#this said i understand why...they happened during the time he was planning the invasion of Russia...but important ok!!

[portuguesedisaster]

Just came back from watching Napoleon and ugh.

[bagofmice]

I prayed i'd meet You again, but why like this?

A/N: I finally got the motivation (and time) to finish a Michael and Lucifer angst minific i begun in [checks calendar] march. :). This piece takes place in the armageddon AU timeline. While i do reccomend you go read the source material to understand this fully, here's a 'quick' summary:

The Demon King and Father never step away from leadership, and the exchange program is never created. Tension between the realms keep rising, and eventually spill over, which results in a war.

In an effort to prevent invasion, the Celestial Realm and Devildom become nigh inhospitable. The Celestial Realm becomes blindingly bright, even at night. Heat from the light results in burns, scorched feathers (loss of flight), and vision loss. The Devildom is clouded by a light-consuming mist. It becomes too dark and too cold to grow any kind of tree, crop or flower. Demons try to cope with famine through canibalism, all while dealing with wide-spread hypothermia* and madness. Sometime during this period, Michael's form is warped beyond recognition in an attempt to make the perfect demon killing machine.

Many angels and demons lose faith in the ambition of their sovereign, and thus create rebellion groups, which eventually fuse into one. Both Father and the Demon King are overthrown. The war is over, but the realms are still far from peace. Infighing in the Coaliton begins. The minific takes place at this point in the timeline. Two ideologies arise from the sea of arguments and discussions; Cohabitionism - belief that the CR and DD are far too damaged, and that angels and demons should permamently reside in the human world (as they have for a while already, many chose to flee to the Human World) Reformism - demons and angels miss their homes, humans want them out of theirs, so a plan of re-establishing CR and DD under new, proggresive leaders hangs in the air.

Reformism died out due to failed attempts to re-ihabit the other realms.

An institution called the World Council is established, angels, demons, and humans all inhabit the Human World.

For the first time in forever, the future that awaits everyone is a bright and happy one.

Written in 2nd person | Lucifer’s point of view Warnings: Angst | body horror | mentioned character death | mentioned self mutilation | existential dread? | post-apocalyptic world | heavily dependent on the source material [Obey me! armageddon AU created by @luckykittysshowerthoughts] Word count: 0.8k (+ 0.3k AU summary) tag list: @floydsteeth @lemidvet

You stand atop scorched ground covered by blood and ash. You and your brothers are here to participate in one of the many  meetings discussing the future of the realms and their surviving citizens. There are many people you know here-  Solomon, Thirteen, Diavolo, the surviving members of the Devildom House of Lords and the seraphim, a couple of other angels (including Simeon), and also a few high ranking Sorcerers’ Society members, guessing by their uniforms.

Although, this time there is a very peculiar… person? Amongst the Celestial Realm representatives that you don’t recognize. You also notice Michael isn’t in attendance again, but it’s no wonder he isn’t after what happened to him.

…

The mysterious angel bothers you. Well, it’s not doing anything to you, you just find it unsettlingly familiar - but you’ve never seen anything quite like it. The creature’s head, ankles, and four wrists are circled by golden bands littered with eyes. There are even more eyes on its wings, but you’re not sure how useful they are, given that said wings are on fire. Its eyes are frantic - looking, observing, but never quite locking eyes onto anything or anyone. Such features are only reserved for an angel’s higher form, but seeing how it was let into the conference like this, it mustn't be able to turn back. 

That was a person, once - or maybe it never was. Maybe it was created specifically to be a killing machine, without a choice and no mouth to voice its complaints.(Maybe its literal facelessness is meant to signify its lack of identity?). Is this really your father's doing? In pursuit of eradicating demon kind, did he truly go as far as to do this to one of his own children  your kin, once? Is this really what he wants? To create an inhabitable world for children malformed, dead, and broken? Is that how he shows 'love'? 

…

Staying in the Devildom’s frozen wasteland for so long clearly didn’t do wonders for your eyesight.*

The golden flames of its wings blinded you from noticing the most important detail about the angel. Beautiful, knee-length hair that shines like the purest gold. You know who this hair belongs to- you ruffled it a lot when you were still your Father’s favourite.

(How could you not have recognised him? You grew up with him. Did all that time you spent together mean nothing to you?)

This isn't just an angel- this is the angel who entrusted Mammon into your care, the one who commissioned the construction of the first ever planetarium in the celestial realm, the one you got a leg up on by going to it before he could, the one you playfully shoved your responsibilities onto when he did the same to you, the very same one you once co-ruled the celestial realm with, this- this is-

Michael is attending the meeting, after all.

The realisation is horrifying. Father did this. He did this to his most loyal and faithful soldier. His current favourite. His own child. If you hadn’t rebelled, if you hadn’t torn out your wings in anger, hadn’t lost your sister- would he have done the same to you?

A distant shout brings you back - the debate is getting heated. You watch as a member of the now nonexistent devildom nobility hollers profanities at an ophanim - Ribkiel, if memory serves you right. The angel can barely wait for the noble to finish before they slam their fists on the table and yell something back. Their pointless squabble incites many others to join in. A few people try to calm the screaming match, though, with Simeon included among them. This isn’t all that surprising -  the last meeting was just as disorderly as this one too. You can’t help but sigh. Something tears your attention again, but this time, away from the ongoing scuffle. There’s a dainty and delicate hand squeezing your arm. Despite your deteriorated eyesight, you can see the scarring on them - and something quite unheard of in such times - nail polish. Things have been peaceful enough recently for Asmodeus to paint his nails his signature blue and pink. Good. Though, the frown on Asmo’s face isn’t. He’s probably worried that you’re zoning out so much. You shake your head and he slides his hands away from you. You don’t notice him shooting you another concerned look as your eyes return to boring into Michael.

This time, he looks at you, too. His brilliant blue eyes gaze deep into your own. Maybe it’s just your imagination, but you swear there was a flash of pain and longing in them.

*- Extreme cold can damage your eyesight, and even lead to blindness. Though this isn't mentioned as something plauging the survivors from the Devildom in the AU.

[horse-girl-anthy]

Hejhej, your video on Penguindrum really was amazing! While you were describing Sanetoshi in his dialogue with the economic despair, the social soil that made Asahara's cult grow, but also his philosophy the phrasing "annihilation of the self to be free" made me think about the following: This idea of self-annihalation is something I might have encountered in NGE as well. Especially Gendou following his own plans for the 3rd impact. In the end his goal was to entirely detach himself, all people in total, in order to not be. Not the same as the total end of death but the idea that there is a secret, pure "core" that can only be if no complications, or tainting aspects of the world touch it.

I don't mean to say that Gendou and Sanetoshi are the same character but in the hindsight of the close personal connections, and sometimes same staff members working with Anno and Ikuhara, and both creating significant works in direct conversation of a very difficult social, socio-economic time in Japan (Penguin Drum also conversing with 90s Japan), I imagine to see more and more thematic parallels.

The point of my entire rambling being is a question if there is any reason to compare leadership figures like Sanetoshi or Gendou? After all NGE was in direct conversation with it's time and general atmosphere, Penguin Drum was a long meditation, and Japanese social issues as well.

I think the comparison is apt. I haven't mentioned this anywhere but at one point I was looking for statements Ikuhara's made on Aum--for a silly reason, just because I think it's funny that he brings it into unrelated conversations. for instance, he did an interview with Anno where they were talking about the anime industry, and Ikuhara made sure to throw in that "with things like the Aum incident, I can understand the feelings of the people who want to reorganize the world."

anyway, in searching for such statements, I went through this EvaWiki page since Ikuhara is featured on it. there are 32 mentions of Aum on the page, most of them not from Ikuhara. Aum was definitely on the minds of the Japanese in the mid-90s.

however, I think that Aum was probably not considered during the planning process for NGE, at least not the early stages, because... the sarin gas attack happened late into the show's production. the EvaGeeks page I just linked features people arguing over whether the attacks affected the show, with most people denying it; however, I did just find an interview with Azuma Hiroki which claims the following:

Krystian Woznicki: So Anno changed the original plot of the story when he saw the news about the invasion of Aum's hide out by the police. Did he change it because it was too close to reality? Azuma Hiroki: Yes, he said so. KW: But did why he change it? What is the problem with Evangelion being so close to the Aum case? AH: Anno thought that the original scenario will not be suitable for broadcasting. KW: So he feared censorship. AH: A kind of censorship. But this is very typical of the anime situation. TV animations are supposed to be seen by youngsters under 15, 16 years old. And I think, if it this wasn't the case, then Anno would have thought that its obvious similarity with the reality would decrease Evangelion's imaginative potential. But anyway, the original scenario is so shockingly close to the political motivation of the Aum Shinrikyo group, they fight against the upshot of the enemy, without knowing what the enemy really is. The angels change their form for example into pyramids, into shadows. I asked Anno about such abstract characteristics of the angels. He said that this reflects the feelings of his generation. For his generation the enemy is not political. It is also not definite. I mentioned to Anno that such abstract characteristics of the enemy are very close to the conception of Aum as enemy (e.g. poison gas) which he admitted. He also admitted the similarity of Evangelion with Aum. Nevertheless it is too simple to conclude that Anno was sympathetic with Aum. He emphasizes the closedness and exclusiveness of this group. They lost any contact with reality.

whether or not NGE was written with Aum in mind, the cult was brought up frequently in discussions of the show. NGE tapped into the culture anxieties of the time during which it was made.

as to the Gendo->Sanetoshi comparison, hm. I want to say they're different. the Third Impact is, for one thing, real--it actually works. what Sanetoshi aims to do is supposedly motivated by the same feelings (that people are divided from one another, trapped in selfhood), but I think that he's well aware that what he's doing won't actually get him out of his box. he's just petulantly rebelling and trying to hurt as many people as he can in the process.

I also would distinguish SEELE's motives from Gendo's. this is my understanding of what happens in End of Eva, so you may disagree, but as far as I understand it, SEELE wanted to cause Third Impact in order to solve humanity's "problem." I don't think Gendo cared about the larger picture. to Gendo, everything in the world was just a tool he could use to be reunited with Yui. Gendo wanted to solve his own problem, not everyone's problem; he's just as selfish as Sanetoshi, but his motives seem different to me.

again though, there's comparisons to be made. consider what Nasu Kinoko said about Sanetoshi:

He represents those who were never loved unconditionally. He’s a parallel to (Oginome) Momoka-chan, who loved everyone unconditionally. The two did meet, but Momoka said “But I’m going now” and went off somewhere, leaving Sanetoshi-sensei behind. He should have cast away his pride and said “I’m coming too!”, allowing himself to be loved. But being unloved for years was the only thing he had pride in, so he couldn’t yield that. Even after all that talk about love, he prioritized his self-preservation.

this sounds very similiar to Gendo's last words, where he admits that he was afraid of the bonds between people, that he felt he didn't deserve to be loved, and that he closed off his heart.

[catgirlforeskin]

Sorry, but some of the notes on posts about elections are absolutely awful.

"Remember that if post induces sense of anger and hopelessness without providing solutions then it's a psyop", bitch we provide solutions, but they are hard and risky because it's literally unfucking worldwide system that existed for centuries if not millennia, and we all know that to this you will respond "that's scary, I don't like it, I would rather vote". Like I hugely disagree with people who call democratic achievements in women's rights or POC rights or queer rights "not inherently proletarian and therefore acceptable to capitalist regime", but absolutely all of it was (and is) conquered by insurgency, not bestowed for being good citizens.

You just know that they would obey racial hygiene because "well I personally don't agree but disobedience is scary".

And "if voting didn't work then they wouldn't try to convince you" is literally conspiracy thinking, like "why would every institution insist on the Earth being round if it was obvious?".

The fact that it's safer for Democrats to move as right as possible until they are noticeably worse than Republicans is literally the logic of profit maximisation. They are businessmen, they understand it pretty well.

Also, they call not voting for Biden "a Russian psyop", but also like, both the start of war with Ukraine and the invasion of 2022 happened during Democratic reign, under Trump it was a complete stalemate. I wouldn't draw a lot of conclusions from this, but Putin also said that he would prefer Biden. Trump is allegedly planning to stop military aid for Ukraine and I am not sure that it's good for us (like until either Russia or NATO are incapable of being at war with each other we are at risk of becoming a battleground once again, but also it may end with our surrender because Russia clearly can win against ALL of NATO, and NATO may not be interested in Eastern Europe to launch a whole intervention).

And can I remark how bullshit viewing elections as the only way to do things? My country aside from not having elections this time doesn't have a party that is at least somewhat close to my ideals. Russian opposition is also big on "voting as protest" but like 6 years ago the government spent tons of money on propaganda of voting for anyone. One Russian "Marxist-Leninist" group is saying that it's not about literal votes it's about making connections with people who come to vote, but when I pointed out how bullshit it sounds and benefits the government I was blocked from their chat as well

Yeah it’s always from a place of “well yeah if you’re [insert long list of marginalized people] then both parties hurt you the same, but I might lose some of MY crumbs of imperial superprofits if the other guy wins! Why can’t you just shut up about genocide and do what benefits meeee?”

[starkidblogs]

The Revenge Of The Spider Queen

A/n: Hi there! This chapter is much shorter because I cannot work on it as much due to work and family matters. I hope you can still enjoy it.

Chapter Eight 1/2

It was only a few days after the attack of Demon Bull King, and now it was the lunar New Year. A time to celebrate by spending time with family and friends, but you couldn't. Not with everything on your mind. Your fingers fidget with your necklace as you drown out the noises of the crowds.

~After DBK attack~

After the attack of the Demon Bull King and the bull clones, the city was a chaotic mess. During this time, the gang helps the citizens with the disaster mess. As for you, you had gone to check in on Bai He and her family. You were worried that something terrible happened to them.

Before you left to see them, you went back home. When you enter the boutique, you realize something missing. Chief's suit wasn't on the mannequin. You were worried and wondering if you had miss placed it, but found a bright blue note. You raised an eyebrow as you read it.

'My dear, (Y/n),

I'm glad to see that my clothes have been tailored, to fit me perfectly. Unfortunately, I had to leave before thanking you properly due to urgent matters that needed my attention. However, I promise to express my gratitude when I see you again.

Sincerely your Chief'

You smiled as your face had a pink glow on your cheek. You felt happy to read he liked the suit, but something was off. You couldn't understand why it felt like you were reading a different person's penmanship. You assume it was simply due to lack of sleep and ignore the idea.

Once you hit the road, you hoped Bai He and her family had escaped the bull clone invasions and were far away from the city. Luckily, you discovered that they had just returned home.

Unfortunately, things did not go as planned. Upon arriving at Bai He's house, you were greeted by her distressed parents rushing towards you. After you got out of the car, you spoke with them and inquired about the situation. Their tear-filled explanation painted a bleak picture.

Bai He had gone missing.

Her parents explained how she went after the cat after it escaped the house before DBK's attack, but she never returned home. They checked with the police, but she wasn't there. They were hoping that she was with you, but they noticed that you arrived there alone. As you listened, you became stunned, and your gut twisted with fear about what might have happened to her.

A report was made about a missing child, but the police were occupied with handling multiple emergencies resulting from the attack. The only thing you and your group could do was search for the child. You put up missing posters at your boutique and Pigsy's noodles. You went to her favorite but nothing. As time went by without any leads, it became apparent that you were struggling. Your friends noticed that you were not getting enough sleep and had poor eating habits. To ease your mind, even momentarily, Sandy and Mei suggested taking you to the festival.

~Present~

You sighed in frustration as you sat in Pigsy's food van as the festival became more lively with each passing minute. You were too deep in thought to notice the bowl of noodles in front of you. It wasn't until Pigsy snapped you out of it, "Kid, your noodles are going to go soggy if you keep staring at them." He said as he started to make another bowl. "Oh yeah... Sorry, Pigsy." You said as you ate.

"I understand you are not feeling well, but if you don't take care of yourself, you can't give your best to help her." The demon pig said as you finished the bowl of noodles, staring down at the leftover broth, seeing your hazy reflection. "You're right." you said, "I need to get better before I find more problems or create them." You say, with a sigh, as Pigsy served another patron.

Your attention turned to the struggle of the dragon horse girl. Looking up to see Mei struggling to fold the dumplings, you could have sworn you heard her say something about how difficult it is without fingers. You chuckled as you offered to help. Mei smiled and gave you a few to fold.

Tang ate his noodles as he saw his husband becoming more stressed. "Mei, (Y/n). Is it me, or does Pigsy seem more stressed than normal?" He said to you. Making all three see the demon pig forcing a smile and sweating. You can feel the tension coming off of him."Yeah, isn't Mk suppose to be working?" You asked them, but as you said, Mk's name caused Pigsy to snap.

"YES! (Y/N), HE IS! " He yelled at the three of you, as he continued, "WHERE IS THAT PUNK! CAUSE HE'S SURE AIN'T HERE!" You and Tang held your breath cause you didn't know where Mk was until Mei spoke up. "He's training with the Monkey King!" She casually said to Pigsy. " He said, 'NEW YEAR, NEW MK! I'm going to take my training to a whole new level!'" She finished, posing like Mk and using a mop on the counter. You laughed as a frustrated Pigsy seized the mop from Mei and snapped it in half. "Gimme that!"

"NeW yEaR nEw Mk! Keep going like this, he'll be newly unemployed!" Pigsy said as he created another bowl. "I mean it! If mk don't get here soon, I'm gonna," Before he could finished, he was interrupted by a looming shadow. He screamed, causing you to turn towards the figure. You saw a very festive Sandy, his arms filled with treats, toys, red envelopes, and candy. "Good cheer and Happy New Year!" Sandy grinned as he dropped his haul on the counter and some on Pigsy. "Look at all these delicious little goodies! I got enough to share." He proudly said.

Tang, You, and Mei were impressed, "Oooh! Thanks, Sandy." Mei thanked the blue man. You picked up an orange from the pile and started to peel it. "Yeah, Thank you, Sandy." you smiled at him.

"No problem! So um. Where's Mk?" Sandy said as he scratched his head. Pigsy burst out of the treats and toy he was under. He shouted, "WOULD YOU GUYS, PLEASE, SCREW AROUND SOMEWHERE ELSE!" Making you flinch and drop the half-peeled orange. "If you ain't going to help, go bothered somewhere else!"

"Aw... My orange." You playful pouted, seeing it go down the drain. Mei and Sandy laughed while Tang ate more noodles, and you peeled another orange. Pigsy moves the treats and toy from the counter, "At least clear the counter!" He said.

Sandy sat down next to you while you ate your orange. "You okay? You seem to be doing better." He asked, as you nod your head and gave him a piece of your orange. " I am doing a little better now that I'm here with you guys." You sigh with a soft smile. Sandy pats your back as he accepts your offer. "That's good to hear. Don't worry, we'll find her," he reassured you.

"Thanks, guys." You smiled. Time flies by as you guys made your way to the lunar new year parade. Sandy carries Tang and Mei to get an amazing view of the floats. They were incredible as you watch the dancers, the dragons, and the fireworks. All of you were in awe as you saw it pass by. "Man, Mk is surely missing this!" Mei said as you agreed. "Yeah, look at all these cool floats!" You chirped with joy.

"There's the dragon one, and there's the spider one," Sandy said, confusing the gang. "What? There's no spider in the zodiac. It's probably just an eight-legged roster-" Tang said as he turned to the floats. "An eight-legged roster, Tang? I don't think they would mess up that bad-" you responded, but you saw the float.

It was a spider float, a machine-like spider with bright purple and green colors. Everyone was shocked and confused about the strange float, the whole parade stopped in its track. "What's happening?" You questioned as you felt your gut turn.  

To be continued.

Words:1,364

[skywalkergeek]

Padmé and Luke similarities

Can anyone else agree that Padmé and Luke or way more alike?

 For instance Luke is more level headed, (He could be reckless but he truly learned from his mistakes he knew his weaknesses he thought about his actions.)

 Kind (He may of grown up on Tatooine but he didn’t let all the bad things happening in the world crush him. I do understand that Anakin grew up as a slave and in harmful environment but still that shouldn't control you. The difference is Luke didn’t let all that darkness control him. Through Anakin was being manipulated he still had some control. He let all the awful things in his life control him which lead him to his downfall.

  Intelligent (Both Padmé and Luke were intelligent. Padmé was a queen at 14 she thought out what she did. It takes deal of bravery and intelligences to lead her planet through an invasion. She was carful what she did she always thought carefully. Luke could reckless but he learned especially in return of the Jedi. He was carful what he said to his father he thought it out well. He carefully made a plan to invade Jabba’s palace. Luke also had a backup plan if things didn’t go to according to plan than he wouldn’t be clueless with the help of his companion R2D2 they escaped.)

 Selfless (They were both selfless they cared about people around them. What do I mean? Padmé layed down her life for her planet. She was willing to sacrifice her own happiness to help her people. Luke layed down his life when the alliance was in trouble he sacrificed himself while fighting Kylo Ren for the rebellion, for the last sliver of hope he sacrificed himself then they could have of survival.)

 Brave (Padmé was brave during multiple times during her life. She fought for her planet survival during the invasion of Naboo. She may have been young but never underestimate someone for the height or age or looks. She was also brave during the battle of Geonosis. While Luke was brave fighting Vader, Sidious, and fighting in the rebellion.

And this is why I think Luke and Padmé are similar. (Mother like son)

(I've had this in my drafts on my main blog since February of 2022 I think that says a lot! 😳)

[spider-xan]

Do you think the sudden appearance of Miles’s new costume in the third act may also be a remnant of the scrapped plan to have him be possessed by a symbiote and communicate with venom as well as product placement? I also wonder if the scrapped plans for the third act had to do with the meteorite or Venom’s alien origins; I found the emphasis on the meteorite after Connors was cured interesting since it seemed to hint at its role being greater than the “McGuffin that must be destroyed” it ended up being.

It's possible, and hopefully we'll learn more about what ideas were originally meant to be in the game (as opposed to just brainstormed) and had to be cut when the developers were under pressure to meet targets!

I know Tony Todd said that only 10% of the Venom dialogue he recorded was used and that some of the unused dialogue was for the plot where Miles gets Venomized that got cut, but yeah, the whole thing with Miles suddenly designing a new costume in the middle of an alien invasion bc he felt like it was so weird from a storytelling perspective - like, yeah, there was the product placement thing, and I suspect they wanted Miles to have his own special boss fight climax suit like Peter having the Anti-Ock and Anti-Venom suits, but I don't get why they didn't try to come up with a practical explanation for it, like that it channels his Venom Blast better against symbiotes; maybe the original idea of him being Venomized could have worked as a catalyst to have him understandably take the time during the symbiote takeover to design a new suit to fight that instead of just randomly wanting a new costume lol

And yeah, the meteorite plot was weird bc the game wasn't really clear on what it did exactly and why Venom needed it for his plan? He had already taken over a significant part of New York before getting it, and then when he does put it back together and escapes with it, he just symbiotes New York some more? And that's it? You would think from the 'heal the world' arc words and plan that the meteorite would be the key to spreading the symbiotes all over the world, but that doesn't happen - and at the same time, a plot like that would probably be beyond the scope of a grounded Spider-Man like the Insomniac version, which goes back to how maybe a more personal plot would have worked better than world-ending cosmic stakes.

Overall, the Kraven plot earlier in the game was generally well-paced and took its time developing the characters and plot points, but the Venom plot is kind of underdeveloped and messy once Peter removes the symbiote bc it just rushes from one action scene to another without breathing space and a lot of focus seems to be on destroying nests and beating up random symbiotes and things like the addiction metaphor and character development get lost.

[rarebird22]

Update!

The meeting went better than I expected and the stake president is nice! He did say like 2 problematic things but neither of them seemed intentional; overall he's got a solid foundation for becoming a good ally in the future! Summary of our meeting under the cut.

(also for anyone coming across this post who's not familiar with mormonism, stakes are organizational units like parishes)

Stake Pres was still meeting with someone else when I arrived so I talked with one of his counselors for a while. Turns out the counselor studied the same subjects, at the same college, as I am currently! He told me about his experiences being in our college's first-ever GIS class (at the time called Computer Cartography) in the 80's. It was a super cool connection and made me feel less anxious.

The stake president also spent a while getting to know me before asking why I scheduled the meeting/what I wanted to talk about. The stake presidency is new (just got called a month or two ago) which I think contributes. Anyways, I explained to him that I feel strongly about increasing inclusion in the church, and that recent experiences have made me feel like I need to start taking a more active role. I specifically mentioned the conference talks "Welcome to the Church of Joy" and "Ye are my Friends" - if you haven't read those I highly recommend them!

Anyways, I explained that I have many friends and family members who are queer and that a lot of church policy/rhetoric can make queer people feel broken, rejected, or unloved. TBH, I was really nervous at this point- I was bringing up a topic that's sorta taboo within the church and had no idea how this guy would react. I might have rambled a bit as I was trying to get my point across as much I could in one go. I was worried that if I did figure out he was homophobic, I wouldn't feel comfortable sharing much else. I told him that I feel really strongly about actively showing queer folks that they're welcome and loved, and I would like to do something to show that more in our stake. (I already have some ideas of how to do that, but wanted to stay open to collaborate and build something together if possible, and since I was anxious I ended up saying "I don't know what that would look like, but I want to do something.")

After patiently listening to me explaining (and probably repeating myself several times), Stake Pres told me he was glad I came in to talk. I got the sense that his listening was really genuine. I do not remember the entirety of what he said, but I remember him emphasizing that he believes everyone is a child of God; that God obviously loves all of his children no matter what; and that he doesn't understand why people feel homosexual attraction or that their gender doesn't match their sex (my words not his- he just said he doesn't know why people feel "that way").

He told me about two personal experiences with queer people while he's been in a church leader role, and both left me feeling pleasantly surprised- based on his telling of the stories, he handled the situations extremely well for a leader in the Church.

The first story was about calling someone to be a high counselor in a YSA stake, and the guy told him during the interview that he was gay and was probably going to start dating guys. The stake pres asked him if he planned to keep his temple covenants (specifically the law of chastity), the guy getting called said yes, and the stake pres told him that as long as that was the case there wouldn't be any problem with him holding a calling. He says he ended the interview by telling the guy to come back and let him know if anything changed and he wanted to be released, making sure to clarify that he wouldn't ask any invasive personal questions if that did happen. The way he told the story seemed to show a lot of respect for the guy's agency.

The second story was about a trans woman who came out to him in a personal interview she scheduled. (there's discussion of internalized transphobia here, read carefully) He explained that she was very clearly feeling a lot of anguish/mental distress over the decision to publicly transition, and that she was basically choosing between transition or suicide. It broke my heart when he recounted her asking if God would ever possibly accept her decision and not hate her. (Back to more positive stuff:) Please, if you're feeling the same, know that God has created you the way you are on purpose, that he loves you deeply, and that he would never bar you from coming home because of the way he made you.

The stake President explained how the experience taught him that being trans is not a choice. He said that to him, it didn't seem like a situation where agency was involved, rather that transitioning was the only good solution for her in a genuine crisis. I told him that this was a very familiar situation as it's what my aunt went through. She's luckily still with us and doing well!

Like I mentioned above, there were a few less-than-ideal comments: A- Stake Pres used he/him pronouns in his story about the trans woman. It's something I've noticed older folks doing frequently when they feel a need to make the direction of a transition clear but don't know about terminology like afab or amab. I didn't feel like it was very problematic in this case, more like Stake Pres just didn't know better. B - in both of the stories above, the people eventually decided to step away from active participation at church. Stake Pres expressed a lot of sorrow at that, kind of giving the impression of "unfortunately they didn't stay in the church for long after coming out." That attitude did feel problematic to me, but it's something I hope honest, heartfelt stories or conversations could help with. I really do believe that more genuine listening and dialogue is the solution to a lot of ideological differences and othering.

We ended our meeting with him thanking me again for coming in to meet, telling me that following promptings to help others is a good thing and that he agrees with my goals. He promised to reach out again after talking with his counselors about things I might be able to do to help.

Anyways, thanks for reading the really long post if you got this far. Let me know what you think, and remember that you are beautifully and wonderfully made!

Look queerstake! I was brave and did something scary 😊

[ellana-ravenwood]

The art of taking care of the woman you love - Bruce Wayne x Fem!Reader

Synopsis : You’ve always had really bad period pains. You learned to live with it, and to take care of yourself during those times...Up until a certain Bruce Wayne came into your life, and made it his mission to be there for you. 

For @meghan-maria​, who gotta be the sweetest out there :), and for anyone who ever had really bad period pains. I hope you will like it : 

TW : periods. It’s obvious given the theme, but I guess we never know and better safe than sorry. 

My master list : @ella-ravenwood-archives​

_________________________________________________

The First time it happened

It’s the fact you cancelled your planned date with him without an explanation that makes him worry. 

“Sorry, can’t make it tonight. Will see you tomorrow !” 

You never did that before, and you two were so busy neither of you would miss a date really. Not unless something bad or important happened. But then in that case, you would’ve told him, no ?

It made him so anxious. And he was starting to clearly overthink things. 

Were you maybe...having second thoughts ? 

You and Bruce made your relationship official not long ago, was the media’s pressure becoming too much ? You told him you’d be fine, but after a few months experiencing the plague that were paparazzi and invasive questions, did you change your mind ? 

Or maybe it was because of the whole Batman thing ? You discovered that a while ago, even before making your relationship official so...why would you change your mind about it now ? 

Maybe he came home with too many cuts and bruises. Maybe you were freaking out ? He would understand if you did. 

Or...There was a last option that came to his mind : he upset you somehow. 

It was entirely possible, sometimes he could get stuck in his own mind, and be a jerk without even truly realizing it. He knew that fact very well about himself. It was often the reason of how he ruined multiple relationships, friends or more. 

The way he sometimes just got too focused on his vigilante work. Too obsessed. And could be stuck in a “dark mode” like you’d say...

But, he also knew that you never took any of his shit. You would’ve told him if something was really the matter, right ? 

Right ?!

Should he ask Alfred if he noticed anything ? His butler, and surrogate father, always saw things that escaped him. Especially when it came to feelings. 

This was a less known trait about Bruce, but ever since he was a child, he’s always been anxious. He was usually really good at hiding it, and his “Brucie Wayne” persona made everyone think it wasn’t possible for him to be anything else but confident and cocky but...it wasn’t true. 

Especially when it came to those he cared about. Especially when it came to you. 

You loved him despite his flaws, accepted him fully, without any conditions. It was the first time it ever happened, that he LET it happen...So, with this simple plan cancellation that was quite unlike you, he freaked out a bit.

In the middle of the day, he finally decided to call you. One. Two. Three tones before you picked up, and oh. Oh he felt so relieved to hear your little “hello ?” 

At the same time, his worry peaked. Was it just him, or did you sound really weak ?

“Hey honey, just wanted to check if you were alright ? Your text was a little short, and I know you don’t owe me any explanations of course, but I just wanted to check on you. You know. I-um...” 

Clumsy Brooshy. 

It made you smile, the way he could be a little flustered and lose his words, when with you. And it made you smile even wider that he chose to call you to make sure everything was ok. 

Sweet Broosh.

If you really didn’t want to talk to him, you wouldn’t have answered. And he wasn’t the kind of man to “insist”. He would’ve left a voice message, and leave you alone until you felt like calling him back. Bruce was most definitely not invasive...but at the same time, you’d never leave him worrying for no reasons, knowing how anxious he could be.

The truth was, your text was short because...You didn’t know how to tell him the reasons you needed to cancel your date. You didn’t want to embarrass him. Men didn’t really like to talk about what you currently were suffering from. 

You also were a little embarrassed yourself, because the entire society surrounding you made you feel wrong for having periods. 

Periods. 

One week a month. Every single months. That was a lot. 

Especially for you because...you always had complicated and difficult periods. Painful. Making you feel like you couldn’t move. The pain making it impossible for you to even get out of bed for long. 

You and Bruce had been dating for a while but...weren’t periods sort of a taboo subject ? You didn’t really know how to tell him. Especially since most men really seemed uncomfortable with the all thing. 

Of course, you should’ve know Bruce wasn’t “most men”. 

“Baby, are you there ?” 

“Um yes yes, sorry I was lost in thoughts.” 

“Are you ok ? You don’t sound right.” 

The most observant man in the World was obviously going to realize your voice sounded weaker than usually. The truth was, you were trying really hard to keep it steady as pain filled your being. 

“Yes yes, I’m ok, just feeling a bit...under the weather ?” 

“Is there anything I can do ? Is it a cold or something ? If so, I can bring you buy some chicken noodle soup, and pick up any meds you might need.” 

You almost cried at his words. 

Super busy bee Bruce Wayne was telling you he’d go out of his way to bring you what you needed...It made you crack a little. 

He was too damn nice. And your hormones were in shambles. It was very easy right now for you to cry. 

This. How willing he was to help you, how he immediately asked if he could...Was what made you say the truth without thinking twice : 

“I’m-I’m on my periods. They’re usually- They’re usually bad.” 

“Oh.” 

His response scared you a little bit. Were you right, was this maybe too much, too soon ? You were about to add something when he said : 

“I’ll be there in about an hour, if it’s ok with you ? If you prefer to be alone I can send-” 

“No ! No, I would love for you to come. I just-I wasn’t sure-I-”

“It’s ok. I understand. See you in a bit, love you.” 

“Love you, too.” 

On that note, Bruce hung up and leaves you with a wild beating heart. 

************

Exactly an hour later, your doorbell rings. 

With difficulties, you stand up, and go open the door. Surely enough, it’s your boyfriend. 

“Hi.” 

“Hi.” 

He has a bag in his hand, and you melt a little at the soft look and smile he gives you (even if there’s clear concerns behind it). You let him in, and go sit on the couch, even if just sitting up is already too much. 

“Do you want to lie down ?” 

“No. No I’m fine. You came all the way here, I can’t just stay in bed haha.” 

“Of course you can.” 

There’s a small silence for a little bit. Not awkward, you’re just not quite sure what to do. Should you go back to bed ? You really want to. And clearly, he understands. He always does. 

“Ok.” 

You stand, and wince because moving really makes everything worst. He approaches you, worried, but doesn’t dare to touch you and just follows you into your room. You get back in your comfy bed, under your comfy comforter. 

Another silence. Until he breaks it, taking something out of the bag he was carrying and saying : 

“So. I wasn’t sure you had a hot water bottle, I don’t ever recall seeing one in your apartment. So I bought one on the way just in case. Sorry if you don’t like the color, I can pick another one up later. It’s just, the woman on YouTube said that heat pads and hot water bottles were great.”

“The...woman on YouTube ?” 

“Yes, I watched a video on menstruations on the way here.” 

For a few seconds, you just stare at him, stunned. Never EVER in your entire life did you think you would hear THE Bruce Wayne say those words one day.

“A video on menstruations ?”

“Well, yes. Obviously, I don’t have periods. So I have no idea what it feels like. So I watched a video, to understand the process. And also so that you wouldn’t have to explain anything to me. You know what periods are, you don’t have to educate me on it. It’s not your job. And I definitely don’t want to sound patronizing about it. So I watched a video, and read a few articles. I won’t say I know how it feels, but I understand it more. Tell me if I ever step my bounds at any moment..” 

You can’t help but smile, even as your lower belly is on fire. Ah. Of course he would search things about it. Bruce was the kind of man to be thorough in his researches before tackling a problem. As Batman, he always tried to know everything there is to know about a situation before finding any solutions. But he was like that in real life too. 

And it particularly touched you that he did it so you wouldn’t have to explain...You had an ex, once, who sat down with you to talk about menstruations and it sort of drove you crazy. He thought it was nice, but your hormones were wreaking HAVOC and he was trying to explain to you how periods work and what it felt like ??? Give you advice about it and that it would be fine if you did what he said ?? Excuse me ??? As if you didn’t try everything already to feel less pain. And as if, as a woman, you didn’t know what it felt like or what it was exactly...

And there came Bruce. Reading up on it. And knowing he would never quite know how it feels. But educating himself so he won’t say something that could trigger you in any way. 

Sweet sweet man...If only people knew. 

He caressed your cheek softly, before whispering : 

“Then I-I watched something on endometriosis, because I read in a previous article it felt horrible. And you said your periods were bad, when we were on the phone. It sounds awful. Do you-...Have endometriosis ?” 

You shake your head weakly. Endometriosis was one of the reason why your periods were so painful and dreaded. And the worst ? It was a sickness many people said didn’t even exist. 

A woman being in pain during her periods ? Drama queen. Right ? It didn’t hurt that baaaaad. See, some women didn’t feel anything, just bled for a bit and moved on with their months. So obviously every women felt the same. Some were just being too sensitive...

Endometriosis was still, even to this day, a rather unknown illness and one that was rarely taken seriously. Some people just couldn’t even fathom you being in pain because of your periods, so much so that you couldn’t move. 

That you occasionally fainted, that you couldn’t eat much because it made you vomit, that you had awful migraines, stomach ache and back pain. That you couldn’t focus or sleep because of it. No. 

No those were just “made up symptoms” because you were “weak”...What awful things to say, right ? It was even worst to hear. Someone telling you this, as you felt like you were dying because of the pain, made you feel GUILTY to have painful periods. 

But it wasn’t your fault ? IT WASN’T YOUR FAULT ?! Nor were the moodswings, the cravings, the fatigue...

You hated going to the doctors when you were younger, because you knew he wouldn’t believe you when you said your periods hurt...

Anyway. Even without endometriosis, women who had bad periods pain were rarely taken seriously. Unless they met another woman who felt the same. Then they’d feel like they weren’t alone, or crazy. Like there were others who felt bad too. 

Every woman was different. And you unfortunately never met someone else with the same problems than you...

You felt very alone, for so long, and it was enhanced by your hormones going crazy and the pain being unbearable at times. 

And then, in come Bruce. 

Your Broosh. 

“Ok. Well. I brought you some of your favorite food. And um, I picked up some snacks if you want to do a movie marathon ? I brought all The Lord of the Rings extended editions. I got heat pads and a hot water bottle like I said. We can also just cuddle and relax if you prefer, I read that physical comfort was good ? Or, I can leave everything here, settle you in properly, and leave you alone. Just, tell me what you need my love ?” 

What did...you need ? 

Nobody ever asked you that. Nobody. Not even your parents. 

What did you need ? 

The answer came quickly. 

Him. You need him. His warmth. His large and soothing hands. His comforting presence. His calming voice. 

You knew you were in love with him since a while now. You exchanged “I love yous” already. But never did you feel as much love for him as right now, seeing him sitting in front of you, asking you what you needed...

A simple action. Simple words. And yet, it meant everything. 

“What do you need, honey ?” 

The concern in his eyes, and how he was very obviously ready to do whatever you wanted him to. 

It already made you feel better. The physical pain didn’t go down, that’s not how it worked unfortunately. But the emotional anguish ? Gone. 

Because he was there. 

Without even realizing it, you started crying. This was too much for your heart, too overwhelming. It meant the World, in that moment. 

It meant the world, to you and your overworked hormones. And so you cried. You cried hard. 

Without thinking twice, Bruce moved towards you. Taking his coat off and leaving it on the floor (Alfred would scold him about this for sure), he climbs in your bed and engulfs you in his arms. And it’s so warm and comforting, comfortable, too. 

“Just tell me what you need..”

He whispered to you, in his deep calming voice, his fingers running soothingly through your hair. 

“Could you just...keep holding me ?” 

He smiles softly, and says : 

“Of course.” 

He never, and never would, shy away from comforting you in any way. If you needed to have a good cry in his arms, so be it. And if you just needed him to be there, he would be there. 

You cuddled for a bit, the soothing circles he rubbed on your back doing wonders to make you feel relax. He brought some essential oils, that he massaged on your belly before filling the hot water bottle and laying it there...It relieved the pain a little bit, as you started a marathon of your favorite movies.

He took great care of you all day long, answering your every need even as you didn’t dare to ask...as if he could read your mind. You almost suspected he really could. You never felt so in phase with anyone before like you did with him.  

You had been together for less than a year. Although your anniversary was right around the corner. But him coming over as soon as he knew you weren’t feeling well. Him educating himself on what was it that hurt you...

If you weren’t sure yet that he was the one...You knew now. 

It sucks to be a woman, sometimes 

Bruce never knew periods could be that bad. Well, of course, he was a guy. And “periods” was never really a subject he talked about with anyone. He never really paid attention to it, like many men really. 

Until he saw you while on it. 

He knew you. He knew you were a tough lady. Once, you broke your leg while on a date with him. A silly accident really. Involving an ice rink, and an overzealous you chasing a hockey puck...Long story short, you ended up with a bad break. And you barely said a word about it. 

Bruce had his bones broken many times, he knew the pain of it. It was one of the pain he hated the most, along with burns. One he dreaded the most. And you took it like a champ. 

The break was bad enough you even needed surgery, yet you kept smiling at him (he might’ve feel bad that he let his over-competitive mind take over, “pushing” you to really want that puck...but of course, it was not his fault, after all, you too were very competitive, it was a pure accident). Saying you were fine, and that it’d be ok. 

He always hated seeing you hurt, it hurt him too. Inside. And scared the Hell out of him, to even think about you being harmed. So that day, he was rather frantic. You staying calm helped him, which made him feel a little guilty that even as you were the hurt one, you reassured him. 

But then you reminded him the roles were often reversed when he came back hurt from a rough vigilante night...You always had the right words to ease his mind. 

Anyway. That one time, after badly breaking your leg, you stayed rather calm and collected. But when you had your periods ? 

He never knew it could hurt so much. You couldn’t hide your pain, or pretend everything was alright. 

It was clearly a really bad moment to go through. 

He knew about the terrible migraines, being unable to sleep which made everything worst, feeling like your lower belly was being twisted from the inside, being sore all over for no reasons, not being able to move... 

Seeing you, was enough for him to know that periods sucked. 

“Being a woman is the worst, sometimes!” 

You’d often say during those moments, and he’d just soothe you, wishing he was in your place...

He hated when you were hurting. It hurt him too. Inside. 

And never. NEVER would he doubt that you were in real pain. Because unlike the doctors who kept telling you it was in your head, he knew you. He saw you get injured before. He knew you were tough. So for you to not be able to pretend everything was fine... 

You were hurting. Badly. And it was awful. But he believed you. He believed you and that’s all that mattered to you. 

Space

He also knew how to give you space when you needed it, though. 

He would be here if you needed him, bring you any food you craved, giving you relaxing massages, rubbing essential oils on your belly, filling up your hot water bottle etc etc. 

To be honest, his reaction to you being on your period is what made you sure he would be a great father one day...And you were right. 

Not a perfect father. 

But oh. Oh he cared. And wanted so much to do good...

And he knew. 

He knew exactly when he had to be there, and when he had to give you space. 

His hoodie

Bruce couldn’t always be with you when you had your periods, of course. 

He often took time off to be. But it was unrealistic to think he could be 24/7 with you the entire week. 

And sometimes, when he was away, you really suddenly craved his presence...So you came up with a trick. 

You stole his clothes. 

Particularly, hoodies he often wore when hanging out casually in the Manor. 

First of, they were very comfortable. And second, and most importantly : they smelled like him. 

They were warm, had his scent, and you could fall asleep feeling like he was almost there. 

Bruce couldn’t count the number of hoodies he lost to you....Then again, after a while, you’d ruthlessly abandon one because it stopped smelling like him, and would steal another one. 

Of course, he never minded. In fact, beyond the fact hoodies were nice and comfortable, he started to wear them a lot while in the house or during times he didn’t need to wear a suit (in every sense of the term), specifically because he knew you’d steal them when you felt lonely. 

It was cute. And it made his heart beat faster just thinking about it. 

Nobody. 

Nobody ever needed him that much before. Nobody ever loved him so much that sometimes him not being around was distressing. 

Of course, he felt the same. And the knowledge that you too, would sometimes feel lovesick when you were separated for too long...Filled his heart to the brim with the best feelings. 

For so long, he thought someone being dependable of him, and him being dependable of someone was bad...Oh, how he was wrong. 

It’s not because you open your heart to someone that you’ll get hurt, or that they’ll use it against you. You just have to find the right person... 

So. Yes. He will always cancel plans just to be with you. 

To bring you hot water bottles whenever you need. To cook your favorite food and snacks. To be there during all your mood swings, and endure even if you’re not the nicest to him (it’s not your fault). To watch your favorite movies. To let you sleep in and run your errands...

Periods sucked. 

He didn’t need to be a woman to know that. 

So he was there. Right there. For you. Taking care of you. And he would forever be there for that. 

But when he wasn’t ? 

Then he’d strategically leave one of his hoodie near the bed, so you could steal it, and comfort yourself with his smell...

Mood Swings 

“Brooooooooooosssssh...” 

You’re crying. You’re crying ! 

And it makes Bruce panic. You cry very rarely, so when you do it means something really bad must’ve happened or..or...

Bruce makes a quick calculation in his head and...Yup. 

It’s that time of the month again. 

Already ? Poor you.. 

This means that tomorrow, you’ll be a mess as everything will hurt too much, and today, the eve right before, you’re overly emotional. 

Hence you clinging to him right now, sobbing while repeating “I love you so much Bruce, I love you soooo much”. 

Hormones could really turn your head around. Right at the start of your period, before the pain, you had a rush of many emotions. 

You could either get very irritated for no reason (like “WHY IS THIS FLOOR ON THE FLOOR ?!”) or cry at everything. Right now, you were crying because you realized you loved your Broosh to death and you just had to tell him and you didn’t want him to go that night and...ah...

“It’s alright, it’s alright my love. You’re ok. We’re ok.” 

He lets you cry in his arms, of course. And already made the decision to not go out tonight, and stay with you. Kate could take over. He couldn’t leave knowing your emotions were doing quite a trick on you...

************

Your mood swings during your periods were particularly bad. 

You guessed it went in pairs with all the pain. Of course, not just one thing had to be exacerbated. Oh no. EVERYTHING bad about periods had to be turned to the max for you. Otherwise, were was the fun, right ? Sarcasm. 

You’d get irritated for no reasons. Then feel bad and cry for hours. To then feel ridiculously giddy once again for seemingly no reason...and then suddenly a burst of anxiety would attack you. 

It was a circus in your mind, and in your body. 

You couldn’t focus on anything. You couldn’t sleep properly. You felt awful all the time. Everything hurt. God...

And there he was. Bruce. Taking the brunt of your bad moods without saying a word. He knew it wasn’t your fault. That you didn’t mean it. That your hormones dictated your behavior against your own will. 

He knew. 

And he was there. 

He was there. 

“Every little moment is important, Son” - Thomas Wayne, to Bruce during the Flashpoint events.

“Bruce ? What are you doing here ? Thought you had important meetings ?”

“They weren’t that important.” 

“Really ? Lucious said-”

“Lucious is overdramatic. Anyway, Tim is taking care of it.” 

“...You’re letting our sixteen years old son taking care of the future of your company ?” 

“To be honest, he’s probably more competent about it than me.” 

“...That’s actually pretty accurate. But, why did you cancel things ?” 

“Because it’s this unpleasant time of the month, right ?”

“Oh. You don’t have to-” 

“I absolutely do.” 

Disappearing for a few seconds, your husbands comes back, wearing one of his favorite silk pajamas (and by “his” favorite, he really means : he knows you love them and think they look good on him, but won’t ever admit it because they’re “damn pajamas, it’s silly”...but he likes to please you). He then climbs in bed with you, and settles comfortable against you. 

“So, what’s the program today ?” 

This wasn’t unusual, for him to do this when you were on your periods. 

In fact, it was almost a ritual. Delegating his works to others, so he could take care of you. 

Ever since that first time, all those years ago, things didn’t change much. He would ask you what you need, you’d tell him, and he would do it happily. 

He knew it was a tough moment for you, physically, hormonally, mentally...Having your periods sucked. So he was there. Right there. 

The words his father...Well, not really his father. The “Thomas Wayne” of another dimension. What his father would’ve become if he died that fateful night, instead of his parents. Regardless, to him, it was his father. 

The father that never saw him grow up and became the man he was now...Yet who had important words for him. 

“Take advantage of every little moments, you never know when it’ll end.” 

Those words stuck with him. Because it was true. It only took a few seconds in an alleyway for his whole world to turn upside down...Why would it take any less for it to completely change now too ? 

What if something happened to you ? And he didn’t spend enough time by your side ? Or to his kids ? 

There was a time, being Batman was everything to Bruce. Because he was angry, lost, and devastated. 

But over the years...Over the years this role stayed important. But he expended his vision. He included others in it. 

So. Yes. He would treasure those small moments with you. And if it meant taking a day and night off to take care of you during a rough time, then he’d do it. If it meant missing work (both his works) because one of his children was sick, so be it. 

He was Batman. But he was also a husband. A father. 

And now...Now he knew his priorities. 

He’d never stop being Batman. Never. 

But he knew now. He knew there was more to life than this dark world he thought he’d get stuck in till the end of his life. 

“I was about to watch a movie.” 

“A movie it is. If you want me here, of course.” 

“Do you even have to ask ?” 

“To make sure you’re ok ? Always.” 

“-sigh- Yes. Yes Bruce, I want you here. I want nothing else, in fact.” 

“Ah, not even pop-corn ?”

“...Once we’ll have pop-corn, I’ll want nothing else.” 

“Um, why is there tampons in your drawer ??” 

One day, one of Bruce’s associate, Carlton, needed some paperworks to finish a deal, and came into his office. Bruce was on the phone, and gestured to him to just pick the papers up in one of his desk’s drawer. 

Only the man misunderstood and opened the wrong drawer and...

“What the-Why is there tampons and pads in your drawers ?”

He asked, half-bewildered half-amused. Bruce finished his phone call, and answered : 

“Why wouldn’t there be ?” 

“Um, are you a woman ?” 

“No, but my wife, who often come to this office, is.” 

“Jeez Louise Bruce, never pegged you to be such a simp haha ! Oh man, they’re even “organic”, how far can you go for one woman right ? Haha joking of course, or maybe..haha !” 

There was something in the tone Carlton took that brushed Bruce the wrong way. Something disrespectful and irritating. Not disrespectful to him, as if he cared to be called a “simp” (by a grown ass man by the way, which made it even more ridiculous). No. He didn’t care. But..This was his wife, they were talking about, in the end. 

“A...”simp” ? Because I have items who can be useful to my wife in my desk drawer ? A place in which she often comes, as I already said ?” 

His voice was cold, and Carlton definitely noticed. He always thought Bruce was an affable man, but sometimes...Sometimes he had something almost scary in his eyes. 

Ah, but Carlton wasn’t the kind of man to really take this things seriously. And he added : 

“Come on Bruce, don’t you think it’s a little ridiculous ?”

“No.” 

“I just think it’s funny you have a drawer full of those things.” 

“As I said, my wife comes by often, and might need it sometimes. I keep them here for her. It often came in handy you know.” 

“Don’t say that, that’s so gross.” 

“Why ?” 

“Just thinking about it.” 

“Just thinking about something my wife, but also yours by the way, have no control over ?” 

“My wife doesn’t- We just don’t talk about it.” 

“Well I guess yes. Or you wouldn’t react that way. Do you not take care of her when she has her periods ?” 

At the word “periods”, the man opened his eyes wide, which made your husband roll his. It truly TRULY baffled him that this dude was being grossed by OBJECTS and most likely didn’t take care of his wife ? How could you love someone and not want to comfort them ?! 

“Well, I don’t think she- I- She doesn’t - I ...It’s embarrassing, no ?”

“No.” 

“Well, maybe it’s not with your wife but with mine it has been. She asked me a few times to buy pads for her.” 

“Why would it be embarrassing ? I can assure you, nobody is going to think it’s for you.” 

Carlton’s face was steadily going red. He said : 

“It’s just something we don’t talk about.”

“Why not ?” 

“It’s just...gross and...” 

“Why is it gross though ? Why do you think that way ?” 

“I mean, you know what periods are right ?” 

“Of course I do. It’s something happening to a very large chunk of our population, and that is a natural phase in their life. Do you think your wife wants to have periods ? Most likely not. Mine definitely doesn’t. But she does. So I do keep pads and tampons here in case of an emergency, in case she has nothing else on her.” 

“Nothing else ?” 

“Do you think only pads and tampons exist for women’s periods ?” 

“I-”

“It’s not hard to read up on it a bit. Especially when someone as close as your own wife is a “victim” of it."

Awkard silence. Clearly, the man was uncomfortable. Bruce sighed, and said : 

“Just go take care of those papers.” 

Evidently relieved, his associate almost ran out of the room. 

Bruce kept thinking about how funny Carlton thought it was to have pads in his drawers. How he was about to mock him further before he got called out. “Simp”. If taking care of the woman he loved meant being a simp, then whatever. 

Bruce couldn’t stop thinking about his associate’s words. And it gave him an idea...

The next day, every newspapers and local news channel talked about how the (Y/N) Wayne Foundation gave millions of dollars to every school and public places in the country to provide free tampons and pads to women. And how Bruce Wayne became a huge advocate of the “period positivity” movement his wife started. 

“Periods shouldn’t be taboo.”, he said in his speech for the grand-opening of thousands and thousands of free pads distributors. 

When the kids are around. 

Dick 

Dick was little when he first witnessed what your periods did to you, and he downright panicked when you fainted in front of him while you two were shopping for Bruce’s birthday present ! 

That morning when you woke up, you knew you were going to have your periods. You always felt it in your bones, a little bit before it truly started...But you also promised little Dickie you’d help him chose a gift for your husband. 

You hated breaking your promises. Especially the one you made to your kid. He was just nine, and already experienced so many heartache...You couldn’t just break a promise you made to him, no matter what. 

So you went anyway, knowing there was a high chance you’d feel ill during the day. You were hoping, in fact, your periods wouldn’t truly start up until the evening, and so you could spend the day with your son. 

Alas...

“Mom ? Mom !? Someone help !!” 

Your fainting during your period never lasted long. Just a sudden drop of energy, feeling dizzy, and falling...you woke up fast. Opening your eyes to see your baby boy with tears in his eyes. You knew what happened, and reassured him immediately. 

You refused to call an ambulance, and instead called Alfred to ask if he could come pick you two up (you would NOT risk driving while in this state). 

And there you were, sitting on a bench with your son while waiting for Alfred who would be there as soon as it takes to get from Wayne Manor to Gotham’s City Center. 

“Are you sure you’re ok ?” 

“Yes, don’t worry, this is normal.”

“Fainting is not normal !” 

Dick looked so distressed...Should you tell him what was going on ? But he was such a young child. 

Ah. But you were amongst the people who thought that kids weren’t as stupid as many people thought. And that they could handle the truth, especially this kind of things. 

Understand what was happening to you would surely easy his mind. And make him understand, and act accordingly in the future. Wether with you, or a possible girlfriend ? 

So you do just that. 

You explain to him what is going on. You don’t give too many scientific details, but you explain as best you can so he understands. 

“And every women has it ?” 

“Every women have periods yes. But not everyone’s hurt.” 

“Why do yours hurt ?” 

“We don’t really know. I guess I wasn’t lucky ?”

“Scientists don’t know ?” 

“Well, research on it are rather recents to be honest.” 

“Why ? Women had it long ago too no ?” 

“Yes, but it was a little taboo.” 

“Why ?”

“Patriarchy.” 

“Oh, damn patriarchy.” 

You laugh. You knows he didn’t understand your answer, said as a joke to yourself. But it’s absolutely adorable how he immediately sides with you anyway. 

“When I grow up, I’ll be a scientist. So I can help.” 

“Ah, I thought you wanted to be an adventurer like Indiana Jones ? Or “whatever dad is doing I want to do it too” ?” 

“Well. I can do more than once things at the same time, right ?” 

“Sure you can. You can do anything.” 

He smiles at you, and get closer for a little cuddle. And that’s how Alfred finds you two, your son hugging you, and you hugging him back, on a bench in the streets... 

************

After the initial panic, Dick made it his mission to take care of you. He got really scared when he saw you faint, and would actually be a little...overbearing. 

When he knew you were on your periods, he’d literally forbid you to walk around, and would make sure you had everything you needed. 

His attentions, plus Bruce’s, made you feel like periods weren’t so bad in the end ? 

Even as a grown up, Dick would often come by the manor with your favorite cake, for example, when he knew you didn’t feel well. And he would still get strict with you if he saw you roaming around and getting too busy while he knew you were in pain. 

He’d do whatever you had to, for you. Wether it was cleaning things up, picking groceries...Running any errands for you, so you could rest. 

You were definitely grateful. Even if sometimes, you wish you could just tell him to ease up a bit...Ah. But how could you really ? 

The trauma Dick felt when loosing his parents made him overprotective and rather intransigeant. This was just how he was. And you always loved all your children unconditionally. You could take him being a bit too overprotective sometimes, because oh, oh he brought so much in your life...  

Jason 

You having really bad periods is the reason why when Jason, as a child or an adult, heard anyone say to a girl : “Jeez, why you so moody are you on your periods ?!”, would get mad. 

It was cute to see his little ten years old self lecture grown adults about it : “Periods are really tough on a girl ! It’s not their fault is they don’t feel well or have mood swings, be more empathetic !”. 

And it was still cute to see him as an adult glare at those who’d say this and give them a sermon about why it was wrong, and they better not say it again “or else” (and when a man like your son said the words “or else”, literally no one wanted to find out what he meant by it). 

Once, someone told him, sarcastically : 

“Wow, you drunk a lot of “respect women juice” huh ?” 

“What is that even suppose to mean ? I’m being a decent human being. You should try it sometimes. If respecting women is so foreign to you, that hearing me say what I said is funny and ridiculous, reassess your life mate.”

It’s really not like anyone really wanted to argue with your son. Besides the fact he was very tall, and as a vigilante definitely worked out a lot...he had a “dangerous” air about him. It was his eyes maybe, daring anyone to argue and making them understand he wouldn’t back down without a fight ? 

Ah. But if only people tried to look beyond that. If they only tried to know your son. 

They’d realize he’s the sweetest little buddy around.  

It surprised people that you still called him “little buddy” even as he was fast approaching his mid-twenties. But for you... 

For you he was still that little, sweet Jay he was before he died. The one that you could still see sometimes, behind all his anger, trauma and hurt. 

Ever since he was a child, Jason always felt everything more than anyone around him. He was an “hypersensitive” child. When he was angry, he was enraged. When he was happy, he was the happiest boy on Earth. When he was sad, it was hard to console him. 

When he grew up, and all those bad things happened to him...This trait of his got even more enhanced. It was sometimes hard to reach him under all those negative emotions...Yet. Yet you managed to do it. 

Bruce too...But that was another story. 

For now, you just always felt extremely proud that your son was actually not as harsh as some people thought (the same mistakes they all kept making about your husband...you hated this kind of assumptions). 

He always stood up for the underdogs. And was always respectful, and would voice his opinions. 

Like how he hated when people told women : “ugh are you on your periods ?!” if they were being just a tiny bit difficult (sometimes, not even). 

As a kid, Jason would worry a lot about you when you were on your periods. He hounded Bruce to know if you were ok, which your husband didn’t mind, of course. But he never quite dared to “bother you”. 

Of course, he would never bother you. But Jason was a complicated kid who always worried too much. He didn’t want to get in your way, or annoy you. 

So he had little quiet actions for you. 

Like getting your slippers warm when you’d wake up, by placing them near the radiators all night and putting them right beside your bed before you’d wake up. Or bringing you hot beverages. Baking your favorite treats, and leaving them in strategic places so you’d see it. Or scolding his dad when he thought he wasn’t taking care of you enough haha. 

Jason was a good kid. Nobody would ever change your mind on that. He was a good kid, to whom bad things happened. Yet he never strayed from his principles...No matter how people could see his recent actions. 

Jason was a good kid. 

He was your kid. 

As a child, he hated this week during which you had your periods. He dreaded them as much as you did. Just like Bruce, he had a hard time standing you being hurt...

As an adult. It was the same. And he still had little silent actions to make you feel better. To make your day easier. 

That was Jason for you. 

Such, such a good kid... 

Tim 

Tim, very much like his father, was a boy who needed to always have a plan, and to know everything before finding solutions. 

When you were on your periods, he’d always know. Because he kept a calendar about it. 

Some people might find it weird, but...Why ? He kept count of the days to know when you’d have your periods, so he could act accordingly. So he wouldn’t be caught off guard by one of your mood swings. And so he could take care of you ?? 

It was an act of care, to keep track of your periods. Sometimes, he even knew before you when you were going to have it. 

People who thought it was weird to kept such a calendar, were the same people who thought periods were gross and a taboo subject. 

Sure, it was definitely not very glamorous. But it was part of half of the World’s population life ?? Why keep it taboo and refusing to talk about it ? 

Tim immediately, just like his dad, did a lot of research on women’s menstruations...Which got you to be called in his principal’s office once. 

The man was worried, and unhappy that your son was reading a magazine “for woman” about “menstruations”, he thought the topic was vulgar and inappropriate. 

Your son was 13. Which was also the age many of his girl friends were experiencing their first periods. And that principal was out there, scolding him because he talked about it, making an entire generation of little girls thinking they were wrong for having periods ? 

Needless to say, you got rather mad. And the principle never called you ever again (if he had to call, he was always making sure to get your husband on the line, and not you).

And so Tim kept learning everything possible about it, in the hope also to find the perfect remedies to ease your pain. He tried a lot, to help you out. Gave tricks to Bruce, too. 

And so, kept a calendar. 

This allowed him to know if something was wrong, as well. 

He was the first one to guess you were pregnant with Thomas, because of his calendar. And one time, you had hormonal problems and he’s the one that told you you should check an endocrinologist because you’d been too irregular with your periods time ! 

Yes. Just like his dad, Tim needed to know a situation fully before acting. And seeing him trying to know as much as he could in order to help you was...why, it was the most adorable thing in the world. 

Cass

Cass’ periods were not painful, and you were so glad for her. 

To her, it was a mild annoyance, there was no pain, it was just irritating. And yes, she had mood swings and could easily get mad, but it was nothing major. 

She never even knew other women could have it so bad...The education about periods was really lacking ! They never talked about it anywhere ! 

Cass was a woman of few words...but she knew how to pass her emotions through her body language. Oh, how she knew. 

“Momma.” 

Just like your other kids, she’d come check on you when Bruce couldn’t take care of you. You wanted space sometimes, which they all understood. But honestly, during your periods, when you were so sensitive about everything ? You also wanted them around almost all the time. 

A paradox. Very fitting of those damn periods time. 

Cass would just sit with you, and make sure you were comfortable. She wouldn’t say a word. Lay her head on your shoulder, and hold your hand. Watch movies with you. Hold you close. 

She was delicate with you, as if afraid to break you. 

Just like your husband, her presence had a soothing effect ? As if nothing bad could ever happen to you as long as she was there (and that probably was right, Cassandra would never let anyone touch her “momma”).

She didn’t need to talk. She didn’t need to do anything more than stay with you when you didn’t want to be alone. 

She never experienced the pain you had, but if even to her, who had painless periods, it was annoying and a damn plague ? Then to you... 

She didn’t need to do much. 

Just her being there already meant a lot. 

Her holding onto you, even as she stayed afraid of anyone’s touch for so long. 

“Momma.” 

Cassandra was your only daughter. And oh you were glad her periods weren’t as bad as yours. That’s all that really mattered to you. 

“Momma.” 

You often fell asleep with the warmth of your kiddo right there. Next to you. Knowing she wasn’t going to leave unless you wanted to. Knowing she wish she could take your pain on. 

Ah. But no. No even if it was possible you’d never allow that. You were the mom. YOU were supposed to take their pains on. 

And knowing that Cass never suffered on her periods as bad as you did, was enough. After all, your baby suffered enough in the past...She could get a little lucky, right ? 

“Momma.” 

That word was music to your hear. Cass’ first word to you. 

She didn’t need to talk anyway. Being here was enough...

It was more than enough. 

Damian 

Everyone who saw Damian around you would notice that he wasn’t quite the same boy than "normally”. 

He was calmer, nicer, and sweeter. 

You’d argue that it was his real self. That this was his “normal”. That he was just never allowed to show his true heart before, and wasn’t used to trust others and open up. And you were definitely more than happy that he finally managed to do that after arriving into your home. 

That none of you ever gave up on him. 

You especially had a calming effect on him. After all, he never had a “conventional” mom, who could take care of him when he was sick, kiss him good night and make sure he always had everything he needed. 

Some would say you coddled him too much...And you didn’t care. Because that boy lived 10 years being the opposite of coddled. So what, if you’d cut the crust off of his sandwiches, or read him bed time stories every single night ? 

Damian loved it. As he often said, being a momma’s boy was “hardly something he was ashamed of”. He never felt loved and safe before, you bet he’d take every chance he got to be cared for. 

He never got to act like an actual kid. You allowed him to do just that, AND you made him feel like he belonged. Finally. Like he had an actual family. 

So...The day he heard about your absolutely awful periods, what did he do ? 

Every single day of your life with him, you had at least one nice intention to him. Wether it was baking his favorite cookies, or telling him how proud you were of him, you always had nothing but kindness for him, often going out of your way for your son. 

It was normal for you. Of course. And you did it with all your children...but you had to admit maybe Damian had just a little more of it, because he really never had anything like that to him. 

And to him, it only felt normal then, when you felt at your worst, that he’d be there for you exactly like you were there for him. 

During any mood swings, he’d have comforting words for you. He had little attentions for you that just made life easier. 

Again, it would greatly surprise anyone but his family, but when you had your periods, he did a lot of overly sappy little things. 

Like for example : every month, he wrote seven things he found extraordinary about you and would put them in a jar. Seven. The number of day in a week. And usually the number of day, give or take, your periods would last. 

The jar would be sitting right on your bedside table on the first day, with the indications you had to read one paper every morning, or every time you felt down (it was supposed to be one paper a day). Sometimes, you’d go through his seven messages in less than a day...and magically, the next day, the jar would be filled again. 

Damian made sure of it. 

This was just a small example. But it showed exactly what kind of boy your son really was. 

If he was heartless, a killer, someone destined to destroy the World...would he really put that much effort into making you feel love ? Into making you feel better any way he could ? 

You didn’t think so. The only way your son could ever “turn bad”, was if you (and Bruce) stopped caring for him. Left him alone (A/N : this is a CLEAR jab at current comics canon, if you know what I mean :I ). Only if he felt abandoned, unloved, and rejected. 

You knew your boy had, just like you, “rejection dysphoria”. It was hard for him to accept any kind of rejection, and it made him act out and hurt. But that was another story... 

Right now, all that mattered to you, is that you knew your son was always going to be there for you, just like you’d always be there for him. 

That he finally learned how to love, and care. That he would never unlearn it, as long as you lived. 

Your periods sucked. 

So bad. 

But Damian was a ray of light in the darkness of those seven dreaded days...

Duke 

Duke’s mom also had endometriosis. 

Over the years, he perfected a “special remedy” he always made her when she had her periods. 

He hesitated to make it for you. After all, it was something that made him bond greatly with his own mom...was making it for you, now, acceptable ? Did it mean he forgot about his mother ? 

No. No of course not. 

Duke scolded himself for even thinking that. You too, became his mom. He learned over the years that it was ok, to have two mom. That when they’ll find a cure for his parents, it wouldn’t take away the years you filled in for the mother role, and took care of Duke as if he was your own. 

So here we go. 

Some ginger. Some lemon. A dash of his little secret ingredients. Your favorite blend of tea. And it was done. 

He brought it to you, saying it always soothed his mom...

And just that. 

Just those words. It meant so much. 

“It always used to soothe my mom. Used to do it all the time, ever since I was five !” 

He said with a smile. 

It was something he used to do for his mom, and now he did it for you. Just this. Just that fact, it was enough to make you feel better. 

It didn’t take away the pain, but mentally ? It felt amazing. 

You drunk his concoction and...Oh god. 

Oh god it was disgusting. And...Ah. Yes. His mom probably pretended she liked it. “Ever since I was five !”. Ha. So cute. But also, it really was gross. 

At the same time, you felt a pleasant warmth spread through your body as the terrible aftertaste slowly faded. Duke smiled to you, and with a little mischief in his voice said : 

“It’s really gross, isn’t it ? But it does the trick haha” 

There was a few seconds of silence. During which you blinked at him, not quite registering what he just said. Until... 

You burst out laughing. The little mischievous smile, and the way he said “it’s really gross, isn’t it ?” was just too funny. 

Your communicative laugh spread to Duke, and as he laughs it makes you laugh even louder too and...You forget. 

For a moment you forget about your periods. The pain. The anguish. The emotional labor. This damn week of hell. 

You forget.

And you just laugh. 

You laugh alongside your son. 

Thomas (if you wonder who the H is Thomas, you can check my “Batmom” masterlists, he appears from the story “the great mall adventure” ^^)

Thomas must’ve been about four, when he first saw you having your periods. 

Your littlest baby was also one of the most sensitive out of them all (right along with Jason, the two of them cried their eyes out when they watched “Inside Out” and Bing Bong disappeared). Bruce always said he took that after you. And honestly, you couldn’t disagree. It’s true you could be very sensitive. 

So one morning, when he woke up and went to breakfast and heard you weren’t feeling right, he immediately went to you and...

Bruce found him an hour later, crying in his room. 

“Oh wow hey hey, what is it buddy ?” 

He asked, trying to hide the panic in his voice. Thomas might’ve been sensitive, but he rarely cried. He was just a very empathetic boy. But also a cheerful one, and he had a knack to see the good even in the worst situations. 

So seeing him sob like that, made Bruce’s heart drop. 

“Is mommy going to die ?!” 

It took Bruce a few seconds to get a hold of his racing heart. His son crying. And asking if you were going to die. It shortcircuited his brain for a few seconds. Until he realized what Thomas was talking about...

“Oh, oh no champ, no, mommy isn’t going to die.” 

Your kids were used to see you strong and fierce. Of course the first time your little one would see you on your period, he’d think something big was wrong.

He had just recently learned what death really mean (you can read about this here : The day he understand what Death means), and since then was so scared it’d happen to his parents. Or his siblings. Or anyone he knew, really... 

Picking up his son and slowly and softly tapping his back in soothing circles, he walked around the room and rocked him until the boy calmed down a bit, before trying to explain as best he could why mommy felt bad, without going in in too many details. 

Once Thomas understood this was just like when he got a fever that time, that it would pass, he felt much better. But also worst. Because his mommy wasn’t feeling well ! And it happened often ! 

Bruce reassured him that there were ways they could help you...And soooo : 

Thomas brought you hot water bottles, with the help of his dad (the bottles were almost as big as him), and ended up falling asleep  on one as it laid on your belly (he heard that humans’ body heat was very strong and wanted to “help the hot water bottle”). 

The water in the bottle became cold, and you removed it..Your son didn’t woke up, so you laid him back down on your belly. And he was warm and so tiny, and you loved him so much...It made you feel like the luckiest woman in the world, to be surrounded by people like this little one. 

And all your kids. Alfred. Your friends. Broosh...You fell asleep with sweet dreams made of warmth and cuddles. 

Not long after, Bruce came by to check on you, finding both you and Tommy deeply asleep and...An overwhelming feeling of happiness took him over. 

You weren’t the only one feeling lucky. Except for Bruce...For Bruce it was even stronger, because after his parents died, he never thought he would be happy ever again. 

This was why he’d always be there for you. You gave him another family... 

His schedule was freed, and he had a busy day. A nap sounded perfect. Especially while nestled against you, with his little one right there. 

Dick came by in the afternoon, and found all of you like this. Bruce holding both you and his son, Thomas taking way more space than such a small body would make you thing he’d take. 

Dick snapped a picture, and send it to the group chat he had with his siblings and some other close friends and such (like Clark, Wally, Conner, Diana etc etc they used the group chat to gossip about Bruce, mainly). With the caption : “Big bad bat tamed by a four year old”. 

Cass send multiple hearteyes emojis. Jason said it was adorable and send a crying emoji, and didn’t care one bit what anyone would think of him saying such things. Damian yelled at Dick that he should’ve put the comforter back up on his baby brother and mom because it wasn’t properly put on !! Duke send a : “I’m downloading that picture for the next time he gets mad at us and we need to soften him up”. Tim replied with a gif of Maes Hughes from Full Metal Alchemist saying : “dis dad”. Clark said “they look so peaceful, you wouldn’t believe he threatened me just yesterday to punch me because I made a joke” to which Diana answered : “that joke was so bad I wanted to punch you to. Cute pic btw, give kisses to Tommy for me, you should come see me more, I just stocked my freezer with nothing but ice creams”..Everyone send a little comment about it. 

Because even superheroes, could have normal conversations about those they love. 

Suffering alone is a thing of the past

It’s funny. You couldn’t even remember, now, what it felt like “before”. 

Before. 

Before you met Bruce.

Before that first time he showed up to your apartment to take care of you. 

How were your periods before that ? The worst. 

Definitely. 

Actual Hell.

Not that they were feeling better now. Oh no. There were time your overdramatic self exclaimed : “uuuugh just kill me alreadyyyy” when the pain was too grand...But you weren’t alone anymore. 

That’s what made it a bearable moment of the month. 

It still felt as bad as it used to when you were younger. 

But it wasn’t just you agonizing in your bedroom all alone anymore. 

It wasn’t you wishing you’d have someone to take care of you, and to try and ease the pain. Not anymore. 

It wasn’t you crying with nobody to dry your tears anymore...

No. You had an entire army of people right there just for you. 

Alfred, your children, and most of all...Bruce. 

Your Broosh. 

Ah. If only some people could see this side of him you and your family knew. The caring and loving one. In a way though, it was rather comforting and made you feel special, that only you and your kiddos knew the real Bruce ? 

Of course  nowadays, some of his closest friends like Clark and Diana weren’t fooled anymore either. But they’d never see him the way you did, when you were in unbearable pain, and he was right there, drawing soothing circle on your back, keeping you warm and safe... 

This was only privy to you. 

Your Broosh. 

Yes. 

Your periods were still as painful as they used to. But now...

Now you weren’t alone anymore. 

The end. 

________________________________________________

Hey guys ! I hope you liked this :). As usual, feedbacks and reblogs are always welcomed ! (Especially lately, the reblog ratio seems at its worst haha). And again, I really hope you liked this. I was finally able to sit down and write after weeks of  being stuck in a depressed mood, so I’m quite excited about sharing this. But as usual, always a bit nervous that you’ll be disappointed blahblahblah low self-esteem and all that haha... :). I just hope this is to your liking. Thank you.  

[lokiondisneyplus]

'Loki' takes over: Tom Hiddleston on his new TV series and a decade in the MCU

Ten years after Hiddleston first chose chaos in Thor, Marvel’s fan favorite God of Mischief is going even bigger with his time-bending Disney+ show.

Tom Hiddleston is Loki, and he is burdened with glorious purpose: After playing Thor's puckish brother for over a decade in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, no one understands the mercurial Asgardian God of Mischief as well as the actor. He can teach an entire seminar on Loki if given the opportunity — which he actually did during pre-production on his forthcoming Disney+ show. In conversation, Hiddleston quotes lines from his MCU debut, 2011's Thor, almost verbatim, and will playfully correct you if you mistakenly refer to Asgard's Rainbow Bridge as the Bifrost, which is the portal that connects Loki and Thor's homeworld to the Nine Realms, including Midgard, a.k.a. Earth. "Well, the Bifrost technically is the energy that runs through the bridge," he says with a smile. "But nine points to Gryffindor!" And when he shows up to the photo shoot for this very digital cover, he hops on a call with our photo editor to pitch ways the concept could be even more Loki, like incorporating the flourish the trickster does whenever magically conjuring something. The lasting impression is that playing Loki isn't just a paycheck.

"Rather than ownership, it's a sense of responsibility I feel to give my best every time and do the best I can because I feel so grateful to be a part of what Marvel Studios has created," the 40-year-old Brit tells EW over Zoom a few days after the shoot and a week out from Thor's 10th anniversary. "I just want to make sure I've honored that responsibility with the best that I can give and the most care and thought and energy."

After appearing in three Thor movies and three Avengers, Hiddleston is bringing that passion to his first solo Marvel project, Loki, the House of Ideas' third Disney+ series following the sitcom pastiche WandaVision and the topical The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. Led by head writer Michael Waldron (Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, Heels), the six-episode drama sees Hiddleston's shapeshifting agent of chaos step out from behind his brother's shadow and into the spotlight for a timey-wimey, sci-fi adventure that aims to get to the bottom of who Loki really is. "I wanted to explore slightly more complex character questions," says Waldron. "It's not just good versus bad. Is anybody all good? Is anybody all bad? What makes a hero, a hero? A villain, a villain?"  

Even though Loki — who loves sowing mayhem with his illusion magic and shapeshifting, all with a major chip on his shoulder — has never been one for introspection, the idea of building an entire show around him was a no-brainer for Marvel. When asked why Loki was one of the studio's first Disney+ shows, Marvel president Kevin Feige replies matter-of-factly, "More Hiddleston, more Loki." First introduced as Thor's (Chris Hemsworth) envious brother in Kenneth Branagh's Thor, Loki went full Big Bad in 2012's The Avengers. That film cemented the impish rogue as one of the shared universe's fan favorites, thanks to Hiddleston's ability to make him deliciously villainous yet charismatic and, most importantly, empathetic. The character's popularity is one of the reasons he's managed to avoid death many times.

"He's been around for thousands of years. He had all sorts of adventures," says Feige. "Wanting to fill in the blanks and see much more of Loki's story [was] the initial desire [for the series]."

The Loki we meet on the show is not the one who fought the Avengers in 2012 and evolved into an antihero in Thor: The Dark World and Thor: Ragnarok before meeting his demise at the hands of the mad titan Thanos (Josh Brolin) in 2018's Avengers: Infinity War. Instead, we'll be following a Loki from a branched timeline (a variant, if you will) after he stole the Tesseract following his thwarted New York invasion and escaped S.H.I.E.L.D. custody during the time heist featured in Avengers: Endgame. In other words, this Loki hasn't gone through any sort of redemption arc. He's still the charming yet petulant god who firmly believes he's destined to rule and has never gotten his due.

Premiering June 9, Loki begins with the Time Variance Authority — a bureaucratic organization tasked with safeguarding the proper flow of time — arresting the Loki Variant seen in Endgame because they want his help fixing all of the timeline problems he caused while on the run with the Tesseract. So there will be time travel, and a lot more of it than in Endgame. As Loki makes his way through his own procedural, he'll match wits with new characters including Owen Wilson's Agent Mobius, a brilliant TVA analyst, and Gugu Mbatha-Raw's Judge Renslayer. The question in early episodes is whether Loki will help them or take over.

"One of the things Kevin Feige led on was, 'I think we should find a way of exploring the parts of Loki that are independent of his relationship with Thor,' or see him in a duality or in relationship with others, which I thought was very exciting," says Hiddleston, who also serves as an executive producer on the show. "So the Odinson saga, that trilogy of films, still has its integrity, and we don't have to reopen it and retell it."

Yet, in order to understand where Loki is going, it's important to see where he came from.

Hiddleston can't believe how long he and Loki have been connected. "I've been playing this character for 11 years," he says. "Which is the first time I have said that sentence, I realize, and it [blows] my mind. I don't know what percentage that is exactly of my 40 years of being alive, but it's substantial."

His time as Loki actually goes a bit further back, to 2009 — a year after Robert Downey Jr. big banged the MCU into existence with Iron Man — when he auditioned for Thor. It's no secret that Hiddleston initially went in for the role of the titular God of Thunder, but Feige and director Kenneth Branagh thought his natural charm and flexibility as an actor made him better suited for the movie's damaged antagonist. "Tom gave you an impression that he could be ready for anything, performance-wise," says Branagh, who had previously worked with him on a West End revival of Checkov's Ivanov and the BBC series Wallander. "Tom has a wild imagination, so does Loki. He's got a mischievous sense of humor and he was ready to play. It felt like he had a star personality, but he was a team player."

Hiddleston fully immersed himself in the character. Outside of studying Loki's history in the Marvel Comics, he also researched how Loki and the Trickster God archetype appeared across mythology and different cultures. "He understood that he was already in something special [and] it was a special character in a special part of that early moment in the life of the Marvel universe where [he] also needed to step up in other ways," says Branagh, who was impressed by the emotional depth Hiddleston brought to the part, especially when it came to how isolated Loki felt in the Asgardian royal family.  

There was a lot riding on that first Thor feature. For one, no one knew if audiences would immediately latch onto a Shakespearean superhero movie partially set on an alien planet populated by the Norse Gods of legend. Second, it was integral to Feige's plans for the shared universe. Loki was supposed to be the main villain in The Avengers, which would not only mirror how Earth's mightiest heroes joined forces in 1963's Avengers #1 but also give Thor a believable reason for teaming up with Iron Man, Captain America (Chris Evans), and the rest of the capes. Feige first clued Hiddleston into those larger plans when the actor was in L.A. before Thor started shooting.

"I was like, 'Excuse me?' Because he was already three, four steps ahead," says Hiddleston. "That took me a few minutes to process, because I didn't quite realize how it just suddenly had a scope. And being cast as Loki, I realized, was a very significant moment for me in my life, and was going to remain. The creative journey was going to be so exciting."

Hiddleston relished the opportunity to go full villain in Avengers, like in the scene where Loki ordered a crowd to kneel before him outside a German opera house: "It's the unspoken truth of humanity, that you crave subjugation," says the Machiavellian god. "The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life's joy in a mad scramble for power, for identity. You were made to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel."

"I just knew that in the structure of that film, I had to lean into his role as a pure antagonist," Hiddleston recalls. "What I always found curious and complex about the way Loki is written in Avengers, is that his status as an antagonist comes from the same well of not belonging and being marginalized and isolated in the first Thor film. Loki now knows he has no place in Asgard."

Loki did find a place within the audience's hearts, though. Feige was "all in" on Hiddleston as his Loki from the beginning, but even he couldn't predict how much fans would love him. Feige recalls the reaction at the 2013 San Diego Comic-Con: "Did we know that after he was the villain in two movies, he would be bringing thousands of people to their feet in Hall H, in costume, chanting his name? No, that was above and beyond the plan that we were hoping for and dreaming of." It was a dream Feige first got an inkling of a year earlier during the Avengers press tour when a Russian fan slipped past security, snuck into Mark Ruffalo's car, and asked the Hulk actor to give Hiddleston a piece of fan art she created. "That was one of the early signs there was much more happening with this quote-unquote villain."  

Despite that popularity, the plan was to kill Loki off in 2013's Thor: The Dark World, but the studio reversed course after test audiences refused to believe he actually died fighting the Dark Elves. Alas, he couldn't out-illusion death forever. After returning in Taika Waititi's colorful and idiosyncratic Thor: Ragnarok, Hiddleston's character perished for real in the opening moments of Infinity War. In typical Loki fashion, before Thanos crushed his windpipe, he delivered a defiant speech that indicated he'd finally made peace with the anger he felt toward his family.  

"It felt very, very final, and I thought, 'Okay, that's it. This is Loki's final bow and a conclusive end to the Odinson saga,'" says Hiddleston, who shot that well-earned death scene in 2017.  

But, though he didn't know it yet, the actor's MCU story was far from over.

Credit: Charlie Gray for EW

When Hiddleston returned to film two scenes in Avengers: Endgame in 2017, he had no idea where Loki portaled off to after snatching the Tesseract. "Where'd he go? When does he go? How does he get there? These are all questions I remember asking on the day, and then not being given any answers," Hiddleston recalls. To be fair, it's likely the Powers That Be didn't necessarily have answers then. While Feige can't exactly recall when the writers' room for Endgame first devised Loki's escape sequence, he does know that setting up a future show wasn't the primary goal — because a Loki series wasn't on the horizon just yet.

"[That scene] was really more of a wrinkle so that one of the missions that the Avengers went on in Endgame could get screwed up and not go well, which is what required Cap and Tony to go further back in time to the '70s," says Feige. Soon after that, though, former Disney CEO Bob Iger approached Feige about producing content for the studio's forthcoming streaming service. "I think the notion that we had left this hanging loose end with Loki gave us the in for what a Loki series could be. So by the time [Endgame] came out, we did know where it was going."

As for Hiddleston, he didn't find out about the plans for a Loki show until spring 2018, a few weeks before Infinity War hit theaters. "I probably should not have been surprised, but I was," says the actor. "But only because Infinity War had felt so final."

Nevertheless, Hiddleston was excited about returning for his show. He was eager to explore Loki's powers, especially the shapeshifting, and what it meant that this disruptive figure still managed to find a seat beside the gods in mythology. "I love this idea [of] Loki's chaotic energy somehow being something we need. Even though, for all sorts of reasons, you don't know whether you can trust him. You don't know whether he's going to betray you. You don't why he's doing what he's doing," says Hiddleston. "If he's shapeshifting so often, does he even know who he is? And is he even interested in understanding who he is? Underneath all those masks, underneath the charm and the wit, which is kind of a defense anyway, does Loki have an authentic self? Is he introspective enough or brave enough to find out? I think all of those ideas are all in the series — ideas about identity, ideas about self-knowledge, self-acceptance, and the difficulty of it."

“The series will explore Loki's powers in a way they have not yet been explored, which is very, very exciting.”

The thing that truly sold Hiddleston on the show was Marvel's decision to include the Time Variance Authority, a move he describes as "the best idea that anybody had pertaining to the series." Feige and Loki executive producer Stephen Broussard had hoped to find a place for the TVA — an organization that debuted in 1986's Thor #372 and has appeared in She-Hulk and Fantastic Four stories — in the MCU for years, but the right opportunity never presented itself until Loki came along. "Putting Loki into his own procedural series became the eureka moment for the show," says Feige.  

The TVA's perspective on time and reality also tied into the themes that Waldron, Loki's head writer, was hoping to explore. "Loki is a character that's always reckoning with his own identity, and the TVA, by virtue of what they do, is uniquely suited to hold up a mirror to Loki and make him really confront who he is and who he was supposed to be," says Waldron. Hiddleston adds: "[That] was very exciting because in the other films, there was always something about Loki that was very controlled. He seemed to know exactly what the cards in his hand were and how he was going to play them…. And Loki versus the TVA is Loki out of control immediately, and in an environment in which he's completely behind the pace, out of his comfort zone, destabilized, and acting out."

To truly dig into who Loki is, the creative team had to learn from the man who knows him best: Hiddleston. "I got him to do a thing called Loki School when we first started," says director Kate Herron. "I asked him to basically talk through his 10 years of the MCU — from costumes to stunts, to emotionally how he felt in each movie. It was fantastic."

Hiddleston got something out of the Loki school, too. Owen Wilson both attended the class and interviewed Hiddleston afterward so that he could better understand Loki, as his character Mobius is supposed to be an expert on him. During their conversation, Wilson pointedly asked Hiddleston what he loved about playing the character.

"And I said, 'I think it's because he has so much range,'" says Hiddleston. "I remember saying this to him: 'On the 88 keys on the piano, he can play the twinkly light keys at the top. He can keep it witty and light, and he's the God of Mischief, but he can also go down to the other side and play the heavy keys. And he can play some really profound chords down there, which are about grief and betrayal and loss and heartbreak and jealousy and pride.'" Hiddleston recalls Wilson being moved by the description: "He said, 'I think I might say that in the show.' And it was such a brilliant insight for me into how open Owen is as an artist and a performer.'"

Owen Wilson as Mobius and Tom Hiddleston as Loki in 'Loki.'| Credit: Chuck Zlotnick/Marvel Studios

Everyone involved is particularly excited for audiences to see Hiddleston and Wilson's on-screen chemistry. "Mobius is not unlike Owen Wilson in that he's sort of nonplussed by the MCU," says Feige. "[Loki] is used to getting a reaction out of people, whether it's his brother or his father, or the other Avengers. He likes to be very flamboyant and theatrical. Mobius doesn't give him the reaction he's looking for. That leads to a very unique relationship that Loki's not used to."

As for the rest of the series, we know that Loki will be jumping around time and reality, but the creative team isn't keen on revealing when and where. "Every episode, we tried to take inspiration from different things," says Waldron, citing Blade Runner's noir aesthetic as one example.

"Part of the fun of the multiverse and playing with time is seeing other versions of characters, and other versions of the titular character in particular," says Feige, who also declined to confirm if Loki ties into Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness and/or other upcoming projects.

Making Loki was especially meaningful to Hiddleston because they shot most of it during the pandemic, in late 2020. "It will remain one of the absolute most intense, most rewarding experiences of my life," he says. "It's a series about time, and the value of time, and what time is worth, and I suppose what the experience of being alive is worth. And I don't quite know yet, and maybe I don't have perspective on it, if all the thinking and the reflecting that we did during the lockdown ended up in the series. But in some way, it must have because everything we make is a snapshot of where we were in our lives at that time."

While it remains to be seen what the future holds for Loki beyond this initial season, Hiddleston isn't preparing to put the character to bed yet. "I'm open to everything," he says. "I have said goodbye to the character. I've said hello to the character. I said goodbye to the character [again]. I've learned not to make assumptions, I suppose. I'm just grateful that I'm still here, and there are still new roads to explore."

[wasted-headspace-98]

Cataegis: Part III

Summary: An apprentice to the famed Mace Windu, your master has made sure you are strong with the Force. But, sometimes the Force has other plans. And you happen to be caught in the middle of them. Rating: 18+ Warnings: Nonexplicit sexual content, slow-burn, noncon elements (non explicit), underage elements (non explicit), inappropriate use of the force, etc Pairing: Sith!Obi-Wan x Reader Masterlist

Cataegis (n.) Latin word meaning tempestuous storm

Part I Part II

Power.

That’s what he felt.

There was no denying the waves of it that rolled off of you. It…confused him if he was being honest. He tried to make sense of it all, but there were so many factors to consider that it sent him reeling.

He sighed and rubbed his temple, sitting back on his heels. He hadn’t felt that much power from anyone aside from Anakin. The thought made him frown. During his time training Skywalker, he could sense the turbulent emotions within him. It was like a raging storm that held no end in sight. His Padawan allowed his emotions to guide him. Looking back, he realized that he should have seen the signs and snuffed them out sooner. But, he digresses.

There was no use in dwelling on things stuck in the past.

But you were right there. In front of him, and in the present.

He couldn’t figure out what the point was in the Force binding the two of you together. It was a puzzle that he didn’t have all the pieces to. And it frustrated him to no end.

She’s not a sentinel, that’s for sure, he thought to himself. So why does she conduct herself as one?

From what he knew about the training of temple Sentinels, you had gone through no such thing. In fact, it was incredibly rare for one of them to take a Padawan learner. The Sentinel duty seemed to be ingrained in a youngling from the day they discovered the Force. But there was something different about you.

“Master,”

He opened his eyes, turning to look at his former Padawan. “Anakin,” he greeted. He inclined his head, his golden eyes seeming to pierce the soul of the Lord approaching him. “What is it?”

“I sense a disturbance.” Anakin said with a frown. His long hair framed his face and blew in the gentle breeze. “And it’s powerful.”

Cataegis hummed in response, nodding quietly. “She is,” he muttered quietly.

Anakin arched his eyebrow, part of it marred by the scar that adorned the side of his face. “She?”

Cataegis let out a chuckle. “Yes, she.” He was loathe to the fact that he didn’t have a name to put to your infuriatingly beautiful face. “She’s becoming a rather annoying thorn in my side.”

Anakin snorted and crossed his arms. “What do you plan on doing about it.”

The blond Sith pursed his lips as he thought. Truth be told, he didn’t know. There were too many unknown factors for him to run headlong into this without a plan. He knew Anakin was usually the one to do so, but spending so much time with his former apprentice seemed to be rubbing off on him. “I…don’t know.” he admitted.

“Let me hunt her-“

“No!” Cataegis snarled at Anakin and threw him backwards, his hold tight on the other man’s throat with the Force.

Anakin grunted as his back hit the wall and he clawed at his throat momentarily before realizing his Master had full control of his body.

“You will not,” he hissed.

“Seems like you’ve found a new pet,” Anakin choked, trying to struggle against the hold Cataegis had on him.

He growled, the sound reverberating through his chest and his eyes narrowing in a primal rage. “Touch her, and you’ll have one less hand to worry about,” he snarled. “She’s not a bantha for you to hunt for sport. She’s someone more powerful than either you or me. And Force help you if I find out you’ve disobeyed me.” He let Anakin go with another growl, and the former Jedi fell to his hands and knees as he tried to suck in large breaths.

“You’ve gotten rather attached,” Anakin said as he pulled himself to his feet.

Cataegis scowled at his former apprentice. “Have care how you speak, Vader. You never know when you’re going to push me too far.”

Anakin rolled his eyes, but the threat gave him pause. Cataegis only used his Sith title when he was extremely upset with him, which wasn’t often. There must have been something awfully special about this woman for him to be so on edge. “Very well,” he said, inclining his head and acknowledging Cataegis. “But is this going to be a problem?

The former Jedi let out a huff of annoyance. “I don’t know.” he said. “There seems to be a lot about this woman that I don’t know. And I don’t like it.”

“All the more reason we need to find out who she is.”

A low rumble came from Cataegis�� chest, a hum of agreement. “True. But I don’t want you doing anything to scare her off. She’s already on edge enough as it is.”

Anakin raised an eyebrow. “Since when have you been concerned about whether someone is scared?” he asked.

Cataegis gave him another warning look. “Since the Padawan I’ve connected with is barely more than sixteen,” he snapped. “Her mind is still malleable, and there’s still a chance I can undo everything that the Jedi have taught her. But if you go scaring her off like that, there’s no telling how she’ll react. We have a difficult enough time as it is. The last thing I need is for you to tear down any work I manage to accomplish with this youngling.”

“Do you really think you’ll be able to turn her?”

He paused for a moment, thinking it over. He could sense the turmoil and fear within you. There was confusion, doubt, and surprisingly, anger. At what, he couldn’t be sure. But it surprised him nonetheless. He could sense the disturbance in your mind. If he really tried, he didn’t think it would take much for him to sway you. “I believe so,” he said, rubbing his beard as he continued to think. “I’m going to Coruscant.”

“What?!”

“Are you questioning my decision?”

“Of course I am!” Anakin defended. “You’ve absolutely lost your mind! Yoda will know as soon as you step foot on that planet. There’s know way you’ll be able to get past all of them without getting arrested. Or killed.”

Cataegis sighed and shook his head. “Such little faith, Anakin.”

~*~*~*~

After what happened with Windu, you’d been avoiding your master like the plague. He understood that you would need your space, and he left you to your own devices. For the most part, anyway.

At least he did until Yoda came looking for you.

He found you in one of the many training rooms within the temple. You’d been going at a program of Darth Maul for several hours, at least. The hologram was giving you quite the workout, you had to admit. And you could land blows and slice it to pieces without actually hurting any of your fellow padawans in a sparring session. You knew the emotions raging within you would cause a disturbance, but at that point, you didn’t care.

You didn’t understand what was happening, much less why it was happening to you of all people.

Cataegis’ golden Sith eyes stared at you every time you closed your eyes. You could feel his presence looming over you. It was as if he were right beside you the entire time.

And it unsettled you.

“Hmm…sense your anger, I do.”

You jumped at the sound of the voice that interrupted your training session. You turned on your heel and thrust out your hand. A wave of powerful force energy flew from your palm and rushed towards Yoda. Your eyes widened when you realized who it was. “Master Yoda!” you exclaimed. He saw your reaction coming before you even acted. He quickly jumped out of the way, somersaulting in the air and landing behind you in the training area.

“Mean to scare you, I did not. Sorry, I am, Padawan.” He tilted his head to the side and watched you visibly deflate. The lightsabers in your hand retreated back to their durasteel handles and you quietly hung them on your belt.

“It’s alright, Master.” you replied. “I didn’t mean to attack you.”

He let out the quiet chuckle you knew so well and shook his head. “Conflicted, you are. Resolve your issues, you must.”

You felt like throwing your hands in the air. “How do I do that, Master?” you asked. “I don’t understand what’s happening to me.”

Master Yoda hummed quietly and observed as you took up a meditation position before him. “Explain what is happening, you will.” You arched an eyebrow. You’d figured that Windu had told the Council everything that was happening with you. It would make sense for him to do so. After all, from what he said, it was highly unusual for something like this to happen. Sensing your hesitation, Yoda shook his head. “Tell the Council the details, Master Windu did not. However, like to help you, I would.”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. You couldn’t help the flinch that took over your shoulders when you saw his eyes staring back at you.

There’s no need to be scared, little one. His deep voice soothed. I’ll soon be with you.

You let out a gasp and opened your eyes. Yoda almost recoiled when he saw the red and gold brimming your normally bright irises.

A chuckle that wasn’t your own echoed through your head and his voice spoke once again, this time a fading whisper. Have no fear, my young apprentice. I won’t hurt you. Yet.

“Hear his voice again, you have?”

You swallowed the fear that lumped in your throat and nodded. “Yes,” you admitted.

He hummed in thought and readjusted his hold on the cane before settling himself in front of you. “Get to the bottom of this, we will. First, discover what this bond is, we must.”

The lights of the training room began to fade away as you closed your eyes and began a light meditation. You’d done something similar with Mace in the past, and you assumed Yoda would want to see exactly what it was that you saw. You were willing to show him, but that didn’t mean you had to like the invasion it would bring into your mind.

But you pushed those feelings aside and opened your mind to him. Everything came rushing forward and you let it.

Everything you were feeling pushed itself towards Yoda. And you didn’t try to stop it. All of your emotions bubbled over the surface and came spewing out like a volcano.

The waves crashed against the edges of your mental shielding, and you didn’t want to hold them back anymore.

What’s happening little one? I can feel your pain from here!

There was a note of concern that you hadn’t heard before. You almost snorted at the thought. You and you let it with a sigh of resignation.

There was no use denying it.

The Dark Side had a hold on you.

And it didn’t appear to be letting go any time soon. didn’t want to hear his voice anymore.

When you opened your eyes again, you were no longer sitting in the training room with Yoda. Instead, you found yourself on a landing platform. The night was cold and dark, and the wind ripped around and billowed your Jedi robes around you. Standing across from you…was him.

Black encompasses him like the shadows of the night, trying to swallow him whole. But the closer you looked, you realized that he was controlling the shadows. The rain pounded on the both of you, soaking you to the bone. Lightning struck the platform to your right, lighting up the area around you. His eyes flashed with the lightning, gold and beautiful.

“You!” you snarled, baring your teeth and glaring at the man.

He held up his hands in what he probably thought to be a placating gesture, but you took it as a threat. You threw your hand forward, and a powerful blast of energy flew from your fingers. Cataegis grunted and crossed his arms to block your blow.

“Get out of my head,” you snarled.

Letting out a scream, you let yourself feel the force around you. The energy flowed through you, became your blood. Everything around you became a part of you. And when you attacked him again, you attacked him with everything.

Yoda watched you with awe. His eyes were wide as a bubble of pure force energy surrounded you. He could see the waves rolling off of you, creating the field. Blue, red, and purple flowed through it like veins in a body. The sphere itself had a golden glow that pulsated with your heartbeat.

His eyes widened and he jumped from his seat as he saw you open yours.

“Get out of my head!”

An intense gold seeped into the color of your irises, intensifying the color. Energy exploded out of your body, throwing Yoda away from you and across the room.

Taglist: @rogueheretic555 @lordofthenerds97 @say-something-nice-missy @doctor-warthrop @auroras-stirring-gaze @venus-armote @say-something-nice-missy @cosmicsierra

[trickstarbrave]

i think it does still work in existing lore, at least with some tweaking.

anu, brother of padomay, husband of nir, as we theorize him to be (which is again a theory. it could just be a convenient story to anthropomorphize complex concepts) if he is really like that isn't conscious. he isn't able to think rationally. he is literally asleep accidentally reliving his trauma over and over and over again. being stasis even if he wanted to, he cannot act.

akatosh/auriel is a being with more agency and an ability to act move and influence the world, even mostly aligned with the concept of stasis, is not exactly anu. he is typically regarded as an offshoot. akatosh/auriel wouldn't really conceptualize the naming of nirn being after anu's wife--at least not fully. nirn wasn't even his idea, it was lorkhan's he was roped into with the promise of getting to be king (and magnus probably roped him in too)

that being said, alduin is a being of change, but he makes sense to have been made by akatosh/auriel. linear time is not natural in the elder scrolls universe. how things were in the dawn era was things happening all at one, out of order, in different orders, and all variations of those events all at the same time. we can see peaks of it during dragon breaks. and for linear time to exist it must have both a beginning and an end.

linear time is not natural to akatosh/auriel. despite being of stasis it goes against his nature. being it was made for a reason: to keep lorkhan from coming back. the establishment of linear time effectively turns mundus into a prison for lorkhan so he can never find his heart and live again. when linear time ends a new cycle beings, lorkhan comes back, the dawn era happens, mundus is created again, and he is killed on repeat to repeat the cycle of anu's trauma with padomay without ever properly healing. lorkhan didn't just make mundus to be an ass though but it's heavily speculated that because he understands CHIM, he understands the true nature of their reality. that this cycle will repeat infinitely without healing. that they are all apart of anu who is dreaming about his trauma and to heal they need to confront it and grow and learn to accept it. thus he made mundus with the sole goal of testing spirits until others could escape the trauma dream they were all trapped in and help anu heal.

alduin still needs some work though in terms of lore breaking. before he was essentially just the nordic interpretation of akatosh/auriel who was angry he had to give up his power and essentially die for mundus to exist when lorkhan had originally promised he got to be king. but the thing is i think it can still make sense; lorkhan and auriel/akatosh were interconnected beings. together they basically made up space/time. two halves of a whole, two sides of the same coin. when lorkhan was killed it really messed up akatosh/auriel. who then drove himself to literal insanity establishing linear time to keep lorkhan imprisoned. its possible alduin was a piece of akatosh that broke off during these events and became sentient rather than a guy literally made by auriel/akatosh to end time.

or yknow you could go the khajiit mythology way which is there was a bigger dragon god of time between anu and auriel/akatosh that broke and made alduin in the break thus effectively making the akatosh/auriel WE know and communicate with actually more akin to alduin's brother. i could explain this more as i think it is more credible that dragons+alduin actually are offshoots of the amalgamation of lorkhan+auriel (why do you think they use shouts which are actually the domain of shor's wife, kyne?) but then i think the discussion would get too complicated.

ultimately i don't think they should have made alduin akatosh's son but they made a commitment to akatosh being the good guy in the last game and kinda scrapped the invasion from akavir plot plan so. i guess we can shove nidhogg into the elder scrolls universe despite norse mythology being fundamentally incompatible with TES cosmology. why not. at least alduin i find attractive. so.

My personal opinion has always been that Skyrim lore alone spits in the face of established lore in the TES universe, which is hardly the first time. The retconning of Cyrodiil’s ecology comes to mind immediately.

I’ve long had a headcanon that the tale of the World-Eater Alduin is, if not wrong, then misunderstood. Certainly he’s supposed to be inspired by the Wyrm, Nidhogg, from Nordic mythology.

But what if that was a corruption of his sphere of influence?

Anu and Padomay were Stasis and Change, Order and Chaos, respectively. Paarthurnax and Alduin seem to be a reflection of these primordial siblings, and given they are “children” of Akatosh, that adds a layer of bittersweet tragedy to their roles. Imagining a lonely Akatosh/Auri-el/Anu recreating himself and his lost sibling makes my heart ache.

Going by the idea that Akatosh, Auri-el, and Anu (among others) are just facets and interpretations of the same godly being, him assigning to Alduin the almost identical purpose as what ended up corrupting and causing the fall of Padomay feels cruel.

And beyond strange, given that Nirn is the corpse of Anu’s wife Nir, and their many children. Whom Padomay slew. Why on earth would Anu want anything to devour Nirn, least of all a son he himself created to maybe [fill the void] of his previous loss. And this is the same guy who chucked Lorkhan’s heart to fuck for daring to intervene with Nirn even a little, and established a dynasty of mortals infused with his blood and will to protect Tamriel from Daedra. Who sent Padomay to the Void, whence he can never come back.

Change itself isn’t even an evil by design. Lorkhan’s desire for change won out, even if he was punished for it. Mehrunes Dagon, the Daedra of Change, Natural Catastrophes and Revolutions, is not evil by what he influences, so the same can be argued for Alduin, even if he’s more demigod than Daedra. And demigods are also an established thing, there have been several mentioned throughout Tamriel’s history, like Morihaus Breath-of-Kyne. Alduin claiming to be a son of Akatosh isn’t farfetched.

The idea of a World-Eater who regularly eats the world flies in the face of all lore about Anu. We know this because the Aedra are actual living things in this universe, who influence, appear to, and even talk to the people on Nirn. Auri-el walked among the Aldmer for a long time, just to have a walk. No biggie. The Septim line could all summon his Avatar in dragon-form as part of their bloodline’s contract. Note that the Avatar is one of Protection, not Destruction. The Septims could destroy as many mortals as they liked, even reshape lands and landscapes, but notice how they were still duty-bound to protect Nirn. From forces that could actually harm [her corpse].

So who exactly would benefit from Alduin the World-Eater?

Whose sphere used to be Change, whose corruption led to Nir’s death [the corpse of the world], who wishes for all things to come to the Void, to be Ended, more than anyone else?

Padomay. Sithis.

Hell, even the color palette of Sithis’ legion is the same as Alduin; black and red. The painful irony of the Betrayer Brother corrupting the son Anu created in his very image is just. No words. Even more so if Alduin doesn’t realize, doesn’t know he’s fighting under the banner of his father’s enemy. And what an amusing showdown it’d be; instead of a Dragonborn just Shouting the Problem away for Someone Else To Deal With, it’s trying to talk someone out of continuing down a path they were never meant to tread. A classic “come back to your senses”, only it’s aimed at a giant demigod dragon with a daddy complex.

[koolkat9]

Pruk Week 2022: Day 4

@prukweek

Prompt:  Myths & gods || Letters

Rating: T

Pairing: Pruk

Word Count: 655

Author’s Note: This a sort of historical based fic set at different times following ww2, during the Allies’ occupation of Germany and at the very end, during the Berlin Wall. 

Dear Prussia,

I know things have been…rough to say the least. Occupation isn’t ideal, but we can’t have a repeat of last time. Got to make sure the economy stays stable, homes and businesses are rebuilt, and all that. I’m sure you understand since you are well versed in war. It is a far better option than complete invasion don’t you think?

It’s temporary, I assure you. For your brother’s benefit. Speaking of Germany, I’ll look out for him for you. He has been rather quiet. Not speaking to any of us, but not pushing back either. If you have any knowledge about what could be causing this shutdown, please share. Who knows how this could affect the nation? Or perhaps it is because of something going on in the nation. Either way, it is imperative I am we are made aware.

I know you’re probably confused, maybe even betrayed. But I promise this is all for the best. 

I miss you. I still love you. I’m sorry. We’ll keep in touch okay?

I look forward to your reply.

Sincerely,

England

-----

Dear Prussia,

Get out of there now. You were right; this was a stupid idea, but you’ve got to believe me when I say we were just trying to do the right thing. Prevent a repeat of what had happened and keep you two stable. But of course, Russia isn’t making it easy on us. Don’t tell Alfred I said this, but he was right when he said we couldn’t trust the Soviets.

I haven’t heard from Russia since his bosses banned him from meetings. Part of me hopes he didn’t want any of this, but…You’re with him, so you’d probably have a better idea where his head is at right now.

Our bosses didn’t help matters, making some major decisions without proper consultation with the USSR. We have some plans to combat further escalation, but I’m worried about you Gilbert. You need to leave while you still can. There is no telling what will happen next. The border isn’t tightly controlled currently. You could come live with me even, and no one would have to know. I’ll even pay for your subway ticket.

Sorry…That sounds desperate, doesn’t it? I don’t care anymore. Gilbert, I love you, and I just want to be able to hold you again.

I’ll be anxiously waiting for your reply.

Love,

Arthur Kirkland

-----

Dear Gilbert,

Ludwig misses you. I catch him staring at that damn wall whenever we go to Berlin. He’s moved to Hannover for the time being. I think being in Berlin makes it hurt more.

I’m still watching him for you. We’ve actually become pretty good friends in this span of time. He’s a very polite yet resilient young man, you should be very proud of him. But he’s worried. I’ve told him that we have continued to exchange letters in hopes to ease this, but you know that’s a lie. I think he knows too. But he hasn’t said anything, so I’ve kept it up. Which is why I continue to send these letters into the void.

I think part of me hopes to hear back, just once. I want to believe Ivan has a heart. That I will finally be able to give one letter to him and that it will reach you. If this is the lucky letter let me just say:

I love you Gilbert. Oh so very much.

Not a day goes by where I don’t think of you, wondering if you’re eating enough, if you’re getting enough sleep, if you’re warm enough. Sometimes I wonder if you’re still there. I’m already planning our dates for when we’re finally reunited. So help me God, I’m taking you to a Beatles concert; I can promise you that.

So, please. Hang on my love. I’m doing everything I can to get you back. I promise we will meet again.

Forever yours,

Arthur Kirkland

[zodiyack]

In Regards Of My Ex

Pairing: Niklaus Mikaelson x Female!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, angst

Words: 2,125

Summary: Niklaus believes deceitful gossip from Aurora De Martel about his wife and takes his anger out on her. As a result, Y/n leaves and finds comfort with Cami and Davina, who call in backup to confront the big bad hybrid about his big bad dumbassery.

Note: I’ve been in a fluffy mood as of recently HOWEVER this idea was sparked when I was feeling angsty™ so...sorry but also not sorry?

Taglist: @matth1w​, @redspaceace-writes​, @fandom-puff​, @simonsbluee​, @darling-i-read-it​, @jenepleurepasbaby​, @sebastianstanslefteyebrow​, @dpaccione​

Masterlist | The Originals Masterlist

Part One. Part Two. Part Three.

“That wife of yours has been sneaking around with my brother. Breaking more hearts than just yours from what I can see.”

“I suppose some people just can’t see the worthiness of the king in front of them. If I were your wife, I wouldn’t be like Y/n. I’d be committed you and never give you fib tales like her.”

“You are aware that Y/n has been plotting something nefarious against you, aren’t you?”

“I know you wanted to marry someone just as sinister as you, but perhaps you should’ve checked where her loyalty lied before tying that knot.”

Aurora fed him stories such as these, and many more, each conclusion of the lies spewing from her mouth something appalling about Y/n. At first, Klaus didn’t listen, but as her stories grew worse and worse, the faux feeling of treachery intensified. He knew it was unwise to believe anything that came from the spiteful, jealous woman...yet, his distress caused pain to strike his heart and he yearned to know the truth.

Although, in this case, the “truth” wasn’t actually very truthful.

She often told him things like that Lucien was going after his girl for the second time, first with her when she had her chance and now, his beloved wife. Klaus merely brushed it off with an honest “he tries and I’ll stake him first chance I get”. However, Aurora wasn’t finished yet. She continued to lie and deceive Niklaus about the woman who she accused of replacing her in his life. The envy and loathing Aurora felt for Y/n was her motivator, but the woman was too far up a wall to need one in the first place.

“Are you telling me the truth?” He growled, keeping his eyes trained at the wall in front of them.

“Why do you ask?”

“I need to know I can trust your bold claims. So answer me, Aurora, are you telling me the truth?”

That smug little grin, masking her deluding ways. “Of course, Nik. I would never lie to you.” Her welcome into his trust was unsurprisingly taken advantage of  when she traced her finger down his arm and then brought her hand up his abdomen slowly. Klaus shoved her invasive hand off of his chest though, giving her a warning glare.

“Thank you for informing me.” That was all he said to her before he made his way out of the room in the most hurry she’d ever seen him in.

Aurora smiled conceitedly. Her plans were on the right track. Whilst Nik didn’t have the same feelings for her now as he did way back during the beginning of their story, but Aurora was determined to stir those feelings from the dead as vampirism did him and her.

She drawled under her breath, “I will have you again, Nik.” her mischievous smile grew wider, “I will have you again, and nothing can stop me this time.”

“Blasphemy!” Niklaus shouted, veins popping out from the rage coursing in his system. He neared Y/n again, the slight fear in her eyes drawing a pause for a second, guilt stilling him, but his anger took the reigns once more.

“It’s not blasphemy! I would never lie to you!”

“The falsity of your deception proves otherwise, love.” He smirked, raising his brows as to question if she would battle his words yet again. Proof was what he needed, but his vexation had drowned out all logic, including his ability to see the proof he wanted so desperately.

“What deception? What falsehood do you believe to have come from my mouth? When I married you, I vowed to be truthful and loyal. You of all people on this fucking earth should know I always keep a vow.” She narrowed her eyes at him. The betrayal he thought he felt was temporary and fabricated, but hers was 100% genuine and seething within her.

“You say that but if you were indeed an untrue person, your answer would be no different.”

“Why do you insist on proving me a traitor!? What has pushed you so far past your breaking point that you actually accuse me, your wife, as a viper?”

“Don’t you pretend like you don’t know the malicious schemes you’ve plotted against me or the affairs you’ve had with men who obviously aren’t your husband!” He couldn’t stop himself now; “I’ve loved you for centuries and you decide to be disloyal and ill-natured?!”

“Says who?!”

“Says Aurora!” After the words flew from his mouth, a tiny part of him realized just how fucked up it sounded. Just how fucked up it was that he believed her over his wife, but the hybrid was stubborn. He was too stubborn to change his belief or admit his fallacious accusations were unjust without proper evidence.

Y/n knew Aurora and Klaus’ story. Her knowledge of the ancient and long forgotten tale made her reaction thousands of times worse. “Aurora? ...Huh. You choose to believe her- that manipulative, lying bitch, over me? I thought you knew me better than that.” She wiped away a rebellious tear, “I thought I knew you better than that.”

Disappointment hung heavy on her features, drawing a feeling of shame from Klaus. Y/n glared at him one last time, her knitted brows and vaguely teary eyes evidence of the heavy-heartedness that overwhelmed her. She bit the inside of her mouth and shook her head disapprovingly before turning and walking out the front gate-doors of the Mikaelson mansion. Klaus was alone.

The sounds of Davina’s giggles echoed, Cami sitting in front of her and chuckling heartfully as well. Their laughter died off when they noticed Y/n sulking through the front doors of Rousseau's. The place was empty aside from the two women having drinks and a friendly chat. Then Y/n entered and found a seat. The atmosphere, once cheery, suddenly felt melancholy.

“Hey, Y/n, you alright?” Camille’s smile was wiped from her lips. She felt empathy for Klaus’ wife and, as a friendly person in general, she felt overcome with the need to help solve the complication that made her feel so down in the dumps.

“I’m-” She was ready to say fine, Davina and Cami knew it, but she broke down in tears before she could even shape an “o” with her lips. Both women jumped up immediately and sat in the seats beside Y/n. Though Davina couldn’t stand Klaus, she actually liked Y/n and seeing her hurt sent searing pain into her own heart.

“It’s okay, hun,” Cami wrapped an arm over Y/n’s shoulder, her other hand rubbing her other shoulder and arm comfortingly, “take as long as you need, there’s no pressure, no rush, none of that. We’ve got you.”

And so they did. The two women took turns holding Y/n as she cried, and before long, she was ready to talk. She explained Klaus’ anger and the source of their fight, the source of the fake news he’d lashed out because of. Davina and Cami shared a glance when Aurora was mentioned, both women already hating her but equally despising her even more now. Y/n sobbed, crying into Cami’s shoulder about wanting Klaus to just believe her. She said she loved him and because of that, she felt pained by his lack of belief in her.

“He’s not worth it if he can’t see how wrong that decision was-”

“I know, but he’s my husband. I vowed to love him always and forever, to never leave his side, and I intend to keep that vow...so long as he doesn’t do anything to fuck it up any more than he already has.”

The sun began to sink into the dark, not fully quite yet, but still creating it’s beautiful array of colors as a final act before disappearing for the night. About halfway through Y/n’s rant, Cami called Hayley and gave her a summary of what she knew so far. A promise of arriving as soon as she could was returned on Hayley’s end before the line went dead and Cami returned to the table.

Still not entirely after sunset yet, Hayley swung open the door to Rousseau's, catching Davina and Y/n off guard. Despite being the one who called her, Cami stayed seated. Y/n and the witch beside her exchanged confused expressions.

“Are you just gonna sit there or are you gonna tell me what the hell I need to do to Klaus?”

Y/n chuckled softly, wiping away more of the salty tears, before standing and walking over to Hayley, greeting her with a hug. “You don’t have to get involved if you don’t want to-”

“No, trust me, I have to and I want to.” She pulled away and dropped her warm smile, giving Y/n the most serious look she could muster. And as she was Hayley Marshall, it was effortlessly pretty fucking serious. “Now, I want you tell me everything,” the mom voice came out to play, “don’t leave a single detail out. Then, we can discuss what we’re going to do about it.”

“Where is he?”

Rebekah had been informed by the pissed off werewolf and bartender everything that had happened, resulting in her becoming equally upset. She welcomed Hayley inside the gates and nodded her head up the stairs. “I haven’t said anything to him, so you’ll be lucky enough to catch him by surprise.”

The werewolf nodded in understanding before pacing toward the stairs irritability. “Thanks.”

“Make it hurt!” Rebekah’s voice faded away as she walked out the gates, leaving Hayley alone to find Niklaus.

Atop the stairs, she found no sign of anyone whatsoever, but that was only on the outside. If Klaus happened to be inside on of the many rooms, she wouldn’t waste her time searching. Instead, she waited, leaning against the railing and doing a breathing exercise Y/n taught her during one lonely full-moon. 

After minutes of waiting, Klaus finally walked out of a door and started for the stairs. It wasn’t longer than a minute before he stopped in his tracks and realized he’d missed something. He shot a double take in Hayley’s direction, a puzzled expression quickly finding way to his face. It seemed as though he was contemplating whether or not her unexpected appearance was a good thing or a bad thing.

When he seemingly couldn’t make up his mind, staring a few minutes longer, a heavy sigh left her mouth. She was ticked off with him before, but after hearing everything Y/n had to say, she was furious. No, more than furious. The blood boiling rage was incessantly pounding in her head, all she wanted was cause destruction and pain. A rare thing for her.

But now was not the time to lash out, not yet. She inhaled and exhaled, Hayley shifted on her feet and looked around before turning her head to Klaus and beckoned him over to her with a come-hither motion of her index finger.

“What is it?”

She looked at him, flabbergasted that he’d even ask a question as stupid as that, “What is it? What is it, Klaus?” Hayley slapped him, the man doubling back and blinking in astonishment. And not the good kind.

“How dare you lay your hands on me, you-”

“So you’re gonna yell at me now?” She crossed her arms, and unimpressed look resting upon her face. “You know, personally, I think Y/n is better off without you but she’s broken and has been bawling her eyes out nonstop for hours on end, drinking away all the pain that you’ve formed into a stake and shoved into her chest.”

He stopped, fury fleeing his face as he experienced what felt like her words body-slamming into him.

“And guess who’s been there to pick out the splinters?” She poked her finger against her chest over and over again. “Me!” Her eyes never left his, telling him just how sincere about this she really was. “Me! Cami- even Davina!” Hayley threw her hands in the air, emphasizing the shock that came with the information. “Rebekah’s on her way over now, and I’m sure Elijah will see to it that he comforts his sister-in-law as much as he can, but you?”

“I-”

She cut him off, temper still unquenched, thirsty for vengeance. “Let me finish.” She growled. Hayley looked around the room in attempt to calm herself, but it was to no avail.

“You got her into this mess. I just hope you get both of you guys out of it.” She flicked her eyes back to his, giving him her infamous dead eyed glare. “I really hope you do. And you better do it soon. Because I won’t be there to pick the splinters out for you when she realizes she doesn’t need your sorry ass.”

[arrantsnowdrop]

Informalities - Éomer x reader

Request:  “Eomer x reader fic where the reader is from our world and Eomer listens to the stories the reader says of our world and he thinks that it is a grand place and so when they are finally getting together, Eomer feels kind of insecure cuz he feels he'll never live up to the reader's "standards" and the reader says that they are insecure because he is a prince and she has nothing"

Tags: @thewhiteladyofrohan

Warnings: mention of battles and death, about 2,200 words

A/N: Hoppy Easter lads and lasses, we are back from a many month writing hiatus. Hope y’all enjoy, I’m glad to be here :)

You genuinely had no idea how you’d ended up in Middle Earth.

It was one of those fever dream situations - one moment you were falling asleep in your own bed, and the next you were waking up at the bottom of a tree, surrounded by many bearded and concerned looking men.

Of course you’d been startled and so, so confused, but it had only taken you a few moments to recognize the characters from one of your favorite stories, and then you’d fully accepted your new reality.

By the time you first encountered the fellowship, they had already lost Gandalf at Moria and passed through the realm of Lothlorien. They were traveling in their fancy elvish boats when they’d spotted you from the river. You were extremely grateful for that - who knows what would’ve happened if the Uruk-hai tracking them had found you first.

Boromir and Gimli were quite intimidated by your presence, having been brought up in traditions that designated men for warrior roles. Aragorn and Legolas were much more accepting (female elves were just as badass as any male elf or man, and both of them knew that). The hobbits had all taken an immediate liking to you, and you’d been devastated to lose them during the Uruk ambush. Of course, this only gave you a stronger drive to track them into Rohan with Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli.

It was there that you met Éomer for the first time, after his riders surrounded your small group of assumed invaders.

He was handsome, there was no denying that, and you found his decision to protect Rohan even in exile extremely brave. He’d been startled by your presence (a group including a dwarf, an elf, AND a woman must’ve been an oddity for him), and thus had talked primarily with Aragorn, but you could not shake the way his eyes locked with yours as he offered you his condolences about Merry and Pippin.

You figured you’d never see the handsome blonde again, glumly complaining to Gimli about it several times throughout Rohan.

Thus, you’d been overjoyed when he arrived at the Battle of Helm’s Deep - half because he was saving your asses from almost certain death, and half because you’d get to see his face and hear his voice again.

You followed Aragorn after the battle, searching for Gandalf in the celebrating crowd. It did not take long, with his bright white robes being quite easy to pick out.

“Gandalf!” you screamed gleefully, weaving between the people around you to get to the smiling wizard.

“It is good to see you, (Y/n),” he said as you embraced him.

“Oh, it’s even better to see you,” you said.

“I have to agree with (Y/n),” Aragorn said from behind you. You pulled back, allowing Gandalf time to greet your friend, and quickly caught sight of a familiar face.

He had been laughing with some other men when his gaze fell on you, eyes locking with yours for the second time. You smiled a bit and offered an awkward wave, face flushing as he flashed you a smile.

“Ah, (Y/n), this is Lord Éomer, current heir to the throne of Rohan,” Gandalf said, noticing the two of you staring at each other.

“We’ve met before,” he said, walking towards you

“Indeed we have,” you replied as he stopped just in front of you. “It is a pleasure to meet you, oh-future-king,” you said, bowing a bit.

You could hear Aragorn slap his forehead from behind you and grinned.

“She’s not from around here, so do forgive her manners,” Aragorn said.

“Or lack thereof,” you added, straightening yourself once more and looking at Éomer’s amused face.

“I appreciate the informality,” Éomer grinned. You spun around and pointed at Aragorn.

“See? Someone appreciates me,” you accused.

You were extremely happy to meet Éomer. It’s not that you didn’t adore Aragorn and Legolas and Gimli, but they were also the only people you’d been around for quite a while. It was exciting to make a new friend, especially one so handsome and charismatic.

The two of you spent the entire ride to Isengard delving into each other’s lives, from childhoods to secret fears to favorite foods. Obviously, the two of you had led quite different lives, and he was fascinated by the world you had come from.

“These cars you speak of, are they like horses?” he asked.

“No, they’re much faster,” you replied. “They’re more like a carriage, since they have space for several people inside.”

“But it moves without a horse?”

“Yup!”

“Who steers in then?”

You were grinning ear to ear at the look of bewilderment on his face.

“One of the people inside,” you answered. “There’s a wheel to control which direction you go and pedals on the floor to control the speed.”

“That sounds terribly complicated,” Éomer said, brows furrowing.

“It’s not too bad,” you said, “I was even pretty good at it.”

Éomer shot you an alarmed look.

“You used to steer these...these things?” he asked incredulously. You laughed and nodded. “You have to be taught how to do it,” you explained. “It’s not like they throw you into it without any preparation.”

“It still sounds extremely dangerous,” he decided.

“I did break my arm in a crash once,” you said thoughtfully. He gasped.

“You can crash them?”

Éomer had quickly become one of your favorite people, which only made the continuous battles over the fate of Middle Earth even more stressful. You were terrified he would ride into a fight and never return, and even more terrified of what that meant.

You’d searched for him for hours after the Battle for Minas Tirith, heart growing more and more heavy as you continued. Every person you asked had no idea where he was, and by the time you returned to the White City, your hands were shaking with anxiety. Finding him outside of the makeshift infirmary that had been set up was the most relieving moment of your entire life.

You had gasped the moment you caught sight of his all too familiar golden hair, letting out a desperate sob as his eyes met yours, him rushing over to you and wrapping you in his arms. Your embrace was filled with all the emotions both of you were too terrified to say aloud.

“I thought you were dead,” you murmured into his chest, eyes wet and lips trembling.

“It will take far more than a few Oliphaunts to kill me,” he whispered, pressing his lips to the top of your head.

You wanted nothing more than to tell him in that moment how much you loved him, but decided against it. You knew the fighting was not over, the last thing you needed was for him to be distracted by you during battle and find himself impaled with some pointy object. If you both lived to the end of this, you would tell him then.

But then you were too scared to do it.

Of course you had won - the ring had been destroyed, Aragorn had led the crusade against the forces of Mordor, and Gondor was preparing to crown its long lost king. Everyone was staying in Minas Tirith until the coronation, but then everyone was leaving. All your friends would be heading home, but you did not have one of those here in Middle Earth.

Aragorn had already offered you a place in Gondor’s leadership, and thus a permanent residence with him, and the hobbits were more than happy to escort you back to the Shire with them, but you knew both of these options would separate you from the one person you wanted to be with.

All you wanted was to follow Éomer back to Edoras, but you were unsure if that would be best for him. He was about to be crowned king of Rohan, and probably had many ladies of Rohan’s nobility lined up to rule with him. It was selfish for you to think you had any right to his heart, especially when his duties and responsibilities were so much more important than an outspoken, title-less woman.

So you distanced yourself from him. You avoided him whenever possible, taking the longest routes you could to dinners and meetings. You tried not to be affected by his desperate gaze, or the way he called for you as you rushed out of a room. It hurt you more than anything, but you knew it would be better for him in the long run. You succeeded with your plan until the night before Aragorn’s coronation.

You’d been walking home from dinner (a huge, pre-celebration feast that qualified as a celebration itself) through an old, twisty corridor. You opened the door to your room only to see Eomer sitting on your bed, a worried look on his face.

You jumped slightly, startled by his presence.

“What are you doing in here?” you said breathlessly. “This is totally an invasion of my privacy and absolutely uncalled for at such a late hour, you almost gave me a heart attack-”

“Forgive me,” he interrupted, standing up from the bed, eyes fixated on you. You both stood there in silence for some time, the closest you’d been to each other for the first time in days.

“I missed you,” he murmured finally. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

You looked down at your feet and nodded. You did not want to see the look of betrayal that he was undoubtedly wearing.

“Why?” he whispered. You winced at the sound of hurt in his voice.

“You would not understand Éomer, but I promise it was in your best interest,” you replied.

“You are my best friend, (Y/n), how could ignoring me benefit me?” he asked incredulously. You looked up at him, trying to ignore the tears beginning to form in your eyes.

“Éomer-”

“Please,” he cut you off desperately, slowly walking towards you. “I have missed you more than you could possibly imagine.” “That is the issue,” you whispered, closing your eyes to avoid looking at him.

“How is that an issue?” he begged.

“Because you are about to be a king,” you shouted, eyes still closed. “And you will leave after tomorrow with everyone else, back to Edoras, where new responsibilities will be awaiting you and demanding your attention.”

“How does that have anything to do with you?” he asked, voice sounding a lot closer than before. You gulped, sensing him right in front of you.

“I would be a distraction,” you replied meekly. Éomer did not reply, but instead reached to grab your hands with his own, you gasping as he pulled you into his chest.

“(Y/n), you are not a distraction, how could you-”

“I do not want you to leave me here,” you interrupted, resting your forehead against him. “I am so scared I’ll never see you again, but your life is about to be so much more important than me.”

“I do not want to leave you here,” he said, wrapping his arms around your back. “I want you to come with me. You’re my best friend, how could I abandon you?”

“That’s exactly the problem,” you whispered, “even if I were physically with you, that would not stop me from...from…”

You stopped and bit your lip, terrified of the confession about to pour out of you. Éomer moved his hand below your chin, tilting your head up to face him.

“Stop you from what?” he whispered intensely, eyes searching your face desperately. You exhaled breathily.

“I love you, Éomer,” you said softly, watching as his expression softened. “So, so much.”

He blinked once, twice, registering what you had just said, and smiled, leaning down to rest his forehead against yours.

“I love you more than anyone, (Y/n),” he murmured.

“But, surely there are women back in Rohan who are far more suitable for-”

“(Y/n),” Éomer said seriously, pulling away to look you in the eyes once more. “I have the power to be with whomever I choose.”

“But why would you choose me?” you asked meekly. Éomer chuckled, brushing a stray bit of hair out of your face and tucking it behind your ear tenderly. You leaned into his hand slightly, relishing in the way he cupped your face.

“I was more nervous that you wouldn’t choose me,” he admitted. You look at him in confusion.

“How could I not choose you?” you asked.

“You’re much more interesting than I am,” he shrugged. “You come from a world that is so much more exciting than mine, and the last thing I want is for you to settle for me.”

“Éomer, you stab people with swords and ride horses all day. And live in a castle. That is insanely cool,” you grinned, wrapping your arms around his midsection. “Of course I choose you.”

“And I choose you,” he murmured, pulling you closer to him. “Please come home with me.”

“Yes,” you whispered, nodding fervently. “Yes, please.”

Éomer grinned, tilting your face up to his once more and leaning down to kiss you. Your heart leaped, hand reaching up to grab the back of his head to intensify the kiss. He moaned softly, bending down to pick you up and twirling you around. You giggled and pressed your nose against his.

“I’m thinking we make my coronation far less formal than Aragorn’s,” Éomer said, “as much as I’ve been loving these dinners, I don’t think I could stand hosting them.”

“You know I’m fantastic at informalities,” you replied.

[smolcuriouskitten]

To think magic was a pivotal thing in her life, the very thing that kept her alive, she couldnt imagine how much damage it could do to her. She did have several inclinations of being watched but she was so sick of fighting something, she pushed it aside.

It was always something with him she messed up. She would wake up before him, her arms and body sore from the various injuries she sustained during the abuse, making him breakfast. Two eggs scrambled hard and bacon extra crispy. His coffee had to be strong, expresso blend, with a splash of cream and one sugar cube. She knew this like the back of her hand. So why was she having it thrown in her face because of her 'not putting enough sugar?'

Everyday it was something small that changed about his routine. It was from his negligence and lack of planning but it was her problem. If he changed shifts and she wasnt aware, he would be late on purpose to 'punish' her. She was growing tired of it but the thought of him harming her family in her place made her eat her words. Just deal with this for as long as you can. Anything to keep your family safe.

~~~~~

Rockelle was in her dorm, studying for a class. Her concentration kept getting interrupted by her mind racing. She couldnt shake the feeling, after all this time, of being watched. The rain hits her window as she looks out and shes left baffled. She should be scared, she should want to run and hide, but shes been hiding for so long, so what makes this any different?

Just swallow your pride and finish your work. The faster you finish, the sooner you can sleep. How many days has it been? How many tears has she shed over stress alone? It was all a blur. All for a stupid piece of paper. She scribbles onto the paper begrudgingly, trying to focus on the rain and not her mind.

~~~~

Despite her not understanding her powers, they seemed to make her hair stand on edge when someone was close to her apartment. Its always the stupid reporters. Asking invasive questions and making her go through the trauma all over again just for a stupid story on a stupid piece of paper. She couldnt tell the truth, so she had to lie, lie and say 'he was taken in the flames of the club in order to ensure my safety.' painting him as some hero. He was no damn hero.

Getting the feeling to go by the door, she gets up, slowly walking to the door. God, she hopes its not one of his friends to seek revenge. She wouldnt even fight it if it happens at this rate. "....If you are a reporter, I dont want to a-answer any more questions. I gave you a-all of the d-de-details. G-go away." She shakily said at the door, not used to sticking up for herself. Her tone and voice were soft and weak, not raising her voice even at the hysterical person on the other side of the door. She cant even remember the last time she spoke up.

@smolcuriouskitten // closed starter

Magic. He's seen it, heard it, been a victim to it, and even practiced a little of it himself. So, understandably, Dean Winchester didn't immediately register that Magic could be a person's NAME too.

But after a few more visions, things became clear. Painfully so. Almost like they weren’t visions at all but actually happening. To him. To her.

Why the visions in the first place you ask? That would be because the god of time, Chronos, had been getting his omnipotent hands dirty before the infamous Winchester brothers came along and stuck him with an olive-stake.That was of course after a chase the likes of which resulted in Dean being thrown from 2012 to the 1940s in a burst of red light.

***

Dean is now back in a stormy night in 2012, and Chronos is gone, but that pain which stems to a time before he was even born? That’s still lodged inside him like a piece of metaphysical shrapnel.

Missing a few more nights sleep to a mental trauma he doesn’t remember acquiring, going through the psychic glimpses with a proverbial fine-tooth comb, Dean finally got the mystery woman’s address down to just a block or two… The only thing left to do was getting himself back to the 1940s. Thankfully, he knows an angel both willing and able to do just that.

***

"Do you know where-"

He rattles off the address to a neighbour, who non-verbally points him in the direction of an apartment. When he reaches the door, everything freezes. Well, except time in its misplaced weirdness. How does he tell a woman he doesn't know, he knows exactly what she's going through—because he was there when it happened—without actually being there when it happened?

Sooner than later, he shuts down and that usual phony-official (think politician, FBI agent, police detective, etc.) bravado just sits on the floor facing her door without a—but merely era-accurate—disguise, head in hands. He can't stand to think about what might happen if Magic were to walk in right now and see him. Or rather, what might happen if he sees Magic.