#this post ran away from me somewhat rip

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Hello I love your blog!

That being said woud really like to read your take on Harry's relationship with death and grief

And wich death do you think that impacted him the most

Thank you so much! I'm glad you love my blog!

I will warn this post mentions some suicidal ideation, mentions of self-harm, and a lot of Harry's grief methods and coping mechanisms, so be aware.

Now, Harry has a lot of grief in his life, and each death is one he reacts to differently, not only because of who dies but because his grief accumulates. So with every death, Harry is pushed closer and closer to his threshold. You kinda see this threshold in Deathly Hallows:

He could not draw breath. He could not bear to look at any of the other bodies, to see who else had died for him. He could not bear to join the Weasleys, could not look into their eyes, when if he had given himself up in the first place, Fred might never have died. . . He turned away and ran up the marble staircase. Lupin, Tonks. . . He yearned not to feel. . . He wished he could rip out his heart, his innards, everything that was screaming inside him. . .

[...]

The images of Fred, Lupin, and Tonks lying dead in the Great Hall forced their way back into his mind’s eye, and for a moment he could hardly breathe: Death was impatient. . . .

(DH)

Harry saw Fred die, and he was sure that was it. After Sirius, Dumbledore, Hedwig, Dobby, and even Snape, no one else should be able to die, and then he sees Lupin and Tonks are dead and his mind doesn't even know how he's supposed to handle all this grief. He actually can't process it at the moment. He feels so much pain and guilt because Harry blames himself for each and everyone that died. Even though they were adults who chose to fight on their own, he didn't force them, but he feels responsible for their deaths.

Even for his parents' deaths as I mention later. This is really a theme with Harry's grief — he always blames himself. If he just called Sirius in the mirror, if he just knew Occlumancy, if he just drunk the potion instead of Dumbledore. At points, Harry actually wishes he was dead instead of having to carry all his grief and pain:

And tears came before he could stop them, boiling hot then instantly freezing on his face, and what was the point in wiping them off or pretending? He let them fall, his lips pressed hard together, looking down at the thick snow hiding from his eyes the place where the last of Lily and James lay, bones now, surely, or dust, not knowing or caring that their living son stood so near, his heart still beating, alive because of their sacrifice and close to wishing, at this moment, that he was sleeping under the snow with them.

(DH) - is it just me who feels like crying every time I read this quote?

Obviously, his parents' deaths affected how his life went more than any other death, but Harry never knew them. He never really grieved them growing up. He grieved the childhood he could've had. That above scene in Godric's Hallow is the first time Harry truly grieves for James and Lily themselves, not just as a family he could've had.

Cedric's death was the first Harry had to watch, and it was mixed in with a lot of other trauma. So, Harry doesn't really grieve Cedric, not really. He is sad he had to die, but Harry mostly grieves himself. He doesn't want to think about the graveyard and the nightmares. He comes off as somewhat numb to Cedric's death because they weren't all that close and Harry is suffering and has no idea how to process any of it, so he pushes all of it aside because there are other things more important.

Sirius, I think, is the death that hit him hardest. I mentioned how Harry's behavior changes after Sirius dies. Sirius was one of Harry's only support lines, and then he was gone. Harry's reaction to his death is the worst too.

He tries and somewhat succeeds in casting a crucio on Bellatrix. He has his outburst in Dumbledore's office that makes me want to throttle Dumbledore and hug Harry whenever I read it:

“Harry, suffering like this proves you are still a man! This pain is part of being human —” “THEN — I — DON’T — WANT — TO — BE — HUMAN!” Harry roared, and he seized one of the delicate silver instruments from the spindle-legged table beside him and flung it across the room. It shattered into a hundred tiny pieces against the wall.

[...]

“I DON’T CARE!” Harry yelled at them, snatching up a lunascope and throwing it into the fireplace. “I’VE HAD ENOUGH, I’VE SEEN ENOUGH, I WANT OUT, I WANT IT TO END, I DON’T CARE ANYMORE —”

(OotP)

After that, we see this grief in Harry's behavior. He becomes more reckless, more mouthy. In the first books, Harry does a lot to try and avoid unnecessary danger. From the end of book 5, Harry just doesn't care about himself as much.

Sirius is a character Harry grieves. He mentions Sirius constantly in the early chapters of book 6 and I think we see him grieving Sirius all throughout the final few books as more deaths just mount on top of his guilty consciousness as Harry keeps blaming himself:

And Harry saw very clearly as he sat there under the hot sun how people who cared about him had stood in front of him one by one, his mother, his father, his godfather, and finally Dumbledore, all determined to protect him; but now that was over. He could not let anybody else stand between him and Voldemort; he must abandon forever the illusion he ought to have lost at the age of one, that the shelter of a parent’s arms meant that nothing could hurt him. There was no waking from his nightmare, no comforting whisper in the dark that he was safe really, that it was all in his imagination; the last and greatest of his protectors had died, and he was more alone than he had ever been before.

(HBP)

Dumbledore is a weird one. Harry grieves Dumbledore for both what he was and what he wasn't rather than the man himself. Harry grieves not actually knowing Dumbledore and Dumbledore's perceived betrayal throughout the majority of book 7:

But he shook his head. Some inner certainty had crashed down inside him; it was exactly as he had felt after Ron left. He had trusted Dumbledore, believed him the embodiment of goodness and wisdom. All was ashes: How much more could he lose?

(DH)

He mourns losing the trust he had in Dumbledore, not just the man himself. He mourns no knowing if Dumbledore really cared for him. He mourns not actually knowing Dumbledore and he mourns the loss of the one man Harry trusted would save him — his last and greatest protector.

Unlike Sirius, Dumbledore is a person Harry has a more complicated relationship with, so his grief for him is similarly more complicated. Where he thinks of Dumbledore the idea and Dumbledore the man as very different things and he isn't sure which one of them was more honest. And he mourns not knowing.

All of this is mixed up with his helplessness in book 7 and wishing Dumbledore had told him more to prepare him. All these frustrations affect the way he grieves. And, as we see, book 7 is Harry at his most reckless — because when Harry's in emotional pain, he throws himself into danger.

Harry's grief at Dobby's death is one that really stuck with me when reading DH, specifically this scene:

“I want to do it properly,” were the first words of which Harry was fully conscious of speaking. “Not by magic. Have you got a spade?” And shortly afterward he had set to work, alone, digging the grave in the place that Bill had shown him at the end of the garden, between bushes. He dug with a kind of fury, relishing the manual work, glorying in the non-magic of it, for every drop of his sweat and every blister felt like a gift to the elf who had saved their lives. His scar burned, but he was master of the pain, he felt it, yet was apart from it. He had learned control at last, learned to shut his mind to Voldemort, the very thing Dumbledore had wanted him to learn from Snape. Just as Voldemort had not been able to possess Harry while Harry was consumed with grief for Sirius, so his thoughts could not penetrate Harry now while he mourned Dobby. Grief, it seemed, drove Voldemort out. . . though Dumbledore, of course, would have said that it was love.

(DH)

Harry is right in saying grief drove out Voldemort more than love. Harry's magic is very intuned with his emotions and pushes Voldemort out on instinct. I believe this is a type of Occlumancy.

See, Occlumancy requires a clear and focused mind, Harry, not knowing how to process grief, turns to manual labor that causes him pain. There is the pain from his blisters, pain from his muscles, pain from his scar — and he relishes in that pain because it makes him feel numb. It clears his head and allows him to actually practice Occlumancy.

This is a kind of self-harm. Not a super obvious act of self-harm, but it is a kind of self-harm. Working himself to the point of pain and exhaustion so he won't feel it all anymore. Just like he shouted at Dumbledore at the end of book 5. We actually see Harry in this almost numb state in book 7 quite a bit.

His recklessness is a form of self-harm too, in a way.

As he followed Bill back to the others a wry thought came to him, born no doubt of the wine he had drunk. He seemed set on course to become just as reckless a godfather to Teddy Lupin as Sirius Black had been to him.

(DH)

As I mentioned a grieving Harry is much more dangerous to himself than a happy Harry. He's angrier, more reckless, and more prone to outbursts. He relishes in his own pain and danger in a way he hasn't before. Add that to his PTSD from everything else, and... god, I feel so bad for my boy...

Then we have all the deaths in the Battle of Hogwarts, of which Fred affected him most I think. But by that point, Harry is half numb.

The world had ended, so why had the battle not ceased, the castle fallen silent in horror, and every combatant laid down their arms? Harry’s mind was in free fall, spinning out of control, unable to grasp the impossibility, because Fred Weasley could not be dead, the evidence of all his senses must be lying—

(DH)

They're in the middle of the battle and immediately after this paragraph, Harry shouts at everyone to get down and away as more curses start flying and the Acrumentulas come in. He pushes everyone to act and to move because Harry has become so accustomed to grief and pain that by this point it's second nature to him to be in a state of pain:

Why was it so easy? Because his scar had been burning for hours, yearning to show him Voldemort’s thoughts? He closed his eyes on her command, and at once, the screams and bangs and all the discordant sounds of the battle were drowned until they became distant, as though he stood far, far away from them. . . .

(DH)

I mentioned in the past that all mind arts require a focused and clear mind. This state of numbness from grief Harry pushes himself into is what allows him such good control over his connection with Voldemort and when and what he sees from it.

Harry only lets himself start to grieve Fred when he sees his body again in the hall. And he doesn't want to grieve or feel, so he runs to Dumbledore's office to view Snape's memories. At that point, towards his own death, Harry's in the mindset where he's willing to do anything to not feel the pain and grief and guilt anymore, so much so that when Dumbledore asks him to die, Harry does:

And while that fragment of soul, unmissed by Voldemort, remains attached to and protected by Harry, Lord Voldemort cannot die.” Harry seemed to be watching the two men from one end of a long tunnel, they were so far away from him, their voices echoing strangely in his ears.

[...]

His job was to walk calmly into Death’s welcoming arms. Along the way, he was to dispose of Voldemort’s remaining links to life, so that when at last he flung himself across Voldemort’s path, and did not raise a wand to defend himself, the end would be clean, and the job that ought to have been done in Godric’s Hollow would be finished: Neither would live, neither could survive.

[...]

Terror washed over him as he lay on the floor, with that funeral drum pounding inside him. Would it hurt to die? All those times he had thought that it was about to happen and escaped, he had never really thought of the thing itself: His will to live had always been so much stronger than his fear of death. Yet it did not occur to him now to try to escape, to outrun Voldemort. It was over, he knew it, and all that was left was the thing itself: dying.

[...]

Dumbledore’s betrayal was almost nothing. Of course there had been a bigger plan; Harry had simply been too foolish to see it, he realized that now. He had never questioned that his own assumption: that Dumbledore wanted him alive. Now h saw that his life span had always been determined by how long it took to eliminate all the Horcruxes. Dumbledore had passed the job of destroying them to him, and obediently he had continued to chip away at the bonds tying not only Voldemort, but himself, to life! How neat, how elegant, not to waste any more lives, but to give the dangerous task to the boy who had already been marked for slaughter, and whose death would not me a calamity, but another blow against Voldemort.

(DH)

Not for a moment does Harry consider not dying. He mentions he wants to shout out, and wants someone to care enough to stop him:

He wanted to shout out to the night, he wanted Ginny to know that he was there, he wanted her to know where he was going. He wanted to be stopped, to be dragged back, to be sent back home. . . .

(DH)

But he doesn't shout out, because the only home he ever had was for a year at Godric's Hallow, and that home was six feet under, where Harry knows he should be.

Just, all of Harry's thoughts as he walks towards his death, to me feel like a reaction to grief. He heard Dumbledore's plan when he reached his threshold of pain and grief. It's why he doesn't consider another option if there's another way. He doesn't want there to be another way. He wants to live, but he also wants it to be over.

And in death, Harry considers staying:

Harry nodded and sighed. Leaving this place would not be nearly as hard as walking into the forest had been, but it was warm and light and peaceful here, and he knew that he was heading back to pain and the fear of more loss.

(DH)

Staying where it's warm and peaceful and there's no pain. But he chooses to return, he chooses to live, and I think that is such an important moment for his character and his journey with grief. It's the moment he accepts life is pain and decides he wants to live anyway.

[ilovetheriddler]

Requesting a Bigby Wolf + fem reader in the corn maze smut for your Halloween fic post pretty pls 🫶✨

This is my first time writing a bigby fic! Yay! I hope that you enjoy it!

Halloween Fic Event.

Howling in the Corn Maze.

(Bigby Wolf x F!Reader.)

Contents: NSFW 18+ 🔞🔞🔞 rough sex, neck biting.

Bigby took a deep inhale from his cigarette as he watched you as you attempted to find a way out of the corn maze that you insisted that you go to. You thought it would be fun... it was not fun, and now you were both kind of lost.

"So... do you still think this was a good idea, sweetheart?"

"...No, but how was I supposed to know that the stupid maze was going to be so confusing?!"

It was already getting late, and there seemed to be no end in sight, just rows and rows of endless corn! As you glanced up at the sky, you noticed the moon had started to rise for the evening. It was a full moon, and suddenly you felt a little... concerned. You had never really asked your boyfriend how much the full moon affected him, if it did at all, and you found yourself hoping that it didn't.

"Hey, um... Bigby?"

"Hmm?"

"... How much... does the full moon affect you exactly...?"

He paused for a moment, thinking about it for a bit before letting out a sigh.

"I'm going to be entirely honest with you, sweetheart, certain... urges usually get a lot stronger.."

"Certain urges? Like what?"

".....I'm going to be blunt. What i mean is my sex drive increases considerably... and well... I'm a bit worried about you being near me like that because I don't want to be too rough on you..."

"Oh....."

You felt your face get incredibly flustered at his words. Yes, you'd had sex with Bigby several times before. You'd been dating for a few months now, after all, but this did make him always refusing to let you stay at his apartment during previous full moons make a lot more sense.... but you'd be lying if you said that you weren't interested in seeing how he was when he was worked up like that...

"Um, well.... I'm not really worried about that... i mean, how rough could you possibly be?"

".....Darling, that's an incredibly dangerous thing to say to me while I'm like this...."

Something about his tone of voice in that moment nearly made your heart stop, damn... maybe being near him during a full moon wouldn't be so bad? You watched as the sunlight finally fully faded, being replaced by the light of the full moon. You jolted slightly as you heard a deep and low growling sound coming from behind you. You didn't even have a chance to turn and look at him before you were being pinned to the ground.

You were a bit startled at first. You didn't mind bigby being a bit more forceful and rough with you. It just simply caught you by surprise. You let out a somewhat embarrassed squeal as the sound of ripping fabric reached your ears, both your dress and underwear being torn off faster than you thought possible.

He moved you slightly, pushing you to rest on your hands and knees facing away from him. He ran his hand down your back, his now decently sharper claws almost drawing blood as you winced. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, his teeth leaving harsh and slightly painful hickeys in their wake.

You hadn't even realized that he had undone his pants until he without warning thrusted his cock inside of you, causing a mixture between an embarrassingly loud whine and moan to leave your lips.

"Does that feel good, sweetheart? Do you like being stuffed full of me?"

You could only manage a nod as he continued to thrust into you relentlessly with a rough and uneven pace, sinking his claws into your hips as he held you in place.

You were incredibly overwhelmed in both a mixture of slight pain and a lot of pleasure to the point where you were a bit worried you might pass out. In all honesty you couldn't really complain about the idea of being fucked by a Wolfman in a corn maze all night long.

[akindaflora]

CHAPTER TWO

Pairing: Chan (Non Idol) x Female Reader

Warning: Chan does check out Y/N and hes a tad bit touch starved after living with only men for the past few months. A bit of cursing. Talking of murder if you considerate it that in these type of scenario. A unnerving obsession of others is mention (Not Chan's). And as usually angst, a little gore and some blood.

AN: Once again I am so sorry for the delay I've been busy preparing for next week and I'm sorry I can't keep up to much of a schedule but I try my best but please do enjoy this chapter. Keep and eye out for this Saturday for a short scenario and as mentioned in the after writing notes I will be taking a week of from posting as next week is going to be extremely busy for me.

WORD COUNT: 5.4 K

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter / Series Masterlist

When Chan woke up, he immediately jumped at the strange surroundings. But as soon as he did, he felt a sharp pain. Groaning, he looked quickly to his stomach. At the sight of his bandage, he paled. The what-ifs ran through his head. He immediately ripped it away, hissing at the pain but sighing in relief at it only being a cut—a somewhat deep cut that had been stitched with care and now was leaking a bit of blood from the gruffness of his panic.

He was wearing a different shirt than he remembered putting on. It was a random shirt you get whenever you go to a new place the words 'Get beach with Sydney' were written. He only groaned at the irony. Taking in his surroundings he noticed a black dog staring at him from the foot of the bed. The dog rushed out of sight of the opened door.

Looking around he noticed he was in a bedroom scattered with pink toys and stuffed animals that stared him down. He only shuttered at the weirdness, before slowly getting up from the bed. The blood rushing to his head he leaned on the wall for balance. Slightly kicking the toys out of his way not having the energy to really step over anything.

“You up,” said a voice and he nearly fell from the height of his jump. Looking in shock he saw a woman leaning on the door. She looked healthy for someone in an apocalypse but the riddle with small scars that had healed over. She only wore pajama pants that were slightly too big and a shirt that nearly engulfed her. Annoyance covered her face at the lack of Chan's response. Arms crossed she only shook her head at the peaks of blood on his shirt. If the circumstances were different he probably would have flirted with her but with the painful reminder of his cut, he only clutched the painful spot before grabbing his head at the fast movement.

She slowly walked over to him and brought him back into the brightly pink bed. Chan tried to put up a fight but only hissed when he moved the wrong way holding his head slightly. “Pabo” she muttered quietly under her mouth.

After putting him down on the bed she lifted his shirt, Chan immediately trying to push the stranger away.

“Don’t touch me” he said quietly. She stilled at the sound of his voice and pulled her hands away in mock surrender.

“Look I get it, I don’t know you, you don’t know me. But I didn’t want to bring you here Holmes did,” She simply said crossing her arms and nodding her head at the dog who wandered over. His tail wagged with excitement, Chan only smirked at the woman for talking to the dog as if he had a say in anything. As if he were in charge of the whole operation. But as he thought of being in charge his memory slowly came back. He was in charge of an operation, his group where are they? He thought. The thought sending his desire to jump up even more she put her hands on his shoulders to stop him from his sudden movement.

“Hey stop, I don’t know where you're rushing to but if it’s to that Felix guy he’s gone,” is all she said.

His eyebrow raised in question, “What happened? Did you hurt them?” he said feeling the familiar sense of rage coasting through his body. She pulled back at his anger. Holmes growled slightly at the change of atmosphere. The dog's lips quivered to show his teeth as he began to hold his position to bite Chan but stopped at the softness of Y/N's hand.

“It’s okay Holmes, he's just confused,” she said patting the dog's head to calm him down.

“Look it’s just me and Holmes, there’s no way I could hurt them especially if they’re built like you,” she said simply looking away in slight embarrassment at mentioning his build.

She cleared her throat. “We found you in the bathroom of a grocery store,” she said now picking at the fuzzy that littered her pants.

“They left a note saying they’d come back. I had fully planned to leave you there but Holmes refused to leave unless you were coming. You’ve been out for four days. I honestly thought you would kick the bucket but surprisingly you pulled through,” she said holding her head and leaning her elbow against her leg. Looking into the distance she brought her eyes back to his. “You were bleeding a lot so I stitched you up, You're lucky I took an emergency safety course or you’d be dead of blood loss,” she said getting up now, moving to a medical box as she pulled out various things.

Turning around with gaze and rubbing alcohol, “Now will you let me help you or are you up for bleeding out in my house,” she said simply. Chan only nodded still processing everything she said.

The grocery store, he remembered his group had run out of rations in the town where they usually go do runs not wanting to lack anything they went to the town next over. It wasn’t too far at the most 30-40 minutes but as they got to the seemingly empty store they were ambushed by a hoard passing through. One thing led to another and Chan got pushed into a piece of broken glass. That’s all he remembered from then, immediately knocking out at that point. But bits and pieces came. He remembered being lifted into a room, and the yelling of his teammates as they tried to hold back some of the stranglers. Someone trying to do temporary damage before leaving and a frantic Felix writing in a hurry tearing the paper and leaving it on his chest. He hissed not only at the pain but at the feeling of causing the group so much trouble.

“I have to go,” he said as she finished bandaging him up. Now having more strength to move she only shook her head at his antics.

“You really are dumb,” She said.

Getting up she opened the door, “Go ahead and try, it’s been a while since I’ve gotten a decent laugh,” she said now smirking at his decision. He only rolled his eyes before getting up slowly this time. He walked towards the door but not before buckling down as he barely made it to the hallway.

Cackling could be heard from his savior if you could even call her that.

After she finally caught her breath she helped him back up and led him to a different part of the room. She helped him sit in a chair in the dining room before disappearing again.

The dog now staring at him with curiosity, “So your name is Holmes,” Chan asked the dog who only barked happily before walking over to the man. Chan smiled at his joy rubbing the dog's head softly, tail wagging back and forth.

“Holmes ready to trade me out so soon,” she said coming back into sight this time with two bowls one for Chan and a dog bowl for Holmes that she set down next to the table before disappearing again and back with her own bowl.

In the bowl was a mixture of veggies and broth. “Sorry, the only meat we have is jerky and I try to save that for dire needs. Don’t really have much meat these days but I did find a book on trapping hopefully it’ll work. I miss steak,” is all she said before taking a spoonful of the soup and eating quietly. Chan nodded grabbed his own spoon and ate, while it didn’t look all that appealing it tasted better than he expected going back for more.

As he ate he surveyed the room. How did she make it so long? And with a dog by herself? He thought to himself. The house not being much but more than enough space for one person and a dog. Too much some my think.

“Did you start out here?” He asked quietly after finishing eating. Curiosity getting the best of him.

“No” was all she said before going back to eating. He only frowned at her lack of speaking.

“Why is the dog named Holmes?” He asked again hoping to get something out of the strange woman.

She sighed heavily before dropping her spoon. Raising in annoyance at the man’s questions. “No I found him here skin and bones, Guess the family left didn’t plan to take him with. They have a lot of Sherlock Holmes books so I assumed that’s why he’s named that.” She went back to eating hoping the man would stop asking her questions. He was only here temporarily.

“What’s your name?” He asked. She only sighed looking him in the eyes. They were kinda of dreamy and deep like you could just fall into them. Her glare intensified not really at his questions but more at herself for having such a thought. He raised his hands in defense, “You know my name I should at least know yours. Especially if I’m going to be here for a few days,” he said smirking as she responded with a deep sigh and a simple fine.

“My name is Y/N. Y/N L/N. I rather we not get too attached. I don’t do groups,” She said getting up and cleaning the bowls away.

Chan simply nodded understanding that once the world went to shit he had seen how discomfort and death lead people to do dangerous things. How the rage and the lack of understanding lead people to not act like they would when the world was sane. He lost someone that way. He lost a lot of people that way.

The memory still ringing in his head.

Percy. Percy was a somewhat decent guy. He knew him from the company his group had worked at. Most were mechanics who worked for a car factory some were a part of the design team a few were a part of the office that handled all the extra paperwork and the head operatives.

The whole purpose was to build and redesign cars. But had many departments. Chan happened to be a shift leader for the advanced team who worked on engines. When things went to shit they found as many people who weren’t zombies and lead them back to town. It wasn't too hard they were lucky to nearly be done with some of the designs and took those cars. Everyone agreed to Chan being the leader but when food became tight. Percy had grown angry as weeks went by living off jerky and whatever canned goods can be found. He snapped and caused a loud commotion with some of the others who also felt wronged.

Chan caught him fighting Felix over a can of peaches and well when he pulled him off of Felix he threw him. And-

“If you’re gonna look dazed and confused. Do you wanna at least do it looking out at the field,” She said pulling him out of his thoughts. She had changed into some basketball shorts wearing only a sports bra. Fighting his eyes from trailing down her body, he only nodded not really having much to do. And definitely not wanting to go back to that place mentally. That and he didn't trust this Y/N quite yet she wasn't going to see him break. Even if she is hot he thought to himself, the prettier the girl the more trouble she'll bring.

She helped him up slowly walking to the back porch. She thought it be okay since the back had a gate blocking it off probably to keep the young children from wandering into the woods.

“I’m gonna work out and check the perimeter, Holmes stay with him,” is all she said. The dog wagged its tail laying beneath the foot of the man. She began to run around the house, machete in hand round and round. He could see her huffing the sweat dripping down her body. The way her boobs bounced had him coughing. The dog looked up at him but Chan's eyes did not leave the form of her body. It's been a really long time. He shivered at the thought and shook his head away from her. Not wanting to grow any attachment to a woman not now at least not in a do-or-die world. Chan did his best to ignore her looking around at the surroundings and checking to see the perimeter.

She needed a fence he thought to himself. And he needed to get out of here the thought coming to his own mind as he saw her run past again. Looking down at the cut he knew that patience was key but he couldn’t help but think about what his group could be doing now and how long he'd last before she had him in the palm of his hands.

Felix and Han were probably freaking out on what to do next. Lee Know or Changbin would try to keep the group calm. Changbin would also have his hands full trying to keep Lee Know from hurting Hyunjin and Seungmin. Hell Seungmin is probably happy to have more resources for now.

Whatever they were doing he just hoped by the time he would come back they wouldn’t burn the base down. Or each other.

—

You really didn't know what to think of Chan most days he’d watched you run around. His eyes would send shivers down your spine as he watched you. Your heart beats more abnormally whenever you run past him.

Sometimes she'd see him playing with Holmes. The slight smile that rarly show would sends flutters to her stomach. That she rather ignore. Other days she seem him reading. He could finally walk on his own but still had some trouble moving around. Taking breaks every so often if he walked for too much.

They didn’t talk much just questions on what the other wanted for dinner and the small 'good nights' before bed. Well there was on the first night when he could walk around on his own, he had discovered there were more than two rooms. Both are considerably less pink than the one you let him sleep in. The back and forth on why he had to stay in the pink room when there were two perfectly good rooms. You only responded that you thought it was funny. Chan remembers it as your first geniune laugh and often tried to recreate it just to hear it again. You laughed at the memory as you hung the clothes up to dry.

It had been a hotter day but with the soft flow of the wind, it wasn’t all that bad. But as your mind drifted off to Chan and the pleasant day. You didn’t realized the slow figure creeping behind you. As if knowing something was off you quickly turn around bring your hands to keep distance from the creature.

Its teeth were inches away from your face and you couldn’t help but let out a scream as you both fell to the ground. It felt like hours as it tried to take its bite and you could feel the tears streaming from your face as you screamed. Too in shock to let a plan formulate in your mind.

Your life flashing in your eyes, your heart pounding in your chest. Before you could even think about giving in a shadow figure pulled the zombie off of you and smashing its head with your machete. Holmes running up to your side to calm your panic form.

But your mind went blank you couldn’t think of anything to calm yourself just the same words over and over I almost died ringing as if it were your morning alarm. Chan dropped the blade and quickly crouched to you ignoring the pain signals in his abdomen and lifted your body. Your arms immediately went around his neck as he brought you inside.

The shaking the tears and how small you were made the blood on Chan's face drain. In all the days he had been staying with you. You always had this hard exterior, you had your shit together and he never questioned it but the sound of your tears and shaking form. All of it grew this urge to protect you. Even if he knew you didn’t need it.

He finally made it to the living room fully ready to set you down but you wouldn't let go. As if you were afraid of being left alone. Afraid that something would come to get you.

So he sat down with you on his lap.

Rubbing your back repeating the phrase "it’s okay" and "you’re safe now nothing going to get you". Holmes was loosing it trying to bring you comfort and literally anything the poor dog could think of. From his bear to the bouncy ball he even brought your slipper you would wear around the house but you just molded yourself against Chan crying away as you clutched onto his shirt.

Minutes passed your shaking had finally stopped but the tears seemed to run still. Soaking Chan's shirt, but he didn't care he could only try to think of ways to ease your mind. After a few more minutes, the dam had reached its end. You were sitting on Chan's lap and you were sitting on Chan's lap. With that thought you quickly got up smoothing your top as you ran to the bathroom to rush cold water on your face. You feel a blush seeping your skin trying to ignore the feeling of his hard chest that steadied your shaking form.

Get your shit together y/n your fine you didn’t die you can’t let anyone see your weakness. Staring into your own eyes you didn’t notice that he was standing in the doorway. Concerned riddle in his face as he softly said your name. Jumping at the sound you tried to rush past him but he only grabbed your shoulder stopping you in your pace. The warmth of his hand sends butterflies to your stomach and his. He cleared his throat.

“Talk to me” was all he said.

Your puffy eyes shot in confusion at The words. At why he even cared.

As if he could read your mind he spoke again, “Look I get this feeling you’ve been on your own for too long and I may not know why but when scary shit happens it’s best to talk to someone,” is all he said rubbing your shoulders. You slightly shivered but as shocked by your own body subconscious you moved his hands from your shoulders. Not wanting to enjoy the feeling of his skin any more than necessary.

“Look we’re even, you don’t have to pretend to care,” is all you said as you were finally able to push past him. Holmes still concerned followed you as you tried to walk back out into the yard to finish laundry. Key word tried.

Fear consumed your body as your hands hovered over the back door. You could see from here your machete lying on the green grass the dead corpse that almost ate you. Its head splattered to the floor. The laundry that barely hung from the clips flowed in the wind. Your mind running rampant as you tried to push through the fear but you just couldn’t. You smacked your face to rid yourself of lingering fear. You had survived on your own for months now. You had done this all by yourself and now after one mistake, you couldn’t find the courage to walk outside and grab your knife.

“You don’t have to go out there. I can do-“You cut him off holding your hand out. “No I can do it,” you said voice shaking. Chan could only watch as the fear settled within you. The way your hands would go towards the door but not quiet meeting.

“You're still shaken up just take a breather for a second and try again later,” he tried to speak again but you only let your head fall onto the door.

“I can do it” is all you said sighing at what you would call embarrassment.

“I can do it,” you repeated but with just a tad bit of strength talking more to yourself than to him. You took a deep breath and ran out the door looking around as you grabbed your machete. You looked like a dear with your big eyes scanning the area as you ran back to the house. As soon as you got back into the house you slammed the door shut. Holmes and Chan jumped at the loud noise. Letting your back hit the door as you slowly slid down into a fetal position knees up to your shoulders as you cried. You sobbed for your lack of courage. You sobbed for your embarrassment and you sobbed for the fact you almost died due to carelessness. Chan not knowing what to do sat next to you. He didn’t touch you this time he just stayed nearby. Hoping to bring comfort to your stubbornness. And while you wouldn’t really admit it. Him being there was actually nice.

“You know when this all started I lost someone,” he said. You only silently cried but still listened to him.

“I used to work as a mechanic for this company. We were pretty much out in the middle of nowhere.,” his voice trailed a little.

“A few of us guys on the mechanic team fought our way through it all. We met a few in other departments took one of the cars and nearly escaped with our lives. But we were kinda of a big group so when food became short. A lot of people became weak became angry, even myself. You know what greed does to people, especially in a world like this.”

The tears had stopped but you only stared at your lap as you listened.

“One night we got lucky and found a bit of food but,” as if the words were difficult to get out he stopped. You looked up to see him taking a breath to continue.  Too lost in the story to recognize you were fully paying attention.

“But it still wasn’t enough a few fights broke out that night. A lot of people lost it. A few killed each other. I-I had to rip someone off my friend Felix,” he said tears coming to his own eyes.

You hesitated to touch his shoulder but the sound of his sniffle gave you courage. You wanted to give back the comfort he so desperately tired to give you. You reached out smoothing your thumb over the ruffness of his shoulder. He only looked at you as he whipped his tears. Weakly smiling in return.

“I guess we were too loud because a horde came. Those who were still alive died that night. The guy I threw off Felix got pulled right into it. I blamed myself when it finally ended. We used to be 15 in a group and now," he took another breath to calm himself, "now it’s 8,” he said softly. You could see the disappointment he had in himself you could hear it in his voice.

“When we finally found a base it all came crashing down on me. Adrenaline had run its course and I cried for hours. I couldn’t get it together I was afraid that I couldn't reach the expectations in me that I wasn’t good enough to be the leader anymore,” your hand immediately pulled away. He looked confused as you shifted your eyes as you closed into yourself again.

While groups were one thing leaders were another. You could remember his face again after trying to forget it for months you could remember it now. The deep-set smile that taunts you as you wake in the middle of the night to him staring at you. The feeling of his hands as they always found you. His unnerving obsession you barely escaped from.

“You okay,” he asked quietly sensing the edge in your actions the way you feel into yourself in a distant memory. Whatever had come to mind made you afraid. The fear, were you afraid of him he wondered. That wasn’t the point of the story he thought to himself, but you only nodded asking him to continue.

“Where was I? Yeah I cried for hours it took Lee Know to slap me back into place. He reminded me that fear is important. That I should be afraid to die. That’s what keeps you alive. You should be afraid but the moment you live in it you also give up on living. You give up on yourself. He said I shouldn't hold onto it. That I should forgive myself because I did what I thought was right. I didn’t know that would happen. None of us did,” he said softly. He looked at you again this time you kept your eyes on your shoes and the blood that was splattered onto them.

“The reason I’m telling you this is that sometimes you need a break. You’ve been going on your own for a while now. You’ve been through some hard shit. I could barely do it with a group but you did it by yourself,” he said speaking with amazement. “And while it’s good you’re still fighting that fear it’s okay to be afraid but don’t live in it. If you can survive this long. You can at least survive till there’s a cure,” he said quietly. Your eyes shout up to his. Surprised by the amount of words said but even more so surprised he saw that in you. And you didn’t have to say a word. The idea of Chan and him being a leader was pushed to the back of your mind. But your eyebrows weighed heavy as you thought about the allusive thought of their being a cure.

“you really think there’s a cure,” you asked.

“No, but I believe in hope and if a zombie apocalypse can suddenly happen why can’t there be a cure,” is all he said. You laughed at his so-called hope, “you really are dumb,” you said quietly. He only laughed at your bluntness soaking in the rich sound of your voice. A smile reaches his face at hearing anything but your tears.

He bumped your shoulder slightly. “I might be dumb but it made you laugh yeah,” he said eyes meeting yours. You both sat in contentment staring into each other eyes. Him looking for any more sadness or fear, you looking for any ounce of deception anything that could hurt you. Both finding none of the sorts you got up reaching a hand out that he took as you brought him up to stand.

You both held onto each other for slightly longer than necessary. Enjoying the heat of each other skin. He really is attractive you thought to yourself. But as quick as the thought flew you immediately ripped your hands from his muttering something to Holmes as you went to find the dog's lunch.

Your heart beat rapidly again not from the fright earlier but the thought of even so much of an ounce of feelings for Chan. You didn’t really think love would be possible and you weren’t going to start dreaming of it anytime soon.

So for the rest of the day, you avoided Chan like the plague. Running past him to use the restroom. Keeping every conversation short to even hiding in your room when you usually did the opposite. You'd hoped he would write it off as you being just scared but he didn’t.

For the next few days, Chan could tell something was up. He tried to think of every possible reason. Maybe it was the attack but he’d seen you go out often still running around as if nothing happened. Usually, you’d sit in the living room reading some random book. Or even napping with Holmes somewhere. Or even cooking. He always saw you as someone passing the time with no desire to be held away and locked in your room like you were now.

And it killed him. He wanted nothing more than to knock on your door and ask what’s wrong but he also knew you'd be the type to cut him down literally if you felt like it. So he gave you space but after the second day, he couldn’t take it anymore.

So he knocked. No answer.

He did it again. Still no answer.

After the third time, he thought surely she’d answer. But nope just silence.

So he walked away thinking maybe you just needed space or maybe you were asleep but the moment Holmes walked over claws scraping at your door. You immediately opened it letting the happy-go-lucky dog in and quickly shutting the door with a quiet snap.

And that pissed him off. He hated radio silence granted that’s all you would ever give him. But at least you would say good morning or even a small goodnight. Sometimes if he was lucky, you tell him the funny thing or stupid thing the character did in your book. And he patiently listens feeling the comfort of talking to someone else. The comfort of your voice you rarely gift him.

But you ignored him and he couldn’t get why.

So he tried again this time he didn’t knock. Only leaning his head on your door out of frustration in himself for even thinking of just barging in.

“Y/N talk to me,” is all he said. Still no response.

“What did I do,” Is all he asked. No response but a subtle bark from Holmes.

“Look I” he was cut off by the sound of your voice. “Go away Chan I’m fine.” is all you said.

“I know you’re not,” he replied quickly. He was getting even more frustrated with your stubbornness.

You only replied with silence. He could hear the shuffling of feet and before he could react you were opening the door. His head nearly fell forward to the floor but he caught himself by the door frame.

“Look I'm fine just go! I think you’ve healed up. Go find your group and don’t come back,” you said with determination and a small hint of sadness. If he was as dumb as you thought he was he'd actually miss it. Slamming the door before he could say anything else.

And for a second he thought about it. He thought about leaving you here to wallow in your pitty. You could hear him pacing outside the door until he finally slid down resting his back on your door. Little did he know you sat the same on the other side.

Laughing to Himself. He realized maybe just maybe you'd be worth the trouble. Whatever that would come to mean to him.

“No,” is all he said. Confusion swept over your face as you looked back at the closed door. “No,” you questioned back.

“Yeah no,” he said. “I’m gonna wait here until you leave this room or decide to tell me what the fuck is going on,” he said with determination. He just can’t seem to let go or give up. You thought to yourself scoffing at his lack of understanding.

“Well I’m not telling you shit, because I’m fine” is all you said. Holmes now looking at you with a be-for-real face for even a dog. He could probably smell your bullshit just as much as Chan could hear it.

“Well guess I’m gonna be here all night,” is all Chan said scoffing at your words.

“Guess so,” is all you said back. You didn’t really understand why you were acting like this but the apocalypse made you hard. And a part of you knew Chan wasn’t a bad guy. He could have let you die could have let you just cry in your backyard. Hell, he could have left nights ago and taken everything. But he didn’t. He stayed. He’d listen to you rant about some book or even tell you stories of his life before. He never got angry at your sarcastic remarks. He held you when you broke and somehow found the pieces but you just couldn’t find yourself to truly trust him.

Or maybe you did and that was the problem. This world had become a do-or-die there was no time for complicated feelings. And you didn’t know when it began to become complicated. But whenever it did.

You needed it gone as soon as possible.

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TAGLIST (1/50) : @idiotmaterial

AFTER WRITING NOTES: Okay I am so sorry for the delay please accept my humble apology but since next weeks gonna be extra busy for me I will however be postponing posting the next chapter I'm so sorry but I just can't allow myself to be stressed out in anyway next week. But after I promise to get back into a decent posting schedule once again. But I did have fun writing this. Did you have fun reading? Seems Y/N and Chan have more chemistry than we thought huh?

YAYA

[scarlettjemily]

Mine - (Latch Chapter 2)

Latch - Chapter 1

Pairing: Emily Prentiss/Jennifer "JJ" Jareau

Summary: Set 5 years after their wedding. JJ gets injured in the field, causing both women to reminisce about how their relationship began.

Word Count: 3.3k

Posted on Ao3 as well

Emily practically ran to the ambulance when she heard JJ had been injured while the team was entering an unsubs house. She weaved through all the people, biting her tongue in the process; she wanted to snap at all these people to get the fuck out of her way, but she was still the unit chief of the BAU and had a level of professionalism to adhere to. “Jennifer? Jen, oh shit baby,” her professionalism flew out the window when she saw her wife with blood dripping down her face.

“Emily I’m fine; it’s not as bad as it looks,” JJ reassured, trying to stop Emily from overreacting. Although she knew that was just wasted energy, “Em, stop,” she huffed, gently pushing her wife’s hands away.

Emily was right in JJ’s face, trying to get a closer look at the cut on her forehead. “Did you do a concussion assessment? JJ, look at me, do you feel nauseous?” She completely ignored JJ’s objections. Her mind was solely focused on making sure JJ was okay. “We’re going to the hospital now; let’s go,” she went to climb into the ambulance, but JJ grabbed her arm, pulling her back down.

“Jesus Emily, I don’t need to go to the hospital. It’s just a cut; please stop making a fuss." JJ stood up, resting her hands on Emily’s shoulders. “I’ll just go home and rest; you know you can’t just leave yet. Go complete your chief duties, then come home.”

“Like hell, that’s happening!” Emily snapped; she grabbed JJ’s hand tightly and pulled her to the SUV. “Get in; we are going straight home. If you don’t want to go to the hospital, then I’m not letting you out of my sight,” she ripped off her FBI vest and threw it into the back seat before hopping into the driver's seat.

JJ huffed and threw her vest into the back with Emily’s. "Fine,” she grumbled, getting in the passenger seat. She knew there was no point arguing now; when Emily got into this mood, there was no stopping her. JJ sighed and let herself rest back into her chair, using the lever on the side to recline back slightly.

“Are you okay, baby? Are you feeling sick?” Emily said, in a softer voice than before. Her worry becoming more evident now that she’d calmed down.

JJ gave her a small reassuring smile, reaching over the center console and placing her hand on Emily’s thigh, giving it a squeeze. “I promise you I’m okay; it hurts, but I definitely don’t have a concussion. I wouldn’t lie to you about it, darling; I know how protective you are,” she remarked.

Emily let one of her hands fall away from the steering wheel so she could hold her wife’s hand. “A switch just flicks in me when you’re hurt; I can’t help it,” she replied, knowing full well she overreacted in the moment.

“I know exactly what you mean; don’t you remember how I was? Even before we were dating? That one case where you ran in guns fucking blazing and ended up getting caught,” she said, shaking her head at the memory.

Emily snickered, remembering how angry JJ was at her for running onto the scene without thinking. “If I remember correctly, me doing that kind of kick started our relationship, so maybe you should actually be thanking me,” she joked, the mood shifting now that the worry had somewhat dissipated.

“Emily! Get back here!” Rossi screamed, but there was no stopping her. She’d heard a woman’s voice screaming for help, and she couldn’t ignore it. With her gun raised, she kicked the door down and entered the house.

“What is she doing?!” JJ yelled, running up next to Rossi. “I’m going with her,” she insisted, about to run towards the house, but Rossi gripped her arm tightly, yanking her backwards.

“No way, you’re not going in there as well. We have no idea if he’s armed. Let’s wait until we hear from Emily,” Rossi commanded, taking charge of the situation.

JJ went to protest but got interrupted by a woman running out of the house. She expected to see Emily following behind her, but as the seconds passed, she was nowhere to be seen. JJ asked the woman what happened, trying to gauge if Emily was okay. “He’s got her; she told him to let me go, that he could have her instead,” she hysterically cried. “He’s crazy, he’s fucking crazy,” she kept repeating over and over. There was no use talking to her anymore; she was completely traumatised.

JJ kept pacing back and forth, every horrible scenario flashing through her mind. She involuntarily ran through every possibility of losing her best friend, and she was getting closer to completely losing it. “I can’t sit back and wait any longer, Dave; who knows what he’s doing to her in there?” she begged, her arm motioning to the house.

“Hey, I know you’re freaking out; she’s my teammate too,” Rossi said, trying to reason with her.

“She’s not just my teammate! She’s my…“ She trailed off. What was she? Her best friend? Her person? She didn’t know; all she knew was that if she lost Emily, she wouldn’t be able to cope with that.

“I know JJ, I know, you don’t need to say it,” he said quietly, like he was trying to say it so only JJ could hear him.

Everyone stopped when they heard 3 quick gunshots sound off from inside the house. Dave practically pushed JJ forward, both of them launching into a full sprint towards the entrance.

JJ held her gun up, moving quickly through the hallway. “Emily?! Emily, where are you?!” She yelled out. She walked into an open lounge, seeing a pool of blood. Emily was lying right in the middle of it, the unsub directly on top of her. They both weren’t moving. JJ’s heart pounded in her throat, a sob finding its way out. “No, Emily, no, no, no,” she sheathed her gun and dropped to her knees. She used all her strength to flip the unsub off of Emily, revealing gunshot wounds to his abdomen. There was too much blood; she couldn’t count how many times he’d been shot. She ignored her FBI duties and didn’t care to check his pulse; right now she only cared about Emily. Emily was covered in blood. JJ cried out, trying to find where the bullet had entered so she could apply pressure.

“JJ, I’m okay." Emily croaked out, "It's not my blood; it’s not my blood; it’s not my blood," she repeated multiple times because JJ wouldn’t stop crying. She got the wind completely knocked out of her when the unsub fell on top of her. They’d gotten into a physical fight; it was a complete blur. She just remembers seeing a knife, and the next moment she was firing.

JJ kept pressing her hands all over Emily’s stomach, frantically trying to find an open wound. She just couldn’t comprehend what Emily was saying to her.

“JJ stop! I’m okay, I’m not hurt, it’s not my blood,” Emily snapped, trying to get her attention. She sat up, gripped JJ's wrists, and tried to keep them still, not needing to put up too much of a fight now that she’d caught her breath. “Look at me, it’s not my blood,” she said again, this time slower, looking directly into JJ's eyes.

JJ stopped fighting and stared down at Emily; her cries kicked up a notch, but this time she fell into Emily, just needing to feel her in her arms. “I thought you were dead. I really, really thought you were dead,” she choked through hysterical sobs.

Emily held JJ in a tight hug, her arms locking around her waist. “I’m okay,” she huffed out, JJ's tight grip on her partially restricting her air flow.

“I can’t ever lose you, Emily,” JJ whispered into Emily’s ear. She didn’t care if anyone heard her; all her fear and doubt about her feelings disappeared in the moment. “I love you, Emily; I thought I lost you without telling you that I love you,” she confessed.

"Oh, darling, I know,” Emily consoled the younger woman, still holding her tightly. “I love you too, Jayje; god, I love you so much.” She couldn’t let go of JJ; she didn’t want to, not after they both just confessed their feelings. She truly had no idea if it would go anywhere, but she was so relieved she could finally get that off her chest.

"Hey,” Emily smiled, sitting down in the seat next to JJ. They were all on the jet, heading back home after the whole ordeal. JJ separated herself from the team in the furthest corner seat. Emily left her for a while, wanting to respect her choice of being alone, but their mutual confession was eating her alive.

"Hey,” JJ replied, tensing slightly. Her mind was overwhelmed, and when she looked at Emily, all she could think about was her lying in a pool of blood.

“Do you mind if I sit here with you?” She asked, always wanting to respect JJ’s choices.

JJ chuckled at the question; she was amused by it because there will never be a time where JJ would ever say no to having Emily sit beside her. "No, I don’t mind at all,” she replied, sitting up and turning her body so she was facing the woman next to her.

“I think we should talk about today,” Emily said, also turning slightly in her seat to face JJ. “A lot happened,” she continued.

“If you ever run into an unsubs house like that again, Emily, I’ll kill you myself,” JJ promised. She was mad about the way Emily handled it; her mind kept going back to the moment where she truly thought Emily was dead. “That was so stupid; you could’ve been killed,” she scolded the older woman.

Emily let out a guilt-stricken sigh; she wasn’t thinking at the time. “I’m sorry, I truly wasn’t thinking; I just acted. I had no idea it would turn out the way that it did, and I had no clue it would affect you this badly,” she ran her fingers through her hair, a nervous habit coming out subconsciously.

JJ looked at her with a screwed-up face. “Seriously, Emily? Of course it would affect me this badly! You’re telling me you wouldn’t be affected if roles were reversed and you thought I had died?” She demanded. Her body temperature was rising now; how could Emily be so clueless? Even if she didn’t know exactly how JJ felt, she still knew how important she was to her.

"No, of course I’d be affected, Jesus JJ. I don’t even know what I’d do if I’d lost you,” she stated, looking straight at her. “You’ve got to understand; I had no idea how you felt about me until today. I mean, I still don’t quite know,” she was hoping they could clarify a few things now.

“I told you I love you; what don’t you get about that?” JJ asked as if the answer was so obvious.

Emily rolled her eyes. “It’s not that simple, JJ. Do you love me as a friend? Or something more? Because when I said I loved you, I sure as hell didn’t mean as a friend,” she was working hard to hide the fear she was feeling; she didn’t know where this would go.

“Are you dense? Of course something more." JJ said quietly, moving in her chair so she was closer to Emily so only she could hear what she had to say. “I want you; I love you. When I saw you lying there in a pool of blood, I thought I’d lost you, and it made me realise that I need you, Emily; I need you to be mine.” She laid it all out on the table; she couldn’t get any clearer than what she was being.

Emily breathed out a quick ‘oh’ under her breath, more to herself than to JJ. Her mind was racing, and she had to cover her mouth; she didn’t want her face-eating grin to be so obvious. "JJ, are you sure? Because I’m not playing, I don’t think you understand how much you truly mean to me,” she admitted, needing clarification for the umpteenth time.

JJ rolled her eyes, grabbing Emily’s hand. “Emily Prentiss, I understand because I feel the exact same way.” She was begging Emily to believe her. “You have to trust me; please let me prove it to you.”

Emily squeezed JJ’s hand tightly, nodding her head. “Okay, okay, I trust you.”

"Jen, babe, do you want to rest on the couch or in the bedroom?” Emily asked, walking into the bathroom. JJ was standing in a towel in front of the mirror, brushing her freshly washed hair.

"Couch, please,” she replied, giving Emily a tired smile.

Emily still had residual worries from earlier in the day. “Are you sure you’re okay?” She questioned, walking over to JJ and instinctively going to check her head wound. “I have to admit, it doesn’t look as bad now that it’s clean,” she admitted, knowing she was slightly dramatic in the moment.

JJ chuckled, resting her cheek into Emily’s palm, which rested on her cheek. “I told you I was fine,” she teased, turning her head to plant a kiss on Emily’s palm. “Can you pick me out something comfy to wear, please?” She pleaded, with a pout she was working hard to put on.

Emily laughed and squeezed JJ’s cheeks with her hand, placing a quick kiss on her lips. “I already laid out an outfit for you, baby; come on,” she said, heading back out to their room so JJ could get dressed.

Both women were on the couch in their lounge. Emily was sitting surrounded by a bunch of paperwork and files. She was trying to complete the work she would’ve done after the case had wrapped, but of course she’d decided to stay with her wife. JJ was lying next to Emily, her feet tucked under Emily’s thigh. It was her favourite way to warm her feet up; it was also something she quite often did solely for comfort.

“Oh my god, JJ,” Emily said, holding up a piece of paperwork she was filling out.

JJ noticed the tone of voice and looked up at Emily, confused. “What? What’s wrong?” She asked, propping herself up on her elbows. Emily handed her the paper, telling her to look at the date. “Wait, that’s not today’s date, is it?” Emily chuckled and confirmed that it was. “Emily, we both forgot our anniversary?” She said, genuinely surprised that it had both slipped their minds. “And it’s our fifth anniversary too! Noo, I’m actually so sad about this,” she sighed, throwing the file down on the coffee table.

“Hey, no, come here." Emily cooed, pulling JJ by the hand. Her other half crawled over and straddled her lap, a sad look still occupying her face. “It was a mistake; we’ve both been super busy with this case; it doesn’t mean anything more than that." Emily tried to console JJ; she could already predict the thoughts that would be swirling through her mind. JJ tried to protest, but Emily stopped her. “Ah, no. I know exactly what you’re thinking, and it’s not true. It doesn’t mean we love each other any less or we are falling out of love. Shit honey, I love you more today than I did yesterday,” she declared, cupping JJ’s face.

“I just don’t want us to become one of those couples who don’t care about that kind of thing anymore; we get so used to being with each other that every day is the same until we eventually fall out of love with each other,” JJ had to admit. She was worried and slightly insecure; that’s exactly how her last marriage ended. Every day, exactly the same until they agreed they no longer loved each other anymore. She was terrified that that was going to happen to her and Emily; that would definitely kill her.

Emily pulled JJ closer to her body, the blonde hugging her tightly. She patted the back of JJ’s thighs. “Oh Jayje, I know you’re worrying about it, but you don’t need to; you’re stuck with me, my love. For the rest of our lives, okay?”

JJ let out a comforted sigh. She loved being reminded by her wife how much she loved her “promise?” She asked, seeking clarification again.

“What was it you told me all those years ago? You have to trust me; let me prove it to you.” Emily quoted JJ’s words from all those years ago; it was something she’d never forget.

"Okay, can I look now?” JJ asked, her hands covering her eyes. Emily was behind her, hands on her hips, guiding her where to walk.

Emily stopped JJ right at the entrance of their bedroom. She’d spent the last hour or so throwing something together so they could celebrate their anniversary. She wanted JJ to know that their relationship was still strong, regardless of whether or not they forgot their anniversary. “Okay, open your eyes,” she instructed, coming to stand next to JJ in the doorway. Her arm resting loosely around JJ's waist.

“It’s perfect, Emily; it’s so perfect,” she gushed, admiring their newly decorated bedroom. There were candles peppered all over the entire room, softly illuminating the space. She could see their favourite takeaway food, laid out on plates, set up on their bed. JJ smiled seeing their favourite comfort show already playing on the TV.

"Look, it’s nothing like what we usually do, but I think it’s not bad considering what I was working with,” Emily admitted sheepishly, moving to sit on the bed, guiding JJ over by her hand.

"Gosh, I’m so lucky I have you." JJ gushed, climbing up on the bed and moving to sit in between Emily’s legs; the positioning was now a subconscious decision between the two.

The woman sat there together, Emily’s arms around JJ's waist, JJ feeding the both of them an assortment of food. They were happy and content, not needing anything fancy to enjoy the love they shared for one another.

“You promise we will be together forever?” JJ whispered.

They were both lying under the covers, facing each other, their bodies and limbs tangled together in a position that could’ve resembled a pretzel. The room was dark, but they could just see each other’s faces; the candles had almost all burned out by now.

“I promise my love, there’s nothing in this world that could ever make me fall out of love with you,” Emily proclaimed. Her hand tucked some stray hair behind her wife’s ear; she couldn’t help running her thumb over JJ's bottom lip. She tended to do that innately, whenever she was admiring the features of her face. She understood why JJ may be worried; her history with her ex-husband could easily explain her insecurities.

“I don’t ever want to lose you,” JJ almost pleaded, her eyes getting hot as her anxiety level rose internally.

Emily shook her head, her hand finding its way into JJ's hair, pulling her head closer so she could plant a kiss on her wife’s forehead. “I’m yours, forever,” she mumbled against the warm skin, being careful of the cut on her head.

JJ smiled when she heard that. “Mine,” she replied, pressing her lips to Emily’s. Her hand slipping under the hem of Emily’s shirt, the warmth of her skin helping JJ ground herself in the moment.

Emily groaned when JJ began to kiss down her jawline, making a path to her ear. "Fuck,” she whispered when JJ bit her earlobe, all while repeating 'mine’ over and over. "Yours,” she breathed out, shivers running through her body. She could just feel how much JJ loved her in this moment.

"Mine,” JJ said once more, finding Emily's lips, kissing her deeply; any worries she’d had were washed away almost instantly.

[spaceumbredoggos]

Suprise motherfuckers! Chapter four of Aces and Oh's is here!!!

Chapter Four (I won’t Hurt you, I won’t hurt you.)

Atlas’s POV:

Kenz panted agitatedly. The tortoiseshell cat from before rushed up to Kenz, licking their hair and purring. Kenz whined before laying still, calmed down by the cat’s purring. Their mind finally stopped racing. I noticed some puncture marks on the back of their neck that were different from the other bruises. A chill ran down my spine. Rabies. I sighed, picking the cat up off of Kenz and taking her away from Kenz. 

Shifters don’t die from rabies. It’s a common rite of passage to grow up for shifters. They can’t have the post exposure shots because they’ll only accelerate the progression of the disease. It’s like how older people used to catch measles. I picked up Kenz, who seemed somewhat feverish and out of it. They didn’t even thrash as if they were soothed to sleep. I closed the door to our room behind me and locked it. I texted Ford what was going on with Kenz and that they needed to be quarantined until the disease passes.

Holly approached Kenz, poking at their forehead. Kenz’s only response was a whine. “Woah! What’s going on with them?”

“Rabies.” I laid them on the couch, putting their blanket on them. “Oh great. Rabies. Remember when you got that and you wouldn’t stop screaming at the anteaters you saw?” 

“Still haven’t let that go that I gave you rabies?” I sighed, catching the rabid bat that bit Kenz. “Here Kenz.” 

“They’re not gonna want to eat that.” 

“Gimmie!!!” Kenz snapped at the bat, swiftly scarfing it down. They were in the early stages of the disease where they can still swallow and eat properly. “Was that the bat that bit me?”

“It should help with the severity of the symptoms.” I swaddled Kenz up in their favorite blanket. They were too feverish to refuse. “How about we treat the rest of your wounds?”

“Nya!!! Negatory!!!” They started to thrash, to which I responded with a water bottle filled with water with a silicone mouthpiece. I put it up to their mouth as they latched on and started drinking. Their expression softened as I grabbed the medical supplies that Ford left on my desk. “Can you help me keep them still so that I can have a good look at their wounds?”

“They’ll rip me to shreds!!!” Holly crossed her arms. I rolled my eyes and started to take off Kenz’s bloodied tshirt. “Can you at least make sure they’re distracted?” 

“Fine.” Holly held the water bottle as Kenz started getting drowsy again. “What did you put in that water?”

“It’s just regular water.” I gazed over at Kenz, who was starting to fall asleep. I noticed a yellow flash in their sighted eye. “Oh shit.” I shook them, noticing the wounds on their back starting to glow. Their lips curled back to an eerie smile as their sighted eye turned a bright yellow with a slitted pupil. 

“Hemlock… Yew…” Their voice was raspy and shrill. They weren’t coordinated with their steps. I couldn’t access their mind, and it hurt to try to read it. I held them down as they thrashed, biting at me and their arms. I panted, gazing at Holly. “What’s going on with them?”

“It’s not the rabies. That’s for sure.” 

“SIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXEEEERRRRR!!!” A chill ran down my spine as it was clear Kenz’s voice wasn’t their own. I grabbed the back of their neck with a scruff and swaddled them in a blanket. I held on tight, hearing snarls and growls coming from whoever was in Kenz’s body. “This meat sack only wants to bite!!! What’s wrong with it? I can’t swallow!!! Where’s their meds?”

“Give Kenz back!!!”

“Hemlock… Tsk tsk tsk…” They thrashed weakly, panting. “Dammit!!! This meat sack was never this useless!!! It’s like it’s actively decaying!!! I’ve possessed corpses with more range of motion.”

“Possessed corpses?” I jolted, refusing to let go of Kenz. With a final jerk, their eye returned to normal as they gazed back at me. Their mouth was frothy and was curled in a snarl. They growled, but was too exhausted to turn and thrash. 

I noticed a tear come down from their sighted eye. Their breaths were heavy as they shook, terrified. “I-I don’t want to hurt…” Their sighted pupil dilated as they snapped back, their jaws inches away from my face. I didn’t even flinch as I gently rubbed their back, giving them a frozen mouse to bite down on. 

“Atlas, that’s so gross!! Where’d you find that?”

“I-it actually tastes amazing…” Kenz purred, thrashing their head and biting down hard. They started calming down, but then started sobbing. “H-he could have killed you. I could have killed you. I’m so sorry!!! I could’ve bitten off your nose!! I can’t swallow!!!” Kenz growled and shook the mouse violently. Ice cold mouse blood splattered everywhere, causing Holly to scoff. “Can’t you be more careful with that?”

“Holly. Let it be. Haven’t you ever wanted to rip up a good mouse?”

“Please. I’m more dignified. Why does Kenz have to be so gross?” Holly growled, causing Kenz to shrink back into their blankets and whine. “Let them have this. They’ve always wanted to eat prey like this. Their digestive system can no longer handle processed human food.”

“And rodents are better? Won’t they catch even more diseases?” Holly took the mouse away as Kenz bit down on Holly’s hand. She glared at them, grabbing their tongue so hard that Kenz let go, gagging. “That was uncalled for.”

“They started it!!!” Holly whined like a kindergartener. “Why are you so defensive of them? They literally tried to kill us—“

“You thought I tried to kill you?” Tears flooded Kenz’s sighted eye. They gazed away from us, burying their head in the pillows. “Hey, hey. Kenz. It’s okay. I know you weren’t trying to kill us.”

“You excuse this behavior?” Holly rolled her eyes. “Well, what if you were brought to a strange place from a highly traumatic psych ward and you knew no one here? And you can’t see your family ever again?” I gave Kenz back the mouse they were ripping to shreds. The froth had disappeared from their mouth as they were able to swallow again. They ate the mouse happily and started to calm down. They yawned, slipping back into sleep.

“Great. You got them to sleep. Now they won’t bother us.” Holly scoffed as I carried them to their bed. “They don’t have full blown hydrophobia yet. But let’s err on the side of caution and quarantine them from everyone in the house.” I grabbed a dna test from Ford’s lab equipment and a needle. “They’re passed out. I think whatever happened to them that caused them to call us ‘meat sacks’ took a lot out of them.”

“Are you seriously gonna fucking poke them with a needle?” Holly tried to reach for the needle, but i swiped my hand away. “Ford asked me to do a blood draw on them since the psych ward staff couldn’t get labs. I have the best reputation with them at the moment.” I gently drew Kenz’s blood. They didn’t even stir as I finished up, puzzled by their lack of a response. “I have to get urine out of them too.”

“Good luck with that.” Holly grumbled as Kenz started to suck on their bottom lip. I chuckled to myself as I started the DNA test. Kenz’s nose twitched as they perked their head up to gaze out the window. A pair of stags were eating from the bird feeder.

Kenz’s cheeks twitched as they drew their lips back to a snarl. They got down on all fours and transformed into a mottled grey and yellow dog with one floppy ear and one straight ear. Their jaws snapped with loud barks and foam. They lunged at the window at the deer, who were unfazed. “Kenz. Those are just stags. They eat from the birdfeeder sometimes.”

Kenz involuntarily transformed back into their human form and their voice started to rasp as they shouted. “BUT THAT’S MY BIRDFEEDER!!! MY SEEDS!!! MY WEEVILS!!!! MINE MINE MINE!!!!” 

“They’re like some sort of overgrown toddler.” Holly growled as Kenz tackled them, biting her arm. “STOP IT!!!”

“DON’T TOUCH MY BIRDFEEDER!!! MAKE THE DEER STOP!!! LET ME OUTSIIIIIIIDE!!!!!” Kenz was shouting at an octave that seemed really painful. I heard footsteps that obviously belonged to Ford. “Don’t come in unless you want to get bitten.” “More so, don’t come in at all. Kenz has rabies.” Holly was pinning Kenz down as they were snapping their teeth at her arms. I blocked the door so that Ford didn’t come in. “Rabies?”

“Yeah. A bat got in. Might wanna go get everyone shots. Shifters won’t die of rabies. But it’s quite the trip for Kenz.” I shoved my arm into the door as Ford was jiggling the knob. “HELP MEEEEEE!!!! THIS KID IS CRAZY!!!”

“GIVE ME YOUR KNEECAPS OR I WILL SUMMON THE FLAMINGO QUEEN!!!!!” Kenz sounded dead serious as Holly put a muzzle on their mouth. “UNMUZZLE ME!!! FEED ME HUMAN FINGER CHEESE!!! AND OLIVE GARDEN!!!”

“Olive Garden?” Ford quizzically asked as he entered the room. Kenz had that bitey look in their sighted eye as they tried to nip through their muzzle. “It’s all under control.” I tried to assure Ford, who tried to approach the rabid shifter with his hands outstretched. “Easy. Easy.” 

Kenz snarled loudly, their teeth pointed and sharp. Their sighted eye was glassy and the pupil was dilated, showing that they weren’t really all there. “I just need to put a bandage on your eye.” Ford approached closer, only to be slashed furiously by Kenz’s sharp claws across his nose. “Kenz. No. Have you been licking your claws? Might wanna go to the ER for rabies shots.” I stood between Kenz and Ford. Kenz was glaring daggers at Ford, poised to strike again. “We get it. You don’t want anyone touching you. But we have to get things done for your safety. I know you’re not really feeling well and all you want is to be left alone. But we can’t have that as that would end in a lawsuit--”

“You’re too soft on them. They’re not gonna listen.” Holly picked Kenz up as they rapidly thrashed in her arms. They slashed gaping cuts into Holly’s arms, blood spraying everywhere. Kenz pawed at the muzzle on their mouth. “Holly. Put them down.”

“The second they find a hidey hole, they’re gonna go in it. I’m not fishing out 183 pounds of rabid shapeshifter from a ten inch hole that they somehow fit in.” Holly grabbed some nail clippers and claw caps. “They’ll just grow their claws out again.” 

“Then we keep cutting them.” Holly trimmed the claws to more manageable nubs and put cat claw covers on them. She wrapped up Kenz’s hands as they kicked and fussed like a cheeky toddler. “Don’t fucking kick me with your murder beans!!!”

“FEED ME FINGERS!!!!” Kenz snapped at Ford’s hand as it neared their eye. “Ford. Want me to get some sedation?” “No. I can handle this.” Ford reached for the gauze as blood squirted everywhere like a geyser. The blood was not its typical red hue, but the color of mercury. Oh no. Kenz. Don’t squirt mercury out of your eyes. I scrambled to cover Kenz’s eyes as Holly gasped out loud. “Well, the results are in for the DNA test. Kenz is our sibling.”

[team-heavenly]

Drumroll‚ please! 🥁

It’s been some time, and I managed to slip on my promised deadline once again (thank you for your patience)... But finally‚ we return to the story of Teresa and Andrea in our Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky Randomizer!

A few items of note before we get started (and yeah sorry this is overly detailed and lengthy because idk what it means to be concise, just scroll down if you're not interested):

Please be aware: updates to Team Heavenly’s story will not be as frequent as they were during main. I now work a full-time job in a field where my schedule is somewhat contingent on unanticipated emergencies. And in general‚ I’m just a very busy adult! So I unfortunately can’t give you an exact (or even rough) timeline of when posts will be released— It basically comes down to whenever I have the time to do it. But rest assured‚ the entirety of this tale will be told… eventually!

I’ve gotten my hands on a newer tablet since last year, so my camera quality is much better now! …However. While snapping pics for this post‚ a seemingly unavoidable digital blue glare persisted‚ no matter how I adjusted my screen brightness. When I subsequently ran these photos through the auto function‚ they didn’t really… improve? So I had to do a lot of manual tweaking… Anyway‚ all of that to say if one shot doesn’t look visually consistent with another, it’s because each image got edited a little bit differently.

I will link multiple posts for a single "chapter" (see last bullet) in the same manner as before, with preceding and succeeding parts linked at the beginning and end, respectively. I’ll also update the table of contents in the pinned post for continued ease of navigation.

Also, please note... last year, my older iPad somehow managed to circumvent any sort of (consistent) image limit. But that is not the case this time! There is a strict hard limit of 30 images per post. It's therefore likely that post-game chapters will have more parts than the main-story chapters ever did. (Though whether that actually equates to a "lengthier" chapter is up for debate.)

As the post-game content does not get separated into official chapters‚ I will be partitioning the story based on subject matter! For example, this first act will focus on the guild’s graduation exam, the next will include Sky Peak, and so on. I also intend to use a random number generator to select chapter names from this list. (I mean, c’mon, that's part of the fun of a randomizer!) But for the sake of clarity, I will be including the actual subject matter after the chosen title in (parentheses). Thus‚ this first unofficial post-game chapter is known as…

Chapter 21: Would you like to eat moss?

(AKA: The Guild’s Graduation Exam)

As a result of Teresa and Andrea’s heroic actions… The destruction of time was stopped and peace returned to the world of Pokémon. They went back to Totodile’s Guild and fell back into their daily routine of vigorous training.

One morning‚ several months later…

Pineco: “:/ Hey hey, why can Teresa and Andrea take the graduation exam before we do? We’ve been around a lot longer…”

Tropius: “…They literally saved the world and have proven themselves to be worthy many times over. Also skill issue lol.”

Don’t feel bad for Pineco though; he’s not the only one getting roasted.

Lol rip.

Anyway‚ Andrea asks the very sensible question of what exactly this exam entails…

Dark Chasm? Evil MANSION?!

Are you— are you sending us back to the future‚ Totodile?! WTF??

Oh! That’s easy enough though. I mean‚ compared to scaling a collapsing tower while Time itself crumbled at our feet? Pshaw! This will be a cakewalk!

...You know, this is really the first thing that should have tipped me off as a kid 🤦‍♀️

🤨 How convenient.

Okay, so he's not gonna be any help, unfortunately. Looks like we're going in blind. (Haha unintentional pun...unless?)

But for real, anything that makes Mewtwo cry out in fear and run away is a force to be reckoned with indeed.

As we enter Nautical Cottage to begin our preparations, we run into our stand-ins for Teddiursa and Ursaring! After a quick chat, Horsea reveals they are also headed to the Dark Chasm...

*seen (sorry).

Also, at the risk of beating a dead Horsea (aHA! TWO FOR TWO ON THE PUNS!), y'all go play WHERE? *gets hit immediately by a Snipe Shot*

Andrea immediately suspects something is sus. Unfortunately, this is the smartest she's ever gonna get about it.

Anyway, it's been a hot minute, so I go to check my storage and evaluate what I have to work with...

BRUH?? I do NOT remember picking this up omg 😳

So my plan is to equip this for the exam, right? But then I totally forgot to do that 😅

Also I don't have a picture for this but I was able to buy 3 Poké from the Finnkecleon shop for free lol

✅Mission: set ✅Destination: arrived ✅Chance of success: 💯😎🎆

Oh my god, this really is the future of darkness!! I guess our efforts to save the world weren't enough, damn 😓

🎶I'm starting with the man in the mirror I'm asking him to change his ways🎶

A couple of Gummis later, Teresa learns the Lava Evader IQ Skill! Neat!

Me when Ivysaur used Fly:

Believe it or not, this actually almost killed Andrea at 96 damage. But the stairs were nearby and I wasn't too worried about it until...

Go figure, amirite?

Then Andrea reminded me of the awesome power of Blizzard and we knocked out everyone except Combusken and the Kabuto on the first turn <3 And she got right back up again in no time with the Fast Healer skill!

Does anyone remember that one time when I had the foolish idea to forget Quick Attack in favor of Helping Hand? Yeah, not one of my smartest moves. But I managed to find a TM in this dungeon that does the same thing as Quick Attack but better!

Here's the info for Quick Attack:

And here's the info for Mach Punch:

Higher power and hit ratio? Yes please! (Yes, I'm aware both are only one star stronger. But hey, every bit counts.)

I teeechnically have enough room for three more images, but this feels like a natural transition point so click here to advance to Part 2!

[aei9athy]

Aeternum vale

| navigation | a/n: saw a prompt like this on twitter and I love angst so I created this. First time posting on here so please be kind ❤️ | warnings: angst, slight and I mean a sliver of alcoholism, non canonical character death | cross posted on ao3 | tags 🏷️ : @thethreeeyed-raven |

June 13th 2014

It’s been a year since Ada left him, again. It was something Leon had become somewhat numb too. Her being there with him was never in the cards. He tries and tries and tries and somehow fate somehow separates them. He wished he had taken Helena’s advice and had gone after her, he wished he could have held her or kissed her before she ran away again. He felt like a damn fool. She could be dead for all he knows, rotting in the ground or maybe scattered ashes. No. Fate wasn’t kind enough for that, knowing their luck she would be made into a BOW, ready to be sold to the first greedy bastard who laid eyes on her.

Leon shakes his head. No, she’s too strong to die, to be turned into one of those things. His foot bounces on the ground. Why was he so tense all of a sudden? He knows she’s capable of living alone so why was he so worried? Maybe it’s time for a call, it wouldn’t hurt right?

He takes his phone from his pocket and slowly dials the number but for some reason cannot press the call button. She doesn’t need him anymore, just like always she’ll come when or if she needs something. However those words that Helena said are still gnawing at the back of his mind. “She’s more than just a friend isn’t she?” Those words are on a deafening loop in his mind 24/7. Were they ever really friends? He could never think of a word to describe their relationship but that’s how he liked it. Putting the phone back in his pocket he decided to wait, she’d call when she’s ready.

That call never came. A week went by, nothing. A week turned to a month to somehow a whole year. He tried shaking off the ominous feeling he felt in his chest every time he looked at the makeup compact on his dresser. It was fine though, once it was a six year gap! Leon had said to himself at least a dozen times each day to keep himself sane.

At long last on June 13th 2015 he called her.

“Unfortunately I’m unavailable at the moment please leave a message!”

It was her voice! It took Leon a few seconds to realise it was a pre recorded message. Quickly he spoke, stumbling over his own words. “Hey Ada! It’s been a while huh? Listen I know you’re probably really busy but I’d like to see you again or even just a call. I need to know you’re alive, talk later…Hun.” The last word hurt more to say than he thought. It was a nickname the two had grown accustomed to throughout the years.

Once again he was waiting and waiting until a month later his mobile rang in his back pocket. “Ada! Are you there? I’ve missed you so much, please tell me you’re alright.” His words come out liked alphabet spaghetti but instead of his lovers voice there was a deeper voice, one Leon could not recognise. “You must be mr Leon Kennedy? I’m sorry but Miss Wong has been dead for over a year now. She died on June 13th 2014.” Before Leon could even comprehend what had been said to him the phone went dead and only the beeping of the hung up phone could be heard.

Time stopped, grief swallowed him up more than any BOW had done before. A hot white pain stung in his chest, it was like his heart had been ripped out and stitched back in by a butcher. However tears did not come, he just sat there, looking at that damned makeup compact. He would never be able to give it back to her. He would never see her again. Helena was right he should have gone to her, he should’ve kissed her and told her how much he loved her and…!

His brain stopped processing, overheating from the guilt and regret of never being able to tell her how he really felt.

“I love you.”

A single tear fell down his cheek.

Months go by and guilt is still lingering over him. His nightmares become worse and so does his drinking. Everyday he would call her number, hear her voice on the answer machine and then whisper sweet nothings into the phone.

He was sent the address of the place where she was buried. She wanted to be cremated. Even in death she never got what she wanted. He decided to see her, take the compact and try to find some sort of solace or peace from this overwhelming regret.

There it was, alone just like she was. Beautiful, just like she was. The compact was tight in his hand, he also decided to bring along the teddy keychain she had given him a decade ago.

“Hey Ada.”

He says nothing and places the compact on the headstone. Somehow he felt lighter, no words needed. He sits there reminiscing for hours but still says nothing. Finally he gets up and whispers one thing to the grave and leaves.

“I love you.”

[smoshpunisher]

twin fantasy x ianthony lyric breakdowns

hello! so smosh came back and i cant help but do a lyric breakdowns of my favorite album that reminds me of them. twin fantasy (album link at the end of the post)

My Boy - Twin Fantasy

My boy, we don't see each other much My boy, we don't see each other much It'll take some time But somewhere down the line We won't be alone

this literally shows ian missing anthony after the smosh breakup, but still holding on of that idea of them back together. hence the "but somewhere down the line we wont be alone" he's still CLINGING on that hope for smosh, for his childhood best friend to come back.

the jokes about "where's anthony" from smosh cast, still somewhat depressed that his literal life partner went away and resented ian for it. for staying so positive after his creation of smosh was ripped away from anthony.

sad that anthony completely cut contact from him when he POSSIBLY needed him the most.

Sober to Death

You know that good lives make bad stories You can text me When punching mattresses gets old Don't think it'll always be this way Not comforted by anything I say We were wrecks before we crashed into each other

this specific song is so THEM coded. this is the two years leading up to the breakup and anthony's hatred to defy. ian trying to stay positive, wanting anthony to stay. but anthony had enough with the company and tried convincing ian to leave with him. with "not comforted by anything i say" showing how ian is so stubborn and wont leave smosh with him. with now the friendship they built for YEARS, breaking down because of their work.

with "you know good lives make bad stories" could show how fake their friendship was. that what they had with each other was, or was NEVER real. it was all a brand identity to keep the company happy. they probably didn't consider themselves best friends. never making time for each other outside of SMOSH.

ian and anthony being complete WRECKS because of defy. and now their needs are crashing into each other, and anthony couldn't take it anymore and left.

I wanna hear you going psycho If you're going psycho, I wanna hear

anthony for ONCE just wants ian to open up to him. anthony just wanted to see some vulnerability from ian, but ian is the one clinging to the idea of smosh. and anthony realizing this whole duo was ran with delusions of what they originally had. that he couldn't bare the evolution of smosh, and defy's controlling behavior. he had to LEAVE.

Take your hands off your neck and Hold on to the ghost of my body You know that good lives make bad stories

they're still parading the idea of smosh, and what they had with each other. holding onto the library of content they created, and that to each other it's still possible to create the same magic with each other.

especially "hold onto the ghost body" holding on the old idea or old friendship.

What if it'll always be this way Not comforted by anything you say

the part where the friendship starts to crumble. ian possibly horrified of the idea of running a company alone. created SO MUCH emotional baggage. wanting to fix the friendship after anthony left.

Don't worry, you and me won't be alone no moreDon't worry, you and me won't be alone no more

(this part is better if you listen to this portion of this song)

can we talk about will toledo's song writing? the harsh electric guitar to calm acoustics? showing the LITERAL delusions of forming a good relationship to hold onto?

after anthony left, wanting to let ian know he won't be alone and he will be fine, and ian wanting the same feeling reciprocated to anthony. that they won't be alone, and that their journey's apart will be filled with the people they care about. anthony has his loyal fans and ian has the smosh crew to back him up.

High to Death

And I said hell is the sun Burning forever at the center of things A ball on fire at the center of things

anthony making that HATE letter to ian months after the departure. anthony being all like "ian never had the best interest and only cared about work" and sad that ian never cared about the friendship. (newsflash ian literally cared more than anything)

ian being the sun, he's burning the little left of the friendship. trying to reach out, or saying anthony is always welcomed back. hence "burning forever at the center of things" as he always beaming for anthony to come back. to restore things to the ways before defy completely ruined the friendship.

Used to be so human, now it's just a machine I can't turn this thing off, it keeps following me

anthony during his time with defy felt so dehumanized, knew that the company didn't have it's best intentions. that smosh's past always creeps up when he wants to be his own independent creator. leaving his friend to run a channel all by himself. while ian is running around finding smosh's voice without anthony.

Famous Prophets (Stars)

Apologies to future mes and yous But I can't help feeling like we're through The ripping of the tape hurts my ears In my years, I have never seen anyone quit quite like you do

ian accepting the fact that his friendship and the duo of smosh is over. he officially lost his best friend as he broke contact with him. ian completely LOST it, going to therapy to help cope with everything he lost. his ride home after high school, his creative partner for 11 years, and of COURSE his best friend. (people in smoshcast literally begged him to go since he looked so defeated)

also "in my years, i have never seen anyone quit quite like you do" ian taken back that anthony just went up and left. left to start something new, and he did it in such a breeze.

Did I fail? Did I fall? (In the morning when I wake up, are you mine?) Did I waste my time, waste my time on a broken heart? (Take the trash out like a bad dream, are you gone?) Or is this the start of the great silence?

questioning if this was all his fault, maybe that he wasn't mature enough to understand where anthony is coming from. that maybe him being so emotionally unavailable broke their friendship in half. wondering if anthony will ever come back to smosh, or it's really over.

wondering all that time with anthony was really worth it, but said it himself all the shitty things that defy made them do he wouldn't take it back.

also at the end of the song, there's a poem. just let the poem do the talking.

Love never fails But where there are prophecies, they will cease Where there are tongues, they will be stilled Where there is knowledge, it will pass away For we know in part and we prophesy in part But when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I abandoned my childhood I put these ways behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; Then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known And now these two remain

ian leaving behind his smosh past to rebrand the channel, that maybe his friendship with anthony meant for all of this to happen. ian finally accepted it, he can't keep crumbling over their friendship and has to move on. anthony wanting to be more without smosh, creating his own series which is very successful, but both still accepting the friendship as its once was. that their chapter together was closing, and the both boys will be okay without each other.

they got the closure they needed, they got what they needed to learn from each other. and smosh was just a chapter in their life that was long overdone.

well until.

Twin Fantasy (Those Boys)

I haven't looked at the sun for so long I'd forgotten how much it hurt to

ANTHONY CAME BACK TO THE CHANNEL, AND FORGOT HOW POWERFUL HIS FRIENDSHIP WITH IAN WAS. IT WAS SO POWERFUL IT HURTS HIM. when he came back to smosh, he knew it was meant for ian and anthony to be together. it wasn't nostalgia that kept wanting to come back, it was the fact him and his best friend created skits with each other and it made him laugh. made him SO happy, and wanted to be back with ian.

They just want to be one Walk off into the sun They're not kissing They're not fucking They're just having fun

the two boys don't need to be kissing or fucking to show their love for each other. their chemistry is so strong, their friendship can NEVER break. they're just being one. no need of defy or identity of their own. they are just ONE, they're SMOSH. like how it should always been.

They were connected At the back of the head They had a conduit Their minds were the same

they're always connect, as ian let him go, anthony came back and proved they're meant for each other.

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 12/09/2023

Blue Mareep

Season 6 Featured on: SiIvaGunner's Highest Quality Rips: Volume FF

Ripped by Heboyi

I've been really excited to get to this post, because I only just recently discovered this rip whilst listening through Volume FF for the first time (amazing album by the way, possibly one of my few favorites?). Listening to the albums is such an interesting experience because there's no comment section or ongoing event to really help categorize what the joke of a rip is - the rip entirely sells itself, and it becomes a lot easier for me to pay attention even when I'd otherwise not get the joke. Regardless, I feel like Blue Mareep would've grabbed me pretty quickly even if the YouTube upload had been my first exposure to it - despite its source material, I'm absolutely in love with the rip.

But wait, what do I mean "despite its source material"? A few of you may remember a post from a while back - Five Dreams at Night 1.16 - where I discussed the somewhat-notorious YouTube figure Dream. Dream and his gaggle of friends together formed the "Dream SMP", a loose storyline that ran through a multiplayer Minecraft-server, effectively a tabletop RPG story within Minecraft. A lot of older, grumpier and more cynical internet users like myself and many SiIvaGunner viewers (the kinds of people who still watch YouTube Poops, basically) kind of wrote the whole thing off as rather cringey, content made for a different audience than us, and mostly got exposed to Dream through his various controversies. He's a figure that's fun to make fun of, and I went into that in the above post wherin I covered him before. Though Mask's presence on the channel in Season 5, it seemed to me that SiIva's stance on Dream in general was pretty much unanimously to make fun of him.

Yet, part of what I love so much about SiIva is that its a channel housing so many different people with so many different points of view. Sure, maybe I personally don't have any investment or affection for the Dream SMP and its ongoing narrative, and it looks a little silly from my POV - but then again, so does SiIvaGunner, and the narratives running on here have genuinely brought me to tears more than once. Blue Mareep is a pretty simple rip in concept - it's a Lacunosa Town-style arrangement of Blue, a song written in tribute and in reference to the Dream SMP. It's a soothing, chill little vibe discussing the friendship between Wilbur and his pet blue sheep, "Friend", and is genuinely a very pleasant listen even completely disconnected from the Dream SMP.

What makee Blue Mareep such a good rip isn't solely due to the chill source track - its the sound of Lacunosa Town itself! The track's DS-ified acoustic guitar sound paired with the gentle piano melody is some of the most soothing, nostalgic audio to me, and it gives Blue an entirely new kind of sound - still soothing and pleasant, but now completely void of the digital Lofi sound that originally defined it. The added sounds of Mareeps, Flaaffys and Ampharos' replaving the sheep Baa's really seal the whole package - it disconnects you so far from the original song, it feels as if...you're daydreaming away, at a Pokèmon ranch, no worries in sight...

Blue Mareep sends me, so, so far away, I really can't stop listening to it. Heboyi through many of his rips has used so many strange sources that I've never even considered as having value in arranging, and produced so many bangers in the process - and I hope he keeps introducing me to more pleasing tunes like this.

[cythepoet]

To celebrate my 1 year as poet, I'll release a copy paste of my Google doc with poems. Both posted and not posted. Mostly posted already.

At the very start I started by writing poems in a doc as I was unsure of what to say, as I gained more confidence in my poems I started writing whenever I gained the motivation and posted them mostly without editing or double checking.

This has been a somewhat unbelievable journey and I can't believe it's been 1 year already.

Regardless,

Hope y'all enjoy reading/re-reading my poems.

_______________________

Light and darkness

Darkness and light

Both cut from the same fabric

Made from the same metal

Light can not exist without darkness

Darkness can not exist without light

Light shines and shows the way

Darkness blinds and binds

But does the light shine always show the right way?

But do the binds always hurt and hold in place?

Light can not always be good and holy

Darkness can not always be bad and unkept

Darkness needs to exist so light can shine

Light needs to exist so darkness can bind

Binds made by darkness can be cut

Lights shining can be blinding

No good or evil is pure

No darkness or light is pure

Pureness is subjective

So is light and darkness

Darkness and light

Light and darkness

____________________________________

Blinds and binds

Binds and holds

Holds and held

Held till her hands slipped out of his binds

Held till her eyes opened from his blinds

She ran and hid

She hid till she was sure he was gone

He wasn't gone

He hid and planned

Planned so he can blind and bind her again

His binds wrapped around her body

Burning and biting,

His blinds covered her eyes

Blinding and frightening

He had his binds wrapped around tightly so she can not escape again

His actions didn't go unnoticed

His blinds and binds were cut and broken

She was taken away by the light

His darkness was swallowed whole and hidden

____________________________________

The daughter of the night

The daughter of the light

Both danced around each other for a while

Scared to touch

And scared to die

The myth of death might lie

But the daughters both feared it's lie

It was feed into their minds form age of four

Their minds poisoned but not beyond repair

They danced and spun to the music,

Keeping their distance but not leaving

They danced till the night was over and light was coming over

The daughters didn't wanna separate from each other

But the fear to touch forced them part

Till the next year the daughter of the night sat in her room

Dreaming 'bout the light

The daughter of the light waited for the night to fall over so they can both dance and spin

By the time the year came over

The myth no longer frightened

And the lie was open

They held hands and danced together

No longer 'fraid to die

If they die then, at least they'll be together for eternity and the light will not separate them again

____________________________________

Tear me apart

Tear me till I tear up

Tear and rip me apart till porcelain is covering your wooden floors

Tear me apart

Tear me until paint is under your nails

Tear me apart till I can't be recognized or replaced

Tear me apart till tears spill out and drip down on your feet

Tear me apart

Tear me apart until I'm pretty enough to be loved by you

____________________________________

Your truth is like knife stabbing me repeatedly

Your lies are like honey dripping into my ears

But it's too sweet

It's pouring out

Making a mess of me

You cover up your lies within a plastic wrap

It pops and pours out

It's suffocating me

You're backed into a corner

You have no choice

Neither did I

Your lies covered me and tied me down

Now your truth cuts me free and apart

We fall apart like two puzzle pieces that were never made to be together

You forced us together with your honey sweet lies

You dripped honey into everyone's ears till it all flowed out

Your sweetness turned bitter

My love turned sour

____________________________________

Bittersweet taste left on my tongue

Bittersweet memories left in my mind

Bittersweet words left in my diary

The same diary you read

The same diary you opened and closed without my knowledge

The same diary you used to tie strings around me

Strings around my arms and legs

Strings around my face and hair

Strings that you pull and play with me like a puppet

Puppet that you threw away

Puppet that you used and abused

Puppet that will cut through your words

Bittersweet resentment building up in this puppet body of mine

____________________________________

Star in a starry night

Shining and guiding

Guiding the way home

A guide home isn't too bad at this road

Some toads hang out at the side of the road

Road gets covered by toads

The star guides the road toads away

The road is toads free

Road home is safe

____________________________________

Warmth covering my body

Burning my face and eyes

But pain has yet to hit

It's tingling but not hurting

It's keeping me warm when I feel so cold

This warmth needs to be guided to a new place

I may be warm outside but my insides are cold

My heart is dead and frozen solid

Guiding the warmth isn't hard

A stick will easily show it the way

Guiding warmth didn't take long

Soon I feel warmth flood my heart and soul

Just as I watch his house be covered by woman in the red dress

____________________________________

Woman in the red dress danced over the forest and the houses

Her dress slowly fading into the air and turning into grey smoke

As she danced her hair turned orange and then yellow

Her hair shortened

Turning into ash and smoke

Slowly she and her dress disappeared into the nightly forever

____________________________________

I don't miss you

I miss your nostalgia

I don't care about you

I miss caring and being cared for

I don't love you

I miss your lies

Lies that you sew into my soul

Lies that you had to tear out of my heart

Lies that opened my eyes

Lies I wish you never said to begin with.

Perhaps if I'd known your true colors I could've avoided you

You hid your colours beneath grey smoke and blue fire

Now the colour purple burns my soul and eyes

Now the taste of honey makes me sick and tired

Now I know the truth and it's sour

Sour like your rotten soul

Sour like your rotten heart

Sour like my dead love for you

____________________________________

I feel shallow

I feel hollow

I feel alone and lost

The numbness is taking over

The hole in my chest is flooding with smoke and mirrors

It's not closing yet

Just a mirror showing me back my reflection and smoke filling my body

Your words carved out my chest

Your lies hollowed me out

Now your punishment will fulfill me again

And your truth shall haunt you

____________________________________

The days are getting lonely and colourless

I'm looking forward to the next day

I'm looking forward to the gay day

The colours in the streets

The colours in the skies

We need more vibrant colours

So our lives aren't colourless and bland

Bland is the nights without stars or moon

Bland is the clouds covering up the sun

Bland is the smoke blown in our eyes

The gay is the way

____________________________________

Just admit you don't trust me

I'm tired of the games you wrap me in

Just admit you don't want me to play the role

I'm tired of the theater you build

Just admit you don't want me near

I'm tired of the family we built

Just admit I'll never get what I want,

And it's all because of you.

____________________________________

Why?

Why is life this way?

Why are humans this way?

Why do we exist?

Why is our purpose so unknown?

Why can't it make sense?

Why does life make more sense than you?

Why does my life mean nothing to you?

I thought we were friends

You switch up so quick I can't separate you from your appearance

You drive me insane

You drove me insane

You made me say things I didn't mean

You made me do things I didn't want

I need to learn to separate your lies from my truth

____________________________________

You're so innocent

So pure and beautiful

That's what they all tell you

Before they rip it out of your hands

They rip the innocence and pureness out of your hands

They said you deserved it

They say you were asking for it

You're left all alone

Violated,

Ripped apart,

Broken…

____________________________________

There's no turning back for us

There's no going back for us

The us was destroyed when trust shattered like thin glass

The us you knew was nothing but a mere fantasy of yours

I'm leaving you in past,

Nothing other than a simple memory on this life road.

My road continues, yours ends here

____________________________________

The sun may shine

The light may blur

But it won't refill my heart with joy

My memories as clear as day

My emotions dead as night

I may forgive but I won't forget

Watch your back

I may get my revenge

For your ravenous action against me

___________________________________

Bound by the night of your hands

My light wants to escape

My light is dimming but the hope isn't dying

Please let me go,

Your memories won't let me free

Your voice won't let me leave

Haven't we went through enough?

Please let me leave

Now you're the one at my feet

Your words dancing around the apology

The apology I so deserve

The apology that went unspoke

____________________________________

She's so beautiful, like an unspoken word

She's so sweet, like fresh honey

I don't wish to be her

I wish to have her

I wish to hold her hand

And pull her close

I don't wish to leave her behind

I wish to let her walk this path along with me

____________________________________

Her brown eyes stare at me like the farm house in the distance

Her brown hair smooth and curly

Her skin silky, like a fine scarf

Her lips light like a fine light

Can she be mine?

Can I be hers?

Can we be each others?

Can we be together?

Her touches like gentle kisses covering my skin

Her giggles like gentle music to my ears

Her smile like beautiful view for my eyes

Her hugs so warm and nice

____________________________________

Her summer sunset dress

Her summer sky eyes

Her summer rain scent

Her summer night hair

My autumn day eyes

My autumn sky bag

My autumn rain perfume

My autumn night chill

His winter day hat

His winter sky books

His winter snow makeup

His winter night cold

Their spring day happiness

Their spring sky hair pins

Their spring flower crown

Their spring night mystery

____________________________________

In her eyes I see the world

In her hair I see the fates

In her dress I see the stars

She's the one keeping us all covered and safe

She's the one keeping us all wrapped and trapped

She's the universe and everything around it

She's the sky, the ground, the air

She's everwhere and nowhere at the same time

She's visible and invisible all the time

She may never die

She will live forever

She's here

She's there

She's everywhere

____________________________________

I lack the communication to let them know

I lack the courage to explain my hurt

I bury my fear and hurt beneath a layer of lies

I lie and pretend i'm alright

I lack the words to explain myself

I lack the words you let them know

I can hide it

I can bury it

I can forget it

Why do I lie..

____________________________________

I can feel them bumbling up in my throat

I wanna scream them out

But I stay silent with a plaster on my mouth

I can feel my body shaking

I wanna rip it apart

I sit calm with legs and arms crossed

I can feel it crawl under my skin

I wanna get rid of it

I sit with eyes blindfolded

I wanna communicate it to them

I wanna tell them my hurt

I drown out the feeling with meaningless words

____________________________________

Online conversations

How is that a valid escalation

In any conversation?

Presume you talked this way in person,

All the looks would be on you.

I just told you to decorous

And you told me you'd assail me and deflower me

Your hands would be cuffed in minutes

And you'd be in a registry

Why is this behavior so alright online?

Why is this behavior so popular online?

Have people always been this shit

Or have we simply dehumanized?

____________________________________

Why are men like this?

Why do men prefer girls younger than them?

How long is it until men prefer girls still learning algebra?

How long is it until men prefer girls still learning to spell?

How long is it until men prefer girls still learning to speak?

How long is it until men prefer girls still sleeping in diapers?

"But not all men are like this" calls a voice from shadows

But then why aren't the abusers, the catcallers, the rapist, the assaulters the minority?

Why are "not all men" the minority?

Why are men like this?

____________________________________

Inspiration.

What is inspiration?

Is it the sky during any hour of the ceaseless cycle?

Is it the memories of your childhood?

Is it the beauty or deadly weather?

For some, yes.

For me, inspiration is pure spite to prove that I'm worth it,

Pure anger running through my veins,

Words spinning in circles in my head,

The anger I feel when I hear his voice,

The sadness that sits on the bottom of my stomach,

The heart aches that won't leave me during the darkest hour.

____________________________________

I wanna ask you again,

But I know the answer,

I wanna plead for it again,

But I know you'll hate me,

I wanna be respected,

But I know you don't care,

I wanna be like you,

But I know you won't let me,

Maybe I'm similar to you now,

Maybe our positions have switched,

But now I'm holding your leash,

And you're kissing my feet.

____________________________________

I always knew that's what they said behind my back

I always knew the words they shared about me

I refused to believe it,

Until it came back and stabbed me

I could feel the pain it inflicted in my chest

I could hear their mocking tones

Why does it still hurt if I knew that's what they said?

I never wanted to be slapped in the face with the truth.

Being blissfully ignorant was less painful than this.

Where do I go from this?

Do I seek the truth and cut them off?

Do I stay ignorant and blind?

Do I pretend like nothing happened?

Why can't I decide…

Why can't I decide…

The choice feels so obvious, yet not

____________________________________

I think I saw you across the street

Not really sure

You looked older for sure

But still the same face

I wanted to look away and forget you,

Yet I kept looking back at you,

To know if you still live in the same place,

I wasn't crazy whenever I double check

It really was you, across the street that I saw.

I couldn't help but wonder if you'd still laugh at the girl walking across the street from you,

would you still reject me if I told you?

Thinking back, it's a pointless though,

It's been years since the day,

I've forgotten all about you,

Yet your face brings it all back.

____________________________________

I don't miss the person I was

I feel bad for the people I've hurt

I feel bad for being their friend

I know it happened a while ago

But the guilt is still wrapping around my heart

I can feel it squeezing my heart

I can feel it flow in my throat

And block my lungs

I can feel the guilt making a hole in my chest

It's almost like you can see through me.

It's something burning urging me to apologize

Sometimes it's weighing me down and drowning me

And sometimes I forget how to breathe and function.

I hope, everyone who knows me,

Can hear my apologies,

From miles away,

Even when I'm done and dead.

____________________________________

I can't handle this

Please let me leave

My brain is swelling

My thoughts are rebelling

Please leave me alone

I can't handle her voice anymore

She's repeating and glitching

Like a broken record

She's screeching and screaming

My ears are bleeding

Make it stop!

Make it stop!!

Make it stop!!!

____________________________________

I pray upon your downfall

It may sound cruel

But you did this to yourself

You were mean and cruel to me

I can feel your ground shaking,

I'm the one at cause.

Your walls are crumbling,

I'm the one who's bashing them.

I pray upon your downfall

So you may never trip me again.

I hope you fall and never stop falling.

I hope you fall, see hope and then keep falling.

You did this to yourself.

Your mask has fallen and your colors exploded.

____________________________________

An eye for an eye, leave the whole world blind

But you struck first blood.

You stabbed my back with a blade as deep as the space,

I wasn't even aware of the knife for a while.

I was bleeding and trying to be kind,

But you ignored me.

You never said why until I found the knife,

I thought we were on good terms but I guess I was wrong.

I now see you with shattered red glasses.

I may try to be professional on the outside,

But inside I'm red and blue.

Not purple,

Purple reminds me of you.

____________________________________

I'm a jack off all trades

A little bit everywhere and anywhere

I can do poetry,

Painting or drawing,

Cooking or baking,

Singing or dancing,

Music or acting,

But I'm a master of none.

Nothing I do is fully mastered,

So do I even have any skills?

Something is better than nothing,

But do I even have the 'nothing'?

Where starts the something, and ends the nothing?

____________________________________

Am I being silenced?

Or am I just being frustrated nothing more is done?

I want to scream and shout my pain,

From the bottom of my lungs yell and tell.

Yet, I'm molded into this shape, of forgive and forget.

I can't forgive,

I can't forget.

The wound is still fresh and bleeding,

There's blood on your floors and you're ignoring it.

You don't care for me,

You're trying to protect the bully,

While the victim is crying and suffering.

While I'm crying and suffering.

____________________________________

Flowers blossom, in the middle of the night,

What a pity, they'll wither so soon.

Water can keep them pretty, for a while,

But nothing is endless, and nothing can prevent this.

Look at them while you can,

As beauty is temporary, but memory not.

____________________________________

Thanks for reading,

Here's to second year of my poetry journey 🥂

-Cy

[analiavs]

Harperverse: Moonlight Ride

Eden X Bailey

words: 2808

Warnings: noncon, drugging

Bailey tries to avoid his self-described mate.

Will post just the smut in a later post.

Link for people who prefer it on Ao3:

He’d been desperate and thought Eden would save him, but it had completely backfired. Or maybe he’d been saved too well. He tried to loosen the collar around his neck, listening carefully for changes in Eden’s breathing while he whittled away.

So far Eden had been the perfect gentlemen, but he couldn’t tell how long it would especially with a fuck moon tonight. And as a fox type he was sexually compatible with Eden’s rut. He absolutely couldn’t be here when it hit. Honestly this was just the mayonnaise for the knuckle sandwich life had been beating him with.

 So many people were on his shit list. He didn’t think he asked for much. He just wanted to do his job and Harper had ruined everything. The most insulting part was that it hadn’t even been a  power play on his part. The sick fuck genuinely thought he was curing people.

If his henchman hadn’t abandoned him after the first orgy he probably could have maintained the status quo. But when money’s value evaporated overnight he hadn’t had anything to keep them satisfied. Well anything he wanted to give up.

With his protection gone, his debtors felt more inclined to fight back. And even some of the townspeople tried to get some action. Brandishing his gun was usually enough, but he’d run out of bullets not too long after the fall. He couldn’t imagine what would happen if that got out.

As a result he’d been relegated to hiding in his apartment and sneaking around for scraps. He tacitly refused to participate in Briar’s new fluid based economy and had nothing he was willing to barter. He’d come to somewhat rely on Eden for meals, so he hadn’t thought it’d be a problem when he asked him to help deal with experiment 1.5. That ungrateful bastard looked like a savage minotaur, even if his bodyguards hadn’t abandoned him they probably would have been beaten by him. Eden was strong and armed, so he had a chance. 

He hadn’t expected to get kidnaped. If he’d been less picky finding Eden a spouse maybe this could have been avoided. At least Eden fed him dinner before going to bed. He heard his captor’s breathing start to change, so he quickly flopped down like he was sleeping. 

He kept his eyes closed and listened while Eden got up and stretched. He pretended to be asleep while Eden made himself breakfast. He heard his useless stomach growl, but kept feigning sleep. Eventually Eden came up and shook him. 

“Wake up, I made breakfast. Just eggs, but I’m going hunting today. We’ll eat meat tonight and bask in the moonlight.” Eden smiled at him. He reached for the plate.

“...thank you for the food, but Eden you can’t keep me here. C’mon you’ve literally chained me to-” Eden slammed his fists down onto the table making him flinch back. 

“So you’re just like the others huh? Think you're too good for me. I provide and protect, all I ask for is comfort and company! Well tonight I’ll be sure to show you you belong on my knot.” The anger radiating from him left him cowering. How many people had Eden kept like this? Suddenly his appetite had disappeared too. 

“I have your scent so if you escape I’ll just hunt you down.” Eden smiled all teeth, 

“In fact if you leave you’ll be my prey tonight. But it’ll be easier on you if you just stay in here.” Eden yanked him over, taking the collar off him. Instantly he bolted out the door. Eden laughed behind him, 

“I’ll see you tonight!” Fuck he kept running, ignoring Eden. At least he hadn’t tried to stop him. But he needed to get far away from Eden and the woods. He ran for hours back to the edge of the woods. The branches seemed to come alive tearing at his clothes. His shirt got ripped into shreds,but at least his pants were still intact. He panted, catching his breath. He glanced around making sure no one else was around before scurrying down the road.

He felt more fearful than usual. Maybe Eden or the transformation was getting to him. It didn’t matter he snuck back to the flats without any interruptions. People were likely getting ready for the fuck moon. He’d have to worry about prowlers and Eden tonight. 

He made it back to his apartment and saw that his door had been battered open. Shards of wood scattered onto the ground, he looked in and saw that what was left of his furniture was strewn everywhere. He felt numb staring at into his wrecked apartment. He could smell cum and paint too. 

He’d only been gone for a night, he couldn’t believe his eyes. He went to his wardrobe and saw that the drawers were thrown everywhere and whoever had broken in had obviously helped themselves to his clothes too. 

He jumped when he realized that his gun might have been stolen too. He went to his safe and saw that it had been bashed open too. He fell down to his knees. He could cry, his den had been destroyed now where was he supposed to hide from Eden. The upheaval had taken everything from him. He heard someone laughing behind him. He turned back to see experiment 2.5 looking down on him with her little entourage standing behind her. She forced a hug on him. He tried not to shiver and told her to fuck off. 

“Aw, daddy don’t cry I got something for you.” She sing-songed, he tried to move away when a hand rubbed one of his ears. He squeaked before telling her to fuck off again. He tried to move away from her when a hand grabbed his neck, and made him go limp. He had no idea why a hand on his neck immobilized him, he kept his face blank but inwardly he was panicking. 

“Don’t tell me what to do, let me have my fun or you won’t get your present.” She hissed into his ear. No, not again. What the fuck was wrong with his wards? He definitely hadn’t raised them to be like this.  

“I don’t want your fucking gift! Get out of my apartment and leave me alone! Stop touching me…” His voice shifted to a whine when she found a particularly sensitive spot on his ear. He went silent unwilling to give her the response that she wanted.

“Always so sensitive, don’t worry I’m not gonna collar you I’m not into gilfs. So just give in to the pleasure.” She kept petting him and eventually against his will his body began to relax. He could feel the tension leaving his body as she kept petting him.

“That’s it, a little birdy told me the woodsman got you. I figured it wouldn’t be long till people came to loot your room, so I was nice and saved your gun for you. To be fair no one else has escaped that psycho on the same day.” She cooed. He couldn’t stop the small sigh when she scratched his ears gently. Not long after something dropped on his lap pulling him out of the trance. It was his gun, he couldn’t stifle his reaction in time and grabbed it quickly sliding it into his waistband. 

“Thanks…” He might as well show his gratitude. She patted his head a couple times before going to stand next to her little friends. When had his neck been released. He ignored the heat on his face and stared at them in confusion. She giggled,

“Alright, I’m just gonna say it. We were planning on fucking on your bed so you gotta skedaddle.” She didn’t even look ashamed to say it.

“What! You insolent litte! I should punish you for this-” He tried to think of anything he could say or do to regain his power over her.

“C’mon what are you gonna do, spank me? Shoot me? With no bullets?” She laughed. 

“Run along now little foxy before I set my dogs on you.” She shooed him away. Her dogs stood behind her trying to look intimidating. They looked stupid, but he honestly didn’t have the energy to fight. He tried to ignore the humiliation of being forced out of his already ransacked apartment. Well at least he still had his gun. He would find a way to get his get back. He heard exaggerated moans starting up as he left the hallway. 

Maybe it was for the best his apartment might be the first place Eden looked. As he walked through town trying to find a good hiding spot he felt the energy start to shift. It was only about midday and the town was already starting to thrum with lust. He merely flashed his gun at anyone who tried to get handsy and they backed off. At least all the walking helped clear his head.

He’d heard the temple was taking in people resisting lust under experiment 2.0’s leadership, maybe he could manage to sneak in. Then, he’d be safe from Eden at least for the night. He made it there by midafternoon. He entered the temple, unsure what to expect. Inside there were many people praying, and angel types working around them. At least no one noticed him slip in. 

He was on edge half expecting someone to start a scene but it was peaceful. By now his exhaustion was starting to peak, so he found a hidden corner to curl up and take a nap. He woke up to 2.0 looking down on him with contempt. 

“This is a refuge for the lost, the desperate, and the fearful, what right have you to sully sacred ground?” Her angelic pose was juxtaposed by her expression. She was being careful to hide her face from her followers. Damn it, another psycho. 

“I just need a place to spend the night, I’ll leave in the morning.” He kept his face neutral. He wasn’t going to beg for her salvation or feed into her delusions of grandeur. 

“I’m sure the brothel would be happy to provide accommodations for the night. Someone like you is undeserving of the temple's light.”

“...C’mon what will your followers think if you turn me away?  I’m not one of those sex-crazed bastards, I am your caretaker. I gave you food and a roof over your head and this is how you repay me?”

“Yeah, take that tone. The Farm wants more cattle and the brothel wants more foot soldiers. They’ll give you food and shelter. Or better yet, let the woodsman catch you.” She smiled at him. 

“You’ll find no refuge here, leave now or be escorted out.” With her acting like they were having a regular conversation causing a scene would only net him more trouble.

He grit his teeth and left with as much of his pride as he could salvage. She didn’t even follow him out. When he stepped outside he gasped, it was evening. The sun was going down and soon the moon would be up. She must have known and waited to kick him out.

He was cornered, he controlled his breathing.  He hadn’t slept that peacefully since the fall, 2.5 must have let him sleep until evening. Now the town would be full of lust drunk people searching for prey.

His only hope was to make it to the lake and wash his scent off. He ran into the woods, the sun following him. He could smell the water when he heard a deep howl emanating from the woods.

Instinctively he froze, it was Eden. Without thinking he bolted off in the opposite direction of Eden’s howl. From his rudimentary understanding of courtship under the curse, the hunt was on. 

He ran in a zigzag pattern, threw himself desperately into rivers all in the hopes of getting Eden off his trail. Even as his lungs became too worn out to draw air in he ran. He was soaked and freezing but he kept running, he’d never been so desperate in his life. He cursed his wards with every fiber of his being. 

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been running when he heard branches shattering behind him. He forced all his energy into a last-ditch sprint, but Eden was faster. He heard him gaining on him and with a snarl he was tackled to the ground.

“I’ve caught you at exactly midnight that makes you my mate.” Eden growled, humping his back. He used one big hand to hold his arms behind his back. He kicked and struggled trying to break free, but Eden’s strength was overwhelming. 

“C’mon Eden please don’t!” He tried to reason with him. He’d been able to avoid being in such a position for decades and now he was trapped. He kept struggling, but Eden just held him down. 

Try as he might to resist his instincts and the moon, he felt his body beginning to yield to Eden. His struggling turned into humping and his pleas started to sound more like moans.  

“You’ve finally accepted you’re my mate…” Growled Eden nipping his neck. When he tried to keep pleading his case, his words started changing ever so slightly.  

“Knot me… knot me please.” He felt Eden taking off what was left of his pants. He breathed in. Eden’s musk was all-encompassing. Even if he tried to fight it, something inside him called him to Eden.They grinded against each other. He usually would never succumb to lust, but the moon and the pheromones were all too much. He felt Eden’s dick pressing against his hole, rubbing insistently. 

“Mine, now and forever.” Eden said, he licked his neck and thrust his dick in. He squealed from the pain. Once he was inside him, he felt Eden pull him by the hair down onto his dick. The pink light off the moon reflected down onto them.The lust inducing effect left him shaking. 

He felt Eden’s hips on his ass. His dick was so thick, he trembled. When the thrusting started he bit his lip to keep from making any noise. He tried to focus his eyes on a tree in front of him, but as Eden started finding his rhythm he started increasing the pace of his thrusts. He was practically a fleshlight as Eden jackhammered into him. Eden’s grunts were a bit of a turn on. 

He couldn’t focus. The pleasure was too much. Despite his resistance, a few moans escaped him. His vision lost focus. He gripped the dirt trying to stabilize his body and started thrusting his hips back to meet Harper’s thrusts. He would go along with it just until he could get rid of the heat in his body. Fuck them and leave them, that was no issue. He just needed to put Eden to sleep. 

It probably wouldn’t be hard. For someone with such a huge dick, Eden really had no idea how to use it. Seriously, just thrusting wildly wasn’t pleasurable. His only saving grace was that his dick was big enough to hit his prostate. He thrust back with intent, and timed squeezes with Eden’s thrusts. Instead of grunting, Eden was starting to moan now. Perfect now it was time for his secret move, 

“Mate, let me make you feel good.” He ground onto Eden’s dick like he was in a frenzy, forcing him onto his back. He turned to face Eden while he rode him. Just to keep an eye on him. He bounced up and down, watching Eden’s face contort with pleasure. Eden thought he would be the one controlled by the flesh, preposterous. He wrote his name on Eden’s dick just to see what would happen. Predictably, Eden spasmed practically screaming in pleasure. 

“Bailey ah! So good.” He didn’t say anything, just smirked and kept bouncing. From the way Eden was drooling it wouldn’t be long until he came. He tried not to laugh and ground down onto Eden’s dick. Then started bouncing again. He could feel the moonlight reflecting off his back, emboldening him. He was just starting to feel it when Eden howled and grabbed his hips. He pistoned in and out intensely before forcing him down onto his knot.

He kicked Eden reflexively from the pain but once his dick was locked in he was stuck. At least Eden fell asleep. He sighed, waiting for Eden’s knot to finally give out. It was a long hour, but he finally got loose. Eden was snoring. He ignored the cum dripping down his legs. He looked down with disdain, Eden was a stupid selfish lover. He jacked off onto Eden’s face. Once he’d covered Eden’s face with cum, he found his gun on the ground and ran off.

[harrywritingsbyme]

Right here Right Now

A/N: just a little something i wrote. idk…i just had a lil idea and i ran with it. i would’ve posted it earlier but i got hooked on doing absolutely nothing during my break so yeah. there’s a lil degradation bc why not…so mean dom/older/boyfriend harry but it’s still cute in some spots. anywaysss, i barely proofread it, ily, and this is my first fic of the new yearrr…enjoy🙃

4.2k wordsss

You and Harry’s night together was filled with good food, laughs, loving and longing stares from across the table, and sweet nothings quietly being traded back and forth between you two. It was almost as if these moments you two shared were ripped directly out of a book or a dream. The night, while being completely spontaneous, was absolutely perfect. 

And your night in particular was even more perfect because of the buzz that had taken off in your mind and body. Not only did you have a seemingly endless supply of good food, immaculate vibes, and romance. You also had a seeming endless supply of wine. Your favorite wine at that. While Harry kept his intake to a total of three sips since he’d be driving you both home, you on the other hand didn’t keep track and ended up having a grand total of two, almost three full glasses. Almost one for each course. 

Now you wouldn’t say that two almost three whole glasses is a lot for you. Nor would you consider yourself to be a lightweight. But it didn’t take long for a drink to start flowing through your body. And since it was a casual but nonetheless romantic night out where you could let your hair down more and just enjoy yourself, you became more relaxed and affectionate with Harry. 

During dinner, a simple little kiss on your hand wouldn’t suffice; you’d take it, but you wanted a kiss right on the lips. And of course Harry obliged; He always gave you what you wanted. Plus Harry was able to snag a table in the back of the restaurant, allowing you two a bit more privacy and room to just be together. Your little touchy feely antics continued through every course and all the way up until you two were ready to go. When it came time for the bill, you knew Harry had that taken care of so you decided to run to the ladies room before you two left the restaurant and headed back home. 

“So you’re just gonna leave me to foot the bill?” Harry says jokingly as you get up from the table. 

“Mhm.” You hum with a little nod and a wide tight lipped smile, discreetly tugging your dress down a bit in the process before prancing away from the table. And knowing Harry and how he would never pass up an opportunity to stare you down from behind, you move your hips a bit more than normal with each step.

When you return, the bill is all squared away and Harry is sat the table scrolling through his phone while waiting for you. When you sit back down, Harry’s attention leaves the screen in his hands and goes back to you. 

“Looked pretty focused over there.” You say, nodding down towards the phone in his hands as you pick up the glass to take one final sip of your wine.

“Yeah, I was checking out this instagram model that came across my feed.” Harry replies, looking back down in the direction of his phone that was shining back up at him, trying his best to hold back the smile and laugh that was creeping up to his mouth. He didn’t even bother too look up at you because if he did he’d break his “cover” and burst out into a fit of laughs at the scowl(your somewhat signature scowl that brought a sense of fear to whoever it was directed to, and a level sex appeal to none other than Harry) that was with out a doubt, spread across your face.

“Oh really.” You say back, completely unimpressed.

“Mhm, this is what she looks like.” Harry continues on all giddy in front of you, quickly turning the phone around to show you his screen. Before you could even see the screen your eyes widened at the fact that this man, your literal boyfriend, was showing you someone he stumbled across while you were in the restroom. At least, that’s what you thought. 

In reality, Harry turned his phone around to show you and your most recent post, causing your face to fall into a little smile. When he sees this, Harry doesn’t try and stop the laughs that he was fighting to hold back moments before from spilling out. For some reason, he just got a kick out of winding you up like this.

“That was a good one.” You say sarcastically, playfully glaring up at him before looking back down to swipe through the pictures you posted just a couple of hours ago. “Also, two things. One, your camera work is quite excellent. And two, when did you become so proficient with instagram.” You continue on, bringing your eyes back up to his while voicing the two thoughts lingering in your mind.

“Thank you very much. Even though I do have to say that it’s very easy to work the camera when there’s a stunning model like yourself in front of it.” Harry answers smoothly, sending a wink your way in the process; prompting a swarm of butterflies to attack your tummy and a wave of warmth rush up to your face. “And as far as being proficient in instagram goes, your post was just right at the top when I went in.” Harry explains with a little laugh. 

At this you two are actually ready to go. Harry is quick to stand from his seat in front of you (unknowingly giving you a little show) before coming over to your side of the table to help you up from your seat. You take one more swig from your glass, making it your official last glass, before standing up from your chair. A small kiss is planted right on your cheek and Harry’s hand moves to the small of your back, ushering the two of you out of the restaurant.

As soon as you step foot out of the doors you’re met with a gust of cool air, goosebumps immediately covering your skin. After Harry hands the valet ticket over, you immediately wrap yourself around Harry inside his jacket causing him to wrap his arms around your frame and a little laugh fall from his lips. You would’ve worn a jacket, but you didn’t want anything conflicting with your outfit. But it’s okay though because you had a perfectly good boyfriend to keep you warm. As you two waited for the car to be pulled around you, you had your head tilted back with your lips continuously puckered, silently asking for a continuous flow of kisses to your lips. And one by one, Harry presses small kisses into your lips. That is, until you were whining for a real one. In no time, Harry’s lips are pressed against yours and guiding you both into a much slower and far more intense kiss. Your lips were parted, following every movement his made and allowing his tongue to seamlessly glide against yours. Your body instantly warmed at the sensation and went somewhat limp in his arms. You let yourself fall completely into his control. Neither of you were thinking about who saw or how long the kiss was. Both of your minds were completely blank, too caught up in the easy going and relaxed nature of it all to even think about anything else. 

Eventually though, Harry softly pulls away from your lips, allowing for you both to steady yourselves.

“If you wanted me to shove my tongue down your throat all you had to do was ask.” Harry smartly says through a slight pant, a smirk taking over his face at the way you completely melted against him.  

“I’m a lady.” You simply reply, turning your nose up at him and turning your head away as you try to steady your breath as wel.. 

“I’m not so sure about that one doll.” Harry comes back at you with his brows raised at your statement. Just as he says this, as if the universe was on your side for the night, the valet is finally pulling up with the car. Not to say that you were really rushing him since you and Harry’s mini makeout session was quite great. 

But even though that may have been the case, when you see the car in your line of view, you scoff in Harry’s direction before lightly pushing at his chest and removing yourself from his light grip on you. Without saying a single word to him, you make your way over to the car. Opening the passenger side door and getting in by yourself. 

“That’s my job.” Harry pouts, following suit and coming over to the car. He wanted to at least close the door for you. But before he could even do that, still silent, you close the door yourself with a little glare in his direction.

Harry makes his way around to the drivers side, quickly hopping in and starting the car as to not hold anyone else up. The two of you now on your journey back home. It was silent on both ends, the only noise coming from the near quiet hum of the engine and the radio faintly playing in the background. The both of you content with the silence and simply being in each others presence. 

When the car comes to a stop at the red light you quit playing with the little bracelet that was wrapped around your wrist and you look for something else to mess with. Your eyes almost immediately fall on Harry’s ringed hand that was resting on the gearshift. Without any hesitation whatsoever, you pull his hand down to your lap, resting it on your exposed thigh. You were more than welcoming to his warm and soft hand to your skin. So much so that the contact alone caused the area between your legs to flutter a bit.  

“I take it you’re not mad at me anymore?” Harry chuckles, resting his head back against the headrest and turning in your direction. 

“Was never mad at you. I just like to throw a fit sometimes.” You hum, a proud little smirk rising to your face at the thought of your little fits. 

“I am well aware of that.” Harry replies, bringing the hand you pulled into your lap up to cup your jaw before bringing his face in closer to yours. “I am very well aware of your need to be a little brat.” Harry whispers, prior to enveloping your lips into a singular wet wet kiss that had you melting and coming in for more. Unfortunately for you though, after what seems like forever the light turns green prompting Harry to move back over to his side, returning his hand back to your lap in the process. Only this time, you’d have to work around his newfound grip on your thigh, his fingers curled inwards this time. If you weren’t buzzed before you were definitely buzzed now.

The buzz you had from dinner was far from being gone. In fact, it was only heightened by you and Harry’s banter and the delectable kisses you two shared. On top of the fact that you wanted Harry even more, your need (more like want) to be a brat was only heightened. With that being said, you began to tease Harry a bit. That probably wasn’t the best idea since he was driving but you enjoyed the thrill that came along with it so you kept going anyways. 

Not only did you pull his hand higher up your dress, that was a given. But you also began to slide your hand up his thigh in an effort to reach the no doubt semi hard bulge in his pants. To which he’d let go of your thigh to place your hand back over into your lap before bringing his back. You two did this a couple times, turning it into a little back and forth game between you two. Sometimes you’d get even closer than before, and other times Harry’d move quicker in putting your hand back. You even tried trapping his hand between your thighs while your hand made its way up. But once again, some way some how you’d be stopped in your tracks. Even though you had to work a little bit for what you wanted, you weren’t planning on letting up. In fact, seeing him trying to resist you only made you want him even more. 

And because you wanted him even more now, you figured you’d try one more thing that would almost guarantee you getting what you wanted. While you were impressed by the self-control he had, you still wanted him to cave in to your advances. So to make that happen, you unbuckle your seatbelt and you move your body over in his direction. You ultimately have your chest pressed against his arm, your lips at his ear, and your hand creeping into his lap. Harry had no choice but to cave now. 

“Stop fighting me baby, let’s just have some fun.” You mewl into his ear as your hand begins to squeeze at his growing bulge. You then plant the tiniest kiss to the area right below his ear. Harry fought hard to not pay you any mind and focus solely on the road ahead. But that seemed to be a quite futile effort. Especially when you started to undo his pants. You were quick with your work on the button and zipper, but not in a rush since you already knew that you had him exactly where you wanted him. 

You could already hear his quickened breaths with every move you made, but they were heightened even more when you wrapped your warm hand around his now solid shaft and freed him from the confines of his pants. But you didn’t stop there. You give him a couple of tugs before removing yourself from him entirely. Removing your hand from around his cock and moving your body out from against his arm. You then proceed to position yourself in a way that would have you face level with his cock. And without a second thought you bring your mouth in to wrap around his pretty pink head. 

Harry fought to hold back the moan that was on the tip of his tongue. Your warm mouth felt so good around him and he wanted so badly push your head down to take him further down your throat. But he knew that if he did, he wouldn’t be living to enjoy the pleasure from it. 

Even though you two were less than fifteen or so minuets away from home Harry had to pull over to the side of the road. Since you had no plans of waiting until you got home, he wasn’t going to bother trying to contain and control himself until then either. Harry swiftly puts the car in park and undoes his seatbelt before turning the car off. The two of you were in complete darkness and silence. The only light coming from the dim light pole further ahead and the only noise coming from you sucking at his cock.

Harry brings a hand down to wrap around your throat, slightly choking you to force your mouth off of him. Your lips are all glossy and you’re a little bit out of breath beside him. Neither of you say a word to each other. Instead, you both are watching each other’s movements. You move back into your seat the proper way, and Harry is carefully redoing his pants back to the way they were when you two first got into the car. Once he’s done, Harry opens the drivers side door, prompting you to mimic his actions on your side.

“Don’t you go anywhere.” Harry sternly commands, stopping you right in your tracks. You were itching for something, absolutely anything at this point. Your panties were so soaked at this point and you couldn’t go without something. You watch as he hops out of the car, making sure to pull his seat up as much as possible before immediately returning in the backseat. 

“Since you wanted to try and kill us, you can get us both off.” Harry smartly says, shrugging off his jacket before beckoning you over with two fingers. 

In an instant you’re kicking off your shoes and crawling into the backseat. It was pretty spacious back there so you weren’t really concerned with being able to move around. Once you’re back there you immediately straddle Harry’s lap, wasting zero time in smearing your lips against his in a sloppy kiss. Your tongues are moving in and out of each other’s mouths, you’re grinding down into Harry’s very pronounced bulge, and Harry is tugging your dress up to your waist to expose your lower half. His hands immediately go for your ass, his large hands trying to grip onto as much as possible, and his fingers curling inward before pulling your ass apart. This gave him more control over your movements in his lap. When he starts to move you up and down, simulating how you’d ride him, your mouth detaches from his as you let out a string of moans from how good it felt to roughly collide with the bump in his pants.

“Want you inside.” You whine, dropping your hands from his shoulders to his waist to pull his cock back out. You pop the button and tug the zipper down before pushing your hand inside and pulling his swollen cock out. To help you out a little Harry lifts his hips a bit to pull his pants down a little more. Regaining some control in that moment, you keep your hand wrapped around his shaft and you sink back down onto him. Your panties were still on meaning that all you had was the head of his cock nudging at your clothed entrance. And you kind of liked the little tease that came along with it. You were so close but so far away. “Can you pull ‘em over daddy?” You whisper, as you lightly bounce on him, wanting to feel his swollen head press up against your sticky and covered entrance. 

With no hesitation whatsoever, Harry hooks his finger into the thin strip of fabric in between your legs and pulls it over to the side allowing you to instantly sink down onto his cock. As you sank down onto him, allowing his cock to invade your walls, you dug your nails into his arms through his shirt. Your head was tilted all the way back and your lips were parted, allowing for your moans to freely fall from your lips. The same could be said for Harry. His head was pressed tightly against the headrest as moans and a string of curses left his mouth. He too being unable to hold back. 

Once you’ve taken all of him, you waste no time thrashing yourself up and down on his dick. Both you and Harry were uncontrollably moaning out to each other as you continuously rose and fell in his lap. Every time you fell back onto him you could feel him push deeper into you, only making you want to sink down harder and faster the next time. While you skillfully work his cock, Harry brings his attention to your cleavage. The top four buttons of your dress were already undone exposing a little bit of your cleavage already, but of course, he wanted more. Harry undoes a couple more buttons before pushing the satin material down from your shoulders to expose your chest to him. Without a second thought, Harry pulls you in closer to him and wraps is mouth around one of your breasts, fondling the other in his free hand. When he does this, your moans only intensify. And so does the tingling sensation in your clit. So much so that you start to swivel your hips around in his lap, making sure to dig your clit down against him to create some much needed friction. 

Meanwhile, Harry had his lips pursed around your other very pebbled nipple swirling his tongue around before lightly nipping you, causing a little squeal to leave your mouth. You were feeling so good and based off of the way Harry moaned against you, he too felt beyond good. Your walls were so warm and wet and sticky for him that it was nearly impossible for him not to be in complete bliss. You were so wet that he could feel your juices start to trickle down 

“Getting what you wanted doll?” Harry pants, moving his mouth away from your chest and bringing a hand up to your throat. 

“And more!” You desperately moan, continuing to move on his cock. 

“Good, could’ve swerved into the other lane with the way you were mouthing at me baby.” Harry sighs, tightening his grip on your throat as you keep on thrashing around and digging your clit into him. 

“M’sorry daddy! Just wanted you so much.” You cry out to him through his tight grip and your moans. 

“S’okay doll.” harry hums, using his other hand to pinch your clit. “You may not be the brightest but at least you’re pretty little slut with a perfect little pussy between your legs.” Harry continues on, this time shoving his hips up to meet yours. When he does this, your cries get louder and your hips begin to move faster. You were throwing yourself back and forth on his dick while also pushing against Harry’s hand since he still had your clit pinched between his fingers. While you’re doing all of that, harry is continuing to thrust his hip up to meet yours, making each thrust that much harder.  

As you two continue in your fight for dominance below the waist, you decide to bring your hands down from Harry’s hair to playfully wrap them around his neck, attempting to choke him a little the way he was doing you. When you do this, Harry can’t help but let out chuckle. 

“You really think you can choke me?” Harry says, locking eyes with you.

“Mhm” You utter through shaky breaths from your pleasure, throwing the ball back into his court. Your eyes the then divert from his, the pleasure becoming even more intense by the second. 

And without a second thought, or a second to spare, Harry tightens his grip on your throat. Forcing your eyes to flutter and causing your hands to immediately fall from around his neck. When he sees this, a small smirk rises to his face before substantially loosening his grip on you, allowing you to catch your breath. 

“That’s what I thought.” Harry confidently hums before resting his head back and enjoying your sweet pussy moving back and forth on his dick. 

But while you’re giving every drop of energy you have, Harry feels like you’re not doing enough. So to push you both further along and right to an orgasm, he decides to take charge. In what seems like the blink of an eye, Harry has you on your back against the seat with him towering over your body, not once pulling out of you. And before you can even process the position change, you’re back to being ravished. Only this time it’s Harry doing all of the work and it’s like he’s going it at lightening speed. He’s pushed your legs up so that they’re over the backs of the seats on either side of you and he’s just slamming his dick into you over and over again. And it felt so good. He was hitting all the right spots and he wouldn’t let up. On and on he kept going, sending you both into downward spirals towards your releases. 

What pushed you further along though is what he was doing to your clit. Along with circling his fingers around the sensitive bundle of nerves, Harry was also leaving little slaps to your clit, sending jolt after jolt through your body. With each swat you contracted around him and you’d let out a little whimper from how much more sensitive you were becoming. 

“This little pussy of yours seems to be closing up on me sweets.” Harry grunts, continuing to thrust into you despite you clenching up around him. “Wanna cum f’me?” He asks, knowing your release is getting closer and closer. 

“So bad!” You whine. As you say this, Harry starts circling and swatting at your clit even more. Your hips began to lift up from the seat because of how sensitive you were and how much closer you were to your release. “M’gonna-“ you pant, and before you could even finish the thought, you were already letting go. Your release flooding your body, a complete rush of pleasure taking over.

As you were floating through your release, Harry was on the cusp of joining you. His thrusts became labored and messy as he got closer. And it was almost as if your walls pulled the release right out of him. The way they convulsed around his cock felt like they were milking him for everything he had. And in no time, Harry too was soaring through his release. 

Eventually you two made it back home. It would’ve been sooner but you just had have him right then and there.

Masterlist

[azazraelz]

Lucky Number Seven

Wooo first post! Anyways, I couldn’t find any fan fiction of Ghost x male reader that appealed to what I wanted and were long enough, so I’m making my own. Your name that your character goes by at first is Angel, you will find out why later in the story. This will be an ongoing fic so I’ll update as often as I can. This is an informational post as well as the start to the story. You join task force 141 at the beginning of the campaign. You are a special operations soldier from the marines, trained in hand to hand combat as a teen. This isn’t going to follow the story of the campaign though, rather some side missions and stories that aren’t in the game. People just call you Seven (that’s your code name). Every chapter will have a trigger warning pertaining to what shows, whether it be violence, cursing, anything along those lines. Darker topics will be in red. This is for male/masc readers only so please so she/her or she/theys interact with this. So anyways, on with the fic!!

TW: death, cursing, somewhat extreme(?) violence, suicide (not super detailed but still there)

Part 1

Always simple, stupid, too naive, that’s what they always said. My lack of street smarts always causes trouble for my adoptive family, yet they still love me. Though I don’t think this time they’re going to forgive my mistakes. I should have known to stay away from those men, the biggest gang in my small town of mostly Hispanic families, but I didn’t. I couldn’t tell! They were so kind, took me in and said they would protect me, for a cost. I said I couldn’t pay it and thanked them for the offer. They didn’t take it lightly.

The blood, there was so much blood. I never knew how much of it there was in his body. I didn’t realize how fast it flows, how hard it is to stop it once it starts to come out of places it shouldn’t. When he told me to come to his side, I didn’t know that would be where he says his last words. My brother, my favorite person, he died in my arms while telling ME everything is ok. I couldn’t do anything to stop it, the gunfire wouldn’t cease and I had no escape. I tried pulling him to safety before he passed, but was yanked away from him before I could start dragging him. The military. I screamed, cried, tried to pull away, anything to get back to my brothers body, I couldn’t just leave him there. Well they had other plans.

When I was finally safe, I couldn’t bring myself to return to my family. So I ran away. Spent my days hiding and keeping active, only traveling at night. Something changed in me that night, for the better. I became wiser, grew the fuck up and acted my age instead of the sheltered child I was. I turned to parties for entertainment and social time during the night, and eventually found an off the books job at the ripe age of 17. Then that’s when I met him, a marines recruiter. He told me to come to him when I’m 18 if I’m interested in joining, and that’s exactly what I did. My name is Angel, no longer is it y/n. I don my mask to hide my identity, and I put up my walls. Cliche? Maybe, but I refuse to let myself get close to anyone, because eventually they will die, and they will not be my problem.

“Angel…Soap, keep your head in the game, this is a capture or kill. We need Almagro alive for questioning but his gang will do anything for him, they will aim to kill. You have kill rights if need be, but avoid it if possible, now move.” Ghost’s commanding voice rips through the silence of the aircraft carrying the three men towards their destination, only stopping to let them out before taking off. The cover of night and the fog keep the aircraft out of sight, for now, but there’s no telling if that will be the case if they need air support. Angel follows behind Soap and Ghost, watching behind them through the thick fog to make sure no one sneaks up on them, only turning his attention away when his shoulder is grabbed by Soap.

“Be careful, these guys don’t mess around.” His thick accent making him slightly grin under his mask. Angel has been with task force 141 for about a month now and has gotten pretty close with Soap and Price, he even started getting to know Alejandro, bonding over their common knowledge of Spanish. The sound of the door creaking open pulls him away from his thoughts and he pulls his gun back up, being the first one to enter the building. It’s a warehouse but it feels like a maze with how much stuff it has in it.

“Take a look at this, drugs, guns, and money.” Angel points into a small room while whispering. He’s noticing everything is quiet, too quiet. That’s when he finds it. A room with four chairs in a circle facing each other, dripping with coagulated blood. The smell of iron is so strong it stings his eyes. He walks further into the dark room, his boots hitting against something soft on the floor, and when he looks down, his expression softens for only a moment. A body with a piece of paper on it. He looks back to see if Soap or Ghost are there before picking up the note.

“It’s all in Chinese, I don’t speak-“ A sharp pain in his spine causing Angel to let out a cry of pain before he’s yanked by his hair and tossed to the ground. He was kicked in the back by someone much stronger than he. He tries to shoot but the weapon is pulled out of his hands, luckily he took Ghost’s advice and carries multiple knives on him. The assailant gets on top of him, reaching for his throat, but Angel is faster. He grabs a knife and stabs it through the man’s hand before trying to shove him off, the man wailing in pain before walloping punch after punch onto Angel. He does his best to block them but a few connect with his face and ribs. An abrupt searing pain in his upper arm causes him to let out his own scream of pain which finally alerts his teammates. Ghost and Soap rush into the room, Ghost taking the man out with a M9 pistol before the two approach Angel who has sat up, holding his hand to the knife sticking out of his upper arm.

“It’s fine, it’s fine. Let’s just check who that was and get out of here.” Angel says before yanking the knife out to the protests of his two teammates. Soap seems concerned but listens, checking out who the attacker was. Not Almagro. While Soap and Ghost discuss further plans, Angel wraps the wound up with a bandana he had in his pocket before standing up, stumbling. His vision fades out but he doesn’t collapse, he stays standing. Shaking it off, Angel walks with the two, scouring each room until they find who they were searching for, taking him into custody and escorting him back to the plane that brought them here. It’s still awfully quiet, but they aren’t going to complain if things are going right. Angel slowly trudges along, slowly falling behind the two. He’s lost a lot of blood already and is turning pale, but he continues on until they get back. Once they’re in the plane, he sits down and immediately loses consciousness, only rousing to the sound of the plane landing. Surprisingly, Ghost helps Angel up and brings him to the medic, but he doesn’t leave right away. Ghost stays in the doorway, watching, waiting, making sure everything goes right and only leaving when forcibly removed. Angel was too hopped up on painkillers to even notice the worried look in Ghosts eyes as he walked away.

[jeyramarie]

Monaco- Tom Holland x Reader

summary: you sort of crash the boys’ trip.

a/n: i got inspo after the pics were posted, i hope this is somewhat good, idk😂 happy reading everyone 🦋

You had never gone to Monaco before which made you very excited when your boyfriend had invited you. It was supposed to be a boys day but you had just got to London a few days from being back home and he wanted to spend every second he could with you. Harrison and Tuwaine were going too since the original plan was a guys trip.

You were all going to the F1 race which started on Saturday. Tom was with the Red Bull team which meant you were gonna get every VIP pass that ever existed. You all arrived on Friday which gave you a whole day to sleep. When you arrived at the hotel the first thing Tom did was flop on the bed.

“Ugh, i’m so tired.” he mumbled against the bed sheets as you chuckled and put the suitcases in a corner.

“I know, that flight was killer.” you groaned as you sat down at the cloud like mattress making you sight in relief. You closed your eyes for a bit as you heard ruffling in the sheets and the bed sinking next to you. When you opened your eyes you saw Tom looking at you with a cute smile, wanting to kiss you. So you placed your hand on his right cheek and gave him a soft kiss. 

“We should get some sleep.” 

“Oh yes we do, but you have to tell the boys. So they don’t walk in or anything.” 

“Right.. I’ll be right back.” Tom groaned as he left the bed and walked next door to see the boys. As he left you got up and got into your pajamas, took you makeup off and went under the sheets. While you where tying your hair Tom walked in and took off his shoes giving you a smile.

“All done, baby. Let’s go to bed.” he said and quickly got ready, then getting into bed with you as he quickly pulled you in for you he’d to rest on his chest. You both drifted off quickly feeling exhausted from the plane ride.

The morning came around rather quickly with you waking up first as usual. You expected to see Tom sound asleep but instead was met with an empty bed. You started to look around and were about to shout his name when he walked around the corner with breakfast.

“Morning, love.”

“Hi, you woke up early.” you chuckled and smiled as he walked closer to you. He put the breakfast at the foot of the bed and jogged to your side immediately putting his hands on your cheeks, pulling you into a sweet kiss. His lips moved softly against yours as you ran your finger tips down his abs.

“You ready for today?” he said getting into bed while eating fruit.

“I am, i’m just not sure what to wear.”

“Well leave the prettiest thing for tonight cause we’re all going to a fancy dinner.” you nodded and continued to eat talking about the day’s plan. Tom got up and got ready first with a pink t-shirt he bought with you, some jeans and random sneakers. You couldn’t stop staring at him cause even in simple clothing he looked hot. You settled for a tight crop tshirt and some baggy ripped jeans with your usual jewelry.

You walked out of the hotel hand in hand with Tom not feeling the need to hide your relationship since no one knew he was in Monaco that weekend. The car ride was pretty short making you grateful that you didn’t have to stay in a car for long. When you all got there, there were people waiting for all of you with VIP passes and wristbands.

The crew guided all of you to the main race track which consisted of walking in front of everyone. You saw so many people that you were gonna release your hand from Tom’s. You don’t know how but he knew you were gonna attempt to do it which made his grip tighter. He looked back at you and smiled while nodding giving you a reassurance. The walk to your box felt long as you saw everyone staring and photographing you. You all finally made it to the VIP room. It had drinks, snacks and a few people chatting over champagne on the sofas.

“Do you want anything, baby?” Tom asked breaking you from your trance.

“No, i’m okay.” you smiled as Harrison and Tuwaine called you both to go look over the railing down at the race.

“Did you see everyone with their phones?” Tuwaine asked being discreet, not wanting other people to hear.

“Yeah i saw them, this is gonna blow up any second.” Harrison said adjusting his watch while look back and forth between you and Tom.

“That’s fine, i don’t care anyway.” Tom said running a hand through his hair while letting go of your hand, leaning against the railing. The boys stared at you and gave you a sympathetic smile as they walked away to get some drinks. You fidgeted with your fingers as you walked towards him. You stood next to him as you rubbed one hand on his bicep making him relax.

“Are you okay? You seemed a bit annoyed back there.” you said softly looking at him waiting for him to make eye contact.

“Just frustrating, you know? We can’t go anywhere without being worried about what people may think if they see us... I’m tired of that.”

“Well we don’t have to hide anymore. You can show me off as much as you want.” you smiled as your hand ran through the hair at the back of his neck. He turned his head and smiled standing up straight pulling you towards him by your waist.

“So i can kiss you in public now?” he asked in a sexy voice making you smirk.

“Yes, you can.” and with that he leaned into a sweet kiss making you place your hands on his jaw. When you parted he chuckled and pecked your forehead turning back to the race.

“Okay guys, ew.” Tuwaine said as he walked closer to the couple. You all laughed and Tom put his arm over your shoulder. He never let go of you for the rest of the race. You all stayed in the box the whole time only leaving it to look around. Tuwaine had scheduled a boat ride for all of you after the race was over. You all walked to the docks being photographed as you made your way to the boat. Tom gripped your hand tighter as the camera’s clicked.

The ride was smooth and pleasant. Filled with jokes and business talk, coming from Tom of course. Harrison and Tuwaine took many pictures for the gram while Tom admired you the whole time. When you were making your way back, the sun was starting to set. Which meant that you had to go back to the hotel to get ready for dinner. You settled for a long summer dress with some wedge heels and your handbag.

When you walked out, putting everything in your purse, your perfume filled the room making Tom look up from his phone. He stared in awe as you stopped walking to close your purse.

“Okay, boys we ready?” you asked and lifted your head to see Tuwaine and Harrison on the sofa and Tom standing up to go to you.

“We’re ready, let’s go.” Harrison said as he stood up and walked out of the room followed by Tuwaine. Tom pulled you towards him by your waist and kissed you softly as your arms went over his shoulders to pull him closer.

“Mmm, you look so good.”

“I do?”

“Yes, you do. We’re gonna have fun when we get back.” he whispered into your ear and walked away leaving you in shock. You walked out of the room and met the guys at the elevator. The ride to the restaurant was filled with sexual tension between you and Tom. You crossed your legs and he immediately put his hand on it to grab and rub and touch. No one commented on it, which was surprising to you.

The place was fancy and decorated with fairy lights which you absolutely loved. You walked hand in hand with Tom as he waved at everyone who recognized him. Suddenly, he pulled out his phone and recorded a very funny story for his instagram. The dinner went smoothly with Tom’s hand never leaving your leg. Tension growing and growing as his hand squeeze your thigh from time to time.

A few hours later, you were all back at the hotel room. You took of your heels letting out a breath of relief as Tom took off his long sleeve turtleneck sweater. You stood up and started taking off your dress when you felt a hot breath hitting your neck. His calloused hands going over your waist to pull you closer.

“What are you doing?” you asked as you turned your head to look at Tom.

“I told you we were gonna have fun.” he mumbled into your shoulder. You turned to him in his arms and kissed him as his hand went to the back of your dress, pulling down the zipper slowly. The kiss turned animalistic as each of your hands explored each other’s bodies. Making that night incredible fun.

[americxn]

Good Boy (Sub!Colin Zabel x Fem!Reader)

requests: 

Could you write sub Colin?? Please??

i think you should write a subby!colin because he would love to be made to beg for his girl

this is short and pretty messy because I’m very tired but I really wanted to post tonight so here it is <3 I’ll probably be writing more sub colin fics because this one isn’t too intense!

wordcount: 2k warnings: NSFW (minors dni), oral, cunnilingus, masturbation, swearing

taglist: @kitwalker02 @forevercountess @kitwalkerangel @milly-louise @thecountessesglove @undeadcortez @kitwalker64 @samsassinparvismagna @xmaximoffic @divineruler @tatesweaterweather @evanmybeloved @ikkleroniekins @ananad1 @shlutnutt @sanni333 @mossybank @tatesimper @sallyscigarettes @copy-of-a-cheeto @whiiiiplaaaaash @colinsbagel @nerdydoesstuff (can’t tag @three-eyed-snail @tatelangdonsupremecist @fictional-men-that-i-stan) (dm to be added or removed <3)

Colin knelt before you beside your shared bed, his eyes wide as he gazed up at you through thick lashes, one of your legs hooked over his shoulder and both of your clothes discarded in messy piles a few feet away. He trailed a hand up the back of your knee to your upper thigh, his fingers closing around the skin in a tight grip as you ran your hand up the back of his neck to the crown of his head, weaving your fingertips into the hair and forcing his head back with a harsh tug. He swallowed, your eyes following the movement of his throat and lips curving into a smirk as even more wetness gathered between the apex of your thighs. 

“Tell me what you want.” You crooned quietly down at him, yanking his head back even further and watching as his eyes flicked from your face to your dripping cunt mere inches in front of his nose, the smell of your arousal doing unspeakable things to his insides. “I want to taste you.” He groaned, the hand he had braced on the back of your thigh tightening its grip. Your smirk only grew as you used the leverage you had on his hair to bring his face closer to your awaiting cunt, watching as his lips parted and his tongue met the air, reaching for your wetness. You forced his head back, taking pleasure in the small groan that broke free from his throat at your denial. You repeated your action, bringing his face closer to you once more but this time directing his mouth up to your exposed mons and watching as he leaned closer of his own accord to lick a hot stripe up the skin before pressing his lips amidst the wet trail in a lingering kiss. Your cunt throbbed at the sight and your patience shattered, leading you to push his head back down again and giving him the verbal prompt of “then taste me”. 

Your head fell back at the first stroke of his tongue through your wetness, the touch to your swollen folds perfectly soft yet persistent. He licked tentatively up and down your labia, his tongue lingering over your entrance in a ghost’s touch. He moaned softly against you when your fingers tightened their grip in his hair, the sound rumbling through your sex and obeying your silent order, licking up to your clit and sucking it into his mouth. You shuddered, the sudden pleasure that his ministrations instilled into you making your thighs quiver briefly before they stilled, relaxing under the sudden attention of his mouth. You loosened your grip on his hair, running the tips of your fingers up and down the back of his head in encouragement; you watched as goosebumps formed along his skin at your pleasant touch, rising onto his shoulders and spilling down the planes of his bare back. You chased after them with the tips of your fingers, raking them down his shoulder blades with enough pressure to leave red marks in the wake of your nails.

Your eyes drifted closed, all of your focus narrowing in on the tongue and lips paying close attention to your pleasure before tangling your fingers into Colin’s short locks once more and pulling, forcing his mouth to disconnect from your clit. He gazed up at you, eyes glazed with arousal, chin and lips gleaming with your juices in the dim light of the bedroom. Leaning down, you captured his lips with your own, groaning at the taste of yourself of his tongue as he compliantly opened for you, whimpering slightly as you forced his head even further back with a firm yank to his hair. Disconnecting your lips from his, you straightened once more, wordlessing pulling his face back to your wetness, much to Colin’s delight, who resumed his feasting, starving to draw as much pleasure from you as possible. “Such a good boy for me.” You crooned with a shiver of pleasure, savouring the breathy groan of excitement that your words pulled from your boyfriend between your legs who began to lap up your liquid arousal with even more fervour. 

Glancing down, you cocked your head to the side slightly, peering around his bent, kneeling form and settling your gaze upon the erection standing proud at the apex of his thighs, the head stained an angry red as it was forced to wait for its own pleasure. “Colin,” you began, tone wavering as he drew a line from your clit to your opening with his tongue and idly circling your entrance. “I want you to get yourself off.” You insisted, tugging on his roots in emphasis. “I want to watch you fuck yourself with your hand whilst eating my cunt.” He moaned onto you in agreement, not hesitating to reach for his erect cock and immediately fisting it in his grip, jerking himself off steadily. An immediate wave of searing pleasure rolled through you at the sight, Colin’s tongue finally prying open your entrance and delving inside only exacerbating the intense sensation. He whined into you, his grip on his cock tightening as your inner walls clenched around his tongue. He held it within you for several more moments, allowing you to savour the feeling of having something within your wetness before withdrawing it and running it back through your folds to your sweet spot, tracing his tongue lightly across its surface in time to the furious journeys his palm made up and down his length. 

Your knee buckled slightly under the weight of the pleasure Colin was abundantly providing you, his grip on the back of your thigh tightening to keep you upright. You released a shuddering exhale, tipping back your head as the familiar glow of pleasure began to form in your gut, each stroke of Colin’s tongue against your heat ripping away a layer of ecstasy, the budding orgasm hidden at its centre his goal. He moaned, your own blissful groan blending with his and floating up into the air. The inner walls of your cunt clenched around nothing but you weren’t in a generous enough mood to grant Colin the pleasure of fucking you and so you forced your eyes to open, glancing down at where he was desperately fucking his hand, shifting on his knees and whimpering into you as his release neared.

“Stop.” You ordered, watching as Colin paused his movements, his tongue stilling on your clit before he forced his fingers to unwrap from his length, his hand falling away from his cock. “I cum first.” You insisted bluntly, the words somewhat lost to the breathiness of your tone as Colin’s tongue resumed its thorough ministrations through his whine of frustration. “Put your hands behind your back.” You demanded gently, running your fingertips across his scalp as he resumed fucking you with his tongue, shifting on his knees to find a comfortable balance before crossing his arms behind him. You cooed a gentle praise down at him before giving yourself over to the sensation of Colin’s tongue lapping and swirling about your clit, your eyes shuttering and a low groan emanating from the back of your throat. You pushed your hips into his mouth, urging him on as your muscles tensed, pleasurable tension growing and growing before its dam was shattered by Colin’s tongue.

You came with a shuddering groan, gripping onto Colin’s hair to ground yourself as your nerves lit up, passing each atom of pleasure through the entirety of your body in a wave of heat, your eyes rolling into the back of your head. Colin licked you eagerly through your orgasm, urging your release to rack your body with more strength, ensuring that every jolt of pleasure was drawn from you before sitting back, gazing up at your through arousal-lidded eyes, your cum gleaming on his lips and chin.

You lifted your head, gazing down at him with a satisfied smile and unhooking your leg from his shoulder. Colin swallowed, never taking his eyes from yours as you knelt before him. Knee to knee, he didn’t dare bring his hands out from behind his back, barely breathing as you reached to run the pad of your thumb along his puffy lower lip, gathering up the sheen of wetness there and bringing it to your own lips, your eyes fluttering closed as you tasted the sweet musk of yourself. Moving your thumb back to his face, you collected more of the cum gathered in the crease of his chin beneath his lower lip and moved it back to his lips. They parted compliantly, allowing you to push your thumb into the warmth of his mouth, his tongue swirling around the pad of your thumb to collect your taste with a contented groan. 

Withdrawing your digit from his mouth, you glanced down at his aching cock, forgotten during the throes of your own pleasure. Colin’s eyes became alight with excitement as you finally deigned to acknowledge his throbbing length, straining to come into contact with anything that would help get him off. “What do you want?” You murmured, sitting back on your heels and watching in satisfaction as Colin stumbled over his desperation fuelled words. “I want t-to cum, please.” The temptation to leave him kneeling on the floor with his hands rendered useless tucked away behind his back was so very strong. But since he had done such a good job of pleasing you…

You told him as such, watching as a small smile curved the corners of his lips at the knowledge that he had pleasured you so thoroughly. “I want to watch.” You finished, reaching to pull at one of his arms, encouraging Colin to remove it from its hiding place and wrap his hand around his cock once more. He immediately began to shamelessly pump himself, his head falling back and his lips parting. “No.” You scolded. “Look at me.” His head jerked to look at you, his eyes opening and finding yours already boring into his own. His cock twitched beneath his hand as he palmed his tip briefly before running his hand in a tight fist down the length of his shaft. Your eyes flicked to the cock connected to his hand, a small bead of pearly precum leaking from the engorged head and running down the slope of angry red skin before it was collected by Colin’s palm and smeared down the length of his shaft. You allowed Colin to repeat this action several times, his movements getting sloppier and his fingers tightening almost imperceptibly around himself. His hips bucked slightly into his fist of their own accord, notifying you that he was dangerously close. 

“Cum, baby.” You prompted, watching in delight as Colin’s eyes immediately rolled, the whites of his eyes bright in the dim light of the room as he came, his cum spilling onto his lower abdomen and slowly running down his skin, the muscles beneath flexing to clench amidst the intense pleasure of his orgasm. Colin moaned loudly into the silence of the room, the sound sweet to your ears as his hand made several more jerking journeys up and down his length before stilling, clenching tightly around the base of his shaft. Reaching for his face, you closed your fingers around his jaw and pulled his lips to yours, pulling him from the throes orgasm with a satisfied hum.  Pulling away, you glanced down at the hand he had wrapped around his shaft, his fingers loosening to fall away from his softening cock. “What are you doing?” You asked softly, eyes alight with cruel intent. “I didn’t say you could stop.” 

[littlemissnoname13]

The life he always wanted (D.M.)

Summary: Draco’s life after the battle of Hogwarts

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x female!reader

A/n: I wrote a multi-chapter a few months ago that never made it on here. This one shot has been pulled out of it and posted as a one shot just like “You and your green apples.” Which was supposed to be a part of that same multi chapter too.

Warnings: angst, Multiple mentions of avada and death so please read at your own discretion. Also please feel free to message me if I need to add any more disclaimers.

Word count: 2100+

The only thing illuminating the dark room was the flickering light from the television. 

Draco thought the muggles had really outdone themselves with that one as he had spent one too many nights in front of the television with a bottle of fire whisky.

Some nights he’d be too wasted to realise he’d been watching static for hours. 

Faint, fuzzy music could be heard all around the room even though the volume was set to a minimum and Draco took this opportunity to waltz you across the living room of your cozy one bedroom home. 

The house wasn’t too big but it was just the way you’d always wanted it to be—big glass windows, hardwood floors and a small spiral staircase leading to the roof. 

“The life we’ve always wanted.” You sighed and placed your head on his chest. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Draco.” 

One of his hands was placed securely on the small of your back while the other held your hand as you moved together with the music. Your soft, flowy hair bounced as he twirled you in his arms. 

“Oh really?” He smirked and watched you nod your head in response with a sad look in your eyes. 

“Yes really.” 

“Well I’m here now Darling so there’s no need to worry about all that.” He whispered, placing a kiss on the top of your head. “I’m not going anywhere. You know that don’t you?”

“I know Draco.” You whispered and he pulled you closer to him. “I know.”

Draco couldn’t begin to imagine what his life would be life without you in it. 

Shuddering at the dark clouds forming at the top of his blond head, he closed his eyes and inhaled sharply to make the clouds drift away. 

“Don’t you have to be somewhere tomorrow?” You asked tilting your head upwards to look at him. Draco noticed that your eyes brows crinkled a little as you said this—the look of worry somewhat prominent. 

“Oh yes.” He sighed, rolling his eyes at you. “I really wish you didn’t remind me.” 

“But you haven’t met our friends in so long.” 

“Your friends. ”He corrected you curtly. “And it’s only been a few months.” 

Well, it had been more than just a few months but It wasn’t his fault that he’d rather spend all his time with you. 

Draco noticed that you giggled when he said that as if you knew before taking his hand and guiding him towards the bedroom. 

He decided to not utter a single word of protest as he quietly followed you into the bedroom. 

“Come lie with me, Dray.” You whispered as he watched you slip under the covers. You looked so peaceful, so content and the whole moment seemed so fickle like it would fade away if he moved too quickly or blinked too hard. 

He hastily removed his shirt slipping under the covers next to you—his head on your chest as you lazily played with his hair. 

This was everything he’d ever wanted. 

“I love you y/n.” 

“I love you too.” 

~~~~~~~

“Glad you came, Malfoy.” Ginny smiled the best smile she could smile, opening the door to let him in the house.

“Well hello to you too Weaslette.” 

“Come on inside. We were all waiting for you.” Ginny said she led the way towards the living room filled with familiar voices and faces. 

“Potter. Weasel. Granger.” Draco muttered as he gave all three a semi polite nod of acknowledgement. 

“I uh—like your hair.” Harry commented looking at Draco’s unkempt blond hair now growing towards his shoulders. 

Upon hearing Harry, Draco ran his fingers through his hair and fought an urge to say something snarky. 

“So, may I ask why I’ve been summoned here?” Draco finally said as he sat down on an armchair opposite to Harry. 

“We just wanted to see you. You have been gone for a…bit...” Harry replied, clearing his throat. And we thought you might want this.” 

Draco raised his eyebrows suspiciously as Harry stretched out his hand to hand him a sealed envelope. 

“Cup of tea?” Ginny asked. 

~~~~~~~~~ 

As soon as he reached home, he tore his clothes off and jumped into the shower. 

He let the warm water wash away the ache he felt all over his body. There was no tell tale sign indicating the pain was physical or emotional. 

Nonetheless, the warmth of the water helped. 

To some extent. 

After what felt like hours in the shower, he finally stepped outside and wrapped a towel around his torso. 

The bathroom had fogged up and the fog had travelled all the way into the bedroom. 

In an attempt to get the fog to disappear, Draco cracked the surprisingly large bedroom window open and let the crisp night air flow into the room. 

“Someone’s back home early.” He heard you  mock in a sweet singsong voice making the tiniest of smiles appear at his lips as he turned around to face you. 

You were wearing a flowy satin dress and were perched on the top of his desk—dangling your legs. 

He paused to admire and remember every detail about the sight in front of him. 

The way the gust of wind coming from the window blew your hair towards your face. The way that flimsy satin fabric hugged your body. The way the flickering table lamp casted shadows on your features. 

Everything.

“I just couldn’t stay away from you.” He shrugged and watched you chuckle and get down from his desk. 

He patiently waited as you took long strides towards him before finally wrapping your arms around his neck—stretching on the tip of your toes and bringing your face close to his. 

“Open the envelope Draco.” You whispered softly into his ears. 

A flash of lightning lit up the entire room with a blinding white light as the sky roared. 

Draco nodded as he slowly reached for the crumpled envelope he’d left inside his coat pocket.

Taking a long breath, he looked up at you and you gave him an apologetic yet reassuring smile while he ripped the envelope open.

The opened seal of the envelope brought along with it, a familiar scent of cedarwood and vanilla. It was the smell he could smell on his clothes after spending the day with you. 

A small photograph fell out of the envelope.

It was a Polaroid you’d unintentionally taken one summer. Both of you had questionable expressions on your faces because you were both trying to get the Camera to work. 

You were chewing your lip in confusion and his nose was scrunched up; you both were not ready for the photo at all. 

His hands shook violently as sporadic rain drops started to pour down from the window leaving tiny splatters on the worn out photograph.

“Why?” He spat in anger. “Why did you have to throw yourself between me and that killing curse?” 

You smiled an apologetic smile at him once again; you did that a lot. 

“You’ll get drenched Draco—close the window.” You said,  dodging his question completely while you reached towards his hand again.

“Stop dodging my question.” 

“It hadn’t rained for a while.” You said making him heave a sigh and look up at the night sky.

One rain drop and become two and two had become three.

Draco took a wobbly step towards you and fruitlessly wiped the drops of rain that were falling on your cheeks. 

“And now it’s raining.” He pointed out with his voice shaky. 

“Excellent observation, my love.” 

The way you said it, the nonchalance in your voice made him furious. You were gone but he had to wake up every single day in a world where you no longer existed. 

In a stupor of grief, he grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you towards him. “Don’t you see?— even the sky is grieving the loss of what could have been! The life we could have lived!” 

“I like to think it’s the universe washing away the hurt and pain.” You whispered, staring deeply into his steely eyes. “You’ll see. It’s going to be a beautiful morning tomorrow. I can feel it.” 

“Why y/n? Why didn't you let me die instead?—you are gone and what am I left with? A worn out photograph of you?!” 

“Draco—”

“Every damned day, I feel further and further away from you.” He began sobbing. “The smell of your perfume is fading from my sweater, I cannot picture the way you used to laugh anymore—for the love of Merlin! I don’t even remember what life was like when you were with me y/n. It all seems so far away..so distant.”

“You have to let me go, Draco.” You whispered as you pressed your forehead to his. 

He physically felt the pain of his breaking heart all over his body. The sharp pain brought back all the trauma he had suppressed over the last few months. 

“No…No. No. No—Please don’t leave again.” He pleaded as angry tears started to roll down his cheeks. “Please. I—I don’t think I can handle it.” 

“You’ll see me again. I swear.” You said softly as he began to laugh an ominous kind of laugh, knowing deep down that you weren’t even there in front of him to begin with.

Everything was all in his head. 

Twenty seven months.

He’d been talking to the voice in his head for twenty seven whole months while the world moved on without him. 

“When? When will I see you again? In another life? Merlin!” Draco said in between his hysterical laughter. 

“Maybe.” The figment of his imagination whispered caressing the side of his face till he calmed down. “Maybe in another life I won’t find myself having to jump in between you and the killing curse.” 

Draco gave you a disapproving glare before he leaned down to find your rain soaked lips. 

With his index finger and thumb holding your chin up, Draco kissed you gently while his own tears and the acidic grey rain continued trickle down his face. 

It took him every ounce of strength he had left but he nodded like he was saying his final goodbye and took a step back— releasing you from his embrace and releasing him from his grief. 

You slowly turned on your heel and walked towards the door. 

“I’ll be waiting for you Draco.” 

He closed his eyes because he wasn’t ready to see you leave. 

So after what felt like centuries, Draco slowly opened his eyes. 

He was all alone. 

~~~~🍂🍁🍂~~~~

Autumn. 

It could be seen in the rustling trees and the gust of wind that made the amber colored leaves that were once bright green fall down onto a winding pathway beneath trees. 

A young woman strided along the winding path. Clicking her heels. Head tilted upwards, taking in the pinkish purple sky in all of its glory. 

A few books were tucked underneath her arm and a cloth bag loosely hung on her left shoulder. 

She was so occupied by the pleasant weather and whatever thoughts were circling her head, that she didn’t even realise that she had collided with somebody.

“Sorry. I’m so sorry.” 

She apologised profusely before she knelt down on the ground to collect the books she’d dropped. 

The stranger hummed in response and helped her gather the contents that had fallen out of her book bag. 

An oddly familiar smell tickled her senses. It was the smell of cologne and fresh mint. 

The smell of the cologne was so foreign to her. It was like nothing she’d ever smelled before and yet, she found herself feeling awfully comforted by it.

The smell sent her into a state of déjà vu. 

She looked up through her lashes and saw a boy with steely grey eyes making an eerie sense of familiarity washed all over her body. 

“I’m sorry, have we met before?” 

The boy blinked a few times before cracking a small smile. “I think we’re in the same Art history class. Judging by where you’re headed.” 

“Right.” She nodded as they slowly walked down the path together. “Don’t mind me. It’s just.. it’s just that you seem oddly familiar to me.” 

He shoved his hands into his pocket as they quietly walked next to each other. The silence wasn’t an awkward one. 

Not for him at least. 

It felt almost as if they’d always been walking together for years—in another timeline, in another life.

It all felt habitual. 

“Tell you what? He finally said looking down at the girl he’d just met. “How about we get coffee after class and discuss this further. You seem oddly familiar to me too.” 

“I’d like that.”

Her eyes pierced a million daggers into his heart.

“I’d like that a lot.” 

-------------------------------------

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