#this particular episode rewatch was an experience

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Why so much on right now?

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

NOV 2024 Week 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

Your Sky (Sun iQIYI) ep 1 of 12 - Classic old school Thai BL. Of course I love it. Naïve sunshine freshman vs strict older protective boy (who already likes him but refuses to show it). Is he grumpy or just gay and tired of all of these women? We don’t know. We don’t care. We just want to see them fake a relationship. And that’s what we’re getting. I love it. I also love the friendship group, and that the younger brother is in it and he has some of the same magic BL-hottie superpowers as his older brother. It’s great.

Love Sick 2024 (Sun iQIYI) ep 10 of 15 - Phun actually turns into dangerous babygirl when he is flirting, who knew? (Dangerous Babygirl is a new archetype I have just invented by the way. Yes, I am pleased with myself.) Noh, who is a nice boy, doesn’t stand a chance. Neither does Jeed, since this new babygirl superpower gives Phun a damn near perfect “back off bitch” face.

The arm drape public claiming, it gets me every time. Has done since SOTUS. Nong Mick is hero-level in this version, hands-down my favorite character this time around (and a non-entity last time). I love him so much I can’t stand it. I haven’t updated my 1:1 comparison yet this week, didn’t have time to rewatch 2014, but I will later tonight.  I'm chronicling my experience with 2024 as compared to 2014 here. 

Kidnap (Fri Gaga) ep 12 end - What an absolutely excellent final episode. Smiley kisses! 

Conclusion 

A cute if patently absurd little show about a stuntman who is somehow convinced to kidnap a rich kid except they fall in love. It takes itself a little more seriously than it deserves for such a silly plot and some crappy stunts and contradictory content, but it was a pleasantly romantic experience all around, and I enjoyed myself. Extra credit for Q in that perfect blue color throughout. No complaints, a solid BL. 8/10 

The Heart Killers (Weds Gaga) ep 1 of 12 - Jojo directs FirstKhao & JoongDunk in an action romcom about assassin brothers (Khao & Joong) who meet a tattoo artist (First) and a cocky mechanic (Dunk). I'm highly amused that Joong plays the older brother to Khao and that we have a take on the Taming of the ShrewBL. This has all GMMTV's best chemistry in one BL and some fresh concepts that I've only seen tackled in m/m romance novels (check out Amy Lane's Racing for the Sun, thank me later). My only quibble is Jojo, I like his style but his characters can get unreliably messy so…... this gonna be interesting.

Buckle up buttercups I got thoughts:

Frankly, I haven’t decided if this is good or so bad and so camp that it’s good? The latter I suspect. Either way, I’m enjoying it very much, but I had very little doubt that I would. This falls into so many of my wheelhouses. Not just the premise but the casting and the approach and the script. They pretty much knocked it out of the park with the first episode: one night stand + safe sex + linguistic negotiation = I’m in! During the opening sequence I spent the entire time worried about how many fingerprints Bison was leaving everywhere. And then I realized this show is going to require DEMAND we turn our brains entirely off.

We are in KinnPorshce / The Sign territory people. Take emergency precautions! Do not engage brain meats!

Kiss Me Kate only gay and hitmen? Frankly, it sells itself. The music is extremely stupid though. (Brain, stop it!) I gotta say that FirstKhao are good because…… FirstKhao. But JoongDunk are absolutely perfectly cast. Like: couldn’t be a better pair in these roles. Dunk, in particular, is slaying. I did not have Dunk as Petruchio down on my “best casting choice of all time” BL bingo card, but apparently there he is. Awesome. 

Fourever You (Thurs YT) ep 8 of 16 - I’m warming up to the second couple a little bit. I actually don’t mind a bully romance the way some do. But this isn’t quite hitting the notes that I want from one. Still, I found this week more engaging than last week. 

Secret Love (? YT?) 1-12 of 81 eps - They dropped 12 eps at once randomly on YT totaling about 20 min. So of course, I watched it. Because I have no self-control and STEPBROTHERS! Adopted into a rich family, boy falls in love with heir. But when he is made the heir instead, everything goes wrong. Now enemies the two boys reunite and sparks! I hate this format but dammit I love this utter dross. It’s very early Chinese BL feeling but from Thailand. I don’t care. It’s so stupidly great. This is my kind of BL.

Caged Again (Fri Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - There is something sweetly innocent and earnest about this show. It reminds me of Takara and Amagi or even Light On Me but less stiff - this one is quintessentially quirky and casually Thai about it. It’s interesting that this has an 18+ rating, which means it’s either gonna go very violent or sexy or both. Right now I can’t imagine that, it doesn’t suit. But I’m looking forward to seeing where this goes. Junior with his Mean Girl crop top moment is the goddess of the week though. Fierce queen penguin.

Perfect 10 Liners (Sun YT?) ep 4 of 24 - I love the side couple so damn much. How are they so adorable? Still not wild about the mains, and not likely to get there anytime soon. That said, I did like seeing the “sleeping in your boyfriend‘s class while he gives you his jacket” trope drop. We haven’t had that one for a really long time. My Engineer maybe?

Every You Every Me (Mon Gaga) ep 7 of 8 - I did find this installment kind of boring. I just don’t like actors as main characters. Much as I’m enjoying this show and I think the actors are doing a good job, I really do wish it was more like what we had been sold on: Connected reborn characters fated to be together over and over again. Not this weird little mishmash of whatever. I’m now annoyed by a format I was initially charmed by. 

Jack & Joker (Mon IQIYI) ep 10-11 of 12 - still on hold until it ends or I can cope with the pain.  I just can’t go into darkness right now.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Our Youth AKA Miseinen: Mijukuna Oretachi wa Bukiyo ni Shinkochu (Japan Tues Gaga) ep 3 of 11 - SNIFF TEST! But done by Japan so it’s that much better and more kinky. The way H looks at M pretty much defines naked lust. “I got extra beat up so you’d take pity on me and then I admitted it to you” is so damn warped I can’t even with this boy. This feral kid is gonna drive me feral. The power and the control and the execution of this show is just spectacular. I keep thinking about it after its done and telling people IRL about it. (I rarely talk BL IRL.) It’s classy. I do love it when Japan does classy BL for us. 

See Your Love (Taiwan Weds Gaga) ep 6 of 13 - so completely and utterly adorable. The learning sign language thing! I loved it so much.

Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 10 of 12 eps - Possibly one of the best confessions of the year I have to say. Also a wonderful character growth arc for our lawyer. Exactly as one might hope. The plot twist was slightly predictable but still adds a delicious note of tension to our final episodes.

Blue Canvas of Youthful Days (China Sun iQIYI) eps 7-8 of 12 - You don’t want me but you won’t let anybody else have me either. The song of the repressed seme. I did like the irrational jealousy moment and a few other bits, of course the crying kiss. You know I love a crying kiss. Even if it’s a somewhat censored one. But this is also leaning a little bit darker than I want at the moment. This being China, I anticipate the darkness and doom getting worse not better.

Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 9 of ? - The incredible migrating lip injury continues. Could we please get on with the BL aspect of this show? I’m getting frustrated as well as slightly bored at this juncture. Pacing darlings. Pacing.

Love in the Air: Koi no Yokan (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 4 of 10 - Still not sure. I think I like this better than the original, but I’m confused. I did make disgusted scoff noises and say “oh dear” a couple of times. Which makes me sound like a World War II grandpa (only the housemate's cat noticed), but is also classic me when profoundly disappointed by a piece of media. That’s said, the sex scene was pretty good. In the end, I wasn’t as frustrated by this version of these characters, but they didn’t have as many highs or lows as the original. So first half probably works out about the same in my all-purpose rating system. The true proof in the pudding is going to be couple number 2 tho......

It's airing but......

Winter Is Not The Death of Summer (Weds YT) ?? eps - Criminals who meet in prison fall in love. I did find it on YouTube, but I did not find any English subs for it. The first episode seems to be only six minutes long. It is very pulp. But it is intriguing. So I hope it gets some sort of international or something at some point. for now I’ll put it to the wayside.

Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) 10 eps - I DNF'd at ep 7, I couldn't make it. I am weak. Life is hard enough right now, this show is making it harder. It’s not what I want from my entertainment.

Bad to Bed (Taiwan Sat YT) 10 eps - This is a little too low production value even for me + just very very odd. DNF

In Case You Missed it

Love for Loves Sake got some kind of special on 11/9. Not sure what, why, or where. Only the rumor that it...... is. I'll believe it when I see it...... literally. Let me know if you found it.

The Bangkok Podcast covered Marriage Equality in Thailand: More Complex Than it Seems. They missed some of the point and all of the queer perspective. But it's a local lawyer talking about it and how it was implemented, which is quite interesting.

Dominant Yakuza and Wimpy Corporate Slave AKA Ore-sama Yakuza to Hetare Shachiku: Kuni wo Koeta Jingi Naki Dekiai, Japan YT. A 30 min slice of ridiculousness. This mini walked out the back of one of my 1999 yaoi (you know those little shorts they always had along with the main story?) and randomly got cut together by some helpful malcontent, tumbled into my YT feed like a Taiwanese prat fall, and I couldn't be happier.

This is the Cliff's notes of a story that could have been amazing, but I adored it anyway. Basically what it says on the tin: office cutie from Taiwan working in Japan runs across hot AF mafia hit man beating up lesser thugs. Falls instantly in love, turns out so does the yakuza. They end up together for...... reasons? (one is cute and the other is cool?) That's it. It's dumb and I loved it. 7/10 because it really isn't good, but it lives on in a very warped corner of my shriveled old heart.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Still to come:

11/28 Spare Me Your Mercy (Thai Thurs iQIYI) 8 eps on OneD (no word on inter) - Increased rates of deaths in terminal patients has a police captain investigating the palliative care doctor with whom he's fallen in love. Their relationship deepens but the mystery persists, driven by mistrust. Adapted from the novel "Euthanasia" by Sammon (Triage, Manner of Death) stars some old guard BL actors: Tor Thanapob from Hormones as the doctor and (fuck me YES) Jaylerr from Great Men Academy and goddamn Grean Fictions as the captain!

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

We stan a smitten seme who's too reserved for his own good. Sunshine is gonna have this boy wrapped around his little finger in no time. (Well in 12 eps, but we know what we like!) Your Sky

King behavior.

Dangerous Babygirl behavior.

Both Love Sick 2024.

(last week)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

[stopthefeeling]

On the tenth anniversary of Matt Smith regenerating into Peter Capaldi, I'm thinking of my relationship with the doctors - my reaction to their casting announcement and my feelings once they showed up on screen.

With Matt Smith's announcement, I was bereft. I was out for a family dinner in Glasgow on the night he was announced and specifically wanted to avoid my day being ruined by the announcement. Of course, one of those electronic screens with breaking news in the town centre told me anyway. He was so young, so odd, but of course anyone would've been wrong. David was my doctor, the first doctor I watched live, and so it wasn't an issue with Matt himself but in the possibility of change.

When David regenerated, as a stubborn ten year old I refused to accept the new doctor. Series 5 won me over, of course, and a new age of love for the show began, one with countless rewatches at sleepovers and theorising in Morrisons over what the resolution to That Cliffhanger could possibly mean.

By series 7, I was jaded. The resolutions to Those Cliffhangers were never nearly as clever or as exciting as I'd thought up in my head, and the trailer for series 7a was dire. Despite my love for Asylum of the Daleks, A Town Called Mercy brought the first ever episode I didn't watch live, and didn't bother catching up on for many years. Watching The Angels Take Manhattan, I discovered true disappointment. This was the first episode where every minute felt like a betrayal, everything wrong with the world. I rewatched for the first time a couple of years ago and unfortunately I still feel the same! Then came Clara. I disliked her intensely, to the point where I was banned from watching the show after The Rings of Akhaten (I snuck round to my friend's house to watch Cold War) and didn't watch again until Name of the Doctor.

Then came the news Matt was regenerating. An excerpt from a note of my thoughts at the time "I can't say I'm too surprised, but I don't know how I feel about it. I guess I'm disappointed but I won't miss him too much. I have mixed feelings. I guess if it was the Pond era then I would've been really sad but not so much with Clara." Of course, the rumours of his replacement quickly began, and Peter Capaldi was the frontrunner from very early on. I hadn't seen him in anything (other than Doctor Who but I don't remember having any opinion on his performance there) but I was okay with the rumours. Watching him come out of the doorway on Doctor Who Live: The Next Doctor, something settled within me. It was instant - this was the doctor. Despite my lack of knowledge about him, everything in me screamed that he was born to play the doctor. The future was in safe hands.

I won't bother going over my feelings about Day of the Doctor, that's for another day if ever, but I was suitably excited to see Peter's eyebrows, and went on about them for ages after the episode. In the end, when Matt regenerated, I was sad. It was an emotional episode and despite my opinion souring by the end, he had been such a big part of my life and shaped the way I consumed media and shared my love of television with friends after the primary school playgrounds were left behind. And then we met Twelve and saw a preview of series 8, and all my sadness faded into sheer excitement.

Series 8 brought a trip to Cardiff for the premiere of Deep Breath. Fifteen year old me was captivated by the red carpet and all the actors who we were yet to meet (Samuel Anderson! Michelle Gomez!) and Peter and Jenna themselves! (Jenna especially in that red dress, how I didn't know I liked girls from that day is truly a mystery.) The episode itself was... bad, even if it took me several years to admit it, but my love for the show felt as though it was at a peak all over again - and actually the red carpet experience was probably a foundation for going to soap awards and comic cons going forward. Waiting 3 weeks for the second episode was agony, as was the two week wait to talk about the episode itself - the clockwork droids had relatives! The gatekeeper of nethersphere showed up in the first episode?!?!?!? Was the half-face man pushed or did he jump? (Still waiting on the answer to that one Moffat.)

To cut a long story short, series 8 was everything. Series 9... not so much. My disappointment and anger over series 7 was back, in a limited way after Zygon Invasion/Zygon Inversion, but after Heaven Sent in a massive way. I felt the show was ruined again. Then came series 10 and, to put it bluntly, any companion that wasn't Clara was a win in my books. Bill did more than win me over though! Series 10 was a triumph and is still my favourite series. I was devastated at the thought of losing Peter. He was my second favourite doctor, next to David (he was joint favourite even then really but I was still so in love with the tenth doctor that I wasn't willing to admit it to myself and honestly it's only been in the last two years that I've admitted to myself and others that he's now my actual favourite).

The Kris Marshall rumours began and continued relentlessly, and I hated it. Despite my misgivings over a female doctor back in 2013, I was now in favour of a more diverse doctor. I could not handle another white man. It was with trepidation that I watched the dreadful Wimbledon final (nothing against Wimbledon, everything against RF), praying that Kris Marshall wasn't about to appear in front of my screen. I had a shrine next to me, dressed up and filmed my reaction, it was all very cute. Jodie emerged from under the hood and my relief was immense. Some of my tumblr tags from that day "I've never yelled so much in my life, she was outstanding in broadchuch and I just??? It hasn't sunk in yet, I've been watching this show since I was 7 and never in my wildest dreams did I actually believe we'd get a woman doctor, and someone as amazing as her. I can't believe my fave character as a kid is now a girl, she was already an icon but now she can be an inspiration to thousands of little girls like I was". It was a breath of fresh air and despite how sad I was to lose such an amazing doctor, I knew the future was in safe hands - mostly. Privately, I worried. Jodie had been amazing in Broadchurch but I'd only ever seen her act miserable and I wasn't sure she had the range to pull off the light hearted, fun aspects of the doctor that were so central to the doctor. Still, I was so hopeful.

The regeneration episode came and I fell head over heels from the moment the ring dropped to the floor. I remember thinking how lucky I was, that I could love a show so much that I was so devastated to lose such an amazing character, but know the future was so bright. In a way thirteen would put it eventually - two hearts; one happy, one sad. I had nothing to be worried about after all. Her era brought the brightest and happiest time of my life as a doctor who fan - I finally met the doctor! I engaged properly with the fan community and made amazing friends. I got to see a sapphic doctor who relationship front and centre. Flux brought my second favourite ever series, and gosh, Yaz is just my favourite companion ever, joining Bill and Rose as the companions that have my entire heart. I've never felt so loved by a show.

Bringing us (mostly) to now. Jodie announced she was leaving on the day I left my job which was mostly very funny to me but honestly the whole thing wasn't terribly unexpected - she'd filmed three series like the previous three doctors, and I'm sure there were rumours going around before that she was going. It was almost a year before Ncuti was announced and my reaction was very ?????? because it was all so lowkey and weird. But I was excited! I hadn't seen Ncuti in everything but it was about time we had a doctor of colour and he's Scottish so that was enough for me! A little disappointed it wasn't a woman again but I know we'll get more chances to be the doctor. And he's great so far! I love his energy and he's such a fantastic advocate for the show. I'm so excited to see his take on the doctor properly and I'm sure that once again, the best is yet to come.

Peter Capaldi, though, I've never had such an instant reaction to a casting announcement, with no worries, no sense of disappointment, nothing but pure joy. And my goodness, was I right to be so sure. Peter, I adore you. Happy ten years, my love.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

now my logical followup is rewatching rogue one for the first time since seeing it (multiple times) in theaters i believe? Will i cry a lot, which i am always prone to do w/media & things but all the more so lately, it seems

[crazymecjc]

I LOVE PERSONA FOUR I LOVE YU NARUKAMI I LOVE YOSUKE HANAMURA I LOVE THE POWER OF BONDS GRGRGRGRGRGRGRGR

[kinnporscherewatch]

KinnPorsche La Forte Rewatch Event 2023

It's been over 1 year since KinnPorsche aired, so if you miss it, want to experience it again with other people or watch it for the first time, join us for a collective rewatch! Don't know what KinnPorsche is? Check this trailer out and consider watching the whole show about romance between a mafia boss and his bodyguard. It has gays, pretty men, crime, murder, sex, some insane crack, bread ads, wattpad y/n fan meets idol romance is there, ball frying happens and many more fun things!

Schedule: August 1st to August 16th

Time: no particular time limits, as long as it's the specific episode's assigned day in your time zone, watch it! If you can't watch that day, don't worry, catch up in the next few days! This event's organisers will be watching at 20:00 Bangkok time (GMT+7), if you want to follow our time.

Streaming On: iQIYI with subscription (or any other way you can, but check that you are watching the uncut version)

How To Participate: — Rewatch episodes — Liveblog your rewatch — Create content: gifs, art, meta, memes, fics, shitposts, fanvideos and anything else you can think of — Reblog posts by other participants — Tag your liveblogging and content with #kprewatch2023 so we can reblog them

Day by Day Schedule: Aug 1 ep. 1 Aug 2 ep. 2 Aug 3 ep. 3 Aug 4 ep. 4, Vegas trailer Aug 5 ep. 5, Kinn/Porsche trailer Aug 6 ep. 6 Aug 7 rest/catching up Aug 8 sidestory, ep. 7 Aug 9 ep. 8 Aug 10 ep. 9 Aug 11 rest/catching up Aug 12 ep. 10 Aug 13 ep. 11, VegasPete trailer Aug 14 ep. 12 Aug 15 ep. 13, WDYS m/v, Pete trailer Aug 16 ep. 14

Reblog this post if you can so that more people know they can join ❤️‍🔥🍞🔪⛓🎸🏳️‍🌈 Messages and asks are open for questions and suggestions!

[roryelijah02]

Daryl's Cycle Of Feelings: An Analysis

On my most recent rewatch of The Walking Dead flagship show, I've come to notice a pattern when it comes to Daryl, in particular when it comes to his feelings towards Carol. I like to call this theory Daryl's Cycle Of Feelings and I will henceforth explain what this means in my analysis down below.

In my opinion, Daryl has been fascinated and intrigued by Carol since the beginning of the show. I think his romantic feelings for her developed quite early on, at least by the end of season 2. However, due to his past experiences and insecurities, it took him a while to realise what these feelings were and what they meant, let alone be able to build the courage and confidence to be able to act on them.

During season 3, there is a period of time when Daryl and the rest of the group believe Carol to be dead. Until he finds her in season 3 episode 6, Hounded, two episodes later, Daryl is heartbroken and full of grief, shown by how he leaves a Cherokee Rose on her makeshift grave and bravely prepares himself to put her walker down. I feel like he has a lot of regrets with regards to not telling her how he feels during this period of time. Then it turns out Carol is alive and Daryl realises he hasn't lost her after all but I think from this happening, he began to learn just how short life is, especially in the zombie apocalypse. He realises he needs to tell Carol how he feels before anything else happens and it's too late, so he begins to build up the courage to do so...

But then Carol gets banished from the group by Rick in Season 4 Episode 4, Indifference, and when Daryl finds out from Rick in season 4 episode 8, Too Far Gone, he's devastated because not only does he think he's lost her forever, he also realises he's lost his chance to tell her how he feels, again. I believe Daryl was all but ready to head out to go and find her but then the Governor attacked the prison and it was too late. When he reunites with Carol at Terminus, he believes he's been given another chance and the cycle starts over again. He's reminded how short life is (especially in the apocalypse) reminds himself he needs to tell her before it's too late and builds up the courage to do so...

But then he realises that something really bad happened whilst Carol was out on the road with Tyreese, Lizzie, Mika and Judith and just as he's considering whether now is the right time to tell Carol his feelings or not, the decision is made for him when she gets hit by a car and taken by the people of Grady Hospital in Season 5 episode 6, Consumed. When Carol is rescued from Grady, Daryl's cycle begins again. He reminds himself how short life is (especially in the apocalypse), reminds himself he needs to tell her and builds up the courage to do so...

But then they arrive at Alexandria and Carol, so caught up in her grief and trauma over what happened whilst she was out on the road with Tyreese and the girls, begins a fling with Tobin and begins to separate herself from Daryl and the rest of the group. She believes that she's not worthy of them and their love anymore and doesn't want to kill anymore, so she leaves and then not long after, the Saviour war happens. When the Saviour war is over, Daryl's cycle begins again. He reminds himself how short life is (especially in the apocalypse), he reminds himself he needs to tell her how he feels and builds up the courage to do so...

But then Carol becomes close to Ezekiel and Henry and gets into a romantic relationship with Ezekeil, eventually agreeing to marry him and Daryl being Daryl who is always going to put Carol first, puts his feelings to the side and selflessly gives Carol his blessing for her to marry Ezekiel. After Henry's death and the breakdown of Carol's marriage to Ezekiel, Daryl begins to think that maybe he has another chance and his cycle of feelings begins again. He remembers how short life is (especially in the apocalypse), he reminds himself he needs to tell Carol how he feels and he builds up the courage to do so...

But then the Whisperer War begins and Carol is overcome with grief over Henry's death, wanting to protect the people she loves and wanting revenge on Alpha and justice for Henry's death. Daryl realises that even though he is now at a stage where he's more than ready to tell Carol how he feels, it's not the right time for her to hear it. When the Whisperer War ends, Daryl's cycle begins again. He's reminded how short life is (especially in the apocalypse and after he's come the closest he's ever been to losing Carol in this war), he reminds himself he needs to tell Carol how he feels and he builds up the courage to do so...

But then the war with the Commonwealth begins and Daryl worries he's going to lose Carol again, this time to the hands of Lance Hornsby. But Carol survives and Daryl couldn't be more relieved. However, Maggie tells Daryl it's now time to start leaving the community and finding what else is out there and when Carol confirms she's opting to stay behind, Daryl's cycle begins all over again. He realises how short life is (especially in the apocalypse), he reminds himself he needs to tell her how he feels and this time, he realises, that with him going away and not knowing when he'll be coming back, that it's now or never and so he builds up the courage to do so and finally, at the last moment, he tells her he loves her and of course, she reciprocates.

[waitmyturtles]

SOME GOOD SHOWS THAT I LIKED IN 2023! (AND SOME THAT I DIDN'T)

I watched A LOT of stuff that did not originally air in 2023 by dint of my Old GMMTV Challenge. This list is inclusive of this recognition!

THE BEST SHOW I WATCHED THIS YEAR: HE'S COMING TO ME

I have no other words: this is my favorite Thai BL of all time. Perfect length, perfect plot, perfect celebration of Thai culture, perfect acting, the greatest coming out scene of all time, the BEST of the best BL moms. Perfection.

THE OTHER BEST SHOW I WATCHED THIS YEAR: BAD BUDDY

I don't even want to think about how many words I've written on Bad Buddy this year, but they're well deserved for this REMARKABLE show. I've got a thing for shows by Aof Noppharnach that feature Ohm Pawat, what can I say!

THE MOST INFLUENTIAL SHOW(S) I WATCHED THIS YEAR: LOVE SICK AND SOTUS

The influence of Love Sick and SOTUS can be seen in SO MANY Thai BLs, even through today. Without having watched these two shows to start my OGMMTVC project, I wouldn't have the context for what later shows like Bad Buddy and Theory of Love were commenting on by way of their content and structures. Love Sick in particular was a HELL of a lift -- but I am damn glad I watched it, and I certainly feel nostalgia for it today.

Honorable mentions of influential pieces that had impacts on Thai BLs: Love of Siam and Dew the Movie

MY OTHER FAVORITE OLD SHOWS I WATCHED: UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN AND THEORY OF LOVE

BANGERS!!!

If New Siwaj ever tops Until We Meet Again, I'll fly to Bangkok and give him a gold medal. That long-ass show, 17 EPISODES, I WANTED MORE! OhmFluke's chemistry was great, the story delved SO deeply into historical homophobia and how culture and acceptance changes over time -- scrumptious. Theory of Love, man, the way this show ate up implicit compassion bias and gave it right back to us. I loved it. KHAI FOREVER!

THE BEST SHOW I WATCHED THAT ACTUALLY AIRED IN 2023: MOONLIGHT CHICKEN

Not only was Moonlight Chicken my first real live fandom experience on Tumblr, it was a hell of an amazing show, incorporating so much of what I love particularly about Thai BLs, and how many Thai BLs do not shy away from celebrating Asian cultural touchpoints. From exploring Jim's internalized homophobia by way of his rural upbringing, to juxtaposing Pattaya's spiritual symbols with growing development that upends older strains of local culture, Moonlight Chicken offered a lovely commentary on what it means to be queer in an ever-changing Thailand.

THE OTHER BEST SHOW I WATCHED THAT ACTUALLY AIRED IN 2023: WHAT DID YOU EAT YESTERDAY?/KINOU NANI TABETA? SEASON 2

BRILLIANTLY ACTED by literally the best actors in the Asian BL game: we are blessed that Nishijima Hidetoshi and Uchino Seiyou have given so much to this franchise. It's hard to write about this show because it's so perfect -- it needs no extraneous words. Plot, pacing, acting, character development, gratuitous food shots. It has it all.

THE OTHER OTHER BEST SHOW I WATCHED THAT ACTUALLY AIRED IN 2023: I CANNOT REACH YOU

Just like Bad Buddy looked at Thai BL tropes in the eye and said, "over my Nong Nao," I Cannot Reach You asked Japanese BLs about the efficacy of almost every trope we've gotten used to, and questioned them with efficiency. The biggest shocker for me? REAL COMMUNICATION, encouraged by the CIPHER, Hosaka, that allowed the two lead protagonists to confirm their love and understand each other. It was straightforward and FUCKING GOOD.

A SHOW THAT AIRED IN 2023 THAT I HAVEN'T WRITTEN ABOUT YET, THAT I NEED TO REWATCH IN CHRONOLOGY, THAT ALSO DID SOME TROPE/GENRE ASS-KICKING THAT I'M STILL THINKING ABOUT: LA PLUIE

La Pluie was FEARLESS. The show had a LOT to say about romance and soulmates not being as much of a realistic thing as content-makers... and, frankly, majority society would like us to think. La Pluie made its characters WORK for love and understanding, and had us viewers face our implicit biases about how romantic content should and could work. I watched this show out of order of the OGMMTVC watchlist to see it it was one of the best of the year, and it certainly is. I'm planning a deep rewatch for early 2024 to pen my words on it.

A SHOW THAT ALMOST TOPPED MY 2023 LIST BUT GOT DOCKED BECAUSE I ENDED UP LIKING THE NOVEL A LOT BETTER: I FEEL YOU LINGER IN THE AIR

@neuroticbookworm and @lurkingshan know that I flipped THA FUCK out over this show -- FABULOUSLY acted by Nonkul Chanon and Bright Rapheephong, FABULOUS cinematography, great story up until the end of the series. My fangirling led me to read the original novel by Violet Rain, and -- I found out that Jom was a lot more damn sassy than we got in the show! Tee Bundit's penchant for sadness won. This is not to dock the show, but the novel had more than enough material to carry the series through without repeating themes in the end. So it fell on my 2023 list, womp womp. BUT I STILL LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS SHOW, DON'T GET ME WRONG.

TWO SHOWS THAT I'M SUPER GLAD I CAUGHT UP WITH WHILE THEY WERE AIRING: THE EIGHTH SENSE AND BE MY FAVORITE

Be My Favorite looked at Krist Perawat's checkered past as a BL idol and said: we are going to examine this and make an honest BL out of inspiration from it. It wasn't a perfect show, the time travel shit didn't end up adding up in the end, BUT -- excellent acting from two GMMTV VETS made up for those tangles, and I loved the contextual philosophical references throughout the series. The Eighth Sense looked at the tug-of-war that Korean BLs have with K-dramas and their tropes and said, actually? We will have these dudes full-frontal kiss, and placed that energy against commentaries on mental health, both topics that Korea hasn't quite embraced as quickly as other countries.

HONORABLE MENTIONS OF OTHER AWESOME SHOWS THAT MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE AIRED IN 2023

Make It Right, Our Dating Sim, Dark Blue Kiss, Gay OK Bangkok, Dirty Laundry, 10 Years Ticket, I Told Sunset About You, I Promised You the Moon, 3 Will Be Free, Lovely Writer (underrated?!), Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars (UNDERRATED!), and Manner of Death.

And the shows that are airing that I know will stay with me well into 2024: Last Twilight and Cherry Magic Thailand.

I had fun!

WHAT ELSE, WHAT ELSE: THE "NO" SHOWS: THE PROMISE AND STEP BY STEP

I'm not even hyperlinking my thoughts on these shows, nor gifting them with gifs. Insert Bugs Bunny NOOOOOO gif here! We got Man Trisanu, though.

THE SHOW I WAS THE MOST OBVIOUSLY DISAPPOINTED BY: ONLY FRIENDS

Despite my passionate disappointment for this show and how it ended: in the context of the OGMMTVC, Only Friends is still an incredibly important inclusion to the list. Some amazing Tumblr bloggers offered commentary that the bias against sex that OF contained within the show was actually importantly and culturally contextual to the still-conservative state of acceptance that Thailand is currently in (here and here for more reading).

Only Friends reminded us that despite any kind of marketing that we here on Tumblr, as a majority non-Thai audience, may receive about a Thai show -- that we are still not fully plugged into the non-verbal expectations of what a show like OF could promise to do, and to be okay when it doesn't reach those heights. In light of the seemingly pro-sex marketing blasts that previewed the series before its airing, OF ultimately seemed to want to take casual sex, chew it up, and spit it out. There might be reasons why that happened that we just don't know about as outsiders to Thailand. But as an Asian-American viewer that was hoping for neutral -- and maybe even supportive -- commentary on single folks having casual sex without judgement, OF did not deliver for me.

I'm ending the year reading Dr. Thomas Baudinette's book, Boys Love Media in Thailand, the first book-length ethnographic study on the impact of BL on queerness, media, and more in Thailand and across Asia. Baudinette comes from the world of Japanese queer media studies -- as someone who came to Thai BLs this year from Japanese BLs, I appreciate his trajectory. It's clearly a necessity for me to read this book in the context of the OGMMTVC, to understand how Thai BLs have changed over time, and to understand the incredibly larger impact of heterosexual/heteronormative media and themes on Thai media as a whole, as larger and larger swaths of Thai, Asian, and international societies welcome and watch BLs with open arms.

All of this feeds into my ever-growing body of knowledge about the impact of Thai BLs, both in Thailand and across Asia, as Baudinette writes about, and how these shows have and are developed/developing over time. It's been an AMAZING YEAR of watching old and new dramas for me, and I'm looking forward to seeing how the genre grows even more in 2024.

I also made AMAZING FRIENDS on Tumblr -- y'all know who you are! What a year of growth and discovery for me: this has been a fabulous experience, and I'm looking forward to even more growth in the new year!

[starryalpacasstuff]

Knock Knock Boys: A Queer Asian Lens

I didn't watch Knock Knock Boys as it was airing, because it didn't really seem like the kind of show I'd be into. However, this post by @lurkingshan and @waitmyturtles' enthusiastic recommendation convinced me to give it a shot. Having binged the entirety of the series in a day, I can say that the show was an absolute delight to watch.

I've seen plenty of people talking about how wonderfully sex positive the show was, so I'm not going to bother with going too much into it, but I will say that the drama clearly showed the kind of sex education and awareness that is desperately needed around the world. I also really liked how Lukpeach and Latte were the ones responsible for pretty much all of the sex education in the show. It was very realistic in that, in my experience, it's extremely common for teenagers and young adults to get a majority of their knowledge about sex from their friends and the internet. The show had a very clear message about the importance of talking freely about sex with younger generations, because the taboo on the topic only harms teenagers in the long run.

Now, besides that, there was one more issue that I thought the show did wonderfully: it showed how asian kids are often hesitant to discuss things with their parents because they assume the worst in the beginning. I'm having some trouble articulating this, because it's such an abstract, ingrained concept to me, so forgive me if this is incoherent. I'm also generalizing my experience as an Indian, so please do correct me if I'm wrong here. That being said, having been raised in a society that values respect and listening to elders without question, discussing alternate ideas with parents can be a very difficult thing for most of us. It's easy to assume what parents would say to an idea and decide that trying to convince them otherwise is a task that is either futile or requires too much energy.

The best way I can describe is that the mindset becomes "It's better to ask for forgiveness if you get caught instead of asking for permission straight away". For example, had Almond asked his mother if he could stay with three other guys, she would've most definitely flat out refused, since she would've had a lot of preconceived notions about the idea. But, because Almond is able to show her that he's happy as he was, she was perfectly fine with him continuing to stay with the others. I think that's the hallmark of most asian parents, they want us to be happy but they're convinced that they know what kind of life will make us happy. They did something similar with Peak and his father, but my feelings on that are a little more complex, so we'll come back to this.

Peak and Thanwa, man. I loved Latte and Almond but these two just stole the show for me. I know some people felt frustrated with Peak's dallying and hesitance, but I just felt so sad for him, and something about his situation just hit very close to home. And Seng, the actor that he is. One particular moment that stuck with me was the scene when he leaned against the door while Jumper attacked Max. I must've rewatched that moment half a dozen times, because his acting was impeccable. I will say, I wish that they'd given us a better resolution on the arc after Max, but those are mostly minor quibbles. What I really wanted to talk about was the arc with Peak's father. Peak gathering the courage to tell his father with the support from his found family was beautiful. The scene at Knock Knock House the day before Peak left was one of the most magnificent, emotionally charged scenes I've seen in asian ql in a while. Coming from a societ wherein arranged marriage is the norm, the storyline hit hard in all the right places.

But. I did not love the resolution of the arc. I think we've had some conversation about how some shows try to be both in the bubble and out of the bubble simultaneously, and the last two episodes of the show felt a little like that. From what we knew about the father, it felt almost too easy for him to simply accept everything right away. There should have been some struggle for reconciliation. I know that the show has a theme of assumptions and lack of communication disrupting parent-child relationships, but in this case how fast they move on just seems unrealistic. My cynicism aside, even if we assume that the father wasn't homophobic, there should've been more of a conversation on the breaking of the engagement! The social implications, the father asking him why he didn't say anything for so long, Jane's involvement (how did the father know that she knew about this?). The only argument I can see against this is that the father, while initially put off by the revelation, chose to act otherwise to support his son. But then, he most likely wouldn't have insisted they take his car. And there still should've been some sort of a conversation about the engagement. Arranged marriages have a purpose; it's to provide financial and social security. I find it extremely hard to believe that a father who arranged a marriage for his son wouldn't have so much as discuss the implications of being gay with him. They tried to have the engagement have consequences with the wedding banquet, but the resolution for that really only made it worse. This is cynical of me, but I simply cannot suspend my disbelief enough to believe that the entire wedding party was perfectly happy with the turn of events. This whole resolution just seemed out of place in a show that was otherwise so wonderfully grounded in reality while still being absolutely hilarious. I think, if the show had done something a little more similar to GAP, it would've felt more realistic.

All of that aside, I really did enjoy watching the show. It was hilarious and heartwarming, and the characters were absolutely wonderful. The resolution of the final arc did drag it down a little, but I would be lying if I said that watching two queer couples get to celebrate their relationships with their community didn't warm my heart at all (Also, side note- Jane having a girlfriend was a brilliant subversion). All in all, it's a great series. It definitely felt like something new and fresh compared to the kind of qls that I've been watching lately.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed, Episode 39 Part 3

(Masterpost) (Pinboard)  (whole thing on AO3)    

Warning! Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Days of Future Past

After they leave Yi City, the gang comes to a proper town where there is a lantern festival going on, or else it's just a town that is really nuts about lanterns.

The juniors go shopping, looking at random trinkets, cell-phone cases, sunglasses, and electric toys that will break as soon as you get them home. Wait, that's my local mall I'm thinking of. But it's the same idea, pretty much.

Judging by the dream catchers hanging up on the right, this particular Ancient-China kiosk is owned by a traveling Ojibwe person.

Sizhui experiences a callback to symbolism from the past as he looks at an array of toy insects.

Jin Ling toy shames him, and Lan Jingyi comes to his defense.

Toys are for every age, people. Even if you outgrow one style of play, there's a lot of ways to enjoy toys, including tucking them in your robe and pulling them out to look at them whenever you have a memory cascade.

When Sizhui was young, he looked at toys with Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian didn't give him the toys, however, because "asking is asking, buying is buying." For Wei Wuxian, there was always a vast chasm between what he wanted and what he could actually have. Lan Wangji, of course, promptly gave A-Yuan toys, including a version of this grass butterfly.

The last time we saw A-Yuan with the butterfly is the last time A-Yuan saw Wei Wuxian. WWX frightened him and he dropped his butterfly, and everything went to shit after that. So I think it's fair to say the butterfly symbolizes some stuff.

(More after the cut!)

Jingyi points out to Sizhui that they have all of this same stuff at home in Gusu, which is what happens in a franchise-based retail economy.

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian enter the market together, but Wei Wuxian quickly runs ahead, enjoying the energy and the sights. Grown-up Lan Wangji, unlike his younger self, seems perfectly comfortable in this crowded and busy environment.

Lan Wangji pauses at a seller's stall to experience his own callback to the past, as he contemplates a lantern with rabbits on it.

Here the show the show restrains itself and does not show us a flashback to the rabbit lantern of the past. That's ok, though; the first lantern scene is one of the most memorable in the show, so we can just replay it in our heads.

Back then, Wei Wuxian made a special lantern for Lan Wangji, and they released it together. That was the first time we saw Lan Wangji smile, and it's also when Wei Wuxian's pledge of chivalry turned their mutual interest/attraction into something much deeper.

While Lan Wangji and Lan Sizhui are contemplating lost things from the past (sky lanterns, by their nature, are losses, but in a nice way), Wei Wuxian is confronting one of his own losses.

He sees a little kid running to a vendor, and his mind's eye sees A-Yuan.

Lan Wangji sees Wei Wuxian's reaction to the child, and he stops looking at the lantern to watch Wei Wuxian instead.

When Wei Wuxian realizes that the child is not, in fact, A-Yuan, the air goes out of him.

Is it too cruel of me to point out that while Wei Wuxian's heart is breaking from realizing that A-Yuan could not possibly be shopping for toys in this market, the real A-Yuan, Lan Sizhui, actually is shopping for toys in this market?

Wei Wuxian allows himself to feel things, for a moment--and when he turns around and sees Lan Wangji watching him, he doesn't immediately paste a fake smile onto his face, which is some kind of relationship growth.

Lan Wangji takes this opportunity to say "hey, Wei Ying, I forgot to mention that A-Yuan isn't dead."

Ha ha ha ha ha of course he doesn't say that. He's waiting for the right moment to share this information, and Lan Wangji has no idea what constitutes a right moment for verbalizing anything. If he can't use his sword to communicate his devotion or his disappointment, he's in a pickle.

Also, Lan Wangji is aware of the popular Wuxia trope of "lone survivor of a massacred clan grows up to seek revenge," and the rules say you can't reveal the survivor's identity until they have gotten a job as the bodyguard and/or concubine of their enemy's innocent heir. Sizhui has made a good start by befriending Jin Ling, but he's not showing much inclination to revenge, so Lan Wangji is stuck for now.

Like a Lantern in the Dark

When Wei Wuxian sees the lantern next to Lan Wangji, he breaks into a genuine, sunny smile, and runs up to very gently tease LWJ about it.

Like a lantern in the dark, Follow on now, follow your heart

Back then the lantern had a single rabbit, and was a gift from Wei Wuxian. Lan Wangji said he's used to doing things alone, and Wei Wuxian said that he can change. This rabbit lantern has two rabbits, and is about to be a gift from Lan Wangji to Wei Wuxian. Because Lan Wangji has changed.

"Lan Zhan, let's buy it"

Wei Wuxian has also changed. He asks for what he wants, instead of just wishing, and is delighted when Lan Wangji gives it to him. The lantern, people. Lan Wangji gives the lantern to him.

They take the lantern together, walk with it together, and immediately give it to (their son) Sizhui, telling him to take good care of it. Sizhui is confused but Jingyi knows what's up. Look how happy he is that his favorite teacher has a boyfriend.

I'm pretty sure ceremonial lantern-giving is going to be incorporated into Gusu weddings from now on, at least weddings where there is already a kid who needs a special role in the ceremony.

Brotherly

The kids tell Lan Wangji that Zewu-Jun is here to see him, and Lan Wangji makes this face:

Holy fuck, what is going on between the Lan brothers? It occurs to me that we haven't seen them together since Wei Wuxian came back to life. They were close, in the before times, but 33 lashes and 3 years of forced seclusion might have changed things.

Wei Wuxian gets back into his mask, and they go and show the sword spirit to Lan Xichen. Lan Xichen...absorbs it...into his body? What is actually happening here?

I mean, it looks cool, but that can't be healthy.

Now that Nie Mingjue's body has been - mostly - found, his fears are confirmed. He says that Nie Mingjue qi-deviated in public and "all his veins were broken," which I'm pretty sure should actually be translated "all his meridians were broken." Meridians are what carry your qi around your body. After that happened, nobody knew what happened to him and/or his body.

So he's sad about this, but not shocked. I feel like Lan Xichen maybe could have tried harder to find out what happened, but he never was as stubborn as Lan Wangji.

You Don't Know Him Like I Do

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji point out that Jin Guangyao is the obvious suspect in the current situation, but Lan Xichen doesn't want to hear it; he literally turns his back on them while he explains all the reasons Jin Guangyao couldn't be the person who's in control of the Yin tiger seal.

Lan Wangji is hard to read in this conversation; he lets Wei Wuxian do the talking. But he seems deeply suspicious of Jin Guangyao, and is maybe kinda resigned to his brother refusing to hear him.

I wonder how many sketchy things Lan Xichen has forgiven, over the years? How many does Lan Wangji know about?

"He wouldn't do that"

Lan Xichen's statement here is a direct parallel to Lan Wangji's statement way back in epsiode 21, which is the last time we saw the brothers talking about anything besides battle strategy.

Back then, Lan Xichen asked about the deaths at the supervisory office - you know, all those people who killed themselves in horrible ways and/or were killed by vengeful spirits. He wanted to know if WWX killed them using Yin Iron. Lan Wangji said nope, not my sweetie, he sure didn't.

"He wouldn't do anything like that."

Same framing, same camera angle, same blocking. Same message: the one I love would not do bad things using Yin iron. But - here's the thing - Lan Wangji was flat-out lying in that earlier conversation. He saw Wei Wuxian doing forbidden stuff and got in a huge-ass fight with him about it, only to deny it to his brother.

Parallels being what they are in this show, I think this is a strong suggestion that Lan Xichen is knowingly lying in the current conversation.

If we look back at that previous conversation, when Lan Wangji asked Lan Xichen "how can we understand someone's heart?" Lan Xichen gave a surprising answer.

"When looking at someone, you[...]shouldn't use a clear right or wrong, black or white to judge them. What matters is what their heart believes in."

When this conversation happened, it seemed that he was giving Lan Wangji advice about his Wei Wuxian situation, but in retrospect, I think he was thinking about Meng Yao, who had recently murdered a guy and defected to the Wen clan.

In the present moment, I think Lan Xichen knows that Jin Guangyao is sketchy, but he also believes there are some lines his friend won't cross. (He doesn't know yet about the fratricide, patricide, and filicide, or the massacre of the sex workers in the brothel where JGY grew up.) I don't think any of these guys really believes that "Yin iron" is one of those uncrossable lines.

The conversation is interrupted by the juniors having a loud argument inside about whether Wei Wuxian is The Worst, or merely bad. Lan Sizhui started this by very very mildly defending demonic cultivators. Jin Ling is super upset, because of the whole "Wei Wuxian killed my dad" and "Uncle Jiang Cheng frequently reminds me to kill people like Wei Wuxian and feed them to my dog" situation.

Lan Wangji immediately drops the important conversation he is having to go inside and deal with the more important problem of a child talking shit about his boyfriend.

Busted

The moment that Lan Wangji goes inside, Lan Xichen addresses Wei Wuxian by name, letting him know that he's recognized him. Watching him fondle his untouchable didi's shoulder might have been a clue. Wei Wuxian is alarmed but makes a quick recovery.

Lan Xichen is surprisingly kind to Wei Wuxian at the same time as being extremely extremely wary of him. He's not pleased to see him, and Wei Wuxian's 1000 watt smile and apparently genuine pleasure in greeting him properly receives a chilly response.

Wei Wuxian gently asks Lan Xichen to think about what they've discussed, but he doesn't press. He gives him time and space to think. In a way, Wei Wuxian is better at handling Lan Xichen than Lan Wangji is; Lan Wangji's stubbornness makes him inclined to push. Wei Wuxian is better at fitting his tactics to the situation.

He says his bit and then leaves Lan Xichen to think things over in peace.

Soundtrack: Follow the Heart by Yaima

[starrysharks]

hi!!! i absolutely adore reassassination and im not sure if this has been asked yet or not but how did you come up with the plot/general idea of reassassination?

ah the inspiration for RAA came from a lot of things! some media and some personal experiences.

the style of RAA is heavily inspired by late 90s to mid 2000s cartoons and subcultures like goth, industrial/rivethead culture, scene, and spooky kids/nu metal/mall-goths. originally each character was to reflect a certain subculture and this still exists loosely within the series (eg. valentine/angel is based off of gyaruo, and onion is intended to be slightly reminiscent of emo). and of course, horror films, especially campy ones. stuff like rocky horror, saw, ginger snaps, and the machine girl!

i came up with the plot by chance. before finalising the premise of "zombie girl comes back from the dead to get revenge on her killer", i rewatched all of panty and stocking, and really loved the idea of a badass killer girl and her strange mysterious mentor. it's my fav trope, esp in stylish movies like sucker punch. before that, i had a very loose premise of octavia and kranken running a fucked up clinic together in episodic fashion - think like "clinic of horrors" by merryweathery.

anyway we eventually got to the premise of "zombie girl attends school killing people in secret to advance her mentor's plans". i needed to flesh things out a bit, so added some villains (then a school council rather than a full org), and gave octavia a simple, edgy little motive - kill her killer. i thought it was funny and fitted the "edgy on purpose" vibe i've always wanted RAA to have. the plan for the format changed from mostly vulgar, episodic comedy to slightly more serious serialised horror dramady, but the edgy, silly premise remained.

if you wouldn't mind me talking about it in particular, parts of the clear crucifix org are inspired by televangelism and the churches my mother would take me to when i was younger for the most part. televangelists are self-righteous, holier-than-thou scumbags who pressure the vulnerable into giving them money and relying on them out of the promise of salvation. the fact that they take christianity and warp/ignore/change the rules around to fit their plans inspired the philosophy of the CCO - it's exaggerated in that they blatantly go against their own religion by basing their org off of killing those they see as unrighteous or wrong. i went to lots of different churches when i was younger - some more protestant and some more pentecostal, though CCO ended up being based on catholicism because i know a lot about it (got a 8, the UK equivalent to an A, in religious studies lol). to me the protestant churches seemed a lot lighthearted but still had that underlying sense of judgement and shame, and the pentecostal churches were pretty explicitly "if you don't believe/if you are gay, trans, or anything against the norm you will go to hell". those pentecostal churches were also more violent and scary to me as a kid (exorcisms and religious ecstasy creep me out to this day) which inspired the more intense, horrific torture-esque parts of the CCO that will be in the comic!

well i hope you don't mind that wall of text lol, i could write more about specifics but i don't want to go into too much detail about everything! thank you so much for this question! :D

[shortpplfedup]

Rewatched the episode to organise my thoughts and I really wanted to share my understanding of the emotional journey Pat is going through this ep. I do feel, like @lurkingshan and @ginnymoonbeam in particular have been saying to me, that Pat's journey is sliiiiiiightly harder to follow, and it hinges on the conversation on two levels that he and Jeng have near the middle of the ep (which, more on that in a moment). Like always, this ep could have used a little nip/tuck, and maybe a montage to show the passage of time, but I'd like to present to you...

PAT'S EPISODE 9 EMOTIONS: A STORY

First movement: absolute cringe, totally embarrassed. He was drunk and weeping, hanging off his boss who had to answer his MOM's phone call and get him home. Said boss is also gay which...we're not processing that right now because it adds an entirely new cringe level.

Second movement: starts to think about the fact that JENG IS GAY AND ONLY JUST TOLD HIM which feels like maybe Jeng has been laughing at him a bit and messing him about. Because he thought they were bonding somewhat all this time but Jeng didn't share this when he knows Pat is also gay. Shoves the stuffie in the drawer because he feels betrayed.

Third movement: Here is where things get wibbly because time is clearly passing between the day after the bar and the day Pat's dad shows up, but we don't really understand how much. Pat is actively avoiding Jeng. Jeng is asking Chot where he is, Pat is taking (multiple?) days off...but no idea of when this falls in the timeline so hard to follow the throughline.

Fourth movement: Pat is back at work and clearly DEEP in his feelings, he has been stewing over this for who knows how long at this point (feels more weeks than days or months). Chot is noticing (and likely misunderstanding the source of the churn as a lovers' tiff rather than a not-lovers' tiff). He thought he wouldn't have to see Jeng because Chot is standing in for him at the screening but Jeng shows up and he kind of panics. So he's feeling embarrassed, a little betrayed and like Jeng has been toying with him.

Fifth movement: This is where they have the convo on two levels. I say that because Pat was clearly saying one thing while Jeng was hearing another. Pat is saying: 'stop doing these things because I can't say no when you're sweet to me.' Jeng is hearing: 'stop doing these things because I can't say no when you are my boss.' The language is deliberately vague, and the idea of two meanings could get lost, but the show makes it clear in the two follow up scenes where Jeng and Pat have separate vents about what's happening. Jeng is crying to Jaab that Pat only sees him as a coworker, while Pat is fuming to Jen that Jeng is playing with his feelings. Pat said 'I don't want to misunderstand' and Jeng said 'you're not misunderstanding' and Pat said 'no I must be misunderstanding because it don't even make sense, so leave me alone please.'

Sixth movement: Pat exposits those feelings of being toyed with to Jen, who is like 'solidarity sister, these brothers be doing that.'

Seventh movement: Chot tells Pat Jeng is quitting and that's when Pat starts to realise that maybe the man was Not Fucking Around, but the WHY ME? is strong because Pat is aware that Jeng is An Adult and he is The Hot Mess Express. Then the man plans him a damn birthday celebration but stays away like he asked.

Eighth movement: At this point, Pat is the SpongeBob crab meme. THERE IS JUST TOO MUCH HAPPENING AND HE CANNOT PROCESS IT HE HAS SOMEHOW GOTTEN LOST IN THE SAUCE. He breaks the fuck down and cries to his mommy and daddy, because it's all too much.

Ninth movement: Pat experiences the miracle of birth up close and fucking personal and like many of us cannot believe that a human can actually do that and what the fuck is he actually caught up about. His good sis MADE A PERSON IN THE STREET and then posted it on Instagram like it was light work, and he is skressed because a gay man likes him, another gay man.

Tenth movement: And then Pat gets home and said gay man has sent him a BOX of snacks just because he said he liked them once, and then sends him a text that basically says 'I LIKE YOU DUMMY, SO MUCH, BECAUSE YOU'RE YOU.'

Look, all I'm saying is my man Pat went on a journey ok?

[chirpsythismorning]

Crack Theory: Will Byers is Twelve (12) - Part 1

Hear me out!

With all the theories swirling around about Will potentially being connected to the lab pre-season 1, maybe even a lab kid himself, I had to go back and rewatch the lab scenes from s4.

I honestly thought I wouldn't find anything. I think a lot of people assume it's not possible for Will to have been a lab kid, or at least not to have been a lab kid present at the same time as El.

However, upon rewatching those scenes in particular, I noticed something. Suddenly, all the puzzle pieces began falling into place.

The first time we ever see Twelve on screen, we focus in on him picking out a couple of boxes of crayons to play with...

Now, I know you might be thinking this isn't anything substantial, especially seeing as a lot of the kids at Hawkins Lab utilize drawing as a technique to test out their abilities... but honestly, it only get's more interesting from here.

Let me start by acknowledging that the lab kids tend to rank in age. One (Henry) for example, was the oldest. Two appeared to be the second oldest, and so on and so forth.

And so hypothetically speaking, if Will were to be an og lab kid, it seems he would really only fit into the spots near El since they are believed to be roughly the same age; one year apart, more or less. Which would make Will most likely Ten, Twelve, or Thirteen.

Twelve in particular though, fits the bill because of a few key details.

Lets start at the beginning of season 4:

4x01: The Hellfire Club

For reference, on this date, Will would've been 8 years old.

First, we open to the Rainbow Room in Hawkins Lab.

The camera lingers on a few different kids, some very briefly, while others are given a bit more time on-screen. Though,Twelve is arguably given more focus than any of the other kids in this scene (besides Ten, followed by Eleven at the ending of this scene).

When we first see Twelve, we stumble across him picking up these crayons. Then we follow him as he finds a spot to presumably color.

Just to confirm the (pencil) crayons:

And as Twelve goes to sit down, that's when I realized... He's sits next to Eleven...

If this crack theory ends up being true, the framing/blocking of this shot might have been very, very intentional:

(above) El and Will sitting side by side over 8 years later, in the exact same episode

Even though I was intrigued, I was still mostly skeptical. And so I kept looking for more hints that might help support this as a possibility.

We don't get any more major Hawkins Lab scenes again (disregarding a couple intense quick flashback sequences El experiences) until 4x05.

4x05 : The Nina Project

As El walks into the Rainbow Room for the first time officially this season, we get a shot of her looking to the right to see Sixteen, Seventeen and Eighteen all playing together. The focus on them is brief, followed by a reaction shot from El, who just looks confused.

Then we get a shot of her looking to her right, and even though there are three people technically in this shot, the camera only really focuses on Twelve. And what he's doing doesn't just feel like a kid playing mindlessly, it feels like something else is going on here...

Why have El look at what Twelve is doing all cryptically? Is he just building a red tower and she's super intrigued? Or, could it be something else the Duffer's are trying to hint at?

I just think it's interesting, that despite Twelve's role being extremely minor, he's still focused on in a way that's more present than most of the other numbers. His scenes are nowhere near as major as Two for example, but they're also not as brief as the other younger kids.

What then follows is El getting stuck in the Henry time-loop.

As this is happening... besides Henry and El, look who else just so happens to be in the frame, with that peculiar red block tower:

TWELVE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?

Like come on, isn't this standard Will Byers behavior? Will just lingering in the background? And this trend only continues.

But first, lets not forget what follows directly after this:

OKAY I have to make a part 2 because there's still a lot to go through and I don't want this to get too crowded! Meet you there!

Part 1, 2, 3, 4

[mc-critical]

Satrakci's Ibratice & Hürremleo parallels

Sadika and Matrakci become a more fascinating story with each rewatch and one of the main reasons why is the parallels it has with two other resident tragic couples.

[My initial plan for the post was for it to only be about Satrakci's parallels with Ibratice, as I wanted to rework what I said in this IG edit I made for Sol's birthday back in July (I've been unwell ever since I was graced with the Ibratice parallels then), but upon rewatch I noticed the Hürremleo parallels as well, so why not include both, right?]

In terms of Hürremleo, the parallels are looser at first; they can be seen more through some similarities in role either Sadika or Matrakci have to Leo or Hürrem, as well as the ties they have with them in the respective plots, but then the parallels become more and more direct due to the shared, ongoing tragedy of both stories.

Both Leo and Sadika are from another country and come in Istanbul for an ""ulterior"" motive connected to their love: Leo searches for his Alexandra, while Sadika seeks vengeance for her Ariel. They gain others' favor along the way and it's this exact favor that complicates matters for them even further: Sadika is sent to Hatice and Ibrahim's castle, while Leo is sent to a painters' workshop, both encountering difficulty to finish their respective duties or missions, what's ordered to them by the rulers in general (killing Süleiman ordered by Louis, finishing Süleiman's portrait ordered by SS himself). The agency of both of them is constantly violated when they only want to be done soon as possible (Leo's aforementioned "order" itself is merely a part of this, and even though Sadika wants to seek her vengeance, the pressure is definitely wearing on her too). Both of them get someone (Nigar, Matrakci) to send their letters to the people related to their 'purposes', their closest people there, really. Both of them are labeled as traitors and are "dealt with" in the same episode after their 'traitorous' acts have been revealed in some way.

There's a whole post to be made about Sadika's parallels with Hürrem, but overall it's their whole trajectory in the harem that is paralleled: they win over some main authorities (the dynasty and SS respectively) but not others, however those who are won over are really won over, their fondness and trust is really earned (until it's broken at some point, whether permanently or for a while, namely due to something to do with murder on different scales: Ayşe Hatun's murder - that both Hürrem and Sadika are tied to - or the murder attempt on SS); they cling to their original faith at first (parallel scenes with their crosses) and become muslim for more pragmatic reasons (I believe Hürrem started developing some feelings for SS right when she fainted in his arms, with her praising him in front of Gülnihal after that scene, and having flashbacks later and so on, but it was all a gradual process); their motivations have to do (at least at first in Hürrem's case) with revenge due to their past experiences, their loved ones' losses; they are seperately tutored by Sümbül Ağa (and both call his name wrong at times!); the concubines dislike and mistrust them due to their respective rises in the ranks and both have beefs with Ayşe Hatun in particular. Both Sadika and Hürrem also have Leo and Matrakci respectively as likely to compromise what they have accomplished, so they don't want them around themselves much (at least not until Sadika finds use for Matrakci and yet she doesn't want him to go much beyond that use, understandably), no matter how much they may appreciate them or what they do for them.

Both Matrakci and Leo are harem outsiders that perceive that whole world as foreign or just beyond them no matter how close to it they appear to be at this point, so the only thing they can do is go with the flow and navigate it together (Matrakci obviously knows way more than Leo but still). They are ordinary people that somehow always end up at the heart of the action (i.e. the jannisary rebellion) due to their ties with the main characters (Hürrem and Ibrahim respectively). Both of them are characterized by their strong loves. Both of them are insistent on taking every chance they get to meet their loves no matter how impossible it may seem. Both of them lean on hope to get closure with their loves no matter how delayed (Matrakci) or inconceivable (Leo) it is. Both of them are devastated at the end as they face the consequences of being involved in a supposed betrayal. Both of them want their own lives to be taken instead of having to deal with the aftermath of the painful event (that would include having to see their loves suffer or them having to make their loves suffer).

Both Matrakci and Hürrem are people who are still on their path to adapt, but get more and more ingrained in the palace life eventually to the point they get inseparable from it much later on (and that is also helped by their contrasting relationships with Ibrahim). Both of them function as Leo's guides to the inner workings of the castle at certain points. Both of them are motivated by their resurged or newfound care for him here and try to help him in many ways. Both of them try to arrange for their loves to leave (whether subtly or directly, whether for real or as a ruse for another order to be followed). Both of them have to deal with the deaths of their loved ones, brought forth by their hands, due to a cruel order of the same person. Both of them can't seem to forget the experience, no matter how much one might push them to. Both of them keep it close to their hearts.

The more we go, the more tied together these different people get. From Sadika who comes to the harem with a mission that becomes likely to get compromised and that comes to involve Hürrem (when does Hürrem first dream of Leo himself, with him telling her he'll save her? Oh, right - when she was exiled in Edirne for Sadika's murder of Ayşe!); to Sadika aiming more adamantly for SS's chambers, becoming a direct threat for Hürrem, thus she sends her away; to Leo arriving in Istanbul and then showing up all the more in the place Sadika is sent away in; to Hürrem seeing Leo again for the first time in that same place; to Hürrem meeting Leo there again, with Sadika getting involved too for a bit, suspecting something and searching at Leo's things (and it's namely there almost all her meetups with Matrakci are as well); to both the orchestration of Leo's death and the final sealing of Sadika's fate being all tied again to Ibrahim's castle (the main room and the dungeon, respectively), to Ibrahim himself.

Ibrahim seems to "bless" both respective couples or at least the people that are part of them that are more tied to him (Matrakci, Leo); one instance genuine, the other quite performative (wanting to marry Matrakci to Sadika throughout many episodes; telling Leo to confess everything in order for Ibrahim to ""protect"" Hürrem in E24), but ultimately, he screws over both of them at the same time, in the same episode (Hürremleo at day, Satrakci at night), without hesitation. They are forever torn apart and only the surviving have to deal with the fallout (no wonder Matrakci's anguish right after Sadika's death is immediately followed by Hürrem's cries in the hammam!).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In terms of Ibratice, along with the more basic similarities in role these four people share with one another and the ways they're tied in their respective plots, we have more outlined but deceptive parallels that solidify and become more legitimate due to the joint inevitable future tragedies that await both stories.

Both Ibrahim and Sadika are loved before they feel anything for the people who love them in return. They make their first move only when they sense they can latch onto these people due to different reasons, but they still grow eventual fondness for them regardless. They are the more restrained, cautious side in most of the interactions. They are the ones mostly sending the letters.

Both Ibrahim and Matrakci are the more active forces in their dynamics with their significant others: they seek the opportunities to arrange the meetings, they mostly send the gifts. They are more persistent to fight for their loves however possible. They respect each other's feelings (at least to a point in Ibrahim's case) because they get each other and they get it. They're close witnessers of the others' happiness.

Both Hatice and Sadika have faced the death of their former husband and have trauma related to that, regardless of their different views on said men and their different reactions. Both of them are pressured by those above them in some ways (Hatice to marry Mehmet Celebi; Sadika to avenge Ariel as quickly as possible, at all costs). Both of them are wary not to be seen, of the reactions of others while meeting Ibrahim and Matrakci respectively. Both of them strive for put some distance between Ibrahim and Matrakci respectively, no matter the reason.

Hatice's dynamic with Sadika in particular, along with Ibrahim's with Matrakci, is only bound to put Sadika and Matrakci's parallel story at a center stage. Both Hatice and Ibrahim relate to the hurdle Sadika and Matrakci are apparently experiencing, as this is a hurdle they both have recently experienced and they (Hatice especially) want Sadika and Matrakci to flourish, so they obviously plan to marry them.

However, just like Hatice is a distant witnesser to what's happening around Sadika and the similarities between the four are again very baseline, that relating of Ibratice's to Satrakci is merely relating by assumption. Ibrahim and Hatice think that a love story is happening in front of them, but despite of the similar secret meetings both duos have in the palace gardens, Sadika and Matrakci aren't quite a love story. It's more about Sadika seeking ways to smooth her situation over and fulfill her mission. While Matrakci really loved her, the way Sadika's feelings develop turns out to be way more complicated and it all starts from an initial sense of discomfort, even fear (given her previous experience with Bonçuk Ağa, why wouldn't she be wary of another man who wants her and pursues her?; I think the main reason why she grew fond of Matrakci regardless was him actually showing Sadika basic respect in spite of his passionate feelings he also struggled to contain at times, along with him helping her that unconditionally. And given how many traumas related to that she's experienced - not just by Bonçuk but also by Süleiman - of course that would mean the world to her. Him actually being decent to her and facilitating her mission? Of course that would come to comfort her at least a bit.), then moving to gratitude and only then, finally, to appreciation and fondness (even before his offer for escape in E25, as she called him a good person several times before, in E24 as well) and even then, the objective is prioritized most. The letters weren't letters for her uncle but for the Hungarian king. They all were involved in a spy mission and no one realized it until it was already too late.

But the more we head to the reveal of who Sadika truly is and the characters' realizations and reactions, the closer Satrakci end up to Ibratice. Along with Sadika becoming fonder of Matrakci, more parallels between her and Ibrahim crop up as both of them emerge as traitors to the Sultan not just through their parallel plot-lines in the same episode with Leo/Hürrem and Süleiman respectively (with Ibrahim as the more indirect traitor in both the Leo situation and his involuntary involvement in Sadika's own 'traitorous' actions; though both him and Sadika are placed as killers in their parallel plot-lines: one of Leo - a successful attempt, the other of Süleiman - an unsuccessful one), but also through one finalizing action that will directly threaten the sultan (more metaphorically in Ibrahim's case and more literally in Sadika's) that will bring them on their way to execution.

Sadika is immediately disarmed and imprisoned, awaiting for her fate while the full extent of her several crimes is yet being uncovered. lbrahim's single crime is still pondered on by Süleiman, so he isn't directly confronted, it all rather seeming like his relationship with SS is on a high instead, having no idea what would later come forth. Both Ibrahim and Sadika are supposedly given a way out by (Ibrahim's other lover :DDDD) Süleiman and Matrakci respectively - Ibrahim apparently solidifiying even more his perhaps no longer shaky place next to his majesty and Sadika getting hopeful for a few moments that, maybe, an escape is truly possible (this can also be a parallel with Hatice to an extent - with her having worries earlier but ultimately brushing them off until the unavoidable truth is delivered to her, just like Sadika). Both are executed anyway.

This is where the parallels between Matrakci and Hatice come in: Both Matrakci and Hatice will have to grapple with these respective deaths. The loves of both emerge as traitors executed by the order of another person - of the one person, the next person Matrakci and Hatice value the most. Even though Ibrahim's death comes as a surprise to Hatice, while Matrakci is all too aware of it, having to follow the order himself, their pain is the same. And both of them are urged to get over it "with time", but they struggle to (and Hatice doesn't manage to at all; just like Sadika, she'll want to AVENGE her (other) husband who SS killed).

All these different people are tied together all the more directly and from the very beginning: Ibrahim brings Sadika in the castle per Matrakci's request due to Matrakci's pity and compassion for her; the first move Sadika does to gain favor is done during Hatice's engagement to Mehmet Celebi; Sadika becomes Hatice's main lady not only due to Hürrem's suggestion, but also because she too has come to like her; Sadika and Matrakci's whole story takes place in Ibrahim's castle once again; Ibratice's wedding opens the path for a possible Satrakci wedding, as I already mentioned; both Sadika and Matrakci (along with Leo) are next to Hatice during the jannisary rebellion and witness the loss of her child; Ibrahim and Matrakci order a brooch and a necklace for Hatice and Sadika respectively at the same time after Hatice loses the child; the closer Satrakci get to Ibratice's orbit in general, the more chipper Ibratice get over said possible wedding, trying to realize it... until Satrakci's doom suddenly comes forth, once again by the same person they've been "blessed" by before {and on an interesting more symbolic note that links that doom even more with Ibrahim: we have water motives around both Satrakci and Ibratice. Matrakci's last moments with Sadika, with what will only become a relic of the past, were on a boat (coming full-circle, as Sadika herself also arrived in Istanbul by a boat, ready to embrace her future). Ibrahim traveled on a ship to Parga, a remnant of his past as well, after everyone learned about his relationship with Hatice and it was unclear what would happen. Both relationships were threatened and in a completely final way, in terms of Satrakci. The freedom symbolism of the ship is pretty much taken away for the boat namely by the guy for who it meant freedom to quite an extent and it's turned into a close, inevitable, encompassing doom instead of a further, temporary one (although one could argue that some of the original freedom symbolism remains against all odds, as Matrakci allowed Sadika to put the sack on her head herself - but the outcome isn't changed regardless and this is sadly the most he could do in this situation...). Ibrahim himself is quite associated with boats too outside of that and this association is even called back in his last episode. Ibrahim is executed at night, just like Sadika is. Okay, I may be reaching here a bit, BUT...}.

Regardless of his earlier "blessing" of Sadika and Matrakci, everything is discarded after the betrayal and Ibrahim will make him execute her anyway, constantly insisting for him to move on. What's more intriguing, he tells this to Hatice as well, presenting the very assertion of "moving on with time" that she'll challenge in the future namely over her grief for him [the "scales of relation" tip again - it's now Ibrahim who distances himself from Matrakci's circumstances (even though he will end up unable to due to what'll come for him in the future), while Hatice relates to Matrakci's pain (and she'll continue relating to it in the future). It's kind of fascinating that Ibrahim and Hatice are actually at odds for this and that it is one of the first things they're actually at odds for outside of their different relationships with Hürrem, even before Hatice's first pull of rank on him; it may not be just a matter of viewpoints (and coping mechanisms: Ibrahim strives to completely move on from his painful experiences, to not even recall them and expects others to do so as well, while Hatice arrives at a point when she no longer can after the person she leans on the most is also taken away from her, after her brother too is taken away from her; how can she cling to peace any further, will it be possible? She desperately wishes to make it possible, however...) - Ibrahim at this point definitely wouldn't want her to grieve for him forever, he would like to spare her that pain, still though...]. So Matrakci and Sadika skip straight to Ibrahim and Hatice's tragic ending in spite of both Ibrahim and Hatice's hopes for them to get that initial happy ending of their wedding instead. This is how Satrakci emerge right up as tragic mirrors to Ibratice that'll only be an omen for the future, no matter how many ups there otherwise are and will be, no matter how much everything seems to be smoothed over.

[mimiruku]

give me your favorite manga or anime of all time. NOW. like, the ones who changed you as a person. if you are okay with questions like that!

𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐀 𝐎𝐅 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄. ╰┈┈➤ Thank you for sending this question in ! I so totally am alright with it, but lemme just re-send this to you real quick as well. ( No escape from your on inquires, Charlotte! )

─── 𝐊𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐊𝐘𝐎 𝐇𝐈𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐍 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐎𝐑𝐍 : If I'll be completely honest with you all ? This show is utter shit. It's one of the worst shounen manga / anime I had the misfortune of watching & reading, it's vapid, typical and totally not something I could ever recommend. I cannot possibly explain to people how trash this series is and yet it's something I cherished deeply because it's how I've met, Nimo.

I think about it often, if I didn't rewatched it, didn't trudge to the sludge they call 'episodes' and didn't Stockholm syndrome my way into falling in love with Reborn and the fuckass cast, I wouldn't have written a fanfiction that involved the Varia & a maid and Nimo wouldn't have messaged me. You know, I really can't find anything good to say about KHR, maybe I like the characters, just maybe . . . not sure if it's the characters or the meaning I've put into them. Though, maybe, it's just that I love Nimo, that I love this show.

─── 𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐌𝐀 : I don't know where to begin, how do you talk about a stupid silly show that impacted you deeply? You have to experience Gintama at least once in your life I think, the laughing and the crying, it's bittersweet and it became so special to me, though I can't really tell you if my views of this show had been thoroughly compromised, this is a comfort series of mine you see and you know how it is when you love something a little too much, I don't know if I could go around recommending it at all ( I say, you have to experience Gintama yourself, but nothing beats Gintama when you're 15 years old and utterly helpless, this thing brought so much comfort and laughter in my life during a time it was hard to find both )

I will say though, and this I say confidently : It's a well written shounen even with the offensive, outdated and frankly? awful jokes they sometimes have. Sorachi  has an incredible ability to make you laugh and cry all at the same time, he has great comedic timing, with a particular talent for sewing his tragedies. He's my all time favorite writers, just something about the way he present his story is deeply human.

─── 𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐘𝐔𝐊𝐈 : I won't elaborate, There's a character here that I resonate with to a ridiculous extent and I desperately want him dead.

[spacelesbiandisaster]

What did happened with the Padawans Ahsoka save in Wasskah???

OK, I'm starting to feel a little frustrated by how many interested characters appear in Ahsoka's arc's just to be forgotten and never mentioned again.

I already did a few posts on Trace Martez, and Barriss Offe (how are both minor characters in the clone wars series, just look at their actual screen time) but there's also her relationship with Plo Koon, Joscasta Nu, Tera Sinube and Ayla Secura who should all been more explored. I feel like Ahsoka is only allowed to share screen time with Anakin, Rex and Padmé (Obi-Wan and Lux Bonteri too if the writes were feeling generous) and that pisses me off!

So today I'm talking about Kalifa (the human girl), Jinx (the Twi'lek boy) and O-Mer (the Cerean boy)!

Ahsoka meets the Padawan group (I not sure if they are actually Padawans or just senior Younglings) when she is kidnapped by Trandoshan who took her to Wasskah (the moon of their homeplanet) and proceed to try to hunt her.

Trying to scape she meet Kalifa and her friends, all Jedi who allegedly were "abandoned" by their masters and were doing everything possible to survive.

Note: they weren't actually abandoned, rather also kidnapped. But their masters weren't nowhere near looking for them, so I guess the word abandoned works where.

Between the events of this arcs we actually see Kalifa dieing in screen

And after that Ahsoka managers to save Jinx and O-Mer (with the help of Chewbacca for some reason). They go back to the temple and Ahsoka gets to reunite with Anakin in a very heart harming scene

It is really cute and nice to see these two characters care so much about each other but it is also very annoying to see Jinx and O-Mer being reduce to background characters after spending a whole arc rooting for their survive. And this is the last time we ever seen them as well! On my first watch I tough that there being implied that they straight up leave the Jedi order bc they already feel way to disconnect from the Jedi by the time they got back at the temple (we don't even know how much time they spent being hunting in that moon), but rewatching there's no evidence of that, so I guess we supposed to assume they got back to their masters just like Ahsoka did.

That is flat out laziness though, they could very easily show them walking in the temple on later episodes similar like they did with the Younglings Ahsoka took to Ilum, just so we know they were alive and well, but they never do that! It's like Jinx and O-Mer never existed in the first place and there's a particular arc that they could had a major role and would make total sense.

The wrong Jedi arc.

I already comment about how I think they only blame Barriss Offe for the temple bombing bc Ahsoka didn't had any other friends who could betrayer her like that and even made a hole theory what could justify her motives for the attack (link here) but you know who had very reasonable motivation for doing that?

Jinx and O-Mer!

God, did Filoni just forgot about theses two boys there were left to rotten on Wasskah by the Jedi?

They could very easily been portrait as Ahsoka's friends for all they pass together and would be even easier to tell a story about how the grow resenting the Jedi Order for never looking for them after their kidnaping. On top of that, assuming they return to their training as if nothing was happened, they probably were send to battlefronts just like all the other Padawans in the order.

So let me explain their situation:

First they passed for a very traumatic experience by being separated from their masters and hunted down by lizards for months, then their best friend died while trying to help them scape this living nightmare and when they finally get back home and ask about why no one looked for them they probably get the standard Jedi speech about having to let go of attachments and how everyone thought they were death and the council couldn't afford sending rescue missions bc of the separatists (I'm assuming all that bc this is exactly what they told Anakin when he wanted to go find Ahsoka, so it's not only the voices of my head) and after a few days of rest they were required to go fight a freaking war.

They have more reasons (in cannon) to bombing the Jedi temple that Palpatine did! How they aren't even suspects?????

And imagine Ahsoka's reaction if the boys she helped to salve were the responsible for not only killing civilians, clones and Jedi, but also framing her for murderer?

Don't get me wrong, I do like the plot twist of being Barriss, but for that make sense we should had seen what made her to that and we never did, but if Jinx and O-Mer that problem wouldn't exist. Just put a dialogue of them (or one of them) talking about how their lives only got worst after returning to the Jedi and all of us would understand immediately!

But we don't get that because Ahsoka apparently isn't allowed to have more than one friend in the Jedi order.

I always stick with my theories about Barriss motives and how she became so radicalized, but its honestly a waste not to put other Padawans who had a connection to Ahsoka and were turning disenchantment about the Jedi. Imagine she having a little talk about the bombing of the temple and the protests that came together with Jinx and O-Mer and there like "I hope you and Master Skywalker find the bomber, but I do get the point of these protests. It was only a matter of time until this war get the better out of us". You get the idea, my point is that The Wrong Jedi arc should had focus more on changing Ahsoka's perspective on the order, not just because they don't believe she was innocent, but because the Jedi were actually losing their way for everyone she loves and for the galaxy. And these Padawans were a direct reflection of that! I don't care how many wars the Jedi were fighting, losing four kids and refuse to go look for them should be a galactic crime! Were is the Republic child protective services???

Please talk to me if you have any headcanons regarding theses characters, I really would appreciate having someone to share my ideas for the fanfic I working on at the moment and I definitely are going to include Jinx and O-Mer in some way.

[anangelcanonlygosofar]

Aziraphale And His Relationship With God

I've been thinking about something that I haven't heard/see anyone in this fandom ever really talk about. That could be because I don't keep up with everything, haven't come across a post talking about it, or the fandom has not discussed it yet. So I shall start a conversation about it here on this blog and many other things I have been thinking about and noticing with every rewatch of Good Omens Season 1 &2.

Let's start with a simple question...

What is the relationship between God and Aziraphale like?

To start, we must consider that God rarely talks to their angels, including Airazphale. They simply give orders that are most likely handed down to Metatron, who acts like a middleman and gives the angels "God's" orders. So it's safe to say that Aziraphale, hearing and learning he would be guarding the Eastern gate of Eden thought, or at last hoped, that God would check in on him every once in a while to see his progress.

However, in reality, God only checked in on him ONCE and asked about the whereabouts of the flaming sword in a short, curt matter, listening to Aziraphale give a dumbfounded remark of it "lying around somewhere" before just peacing out. It's also important to note that they chose to ask Aziraphale about the sword and not about Adam and Eve no longer being in the Garden Of Eden or the fact that Aziraphale had very clearly just finished filling in the hole in the wall to the garden.

After this interaction, it's safe to assume that God, for whatever reason, never directly spoke to Aziraphale themselves for the last 6,000 years or so. Leading me to wonder how Aziriphale felt about his mother, father, and creator talking to certain "special" humans but not to him. How hurt was Aziraphale when he realized that God never seemed interested or concerned about him on Earth or even his well-being?

How many times did Aziraphale try to talk to God directly only to get either the Metatron or no response at all? Did Aziraphale ever give up trying to talk to God? If so, for how long? How did Aziraphale deal with the feelings of jealousy he felt, but probably didn't understand when he witnessed time and time again God CHOOSING to talk to HUMANS but not their faithful Principality?

For example, in Good Omens Season 2 Episode 2, we get to see a minisode about Job and the bet that God and Satan made. Throughout the episode, you get to see how out of the loop Aziraphale is, especially when you learn that he wasn't even told about the bet because neither the Angels overseeing the bet nor God themself gave him a heads-up. Then, later on, and toward the end of the minisode, there is a moment when Aziraphale sees Job talking to God, who's just saying seemingly a lot of random things in no particular order. The camera pans to Aziraphale's face and you can see a mix of joy and sadness on his sweet angelic face. He is joyful to see (well hear) God, but at the same time, he is hurt that God simply didn't talk to him at least once (either before or after The Job Bet).

As time went on, how many times did he angrily rant in his numerous volumes of journals about how upset he was that God decided only to come to Earth to talk to a human of their choosing but not to talk to him? How many times did he cry in Crowley's arms about his feelings of jealousy that God would choose to talk to a human but not him?

Aziraphale must have felt so alone and forsaken. The only places he could turn for comfort were his journals, his books, music, food, and Crowley. For over 6,000 years Aziraphale busied himself with surrounding himself with comforting things and found ways to hang out with Crowley because that was ALL he had on Earth. He spent 6,000 years hanging out with Crowley, reading and collecting books, listening to music, traveling the world, eating his feelings, and writing every experience and emotional sensation he had in his 600+ volumes of journals to keep from going crazy and dwelling on the fact that God never once talked to him directly, even if was to just let him know they still care for him.

Aziraphale must have felt abandoned by God and kept unbreakable faith in them in the perpetual hope that they'd speak directly to him. So every time Crowley said some snide question or remark about God, Aziraphale would get hurt and retort that "it's ineffable" as a coping mechanism and as a way to change the subject because he didn't want to think about God and their perpetual silence toward him.

It must be so painful and insulting that God would talk to select humans but not talk to their own Angel who is watching over said humans. This would lead Aziraphale to grow silently resentful of his God yet he would also come up with an explanation to talk himself out of being resentful and to bury his hurt feelings so deep that he became in denial of said feelings.

Aziraphale probably told himself that God was too busy to keep in contact with all their Angels and only had fleeting moments of free time to talk to selected humans. This reasoning probably only made him somewhat content with God not talking to him. However, Aziraphale still desires to speak to God directly. So, when 6,000 years pass and he has the chance to talk to God directly in hopes of reasoning with them about not letting Armageddon happen, he goes for it. However, instead of God coming to talk to him, it's the damn Metatron, speaking on behalf of God.

At that moment, Aziraphale realized that God not directly talking to him was intentional. You can see in his face that he is hurt, that even in a moment of crisis, God still refused to speak directly to him. Yet Aziraphale still kept his FAITH in God in the suffocating hope that one day he could talk directly to God after 6,000 YEARS of waiting for any sign that God still cares for him in some way.

This is why I believe he truly decided to sacrifice EVERYTHING including Crowley so he could return to heaven and finally find a way to talk to God directly to STOP the 2nd Coming and any other Armageddons that may be in the pipeline. Maybe now that he's the Supreme Archangel God will finally talk to him directly.

He just wants to talk to God, fix heaven, and forever save the Earth from Heaven AND Hell. He believes that if he can talk to God maybe, just maybe, he can fix Heaven, save the Earth, and stop the 2nd Coming, as well as, permanently prevent and stop future Armageddons in the process.

Essentially his returning to Heaven is to "do good", and fix Heaven, but it's also to mend his 6,000 years of abandonment issues he developed because of God's 6,000 years of silence they gave to Aziraphale who only had Crowley to talk to and hang out with. Crowley was there when neither God nor other angels were. The only Angels that Aziraphale conversed with were probably Michael and Gabriel and they probably just yelled at him, bullied him, and stifled his questioning nature so that he wouldn't turn out like a former blued-eyed and blonde-haired angel who fell and became satan.

Apologies for the essay. I tend to write essays to express my ideas somewhat clearly.

Well, tada for now!