#this post gave tumblr whiplash

[junipernight]

I HAVE THOUGHTS ON THIS SUBJECT

As a child, I was deathly afraid of Dracula . So, naturally, I gave a lot of thought to what I would do if a vampire ever tried to enter my bedroom while I was sleeping.

Was it better to have the door shut, so that the sound of the knob turning and hinges creaking would wake me up?

Or was it better to have the door open, so that if I woke to find a beastly menace looming over me, the door would be one less obstacle on my way out?

I waffled on this subject. I usually left the door just barely ajar.

I finally got a conclusive answer on closed vs shut when I least expected it, during Community Emergency Response Training from the local fire chief. Mr. Fire Chief said we were all idiots if we slept with our bedrooms door open, not because of intruders (vampiric or otherwise) but because of smoke inhalation. People tend to be overconfident that they would wake up if their building caught fire. They don't account for the fact that smoke/carbon monoxide puts you to sleep. Smoke inhalation kills more people in house fires than fire itself. Ergo, if you shut your bedroom door and a fire starts somewhere else in the building, you are more likely to hear the fire or the smoke alarm, wake up, and survive.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Peach..

I miss him so so much.

Can you gush about Jimin ?

Love how you wrote about him.

Thank you so so much in advance.

Whenever you are free. No pressure.

***

Hi @misslauwie

When your ask came in weeks ago, something in my chest squeezed a little. Because god yes I miss him too. Sometimes it feels like the whole world is kinda 'off', like everything is 'wrong', like we're all stuck in a holding pattern of sorts... And for anyone who thinks that's too dramatic, no it's not. Look around you. The world is kinda fucked, and the reason is because Jimin isn't on stage right now seducing the crowd performing like rent is past due, dancing his heart out, and singing like the fallen angel he is.

It's hard for me to talk about him these days though... I mean, there's always so much to say when it comes to Jimin, but the words don't form quite right for me these days.

Is it alright for me to simply post some pictures I come back to when I miss him and jikook?

Assuming I have your permission, that's what this post is going to be about.

(they cuddle)

*

There's this one from his last live before enlisting. Bare-faced, in an all black hoodie and beanie outfit looking hot as hell. It's the way he's giving 'Korean skaterboy who moonlights as a hacker', but at the same time he comes across as responsible, capable, and real. Cute too.

But lol, maybe that's just what I see when I'm biased.

*

Who else gets stuck looking at his eyes?

There's always so much to say about Jimin because literally everything about him could yield its own thesis. From the range and depth in his stage personas; to how pretty his body features are, before they morph into something more... deviant; to his voice that polarizes and entraps every audience. There's so much to talk about when it comes to Jimin, but I keep coming back to his eyes...

*

(This gave you whiplash didn't it :))

He's always known exactly what to do and how to do it.

*

Jimin is giving 70s cult leader in this shot and it's a fave. He's too modest to ever ask, but we all know we'd join a commune for him if he pulled that zipper down a little lower.

Anyway. Does anybody know why he likes this pair of shoes so much? I've always found them a bit ugly, but somehow, he makes it work. And it's clear he likes them a lot since he wears them all the time. But like... why?

*

Another picture I stare at on days when I miss jikook jikooking, is this one.

It's the moon in the shot that does it. The lines and symmetry, the afterglow of the sunset, Jimin's wide curved back, Jungkook focused on him, Jimin focused on him too, the fact someone else saw them like this and took this picture. They could've been chatting about what they'd like to eat for dinner or some other mundane thing, but it's the care and focus they show for each other that comes through so clearly for me in this shot.

*

This one has a place in my gallery because it's peak jikook.

*

As is this one:

*

Anyway.

Down bad for Baby G.

Imagine if PJM2 has a track like Set Me Free Pt 2 + Tony Montana... imagine the cataclysm it will cause in k-pop, imagine the havoc this cutie patootie pie will cause.

*

Sigh.

*

One day, when I find the words, I'll try to write about all the ways he charms. I owe a kind person from Tumblr (KPFT) a post about him.

*

In 2025, he'll be a 30 year old man desperate to get back on stage. And lord, I just hope everyone is ready.

*

This is the last one.

I come back to this picture sometimes because back then, they really did just have eyeliner and a dream. He gave his all right from the start and has created life-changing art. It's endearing to know he's both a bit of a workaholic and can be lazy too... and to know he still sleeps the exact way - like this:

...and this:

..and this:

*

@misslauwie I miss him too. Also miss Jungkook and the rest of the tannies. For Jimin, it makes me very happy that at least, Jungkook is with him.

He'll be back soon. 💜

[alexthebordercollie]

TW: SENSITIVE TOPIC MENTION So umm... I mean this as politely as I can. But is the H! Ford blog borderline sexual or something? The recent posts gave a lot of whiplash, like the DEVIANTART kind. The art is nice in certain ways, but it's not going to tread into SA territory right???

First off, the "DEVIANTART" insult, uncalled for. But should make this super clear.

Hand of God is a horror AU about domestic abuse and intimate partner violence.

This does include allusions to SA. The blog on tumblr isn't likely to get more graphic than what's been shown, but the Hand of God fic on ao3 is already tagged with these elements. I've shared links to the ao3 fic before and thought this element of HoG had been fairly upfront I appologize if I didn't make that clear enough for people.

If SA is a triggering subject that's understandable, in that case HoG may not be for you. I honestly didn't initially expect the in character blog to pick up so much traction so quickly so had been fairly committed to keeping it in character but since it's been getting bigger I'll make sure everything is tagged so people who don't want to see those parts can filter them out.

There have been clues prior to the recent abuse cycle I posted from H that hint at this. He was aggressive with Pyronica for exposing his bare arms to people. There's a morbid joke made about it but H has a complicated relationship to his body that comes from years of abuse. He also sometimes behaves in a sexualized fashion as a way of taking back some sense of ownership of his sexuality, which is a common trauma response for SA survivors.

I know there's plenty of Billford stuff that depicts dubious consent scenarios that are framed as hot or funny. HoG shows how these things affect H as a character. The damage it does to him. The most recent posts show him having a manic episode after an intense exchange with his partner. He gets these not too infrequently from their sexual exchanges because these exchanges often involve a lot of intense BDSM and no aftercare. Consent is usually ambiguous because the power imbalance makes it so H can't really say no to his partner. Bill also often uses sex as a way to emotionally manipulate Ford.

The blog obviously isn't going to be all these kinds of posts because abuse isn't a constant state of 11. There are peace periods, and there are periods of love bombing. There are still going to be posts of H acting normal and talking about the more "mundane" parts of his life. These bouts of intensity I plan to space out and break up with more light-hearted posts intended to cool things back down. Abuse victims are not defined by their abuse and depictions of abuse should still strive to show these characters as full people and not just a series of bad things that happen to them.

His relationship with D is completely asexual. He finds a lot of comfort and catharsis in showing D the kind of gentle intimate affection H needs but isn't getting from his own partner. Using D as a sort of proxy to fulfill those needs for safety and comfort. A lot of the crossover fic concepts for these characters are very overtly about trauma recovery and how these two and their contrasting trauma responses help each other, and sometimes how they hurt each other unintentionally due to behaviors they have minimal control over.

It's two very damaged people huddling together for warmth. Neither knows how to help the other, but they care about each other and can connect in ways they can't easily with other people.

To list anything else about HoG that may be triggering,

H experiences both manic and depressive episodes. He has been conditioned to behave in violent ways by Bill. He experiences a kind of body dysmorphia that comes from feeling like his body doesn't belong to him, which is sometimes expressed in contrasting ways. He's a severe alcoholic and is regularly abused using illicit substances. It's gotten to the point he's just used to it as part of his life. He often turns to various drugs of his own accord when looking for escapism. H has lost most of his friends and family, and Bill isolates him from people who might be able to offer him a support network outside their relationship. Bill tolerates D because D also worships Bill. H also experiences splitting a common symptom of BPD and NPD. H expresses a lot of the symptoms of NPD. H sees himself as fundamentally poisonous on some level. He engages in a lot of self-destructive behaviors. Bill has convinced him he's a monster, that he's unlovable, that only Bill could ever love him unconditionally.

I repeat, this is a horror AU about domestic violence.

List of upsetting subject matter contained in HoG. None of these things are meant to be held as romantic. This ship is abuse. Ford Pines is being abused.

[anothermansjeans]

Read Your Mind

aaron hotchner x fem!reader

a/n: hello babes! i had originally posted this on patreon but wanted to share it with tumblr as well (ik i said it’d take like 2 weeks but here she is)! i’ll be writing the smut scenes to this fic and those will be patreon exclusives so if you wanna become a member it’s in my bio :)

wc: 1.1k

cw: implied sex, dry humping mention ?? i think that’s it!

inspiration: read your mind by sabrina carpenter

++

To say Y/N was frustrated would be an understatement. The constant mixed signals she has received from Aaron would make whiplash seem less painful, and she wasn’t being over dramatic.

When she first developed what was once a small crush— and is now almost what she thought was love— for her boss, she wouldn’t have ever thought he’d have even an ounce of any sort of romantic feelings for her, but after a drunken night out with the team and coming to the realization that they lived not even two buildings away from one another, confessions and heavy petting were exchanged. The next morning after mutual hungover groans were exchanged throughout the bullpen, Hotch called her into his office and made it very clear that lines were crossed… but also stated he had enjoyed himself. The confusion had begun there. Knowing he wasn’t typically one for physical contact, the feeling of him placing his hand onto her hand that rested on top of his desk sent a shock through her system. She enjoyed it, she really enjoyed it, but within thirty seconds of that contact he had also said how he needed her to get back to her desk— he needed to be alone to work.

Y/N brushed it off after that. Nothing was going to happen— Aaron liked what they did, but clearly didn’t want to pursue anything. That was understandable, and it would’ve stayed understandable if he kept up with the professionalism. Lack of said professionalism happened during a case in New York. Everyone had to share a room with someone except for one, and when it came down to pairing off Emily and JJ went off with each other, Derek and Spencer assumed they’d be the second pair, and Rossi claimed the solo room for himself. That left Y/N and Hotch with each other. It was very awkward for the first hour, but they slowly warmed up to each other again.

If anyone told Y/N that she would be having sex with Aaron that night she would’ve laughed in their face, and if anyone told her that they’d wake up in each other’s arms and bask in the warmth, she would’ve sent them to a mental institution. But it happened. After one too many glances they inevitably gave in, and that morning was a lot less awkward than the morning after their drunken dry humping.

But the cycle with Hotch continued after that. They’d share secret kisses, he’d tell her very sternly to get to work. They would spend the night with each other, he’d say they shouldn’t see each other for a while just to call her in the next night or two. At this point, she figured he was lonely but didn’t want to commit. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could play this game with him, and she would continue to mull it over in the early hours at the office before anyone else was there, stirring her coffee in the kitchenette until she felt a strong pair of hands touch her waist.

“I miss you.”

His voice was raspy, like he woke up not too long ago and just came in. She knew his statement was referring to the small break in seeing each other he had suggested, and the thought of it made her upset, causing her to place her coffee on the counter and turn around, crossing her arms.

“I can’t read your mind.” Her statement caused him to lift an eyebrow, forcing her to elaborate. “I’m a profiler, and for the love of God I cannot read what the hell is going on in your mind. You say that we need to stop and then you call me whenever you deem it’s a good time. You know we’re crossing a line here, make that very clear, but still see me in a romantic setting. I can't read your mind.”

His hands had dropped from her waist, and he took a step back. “There’s nothing to read here, Y/N. I thought we were together.”

She scoffed, causing him to wince, “then why the fuss, Aaron? Why are you saying things but doing the opposite? Why the mixed signals?” She waited a minute, staring back at him, waiting for him to say something, but when he didn’t, she grabbed her coffee and started to take off.

“Wait.” He hooked his hand around her elbow, causing her to turn back to him. “You’re right. I’ve screwed up. I don’t know what I’m doing half of the time— I don’t typically date, but Y/N, I’m not lying when I say that there is no one else I would want to be experiencing this with. I was actually hoping that you’re it for me.”

A small part of her wanted to laugh in his face. After countless days trying to read what the hell was going on in his mind, this wasn’t even on the forefront of the mental list she compiled. The biggest part of her wanted to believe him. She really did, but she had nothing to go on. “I need you to prove it, Aaron. I feel like I’m clueless here and I just—”

He swiftly cut her off by tugging her towards him and smashing their lips together. This kiss was a lot different than the secret or drunken ones they’ve shared. It felt like the real deal for Y/N, and she could’ve stayed there forever if it wasn’t for the small crash as well as the exclaimed “oh!” they heard.

Breaking apart, they turned their heads to see a very frazzled Penelope standing there with her hands in a surrendering position, lips in an “oh” shape, and a broken mug on the floor. No one spoke immediately, but once everyone was fully aware of the situation at hand, Penelope went down to the floor and started scooping up the broken pieces. “I am so sorry sir… and Y/N! I’m uh— I‘ll just—”

“It’s okay, Garcia,” Hotch’s voice was gruff, “I’ll clean it up. Just get ready for the briefing.”

She had slowly gotten up and wiped her hands across her dress. “Yes, sir,” she spoke quietly, but once she turned around and scurried away Y/N could hear a quiet “I am so telling Derek I was right.”

Surprisingly, it wasn’t awkward afterwards as they both pitched in to clean the broken glass. Their slightly heated faces and hidden smiles were enough for them to both understand what the other was thinking— this thing between them was real, and they had to practice avoiding the rest of the team for anything other than case related things.

[mookybear12404]

Happy 2 year anniversary to my Genshin addiction

Okay I have a confession to make. I downloaded Genshin Impact- and I actually think it’s REALLY good

When I heard “Free” and “Gatcha” I immediately assumed this game was gonna be a money grab game that would just try to get me to either pay up or play hours upon hours of grinding to get anything. BUT NOPE. 

[yandere-sins]

Anon here with a irlyanbf (no kidding) long ago we were having issues in our relation and he thought I was cheating on him when in reality I was just reading yan stories and smiling like an idiot on my phone, one day he took my phone and found out I was using tumblr a lot and saw my account full of fics, later he was ashamed and told me what he did so we started sharing more of our likes and fantasies, AND went to therapy of course, we’ll be 5 years together now and hoping forever more 💜🖤

This gave me some whiplash I can't deny it, but it's not my place to judge. Don't know if I could stick around after hearing about what my partner did if I were in your shoes, but you at least got the "for better or for worse" in your future vows down! Glad you guys worked through your issues and I wish you all the best!! Only shows love is the solulu to every delulu :') (Also, communication is key!)

Oh, you are so right! I haven't actually thought this far but it would be so freakin' humiliating to sit in court and be completely dismissed because the yan's lawyer just goes "your honor, it's what the victim wanted!" It also turns it into a he-said-she-said situation because the yan can just lie and say it was consensual since you have that kink... gosh that is so awful.

I now have that fear, too, thank you :') I am not super afraid about people learning what I read because I feel like people just scoff and mock you a bit for reading romance and the like. But my writing... sometimes I fear it makes me look like a psycho when really it's just trauma processing I swear OTL

Either way, my heart weeps for the people who had to go through this, it really is scary and I wish there was a more reliable way to find out the truth... but the inspiration parasite is going apeshit with how terrible it would be for a darling to be dismissed and the yan just continuing smugly, knowing they've won and no one will believe the darling if they keep trying to make a fuss.

Honestly, I only scraped at it with the previous ask but I did mention the yan checking the darling's computer and their history. It was a bit vague but I think every find that the yan can claim as new knowledge helps them do the unspeakable things they do :') Doesn't really matter whether reading or writing or reblogging things, posting stuff, or creating art, etc. Writing is just another way to live out the fantasies and that's where the yan can latch on! >:3

[thatyoutubereviewer]

Watch "The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals" on YouTube

The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals

Genre: sci-fi horror comedy musical proshot

Date posted: Dec 24, 2018

Closed captioning: very good 👍👍

Runtime: 1:52:36

Youtube description: summary of the show with full credits of cast crew and direction, as well as time stamps for both scenes and songs

Trigger warnings: fake blood and guts, blue shit, smoking, drinking, vulgar language, guns, gunshots, the US government, gaslighting

My rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️🌟

Full spoilers free review below vv

What a better video to review than the one that *really* got me sucked into YouTube. Of course, I'd been watching YouTube for years before that, even the same channel. But this musical? Fucking transcendent!

The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals (tgwdlm) pushes the boundaries in every way. From the adult comedy that can't *quite* make it on Broadway, to the suspenseful sci-fi apocalyptic plot you can't find anywhere else, this show is perfect for theater lovers and those wishing to dip their toes into the musical world. A story that takes place over two days, after a meteor hits and people start singing, what will the guy who doesn't like musicals do?

The characters are brilliantly written and all stand apart from each other. Even when an actor is playing another character on stage, you can always tell who they are supposed to be. It's a cast of eight performers onstage, which is wildly impressive to me that it seems like a whole town with only eight people. There is... decent representation, while most of the characters are straight white men, there is one black man with a lesbian daughter. Trust me that Starkid vastly improves their representation if that is something of importance to you.

Jeff Blim's musical writing paired with the cast's talent made a wonderful soundtrack with genres ranging from 80s rock ballad to coffee showtune it'll leave you in whiplash in the best way. All of the songs make sense for the scenes and flow well with the plot. Let's just say I've jammed to this album a few,, several times.

The pacing starts slow, then picks up and doesn't stop. There's so much to chew on, but the show gives you enough time to swallow it. Nick and Matt Lang's writing has always been really good, but a lot of people consider tgwdlm their magnum opus. Tgwdlm is one of three musicals set in the small town Hatchetfield, and if you like this, you'll definitely like those.

Tgwdlm has an active fandom on tumblr and twitter, though I highly recommend you watch all three hatchetfield musicals before you interact for fear of spoilers.

I rated tgwdlm at a 6 out of 5 stars because this show gave me joy and community when I didn't have a lot. It's hard not to fall in love with these characters, songs, and plot. Also, when it first came out, I watched it several times over just because it was so good. I highly recommend to anyone willing to spend their time on something cooky, fun, and a little spooky.

[lizzle-the-edu-nerd]

Good God. Hello. I'm freaking out a little bit now. I have just realised who you are. And I've just realised you follow me... which means one of my favourite (if not MY FAVOURITE) fic writers on ao3 is mutuals with me on Tumblr.

I have genuinely recommended your fanfics to people and they plague my mind... I think about your writing all the time. You have a serious talent. And there's so much PASSION in your writing. With each word, I can just tell how much you love the characters you write, how much you love to write in general. It's heartwarming!

I found you through BibliophiLe, and I was so excited because no one writes Monokami!!! I remember just being in awe as I read because you're seriously one of the few people who capture Monoma perfectly. ALSO, the way you portray Kaminari is literally the best in the entire fandom. Everyone loves doing him so wrong for some reason, but you are a genius in the Denki department. Both of them are done really well by you, which is so refreshing for characters who are often mischaracterised by the fandom!

Then there's Living in B Minor, WHICH IS CRAZY because IIRC you weren't really well versed in musical stuff and you learned so much just to feed us!!! Honestly, Monoma's backstory in that was so goddamn tragic but wow, your world building is impeccable. You really understand how to write characters working through trauma.

And!!! I've just literally finished Half Empty/Half Full. TOTAL WHIPLASH from the angst that Living in B Minor gave us, WOW. I love fluff. It is 100% my favourite tag on all of ao3 and a whole fic of my favourite rarepair just being cute together and working out their relationship. T_T SOOO GOOD.

Also I've become so attached to Monoma's sister!!!!! I love her in all your writings!

Oh, and I haven't read the Monobaku oneshot yet but I'll be sure to do that soooooon!!!

But God, ok this is getting kind of long. Just. Thank you for writing these characters so well. Thank you for sharing your work. Thank you for existing. AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!!

Literally cannot with how amazing this ask is 💖

You have given me such a thoughtful, beautiful Christmas gift!

EDIT: Tumblr deleted like half my post 😲

I hope I continue to create content that makes you as happy as it makes me.

FAN FIC READERS ARE MY LIFE BLOOD

FYI - I love following YOU @neitomo because I adore your takes on Monoma and feel I've found a kindred Class B soul 💖

[mrslonelyhearts]

the acceptance of aave in the late 2010s always bothered me because in online spaces like deviantart, i texted my friends the way i spoke irl, but they had no idea what i was talking about or they would point out how it was grammatically incorrect. 'cause you know, it was fun for white kids to refer to themselves as grammar nazis back then. then suddenly on tumblr, white users start using bruh, start quoting beyonce songs, start using a lot of aave in their posts to the point i initially assume they're black like me! and it gave me such whiplash to know that the way i texted as a teen was no longer belittled, but embraced. frankly, this white attitude towards black culture makes me think of these anti-rap posts i've been seeing on opinions of kendrick and drake's beef.

[anon-wilford]

TRICK OR TREAT !!!!

omg hi thank u! I wasnt sure what to do as am ccurently already working on two art pieces but not smth I can post to tumblr (I think) but I remembered this writers wip! hermitcraft angst incomming, with Evil X. Pain.

Pain is the only comfort Evil X Has. The little healthy tissue still to succumb to the void cold touch, screaming and begging for warmth, sending waves of agony up his arms. It's ironic that it feels like touching hot oil on a pan. His feet's no better either, but they're holding up better. At least that's what he hopes. He hopes that they're not just too far away from his heart for his body to have given up on them. Nausea forces its way to his stomach by the thought of his feet being black, frozen, and cold, to the point they've gone numb. He tells himself that the slight weird tingling sensation pushing its way up his legs means something else. But he doesn't dare look to confirm that. He gave up screaming a long time ago. The angry insults could have simply lasted an hour, or a day. Or several for all he knows. He's unsure if Time is ticking by agonizingly slow, or going by faster due to the lack of general stimuli, other than watch the few particles of the void rush by him, almost as if he was falling.

Falling...or floating for eternity. He's pretty sure he's falling. Just the way his stomach churns at every movement, like going over the peak of a roller coaster, down. Yet nothing around him would confirm that he was. No wind is whipping past him, screaming in his ears. No hair flailing wildly as the effects of Gravity takes its effect. No resistance of his limbs due to the natural force. Maybe he's not, the metal around his wrists and ankles to keep him from entering servers, worlds or the central hub in general, suggests he's chanied up, but there's not much here to chain him to, he supposes. He cant assume the magic ingrained in the metal would do much if he was falling. But

The feeling of slowly slipping further, and further. Deeper. Just his guts tensing and with a sharp cold energetic pain at every flinch, suggests his assumptions are correct.

His throat feels sore. Every swallow, cough or even breath feels like swallowing shards of glass. His thrasing and screaming had taken it's toll, ripping the inside of his throat open, littered with sores. Every heave his lungs crave, that his throat is forced through, screaming at him to let it rest, the infalmed irritated tissue fighting his very want to stay alive, sending waves of tears prickling and itching to fall. If he had any left to shed, that is. He guesses that he's too dehydrated to cry. Being in the void might pause several of his bodily functions, but it's mercy only extents so far. The tears he shed wont come back. His stomach's still empty. He's still running on fumes. And you can still wither away and die. It's not a time bubble. He's not sure if that's a curse or a blessing. Probably a blessing. It would be agony to be consicous till the end of time. Though still far from generous. Never forgiving the poor souls that's send into it's embrace. Most take forgranted how quick the death would be, in some- if not most- circumstances. Falling off an end island, falling through a glitched hole in the world. The gravity letting you slip, like breaking through water's surface tension, but scaled a hundred-fold, is what harms. The pop of of the void tearing you from the egde of your world, tearing you out from it's force's reach, like two siblings fighting over a toy. Killing you. Tearing you apart and in the end, nobody wins. Both crying over the loss of their precious toy. Though if given to the void. If you're send there intentionally. If someone negotiates with the worlds code, like writing a command, lessening the whiplash... you die from your body not being made to live there.

All he hears is the internal turmoil and the void's singing. The ringing in his ears almost resembling a tune if you listen for long enough. Attempting to soothe you, before the high-pitched ringing stabs your ear's inner organs like a million tiny needles, slowly yet surely digging everything out.

It feels like years have passed since he last saw his brother. Well, clone? Well, he himself is the clone. Xisuma is most likely the original. No matter how simillar he looked, he always stood out. He doesn't mind that, of course. That's what he tells himself at least. It's good to stand out, be different, not blend in with all the normies living their plain boring life, talking about their unitneresting lives. Their words tasts like boring plain bread left out on the counter for too long.

...and look what that got him...

A one way ticket to the void.

Handed to him on a silver platter by someone he once called his brother. Whom he had shared most of his life with, walking along side eachother. He never thought their roads parting ways would have lead him here.

The forgiveness he had once teased his brother for being too generous for giving so easily, is what he has been begging to receive for the past... Few years, most likely. Yet he remembers that spiteful, hurtful, look his brother had given him before the darkness of the void had embraced him.

At first he despised his brother for sending him here. Screaming about how Xisuma himself had talked and thought how unforgiving the void is. How no human being deserve such a slow and torturous death.

But Evil X is just a clone after all. Just another number. A duplicate, a fake. And the worst part is, that he's a terrible duplicate at that. Meant to be so much greater than whatever he had become. Or at least, that's what he felt was assumed of the situation. He rose so high, ignoring the promise of the inevitable fall being even harder than his success, plummeting and dragging it down with him. And oh, how ugly his fall was. Slow and agonizing.

It's ironic, isn't it? That this is how he dies. Falling slowly in the void.

At least he'll die the way he lived, if that means anything. Probably doesn't. He hope they didn't forget him. He hopes that the time that has passed, is time spent warming Xisumas cold shoulder. Yet he's sure they both know deep down that this is what he deserves. He deserves to slowly lose his senses. Slowly have his person, his soul, his very core wither away. He deserves the cold biting away at his body, circling his heart still pumping out the warm blood, like a predator seeking the warm flesh of it's prey. Seeking to suffocate any sign of warmth in its territory. He can feel the last bit of life draining from him, but he's too cold, too tired to fight it. And he knows it's utterly useless. The exhaustion is overwhelming. His eye's are heavy. He can feel his eyelids slip. His muscles loosing the energy to keep themselves together. He can feel the exposed skin on his face crack from the dry cold, blood seeping from his face. He really should have kept his helmet on and not chugged it as hard as he could, never to be seen again. Maybe it would have kept him alive long enough for his pleas of forgiveness to reach Xisuma's heart. The only warmth left in him is the blood seeping through his cracking skin across his corehead, lips and cheeks. He hoped that at the very least he would die in battle, with fellow warriors by his side to comfort him with the promise of vengance and victory; or someplace where he gets to say goodbye to mothernature. Hoping to die blissfully lulled to sleep in her lovingly warm embrace, with the beauty of the flowers, trees and animals she created and allows to live and die in her embrace with a promise of peace.

As his eyes close, he can feel a surge rush through his body.

And everything goes black. Everything disappears. He no longer feels the weight of his armor, the weight of breathing.

[todomitoukei]

Replying because I saw your bnhavent post so thank you for making this space! I only made this tumblr to follow bnha content and will likely delete when the endorphin train of new content dies down but I have read bnha since 2018, specifically because it made the villains and todoroki story compelling and a refreshing take on how victims in media at large are portrayed. With this hurricane of an ending I have whiplash. He took several interesting, dynamic relationships with cool societal critics boiled in and turned this series into a D level shonen ending. “Better get saved before you hit your breaking point or you’re not savable” that’s what touya, shigaraki, and toga can teach you in this series. And people in powerful spots, like the #1 hero, will always be above critical review and the law in hero society. With touya’s story I’m even more frustrated because he lacked closure. He barely gave touya a conclusion because touya rose in popularity after it was too late to back track in the writing for him. I am usually picky about stories that I read in fiction because I want to enjoy them for pleasure while I have an intensive job mentality. I enjoy the occasion tragedy but I need to know it’s a tragedy going on. I do not read optimistic fiction to have my heart broken miserably . Apologies for the ranting

No need to apologize, this is exactly why I made that post because, like you said, the story didn't start off tragic like this.

One of the things writers need to be aware of is that they make certain indirect promises to readers at the start of their story. One of the main promises a writer makes is in regards to the genre/tone of the story, which is why there is such a divide in the fandom in the first place - if you look at the first season, it's overall a light-hearted story. Yes, occasionally there was some seriousness to it, but nothing that was focused on too much or rather it was all quickly turned around into something more hopeful.

For example, Deku being told to jump off that roof was never painted as too serious since he continued to consider himself friends with the person that told him that. While that in itself could be considered a concerning response, the story simply never paints this as an issue, it feels more like a way to show how good-hearted he is for sticking to people and seeing the good in them even when they don't act that way.

That promise then got broken with the lov, specifically their backstories. Sure, Shouto's backstory in season 2 was also on the serious and dark side, but the difference is that he is arguably in a better spot, whereas the lov's existence shows how physically and mentally damaging abuse and discrimination can be to the point that people almost die, become homeless, turn to crime etc etc.

A lot of people got into bnha because of the season 1 light-heartedness, a fun story about a kid who tries to become a hero against all odds. It's only natural that people who enjoy stories like that to be turned away when the story starts taking on more horror elements, like when we get to see little Tenko kill his family for example.

So I think having those two very different tones and genres was one of the downfalls of this story and the reason he ultimately failed to write an ending that feels consistent and just.

Aside from that promise being broken, he obviously also backtracked and retconned so much that the story ended up not living up to the various expectations it set up for the readers throughout the story.

[coping-via-clint-eastwood]

*siiiiiigh* Soooooo, first of all, I would like to apologise to @jencsi for taking so long to answer the ask. But then of course when I want to answer it, Tumblr has it made it disappear. So anyway I'm posting as a post. This is for the character asks thing. Jen asked all questions for Gil Grissom.

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

EVERYTHING???????

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

HOW DO I PICK WHEN THERE ARE SO MANY ANSWERS????????

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

HOW DO I PICK WHEN THERE ARE NO ANSWERS????????

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

Sherlock Holmes 🤷🏻‍♀️

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

I know that I'm the resident Linkin Park fan, and I'm all over 9x05, but, LOATR is just about one particular aspect of his life.  It doesn't encapsulate the full depth of him.  And, honestly, that's what I really hope that I captured in my video.  It's basically a marriage proposition to him at this point.  I hope I did the song and him justice.

(I am using Leave Out All the Rest this year though (:  )

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

Autistic.  Hearing impaired.  Misanthropic humanist.  I love bugs because of him.  I'm learning to sign because of him.  I got into CSI because I love bioscience.  Ghost/social outcast until we find the right people.  Struggle with emotions and relationships, and ultimately learning to choose love over fear (which is, one again, something I learned from him. If he can do it, so can I. The fact that my role model is a fictional being). Bullied because of being nerdy.  Bullied because of "weirdness" aka autism.  We're uncomfortable around people but care very deeply about them, especially if they're our loved ones.  Honestly a lot of it is the autism and everything that comes with it.

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

Lemme just say, boy am I glad I am on the we want to fuck that old man website.  Because, at first, I was embarrassed and self-conscious that I was in love with someone much older than me (hence why I love GSR; it gives me so much more confidence), but then as I got into the tumblr fandom I saw that I'm not alone.  So thank you everyone.

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

When people hate him overall for the way he treated Sara well in the early seasons.  Like, hello *gestures to his whole development arc*  you see this?  Or were we not watching the same show?

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

Oh my god it's gonna be so fucking quiet.  For once in our lives we'll have someone who'll actually respect our sensitivity/stimulation needs and not belittle us.

10. Could you be best friends with this character?

We're two of a kind.

11. Would you date this character?

I WANNA MARRY HIM!!!!!!!!!

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

His father's name is Arthur, since that's his middle name, and it's not uncommon for catholics to make their first name the middle name of their child.  And irl Billy's dad is named Arthur Edward Petersen, and his brother is Arthur Petersen Jr.

13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?

🐛🐜🐞🦗🪲🕷️

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

GSR

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

Someone jokingly tagged a post with [#otp: i have bugs in my office] and while I'm glad it's not an actual ship...yeah I'm glad it's not.  It gave me fucking whiplash.

17. What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?

Grillows.  I'm actually multiship.  I ship GSR, Grillows and Kessom.  I've even been okay roleplaying Grissom/Nick with someone in the past, and I'm also okay with Warrick and Greg being shipped with him.  Hell I even find him being dopey with Teri Miller cute XD

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

Catherine.  #brotp: it will play our song forever

19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?

I wanna say Ecklie but that's like, everything about him

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

If not Cath then Heather XD

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

I love loving him.  I write my stories with him with so much love and care.  And I'm proud that my audience say it's obvious how much I love him.

I don't like him being hurt so I never write it.  Like, I'll just say it:  I'm glad it was Nick who got caught in Grave Danger and not Gil.  If it had been him I...I don't know what I would've done.  Even though I'd have known  that he was gonna be fine in the end, during the process I'd break down, no matter how many times I've watched it.  The thought of him being hurt just...I can't say it.  Sorry Nick, I love you too but Gil...Gil is the most special to me.

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don't like?

I love when people write about his disabilities.  His hearing impairment, how he signs, his experience speaking both English and ASL.  His social and emotional struggles because of his autism.

My dislike would be when people write him as allosexual...  💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

23. Favorite picture of this character?

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

Sherlock Holmes

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

First impression:  wow he's so cool and smart and good at science.  I wanna learn from him.

Now:  Will you marry me?

26.  Freebie question.

Extra headcanon:  along with riding a rollercoaster with someone every 9 years and 34 days because that's how old he was when his dad passed, his favourite is the Mosaic because his parents took him on it for his 9th birthday.  Then a month later Arthur kicked the bucket, so Gil likes the memory of his father.

[hachuna]

@natsuni-ghostmoon here you go! A dark story about Bryan in the Abbey!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/61939522

Story title: "Traumas"

Fandom: Beyblade

Characters: Bryan Kuznetsov, Boris Balkov, Tala Ivanov (brief appearance)

Rating/warnings: T -- swearing and references/depictions to canon child abuse/domestic abuse

Short summary:

“Try… harder…” Boris sounded as though he were speaking through grit teeth. Why? Why, out of all his soldiers, did he seem to think Bryan was so special? Because Bryan was stronger than the others… So was Tala. So were Ian and Spencer. “As soon as you learn to let go of your emotions…”

“Nothing can hurt me anymore,” Bryan recited.

X

A glimpse of what Bryan endured in the Abbey in order to become the ruthless Blader we saw in OG Beyblade.

Author notes and story under the cut:

How do I say this? English dub Bryan/Boris sounds a bit off, like he's reading from the script, but I didn't think it was in a bad way. We know that the Abbey was not a *~happy~* place, and we know that Bryan underwent some kind of conditioning to make him more emotionless. I've wanted to write a story about how that happened for a long time, and my Secret Santa assignment for @natsuni-ghostmoon on Tumblr gave me an excuse to finally write that.

In their description, they wrote: "I like horror and I like cute fluff things and suspense and thriller and comedy/trash/parody/crack treated seriously. I like it dark and I like it colorful."

But while writing this, I kept thinking, "isn't this too dark for a Christmas gift exchange? Aren't Secret Santas supposed to be cheerful?" A lot of people posted their gifts before mine, and after seeing the other cute and colorful gifts, I'm now I'm convinced I owe natsuni a redo! I hope you enjoy it regardless!

Story time:

“Hit him harder,” Boris demanded, the white of his teeth splitting the darkness like a whiplash as he grinned. His voice continuously rose in pitch, and he nearly trembled with excitement, thrilled to see what the boy’s next move would be. It wasn't unusual for him to personally oversee Bryan’s training, to remind him on a regular basis that Bryan possessed something special that the other Abbey boys didn’t have.

 

On more than one occasion, he had told Bryan, “You remind me of myself when I was your age”. At some unidentifiable point in time, that stopped being a bad thing. Nice guys finish last and all that. Only the strong survive. Second place is just the first loser.

 

The more he won, the easier his life became. The more Boris gave him preferential treatment and made his life easier. Bryan was not a weak, terrified child anymore.

 

"See if you can make him cry."

 

And Boris was not talking to Bryan this time.

 

Both Bryan and his opponent were covered in what look like EKG stickers, and partially exposed to the cold Russian weather, with only the Abbey’s crappy heating and their pants and shoes for protection. The stickers, instead of monitoring their heart rates, tended to make them beat faster – or sometimes stop. They connected the boys to their Beyblades, somehow, and utilized an intricate combination of tiny cameras, Bluetooth technology, and sensors to record data from the boys’ matches. Each strike also happened to result in a pain that ranged in intensity from searing to almost unbearable – it had caused Bryan to crumple to his knees on more than one occasion. It had caused his lungs to seize up, the muscles in his limbs to lock, and his mind to go blank. He’d watched Ian faint from being shocked once, seen multiple boys throw up or have seizures.

 

It was supposed to condition them for future battles.

 

Over time, Bryan had developed an uncanny ability to ignore the pain. Now it was almost like white noise when it happened to him.

 

Except for today – 

 

Bryan grit his teeth on reflex as the first punch was thrown. He told himself it didn’t hurt, even as his back hit the ground, next to the chipped attack ring of his Beyblade. The fall didn’t bruise his pride, because he had none left since accepting his role as Boris’s puppet.

 

He recalled the boiler room from last week, where the boys were told it was training for a potential future mission in Africa. He recalled his first week in the Abbey, when he beat Tala in a Beybattle and was subsequently given the option of beating Tala again or watching someone else do it. The first time Boris’s team of scientists told him to hurt an innocent animal, watch it struggle.

 

None of those had made him grit his teeth the way he was now, so hard he felt they might shatter, an ache in his jaw overriding at least some of the pain from this Beybattle. Bryan had gotten too used to winning, too accustomed to hurting, to remember what it felt like. Now it  made his stomach twist into decorative knots. His knees trembled under the strain of keeping him upright.

 

At least at first. Then Bryan remembered the rumors.

 

There were the rumors–

 

The rumors were what motivated Bryan these days. They were the reason he could say, with absolute certainty, that if Boris ordered him to do something he would do it. Tough as life was, some part of him was determined to be even tougher. And at least by being a good soldier, he could avoid the worst of what life in the Abbey had to offer.

 

Boris called the other boy's name again, but not Bryan's.

 

It shouldn't have mattered, but it did.

 

A loose curse escaped Bryan's lips as his Beyblade glanced off the side of the stadium. That part of the stadium was synced to his left side, and when the censors in the stadium registered the hit, it was like a knife was being twisted into his shoulder socket. Pain made it hard to concentrate.

 

Had it always been this bad? Bryan didn’t think so, but pressed his lips into a thin line, knowing better than to ask. 

 

With his focus completely shattered, Bryan’s Beyblade flew out of the stadium.

 

Best two out of three. Bryan had won the first round and lost the second.

 

…Fuck .

 

That meant there was still one round left to go.

 

He staggered to his feet, aware of the weight of Boris’s disappointed scowl behind him – what, now the old man was going to start cheering for him? – and prepared for the next round. His arms felt heavy. His chest felt constricted, pinched, a phantom fist curled around his ribcage and squeezing harder with each breath. His legs didn't want to support the weight of his body any longer, protesting against it, but somehow supported him anyway.

 

Because he was stronger now, Bryan reminded himself. The droplet of sweat running down the length of his back wouldn't convince him otherwise.

 

Bryan’s fingers shook as he fastened his Beyblade to his launcher. Exhaustion. There was a small crack in the attack ring that did not look good. Anxiety spiked his thoughts – no , Brian forced the emotions down, it’s just a simple observation. Nothing to get worried about.

 

His opponent, aggravatingly, was able to smile at him through the pain. The sweat on the other boy’s face gave away the fact that he wasn’t immune to it.

 

The scientist next to Boris jotted down a few notes, muttering, “Bryan’s heart rate has begun to decelerate… at a rate of four beats per second.”

 

“He’s stabilizing from the shock,” Boris replied. “Good. Start the countdown for the next round.”

 

Lazy old fool. Bryan bit the words back, focusing his eyes on the Beystadium instead. Strangely, even his anger seemed muted compared to normal. 

The researcher accompanying Boris obeyed orders, and Bryan counted along in his head: three, two, one–

 

He had turned into a predator waiting to strike, and only a few seconds later, the battle was over. The attack ring on his Bey had completely split in two, but his opponent was even worse for wear.

 

Somehow, Bryan had won.

 

"A suicide rush," Boris muttered. He sounded impressed, though perhaps that was Bryan’s imagination. "You're lucky your Beyblade held out…"

 

Boris’s voice was barely audible over the sound of the other boy's pained screams. Had he still been able to feel his arms, he would have ripped the damned stickers off, risking punishment for disrupting Boris’s observations and research in the process.

 

"You could have tied," Boris added, as if that were worse than losing.

 

“That wasn’t possible,” Bryan insisted.

 

He couldn’t explain how, but he’d known that he could win with an all out attack at the start. It was like the world had almost begun moving in slow motion, like he was seeing everything with perfect clarity for the first time.

 

When he looked at Boris, Bryan saw him smile. The smile quickly faded into a mosaic of colors, before transforming into a bright blur of white. 

 

A pair of arms – Boris’s arms – caught him as he tumbled forward.

 

“Why did you…?”

 

“Because I had no choice, Bryan.” Bryan’s conscience was fading quickly, and what little was left was being exhausted by confusion. The last thing Bryan heard before closing his eyes, allowing the painful white to turn into black, was, “I didn’t want to cheer against you, but it had to be done. My turning against you caused the emotional strife that was to be the catalyst for your development.”

 

Arrogant, lazy old fool. As if your praise really meant that much to me…

 

Immediately afterwards – at least, that’s what it felt like – Bryan woke up in the Abbey’s shoddy excuse for a firmary. A damp cloth rested on his forehead in the absence of painkillers, providing nothing to numb his aching head aside from a pleasantly cool sensation on his skin. His useless sense of touch was the first thing to return, informing him that he was still hurting and cold and shirtless. The soreness in his limbs and chest kept Bryan stapled to the mattress, unable to move. Even the effort it would have taken to roll on his side was too much.

 

Sight followed soon afterwards, after blinking a few times to bring color back into his vision. Not that there were many colors to look at. The concrete gray walls of the infirmary greeted him, as well as the more familiar sight of Tala’s observant frown.

 

Neither was worth admiring. In fact, Bryan almost would've preferred going blind.

 

“Bryan.”

 

Bryan closed his eyes again. Not in the mood for this. Not a good time for another lecture .

 

“Bryan!”

 

But, as usual, he didn’t have much choice.

 

“Yes, Tala?” Bryan slurred. “Honestly. You’re such a mother hen.”

 

His voice was so… hoarse. He didn’t want a lecture, he wanted a glass of fucking water. He’d eat the snow off the ground if he had to.

 

“I–”

 

“Good,” the sound of Boris’s voice lowered the temperature of the room by at least ten degrees, and Tala shut up immediately, “he’s awake.”

 

Bryan made a noncommittal grunt.

 

On the other hand, there were times listening to Boris was actually preferable to the noise inside of his head.

 

A memory of pain and fear similar to what he’d felt today swirled behind his eyelids in its place. Memories of a violent and angry father, a mother who never wanted to be bothered and threw alcohol bottles at him if he defied her.

 

“You think that hurts? Son, I’ll give you something to cry over–”

 

“Don’t cry at me, ‘Mommy, I’m hungry’! Don't leave your mattress without my permission, or you will regret it!” 

 

Bryan’s eyes fluttered open again, just in time to hear, “You know I hate doing this to you, Bryan.” Not the first time Boris had said this, or something similar. Also the closest thing to an apology that Bryan had ever heard from an adult. “It has to be done though… Bryan.”

 

“I’m trying.”

 

Bryan was speaking through a mouth filled with cotton. His tongue did not want to work, and more importantly–

 

The room was fuzzy again, not from pain or an ill reminder of the beating he’d recently taken, but from tears.

 

“Try… harder…” Boris sounded as though he were speaking through grit teeth. Why? Why, out of all his soldiers, did he seem to think Bryan was so special? Because Bryan was stronger than the others… So was Tala. So were Ian and Spencer. “As soon as you learn to let go of your emotions…”

 

“Nothing can hurt me anymore,” Bryan recited.

 

Did the training hurt more than a fist? Did it hurt more than being pushed or starved did?

 

“That’s right. Throw away everything that keeps you weak; all that fear, the sorrow, the remorse – you’ll be stronger without those things. Why, think about how much stronger you’ve already become since you joined the Abbey! And stop–”

 

And stop–

 

His parents' voices finish the sentence before he or Boris can: Stop fucking crying .

[blackcatruse]

𝔣𝔯𝔬𝔪 𝔞𝔰𝔥𝔢𝔰

«prev. ❃ next» ❃ first chapter ❃ m.list ❃ ao3 pairing: r. haitani/fem!reader ↳ she/her, fem descriptors, nickname ❃ chapter synopsis: brunch with the haitanis and trying to figure out who's after the three deities. a normal day, actually. word count: 1.9k chapter cw(s): swearing, possible ooc a/n: you'll never guess who was so excited to start posting ashes on tumblr that she forgot to mention that this is an AU if you couldn't already tell :'D it loosely follows the Three Deities and Kanto Manji → Bonten pipeline. there is no timeleaping

You weren’t a stranger to emotional whiplash, but if someone told you that you’d be casually lounging with the Haitani brothers on their turf, you’d laugh in their face. Yet, here you were. To any normal person, hanging out with people that had beat you bloody a few weeks ago was an incomprehensible thought, but to you it was just another Tuesday.

Were you suspicious of their motives? Undoubtedly. Did you care? Not when the older Haitani had offered to buy you food. You may be a fuck up, but you weren’t an idiot. Free food was free food. And that’s how you ended up here at a quaint little bakery sitting across from the Haitani brothers. Ran was at least trying to make conversation between savoring bites of his mont blanc. Rindou stared out the window like he’d rather be anywhere else. If you were being honest, you wished he was too. But Ran and Rindou were a package deal whether you liked it or not. Couldn’t find one without encountering the other.

Your fork clinked against your plate as you cut into the crepe you had ordered. The sweetness permeated in your mouth as you took a bite and the tang of berries countered with a tart harmony. It took everything in you to not moan at the taste. After living off of cup noodles and prepackaged bento, something like this was a delicacy you wouldn’t take for granted. Part of you started to dream about everything you’d eat once you were free.

A jarring ring disrupted the quiet air and tamped down the beginnings of your daydream. Sighing, you grabbed your phone from your pocket and stared at the unknown caller ID. “Gotta take this,” you said, flipping your phone open and pinning the phone between your ear and shoulder.

“Suzaku, what’s up?” You twiddled with your fork between your fingers.

“Lotus what the hell are you doing?”

“Pleasant as always,” you remarked. “I told you, I’m following a lead on this case. I think it could be important.”

“You have three days.”

“Yeah, so keep it cool for three days,” you told him, rolling your eyes. You tapped the prongs of your fork against the plate and you bounced your leg. “I don’t know why you’re rushing me, it’s not like it’s your ass on the line.”

“And you’re my subordinate. Do you know how hard it was to convince Kirin to let you do whatever the hell it is you’re doing?”

It was true that Suzaku was sticking his neck out for you, but it didn’t change the fact that at the end of the day, all the fault would fall on you. As it always did. You sighed. “Yeah, I know. I’ll meet with you tomorrow and let you know what I find.”

Suzaku was cut off as you ended the call. You stabbed at your crepe again before looking up to see both Haitani brothers looking at you. Right. Well, it wasn’t like you gave anything away.

“Trouble in paradise?” Ran asked, resting his chin in his hand.

“Ew, gross,” you snorted. “Suzaku’s been hounding me for results or else he’s shipping me back to where I came from.”

“Hell?”

You and Ran turned your heads to look at the younger Haitani. He didn’t look smug or tired or anything. His face was unreadable. You blinked a few times and a grin broke out on Ran’s face. You didn’t miss the glare that Rindou gave his older brother.

“Ha! You’re funny,” you said, pointing your fork at Rindou. “I wish he was sending me to hell instead. It’d probably be way cozier.”

You set the fork down before they could realize your hands had started shaking. You had a persona you had to keep up, after all. Putting a hand over your face, you groaned in exasperation before regaining your composure. “So,” you said, looking the brothers in the eye. “Why call me out here?”

“What? We can’t be friendly?” Ran’s shit-eating grin was borderline antagonistic.

“No, actually,” you deadpanned.

“That’s probably the smartest thing that’s come out of your mouth,” Rindou muttered, barely loud enough for you to catch.

You picked up your fork and jabbed it at him. “Shut it.” Another breath to rein in your irritation. “The job still doesn’t have a date, so something else is going on here.”

Ran tilted his head. Annoyance flashed behind his eyes as a lazy smile returned to his face. Rindou kept on glaring at you. Truly the peace between enemies could never remain. Not that it was surprising, but it did take longer than you’d originally thought for things to get this tense. They couldn’t kill you yet and you couldn’t tell if you should lament or exalt the fact.

“Did you find anything on your faux deals?” you asked, returning to your crepe.

“Nothing,” Ran answered. “They said they didn’t know who hired them. Whoever it was covered their tracks too well.”

“Yeah, our guys said the same. But they had an extra layer of people in between the people they were blackmailing and the ones who gave the orders. I tracked down the blackmailers but they didn’t know anything. They met at odd hours and never came face to face with the boss.”

You wouldn’t say that you had expected this to be easy, but you’d at least hoped for something. You had gotten ahold of Kichiro and that’s how you’d found the people blackmailing him and Hifumi, but those people didn’t get you any further. Without information, you were going to have to move to Plan B, which was risky. You wanted to avoid involving Kichiro and Hifumi more than necessary, but in order to get the one pulling the strings, you’d have to fall into the web.

Imagining that meeting with the Four Symbols made you chuckle. You doubted they’d approve of it. Hell, three of them didn’t even believe that there was a plot to get rid of the Three Deities. They would be stupid to try anything, you could hear Byakko’s snide comments. You could feel his eyes roam over your body without him being there. A shiver ran through your body. Yeah, this was ridiculous. You bit off more than you could chew. You would die before you got your freedom.

Ran snapped his fingers in front of your face, bringing you out of your spiraling thoughts. “What’s going on in that pretty little head?”

“Just thinkin’ about how much shit I’m gonna be in,” you answered honestly. You didn’t really see a point in lying to them. You didn’t possess any knowledge that would be of use. “Though,” you laughed at yourself bitterly, “that’s no different than how things have been.”

“Can we help?”

This time, you and Rindou snapped your attention to Ran. “What?!” Rindou all but screeched.

“Why the fuck are you offering? What’s the catch?” you asked warily.

“Consider it something like insurance,” Ran said lazily. “We can’t get our big jobs done if you’re out of commission. If we can’t do the jobs, we won’t get the money that would bring us to the top. The logical thing would be to help you overcome this so our plans don’t get messed up. It also works in our favor because more than likely, your setup and our phony deals are connected.”

You certainly didn’t doubt that. Having the Haitani brothers’ help on this investigation could give you promising results, but there was no more time for sleuthing. You had to weave a delicate trap and get answers that way. You would have to use Kichiro and Hifumi as bait, and you’d really hoped to avoid that.

“I can’t promise your safety,” you admitted to the two teens sitting across from you. “I’ve minimized your role as much as possible, and hopefully once you’re done, they’ll leave you alone.”

“They’ve been hounding us since our negotiations came to a standstill. I don’t think they had much patience to begin with, but it’s wearing thinner and thinner.”

This was the first time you’d met Hifumi, and you thought that he was gloomy. Dark, unkempt hair and even darker eye bags were his most distinguishing features. Kichiro sat next to his friend and kept wringing his hands. You wished you could tell them that it would be okay, but you weren’t about to lie to them. Even with your best efforts, there was the looming possibility that these two boys could be killed before they reached adulthood. Would this plan only prolong the inevitable?

You shook your head. No, you couldn’t let yourself think that. “All right, you can tell them that a deal has finally been made. I wrote some random numbers that you can give them to make it sound better. Don’t give any sort of hint away that we know what’s going on.” You handed a scrap of paper over to Hifumi, who took it with trembling hands.

Continuing on, you debriefed them, “There will be three other runners besides me. They’re among the top in Suzaku’s division, so your client doesn’t need to worry about the job getting done. When talking to them, be sure to get the locations they want the deal to occur, how much we’ll be carrying, passwords, who we’ll be meeting with, and whatnot. The more detailed the better, but whatever they give us will be useful.”

“Will it work?” Kichiro asked quietly.

“I don’t know,” you said plainly. “I’m trying to get as much of the burden off you as possible, but if whoever’s pulling the strings gets suspicious, there isn’t much I can do.”

“And Wuxing agreed to this?” Hifumi looked you in the eyes. There was nothing behind the depths of his eternal stare.

“It took some convincing,” you told him. “But they’re willing to cooperate. If this goes awry, then it’s my fault. I’ll take the brunt of it.”

You didn’t really want to be a hero or a savior or a martyr. If you were a more selfish person, you’d just let the stupid kids get what they had coming. But you weren’t a more selfish person. Your stupid bleeding heart took too much pity on kids who shouldn’t be tangled in this transition from delinquency to crime syndicates. You would do everything you could to make sure that Kichiro and Hifumi never see the underworld of Tokyo again, but there was truly no guarantee anything would work. If something happened to them... Well, you weren’t a stranger to guilt either. You’d just carry it like you always do.

“When you get what we need to know, call me. Once everything is coordinated between us, you guys stay out of it. Lay low. Skip town. I don’t care, just get out of here.” You snapped your gum loudly and put your feet up on the table.

“If we leave, won’t that tip them off that we’re up to something?” Kichiro finally looked up at you as he asked his question.

“Yeah, I guess it wouldn’t look the best.” You rubbed the back of your head. “Well, we’re just gonna have to hope that when we get to the bottom of things, you’ll be left alone.”

Hifumi snorted with a cynical scoff. Normally you’d snap at someone who did that to you, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to blame him. Everything was a gamble here and even if the risks felt low, anything was possible out on the streets. Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. It was almost your mantra at this point.

Please do not reupload, translate, or steal my work! If it isn't here or on my ao3, it's not me! Likes & reblogs appreciated! <3 Dividers courtesy of @/cafekitsune & @/firefly-graphics

[x0401x]

When the irony is almost too ironic

So now that I’ve posted the rest of the character highlights (had to split them into two because of Tumblr’s image limit), I might as well comment on them too. Need to get this off my chest for a moment.

The highlights of Masaki, Eisuke and Koushirou in particular gave me whiplash. They threw me back to my reviews of S2 in ways that feel oddly cathartic. Like how they just… keep confirming literally everything I pointed out as negative in S2. It’s weird because those things were all so obvious, but the way they’re written in the fanbook almost exactly how I talked about them is… well, it’s really something. Some of it even dates back to things I said regarding S1 six years ago. I don’t know how to describe this but it sort of feels like being vindicated in a morbid way, if that makes any sense.

I just wonder… when whoever was in charge of writing this text typed it down, did they actually believe that it had anything to do with the source material at all? Because it… kinda reads like they did? “The only thing he thought about was improving his skills in order to change his grandfather’s opinion of him” really sounds like that’s what they got from Masaki’s backstory and, uh. How. How do you miss the point by so far? It literally went in the opposite direction. We already knew that but still.

Also gotta love that it says his mindset changed when he watched the boys doing archery in earnest, instead of Minato being the one who changed it when he begged Masaki not to leave him. KyoAni really went out of its way to make sure that there’s absolutely nothing exclusive in their relationship this time around. Everything that was originally a them-only thing in the novel has been turned into a Masaki and the boys' thing in S2.

Speaking of the team, the implication that Masaki started out not rejoicing in his disciples’ development but learned to do it eventually is just brutal. I get what KyoAni is trying to convey to the viewers and that they’re making up for a lot of what they didn’t show in S1, but the timing is terrible and it’s a contradiction of basic Zen principles. Principles that Masaki had already been shown to follow prior to this.

Alas, that’s just one contradiction of many. Masaki is probably the character with the biggest amount of incoherences in how he is portrayed in the anime. My guess is the animators were so focused on collecting material about archery that collecting material about Shinto priesthood probably wasn’t a priority. More like they were so focused on the boys that Masaki was relegated to the sidelines. And I say this a lot but have to say it again: that’s what happens when you try to write Masaki separately from Minato. It goes off the rails.

Other than this, there’s also confirmations of some of my suspicions. Masaki almost telling the boys what they got wrong, then deciding to do it the Zen way and letting them find out for themselves only after getting a cue from Tomio is one thing that I hadn’t been so sure if I was just overthinking or not, but turns out not. This is the anime’s way of telling the viewers that Masaki, too, is growing as a teacher, but they could’ve done something equivalent that wouldn’t make him seem contradictorily inexperienced.

I say contradictorily because, again, he has been teaching these kids in the Zen way (indirect, mystic, full of puzzles, fuck around and find out for yourself, master throws a question and disciple has to give his own answer) from the very beginning. Even in S1 he was already doing that. But in S2, just like the boys suddenly forget how to work as a team, Masaki seems to suddenly forget how he had been teaching them until then. So he suddenly becomes a greenhorn as well, because it’s totally realistic for a high schooler like Eisuke to be the perfect teacher for a bunch of other high schoolers, but a 5th dan has to start again from zero. They could’ve just animated Masaki’s fight with Minato and let that be his greenhorn moment, but their relationship isn’t supposed to exist in S2, so this just isn’t an option, apparently.

Speaking of Eisuke, now I finally understand why his relationship with Shuu and Minato felt so off in the anime to me. In the novel, his beef was with them, not with Saionji. Saionji chose them as disciples because he felt something fateful about meeting them. It’s never explained in the novel, but a while after I finished reading volume 3, I got hit with a thought. I felt this was the author’s way of hinting that the three of them are an allegory to Amida Sanzon, with Saionji being Amida Nyorai, Shuu being Seishi Bosatsu and Minato being Kannon Bosatsu. Same logic applies to the Minato-Masaki-Shuu trinity, since Masaki has also taught Shuu at some point, with Masaki being Amida in this case. I imagine that Ayano wrote about it so vaguely in volume 1 because she didn’t know whether or not she could delve this deep into Buddhist territory back then.

But in any case, the way that the novel establishes the conflict with Eisuke is: Minato and Shuu are special. Not in general, but to Saionji, specifically. Teaching them is his calling and being taught by him is their calling. But all Eisuke gets from this is the first part. That Minato and Shuu are special, and he is not. That somehow they were regarded more highly than him, who is older and more experienced, when actually, they were not. Saionji simply felt that it was his mission to teach them, and he was right about that. Eisuke could’ve tried to find his own calling with another master—one who perhaps could teach him in uchiokoshi style. Instead, he chose to be immature and became obsessed with proving himself superior to Minato and Shuu. He could not stand the idea that little kids with no previous experience, one that got apprenticeship through connections and one by dumb luck, were worthier to be taught than him and even his uncle.

Eisuke also seems to have felt like there was something fateful about Saionji choosing them over him. The way he talked about it felt a lot like chosen people ideology, which even Shuu sometimes seemed to believe whenever he went on about being “loved by the god of archery”. He’s pretty much looking down on Saionji by thinking Saionji was mistaken to choose Minato and Shuu over him, and it’s extremely arrogant to try and prove Saionji wrong by defeating Minato and Shuu. It’s also childish logic, because defeating them would prove nothing, actually. And that’s the point of the novel. Same point as Zen Buddhism and archery: those who hold grudges can never reach spiritual adulthood. Eisuke is, as his name itself implies, forever a child on the inside.

But all of that makes Eisuke look kinda lame in the eyes of the audience, doesn’t it? And Yamamura Takuya is having none of that with his new bias. Nuh-uh, the ones who have to look bad are Saionji, and by extension, Minato and Shuu. Because pulling the rug from under the main characters’ feet is the smartest possible move.

In the anime, as confirmed by the fanbook, Eisuke’s problem is Saionji. Not because she chose Minato and Shuu over him, but because she rejected his uncle. In the novel, Saionji rejecting Shigeru was also something that pissed him off, but his main problem was with Minato and Shuu. In the anime, that’s the opposite, which is why Eisuke is way less hostile and childish towards them in it. The difference that this makes is: the anime makes Eisuke look good in detriment of Minato and Shuu. With him being angry at Saionji for her being unfair to Shigeru, his attitude and motives seem justified. It’s not about him, it’s about someone he loves and admires. That one hurts more and doesn’t make him seem arrogant at all for defying her decision. It even almost seems like Saionji is in the wrong for hurting his family’s honor in certain respects, and that he rightfully wants closure from it but isn’t going the best way about it, which is his one and only mistake. And with Saionji being the target of his anger, he doesn’t need to be as antagonistic with Minato and Shuu in particular.

Now this might make people think, “Isn’t that better than in the novel, then?” That is subjective, but objectively speaking, this is a narrative incongruency. Novel!Eisuke is an example of how narrow-mindedness and lack of humility can lead one astray. By taking away his arrogance and just making him angry while justifying this anger, they’re basically taking away the reason for him to fail. It also makes him more endearing than the actual protagonists and makes the audience want to cheer for him instead of them (which a lot of people did). And none of that is an accident, because the director himself says it in this fanbook that he likes Eisuke personally. Or the traits that he can identify with, at least.

On the topic of Eisuke being the director’s bias, it’s amazing how the other members of Tsujimine basically exist in the anime not as their own person but as extensions of Eisuke. They’re there to make him look better and to do things for him. Koushirou’s highlight made me realize that we only ever get any information about the other members in relation to Eisuke, save for when Enyuu had a crush on Rika, but this was meant to give the girls more screen time rather than give him a personality. I always wondered why Reiji, who is so flashy in the novel, was so meek in the anime, but now I guess it’s because no one can catch more attention than Eisuke. Literally all data there is in the fanbook about Koushirou and the others is linked to Eisuke. His highlight is only about what he does to help Eisuke, even though the anime never explains why Koushirou goes that far for him in the first place. It’s not interested in exploring Koushirou himself. The director’s only interest is Eisuke.

S2 is such a frustrating topic to write about. So many things were done well and so many were done horribly. I feel terrible whenever I analyze anything Tsurune-related nowadays.

[gildatheplant]

Review Time!!! Thor the Dark World

OK so I finally caved and got Disney + because I was feeling nostalgic for the MCU, and especially two of my all time superhero faves Loki and Thor.

Despite my love for these two characters I've felt pretty burned out of the superhero genre the last couple years. Combined with not having access to Disney + when the Loki series first came out and hearing mixed reviews for both it and Thor: Love and Thunder, I didn't really feel inspired to check them out.

A month or so ago something (probably a post floating onto my tumblr feed) inspired me to finally check out Loki and figure out how to get Disney +. While I have things I love about the show, and things I thought could've been done much better, it made me feel seriously nostalgic for the Thor films....which led me to a rewatch of Thor the Dark World aka the only Thor film I had watched only once.

And after rewatching it...I gotta say it gets a bad wrap. Does it have issues? Yes, yes it definitely does. But overall, it's not nearly as bad as a lot of fans make it out to be. Not one of Marvel's top films by any stretch, but also nowhere near as bad as some of Marvel's later films.

The Bad: Honestly, I only have two major beefs with this film- its shifts in tone and its villain. Marvel is pretty famous for blending action, drama, and comedy in its superhero films with varying results. The first Iron Man and The Avengers balanced these elements almost perfectly. The Dark World...does not. Much of the comedy feels forced, and it's made even worse by moments of severe mood whiplash. The most glaring example is the shift from Frigga's heartbreaking and beautiful funeral to Dr. Selvig running around with no pants on. Such a sharp change in tone can leave audiences feeling frustrated and annoyed at the sudden emotional shift. The sharp tone changes are also tied strongly to the Asgardian storylines vs. the Earth storylines- with the Asgardian tone feeling more serious and heartfelt, while the Earth tone mostly feels too silly.

As for the villains I actually really liked the overall design of the dark Elves. Their wide eyed, blank white masks were effectively creepy and gave them a completely different vibe than the type of elves moviegoers are used to seeing. Malekith and Kursed were done dirty though. I remember reading at the time that the actors themselves were angry about how much of their portrayals were left on the cutting room floor, which is a real shame because Christopher Eccleston can play great villains. It's a shame we're never going to get a director's cut because I'd be curious to see how much that could improve the film's villain issue. We spend so little time with them that it's hard to feel anything really for them.

The Good: As I said, I actually think this film gets a bad wrap. While it has its lows, it also has its highs. My favourite aspect, of course, were the character arcs for Thor and Loki. This movie is the first to really show Thor as the strategist and leader he needs to be to be a king. It also shows how much he's grown since his first film- prioritizing the safety of his people over battle and glory. Chris Hemsworth gives a great performance that highlights Thor's growing maturity, compassion, and charm.

Despite Loki not having a lot of screentime, every time he is onscreen, it adds something to his character AND the characters around him. We see Loki argue with his father about the value of mortal lives, where it seems like Odin has far more respect for them...until we're later shown through Odin's dismissive and almost cruel treatment of Jane that Loki likely learned his viewpoint on them from his father. Loki also mirrors Odin's words to Thor about Jane, with both of them pointing out he should give up on her because of her short lifespan. Interestingly, it is Loki, not Odin, that shows Jane the most compassion in the end- he shields her from harm with his own body then pushes her to safety when she is shot at. As much as Loki's words may resemble his father's, his actions demonstrate his closeness to his mother.

As good as Thor and Loki are, they are best when they are onscreen together, and this film really highlights that. As vicious as their arguments get, from Thor declaring he has lost all hope for Loki and will not hesitate to kill him to Loki brutally pointing out how Jane is going to die long before Thor, there's still a strong brotherly bond between them. The way that no matter how angry they get with each other, they can't help teasing, joking and, ultimately, having each other's backs. It's telling that the kindest words Odin says to Thor in this film were actually said by Loki in disguise.

Pretty much everything to do with Queen Frigga is fantastic. Her heartbreaking conversation with Loki in the prison, her fierce protectiveness of Jane, her use of magic that so resembles Loki's, the way she was totally kicking Malekith's ass, the beauty and tragedy of her funeral.

Heimdall, the Warriors Three, and Sif have relatively small roles, but they make the most of them. Heimdall's taking down of the elves' ship is great, but what I love most is that he acts as both loyal subject and mentor to Thor. Sif is given an element of tragedy in the film as it becomes clear that she is in love with Thor but he only loves her as a friend. It makes her continued loyalty and friendship to him seem all the more noble.

Lastly, this film has one of my favourite cameos in any MCU movie with Chris Hemsworth playing Loki playing Captain America. Honestly, I like it more than Hugh Jackman's cameo in X-Men First Class, and that one was tough to beat.