#this sadly doesn't work with the other intrusive thoughts i have

[schadenfreudich]

This is somehow a very funny way of getting rid of a significant amount of my intrusive thoughts, because I didn't even do it on purpose. I wasn't thinking about my intrusive thoughts I just needed to know this because I was already hyperfixated on it before I decided to read the entire wikipedia article.

And then it took me almost two days to notice that I had a lot less intrusive thoughts.

[melrodrigo]

Tardy, part 9

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10 | part 11

Tara Carpenter x Fem!Reader

Summary: It’s time to take down Ghostface once and for all…nothing can go wrong, right?

Warnings: Graphic Violence, Language, Angst

Word Count: 3.2k

A/N: There’s also fluff in the beginning because it wouldn’t be me without fluff…happy reading! Don’t forget to tell me what you think <3

The rest of the evening is spent in bliss. Tara in your arms splayed on the floor while you guys whisper disgustingly sweet nothings into the other's ear.

The morning after is no different. You wake to the smell of burnt bread, bacon, and eggs.

You get up drearily, try to stretch and immediately regret it when you feel a sharp sting pull at both your shoulder and stomach.

Humph. Last night almost made you forget you had two additional holes in your body.

You poke your head into the kitchen and smile cheekily.

"Good morning sunshine. Whatcha making there?" You hum, waltzing over to stand behind your girlfriend.

You don't see her face but you can tell she's pouting. Her shoulders tight, fists balled at her sides.

"The bagel burned." She says, letting out a tiny huff.

You peer over her to see 4 halves of a bagel burnt to a crisp, sitting sadly at the feet of the table.

"I can see that." You chuckle. She turns around quickly, big frown on her face.

"It's not funny. This has never happened before." She whines.

"It's a little funny. I mean, who would've thought an amazing chef like you would burn some plain ol bagels?" You tease, tilting your face down to press a kiss to her hair.

She pinches your sides a little too hard in warning.

"Okay, okay! Come on, I'll do the bagels. The bacon smells amazing though, you should go check up on those." You suggest, watching Tara brighten up at your praise comically fast.

You can almost see the imaginary lightbulb spark above her head.

"Yes. That's what I'll do." She grins, sauntering over to her bacon and eggs. She turns back quickly as if she just remembered something.

"But not because you told me to." She says, a mischievous grin on her lips. You roll your eyes but nod nonetheless.

She picks up her phone from the counter, presses play on a song.

It fits the energy nicely. Sort of slow, sort of upbeat. It's very romantic though.

She senses it too, you can tell by the way she snakes her hand around your waist and pulls you closer for a dance.

It might look a little silly from an outsider's perspective, you'll admit that, but it fills you with warmth.

It's times like these you want to use those cringy words couples are always describing their feelings with. You feel fuzzy. You want to forget about everything else in the world and focus on her.

"Tsk. tsk. Lovebirds, outta the way, I'm starving!" Mindy exclaims, popping out from god knows where. You frown a little at the intrusion.

She hurries over to the fridge, grabs a stray piece of bacon on her way there; earning her a light slap from Tara.

She rummages through the fridge, moving things left and right and out and in again.

"What's got you so excited?" Tara asks, sharing a look with you. Mindy doesn't turn as she answers.

"Not excited, I'm getting prepared. Can't defeat Ghostface with an empty stomach, can I?" She replies jokingly.

It's enough to ruin the mood. It makes you remember it's not just you and Tara in this world, and absolutely nothing is currently fine.

You straighten, clear your throat. Then turn to Tara, hoping you can still pretend to live in the moment.

"Shall we have breakfast, m'lady?" You ask, bowing dramatically.

You can tell it doesn't work. Tara's eyes darken again.

"Yeah...yeah. Let's." She says, sending you a small smile and pulling out your chair for you.

You squeeze her hand three times and try to send her a secret signal. She smiles a little, returning with three squeezes of her own.

-

You're quiet most of the ride to your apartment. The seven of you are crammed into Sam's little SUV; knees pressed together uncomfortably.

"What's the plan again?" You ask, trying to relieve some of the anxiety that's forming inside you with a distraction. The untimely news about your father had shaken you a bit, leaving you with no memory whatsoever of the plan the rest of the gang had made.

Tara's the one who answers you.

"We call Ghostface, get him to come to your apartment. You, me, Sam, and Chad will be waiting. Try to get him to fall for the trap, cage him up, shoot him and then we chop chop and pretend this never happened for the rest of our lives." She says simply, with all the chill of someone who's planning a holiday vacation.

When you get to the apartment, Sam equips herself with a net gun, the most important weapon; because she claims she's the only one who can use it. She's not wrong about that.

When she hands out the rest of the weapons to the group, you can tell she sees the hesitance on your face. You're tired. Not ready to fight.

The only weapon she gives you is a tiny pocket knife.

There's a trap set up right at the front door, and if all hell goes loose, there's a secret gun stashed in your bedroom.

You're not confident in the plan, not at all. There's way too much assuming what Ghostface will do when you all know he's a deranged psycho with a mind of his own.

By the time you get there, trap at the front door set, you're shaking. It's an unfortunate habit, really. You feel the dull ache in your stomach get worse with anxiety.

You're all standing smack dab in the middle of your living room. Nobody's relaxed enough to sit down.

Mindy, Ethan, Anika and Danny are situated together somewhere downstairs, in hiding. Ready to signal to you guys if they see anything suspicious.

You told them that you shouldn't split up, and safety was in numbers; but alas, the four of them had refused.

"Don't worry. We'll be safe." Ethan had said to you before he left, quickly following behind the other three with a skip in his steps.

Now, Tara inches closer to you, obviously sensing your turmoil. She grabs both your hands in hers and brings them up to her lips to kiss each of your knuckles. Her face is tight, determined.

"I'm gonna kill this fucker for what he did to you." She whispers, low enough for no one else but you to hear.

Normally, you'd laugh and quip back that she's way too tiny and weak for that, but the way she's looking at you; all mad and worked up sends shivers down your spine.

You open your mouth to tell her you'd happily do the same for her, but the indistinct sound of a phone ringing beats you to it.

Sam looks down at the contact and her expression turns unreadable. She sends all of you a final 'you ready?' look.

"Hello, Samantha." Comes the raspy voice out of Sam's phone.

"Hi." Sam grits out, grip so hard around the net gun that her knuckles turn white.

It's quiet for too long, almost like Ghostface is unsure of what to say. You raise an eyebrow internally.

Wasn't Ghostface supposed to be like super witty and stuff?

"Hey fuckface, would you mind telling us where you are? I'll show you mine if you show me yours." You say, voice light; sort of teasing. Tara grips your hand hard in support.

"Oh, YN...you didn't think I didn't know about your little plan did you?" Ghostface drawls and all four of you pale almost collectively.

"Plan? We just want to meet the fucker that wants to kill us," Sam says, eyes darting back and forth between your windows.

"Why don't you show yourself hm? Or are you too much of a pussy that you can't even fight me face to face?" She taunts, and you try to bite back the surprise on your face at her tone. She's serious, snarl on her face, fire evident in her eyes type of serious. It scares you a little.

What scares you even more is that you agree with her. There's something stirring deep in you, the feeling of ever losing Tara, the random uncalled DNA test, the fact that this fucker wants to take you away from her.

It's never going to happen.

You're about to open your mouth and bully the hell out of Ghostface when a loud shrill scream cuts you off.

You can feel the atmosphere change immediately.

It's not like your first night up on the roof with Tara now, you know what you're supposed to do. Or at least you kind of know.

You dart out the front door, leaping past the trap door you've made and practically sprint down the flights of stairs.

You can hear the three of them close behind you, footsteps hurried.

"Guys?" You call out.

There's a thumping sound and an animalistic groan. It makes you run even faster.

You round the corner to see Danny pressed up against a wall, Ghostface too close for comfort and thrashing wildly.

He's putting up a good fight, dodging and throwing in punches when he can; but it's clear who has the upper hand here.

"Hey, fuckface! Get away from my girlfriend's sister's boyfriend!" You yell, as loud as you can.

Damn, that's wordy.

You grip Ghostface's shoulders, using as much force as you can to squeeze and squeeze and squeeze in an attempt to try and pry him off Danny. You manage to throw him back, and quickly steady your feet as he tries to take a sloppy swing at you.

"Danny, where's the rest of them?" You question, looking around to see no sight of Ethan, Anika nor Mindy.

Ghostface surges at you again, and you dive to the side, kicking him in the side.

"I don't know, they just left." He says, sounding exasperated. You scrunch your eyebrows at his statement.

You see Sam behind Ghostface, ready with a beer bottle in her hand.

Huh, wonder where she got that.

She slams it down on his head hard, and Ghostface lets out a whimper. He swings madly at the both of you, not letting you approach. Then, he dashes out the lobby door before you guys can do anything.

You see the internal conflict in Sam's eyes. She wants to follow Ghostface, but she also wants to check up on Danny and his sort of worrying-looking wound.

"Stay with him. I'll follow Ghostface." You say, your tone authorative. You know she needs to hear it right now.

"Absolutely not." Tara pipes up, rushing up to you and putting her hands on your waist.

As if that was going to stop you.

You lean down quickly and press a kiss on her cheek.

"I have to go. Like right now. Or else we're going to lose him." You murmur, rub her back comfortingly. You can tell she's about to open her mouth and argue again, but Chad beats her to it.

"I'll go with her, don't worry Tara." He announces. He grabs you by the arm and urges you forward.

You mouth a quick 'love you' to Tara and run out the front lobby door, Chad in tow.

It's not hard at all to guess where the three of them could've gone. You notice the splatter of blood beneath your feet immediately; signal it to Chad.

"Holy shit." He whispers.

It's a lot. It has to be at least a gallon of blood, paving a clear way, hand prints and feet prints crazy and wild.

There's a spluttering sound to the left of you where the blood trail starts getting bigger and thicker. In big, random splotches till it stops right in front of a bush.

It would be a good hiding spot, if it weren't for the liquid painting everything crimson.

You round the big bush, weary; scared of what you might find. The pocket knife is pressed hard in your hand.

"Ethan?" You say as you see the brunette boy propped up against a wall, hiding behind the bush, hands pressed to a wound at his ribcage.

He looks extremely close to death. Like the grim reaper is five seconds away to coming and sucking the life out of him type of dead.

You don't waste a second. You rush over, fall to your knees, already feeling tears prick at your eyes.

"No no no, please." You murmur to no one in general, gripping and slapping at Ethan's shoulders, trying to get him awake.

His eyes are half-lidded, breath coming in in short sharp gasps.

You turn sharply, scream at Chad to get down here. You make him press at Ethan's wound further while you grab desperately at your shirt and ripping a piece off.

"YN." Ethan croaks, trying to get you to look at him.

There's no time, you can't. You can't let him go, not when you've just started to get to know him. Your closest friend, under you, bleeding out slowly.

There's no use trying to stop the tears now, tears stream down your face, blurring your vision.

You take the cloth in your hands and wrap it around his wound, tight, in hopes of stopping the bleeding.

It's too late, you all know it. He's already lost too much blood. He shakes a little and it makes you look up.

He's laughing.

He doesn't get to do it for very long, because blood is trickling out his mouth and choking him.

"Please, Ethan. I need you. Please don't go." You plead, taking his hand in yours and squeezing as hard as possible.

You feel the faintest squeeze before his hand falls entirely limp.

"I love you." He whispers, and then he closes his eyes. It looks almost peaceful, like he's falling asleep after a long day.

You're sobbing now. There's nothing holding you back, just pure carnal screams.

Chad sits, hands limp at his sides. Like he doesn't know what to do. He's crying too, you notice, but it's hard to see anything through your hazy vision.

You know they were close too, to the point where Chad was comfortable enough to introduce Ethan to the rest of the gang.

You feel hot, and the sadness switches to anger fast. You feel enraged.

You stand up, look both ways.

"Ghostface! Show yourself you fucker, or I'm going to hunt you down and gut you myself." You yell, hands gripping the pocket knife so hard the handle sinks between your fingers a little.

Immediately you hear something coming from the back of you. You're knocked back and stumble onto the pavement, a blur of black and white on top of you.

Your heart picks up till you feel like it might explode. Ghostface's taking your arms and placing them above your head, trying to stop you from moving.

You scream as he takes his knife and slices open the wound on your stomach once again, not too deep for it to be fatal; but enough for you to feel like you want to die.

He gets knocked over by Chad, who's standing arms flexed and ready for more fighting if necessary.

You roll over, get as close to Ghostface as you can, and try to sink the pocket knife into his chest.

You hit something hard and furrow your brows, trying with all your might to press down so you can finally kill the fucker.

He's wearing a bulletproof vest, you realize all at once, and try to change the directions of your knife.

It's too late, because he's recovering already. Ghostface reaches down to grab at your shoulder wound. You hiss, retracting immediately at the pain.

He takes that opportunity to get up and flee, but not before aiming a knife to Chad and throwing, ninja style.

"Yeah, flee you pathetic coward." You growl, taking Chad's extended hand and getting up.

"Guys?" You hear Sam call out, somewhere somewhat close.

"We're over here!" Chad yells out, and it takes only moments before you see the three of them running towards you; faces distraught.

Sam and Danny slow down halfway when they see that there's no immediate danger, but Tara picks up her pace, rushing towards you and all but flings herself into your arms.

You wince, but hold her tight.

She pulls back when she feels the thick sticky liquid painting her own shirt red. Her hands dart to cup your face, deep frown on her lips.

"You got hurt again." And her voice cracks as if she might cry.

"I'm okay." You try and reassure, tilting your face and kissing her hard.

You pull back, too quick for her liking.

"Ethan." You mumble, suddenly feeling weak in the knees.

"Ethan what?" She asks, trying to wipe the blood off your face.

"He's dead." Chad answers, voice hollow.

Tara's face changes immediately. She knows how close you were with him.

"Oh baby, I'm sorry." She whispers, rubbing comforting circles at the top of your head. You bend down, bury yourself in the crook of her neck so she doesn't have to see you cry.

You sniff slightly.

"So like...what do we do with the body?" Danny pipes up.

"We'll call the police. No use calling the ambulance now." Sam answers, eyeing you while she says the second part of her sentence.

You don't react, trying to block out the noises around you and focus on Tara. You think you might break down if you don't.

"Where's Anika and Mindy?" Tara asks softly, moving her hands to rub at your back now.

"I don't know." You mumble, shake your head to affirm your statement.

No one says anything for a long moment, but everyone's thinking the same thing.

"You guys don't think...Anika and Mindy are the killers do you?" Chad asks, a little hesitant. He sounds in disbelief.

Sam moves to touch his bicep lightly, trying to offer him some comfort. He leans into her touch, shoulders sagged and defeated.

"We don't know," She says, "but we should find them. Before we make any assumptions. Tara, call YN an ambulance.  The rest of you follow me."

There's always a sense of authority in Sam's voice that makes you want to follow, want to believe in her.

Tara nods at her sister, and leads you onto the edge of a sidewalk where you can sit freely.

She walks away to call the ambulance, and you watch as the rest of them walk away; till their silhouettes look the size of an ant.

You turn your attention to the road in front of you, the busy city. Not a single person bats an eye your direction, and you wonder how not a single person had come to your aid when you were screaming for your life.

"God, I hate people." You say as Tara sits down beside you.

"Me too." She says with no hesitance. You turn your head to look at her.

You think you understand her trauma a little bit better now. You can't even imagine doing all this a second time.

Your girlfriend really was a special kind of person.

She smiles at you softly, and the lamps above you light her face nicely.

"We'll be okay." She says, and squeezes your hand three times.

You hum but don't say anything. Squeeze it back three times.

[peachyloveswriting]

wow!!! the immortality post was so good!! you captured every character so well 🫶 im glad that for nai’s part he stopped himself before he accidentally killed reader—i wonder how insane that would’ve made him. i’m tempted by how angsty that would be …

Anon: *Slides angst onto table*

Me: (in a very suspicious and obviously trying to not be obvious outfit) *snatches the angst and runs away with an evil cackle.*

If you can't tell, angst is my favorite and OMG I absolutely love this idea I'm drooling over it as we speak. Sadly though I feel like my last knives fix was rushed so I'm going to try and write this one better for you.

IT'S A GOOD THING I CAN'T DIE --- Millions Knives

SUMMARY: How could he ever do something like this. And why to you of all people?

WARNING: Death, descriptions of death, mutilation, trauma.

⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝

He has always seen himself as being incapable of caring for someone else. Humans are especially at the top of this list, they are the very thing he's worked so hard to get rid of and yet, he let one walk right into his life. You slowly took over everything he did, his planning became filled with ensuring you had food to eat, finding you a place to sleep and keeping you safe. He kept you in his company, even while you slept, just in fear of what others might do to you. He knows his disciples don't like you, they'd even go as far as killing you, but Knives, he would never hurt you. Never has the day come that he has ever thought about laying a hand on you and if he dared, he might mutilate himself.

The time for that day fills with its unprecedented arrival and it swallows him whole, eating him alive with guilt. In this moment he stands frozen, unable to think or move. Beyond the door he attacked had come a name, his name, in your voice of all things. In his worst nightmares he's dreamt of this but... was it really you?

Just hours before this he had seen a horrific sight, one he hopes will be wiped from his mind forever, an image of you laying in a pool of blood. Impaling every open spot of your skin is nails, each of them driving through to the floor and mangling you beyond recognition. Maybe it wasn't you that he saw, his mind was just playing a trick on him. At this point, he's too scared to break himself from this trance, he doesn't want to know what dead body lies outside that door. He knows he has to check it soon or he might lose his mind at the thought of killing you.

Pulling out of the trance, his tendrils hook the door and relieve it from its place upon the hinges. It snaps with a loud crack as he pulls it away and sets it to the side. Even with the ability to see the body laying in his doorway, Knives is too scared to look. He refuses to bring his eyes forward, and looks away. If the blood seeping into the carpet was yours, what would he do? Would he actually kill himself? Without you, what would he do?

Knives begins to gather the courage to look down at the body in his doorway, casting his eyes to the figure, it runs his blood dry.

The blood covers the whole room outside, it makes his stomach churn at the sight. Saliva fills his mouth, Knives keels over from the sudden intrusion and opens his mouth to let his stomachs contents pour out. Without it being any substantial food at all, it burns the back of his throat with bial. Tears build and blur his eyesight, keeping him from making out the full body, but he didn't have to look that long to know who it was.

Falling apart around him feels like the world, his last line of sanity, the only thing he cared for has been stripped away and by his own hands. If only he had inspected the first body closer he might not have killed you in a fit of rage, he might be able to salvage any sanity still left over, but it's long demented. Simmering in the juices of hysteria.

To his knees, he falls. First Vash and now you. This couldn't really be happening could it? The body before him smells of you, but how could it really be you? Why did you step in at the wrong time? Why did he fail?

From his throat erupts a scream of raw, unadulterated, pain. It's sad and pulled with sorrow before it delves back down into a low sinister cackle. Hysterical to no end, Knives finally loses it. Everything he's lived for up until now could go to waste, and everyone else better swear to God for their safety, if anyone touches you he might not step back over the edge. Any drop of sanity he might just have left, will be gone. Not even Vash would be able to bring him back.

[eddiemunsonownsme]

For niragi

Could you do sfw and nsfw headcannons for him but if he loved the fem reader since they were both bullied and grew up together but reader is shy and oblivious

Fem shy virgin reader plz

Niragi x reader (Clean) P1

Yes, I love this idea. Though I think Imma make it a 2 part so that the minors can read the sfw part you know?

Request by: @stygianoir

Pairing: Niragi x f!reader

Summary: Niragi and the reader were both bullied and grew up together, eventually they bond and start dating. Now I'm making headcanons for you and him during this situation. There will be three parts, before, during, and after the Borderlands. It's set before the Borderlands.

Warnings: Mentions of sex under the cut

SFW

Before the Borderlands

Your relationship with Niragi started at a very young age, given the fact that you were neighbors.

However, you two didn't really acknowledge each other until you were a bit older, mainly in high school and all throughout university.

But the reasons why your relationship got stronger weren't exactly the best, you both got bullied, very often. First, they started bullying you and once Niragi tried to make them stop, they started bullying him too

The kids always found something to bully you about, whether it was Niragi's glasses, haircut, or your inability to catch sarcasm, it didn't matter, they would use it against you if they had the chance.

You'd try to shelter him from the bullying, putting yourself in front of him to take the hits and save him from it, but given your shortness and shyness not much could be done, it made the bullies laugh at your attempt to protect him, usually insulting his masculinity and so on, but he found it endearing, how you were willing to try to help him.

Eventually, you'd start bonding over this, and also your mutual love for dark humor and sometimes sharing your Intrusive thoughts

Later on, feelings of friendship became more and you started dancing around each other with something like love but not quite it, both of being pretty closed after all those years of abuse and bullying.

After a lot of time, he eventually confesses his feelings to you, which takes a lot of effort from him because he's not one to talk about emotions but he makes it work.

In your relationship there's:

Empathy and Understanding - given that both of you have been through the same pain and trauma you have a deep understanding of the possible fears of the other, this leads to you two having a very strong and supportive relationship

Shared identity - Being bullied together can create a sense of shared identity for the victims (yes, I read some articles about it to make sure that it's true), basically bringing a lot of comfort and validation

Desired sense of healing - (at least with real-world Niragi) Both of you desire to heal from the trauma and bullying, so you'll support each other to get through it

But you two also face certain challenges, such as anger issues, mostly from Niragi that you both try to work on so that he doesn't become agressive, or triggering moments or experiences (flashbaks or so) mostly for you, he tries to comfort you as much as he can.

During the Borderland

You and him were separated during most of this time, you were on the other side of the city trying to survive some of the hardest games, usually the ones including sports while he joined the Beach and became a bit more (a lot more) crazy than he was before, now that he didn't have you to keep his anger under control (not in a bad way though) he did whtever he wanted, not caring one bit if anyone got hurt.

You only meet again after Arisu's "Light Bulb" game, you had been hearing rumors about The Beach and how it was a wannabe paradise, so you and two other players who had become your friends tried to look around and see if it was a good idea to join or not. You ended up getting taken by the men of the Hatter (basically the same that happened to Arisu) in the end you convinced them so that they let you stay, sadly your friends weren't allowed. Obviously, the change of clothes is not very cool, and you start to feel exposed, more than you like, as you walk through the crowd you feel all eyes on you, which you don't like. That's until Aguni and his men come and suddenly all eyes are on them, of course, you look at them and you see this one face that seems familiar. Then Aguni starts his speech and all that, suddenly, Niragi starts calling out to the newbies to come meet him privately (like he did to Usagi) because we all know how he is. When he sees that you don't walk towards them (he hasn't recognized you yet) he gets closer to you and yanks your arm so that you get closer to him. That's when he recognizes you, and he is completely shocked, because for all that he knew you were long dead, so he's pleased to see you again, but he doesn't forget where he is or who he is, so he keeps up the act, takes your arm roughly and takes you to his room. Tells his goons to go away and finally you two are alone.

(To be continued)

[nozomi-kaizoku]

"Luca, your behavior is concerning, you need to delete your vent account!!!! "

Yap Yap Yap, you're acting as if I'm even REPARABLE at this point.

I'm working with a therapist, YandereDev has already addressed the allegations against him (AND IS GETTING HELP FOR IT), and just because I identify as an incel/femcel doesn't mean I'm gonna suddenly become this misogynistic pedo who has the most fucked up views about women you had ever seen in your life.

Let me educate you on something:

Incel literally just means "involuntary celebate", which basically means you are not able to engage in sexual activity due to ostracization and shunning (which is my case due to me being borderline and autistic and having to face the stigma surrounding my disabilities), and Femcel is the female/feminine counterpart.

it was a movement back in the 1990's - early 2000's as a way of uplifting those who became incels due to them being in a minority group, but sadly the original movement was abandoned due to how commonly associated it was with genuinely bad people.

Today, most of the self-identified incels/femcels are teenagers with ongoing mental health struggles who believe this label fits their experiences. These people (including myself) do NOT associate with anyone with intentions of doing harm to others.

As for the intrusive thoughts about killing my teacher: that was the result of constant dismissal and invalidation of my mental health struggles and due to the ongoing stress that has caused me. (I should mention that in therapy, I discovered that one of my biggest triggers is invalidation, and when I get triggered, I REALLY get triggered.), but I already did a threat assessment and I am speaking with my therapist as needed.

Also should mention: I have spoken with yandereDev directly a couple times (mainly to ask him questions), and out of all the times we spoke, he has not ONCE shown any interest or desire to be in a romantic/sexual relationship with me, in fact he's actually been keeping his distance (as a content creator should with their fans), so don't say he's trying to "gRoOm" me.

And do you REALLY think I'm gonna ask him out now??? At 17 years old????? FUCK NO, that's gonna hurt both me and yandereDev.

I'm waiting until I am 18 years old to attempt to be in a relationship with him, and by then I will the age of consent, therefore I would be able to consent to a relationship with him.

And as a final note: the people engaging with my content are not doing it to "enable" any genuinely bad behavior, I have stated myself that people can reblog my posts if they find it relatable. And people are engaging with my content because, well, they find it relatable. They share similar experiences as I do. Are those people in the wrong now because they had experiences in their lives and saw my posts and understand how I feel?

Honestly, idc if you're "concerned" or not, but you can't force me to delete my vent blog because you're upset that I happen to have a space where I am comfortable with talking about my mental health struggles. Why are you even looking at it anyway if you're THAT concerned about my posts? It feels a lot like you're just scrolling through my blog and cherry picking the posts that "concern" you.

Fucking weirdo....

If you're that bothered, just block it. I can assure you that I am okay and will get help if needed.

Don't like? Don't interact.

Thank you.

[strangestcase]

Honestly I hate how the fandom logic of "I like this villain but only bad people like villains and I know I am a good person therefore this villain isn't evil just misunderstood" has pervaded Jekyll and Hyde fanon on Tumblr.com because I believe a lot of (popular) fan versions of Hyde are beyond boring. They're not villains, just a nebulous "naughty", a man that has the aesthetic of evil but lacks the guts to enact it, the sort of person that calls their impulse to eat chips "intrusive thoughts".

The "not evil just misunderstood" route is VERY hard to apply to Mr. Hyde because, as a character, he IS evil, very evil, and impossible to misunderstand once his true nature is made evident- all he is is visible. He can't conceal his evil even if he tries.

That doesn't mean he can't be complex or sympathetic (and in my opinion he is both those things), but in the eyes of the fandom, complex and sympathetic = good person, or at least, non-evil person... so that makes Hyde go from a terrifyingly tangible incarnation of what happens when you repress the darkness and never work to fix it... to a """"chaos gremlin"""" that is violent but not too violent, murderous but not too bloody, weird but unlikeable, off-putting but not unpleasant.

I think that The Glass Scientists -a somewhat Tumblr popular adaptation that can be described as loose at best- poisoned the fanon well to a point by taking a clumsily executed "not evil just misunderstood" route with Hyde (...which I don't really get since in the concept art stage, Hyde was very much a straight up irredeemable villain, even if he also was a comedic relief character). The gothic literature fandom is, sadly, fond of its fandom groupthink. If this adaptation, which we collectively see as good (note the "see"; I personally don't think TGS is a good adaptation in part because of that very OOC depiction of Mr. Hyde), does this, then we can do it too!

Funnily enough, the fandom also likes murderous, irredeemable Hydes like the MazM version -a complete bastard that is implied to sexually assault a woman at some point- and the musical version -a complete bastard that EXPLICITLY sexually assaults, abuses, AND kills a woman-... but it can be explained away by a simple fact: MazM and musical Hyde are conventionally attractive. TGS Hyde, who was often hailed as the most accurate adaptation there could be back in the day, is also conventionally attractive (...but he wasn't in his concept art stage, in which, I reiterate, he was genuinely evil and frightening).

Compare and contrast with LXG movie Hyde, whose personality is a carbon copy from the original's, down to the speech patterns, but is hated across the fandom for not having a book accurate design (and for being ugly... like his book counterpart).

I feel like the fandom has fallen into the trap Jekyll would have wanted you to fall into: assuming that, because he's handsome, and "nice", he is without fault.

So, Hyde's evil is in character and a trait like any other if Hyde is handsome, but if he is ugly like he was in the book, or if the adaptation -wrongly- takes it one step further and gives him a facial difference (which I will agree, is pretty fucked up), then Hyde's evil is totally out of character and overblown and exaggerated and Not At All What He Was Like In The Book (in which, as we all know, he was just a misunderstood weird guy that just so happened to have bad vibes! everybody pity him!).

[postive-rainworld-anarchy-conf]

forging a screenshot is a work of art.,= I can't even be mad

you have to pretend to be the person you're doctoring and you have to get into their skin and wear their face and there is something so deliciously intimate about all that. All of that effort and masquerading just to ruin them. you become a horrible fucked up version of the person you're trying to frame doesn't get rid of the fact that that's a fucked up thing to do. but I would love to read fanfiction about it. the agony of knowing someone is actively pretending to be you and saying horrible things to the people you know and irreversably ruining how others see you. it's like your intrusive thoughts were given agency and a separate body to act independently of you and fuck up your life

you. thank you for this idea, if you find something or make something like this please I beg of you send it to me.

this is such a wonderful concept. I would love to see this.

sadly I am currently writing other things. but there are so many possibilities.

[hmshermitcraft]

Gem has low self-esteem, it's barely there. She thinks that she isn't good enough for the hermits. It's not true, it really isn't. The hermits love her with their whole hearts. Still, Gem can't help but think as if she doesn't deserve to be a hermit, as if she's useless, as if she's just someone in the background. As if she could just easily be replaced. She has nightmares about it actually, whenever she wakes up, she fears the hermits have replaced her. This sadly leads to some... self harm.

Gem knows, logically, that the hermits love her. That the hermits have said that they wouldn’t trade their Gemstone for anything in the world. That the hermits have said time and time again that she is more than good enough. She knows that. It’s just too bad her heart and intrusive thoughts and depression have a different way of thinking.

She has all the nice things they’ve said to her tucked up close to her heart. But sometimes she can’t help but wonder and question. Especially when there’s silence. When there’s nothing around to do. She wonders if they truly mean it or if they just pity her. And then starts the cycle of hating herself for doubting the hermits. And then paranoia. And then guilt. It’s a cycle that seems impossible to escape.

Before she knows it, she hadn’t even realized it, she’s awake. High alert. Thoughts racing. She hadn’t even noticed she fell asleep. Did she really fall asleep? Or was it real? Is she still dreaming? She can’t be dreaming, she can’t, her dreams are almost always bad.

She doesn’t even realize what had happened until a parts of her body sting with pain she hadn’t realized was there. And then she cries.

After an unknown amount of time, she can hear voices. Oh. It’s the other hermits. She tries to explain, but she can’t. Her voice won’t work. But the hermits won’t force her to explain, they just gentle clean her up, telling her what they do before doing it, all the while speaking in a soft voice.

Time and actions blur again, and the next time Gem is more or less aware of her surroundings, she finds she’s tired again. And normally, she would be opposed to sleep, but more than a few of her lovers are there with her. Not enough to overwhelm her with people, but enough that she can feel their concern and care. She wants to apologize for them having to see her like that, but she can’t bring her self to break this spell-like/trance-like moment. Instead, she closes her eyes and has a dreamless sleep. Her lovers will be with her when she wakes up. They wouldn’t dare leave while their Gemstone is so emotionally fragile. No matter how many times this cycle repeats, they’ll always be their for their darling Gemstone.

(Just a note from Mod Sleepy, I hope this is okay and what you were expecting. If you or anyone are reading this for comfort, I hope life will ease up on you. You’re doing well going one step at a time. It’s okay if you need a rest and it’s okay if you stumble and fall as long as you try and get up again. I believe in you)

[loveyourlovelysoul]

Your words are very comforting on my worst days, so first I just want to thank you for taking the time 💕

On some of my worst days I feel so undeserving of them and the mercy they hold. I did a monstrous thing as a child and where I have been deeply working on it through shadow work, some days I feel just so damn unworthy of kindness and understanding. What I did was morally reprehensible, and I never did it again but it haunts me. I've come to terms with it and even came to accept it and forgive myself, but it still hurts.

I keep telling myself 'I am capable of monstrous things but I am not a monster' but on these kind of days my mantra falls flat and holds no panacea for me.

Are there any techniques or advice on how to work through my intrusive thoughts? I appreciate anything but understand if otherwise, I am grateful for your just listening to me cry.

Hey :)

First of all, Idk what monstruous things you did as a child (or what you were made believe by people or by your mind/memory that was so monstruous and morally reprehensible: I honestly dunno about it so forgive me if I am telling you something that doesn't resonate, but at times it happens that something we did in our past, especially as children, may feel even heavier/worse than how it actually was as it is made bigger through our emotions of that time and how guilty we felt or how we were reprimanded), but I do understand that you still feel guilty and unworthy because of it. It's what this type of traumas are about: they're hard to overcome in our emotions and minds and it's totally normal to still have bad days, experience fallbacks and feel so unworthy and undeserving.

What can I suggest you (depite I am not a professional figure or anything, so please only take as resonates) is to give yourself more time to accept yourself and give yourself closure about what happened (that inner wound of you having made such a "big unforgivable/unsolvable mistake" feels still so open in you and I am sorry cause you really don't deserve it). Give yourself love, welcome your child self and forgive them too cause very likely they didn't know what they were doing or they didn't feel it was as bad or... whatever else. Sadly we cannot change our past, we did what we did, no matter of what kind it was we had our reasons that very likely our adult self can't remember, but we can change how we look at it and show the kindness and understanding we receive from others to our child self too, especially if they didn't feel it back then. Especially if they weren't aware of what they were doing or of the consequences it had (both if they were made worse by others' reactions or not). You're not a monster ofc, and to be honest everyone is able to do terrible things on this Earth: look at what is going on in the world right now. You're not a bad person for having done something bad once, even more if you weren't aware of its true nature beforehands (or you simply felt it wasn't that bad and wanted to try for any reason, even others pushing you to do it).

Maybe you can try and show even more forgiveness to yourself by giving/gifting yourself something on your good days, but even more on your bad days: make yourself a cup of tea or a nice meal (hopefully I'm not triggering you here), do anything you like, go for a walk to relax, make your bed nicely, take a nice bubble bath, hug yourself/put on lotions... at first it may feel uncomfortable as your mind may tell you that you not deserve so much attention and love, but honestly you do. Go slow anyway and do not force it if at times you cannot make it cause the guilt is too much to bear with. Be open about your feelings, even those that hurt. Maybe journal about them if it can help you let them out and put stuff into a better perspective (maybe you can buy yourself a small gift like a pen and a notebook so that you can journal there and doodle too if you like that). You know, as you just told me, you have never done that again and won't ever do it again, so remind yourself that you learned the lesson and that you have already grown apart from that whenever you start spiralling. You now deserve peace of mind and lot of love. I think this impeding memory maybe wants you to focus on your unworthiness (that may get triggered by other events on the daily) more than on that specific event (which may be just a reinforcement cause of how big it still feels in you). Try to remind yourself you're worthy and deserving and lovely anyway even if it seems so impossible. Keep giving love to you. Take care<3

[natsmagi]

(future au anon) thanks!! And yeaaah making this au is REALLY fun, making aus with friends is always so fun tbh! (Reminds me i also have a Wonderland AU that i love very much but it's more HiiKohaAi centered bc i love them very much)

ALSO TRUE NTGM COULD'VE SUCH COOL UNCLES..But we killed Tsumugi😭 amsorry

Anywayy time to tell u more about Kiiko Suou :) any pronouns but mostly uses he/they also made by me

First of all they're a producer!! Though deep inside he do want to be an idol it's just huuum let's say he doesn't think the best of himself and they think it's better for them to not "be in the spotlight" and be a "support role instead" but that ties with his backstory that I'll explain now

(*cough* and they created an illegal unit with other fanchildren anyway *cough*)

So!! Kiiko being the next Suou heir has well a lot of expectations put on them by the family ever since...he was born, honestly

But they mostly inherited of Sora eccentricity, energy, and even some of his speaking pattern + the synesthesia. Kiiko is way closer to Sora anyway and despite caring about his child a lot Tsukasa doesn't spend much time with them since he's VERY busy with looots of stuff (Family business + becoming new Pres of NewDi + being leader of Knights + protecting Kohaku's daughter from the Oukawa dirty work bad Kasa putting ur niece before ur own son)

Anywayy but hum the angst part (there always is one) of Kiiko's backstory is the Suous. Weren't very accepting of him. He acted way too energetically to their liking and it didn't help Kiiko actually have some sort of intrusive thoughts...so basically they would think and say very inappropriate things and give crazy and dangerous ideas without realizing (for example..uh well the illegal unit idea came from Kiiko and the others went along with it lol. Guess I'll try to elaborate on this unit later on huh)

Also didn't help that Tsukasa actually had a daughter with Tori beforehand (i also ship Torikasa) and well since it's Tori taking care of her now (Torikasa didn't last in this au sadly but it's fine theres Sorakasa) she's supposed to be the Himemiyas heir now but the Suous also want her to be their heir bc they consider her way more fitting for the role. And so they often compare Yui (Torikasa kid) and Kiiko like "you should take example on her and act more disciplined" and similar stuff

(and the synesthesia just made all of the Suous disappointment impact on Kiiko even worse,,)

SOO conclusion Kiiko thinks it would be bad for him to be an idol bc he'll be too much in the spotlight and will Very Probably mess up bc of their intrusive thoughts so they just choose to be a supporting role, aka producer (...and still messed up anyway but its fine Kiiko we luv u anyway)

And Kiiko suggested the illegal unit idea out of good will, too :) bc basically i have another fanchild, a MadaAnzu one (or whatever the ship name is), Yumeto, who's also a producer, but also dreams to be an idol. and he tried, he really did, he took the entry exam two times...but failed both times. So he just became a producer instead bc its the closest he can get to his dream

So ofc Kiiko and Yumeto become very close as both producers (*cough* they're a ship *cough*) and Yumeto end up venting to Kiiko about his dreams being crushed, and that's when Kiiko is like "Then just perform illegally! :D"

Yumeto ended up accepting and convincing Kiiko to perform illegally with him, except that their roommate, Setsuko (made by my friend, she's an Izuleo kid), kind of heard them on accident...and uh long story short she joins the illegal unit!

By illegal unit i mean that they're not registered on paper and just. Invade stages. To perform. Illegally (ofc they're disguised when they do)

GOD BEFORE I KNEW IT I ENDED UP RAMBLING SM IM SORRY AIVZVIPYGZ

HELP ITS OKAY THEYRE FUN READS!! i love the amnt of thought and care put into these lil guys....... and theyve got alot of really cool depth and character to them that makes everything tie together so nicely....... TBH I DONT REALLY HAVE MUCH LEFT TO SAY BUT I DO REALLY LIKE WHAT U HAVE GOING !! again while u dont have everything figured out rn what u DO have is enough to give it the feel of a complete story and thats super admirable!!

I HOPE THEY GET THEIR HAPPY ENDINGS THOUGH.......!!

[dolcid]

Comforting Them | Star Wars

Request: Can I make a request? Comforting the Star Wars boys pls - @cool--chicken

A/N: my first request!!!! 😃 also, Luke has two because I feel he would react differently? Lol

Anakin Skywalker

Comforting Anakin would take a lot of patience and lots of reassurance, Anakin has loads of self insecurity when it comes down to it, so you'd have to be very gentle while addressing him.

"Anakin? What's wrong love? Did something happen?" You'd ask him slowly, watching as he jumps slightly at your intrusion.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude, I was just worried about you." Hearing this would swell Anakin's breaking heart, his tears slowing.

"It's alright my love. I'm just irritated with the council, they don't think I deserve to be a jedi master." He would explain to you, holding himself. This action makes you frown, and you're quick to grab his hands and wrap them around you.

"You know you don't have to go through this alone, right? I'm always here when you need me Ani," you'd reassure him, feeling his grip tighten around your waist.

"Thank you, my love."

Obi-Wan Kenobi

Comforting Obi-Wan would be a rare occurrence. As he usually would either deal with it on his own or busy himself with work to distract his true emotions. The first time you comforted him was after Qui-Gonn died, the second was when he had to battle Anakin. After assuring Anakin's children were safe, he came to you, no emotions held back.

"Obi-Wan? What's happened? I got your holo," you would say, watching as he broke down in tears in front of you.

"Oh honey.." you would whisper, gently lulling his head into your chest.

"I'm here when you're ready to talk." You would assure him, rubbing slow circles onto his head, patiently waiting for him to calm down.

"Thank you, Darling. I don't know what I'd do without you,"

"You're strong, Obi-Wan. I know without a doubt you'll get through this."

Darth Maul

Comforting Maul would take a lot of patience and kind words, after losing the battle with Obi-Wan Kenobi, he would definitely have a damaged ego.

"Maul? Oh my love, what has happened to you?" You'd ask gently, taking in his new appearance. Savage told you of his battle with Kenobi and you were furious, how could anyone labeling themselves as a jedi attempt to kill someone? You were just thankful he was still alive.

"Darling? Oh my sweet, I have missed you" Maul would say, you both running into each others arms.

"I'm so glad you're okay," you'd whisper, rubbing gentle circles onto his temple.

"And you, my lady. I have been in need of you."

ANH!Luke Skywalker

Comforting Luke would consist of cuddling, smooches, and blankets. After losing Ben, Luke's mood was dampened. Something you hated to see, he was a ray of sunshine, he didn't deserve to be sad.

"Hey hon, how are you doing?" You'd ask, laying a soft blanket over his shoulders. He would smile sadly and shrug, thanking you for the blanket.

"I just can't believe he's gone," he'd say sadly. You frowned and sighed, wrapping your arms around him. He would accept the hug immediately, tucking his head into your neck.

"Oh honey...it'll be okay, alright? I'm here for you," you'd assure him, gently scratching his scalp and kissing his head.

ROTJ!Luke Skywalker

Comforting Luke after he becomes a jedi master would be difficult. He liked to deal with his emotions on his own now. So convincing him to share would take a lot of coaxing.

"Luke? I know something's wrong, you can't fool me," you'd say to him as he attempted to walk away from you. Everything he's been through really changed him.

"I told you I'm alright." He'd tell you again. You'd sigh and feel hurt, he used to be so open with you. Although after sensing your thoughts, he'd stop and turn to you.

"Look, I know you're a jedi master now but that doesn't mean you have to shut me out, I love you and will always be here for you." You'd tell him, not expecting for him to reply.

"Sweetheart, I-I'm sorry. I'm just dealing with the death of my father rather harshly....thank you, I love you too."

Han Solo

Comforting Han was a very rare occurrence. This man isn't known for being emotional, he would definitely deny being sad or needing comfort. You being you would just pull him into a hug. Han would most likely accept it.

"Han, quit being such a hard ass, everyone has feelings, even you!" You'd say to him, watching as he rolled his eyes. You knew he was faking, just being a tough guy for everyone. You'd sigh and yank him by his collar into a hug, Han nearly yelping.

"See? This isn't so bad, hm?" You'd say to him quietly, Han groaning in reply.

"Yeah yeah, its alright I suppose."

Darth Vader

Comforting Vader would be difficult. He's still stubborn Ani underneath so he'd probably attempt to deal with it on his own, or force choke someone daring to address him. Unless it was you, you're his weakness after all.

"Vader? What's wrong?" You'd ask him, gently placing your hand on his back. Vader would turn to you in silence, placing his hand along your cheek before answering.

"I'm quite alright, my love. Simply dealing with an issue." He'd say. You would sigh and nod, frowning at his stubbornness.

"You know I'm here for you, right? I always will be, you never have to deal with anything on your own." You'd assure him, feeling him gaze into your eyes.

"I know my love. Thank you."

Din Djarin

Comforting Din would be a process. He's stubborn like most of these guys are and would probably feel ashamed to need comfort. But due to you and Grogu, he'd feel bad for not sharing, so he'd eventually go to you.

"Cyar'ika?" He'd ask, his voice deep.

"What's wrong?" Of course you'd know, he's not very good at hiding his emotions from you.

"Nothing, I just..." he'd sigh, you immediately running into his arms to hold him.

"I'm here Din, always." He thanks the stars every night that he has you and Grogu.

Poe Dameron

Comforting Poe would probably be rather easy. When he's truly in need of comfort he wastes no time in finding you, that is if you don't find him first. Your wife senses go off when he's in need.

"Poe? Honey, I'm here." You'd say running up to him, cupping his cheeks in your palms.

"Oh baby...thank the force I have you," he'd breathe, securing his arms around your waist.

"Shh, c'mere hon," you'd whisper, gently pulling him into your neck, playing with his hair that rested on the nape of his neck.

"I love you, so much."

Kylo Ren

Comforting Kylo would be much like comforting Vader. Both are stubborn to no end and insist they are okay or can deal with it on their own. But unlike Vader he wouldn't be able to resist you as long, he ultimately gives in and accepts your comfort.

"Kylo, is everything okay?" You'd ask, resting your hand on his upper arm. He would stay silent, barely moving.

"Kylo, you know I'm here for you my love, no matter the problem," you'd assure him, watching as he broke and gave in, quickly pulling you into a hug. You'd accept immediately, and rub small circles onto his back.

"I love you."

Reblogs Appreciated!

[gold-pavilion]

Hello, Red! Pardon the intrusion, as I would like to invade your inbox in the name of science. BSD analysis to be precise. Some months ago I stumbled across your BSD analysis posts from your past blog and decided to save one in my reblog drafts for later reading and reblogging. Now I found that tumblr removed your "Notes on BSD geniuses" post entirely, meaning not even reblogs survive, but the post did remain in my drafts since April. Here is the copy of the text of the post, which I enjoyed very much and wanted to use as reference, in fact, together with some reblog additions that now sadly disappeared forever... Or at least I can't get them back, not even with wayback machine. Thank you for all your work! (I sure hope this post sends the complete text and doesn't secretly have a character limit fskdjgnfjk)

"NOTES ON BSD GENIUSES akai-koutei, via gold-pavilion

Ranpo, Dazai, Fyodor and Mori are the biggest players in the large-scale strategy games in BSD, but the smarts in which they excel and the way they play their hands are widely different. As expected, they’re effective in different scenarios, perform with different methods and have different limits.

Thanks to an ask I recently got about Ranpo, I thought it may be useful to someone to set apart each of them in regards to their individual talents and styles, what they do and don’t do with their own types of genius (as best as I can discern, of course), so… here’s my rundown of the master strategists, with quick n’ easy keywords for simplicity:

[image removed] RANPO: CLARITY & FORESIGHT

Ranpo’s genius is summed up with the fake ability built around it. Just like Ultra Deduction is supposed to provide him, Ranpo has the clearest of sights: when presented with a scenario, he’ll easily understand every element of it, why things are as they look and what’s beyond that. In this attention to detail and grand understanding, he’s unparalleled. His pure intelligence is the highest of all.

But it doesn’t end there. His deduction abilities also make him capable of projecting ahead, of predicting outcomes and happenings by analyzing the elements currently at hand, so he can look ahead as accurately as he can see the present. And generally, this includes people. He can understand behavior, motivation and intentions just as well as he can make any of his other calculations.

However, he uses this clarity and this foresight usually to expose culprits, to achieve confessions by confrontation or to work on his team’s strategies, but not as a means to control that person. He understands the human element of the equation terrifyingly well, as he understands everything, but doesn’t aim to manipulate it. (Unless, as he explained with Mushitarou, unless it’s absolutely necessary and he’s very very pissed, in which case he’s not entirely against psychological attack, but in general his benign moral alignment and his blunt approach to people don’t mix with that.) Actually, this respect he has for life in general and this upright intention can be considered a secondary skill of his, because they’re the reason his confrontations tends to end with people getting something out of the experience of opposing him and ending up as new strong allies, like Minoura, Poe and Mushitarou did.

[image removed] DAZAI: FORESIGHT & MANIPULATION

Dazai’s style has a big part in common with Ranpo’s, yeah. Namely, his ability to get ahead of the game by (understanding and) predicting, though in his case, it’s focused largely on behavior, on people in general. That’s where he differs and also where he excels: people. He strategizes a lot based on his ability to tell what individual people will do, how they’ll react, how they’ll think, what they’ll go for or how they’re likely to do it. In a game of strategy where personal motivation and individual wishes move the pieces so much, it’s a fantastic specialty.

This people-based focus shows its full capacity in his manipulation skill. Understanding others so well, it’s easy for him to prepare the stage and move the people through it without even having to tell them what he needs them to do (see: the entirety of Dead Apple haha). He just needs to set the conditions; the pieces will move on their own, in ways he can be prepared for. And if closer intervention is needed… well, part of his manipulation skill is in his charm and his capacity to act, so he can certainly get what he wants out of a person that way, too: with an encounter, a couple of words or a seemingly natural action. More often than not, people manipulated by Dazai will fail to realize they’ve been manipulated, or will only see it when it’s too late/there are no other options.

It’s worth noting that Dazai is very flexible; his intelligence by itself is very high and he has a lot of useful extra skills, like enough physical dexterity to get him out of trouble to a degree, lockpicking/pickpocketing and laying traps, but these are kind of like bonuses. They make him more versatile and capable, but aren’t his main thing.

[image removed] FYODOR: (DESTRUCTIVE) MANIPULATION & TEMPTATION

It’s probably no surprise to anyone if I say that Fyodor’s style has similarities to Dazai’s haha, but still, yeah. They’re indeed very similar. Like Dazai, he also has a base intelligence level that’s just insanely high (though both to a lower degree than Ranpo, as far as we’ve seen in the midst of the DoA arc) and his own extra skills, such as his capacity as a hacker. This is utilized as an available tool for his schemes, but is also not the main basis they’re built on.

The manipulation keyword is shared between him and Dazai, and in the main gist of it, works the same: understanding people, being able to get into their heads and through that, either implant in them new decisions that fit his agenda in such a way that the person won’t realize they’ve been led, or let them act in their natural way if convenient. Leading a person this or that way as pawns on a chess board. However, there’s a big difference between how Dazai and Fyodor do this, which is what I mean with destructive manipulation: once Fyodor utilizes someone, he’ll usually not even leave the chance to have a new enemy or even a witness, instead he’ll dispose of the person (see: Karma). If not, the way he executes his needs is uncaring, and likely to leave the manipulated person broken; once he’s set up his use, he doesn’t care about their wellbeing or what happens with them (see: Shibusawa). His process of utilization may even involve breaking them (see: Goncharov). He doesn’t take care of his toys.

As for the temptation keyword, it’s the other part of his usual method, so characteristic of him that it stands out to me. Rather than being a huge charmer and an actor like Dazai is, Fyodor is a deal-maker. He finds what someone wishes for or needs (even being capable of isolating them or manipulating conditions to create such a need), and then simply presents it to them as a tempting bargain in exchange for whatever he needs. Sigma, Shibusawa and Mushitarou are big and clear examples.

[image removed] MORI: STRATEGY & ASSET USE

And then we have Mori, unique even among this small group. His style is mainly what I can only describe as strategy itself, pure and led by logic and probability; theory of game, in a way. Mori also has a great deal of intelligence, combined with a level head that allows him to make sure to act, in every instance, in the way that benefits him (or rather, his organization, since he’s playing for the Port Mafia overall) the most; if unclear, then what has the highest chance of success with the best balance of risk will do. He’s able to understand and foresee enough to determine what that beneficial course of action will be.

Then, there’s his asset use, or what can be called the skill of command. Mori’s method is not independent, he’s the leader of a strong and unified organization (because he’s shaped it so), and as such, will most often be using his various divisions and subordinates and their talents. Seeing what someone is good for and leading them to the role in which their capacities can grow and shine is a true commander’s quality, and he possesses it. Gauging who and what he can dispose of and when to sacrifice is included, as is having a balance of when to control and when to let his subordinates act on their own. Be it goods, influences, situations, persons or anything, seeing what’s available and how it can be matched and used to higher advantage has been part of his modus operandi from the past, all the way to the present.

I hope these explanations put it into good perspective, but I’ll point out, for good measure, that asset use and manipulation are different things. Both involve using people as pawns, but when it comes to asset use, there’s an element of willingness and trust from the subordinates involved that sets it apart. Mori seems to be the hardest one to understand in general, with the most confusion and misinterpretation around him and what he does since he’s controversial to some, but following the principles of benefit and strategy, his genius can easily end up being the clearest.

As always, this is merely my interpretation and a rundown of the ideas I personally use to track of each of the strategists’ characterization. As much as I try to base my reasoning on canon as best as I can, I’m never claiming to have the final word. Grab this if it’s useful for you! But always take with a grain of salt."

I wish I could have saved more in my drafts OTL sigh...

YOOOOOOO THAT'S AMAZING

THAT'S SUCH A LUCKY BREAK!! My friend Sofi was just telling me the other day that she was helping someone find that post, cause of the deletion of all the stuff from my old blog.

It sucks, but it's also dumbness on my part to not keep backup of my posts. I just think "I talk so much about this series, and I'll keep talking, it's gonna be a mountain of talk" and get confused on what's worth storing! It's been nuts to me to find people wanting to save old posts, I'm mega thankful. (ON GOD I hope that doesn't sound egocentric LMAO I'm just glad!!)

But anyway!! I'll use this and a screenshot version I have of that content on my home laptop, and remake the post tonight!! You do have the entire entire text, so THANK YOUUUUUUU!!

[marvelsbanner]

Body, Mind, and Soul

Prompt: there simply needs to be more vision fic out there🥺 may i request a cute one where you've been going out for a while but the big L word hasn't been said yet and vis is just.. trying his best to tell you but doesn't know how🥺🥺 he's just so cute like that😭❤️ kissy i love ur stuff

Pairing: Vision x reader

Warnings: Slight language, tooth rotting fluff - beware of cavities 

Word Count: ~1700

A/n: Reblogs, likes, and feedback are very much appreciated! <3 All mistakes are my own! 

**I do not own marvel, sadly** **not my gif**

“Darling, may I speak with you for a moment?”

Vision phased through your walls to where you were sitting on your bed reading. Months ago you would have jumped straight out of your bones, startled by the synthezoid’s intrusion and lack of personal boundaries. In all honestly, it was no sooner after you had explained the concept of privacy and simple manners to Vision that you had come to look forward to his visits, not caring if he was intruding as long as he came to see you at all. 

It was strange, you’ll admit- very strange. You were the newest Avenger recruit, and the youngest (if you didn’t count that he was technically born a little over a year ago? He had the wisdom of a thousand year old sorcerer, so you didn’t think of him as younger) and so he had a naturally protective nature about him when it came to you. 

He always tried to be by your side during missions, saving your ass on multiple occasions. He never made you feel weak or like you needed protecting, but he was just always there for you. Not just in missions, but in everything. Joining the Avengers was a life changing decision that was not easy in any sense. You didn’t exactly have the prettiest past, which is partially what landed you there in the first place. You knew that none of the members there were exactly saints, but you couldn’t help but feel like you didn’t deserve the new chance at life you were given. Not to mention you had been hearing about the Avengers for years now, and in your mind it was hard to take them off of this pedestal of superhero-assassin-gods to simple coworkers and family. 

Vision could sense your uneasiness, they all could really- but he had no filter and no sense of boundaries and was the only one to confront you about it. You were taken aback at first, but it was truly exactly what you needed. 

He would bring dinner to your room, offering to sit with you as you ate- even though he didn’t need to himself. He brought you DVDs, claiming Wanda told him that they were what lifted her mood. When that didn’t work he tried bringing some old records that Tony recommended, eventually bringing some books from Steve’s “project modernization” stash that peaked your interest. Some nights he would sit with you as you read, reading over your shoulder or watching something on the tv, just content to be in your presence. You never asked him to, and you never asked why, but you also never asked him to leave. 

The dynamic between the two of was certainly an unlikely one, Steve even asking you at one point if he needed to tell the Synthezoid to back off before you assured him that it was fine. 

Somewhere along the way you found yourself falling for Vision, utterly terrified and mortified over the uncertainty of if he could even feel those kinds of feelings towards anyone in return. But then you would hear him laugh at one of your jokes, a real hearty laugh when the joke wasn’t even that funny- or that smile, that god damn smile that stretched across his entire face with those pearly whites that made your heart flutter in your chest, or even worse- the small, shy smile that he would give you when he didn’t think you could see him that brought a faint blush to your cheeks every time. It was in those moments you let yourself feel a slimmer of hope that he could maybe, just maybe feel the same way. 

He eventually figures out that he feels the same as well, after a long conversation he had with Tony and Bruce over whether those feelings should even be possible for him or not. He decides that whether or not he should be able to, he most definitely did, and suddenly fleeting glances and stolen cozy nights turned into hands intertwined under the table during meetings and stolen kisses in the compound halls. 

A year later and everyone knows that it’s never just y/n or Vision, you get the both of you or neither of you, because you were a team.

About a month after the two of you had confessed your feelings Vis had asked you to “go steady”, it was adorable really- he said he saw it in a movie and thought it was what most human couples still did, and he was so nervous and flustered and cute you couldn’t help but say yes. 

Boyfriend and girlfriend, partners in crime, lovers- whatever you wanted to call it, you were. The labels didn’t matter, all that mattered was that you knew how you felt about each other. At least, you hoped you did. 

Vis had been acting strangely lately. He seemed more nervous around you; he was stuttering and losing his train of thought- he would sometimes act like he had something important to say and would end up saying nothing at all. Sometimes he would bring you flowers out of nowhere or prepare a meal he knew you loved, just to disappear for the rest of the night and you weren’t sure what to make of it. Sometimes he would babble on and on about some sort of poetic metaphor and ask if you understood what he meant and when you didn’t he would just tell you to pretend he said nothing at all. 

So there he was, phasing through your wall and asking to talk and you could see a large bouquet of roses behind his hand and you weren’t sure whether to be excited or scared or all of the above, so you simply dog-eared your book and set it aside, patting the empty side of the bed next to you for him to sit. 

He settled on the floor before walking over to the side of the bed and sitting, revealing the bouquet of flowers fully before shyly offering them to you.

“I was informed bouquets are a romantic gesture appropriate for such occasions” he explained, hands fidgeting as he spoke, not making eye contact with you. 

“And what occasion is that?” You inquire, quirking a brow at his behavior. 

“Ah yes that, right, well..” He started before opening and closing his mouth a few times, unsure of how to go on. 

“Darling, I don’t have much to go on with this in terms of past experience- this is all very new to me as you know, however, I have come to understand that there is a certain point in relationships, romantic relationships that is, where the feelings that one has for the other might start to change.” He explains, fingers continuing to fidget and pull at another. 

“Vis.. if this is you wanting a break from me, from us- flowers don’t exactly portray that message clearly..” You reply, anxiety beginning to settle in your chest.

As soon as you say that, any worries at what he could be implying flood your mind as his face fills with distress.

“Oh no- darling, no, that’s not what I was getting at at all!” He hurriedly says, setting the flowers on the bed and taking your hands in his own. “No no, it’s quite the opposite actually! See, I’ve been wanting to tell you this for quite a while, months even! But I wasn’t sure when a good time would be, and no article online could give me a set answer and I didn’t know how you felt- I thought I did sometimes but other times I just couldn’t be sure and then on this last mission when you almost got hurt and I couldn’t bear the thought that-“ you cut off his rambling by taking his cold face in your hands, “Vis hunny, slow down. What is it you want to tell me?” You ask, finally getting him to meet your eyes. He looked more nervous now than he had been for any mission in the past. 

He hands came up to rest atop your own on his face, intertwining your fingers together as he spoke softly, “Well darling, I just- I just thought, we’ve been together for quite some time now, and I think I can safely say- maybe- I hope- that neither one of us want to be letting this go anytime soon and I, well I just thought you ought to know that I love you.” 

A smile immediately pulled at your lips, you had been so afraid just a moment ago that he wanted nothing to do with you and there he was, telling you that he wanted everything to do with you. You wanted to say it back, you wanted to scream it out but he was sitting there with his big anxious doe eyes and a small, nervous smile as he awaits for your answer and suddenly all your words fail you- so you pull him in to a kiss instead. 

It was sweet but not chaste, lips firmly planted against each other as you fought the urge to cry because he was so perfect and you felt more loved than you had ever felt before. Your hands clutched the sides of his face as he planted his on your shoulder blades, bringing you closer to him but never too forcefully- always giving you the option to retreat, but you never take it, and you never will. 

The two of you finally part, gasping for air as he searches your eyes to gouge your reaction and finds a singular stray tear, chasing it away with a swipe of his finger. 

“So, may I assume that this may be reciprocated?” He asks shyly and you laugh, the two of you laugh together with big smiles and open hearts and you assure him “Yes, Vis, I love you, I love you too. Body, mind, and soul.”

“Body, mind, and soul.” He repeats, a smile forming at his lips before he pulls you in for another kiss, the rest of the world melting away until it felt like only the two of you, like it was always meant to be. 

[ninja-go-to-therapy]

The Climb

Merry Christmas Eve babes :)

Summary: Pet doesn't know what his kidnappers' end goal is. But he intends to find out.

Trigger Warnings: kidnapping, pet whump, mentioned drowning, dehumanization, referenced physical and mental abuse, general Damage warnings

1067 words

They weren’t letting him go.

The strangers kept him locked in a room — a person sort of room — coming in every so often with their manipulation tactics and trying to convince him that they were trying to help.

Yeah, right.

It had been so long. He’d lost count of the days, he didn’t know — and that frightened him.

He missed Master dearly. He hoped, prayed that he was alright, that these people hadn’t hurt him. The thought haunted his nightmares.

He just needed to wait it out. Master would come for him. As long as he kept being good. As long as he didn’t give in to these people.

Pet curled in on himself, facing away from the door that he knew would open soon.

He missed the chill in the air that always came with his room. This room was too — he didn’t know. It wasn’t warm. It wasn’t cold. It just was. The lack of discomfort was discomforting.

Somewhere behind him, the door creaked open.

“Cole?”

Pet stayed perfectly still, refusing to face whichever one it was today. It sounded like the red one.

“Hey, bro…”

Silence.

“I brought you some food. Do you think you could try to eat it?”

He hated when they brought him food. It was so conflicting. Master would hate him for accepting such a thing from an enemy, but at the same time, if he didn’t eat, he would die. Master would be devastated if he died.

Begrudgingly, Pet sat up to face the ninja.

His face brightened considerably. “Thank you. I mean it.”

Pet glared at the floor, crossing his arms. He hated these people. He wanted them to leave him alone.

The ninja was sitting opposite him on the floor. He slid the tray of food over to him.

“Do you remember the time Sensei Yang turned you into a ghost?” he eventually asked.

He didn’t like that name. He didn’t understand why.

“We were trapped in his haunted temple all night, and we had to face our worst fears.”

Pet gnawed on the food anxiously, trying to drown out his words.

The ninja laughed sadly, though somewhat fond. “I remember we scared you, we made you think there was a ghost in the clock.”

Shut up.

“My fear was drowning. Water started spilling out from a painting and filled the whole room.”

Shut up!

“Cole.”

Something about the severity of the word made him look up, meeting the boy’s eyes. In this moment, he didn’t look like the evil person he was.

“I have a new fear, now. It’s this, right here. It’s you hurting like this. It’s me being unable to help.”

Why was Pet getting almost emotional about this?

The boy took Pet’s hand in his. “I would drown a thousand times if it meant I could keep you safe.”

Pet stared at him for a long time before having the sense to yank his hand away. He wasn’t to be touched by anyone other than his Master.

He needed to get out of here.

Because for the briefest of moments, he’d almost felt something for this boy sitting across from him.

He’d almost succumbed to his lie.

He needed to escape from this place. Immediately.

———

Pet waited until nightfall, and then some, before eventually working up the courage to open the weirdly unlocked door.

Master never left the door unlocked.

He thought a group of thieves like them would have the common sense to lock their doors, but maybe they were stupider than they seemed.

As he shut the door, he turned to face the hallway — only to come face to face with the green one.

Pet froze, unsure of what to do. He’d been caught.

“What are you doing?” the boy asked, eyes narrowed.

Pet bolted.

The green one shouted, chasing after him.

Shit.

He didn’t know this place well enough to navigate anything.

He threw open a door, only to find that it was yet another bedroom, where the girl ninja bolted upright at the intrusion.

“Nya!” the green one yelled as Pet frantically backtracked and raced down the hall. “I need your help now please!”

By some miracle, Pet managed to make it outside. Maybe he could make it. Maybe he could — wait. The doors to the courtyard wouldn’t — they wouldn’t budge.

No.

He pounded his fists against the doors, but they just wouldn’t open.

Please, he just wanted to go home — the two ninja had him cornered.

“Cole,” the girl ninja instructed, “we don’t want to hurt you. Just take some nice deep breaths, okay?”

There was nowhere he could run.

The two of them approached him slowly.

What were they going to do to him? They were going to be furious that he’d tried to escape.

“It’s okay,” the green one said, his hands up in the air. “I promise we won’t hurt you.”

That wasn’t right. Of course they would hurt him. He’d tried to get away from them. They were going to punish him severely for that.

The girl gently touched his shoulder. “You’re okay. You’re okay.”

Nothing about this was okay.

He didn’t fight as they took him back to the room. Whatever punishment was coming didn’t need to be made worse by his struggling.

Pet sat on the floor, staring down numbly as lazy tears blurred his vision.

“Listen to me,” the green one said softly. “I love you. I know you don’t believe me and I think that probably hurts more than my dad not loving me anymore — that’s not the point. I love you. We all do. We just want what’s best for you.”

Pet glared at the floor, his tears escaping and rolling down his face.

“What’s best for me,” he muttered, not bothering to look at either of them, “is letting me go home.”

He shouldn’t have said that. They were going to be so angry that he’d said that.

The silence dragged on for too long.

“Try to get some rest,” the girl eventually said.

The pair didn’t leave, like they usually did. Probably to ensure he didn’t try to run again. But they did stop trying to talk to him, and that was… not much.

But what was weirder? They didn’t hurt him.

They didn’t shout at him. They didn’t hit him. Nothing.

That wasn’t right. That wasn’t right at all.

What kind of game were they playing?

[dimensionwriter]

100 Days

Part One

Alien x Reader

Warning: None

Word Count: 1947

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Okay so this is just an experiment in a way. So just remember to LIKE, COMMENT and REBLOG. I'll appreciate it.

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The creature floated in front of you in a giant alien containment. The container was 12 feet wide and 10 feet tall. The liquid that filled it was enriched with a substance that would allow the creature to continue to thrive even while being out of it's native world.

"How is experiment 337?" A deep voice buzzed in your ear. You jumped at the intrusive noise that disturbed the silence in the room. You sometimes forget that this is actually a job.

"Still unconscious, sir," you reported walking around the containment to look at it's sleeping form.

The creature had grayish blue skin that turned black once it reached it's appendages. It was bipedal with the legs thick and muscular. They had a set of arms that extended from it's shoulder, similars to a human. A second and third set of arms came from their spine and wrapped forward. A thick tail came from it's back and had a length of 3 feet and 2 inches.

"The vitals?" The voice demanded. You held in a sigh and walked over to the computer showing all the vitals. The things on the screen was a lot more complicated than that of a human.

"Fine, I believe. Though, the second heart has slowed down a lot in the last hour. Maybe get one of the doctors to come up here to check them out," you stated sliding through the chart the computer made on the creature's health. You guys didn't know how their normal health looked, so you just take the health they come in as normal and report any change in it.

"Damn thing might be trying to die on us. Well, it's not like it's giving us much information while it's unconscious, so might be a good thing." He ended it with a bark of laughter. You didn't join him as you rolled your eyes at him. He truly didn't have any patience. Some of the creatures that get sent here are here for months before they even begin to show some signs of responsiveness.

"Okay, sir. Please send that doctor in here," you quickly said before tapping your ear piece. You just had to get the boss that's the worse. He does not care for these creatures at all.

"You requested me," a montone voice asked. You turned around to see your vector's doctor walking in. They had a heavy set of bags under their eyes that showed how busy they were.

"Yeah, experiment 337's second heart rate seem to have slowed down," you explain pulling up the chart to show them. They leaned over your shoulder to look at them.

"I'll check on them. You can start your lunch break if you would like," they said looking over at you with a raised eyebrow. You pulled your lab coat back to look at your watch. Your break was supposed to start 20 minutes ago.

"Thanks. You can write anything you find in the notes under Experiment 337. I will see them there if you leave before I'm back," you rambled running around to grab your stuff. It's protocol to leave none of your things behind since you don't know what these creatures can do.

You took off your lab jacket and threw it in the waste bin. Glancing at the doctor, you could already see they were working on the creature. Hopefully nothing is wrong with them.

An hour later, you scan your ID at the door. It open slowly allowing you to see the empty room. Well except for the container with all the machinery hooked up to it. The doctor seem to be gone.

You threw your stuff on the free table and walked over to the metal closet. Inside of here were fresh and sterlized lab coats. There was also some gloves, but that was used if you could touch your experiment. And since yours were unconscious at the moment, it meant that you wouldn't be making any contact for a while.

"Examiner!" Someone yelled causing you to jump. You spun around towards the sound to see the doctor in the container. Their eyes were widen in panic as they struggled in the liquid.

"What? How?!" You stumbled while running to the container. You went to the computer to pull up the container's system. You have ot get them out.

"The creature. He woke up in the middle of me checking on him and he got out. I tried to push the panic alarm, but he sealed me in here. Hurry, get me out!" Their voice yelled out in fear. You stopped typing and turned slowly to the doctor.

"I noticed you said 'he' a lot. We usually say an alien is a they," you said lifting an eyebrow at the 'doctor'. They stopped thrashing and just floated. Since they weren't moving, you could see all the things hooked into them. No alien trying to escape would take the time to stick all those things into a person.

"Hmm, I thought I would identify closest to a male on this planet." The doctor's voice dropped two octaves causing your eyes to widen.

"You can shape shift," you screamed happily running to the glass. He looked exactly like the doctor. He even copied the mole hidden under their hair.

"What about it? You can't," he teased you raising a single eyebrow. It felt weird seeing the doctor, but having the actions and voice be so different.

"Can you please change? I have plenty of questions I want to ask you," you said going back to the computer. You closed the coding for the containment and pulled up the notes on this creature.

"Is this better, babe?" Your fingers froze as you turned your head slowly to the right. The creature was pressed against the glass closest to you. But instead of seeing an alien, you saw yourself.

"What's wrong, cat got your tongue?" The creature teased in your voice. A giant smirk slipped onto your face that looked so unnatural on you. "Well, I guess it's more like I have your tongue."

Laughter came out of your mouth as the creature started floating around. This felt weird. Seeing yourself do all these things while you are standing here really felt like whipflash.

"Wonder what's under here," he sung out before grabbing the front of the shirt. He pulled it away and started peaking around.

"Hey, stop that," you yelled banging on the glass. Deep laughter came from his, well yours, lips as he swam back over to the edge of the glass.

"Don't worry darling." He pulled the shirt down to reveal that underneath was his greyish blue skin. It faded from your skin into his as it passed the collar. "I can't turn into something I don't know."

You quickly turned to the computer and started typing in shapeshifter into his records. Putting a subsection underneath, you added that he can't shift into something he doesn't know or can't see.

"Is there anything else you cant do?" You asked looking over at him. Alien-you leaned back in the liquid and tapped his chin.

"I guess stop being so good looking," he grumbled out. You bit your lip as you thought of a perfect joke. It would be unprofessional to joke around with him, but you have heard other examiner say that they joke and play around with theirs.

"You do look like me, so I will have to agree with you on that statement." His mouth dropped open as soft stutters of laughter escaped. He closed it and rolled his tongue along his teeth.

Slowly, your skin started to turn into that grayish blue until your entire body started to contort. Your clothes turned to ashes before disappearing in the liquid. Jutting his head back, the skull seem to be shifting underneath as it became sharper and fuller.

"I think this looks a little a better," he purred pressing a clawed hand on the glass. He was back to his original form except this time clothed.

A skin tight black material covered from his knees to the peak of his neck, but it didn't cover any of his arms. It kind of reminded you of an old style swim suit in a way, very basic but covered all necessary things.

"So, you can produce clothing on yourself?" You asked thinking of how he perfectly replicated the clothes you were wearing. You leaned over to the computer and typed that in.

"Well, would you like for me to be butt naked in this container?" You stopped typing as you thought it over. It would help with getting data over everything and that increases chance for experiments. "I'm not liking that silence. You pervert."

Embarrassment encased your body as you shook your head trying to rid yourself of the accusation. "No, I was looking at it from a scientific standpoint. I promise."

He swam up and peaked over the top of the glass, so he was starring down at you. His black eyes glimmered with amusement as he threw a swift wink at you. "You can call it whatever you want, baby."

Your jaw dropped in shock at what you assumed was his flirtatious comment. What type of alien were you assigned to examine?

"I-" luckily you were cut off by a voice in your ear interrupting you. You had to stop yourself from letting out a groan as that annoying voice spoke.

"Don't forget we have a required seminar in 39 minutes. Go ahead and put your alien into hibernation and report all vitals before leaving." You rolled your eyes as you remember those dumb seminars. You really didn't want to go.

"Did I blow your mind, buttercup? Guess you imagine what is under my this suit." You zoned back into your environment as you looked back at the alien. Half of his upper body was tilting out of the container at you. His second and third set of arms slowly kept him afloat.

"Sadly, no. I have to put you to sleep now," you commented walking over to the computer. You quickly wrote in the notes that he seems to be made for swimming.

"But if I'm asleep, I can't see that beautiful face of yours," he whined out splashing his tail behind him. Luckily, none of it feel over.

"Don't worry, you can see me in your dreams," you joked typing in the code to send in the sleeping medicine. Blue liquid flowed from the machine and towards the IV stuck into him.

"You didn't even give me your name or give me a name." You tilted your head in confusion at the last statement. Why would you give him a name?

His eyes looked down at the blue liquid as it started going into him. He let out a shaky breath and dropped down into the container. His body slowly sank to the bottom where he leaned against the corner of the container.

You walked towards the glass and gently placed your hand on it. He was blinking slowly at you as he tried to fight the medicine. But you knew in ten seconds, he would be out.

"How about I call you Shark?" You joked looking at his grey skin. Bubbles floated out of his mouth from his laughter. His head plopped against the wall as his eyes shut.

"It's a good thing you cute or I would be offended by that." Silence followed as his breathing even out. The rest of his body sunk down into the floor.

Work was about to get a lot more exciting with him around. Maybe you could actually start looking forward to this.

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So this is going to be an ongoing stories. I want to try to use some stories prompt or word prompts for this as practice for my writing. Also, I want to try to write a flirty character instead of a soft blushy one like usual. So this entire thing is a giant experiment for me. So leave a comment and let me know what you think.💜💜💜💜💜

[juliandev0rak]

Defining Moment 🧳✨

Eleven: Defining Moment — what was their coming-of-age moment? A point where everything changed?

echoes of the past event

@arcana-echoes​

Beatrice Viano, she/ her

The South End, Vesuvia

12 years before the events of The Arcana, Beatrice is 14

Words: 2266

Warnings: mentions of parental emotional abuse, no specific details are given but just in case- this does deal with a child leaving an emotionally abusive household so please feel free to skip this post if you’d like

It’s now or never.

The last two years have been hard for Beatrice. With her sister gone, all of her mother’s attention has been focused on her, which has been far from a good thing. Her mother had devoted herself to Beatrice’s education whenever possible, running her tailoring business on the side. Sewing and washing the fine clothing of wealthy women had always made her mother envious for a better life, and she views her daughters as the way to do that.

Beatrice, and her sister before her, had been educated to catch the eye of an upper class, wealthy gentleman. Her mother had tried to arrange a marriage for Freya, which had fallen through, but she has high hopes for Beatrice. Her education mostly consists of training Beatrice to be a proper lady, practicing etiquette and the piano, learning to walk with poise and grace, and most of all learning how to speak correctly. “Good girls are seen and not heard” had been drilled into her since birth. Beatrice is good, she does what she’s told, but it’s still never enough.

Her mother’s corrections are swift and harsh, she is never good enough, or quiet enough, but she is smart enough- too smart actually. Her mother tells her that it's unbecoming for a lady to know so much, how will she get a husband if she runs her mouth like that? Beatrice doesn’t want a husband, she wants a friend. Since her sister left she’s been all alone in the house, not even allowed to go out to the market without her mother. 

Freya had run away from home, and her mother spends every moment making sure Beatrice doesn't follow suit. The house has always been a prison of sorts, but now the warden has become even harsher. Her mother hates magic most of all, so Beatrice has to hide her abilities. It’s impossible to live here knowing that just across town her Aunt Cora has a magic shop and could teach her, if she could only get out.

Part of her feels obligated to stay with her mother, she’ll be all alone if Beatrice leaves and despite her flaws, she’s still her mother. But, deep down, she knows that the only future she has to look forward to if she stays is being married off to the highest bidder. So she bides her time.

She spends her days pretending that nothing is wrong. She practices piano, she does her etiquette lessons and works on her needlepoint samplers, but in her head she’s plotting. Her mother takes her with her whenever she leaves, and it would be difficult to slip out unnoticed any other time.

However, she gets incredibly lucky when one of her mother’s customers requests a house call. It’s too important of a client for her mother to bring Beatrice along, so she’ll have a few hours in the house alone. She begins to plan her getaway, trying to figure out a way to pack her belongings without raising suspicion. 

When her mother leaves that afternoon with a warning of “Be good, Beatrice.” she rushes into action. It’s now or never, and she can’t risk losing this chance to get away. She’ll never be able to live with herself if she doesn’t try to learn how to use her magic, if she doesn’t try to make her life what she wants it to be. 

Beatrice gathers her things in a hurry, wishing she knew more magic to help her with the process. On a whim she throws on her father’s old green cloak. It’s the only thing she has of his and though she never really knew him, she wants to remember him. He’d left when she was too young to remember, and he’s still out there somewhere. She’s often thought about going in search of him, but as she’s gotten older she’s realized he probably wouldn’t be too happy to see her given the circumstances. 

Bag in hand, she opens the door to leave, trying not to think too much about what she’s about to do. She’s scared, she knows her mother won’t let her return if she leaves and she hasn’t seen her aunt in years so she has no guarantee that her aunt will even take her in. But she has to do it, she has to try.

She has a good sense of direction so she makes it to Center City in no time, but she has to ask for directions from there. Trying to find the magic shop without knowing its name is easier said than done. When she arrives it’s still light out and there’s a sign proclaiming that the store is open so she walks in, unsure of what’s to come.

The store is bustling, a dozen customers peruse the various shelves. She spots her Aunt Cora, who looks a lot like her mother, in the corner of the store talking to a customer. So Beatrice walks over, trying to catch her eye.

“I’ll be right with you in a moment, dear.” Aunt Cora says when she notices her approaching, she turns back to the customer then whirls right back to Beatrice. “Oh, Beatrice! Darling, whatever are you doing here?” 

She excuses herself from the customer and runs over to greet her niece. Aunt Cora pulls her into a hug that Beatrice tries not to recoil from. After she deems it long enough that she won’t be impolite, Beatrice pulls away and tries to explain but she’s cut off by a barrage of questions.

“Is Ada here with you? Does she know you’re here?” Cora asks, speaking of Beatrice’s mother.

“No Ma'am, I left without her knowledge.” Beatrice explains, staring down at her shoes to avoid looking at her Aunt, but the voice of her mother reminds her that making eye contact is polite so she raises her head. “My sincerest apologies for the intrusion, I wanted to, that is, I had hoped-” 

 “My, aren’t you a polite girl.” Cora laughs, cutting off her stuttering explanation, “It’s ok, Beatrice you aren’t intruding at all. How about I close the shop early and we can talk? Just give me a few minutes, you can head up the stairs over there and I’ll be right up.” Cora gestures to the corner of the shop where the entrance to her apartment must be.

“Thank you Ma’am.” Beatrice resists the sudden urge to curtsy and tentatively makes her way to the stairs. 

“Call me Cora!” Cora calls after her, shaking her head sadly as she watches Beatrice politely nod in response.

Beatrice opens the door to the apartment and is delighted to find it cozy and quite charming, though a bit too cluttered for what she’s used to. She sets her bag down and takes a seat on the edge of the couch. Her aunt had seemed happy to see her at least. A minute passes in tense silence until she hears footsteps on the stairs. 

“You know,” Cora says, entering the apartment, “your sister Freya arrived in a very similar fashion not so long ago. Am I to assume your visit is for similar reasons?” 

“She came to see you?” Beatrice asks, removing her bag from the couch so Cora has a spot to sit. 

“Indeed she did, she wanted to leave Vesuvia.” Cora explains, eyeing the way Beatrice’s face tightens at the mention of her sister, “But something tells me you’d rather not talk about your sister. Why don’t you tell me why you’ve come to see me?”

“Can you train me?” She asks, wanting to get it over with. If her aunt rejects her she’d rather know now. “I have magic but I can’t, my mother doesn’t, she-”

“You don’t have to explain, I know my sister’s aversion to magic. I knew you had some ability, but is it really something you’d like to pursue?” Cora smiles as Beatrice nods, “In that case, I’d be happy to train you.”

“Thank you Aunt Cora!” Beatrice says excitedly, but a moment later her expression sobers and she continues, “Only.. it’s not just that, I would need somewhere to stay.” 

“Well of course! I wouldn’t want my new apprentice to stay anywhere else! I’ve got a guest room that’s just perfect for you.” Cora grabs Beatrice’s hand and pulls her up. “Let’s go see it, shall we?” 

The room is small but it’s got a lovely window and looks less cluttered than the rest of the apartment, which is perfect for Beatrice. Once she’s all settled in, her small bag of belongings unpacked neatly, her aunt brews them some tea and they talk about magic. It’s the most fun Beatrice has had in years, being able to talk about her interests freely. It’s getting dark by then and her aunt suggests dinner and an early night so they can get started on magic training in the morning. 

Beatrice offers to fill a cooking pot with water and does it with her magic. “I’ve always been rather good at conjuring water.” She explains, “I can use the moisture in the air.” 

“Really! That’s quite something, I’m sure we’ll be able to develop that skill even more with time.” Cora smiles, just as she reaches for the pot there's a loud pounding on the shop door downstairs. “That’ll be your mother.”

“Aunt Cora, please don’t make me go back there. I want to stay here and learn!” Beatrice pleads, grabbing onto Cora’s arm, “I promise I won’t be a burden, if I go back now she’ll never let me out.” 

“Shh.. it’s ok Beatrice, I have no intention of letting my sister stifle your magic any longer.” Cora soothes. “This is your home now, as far as I’m concerned. I’ll go talk to her.” 

Cora leaves and Beatrice locks the door behind her just in case. Part of her wants to know what her mother has to say, but she doesn’t want to chance her mother seeing her. She can hear raised voices but no words, and it’s a good five minutes before Cora comes back.

“It’s just me!” She calls as she knocks on the door, Beatrice lets her in and she collapses on the couch, looking quite tired. “She never gets easier to deal with.” 

“What did she say?” Beatrice asks nervously, still standing by the door. 

“Her exact words were quite harsh, but to summarize she’s made it clear that if you’re not home by tomorrow morning you’re.. well you’re not welcome back.” Cora frowns, gesturing for Beatrice to join her. She sits next to her aunt and allows herself to be pulled into a hug. She feels like crying, but she won’t do that here. 

“I need to stay here, I have to learn magic.” She says resolutely, hoping her voice won’t break. 

“With that determination you’ll go far Beatrice, and you’re welcome here as long as you like.” Cora smiles encouragingly. “Now, have you met my familiar yet? He lives in the stove.” 

Later that night Beatrice tosses and turns in her new bed. She thinks she’s made the right choice, but it’s hard to know that yet. It’ll get easier, she tells herself, your magic will get better and Aunt Cora said you can read as much as you want here. It all becomes a bit too much and she starts crying despite her efforts not to. In the past she would have had Freya there to wipe away her tears, but it’s been just her for a while now, and it’ll be just her from now on. 

Beatrice startles as she hears a noise in the hall and sits up in bed, pulling the covers around her in the chill of the room. She listens closely as her bedroom door knob rattles and she ducks her head under the covers, trying to hide her sniffing.

“Beatrice, sweetheart, it’s just me.” Aunt Cora says quietly, sitting on the edge of her bed. Beatrice tentatively peeks her head out of the blankets and sees Cora looking at her with sympathy. “I know how hard it was for me to leave home when I was around your age. My mother was very similar to yours in a way, that’s probably where my sister got it from.”  

They sit in silence for a minute, Beatrice not knowing whether she should respond. Silent tears still run down her face and she hopes it’s too dark in the room for her aunt to notice. 

“You don’t have to suffer alone, Beatrice. You aren’t alone here.” Cora puts her hand gently on Beatrice’s head and ruffles her hair. Before she can stop herself Beatrice pulls herself out of the covers and into her aunt’s arms. Her aunt hugs her, saying soothing words under her breath as Beatrice continues to cry quietly. “I’m so proud of you for knowing what you want and going after it, Beatrice. I have no doubt that someday you’re going to be a wonderful magician, but my real hope for you is that you’re happy.” 

“Thank you.” Beatrice murmurs, pulling back from the hug. Her aunt smiles at her and brushes Beatrice’s hair out of her face. 

“Would you like to light a candle to keep in your room? Just in case you decide to read during the night or anything.” Cora suggests, and Beatrice is glad of the topic change.

“Can I use my magic to do it?” She asks, giving her aunt a weak smile.

“But of course!” Cora says, pulling a candle from her robe pocket with a flourish. “Apprentice Beatrice, your training starts... now!”