#this revelation does not mean I will stop being super gay in love on here tho

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

oh shit guys I thought about it, I might be wifeguy

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

Hi Cal!! I hope you’re doing well! I’m super loving all your stories right now (and always of course :p) here’s lots of emojis to prompt your brilliant mind!

First theme this week is the stories that actively made me think of other works of yours (key word being actively because, let’s be real, I’m consistently thinking about all your stories)

🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️ (this one obviously makes me think of the whole Nico-verse. I’m still so happy that he’s back!! I ended up rereading hold me like a grudge the other day because these snippets made me want to revisit Nico. I’m really loving both seeing the beautiful future life of established Buddie and watching current Buddie respond to that life! It’s so much fun!)

⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️(now this one is giving me BBAB vibes! AND I LOVE IT! Such a legendary work I love any reminder of it! Buck’s life and purpose being upended by a powerful magical entity forcing him to act in ways that contradict who he is, but he accepts it for the sake of protecting the people he loves. That’s that good stuff I love! At least in this one though he’s able to confide in Eddie so it’s feeling just a bit less angsty. How long are you planning on having this one be?)

- PCA <3

AHH THIS IS A COOL THEME THANK YOU!

96 for 🌤️ (AH YAY! THANK YOU FOR REREADING! And I am glad that you're looking forward to this one)

---

“Chris said I’m gay, and that he’s, like, surprised I don’t know yet because… Because apparently we’re going to get together soon, in his version of history.”

Buck goes very still. 

“So I was looking through my phone for… I don’t know?” Eddie huffs. “Evidence?”

“Evidence that you’re gay?” Buck asks. 

“Yeah,” Eddie confirms quietly. 

“Did you find any?” Buck ask. 

“Well, the nudes,” Eddie says. “They are… Not something two friends would do.”

Buck lets out a little whistle. 

“Damn.” 

“Yeah,” Eddie exhales. “There are, uh… There are other albums… Some are just, uh, romantic.”

Buck swallows. “So, uh… Then, what do you think? About what Chris said?”

There’s an edge to his voice. Eddie can’t quite place it. But he’s nervous about Eddie’s answer. Maybe he doesn’t want Eddie to have any sort of feelings or revelation. That would be fair, right? He and Tommy just broke up. A break up Buck did not want. Buck probably doesn’t have the bandwidth for anything else right now. Or maybe he just wouldn’t want… Eddie’s stomach twists. He feels preemptively heartbroken. Why? He’s not even… He doesn’t even really want…

Unless maybe he does? 

Oh, god. Does he?

“I, uh… I’m confused,” Eddie admits. 

“Confused?” Buck asks. 

Eddie nods. “My brain is kind of spinning. I don’t know what I’m feeling… Or if I’m feeling it because he said I should.”

“Uh, well… Well, what are you feeling?” Buck asks. 

Yeah, fair question. 

“I feel uncertain about things I always thought were one way… Maybe they’re not.”

Buck inhales heavily. 

“You mean, you think you could be?” 

Shit. 

“Uh, I don’t know,” Eddie says. “I don’t have enough information.”

Wait. Wrong thing to say. Buck’s going to…

“We could fix that,” Buck says, voice a little raspy. 

Yep. That. That is what Eddie feared. Feared, because he’s not sure he can say no. But he’s not sure he should say yes. 

“Buck…” He replies, hands shaking a little. His stomach is in a knot. “You don’t mean that.”

“I do,” Buck says. “To help you… Figure things out.”

Eddie’s going to pass out. He is both exhilarated and terrified.

“What if it’s a no?” He asks quietly. 

“That’s okay,” Buck says, just as gently. “No expectations here, Eddie. I’m not sure any of this is real, either.”

“Why not?” Eddie asks. 

Buck heaves an unhappy breath. 

“It’s a little too good to be true, isn’t it?” He asks. 

Look, just being totally real with you… I never felt like you were really happy until you and Buck were together, okay?

Stop punishing yourself.

“But what if it’s not?” Eddie asks. “What if it is the future?”

---

96 for ⚖️ (OHH yes I guess it sort of is like that! And honestly, not sure how long it'll turn out. This is one of my least outlined ones in a while. Four-ish chapters maybe?)

---

“Okay, maybe,” Buck sighs. “So why not fix it?”

Eddie thinks. 

“Is that going against his wishes?” He asks. “I mean, he wants to be there, right?”

Buck thinks. “I don’t know. I don’t know what the options are. I can’t fabricate them.”

Eddie’s eyebrows twitch upwards. “So… So you could only choose something that’s good for him?”

Which is exactly what being home with Eddie is.

“Yeah,” Buck says. “I could choose the best option for Christoppher.”

“That’s what I want,” Eddie says. “Don’t fix it for me. Fix it for him. Whatever that looks like.”

And Eddie thinks he deserves punishment. God.

“Okay,” Buck agrees. “I can do that, Eddie.”

“Then what do we do?” Eddie asks. 

“I need to figure out how to do whatever it is I do to regular people,” Buck says. “And then we go to El Paso.” 

Eddie exhales through his mouth. Like he’s releasing a breath of smoke. There’s a new sort of hope in his eyes. 

“Okay,” Eddie says. “Uh, learn quick?”

Buck frowns. “She did not leave me with a guidebook.”

“Damn,” Eddie replies. “Also, uh, what are you going to do about Tommy?”

“Oh, that.” Buck scowls. “Nothing!”

“Nothing?” Eddie asks, skeptical. 

“Yep,” Buck nods. 

“You’ve never done nothing n your life,” Eddie says flatly.

“You haven’t known me my whole life,” Buck reminds him.

“Still willing to put money on it,” Eddie says. 

“Ugh,” Buck rolls his eyes. “What else can I do, Eddie? If I never do anything, including ever seeing him again, I don’t have to know what he did or punish him for it.”

“I don’t think that’s a good way to approach it,” Eddie argues.

“Uh, hello. Eddie? You just were going to run away from me because you thought you deserved punishment. How is it different?”

“Because that was… I mean…” Eddie huffs. “I didn’t think I was as evil as your fucked up pervert neighbor. But Tommy might be! We don’t know!”

Buck groans. That’s true. 

“Eddie, this isn’t fair,” Buck complains. “It’s hard enough with strangers, to see the badness.” 

Eddie frowns. 

“It’s not like I’m going to keep seeing him!” Buck continues. “I actually plan on never being in the same room as him again.”

“And you can guarantee that?” Eddie asks. 

“Well, no, but-”

“Then, come on. Buck,” Eddie really levels with him. “This is you we’re talking about. If something bad is happening, and you can stop it, I think you will.”

“We don’t know anything bad is happening,” Buck mumbles. 

“Then why the red?” Eddie asks. 

“Maybe something bad has already happened,” Buck says. “And he hasn’t made up for it?”

“Then, maybe he doesn’t need the worst punishment or whatever,” Eddie says. “But I doubt you’re going to let it go, Buck. I know you.”

He does, is the problem. And deep down, Buck knows Eddie is right. Deep, deep down. 

“No way, man,” Buck says. “I’m not enacting cosmic revenge on Tommy or any ex.”

iii. 

Over the next handful of days, Buck tries to figure out how this gift works. Not very giftlike, to be this dysfunctional, really. First of all, he cannot do it to anyone who isn’t glowing red. Second, he has no way to know where those people are. Wouldn’t it be good if he had, like, a tracker or something. Something that guided him towards those people, so he could practice? Not that he wants to see more horrible things, but he needs to figure out how to do this to get Christopher home. Because no matter what Eddie believes, Christopher should be home. It’s getting sort of ridiculous. 

But in three days after Larry - all spent ignoring Tommy - he doesn’t see another red aura. Not one. So he gets no practice. 

[amyfevernight]

What i learned from All Engines Go without actually watching the show (Season 2)

Yep, Season 2 is done, here we go again. Season 1 + Shorts if you wanna read that, here we GOOOOO

Percy Disappears: PERCY DIDN’T LEARN SHIT FROM DAY OF THE DIESELS Shake, Rattle, & Bruno: DIESEL CAN’T UNDERSTAND AUTISM FOR 11 MINUTES STRAIGHT Fast Friends: WHAT THE FUCK DID I SAY ABOUT BEING A SPEED DEMON Ashima's Amazing Arrival: STOP BEING SUCH A FUCKING TRY-HARD Tri-and-a-Half-a-Lon: SPORTS. AND ALSO NIA’S TURN TO BE AN ATTENTION WHORE Carly's Magnificent Magnet: TESS, STOP BEING SUCH A GODDAMN TEENAGER New Mail Engine in Town: PERCY’S TURN TO BE AN ATTENTION WHORE Hot Air Percy: HOW DOES A FUCKING HOT AIR BALLOON SNATCH UP A TRAIN ANYWAY? Carly's Screechy Squeak: JUST GET THE SAND OUT. IT’S NOT THAT HARD. Blackout!: THOMAS IS AN ATTENTION WHORE: REVELATIONS Brand New Track: IT’S JUST A NEW LINE, YOU GUYS Stink Monster: WHIFF IS A DANGEROUS SOCIOPATH, CALL THE POLICE Whiteout!: LITERALLY A COPY-PASTE OF BLACKOUT BUT WITH A WINTER STORM INSTEAD OF THUNDER, SEE ME AFTER CLASS Christmas Mountain: CHRISTMAS IS AWESOME Good as New: Eventually, one day, you have to let go of the things you love- NO SCRATCH THAT BUY OUR TOYS More Than a Pretty Engine: ASHIMA IS THE ONLY SMART TRAIN HERE I SWEAR Snowplow Struttin: THEN WHAT THE FFFFFUCK IS THE SNOWPLOW FOR?! Thomas in Charge: OH GOD DAMNIT NOT THIS BULLSHIT AGAIN Kana Recharges: “LEAVE ME ALONE” MEANS “LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE” The Big Skunk Funk: SKUNKS ARE JERKS Off the Rails: [INDIANA JONES INTENSIFIES] Diesel’s Dilemma: NO NO NOOOO STICK TO THE STUFF YOU KNOOOOW A Very Percy Valentine's Day: ALL I GOT FROM THIS IS “MY FUCKIN’ GOD, DIESEL IS GAY, GOOD FOR HIM, GOOD FOR HIM” Valentine's Hearts: AH YES, THE PERFECT GIFT, LITERAL DEATH BY ELECTROCUTION Bring it on Beresford: CAN YOU STOP HAVING PISSING CONTESTS FOR FIVE MINUTES What's in a Name?: THEY LITERALLY DON’T EVEN LOOK THE SAME, HOW DO YOU GET THEM CONFUSED? Sheep Shenanigans: DIESEL AND THE DUCKLINGS BUT WITH SHEEP. Tunnel Troubles: JESUS CHRIST YOU GUYS, THE PISSING CONTESTS NEED TO STOP The Case of the Missing Crane: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU LOSE A CRANE??? Not-So-Secret Mission: TOPHAT HOW THE FUCK DO YOU BREAK ALL OF THE FUCKING LAMP-POSTS??? Speedster Sandy: WHAT. DID I SAY. ABOUT BEING. A FUCKING TRY HARD. For All the Marble: THOMAS IS A DUMBASS, SHOULD’VE FUCKING LISTENED TO BRUNO. Salty’s Sea Shanty: HOLY SHIT SALTY’S BACK AND HE’S SO FUCKING COOL Retrieve the Kraken: BALLOONS. ARE. FUCKING. AWESOME. SALTY IS STILL FUCKING AWESOME TOO, HE DOESN’T AFRAID OF ANYTHING Rocket’s Fall: YOU GOT YOUR CONTINUITY IN MY FUNNY TRAIN SHOW Details? What Details?: TOPHAT’S A DUMBASS, ALSO THOMAS HAS THE MEMORY OF A GOLDFISH Blue Engine Blues: IS THIS AN ALLEGORY FOR DEPRESSION? I FEEL LIKE THIS IS AN ALLEGORY FOR DEPRESSION Hay Fort Frenzy: MOTHERFUCKING TERENCE IS BACK? OH, HE’S A LITTLE SHIT NOW, OKAY. Percy in the Middle: JUST GET GORDON TO REFEREE FFS Bad Luck Boxcar: THIS IS JUST THOMAS’ NOT-SO-LUCKY DAY AGAIN, SEE ME AFTER CLASS. Not-So-Easy Greasy: GREASE I GUESS? It All Adds Up: THE NORTHERN LIGHTS ARE AWESOME Bruno’s Map Mishap: CAN YOU GUYS LEAVE THIS POOR BOY ALONE Seeking A Safer Sodor: EMILY REALLY SAID NO FUN ALLOWED A Cranky Goodbye: CRANKY IS A MESS WHEN IT COMES TO SHARING HIS FEELINGS? YEAH ME TOO, JOIN THE CLUB Sameroo: IF YOU WANNA BE COOL FOLLOW ONE SIMPLE RULE DON’T MESS WITH THE FLOW NO NOOOOO STICK TO THE STATUS QUO Thomas for a Day: You can’t pretend to be someone you’re not. NOW FORGET THAT LESSON FOR A MINUTE YOU LITTLE SHIT, LOOK, IT’S PERCY BUT BLUE, BUY OUR TOYS. The Super Axle: OH HI TOBY’S BACK- OH HE HAS SELF-WORTH ISSUES The Waiting Game: AT LEAST DO SOMETHING WHILE YOU WAIT?? I DUNNO All Wheels on Track: ENGINES ARE FUCKING USELESS FOR NO REASON HERE Something Broken, Something Blue: Eventually, one day, you have to let go of the things you love. For real this time- NOPE JUST KIDDING BUY OUR FUCKING TOYS HAHA YOU FELL FOR IT AGAIN The Sights of Sodor: MOUNTAINS ARE AWESOME EXCEPT NO THEY AREN’T, FUCK YOURSELF

[deanwasalwaysbi]

This post from @crookedcryptid suggesting Dean and Castiel were canonically together from Dean's prayer confession on put a big stupid grin on my face, and then I went off and analyzed every episode that came afterward. So here you go?

Castiel’s in about every other episode from that point. And they are actually separated in the majority of the majority of the episodes, but the way they interact is just loving.

Episode by episode analysis under the cut. 

At The Trap, Dean confesses to Castiel in his prayer how he really feels (but not like that at least not in Chuck's censured version that we see) while Eileen and Sam split up bc of Chuck. It's late revealed that Chuck sent Sam Eileen and Sent Cas & Dean to Purgatory so they'd lose hope. (Cas must have defied Chuck's plan yet again by stopping Dean from voicing his feelings bc that's the only explanation I have to make this make any sense. (x) )

After Dean's confession, the next episode immediately separates Cas & Dean but Dean pines after the domestic life like Garth has with his family, an alternative lifestyle Dean once saw as unacceptably evil. (x)

But then next episode Castiel goes and finds Jack and brings him home. Brings him home to Dean who does this. (See gif above that lives rent free in my mind /\)

He holds Jack’s face just like he did Ben’s.  He looks into Jack’s eyes, one then the other, as if to verify that it’s really him. Then he looks from Jack to Castiel.

This dad moment. This neck hold and look to Castiel that simultaneously says, “you brought my son home to me” but also screams in Jensen’s headcanon that Dean used to look at Jack and see Lucifer but now he looks at him and sees Cas. 

(Tho that shouldn’t be hard since they clearly cast their combined biological child.)

I’m obsessed with it. It haunt my dreams and inhabits my waking brain.

The fact that this is not before ‘The Trap’ but after is so important. They didn’t set it right between them artificially, by Cas bringing Jack home. Instead, they set it right between them and then they got their son back.  Otherwise, it is the last piece of the puzzle to patch their relationship.  Dean was envious of Garth’s family, and suddenly Dean has his back.

In Galaxy Brain Chuck’s screen shows a view of Dean and Cas sitting super closely huddled together at the kitchen table. (x) Is actually from an earlier episode. There’s also the dadliest dadstiel moment ever, with Castiel letting his god killing, resurrected, super powered, three-year-old win at connect four, which was not in the script, but added by Misha and Sp8. (x)  When Sam and Cas disagree on Jack, Cas backs up Jack and Dean supports Cas over Sam.  The husbands share a whiskey while reveling in how they brought Jack up right,  “I knew it, Dean. When I was with Jack’s mother, she… You know, Kelly just had faith that Jack would be good for the world, and I felt it, too. I knew it. And then, when everything went wrong, and God took him from us… I was lost in a way I’ve never been before. Because I knew the story wasn’t over. I knew Jack wasn’t done. And I was right.” (Even if Dean’s a little too excited about using Jack as a weapon.) (Maybe this line explains what's been up with the Hellers these past 6 months yall.)

This is huge, because Dean was destroyed at the end of last season, imo, bc his idea of Jack was destroyed and he felt the need to cut himself off from all thoughts that he could have that family.  (x)

Cas also wordlessly goes into Dean’s backpack in a moment of routine casual intimacy.

Destiny’s Child & Dean calling Cas an idiot for risking his life yet again- not knowing that Cas felt secure in the knowledge that he wouldn't die bc of his deal. Dean was legit scared to lose him again. (oh no my heart). With that extra knowledge Cas had it's exactly the kind of thing Dean would do. Dean's done this exact thing before both when he was, and was not, suicidal. (S13, S6) They get Jack’s soul back, but first the classic “oh no my child has ingested something”.

Last Holiday- No Cas. 😒

Gimme Shelter - Our boys are separated yet again - Castiel talks to Paster Sexy (recast doctor sexy) who says it’s okay to be gay. We get a lot of charming Cas with Jack moments. Something happens in this episode, it happens off-screen and it's something we've basically have never seen in this series. Jack tells Castiel that he expects to die to defeat Chuck and rather than fall into the pattern we've seen every single season, Castiel immediately tells Dean what is going on, immediately tells Dean everything he needs to know to protect Jack.

Drag me Away From You (ugh oh no and they will) - No Cas

Unity - end of the warm wuvy dov. 

Dean lets Jack think he isn’t family.  Sam discovers that if they let Jack kill Chuck that Billie will kill Eileen, anyone from another dimension or resurrected and Dean. Looks. At. Cas. (x) The fear in his eyes. 

By this point Dean is unhinged. He’s back to the beginning of the season when he was afraid that all of this was Chuck’s control rather than a real relationship between them. This should have been an ‘absolution’ moment for Jack, the one Castiel says here that Jack doesn’t need from anyone but himself. The closest we get to confirmation that Cas has learned that lesson himself. (x) Dean was so destroyed after his idea of Jack died that it split up his marriage …  I mean….  Dean already chose Jack’s life once, even after Mary.  Dean is choosing him over using him as a weapon to kill Chuck is huge considering how spun out Dean was by this point.  I’m convinced that without Cas being there Dean would not have stopped, and might have let Jack sacrifice himself, might have shot Sam giving Chuck his ending.

I’m also convinced that Chuck designed The Trap to have Cas die 8 episodes ago. (x) That Dean was never supposed to have this post trap period with him.  So that he would be hopeless just like he was in episode 19.  That was in the version Chuck wrote back in episode 4. Without Cas, Chuck would have gotten his ending. (x) Woof there is a sentence that hurts in 15x20

18 - skipping this winchester main pain for the mo-

So this all got me thinking about Dean’s face after Cas says he loves him, the little choked up headshake, like maybe that’s just verbal confirmation of something he, on some level, already knew. (x)

I haven’t hit 15 in my rewatch yet and I’m sure I will find new a different things to piss me tf off when I do. 

Morning erybody?

[eventual-ghoste]

TOG rambling

Hello! This post has to do with Andy and some revelations at the end of Force Multiplied. Spoilers I give aren’t super specific but they’re there, and I can’t promise they won’t bite.

This is also in response to a TOG discord question I couldn’t stop thinking about, regarding Andy’s history as compared to Nicky’s, as posited by Em | salzundhonig:

But Nicky's past as a crusader and his growth from his past was well received, surely that'll be the same with Andy right?

I apologize if these ramblings sound like a rant but I swear my intentions are in the spirit of debate/discourse, and they are not an attack on any individuals.

The TL;DR is: Andy has work to do. Hopefully Hollywood and Rucka don’t fuck that up.

Feel free to check/correct/call me out if I’ve misspoke anywhere here (I realize I still have a lot to learn) but IMHO, I don’t think a semblance of Andy’s growth will be well received. Or, at least, I’m not so certain it should be because, in the comics, I genuinely don’t think Andy has grown. At the end of Force Multiplied, she still defends her actions with the “this is how I grew up” argument, and says it was “a long time ago,” and as much as I love love LOVE Andromache the Scythian for her badassery and how she’s a vision of female empowerment, I can’t help but think about how I hear those words all the time from people defending themselves against racist and/or sexist comments from so-called bygone eras.

Wanna know a sad difference between those people and our beloved Andy? They apologize for what they’ve done, or who they were. As hollow as the words will sound, however unforgivable their actions, however self-serving the apology will be— Those Asshats apologize. Comic!Andy never does, not even when confronted by Nile, an African American woman who likely descends from slaves, and has undoubtedly experienced racism and discrimination on a regular basis. It’s been thousands of years and Andy doesn’t even know how to say sorry (if she ever does, kudos to whoever finds a timestamp/panel, and let me know!). Instead, Andy buries the truth of her actions with a load of justifications to the point that she becomes self-deprecating, calling herself “vermin,” concluding she’s no better than the apathetic, selfish, evil POS they hunt. She may have spent the past millennia with TOG, trying to make things right but then—

But then she gives up. She’s tired. She resigns because she doesn’t have it in her anymore to fight the injustice she once willingly and self-servingly participated in. So, on top of being incapable of apology, Andy also doesn’t vow to do better. She doesn’t accede to change.

If there is one reason for why “The Old Guard” is a fucking absolutely shitty title, is that it refers to people who refuse to accept new ideas and progress. We are in a fandom that has four canonically queer characters, three people of color, and two female leads! Maybe the irony is intentional but damn, why is it that Andy, PROTAGONIST #1, hasn’t completely caught up with the program?

And that brings me to why I think Andy’s reckoning will not be on the same level as Nicky’s. Because as popular as Kaysanova is, neither Nicky or Joe are the main protagonists of TOG.

We don’t follow Nicky or Joe (or Booker) into scenes. The men are strictly back-at-the-ranch, supporting characters. We follow Andy or Nile (who also have the most screen time, I believe, but fact-check me). Filmically speaking, we ought to value them with a measure of precedence. Their words and actions matter the most, especially Andy’s by nature of how everyone looks to her for guidance.

So, with all that in mind: How does one reconcile a beloved protagonist with a despicable past in slavery, of all things? In the wake of an international racial reckoning, how is a celebrated, white South African actress going to fulfill that role? How is production going to balance fantasy with reality? How are Rucka and other involved writers (Theron, Prince-Bythewood?) going to alter the original IP, while retaining the nuance of this moral quandry?

Forgive me for the overkill but: How is it going to happen?

I’m well aware that my thoughts are going down a rabbit hole, and I am definitely overthinking this, but as somebody who’s genuinely curious about whether Victoria Mahoney and the rest of the TOG crew will have the guts to confront the issue head-on, or if they’ll take the easy way out. Excise the bits that no one wants to talk about, much less watch in a feel-good film that TOG has become for many fans.

Whatever production ends up doing, I hope that 2O2G doesn’t end on a cliffhanging “pity Andromache” note because, damn, I’m gonna feel real uncomfortable scrolling through fandom posts, reading people defending slavery and giving the same “the past is a foreign country; they do things differently there” spiel, in order to protect a fictional character played by a conventionally-attractive cis heterosexual white woman.

(Also: If the past is so different from the present, why are there still calls for social justice? Why do ALL industries still lack diverse and equitable representation?)

Now, this is where I’ll go back to the original question and say: While I think Nicky functions well as an example for change/growth/redemption, I don’t think his change serves as a good comparison to Andy’s. I say this, even while I’m aware of double standards in gender, and even between the reception of gay characters vs lesbian characters vs etc. (re: I’m open to critique).

My line of thought stems from the fact that, canonically, Nicky always had Joe. The two have seemingly been inseparable from the moment they first killed each other. It’s likely that Joe would check Nicky whenever he said or did something wrong and offensive, and perhaps this symbiosis was mutual.

(I also have a feeling that many people easily disregarded the Christian/Muslim conflict because A) lack of knowledge in BOTH religions and B) the onscreen couple appear very much in love, especially when one is giving a beautiful monologue on the nature of their relationship. When we meet Joe and Nicky, we meet them at their best. Shout-out to interfaith couples who know more about this than my single (and secular) ass does, and might have more to say about this.)

On the other hand: Andy never had someone who was like how Joe was for Nicky. No one ever calls out Andy because A) she’s the oldest, B) she’s the lead, and C) her business card says ANDROMACHE OF SCYTHIA, WAR GOD. Yeah, she had Quynh/Noriko but— at the risk of yelling at Rucka for vilifying a queer woman of color (or praising him for not leaning on the stereotype of Asian passivity? idk, anyone got thoughts on this?)— Noriko is clearly not encouraging good behavior. Neither will Quynh if Netflix lets 2O2G be as faithful to the comics as TOG1 was.

Which means the Law 282 conversation might be…unavoidable? Somewhere along the line, we still end up in the hotel room with Andy, on the floor, pleading for her crew to not abandon her, even though she is the one who abandoned their cause.

This sets up a circumstance in which Fade Away might be spent trying to redeem Andy/Charlize Theron, bring her back to the “good side,” teaching her to be better— thereby highlighting her experience and “salvation,” rather than making a point of her past, and the reality of her actions. In other words, a “pity the white woman” fest.

(Because I’m crossing my fingers that TOG production/Netflix know better) In an effort to prevent that from happening, I wonder if Rucka will combine Force Multiplied with Fade Away for the 2O2G script. Given the series’ track record, I think it is feasible that FA’s release coincides with 2O2G’s, and that it finally resolves Andy. Whether by revitalizing her energy as a do-some-gooder, or finalizing her vulnerability by putting her 6,000 years to rest, thus handing off the reigns to Nile and a new generation of leadership.

The last thing I want to leave off with is: I don’t hate Andy. It’s a credit to Rucka and fellow writers (from film and fandom) that I don’t.

I might not love her character as enthusiastically as I used to, but that doesn’t mean I’m not amazed by her creation. She’s a female lead whose sexuality is not exploited by the male gaze; whose emotional vulnerability is not considered a hindrance to, nor an explanation for, her battle prowess; and whose unabashed queerness is not reinforced by cookie cutter stereotypes. Andromache the Scythian is AMAZING.

That doesn’t mean I’m going to excuse or ignore her most glaring and contemptible flaw. More than anything, I’d love to sweep her past under the carpet so that 2O2G can be problem-free. Like many people, I just want to enjoy a movie without getting triggered.

I want to see Quynh and Andy kiss and make up. I want to see Joe rocking Those Shorts, and a cheeky shot of Nicky appreciating his ass. I want to see Nile welcoming Booker back to the family again. Some form of group therapy would be chef’s kiss.

But something about glossing over/removing slavery from Andy’s narrative reeks of dishonesty, and reminds me that the (Hollywood) movie industry is full of people who do not want to be tainted with negative perceptions. Understandably, appearances are their livelihood— but that particular truth is something they still have to reckon with.

[wangxiandecoded]

Episode 7 (& Wangxian Meta)

Previous Episode | Next Episode

(Spoilers for the whole show ahead!)

The Chosen Ones

Lan Zhan, if this scene foreshadows anything, it’s that he’s certainly going to become a part of your domestic affair.

There is something powerful about the first and only female Lan clan leader giving them her blessing and saying it was destiny that they found their way to her just as she’s about to fade into oblivion. Wangxian are the archetypal Chosen Ones who have been entrusted with keeping the Yin Iron safe. And if this was yet another straight adventure story that delivers poetic justice, we would expect it to conclude with these two people ending up together - and that’s what The Untamed does in a roundabout way with our heroes.

Nothing to see here. Just two guys tripping over each other because the sacred string of fate pulled them towards each other.

Lan Zhan, I’ll Be Your Secret Keeper!

This episode is full of instances where Wei Ying refuses to tell other characters what really happened in the cave, then turns around to look at Lan Zhan with a proud look that screams, “I’m so good at keeping secrets, aren’t I? We are soulmates! Come on, validate me, Lan Zhan!”

The expression on Lan Qiren’s face when Wei Ying calls Lan Zhan his confidant/soulmate. No words are needed. 

The Yin Iron Secret™ is obviously bringing them closer and they begin to share loaded glances that convey everything they wish to say without actually having to. Thus begins the process of everyone third wheeling Wangxian.

Jiang Cheng thinks Wei Ying should move into the Cloud Recesses since he’s hanging out with Lan Zhan all the time. Lan Zhan hears that and appears to be a tad bit disappointed Wei Ying might never actually do that since their lifestyles are leagues apart. It’s tough being Wei Wuxian sometimes.

The Lantern That Started Everything

We are here, folks! The moment that started it all, the scene that defined Wangxian’s story. Once again, Wangxian are framed in contrast with the two straight couples. 

Lan Zhan and Wei Ying are standing together and look at each other while making their wish, just like Yanli x Jin Zixuan, and Jiang Cheng x Wen Qing.

Lan Zhan says he is used to doing it alone and Wei Ying comments old habits can be changed, which just points to the latter’s impact on the former’s life.

Wei Ying has another accomplishment to cross off his list : Finally made Lan Zhan smile today!

Mian Mian asks Yanli why she didn’t make the lantern together with Jin Zixuan, as praying together is a custom followed by couples that are to be married. And that tells you everything you need to know about Lan Zhan and Wei Ying’s relationship.   

The first of many times that Lan Zhan rushes in to hold Wei Ying back.

Lan Zhan for a second believed Wei Ying finally learnt his lessons and crossed over to the lawful good side.. but come on, you love him precisely because he would never do that. And those ants are cute.

Jiang Fengmian proposes to cancel the troth between the clans to marry Yanli and Jin Zixuan. It is worth mentioning that Jiang clan’s approach to marriage is to never force their kids into a lifelong relationship they are not sure they want as they believe in “following one’s nature”. When even straight relationships are progressive and value happiness above all else, what is to stop the show from selling us a central gay romance that ends happily? Absolutely nothing.

We’ve now seen both the protagonists reject the romantic idea of spending their life with a woman. 

Missing Lan Zhan Hours Now Open

Wei Ying pouting like.. What do you mean we have to leave already? Lan Zhan literally just started acknowledging me as his soulmate. 

Oh no, Lan Zhan.. Why aren’t you including your soulmate on the super secret plan™?!

Wei Ying’s reason for wanting to say goodbye to only Lan Zhan out of all the disciples is, “Why can’t I admire his talents? You’re all losers who can’t fight me and he is my Match (Made In Heaven), I desire for an equivalence (and a meaningful union between souls.)”

The camera moves from the Yunmeng siblings squabbling to Lan Zhan observing them from a distance. Zewu Jun joins him and comments that after Wei Ying’s departure, Yun Shen will be silent once more. Lan Zhan’s face falls a little, understandably because he was getting more than used to Wei Ying’s chaotic presence in his life.

Zewu Jun is worried if Lan Zhan will be alright on his journey alone and raises the idea if he should tell Wei Ying about his quest. But Lan Zhan, our beloved idiot, still needs that extra push to come to terms with his feelings and realize Wei Ying will instantly drop everything for a lifetime by his side if he were to only say the word.

Rabbits Symbolise The Chinese Gay God

Even before the fandom taught me that the Chinese god of homosexuality is literally The Rabbit God, so the inclusion of rabbits is gloriously queer subtext, I could gather that they symbolised Wangxian’s feelings for each other. They both talk to the rabbits when the other is not there, Wei Ying paints a rabbit lantern for them to wish together, Lan Zhan raised Ah Yuan among these rabbits because they reminded him of Wei Ying and after 16 years, Lan Zhan drunkenly admits he likes rabbits (the equivalent of saying he’s always liked Wei Ying), they buy the rabbit lantern together and finally come back to find these rabbits in Cloud Recesses. The rabbits are a part of the Wangxian family.

The reappearance of the rabbits when Lan Zhan and Wei Ying’s dynamics have changed 16 years later is very telling. Their relationship by then has survived death and the miraculous return from death; it’s gone through the whole cycle of the promise of love, the pain of loss, the joy of redemption. The rabbits bring their life full circle to denote the certainty and comfort in the fact that they have each other after the trials and tribulations their romance has withstood. Wei Ying even says he isn’t scared of what happens anymore in that scene. There is nothing that can separate our heroes after this, they just have to brave whatever comes together.

And then there’s this promo picture and scene from a later episode where two rabbits are kissing.

This is how The Untamed screamed gay rights : “We’re not saying the heroes are gay, but the Yunshen rabbits are definitely gay and no one can do anything about it!” Only, the rabbits are such a huge part of this love story. 

Wangxian’s Promise of Love and Honor

When they make the wish together, Lan Zhan looks at Wei Ying with a kind of awe and reverence like, how did I not recognize him from the moment we met? He eyes the pouch containing the Yin metal and realizes they are both more alike than he thought, that this guy is possibly and most definitely his soulmate. This is an important stage in their relationship.

When he hears Wei Ying wish that he wants to eliminate evil and protect the weak in exchange for a life without anything weighing down their hearts - I think it is at this point he begins to see him as more of a life partner with whom he can share everything, than just a friend. Because Wei Ying’s impact on Lan Zhan’s life is so profound it alters his being, tilts his axis and expands his perspective. Wei Ying brought with him a free-spirited, flexible measurement of morality and an ardent quest for truth that no 3000 rules of the Lan clan had ever laid down. He realizes the rules he grew up on are right but Wei Ying, with all his moral complexity, can also be right. Wei Ying’s companionship introduced Lan Zhan to a fluid perception of right and wrong that he found perfectly acceptable. This shows Lan Zhan and Wei Ying belong to the new generation that is here to reform the broken system built by their ancestors. In this moment, by choosing to view him as his unequivocal soulmate, by acknowledging their paths are to be forever intertwined, Lan Zhan liberates his mind from the monochromatic perception of life he was brought up on. By making this wish together, Lan Zhan trusts Wei Ying to always do the right thing from now on and trusts the both of them to lead a life that they are proud of.

He doesn’t know right now that staying committed to this wish is going to demand everything from them in the future, but he does know that Wei Ying is the greatest person he has ever met and the first one who is so compatible with him. And that is a revelation to Lan Zhan because there are easily a million things that set them apart. All the same, he sees his own core values reflected in his soulmate. He decides it couldn’t be the worst thing in this world to stand by Wei Ying’s side especially when he’s doing the most honorable thing they both know to be true. This common ground means something to Lan Zhan, even if we don’t hear him admit that. Because here is Wei Ying telling him he doesn’t need to be alone anymore even though he’s used to it. That he doesn’t have to go through any of it alone as long as he is there: fight for justice, vanquish evil, or even simply go through everyday life. Lan Zhan’s face in this scene is understandably the face of a man who is falling in love.

The promise they make to each other on this cliff was in a way, a promise to follow their own path that ended up operating above the constraints of and reinvented the cultivation world’s jurisdiction. There are going to be many forces trying to convince them it's not the right way, but the path they share, which is both the literal path of justice and their love for each other (they are synonymous, after all) is the one they courageously forge and painfully commit to when their world is unable to go on existing with the faulty principles it was founded on. That is why their romance survives every obstacle in the end. It is founded on a love that runs so deep it recognizes and respects the other in the many lifetimes spent serving their just cause. Their love, and the extents it goes to in order to thrive, is the answer to all the troubles that ail their world. And it all began with this lantern. 

This is why The Untamed is the gay drama and Wangxian are the gay warriors the universe has been waiting for. It staged gay romance in a realm ruled by gentry and the supernatural, giving us equal parts of gore as there is swashbuckling, gut-wrenching drama. Literally never been done before.

In conclusion, Episode 7 deepens the bond between our heroes and sets up the main struggle in their romance as we wait to see what will become of the wish they made together. But one thing is clear : They are bound together forever, not just by their love for each other but also by their common cause. That is why the road they walk on can never be different. It will forever be the single plank road they will always find their way back to.

[popculturebuffet]

The Legend of the Three Caballeros: Dope-A-Cabana Review (Commissioned by WeirdKev27)

Salduos Amigos! Since i’m covering a full series, i’d like to welcome any newcomers to the first part of the epic final stretch of THE RIDE OF THE THREE CABLLEROS! For those of you just joining us, a few months back WeirdKev27, easily my biggest supporter as the only one who comissions any reviews from me, asked if I could do a big project for him: a comission of EVERY major american apperance of those three happy chappies in matching serapes. Give i’ve ALWAYS loved the boys ever since house of mouse and had been sitting on Legend of the Three Cablleros for far too long, more on that in a minute obviously, I happily agreed. Plus the rather nice influx of cash from the comissions was very welcome. If your intrested in comissioning your own, hit me up via my direct messages. It’s 5 dolalrs an episode, though I do do discounts on orders of 3 or more, and 10 for a movie, with again discounts for orders of more than one. And yes that plug was very shamless, but again I have no other job than this.  Back to the point these reviews have taken me on a wonderful journey: I got to rewatch the movie and revel in the fun songs, acid trips and super horny Donald Duck, got to both revisit one of Don Rosa’s best story and read another all time classic from the man I hadn’t before, took a trip back to the house of mouse to hear some great songs and see some great cartoons.. and some not so great ones, took a small detour to Mickey and The Roadster Racers to be baffled and annoyed though I am proud to say it was my first review back after I came down with Cornovirus and lost a week of work time. And finally I covered the town where everyone was nice, and got to see the boys have a joyous reunion with Donald and be lushly animated while.. Dewey jackassed around in a B-Plot and Webby resisted the urge to throat chop him. It’s been a long ride and you can find all of it is so far RIGHT HERE IN THIS CONVIENT LINK ! CLICK IT NOW IF YOUR CURIOUS. Point is while this was well paid for.. it’s easily one of the projects i’ve been most proud of and while i’m sad to see it winding down, i’m proud of what i’ve done so far, and I just wanted to heartily thank Kevin for the ride and for being so generious as to fund the whole damn thing. Your a good dude man. 

Which brings us here, to the grand finale. The Legend of the Three Caballeros! As the boys first starring roll as a group since the movie, there was really no other way this retrospective could end, and since I have a terrible problem with procastination and really hated this series version of daisy I just kept pushing back watching the series until now. I’m not proud of it but I am happy to correct it and hope you’ll all come along with me.  Before we get started I could not find much background on the show. It was directred by Matt Danner who was the character designer for the utter classic Xiaoilin Showdown and currently works on the Muppet Babies reboot, so i’m happy he’s still getting work. Otherwise I couldn’t find much. The most I could was on tv tropes, claming the series was orignally meant for Netflix.. and while I have no proof and this could easily be conjecture.. i’m inclined to belivie it. The series was apparently done long before the Ducktales reboot, to the point Frank Angrones was only vaguely aware of it and it didn’t even remotely impact the series, with Panchito and Jose only debuting in Season 2 because the original idea for bringing them in was scrapped. So while I don’t have proof.. I’m inclined to belivie it since it makes sense: Disney DID have a healthy relationship with Netflix once, setting up the MCU shows and likely being happy there.. but eventually they wanted their own corner of the sky, and likely didn’t want one of their shows bolted to the network like all their marvel shows were.  The problem this created though is Disney was CLEARLY left with a show they no longer had a place for. But even with that the show was still done, they COULD have put it on the Disney Now app or just aired it on the Disney Channel. See if there was any fan intrest in season 2 or throw one into production to at least beef up the episode count. I mean the Cabs have a built in fanbase, kids would likely love it... it’s the logical choice. But this is Disney. They’ve had to be drug kicking and screaming into representation, to the point they had to be fought for the gay romance subplot in owl house to happen, try to hide that the Sparkshort “Out” is about a gay man struggling with coming out despite having you know reams of content on the service with either gay subtext or out and out gay characters, and their attempts at doing representatoin to score points in other little ways.. have been pathetic, easily missable bits in movies that could , and have been, edited out in more homophobic countries. My point is yeah i’m still sore about how they and a LOT of the animation industry have to be dragged into doing the right thing over profit, and they often make very stupid decisions for seemingly no reason. They are a good company a good chunk of the time.. but Disney has done fucked up quite a bit. This is one of those times.  Instead they dumped the show on the Disney Life app in the phillipines and slowly some other countries, basically the Disney Now equilvent over there, and then just sort of forgot about it until Disney Plus launched. And given how many shows they HAVEN’T put on the streamer for again, seemingly no reason, it is a nice suprise the show finally got a release on there in the US. But before that, and proving what a massive mistake just abandoing the show was, the show did gather a massive fanbase via people uploading the episodes online. So yeah the show was treated REALLY shittily for stupid reasons, but thankfully it still has a fanbase to this day and said shabby treatment, as it always does, just encouraged fans to support it harder. So naturally i’m more than happy to give the series some spotlight as fanbase or no, it badly needs it and Disney sure as hell dosen’t want to do it. So if somebody’s gotta do it, might as well be me. This is the Legend of the Three Cablleros.  We open on some narration from Xandra, Goddess of Adventure. Granted she hasn’t been identified yet, and won’t be till next episode.. buuuut it’s easier on me to not have to dance around her name so your learning it now. But Xandra narrates that long ago there were epic battles against the good and the evil and all that by epic heroes, and it’s all cumilated in the Legend of the Three Cablleros. Post title drop we’re treated to the boys, in cool looking armor and with neat weapons, fighting a purple monster man as you do in an really beautiful and epic sequence As this scene illustrates the animation for this show is GORGEOUS, a lavish update of the standard disney style with nice use of shadows. It feels almost film quality in it’s work, and it’s an utter treat to watch and opening at the end was a good call: it both ratchets up excitement and allows the first ep to have some action since this one, as part of a two part premiere, is mostly setup. It’s eyecatching, exciting and makes you want to know what the hell is going on. And since Xandra realizes MAYBE starting the story at the climax was a bad idea, she takes us back a bit.

Okay maybe not that far. No we open properly at Donald’s house, where it’s his birthday! And like the movie, it’s Friday the 13th, an excellent call back. Donald’s making his breakfast, boliling some tea and.. talking with the weird foced warped refelection in the kettle who can apparently only say “right back at you handsome, wink”. Seriously I have so many questoins and all of them are about what this guy is, why is Donald so calm about all of this, and is he still alive after Donald destroys his tea kettle later.  Donaldo gets a call from Daisy, whose visting to spend the day with him and is waiting patiently int he bad part of town. I didn’t know Duckburg had a bad part of town but given Glomgold has to get his sharks and bombs somewhere, i’m not surprised. Unless he special orders them, but even then what if he needs a shark or a bomb in a hurry? He’s gotta get them somewhere and now we know where. So there’s that. So all’s going well until Donald’s asshole boss calls and forces him to come in despite Donald having the fucking day off and it presumably being on the schedule. So Donald rushes to work, and we do get some great gags but as you’d expect for Donald it goes poorly and he botches a kid’s haircut despite the mother being very rude.. and also a female version of pete. LIke.. did he remarry after the divorce from peg or is that his sister? Does that mean PJ and PIstol have a cousin I never knew about? I want answers dammit.. and picutures of spider-man. Not for any slander job I just really like spider-man. 

Eh it’ll do.As i’m doing a full series this time i’m stopping to talk about the main cast as we go soooo.... Tony Anselmo is naturally Donald, even pitching in to consult the crew on Donald’s characterization here, as really what better expert is there? He’s voiced Donald since the original Ducktales and has stuck with the roll since, only taking a break for Mickey and the Roadster racers and that’s likely because between finishing up this series and the Mickey Mouse shorts, and moving on to Ducktales 2017, he likely simply didn’t have the time for it. Granted given how little he was used in the first season of the show, he probably still could’ve done it but regardless, he’s a legend.  Daisy is voiced by Tress Macneile, who not only has voiced the character since House of Mouse and is easily the best voice for her, but is also one of the most storied and legendary va’s in the buisness, having been at this since the 80′s with zero signs of stopping. Just to name a few of her more notable roles, in chronological order; Gadget Hackenwrench, Babs Bunny, Agnes Skinner, Charlotte Pickles, Dot Warner (Which as of last year she’s picked up again and will do the same for Babs, just in case you thought i was exagerating on the “zero signs of stopping” thing), Pookie from Hey Arnold, Mom, Hoodsey Bishop, and Queen Oona among MANY, MANY smaller rolls. I didn’t even realize Charlotte or Hodsey were here, she’s that talented and deserves all the praise.. and way better rolls as Daisy than this one but we’ll both get to that and thankfully much like with Tony, the reboot’s giving her character some depth to work with so she gets to reallys tretch her chops. The woman turns 70 here, will likely keep going until she dies, and is wonderful and deserves more respect. 

 So because this is Donald, life wont’ stop punching him in the face and it turns out his house burned down, the fire people are destroying everything because their assholes, seriously they destroy both a family heirloom and a picture of his parents despite not being on fire. I’d be genuinely suprised if their general strategy wasn’t scremaing “fire, fire fire” and then going “rock rock rock” while they throw rocks on it. Super brucey bonus prize for the first person who gets that refrence and comments on it. I’ll get back to this in a second but SOMEHOW, beisdes loosing his home, all his possesions and his job... it gets even WORSE and Daisy calls, refuses to listen to him despite him having VERY valid excuses and breaks up with him. Oh and then the fire fighters gladly talk about going home to their in tact houses  and partners. 

So yeah let’s talk about this. This first 6 or 7 minutes.. is why I didn’t return to the show for a while. My brain has a bad habit of glomming onto certain parts of things, so it remembered the rough to sit through and not very funny first act.. and not the rest of the episode which is very good and likely more indiciative about how good the series is. Thankfully it does get better but this first act .. frames things like it’s DONALD’S fault somehow. I mean yes he did burn his house down.. but even that really isn’t his fault. He was called away suddenly, wasn’t thinking and made a mistake. Hell he proabably woudl’ve had more left if the fire department hadn’t gone crazy with the axes. His being called into work? He took the day off, and his boss was just a dick. His screwing up at the job? he was genuinely trying his best and doing his best and the client was just wholly unresonable. Donald did nothing wrong but the episode WANTS to frame him like some sort of screwup.. which he is, it’s Donald.. but not in this case. It was just a string of uncomfortable to watch bad luck that cumilates in him having nothing left. It’s not funny, it’s jsust really sad and it’s REALLY hard to tell the tone their going for as they seem to awkwardly bounce from jokes to Donald being utterly devistated and alone. 

And the worst of this.. is Daisy. Daisy is EASILY the most infamous part of the show, as their portryal.. is pretty bad and apparently gets worse. We’ll see as we go but yeah.. her screaming at and breaking up with her boyfriend without listneing to his side and giving the claim we only have HER word on that he’s always screwing up, ON HIS BIRTHDAY no less, when he’s done nothing wrong, does not make a good first impression nor the fact the show seems to AGREE WITH HER. And look Donald is a trainwreck, this is true.. but the show dosen’t remotely portray him as one until AFTER this scene. As I said nothing that happened was his fault. Donald isn’t irresponsible or a screwup or dating a high schooler or anything. He isn’t Scott Pilgrim. He just has really bad luck. Again, we do see some foibles in the scenes to come.. but we don’t see any that would justify her claims, especially since she seemed perfectly happy earlier with him. Now if she’d say brought up some screwups in the first scene, and gently at that, then this would’ve worked.. but as it stands she just comes off as MASSIVELY unsymapthetic.. especially since Donald later calls her nieces over for help, which is objectively weird not gonna lie.. so she now KNOWS he had to move to a new house and his likely burned down.. yet still apparently has nothing good to say about him. 

It didn’t help this rubbed me the wrong way in a very special way. As i’ve made plain before I don’t like THIS version of Daisy, the nagging, selfish, vindictive asshole who will gladly try and cheat on donald, dump him at a moments notice and you know PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE. Which just in case you think i’m exagerating...

She fucking upercutted him..and like here for something that isn’t his fault. I mean this Daisy isn’t physically beating Donald.. but that’s a VERY low bar to clear. And emotional abuse is just as bad, so there. My point is too often in the comics when written poorly, Daisy is a pretty terrible person and I REALLY didn’t want a screen adaptation of this form of Daisy. It took a WHILE to recover from not liking daisy over this version, with help from remembering house of mouse, some good barks story with her and the AMAZING Ducktales version and the suprisingly good Quack Pack version.. I did. But yeah.. this is not a good sign of things to come for the character in this show. 

So yeah Donald’s heart is in the basement and his week is at an all time low when a post man shows up and gives him a letter.. well puts it in the box for a good gag but semantics. But the letter turns around as his ancestor Clinton Coot left him an inhertance for his 3Xth birthday: a house of some kind in the swanky neighboring town of New Quackmore. And i’ll also say.. it’s REALLY nice that for once, we focus on the Duck side of Donald’s legacy, or rather the coot but semantics, instead of the McDuck part. Don’t get me wrong, I fucking love the clanmcduck, always will and I love Ducktales exploration of it.. but it’s still nice to acknowledge Donald comes from two sides and while one of those may be humble farmers, they still accomplished a lot, including founding Duckburg in most continuities including presumably this one. It’s also a good way to seperate thigns from other properties including the reboot: focusing on a part of Donald’s lineage that isn’t usually touched on and making THEM just as badass as the other side. 

So we get a quick montage as Donald takes a cab there and takes in the rich and fancy sights. It’s also a brilliant way to set up New Quackmore and it’s attached instutite as a fancy, upperclass place.. and thus perfectly clash it with Donald. Donald ends up getting dropped off at a big mansion.. which is not his , but belongs to the insittutes head, Baron Von Sheldgoose, played by WAYNE KNIGHT. 

Hell. Yes. I freaking love Wayne Knight. In case you don’t know who the man above is, or at least don’t recognize his face, Wayne Knight is a very funny and talented actor and voice actor with a lengthy career primarily in side rolls, with the rolls that he broke out with being loveable asshole and Jerry’s enternal nemisis Newman on Seinfeld and Dennis Nedry, aka “that guy who got sprayed acid in his face by those horrifying frilled dinosaurs that will never not haunt my nightmares”. Seriously that scene fucked me up as a kid and I could not watch that part of the movie. For the most part he’s been a side character man but he has done a LOT of voice work, most notable Zurg in Buzz Lightyear of Star Command, Dojo for the aformentioned and excellent Xiaolin Showdown, and Mr. Blik for Catscratch and I wish he’d do more. He also recently voiced the penguin in Harley Quin so when I get to that you better belivie i’m looking forward to it. Point is while he may not always get the glory, and had to settle for starring in a mediocre tv land sitcom to get a steady paycheck once, the man is VERY talented, very funny and perfectly cast here. 

So Donald makes himself home, finds out it’s not HIS home and gets thrown out by the snooty rich asshole’s bodyguards. As you’d expect. Donald does find HIS home, a run down cabana next door to the mansion with caution tape all over. Still Donald takes it best he can as it’s better than no home at all> What he doesn’t take well is finding out from the executor of the will that he’s not the only one inheriting the house... which is  absolutley fair. The guy just had the worst day of his life, and this lady didn’t bother to put in the letter to any of them that they were sharing the house. The Sheldgoose thing was just an average Donald screw up. This is just this lady going...

But yes we meet our boys.. and the introductions are naturally given this series is about them the best we’ve gotten so far: Jose is thrown off a bus, having ran out of fair, and having wooed all the ladies on board, and quickly charms the executor and is perfectly cordial to Donald, while Panchito parachutes out of a plane and marvels at how he went from nothing to having two new best friends, a run down shack and a sleezy lawyer! In short the two make a great first impression, helped by wonderful casting.  Jose is voiced by Eric Bauza, a talented voice actor whose had WAY too many roles to list here, but two of the most notable are being the current voice of Bugs and Daffy, and his most notable role outside that recently has been playing Splinter in Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. But the guy is endlessly talented, seems really nice, and is easily one of my faviorite Jose’s so far after just one episode. He just.. gets the character perfectly and is thankfully NOT another white guy stepping into the role, so that’s nice. He easily oozes the charm and layabout nature Jose and was a natural in the role and i hope he gets to take it up again at some point.  Speaking of naturals we have Jamie Camil as Panchito, who easily steps into the guys boundless energy and the sterotpical bits are swapped out for making him a cloud cuckoolander instead, which I genuinely love and fits the character perfectly. He’s best known for CW Soap Jane the Virgin, where his charcter Rodrigo just sounds like a delight, but has recently picked up a pretty good voice acting career, vocing Don Karnage in the Ducktales reboot, Globgor in Star vs the Forces of Evil and Todd’s Stepdad George in Bojack Horseman. I only hope he gets more voice work as he’s really damn great at it and it’s wonderful to get to see him in a role that’s not limited to a few episodes at best for a change. 

So Donald’s less than happy about this, again it’s hard to really be that mad at him when he’s had a really, REALLY bad day and wasn’t told about this, but it’s kept to just the light level of grumpy as to not make him unlikeable. Granted after that intro it’d take a LOT to make him unsympathetic, but after their version of Daisy I really dont’ want to test this series.  Our boys also find out they have a groundskeeper, ari, aka THE ARCUAN BIRD! He’s just a delight any time he pops up, doing his usual “ya ta ta ta” bit, and being adorable and hilarioius as always.. and also hilariously failing to fix the boys door. So Donald ends up just accepting he has roomates now, nothing he can do, and the three explore the house finding all sorts of cool old artifacts, feeling they’ve stumbled onto something specail. And you know what that means: YARD SALE! Seriously it feels like a bit out of Wet Hot American Summer or Stella, a  series from the same creators you really should check out and that is high praise, trust me. 

I wish this series was streaming somewhere.. I mean we finally got Clone HIgh streaming Viacom, get on that. Anyways, it’s just.. fucking hilarious, and a LOT of this episode is once we walk back from the writers kicking donald in the junk and acting like it was his fault. Once Donald gets his inhertiance, the episode picks up immensley and we see the shows real charm and hilarirty fly, with jokes coming at a rapid and wonderful pace. The show really did impress me with the second half and made me utterly excited for tommrow.. or I guess today’s, look at the follow up.  But we’re still in this episode and being a rich asshole, Sheldgoose isn’t happy about a yard sale, though given this series standards, we not only get some great deliveres from Knight of an outraged “A YARD SALE?!”... but a wonderful gag where Sheldgoose out to white guy it up and yell at them over this..accidently takes a wrong turn in his massive house, and turns around, not loosing how upset he is once.  Meanwhile, we meet.. April, May and June. Yeah apparnetly Della isn’t dead or lost in this continuity, so the boys are MIA, and are instead replaced by Daisy’s Nieces, who I hope show up in the reboot before it ends. Especially since the show makes them WAY more tolerable than classic huey dewey and louie and instead enjoyable like Ducktales HDL. While not as indvidual as those three, the three are still idendtical outside of outfits, their voice actress Jessica DiCicco uses her consderiable talents and experince to give each one a unique voice, so while they all share a voice actress, none of them sound alike. And to round out our main cast for now, as our last members will be joining us fully next time, let’s talke about Jessica DiCicco. Jessica is a very talented and increasingly prolific voice actor and if you haven’t heard of her, and you probably have, you’ve defintely heard her voice. Starting out with Disney, hence why the probably called on her for this, she did the voices of Maggie for the Buzz on Maggie and Melina for Emperor’s New School before breaking out as Flame Princess on Adventure Time, whose both one of my faviorite characters from the show and one we’ll be digging into starting next month. And not one to rest easily she picked up a second set of iconic rolls vocing Lynn and Lucy Loud on The Loud HOuse, and funnily enough using those voices for two of the girls here. And along with Loud House she’s also currently starring in it’s Pony and is int he main cast of Close Enough as Candace. My point is she’s exceedingly talented.. as is this whole cast, as it’s a DAMN excellent cast and just further sells that this series deserves better.  We’ll get into the girls more next time as they don’t do much here other than get called in by Donald for help, with what I saw of episode 2 fleshing them out more. Point is Sheldgoose offers a million dollars for the cabana and all it’s stuff and the boys are glad to sell.. they just have to find something Sheldgoose desperately wants, a mysterious golden atlas encrusted with Jewels.  Our heroes head in to find it with Panchito finding it, and being very specific about it. We also get a nice call back to Ari destroying the door as Jose cleverly calls on him to destroy the lock. So our heroes open the book... and a goddess pops out and threatens to kill them all. 

Final Thoughts: Dope-A-Cabana is a decent intro the series, but as i’ve said it’s heavily hampered by a weak and mean spirited first act. But once it gets going it REALLY gets going and as part 1 one of a two part pilot, it does it’s job well once it does get going: introducing our three boys and one of our antagonists well and setting up the side cast and preparing for our last to major additions Next Time: The Boys go on their first adventure, Sheldgoose finds a boss and the girls find their voice. Thanks for Reading, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye. 

[nekophiliaff]

how they move (a personal reference)

I said I was going to do a Twitter thread for my headcanons on how the characters dance in my GenIno socmed au When You Move (I’m Moved). But there was just so much to unpack. 

So my self-indulgent ass wrote a whole LONG ASS post instead!!

Most of these are just for the benefit of the the story (Sakura being unable to look alluring when dancing to sexy choreos lmao) but some of these I believe would be true outside of the story (Hinata having ballet experience, Shikamaru is a tutting machine). 

Genma Shiranui

Big Daddy G mainly dances hiphop but he is not master of one style/technique (whereas kks is god of popping and isolation, obi is a b-boy). BUT.

HE IS AMAZING AT CHOREOGRAPHY N FREESTYLE. THIS MAN. PUT ON ANY SONG. HE WILL DANCE. BEAUTIFULLY. JAZZ. HOUSE. SALSA. ANYTHING. You best believe this sexy motherfucker memorized TaeYang's Wedding Dress choreo in high school and decided from then on that he was going to be a dancer.

Ino Yamanaka

Ex-cheerleader (position: dancer and backup flyer). Used to be stiff but loosened up after time away from cheering. Mostly hiphop n absolute beast with sexy dance (but ALSO contemporary bc she is flexible ((but not as flexible as hinata)) n not afraid to fall. Oops.).

Think BP's Lisa. She takes choreo. ELEVATES IT. Sets the blueprint. Shows you what it's supposed to look like. Every choreographer's dream. Plus, she knows to communicate with the audience while performing. She is trained NOT to get too carried away or too lost in the moment.

Obito “Veto” Uchiha 

Obito loves breakdancing. He's not as fast or powerful as Gai and Lee but he knows how to work the floor. His moves are cleaner, more cohesive than the capoeira duo. When it comes to choreography, this man is GOOD but tends to FORGET STEPS bc he's TOO INTO THE MOVEMENT.

ALSO: "Naruto, Kiba, look! The parking lot is empty, let's do tUMBLES!!!!" Does stunts with Naruto, Kiba, Sasuke, Lee, and Neji.

Rin Nohara

Not originally a dancer. It will show when she's dancing with everyone else. BUT. The experience also comes across because she will never look out of place. She will execute choreo AS IT IS INTENDED.

Think how BoA dances in "Only One" or Kahi in Wall to Wall. It LOOKS EASY and SIMPLE when in reality, it's actually very difficult and requires understanding of how your body will move and look like (because if someone who isn't aware of their own body tried the Only One dance, it would most likely look AWKWARD.)

Kakashi “Kash” Hatake 

This man. Is GOD of classic locking, popping, and isolation. Will never give more power than is required of the choreo. His movements are smooth. Clean. Precise. He has full understanding and control of his body. Good in freestyle. Revels in minute movements.

Weakness? Do NOT expect him to CHOREOGRAPH a whole routine. He cannot. For the life of him. Create a routine.

Sakura Haruno

She. Is an absolute BEAST. This woman will stand beside Naruto and Chouji. and KRUMP. Total opposite of Kakashi's precision. She can pop like kks but hers is not as clean bc she puts more power in releasing her muscles. If they danced together, it would prolly look like this (skip to 0:38).

Sakura cannot EVER look alluring in a sexy choreo. She's got too much power (and swag). She can dance it. But it doesn't look sexy on her. It comes across more as attitude.

Tenten

Took martial arts as a kid (arnis). Transferred all that athleticism into dance. Will get doWN ON THE FLOOR WITH THE B-BOYS MAN (it's why she always got her hair tied) and just SPIN.

Also: Freestyle! When outside of a dance circle (a “cypher”), Tenten will make use of the surroundings to dance. practicing in the park?? ok lemme just juMP ON THAT LAMP POST and DANCE. parking lot??? OMG it’s veto’s car lemme just kick on it a lil bit on Rin’s behalf. 

Hinata Hyuuga

Took ballet as a kid. HATED the control. HATED being too restricted. Taught herself contemporary and eventually hip hop (oh how the Hyuuga clan GASPED). Helps Genma choreograph contemporary numbers for S-Rank but mostly dances them with Sasuke.

As for hip hop, Hinata SERVES!!! Sakura’s POWER is overwhelming but Hina will hold her own just fine and will KILL YOU with the attitude in her EYES ok. Hinata working sexy routines with Rin is also a must-see.

Sasuke Uchiha*

Took ballet as a kid. Go-to guy for contemporary numbers. Only trusts Hinata to choreograph (and dance with) for contemp bc she's the only one WHO UNDERSTANDS the forms and techniques.

In hip hop, like Rin, he does the choreo AS INTENDED. He is also used for stunts sometimes because he jumps high n come on twinkle toes let's use that ballet experience to good use.

Shikamaru “Bullshik” Nara

No words for the TUTTING GENIUS. Clean angles. Fast hands. Can create scENERIES USING A WHOLE TEAM'S FINGERS, HANDS, ARMS, ELBOWS with his choreography. Ya know, like this but faSTER. 

Like Kakashi, he is also a master of popping and isolation. Not so much locking. Locking needs a lil more energy to pull off. He's too tired for that.

Shino Aburame

ROBOTIC. That's it. Jk. Also a master of popping, locking, and isolation but he has a specific style he sticks to whereas Kakashi is mostly just freestylin it n feeling the groove. Kash actually likes dancing with Shino and Shikamaru (my lovely funky trio). But Shino is mostly focused on his own thing. 

The one time Shino choreographed, Kakashi danced with him n it looked like this (it mellow af man).

Chouji “Ciao” Akimichi

S-Rank's very own KRUMP KING. Chouji is POWER incarnate. And only Sakura and Naruto can stand next to him, dance next to him when he's doing his thing. He may not be as FAST and AGILE as his teammates but. He will CRUSH choreo if u tell him to let loose. 

Break a leg? Chouji will BREAK THE FUCKIGN FLOOR with this routine!!!! 

Naruto Uzumaki

Almost a male version of Sakura only he isn’t afraid of stunts (yea she can’t even cartwheel). Takes ur Tiktok choreos and gives it the ENERGY it deserves!!!!! But, like Obito, he tends to FORGET CHOREO esp when he's feelin the music.

Also the glorified HYPE MAN of S-Rank. Someone else dancing in the circle? “YEEEAAAAA WORK IT!!!!!” Dancing WITH the team during training or on stage? “AYE AYE AYE LETS GOOOOO” his energy is CONTAGIOUS. 

Kiba Inuzuka

This man. An absolute SLUT FOR STUNTS. He rly prefers doing stunts than the dancing, tbh. Always pulling Naruto so they can practice whatever NEW THING he came up with!!!! (he mostly likes stunts bc the more impressive, the more the crowd cheers and he is a whore for cheers) he'd totally come up with smth like this with naruto, genma, and obito!

He is also good at creating choreo. But Kiba, pls STOP with the pelvic thrusts. Not all the routines need a pelvic thrust, u horndog. 

Neji “NJ” Hyuuga 

You mean ALL 3 JUNIOR members (and Gai) have martial arts experience?!??? Neji has a black belt in Taekwondo but that doesn’t matter. he is mostly just here for choreography. BUT this man is precise af. Never misses a beat. Is all about hitting those complimentary beats in between counts and listens for other instruments in the song.

Rock Lee (and Maito Gai*) 

Lee and Gai (both have some training in capoeira). Two peas in a pod. Both super into old school hiphop and breakdancing!!!!! Before Gai's injury, he and Gai were the ULTIMATE B-BOY duo. 

*Sasuke and Gai (along with Kurenai and Asuma) are no longer part of S-Rank, sadly. 

Ending note: I might make another post with just links to choreos and who I feel they belong to lmao bc this was way too fun to conceptualize. I didn’t include choreos to GenIno bc I don’t wanna spoil some of the other stuff lmao.

[mychemicallyimbalancedromantic]

it was always you

summary: ray is in love with chris. suddenly, he can't take it. but what does chris think? title taken from always by panic! at the disco. rating: teen fandom: life on mars pairing: ray/chris

read on ao3 

sometimes, ray thought as he entered the fifth hour of surveillance, christopher skelton was insufferable. of course, he was a great person- smarter than he thought, always ready to go along with any plan, an infectious positive force. for all that and more, ray loved him- which was precisely the problem. ray loved chris far more than he should, and was being quite painfully reminded of it as chris tossed his head back in his full, beautiful laugh- so much more unrestrained than his typical mannerisms. his heart twisted and his own, far less musical, laughter stopped.

noticing that ray was quiet, though not picking up on why, chris suppressed his giggles long enough to ask what had happened next. jumping slightly, ray blinked like he’d been pulled from deep thought and muttered “that’s it, really.” typically, chris couldn’t be accused of being overly observant, but he knew ray well enough to notice a difference between this closed-off murmur and his previous jovial tone. he turned, serious now, to ask what was wrong, but before he could say anything, ray opened his door and stepped out hurriedly, throwing out some excuse about buying cigarettes. chris  was left wondering what he’d missed as he stared at the half-full packet of cigarettes visible in ray’s jacket pocket through the open window.

when he thought ray had been gone for a disproportionate amount of time, chris decided to go and look for him. he picked up the keys to their unmarked car and a radio, then headed towards the small shop around the corner. realistically, he knew ray wouldn’t have gone there, but he still asked the shopkeeper if she’d seen him. she hadn’t, so chris returned to the car and set off in the opposite direction.

sure enough, when chris rounded the corner he saw ray leaning against a brick wall with a cigarette between his lips and the evidence of several more scattered around his feet. not sure how to approach, chris cleared his throat to make ray look over at him. “alright, mate?” he started, desperately trying to keep it light though the red tinge around ray’s blue eyes told him that wouldn’t last long. “you can smoke in the car, y’know.” ray smirked sadly. “i know.” 

“so what’s wrong?” as chris smiled encouragingly, ray felt like he had to close his eyes; chris’ smile was like seeing the sun after a long, dark night. though it had never occurred to him to describe anyone who wasn’t a woman as pretty, that word hit him like a slap to the face, seeing chris lit up in that golden afternoon glow.

 suddenly, ray was struck with a strange feeling, like he had nothing to lose. before the feeling could fade, he squeezed his eyes shut to completely block out chris’ face, took a deep breath, and just started talking. “i’m in love with you, chris,” he started. easily, the sentence could have stopped there, but when ray started talking he found himself unable to stop. “i really love you. it’s almost impossible to be around you sometimes- i look at you and it just hits me, and i  feel like i have to get away before it kills me.” finally, ray dared to open his eyes, then immediately wished he hadn’t. he didn’t know what he’d expected to see on chris’ face, but that completely baffled look, like he wore when translating sam’s monologues into proper english, wasn’t it. eventually, watching and waiting for chris’ face to show any signs of processing what he’d said became too painful, so ray turned and fled with hardly a thought spared to how he would get home (and it had to be home- the detectives he worked with would doubtless ask why he was crying, and ‘i’m in love with a fellow male officer’ wouldn’t be well received).

chris knew he had fucked up. he hadn’t reacted properly- or at all- to ray’s confession, which must have taken more guts than chris had, and so ray had left, bringing years of friendship with him. the whole way back to the unmarked car and then towards the station, chris tried desperately to think of something, anything he could have said, but his mind wouldn’t cooperate. words and fragments of sentences swirled around in his head, refusing to form full sentences. how did he feel about this? chris had never considered a relationship with ray- or any other man, for that matter. he wasn’t homophobic; his issues with sam and gene’s relationship stemming more from their obsession with kissing in the guv’s office without locking the door, but hadn’t thought he’d ever have that kind of relationship- wouldn’t he know if he was gay? maybe not though- he wouldn’t have assumed gene or ray were. stopped at a traffic light, chris let himself consider the possibility of being with another man- taking his hand, holding him, kissing him. he was surprised to find that he wasn’t that opposed to it, but there wasn’t that discernible click, the spark sam had mentioned when drunkenly talking about gene. then, he changed tactics and imagined those things with ray. suddenly, he felt the same as he did at the end of a case, when all the puzzle pieces slotted into place- like this was so undeniably right that he couldn’t believe he’d never seen it before. chris was in love with ray. probably had been for a long time, without ever realising. he swung the car around, aiming for ray’s flat before it was too late. 

as if he were deliberating, ray ran the rope through his fingers. for quite some time, he’d struggled to reconcile himself with the understanding that this was likely to be his ending. chris (just thinking that name made ray’s heart twist sharply) had tried to help when he’d found out, but ray couldn’t see an alternative. he’d ruined everything. chris would never want to talk to him again. he had no other close friends, gene had always been his superior so there was a power imbalance, and he didn’t talk to anyone else at the station outside of necessity, missing chris’ good nature that made him so easy to get along with. cid only ran smoothly when everyone could work together well, and ray had never been good at setting aside his differences to work with other people, as working with sam showed. ultimately, either ray or chris would have to leave the station, the way ray saw it as he mapped out the next several months of his hypothetical life. as the super didn’t know most of the team, he’d leave the decision to their closer colleagues. there wouldn’t be any competition, ray knew. chris was much better to get along with, more willing to learn, had much more potential than ray. maybe gene, having known ray for longer, would make a case for him, but sam obviously vastly preferred chris, and had a knack for twisting the guv’s iron resolve- he’d make sure chris stayed. no, ray thought, it was better if he just took himself out of the equation now. 

caution thrown to the wind, chris disregarded the speed limit all the way to ray’s flat. this revelation was too important. he kept up this speed out of the car, into ray’s building and up the stairs with a confession on his lips, only stopping when he flung the door open and flew into ray’s sparsely furnished living room. for, on the table, head just in front of a rope hanging from the ceiling, stood ray, clear blue eyes red and watery. “ray!” chris yelped, throat constricting. he’d feared that this might happen, but, ever the optimist, had hoped it wouldn’t. “ray, please, come down.” voice as hollow as his eyes indicated it would be, ray muttered, “just go, chris. leave me here. it’s better, trust me.” chris couldn’t bring himself to answer for a moment, fear and shock and desperation swirling through his mind and spilling down his cheeks. “how could this possibly be better, a life without you? please come down. i’m sorry i didn’t say anything, but i do love you. have for a while. i just didn’t realise- i should have. please, ray.” ray stared at chris, unblinking. “you’re just saying that. don’t feel like you have to. please just go.” the fragmented, monotonous sentences and flat voice terrified and saddened chris. “i mean it,” he added, trying to inject as much meaning into his voice as possible. “i really do, ray, i love you and i don’t know what i’d do if you… did this.” a glimmer of hope hit chris as ray’s eyes seemed to light back up. “you seem like you really mean that,” he said tentatively. chris nodded. “i do. please come down, ray, i don’t know what i’d do without you.” chris’ heart was in his mouth as ray paused a moment, then stepped back from the noose and down from the table. cautiously, as if approaching a wild, injured animal, chris moved towards ray. ray closed the gap between them and tangled his hands in chris’. for a few moments, the two just stood there, staring into each other’s eyes as if trying to commit them to memory. then, after what simultaneously felt like seconds and an eternity, ray leaned in and gently brushed his lips against chris’. this, he thought as chris kissed back, was worth staying alive for.

[beanplague-moved]

Pay Me for Gay People: A Dissertation

making a new commissions post for 2020. updates since the last one include:

i turned 18! and so now i have no problem telling you that i write explicit fic. i’ll be making a separate post detailing my specific perimeters re: porn, but i wanted to mention this because people on this website are very starved for porn, and i have to appeal to the marketable demographic.

i have some writing credentials. my writing has been featured in a few zines, [x, x, x, and others] if that means anything to you, and strangers on the internet seem to like me over on ao3.

i’ve largely stopped engaging with That Fandom I Was Known For. You Know The One. That Particular Anime.

i still enjoy money, and i still enjoy writing for money! so i’m making another post to get you to pay me money for writing.

so that’s my life! and so here are some links to writing pieces i’m especially proud of and/or that i feel show off my skills: x, x, x.

and here’s an excerpt of something impressive and flowery for those too lazy to click links:

Somehow, there is this simultaneous feeling of watching from the outside and being on the inside. Of watching the fox through the glass and tumbling in the field alongside it. Of witnessing the eclipse and being the sun, shining over the assembly below.

Harmony is… happy? If happiness can describe this cloying sensation that overtakes her. This is everything Harmony has ever wanted, since she learned to want, and she is scared to death of it.

For the first time, she thinks—it doesn’t matter if her feelings are artificial. If they are inauthentic replicas of the real thing, then so be it. She will be the observer and the participant. She will live for tumbling with the fox, and she will watch herself do so from the viewing platform. She will revel in this position as the Mechanic’s newest curiosity. She will let her nonexistent heart be mended and broken, so long as it’s the Mechanic who does the tinkering.  She will love the Mechanic for as long as she can.

wasn’t that kind of romantic? you might have no idea who those bitches are, but it seemed like something cute, didn’t it? you should pay me some money to write something like it about your preferred fictional couple. my skill is versatile and i will do my best to find a million different ways to describe x’s complicated feelings towards y, and vice versa.

why would i commission someone for writing?

if you have some disposable income and you were just dying for the 5k slow burn dragon age fic of your dreams between your oc and the random npc that you encounter 20 hours into the game, and you’re not going to write it, then why not pay me or some other shmuck some cash to do it?

okay, but if i commission you for fanfiction, how does that work? what if you haven’t heard of the media i want you to write for?

well, i don’t know how you found this post if you’re not into at least some of the same things i am, but i’m pretty flexible when it comes to scouring fanwikis and getting an idea of what a character is like. and i’ll consult with you to make sure everything written is in character and such.

(and if the thing you want me to write for is a novel or something, and you’re willing to provide me a copy should i not have the money to spend on it, i’ll straight up just read it. i have a lot of time and a very active goodreads. and if it’s a movie or short series i’ll just watch it.)

and don’t be afraid to ask me about media i don’t really engage with anymore! obviously i’m not going to write shit that’ll get a callout post written for me, but cash is cash. i’m totally welling to shell out for supernatural if it gets me $15.

original fiction?

commission me for OCs or vague prompts (f/f horror story about dating a werewolf, etc) and i’ll go hogwild. i love hearing about other people’s OCs, and writing for original stuff is real fun. it’s like being in a new undiscovered fandom.

here’s an example of an OC based commission i did for a friend. it’s super outdated, but if it looks good to you now, imagine how dope it’ll be now that i actually have a brain: x.

hard limits?

literally all the basic stuff that people talk about when making commission posts. i won’t write anything morally reprehensible (You Know What I Mean When I Say This) and i won’t engage with certain notorious fandoms. (message me and discuss if you’re not sure whether or not your thing fits under this umbrella.)

what do you like to write? what are you good at?

i try to keep my writing diverse but i must admit i’m a sucker for romance, and most of my fic is shipfic for that very reason. aside from that, i like to write comedic pieces but find equal fun in writing horror, speculative fiction, etc.

how long will i have to wait for my piece?

depends on the length of the piece and if i have other deadlines to meet at the time, but you will be involved in every step of the process and i’ll try to send regular updates on how it’s going. i’ll even link you to the google document if you need.

okay, how do i get my commission?

DM me on tumblr or email me (nellsiejean@gmail.com) and we’ll discuss from there. i charge $10 per 100 words and my prices are negotiable if you want something that i particularly vibe with, but don’t have the money for it.

i take payment through paypal or cashapp. i am extremely broke. please give me money.

[mobius-prime]

129. Knuckles the Echidna #26

The First Date (Part One of Three): She Loves You… (And You Know That Can't Be Bad!)

Writer: Ken Penders Pencils: Chris Allan Colors: Frank Gagliardo

So this arc is kind of… eh, awkward and dull. There's really no action, and it's all centered around love and dating and whatnot like we're suddenly watching a bad will-they-won't-they sitcom. Everything is extremely heteronormative - like look, I get this is the 90s, but everything is about "boys and girls" and just ends up sounding really juvenile as a result - and everyone is really out of character, too. I mean, do Knuckles or Julie-Su seem like the types to wander around all lovesick like shallow high schoolers? Not to mention the Chaotix, especially Vector, are… well… ugh, let's just jump into this and get it over with.

The Chaotix are hanging around in their usual burger joint, when Espio mentions that recently he's heard some surprising news about Prince Charmy - namely, that he's gotten engaged!

Now, you remember how a while back when the Chaotix were first introduced I had to clarify that unlike in the games, where he's six years old, in the comics he's sixteen? This is one of those moments that completely threw me when I first read the comics, because I had been operating under the assumption all this time that he was six. Now, obviously sixteen is still pretty damn young to be getting engaged, but I was sitting here with my eyebrows furrowed wondering why Charmy's friends didn't seem more concerned that this six year old child suddenly had a fiancée. I thought that his parents had arranged his marriage to Saffron (for whatever reason her name is misspelled in this issue, with only one F) and that by going back to his role as a prince he'd basically doomed himself to having his love life strictly controlled. But no, I guess somehow in the short time since he left the group and went back home, he got into a serious enough relationship with Saffron that he proposed (or hell, maybe she proposed, who knows). It's possible there was still pressure from his parents considering his heritage, but for now we can only assume that it was a totally voluntary action on his part to get engaged to Saffron, which is just… really, really weird.

Now Vector is very displeased to hear this. Vector is, in fact, something of a gigantic sexist douchebag in this issue, talking big about how no woman could handle him, prompting Espio and Mighty to joke that Julie-Su is more than his match if they were to go head to head in a fight. We then cut to Julie-Su angrily and viciously firing her blaster while shouting about Knuckles "running out on her."

Geez, man. You think her insurance covers blaster burn marks on the walls? She's mostly angry because she wants to talk to Knuckles one on one, but he's not there with her right now. He's with his father, in some kind of apartment-like space within Haven (it's not really clear, but I'm assuming Haven given we're talking about Locke here) as his father makes him breakfast. Out of nowhere, Knuckles asks his father about "why boys and girls get together," prompting Locke to immediately spit out his coffee. Knuckles, unfazed by the sudden brown-colored backwash all over the table, starts going on about how whenever he's around Julie-Su, he feels "weird."

This is maybe my least favorite part of Kenders' worldbuilding in the comic. Apparently, the Soultouch is an instant romantic attraction between two members of the opposite sex amongst echidnas, essentially love at first sight. It's not outright stated, but in case you haven't guessed, this is why Julie-Su so abruptly left the Dark Legion when she first spotted Knuckles many issues ago, feeling like she "had to find him" but didn't know why. Knuckles asks that if the Soultouch is accurate, why Locke and Lara-Le ended up splitting up, to which Locke shrugs and says that he doesn't know, but even the best of relationships require a lot of work, which is maybe the most accurate thing written in this entire arc. Knuckles then utterly hilariously, and completely accidentally, makes his case for homosexuality by saying he thinks things would be easier if guys stuck with guys and girls stuck with girls, noting that he gets along way easier with his male friends and "doesn’t even think about other girls." Kenders clearly wasn't meaning to characterize Knuckles as a closeted gay, but that's how it comes across and it's amazing. Let Knuckles be gay if he wants, man!

Meanwhile, out on the street, Espio and Mighty start challenging Vector's flippant attitude toward women, taunting him that he probably doesn't even have the backbone to ask a girl out on a date right now. Vector, his fragile masculinity sufficiently rattled, stomps away and begins casing out the women in the area in perhaps the most uncomfortably out of character series of panels I've ever seen.

*sigh* Kenders… why in the unholy hell… did you think this was okay? Remember the sweet but clueless Vector in Sonic X who did his utmost to help Vanilla out and give her nice things because he had a crush on her, not caring about how "hot" she was or that she was a single mother with a little kid? Yeah, this isn't him. Ugh.

Julie-Su, meanwhile, has had enough of moping around in her apartment and takes a walk outside, trying to think of ways she can improve herself and become more confident. She happens to pass by a clothing boutique and glance inside, and as she muses to herself that perhaps she needs to stop being so serious all the time and learn to have a little fun - probably a good idea, considering she was part of a technological military group for so long - a passing echidna suggests to her that she go inside and try out the hat she was absentmindedly staring at. She's startled, but allows herself to be led inside by the echidna and an attendant of the store.

I very much disagree that it's "so her" - I feel like Sarah-Connor-style badass tank tops and combat boots are more her aesthetic - but regardless, the echidna encourages her and then invites her out for lunch. Fun to contrast his polite and complimentary approach towards Vector's more misogynistic one, huh? Back in Haven, while Locke is out of the room, Knuckles' musings are interrupted by Archimedes poofing in and immediately noticing his lovesick state. Upon hearing that Locke was rather awkward in trying to explain the source of his feelings, Archimedes offers his own advice for Knuckles' problem which basically boils down to "you'll never know if you don't take the plunge." Knuckles, encouraged, stands up and has Archimedes poof them away, and a second later Locke walks back in, surprised to see the room empty. Back in the streets, Vector is still trying to "score" to prove himself to Espio and Mighty…

That is the most uncomfortably-drawn swan I've ever seen. Like… why in the world does she have boobs? She's a bird! Birds don't need boobs! Argh! Archimedes poofs Knuckles straight into a restaurant, apparently having homed directly in on Julie-Su, because there she is, out to lunch with Raynor the echidna who asked her out, and to Knuckles' shock, she's holding his hand… better make a move fast, man, cause this polite dude is gonna win her over first!

Friend in Need

Writer: Ken Penders Pencils: Manny Galan Colors: Barry Grossman

So I think this is actually the first KtE arc that has a secondary story at the end of each issue - previously, they've all had one story taking up the full span of the pages. This story follows Mighty, in which he is approached by Nicolette the Weasel, who prefers to go by Nic due to her full name "not sounding tough enough for a bounty hunter," and who is Nack's previously-unmentioned sister (and looks exactly like him but with eyelashes and a crop top, because girl). She gives Mighty a red collar, which in shock he realizes used to belong to Ray the Flying Squirrel, whom he used to know. He agrees to come with Nic on her latest treasure hunting venture, providing the brawn she needs in exchange for his chance to look for what happened to Ray. While they're flying to their destination, Mighty becomes lost in memories of how he met Ray, leading to one of the most jarring character revelations next to "Charmy is a prince" - all we've ever known about Mighty up till now is that he has super strength and likes hanging around on the Floating Island, but apparently, six or seven years ago he was captured by Robotnik's forces and taken to a goddamn slave labor camp, where he found himself on a prisoner transport cart along with Ray. Ray had a very bad stutter, most likely due to fear and trauma, but was still kind to those around him, and Mighty began to look after him even though he was shackled due to his strength. But unexpectedly, one of the other prisoners on board this cart was Sonic! Keep in mind, we're talking about a cart full of eight year old children that Robotnik was shipping off. Mighty was skeptical of Sonic's confident attitude, with Sonic claiming that he was there to break everyone out, and that Robotnik didn't suspect him since he was only a child and up until recently adults had been carrying on the fight. However, with recent losses, the Freedom Fighters formed by Sally in the Sonic Kids special started taking up arms against Robotnik as well.

Let that sink in, man. This is why the leading members of the resistance against Robotnik were children and young teens. All the adults were dead or roboticized. Anyone who could have fought was gone. These children had no one else to stand up for their freedom; circumstance forced them to step forward and take the lead instead. Remember what I was talking about a while back, about Sonic having trouble settling down after Robotnik's death and how he was so used to war as essentially a child soldier that even in peacetime he found himself unable to relax? This is the true horror of the war against Robotnik. King Acorn's abrupt disbanding of the Freedom Fighters several issues ago may have seemed dismissive and uncaring, but in the end, his point of view does make sense - he doesn't want literal children robbed of their chance to, well, be children. Just think of how many main characters, and hell, even side characters, thought for so long that they were orphans until their family members started turning up after the war. Think about how many are still orphans for all their know - where are Amadeus and Rosemary Prower? Where's Bunnie's parents? Antoine's mother? Amy's parents? That is what the war against Robotnik cost society. It's actually kind of chilling.

Anyway, Nic wakes Mighty up from his train of thought as they land at the site of the now-deserted labor camp. Mighty is a little jumpy, still reluctant to trust Nic fully, but suddenly an unexpected face makes her appearance…

Fiona? As in, the robot that Tails supposedly fell in love with right before his solo adventure? She's a real person? And Mighty somehow knows her? Oh boy, there's a lot to cover here…

[raguna-blade]

Revolutionary Girl Utena Live(ish) Reaction Episodes 8-11

So it's a new year, and I'm gonna continue this, cause its' fun. Had a brief break cause of the holidays. And doing so, I figure i'm gonna do a thing where I make up a nice cleaned up version of these cause if nothing else I like organizing my thoughts. So Control F or whatever your find function is for the cleaned up version if that's your thing. It'll be under Overall Thoughts per ep. Or you know, you're me and you're going back through this for validation for whatever nonsense you say later.

Episode 8

Curry huh? And another recap? uh....

enmy remains trifling

hey wait egg time already?

Danger? Really?

Body swap? Also egg time is goofs

throwin hands????? anthy?

Yeah nanami it is ridiculous

JERSUS TOGA

nanami you idiot

She just fucked off to india to get some weird back alley spice

Shadow girls can you please, just please for a single episode.

ANTHY YOU LYING. Never been good at sports and you did that leap apparently pretty well? What the fuck.

Also, the switching thing here is mad suspect considering the end theme thing (and I suppose the opening.

Utena as Anthy : I don't want to be a sacrifice of the rose seal.

Anthy As Utena: I'm super down staying like this actually.

Like..This is just details that

Uh..Uh saionji what. The implications are strong here. Also, Douche canoe he is, but he's a romantic apparently? UUUUH. Exchange diary.

Is the “A” plot a distraction? Like for real.

Also she took that elephant to the dome.

I'm not sure how to take this personality switch. Like the minds thing whatever, but if it's just the personalties but not the person so to speak,  hold on

WHAT THE FUCK. These elephants for fucking real?

Anyway, if they're just personalities altering the “person” it's uh...Interesting. I'm not sure how to take that til I get more info. It seems like a thing.

Also, Saionji apparently legit has feels for Anthy he's just...mad dumb about expressing it? Like he's pulling a lot of Badboy Romance Tropes here but...not...in a badboy romance. Which kills his behavior entirely.

Killed his Soul AGAIN. Damn.

Who's the divine justice for? Like it doesn't seem for nanami. Who fucked up. Presumably between anthy and utena.

Anthy what the actual fuck are you doing. Are you using gunpowder?

Homie, this isn't twilight, go home saionji.

Anthy as Utena(????) you trolling. So hard.

Saionji get's zero respect but dudes dedicated I'll give him that. Fitting for bad boy romance lead.

Uh...Wait, actually, are they all romance leads? Common ones in one way or the other. They are on the student Council so...Hm. I don't read enough romance stories of the variety I think but it seems to fit? I'm not sure what juri would be in that case.

Anyway, if this Episode Turns out to be a key for understanding things I'm gonna be pissed. Just a little.

Overall Thoughts: So this and the other “filler” episode is, especially after finishing my last ep in the session, read as anything but despite the obvious uh...antics on display. Like...

Ok, so the whole thing with the ending which frames Anthy and Utena as kinda the same (or rather exactly the same, except one's in red and the other pink) makes this whole episode feel like it's basically some kind of key for understanding everything else because it's simple times. It's goofy hilarity with Nanami that's the A Plot right hahahah....

Except the personality swap between the two of them is like...The implication here is that they swapped minds fully, and given the level of fairy tale bullshit that is at play constantly in this series so far it may well just be magic brand magic and we're supposed to roll with it. Ok. Fair.

Except...The thought that sits in my head is again, Anthy and Utena seem to equal each other. Hell I point it out slightly later that there's definitely this yin yang thing going on in the opening with the two which is so blatant as to be meaningless because Hah Yeah these are our two leads obvs and they're important to each other so hahah don't worry about or think about it check out these SWEET SWORDSMANSHIP MOMENTS FROM EVERYONE LOOK AT THE BUDGET AND COOL HORSES AND CASTLES HAHAHA.

But ok, if it's a Yin Yang thing, yes they're not the same but they have elements of each other within eachother. So if it's just a personality swap but not an actual soul swap thing, that is, Anthy is just acting like Utena's personality is in her, and Utena is just acting like Anthy's personality is in her it paints this picture of Utena and Anthy as having a lot going on under the surface. I mean obviously Anthy is fucking pissed at Saionji. That was really really evident in episode one because if she's just being submissive rosebride I do what i'm told and I do what i'm told I do what i'm told, the very very very sharp dig of “We're Just classmates” is fucking brutal unnecessity. And given that she DOES know what he feels for her, and he's still acting like that, her being vindictive(or just brusque really, he's being an ass full bore) is like...absolutely reasonable.

Her Slapping back and about to throw hands with her tormentors? Who wouldn't want to right?

But then, ok that's Anthy, but what about Utena. If it's just a mind swap, Utena...want's a very defined existence? Like, she wants to just stick to a role? Feels weird, and doesn't quite immediately jive with her cause that seems against her operations right? Except, as this episode so kindly reminds us (for at least the third time in 8 episodes which seems excessive. I might be forgetting one or two) Utena's whole thing coming to this school is I want to play the Role of the Prince, whatever that actually means. Playing the Rose Bride would be no real difference, except it's way more submissive.

So that aside, Saionji saying he's in love with Anthy (and that seems to be something he at least believes to be true. He honestly seems more into Toga. Like for real for real, all the imagery of those flashbacks reads not just as close buddies, but as I am romantically down with you Toga my guy. Him being Bi is probably the easiest answer, and he just drifted away from Toga for a while. Saionji clearly sees him as a friend and rival, although it's seemingly not reciprocated at the moment.

But the thing, the thing that's kinda weird to me, is that if he does legit have feelings for her, I was struck with this odd vibe that he's playing at being a romance lead. Specifically, a Bad Boy romance lead. And doing so SPECTACULARLY badly. Homeboy is sitting here busting out poetry (unless my brain is being a dumb and i'm somehow overlaying him with Tatewaki Kuno from Ranma which ok, weird but alright) but...

Ok, if he is playing at being a Badboy Romance lead, that actually explains his behavior for how he was treating Anthy, especially if he's legit in his feelings for her? Possessive, Radiates Danger, Engages in Creepy Behavior, is a bit of a dick, etc. It lines up with Being a Bad Boy, except that the way that those usually work out in fiction, as I understand it, they're not usually like...gonna hit you. That breaks the fantasy. But...That's him fucking up the archetype. It doesn't fit for him. He doesn't understand what he's doing in that archetype.

Like yes, abusers and the like can care and still be absuers cause fucked up behavior and motivations don't need to match in the least, but it still feels odd that a man who probably literally could have done any number of fucked up things has...an exchange diary with the girl he says he cares about? And it's not like he's unaware of how submissive/passive she is, his exchange diary actually kinda reads like Utena's Anthy is A Real Girl! Activities*. He wants her to be active part of whatever their relationship is and...Eh.

But ok, if he's that, It suggests the rest of the student council, and duelists in general, would fit into a given archetype right? Toga is clearly the super cool intelligent superman student council president, Juri is basically charisma max Jock, Miki is the cute nerd, Nanami is the Ojou villainess type, Utena is...Basically the Hero type, just morals, strains to upset the status quo, Has the Cool Original Uniform.

And they all kinda fit into those pretty thoroughly, kinda like they're trying to (to varying levels of awareness)

Anyway, I'll hit on some of the other stuff in the next Ep. It's a bit more relevant there I think.

*See Me In Episode 11

Episode 9

I just realized they're doing some kinda yinyang thing in the opening so

R V G FIGHT.

Pretty tense there. Toga went straight for the heart which i'm sure means nothing.

Old Friends? Phrasing seems uh...odd? Unsure if it's dub things or actual subtext. Or both.

Dude you really got beef with a monkey? No, utena.

Being a huge dick. As is tradition.

10 Years.

Saionji: Actually love her (said) but

This is mad gay. Like the lighting, the silhouette. Saionji you're sublimating something here.

Music, Silhouettes.

...Silhouettes show truth? uh.

They were Utena's folks funeral? Huh. Also, why on earth would Utena be kidnapped? Who she be?

….Three coffins. Uh. Uhhhhhh. Utena, Toga, Saionji? UuuuHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?

Dead utena. Uh.

Toga: Ally to all women. Ok.

...Why is there a third coffin?

Something Eternal huh? And Utena wants to die for reasons understandable.

Find another coffin. Rose Sigils on the coffins. Uh. Uhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Saionji: Hey, this is nuts, we should stop her.

Toga: Nah, I'm gonna Ennable the shit out of this.

Tiny Utena with the White Rose?

Saionji: Did he do something to her?

Toga: Nope

Uh....

Anthy: Something Eternal in the castle. I want to go there.

Also impressive grip strength considering. Flat.

Does Toga Remember this or...? I can't be sure. Saionji certainly didn't recognize her, but he wasn't like right on top of the trauma child.

Toga white roses? Uh? Uhhhhh. I think he definitely remembers. But questions abound.

Ufo's shadow girls? Shadow girls having flesh is deeply concerning.

TRUE FRIENDS ARE JUST FANTASIES. OK.

And UFO's broke, so that's probably not great. Who's getting the Revelations today.

That is the fakest voice toga what the fuck

Badboy Saionji: We're Gonna get the eternity.

Also, I just realized they (saionji and anthy) have color inversions going on which is making me kinda wonder if they're related in some way?

Just slap the shit out of him that's fair.

Ok, so Saionji didn't(?) do the dumb thing. Ok,

that is...a coffin. That he's 100% obssessed with. With Anthy (Utena) inside.

He's looking like he kissed his own mom right now, goin full oedipus in the holy shit revelations here.

Castle is crumbling, falling down. So...Eternity is Fake. Ok. Sure. Didn't shadow girls say that?

Castle Immediately tried to kill him. Crushed his soul 1 time too many there I suppose.

Utena, meanwhile, dove super deep into saving anthy which...diving deeper into the fantasy?

Yeah, they all just saw things.

Saionji: WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED WHATS GOING ON?

Bro, me too.

Ok, if the two are reflections, does Anthy and saionji both got some deep illusory bullshit going on? Are they both freaking out?

Toga, saving the day, and Saionji, tried to kill Utena with a sword. so. Ok.

Saionji Expelled?  Toga, fool for thinking they're friends?

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE?

Overall Thoughts: I touched on a bunch of the Saionji stuff I wanna talk about in the last episode review, but the thing I kinda want to look at here is well...

Ok, Now the colors probably don't mean anything, but there was this moment that Saionji and Anthy were in the same shot and I suddenly realized they're color flips of each other. Purple hair green eyes, Green Hair Purple eyes, which ok that's interesting.

So we already have Utena Reflecting on Anthy, and hey, there's Zero Reason, absolutely negative number reasons why that wouldn't necessarily be the case with any and all of the rest of the duelists to some degree or another.

And hell, the fact that we keep flipping back and forth between Utena and Anthy in Coffins, there being (for some weird ass reason) a third entirely unrelated coffin for Utena's folks funeral, why the fuck not right?

So ok, Anthy and Saionji mirror each other which...Ok. If the Personality Swap from Episode 8 thing holds, The two actually share some pretty dickish actions. They can be cruel and petty and just antagonistic to things that don't quite jive with what they want. Saionji with Anthy not being...whatever he's expecting out of her, or Utena butting in. Anthy with the girls who keep fucking with her and Saionji.

They both seem to be utterly STUCK on the Rose Bride thing, although from different angles of Possessing the Rosebride and being the Rosebride, and the kind of weird shaping of the Rosebride thing that's going on.

Saionji is treated as a joke by the student council, especially after he get's kicked out, which ultimately ends with him being someone who is generally wanted but ends up ultimately exiled from society. Which mirrors with Anthy as someone is is wanted, but doesn't seem to have ANY kind of actual tangible bonds with anyone.

And, for this last one I have ZERO evidence on the Anthy end, but the suggestions are uh..interesting. Saionji in this episode, as suggested by the shadow girls at least in part, is deeply deeply invested in a fantasy of some kind, one that ultimately leaves him crushed and rather empty, further exiled from people who could or do care for him and that he cares about. Which if we're going with the property sliding across and He's a Foil for Utena (which I think is definitely true in some ways) suggests bad things for her down the line.

Episode 10

Saionji's a joke huh? He's taking it well.

Toga WOW. WOW YOU FUCKING DOUCHE. STRAIGHT IN THE FIRE HUH.

EGG TIME.

So, thing about eggs, that includes whats inside it right? so...Revolutionize yourself right? Right? That's obvious right?

Oh new duelist. Cool cool.

Utena getting slapped. By Nanami. With Utena being hella submissive. (EPISODE 8 FLASHBACKS INTENSIFY)

maybe a girl can't be a prince. THERES THAT THESIS. E8 FLASHBACKS

Nanami got her brother a kitty.

Oh damn it is Nanami. Duel Time. I mean we sall it in the opening but you know.

Jesus Toga, please stop being

OH GOD NANAMI NO. NOOOOOO NOPE NO.

Toga: We ain't kids no more. Shit don't fly.

Nanami: Emotionally devastated.

Is that Miki's sister?

Hey, what happened to the cat?

Juri: Hey, Serious Business, what the fucks up with the duelist?

Toga is perpatrating as badly as nanami actually. He's just less immediately obvious about it I guess.

Goddamnit there's Anthy's next slap. Jesus. Legit, who hasn't at this point. Is this a theme? IS THIS A THING?

Jesus, he's just playing all of this to piss her off? What the fucks up.

...Did nanami kill the cat. Uh...Uhhhhhh.

Ring is an engagement ring. Wait, that's a flat out school rule that everyone knows? For real? Uh.

...What the fuck happened with the kitty. Uh...

ITS TIME. ABSOLUTE DESTINYYYYYYYYYYYY

I just realized the kinda weird framing with Anthy dressing up utena kinda looks like her opening her legs up with the way it get's framed and I'm not sure if that's me just kinda over reading things or if that's a thing.

Nanami's duel outfit is SICK. Also, a yellow alt color of utena.

Actually. ACTUALLY? Is...Is Nanami like an Utena Alt color? That can't be right. Actually looking at  them right next to each other they're...straight up alt colors of each other. Not to mention Nanami's my prince thing mirrors Utena.

She just HOT pulled a knife. Oh she's About to fucking hot MERC utena, going for death jessus.

They're supposed to be around the same age too for that matter right?

She absolutely killed that cat and it's...

With her hair down she does look like an utena alt color even more.

Why's the duel music still going after the duel finished. Jesus. This wasn't a duel with Nanami, it was a duel with Toga, and I think Utena Hot lost it out and out.

Overall Thoughts: Well the Big thing I'm paying attention here are two. First the simpler one.

The Egg has to break the shell of the world to be born right? I'm paraphrasing badly, but the thing is the way they keep phrasing that is that the World is the Egg, but the egg isn't just the shell right? It includes what's inside of it. Which if that's the case, mixed with the way that duels work out being more a clash of ideals than of actual tangible skill, the revolutionize the world bit seems to be referring to them themselves, that is the duelists.

Alternatively, the Bird Referenced, the thing being revolutionized is Anthy. Which...Is an interesting line of thought. Given the Duels as a whole are basically choosing who her fiance will be, that'd imply that ultimately this decides the way that Anthy would come to develop? Or how she chooses to develop? Which ok if so, and the way that Ideals seem to be at play, Suggests...What? Dunno. Need more info, which will be delivered later.

But the other thing here, continuing the mirroring thing, which might be me reading too deeply, but I think not and even if it is Whatever I'm having fun.

THE ENTIRE NANAMI DUEL felt like a Mirror Match.Heck, Nanami dressed like an alt color of Utena, and especially once her hair got undone she looked even more like an alt color of Utena. They're only about a year different in age, and her brother seems to be her Prince type, and he drops the ring on her like an engagement ring, and she basically says I fight like my brother because he's my ideal.

Which is a weird thing since right now it's not going...too far. I'll have to see how it shakes out, but if the mirroring thing continues, the fact that the moment she lost she basically said nope fuck that, Knife Time, was...Concerning. It says real concerning things with Utena.

But it also says other interesting things then, because if Nanami is supposed to be some kind of Alt color Utena, similar in ambition goals and the like, if more outwardly girly to Utena's princey thing, their relationship with Anthy is uh..

Uh...

Well put simply, Utena is fucking up big and dramatic with Anthy, and she doesn't realize it at all or care because she can't see it for what it is. Nanami actively tries to undermine Anthy, and does some fucked up things to her. Which..Makes me wonder about the Divine Judgement thing from Episode 8 which, damnably, seems to be forming some kind of key here.

Like the way it's frame suggests the divine Judgement being visited upon Nanami is what's being talked about. But ok, Nanami had some bad shit happen to her sure, but...All of that was self inflicted upon her trying to fix what she percieves as a problem. Yes her reasons for doing it are so she can be with her brother, no doubt, but...They're ridiculous. Like, I cannot believe this shit is happening. But

But

If the Target of Divine Judgement/punishment is the Anthy Utena duo, one or both of them are on the receiving end of it. It's not clear how Acting like Utena would be a punishment for Anthy (I'm sticking with it just being a personality swap and not a full mind swap) but Utena who prides herself on being princely and aspires to that being the super submissive rosebride? I could see that being a kind of hell for her. And if the logic of Utena is Undermining Anthy holds out, but the criitcal difference being her ignorance and dishonesty of why compared to Nanami unabashedly saying yes I am fucking doing this fuck you I get what I want no hold barred, it...

Like, Nanami, as far as it goes, doesn't really receive a punishment if we're being honest. Yes she takes a couple of elephants to the dome, and has to be away from her brother and see her thing fail but..The way it's treated by herself and everyone else is basically a LOL THESE THINGS HAPPEN I GUESS HAHAHA. The Utena/Anthy swap meanwhile seems considerably more serious for them (especially considering the Everyone Slaps Anthy thing that seems to legit be a thing. Somehow. Except here Applied to “Utena”), and seems to cause some serious distress.

We'll see I guess.

Episode 11

As I watch this opening more and more, why is anthy like constantly framed like...Ominous as shit? Is it me?

Homegirl is just. Damn. Sure glad NOTHING BAD WILL HAPPEN (I do not trust this series to not have something bad happen to Wakaba. Again.)

Anthy. Are..are you...passive aggressively doing...something

Toga: I can see through the illusions yeah boi.

I do not trust this for an inch. He is abusing the shit out of his framing, like the whole time, and I don't trust.

Toga is “student council prince” archetype. Miki's nerdy student counciler.

EGG TIME

Juri is...Antagonistic But well meaning?

Saionji...I'm not sure he was actually on the stuco. But if so, bad boy.

What....is with the balloons. The color coded balloons.

Miki: Like a Pet Cat.

The Pet Cat that died, got killed.

WHAT IS WITH THESE BALLOONS.

ALSO I SEENT YOU PURPLE BALLOON.

So if the duels are ideal clashes more than actually a matter of direct skill, is this Toga (touga?) trying to fuck with Utena before the fight?

Anthy is a Bird. Ok. And Toga, arguably, being the biggest dick here. We thought it was Saionji, but the trick was he's the red part of the rose.

Anthy shut down REAL quick when being the rose bride was brought up.

Is Utena projecting mad hard onto Anthy here?

Homeboy needs to stop playing these games.

Utena, Stahp.  DO NOT TRUST HIM.

Toga, You...DOUCHE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH

Toga: Oh My B, Shouldn't act that way in front of the rose bride. ALSO DUELING LETS GOOOOO.

Utena: one link forces me to fight him. Meanwhile, rose symbols everywhere, a lot of them brought in by anthy.

Hmmmmmmm.

Utena is hard not understanding something here. I don't know what (rose bride related for sure) but I don't get...WHAT is off here.

Cause thinking about it, Utena's objective with Anthy is arguably the most noble, but she's still not quite treating anthy as a person.

….William Tell Interlude is SUITABLY CONCERNING considering the above thoughts so uh.

Also that was a weirdly specific number. 30K arrows or something?

I just realized that the DARKNESS OF DARKNESS OF LIGHT OF DESTINY OF (INSERT) things seems to show up right around anthy a lot. I'm not super sure if that's a whole thing or just a this episode thing, but...

Is Utena about to get HOT DUNKED? Because I think she is.

Also, I just realized, Utena slid into that pull sword out of rose bride thing right quick and she's never once questioned that.

So yes, Utena has BOOTY but cheeks swordsmanship, which yeah, obvs. Two of the people she beat were actually skilled before this fight, and yet she won somehow.

I don't know how to deal with these lyrics. But Toga is absolutely  fucking with her head here.

And She Lost. Decisively. YUP. WELP THIS IS GONNA BE A THING NEXT TIME.

Toga: Hey you don't have to deal with this bullshit anymore.

Utena is doing the EXACT same shit Miki and Saionji were pulling, and Anthy's blank soulless stare is freaking me the hell out. Again.

So, ideals here. But the idea that whoever has a...better grasp of the truth is the victor. Which makes sense that Toga wins here.

Jesus, Soul crush 2.0, except it's on Utena this time. Goddamn.

WELL NEXT EPISODE PROMISES TO BE FUN.

Utena: ITS NOT TRUE. ITS NOT TRUE!

The Anime Revolutionary Girl Utena IMMEDIATELY: MISSING TRUTH ETCETC HOLD ME IN YOUR TRUE ARMS I WANT TO KEEP SMASHING LIES APART

SURE THAT MEANS NOTHING GUYS GGNORE.

Also, no joke, these seem like a Direct response to this episode and I'm not sure how to feel about that.

I want to be hated by lies? Uhhhhh.

Overall Thoughts: So Hey, Here we are in Episode 11 and I want to talk about how Utena and Saionji basically are each other right here.

Like overtly even I think, even if the actions aren't precise clean mirrors to each other which I guess is just how i'm going to be going through this series right now RiP.

But ok, here's the thing. What has been increasingly clear as time goes by is that Utena is fundamentally misunderstanding something about Anthy. I'm not sure fully what it is, but it's clearly Rosebride related, and the thing with the clashing ideals suggests that the.

Actually let me explain that clear like. Right now my read on the Duels is that they are NOT in any way shape or form a demonstration of skill. I Think that's clear through this point, but I'm making it explicit for my own sake. The Victor of the Duel isn't the better fighter. If that were the case, It'd suggest the only ones in the running at all would be Toga or Saionji (Juri should also be in here, but I'm not actually clear how skilled she is compared to those two, and the way they're treated suggests that Toga and Saionji are comparable in pure skill/ability.)

But Utena somehow beat Saionji like three times, Juri and Miki. Miki's whatever, but Juri clearly knows what she's doing, and Saionji seems to be Kendo Team captain so you know. Up there. Meanwhile, Utena explicitly is an amateur.

I'm not saying, in full, that actual skill with the blade is a null thing, but your ideals seems to be the biggest factor over everything else. Presumably, people rocking equally “powerful” ideals would fall to skill with the sword.

Anyway. The Truths that Seem to be critical are Anthy Wants to Be Free of the Rosebride. Ok, so Utena has the right read then right? But then she lost to Toga who seems to be rocking Anthy Wants to Be, or else Considers herself fundamentally to be, the Rosebride, which is something that Utena seems to be denying about Anthy, but is none the less true.

But then, How are Utena and Saionji the same? Well, remember an episode back where I was talking about the divine punishment thing and all that jazz from episode 8?

It hits both of them for mistreating the Rosebride. There is a fantasy going on between Utena and Saionji, and while Saionji's is a bit complicated and unclear I think, Utena's actually is pretty straightforward I think. Utena want's to be a prince. That's her fantasy. The general virtues she want's to possess are great. Good even. But the specific's seems to involve a kind of rides in and saves the day riding in on a white horse thing, where she's the hero and does for some poor unfortunate girl what her prince did to her.

Saionji's meanwhile, seems to be something of him having a genuine reciprocal relationship with Anthy, with him inhabiting the role of a badboy romantic lead while the two of them have feelings for each other. When, really, he doesn't seem to care for her, or at least the feelings that he has for her are considerably weaker than whatever awkward feelings he has going on for Toga (I'm seriously a little fuzzy here, cause it feels like following his most recent defeat he's rocking some kind of clarity? I don't know how it's gonna work out, but I could sorta see him Returning and upsetting whatever the then status quo is.)

But notably, the big thing between them is their staunch refusal to accept what seems to be really true about their relationship with Anthy.

That the end theme seems to immediately pop up as an answer to Utena's reaction feels...Purposeful.

[daggerandrose]

Happy New Year! Besides supernatural aus, ABO au is my absolute favorite type of fic to read. From scenting to nesting, I just love it and lowkey wish that it was a real thing. Here’s a list of ABO aus that are alpha harry/omega louis bc that seems to be the one I gravitate towards most. I do have a list that are alpha louis/omega harry and I’ll definitely do a fic rec list at some point. If you have any fic recs please send them my way as I love reading fics!

As always, please leave a comment and kudos for the authors!

PS. I have more AH/OL fics to rec but I didn’t want this to be super long lol

Anybody Have a Map?, 13k, by @2tiedships2

Niall rolled his eyes, “You two are weird. Fine. Me and Liam will go by ourselves. Party poopers.”

Niall got up to get ready but first turned to Louis and asked, “Lou are you still kicking me out next week? I’ll see if I can make plans with Liam.”

Louis cringed. Because of course Niall would say something in front of Harry.

“Yeah,” Louis stated. “That’s still the plan. Now run along my little Irish idiot.”

Niall skipped the ten feet to his bedroom to get ready. Louis steeled himself for Harry’s inquiry.

“What’s next week, Lou?” Harry looked down at him with a confused look in his eyes.

Or the one where Louis met Harry in NYC where they bonded as fellow Brits in the large city. Years later, with Louis' upcoming heat, maybe it's time for their friendship to become something more.

I Know How To Whisk (But Teach Me Anyway), 32k, by 2tiedships2

Louis scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. “I don’t understand. Unmated alphas don’t just go into a rut out of nowhere. Unless…”

Louis grabbed onto Niall’s arm in desperation. “Am I a homewrecker? Does Harry have a mate? Oh my God, was he not flirting? Did the change in his scent not have anything to do with my smell yesterday? Did I just make that up!?”

Louis let go of Niall and dropped his face in his hands. “I knew it was too good to be true.”

“You’re an idiot,” Niall stated. Louis looked up to find Niall rolling his eyes. He snapped his laptop closed and moved to stand up. “I need to get some work done. Why don’t you stay here and think back to ABO dynamics 101.”

With that Niall hopped off the couch and headed to his room. He stopped and turned to Louis before he made it to the hall and said, “Oh, and Lou. You may want to reconsider your outlook on soulmates.”

Louis yelled after him. “Soulmates aren’t a thing, Niall!”

Or the one in which banana bread just might make Louis change his mind about soulmates.

Your Touch Is The Only Thing I Feel, 15k, by 2tiedships2

Liam. Liam was finally here. Louis kept his eyes closed and cuddled farther into Liam’s side, revelling in the pheromones Louis’ body desperately needed. He wasn’t sure how long Liam had been holding him, but Louis figured it had to have been at least an hour by the way his body had loosened. The need of an alpha’s touch seemed to have been temporarily lifted from his mind.

Louis listened to the sounds of the pub around him. It was louder than before he had fallen asleep and he briefly wondered why Liam hadn’t just woken him to go back to their flat.

“Who the fuck are you?”

Louis’ eyes flew open at the sound of Niall’s voice, and the arm that had been around Louis shoulders lifted in the same instant. He missed the warmth immediately.

Louis looked from Niall’s stormy face over to the person who was definitely not Liam. The alpha Liam impersonator, who smelled a lot better than the actual Liam now that Louis was alert, looked back at Louis with wide eyes and familiar furrowed brows.

Or the one where Louis refuses to settle for just any alpha despite intense touch deprivation. Fortunately Harry isn't just any alpha.

Holiday Greetings (And Gay Happy Meetings), 18k, by 2tiedships2

"Onwards to drop me off at Robert's before you go to Harry's!" Louis proclaimed when they were safely in the car. Or at least Louis was safely in. Niall was still brushing the snow out of his hair that Louis had accidentally dropped on him.

"We're picking up biscuits first," Niall grumbled as the snow melted into his hair. "You can wait in the car."

After three times of the car sounding like it was dying a slow and tragic death, it finally decided to start.

"This is what happens when you try to change the name of your car after five years," Louis said as a reminder of Niall's stupidity. "You'd be upset too if you were a car named Greased Lightning with a passenger trying to get it renamed to Dusty."

"To be fair," Niall explained, "the name Dusty does seem a bit more accurate."

"Make sure to leave the car running while you're getting whatever you're getting from Harry," Louis said in disgust. "This car is going to choke for good after that comment and I don't want to be stuck at Harry's place when that happens."

Or the one where Niall's dead car and and a foot of snow conspire to force Louis into spending time with an alpha he hates.... or does he?

I Wanna Be More Than Friends, 20k, 2tiedships2

He hadn't meant to scent Harry. They were best friends and that was it. Scenting best friends wasn't exactly socially acceptable.

"Lou," Harry whispered.

Louis jumped at his name and sat up straighter to provide a bit of distance between himself and Harry.

"You can't scent me, Lou," Harry stated.

Which of course Louis couldn't scent him. They were best friends.

"I mean," Harry continued. "I wouldn't mind exactly, but if I can't scent you, I don't think you should scent me."

"What do you mean you can't scent me? I mean, I get it because we're best friends but..."

"I mean I can't smell you, Louis. I fucking can't smell you. I can't smell anything, okay?"

Or the one where Harry’s an alpha with no sense of smell, Louis’ an omega who isn’t allowed to scent his best friend, and that’s all they’ll ever be. Obviously.

If I Loved You Less, 36k, by @allwaswell16

Beautiful omega Louis Tomlinson is set to make his come out in London society and determined to find a mate in his first Season. With the help and protection of his oldest friend, Lord Niall Mendes, he takes Society by storm.

Being a wealthy and titled alpha means Lord Harry Styles has grown used to avoiding unmated omegas...until now. This Season he finds himself at every Society event just for a chance to speak with the omega with the flashing blue eyes.

Louis has the aristocracy at his feet and all the suitors he could hope for, but his secrets may ruin his chance at a love match.

Love is like this; not a heartbeat but a moan, 13k, by @angelichl

"He hates this, more than anything in the world he hates this. His title, his rank, his DNA. Unchangeable. Fated.

And then there’s Harry, born to be unobjectively superior to Louis and all other O’s. Unlike other A’s, Harry doesn’t wear his alpha-ness very well. He’s clumsy with it, like walking around in a pair of shoes a size too big. His life is defined by uncertainty and tentativeness, and those are definitely not qualities alphas should have.

Sometimes, when Louis ponders it for too long, he thinks that maybe Harry resents being an A just as much as Louis resents being an O."

In which Harry loves Louis, but Louis has been cold to him ever since he presented as an omega at age fifteen. Eight years later, Louis approaches Harry with a request, and who is Harry to deny him?

and forever is like this; endless, but definite, 11k, by angelichl

in which Louis and Harry figure things out.

My Star In the Sky, 23k, by angelichl

Louis and Harry have been best friends since they were kids, despite the fact that society and biology say they should be something more. Everything changes when Louis mistakenly returns to their flat during Harry's rut.

Let Me Feel Your Heartbeat, 34k, by angelichl

Harry is 98% sure Louis hates him. So he feels like his bewilderment is justified when the omega offers to help him through his rut.

I want you so much (but I hate your guts), 83k, by @obviouslybecauselarry

AU in which Louis gets accepted to play for the Manchester University Alpha-Beta Football Team. The only problem: Louis is actually an Omega. He is determined to make it big in the football world, though, and he can't do that bound to an Omega team. With the help of a faked doctor's certificate and some pretty strong suppressants he is ready to fight for his dream.

That Harry Styles (Alpha, second year and youngest football captain of the A-B team in ages) doesn't seem to like him complicates matters, though.

Pray for some sweet simplicity, 237k, by @emperorstyles

Louis is the only omega to ever make it in the cut-throat world of competitive motorcycle racing—that is, he would be if anyone actually knew about his identity. Now, his sights are set towards competing in—and winning—the European Grand Prix, the biggest and most difficult race of the entire year, so he can disappear underground for good. He’s close enough, too, until an alpha sports journalist is assigned to follow Louis’s every move as he prepares for the event of his career.

Or, an AU where motorcycle racing is the biggest sport in a heavily divided world, Louis is trying to take control of his own destiny, and Harry is in for more than he bargained for

Baby Honey, 14k, by emperorstyles

When the next great war strikes, all alphas have to ship out. Alex leaves a little more behind than some of the others.

Where You Lay, 86k, by @ham-palpert

When Louis's upcoming heat threatens his success at his new dream job, he asks the best (and only) person he can think of to help him through it: his best mates' best mate, Harry Styles. Harry reluctantly accepts, and together the two navigate a strange friends with benefits relationship that quickly turns complicated.

[dyingunknown-blog]

BEGINNINGS + GENDER

As said in the introduction: this is a selfish blog where I rant about myself and my feelings. Here goes my first ramble. Within this ramble contains bits of: gender, femininity,  sexuality and eating disorders. Y’know, the usual mix of edgy Tumblr content. I am posting this in celebration of Pride Month (!!! YAY!!! I HONESTLY LOVE PRIDE MONTH) but also because I’ve had this build up in my heart for too long. 

A NOTE BEFORE I BEGIN...

I know you (reader) cannot hear me doing this, so imagine me (author) taking a deep breath, filling my semi spacious lungs, and releasing all that pent up air with a heavy sigh. 

Here we fucking go. Here’s to tip of the iceberg, from 4 years of pent up gay shit to recent moments of gentle gender dysmorphia. Do not expect my writing to be fully coherent, nor written in the best grammar. I am writing for my own therapeutic needs, because I gotta get some of this energy released and I have nowhere else to dump this. This piece is a full on rant, as in I literally wrote this angrily tapping away at 2-4 am. However, I’d like to mention that I mean no offence to any parties, and simply want to vent out some of the deep thoughts I’ve been pacing around for the past few years. Feel free to send me a message regarding your personal feelings, or to just chat. I’m always here as a friend and listener <3 

WHERE IT ALL BEGAN...

I think I owe myself and you (reader) an explanation on where things began to really start. The main “spark” that got me going and prompted me to start this blog was when I found myself unable to stop playing songs by Dorian Electra. Actually-- to be honest-- it was the music videos that really got me going. The glorious explosion of just “QUEER” screaming and banging its head at my 13 inch Mac Book Pro got me extremely inspired to actually do something about the gross reactions of confusion that were occurring in my brain and body. As Dorian Electra put it, “You know I’m not straight, but I’m gonna give it straight to you.” So here’s my best shot at “giving it straight.” 

By the way... I’m from a fairly traditional family with high hopes for me, so the most freedom I can really grasp onto is starting an anonymous Tumblr blog at 2 am laying naked with just my underwear on. 

PERSONAL TOPIC 1: GENDER...

So here’s the thing, I stick to my biological birth gender like it’s my lifeline-- my comfort zone-- I guess, if anything. I personally feel like gender and sexuality have their own little symbiotic (or perhaps parasitic???) relationship, where one’s gender impacts their sexuality-- but I can also accept that my understanding is probably not politically correct. I can say, however, with a heavy heart: 

I am utterly fucked when I think about my gender and sexuality. 

I’ll take it easy first and rope down my feelings towards my gender and its definition. I jokingly scream in the halls that gender is a social construct, but let’s be honest-- is it not?  Other than our dongle-longs and hoochie-has, what makes a woman different from a man? I mean maybe it is just the sausage and the grapefruit, but I’d like to argue that... Just kidding, the more I think about it the more I fall into a rabbit hole where I can’t figure out what a male is and what a female is. I mean what are they? Is it based off of the definition I provide for myself, or what society conveniently slams into my face? Is the LGBTQ+ community the people who get to decide or is it the Westboro Baptist Church??? 

Note: these are not a rhetorical question, please answer this to your opinion because I’m in desperate need of some kind of direction beyond biology. I accept all ideologies and concepts. I’m just hella confused. 

Ehem.

Anyways, my own battle with gender goes beyond not knowing where the “line” is, or if it even exists (again, I’m still not sure if this is a personal question or something based on society...) It also goes into where I stand on this polarised scale. See-- I have a bean, a hole, and melons. Alas, in slightly more proper terms, I have a clitoris, vagina and breasts. So what does that mean for me? Am I automatically a woman? For the first 17 years of my life, I would respond to that question with a VERY confident nod. Pink was once my favourite colour, I like boys, dresses, cute animals and romcoms. My physical body only went to assure what I already knew. Now? I’m not so sure. As it is more acceptable nowadays to be “queer,” I’ve slid into the an identity crisis where I realise I’ve never revelled in the fact that I had tiddies, nor felt comfortable about having a coochie. I used to blame my confusion regarding my comfort in my biological gender on the growing queer influences in my life-- after all, everyone wants to be special and sometimes being apart of the LGBTQ+ community is the best way to stand out, especially when it’s being shoved in your face with media. Everyone who comes out of the closet is faced with incredible amounts of love and attention, and my younger self thought “maybe I should get on the boat” hence, labelling myself as bisexual for the longest time without truly feeling like I am (until in recent years.)  I blamed my confusion in identity and sexuality on the attention whore who lived inside of my heart. My feelings were only justified as true this year, when I found myself staring at myself in the mirror and couldn’t help but to feel unhappy with what I presented myself with. Undies clad with a slightly cropped black muscle tank, I could see the linings of a “V” line on my lower abdomen and felt kinda hot about it. I did the annoying fuckboy pose (you know, the one where the guy is biting his shirt to reveal his oh-so-humble six pack) and found it... kinda fun? I did have a 36D underboob flail around, but my focus was more on my bottom half, with my Victoria Secret blue lace underwear and masculine illusion.  It wasn’t like a grand glorious moment, nor was it like I was the tomboy of the house and everyone just “knew” and I only had to convince myself. Instead, it was an anti-climatic moment where I realised “fuck, I have another problem on my hands that I can’t ignore anymore.” 

I don’t know if I truly identify as female or male. Honestly, I don’t really think I need to identify myself, but that’s the 30% of my consciousness who is super queer, chill and cool. See, the other 70% of my mind is going in a frenzy screaming, because I just lost one of my key defining attributes. Think that episode of Spongebob, where Spongebob’s brain cells are screaming and throwing papers around the office setting of his brain.

Another question has also become increasingly relevant in my journey of finding my “true inner zen self.” 

Who am I choosing my gender for?

In 2018, and most of the years before, I adored being loved by boys and having guys waggle their dicks like dog tails for my tits and ass, but in 2019, I randomly figured out that I never liked my boobs for anything but that. I mean having an hourglass figure was always (and still is) a goal of mine, but I question for what reason. I’d like to say it’s for personal aesthetic appeal, but it wouldn’t be surprising to me if I just do it so people will like me more. In fact, I battled with bulimia for the very reason of: I don’t know what the fuck I want or like, but  the crowd likes “skinny thick” girls so lets do that by purging. Am I currently wearing a waist trainer and corset on top of each other because I like the outcome, or because the people around me like me more for it? I’m trying really hard not to segue into the alluring topic of toxic femininity, because I can rant for HOURS AND PAGES about that, so I’ll just say: I don’t know if I’m being a girl for myself or because I’ll be more liked for it. 

In all honesty, the truth regarding my gender became clearer the more I self conscious I became. In 2018, I fell into the trap of sending boys nudes (apologies for the TMI and sorry family if you somehow came across my blog and are currently reading this.)  I liked it for a millisecond. Why? Because it felt good to have someone desperate for me. That millisecond died off real fast. My own thoughts pooped my nude Alpha Female party with insecurity and fear of how my body compares to other girls my age. Three days after the first nude I sent I realised I hate my body. I felt empowered in the moment (honestly I do love the feeling of tease. I still do send ohohoho raunchy pics for the pure euphoria of just having someone crave me) but overall just left the experience with lingering guilt and self hatred. I wasn’t sure if I was doing this to please myself or others. I also abhor taking nudes, because I do not think I embody femininity and dislike my body for that very reason. Identifying as male makes me far more comfortable than as identifying as a female. I might have tits, I might have soft facial features, but I just don’t like how I mentally feel like I can’t compare to the unrealistic standard of femininity that women uphold. I spent my whole life trying to  tick the boxes under “female,” but always felt like I was just doing the bare minimum... Hence my past is full of desperation, the need to show skin for the sake of proving I’m “sexy” and being perfectly fine with getting mislabeled as a slut at school. Nowadays, I show skin because I’m comfortable and am learning to love my body. I am not okay with slut shaming in general, but I am most definitely not okay with being called a slut either because I’m still a fucking virgin. So hun, I really do wish I could call myself a slut and have that much game, but I’m very far from that.

Anyways, uh more on my gender crisis:  I’ve also always adored mens fashion and absolutely revel the aura of being the “alpha.” Ever since my middle school days, I’d secretly snoop around and envy the men’s section of Barney’s and Saks, because it just looks so damn cool. Excuse my lack of “high quality language,” I can hear my English teacher sighing about my lack of “professional” or “appropriate” language, but I really can’t express my feelings regarding mens fashion other than it’s fucking cool. I must say though, my style of clothing and expression of self doesn’t stop itself at mens fashion. In fact, I enjoy dressing to exhort a more dominant presence, whether it’s with a short denim skirt and tight crop top or a loose fitting silk blouse and skinny jeans with a belt. So I guess in a way, my fashion and what I feel comfortable in explains my gender for me. A little bit of both and a little bit of neither. Although the next step would definitely be playing around with my hair and piercing, but I think my traditional family would whoop my ass to the moon if I do it now, and I can’t say I’m not scared of regrets. I just want to discover myself a little more this year...

Regardless, I just wanna further clarify that I don’t feel comfortable being put as female, male or hell-- even androgynous.

And I gotta say, after holding this in and denying it for 4 years, it feels damn good to type it out and admit it.

 In deciding to be a “gender”, there are standards. Deciding to be anything comes with the price of standards. I just can’t personally handle not being able to fit into the standards there are for them... Especially now since people are so bothered on being politically correct, so if I’m “not being properly androgynous” or “not properly female,” I’ll get shit on, and if I’m not accepted by the mass majority, I’ll feel societal hate mixed with self hatred. 

I also want to say that sometimes I don’t feel like I have the right to be confused or declare a gender because I’ve been on the judgemental side before. 

In middle school one of my close friends moved away, and soon later began to label themselves as gender fluid. It was such a new concept that I initially thought that they were doing it as a publicity stunt, but slowly realised that it is indeed who they are. I wasn’t hateful, but I can’t say I’m innocent, even if it was when I was far younger and less understanding. I remember when they first started using their current pronouns, I was confused on how to utilise them and initially disregarded them. Today, I regret my ignorance. Misgendering can always be a mistake, but it can also be extremely spoiled, belittling and condescending. So even though I know someone that probably went through a similar journey as I am today, I feel guilty asking them about it because of the shit I gave them when I was 14.

 Additionally, I’m scared of being wrong about myself. I can’t describe it too well, but I’m just scared that I’ll slip up a wrong opinion and then be automatically thrown into the can of “special snowflake wannabe LGBTQ+” when in reality: I truly feel like I’m not of “cisgender” or anything normal. I don’t want to dip too deep into my history with crippling anxiety and experiences with depression, but I will say that I can’t help but to hate myself for being queer too.. Alas, I’ll have to learn how to get over that and continue loving myself, but what the hell am I going to do now? 2k words later and things aren’t exactly clearer, but I can (somewhat) confidently say that I know what I’ll do (for now.) 

As of today, June 17, 2019, I have decided to not give a fuck and to simply just identify with the LGBTQ+ community. I don’t feel comfortable identifying as male, female, neither, both, gender fluid, or anything else. I will simply put off gender and let people call me by whatever pronoun they want.

I just wanna be me. 

Until I find out something else, or become more comfortable with myself, or gather the confidence to “come out of the closet” and stop being so selfish and finally decide what the hell I am, it’ll probably just be like this for awhile.

And honestly? I think I’m okay with that.

[sazandorable]

A compilation and comparison of Ghetsis’ USUM lines about Giovanni in ENG, JPN, and FR

awright so I was actually started on this over on twitter and actively encouraged, so now you get... this (harharhar). It’s long and rambly, sorry!

For clarity’s sake, let’s start with the official ENG localization. I’m linking random LP videos each time for convenience, but there are lots of others to find.

ENGLISH:

"In order to achieve this beautiful ideal, however, I have need of a useful pawn... And that man, the leader of Team Rocket, is a man of pure evil! If I can make good use of him, and set him up as a king, I shall be able to reign supreme above all existence!"

"I have found that humans, with their predictable ambitions, are easier to use and control than a freak without a human heart."

"It wouldn't do at all to have you get in his way, especially when I must establish him as my king!"

(text c/p’d from bulbapedia (bolding mine). conversely, please have a look — i don’t even mean read, just. look. — at the entirety of ghetsis’s USUM dialogue on bulbapedia:

look at all this bold. i love his freakout trips so much.)

So to recap:

- pawn

- man of pure evil

- useful, make good use

- set up as (my) king

- human

- predictable, easy to use and control

- don’t get in his way (doesn’t comply with my plans!)

Now for the original

JAPANESE:

この野望を叶えるには操り人形が必要です 純粋な悪の思想を持つロケット団のボス… あの男…王としてうまく扱えば ワタクシはあらゆる存在の頂点に立てるのです！ 目的がわかりやすい人間は人の心を持たぬ化け物よりはるかに制御しやすいのです！ いいですか？ワタクシの王として彼を利用するためじゃまをされてはこまるのですよ！

(partly c/p’d from this blessing of a page which is basically the monolingual equivalent of this post, I’m laughing so much, same, bro, same)

I’m... Ok, I linked a video where the player reads the text aloud, but I’m still also going to transliterate this so you can “hear” it in your heads because. I really need you all to take notice of the sheer amount of “のです” in this extract. 3 out of 4 lines end with “no desu”. This is how Ghetsis speaks all the time. English localization did its best but still mostly lost this IMO: there’s two ways to read the formal, polite way JPN!Ghetsis speaks. One is the calmly threatening, quietly scary way in which the player acts out his lines in the video. The other way, the way I personally cannot stop hearing him, is like an affable, cutesy and harmless grandmother. Like a moe schoolgirl, even. Ghetsis once referred to himself & Team Plasma as being all “nakama” in canon. (EDIT: i actually remembered that bit as being worded “nakama na no desu” but alas, not quite.)

I just really need people to know this, okay.

Now that I’ve made this clear, as-literal-and-close-as-possible-and-thus-very-wonky-sounding translation by yours truly:

kono yabou wo kanaeru ni wa, ayatsuriningyou ga hitsuyou desu

“To fulfill this ambition, I need a puppet.”

Although “pawn” is a perfectly good translation choice (and adds a very appropriate chess theme), I also really want to let it be known that the original was “a puppet” (操り人形 ayatsuri ningyou). The kind with strings. (操る ayatsuru means “to pull strings” or “to manipulate”, in the literal sense.) Such a wonderfully creepy image too <3

junsui na aku no shisou wo motsu ROCKETTO-dan no BOSU... ano otoko... ou toshite umaku atsukaeba, watakushi ha arayuru sonzai no chouten ni tateru no desu!

“The boss of Team Rocket, of purely evil thought/idea/ideology... that man... if I can successfully treat him as a king / if I can make good use of him as a king, I will be able to stand at the summit of all of existence!”

The ENG used two verbs constructions here, but it's a single word. I am not savvy enough in Japanese to be able to tell if one or both nuances is stronger than the other here. But I do know that the verb (扱う atsukau) has the two meanings (“handle/operate” and “treat as”). And the ENG localization did keep “make use of”, too, despite the として structure being generally translated with “treat as”. I'm just saying, interesting double meaning within a single word here. V nice.

mokuteki ga wakariyasui ningen ha, hito no kokoro wo motanu bakemono yori haruka ni seigyoshiyasui no desu!

“A human with easy-to-know/understand objectives/motivations is far easier to control/keep in check than a monster without a person’s heart!”

... Okay usually I would have gone with “without a human heart”, like the localization always does, but the thing is he actually says “人間 ningen” (human) in the part about Giovanni. But not for N. In his usual pet name for N, he just uses “人 hito” (person). So. As evil as Giovanni is, Ghetsis still considers him human, unlike N (and N doesn’t get to be a person either). As lovely a dad as ever, huh. (Not about Giovanni but also noteworthy: the “freak” in the recurrent pet name is originally “monster” (化け物 bakemono). As far as I can tell, it’s always the exact same wording in JPN too.)

Technically this sentence could also be set in plural (no grammar cue at all), but since he’s clearly referring to N in the second half, I went with singular both times. In truth, he could be referring to humans in general (like what the localization went with), or simply to Giovanni specifically.

ii desu ka? watakushi no ou toshite kare wo riyousuru tame jama wo sarete ha komaru no desu yo!

“What about this? In order for me to make use of him as my king, allowing you to interfere would be troublesome!”

I ALSO JUST REALLY NEEDED EVERYONE TO KNOW THAT HE SAYS “II DESU KA?” HERE AND IT’S SO HARD TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO CONVEY THAT ACCURATELY. IT’S NOT QUITE “WHAT ABOUT IT”. IT’S BASICALLY. ASKING FOR YOUR PERMISSION. LIKE “MAY I?”. Except of course he’s not asking for your permission, it’s also like... “So, you see?” But basically. Basically he’s not just threatening you or explaining to you why he’s gonna beat you up, he’s like “See what I’m about? So, can’t you be a good kid and let me do this puh-leaaase? :)”

And the word choice in the rest of the line is also very “Look I’m a nice harmless grandma :) :)” and cutesy.

The verb for “use” is a different one this time, though, more straightforward.

And the last line is slightly ambiguous as to who you’d interfere with — either “I can’t let you interfere with my plan (which is to control Giovanni)”, or “I can’t let you interfere with Giovanni’s actions, since I need him to succeed for my own plans”. Ultimately that doesn’t change a thing, but the latter sounds a little like “heeeey don’t break my stuuuff, I need this”.

And by the way yes it’s literally “my king” in Japanese too, very conspicuously so, sounded super gay to me.

So to recap, this version gives us:

- puppet

- PURE EVIL MIND

- to treat him as my king (huhuh)

- human

- easy to understand, easy to control/keep in check

- puhwease :) don’t get in [his OR my] way

And now for the absolute funniest:

FRENCH:

“Mais pour cela, j'ai besoin d'une créature... Un pion facile à manipuler, un pantin pour distraire les masses...”

“Et soudain, voilà que le ‹‹ boss ›› de la Team Rocket, un homme à l'âme plus noire que son costume, se présente à moi !”

“Je n'ai qu'à faire de cet homme un roi, puis à tirer les ficelles en coulisses... Et je me dresserai au sommet incontesté de toute la création !”

“Il est tellement plus aisé de manipuler un balourd aux désirs primaires qu'une grotesque parodie d'être humain sans âme !”

“Comprenez-vous, belle enfant ? Et vous, Dresseuse ? Je ne peux vous laisser m'empêcher de faire de cet homme un roi.”

So much to unpack here. /rolls back sleeves/

First off, you can probably tell that the French localization loves to make Ghetsis RAMBLE. He’s very dramatic, flair and all, and his choice of words are absurdly purple (and often archaic). Yes, he noticeably has these traits in the ENG localization too, but FR!Ghetsis is that to eleven. I can’t manage to accurately convey this in these translations, but trust me, he’s just. Completely over the top in all ways, all the time.

Mais pour cela, j'ai besoin d'une créature... Un pion facile à manipuler, un pantin pour distraire les masses...

“But for this, I need a creature... A pawn, easy to manipulate, a puppet to distract/entertain the masses...”

Geez, FR!Ghets, how come your localization lets you have all the cool dehumanizing insults and creepy metaphors at once?!

Et soudain, voilà que le ‹‹ boss ›› de la Team Rocket, un homme à l'âme plus noire que son costume, se présente à moi !

“And suddenly, the “boss” of Team Rocket, a man with a soul blacker than his suit, presents himself to me!”

I treasure the shade in those sarcastic quotation marks, okay. These just. Come from absolutely nowhere. Quite possibly to poke fun at the fact that French localizations have used the word “boss” from the start of the franchise, and it would be weird and confusing to use something else to refer to Giovanni here, but it’s not actually a word we’d use naturally and, indeed, FR!Ghetsis would never use it unironically (it’s kind of slang and very much not-originally-a-French-word)...

Also: A SOUL BLACKER/DARKER THAN HIS SUIT

GUYS THIS WAS NOT IN THE ORIGINAL SCRIPT

Je n'ai qu'à faire de cet homme un roi, puis à tirer les ficelles en coulisses... Et je me dresserai au sommet incontesté de toute la création !

“All I need to do is to make this man king / make a king out of this man, then pull the strings backstage... And I will stand at the unquestioned/unchallenged top of all of creation!”

In this version he just says he’s literally going to make Giovanni a king. No detail as to how, but there’s no nuance that it’s just pretending or tricking him or anything. The words he uses also mean literally “pull strings” and “backstage”, exact same nuances as in English, so still totally reveling in the show metaphors.

Il est tellement plus aisé de manipuler un balourd aux désirs primaires qu'une grotesque parodie d'être humain sans âme !

“It is so much easier to manipulate a boorish oaf with primal/basic desires than a grotesque parody/repulsive joke of a soulless human being!”

... Again. Bonus extra shade. The original wasn’t complimentary by any measure, but this is so gratuitously extra mean. Amusingly, even though we have the word “ambitions” too, the FR localization opted to turn the JPN “objectives” into “desires”. Yes, same nuance as in English here too. “Désirs primaires” sounds insulting but also... kind of raunchy.

Also, “balourd” is a really funny word choice, intrinsically and also especially when contrasting with Ghetsis’ usual speech, it suddenly drops a few levels in formality to go almost colloquial. A “balourd” is like... think The Jungle Book’s Baloo, actually.

"Grotesque parodie d’être humain” was one of the (... many) things he yelled to N at the very end of B2W2, however it was translated a bit differently in BW, so this is the first reoccurrence French localizations get!

(... Because until then he had... quite a varied arsenal of these. “Marionnette” (puppet) and “aberration de la nature” (aberration/freak of nature) in B2W2, “MA CREATURE” (my creature/creation — Giovanni got this one too here!), “Il ne possède pas de coeur!” (He doesn’t possess a heart!) and “triste abomination” (sad/grotesque abomination) in BW.)

Comprenez-vous, belle enfant ? Et vous, Dresseur/Dresseuse ? Je ne peux vous laisser m'empêcher de faire de cet homme un roi.

“Do you understand, beautiful/lovely child? And you, Trainer? I cannot (afford to) let you stop me from making this man king / making a king out of this man.

This has nothing to do with Giovanni anymore but it’s some more extra creepy :) (HAHAHA YOU HAVE FALLEN FOR MY CUNNING TRICK i just wanted to ramble about Ghetsis’ awesome lines and speech patterns in general ok... don’t shame me...)

“Do you understand?” appears to be how the FR localization chose to deal with the “Ii desu ka?”, which isn’t a wrong decision, but they randomly decided to apply it to Lillie too.

“Belle enfant” is referring to Lillie, he calls her this through the entire scene. It sounds very archaic (calling to mind the Middle-Ages and fairy tales — it’s what someone would call a teenage Sleeping Beauty for instance) and also, you know, SUPER CREEPY. Also, despite this infantilization, he uses vous (= formal you) for both Lillie and the PC, which is very very odd for an adult speaking to a child. Like I said: extremely polite, overly so, unnaturally so.

... Until you beat him and he snaps, anyway, because then he switches to tu (= thee, informal/familiar you) and informal insults. <3

Anyway, in this version he says you’re in his way, not Giovanni’s.

So to recap:

- creature, puppet, pawn

- manipulate, pull strings, creation

=> overall, all the chess AND (puppet) show AND creator-god metaphors (later on instead of “ruler of this world” FR!Ghets literally calls himself “the demiurge”, I’m not making this up) 

- “““boss””” of Team Rocket

- his soul is blacker than his suit

- simplistic, boorish oaf

- ... does not directly call him a human (just at-least-not-a-grotesque-parody-of-a-human-being)

- primal desires ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

- don’t stop ME from MAKING HIM KING

- (no “my king” :()

I wasn’t setting out to make a point but oh hey guess there is one: the level of ‘respect’ and amusement Ghetsis has for Giovanni’s abilities and evilness, as well as exactly how serious Ghetsis is about the whole king thing, vary from one version to another, and some things can also be interpreted in various ways! The reason why he attacks you also differs from “Uhhmm, I can’t let you get to Giovanni and ruin his thing, because I need him functional for my thing later, so I’ll have to stop you here” to “Don’t ruin my thing. Lol just try and stop me”. ... And I thought he called Giovanni something along the lines of “black-hearted” in all versions, but this post taught me that he doesn’t, just “evil”, so hey now you know that in French he does, isn’t it neat!

Also, Giovanni may be evil and basic, but at least he doesn’t speak to Pokémon.

Ghetsis, your standards.

[happyclown]

OC TAG - Reed Tetsuya Azahara

tagged by one of my favorite babes, sonja 😘😘😘 @20-44-sims, I’ll do willa later lol

QUESTIONS below:

1. What is your name? Ello there, the name’s Reed

2. Do you know why you were named that? Hmm, uh, to be honest, I don’t. *googles name meaning* apparently, my name means “red-haired” on nameberry.com...huh, maybe that could explain my friendship with Luka hahah...but seriously tho, wtf mum.

3. Single or taken? *plays the celebration song on his phone and starts shuffling* ya man finally got married, it was the best day of my life!

4. Stop being a Mary Sue! ...Uh, don’t you mean Gary Stu? I’ve read enough shitty fanfics to know that.

5. What’s your eye color? They’re just brown

6. How about hair color? Dark Brown right now, but I’ve been thinking of going blonde for a while. I’m getting older, might as well try different colors before I’m old and balding right? *shrugs*

7. Have you any family members? I have my mum, dad, lil sis, and *in ned from buzzfeed voice* MY WIFE... sorry, bit obnoxious? I couldn’t help myself hahahah. I’m still reveling in my marriage.

8. Oh, how about pets? Well, excluding the cats my family owns, there’s my good old boy poe and then the newest addition, noodle. Still warming up to noodle tho, he’s a little cold-blooded *chuckles* get it...

9. That’s cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don’t like? Hmmm, probably heights...pretentious snobs, bad writing, fucking marmite, not that much I can think of right now.

10. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do? I love traveling, especially with friends and family, there’s also playing my bass guitar, reading some good novels, cooking, eating, and painting with my wife

11. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before? Emotionally, maybe?

12. Ever… killed anyone before? what the actual fuck. Do I look like someone who could kill?

13. What kind of animal are you? Probably a giraffe hahahahah...they’re tall, spend most of their time eating, and have big hearts *gives a cheeky smile*

14. Name your worst weaknesses. I work too much, super duper emotional/sensitive...(you cry imma cry harder kinda person), i can’t focus for shit sometimes, lotta things to work on hahahah

15. Do you look up to anyone at all? My parents. They worked very hard to raise my sister and I.

16. Are you straight, gay or bisexual? I’m straight...surprised?

17. Do you go to school? Yup, even got a master’s degree in fine art media from slade.

18. Ever want to marry and have kids one day? Haha, already got married *does a little shimmy* and yeah sure, why not? Doesn’t really matter how many kids we have or if we have kids at all. It would be rather cute to see a tiny Will or me running around the house tho

19. Do you have fangirls/fanboys? I don’t think so. I’m not famous or anything. My wife is the famous one.

20. What are you most afraid of? Losing my friends and family, especially my wife. They’re my everything. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for them.

21. What do you usually wear? Weird old dress shirt that your grandpa would wear, my lucky denim jeans, and some cool accessories. 

22. What’s one food that tempts you? a good fish and chips

23. Am I annoying you? Nope, takes a lot to annoy me.

24. Well, it’s not over! Ok, keep the questions coming then.

25. What class are you (low class, middle class, high class)? I was born middle class, still am. I make enough money to have a decent living and have some money on the side.

26. How many friends do you have? Many close friends and I love them all to death. Would do anything for my friends.

27. What are your thoughts on pie? cake is better... sorry not sorry

28. Favorite drink? guinness beer, mixed drinks are good too

29. What’s your favorite place? The tree house at my parent’s house is still one of my favorites. Lotta fond memories made there when I was younger.

30. Are you interested in anyone? *ned from buzzfeed voice* MY WIFE...sorry, you probably think I’m being annoying...I just love telling people I have a wife.

31. That was a stupid question. *shrugs* eh.

32. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean? doesn’t matter, i still have to drag will around anyways

33. What’s your type? I like people with big personalities. If you make me laugh and have a great smile, I’ll usually fall head over heels with you. 

34. Any fetishes? ....only my wife knows, nobody else has to know.

35. Camping or indoors? I love camping, kinda wanna do another camping trip with will and some friends. Just gonna stock up on bug spray hahah

That’s it? Well, okay then...