#this ones about losing friends and family

[the-cats-noodles]

Everytime I see this, everytime, someone brings up marriage as an exception and I can't help but think, really?

I get it, promises are important (to death do us part, which is in and of itself an unrealistic standard but whatever i dont have time to talk abt that) but I feel like people forget that marriage for love is relatively recent? The point of marriage being to join households and pass on property is much older (and the origin of the whole "only death can make us separate" bc property and inheritance) like, the reason people stayed together was bc of duty not love and that was a very different environment than the one now (which is good) but it still means we're talking about a standard that is unrealistic in our current environment (not to mention the insane amount of murder over not being able to get divorced in the past, like it's a very good thing we can end marriages now)

There's nothing wrong with marrying someone and wanting to stay with them forever (we chose to do this for love and that was good actually), but can we stop pretending this idea is universal?

Making a promise is all well and good, but people change and their promises do too.

Like, yes you keep growing as you get older and yes you might grow closer with your partner (and that's perfectly normal and okay) BUT you might also grow apart and that is ALSO PERFECTLY OKAY

Saying that marriage is something to exclude from the idea of decentering permanence is kinda ignoring all the people who really shouldn't be staying together but "have" to (for the kids, reputation, etc) and anybody involved definitely feels that dynamic shift...

Just, yeah "keep your promises" but also know that breaking them is a part of life and its much better for both parties if you break a promise instead of wither away trying to uphold it for some perceived sense of duty or obligation to people whose opinions literally DO NOT matter

(If you wanna be with one person forever? great! If they don't agree bc they don't love you anymore? Oh well, tough luck, I guarantee you'll be better off letting them go then forcing them to stay in a legal contract, which is what marriage becomes when you don't feel love for the other party anymore)

Also I get most people don't want to force someone to stay in a situation that makes them miserable, at least I really hope they don't, but when (as a society) we place more importance on the whole 'till death do us part' bit and less on the 'I love you and want to show it' (or even say the only way to show it is to hold onto that person forever) then it kinda forces people into this idea of "having" to stay

And look, counseling is great, it can work wonders, but it is NOT a miracle worker. It can't fix everything and it doesn't have to bc A LOT of marriages aren't broken they're just fizzling out

Am I making any sense? Who knows, but I was raised in a community where ending a marriage or relationship was worse than cheating bc "marriages are work"

They are, but you also retire from work when it becomes a strain and you can't do it anymore. You can quit a job if it doesn't fit. I'm not saying marriage is a job, but I am saying that if we expect marriage to involve work we can expect it to reach the point where people just DONT WANT TO DO THAT ANYMORE and that's okay

I'm begging: please stop insisting marriage is different from other relationships in this regard bc it isn't. It's sweet and a wonderful experience but it's still just a love between two people and we can't expect that to be magically enough to stop the natural progression all relationships go through.

You lose friends over time but some stay around. You lose family over time (like, no contact in this case not necessarily through death) but some stay around. You lose lovers and partners over time but some stay around. And that's okay, u just don't see how the last one is somehow expected to have more weight.

(Which I believe was op's point? That they're all temporary and that's a good thing actually)

Like everything is temporary, it's just sometimes that temporary lines up with our lives bc we ourselves are temporary beings, and it's okay if it does and it's okay if it doesn't.

I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success.

Like… if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you’re a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage.

The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.

I just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success… I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all.

[teambyler]

The most hypocritical anti Byler argument:

"Why can't two boys just be friends? Why do you have to make everything gay!?"

Whenever I hear this argument or some variation of it, I think back to my two cousins, one a girl and the other a boy. (One from my dad's side of the family, the other from my mom's.) They were maybe six years old at the time, and they were innocently talking and playing and giving each other math and spelling-bee quizzes. ALL my family were giggling, saying they were going to be boyfriend and girlfriend.

I also think back to all the times I see young girls being judged on their physical beauty and told they're going to have a handsome boy when they grow up because they're so pretty.

From childhood, boys and girls have their sexuality assumed for them. Their SEXUALITY and romantic possibility are talked about openly in front of their face. They're made to look at themselves sexually before they even want to.

So when people yell at Byler fans saying "Why do you have to make everything gay?" I want to scream at them:

"Why do you have to make everything straight!?"

Why do you insist on sexualizing children to be heterosexual even before they're ready to start thinking of themselves in those terms?

Why do you have no problem with Mike kissing El in season 1 right after she asks him if he's like her "brother"?

Why do you idealize their relationship when they were children, while simultaneously trying to shame Byler fans for trying to "sexualize children" even though these are fictional characters and the actors who play Mike and Will are already adults?

Why do you shame any thought or possibility of homosexual romance, while imposing heterosexual norms on everyone?

It reminds me of people who say "You can be gay of course... just don't shove it in our faces (by holding forth that you're gay, kissing in public, etc.)." When no one bats an eye when straight people do the same thing. They're willing to give lip service to LGBT+ people, but actual equality they don't accept.

It's Straight Privilege in action: the norms and standards that straight people enjoy quietly do not to apply to us.

This hypocrisy even distorts how Milkvans view Mike and El. We're told that if Mike and Will get together, that would mean Mike "used El" and El would never be able to forgive him.

Not only does this disregard that people can have amicable break-ups and still be close friends: it also shows that the idea of a platonic loving relationship between a Mike and El is beyond their comprehension. To them, the only loving relationships boys and girls can have with each other are romantic ones.

(Now, before anyone objects: sure many people accept Robin and Steve, but that's because Robin is canonically gay. We all know that before she came out many of us (me included!) were shipping those two as a couple!)

If someone ships Mike and El WITHOUT her confronting him about his poor treatment of her in early s4, without there being an honest conversation about that, this definitely raises an eyebrow from me. The "love confession" didn't address this: his fear of losing her did NOT explain failing to comfort her or failing to say he loved her. Theoretically it's possible for these two to repair things. (And if Milkvan is endgame I hope that they do by addressing this!) But for some Milkvan shippers this need to address Mike's behavior doesn't even enter their minds because they're idealizing their relationship. In other words, THEY are imposing their idea of a relationship on these two, much in the same way my family was imposing their own ideas on my two cousins without regard to the people involved.

So if anyone asks "Why can't two boys just be friends? Why do you have to make everything gay?" it's purely hypocritical and dishonest. No, we just want THIS relationship between Mike and Will (which is clearly being built up as romantic) to be gay out of a sea of heterosexual relationships on TV.

No. THEY are the ones who rule out a boy and girl just being friends. THEY are the ones who insist on imposing romance on a boy and girl when they're not ready. THEY are the ones who insist on "everything" being one way.

-teambyler

[salemlunaa]

YES, WE ARE ALWAYS SHIFTING ˚∘𓇼

manifesting and shifting are one. but why, and how?

so i did promise a longer post and had many asks prompting me to go into more detail

and to do that we must define what shifting is, like what is really is.

The GENERAL DEFINITION for the word “shifting” is "A change in position, direction, or tendency."

A change in position as in where you are in life, direction as in where your life is going and tendency being a likelihood or natural indication. For example, "she has a tendency to be lazy" a shift in that would refer to a reality where she isn't lazy.

That's it, that's all it is

You can interpret manifestation any way you want, however the reason a lot of you can't see this is that you don't understand. The stigma around "shifting" has altered your perception of the word and the process. Shifting isn't just you being whisked away on a broom to Hogwarts. Shifting isn't just you being a kpop star. You've seen people speak about shifting in such a way that you think it's this crazy astral, otherworldly experience.

Both concepts are altering your reality, whether you are inducing the void, manifesting or shifting, you are changing your position, tendency and direction. Shifting isn't change, that's it. Both concepts rely on the principle that consciousness creates reality. And in both cases, you are embodying it until your desired reality until it becomes your experience truly.

There are infinite realities, the reason why there is no difference between manifestation and shifting is that in both cases you are moving/placing your awareness in your desired reality. Yes, you shift because you manifested green eyes, because there was already a reality in which you had green eyes and all you are doing by affirming and watching subliminals for green eyes is resonating with that reality and placing your awareness in that reality.

The same goes for pure consciousness or the void, without the barriers of the time, the 3d and outerman limitations, you are able to shift timelines to a reality where all your desires have materialised.

TO SHIFT IS TO EXPERIENCE CHANGE. TO CHANGE IS TO EXPERIENCE A SHIFT. THERE IS NOTHING MORE TO IT

✺✺✺

Now for everyone's favourite counter argument: "Why would my entire family change if im losing some weight?" "I don't want to leave MY reality, with MY people for manifesting something small"

cue deep sigh….

You aren't "Leaving" anyone, when you shift your awareness and place it in your desired state, because everyone is you pushed out, the people around you will "shift" with you to update to YOUR assumptions. This isn't to say that you can shiftier enter the void to help others it means your perception of the people around you will change to accommodate your new assumptions.

You don't "lose" people, you experience them in alignment with the reality you see as desired, eg, you experience the mother who knows you with green eyes instead of brown, nothing else about her changes. You’re not getting some other mother like in Coraline

The Law didn't start existing when you found out about it or when it's convenient for you. This HAS been happening but because you didn't notice, you were fine. When you have made small changes through manifesting, your reality has shifted to where that has been true, again if you wanted green eyes, great there is a reality where you have blue, brown amber or even multi coloured eyes, but you are choosing to place your consciousness in the reality where you have green eyes.

Your family and friends aren't going to disappear because you have made a change about yourself. Your perception of them changes. If you manifest that you always had blonde hair, your parents will change but the only thing that will change about them is their recollection of you with brown hair, as they now know you've had blonde hair your whole life.

It's not some out of body experience it's shift, you're not waking up in magic world because you wanted a change in weather. A shift doesn't have to be this extravagant event. You only have that assumption because when you've seen people use the word "shift" they use it to describe massive life changes, completely changing the world around them, whether that be for a tv show or something they've scripted themselves.

Shifting means to change, that's it, that's all. "I just want to manifest in my reality" you don't have a home reality as you're always changing. There is no such thing as "your reality" for just one. All these realities are yours in the same proximity. And we are always changing.

There is no such thing as a "home reality" because reality is not fixed-it's fluid and ever-changing. Every time you manifest, you are shifting to a version of reality where your desire is already true. You're not "bringing" something into one set reality; you're aligning with a new version of it. So whether you call it manifesting or shifting, you're doing the same thing, selecting a different reality from infinite possibilities.

I think looking into quantum jumping and a quantum shift will allow you to easier see the unity in shifting and manifesting

Manifestation = having a desire → deciding you have it → by using methods, your awareness is placed in your desired state where you have that desire, nothing else has to change, but it's still a change, a shift.

WHEN YOU STOP SEEING THE CONCEPT OF A SHIFT IN SUCH A HEAVY LIGHT, YOU’LL UNDERSTAND

THERE IS NO SEPARATION, IN THIS COMMUNITY WE’RE ALL DOING THE SAME THING

[liminalweirdo]

A Tale of Two Pandemics [id under cut]. Also, this doesn't just go for people with Long COVID, but for people who are covid-concious as well. Please wear a mask. You-do-you brainrot is killing people and destroying quality of life. Put your community before the economy, wear a mask.

Soft blueish background with darker text reading, "A Tale of Two Pandemics" Long COVID by the COVID Action Map.

A flow chart beginning with: "A and B both develop new health issues after a COVID infection." Chart splits into "Person A" and "Person B"

Person A:

Goes to see their primary care doctor who refers them to several specialists

Well-informed specialists run a barrage of tests and diagnose Long COVID

Diagnosis gives clarity and allows them to connect with other people with LC

Receives specialized integrative care from health team for recovery

Institutional validation of their LC translates into social validation, support

Circumvents wait times, unavailability by paying out of pocket for care

Friends, family, loved ones happy to take precautions to prevent reinfections

Savings/financial help lets them take months or years off of work/school

Avoids reinfection with community support, money for high-quality PPE, etc.

Applies for disability benefits with the support of community, gets approved

Gradually beings to stabilize in some ways even improve over time.

Person B:

Can't afford a doctor's visit, tries to wait out all of their new health issues

Finally sees a primary care doctor who dismisses their symptoms as anxiety, etc.

No diagnosis leaves them isolated and confused about what's happening

Keeps suffering symptoms with no explanation, support, or treatment

Personal research points to LC, tries a bunch of online miracle "cures"

Tries to get into a Long COVID clinic and gets denied because they're full

Friends, family, love ones refuse to take precautions to prevent reinfections

Friends and family disbelieve them, cut them off, institutionalize them

Multiple reinfections from ongoing workplace and community exposure

Symptoms worsen with exertion and medical neglect, unable to work

Loses job, community, family, child custody, pets, housing, safety, even life

[bumblesimagines]

A Burning Hill

Request: Yes or No

Summary: Years after losing his family, former revolutionary gets the surprise of his life.

Pronouns: He/Him/His, M!Reader

CW/TW: Typical Arcane warnings, angst and death, lots of grieving, implied depression, silco when i catch you silco, child death (mylo, clogger)

divider by the-voice-beckons-below 

~~~

(Y/N) felt like a ghost on most days. He floated through the filthy streets of Zaun, ignorant to the buzzing and life around him whilst he walked from street to street until he reached his desolate home by the murky, polluted river. He preferred it, no matter how isolated from the rest of the city. It was home. Old, dull, and free from the tormenting memories the rest of the city held. Life passed him by steadily enough to keep everything at bay, anyway. 

The once-vibrant neon signs around the city buildings looked dull when he glanced at the blinking lights. Everything looked dull, washed of its original color, and rendered lifeless in his eyes. There was nothing pretty about Zaun anymore, nothing worth truly fighting for.

It didn't matter how many times Ekko visited him, all the speeches and pep talks he stubbornly gave while (Y/N) watched him only ever seeing the little boy he'd been and not the leader he'd grown into. He'd been like him once.. a long, long time ago.

"(Y/N)!" A gravelly voice called out from one of the stands lined along the rain-slicked cobble street. Mod raised a hand in greeting and then lifted a wooden bowl, the contents inside swishing and nearly dripping off the sides. He wiggled it enticingly and arched one bushy brow while a coaxing grin spread across his face. 

Somewhat reluctantly, (Y/N) approached the stand and pushed the hood of his old cloak back as he took a seat on one of the stools. Mod set the bowl before him and stuck a spoon in the fish soup. His reflection blinked slowly back at him, the bags under his eyes noticeable even in the cerulean broth. "Thanks." He muttered, his voice scratchy.

"Anythin' for you, boss." Mod chuckled heartily, thick fingers scratching at his patchy brown beard before he leaned his broad frame against the counter. There was a twinkle in his eyes, bright and mischievous. "Say, boss-"

"I'm not your boss." (Y/N) shoved a spoonful of broth with a chunk of fish into his mouth. 

Mod nodded solemnly. "'Course, 'course... I was talkin' to my pal the other day. You remember Divo, right? Well, he and his old lady finally called it quits, and I hear he's got his eye on you-" 

(Y/N)'s eyes darted up to meet Mod's hazel ones, his grip on the spoon tightening faintly. Not a single muscle in his face moved, yet Mod clamped his mouth shut instantly and turned his back to him to continue tending the stove with a nervous chuckle. (Y/N) chewed slowly on the fish, letting the flavor dance on his tongue and then swallowing.

He lifted the bowl and slurped as much of the broth as he could into his mouth before letting the bowl fall onto the counter with a clatter and wiping the leftover droplets from his mouth. He slapped a few coins on the table and slid off the stool to continue his way through the crowd, turning a deaf ear to Mod's calls for him.

Zaun was as alive as always. Kids were running about, most of them either fleeing from someone or rushing to catch up with their friends. His heart always clenched when he looked at them, when there was a straggler who couldn't keep up with the older kids.

His eyes always naturally gravitated toward them to watch, despite the stabbing feeling that pierced his gut each time. There was a reason he kept himself unfocused from the goings of the city; everything was a goddamn reminder. 

Ducking into an alleyway and dodging the rat that skittered across his path, he began making his way down the usual route to his place. He withheld a sigh when he stepped in a puddle and briefly stopped to shake the droplets from his drenched boot.

He only took a couple more steps before his ears picked up the splash of the puddle, and his mind jerked awake with newfound alertness. He bit his cheek, cursing whatever gods were watching over Zaun. The last thing he wanted was dealing with some stupid thief or wannabe thug trying to earn street cred. 

Once their footsteps grew closer, he swiftly spun around and grabbed the front of their shift, a yelp escaping the person when he slammed them into the nearest wall. His grip on their collar tightened until the breath was roughly sucked free from his lungs, every muscle in his body tensing.

He stared at the girl in his grasp, taking in the stunned look in her familiar light gray eyes and the short spiky magenta hair he knew so well. Her face was straight from his memories, only with sharper features, older features. His forehead creased in confusion, and he released her to take a startled step away from her. 

"Violet?" He exhaled a name he hadn't spoken in years, his chest stuttering with a shaky inhale.

His eyes flickered all over her face, lingering on the scars and the VI tattoo on her right cheek. No, Violet... His Violet was dead​​​​​​, just like Mylo and Clogger.. like Vander. He sucked another breath, his heart picking up into a pace that made it difficult to breathe. 

Violet stared back at him, her features softening until she looked like the fourteen-year-old girl that haunted his dreams, the little girl he lost along with his boys and husband. Her face contorted rapidly, scrunching up with her quivering lips as her eyes flooded with tears.

She gasped for air, one tear managing to escape before she fell into his arms with a sob, an act she'd done a million times before. His arms instinctively wrapped around her and pulled her tight to his chest, his own eyes beginning to sting with tears.

"Dad," She wept into his shoulder, her hands desperately clawing at his back until they bunched up his cloak into her fists. His hold tightened around her until he was cradling her as close as possible. He couldn't bear to consider if it was just another dream where she'd be violently ripped away from him all over again. "I'm so sorry."

"What the fuck."

His heart was thrumming like hell in his ears, his eyes wildly flickering over the burning warehouse by the river that looked like it'd been destroyed by some sort of explosion. He searched for anything, any noise or sign that someone, anyone, was alive and in need of help.

He searched for Vander, half-expecting him to stumble out of the ruins, but as he grew closer, with Ekko's hand tightly clutched in his, he spotted something that made his heart drop to his feet.

"No.." He exhaled and dropped Ekko's hand to rush forward, past the debris and flames, toward the corpse lying on the ground. 

His knees groaned when he collapsed onto them, but the pain barely registered in his frantic mind. Lying there, battered and lifeless, was Vander's body. It was mutated, parts of him enlarged unnaturally with prominent black veins and sickening bruises scattered across his body.

His grey eyes, the ones that always lit up at the sight of him, were pale and lifeless, blankly staring up at the night sky above them. His trembling hands took his cheeks, a sob tearing from his throat when Vander's head lolled to the side. 

"Van, c'mon, don't- don't do this, please." He couldn't breathe. Teardrops dripped and rolled off Vander's cheek, mixing with the splatters of blood and grime. His hands moved to his shoulders, and he shook him lightly, willing him to come back by some miracle. "Vander, hey, baby... c'mon. Come back to me, please. You- You can't leave me. You made an oath, Vander. You made an- an oath. You made a fucking oath."

His fingers dug into Vander's skin, once warm but now growing cold with the night air. (Y/N) held his cheeks in his palms, praying to whatever deity came to mind to bring his husband back to him, but Vander's lifeless eyes remained half-lidded and his chest remained still.

(Y/N) grinded his teeth together, his vision blurring until the hot tears tumbled down his cheeks, and he collapsed over Vander's corpse, half-sobbing half-screaming until his voice grew hoarse. 

"Please, please, don't do this to me..." He whimpered, helplessly reaching for Vander's limp arm and raising it to press his large, collaoused palm over his cheek.

The cool metal of his wedding band pressed into (Y/N)'s skin, burning like a hot iron. Their wedding day flashed clear before his eyes: the party at the Last Drop, the stupidly sugary sweet vows Vander spoke into the microphone that had him unable to make eye contact, the dancing and festivities that kept the bar alive with a happiness they hadn't experienced in ages, little Violet and baby Powder giggling along the whole night with their mother and father.

He looked down at him through blurry, unfocused vision, the heaves and sobs wrecking through his body until it grew sore. This wasn't how they were supposed to part. It wasn't. They were supposed to grow old and frail and gray.

"(Y/N).." Ekko's soft, trembling voice reached his ears. "I... I found this."

Sniffling, (Y/N) lifted his head and turned toward the little boy, a strangled noise emitting from his throat at the sight of Clogger's goggles in his hands, shattered and bloodied. He reached a shaking hand out to gingerly grab them, his thumb rubbing over the glass until his skin caught on the broken glass.

Clogger, Mylo... his boys. His sweet, troublemaking boys. He surveyed the mess around them in search of his missing daughters, but there was no sign of them. His eyes dropped back to his husband.

He'd never be able to listen to one of Mylo's rambly vents again or tend to his injuries while he huffed and puffed. He'd never be able to fix up Clogger's goggles when they broke for the tenth time or share an eye roll over someone's childish antics again. He'd never get to curl up in Vander's arms at night and listen to his rumbling laugh while he recounted his day or feel his lips brush over his ear while he muttered corny love confessions that always made him flush and roll his eyes. 

"Who..." His jaw clenched. "Who did this?"

Ekko wiped his runny nose and swallowed, his big, watery eyes narrowing. "Silco."

Silco.

Always. Fucking. Silco.

He stumbled onto his feet in an instant, the bottom of his boots slapping against the stone as he took off down the path leading back into the city. The buildings, markets, and nightlife passed him by in a blur of gray and neon as he ventured further and further toward the inner parts of the Lanes where he knew, he just knew, Silco would be. Other Zaunites leaped out of the way, with those who were too slow being shoved aside until the Last Drop came into view. His home, his sanctuary, and there were already lackeys shuffling in and out of the bar. 

He was heaving by the time he swung the bar doors open, his steps slightly staggered as he entered the familiar bar. Some of their regulars were already arguing with Silco's men; Sevika sat at one of the booths with a pained expression as someone hurriedly tended to her shoulder where her arm was simply gone; those injured from the warehouse soothed themselves with alcohol bought from Vander's hard-earned money.

He almost laughed at the absurdity of it all. 

(Y/N) shoved Clogger's goggles into his pocket, ignoring the pain in his hand from where glass shards embedded themselves into his palm. He took in a staggering breath. "Where... the fuck is Silco?" 

Wide eyes turned in his direction. The regulars frowned sympathetically, and their heckles raised on his behalf, while the lackeys that blindly followed Silco exchanged panicked or hesitant glances. He scanned the bar, but no one uttered a word, leaving the air with a suffocating tension.

One of the younger lackeys glanced up toward the office, the office he used to plan out his ideas, and then shrunk back into his seat when he caught (Y/N) staring daggers at him. Another lackey had the bright idea to step in front of him, his chest puffed out with smug arrogance over their 'victory'. 

His husband was dead. Murdered brutally alongside the orphaned children they took in when everyone else turned their backs on them. The only feeling (Y/N) that knew better than grief was pure, unbridled rage. He'd locked the rage away years ago, worked on it until it was tamed for the sake of his children, who'd grown up seeing too much violence on the streets to see it from their protector. It brewed in his stomach relentlessly now, simmering and growing until it made his body run hot. 

The young man only had a second to react, a second for surprise to flash over his face, before (Y/N) twisted his dark hair in his fist and slammed his head into the nearest table. He dug the heel of his hand into the man's temple, and with his move, the tension broke, and people lunged at each other. (Y/N) released the stranger, watching him slump onto the floor and clutch his no doubt throbbing head, before he walked around him and bounded up the metal stairs leading up to his office.

There were thuds, crashes, glass shattering, and shouting behind him, but he was only focused on the wooden door growing closer. Silco stood inside his office in the bar his husband owned after slaughtering his family. Silco turned toward him when the floorboards creaked underneath his weight, his mismatched eyes widening before (Y/N)'s fist connected with his cheek.

Silco stumbled backward, his hip bumping into the desk covered in the papers he used for designing mechanisms and technology. He grabbed onto the desk, half-way hunched over as blood dripped down from his nose and onto his vest. 

"Felicia wasn't enough for you, was she?" (Y/N) spat out through gritted teeth, drawing Silco's eyes back to his face. They remained widened for a long second and then flickered away to the framed picture hanging on the wall of them back before her death, back before the brotherly bond between Vander and Silco dissolved. "Your ambition took my sister, my brother-in-law, but you couldn't stop there, could you? You just had to take my husband and children, too."

Silco brushed his fingers over the streak of blood coating his upper lip and straightened up, palm brushing back the dark strands that fell over his face from the hit. "I never intended for Felicia and Connol to get hurt." He said grimly, curling his hands around the hem of his vest to adjust it properly over his body. "The children weren't supposed to be there. The boys... Violet. They were... collateral damage."

(Y/N) stared at him, aghast, his fingers curling into fists once more despite the sharp pain in his hands. "Vander and I loved you once." He gritted his teeth, tears tittering on the edge of his vision.

There were faint memories of them in that very office, hunched over the desk while dreaming up what Zaun would look like without Piltover's boot on their necks. Memories of them chatting in a corner of the Last Drop until Silco practically shoved him into Vander's arms so they could dance with Felicia. Silco blinked at him in startlement.

"I thought.. You were the cleverest man in Zaun, that you'd be the one to help us make Zaun better than Piltover. But you're just a filthy, weak little fucking rat." 

(Y/N) barely registered how quickly he closed the distance until his hand fisted the collar of Silco's shirt and shoved him onto the floor. He followed him down, his knees pinning Silco's shoulders down against the floorboards as he tugged his knife free from its holster around his waist. Silco's eyes widened again, his hands clutching and shoving against (Y/N)'s legs. 

"If Felicia saw you-" Silco gasped out. "-what would she say?" 

"She'd hate you for what you did to her daughters, you piece of shit!"

Heavy footsteps quickly grew near, and a bulky arm swooped around his waist to haul him off Silco. "(Y/N), enough-" Sevika hissed in his ear, a strained, pained groan filling his ear as she staggered, weakened from the blow that'd taken her arm.

His legs kicked out toward the desk, and he used it to propel himself back into her, the weight and force forcing her to stumble back until she slammed into the wall. She released him with a cry and clutched at her shoulder with heavy breaths. 

He caught himself before he fell, his hand still clutching the knife like a vice when he turned to face Silco. The thin man scrambled to get to his feet again, but (Y/N) swiftly kicked him back down, his movements growing sluggish from exhaustion. He slumped back onto the floor, one knee pinning Silco's forearm and soaking in the wince. He was tired, too. Bastard. 

"Vander... Vander thought you were redeemable, even after what you did to Felicia and Connol. He wanted to talk, to make amends, and you slaughtered him like a pig, you-" (Y/N) inhaled sharply, frantically blinking away the tears building in his eyes. Silco froze at his words, stiffening fully underneath him and staring up at him with big eyes. (Y/N) scoffed, disgusted just by looking at his shock. "It should've been your body lying there, forgotten and alone."

(Y/N) raised the blade yet hesitated, his quivering lips pressing together tightly as his eyes flickered between Silco's eyes. The blue-green of his right that'd once been warm and gentle made his stomach churn violently.

For a moment, he found himself staring down at the Silco he used to know, the soft-spoken yet sarcastic young man who'd sit with him while he sketched and offer pointers with a small, tender smile. (Y/N) squeezed his eyes shut and brought the knife down, listening to it embed itself in the floorboard. Silco released a quiet, shaky breath.

Swallowing harshly, (Y/N) opened his eyes to glare down at him. "Where's Powder?" 

"My baby girl," (Y/N) carefully cradled her face in his hands, stroking his thumb over her pale skin as a manic laugh fell from his lips. She was real. "They told me you were dead. I-I thought you died with Mylo and Clogger that night. I should've- I should've looked harder. Where- Where have you been?" 

Violet wrapped her bandaged hands around his wrists and nuzzled her face into his palms, her shoulders lightly trembling as she took in a staggered breath. "Stillwater." She whispered, her teeth gently biting at her bottom lip as her eyes flickered away with a wince. "That Piltover officer.. the one that worked with Grayson, he.. he took me there. Kept me there this whole time." Her jaw clenched.

(Y/N) bit his tongue and took in a slow inhale, his eyes closing briefly. Marcus. He'd always hated the asshole, even more so after his promotion. "How- How'd you get out?" He blinked his eyes open, his brows knitting together in bewilderment. "Did- Did you escape?"

Stillwater was notorious for keeping a tight hold on its prisoners, and even if one managed to escape, the treacherous waters surrounding the small island would kill anyone who tried fleeing via swimming or boat. Violet had always been resilient, but even she couldn't have possibly escaped alone.

"No, I-"

"Violet! You have got to stop disappearing like that!" 

At the end of the alleyway, a young woman stumbled toward them, her fingers tugging the hood back over her head when it slipped after her clumsy attempt at wriggling free from the crowd. She kept her gaze pointed toward the crowd before she turned to look at them, her lips parting to speak, but she quickly closed them when she noticed him. She froze, stiff like a plank, and then slowly raised her hand to give an awkward wave. 

"Dad," Violet began, her lips twisting into a sheepish, hesitant smile. He frowned. Nothing good ever came out of a smile like that. "This is Caitlyn Kirraman."

"Kiramman?"/ "Dad?!"

(Y/N)'s head turned back to the dark blue haired-girl with a squinted gaze that only made her stiffen again. He raked his eyes over her slender figure, taking note of the clothes beneath the draps hanging onto her shoulders.

Her skin was too clear, too perfect. Her hair was too sleek and shiny. Her clothes were prim and delicate, not a hole or tear or washed-out color on a single article. Her hands looked smooth, free of callouses. Her body flinched with each loud noise that came from the night market, like a mouse in a den of vipers. Topsider, and given the weapon strapped to her back, she was an Enforcer.

He snapped his attention back to Violet and tore his hands from her face to set them over his hips disapprovingly. Violet's sheepish look grew, and she dropped her eyes onto the ground, where she lightly kicked a pebble aside. "You're with a Enforcer?! Violet! You just told me you were at Stillwater- I- Ugh." (Y/N) pinched the bridge of his nose. "What am I going to do with you, Vi?" 

"Love me?" Violet proposed with a little, cheeky smile. 

(Y/N)'s shoulders sagged, a huff of amusement slipping past his lips before he tugged her into another tight embrace. "I missed your smartass comments, you little asshole." Violet's laugh sounded muffled against his shoulder, her arms sliding around his waist in an equally tight hug. "I always knew you'd be hard to get rid of.. like dog shit that gets stuck on the bottom of shoes." Violet laughed again, this time lightly pushing at his chest and rolling her eyes. 

"Ahem," Caitlyn shuffled forward toward them, her eyes jumping between their faces before she focused on him and stuck her hand out for him to shake with a polite yet strained smile. "As Vi said, I'm Caitlyn Kiramman. I helped your daughter get out of Stillwater Prison this morning." 

(Y/N) eyed her outstretched hand. "Why?"

"I.." Caitlyn trailed off, her fingers curling inward before she dropped her hand back to her side. "I need her help.. and yours, I suppose. There is an... ongoing investigation regarding stolen shipments that I have reason to believe have been orchestrated by the man you all know as Silco. If I gather enough evidence, we may be able to put him behind bars for once and for all." She firmly nodded. 

(Y/N)'s mouth drew into a taut line, his front teeth dragging along each other. He could still hear his own sobs echoing in his ears, the hoarse screams into his pillow the following weeks after the warehouse incident. He was so tired. He stared down at the stone ground beneath them, watching the water covering it reflect the neon signs lining the tops of the buildings above them.

His head shook lightly. "Don't bother."

"Dad, c'mon... You still have power here. People still respect you; some still fear you." Violet placed her hand over his shoulder, her fingers gently squeezing it. "If you rallied the people-"

"Your father was the leader, Violet. I was the follower, the one who took orders, the one who had to be patched up constantly. Everything and everyone I fought for is.. is gone. I have nothing left in me, Vi, I don't. All I do is wait for the day I can reunite with Van and be done with all this." 

The corners of Violet's brows angled upward. "You- You have me. I'm here, Dad. I'm- I'm back... and Powder.. she's still here, right? She's okay, right? Tell me she's okay, please."

"It's complicated, Vi. She.. She's alive." The relieved, breathy laugh that escaped Violet made him wince. He raised his gaze off the ground to look at her, the pained frown on his lips wiping the relief clean from her face. "I see her, sometimes. She pops by when she feels like it. Sometimes, we'll bump into each other and talk. She... she hasn't gone by Powder in a long time. Powpow doesn't exist anymore, Vi. She's one of Silco's lackeys now."

"What?"

"I've tried getting through to her for ages, even Ekko's given it a go, but she's stubborn. She's not well, Vi.. and Silco- Silco refuses to see it. I've told him time and time again but-" (Y/N) rubbed his fingertips over his forehead, soothing away a building headache. Their countless arguments rang clear in his ears. It was like talking to a wall on most days. "Our talks never go anywhere. I hate him too much, and he knows it. Uses it as a reason not to believe me. It's hopeless, Vi."

"No... No, no, I don't-" Violet turned away from him, one hand raising to clutch her chest while the other braced against the wall. "I-I don't believe that. She- She'd never work for him, not after what he did. You're wrong. I can help her, I swear. I-I can get through to her. I can prove it."

"It's not that simple, Vi." 

"I'm her big sister." Violet's hands curled into fists, and her head raised to look at him, the determination in her eyes startlingly similar to Vander's. It made his throat tighten. "She's my responsibility."

"You're my girls, Vi. You two will always be my responsibility... but things are different. If I push too hard, I risk losing her forever." He stepped toward her, reaching out to delicately touch her chin and remind himself she really was alive. Alive and no longer the little girl he'd taken care of since she was a newborn. "If you go running after her and Silco finds out, who knows what he'll do. I can't lose you again." 

"I'm not a kid anymore, Dad. I can take care of myself." A tender smile spread on Violet's face, her hand enveloping his reassuringly. "I'll bring Powder back, and we'll be a family again, I promise."

[jamethinks]

Here's the thing about Anya.

Her primary goal is to achieve world peace, a concept she has no understanding of but she is fervently dedicated. Some part it is due to her childish attitude and obsession with spies but there is another part.

Anya does not understand her own self-worth and self-identity outside of her role as a tool in achieving "world peace".

When Anya grew up her main purpose was always "for the sake of world peace". Everything she did was for that sake. It was almost as if her entire reason for existing was for world peace. But it also wasn't, because she was made by accident. This adds an extra dimension where she was seen as optional. This would obviously damage herself esteem and really force her to want to please the people around her because in their minds she was more of a hassle.

When Anya was finally adopted by Twilight she found out he had the same goal as the scientists that held her before. Also, more directly he is willing to discard of her if she is not up to the task. In a way, Twilight is no different than the scientists that had her before. Of course over time he eventually empathize with her and focus more on her comfort than functionality. He does not directly scold Anya to force her fulfill this role but her telepathy gives her that knowledge.

But you clearly see the impact of the scientist on Anya's sense of self and how Twilight does not do much to help (although to some extent it is not his fault).

Anya remains fairly optimistic about the whole thing and continues to aim to achieve her goal. But we also see where these ideas negatively effect her. It makes her clingy, desperate, it keeps her in a constant fear of rejection. even the most minor forms of rejection can completely shatter her because she for her any failure puts her one step closer back into the street.

This is one of the traits she actually shares with both Damian and Becky. I will focus on Damian to keep it short though. Damian is very preoccupied with being the best. He lives a very isolated life and has no relationship with his own family. For what ever reason, he accredits this to his father. Damian believes that the only to get his father's approval and therefore his (and the rest of his families') love is if he succeeds. There is also this additional pressure put on him because of his father's status which externalizes this pressure. The reason he likes Anya so much is because she does not apply that pressure. She does not expect to be great, she just wants to be his friend for her mission. There is also that transparency which makes him feel less tricked and hence safe.

The Prince kid also mirrors that same dilemma. He has a responsibility as the Prince to maintain a certain standard and reputation. His family needs him to be strong and noble but in the end he is just a kid. When he is confront by the Freddy he is scared out of his mind, worried that if he loses he will disappoint his family.

The problem with this however, is that it further surrounds Anya with people that think the same way she does. This only encourages this kind of thinking. Anya is constantly surrounded by people that echo the same negative sentiments she has about herself and self worth. For Damian (and Becky) it works because it gives her ground to relate to them and her seemingly carefree nature allows her to motivate them to let go of this attitude.

But who is encouraging Anya to relax? Who is encouraging Anya to let go of these insecurities?

Anya's identity and motivation is still defined through her father and to a less extent the scientist. she is still motivated by the idea of world peace. However, Anya herself does not know what that means or why she should be aiming for it. It is more of a concept to her than a tangible goal. Her only true goal is to not be returned. For that reason she will never push back against Loid, she will follow his guidance and never develop a personal goal.

Now here is where i think Freddy or some delinquent of some sort will come in use.

For Anya to gain a sense of identity, she needs to push back against her father. She needs to start doing things that prioritizes her own happiness over her father's aim for world peace. She needs someone that will push into her more natural self. Anya is naturally a girl of chaos and mischief. She is not like the others who well behaved and properly trained, nor is she personally interested in being that girl. The only reason Anya is interested in achieving this is for the sake of father. She does not understand the purpose of a lot of these things she is just afraid of being sent back to the orphanage.

I feel like Anya having someone who can encourage her to lean more into the rebel side and allow to actually challenge the things she has been told. Children are curious by nature and one aspect of that is the question of "why?". Constantly provoking the people around them to explain and justify the things they tell them. Anya should also be able to decide what she agrees with and what she disagrees with. She also suffer from natural consequences of her actions. And you will never have that if never challenge your parents or teachers.

Anya is surrounded by goodie two shoes. Although she is still in touch with that curious and defiant side but if there is no one else around to encourage it she will continue to conform and eventually that curious side of her will disappear. If she never gets someone who can remind her to be young and curious she will lose that part of herself. She needs Freddy. Fuck you.

[willielli]

i have complicated feelings about the willel being one person theory (like, on one hand, the subtext supporting it is undeniably there, but on the other... i just can't deal with el not being her own person, lol sorry). however, this metaphor still works even if we assume this is a case of an even more extremely mistaken identity, and the one who's right on the money here is actually... argyle.

supergirl aka kara zor-el is clark's cousin, who (unlike clark/kal-el that had arrived on earth as a baby and grew up leading a normal life, save for developing superpowers he couldn't tell anyone about), had remained on krypton after the planet blew up and only left for the earth when the last surviving argo city became uninhabitable due to kryptonite poisoning.

so, while superman was raised as your regular human, supergirl was 15-16 by the time she entered the earth society, meaning she had to start over as an outsider and relearn everything about life. her superhero status was hid from the society by clark for the time being while she was training to control her powers, so she adopts the identity of an orphan linda lee. during a period when she loses her powers due to some villain machinations, she is adopted by the danvers family and starts attending a high school.

does that remind you of anyone?

while will has some great thematic parallels to clark kent/superman (living a normal life, but having to hide a huge secret about your identity which might destroy everything if it ever gets out), el is a lot more like linda lee danvers/supergirl (growing up in a secluded place that is culturally different from the wide society, having to adapt and learn how to be human).

both kal-el and kara zor-el are kryptonians and have the same superpowers, so could it be that lois lane mistakes one for another? especially when superman is hiding behind supergirl's name, pretending to be just clark kent, her friend.

The Superman Reference

How “on the nose” it is but so many of us missed it

A man with a secret and a disguise to conceal the truth from his love interest…

Superman and Clark Kent

Whenever Superman is brought up in this fandom, it’s usually just pointed out as gay Mike evidence. While I do agree that Mike is in fact gay, I don’t think that’s the only point of the reference. Additionally, Superman is brought up because of dual personas/disguises.

It’s definitely worth noting that Argyle refers to El as “Supergirl” and “superpowered girlfriend” but only Mike refers to El as “Superman”. More specifically, he only refers to El as such in the van scene. He even takes things a step further and compares himself to Superman’s love interest… Lois Lane.

Lois Lane is unaware of who the man is behind Superman (Clark Kent).

In the same scene with the Superman/Lois Lane reference… Will expresses his feelings for Mike… under a disguise!

Clark Kent is Superman’s alter ego. He is Superman in disguise. He is the persona of Superman that allows him to blend in and essentially “hide”. As above describes, he’s passive and introverted… much like…

I must say that, it’s very interesting how for most of Stranger Things, Will and El are not “present” at the same time. When El appears, Will disappears. When Will appears, El disappears. This of course is mainly true during the first two seasons of the show.

Now, even if you do not subscribe to the theories that Will and El are actually somehow one and the same or even to theories that Will has powers… Will being Clark Kent still works.

Much like Clark Kent with Lois Lane, Will has been harbouring a major secret from Mike. His secret of course being that he’s gay and in love with Mike. Though perhaps, he may have other secrets as well. We will just have to wait for ST5 to know for sure.

As we all know, Will is disguising his feelings in this scene. He is “El”; thus he is “Superman” here.

And I think Mike has known a long time… deep down.

[hug-me-hard-so-i-dont-forget-you]

Can we talk about Buck's abandonment issues for a minute? You're probably thinking "Yeah his parents were neglectful and Maddie keeps running away." But there's so much more:

First and foremost we see two scenes where his parents are giving him attention but only in a negative light. All the while they're not telling him WHY they're upset/disappointed in him.

Then of course, there's the many times he's lost/had to say goodbye to Maddie. (Not pictured: when she ran away to Boston)

Then we've got any and all friends/relationships he had when travelling from Pennsylvania to LA.

Then we've got Abby leaving, without telling him beforehand, for an indeterminate amount of time. Leaving him to haunt her apartment and then forcing him to rescue her fiancé that she somehow acquired while never actually out right breaking up with Buck.

Next is Redmond 'Red' Walker. The man Buck warms up to very quickly and whom he sees as his future self: a man who's truly, completely alone in the world.

THEN his friends who only show up to ask for his sperm, make him be the go-between when they have a fight, and then make him deliver the baby and ruin his couch. And he held his biological child in his arms with tears in his eyes and just never saw him again. They never even mention it again.

GIVE THIS MAN A BABY

Then, of course we have his older brother, Daniel. Basically the only reason Buck was even born. The person his family kept from him for nearly 30 years. And no, he didn't particularly abandon him but he was given all of this information in one afternoon and that's a lot to process.

And we can't not mention Chris. He lost him once before, blaming himself the whole time. He wasn't even the one to find him in the end so he never really got that closure.

And we talk about how heartbroken Eddie was about Chris leaving but what about Buck?? He was basically a second father for him. Not only that, but he was the last one to speak to him before he walked out. Eddie threw a Hail Mary by calling Buck, asking him to do "what you always do." Only this time it didn't work and he 'failed.'

We get another instance of Buck learning way too much information in one night: not only discovering that he likes Tommy, but the fact that he likes guys AT ALL. He goes through an identity crisis and has a bit of a panic attack. And what does Tommy do in response? Leaves him outside of the restaurant on their first date. Then, 6 months in, Buck thinks he's in love and asks him to move in, complete with heart eyes and oblivion. And instead of going their date that night Tommy decides to break up with him. I understand his reasoning: knowing Buck is just a baby gay and needs to find himself a bit more before settling down. But Buck is also a 3-braincelled puppydog when he's infatuated and he needs to be handled gently or else he's gonna use up the city's flour supply, baking away his temptations.

And now he's losing his absolute best friend. The one he works with, eats dinner with, co-parents a child with, facetimes/texts/calls during the rare times they're NOT together. The one who restarted his heart after getting struck by the same bolt of lightning. The one who wasn't in his coma dream because without Buck his life went to shit. The one who immediately accepted him when he came out, encouraged him to give it a try with Tommy, and then supported him after the breakup when he was going through withdrawals. The one that he can't imagine his life without because he has become such an integral part of every aspect of his life.

I'm surprised this man has kept it together this long and hasn't shut everyone out completely. My heart hurts just thinking about it.

[cellularfish]

Dick going on a self-imposed exile after killing the Joker and approached by infatuated Jason, who visited him once in a while out of mask. Meanwhile, Dick was convinced he went insane—thinking his mind made up a realistic hallucination of adult Jason, praising him and validating his action.

Bruce will never agree to killing, even if said person was the killer of his son. Barbara didn't agree either, even if it was the culprit who crippled her. But Jason? He was dead (as far as Dick knew) and that left his reaction up to imagination. Jason was ecstatic at the news—Nightwing had chosen family over duty, chosen love over code.

The sheer fact made Jason heady, looking after Dick while the older man closed off any other people. They would bond over shared trauma and eventually got closer. The reveal will be a bit rocky but it's quickly resolved. Jason was one of the few people who Dick can be around without filtering himself. He knew Dick wasn't perfect but also didn't have certain expectations Dick's friends had.

All I'm saying is it was insane that Dick did exactly what Jason wanted in Bruce. Jason wanted the Joker dead because he harmed too many people. Dick beaten the Joker to death because he had taken too much from Dick's loved ones. They wanted the same thing. They were angry about the same thing. But Dick had a lot to lose, including his psyche and still did it anyway.

And what was Dick doing in his canon self-imposed exile? Looking at a photo of him and Jason.

[amongthebooks]

Ghost has a secret. 

A small, shameful secret that’s coiled deep inside the darkest part of his mind, and he hates himself for it.

There is a tiny… minuscule part of him that finds relief in the fact that Soap gets nightmares about him. 

It’s selfish and disguising, he knows. 

He understands more than anyone how debilitating nightmares can be, especially those depicting the loss of someone you hold close. There’s so many nights he’s been in that exact position, heart violently carved out of his chest at the very real feeling of grief that’s left him sick for hours in the aftermath. 

He would never wish it upon anyone, and yet…

It makes him feel wanted, needed, when it’s Soap.

Nightmares like that can’t be faked. When Soap is sobbing in his arms, shaking against his chest, and Ghost gets to offer quiet reassurances that he’ll never leave? That he’s alive and they’re safe and he’s not going anywhere?

It’s one of the only ways he can trust the proof that Soap innately cares about him. 

And he hates himself for it.

It’s gross, that he can only feel that validation through someone’s raw fears.

He knows it stems from a time before he joined the army. Back when he was just a boy, so desperate to be shown care and affection against a family that never sought him out. Not for comfort, not for his presence. No one ever taught him that he was wanted, that he mattered. 

He loves his Johnny— more than life itself— and he knows that Soap loves him back. Life for him is different than it used to be. The Scot shows his affection in so many ways, it would be impossible not to tell how gone he is on the other man. They were made for each other, partners in every sense of the word, and Ghost would never doubt that. 

So why do those subconscious fears reassure him more than everything else combined? 

When Soap shoots awake in panic and it’s not until he lays eyes on Ghost that his body settles, why does his heart always tug— not strictly out of concern for Soap’s wellbeing, but because it proves again and again that his life is valued. 

It makes him feel important in a way nothing else can. Ghost is the only one that can help Soap through the memories and false visions. Soap knows so many people, has meaningful relationships with endless family and friends across the globe, and yet it’s the fear of Ghost dying that scares him the most. So shaken by the image of Ghost being gone one day that he’ll scramble across base and into his lieutenant’s room just to confirm it’s not true. 

Ghost knows he needs to stop thinking about it like this. Nightmares are debilitating in the worst way, and it’s not fair to take any amount of pleasure in Soap’s suffering. He should be focused on calming him down, getting his breathing under control as fast as possible so that he doesn’t lose too much sleep over whatever his mind has conjured up. 

He keeps telling himself that he’ll train out of the mindset every time he sees how distraught Soap gets. 'This is the last time,' he’ll think as he’s carding his fingers through Soap’s hair. Promising himself that he’ll work towards being a better man, one that didn’t desire a sick sense of reassurance. 

And yet… every time Soap comes to him, he’s too slow to tamper down that familiar surge of validation. Letting it ride out once more wouldn’t hurt, would it? 

Soap needs him, after all.

[shanklin]

What if Stan gives shanklin a mini-Mr. Mystery outfit!

The two be twinning!

Also I was thinking what if Stan has a slow arc of learning how to be comfortable or trust adults again.

For reasons he can’t explain, he has a hard time being able to talk to adult men, his heart pounds faster, he feels a little queasy, and his palms get sweaty. Soos is a unexpected exception, with Soos, maybe it’s his more relaxed personality or the way that Soos sits with him and treats Stan like a friend, that makes Stan relax around him.

However for someone new like Melody, not only do Stan’s insecurities flare up, but so does his fight, flight, freeze or fawn instincts activate as well.

Melody feels like a threat to him at first, but gradually, Stan starts to feel safe with her too.

Also the Grunks & Grants,

In a way, their flaws give them room to grow and self reflect. By realizing their mistakes they made with Stan, maybe they themselves can learn to heal from past wounds.

I kinda think of this scene where Mabel finally figured out she messed up, the core problem of why Stan no longer trusts her. The realization came after something mundane, she was watching a parent with their kid, and their kid is throwing a tantrum.

So Mabel goes in to help. Another person who is watching, remarks how the kid is being selfish and should shut up. The parent of the kid though, defends their kid, and says,

“How about you shut up! Kids are allowed to be selfish! That’s the point of being a kid. If you make mistakes and learn and grow but you can’t do that if you’re self less all the time.”

That when it sort of clicks entirely for Mabel as she says in a quiet, broken voice, “They…are?”

The parent, looks over to Mabel and says, “I’ve knew someone who gave away every part of themselves, until there was nothing left. Seeing that… it’s heartbreaking to see someone become that. I refuse to let my kid, restrict themselves or keep from being who they are.”

I want to see a slow arc of Stan on rocky waters with Dipper and Mabel and eventually build that bond back up.

Speaking of slow rebuilding, like Ford and Stan, man.

Maybe Ford is frustrated because he doesn’t know his brother anymore and it feels like their bond is estranged. Ford is in denial trying to think everything is fine but knows deep down that he doesn’t know how to fix this. Also maybe there’s a certain bit of jealousy of Soos and Missy Gleeful who are able to get along better with Stan now. That’s supposed to be his twin, sure Ford wanted space, but he also misses his brother. But he doesn’t know the right words or actions to get them to reconcile, to get Stan to look him in the eyes. Or for Stan to stop looking all jumpy all the time.

Also the thing with Missy Gleeful is incredibly interesting!!! Like since the two can bond over bad dads, maybe the two start to learn how to unravel and be kids again. Maybe Missy Gleeful helps Stan’s business in secret.

Oh and Wendy!! What ideas should we do with Wendy?

Selfish Shellfish AU - Masterpost

Oh dear anon, this is a mess of a reply and I couldn't keep my thoughts straight. But here you go. A long answer for a long ask.

Stan & the Adults

That’s exactly what I need.  And I need it to hurt. For every step forward they move two steps back.

The heartbreaking thing is, Stan doesn’t blame them. Hell, Stan doesn’t blame Filbrick for being hard on him. They were just trying to help him. To fix him.

How does Stan repay his family? By killing the one person who stayed with him through everything and avoiding and disappointing the others. Stan was supposed to be better by now, more grown up so they want him around and now look at him. 

He’s a good for nothing murderer who convinced a guy, who is too nice to know any better, to take him in and when he gets the chance to go back to his family and prove to them that he can still be better and regrets his actions, he runs away. He hides at Soos’ house and refuses to see them.

He cannot lose them again, so he leaves them first instead. 

Stan living with Soos would also mean the Pines might get the wrong idea.

Who is this creep? He can’t just kidnap Stan! Is Stan having Stockholm Syndrome? 

They already found out some of what happened in New Jersey and want to help. But they make it worse. And then Ford remembers the whole “Extra Stan 3$ or better offer” debacle and comes to the conclusion that Filbrick might’ve sold Stan to Soos and then Soos killed Filbrick to make sure Stan has no where to return to.

The accusations get worse and worse and Stan is cornered. With no way out, he explodes and lets more slip than he meant to, which throws him into a panic attack. 

Neither Dipper, nor Mabel, not even Ford can calm him down and it’s Soos who tells them to step back and give him some space. Then they catch a glimpse of Stan clinging to Soos like his life depends on it [something Stan will deny until his dying breath] and realise it might be for the best if Stan stays with Soos for now.

I'm all here for Stan being scared of other adults. Especially now that he’s not with Filbrick anymore and has time to calm down and process.

He would be terrified of Dipper and Maybel and not understand why. They are safe. He loves them. They never hurt him. Why is he sure they will?

On a slightly different note, Stan being afraid of Melody is as heartbreaking as it is funny to me. He’s a little scared kitten hissing at her and hiding, while she does absolutely nothing that could be considered threatening. But then she starts feeding him and her sandwiches are really delicious, so maybe she's not so bad.

I keep imagining Stan to be younger and younger and this. Poor boy is aging backwards in my mind.

[...Actually doing a whole thing where Stan gets deaged and is also mentally a small child but with all of his memories intact would be such sweet torture. One of my favourite tropes. It also would give us an older brother Ford who is actually older than Stan mentally. I’d read the shit out of it. ahhhh]

I absolutely love the scene you have in mind for Mabel. I’m SHAKING YOU. AHHHHH!

Yes YES. Realising that you might actually be part of the problem, it’s terrifying and extremely hard to come to terms with. You didn‘t want to be the bad guy. Your intentions were all good. This isn’t fair! You didn’t mean to! 

Stan & Ford

Stan and Ford's whole relationship is just this song on repeat. Simply switch the piano out for a ship and we’re good.

From the outside Stan looks fine at first. He’s making other friends in Soos and Missy and avoids Ford. It just proves to Ford what he always knew. Stan would’ve been better off without his freak of a brother holding him back. Maybe Stan not visiting him wasn’t because of Filbrick after all.  

Okay but honestly, I feel so bad for Ford. He just wanted to have some space, friends and things for himself and in the process failed to see how much Stan was hurting, especially considering they both got bad advice from their trusted adults. Suddenly, he lost his best friend. However by the time Ford realised it, Stan had started to come up with excuses not to visit and Ford had no guideline to deal with that, so he resorted back to what he’s been told by the adults in his life. And here we are.

The thing is, the only way for Stan to open up to Mabel and Dipper is if he first fixes things with Ford.

What I need is for Ford, Mabel and Dipper to fall apart over their inability to make things right with Stan. It gets bad. They’re not talking and blaming each other. Ford eventually spends as much time as possible away from the house.

And where better to spend his time than his secret hiding spot. A small cave by the late. It might not be so secret anymore though as he keeps finding evidence that someone else has been coming here as well recently.

One day, after another fight over what to do about Stan, he finds someone at his secret cave.

It’s Stanley. Of course Stanley is the one who has been coming here as well. Ford should've known. It’s such a them thing to do. Or at least it used to be. 

Stanley has been crying. When he notices Ford he jumps up and moves to leave but then their eyes meet for the first time in three years and Stan’s whole demeanor shifts. 

Why is Ford crying? Who hurt him? Who does Stan need to beat up?

Ford starts sobbing and Stan is at loss as to what to do. 

Ford asks him to stay just in case the bullies come back and his brother hesitantly agrees.

They don’t talk. Ford is too scared to break the silence. Everytime he attempted to talk before, Stan would block him out or escape. Stan doesn’t seem to be in a mood for it either. He’s too tense and twitchy, but he stays until the sun begins to set and tells Ford he has to go or Soos will be worried. 

They walk back together and when the path splits Ford thanks Stanley for keeping him company.

Stan hesitates. 

“Is - is everything alright at home?”

Ford smiles.

“Yes, don’t worry about it, Stanley. Just some bullies from school.”

They go their separate ways. There is no goodbye, no see you later, but the next day both boys meet up again at the lake.

It’s a slow and quiet thing, getting to know each other. They both changed, became different people and both are not yet ready to address what happened to them.

Instead, almost subconsciously, they start collecting wood and other tools and bring them to their base. They don’t discuss what they’re doing, but when Ford starts drawing up blueprints Stan is there ith him making his own suggestions and adjustments. 

The boat they’re trying to build looks nothing like the one they found back in Jersey. And maybe that’s for the best. The old boat’s keel had already been cracked when they started the repairs. The Stan-o-War I was never destined to last.

They don’t know if the new boat will be able to sail either, or if it will leave them drowning at sea, but they give it their best shot.

Over the next weeks, months, their boat starts to take shape. They talk more and they fight, and it hurts and some days they refuse to even look at each other,  but they still keep working on their boat, until one day they realise it's ready to set sail.

(They had to postpone the sailing for another day. They couldn’t stop crying. But that's okay, it’s a secret they keep to themselves.)

This all happened at their little hidden spot by the lake. No one else knows. Not their friends, not the adults. 

Grunkle Dipper and Grauntie Mabel have no idea what’s going on with Ford, just that he is leaving the house much more frequently and longer than usual. They decide to keep their fighting to a minimum and try to apologize to Ford. He’s been struggling much more than them. They were…really selfish.

Meanwhile Stan wants to believe Ford when he tells him that Dipper and Mabel love him and want to apologize. 

Ford slaps him over the head when Stan suggests that there is nothing to apologize for. It’s all his fault. Another slap.

Ouch, ouch, okay geez. Fine. Stan promised to trust Ford so he will do that. He is…just not quite ready to face them yet. As himself that is.

What I’m saying is, time for a twin switch! 😂

Ford makes it a point to only wear gloves at home, which worries Dipper and Mabel to no end, but nothing they do will persuade him to stop. 

As soon as that very important plot hole has been solved, they do the switch. At first only for a couple of minutes, then longer. Fiddleford was kind enough to build them some spy gear so Ford can listen in and talk to Stan just in case things go south. 

It works. Much better than expected. Stan gets used to his Grauntie and Grunkle again and starts seeing their past interactions in a different light. 

Mabel and Dipper talk to “Ford” about how much they love Stan, how much they messed up, how sorry they are. And they chastise “Ford” when Stan offhandedly mentions that it was all Stan's fault to begin with.

Through all their talks and time spent together Stan somehow manages to fix what was broken between Mabel and Dipper and gets to learn more about their story and how it affected his own. And with understanding comes forgiveness.

One day, months later Mabel and Dipper come down for breakfast and see double.

“Could you pass me the maple syrup, Stan?”

“Why yes, Stan. Here you go”

Stan & Miss Gleefull

Just them hanging out and Missy just being really happy that Stan isn’t bothered by her need to clean every time she’s stressed or nervous. It’s the only way she knows how to cope. If she's cleaning she’s doing something useful. And if she's useful, there is no reason to shout at her. She can simply be ignored. 

Just keep cleaning. Just keep cleaning. 

Stanley doesn’t mind her quirks and skittish nature. He doesn’t make fun of her when they're outside and she pulls out a hand brush to clean the pavement because a loud noise startled her.

Instead, he steals some gloves for her to make sure she won't injure her hands on the sharp stones.

Stan is really sweet. She wishes she could do something for him as well, but there is no much use for her besides cleaning. So all she can do is listen when he finally talks about himself and everything that happened with his father.

She already knew, of course, that they were the same. His story changed nothing. Stan was still the same. He was still her friend, even if he worried she would leave him after his confession.

Missy just hums, offers to clean his hands and spends the rest of the afternoon doing just that.

They are both a bit strange and broken. But at least they have each other now. 

Stan & Wendy 

As for Wendy, same answer as with Soos XD

Have no idea what Wendy’s usual role in relativity falls is

I don’t care, don't tell me

Wendy is Wendy so in my mind she's at most a couple of years older than Stan. Still a teenager though

I kind of want her to be stressed out and miserable that she's once again forced to go to spend her summer at logging camp unless she finds a job by the end of the month.

And to make things worse the empty house she usually crashed at when she needed some space for herself is occupied, because the owner decided to return far earlier than usual and for some reason that one nerd from her school moved in as well?

I can’t think of anything specific right now, sorry. But I need Stan to offer her a job. Both Wendy and Soos are his people. His little found family, that Stan already had in canon before the twins arrived. 

We all know everyone's 2nd or 3rd favourite episode where Stan teaches her how to steal, yeah?. 

Of course we can switch it around and have Wendy be a cool aunt who teaches Stan how to steal and all that but meh. A tiny Stan, teaching her his ways would be much more fun to me. 

I imagine Stan to be very well versed in stealing, considering how often Filbrick kicked him out for a night or two and he had to get himself food and supplies by other means. And no way he ever bought Stan any new clothes or other necessities. So stealing it was. Fun stuff.

And to close this mess of an answer off, have a quote from a certain other show about two brothers that I shamefully obsess over every now and then:

Kids ain't supposed to be grateful. They're supposed to eat your food and break your heart. 

Nothing to add. That one is just here for the vibes.

[asfateentertwines]

Look I know we’re not getting shit with the episode count now a days but obsessed with flashbacks to the people the ghosts loved in life. Like let them haunt the narrative PLEASE

Janet whose father spirals, always thinking of how he could have saved her if he forced her to stop. Getting worse and worse, doubling down on his beliefs even as he crumbles. Her brother, forced into the role she dreamed of. Knowing that every step he takes leaves her bloody footprints behind him. How she feels so forgettable but her shadow has been at every one of her family’s shoulder for decades. Her father dying at the hand of incompetence and feeling her fingers dig into his flesh knowing she would have been great. That his faith in a twisted falsity won’t forgive him. The eyes in the fire burn their skin and scorch their pride.

Rhonda who so clearly left love behind. Her best friend seeing her in every blur in her peripheral. How the lyrics turn acidic in her mouth, how she hears a snort and “seriously, cherry pop?” every time but her voice is so, so hoarse. How the gravel in her own burns like hands on her own skin. Rhonda who stuck her classmates to the core. It had to be her fault, had to be, or else it could be them. Or it could be theirs. Rhonda who is swept away but holds an iron grip on their shoulders. Who watches over every failure with the surety that she would have been better. Her parents, crushed under the loss of the only good thing they ever did. Marjorie’s voice lingers and generations feel her fingers over their throat; a lost mystery that drags them forward.

Wally being the fragility of their own lives. Untouchable and above it all, dying in an instant with a broken neck and the promises he was made. The future they were so sure he had, the way he could have made it. But no one knew him. Every story is empty, every memory wrong, he’s forgotten even with a thousand retellings and a blaring stadium named after him. His mother standing in the moment he had. Lost in a split second loop even as decades move past her. How he moves on before they do, haunting because of what they lost in him and no one remembering what he lost for himself. A life lived and mourned for others.

Charley who was swept under the rug. Who no one wants to think of. Who makes them consider their cruelty, they humanity. Who died surrounded by people, knowing they coaxed him into death with kicks and laughs. How an accidental death with no murderer is still a trial of human cruelty. Emilio, aching for years at his own naivety, trying to be better, to make it better for the next Charley. Except Charley is always there (actually this time) and he still can’t hold on. Moving on and feeling every breath stolen from someone else’s lungs. How one boy meant nothing and said so much about people who never saw him. His parents, asked the question of would they rather a dead or gay son but knowing there was never a choice cause they were one and the same and maybe that’s their fault. Emilio holding his husband, seeing baby Charlie on the monitor, knowing a part of him will never not be 17.

Idk if any of this made sense but just give me the people left behind, let them have an impact. I’m losing my mind

[star-41306]

Maybe unpopular opinion but I DONT want Mike or Will to say they love each other, because every time a romantic couple does that, it's when they're having PROBLEMS.

S2 stancy. They say they love each other after a small argument, then Nancy says "I do!!" After Murry confronts her about not loving him, as a DEFENSE.

S3 Mileven. Mike only says he loves El (while she's not in the room, might I add) after they break up, and everyone has been arguing about Mike not caring about what El actually wants. He says it to DEFEND his actions.

"I love you!"(x7) Mike only says it DAYS AFTER El expresses that's something she wants. He doesn't get to say it via his on volition either. He is pushed by Will and pushed by the fact that El is literally dying. It is to DEFEND El against Vecna and his own actions

"That's why I love him" Even when Johnathan and Nancy say they love each other to their friends in S4, they are growing distant. They only say it to DEFEND their relationship. It is not an actual representation of how they care for one another.

In Stranger Things, actions always speak louder than words.

"Only love makes you that crazy" Johnathan protecting Nancy's reputation and keeping Wills name out of Steve's mouth. Neither of them say the words "I love you" to one another

"Wine makes me crazy" Bob trying to integrate into the Byers family, and help Joyce feel more comfortable by leaving a place with so many bad memories

"Crazy together" Comforting each other through a shared understanding of their individual trauma

And other examples of showing not telling

"Just talk to me. I'm here" Lucas begging Max to lean on him, showing her she doesn't have to go through her pain alone

"I feel like I lost you or something" Mike reconciling with Will, showing he's sorry and explaining why he acted the way he did

"I did lose you" Joyce after traveling and fighting to find Hopper even when there's a chance it's all a lie

Stranger Things does not say "I love you". It will always show it.

[littlxpxtal]

I wish I never met you

TYRANTS || STORY MASTERLIST

PAIRING: rafe cameron x fem!reader

WARNINGS: MDNI 18+ Content, swearing, sexual content, drug and alcohol use, violence

WORD COUNT: 2.5k

Mixing liquor and pot

Heard your brain cells can rot

If my memory was shot

I would like that a lot

I wish I could forget you

May

It was all a blur. The whole day. Zipping up my gown, putting the bobby-pins in my hair to situate the cap on my head.

I wish I could say graduation was the best day of my life, but I barely remember any of it. My name rumbled through the field, my legs moving without a thought. I moved my lips up on my face for the picture, shook hands with faculty that I had never seen or spoken to in my entire life.

The dinner with my parents was bland. They went on and on about college, asking me questions about what I decided to study. I don’t even remember the answer I gave.

I didn’t come to reality until the third time my phone rang while I laid on the edge of my bed, head hanging off the edge with my eye closed, a random record playing on my turntable was at the end and a soft humming noise filled the room.

I decided to finally check who it was, and to no surprise it was Sabrina.

“Hi” I mumbled into the phone, flipping over onto my stomach, one hand barely holding up the phone while the other dangled towards the ground.

”You done with family shit yet?”

”yes.” I answered simply, closing my eyes.

“Well I know you’re out feeling the best but, I really think you should come with me tonight.”

I groaned into my sheets.

“Sab” I whispered, my voice shaking.

“You can’t let this take over your life, y/n. We only graduate high school once.”

her positivity sickened me. I knew she was right. I didnt want her to be.

“Sab its the same shit we’ve been doing all year, what is different about tonight?”

“Well there’s no risk of expulsion”

”hah” it was her turn to groan in response.

“Y/N, im spending the whole summer abroad and I leave next week. I seriously need you to do this for me.”

”you cant pull that shit on me Sabrina its not fair.”

”but its true, y/n. You’re my best friends and I need you. You were a fucking zombie today. Snap out of it.”

there was a period of silence. I sat up in my bed and turned the lamp on.

“Well, what should I wear?” I can tell she tried to hide it, but I could hear her squeal on the other line.

“Cute top and a skirt.”

”I can make that work”

”fuck YA THERE SHE IS” she cheers into the phone. “I’ll pick you up in 15.”

We arrived to see the beach was already filled up, party in full swing. Sabrina gave me a reassuring look before we walked towards them.

”Let’s get some drinks. You deserve one” she says to me. I nod my head, following her lead.

We make our way over to the nearest keg, taking one of the many cups the boys were passing out.

“Grab me two” I whisper in her ear. She smiles wide and winks.

”That’s what im talking about.”

I chugged the first cup,passing it back to the kid who was pouring them out, he filled it back up and we walked with our cups to the dance floor.

“You gonna double fist all night?” Sabrina asks over the music.

”that’s the plan” I mumble back. The speakers are booming a new Metro Boomin song, and we make our way to the group of girls that are dancing.

I lose track of time, and snap back into reality when I notice Sabrina furiously texting on her phone.

“What’s up?” I ask. She hesitantly looks up, and locks her phone, sliding it back into her purse.

“Nothing, just, Toppers here. But, he’s with … his friends. So im just gonna stay here for a bit.” She awkwardly looks away, makes eye contact, then looks away.

“Sab, its okay, I would be an idiot to think he wouldn’t be here, especially with your boyfriend. Go say hi.” I give her shoulder a nudge and she shakes her head.

“No, im here with you.”

”im serious Sab.”

”just one more song. Who knows how long he’ll keep me on his arm if I go now.”

”you know I can fend for myself.” Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift starts playing on the speakers and Sabrina jumps up and down.

”I know, but I LOVE this song”

She starts leading us to the middle of the circle, and we sing to each other, as if we were the only two people on the beach. By the time the song is over, were doubled over laughing,our drinks spilt all over the sand.

“Im gonna go get another drink, you go say hi to topper okay?” She frowns and reaches for my hand.

”Fine, but I’ll be right back okay?” I roll my eyes.

”I told you I’ll be fine. Just go okay?” She smiles and skips away. I watch her walk over to the other side of the crowd, where a group of guys are standing, including Topper, Kelce, and, well of course, Rafe.

I notice everyone’s in conversation, expect for him. He’s just sipping from his cup, staring out into the sea.

I catch myself staring for too long, and realize i'm still in the middle of the dance circle, with two empty cups. I look around for the nearest keg and walk slowly over.

I made empty conversation with the girls standing around the keg while waiting in line, checking my phone every so often. The DJ continues to play songs I like, including pursuit of happiness, collard greens, Roll in Peace and more.

I find myself tipsy, dancing by myself in the sea of people. By the time I finally looked at my phone again, it had been an hour and I had a text from Sabrina.

were fuckin in my car really quick lol I’ll be right back.

that was from 5 minutes ago, so I probably wouldn’t see her for at least another half an hour.

I was tired of dancing, so I started walking towards the edge of the party, closer to the water.

The temperature outside was perfect. There was a slight breeze, not enough for me to put my hair up, but enough to get a whiff of the sea.

I pulled my phone out to take a picture of the water and the moon, before I heard a shout.

“Fucking BITCH”

I could recognize that voice anywhere. I whip my head to the right and see Rafe and another figure a few yards away.

everything in my mind told me not to go. But my heart was controlling my feet. I walked closer, and realized the other person was Noah.

“You ruined fucking EVERYTHING” Rafe growled.

“I didnt do shit expect tell her the truth man. She’s a dirty fucking shut,all you did was make sure I knew.”

I tensed up, and made eye contact with Noah. He smirked and looked back at rafe.

“Perfect timing, y/n, we were just talking about you!” Noah exclaimed, splashing the liquid in his cup in the air.

Rae whips his head back and stares deep into my eyes.

“Y/n,” he whispers. My body is still tense.

“Wh-whats going on” I ask

”your boyfriend - sorry I mean .. your confusing complicated situation ship over here is harassing me.”

rafe keeps his eyes on me. I cant read his expression, he looks empty.

“Maybe, if you just stayed in your place on the cut, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.” Noah shouts at me.

I open my mouth to respond, but nothing comes out.

I decide its just best if I leave. I start to walk away and hear Noah chuckling.

“This is all YOUR fault” Rafe yells, lunging at Noah. Noah swings back in defense, and I stop in my tracks.

“STOP” a scream escapes my lips and I run over. Rafe is knocked to the ground scrambling to get back on his feet.Noah kicks him back down, and I hear a sharp click, and notice something in Noah’s hand. The smile on his face is terrifying, and as I get closer I realize its a switchblade.

“My god Noah put that thing away.” I whisper.

“If rafe wants to fight, we can fucking fight.”

He points the blade down at rafe who is still struggling to stand.

“Noah, seriously,” I walk towards him and his eyes flicker towards me, down at rafe and back at me. He points the blade up at me, and I start to shake.

“You’re insane” I whisper, taking a step back.

While he’s distracted, Rafe takes the opportunity to pull Noah’s leg, knocking him to the ground. The blade falls from his grip into the sand, and I lunge to get it. He reaches after it too, our bodies colliding. Rafe pulls him away from me while I grab the knife, and he pins Noah down, punching him straight in the face.

“That’s ENOUGH” I shout at the two of them. They both freeze and look up at me. The knife is dangling from my hand pointed down.

“Noah get the fuck out of here. And don’t EVER pull this shit again. You’re just embarrassing yourself.” He scrambles to his feet, patting the sand off his pants.

“Give me my knife back y/n” he commands. I shake my head.

”I’ll give it to you when you’re sober.”

he looks over at rafe. Something in his face must’ve scared him, because he makes a beeline back to the party.

I walk slowly towards rafe and pass him the knife. He safely closes it and stuffs it in his pocket.

“What’s wrong with you?”

He huffs, brushing sand off himself. He turns to look at the water, and his shoulders slump.

”I wish I knew” he whispered. After a brief moment of silence he turns to me, with sadness in his eyes this time.

“Look, y/n, im really-“

”I don’t want to fucking hear it okay? How many times are you going to put me through this. Like seriously?”

His jaw twitched and he looked down, running a hand over his hair.

“It hurts. It hurts so fucking much to see you hurt” he finally says.

“Then why do you keep hurting me?”

the sound of the waves and music behind us fills the silence.

“I don’t mean to. I just keep fucking up.”

I sigh, unsure of what to say. He takes a step towards me, I flinch slightly, which he notices, and makes him sigh.

“Sometimes I cant tell” I start to say. He looks up at me and takes another step forward.

“Sometimes I cant tell if you like me or hate me” I whisper the last part.

“Neither” his voice cracks slightly, and he looks up at the moon.

“I don’t hate you. I could never hate you, y/n. And I don’t, I don’t just like you, okay? I don’t just like you I fucking-“ he stops himself, his voice getting hoarse. “I fucking love you okay? And its driving me insane.”

I furrow my eyebrows and let out an involuntary laugh.

”the fuck are you talking about Cameron?”

he looks back at me, his face hard and serious.

“I mean, im fucking obsessed with you. I can never get you up of my head, even if I wanted to, I couldn’t. You’re always just THERE. All the fucking songs you’ve showed me, all my favorite shows and movies. God even my favorite color. Its just you, and its always been you. It’s fucking terrifying, did you know that?”

”I-I-“ I stammer. He takes a step closer.

“I think about you when is wake up, when I eat breakfast, when I work out, when I do homework, when im smoking, when im drinking, when im high out of my fucking mind, when im sober, when im driving around town. All I see is you. You’re fucking everywhere and I cant get you out of my head.”

”it sounds like you don’t want me there.”

”that’s the problem is I DO. I want you there, I want you with me. And I finally fucking had you, and I just-“ his voice breaks again and he closes his eyes.

“Just don’t know how to keep you.”

”rafe” I whisper, walking towards him to close the distance. “Rafe, why didnt you tell me?”

”god y/n, you don’t even know how hard it is. Im dealing with all this shit in my head, and I wanted to save you from it but you made your way deeper into my life than ever before, and I couldn’t hide you from how fucked up I am. I tied you into this mess, and it’s not good for you.”

”why did you tell Noah that lie about me and JJ?”

”I told him because he was bragging to everyone about taking you out. I was pissed that someone else was going to take you. I was jealous. I didnt think it was going to hurt you the way it did.”

”why didnt you just tell me before he even asked me out. We were seeing each other-“ he cuts me off

”because y/n, its easier for me to do shit like that than it is to express my feelings okay? I cant do this love shit easy alright? It doesn’t come naturally like it does some people. It’s fucking terrifying”

his breathing is ragged, and he starts to clutch his chest.

“It gives me these chest pains like I cant fucking breathe.”

he huffs out, trying to catch his breath. I notice his face is flustered.

”cmon, lets sit” I grabs his hand and pull him down onto the sand,

“its okay just breathe” his pants slow down, and I wrap my arm around his shoulders.

“It’s okay” I whisper again. He leans his head on my chest, and I hear a sob escape his mouth.

“Im so fucking sorry. Im so fucking sorry” he repeats this over and over a few times before going quiet.

”I know you are.” I finally say.

We sit in silence for about 5 minutes before its interrupted.

”Y/N! There you are-“ Sabrina cuts herself off when she sees us, Topper trailing behind her.

“I knew it” I heard him whisper to her.

”well, did you guys kiss and make up” topper slurs. She shoves his chest, letting out a giggle and a hiccup.

“You guys have been boning for hours now”i shoot back at them. Topper lets out a nervous laugh and Sabrina hides her face.

“Well, are you guys going to come join us or?” She asks. Rafe sits up and looks at me

“Can we start over?”

I smile at him, stand up and reach out my hand.

“Rafe?” I whisper, he takes my hand and stands up, his figure looming over me.

“Yes, pretty girl?”

”i Love you too.”

Previous Chapter | Instagram AU

Tags: @ltristessedureratoujours @davinashifts333 @tomholland792

[loveharlow]

SEVEN [POGUELANDIA] - FALLING DOWN

PAIRING ‧₊˚ JJ Maybank x Fem!Reader

SYNOPSIS‧₊˚[2.9k] Three weeks on Poguelandia and it seems things are looking up just a something starts to come down...

WARNING(S)‧₊˚ swearing, mentions of injuries, graphic depictions of natural disaster(s),

NOW PLAYING‧₊˚

A/N‧₊˚ heyyyyy! THIS IS THE LAST POGUELANDIA CHAPTER AND THANK GOD (i loved writing this but i'm more excited for season 3, it's so much dramaaa)

˗ˏˋ series masterlist ˎˊ˗

“HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE BACK IN THE WATER?” JJ asked as the two of you waded in the middle of the ocean, floating on large pieces of wood. It was early in the afternoon, the sun just reaching its peak. 

“Feels good…” You nodded, admiring the crystal waters beneath you for the first time in weeks. “Great, actually.”

“That’s great, baby.” The blonde smiled, eyes stuck on your glowing figure in front of him. “Hey,” He called in an attempt to gain your full attention. You turned to look at him, eyes locking with his own. “Look, I don’t wanna kill the mood but…I think we should talk.”

You swallowed, tucking a strand of hair behind your hair. “...About?”

“...Kiara.” The boy dragged.

You couldn’t stop your immediate sigh. “I thought we already did.” You snapped slightly — it’d been a week since one of your best friends took it upon herself to risk your relationship to clear her conscience. 

“You’re right…” JJ nodded, paddling closer to you in the water. “But I had some time to think. And I owe her an apology…and so do you.”

You nearly choked on your own words at his statement. “An apology?” You spewed incredulously. “For what? If anything she owes us an apology.”

“Baby, be reasonable about this-”

“I am.”

“You’re not.” He finalized, head dipping down as he fixed a stern look your way. “Look, I love you and it’s because I love you that I gotta tell you — you’re being mean, princess.”

“Mean?-”

“Yes. Mean.” He asserted. “Do you want me to be real with you?” The Maybank boy asked rhetorically, speaking before giving you the proper capacity to answer even if you intended to. “You’re being really harsh about this whole thing. Kiara has been your friend, your closest friend, longer than any of us. You two have literally spent your entire lives together. And correct me if I’m wrong, but she’s been there for you through a lot and kept a lot of secrets to protect you. I get this is weird for you, but think about how hard this is for her. She may not have made the best choices, I’ll admit, but neither have you and neither have I, but you know and I know and all of us know that Kiara would sooner die than do anything to intentionally hurt you or any of us. She’s dealin’ with some seriously complicated shit, baby. And we’re her friends. We’re not supposed to make it worse. You gotta realize she wasn’t out to hurt you. The same way I wasn’t out to hurt you when I lied about what happened in Charleston. The same way you didn’t mean to hurt her.”

You sat in the ambient silence for a moment, contemplating the boy's words. JJ was right, and if he was the one mediating, then there was clearly a problem. You weren’t completely blindsighted — you knew this whole thing hadn’t been easy for yourself or Kie. But you admitted to yourself, you’d been being just as inconsiderate as she was. If not, more so.

“I already talked with her earlier,” JJ continued, eyes glued to your own that were glossing over the more your thoughts raced in your mind. “I apologized for reacting the way I did and we’re okay. I’m not going to do anything on your behalf. All I’m doin’ right now is giving you a push, alright? Kiara is more your family than anyone here. I get it, shit is awkward but you don’t want to lose her. And definitely not like this. I know you don’t. I know you.” He explained, taking one of your hands in his. “Each other is all we’ve got. So, don’t push away one of the only people you have left. Go talk to her.”

“...NEED SOME HELP WITH THAT?” You asked, creeping up behind the brown-haired girl as she stood on her tippy-toes, reaching for the low-hanging fruit on a tree.

She quickly glanced over her shoulder, startled by the unexpected voice before registering just exactly who was offering help and turning away, refocusing on the fruit swinging in front of her as she strained to get it. “No thanks.” She muttered.

You stood awkwardly behind her, rocking back and forth on your feet. Your skin was sticky and slightly cool from the sea water, small grains of sand sticking to your frame. A few moments of silence passed, watching the girl struggle to get the mango taunting her before you decided to try and spark a conversation once more.

“I, uh, I talked to JJ.”

“Well, he’s your boyfriend... I’d expect you to.” She shrugged, finally grasping the fruit with the tips of her fingers and snatching it down with an exasperated sigh and returning flat on her feet, turning on her heels to face you. She drew her lips into a thin line, raising her eyebrows. “Did you need something or…?”

You simply sighed, running a hand through the front of your hair. "I came over here to apologize.”

To your surprise, the girl scoffed before rolling her eyes and walking past you to take a seat on a large log. Your eyes followed her as she sat down, a look of confusion etched on your features. “What?”

“Nothing.” Kiara shrugged, mindlessly fiddling with the fruit in her hands as she avoided eye contact with you. “Did JJ put you up to this? ‘Cause I just find it funny that he apologized this morning and suddenly you’re so eager to patch things up.”

“He didn’t put me up to anything.” You defended. “He suggested it, yeah, but I can make my own decisions-”

“So, he did.” She scoffed. “That’s-”

“Okay, I’ll admit I wasn’t jumping up this morning with the intention of apologizing to you. But JJ helped me see some things that I clearly wasn’t seeing before.” You started, taking a slow and cautious seat next to the girl as she made a point to not look at you. “So, do you want to talk to me or do you want to ignore each other forever?”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Y/N…” Kie sighed, dropping her head as a small breeze drove by. “You said everything I needed to know the night I told you how I felt. And you’ve made it abundantly clear that every since that night, all I’ve done is make your life worse.”

“That’s not true-” You tried.

“But that’s how I feel.” Kiara cut in, finally turning to look at you. “That’s how you’ve been making me feel.” She told you, voice wavering as her eyes softened in the slightest ways. “And I mean, I keep thinking to myself…can I really blame you?” She spoke aloud. “I mean, ever since our freshman year, it’s like everything I do just drags you down. If I hadn’t introduced you to my friend group, you wouldn’t have gotten tangled up with Rafe. If I didn’t kiss JJ in Charleston, maybe our friendship would’ve been more salvageable. Maybe me telling you how I felt would’ve gone differently. Better…”

You couldn’t help but twist your face in something between sadness and utter confusion. “Kie…” You started, voice soft. “I am…so sorry, if I made you feel like you being in my life has made it worse.”

“...Hasn’t it?” She added, eyes welling with tears slowly.

You shook your head quickly, angling your body more towards hers and placing a hand on her shoulder without thought. “Kiara, you have literally been my guardian angel. You and your family were there for me when my dad died, when I moved to Figure Eight you made sure I had friends and didn’t feel like an outcast because you knew what it was like. My situation with Rafe wasn’t at all on you.” You assured her, watching the girl focus her sights on her shoes. “And when he did what he did, you didn’t tell anyone because I asked you not to. It didn’t matter that you thought I should, you respected my wishes. You were ready to fight Rafe when he drugged me and not to mention, you and your parents have been kind enough to give me and Marley a place to stay. From the moment I was born, you made sure I always had a person. And I just threw seventeen years of friendship back in your face.” You listed, your own eyes tearing up now. “...I don’t know why I’ve been acting like you feeling what you feel for me is the end of the world. I can’t excuse it or take back anything I said. But I am genuinely so sorry, for everything. I think…it’s just been so many changes and losses at once for all of us that it just took me by surprise to the point where I took all of my frustrations out on the wrong person. And you didn’t deserve that.”

Kiara sniffled at your words, quickly wiping a stray tear. “...I just, I’ve been trying to do the right thing. I thought, with everything going on, that it’d be better to just get that one thing off of my chest.” She said, voice shaking. “It’d been crushing me for so long. It was like walking around with a boulder on my chest. Everytime I’d see you or you and him together, I just couldn’t take it. I thought saying it and getting it out into the open, or at least out to you, would somehow relieve the guilt that I was feeling. But I shouldn’t have. I was being selfish-”

“No, you weren’t.” You shook your head, letting a stray tear fall. “I should’ve told JJ when it happened. I was so mad at him for what happened in Charleston and I turned around and did the exact same thing. And I shouldn’t have put that pressure on you, either. You had a right to tell him. And what I said to you wasn't okay. All I’ve done since you told me about your feelings is make you feel worse.”

“All I’ve done since I realized my feelings is hurt you.” She let out a watery chuckle. “So, I guess we’re even.” She threw out with a bittersweet smile, placing her hand on top of yours that hadn’t left her shoulder. “Y/N…I don’t know how we’re going to work around this but…I can try.”

“Well, for starters,” You began, letting your hand fall and throwing it out in the direction of JJ who was trying to start a fire. “I know it’s not easy with us practically rubbing it in your face…”

Kiara started shaking her head to the side, scrunching her face together. “No, no. No matter whether you guys make your relationship known or not doesn’t affect me. And even if it did, I’d never ask you to tone down your love for someone to make me feel better.” She immediately shut down your thoughts and turned fully to face you now. “Look, I will get over this. It’s not the end of the world. Maybe one day, we’ll look back on this whole thing and see how stupid it all was.” She said lightheartedly. “...But, seriously. I know it may not seem like it but it’s already gotten easier to see you guys together and talk to you again. So, really. I’ll be fine.” Kiara assured you.

You didn’t offer a verbal response immediately, just a quiet nod as you stared out at the clouds in front of you, hands gripping the log underneath you. “...And the others?” You remembered. “Did you tell them or…?”

Kiara took a deep breath and nodded, glancing over at the remaining group of your friends as they gathered food, rinsed their clothes in the ocean water, and set up for the night. “Yeah, I did…” She trailed off, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “They didn’t really…care? I didn’t expect them to freak out or anything, y’know, but they were so…’eh’ about it, the blank look on their faces was actually kind of funny.” Kiara smiled to herself as you chuckled at her words. “But they agreed — the situation isn’t an easy one. I did things, you did things, JJ did things, and it’s all just messed up. I even got a chance to talk to Cleo and get an actual feel for her. But we’re all each other has. And they said letting something like this ruin one of the longest friendships in the group would be ‘catastrophically stupid’, as Pope put it.” She added. “And I agree.”

“Yeah,” You started. “It would be. And I don’t know what I’d do without you.” You added with a small smile.

“Yeah, I don’t know what you’d do without me either.” The girl joked to which you playfully nudged her shoulder.

“Shut up.” You grumbled with a lopsided smile, throwing an arm over her shoulders and pulling her into a tight embrace, which she eagerly returned. “I’m really sorry.” You spoke into her shoulder.

“Me too.” She softly returned the sentiment when the sound of rapid footsteps bounding your way had the both of you pulling apart and turning towards the direction of the noise to find Sarah and Cleo running your way.

“No, don’t stop, we wanna join!” Sarah screamed, nearly tripping over her own feet as they dug into the sand. Once the pair of girls reached the both of you, they practically tackled the pair of you off of the log and into the sand, forming a messy group hug. “I love this! I love my girls!” Sarah squealed, voice muffled from the embrace.

The four of you fell into a fit of laughter, struggling to breathe under the mess of limbs until you abruptly startled away from one another when a bolt of thunder struck in the sky — a loud crack sound reverberating against your ear drums.

As you released one another and sat up to peer at the sky, you noticed that the once beaming sun was hidden behind an army of grey, stormy clouds, with an occasional spark of lightning behind them. Seconds later, small drops of water hit your skin, one by one — the sand underneath your feet turning from its typical tan color to a sodden shade of brown almost resemblant of brown sugar.

“Get away from the trees!” A voice shouted, all of you turning to your left to find Pope standing out in the open sand with JJ and John B, his hands cupped around his mouth. “Now!” He urged.

The four of you scrambled to your feet, the rain coming down harder by the second. You ran through the sand to reach the guys, shielding your face from the rain as it gained weight and the sand started to pick up with the wind.

“What the hell is goin’ on?!” Cleo asked, trying to move her hair from her face. Her voice was almost lost to the whipping winds that had seemingly risen from nowhere. The sky was now completely grey.

“The storm!” Pope communicated back to her, a hand over his eyes as his shirt whipped around his figure.

“I thought you said it wasn’t coming!” Sarah added, eyes squinted.

“I didn’t think it was! I thought it had passed over us last week!”

“Well, what’re we supposed to do?!” You asked, trying to ignore the roaring winds, quarter-sized raindrops hitting your skin.

“I-” Pope stuttered, quickly glancing at the island around him. “I don’t know! But we can’t stay out in the open like this! The tide’s gonna start rising and I don’t know how far past the shoreline it’s gonna go! And the trees aren’t safe from the lightning right now!”

“We got that, Pope!” John B retorted. “But we don’t have anywhere to go!”

“Nowhere?!” Kie asked like the statement was ridiculous. “Nobody found anything in the three weeks we’ve been here?!”

“Have you?!” John B shot back.

“Shut up!” JJ threw in, looking behind him at the rolling waves in the ocean before turning back to you all. “I know a place we can go!”

“What?!” You started. “Where?!”

“I don’t have time to explain!” He told you, now walking in your direction. “Just follow me!” He urged the rest of your friends, taking your hand in his and heading in the forest of trees. 

“Wait, JJ!” Pope protested, slowing in his steps but still following. “The trees aren’t safe!”

“Then we better run!” The blonde called over his shoulder before quickly sweeping you off of your feet and managing to swing you onto his back with some assistance from you. “We can make it! But we gotta move!”

As the seven of you disappeared into the forest, you looked behind you as JJ carried you to wherever he was leading the group. Your eyes were glued to the makeshift fire pit, the pile of leaves you’d been using as beds, and the fruit pile you all had been living off of for the past three weeks. 

Poguelandia was a dream but it was clear that this dream didn’t come without some nightmares. By the time this storm passed, you knew everything you all had built for the past few weeks would be gone with the wind once you returned. And you couldn’t help but wonder — would you and your friends restart or was it finally time to start finding ways back home?

[anamericangirl]

It happened again! Nother convo between me and a lib friend.

Me: I thought you didn't support the death penalty?

Friend: I don't! And I never well. Those are human beings in a correctional facility. The purpose of them being there is to help them transition back into society as a normal human being.

Me: As someone who studies criminal psychology I regret to inform you that the criminally insane do not magically become normal people while in prison.

Friend: That doesn't mean we shouldn't try. [This is my favorite quote in here because this friend says religion should be outlawed because if we can't see God he doesn't exist. So his logic of "Just because we've never seen it doesn't mean we shouldn't try" goes out the window when it's religion, but he's all for it when it's gender ideology, criminal correctional facilities or communism being a good form of government.]

Me: So can I ask you about all the memes you've been posting? [Context: He's been posting memes non stop about how that healthcare guy got shot and saying it's hilarious]

Friend: Dude there's a huge difference between someone who made a mistake and someone who deliberately fucked over millions of people with health care scams

Me: I really implore you to watch criminal psychology videos with me sometime. These are not people who made a mistake, these are people who take pleasure in murdering as many people as they can.

Friend: They can still be helped. CEOs can't be helped, they're too far gone.

Me: I literally just watched one about a woman who killed her pregnant daughter and then cut her open and ate the baby inside of her, and you think she can be helped but CEOs can't be?

Friend: Yes I do, she's still a human being.

Me: She's not, she's dead. She got the death penalty for that. It was in Texas.

Friend: And what problem did that solve?

Me: Well there's not a woman who killed her daughter and ate her unborn granddaughter in the world anymore, so she can't go on to do that again.

Friend: Yeah but that's one person. This CEO killed millions of people.

Me: It's two people, and I dunno about you but I really feel like when you literally murder someone you don't deserve the life you've been given anymore, no matter how many people you murder. If we're gonna weigh the severity of murder on a bell curve that's fucking retarded. We don't go "Yeah he killed 10 people but he doesn't lose his humanity card until he kills a lot closer to 6 million people." I feel like in both cases we should probably get rid of the murderer.

Friend: Well, you got your wish apparently since both are dead so what the hell are you complaining about?

Me: I'm not complaining, I'm trying to understand your logic. You're completely okay with someone getting shot to death because you claim they've killed millions of people, but then when someone kills 1-10 people and is in prison you fight for their human rights. I'm personally glad that in both cases they can't keep hurting people because I'm of the opinion that the death penalty for heinous criminals who are a danger to society is a good thing. My confusion starts with you being okay with one but not okay with the other. You're entirely inconsistent on who you're okay with being killed.

Friend: I'm completely consistent with who I'm okay with being killed. If they're nazis, billionaires, CEOs, maga, racist or antivaxxers they can get killed and I'll be happy.

Me: What's the bar for CEO? Because a small business owner is still a CEO. And when you say racist, do you mean specifically white racists who are racist against non-white or are you at least being consistent there and also hoping black and latino people who hate white people die too?

Friend: It's not racist to hate white people.

Me: Got it. And the CEO question?

Friend: CEO and billionaire are the same thing.

Me: They absolutely are not. The term "CEO" literally means "Whoever is in charge of a business or corporation." That means that a family owned business does in fact have a CEO, even if that business is only worth like $10,000.

Friend: That's not the definition of CEO, CEOs are billionaires in charge of companies like EA and Ubisoft. A small business owner is a small business owner.

Me: The guy who makes tiki torches is a small business owner, you want him killed?

Friend: He's a nazi.

Me: He's a nazi because the KKK bought his product?

Friend: Yep!

Me: It is shocking how easy it is for you to wish death upon someone. So you think the tiki torch guy should be shot?

Friend: Absolutely, yes.

Me: Let's change the subject, this is getting stupid. You still ride horses?

Friend: Yeah

Me: Fucking nazi.

Friend: [He sent a groggy anime girl emote]

Me: What? The KKK owns horses, haven't you seen Django Unchained?

Friend: I'm going to bed.

Me: By the way the tiki torch CEO is a left-winger who went on CNN to say he was appalled by the protesters using his torches.

Friend: Don't care.

Me: Still shoot him?

Friend: Yes. Good night.

Me: Aight.

I'm still reeling from "murderers can be helped but CEO's can't be because they're too far gone."

lol.

lmao even.

There's nothing wrong with being a CEO. It's not a crime. So wtf is he talking about they're too far gone and can't be helped? Like the problem with the United Healthcare CEO was that he was supposedly a murderer but I thought murderers could be helped???

Being in charge of a business isn't a bad thing omg. Sounds like your liberal friend, like most liberals, is just jealous some people make more money than he does.

Consistency would kill these people.