#this quick little no homo hug
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hi hello happy 2024 i made a bucky fan video with the billie eilish barbie song. it is partly a joke and partly extremely sad and earnest
#bucky barnes#fanfic bucky#fanvid#what was i made for#marvel#barbie#billie eilish#sad guy#gender experience#remember that time marvel did the world's most nuclear-scale no homo#and steve left forever to be with his Woman Love which was ooc enough that even regular ppl outside the gay shipping world were like “???”#but anyone who had read fanfic#and/or had emotional sensibilities#was like “damn that's devastating”#even though in the movie it was just#this quick little no homo hug#although sebastian stan really did try to Act His Eyeballs Off#as ever#ANYWAY#perhaps this video can be#a healing experience#in which the true emotional devastation of that moment#is allowed to ring out#um anyway#stucky#winter soldier#Youtube
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💙The Mutant Mayhem boys with an ftm boyfriend/crush💙
Leonardo
- Bless this guy's heart. With the way you nervously pulled him aside during a hangout at the lair, hands shaky and eyes escaping his own, Leo seriously thought you were going to break up with him.
- You could tell he was starting to panic and quickly de-escalated it, comforting your anxious, teary-eyed boyfriend by hugging him close.
- After calming down, he asked you what was really going on, and, well... you told him. Openly, with scattered giggles and stuttered words, as well as a few stray tears.
- Leo was quick to place his thumbs on your face and rub the tears away, listening closely as you told him everything.
- Proudly proclaims (when you're comfortable with it) about having you as his sweet, wonderful boyfriend.
- Constantly checks his internal alarm clock (as well as his phone) whenever he knows you're wearing a binder. Leo worries he's being too overprotective, but that thankful smile of yours whenever he does bring it up washes all the bad thoughts away.
- Reassures you whenever you're feeling down about yourself (best boy) and claims that he'd physically fight your dysphoria if he could.
- You're saved as "Prince💙" in his phone and his brothers never let him live it down.
- Totally relates to your insecurities of not being "manly enough" and so, you two hype each other up, in your own cringy, dorky lovestruck way.
- "You're so handsome!"
"No, you!"
- If you have a similar taste in clothes to him, get ready to be dogpiled by his brothers for the crimes of "dressing like bestbuy employees" and "looking like you're gonna sell them an insurance plan"
- With the way you laugh it off, Leonardo can't help but join you, adoring your new-found confidence and the loving look you gave him as you met his eyes.
- Cringefail boyfriends fr
Raphael
- He was kind of confused at first, but listened intently as you explained how you felt, occasionally taking your hand in his and toying with your fingers.
- Raphael never gave much thought to his orientation, even after falling in love with you and getting together. He may need some help understanding a few things, but he's thrilled to call you his boyfriend.
- Like... Nothing changed. You're just a boy to him now.
- You were a little nervous about him not making a big deal out of it, but it quickly turned into relief once he crushed cuddled you for the rest of the night, occasionally making some VERY crude gay jokes to make you laugh.
- Will not let up with the "no homo" jokes after you tell him. The both of you could literally be kissing and-
"I love you so much, Raph"
"Love ya too. No homo though right?"
- Loves it when you laugh and/or scoff at these jokes
- Since you're a guy, Raph figures he can tell you all about gross guy things like he does with his brothers. He's just that comfortable with you.
- If you're trying to put on muscle, he's all smiles and already dragging you to the training area. You're not getting out of this. (affectionate)
- Raphael actually has a pretty good fashion sense and would be really flattered if you asked him for advice. He'll never admit that though, obviously.
- One time, you came home with a pair of matching red and black jerseys, in yours and his respective sizes.
- Raph.exe stopped working
- Like... Face redder than his mask type of gay panic.
- Offered to steal testosterone for you more than once.
- Noogies you/threatens to shove you into lockers affectionately. When you confront him about his nerd/jock thing, he just malfunctions and denies it.
- Would beat up anyone who gives you trouble for your identity in a heartbeat. No one messes with his man.
Donatello
- It was late at night at the lair, during one of your hours-long gaming sessions with your best friend, Donnie. He laid in his tent, shifting side to side excitedly, relieved that you couldn't see how much of a mess you made him whenever he heard your voice.
- And yet Donnie made the effort to hide his feelings, because you two were friends. Wait, no. He was your BEST friend.
- ... Who had been crushing on you for ages now. Painfully so.
- Much like his older brother, Donnie misinterprets your anxious tone and stuttering as something different, thinking you were about to tell him you've always loved him and wanted to be together forever-
- "Donnie, I'm trans."
- A choked sound comes out through the other end of the call as Donnie faceplants into his pillows, face flushed in embarassment.
- "T-that's okay. I, um... Totally cool."
"You sure? You sound weird."
"*voice cracks* ..yEP!"
- Really supportive, but in a chill sorta way.
- Donnie is easily the most casual about it. Barely questions it - before you know it he's already complimenting you, telling you how well you pass.
- If you're self conscious about your voice, Don makes sure you know that he loves it and also jokes about his own, saying that you don't need a deep voice to be a man.
- "I mean... Look at me! I'm pretty much a falsetto and you like me anyways!"
- Donnie says that last part lightly, but he listens intently for your reaction, and is relieved when you laugh; he successfully cheered up his crush. Score.
- Compares you to various anime guys he thinks resemble you - given that you may not know much about the characters or Donnie's knowledge of them. His brothers, however, noticed a pattern - they're always the anime boy archetypes he seems to favor the most.
- And so they tease him, relentlessly, mercilessly, about his crush on you.
- "Donnie's got a tyyyypeeee!"
"Quit it, Mikey!"
"C'mon guys, maybe he wants to go see his boyfriend!"
"H-he's not! Shut up, Raph! You know what? I'm gonna go."
"What, you miss your senpai already?"
"WHAT THE HECK LEO!?"
Michelangelo
- You sort of came out to Mikey shortly after becoming his friend. Being a member of drama club, you were lucky enough to find yourself in a supportive environment and you were finally free to be yourself, much like the turtles.
- Mikey always tiptoed around the idea of what romance could be like and, well... you were just his type.
- You didn't mock him, or treat him like the weakest one of the group or anything. You took him seriously.
- And so Mikey was seriously obsessed with you.
- So much so that when your group was tasked with dressed rehearsals for the play you'd been practicing together, he can barely look in your general direction as you slip off the stage garments to reveal black underarmor.
- It was chill. You were just friends. Totally chill. Be cool. Mikey could do that, right?
- "W-wait, where are you going?"
- He was struggling with removing his shirt, the thin cotton getting caught on his shell. Mikey stood there, watching you step out of the changing rooms and into one of the bathroom stalls, face flushed and arms raised awkwardly as he fiddled with the shirt.
- "I just gotta get this binder off. S'been knocking the wind outta me!"
"O-Oh..."
- Unexpectedly, Mikey's kinda paranoid about you binding. It leads to some awkward questions, but he's genuinely worried and means well.
- Mikey gets very passive aggressive whenever someone misgenders you on purpose; you may have to hold him back a bit.
- Does his best to cheer you up when you feel down about yourself. This man will NOT rest until that handsome smile is back on your face.
- Tries to low-key sneak it into conversations that he likes guys. And that you're a guy. And that he REALLY likes guys. And-
- He's just a gay mess, forgive him.
#tmnt#tmnt mm#mutant mayhem x reader#mutant mayhem#leo mutant mayhem#raph mutant mayhem#donnie mutant mayhem#mikey mutant mayhem#leonardo x reader#tmnt x male reader#mutant mayhem x male reader#tmnt x trans male reader#tmnt x ftm reader
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⚔️SFW A-Z: Ares⚔️
Did Dio already, so here's one for our favorite little sadist! Also I accidentally posted this one before it was finished so if you saw it then, no you didn't <3
A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
Ares is somewhat reserved with his touch. He is quite touchy, but in that standoffish, no-homo kind of way if you know what I mean. Clasping arms. Putting his hand on your shoulder. Ares's touches are brief but meaningful. He actually likes physical affection a lot more than he lets on, but he has trouble initiating it. Considering how many people on Olympus find him weird and off-putting, I feel like Ares is EXTREMELY touch-starved and really just wants to be held, but doesn't quite know who or how to ask for it. Would probably melt if somebody hugged him from behind.
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
In order to befriend Ares, you'll have to share at least one of his niche interests. Be that violence, weaponry, or warfare, Ares just wants someone to talk to about the things he's into. Full warning, he will be extremely overbearing because well... not a lot of people like him. Even less people like discussing the things included in his domain. As a friend, Ares tends to have trouble being um, what's the word? Normal. Someone messes with you? Ares has already cut off their head and is finding a nice spike to put it on. Something you have to do? No, wrong. It's hang out with Ares time. Tends to be almost yandere-like in his affections, born in part from his small pool of friends. You can see how frequently he expresses the desire to meet new characters if they come up in conversation. It may take an explosion of violence to draw Ares's attention, but all it takes is any degree of interest to draw his obsession. He just wants companionship, okay? He doesn't have enough friends that he can afford to lose any. Don't leave him. :(
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
I don't care what anyone else says, Ares is a little spoon. HOLD HIM. Also fond of having you lie on his chest so he can stroke your hair. Secretly loves to cuddle but won't ask for it. If he wants a cuddle, he'll get extremely touchy, his hands somehow finding their way to your waist or shoulders. If he's not touching you, he's hovering over you. Just hug the man already!
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
Yes and no. I feel like Ares would want to be a father and engage in cute little domestic activities, but he's also not dropping his day job as the literal embodiment of war. I hope he at least remembers to wash the blood off himself before he hugs his kids. Ares is good at cooking but he doesn't do it all that often because he has little interest in eating. However, he will usually make the food himself for dates and such. Lifehack: weaponize his need for love. Praise his food and he'll make you dinner every day. You won't even have to worry about the mess either because Ares is very fussy about cleaning up after himself. This usually pertains mostly to his weaponry, but anything else he happens to be doing is also included.
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
Ares won't. His passions don't burn out. Ever. Once you've got his attention, you've got it forever, so I hope you've properly considered the ramifications of that before you started talking to him. On a semi-related note, I feel like he's especially prone to toxic and codependent relationships because his family situation was shit so he doesn't know what healthy love looks like his biggest draw in relationships is extreme passions.
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
It takes Ares a long time to trust fully, but once he's fallen in love, he's commited. He wants you. He wants you forever. Unlike most of the other Olympians, he actually prefers a monogamous commitment. Wouldn't advise cheating on him. You'll break his heart. Also he'll kill you. (The exception is Aphrodite. According to Ares, you are both allowed to sleep with Aphrodite. Because Aphrodite. Obviously.)
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
He tries, he tries, oh how he tries. Ares does his best to be a polite gentleman and be careful with the ones he loves. But he is still the god of war and a love for aggression and violence comes with the territory. Often he gets strong urges to be rough and sometimes he can't stop himself. He'll bite when you kiss him. Dig his nails into your skin in the heat of passion. He doesn't mean to hurt you. Well, he does, but he's sorry about it. He kisses your wounds in apology, licking up whatever blood he's spilled. Ares wants to be gentle with you but by his very nature he craves roughness. He doesn't even care if it's him in control. He'd love it if you'd bite him back, shove him, hit him. But he'll try to keep his lust for violence away from you and on the battlefield unless you give him explicit permission otherwise.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
I firmly believe that Ares has never been hugged in his life. Zeus can't be bothered and Hera is emotionally distant. Dionysus hangs off of him sometimes but to be honest it's just intended to get on Ares's nerves. Aphrodite cuddles, but it's either a post-coital thing or very sexually charged. Nobody hugs Ares just to hug him. And I feel like he'd short-circuit if anyone ever did. In theory, he understands the concept of a hug and what to do with his limbs during one. In practice, he is internally freaking out. Despite the fact that Ares doesn't have a lot of experience hugging, he actually gives great hugs. After the initial shock is over, he just kinda melts into you, holding you so tightly as if he'd rather die than let you go. Always has one hand at the back of your head, gently guiding your face into the crook of his shoulder.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
Because many people are put off by him, Ares is cautious when he gets to know people. Sure, you'll know about his love for bloodshed upon your first interaction with him, but the deeper stuff, like how he feels about his family? It takes a very long time for Ares to open up enough to trust others with his innermost thoughts. When he starts lamenting about how he wishes his kin liked him more, you'll know he adores you. Ares is quite lavish and open with his praise so he'll tell you he loves you quite frequently once he gets to that point. Never absently or off-hand though. Anytime Ares says it, he says it passionately, looking into your eyes or clasping your hands so that you know he truly means it.
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
Ares is extremely possessive but the degree to which he is depends on your mortality. If you're mortal, well, suffice to say that flirting with you is now a death sentence. If you're a god, Ares tends to treat you as more of equal and less of a possession. More understanding about the distribution of your time. Unlikely to kill your followers. Still gets possessive, but can be convinced to back off easier. Maybe soothe his ego by telling him how strong and handsome and dedicated he is. You know, before he loses his temper and starts a war on purpose because his pookiebear didn't pay enough attention to him.
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
Like everything else Ares does, passionate. A hand is at the curve of your jaw, another at the small of your back keeping you pressed to him. Not sloppy or messy, but definitely intense. Ares kisses like he means it. Occasionally gets too caught up in the moment and nips you hard enough to draw blood, but he'll apologize by licking it up. Goes most often for the neck and the lips, but also HUGELY into body worship and will spend hours planting kisses on every inch of your body if you'll let him.
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
I feel like Ares would fucking love to be a father. He can teach them manners, he can play with them, he can show them the best places to display the severed heads of their enemies, all that good shit. Ares would be a devoted, doting father, if a little prone to sending his children down a violent life path. Has very little experience with children though because literally no one wants the crazy guy with a love of warfare and a spark of madness in his eyes babysitting their youth. I wonder why.
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
Ares doesn't usually sleep. He doesn't need to and he'd honestly rather spend his time doing something else. Rest is few and far between for Ares, but if you insist, he'll spend his nights in bed with you. Still, no matter what time you wake up, Ares is up before you and has already made/procured breakfast. Even if he has something to do that day, he's left you food and a sweet note. However, he tries not to have responsibilities in the morning because he loves spending those soft moments with you. Because he has very little interest in food, he mostly just spends the morning watching you eat. Your choice on whether you find that creepy or cute.
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
Ares spends his evenings tending to the tools of his trade. He cleans his weapons and armor. Makes sure everything is in its proper place. Probably does a bit of general tidying before he joins you in bed. Often prefers to be in his own head then to sleep, so he'll pretty much always fall asleep after you, if he sleeps at all. He's a very light sleeper so any movement at all will disturb him, which is wonderful if you have nightmares. Less wonderful if you're an insomniac or a restless sleeper. To be perfectly honest, Ares doesn't mind being woken up though. He's not that big on sleeping anyway.
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
Like I said, Ares is cautious with his emotions. It'll take a long time to get him to open up about the really deep stuff. Can however be hurried along slightly if you open up to him first.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
He's a Greek god. Asking if he's touchy is like asking if otters enjoy swimming. Ares is a massively petty bitch. Not quite as petty as Zeus or Aphrodite, but, man, he's up there. He doesn't usually hold grudges, but he will respond to perceived slights WAY out of proportion. Forget about date night? Oh, don't worry. Ares has slaughtered your entire family so you can get a better grasp on your priorities. Ares, babe. What the fuck is wrong with you.
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
Everything. All of it. Ares knows your favorite food. Your favorite breed of dog. Your favorite god damn shade of green. Ares hangs off your every word and remembers every one of your little quirks.
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
Ares can't pick just one. He loves every second you spend together and cherishes them all deeply. Although, he does find himself often thinking of the first time you showed an interest in his weapons. He's quite possessive over his personal tools and generally dislikes if you touch them, but he adores when you sit with him while he tends to them. He'll tell you stories about fights he won (or lost) with them. He'd love it even more if you sparred with him or if you let him teach you how to use one of them. There's nothing he'd like more than to fight at your side. This is meant to be SFW so I won't go too into detail about how Ares feels when he sees you battle-drunk and dripping with the blood of your foes, but suffice to say he's having issues taking his eyes off you.
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
EXTREMELY. Anybody hurts you? Bitch, give him a NAME. You know what, a country even. Ares will quite simply destroy anyone who even shows you the slightest disrespect. Fuck, he'll probably massacre the whole township just for good measure. If one of the other gods are threatening you or doing something you're not comfortable with (*cough cough* Zeus, Poseidon), Ares will be a little more subtle but he is definitely having A Word with them. The kind of word where, behind his polite smile, you can tell that Ares is flat-out threatening the person he's speaking too. While some of the older gods probably could beat him, it wouldn't be without great personal loss, so pretty much everyone would rather drop it than actively piss off Ares. Alternately, he'd find it sweet if you tried to protect him. Whether that be parrying a blow aimed at him on the battlefield or standing up for him to his family, Ares finds it deeply charming, even if he really doesn't need the help. However, will be absolutely LIVID if you put yourself in danger for his sake. It's the one and only time he may actually raise his voice and shout at you.
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
Lots and lots. All of it. All of the effort. Ares is a very gentlemanly type when it comes to dates. He always brings you flowers and has a fancy meal waiting, probably under the stars because he just is that Extra. He tends to remember everything about you and so each of his gifts are sweet and thoughtful. He generally always remembers your anniversaries, unless there's an especially huge war going on and he's busy being hyperfixated on that. Will absolutely go above and beyond to make it up to you though if he forgets. Overall, just very thoughtful and high-effort.
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
Tends to get ADHD style hyperfixations about war and violence and gore. A new conflict has started? Ares literally will not shut up about it. Someone invented a new torture implement? Ares is lowkey begging for you to play with it with him. Come do torture with him! As a date! Or maybe you can torture each other?? Ares is down for that too! Unfortunately Ares has a tendency not to notice (or maybe care) that he's making people uncomfortable unless they flat out say something so he may accidentally bulldoze across your boundaries over how much you actually want to hear about violence. Also, he values blood family above all else and will have a tendency to meddle in yours if you have a difficult/unpleasant familial situation. I don't think you can ever cure him of it either (not without a fuckton of therapy anyway) so you're just going to have to deal with his "family is important" speeches until the end of time. He won't force you to talk to them but you can tell he definitely disapproves. (He gets that trait from Zeus btw)
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
He is a vain little peacock of a man, he just doesn't want anyone to think he is. Like, look at his stance. All the other gods look like they're having a casual conversation with Zagreus or were in the middle of doing something when they started talking to him. Ares has his helmet under one arm, meaning he was either literally just wearing it and took it off to talk or he picked it up to have this conversation. I'm inclined to believe the latter because he's also pretty boldly brandishing his sword in a way that literally nobody would hold it unless they were posing for a photo. The only other two holding themselves this way is Zeus who despite literally being a god manages to have a god complex on top of that, and Aphrodite who is definitely trying to flirt with Zagreus given some of her voice lines. Also have you seen his eyes? There is no way that bitch is not wearing mascara. Not to say Ares isn't up for getting dirty or bloody, but my guy is a fuck of a lot more vain than he wants anyone to find out about.
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
Despite his deep passions, I feel like Ares would in fact be able to get over you. He'll vent out his emotions by starting a few wars, but he'll be fine. I mean, he's never going to not be in your life, but he's alright with just being friends and admiring you from afar if that is as you so desire. (Assuming it was a clean break-up and he didn't like kill you because you cheated on him or lied to him.) If you're mortal and something killed you, you can bet your ass he's paying a visit to Hades and politely requesting if he wouldn't mind making an exception. Look, if Dionysus of all people can march down there and get his mom back, Ares can certainly get you back. (As an aside I do like to imagine that all the stories throughout greek mythology of people visiting the Underworld actually did happen in canon, Hades has just absolutely forbidden anyone upon pain of eternal torture in Tartarus from speaking of them.)
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
Ares is secretly really into animals, especially birds. The Wiki says the bird on his breastplate is a raven, but I'm actually pretty sure it's meant to be a vulture given his historical connection with them. He definitely has a few pet vultures kicking about back on Olympus. And, when he and Athena were kids, they used to bond over their shared love of owls and had a little aviary where they trained them. They actually had a falling out over it because Ares's owl liked Athena better. He's over it now. Mostly. He's still a little bitter to be honest.
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
A holier-than-thou attitude is something that really gets under Ares's skin. It just makes him want to put them in a situation with no good options and see how they deal with it. Ares, my sweet, has anyone ever told you that you're a mite sadistic? He also has absolutely no patience for abusers and rapists, which would usually go without saying but considering the other Olympians' track record... yeah. (Looking at you again Zeus and Poseidon.) The funny thing is that he likely will not notice or even care if he himself is in an abusive relationship even if it's explicitly pointed out to him. Get him to love you and you've got him wrapped around your finger. Poor Ares is just so starved for affection.
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)
Ares doesn't like sleeping. He gets bored. He's got better stuff to be doing. Also I imagine that Zeus was not exactly a great parent, especially to Ares who is pretty clearly not his favorite child. Typical misguided "hitting my children will make them be better" kind of father, especially with Ares and his quote unquote weird interests. Ares definitely has some sort of trauma from this and gets really bad nightmares if he falls too deeply asleep, which is why he will often just doze or straight up not sleep at all. Somebody please call Hypnos and give this man a decent night's rest, I am begging you.
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IWTV 2022 INSP - EP5: A Vile Hunger for Your Hammering Heart Pt2
Claudia: “Daddy Lou...” Louis: *hugs* “Thank you.” *cries* Lestat: “The prodigal daughter.... Quick stop home to do laundry before you f**k off for good.” Claudia: “A quick stop to pick up Louis.” Louis: .... Lestat: ??? Lou. Claudia (mentally): [[Come with me, Louis!]] Louis: .... Lestat: “Louis?” Claudia (mentally): [[His love is a small box he keeps you in. Don't stay in it!]] Lestat: “LOUIS! A thousand nights of sulking, and at the first sight of her, you are just gonna up and leave me?!“ Claudia: “Please, come with me! Let's meet vampires WORTHY of your love!” Lestat: “AAH!” *attacks Claudia* Louis: “Get the f**k off her!” *attacks Lestat*
-- Interview with the Vampire (AMC 2022, S01E05)
MY THOUGHTS & CC CREDITS
MY THOUGHTS RANT ALERT (rabid AF & VERY lengthy venting about Lestat’s trash decision skills, and Loustat’s toxic sludge of a relationship jfc)
This episode, man.
If you know the IWTV book and the movie, you already know Lestat & Claudia end up literally at each other’s throats, and cross the point of no return as mortal enemies, basically.
But the film’s all wrapped up in Lestat being a sadistic cavalier sarcastic little pissant; and Claudia being a ruthless 10-year old immortal killing machine; and Louis being a masochistic indecisive shell stuck with Lestat through circumstance (not love, no homo!), and Claudia through responsibility (and pedophilic???? love).
The magic of the AMC version is that they’re working in 2022, not the 70s (book) or 90s (film), so they have the luxury to explore what it'd be like for an Alternate Universe Louis and Lestat to really BE together, and raise Claudia
--and how everything inevitably went dead wrong:
Lestat making Claudia was never the mistake. Lestat making LOUIS was.
Seeing the way AMC did everything was so dang good/awful. With Louis & Lestat, theirs was a too-brief whirlwind romance between monsters; a married couple blindly raising a kid together in the midst of carnage and trauma--because they’re vampires, sucking the life out of everyone and everything around them.
They won’t communicate, can’t relate to each other, and don’t really even know each other. Despite Lestat’s false 1st impression of Louis strutting around like a tough guy with that cane-sword, Louis was not a violent man, and Louis HATED being a vampire. That made being with a bloodthirsty hedonist like Lestat next to impossible, no matter how much they loved each other. Especially once Louis started eating animals instead of people, and his diet disgusted Lestat, just as Lestat’s diet disgusted Louis.
Unlike Louis, Claudia took to killing like a bat straight outta Hell (and nearly got them all busted by the COPS because of it). But Lestat & Claudia couldn’t STAND one another by the end. They really were father and daughter in all the worst ways possible.
Violent manipulative control freaks, they both loved Louis deeply, and both wanted him to choose one of them over the other, while doing everything they could to make sure that they couldn’t coexist peacefully in the same space.
IMO, this show’s all about Maker/Fledgling and parent/child bonds. Lestat & Louis love each other romantically, and Louis & Claudia love each other in the familial way. So there are deep emotional bonds. But Lestat made Louis & Claudia vampires, so even though they have a permanent magical bond as Maker and Fledgling, Lestat can't read their minds. But as “sibling” vampires, Claudia and her Daddy Lou CAN speak mentally to each other. So they can understand & know & relate to each other better and on a way deeper level than Lestat ever could with either one of them, even though he made them.
And I agree with the fandom that yeah, Louis 100% liked it that way. When people have kids to “save” the marriage, the baby is a band-aid as much as it is a comfort object, a new emotional bond between parent and child to give them the love they felt they were missing from their spouse. In EP4 Louis told Lestat “’Happy?’ We were never happy!“ He was going to LEAVE Lestat in EP3, before stumbling across Claudia and going back to him. Louis just wanted someone he could TALK to--a new Paul, a new Miss Lily, a new Grace. (Ultimately: DANIEL MALLOY interviewing him--Louis needs SO MUCH therapy jfc.) Lestat made Louis selfishly, for himself (and did a pisspoor job learning about Louis beforehand or educating him in vampirism). And Louis selfishly wanted someone for himself, too--particularly once Lestat made it clear he wasn’t gonna be monogamous & started cheating. Claudia wasn’t made out of love, she was made out of selfishness, spite & panic.
All this made the AWFUL communication between Lestat, Louis & Claudia doomed from the start, as Lestat was immediately left out of his own family--again (his worst nightmare)--all while not realizing/accepting that Louis & Claudia’s father/daughter bond wasn't a threat to the romantic bond he had with Louis.
All of Lestat’s efforts to get closer to Louis (than Claudia) became WAY too heavy-handed--as if stalking & terrorizing Louis in EP1 into being with him wasn’t bad enough. >_> And that’s on top of Lestat’s self-destructive contradictory behavior constantly cheating on Louis to try and rile his jealousy. Which was FUTILE, since all Lestat’s cheating did was push Louis deeper into depression and further away from him--straight to Claudia; the one bond Louis felt he had left!
And then Episode 5 happened, and Lestat REALLY effed up.
Like, we know Lestat’s whipped, Louis’ IT for him, but obviously there was a part of him that really did hate Louis--enough for him to beat him like that. But if it was that bad, why not just LEAVE???? Lestat had all the power & resources--let Claudia & Louis go, and find yourself someone you’re more compatible with, ffs! The swamp/dump is calling, sir! 🤡
But because Loustat are endgame in the books, I cannot WAIT to see how AMC handles Lestat’s redemption arc, both as the (anti-)hero of the Vampire Chronicles, and how both Lestat AND Louis figure out how to grow the eff up and MATURE enough to be worthy of EACH OTHER by the end of the story.
IMO, Loustat are soulmates who met at the wrong time. Not exactly star-crossed lovers, but they definitely went in too deep way too soon. In the books, Lestat hadn’t gone through his growing pains when he met Louis--he’d only been a vampire for like a decade, and careened from one tragedy to the next, not knowing ANYTHING about vampirism to help teach Louis or Claudia anything either. While here on the show, it’s Louis who suffers loss after loss after loss, and is given ZERO time or opportunity to process any of his trauma before he’s made a vampire, married, and a parent in quick succession. (And the books go even further, with everything that happens to him in Merrick and the Prince Lestat trilogy.)
And here, Lestat’s a ~200 year old EXPERT in vampirism, who is DELIBERATELY withholding information and keeping secrets from them, because AMC’s Lestat ALREADY KNOWS about Armand and AKASHA and Marius, but like a MORON he doesn’t TALK TO LOUIS about it (because Marius told Lestat NOT to). So they (especially Claudia) KNOW Lestat’s LYING, and think he’s keeping them with him seemingly as their hateful & controlling JAILER/SLAVE MASTER, rather than their loving & paranoid protector. CLOWN BEHAVIOR, Lestat! 🤡
And that’s not even saying anything yet about the LOADED significance of Loustat’s interracial homosexual relationship, with Lestat’s “non-discriminating” pansexualism and stubborn “color-blindness” and racism doesn’t exist in Europe attitude like WTF DRUGS ARE YOU EVEN ON SIR as if the FRENCH didn’t colonize the West Indies and Africa and NEW ORLEANS as some of THE most racist Europeans ever GTFOH. And Louis’ Catholic Guilt and internalized-homophobia and struggles being black during Jim Crow and whatever Frenchophile-blinders he had on to excuse Lestat as a “safe” white man he could be with, when the man’s a whole vampire LITERALLY hunting you, good GOD have mercy on this baby lamb against the WOLF KILLER Lestat. And Claudia calling Lestat on his crap EVERY TIME, knowing he was keeping secrets and constantly interrogating him, following him and spying on him as he cheated on Louis, calling him “Massa,” I CANNOT. 👑
I love this show, AMC’s a genius. This one episode encapsulates SO many different issues and aspects of these characters, it’s wild. IMO, some of the fandom needs to calm down about EP5 and Lestat’s “character assassination.” YES, Lestat’s the villain on the show. He’s the villain in the movie, too, lest we forget! That's why Lestat spends the next like DOZEN books in the Vampire Chronicles trying to clear his name, getting the reader to see things from HIS perspective, after Louis ROASTED him for filth and made Lestat look so dang bad in THE interview that started it all.
I love bashing on Lestat, because that’s the whole POINT of IWTV--it’s Louis still mad as all hell at his ex 100 years later, venting to Daniel about his TRAUMA and hurt. You’re SUPPOSED to be mad at Lestat, and be on Louis’ side as he goes off on him in the interview, feeling just as hurt and betrayed as he did, because you too LIKE--love--Lestat, and were just as seduced and blindsided as Louis was.
Other than IWTV and Merrick, the Vampire Chronicles are NOT Louis’ story, they’re Lestat’s, a narcissistic egomaniacal lovable a-hole, and the books do the heavy lifting of letting you slowly get to know him, as he admits to his flaws and mistakes and finally REDEEMS himself--in both the reader’s eyes--AND LOUIS’.
IMO, AMC is really hammering it home how THE BOOKS are Lestat’s long AF apology letter to Louis, for letting him down.
Chile, lemme calm myself down and get back to playing the Sims.
____________________________________________
CC CREDITS (WIPs)
- Louis sweater by EA
- Claudia overalls by Momo, jacket ACC by M1ssduo, shirt by EA
- Lestat shirt & pants in gamma by me (they’re all kinds of effed up, trust me)
- Poses X X (there were an effton more; I IDER some of them, sorry)
- A bunch of poses by @danjaley as usual LOL X X X
- Vampire attack poses by Sea (Direct DL)
- One falling pose was definitely by ahiruchanet, but I can’t find a post or link yet
#sims 3 vampires#loustat#interview with the vampire#sims 3 horror#sims 3 gameplay#RANT ALERT#sims 3 iwtv
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Vasco’s LGBT Adventure
This is just a little idea of how Vasco manages to create an LGBT division of Burn Knuckles possibly named the Gay brass.
Vasco goes to the gay district of Seoul (which a quick google search revealed is called Homo Hill) for whatever Allied reason and ends up seeing a trans woman getting harassed. Of course, he jumps in no questions asked. After beating up the bad guys, Vasco slowness helped him out not to misgender the woman all he saw was the dress and was like this is a woman, even though she is a trans woman that does not try to conform to hyper-femininity.
This leads to flowers surrounding Vasco in her vision, and ask why did Vasco help because when you are on the outskirts of the gay district you tend to get less help form bystanders when getting harassed. But Vasco does not realize that her implied question and he thinks its just regular harassment and its like I am not a burn knuckles if I don’t protect.
After that the woman helps Vasco on his Allied mission and at the same time explain to all her friends how Vasco saved her. Over the days Vasco helps many of the members of the LGBT community and ends up amassing a following similar to his time when he accidently created the homeless fam.
Vasco came to the district in his leather jacket with the burn knuckles logo. One of the queens of the district made a leather jacket with the burn knuckles logo surrounded by a gay pride flag flame. Vasco is like oh thank you I want to get a matching one for my partner and he's like him and his partner had a little falling out before he got here and wants to get them something nice to show he still loves them. Throughout his whole explanation he was using gender neutral pronouns, so everybody like oh no Vasco had a falling out with his girlfriend, even though he's been helping them the LGBT members still think Vasco is straight. But whole time he's talking about Jace and not even in a romantic way.
Before he got to the district he lost his phone, so its been radio silence from him so Jace and Leon Lee, who is still pretending to be a male comes to find him. They see they are a part of the Burn Knuckles but the members of the gay district are wary because some of them have picked up that Vasco is a little slow that he has not realized some of them are trans or even drag queens. One of the drag queens have talked to Vasco in drag and out of drag and realized Vasco thinks they are two different people. They don’t know if the burn Knuckles are as accepting as Vasco makes them appear.
Even weary of Jace and Leon, they take them to Vasco whose been stationed a VIP section of a gay club with the Gay Burn Knuckles logo somehow behind him. Jace and Leon are like what the hell? Vasco is just happy to see Jace because he thought Jace was really mad at him since Jace hasn't contacted him but forgetting he lost his phone how will Jace contact him.
Vasco in his happiness exclaims that his partner returned for him and hugs Jace and is saying he loves him and he is so sorry. And the gay district members are like what he's gay? They start cheering yeah Vasco the leader of gay brass (the burn knuckles LGBT division) is forgiven by his partner. Jace is like what the hell is Gay Brass and Vasco distressed at somehow making another crew is like I don’t know.
Meanwhile, Leon has picked up that people are referring to Jace as Vasco's romantic partner and not his crew partner/friend and is pissed/jealous. And people turn to her and like oh are you also Vasco's partner and she just exclaims yes without clearing any misunderstanding. More gay shock! Vasco is not only gay but is in a poly relationship with two other men! Also, people are picking up she is not a cis-male and are like exploding at this point Vasco is not only gay but in a poly relationship with two men one of which is trans!
After none of the confusion is cleared up, Vasco, Jace and Leon leave having completed the Allied mission but all with small patches on their sleeves with the gay brass symbol.
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"yo boys/masc people when u have sleepovers together do u like.. share beds??? does no homo apply?? my stupid little girl brain doesnt get this"
soooo, i'm not a boy and i'm not a masc person, and i'm not amab either, BUT i love answering questions, so i decided to answer this one
idk about sleepovers, but i remember a moment when a boy in my class was talking about the fact that when we was on a school trip he had to share a bed with another boy, his friend, and that it was terrible. my fav thing about it is that the bed was king size, so they had some space, they didn't have to cuddle or anything, so - as a person who literally slept in one bed with my friend (who isn't a girl, but is afab, idk about his gender identity, he's either trans or demiboy from what i know) and cuddled, it seemed a little bit riddiculous and overdramatic, but i think that boys in general feel less allowed to do stuff like this, because if they do they get called "gay" and i'm not saying that it's an insult, because it isn't, but some of them treat it as such, so they have a big problem with being called gay, so the only kind of physical contact that they accept with other boys is either a quick "manly" hug or patting each other on the back when they win a football game, when girls have a lot more freedom with it, cos they can hug, cuddle, sleep with their head on other girl's lap, kiss each other on cheeks, hold hands and stuff like this, because it's more socially acceptable for girls to be that close without being in a romantic relationship.
all of this is based purely on my own experience and my class and other people that i know but people that i talked about it with always agreed, so idk if it's the right answer or does it apply only to the people that i know
hehe i like this answer and the story :)
also LETS ERASE TOXIC MASCULINITY AND LET BOYS DO WTF THEY WANT W THEIR FRIENDS WITHOUT BEING CALLED GAY (with consent ofc)
#i like stories in general tbh#also thx for answering this#boys are fascinating ngl#*ur super awesome and cool
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Speaking of our experiences through 2019-2022, coming to terms with losing friends & finding out that I'm queer because I'm tired of keeping it in my skull.
It's really long so beware if you just think it's a quick read or something.
I used to go to public school. I went until 4th grade and technically finished 5th grade but then y'know what happened and then we were rushed to our homes and stuff. We all know about that cause we all had a "great" time being stuck in a house or anywhere for almost 24 hours a day.
I started being homeschooled. It was ok at first because it was somewhat similar to what I was used to in school except there was no expectations except try your best and finish your schoolwork. I had no problems for the first year before I made some new friends.
I made some fellow homeschool friends but it just wasn't the same. Many nights I laid in bed sobbing and grieving for the friends I lost. It was like they were completely gone from me. I had one school friend I would occasionally send letters or message on discord but we had nothing in common anymore really except the fact we were both miserably closeted about being Transgender and queer.
The loss of him was the worst ever because y'know what I realized when I was with him in church? I was in love with him. I had it so bad for him and y'know he broke my heart. But that's ok because I would have rathered him be honest about not loving me than pretend. He made me realize that I was not a cis girl & straight but that I was Transgender & queer (at the time I identified as a trans boy & bisexual) He didn't like me though or at least I didn't bother with a confession after he said no homo one night when we were holding hands. I would often rest my head on his shoulder and hold his hand and we would both try not to sleep while we listened to boring lessons about how gay people are going to hell and we have to follow Jesus and all that Christianity stuff. (No like that's literally all the Christian churches I've gone to's preaching material-)
After he stopped coming to church I started hanging out with another Trans guy at my church. (You'd be surprised how many closeted trans people there are at churches) We were really good friends. One night we had a sleepover. He had already gone to bed about 1 or 2 hours ago while I was still playing Minecraft on my tablet or something like that. When I rolled to face his face to sleep I knew then that I was in love again. I had fallen in love with another guy. I couldn't stop thinking in that moment how much I wanted to kiss him and hold him and just cuddle. I knew that I couldn't but that just made me want to hold him more. I was glad I brought my stuffed animal, I shifted slightly closer to him and snuggled my stuffed animal and then went to bed after a while.
And then finally after that I met my ex girlfriend. She was so pretty and I loved her so much. She loved the Dsmp just like me & her favorite content creators were Wilbur & Tommy. I was ecstatic! We just clicked so well. Finally a month or maybe 2 weeks before we had to move I confessed. She said that she liked me to and then we dated.
I moved and I was so grieved. I knew I was moving soon but that didn't prepare me for the hurt of not being able to ever give her kisses and hugs. I actually gave her one of my stuffed animals, my favorite one at the time. I believe it's name was Toms. (Obviously stemmed from my Dsmp interest)
I often spent nights crying and even having something like panic attacks because I had incredibly horrible and traumatic flashbacks to a traumatic event.
I was so distraught over being closeted, the old trauma & the trauma that my own little brother caused me, that I started harming my body. My mom noticed the self harm and tried to get me to tell her what was wrong. I told her that I was Transgender (I was too scared to tell her about the old trauma, I had already told her when it was happening and she didn't believe me so why would she believe me now?!) and that I wanted to be called Callum and I already used He/They pronouns online. She told me that sometimes she'll fail me but God will be there and that I'll always be [dead name] to her.
For a while I was really depressed. I'm pretty sure I inherited my mom's seasonal depression because I don't actually feel that same empty kind of depression I was feeling when it was cold and wintery that I feel when it's hot.
Anyways maybe this was too personal of information to share online, I'm just tired of keeping shit in my skull. I am tired of being the one who remembers EVERYTHING.
If you think you might have went to school with me or know who I am just from this post, please ignore this post. Unless you are either of the guys I was talking about in this post. I miss you guys still but I'm mostly over it. I'd love to know what you guys are doing right now. I lost my old discord account. I can't message you guys there.
Anyways I'll post a post introducing myself tomorrow. I am a new member.
- Ebu! Tommy 🕊️, He/Coral/Dirt
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give me some angsty Magnus x male reader whome is a shadowhunter
full range you do wutever, make them a couple tho I want ✨gay✨
I hope this will be gay enough for you :)
Usually you wouldn't stay in the institute for the night, even when you just had a very rough mission completed and were done for the day.
No, you preferred going over to your boyfriend, who would welcome you in his loft with open arms at all times. Your boyfriend was warlock Magnus Bane.
He was a delight to say at least and you always cheerished his presence around you, which was why you would bottle up all your strength every evening and go over to him.
Today's night wasn't any different, except that you had decided to shower over at Magnus's as well. Usually you didn't like to come over smelling like the demon you just killed mixed with sweat, but today you just wanted to get away from the shadowhunter-world.
When Magnus opened his door he was all smily and wanted to greet you with a hug, but quickly decided against it, his face turning in distaste.
You chuckled "I'm sorry I didn't shower back in the institute. I just wanted to come here as quick as possible, thought I could wash here."
"No, I understand.", Magnus said "Just as well as I understand your job and what it makes you smell like", he accentuated his statement with some fancy hand moves.
You got in laughing and were able to get a small kiss on the lips from him, then left for the bathroom with a smile.
When you were in the shower you could already smell dinner paired with Magnus's shampoo that you were using. It made you smile and hurry up a little.
You stepped out in the livingroom in some sweats and a t-shirt you had left here for cases like this. This time you were greeted with a big bear hug, which made you feel butterflies in your stomach like a teen again.
The following kiss was deeper than the first and also more handsy, you knew Magnus was feeling you up for wounds even though he wouldn't admit it. He was always concerned for your health, not even the fact of you having runes and all could ease his mind.
"Yeaaah, about that", you let go of him and scratched the back of your head "No homo", you joked.
"Oh damn", Magnus said "And I thought I had you after all those 'hook-ups'"
"I'm straight, dude", you said grinning and shrugging
"Yeah, right, you want to watch Ru Paul while eating our potato cream with caramelized leek and saffron?"
"You bet your sweet ass I want to.", you answered, slapping his ass on your way over to the couch.
Two episodes in, you two started talking about your day while doing each other's nails, which you could tell would look awesome when you were done.
You were drinking cocktails and giving your opinions on the candidates, always joking and on some opportunities making out as well - the evening was perfect for you.
Hours after your arrival (talking like 1am), you finally got into bed, Magnus cuddling up on your chest and immediately falling asleep from how tired he was.
You were smiling, brushing through his hair, and listening to his breath until your eyes would close as well.
#gay#pansexual#bi#lgbt#trans#ftm#omnisexual#shadowhunters x male!reader#male!reader#shadowhunters x male reader#magnus bane x male!reader#magnus bane x male reader
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I love how here it's George who just fully throws himself into a hug, he said no, I will not be content with a shoulder pat
I KNOW MAN SHIT I KNOW, time for me to essay on this cause I’ve ranted about it so much.
But the body language in this hug is everything. I could walk through it step by gentle step. Every movement is an echo of things learned and loved together.
Like first of all, Lewis walking over so slow, edging his way to George, not wanting to interrupt but then his head jerks up when George spots him. Lewis lifts his hand to tap his shoulder as George goes for the back slap, and they both just- pause for a second, hands hovering as they decide silently between something small, and what they really want, as George’s hand comes down to cling to Lewis’ shoulder just for a second.
And then George decides, and he launches himself into Lewis. He springs off his toes and drops his weight onto him, like he’s the small one here. Like he isn’t so long he makes other average sized drivers look little. He curls into Lewis like he always does with him before Lewis can even get his arms up around him. George has a forearm circled around Lewis’ neck before Lewis can move, still clutching his gloves. George jumps from far enough away he’s still balancing on his toes. He’s 6’2, and yet George is so desperate to touch him he’s on his toes. Maybe he just likes to feel small.
He collides with Lewis so hard his collar guard bounces around his neck, he’s tucking big old blue helmet down next to Lewis straight away, clinging to his back like he can’t get there quick enough.
And then Lewis’ hands finally settle on him, holding him around the back as he clings to him, his big palm settling over George’s shoulder blades as George grips his race suit
Then we have customary no homo back slaps, as is the whole thing wasn’t already pretty soft an affectionate. But it’s also excitement and delight. It’s releasing energy and communicating through their big clunky helmets and the screaming of fans. It says “you fucking did it! You won! I’m so proud of you, I’m not upset” for Lewis, and “thank you for everything, you did it too! Im glad it’s you who’s here” for George
Then they let go, but they don’t quite do that right either, they bring their heads back round, angling their helmets so they look at each others eyes, through those tiny little visor slots.
George grabs Lewis by the shoulder and squeezes, he’s not ready to let go yet, gripping and shaking the muscle there as they catch each others eyes. And Lewis, Lewis brings his big hand up and spreads it over the side of George’s head, cupping, cradling, holding George where he is so he can look at him. I bet he’s mouthing something to him. Who knows what, but the way he holds George says enough.
Later, the way he gravitates around him on the podium says more, especially compared to Mexico, where Lewis couldn’t wait to leave, to get away. Last race Lewis practically ran from Max from the bulls, only returning for a customary photo before he leaves again.
In Brazil Lewis goes straight from George, centres him in his celebration, then clings to him after, using his waist as a balance to get onto the podium, getting right up under George’s side to hold him. Then even after he’s tugging him out to celebrate with the crowd that everyone knows is lewis’, letting George steal his phone and later still beaming at him in the press con, utterly smitten with him.
The way they adore on each other is more than just the touch. It’s the way they treat one another, compared to those around them. No wonder Carlos looked like he was disassociating up there, Lewis and George only had eyes for each other, two days in a row.
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It’s not a tough decision.
It’s not a decision at all.
The moment Max had told him that he goes to the ice cream shop alone, David knew it.
He knew he will be going there too.
On Wednesday nights.
Where Max is, that’s where David wants to be.
He grabs his phone and keys and leans over his bed to give Chopin a kiss. “Daddy will be back soon, mon trésor. Be good for me.”
He makes his way to the front door when he hears her call out for him.
“Chouchou. Where are you going?” Miss Fairchild says, frowning ever so slightly.
“Um,” David says, searching for a lie. He doesn’t like lying. Especially to the people he loves. “Out?”
Not a lie.
“I can see that,” she chuckles. “It’s late, darling. Are you meeting with a friend?”
“Yes!” David says, a little too enthusiastically.
This is not a lie either.
The woman settles into the sofa. “At this time?”
“Yes.”
So far. So good.
“Who is the friend?”
“It’s a friend from book club.”
Not bad. Not bad.
“Oh,” she sounds pleased. “Who is it?”
Oh crap.
Sometimes he wishes he was like Max.
But no. They both can’t be chaotic. Their children would turn out to be absolute nightmares.
David blushes at his own thought and clears his throat.
He could just tell her. It’s not like she would forbid him to go.
Even if she did, that would be so romantic. David has always liked forbidden romance the best.
He swallows and opens his mouth - to say the truth or to lie. He isn’t sure. He will have to wait and see for himself.
“Um. I’m actually going to Alb-”
“Clary! I think I broke one of your vases!” Mr Herondale comes running. “I swear it was an accident this time.”
Miss Fairchild rolls her eyes. “Jace! I told you not to go into the studio.”
She walks away, glaring at her husband. Mr Herondale turns to him. “You have two minutes to escape.”
David smiles. “Did you really break a vase?”
“Not yet. But I will if I have to,” he winks. “Now. Run!”
David runs. To the man. He hugs him tightly. “Thank you.”
Then he runs to the garage and starts the jeep.
He gets to Albany in two hours.
The distance doesn’t seem as far as it used to be.
Max feels closer now.
But he worries if this closeness is an illusion.
He worries if he is on borrowed time.
What happens when he goes to back to Cambridge?
Would Max go back to not talking to him again?
Would Max go back to his life of one night stands and NDAs?
Would Max call someone else ‘sweetheart’?
Even if it’s “derogatory” as he says?
All the little questions inside his head disappear the moment he walks into that ice cream shop.
All the worries about the future and the pain from the past disappear when he sees Max eating ice cream all on his own.
David takes a few quick strides and slides into the seat opposite the other boy. “Mind if I join you?”
Max looks up.
He smiles.
Then there is this look on his face.
David has seen that look many times.
In the past. Recently. All the time.
He has only ever seen that look on Max’s face when he is looking at David.
He wonders what it means.
He wonders what secrets Max keeps hidden inside himself.
He knows Max isn’t easy.
Max has never been easy.
David knows that. He has always known that.
And he loves Max anyway.
What is that Alex said?
On purpose. I love him on purpose.
David smiles back at Max. He reaches out and takes his hand in his.
I don’t just love him on purpose. He is my purpose.
He is my everything.
An official warning to Mr. David Beauchamp to staph being a cutie patootie. This little snippet is for @springlily25 who is like the best person ever. I think David and Lily would be good friends. The amazing moodboard, as always, is by @all-the-cool-ones-are-gone. I never know how you manage to make them perfect every time.
Also. A quick announcement that I will not be posting this Tuesday since I’m going out of town for work tonight and I’ll only be back home on Wednesday. So, I'll be MIA till then. I’ll see you on Wednesday night with a sexy magazine cover. Till then, homos, homies and hoes.
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I’d love to hear your lgbtq+ book recs!!
I hope you have a lovely weekend as well!
well now you've opened pandora sabrina's box asgdbhjq
okay firstly, lemme just link u to some recs we've previously compiled in the studyblr w/knives server: top 2021 books, lgbtq+ main character, trans main character (more recs incoming next month ;))
and now, to single out some recent(ish) faves: (cut bc this is long)
exciting times (n. dolan) - contemporary fiction they say this is the closest it gets to sally rooney but i haven't read any of her books so i wouldn't know about that. i would, however, know that i absolutely love the writing in this one - barely anything happens and i rarely like plotless books and yet here i am, tabbing the hell out of this book
gideon the ninth (t. muir) - sci-fi horror fantasy it took a little for me to get used to the writing but oh. my. god. it destroyed me in the best way possible and i already have the sequel on my shelves, waiting till after finals to dig in (very much recommend it - feel free to dm me and i can tell u more)
the charm offensive (a. cochrun)* - contemporary rom-com this had the lovely vibes red, white & royal blue has; i read it in a day and had a blast, it also has a main character of color and neurodiverse rep!
the six of crows duology (l. bardugo) - ya fantasy you surely already know abt it, but it's among my all time absolute faves so of course i have to mention it
the raven cycle (m. stiefvater) - ya urban fantasy same reason as with soc lol
things have gotten worse since we last spoke (e. larocca)* - conteporary epistolary horror horror indeed. chilling, gripping, delightfully horrifying and fucking disgusting - i probs won't ever be rereading but man, it was a ride
damaged like us (b.&k. ritchie)* - contemporary romance is this the height of literature? certainly not. but did i enjoy it and read it at lightning speed? i did. i really did.
the house in the cerulean sea (t.j. klune) - urban fantasy a hug in book form. reading this feels like being bundled up in ur fave blanket, sipping your fave hot beverage and Vibing™
hepdale rain trilogy (c. paul)* - ya urban fantasy i don't like werewolf stories. these books tho? had me in a chokehold. the characters are amazing, the writing is lovely af, and each book is better than the last.
the atlas six (o. blake)* - urban fantasy some ppl hated this but me? it made me go absolutely insane. i was making inhumane noises as this took my heart and twisted it in like 5 diff dimensions, 5 stars, immediate new fave.
top secret (e. kennedy, s. bowen)* - contemporary romance kinda a frat house you've got mail au. shameless smut ngl. a great pick if u just want sth quick, super non-demanding to read while getting over a book that ruined u lol
him (e. kennedy, s. bowen)* - contemporary sports romance same as the previous, just with the hockey gays flavor this time.
cemetery boys (a. thomas) - ya urban fantasy this. book. asdfsdghfjkl. my poor heart. just sweet and so soft, but at the same time amazing at tackling themes like your identity and belonging and culture and
simon vs. the homo sapiens agenda (b. albertalli) - ya contemporary romance a classic by this point, but i read it in 2018 and def wanna reread :')
heartstopper (a. oseman) - ya contemporary romance the graphic novel that stole our hearts <3 also go watch it on netflix everyone (if u want to Emote be consumed by warmth)
the magic between (s. hoyt) - magical realism romance this wasn't exactly a fave, but the dedication reads "for all the bisexuals out there - this one's for you." and yes. the bisexual rep this world deserves
*contains (varying degrees of) graphic sexual content
okay i'll stop with that for now, feel free to ask for more literally any time. but bc i cannoT shut up and you have been warned, here are some fantastic lgbtq+ books i have on my tbr (recs courtesy of my friends with superb reading tastes):
the darkness outside us (e. schrefer) - ya sci-fi romance my preordered paperback is on its way as we speak
in the dream house (c. m. machado) - non fiction a memoir that apparently doesn't read as non fiction and tackles multiple incredibly important topics
if we were villains (m. l. rio) - contemporary mystery i won't even say anything, this has been on my tbr for 6 years and that's that.
summer sons (l. mandelo) - urban fantasy (magical realism?idk) this was pitched to me as "the raven cycle but darker and more unhinged". sold immediately lmao
heated rivalry (r. reid) - contemporary sports romance hockey gays with a lot of angst
crush (r. siken) - poetry
iron widow (x. j. zhao) - sci-fi
the starless sea (e. morgenstern) - urban fantasy
19 days (o. xian) - manga
the gilded wolves trilogy (r. chokshi) - historical fantasy
if you have any recs for me (any genre), definitely do drop them in my asks or dms and if you ever run out of books of a specific genre to read or just wanna scream about a book, you know where to find me ✨
#(most of the books i recced in the previous ask are also lgbtq+)#right now i'm most excited to read the darkness outside us and heated rivalry#books#lgbtq#lgbtq+#book recs#bookblr#sabrinas posts#sabrinas mail#sabrinas other
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Love Foolish
miya atsumu x reader
tags: angst, hurt/comfort, established relationship, mature, a little smut (define little on your own), 7.8K words
Summary: Miya Atsumu didn't realise that he was actually counting the days he spent with you while being your boyfriend. The step-process to how your relationship with him rekindles every time a new day begins was not as apparent as it seems to be, but he sure knew that the dreaded day when it comes to an end will never come.
This is an old piece that I worked on last year...I am terribly sorry for the way I post this fic I am not good with tumblr yall this is harder than my degree
........................
Day 153
Atsumu was exhausted. He just got back from training with the college team for a few weeks already. He needs to catch up with the college team even though the time he spent away was used for his training with the MSBY Black Jackals team. He was advised by his family members, team coach and his friends that he should not miss out on any practice without a valid reason and should diligently claim his spot on both teams with the most outstanding effort and attitude so he followed, believed that this is for the best in order to build his volleyball career he was always so passionate about since he was in middle school. If only Osamu joins him, he thinks it won’t be as draining as it is right now.
Everyone in college knows Miya Atsumu, he is too perfect. The handsome look, tall and built figure, his diligence in both studies and shaping his career, to top it all off he is charming and is a ladies’ man. He could make every girl fall for him the instant he flashes his smirk that has been scientifically proven to be a bait for everyone in this universe. One small talk he could get girls on his bed, spending the whole night snogging off each other and leaving them whenever he got annoyed with the sudden disturbance. You happen to be one of the girls who got in his bed, goes on several dates with him, but this time you were one of the people who last longer than a week, and then a month and few more months after that. He assumes and waits for you to be the one ending the relationship but it won’t even come, and he is already tired of waiting.
So, he makes you tired. He doesn't want anything to be on his way at all, and you in the equation is making him disturbed at some times. During the first few weeks of dating, you often invite him for a date at the coffee shop which he obliges only for the reason to not break your feelings even though he has some tasks which are more important at hand. You are nice, but he isn’t. He told Suna that you deserve better.
It has also been roughly two weeks since he last talked to you, and deep in his heart he kind of wants your nagging presence around him, just to distract him from the truckload of stress he’s carrying on his shoulders. So he texted you.
You: [Name], are ya coming or not. Been thinking of binging that Netflix series you’ve been babbling about.
[Name]: Ah sorry, it’s girls’ night with Midori and her gf.
You: I see. Have fun.
Seen.
That’s weird. You said it yourself that you wanted to binge on the weekends with him, after he finished with this practice for the week, and also he thinks that’s just you trying to make up with him after your first argument with him. It is...nobody’s fault, he thinks. He doesn’t want to blame himself and you, partially because you were really upset that day that you raised your voice and he didn’t chase you after you ran out of the apartment. It is just a silly argument. He doesn't want to think about it that much.
As he took a shower and dressed himself in a fresh new pair of t-shirt and black sweatpants, he plopped himself on the sofa and went through Netflix to find something worth watching. He saw the show you wanted to watch ; Pretty Little Liars. Ah it’s not even a Netflix series, it’s just a series which is available on Netflix. Seems like he wasn’t even attentive to what you said.
Before he falls asleep, he walks down the memory lane, to remember how exactly you and Atsumu could last this long in a relationship.
Day 0
The party seems to be a hit! His seniors on the volleyball team joined hands with the football team to conduct a party to celebrate post-sports festival of Tokyo U that happened for a week long and the party is held at the dorms outside of the campus so the board of education won’t meddle, with the promise that there aren’t drugs involved. Which is okay, the athletes are supposed to stay away from drugs and they’re disciplined enough to consider their life decisions.
He was simply just hanging around in the living room of the dorm, which is a terrace house in a neighbourhood a few kilometres away, talking to his friends, Suna and Komori, who are his teammates in the college team. Komori used to go to the same Youth Camp with Atsumu so they knew each other since then. “Huh, sick party. I didn’t think there would be too many people here.” Komori said as he chugs down his cold beer, swaying a little after he finishes with a slightly long chug. “Senpai said just the athletes of the college are invited, but it seems like the whole campus crashed together. Lunatics.” Atsumu said as he plopped down on the bean bag and leaned his head back. Suna calls out.
“Oi, Midori is here. I invited her.” Atsumu is familiar with Midori, he has never been close with her but he knows of her since they went to the same high school together. The three pairs of eyes went towards the door together to greet Midori, with you tailing behind her. “Hey, glad ya made it!” Suna lunges forward and grabs Midori in a hug. “Yeah, cool place, I’m sorry I don’t have a plus one to bring with so I just drag my friend along. Hey, this is [Name]. Go say hi and be friends!” Midori pushed the other girl, which he heard to be [Name], also a familiar name. “Oh wait...you guys must have not have known about her...we went to the same school man...” Midori pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. It is sad that not many people know about small girls like [Name] that much.
Indeed, you went to the same school and you’re in a completely different league than Atsumu, he was and still is the famous athlete that has the entire girls’ population wrapped around his fingers. You’re around the circle of...top scorers who are active in volunteers and some other stuff Atsumu was not into. “Oh, is she another one of your hockey teammates?” you continue hiding behind Midori’s taller frame. Midori pulled you away and hugged your waist, giving support. “Come on now, babe say hi, they’re our friends” you glared at her with a smug look. “Hye, it’s [Name]. I’m not an athlete, I’m a political science major, pleasure to meet ya” your eyes tried to glance from Suna to Komori and to Atsumu but you averted your eyes away from him as soon as it landed on him. You look cute in just a rock concert t-shirt with black jeans shorts and plain converse. Classic party look, but you are not the type to go to parties because...assignments and stress are getting through you which explains why you’re all fidgety. Midori knows there’s more to that, cause you’re a very wild extrovert at some time.
“Hey, enjoy the party, drinks and snacks are down there, the toilet is on another end, help yerself.” Atsumu pats on your shoulder and moves past you to greet his other friends who crashed the party. You’re petrified, to say the least and moved quick on your heels to head to the bathroom for some reality check. The environment is overwhelming.
Atsumu gets tired easily even after downing a can of beer but he isn’t exactly drunk. He is just tired with the lots of conversations and the girls from other courses trying to talk to him, wanting the conversation in a bedroom which he said no to, he is a responsible man. He is not going to do it with them when in their drunken stupor. However, his endless denials are stopped with a sudden disturbance right in front of him.
Midori is on a couch, with a girl and was playing with her hair and occasionally rubbing her thigh and before they closed in someone threw a beer cup at Midori. “What the hell? Leave me alone!” Midori turned his body to see a bulked up guy whose name Atsumu doesn’t remember behind the couch, looming over the two figures sitting on the couch. It’s going to get ugly.
“What the fuck, you leave us alone! Why the hell are homos here. Get out!” Midori and the poor girl trembles in fear and Atsumu wants to blow a kick so bad but he can’t move because of the girls that are around him. Before he tried to push the girls away, he saw you moving towards him, taking away the beer can he has in his hands. “I’m sorry I’m taking this!” Your eyes had a small fire ignited in it and he can’t help but gave away his beer can, and then he saw you walking up on the couch and on to the head rest, spit into the beer and pours the beer all over the homophobic guy who slandered your friend. The guy was drenched and screamed because the beer was icy cold and it came to contact with his skin that got heated from way too much alcohol consumed.
“Oh, I am very sorry, I was convinced that this big hunk of muscle is a trash can!” you screamed with an evil laughter and the whole party laughed and cackled at the sight of the giant asshole from Engineering talking shit about the woman adored by the majority of campus. Midori is your best friend, a very kind, beautiful and valid lesbian friend of yours. You would do anything to protect her from the touch of homophobic devils that would insult her every now and then. It has been happening more recently after she got out of the closet, even when she was inside all this time, you have always given her tons of support and protection because it’s just something about you. Midori was already smiling and got herself up away from the sofa with the girl she was with, hands holding hers tightly.
“You punk! Are ya crazy? Do ya want me to kill ya like I kill your friend here?” your figure who had one leg propped on the head rest while the other on the couch went tense and is about to fall and the nasty asshole grabbed you by the neck, having you lifted in the air and no one helped to stand against him except Midori who was pulling your body before the guy fully grasped your entire neck in his hands. Before he even pressed harder on your throat, Atsumu landed a punch on his face, making himself knocked down on the floor. You already fell flat on the couch, trying to regain your breath. He warns the guy off and he immediately leaves after.
“Shit shit, are you okay?” Atsumu kneels on the floor to check up on you, who were lying on the couch, still coughing out and trying to calm down. Midori ran to get some water for you. “I’m fine, fine, where's Midori? Is she okay?” Midori hit you in the arm. “Idiot. I am fine but look at you, I told you I’m alright, if you give them attention and piss them off they will harm you, look what happened.” Midori cries and hugs you. Atsumu checked up on your face, saw tiny drops on the edge of your eye which got wiped away the instant Midori wrapped her arms around you. “I told you I will always protect you okay, I promised you that” Midori looked at your face again and was still sobbing. She turns towards Atsumu who stood by them. Suna and Komori arrived in the space after making sure the guys had run off. The party went back to normal and it’s chaos again.
“Thank you, Atsumu, if it weren’t for you, I don’t know what would happen to the both of us.” The girl from before is rubbing her hands on Midori’s back trying to calm her down. “No, [Name] did the most fight, I only come in when it gets physical. I let ya know when I see that guy again I am going to beat the living shit out of him. Nasty jackass.” Atsumu’s rage calms down when he sees you and Midori laugh, finally he makes a safe space for you and her. After some minutes of calming down and talking and giggling Midori takes the cue to leave. “I think I need to go now, need to take some air, you should, too, babe. Love you” Midori hugged and left with the girl she was with the entire time during the party.
Atsumu has long left you and Midori alone when you were busy talking to her, so he goes away somewhere to talk with some of the boys from the football club. They heard something about how that guy is a maniac and has been expressing his hate crimes for several years now, basically a loser and Atsumu thinks his sucker punch is something he could take pride in. After he saw Midori take off with the girl he saw you heading towards the door that linked to the backyard. More people were there, some were laying on the ground doing some unnecessarily lewd stuff that Atsumu does not want to remember.
He saw you taking a seat on one of the stools that was set up for guests to sit. He brought a can of beer, intended to give you. As he approaches you were rubbing around the area on your throat which the bully from before had pressed on. You were still in pain. “Hey, needa drink?” Atsumu hands over the beer while he sits down on the stool next to you. “Ah, I’m sorry I don’t...drink around guys. Trust issues.” Atsumu furrowed his eyebrows and he finally got what you were trying to say. “Oh, I totally get it, I’m sorry.” You were a flustered mess. You didn’t intend to actually...reject a kind offer from him but it’s a strange new place and strange new environment, though you knew Atsumu from high school to be quite a decent person that you– “[Name]? Are ya okay? Ya were about to say something earlier?” “Oh, yeah. You don’t have to apologise, we can just go for drinks some other times'' you let out a small laugh and he smiles. Awkward.
“Ya don’t have to worry about that guy, I heard someone is going to report him to the dean. He’ll be out in no time” you smirked. “Good! Midori must be happy”. The both of you laughed and the conversation continued randomly, topics about his volleyball activities and you popping in some random thoughts about life to him, it makes him feel weird at first but he picks up after quite some time.
And the night goes with you spending your night with him on his small bed in the apartment he shared with his other friends. Kisses are littered all over your body and Atsumu leads you through your first intimate session with so much ease and gentleness. He left an especially passionate kiss on the neck that tells the stories of your fight and trauma, hoping that he could kiss it away and replace it with the memories of your first. “Are ya really sure about this?” Atsumu asked at one point when you were making out with him on his lap just right after he got you in his room. “Please, do what you want” and Atsumu continues to ravish you and pulls on every article that trapped your beautiful untouched body.
The morning he woke up, you were sleeping soundly, despite the uncovered chest you had on display cause you fell asleep after the second round of fucking you had no chance to clean up or put on a shirt. The messy hair and arousing look you had on aside, you look too peaceful to be on someone’s bed, someone who you have known for a long time but have only gotten close from an impromptu encounter so Atsumu threw the plans of getting out of bed aside and continues watching the small details on your face. He would pick up the falling strands of your hair and tucks it behind your ear, trailing his fingers on the swollen lips you had after making out with him the entire night. He enjoys your presence. He likes it, being with you, so this is all worth it.
As your eyes fluttered open, squinting because of the bright sun, which was now covered by Atsumu’s hands to help you get back to sleep without the disturbance. You woke up anyway. “Atsumu, what are ya doing?” you asked, trying to pull the blanket that barely covers your naked front. “Just letting a princess continue her peaceful sleep” you were blushing, it feels like a dream to wake up with Atsumu next to you, so you lean into him more and he tackles you under the sheets. As Atsumu closes in again, about to kiss you like he did the previous night before, your eyes widened and you pushed him away, rolling out of bed naked. You pulled the blanket to cover yourself and scrammed to find your underwear and outfit from last night. “Fuck, fuck I’m late shit I gotta go” you were clasping your bra and putting on your underwear as you continue with your series of cuss words picked up at random. “What’s going on are you okay? Was it–“ you put on your jean shorts and looked at him. “No-no I’m late to a group discussion and I am going to die I think.” You already had your phone in hand with your bag in hand running to the door. Atsumu put on his sweatshirt and training shorts in a haste, offering to give you a ride.
“Hey, I can help ya get to yer spot with my car. Don’t have ta rush'' you gaped and mumbles thousands of gratefulness and lunges forward to hug but stopped yourself. In the car you were on a phone call with one of the people in your group and you immediately spilled the idea you had in mind in a heartbeat. Atsumu has been driving nowhere so he stops and parked his car at the parking space of the nearby McDonald’s. After several arguments and reasons to have your opinion accepted you finally heaved a relief and ended the call with another apology.
“Yer quite a persistent one aren’tcha?” you looked at him, face messy, unclean and tired. The post-sex glow seems to not work with everyone. “Yeah, there’s an event and I’m in charge. I was so caught-off guard. Pretty sure they will kick me out if they don’t accept my idea but guess not!” you laughed and smiled gleefully. Pure satisfaction whenever people acknowledge us. Atsumu understood that much. “So...since you don’t have to go...breakfast?” Atsumu points his thumb to the back of the car, which was the entrance to the McDonald’s. “No...I stink so much...but I am hungry so....drive-thru?” Atsumu smiles and puts down the handbrake. “Sure thing, princess”.
After you both got your respective breakfast meal set, Atsumu takes off to the lake and brought you together with him to eat on the benches. Atsumu enjoys the company as much as you did. What starts off with a random conversation of how the duck is limping, to talking about the fluffiness of the poodle someone took for a walk turns into a conversation about each others’ personal lives.
“If anything, virginity is a social construct to put down women, so if you think last night is fun just because of that, I am going to berate your entire existence” you warn him, mouth full with the breakfast muffin. “Sure, what’s fun about last night is that you’re hot and I like you.” Atsumu closes in, trying to make you feel more flustered. “You...like me?” you were blushing and he guessed that his classic method works. “Can say that, I don’t usually have breakfast with people I sleep with, so I think that’s how I know.” You scoffed as his smug smile grew wider. “Oh you’re quite a cheesy one. So, this isn’t just a one time thing?” you looked over to him. He said no and continued kissing you like he meant it.
Days after that, the dates are frequent, spending the night in his apartment is a routine, watching movies is a norm and the intimate sessions get more interesting for the past few months, he thinks he needs to tell you all about his fantasy and you told him yours and both wishes are fulfilled.
Day 150
Atsumu woke up from the nap, the movie was already finished by then. He reached for his phone which was ringing non-stop. He's going to puke his brains out. Midori was the one calling him. There are around 7 missed calls coming from Midori.
“Oi pisshead, your girlfriend’s drunk. Come and pick her up.” Atsumu looks at the time
10.50
“Didn’t last that long?” Atsumu giggles. Midori snapped.
“I’m being serious. She gets crazier now you need to pack her up. I can’t because my girlfriend is as shit-faced drunk right now.” Midori starts to call out your name to get off the table. Whatever that happened it must have been really shitty what’s going on down there at the bar.
“Okay, just text me the address I’m on my way” Atsumu took his wallet and car keys with him, all fresh to fetch your drunk ass home.
As soon as he arrived he stormed to the booth which you and Midori sat at. You were already lying down on the couch, fast asleep and giggling as you sleep. “Okay you’re here. I’m going home with my girlfriend so you take care of her properly.” Midori sat herself at the couch you were sleeping on. “[Name].....I’m going now so take care okay! Love you goodnight!” you were whining so loudly at her. “Nooooo....Midoriiiii-chan I am going to miss you don’t leave me” you were pouting and whining and hug Midori to prevent her from going. Atsumu stood at the side watching the mess unfold. “Your boyfriend is here to pick you up! Goodbye!” Midori dragged her girlfriend away and got out of the bar.
“Midori’s good at lying. There’s no way my boyfriend cares ‘bout me” Atsumu covers his face in shame because the other customers at the bar are looking at you. “Who are ya...are you a stranger? Can I call you Mr Stranger? You look handsome.” You giggled and Atsumu laughed at your cuteness. This is certainly a new side to you, he has never seen you turn into a giant ball of fluff before. “Okay now cmon Miss [Name] let’s get ya home.” Atsumu swooped your legs in his right hand while the other supported the small back of your body. Your eyes are still squinting which must be the reason why you can’t recognise Atsumu yet.
“I miss my boyfriend Mr Stranger. I want to see him...please take me to see him pleassseeeee.” You buried your face in his chest and held on to the cotton string of his hoodie. “Oh yeah? Is he really that handsome?” he puts you in the passenger seat and buckles your seatbelt. “He is! His hair colour is a bit funny, Midori said it makes it look like he bathed in piss” Atsumu got that too many times already. “But in my very personal point of view, it is kind of biased, he rocks that look. He looks hot!” Atsumu blushed and proceeded to head to the driver’s seat. It’s you and your habit of expressing too many opinions again. He liked this one. He also misses your constants chit chat after a whole month of not talking to each other because of a petty argument. He admits that he misses you so much, but a jerk like him won’t admit it. He’s going to break up with you anyway.
As he continues driving he would listen to what you said about ‘your boyfriend’ and he would sometimes smirks and whispers an ‘I know’ and sometimes it is too loud you caught him in the act. The night drive seems fun with you, and he figures you are still too drunk and even with too much talking your body stays the same. You fell asleep at some point, when he is close to the apartment you resided in. He found out after quite some time that Midori moved into her girlfriend’s apartment so now you live alone.
Even after he arrives at the apartment complex he lets you take some time to sleep, and as time passes by and it’s getting later into the night, he shakes your shoulder to wake you up.
“Hey, [Name], we’re here.” Atsumu smiles as you yawn and stretches your limbs.
“Mr Stranger? I have a secret. Can I tell you...I’m afraid to tell anyone.” You said after some time. Atsumu had no idea what to do. So he just played along. “Yeah, I promise I will keep it.” Atsumu laughs and looks at you.
“I think my boyfriend doesn’t love me. I kind of got the gist of it for a long time...but...now I am convinced. I think...the next time I see him, will be the last time I see him. And I–I don’t wanna” you cried immediately, you were sobbing too hard and you covered your face with the both of your palms. Atsumu is shattered especially, what you said was true. He might break it off when time comes, but seeing your heart broken and giving up the usual happy and chaotic smile and laughter you had because of the thought of breaking up with him, he felt like his heart was going to jump out of his chest. So he asked further. He needs to know more, he needs to know why. Why do you catch up to what he was thinking so fast?
“W-why is it?” Atsumu choked on his breath. His heart was thumping so loudly, and it was beating off the charts. “He seems to not want me around...I tried my best to give him space, time for himself but....he never wants a time wimme....and then...I-he-he don’t want to see me even when he is free”. You continue crying in the silent car, Atsumu wanted to reach your hands but he knew that would be such an asshole thing to do since he is the one causing this mess. Atsumu got out of the car and opened the door from your seat. “Hey hey let’s get you to your apartment okay?” Atsumu unbuckled the seat belt and you kept on crying, you pulled on his sweater and gripped it so tightly and wailed like a baby into his chest. He sighed and embraced you in a tight hug, calmly rubbing the small of your back trying to calm you down.
After quite some time only the sniffles could be heard. You start talking again. “You know...I’d rather see him happy even if it means I need to break up with him. Ah I’m so dramatic for no reason. Can you help...carry me to my apartment, Mr Stranger?” you pulled away from his hug, makeup ruined and eyes red. Atsumu smiled and nodded at you. “Of course, I’ll carry you.” He carried you in a manner when he hugs your tiny body to carry you to the bed during one of those nights he needed a release. This closeness to your warm body, and the earlier event that happened of you confessing to a complete stranger about him, he is regretting it.
Day 125
Atsumu just got home from South Korea. He was there for a training camp with the home team there because one of his coach from the MSBY Black Jackals used his connections with an old friend to conduct a camp for them to further polish the players’ skill in the said sport. It would be a great chance for him to bloom more than how he is after his successful debut as a Div. 1 League player.
He was simply relaxing around after two days and Osamu was cooking plenty of food for the gang. Osamu invited some friends of his, and Suna brought his girlfriend with him. Komori was there too, with his cousin. When Osamu asked if he was going to invite you, Atsumu shrugged and said no, he wants to relax without you around. Even if you are around you would never go that far to make him uncomfortable. He still hasn’t called you yet even when he landed in Tokyo two days before.
“Atsumu, didn’t ya miss yer girlfriend? Just tell her to come over.” Osamu said from the kitchen, bringing a pot of stew he made for the gang and putting it on the table. “Nah, she didn’t even know I’m in Tokyo.” Everyone in the living room looks at him. “Miya you’re kinda an asshole for that” Komori said as he passed a bowl to Suna and his girlfriend. “Cmon now don’t look at me like I’m a criminal or sumn...I just want to relax I’ll tell her later.” Atsumu scoffed and leaned his back to the sofa as he was sitting on the carpet.
“Are you...joking. She came by practice the other day, said she can’t reach you.” Sakusa said as he put down his mask aside and dug in. Atsumu knew that. He purposely ignored your text and calls and only left a message when you’re offline or when he knows you were sleeping. He doesn't want distractions. “Yer a prick, [Name]’s really nice and ya can’t see that. If ya got issues just break up already.” Suna speaks and his girlfriend agrees. “Yeah for real, if Rintarou had issues I know he is going to leave my ass in the streets. But I’m glad he has no problems. As a woman I will honestly kick you in the ass, ya know, that woman with woman solidarity.” Suna kissed his girlfriend on the cheek and Atsumu scoffed. “I know, I just don’t know the right time yet.” Komori already mumbles a series of cuss words, Osamu and Suna sigh and Suna pulls his girlfriend back from kicking Atsumu in the face. Sakusa heard a doorbell and reached for the door now to open.
“[Name]?” Sakusa screams in shock. Speaking of the witch. Well, you’re not a witch, you’re the sweetest person ever that happens to be Atsumu’s unlucky girlfriend. “Hey Sakusa-san! Nice to see you! I brought something!” you waltzed in the door and headed to the kitchen you’re already familiar with. Atsumu felt his guilt eating his insides. Who the fuck called you here?
Komori puts his phone up so Atsumu can see. Komori smirks at him and Atsumu flashes out the middle finger to him. Sakusa mumbles and points at Atsumu, he said somewhere along the lines of you solve this on your own, Miya!
Osamu headed to greet you first. “Hey Osamu, I brought some home made dorayaki for you and Atsumu. You guys love it right?” Osamu smiles and thanked you endlessly. You smiled but as you looked at the awkward little Atsumu behind Osamu you stopped smiling. He headed towards you and Osamu knows it’s his cue to leave the both of you in the kitchen.
“Hey, how’s South Korea?” Atsumu sat on the chair of the kitchen island. “Twas good. The food there, they’re amazing.” You hummed. “Glad you enjoyed it. Maybe I would know more if you actually answer my calls and texts about how busy you are and tell me when you arrived. But it seems like you don’t miss me that much.” You sighed.
“[Name], I’m just...I’m sorry I need time for myself I’m so tired.” You looked at him, sad and gloom covering your whole body like the dark blue cardigan you had around you. “Tired of me or of practice?” you asked and reached for the tips of his fingers. “That’s–that’s not it, okay. Please give me some time.” Atsumu pleaded, you flinched when he suddenly glared at you.
After some time, you released a deep breath and headed to the door. “Enjoy the dorayaki guys, I hope I don’t interrupt you guys. I’m sorry and please take care of Atsumu for me.” You opened the door and headed out. Atsumu is still in his seat. When the door was slammed he got up and sat himself back on the carpet around his friends. He picks up his chopsticks and pulls the omelette Osamu made. Everyone was staring at him.
“Eat your food and stop staring at me.” Atsumu rolled his eyes and ate more food on the table. “Ya don’t even want to chase her?” Osamu asked from beside him. “Nope.” Komori scoffed.
“Just want you to know she got here by bus alone. I don’t know if it helped change your mind.” Komori said and drank his cold lemon tea he poured for himself. Atsumu stopped chewing and clenched his jaw, looking at Komori.
“The one who ruined lunch is you, Atsumu.” Suna’s girlfriend said and Suna agreed. So does everyone else.
You don’t leave a text to Atsumu to the day he picked you up from the bar. He only texted you because he wants to end the relationship.
Day 153
Atsumu still has you in his arms. You’re already asleep, face still drenched with tears. He struggled with the pin to your apartment but picks up after a while of thinking. It is his birthday.
Atsumu realised he is a bigger asshole than how he was minutes ago in the car as he remembered that he had never come to your apartment. Months of relationship it was always his place as you always preferred his place over yours and he thinks that maybe if he was the one giving in more effort to be the one going all the way to your apartment to spend time with you, he would have felt better about himself. Normal dates outside are very rare aside from lunch or a quick grab of coffee before classes because he was too busy with his practices and you with your duties as a political science student.
He carried you to what he assumed to be your bedroom, carefully putting your body on the bed, taking off the leather jacket you had with you, slowly dragging the thick comforter to cover your shivering body. After shuffling in the kitchen, looking to find some aspirin and a glass of water for you to gargle right after you woke up he put it on the desk at your bedside.
He saw a picture of you and Midori on the table, during graduation day. Midori carried you on her back while you threw a peace sign with tongue out and Midori making a disgusted face. He laughs at it, putting it back to where it belongs, carefully.
You had a lot of other pictures pasted on the wall, the one that faces you when you sit on your study table. The notes and thick books are messily arranged on the shelf, a succulent that says ‘Good Job!’ on the table standing cutely, possibly the one that kept you up during the late night study sessions. He never really checked up on you and your studies, how did you manage to be so strong on your own without a supportive boyfriend, he doesn't know.
And then he saw the pictures you hung neatly. He took the pictures one by one and saw some notes you scribbled on the back of the photograph.
First, a picture with your parents. You talked about them at some time because you’re their only daughter and you missed them as much as they missed you. One time when you were making out with Atsumu your parents called and you pushed him away to answer the phone call. So funny how you got so innocent and angel-like just right after doing some lewd stuff with Atsumu just with the voice of your parents on the phone. At the back of the picture, it wrote.
Secured the top-scorer title with a scholarship! Mommy and Daddy are proud of me and I will never stop!
The second picture is of you and Midori at a pride parade. This time you wore a white t-shirt with blue jeans and sneakers and you looked absolutely mesmerizing.
Pride with Midori. I am so happy for her!!
Some other pictures of you at an animal shelter, old folks home, in the streets, caring for homeless people, women’s march and marathon for cancer awareness. You were basically everywhere and it is what makes him regret not finding out about this side of you. All he does is talk about his talent in volleyball and you always make him feel the best that he never gave a chance for you to talk about yourself.
Atsumu can’t stop the stretch of his smile and it is making his jaw sore. He is so whipped for you. You have always been such a caring person to him, doing your best to take care of him when game losses make his sour mood make a nasty comeback.
He would cry in a phone call because he messed up his set and you arrived in his room, dropping your bag to hug him and lull him back to sleep. He cries so hard and you would never make him cry worse than he did, you were always comforting but his pride and selfishness would forget that in a day because he thinks the relationship you had with him is a waste.
Atsumu is a fool. He didn’t realise how much his confusion hurts you more than it hurts himself. He is such a fool for not being there to protect you. The thought of you crying minutes earlier makes him scream in his heart, he doesn't ever want to see it again. If he made that happen again he will never forgive himself and if he has to build a shrine and be a monk to make sure his sins are forgiven he would do it. He would do anything for you.
The last picture hid him the hardest.
It was him, and you, during his debut game as MSBY Black Jackals setter.
You had your body leaned into his arm, smiling wide with a bouquet of flowers for him in your hand. He was staring at the camera with a lazy smirk, hands encircling your waist. It was sweet, and you look very cute standing next to him, in his embrace like that. A sight so beautiful. It is a shame when he remembers what exactly happened that night.
It was a very joyful day for Atsumu and for you but Atsumu didn’t even tell you about the match, you were only informed of the game because of Komori so the ticket you got is because Osamu gave up his ticket for you. He is tired of seeing Atsumu play volleyball and he can see it on his phone if he wants so he just gave it to you, saying you deserve it better. Even when you’re not informed about the game, you still showed up in the cutest little dress with the cutest little smell and the cutest bouquet of baby breath flowers for him.
Atsumu is not fond of flowers. He is not fond of surprises either. When you showed up on the court, congratulating him, he was shocked. He was busy talking to fangirls and kids who love volleyball until you call out his name with so much pride.
“Atsumu aaaa I am so proud of you! You worked so hard for this and I am sorry I don’t know of this sooner.” You hugged him and pat his back when you hugged him. Eyes glistening as you pulled away. Said the cries are happy tears. You told one of the passers-by to take a picture of you and Atsumu, resulting in the small piece of photography in his hand.
Later that night he went with his team and celebrated the debut together with them while you took off to your apartment, barely making it to the last bus of the night to get there safely, wishing you were with Atsumu in his car instead.
He turned the picture over. There is a long note there.
Might be the first ever picture with Atsumu, like ever. Nonetheless I am so happy and so proud of him it made my jaw hurt so much as I write this. I can’t stop smiling!!! I hope I can attend more of his games, more to his success, more time with him. I feel like I am the happiest person alive! I feel like one of the fantasy film protagonists where the person they have loved for a long time is within their arms, finally! I am so happy to have known Atsumu since the beginning days of school, how his charming and cunning personality, inspiring and charismatic figure would walk down the hallways of Inarizaki, I will always fall for him over and over again. I love him so much, and even if it takes a thousand years to wait for him I will always wait. Praying that this essay reaches the Gods because I love him too much, I don’t even want to let him go. I love Miya Atsumu, and I hope he feels the same thing too.
Atsumu pasted the picture back on the wall, turning off the study lamp and closing the door as he walked out. He sat on the couch in the living room, only having the kitchen light to illuminate the entire apartment. As he sat there, tears rolled off his eyes and loud sobs spilled out of his mouth.
He realised he is such a foolish man, living in a complete lie with an angel from heaven taking care of him despite getting paid dust in return. He cried so hard he took the pillow next to him and cried himself to sleep.
Day 154
If it is not for the bubbling and disturbing feeling in your stomach, you wouldn’t have gotten up and run to the bathroom to puke your guts out, but here you are. Smelling so stinky you just take a shower along the way. Fresh out of the shower in clean new clothes you saw a tall glass of water with your birth control pills right beside it. After downing the glass of water you headed to the kitchen to grab an aspirin to calm down the throbbing pain of your chest.
What you found instead is the sight of Atsumu, wearing an apron on top of his white t-shirt. It has been way too long since you have last seen him, and you didn’t expect to encounter him in your apartment, let alone him in the kitchen, preparing a breakfast for two. “Atsumu! What are you doing here!” you screamed audibly to him and got to the table to see a tray of rice and a bowl of soup on the table.
“Ah, ya woke up earlier than I thought ya would, was intending to make breakfast on bed like in that one cheesy film you love so much.” You blushed. You headed to the cupboard and popped the aspirin into your mouth with the assistance of the barley tea Atsumu prepared for you.
As you sat down awkwardly, he pulled out the rice bowl and put the tray in the sink and scooped another bowl of rice and soup for himself. He prepared a hearty meal for two, a miso soup to help you sober down and ease the gut after rounds of alcohol shots dumped in your body.
Right, you were drunk last night. “So why are you here?” you asked after spooning out the final drop of the miso soup. “You remember nothing at all?” Atsumu asked. “Wait...so...Midori didn’t lie?” you asked again. Just realising that Midori already told you that your boyfriend was there.
“Oh my god...how much did I say?” you pressed your palms on your face and dropped them to your lap. Atsumu smiles.
“You said a lot! You said too much that it made me learn a lot.” Atsumu reaches your hands the moment it gets on to the table. He clasped it with care and so much gentleness even when his hand is calloused and rough from the intense training for so many days in a week.
Atsumu sighs and hangs his head low. “I just realised that all this time, our relationship is one-sided” you gasped and the grip on his hands gets tighter. “I...took you for granted. I never gave you a comfort space to live in, a shoulder to cry on, and I have never...expressed my feelings for you.” You were trembling and Atsumu fully connected your fingers with his, interlacing it together hoping that neither of you will let it go.
“All this time you were always there for me, no matter what I was struggling with, no matter the time and place you would rush and hug me and tell me that it will be okay but I let you cry on your own whenever you deal with the same problem. I made a big mistake, and I swear to my life that I will make it up to you.” You got up from your seat and went to the sink along with your empty bowls. Atsumu got there too, hugging you from behind.
“I am so sorry for being late, I love you. I love you so much that it hurts when I see you get hurt because of me.” Atsumu hugged you like he would make you dissolve in his body, it was so tight and warm and comforting it felt like home.
Miya Atsumu is your home. You are his home. And so he kisses your hair, your neck, your shoulders to make sure you won’t disappear before him, to tell you that what he said is true.
You turned around. Holding his head in your hands.
“Atsumu, I love you too, and I missed you so much.” You smiled as the tears dropped, and Atsumu thinks this sight of yours hurts him as much as it makes his heart feel warm. It was a mixed feeling, but he knows that the perfect moment is right there, he holds your waist and your neck and kisses you on the lips with so much need and passion, to tell you that he loves you.
Your hands went to wrap itself on his neck, occasionally stopping by to run your hair through the blonde locks you love so much. He kisses in deeper and languid motion; it makes your head drowsy, worse than what the alcohol did to you but the sensation is nice. The alcohol was bitter and you hated it, this kiss tastes sweet and flavourful and you love it.
Atsumu continues while he carries you towards the bedroom he left you in alone last night, slowly putting your body on the messy bed who still has the scent of you from last night. It is supposed to gross you out but Atsumu is making it harder for you to breathe so nothing really matters, and Atsumu loves the scent as much as you love his oozing warmth that makes your eyes roll to the back of your head.
He continues peppering kisses along your entire body, just like the night when you first spent together. Shirts off, pants off, underwear off. There’s nothing in the way of the both of you in the intense love-making session. Atsumu loves the way his name rolls on your tongue as he nibbles addictively on your neck, your chest and your tummy that is filled with the food he made for you, the love he had in store from his heart is delivered into you with so much ease. He plans to deliver some more as his kisses turn more passionate as the clock ticks, tongue intermingles and liquid drooling out of each other’s hot mouth.
Atsumu is already so eager to get inside you but he always has to prioritise you before him so he asked you. “Can I-can I get on with it now?” he asked, trying to recollect his breath at the same time while he looks for a particular wrapper in the drawer of your bedside table. “It’s fine, Atsumu, I’m on birth control.” You smiled at him and he smiled back, caressing your cheeks, touching your lips and tucking your hair behind your cute ears he loved to kiss so much. “You know, you mistook the birth control pills for aspirin that’s why I rummaged through the whole cupboard to look for one.” You gave him a glare so cute he continues kissing you. “My bad, baby. Can I get in now?” He asked with a teasing little smirk displayed on his stupidly handsome face.
“Yes, you can Atsumu.” You kissed him on the cheeks and hugged his neck as he entered. Inches by inches you sucked him in and he would kiss your temple to make you feel better after the stretch. The time away clearly made a lot of changes between the two of you, and it all makes this event more admirable than the ones before, because of the heartfelt confession you shared with him in the morning. All he wants to do is kiss your body like it is the only thing in this world worth worshipping. You are the most beautiful thing that ever happened in his life anyway, and he would never regret anything in his life anymore.
After the both of you peaked, he released into you, stayed there for a few minutes and took it out after he finally made your deep furrowed eyebrows disappear. You finally relax after the soothing time with your dearest one and he plopped himself next to you.
Atsumu opened his arms and you found him inside it, getting smooches here and there as he hugged you. He would play with your hair, draw stars on the naked back of yours, and you would draw circles on his chest as you listen to the small heart beat in him.
His heart was beating because of you.
“Hey, that noise in there is because of ya.” Atsumu kissed you on the forehead.
“Oh really, yer not special, Miya, listen to mine!” you said with a glare after hitting him playfully on his chest.
“Uhuh...can I kiss it? Like this?” Atsumu continues his attack on your chest and you laughed loudly as he starts skimming his fingers on your waist and your tummy. He was smiling and laughing into the attack.
Atsumu thinks that even if it is true that he is a fool, at least he is a fool that is so foolishly in love with you.
#Miya Atsumu#miya atsumu x reader#miya atsumu angst#haikyuu x reader#atsumu angst#atsumu reader#atsumu reader smut
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Okay I’ve been recently getting super into Karl’s streams because I just adore his puppy energy but, hear me out here.
Reader and Karl are friends right? And she goes and hangs out with him a lot and eventually one Saturday she convinces her BF, Techno, to come with her. He follows, mostly cause he’s bored and she’s persistent, they get to Karl’s place, Reader knowing instantly what to do gets up near Karl, grabs something Techno can’t see from where he’s standing, spins and belts out a song for Karl’s Karaoke. (The song playing in my ears right now is Talk Too Much)
Cue Technos surprise as he hears his s/o sing for the first time, grinning like a maniac. Reader tries to get him into it but he refuses until he watches Karl and Reader do a duet together (they’re best friends your honor) cause no one else would duet with him and he just gets up very bored my, lumbers over and snatches the microphone from Karl and does some soft deep number. Nothing energetic it’s gotta be deep and soft. (First thought is resting on Achilles Come Down)
After the singular song he doesn’t get up to sing again and you think he’s hated the whole experience but next Saturday you find him by the door ready to go with a bag in his hand. It isn’t til halfway through the time when he does his weird standing up, snatching the microphone from whoever was singing, setting it back in its stand and grabbing his bag before Reader realizes he brought a fuckin violin. Tommy or maybe Ghostbur get jazzed because “I REMEMBER WHEN MY BROTHER PLAYED THAT” and just-
GOOD SHIT!!!
With love- 🌻
Holy shit 🌻 you have my entire heart. This is so amazing. So so poggers. (Also, this is the only post for tonight! Hope you enjoy!!)
So yes, you and Karl are best friends and you two hang out a lot. But as more and more things happen on the SMP, you find yourselves spending less and less time together, which makes you sad. So as a compromise, you two decide that the two of you would hang out every Saturday night. No exceptions, no excuses, Saturday is for Y/N and Karl. And it works very well with you guys, sometimes you have dinner and talk or you play games and yes sometimes even karaoke. Even when you and Techno got together and he, Sapnap, and Quackity got together, you two never missed a Saturday. Sometimes though, Sapnap and Quackity tag along which is just fine with you. And if you could convince Techno (you never could but just in case haha), Karl would be fine with that. But everytime you ask Techno, he says no, he doesn’t want to intrude and he doesn’t really want to do some of the things you two do.
But that all changes on fateful Saturday. Techno had been gone for a majority of the week and had only gotten home in the early afternoon of the Saturday. You two had been cuddled up in bed, just cuddling, kissing, and catching up because you’d missed each other so much all week. But it gets to be that time and you try to leave your bed, but Techno has an iron grip on you. “Tech, babe, I’ve got to go” you whisper, pressing a few kisses to his face before landing one on his lips and smiling at him. Techno only pouts at you, “No you don’t. I just got home. You could stay here with me.” he grumbles, attempting to pull you closer to him, but you don’t let him. “I know baby, but you know Saturdays are spent with Karl… If you want you can come with, Sapnap and Quackity will be there so it won’t be awkward. We can have a fun time. My best friend and his s/os and me and my s/o. It will be fun, come on baby,” you murmur, running your hair through his pink locks causing him to sigh. He pretends to think for a moment before giving you a nod. You smile at him before easily weaseling your way out of his grip, pulling him with you. He steadies himself on his feet as you reach up and press a kiss to his lips before bouncing out of the room. “Come on baby, we’re going to be late.”
The two of you leave the house and make your way to Karl’s house. You throw open the front door without second thought, “Karl! We’re here!” There’s a bit of noise from further in the house before Karl calls back, “We’re??” you can’t help but laugh as you shut the door behind you and Techno before pulling Techno arm along with you as you move to where Karl’s voice was coming from. You make your way into the living room and find Karl hunched over what you know to be the karaoke machine and Sapnap and Quackity curled up together on the couch. “Yeah, we’re” you answer from the doorway causing all three men’s gazes to snap to you two. A huge smile grazes Karl's face at the sight of you two, Quackity gets a little nervous but is quickly comforted by Sapnap’s smile and a quick kiss. “Hey Techno! It’s great to see you!” Karl, ever the charmer and the kind heart, greets your boyfriend. Your boyfriend gives the man a small wave, “Hey Karl… Sapnap………….. Quackity.” The other two give the pink headed man a small smile and wave before turning their attention back to Karl. You pull Techno around the side of the couch and usher him to sit down and before you can sit next to him, Karl has grabbed your arm and pulled you to the machine. “Karl, I wanted to sit and relax with Techno for a moment,” you complain to your best friend. Karl just grins at you and shoves a microphone in your hand as music begins to play. You roll your eyes at how well your best friend knows you and he moves to sit next to his fiances. With all eyes on you, you decide to have fun. You belt out the lyrics and dance around just having fun. (This is the song! Talk Too Much by COIN!). Every once in a while one of the fiances would let out a cheer, edging you on. Techno though would just be staring at you with wide eyes, he had never heard you sing before, well maybe once but never this carefree.
The four of them clap in excitement after you finish and then bound over to the couch. Once again, you move to sit next to Techno, but are instead this time pulled down onto his lap with your back pressing against his chest and burying his face into the place where your neck meets your shoulder. “I didn’t know you could sing like that” he murmurs into the skin. You can’t help but melt a little bit as you relax further into him. “It’s just something we do for fun sometimes.” you murmur in response, your eyes watching as Karl stands up and picks out a song for himself to sing. “It was nice” That was the last words before Karl began his own song.
The two of you watched as each of the fiances sang their own solo. “Do you want to sing something?” You murmur, leaning back and turning your head slightly to talk to your boyfriend. Techno let out a huff and tightened his arms around you for a moment, “No” he answers simply as Sapnap and Quackity step up to the mic. The three of you watch Sap and Quack do a very cheesy duet together causing you and Karl to laugh loudly and Techno to hide his chuckles in your shoulder. When the two were done, they were pouting. “Hey! Stop laughing at us!” “Yeah we sang a very serious duet together” And when neither of you stop laughing Sapnap and Quackity plop down on the couch and fold in to each other, “Fine, see if either of us sing a duet with you Karl” Sapnap juts out, poking his tongue as his fiance. Karl immediately stops laughing and begins to beg his lovers to sing with him, but the two don’t budge. So Karl does the next best thing he can think to do. He turns to you with a wide pout on his lips and puppy dog eyes, and who are you to say no to your puppy dog eyed best friend? You let out a sigh before carefully removing yourself from Techno’s arms, despite the grumbles of protest, and join your best friend by the machine to sing a duet with him. Karl wouldn’t let you see what he picked but as soon as the music began, you almost lost it. Of course he would pick this song. It is not only about two “best friends” it is definitely bound to make his two fiances just a bit jealous. (It is the Bro Duet haha. Find it here)
The two of you goofed around and sang your hearts out, changing every “no homo” to “no hetero” Karl sang the first part and you sang the second. Throughout the song, Sap and Quack, although amused, were admittedly a little jealous, that should be them up there singing about how much they love each other. Techno on the other end of the couch was a little confused and a little jealous. He couldn’t help but wonder to himself if this had actually happened. Had you and Karl one time gone to the beach and you had to give Karl CPR? Had you gone to an amusement park and started choking on a turkey leg and Karl gave you the hymlick? Had the two of you fallen in love with each other? What the hell was happening? Toward the end of the song, Techno found himself standing up from the couch and walking toward you two. It surprised you, because Techno had literally told you he did not want to sing. But here he was, grabbing the microphone from you… in the middle of a song no less. Karl and you stopped singing as you stared at Techno who now held the microphone close to his chest. Almost as if reading his mind, you took a step forward and gently cupped his face, “It didn’t actually happen Techno. It’s just a song.” You comfort your boyfriend. Techno’s shoulders did a big relax at your words. “Sorry” he grumbles out, “Didn’t mean to interrupt your song.” You can only give him a warm smile at that. “It’s okay lover. Do you want to sing something now?” And to your surprise, Techno walks over to the machine and begins looking through the song choices. So you and Karl share a look before making your way back to the couch and sitting down. Karl was immediately engulfed in a huge hug by his fiance’s while you curled into the still warm spot that was Techno’s. Soft cello music rang from the machine as Techno awkwardly stood in front of you four, his eyes dancing around the room. Techno took a deep breath before his beautiful bass voice rings out into the room. His voice completely encaptures the four of you sitting on the couch and not even Quackity is making a single noise. Techno sings a beautiful rendition of Achilles Come Down, it quite literally brings tears to your eyes. But once he’s done and the song is over, Techno sets his microphone down and immediately walks over to the couch and sits down next to you, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you close to him. You try to tell him how good it was, but he kisses you to stop you. Later that night when you two go home, you try once again to tell him how amazed and impressed you were at his song, but he brushes your compliments off and kisses you again before cuddling you to sleep. And so, you figure he absolutely hated it and never wanted to do anything like it again.
So the next Saturday, you know is another karaoke night and this time Karl had invited the whole SMP to come. You were fine with it and you knew not everyone would show up. So when it was time to go, you looked everywhere in the house for Techno so that you could tell him goodbye but you could not find him. You were about to just leave when you hear your name being called from the front door. You rush to the door and find Techno standing there with a bag in his hand. “There you are. Are you ready to go?” Deciding not to question it, you give your boyfriend a smile and a nod before the two of you head out for Karl’s. When you arrive, there are quite a few people there, but not it’s definitely not everyone. You quickly find Karl and greet him with hugs before helping him get completely set up for the night. Techno hovers around you two, not really helping but not wanting to go around and socialize. Eventually he spots Philza and leaves your side briefly to greet his father.
Finally everything is set up and ready to go. So Karl calls out to everyone to please take their seats, it’s go time. I would like to say that you go first and sing another fun and upbeat song to get everyone hyped. (I do not have one in mind for this time) But it’s great and a total banger, we stan. So then when you’re done, everyone claps politely and Karl moves to take your place. So you bound over to Techno and sit on his lap. One after another, people went up and chose a song and sang their heart out. You don’t expect Techno to get up and sing. You thought he hated it last time so why would he do it again? But he surprises you, of course haha. But after listening to Quackity screech out a song that you honestly cannot tell what it was because of how much he was joking around and not actually trying his best to sing, Techno had had enough. He carefully moves you off of him, grabs his bag, and moves to the front of the room, snatching the mic out of Quackity’s hand. “Hey! I wasn’t done singing!” Quackity protests, reaching for the mic again. “I was done listening… we are all done listening” Techno shoots back. Quackity glances around the room, lets out a sigh, before shuffling over to his fiances and curling into their arms. Techno very quickly turns off the music and a sigh of relief sweeps over Karl’s living room, which makes you snicker behind your hand. You’re surprised when Techno doesn’t pick another song from the machine, but instead he opens his bag and pulls out a violin. You haven’t seen him play that violin in so long and it melts your heart to see him pull it out and bring it up to his chin. You watch in awe as he brings his bow to the strings and begins to play so beautifully. “Oh I remember when my brother played the violin! He was always so good at it! We used to play together all the time. He on violin, me on guitar… It was amazing,” you hear Ghostbur exclaim from somewhere else in the room. And he’s right, it is amazing. It’s even more amazing when Techno opens his mouth and lets his beautiful bass voice ring out into the room. It’s really truly an amazing thing to see. Techno not only playing the violin, but also singing. The room is dead silent and all attention is on Techno as he sings about his time as king, as the Blood God. Please find the violin cover here and the song he’s singing here. Song is Fallen Kingdom…. Yes that fallen kingdom hahahah).
When he’s done, the room is so silent you could hear a pin drop. Techno glances around the room in a panic and you can see his face flushes. You know the voices are going crazy, trying to convince him that he just fucked up and everyone hated it and hated him. So you slowly stand from your seat and begin clapping. Heads snap to you as you clap. Philza quickly joins you, standing up and clapping. Slowly everyone joins you, and then everyone at once. Techno gets a standing ovation from the crowd. This makes his blush even harder and he quickly takes the violin off his shoulder and puts it back into the bag. You don’t let him get off the makeshift stage though, you quickly walk up to him, grab his now empty hands causing him to freeze and look at you. You just simply leaned up and pressed a sweet kiss to his lips. “That was amazing Techno” you mumble against him. He hums in response, kissing you back. “Oh it was nothing” he murmurs back. After a few more moments, the two of you pull apart and you give him a small smile, “sing a duet with me?” you ask him as the applause dies down. Techno looks hesitant, but one quick glance around the room at the encouraging smiles, he decides one more song couldn’t hurt. He lets you pick out the song and his heart almost melts at the choice. (Here is the song. It is Come What May from moulin rouge). Your voices meld so well together and it doesn’t leave a single dry eye in the house. Again, once you’re finished the room is roaring with applause. Literally everyone is crying. Like it’s so obvious you two love each other and that you two mean the words you’re singing in the song. You two end the song with another very passionate kiss as everyone claps so hard they’re all sure their palms will be red and sore the next morning. You and Techno pull apart and you have matching grins on your faces as you set down your mics and move back to the couch to cuddle again. It takes a hot minute for anyone to step up to the machine, not wanting to follow that amazing performance, but slowly Karaoke night gets back on track. Neither of you two get up to sing again though. You’re just content to sit in your boyfriend’s lap and he’s just content to hold you. As you snuggle into him, Techno thinks over the past two Saturdays and he decides quietly to himself that maybe spending Saturdays with you and the fiances wouldn’t be so bad… I mean he actually had fun. He deserves to have a bit of fun every once in a while.
#ray responds#🌻 anon#🌻 anon has the biggest brain ever#🌻 anon has my whole heart#mcyt#mcyt x reader#mcyt imagine#mcyt drabble#technoblade#techno#technoblade imagine#technoblade x reader#technoblade drabble#karl#karl jacobs#sapnap#quackity#karl jacobs imagine#karl jacobs x reader#they're best friends your honor
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GF & MvsM - Wanna Talk About Dinos?
This crossover was inevitable. It just works too well. Maybe one day i’ll write a fic about how the folks at Gravity Falls handled the robot-apocalypse. Probably shrugged it off. “Eh. We’ve had worse.” Haha! What if Stan and Ford, cuz they were out sailing, had no clue what happened and when they came back they were like, “Wait, what?”
For now, please enjoy this fic of Aaron making a new friend...
(credit goes to @stephreynaart for her OC Jacob) ~~~~~~~~~~ “Hi, would you like to talk to me about dinosaurs?”
Aaron asked this question more times than he could keep track of, but that wasn’t going to stop him from asking it. It started as a dare from his big sister two years ago, but now it’s a fun hobby. When fifth grade isn’t overwhelming him, scaring him with mountains of homework and horror stories about how hard middle school is going to be, and when he’s run out of YouTube videos to catch up on, he is on the hunt for fellow giant-lizard-lovers like a hungry Ceratosaurus.
“No, okay bye.” But it did get a little tiring to always cross out names and phone-numbers on the phone book with red ink. Hey, a dinosaur of a way to find phone-numbers was appropriate. He read the next number, dialed it, and after a ring or two he asked, “How would you like to talk with me about dinosaurs? No, okay thank you.”
Aaron crossed out another name and sighed, taking a break since he reached the end of a line of numbers. Maybe he should just be grateful for Abbey and accept that no one else wants to talk about the Jurassic Period. Or the Cretaceous Period. Or the Triassic Period. But then a big, old, gray-tinted ad distracted him. He grinned, thinking it would at least be fun to give them a call, and he dialed the number.
Private home phone-numbers were fun, but businesses were also fun! Poor, bored workers would gladly talk to him rather than crabby Karens, and they got paid for it! So Aaron smiled as the phone rang, and he grinned when someone picked up.
“Thanks for calling the Mystery Shack, you’re talking to Mr. Mystery himself! How may I befuddle or bewilder you?”
“Hi! How would you like to talk with me about dinosaurs?”
“Oh, dude! I’d love to, but I’m scheduled for a tour of the Oddity Museum in three minutes.” The man said, and Aaron grinned continuously, because it sounded like Mr. Mystery really wanted to talk with him about dinosaurs. “But hey! Can you hold on for one minute, I think I know a guy!”
“Yeah, sure mister!” And Aaron was greeted by the sound of a catchy jingle about buying t-shirts and mugs and snowglobes. He smiled and wiggled his feet along to the music as he looked outside at the beautiful late-fall afternoon, entertained while he waited.
~~~~~~~~~~
Soos was on the hunt. He planned out the house in his head. Abuelita was taking a nap upstairs, Melody was organizing the upcoming tour, and Stan took Jacob out for ice cream, so he might be…
The owner of the Shack grinned when he stopped at the doorway and saw the man he was looking for, sitting in Stan’s chair, reading a book.
“Uncle Ford!”
The old sailor smiled up at the young man. “Yes, wh-...”
“Do you think you could answer the phone for me? I have a tour and I think this customer’s request is right up your alley.”
“Uh… sure, but w-...”
“Thanks, you’re the best!” And Soos was gone before he could address Ford’s confusion.
Ford was a bit lost, having little to no business with business, but he had learned at this point to trust Soos, so he picked up the phone beside him and was immediately greeted with a sweet, “How would you like to talk with me about dinosaurs?”
Ford grinned and closed his book. “I would love to! All three periods are equally as fascinating to study, but the Triassic contains some of my favorite dinosaurs!”
A young voice gasped on the other line. “Mine, too! Everyone thinks the Jurassic period is so great, and it’s pretty cool, but the Triassic gave us Plateosaurus and the Brachiosaurus!”
“That’s very true! You know, it’s very interesting, maybe depictions don’t include feathers at all, which is a bit frustrating, but perhaps after the news has spread they will incorporate more feathers on merchandise and textbooks.”
“YES! That’s what I wanna do when I grow up, help draw better-accurate dinosaurs!”
~~~~~~~~~~
The phone rang on Sunday. The Shack was closed today, so Stan lazily answered it and was greeted with, “Wanna talk about dinosaurs?”
“Sixer, phone for you!”
Ford ran into the living room, elbowed his twin out of the chair, and took the phone. “Hello again, Aaron! Now, where were we? Right, so Australopithecus. … No, I don’t think… Oh! No, homo habilis was erect, Australopithecus was never fully erect.”
“Maybe he was nervous.” Stan groaned, getting to his feet.
Ford shot him a look as thankfully the young boy on the other end didn’t catch that and happily shared some more fun-facts about homo habilis.
~~~~~~~~~~
While most college students were excited for Spring Break so they could get drunk or lose their virginity, Katie was excited because her family had planned a special secret roadtrip. She was careful to keep up with her family and talk to her parents and brother frequently, but Aaron had a hobby he wasn’t talking about that his parents found out and were thrilled about. Aaron had made another friend.
Rick and Katie did some research and the tourist attraction sounded right up their alley! In the middle of the woods, tons of weird stuff, and a fun roadtrip filled with diners and attractions. They decided to surprise Aaron, and they made up a lie that they would spend Spring Break in California with Katie so she could show her family around San Francisco, when in actuality they would be traveling up the state to the Redwood Highway and see the oddity place, and maybe even allow Aaron to meet his new pen-pal. Or, um, phone-pal.
So after bombarding Katie with hugs the Mitchells threw her luggage into the car and drove off. Aaron turned to Katie and excitingly asked, “So where are we going first? Can we go fix the Golden Gate bridge by painting it gold?”
Katie laughed and ruffled his hair. “Maybe later, right now I wanna show you guys this fun store right outside of town. Here, check out the videos I made for my classes!” And she pulled out some airpods and gave one to Aaron.
“Cool!”
Rick and Linda smirked at each other as they drove north. By the time they reached a little diner in Redding, CA, it was very clear to Aaron that they weren’t in San Francisco anymore. “Come on, just tell me where we’re going!” The boy begged as he fed Monchi a fry.
“The best kind of prizes are the surprises.” Linda quoted.
“Eric, Deborahbot5000, where are we going?”
“Sorry, Aaron, we cannot give that information.” Eric said, he and the other robot sitting politely in their seats, happy to be a part of the social interaction.
“Yes, Mother will bury us if we disobey.” Deborahbot said matter-of-factly.
“What?! No I won’t, sweeties.”
“Won’t you ground us?”
The family laughed and Aaron let the topic go; if he was honest, he loved a good surprise. The big family stopped in a motel just at the California-Oregon border, and the next morning after muffins and coffee and orange juice they were on the road again, passing dozens of trees that made Rick feel at home. Katie happily recorded the trip, trusted to be the documenter for another fun roadtrip, with hopefully not as much mortal peril.
Aaron watched as they left the highway for a simple road, and they passed a big sign. The boy gasped and caught what was happening. “No WAY! Really?!”
“You know, I hear this Mystery Shack even has a Sasquatch.” Rick commented while Linda pulled out a pamphlet from the glove box.
“It says here it’s full of odd things you’ll never see anywhere else, even a dinosaur footprint…”
“Wasn’t there a rumor of there being a Bottomless Pit?” Katie asked, pointing her camera at Aaron to get his reaction.
“Thank you thank you THANK YOU!!!” Aaron cheered, hugging his Dad’s neck and kissing his Mom’s cheek.
“Hey, no worries, buddy.” Rick eased, fixing his shewed glasses. “We wanted to see this place, too!”
“Why don’t we eat a quick lunch and then we’ll take the backroad for the attraction? There’s a coupon in here for a diner made from a giant log!”
And so after being served by a pretty blonde teenager at Greasy’s, they drove through town to get to the backroad. Signs made them confident that they were going the correct way, as well as Eric and Deborahbot5000’s GPS. Then as they turned a corner, a big triangle-shaped building came into view. Aaron grinned at the giant sign with a missing letter. People were already leaving, arms full of souvenirs and one or two already wearing their new hats or t-shirts. Once Rick parked in the Free Parking Lot, Aaron spilled out of the car and ran for the shack, but he stopped.
Katie caught up to him and patted his back. “You cool, man?”
Aaron shrugged, holding his hands in front of him and his shoulders up to hide his face a bit. “I-I dunno… What if… What if he doesn’t like me?”
“Hey, I get it.” Katie admitted. “When I first met my friends I was really nervous. I had talked to them online for weeks and I was worried it wasn’t gonna be what it was all cracked up to be, but it was. Your system worked! You found another dino-lover! You earned this moment. Just take in a deep breath and be yourself, cuz you’re a pretty cool dude.”
Aaron smiled up at his big sister. “Thanks.”
Trusting Eric and Deborahbot5000 to watch Monchi and make sure he used the bathroom, the Mitchells went inside the shack. On the porch there was an ice cooler, a sign reading schedule times for tours of the Oddity Museum, a Help Wanted sign, and two rocking chairs with a game of checkers between them.
Inside the store a few customers filled up the gift shop, alongside t-shirts, snowglobes, a vending machine, a door beside ti that read Employees Only, a bookshelf full of comic on one side and old newspapers claiming alien sightings on the other, a fish tank holding a monkey-mermaid, and barrels full of spaceship keychains and dino claws. A new section called Camping Stuff caught Rick’s eye, selling backpacks, lanterns, flashlights, batteries, canteens, and compasses. Katie opened a comic called Lil’Stanley and laughed at the swears, taking a pic and sending it to her friends’ group chat. Linda looked into the barrel full of patches and grinned at all the fun designs, while Aaron stared happily at the mer-monkey.
The Employees Only door opened and closed and Rick watched as a man in a suit, fez, and eyepatch walked up to the lady at the register and kissed her cheek. The woman smiled lovingly and left while the guy who resembled a gopher checked a customer out. Rick waited until the buyer left to approach the register, leaning an arm on the counter.
“Welcome to the Mystery Shack, dude!”
“Thanks! So, this is gonna sound weird, but my son Aaron talks to a guy here about dinosaurs…”
“No way!” The owner interrupted excitedly. “Good to see you, dudes! I’m Mr. Mystery! Wow, you guys came a long way, huh?”
“Nah, only from California. My daughter is attending art school there.”
While the men chit-chatted and Linda joined them, Katie noticed a guy walking up to Aaron and looking at the mer-monkey. She smiled and tried to read the comic without being too nosy, but she kept her senses on her brother.
“Hm, quite fascinating, isn’t it?” The man in the blue hoodie said. “But I think my favorite is the fossilized footprint. Could be Nanuqsaurus hoglundi.”
“The Polar Bear Lizard?” Aaron clarified, touching his chin as he looked at the dino-print, his back to the man he was talking to. “Maybe, but they’re from Alaska. It’s possible plate tectonics did cause some fossils to be relocated here, but it could also be a Nanotyrannosaurus lancensis footprint.”
“The Dwarf Tyrant? Could very well be. Would you like to talk about dinosaurs after your tour?”
Aaron’s eyes widened as the voice was finally familiar to him. He turned and looked up to find an old man smiling up at him. He had fluffy gray hair with a white stripe running around his scalp, wrinkles by his eyes due to smiling, a cleft chin, glasses, and wore a blue hoodie with a maroon sweater underneath. His hands were behind his back and he smiled down at Aaron warmly, while the boy was jittery and overly-excited. He took in a sharp breath and had to fight every muscle to keep from leaping through the screen door.
“H-H-Hi…” He peeped. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Y-Yeah, sure! I’d love to! I’m Aaron! Er, wait, you already knew that.” And he held out a hand to shake.
His phone-pal, Ford, chuckled and got on one knee to be eye-level. “Greeting, Aaron! It’s nice to formally meet you.”
Aaron shook his hand and noticed something. He had six fingers on his right hand. A quick glance told Aaron he also had six fingers on his left hand. Aaron grinned with sparkling eyes at his new friend, while the old sailor smiled warmly at the boy that reminds him of his niece and nephew when they were young.
#GF#mvsm#mitchells vs the machines#gravity falls#ford pines#soos ramirez#aaron mitchell#katie mitchell#rick mitchell#linda mitchell#eric and deborahbot5000
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tbh i love that julie's fam is so so supportive and her dad and brother's reactions to her singing... omg just rip my heart out pls. and yess the lack of toxic masculinity between luke, alex, and reggie! tbh i have never seen a show that displays the level of affection and pure joy between those teen boys like... ever??? especially when typically, esp with alex being gay, shows always play off guys affection with an emphasis of OMG WERE NOT GAY. and its like wtf chill out & also who cares?
Julie’s family is one of my favorite dynamics on the show. Carlos isn't the “ew familial affection, get out of my room, I hate my annoying sister” type of kid brother that we’ve all seen like billions of time on our screens. He shows affection in ways we’ve all longed to see -“I’m just trying to protect you” and ‘I’m not afraid to hug you’ and ‘my older sister is playing music again!’ and “there can be two men of the house” (like this kid is really something else). JATP said no to cliche family relations and gave us warm beautiful healthy relationships between family instead. Ray Molina is also such an affectionate soul with the way he acts around both his children - their little finger hugs (pls do not call me out on the way I phrased this im-), the constant check-ins with Julie and asking her how she’s doing (he’s 100% doing the same with Carlos too)- and the way Ray is willing to go far and wide to fulfill his kids’ wishes (ie. moving out, looking for a performing art school for Julie, supporting Julie and Carlos’ endeavors: music (he allowed a house party band performance!!! for goodness sakes!!!) and ghost hunting respectively) and his excitement for both Julie and Carlos (the rain of paper when Julie told him she got her spot back in her school and the mini french dip chef arc). One moment in particular that I absolutely love is when Ray comes into Julie’s bedroom and suggests she see Dr. Turner again but he notices immediately that Julie has tensed at the mention of therapy, he turns that conversation around so fast to make sure Julie is comfortable again (JUST INCREDIBLE - LEARN PARENTING FROM RAY, KIDS). And don’t get me started on Tia Victoria. This woman said ‘no, I have adopted the Molina family now and I will protect and care for them and they will not be eating leftovers or takeout! not on my watch.’ I want to see so many more moments of interactions between Tia and both Carlos and Julie and I want to see her interact with Ray more. Tia Tori epitomizes support and I want to see so much more of that, we need more of that.
One of the things I absolutely love about this show is how nonchalant everyone is about Alex being gay. Luke mentions it in passing so we are not left guessing about Alex’s sexuality especially in the way he visibly gulps in his first meeting with Willie with that “ah shit I'm gay for him” look on his face. He’s just gay. Nothing more to it. Making sexuality something that is finally casual in 2020 (even though it should’ve been casual eons ago) makes this show stand out like no other (Kenny effing Ortego did that!!!). And on the same line of thought, even though Luke and Reggie know that Alex is gay, they treat him no different; there is no lesser affection between the boys because of it, there’s no “no homo” moments. They don’t react when Alex says “no <3” (which is improvised by Owen Joyner- wth??? INCREDIBLE!) when Reggie says “girls, right?” They are just a couple of teenage boys being teenage boys who love and adore each other.
Luke is the most affectionate boy I’ve ever laid eyes on. This boy LITERALLY writes songs for his boys (see: crooked teeth). The scene between Reggie and Luke where he’s trying to show the boys that he has limitless chemistry- bruh that just got me! He is not afraid to be touchy feely (let’s be honest, it’s his love language) and I just want to see more of it in s2. To be honest, they are all really really really touchy-feely and like I’ve said before, they took toxic masculinity and lit it on fire. They are not afraid to support each other, hold hands and hug, they pick up on each others’ cues, they find each other on stage and give each other space. And they are so quick to pull Julie into their chaos and make her part of their little overjoyed puppy family. And you can see that these are not just their roles. Charlie, Owen, Jeremy and Maddie have the same form of companionship, they are best friends, they are family and it shows in complete fashion on screen. GIVE ME MORE OF THESE LOVEABLE DORKS IN SEASON 2 OR ELSE.
#julie and the phantoms netflix#julie and the phantoms#julie molina#ray molina#carlos molina#victoria molina#tia victoria#jatp alex#jatp luke#luke patterson#jatp reggie#willie jatp#willie#jatp netflix#jatp#julie and the himbos#hilow answers#myjatpposts#my jatp analysis
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do you know that reddit post that's like "i'm in quarantine with my roommate (we're both dudes) and we've been cuddling together a lot. am i gay?" because at least to me it has big olliewicks vibes
hey dude! i’m sorry this is so late, but hopefully you’ll like it!
Ollie groggily awakens to the feeling of two strong arms wrapped around his stomach, holding him close and grounding him. He lets out a sigh of contentment before squeezing his eyes shut and burrowing his head slightly further into the tangle of bodies, pursuing the warm heat of the other person. The body beneath him shifts slightly, emitting a slight groan and disturbing Ollie’s brief peace. That’s when he realises three things.
They’re in the middle of a pandemic.
His only human contact in the past two months, other than cashiers at their local grocery store, has been Wicky.
The person beneath him is definitely Wicky. Ollie can feel it in every plane, every angle, every curve of the body he’s laying on top of. It’s in the way that Wicky’s breathing slightly stutters after every inhale. He knows it’s Wicky because every inch of Wicky’s body is unique and Ollie’s memorised all of them. So yeah, definitely Wicky.
Ollie takes a moment to just breathe and catalogue the situation. He cracks an eye open and he immediately heaves a sigh of relief; they’re both wearing clothes, which means that they didn’t do anything that either of them might regret. Well, or at least, nothing that Ollie might regret; he can’t speak for whether or not Wicky might regret even cuddling him, let alone anything else.
He cranes his neck slightly to catch sight of the TV, where the Netflix Are you still watching? screen stares back at him. Oh yeah, they’d been watching Tiger King together on the couch before they’d fallen asleep on top of each other.
Ollie braces his hands on either side of Wicky and slowly rolls off of his best friend, careful not to land on the squeaky couch spring and wake him up. He slides slowly to the floor and places his head in his hands.
Fuck.
He squeezes his eyes shut and groans as quietly as he can into his palms. He’s been doing so well at tamping down his crush on Wicky up until now, but something inside of Ollie has ignited after spending the night in such close proximity to him. He’s not sure if he’ll be able to pretend when Wicky wakes up that he didn’t savour every moment that his skin was pressed against Wicky’s, that he doesn’t know exactly what Wicky looks like when he’s sound asleep, that he hasn’t memorised the way their chests rose and fell against each other in perfect synchrony.
Ollie shakes his head before pushing himself to his feet and padding into the kitchen to get breakfast. That’s enough thinking for today.
----
Ollie shifts his weight from side to side as he leans outside of George’s office and listens to the sound of chairs scraping behind the door. Thank fuck, they’re almost done; he’s been leaning against this wall for twenty goddamn minutes and his feet are aching. He straightens up as the door swings open and he plasters a grin on his face; no matter how annoying a long wait is, scowling probably isn’t the best first impression when you’re meeting your new employer.
However, Ollie’s grin disintegrates when he sees the guy that comes out of the office and instead his mouth drops open.
Holy fuck.
Ollie unashamedly stares at the guy as he ambles down the corridor. God, every inch of him is pure perfection. From cheekbones that could cut glass, to wide brown eyes that seem to reflect and emit light until the whole corridor illuminates with this guy’s presence. From the lopsided grin that plays across his face, to the biceps that are way too big for the sleeves of his Falcs t-shirt. Ollie lets his eye’s slide to the guy’s ass; yeah, that’s definitely a hockey player.
He’s stunning.
And, the little voice in the back of Ollie’s mind pipes up, a teammate.
Ollie slumps down the wall again and groans. He’s so fucked.
----
Ollie had hoped that he’d be able to avoid all thoughts of his crush on Wicky for a while, well, preferably forever. He’s always been so careful to never let their cellies on the ice go too far, never letting Wicky kiss him on the helmet like he does every other player, never letting their hugs last for too long, never actively seeking out physical affection from him other than quick bro hugs and a slap on the back.
The universe has other plans for him apparently.
That one night of couch cuddling seems to have opened the floodgates, because all of a sudden Ollie’s inundated by a tidal wave of physical affection from Wicky and it’s just becoming too difficult. Too difficult to ignore the onslaught of butterflies in his stomach when their hands brush slightly when they’re reaching for the salt at the dinner table. Too difficult not to stare at him when they’re watching a movie next to each other on the couch and he shifts over slightly so that their legs are touching. Too difficult to even begin to process and cope with the fact that Wicky has started coming into Ollie’s room to fucking cuddle with him. It’s too difficult because Ollie is finally allowing himself to hope and he doesn’t even fucking know if Pacer, Wicky, Pace, is anything other than straight.
It’s just too goddamn difficult to be around his best friend.
Ollie smiles down at where Pacer has tucked himself underneath his right arm, eyes softly shut and a peaceful smile playing across his face, and he feels his heart breaking. If he wants to preserve their friendship beyond this quarantine in any way shape or form, he needs to stop indulging himself like this. What if Pacer’s angry because Ollie’s taken advantage of him because Ollie’s using this- this thing between them to selfishly fulfill his own wants? What if Pacer’s only comfortable doing this because he thinks Ollie’s straight? What if-
Ollie squeezes his eyes shut and curls his hand into the sleeve of Pacer’s shirt, forcing that line of thought to come screeching to a halt before it becomes a trainwreck. He needs to stop thinking like that; Pacer’s not gonna abandon him after three years of friendship and being lineys because of some no homo, bro bullshit. Or at least, Ollie hopes he wouldn’t. Pacer’s not that kind of person.
(Aww, fuck. He also needs to stop referring to him as Pacer in his head. He needs to distance himself from Wicky somehow, and he’s definitely not going to pull away from him physically, especially as they’re each the other’s only source of human contact for the next month or nine, so emotional distancing will have to do.)
He heaves a sigh and lets himself slump against the headboard, careful to make sure that Wicky’s head doesn’t fall too quickly from where it’s leant against Ollie’s shoulder. Wicky stirs at the sudden movement and his eyes slowly open, a sleepy beam playing across his face and chestnut eyes staring intently at Ollie like he’s the moon gazing upon the sun.
Ollie muffles a groan. He just doesn’t know what to think anymore.
----
The second that Ollie and Pacer Wicks step onto the ice together for the first time it feels electric. They complement each other in every way; Pacer skates slightly faster than Ollie does, whilst Ollie has a slightly more accurate pass that finds Pacer every single time. It’s like they were made for each other.
It’s fantastic.
(It’s torturous.)
Ollie finds himself spending even more time with Wicky than he originally planned for, and things just keep going from good to great.
(They go from bad to worse)
They have the same taste in films to the extent that they now have a monthly The Princess Bride rewatch. They’re both cat people and it’s slipped into their pre-game routine to go for a walk together, looking for the neighbourhood cats and calling pspspspsp to them in the hopes that they’ll come running and grant them good luck before the game. They’ve won every game that they’ve stroked a cat before, so Ollie isn’t really inclined to let go of the superstition, and, judging by the way Wicky grins at the little fuzzballs, Wicky is equally reluctant to stop their pre-game walks. The best thing they have in common is that both of their leases are up at the end of this month; who’s Ollie to pass up the opportunity to live with the guy that’s rapidly becoming the most important person in his life?
(Ollie’s an absolute fool. Living with Wicky is going to kill him very slowly and definitely isn’t the way to rid himself of a crush that’s quickly morphing into something even more serious.
Ollie is, once again, fucked.)
----
Ollie tries to pull away slowly rather than withdrawing all physical affection at once. It’s painful, but if it keeps Wicky from hating him, Ollie will gladly do it. Heck, if it was to protect Wicky, Ollie would do anything.
He starts slowly. He shifts over a bit on the couch, leaving a deliberate gap between them on the couch, so that no wandering limbs can reach out for each other. He makes sure to hold out the condiments at dinner, so that there’s no way for either of them to find an excuse for their fingers to touch, no matter how much Ollie hungers for it. He starts spending more time in his room, doing his online college courses there, rather than in the living room like he usually does. He goes to bed earlier, hoping, wishing, praying that Wicks doesn’t try to join him for a cuddle.
(Ollie ignores the little voice in the back of his mind that’s screaming to feel the press of Wicky’s warm body against his again. He ignores the wounded glances that he receives from Wicky every time he avoids eye contact. He ignores the aching pangs inside of his chest that appear whenever he spends too long gazing at Ollie.)
----
Moving in together is the best idea and the worst idea that Ollie’s ever gone along with.
Pros: He gets to spend every day with Wicky.
Cons: Spending every day with Wicky might actually kill him soon. RIP Oliver O’Meara. Cause of Death: Walking into the kitchen and seeing Wicky topless and sleep rumpled, muscles rippling as he reaches for the coffee.
Pros: He knows Wicky almost as well as he knows himself.
Cons: He now knows that Wicky is hung up on someone after one particularly drunken ramble.
(Fuck.)
----
It’s a week after the first cuddling incident that Wicky pulls open the door to Ollie’s room and marches in, eyebrows lowered and eyebags darker than ever. Ollie immediately slams the lid of his laptop shut, straightening up from where he’s slumped against the headboard of his bed. He frowns. “What’s up, Wicky?”
Wicky freezes on the other side of the room. “What’s up?” he says, voice cracking and strangled. Yikes, this must be worse than Ollie thought it was. “You’re asking me what’s up?” He drops onto the bed, like a stone sinking to the bottom of a river. “You’re the one that’s disappeared recently.” He pushes the heels of hands into his eyes. “We used to do everything together and now whenever I look for you, you’re in here.” He tears his hands away from his face, to gesture frantically around the room. Wicky appears to be manic; his hair’s all ruffled and there’s this slightly crazed look in his eyes. “What did I do, Ol?”
Ollie scrambles out of bed to come and sit next to Wicky. He stretches out a hand to comfort Wicky, but withdraws it as he fumbles for what to do or say. “You didn’t do anything, Pace,��� he says softly, resisting the urge to reach out and swipe away the tears that are trickling intermittently down his cheeks. “It’s me that’s the problem.”
Wicky raises an eyebrow at him, stare stern in spite of the crying. “Really? So you’re completely fine with me cuddling you? And definitely didn’t start shutting down any of my attempts to spend time with you?” Ollie flinches and Wicky scoffs. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
“I-” Ollie trails off, eyes wandering until his gaze meets Wicky’s. The look in Wicky’s eyes isn’t scornful, no matter how much it deserves to be, instead his eyes are calm and fathomless like the earth after a long-anticipated rain. “I didn’t want to hurt you, though I clearly failed in that respect. I’m just so worried that you’re going to think less of me, especially once I tell you that-” Ollie clamps his mouth shut, as words he’s barely even thought to himself start to tumble out into the open.
“Tell me that..?” If Ollie didn’t know any better, he’d think that there was a trace of hope in Wicky’s voice. “C’mon, Ol, I’m not gonna leave you, no matter what you say.”
Ollie rubs his hand across his eyelids before stuttering out, “I’m in love with you.” Shit, that is not what he meant to say. “Fuck, I mean, I like you. Romantically.” He hides his face in his hands. “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, so I figured going cold turkey for a couple of days might do me some good.” He pulls his hands from his face suddenly and lets them drop to his knees. “Is that what you wanted to hear? That I like you? That I might be, fuck it, I am in love with you?”
The silence in the room answers that question for him and Ollie feels a tear roll down his face and a gutteral sob tear its way from his throat.
“Fuck, Ol,” Pacer says, scrubbing a weary hand across his face, and that’s when Ollie knows that it’s all over, that he’s going to be rejected by the most important person in his life. “That’s definitely not what I was expecting, but it’s not unwelcome by any means.”
It’s not?
Ollie suppresses a sniffle as he voices this sentiment aloud.
Pacer laughs, honest to God, laughs. “It’s actually very welcome, considering the fact that I’ve been pining for you since long before you got traded to Providence.”
He’s what-?
“I-” Ollie stumbles over the words, cheeks heating, “but you’re straight? And you’re hung up on someone?”
Pacer swipes a thumb across Ollie’s cheek, tracing the trail of his blush. “Ol, when did I ever say I was straight?” he asks, his gaze intently focused on Ollie. “Anyway, it’s always been you.” He leans in closer, breathing out one final word before sealing their lips together. “Always.”
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