#this probably isn't one of my best works
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tiresomeimagination · 2 years ago
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I’m learning Spanish right now so I’ve been thinking a lot about the wacky ways Saeyoung would probably try to help you improve your language skills. In this context, italicized dialogue means it’s being spoken in the target/foreign language! Also the small marked off section is supposed to imply it’s over the messenger. Anyways, this was just a short silly idea I had lolol.
~~~~~
"What'cha working on there?"
came the voice of your boyfriend as he peered over your shoulder to catch a peek at what you seemed so involved in studying at the table.
You chuckled as his fiery curls entered the edge of your vision and you felt him leaning against you. "I've just got to get through this next chapter," you explained, lifting your textbook and turning it so he could read the title. You were taking a foreign language class and it was already so much to remember.
His face lit up at the sight of the title, recognizing the language immediately. "Oh! I know that one! it's pretty easy once you practice it enough."
"Yeah... it's just tough to keep up with the practice I guess..." You groaned, rubbing your face tiredly.
He hummed in thought, absentmindedly resting his hand on your shoulder. "hmm... how about I give you a hand?"
"Uh... well, I guess it would help to drill some stuff with somebody. I'll have a test coming up soon and I'm not sure if I'm ready…" you admitted, assuming he was offering to go through flashcards with you or something.
He gave you a confident grin. "Oh don't worry! You'll be acing your tests in no time after we're done!"
If you had known what he really meant by this, you probably wouldn't have accepted his interference so readily. But it was too late. The gears were already turning and he knew exactly what he was going to do to help you.
You didn't notice the change right away. You got up the next morning and went through your usual routine. It wasn't until you opened the fridge and pulled out a drink that you spotted something so strange you had to do a double take. 
The label was in a different language.
"...What…??" You breathed out, your brain struggling to catch up to what was happening. You pulled out a different bottle from the fridge, eyes widening as you found its label had also changed languages.
After a few minutes of rummaging through the cabinets, you realized just about everything had been relabeled in your target language. Once you reassured yourself that you had not gone crazy in your sleep, you came to the conclusion that only one person could be responsible for pulling off something of this scale.
"Saeyoung!!" You called out.
It wasn't long before the culprit in question came strolling in at your call. "Yesss, my honey?" he greeted you casually, and it took you a moment to register that he was speaking your target language.
"Saeyoung, what in the world is going on??" You huffed.
"Immersion really is one of the best learning tools, Y/N. Trust me, I had to pick up a lot of languages on pretty short notice with the agency," he explained, shrugging.
You frowned, brows furrowing. "I understood next to none of that." You grumbled unhappily, hoping he would get the idea and go back to talking normally.
Instead he just laughed, ruffling your hair teasingly. "You'll get the hang of it!"
Oh you were going to kill him.
— — — —
[Jaehee] "I can't help but notice that Y/N has been speaking strangely in the messenger today."
[Yoosung] "I noticed that too! I wonder if their phone keyboard is broken."
[Y/N] "Help!! Saeyoung change me messenger. Language stuck!! No use good T-T"
[Jaehee] "...I'm sorry, Y/N. I can't understand what you're trying to say. There's something wrong with your copy of the messenger?"
[707] "Don't worry, they're fine lolol. They're just using a special version today."
[Y/N] "fix language set!! >:( no more help;;"
[707] "You're doing great, honey! ^^"
— — — —
You tossed your phone aside with an aggravated groan. Your entire version of the RFA messenger had been switched to your target language, but only on your end. Part of you couldn't help but admire the effort Saeyoung must have put into all of this…but that didn't change the fact that it wasn't exactly the kind of studying you had in mind.
"Aww, is my grumpy little kitty getting tired?" You heard Saeyoung coo from his place beside you on the couch as he wrapped an arm around you.
You just pouted at him, your brain too tired to try decoding all his words.
He chuckled at your expression, leaning in closer. "You did really good today. But of course I already knew my 606 was smart, hehe..." he breathed out softly, finally speaking normally again, much to your relief.
You couldn't stop the bashful smile that spread across your face at his gentle teasing and tender praise.
Your flustered look only spurred him on. He slid closer and leaned towards your ear, slipping effortlessly back into your target language and whispering, "There aren't enough languages in the world to tell you how you make me feel, you know. I love you, agent 606~"
You shivered slightly at the feeling of his breath, recognizing at least one particular phrase in that. Before you could form a coherent response, he brought his lips to yours in a gesture that needed no translation. Maybe his way wasn’t so bad after all if you got rewards like this.
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hisirdouxcasperan · 4 months ago
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“Ah, Man in Moon! Sandy, why didn't you say something?”
Bonus:
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blueskittlesart · 1 year ago
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cold fruit in a hot kitchen (so i had this great watermelon last weekend)
#so I had this great watermelon last weekend. and the thing is it probably wasn't even that great of a watermelon#but I was four hours into an eight hour shift and we had thrown out all the watermelon salad because no one was eating it#and then our manager ran in and yelled that the client really fucking wanted watermelon salad.#so like six of us servers started frantically chopping watermelon. and the kitchen got really hot#in the way it does when everyone inside it is really stressed because there's no fucking watermelon salad#and after we chopped all the watermelon and the client got their fucking watermelon we all had a moment#where we looked at the remaining watermelon and we were so hot and cocktail hour was almost over anyway and the salads were all plated#and we all went for the watermelon and we ate it with the kind of rabid intensity you only get while eating cold watermelon in a hot kitche#and it was the best watermelon I have ever tasted and several days later i am still chasing the high of that fucking watermelon#and the thing is i know it isn't even the watermelon i'm actually missing#it's the feeling of cool liquid on hot skin and the feeling of a crisis averted and the feeling of camaraderie#that comes with devouring a watermelon in a hot kitchen with six other people who you have nothing in common with except that watermelon.#i don't dream of labor but i am dreaming now of being 4 hours into an eight hour shift eating watermelon in a hot kitchen.#i dream of laughing around the cold fruit in my mouth. I crave that watermelon like i'll die without it.#< honest to god this is real and that watermelon left such an impact on me that i had to draw it and write this. having a normal one#maybe this is insane but working in a team of people you truly like to do something you actually enjoy is so underrated#if only they fucking paid me i could work as a server for the rest of my life. unironically#skribbles
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narcissusneverknewme · 4 months ago
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they wouldn't let me write the live action Disney adaptions because I would have had the best Ping you have ever seen. He and Shang would have had chemistry that took your breath away. They would be Yearning. the audience would be Yearning. it would be electric and terrifying and by marika would Mulan/Ping be hot. Shang is obsessed, the audience is obsessed. there would be hardly be a person in the attendance that doesn't Get where Shang is coming from. who wouldn't rend their clothes and scream to the heavens over Mulan/Ping. she takes no prisoners.
and yes, Shang kisses him in the snow as he cradles Ping's injured, dying body.
and yes, from the opening scene to the rolling credits he's going slowly mad.
and the first time you see Mulan she's dressed in the most feminine, floaty, light-colored dressy robes, with bone white makeup and painted lips and you fall in love with her. and there's something underneath, too. and it's so intriguing.
and then she shows up as Ping, and it takes a while to get used to, and it's kind of funny and awkward. but then it looks better and better to you. and soon you find you can hardly bear it when the camera turns away from him for even a second. and Ping isn't awkward to be around at all, he's stunning and brave and resilient and determined to be kind and you're desperately in love with him and you decide he looks incredible in the warriors' robes, actually. and his smile makes you want to kiss him. it makes Shang want to scream. and to kiss him.
and then comes the last leg. and she's got the gender-neutral robes, the "neutral" stage makeup. the loose updo. and you've never been as attracted to anyone in your life as Shang is to her. and you get it. you really, really get it. and wow the way the cuff of her sleeves and the silhouette of her robes make your heart clench. and the way her posture, her gait, make a new kind of sense. you can feel this is It. this is The Costume. you're obsessed and Shang is obsessed.
And then in the end, she's wearing pretty soft-colored robes and it makes you think for a moment that she looks like she did at the beginning. but then actually something makes her strength visible too. is it the cut of the costume? her posture? the framing of the shots? Yes it is. and you know, when Shang shows up, You know he can see it too. and he doesn't want to stop looking any more than you do. and he isn't going to even when you do.
every kid that ever watched my Mulan would recall it as Formative, like y'alls Danny Phantom but on the sickest steroids ever invented. She'd be irresistible. and so very gender.
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oifaaa · 1 year ago
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lying in the dirt thinking about how they made jason the impulsive brash bat when thats cass.
"the bat that punch first and asks questions later" thats cass thats casssssss
Cass' way of dealing with steph for a long while was just to knock her out and run off girl just does what she wants and I love her for it
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canisalbus · 1 year ago
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I'm sure you get loads of these but heck I said I'd give it a shot anyway!
Your artwork is so inspiring and beautiful. I recently graduated from art school with a degree in Animation Production but I've decided I'd love to be an illustrator some day. Your work really motivates me and gets my brain juice buzzin. Keep it up!!!
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paimonial-rage · 1 year ago
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what are they like in a relationship? For diluc
do you have headcanons about them? for xiao
[Character Analysis Ask Meme]
What is Diluc like in a relationship?
The day you found out his feelings, he didn’t approach the matter like most men in Mondstadt. He didn’t smile, nor did he meet your gaze. If you had to be honest with yourself, it seemed as if he wanted to be anywhere but here with you. Yet even with his stiff expression, he asked if you would meet him on the veranda privately. There, with the sun setting from behind and a slight dusting of red upon his cheeks, he then requested permission to court you. 
It doesn’t take you very long to notice how awkward he is in his courtship of you. Whenever you walk side by side, he always keeps a respectable distance. He does not reach for your hand, nor does he hold you close. Still, you can’t deny he’s earnest. Every meeting greets you with a bouquet of flowers. Every parting leaves you with a kiss upon your hand. 
It takes you a bit longer to see through his cold exterior. How his frowns when you speak are only in frustration due to not knowing how to respond in a way that’ll make you smile. How his eyes tend to follow you when he thinks you are not looking. How he turns away to hide his smiles when you do something that warms his heart. 
You come to the conclusion that even though he left his past behind him, he is a knight through and through. Never having been in a relationship before, he lets propriety dictate the way he acts toward you. It’s so incredibly stiff and awkward, you can’t deny that. And yet, when you look in his eyes, all you can feel is warmth. 
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Xiao Headcanons
Self-focused
Though many of the workers at the Wangshu Inn attempt to create a calming atmosphere for Xiao, there’s nothing he hates more than silence. Many people would not expect it with the young adeptus, introverted as he is. How would they know that the worst times of his life were spent struggling to survive on his own? And the best? When he closes his eyes, he can still hear them—the melodious voice of Sister Bonanus, the loud and rambunctious teasing of Brother Bosacius—his family. Sometimes, on the worst nights, he finds himself drawn to the edges of Liyue Harbor to let the sounds of life and living draw him to sleep.
Relationship-focused
Though you may have realized it before entering into a relationship with him, it only becomes even more noticeable after that Xiao isn’t one to express his needs. Oftentimes, it’s only until after he’s fully withdrawn himself that you realize something may have happened that caused him undue stress. It takes you time to realize that it’s not because he’s upset with you or that he doesn’t trust you; it’s simply that he does not wish to inconvenience you with his problems. It’ll take time and patience before he feels truly comfortable relying on you during his weakest moments.
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hirazuki · 21 days ago
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Me, episode 1: Oh, a relatable protag! And a relatable female protag, at that. Sweet! That never happens.
Me, a few episodes in: Wait, the protag really is going to be my character? The one I identify with the most? Seriously? It's not going to be a strange, at least somewhat sinister, seemingly hostile male side character? It's gonna be a female character and the protagonist? That's insane, that literally never happens... what's the catch??
Me, more than halfway through the season: ... huh, I guess Maomao really is it. Okay, then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Me to myself, after episodes 22/23:
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#i let my guard down#i should have known#like really i should know better by now lmao#that's probably the best depiction of prosopagnosia i've seen in fiction ngl#also luo//men's suggestion re: using other attributes to tell people apart??#A++ approach what a guy#mine isn't nearly as severe but i totally use footsteps/gait/mannerisms as my primary means of distinguishing people#the very few people i care about i can definitely recognize by facial features#and people i see frequently; though i do have trouble recognizing them if they appear in a context i'm not used to#like. if i were to see one of my sword classmates at my workplace for instance i would have trouble recognizing them#but anyone else? forget it#the most difficult part of working veterinary front desk was returning animals to their owners#bc even though i could have /just/ spoken with the owners like. ten minutes ago#i couldn't tell you which animal belonged to which owner#faces just don't register with me#dogs were easier in that i'd just let them lead me to their owners#but if it was a cat in a carrier i was fucked lmaooo#it's why if there was another receptionist working i'd let them handle any hand offs XDD#i don't remember most of my childhood but i have some very vivid impressions of moments like#my mother asking me to go give a cash tip to the hairdresser who did her hair and me being unable to pick who it was out#of everyone that was working even though i'd been there with them for two plus hours.#or like. taking the school bus home and being unable to recognize my bus monitor and so getting on the wrong bus#and also getting ridiculed about this by my parents lol. ah good times.#on the other hand i can easily recognize a dog i've met once or twice even years later. and remember their name.#i think it all mostly comes down to disinterest for me. i've tried to change this but it's just how i am#so. he's very relatable. painfully so#also the pragmatism and rationality and hyperfixating on things.#i've never hyperfixated on another person tho and i am so grateful for that every single day#i know in my bones it would be an absolute disaster XD#withoutwords
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bisexualbuckl-y · 6 months ago
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i can't stop thinking about buck's future reaction to this new eddie storyline in like a best friend way, because i don't know how aware buck is of how much eddie is struggling with his mental health lol, like how long ago was the last time they spoke about shannon in relation to eddie? does buck think eddie is over her death? or maybe not over but at least he's come to terms with it? i feel like we'll see eddie trying to hide this thing with kim and buck will surely know something's going on but i don't think he'll ever imagine something close to what's happening, and then aside from the lying and bad feelings surrounding the situation he'll also feel awful because he just didn't know how this was still an issue eddie was having... yk?
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burning-academia-if · 8 months ago
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Hey, this isn’t related to the story but I was curious how you got started with twine? Your story inspired me and I want to learn the program so I can make my own. I wanted to see if you had any advice or reference points. Perfectly fine if not, much love regardless!
I've messed with Twine on and off for a while now, so I'm not sure when I actually got into it? It was probably when I originally got into IFs back in like 2015 lol
I use Twine Sugarcube specifically, and I pretty much just watched/read through these:
Twine or Treat: a youtube playlist where a guy shows you how to make a game. Focuses more on making an exploration/puzzle game in Twine, but still has some useful/relevant info
Introduction to Twine: another video playlist, although again, I really only watched what I needed
The Twine Grimoire: there's 3, with each one going through more complicated concepts each volume, includes Harlowe as well as Sugarcube
Sugarcube (and Harlowe) also have their own documentation, but it's so Long and Daunting that I honestly just ignored it when I first started LOL. It's obviously useful to have and reference, but I always need to watch people doing the thing first. I really struggle with just reading through things personally. I'm comfortable enough with Twine now that it isn't overwhelming though lol
Also I'd argue you really only need to learn how to set variables to get started with IFs. Once you know how passages work and how variables work, you're almost set to make an IF.
I'd also recommend learning the very basics HTML and CSS just in case. There's plenty of Twine templates available for free on itch.io, but if you want to adjust them in any way, it's helpful to know CSS/HTML. Also just have fun and mess around! From visual novels to this IF, my learning process has honestly just been 'fuck around and find out' and it's been useful so far! I also think it helps with the inherent anxiety of trying something new too
But yeah, hopefully some of this is helpful/useful to you!
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elvisqueso · 10 months ago
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I am on some bullshit right now, bruh
#just re-watched pocahontas for the first time in many many years and dawg#the character animation in that film is so gorgeous#like they went so hard on ACTING through the animation#im getting obsessed again like i was when i was little#like u gotta understand: the disney pocahontas character (a truly fictional character inspired by real events let's get that straight)#i was like in love with her. i wanted to be her like oh my god#and the way they animated john smith was such a departure from their other disney LI's up til then (as *i* recall)#so detailed!! the expressions!!! the fucking YEARNING!!!!!!#best love story out of all the disney flicks imho. as a Story it's so powerful#I'm gonna think about the symbolism of them having to part#after grandmother willow had told them 'only when the fighting stops can you be together'#implying that the fighting isn't over and probably never will be#fuxking painfuslfjk#i know i know: c'est ~~problématique~~#but look. I'm from a racially diverse family okay?#my dad's side especially. nobody over there stuck to their own race/ethnic group#my parents are a mixed couple. i know how hard it is to make that work.#most interracial couples I'd seen on tv until that point were very...chaste?#mostly played for laughs (oh haha the cultural dissonance is so cute and funny!) or worse: to play up racial sterotypes#but to see one depicted as a straight-forward romance- as two people deeply in love and not played for a gag? AND as the core of the story?#mannnn that means a lot to me even all these years later#so yeah im deep in the 'hunting down feel-good fix-it fics' phase wish me luck
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sluttyten · 6 months ago
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yall I want TDS3 tickets so badly 😭 but I don't know who to even go with and I'm not going by myself.... but I'm also seriously thinking I'm just gonna go ahead and try to get tickets on friday anyway
#last year i went with my mom and she enjoyed it#but im not entirely sure she wants to go again#and then my best friend doesn't like kpop at all lmao#but I don't know i might be able to get her to go w me but#i dont know how she'll feel about the traveling in chicago by ourselves thing#bc when we last went there together for a concert we were with her ex and he did the driving#so my last option is my brother lol because i asked the other day if he wants to go to chicago#and he did say yes so i told him attendance at the concert is mandatory#kpop is also absolutely not his genre of music#even though he listens to a little bit of a lot of stuff like country and pop and broadway musicals#like dude you'd love the theatrics of kpop and the gaybaiting they do? thats something he might like#and then one of my choices was my moms best friend bc she said after she saw my moms videos of tds2#that she wanted to go see a kpop concert because she loves showmanship so she saw the eras tour and#fell in love so i think she would like kpop. she loved the wrist light things TS did so lightsticks are definitely#something she'd enjoy and the choreography#i really think it's just the language barrier that's preventing my brother and best friend from wanting to go#and the language barrier that keeps my mom and her best friend from probably enjoying the music as much#because my mom loved one direction so a kpop boyband isn't too far off from that#oh also i think my friend will tell me no because i've already turned her down for plans like a week or two before that#because i won't have PTO to use at work because i'll have just gotten back from a vacay that uses i all#and then i'm gonna turn around and take 2 days off for a concert (travel time sucks)
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brudiza-spudnik · 5 months ago
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MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE IS TECHNICAL PROBLEMS. LSDJ DOESN'T WORK. FL STUDIO DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. SAMPLING IN REAPER IS USELESS BECAUSE DRAG AND DROP DOESN'T WORK. TRYING TO WATCH A TUTORIAL AND YOUTUBE IS OUTDATED ON MY SHITTY OLD ANDROID TABLET. WILL LIKELY NEVER GET YOUTUBE TO WORK AGAIN ON THIS THING IF IT'S OUTDATED NOW. GAMING IS BULLSHIT BECAUSE EVERY SINGLE GAME REQUIRES TWEAKING THAT I DONT WANT TO FUCKING DO. ALL MY SYNTHS AND SHIT ARE CRASHING. I JUST WANT TO MAKE MUSIC ON MY FUCKING PHONE IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK. JESUS CHRIST
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irregularbillcipher · 9 months ago
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watched the musical demon show (don't wanna name it so this post isn't in the tags) at the behest of an IRL friend and i can already tell this is going to be a piece of media where i absolutely cannot stop thinking about it, not because i really love the show as-is, but because it has so many individual components i really like and find incredibly fun or compelling, and i'm so frustrated that it doesn't come together for me
i think the main thing i can say about it as a show, setting aside some of the insensitive choices that were made that i really don't feel qualified to tackle or talk about, is that the entire thing sort of gives off this vibe of someone really excited to show you every single oc they made in high school and college and i very genuinely mean that in both the best and worst ways possible
there are some good hooks for season two though so i will absolutely give them that
#the vibe is just like... they are just soooo excited to get all their ideas out that it becomes... messy and badly paced#like there are so many moments that are cool or fun or emotional in a vaccuum but they don't connect fully y'know#because this arc or character was JUST introduced so there isn't proper build up. everything moves too quick#and it's frustrating because you can TELL that the people making this show love their ideas and characters#and i more than get thta! i am also someone with a lotta ocs i love to blab about#but i think they have been working with them so long that they#a. assume we are already just as attached to them as they are without always doing that work#b. assume we've seen all the supplemental material which. i have not#and i don't think that a professional show is the type of thing where there should be a barrier of entry that involves like#podcasts and comics and twitter threads and IC instagram posts about characters to do that emotional/lore legwork y'know#i love lore and supplemental stuff obviously but this should still be like#a satisfying experience for me a person who saw the pilot however many years ago and then has not interacted with the show or fandom since#idk man stuff felt rushed and messy and i wish i liked it more#it needed more slow moments i think. the two scenes where the group all drinks together (minus one awful joke in the bar scene) are like#the best in the show to me becase i actually believe these guys are FRIENDS. i wanna see them hang out more!#i wanna see them actually really grow to like each other organically!!! i wanna see them build connections and grow better slowly!!!#songs absolutely slap though. soundtrack is probably gonna be in my spotify unwrapped 2024#i love me a musical and that inspiration is on its sleeve which i love#also imo the humor isn't great usually. it's very juvenile imo and sometime that works but it often doesn't#(for me at least humor is obviously SUPER subjective)#also tonally they have this 'have your cake and eat it too' issue which bugs me. it's exemplified by the v's (one in particular)#actually i could go on a whole rant about the v's if anyone is interested because god i have some Thoughts#and i think my issues with the v's (namely one v) encapsulates many issues i have with the show#despite all this rambling i actually did enjoy a lot of my time with it. i just don't think it was well-written if that makes sense
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procrastinatorproject · 8 months ago
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New game: Share your three best fanworks. No thinking, just the three that instinctively occur to you. Then copy-paste this ask to anonymously share with as many people as you want.
Okay. A) I love this! Thank you so much, nonnie, for a brilliant idea!
B) Whoof. That's tough 😅
Without thinking:
My very first fic. It is finished, it has pacing, it has an arc, it has an actual story... The prose might need a bit of polishing, but I think it's still some of my best work!
My most artistic fic:
I just... I don't know. I feel like it's very personal and almost has something lyrical about it and I feel very deeply about it, even if it is perhaps a little pretentious.
The third one is hard, though...
I'm very torn between something like A Night at the Opera, which I'm still extremely proud of, In the Palm of his Hand, which I love and hope to finish one day, and even The Cake is a Lie. Though the last two are probably not nearly as good in their current published form as they are in my WIPs, where I have additional material that really adds A Lot to them 😅
But I feel like I also want to put one of my metas here, because I have a bunch of those and they're important to me and feel like they're out of contention for this sort of thing. So here's my probably favourite bit of meta writing:
I love Rios and Agnes! And I find their budding relationship fascinating and gentle and lovely and want to think about it more. And this was such a great way to look at their interactions and psychology, and to explain why I think they make sense together.
(Also: it always reminds me of the incredible "Your Light on Me" by @regionalpancake and the gorgeous Love Comes Softly by @smhalltheurlsaretaken, which is essentially the same argument but as an amazing fic (and gorgeous podfic by @thelaithlyworm). And these kinds of connections always make everything better 🥰)
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daz4i · 1 month ago
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i literally can't think about life or the future for more than a few seconds without getting so distressed that i shut down. surely this is a good sign for things to come
#true about any aspect of those. personal life. local politics. world disasters etc#i can't focus on one and approach it first bc even that's already too much for me#i was genuinely truly literally not made to be alive. i am not built for this. i shouldn't have survived this long#i feel like an error in the book of fate. like i accidentally dodged the grim reaper for too long#there is too much of me inside my brain. if that makes sense. i am long overdue. etc etc#what is that even called is it still depression at this point 😭😭😭 it's like a whole new thing fr#seriously tho how the fuck does one even get over it. being in a state of mind like that means no therapist would even try working with me#(bc well if i don't think i should be alive how am i supposed to work to get better. esp when i don't see any reason to)#(kinda like a festering wound in a body part that should've been cut off ages ago)#everything feels pointless bc of how shitty the future will be no matter what. like there is truly no hope at all#this isn't pessimism it's just facts. there is no good ending here no matter what. unless you overhaul reality completely#vent#:/ i should probably try to sleep but i'm doing really bad#idk if i'll have nightmares or just a very sad dream like i had last night. i don't seem to have much else going on there in my brain#negative //#sorryyyyyy#i'd ask for help but idk what help to even ask for. what anyone could even offer. like there is no solution or a way to forget it#best i can do is distract myself all the time but that's really hard to do when a lot of what i have going on makes me feel bad too#. rambling in nonsensical ways atp sorry. brain is being mean and stupid
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