#this really made me realize my cards need leveling and I don’t have a lot of cards

[djchik]

Twst Book 7 spoilers

NO AKSNEKDNAIDWMIWKISKAJDNEDIAKFEIDMAIDWMDIWKSJWKDWISMEIEJWODKEISK SOBS WHY every time I fight him I loose it cause it’s not fair he got like hp 60000 and regains 60000 hp after every round 😭

Me: gets done with the first lil map thingy for Lilias dream

Me: “sweet. Almost done. Malleus I’m coming for you sweetie 🫶💛”

Them giving me another map to finish

“IM BACK IN THE F-ING BUILDING”

WHYYYYY JUST WHYYY I WANNA CRY. I JUST WANNA CATCH UPPPP

(Got help from a friend with which spaces were best to go through or at least what she did so I’m using that as reference thank you so much for that bestie 🫶💛)

Chapter 7 is going to make me cry so hard because what is this

Silver is so cute oml. I love him so much you guys 🥹💛

But also I’m not ready for the 50000000 angst and trauma coming after that cutie patooties smile

Me rn: ☺️😆😁😄😃😀😯😦😧🫤😐😕🙁☹️��😃😮😬😨😰😥🥲🥹😭😭😭😭💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ 🪦 🪦🪦🪦🪦🪦😳💀☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️😚😭😭😭😭💀💀💀💀💀🪦🪦🪦🪦🪦🪦😀👍

[alchemie-tarot]

Cold Moon Pick-A-Card: What is Coming To A Close In Your Life?

Here’s to the last full moon of 2022. She invites us to look back on everything that transpired this year, especially the events that had us face our shadows. Transformation can often take place in darkness. Know that it gets brighter from here. ✨🌕✨

Feel free to choose the pile/s that call out to you. Some details may not resonate with you since this is a general reading. As always, nothing is set in stone, so please don’t take it too seriously.

Extra: The Justice card was at the back of the deck before I started shuffling. When I was still warming up, shuffling without intention, Justice dropped from the deck. She is a general theme for the piles of this reading. She has our backs.

Extra (2): Featuring my photographic attempts to capture Miss Mama Moon.

Pile 1

Cards: King of Pentacles, 5 of Wands, 3 of Pentacles

Right away I see that this is about your work, or something you’re putting a lot of effort into. You’ve established yourself in this place, but lately it feels rigid, like there’s hardly any room to breathe. “No freedom” came to me quite strongly. This could be a lucrative pursuit you have lost your passion for. For others, it could also be something you pursued for the sake of financial stability and security, but now you feel that it’s time to move on to something you genuinely like and flourish in. 

There seem to be voices in your head pulling you in different directions, arguing with each other. For most, though, I feel that it’s more so from your surroundings that are affecting you than your thoughts. Has someone been disrupting your space lately? They seem to be driven by self-interest. Your environment could be tense and filled with clashing egos, or some of your peers are threatened by your power. Either way, they just mess up your vibe.

Take a deep breath, Pile 1. I see that whether you decide to stay or to choose another path, you’re in for a breath of fresh air. This crowd will close its chapter in your life, and new connections will come in. They will be nothing like your previous or current peers. Collaboration is valued at a spiritual level. They will see you as someone to invest in, and you will mirror this view towards them. 

They could be older or more experienced in the field that you choose. In fact, you’re likely to find a mentor in them. They will bring you to places you haven’t been, I feel. It’s really up to you where.

This is the speediest and most straightforward interpretation I’ve ever done for a pile so far. I feel like you will realize quickly when these people come around, or they will approach you right away.

===

Pile 2

Cards: 9 of Swords, King of Pentacles, The Fool

Are you having a hard time getting some good sleep lately? Something seems to be keeping you awake or has been giving you unpleasant dreams. I could sense an almost tangible anxiety around this trauma. I believe it’s related to money or something material that’s important to your security. 

Some of you may have been carrying a responsibility like this on your shoulders quite early on in your life, and it has taken its toll on you. For a few, I feel the energy of someone stern who may hold some power over you in your career or, again, in relation to money. It’s like they’ve been blocking you from getting any kind of breather.

Putting my arm around you, Pile 2. These things are not easy to navigate at all. I hope I can ease your worries somehow, since this reading is about things in your life that are coming to an end. 

The big break you’ve been waiting for is not so far from your horizon. It will feel like the brightest of new beginnings. Seriously, you’re moving from the bleak darkness of worry that never seemed to end, and into broad daylight where you can see the land across you for miles. Your burdens would be made light and, perhaps for the first time in a long time, you’ll be able to throw your cares in the air and think about yourself. 

I feel the need to add: when I shuffled for this pile, the first card deliberately slipped out of the deck without falling. It took me a few seconds to decide if I was going to get it. The same happened with the rest of the cards. I felt unsure even in the order I was going to lay them on. This new beginning may unfold slowly and you may find yourself going from hopeful to fearful, back and forth, worrying if things are on the right track.

Please take it easy on yourself and know that it’s normal to have moments of doubt especially after you’ve been through a heavy situation. Every little glimmer of hope contributes to the new foundation you’re making. You will get there. 

When you do, you will feel like a child. What felt like years of torment will gradually return to you in the form of healing. Instead of a mountain to climb, your next step will feel like the start of an adventure.

===

Pile 3

Cards: 2 of Cups, 3 of Pentacles, Knight of Swords

Okay, I feel like you have already got a lot of abundance in your hands. I see that you’re quite gratified within a relationship or a kind of partnership that’s close to your heart. You’re busy with projects you enjoy working on, with people who admire and trust your abilities in your team. You’re surrounded by energies who lift you up and encourage you to be productive.

Not gonna lie, this is not the kind of scenario I expected to see in a reading about something coming to a close in your life. These three cards came all together and I had a distinct sense to order them this way. I was dumbfounded at first glance. At the same time, I don’t feel like it necessarily means that your auspicious situation will come to an end. Fortunately, the third card explains what’s on its way to you.

The Knight of Swords is all about independence. There is an opportunity for you to experience going solo. It’s more of putting some distance between you and your tribe in order to be in your own space for a while, rather than cutting ties with them.

A swift change seems to be on the way that needs you to be quick on your feet. An emphasis for you to make your own decisions. Maybe you’ve been relying a bit too much on your circle? Yes, they make you feel safe, but there’s a sense of being oblivious to the consequences of certain actions when you’re only taking account of the blissful feelings.

Again, I don’t necessarily think that what brings you joy is about to be stripped from you. This may just be a way to test your tenacity and dedication about something. It involves a lot of your inner strength. You may come face to face with your priorities. Regardless, only you can say what is meant for you deep down. Hold on to that.

===

Pile 4

Cards: 6 of Wands, 6 of Pentacles, 10 of Wands Rx, 10 of Cups

An extra card jumped out. What are the odds that a pair of Sixes and then a pair of Tens came out? That’s pretty cool.

Being generous comes naturally to you. You share what you can to people in need and these people really look up to you. This admiration makes you feel good about yourself and you take pride in being able to help others. It’s like a part of your identity now and because of that, you may think you have peaked at this position. There’s a feeling of wanting to give and give on behalf of everybody. Because of the little attention you genuinely turn to yourself, you may be on the brink of burnout without knowing it. You could even be denying it.

You’re not solely a giver, Pile 4. There is no need for you to prove this about yourself over and over. We already know it. You need to refocus because I feel like you’re having a problem disengaging from this role. If you persist in this mindset, it will end up doing more harm than good. It’s safe for you to express how you truly feel. It’s okay to acknowledge that you need support, too.

All the noble deeds you have done will return to you tenfold. True, stable, and long-term harmony in all fields awaits you. You care so much for others, but now you need to be open to receive. The people you have lent a hand to would happily return the favour. Letting this go will help your innate abundance spread more evenly to everyone– and yes, that includes you, too. You deserve it most of all.

===

Thank you for taking the time to interact with this reading. Feel free to share and let me know how you found it, if it resonated or not, etc. Don’t be shy to send me feedback or details about it, if you’d like. I would really appreciate it!

Take care always! ✨🌕✨

[buckysimp101]

Everything the Light Touches (18+) - Chapter Thirteen

Mafia!Bucky x Reader

chapter warnings: language, angst, drinking, unwanted touching/slight non-con (by a certain person. you’ll see)

a/n: hi bestiesssssss. i hope you’ve all been doing well and remember, if you want to be added to the taglist just let me know! side note: the ETLT masterlist post is at 900+ notes and that number makes me want to cry. do. thank YOU for reading and i hope you enjoy!

Series Masterlist

Bucky’d had the week from hell. The day you moved in he felt like he was holding his breath until he saw you interact with Alpine after his father left. Then he was being called away by Steve to talk about the situation with your parents and Pierce, a situation namely involved Caden Smith and his burgeoning role in the Pierce family as Alexander’s right hand. 

“Steve I don’t care what the fuck we have to do to keep that fuck head away from her, but Smith is almost as dangerous to her as Pierce and Stinson combined. I don’t want him anywhere near my side of fucking town. You see him anywhere near her you kill him. I don’t give a fuck what it starts, that man will. Not. See. Her,” Bucky’d growled when Steve mentioned how Smith had been sneaking around their side of the city more as if placed on an undercover mission. Bucky had ground his teeth when he heard that Thor had caught Smith lounging around outside The Underworld. Bucky’s memory of the last time he’d seen Caden Smith, knocked out and bloodied outside the Stark Industries gala, brought to mind the words he’d said about you, aka the whole reason Bucky had knocked him out in the first place. Caden Smith may have seemed like a harmless, meager lackey when you first came to town, but that had quickly shifted. 

Bucky had returned home late that night. He’d greeted Alpine when he walked in the door with a couple scratches and treats and as he walked to her room to play with her for a little bit he stopped at the sound of quite sobs and near hyperventilation coming from your room. Bucky’s body seized at the sound but as he approached your door to knock and check on you he heard talking on the other side.

“Wanda what the fuck d-do I do? I can’t run away, someone will find me. I am NOT marrying Liam fucking Stinson but is Bucky really any better?” 

The implications in your wobbling voice that Bucky was as bad as Liam in your eyes cut him to the quick. A sharp stab of hurt and pain slicing at his heart had Bucky removing his hand from the door but also kept him frozen to the spot. Your quieted cries were dampened by another voice lightly cooing and speaking calmly.

“Sweetheart, you know the answer to that. You know that Bucky is a thousand times better than anything your parents and Liam could ever devise. I know he broke your heart. You know he broke your heart. Hell at this point, he knows. But you need to talk to him. Maybe it’ll help you to at least see more clearly why he did what he did…that doesn’t mean you have to like him or love him or ever want to be near him again. Just. Don’t murder the man. The way I see it, he’s your ticket to true freedom.”

That made Bucky step away. In that moment, Bucky began to truly realize the level at which he’d hurt you. Her’d slowly been processing it since the truth had come out at his father’s conference room table not long ago but he’d never truly looked into how he did the opposite of what he had planned to do. Bucky Barnes never wanted to hurt you. It was never in the cards for him. Bucky had been hurt when your parents unveiled the truth behind their plans to him at just nineteen years old. His immediate thought was that you had been involved and knew about what they had planned but there was always a small voice in the back of his mind saying it was bullshit. The voice suspiciously sounded a lot like Steve Rogers but he brushed past that.

Bucky Barnes had loved you with a passion so intense it could dissolve entire solar systems. But he couldn’t tell you that. Not now. Not after how he’d hurt you and been the one to destroy any semblance of a “blissful” future the two of you may have had. And now? Now he had no clue how to make it right.

And so, for the rest of the week Bucky stayed out of your way. At least that’s what he called it. Natasha said he was avoiding the inevitable. Sam said he was being an idiot. Even Steve huffed out a laugh at the latter. Bucky had spent the week going to work early and leaving work late. Going to Steve or Natasha’s after work to just give you time alone. He’d met with his father once to talk over the order he’d given regarding Caden Smith and George had seemed a little uncertain. But after mentioning the words that had come out of Smith’s mouth in regards to George Barnes’ future daughter-in-law he’d conceded almost immediately, grumbling something about ‘nobody talks like that about my daughter’ under his breath as he nodded his head in approval.

When Bucky had found out that you’d be going shopping for wedding dresses with his mother, Pepper and Natasha he’d almost died. His heart was practically galloping, thumping a military tattoo in his chest, but he kept it cool. 

That is, if ��keeping it cool’ is going to his father and practically begging for his grandmother’s ring back. Ever since he was a teenager, Bucky had plans on proposing to you with the Barnes family ring. It was a family heirloom. And it was always meant to be yours. At eighteen Bucky had taken to carrying it around with him, unsure of when he wanted to propose but always certain it would be you. Now? Bucky knew that the ring belonged to you. Even if this was a sham of a marriage. Even if this was a forced arrangement that would one day end in his heart and soul shattering but yours being set free. It was always yours. Just like his heart.

When he’d asked his father, George’s lips had quirked up and he had gone to the family safe and retrieved the ring that Bucky had returned to him almost a decade ago. When the box landed in Bucky’s hand George had spoken softly and somberly.

“Fix this, son. Before you truly fuck it up beyond repair.”

His father’s words had sat in his head. He’d stewed over them and their silent meaning. Bucky hadn’t seen you in time to give you the ring before dress shopping and he wasn’t sure when the best time would be. Until tonight, when he told you to get dressed for an outing to The Underworld under the guise of ‘being seen’ and ‘keeping up appearances.’ After a conversation on not avoiding each other anymore, he’d given you the ring and then headed to his office to give you space to process everything. It was something that he remembered you liked to do when the two of you used to fight or bring up big topics.

Sitting at his desk, Bucky poured himself two fingers of whiskey and drank deeply as Alpine jumped into his lap for pets. Sam had joked more than once that he always gave off Dr. Evil vibes in his home office with the fluffy white cat making appearances more than she stayed hidden away and the thought of that topic brought the ghost of a smirk to Bucky’s lips. Finishing his drink, Bucky headed to the front door to wait for you. You appeared in his line of sight and promptly took his breath away. 

He wasn’t joking. Looking at you was like a sucker punch to the gut. It felt like all the air had been knocked out of his lungs as he looked you over slowly with a heated gaze. You were more beautiful. More ethereal. More. Fucking. Sexy. And that was a thought that Bucky needed to let go of pronto. When you cleared your voice and spoke the words he hadn’t heard in a decade Bucky truly thought his heart had stopped. That was having a heart attack. But there you were in front of him, ready to go out with him for the first time in a decade and he knew what he wanted. He wanted you. He would always want you. But in order to get you? He needed to gain your trust. Your forgiveness. And he was convinced he’d be willing to work the rest of his life to do so.

Bucky held the door to the car open for you and entered behind you, giving his driver, a young kid new to the family named Peter, a nod and directions to The Underworld before turning his head slightly to look at you. You were looking out the window, twiddling your fingers absentmindedly. Bucky reached his own hand to yours slowly, as if waiting for you to flinch or move away or glare at him for daring to touch you, but you did none of that. You continued looking out the window but Bucky could hear the deep inhale as he placed his hand over yours softly. And for the first time since he gave you the ring Bucky spoke.

“You look beautiful, Y/N.” His voice came out scratchy but delicate, a part of him was afraid that if he spoke to assuredly or too loudly that you’d shatter in front of him and disappear, like the vision he was still terrified you were. Ever since you’d walked through his front door Bucky was slowly becoming convinced that this was all a dream that he’d wake up from one day and you’d be missing from his life yet again. 

Your thanks was silent. Your thanks was in the form of twisting your hand, palm facing his, and squeezing lightly. 

The Underworld was busier than Bucky had seen it in a while. He knew he’d made the right decision of choosing his club to be seen with you for the first time in years. Thor personally led the two of you to the VIP section and Bucky swore his eyes weren’t working right. Because you thanked Thor with a breathy voice and fluttery lashes, a hint of a smile creeping onto your face. And Bucky didn’t like that. He didn’t like that one bit. 

“Thanks, Odinson. Back to the door with you,” he growled in the direction of his man, who in return forced his attention away from you to Bucky with the raise of a brow. Bucky glared in return and Thor walked away with both hands up in mock defense as he walked backwards out of the VIP booth. You whipped your head around to glare at Bucky, your frosty gaze chilling out the heat he’d felt moments ago.

“That was rude. Do you treat all of your staff like that?” You bit out, raising a brown questioningly to Bucky but before he could answer another person was interrupting.

“Oh come on sweetheart, you know Buck. Never knows when to lay off,” Steve Rogers purred from his place next to you. Fucking purred. You grinned up at him and Bucky felt the heat of anger return. Steve was fucking with him, Bucky knew that, but damn if it didn’t hurt him to see you acting like you and Steve had never stopped being friends. He was certain that you’d befriend Sam again before you befriended Steve since the former was left mostly in the dark, but apparently you’d either decided to forgive him or at the very least let him again. Bucky could barely hear the words Steve was saying to you and vice versa over the pounding of his heart in his ears. But he did eventually pick up on the other new voice coming from the VIP entrance. Natasha. 

“Well don’t we look all comfy cozy. Welcome back to the Underworld, Seph. Did Master Hades finally drag you back?” Natasha drawled with a growing teasing grin on her lips and your face seemed to mimic it. And that caused Bucky’s blood to freeze. You seemed more at home here with Natasha and Steve, in the dimly lit atmosphere of The Underworld, than you had in the last week of living in his apartment. And Bucky was going to right that. Before he could speak though, you were being whisked off to find Clint and whatever poison he was mixing up tonight with Natasha on one side and Steve on the other. 

Bucky took a seat at the booth, settling in with a glass of whiskey he poured from his hidden stash as he watched you interact with your former friends. You and Natasha had started getting along a little more in the last week and apparently you had decided to let Steve in too. Maybe a little too much. Because next thing Bucky knew you were throwing your head back in laughter at something Steve had said and you were clutching Steve’s bicep with your small hand, Bucky could see the punk’s eyes shimmering with delight from where he was sitting. And that look on your face? He did not like it. Not one bit.

Bucky knew what that face was. He knew what you were doing. You weren’t talking to Steve like he was your “bestie for ten years.” No. You were looking at Steve Rogers like he was the ‘golden retriever, boy next door, Captain America’ that you’d teased Bucky about all those years ago. 

You. Were. Flirting. 

And Bucky was going to be sick. Or kill someone. Namely Steve because he was flirting back in the way that friends do. But in a way that Bucky was not enjoying one bit. Bucky was in the middle of grinding his teeth and squeezing the table, two seconds from standing up and demanding Steve to step the fuck back, too engrossed in figuring out how to pull Steve away without punching him to see someone slide into the booth next to him. A small hand slipped into Bucky’s lap inching ever closer to the inside of his thighs and a pair of lips attached themselves to his neck, kissing and sucking lightly up to his jaw. And Bucky’s entire body froze.

Megan. Shit. Maybe coming to The Underworld wasn’t the best place for this public outing to happen. 

“Bucky Bear, I’ve missed you. Where’ve you been hiding at, baby?” Megan cooed in his ear before nibbling it and adjusting herself to straddle Bucky’s thigh, her green eyes sparkling as she leaned in to kiss Bucky. At the right moment Bucky ducked out of the way, his brain running a million miles a second with blaring sirens flashing ABORT ABORT ABORT. 

Megan pouted her lips, obviously upset that Bucky was avoiding her kiss and moved to grind her hips on Bucky’s thigh. Bucky quickly deposited Megan off his lap and into the seat next to him as he struggled to take in a calming breath and ran a hand through his hair.

“Baby, what’s wrong? Here, let Megan fix it. My Bucky Bear just needs a wet hot mouth to cum in and it’ll all be better-“ she began moving her hand to Bucky’s zipper and that seemed to snap him out of whatever weird semi-catatonic state he was in. Bucky grabbed Megan’s wrist and held it light enough to not hurt her, but strong enough to show he meant business.

“Let go, Megan. This isn’t happening.”

“What do you mean it’s not happening?” She fluttered those fake lashes up at him and tried to look innocent but it just made Bucky’s stomach roll. You were here. You were here with him, albeit somewhat forced but still. And Bucky was damned if he was gonna let Megan ruin that. He fixed Megan with a glare that he hoped she’d understand as him being serious but apparently it wasn’t good enough. She pursed her lips into a deeper, faker pout and spoke again, “Come on, Barnes. Let me do this for you. Look at you, you’re all tense, I can help with that. We can sneak off to the storage room. Piss off, Romanoff. Like old times.”

Bucky couldn’t handle Megan’s attempt to seduce him and he very much so wanted her off his lap immediately so he said the first thing that came to mind.

“I’m getting married, Megan.”

She froze. Honest to god Bucky thought someone had just pressed pause on the Megan Rollins Show because she didn’t blink or breathe. Until she did. And then Megan was plastering what Bucky guessed was supposed to be a seductive grin on her lips as she ran her pointer finger up and down his jaw line and neck before attempting to sit in his lap yet again.

“Oh baby, that’s okay. I can be your mistress. Every succesful man has one and I doubt whatever shrew you’re marrying could ever possibly bring you to your knees like I ca-“

“Not happening, Megan. This is over. We’re over.” Bucky spoke holding Megan firmly off his lap and away from him, but his eyes were focused on you dancing with Steve and Natasha on the dance floor. And Bucky hated it.

“What do you MEAN we’re over!? I don’t know what’s going through that head of yours but you NEED me, Barnes. ME. Not some whore who can’t keep up with you. ME!” Megan was practically screeching from her place next to him.  But he didn’t want to be here with Megan. He wanted to be out there with you. With his friends. He wanted the whole world to know you were his and more importantly, that he was yours.

Well you’re not gonna be able to do that with Megan clinging onto you and trying to ride you into oblivion dumbass. Fucking MOVE, he thought to himself before sliding out the opposite end of the booth. Megan’s face was taking on a scary shade of beet red due to the rejection and embarrassment she was feeling. But before she could say anything else to piss Bucky off he was making his way to the DJ stand at the head of the dance floor, catching you by surprise by the arm on his way. 

You wriggled in his hold, confusion written all over your face but before you could ask him what he was doing Bucky was grabbing the microphone from the DJ and speaking.

“Welcome everyone to The Underworld. Many of you I’ve seen before and some I haven’t, but I appreciate your patronage. Tonight is a very special night and I’m ordering a round for everyone because I am marrying Y/N/ L/N and there’s nothing that anyone will ever or can ever do about it.”

The words were out before Bucky even realized what he was doing. When he looked at you your eyes were wide and a look akin to fear was flashing through your eyes and Bucky swore his face was probably a reflection of yours. Cause Bucky had just done something pretty stupid. 

He’d just staked his claim in front of the entirety of The Underworld. He’d just outed your ‘relationship’ to the world without a second thought. He’d done so in a place where he knew Pierce was sending spies.  But before he could say anything to you, to apologize discretely, applause broke out across the club as people began flooding Clint and the rest of the bar staff for their free drink. You turned to face him slowly, anger and fear pasted on your face, and if Bucky looked behind you he knew he’d see the same on Steve and Natasha’s as well. But you didn’t say anything. You couldn’t fuss with him. Not in this space where all the attention was going to be on the two of you until you left. So. Bucky whispered in your hair the first thing that came to mind as he slid his arm around your waist to pull you tight against him to allow him to bend down to press a “kiss” into your hair.

“Fuck.”

“My sentiments exactly,” you growled back while hiding behind a broad smile and a glass of champagne that was being handed to you by a well-wishing patron as you dug your nails into Bucky’s arm while trying to look like a loving couple. 

You fucked up, Barnes. Say goodbye to the peace you were hoping for the next couple weeks.

“We’re not exactly looking couple-y…and we might need to convince some people, I’ve got a few disbelieving looks pointed my way” he murmured in your hair and your face turned at breakneck speed to glare at him.

“How exactly do you expect us to look couple-y, James” you hissed under your breath and Bucky took in how your eyes were flashing. Flashing with confusion and maybe a little anger. And then his gaze dropped down to your lips. They parted in a gasp of realization and your eyes widened. 

His eyes wandered back to yours before he whispered, “do you trust me?”

“Not at all,” you breathed, eyes still wide, and Bucky had to hold back a chuckle.

“Trust me, honey. Please. I need you to trust me.”

He watched you take in a breath, close your eyes, and he swore he saw your lips moving as if you were counting to ten. Your lids fluttered as you opened them, lips parting as if to speak but when no words came out you closed them and nodded your head slowly, albeit a little uncertainly.

Giving Bucky enough time to close the gap between the two of you and press his lips to yours.

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[all-eyes-lead-to-the-truth]

All Eyes Lead to the Truth | The End (5x20)

“Chair. Piano. Piece of pie. Light bulb. Smiley face. Statue. Cat.”

Gibson could tell the people in front of him were impressed, but he wasn’t even trying. He never had to try. If anything, he had to try to keep from paying attention to what everyone else was thinking. But this card game they were playing? That was baby stuff.

Because he heard everything. All the time.

They had no idea what it was like to realize that the manager at a grocery store was stealing money from the safe in the back room when you were all the way up at the cash registers. Or what it was like to pick out the kid in a stadium full of people who was mad at his mother for making him wear his least comfortable pants. No one needed to know those things, but he knew them.

Gibson heard all of it, whether he wanted to or not. Just like he could hear what the two female agents were thinking from where they stood behind the mirror. They thought he didn’t know they were there, which was ridiculous. They knew what he could do. They should have known better.

…Fox and I never encountered anything on this level. This could change everything…

The brown-haired one. Diana. Gibson didn’t like the way she thought. She looked serious, maybe nice on the outside, but on the inside, she was always plotting something.

…Fox doesn’t understand what this means, but he’ll listen to me. I’ll get him to understand…

Gibson couldn’t figure her out. She seemed like she liked Fox. She was nice to him and she knew him from a long time ago. He’d heard her memories. They were happy, but a lot of the time, she thought about him in an almost angry way. Like she was mad at him for something.

Plus, Gibson knew her former partner preferred to be called Mulder, no matter what Diana thought. That’s what Dana called him and that’s how he thought of himself.

Gibson needed to focus. They were playing a new game. He was bored and would rather listen to the two agents, because sometimes he found grownups fascinating. Especially when they thought very different things than what they actually said.

But he did as he was told.

…That omelet didn’t have enough cheese…

“Omelet.”

…She sounds just like him. I wonder if they called her Spooky Fowley…

Dana was definitely angry, but only because of the other woman. Gibson knew right away that she didn’t like her. She didn’t trust her.

…I love Dunkin Donuts. The coffee burned my tongue. The cruller was okay, but I would have preferred a jelly donut…

“Coffee and a cruller.”

…How well did they know each other? I’ve been his partner for five years and I’ve never heard of this Diana Fowley. I’ve never heard of her, and she’s acting like she knows him better than anyone else in his life. How can that be possible?...

…I wish I’d eaten something this morning. I don’t even like nonfat lattes, but at least they’re nonfat…

“A nonfat latte.”

…I’m surprised Fox hasn’t told her about me. Interesting. Well… I’m not going to be the one to tell her…

…Why wouldn’t Mulder mention her?...

Gibson listened to the foods that everyone ate, but who cares? The women behind the mirror were far more interesting, even if he didn’t know what they were worrying about. He wondered when he would see Mulder again. Maybe Gibson would understand what was happening better when he heard what he was thinking.

“An English muffin,” Gibson said, though he’d barely paid attention to the last person’s thought.

…Dana seems smart. I’m sure she’ll figure out how we know each other…

Gibson didn’t really have a religion. None of it made sense to him, anyway. It was all made up. One person would believe one thing and another would believe something completely different, and he didn’t believe any of it. But if he did pray, he would ask for Diana to think about what she was really there for.

…There’s no way he’s going to get this…

Gibson wanted to groan and roll his eyes, but that wasn’t polite. He could hear the man running through all the things he’d eaten, how full he’d been afterwards, and how he’d probably eat the same thing again in a few days. But Gibson was focused on Dana.

…The Gunmen will know, and I’ll make them tell me…

Dana sounded so sure that he believed her… even if he didn’t know what gunmen she was talking about.

The people in front of him watched and waited, and he gave them what they wanted. “Grand Slam number two with double hash browns and a side of Canadian bacon.”

No one ever thought he could get the difficult ones, but Gibson always could. The room was filled with laughter but he just sat there. He wasn’t paying attention to those people. He was listening to Diana.

…And now she’s off to figure it all out and report back to Fox. I really can’t imagine him working with her. It must be awful for him…

Gibson liked Dana, and if he were Mulder, he would rather work with her than this other woman. Dana was nice. She’d talked to him like he was a little kid, but he knew she meant well. She felt bad for him, which he didn’t usually like, but it was better than how Diana treated him. She just saw him as a science project.

“That was very impressive, Gibson,” Diana said as she entered the room and slowly walked toward him. She smiled and her voice was kind, but he didn’t trust her. She was thinking about turning him over to someone. Someone bad. Someone who wanted to know more about what he could do.

Diana was plotting again; Gibson could hear it, and it wasn’t good.

Read the rest of All Eyes Lead to the Truth on Archive of Our Own!

@fridaysat9

[powderblueblood]

PARENTHOOD VERSE MY BELOVED .. the sole idea of Lacey having to show up to a parent teacher conference and having to be convinced that no actually cutting class to go smoke is kind of a bad thing and her realizing that she does not know how to talk to a teen anymore (she never did)

“i’m doing this because i love you.”

“and i love you for doing this!”

“no, i need to say it out loud so it’s believable, otherwise i’ll drive my car into the ditch on the way to that godforsaken school.”

“you won’t do that, lace.”

“give me one good reason.”

“three—because you love me, because you want an open casket funeral, and because… you might be a little fond of that kid. i think.”

this whole thing is fucked.

chair’s too small, first of all—they definitely made the chairs smaller since lacy went here which she can only assume is some kind of tactic of psychological warfare. which leads her to think, okay…

“if i may, can you just level with me, cunningham?”

christine cunningham. ninth grade biology and health teacher. decidedly not the mother of lacy’s kind of-ish stepson, but damn well could’ve been. which freaks her out a little bit.

“he’s doing okay, isn’t he?”

chrissy taps her pen against the report card.

“well… he’s doing more than okay, lacy, he’s doing pretty… great, actually, especially for a new transfer—“

crazy how those munson genes can mutate.

“uh huh. and he did the reading for that class?”

“yeah, as far as i—“

“so what’s the problem?” lacy shrugs.

a look of mild incredulity from chrissy, like, do you seriously not get this.

“no, i’m serious,” lacy presses, “what’s the problem.”

“the problem,” chrissy scoffs, “is he cut the period to go sell loosies to freshmen by the athletic track.”

lacy can’t help but caw a little laugh. and the genes are strong! wait til this gets back to the fathership… that entrepreneurial spirit just won’t be beat out of these boys, will it?

“chrissy, c’mon, who among us hasn’t—“

“that doesn’t really matter, lacy. aren’t we all trying to do a better job than our parents did?”

okay, that’s a little on the nose. lacy’s got to concede, because she can’t compete with chrissy’s big ageless moony eyes and earnest nature. makes her want to drop kick a garden gnome. so she straightens her collar, promises to talk to the kid and gives her a little if that’s everything and good to see you, chris then she’s dismissed.

kid’s waiting in the hallway, legs splayed out from his chair. he’s so goddamned tall and wiry that he takes up half the fucking corridor. those munson magic brown irises swivel up to her, but the charm’s killed by the sneer on his face.

“so?”

“you’re over. they’re making us homeschool you.”

“i’d like to see you give that a crack. what’s first, replacement parent theory 101?”

“aren’t you hardboiled! c’mon. let’s go.”

lacy notices his footsteps get a little more anxious, work a little harder to catch up with her little clip as they cross the parking lot. there’s a friendly heaping of his grandfather in him that way.

“so what are you gonna tell dad?” he asks, nervous edge cracking at his voice as he folds his enormously long legs into the passenger seat of this joke of a hotrod she’s still driving. al’s. she’s trying to give it a good home.

lacy takes a long look at him, with his father’s eyes and nose and nerve and a mop of curly hair to seal the deal. he’s fretting a little, the shitstarter attitude he’d come from the west coast with wearing a little thin in their little pocket of east jesus nowhere.

“depends,” she says, “how much you make with those loosies?”

“i don’t know.” he shrugs, he knows. “fifteen bucks or something.”

“fifteen bu—?! what were you charging? a goddamn dollar a dart?!”

“something like that.”

“how did you not get beat up?”

“rich kids don’t know the difference. i just looked for the richest looking kids.”

lacy blinks. starts the car.

“you’re using that and whatever’s left in your wallet to buy dinner,” she sighs, a grin threatening her. “and i’ll tell e—your dad exactly what i was told.”

a nervous beat. she hears him clench his jaw.

“that franklin munson is a goddamned grade a student.”

“ugh. don’t suck up.”

“do i look like i’m trying to impress you, frankie?”

she is, a little.

[helpolnix]

May 8th and 9th

My usual check in with Hermes got hijacked, as I’ve been saying. Maybe hijacked isn’t the right word but whatever. I don’t know what really passed my mind to make me think, “I should ask if I’m talking to Hermes,” but I did ask myself that, and after consulting with my pendulum…

I was not talking to Hermes.

Cue some panic. I’m a new practitioner, kinda. I’ve been very very casual about it since I was a kid. Both working with deities and practicing witchcraft. The idea of a deity reaching out first was something I’ve heard of, but why would that happen to me of all people? I didn’t understand it in the slightest. So I haphazardly switched around what questions I asked my tarot cards, even looked up spreads online while my hands shook.

I used my pendulum to ask the gender of the deity first, and stupidly I didn’t think to ask immediately afterwards if it was one of the twelve Olympians. I only thought of that *after* a very confusing tarot spread. Been using tarot cards for years but I was never very disciplined, so I’m still awkward with them sometimes. I need a new deck, too.

So, after guessing wrong no less than 6 times, I finally found out it was Dionysus. I was incredibly befuddled, not knowing why Dionysus would reach out to someone like me. But that was actually on me. After ending the conversation and doing further research, I realized my issues, personality, and identity align very well with him. I read about how he’s helped so many people become more comfortable with themselves and just be more confident.

And I thought, fuck, that is something I want.

Plus I am a former theater kid that still yearns to be on stage sometimes. (Random, but in middle school we actually did Pandora’s box for the school play. I played Pandora. Fun time.)

I slept on it, did some more research, mulled it over all day, then sat down just about an hour ago to write a note to both Hermes and Dionysus. I find letter writing my favorite way to connect with Hermes, and I think the same (along with food offerings, as he asked me for those) will go for Dionysus. I folded the note in a unique way—I’ve been also using this as an excuse to basically learn fucking origami shit—before putting it on my altar for Hermes. Though due to limited space, it will probably have to be shared with Dionysus.

I lit my one puny candle, asked if they were both here with me(they were) and then just thanked them both sincerely while also apologizing to Dionysus for pretty much reducing him to the only surface level things I knew him for. Anyway, I talk about how once I get that job Hermes helped me find, I’ll be spending a hefty bit of it on them. But in the meantime I would be using my pocket money for more.. frivolous shit.

I like buying shit that has no purpose but makes me smile. Sue me.

So I pull two cards then, one for Hermes and one for Dionysus. And oh, they don’t agree on my plan.

It took me a while to realize what they weren’t agreeing on. Sometimes I’ll get words or sentences, and other times I won’t. At that moment the energy around me just felt like bickering. Not incredibly tense, but there was obviously some disconnect. But also for the first time, I could feel how distinctly different Hermes and Dionysus were going to be. Hermes is stern with me. It’s only been a few days, but he is, and he’s definitely going to push me hard. Meanwhile, Dionysus was a lot more.. relaxed? Bubbly, even.

I asked, just to be sure, if they disagreed on something. They did

I asked if it was related to the job. It wasn’t.

Then there was this nagging in my head that told me to ask if it was about the money. How I wanted to spend my pocket money.

Bingo.

He’d rather I don’t do that.

I felt torn. Because yeah the stupid shit I wanted to buy would have made me happy, but Hermes felt pretty insistent that I don’t do that, and instead focus that money on upgrading the altar. Which is something I really want to do anyway. I felt so insanely scolded by him, but not in an extremely rude manner. More like how a teacher would look at you if you’re a little too loud in class.

I asked if he’d like me to buy a statue for him I’ve been eyeing. He said yes.

I asked Dionysus the same, he said no. He’d rather food offerings for the time being.

That was about an hour or so ago. And I guess it pushed me to want to share this. Nobody may see these posts, but I think it’d still be good for me to share my experiences as they come. Maybe they’ll make other newcomers feel less silly when it comes to making mistakes or fumbling around with gods.

As Hermes said to me, “trust the process.”

No silly purchases for me.

[good-beanswrites]

Hello!! I really love your writing! I like the way you write interactions between characters and how well you maintain their personalities! Sometimes, after I read these, I need to take a few moments to realize that they are not actually canon. (For me, they still are <3).

If it's not a bother, I would like to request Compliment + Yuno and any other character that you think will fit well!

Because of Yuno's past work, I always thought that the compliments her clients would give didn't truly mean much to her. At first, maybe these words gave her some warmth, but with time, she realized that these words were nothing more than superficial. And I think it would be nice to see Yuno actually being happy with the sincerity of a compliment addressed to her!

Thank you!! 

Hi hello?? This is like the greatest compliment a writer could dream of thank you??? I have been very normal about this ;__;✨ And thank you for the request, I absolutely love that concept -- it's perfect for Yuno! I think between being so used to shallow/physical compliments combined with the fact that she has a lot of self-love already, a new type of compliment could really affect her. I debated on a few characters, but ended up setting this late T1 with Kotoko

Yuno was always complimented on her smile. It was beautiful, she was told. It was pure. Sweet. Innocent. Her lipstick looked nice. Her lips in general looked nice. She was just so… nice. Yuno was glad to have such a bright smile; it hid how much she was wanted to pick up the cards from her solitaire game and throw them as hard as she could at Shidou's face.

“Don’t worry, when you get to be my age, you’ll understand,” he was saying. “But I do love your optimism…”

She stretched that smile as far as it would reach. Shidou kept talking as he stood to leave, and she answered as politely and simply as possible. Once out of sight, she allowed herself a single, dramatic eyeroll. Everyone older than her thought they knew more than her. Men always thought they knew more than her. 

But she wasn’t about to let it ruin the rest of her day. She turned her attention back to the cards, already working to forget the whole conversation. She’d nearly lost herself in new thoughts when a voice startled her at the end of the table.

“You’re strong, Yuno.”

She looked up to find Kotoko staring. She smirked at the comment -- she knew she had nothing on someone like her. The woman exuded strength, and had made more than one comment about the other prisoners’ physical fitness. Yuno flexed her right arm. “I didn’t do very well in the tournament, but thanks, I guess!”

Confusion flashed over her face. “No, not the arm wrestling thing we did the other day.”

“Oh, when we all jumped rope after dinner last week?”

“No, no. I mean… as a person.” Kotoko scooted closer. She always had a calculating look on her face, studying everyone around her. Yuno had expected to feel uncomfortable under such a gaze, (many of the other prisoners had voiced the sentiment,) but there was something almost pleasant about the way Kotoko stared. Yuno couldn’t put her finger on it.

She waved her hand dismissively. She knew the best way to accept praise was to play it down, just a bit. “Eh, sometimes it's gotta be like that, you know? I just do what I can to make it through the day, I wouldn't call that strong or anything…”

“Well I would.” Her gaze was level. “I think the way you handle everyone, never compromising on your own values, is very impressive. I’ve seen the way the others talk to you here. I can only imagine, with the line of work you’re in, what utter scumbags you’ve had to deal with on a daily basis. And yet,” she tipped her head, and Yuno suddenly understood. Kotoko looked at people as if she actually saw them. “You’ve never once raised your voice. Or scowled. Or even cried. Being sent to a place like this, after what you’ve done, it’d be enough to infuriate anyone.”

She surveyed the room, adding, “I'm still figuring this place out, but I can tell it's designed to break us. Which is why we need to stay strong. I just wanted to tell you, from one woman to another -- I'm glad to have someone like you fighting with me.”

Yuno’s smile had faded to surprise. At that moment, she did something that she hadn’t in an awfully long time. 

She blushed at the compliment. 

Maybe it was the way Kotoko said it. She wasn't the type of person to say anything she didn't mean. Maybe it was the fact that it was something new, not another comment about her lips or her laugh or her body. Or maybe it was because Yuno was tempted to believe it.

She’d heard so many voices lately, whispering how weak and helpless she must be to end up in this whole mess. The other prisoners, too, treated her according to her small build and unbroken nails. She suddenly realized how close she’d come to falling into the same mindset.

Getting a hold of herself, she made her voice light. “Well, I'd say the same to you, but I think you already know that, heh. But… thanks for saying all that.”

“Of course.” Kotoko’s smile was neither sweet nor innocent, but it was certainly honest. “I mean it.”

Yuno nodded. “I know.”

[another-dra-anew]

mekaru cuz she's neglected tbh 🥺?

im so fucking guilty of neglecting her. i neeed her to make friends so i can start spinning her in my mind with characters im already obsessed with so she can be More in my brain as her own character. mekaru pls pls just start being more authentic and love urself-

cw she has so much internalized homophobia. that’s all tho

-My identity hc for them

canon lesbian!! has a lot of comphet tho. like, a lot. like, only character to upload the “fact” they’re het to their report card. 

- Thoughts on their home life/family

ya know. i think she’s lying to herself about how much she likes kids. i don’t think she’s inclined to them but playing babysitter all the time has made her p child adverse. however admitting this means realizing she can’t gain “i am a normal respectable non-offending person who no one has any reason to have any issue with” points by raising 2.5 kids. so. yeah she just chooses to keep lying to herself

- How i feel about their canonical writing/handling

tbh i think i do a bad job portraying her comphet? buuut. to take a step back and think neutrally about things, i think that’s predominantly a result of, again, the role she plays in the story, and the fact we’re not in her head. we can judge how well i write her comphet when we get to pick her brain a bit more in ftes. id rather have a more subtle, more accurate depiction, then one that’s made inaccurate with how in your face “wow my bestie is so pretty if only girls who liked girls were real…” it is. (<- not that portrayals like that are bad/wrong, it’s abt enjoying yourself while not feeding into negative stereotypes! i just don’t really want to depict her comphet in that more lighthearted manner).

- The one thing i’d want to make canon about them

again. this is prolly just gonna be stuff which didn’t happen in canon but could’ve if things were different? w/mekaru i think if she studied psychology more and like. Dedicated herself to it she could easily rise to shsl psychiatrist level. this is canon but i think that she’s specifically interested in medicine when it comes to treatment of the human condition. she likes and grasps it all, but the history of assorted pills is where she Shines

- My number one favorite ship for them

okada my beloved <3. (obligatory: okada aimi is mekarus bestie! she’ssss. sapphic, i don’t have anything more specific/anything otherwise canon for her. she likes mekaru and thinks mekaru likes her back (she’s right), buuut. she hasn’t confessed because she thinks she’ll be rejected (she’s right, again.) she’s trying to gently tug mekaru into having a Revelation but it hasn’t been going v well for her.

- …Now everyone else i ship with them

i used to say that like. tomori was probably her gateway into her moment of Realization. i can still see that being true but i think it was less genuine desire to date and moreso.  mekaru projecting what she feels she needs to be onto tomori then seeing tomori being queer and going. hmmm. anyways tho. i kinda like her w/kurokawa but i think kurokawas just v shippable? poor okada tho i think she’d would be crying and throwing up if she found out mekaru dated a girl from hpa before dating her.

also tho i kinda think she’d be cute w/hatanami. sorry okada :(

- The thing i will NEVER ship

she is in fact still a lesbian, folks! uhh past that tho im rotating her with different girls and i don’t like the idea of her and inori like. at all for some reason

- a dynamic/relationship i wish was explored more (in canon, or in fandom)

i think it’d be neat if she. i don’t know got to have friends. id like to chat abt her interacting with tomori more!!

- thoughts on their design (appearance-wise)

im really happy with her redesign! her personality and demeanor changed from the first one she had here, but her fit didn’t change, and it really just didn’t work. also it’s kinda matchy with linujs actual beta design for rei iirc? so that’s funny

- A music-related thought- a song that reminds me of them, or what their music taste is, etc

lol. little miss perfect from write out loud/etc. uhh past the obvi one i had to list… first love/late spring - mitski comes to mind less in a. struggling with growing up and loving seriously as an adult and moreso. fear that comes with realizing ur in love with ur bestie (u are a teen with severe internalized homophobia). again apologizing for my inability to stick with what the song is actually about at least this one was semi accurate. please know i will go to war when it comes to respecting mitski as an artist and not dismissing her experiences and what she’s saying. 

[sohmiya]

Seven: Do you have headcanons about their friendship and/or romantic relationship (past or future)? What do you imagine some of their best memories are? What do you think some of Seven’s favourite things about your MC were/are?

Wild card: Tell us something about your MC! Feel free to really just roll us over with an emotional steamroller and crush the souls out of our bodies, if you’d like. (You’re also welcome to choose one of the other questions to answer!)

Development: How did you come up with your character? Is their design still evolving? How do you think they might develop through the story?

hiii thank you for the questions 🥰

seven:

one of andi’s favorite memories with seven was doing “songwriting relay” with him. andi would start writing a few lines before giving it to seven so he could write more then he’d give it back to her to do the same—basically they would take turns writing lyrics until they formed a whole song then they’d try to sing it together only for them to have completely different tunes in mind. they did this a lot when they were stressed out over writing a song for the band and they needed to keep their creativity flowing or sometimes to just goof around

relationship stage (future): they would 100% write songs about each other and would probably start doing songwriting relay again for fun. they would 100% send each other voice memos of themselves singing to each other. seven would definitely teach andi how to play guitar since she struggles to learn it by herself. also, i can imagine seven surprising andi on stage and the rest of the band would be in on it. it would also be some sort of fanservice from seven for the og fans (from back when seven hadn’t left yet) and like any other fanbase, their band also had fans who “shipped” them. seven and andi used to laugh it off but this time, seven would probably bask in the screams of the fans and even encourage it by asking andi for a kiss in front of everyone while andi blushed like hell

i think one of the things seven loved about andi was the fact that his mom likes andi. something like that 😭 i mean she’s a good kid too so it’s understandable. they also get each other in terms of family situation. sure it’s not the same but andi’s parents weren’t exactly present in her life. seven’s mom felt more like her mom than her own mom was. they definitely felt safe in each other’s presence. so yeah. i don’t want to sound lazy but their whole friendship really was built on “why do you like me?” “because you’re you” energy. there really wasn’t an exact thing about andi that made seven befriend her the same way andi can’t exactly pinpoint what about seven made her want him to be in her life always. they were simply each other’s comfort. (slightly unrelated but this is also why andi only realized her feelings for seven after he left. they were pretty inseparable so the platonic and romantic feelings often overlapped that she doesn’t know exactly when she fell in love with him and what made her fall in love with him)

wild card: i wish these were soul crushing but these are just boring facts sjdjsksks

andi used to be her stage name too but after seven left the band, she felt like she needed to “rebrand” because it felt too associated with him so now, andi’s professionally known as rei

she likes to doodle and a lot of her tattoos are her own doodles

one of andi’s hobbies is jewelry making with beads. back when mellow tone inn (her band) was literally just starting out and very short on budget, she would craft whatever she could to spruce up her outfit on stage. she made a matching bracelet for seven and to this day she’s hoping he kept it

development:

would you bully me if i said andi is my most self-insert oc yet? djdjsjsjs but yeah a part of who she is was inspired by who i am because there’s also a lot of components in canon that i could relate to on a personal level. it’s a “she is me, i am her” kind of thing but she’s definitely still a huge work in progress

andi would most likely learn to realize the potential orion sees in her to pick her as leader of the band and maybe she wouldn’t be so hard on herself. it’s not that she doesn’t know she’s talented. she knows she can do shit but she still gets hit with waves of insecurities and self-doubt. i think a part of it stems from the neglect she felt growing up. her parents weren’t very expressive of their pride for her—if they’re even proud of her—so she had to constantly do the work and build herself up. once this bitch starts believing in herself, it’s over for everyone

[sometimesrosy]

Hello Rosy! I feel a bit ashamed about this. I’m 26 and my partner is 29. We’ve been together for almost 5 years and living together for almost 3. We just bought an apartment with the help of our family, and we’ve still got a lot of things to get done and sort on the house. Now we have to be extremely careful with money, as people in our family won’t be able to help us for a while if the need arises. Before, we never failed any rent of any bill, and we still went out to eat, go to the cinema, buy some stuff we didn’t need, etc. We were already careful, but we could spend a bit without dooming us for next month. However, we have very simple jobs. I have a university degree and worked close to my field for a while, but it was always part time or without a contract. I now have a full time job as a receptionist, which isn’t a dream but makes do with the minimum wage. Partner had a really bad job when we started dating, but he’s been looking for better and better and has been founding them, until he settled where he is now. The pay is slightly higher than mine, but with taxes he brings home less. We’ve talked about getting better jobs and I’ve been sending out CVs, but no one calls me. As for him, he’s content where he is. This is where my shaming comes in: my work colleagues have partners and husbands that work for big industrial companies, which is what our city is filled with. Even if they don’t have good positions there, they are already paid much higher at entry level, but most of those jobs are by shifts. If my partner was willing to work by shifts, which is a massive headache, I realize, he’s make approximately 300€ or even 400€ more. Before, it didn’t bother me so much, but now it does because it really makes a difference. I could apply to those jobs but to those I definitely wouldn’t be called. We’ve argued about this before, he says shifts are out of the question so he can be with me, but I’m frustrated because I can’t find a better job and have been doing side stuff to get some more and neglecting myself. I want to make sure we have enough for rent as I’m scared to death of not being able to pay. I want us to be able to still go out to eat once in a while, I want him to be able to buy his booster cards for a fantasy card game he loves. Eventually he’d like to start a family in a few years, but I’ve told him I’m uncomfortable having kids with the financial instability we’re in. My colleagues have a good life and their kids are “safe” due to the job their partners have. One colleague even comments how her husband doesn’t like his job but he won’t let go of it because it allows him to have the lifestyle he wants, and he feels fulfilled in his free time. Right now my life feels really hollow, I don’t fancy my job but I don’t like where everything else is either. But I don’t want to be selfish to the point of asking my partner to get a more demanding job when he doesn’t want to and when my colleague’s partners do it and don’t like it. How can I get off this mindset?

Capitalism is an insidious game. There's really no way to win, because it's never enough.

Not to mention, just because you have a job that pulls in more money doesn't mean you are 'safe.'

There's no such thing. Stable industries fail. You can be let go at any moment. The things they tell you about what you will get when you reach a certain level of monetary success aren't really true.

Right now, you're comparing yourself to other people who are in different situations. You're a receptionist while they are probably farther along in their careers, right? You're min wage, and they're making more.

I mean, you're lucky. You have a good boyfriend and you have a home that you own. You do have some success and some security but you're not looking at what you have, but what capitalism has made you think you should want. Sure you want to be 'more secure,' but what are you willing to give up to have it? How do you win this game? I don't think the answer is to force your boyfriend to get a different job. You may want to plan for your OWN career to move forward. Where can you go with the credentials you already have? What else do you need to do to move to the next step?

Or the other way to change things is definitely to change your mindset and be thankful for what you have, like I said before, a home a boyfriend, lots of possibility for the future, time to spend together or do cool things.

I think housing can be really expensive and it can be stressful to keep up that financial burden. So how do you lessen that stress? Learn to be zen. Not easy but it does help. Earn more money. Not easy and can be a sacrifice. Spend less money. This actually isn't always that hard although it's definitely a sacrifice and you need to cut out things you are used to. Rent out a room in your apartment or take in a roommate? Sure it's not ideal, but it might help with stress and give you more leeway. Sometimes you need to give up the expensive house although I don't think I suggest that for you, but in the past I've found that getting a cheaper apartment can make things better.

I'm kind of throwing out different possibilities though I don't really have a definitive answer. I spent my 20s and most of my 30s in nyc where rent and cost of living is high and my earning were never a match, so I do understand. I'm also a bit disillusioned with capitalism and the idea that if you work hard you can make it. Because it's a rigged system. So I want to point that out. You might be seeing lots of examples of where it works so you think you should have it too, but what do you have to do to get it?

[aemoglobin]

i watched a lot of album unboxing and photocard organizing videos today...it was fun. i’m living vicariously through people who clearly still live with their parents and aren’t worrying about rent or utilities lmfao cuz there is No way you are affording this level of hobby dedication on a minimum wage job

sad i don’t have the time/energy to do pc trades/sales or in-depth organization but then again, i am very VERY casual about this in comparison to even the self-professed ‘casual’ ytubers lol. maybe if i ever get a desk and some more bookcases or shelving, i can indulge a little bit...as a treat. i mean i have a lot of supplies left over from when i was into journaling and those translate over fairly well into packaging for trading/selling. i would just have to re-dl insta and retailor it for pc trades/selling....which i don’t really want to do...but i COULD, if i get bored enough.

also found that more people are multis than stantwt would have you believe. a lot of the ytubers i watched had multiple biases, were buying/trading for multiple groups, and listened to a variety of groups. i’m currently trying to find more ytubers who are primarily into ggs and not bgs u.u;; but it was interesting to see! i guess in my corner of stantwt i’ve only really seen people who have one or two groups they’re into vs these ytubers/insta users who collect for A Lot of different groups. like i only limit myself bc i’m minimum wage lol not wasting $500+/mo on rent and utilities really broadens your hobby horizons, huh

a couple of the videos made me realize that some of the inclusions/cards i got in my albums are like...Popular or Heavily Wanted and they’re just sitting in my binders lmfao......but again i don’t have the time/energy to get involved with that aspect of the community. and i will cherish my pc dupes even if i don’t like having them in spirit.

i am mentally pronouncing 95% of these names wrong lmfaoooooo i knew my korean was bad but i didn’t realize it was This bad. that’s what i get for never watching actual content where they talk and say names out loud and only watching mvs. sue me i hate the editing style and lack of english captions for most of the extra video content available for my groups! i can’t hear the right way to say his name if it’s pronounced completely different from how it’s spelled and i have to Guess based on dialogue i can barely catch because everyone talks so fast  (17 i am looking directly at you)!!! not that i think Ye Average White Girl Ytuber is saying their names with 100% accuracy but y’know. 

i don’t even really have a wishlist of pcs outside of loona ones. i only really like olivia and kim lip so i’d be in trouble lol and i don’t want to spend money on cards.....i have enough problems with buying things i don’t need as it is lol

[lilfishiefigureskates]

Skate Canada Review

Men:

Ilia Malinin (USA) Total Score 301.82 - Congrats to Ilia for qualifying for the Grand Prix Final! Despite the challenge of going to back to back competitions Ilia had no problem with securing his second gold medal of the Grand Prix series. Technically he preformed better than he did at Skate America, but I think he was definitely feeling a bit tired, and I think he was struggling especially in the middle section of his free program. His short program has grown on me a lot even tho it’s literally the ugliest costume I’ve ever seen. Also, I’ve been hearing that this was the last time he will be competing in his current free skate costume which is a tragedy, because it’s the best costume he’s had and really don’t see him getting a better one. I think his PCS score was too high.

Shun Sato (Japan) Total Score 261.12 - I think it’s such a slay to skate to Ladies in Lavender when you’re not a lady. He absolutely slayed his short program, but he needs to get his step sequence up from a level 2, because that’s bogging his score down a bit. He struggled a bit in the free program, so I am looking forward to seeing it once he gets it clean. I really liked both of his costumes and I like the new hair color. #FurecocoTrioForever

Junhwan Cha (South Korea) Total Score 260.31 - I am so happy that Jun made it onto the podium!!!! However, I’m going to be honest when I say I’m not really vibing with his programs this season. The Imagine Dragons short program makes no sense to me, and I don’t really like the Latina lady screaming at me in his free program, but his blouse is beautiful, so I will say that I like his free better than his short. There’s lots of room to grow in his free program, and he only had 2 combos, so we def need to change that. His Ina Bauer was great, but he finished a little late on the music. IDK why the judges didn’t give the PCS skills he deserved. He was robbed.

Sota Yamamoto (Japan) Total Score 257 - I love Sota so much and I wish there was four spots on the podium cause I wanted him to be on the podium so badly!!! I love the purple shirt in the short program, and overall the short was very solid. I also really liked his free program. At first I thought it was gonna be a bit boring but the music did a great job at building through the program. I’m absolutely gutted that he fell on his 4T. He also needs to work on not telegraphing his jumps as much.

Vladimir Litvintsev (Azerbaijan) Total Score 222.9 - I had no idea who he was but then I realized that he was the fool who skated to the Lion King while wearing a tiger print t-shirt lol. The Game of Thrones short program was pretty solid. Didn’t love the Nutcracker EPIC version tho, especially the singing at the end. Keep it all Xmas music or don’t use Xmas music. I think he ran out of steam a bit in the second half of his program, and he needs more choreography cause right now he just has a lot of crossovers.

Gabriele Frangipani (Italy) Total Score 222.57 - Who needs Daniel Grassl when we got this guy! He was giving me Adam Driver vibes, and I think it’s cause they have similar noses. Tbh I don’t really remember much from his programs, and they just felt a bit meh to me, but on his defense I was half asleep during his free program. Hopefully he’ll be less meh at the NHK trophy.

Aleksa Rakic (Canada) Total Score 222.49 - Having this guy as the highest scoring Canadian was not on my bingo card. He seems to struggle a bit on his 3A and overall i thought his jump technique was kinda ugly. Overall he had pretty consistently low GOEs on his jumping elements and he didn’t perform well. Lots of room to grow at least.

Jason Brown (USA) Total Score 218. 75 - My beloved. On the technical level, he did not have the best skates, but his overall skating skills remain unmatched. Jason usually isn’t competing this early in the season, so hopefully he just needs more time to get into the groove. I am not really vibing with free music. It was very one note and a little boring ngl. I did like the cartwheel tho.

Stephen Gogolev (Canada) Total Score 216. 84 - Had a pretty good short program but fell apart during the free. Needed more speed and energy, and he needed to EMOTE! He kinda just looked tired

Mark Gordonitsky (Israel) Total Score 213.31 - Meh.

Luc Econmides (France) Total Score 211.88 - IDk why but I always forget what he looks like and then I get surprised when I see him and he looks like he does. Interstellar program was interesting with the head twitching at the beginning and the fake writing at the end but my man was ACTING so I will take it. Had a super scary axis on his 3A in the short and on the 3Lz in the free.

Roman Sadovsky (Canada) WD - I guess he tweaked his back before the event started which is why he wasn’t doing any jumps during practice. But luckily, the injury should have no long lasting impact. I feel so bad for this guy, I feel like he always has the worst luck.

Women:

Kaori Sakamoto (Japan) Total Score 201.21 - I love Kaori so much. She is definitely pushing herself with both of her programs this season, and I just don’t think she feels comfortable yet in either of them. The short was solid, but she did have some unexpected trouble in the free. She looked a little tired, but that’s okay cause we are early in the season, so there’s still time to build up stamina. The blonde hair is starting to grow on me and I love both of the costumes.

Rino Matsuike (Japan) Total Score 192.16 - Talk about the COMEBACK QUEEN. I love the Moulin Rogue program so it better be clean at Finlandia. Her free program was honestly the highlight of the weekend. She had a GORGEOUS spiral and overall excellent skating skills and quality of movement. She slayed.

Hana Yoshida (Japan) Total Score 191.37 - I really liked her short program. She just had a little boo boo with the step out on the combo, and I think she could use more speed during her stsq. I really liked her dress for the free program, but I did not like the mesh gloves. It’s a shame she went down on the 3Lz.

Kimmy Repond (Switzerland) Total Score 191.07 - IDK why but I did not expect her to do as well as she did. Idk how tall she is, but she looks super tall, and her long limbs just looked a bit awkward. I’m pretty sure she ended a smidge behind her music in both the short and the free. I thought she had really nice spins tho.

Madeline Schizas (Canada) Total Score 190.04 - Dear Maddie, there is only one Lion King program and it belong to Wakaba. I did like the Danse Macabre free tho. I’m glad she went with red for the costume instead of black. She was one of my highlights of the weekend, cause I was just so happy that she skated two clean programs in front of her home crowd!!!This was probably the best I’ve seen her perform.

Alysa Liu (USA) Total Score 187.69 - Miss girl kinda got hit hard with the URs, but she still had a great return to the Grand Prix! I really liked both of her programs, especially the free. I think she needs to build up her stamina a smidge, but I’m just so happy to she her back it makes by heart flutter.

Elyce Lin-Gracey (USA) Total Score 182.37 - I wanted her to do good so badly. She almost got the same exact scores that she got at Skate America, so at least she is consistent. But she is just a lil’ cutie and she just needs time to develop and grow! Props to her for competing back to back.

Kaiya Ruiter (Canada) Total Score 162.32 - I liked the short program, but I didn’t realize the free was a Wonder Woman program until we got to the end of the program and the electric guitars were doing the Wonder Woman thing. Had a couple of URs and a two footed landing. But she was very cute, and very engaging.

Ekaterina Kurakove (Poland) Total Score 162.07 - ‘Twas a rough short program. Stepped out on the lutz and it was under-rotated and she didn’t get her combo. She was also pretty slow on the spins. However, she kept on emoting throughout the whole performance. I’m not vibing with the Cats program. Her first mistake was picking the movie version. Her second mistake was wearing the cat ears. Just felt very juniorish to me. I also think there were too many music cuts.

Sara-Maude Dupuis (Canada) Total Score 160.46 - Couldn’t get her combo in the short. Had a crazy axis on the 3Lz in the free and was just getting a lot of URs in general. Overall her jumps were just looking a bit scary. She wore a green dress tho and I thought she slayed

Seoyeong Wi (South Korea) Total Score 140.85 - Got hit hard with the URs. I really liked both of her programs and I thought her costumes were gorgeous, but she just didn’t perform well to them. She really ran out of gas at the end of the free program.

Yelim Kim - (South Korea) Total Score 136.14 - This honestly made me so sad. She is such a beautiful skater but the jumps are just not there. I guess she is recovering from back surgery?!?!?!? Idk, I just really don’t want to watch her perform another disaster program.

Pairs:

Deanna Stellato-Dudek / Maxime Deschamps (Canada) Total Score 197.33 - They’re obviously not in top shape yet, but like I’ve been saying, we’re still early in the season so no need to freak out. Did not really vibe with the short program. The heavy breathing really turned me off, and I’ve learned that this cover was used for 50 Shades of Grey, which turned me off even more. I do like the free a lot better, but IDK what the theme is, or what it’s about. They have a shared dog and it’s super cute.

Ekaterina Geynish / Dmitrii Chigirev (Uzbekistan) Total Score 189.65 - I did not like the weird opening movements in the short. A little trouble with the throw jumps but pretty good overall synchro.

Anastasia Golubeva / Hektor Giotopoulos Moore (Australia) Total Score 186.14 - I hated the music change in the short. And they copied Kao’s free program for their free program lol.

Dance:

Piper Gilles / Paul Poirier (Canada) Total Score 214.84 - The costumes in the rhythm slayed, but his backless suit in the free traumatized me. I get the what they were going for but I don’t think it was executed well. They are so fast, and they are both excellent performers

Marjorie Lajoie / Zachary Lagha (Canada) Total Score 199.9 - I liked the in synch lip syncing, but I did not like it when they FELL! They are so fast on the twizzles and they serve so much face. I’ve heard people don’t like the Sound of Silence free, but I was vibing with it.

Evgeniia Lopareva / Geoffrey Brissaud (France) Total Score 194.25 - Look they were great, but I just don’t vibe with them and IDK why. Rasputin rhythm dance was insane but in a good way. Maybe they’ll grow on me.

[marcyvampire]

i don't know if you do platonic yanderes , but I want to request how platonic yandere gambit would be with a darling

BLACK SHEEP.

pairings ⸺ Yandere! Remy LeBeau x Mutant! Reader. (Platonic Fic)

¿Request? Yes!

This is a Headcanon!

warnings ⸺ mdni! Dark themes, violence/death, blood, insolation, invasion of privacy, scars, delusion, Angst, ¿OOC Gambit? Idk, fights, Disturbing Content, Unhealthy Obsession, Gaslight, Mental Illness, Corruption, Isolation, Paranoia, Manipulation.

sinopsis ⸺ Marked by a past of solitude and betrayal, his affection for you is a poisonous blend of devotion and control, always teetering on the edge between tenderness and obsession. For Remy, you are everything, his only family, and losing you would mean his ruin... so he will do whatever it takes to keep you by his side, even if it means locking you in a cage made of his possessive love.

A/N ── English is not my first language—Spanish is—Thank you for placing the order! I really appreciate your trust and enthusiasm. Your support means a lot to me, and I’m excited to work on it. If you have any specific ideas or details you'd like to include, please feel free to let me know.

Yandere! Remy LeBeau who... actually knew who you were before you even exchanged a glance. Charles Xavier, Beast, and Logan talked about you often, in conversations filled with worry and caution. Your destructive powers had isolated you, and it was a tragic accident that took your parents' lives while they tried to protect you from yourself. That story resonated with him. A broken soul, chained to a gift that society did not understand nor could accept. Remy was always drawn to broken things; they were like pieces of a puzzle he needed to complete. The first time he saw you, hidden among the bushes in the garden, covered in dirt and fear, his heart beat faster. He knew that the moment he reached you, he would never let you go.

Yandere! Remy LeBeau who... was not intimidated by the hurtful words you threw at him, desperate attempts to make him leave, to protect him from you and what you were capable of. “Don’t touch me!” you shouted, with tears that dared not fall from your eyes. But he did not move. Instead, he smiled softly, that mischievous, almost playful smile that hid a dark depth that few could see. “Cher, I’m not going anywhere. You don’t scare me. In fact, I think you and I are more alike than you think.” The words sounded soft, almost hypnotic, as if they were designed to disarm you. And, little by little, they began to work.

Yandere! Remy LeBeau who... slipped into your life without you realizing, appearing in the most mundane moments, when you tried to find a bit of peace in the chaos of your existence. At first, he did it subtly: he listened as you lamented about your family and your life before your mutation, his jacket over your shoulders when the cold hit you, or staying with you in that corner. He made sure you saw him as someone trustworthy, someone who wouldn’t back away out of fear. But always, in the background, there was something more. A glimmer in his eyes that told you his presence was not merely accidental, that he was watching.

Yandere! Remy LeBeau who... used his story to soften you, to connect with you on that deeper level that always seemed inaccessible. He knew you were broken inside, hurt by the loss of your parents and consumed by fear of your own power, so little by little, he began to open up. He told you how he too had been an outsider, an orphaned boy raised on the streets of New Orleans. How he had been rejected even by those who took him in, feared for his own gift, a gift he could not control either. “Tu sais, I wasn’t always like this, chérie,” he would say with a melancholic smile, as his fingers played with a deck of cards. “Everything I am now is because I had to learn to survive. In this world, if you don’t have anyone, you are nothing.” And with every story he shared, you felt the wall you had built begin to crack. Remy, with his soft words and warm gaze, was slowly digging into that shell you had fought so hard to maintain.

Yandere! Remy LeBeau who... made you feel less alone, but never in the way you desired. He knew when you were about to break, and there he was, holding you before you could fall. “You can’t get rid of me so easily, chérie,” he whispered as his hands found yours, strong but gentle. He made you feel safe, but there was something suffocating about his constant presence, something you could not name.

Yandere! Remy LeBeau who... began to take up more space in your life, even in your most painful moments. When your nightmares woke you up at night, sweaty and echoing with the explosions that never stopped resonating in your mind, he was there. You didn’t ask how he knew you were awake, nor why he was always so close. But his touch, his soft words, wrapped around you until the terror dissipated, only for another kind of unease to grow in its place. “You’re never going to be alone again, I promise you,” he said, almost like a vow.

Yandere! Remy LeBeau who... started to make you doubt everything. When you tried to pull away, when you wanted to put distance between your destructive powers and those around you, he whispered in your ear: “No one else is going to understand you like I do, chérie. No one else can bear what you carry inside.” His words sank into you like sweet poison, until the idea of being without him began to seem more terrifying than the idea of destroying everything around you. Who else could face your power? Who else would keep loving you after everything you had lost?

Yandere! Remy LeBeau who... carefully decided who you could associate with, selecting only those he considered “safe.” He encouraged you to get close to Jubilee, with her sparkling and carefree energy, because he knew that she posed no threat to his control. “Elle est bonne pour ti, chérie. She has a good heart,” he would say when you saw her, and little by little you convinced yourself that he just wanted what was best for you. Ororo was also welcome in your little circle; her calm, motherly nature made him feel that she was not a dangerous influence. And of course, Rogue was always nearby, though you could never shake the feeling of tension between her and Remy. He justified her presence by saying they were old friends, but there was something in the way he looked at her when you were around that made Rogue keep her distance, while Morph, Bobby, and others like them were completely off-limits.

Yandere! Remy LeBeau who... whispered words of comfort in your ear when your darkest memories suffocated you. “It wasn’t your fault, chérie. Your parents didn’t know what they were doing, but I did. I would never leave you.” And though those words should have eased you, there was something in his tone that made you feel trapped, as if there were no escape from the invisible cage he was building around you.

Yandere! Remy LeBeau who... didn’t want you to associate with people who could “corrupt” your view of the world. Bobby tried to talk to you once, casually, while you were in the kitchen. His easy smile and relaxed nature made you laugh, something that didn’t happen often. But it wasn’t long before Remy noticed. “What was he doing with you, huh?” His tone was as smooth as a knife's edge, his eyes burning with something you hadn’t seen before. “I don’t like you getting close to him.” And though you knew that wasn’t true, you felt the coldness of his control wrap around you. The situation exploded when Remy and Bobby ended up in a violent fight, sharp words and barely veiled threats exchanged until Jean and Scott had to separate them. You, however, saw him as a friend, someone who could help you forget for a while how dangerous you were. But over time, even Bobby began to avoid you, and the few friendships you had dwindled down to those Remy approved of.

Yandere! Remy LeBeau who... enjoyed the simple things with you, those that seemed harmless on the surface. He liked to take you to shopping malls, where he could walk beside you and make sure you felt safe, but always under his watchful eye. “Choose whatever you want, ma belle. Whatever it is, it’s yours.” He let you pick out clothes, books, little decorations for your room. But even in those moments, there was an underlying control. The options he offered you were carefully selected; he made you feel you had freedom, but it was always within the limits he set.

Yandere Remy LeBeau who... loved to see you smile, and one of his favorite ways to achieve that was by playing board games with you. He was charming, relaxed, and playful during those moments. “Allez, chérie, you’re going to have to try harder if you want to beat me,” he challenged you while a carefree laugh filled the room. Those were the moments that made you doubt, that made you think that maybe Remy just wanted what was best for you, that his closeness was a good thing. When you laughed, when for a second you forgot your destructive powers, he looked at you with devotion. But behind those crimson eyes, there was an insatiable hunger, a need for control.

Yandere! Remy LeBeau who... took his time decorating your room, making sure everything was to your liking, but always with his touch. “It’s important that you feel comfortable, mon coeur,” he would say as he placed a soft lamp by your bed or adjusted the curtains so that the light came in just as you liked it. But even here, there was a shadow of possession. The things he chose for you always reflected his own taste, his vision of who you should be. It was not just your space; it was a reflection of his influence over you.

Yandere! Remy LeBeau who... could not stand the idea of anyone else entering your intimate life. The thought of you falling in love with someone else filled him with a silent fury. “If you ever find someone,” he said in one of those moments where he seemed casual, almost brotherly, “it has to be someone I approve of. Someone who will take care of you like I would. Not just anyone can be with you, chérie.” And even though he said it with a smile, there was something in his tone that chilled you. You couldn’t imagine Remy sharing that control with anyone else.

Yandere Remy LeBeau who... as time passed, that possibility grew even more distant. The few attempts you made to get close to someone were sabotaged before they could blossom. Remy made sure that any connection broke before it could grow strong. He would tell you it was for your safety, that your power made you too dangerous to be with anyone. “They can’t handle what you are, mon amour. But I can. I always will.”

Yandere! Remy LeBeau who... hated it when you rebelled against his control, when you tried to challenge him and do things your way. The arguments began with soft words and gentle warnings, but soon intensified when you refused to obey. One night, you tried to go out alone to practice your powers, tired of feeling constantly watched. But before you could get too far, Remy intercepted you. His hand gripped your arm tightly, his eyes shining with a mix of fear and rage. “You’re not going out alone, chérie, not like this.” His grip was rougher than you expected from him, and you tried to break free, but it was in vain. “You don’t understand how dangerous it is. I won’t let you take that risk, I can’t.” His words were severe, his tone more dominant than usual. But when he saw you trembling, when he saw the fear and frustration in your eyes, his hardness faded, replaced by a desperate plea.

Yandere! Remy LeBeau who... immediately apologized after those episodes of harsh control. He hugged you tightly, his trembling hands, as if he feared you might disappear at any moment. “I’m sorry, ma belle,” he murmured against your hair, his voice filled with remorse. “I didn’t mean to scare you, but I can’t lose you. Not after all we’ve been through. You’re all I have.” In those moments, when his hardness crumbled and only a broken man remained inside, vulnerable to the fear of losing the only person who meant something to him, it was hard for you to push him away. His need for you, that connection that made you feel like you were his anchor, enveloped you, confusing you. Was it love? Was it protection? Or something much darker?

Yandere! Remy LeBeau who... never let conversations about other guys last long. If he saw you interested, he subtly changed the subject or found a way to make you feel guilty for even thinking of opening up to someone else. “Personne ne te comprendra jamais comme je le fais.” His words became more intense over time, more definitive. The world outside, he told you, was too cruel, too fragile for you. But he, he was your refuge, the only constant.

Yandere! Remy LeBeau who... felt deeply affected the first time you went on a mission with the X-Men. He knew this day would come, but he wasn’t ready for the unbearable anxiety that invaded him. “I know you can take care of yourself, but I can’t help but worry,” he had told you before you left, with a carefree tone that hid how much he hated the idea of you exposing yourself to any danger. But when you returned, injured, all trace of his usual charm disappeared. His gaze burned with a fury and desperation you hadn’t seen before. “Merde, chérie! What did they do to you? Who did this to you?” He enveloped you in his arms protectively, almost suffocating, as his fingers traced the cuts and bruises on your skin. You could feel the tension in his body, as if he were on the verge of exploding.

Yandere! Remy LeBeau who... went mad when he saw you hurt, his mind filled with images of what could have happened if you hadn’t returned. “Je ne veux pas te perdre,” he said in a hoarse voice, almost inaudible, as he held you tightly. “You are my family. You have no idea what I would do if something happened to you.” There was something dark and disturbing in his words, in the intensity with which he held you close, but you couldn’t help but feel a strange sense of comfort in his desperation. It was as if, in his twisted and possessive love, Remy was capable of doing anything to keep you safe.

Yandere! Remy LeBeau who... did not allow his possessiveness to ruin the moments of tranquility you shared. On quiet nights, when you lay in bed, emotionally exhausted, he was there, sitting in a nearby chair, watching you with that mix of devotion and control. “Dors bien, ma belle. I’ll be here to take care of you.” And though those words should have comforted you, sometimes you felt as if those invisible walls he had built around you closed in a little more each night.

Yandere! Remy LeBeau who... always found a way to soften his behavior after moments like those. He took you to quiet places, away from the tensions of the mutant world, to strolls through the mall or parks where there was no immediate danger. He loved to see you laugh, as if that could erase any trace of the darkness that lay between you. “Look, ma chérie, this is how it should always be, right? No worries, no fears.” And in those moments, when it seemed like it was just you and him, you could forget, at least for a while, how invasive his presence had become.

Yandere! Remy LeBeau who... never let you forget that, for him, you were family. He constantly reminded you how alone he had been before meeting you, how you had filled a void in his life that no one else could fill. “I don’t know what I would do without you, ma chérie. If you ever drift away from me, if I lose you...” He never finished the sentence, but the weight of those words needed no ending. It was a warning, a reminder that his love for you was so intense that any possibility of losing you pushed him to the brink of despair.

Yandere! Remy LeBeau who... had a special way of softening his manipulations, of making you feel that everything he did was out of love, for your well-being. After a fight, he would always come back with a repentant smile, hugging you and telling you he never meant to hurt you. “Je suis désolé,” he whispered, with a tenderness in his voice that left you speechless. “But, mon coeur, you don’t understand. I can’t live without you. You are my family, the only thing I have.” And though you knew there was something unhealthy in all of this, his words pierced deep into your heart. You had lost so much, and while his love was suffocating, it was also the closest you had to feeling loved.

Yandere! Remy LeBeau who... looked at you as if you were a broken work of art, one he was determined to rebuild, but only in his image. And, in his mind, he did it out of love.

A/N ─── I love you, Remy, you're divine, I don't care what anyone says. Now, I adore Remy, he's charismatic and handsome, what more can I say? I love writing in French. Although I’ve had some less pleasant experiences with the language and culture, in Remy's case, French sounds almost like a caress. It's part of his essence!

He has that irresistible charm that makes him stand out, not just for his looks but for his heart full of complexities. Who wouldn’t fall in love with someone who, despite living in the shadows, always tries to bring light to others?

If you have any problems knowing the meaning of a phrase in French, tell me in the comments and I will be happy to answer you.

Don't hesitate to ask me anything if you want.

take a bath!

[tarotbykim]

hello! P 🐞 here, thank u so much for the reading! half way through reading it i began to cry, especially on the parts where you mentioned how i felt nobody would be there for me and my view of myself in general. i realize that i do have this hurt in me and when i think about it, many reasons as to why i may feel this way come up in my head but they all come up in a sort of jumbled mess if that makes sense? i cannot seem to get clear on it at all. if possible, could i please have another reading on what could have caused this hurt that made me internalize it to this level and possible steps i can take to heal from it? only if it’s okay, if not i totally understand! thank you again!

Hi P! 🐞

I 100% understand the reading must’ve been very overwhelming, and that there are additional questions you have now. I’ve gone through the cards again and quite a lot of them came out, so I’m not mentioning each of them specifically (will drop them in the tags, in case you’re interested), but rather I’ll give a summary down here.

Before diving in, I do want to mention that the tarot is a great guide to find more clarity, but in no way is it equal to professional (mental) health support and/or therapy. So if there’s a part of you that tells you it might be helpful to consult a professional to help you along that healing journey, I would always advise it.

What seems to have caused the pain is that in your past - most likely in your formative years - you’ve had to endure a lot of change. It was a very tumultuous period in your life without a firm ground to stand on. It caused a lot of overwhelm & anxiety for you, and although there were people there to help / make the changes work (rather efficiently, even), somehow you’ve had to resort to self-discipline & you developed a fear of not living up to the expectations that were put on you during this time.

You’ve internalized this feeling because there was nothing, during that period, that you could do to make it better. You’ve probably clung onto the belief that fulfilling those expectations & being self-disciplined were ways to keep on going. It felt like you against the world, and that feeling has stuck with you since.

At this moment, you’re either taking too much time for introspection and reflection (isolating yourself), or too little (trying to ignore the issues that are there). It’s very important you find a balance in this. Choose practices that help you feel connected to yourself, use them, and at the same time keep investing in your social circles too. You don’t have to be out there all the time, but as was suggested earlier, don’t isolate yourself completely. The basis of finding this balance is self-care. Make sure your needs are met. Rest. This may be uncomfortable at first if you are not used to it, but it’s absolutely key. If your needs are left unmet, your mind & body will not have the space for growth & healing. (PS. If you send me a DM, I can send you a few helpful resources regarding taking care of your needs. Think about it ♥️)

Then last but not least, it will take effort to choose this path. Expect setbacks, and hard work. However, the deck definitely assures you it’s the right path to take.

Good luck 💪✨♥️♥️

-Kim

(PS. This reading is free, and I hope you've found value in it! In case you wish to sponsor my work you can buy me a coffee! Of course, this is not mandatory nor expected! I also really appreciate any constructive feedback!💫)

[kypossumlady]

My goal this year is to stop demeaning myself for literally everything lol. I want to stop apologizing for being sensitive and having giant feelings. I want to stop apologizing for needing extra help sometimes. I want to get help from medical professionals without anxiously canceling every single time. I think I’m doing a good job so far. Quitting my job was a good thing for my mental health, and I’m sticking by that.

Girl crush has burnt out so fast. She got so weird, and it just aided in Tony and I feeling like she’s a giant ass red flag.

Quitting my birth control was like a 50/50 decision. On one hand the side effects that wrecked my body are gone. On the other hand, my period comes full speed and my moods are real fucking insane. I was thinking today that maybe the autism was kept semi-hidden because of (extreme masking) the hormones. Idk if that even makes sense but, still.

I don’t like talking about my autism because I feel like it makes people perceive me as attention seeking. That’s weird right? But talking about it has helped me realize so much about myself. The breakdowns I had as a kid where I would lose my absolute mind and my parents didn’t know what to do so they yelled back. (I don’t feel anything negative towards them about it. They are on the spectrum too. ) Preferring to be by myself when I played. Rocking all the time lmao. It’s so funny to think. My parents used to see me rocking in the car and they’d say “she’s just bopping”. I love/hate the fact that they didn’t know I was autistic and just thought I was quirky.

My goal this year is to move more and be outside more. My body is having a really hard time with chronic pain and I’m trying to combat it. Soft movements and stretches, resting, hydrating, listening to my body, and meds of course. Hopefully I can get my medical card for weed and it can help some too. I really don’t want to be on pain pills. I’ve not gone to the doctor for the pain I’ve felt forever because I’m scared I’ll be seen as a drug seeker. Which is silly but that’s my brain.

People tell me a lot that I’d be a good mom. And I think that’s kinda true. But the reason I don’t want kids (besides the responsibility part?) is I struggled my whole life with having giant feelings and not knowing what to do with them. They physically made me sick and made me ache. I know itd be different because I could help the kid but it seems too much. It’s just not for me.

I want to talk about the wedding more than I am. I need to get out of my head that I’m this giant burden when I’m not even talking that much.

A funny thing about my brain that I find hard to articulate is how edibles really level me out and make me functional. Sometimes it makes me chill. But I slept until 8 today, got up and chored, went back to sleep at 10, got up at 2 and went for a hike/walk, ate some lunch, napped again from 4-7, and did the barn chores. Then I ate 500mg of edibles- did a little laundry, gathered trash, vacuumed, did litterboxes, swept upstairs, and did some self care all within 2 hours. Some days I take 100mg and can function like a soccer mom on a school night, but some days like recently, it takes more just to mellow me out to function.

I want to find a way to document how my brain sounds and I have some of it saved on TikTok. Some days it’s like a crowd of people all talking at once, and while they’re talking, you hear at different times more prominent things. And during those talkings, a song is playing and it’s somehow loud. It sounds like word vomit but that’s a good way of explaining it.

[zoe-oneesama]

I'm interested in the Lila exposed au about your akumasona. What's that?

For those who don’t know my OC (self insert) akumasona Zoe Rapporte (The Enchanted Florist), but her family owns a flower shop that is pretty successful - think “This florist does the arrangements at the Grand Paris and for High Profile Events” - so she’s mildly acquainted with Adrien from some of those events. Maybe not friends, but like when you frequent a coffee shop so much that you learn all the staff’s name and they all remember you.

So Lila is not above dropping lots of money to sell her lies (hello Gabriel Collection Fox Necklace) and one of her lies to her mother is that Adrien is her boyfriend. And what boyfriend doesn’t send his lovely girlfriend flowers, especially one as well off as Adrien Agreste? And really, as long as his name is on the card when her mother accepts them at the door, that’s all that matters, right?

So Zoe takes note that once a week this prissy girl with a bizarre hairstyle comes in to place a rather pricey bouquet order under Adrien’s name and has it delivered to the same address that’s on the credit card bill - doesn’t take a genius to figure out this delusional weirdo is pretending a celebrity is sending her flowers weekly. It’s a little strange because Zoe could’ve sworn she saw on TV that this chick had done photo shoots with Adrien before and based on his Instagram she was his classmate, so it’s kinda concerning that she’s going this far to burrow her way into his life. Still, she’s dropping quite a bit of coin and it’s really none of Zoe’s business, yeah?

But then imagine there’s a class event - maybe a dance, maybe a teacher’s appreciation week, maybe an alumni reunion - that needs our favorite class representative and her deputy to order a large amount of flowers. And Adrien, ever desperate to do his part, takes it upon himself to help with the budget. And maybe Nino decides to come for no particular reason lol.

So the four walk into the Rapporte Flower Shop and Adrien is so excited to introduce his friends to one of the familiar faces from his VIP world. And he’s just so exuberant as he brags about his friends and is so wholesome and different from the put together boy Zoe would briefly meet at those stuffy events that this surge of sisterly affection makes her completely forget her usual “none of my business” attitude. She’s got to let him know what it going on behind his back, especially if there’s a chance that he has no idea what kind of girl “Mlle. Rossi at the fifth story walk up” was.

And who knows? Maybe this was a misunderstanding, a weird arrangement Adrien had with his secret girlfriend to make sure she gets exactly the type of bouquet she wants? Zoe recons she’s had stranger requests. Welp, no better way to clear the air than to just ask.

“Hey Adrien, you know there’s this weird girl that comes in once a week and has flowers delivered to herself under your name?”

Adrien paused in his rant about Nino’s music mixing skills (having already left Alya puffing her chest in pride and Marinette a red puddle of embarrassed goo) to stare blankly at Zoe. “I beg your pardon?”

“Oh yeah.” Zoe leaned into her palm, looking way too relaxed considering what she’d just dropped on him. “For, like, the two months at least. Always has us address her card ‘Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder, Ma Belle, from Your Loving Boyfriend Adrien Agreste’.”

“What the heck?!” Alya exclaimed from beside Nino who’s jaw was dropped in disbelief. “That’s crazy messed up. Adrien doesn’t even have a girlfriend, what does this psycho think she’s doing?!”

“Right? I don’t know who she thinks she fooling. What kind of boyfriend needs to sign his full name?”

“It is pretty weird.” Adrien said, rubbing his neck in discomfort. “But it’s not the strangest thing a fan has done. It’s not that big a deal, right?”

“Dude.” Nino started, staring at his best friend in mild horror. “Just because you don’t know this girl doesn’t make it ‘no big deal’.”

“Oh no.” Zoe pipes up again. “He knows her.”

“What?!” All of Adrien’s friend’s exclaimed. Even Adrien looked a bit shook by her admission.

Alya zipped over to the counter, leaning dangerously close to Zoe’s remarkably unfazed face. “What do you mean ‘he knows her’?! How do you know that?! This sounds like a creepy fangirl but you’re telling me she’s actually in Adrien’s life?!”

“I should say so. I mean, it was even on TV that she was modeling with Adrien and she’s made a few appearances on his instagram.” Zoe brought out her phone, casually thumbing open Instagram. “I would’ve just ignored it, but if she’s going around pretending she’s dating Adrien then he has the right to know.”

“Modeling with....and you said on his instagram...?”

“Are...” Marinette piped up, voice dripping with trepidation. “Are you talking about Lila?”

“Marinette,” Alya gave her friend a withering look. “Just because you don’t like her doesn’t mean you can just accuse her of-”

Zoe cut her off, flashing her phone screen at the group to present a photo, having found the image she was looking for: a brunette with a straight fringe and her forelocks in twin tails leaning possessively over an uncomfortably smiling Adrien.

“Yes, Mlle. Rossi! I’d recognize that crazy hairstyle anywhere.” She turned the phone back to look at it herself. “Pft, Adrien, what’s with this caption? ‘Lila insisted I take post this picture?’ Yikes, man, learn to say no.”

Alya waved her hands in front of her, eyes scrunched closed in disbelief. “Hold up, hold up, hold up. You have GOT to be getting this twisted. Lila wouldn’t do something that like this, that’s just...wrong!”

“I mean, this is definitely the girl I was talking about.” Zoe said slowly, raising one eyebrow at Alya’s response. “And Rossi is the name on the bill. What exactly am I ‘getting twisted?’“

“Because!..Because Lila just wouldn’t!”

“Yeah!” Nino shouted from behind her, shaking himself out of the stupor this whole situation left him in. “She said she wasn’t into Adrien like that!”

Zoe snorted. “And you believed her?”

“W-well yeah, why would she lie about that...?”

“You guys are so cute. And definitely need to watch more True Crime shows.”

“What-?”

“Sorry Adrien.” Zoe lofted over Alya’s shoulder, cutting off another defensive quip. “I know she was your friend. I just wanted to make sure you knew.”

“Ah, no, she’s not really- I mean, I’m not that surprised to be honest.” Adrien offered weakly.

“It sounds right up her alley.” Marinette growled, fingers digging into her crossed arms.

“What...” Nino and Alya turned to their friends, confused and anxious. “What are you talking about? This..this is Lila we’re talking about!”

“The same Lila who got Marinette expelled?” Adrien stated, face grim and tired.

“That was rescinded, it wasn’t her fault-”

“The same Lila who sent everyone in Adrien’s contact list picture of her kissing Adrien?” Marinette ground out, aggravated.

“I mean, that was weird, but I’m sure she didn’t mean-”

“The same Lila who got my bodyguard and Natalie in trouble with my dad?”

“Or maybe the same Lila who stole Adrien’s dad’s book and threw it in the trash?”

“She did WHAT-?!”

“I-I fished it out for you!”

“Wait is that how you knew about Lila-”

“Wow.” Zoe whistled, again cutting the group off. “What a class act. Sounds like a great friend you got there, Adrien.”

“Oh trust me.” Adrien growled, eyes never leaving Marinette who steadfastedly refused to look at him. “After this we’re NOT friends.”

Alya held her head with one hand, staring at the ground. “Wait, wait, this...this can’t be right, Lila isn’t...she wouldn’t do this, she wouldn’t, she’s...cool! And nice! And-! She just can’t!”

Zoe cocked her head toward’s Alya, leveling her with a patient stare. “Well, then what is she doing?” Alya looked up blankly at her, prompting her further. “The truth of the matter is that Lila Rossi comes in once a week, and has been for at least two months, buying flowers to be delivered to her own address (which I know because it matches up to the address on the card with her last name on it), but dictates that the card say it was sent by Adrien. If she’s not faking that Adrien is sending her flowers, what is she doing?”

“I...I don’t...” Alya floundered. They were just supposed to order some flowers, how did the day turn like this?!

“You’re an investigative reporter, right? What’s that old Sherlock Holmes saying? ‘Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth’?”

Alya leaned into Nino, staring out at the shop, searching for something to make some sense. She thought Lila was nice, was her friend, was everyone’s friend! But this stunt with Adrien...what does it even mean...?

Everyone looked towards the employee door as footsteps could be heard approaching. A moment later Tama, Zoe’s younger sister, stepped into the shop, pausing at the door when she realized five pairs of eyes were staring at her. She looked over the customers, taking in Marinette’s slight glower, Adrien’s tight jaw, and Nino and Alya’s devastated posture.

“Soooo, are you here to buy some bouquets?”