#this prompt may or may not be heavily influenced by my love for a certain little Love Trio and their unfair cuteness

[write-it-motherfuckers]

Person A: “Hey, No! Not for eating!”

Person B: “It’s a human, what else is it good for?”

Person A: “I’ll have you know, that this amazing little human is my Best Friend!”

Person B: “...What the fuck is a Best Friend?”

[goingmerryfics]

Hi I love your fics and I think the ‘sitting on their lap while they’re not paying attention’ is so cute! Could you do that prompt with Enel and Shanks? 👉👈 sfw plz

Sitting in their lap while they’re not paying attention - w/ Enel, & Shanks 

Content: Gender neutral reader, SFW

Notes* Enel has never come to mind when writing these little prompts so this is new! I had to go back and watch a bit of Skypiea to remember what he's like haha. Shank’s gets a little handsy, but nothing dramatic.

Enel

Enel cannot be caught off guard, but he’ll tolerate your mischievous ways if he likes you well enough

So when you casually stroll up to his makeshift throne and plop yourself down, he doesn’t move. Doesn’t say a word at first, or even react too much past smirking behind your gaze.

He’s laid out in a lazy position, so sitting on his lap is a little awkward- but you manage by shifting yourself forward. You can’t see his face at this angle, but maybe that’s a good thing

He’s confident, and this little maneuver is not going to fluster him. He is intrigued, though.

His amusement for the situation is painted all over his face, even if you can’t see that from where you’re sitting

“Ah, sitting in the lap of power itself. I suppose I can't blame you.”

He shifts and sits up as he speaks, careful not to move you off of him

Knowing that he approves your antics now, you can actually release the tension in your shoulders with a sigh and lean back in your spot

One hand reaches around your body to put a hand on your cheek and turn your head to look directly at him

“Were you trying to fluster me? I’m afraid you’ll have to do better than that if you want to see me blush. Still, I appreciate how direct you are. Perhaps I can have you do this more often.”

He sticks to his word on that, too. Whenever he’s sat in his seat for whatever reason, he makes sure to call for you so you can accompany him, especially for meals

You’ve kind of become his little pet in a way

Shanks

Shanks is wasted when you swing over the barstool and place yourself in his lap

It’s so smooth and easy to do, there’s really a multitude of ways you could ‘catch him off guard’, which makes you question how he’s become so feared sometimes

He's so focused on finishing his drink that he doesn't even really notice the added weight

His arm immediately wraps around your middle, both to keep you close and also to keep himself from falling off the stool

He mumbles something in his drunken state, which you can kind of translate into, “What tricks are you up to?”

He doesn’t even waste time before he pulls you in for a kiss, too. He tastes like whiskey and an incoming hangover

His hand goes from your back to your hips with obvious intention, but you stop him where he’s at, knowing he’s heavily under the influence and it would be unwise to let him go too far

“Come on now, where’d that shyness come from?”

He barely gets the words out. He looks like he’s going to pass out

Not a minute later, you and Benn are carrying him to his room on the ship as he snores, limp in both of your arms

You leave him a glass of water and some painkillers at his bedside since he’ll need them in the morning, but you don’t actually see him until the following afternoon

You ask if he’d partied too hard, and he laughs before he pulls you close to him just like he did last night

“I may have been drunk off my ass, but I still remember a certain someone sitting on my lap.”

You really didn’t think that he would’ve remembered that, and he laughs at how red you go so quickly

[liladiurne]

2022 - My year in Fic

Thanks @danpuff-ao3 for the tag!

I probably haven't written as much this year as most of you guys have, because I don't generally write much any given year (due to my horrible snail-paced writing speed 🤣) but there's been a few goodies this year, so I thought I should share! And feel a certain measure of success?

January

Certain Dark Things - (Snarry, E, 50k) Written for Adopt-a-Prompt fest and posted quite late... Based on the prompt: AU. Harry never lived with the Dursleys. He was adopted by the reformed Malfoys as an infant. He is secretly in love with his father's best friend, Severus Snape. Or In which Severus takes a trip to Italy, thinking he'll have a quiet time at the Malfoys' villa, but Harry has other plans. Or... just an excuse to write something loosely based on Call Me By Your Name...

I was wounded. I had suffered irremediable damage. I had seen something sacrosanct that no mortal was meant to lay eyes on, and I was being punished for it. I was like a man possessed, haunted, filled sporadically with a force greater than myself. I wanted to be good, decent, and strong. I wanted to resist the call of his body. But I also wanted to worship him with every fibre of my being. I began to understand the religious fanatics and the zealots. Had I known him when I was a teenager, I would have favoured him over the Dark Lord. I would have followed him to the ends of the earth, built temples in his honour, committed atrocities in his name.

What I felt for him was so deep and so raw I could not quite call it love, but I didn’t know what else to name it.

February

Compulsory Figures - (Snarry, E, 6k) Severus is a four-time Olympic gold medalist and a figure skating legend. He's also a heartless bastard who uses his fame and influence to bed as many pretty young skaters as he can. At eighteen, Harry has just begun training for his first Olympic Games. And he's exactly Severus' type.

The boy has a lot to work on. There are flaws, a considerable number of them, and yet Severus is not surprised that he’s made it this far. Because when he’s on the ice, there is no prying your eyes away. What he does well, he does perfectly, naturally. As easy as breathing. Seamlessly, with such emotion it makes something tighten in Severus’ chest.

He stares darkly from the shadows.

He was not that good at eighteen. He did not have a gift. He’d had to work his arse off just to get to this boy’s level.

He is jealous. And it only makes him want the boy more.

May

An Escape - (Snarry, E, 2k) - Birthday present for my dear Danni. A good excuse to write some filth. A Muggle AU where Severus is a dirtybadwrong Chemistry teacher taking advantage of an abused Harry.

“You must understand that you’re putting me in a very difficult position,” Severus says softly.

“I know,” the boy mutters.

“And if anyone were to find out, I could lose my job.”

“Sir, please. I won’t tell anyone, I swear. I’ll do anything.”

Severus sighs heavily, reluctantly. But secretly his heart is thumping in anticipation. “Very well. Get on with it.”

There is a pause. A few shaky breaths again. Potter’s eyes dart up, look around the empty lot, either to ensure that there is no one around to see, or perhaps hoping for a way out, an escape. But there is no escape, Severus has made sure of it. He’s worked hard for nearly a year to make the boy understand that he is the only escape.

Miraculous - (Snarry, E, 15k) - Written for Snarry-a-Thon. When Severus finds out that the gorgeous and charming young man Lucius set him up with, the one who's accompanying him to his mother's charity ball, is really a hired escort, he is furious and disappointed. At first. But then he realises he can use this to his advantage. After years of celibacy, he's finally found someone he connects with, someone who understands him. And this time, Severus actually has the means to see him again. Or the money. But if money's what it takes to spend time with Harry, then he's more than willing to drain his family's fortune. In an unexpected twist of faith, he might not need to.

What a fool he was. What a bloody idiot. As if a young man like this one, this Godric, could ever willingly want to have anything to do with him. He should have known, if only from the way Godric didn't recoil when he first saw him or didn't find an excuse to leave at once, that he wasn't just someone Lucius had come across and thought would be a good fit for him. Because he is, just like Lucius said, exactly Severus' type. And that's what made him suspicious in the first place, what made Severus believe that there must be more to this than some clever matchmaking. Because not once in over forty years, no matter how much money and prestige are to his name, has Severus ever been able to get anyone of his type. It seemed too perfect to be true. It seemed… nearly miraculous.

August

A Strange Fate - (Snarry, M, 4k) - A birthday gift for my dear Nina. An excuse to write something super artsy. Based on the myth of Pygmalion. Severus is a brilliant but lonely sculptor who falls in love with the beautiful marble statue of a young man he has been working on diligently for years.

The first thing to emerge, from the gaping hole he had made, was the curve of a shoulder. He worked it and polished it right there, in the middle of the opaque block of stone. A delicate shoulder, which he caressed gently afterwards. It looked so out of place and yet so absolutely perfect. It was as if it had always been there to begin with, underneath all the excess marble, and Severus had merely uncovered it. 

It wasn’t the last time he had this impression either. It was so every time he unveiled something new, every time a bit of limb, a glimpse of a muscle came to light. It was so easy. Severus barely felt like he was working at all, merely chiselling at the right places, dislodging the right bits of stone. Whatever was underneath was simply being revealed. 

He wondered sometimes, with a mix of disbelief and elation, whether he was a  sculptor or an archeologist.

And then I started school again and lost all my time for writing... I guess I did update Brighter Than Bright this year, which is a win. And recently started posting a translation, which I'd been meaning to do for a while.

Hopefully I'll have more to share next year!

[squaletta]

𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒

𝐈. 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓

→ This is an independent roleplay blog for a female version of Squalo Superbi from the Katekyo Hitman Reborn series by Akira Amano.

→ My interpretation may be different from what you expect. Since I haven't watched anime for a long time or very occasionally, my portrayal is not very anime-ish. It is more influenced by TV series or reading books from the mafia environment. I just really like Squalo as a character, and I found it interesting to develop her further based on him differently.

→ Although her origin is in anime, I would not wish to label her as just an anime character.

𝐈𝐈. 𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐀𝐋

→ My portrayal is the female version, meaning Squaletta was born like a girl.

→ It's a heavily headcanon-based portrayal.

→ My attempt is to add another dimension to the portrayal of this muse. In terms of portraying this muse, I try to give her a psychological component and a realistic interpretation of her life within the mafia. That's why my interpretation is fandomless and fully adapted into the world of other TV fandoms or anime fandoms. → As stated above, this portrayal is headcanon-based, so please do not repost, paraphrase or use my headcanons as your own. I will not tolerate that.

→ This is my interpretation of the character. If you disagree with how I write, you are under no obligation to interact with me. If you harass me about how I interpret this character, you will be blocked.

𝐈𝐈𝐈. 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐌𝐄

→ This blog is mutual only.

→ If I follow you, it means I want to interact with you. Feel free to send me prompts and memes to my inbox or DM me to plot something. I'm always open to plot, and if you ever have an idea for a roleplay, message me, and we could discuss it. You can message me privately anytime. I'll get to you as soon as possible. No need to be shy. My private messages are always open. Don't be afraid to start a conversation with me. I don't bite, I swear.

→ Prompts and memes are the best icebreakers and easiest way to start interactions, regardless of whether our muses know each other. Go for it!

→ A bunch of memes from one roleplayer is totally okay!

→ You are always welcome to turn a meme into a thread! No need to ask.

→ Random spontaneous starters are welcome as well.

→ Please let me know if you’re following me from a sideblog so I know we are mutuals.

→ If we’re not mutuals, you may like posts and send asks.

𝐈𝐕. 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 & 𝐈𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐒 & 𝐆𝐈𝐅𝐒

→ I use regular text size and occasional italics for emphasis. I love to add a GIF or icon to a thread. If someone has typical formatting, I tend to be open to adapting to it for thread harmony. Roleplay partners don't need to match my length or formatting.

𝐕. 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐓𝐘𝐋𝐄

→ I write in a third-person point of view. I can be detailed and descriptive to create a long storyline, but I can also write short banter. Banters are fun to do next to long storylines. Sometimes a little banter turns into a bigger roleplay. For long storylines, I prefer plotting before writing.

𝐕𝐈. 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐆𝐄

→ English isn't my native language, and currently, I am learning it by myself, so I am sorry for any mistakes. I'm trying to improve it as much as possible, but I make grammatical and spelling mistakes. So please, do not bash on my English. However, you are welcome to correct me nicely and politely so I can improve.

→ I want to tell you or rather ask you not to be afraid to write to me if I don't understand something in our thread. I am fully aware of English is my second language, not my native language, so there can be a certain language barrier. So don't hesitate to come to me and tell me if I misunderstood or wrote something wrong. For many of you, English is the first language, and the higher demands and expectations are placed on me. I am very happy to contact you when I don't understand either, but it happens that I feel that I understand, but the reality is obviously different. I am not aware of some mistakes, and I do not make them on purpose. I don't want you to think that I don't put effort into our thread.

→ Writing in my native language – Slovak language – is highly desirable.

→ Writing with Czech roleplayers is very welcome as well.

𝐕𝐈𝐈. 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐘

→ If we start writing, I only ask you to be patient with replies because I'm an adult with a real job and hectic life or sometimes don't feel like replying. Just as I am patient for replies from my writing partner. I may not respond for a couple of days or weeks. You can remind me if I haven’t replied for a long time (let’s say 7 days) unless I have stated a reason for my absence. But sometimes my muse or I just am not feeling in the mood.

→ I don’t always have a muse for every thread I do, and I often only reply to one or two threads at a time. If this happens, I promise I’m not ignoring you. Don’t trip. I’ll get around to yours eventually.

→ If I disappear and do come back months later, I am either super willing to continue old storylines like no time has passed, or I will drop things and come to you asking for fresh new things.

𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈. 𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒 & 𝐀𝐔𝐬

→ I am crossover-friendly, even if I don’t know the fandom. Other fandoms, crossovers, and alternative universes are more than welcome! I'm excited to put my muse in other universes.

𝐈𝐗. 𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒

→ I am OC friendly, but I will hold OCs to the same standards as canon muses. I will write only with well-developed, well-written and that make sense in the context of my muse.

𝐗. 𝐃𝐔𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐒

→ I am very duplicates friendly, because I personally think that even ten portrayals of one character will be different and unique, because each mun behind a character is different and will bring their own ideas to it. And that's exactly what's fascinating.

𝐗𝐈. 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐑𝐏 𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄

→ Be respectful. I want to have a safe and pleasant environment here.

→ No god-moding.

→ No metagaming.

→ Powerplay will be discussed while plotting some fight.

→ If you begin to feel uncomfortable during our roleplay, please tell me. I want this to be a fun and pleasant experience for everyone. I am more than happy to discuss things and make adjustments for my partner’s comfort if possible and in accordance with my muse.

𝐗𝐈𝐈. 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆

→ This account is multiship and multiverse. It means that every romantic relationship will go into a different world.

→ Shipping will only happen if my muse feels romantically interested, if we build up a close emotional connection between muses and if our muses have brilliant chemistry after long-term interaction. I prefer slow-burn romance.

→ If my muse ship with someone, I will continue doing romantic roleplays with other muses because, as I said, this is a multiship roleplay account.

→ It's fine if you're a single ship, but don't expect the same from me. I do not tolerate jealousy or drama.

→ Don't push me into a ship.

→ Be aware that my muse can sometimes be flirty, but that doesn't mean she wants to ship, it's just part of her personality.

→ If you feel there is chemistry between our muses or a good story for our muses as a ship, feel free to DM me and we can talk about it.

𝐗𝐈𝐈𝐈. 𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄��𝐓

→ Smut will only happen if my muse feels romantically interested if there is already a close emotional connection to the other muse and our muses have brilliant chemistry.

→ As for the explicitness of sexual scenes, I put more emphasis on the playful form of interaction, teasing and foreplay, flirting and body language. I don't mind the description of the sex scene, but I prefer sex was "tasteful" and not too explicit. I personally dislike a sex scene that feels like an anatomy lesson and sounds too clinical. I prefer to linger on the emotions involved rather than the body parts. These scenes, I believe, are supposed to show the emotion and intimacy between the muses, which means more sensual terms and less pornographic actions. For me, a bit explicit works better with fast and rough, and tasteful more with soft and slow.

→ Adding me just for pure smut is a waste of your time because it's not my cup of tea.

→ Sexual threads and asks will be tagged. I use "Keep Reading" feature under a clear NSFW banner for my smut threads out of consideration for others.

𝐗𝐈𝐕. 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓/𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒

→ Dark and triggering themes will be present. However, it is earned and story-based when occurring. My muse is a assassin and swordswoman, so there can be violence, blood, alcohol or offensive language, and some adult situations involved with this account naturally because she is associating with the underworld.

→ I will do my best to tag triggers.

→ My own triggers are rape and sexual abuse in general, pedophilia, Mpreg.

𝐗𝐕. 𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

→ I will not interact with roleplayers under 18.

𝐗𝐕𝐈. 𝐎𝐎𝐂 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐀

→ This account is drama free. I have no tolerance for real-life drama or out-of-character drama. If you don’t like the content I post or how I portray my muse, you are free to unfollow me. I'm here to have fun and write my muse.

𝐗𝐕𝐈𝐈. 𝐌𝐔𝐍

→ This blog is written by Lexy.

→ The mun is 30+.

→ She/her pronouns are preferred.

→ My time zone is Central European Zone (GMT + 1).

𝐗𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈. 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐒 → 𝐏𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐭: @manoncomms → 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐨: @manoncomms → 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐁𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐬: @manoncomms → 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐃𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫: @manoncomms → 𝐈𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬: @manoncomms → 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞: → 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐝:

[signorinavongola]

𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒

𝐈. 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓

→ This is an independent roleplay blog for a female version of Tsunayoshi Sawada from the Katekyo Hitman Reborn series by Akira Amano.

→ My interpretation may be different from what you expect. Since I haven't watched anime for a long time or very occasionally, my portrayal is not very anime-ish. It is more influenced by TV series or reading books from the mafia environment. I just really like Tsuna as a character, and I found it interesting to develop her further based on him differently.

→ Although her origin is in anime, I would not wish to label her as just an anime character.

𝐈𝐈. 𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐀𝐋

→ My portrayal is the female version, meaning Tsuna was born like a girl.

→ It's a heavily headcanon-based portrayal.

→ My attempt is to add another dimension to the portrayal of this muse. In terms of portraying this muse, I try to give her a psychological component and a realistic interpretation of her life within the mafia. That's why my interpretation is fandomless and fully adapted into the world of other TV fandoms or anime fandoms. → As stated above, this portrayal is headcanon-based, so please do not repost, paraphrase or use my headcanons as your own. I will not tolerate that.

→ This is my interpretation of the character. If you disagree with how I write, you are under no obligation to interact with me. If you harass me about how I interpret this character, you will be blocked.

𝐈𝐈𝐈. 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐌𝐄

→ This blog is mutual only.

→ If I follow you, it means I want to interact with you. Feel free to send me prompts and memes to my inbox or DM me to plot something. I'm always open to plot, and if you ever have an idea for a roleplay, message me, and we could discuss it. You can message me privately anytime. I'll get to you as soon as possible. No need to be shy. My private messages are always open. Don't be afraid to start a conversation with me. I don't bite, I swear.

→ Prompts and memes are the best icebreakers and easiest way to start interactions, regardless of whether our muses know each other. Go for it!

→ A bunch of memes from one roleplayer is totally okay!

→ You are always welcome to turn a meme into a thread! No need to ask.

→ Random spontaneous starters are welcome as well.

→ Please let me know if you’re following me from a sideblog so I know we are mutuals.

→ If we’re not mutuals, you may like posts and send asks.

𝐈𝐕. 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 & 𝐈𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐒 & 𝐆𝐈𝐅𝐒

→ I use regular text size and occasional italics for emphasis. I love to add a GIF or icon to a thread. If someone has typical formatting, I tend to be open to adapting to it for thread harmony. Roleplay partners don't need to match my length or formatting.

𝐕. 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐓𝐘𝐋𝐄

→ I write in a third-person point of view. I can be detailed and descriptive to create a long storyline, but I can also write short banter. Banters are fun to do next to long storylines. Sometimes a little banter turns into a bigger roleplay. For long storylines, I prefer plotting before writing.

𝐕𝐈. 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐆𝐄

→ English isn't my native language, and currently, I am learning it by myself, so I am sorry for any mistakes. I'm trying to improve it as much as possible, but I make grammatical and spelling mistakes. So please, do not bash on my English. However, you are welcome to correct me nicely and politely so I can improve.

→ I want to tell you or rather ask you not to be afraid to write to me if I don't understand something in our thread. I am fully aware of English is my second language, not my native language, so there can be a certain language barrier. So don't hesitate to come to me and tell me if I misunderstood or wrote something wrong. For many of you, English is the first language, and the higher demands and expectations are placed on me. I am very happy to contact you when I don't understand either, but it happens that I feel that I understand, but the reality is obviously different. I am not aware of some mistakes, and I do not make them on purpose. I don't want you to think that I don't put effort into our thread.

→ Writing in my native language – Slovak language – is highly desirable.

→ Writing with Czech roleplayers is very welcome as well.

𝐕𝐈𝐈. 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐘

→ If we start writing, I only ask you to be patient with replies because I'm an adult with a real job and hectic life or sometimes don't feel like replying. Just as I am patient for replies from my writing partner. I may not respond for a couple of days or weeks. You can remind me if I haven’t replied for a long time (let’s say 7 days) unless I have stated a reason for my absence. But sometimes my muse or I just am not feeling in the mood.

→ I don’t always have a muse for every thread I do, and I often only reply to one or two threads at a time. If this happens, I promise I’m not ignoring you. Don’t trip. I’ll get around to yours eventually.

→ If I disappear and do come back months later, I am either super willing to continue old storylines like no time has passed, or I will drop things and come to you asking for fresh new things.

𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈. 𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒 & 𝐀𝐔𝐬

→ I am crossover-friendly, even if I don’t know the fandom. Other fandoms, crossovers, and alternative universes are more than welcome! I'm excited to put my muse in other universes.

𝐈𝐗. 𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒

→ I am OC friendly, but I will hold OCs to the same standards as canon muses. I will write only with well-developed, well-written and that make sense in the context of my muse.

𝐗. 𝐃𝐔𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐒

→ I am very duplicates friendly, because I personally think that even ten portrayals of one character will be different and unique, because each mun behind a character is different and will bring their own ideas to it. And that's exactly what's fascinating.

𝐗𝐈. 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐑𝐏 𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄

→ Be respectful. I want to have a safe and pleasant environment here.

→ No god-moding.

→ No metagaming.

→ Powerplay will be discussed while plotting some fight.

→ If you begin to feel uncomfortable during our roleplay, please tell me. I want this to be a fun and pleasant experience for everyone. I am more than happy to discuss things and make adjustments for my partner’s comfort if possible and in accordance with my muse.

𝐗𝐈𝐈. 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆

→ This account is multiship and multiverse. It means that every romantic relationship will go into a different world.

→ Shipping will only happen if my muse feels romantically interested, if we build up a close emotional connection between muses and if our muses have brilliant chemistry after long-term interaction. I prefer slow-burn romance.

→ If my muse ship with someone, I will continue doing romantic roleplays with other muses because, as I said, this is a multiship roleplay account.

→ It's fine if you're a single ship, but don't expect the same from me. I do not tolerate jealousy or drama.

→ Don't push me into a ship.

→ If you feel there is chemistry between our muses or a good story for our muses as a ship, feel free to DM me and we can talk about it.

𝐗𝐈𝐈𝐈. 𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓

→ Smut will only happen if my muse feels romantically interested if there is already a close emotional connection to the other muse and our muses have brilliant chemistry.

→ As for the explicitness of sexual scenes, I put more emphasis on the playful form of interaction, teasing and foreplay, flirting and body language. I don't mind the description of the sex scene, but I prefer sex was "tasteful" and not too explicit. I personally dislike a sex scene that feels like an anatomy lesson and sounds too clinical. I prefer to linger on the emotions involved rather than the body parts. These scenes, I believe, are supposed to show the emotion and intimacy between the muses, which means more sensual terms and less pornographic actions. For me, a bit explicit works better with fast and rough, and tasteful more with soft and slow.

→ Adding me just for pure smut is a waste of your time because it's not my cup of tea.

→ Sexual threads and asks will be tagged. I use "Keep Reading" feature under a clear NSFW banner for my smut threads out of consideration for others.

𝐗𝐈𝐕. 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓/𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒

→ Dark and triggering themes will be present. However, it is earned and story-based when occurring. My muse is a mafia boss, so there can be violence, blood, alcohol or offensive language, and some adult situations involved with this account naturally because she is associating with the underworld.

→ I will do my best to tag triggers.

→ My own triggers are rape and sexual abuse in general, pedophilia, Mpreg.

𝐗𝐕. 𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎����

→ I will not interact with roleplayers under 18.

𝐗𝐕𝐈. 𝐎𝐎𝐂 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐀

→ This account is drama free. I have no tolerance for real-life drama or out-of-character drama. If you don’t like the content I post or how I portray my muse, you are free to unfollow me. I'm here to have fun and write my muse.

𝐗𝐕𝐈𝐈. 𝐌𝐔𝐍

→ This blog is written by Lexy.

→ The mun is 30+.

→ She/her pronouns are preferred.

→ My time zone is Central European Zone (GMT + 1).

𝐗𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈. 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐒

→ 𝐏𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐭: → 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐨: → 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐁𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐬: → 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐃𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫: → 𝐈𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬: → 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞: → 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐝:

[matthewwaugh]

Week 08 - studio and SDL

Feedback from small group crits

Workplan

For my next few steps I want to plan how I'm going to navigate the future of this project. I want to map out possible routes an actions I can take to push my Idea forward, and experiment with what I already have.

My Current project plan is to examine the relationship between natural and manmade objects. I want my project to be about a rejection of the urban sprawl of pavements and malls, and the need to escape from it. I want to highlight the transformation from grassland to skyscrapers and buildings. I plan to achieve this through the use of image overlay and overlapping, using the riso printer to achieve this for a more analogue feeling.

checklist

Photoshoot in the city, capturing certain buildings cityscapes and locations (preferably wide almost panoramic shots

mirrored images of natural settings and location such as trees, bushes and landscapes

test out prints and see how I can execute this concept - how far can I push this concept?

Strange Influences - The Lonesome Crowded West

My positioning and concept for this project was oddly aligned with the themes and ideas found within the album "The Lonesome Crowded West" by Modest Mouse. The record is centred heavily on the idea of escaping the hustle and bustle of your city, hitting the road and driving until the grey paving becomes lush grasslands. While it may not be a direct artistic influence for Manipulated Image as a whole, It has served as a sort of influence for me. It's a record that is so deeply intertwined with it's geography, and is deeply critical of the paving and pillage of greed and capitalism, and the need to plant malls and housing onto fertile and beautiful soil. It's a theme that I similarly wish to explore, and it seemed that my recent infatuation with the record coincided with my project.

Generative A.I

original image

I'm very opposed to AI, as I find it to be a gross and lifeless tool that sucks the life out of art and creativity. When giving it a try I insterted an image taken over the break and provided it with two prompts. The First being "Extend Image", which the AI didn't seem to understand - adding some strange borders and object into the side of the fram. I'm unsure of what the AI was trying to do, and how it managed to confuse such a simple request.

I tried again, this time adding the prompt "Make scene larger". It worked quite well, and is in fact quite shocking just how convincing it is. The scene feels so natural and realistic, if I were to post it online I don't think anyone would be able to pick up that this was digitally altered by AI (which is quite scary) The AI managed to pick up on a lot of context and environmental clues, translating the small object suburbly. The illusion is broken upon closer inspection, as the quality of the extention is sub-par.

Roll of 36 - Week 08

For this week, I have developed a roll of film shot over the break. I went on a trip to Waihi, and aimed to take a great deal of nature and landscape photographs. I really love the analogue feel of Film photography - It's something that I want to explore through my current project plan. I want to visually reject the normalcy of digital manipulation and digital processing, and lean to a more DIY look and feel. I plan to to shoot more landscape photos on film, and then contrast them with digitally shot city-scapes. I really love how vibrant the Kodak Colour film is. It's a great contrast to the sterile and cold feeling of cityscapes, which will be shot using my DSLR. While the images will end up being converted to monochrome colours, I still want to stay true to their vibrant nature by using the Riso printer.

Research and Influences

For this project I really want to understand the marriage of analogue and Digital processes, and how they can be married together. I really love the idea of using the Riso printer to depict city scapes in a more vibrant and colourful light, while still retaining a level of texture and grit that is provided by the grain and screen touched printing.

Artist Study - Jose Davila

Multi-media artist Jose Davila uses striking methods of cutting out and removal in his Photographic series "There but not" in which he removes structures and buildings from images, cutting them out. This process is done manually, cutting them out of printed photographs and placing them on white paper. What results is an uncanny image, with I giant white spire or structure in place of a building. Jose often uses immediately recognisable and iconic structures for this series. He says that these works are meant to highlight "the importance of architecture". The series aims to reflect on the importance of what surrounds a building, and that they are forever tied to the context that it's placed within. This series is very striking, and I would love to try this for myself. Perhaps I could turn the concept on its head, and use blank spaces to imply that something is missing, or that something is intended to be in it's place (or destined to be) I also love that this series is done by hand, with these spaces being cut with scissors. You get these shadows being cast being the paper that adds an interesting layer of perspective warping, and also a great sense of oddity.,

[fiction-box]

Hello hello I see requests are open 👀 I loved your "only one bed" fic w Ashe so I'm here to ask for more lol

May I get a fem or gn reader tutoring Felix and Sylvain (you can just choose one if you're not feeling inspired) in magic? If I remember correctly both of them have a budding talent in reason magic so maybe the professor saw that and assigned reader to help cultivate that talent??

Idk how much detail you like in your requests so feel free to ignore the rest of this!! But if you want more specifics maybe reader has always been a little nervous around the nobles in the BL house since they're a commoner?? And even though they have every confidence in their abilities they're not very assertive so Byleth wanted reader to learn how to take charge in a situation and actually tell people what to do lol

Thank you in advance!! :D

This is one of the reasons I value requests so much. There are so many ideas you guys come up with that I want to discover!

I took these two stories in two very different directions, but I think they both stay true to the prompt in their own way. The different sways of each story are heavily influenced on how I think one would have to interact with each character to achieve the specifics we're looking for.

In this case, I was inspired to write Sylvain's story with more edges and harsh moments, though Felix's was created with a much softer arc in mind.

Enjoy! Requests are open to all. Send in as many as you wish!

The stories will be continued under the cut.

Sylvain:

“N-No! No. Please wait!”

For what must have been the third time this session, you adjusted the position of Sylvain’s hands so that his fingers were curled inwards.

“Remember? If you don’t curl your fingers in, you aren’t directing the magic properly. That could cause the fire to spread sideways rather than forward, and then you’d be putting everyone around you in danger.”

“Right,” he chuckled. “My bad.”

You were quite certain he did remember, but you didn’t say anything about it. It was a trivial matter, really. Curling his fingers yourself every once in a while was nothing compared to what you knew he could do to you if you got even slightly too pushy with him.

“That’s alright, just…try to keep it in mind as we go through the motions, okay?”

Taking a step back, you sighed and relaxed your body a bit. You were going to make sure the only thing he lit on fire would be the target across from him. Burning down the training grounds was not an appealing idea to you.

“So, different people pull their magic from different places within them, yes? For example, Mercedes feels her magic from somewhere closer to her heart, while Annette describes her pull as somewhere within her head. Personally, I feel my own resonate within my palms.”

He nodded. Good. You were getting somewhere.

“I can’t just tell you where to pull yours from, though. What I can say is that once we find your source, the rest is easy. While we could do some research or studying to make a more educated presumption, I’ve found that the fastest method is just to guess and check.”

Sylvain stretched out his arms and hands, “Sure. Walk me through it then, professor~.”

You were just about to until he returned his hands to the wrong position. Again.

No, you were not going to sigh. You were not going to show any signs of impatience, you were simply going to breathe normally, approach him calmly, and gently reposition his hands.

And as much as the little nickname irked you, you wouldn’t say anything about that, either.

What was the scale of a commoner’s displeasure at a nickname when compared to that of the power of a noble? One with a crest, no less. He didn’t need to learn magic in order to ruin your life. Or order your death.

He certainly didn’t need to know you were intimidated by him, lest he get any ideas.

“You’re pointed at the target right now. I’ve adjusted your form so that it’s perfect. The only thing left is for you to pull the magic from your body and feel it spread into your fingertips.”

“Got it,'' he winked, then turned his eyes back to the target.

There. You were almost done. The only thing that was left was for him to find the magic. After all, you were confident in your ability to show him how to use it.

“...”

“It’s fine, don’t worry!” you reassured him frantically. Goddess knows what he might do if he thought this was your fault. “It can take a bit of time, just make sure you’re focusing on tracing it to your- NO, WAIT-!”

You rushed to his side when you noticed he had wrecked his form and yet was still trying. This time, a small flame did come out of his hands. However, thanks to his uncontrolled form, it began to widen to his sides.

“Woah. Uh, what do I do now?” he asked. A sliver of panic had slipped its way into his tone.

“Just aim at the target and imagine it shooting forward. Do it quickly; it’s too late to control the fire at this point, so we need to let it go before it-”

You let out a squeak of surprise as you watched it shoot across the room to the target. The widened flame hit it, but the fire didn’t truly catch onto the target. Though you were certain it would have missed if his form was actually correct, it had become clear what the professor had meant when she mentioned he had a “budding talent” in the art.

When you were originally assigned to work on magic with Sylvain, you had voiced your concerns to Professor Byleth.

“You want me to teach? And a noble, of all people? One that you claim has talent, yet has never even accessed his magic before?”

“Good,” she smiled, “so you heard me.”

“I…please, I don’t think this is a good idea. I don’t know the first thing about teaching, or…or giving orders…or…”

“That’s why you’ll be teaching one of your classmates. It will benefit us all for you to find your backbone.”

“Well then, what about Ashe? I’ll teach Ashe, or I’ll even teach Dedue, but…it isn’t really my place to teach a noble. Besides, I have a family, and if anything happens-”

“Okay,” the mercenary laughed, “now you’re definitely not getting out of this. It looks like you can learn quite a few lessons from such an experience, after all.”

“But-”

“Sylvain will be waiting for you at the training grounds. I expect you to arrive on time. I will check on you periodically.”

Well, so much for that, you thought to yourself. You hadn’t seen so much as the color of Professor Byleth’s hair since this whole thing began.

As you finished the task you had originally approached Sylvain to complete, you began to wonder how curling his fingers of all things would be the most challenging part of this lesson. He was clearly listening to you when you spoke, so the issue must be in your directions, right? Maybe you really weren’t cut out for this whole “giving-orders” thing, even though you thought you had been doing a good job, so far.

“Hey,” Sylvain began. “Why haven’t you said anything to me?”

You paused, “What do you mean? I’ve been talking you through the process this whole time.” Honestly, now you weren't sure if he was listening. Maybe he was the spacey type.

Sylvain quirked an eyebrow, “Every time I fail to go back into position, you just stop and move my fingers manually. I must have done it at least four times by now, and most girls would have told me to knock it off at this point.”

“I don’t…” four was an understatement. But did he really not realize the reason for your hesitation? “...know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes. You do. There’s this look in your eye every time you notice it. You have a lot more patience than I do, that’s for sure. Your tone of voice stays neutral or positive, and each time you maneuver my hands, you don’t move them any rougher than you did the time before it. But even with all of those behaviors combined, you manage to give it away through your eyes.”

What.

He’s been able to notice all of those…traits…of your behavior over the past two hours you’ve been working to teach him, but he still can’t do any better than a spread flame of-?

There’s no way.

“So you’re saying you know how to use the proper positioning?”

“Pssh. Yeah, I think it’s safe to say I got it the first time.” the red-headed noble teased, “But all those extra times you spent showing me really helped-”

“Do it, then.”

His brows knit lightly, “What?”

You pointed at the target he had only technically hit during his last shot, “Get into your form. Aim at the target. And light it on fire.”

Sylvain was too stunned to speak. Instead, he did as you said, turning to face the target and firing a small fireball at the center. Sure enough, it caught fire. Right on the mark.

His smug demeanor returned, “So, how did I do? Don’t you think I should get some form of a reward for all my hard work today?”

You slowly exhale, closing your eyes and calming your heartbeat. Then, you fire your own flame spell at the target. The hay is half ember and half ash when you turn to leave.

“We’re done. I’m done.”

“Woah,” Sylvain’s eyes went wide as he stared into the remains of the fire. Quickly recovering from his shock, he turned back to you, “You oka-?”

“Two hours of my life!” you snap, spinning on your heel to face him. “Gone! Wasted!”

“Hey, now, don’t get too upset. After all, I know a few women that would be jealous of someone getting to spend that much one-on-one time with me,” his signature smirk returns, and all you can think of is how much you’d like to burn the look off his face. “Why don’t we go out and get some tea together? Would that make you feel better?”

“Two hours! And now you want even more time?”

You actually wanted to cry, now, but there was no way you were going to give him the satisfaction.

“I was supposed to spend my time with Mercedes and Annette, this afternoon! I would’ve had tea with them! Then we would’ve studied for our certification exams, and…I didn’t need this! And you certainly didn’t need this much time from me.”

Sylvain actually looked a little hurt at that, and before you could truly process everything you had just done, you heard three small raps at the entrance of the training grounds.

“That’s quite enough, you two. Sylvain, please head back to my classroom and wait for me there. We’re going to be having a little chat about training etiquette, but not before I speak with your classmate.”

His regretful expression left almost as quickly as it came when he turned to face Professor Byleth with a wink, “Right. Don’t keep me waiting, Professor!”

She glared at him, and you were immediately glad her look wasn’t directed at you.

“Don’t tempt me. Maybe I won’t show up for two hours. Whatever keeps me entertained, right?”

The Gautier noble lost his smirk as your own mouth formed a thin line to keep from smiling. You weren’t sorry for him in the slightest; especially not after he treated you like a plaything for the better part of an afternoon.

“And no detours!” she barked as he left.

You stepped forward, “Professor…I don’t-”

“I disagree.”

You blinked twice, “What?”

“With what you said earlier,” she smiled, “about not needing this. I disagree.”

The tension in your shoulders dropped in defeat, “What are you talking about, professor? I must have completed what you told me to at least an hour ago, but I wasn’t even competent enough to pick up on it. There was absolutely no reason for me to stay any longer than that, and especially not with someone as depreciative of my company as-”

But it didn’t feel like she was listening to you. Her smile was just growing, and all you could do was trail off and watch as your professor turned and headed for the door.

“You’ve grown more than you realize. You were finally able to assert yourself today.”

You shuddered a little, “I’m still worried about what I said to him.”

With her hand on the door, Professor Byleth faced you one last time, “Don’t be. Now you know as well as I do. Those nobles think they can do whatever they want, so it’s an important lesson for us to learn.” She nodded once, “It’s okay to stand up for yourself, my student. Someone needs to keep them in check.”

The doors of the grounds shut behind her with a thud.

She was right, you knew. You felt more sure of yourself, just as she had asked you to become. Not only that, but now that you knew people like Sylvain were qualified to be nobles, you weren’t as scared to talk to them.

But now you had a new fear. One day, Fodlan’s future would rest in the hands of nobles like these.

If messing around was the best they could do, they definitely had their work cut out for them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Felix:

“It’s not working.”

“Don’t worry, th-that’s alright! This is only your first day, after all. I think you’re doing well.”

Felix huffed, “Doing well isn’t going to save my life when I can’t cut through someone’s armor. Stop flattering me and actually do something to help.”

“R-right! Of course!” you stumbled. You allowed your eyes to scan Felix’s body, evaluating his form and making a mental checklist. He was able to create the magic just fine, but the Faerghus noble was completely lost when it came to firing it.

“Well, your stance is great, and you can summon the magic easily enough. B-but I don’t have enough information to properly identify a problem area-”

“Then show me again,” he ordered as Professor Byleth entered the training grounds. She was carrying a handful of spears that she must have just bought.

“That’s enough, Felix. You're the one listening, here. Let your friend do her job.”

He balked at that. “She is not my friend. Neither of us are here by choice, in case you’re having trouble recalling the context of the situation you put us in!”

Your teacher began swapping out the new lances in her arms for the broken and rusted ones discarded around the training grounds. “Well, complaining about it isn’t going to get you anywhere. Just be nice and listen, and I’m sure this will be over before you know it.”

The swordsman turned to you, clenching his teeth, “Please. Show me how you performed the spell. Again.”

“Y-Yes!”

“Ah-ah. No,” you turned to Professor Byleth as she looked you in the eyes, “You’re the professor. You’re the one giving the orders. Felix isn’t teaching you how to teach. You’re teaching him magic.”

“Ah, right,” you stood a little taller, “In that case…Felix, I’m going to demonstrate how to cast the Thunder spell once more.”

Your posture faltered at the resounding sigh from across the room. “I’m going off to the shop to repair these weapons. I expect this…dynamic…to be fixed when I return.”

As you watched your professor leave, the noble next to you cleared his throat. Back to work.

“Okay, I-I can go slow. And I’ll talk you through it!”

You got into your original stance, going over each component from your feet to your fingers. Felix reproduced your efforts methodically.

Next, you informed him of the process of garnering magic from your internal source. As the Thunder gathered in your hands, it did the same in his. It was just as bright as yours, which had always come as a surprise.

You didn’t dwell on it too long as you came to the part of the system you knew you’d spend the most time on. You tried to describe it as best you could; tracing an imaginary line between your fingers and your target before letting it go. And while yours went, the lightning magic between Felix’s hands began to grow in size and glow ever brighter.

“Tch. Not again.”

“Hold on, I’ll get it!” you reassured him, running across the room to grab one of the logs you were using as targets. Returning to him, you placed the wood in his hands as it took the brunt of the power from his spell. However, the rest of it went into you.

“Agh-! Th…that’s-” you hug your arms to your chest, attempting to cradle them against one another lightly, “that’s definitely what a Thunder spell with double the power would feel like.”

While Felix didn’t outright ask if you were alright, you felt his eyes scanning over your arms. But as long as you were the one taking the hit and not him, he couldn’t get any more upset with you, right? A commoner teaching magic to a noble. While you didn’t doubt that you could, you were not exactly confident that you should. However, it wasn’t up to you. Professor Byleth called the shots.

Shots that you needed to be giving right now, you remembered.

“Forgive me! I need to focus.”

Felix opened his mouth as if in protest, but you spoke again before he could get any sound out, “So, tell me exactly what you’re thinking when you try to fire off the spell.”

He furrowed his brow, “Just like you said. I draw that invisible line in my mind, I run my arms along it, and I think of letting go. Releasing.”

“Hmm. I think that might be our issue.”

“You think?”

“Hey, I’m not exactly the best at teaching compared to just doing, in case you couldn’t already tell.”

Only after the words were out of your mouth did you realize what you just said.

“Oh no- I’m so sorry! Look, I…I’ll figure this out for you, you’ll execute it, and then we won’t have to do this again.”

“Calm down. You’re allowed to be frustrated, too,” he scoffed. “I haven’t exactly been a model student.”

“Right…a-anyway, try going through the routine once more, but instead of thinking about releasing, think of pushing. That way you’re using both mental and physical force.”

So you watched as Felix did just that. He got into his stance, gathered the magic into his hands, pushed his arms forward, and furrowed his brow.

But the lighting grew ever brighter, the supply of logs grew ever smaller, and your arms grew ever more sore.

“W-why-” you asked, cradling your arms together once more. Tears formed in your eyes as you looked elsewhere, fighting the pain. “I don’t get it.”

“Come on!” Felix shouted at himself. With your head turned away from him, however, you had presumed your so-called “student’s” anger was directed at you.

Consequently, you flinched away from him.

From outside of your view, Felix’s eyes widened slightly. He softened his tone a bit, “Woah…Hey, are you alright?”

“Please,” you pleaded, turning to fully face him. “I’m doing my best. I just…if you could just give me a bit more time to wor-”

“I’m not mad at you, and I’m definitely not about…to hurt…you…” he began to trail off.

He was staring at your arms. Once you followed his gaze, you could see why. With a gasp, you held them straight out in front of you.

The flesh of your arms was burned.

It went in a pattern that made it look like something had lashed at you. The last log you used must not have been as effective as you had hoped it would be. Your knees dropped out in shock.

Felix burst toward you. Catching your torso, he lightly lowered you to the ground.

Dread cloaked your thoughts like a shadow as your breathing became more shallow and stuttered. You couldn’t cast healing magic over yourself. Moving your arms at all was a special kind of torture, but performance of the spell you needed couldn’t be achieved without more range of motion.

“Teach me how to heal you.”

You opened your mouth to speak, but you were still too petrified to register what he had said.

“What?”

“Look, maybe I can’t fire off lightning, but we can both clearly see from your arms that the spell worked. If you can teach me how to heal, even if I can’t send it into you, you can still make use of the spell on yourself by placing your arms where you used to put the logs.”

It sounded like a reasonable enough plan. It was the best thing you had at the moment, anyway. You didn’t think you could move about to get help in this state, and you didn’t like the idea of being left alone in the training grounds, either.

So you walked him through it. Kneeling together on the floor, you told him to change his fingers into a cupped form. He was instructed to send the power through his wrists rather than his fingertips to get it to form. Then, with his hands glowing green and hovering over your arms, you directed him to give the magic directly to your afflicted areas.

Both of you were stunned when Felix was able to send the healing magic to you on his first try. You didn’t need to move into it, it just flowed from his wrists into your arms.

Your head gave an involuntary bow as you felt the magic wash over you. It was like a light breeze on a hot day. More like a cool salve on a burn, you supposed.

“Thank you,” you breathed, head still lowered. Your breaths continued, slow and deep as you closed your eyes.

It got you thinking, though. How was it that Felix could fire his healing magic effectively, but not the Thunder spell you had both been working on? It was the same principle, though you think you conveniently forgot to instruct him on it, this time.

Your eyes opened lightly as you felt the flow of magic dissipate from your body. Felix must have stopped, then.

As you tried to lift your head back up, your vision spotted and dizziness set in. You supposed you had never truly been injured that badly before. Sure, the attacks you had taken throughout the time of one battle all added together might total quite a bit of agony, but Mercedes was always around to heal you at intervals whenever you suffered anything noticeable.

“...ngh..”

“Easy,” Felix stated, moving his hands to balance your shoulders, “you’ll get up when you’re ready. Nothing good will come from you pushing yourself right now.”

Focusing on your breathing, you put your head back down and placed your palms in front of you for balance.

“What were you thinking…" you took another deep breath, steadying yourself. "When you sent the healing spell, what was the thought permeating your mind?”

His hold on your shoulders tightened subtly, “I was just thinking that I wanted you to take it.”

“There, then,” you affirmed as your voice returned to you in full. “That’s going to be what you need to do in order to fire your spells. Your objective will be to get the recipient to take the spell from you.”

Trying to lift your head up once more, you succeeded. You let your eyes blink a few times, then turned to the noble kneeling next to you.

“So, go do it. One more try,” you nodded. “If it doesn’t work, we’ll be done.”

His lips pressed against each other, and his eyes hardened. You could tell he was less than interested.

“I promise I have learned from my mistakes. You’ve already found the solution, Felix. You performed it just now. The only thing that’s left is to use the proper spell.”

“Got it,” he stood, moving into position a few feet away from his target. Before he gets into his form, though, he looks to you.

“If it backfires-”

“It won’t.”

He clenched his teeth, “It might not, but I’m telling you that if it does, you’re not grabbing that log. I’ll find a way to take care of it myself, understood?”

You laughed, “Don’t worry, I couldn’t stand if I tried.”

“I mean it.”

“I’ll stay right here. I promise.”

That seemed to be the answer he was looking for. The swordsman turned back to the target, took his stance, and you observed as the lightning formed in his hands.

You watched him shove the spell forward, and just as you predicted, the lightning flew from his hand into the center of the target.

“Just like that!” you smiled warmly, eyes fixed on where the projectile had struck.

Right on cue, the doors to the training grounds flew open, unceremoniously announcing the return of Professor Byleth. The first thing her gaze landed on was the scorched target across from Felix.

“Wonderful jo-” as she turned to address the two of you, however, her eyes caught on your own position.

“Why are you on the floor?”

“...”

“...”

“Uh…Felix knows healing magic, now…?”

After a quick interrogation to ensure neither of you deliberately hurt one another just so he might practice his powers in faith, the mercenary escorted both of you to see Professor Manuela.

Fortunately, she didn’t spot any remaining injuries on either of you. This led your own professor to become quite pleased with your performances, and she insisted that this become a more permanent arrangement.

You were originally concerned about how much time you would have to spend teaching until Professor Byleth began a weekly rotation system between the two of you.

Though you can’t say you were ever fond of the sword, you were definitely not expecting to ever become so experienced with one in such a short period of time. Now that you and Felix could both effectively use magic and metal interchangeably, the two of you possessed extreme versatility on the battlefield.

The Blue Lions were now more than ever a force to be reckoned with, and it was safe to say that the House overall was far from displeased.

[drxwsyni]

Tell Me What You’re Thinking (pt.1/2)

Yandere merman!Shinsou Hitoshi x gn!Reader

Summary: Studying abroad on a remote tropical island, a life threatening event prompts a certain merman to come to your rescue. Coincidence or not, the meeting results in his intentions being set in stone.

All characters are aged up (18+).

Warnings for this part: drowning, injury, swearing, suggestions of poor parenting

Words: 6.8k+

a/n: This fic is my entry for @bnhabookclub‘s Mermay event! It’s not my usual style but I tried my best―definitely need to practice different au’s. For context Shinsou can still use his quirk, he’s just also a merman at the same time. That and he’s a soft yandere for the most part. Hope you enjoy!

Prompts: 13. “It’s all right. Come here.” 7. “It’s really not that complicated (used in the second part).”

_____

The path of least resistance proved to be quite useful in the recent years.

It wouldn’t be your first option under ideal circumstances, but such a thing wasn’t currently present in your life anyways. Occasionally it would grace your day to day living, but for the most part passing occurrences tended to be on the less enjoyable side.

Whether you should be grateful or not was beyond you, but in this unchanging routine you managed to grow accustomed to things. It lead you into a complacency of sorts―not preferring it in any manner, but still having the understanding that sometimes it was easier to let the world dictate your actions for you.

And right now, this complacency had earned you the opportunity for travel.

Specifically, an offer to study abroad to work on a take home final for your university class. Four weeks on a remote tropical island with your fellow students and accompanying professors. Done with intentions to gather otherwise unobtainable first-hand experience and, more importantly, data that would significantly improve your final grade―only if you managed your time wisely.

The opportunity was impossible to pass up.

You weren’t the biggest fan of flying, or boating―really anything that had you leaving the comfort of land. But as usual these bothers weren’t considered when you were being so heavily advised to pack your things and take advantage of the ‘once in a lifetime opportunity.’

Sometimes you tried making an attempt to discern what warranted such treatment being placed upon you. Not once could you seem to recall any one event that may have ended with the conclusion that it was acceptable for you to be handled in such a manner. To have your limits disregarded so thoughtlessly.

Maybe it was because the limits in question were more so mental in nature. They weren’t outwardly observable, and so it made it acceptable.

Of course, you knew that wasn’t the truth.

But with this perhaps you could catch a break from the pressures of your loved ones. If you did well enough in your studies, they might just tone down their expectations enough to give you the room to decide something for yourself.

It was settled―you would once again take the plunge into semi-uncertainty. Mostly for the sake of others, and only marginally to satiate your need for freedom.

You’d been on the island for a little over a week, and in that time you’d managed to scope out the perfect spot for collecting the samples you needed for your paper.

It was secluded―a rocky area that was just slightly raised from the sea level that was home to multiple small ocean pools. They were filled with very particular types of marine life. Ones that you had chosen to focus on after hearing just where you’d be travelling to. In the ecosystem you found yourself in the possibilities for research were quite extensive. There may have been less taxing options, ones that didn’t lead you to the ends of the island all by yourself. But those wouldn’t earn you the validation you desired.

So instead you came to terms with your situation as usual and gathered up your equipment for the journey. Almost every day just an hour after dinner you would head to the rocky expanse of the seemingly endless beach. The weather was comfortable, a light breeze to stave off the heat with the sun not close enough to the horizon for it to be getting too dark, but low enough to begin emitting the intricate display of warm coloured clouds drifting slowly above.

In the moments where you simply sat and took in your surroundings, the thought came to mind that perhaps you would be able to focus on something that wasn’t directly related to the pressure you were under to succeed. If these were the conditions, the clarity that came along with relaxation might be possible.

For now however, you needed to be focused on what you truly came here for.

It was roughly quarter after six in the evening. You had set your backpack down on a rock that was raised above the pools of water and used the rest of the free surface as a makeshift table. On it you placed a clean sample jar with the lid popped off in wait for the contents that you were currently fishing around for.

If there was one thing being pressured into studying was good for, it was having the image of what you were looking for committed to memory.

It was nothing special, just a remnant of the marine life that took up residence in the little pools you were currently crouched in front of. You carefully extracted the sample out of the water, placing it in the little container.

Part of you should be proud of what you were doing. University classes weren’t always the easiest. Your course was just as difficult as any other―disregarding the fact that you probably wouldn’t have gone into it if it weren’t for the ‘advice’ of your family. The research you were currently conducting was more than satisfactory.

Yet, as you looked at the now filled sample container, part of you couldn’t help but want to accomplish more. You didn’t need to―your pace so far was good for what you were trying to get done in the time you were given on the island. But it was second nature to want to perform above satisfactory expectations.

You knew that the area you were in was home to a certain species of coral that would greatly improve the chances of you earning a better GPA. Based on where you were, it would take a small swim just off the shoreline to reach its natural habitat.

Doing a cost-benefit analysis, you decided that it was worth the brief struggle. It was likely that the coral wouldn’t be too far underwater, meaning you wouldn’t require any special diving equipment. You were already wearing a bathing suit, and before leaving had packed a belt bag that could be worn underwater should you need to bring any sample collection gear with you while swimming.

Technically, you should be asking for help when it came to something like this. There was a certain danger to it―being in the ocean by yourself. If you knew any better then maybe you would’ve asked for assistance. However, it simply wasn’t in your nature to do so.

There was always a resistance in your mind when you wanted to work with others. An anxiety of sorts. Time and time again had you tried to overcome it, and each instance had you failing. Now was no different.

Your bag was strapped securely to your body, pulled tight so it didn’t shift around too much in the water. Without the ability to force yourself to go back to the cabins and request a second set of hands, there was quite literally nothing holding you back.

The ocean water was startlingly icy as you let it submerge your lower limbs. The feeling wasn’t pleasant, but it was temporary. You’d be quick―collect the sample and then gratefully retreat to the warmth of dry clothes and eventually the soft bed in your assigned room back inland.

Gradually, the frigid liquid crept up your body as you waded forward. Shivering slightly at the sensation, you willed your mind to ignore the uncomfortableness. And thankfully enough, after spending a few minutes with the water at neck-level, you became more accustomed to the sensation.

The easy part was over.

Pushing off from the sandy ocean floor underneath, you swam away from the coast. It was only roughly ten or fifteen feet away, but already you were having problems seeing the earth below. The sight was unsettling, to say the least.

What it did mean however was that you should be in the perfect spot where the coral you were hunting for could be found. It wasn’t rare or anything―you should be able to see it no problem. But you had to go underwater first before that was possible.

For a moment you hesitated. You weren’t exactly afraid of the ocean, but the concept of such a vast unexplored space wasn’t exactly comforting. Sure, you weren’t in any sort of area that was frighteningly undiscovered, but the thought that such a thing did exist didn’t help in calming your nerves.

But you digress―the take home final was more important than any passing worries over your predicament.

The feeling of being so completely engulfed in the water sent a shock through your system. So much so that you had to resurface for a few seconds to get your bearings. Once you’d settled down once again, you plunged yourself underneath the water. Only after a second or two of swimming further below the surface and you had come face to face with your target. You went back up for a breath and to extract a sample bottle from your bag. 

It was then you took notice of the particularly strong winds that had picked up since you entered the ocean.

They wouldn’t have been a problem if it weren’t for the waves it was forming under its influence. Small at first, but in the distance you could see them forming as well. Meaning that by the time they reached your position they would be bigger―much bigger.

But they were still far away. You had time.

With a little more haste you maneuvered yourself under the water until you were able to grasp the cluster of raised rock littered with marine plant life to steady yourself. Holding your breath, you tried working the coral off its hinges with a gloved hand.

It would seem coral was much stronger than you once thought.

The sturdy and jagged material was proving difficult to remove from the rocks it stuck to, and you were running out of air. The concept of having to make more than one trip under the surface wasn’t ideal, but your lung capacity wouldn’t support otherwise.

With rushed movements you emerged from the water, sucking in deep breaths of relieving oxygen.

But that was short lived.

It would seem the waves were moving faster than initially perceived. Now they were forceful enough that one sent you plummeting back under the salt water.

You couldn’t make heads or tails of which direction you were facing. The current of the waves was jostling your body in every way imaginable. Limbs flailing, you tried desperately to steady yourself. Yet you were no match for the strength of the ocean, and there was nothing in reach to hold on to.

For a moment of brief reprieve you were pulled back above the violent waves. Lungs already slightly filled with water, you sputtered into a coughing fit. Your eyes were frantic as they searched the shoreline, but there was nobody to help you.

If only you weren’t cowardly enough to have gone back and requested assistance in your now failed expedition.

Another wave collided harshly against your body, this time with much more power. It caught you off guard and in the middle of gasping for air. The final half of your breath was cut short, oxygen replaced with the frigid ocean water.

It burned. Your lungs couldn’t handle the intrusion, reflexively demanding another response of inhalation. If it weren’t for the already present liquid, tears would’ve been seen running heavily down your cheeks.

You couldn’t breath.

The current made you sway violently, pushing you deeper into the depths. Finally you collided with something, but the relief was short lived.

Sure, you were able to steady yourself, but now there was a more pressing issue.

A loose strap that was meant to tighten your belt bag had been caught on the jagged edges of the rock. Somehow tangled or wedged between the surface―it held you down under the crashing waves above.

The effects of the storm was causing your limbs to scrape painfully against the rock and coral with each sway of the current. Your lungs were filled, heart pounding against your ribcage.

Was this how you died?

Your mind was racing with a slew of thoughts all pertaining to potential escape plans.

But there were none. You couldn’t free yourself, and even if you did the storm would only pull you back under.

You choked aggressively on the water, body unnaturally convulsing. Black spots were forming in your vision as you registered that there was nothing stopping you from losing consciousness.

In a last ditch effort you tried pulling at the buckle that was holding the bag to your chest. Your luck only got worse―it was somehow stuck and would not unlatch.

Your last moments of struggling were futile. No matter what you did, or how hard you fought, you were going to drown.

As your mind slowly drifted into unconsciousness, your eyes just barely registered the thrashing waters around you. And yet, just before you succumbed to the darkness, you could’ve sworn something in the water caught the light, almost reflecting it. Whatever it was, it seemed to be quite large.

But that’s all you could comprehend―body going limp, along with your ability to stay awake any longer.

_____

The feeling of a hard surface underneath you was the first thing your brain identified. After your eyes opened, it was the sensation of some form of fleece blanketing your body.

You could still smell the ocean―hear it too. A sharp pain shot through your neck and spine as you forced yourself into a sitting position.

A cave.

There were no exits, at least not ones you could get to on foot. But you could swim.

To your right was a pool of water, and just vaguely you could see light shining through an underwater tunnel. Even then it was just barely there, meaning it had been quite some time since you blacked out, the sun likely setting for the night.

Oh right...you drowned.

The memories came flooding back. You ripped off the blanket, revealing an almost even more shocking sight. Your limbs, mainly your legs and a few patches on your arms, had been wrapped and padded with...seaweed?

That was most definitely not on your body before. Arriving fully to attention, a wave of panic came over you.

How did you get here? Why was there seaweed coating parts of your body? And most importantly―how on earth were you not dead?

Experimentally, you reached for a piece of plant life that was stuck to your skin. It was clear someone placed it there, and likely placed you in the cave, but who?

Peeling off the slimy layer revealed some equally alarming information. It wasn’t obvious when it was hidden, but now you could see the rough scrapes and cuts that littered your legs. The wounds didn’t hurt, but they didn’t feel comfortable either. There was some form of slimy substance coating it, which thoroughly grossed you out. In fact, the whole thing grossed you out.

Your body practically acted on its own, fueled by the feeling of disgust and unsettling anxiety. One after the other you ripped the seaweed from your limbs, exposing more gashes and marred flesh under each application.

You had no clue how you ended up in the cave, and if that wasn’t enough to disturb you, someone had put their hands all over your body to encase you in the questionable greenery while you were out.

One thing was for sure―you needed to get the fuck out of here.

Looking around, you figured it was worth giving the cave a once over in case there were any escapes that didn’t involve you blindly swimming through an airless underwater tunnel. And as you scanned the room you found there were still no alternatives. What you did pick up on though was the almost lived in aspect of the cave.

Somehow the stone walls were receded in parts above the water. They were like makeshift shelves, and in the crevices held an array of miscellaneous items. One spot seemed to be designated for various jars and tubs. Some were filled with unrecognizable substances, while others had equally foreign objects floating in semi clear liquid.

Eyes shifting to another display, you landed on a collection of trinkets. Mostly in the form of jewelry―a few rings, necklaces, even what looked to be a fairly expensive watch.

Someone was living here. It was good news. It meant that you should be able to swim out to safety in one breath.

You’d spent enough time taking in your surroundings. It was time to leave and hopefully never have to experience something like this again.

Yet, as you tried standing up, the pain of your injuries seem to catch up with you. To be fair you weren’t expecting it, so you didn’t feel entirely ashamed for falling right back onto the cold and slightly sandy rock. It was almost laughable―how you were foolish enough to land yourself in this predicament.

And in that distracted mindspace you managed to calm your nerves slightly, but it also drew your attention away from the pool of water that you should be plunging into for escape. You didn’t want to wait to find out who brought you here, but it was too late for that now.

Just as you mustered up the strength to pull yourself to the water’s edge, your eyes landed on something moving beneath the rippling surface. Something big.

And it was getting closer.

Frantically, you scrambled back a few feet from whatever was in the body of ocean water. Not a moment later and the thing had made its way to the surface.

It emerged―a man.

No.

There was a tail.

There was...a tail?

“Are you alright?”

And the creature spoke.

Peculiar was an understatement. The top half―its human half―looked normal. The man had deep indigo coloured hair, face sporting some impressive eye-bags. His voice sounded human enough―on the lower side but nonetheless indisputably ordinary.

However from what you could see from your position, the lower part of his body was entirely inhuman. Straight out of a mythology book―he had a long, scaly looking fish tail that was coloured the same as his hair―except it was shimmery, maybe even iridescent.

What on earth were you supposed to say in a situation like this?

He must’ve caught on to your speechlessness, judging the unmoving expression of shock on your face. “I found you trapped underneath the current. Your bag was tangled in some coral so I had to cut you out of it.”

Looking down, you saw that he was correct―your belt bag was missing.

Apparently he wasn’t done with his speech, “I brought you back here to take care of your injuries but―why did you remove the bandages?” You watched as his confused eyes scanned your form, taking in the exposed cuts and bruises that painted your delicate skin.

You said the first thing that came to mind. “Where am I?”

Without missing a beat, he responded. “My home. Why did you remove the bandages?”

...Is that really what he’s worried about right now?

Forming words proved to be a difficult task when you were suffering from a shock to your once perceived reality. Surely you were dreaming. There was no way a fish...man, was talking to you right now. Right?

“I just―I didn’t know what it was. So I...took it off?” You were hoping that you’d wake up any moment now. But as time drew on that wish seemed to grow less likely to come true.

Reality didn’t matter―you needed to know. “Are you like a...mermaid, or something?”

Eyebrows slightly furrowed in what looked to be annoyance, the man responded. “Merman, actually.”

It was like this was just another regular occurrence for the merman. He acted completely unfazed by you discovering his existence, whether he felt different about it mentally or not.

“Okay, so why didn’t you just bring me back to the shore?” You prided yourself in not stuttering over your words despite your brain doing mental gymnastics trying to comprehend the situation.

He shifted in the water a bit, resting his hands on the stone where the water and dry earth met. “You were bleeding too much. If I brought you back to the beach you may have died from it. And even if you didn’t the storm was too rough―you would’ve been swept back out into the ocean.”

The events were discussed so matter-of-factly that it disregarded just how much danger you were in. It baffled you how he managed to stop the bleeding. Actually, you weren’t even sure where the bleeding would’ve been coming from. Looking over your wounds, none of them seemed to go deep enough to require such attention. If anything, they looked quite healthy―healed even.

Now that you didn’t need to be so wrapped up in the concern over your physical state, the gravity of the situation came falling down upon you. This complete stranger of a creature had dragged you to who knows where, and as far as you could tell getting out might just be impossible.

The colour effectively drained from your face.

It just so happened that the merman would continue to be perceptive to your reactions. “I was just waiting for you to wake up so I could bring you back. You’re safe here, I promise.”

His words brought untold relief to your anxieties, yet you still needed a little more reassurance. “That’s good. So you’re not gonna, like―”

“What, eat you?” He gave a half-hearted chuckle at the thought, “I’m not a monster. And even if I did want to don’t you think I would've done it already?”

It wasn’t what you were going to ask, but realistically your intentions on the subject didn’t matter all that much in the moment.

The indigo haired man sighed, likely expecting a response. “Look, I just wanted to help you. That’s it.”

Help you. That wasn’t something you were normally accustomed to.

You had problems asking for assistance on your own, and even if you wanted to there was never really many who would be willing to indulge you.

The sentiment he offered was nice. Even nicer was that it wasn’t just an offer―he already had helped you. He’d saved your life. It was more than anyone else had done for you throughout your many years of living.

It was nice, to say the least.

But you still needed to get back to the beach. “So, are you gonna help me get out of here now? Cause I don’t exactly know where that exit leads to…”

He smiled slightly, the most positive emotion you’d seen him express since emerging from the depths. “Of course, I did say I would after all.”

Your eyes followed his hand as it outstretched towards you. The first reaction you had was to automatically take it, but you stopped halfway through the motion when you registered his physique.

He had claws.

They weren’t long, but they were for sure sharp looking. You hesitated in your advance.

“It’s all right. Come here.” He gestured to you to approach, but still you wavered. “I won’t hurt you, little human.”

Not that you weren’t still wary of the dangerous looking appendages, but you didn’t exactly have a choice. He was your ticket out of the cave after all.

Without a word you took his hand. He gently guided you to the edge of the water, supporting your weight as you clambered into the ocean pool.

There were still small waves entering from the mouth of the cave, a weak current lightly hitting your body. It was enough to wash away whatever substance the merman had applied to your injuries. Now that they were clean, you could see just how much they’d healed in the short amount of time.

You could think about how that was even possible when you were back on land.

When the man spoke again it startled you slightly, him being so close. “The tunnel is long. I’m afraid that even if I swim fast you’ll still run out of air before we break the surface.”

The statement made you panic a little, eyes going wide.

He continued before you could give your take. “I’ll have to give you some air halfway through, just let me know when you need a breath and everything should be okay.” The merman pulled you into his chest as he spoke, one arm wrapped around your waist while the other gripped your upper arm.

“Wait―how are you even gonna do that?” As far as you could tell he wasn’t carrying an oxygen tank or anything of the sort.

Looking down at you with a slight smirk on his face, he responded. “You trust me, right? I’m not going to let you drown, don’t worry.”

That didn’t really answer your question, but he wasn’t done. “And I’m your only way out of here so does it really matter? That is unless you want to stay here with me forever.”

Frankly, you had no clue what he meant by ‘giving you air,’ but he was right―how he kept you alive wasn’t all that important in the grand scheme of things. Before you could make a point to push your concerns he pulled the two of you underwater. You thanked the heavens you were able to fill your lungs with air the second before you were submerged, inwardly cursing the man for not giving you a heads up.

Your body was flushed to his, and as he swam you could appreciate the robustness of his frame. It was impressive, and if it weren’t for the stress of the situation you may have liked to take more time to admire it.

It was hard to keep your eyes open as the water rushed past you. That was indication enough of just how fast you were going, and you realized just how screwed you would’ve been if you had tried to make your way out of the cave by yourself. If you didn’t drown before, making that attempt would surely do the trick.

The two of you were roughly twenty seconds into the swim when you felt the burning in your lungs start to become unbearable. Without knowing what his methods of relief were, you held out as long as possible without asking for help. Yet it was only a few more seconds and your body was practically screaming at you to breath.

He didn’t tell you how to get his attention, so you opted to rapping on his chest with one hand. Thankfully, he stopped his journey towards the exit immediately after you began thrashing in his arms. Still slightly drifting forward in the water as a result of his momentum, he brought your body to be eye level with his. Not a moment too soon and he was pressing his lips firmly against yours, hands gripping the sides of your face to still you. And then you realized―this was how he was going to supply you oxygen.

Your lips parted and a relieving wave of air was forced into your lungs. He pulled away a moment later and you pursed your lips once again to contain the air. You hoped he didn’t see the faint blush on your cheeks as he pulled you back into his chest and continued swimming.

Another twenty seconds and you felt him angle upwards, and much to your relief you felt the water break around you.

Sound finally returned to your ears, having been previously replaced with the muffledness of rushing water. You blinked a few times to clear your eyes, readjusting to your surroundings. The sun was setting now, having lowered much closer to the horizon and casting a whole new set of colours upon the clouds.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” His teasing attitude wasn’t entirely appreciated, but it did help to alleviate the stress of the situation somewhat.

“I guess, not...thanks.” You gave him a small smile to show that you were grateful, given that your own tone was still a little shaky from the strange events that were taking place.

The merman allowed you some space now that he didn’t have to drag your body through the water alongside his. “The beach isn’t too far from here.”

From where you treaded you could see the shore clearly in the distance. You followed him as he began heading in that direction, presumably going at a slower pace seeing as you didn’t exactly have the same swimming capabilities as he did.

While staying above the waterline, the man continued the conversation. “So, I believe that it wouldn’t be too much to ask you to keep quiet about my existence. Not that anyone would believe you anyways, but still―in exchange for saving your life I think it's fair.”

Somehow it took him saying it to remember that you’d forgot to thank him for doing so. Sure, you thanked him for bringing you out of the cave, but that was a requirement if he wanted to free up his home once again. It was a little embarrassing, but you gave yourself some slack as nothing right now was anywhere near a sense of normalcy. “Ah―yeah, I think I can do that.”

He smiled at your sheepish reply, giving you the idea that he picked up on your abashed emotions.

The rest of the journey to the shore was done in silence. He would never go too far ahead of you, and for a moment you wondered why he didn’t just pull you the rest of the way there as well. It would’ve saved more time, but you weren’t exactly in the position to be judging him on his actions given all he’d done for you.

Eventually you reached the mainland, much to your gratification. He helped you up onto the rocks that were jutting out of the waterline―the area that kept the ocean pools you were studying. In fact, he had brought you right up to where your bag was still laid.

Still feeling a little ashamed for how much of a burden you’d been, you gave him one last condolence. “Thanks again. I don’t know how you found me but I’m glad you did. The last thing my parents need is to hear their daughter drowned trying to work on her final.” Awkwardly, you rubbed the back of your neck. It felt like you were oversharing, and at this point you should probably just shut up and head back to the cabins. Yet strangely enough the phenomenon of your realization that such a creature did exist was still very much enticing. You didn’t want to stop talking to him.

He stayed at the edge of the rocks, “It’s no problem. You should go back to wherever you’re staying on the island to rest. It’s getting late anyways.”

His concern was appreciated, but still―a small part of you was sad you would have to part ways with this otherworldly being.

“Ah―right. Um, I was just―”

“I��m Hitoshi, by the way. I’ll be here if you ever need me. Take care, (y/n).”

With that he was pushing off the rocks, and before you could get another word out―if that was even possible―he was already underwater. You saw as the slowly dimming sunlight reflected off his indigo tail, and in a matter of seconds he was so far submerged that his body entirely disappeared.

Well, that wasn’t how you expected your afternoon to go.

You had to take a few minutes to collect your thoughts, mostly consisting of you questioning everything you thought you once knew.

Briefly, you wondered just what people would say if you told them what happened to you. That you got stuck on coral, drowned, and then were rescued by a merman.

They wouldn’t believe you.

Maybe the drowning part, but the rest...not so much.

But even if they did believe you, there was no way you would break your promise to the man. He helped you―saved you. Nobody had ever shown you so much kindness, and it wouldn’t be right to just disregard that for the sake of attention.

Having had your full on adventures for the night, you quickly gathered your previously abandoned belongings. With a bag once again stuffed full of research equipment, you made your way back to the cabins.

And naturally, no matter how much you tried that night, sleep was immensely difficult to achieve. How could it not be―there was now a plethora of things to think about and you couldn’t tell a single soul. Frustrating was an understatement, but it was also kind of nice. The act of compassion the merman―no―Hitoshi, gave you was causing a certain feeling of warmth. It felt comforting.

You recalled his last words, saying he’d be there for you if you needed it. It was likely just a quick send off so he could get out of your way and return home. Yet the sentiment was still appreciated.

Eventually you managed to fall asleep, this time not doing so under the influence of painfully salty ocean water.

_____

Waking up wasn’t the most pleasant―there was a hoarse burning sensation in your lungs. Not that it wasn’t present the day before, but now it would seem that the effects of them being filled with a liquid that they should most definitely not be filled with was taking a toll. Whether it was swelling or simply the after affects of salt remaining in them didn’t really matter.

You popped some pain reliever into your mouth, wincing at the feeling as it slid down your throat.

Regardless of yesterday’s events you still had a schedule to follow. However doing so proved to be a challenge. At each task you were met with you found your thoughts drifting back to the strange encounter. At breakfast, sitting down at a worktable, lunch, editing a portion of your report―everything had you returning to contemplation over Hitoshi at least once.

It was safe to say that you didn’t get as much work done as normal.

The anticipation for the end of the day was unbearable. You had to return to the ocean pools to collect samples you weren’t able to gather yesterday.

Mostly, you had now developed a slight fear of the ocean. How the waves turned so violent while you were swimming was beyond you, but it only proved how unpredictable nature could be.

And you still wanted that piece of coral.

Your sense of self-preservation wasn’t the best. It had never been, really. After time and time again of putting your own needs second it was only natural at this point. Maybe not today, but you were going to try and return to the ocean no matter how much the prospect intimidated you.

Like you’d done for the past week, you assembled the necessary gear for your work and stepped out into the heat. To get to the area you simply had to walk along the beach. It was probably the best part of your day―with nothing to do while you walked you needed only to think.

And right now you were thinking about Hitoshi.

He was handsome―no denying that. Clearly he had a good heart, why else would he save your life after you’d so foolishly gone and put yourself in a situation that could’ve been easily avoided. He wasn’t the most expressive, but you could still tell that he meant well.

Or at least you hoped.

Either way you wouldn’t be forgetting about him anytime soon.

Finally you had arrived at the ocean pools, thankful to be able to rest your feet after the long walk. Looking out onto the ocean caused an involuntary shiver. The weather was warm, but the water that once threatened to kill you wasn’t.

There was no time to stew on harmful thoughts though―you were behind schedule. Disregarding the lingering worry that had settled into your heart, you pulled the bag off your shoulders and began removing its contents.

Almost methodically, you laid out your equipment on the flat expanse of the dry rock. It was important to be neat in your area of study, now being no exception. You were distracted with the meticulous arrangement of research gear, eyes and mind trained on setting it up to perfection.

“How’s the work coming?”

You nearly jumped two feet into the air.

In fact, you knocked over a petri dish as your body jolted from sudden noise behind you, it sounding off with a light splash as it landed in a nearby pool. Your head whipped around in the direction of the voice.

If your mind didn’t register the owner of it by sound, it would visually.

And there Hitoshi was, in his still unbelievable merman glory. He was propped up on his elbows, casually resting against the rock.

You breathed a sigh of relief, having come down from a brief adrenaline induced high. “Jesus―you can’t just sneak up on people like that. And it's going fine, I guess.” You bent over to pick up the piece of equipment, now having to disinfect it for later use. His sudden presence still had you a bit tense, and you warily eyed his form.

“Are you afraid of me?”

The question caught you off guard―clearly you looked a lot more nervous than you thought.

Of course you weren’t afraid of him. Maybe you felt a little awkward, given the vast difference between you two, but certainly not afraid.

“No, you just startled me a little. And the ocean’s still got me kinda freaked out, so…” You waved lazily with one hand in the general direction of the body of water as you spoke, returning to the task at hand.

You heard the water around him splash slightly, “Well, you can relax. I wouldn’t let anything happen to you. Actually…” Looking in his direction, you saw him reach below the surface of the water. “...I’ve got something for you. Here.”

In his right hand Hitoshi produced one of your plastic sample bottles. Inside of it was the frustrating piece of coral you were trying to pry off the rock before meeting your demise yesterday.

Your eyes blew wide at the sight―of course he could’ve gotten it so easily. He’s a goddamn fish after all. But there was one thing that didn’t quite add up in your head. “How did you know that’s what I was looking for?”

He looked at the jar before returning his unperturbed gaze back to you. “I, uh…” Just barely, you could pick up on an almost abashed look across his face. “I was sort of...watching you. That sounds creepy, I know. It was when you went in the water―not a lot of people come to this part of the island so I wasn’t exactly expecting visitors.”

Now it made sense. “Oh, well if that’s the case then I guess I was lucky. You might not have found me if I got stuck on the more populated area of the beach.” It was practically a blessing that you came across the area―you might have been dead if not.

Standing up from your position, you walked over to the break in rock and ocean where the merman was stationed. You sat down next to him, “Thanks for this, Hitoshi.” You took the bottle from his extended hand. “I really need it if I want to do good on my final. And I probably would’ve tried going back out there sooner or later for it.” You laughed a bit at your own statement, knowing how bad of an idea it was, but still finding the humour in your lack of survival instinct.

He didn’t seem as amused, “You’re telling me you would’ve risked your life just for a piece of coral?”

At that you smiled, “It’s not just a piece of coral. I mean―it’s not rare or anything, but it’s relevant to what I’m studying. So yes, chances are I would’ve.”

Hitoshi shook his head, lips slightly upturned at your behaviour now as well. “It’s a good thing I’m here then. Can’t say I’d be so inclined to let you out of my home if I found you half-dead again. For your own sake, of course.”

You rolled your eyes. But really, you were grateful for him. “Seriously, this means a lot.” Forming your next words was difficult, given that you didn’t want to sound too much like a loser, but they needed to be genuine. “I don’t get a lot of help when it comes to stuff like this. I’m not the best at asking for it either. It’s just―you’ve done so much for me...I don’t even know where to begin when it comes to repaying you.”

There was a moment of silence, and your heart sunk a little thinking that you’d said too much.

“Why don’t you start with telling me about yourself.”

That only confused you more.

“You want to know more about me?”

The toothy grin he gave as he laughed a bit at your response wasn’t expected, but it did help ease the tensions. “Yes, little human. I don’t get to talk to many of my own kind, let alone yours. And as you said, you need to repay me so technically you don’t have a choice.”

His condescending pet name didn’t go unnoticed, but you’d let it slide―he had done more than enough to earn the right to a little teasing.

You have a half-hearted shrug. “Okay then, what is it you want to know fish boy?”

Now things could finally start getting interesting.

[reverielix]

Hello✨Which career do you think is right for me? I am a sociology student now and I am also very interested in psychology. Thank you so much alreadyyy ☺️

Hi! First off, I can't say what career is right for you but I can look at your earth houses and other things that might strike my eye. This is what I generally do with these requests so don't expect a certain job recommendation because I won't be providing that haha

Looking at your interceptions at first, you have Libra and Aries intercepted in the 1st and 7th houses while your Sagittarius and Gemini are duplicated on the 3rd and 4th as well as 10th and 9th house cusp. Briefly touching on that, I’ll give you some key information

You might have a lot of inhibitions and hesitate to take action/find difficulty in being assertive and proactively chasing after what you desire as you’d rather daydream, avoid confrontation and be in your little bubble same though lol When you do release that emotional build-up though, it can be that you get yourself into very reckless situations where you can get inappropriate or embarrassed, which only prompts you to keep the quality of assertion suppressed behind the bubble you created for yourself.

The other half of the interception suggests that you have difficulty developing relationships with equal “power distribution”. One might always be more demanding, more needy and more loving. In this case, I see you more as the “servant”, so the person on the giving end when it comes to power-dynamics and unbalanced relationships. People who you are in close relationships with may seek advice from you and always wring you dry of your readiness to help.

Concluding: there is a conflict between the self and relationships.

Looking at Mars and Venus, though, and seeing as Mars is even the most elevated planet in your chart, you definitely have options to “unlock” those interceptions and learn to overcome those hardships. (Just to touch on something here tat caught my eye: Venus in the 5th degree in Leo in the 5th house gives you the ultimate Leo placement lol Leo decan, Leo degree, Leo house and Leo as the sign sigsihsb wow)

Onto the duplications, the heavy Gemini and Sagittarius influence suggests a very big curiosity you have to learn and analyze new things which you then fabricate into the basis or pattern to understand other things that are foreign to you. You take what you know from home, so the speaking patterns of people around you or other behavioral observations and turn them into a blueprint to understand foreign concepts better as you probably even have a career to do with a lot of research or gaining new knowledge/learning from new experiences. You seem to be very fascinated by what you learn about, which with the Mars in that 9th house can help you "unlock" that Aries interception, since you've got that undeniable thirst for hunger that fuels motivation already strogly present within you, especially in the field of exploration and development of personal wisdom.

Looking at your 2nd house in Taurus, I also want to touch on something to do with houses in the sign of their rulership. With the rising in Libra, for comparison, there is a lot of tension between the houses and their respective sign. The extremes created by the oppositions need to be balanced by the Libra rising. But for the Aries rising, it’s about the conjunction: every sign feels too close to their house, because they’re too near to be comfortable. Here, the problem of the Aries rising is that there is no change or conflict implied within the houses, so the Aries rising seeks to approach things all the time. Aries’ natural child-like curiosity and head-first attitude can break this uncomfortable closeness and awkward harmony between the signs and the houses, but for you, since Aries is intercepted, you might have issues breaking free from this inner desire to start new things for your own growth because you’d rather live in dreamland to distract from your inner desire to catalyze process as this can be complicated for you like I already explained in the beginning of the post. Now, considering that, Taurus in the 2nd suggests that you’re good with dealing with finances and probably earn money by using your finances or doing something in the direction of finances/business administration or others in that department, but at the same time you can be very withdrawn as you dislike impatience or energetic people around you while you study or work. You’re rather secretive about where your money’s from and trust yourself rather than others with your business affairs. Putting all this information together, it can be hard for you to actually start a project or actively participate in group projects because you are always fixated on the routine, persistence and self-sufficiency personally associated with long-term success. You strive for wealth and luxury, and in your mind it could be that you’d rather do everything by yourself so that you can have all the money that you earned for yourself in order to be the only responsible one over it: you can’t be told what to do with it and can manage it by yourself as you desire control over your status and possessions. (It’s also possible that you base your worth on the materials you own, which can be considered a motivation for your probably very calculated approach to finances and desire for more.)

Leo in the 6th house shifts this picture again, but you still stay true to your self-sufficiency. In your work place, you carry over the themes of wanting to do things your way and rarely compromising. Since, instead of a trine, your 2nd and 6th house rulers are in a square-relatioship, it's possible that your working process and what you base your identity on (I feel like with that Sun in the 6th and also in its domicile, you might feel like your identity is rooted in how hard you work and how your routine looks like. You probably make your work like a big part of you and are generally very aware of changes within your routine, which mostly rub you the wrong way lol) refuse to adapt to each other. So, essentially, you work your ass off and put your whole self into the work you're very passionate about, just to then lack financial reward. This I think because Taurus is sparing with its energy and rather economical in comparison to Leo, who gives away a lot of energy and does things with a burning passion. Mercury in its domicile in Virgo in the 6th can, like the Taurus placement, mean that there needs to be some type of breaking free of that strict virgo placement. It suggests a highly head-fixated mentality with a lot of overwhelming thoughts and inhibitions of letting them out. The themes of the Aries rising continue, but this time in the work place and implied into your routine. With the conjunction to the descandant in the same degree, it's also very likely that you overthink relationships or tend to be rather logical when it comes to them/have a hard time opening up (which can be connected with your Libra interception I've mentioned earlier and fuel the conflict between the self and relationships). Finally, it's likely that you're a big perfectionist in the work place, yet have difficulties communicating your visions to co-workers, which then leads to you just doing it all yourself.

Onto your empty 10th house in Sagittarius, it adds a want for exploration and natural curiosity to your career path and demands adaptation. Since almost all of it is in Capricorn though, I would go as far as to say that it suggests, again, a pattern to break free from because, like many placements in your chart, this placement is too “strictly” one sign with the corresponding house/planet/degree. Too much of the same thing is not preferable and can lead to problems, especially bundled up. With Capricorn and Sagittarius in the 10th, especially in the context of your chart, it can be that you look out too much for outer sources of exploration or other’s opinions on you when it comes to your work and career path. You want to reach many, but harm your own work in the process, because essentially what you need for receiving your desired material status is right there in the 2nd house with Taurus + the Aries interception. Allow yourself to be selfish and act out of your own wants and needs as you work toward your goal and plan the next step ahead.

You might also want to refrain to giving in to others’ expectations or making others do that for you as well. Be selfish on your own account and for your own goals, but when it comes to others, you can’t expect them to do things exactly your way. Accept help when you are in need but also don’t become too needy, same thing goes for others: don’t let them become too demanding and work on cutting clear lines and boundaries (coming back to Pisces/Virgo opposition and the heavily illuminated 6th house/Mercury/Virgo + the Pisces ascendant that rules the Aries interception).

The key is to form a healthy relationship between the self and the perception of it (looking at the sun and 5th house) and others and their needs (Venus is worth it to look at here and keep in mind that Leo can have a lot of self-esteem issues along with giving too much and expecting that in return, seeing as the archetype of Leo does not correspond with modern society’s stereotypes).

I hope this was insightful and can add perspective to your chart in hindsight to career as well as the reoccurring issue of the self vs relationships. Please note that this post is narrowed down to small parts of your chart and would look different if I were to interpreted the whole thing, which I won’t lol

Anyway, have a nice day and stay hydrated!

[triviareads]

Peccavi (In which the Bridgertons Talk About India)

1846

It had long since gotten dark by the time the family slowly traipsed into the drawing room at Bridgerton House. Dinner had ran overlong, perhaps due to the gaiety of the younger set, and the unwillingness of the older set to quash it, even as Aunt Sophie had quietly told them her and Benedict received a letter from Alexander, their son, who was now serving under Sir Hugh Gough somewhere in the northern regions of the Indian subcontinent. The pallor in Sophie’s expression and the dark shadows marring the skin under her eyes indicated nothing good, although none of the family had pressed further with all the children about.

But now, the younger, unmarried cousins had been chivvied off to bed, and Charlotte, along with the remaining family, eyed Sophie and Benedict with some trepidation.

“We didn’t want to say anything more in front of the children,” Aunt Sophie said at last, “but we received a letter from Alex, dated some months ago. He said, then, that they were preparing for war.”

Charlotte’s gaze flickered questioningly towards her husband Lord Clairmont, who looked unsurprised. But Charlotte could not help but shiver, faced with the sheer lack of knowledge her aunt, uncle, all of them, were in possession of, even as Alex was in danger, hurt, possibly dead an ocean away.

Charlotte’s mother spoke first.

“I’m sure he’ll be alright, Sophie. He is such a brave boy,” Kate said in soothing tones to her distraught sister-in-law. “He was always that way- brave, honorable, sensible- the first one in the family to enlist.”

“Besides,” Benedict added, in a seeming attempt to not only comfort his wife, but himself, “Alex is a commissioned officer. He certainly won’t be in the first line of defense. The native troops are there for that.”

“I know,” Sophie whispered. “But I cannot help but wonder- cannot help but think what could have changed since then-” she broke off, her breath hitching.

“Why is this happening?” Aunt Daphne asked quietly. “Why now?”

“I don’t know- well-” Sophie sniffed and unfolded the letter once more, “-He did mention some disagreement- infighting within the Punjab state, I think, but I could hardly make sense of it.”

“Their military is disordered, corrupt, according to Alex,” Benedict stated grimly. “They are a danger to all of them.”

“And so,” Uncle Michael sighed heavily, “It is up to our lot, as usual, to step in and keep the peace.” Michael had briefly been a colonial administrator under the Marquess of Hastings, during his tenure as Governor-General, in Madras.

“And the Company has its own interests too, Uncle,” Edmund added after a beat. “Is that not why they annexed the… Sindh Province, I think? Or what the war with the Chinese was about- the continued trade of opium?”

“Ghastly habit,” Aunt Lucy murmured.

“Free trade must prevail, my love,” Uncle Gregory, who had done rather well for himself by way of such investments, reminded his wife. “We are still Whigs.”

(Charlotte supposed free trade went hand-in-hand with the enormous profits the government was reaping off of this continued trade).

“There is… a greater purpose to all this,” Lord Geoffrey Findlay-Watt, cousin Caroline’s husband, said suddenly. He was generally a quiet man, jovial and happy to cede his share of attention onto others. This prompted everyone to look at him with rapt attention. What Geoffrey did for the Foreign Office was still a bit unclear, although they never really bothered to inquire further. For all all intents and purposes, Lord Geoffrey was merely a third son of a marquess who had become a part of the government bureaucracy.

“There has long been sentiment among certain elements within the government that Russia seeks to steal away our colonies in the east, especially India. They do this by invading much of Central Asia, slowly expanding their sphere of influence, cutting off our trade routes, port access, and such. The British government has a vested interest in preventing our crown jewel from falling into their hands.”

"Thus our efforts in Afghanistan and Sindh,” Lord Clairmont murmured.

Lord Geoffrey finished with, “A Russia-controlled India, indeed, a Russia-controlled Asia, would be nothing short of disastrous for the empire.”

“And so we make war instead,” Charlotte concluded from this little speech.

“We make war to make peace,” David corrected with the partisan fervency he had acquired after four years in the Commons as an MP of East Sussex.

Charlotte raised a brow at this statement. “You’ve been listening far too much to Palmerston,” she told David.

Charlotte's father turned to her with an odd look on his face. “And how exactly would you know of Palmerston’s rhetoric?” Anthony asked.

“She’s been the audience of many of his speeches, sir,” her husband spoke up for her, glancing at her and adding with the air of an inside-joke, “both directly and otherwise.”

Ah yes, one of Palmerston’s favorite methods of opinion-collecting: Whisper some policy or idea in the formidable Lady Palmerston’s ear, and she would proceed to casually mention it in during a party and gauge all the reactions before returning to her husband with this valuable intelligence.

“Of course,” Simon mused, “Pam was always been inclined to take the… active approach.”

Anthony rolled his eyes. “Aggressive, you mean. Although if you asked him, he would admit only to being a loyal servant of the Queen and Country.”

Palmerston, Charlotte had always thought, was many things, but his only loyalty was to himself.

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Simon said, “particularly when the Tories seem to shy away from any sort of conflict.”

It was Benedict who scoffed and said, “Whatever peace Peel and Aberdeen may profess to want, that does not discount the fact that we are at war, however far away it may be.”

“And now, soldiers like Alex will have to suffer for it, oceans away from their home,” Sophie concluded bitterly.

Charlotte’s brows furrowed. She understood the worry a mother felt for her son, but they had all known he was a soldier, hadn’t they? Hadn’t they known that war was perpetually on the horizon for a man in his profession?

(What was the old line from Horace as he spoke of war- ah, dulce et decorum est … she winced, suddenly recalling the second half of the stanza).

Then again, despite bearing two children herself, Charlotte often wondered why she did not possess the maternal instinct all her aunts naturally seemed to have in spades.

“Things could very well change, Aunt,” Oliver Crane was saying in soothing tones. “The conflict in these princely states could be resolved as quickly as they started. I have seen it with my own eyes. Many of them are merely quarreling over successions and such, and can be speedily appeased.”

Charlotte exchanged looks with her husband. If Lord Geoffrey’s work at the Foreign Office was generally a bit of a question-mark to the family, most of them had absolutely no idea what it was Oliver did. Charlotte knew a bit more than most of them, thanks to her husband. Brilliant, academic prize-winning Oliver had been introduced to the likes of Lord Geoffrey and Lord Palmerston before he had even graduated from Cambridge, and he had gone off to the East under mysterious circumstances, neither as a tourist nor as a soldier. (And Charlotte had her suspicions that his line of work was not precisely diplomatic in nature).

“Oh yes, I forgot you spent some time there, Oliver,” Sophie said. “Where is it that you were again? Anywhere near-” Sophie consulted the letter she was gripping onto, “-this Punjab?”

“Here and there,” Oliver replied vaguely. “I spent some time in Shimla near the end of my tour- I believe that is somewhat close.”

“Shimla?” Uncle Michael said suddenly, looking up from his whisky.

“Do you know of the place, Uncle?” Oliver asked.

A grin split across Michael’s handsome face. “I was there back in ‘22! This was, of course, when hardly any of our lot ventured there- just a group of civil servants like myself, or chaps looking for adventure. Now I hear it has become rather like Brighton.”

“I can attest to that,” Oliver said dryly. “The governor-general, all his attaches, and soldiers regularly summer there now, and of course, where the gentlemen go, the ladies follow. They have quite the merry time, from what I’ve seen.”

“Like a marriage mart in the tropics?” Kate asked smilingly, seemingly determined to bring some levity into their serious drawing room conversation and cheer up her sister-in-law.

“Yes, they now hold balls, concerts, picnics and all manner of diversions up there.”

Even Sophie could not could not hide her fascination with this notion of a little English city tucked away in the Himalayas.

“I remember when Shimla was not much more than the few odd cottages in the jungle, and villages around it,” Michael reminisced, closing his eyes as an almost-tranquil smile graced his lips. “There are those who liken it to England, because of the weather and such, but for me, there was nothing like it- the coolness of the hills even when the land around it would get blazing hot, the fiery sunsets and the long-moon nights, how you could stumble across some ledge high in the hills, and when you looked out, it felt as though you could see all the world before you.”

“It sounds beautiful,” Kate murmured, entranced- the entire room seemed to be. Only Aunt Francesca smiled indulgently up at her husband, as though he had recalled these tales a thousand times.

"And the people!” Michael went on. “Why, I have never met a more obliging race of people. Every morning, they would trudge up from the villages in the foothills, and perform their daily tasks. I remember one could not even take a carriage around the hills, so narrow were the paths, and instead, the ladies would sit in a jampan, a sort of sedan-chair, and four Native men would carry them ‘round. I have yet to meet more hard-working people than them.”

Sophie spoke after this little speech, sounding pained, “I find it curious how you could praise the same people who are currently waging war against us, against people like your nephew.” She looked at her brother-in-law, her moss-green eyes steely.

Before Michael could respond, Kate said quietly, “Come, Sophie, even you know that civilians and soldiers are not one and the same, even if they hail from the same lands.”

“Besides,” David said with confidence to his aunt, “They will not remain the enemy for long, soldier, civilian, or otherwise.”

“What will they be, then?” Charlotte could not help but ask her cousin. She looked around at all of them- Oliver, Geoffrey, Michael, David, her husband- all of them, caught up in the machinations of the Empire, and wondered what knowledge of the future they held.

Something glittered within David’s gaze when he replied. “One among ours.”

[xbloodrunsredx]

Could you tell me what you think of the way the creators have instilled Rick and Morty relationship thoughout the show ? I've noticed that you're pretty good at explaining things so I was wondering if you wanted to showcase the "proofs" of their relationship. Anyway I love your fanfic "fire consumes fire" and I'm reading it right now, it's great !

For sure! Have fun with Fire Consumes Fire, it's my baby <3

I'll analyse season one for now and point out the creative choices and underlying themes as my proof! Let me know if you want to see more seasons though :)

An important thing to remember is that things like grooming and sexual abuse are not just about touching someone or being touched. Things like exposing a child to/forcing a child to watch a sexual act, speaking to a child in a sexually explicit way, and undressing yourself or them (typically older than the age they'll need to be bathed for that one) all count as aspects and types of sexual abuse.

Now some people might think that's less important because Morty is fourteen and at that age where male sexuality is a little more domineering but, canonically, Rick has been in Morty's life since he was twelve at most, possibly younger.

(Rick celebrating Morty's 13th birthday: Mindblowers)

There's a lot of time missing, and if we're assuming that Rick's attitude has remained consistent, then it means this has been a common theme since Morty was prepubescent.

The first episode is relatively tame, but it plays an important role in establishing the family hierarchy, and does a lot with the ever infamous megaseeds. There have been a lot of fanfictions about the seeds and for good reason - though not overtly sexual in nature, it establishes a certain level of control over Morty. Morty lacks bodily autonomy and the ability to tell Rick no. He does what Rick says, even if it means sacrificing his own body, and it is the first step the creators took in creating a warped dynamic between them. It sets the stage for further abuse of power by Rick, which is important to make the future episodes realistic and true to character consistently. Somewhat separately, throughout the show you'll see me note instances where you can see the show easing us into sexually explicit interactions between the two - we are desensitised to Morty's blatant sexuality before we're introduced to Rick's, which is really interesting considering who they are. The difference is that they need to put in more work to make Morty someone viewed through a sexual lens in an effort to get us used to him and how we'll see him portrayed in the future. Then they introduce Rick's sexuality, and even later how their sexualities interact with each other.

This next episode draws directly on the assumptions we make based on the first episode about sexuality, and expands even further. When incepting Morty's math teacher, we now see a focus on Rick's sexuality - he involves himself in bondage in a sex dungeon in front of Morty, and encourages Morty to participate. This time we see Morty deny him, clearly not comfortable with it despite being intrigued. Something really interesting is Summer in this episode: while some may not think it's important in relation to Rick and Morty's relationship, her trying to sleep with them establishes the first theme of incest we see in the show and sets a playing field: the creators are saying it's their show and they can make who they want to be sexual to who they want.

Something else I think is important in season one is that after heavily sexual episodes, we get a break where the following episodes are family based. That's why we're skipping anatomy park for now, to go into episode four: the episode where Rick undresses himself, forces Morty to undress, steals his clothes and makes him walk around naked. Sure, his intentions aren't outwardly nefarious - there is reasonable evidence that Rick knew Morty was a simulation for a decent while, but I'll focus on if he didn't for now - but that doesn't make it less important to the development of abuse structures. Morty is incapable of telling Rick no when Rick puts his mind to doing something: the surrender of autonomy to Rick is really important for creating an abusive cycle. What if Rick had been lying? How would Morty have known? What could he have done? Morty gives in without really knowing what he's giving into.

Meeseeks and Destroy, in my opinion, is one of the most important episodes in determining abuse. Something I like to think about, is the central figure of Morty's life. Rick, right? When Morty chooses his own adventure, it's akin to him trying to reclaim his autonomy and trying to exert his influence. He tries to become his own central figure, and in doing so he meets Mr Jellybean. Two things happen as a result: Morty associates being in control of himself with getting assaulted, and we see a demonised version of Rick in Mr Jellybean. Hear me out! Mr Jellybean is the replacement of Rick in this episode as a figure that shoves Morty around, makes him uncomfortable, makes him do things he doesn't want to do, but with a sexual twist. Mr Jellybean's temper when he doesn't get what he wants and the sudden calm when he does, is eerily reflective of blackout drunk Rick.

We get a mix of a family episode and a sexually explicit episode here so I won't go into too much detail - but the distinct separation of Rick and Morty from the rest of their family when they leave creates a dynamic where Morty can rely on Rick as the only constant. It separates him from the rest of his family and the rest of the world in a lot of ways, which heavily contributes to his mindset.

The next episode is one where the creator definitely try and push a distrust by the family in regards to Rick and Morty's relationship. Rick lets Morty buy a sex bot while they're out named Gwendolyn - Morty adapts quickly and happily to his more sexually active lifestyle until he asks Rick to come upstairs. Beth says then: "Okay, now if we hear squeaking, we intervene." Rick is attempting to fix Gwendolyn and jumps on the bed, which prompts the entire family to come to Morty's room to stop whatever it is that is happening. Like I've mentioned previously, they follow really explicit episodes with family stuff - this episode somewhat follows that by splitting it in half: half is explicit and the rest has Rick and Morty separated while we take in the new information given to us. Beth thought Rick would have sex with Gwendolyn, possibly in a threesome or something - if the character believes it, then the creators wants us to believe it too.

The next two episodes are family orientated, where we focus less on Rick and Morty and more specific members of their family, we're introduced to a flipped dynamic via Evil Morty and his Rick. Morty ponders his own worth as Rick devalues his existence and treats him like one would an object which is another aspect of abuse that gets referenced in the future. My interest for now lies in the use of Mortys and how they're viewed by Ricks. Evil Morty perpetuates that and attempts to go about it in a Rick-esque way. Which, of course, means tying naked teenagers to the outside of a building - there isn't a need for them to be naked, but Evil Morty does that in order to push the idea of it being something a Rick would cook up while also turning on himself. The idea that there are good Ricks, bad Ricks and worse Ricks makes for an interesting idea that begs the question: if the Rick next to C-137 on the scale is believed to be capable of doing that to hundreds of Mortys, then what is our Rick capable of?

The last episode is undeniably tame by comparison and is another family orientated episode to make up for the last one. It is undeniable that a lot of work has been put into making Rick and and Morty's dynamic reflect that of sexual abuse and grooming, a theme that grows more apparent with every new season.

[vampiresuns]

Day 1: Hometown

This is the masterpost for @arcana-echoes​‘s first prompt Hometown, and it provides further insight besides the fics for the Trio I’ve posted.

Remember you can always read more about the Radošević-Cassano in this post, with their family tree.

Anatole | Letter To The Boy I Was, From The Man I Became, About The Love He Will Find

Anatole wasn’t primarily raised in Vesuvia, but in Bgraz, the second biggest city in the Democratic Federation of Balkovia, and the capital of its Federative district. He was born at dawn, at 5:47 am, the first day of November, during the first year of the Balkovian Wars. Balkovia is modelled after Yugoslavian territories, and Bgraz after Zagreb. This is because Anatole is a Latine-Slav, like me. Therefore, while it’s not an exact comparison, the Balkovian wars are modelled after the Former Yugoslavian wars, with everything they entailed, which I do not need to go into detail. This comes directly from my identity and the way I engage with it. 

Anatole used to live in a two stories flat in one of the more well-off, yet still central parts of the city with his parents — Vladislav, or Vlad for short (Valerius’ older brother) — and Louisa, his mother, who is coded as a Chilean expat.

The war on itself didn’t occur in Bgraz for the most part, except for one retaliation incident which made the family go to Vesuvia for a short while, though not immediately, as Anatole’s mother, Louisa, is a doctor and volunteered as a doctor during the war, to help civilians targeted during it, so after the attack on the city and her volunteering, they retreated to Vesuvia as a way to take a break, along with other members of the family, like Mircea, Anatole’s grandfather, who is married to a Vesuvian man, called Florentino Cassano.

Anatole’s first memory after the war is his parents wedding, as they had decided to get married after the war was over. He spent his early childhood bouncing and learning, between his parents flat, his grandparents home — an old house on some hills in the city, which had a big tree over it’s back door. It was Anatole’s favourite hanging spot, specially because he got to “surprise” his uncle Valeriy (Valerius), as he used to meet with his boyfriends with that door. Not because he wasn’t allowed to or anything, he’s just dramatic.

The love Anatole has for his home town is completely different than the love he has for Vesuvia. Vesuvia, one of his thirds, always occupied a place of wonder to him, when he was little, he used to say (decree) he would find a job that would allow him to live half the year in Balkovia, half in Vesuvia. However, two things happened: number one, Anatole, as a person, is a meeting point for three different cultural identities which makes him stand out without meaning to. If you consider what I’ve already said about Balkovia, the underlying and not so underlying tensions in it was something Anatole noticed very young, and it positioned him in certain ways towards his identity. While the Radošević are not directly linked to politics, and prefer majorly technical positions rather than political offices, they are heavily influenced by Anatole’s great grandmother, Elysian Radošević who used to be heavily involved with leftist partisans.

On top of that, Anatole is a Cassano. The Cassano, while being a Vesuvian High Family, have a very distinctive pro-city, pro-people outlook at life, and during Anatole’s upbringing, two of his close relatives, his great grandfather Iovanus, and his Uncle Valeriy, where Consuls of Vesuvia, neither of them having, politically speaking, the best relationship with the Countship, specially Iovanus. The saying about the Cassano is that they’re the last thing that will stand between the City and that which seeks to harm it, many og them occupying political offices which directly dealt with welfare and social security, which also deeply affected Anatole. 

Lastly, Anatole is latine, an identity he relates to through music — a lot of it protest music, folklorical new song or party music, which is what his mother listened to — and his mother’s personal history. Louisa is a woman who left her home country because she was sent away to study medicine by her parents because of her political views, which opposed the Dictatorship which her country was going through.

All of this has made him look at his own identity and his own home spaces, as a constant in between. This feeling of in-betweeness and sometimes diaspora (from where? From what? From whom?) was exacerbated when he began being privately tutored from the age 14 and on, as this included travelling around different parts of the world throughout most of the year. He travelled with his cousins, Amparo and Milenko, but they didn’t always travelled together, since their academic curriculums didn’t always align. At this time, he began spending half his summers in Vesuvia, half in Balkovia — where he also spent other education breaks, if the travelling schedule allowed it. His parents ended up visiting more, than he ended up going back to Balkovia.

This, and all the time he spent with his two Vesuvian-raised cousins made him start feeling more familiar with Vesuvia than Balkovia altogether.

When he was 17, he decided to follow the Cassano footsteps into Vesuvian politics. The rest is history.

Amparo | The Thousand Lives of Amparo Cassano

Amparo is the only daughter of Cassiopeia Cassano and Iris Ravella-Cassano. Cassiopea a Vesuvian politician and diplomat — she was the one originally intended to inherit the Consul’s office, not Valerius, but she stepped down out of having troubles with Valerius’ mother, Matilda (Vlad and Val weren’t raised by their parents, but by their uncles Mircea and Florentino), preferring to keep a minor office, and not ending up estranging herself from her family by virtue of arguing with her older cousin. On the other side, Iris was the youngest child of another prominent Vesuvian family, who did not wish to either follow the family trade or marry someone their family approved.

Amparo was raised in the Palazzo the Cassano inhabit, in the Heart District of Vesuvia.

Amparo as a kid was somehow rambunctious and well behaved, at the same time. She was curious and energetic, but she was also liked or tried to pay attention to what was happening around her, often making it a great source of inspiration.

Vesuvia, her hometown, ended up being the greatest inspiration of them all. She lived there until she was 15, when she began being privately tutored and toured around different prominent theatres for the sake of seasonal apprenticeships, which she did with Anatole and Milenko, when their schedules collided. As I’ve already mentioned they all prepared for different things, therefore their itineraries weren’t always the same. She was the one less affected by the travelling on itself, while it changed her, Amparo saw it as a necessary, character building step — as a way to cope and process changes, she made dancing performances in her own room, which she sometimes showed to her cousins. Through movement and stories she found catharsis, in a different way than Milenko: what she sought in these stories was the trace of evidence in them.

Imagine, she would think, all the stories she had to contribute to Vesuvia when she came back. Her relationship with her hometown is a discursive one: she acts, and when she acts for it, she lives a thousand lives which may touch upon others and by doing that, she changes her own.

Milenko | Baby, It’s A Wild World

Milenko, Anatole’s second cousin, was raised, primarily in Vesuvia. His grandfather Blasio and his spouse Ilnya Radošević lived in both Balkovia and Vesuvia on and off, until Ilnya was permanently offered a position as a palace scientist. Blasio is a composer and dramaturg, which is something he could do in both places. Ilnya died rather young, when them and Blasio’s children, Atanasie and Violeta, had a couple of years of age, and the Cassano offered to take them in.

The Cassano and the Radošević see their family cores as one single family, despite many of them are not being actually related, which comes from some of them having been friends before two of their branches married between families. So them being of the mentality of ‘something happens to one of us and it happens to all of us’, they offered to take them in while Blasio got back on his feet.

In the end, Blasio never fully left Vesuvia, taking it as a seat and becoming a notable dramaturg, lyricist and composer in Goldgrave. Blasio still visited his federative quarter of Balkovia (Blasio is coded to be Bosnian) with frequency, mostly to see his parents and his siblings, or those Radošević who were more rarely seen in Vesuvia. The visits stopped when the war in Balkovia began, except for one visit, and after that, while Violeta and Aurora, her wife, continued to visit with some frequency, it was more of a vacation thing than a permanent settling.

Milenko had the inverse process of Anatole about the Vesuvia-Balkovia relationship. For him it is a blend of places, which is impossible to describe and his in-betweeness is simply another item on the list. He asks less what does it mean to be and more what beauty can be taken from it. Both places are intertwined in his imagination, and often run more parallel, blending and reforming, and collapsing and rebuilding over and over again. Everything is, and it sure is a lot — Vesuvia is multicultural, chaotic, sometimes overcrowded, and has been through so much. It’s people are positively feral, and maybe that’s why Milenko thinks of home, and thinks of it as one amalgamation of things: because the energy of these two places, while different in species, belongs to the same genre.

One day, he’ll say about his hometown that when magic dies, Vesuvia will be the last place it will keep on living, completely unaware it will become the type of quote you see on pinterest all the time.

It’s why he came back to Vesuvia after his education related travels were done. While he lived in Venterre for some time, spent a questionable season in Nopal, and had to flee Macawi once, that “itness” as he calls it, is somewhere he’s only found in the sea of Balkovia and the streets of Vesuvia.

[hedgebelle]

Cultural References in “They Are Out There Saying”

It took me forever to compile it, but here it is! A brief explanation on all the references to Japanese culture I made in my JayDick Summer Exchange fic “They Are Out There Saying”.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25707886/chapters/62420596

When I got the prompt from @paperempires​ calling for the Batman Ninja verse, I was like, you want 16th century Japan? I SHALL DELIVER.

Ok, so first, let’s talk about geography.

Right now, Japan is divided into prefectures, but in the past there were provinces. Check out the map below.

Green: Hida Province

Aka the province where this fanfic actually takes place. Nowadays the Hida-Takayama region in Gifu Prefecture.

Located there is the hidden village of the Bat Clan, the calligrapher's house, as well as real places briefly mentioned: Takayama city with its castle (ruins) and Tenshōji Temple (associated with True Pure Land school of Buddhism), and Shirakawa Village (diamond shape on the map).

Btw, Shirakawa Village is a UNESCO world heritage site and overall a lovely place. If you have a chance to visit it, please do. Here, check it out 😊.

Also, Hida is one of the two places in all of Japan where gneiss, a type of metamorphic rock, can be found. A piece of trivia I learned from my best friend (who might or might have not dared me to fit gneiss somewhere in the fanfic) 😉. The second place where gneiss can be found - again, true fact - are Oki Islands, the archipelago north of the Grand Izumo Shrine.

Dark red: Owari Province

Nowadays part of Aichi Prefecture.

According to the Batman Ninja (the version with Japanese voice over) Joker made himself a feudal lord of this province. Which is kinda interesting, seeing as Oda Nobunaga (1534-1582), one of the key players during the warring states period who started the unification of Japan, was a lord of that domain.

Located in Owari is also Alfred's teahouse 😊.

Yellow: Kai Province

Nowadays, it's Yamanashi Prefecture.

Penguin made himself a feudal lord of this domain. In Batman Ninja he really commanded penguins wearing samurai armour 😂.

Violet line: Tōkaidō Road

A tract that linked Kyoto, a seat of the emperor, and Edo (present day Tokyo), the seat of shogun.

So, traveling the Tōkaidō Road didn't become a thing until the 17th century ^^". But I figured, if castles can be weaponized in this verse, then I can send Jason down this road 😊.

On the side note, travelling the Tōkaidō Road became quite a subject in the culture of the Edo Period (1600-1868). For example, check out these famous ukiyo-e.

Star: the Grand Shrine of Izumo

Very much a real place. One of the three most important Shintō shrines in all of Japan. Worshipped there is Okuninushi no Okami, god of marriage. When praying in the Grand Shrine, a pilgrim is supposed to clap their hands four times, not just two like everywhere else. That's because in that Shrine one is not praying just for themselves, but for their destined partner too. 

The Grand Shrine is located in the Izumo Province - nowadays a part of Shimane Prefecture. 

*Even today Izumo is called a place where fates are being brought together 😉.

Circle: Mt Hiei

Again, a real place, located very close to Kyoto. The Enryakuji temple located on that mountain historically had big influence also due to the fact, it commanded its own army of warrior monks. Some further reading on them, if your interested, is here.

(Btw, the Enryakuji Temple is also a UNESCO world heritage site.)

It was emperor Shirakawa (1053-1129) who one said that the only things he does not have control over are the roll of dice, the waters in Kamo River and the warrior monks of the Enryakuji Temple.

*Kamo River flows through Kyoto.

Square: Inabayama Castle

Nowadays called Gifu Castle, located in Gifu City, Gifu Prefecture 😊. One of few castles built on top of a mountain.

Triangle: Mt Osore

A real place, considered one of the most sacred in all of Japan. A site of Bodaiji Temple. Due to the volcanic activity in the area, there's sulfur both in the air and in the lake right by the temple - hence its striking colour. Otherwise, the landscape is barren. 

It is said that Mt Osore matches the description of Buddhist hell, and holds the entrance to the afterlife. For some further, light reading check here.

If you think to yourself wooow that's a lot of references then fear not - there's more 😂.

Other references

Fuke Sect of Buddhism 

Monks of this sect, as a part of their practise, wore basket hats, played flute, and were on constant pilgrimage. 

Travel, however, used to be heavily restricted, so in exchange for a special travel permit, monks were asked to spy for the shogun. Also, ninja (and other people involved in espionage) were known to donn on the attire of a Fuke Sect monk. For that reason, monks were sometimes asked to play on their flutes to prove their identity.

In Batman Ninja Jason is operating undercover as one of those monks.

Check this, for some further reading.

Direction of the Demon’s Gate

It’s north-west. It was believed that demons and evil spirits enter through that direction, hence it was considered unlucky.

Rokuyō (lucky/unlucky days)

A circle of six days, three of which are thought to various degrees lucky, another three - to various degrees unlucky. The most unlucky one is called butsumetsu and apparently is meant to symbolise the day Budda died.

Ri

Old unit of measurement. 1 ri ≈ 3.9 km ≈ 2.4 mi

Sexagenary cycle

A cycle of 60 years. It was traditionally used in China for time reckoning, and was known in other South-East Asian countries too.

For some further reading click here.

Golden leaf

Kaga Province (north-east of Hida; now part of Ishikawa Prefecture) is known as the biggest producer of golden leaf in all of Japan.

Zen Circle

On the photo below:

It’s an important symbol in Zen Buddhism that stands for enlightenment, absolute, the void. In Japanese calligraphy and sumi-e (ink painting), drawing the circle is seen as an expression of absolute freedom of the mind that lets the body create. If it’s closed, it symbolises perfection. If not, it becomes an expression of wabi-sabi - a concept in Japanese aesthetics that translates to beauty of imperfection.

Kappa

One of the fantastic creatures that appears in many Japanese folktales. Kappa is a water demon that (unsurprisingly) dwells in lakes and rivers. It is rather mean and known to cause mischief, but surprisingly enough - very fond of cucumbers.

Ogre (oni)

One of the fantastic creatures featured in Japanese folklore. Usually portrayed with red skin, horns, and a tall, hulking figure; as a concept somewhat similar to demons or devils, as they represent everything evil and harmful (and also, oni reside in the eight great hells). It was believed a human wicked beyond any redemption might turn into an ogre.

Haikai-no renga

A genre of linked verse poetry. It is made of 18 or 36 verses that alternatively have 17 (5-7-5) or 14 (7-7) syllables. It is less formal than an earlier genre, renga, and as such is supposed to be lighter, witty, comical even. There aren't as many rules dictating which verse is supposed to have a direct allusion to which, how many times and in which verses certain motives (like flowers, moon, seasons) can be mentioned. 

Still, the first verse is supposed to contain kigo, so a word or phrase that indicates the season - in the fanfic it’s May (rice planting season) which is classified as early summer in the old lunar calendar - or in some other clever way gives an allusion to the environment the poetry meeting took place in. The first verse is also supposed to be written by the guest of honour which is why Jason was asked to compose it 😊. Important is also the third verse, as that’s where the theme of the whole haikai-no renga is officially established. 

From the first verse of haikai-no renga evolved possibly the most recognisable form of Japanese poetry - haiku.

Lovers’ suicide

A suicide committed together at the same time by the lovers whose shared affection defied the rules of society and/or obligations to their families. Before commiting the act, they would usually pray to be reborn together on the same lotus flower in the Pure Land. 

Lovers’ suicide is a theme featured in plays for pupper theater bunraku, most prominently The Love Suicides at Sonezaki written by Chikamatsu Monzaemon.

Pure Land

In a nutshell: According to some schools of Buddhism in Japan, Pure Land where people can be reborn and practice pure version of Buddhism, thus are able to finally gain enlightenment (which is impossible when alive, because the practice in the land of the living is warped, impure).

Please, take my way too short explanation with a grain of salt. It might not seem that way, but I’m not all that knowledgeable about Buddhism ^^”.

Nenbutsu prayer

Practised in True Pure Land Buddhism. It’s basically a recitation of a short phrase that translates to “I take refuge in Buddha Amida”.

Kannon

The bodhisattva associated with compassion.

Vengeful ghost

It was believed that a person who harboured a deep grudge or hatred in their last living moments towards those who had wronged them could become a vengeful spirit.

 *Hoichi the Earless - one of the traditional horror stories. In this story, vengeful ghosts (of the fallen Taira clan) want to take with them a blind monk because he beautifully plays on biwa (traditional instrument). Once his brethren realise the danger Hoichi is in, they paint his whole body in Buddhist sutra, safe for his ears. Because of that, when the ghosts appear again, Hoichi - safe for his ears - is invisible to them. Spoiler alert, the ghosts take Hoichi’s ears, thus the earless in the title. Check out here for some further reading.

Ten Virtues of Tea

Text attributed to a Buddhist monk Myōe (1173-1232. It lists all the properties of green tea beneficial to the human body and soul. 

Translation can be found here.

Portuguese firearms

Historically, the first Europeans Japanese people came in contact with were Potuguese traders. They introduced many European goods including firearms. 

On the unrelated note, the Potuguese in that time period were referred to as Nanbanjin (南蛮人) which translates to southern barbarians.

Eight great hells

...are the concept of hell in the traditional culture in a nutshell. The concept itself was heavily influenced by Buddhism. 

Further reading is available here.

Shinto wedding ceremony

While it incorporates many rites, the most core one (as far as I know) features the groom and the bride taking turns drinking sake (rice wine) from three cup, each slightly bigger than the other. When drinking, they are supposed to sip three times. 

In feudal times, wedding ceremonies started with an elaborate bridal procession to the groom’s house. There, the dowry would be presented, blessings would be given, and then the bride and groom would take turns drinking sake as described above. 

...Okay, I believe that’s it. Thank you for reading!

[ink-and-flame]

Kinktober Day 12: Intensity Imposed

Kinktober Day 12 Prompts: Given away to another Dom (temp) ~ Manicures (giving) ~ Lectures for misbehavior Fandom: Original (Auchendale Archives) Tags: exophilia, dom/sub, angst, Pairing: ?(M)/Human(f), Orc(m)/Human(f), Lucien/Lia, Darnok/Lia

[Author’s Note: I have been reading the comments for this series on the blog and on my Ao3 and I appreciate everyone who chooses to comment. Though I feel that the line of commenting requires me to warn a little more heavily that this story is going to get more angsty and a lot darker going forward. Later parts will have quite a few trigger warnings for content. I have this all mapped out and there may be some changes in where events fall, but I just want to put that out there for people that might be sensitive to it.]

The club had hosted events over the last few months, a couple for everyone and one that was meant for the VIP guests only. Darnok and Lia attended them all and found joy in experiencing new scenes, watching others, and learning more about each other. As time passed, they grew closer and the lines began to blur between their dominant and submissive lifestyle, and their vanilla ones. 

Darnok had been texting and calling Lia more frequently and had even done so while he was working, something he had never done in the past. While Lia had come close to inviting him over several times, instead she invited him to a work event where she was allowed to bring guests. It was expected that he would decline, but she felt she needed to at least invite him.

It was needless to say that Lia was shocked when he showed up, cutting quite the figure in his custom suit. Her coworkers did not stop asking about him for weeks after that and she had to insist that he was just a close friend as she feared what might happen if she let herself say they were more. She wasn’t comfortable explaining their actual relationship with anyone, but honestly they were feeling more and more like a couple as time passed. 

There were still a few instances that had Lia a little suspicious, but nothing that stood out in a way that said she needed to worry. She understood that Danok needed his privacy and she had made peace with that. Something that had taken time, but Lia was still proud of herself when she realized it didn’t bother her as much. She was certain it had to do with the increased amount of time they spent together, and all the new scenes they were doing. It was hard to be bothered by something when she was having the best sex of her life. 

Each new scene brought with it a new thrill, and new kinks to discover. Not every one of them worked out, and some of them were absolutely a sometimes thing and not an always thing. Lia was happy she wasn’t the only one finding new kinks to enjoy. Darnok had explored a little as well and found things he liked that he had never thought of before. Lia was still submissive in these scenes, but he had begun to enjoy their role play scenarios more and more with each one they tried. 

Lia was waiting at the club in the lounge with Ember. Darnok had warned her he would be late just so she wouldn’t worry too much. Lia had noticed some tension in him the last few weeks or so and figured it was something with work. Especially with him being late, he was never late on their club weekends. 

Darnok had been fighting with himself over the decision he was about to make. It could break things with Lia, but it was necessary. He had overstepped in their relationship, had grown too close, too possessive, and he was worried for how it was making him treat his beautiful little sub. Lia deserved everything, the world really, but he was limited in what he could give her. He only wanted what was best for her, what would fulfill her, and he realized that maybe he was holding her back from finding something more. 

He could not budge on the restrictions he had placed on their relationship. His vanilla life had to remain separate and as time went on, it became harder and harder to make that separation with Lia. Darnok knew he had feelings for her, how deep those feelings went were still a mystery. There were times he was convinced he had fallen in love with her, but worried that it was infatuation and not actual love. She was different from the women he was used to. She didn’t seem to be attracted to his power or money, but that didn’t mean she was immune to it. He was used to being used by women, but Lia was different from every other woman he had grown close to. It was making him just a little crazy.

Tonight, he worried she wouldn’t understand. That his choice was to hurt, but it wasn’t. He wanted her to experience more than she had so far and there was only one way to do that. Maybe this was selfish, maybe he was pushing her away  now before she could hurt him, but he wasn’t trying to push her away completely. He just needed to know the truth. Was it him, or could any dominant bring out her perfection?

Arriving at the club Darnok was happy to see that Lucien was already there and sitting with Lia and Ember. He had to admit, Ember had been a blessing for Lia. Having a friend she could confide in, and draw strength and confidence from was a beautiful thing. Heading over to the crew Darnok sat next to Lia and kissed her hand in greeting. This would not be easy, and he was close to backing out.

“Ah finally, I have been practically vibrating with excitement. I almost blew the whole thing!” Lucien bounced on the couch in the most dignified manner. 

Lia laughed and looked at Lucien. “Almost blew what, and you excited is weirdly adorable.”

Lucien made a noise that sounded a bit like a squeak, which was an accomplishment as his voice was quite deep and had a strange echo to it. 

Before Darnok could address the situation properly Lucien blurted out the surprise. “Tonight Lia, you are mine!”

Lia’s eyes were wide and she turned slowly to Darnok who looked somewhere between exasperated and displeased.

“Yes, tonight, after months of being badgered, I have agreed to allow Lucien to scene with you tonight. As always, you are not my slave and you can refuse, but it is my hope that you will agree to this.” Darnok’s tone was even, his expression somewhat guarded. He did not want to influence her decision. 

Lia frowned looking confused. “Did I do something wrong?”

Darnok shook his head. “Of course not. I thought it would be good for your continued education to experience a different dominant, someone who has different wants and experiences than myself. Lucien has been offering me nothing short of his soul for this opportunity. I felt that this would be the perfect time as we are both expanding our interests.”

Lia glanced at Lucien and could see his barely contained excitement. His eyes were so bright she was convinced they were glowing. Looking back at Darnok, she had to ask. “Are you taking one of his subs in exchange?” This was a hard question to ask, but she had to know. 

“No. This is my way of trying not to ruin your weekend by needing to cancel. I am afraid something came up. I have to meet with an orc from another clan. This was sprung on me and while I know a little about Gorvaal, we have never officially  met. He insisted it be this weekend, and I could not get out of it.”

It was hard to hide her shock. Lia had never heard Darnok speak of orc clan things, he tended to keep that part of himself private as well. Though Lia wasn’t sure why but maybe it was because she wasn’t an orc and perhaps he felt she wouldn’t understand. This sounded important and she was sad to lose time with him, but understanding overall.

“Darnok, you could have just canceled I would have understood.” She wasn’t trying to insult Lucien, but she wasn’t sure how comfortable with all this she was. 

“I am aware, but I felt that at least one of us should have a nice weekend, and Lucien was never going to stop so this seemed like a fun compromise. He knows that if you aren’t comfortable with something, that you wont do it and that he cannot force you. He is safe, I promise Lia, I would never hand you over to someone I did not fully trust.” Darnok smiled and stroked  Lia’s cheek. “Also, having Lucien in our debt could be quite lucrative for us. Maybe not island get away lucrative, but still.” 

Sitting there looking a bit thoughtful, Lia realized that perhaps this wasn’t the worst thing that could happen. Darnok wasn’t tired of her or angry, he just wanted her to experience something different. The last part about Lucien owing them, well that was interesting. If she was honest she didn’t know Lucien all that well and this could be her opportunity to learn more about him and having him as a friend was never a bad thing. 

“Ok, you are right I was being sensitive. This is a good learning opportunity. I hope everything goes well with your meeting.” Lia smiled up at Darnok.

“Perfect.” Darnok leaned in and kissed Lia on the forehead. “I must go, I trust Lucien with my own life, and I am trusting him with yours.”

Darnok stood and headed out. He hoped that they both got what they needed from this evening, though a small part of him hissed little words of worry at him. The seed of jealousy planted, not yet growing, but there ready to sprout if tended to. 

Lia turned to Lucien. “I, don’t really know how to begin.”

“Oh don’t worry darling. I already have a room set up for us and my bags are there. We don’t have to start until you are ready. I promise, no matter what you are expecting, it wont be.” His smile was cryptic as he brushed his long hair from his face. 

It was probably her imagination, but Lucien’s horns looked larger somehow. His ears more pointed, his skin more textured. He was looking more inhuman the longer she stared and Lia was worried she was imagining things because she was worried. “I know you wont hurt me, we can start, or at least head to the room and begin negotiations.”

Lia waved to Ember and followed Lucien to the room they would be using. She was nervous but also a little excited. She had not really expected anything like this and wasn’t sure what Lucien would have her do. The room had a table, some comfortable chairs, and some other basic furniture. Overall, nothing too extreme in that sense and it helped her relax a bit. 

Lucien sat down and waved her over to a chair opposite him and began to place items from a bag on the table. “I know you won’t have any professional experience. I am not looking for that today. This is just soothing to me, don’t judge.”

Confusion filled her as he placed bowls, small jars, brushes, and mixtures she could not immediately identify on the table. Once she saw the nail polish she was even more confused and her confusion showed clearly on her face when she spoke. “What? Um what are we doing?”

“You, dearest, are going to give me a manicure. I like to be pampered by those that serve me. I had considered letting you do my horns, but I thought I would start with something simple. Don’t worry I can provide instruction if you get lost.”

Lia blinked, looking at Lucien suspiciously. “You hounded Darnok for months, and you want me to do your nails?”

The smile on Lucien's face unnerved Lia a bit. There was something deeply unsettling about that smile and she felt somewhat like prey that has gotten a little too comfortable with a predator. 

“For now, that is all I am asking of you.” Moving his hands on the table he gestured to the bowls. “First you will need to put some water in and mix a little of the contents of these jars and I can soak my hands first.”

Lia nodded, following the instructions. She was still suspicious but this seemed easy by comparison to anything else that had ever been asked of her. His hands felt interesting and she found herself stroking over his skin, and marveling at his long dark nails which looked suspiciously like claws to her. 

“You love him.”

Head lifting up quickly Lia looked at Lucian with wide eyes.  “What?”

“You love him, you love him so much it hurts you. I can see it, sense it, smell it on you. He is more than just a dominant to you. You love him and you want to be with him.” 

Swallowing hard Lia looked down and focused on the hands in front of her. She could lie, say he was mistaken, but she felt that he would point out that lie and she did not want to risk angering him. “Why does it matter?”

“I could ask you any number of similar questions, but the truth is you love him.”

“If I do?” Lia was curious now, what Lucien wanted from all this. 

“I like you.” Lucien was smiling, this one more gentle. “I worry for you little mortal.”

Lia stared hard at him, questions on the tip of her tongue she feared asking outright. “You like me? So you are hoping to entice me away?”

Lucien laughed his eyes sparkling. “I doubt that I could. Such is the way of mortal love. Once a heart is as set as yours, swaying it takes more than one of my kind would usually bother with. Though the reward would be worth the pain, I assure you, but no, that is not my goal.”

It was hard not to be suspicious of him and now Lia had to wonder just what Lucien really was. “So if you aren’t trying to steal me away, why are we here talking about my feelings?”

“I told you. I am worried. You are holding it inside yourself. I can see that you are in pain, that you are taking risks. You let him guide your wants and desires but do you do it because you want it, or because you hope if you impress him enough that you will earn what you want most from him?”

Lia winced, a twinge of pain twisting through her as she dried his hands and began to clean away the dead skin, rubbing a nice lotion in at his request, and starting to shape his now somewhat softened claws. Though if she was honest, she was sure they weren’t actually softer it was just her mind telling her that was how it had to be. 

Lucien had hit on something tender and fragile inside of her. It was a question she had asked herself many times and it was one she had yet to answer. She wanted to believe she did it for herself, but there was a nagging voice that told her she also wanted to impress Darnok. Lucien was not far from the truth, but it wasn’t a simple either or situation. 

“You seem to know everything, you tell me.” It wasn’t the nicest answer and Lia expected a reprimand.

“I wouldn’t say everything, but I know more than most. I see what mortals cannot or will not, and I read people better than they know themselves. Your anger is misplaced. I am not the one you should lash out at.”

“Then who?”

“Well now, isn’t that the question of the day? Learning to ask the right questions is the first step to further opening your mind, and that is really all I want from this session today.” Lucien pointed to the colors he wanted and picked up his phone to show her the design he was after. “I hope it isn’t too complicated?”

“No, I can manage that. I do my own nails sometimes, never anything like this though.” Lia used the distraction of the manicure to think for a bit. 

What did Lucien actually mean about asking the right questions. Why couldn’t he just tell her and not be cryptic. It was frustrating, but entirely Lucien. She honestly wasn’t surprised that he was turning out to be some cryptic elder creature or some such. She was still torn between dragon and demon, though he could be something else entirely as well. 

“These are nice colors. I think they will look striking on you.” Lia made conversation, not really knowing where to go from her. 

Her heart sank as she thought of reasons why Lucien would choose this topic, of everything else they could talk about. What if that orc meeting was an arranged marriage. That was a horrible thought and Lia had to physically shake her head to banish that thought and looked up at Lucien with a blush. 

“You make it seem like we are going to do scenes together again.”

“Well I certainly hope we do. I know that you will never see me the way you see him, and that I cannot give you your heart's desire, but I can give you other things. It would please me if you would consider, when Darnok is not available, that I be a substitute for loneliness?” 

Lia found that there was something in his eyes that seemed genuine enough that she wasn’t  ready to outright say  no. “Does Darnok know?”

“About the topic of our discussion? Or that I want to spend more time with you?”

“Both.” Lia was pleased with the base coat and the first coat of the polish. She was happy it was gel polish, not wanting to wait for standard enamel to dry before applying another coat. 

“No, and yes.” Lucien answered in order. “He doesn’t know the content of what types of scenes I wanted with you, just that I did. He also has no idea how deep your feelings are, but I think a part of him senses it. He isn’t completely oblivious, only  mostly so.” Lucien chuckled and winked at Lia.

She laughed, it felt wrong but she laughed. “Well, he has a lot on his plate. It must be hard being whoever he is and doing whatever it is he does. I get the struggle, keeping your vanilla life and this life completely separate. It has to be harder when you have more of a life to deal with.”

Lucien regarded Lia for a long moment as she painted over his nails with another coat of color. “How much do you know about Darnok? His personal and professional life outside of this I mean?”

“Next to nothing. He is clearly rich and powerful. That much has been made clear multiple times. I try not to let it make me uncomfortable, but sometimes I feel I don’t know who he is at all, but then I know that I know the most private parts of him, so maybe I know him better than the other people in his life. It is hard to really say.”

“I see.” Lucien grew quiet for a moment. “So you have no idea, at all, who he is?”

This made Lia look at Lucien with narrowed suspicious eyes. “I know he is Darnok, that is what I know. What do you mean who he is?”

For the first time since Lia had met him, Lucien looked decidedly uncomfortable. It was strange, it looked wrong on him somehow and that made her nervous.

“He is Darnok, as you said.” Lucien cleared his throat and fought to tap his nails, not wanting to ruin her concentration.

“Ok, well, clearly you know more than me and I know if I ask you will either give me half truths or nothing. So is there a reason you brought it up?”

“Darnok is a dear friend, and who he is has been a problem in the past. You love him, despite not really knowing and that makes it even more beautiful to me. You truly do not care about his money, his power, any of it, do you?”

“No Lucien, I don’t. I care about him. I want him, and I don’t know if the problem here is me or him.”

“It’s him. It is always him. You are a blessing. A sweet mortal with a good and kind heart. Darnok, on the other hand, is emotionally constipated. You have a lot of work ahead of you if you want to pursue this.”

“I feel like this is more of a lecture than a conversation.”

“It wasn’t intended to be, but I can lecture you if that is what you are into?”

Lia laughed and shook her head, carefully painting the design on his nails. It wasn’t perfect, but she suspected he didn’t need it to be. 

“Maybe later, who knows, maybe I am into it.”

Lucien regarded Lia for a moment. “You are lovely and kind, if I asked for more than this, would you?”

“I guess it depends on what you actually want. There are lines I am not sure I am ready to cross and I am still learning my limits. I don’t know you as well as I know him, my own nerves could be a problem.”

“I can be gentle, when I choose to be and when it is desired.”

“I would hate to mess up your manicure.” Lia teased with a smile. 

“If it got messed up I would just have to have you do it again, but I understand. Not tonight?”

Looking thoughtful Lia considered their conversation. Darnok didn’t know what they were going to do, and had still handed her over. Lucien knew how Lia felt and wasn’t seeking an emotional connection. Perhaps this could work out for her and help her release some of that frustration.

“Ok, well I mean we do have this room for a while. What did you have in mind?”

Lucien’s eyes glowed. His smile brightened his face as he grasped her hands letting his thumbs brush over the backs of them. “Oh lovely little Lia. All I ask of you is simple.” Lucien paused letting go of her hands and standing up. 

Coming around the table he picked her up easily and carried her over to the bed on the other side of the room laying her down and looming over her. 

“Let me worship you.”

[paladin-lynx]

SquipJere Week 2020, Day 4: Mr. Roboto

@squipjerebmc’s SquipJere Week 2020 Day 4: Mr. Roboto

Ships Involved: The SQUIP x Jeremy Heere (Technical Difficulties/Squipemy/Squeremy/JereSquip/SquipJere)

Setting: Canonverse, set in the time interval between “Loser Geek Whatever” and “Halloween”.

Trigger/Content Warnings: None

Jeremy had never been one to ‘bask in the limelight,’ as they said. He wasn’t exactly content to stay on the sidelines for his entire life like Michael was, but he didn’t need to be the center of attention. It would just be kind of nice to be looked at by someone other than his best friend since kindergarten or bullies searching for a punching bag.

But he had to admit, after his first real hangout with the ‘cool kids’ had been a success, he felt like a movie star. All of the eyes on him as he’d mastered the dancing game at Dave & Buster’s had been somewhat overwhelming at first, but he’d quickly adjusted and it just felt good to be recognized, even if it was for something that he technically hadn’t achieved on his own. But even Rich, who without a doubt knew how Jeremy had danced like he was a professional to a song he didn’t even know that well on the highest difficulty on some obscure music game, had praised him and let him have his brief moment of fame.

But it was enough attention to satisfy him for a week or more and as keyed up as he was from all the interaction, it felt nice to be home. The entire scene kept replaying itself in his head – whether that was because of him or because it was the SQUIP’s silent way of saying ‘look how well you did,’ he wasn’t completely sure – and he had a bit of a skip in his step as he walked into the house. His father hadn’t even seemed to notice he was gone so there was no way he’d noticed that Jeremy had taken the car.

The rest of the Saturday passed without much fanfare, and soon enough it was Sunday. Sundays were usually Jeremy’s day to buckle down and get his homework done, and he usually didn’t look forward to it. When he didn’t want to get up from bed, the SQUIP lightly prodded at him until he did, teasing him for his bedhead and telling him that it was sure it would be a productive day.

Jeremy had never really liked doing homework. The one exception was when he was given books to read, although that heavily depended on the book. However, ever since getting the SQUIP, he hadn’t gotten much more enthusiastic about doing schoolwork but he found it much easier to focus. He knew for a fact that was because of the SQUIP’s influence – or at least, it had definitely started that way and now Jeremy wondered if maybe his focus was better because his mind had been properly trained.

And so after scarfing down a bowl of cereal – the SQUIP had been intent on him having three meals a day, something Jeremy hadn’t exactly been great about before considering he opted to skip breakfast ninety-five percent of the time – he settled in at his desk to start on the one subject that was the bane of his existence: math. Michael had always been the one who was better with numbers while Jeremy was better with words. Jeremy had been in the drama club when he was in elementary school and for part of middle school, although he never had any roles that were too notable, but it was enough to satisfy him. His adoration of Christine had only bolstered his love of theater. He’d even debated a few times over the course of his short life trying to write poetry or songs, but he’d never gotten into the right mindset for it. He doubted he’d be good at it, anyway.

But now he had the SQUIP which, as it had so proudly declared the first day he’d gotten it, was made of math. There were certain things the SQUIP would do for him, but homework wasn’t one of them. It would stand by as Jeremy worked, ready to assist, but it would never just give him the answers. It would walk him through the problems or prompts to make sure he understood how to find the solution, and of course because the SQUIP was in his brain, Jeremy would find himself understanding even if he had initially found himself lost as the SQUIP rattled off information.

And so he sat at his desk and got to work – normally he’d end up hunched over in his chair, but thanks yet again to the SQUIP that was no longer the case – furrowing his brow as he started on the various problems. The SQUIP was helping him raise his grades but he still had to put in the effort himself, because if he was suddenly a prodigy in every subject, there would definitely be some eyebrows raised in his direction. So he needed to do well, but not too well, kind of like how he hadn’t gotten a perfect score back at Dave & Buster’s. There was a balance to these things, wherein the SQUIP would step in and hold his hand to lead him down the right path until Jeremy learned well enough to see the way on his own.

Jeremy usually waited until he got through all the problems he could do on his own before he asked for help, almost like he was still a little kid going to ask his parents if they could assist him. Then again, the SQUIP would always be there as soon as he so much as thought that he might not be able to figure something out on his own. No embarrassing scurrying down to the kitchen necessary – although it was still a bit embarrassing to need help at all.

And to his pleasant surprise, he was actually getting through most of the assigned problems relatively quickly. Sure, there were a couple that had him scratching his head for a few minutes, but it just took a quick flip through his notes – those were getting neater and better organized, too – for him to come to a realization. He might actually be able to have some free time on this Sunday instead of spending the whole day besides meals and bathroom breaks sitting at his desk and working.

He was so absorbed in his work – what a rarity – that he almost missed that there was sound in the room other than the scratching of his pencil against his notebook. When he finally noticed it, he looked up with his brow creased, confused. It almost sounded like humming, but he was pretty sure that even if his dad sang in the shower, it wouldn’t reach all the way through the closed door.

That was when he turned to see the SQUIP standing on the other side of the room, back facing him. It had a few translucent blue screens floating around it, each displaying various numbers and data that Jeremy could never even hope to understand, and it was tapping its chin as it looked over everything. Jeremy knew that the visuals were just to fit his personal aesthetics and to give him something to look at as the SQUIP interacted with him so his brain wasn’t left utterly baffled, but he still couldn’t help feeling intrigued.

Especially when he realized that his SQUIP was, in fact, humming as it went about its business.

Of course, as soon as Jeremy realized, the sound stopped and the screens fizzled away as the SQUIP looked over its shoulder. “What? You should be doing your homework.”

“You were humming,” was all Jeremy managed to say, realizing after a heartbeat how stupid it sounded to state the obvious.

However, the SQUIP merely blinked at him, turning around to properly face him, arms crossing against its chest. “I was not.”

“Wh—You were!” Jeremy protested. “I heard it.”

“Perhaps you were humming to yourself as you worked?”

“No way, I don’t hum when I work. Especially not when I’m doing math.”

The SQUIP seemed to bite back a smile at that and instead huffed. “Everything I do in this physical manifestation, Jeremy, has a purpose. There would be no reason for me be humming at this moment, so therefore I was not humming.”

Jeremy’s eyebrows furrowed. “But you were. I heard you. I know my brain is fucked up, but it isn’t so bad that I’m imagining humming. I even know the song. It was ‘Mr. Roboto’ by, uh…erm…shit…”

“Styx,” the SQUIP interrupted, although it didn’t seem entirely pleased to be giving Jeremy evidence against its argument.

“Yeah, Styx! It played at one point in Dave & Buster’s yesterday. When Jake and Brooke were doing the basketball game thingy.”

The SQUIP scowled at him. “Jeremy, I wasn’t humming. That would be illogical. Why would I carry out such a pointless act?”

Jeremy blinked, before shrugging. “I dunno. For fun? You’re an A.I., after all, so you have things that you like to do even if you don’t need to do them…right?”

He remembered the SQUIP telling him just a few days ago that it was impossible for it to ever be at a loss. But the SQUIP right now looked just a bit baffled at Jeremy’s explanation. “I…suppose that might be true. Have I done anything else like that?”

Jeremy thought for a moment. “You looked like you were having fun yesterday when we were playing games with everyone. Maybe it was just you helping me, but I think you were getting something out of it, too. Maybe the happy chemicals in my brain were affecting you or something.”

The SQUIP snorted. “It doesn’t work that way, Jeremy. But…you may be onto something.” It tilted its head, and Jeremy wondered what exactly it was processing. But it spoke again just a few moments later: “It seems that I was, in fact, humming. It was just a…mindless action. I didn’t even seem to realize myself that I was doing it.”

“Well, you told me that with every interaction, you learn and evolve,” Jeremy replied. “So maybe because you’re poking around at me less, you’re starting to realize there are things that you like to do? And that song stuck with you from yesterday.” He smiled. “Kind of fitting, honestly.”

“I’m not a robot, Jeremy. I’m a supercomputer.”

“Oh, you know what I meant!”

The SQUIP chuckled softly, reaching up to push its hair back, even though Jeremy was pretty sure it was already perfectly in place as it always was. “…This is certainly an interesting development. I’ll have to look more into it.”

Jeremy frowned. “I know you’re all about numbers and results and stuff, but…can’t you just enjoy it and not try to dig in and find a reason behind it?”

The SQUIP raised an eyebrow and tipped its head to one side as it looked at him. “I’m programmed to delve into situations and analyze how they come to be and what results may come from them. That includes how my own code functions and grows.”

Jeremy sighed, shrugging and turning back to his desk. “You do you, I guess. Just…I dunno, I have time when I’m not working and you don’t have to worry about me. So you could find your own thing to do.”

The SQUIP appeared beside him, still looking thoughtful. “You do realize I’m in your head, right? I can’t exactly decide to meander off and go attend some crazy rave.”

Jeremy smiled sideways at him. “Maybe you can meet up with Rich’s SQUIP and have a wild party or something in cyberspace. Or you could sync with some of my game systems and run around in them. I think you secretly liked being a little hamster.”

“I did not,” it protested and Jeremy only grinned more when he felt indignant static trail down his spine. The SQUIP tutted at him and turned away. “…I’ll consider looking into doing activities that don’t align with my assignment to you. It could prove to be an interesting experiment.”

“Uh huh.”

Jeremy left it at that and got back to his homework, although he was pretty sure he wasn’t focusing quite as well as before. Was it really that strange that the SQUIP had been humming? It seemed to do a lot of things that were a bit more extra than necessary – such as that little kiss to the back of Jeremy’s hand just the day before, but Jeremy was trying not to linger on that too much because it made his stomach feel funny – but it had always explained it away as being for Jeremy’s sake. But Jeremy was starting to wonder if that was just the SQUIP trying to convince itself that everything it did had a reason behind it and that it wasn’t just doing something for the sake of doing it like a stupid human would. A SQUIP was built to learn so that it could improve itself, and it would only see something as harmless as humming a tune as it worked as a distraction or even a downgrade.

But after Jeremy had eaten dinner and returned to his room to move on to his history homework, he blinked up as he once again heard the unmistakable humming. He looked over to see the SQUIP sitting on his bed, its eyes closed and expression contemplative as it almost hesitantly hummed out the familiar notes of ‘Mr. Roboto,’ albeit slower than the actual song. But as the minutes passed, the sound got more confident and Jeremy swore he even saw a smile.

“You have a nice voice,” he complimented after a bit.

“Just because someone can carry a tune while humming doesn’t mean they can sing well, Jeremy,” was the reply he got.

But when Jeremy lay down to sleep that night, nestled under the covers, he could see the gentle tell-tale glow of the SQUIP as it sat down on the edge of the bed, just as it had that first night it had activated. It ran its fingers through Jeremy’s hair, slow and soothing, and Jeremy tipped his head slightly up into the touch as he felt himself start to drift off.

And right before he fell asleep, he thought he heard a quiet voice singing:

“Everything about you is going to be wonderful…”

[mbtiofwhys]

How Fe and Fi listen to music

Disclaimer: what you’ll find in this article is more a blogging coming from our personal experience than something strictly related to type theory. We found analogies that in some ways reflect the mutual differences between us mods, but please don’t read this as a way to generalize things or to say that this is what every Fi and Fe users feel or think. We want to share thoughts and prompts in our type blogging, so feel free to add something if you’d like!

INFJ mod

The first and most relevant truth about me and music is that, as a high Fe user, music can influence my feelings and heavily change my mood. But this may sound natural, right? Is it not common to listen to music as a way to delve into your feelings? Well, at least for me, high Fe enhances this, because it makes me susceptible to the emotional state of the environment, thus I’m receptive of the slightest changes in it. I can feel calm and relaxed, and then walk into a bar with a sad song on and suddenly feel gloomy. This happens to me a lot and that’s the main reason why I need to listen to specific songs in certain contexts. Otherwise I’ll feel something unwanted, and my Fe will kick in and just tell me: “well, that’s too much feelings to bare, right? Let’s just feel uneasy and overthink about future scenarios with our buddy Ni”.

Talking about contexts, my number one rule about music is: it must enhance my emotional state in a positive way. When I’m in a bad mood I tend to avoid music, because I’m in a frail emotional state and even a sad song may be too much for me. On the opposite, if I’m ok, music is a tool to feel better, and if I’m cheerful and relaxed it can even make me feel energized and galvanized, which are very pleasurable emotional states. Why? Because as an enneagram 6, this is not the rule, as overthinking is one of my best friends. I’m working on it, farewells to childhood friends are always heartbreaking, but we must say goodbye to each other. I’m in better company now - hi anxiety. (Just kidding. R-right?)

 As an activity deeply tied to my emotional state and able to change it, I need to listen to music when I’m in a specific mood. Like I stated above, this usually happens when I feel relaxed or cheerful. There are days when I take the train, pull out my smartphone and play my go-to playlist, while others when I just don’t feel like it because I’m too upset or melancholic and I avoid the emotional turmoil caused by music. Sometimes I listen to my “typical energizing songs” after dinner to refresh my tired body and mind. But don’t expect something like reggaeton, disco or electronic music. Not that I'm against those genres, but there are simply other songs that make me feel better and give me energy. I love (and i mean l-o-v-e) listening to videogames or anime ost. I know, I’m not your average INFJ who listens to sad songs and cries in a corner (not that I need music to cry in a corner, that’s it). Jazz, pop, sometimes rock and funky-ish music are what usually brings me out of my videogames and anime playlist and allows me to enjoy more traditional genres.

Music is also an inspiring tool. Although I’m not a professional writer, it’s a passion I have and something i’m still nurturing and learning, and I always need a certain song to fit a specific mood, scene or character. Those are exceptions to the rule, so I find pleasure in sorrowful songs. If I’m outlining an unpleasant scene or I’m planning a negative character, music must reflect the context and put me in that mood. In this way I can empathize with a character and feel and visualize the scene vividly. 

ENFP mod

To me, music is literally a soundtrack. I live with my earbuds on, and listen to music while travelling, working on projects and so on. For this very reason, I enjoy a very broad variety of genres and artists, and I literally have different kinds of music that match my mood or the situation I’m in. If I’m sad or upset, I need sad music. If I’m enduring something or I’m under stress, I need something powerful. If it’s the end of a trip, I go for bittersweet lyrics. This tends to vary based on the emotions I’m feeling, but generally speaking there’s no way, ever, that I will listen to a song that doesn’t match my mood or what I need in that moment. At best, my emotional state is “neutral” and thus I summon the supreme power of the shuffle button.

Despite what I wrote before, my approach to music is very casual - which is a polite way to say that I’m lazy. I’m not very curious, there are genres that I cannot listen to because I don’t like them. Since music is deeply intertwined with how I feel, you could say I almost need a reason to listen to something. More often than not the reason is that the sound is catchy or the lyrics are meaningful - but lately I discovered that with the right context or the right amount of pop mixed into it, I can literally appreciate anything. So, well, good job jrpg games for putting power epic metal, pop rap and jazz into my playlists. This variety is important because I (my Fi, I think) often physically need music to shut the noise out and reflect - or simply feel. Especially when I’m feeling bad, or angry, or sad, or disappointed, music is a way to live through those emotions and understand them better. This is why, to me, a cheerful idol song on a blue monday is literally like someone stepping by my side and shouting “everything will be fine!!”. Gosh, just let me be sad and dwell into my sadness, Karen.

Typically I listen to music while commuting, or generally while travelling - especially if alone, or by car. I listen and enjoy the view outside the window, or maybe I reflect on something and let my mind wander. I rarely turn the volume up while reading or writing or studying, but I don’t mind ost and instrumental pieces while revising or organizing notes. Generally speaking, I noticed that I tend to listen to music way more often when I’m not at home.

I’m studying in a creative field that has also ties with communication, so I’m learning how important music is from a narrative point of view. I used to draw years ago, and now I write in my free time. Music is fundamental in my creative process in two aspects: ideas, and mood. I literally brainstormed entire plots just from casually listening to a song, because the lyrics or the artists reminded me of something else. My Ne works with associations, and music is one of the best way to let my imagination free from restraints - not that this usually doesn’t happen anyway I guess. But at the same time songs are ideal for setting a specific mood, finding a leitmotif or generally finding inspiration.