#this place is peaceful compared to them and i appreciate that a lot more

[silentreigns]

That feeling of never belonging in a fandom space but realizing it's for the best >>>>>. F1 Tumblr community I've never said anything bad about y'all ever

[ironunderstands]

Topaz appreciation post because she’s been rotating around my brain like a rotisserie chicken and I need y’all to get her like I do 

Genuinely, I believe her to be the most underrated limited 5 star in the game everything wise, because she is so damn interesting and nobody talks about it ever and it drives me nuts.

So, I’m going to make you understand why exactly I love her and what makes her so amazing in the first place.

Her lore 

Topaz’s lore is rather simple, at least compared to other characters in the game, but simple ≠ bad and her story serves her perfectly.

Long before Topaz was Topaz, she was a girl named Jelena, living in a desolate planet at the edge of the galaxy. The economy of this planet was based around mining and industry, which resulted in her home becoming more and more polluted as time went on. The wildlife almost completely disappeared, people had to wear masks to breathe, and it seemed like her planet was reaching a hopeless, dismal end.

Until the IPC came. They promised to fix everything, and heal her planet of its environment problems, in exchange for every person on the planet signing a contract of indentured servitude to the IPC. Seeing no other way out, Topaz’s home accepted, forever tying her and the rest of the planet to the IPC.

Topaz is was (and still is) incredibly talented and competent, excelling in science, economics, finances, math, etc. Her exceptional talents caused her mentor  and parental figure Dvorski, who works in the Strategic Investment Department to recommend her to Jade, one of his superiors. Presumably, this is how she started her climb up the corporate latter, eventually becoming the Topaz we know and love today. 

Throughout this, she maintained her friendly and headstrong attitude, and never abandoned her love for animals or the people in her life like Dvorski, a trait which will be important for later. 

So, I’ve established the basics, so what makes this interesting?

Topaz’s trauma and how it affects her character 

I feel like a lot of people ignore just how much trauma she really has, and how it affects the way she behaves in the present.

For starters, her love of animals. Sure, Numby is adorable and in general this is a rather fun trait for a character to have, it’s not something you would consider to be a sign of something darker. 

However, remember that Topaz’s planet almost lost all of the life on it, and she witnessed firsthand almost every creature she knew and loved either go extinct or become severely endangered. 

So, when you view her love for animals through this lense, it’s easy to see that she’s so attached to animals because Topaz almost lost them forever, and this trait manifests in a lot of the behavior she exhibits.

According to Topaz herself, her efficiency goes up 27% when Numby is with her, and it seems to be blatantly obvious that being around animals give her at the very least a peace of mind/sense of comfort. I mean in game she is Topaz and Numby for a reason, and her relationship with them is a core part of the way she behaves. When Topaz can’t ground herself, she has Numby to help her with that, which hurts even more considering she is likely going on these missions alone 90% of the time, meaning her literal only friend is a pet/animal. 

Considering Topaz’s biological parents never get mentioned, it’s not hard to assume she is orphaned or at the very least estranged from them, likely due to the disaster on her planet, leaving her only loved ones to be her pets and Dvorski. Losing one half of the only support system she has would be devastating for Topaz, which is likely why she brings Numby everywhere (also considering I don’t think she has mentioned him in the present, her pets might literally be the only things she has left). 

In her own home, Topaz collects a myriad of species from across the galaxy, as if to preserve them so at least even if they disappear on their home planets like hers did, they won’t go extinct entirely. 

Personally, I think her fixation around them cooperating and coexisting also reflects on how she feels about other people. If animals from completely different planets can get along, so can people. If she can convince creatures lacking in intellect work together, then she can do the same for ones that possess it, as ultimately Topaz is a massive people person, and believes what she’s doing is best for the galaxy. 

It’s almost like an experiment, with every little change to their ecosystems, every new organism added, every new abiotic feature taken or removed, Topaz can simulate what that might be like in reality. In a way she wants to take care of humans  like she does her pets, however instead of doing it through her own means, she uses the IPC and her power as a Stoneheart as a vector for that.

But why is she so confident? What makes Topaz wholeheartedly believe that what she’s doing really is the best for the galaxy, even if we know it isn’t perfect, even if only ~80% of the planets she works on are “saved”?

Well, like always, it’s her trauma again.

Imagine you’re living on a planet slowly dying due to its people’s greed and ignorance, in which everything you know and love is falling apart, and absolutely nothing can be done about it. But you don’t need to imagine this, I mean this is a situation we are all going through, as it’s already what’s happening to our planet right now, so perhaps instead picture what it might be like to live here in a few decades if nothing changes. How miserable that would be, how upset you would be at those in power, how disappointed you would be in humanity for doing Nothing when we had so much time and already knew the consequences almost a century in advance (seriously we have known about climate change since like the 50s). 

So you give up hope and accept your fate, accept that everything is going down in flames and the humanity, the planet you know and love is going to be snuffed out forever.

Only to get saved when an outside influence comes to your assistance. Sure, they make everyone sign a contract binding their lives to them, but you wouldn’t have a life to give had they not helped. Besides, you owe it to every other thing that shares your planet with you, every plant, every animal, every organism has been utterly wiped out by human greed, so it’s only fair to pay them back, right? 

I mean it’s your whole world at stake, so how could you say no? How could you deem their terms unreasonable if clearly your own people didn’t deserve the responsibility they had over their own lives? If their situations could only be fixed by giving it to others who could guide them? By giving it to the IPC? The Preservation ?

This is the mindset Topaz grew up on and has known for her entire life. She has seen humanity utterly fail itself and is unwilling to allow that fate to befall others. She doesn’t trust other people to make the right decisions, she doesn’t think they know what’s best for them, because the people she was closest to, her very own people couldn’t do that, so how could she ever expect strangers to do the same? 

How could she ever give the leaders of these planets the benefit of the doubt, knowing that doing that for her own almost caused it to be wiped out completely? How could she see them as anything more than the selfish bastards who ruined everything? How could her heart not ache thinking there were people on the planets she helps who would be doomed to experience the fate that almost fell upon her had Topaz not stepped in. 

How could Topaz feel guilty over the planets that don’t succeed? The ones she can’t save? As after all, she thinks they were lost from the get go? Does it eat her up at night knowing she failed them? That she couldn’t prevent the folly of humanity this time, so the next planet she must work harder, be more stubborn, push back even more, so nobody ever experiences what she did instead?

I mean being an indentured servant hasn’t been that bad for her, she’s succeeded in every endeavor she’s set her mind to after all. Sure, she’s entirely alone, and sure, if the IPC no longer deems her or her people useful, they could cast them aside once again. 

But Topaz is smart, she climbed to the top of the latter, she’s been praised to hell and back, she’s known far and wide through the department for her efficiency and drive, surely she hasn’t done anything wrong?

Sure she’s heard whispers, rumors and projects of other departments, of the deep dark secrets of the company she owes her life too. Inwardly she wonders how those who follow the Preservation would even be willing to commit such atrocities, inwardly she hopes they are just rumors. The IPC saved her planet, so how could they destroy others? 

The Preservation’s power will protect all, will save them from their miserable existences. Nothing else matters in the process, no dissenter understands this as like Topaz does. She will save them, she will protect them, even if it means she is detested by everyone she encounters, it must be done. All for the Amber Lord.

I find it very compelling how despite the fact that Topaz has become a Stoneheart, she is still dressed in the fashion of an average IPC worker. As if she is an equal part of the puzzle as them. Equally useful, equally disposable, equally biased, equally ignorant, and equally foolish. 

I mean, how could she be anyway else?

Her future

Belabog was just as important for Topaz’s development as she was to it.

She was wrong. 

As stubborn as Topaz is, she is not arrogant, and when Bronya proved to her that the people of Belabog can and would fight for their future, Topaz did everything in her power to help them.

As that’s what she really cares about, people. 

I think Topaz the determination she has in Bronya and it shook her to her core. 

Because so far, the only way Topaz has seen real progress is from the hands of the IPC.

But Bronya doesn’t give into them, and she puts everything she has into saving her people. Moreover, Jarilo-VI follows the Preservation as well, but they don’t agree with the IPC’s method of it. 

Is the IPC wrong?

That is the question Topaz is faced with, what is the thing she has to grapple with once she leaves the planet. When they demote her for not getting the debt back immediately, does Topaz wonder why they were so concerned about that in the first place? Shouldn’t they be happy that a world blessed by their very own deity managed to pick itself up without their help? Isn’t that the point?

Does she think back to her previous projects, the planets she saved and the planets she failed, and wonder how it would have worked out without the IPCs involvement? 

Did Aventurine teasing her about “failing” the Jarilo-VI project confuse her, because they were still saved like Topaz wanted them to be in the first place? How could they ever be considered a failure?

She believes debts and payback are what holds planets together, but it only ever seemed to cause Belabog to fall apart.

This is the first time Topaz really is forced to reevaluate her priorities, to question if her methods are justifiable, if she’s really doing the right thing.

Belabog didn’t break her, it didn’t topple her worldview and turn everything on its head, but it did plant some seeds of doubt in her brain, seeds of doubt that will grow into a new mindset. 

HOYOVERSE IF YOU ARE LISTENING HOYOVERSE, GIVE HER THE MENTAL BREAKDOWN + PRIORITY REEVALUATION ARC SHE DESERVES!!! DO THAT AND MY LIFE IS YOURS PLEASE.

Like you don’t get it you don’t get it what do you mean they set all this up and they might not go anywhere with it. Please hoyo please please please let her break away from the IPC’s condition and warped perspective, please let her truly follow the Preservation, please make her turn away from them, please make her an emanator of Preservation after she does this. Topaz stoneheart form, Topaz emanator form. Please please please let her save the crew let her save her subordinates let her save the people she failed previously let her save Aventurine and Ratio let her save Numby let her save herself.

Her instability 

I have already somewhat touched on this in point #3, but Topaz just cannot exist in the state she is now permanently.

Like a radioactive element she’s going to slowly decay over time until she ends up in a more stable form, and who that will hurt in the process, and how long that will take, we will have to see.

Hypocrisy is not something that can exist for long within characters, as due to its inherent contradictions, it messes with the way they are characterized until they are eventually forced to either eliminate it themselves or have the story do it for them.

Topaz is a hypocrite, desiring to do good and help people, but she ends up hurting them in the process. 

However, she has only just begun to realize this, and as more and more of the IPC’s atrocities get revealed, it gets harder and harder for both the audience and her herself to justify her behavior as we witness the extent of their crimes.

So how has she remained this stable for so long?

Well, the IPC has done everything in their power to keep her that way. From a young age she was involved with them, as they not only saved her planet, but her only known parental figure worked in the Strategic Investment Department. Soon, he recommended her to Jade due to Topaz’s exceptional talent, and presumably the other Stoneheart quickly picked her up and took her under her wing, causing Jelena to rise fast within the ranks and become one herself.

The IPC has been Topaz’s only frame of reference for how things should be done, her only perspective on write and wrong for so long. The only hints she gets of other points of view are that of the people who destroyed her planet, her own people. Unintentional or not, Topaz has been made to feel her whole life like the IPC are heroes and the common people are foolish and greedy and evil, and only now has that worldview started to crumble piece by piece.

Sure, we have always known how terrible the IPC was, a perception that has only gotten more and more true over time. However, Topaz is not the audience, and in universe the IPC presents themselves in a very positive light.

Think of the Myriad Celestia trailer and how it portrays the IPC; that’s quite literally how they want to be viewed in game, how they market themselves to other people. If Topaz has only ever known them to be that great, shining, progressive company who vows to follow the Preservation and improve the universe, how could even begin to criticize them? After all, she had never known any other perspective. Even when she did fail in the past, Topaz viewed it as a strike on her own record and an unfortunate situation in general, not as a demonstration of the IPC’s misdeeds. 

The IPC is good, the IPC saves people, the IPC follows the Preservation, Topaz is a good person, Topaz does good things, Topaz helps people, Topaz saves people, there is nothing wrong, there won’t ever be anything wrong.

Until Belabog

They don’t want to cooperate with the IPC. To roll over and let themselves be gutted for all they are worth. 

Well that’s fine, that’s happened before, at least that’s how Topaz justifies it to herself. She thinks of their massive debt, it must be paid after all, otherwise how could the galaxy remain stable?

But the weapons the IPC gave Jarilo-VI were never used in its defense. The thing they owe the IPC for never ended up being valuable. Belabog stood on its own, without the help of IPC in its defense.

They saved themselves.

As if it couldn’t get worse, they did it with the power of the Preservation.

And it didn’t come from the IPC, it came from them.

The Interastral Peace Corporation, who claim to be followers of the Preservation, standing against people who really do have their blessing and being proved wrong.

Do you know how that would feel to Topaz.

She’s wrong, and she’s proven wrong by the very deity she claims to follow, she believes she follows.

So Topaz makes her choice.

Stick with the IPC’s plan, or stand with the people of Belabog 

And she stands with them.

Topaz’s character never changes. I hate when people act like she switched up on them and changed her whole worldview, but in reality that was the most in character thing Topaz has ever done in her entire life.

Because she cares about people, so when the opportunity presents itself, she will always stand with them. 

This is the first time Topaz goes against the IPC’s wishes, and it won’t be the last.

She made her choice, she demonstrated who and what she truly cares about, and that will only drive a wedge between her and the IPC further and further until she snaps.

I find it funny how Topaz is a fire type character, when the song core to Belabog’s themes is “Wildfire” 

However, maybe it isn’t just about them. I think it’s about the Preservation, about what the game in general is trying to tell its players.

How fighting for your right to exist will hurt, but it is not impossible, and that pain will be the only way to enact change.

Well, Topaz,

you made your choice

go fight against your fate 

Thank you so much for reading! I really enjoyed making this and I hope you at least understand why I think Topaz is such a compelling character. I need an arc centered on her in the future and if I don’t get one then trust me things will be dealt with. She will get her just desserts.

[starboyshoyo]

Lip Gloss

Pairing: Vil x fem!reader

Fandom: Twisted Wonderland

Genre: fluff

Word Count: 800

You run into Vil Schoenheit in the early morning, who decides that you need a bit of a makeover.

“Epel, you’d better have a good reason for waking me up at 5 am to bring you sweets,” you grumble into your phone speaker as you hurry along the halls of Pomefiore dorm. “I swore off visiting this cursed place a week ago, remember?” 

“Still not sure why you did that,” your best friend’s groggy voice came from the other side of the call. He sounded as if he had just woken up. “It’s not as if the dorm is haunted or somethin’. Ramshackle is worse when it comes to that stuff, y’know.” He pauses, and you hear a loud yawn in the background. “Just get here soon, ‘kay? I’ll let you in my room.” 

The line went dead before you could protest. Shoving the device in your pocket, you speed up, trying not to track mud onto the grand carpets as you go. But just as you round the corner to the first-year wing of the dorm, you run right into a firm- and familiar- chest. 

“Come here, potato. What is the issue with you today? Your uniform is a mess.”

Oh, no. As luck would have it, you’d bumped into Vil Schoenheit- the one person that you didn’t want to see today. In fact, he was the whole reason you were avoiding coming to Pomefiore in the first place. 

It’s not that you disliked Vil. In fact, you admired him quite a lot. But as of late, the sight of the handsome housewarden was making your heart do flips in your chest. Quelling the feeling took more of your emotional energy than you were willing to give up. So, your solution? Avoid him at all costs until you figured out a way to squash these growing feelings. 

“H-hi, Vil,” you sputter as he pulls you towards him, tugging on the collar of your shirt and aligning it better with your frame. “Um. There’s nothing wrong with me today. I just got out of bed, so I’m a little disheveled.” 

Vil clicks his tongue “One must be aware of how they look to others at all times,” he reprimands, but it’s clear that he’s not mad at you. His voice is gentle compared to the way he speaks to the others in his dorm. “Hmm… your hair is getting a little on the thin side. You should come by my dorm room later today- I have a shampoo that’ll fix it up right away.” 

You’re fidgeting under his touch as he fusses over you. Your face is heating up more by the minute, and you’re thankful that his attention is trained elsewhere, lest he notice your flustered expression. “I appreciate the help, but I really have to go see my friend now,” you hedge, trying to inch away from him.

“Not so fast.” Vil reaches his arm out, placing it on the wall beside you to keep you from escaping. “You don’t have any makeup on, potato. Do you expect me to just let you go, bare-faced?”

He guides you towards one of the benches in the hallway nearby and all but forces you to sit, before settling down beside you. Out of nowhere, he pulls out a makeup bag, emblazoned with his name. Vil opens a small compact mirror and reapplies his lip gloss, then turns to you again. “Close your eyes. I have some foundation and eyeshadow here that’ll fit your complexion perfectly.”

It’s oddly peaceful, letting your eyelids flutter shut gently while the soft bristles of a makeup brush dance over them. For a moment, you can forget just how close Vil’s face is to yours; how his hands brush over the apple of your cheeks while he applies blush and contour. Your phone is ringing in your pocket- Epel must be getting impatient. But you can’t bring yourself to pick it up. 

Soon enough, Vil taps your cheek gently, prompting you to open your eyes once again- just in time to see Vil swipe a tube of lip gloss over your lips- the same one that he had used on his own just minutes ago. 

You all but squeak when he’s done, nearly ruining his hard work when you try to bury your face in your hands. Fortunately, Vil catches them just in time, shaking his head. 

“Ah-ah, you know better than to touch. What’s gotten you so worked up today?” Vil releases one of your hands to cup under your chin, coaxing you to look him in the eyes. You’re vaguely aware of yourself as you mutter something about an indirect kiss, dying inside as you realize that he heard you. But to your surprise, Vil just laughs- and presses his lips to yours in a gentle peck. “Potato, if you wanted a real kiss, all you had to do was ask.”

Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

[galene-gothic]

𝖶𝗁𝗈 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎, 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒?

୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ I hope this reading found you in good health, every reblog is appreciated and thank you for everything :) ˖♡ ˎˊ˗ ꒰ 🐇 ꒱

˗ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗             PAID SERVICES

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 1 ꒱

꒰ Who do you think you are ? ꒱

This seems to be touching more on what you're experiencing right now or have experienced in the past. You think that you're heartbroken, it's coming through quite strongly here. You think that your emotions run deep which results in you feeling hurt very deeply too. You think that you're lonely and kinda alienated from others. Some of you might have gotten deeply betrayed by people who you really trusted which has left you wondering if it's even worth it at all. I think that we both know that you're not in the best place right now. However, you're starting to have realisations that are really helping you at this time. As much as you're heartbroken, you don't want to and will not lose your compassionate self. You're seperating yourself from things and people that hurt you but I'm getting that you're the kind of person who desires closures so things feel incomplete to you on a subconscious level but you have a deep understanding that you've outgrown those situations and even if it's heartbreaking, you're moving away, even if it's uncomfortable, you're starting to choose peace and happiness. You think that you're someone who learns lessons from every experience especially heartwrenching ones.

You think that right now you're kind of purging, the universe/god/whatever you believe in seems to be clearing away the crap from your life, be it people, situations or your own unhealthy habits. I'm getting that this purging is very uncomfortable for you. You think that you've got atleast alright social skills. You think that you're open to loving people and want to express positive emotions (affection) to others in a deep and touching manner. You think that you are a person who helps others heal even if it triggers them, you see yourself as someone who has tried to heal really vile people in the past. I'm getting that you're starting to take more pride in having been a good friend/partner/daughter to people, if you don't then you should. You think that you're really careful with people's emotions and pretty good at understanding patterns especially emotional ones. You seem to be going through a new beginning, emotionally. You see yourself as peace loving. When you love someone you start looking at things from their perspective, you're very sensitive towards their needs and even if you have gotten into situations that were abusive or toxic, you've always tried to maintain the other person's or the relationship's peace. You think that people find it easier to open up to you regarding things than with others.

꒰ Who are you, really ? ꒱

You're someone who wants to leave behind a legacy. You wish to be abundant in every sense, you want the money, the love, the life that others can only dream of having. You care about your family deeply, for some of you, you might have family issues but even so, you sacrifice a lot for them. When you love someone, you consider them to be family and they become the center of your world. You are wealthy, if not financially (yet), you're wealthy when it comes to experiences. You might have experienced significant losses in your life which has always managed to get you closer to yourself. You like to make others feel like they belong because you've felt like you don't fit in for majority of your life, for some of you, it's still difficult to find people who you truly vibe with. The people who make you feel like you belong are very important to you, you grow affection towards such people very easily. You're a harmonious person, you care about reputation, material resources and money a lot but you hold just as much value to emotions, relationships (both platonic and romantic) and growing internally.

Compared to other people, you're pretty self aware in regards to your negative traits and know how to live with integrity which provides you with a sense of fulfillment. The thing about you guys is that you cannot be labelled because of how complex your personality is and also because of how balanced you are. While, for some people they could choose between love and money if they had to, it's difficult for you to do so because of how much importance you hold to both of them. I'm getting that you guys want a stable environment, a home to call your own but also cannot exactly be tied down, you likely know that you cannot do a 9-5 but a part of you likes the structure and routine that a 9-5 provides. There's a part of you that wants to settle down and there's another part of you that wants to fly really high. You're integrating a different version of yourself in your current self and it has not been easy for you but you're resilient and you're completing a cycle. You're strong enough to face any challenge, you've always overcome the hardest battles and you'll continue doing so in the future if it comes to it. I'm so proud of you.

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 2 ꒱

꒰ Who do you think you are ? ꒱

You guys probably know that you're pretty. You think that you're a mature person who's emotionally intelligent. You think that you're kind, loving and sensitive. You think that you get hurt pretty easily. You think that one of your positive and negative traits is your ability to daydream. You think that you're a loyal and forgiving person who loves people at all costs. You think that you hope for the best for people. You think you've got many deep insights on life and that your presence is healing. You think that you're understanding and forgiving. However, you also think that you end up burdening yourself by taking responsibility for other people's emotions. You see yourself as someone who's kind of burnt out as of lately. You think that you're often taken for granted and tend to struggle a lot :(. Most of you haven't had an easy life but you keep on pushing yourself. Your ability to never give up is really admirable and I think that you respect yourself for that. You might have gone through humbling experiences recently which is causing you to focus on your duties and confidence. You think that you're a hardworking person who doesn't really mind carrying the relationship, I think that is starting to change. You think that you have the tendency to be obsessive at times.

In the past, you might have made a lot of sacrifices for others but now you're starting to realise that that's not how it's supposed to be. Now, you're starting to make sacrifices for the life you wish to live is what I'm getting. You think that you tend to take more than you can handle but still manage to get it done, however, you're starting to realize that biting more than you can chew is not good for you. You think that you're really ambitious but you might have been lazy in the past, you're starting to stay disciplined now and I think that's one of the best things that you've been doing. You think that you tend to get really stressed out because of how seriously you take everything. You think that you've lost yourself but you're trying to take this opportunity to build yourself as a better person. I'm getting that you've tried to protect people by handling their responsibilities, helping them work through their trauma, even taking blame for their mistakes, etc. Which didn't leave you well. You might have felt like you destroyed yourself but you're starting to build compassion towards yourself again because you realise that it's not your fault that you care about people, it's not your fault that they couldn't have been kinder to you, it's on them, it's their loss. You tend to struggle with loneliness.

꒰ Who are you, really ? ꒱

You're actually who you think that you are. You're an emotionally intelligent person and love people deeply. You're sensitive, loyal, forgiving and never give up on love. You have a lot of empathy towards others. I think that you don't know some things about yourself though or even though you know it, you tap into those parts very unconsciously. First of all, you care about money and material possessions, you are also pretty thrifty with money. You are a pretty practical person and like to weigh out risks and potential outcomes before investing. Your ability to grow is beyond astounding, you're always growing, you're always becoming better but you haven't tapped into your potential entirely. You like to set goals and follow through with achieving them. Even though you have the tendency to daydream, you're much more grounded than other people your age. You have so much potential that you're not even aware of. Right now, some of you here are like "I know that I have a lot of potential" but you have even more potential than you think.

You especially have a lot of potential when it comes to money, you know how to be realistic when things come to it. I'm not sure how to say it but your relationship with earth or the material realm is much stronger than your relationship with spirit. You can ground anything you want to into reality unless you're choosing to be lazy 💀. Some of you might be artists here, while some of you have the soul of an artist but haven't been able to harbour your skills to the point where you could call yourself an artist? I'm getting that whenever you see this, you should focus on money and improving your skills when it comes to any artform that you feel called to. For you, healing is very important. You really care about your own and other people's emotions. I get the vibe that people not considering your emotions can make you really upset at times even though usually you choose to understand where they're coming from. You're a really loving person too. You're a really romantic person who has deep insights on life. You might sometimes feel like no one deserves you because of how loving you are.

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 3 ꒱

꒰ Who do you think you are ? ꒱

Right now, you're probably transitioning and you're aware of it. You think that you're someone who overcomes any hardship that comes upon you. You think that you're in a healing period right now. I'm also getting that you might have helped or tried to save a lot of people in the past when they were down but when you're down, you're having to go through everything all by yourself. You seem to be running away from something. I'm getting that it's not anything bad, like you're not ghosting people, you're just choosing to get away from bad energy. You think that things are finally starting to be calmer for you and that you're moving into a positive direction. You're making a lot of progress in your everyday life. You think that you're someone who learns from your regrets. You think that you've mentally left situations even if you're unable to leave them physically due to whatever reason. You think that you have a lot of courage and are an independent thinker. You think that you're releasing your past pains and starting to take more responsibility over your own happiness. You're likely exhausted and taking a rest right now.

You're trying your best to regain control over your life again and to balance things out. You feel supported by the universe or whatever you believe in right now, you feel like the universe sends in someone to help redirect you everytime you are about to go astray. You think that you're moving towards creating a more stable and comfortable life for yourself. You're either on the verge of leaving someone or something in the past or you already have. This is talking more about things that you're going through and the energy you're in right now. Let's move towards what you think about yourself, you think that you're a prideful person. I'm getting that it's very important for you to be proud of yourself, proud of your partner, proud of your friends, etc. You think that you naturally attract attention. You think that you're a confident person who possesses a lot of inner strength. You're starting to realise that achievements mean a lot to you. You want to be successful and some of you have a feeling that you are destined to be in the public eye in some way. You think that you're constantly working on improving yourself as being and feeling confident is very important to you.

꒰ Who are you, really ? ꒱

One thing I can clearly pick up on is that you feel completely drained out. I'm actually surprised that you still have the energy to try and make your life better. Your attempt at trying to stay positive is quite admirable too. You have a lot of setbacks in your life right now. It's as if nothing is working out. It seems to be really worrisome to be honest, you might be on the verge of not being able to continue your education or job anymore, some of you might be on the verge of losing your home, etc. You're still choosing to be courageous and not lose your mind though. You're persistent on making things better for yourself. You've learnt lessons from your past failures and mistakes and you're choosing to practically apply those lessons into your life. You also seem to be really guarded, with your time, energy, money, information about your life, etc. Regardless of how bad things might be going for you and how many setbacks seem to be placed on your path, you're choosing to push forward. You're tired of everything, you just want to be stable at this point. You also seem to be really wounded from all your past experiences. You're actually going through a really hard time right now, you know that but you don't feel like it because you are doing your best, I'm so proud of you. You're a resilient person who's choosing to have faith in how things play out while still trying your best to get your desired outcome/outcomes. It's like, you know that things can't possibly get any worse so you might as well choose to have a positive attitude towards things, that's what you think subconsciously.

I think again, we ended up picking up more of your energy than on you, so moving on to who you really are. You were meant to give out and receive love. Socializing is like second nature to you. Maybe, not anymore but most of you were very good at socializing as a child. You hold pure intentions towards other people and choose to deal with emotions in a balanced way. You're someone who doesn't really try to make your feelings towards someone stop growing unless they do you dirty. You also really seem to enjoy the early stages of relationships and crushes. You're an emotionally open person even though you're really guarded and choose to love people freely. However, you might have a fear of commitment and might purposely like people who are commitment phobic too or you know you won't last with. You like forming new connections and tend to go with the flow while still wondering how to control situations. You don't seem to have a balance, you either go with the flow to the point you almost don't care or you become really controlling. You're actually very peaceful and peace loving. I'm trying to figure out how and why your life is so chaotic. You know how to maintain your emotional well-being while not losing your ability to love. You're actually pretty satisfied and fulfilled with yourself and that's why you seem to keep going despite everything. You know how to make others happy :'). I'm so proud of you, keep loving, take care.

[xjulixred45x]

I see a lot of Kusakabe talk lately. Can I please ask for General relationship HCs for our resident lazy sorcerer <3

FINNALLY SOME NEW CHARACTERS!!! I don't like Kusabake that much, but Def His memes makes me laugh so considerate it done. Thanks for the Request❤️

Atsuya Kusakabe General Dating Headcanons

Genre: Headcanons

Reader: neutral

Warnings: typical canon violence, some spoilers of the manga.

Okay, for starters, YOU CANT TELL ME THAT HIS S/O IS NOT ONE OF THE REASONS THIS MAN VALUES HIS LIVE SO MUCH!

We all know that Kusakabe, although he is quite strong, does not really want to risk dying and prefers tasks that do not endanger his life, such as evacuating civilians and facing minor curses.

partly because he appreciates his life...and partly because I don't think he wants to cause pain to the few people he loves (reader included).

He wants to LIVE HIS LIFE with his s/o, he doesn't want to die prematurely and leave them alone!

I firmly believe that if he had a partner they would probably be a civilian, because 1- then he wouldn't have to worry about them dying because of sorcery work and 2- he can finally have some normality and peace of mind.

TELL ME THIS MAN IS NOT LOOKING FOR TRANQUILITY WHEN HE IS THE TEACHER OF A GROUP OF SUPER POWERFUL CHILDREN. OF WHICH *TOUDO* HIMSELF IS A PART

I imagine him in part as a boyfriend-father, who, although he is usually quite serious, usually shows that he cares in other ways, such as asking if you have eaten, buying food if you haven't, going for a walk to clear your head if you feel overwhelmed. . that kind of things.

As I said before, he is someone who appreciates tranquility a lot compared to his rather hectic life, so I think he would meet his s/o somewhere where he often lives as a civilian, perhaps (similar to Nanami with the girl at the bread) from some place where he goes to eat after his missions.

You could say that seeing his s/o gives him a hit of dopamine.

THERE IS DEFINITELY NO WAY HE'LL LET HIS STUDENTS KNOW ABOUT HIS S/O. he wants to save himself from Miwa's constant teasing and questions.

although maybe after a while (and only to Miwa) he will show ONE (1) photo and brag a little about them.

There is also a possibility that he ends up talking a little about his s/o to Panda in Shibuya, just to calm down and not be so stressed, you could say that is the effect it has on him.

I can see him as a protective boyfriend, more than anything because just as he appreciates his life a lot, he appreciates his s/o's A LOT MORE, and will give him priority over that of others (he thinks it's appropriate, they are civilians after all).

There's not much chance that he'll end up running into his s/o during a mission, but that can either automatically lower his stress level considerably or raise it to unimaginable levels.

If it were a normal mission, it is most likely the first case, since there he can simply greet his s/o and have them go somewhere else for "safety issues" and be reassured that they are away from danger. even if it is a lesser grade curse.

Now, if his s/o were involved in a mission like SHIBUYA he's definitely losing his shit trying to protect them. and he is escorting them all the time with Panda to wherever it is safe and far from danger.

He grows green gray hair, as we say in my country.

It doesn't mean he's against his s/o going to see him at work! Quite the opposite, but he prefers that they go see him when he is a teacher.

I think he would especially like it if his s/o brings him food (whether made by them or bought) or something like that (more cigarettes/candy) and he is very grateful.

Although he doesn't like to share his love life with his students, he is DEFINITELY bragging to his workmates about how he DOES HAVE TIME for good things and that he doesn't regret anything >:)

He's like "that's what happens to you for not doing things the easy way, not like me, I even have an INCREDIBLE and very pretty partner😎" he's shameless.

I would say that his main language of affection would be compliments in a certain way, he knows what to say to get his way in situations where it is required, but with his partner that translates to what he knows what to say to cheer them up or make their day better. .

apart from the fact that he is much more attentive than one would think due to his vague nature.

He remembers his partner's main dislikes well, although he sometimes uses that against them to joke with them (for example, if they don't like bugs, he will chase them with a spider around the house) but he never takes it too far. It's just a little fun between the two.

Apart from that he knows very well when his partner really likes something or if he only says he likes it so as not to hurt his feelings, which is nice, but he prefers sincerity in those types of aspects.

very direct.

Let's say that just as he greatly appreciates his life and KNOWS that he could die at any moment, he doesn't want to waste time, so he is going to be as direct as possible with his s/o if what he wants is something lasting or something temporary, he will do it. which is very good for the relationship honestly.

I think his Achilles heel with the relationship would be PDA, I mean, he doesn't mind things like holding hands or kissing in public, but I don't think he does much more or at least with people around.

low key his s/o will be the one who initiates physical contact at the beginning.

The dates are usually either somewhere preferred by both (anywhere where salmon eyes don't work, please) or right at home watching ridiculous movies to disconnect a little from reality.

or even just be silent for a while with your s/o, at PEACE and let things flow in your head, this is what you do more than anything on a particularly bad day at work.

Sometimes he blurts out sudden thoughts about thoughts he's keeping from work to his partner, it's completely unintentional, but it helps him open up more honestly to his partner.

He's generally pretty open about almost everything, EXCEPT his job, so his s/o has to appreciate those kinds of moments of vulnerability.

As for issues of, for example, settling down, I think he wouldn't be against it at all.

His job already causes him enough stress, it is not unreasonable to think that one day he would like to retire and function alone as a teacher or some other common job (anything seems like baby play compared to cursing).

Along with that, I can see him in this case proposing to his s/o, wanting them to be in his life permanently and "officially" so to speak.

As for the children...I don't think he would want in the first place. He just doesn't see anyone he likes (he can barely stand his own students, my God), so he could be fine with an s/o who has that same opinion.

Did you see that Kusakabe has a sister named Usami? the one who was devastated by the death of her son so they gave her something similar to Panda.

I imagine that Kusakabe would take VERY much into account if his sister likes his s/o to continue the relationship, Usami is one of the few people he cares about and believes that it is appropriate to have her approval.

Can you imagine if Kusakabe had met his partner through his sister? That would be nice

Probably his s/o is also one of the few people with whom he confides secrets like about his sister's son, I don't think he reveals important things about work, but he definitely lets his s/o know that it is for the greater good and especially for their safety.

I saw on the wiki that apparently he likes fishing, it would probably be a hobby that he normally likes to do alone, but if his s/o shows interest, he will try to teach them the basics in a decent way and have them form their own opinion about it.

He secretly hopes that they like it, but no pressure.

Kusakabe wants them to share the hobby because they both like it after all, he doesn't see the point in it being just to spend time together if they don't enjoy it :/

Now, going to the elephant in the room, a s/o sorcerer or part of the academy.

It would be more useful in the aspect of seeing each other often, since they would constantly see if their s/o is a teacher in Kyoto as well.

They could even do joint classes to teach their students an ear of tricks (and that way he doesn't have to give it all alone). ironically the students would respect the s/o more than their normal sensei.

Even if the s/o was from Tokyo, it's not that there would be a serious problem in seeing each other, they send him on missions nearby often, so they could take advantage and see each other after finishing work or better yet, go on missions together.

The problem would be that his more protective side comes to light, which is not necessarily bad, but it can be somewhat annoying.

always puts the s/o behind or does the work before the s/o can do his part, especially if it is a mid-grade curse.

which can be irritating because HELLO, they are of the SAME RANK, they are supposed to be able to do the same things.

Kusakabe should learn to stop being so scared when his sorcerer s/o goes on a mission with him and let them do their job.

Even if we're honest, after that phase, they make a good combo, especially if your s/o encourages you to get out of your comfort zone and not be so lazy.

It would be like the dynamics of "no energy" and "a lot of energy" in short.

He finds it adorable that they believe in him so much, but at the same time he thinks they should be less naïve before the world of Jujustu swallows them alive.

He still liked the idea of settling down, but in this situation it will have to be his s/o who takes the first step. It's a feeling.

In general, if you are one of the few people this man cares about, rest assured that he will not take your affection or your company for granted. He will appreciate it as much as he can and APPRECIATE you as much as he can.

He just wants to live another day. hopefully with you.

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

Thanks for the Request ❤️

[ssa-montgomery]

Baby, I'm Preying On You Tonight, Hunt You Down Eat You Alive (Just Like Animals)

Word Count: 5590

Summary: Daryl has a darker primal side he's been hiding and Y/N is determined to draw it out, no matter what it takes.

Characters: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, lots of suspense, chasing, Daryl hunts the reader, predator/prey dynamic, primal kink, smut, angry Daryl, overstimulation, dom/sub, degradation kink, use of degrading terms (bitch, whore), punishments, dirty talk, hickeys, marking, biting, possessive kink, ownership kink, choking kink, rough sex, breeding kink, some cum play, begging, use of pet names (doll, girl), Daryl compares the reader to a little bunny, outdoor sex, forest sex

A/N: So uh, this might be some of the most unhinged smut I've written so far. I had this idea for a while and I was debating on whether or not I should write it and once I got the request @azanoni for a Daryl smut using these prompts I just knew I HAD to write it. I think this might be some of my favourite Daryl content I've written. I've had so much fun planning and writing this one (even if it took longer than expected) so I hope you all enjoy it as much as I have!

Prompt(s): “Tell me what you're going to do to me.”

Feedback is what motivates me to work so please let me know what you think! Reblogs are also greatly appreciated.

Taglist is open!

Masterlist

Growing up you were taught about the dangers of the woods that grew around your childhood home, poisonous plants and animals that had you scared of the smallest noises among the trees but since the fall of the world, that danger had increased tenfold. Anybody with the good sense to fear for their life was afraid of what they might find this deep into the trees, not just the threat of walkers but the threat of people that would stop at nothing to survive. It was a place that most actively avoided when they could but you, on the other hand, had always found a strange peace in nature, even the sides to it that should have scared you. Mother nature was a force to be reckoned with and you admired that.

You knew better really, knew the danger that came with being this far out by yourself and any other time you wouldn't have wandered off without one of the others by your side but the group was running low on supplies. The food situation was becoming scarce and while Rick and Maggie managed to round up some canned goods on their last scavenge it still wouldn't be enough to last long. Your people needed proper, fresh food and you knew you could hunt better alone without any distractions.

 You were a skilled hunter, that much anyone could see. It came naturally to you the second you picked up a bow and Daryl spent days taking you hunting with him, training you well. The silence of being alone in the forest helped you focus your senses even more than usual, catching even the slightest movements of the animals around you. It was a strange feeling, listening to just how quiet the forest was now. The quiet seemed to surround you, weighing heavy in the trees around you as the space that had once been filled with the sounds of wildlife was now replaced by silence and the distant groans of the dead. It seemed the wildlife had taken just as much of a hit as the rest of the world. Things were changing and you knew it would never be the same again.

You were careful to avoid the overgrown roots that littered the forest floor, stepping over them as you pressed forward, following the trail of a stag you'd spotted a few miles back. You'd watched in awe of the creature for a moment but before you could get close enough to make a clear shot, it took off into the trees. Daryl had given you a crash course in tracking and the knowledge proved useful as you picked up the tracks in the mud, following them deeper into the forest. If you could bag a kill like this, you could feed the group for days.

You weren't sure just how long you'd been out here anymore. The sun had barely risen when you, nothing more than a faint orange glow in the distance but now the light was filtering through the leaves above your head, bathing you in the warm feeling. You were soft with your steps treading lightly across the forest floor as you used the toe of your boot to brush the twigs in front of you out of the way, trying to avoid making any noise, not wanting them to snap underfoot.

Something in the corner of your eye caught your attention, another indent in the mud but it was smaller this time. A separate track from the one you'd been following. Perhaps it was a younger deer, a doe that had joined your stag somewhere along the way. You tried to get a closer look at the print, stooping down behind the wide trunk of the tree as you judged just how fresh it was.

When you were on these hunts, finding yourself in the situation of stalking an animal in this way there was a certain feeling you'd grown used to. It was a dynamic balance, the feeling of power between man and nature, the hunter and the hunted. Predator and prey. The baseline animal instincts that exist inside everyone. 

There was a sense of power you held as the hunter, a confidence that drove you forward but you could quickly feel that draining from your body, instead being replaced by a growing sense of fear. You weren't as alone out here as you thought. You were no longer the predator of this situation. You were the prey. There was somebody, something watching you and you could feel the goosebumps pricking under your skin, your hairs standing on end as a deep feeling you couldn't place settled in your bones.

You couldn't have been sure at the time but you thought you'd heard it just a few minutes before, chalking the slight rustling up to walkers but this wasn't something undead. No, these were too sure, too purposeful, these were footsteps. Real living, human footsteps. The sound was heavy against the soil, a man's footsteps, that much was easy to tell. You could tell whoever this was was trying to cover the noise. They were hiding, stalking you from somewhere among the trees. You glanced around, scanning the tree line as you pretended to search for your deer, not wanting to give away that you were aware they were there.

Something changed in the air around you. A tension thick enough to cut settled around you while your heart started to race, beating against your ribs. You'd been spotted and you knew they could sense the fear that followed. Your movements were deliberate now, trying not to make any sudden movements as you slowly raised from your hunched-over position, trying to steady your rapid breathing. As you moved to step forward there was a louder noise behind you, a twig snapping closer to you than you were comfortable with. They weren't disguising their footsteps anymore and you knew what that meant for you.

That feeling in your bones, there was only one way you could describe it. It was the same primal feeling you saw in the eyes of trapped animals and you knew there were only two baseline instincts for a cornered animal. Fight or flight. You chose the latter. Within a second you were in motion, breaking out into a sprint faster than you could think. You had no idea where exactly you were running to, you didn't have time to plan that far ahead and you'd taken off in the wrong direction to make it back to the group at camp. All you knew was that you needed to get out of there.

Everything in your body was screaming at you to stop as you forced yourself to keep going, you could feel yourself growing weaker with every step, your legs already aching from being on your feet all day. You couldn't stop running now, you knew that much. You were barely aware of anything outside of yourself anymore, your senses overwhelmed by the sound of your heart hammering in your ears drowning out the sound of how close your hunter was getting. The wind whipped almost painfully against the skin of your face but the only feeling you could focus on was that of being chased. Hunted down through the trees.

You raised an arm to cover your face as you ran, shielding yourself from the low-hanging branches that would otherwise catch your face as you kept going. You proved too focused on the branches in front of you as you stopped paying attention to anything else around you, instead managing to catch your foot on the root of a tree that was emerging from the ground. By some miracle, you didn't fall. You managed to reach out and steady yourself on the tree next to you as you kept running trying to push yourself forward but the stumble was enough to slow you down. It was enough for him to catch up.

A scream of protest ripped from your throat when you were suddenly tugged backwards, two strong, rough hands grabbing at your upper arms. You tried to surge forward, hoping to break free of his grasp but instead, he manoeuvred you around however he wanted, dragging you by your arms as he pushed your chest against the trunk of the closest tree. You could feel the panic flooding your veins as you struggled against his grip but there was no use. He overpowered you in every way, the solid wall of his chest pressing against your back as he forced you further against the tree, leaning in until you felt his hot breath fan against your neck. 

"Stop strugglin', fuckin' brat. His words were dripping with venom, nothing more than a low growl in your ear as his hands left your arms instead dropping to your waist in an attempt to stop you from trying to wriggle out of his grasp. Your muscles tensed at the feeling of his fingers biting into the soft skin of your waist, your mind racing with thoughts you knew you shouldn't be having in this situation. At first, you weren't sure if the feeling bubbling up in your chest was relief or burning rage as finally placed the voice. You'd recognise that rich southern drawl anywhere.

"Daryl? Oh, you fuckin' bastard." You let out a heavy sigh as your body relaxed in his grasp realising you weren't in immediate danger. You tried to aim another dig at his ribs for the scare he'd given you but he easily blocked you, catching your arm and pinning it above your head. The fear in your body melted away the second you heard his voice but there was something else rising up in its place. A different kind of fear, an anticipation for just how he'd choose to handle this situation. It was a feeling that had you wriggling your hips against him with no intention of breaking loose. "I thought you were some creep out here waitin' to kill me or somethin'."

"I damn well coulda been. Stupid fuckin' girl." Daryl growled out, his voice low as his lips practically ghosted the shell of your ear, his grip on your waist tightening. His grip wasn't trying to hold you in place anymore, the treat of you running having long since passed. In reality, if he let go of you now you'd stay perfectly still just to keep him happy, no his grip now was solely possessive. Holding you close to him and hiding you away from anything out there that might want to hurt you. "I mean what were ya thinkin'? Runnin' off like that without tellin' me? Were ya even fuckin' thinkin'? Y'know how dangerous it is out 'ere, ya tryin' to get yerself killed?"

"I left you a message before I left." You said, your voice dropping in volume with disappointment as you feigned innocence when in reality you knew what you were doing every step of the way since you first left that morning. You wouldn't have come out this far if you didn't know Daryl would follow you, if you hadn't been counting on it. All of this was a game, admittedly a risky one at that and one that you weren't sure Daryl would play along with at first. The fact that he was here, pressing you against the tree with a growing hard-on in his pants proved he was more than willing to play along.

"Right. Yer message. Call that a message do ya? Gettin' Rick to tell me y'went out hours after ya were already gone? What was it ya said? He's a good tracker, tell him to find me if he wants me. Think yer clever do ya?" He bit back the anger rising in his voice as he forced you further against the tree, pinning you there with his hips. One hand found its way into your hair, wrapping the strands around his hand into a makeshift ponytail before pulling your head back, forcing you to meet his eyes.

"I'm - I'm sorry Daryl I didn't mean to -" You stumbled over your words trying to find the right excuse to calm him but you knew it was useless as you met the wild look in Daryl's eyes. It wasn't unusual to see him angry but this look was unlike anything you'd ever seen from him. Anger and genuine concern for your safety mixed with an almost feral nature that seemed to darken his eyes as his pupils dilated. It was mesmerising. 

"Nah. Ya knew what you was doin'.  Is this what y'wanted? Wanted me to hunt ya down through the woods? Chase ya down and catch ya like some kind of prey? Have my way with ya? Ya wanted to be afraid?" His voice was taunting in a way that should have almost scared you but he was right, this was exactly what you'd wanted. Ever since you'd met you knew there was a side he hid, you could see it in his eyes when he fought with the others in the group, could feel him holding back every time he touched you. 

You wanted him to let go, to release that animalistic side that you watched him try so hard to fight, his true hidden nature. He was right, you did want to be afraid. In fact, the feeling turned you on beyond belief. You wanted him to take control of you, to earn your submission entirely until you had no choice but to melt into a mess in his hands. "I should show ya what happens to brats that piss me off."

"Tell me what you're going to do to me."  Your words were breathy, barely above a whisper, coming out as more of a pleading beg than the original demand you'd intended. He was already getting under your skin, making you cave under his intense gaze as your eyes flickered to the forest floor when you could no longer take his stare. His hands were roaming your body now, groping at every part of you that he could reach. Squeezing at your hips, running up your back before gliding over your ribs.

"I'm gonna give ya what ya wanted. I could practically smell how badly ya wanted me for miles. Y'wanted me to let loose and fuck ya like some kind of feral animal so that's exactly what I'll give ya." He dropped his head to your shoulder, breathing in deeply as he took in your scent. The smell of pine mixed with the faint smell of the shampoo you'd managed to find a few days ago, but it was the natural scent of your skin that drove him crazy. 

Daryl's hands snaked around your waist to undo the button of your jeans not even bothering with the fly as he left you with no time to process his words, shoving his hand past the waistband of your panties. You couldn't help the whimper that escaped you at the feeling of his fingers moving roughly over your clit, the sudden feeling almost too much for you. He wasted no time, not in the mood for gentle foreplay as he moved his fingers downwards resting them over your entrance just enough to have you wriggling in his grip for more but not enough to press inside you. He let out a low groan that you could feel vibrate in his chest when he felt how wet you were already, gathering as much of it on his fingers as he could while it smeared over the palm of his hand.

"Look at ya. Already drippin' down yer thighs for me. Fuckin' soaked. Ya like it huh? Like makin' me angry so I'll use ya however I want? Get off of me throwin' ya 'round like it's nuthin' and pinin' ya down?" You were starting to lose it already, still reeling from the feeling of his fingers against your clit you couldn't find the words to answer him. He ground his hips into your ass as he waited for you to admit it. Clearly not happy with your lack of response he brought his free hand up and wrapped it around your throat, using it as leverage to quickly spin you around in his grasp before slamming you back against the tree. "Answer me, girl."

"Y- yes Daryl. I love it. Please I want you to use me. I need it. I can take it. I promise." Your voice sounded desperate even to your own ears as you pleaded with him to give you what you wanted. Seemingly pleased with your answer he tightened his grip on the sides of your throat, forcing a gasp from your lips at the pressure. He took the opportunity the second your lips parted in and shoved his fingers that were still covered in your slick into your mouth. You knew what he wanted immediately as you felt him press down on your tongue, closing your lips around his fingers as you sucked them clean.

"That's it." He hummed tilting your face up with his free hand, forcing you to meet his stare as you struggled not to gag while he slid his fingers further back into your mouth. He thought about forcing you to your knees there and then, using your mouth until he was finished as punishment but who was he to deny you when you begged so pretty? Nobody could break you down as quickly as Daryl, ever since your first time together he had a natural talent for finding that switch in your brain - or he'd argue more accurately in your pussy - that turned you into a drooling submissive mess for him. Not that you were complaining about it one little bit. No matter how much he lost control you knew you were safe in his hands, but right now, you wanted that feeling of danger. "Y'gonna beg me for it like some needy stupid bitch in heat? Need to fucked and bred 'til ya can't think no more?"

"God Daryl, please. I can't - I can't take anymore. I need you inside me." You moaned as you grasped at the shoulders of his worn-down leather vest, trying to feel him closer in any way you could. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, starting to leave hot, messy, kisses there before he sunk his teeth into your skin. You cried out at the sharp feeling, clawing at his back through the fabric of his clothes as his tongue lapped over the area, roughly sucking just to be sure it would leave a noticeable mark. A claim for anyone else who might be stupid enough to look at you to see.

"Y'had so much fight in ya when I was chasin' ya. I had fun huntin' ya like some lil' bunny. Look at y'now. Pathetic." He spat, dropping his hand to toy with the button of your jeans before finally undoing the fly to let it hang open.  You could see the smirk ghosting his lips as his eyes darkened before he started to speak again. You could practically see the plan forming in his head. "Since y'want me to fuck ya so badly maybe I should just leave ya out 'ere for bein' such a fuckin' brat before. Let ya find some other way to entertain yerself. Only good girls deserve to be bred."

"No, no, no - wait! You cried out clinging onto his shirt as he pulled back slightly, threatening to step away from you completely. If he walked away from you now without giving you what you wanted you might have actually collapsed to the ground and cried from the frustration. He was getting on this, the teasing, the making you beg, the wide-eyed desperate look you gave him, that much was obvious from the growing bulge in his pants. "I'm sorry - I'm sorry I just wanted to have some fun. I promise I'll be good now just stay please."

"Y'wanted fun huh?" He said grasping your jaw as he stepped closer, his face so close to yours now that his lips brushed yours as he spoke. He wouldn't kiss you, not now, it almost felt too intimate for his anger at this moment. No, he just wanted to tease you instead as you chased his lips. It was intoxicating, the heat of his breath against your skin and the faintest scent of cigarettes that always seemed to follow him. "Yer idea of fun involves annoyin' the shit outta me huh?"

You could feel your cheeks heating, painting your skin red under his intense stare and harsh words. Admittedly you did find simple joy in winding Daryl up at any chance you got. You knew you hadn't really upset him with the stunt you'd pulled today. If you had he would have dragged you back to camp the second he'd caught up to you and screamed at you until every walker in the state heard him. No, this anger, the biting words that made you crumble, this was his game. This was his teasing.

"Yer gonna take what I give ya and I don't wanna hear ya bitchin' 'bout it. Ya asked for this. Begged me actually." He warned, his voice low and dark as he dug his fingers into the side of your panties. In one swift moment, he had both your jeans and panties pulled down just past your knees, forcefully kicking your feet apart to give him the access he needed. "Do y'understand me?"

"Y-yes." You whimpered out, trying your best to angle your hips towards him needing anything you could get but he wasn't giving you anything until he decided you deserved it. He couldn't hold himself back much longer, something inside him snapping at the sight of you in front of him. With his hands now gone from your body you were using the tree behind you to support your already weak knees, your eyes screwed shut with your head resting against the bark of the tree while you waited for him to make his move, your legs spread apart for him with your clothes still hanging below your knees. The sight was vulgar and it made his cock twitch in his pants. 

"Look at that pretty lil' pussy, beggin' me to fuck ya 'til ya can't take it anymore." His hands were on his belt in a second, fumbling over himself as he finally gave into just how badly he needed this too. There was a desperate need to be inside of you clawing at his chest in a way he'd never felt before. This wasn't exactly the setting for getting entirely undressed, the risk of danger or having to run out here was far too high. Instead, he shoved his pants and boxers down just enough to free his cock, his belt still hanging loosely around his waist. "Gonna make ya scream for it s'good they'll hear ya back at camp. Let 'em all know what a fuckin' cock drunk whore y'are for me."

"Daryl fuckin' hell I -" Your words trailed off into a high-pitched whine as he gave in to his overwhelming need to fuck you with no warning and no time to process, shoving his cock inside you and bottoming out with one swift, rough thrust. You brought your hands up and dug your nails into his shoulders feeling your muscles spasming around him, the sudden feeling of being so full boarding on almost painful as you adjusted to his size. "Fuck -" 

He didn't stop to let your body adjust like he usually would, there was nothing gentle about this. Instead, he pulled out until he was just barely inside you and then thrust back into you even rougher than before. He was setting a brutal pace that from the burn you could already feel you were sure would hurt in the morning, leaving you with a limp and bruises where his fingers grasped at your waist but you couldn't bring yourself to care. This is what you'd wanted. You wanted it rough, you wanted it to hurt and to wear the reminder of what he had done to you for days after.

 The pace he was setting was cruel, his hips snapping against yours in a way that already had you gasping for breath as if he was actually fucking the air from your lungs. His hands grasped at the hem of your shirt, not bothering to pull it over your head but instead tugging it up your chest enough to expose your breasts to his wandering hands and greedy eyes. He groped at your breasts rolling his palms over your nipples as he thrust into you. The feeling had you arching your back further into his touch, pulling your shirt up to catch it between your teeth to give him full access.

"Yer tits look fuckin' perfect for me. Pretty lil' view while I fuck ya, practically beggin' for my mouth 'round them. Want me suckin' on your tits while I breed ya huh?" You could almost hear his accent thickening with each word, that rasp taking over as he control of his words giving in and saying whatever came to his mind. His eyes were glued to your chest watching the way your breasts bounced with every thrust he made that forced you upwards. He didn't wait for a response from you, needing the feeling of your skin under his mouth which earned him a moan as he dropped his mouth to catch a nipple between his teeth.

The slight pain of his teeth dragging across your sensitive skin was drowned out by the pure pleasure coursing through your veins with every thrust of his hips and the feeling of his hand kneading at your other breast. His free hand found its way to the back of your thigh, groaning at the feeling of your soft skin between his fingers as he grasped at you, pulling your leg around his waist. He pulled it as high as he could with the restricting fabric of your clothes still hanging around your legs and the sudden change in angle had him hitting your g-spot on every thrust.

There was something completely animalistic about the noise he made as he pushed even deeper inside of you, something caught between a growl and a deep moan. You couldn't help your body's response when he got like this, the cry that crept up your throat as he gave into every, rough and wild thought he'd ever had about you. You tried to lift your hips, wanting to meet him thrust for thrust as the way his pubic bone ground against your clit drove you insane but it was all too much. His movements were too fast for you to match. You gave in, switching off your brain as you gave every ounce of power over to his demanding hands, falling limp against him while his nails bit into your skin where he grasped and groped at you.

 He buried his face into the crook of your neck once more, the smell of sex on your skin taking over his mind as his lips ghosted over the red mark on your neck that was already turning to shades of yellow and purple. You could feel every heavy pant and growl that he couldn't control against your heated skin, the sounds rumbling through your chest where he was pressed against you. He turned his attention back to your neck covering you in sloppy, open-mouthed kisses. All teeth and tongue. It was like he couldn't focus enough to kiss you properly anymore, his mind so clouded by lust he was only able to give into that primal urge to feel. His lips moved against your skin, sucking roughly until he was sure you'd be covered in marks across your neck and shoulder. His marks. He pulled away watching with heavy eyes as the bruises started to form over your skin, your neck and his lips still coated with spit.

"Look at ya. All marked up for me. Y'like wearin' my fuckin' bite mark like a brand? Wanna show everyone who owns ya? Show 'em who fucked this pussy s'good ya let me claim ya? Too fucked out to even argue now aren't ya? Takin' my dick like a good lil' bitch." His words were a possessive growl now, barely even still audible. You weren't even sure if he was still talking to you directly or if he was simply giving into the urge to voice that you were his and nobody else's.

Not that he had to remind you who you belonged to. There had never been a single doubt in your mind about that from the minute you met him. No one else could bring you to this kind of high, could dominate you in every way you needed like he could. That man controlled every single one of your waking thoughts and you'd never hesitate to give him anything and everything he ever wanted. You were completely and utterly, his. You wouldn't have it any other way.

Daryl adjusted your weight in his arms as you felt him getting closer, his grip faltering as he struggled to keep his mind focused on keeping you both standing. Part of him thought about just dropping you to the ground, fucking you against the dirt. You could feel the bark of the tree digging into the skin of your back as he lifted you and you were sure you would have small scratched after it but as long as he kept doing what he was you couldn't bring yourself to care. The only thought left in your mind was your impending orgasm. You could feel it building, every nerve in your body lighting up, sensitive to any touch as that tension in your stomach built higher and higher. You felt Daryl's cock twitch inside you in response to a particularly high-pitched moan and you knew he wasn't far behind you.

"Daryl -" You gasped out trying to find the words to warn him of just how close you were getting but he was losing himself in the feeling, his rhyme faltering as his thrusts started to come faster and faster, more uncontrolled. His face nuzzled at your neck as his thrusts only seemed to grow rougher, taking you for everything you had. "Daryl I'm - ah fuck - I'm so close -"

"C'mon then, take what y'want Doll. Know how badly ya want it. Wanna feel ya cummin' on dick, let me feel that pussy squeezin' me 'til I cum in ya. Y'want that? Want my cum drippin' from ya when I'm done with ya? Let me use ya 'til I'm all spent huh? Imma ruin ya for anyone else. This pussy's all mine." You couldn't hold yourself back anymore at his words, screaming out his name until your voice was hoarse as the tension finally snapped. You were sure you drew the attention of anyone and anything for miles as your screams of his name echoed through the woods but you couldn't bring yourself to care, not with the feeling that was flooding your body. You clung to him as if your life depended on it, your arms wrapped around his neck as you buried your face in his chest when you couldn't take it anymore. He fucked you through your orgasm never once letting up his thrusts.

You ripped a moan from his throat as you clenched around his cock, your body still spasming from the force of your orgasm as you struggled to tell where it ended. He was following you down and you could tell from the harsh rise and fall of his chest as he used his full body to pin you up. His thrusts were becoming sloppy, his pelvis grinding against your clit sending you into overstimulation that had you whimpering as you weakly pawed at his chest trying to escape the feeling. With one final sharp thrust, he pushed himself as deep inside you as he could, brushing your cervix as his fingers flexed against your hips, holding onto you with everything he had.

"Fuckin' perfect tight pussy. God y'feel s'good takin' everything I have. S'pretty all fun and drippin' for me. Takin' all my cum." He panted out this voice breaking as you felt him twitch, finally spilling inside of you. He held himself there for a minute basking in the feeling of your body still slowly coming down around him while he held his cum inside you. He stepped back when he felt himself start to soften and took in the sight between your legs. His cum dripped down your already-soaked thighs and he brought his hand down, pushing his fingers through the mix of both of you before sliding them inside of you again. The feeling of him pushing past your already sensitive folds making you whimper. "Gone and made a fuckin' mess now look at ya. Complete fuckin' wreck."

"Just - just felt so good." You whimpered your eyes falling closed as your head tipped back, hiding the three behind you with a soft thud. You couldn't find the energy in you to move, completely spent and exhausted as you fought just to keep your legs steady underneath you as your knees threatened to give out entirely. You felt Daryl move towards you, carefully pulling your underwear and pants back up your legs before sliding an arm around your waist.

"Think y'can walk or do y'want me to carry ya?"

Taglist: @azanoni @ineedmorefanfics2 @natnoble4 @gutssoverrfearr @ivuravix @spookyspiderseb

[hoshikarasu]

Hi! Can I request Jacq from Pokémon SV x male reader? If you accept this request, thank you!! (^ o ^)

STAFFROOM SWEETHEARTS. — JACQ X M!READER

❛ ⠀♡ . ˑ⠀featuring   :    jacq

❛ ⠀♡ . ˑ⠀synopsis   :    a budding love is blossoming between you and your fellow colleague ! 

❛ ⠀♡ . ˑ⠀notes   :    male reader. fluff. teacher/teacher trope. plus general thoughts. brief reference to hassel/brassius. headcanons. not proofread. hope you enjoy anon ♡ !!

When you decided to seek out a career in being an instructor, not once did you think that you would wind up with a job to teach at Mesagoza’s well-known academy. 

Clavell was more than pleased to welcome you to the faculty. You were invited to come to the academy and get familiar with the place before the new school year commenced. 

During that visit, you came across some of your new colleagues, who all happily introduced themselves and offered to show you around the academy. All of them were incredibly kind, but you found your gaze continuously gravitating towards one in particular.

The slightly disheveled, easy-going man who looked like he’d appreciate a quick nap.

 From the moment that his eyes landed on you, he smiled softly and greeted you with a cute, “Hello, hello!”

After that visit, you two started to become closer to one another. It was far too easy to fall into long conversations with him. Which only started to become a bit of a problem when you would both realize that you’re running late to your own classes. 

Speaking of your class, you teach Pokemon Handling. The ways to care for various types of Pokemon and what’s necessary to ensure they live healthy lives.

There are times where your lessons branch off to the biology aspects of these Pokemon types, which leads to you and Jacq planning lessons to do joint classes. 

It doesn’t take long for the students to pick up on how you stare at Jacq, most likely the most interested in his rambling, when he starts to get into specifics and the way that Jacq looks more energized and at peace when you’re stepping in to share your own knowledge.

This has led to these students coming up with theories about you two. A lot of speculations arise, questions going on whether you two were even interested in men. Regardless, there are those that compare the way you two are to Hassel and Brassius, which only spawns in more discussions on your guys’ relationship.

Of course, students being students, they attempt to ask in what they believe are subtle ways. Anytime Jacq asks if anyone has any questions, he’s surprised to see the amount of hands going on when he’s been accustomed to them being more prepared to leave over anything else.

There are no words to describe the shock that washed over him when the question pertained to you and whether he likes you. Of course, he’s chuckling lightly while he runs his fingers through his already messy hair as he struggles to come up with a response. 

No, he’s not surprised that his students managed to pick up on his growing feelings. They’re a smart bunch and very observant. Maybe a bit too observant for their own good.

He’ll try to direct the conversation back to the topic on hand though he does mention that he likes you very much, in a platonic sense (not that any of his students believe that part) and considers you to be a brilliant instructor.

The rumors only grow faster once that happened.

If you thought it was only your students attempting to meddle however they can then you’d be very mistaken. The other faculty start to get involved as well in their own ways.

Salvatore offers cute phrases in other languages to say, and Saguaro talks a lot about how you and Jacq should go out on a picnic and the many sandwiches you could make together. 

Once you both start dating, it’s as if everyone in the academy can tell. Many of the students are happy to see two of their favorite instructors with each other, especially when they caught on that they were crushing beforehand. The other faculty members tease you both for doing the slightest bit of affection in the lounge room.

Every time you head into the lounge room, you always have a second drink just for Jacq. And each time, he will thank you by pressing a gentle kiss to your temple.

There are moments where he feels so tired but one glance at you gives him the motivation to get through the rest of the day. He greatly appreciates that you’re able to sense when his internal battery is dwindling down and welcomes the cuddles that you initiate with him. Expect to have plenty of dates that involve napping together.

You’re the one to make sure that he doesn’t drown himself in his research. Jacq has the tendency to lose track of time, unless he has something scheduled with you, so you’re often the one that your other colleagues ask to go find him to pull him out of his work.

Anytime he discovers something new, you’re the first person he turns to. You always listen to him attentively. He does the same in return whenever you get in a rambling mood, especially when you’re caring for your or his Pokemon and talk about some fun facts about little quirks or things that the Pokemon like. 

Whenever he catches you battling for any reason, whether you’re helping him with his research or you’re both simply out and about, he’s always in awe at your strength. 

The second that you turn around to return back to him, he’s staring at you with such a tender look on his face. “That’s my boyfriend!” He praises, eyes closing as he smiles at you. Your strength and Pokemon is a wonder and he will never get tired of watching you.

[batmanego]

Talk about Jason and Barbara next

THE SCRAPING AND THE AGONY AND LET THE BLOOD RAIN FALL

i think barbara probably has a somewhat similar relationship to jason as the one dick has to him, except that i think jason likes her more than he likes dick #SORRYDICK. barbara hates watching jason do this to himself but she also respects herself enough to not push him in the same ways dick does, because she knows doing so will only serve to make jason angry with her and with himself and push him back into isolation. it’s a veeeeeery tenuous peace, sustained mostly by barbara’s historically keen ability to read jason (“you’re keyed into his emotions” “that’s because he’s emotional” etc etc). i do think she does occasionally push against his ideas too hard and he does snap and lash out at here, but those instances are far and few between when compared to dick and jason’s ebb and flow, push and pull. also, she doesn’t LIKE the attempted child murder, and probably is/was really mad about it, but damian was not her brotherson so it’s slightly different there.

fundamentally i think barbara, like the other people in jason’s life, wants something from jason that he is unwilling to give, and that will always create a divide between them (not that it’s barbara’s fault. jason built the cage and burnt his bridges himself, and is actively choosing not to leave the cage and to turn away help when it’s offered). barbara also is sort of trapped in some sort of Guilt Nexus as a result of the fact that she pointed out jasons emotional problems to bruce and thus holds herself responsible (in part) for what happened to him — maybe if she had been stronger/smarter/firmer/a better role model/etc, this all could have been avoided (though i don’t think she’s quite at the bruce wayne levels of self pity where she starts blaming herself for jasons actions — mostly just for the fact that he died in the first place)

jason appreciates having someone who knows when to not push the issue, but i do think that barbara’s unwillingness to engage in outright hostility with him most of the time grates on him and makes him feel like he’s being talked down to. he also HAAAAAATEEEEEESSSSSSSSS her Creepy Watcher nature (much like he hates bruce’s) and as a result i think the face to face communication they have is fairly limited — he’s too paranoid about her planting bugs or gleaning too much information about his life. but she is his favorite and he likes her a lot both as a person and as a… pseudo-sister figure..? she has enough distance from batman that she is (mostly) safe in his eyes (and he gets a kick out of ragging on bruce with her when he’s in that mindset), and also the two of them have enough history from when he was a kid that she is a familiar and comforting presence when he’s really desperate. i wouldn’t say the two of them are close, because i think jason has made “getting close” with him a virtual impossibility for his family/family friends (And this is good for him. Trust.Its working out really well), but shes definitely up there. i would say she and duke are probably the people he’s closest to that are batman-adjacent.

[genericpuff]

LR is really, really good but I just wanted to say something- this is probably more about the readers than LR itself, but when it's said that LR is so much better than LO artistically (which it is!!), like say in terms of writing, pacing, and art - I think it's also not an apples to apples comparison, since LR has LO to draw inspiration from and a lot of external reactions to LO to learn from for what to do and not to, while LO is both time-constrained and (when it started out), didn't have much basis to compare to.

(The SA plotline is one example.. many criticize RS and say she shouldn't have written it in the first place but that's the thing - she actually didn't know. While I agree it's really shitty and RS has definitely ignored a lot of criticism she should take into consideration, the conclusion that she shouldn't have written it in the first place wasn't something that she knew about until after fans pointed it out. She definitely is mishandling it now, but I think writing that in at the start was born out of actual ignorance - different from her problems now, since she's now actively ignoring and shutting down the feedback she does need to get better. This blowing up educated a lot of people- probably not you specifically- and opened up a lot of dialogue for things that Rachel likely didn't have access to at the start of LO. and has no excuse for now.)

Anyway, yeah - Love Lore Rekindled, thank you for creating it! Genuinely, I do - this ask isn't meant to be a bad thing against you at all, nor do you need to reply to it.

Not a bad thing in the slightest, I honestly agree with you! The reality is that LR wouldn't exist without LO, so to try and compare them feels kind of like... it defeats the point?

Like obviously Rekindled was made with similar intentions, I'm not gonna sit here and pretend like Rekindled wasn't made out of spite over what could have been, but at the heart of it all, it doesn't exist to 'flex' on LO, really it's just to help recapture that joy and beauty that the original comic had that I fell in love with in the first place. It's only because I loved the original concept and foundation of LO so much that it exists. That's also why I call it an "AU" of sorts, as a sort of "alternate reality where LO didn't turn out the way it did" experiment lmao Mostly by maintaining the consistency in the original art style and paying off those earlier plot threads that didn't payoff the way we were anticipating or were dropped entirely. Sure, it's trying (and in some ways succeeding) to be "better" than LO, but that definition of "better" and how it's applied was what we were hoping to get out of LO in the first place.

So yeah, when people say "the art/writing is so much better than LO's!" part of me tries to take it as the compliment it's undoubtedly intended to be, but also I'm like "ack, that's not the point!! the art still doesn't look exactly like LO, I'm failing!!" LMAO I suppose that's part of the magic, but it doesn't fully align with my original goals or intentions. That's the struggle of art stylization, you can try and mimic another person's work as much as you want, but you can never mimic the them that's in their work, just like how you can't remove the you that's in yours. I want to be at peace with my own work and what I put into it, so I try not to compare them too much and just treat them as their own unique separate things (even if one of them is directly trying to resemble the other). It's okay that Rekindled doesn't look or read exactly the same as LO, but in saying that it's 'better' defeats the point of why Rekindled exists in the first place and diminishes LO's part in the process. LO has to exist - all of its best and worst parts - for Rekindled to exist, so putting LO down just to raise LR up... isn't that kind of what we criticize all the time within the comic, how it can't seem to hold up its best parts without putting down others? Why can't they both have their own things worth appreciating on their own exclusive of one another?

This is also why I generally ask people to not share Rekindled with the general Lore Olympus hashtags or post about it in the fan groups (and why I don't mirror it on Webtoons) because I just like... don't want it to come across as some "booo you like LO??? go read this instead!" type deal. I want people to be able to enjoy Rekindled as its own standalone story as an extension of LO, in the form of what could have been. There's a very thin line in the sand between Rekindled being just what it is and it being used against the fans as if it's a crime for them to still genuinely enjoy LO. I can't enjoy LO in good faith anymore, but that doesn't mean I make Rekindled for the sake of ruining that good faith in others. I was a fan too, once upon a time, so Rekindled is just as much for the fans as it is for the people like me who started off loving this comic just to be disappointed in the end and yearning for the "what if" that could have been.

And yeah, it's absolutely an advantage that I have in my court that I have the knowledge of knowing what LO started as and where it went wrong to work off of, an advantage that Rachel didn't have. It's like when I look back on my original pages in Time Gate: Reaper and think "man, I wish I had known xyz when I made these so they could be better!" but if I hadn't made them like that the first time, I wouldn't be able to reflect on them now knowing I've improved. In that same regard, Lore Olympus had to run so that Lore Rekindled could crawl. And I'm forever thankful to LO - and Rachel - for giving us something we could all connect over to such an extensive degree that Rekindled could exist at all.

[fxoye2]

i love asking you stuff about characters and reading your replies. it feels like you understand them so well and you delve into their psyches and personalities and struggles with such passion and care, and love. you genuinely give so much reasoning and explanations for why they are that way and prompt people to look past the superficial aspects and actually consider their roots. i am genuinely interested in your thoughts about snw Spock. you seem to be one of the few people here who actually don’t straight up hate him and actually give valid opinions about why he is the way he is, and why he is not TOS spock yet, despite most fans hating that version of him. i am one of those who don’t really like how he’s portrayed but i feel like that’s because i am so used to TOS spock snw spock just feels.. wrong. i would love to understand him better from your perspective since you seem like a really thoughtful person and your analysis are always on point.

Oh my gosh, thank you so much for this! I’m genuinely honored that you enjoy my ramblings about these characters because I get so emotional and attached when it comes to Spock (in all his forms). I completely get why SNW Spock doesn’t sit right with you (and a lot of people), especially when you’re used to TOS Spock, who’s just this untouchable, beautifully alien, and deeply queer-coded character. But I’d love to help you understand my take on SNW Spock and why, despite his rough edges and some questionable choices, I think there’s a lot going on with him beneath the surface that we can explore and appreciate.

First off, I totally agree that SNW Spock is hard to relate to for TOS fans because he’s so much more humanized and… well, messy. And that messiness can make him feel like a betrayal of the Spock we know from TOS, who is all about restraint, logic, and this very dignified alienness. But here’s the thing about SNW Spock: he’s not supposed to feel like TOS Spock yet, and that’s not an excuse to justify everything he does—it’s about showing us a version of him that’s still in the process of becoming.

SNW Spock is still figuring himself out—and I mean that in the most profound sense. At this point in his life, he hasn’t fully accepted that his human side isn’t something to hide or suppress. He’s still caught in this place where he believes he needs to earn acceptance, whether from Vulcans, from Starfleet, or even from himself. He’s trying to fit into these societal molds, and that’s where a lot of the disconnect comes from when you compare him to TOS Spock. In TOS, Spock has already done a lot of this internal work, but in SNW, he’s still deep in that struggle.

Let’s talk about the “relatability” issue, because I think this is where the heart of the discomfort lies. A lot of fans, especially queer folks, have always found Spock relatable because of how unrelatable he is. His alienness, his restraint, his sense of always being on the outside looking in—those are things that resonate so deeply with people who feel different from the world around them. SNW Spock, on the other hand, feels more traditionally relatable, in a very human, almost insecure way. He’s awkward, he’s unsure, and sometimes, he’s even a little bit emotionally sloppy. It’s a jarring shift from the Spock we know, and I think that’s what makes it feel wrong to a lot of people. It feels like they’re stripping him of his alienness and making him “just like us,” when part of what makes Spock Spock is that he isn’t like us.

But here’s where I think it’s important to dig deeper. SNW Spock’s relatability isn’t supposed to be comfortable. It’s supposed to show us that he is uncomfortable. He’s not at peace with himself yet, and that awkwardness we see, the messiness, the moments where he’s not quite as restrained as we’d expect—that’s a direct reflection of the fact that he’s still struggling to reconcile his two sides. He hasn’t yet learned to embrace his human emotions or his Vulcan logic fully, and so he’s in this liminal space where he’s trying too hard to be something that he’s not.

Take his appearance, for example—the fact that he’s fit, perfectly groomed, and polished. This isn’t just about looking good for Starfleet. It’s about control. It’s about Spock trying to hold onto something, anything, that makes him feel like he’s in charge of his identity. By keeping himself physically perfect, he’s projecting an image of control and discipline, even though inside, he’s far from it. His appearance is his way of compensating for the chaos he feels internally. He hasn’t reached the point where he’s comfortable letting go of those superficial markers of success and perfection. And that’s why he feels so different from TOS Spock—he’s not yet secure enough in who he is to stop caring about how others perceive him.

Now, the really tricky part: his relationships with women. I know this is one of the biggest sticking points for a lot of fans, especially because TOS Spock never really shows any interest in women, and his bond with Jim feels so queer-coded and deep. So why is SNW Spock out here kissing women? Is it just bad writing? Is it erasing his queerness? Personally, I don’t think so.

To me, Spock’s interactions with women in SNW are another symptom of his internal conflict. He’s following a script—a script that says if a woman shows interest in you, you’re supposed to reciprocate, because that’s what people do, right? At this point, Spock is still so wrapped up in what’s expected of him that he’s not acting out of genuine desire; he’s acting out of a sense of obligation. He’s not comfortable enough with himself to reject those scripts yet, and he hasn’t fully realized that his feelings don’t have to align with societal norms. It’s not about homophobia or heteronormativity, exactly—it’s about Spock still figuring out what he wants, and until he understands that, he’s going to go along with what he thinks is “normal.”

But here’s the thing: it feels out of character because Spock is out of sync with himself. He’s not fully Spock yet—he’s in this awkward, uncomfortable stage where he’s trying to be something he’s not, and we’re watching that play out. It’s uncomfortable for us because it’s uncomfortable for him. He hasn’t figured out that he doesn’t need to fit into those expectations—whether that’s maintaining a perfect appearance, or engaging in romantic relationships that don’t actually resonate with him. That’s what makes his portrayal in SNW feel so disjointed from TOS Spock, but it’s also what makes it interesting. We’re watching him struggle, and struggle is never pretty.

And that’s the part that I think people hate, because we want Spock to be Spock—this wonderfully strange, alien figure who doesn’t fit in because that’s what makes him so relatable to people who don’t fit in either. But SNW is showing us the painful process of him realizing that. Right now, he’s still trying to perform, to meet expectations, to fit into a mold that was never made for him. That includes his relationships, his appearance, and even how he carries himself emotionally. He’s not out here kissing women because he’s suddenly straight—it’s because he’s trying to follow a path that doesn’t suit him, and he hasn’t yet figured out that he’s allowed to forge his own way.

So, I get it. SNW Spock feels wrong because he’s supposed to feel wrong—he’s still out of balance, still trying to reconcile who he is with who he thinks he needs to be. But that’s what makes this era of his life so important. It’s the uncomfortable, awkward, messy part of his journey where he’s still learning that he doesn’t need to meet anyone else’s expectations to be enough. He hasn’t learned yet that his humanity isn’t something to suppress, but something to embrace. He hasn’t yet figured out that it’s okay to not fit in, and that trying to be perfect all the time is a losing game.

SNW Spock is searching. He’s trying to find himself in a world that’s constantly telling him to be something else, and that’s why he feels so distant from the Spock we know and love. But that discomfort? That’s part of the process. It’s hard to watch, especially when you love TOS Spock’s alienness and queerness, but it’s a necessary step for him to get to a place of peace with himself. He’ll get there, but for now, he’s still lost in the mess of trying to fit in. And that’s what makes him so human, even if it’s uncomfortable to see.

[babblingeccentric]

Marco NSFW ABC headcanons

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He's attentive and sweet about cleaning you up but he really isn't a fan of pillow talk. He wants to sit quietly in the peace of post orgasm and stare out the window maybe have a rare smoke. He'll cuddle you if you ask and are quiet about it.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He likes his legs. And his chest. And his wings.

He'll lie and say he's a tits man but what he really likes is his partner's face.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

It's vaguely sweet since he eats a lot of fruit and he likes coming on your thighs and stomach

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Doesn't really have any. He's private about his sex life compared to a lot of other guys because he doesn't brag but he doesn't really feel shame about his sexual desires. I do think he'd be a little ashamed of having a partner much younger than him in a relationship. He doesn't want people to think he's taking advantage of you, even if he does find your ingenue vibe very attractive

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Very experienced but you don't know it until you get him into bed. He doesn't like to brag. His previous conquests will do that for him

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He likes it when you're on your back on the bed or the desk or the counter and hes standing up

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Slightly more to the goofy side, simply as a way to defuse the tension. He likes to make his partner feel comfortable. He also just doesn't take stuff too seriously.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He doesn't have a lot of body hair and his bush kinda matches his head hair and looks like an upside down palm tree. Don't laugh at it he'll get cranky

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He tends to have more casual sex than actual relationships, and he's not really a super romantic guy either. I think his love language is quality time. Anyway I think he's a good lover he's just not very intimate or romantic about it usually. I think the intimacy is more something that evolves naturally from when he keeps coming back if I'm making sense

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Usually does it in the shower because it's the most reliable time and place that he gets left alone. Somebody's always asking him to reattach their pinky or look at their weird rash on this ship

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Brat tamer. He likes a little challenge to his authority. And an excuse to punish.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

The bedroom is a classic but due to aforementioned vying for his time anywhere with a lock on the door is his preference. Some people on this ship don't know how to knock.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

He really likes it when you get dressed up all nice for him. He likes a little insubordination too.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He's not into any serious edgeplay where he has to be super careful about managing your safety- breathplay, suspension, knife or gunplay, cutting or whipping, stuff like that. He also hates if you do something just cause it gets him off. It's important to him that you're just as into it.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Eats pussy absolutely spectacularly and enjoys it, it's an open secret among the nurses who absolutely take advantage. Can appreciate a good blowjob as a quick and easy way to get off but he doesn't like to suck dick very much himself.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.

Tends toward hard and steady but a little on the slow side. He likes to take his time with good things in life.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Like I said he likes to take his time, so he's not huge into quickies. But if a partner initiates one he's not going to say no.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He doesn't like super risky kink where he genuinely has to worry about harming you. However he does like making you struggle to be quiet so you don't get caught. He's pretty game to experiment otherwise though.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Can last a good while but he's too old cum more than once an hour these days.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He's got one or two, a Fleshlight and maybe a vibrator or dildo. He usually uses them on himself but if a partner shows interest he'll use them on you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Definitely a bit of a tease. He likes taking his time and making a partner beg for it before finally giving it to them. But he can also be pretty giving and indulgent it honestly depends on his mood.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's a pretty quiet guy naturally. He'll grunt and moan softly and swear a little. But he's not usually very loud or talkative.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Generally a top, and was pretty strict about it when he was younger but he loosened up a bit as he got older. Now he'll bottom very occasionally if he's in the mood for it and it's pretty spectacular.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He's got chicken legs despite them being his strongest body part. He shaves his chest hair so his tattoo is visible. Respectably average dick. Uncircumcised. Used to have a tan line from his stupid anklet. Still has a sandals tan.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Pretty average. It's not high but it'll keep you satisfied.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

One of those weird guys who doesn't get sleepy after sex. He likes to just sit quietly and stare out the window. He prefers a partner that falls asleep immediately because then he gets his peace and quiet. And he likes to watch his partner sleep because he thinks it's cute.

[halfnekoslair]

My AU main design post

Might be beta >w< Maybe I'll change something. People here make such interesting iterations and mine looks very basic.

But I'll post them anyway

In the subject of eyes, I know that Leo's and Raph's eyes look a little strange in my drawings. It is intentionally so. I wanted to portray Leo's eyes so dark that instead of a pupil, only a reflection is visible. And Raph's eyes should look more animal-like because he's basically my AU's main victim)

Leo: - Was appointed as oldest brother by Splinter. - Daddy's favorite. The best at many things that Splinter considers important. - Often refuses to participate in activities where he knows he will not be the best. - Arrogant, but afraid of the slightest dispraise. - Finds himself pretty cute. >w< - Minimum gear because he's that good. -Thinks black makes him look more ninja. - Quite a positive and adventurous person actually. He sees good in people. - And makes them feel a lot of cringe by telling them about it. - Come on, bad guys. Stop being bad. - A bit of a hypocrite as he thinks it's OK to beat up robbers while his whole family is stealing groceries.

Raph: - Was considered youngest due to the fact that he was lost in the first months after the mutation, but he fought his way to the second oldest position. Literally fought) - Obsessed with physical dominance. Puts strength training far ahead of stealth. - In fact, Splinter is the only one in the family on a relatively healthy diet with him. But they still don't get along and criticize each other in detail. - Likes to look monstrous and scare people. - Not exactly anger management issue... Rather, general cruelty towards humans plus inability to express emotions in a peaceful and quiet way. His brothers often can't tell if he just being loud for the sake of being loud or because something really happened. So they mostly ignore it all. This causes a lot of resentment. - He's pretty pessimistic and it's the hardest thing to get his trust. - In fact, he wants to be proved that he is wrong. - Almost no gear because he doesn't care. He will change his mind after the first major injury.

Donnie: - The middle child who is calm in this position because they all share the same birthday. And it's all stupid. - Considered the weakest fighter in the family, but generally too smart and strategic for that to be a problem. - He thought he would catch up with his brothers in training, but seeing how Leo and Raph jumping out of their shells, he realized he doesn't want to spend so much time on it instead of things he's really interested in. - Looks most human in proportion. Sometimes he dresses as a human to get into a place he really want. - Has an old grudge against Splinter that father does not appreciate his abilities enough and prefers playing ninjas with Leo. - It's mostly him who challenges Leo as a leader by criticizing his plans. - Technical genius. Compared to those around him) Can assemble almost anything. - Bonding with Mikey and Raph around this. - Sees the world in rather gloomy colors, but willingly jumps into any adventure if there is something interesting for him. - Carries a bag with all possible stuff. Outside of combat, he often lets Raph carry it. (He would never agree to carry it if he knew even half of what's inside) - All gear that he deemed reasonable to use. Mikey: - The youngest child, theoretically, and uses this position to his advantage. - Pretty acrobatic despite looking chubby. - Splinter thinks he's a gifted ninja, but Mikey keeps screwing up in training. - Maybe he doing it on purpose. Because it's very important for Leo to be the best and so on. - The best at cooking, but makes the kitchen a mess, which causes conflict with Raph, who also uses the kitchen. - Light and free spirited. Glad to make friends with anyone without questions. Often gets into trouble. -But he always gets saved and doesn't learn anything because he doesn't get the consequences. - The peacemaker. Knows when and what to say. - But often says something stupid just to see the result. - All the gear his brothers were able to get him to wear. Because the little one needs to be protected. - Wears cartoon character keychains and rattles them on missions, driving Leo crazy. Link to the post with all parts of this AU: url It's mostly at the very beginning >w<

[detectivecarisi-1]

The Senator’s Daughter Chapter 2 (Bodyguard! Dave York x Female Reader

AN: Lol I am alive. Honestly, I am even surprised this took as long as it did, but I transferred from my old job teaching at a middle school (after a student threatened to stab me lol) and moved to a high school, so I had to completely restart my curriculum, which, if you’ve been following me, is why I’ve been having a bit of a mental breakdown as of lately. But being at the high school has been so much better for me, so I am finally back to writing! I appreciate you all for your patience, and if you’re reading this, thank you for coming back :) I am currently figuring out how to make a masterlist, so hopefully that gets up soon. I have alot of oneshots in mind for Din Djarin (my beloved) and Joel Miller… But we’ll see if I ever have the time to write those. I know there’s a ton of new people to the Pedro Pascal fandom so... that makes me a little nervous. But, stay tuned! Thank you again! - Megan 

Rating: M for language, and discussions of drugs and alcohol. Future chapters will be explicit, so 18+ ONLY!!! MINORS DNI\

Word Count: 2.5k 

Warnings: A lot of language (sorry, I have the mouth of a sailor, it’s hard to write without it), Eventual Smut (18+ FOR THE WHOLE SERIES), AFAB! Reader, HUGE divergence from canon, MeanDom!Dave York, Dom/Sub undertones, Brattysub!Reader, legal age gap relationship, Enemies to lovers, Mentions of drug/alcohol abuse, self-destructive behaviors, corrupt cops (probably only in this chapter), Politics lol, Minor violence (probably?), eventual mentions of parental abuse. 

Tags: @fatimaisabelpascal

If you’d like to be tagged in future chapters, feel free to dm me! 

________________________________________________________________

“Sir, yes, sir” she says before slipping into the connected bathroom to shower. Dave starts to turn away, to give her some form of privacy, but Senator Leland grabs him by the arm before they could leave. Dave watches, as the strict father act Leland was putting on earlier melts away, as he slumps against the wall near the bathroom door.

“I just… I wanna make sure she gets in okay.” Just like his daughter, Senator Leland looks completely different than how the news channels show him. Where she looks younger, and softer than the washed-up party girl TMZ shows, Till Leland looks more exhausted, and unsure of himself, compared to the confident, perfectly styled politician he saw on MSNBC. Dave, after years of service in the CIA, has a certain skill for reading people, and Dave doesn’t see Mr. Leland as a slimy, sure of himself politician, he just sees a tired father. His shirt is wrinkled, and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, he looks exhausted, like he has been up all night. Mr. Leland stands, close to his daughter private bathroom, waiting for the sound of the shower to turn on, with one of his hands pinching the bridge of his nose.

Dave takes his time to look around the girl’s room. Just like the girl herself, her room is nowhere near what Dave would’ve expected. Despite the shoes in her bed, and the mascara stains on a pristine white pillowcase, her room is perfectly kept. She has a makeup desk, with a few photos of her smiling next to a small white dog. On a shelf above her bed, she has a collection of stuffed animals, each one seems to be placed carefully, with the smaller ones in the front and center, while the larger ones are arranged in a neat row behind them. He spots a bookshelf in the corner, with a few cookbooks, The Great Gatsby, and War and Peace, Dave raises his eyebrows, genuinely impressed when he spots a tasseled bookmark, sticking out of the book, she’s almost finished with it. Dave had expected her room to be a complete mess, with dirtied clothes, bottles of pills and alcohol, and the trash overflowing, but this is the room of a normal girl. She continues to defy his expectations.

Finally, the shower starts, and Dave watches the senator’s entire body relax with relief. Senator Leland turns to Dave, “You have kids, Dave?” Dave nods, “two girls.” The senator nods… “so you… understand what I’m trying to do. I just want to make sure she’s okay… I don’t know what else to do.”

Dave doesn’t respond. Dave would stop at nothing to ensure their safety and their health. Dave has killed for much less, but for his daughters? He would make anyone, anyone who even looks his daughter’s direction with a sense of malice, suffer until they are begging for him to kill them.

He looks at the senator, he sees a distraught father, desperate to save his little girl from her own self-destruction. Dave thinks… If this was his child, he would burn down every nightclub in the state and nail her door shut. Perhaps Till Leland’s plan is just a little more level-headed. Dave has never been the best at controlling his temper, so a he understands the Senator, sure, however, he still questions how things could’ve gotten this bad with the girl.

Dave simply sets his jaw, and nods.

The senator runs a hand through his hair, sniffs and turns to Dave, shifting back into the smooth-talking senator Dave met earlier that morning. “Let me show you around the house. I can show you where you’ll be staying.”

They leave the girl’s room, and Senator Leland leads Dave to a room, only across the hall from the girl’s room. Leland opens the door, revealing a simple, but still beautiful bedroom. There it’s painted a soft gray, with dark wood floors, clearly original with the house, Dave can tell they’re aged, even though they had clearly recently been polished. There is an oak desk along the front wall, and a queen-sized bed with a white comforter on the opposite wall, with a simple nightstand beside it. Senator Leland breaks the silence “It’s not much, I know. Before my dad passed he stayed here full time.” Leland opens a door in the back corner, “You have your own restroom, shower, bath, anything you need. Dave don’t hesitate to ask for anything else. I know this job isn’t the same as a simple celebrity escort. I want to make sure you are well taken care of, so you can take the best care of my daughter.”  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You step out of the shower, confused, and more hungover than you’ve been in your life. You look in the mirror, and oh great you look just as fucked up as you feel. Incredible. Thinking back to the mysterious “Mr.York”  in your room, you feel the heat of embarrassment warming the back of your neck… 

No big deal, just saw the hottest man I’ve ever seen, and what a great first impression, vomiting in a trashcan… things could be worse… hopefully.

 You look in the mirror, trying to piece together the night before, attempting to shake the weight of shame, and embarrassment that’s currently making you want to melt into the cool tile of the bathroom floor. It only worsens when you remember the look on your father’s face, he hasn’t looked that disappointed since… well ever. Some shit went down last night and its driving you crazy that you can’t remember a thing.

“Whatever… can’t get worse than this.”

You throw on some clean pajamas and stumble downstairs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As you enter the dining room, you spot Mr. York and your father, facing the stairwell, looking like something out of a sitcom’s “intervention” episode. If you weren’t so nervous, (and not insane) you would consider looking for a camera.

You get your first, clear-headed look at Mr. York, and, somehow, he's even more attractive when you’re (mostly) sober. You feel a little insecure, seeing him so perfectly put together and unaffected, and here you are, with your knees turning to jell-o.

Despite your distraction with Mr. York, you can still feel the tension in the air.

You walk up to your father and wrap him in a hug, that he doesn’t return, “Morning, old man. What’s the deal? Polling numbers down?” Your dad chuckles dryly “yeah, well, they’re about to be at least.”

His voice is raspy, he sounds exhausted. You hate that he feels like this, and, although you’re not exactly a genius, you know it’s somehow because of you.

You raise an eyebrow, and plop down on the seat across from your father… You pretend to think deeply for a moment, before gasping, “Oh, shit, they found out you did acid at a Nirvana concert in 91’?” you ask, trying desperately to lighten the mood.

“It was the Smashing Pumpkins, sweetheart, you know this. But no, that secret is locked away.” He smiles, and for a moment, he seems like it's just a normal morning, and that everything, deep down, is okay. But his face falls again, and he reaches across the table to grab your hand. “Honey… I love you very much, you know?”

Oh shit. This is bad, this is really bad.

You feel the color drain from your face, and your blood turns cold. You don’t trust your own voice to come out without squeaking, so you just give your dad a nervous smile.

 “You… you got arrested last night. You were found passed out in front of a nightclub, and when the cops came to help you up… you dropped a small bag of pills.” He refuses to meet your eyes, he’s chewing his lip, and takes a deep breath before he continues, “If it weren’t for the fact that Office Benson was on the scene, you would’ve been charged. Benson owes me a favor so, he confiscated the pills and let you off the hook, but honey… you had Percocet on you. Where did you even get them?”

Your head is swimming. This makes no sense, you would never, ever, get hooked on meds like that. Alcohol? You admit you tend to overindulge, but opioids? No. No way, never in a million years. You’re trying to make sense of this situation in your head, trying to figure out how to explain to your dad that you would never, you could never do that to yourself, or him. You’re shaking your head, and tears you refuse to let fall start to burn your eyes… All is made a little worse when you look up at Mr. York, who is staring at you with the coldest eyes you’ve ever seen on a man. He’s judging your every move, he looks disgusted by you. You make eye contact, hoping he’ll soften up, but no, he just stares you down until you nervously look away.

You turn to your father, hoping that he starts laughing and this is just some sick tactic to make you straighten up, but he instead looks at you with red eyes, and “Honey, I’m just so worried about you… I can’t lose you.”

Fuck… you need a drink.

Everything, from the very moment you woke up, has just been too much. You want to leave, go to some shitty bar downtown, take a couple shots, numb these feelings that are currently making that sour taste at the back of your throat return, and maybe then you can have a civil conversation.

But it's 9am and your dad would probably die of a broken heart in front of you.

Or worse, Mr. York looks like he could kill you himself.

Instead, you resort to trying to talk, your voice warbled the tears you apparently can no longer hold back, “but… I don’t do drugs, dad, you gotta believe me I… I don’t do drugs.” Maybe if you weren’t so overwhelmed, things may have been a little more eloquent, but all things considered, you’re pretty proud of yourself for getting through that in one piece. Considering how much you feel. You feel like a child, you’re embarrassed, and scared, and… you can’t even begin to figure out how to process this. 

Your dad straightens up a little, and he clears his throat a little.

“I know, honey, I know. They did a drug test, last night at the station, you’re cleanBut someone gave these to you, and you took them. You’re losing yourself, honey, you may not see it now, but I have to watch you slowly destroy yourself, I can’t do it anymore.” He stops for a second and presses the heels of his hands into his eyes, takes a deep breath, and like he’s presenting a new bill to the Senate floor he says, “honey, you have now made it clear to me that you cannot control yourself. This is no longer a simple rebellious phase.You may not see it, but I know are going to end up killing yourself and dragging me down with you if you keep going like this. You have shown me that I cannot trust you to stop, and that you will push things further and further with no regard for yourself or others. So, this is Dave York, he’s going to be your bodyguard until after the election.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, so maybe you could have handled your response better. But fuck this. Fuck Percocet, mega-fuck the person who gave them to you, and seriously fuck Mr. York.

After your dad broke the news that Mr. York was essentially going to be following you around, no privacy at all, to make sure you’re in, what your dad calls, “in a better place mentally and physically”, it’s all a blur of you screaming, “fuck that”, “absolutely not”, “I’m not a fucking child”, and “I’ll do what I fucking want”. Your dad, during your (admitted) tantrum, argued back trying to reason with you, but even more infuriating, Mr. York just sat, watching you with those cold, judging eyes. His lack of response only makes you angier, you want to affect him, you want to see him get up, and tell you to get over yourself, or explain why him being your bodyguard is great, hell, even if he just laughs and agrees with you, that would’ve been better than him sitting, completely still, while you have a complete breakdown in front of him.

After your dad yelled “I won’t let you kill yourself this way, you hear me?” you just… gave up. Stormed upstairs, where you are currently screaming into your pillow.

You fuck up one time, and all of the sudden you lose all your privacy?

Okay, sure, maybe this isn’t the “one time” you fucked up. But you’re 21 years old living in Virginia Beach, where there’s literally nothing else to do except go out and drink till you blackout, but, who even cares?

You’re losing your mind. You’re shaking, and crying, and, screaming in the pillow did nothing to help the very apparent emotional break you’re currently experiencing.

Nah, fuck this.

You walk over to your dresser and pull out the flask you take with you to clubs sometimes, you’re not even sure what this is filled with anymore, and honestly?  You don’t even care. You need to calm your nerves, and you’d take a shot of fucking rubbing alcohol right now if it was offered to you.

You’re about to take a sip, about to let whatever this mystery liquor is burn down your throat, to soothe your nerves…

“I’m going to need you to put that down.”

That’s… definitely not your father’s voice. And of course, as if he appeared torment you further, you see Mr. York casually standing in the entrance of your room, shutting the door quietly behind him.

How did he even get in here so quietly?

“Fuck off, Mr. York.” You roll your eyes, “I’m in my own room, I’m not hurting anyone, get off my back.”

He doesn’t respond, just stands and watches you, like he knows that enough to make you break.

He’s right.

“Jesus Christ! I don’t need this! I don’t need a ‘bodyguard’! I don’t need you! What I need is to just… fucking calm down I can’t think straight, and I’d be a hell of a lot better if it weren’t for you standing here like a fucking serial killer. Get out!” You’re screaming at him, of course having your second temper tantrum of the morning.

And just like always, he just stands there, his arms crossed, not the slightest bit moved by your outburst.

“Are you all done?”

You laugh bitterly, “fuck you. Mr. York.” You look up at him, challenging him to say something back to you, to finally acknowledge your frustration.

He shrugs, “the little temper tantrum you put on downstairs not enough for you? Had to do it again? Are you so pissed off that you didn’t get your way? You think you can just scream your way out if it? Keep trying, maybe eventually it’ll work.” He’s leaning against your bedroom door, and he said that all like he was just reading the forecast for the week. He doesn’t even sound mad, just annoyed, as if the very fact he has to speak to you is an inconvenience to him.

Okay… so maybe him just standing there is better than him being affected by you, when he just stood there, it was a lot less embarrassing, hurt a little less. He’s staring at you, with his hand held out, waiting for you to pass over the flask, “you gonna hand that over to me or do I need to take it from you.”

You hand him the flask and get back in bed.

[amethystviolist]

holy shit you wrote so much since march??? that is so fucking impressive!! and hey, creating things for older fandoms is the best, it's always good to see people still keeping them alive. now when you give updates i will finally know whats it about :'D would you wanna give a summary of the fic's premise?

Thank you for the appreciation and the ask again! Yeah I went kinda crazy with it lol; I slowed down to a more normal rate again in May, thankfully.

And sure! It's not a terribly original premise I'm afraid, and I don't have a real blurb yet, but basically, the fic revolves around Bilbo being a dragon with a limited ability to shapeshift. I've read multiple dragon!Bilbo works (and enjoyed them!), but I wanted to do a pretty different take on dragons compared to canon Tolkien or other fanfics I've read.

A teaser might be something like: Five hundred year old former dragon Bilbo Baggins has successfully kept his private vow of peaceful hobbitish living for fifty years when Gandalf turns up with an inviting offer of adventure and less-than-inviting dwarvish company. Bilbo is forced to weigh his need to protect his new friends against his fear of discovery every step of the way to the mountain, and by the time he realizes some secrets are truly too big to keep, Bilbo will have to decide exactly how much a dragon is willing to sacrifice for the dwarves of Erebor.

So for the conception of the fic, Tolkien's dragons are of course based on medieval epics where they're no more than cunning, cruel, and greedy creatures, and while that simplicity can be a good narrative tool, I got interested in the Middle Earth creation of dragons and then what else they might be besides vehicles for plot or embodiments of evil.

From extant theories on their creation (I'm skipping a lot of details on that or we'll be here all day!), I got really into my own take on draconic culture in Middle Earth, and then really into exploring Bilbo's trauma from his draconic past and how he's handling it as a hobbit (spoiler: he's just avoiding it). His canon character arc takes a naive bachelor to worldly adventurer, but my fic starts him from a place of power already. Dragon!Bilbo knows evil intimately and so he's terrified of himself. His arc instead involves accepting all parts of himself and allowing himself to really live again, and of course there's a lot of secrets and lying and oh god feelings that he has to deal with along the way.

Anyway, at its emotional core, the mega fic is about identity and self-acceptance/forgiveness. At its plot core, it's about keeping a terrible secret from thirteen people you want to befriend and how that causes a lot of interesting problems. I've written all the way through canon events (which are definitely more guidelines than rules, considering the impacts of Bilbo's true heritage) and am now in the murky waters of post-canon. I've got an outline and am working through it now. Post-canon deals mainly with the aftermath of a major sacrifice during BotFA (no spoilers!), and then what to do with the One Ring.

If you've read this far, thank! If you're still interested, please enjoy a little early excerpt below.

“‘Bilbo Baggins’, is it?” a deep voice read out.

The hobbit by that name, a middle-aged and bronze-haired fellow with a green waistcoat and a pipe in his mouth, looked up from the book on his lap and startled quite violently. 

“Gandalf,” Bilbo gasped, barely saving the book before it fell to the ground. The wizard in question was standing by his front gate and frowning at Bilbo’s nicely-labeled mailbox, his brow tight with confusion.

“My old friend, what in the names of the Valar are you still doing here?” Gandalf asked, sounding as genuinely surprised as Bilbo had ever heard him. 

“Ah.” Bilbo shifted a little on his nicely cushioned bench. “Well, you’ve been away for quite some time… I daresay I’ve changed quite a lot since we last met.”

“On that, we are agreed,” Gandalf replied, and stared at Bilbo as if trying to see through his very bones.

“Er, do come inside,” Bilbo invited him politely, and got to his feet. “I’ve got a kettle on, and some biscuits which aren’t too terribly burned.”

“A real achievement for one of your kind,” Gandalf chortled, until Bilbo shot him a glare. The wizard hurriedly quieted his amusement and let himself in the gate, following Bilbo up the grassy steps and through the green door that led to Bag End.

As soon as Bilbo closed the round door, he found himself unexpectedly nervous. He had nothing to fear from Gandalf, of course, but his situation was… inexplicably odd.

“So,” Bilbo began a little more hesitantly then he would have liked to admit, “What… brings you to the Shire?”

Gandalf fixed Bilbo with a disgruntled stare. “I was seeking you, of course! Imagine my surprise when I found your old caves deserted, your books and blankets all gone! I thought you’d been slain, and your treasures carried off, and yet somehow no one I asked knew anything about a-”

“Yes, yes, alright!” Bilbo interrupted with a suspicious glance out the nearest window. “I appreciate your concern, but not so loudly! I’m treated with enough suspicion as it is,” the hobbit grumbled, and motioned for Gandalf to follow him through the halls of Bag End until they reached the pantry, which was windowless and had two doors with sturdy locks. Bagginses of course protected their food well, as any respectable hobbit would, but Bilbo had also found that it was an excellent space for less-than-respectable happenings. 

Which he himself had no prior experience with, naturally.

“Olórin,” Bilbo breathed after he had lit a candle and closed both doors, sealing the wizard into the wide room. “My friend, it’s good to see you! I was going to send word, but I had no idea how a letter would reach you. You’re not called the Wandering Wizard for nothing, it seems,” Bilbo said with an amused smile.

“You could have left a note in the northern Blue Mountains!” Gandalf complained, shaking his head. “I had to fight my way through three dozen goblins before I found the levels where you used to reside.”

Bilbo gave him an unimpressed look, for only three dozen goblins were no match for one of the Istari at full strength, and they both knew it.

“It was an annoyance,” Gandalf amended at Bilbo’s expression. “And more importantly, it caused me no small amount of worry for your well-being.”

“Well, I didn’t mean to worry you. But you also could have come back sooner,” Bilbo said rather stiffly. He found himself compulsively organizing the jars of jam by size, until he realized he was acting a bit too much like Bungo and tried to stop fidgeting. “Belladonna and Bungo offered me their home and their name as my own, and Bag End is a much better place for reading than my old drafty caverns. It would have been ridiculous for me to refuse their kind offer.”

“And how are the dear Bagginses?” Gandalf asked, his eyes crinkling happily. “It’s been far too long since I’ve seen them…” The wizard trailed off. His countenance sobered all too quickly as he saw that Bilbo’s expression had turned cold and stony, his hands stilling on the many jars of jam. “Oh. Oh, I see,” he murmured. “I’m terribly sorry to hear that, my friend. I know how much they meant to you.”

The pantry was unbearably silent for a time.

“We shared books,” Bilbo finally said very quietly, and Gandalf looked so shocked that Bilbo would have surely found it amusing under other circumstances.

“Indeed,” Gandalf finally managed, eyeing Bilbo with fresh concern. 

The room was once again silent, and Bilbo shook his head to clear it. “My loss is not the reason you’ve come, though,” he said after a long moment, glaring at an innocent wheel of cheese, for anger was better to keep moving on with than sorrow. But he forced himself to gentle his gaze somewhat to look back up at Gandalf. “Is this merely a social call, then?”

Gandalf’s lips quirked back up into a typically mysterious smile. “I’m afraid not. In fact, I came looking for you to share in an adventure.”

“Adventure?” Bilbo snorted loudly, and ignored the twin wisps of smoke that emerged from his nostrils. “Gandalf, please, I’m far too old for such nonsense. Surely you have many other - and far more pleasant! - options for traveling companions.”

“I’m not going on a walking holiday,” Gandalf corrected him with a huff, now looking rather put out. “I’m escorting a third party on a quest to reclaim their homeland, and your skill set would be most helpful on this dangerous journey.”

“My ‘skill set’?” Bilbo repeated incredulously. “And what exactly is that supposed to mean? My ‘skills’ primarily consist of reading voraciously and offending the delicate sensibilities of my neighbors.”

The wizard fixed him with a piercing, knowing look. “We both know you’re more than a simple hobbit, my old friend.”

Bilbo scowled as fiercely as this face allowed, and crossed his arms in annoyance. “Maybe I don’t want to be more than a simple hobbit anymore,” he said sharply. “Has it ever occurred to you that I am safe and comfortable here, in this form, in this life? I’m Bilbo Baggins now. I’ve changed, Gandalf, and I don’t want to be… who I was. I’m nothing like that anymore, and have vowed to never be again.”

Gandalf’s blue eyes twinkled a little, and he nodded once. “Very well. Bilbo... I understand your feelings on the subject.” He pointed one gnarled finger at Bilbo, and added firmly, “But this will be very good for you.” With that cryptic pronouncement, Gandalf turned and unlocked one of the pantry doors, knocking his head on the low doorframe and cursing to himself as he hastily exited.

“Gandalf!” Bilbo exclaimed, his annoyance now tainted by his damn curiosity. “What do you mean? I will not be going with you on any sort of mad adventure, and I mean it! I couldn’t leave my hoard for that long as you should well know!” He ran after Gandalf, who was finding his way to the front door much too quickly.

“I expect I’ll be seeing you again soon,” Gandalf said instead of offering any kind of explanation. “Do try not to incinerate anyone while I’m away.”

“Pfft, incinerate anyone,” Bilbo scoffed. “You’re the only one in danger of that, Gandalf the Grey! Stop running away and tell me what you meant by that! Ah, you confounding-”

Bilbo tripped on the upturned edge of a rug (undoubtedly Gandalf’s fault, as so many things were) and tumbled most ungracefully to the floor. By the time the hobbit had regained his feet, the wizard was long gone, his gray-clad form hurrying down the path away from Bag End.

“Blasted, meddlesome wizards,” Bilbo muttered, not for the first time and certainly not for the last.

[If you've read this far, please let me know! I'll be wanting a beta reader probably at some point, or someone to bounce ideas off of would be lovely as well.]

[higharollakockamamie]

Dawntrail Thoughts

Just putting my thoughts together.

SPOILERS FOR THE WHOLE EXPANSION

Overall, I enjoyed it. The parts I liked less were more missed opportunities than anything outright bad. There was definitely nothing on the Werlyt scale of bad, which is what I was afraid of ever since I heard my personal enemy Werlyt Guy was working on MSQ. You can see where the less experienced writers are getting a feel for things, but I think they did a reasonably good job of it.

Things I Liked:

The environments are gorgeous. I spent plenty of time just ramming my face into plants so I could look at the leaves. Those leaves!

Meeting the different people of Tural was a lot of fun. I liked the summer vacation feeling of just exploring and learning about different cultures. I liked that there were a lot of things for us to do besides "go here kill this", like trade some wool for fancy mezcal like that one guy who traded a red paperclip until he got a house.

I loved seeing fantasy with a Central/South American inspiration. It's really fresh and the colors and designs are wonderful.

The centering of female characters. We had lots of women in major roles, and I really appreciate that. I especially love to see a female villain. I am a full supporter of women's wrongs.

Bakool Ja Ja going from a goofy enemy it was fun to give crap to (I love Wuk Lamat's delivery of, "Be quiet, Bakool Ja Ja. No one cares what you think.") to a tragic child overloaded with expectations was great.

Zoraal Ja betraying his Obviously Going to Betray Him Evil Vizier was hilarious, though it came at the price of giving us less Sareel Ja, who I enjoyed

I liked that the WoL stepped back and took a mentor role. I don't really invest in these kinds of blank characters - they're just a wall for the characters to play tennis against - so you could replace the WoL with a piece of cold pizza with "nods" pepperoni'd onto it and I wouldn't care. So I'm down with them being a supporting character.

Wuk Lamat. I love her design, I liked seeing her journey and growth throughout the story, and I liked the story being based around the development of a leader, this time based on maintaining the peace rather than overthrowing an oppressor. I also thought her voice suited her well. I understand the frustrations of people who thought she monopolized screentime. More on that in Missed Opportunities.

Sphene's part of the story was a lot of fun. I loved how openly friendly yet very suspicious she was, and I enjoyed trying to guess her secrets. Exploring her lands and figuring out the dark side of this ostensibly happy place made me and some friends think of The Giver, and that was fun to compare and contrast.

The combat and dungeons were a ton of fun. Vanguard is a personal favorite. Gotta love any dungeon you crash a train into.

Things I Didn't Mind:

The music used the main leitmotif a lot, but then again, so did Endwalker. In that case a lot of the big bangers that massively slap came in the patches, and, given how Honey B Lovely's theme has taken up residence in my head permanently, that pattern looks to hold out. Also I love the jazz in Tuliyollal.

Missed Opportunities:

I would have liked to see the Scions take more of an active mentorship role. Like, for each culture/area, have one of our buddies teach a lesson: like, Alphinaud should have definitely gotten a chance to talk about not letting yourself think you're the big omnipotent smarty boy who can solve everything yourself. This would have been a fun way to show the Scions' development as well as helping us not overdose on Wuk Lamat by having her be the focus alone.

Where's Zoraal Ja's mom? Where's Gulool Ja's mom? If it weren't for two-heads requiring two parents, I'd think these were those lizards that reproduce parthenogenically.

Zoraal Ja was a little underbaked. He's got this idea of sowing warfare to teach people that war is bad, but where did he get that notion? Why's he willing to go so far for it?

While effective, the idea of fighting someone who is trying to preserve the past at the cost of the present was a bit of an Ascians retread. It's strange that no character ever mentioned that similarity - or, with the idea of things that maintain their existence by sapping the life of other beings, the similarity to Primals.

Also, I hate to argue for more Thancred, who sucks, but "a person you loved and lost continues to exist but at the expense of currently living people" is something he should have been around to have an opinion on.

Where's the Ironworks? There's so much technology they'd have a field day with. Where's Nero? SHOW ME MY BOY

[sovereignsystem]

Hello, I've seen your post about wanting pro-endos to listen and I'm willing to listen (this might change depending on who's fronting).

We are a fairly new discovered quoigenic system (meaning we don't know and don't care about our origin) and of course are pro-endo.

I won't pretend I'm doing this out of sheer curiosity (although there's a lot of that), but the only other system we met irl and that we considered a friend flipped out when they discovered we are pro-endo and we'd like to mend that relationship.

I find it absurd that anti-endos and pro-endos cannot coexist. Separately online (curated experience etc etc) and bonding over shared struggles irl (since there are so very few of us)

Hello. Firstly, I'd like to express appreciation for speaking to us in a non-hostile manner, that is a first for us regarding endos.

Secondly; there are a lot of reasons why I think that it is impossible for anti-endos and pro-endos to coexist, at least without some very major changes. Something that seems to consistently be misunderstood by endos (and I'm mainly addressing those who say they are nontraumagenic, as pro endo traumatized systems are a different topic for me), is exactly why we do not want them in our spaces or interacting with us.

Now, I'm not going to speak for everyone, because I am not everyone, but I will say the reason why I am personally uncomfortable with endos being in our safe spaces and interacting with us, is because they continuously try to say that our experiences are the same, that they should be allowed to use the same terms, same resources, same safe spaces as us, but claim they do not have the disorder that those terms, resources, and safe spaces were made for.

I hate comparing the experience of CDDs to anything other than themselves because it's incredibly difficult to do so, but for the sake of understanding; it's like if someone went to a support group for war veterans, despite having never been in any war, but continued to call themselves one, and refused to leave because they dislike fireworks (or something of the like. Again, hard to compare).

I believe in peace above all else, and the constant fighting has put a weight on us, as I'm sure it's put a weight on everyone, and I would love nothing more than for everyone to be able to exist, separately, yet peacefully together, but the problem still stands that endos invade, take over, and appropriate things that were made for trauma survivors. And as long as that is still happening, we cannot stop fighting.

The reason why we dislike pro-endos in a similar way to endos themselves, is because from our perspective, pro-endos are people who have chosen to protect harmful individuals, people who have chosen to turn a blind eye to those who are fighting to protect the only spaces they feel safe in. I know that some of us feel betrayed when we see a traumatized system who is pro-endo, like our brethren have taken the side of those who have hurt us, those who have forcibly taken away our sanctuaries. The reason for discomfort is easy to see, to me.

As for you, I really hope you hear me on this. I hope you take to heart what I've said and try to put yourself into the shoes of someone who went through unbearable trauma, someone who just wants a safe space to discuss life experiences, healing, resources, and a place to feel a sense of community, someone who has to put all of that aside to push away and fight people who, in their eyes, wear their trauma as a costume.

It's painful. It's painful to have survived what we've survived, only for it to be made trivial by people who show little to no respect to us.

I hope you hear me.

I hope you hear us.

-🧟‍♂️ (He/him)