#this person wants everyone to know they’re not miserable and they’re so normal btw

[crippled-peeper]

do you understand what HYPERsexuality means ? it’s abnormal.

you’re telling me the bipolar transsexual with the metal spine and bone deformities — that he’s abnormal. and you are saying this like it’s some shocking revelation I should be upset by

I need you to sit with this and seriously reconsider your approach. this “you’re not normal and cool and hot like ME!!!” shit just doesn’t work here

[noahschnappinfs]

You know what???? I loooooOooooove the reality check this birthday picture gave some people (excuse my bad English, I’m French) who pretended that their fav were oh so so not wanting to be near Noah, or I remember when the cast picture with everyone was out (the black and white with everybody on it and Noah on the sofa) and some ppl were saying that a lot of them looked uncomfortable or tense or did not want to be there and I just want to laugh at them. They wanted Noah to be miserable and friendless and that is so messed up to act like this, and yeah you’re definitely right about the parasocial thing.

The crew absolutely adores Noah and they are delighted to spend time with him. Do people really think they’re obligated to? Trust me I’ve been in enough fandoms to recognise when cast mates just want to be colleagues and not spend time together. (Like… it’s really frequent actually.)

Shame on these people.

yeah it’s actually quite normal for cast members to act like co workers and i think it’s totally fine, nobody has to be forced to hang out if you don’t want to because at the end, this is just a job, they are in fact just co workers. it’s us that expect them to be besties when a set is actually a work place so as long as everybody is respectful, i don’t see a problem. in that aspect, everybody seems to respect noah and we haven’t witnessed any real problems (not rumors) so it’s all cool there.

now obviously some friendships do start at work and it’s clear everybody seems to have good friendships with noah and it’s funny how people wanted/expected him to be shunned by the cast when months later, we can see that he is one of the people who gets invited to everything, like one week he’s at gaten’s birthday with everybody and the next he’s the only one of the young cast that made the cut to millie’s wedding. all the young cast + joe also accepted his invitation to celebrate his birthday at the sweat tour and it’s funny certain people celebrate that certain cast members weren’t there when doing that is just setting yourself up for disappointment because believe me, they will hang out and we’ll get pictures someday and you’ll have to step down your high horse. btw i’m sure that all the cast would be disgusted at the way people talk about noah, that’s their friend while your just a person behind a keyboard being mad because your fantasy of noah being sad and friendless isn’t real.

you know, i always see people being like “oh [insert actor/singer here] we miss you so much, post something” and it’s funny because celebs are pulling away because of you all! it’s all your own doing! everybody is over analysing and policing their lives, bullying their friends, family and significant others. why would anybody share their lives with you if they only will receive fake outrage? nobody wants you to write think pieces about their lives.

it’s such a complex topic because on one hand, if you share too much, you create these parasocial relationships because the fans connect too deeply with you and i think this is what has happened with noah because he’s been reality open before. on the other hand, if you don’t share anything at all, you give free will to people to project themselves into you and that creates parasocial relationships as well and i think this happens to people like sadie and finn that aren’t online at all. you can see it so clearly in certain people get outrage when their favs act a certain way or befriend certain people because they don’t have any real info about them so they project their own moral onto them so it gets super personal because this person is a real person that isn’t following the script you’ve created in your head, that’s why we get the “i’m so disappointed” think pieces on twitter which are ridiculous because i can assure you that they don’t care what you think and aren’t reading your tweets.

[cinnaminsvga]

Dumbo | Jungkook (M)

→ summary: you know what they say about boys with big noses...

{or alternatively: jungkook has a big dick but he doesn’t know how to use it, but luckily you’re there to help.}

→ genre: humor/crack, smut → warnings: they talk about dicks a lot (i.e. jungkook has a big dick), DICK MEASURING CONTESTS (aka jk gets his dick appraised... just boys bein’ boys), explicit sexual content, semi-public exhibitionism, handjobs, blowjobs, sub!jungkook, whining, light dirty talk, mild pain play, mutual masturbation, jungkook has piercings, accidental edging (you’ll... understand), oc doesn’t have a gag reflex lol → words: 17.2K → a/n: @jincherie... you are my enabler and i will die on this hill only if you die on it with me. but of course i know you will die with me. because we only have one braincell and if either of us die, we both do. thank you for commissioning me to write this btw... even though i was already writing this so you just basically sent me money for free. ANYWAY... WORLD IS FUCK BUT I LOVE RHA!! ALSO JUNGKOOK HAS A BIG DICK!! EPIC!!

The club lights make it difficult for Jungkook to see anything. He doesn’t understand why club owners can’t just jack up the lighting for once; it isn’t like you’re going to be able to find a hook-up through echolocation or something. Though, judging by the way people seem to be groping their way through the masses, perhaps there really is no need for illumination anyway.

Jungkook normally hates this kind of scene. Drinking is all good and fun, especially when he’s with his hyungs, but going to overly crowded places makes his skin crawl with anxiety. It takes almost three shots during pre-game for him to get anywhere near this kind of place and it’s all thanks to Seokjin. That hyung thrives in these kinds of environments, like a clipped butterfly relearning how to fly.

“I’m gonna get shit fucked wasted!” Seokjin hollers, his arm looped carelessly around the only other person who hates being here as much as Jungkook does. He watches passively as Yoongi tries to bite a chunk off of Seokjin’s hand, but despite his inebriation, their eldest hyung is able to dodge it quickly.

“Not before I kill you, then everyone else in this place, and then myself, first.” Yoongi growls, nudging Seokjin off his smaller frame. If the world hadn’t been swaying underneath Jungkook’s feet, he might have offered to help his small hyung do the deed. If there’s anyone who hates nightclubs more than Jungkook, it’s Yoongi. Jungkook is frightened to know how Seokjin managed to convince Yoongi in the first place, and he’d prefer not to find out what sort of terrible blackmail the elder must have under his sleeve to accomplish such an arduous feat.

Just as Yoongi is about to connect his steel-toed boot up Seokjin’s freshly bleached asshole, Jimin returns from the bar with three glasses held precariously in each of his fists. Jungkook wonders yet again how this is possible due to the sheer tininess of Jimin’s hands, but then again... What can’t Jimin do when it comes to alcohol?

“I’m back! Here you go, Jungkookie,” Jimin says, seamlessly handing Jungkook a glass of what he hopes is just a regular beer like he asked. Knowing Jimin, he probably ordered the strongest shit they have. He peers at it suspiciously, but it only takes half a sip for Jungkook to confirm his guess. He grimaces, nearly coughing out a lung at the strength of the poison running down his throat.

“That tasted like fucking metal polish! What the fuck, Jimin?”

“I know! It’s great isn’t it?” Jimin smiles angelically, handing Yoongi one of the drinks. Yoongi looks at the swirling piss-yellow liquid as if it holds the secrets to the universe. It appears as if he’s decided something when his eyes light up.

“Oh my god, this drink is gonna kill me,” he says, not an ounce of fear in his voice. Jimin nods, not even trying to hide his deception.

“I promised the bartender a blowie if he could give me the strongest shit they had,” Jimin shrugs. “Dude literally went to the back room and took out this bottle that looked like it came from Napoleon’s secret stash of hooker piss.” He sniffs the drinks thoughtfully. “Yea, I could believe that.”

“I hate this!” Jungkook cries at no one in particular.

“Tough shit! We’re in this together!” Yoongi groans, downing the entire contents of his drink in one go before promptly being swallowed whole by the crowd. Seokjin hoots, hastily waving goodbye to Jungkook and Jimin before following Yoongi and diving into the sweaty masses like a seasoned Olympian.

“I hope they don’t die like last time,” Jungkook sighs, forcing himself to take a big gulp of his drink. It sears against his throat like a brand, which probably has an inscription saying “Jeon Jungkook has bad taste in friends.”

Jimin shrugs his shoulders. “Well, like Namjoon said a while ago, we’re gonna meet by the bar in 2 hours to check if everyone is still alive and we’ll find out then. Okay, Kook?”

Jimin has reminded him of this for the umpteenth time, though he can’t blame him for being extra careful. Last time the whole gang went to the club, Hoseok had gotten stuck in an elevator at his hook-up’s place and had cried for 5 hours straight before one of them thought to look for him. The time before that, Taehyung had ingested two times his bodyweight of margaritas and he had found himself in Japan the next morning with an extra $500 in his pocket.

Yeah. They’re idiots, but at least they’re idiots who will try not to make the same mistakes as last time. Key word being “try.”

Jungkook looks around the club, but he can’t find any awkward looking lanky people anywhere. “Where is Namjoon-hyung, by the way? Haven’t seen him since we split up.”

“Who the hell knows?” Jimin laughs, the sound drowning out when the DJ suddenly decides to play a death metal version of Dance the Night Away by Twice. Jimin’s eyes light up. “Ooooh shit! This is my song! See ya later, Kook!”

“W-wait, those drinks! Aren’t they for the others––“

“Bitch, you think these are for them?” Jimin begins to double fist his alcohol with the thirstiness of a man in a desert, or a twink confronted with two dicks. Either or.

To Jungkook’s horror, the crowd has seemingly grown thrice in size since they’ve arrived and he watches as Jimin’s body is slowly getting consumed by the masses, though he doesn’t seem bothered in the slightest. He leans into a random guy's back, a look of bliss on his face. He salutes lazily at Jungkook. “Anyway. See you in 2 hours, Kook! Try to have fun!”

Try to have fun, his ass.

Unlike Jimin, Jungkook doesn’t particularly feel like being crushed by sweaty hormonal bodies; instead, he chooses to head to the bar. He surreptitiously dumps his drink into the trash, feeling kind of bad for discarding a free drink, but Jungkook doesn’t want to get shit-fucked wasted like the rest of them are. Perhaps he’ll be the designated driver today, even though his vision is still kind of swimming. Well, he could probably walk in a straight line if he used all his brainpower. Which isn’t a lot, but you know. People learn to make do.

It takes him a while to find an empty stool by the bar and he is unlucky enough to be squished between two couples who don’t seem to be aware that public indecency is a crime. He has to endure being jostled for five minutes straight until the bartender finally notices him and allow him to order his can of coke.

(“Sorry, kid. The banana milk is all sold out. Some girl ordered our entire stock for her friends a few hours ago.” And just like that, Jungkook wants to die all over again.)

He does not know for how long he sits by the bar. Well, that’s a blatant lie, because he knows that he’s been sitting there for 18 minutes and 34 seconds exactly. He’s checked his phone religiously every 2 minutes to see if 2 hours have passed already, just so he can ask one of his stupid friends to go home with him. Perhaps he could coerce Jimin into turning in early for once (which is a pipedream, not when the DJ seems adamant to play Jimin’s favorite Christina Aguilera song 70 times in a row.)

So in short, Jungkook is miserable. He could go home by himself, but also he doesn’t want to end up having to walk to the police station the next morning to bail his friends out after one of them inevitably destroys public property again.

Fuck. Maybe he shouldn’t have thrown away his other drink.

He’s so deep in his thoughts that he doesn’t notice that one of the couples beside him have already left and that another person has taken their spot. He is jarred from his musings when a well-manicured hand is placed delicately on his shoulder, urging him to swivel the barstool around to face his soon-to-be acquaintance.

“Hey,” you say, a sultry smile on your lips. Jungkook feels his mouth immediately fill with cotton as he stares at your beautiful face, the dingy lighting of the club doing nothing to suppress the wicked glint in your eyes.

“Uhh… hey?” Jungkook replies, as charming and verbose as ever. If it isn’t obvious enough, Jungkook is a little lacking in the girls department, or at least, when it comes to girls-who-are-blatantly-flirting with him department. He normally isn’t this socially inept around the opposite gender, but given the connotations of this circumstance, his overactive male brain can only be restrained so much before it starts wandering towards dangerous territory.

It doesn’t help that the neckline of your dress is bordering on obscene, and Jungkook is afraid that if you move one more inch towards him, something very embarrassing might happen to the both of you (probably more so for him, if he’s being quite honest.)

“I couldn’t help but notice you from across the club and thought I should introduce myself,” you explain, gaze unashamedly trailing down his body. Jungkook can feel the heat from you radiating in waves, burning him from the inside out as he tries not to melt into a puddle in a pathetic attempt to get the fuck out of there.

“You saw me? But it’s… so dark in here…” Jungkook wants to fucking murder himself. That’s what he decides to say to you? God, no fucking wonder he’s a virgin. Good looks really aren’t everything when he doesn’t have a brain controlling the rest of his body. There might as well be a fucking hamster running laps inside of his skull for all he knew.

Thankfully (or unthankfully––God knows Jungkook’s stress levels aren’t lowering any time soon), you find his response funny enough to warrant a chuckle. You bat your eyes salaciously at him, which Jungkook didn’t even think was possible. People can be sexy? When they blink? Apparently, you can do that.

You shrug your shoulders. “That’s true. You caught me in a lie, I suppose. I actually knew you were coming even before you arrived.”

Jungkook chokes on his own spit then, nearly spraying you with his saliva like the dog that he is. His eyes bug out of his sockets, his body going tense with nerves. "You... you knew? What... What does that even mean?"

You point over your shoulder, gesturing vaguely at the crowd on the dance floor. "I'm friends with Seokjin over there. He mentioned you were coming with him to the club tonight so I decided to tag along."

"You know Seokjin-hyung?" The alarm bells in Jungkook's head start ringing wildly out of control. Nothing good ever comes out of being friends with Seokjin, especially since his presence alone has the power to make the creases in your brain to smoothen. Take it from someone who's been there, done that.

"Yep," you say, popping your 'p.' "I met him in my first-year English course, though I still don't know why a third-year like him was taking it in the first place."

"It's because he doesn't know how to read," Jungkook says plainly.

"I can tell. He uses voice-to-text exclusively and Siri can never spell Asian names correctly," you shrug your shoulders. "Either that, or he just doesn't know how to spell your name."

"Yea. I'm permanently John Jung Cock on his phone," Jungkook replies. He shakes his head. "Hold on, we were talking about something before this."

"Oh. About how I casually revealed to you that I was stalking you through our mutually insane friend?"

"Y-Yea, basically." Jungkook doesn't even understand what the fuck is happening right now. "I mean! Not exactly? Like, for all I know, you could've just asked hyung who he was coming with and he mentioned my name and––"

"Listen, kid. I straight up just told you I'm stalking you. Let's skip the foreplay and get to the meat of it: I'm literally following you," you say, without an inch of regret, embarrassment, or morality in your tone of voice.

Jungkook, who despite being filled with so much fear and tension enough to kill the small hamster inside his brain, is somehow able to keep his calm in front of the psychopath in front of him. Either that, or he's already in the middle of a stroke and he's lost all his fine motor skills.

"I... I don't know what to say."

"You don't need to say anything, baby," you murmur, leaning even closer to him until your chest was practically pressed against his. The thin layer of your dress and his well-worn cotton tee does nothing to help the situation (both in general and the one in his pants). He can feel your every curve, can smell the sweet perfume you're wearing; you were enveloping his senses. If he tried hard enough, he could probably count your eyelashes if he so desired with how close you were.

He knows he should probably be running away in terror right now, but he finds himself stuck resolutely to the barstool, unable to move. Maybe Jimin was right... Maybe he did have a fear kink or something.

("Isn't that just called masochism?" Jungkook asks, brows raised.

Jimin only laughs, patting him on the back condescendingly. "Nah, dude. You just straight up wanna die by the hands of a hot person, and I can respect that homie. We all have been there.")

“W-what do you want from me?” Jungkook asks, sweat lining his brow. You’re still looking at him like he was a meal, but he finds he probably doesn’t mind being devoured by you.

Your wicked grin returns, full force. “I just want to play, Jungkook. But why don’t we discuss this… somewhere more private?”

Thunk. Was that the sound of his heart dropping out of his ass, or his brain pressing against the left side of his skull, or his dick hitting the roof? Jungkook isn’t sure, but he does know he wants to see where this night will take him.

He lets you lead the way, squeezing through sweaty bodies and elbowing a stray hand or two. Jungkook swears he feels a guy grope him on the way out, but before he can even sock the guy in the jaw, you’re already one step ahead of him. You hiss menacingly at the dudebro, raising your long acrylic nails in a show of dominance like you’re from some wildlife documentary. The guy audibly whines, running away from the two of you with his tail between his legs.

Jungkook stares at you incredulously. “How the fuck did you––”

“I’ve gone to tango classes with that dude. I have his mom’s phone number,” you explain nonchalantly. Instantly, Jungkook feels himself hardening in his pants.

You manage to get to where the washroom stalls are. You brazenly walk past the line of girls at the women’s section, but Jungkook is even more confused when you also pass by the men’s section. You turn the corner, where a bunch of tables and chairs were being kept. Then, you begin to knock down some of the extra chairs stacked against the wall, which is where Jungkook discovers there is an unused wheelchair accessible washroom.

“Why is this washroom being kept hidden?” he wonders aloud, sneaking guilty looks over his shoulder. No one seems to have noticed that the two of you are blatantly trespassing property, but you don’t look all that stressed about it.

You look at him weirdly. “Dude. You can barely walk in this club without getting groped, poked, or doped. As much as I’m all for accessibility, I don’t think wheelchair-bound people are gonna have much of a good time here.”

Jungkook feels as though he should be saying something profound about the need for establishments to be accessible or something, but the strain in his pants really wasn’t doing many wonders on his verbosity right now. Maybe next time.

You make quick work of the barricade and you get the door open in no time. You push him hastily inside, making him yelp as he tries to find his way around the darkened room. You flip the switch on somewhere behind him, illuminating the washroom to find… a toilet. That’s it.

“Well, they certainly didn’t think about interior decorating,” Jungkook says, laughing nervously as you click the door locked. He turns, watching as you pull the black elastic that was on your wrist and begin to tie your hair. You smile cheekily at him, the implications of what is about to happen very much apparent.

“Nah, they didn’t. But the room gets the job done and that’s all we want, don’t we?” You purr, taking the two short steps you need to get close to him once more. You trail a well-manicured nail down his chest, circling around his nipple teasingly but not doing anything more. His breathing turns more shallow, and he knows for sure that his eyes must look crazed to you right now.

You bring your finger lower and lower, grazing the top of his belt buckle and staying there. You look up at him, licking your lips as your gaze trails down to his own. Once again, he feels paralyzed as you take him in and he wishes for all the horny gods from above that you would finally end the torture and finally close the distance.

Taking some pity on him, you rest your lips against his throat, suckling gently enough that Jungkook knows it won’t leave a mark. His hands instantly come up to grab your waist, as if urging you to go harder, to make it hurt.

You smirk against his skin, deciding at that moment to bite down, hard. Jungkook yelps, before the sound morphs into an unabashed moan. His cheeks pinken, embarrassed at the volume of his voice.

“I-I…”

“Don’t worry, Jungkook…” you whisper, soothing the bite with your tongue. You pop off his skin, your lips slightly redder than before. “I’ll take good care of you, darling.”

See, Jungkook doesn’t doubt you in the slightest. As for his own skills at taking care of you when the time comes… now that’s a little bit of a gamble.

Jungkook isn’t a virgin, per se… He lost his virginity during his last year of high school to some girl he met at a party, and suffice to say, he didn’t last long. He’s had a few girlfriends in the past, but none of them ever wanted to get with him once they saw his dick. You see, he had a bit of a problem…

He wasn’t small, by the way. Don’t get him wrong. In fact, he was kinda––

Jungkook is pulled away from his thoughts when you suddenly drop down to your knees, your hands grabbing onto his thighs for support. He’s almost worried that you’d injured yourself from how fast you’d dropped, but you don’t seem all that bothered by how deftly your fingers moved to unbuckle his belt.

When you get it loosened, your hands stop by the button of his jeans and you look up at him with expectation. Jungkook almost whines when your hands drift back to your lap.

You snort, amused. “What? You think I’m gonna do all the work here, buddy? Come on, strip for me.” you say, sitting on your haunches as you wait for him to move.

The strain in his pants was getting downright painful at this point, so Jungkook is more than eager to follow your orders. Still, his hands are shaking the entire time, so it takes him a few extra seconds before he can finally unbutton his stupid jeans and pull down his stupid zipper. Even through his loose boxers, the outline of his dick is very apparent, with a small wet spot already staining the front of his boxers a darker blue.

“Uh, I have to say a disclaimer first though,” Jungkook squeaks, suddenly shy under the intense gaze you were pointing straight at his dick. It twitches slightly, and your eyes follow it like a cat ready to pounce. “I’m… kinda on the bigger side, so I just want to ask if you’re sure––”

“Baby, I was sure even before I came to this club,” you say, trance-like. Your fists clench and unclench by your sides. “Now, shut up before I change my mind.”

“But––” Jungkook doesn’t get to finish his sentence, stunned to silence when you quite literally rip his boxers off of him like a magician trying to prove something. His dick springs up half-way, still not fully hard as it’s always taken him a little bit more goading before he can get to full mast. Yea, he was that big.

You stare at it for a moment, going cross-eyed as you stared at his tip head-on like some sort of perverse gun barrel. You don’t move for so long that Jungkook is afraid that he might have freaked you out with the size of his cock, though you wouldn’t be the first in a long shot. He’s about to apologize, prepared to pull up his pants in shame and walk home with half a log in his crotch. He’s already shifting his jeans back up when you place a hand on his wrist, stopping him in his tracks.

“Wait. Are you, like, only half-hard right now?” you ask, voice quiet.

Jungkook flushes. “Y-yeah… It gets a little bit bigger when I’m fully… You know…” he says, trailing off.

You’re still looking at his dick, but after further assessment, Jungkook realizes that you don’t look horrified in the slightest. In fact, you look pleased. “Jesus fuck you’re huge! Like… almost abnormally so.”

Jungkook literally feels like he’s going to die (and he hates that it’s kinda making him even hornier). “I guess so?”

“That’s a fucking log! You could stand on that thing!”

“I don’t think that’s possible, but––”

“Seokjin had told me you were huge, but I didn’t believe him because, well, the way he described it was that you had a literal third leg hiding under there. Who would have thought that Seokjin isn’t full of shit after all,” you say, awestruck.

“I’m really not that big––wait, Seokjin has talked to you about my dick? What the fuck? Since WHEN?” Seokjin was just out there in the world? Telling strangers about his dick? That hyung is seriously getting smashed WWE style the next time he sees him, and it’s NOT going to be sexy.

You wave him off. “Oh, don’t worry. He doesn’t just tell anyone. He let it slip because he was defending your honor,” you shrug.

In the midst of Jungkook’s mental breakdown at the realization that one of his closest friends just told a random girl that he’s got a meter long King Kong dong, he doesn’t notice that you’ve already stood up from where you were kneeling. You pull down the toilet seat cover, seating yourself on it and rubbing your reddened knees with a pout. “Ouch. Damn, I’m not used to kneeling for men anymore. Sorry, where was I? Oh right!”

You snap your fingers together, smiling gleefully at Jungkook. “So! I dragged you in here to give you my proposition, you see. I have a deal to make with you.”

Jungkook looks down at his cock, which was still red and dripping pre-cum, before turning back to you. “And this has something to do with… my dick?”

“Precisely!” you cheer, glad that he seems to be on the same page as you when he was in fact, not. “Sorry about tricking you, by the way. I’ll suck your dick after this if you’re still game, but only if you agree with my plan.”

“Your plan?”

“Yep,” you say, popping your ‘p’ once more. “You see, I have an ex-boyfriend. His name is Lee Taeyong, ever heard of him?”

Jungkook vaguely knows the upperclassman, though he can’t say he’s ever spoken to him. “Kinda. What does he have to do with me?”

“Well, if you really heard of him, then you’d already be one step ahead. Seeing as how it’s not already connecting for you––” you point to his dick, poking the sensitive head with the grace of a 5-year old at a petting zoo, “––then you don’t know that Lee Taeyong has the biggest dick on campus. Allegedly.”

“Allegedly,” Jungkook repeats. He still doesn’t follow.

“Well, I wouldn’t know either because I’ve never seen his dick, so––”

“Wait wait wait. Wait.” Jungkook’s hamster brain is running a mile a minute. There have been way too many absurdities spoken in the last five minutes and he doesn’t think he’s drunk enough to deal with your insanity right now. “Let’s dissect this one at a time, shall we? First of all, how can you not know how big your boyfriend’s dick is?”

“My ex-boyfriend. And we only dated for like three days, and I don’t fuck until a week has passed, okay? I don’t play like that,” you say as if you didn’t just lure Jungkook to this dingy washroom only to give him blue balls and trauma.

“Okay, whatever. So what if he has a big dick? What does that have to do with me?”

You roll your eyes. “How can you not understand yet? I’m on the hunt for our university’s biggest dick, of course! And you, Jungkook, might just be my ticket to the number one prize.”

There is a long pause. Jungkook stares and stares at you, waiting for you to shout “Surprise! You’re being pranked, bro!” and for all the cameramen to come out and shower him in confetti and dollar bills or something. But no, nothing like that happened. He just continues to stand there with his dick out, while you sit on a dingy toilet seat with your legs crossed comfortably as if you were just two friends having a regular conversation.

After a while, Jungkook comes to a conclusion. “You’re being serious.”

You snort, annoyed as if you were the one being inconvenienced. “Of course I am, dude. I don’t stalk just about anybody to see their dick. I’m not that insane.”

Jungkook feels as though your judgment on sanity should probably be taken with a grain of salt. “S-sure. Right. You’re definitely not insane.”

“And you have a big dick! I’m glad you can see where I’m coming from,” you say, nodding sagely. You peer at his dick once more, brows furrowed as you think deeply to yourself. “Hmm… Yea, I’d say you’d be at least equally as big as him. If all else fails, I can split the winnings and get half the amount of money if you––”

“No,” Jungkook says.

You raise your brow. “Yes?” you try.

“Yes–I mean, what? No!” Jungkook repeats, shaking his head furiously. "Are you even hearing yourself? You expect me to get into a dick measuring contest with your ex just so you can, what? Get revenge on him or something?"

"Not for revenge." You lean closer to him, face inches away from his dick but you don't seem perturbed in the slightest. "It's for money," you whisper, grinning slyly.

"Money," Jungkook repeats.

You clap your hands excitedly. "Exactly! So Taeyong and I didn't actually break up on bad terms. We only got together to make Doyoung, his crush, jealous enough to confess his feelings. But now, that dumb bitch thinks that now that he's with Taeyong, he can make fun of me for not being able to handle Taeyong's dark horse cock––"

"Can you please stop talking like an insane person," Jungkook pleads. His comment remains unheard.

"––so we made a bet that Taeyong doesn't actually have the biggest dick on campus and that I'm dating a guy with an even bigger meat thermometer than he does," you finish, snapping your fingers with a flourish. There's a twinkle in your eye: it's misplaced excitement coupled with extreme insanity, Jungkook realizes.

"That's good and all, but there's just one problem."

"What?" You tilt your head, confused.

"We're not exactly dating, are we?"

"Details, details... What Doyoung and Taeyong don't know won't hurt them," you say, shrugging your shoulders.

Jungkook rolls his eyes. "Of course," he says, leaning against the grimy bathroom wall. He goes to tuck Jungkook Jr. back into his pants, his dick finally softening after the last ten minutes of psychological torture courtesy of yours truly, but you're quick to slap his hand away, making him yelp in surprise.

"No! I like looking at it," you say. You stare at his dick with rapt fascination. "It's kinda like looking at a weird, deformed baby leg. Beautiful, but haunting all at once."

Jungkook huffs, staring at you in equal parts disbelief and awe. If he thought Seokjin was mentally unhinged, then you're definitely on your way towards uncharted psychotic territory. It was kind of amazing how you could just say shit without any brain to mouth filter, in your own twisted way. "Listen, lady. I don't even fucking know what your name is, but I am not helping you win some stupid bet and showing my dick to even more strangers than I have to, okay?"

You consider him, lips pursing slightly. "Why, do you have any other plans this weekend?"

Jungkook falters. "I... No, I don't––"

You shrug your shoulders, as if that's the end of that problem. "Then it's settled! I don't see why you can't just do this out of the goodness of your heart?"

"For the last time, I won't do it even if––"

"I'll split the prize with you? 50/50? That's $1000 for having a huge dick! Every incel's wet dream!"

Jungkook pauses in his rant, choking on his spit. His jaw drops comically, unsure if he heard you right. "Did you say one... grand?"

Hook, line, and sinker. You know you caught him the moment his eyes bugged out of their sockets. You smirk, crossing your arms triumphantly as you gaze upon his desperate and broke college ass (and dick). “So? Having second thoughts?"

Jungkook is quiet for a moment. He opens his mouth, then closes it. He tries to wrap his head around the number, unsure if he should be worried about how ready he is to drop his pants for money. Have I completely lost it? Am I that much of an idiot? he wonders, but then again… He’d be an even bigger idiot for letting free money go down the drain.

“Where is this money even coming from?” he asks, even though he knows his guard is already dropping quickly.

You wave your hand flippantly. “Oh, Doyoung is filthy rich. I imagine that $2000 is nothing to him,” you say, picking at a hangnail. “It’s not much money to me either, but my pride is mostly at stake here. If you want, you could take all the money as a prize, so long as you make that bitch eat his heart out.”

Jungkook feels his dick twitch and he knows that you notice. “Two… thousand…” He accidentally moans, gripping his thighs to prevent himself from nutting. “That’s…”

You tilt your head, arching a brow. “Not enough? I could put in an extra $500 if you’re really against this whole thing. To be fair, I wouldn’t wanna expose my coochie to a random person either––”

“Two thousand five hundred? Are you fucking insane?” Jungkook exclaims, voice cracking at the end. He clears his throat, but it still feels like his lungs are on fire.

“Okay, three grand it is but I’m not going any higher than that,” you huff, shaking your head. “Mr. Jeon, you really do drive a hard bargain, though I always notice that well-endowed men tend to think they deserve the universe, so I’m not surprised.” You chuckle to yourself, as if anything about this situation is worth laughing at. Jungkook feels like that one time he had inhaled an entire helium balloon in one breath when he was younger: kinda nauseous but also kinda euphoric. Is it bad that his dick is stirring awake right now? Hello?

You put your hand out, looking at him expectantly. “Well? Do we have a deal or not?”

Jungkook takes a deep breath and accesses his options carefully. Does he:

Give up his low self-esteem for money and enter an actual dick-measuring contest with some stranger;

There is no other option. Jungkook wants money.

He exhales, a migraine already throbbing incessantly in the back of his skull. He thrusts his hand forward, gripping yours harshly in a firm handshake. “I’m in,” he says, without missing a beat. Your smile brings a shiver down his back, and he can’t help but wonder if this is what Judas felt like when he betrayed Jesus, except he’s betraying no one but his own self-worth.

Well, he always did wonder how much his life was worth and three grand doesn’t seem like that big of a stretch. Oh well.

“Nice,” you chuckle, seemingly vibrating from excitement. You slip behind him, grabbing his phone from the back pocket of his jeans (which were still, by the way, pooled around his thighs because his dick was still out. Just to remind you guys in case you forgot. OP doesn’t want you to ever forget about it.) You flick open his phone, cackling maniacally when you realize he doesn’t even have a password on.

Jungkook squawks. “Hey, what are you––”

“I’m saving my number on your phone,” you explain. He can barely see what you were typing into his phone contacts, but he doesn’t miss the way you attach a heart emoji beside your name. You open his texts, sending yourself an octopus emoji that just so happened to be Jungkook’s most frequently used emoji. You snort. “Octopus emoji, huh? Seems appropriate… Can’t help but think it was a sign that this might have been destiny.”

“I just like takoyaki…” Jungkook defends himself sulkily.

“Yea? Well I like cock,” you say. You pause, furrowing your brows. “Oh, I meant to say chicken. Same thing.”

You hand back his phone, grabbing your small purse that you had thrown aside onto the washroom floor. You straighten your dress, looking to all the world as if you hadn’t just offered a stranger three grand to show his dick. “Well, it was nice meeting you, Jungkook. I expect to see you soon, maybe this weekend if you’re free. I’ll text you the details of when we’ll meet next. Toodles!” you wave, sending him a flying kiss for extra measure. Jungkook’s eye twitches, and he wonders not for the first time tonight if he was trapped in a coma and was slowly passing away.

Just as you are about to head out the door, you stop in your tracks, turning back to face him. You give him a curious expression, gaze dragging downwards until you were staring down the barrel of his dick once more. “Hey, sorry about leaving you hanging like that, by the way. I would love to help you finish, but I have a ride to catch. Raincheck?”

Not waiting for an answer, you saunter away with a spring in your step. The door swings back closed, leaving Jungkook alone for the first time in what feels like forever: just him, his dick, and the promise of three thousand dollars on the horizon.

“I’m so fucking stupid,” Jungkook groans, sliding down to the floor. He fists his cock in his hand, groaning loudly when he feels the pleasure jolt up his spine like electricity. As he listens to the sounds of his heavy breathing and the slick mess in his hands, he can’t help but wonder if Jimin was right… Maybe he did have a thing for insane hot girls who were out to kill him.

x x x x x

After Jungkook cleans himself up, he marches out of the washroom with as much dignity as he can muster. Which is to say that he walked out of there with his head bowed in shame, meekly navigating the crowded club in search of his friends.

It isn’t hard, considering that Jimin was currently hanging on the fucking ceiling from a disco ball. A group of men stand at the bottom, all of them eagerly eyeing his fat ass as Jimin dangerously humped the shiny ball of metal like his life depended on it.

“Okaaaay guys! The moment this disco ball drops, whoever catches me first gets to fuck me tonight so try your best to grab me~!” Jimin singsongs from his perch, howling madly as all the horny motherfuckers scramble all over each other, desperate to catch him lest he meets his maker.

“I. Hate. My. Life.” Jungkook sighs, striding past the group of men easily with his superior upper body strength. “Move, incels. This twink isn’t letting any of you simps touch his ass. He just likes the attention.”

“Aww, Jungkookie! Don’t ruin my fun~! Unless you wanna catch me and we can finally fu––” Jimin screams mid-sentence, just as the cord holding him and the disco ball snaps. All the guys step over themselves to catch him, but Jungkook is stronger and faster. He catches Jimin mid-air, snatching him in an instant and hoisting him over his shoulder. Everyone cheers and hollers, clapping for him as Jimin continues to giggle hysterically into his back.

“Yay! Jungkookie is gonna fuck meeeee,” Jimin pats him on the ass, but Jungkook ignores him. He goes around the club, searching for the rest of his friends until he has five dangling bodies hanging off his body like some six-headed freak.

Well, it’s soon going to be five-headed after he beheads Seokjin, whom Jungkook is certain just vomited all over the back of his jeans.

“I can’t fucking find Yoongi-hyung.” Jungkook grits his teeth, his nose assaulted by the stench of Namjoon’s armpit as the elder contorts himself into a more comfortable position. “Stop fucking moving, you long-legged bastard. Why’d you have to be born with such good body proportions?”

“And why are you so hot, Jungkook?” Taehyung swoons from somewhere underneath Hoseok, who seems to be either passed out or dead; Jungkook didn’t pause to check for a pulse.

“Pretty sure Yoongi went home,” Seokjin slurs, a second wave of nausea hitting him as he struggles to keep the alcohol inside of him a bit longer. “Ugh… Said he saw his roommate and they went home together.”

“God, it better be his fucking roommate and not another person trying to sell his organs again.” Jungkook sighs. “Either way, we’re all going home. We’ve done enough damage for tonight.”

“Jungkookie, did you have any fun at all tonight? Didn’t see you around,” Namjoon quips, managing to wriggle out of Jungkook’s grip and fall face flat on the curb. He whines pathetically, not making a move to stand up again. “Ugh. I didn’t even drink a lot tonight so why...?”

“It’s because you’re Namjoon,” Jungkook supplies helpfully. He lets the rest of his friends down, making sure they are leaning against the wall for support (or sitting against the wall in Hoseok’s case). “Alright, I’m calling cabs. Seokjin-hyung, I’m staying over at your place tonight.”

Jimin, who was already slowly falling asleep where he stands, perks up in attention at that. “Wait, you’re coming home with me and Seokjin? Are we reaaaally gonna fuck?” Jimin tries to wiggle his eyebrows suggestively, but to Jungkook, it just looks like he’s having a stroke.

“I’m done nutting for tonight. We are sleeping once we get home and that’s it,” Jungkook snorts, crossing his arms.

“OOOOOOOH? JUNGKOOK GOT FUCKED AT THE CLUB!”

“GET IT BOY!”

“OH SHIT HE FINALLY USED HIS PURPLE-HEADED YOGURT FINGER!”

“DAMN DUDE? DAMN? DAMN?”

“AW, YOU FUCKED SOMEONE WITHOUT ME?”

Jungkook swears he had heard Hoseok speak amidst the yelling from his friends, but his hyung still remains mysteriously hunched over and dead to the world. “None of your businesses. Anyway, a cab is coming soon and I swear to God, if any of you piss or vomit in that poor man’s vehicle, I will make sure none of you live to see the light of day, okay?”

Jimin turns to Taehyung, who just happened to be beside him. “Not gonna lie, but I kinda jizzed in my pants just now. That was kinda hot.” Taehyung only nods in agreement.

An hour and thirty minutes later, Jungkook manages to get the last of his idiot friends home, leaving only him, Seokjin, and Jimin as they tiredly trudge up the steps to the apartment. It takes an additional twenty minutes for Seokjin to figure out where he’d left his keys, only for Jimin to raise his finger for them to wait as he hid behind some bushes while unbuckling his jeans. When he comes out of the bushes, pantless, he has a key raised with a victorious smirk on his face.

“Don’t ask where I keep this,” is all he says and Jungkook is glad that he had rejected Seokjin’s offer to permanently move in as their roommate.

They all stumble into the apartment, with Seokjin falling immediately onto the couch. He curls up into a little ball, snoring the moment his eyes shut. Jungkook wants to shake him awake, eager to interrogate him about what happened between you and him just a few hours ago at the club. Even if he wanted to wake him up, Jungkook is sure nothing can rouse the elder; this fact is confirmed when Jungkook dumps water on him, only for Seokjin to keep sleeping soundly like a baby.

“Well, hyung is dead. Guess it’s time for me to die too,” Jimin says sleepily, the horniness and insanity from the club already wearing off. He pats Jungkook gently on the head, pointing towards Seokjin’s room. “Sleep there. I’ll hand you an extra blanket because I wouldn’t trust that hyung’s sheets. Let’s sleep, yeah?”

Left with no other choice, Jungkook heads to Seokjin’s bedroom, jumping onto the unmade sheets and pretending not to notice the crusty unknown substance on the corner of the bed. He can’t fall asleep, not when he’s left haunted by the weight on his chest (and dick). Jungkook fiddles with his phone, staring wide-eyed at the name displayed tauntingly on his screen.

Y/N L/N.

He was gonna have a nightmare tonight, that’s for sure.

x x x x x

Jungkook wakes up early, much to his chagrin. He’d really like to stay dead to the world for much longer, but the smell of coffee brewing and bacon cooking is kind of a hard deal to pass up. Jungkook shifts in bed, cringing when he realizes he went to sleep in his jeans, and more importantly, that his pants felt a lot stickier than he remembered.

He lifts the blanket up, confirming his suspicions. “Fuck!”

Well, guess he didn’t have much of a nightmare last night after all.

He shucks off his clothes, disgusted by the mess he finds in his underwear. He hobbles over to Seokjin’s closet, cringing when he finds only one (1) clean pair of shorts left, which just so happened to have “PEE IS STORED IN THE BALLS” stamped on the back in cursive font. Beggars can’t be choosers, he supposes.

Jungkook tiptoes out of the bedroom, confronted with the sight of Jimin pouring three mugs of coffee and Seokjin still slumped over the couch, a substantial amount of drool dripping down from the side of his mouth and forming a puddle on the floor. Jungkook takes a photo, saving it for later.

“Morning,” Jimin smiles from the kitchen, offering Jungkook one of the cups. Jungkook is certain that Jimin has no recollection of the events from last night, though such is Park Jimin’s way of life. He drinks to get fucked up, then he forgets, and then the cycle repeats itself anew. Jungkook wonders how Jimin always manages to wake up without a hangover, though God might have just given him a super liver in compensation for his lack of height.

“Hyung is still dead,” Jungkook states plainly, walking over to Seokjin and peering at him closely. Jungkook sticks a finger into his agape mouth, collects some of his spit, and then proceeds to give him the wettest willy of his life. Still no response.

“Let me try,” Jimin says, sauntering over to Seokjin with one of the cups of coffee. Jimin leans down, hums gently into his ear. “Hyung, wake up. We have coffee for you!”

Seokjin mumbles incomprehensibly in his sleep, snuggling deeper into the couch stuffing. Jimin tilts his head, still smiling. Then, he dumps the scalding cup of coffee all over Seokjin’s crotch.

In an instant, Seokjin screams with the pitch of a banshee, swinging his arms wildly about and nearly knocking himself out with his own fist. Jungkook and Jimin watch passively from the sidelines, waiting for the elder to finish fanning his nutsack before greeting him a pleasant morning.

“WHY ARE YOU BOTH LITERAL DEMONS?” Seokjin hollers, jumping to his feet with his scorched balls and all. Taking pity on him, Jungkook walks over to the fridge, tossing his hyung a bag of ice. And by toss, it’s more like he pitches the bag straight into his dick with the ease and speed of a seasoned baseball player, eliciting another round of pained howls.

“YOU––ASS––” Seokjin seethes, clutching the bag of ice to his nether regions. He sits down on the adjacent loveseat, expression contorting as he cups his balls gingerly. “God, it’s almost like you guys don’t think I deserve basic human decency.”

“That was just a small part of my revenge for you, after you gave my contact details to an insane woman,” Jungkook sneers, miming a punch onto Seokjin’s handsome face. Seokjin doesn’t even flinch, too busy staring at Jungkook’s legs.

“Hey, are you wearing my thot shorts?”

Jungkook looks down at the neon pink monstrosity around his hips. “You call these your thot shorts?”

Seokjin shrugs. “I got dicked down in them once. You should try.”

“Oh, did I hear something about revenge? I smell tea in here,” Jimin says, coming back from the kitchen with his own cup. “Well, I have coffee but same shit. What happened?”

“This––” Jungkook points an accusatory finger at Seokjin, “––asshole sent my location information to an insane stalker lady last night after he told her that I had a huge dick!”

Seokjin squints at him, confused. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about Y/N! She said you told her about how big my dick was and when she asked you where I was, you told her I was going to the club with you last night!”

“Oh.” Realization dawns on Seokjin’s face, which was quickly replaced by incredulity as he stares at Jungkook. “I assumed she asked for your contact details because she had a crush on you. I was just trying to get you some pussy, bro.”

“Yeah, Kook. Not gonna lie, but I’d be dicking down girls left and right if I had a dick as big as yours,” Jimin says, eyeing the bulge in his teeny tiny shorts with interest. “In fact, I’d probably be a top if I had a dick as big as yours.”

Seokjin laughs, nearly shooting out phlegm from the strength of it. “Oh god, don’t tell me. You couldn’t get your dick hard again? Don’t worry bro, if I had a dick as big as yours, it’d take ages for it to fill up too.”

Jungkook flushes, stomping his foot in embarrassment. “That! Wasn’t the problem! The problem is––”

“––that Jungkook nuts too quickly because he doesn’t have any practice,” Jimin tuts sadly, patting the younger with a pitiful expression. “Don’t worry, Kook. Hyung is open to giving you some pointers.”

“That’s not it either!” Jungkook screams, groaning in annoyance. “She came up to me because she offered to pay me $3000 to enter a dick-measuring contest!”

Jimin and Seokjin tilt their heads in tandem, still not getting it. “So?” they both chorus, giving him a blank-eyed stare.

“Are you guys out of your mind? I got bribed into showing my dick to some strangers like some kind of weird prostitute!”

“It’s not prostitution if you’re not engaging in sexual activity,” Jimin muses, taking a long sip from his coffee. He shrugs his shoulders. “Honestly, I don’t see how this is a problem. You show some girls your dick, and you get money. Dudes would kill to be in your position.”

“Oh my God, don’t tell me,” Seokjin leers at Jungkook, and the younger almost can’t stop himself from landing another blow against the elder’s abused crotch. “You got roped into some bukkake orgy and now you’re asking your hyungs to help you? Don’t worry, Jungoo… You came to the right people. You see, Jimin and I have some experience with––”

“LALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” Jungkook jams his fingers into his own ears, screaming hysterically to drown out the sounds of Seokjin and Jimin’s combined laughter. Jungkook pouts at them, glowering pathetically. “Seriously, hyungs! Do you not see how fucked up this is? Who follows a stranger to a club, pretends they’re going to give you a blowjob, only to offer 3K for you to show some strangers your dick?”

“A regular Friday night if you ask me,” Jimin says, shrugging once more. Jungkook stares at him, realizing that maybe it was the wrong idea being friends with these two lunatics in the first place. Knowing Jimin, he’d probably been in much more lewd and compromising situations than Jungkook will ever have. Rumor has it that Jimin had once done a keg stand while having his dick sucked while on vacation in Japan.  

“Well, if you were really against it, then you could have just said no?” Seokjin points out, wagging a finger at him. “I know Y/N, and yeah she’s kind of demented, but she still knows that no means no. Surely, you haven’t considered the fact that you are 1) a pushover and 2) horny for her?”

“Well, yea––No, what––No!” Jungkook splutters, stammering wildly. His two hyungs grin salaciously, gazing at him knowingly. Jungkook can only groan, as he knows that they kind of have a point. He’s always been too weak for girls and money, so when you put those two things together…

“I might be addicted to the BBC tag on Pornhub, but you my friend… You’re in it for the BBCC,” Jimin snickers, patting Jungkook comfortingly on the back. Jungkook groans into his hands, slumping onto the loveseat beside Seokjin, whose icepack had long since melted and caused the seat to be uncomfortably damp.

“BBCC? I’m almost too afraid to ask.”

“Big black credit card,” Seokjin pipes up, wrapping his own arm around Jungkook’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, bud. We all have been there.”

That’s the problem: somehow, Jungkook finds himself much too ready to accept his fate, eagerly awaiting when you’ll text him next.

x x x x x

After a much-needed shower at Jimin and Seokjin’s place, Jungkook tiredly makes his way to the nearby bus stop, ready to go home and sleep the entire weekend away. Screw his Biochemistry midterm on Monday––if he really is going to whore himself out to you, then he’s going to need all the self-care and therapy that he can get. His phone itches in the pocket of his shorts (yes, he’s still wearing the thot shorts), and he wonders if he should text his therapist and ask for an extra appointment later in the day.

Just as he’s about to pull out his phone, he senses it vibrate once, twice. He freezes in his steps, walking out of the way of busy pedestrians on the sidewalk and into a random clothing store. He sees the lone cashier staring at him from the corner of his eye, but he does not check if her gaze is filled with disgust or disgust. Probably disgust, he surmises.

Flicking his phone on, he sees two new messages from you and his heart immediately starts to hammer in his chest. No one has ever made Jungkook equal parts scared and excited, though he imagines you might have that effect on most people, what with how you look like the type to tie up unsuspecting victims to harvest their organs in your summer cottage up in the mountains or something. Or maybe that’s just Jungkook projecting.

from: y/n l/n ❣️ hey! sorry for taking so long to text you. my roommate tried to make cheesecake at 3am last night and i had to supervise in case he burned down the apartment.

from: y/n l/n ❣️ anyway, i was wondering if you were free later? some time after 5 maybe? let me know!

You already want to meet so soon. Jungkook exhales heavily through his nostrils, pinching the bridge of his nose in an attempt to calm himself. Alright, this is fine. Jungkook is a big boy: he can handle going to a girl’s home without losing his mind. You didn’t say anything about this being the actual dick-measuring contest yet, so he can only assume this is just you asking for something else. Maybe to talk more? Maybe he’ll get a down payment for the prize money? Maybe you’ll follow through on your raincheck? God, is it wrong for him to have his dick plumping up in his shorts when you haven’t even done anything to him yet?

(On the contrary, you could say that you have done a lot for him over the past twenty four hours, though maybe not in the way most people would expect.)

from: jjk yeah i can meet you at 5. what’s this for?

from: y/n l/n ❣️ oh, nothing! i just wanted to talk to you about the actual competition and stuff. plus, i want to actually measure your dick, just so i can see how much you’re actually packing down there ;)

from: jjk ….yeah, fine. whatever.

(This really isn’t a “whatever” type of situation, but honestly, Jungkook doesn’t really know what to say anymore. He’s officially lost his singular brain wrinkle. He’s smooth brain McGee over here.)

You follow up by sharing your location with him, and he’s surprised to find that you aren’t that far away from where Jungkook was right now. He really did mean to go back to his apartment first and get changed into something more… morally acceptable, but since he hasn’t been arrested yet for public decency, he should be okay with going to your place in Seokjin’s thot shorts.

There’s something invigorating about going to your place, dressed the way he is… Maybe the shorts are somehow giving him brain hemorrhage by indirect association with Seokjin. Either that or Jungkook simply loves torturing himself by embarrassing himself constantly. Well, at least he showered and combed his hair before leaving his hyungs’ place.

He inputs your address into his phone map, taking his sweet time as he walks the short distance to your apartment. As he passes by the buildings and street corners, he can’t help but think that he might have been around this area before. He tries to rack his brain, forcing himself to remember why this route seems so familiar.

“Oh right. Yoongi-hyung’s new apartment should be around here,” he muses to himself. He wonders if his hyung had gotten home safely last night. He should probably text him to make sure, but he’s got a literal dick appointment to attend to first, so he’ll remember to check up on Yoongi once he finishes up with you.

Does that make him a shitty friend? Probably. But would Yoongi do the same if Jungkook was in his shoes? Probably.

Yeah, Jungkook and his group of friends aren’t exactly role models for a sensitive and loving relationship, though that’s not much of a surprise to anyone.

He arrives at a decent looking apartment complex, complete with its own little water fountain at the entrance. He walks through the automatic sliding doors, peers at the shiny caution tape barring him from using the elevator. He stares at your address on his phone, groaning loudly when he sees “1603” much to his annoyance.

“No wonder she had such great thighs,” Jungkook mutters angrily to himself, preparing himself for the long and arduous journey his glutes are going to endure.

Years later, Jungkook finds himself at your door, his lungs jumping out of his throat as he struggles to catch his breath. He hunches over, elbows digging into his thighs as he wipes the sweat trailing down his neck. He can see your door just near the end of the hall, but just as he’s about to crawl his way over––

“Oh. Oh my,” a familiar voice says from behind him, and Jungkook looks over his shoulder to see…

“Yoongi-hyung?” Jungkook exclaims incredulously, mouth gaping at the sight of his thought-to-be-dead hyung coming out of the elevator. He splutters for a few more moments before pointing an accusing finger at Yoongi. “You used the elevator?”

Yoongi raises an eyebrow, turning to look at the elevator with a thoughtful look. “Oh right. The elevator works. The maintenance people just forgot to remove the safety tape from last week.” Yoongi looks back at Jungkook, gaze lowering to his legs. “I see that Seokjin has provided you with his thot shorts.”

Jungkook doesn’t even try to cover himself, used to his friends seeing him in varying degrees of undress. Like, what was Yoongi going to do? Take a photo of him and post it to his Twitter for his thousands of followers to see? He wasn’t that cruel...

Snap! Yoongi pockets his phone quickly, clearing his throat. “So,” Yoongi walks up closer to him, peering at Jungkook curiously. “What brings you to my apartment? Not that I’m happy to see you, but I assumed you and the rest of our idiotic gang would have died of alcohol poisoning the night before.”

“...It’s a long story,” Jungkook says, rubbing the back of his neck. “Say... Where did you go last night, by the way? I tried to look for you, but Seokjin said your roommate brought you home?”

“Yeah. She went to the club with a bunch of her friends. She offered me a ride with her because she knew how much I hated it there,” Yoongi says, frowning. “Fuck you, by the way.”

“What the fuck? What the hell did I do?”

“I don’t know. You’re wearing Seokjin’s shorts and my ape brain told me to retaliate out of instinct,” he explains. He takes another long, good glance at his shorts. “Color me surprised that they fit you, by the way. I’d assume your huge ass would be making it rip the seams, or perhaps your dick would be saying hello.”

Jungkook pats his junk proudly. “I know, right? Big guy decided to cooperate, for some reason.”

“Will you guys stop yapping it up out in the hall? I’m pretty sure Mrs. Sy can hear you two idiots from the first floor,” a voice from behind Jungkook hisses, causing the two boys to jump up in surprise. Lo and behold, your head is peeking out from behind your door, a perfectly stenciled eyebrow arched in annoyance. “Well? Are you two coming in or what?” You return back to your apartment, assuming that they’d soon follow.

Yoongi looks at Jungkook. “Wait. You know Y/N?”

Jungkook looks at Yoongi. “Wait. You know Y/N?”

Yoongi squints his eyes. “She’s my roommate. She’s a mutual friend of––”

“––Seokjin,” Jungkook finishes. The two of them pause, a metaphorical light bulb glowing above their heads.

“Ah.”

“Ah.”

“I see. The demoness has roped you into some hare-brained scheme, hasn’t she?” Yoongi nods sagely, rubbing his beardless chin. “Can’t say I feel sorry for you since I have to live with the wench.”

Jungkook grimaces. “Man. She’s insane around you too?”

Yoongi shrugs, walking over to your shared apartment. “I’m dating Seokjin, remember? Everyday, I suffer. Everyday, I feel my arm.”

When Jungkook steps into your apartment, he can’t help but be a little surprised. Of course, he shouldn’t have expected to see a medieval torture chamber in the middle of a metropolitan city, but he wouldn’t put it past you to somehow make it happen. Instead, he finds a fairly cozy-looking home, with comfy couches and filled bookshelves, complete with a small balcony that had a few fresh herbs growing in little pots. It looks…

“Yoongi-hyung. You definitely decorated, didn’t you?” Jungkook snorts, fingering the little kitty-patterned throw blanket draped on your couch. It’s soft and expensive, and definitely something only Yoongi would buy. The elder doesn’t even bother looking embarrassed; he just throws Jungkook the middle finger as he walks towards the kitchen.

You come out once more from one of the connecting rooms at the other end of the apartment, presumably your bedroom. You motion for Jungkook to come in. “Yoongi, you’re gonna bake all day, right? Mind if you let Jungkook and I speak alone in my room?”

Yoongi waves his hand disinterestedly. “Whatever. If you guys are gonna be freaky in there, I’m gonna start playing clown music to drown you guys out, alright? And I mean the remix versions with the extra clown honks.”

You roll your eyes. “Yea, yea. We get it. Grandpa needs his special time alone too.”

Jungkook’s heart jumps when you don’t even bother correcting him. Does that mean you guys really were going to do something freaky? Hopefully, Yoongi has learned to differentiate screams of terror from screams of pleasure, though it’s hard to tell if he’d care otherwise.

He follows you into your room and immediately notices the perfectly made bed and the neatly organized desk. Your curtains are drawn close, but the sheerness of it allows the mid-afternoon sun to brighten the room regardless. Your bedroom smells faintly of vanilla and cinnamon, and he notices the small scented candle still smoking from when you’d put it out.

Nothing in the room indicates that he was inside the room of a psychopath, though maybe Namjoon or Taehyung would argue that anyone who makes their bed every day might be a little out of it. Jungkook continues to stand awkwardly by the door, unsure of what to do next except to stare.

You plop onto your bed, giving him an expectant look. “Well? Are you just gonna stand there by the door and have Yoongi see us measure your dick or what?” That gets Jungkook to move. He closes the door, pausing for a second before locking it for good measure. Then, he takes the short two steps that he needs to stand right in front of you.

You crane your neck, appraising him silently as he fidgets from the weirdness of it all. Your gaze trails down and Jungkook is not surprised when you stop to stare at his neon pink shorts. You snort, thumbing the edge of his shorts lightly. Jungkook shivers even though you’re barely touching him and he knows that you notice.

“Trying to get back at me for leaving you with blue balls yesterday?” you muse, letting go of the thin material. Jungkook wants to bring your hand back to his thigh, but he forces himself to keep still.

He looks down. “Not really? But I mean… Is it working?” He can’t help the hopeful lilt in his voice.

You laugh, patting him lightly on the thigh. “No worries, Jungkook. I did promise you a little something last night, right? I admit it was shitty of me to leave you like that, despite what you already might think of me. You probably think I’m just some insane bitch, right?”

Jungkook stares at you. “Do you want me to be honest or...?”

You roll your eyes, but you seem more amused than anything. “Save it. I know I’m weird. But, a promise is a promise…” You trail off, winking at him. “Besides, this works out for the both of us, right? I wanted to measure your dick before we meet up with Taeyong and Doyoung tomorrow, and I can help you blow your rocks right after. Seems like a deal?”

“Is it bad that I’m so ready to have you suck me off that I’m honest to God accepting your offer without any sense of dignity?”

You consider him for a moment. Then, “Nah. I know dudes who would do worse things for three grand and to have their dick sucked. I’d say you’re just doing you.” You place your hands back on his hips, thumbing around the garter of his shorts.

Jungkook groans, not even flinching when you rip his shorts and boxers off in one rough flourish. His soft dick dangles heavily between his thighs. “See, I’m not entirely comforted knowing that you agree with my moral dilemma.”

You clap your hands together, excitement glittering in your expression. “Who cares! Let’s get you all hard and ready, shall we?”

Jungkook squirms under your gaze, getting dick stage fright. “H-hey… This isn’t like porn… I can’t just get hard when I want to, you know? I need… stimulation or some shit.”

You nod, humming thoughtfully. “You’re right… And I remember you said something about taking a long time to get fully hard, right? That’s gonna be a problem indeed.” You lean forward, “So. Tell me, Jungkook. What are your kinks?”

If Jungkook was drinking water, he’s sure he’d be doing a spit take right now. Instead, he just chokes on his own saliva, coughing out his lungs at your sudden inquiry. “M-my kinks? What for?”

“To get you hard, duh.” You leave featherlight grazes around his thigh, leaving goosebumps in their wake. It stirs something inside Jungkook, but not enough to do anything yet. You tsk, your brow crumpling as you decide what to do next. “What if I…”

You dig your nails into the meat of his thighs and inadvertently pull him closer. He stumbles forward, his breath knocked out of him despite how little you’d done so far. “W-wait,” he wheezes, shock running down his spine. “I––”

You smirk at him, digging harder until you’re sure to leave white little crescents littered around his thigh. “Aha. I guessed you’d be into that. You liked it when I bit you yesterday, didn’t you?”

Jungkook can’t even answer. He’s trying to keep his breathing steady, squeezing his eyelids shut. He hears you shuffling in front of him, and he soon senses your body press closer to him, alerting him that you have stood up. You wrap your arms around his neck, bending his head down until he can feel your breath fan across his lips.

Are you going to kiss him? But the contact doesn’t come; instead, your hands snake up to his hair, massaging his scalp for a moment before tugging on his roots harshly. It pulls a whine from his lips, the response surprising even himself. “S-shit,” he grits his teeth, urging you to do it again. He opens his eyes slightly, sees you watching him with rapt attention.

You lick your lips, looking at him like a meal ready to be eaten. The heat in his stomach builds, but Jungkook doesn’t have it in him to be embarrassed anymore. He doesn’t really have any more room in his brain anymore other than his unabashedly horny thoughts.

“Pain slut, huh? Somehow, it suits you.” You sound breathy, as if you were the one being pleasured instead. It makes Jungkook’s cock twitch a little, coming to life in front of you as you continue to assault his nerves.

“Do you like pain everywhere?” Your hands leave his head, coming down to the edge of his shirt. It’s a silent request, and Jungkook allows you to lift up his sweater, leaving him completely bare before you. You throw it somewhere to your right, eyes raking him up and down. Something about you still being fully clothed makes Jungkook’s inside light on fire, and it rushes blood down south before he can even understand why.

You chuckle, looking at his hardened nipples with interest. “Pierced? What a naughty boy you are.” You flick him there experimentally, and when Jungkook’s breath hitches, that gives you a go sign to do more. You fiddle around with the rosy bud some more, circling it with the pads of your fingers until Jungkook was a whining mess before you. “Sensitive… What a prize you are, Jungkook.”

Jungkook keens at the praise, even though he knows you didn’t really mean it in a good way. He finds himself wanting to please you: to get himself hard for you, to make you want him like how he wants you. He honestly can’t tell if you’re enjoying this as much as him, other than the way you’re watching him closely like a hawk.

He’s nearly half-hard, his cock jutting against your stomach. You peer down, figuring out your next move as he holds his breath, afraid he might do something wrong. Your fingers move once more, tracing shapes across his stomach and causing the muscles there to contract. He anticipates your next movements, his dick steadily throbbing.

“I suppose the easiest way to get you hard is to touch you here, right?” you murmur lowly. You grip him by the hips all of a sudden, your thumbs placed firmly into his Adonis’ belt. You inch closer and closer to where he wants you the most, and you watch him amusedly as he clamps down on his bottom lip, unwilling to sound desperate so early in the game.

(Was it early though? He’s been thinking about this exact scenario since last night, even plaguing his dreams. Still, it wouldn’t look cool if he just… busted a nut just from having his dick out. Even he knew that was kinda sad.)

Despite his best efforts, perhaps the desperation is apparent on his face because you eventually do take pity on him. You wrap your fingers around his length, not moving just yet. You smile secretly to yourself when you hear Jungkook exhale and swallow audibly, but you’re waiting for something. You look up at him, batting your eyelashes innocently as if you didn’t have his dick in your hands.

“What do good boys say when they want something?” You’re fishing, but your teasing tone breaks Jungkook down enough to release a ragged moan. He places his hands on your shoulder, using you for support as you slowly inch your hand down to the base of his cock.

He can’t keep the whine out of his voice when he says, “P...Please. Move?”

Your grin is wicked. “Of course, baby.”

Yeah, if you keep this up, Jungkook is going to come embarrassingly fast and he doesn’t think you’ll be quite pleased with that.

There is pre-cum leaking at the tip of his cock, dangerously close to pooling over and dripping all over your carpet. You are quick to swipe it off with your thumb, dragging it down his shaft for an easier slide. Jungkook’s abs tense, his teeth clamping on his bottom lip so aggressively that he almost splits it open. His grip on your shoulders tighten, but you don’t mind. You keep stroking him languidly, not going fast enough for Jungkook’s liking, but the concentration on your face is enough to make Jungkook release a stilted moan. It doesn’t take long until the wet squelch of your hand jerking him fills the room, coupled with the sound of Jungkook’s labored breathing.

“You’re really wet,” you chuckle, watching with fascination as your words urge another drop of pre-cum to collect at his tip. “Are you always like this?”

“N-not… Really?” It takes a while for Jungkook’s brain to connect, caught between wanting to keep his eyes shut and wanting to stare at your cute hands trying to wrap around his dick. Your fingers can’t even circle the girth of his cock, the realization almost making Jungkook come there and then.

He’d never been one to be overly confident about his penis size, to be honest. He doesn’t really go around proclaiming it to the world, and his meager body count doesn’t help the fact that most people are unaware of the extent of his package. He isn’t itching to tell people either, but he’s starting to see why people would be envious of having a large dick. The sight of you struggling to pump his cock really makes for a pretty picture.

“Ugh, my arm is getting tired,” you complain after a while, getting frustrated when you realize that Jungkook is almost fully hard, but not quite. “Jeez. Your dick is so huge that it really takes a minute for the fuel tank to fill up, huh?”

“I-I’m sorry?” Jungkook wheezes, nearly crying out when you flick your wrist in just the right manner. Your hand pauses by the head of his dick, squeezing tightly enough not to be painful, much to his disappointment. Jungkook is still too shy to ask for more.

You let go of him all of a sudden, causing a guttural whine to escape Jungkook’s lips. Ignoring him, you nudge him back a few steps, Jungkook complying wordlessly. He’s still confused until you reach over to your bed, grabbing one of your pillows before dropping to your knees. Jungkook’s jaw drops, spluttering incomprehensibly as you cushion your knees with the pillow.

You look up, giggling amusedly. “Reminds you of last night, huh? Not gonna lie, I’ve been itching to have your cock in my mouth, though I’m not even sure if any of it can fit. That’s not gonna stop me from trying.”

Oh God. Oh Geez. Jungkook is going to die, isn’t he? He vaguely remembers his dream from the night before, how your pretty pink lips had stretched over his dick, barely going past his head. He whines pathetically, another string of pre-cum finally dripping down and landing on your thighs.

You hold him by his hips, preventing him from moving as your hot breath fans across his wet head. You lick your lips, taking one glance up at him before giving his tip a quick peck. It’s nothing to write home about, but the way Jungkook’s breath catches is enough to encourage you to do more. You suckle his head a little, suctioning your lips and moaning slightly at the bitter tang. Your eyes flutter shut, tongue swirling nondescript patterns as you greedily engrave his taste into your mind.

The image of you enjoying yourself is enough to get Jungkook fully hard. He feels like he’s on fire, from his flushed cheeks all the way to his groin. He doesn’t know where to put his hands, unsure if you’d allow him to pull on your hair.

You must have noticed his plight, because one of your hands leaves his hips to grasp his own, bringing it to your hair. You pop off his dick for a second, lips already redder than before. Jungkook wishes he could kiss you, but he’s still so unsure. “You can pull my hair, but if you push me down further than I’m willing to go, I’m stopping immediately, okay?” Your voice is authoritative and your gaze is steely, but it only prompts Jungkook to moan in reply.

He nods, nearly getting whiplash from how quickly his head bobs. You smirk, appeased by his obedience. You return to your ministrations, rewarding him by going further down and bobbing your head at a snail’s pace.

Jungkook’s sanity is barely hanging onto a thread. He wants to thrust into your wet mouth, never having felt this sort of pleasure in his life. He’s beginning to understand why Jimin is such a slut, and he wonders why on earth he’s been denying himself things like this. His eyes are half-lidded, but he’s determined to watch you as your masterful tongue brings him to the edge of hysteria.

When Jungkook doesn’t think your mouth can go further down, you surprise him once again. You go lower, and Jungkook feels your throat swallow around him until he nearly screams. Drool pools in the inside of his mouth, as if Jungkook’s body doesn’t know what to do with the pleasure. His legs nearly give out, but your hands keep him mounted.

His toes are curling, thighs trembling. “Fuck,” he whines, unable to stop himself when he thrusts a little into your mouth. “Shit, I didn’t mean to–”

You glance up at him. Your eyes are tearing up, but otherwise you look unperturbed. You flatten your tongue on the underside of his dick, tracing the vein there as you slowly come up for air. You swallow the mix of saliva and pre-cum in your mouth, licking your lips like you’ve just had a 5-star meal. You look absolutely debauched, though Jungkook knows he’s probably not doing much better.

“No gag reflex. It’s fine,” you shrug, as if you’d just told him about the weather. Your voice sounds hoarse, roughened by the assault of his dick on your throat. “Are you close?”

Jungkook doesn’t want to admit it, but– “Yes,” he says. He’s breathing like he’s just run a marathon, sweat dripping down his neck. You observe it drip down his body, as it curves down his neck and to his chest.

“You aren’t coming until I say so, got it?” You warn. He nods, cock twitching in desperation for your mouth to continue what it was doing.

But instead, you reach back to your bed, and Jungkook finally notices the tape measure that you’d left there. Oh right. Jungkook is brought back to reality, suddenly remembering why he’d gone here in the first place.

“This will only take a second, baby,” you whisper lowly, and Jungkook’s conscience is shot out of his head once more. Call him baby one more time, and Jungkook is sure to bust his load. He’s worried he might gain a Pavlovian response to the word; getting hard every time someone so much as utters “baby” for whatever reason.

You unravel the measuring tape, placing the end of it near the base of his member. You drag it over his length, whistling in awe as the number keeps growing and growing. “Shit, you really are huge,” you gasp in amazement, peering closely at the measurement to make sure you aren’t reading it wrong. “Nearly nine inches. Are you insane?”

Jungkook chuckles in embarrassment, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s… nothing?”

You snort, shaking your head at the pure audacity of this boy in front of you. “No need to humblebrag, baby. Unless you want me to degrade you, then stop being coy with me.”

At the word “degrade,” Jungkook’s erection twitches with interest. Of course, you notice. “Oh? You want me to degrade you?”

Jungkook’s face heats up, forever astonished by your brazenness. “N-no! That’s not what I–”

“You want me to call your cock pathetic, huh? Is that what you want?”

Jungkook whines, shifting from foot to foot as he tries to avoid your lustful gaze. “I…”

“Want me to call you names, huh? Took your cock so long to get hard, struggled so much to get it up. What a useless dick that you have…” you trail off, covering your mouth behind your hand to hide your grin.

Jungkook feels like he’s about to fall over. The pressure in between his legs is reaching his breaking point, and Jungkook really doesn’t want to embarrass himself by coming untouched. He has a sinking suspicion you’d enjoy it if he did, however.

Your hand slides back to his crotch, cupping his erection once more. You run your palm along him once, enjoying the way his breath hitches. He’s undeniably close and it fills you with pride knowing that you did this to him. “You’re close.” You say it like a fact.

Jungkook squirms. “Please… Faster… I’m so close, Y/N. Just a lil bit more, please…”

“I love it when you beg,” you laugh, sounding a little mean. “But since you’ve been nice all this time, I’ll let you.”

Your hands speed up, twisting and pulling him in ways that Jungkook isn’t sure are possible. He’s full-on panting like a fucking dog right now, humping shallowly into your hand like he’s lost his mind. He’s so unbelievably close, the heat in his stomach climbing higher and higher until––

“SHIT! Y/N!”

You stop, confused. That shout didn’t sound like Jungkook. You turn to your closed door, ears straining for the sound again. “Yoongi?” you call out. “Did you say something?”

Muffled footsteps come rushing closer. Your doorknob jiggles, but Jungkook had thankfully locked it when he’d come into the room earlier. Yoongi huffs from behind the door, banging loudly on the frame. “Y/N! Help! I fucking dropped the cheesecake!”

“He dropped the cheesecake,” you repeat dully to yourself. You share a look with Jungkook. The banging doesn’t stop.

“Y/N PLEASEEE THE KITCHEN IS A MESS!” Yoongi screams, uncaring of whatever he was interrupting. “YOU OWE ME! I PAID FOR YOUR RENT LAST MONTH SO YOU GOTTA HELP!”

“I hate that bastard,” you sigh, defeated. You let go of Jungkook reluctantly, giving him an apologetic look. Jungkook wants to cry. “I’m… really sorry for leaving you again like this. I…” you hesitate, looking at the door then back to him. “I do kind of owe him, so…”

Jungkook exhales shakily, bending down to the floor to pick his shirt up. He dresses quietly, cheeks burning. Why must you keep torturing him like this? He thinks his balls might explode at this point. “It’s no problem… I’ll just take care of myself at home.”

You peer at him, feeling incredibly guilty. “I have a connecting bathroom. You could use it if you want?”

“That’d be great, thanks.” Jungkook says before hurriedly rushing out of there. He refuses to look at you as he slams the bathroom door shut, breathing slowly through his nostrils in an attempt to calm himself. He waits as he listens for you to leave before his hands scramble back onto his dick, loudly crying out as he tugs himself to completion.

His legs give out from under him as he slides down to the floor, spurts of hot cum flying past his fist. Wave after wave of pleasure tingles down his spine as he slides up and down his cock. After his dick shoots its last droplet of cum, Jungkook slams his head against your bathroom wall. He’s exhausted.

He closes his eyes, thinks about how his life has led him up to this moment. Jizzing in some near stranger’s home while one of his best friends cleans up his fallen cheesecake.

“Jesus fucking Christ I hate it here,” he says. He gets up unsteadily, washing his hands of his mess.

x x x x x

Fully dressed and unsatisfyingly sated, Jungkook exits your bathroom with a flush down his neck. He keeps his eyes averted from you, but not before glaring heatedly at Yoongi as he turns to leave. Yoongi cocks his head to the side, annoyingly unaware of what he had done.

“You okay, dude? You look like a bull ready to pummel me,” Yoongi snickers, bemused by Jungkook’s flared nostrils. “Seriously. You okay?”

You slap Yoongi on the thigh, huffing angrily as you stay squatted on the floor, your other hand busy wiping off the cheesecake from the floor with a paper towel. “Shut up. You’ve done enough shitheadery today.”

Yoongi looks at the mounted clock on your fridge. “It’s only 7PM. My shitheadery doesn’t clock out until 10PM today.”

Rolling his eyes, Jungkook waves his goodbye. “Well. I guess I’ll see you guys,” he murmurs, inching closer to the door. He walks out in silence, no longer bothering to hide his pouting. He takes the elevator down, ruminating on his existence. When he reaches the ground floor, his phone immediately dings with a notification.

from: y/n l/n ❣️ hey. please don’t hate me. i’m really sorry. raincheck?

Jungkook snorts, stopping in his tracks. It’s always just rainchecks with you. He types up a quick response.

from: jjk it’s not your fault. it’s fine.

from: y/n l/n ❣️ you sure? you got off well by yourself at least, right?

from: jjk yeah. don’t worry about it.

from: y/n l/n ❣️ if you’re down… i could help you through the phone? when you get home? :( i just feel really bad. like, genuinely. yoongi is an asshole.

The offer sounds interesting, but sadly, Jungkook is out of juice for the day. He’s got a lot of stamina for many things, but it turns out he’s out of practice when it comes to his own dick.

from: jjk nah it’s fine. thanks though.

from: y/n l/n ❣️ i hope you’re still down for the contest? doyoung texted me while we were busy a while ago and said that they were free tomorrow after 12?

from: jjk no worries. i’ll be there.

from: y/n l/n ❣️ <3 ty you’re the best!! <3

He groans, slapping himself in the face. God, he is so fucking whipped.

x x x x x

The next day, Jungkook wakes up with a burning headache. He feels hungover even though he didn’t drink at all the night before, and Jungkook wonders if his brain had somehow deflated overnight with how hollow he feels. He grabs his phone from his bed stand, sees a new text from you reminding him of what he’d promised.

You had sent him an address to another apartment complex just a few bus stops away from where he lives and he assumes this must be either Doyoung’s or Taeyong’s place. He shuts his eyes for another few moments, trying his best to remember how to live.

It’s already nearing noon, so he needs to get going if he doesn’t want to be late. He shudders to think what you might do if he ghosts you. Despite how guilty you were yesterday for leaving him mid-nut, he doesn’t think that debt will cover him if he chooses not to show up to the dick-measuring contest.

On the bus, he fidgets in his seat, picking at the rips in his jeans and doing anything to keep his mind busy. He keeps thinking that someone knows what he’s up to, paranoia eating him from the inside out as he darts his eyes left and right, hoping no one can actually read minds. The bus is relatively empty, with only him and an elderly couple sitting near the front. They seem none the wiser, though Jungkook fears what they would think if they knew what he was up to.

He almost wishes he was wearing Seokjin’s thot shorts, as the skimpy excuse of clothing had somehow given him some sort of confidence the day before. Gone is that false sense of (misplaced) bravado; instead, Jungkook is filled with anxiety at the prospect of showing a couple of strangers his dick.

(A fairly human response, but that doesn’t help Jungkook’s current case.)

He arrives at the apartment complex in record time, and he sees you standing by the entrance. You look well-rested, your hands fiddling with your phone. Jungkook has only ever seen you when you were wearing that revealing dress from the club and your pajamas from your home, so he’s kind of shocked to see you look cute in your simple white dress and jean jacket. Not that you didn’t look good those other times, but seeing you look like a normal university student is astonishing, for lack of better word.

You almost look like a regular girl just waiting for her date to pick her up.

“Hey!” You greet him cheerily when you see him approach, waving at him. He waves back, the apples of his cheeks dusted pink from his previous thoughts. She’s not your date, you weirdo. Wait, she’s the weirdo. Get it together man! This shit is fucked up.

“This is their place, I assume?” Jungkook asks, looking at the building. It appears almost identical to your own apartment complex, minus the mini water fountain at the front. Ah, the wonders of living in a concrete jungle.

“Yep,” you nod. You start walking towards the entrance, with Jungkook following closely. “You ready? God, I can’t wait to see Doyoung’s stupid face. He’s gonna be so pissed!”

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Jungkook mutters, vibrating with nerves.

You both make your way to the apartment, with you humming quietly while he sweats profusely beside you. At least one of you is having fun, he thinks grimly to himself. You reach apartment 322, knocking three times before a boy with neat black hair opens the door.

“Y/N! Good to see you,” the boy says, reaching for a hug. You hug him back enthusiastically, ignoring Jungkook’s bemused stares. If this boy is either Doyoung or Taeyong, aren’t you supposed to… hate both of their guts? Or at least, not be friends? What even is going on?

When you step back, you point at Jungkook offhandedly. “Oh yeah, this is Jungkook. The guy I’m dating.”

Jungkook nearly chokes on his own spit, but luckily the boy doesn’t notice. Right… You guys are supposed to be dating. It’s not real, though. Get a grip! “Hi, I’m Jungkook,” he wheezes, shaking the other guy’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you…”

“I’m Doyoung,” he introduces himself, a small smile on his lips. “Nice to meet you too. I’ve heard… a lot about you, so to speak.”

Jungkook squeaks, earning a chuckle from Doyoung. “No need to be embarrassed. I think we’re way past that point now. Sorry for roping you into this, by the way. But when Y/N wants to fight, well… Let’s just say I’m not going to be the first one who backs down.”

“Says the dude who couldn’t even beat me at arm wrestling,” you snort, pushing past Doyoung and walking into his home. Doyoung rolls his eyes, gesturing for Jungkook to come in.

“Props to you for dating her, by the way. I’ve been friends with that demon since elementary school, so I know what she’s like. You must be a guy with strong willpower,” Doyoung says.

“I’m… Sorry for saying this, but I’m kind of confused? I didn’t know you guys were friends,” Jungkook says, examining Doyoung’s apartment. It’s a lot bigger than yours, though he does recall you saying that Doyoung was filthy rich. It’s a lot more modern looking for sure, as Jungkook can see that Doyoung has two industrial-sized refrigerators in his kitchen. What kind of university student needs two industrial-sized refrigerators?

“Yeah, we are. She actually only dated Taeyong because she knew we both liked each other but I was too stubborn to make a move, so she did the only thing she knew how to do: be an asshole,” he explains simply. Jungkook nods, needing no further clarification.

“Jungkook! Come with me,” you pop out from one of the doorways deeper in the apartment, beckoning him closer. You point at Doyoung, “And you. Get Taeyong ready. I’m gonna need a few minutes to get Jungkook in tip-top shape!”

Doyoung chuckles, shoving Jungkook towards you. “Well, that’s my cue. I’ll introduce you to Taeyong later, I guess. He’s in my bedroom, so we’ll come out in about 20 minutes? That should be enough time, right?”

Yeah. Right. Jungkook walks numbly towards you, arms rigged by his sides as you pull him into Doyoung’s spare bathroom. You lock the door close, whirling around to face him with your hands on your hips. You’ve rolled your sleeves up, appearing like a demented surgeon preparing to dissect him. “Well! Strip!”

Jungkook is clumsy when he unbuttons his jeans, his entire body feeling like it’s being weighed down by pounds of lead. He shucks them off, leaving him in his boxers (thankfully, with no holes in them. He made sure to double-check before he left this morning.) You appraise him silently, thinking of what to do next.

Before Jungkook can say anything, your hands are already on his chest, pointer fingers placed near his nipples. His piercings are visible through his thin shirt, much to your appreciation. You circle them lazily, much like how you did yesterday.

Jungkook can’t relax long enough to enjoy it, however. His shoulders are tense, fists clenched behind his back. He’s trying to stop thinking about what’s going to happen, trying to enjoy your touch. He grits his teeth, swallowing thickly.

“I… I can’t do this, Y/N.” he mumbles. “I don’t think I can get hard. I’m too nervous.”

You pause in your movements. “You’re nervous?” you purr, voice lowering. Jungkook stops fidgeting to stare at you, sensing the shift in your demeanor. “How can I alleviate that, hmm?”

“What?”

You pinch his nipples, hard. He gasps, whimpering right after from the jolt of pain. “I think I know how to calm you down,” you murmur, staring him down like he’s nothing more than a delicious snack.

“You want me to hurt you, huh? Is that it? Answer me, slut.” You say those words, but there’s a small bit of hesitation in your expression, like you’re worried if he truly likes it. When he nods enthusiastically, urging you to go on, you smile softly at him. His heart hammers in his chest, a small case of butterflies beginning to erupt there. You look kinda cute, even if you have his nipples in a twist.

“If it’s too much, just say ‘dumbo’ and I’ll stop, okay?” Jungkook nods once more, eager to get going.

You smirk, letting go of his nipples and gripping his hips instead. Your thumbs stay innocently above his boxers. “Do you like it when I call you names too, huh? You like being pinched and prodded?”

Jungkook whines, already turning needy. The anxiety from a while ago slowly drains away, leaving only lust to cloud his mind. “N-no, I just…”

“No?” You laugh, your thumbs catching on the garter of his boxers and pulling them down until the tip of his cock peeks out, already in the midst of getting hard. “Then what’s this?”

“Nggh…” Jungkook can’t say anything, can only stare helplessly at you.

“Pathetic. You have a nine-inch cock but it’s good for nothing except earning me a bit of money. Shame, isn’t it? Would be nice if you knew how to use it, then maybe I’d let you fuck me,” you say, edging closer to him until your lips find his exposed collarbones. You suck harshly, giddy when color immediately blooms at the spot. You thread your fingers into his dark, fluffy hair – and tug.

It’s too much all at once – Jungkook isn’t ready for any of it at all. He’s panting, whining, drooling a little. He shimmies his hips a little, his boxers sliding down his thighs and onto the marble floor. His cock springs free, already dripping pre-cum but still only half-hard.

“Ah, there it is. Your big useless cock. My, my… Already dirtying Doyoungie’s floor with your slick, huh? You gonna make the floor wet, baby?”

Jungkook garbles something; did he say something? Who knows. All he knows right now is that 1) you’re making him lose his marbles and 2) he’s embarrassingly close. He’s never gotten this hard so fast in his entire life, and he might be suffering from blood loss or something. His head feels light, like he’s floating. His entire body is thrumming, senses filled with nothing but you.

You gently lead him closer to the bathtub where you sit, still paying no attention to his weeping arousal. Your mouth is dangerously close to it though, but you make no move to hold him in your mouth. Instead, you hike your skirt up until it reaches your waist, revealing your white panties. Jungkook zeroes in on the darkening patch, a shuddering breath leaving his lungs. He’s screwed.

“Show me how you pleasured yourself yesterday, when you were in my bathroom,” you say, caressing the front of your panties. You grind against your palm, eyelashes fluttering as your jaw drops into an ‘o’. You exhale through your nose, laughing breathily. “If you do well, then maybe I’ll show you what I did when you left, hmm?”

Jungkook has never moved faster in his life than he did then. He takes his erection into his hands, sighing with relief when he begins to pump. He moves slower than he usually would, unwilling to finish so soon after getting this far. He’s already wound up from your teasing (and if you count the past few days, then let’s say he’s been edged long enough.)

You study him with sharp eyes, focusing on the movement of his hands. “That’s it. It must be easy jerking off with how wet you are, huh?”

“Y-yeah.” Jungkook speeds up, flicking his wrist and focusing on the sensitive tip of his cock. His attention is pulled when he sees you shift from the corner of his eye. His grip stutters when you push your panties to the side, giving him a full view of your glistening core. He licks his lips, aching to put his mouth there but only if you’d allow him.

“Why’d you stop?” You stretch your leg out, using your foot to urge his wrist to keep moving. “Come on. I want to see you.”

You circle your clit leisurely before dipping your fingers into your pussy two fingers at a time, wet enough for the slide to be smooth. Jungkook quickens his pace, wanting to match your speed. He watches, mesmerized, at the sight of your fingers pushing in and out.

The obscene sounds coming from the both of you is loud enough to mask Jungkook’s desperate mewls. He’s going faster now, wanting nothing more than to cum all over you and your pussy. You’d look good in his cum, the pearly droplets would look good in contrast with your perfect skin.

Your thighs are shaking, your own breathing shallow as you quickly approach your end. You’re moaning in tandem with him, your arousal coating your fingers generously as it begins to run down the back of your hand. You’re scissoring yourself, but it’s barely enough when you compare it to Jungkook’s cock. No, nothing would be enough to prepare you to take him. He’d ruin you, and the thought of him breaking you is enough to help you tip over the edge.

“Fuuuuuuck,” you moan, eyes screwing shut as you are wrought with the strongest orgasm of your life. More wetness drips out of you as you rub frantically at your clit, riding your high. You look at Jungkook through your eyelashes, lips parted. “Fuck,” you repeat.

Jungkook can’t hold back anymore. He knows he shouldn’t cum but the pleasure is skyrocketing at an unparalleled speed. His balls tighten, the heat in his abdomen building until he can’t hold back even if he tried. He shudders once, twice, before jets of his cum spills from over his fist, some of the droplets making their way onto your thighs. He moans at the sight, doesn’t try to change his trajectory as his mind is completely hazed with lust. “Shit, I’m–” Jungkook grinds one last time into his hand, before promptly slumping down onto the floor.

“Jesus, that was a lot of cum,” he hears you say, but he can’t bring himself to look at you. He’s ashamed, having cummed without your permission. He can feel his dick softening underneath him, and he dimly remembers that hadn’t been the plan at all. He was supposed to get hard, have his dick measured, and then finish if he was allowed. And now, he ruined everything because he couldn’t hold himself back.

“I’m… I’m sorry,” he mutters quietly, hiding behind his cum-stained hands. He cringes when the mess enters his eyes, wiping his palm somewhere on his leg. “Fuck. I messed everything up. You were just… It was too much… You…”

“Should’ve used your safety word, Jungkook.”

“It wasn’t because it was bad,” Jungkook’s cheeks flush, “It was… too good.”

You kneel beside him, cradling his chin and forcing him to look at you. He had been afraid to see disappointment in your eyes, so he’s absolutely surprised to see you look… amused. You’re even giggling a little.

“Sorry. I went a bit overboard. Even I get horny sometimes,” you shrug, wiping a bit of cum away from his forehead. Your own fingers are slick with your own cum, so really, you were just making a bigger mess of his face. Jungkook can’t say he’s opposed to a little mess. “You just looked so good that I couldn’t help myself.”

“You… enjoyed yourself, too? I’m not insane for thinking there’s something between us?”

“Honestly, you’re at least a little bit insane,” you laugh at his dumbfounded expression. “What? I’m cuckoo, and you know it. The fact that you got turned on by me even after all I’d done to you… Really puts you into perspective, huh?”

Jungkook grumbles, but he’s no longer frowning. “I guess. My friends tell me I have a type, and I guess you fit the bill.”

You laugh wholeheartedly at that, and it brings a smile to Jungkook’s face. He likes it when you laugh, he decides. “Same here. I guess you’re my type, too.”

You peer down at his flaccid dick. “Too bad about your meat flute, though. Unless you can get it back up in the next 2 minutes, then I don’t think you’re getting that three grand.”

“Please don’t call my dick that,” Jungkook says before shrugging his shoulders. “And it’s no worries. I had the biggest nut of my life and that’s good enough to me. Plus, you said you’d give me one thousand dollars if I agreed to help you out, so you better not back out on that.”

You snigger, patting him gently on the shoulder. “Yeah, whatever. But not before we get out of here and you fuck my brains out, got it? You need to work for it, baby.”

Is it bad that his cock was already beginning to stir once more? Unprecedented, as it usually took Jungkook ages to get back up. Maybe you really were the one for him.

“Deal. Let’s get out of here?”

When the two of you finish getting cleaned up and leave the bathroom with no evidence that you had even been there, Doyoung doesn’t even bat an eye as you walk past him, eager to get out of the door. Taeyong is lounging on the couch with his dick… mysteriously still in his pants, as if he had no intention of taking them off in the first place.

“Sorry, we need to leave. There’s an emergency we have to attend to. See you, Doyoungie!” You tug Jungkook along, who waves his own hasty goodbye.

The door clicks shut, leaving the couple alone once more. Taeyong grins up at Doyoung, “You really are amazing, Doyoung. How’d you know she’d end up with him?”

Doyoung flicks open his phone, showing Taeyong his text messages with none other than Kim Seokjin himself. “All according to keikaku, my love. Kim Seokjin always wins.”

[j10kkuno]

The Sykks, the Guses, Ray, and Conan: Broken Bonds Reconnecting in Los Santos

OR: Have some family headcanons until all of these get negated by canon Nopixel because I'm a writer and these things are what I thrive on.

The most defining part of this that impacts everything like a domino effect: The Sykk family is rich rich. Like Yuno's great grandfather made some understated everyday product everyone uses. Reasons why I say this: Yuno/his parents had enough money to put him through college for several years only for him to fail and he still had enough money in his trust fund to run away to Los Santos, pay for an apartment, get settled, pay bills, etc. That's not just parents with good jobs. Also, Euno has a history in the States(Dating Conan, seems on good terms ish with Yuno, suggesting they grew up together), but according to wiki he's been in Europe but also decided to up and move to LS for reasons related to Yuno and moving back and forth and back between continents is very pricy and complicated and you have to leave people behind which is really hard so yeah. Sykk family is rich rich.

Due to that, Yuno and Euno both grew up with a list of expectations they had to live up to, Euno was meant to inherit the French branch of their company, they were both expected to be straight, rebellion was frowned upon, etc. Just everything you'd expect from people of their status and think of Yuno's personality and what Sykkuno wants to use Euno to do in game and how stifling that would be for them.

I was reading a headcanon on Yuno and Ray Mond yesterday about their parents being divorced and that's why they have different last names and I have a thought on that.

Basically, I'm thinking that Yuno's mom was having fertility issues and his dad was frustrated and like all rich men, strayed and cheated with Ms. Mond, an employee at the company's office, who got pregnant. His parents frowned and worried about reputation because they're very traditional, but when they found out Ms. Mond was pregnant with twins, they allowed him to keep the boy, but the girl had to be sent away. Ms. Mond was very unhappy, but she was paid well. Mrs. Sykk was unhappy but thankful the moment Yuno, three hours old, was placed in her arms. Yuno was never told his mom isn't biologically his mother, but she's the only mom he'll ever have, despite her expectations.

Mrs. Sykk's brother is Mr. Gus and Yuno grew up seeing Amon and Bin quite often. They were his favorite cousins. However, when they were around 8-10ish, the Gus family disappeared. Yuno cried for ages and over time, memories have faded but he has vague memories of them. In reality, the Gus parents are killed in a brutal car accident where the car is set on fire. An onlooker is barely able to save the children. All identification is burned and the children hit their heads so there's no way to identify them so because they're on vacation, they're forced into the local foster care system with only each other to cling to. Memories of their past life come and go, including of Yuno, which Bin especially can hold onto.

Ray grew up living a normal life in the midwest with a single mom. The Sykks paid off Ms. Mond handsomly, but she still worked to make ends meet so Ray could have most of that money for college/as an adult. Her life was dedicated to Ray. When Ray was 18, she stumbled across the contract, but didn't say anything until a big blow out fight a few years later and then Ms. Mond tells her everything and then Ray starts looking for Yuno, who she finds in LS. One day, she'll meet the Sykks and go off on them, but be kindest to Yuno's mom, who just wanted a child to please her husband and in law and feel like she wasn't a failure.

Yuno and Euno both felt like they didn't fit in with business and snobby rich people, both enjoying pranks and crime shows but Euno was able to pretend much better. His father was in charge of the French branch of their company, and they made sure he split his time evenly between the States and France as a child. As a young adult, he chose Columbia University in Liberty City for college(Ivy League school btw, Yuno also attended an Ivy League but the family preferred Dartmouth. Columbia was viewed as Euno's big rebellion). He wanted to get lost in the bustle of the city and find a place to be himself. And he does, in a young Conan Clarkson. He was a criminal justice major at a much less prestigious university but he captured Euno's heart easily. Conan let him joke around, let him be vulnerable when all his life Euno was told a man never lets anyone sees his vulnerabilities, and never, ever expects anything but love from him. Euno wishes their time together could last forever, but he knows eventually, he'll be expected to return to France. And he is, as soon as he graduates, and he asks Conan to come with. Conan's already been accepted to the Police Academy in Los Santos. Conan asks him to come with to Los Santos, but Euno has been prepped his entire life to take a position at the French branch and he's not strong enough to say no. It hurts like hell, but they break up. And Euno is miserable. Business isn't for him and now that he knows who he is he hates the person he has to pretend to be.

A few years later, Yuno tells him he's in Los Santos and his found family and how nice it is and the nice cops and Euno always loved hearing about Conan's major and passions so he asks more about the police program and so he and Yuno plans. And in the middle of the night, Euno leaves Paris with only as much as his suitcase will carry and catches a flight to LS. Three nights later, he runs into Conan at the pier, and well, it takes a few months, but home is where the heart is and Euno's home has been Los Santos for a lot longer than anyone knew.

Meanwhile, Yuno is overjoyed to be reunited with the Gus brothers and tells them about their past and introduces them to Ray, who is super excited to meet more family(!!!). The four feels like they were meant to meet all along and be family and now that they've met, they refuse to be parted. Yuno's family tries, and they really try with Euno, the once golden child, but neither of them are budging. They've made a home in Los Santos and they're not leaving it for anything. (Euno's little brother is very happy to suddenly be the heir of the French branch so it all works out)

[notcorrect-persona5]

akira for the character ask thing please!

Yes!! I’ve been wanting someone to ask me about Ren or Yu. After typing this though I feel like some of my opinions are kinda controversial 😅

Favorite Thing About Them

This is the question that keeps me from posting these quickly. There are too many things I love about these characters. It’s really hard to pick a favorite thing, so I’ll just talk about one of the many things I love.

Even though we know nothing about his life pre-game and he’s a silent protag, Ren’s still a really unique character while also being a normal, teenage boy. He doesn’t need to be weird or have an intriguing backstory to be interesting. He also feels like he could be a real person. And he’s hilarious.

Least Favorite Thing About Them

He’s mean to Mishima for no reason.

I wish he had more of a backstory. I want to know more about him and his life prior to the game. I think Strikers would have been the best opportunity to give us some more insight on his life, and I was really disappointed when that didn’t happen.

The way some of the fandom sexualizes him is disgusting. He’s a child.

Favorite Line

“I’m not the free labor type.”

brOTP

Ryuji!! They’re friendship is so pure 🥺

OTP

Shumako! I wish they had more fan art, they’re such a cute couple.

nOTP

I understand why people ship Shuake. I do not understand how people can say they’re “basically canon.” They’re not. Also, a lot of Shuake content I see portrays Ren as this super fluffy, sensitive, sweet catboy which is weird and so far from who he is. I think he’s portrayed this way to be a contrast to Akechi. I don’t think you should change a character’s personality just to fit your ship better or to create the ship dynamic that you want. Not all content is like this, but I’ve seen a lot of it. Also, also, Ren caring about his friend’s death doesn’t automatically equal romance. Of course, he was sad that Akechi died. They’re friends. Speaking of, Ren’s dream reality wish wasn’t for Akechi to be alive. People who are currently rejecting dream reality don’t get their wishes. We know this because the wishes of everyone else in the party disappeared when they started rejecting it. We also know that Ren’s wish was to stay in Tokyo forever (which you find out if you accept dream reality). Maruki said he brought Akechi back because he thought it was tragic. He never said Ren wished for it. Even if Ren did wish for it, that wouldn’t automatically equal romance. If my friend died, I would want them to be alive too. I know a lot of Shuake shippers are really defensive of their ship, so if you have the urge to argue with me, please don’t. I don’t have the time or energy to talk in-depth about their relationship.

Random Headcanon

Ren has a light country accent. In the stage play, Ryuji makes fun of the way he says a certain word at the ramen shop. In a manga, a stranger calls him “an idiotic country bumpkin.” The only way that stranger could have known Ren was from the country would be his accent.

Ren’s scared of heights. This is actually implied in the game, but not a lot of people know about it. When he goes to Tokyo Tower with Sumire, two of his responses are “You don’t mind heights?” And “B-But if we fall...” When he goes there with Takemi, he says his ears feel weird and his heart is pounding. She then asks if he’s scared of heights. If you choose to train, Morgana will tell Ren to stand on a chair and one of his dialogue options is, “I’m not good with heights.” He looks miserable on the roller coaster in the animation. At Dometown, Ryuji says he’ll protect Ren on the roller coaster and starts teasing him saying “you better not cry on it.” When asked if he would rather go to Hawaii or LA, Ren can say Leblanc. Ann will then ask if Ren is scared of airplanes.

He is not athletic. Like not in the slightest. Ryuji, Sumire, Takemi, and Kawakami all point this out. In the manga, Ren says he was late due to his “poor physical condition.”  Sumire never tells him “good job” after training, she always says “good effort.” In a manga, Yusuke said he wanted to capture suffering then asked Ren to exercise. In Dancing, Ren thinks this while in Makoto’s room, “The weights are labeled 4K...Almost nine pounds. Really!?” While in Akihabara, Ryuji says the exercise machines are really expensive. If the player chooses to say he wants one, Ryuji says even if Ren could afford one, he won’t use it and it’ll just collect dust. Ryuji also tells Ren, “You gotta be more active.” After Takemi says a lot of students have been getting injured due to sports she says, “Well, I guess a kid like you doesn’t have much to worry about that...”

His glasses are real. I know it’s confirmed that his glasses are fake, but I really don’t like that concept. Most people don’t wear glasses, so they won’t help him “blend in.” They’d do the opposite- if they did anything at all. And that “intense gaze” thing doesn’t make much sense either. Have you seen his portraits? His facial expressions hardly change, and he has so much hair you can barely even see his eyes. I also just dislike the “intense gaze” trope in general. I like having a character with glasses who isn’t a nerd, genius, or old. Your eyesight has no impact on your personality, so Ren - who is also the main character btw - needing glasses would be cool.

Since he wears a lot of black and is always with Morgana, he probably has cat hair all over him.

He doesn’t have a big stomach/appetite. He tends to react judgmentally to how much Sumire, Ryuji, and Ann eat. When he was asking around Yongen-Jaya to see if anyone knew Futaba, a man asked if Ren eats a lot, and after you respond the man says “you don’t eat a lot?”

Ren’s a picky eater. Makoto asks Ren if he’s an adventurous eater and his dialogue options are basically no. He says, “yeah, sometimes”, “not really”, and “it depends.” When Jose asks if your tastebuds change as you get older, both of Ren’s responses are no which makes me think he won’t try anything he disliked once, even if it was years ago.

Since he’s from a small town, Ren gets lost a lot. There’s actually a manga where he texts Ann, “I’m lost. Send help.” Ann asks if he’s bad with directions, and he - distressed- says “No...Tokyo just takes a little getting used too...”

Ren’s late pretty often.

Since he’s from a small town, he’s a slower walker than some of the other characters.

He’s terrible with names. He asks for Kamoshida’s name three times, when Kawakami says Niijima wants to speak with you he has the option to ask who that is, the dialogue options for telling Ryuji Mishima’s name, the text bubble never changes from principal and Haru’s fiancé even though the player knows their names, he forgets Arsene’s name in a manga strip, he forgets Eiko’s name, and in Q2 one of his dialogue options is there’s too many names.

Unpopular Opinion

I’ve seen a lot of people complain that Ren didn’t seem to have PTSD after everything that happened in the interrogation room. I’ve also read things like, “There’s no way he doesn’t have PTSD.” That’s not how PTSD works. PTSD doesn’t care what you think “should” or “should not” happen. Traumatic events can trigger PTSD; however, not everyone emerges from trauma with it. Headcanon all you want, but saying it’s wrong that the game didn’t give him PTSD isn’t right.

Song I Associate With Them

Criminal by Brittany Spears

Wildcard by KSHMR

Good Kid from The Lightning Thief the Musical

Make It Up by Sam Tsui (this song also gives me major Percy Jackson vibes)

Still Feel. by Half•Alive

Favorite Picture of Them

I have two!

[mianmiansimp]

mdzs au: the one with wen xu (pt 1)

>>wwx has his bisexual epiphany much sooner in life bc Reasons

>>so when he starts crushing on lwj Immediately at cr, he knows it too

>>anyway: sometime pre-cloud recesses, wx and wwx cross paths and wwx is being his usual mischievous self

>>he's very dramatic and flirty and running around on roofs

>>wx is like Hey You're Cute but doesn't catch his name

>>wwx is oblivious so he didn't know who wx was lol

>>they cross paths a few more times

>>wwx just knows wx as 'that one gongzi i see sometimes'

>>then cr happens and they meet again when wwx is heading back to cr with his alcohol

>>wx is like my how charming

>>the next morning the wens show up and wc pisses everyone off

>>and then wwx is telling him off and wc gets pissed and tries to fight wwx while also insulting his status

>>and jc is like EXCUSE YOU and draws his sword bc i'm a sucker for protective jc and will throw in as much yunmeng shuangjie as i want

>>but then wx shows up and tells off wc (bc of wwx) and tells everyone to calm down

>>wx learns wwx's name, wwx learns who 'that one gongzi i see sometimes' is, only one of them is happy with the revelation

>>wx is being weird and oily to everyone and the lans begrudgingly accept the 'apology'

>>wx is publicly weird to wwx, wwx is publicly uncomfy, jc is publicly offended and pissed and defensive and also has an inkling of where wx's head is at

>>cue jc aggressively glaring at wens and shielding wwx from them

>>nhs, who's more aware of what's happening than anyone else bc nhs, helps

>>doesn't stop wwx from adopting wn as a bestie but wn is a kitten so it's ok

>>cr arc is largely the same, wangxian shenanigans, yunmeng shuangjie shenanigans, alcohol shenanigans, you know the drill

>>except for two major things

>>one - wwx has been crushing on lwj since day one but he Knows it

>>and he gets sad sometimes when lwj rejects him

>>so jc is not only angry at the wens but he's angry at lwj's audacity too

>>lwj, who hasn't a clue about anything:

>>two - wx sometimes shows up randomly to 'check up'

>>he isn't, he just drops by to make wwx uncomfy via unsolicited gifts and flirting

>>jc usually passive aggressively intervenes

>>or nhs makes some excuse that is usually 'jc wants to see you'

>>there's an incident during a wx visit where wwx panics bc he really doesn't want to deal with him

>>and essentially bolts from the vicinity and runs right into lwj

>>lwj almost starts telling off wwx but he sees quite clearly that wwx is Not Ok

>>and then they hear wx approaching and wwx basically begs lwj to Get Him Out

>>lwj dislikes wx far more than he dislikes acknowledging his affections for wwx

>>so they quickly run into and hide in a room

>>cue bonding moment where lwj and wwx have a Talk and lwj says they're friends for the first time

>>and then immediately goes silent bc wwx is looking at him with complete adoration and he has to force himself not to kiss him lol

>>this is also the point where lwj has it confirmed that wwx very much does not like wx's presence

>>which is how lwj joins the defend wwx against wx's advances club

>>jc isn't happy about it bc wwx is mooning for lwj still but he lets it slide

>>wn actually joined the club accidentally and discretely

>>jc's like why couldn't wwx get This wen to crush on him i like him so much better???

>>lwj vinegar moment + flustered wn who just thinks wwx is really cool and nice

>>wq catches wind of what's going on and is worried about wn's involvement

>>but also greatly dislikes wx and doesn't want some random innocent boy to suffer

>>which is how she too accidentally joins the club

>>mianmian joins too but loudly bc she's friends with wwx and lwj and also wx sucks

>>jzx is friends with mianmian so he gets dragged in

>>and he might be an arrogant prat atm but he's not a bad guy and wx's behavior is very despicable

>>jzx has some um Revelations about himself and his family

>>and accidentally becomes an honorary member of the club

>>they're all kinda friends now, it truly sucks, thinks jzx with a small smile

>>xuanli engagement is not broken/salvaged much earlier on bc of this whole

thing

>>anyway that's how all the major sects' youth became so closely entwined

>>lqr was very proud that his lectures enacted firm inter sect relationships

>>lxc is just egging on wangxian while also becoming an honorary member of the club

>>waterborne abyss and stuff still happens

>>jc is even angrier at the wens and straight up completely hides wwx the next time wx comes around so he doesn't even catch a glimpse

>>wx is not happy, especially when lwj is silently passive aggressive the whole time

>>cr study ends, there's this whole lingering wangxian moment when they say their goodbyes

>>wwx and lwj are close now but also lwj can sort of admit it instead of shoving it under years of repression and gay panic

>>lwj agrees to visit at lotus pier and wwx looks so enamored that jc gags and drags him away

>>mianmian snickers and pokes lwj in jest, who actually pokes her back

>>lxc is so proud, his brother has Friends

>>wx is a bit more careful around lotus pier, but he does visit once

>>jfm greets him and is very polite but yzy is very blunt and pissed

>>jc upon getting home had immediately spilled all the info on the wx thing

>>yzy doesn't like wwx but she hates the main wen and wx was being vv disrespectful

>>so she kinda tells wx that wwx isn't here (not a lie, he's on a nighthunt) and that he can go jump a cliff now thanks

>>wx is rather irritated when he leaves

>>comes back again on a later date, but this is the day that the cr friends are all hanging out

>>which isn't really an issue bc wwx is a social butterfly, it's part of what wx likes about him, obviously he has friends

>>but he sees the way wwx looks at lwj, and happens upon a moment where they're alone

>>he is Not Happy

>>in the meanwhile the cr friends are all chilling together and making fun of jzx flustering around jyl and eating lotus pods and whatever

>>yzy for once is like not overcome with irrational rage at wwx's presence bc he did something right for once in her eyes

>>so wwx gets some peace of mind at lotus pier

>>madam jin is also very delighted at the xuanli progress and approves wwx for enacting it

>>no one outside of jiangs + cr know why exactly xuanli are doing so well

>>so madam jin assumes wwx just kinda did some wingman stuff and doesn't know about the wx thing

>>anyway, wangxian is progressing quite nicely, and jc is all the more miserable for it

>>jzx kinda doesn't care lol, the rest of the club are delighted by the entertainment, yzy is further not angry at wwx bc wangxian engagement = lan-jiang alliance = advantageous

>>fast forward and we're at the discussion conference

>>jc is scowlier than usual and is literally holding wwx's hand the whole time

>>and wwx is like bro ty and ily but also this is a bit much

>>jc eventually lets go of his hand but he is never more than a few inches away from wwx's side

>>the state of wangxian at this time means we have wangxian blatantly and publicly mooning and everyone's like :eyes:

>>wx is not happy, shows up and immediately starts seeking out wwx, everyone is uncomfy

>>jc at one point grabs wwx and shoves him into the middle of all the jiang disciples

>>kinda doing that zebra camouflage thing but with jiang disciples lol

>>whenever it looks like wx is gonna ask him about wwx he crosses his arms and scowls severely

>>wx takes his seat very unhappily and the discussion conference proceeds as normal ig

>>but the friends are all taking part in the hunt together

>>wwx and lwj have a lil competition for who snags the most shots

>>lots of flirting during the competition, much to jzx and jc's chagrin

>>wn is just :pleading_face: the whole time but he does excellently and gives everyone a run for their money

>>the wc thing goes a lil differently in that wc is more incensed about wwx's existence bc he knows wx likes wwx

>>targets wwx, it backfired bc of lwj, wc leaves in a huff

>>lwj closely attaches himself to wwx after that, jc is pissed bc that's 2 wens who are making problems about wwx

>>the ribbon incident goes a lil differently

>>it happens after the competition, in front of all the sects

>>wx basically

goes oh your ribbon is crooked and fixes it gently and smiles at lwj and lwj says nothing, just quietly nods and thanks him

>>lqr approaches qi deviation, the sects are shocked, wwx is oblivious, lwj is smug, lxc and the friends are all metaphorically eating popcorn, wx is mad, wrh doesn't care, wq is worried bc wx

>>wx actually corners wwx at one point during a banquet when wwx's alone

>>interestingly, it's jzx who steps in to save the day

>>wwx doesn't need saving tbh but there's sociopolitics to consider + he's a lil scared of wx's persistence tbh

>>and he has a crisis bc on the one hand wwx can just run his mouth and hope for the best except he realizes that wx Likes when he runs his mouth

>>so yea jzx steps in and says something about jyl and wwx is like ahaha duty calls again and yeets

>>jzx just says compliments about jyl as they walk back to the jiang under the pretense of wanting to discuss the engagement

>>wwx reluctantly decides he's ok

>>the jiang keep a firm grip on wwx for the rest of the conference after that

>>jyl uses the shijie card to her advantage to get away with dragging wwx with her everywhere

>>the conference ends and wwx is relieved

>>oh btw wwx placed first by a small margin, lwj and wn following, then jc and jzx tied

>>so the sects are leaving and ofc wwx has to say goodbye to lwj

>>and lwj is like what is your request bc you won

>>and wwx is almost like kiss me but then he Doesn't ok

>>so instead wwx is like lemme think of something interesting :wink: to cover his pining

>>and lwj says mn and Smiles at him and wwx melts on the spot

>>wx catches the interaction and is very unhappy

>>fast forward to the burning of cr

>>there's a reason why wx did it personally, and targeted lwj especially

>>fast forward a bit again, wwx is a lil mopey bc his letter from lwj should've come a few days ago

>>they're pining pen pals bc ofc they are smh :rolling_eyes:

>>at this point, news of cr's destruction hasn't spread to lotus pier yet

>>jc is annoyed and yeets him into the lake and makes him swim off the pining

>>cue yunmeng jiang lake shenanigans

>>and then mf wx shows up to personally deliver the invitation to the wen indoctrination

>>jfm and yzy simply Do Not acknowledge wwx's existence at lotus pier in front of him

>>it's a very tense but quick conversation

>>and then wx leaves and hears wwx and heads in the direction of the latter's voice

>>he gets to the lake to see the jiang disciple swimming in the lake, but no wwx

>>bc jyl knew he had come and quickly run over to the lake to warn and hide wwx

>>jc perched himself on a roof to watch wx and let them know when he was gone

>>that meal they had in cql? yea it goes differently this time around

>>it's mostly yzy hissing at the wens and also having a conundrum over whether or not wwx should go

>>jc votes no, wwx votes shut up jc i'm coming with you

>>jfm concedes, jc is irate, wwx and jc go to the indoctrination

>>but jc makes wwx promise to not ever leave his side

>>and wwx is like that's kinda the whole point?? but ok

>>and then ofc that whole opening scene at nightless city happens

>>what with them standing around and then bam an injured lwj

>>ft the cr friends being all fhkjhkjsghk (/neg) internally

>>except wwx, he's very open about his concern

>>wc shows up, spends half the time glaring at wwx

>>he was supposed to be make it hell for lwj

>>but quite frankly he'd be happy if lwj snatched wwx

>>he very much dislikes his brother's infatuation with wwx

>>so yea it's roughly the same, those first few days

>>except wn secretly visits the disciples

>>slips snacks, gives info, exchanges messages between them, and treats lwj

>>wq finds out, scolds him, and then does the same, mostly treatment

>>and then the dungeon day comes

>>by which i mean that day wwx ended up in the dungeons with the dog thing

>>it goes the same as usual, except wc is particularly harsh, and is focused on wwx

>>so it happens sooner, and only wwx is involved

>>spends the night with the wolf thing, wn comes, yk the drill

>>except he knocks out at one point and wx gets him

>>and he wakes up

in a room and wq and wn are treating him

>>he's quickly given a coded warning

>>and then wx comes

>>wc had been forced out of leading the indoctrination and someone relatively competent is in his place

>>wx doesn't really let wwx go back tho

>>just makes wwx stay with him and basically invades his privacy and harasses him

>>for like. quite some time.

>>wwx also meets wrh a few times and it is. not fun.

>>wrh makes thinly veiled threats about war and attacking lotus pier and stuff

>>and wx reveals he was the one who requested and took charge of cr burning

>>and wwx is angry at wx but then wx gets angry and snaps threats

>>and wwx quiets and realizes wx is relentless

>>and that his connections are putting ppl he cares about at risk

>>it all kinda piles up and wx's insistence gets to his head

>>and then the bell scene (which started all this) happens

>>it might seem kinda ooc this whole thing but like

>>sexual trauma is very different from standard child abuse/classic asian toxicity

>>and you have to consider wwx's position as he has to put up with wx's everything

>>am i projecting? probably, but my au my choices

>>so the bell scene begins with all the heirs and their entourages gathered at that. place

>>idk what it's called but that place from cql where wc was lecturing

>>wc's substitute indoctrinator is like so. y'all can go home now. here's your swords.

>>and everyone's like omg????? but also cr friends are like ok where's wwx :upside_down:

>>and it's a very complicated moment

>>and then they give suibian to jc

>>and he almost kills someone bc he thinks they killed wwx

>>and then they're like no he's alive he just won't need that :upside_down:

>>jc is like WHAT does that even MEAN

>>and it's about to be a whole thing but then wwx shows up

>>and it's all ok for half a second

>>bc yes he's here but he is very obviously not ok

>>and it Shows, wwx is doing such a bad job hiding how not ok he is

>>cr friends are like. what did they do. who am i killing.

>>so now we enter - The Bell Exchange

>>wwx comes forward and (very poorly) tries to lighten the mood and tease jc and is like aw did you miss me

>>jc who was very much terrified is just like yes ofc come here Now let's go home

>>and wwx has this look on his face that's summed up as love and affection but also deep apology and secrecy

>>he slowly goes to jc and his hands are shaky as he takes off his bell and grabs jc's hands to give it to him

>>and wwx is very vague about it he's just like i won't be going back it's ok you're all free to go now i'm making sure of it go back home be safe

>>and jc is having the nth meltdown rn bc wwx what did you do

>>nhs has an idea of the gist, and all the c friends are very concerned

>>and then wen xu shows up and wwx does this silent flinch but in his bones and straightens up

>>and wx is mocking the others and stuff and then wraps an arm around a very uncomfortable wwx and is like

>>"you should be grateful to my fiance for his generous nature"

>>wwx is very obviously not having a good time and is not ok with this

>>he looks like he's going to launch himself from a cliff (hehehe) to avoid this

>>everyone is silent for a minute as they realize what happened

>>a lot of the disciples here were at cr indoctrination

>>so they know at least somewhat of wx's pursual of wwx and the unrequited feelings

>>and it becomes obvious that wwx exchanged something - his freedom, hand in marriage, etc - to set all the disciples free

>>jc draws sandu and is about to go for wx's head bc how Dare he

>>but wwx stops him and tells him very firmly but desperately to not try anything, just go, tell shijie i'm sorry, it'll be ok

>>lwj does that death grip on his sword, 2 seconds away from taking wx's head himself

>>jzx is having lots of feelings about this and a lot aren't nice

>>especially with the weird sort of parallels as far as betrothals

>>also he kinda likes wwx?? they're kinda friends?? and they're brother-in-laws to be anyway

>>and even despite all that, the whole situation just Sucks and jzx is kinda an airhead but he's actually pretty noble

>>mianmian is

like So offended and enraged on behalf of everyone she's ready to throw hands

>>nhs is half horrified for his friend and half cold rage and plotting

>>what really worsens the situations is just how bad wwx is taking it

>>bc he always covers up his pain and worries, and very well at that

>>the fact that he can barely even fake a smile now, and has resolved to outright desperate pleading, not even teasing anyone, says a Lot about how bad things were while he was gone

>>they have suspicions about what wx might have done to wwx while they were alone

>>tl;dr: cr friends kinda have an idea of what wx has done and really want him dead

>>but wwx is forcing them out, and eventually they all do leave, miserably

>>they don't know what had happened for them to be let go with their swords and without consequences

>>and they don't want wwx suffering for their (not really helpful atm) stubbornness

>>jc is stiff and clenching his jaw the entire way home, trying to figure out ways to get wwx out

>>lwj is drowning in his emotions as he goes back to the burnt cr

>>mianmian, jzx, nhs are having very complicated thought processes about everything

>>nhs actually goes with lwj to cr first, to make sure he doesn't do anything dumb and to be a friend

>>drops him off, and eventually heads out after a few days (lqr is appraised of the situation)

>>and lo and behold, he happens to find lxc on his way home, and brings big bro lan back to cr

[ main . ao3 ]

[tickle-bugs]

I had two people ask for some advice on starting up/running a blog, so I thought I’d make a little post for anyone else looking for advice! There’s no one right way to run a blog and I am by no means an expert. This is just a compilation of some of the things I’ve learned :) 

Feel free to add advice to this!

- The first thing is something I cannot stress enough. Write for yourself first. You will be absolutely miserable if you’re only writing for attention. I’m not saying it’s easy, but it’s so incredibly important. If you don’t like a prompt, fandom, or scenario? You don’t have to write for it! A personal example: I’m a theatre kid and total musical nerd. I could probably write some compelling Dear Evan Hansen or Hamilton headcanons if I wanted to, but I don’t. That’s fine! I’m allowed to say I won’t write for it and deny prompts/requests for those fandoms. 

- Set boundaries. This is a very mixed community with all sorts of creators and participants with hands in different baskets. Don’t want minors to interact? Put minors DNI in your bio. SFW only? Put it in the bio. No RP? Bio. This goes for private conversations/askbox/other interactions as well. If someone comes into your askbox/dms and says something that makes you uncomfy, shut it down. 

- My advice is more geared towards writing than art or video, but I suppose you could apply this advice as well. Make what makes you happy! If you’re only in one fandom, feel free to stay there and make content for it. Multi-fandom? Excellent! Completely non-fandom? Epic! Make the content that you want to see and the content that makes you happy to create, especially if you’re in a more niche fandom/area. 

- Organization. ...I’ll admit this one is more of a personal pet peeve than something urgent, but it is something that people positively respond to. If you have some sort of consistency/organization to your blog, it’ll make it easier and more enjoyable for people to navigate. Make a fandom list/indicate your fandoms somehow (mostly for prompt purposes. people can’t read your mind, so it’s important to tell them what you will write for and what you won’t, however you want to do that)! 

Make a masterpost/link your fic tag! Use a fic tag of some kind. Give your fics summaries and leave a little bit of the fic above the ‘read more’ to intrigue folks (look at #my fics and my masterpost for basic examples of how I do this, if you need!). Use read mores. Please use read mores (if you can, idk if they’re on mobile. regardless no one wants to encounter a three thousand word block of text on their dash). (No seriously though, organize your blog, even if it’s super simple. literally just a ‘mine’ or ‘my fics’ or ‘[pseud] writes’ and a fandom tag. It’ll make it easier for people to find your stuff and support you)

- Practice general internetiquette. Please remember that the people in this community are real people with feelings, boundaries, and lives outside of the blog that they run. Be genuine and people will respond to you! Don’t manipulate people into likes/reblogs/attention. No one wants to be on the other end of that. Being in this community isn’t a transaction or a mosh pit, it’s an experience.  

- Be ever-so-liberal with the block button. Someone’s user makes you uncomfortable? They give you bad vibes? They’re a minor/older than you and you don’t want them interacting with your content? You don’t wanna see their blog for some reason? Block em. This goes for anons too. That’s what the button is for. Don’t feel guilty for using it. Use it. 

- How you write is 100% a personal choice and not really something that I can give advice on, but embrace your style! take prompts if you want, or don’t. Write oneshots, series, drabbles, or novels. Write romantic, or don’t. Etc. Change things up if you feel like it. Do what you want. Your blog, your style, your rules. 

- Numbers matter. Don’t let them define you. This is a bit of a harder one to explain, but I will try. I often say that I don’t care about numbers, and I really don’t, but that’s not to say that I don’t see them and they have zero effect on me. I absolutely notice and am bummed if a fic doesn’t get notes, or at least the notes that I was expecting. That is entirely normal and okay to experience. What isn’t okay, though, is creating for the sake of getting notes/numbers/attention (re: write for yourself first, internetiquette). If you find yourself relying on tumblr for gratification and a reward, I implore you to take a break. I’m not your therapist or your parent, I’m not gonna tell you what to do, but when you make things only for the sake of notes, people notice. Celebrate your milestones. Know that it’s okay to be bummed about low notes/celebrate getting plenty. Just make sure that you don’t depend on the numbers for your happiness, or you will be miserable.

- You’re (probably) doing this for free. You are providing people content: a service. Produce as much or as little as you’re comfy with, but always remember that. No one is entitled to what you make. If someone asks you for headcanons, sends a prompt when prompts are closed, etc, and you don’t feel like fulfilling it? You have no obligation to do that. Getting commissioned is another story entirely, but as long as you’re making free content, you have zero obligation to do anything for anyone and certainly no time constraints. It can take me months to finish prompts, and that’s okay. I do them when I do them and I fill them how I want to. If my prompts are closed, I deny new ones until I’m ready to accept them. Make yourself happy first.

- How you interact with others is up to you! It’s generally considered good practice to like/reblog your mutuals fics/art, but this is not necessarily a hard and fast rule. I veeeeeery rarely reblog fics for fandoms that I’m not in, even from my mutuals. What you can do to show your support (and you should try and show support somehow. No one is in competition. Everyone’s in your boat, whether they have no followers or 1k) is send an ask/reply to the post/leave tags to let the author know you liked it. Like the fic and don’t reblog it, if you don’t want to. Just make sure you show your mutuals (and others in general!) roughly the same support they show you, however you decide to do that. Treat others how you want to be treated, as cheesy as it sounds :)

- Don’t repost content that isn’t yours without express permission from the original creator, and credit them appropriately. If you see a cute piece of tickle art and the artist doesn’t want it reposted? Don’t repost it. Don’t post fics/videos/gifs that aren’t yours (obviously if it’s like a scene from a movie/a clip on youtube that’s different, but don’t take credit for things you didn’t make, including ideas). Can’t tell you how frustrating it is to have work stolen from you. Don’t be that person. ‘Credit to original artist’ and ‘credit unknown’ is total bullshit btw. Link/tag the creator in the original post and make it clear you don’t own the content. Best practice is to ask the original creator if they’re okay with reposting, work inspired by or connected to theirs, etc. This goes doubly for saving/downloading someone’s fics. 

- It is not illegal for a minor to have normal, nonsexual, healthy friendships with people older than them. There’s a weird attitude that minors have nothing of value to offer adults besides a relationship/sex, which is...not true? Minors are thinking, living human beings with feelings, thoughts, and opinions. You can talk to them like normal people, because they are. Just obviously don’t talk about/introduce sex or endanger them. Minors don’t bring up sex/activities you’re underage for with an adult. IDK this isn’t a seminar just...don’t be weird. Adults can offer great life experience, support systems, and the basic joys and needs of human connection. Minors can too. Mind your business unless someone’s actually in danger. The next point is a caveat, though: 

- If you’re a minor, don’t interact with NSFW blogs/blogs with ‘Minors DNI’, NSFW blogs don’t interact with minors, etc etc. Not your parent or whatever but this is pretty common sense and it’s for everyone’s safety, but especially the NSFW person. internettiquette!

- If you use your TK blog as a side blog (meaning you have another blog as your main blog, not two separate accounts) and don’t want your main exposed, that is up to you. I recommend not liking posts. Also, follow people that you trust. These actions route through your main blog and your main will show up in the notes. You can reblog from a sideblog. If you want to send an ask “as your tk blog”, send an anon and sign it somehow, like ‘hey :) // @/tickle-bugs’. It should tag you in the post so you get a notification when it’s answered!

- Find your people! As an anxious person this one has been hard for me, so I know it’s hard for a lot of people. Fandom is literally a community of shared interest. Peachy and I have an iron bond almost two years later and we met talking over shared interests. You can absolutely find your people here. If someone makes you happy, strike up a conversation! Send an ask! You never know what doors it might open or whose day you might improve :)

- If you were an anon/lurker on someone’s blog and they inspired you to write/submit/start your own, sign your messages!! the common form that I see is either an emoji or [noun/context of the ask]!anon (prodigal!anon (i miss u every day), butterfly!anon, etc.) Let us know how to find and support you!! Those messages produce good brain juice. 

- The big finale: Have fun. If you’re not having fun here, maybe you could tweak something to make things enjoyable. Running a blog is like driving a car. Keep your hands on the wheel, respectfully indicate your intentions (flashing lights optional), and be safe. Poebody’s nerfect, y’know. If you make a mistake, course correct. I’m by no means perfect. Your favs aren’t either. Just do your best and have a good time :)

@rosytickles and the anon in my inbox, I hope this helps! Thank you for asking me, I’m very honored that you value my opinon/experience/advice. I apologize if I come off as preachy or aggressive, I envisioned grabbing my younger self by the lapels and shaking me vigorously while I wrote this. Probably a bad idea. 

Anywho, hope it helps. Anyone with questions, additions, or comments, my askbox is open! Just be constructive, is all I ask. 

[luvreyn]

My Manhwa List (2020) Part 2

2020 just started but a lot has been going on, please stay healthy in these trying times. Hopefully, these manhwas would keep you entertained (like they did to me) and kept you from being too anxious & lonely.

Flirting with the Villain's Dad

Description:

Ack! I'm trapped in this webnovel, "Brigitte Wants to be Happy!" No prob, I KNOW what's gonna happen so I'll just—wait. I'm not Brigitte? I'm her aunt, Princess Yerenika?! Uh-oh. I'm stuck 20 years before the main plot... and everyone in my generation ends up tragically dead! Her parents, dead. Me, dead. Villain's dad, King Euredian, dead. A-ha! That's the key. I just need to prevent the villain from being born... time to break out some seduction schemes and flirt like my life depends on it!

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- plot = 5/5 a new favorite!

- art style = 5/5 reminds me of rae x noah art and something else

- characters are all good looking, so aesthetic!

- seriously, this is a gem

- f u n n y

- isekai-sh?

- mc is so cute!!!! 

- ml is so so handsome 

- few chaps for now but so goodd

- i’m so excited for whats in store

- read this pls so we can fangirl togetherr!

- conclusion, a very good manhwa and highly recommended!

Invitation of Mystic Messenger

Description:

The official comic adaptation of the dating-sim game phenomenon has arrived! Hana is usually a glass-half-full sort of person, but lately, nothing seems to be going her way. After yet another fruitless day of job hunting, she finds herself pouring out all her frustrations to a stranger in the street. The kind stranger disappears before they get a chance to exchange names or numbers, however, leaving behind a phone with nothing but a single messenger app. “Can you read this message…?” As soon as Hana logs on, username “Unknown” tells her they know the person she is looking for. Although a little suspicious, she is intrigued. Who was the stranger that lent her a shoulder to cry on? Who is this “Unknown” she is chatting with? To find the answers to her questions, she must first accept a mysterious invitation. Time to get reacquainted with Jumin, 707, Zen, Yoosung, Jaehee and the rest of Mystic Messenger!

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- ohmyghad

- plot = ?/5 it only has the prologue but i have great expectations bcoz this is base on a game by the same name (if u dont know it then its ok cause i havent played it either lmao)

- artstyle = 5/5 they look so gooood!

- this has great potential & i’m looking forward to how they’ll incorporate it!

- conclusion, april 12th cant come fast enough! i wanna read it!

Lamia Orphe is Dead

Description:

Lamia Orphe is to become the future successor of the Orphe dukedom but at 22 years of age, she suddenly decides to give up her own title. On the other hand, the 2nd Prince, Aquila Theodore Benzer, has powers that transcend beyond that of a normal human. Notorious for being cruel and merciless as the son of the "desert witch," he competes against his brother, the 1st Prince Ethan Tayler Benzer, to succeed the throne. What lies in store for Aquila and Lamia? How are their fates intertwined with the legendary dragon?

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- i cri

- plot = 6/5 because its what it deserves

- artstyle = 4.5/5 

- ml is precious ok he is!

- mc is such a precious bean for wanting to protect her little brother

- this is a gem

- i just wanna cry why do ppl do them dirty huhuhu

- pls read they’re so precious together

- ml treats her like a queen which she deserves

- in this house we dont want toxic males!

- c u t e

- ml loves her so much that its so painful

- conclusion, HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

The Villainess Turns the Hourglass

Description:

After her lowly mother married a count, Aria enjoyed a life full of luxury while harassing her gentle stepsister Mielle. Several years later, Aria is about to be executed when Mielle reveals that she wickedly tricked Aria into building the bad reputation that ultimately brought her to the scaffold. Just as Aria desparately wishes she could change her fate, she sees a curious hourglass that takes her back into the past. Now, Aria can destroy Mielle by using her own tactics against her like a true villainess. The power of the hourglass is on her side... Can Aria take everything from Mielle, or will her actions change the past in ways she couldn't have imagined? Based on the hit novel.

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- plot = 5/5 

- artstyle = 3.5/5

- a villain that acts like a villain? check

- f u n n y

- i love manipulative mc (its aria btw)

- aria’s plot and schemes to get back at her backstabbing sister is entertaining

- promising &  full of potential

- cant say much bout ml cause he hasnt made much appearance yet

- interesting concept!!

- conclusion, a new fav!

This Witch of Mine

Description:

In these times, if you're too good or bad at something or simply too beautiful, you're called a witch. The truth is deeper than everyone realizes. Up against dark intentions, an outcast young boy and a mysterious witch will need more than just magic spells and incantations; they’ll need each other.

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- why u do this to me author sunbae!

- seriously i just wanna cry after i read this 

- plot = 10/5 because thats what it deserves

- artstyle = 4.5/5 kinda reminds me of lamia orphe’s art style

- a gem

- personal favorite

- i cri

- a rollercoaster ride!

- all characters are lovable & humane

- spoiler: “youre miserable because you love me more than you love them”

- OHMYGHAD

- i love all the male lead & mc ok

- male leads (bcoz they’re many) treats my girls so well i just wanna

- a touching story about love & friendship

- i think this often overlook but READ THIS

- conclusion, a super duper highly recommended series that touches you!

[adamarks]

simon snow has fucking dragon powers or some shit and this is my goddamn proof

Whilst you people were having a meltdown over Baz and Simon not hashing it out (Simon’s not in a place of understanding his self worth enough for that yet.), I was having a meltdown about Simon Snow The Literal Fucking Dragon. 

Now, this is obviously going to have major spoilers for Wayward Son. I’m going to assume you’ve read it if you’re reading this. I’ve put a lot of thought into this theory and this is a long ass post so I’m putting it under the cut. Now. Let’s go, lesbians!

First and foremost, let’s start with the wings and tail. 

Simon’s wings are established at the very beginning of Wayward Son to represent something. We don’t really get to quite know what that something is until they start referring to Simon’s wings the same way they used to refer to his magic. 

The most direct reference to Simon’s wings symbolizing his magic is in Simon’s section of the prologue at the very end of the book:

“It’s time for me to stop pretending I’m some sort of superhero. I was that-- I really was-- but I’m not anymore. I don’t belong in the same world as sorcerers and vampires. That’s not my story.

Dr. Wellbelove said he could remove the wings. And the tail. Whenever I’m ready. I could go back to school then, or get a job...”

This section directly confirms that yes, these wings are a metaphor for Simon’s magic. They’re all he has left connect him to the world of magic. They’re the only thing still making him feel even remotely on the same level as Baz and Penelope. (This book really was all about the concept of self-worth and how completely lacking it affects not only us but those we love. Phew, talk about a doozy. No wonder we’re all crying.)

Now that we’ve established that Simon’s wings, at the very least, are his one tether to magic, let’s drive the nail into the coffin of the wings and tail being absolutely, 100% symbolic of his magic. 

As I mentioned earlier, the book starts treating the wings exactly the same as it treated his magic. This even starts before Wayward Son. The first mention of Simon’s emotions relating to his wings and tail is in the first book. In the epilogue, in Baz’s section, during the dance scene. 

“His tail whips out of my hand. It tends to slash around when he’s upset.”

This really starts to come out in the last fourth of Wayward when he’s “itching for a fight.”

His wings constantly poke, prod, and generally annoy Baz and Penny because he refuses to put them away. Almost.... like... how his magic..... felt suffocating.... and too much... and he couldn’t push it back... or tamp it down. *cough*

Okay, so that was all pretty basic, boring, base-building stuff, yeah?  Pretty “whatever we get it.” 

Well, here’s where it starts to get fun. 

Let’s talk about Simon’s Mirrors.

Lemme just explain what the hell a mirror is, first. In case we all flunked our high school Lit classes. 

A mirror character is, in simple terms, a character that acts, looks like, or reminds you of one of the main characters. Through these “mirror characters” some important information about the main character is revealed to us subtextually. 

Let’s name our Simon mirrors:

Ebb 

Agatha (she’s being developed as her own character but that’s not stopping her from mirroring our good lad.)

Aunt Fiona (to some extent anyway. she doesn’t really factor here.) 

There might be some minor ones I’m forgetting (I’m not including foils) but these are our main guys. 

I put Ebb on the list first, but let’s start with Agatha, the cranky heroine of our dreams. 

Throughout the whole first book, Agatha is shown to be Simon’s mirror. Them both mooning over Baz in almost the exact same way. (Jesus Christ they’re embarrassing to watch.) The waiting on rooftops, the handkerchief. (Don’t get me started on Simon carrying around Baz’s scarf in Wayward. I’m soft and everything hurts. Our poor, stupid, stupid boys.) It’s not exactly subtle. 

In Carry On, Agatha reveals just how much Simon also resents his fate. He never really expresses it, but Agatha is reflecting to us how he’s feeling. They both get progressively less resigned to the bullshit “Chosen One” fate as the book goes on. They both make it out alive. Maybe everything will be okay. 

But then Rainbow rolls up with a Sex On The Beach and Gucci sunglasses to tell us that “fuck no everything’s not okay.” (She’s right. God, I could go on a rant about how no one ever talks about how you feel when you’ve defeated the villain. When you’ve escaped the dungeon. Hhhhh)

Wayward Son immediately sets Agatha up as even more of a mirror than she was in the first book. We’re shown right away that the two of them are both in a depressed funk. They’re both at “15%” and miserable. These two are echoing each other like NEVER before and I am LIVING for it. 

Like, we even get this amazing bit in Chapter Four:

“That would feel like an answer to... the question of me. Then I could say, ‘Oh, that’s who I am. That’s why I’ve been so confused.’”

They! Are! Struggling!

Now, how does this relate to Simon having literal fucking dragon powers? Good question, thank you for asking. 

In Chapter Fifty-Six, when Pen and Agatha are stuck in the back of Fuckwad Vampire #3′s car, Agatha says this:

“I honestly thought I could walk away from it all-- like magic was a place. Like magic was a person. Or a habit I could break.

When Simon first came to Watford, he couldn’t make his wand work. He could barely cast a spell. He thought they were going to kick him out, that he wasn’t magic enough. 

“You don’t do magic,” Penelope told him. “You are magic.”

I... am magic. 

Whether I like it or not, whether or not I claim it. Whether or not I carry my wand. 

It’s in me, somehow. Blood, water, bone.”

They!! Are!! Both!! Magic!! 

Magic is in them! Magic is with them! They’re made of the stuff! They can’t cut off this part of them, no matter how much they want to. (lmao. talk about good old internalized homophobia. I don’t really have an opinion on what Agatha’s sexuality is, btw. I’m using homophobia as a blanket term because I have no clue what’s up on that front.)

Simon is made of magic. He doesn’t want to remove his wings. Even though he has to hide them. Even though he thinks he’s a Normal now. Like Penny said, “an aeroplane is still an aeroplane even if it’s on the ground.” (I’m not sure that’s verbatim, apologies.)

Simon still has magic. We just can’t see it. He’s made of magic. He is magic. He was literally conceived during a spell. Bitch is as magical as you can get. 

But where is the magic???? Where’d it go???? Hello????

I’m getting there. I promise. First, we need to talk about Ebb. 

Ebb wasn’t only Simon’s weird Aunt figure; she was his mirror. Ebb was what would’ve happened to Simon if he hadn’t rejected the mage at the end of Carry On. Ebb just gave in. She didn’t want to fight anymore, and she figured Shithead The Great knew more than she did. 

God I just fucking hate Mage so much like holy shit. Anyway, anyway. 

Ebb was the strongest magician next to Simon. She didn’t want to fight. She didn’t want to use her magic for any great purpose. She just wanted to be. Agatha even reiterates this in the epilogue of Carry On.

 “Like, they couldn’t just let her be.”

(No, Simon doesn’t miss killing things in Wayward. He misses excitement and having a purpose. He mainly misses having a purpose. Not having one of those fucking sucks.)

What the fuck does Ebb have to do with this? Why can’t I just get to the point?

My point is!

My Point IS!

That goddamn dragon with the sheep was supposed to remind you of Ebb.

So, let’s do the math. If 1=1x1= 1 then...

Ebb = Margaret = Simon

Sure, sure we had Simon screeching that he wasn’t a dragon. But Margaret was immediately like, 

“Not yet.” She pets his wing. “Are kitten. Someday dragon. Someday ferocious.”

Simon smells like a dragon, but also apparently “smells like iron.” Whatever the fuck that means. I mean I guess it means that Baz could still sippy sippy. (Which is gonna happen or I’ll eat my own toe.) 

One more thing: 

“I wanted wings,” he says. “I wanted to fly.”

“Why tail?”

“I wanted to be free!”

Gee, that sure sounds like what Agatha was saying earlier, huh?

YEAH OKAY HE’S HALF DRAGON!! WE’VE ESTABLISHED THAT!!! WHAT THE FUCK AM I ON ABOUT!!!!

Omg thank you for asking. I’m going to blow your mind with my final point. 

The Final Point: The Baz Problem.

Wayward Son is, by all accounts, Baz’s book. It develops everyone beautifully and everyone has an arc, but this book is where Baz gets to shine. 

We found out in this book that vampires are immortal.

This introduced a whole new issue, an issue that surfaces every time immortality is introduced as a possibility for one character but not the rest. 

Someday, Baz will be left alone.

He’ll inevitably outlive everyone he cares about. We all know our poor, beautiful, delicate bastard boy couldn’t take it. How deeply he cares is his most beautiful and wonderful trait, and this could break him. 

I wonder, how long does a dragon live?

Penny talks about the improbability of Simon and Baz in Chapter Three. 

“Star-cross’d lovers. ‘From forth the fatal loins of these two foes.’ The whole shebang.”

Simon’s magic was always described as smoke and fire. The first creature we learn about Simon fighting was a dragon. (Chapter 1, first page of Carry On)

“You’ve slain a dragon, Simon. Surely you can manage a long walk and a few buses.”

 God, I just really hate Bitchface the Mage. Anywho.

Simon. The One Who Came to End Us. Simon. The One To Save Us All. Simon is the dragon and the knight. He’s his own worst enemy. His arc will be completed once he accepts the “dragon” part of himself. It’s poetic as fuck, I must admit. 

Simon has to find love and care for himself, and then this baby dragon will be grown. He’ll be “on top” as Margaret had said. (God, could you imagine all the dragons waking up? How fucking epic would THAT be? Fingers crossed.)

The monster that drains living things and the monster that burns all in its wake. These losers are starcrossed, but they complete each other. Dumbasses. I just love them so much why can’t they get their shit together. 

Simon and Baz’s storylines are utterly intertwined. They’re perfectly matched. Simon might not know it, but their hearts are already tied together; they beat in sync. They’re two stars orbiting each other. And, if we’re all very lucky, maybe they won’t crash. Maybe this story won’t end in flames. 

So, in conclusion, I really really really want Simon to breathe fire. The only other way I could see this twisting is the wings somehow going away and Simon getting a regular-magician amount of magic. That’s kinda lame tho and doesn’t complete his arc correctly. This dumb boy is a dragon now and there’s nothing we can do about it. (EDIT: actually yeah simon’s not gonna lose his wings no way in fuck. check out my meta.)  Also? I would sell my soul to see Simon getting really possessive over really weird objects for his hoard. 

Thank you for sticking with me this far, dear reader. I’ll leave you with this thought: Baz is Donkey and Simon is the dragon from Shrek. 

Check out my other meta on the future of simon and baz’s relationship and how penny and agatha relate 

scarf meta as well check it

Gonna be tagging peeps so this can circulate better. 

@carrybits @neck-mole @watfordwallflower

[gayoperatorgunclub]

ULTIMATE SHIP MEME: MontaDoc Edition? Pretty please? Or any MontaDoc content. I crave it. Much 💕

of course!!!!!!! sorry this has taken so long, but i sincerely hope you enjoy it!!! 💝💝💝

General:

Rate the Ship -   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - for fucking EVER!!!!!! 

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - two words: mutual. pining. this period, often referred to as the “Beginning of Operation: T.E.A.M. D.A.D.S. (Temporary Employment As Masters of Dad And Dad Sweethearts)” however, unbeknownst to anybody else in rainbow, by the time Operation: T.E.A.M. D.A.D.S. had begun, gustave and gilles had already been together for a couple of years. how did they actually get together? about six months after the GIGN joined rainbow, gustave was in the middle of a mountain of paperwork when he heard someone clear their throat. he spun around to scold whoever it was for coming to medbay when they were sick (despite the fact that he was coming down with a nasty cold), only to be greeted with gilles leaning nonchalantly against the doorframe. “gustave. you look as though you’re about to meet death for dinner. how can you expect to take care of others when you’re not taking care of yourself?” gustave just sighed and shook his head, muttering something about leaving him be for another couple hours so he could finish his paperwork, but gilles has other ideas. in mere moments, gustave goes from standing over his desk, organizing some files, to being held in gilles’ big strong arms. “wh- gilles! i-” he was cut off by his own yawn, and gilles smiled at him fondly. gustave felt himself blush, and he squirmed a little, but let gilles carry him to the GIGN quarters. as soon as it seemed like gilles was going to leave, gustave pulled him down for a kiss, then pushed their foreheads together and whispered “you’re going to carry me all this way and not even stay to make sure i don’t go back to my office?” gilles just grinned at him, climbing into bed beside him and wrapping his arms around him. 

How was their first kiss? - ROMANTIQUE! and smelling of sickness but what can you do

Wedding:

Who proposed? - monty!! he decided to cook a romantic candlelit dinner at their apartment, and when he sees gustave come home from work, all ragged and exhausted, yet still with a glimmer of determination and subtle joy, he says the first thing that comes to mind: “will you marry me?” gustave froze, his cheeks still rosy and his hair sprinkled with snowflakes. “will i what?” gilles realized his mistake and flushed, stammering a response before gustave was standing in front of him, staring at him scrutinizingly. “gilles.” he started, reaching to intertwine their hands, bring them between their chests, “what did you say?” gilles gulped, then steeled himself and got down on one knee. “gustave kateb. love of my life, light of my days. the man i want to wake up next to every day for the rest of my life. the man who i adore with every fiber of my being. would you do me the honor of being my husband?” 

Who is the best man/men? - for monty: bandit! for doc: lion (everyone but them thought it was a joke until the day of the wedding). dominic and olivier’s dual best man speech is the stuff of legends. there were tears, there was laughter, and there was an almost excessive amount of thinly-veiled sexual innuendos at various people in attendance (including both grooms; the best men were both drunk of their asses) 

Who is the bride’s maid(s)? - they actually fight over who gets to pick twitch! meanwhile rook is in the background like D: (don’t worry, it’s decided that he and twitch will be ring bearer and flower girl respectively) for monty: dokkaebi. for doc: finka 

Who did the most planning? - they both did! though gustave focused on food and flowers, and gilles focused on the guest list and the venue (but they ran things by each other before any final decisions were made)

Who stressed the most? - gilles! he was so worried about their families not getting along that he actually prepared a “leave my husband and his family alone or so help me i will never speak to you again” speech

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - gilles’ racist, homophobic, french nationalist uncle (no one in the family likes him, so it wasn’t a big loss) (this uncle also made a surprise appearance at the family dinner where gilles introduced gustave to the rest of his family, and started yelling about “godamn immigrants” and other such bigotted statements, before gilles’ sister physically dragged him out of the house and threw him out the door. afterwards, up in the guest bedroom, gilles quietly tells gustave that it’s okay if he wants to leave, or break up, or anything, and gustave just laughs and tells him that if he wasn’t prepared for family members to express their distaste, he wouldn’t be dating a white man. he pressed a kiss to gilles’ temple, before whispering “although, he was right about my being an immigrant; it’s just that i was born in Paris and immigrated with my family to algeria, not the other way around. A for effort, though”)

Sex:

Who is on top? - gilles!!!! although gustave will occassionally ride him 👀👀👀

Who is the one to instigate things? - gustave is lowkey horny 24/7, but if gilles walks in on him bending over to get something from a cabinet, or tilting his head all the way back while drinking from his water bottle, thereby showcasing the way his throat moves as he swallows, he will lose his shit 

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - okay i’m gonna change this one to an explanation of some things from below. i personally think doc lowkey a freak, and gilles is happy to oblige him if that’s what his lapin wants (although he’s not entirely sure how he feels about this “overstimulation” and “post-orgasm torture” and “cock & ball torture” stuff. specifically, he’s not sure he likes hurting gustave, but, while he probably won’t admit it out loud, he secretly adores making gustave cry. when he’s so helpless and powerless and mindless, and he’s begging for something, but for what he doesn’t really know. maybe it’s the knowledge that gilles is in complete control, that gustave trusts him to do this, to make him hurt and cry and just melt, the knowlege that gustave is completely reliant on him for his pleasure, his pain, and everything in between. it’s a heady thing, and gilles isn’t sure how he feels about it, but he’s pretty sure the warmth in his chest and the warmth in his gut are good signs 

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - unless they’re doing some of the things mentioned above, or mayhaps some denial 👀👀👀 then yeah, everyone gets the same. they’re very considerate when they’re just doing vanilla 

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children: btw, the rest of this is kinda set in a post-retirement au (idrk i just want them to have a farm and be peaceful). give it whatever context u want tho, i was just havin fun

How many children will they have? - they will have four cats and a dog, as well as 2 horses, a donkey, 5 cows, an alpaca, a rabbit, some ducks, a flock of sheep and goats, and the occasional visit from a herd of deer from the forest surrounding their little farm

How many children will they adopt? - since humans CANNOT, i repeat, CANNOT, give birth to the animals listed above, they’re all adopted

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - no one. the animals potty train themselves

Who is the stricter parent? - gilles sneaks them treats while gustave lectures them about dietary habits, so take your pick 

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - whenever gilles leaves to run errands, one of the goats goes into a depression so deep and miserable that they’re utterly inconsolable until he comes back. once they hear the sound of the car in the driveway, this lil goat, lovingly named “Bastard” by gustave, will climb onto the roof of the house and scream his joy over gilles’ return to the heavens 

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - they tag team on things like feeding the animals and cleaning out the barn, but gustave is much more organized about it

Who is the more loved parent? - the cats, dog, one of the horses, donkey, alpaca, rabbit, goats (except for Bastard), and deer all prefer gustave, though gilles is adequate in the event that gustave is busy with something else (although the alpaca and donkey hate his guts, and will escape their pastures to break into the house and be near gustave. gilles maintains that they’re both devil-spawn, but gustave says he’s just being dramatic and that Thamin (alpaca) and Albalatin (donkey) are complete angels who could do no wrong)

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - animals have NOT unionized. yet. 

Who cried the most at graduation? - idk if this counts, but when Bastard finally figured out how to get himself down from the roof after getting himself onto it, gilles cried for an hour

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - gilles lowkey does whenever thamin and albalatin escape to go out into the world and commit crimes, but only to make sure his husband doesn’t get upset when he finds out his precious creatures are hell beasts. certainly not out of anything resembling tolerance or *shudder* like 

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - gustave, but gilles can make a mean bowl of cereal

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - gustave. gilles will eat something straight from the garden and gustave is like “DID YOU CHECK IF IT WAS RIPE?????? YOU COULD DIE FROM THAT YOU KNOW, THEN WHERE WOULD I BE???” 

Who does the grocery shopping? - gustave. gilles is something of a hermit in their town, and people often remark about the “sweet, kind doctor and his utter brick wall of a husband” 

How often do they bake desserts? - whenever Bastard goes a day without doing something Bastardous 

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - both lowkey prefer salad, since they care for many animals that would often get used for their meat, and they can’t bear to think about hurting any of their babies

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - gilles. the people in town helped him when he burst into the little grocery store all panicked like “I NEED TO MAKE MY HUSBAND A SURPRISE DINNER BUT I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO MAKE” 

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - gustave. gilles like being at home, but city-boy over here thinks that restaurants are a weekly luxury

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - neither. it was thamin and albalatin, attempting to frame gilles for yet another felony

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - gustave. everything is color coded. sex toys included 

Who is really against chores? - gilles. gustave films him whenever he actually does clean and yells things like “go white boy go!!” and sends them to twitch for her T.E.A.M. D.A.D.S. scrapbook 

Who cleans up after the pets? - they both do, but gilles gets stuck with shit duty more often than not

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - gilles, once. gustave walked in, sniffed the air, then glared at him until he actually swept whatever it was up and threw it away 

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - gustave “we can’t have guests over, the house is a mess” kateb

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Bastard. he then proceeded to eat it

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - gustave and his hour-long skincare routine 

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - gustave, bc sadiqi the dog (not to be confused with sadiqi the kitten), or Big Sadiqi (kitten sadiqi is Little Sadiqi) is his, gilles, and he will not allow his precious boy to be influenced by such creatures as Bastard 

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - they get little sweaters for the animals. that is all

What are their goals for the relationship? - joke: gustave always says “the White Man’s money” despite the fact that his family is richer than gilles’. woke: mutual happiness, comfort, and healing 

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - gustave. after 11 am, thamin and albalatin decide they’ve had enough and break in to lay down on the bed next to him. gilles banishes himself to the couch for a week

Who plays the most pranks? - Bastard, thamin, and albalatin. although gustave did dye the sheep’s wool (while it was still attached to them) different colors and patterns and, for the ones who were perfectly content to sit still and be held, replicas of famous paintings (his favorite artist is monet, in case you forgot that he’s french)

[blukwolf]

AFO!Izuku

Alright so I was watching a... comic? (Yes, watching, as in watching it in yt) idk about Izuku having AFO and accidentally stealing Bakugou's quirk which led to the Midoriya's leaving Japan and going overseas with Hisashi, who happened to be All For One, so this idea came to me as a different take on Vigilante borderline Villain Deku.

(sorry for every mistake you may see here, english is not my native language)

AU in which AFO is Izuku's dad and Izuku inherited AFO, thus leading to him taking quirks from his peers when he was a child because he didn't know how to 'turn it off', which then led to him not having a lot of friends because the rest of the kids were afraid he might try to steal their quirks indefinitely. He went overseas with his family to try and 'forget' about what happened and maybe get a better hand at controlling Liability, his quirk.

Once he's back in Japan, after AFO v AM fight (the first one) news broke out about The Greatest Villain™ having a heir somewhere around the world (which the people would be confused about, but not the villains, THEY KNOW about the Lord of the Underground, they've heard the rumours, so) so word spreads about Izuku without no one knowing is about him exactly, but Bakugou Remembers, he never forgot about 'the Deku who steals quirks' which would be really difficult to evade, given the fact that Katsuki is the powerhouse he is in canon and pretty much everyone hates him, fears him or fawns over.

With this in mind, Izuku knows there's no way for him to become a Hero, not if he wants to be recognized as All For One's son, so his best route to achieve his dream is by doing it out of the law, being a Vigilante.

By this point either way his view of the Hero Society is more wide open, HE KNOWS the difficults of having a quirk that doesn't fit society's standards, HE KNOWS how hard it is to be viewed as the "bad one" for something you didn't have control over, HE KNOWS people would judge you based on literal bullshit if they can, so he doesn't risk it, he can't risk it for his mom, for the safety and the love Inko needs after "losing" his husband.

(they both are very aware of who Hisashi was and Inko is heartbroken, so Izuku doesn't want to make it harder for her by going out on full display on UA by wanting something that doesn't belongs to him)

This leads to him wanting desperately a change, to go out an Do Something for those like him, for those who are ignored by the ones who only wish more recognition, for those who, like him, were casted aside as "liabilities" for the Society.

He wants to be an All Might of sorts, but a little more... Discreet. Without the big announcement, the smile, the 'bunny ears'. He takes more after Eraserhead.

So, he becomes 'Reprise', a vigilante (criminal for those Good Ones™) who goes 'berserk' at night, beating up all types of Real Criminals, going from drug dealers to genuine Villains, freeing neighborhood after neighborhood and doing what some pros are supposed to do.

He takes the quirks of those who he despises, those who he thinks are the worst of the worst. With them, he doesn't hold back, he ambushes them, takes them off guard and takes their quirks as soon as he can.

It's a little bit like Stain, without the murder and the intensity, but he does share a bit of his ideals, mostly when it cames down to the 'True Heroes' and all that jazz.

News start to spread about the new 'villain' going around beating others just for fun, which leads to other villains wanting to prove themselves by conquering the 'Mad V', thus leading to those same villains ending up without a quirk and a wake up call.

(He's not directly involved with UA and the stuff happening to Class 1A, just briefly jumping in to stop Stain and saving Iida's life (IIDA'S LIFE, unfortunately that doesn't change the fact that Iida's entire life/career changed after that, the Hero Killer achieving his goal of damaging him forever))

With word on the street about a new vigilante doing 'God's Work' and defeating Villain after villain, the rumours make their way into UA halls and the police force, alerting Tsukauchi and Nedzu, which eventually leads to Bakugou knowing about it and having his suspicions.

(Neither Bakugou nor Izuku have encountered each other since the day Izuku left for America, so that)

Now about his appearance, he doesn't have the typical Gucci Eyebags for having insomnia, no. He does have the Gucci Eyebags for going around beating villains so late at night.

He IS a bit different regarding his looks, he DOES has his messy hair, but with an undercut (bc only God knows how much I love Undercut!Izuku), and tends to wear normal clothes. In short, he's not far from Canon Izuku but he's definitely different.

He's not the sad depressed snarky Izuku we love to see in fanfics, no. He's more compossed, polite, kind, but he is a loner, tends to stay in the corner of the room to try and get a hang of his surroundings. He's that kind of anime guy who is serious, has a few friends/classmates that he's friendly with, and mostly evades spotlight. He's not depressed, he's angry at the world for being unfair and angry at himself for allowing the world to hurt him.

That changes when he is Reprise. He becomes this violent vigilante who wants to make a change, who goes out at night to pick fights and steal quirks and do what the Pros don't. He's snarky, sarcastic, rude, he talks back and throws insults around the street as if nothing. He's not afraid of getting injured, he welcomes the pain as a reminder, a reminder that he's doing something and that Something is making other people feel safe and protected.

The Night is Still Young tends to be his catchphrase.

He actually goes with a therapist.

He continues writing his notebooks about quirks and pros, and even villains. He has a whole pack of them with all the quirks he has taken, how they function and how to improve them.

He goes to a well-known high school for Geniuses and Prodigies with interests in sports, maths, sciencies and the like, even those who want to make a living in the support drpartment goes there.

He thinks his fort is his Mind.

((I don't think I have to point it out, but his meeting with All Might & the Sludge Villain doesn't happen in this au.))

(Shigaraki is well aware of his existence, he doesn't know it's Izuku until Reprise tries to ambush him. Shigaraki's thrilled with the rumours about a heir of AFO running around ruining business, so he would obviously want to meet him at some point and maybe try and recruit him, convince him to join his Father's side.)

His first real, face-to-face encounter with Katsuki and the rest of Class 1A (some of them at least) happens during Kamino.

Todoroki, Yaoyorozu, Kirishima, Uraraka and Tsuyu are the ones who rescue him SOMEHOW, i'm not going into details because I can't think of them right now, but THEY saved Bakugou.

It's when the news about a creature created by the LOV broke out that he found out about his dad's survival. So he tries to gain information by breaking in the police's archives (thanks to a friend of his who happened to be a hacker) which led to him finding out about the upcoming raid at the LOV base, but he's Izuku, he KNOWS his dad, he KNOWS the type of man Hisashi is.

So, while the League of Villains location is there, he doesn't goes there. He makes an investigation of his own, finding clues, proof, following people. Using common sense, he finds the Warehouse where his dad is supposed to be.

Only, he doesn't makes it that far. He's scouting the area of Kamino, walking around aimlessly, praying that the raid goes well so the Pros can leave it there and continue pursuing fame so he can go to that same Warehouse and confront his dad and maybe throw a few punches and cry a few tears when all Hell breaks loose.

There's a thunderous tremor around him and the screens lights up and there's All Might, in all his glory (he's not a hardcore fan anymore btw) standing in front of a terrifying villain, and suddenly Izuku is very, very scared.

And so, he watches. His heart is in his throat, ready to be thrown up as his Dad fights against the man he used to look up to. He watches as All Might buries All For One into the ground like an unused toy, and he's a mess, he's crying alongside the other people, but he cries for his dad, for the man that he loved so much, and there's this feeling of bitterness in the pit of his stomach that he wants to ignore so desperately.

So he turns around and starts walking again. He remembers his dad, working with him and helping him to control his quirk, giving him the best hugs of the world, cheering him up when he was feeling like a waste of space. He remembers the loving husband and father that Hisashi used to be and he's feeling really miserable when he stops abruptly and looks up to find Bakugou just a couple of meters ahead of him.

The rest of the rescue squad is there, too. They're looking from Bakugou to Izuku really puzzled because the firecracker they know is eerily silent and this boy is just there, face blank with just a little bit of puffiness in his eyes.

So Bakugou, a witness to all the madness from that night in Kamino, with pent up frustration and anger, goes completely blank with emotions and calls him Deku, demands for answers to questions such as 'the hell are u doin here?' 'are you with them?' 'are you playing hero again, uh, fucking Deku?'

And Deku's just there, overwhelmed by grief, because he lost his dad in what he suspects is national television, and he knows his mom is probably at home, probably saw everything. He knows Inko is just as heartbroken as he is, and that hurts like hell because it's his Mom, his everything, the one person that holds importance in his heart that he has left.

And seeing Bakugou at that exact moment, it's too much, he's emotionally incapable to deal with him of all people at that very moment. So he just. Can't.

He looks at Bakugou, he looks at him, and says "you haven't changed anything, Kacchan" and Izuku completely ignores him, keeps walking as if nothing happened, as if it isn't a blonde pomeranian screaming after him to 'stop looking down at him, you fucking freak'.

(when he makes it home he tells his mom he was in Kamino when everything happened, and Inko starts crying real hard, and Izuku too, and everything is a mess)

After his Dad's defeat, he starts attacking Pros, mercilessly and ruthlessly, but only those who deserves it, those who he thinks have failed at doing their jobs of protecting people.

Tsukauchi is desperate to capture him, wanting to bring an end to the 'Heir of the Underground' as people, mainly villains, are calling him after AFO is brought down and the similarities between AFO and Reprise are pointed out. He knows that if he leaves him on the loose for too long, there's no turning back, Tsukauchi knows what's on the line for him and is afraid FOR Izuku, knows he can become a target later on, or he can take over his Dad's Empire and be worst.

He doesn't know is Izuku, and even if Bakugou is having a crisis over Reprise and everything going on around him (because of course is Deku, it's always been Deku) he can't go and tell them, he doesn't has proof, only memories from when he was a kid and a very obvious dislike of Midoriya Izuku.

So Bakugou buries Izuku and Reprise to the back of his mind and concentrates in his own shit, the internships and the provisional license and that jazz.

(I always saw a lot of hc about how everything changed for class 1A without Deku there. So I'm taking this too and a few others things. Can't remember where I saw them tbh but all credits to their rightful owners)

Not all of them, Class 1A that is, got their license, just a few lucky ones, but a great deal of them failed. They aren't that motivated nor are That strong. USJ changed them, showed them a truth they weren't expecting this early, and losing Iida just reminded them that.

Overhaul Arc it's the same, except that, in the middle of the battle against him, when Mirio was fighting Chisaki and protecting Eri, Reprise showed up and took Overhaul's quirk right after he shoot Mirio.

(Mirio, who had Permeability. Mirio, who had One For All. He loses both of his quirks.)

At this point, and with overhaul newly added to his collection with a few others, Izuku is mostly invincible. The chaotic vigilante he used to be becomes fierce, a force to be reckoned with, so when Tsukauchi hears about Reprise getting overhaul, he warns ALL of the Pros to be careful at encountering him.

The Hero Comission WARNS EVERY AGENCY that, in case of coming face to face with Reprise, they have to flee inmediately or suffer the consequences, which are losing their quirks and having to step down from being pros.

It becomes a really bad situation, with fear striking every Pro present, much more so after losing the Symbol of Peace, which leads to a vulnerability in those afraid of losing everything and leaving unprotected a few places, or outright giving up the title of Pro.

Everything comes down to the fateful meeting of Shigaraki and Izuku.

Shigaraki knows there's malice in Reprise, he knows he felt that pain too when All For One was captured, that's why he's going against Pros now, and he plans to use every ounce of that pain to bring him by his side.

Liability (Reprise) of Lorde was a huge inspiration tbh

[secret-engima]

Wait, didn’t you say that Titus was 13 when jungle living became The Thing to Do in Galahd? Shouldn’t he have, some sort of idea of what’s happening? I mean, that’s about the time I had school giving me the biology side of puberty. It was basic, also mostly so the girls who were early bloomers didn’t get screwed and think they dying. So, how does that fit into all the really fun part of Galahd Don’t Biology Good?

No- see- Titus did not go to School, he was homeschooled because that’s actually the norm in Galahd (and 90% of the time it works out FINE because the whole village will happily chip in on the Schooling in any areas where the parents Don’t Know Much about a given subject) and further he was being raised by his Aunt who was Really Busy being the matron of an orphanage (where Amissa lived) and often Titus was busy too busy helping her help the kiddos to go to the other villagers with questions. His Aunt and the other matrons didn’t have TIME to do more than, at best, give him a “there are three secondaries, these are their names, and when you Mature things will get weird but I will explain more later”. Except the Nifs happened so there never was a Later.

So while Titus DID know that these things have like- a name and are “normal” he had no idea WHAT “normal” entailed or what to do about it.

Also he was the first to Mature so he was a little too miserable at the time to help Amissa with all the other panicking kiddos. So when Amissa started bluffing her way through this, Titus went along with it because it ... kinda made logical sense and it was better than letting his instincts Run Wild.

So in how that fits into Galahd Doesn’t Biology Good (tho these will mostly be the social side-effects of that) some highlights include:

-Because Titus goes around the Citadel suppressing his scent while on duty (they only released their scents in the Den with the Pack remember), everybody thinks he hates their guts and is constantly on the edge of MUrDeROuS FuRY and only works with them because he hates the Nifs more than he hates them. (Titus does NOT get why the servants avoid him like the plague and the Crownsguard get all tense and Regis is never allowed to be alone in the same room as Titus because like- he’s never done anything to them? Never lashed out physically and usually not verbally? Maybe his scent is leaking out from his annoyance over the latest mounds of paperwork and it scares them he’d better Suppress Harder-).

-The Glaives are, in fact, as cheerful and polite as they know to be with everyone else in the Citadel. But because they are Awkward with Manners at times and are always Suppressing, most people think they are pathological liars. The Glaives don’t get why everyone is so rude to them and wary, but whatever they tried.

-What is Flirting We Know Only Work and Dead Things (aka the few times any secretary or whatever flirts with a Glaive, they get a blank look and sometimes an offended sniff because why are you throwing your scent at me like that. We’re not Pack. You don’t smell like you want to be friends or Pack. Why is your Scent like that I don’t get it leave me alone.)

-What Are Day Offs We Know Only Pain (aka NONE of them understand that it’s normal for people to be given days off/half days during their Heats or Ruts because like- Pain and Suffering and Uncontrolled Instincts. So there ARE days when Titus and a third of the Glaive are genuinely murderous and usually do their best to go out on a mission to destroy Nifs to work out their ANGER at not being home, happily fussing over their Pack, unaware that they have every right to do just that if they ever LET ANYONE KNOW that they were actually on their Rut rn. The same goes for the Omegas when they hit their Heats.)

-These kiddos do NOT understand the concept of casual scenting. Like- DO NOT. They do not get that the reason everyone else always has their scent at least mildly out is because that’s considered polite, an extra way to read someone’s emotions/intent in a conversation and stuff. To the glaives it just means they’re bad at suppressing and it’s ... probably not polite to point that out? So they don’t? They just pretend the person they are talking to doesn’t Suck at Suppressing and refuse to react to whatever they smell unless it’s like- an injury or something. This only makes people more convinced that the glaives are crazy/weird/lairs because they’re “obviously ignoring social cues” (they are, because they’re trying to be polite). Titus is especially bad at this because the more he respects someone the harder he will pretend to ignore their terrible Suppression Abilities. Considering he actually respects Regis a LOT .... you can see how fast the misunderstandings breed.

-Anytime someone Tries Something against a glaive (like if someone thinks the Glaive in question is an Omega and tries to express dominance) prepare to be scentlessly mobbed by a very displeased Pack, who will kick you around and snarl death threats and generally give you a horrible time all without ever flaring their scent. Its the equivalent of being attacked by a bunch of monotone computers. All the proper threatening verbiage is there, but “emotionally” it’s blank because of a lack of scent. It creeps the witnesses out like WHOO.

-Btw a side-effect of their constant suppression is when any of them DO let their scent out around a stranger, ie is finally pushed to express dominance that way, they can and will STAGGER the threat with the strength of their scent. They go from Near Null to Very Powerful in 0.5 seconds and its usually enough to stun someone. When Titus does it he can genuinely drive someone to their knees under the sheer intensity and weight of his scent, which is yet another reason he tries to never let his scent out around non-Galahdians. He doesn’t want to hurt them (unless they deserve it, in which case he prefers his sword anyway).

(hope that answered your ask!)

[nico-drives-badly]

Y’all I just remembered I had a fever dream last night about DMC that lowkey turned into a Fairly Odd Parents AU crack idea

Okay, so basically, it’s an AU that takes place when Nero is like 12-ish and is still living in the orphanage. I don’t remember a lot of the details, but I remember that Kyrie and Credo’s parents got into a fatal car crash and killed the whole family. As in, Kyrie and Credo are also dead in this AU, not just their parents.

((Yes I know that’s morbid af but trust me it gets better eventually))

So Nero’s already got a shitty ass life in the orphanage, and now he just learned that everyone who ever loved him or cared about him is fucking DEAD. Oh, and did I mention that the orphanage’s way of breaking the news to him this was by placing the obituary on his cot and never actually telling him outright?

((YES I KNOW THAT’S FUCKING AWFUL BUT JUST BEAR WITH ME OKAY WE’RE ALMOST TO THE GOOD PART))

So Nero’s absolutely heartbroken and he’s all alone crying and curled up into a sad little ball, when suddenly...BAM!

((Here’s where the “fever” part of the fever dream started kicking in))

A 12-year-old V literally poofs in out of nowhere like the magic 9 ball scene from Fairly Odd Parents and announces that they’re Nero’s new fairy godperson

((See I told y’all it gets better lmao))

So basically in this universe, every person is assigned a “fairy godperson” at birth that essentially acts as their guardian angel. Normally, the fairy godperson is invisible to their human (and everyone else) and will remain hidden for their entire lives. But under very specific and typically really tragic circumstances, if a person becomes so miserable and/or lonely that there is literally no one else on the planet who will love and protect them (i.e., Nero in this Universe), their fairy godperson will reveal themselves to them, and from that day forward it is their sworn duty to love and protect their human as their closest friend, sibling, and guardian.

The fairy godperson is still invisible to everyone else (unless they disguise themselves as human, but that’s a detail I added after I woke up), but they’re 100% corporeal and you can talk to them, touch them, throw shit at them, etc. Consequently, they can also touch things, moves things around, etc., so you still have that whole “you can only interact with them when people aren’t around” thing from FOP because otherwise people would think there’s a ghost. And because they’re a fairy godperson, they naturally have a knack for mischief and love to stir up trouble with their magic. Also, for the record, they can also change size (kinda like the genie in Aladdin but without the full-on shapeshifting) to make it easier to blend in/hide/etc., so your fairy godperson could literally go from an adorable lil 6-inch fae sleeping in your pocket to a 7-foot-tall basketball player with wings if they really wanted to.

((Like I said guys this was a really weird fever dream, I swear it lasted like 2 hours))

So anyway, Fae!V introduces themself to Nero, and right away you KNOW this AU is going to be fucking WILD, because V is an absentminded and reckless ball of chaotic neutral energy who can’t take things seriously to save their life. They’re literally the phrase “be gay, do crimes” incarnate. (Btw V uses they/them pronouns in this AU because etherial beings and gender is a social construct and all that jazz).

And I think you can see where I’m going with this: a goofy little cartoon-esque series where V and Nero go on all sorts of crazy and chaotic misadventures together, and Nero has to keep his new magical dumbass sibling a secret from the rest of the orphanage.

*Whew!* That took a lot of explaining. Hopefully this makes sense to you all because it literally took me 5 hours to make sense of this madness

[the-dimensionmaker]

Oh boy.... where... WHERE... do i begin with this... i had to think about this for a LONG time... cause i know if i talk about this and try and give Aidan more attention... then my friend and great artist, Raisha gs will be upset with me... and.... will probably block me.... leaving me here to grieve again for the mistakes i did...... so if Raisha some how knows that i have a twitter acc... first off... hi dude... second off dont block me... yhe worst you can do is block someone for trying to get something out of they're situation so they can feel better... im not saying that your a bad person... im not saying that that your trying to control my life... all im saying is that.. please... understand that i need to do this... if people are doing this against people like Lui or Mini Ladd or even Shane Dawson... then i should do the same for a guy who has did this... dont worry... i blocked him on twitter.... so dont worry about him trying to find out about what im talking about... ok...? I hope you understand...

so for starters if you dont know who i am, i am the Dimensionmaker. Someone who wants to make animations for yt, who wants to make his own games, want do lets plays, and even talk to you viewers... i have a rough life... filled with nothing but people lying to me, people cheating on me without a reason (the numbers of people who did that is now 61 in total...), people lying ABOUT me, nothing but fear, and many more... Jaiden or Kitty Courtnie And Linka, is... the first gf i ever had. She was... the worst as well. She never listened, didnt care, and then cheated... then we have... Aidan2003, who is the main topic of this...

We start from what caused all of this to happen... when i was in middle school still i was on roblox... i had great friends... one of them named herself Jaidenanimations (not the real one...) also known as Courtnie... she was the nicest.. at the time she had a bf named Dud.. (btw Dud is Older then both me AND courtnie.. he acted like a complete creep around her..) but fsr.. Dud broke up with her.... someone named Ethan dated her too... but then broke up with her... and who knows if he is older then courtnie at the time... she was now sad... so i decided to become her bf... and when i did... we were... THE BEST... we loved each other more then anything... she would without me asking, want to do a drp with me... she wanted to come to my house... she wanted to meet me irl... she was better then anyone...things got a bit worst... Jaiden was now enemies with everyone... (Ethan, Dud, Jonathan, etc...) she doesnt want them to follow her... so i decied to be a bit strict.. and tell her to NOT go to any of the roblox games till she blocks them... and she lies to me... saying that... "She wasnt able to block them as a crack was CONVENIENTLY on the block and unfriend button..." and when ever we have a plan or another idea on what can actually work... she lied her way saying thaings like oh.. "My Phone Is Dead" and such.. so much in fake that it was... PREDICTABLE... she then started to hang out with them... i became a bit more stricter... then my mental health became bad... she didnt listen... it made me feel like nobody listens to me... leading me into a depression... i felt like nobody liked me... nobody listens to me... nobody even cared about me... i wanted to die... a... bunch of times... most of the time... she never cared... then... on yt......... she cheated on me... with 2 people who were OLDER THEN ME AND HER COMBINED (being both Jonathan and Dud... keep that in mind...)... i noticed this.... i was FURIOUS..... i yelled at the thing i thought was a girl i Loved... a girl i could trust... a Girl that i thought was LOYAL..... then her parents got involved calling me rude words like European Boy (i think it was something else) "just because my skin was black".. keep that in mind as well... "her parents deleted her discord acc For Good..." (keep thaf in mind...)... then... i sobbed... again... and again... i tried to go and find people who cares about me or loved me... but then they cheated... one by one... my mental health became WORST.... i tried many methods... me having more then one girlfriend... having them make promises due to what has happen to me... being nice... being strict..... nothing worked.......... my life was miserable...... i didnt finally be able to talk to courtnie and get her to break up with Jonathan... she was happy that she did... but then she didnt come back to roblox... but then betrayed me yet again........

I asked one of my friends on if they are able to talk to Courtnie...they couldn't... all except for one person one of them know... Aidan... i talked to Aidan and he actually was nice... but then... he started to act like im a pedo... wanna know why...? Get this... JAIDEN LIED ABOUT HER AGE THE WHOLE TIME. when i was 13 she was 10 ALL ALONG. She lied to me for YEARS... saying she was my age.... i blocked Aidan and never talked to him ever again... and jaiden finally talks to me and we were in good terms... but then... Aidan came in.... saying jaiden has caused alot of crap to him... i believed him and became his friend only to be forced into a group where this friends (ETHAN AND IVAN BEING ONE OF THEM) could harass me... then... we go to his videos... his videos are false... they barely show proof... he says points that are completely incorrect.... hell here is some (not all cause i dont want to be texting all night) he said in them...

- "I Know Where You Live And I Know Everything About You"

He says this yet he assumed i was a 25 year old man. Even tho im now 15. At the time i was 14 now im 15. Plus he doxxedy house. And stole my IP ADDRESS... that right there makes him seem more like a creep. Courtnie without me asking told me where she lived. This guy STOLE MY IP ADDRESS AND FUCKING DOXXED MY HOUSE. That right there will show that he is a bad person who is just lying to ruin my life... speaking of lying

- "Schroederluvr Is A Minor"

This proves that he didnt even talk to her... she isnt a minor... hell looking at her compared to me... she is OLDER THEN ME.. SHE IS 20 SOMETHING YEARS OLD. I Didnt Harass Her Anyways so why is he saying that i did.

- "Lillie is innocent"

Lillie on Instagram literally said in her own words that she is bullying me because of me being depressed. Thats jot justified AT ALL.

"Klara's post is about me"

No its not. Its about lillie and her friends. Who BTW IS DMING ME SENDING A PICTURE OF SOME STUPID PICTURE OF A INCINEROAR. sure yes it doesnt seem to bad but its EXTREMELY ANNOYING.

- "Telling the police that Aidan doxxed my house and Stole my IP Address wont do anything"

It will, Aidan. It literally says that no matter how you got it or why you got it, you will be send to jail.

- "TALKING to minors is bad"

Wrong. If thats the case then someone like WILDCAT, VANOSS, H2ODELIRIOUS, MARKIPLIER, CORYXKENSHIN, AND MANY MANY MORE would be swatted and in jail. Its not Illegal to talk to them.

- "that Katie is innocent"

Katie has done a MOUNTAIN of stuff to me. So much so that even the nicest people of all time wont be nice to her. She isnt in the right. AT. ALL.

- "that telling people to leave me alone is harassing them"

Its not harassment. Seriously. A NORMAL HUMAN BEING WOULD KNOW THAT IST NOR HARASSMENT TO TELL SOMEONE TO GO AWAY OR LEAVE THEM ALONE

- "That im a predator yet youw ont go after Jonathan and Dud"

He literally spares them but not me. Jonathan was 17 i think. And Dud was i think 19. Now he's probably 20 OR 21 YEARS OLD. And you STILL come at me for just DATING someone who LIED ABOUT HER AGE.

- "that i was... Harassing? xxlitle_dummyxx"

Even tho she literally wants to be rude while im trying to help... wow... just fucking WOW

- "that not telling people your name, nor putting your name on your acc is a bad thing"

No.. no its not... hell we look at a bunch of youtubers doing that. Hell there are a bunch of people i KNOW that doesnt say they're real name. It's THEY'RE CHOICE. Not yours Aidan.

Anyways.... then to make things worst he called me the N word a bunch of times then say that he "didnt" because i didnt have proof... wanna know why? BECAUSE HE BLOCKED ME AFTER THAT SO I WASNT ABLE TO TAKE A VIDEO OF THIS. Then he made a fake conversation between me and jaiden. I can tell its fake by just looking at the pfps and names...

I decided to delete all the posts about him on Instagram... not because he beated me... but because i wanted Raisha gs to be happy... to not hate me...... to not block me... thats something that Effects me when it comes to someone like Raisha or Brsstar... i worry that if i make one mistake for what ever reason... ill be blocked... so im hoping that Raisha understands that i cant hold all of this in anymore... if Aidan are exposing me for shit i didn't do... if PEOPLE are coming out to finally say the truth about someone... then i should as well.... i hope you understand if you made it this far...

So... here's what i have to say for the conclusion of this... if you all see the name... "Aidan2003"... block him... REPORT HIM... do what ever you like to him.... he wants to hurt me for shit i didnt do... so why should i say to not do the same to him... he is not a good person... he never was....

This is The Creator Of Multiverses... and i will soon make other posts, dont worry ^^.

Till then my fell Universers..

[angelkitty54]

Someone on AO3 requested it, so here’s part the next of This AU. I have so many ideas for this AU... this ended up being really long...

Also here’s some songs that make me think of this AU: “Bad Idea” and “You Matter to Me” from the Waitress musical.

...

So, there’s no scourge or prophecy in this AU but the war with Nifflheim is still happening. The Oracle is a religious figure, and much beloved by the people, hence why the Empire originally wanted to obtain control over Tenebrae. But lately the Emperor is feeling threatened by Lunafreya.

She’s is beloved by the masses, and though her brother has been indoctrinated, and she lacks any real power, it’s clear she still has a mind of her own. So it’s decided that Luna ought to be replaced with a younger cousin, who has also been indoctrinated and is far easier to manipulate.

It doesn’t matter to them that this girl doesn’t possess the powers of the Oracle. The powers that be in Nifflheim are not religious. They couldn’t care less about the magic’s of the Oracle line. If nothing else, they’ll just have Ravus (who is a beta btw) marry and produce a kid at some point.

But first, Luna must disappear. It will be a tragic accident, or perhaps even a plot by the enemy. Either way she has to go.

And yet, for all that Ravus has been thoroughly brainwashed by the Empire, he still loves his sister above all else. He’s not just going to stand by and do nothing while Luna’s life is in danger.

So, swallowing his pride and hatred for the Lucian King, Ravus secretly makes a deal. Luna is spirited away to Insomnia seeking political asylum. To her it feels a little like abandoning her duties and her people, but (as it’s been since the Niffs invaded years ago) she has little say in the matter.

Life is Terrible for omegas in Insomnia, and in Nifflheim it’s just as bad. The only difference being that the Niffs are open about their cruelty, whereas Lucians like to sugar coat it. Luna can’t tell which is worse.

Luna knows exactly what would have happened to her had she presented as anything other than an alpha. And like Noctis, her status and birthright would not have been enough to save her. But she never would have thought such a thing would have happened to him.

Her magic and status as Oracle is the one thing that Nifflheim couldn’t take form her. It strikes a cord in her, seeing Noctis stripped of his own magic and status as prince. And Luna, well, she knows better than anyone what it’s like to be a prisoner in your own home...

The first time she met Noctis he was a shy, damaged child in a wheelchair. The second time he is a boy still not yet a man, yet he is pregnant and far more damaged, for more broken, than the child she met ten years ago. 

She just can’t understand how this could have happened.

It’s typical alpha behavior to offer food to omegas (to show they are a good provider, someone who can put food on the table), but Noctis won’t eat anything Ignis or Gladio give him.

After everything they’ve done to him, all of Noct’s instincts scream that Ignis and Gladio are unsafe alphas. He physically cannot eat the food they provide, which means he’s not eating period. They’ve started force feeding him, which only causes him more distress and he ends up throwing it all back up again.

Furthermore, Noctis hasn’t been sleeping. How can he when he sandwiched between two unsafe alphas (his captors, his rapists) at night? There isn’t a single place safe from them in his home. He’s trapped in an unsafe home with two aggressive, untrustworthy, dangerous alphas. Sleep is impossible when he’s on high alert at all times.

The pregnancy is hard on his body too. He doesn’t want this baby. It’s little more than a lump of cells, not even a person yet, and he already despises it. To Noct, it’s nothing more than a parasite, slowing draining his life away.

“It’s just hormones.” The so-called experts say. “Everything will be fine once the baby is here.” They diagnose him with prenatal depression, and largely brush it off as being “normal” for omegas experiencing their first pregnancy.

Nevermind that Noctis is miserable, that he’s wasting away. That he has been suffering ever since he presented.

And it’s ironic, but before Noct presented, Ignis and Gladio had actually been good alphas. Ignis made Noct feel cared for, while Gladio made him feel safe. They had a healthy dynamic before. If they just stayed the way they were, then Noct would have felt safe with them, might have even accepted them as his alphas. But they didn’t.

The fact of the matter remains, Noctis is dying, and nothing seems to help (naturally, given their version of “helping” is just to be more abusive and controlling).

As an unmated alpha, Luna would normally never be allowed near Noctis, but as it’s the Oracle’s duty to offer guidance and healing, well...

Luna knows how to navigate a conversation peacefully while holding an unpopular opinion. She knows how to probe and question, without rocking the boat. She’s had a lot of practice after all, though she never thought it’d be like this with the likes of Regis and Noct’s friends...

She’s able to gain access to Noctis, alone, without guards or his alphas hovering threateningly over their shoulders. She’s the Oracle, and an old friend. Who is more trustworthy than her?

The fact that Noctis seems so much better after speaking to her just once helps her case quite a bit too.

Luna is the only person who speaks to Noct looking him in the eye. She doesn’t talk over him, or at him, or to his alphas instead of him. She doesn’t touch him without permission. She doesn’t crowd him and keeps a comfortable distance. She’s the only person who truly sees him; sees whats happening to him and understands it’s wrong.

Luna is a good, safe alpha. More than that, she’s still his friend. Where everyone else abandoned him, Luna did not. Even if it’s only for a few hours every other day, she provides a safe haven.

She tries to undo whatever Regis did to seal Noct’s magic, but is unsuccessful, and Regis isn’t sharing what he knows either. Every time she brings it up, he manages to brush the topis aside. Sometimes he even makes his actions sound quite logical.

But Luna knows it’s not right. One look at Noctis is all it takes to realise the truth. It seems that no one else is willing to truly see him though...

Noctis has been her closest friend and confidant over the years, even when they were apart. She wants so badly to help him, but it seems she’s just as powerless here beside him, as she was when they were separated...

As Noct’s pregnancy progresses, his mood swings violently from one end to the other. With Luna he is almost happy, hopeful even. But at other times he is utterly inconsolable. All the while, the pair grow closer and closer.

They don’t mean to fall into bed together. It just sort of happened. They know what they’re doing is a terrible idea, dangerous even, but it’s difficult deny their feelings. Noct has always provided an escape for Luna, and visa versa, and this is just one more way of escaping from their unhappy lives.

For Luna, she has been trapped in a cage for so long, even now, she’s simply traded her old cage for a somewhat nicer one. For Noct, well if he had no choice but to belong to someone, he’d rather belong to Luna. They both want something that’s entirely theirs.

Still, is dangerous and if they get caught, well, never seeing the other again will probably be the least of their worries...

Noct’s 18th birthday has come and gone. In the past he would have faced it with pride and trepidation for the future for it had meant he was one step closer to being king. Now though, well, there’s very little for him to look forward to...

And while others celebrate, dread begins to fill his entire being as his due date is fast approaching...

TBC...

[quietlysatan]

An Invincible Summer - ShanaStoryteller, AO3

Link: Here!!

Rating: T for read the warnings, but don’t worry too much because of them

Favorite Quote(s): I legit wanna tattoo this next quote on me somewhere

"Oh, the things that can be accomplished through ignorance of their impossibility," 

And this Straight Up Fact

“There’s no such thing as cheating as long as you win,” Natsu says, and the brat’s not wrong.

This one’s just funny

“Chouza,” Inoichi forces himself to say evenly, “Your teachings produced Ebisu and goddamned Gai.”

“Genma’s pretty normal though,” Chouza sighs, “I never could get through to that boy.”

Gently Gai casually caring about Kakashi’s well-being is my entire reason for living, speaking of which if someone wants to come be my Gai that’d be really fucking nice because us Kakashi’s don’t do too well on our own

He hesitates, but says, "Not that I do not find your newfound mentorship to be a most youthful endeavor, but -"

"I don't know," Kakashi interrupts his friend, "I met her while she was taking her genin exam and she, I don't know, adopted me or something. She just keeps showing up."

Gai nods thoughtfully, "Stubbornness is a useful skill to have when trying to cultivate a friendship with you." Kakashi elbows the other man, but doesn't protest besides that. "She's a good cook."

And this one because I love it when people Get It, ya’know?

That's really why he won't say anything, why he won't reveal that the Kyuubi's container and the fourth Hokage's child is still alive: they already killed him once. Naruto and Shikamaru are the same age, they would have been in the same class, and the idea that anyone could want to harm his innocent, precious son makes his blood boil 

And this one, for accuracy

"This sounds like a most youthful endeavor. I will bring Anko! She will fan the flames of youth in our young Konoha blossom!"

Both Itachi and Kakashi look at Gai, horrified. "Please don't," Itachi says weakly, like he knows it'll fall on deaf ears but he has to try anyway.

"Don't worry," Gai attempts to assure them, going into his Good Guy pose, "They will produce youthful flames of feminine excellence!"

"They're going to burn down Konoha," Kakashi says flatly.

Gai's hair and teeth sparkle in the sunlight, and he doesn't attempt to deny it.

Another important one

"The world is a terrible place," she says, and she has to swallow before she speaks again, "and it's full of terrible people. But I don't have to be one of them." 

I love that Natsu-chan has great balance, this is my number one favorite character trope, and I wish more people would write it

She bends down to look at him upside down, and Itachi can feel that she's not using chakra to stick onto him, and sometimes her balance just isn't logical. 

I just love the idea of tiny genius Naruto, and I love that Natsu-chan is a seal master at like, fucking seven and a half lol

Itachi knows it's actually far more complicated than that, but just as he does not tell her minutia of the past shinobi wars in their history lessons, she does not overcomplicate her explanations of sealing. Usually he's grateful for that, but when she appears to break every known law to sealing and chakra, he's not.

"That's," he blinks and he's not going to tell her it's impossible because it clearly isn't, "new," he settles on.

A mood honestly

Inoichi now feels the urge to bang his head against the table top, because 'a huge pain' to Natsu is 'literally impossible' to everyone else.

Another mood honestly

Inoichi watches his former genin dig in with resignation. “When are you guys going to start picking up the tab? Feeding you all isn’t cheap you know.”

Hana swallows her mouthful, “Sensei, I am but a lone healer’s apprentice –“

“I have been a chunin less than a month,” Kabuto pouts, wounded, “and already you seek to profit-“

“Do you have any idea how much sealing paper and ink costs?” Natsu demands.

“Okay, okay,” Inoichi grumbles, but it’s not very effective considering he’s smiling, “I take it back, jeez.”

Okay so, since this is a 100k+ word fic, I’ve been doing this thing lately literally just now on this fic review where I only feature quotes from the first chapter (Depending on length.) but, I’m making an exception because I’ve never seen these three characters and my thoughts on them summed up so well by someone I don’t know which is to say anyone, no one I know cares about my interests really lol

"Maybe a little," he admits grudgingly, "Sakura's really smart, but she acts dumb for some reason. And her endurance is really bad. She probably would have been failed on that alone if she didn't have such good aim with shuriken. And Sasuke's good at like, everything, I still don't get why he didn't graduate earlier. He's just so-" Kiba rubs his hand over his face.

"So what?" Hana prompts, even though she's heard this particular complaint before.

"Sad," the genin sighs, "He's miserable all the time, and he works hard and if you yell at him for long enough he'll work with you, but - crap, I don't know. He's got this really great poker face so you think he's just a big jerk, but I can smell his emotions, the big idiot, and he's just this sad lonely kid who won't listen to anyone."

Hana hums, because if she opens her mouth she'll probably start cursing the Hokage and his dumb rules and his dumb ideas, and that is not the type of thing that leads to a long life.

Just one last quote because dudes, guys, pals, friends of mine it’s important and you should all stop and read it.

 “Thanks for being cool with – everything. I’m really happy you’re not mad at me for not being honest with you.”

“You are my friend,” Gaara says warmly, “and you have always been honest about that.”

Words & Chapter(s): 136,306 words of greatness, and 6 full chapters of nicely done completion

Summary: When Naruto is five, he's gutted by a drunken civilian and presumed dead.

Six months later a girl with ash pale hair and dark blue eyes enters the Academy. 

(Guys I swear on my cool as fuck username, and all around internet personality as practically satan and probably Lucifer and whatnot that nobody we like stays dead or severely injured)

Score: 13, this is one of my favorites for a reason, this is actually my second technically third time rereading this in as many weeks

Pairing(s): Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka, background Haku/Zabuza, but don’t worry anything you’re thinking of is addressed quite nicely in the fic ultra background but still there’s a lot of relationships and I’m not going to tag them all

Warning(s): Naruto technically dies more than once because this is Naruto we’re talking about but they also technically don’t??? You gotta read it, but basically temporary character death, only the bad guys stay dead in this one.

Nobody knows that Naru-chan lived so there’s that angst for you, however, to be fair it’s not like this whole story is just characters mourning and crying and whatnot, at this point it’s mostly just passing thoughts and memories which, again, to be fair, does almost feel worse at times... Huh, regardless it’s not overly angsty

Kakashi is adopted whether he likes it or not by Natsu-chan, we love both of our emotionally fucked over fair-haired ninja in this house so you won’t have to worry about that sorta fic coming outta nowhere from me BTW... but anyways, Kakashi freaks out a bit, much like the abused dog he always reminds me of, but Natsu is the sweetest and most gentle, yet forceful person he could’ve possibly caught the attention of. (This is canon)

The Akatsuki are still bad, BUT ITACHI ISN’T technically SO WHO FUCKING CARES!!!! (The Massacre still happens tho...)

Mentions of The Flower District and what that implies, and also things a Kunoichi might definitely do

Oh my fucking god the Hyuga... Who would willingly do something so horrible as that? Of all the things... Warning for... The Hyuga branch family situation, it’s dealt with nearly as soon as we are informed but, gods, my blood ran cold, and my face whited out, my sister thought someone had died when she saw my face haha,,, who the fuck does this? And do they die? In canon I mean? I think I only watched up to the chunin exams or Pein’s attack, I can’t remember which tho...

Natsu cries because people are nice to her sometimes. And honestly that’s fair, I burst into to tears once because I imagined someone kissing my forehead softly so, Natsu is completely valid... Sidenote, I’m touch-starved and have no cure for this beyond younger siblings and my cat because I don’t have the ability to ask my mom for a hug without literally gross sobbing and I have A Thing about embarrassment sooooo... yeah if anyone has some therapy justu for me that’d be nice

Mentions of Gross Men that apparently want to have Natsu’s increasingly growing collection of the absolute most dangerous people she can befriend pay them a visit. And by that, I mean an old fuckwit has the gall to leer at a TEN-YEAR-OLD and a FUCKING THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD!!!!!! Ugh, I hate those kinds of pathetic worms.

On that note, there is technically underaged things going on, but they are also Ninja soooo???? They’ve killed people and are technically in their version of an army, and by the laws of their lands they’re all adults, actually I’m pretty sure by shinobi life expectancy Kakashi is middle-aged, Inoichi is a senior citizen, and Hiruzen is a walking corpse tbh

Alcoholism??? I don’t really think it is but I’m not sure, but some characters do drink often, and usually when stressed courtesy of Natsu and co. but still... I don’t actually know if it is because it doesn’t actually happen much, more like every few weeks/months

Mentions of past sexual assault, and attempted past sexual assault, neither happen in fic or to any of our main characters, the experiences are not graphic though they do talk about it in chapter five, it’s not to graphically described.

Also, a bunch of off-screen lemon

A Thing (That I copy-pasted from the author so that all of you will see it and not say a single word against it.): If you thought Natsu was too mature for her age - she has seen and been through some really horrible shit. But also: my cousin has, since he was like 4, hung out with kids that were about 4 years older than him because those were the kids that were in his neighborhood or whatever. Point being, even after he started school, his main group of friends was consistently older than him. He very quickly adapted to that, and to this day (he's 12) hangs out with that same group, and considers children his own age 'kids' because he adapted to the behavior of the group he was surrounded with. I hardly believe Natsu would be any different.

And also

4. Quick little note because some people mentioned liking my portrayal of the Sandaime. I base his decisions/motivations (and Itachi and Danzo's to a certain extent) around this quote by Clementine von Radics: "It is so hard to live half monster, to hurt everything you love by trying to protect it wrong."

Pros: Watching Natsu just casually disregard the idea of gender with little to no thought is the greatest thing anyone will ever experience beyond, I dunno, the party we’re all gonna collectively throw when soggy Cheeto dies (I still haven’t decided which song we should make chart number one when that happens)

Given that I’ve technically read this three times you should already know the writing is fucking amazing, like, whoa, mind blown type of amazing, like, wow, so good, I usually hate rereading something I’ve read before, and especially so soon after the fact but geez Louis is this fic amazing

Natsu is just as easy to fall in love with as Naruto, and they are still the same people with slightly different personalities as is to be realistically expected with a situation like Naru’s was.

Also, GENDERFLUID REPRESENTATION DONE FUCKING AMAZINGLY IS ALWAYS A PLUS!!!!!!! 

The author manages to convey a very realistic genderfluid character in an incredibly believable manner, while also still keeping Natsu/Naruto themself. They’re still the Naruto that we knew and loved, but they’re different too, as is to be expected. when Natsu is a girl no-one stumbles, she is a girl without a doubt, even the author doesn’t trip up on societal expectations, and when Naruto is a boy there is next to immediate acceptance of this fact with absolutely zero (0) Zero bullshit from transphobes, which, as a genderfluid person myself, is always fucking nice to see. You’ll have to read it to know more though.

Natsu running around creating seals is honestly the greatest thing ever, and the end scene with the village made me cry a lil bit, and dammit this fic is so fucking good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, there’s a scene, where Natsu heals Kakashi, and the way the author handled explaining the intimate not sexual relationship between two of my favorite characters ever is just, so subtly beautiful, the sibling-bond these two have is beautiful, and a part of me wants to cry sometimes when I read it, and usually do cry a little when I get to this scene, and only partially because of what happened directly before it.

I love the way everybody just gets up and moves past their trauma and just decides to politely ignore it, oh they still have it, they still deal with it, but they care, and they are careful about it, and even though it hurts them like a knife-wound to the kidney in slow-motion they still get back up and keep fucking going. That’s hella admirable and I can respect that, I can respect even more that they slowly but surely let themselves heal as time moves on. This fic is beautiful on so many different levels but it is this one perhaps, that is the most magnificent. Perhaps.

Sasuke is adorable and depressing and adorable and I love it. And Ino is still a bad bitch but she’s a kid so we only see it like a handful of times in the first two chapters. The Akimichi/Yamanaka/Nara are all great, and I occasionally pity Inionchicause like, he’s putting up with a well-informed seal genius that’s still hyper, a slightly frightening medic-kunoichi with giant dogs, another slightly more frightening medic-nin who isn’t the greatest fighter but damn can he be intimidating and also really good at pointing out “Certain Things” while judging you about them which, honestly, is my greatest pastime. Itachi is so sweet and then so tragic oh my gods, and Natsu never even considers giving up on him. Kakashi is so sweet, and he slowly becomes less of a beaten dog as time goes on and I just love all of these characters.

Except for Hiruzen. Well, no, I still love this particular incarnation of Hiruzen, for all that he’s got one hell of a pathetically small backbone, I get why he does shit. But that doesn’t make me happy. Still, he’s better than dumbledouchebag. Granted that’s not difficult, and you might have to actively put an effort in to be as bad as that guy, but still. Plus, his hearts in the right place, and he’s less about the greater good then... certain disgraces to teaching and being in charge of a large group of people... Hiruzen is actually kinda sweet and admits he has issues and actually has an excuse that’s understandable for the shit that he pulls which is great, if sadly uncommon.

Anyways, Sakura is terrifying, and I remembered why I had a crush on her. She’s so badass, also, she ends up Princess Mononoke basically which, honestly, is fucking great, and the best thing we could’ve asked for, I love all of these characters so much!!!

Aesthetic: It reminds me off beefy stew (We don’t eat beef, so we used vegan soy beef stuff instead, and it was just as good.) it reminds me of the warmth, and friendship, and home that I felt after my mom and I make dinner together with nothing but a little music on and jokes passing back and forth between us. It reminds me of scraping my knee and having my friends help me to their mom, it reminds me of loyalty and compassion. It reminds me of dancing outside at night, alone in the forest with nothing but the moon for company and wind for music. It reminds me of the first time I realized that I could love someone despite their gender and that I should despite mine. It reminds me of finely spun handmade lace, and all it’s delicate while also reminding me of the sturdiest of steels, it reminds me of so much. It reminds me of acceptance, and understanding, and so much more. If I were to say what food and drink it reminds me of, I’d say chicken noodle soup, and sweet lavender-lemon tea.

Music Aesthetic: So, I made a playlist while I was reading this the first time around, and instead of a gif or twenty like I would usually prefer to do I’m going to add that playlist. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLbhXmTSBbAyjk0m1b4BZUp3t0RHL83LDK

But if I were to add a gif or two it’d be these

Because something about this fic reminds me of rainy days with tea and baggy clothes.

Every time Natsu/Naruto decided to fight ever, to be honest.