#this poor man. fuck

[localcanadiancreature62]

Oh my fucking god. Your tags aria. Fuck

the way he poses his hands is so 🥺<3

i respect all of you that draw his hat- i tried, and a dixie cup up there would have looked better LMAO

Inspiration post under cut!

[morganbritton132]

Eddie spends a month trying to tell Steve that he’s gay without actually saying it because Steve has decided as his adult male best friend that he needs to get Eddie a girlfriend. Eddie does not want a girlfriend.

Eventually he’s just like, “You know how Robin is…Robin? I’m like that, but Eddie.”

“Riiiight,” Steve says but what he’s apparently thinking is, ‘Eddie likes alternative chicks. Should’ve guessed that.’ Because the setups don’t stop.

Everything comes to an eventual point and Eddie just explodes like ‘gay! gay!’ His noodle arms are flailing all over the place so Steve thinks he’s gesturing at him.

Steve’s just like, “No, man. I’m not gay. I like girls too.”

“What now?” Eddie stops. “Too? I had a chance this whole time?!”

“What are you talking about? I’m not a girl.”

“Oh my god.”

[lazylittledragon]

did somebody say dadkarios

[runningupthatvecna]

terrified wet boi

x

[maybmila]

To dance better than fire itself

[turtletoria]

man having the worst day of his life about to have the second worst day of his life

[slymanner]

hurt my heart why dontcha.

[jedi-starbird]

APLAP (Assigned Pathetic Lifeform at Padawanship)

New padawan Obi-Wan trying to figure out how the FUCK to make his master listen and not abandon him to go running off following "the will of the force" when it hits him. Qui-Gon is perfectly happy stopping and taking care of pathetic life forms, but not Obi-Wan. That's it. He's always been prepared, always been dutiful, strong, self-sufficient.

He's cracked the code. He needs to be more pathetic.

The next time he senses Qui-Gon's about to run off he coordinates a scene of utmost pathetic-ness, that is, he throws himself into the nearest fountain. He trudges up to his master sopping wet, water-logged robes swallowing him, with hair sticking to his face and containing bits of algae from the fountain. He mumbles out an apology for being clumsy before looking up at Qui-Gon with the biggest, most woeful eyes possible to ask if he happened to bring any spare robes (he didn't, Obi-Wan knows this because he is usually the one to pack spare robes for them both). His wet hair is dripping water into his eyes that's beginning to turn them an irritated red, and there's algae sliding down the side of his face, it really is masterful work.

"Oh...I'm sure I'll be able to find something by myself, it's okay Master, I know you had important work to do."

Qui-Gon visibly hesitates. Obi-Wan starts shivering. He turns to walk away. He's stopped by his Master's hand on his shoulder. His Master, who walks back with him, who gets clean clothes from their hosts, who has folded like wet flimsi and even explains his stupid, stupid plan before choosing to hotwire a hoverbike with a passenger seat! Oh, Obi-Wan really has cracked the code!

Afterwards, Obi-Wan stages an increasingly pitiful accident for himself every time his patented 'Qui-Gon Jinn Bullshit' detector goes off. Eventually, his Master stops leaving him behind at all, even giving him funny looks when he turns around and Obi-Wan isn’t next to him. It never fails to make Obi-Wan grin and run to catch up. Sure, his reputation as a perfect padawan is in tatters, alongside his dignity, but it’s a small price to pay for a place at his Master’s side, for him to remember there’s a place for Obi-Wan there.

When the ray shields come up on Naboo, Qui-Gon doesn't charge ahead and leave his padawan behind, he hasn't for years. He waits for Obi-Wan because it feels wrong to do otherwise, his padawan belongs at his side.

Much, much later, when Obi-Wan is drinking to the end of the war with friends, Commander Cress will ask him how he kept General Jinn from running off for entire decade. Obi-Wan laughs, informs him, and resolutely ignores the scene Quinlan is making as the man cackles and pulls up a book to shove at them both, titled Classical Conditioning 101: A guide to subtle psychological manipulation.

[rhiangalaxy]

A Wild Mobei-Jun Appears! (IAC Pt.5) (First/Prev/Next)

[ID: A Scum Villain Comic. The first panel shows a back view of Chibi!Plant Yuan watches the spirit eagle screens, the main one featuring Gongyi Xiao and Luo Binghe, to which a bubble next to him shows a :D!" face. Then the Spirit Eagle screens shatter, causing Chibi!SY to jump slightly. He turns with a concerned expression, frighteningly saying "A-Die-" As other voices scream out "What's going on???" "Lord Yue!" "What is the meaning of this?" "The Spirit Eagles!"

Panel two has Shen Qingqiu placing a hand on SY's shoulder, the other holding a closed fan with a concerned expression and saying "Stay here. Zhangmen-Shixiong and I will enter the barrier." SY protests with his fist slightly raised with a "But!" To which Chibi!SQQ points to him with an aggrieved look and states "You are to stay with your Mu-Shishu and Wei-Shishu. Understood?" Chibi!SY looks down at his fists with an "Understood" a box next to him saying "Already plotting his escape."

Panel three has Wei Qingwei and Mu Qingfang appearing behind SY to his surprise. WQW assures SQQ by saying "Don't worry. We'll keep an eye on him Shixiong." MQF with a concerned look has an hand placed on SY's arm and says "Just focus on getting the disciples to safety." Chibi!SQQ nods with a pinched look. It cuts to battle-torn Luo Binghe and Gongyi Xiao convered in various scratches and blood, both wielding their spiritual swords. LBH with a grimace states "Somethings not right..." To which GYX replies "I agree, I'm sure our Shizuns will do something-"

Panel Four is completely drawn in chibi style. A yell of "Shizhi!" startles both GYX and LBH. SQH appears with a closed eye nervous smile with his hands raised out as a bubble representing LBH goes "Shang-Shishu?" SQH replies "Ah, fancy meeting you guys here!" GYX asks "Have you come to help Lord Shang?" SQH nervously goes "Uh...yes! Of course! I'm here to get you both to-" He's interrupted by a rumble that causes LBH and GYX to tense up and stumble in confusion, LBH yelling out "What's going on?"

The final panel depicts Mobei Jun standing in front of the entrance to the Endless Abyss, an angered look on his face muttering the words "Huan Hua..." Chibi!LBH glares towards him whilst Chibi!GYX looks on with a concerned but confused look questioning "A demon lord?" Chibi!SQH stands nervously behind them, sweating with a :[ face. End ID]

[saragrosie]

As promised, incredibly stupid s4-5 drawings

[endrae]

the ocean eyes, bearing the grief of time and space

I'm once again vibing dh, don't mind me

[adragonthatwrites]

I think, in our desire to make Shen Qingqiu a little guy who loves monsters in fics (very good, wonderful, we love this, BUT), we have missed the opportunity to make him the monster in the AU. I raise to you:

LiuShen Naga AU, where Shen Qingqiu is the naga.

Monster hunter/supernatural pest control guy Liu Qingge who gets called to a small rural town because there's some sort of monster about. The locals have not sighted it, but the behavior of their livestock and sudden dip in wildlife population indicates some sort of large, likely supernatural predator has moved in.

This can be modern AU or cultivator AU! The only important thing is this; nagas are not something Liu Qingge would normally deal with. They're huge and incredibly dangerous, with extraordinary stealth skills. If a naga's around you, you won't know it unless they want you to, and by that point it'll be too late. Their venom is also legendary. So whatever the context of the AU; a naga is something above Liu Qingge's roster of things he'll go after, simply because while bullheaded, he is not suicidal.

So, Liu Qingge investigates the mountains, but finds almost nothing to suggest the kind of beast he suspects to be there. He makes several trips over the course of several days, each time going deeper and deeper into the mountains beside the small village. He finds what he thinks are signs of something there, though he doesn't recognize exactly what could have made them (nagas are very solitary and exceptionally rare, and signs of their presence difficult to find or identify. Liu Qingge has never encountered one before this, nor is he expecting to, so he doesn't recognize up the signs for what they are)

The moment of realization comes when he's deep, deep into the mountains one evening and stumbles upon an odd object on the ground. Large, green, slightly translucent. He lifts it, and feels his blood run cold as he sees the pattern of massive scales and realizes he's holding the shed of a naga.

A fully grown naga, who absolutely knows he's here. Who's den he's probably standing dangerously close to, if there's a shed. A naga who, undoubtedly, has been watching him for the better part of his time searching these mountains, without him ever realizing it.

His heads whips around, searching the area around him. He's been allowed to move within and leave the territory unimpeded thus far; he may be able to get out now, provided the naga hasn't realized how close he's gotten to it's den. If he moves quickly...

It's at that moment his eyes catch on a shadow, falling strangely on the forest floor. He pauses, eyes faltering, before with a sudden harsh chill he finds himself starring directly into a pair of vibrant green eyes with sharp slit pupils. He can just make out the shape of a massive emerald green naga crouched in the underbrush, less than a hundred feet away from him.

And he feels the rush of cold harsh terror only experienced by a prey animal suddenly realizing it's in the sights of a predator.

[this-too-shall-bleed]

“Alas, poor Yorick.”

Version where Arthur is just a little different\/

ramble but this just Really turned into me wanted to convey how simultaneously badass and absolutely fucked Arthur is. Just in general, but of course referencing the latest arc… also wanted an excuse to properly paint John’s hand, the wood thing fun as hell. 14hrs of my life used efficiently I say. Malevolent podcast you absolute parasite (positive).

composition inspired by this image of jeremy brett cast in Hamlet, literally holding Yorick lol (swear I was not going to make this painting as complicated as it turned out but I learn from the best when it comes to falling down holes.)

[starry-bi-sky]

mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.

now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.

He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.

(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)

The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.

The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.

And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.

(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)

The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.

anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)

[muzsmocsing]

Hua Cheng: Uhm... My Lord, Jun Wu is coming we should probabl-

Mei Nianqing, rhythmically hitting Xie Lian on the head with a fan: WHAT *smack* THE FUCK *smack* DID I *smack* LITERALLY *smack* JUST *smack* TELL YOU *smack* ABOUT *smack* DATING A CALAMITY??? *smack* *smack* *smack*

[nenestansunsthings]

having svsss au ideas beyond my station

thinking. shang qinghua goes on a mission as a young disciple to some town in fuckoff nowhere and finds himself in the qiu household. and there he finds a young shen jiu, undergoing the plot he originally intended for him and hadn't realised had become real and he's so young oh god hes so young why is he so small what do you mean that part was real, he hadn't kept it why is it real—

and he panics and sneaks him the Fuck out of that house

and he's not sure what to do but surely sending him to cang qiong will fuck up something in the plot and he can't come under even more investigation and cang qiong tryouts dont happen for months anyway and his system would probably never allow it (it doesnt. it would interfere with yue qingyuans story) but shen jiu is refusing to stay anywhere near this place and wants to learn cultivating to protect himself make sure nothing like this ever happens again and sqh panics harder and

calls mobei jun.

okay. on second thought, maybe this was a bad idea. but he stumbles over himself and shushes baby shen jiu's very understandable freaking out and asks his king for the first thing hes ever asked for other than his own life.

is there any way this human child could learn cultivation in the demon world?