#this one was so creative it took me a sec-

[miintsprigz]

Mercs x GN! reader who drew them (ALL NINE!)

This goes out to everyone, not just my artists.

But yes, all my fic material is extremely self-serving.

Big thank you to a dear friend of mine for helping me with mercs like Pyro, Engie, Sniper, and Medic when I got stuck.

VERY LONG POST INCOMING

Scout

• Well, he IS an artist himself, that’s probably how the two of you first started talking.

• Ran past one day, only to immediately throw it in reverse and go “hey whoa whoa whoa when were you gonna tell me you could draw?!”

•Naturally…it was only a matter of time.

•He was always so encouraging about your stuff, so…after working up the guts, you showed him.

• “Yo wait a sec…you drew me??? I…” For once in his life, he’s at a loss for words. He’s never been drawn—not even a self-portrait. For as cocky as he seems…well…

•He just…stares for a second. Marveling. Is that…really what I look like?

• “Do you like it?” “Abso-friggin-lutely, (Y/N)!!! You kiddin’? I don’t even look that beautiful in real life! And ya know, that’s sayin’ somethin!”

•You laugh, and he pulls you in so fast to hug you that you weren’t even ready. “But seriously…thank you. I’ve uh…I’ve never been drawn before. You did amazing. …you know I gotta draw you now, right?”

•And he does. He’s a complete perfectionist about it—he feels like he can’t replicate you, you’re one of a kind. (He actually does very well! But he’s so shy showing it to you…d’aww.)

Pyro

•Pyro was more of a doodler than anything. They loved color. And of course, you could resonate with that.

•Sometimes you’d draw designs and let them color it in. They giggled all the while…they just adored how creative you were.

•Being the most secretive about their appearance, they’re hard to nail down…even for you. Pyro is most themself in their full gear. You, out of everyone, know that best.

•So you took a…different approach. Abstraction.

•Their hands, the ones that so often seemed to be magnetically drawn to you.

•Their back, the strong shoulders when they just felt content to sit in the quiet with you.

•The brief glimpses you’d caught of their face—split second instances in shadows—those were easy, yet challenging. Their brief sightings made them easy to be abstract about, and yet, it made them harder to actually nail down.

•Conjuring a rather fittingly smoky composition, it had a dreamlike feel to it. Pure Pyro.

•You were only a bit hesitant to show them, but when they did see…they surprised you a bit.

•You could see them straighten up a bit…surprised. They craned their neck a bit, looking closer, gently curling their fingers over yours to hold the snapshot-like portraits with you.

• “Hmmm…” There was a sort of…tranquility to them. So unlike your little sparky fella.

• “Do you like them?” Immediately, the edge of their mask bumped against your forehead—your own personal way of kissing. That was all the answer you needed.

•They couldn’t verbalize it, but…seeing beauty in images of themself. The same beauty they saw all around them…it made them see themself in a way they never had before.

•And of course, it made them fall even deeper in love with you, the one who cared for them so much that they took the time to look so deeply.

Heavy

•Heavy is a very intelligent man, but he’s never had much gift for creative work. Even his insults were kind of just the same thing repeated, when the other mercs made it an art form.

•So he couldn’t help but be enraptured by your artistic endeavors and how much work you put into them.

•He loved to see you covered in your medium of choice, your passion for it. Made him lovesick. How lovely you were doing what you loved.

•If he could paint, he would have wanted to paint that. So he could look at it forever.

•So of course, imagine his delight when you decided to draw him!

• That roaring laugh you so enjoyed boomed immediately, just elated.

•“Ohhhh…look at that! You captured me perfectly! Beautiful!” You couldn’t help but beam with pride.

•“Can Heavy keep this?” “Of course you can, hon.” This warranted a sudden barrage of kisses to your face, which cracked you up of course.

•“Very happy to have such talented artist as yourself to love. But to me? You are most beautiful. In all the world.” Despite being more eloquent in his native language, Heavy could still get you to turn red. “Oh gosh…” “Is true!”

Demoman

•Tavish had always been a pretty sentimental fellow. He really did enjoy artwork, but didn’t talk about it much.

•Once he discovered that you were an artist, he was over the moon. Finally, he felt, he could talk to someone about art without them possibly poking fun.

•He’d never go in your sketchbook unless you allowed him to, but he always looked with such admiration in his eyes. “That’s bloody brilliant. So long as ya luv it, never stop doin’ this. Cuz I’ll never stop lookin.”

•One day, you told him you had a surprise for it. “I dunno if I like surprises…” “Oh trust me, Demo,” you chirped, “I think you’ll like this one.”

•As you held up the finished product, his mouth went agape. Almost instantly, he began to smile.

•“Well aren’t you just the sweetest!! That’s me there???” “Yes, love. I uh, I hope that you like it.” His gaze shifted over to you, and you could see his eye had grown somewhat misty.

•Demo was at a loss for words. He had never thought of himself as particularly good-looking, certainly not good enough to be drawn. And yet. You had drawn him. Drawn him very well. And he liked how he looked. Was that how you saw him?

•“Aw, Tav…you okay??” He blinked quick, trying to keep composed.“Never better…c’mere, you…”

•Wrapping his arms around you, he gave you a kiss, just about taking your breath away.

•“My little artist…ya made me look so good.” You caught him rubbing his eye a bit. “I just drew what I saw.” “Well, ya see a work of art in me. And that? That’s the best surprise of all.”

Engineer

•With how much designing went into his machines, Dell could always appreciate the skills of an artist. So when he learned that you were one, well, that only sweetened an already sweet deal.

•You were a little self-conscious at first about him watching you work. You tended to just work parallel to one another, both lost in your own stuff.

•You’d sometimes stop what you were doing to follow his hands as he put the pieces together, fingers wandering as they looked for the correct tool.

•When the inverse happened though—when Engie watched you work—he admired your spontaneity. You could start off with a total wild card and somehow managed to pull it all together and make it work, in a way he never could have come up with.

•Being rather rigid in his own trade, that was something Dell couldn’t help but be dazzled by. Very smart man for sure, but rather by-the-book. Not like you. He saw genius in the way your mind worked.

•So, one day, as the two of you perused each other’s handiwork a bit, you shyly revealed the piece you’d made of him—hard at work on an updated sentry model.

•His lips parted a little like he was about to say something, but nothing came out.

•“I know it’s a little rocky…I’m not the best at drawing machinery.” Gently, he took ahold of the sketchbook and gave it a soft tug, nonverbally asking for permission to hold it. You let him.

•As he looked closer, a warm smile crept across his face. “Well, well…wouldja look at that. That’s me alright.” He chuckled heartily, but you realized it was from admiration, not amusement.

•“Look at you, (Y/N)! Saw me all covered in dirt an’ said ‘yeah, I can make art from that’. I love it…shucks, darlin’, I can hardly get my eyes off of it.”

•He looked back at you, still all aglow, only to find you blushing to the point of near luminescence. “Aw, c’mon now honey…no need to be all shy. You’re incredible, ya know that?”

•An arm slunk around your shoulders, pulling you fast to his side, quickly pecking the top of your head. “I love it, and I love you.”

Soldier

•Soldier was a brave man, that he was confident in. But even he was self-aware enough to realize he wasn’t the sharpest.

•Anything he’d ever drawn looked like kids’ stuff, so to see what you could make? It blew his mind.

•Jane tried not to stare while you drew—you’d gotten all nervous when you’d caught him, and he was trying to be courteous—but he couldn’t deny how it captivated him.

•“Whatcha workin’ on now?” “I’m drawing those two goofs.” You motioned to the Spy and Scout bickering as they often did. “Why them, of all things?” “I just like capturing the moment sometimes.”

•One day, as you sat while he drilled the rest of the team, you started to do just that. You found it hard not to chuckle just a little as the others groaned and rolled their eyes.

•Sure, you got their annoyance, but you couldn’t help but be pulled in by Jane’s excitement and hot-bloodedness.

•“Seemed pretty lost in your work there, or I woulda asked you to join in.” A strong hand ruffling your hair snapped you out of your daze. “Capturing the moment again?”

•“Uh-huh. I think this is my best one yet.” You turned the book around to show him, and you saw his lips part slightly in surprise before he suddenly laughed. “Haha! Look at that! It’s me!”

•You laughed with him, just happy to see him so tickled by it. “I think I really captured you.” “I’d say so, kid! I’d say so…wow.” The amusement gave way to what you realized was…almost awe.

•“I look…strong. Proud.” “Yep.” “…I look good.” “Of course you do.” He nudged his helmet down a bit with his hand, chuckling to himself. From what little bit of his face you saw…was he blushing?

•Imitating him playfully—it was something you two tended to do, he found it cute—you joked, in your best impression of him, “‘Are you going soft on me, maggot??? You’re red as a tomato!’” “Noooo…oh, (Y/N), what am I gonna do with you?”

•He caught the side of your face softly and pecked you on the cheek. “But…really. Thank you, sweetheart. I think that’s my favorite thing you’ve ever made.”

Sniper

•Truthfully, Mick had never given a lot of thought to the arts before he’d met you. What really caught his eye was the amount of time you put into it.

•Sniper knew better than anyone that holding still, completely focused on your task, being all but absorbed in it…that was respectable.

•The fact that he could leave for work and come back to find you in the same spot? It was just very attractive to him.

•You stopped by to watch him sometimes, very discreetly, on less busy days, although he wouldn’t lie, it got him nervous. He trusted in his own skills plenty, but…you weren’t just anyone. He couldn’t have you getting hurt.

•So one day, as he finally wrapped up, he saw you, still hard at work. He didn’t want to interrupt you, but if it was time to go, he wanted to go. Giving you a light pat on the shoulder, he chuckled. “Almost done there, darlin? Quittin’ time.”

•“Just a bit more…there. Perfect. Check it out.” You held up what you’d been working on: a full sketch of him invested in his own work.

•It took him a moment to process what he was seeing, but once he did, he couldn’t help but be amazed. Slightly slack-jawed, he looked up at you, the faintest trace of a smile.

•“Never considered myself the modelin’ type, ‘specially not out here, but…wow. Ya really did it. And I look bloody good, too!” “Well duh!” “Oh, stop—” Oh, that got him. The Aussie was surprisingly easy to fluster once he’d fully grown comfortable, and you loved it.

•“Awww, are you blushing?” “Just a little…now c’mon.” Taking your hand, he helped you up, quickly hugging you around the shoulders, catching you somewhat off-guard.

•“But really. Great job there. Thanks…it’s an honor, ya know that? To be drawn by you?” “Gosh—” “Heh, now you’re the one goin’ all red.” “Oh, stop—”

Medic

•The good(?) doctor first learned of your artistic prowess when he caught you trying to draw the charts he had on his wall. “Ooh! Very impressive.”

•Medic could do a lot of things, but drawing wasn’t really one of them. He couldn’t resist watching you work, even though he knew it was a bit touchy.

•“Poetry in motion, Liebe. Really.” Simp. “Oh, come on—” “I mean it! You have such precision, such grace…it’s a sight to behold!”

•So of course, when you were working on something that you absolutely would not let him look at, he wanted to see even more.

•“I promise that whatever it is, I will find it as beautiful as you!” “It’s not that, silly—it’s supposed to be a surprise!” He seemed almost sulky about it…it was kind of cute, although you did feel a bit bad.

•Eventually though, it was done—him, with Archimedes on his shoulder. “Okay, honey, you can look now.”

•One hand comes up over his mouth, audibly gasping. “Is that…? It is!!! Haha!”

•You had never seen him this happy, and you couldn’t help but smile. “You’ve really outdone yourself this time, (Y/N)! Look at that…and Archimedes too!”

•Perhaps unsurprisingly, he brings the bird out to show him too. It’s hard to gauge the response from a dove, but the tranquil cooing seems to suggest that he enjoys it.

•The doctor catches you off-guard as he sweeps you into a kiss. “Oh…danke, Schatz (treasure). May I keep this?” “Of course~”

•Best believe this man is showing your art off to EVERYONE who he treats, going on and on about what an incredible artist and person you are.

Spy

•This guy is a man of culture, he can appreciate good art. And good artists, wink.

•But in all seriousness, your attention to detail was incredibly attractive to him. After you’d been together for a while, the two of you would sit in his smoking room and relax together once the work day was over.

•Sometimes he’d be off to the side just doing his own thing, reading, but other times he’d actually sit beside you and watch. There was an intimacy to it, one you took time to grow fully comfortable with, but he was patient.

•So when you were very secretive one night, it caught his attention. Nothing slipped past him—not even you. You sensed him behind you surprisingly quickly though, and quickly closed the project up.

•“Shy tonight, are we? So unlike you, mon bijou (my jewel)…” “Hehe…be patient, babe, it’s not done yet.”

•His arms wrapped around you from behind briefly…gosh, it was difficult to keep anything secret from this man. “Very well. Keep your secrets…for now.”

•But he respected that you didn’t want him to see it just yet, and so he waited.

•“…Okay, you can look now.” In an instant, he was behind you again. It was hard to even look up at the guy right now, but once you did…there was this sense of wonder in his face that you hadn’t seen before.

•It wasn’t often that Spy looked at himself unmasked for longer than a few seconds—he’d almost forgotten his own face by now. For spies, he reasoned, it was better that way. But the way you had captured every detail of him…

•“Oh, what a handsome devil…wonder who that could be…” Was he trying to brush off his own flustering? Maybe a little.

•You couldn’t help but giggle as he almost hurriedly sat down next to you, quickly drawing you in close as he continued to look. Almost entranced.

•That element of intimacy I mentioned before? It was his turn to feel it now. Not even in a physical way, which is what this Casanova is so used to.

•No, the fact that you had clearly just…looked at his face, so intently. There was something raw and vulnerable to it. And as much as he wanted to look at it even more, his eyes were magnetically drawn to you.

•“I wouldn’t have ever asked it of you, but…I always wondered what it would look like if you drew me. I…”

•Glancing back down, he found that he couldn’t even come up with anything to say. The act of love had rendered him speechless. YOU BROKE HIM OH MY GOSH/j

•“…Do you like it?” Before you could say anything else, you were swiftly kissed, and I mean kissed.

•Spy always looked at you with a sort of passion, but this was different. He had never felt so much love for someone. Felt like a young, hopeless romantic boy all over again.

•“I adore it…and most of all, I adore you, mon cœur (my heart).”

AAAAND IM DONE. WHEW. That was fun!

[herstoryheaven]

Pablo Gavira x Reader: The Unexpected Date

Prompt: Pablo Gavira challenged you to a date if he scored, leaving you intrigued and ready to see if he could impress you or if you'd turn the tables on him.

Reader: Gender Neutral

Word count: 469

Average reading time: 1 min 45 sec

Category: Fluff

Warning: None

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Disclaimer: All events portrayed in my stories are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual events is purely coincidental. Any actions or behaviours portrayed by the characters may differ from reality and cannot be connected to any actual person. This work is purely fictional and intended for entertainment purposes only.

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In the stillness of the late-night football field, Pablo Gavira strode up with a confident grin, his eyes sparkling with playful challenge.

“If I manage to score,” he began, his voice brimming with self-assurance, “will you consider going on a date with me?”

You raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “Pablo, you’re one of Barcelona’s star players. I’ve never seen you miss a shot.”

He chuckled, the sound smooth and assured. “Well, tonight might be the night that will become usefull. Let’s see if I can impress you.”

You crossed your arms and watched as he positioned the ball with practiced ease. “I’m curious,” you said, trying to hide your amusement. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”

Pablo’s confidence didn’t waver as he took his stance. With a smooth approach, he sent the ball soaring towards the goal. Time seemed to stretch as the ball sailed through the air.

But instead of finding the back of the net, the ball veered wide, thudding harmlessly against the side of the goalpost.

“I missed,” he said with a laugh, his smile slightly sheepish but still confident.

You couldn’t help but chuckle, walking over to him and giving his shoulder a friendly pat. “I saw that, Pablo.”

“So, no date then?” he asked, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly, a playful blush on his cheeks.

You grinned, taking the ball from his hands. “How about this: if I score, I’ll be the one taking you out.”

His eyes widened in surprise. “You’re serious?”

“Absolutely,” you said, dribbling the ball and feeling its weight. You could see his eyes filled with a mix of curiosity and anticipation.

You squared up to the goal, focusing solely on the net. With a smooth, practiced motion, you released the ball. It arced perfectly, sailing past the goalkeeper and into the net with a satisfying swish.

Pablo’s jaw dropped, and he stared at you, his smile turning into one of genuine admiration. “You did it!”

“Looks like you’ve got a date,” you said, a triumphant grin spreading across your face.

He laughed, his eyes sparkling with excitement and a hint of disbelief. “I can’t believe it. You’re incredible.”

“You’re not so bad yourself,” you replied, feeling warmth rise in your cheeks.

“So, where are you taking me?” he asked, curiosity replacing his earlier nervousness.

“That’s a surprise,” you said with a playful wink. “But I promise it’ll be worth it.”

As you both walked off the field, the night air was filled with a palpable excitement. Walking side by side, your hands occasionally brushing, you felt a sense of anticipation for what lay ahead. This felt like the start of something special, and as you glanced at Pablo’s radiant smile, you knew this was only the beginning of an adventure that promised to be as thrilling as it was enchanting.

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Copyright: All stories contained herein are the intellectual property of the author. Unauthorized copying, reproduction, or distribution of these stories, in whole or in part, without explicit written permission from the author, is strictly prohibited and may result in legal action. Respect the creator's rights and creativity. For permissions or inquiries, please contact: herstoryheaven@gmail.com.

Request Guidelines: When submitting a request, please ensure that your request does not contain any explicit sexual content or graphic depictions, and avoid any form of extreme violence or graphic descriptions of violent acts. I appreciate your understanding and cooperation in maintaining a respectful and inclusive environment for all readers. If you're unsure about your request or want to request about someone I haven't written about yet, feel free to ask me anytime.

[multifariousqueer]

hey ur writing a so good vould you write a smut with miles Morales( not 42) and reader using webs as hand cuffs, thanks <333

Ofc, babes!! IF ANY OF YALL HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS, SAY IT WITH ME KNOW. IF IT DON’T APPLY, LET IT FLY. LEAVE ME TF ALONE IF YOU HAVE ISSUES WITH MY SMUT BC I GENUINELY DO NOT GAF

A/N; Hey y’all. Keep requesting as always and if you have an issue with this particular piece of work or any of my other smuts, please feel free to politely fuck off 🥰(I’m sorry I’m so sick of the comments under my post y’all).

Warnings: imma try not to put too many bc Tumblr will shadowban this post and i gotta feed y’all, look at the request, b0nd@ge, fluff, br33ding,d1rty t@lk, nicknames, $mut,lmk if I missed some

As the rain pattered against your dorm window, you sipped from a mug of tea as you had just finished your English essay and designing Miles’ new web shooters. He was currently out using them and trying them out as you took notes on their flaws and how they could be fixed. Miles always told you not too worry about his web shooters and just focus on making his suit more durable and you always told him:

“I can do both, Spider-Man’s girlfriend/engineer always does both"

He would chuckle and laugh and say:

“As long as you’re happy, Mami."

Miles let you have a lot of creative freedom with his design seeing as you were also his “girl in the chair” assisting him on missions sometimes, designing/building him new tech, testing out new fluid combos and overall, keeping him safe. As much as Miles enjoyed you being active in his escapades, he worries that something will happen and you’ll be targeted and used for something horrible. You reassure Miles that this will never happen because there is nothing connecting you to his suit or machinery due to your advanced tracking system being untraceable by outside forces. You installed a firewall so potent, it took you three months of nonstop work to crack it. When you finally did, Miles and you had celebrated for a whole week.

As you enjoyed your unusual alone time, you waited for Miles to tap on your window and enter.

“Hey, Spidey. How’d they work?” you smiled at your tall boyfriend

“They held up, thats for sure. I had to stop a bank robbery and those guys had some pretty jacked up weapons but the shooters did their job. How are you amor?” Miles spoke

“I’m good. I pounded through my English essay and yours.” You said, grabbing his suit to tinker with some of the shooters leaving him bare in your room in only his mask

“What’s the essay on again?” He said, grabbing a shirt as you saw his visible goosebumps on his skin due to the sudden temperature change

“The effects of technology on modern civilization” you smiled at Miles

Miles chuckled at this

“Damn, they called you out, huh?” Miles said, climbing on your ceiling and attempting to web a bottle of water

“looking for something?” you smiled, waving his shooters at him

“yeah actually.” he smirked

“You’ll have them in a sec.” you said screwing something in

“try em now” you said, throwing them to Miles

Miles tried them and they worked perfectly, even better than you had anticipated. Of course, he tested them by webbing you to him.

“Thank you, mami. You always get me right.”

Miles pulled you in for a kiss. The kiss was long and passionate, you could tell he was incredibly grateful for the time and effort you put into him and his alter ego. The kiss could’ve lasted eternity as your mouths moved in perfect motion of each other before you pulled away:

“Should we try out new web formula?” you said barely above a whisper, your eyes fluttering open

Miles chuckled

“Nah, the current one will work fine for this”

Before you could ask what was going on, Miles webbed you to the wall. He turned you around so your stomach was against the wall. He made sure to strategically place the webs so that your hands and ankles were bonded extra tight to the wall.

“I’ve wanted to do this forever” Miles said

Miles webbed your mouth before you could say anything and started rubbing you through your clothes. He fondled your perfect tits and cursed under his breath:

“Shit I’m so lucky"

He sucked on your neck as little moans and whimpers escaped. He moved his hands under your clothes and ripped them in one swift motion:

“I’ll buy you a new top and shorts, mami” Miles said

You moaned out an “awww” but it was quickly interrupted by Miles rubbing your clit while leaving kisses along the back of your neck. You felt a knot in your stomach and you wanted nothing more than to moan out Miles’ name as you approached your orgasm.

You felt yourself twitch as you moaned and whimpered, tears falling from your face as Miles stopped and started palming and smacking your ass:

“You thought it was gonna be that easy, Mami? como si no me conocieras” Miles taunted in your ear

All you could do was just moan and cry as you were completely under his command. He then snaked two fingers inside of you and started prepping you for his dick:

"Es tan apretada, mi princesa” he said, lowly

Miles knew that when he spoke Spanish to you, you get flustered and shut down. You turn into a giggling mess and this situation was no different; It didn’t help because Miles was kissing your sweet spot on your neck causing you to feel overstimulated. Your legs shook and you were practically sobbing as your boyfriend abused your technology and your body:

“Fuckkk you wanna cum, Mami? You want me inside of you, princesa? I wanna fuck your tight little pussy so bad I’m gonna cum in your womb when I’m in there. You gonna let me? You gonna let me make you feel good, hm?” Miles taunted

“Mhmmm” you mumbled. You nodded and turned to face him.

“If you weren’t webbed, I’d make you beg for it; but you’re formula makes it so that you won’t be begging for another three hours” Miles smirked

“mmmmmm” you mumbled

All this time, Miles was taunting your hole with his head, pushing it in and out and watching your hole drip with anticipation. You were sobbing and all you wanted was to feel full and to cum but Miles more interested in watching his powerful, smart girlfriend, fall apart on his cock like putty. The lewd sounds your pussy exuded were driving Miles crazy as he watched you beg for him with your eyes.

Miles pushed himself in and bottomed out. Your soft, plush walls sending his senses into overdrive as he forced himself to move and not just enjoy your pussy squeezing around him. The feeling of being full and the sight of Miles inside of you was enough to make your high return on steroids. Your legs shook as you moaned and whimpered alongside Miles’ own whimpers and groans. As you approached your highs, Miles’ thrusts became sloppier and harder as your body followed the rhythm of his thrusts and began to shake. Before you knew it, your eyes blurred, and you let out a long drawn out moan and a wave of pleasure came crashing down on you; had it not been for the webs, you would’ve fell to your knees.

Not long after, you felt Miles twitch and his movements stilled as he emptied his cum inside of you, his breathing became heavier as yours did too. Miles placed soft kisses along your figure and whispered praises against your body:

“Fuck you’re so beautiful, Mami. I love you so much. You did so well"

You felt yourself get weak in the knees but Miles had been supporting your stomach and your weight. You wanted nothing more than to kiss the man who emptied his cum into your womb but due to the webbing situation, you couldn’t. Miles felt this and he snapped the webs off of your hands and ankles in a flash. As you both were calming down, you saw a geometric blast of light before seeing Gwen’s face:

“WOAH! uh did I catch you guys at a bad time?” She asked awkwardly, covering her eyes.

You and Miles exchanged glances before he smirked and you felt the heat rise to your cheeks

[muddy-water-1997]

𝖠𝗀𝖾𝗇𝖼𝗒 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖡𝖾𝗇𝖾𝖿𝗂𝗍𝗌

𝖳𝖶: 𝗌𝗆𝗎𝗍 𝗌𝗆𝗎𝗍 𝗌𝗆𝗎𝗍, 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿, 𝗂𝗍'𝗌 𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗎𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝖼𝗎𝗍𝖾. 𝗆𝖺𝗒𝖻𝖾 𝗐𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗎𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝗀𝖾𝗍 𝖺 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗈𝗅𝗎𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗈 𝗌𝖾𝗎𝗇𝗀𝗆𝗂𝗇 𝗂𝗌𝗌𝗎𝖾?

Chapter 23 - An Arrangement

It had been a few weeks since that night in your apartment, and things had gradually cooled. Although you hadn't had direct contact with Seungmin, Chan ensured you stayed busy by dragging you to dance practice to keep you from going stir-crazy. While there was no way you could keep up with the group's rigorous routines, it was fun to try. Hyunjin spent hours patiently trying to teach you the simplest choreography, but it always ended with you doubling over in laughter. He was convinced you were purposely messing up, only to realise you truly had no rhythm.

Chan also brought you to the studio with 3RACHA, trying to show you the basics of producing and letting you watch the creative process unfold. Changbin thought getting you into the recording booth would be hilarious, attempting to teach you Korean and how to sing simultaneously. Predictably, it went as well as expected, with the four of you ending up in fits of laughter whenever you mispronounced something, inadvertently giving the lyrics a completely different meaning.

It was nice to hang out with Chris and the group like friends, without the looming threat of a media scandal. Chan maintained regular contact with the company execs, trying to gauge how the situation was unfolding back home and how likely it was that you'd be able to return. A part of you didn’t want to leave anytime soon; things had never been better. However, there was one aspect that felt off—Chris.

Despite the fun and camaraderie, Chris hadn't made the slightest move on you since that night, which felt strange. You were used to the intense affection and attention from the guys, and the abrupt shift from 100 to 0 was jarring. Chris wanted to take things slow, but after three weeks of dates and loving gestures, he hadn't confessed his feelings or tried to be intimate. You missed the connection, the physical and emotional intimacy that had once been so intense.

It left you in a state of confusion and longing, wondering why he was holding back and if he felt the same aching void you did. The uncertainty gnawed at you, making the days blur together in a mix of joy and frustration. Despite the laughter and lighthearted moments, the absence of his touch and the unspoken words weighed heavily on your heart.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey, babe?” Chris called from the sofa of your apartment into the kitchen, where you were preparing some snacks for the movie night you had planned. While the movie was a good front, there was a real reason you had invited him here tonight. You wanted to cut the bullshit. Sure, the comeback was around the corner, but it had been three weeks since Seungmin had cornered you in your apartment and three weeks since Chris said he liked you and wanted to take things slow. You’d been patient; you’d been the perfect non-girlfriend-girlfriend to him, but besides the odd cute nickname, he treated you more like a mate than someone he had actual feelings for.

“Give me a sec, Chris,” you called back, emphasising his name instead of the usual Chan, Channie, or Babe, hoping it would signal the seriousness of why he was really here.

You took a deep breath, gathered the snacks on a tray, and entered the living room. Chris was lounging comfortably, but there was a slight tension in his eyes as he watched you approach. Setting the tray down on the coffee table, you turned to face him, your heart pounding in your chest.

"Chris," you began, your voice steady but soft, "we need to talk."

“That’s almost as bad as calling me Christopher,” he laughed lightly. You smiled, trying to keep the conversation light despite the weight in your heart.

“What’s going on?” he asked gently, taking your hand in his.

“It’s been three weeks…” you began, your voice low. His expression shifted to one of understanding.

“Are you horny?” he asked with a chuckle, and your eyes widened in shock.

“No! I mean, yes, but that’s not the point I’m trying to make,” you said, playfully hitting his shoulder. “I’m starting to wonder if you’re regretting what you said that night,” you added tentatively.

“Regret it?” he repeated, his eyes full of concern as he shifted closer to you. “Regret telling you that I’m falling for you? Baby, no! Why would you even think that?”

“Apart from the occasional nickname and hand-holding, you haven’t really tried to ask me out or even get close to me…” you mumbled, your eyes flickering to where your hands were intertwined. “If you see me as more of a friend, that’s okay! I’d just rather know so I can protect my own heart.” You say with a sad smile.

“Y/N, look at me,” Chris pressed, and you lifted your eyes to meet his. “You’re right; I haven’t been as involved as I should have been. After that night with Seungmin and seeing how you’ve been with everyone since then, I could tell that part of you might be unable to give up what you had with the rest of the boys.” He brought a hand up to your face, caressing your cheek tenderly.

“I’d give it all up for you,” you said, leaning into his hand, savouring the touch, the most intimate you had been in weeks.

“I know you would, beautiful, but I want you to be happy too,” he said softly, his thumb stroking your cheek gently. “So I’ve been distant because I’ve had to think long and hard about what to do.”

“Are you going to leave me?” you asked, your eyes sad and searching his.

“No, baby, not at all,” he reassured you, his voice low and steady. “I was thinking that maybe we could come to an arrangement?”

“An arrangement?” you echoed, confused.

Chris took a deep breath. “I want us to be together, truly together. But I also understand that you have a connection with the other guys. What if we find a way to balance everything, to make sure you’re happy and fulfilled without losing what we have?”

“So I get to have you, and we can play around with the others if we feel like it?” you asked, needing clarification.

“Yeah, essentially. But there would have to be some ground rules moving forward because, for all intents and purposes, you are mine. I’m nice enough to share with the others, only for your pleasure.” He said the words with such certainty, and you closed your eyes, savouring the possessiveness and affection in his voice.

“I’m yours,” you repeated, opening your eyes before crashing your lips onto his.

The kiss was intense, filled with all the pent-up emotions and longing you had felt over the past weeks. Chris pulled you closer, his arms wrapping around you as if he never wanted to let go. He swiftly picked you up, your lips never leaving his skin as your legs wrapped around his body, and he walked you into the bedroom. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Laying you on the bed, he continued his assault on your lips. 

“Since you’re mine, I get to enjoy you alone,” Chris murmured, his eyes dark with desire. The shift in his tone sent a shiver down your spine, and you could feel yourself getting wet from just the way he was looking at you. Finally, after three weeks, you were going to feel him.

“All yours, baby,” you confirmed, your voice barely above a whisper.

Chris pressed another passionate kiss against your lips, his hands roaming your body with reverence. He treated you gently like you were made of the finest china, his touch worshipful. Each caress sent waves of pleasure through you, making your breath hitch.

He slowly undressed you as if unwrapping a precious gift, taking his time with each article of clothing. His fingers traced the curves of your body, lingering over every inch of skin revealed. The intensity of his gaze made you feel cherished and adored.

“God, you’re beautiful,” he whispered, his voice husky with emotion and desire. His hands continued exploring slowly, setting your skin ablaze with every touch.

You moaned softly, your body arching into his touch, craving more. “Chris...”

“Shh, baby,” he soothed, kissing a path down your neck. “I want to savor this.”

His lips followed the trail his hands had made, leaving a path of fire in their wake. When he finally had you completely bare, he took a moment to admire you, his eyes drinking in every detail.

“You’re perfect,” he murmured, and you felt your heart swell with love and desire.

He joined you in your nakedness, his body pressing against yours, skin to skin. The feeling was electrifying, a perfect blend of intimacy and lust. As he settled between your legs, his eyes met yours, and you saw the depth of his emotions there.

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” he admitted, his voice raw. “Wanted you.”

“Then take me,” you urged your hands tangling in his hair, pulling him closer.

You didn’t have to ask him twice. Chris ran his cock through your folds, covering himself in your slick before pushing into you gently. Your breath caught in your throat as he slowly pushed more of himself in.

“So perfect, so tight,” he growled, and you pulled his face down to meet your lips, desperate to have as much of him on you as possible. When he had finally buried himself to the hilt, you took a moment to adjust to his size while he kissed your neck, leaving little marks to make it known you were his.

“Chris…” you arched your back slightly, desperate to feel some friction.

“That’s not my name, princess,” he chuckled against your neck.

“Baby, please…” you corrected yourself, attempting to move yourself on his cock, causing his breath to hitch.

“Good girl,” he praised before he started moving at a slow pace. This wasn’t a quick fuck; he wanted to make love to you, to show you how much he truly treasured you. “God, you’re going to be the death of me. How am I ever going to leave this bed?” he growled, picking up his pace slightly.

You moaned, your body responding to his every touch, every thrust. His slow, deliberate movements were driving you wild, each one bringing you closer to the edge. Chris’s hands roamed your body, caressing your breasts, your hips, every part of you that he could reach.

“Chris… I need more,” you begged, your voice breathy with desire.

“Anything for you, baby,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. He picked up the pace, his hand finding your clit and rubbing slow, agonising circles as his thrusts became more intense, more urgent.

Your bodies moved in perfect sync, the room filled with the sounds of your shared pleasure. Every touch, every kiss, every thrust brought you closer to that blissful edge. Chris’s name fell from your lips like a prayer, your hands clutching at his back, desperate to hold on to this moment.

“Come for me, baby,” he whispered in your ear, his voice sending shivers down your spine.

His words pushed you over the edge, and you came undone around him, your body trembling with the force of your orgasm. Chris followed soon after, his own release intense and powerful. He held you close, his lips finding yours in a tender kiss as you both came down from the high.

As you lay there, entwined in each other’s arms, you felt a sense of completeness, of being exactly where you were meant to be. Chris brushed a strand of hair from your face, his eyes filled with love and adoration.

“I love you, girlfriend”, he whispered, his voice filled with sincerity.

“I love you too, boyfriend”, you replied, your heart full.

𝖶𝖺𝗇𝗍 𝗆𝗈𝗋𝖾? 𝖳𝖾𝗅𝗅 𝗆𝖾! 𝖬𝗒 𝗂𝗇𝖻𝗈𝗑 𝗂𝗌 𝖺𝗅𝗐𝖺𝗒𝗌 𝗈𝗉𝖾𝗇, 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖨 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖿𝗋𝗈𝗆 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗀𝗎𝗒𝗌!  𝖶𝖺𝗇𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝗃𝗈𝗂𝗇 𝗆𝗒 𝗍𝖺𝗀 𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍? 𝖣𝗋𝗈𝗉 𝗆𝖾 𝖺 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍 𝗈𝗋 𝖣��!

𝖳𝖺𝗀 𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍 𝖼𝗎𝗍𝗂𝖾𝗌 @fr34k4c1dr41n @rylea08 @stellasays45 @darthmaddie25 @whatsk-poppinhomies @minnieprincess85 @purp13st4r @livixcore @hyun-hwanj @0325tiny @privhace @goldilovesharry @jisunglyricist @gloriajovicc @mimililylupinblack @laney1488 @missbangtangirl @palindrome969

Orange means I couldn’t tag you!

[guilty-pleasures21]

hellO IT IS I! First off I'd like to start by saying hi! I love your writings; you are my favorite long story writer, and I want to STEAL your creative abilities. Reading one of your series rn actually :D

Just wanted to say that before I tell you: if you aren't taking requests or something in this makes you uncomfortable to just discard. OKAY NOW I HAVE AN IDEA

It's another Miguel fic where reader is also spidey. She's actually one of the more techy ones! Imagine engineer from tf2 but not necessarily Texan and can make things so advanced they nearly trump Miguel's devices, plus she has her own office/shop in the society where she makes stuff for other spideys. Reader can make almost anything with enough time and materials. The funky part is: she's really clumsy. Not like "oh no I dropped this stack of papers" clumsy. I mean ENGINEER CLUMSY. She'll hit her head on things, fall, get hit real bad in battle, eat a not-fully-cooked chicken sandwich, and every time she gets back up like it was nothing because she has high constitution. I'm talking slung across a room in battle, Miguel is screaming her name in concern, and she just. Gets up. And brushes dust off her spidey suit. Or she'll be up somewhere, fall from really high, die for a sec, then get up like nothing happened and go on normally.

Thank you for hearing me, I bow my head to you. Apologies if this was too long. Respect to your efforts, and have a good day/night!

AHHHHH!!! I don't know if you'd believe it, but this is my first Miguel request 🤩!! I don't get a lot of requests, so I'm really happy to take them! It gives me a chance to practise my creative writing skills and also a boost whenever I have writer's block (which happens A LOT as you can probably tell by how up and down my posting is 😅).

Thank you for the compliments! I always get a little worried my writings are too long sometimes, but it's nice to know that people enjoy them!

Okay, so I'm not familiar with TF2, but I did a quick search and I hope I've gotten the general vibe of what you were imagining 🥺!

The engineer

ATSV Miguel × clumsy techie fem!reader

Warnings: None.

----------------------------------------------------------

     She leaned over Miguel’s arm to sneak a peek at whatever he’d been working on beside her. “You know, if you re-wired this connection here and took these ones out completely, you could increase the charge while using less power.”

     He turned to her, an incredulous look on his face.  But she just smiled. 

     “Just try it,” she suggested calmly. “You can always change it back if it doesn’t work.”

     “Hmm.” She did have a point; he didn’t have anything to lose by giving it a go. He did as she said, taking out a few of the wires completely, then pulled the trigger on the taser. The end lit up with a spark stronger than it had ever done before and his eyes widened, impressed. “Wow. Good job, arañita.”

     She rolled her eyes, but kept the amused expression on her face. 

     “I’m not your mentee, Miguel.” She turned to face him, then gestured between the both of them. “We’re on the same level. Just say ‘thanks’. Don’t talk down to me like that.”

     She shrugged before returning her attention to her own gadget and Miguel raised his eyebrows: he’d only had people respond to him with anger, meeting him head to head and chastising him for what they perceived as his condescending tone. But she just corrected him like he simply hadn’t known any better. He turned back to his desk, suddenly keenly aware of her warm presence beside him, and the two settled back into their usual comfortable silence. 

     He walked into the cafeteria, unable to ignore his rumbling stomach any longer. But the lunch rush should have been over, so the area shouldn’t have been too crowded by then. His gaze landed on X, seated at a table with Ben, Jess and Peter, and his heart fluttered unexpectedly at the smile on her face. He pushed it down, not wanting to look into it, and walked over to the group. “What are we talking about?”

     She shifted over on her bench, giving Miguel enough space to squeeze in beside her, and her stomach flipped when she caught his now-familiar woodsy scent.  

     “X somehow ate a raw chicken sandwich yesterday and now she says she’s fine!” Ben ousted her immediately. 

     “It was undercooked!” X insisted. But her correction did nothing to ease the thoughts of salmonella that flooded Miguel’s mind. 

     “¡Arañita! You can’t do that! Why didn’t you just come here?!”

     X paused, caught off guard by the rare concern on his chiselled features. 

     “Oh. I was at work! But then I got to go home early.” She gave him a playful nudge, flashing him a conspiratorial smile, and Miguel felt his heart speed up again.

     “¡Arañita!” he scolded her, trying to maintain his hard expression. But she just continued to fix him with that adorable smile and all he found himself able to do was hang his head and sigh. “What are you having for dinner?”

     She twisted in her seat, swinging her leg over the bench to straddle it and face him fully. Miguel ignored the curious glances he noticed the others shooting them out of the corner of his eye and instead focused his attention on X. “Oh, I have some leftover pizza from … two nights ago? I think? So-”

     “You are not eating leftover pizza, X,” he warned her, folding his arms across his chest and scrunching his brows together in a serious expression. X felt her stomach tighten at the way his muscles pressed against his suit, then she glanced away, embarrassed.

     “Um, but …” What were they talking about again? Oh, right! Pizza! She lifted her gaze back to his. “But they’re serving cheeseburgers tonight!” 

     “But you always have your chicken patty,” Miguel pointed out, confused by her response. A few of the Spider’s had different food preferences to the others, so the kitchen staff always made sure to keep a stock of different ingredients.

     “They ran out,” X told him, hanging her head in disappointment.

     “Oh.” Miguel let his arms fall back to his sides, trying to come up with a solution to her predicament. “Well, we can … we can always go out … somewhere … with properly cooked food.” He crossed his arms again as he fixed her with a knowing look and her features broke into a smile. She hopped out of her seat, delighted, but remained standing by his side. 

     “Thanks, Miguel! I’ll meet you back here at seven!” She bent over to press a quick kiss to the side of his head, then ran off before he could process what had just happened. 

     “Uh, what just happened?” Ben asked when Miguel remained frozen in his seat, stunned into silence. Hobie’s lips curled into an amused smirk. 

     “I think boss-man here just asked X out,” he replied. “On a date.” He leaned forward in his seat, wiggling his brows to punctuate his point, and Miguel frowned. 

     “No, I …” He hadn’t asked her on a date. Had he? He’d never explicitly used the word, but … he had invited her to dinner. With him. Outside of work. Ay, mierda, had he just asked her out on a date? 

     Hobie laughed at how flustered the large man had become by the tiny little spider, then he started getting up from the table as well. 

     “Well, you might want to get yourself cleaned up first,” he suggested, nodding at Miguel’s scuffed up suit, the bruise on his cheekbone and the faint trail of stubble dotting his jaw. “I’m not sure if X is into the whole ‘I’ve been awake for the past seventy-two hours wrestling different lowlifes and creeps’ look.” Miguel huffed in irritation. 

     “She’s never-” ‘complained about it before’, was what he’d been about to say. But that would only make it sound like he cared what she thought about him - like he paid attention to what she thought about him. And then they’d only tease him even more about it being a date. He turned away from them, sniffing in offence. “It’s not a date.”

     Jess snickered at his petulant attitude, her features twisted into a knowing expression. 

     “Okay, but you still have to look presentable, right?” she pointed out. “You’re not just going to drag her to any random restaurant in your Spiderman suit, right? Especially if she’s going to be all nicely dressed up.” 

     His body heated up at the thought of her being ‘all nicely dressed up’. What would she wear? He’d never seen her in anything other than her Spidersuit before. But she had some really nice curves - curves he’d find his gaze lingering on for a little too long at times. He shook the thought away, pushing his feelings of excitement aside. 

     “Uh, yeah. Fine. Whatever.” He waved them off, then stood up, shifting in position hesitantly before he walked away. “Message me if you need anything.” He marched away before they could tease him anymore on the subject, but his stomach flipped at the thought of seeing her again later that night. 

     He walked into the workshop, searching for the small form of his- of X. 

     “¿Arañita?” he called into the room when he couldn’t find her. 

     “Workshop!” she yelled from under the table, not knowing whether or not he’d already guessed where she was. “Ugh, where’s my- Ow!” She stood up and rubbed her head where she’d hit it on the underside of the table. And ay, Dios, she looked so cute in her little black dress, her hair neatly done, her features prettily made up. She gave him a sheepish smile as she walked over to him and Miguel felt his heart beat a little faster at the sight. 

     “Sorry, I was just- Whoa!” Her eyes widened in fear as she slipped on her wrench - lying on the floor in front of her - but Miguel shot a web at her, catching her before she fell to the ground. He tugged her towards him, pulling her into his arms, then he huffed in irritation. 

     “Be careful, arañita!” he chastised her. “You’re always … You need to be more aware of your surroundings, X.”

     “Oh! I …” She trailed off, her mind going blank when she realised how close they were now. She took in his long, dark eyelashes, the flecks of gold in his copper-coloured irises, the tiny scar on his cupid’s bow. She swallowed hard as her gaze fixed itself on his lips and Miguel raised an eyebrow, confused by her silence. 

     “¿Arañita?”

     “Huh?” She dragged her eyes back up to his, but her expression remained distracted as she looked up at him. “Oh! Sorry, I …”

     She curled up against his chest, suddenly shy, and his heart sped up as he realised how close they were now: her slender fingers brushing against his chest, her soft curves wrapped up in his arms, her silky hair tickling his neck. He released his hold on her, his body heating up at the feeling of her pressed up against him. Then he turned his gaze away from hers, unconsciously rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “Uh … Are you ready to go?”

     “Oh!” X turned back towards her desk and reached for her handbag. “Let me get my- Hey! I’ve been looking for this!” She picked her drill up off the floor and gave it a little rev to check that it still worked. She smiled when it did, then proceeded to begin shoving the machine into her bag. 

     “What …?” Miguel reached over to take the drill from her and place it down on her desk. Then he fixed her with an exasperated look. “You don’t need a drill on a date, arañita.” He froze when he realised that he’d just referred to it as a ‘date’, but X just grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck. 

     “On the contrary, I think drilling is the perfect activity for a date, Miguel.” He sucked in a breath at her naughty suggestion, his fingers gripping her waist tightly, and she bit her lip at the feeling. 

     “Uh,” he stammered out, his voice hoarse from all the dirty thoughts running through his mind at the feeling of her brushing up against him again. “Let’s … I …”

     X snickered at his nervousness and stretched onto her toes to press a kiss to his cheek. “Let’s go, amor!” 

     She giggled at the word as she began making her way over to the door and Miguel felt his heart skip a beat as he followed after her. 

     “¡Arañita!” Miguel called to her, narrowly avoiding Doc Ock’s outstretched tentacle as he swung between the buildings. “Use your bubble gun thing!”

     “I’m trying, amor!” X yelled back, hitting her gadget from where she stood on a nearby balcony. “Ugh! I need …” She searched her surroundings, trying to find a tool she could use to un-jam the damn thing. Then she spotted the glint of a coin lying on the floor. She cheered at the sight, then swung off the balcony to go get it. But Doc Ock caught her just as she leapt off the edge, swinging his tentacle at her and smashing her into a wall. 

     “¡Arañita!” Miguel screamed, flying after her as she began falling to the ground. He caught her just before she hit the hard floor, then set her back down on her legs, wrapping her up tightly in his arms. “¡Querida! I told you to be more careful!” 

     X shook her head, disoriented by the hit. “I’ll … I’ll be more careful, Miguel. I need that coin!” 

     She pointed at the shimmering object and Miguel shot a web at it to pull it over them. X flashed him a sheepish smile as he handed it to her, vividly imagining the exasperated expression he was probably wearing beneath his mask right that second. “Oh, right.”

     “Hmm.” Miguel squeezed her hand before swinging himself back up into the air and slicing one of the villain’s tentacles off with the blades attached to his suit. X gulped at the way his lean body twirled and flew through the air, then she fixed her gun and took aim. 

     “Take that, you- What?!” She groaned as she found herself trapped in the mound of sticky bubbles that had shot out of the gun and right at her - she’d accidentally aimed it at herself instead. “Shit!” 

     Miguel turned to his girlfriend when he heard her screech of frustration, then he sighed and pressed a button on his watch. The bubbles slipped off her suit immediately, freeing her and leaving her in a confused state. 

     “What? How …?” 

     “I made some adjustments to your suit, cariño,” Miguel informed her, swinging over Doc Ock to slice off another of his tentacles. “Just as a precaution.”

     X gasped, horrified by the thought of someone messing with her stuff. “You what?! You touched my suit?!!”

     “Well, yeah!” Miguel responded quickly, not knowing what the big deal was - he’d touched her suit many times before already. And she’d never complained then. “I knew you'd somehow get yourself into a situation like this!”

     X huffed and folded her arms across her chest. What if he messed up all her codes? Or altered the layout of her suit in some way? What if she pressed a button to activate one of her gadgets and it did something else instead? Ugh! Now she'd have to go back and remake her entire suit! How inconsiderate of her boyfriend! Were boyfriends supposed to be this inconsiderate? Or was hers just especially nosy? “Now I'm gonna have to go back and remake my entire suit!”

     Miguel landed in front of her, his confusion obvious even through his mask. “What? Why?”

     “Because!” she exclaimed, aiming her gun at Doc Ock as he took another swing at her. “How do I know you didn't fiddle with one of my settings?!” She pressed the trigger and this time, she reached her intended target. Doc Ock twisted his neck around, trying to free his appendages from the mass of gelatinous goo. Miguel crossed his arms, amused by the cute little glare his girlfriend shot at him. 

     “Oh, you mean like how you always do with my stuff?” he pointed out. X’s jaw dropped at the accusation. 

     “W-What?” she stammered out. “I'm not ‘fiddling’! I'm ‘improving’ …” 

     She sniffed and gave a little pout, offended by his dismissal of her enhancing his gadgets as ‘fiddling’ with them. But could he be right? Was this how he felt whenever she started playing around with one of his gadgets? But that was just a gadget, not his entire suit! But maybe she hadn't been so considerate either. She bit her lip as she peeked up at him, picturing the smug smirk on his face. She sighed. “Fine. I'll stop-”

     “No,” Miguel interrupted her, making his way over to the struggling Doc Ock. “Don't even pretend like you aren't just gonna keep on messing with my stuff, arañita.”

     X narrowed her eyes at him and frowned as she followed behind. “You're so mean, Miguel.”

     He walked into the workshop just as his girlfriend handed one of the Peter’s back his web shooters. 

     “There! It should be as good as new. Better, even! But don’t tell Miguel.” She grinned mischievously and Miguel felt his heart flutter at the sight. Peter shot a few webs at the ceiling, testing out the repaired gadget, and his eyes widened with admiration. 

     “Whoa! That’s great! Thanks, X!”

     “No problem!” She waved at him as he left the room, then her features lit up when she saw Miguel walking over to her. She ran over to him and he swiftly webbed away a stray screwdriver before she could trip over it. He should really look into putting motion detectors on her tools or something - programme an alarm to go off every time she got too close to one of them. “¡Querido! ¿Qué tal, mi amor?”

     He wrapped her up in a hug as she slid her arms around his neck, then she pulled back slightly and stretched onto her toes to peck his lips. Miguel bent over, resting his forehead on hers, and narrowed his eyes. “Mmm. Better than mine, hmm?”

     His girlfriend giggled and Miguel’s lips stretched wider at the sound. He slid his hands down her back, stopping when he reached her ass, and X sank into his chest, leaning into his touch. 

     “Oh!” She straightened, suddenly remembering something. Miguel kept his hands glued to her waist as she bounced over to her desk and grabbed her tablet. 

     “So, I've been trying to be more aware of my surroundings - like you told me to?” She twisted around in his arms and glanced up from her tablet, a proud expression on her face. “And my accident rate has dropped by seventy six percent in the last three months!”

     Miguel grinned, not pointing out that that was the same amount of time that they’d been officially dating and that he’d gotten familiar enough with her quirks to anticipate her clumsiness. Instead, he tightened his grip around her, pulling her back into his chest so she had to crane her neck back to look up at him. “What about the other twenty four percent?”

     She laughed at the way he murmured it against her lips, his voice smooth and suggestive. Then she pressed her lips back to his and smiled. “No one can be completely free of accidents, Miguel. I'm only human. I'm not perfect.”

     “You're perfect to me, querida,” he retorted. X let out another soft giggle and stretched onto her toes to shower her boyfriend with soft kisses. 

     “And you to me, cariño.”

[al-hekima-madara-blog]

Is Madara weaker than Hashirama?

Call me a Madara apologist but the idea that Hashirama always beats Madara is wrong.

It is correct though to say that after Izuna's death, Madara was never able to catch up with his rival. All his will was about protecting his kin and specifically his last brother. When he lost all of that, yes he found an other goal corrupted by Black Zetsu, but because it was so different from his true nature, it wasn't able to push him enough to surpass Hashirama. The infinite Tsukuyomi is a way to cope with the loss of his hopes that died along his brother. You notice how it lacks creativity, all the plan was written down step by step by black Zetsu and it consisted for Madara to just froze the whole world into a dream and stop fighting anymore to make the world a better place. Also I won't be surprised if Madara developed this fangirling for Hashirama's power after his defeat at the Valley of the end. If we're honest, the gap between them isn't that big considering how both of them were exhausted in the Valley of the end 0.0. It was one wooden clone close, if I may say! But this small difference was lethal and changed the whole history of the shinobi world. And maybe Madara crystallised (or froze) that moment as a trauma he can't overcome. It's as if for instance Naruto gives up working harder after losing against Sasuke at the Valley of the End 1.0 and fantasizing how powerful was Sasuke's sharingan and that it is the ultimate dojutsu that he has to steal in order to become stronger. To put in a nutshell I believe that if Izuna was still alive and his clan still supporting him, maybe Madara wouldn't have been so impressed by Hashirama and would have found new way to counter his mokuton ( and there is a lot of way to counter it I should write a post about it🤔). It's always the same pattern with Madara, his actual weakest point is his sensitivity, not his physical abilities or his might. Losses and failures had a huge toll on him and brought him into despair rather than being a fuel to try harder and endure like Hashirama or Naruto.

There is this moment during the war when Madara stole Edo Hashirama's senjustu and he's shocked how easy it is for him to control it. All those years he was scared to master the Senjutsu because he put Hashirama's power on a pedestal only to realise he could have done it earlier if he had believed in himself. We don't know how fast the training was for Hashirama but we know that it took a long time for Naruto to master it at the mount Myoboku even Jiraya was never able to get the perfect form. Madara did it in 3 sec...

In other translation he precises he thought senjutsu was harder to master

"Madara's back touched the ground for the very first time"

Let's go back to the first illustration. between their first encounter by the river and Izuna's death. Hashirama admitted that it's the first time Madara was K-O.

What can we guess about that? From the moment they met when they were 12 years old by the river to approximately 25/26 years old (Izuna died at 24). They might have been moment when they finished ex aequo, or that one side strategically retreated or that Madara had a real advantage over Hashirama and vice versa Hashirama took the lead in a different battle. Why? Because we saw that dynamic played between Sasuke and Naruto. Sasuke was first introduce as the genius while Naruto like the dunce. After Jiraya's training, Naruto lead. Then Sasuke took over after the valley of the end 1.0 and his three years training with Oroshimaru. During the 4th Shinobi war we can say that they were both equal with a small advantage to Naruto having a quick power up when he learnt to work with Kyubi. Then Hagoromo gave them the same power in order to beat Sage Madara and later Kaguya. After the Valley of the end 2.0, Sasuke conceded victory to Naruto's ideology but technically they both ended up equal, losing both an arm. And all of this is happening during a short period of 5 years from their 12 years old in team 7 to 17 years old at the conclusion of the Fourth Shinobi war.

What Naruto and Sasuke developed in 5 years during 700 chapters we have it resumed in this single panel above for Hashirama and Madara that spent about 15 YEARS fighting each other regularly in battlefields. That panel resumes perfectly all those years before Konoha was founded. All this period without seeing details about their personal lives, their clans or their training. ~by the way my fanfic ~Madara golden Age explores this period of Warring state era if you're interested here 👀~ Obviously they went through a lot of challenges and hardships, losses and victories from both side. If Uchiha were hired to fight Senju it's because their strength were heavenly equivalent. Madara had to win from time to time against Hashirama and the Senju clan in order to be credible, to be hired by warlords for years and to feed his clan. Life expectancy being 30 years and both becoming leader of their clan before reaching this age means they respectively lost clansmens, friends and their fathers during the warring state era. They are the powerhouse they are because it was a dire matter of life or death. Yet Naruto the manga is focused on the moment Madara lost everything that matters to him, so naturally he kept losing against Hashirama hence why he's seen as a perpetual loser. Being the main villain, it's normal that his fall into darkness is more interesting to the plot that his glorious days. In the end, the story is always written by the final winner.

[chaifootsteps]

putting aside the way HB continually lies to its audience and spreads no good very bad ideas about what abuse and sexual coercion is or isn't to a fanbase that skews disturbingly young for a sec

from a creative writing perspective, Stolas is like one of the most frustrating characters to have ever been

like, there's three or four different versions of him at this point. he was a competent antagonistic force once. he had hidden depths.

now he's a pathetic passive whiny creature who is somehow a prince despite doing most of his duties poorly. he has the interior mental landscape of a child. he stakes his happiness on a lower class man who he's trapped with him through his economic need, and he blames that man for his own inability to handle his feelings like an adult.

he wears a godawful romper (sorry, I just can't get past the outfit redesign. it's so distractingly bad)

it just really strikes me watching episodes like The Circus when he as literal imp servants from childhood, or Western Energy when he goes to a cafe where the whole gimmick is imps pouring tea for bluebloods, that like

there could have been a character here, if the show just acknowledged the power Stolas had been born into and is so used to he doesn't even seem to notice that his monthly hookup is the same class as servants he's used and abused his entire life

if the show recognized what a sad wet cat Stolas is, and not in the 'feel sorry for him!!!' type of way

instead we're getting increasingly liberal lectures on 'royalty have feelings just like everyone else, they can't help being rich :(' and all the setup - the mirroring of Blitzo being sold as a child then as an adult to Stolas, the class difference, the rich pitting poor against poor - all goes down the drain, because the show can't bear to have us judge Stolas even slightly

and on top of all that, he isn't even good at wielding the power and privilege he does have. he apparently only bothers using his book once a month for his job, he doesn't memorize his spells, he doesn't teach his oh so important heir magic to defend herself with, he lends out his grimoire with no safety precautions as long as he can be dicked down once a month

funniest thing is if you point out Stolas sucks at his job on top of all his other flaws you'd probably get the 'they're in Hell!' excuse

if that's the case why does the show keep insisting he's perfect? why isn't there more of an Always Sunny sense that we're supposed to enjoy the characters sucking at everything? I maybe could have liked a show like that

There isn't even all that much I can say to add to this...you took the words right out of my mouth, every single one.

[holyfruitsnax]

Venus Van DAYUM

A/N: Title may be temporary I just couldn't think of anything clever to name this. UM so I put out a poll on who to write for next and I didn't include our favorite trans honey, Venus Van Fuckin' Dam. Obviously when I got comments saying Venus I had to write something for her. I've had a creative itch these past few days and this has not helped cause I just love her and want to write MORE. Anyways enjoy. (PLEASE! I have never written for a trans individual before so if you have any feedback or tips for that LEMME KNO OKAY. I just ended up writing her like a lady because that's what she is, just describing other appendages as I saw fit!!)

Pairing: Venus Van Dam x Fem!Reader

Warnings: SMUT, PnV, Riding & Face sitting for just a sec, Foul Language, Jax is a little shit, Venus is HOT and a wise trans mommy, never proof read (Obviously)

Your glass clinked against the shined wood counter, laughter and music filled the biker bar. Your eyes narrowing as they trailed a certain tall brunette, her lean arms wrapped around the neck of your good friend Jackson Teller. Of course he'd do this. Since you'd started hanging around Venus more often, finding the two of you had more in common than you'd first thought, your closer friends had made it their mission to absolutely tease you. So when Jax approached Venus and asked if she'd like to dance, you told her to go ahead with a strained smile. Now, she danced up close to the blonde man with a wide smile as they spoke behind the music. The sound of her boisterous laugh filled your ears, your own eyes moving up her body to catch her doe like Hazel eyes staring at you. Your predatory stare causing the woman to swallow thickly, patting Jax on the shoulder before she moved away from him with a finger pointed in your direction.

"My bad Chick, you can have your girlfriend back." Jax's blue eyes sparkled with mischief as he lifted his hands in the air. "Thanks Jax." You smiled sheepishly looking down at your drink, Venus's black heels clicking as she came into view again. There it was, the thing that made Venus want to poke at you. To dig deep. You never seemed to deny the things your friends said when it came to the two of you being something more. Venus bent at the waist, large hand wrapping around your glass to take a swig of the fruity mixture you'd chosen. Her lips wrapped over the rim, eyes connecting with your own as she swallowed with an appreciative hum. "You've been starin' sweetheart. Course I can't blame you." She teased, her free hand pushing beneath her large chest for emphasis. She wore a little black dress, the long tight sleeves showing every muscle in her long arms, the low neckline practically giving you a full view of her breasts, and a hem so short you could slouch and see her panties while she had danced with Jax. It had to be on purpose.

You shrugged with a smug smirk, shoulders rolling back as Venus brought the glass back to your lips forcing to to take a drink. "I don't know how much more of this I can take." Your voice airy being so close to the woman. "Me or the drinks?" Venus jested with a raised brow, swirling the bright colored drink infront of you. "Both." You laughed placing your head in your hands as your shoulders shook. "Well then answer this for me..." Venus encouraged you to finish your drink in a few gulps, the slight burn of your throat making you hiss as you stared at her, waiting. "Are you just gonna sit here and stare at me all night...Or are we gonna dance?" Your mouth fell open at her words, fingers tapping the bar twice before holding up two fingers to call two shots of liquor your way. You watched as Venus reached around you, arm grazing your shoulder as she took one of the shots. Downing your own quickly you nodded sliding off of the barstool you'd sat on for the past forty five minutes.

"Yeah, yeah let's dance." You matched Venus's giddy grin, hands wrapping together as you back her towards the dance floor. You weren't sure if it was the alcohol or the effect being so close to Venus had on you but, you quickly found yourself grinding against her to the beat of the music. Venus's hips rolled as she pressed her ass against you, hands playing in the air, hair flipping to one side as she looked back at you. Your hands found their place on her firm hips, one moving to hold down the short hem of her dress so she could let loose. The two of you danced song after song, having drink after drink until you found yourself fumbling over your words. "S-so fuckin' sexy." You mumbled as Venus turned in your arms, brows raised in shock. "You don't understand- jus' how much I want you baby." Your voice slurred as you continued to grind against Venus's hips beginning to feel her bulge beneath her dress. "I think someone's had too much to-" Venus's sultry voice began though it was stopped when your lips pressed needily against hers.

Hoots and hollers pulled you back to reality as you and Venus drunkenly made out on the dance floor. Oh shit. You retracted your body from hers ignoring the sweet taste her lips left behind, pink lipstick staining your skin. Your eyes darted between the boys and Venus's confused face as you cleared your throat. Before you could say anything your feet carried you out of the bar at a fast pace, Venus following close behind. "Hey Y/N wait- can we-" Venus started, hand finding its place on your shoulder so she could spin you around to face her. "I'm sorry." You mumbled. eyes panning to the side, the sweet, understanding look in her eyes being hard to look at. "I'm going home...You wanna ride?" Your throat clench around your words trying your best to hold back the intense push and pull of your heart. "I don't know if you should be driving-" She shook her head glancing at your bike. "S'just around the corner, dorm at the warehouse so." You waved your hand through the air as you spoke, stance a bit wobbly.

Despite better judgement Venus let you strap a helmet to her head, hopping in the back if the bike with you. You revved the bike loudly before riding off down the street, knuckles white as you gripped the handlebars tightly. "I don't pretend to know what goes on in that pretty little head of yours Chick...But I'm starting to understand how you really feel." Venus's voice raised over the engine making you chew at your bottom lip. Her hands found their way around your torso, gliding up and down your sides before trailing up to your breasts, well manicured fingers plucking the top few buttons of your vest open so she could squeeze the soft flesh underneath. Your teeth clenched trying to ignore the way she moved to press her bulge against your ass. "Venus." Your voice serious as you pulled into the warehouse parking lot, sliding off the bike with Venus. You began to make your way through the warehouse, Venus's small remarks left behind you until you found yourself at the end of the dorm hallway. "Please- please stop ignoring me Y/N." Venus stood at the bottom of the stairs with her arms crossed accentuating her biceps.

You turned to face her with a lost expression painted on your face. "You're not mad at me yet?" You faltered, watching the tall woman shake her head. "No...No you see I've been like you before sweetheart. Hurt and confused, but I think the real reason you're running from me....Is because you're scared. Scared of what other people may think, scared of this, the way I make you feel...Scared because you know that this could be something real." Venus's eyes searched yours as she made her way up the stairs to you, her hips swaying with each step. Your mouth opened and closed, brows knitting as you took in her wise words. You found yourself surrounded by her presence as she started backing you down the hall. "Now, I am a woman that knows what I want...The real question is- are you?" She teased, eyes raking over your body making you shiver. In a flash you'd grabbed Venus, pushing her back against an archway, lips crashing against hers like before.

Venus's knees buckled beneath her as you pushed your thigh between her legs, one hand placed firmly against the doorframe while the other laced itself in your hair. You parted her lips with your tongue, exploring the wet cavern with heavy breaths as Venus moaned into your mouth. You pulled back, both of your chests heaving while Venus rolled her hips over your thigh. "You're right, okay? I am nervous, a-and scared...and I really do- want you." You confessed, eyes dancing with Venus's wide blown pupils. This time, Venus kissed you, a sweet pent up kiss making you groan at the contact. You trailed your lips down Venus's neck taking a moment to nip at her adams apple before finding your way to her large tits. Your eyes flicked up to watch Venus pull her bottom lip between her teeth as your lips closed around a bud through the thin fabric of her dress, fingers moving the fabric out of the way to finally swirl your tongue around the hardened pink bud, enjoying the way your fingers sank into the heavy flesh.

"Where the hell's your room?" Venus panted above you, fingers raking through your hair. You released Venus from the wall, eyes intense as you lead her a little further down the hall, watching the bounce of her bare tits as she walked. You unlocked and pushed open the door to your room as thick, french tip adorned fingers pushed your leather vest off your shoulders. One of your hands bolted to grip around one of Venus's wrists to stop her, you flung the vest onto the bed and pulled her hand to your mouth sucking a digit while you slid her black dress down her legs, enjoying the small noise she tried to hide. "Put it on." You commanded, head tilting towards the vest making Venus's eyes go wide but, she did as you asked pulling the leather over her bare skin, leaving the front open. You hummed approvingly staring at Venus with half lidded eyes, backing her up against the bed to push her back onto the sheets. Swift movements remove the rest of your clothes as you threw your legs on either side of Venus's lean torso, her dick hard and dripping already as you ground your ass against it.

Her hands found the back of your thighs pulling you up to hover over her face, desperately bringing your hips down so she could flatten her tongue against your slit. You moaned at the feeling of her warm wet tongue playing with you, the muscle dipping between your folds to circle your clit and prod deeply into your cunt. Your back arched as you pressed further down against Venus's face, her heavy grunts and moans making your heart thump wildly, eyes falling shut as she ate you out. You pulled up feeling a tight bundle build in your lower stomach, Venus's hands gripping at the soft flesh of your ass as you pushed her away gently. "As good as that feels baby...I want something else.." You tilted your head as Venus helped you slide back down her body. Your eyes taking in the flush that had spread along her face, neck and chest. You lined yourself up over her thick cock, teasing your folds over her sensitive tip making her breath hitch in her throat.

"Come on sweetheart, I know you can take it." Venus's southern accent sang up to you, satisfied when you finally sank down around her dick, warm tight muscles pulling her deep inside making you both moan out. "S-so, so pretty." You called down to Venus making her smile as you began to roll and bounce your hips against hers, fingers brushing her curled brown hair out of her face. You started off with a slow smooth rhythm, raising your hips before settling back down flush against Venus, your ministrations pulling a deeper throaty moan from her. "Feel good baby? Hmm?" You jested with a roll of your hips feeling yourself flutter around Venus as another low moan draws from her. You liked hearing both of her voices, both being part of her. The hard pull of her cock paired with the soft bounce of her tits, the sharp yet feminine features her face held made your eyes roll back in pleasure. She was like a big ol' southern gift wrapped in a pretty pink bow.

"Yes- Lord yes! darlin'...sweetest little thing I've ever had-Ohhh shit." The next moan higher as she bucked up into you, encouraging you as you bounced your hips faster against her, nails biting into the leather of your vest she wore. "That's right darlin'...Fuck yourself on my cock." Venus bit out through pearly white teeth, fingers rolling against your swollen clit making you throw your head back and moan. That familiar taught feeling filled your belly again, walls gripping repeatedly as you rode Venus sloppier. "M-gonna come, oh god Y/N you're gonna make me- ahh." Venus panted and clenched her teeth, dick twitching inside of you as she released with a guttural moan, hands gripping at your chest. You came with a high moan, gushing around Venus, your orgasm lengthening her own as she writhed beneath you, hips pumping in and out of you slowly with small "oh's" falling from her. Venus tugged you down close to her chest so she could hungrily kissed you, hands lifting your shaky hips and thighs to help you off of her. You stared in silence at one another, hands lovingly petting either side of Venus's face.

"I love you." You blurted, voice hushed, though you were sure anyone else in the dorms had already been disturbed between the moaning and banging of your headboard against the wall. Venus grinned happily, placing a chaste kiss against your lips "I love you too darlin.". The alcohol you'd consumed earlier made your eyes grow heavy, pairing with the warmth Venus supplied next to you. Her large hand ran circled around the soft skin of your back and shoulders. "So- does this make us girlfriends?" You chuckled lifting your head to look over at Venus who smiled back at you with a nod. "This makes us whatever you want us to be babydoll. If you want casual, you want serious, consider it done." Venus caressed your face, lips falling against your forehead as you hummed in thought. "Alright..." Your voice going soft as darkness invaded your vision.

"You really think blackmail is the best decision here?" Bobby shook his head at Jax and the other members sat at the table. Venus's hips switched as she made her way down the stairs, multiple sets of eyes landing on her form. She wore a little pair of your sleep shorts and your vest, still open, an eyebrow sassily raised at the boys with her hands on her hips. "Bet y'all ain't ever seen tits this good in one of these before hmm?" Venus shimmied her chest as a few of the boys cackled seeing Tig's face follow the woman. "You jealous Tiger?" She teased his way watching him shrug "A little." He nodded. "I know you are!" Venus exclaimed with a slight, giddy squat "Now, if you gentlemen will excuse me, my baby's gonna need an aspirin and some water." She laughed, long legs trotting off to the communal kitchen. You had raced out of bed after waking up alone, standing at the top of the stairs as Venus disappeared into the kitchen. "Heard you needed an aspirin...Baby." Jax giggled watching your face grow hot beneath their stares, not minding the shy smile that tugged at your lips.

[bloodhoundluke]

lucky ❦ luke hemmings

pairing: luke hemmings x partner! reader

description: there's nothing more annoying than being sick, but thankfully luke is there to make you feel better. this was requested with the prompt #8 "i'll kiss away the pain, baby" from my prompt list. warnings: lots of pet names and FLUFF. and a few curse words. word count: 1,1k. a/n: hey there friends! 🌟 sooooo i finished this instead of doing my uni work, oopsie... and this is my first sickfic, so i hope it's okay! it's short-ish but hopefully you'll like it anyway. i really need a luke to comfort me the next time i'm sick 😥 i'll see u again 🧡

You were never sick. Well, maybe never was a bit of a reach. Once in a while you caught the flu, but this time it was different. Your head was burning and you couldn’t see properly. Fever. 

Thank god the front door opened and Petunia wiggled to the entryway without barking. It meant one thing. Luke was home. You heard him place his keys on the hallway table and take his shoes and jacket off. You squinted your eyes and groaned. Damn, you loved that man, but could he be quieter?

“What’s going on here bubs?” Luke curiously asked as he sat next to you on the living room couch. You had been laying there since the morning. Ever since you had wished a good studio session to him and he went to do what he did best, being creative. 

“Shhh, be more quiet baby”, you whispered as you adjusted your blanket over your legs. 

“Oh, shoot, sorry…are you okay?”, his tone changed and his sweet, quiet words echoed through your head. You shook your head no. 

“Oh no….Do I need to get you anything? Painkillers? Water? We’ve got your favorite lemonade in the freezer if you’d like”. One thing about Luke was that he took the caretaker role naturally. And a bit too serious at times, but you loved him for it. Before him, you didn’t even know men like him existed. 

“Lemonade, please”, you whispered. “Okay, I’ll be here in a sec”, he kissed your temple softly and you closed your eyes.

—❦

You woke up to the sound of Petunia barking and Luke cursing the dog off. “Shh, mama’s not well”. You felt Luke’s body next to yours and opened your eyes just to see him looking at you with his worrisome eyes. 

“Hey”, your throat was sore. “What time is it?”.

“It’s 6pm. Didn’t want to wake you up, princess”.

“It’s okay. Am starving. Can we order something?”.

“Of course”. So you ordered some cauliflower soup, ate it whilst watching your comfort tv show and went back to cuddling with Luke on the couch.

“Are you feelin’ any better?”.

“Not really”, you sighed.

“I’ll kiss away the pain, baby”, he peppered light kisses to your cheek, jawline and lastly, your lips. You moved your lips against his, feeling some sort of guilty conscience.

“You do realize you have a chance of gettin’ sick too?”.

“Yes”, Luke looked at you with admiring eyes and a smile that could make even the coldest of hearts melt.

“You’re being reckless”, your voice was hoarse, and a giggle escaped your lips.

“I don’t mind bein’ reckless when it’s with you”, he kissed you again. And just like all of those times before, he was able to capture your heart with a single comment.

“Lemonade?”, he asked and reached for the glass on the coffee table. “Please”, you murmured. After finishing the glass of lemonade, Luke kindly placed it on the table. “Do you want anything else?”, he placed his arm around you. You shuffled closer to him and placed your head on the crook of Luke’s soft neck. “No, this is perfect”.

“Good”, he murmured and caressed your hair.

Luke adjusted the blankets covering your body and fixated his eyes on the tv. And so did you until your eyes couldn’t stay open anymore. So you dozed off again, with Luke softly humming next to you.

"We could leave the Christmas lights up ‘til January And this is our place, we make the rules And there’s a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you dear…"

—❦

You woke up again, this time to Luke’s phone ringing. With your eyebrows frowned, you looked at Luke. He mumbled a ‘sorry’ and gave a peck on your hairline. Carefully, he got up from the couch and exited the room. You reached out for your phone on the coffee table. You watched some TikToks on low volume whilst you were petting Petunia, who had been sleeping on the couch for the whole evening. The pupper snuggled closer to you and you placed the phone away, holding her in your arms.

“I see my place has been taken”, Luke entered the living room with an entertained smile plastered on his lips. “That’s what you get when you leave my side”, you pouted.

“Am sorry, baby. It was Michael. He needed an opinion on something. Work stuff. Boring. And he wished you a quick recovery”. You thanked him, and motioned Petunia to move. The dog hopped off lazily from the couch. 

“How’s the head?”.

“It’s okay. I am okay. I’mma go to bed”, you gave Luke a tired smile and stood up with the blankets hovering over your body. You began to walk, but your head started to feel dizzy. So you stopped in your tracks and Luke walked closer to you. 

“You don’t seem okay”, he stood in front of you and placed his hands against the sides of your face.

“Maybe I exaggerated”, you admitted. “Let’s get you to bed then”, he detached his hands, picked you up in his arms and carried you over to your shared bedroom. He dropped you to the side of the bed, lifting the comforter and you got under the covers. You mumbled him a ‘thank you’ and Luke answered with a sympathetic gaze. You studied him, the man of your dreams, and a thankful smile crept upon your face. He stripped off his day clothes, and shuffled next to you. Petunia came into the room with a grunt and waited for either Luke or you to pick her up. 

“Geez, Tunes, will you ever learn?” Luke chuckled, got up from the bed and bent down to pet the dog. He picked her up, and placed the pupper at the foot of the bed. Luke reclaimed his place next to you. “We need to get her the dog stairs”, you insinuated, to which Luke responded with a ‘definitely’. You snuggled into his chest and could feel his steady breathing on your face. He wrapped his arms around you, resting his chin against your head.

“How did I get so lucky with you?”, you hummed and could hear the tempting sound of the dreamworld calling you.

“I am the one who got lucky here, love”, Luke peppered tender kisses on your hair.

“I’ll take care of you if you get sick because of me”, you promised him.

“But what if you are still sick?”, he pecked your head, and tightened his embrace around you.

“Then we might be fucked”.

“Nah, we won’t be. At least we’d still have each other”, he pointed out. You smiled as you closed your eyes. Despite the burning head and sore throat, this was everything you wanted: Luke’s fingers running through your hair and Petunia snoring in the background all while you were falling asleep.

© 2023 bloodhoundluke.

[starleska]

i’ve got a british silly horror guy to recommend… the michael distortion from the magnus archives!!!! since it’s a podcast he doesn’t really have a visual design except for some descriptions but the fanart is wonderful!!!! ALSO HIS LAUGH?!?!

😳😳😳 oh. oh God hold ON a sec-!!!!!

screaming and gripping you by the collar. ooooh you are one of a NUMBER of people who have begged me to continue listening to The Magnus Archives, and now you've got me sorely tempted 🙈💖 i listened to a few episodes years ago and really enjoyed it, but i think with all the World Events Occurring it just slipped from my focus!!!

but wow, Michael is something else...😳 you know me well and have excellent taste 👉👈 i ADORE that his laugh somehow sounds like a spiral?! and the fanart for him is absolutely nuts, so so creative!! all those fan designs kick so much ass...as a Welcome to Night Vale veteran, it's a lot of fun being in a fandom with more room for creativity...you've very much piqued my interest, you bastard 😂😂 on the other side of that, i have a dear friend who insists to me i would rather like Simon Fairchild...took one listen to his voice and nearly got knocked out because of how similar he sounds to the Sixth Doctor 🙈💖💖💖 seems like The Magnus Archives is a great place to pick up blorbos, eh? i will definitely start listening again soon...and am always open to more suggestions from the podcast 😉 great ask, thanks so much!! :3c

[dabiscarpet]

Absolutely no one asked for this, but if it keeps running on my mind imma start blowing smoke through my ears

Scenario: Sukuna encounters reader that descends from his past lover/is their reincarnation. But reader is a teacher/school counselor at Jujutsu High, so things can get a little uncomfortable since he's in the body of a highschooler.

Warnings: none? is cursing even a warning?

for the most part, gn reader ^^ there's just one mention of reader being sukuna's queen

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

♡ Reader meets Yuji for the first time when he's training in his hidden base with gojo and the movies

♡ Reader is the school counselor for both Kyoto and Tokyo's hs, so they travel back and forth constantly

♡ When meeting yuji, they were asking many things, trying to have a normal conversation with the sunshine boy, until sukuna's mouth appears on yuji's cheek

♡ "Oi shut it brat. You're talking too much. And you over there, stop asking so many ques-"

♡ He stops dead on his tracks, the faint smell of something familiar hitting him like a thousand bricks on the back of his head

♡ A smirk forms on his only visible mouth while yuji complains about his rudeness but he pays no attention to it

♡ "Brat lets switch for a sec"

♡ "Like hell i will"

♡ "Come on, i just want to have a… private conversation with miss right here"

♡ "How do I know you won't slash them?"

♡ *Sigh* "because you wouldn't let me anyway? You're always switching places when I'm having the most fun"

♡Reader nods to yuji, intrigued by their interaction and what the king of curses might have to tell them.

♡ Distrustful still, yuji allows to change and is ready to jump back out again before sukuna tries smt fishy

♡ but is surprised when Sukuna just leans back on the couch, relaxing back with his arm across the backrest, smiling lazily

♡ Sukuna smells the air once again, and again, taking deep breaths of that familiar, sweet yet intoxicating scent that centuries ago, managed to bring him to his knees relax him from his king shit duties and struggles

♡ "Sooo…"

♡ "So you're the one… finally, after all this time"

♡ "Um sorry what? The one what? Who? What are yo-"

♡ "You seriously talk TOO much (he narrows his eyes)… just like back then"

♡ "Back when? The f are you talking about?" Getting heated and annoyed quickly with his puzzling statements by the second

♡ Sukuna's hand finds it's way under reader's chin, lifting their face up towards his as he leaned down to whisper

♡ "My queen back in my times"

♡ Just as lips were about to clash, a harsh slap hits him across the face, and yuji's cries eco the room, holding his now red face

♡ "What the fuck was that man? Now i got hit because of youuuu"

♡ "Itadori, that was completely unacceptable behaviour coming from as student to a teacher" they stood up from the couch, walking back

♡ "Wait nonononono I'm sorry, that wasn't me, i SWEAR-

♡ "Don't you dare equal me to this brat, human" the mouth on his cheek, with his powerful voice, spoke, freezing reader in their place with the authoritarian tone that laced his words

♡ "See? It was him i promise i was trying to stop hi-"

♡ "Yuji-kun… it's ok, i get it. I was just… surprised"

♡ "Well, you shouldn't be. You swore to remain mine until the end of times" Sukuna again took part

♡ "I am certain i have never made such an asseveration, let alone compromise-"

♡ "You reek of them, your scent is identical. Your face is an exact replica. You act just like them-"

♡ "Like who?!!!"

♡ "ANCESTORS NAME" (lmao idk be creative guys pls)

♡ Wide eyes and incredulous expression let him know he was absolutely right. Like hell he would ever be wrong anyway, specially regarding something, someone, that once (and forever) belonged to him

♡ "Huh? ANCESTORS NAME? Who is that, y/n- sensei?"

♡ "... My clan's ancestor"

♡ Needless to say that smug sukuna wouldn't leave yuji's cheek while reader was there, and would often make an appearance to be a nuisance anytime they were near after that.

[sendmyresignation]

if you wanna indulge me, id love to hear your opinions on sing (all of mine are detractory which i know isnt the complete view of the song)

omg id love too!! sorry this took me a sec to formulate post-work haha. i know we don't agree about sing but honestly that's the beauty of music opinions- I feel like it becomes easier to define what I like about things when faced with legit measured criticism anyway

for me, i want to start with the structure and instrumental since it's usually not mentioned (most of the criticisms of sing are exclusively lyrical or intention-focused). it's so cool. and evocative. and full of tension!! my favorite use of synth on danger days, plus the keys and the drums (man i love the dd studio musician drums lmao), really emphasizes sing as a suspended moment both in the album (necessary bridge, tonally, between bulletproof and planetary imo) and in the track itself- its alllll building up to that bridge and final chorus. but there's all these little pieces- the backing vocals, there's so many hidden guitar parts that riff just under all the noise, that opening like, tambourine. sorry for not having a quote on hand but Ray's said he really loved writing sing and it's so totally obvious to me. especially live- part of the reason I was soooooo excited for sing swarm tour edition is that even during dd ray was like absolutely shredding for sing after the bridge. and everytime time it's so good. part of the reason the lyrics don't bother me is sing could stand alone instrumentally and I'd still want to listen to it. (sing also reminds me of Ray's solo music- the sentiment is more significant that the lyrics and the music is itself a vehicle for storytelling)

also though, i think there's a lot of intention with sing (it's up to the listener to determine if that paid off obv) but within the context of dd the record as a pirate radio station, sing has always read as a trojan horse song. making it a single too, like once a song takes on a life of its own outside the record there's new meaning and circumstance. so both within and outside the killjoy universe sing is a vehicle for not just the bridge but the overall sentiment of dd (how fucking excited was gerard when glenn beck took the glee bait) like, yes, i do agree they could've benefited from another pass over the lyrics (i will always defend keeping "sing it till your nuts" bc its sounds like sing it to your nuts though) but I don't personally get the criticism that sing isn't "specific enough" about what exactly it's against or is too optimistic about "sing it for the world"-- i think there are songs on the album (notably planetary right after it!) which do that job just fine. dd is gerard in arguably top lyrical form so theres a lot of meat in the rest of the record like. sing it for the world is a purposely simplistic art is the weapon. like those are the same sentiments rendered very differently!

also like. i do think there was a very directed target at the younger part of their fan base here (girl/boy) which is sweet. to me. like i did hear sing first when i was a young teen (one of the few dd songs i was familiar with) and it did feel huge and empowering at that moment. my chem are their best when they are navigating the dualities of their specific fame, which includes simultaneously making very serious, adult rock music which is concerned with violence death grief and sex, as well as being a role model for younger people and taking them seriously and neither of these are in rhetorical conflict with each other. so like whatever sing is a little juvenile. but it's still filled with passion! taken as a legitimate project with a creative instrumental and a narratively-driven music video. I like that aspect, it works for me. I'll never call it my favorite my chem song but its certainly not the worst when you add in the bridge (i wanted to prove my point without the bridge but like. damn!! it's a good bridge!!!). that's my spiel.

[whattheshock]

⭐️ STAR TREATMENT (miguel o'hara band au)

summary: you're trying your best to adjust to being a band manager, but miguel's not making it easy... wc: 929 cw: use of y/n, mentions of alcohol/drinking, miguel is still an ass

⋆part 2⋆ masterlist

after a couple weeks & a couple dozen hours of research, you were finally getting into the groove of being a band manager. the sounds of spider sense's newest song filled the rehearsal studio.

"stop, stop, stop..." dean suddenly said, the music slowly coming to a halt. "miguel, you're like 2 whole seconds ahead of everyone else, we can't play right if you're off."

"maybe you're the one that's off, dumbass, you ever think about that, huh?" miguel snapped back.

"actually..." you spoke up. "you were a little ahead, everyone else was on beat."

"cállate, this isn't your place-"

"but it is my place..." you said. "as your manager, i'm supposed to keep things running smoothly, & you're not exactly helping."

he grunted as he got up from behind his drums, approaching you & making you back up against the wall, his tall figure looming over you. "you wanna say that again?" he growled, looking down at you intensely, his eyes almost glowing bright red.

you stood your ground, staring back up at him with a gaze just as intense as his. it was hard to focus, hearing his heavy breathing, feeling not only his eyes on you, but the rest of the band's, but you refused to look away.

he finally gave in, breaking away & walking towards the door. "i need a sec," he said as he left the studio.

"alright, everyone take 5..." caleb said before walking over to you. "hey, are you okay?"

"yeah, i'm fine."

"dude... how the hell did you do that?"

"do what?"

he scoffed. "'do what?' you stood up to miguel! i'm nowhere near brave enough to do that."

you laughed a bit. "i don't know how i did it, either. it's just... i don't don't know what his problem is."

"me neither... look, [y/n], just ignore him, you're doing an amazing job as our manager & he's only gonna get in the way."

"alright, thank you, caleb," you said as you gave him a hug.

"no worries, everything will be alright..."

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

the band had another gig tonight, & you were supposed to arrive an hour before. you rushed through the doors that lead backstage. "sorry i'm so late!" you said, but it didn't seem to be too much of a problem, finding the members just hanging out, dean just finishing tuning up. "um, miguel, what do you think you're doing?"

"what?" he asked, taking a sip of his drink.

you walked up to him as he was sprawled out on the couch. "you have a show in 30 minutes... look, i know we're in a bar & everyone else is drinking but that doesn't mean you should be..." you scolded as you crossed your arms.

"so who you gonna call? the martini police?" he said in a sarcastic tone as he took another sip.

"c'mon, man..." dean said as he grabbed the drink away from his hand. miguel scoffed & put his hands up in defense, before starting to leave the room. "you better not be getting another fuckin' drink, mate..."

"i'm not, i'm not..." miguel insisted in an annoyed tone before leaving the room.

thankfully, miguel wasn't too drunk to perform, & they had another successful show. you walked on stage to congratulate them after they finished their set, hugging each of the members, except miguel, obviously, you figured it was best to steer clear of him.

"excuse me," a voice said, you turned around to see a short man in a button up shirt. "i'm rich webb of webb records, i've heard a great deal about your band... are you their manager?" he asked you.

holy shit. "um, yes sir, i'm [y/n] [l/n], nice to meet you..." you said as you shook his hand.

"oh, the pleasure is all mine..." he said with a smile. "all the amazing things i've heard about all of you are true... the way your music sounds so classic yet so unique, a creative blend of so many rock subgenres with genius lyrics, it's unbelievable! they way you use your musical talents to bring out the best in each other's sounds, & the way your personalities are so different yet blend so well together creates such an incredible stage presence, this truly was one of the best shows i've seen in awhile."

"really? you liked it that much?" caleb asked, you could practically see sparkles in his eyes.

"yes... in fact, i liked it so much, i want to offer you a record deal..." all of your mouths fell open. "i'd like to work on recording an album & maybe setting up a tour, i've seen you have quite the fan base across the country for a band who just plays small gigs... but you have serious potential, you guys are going places... so, whaddya say?"

"are you kidding? of course we're accepting!" caleb exclaimed, going up to rich & hugging him for a second before quickly letting go. "sorry, got too excited..."

"it's fine... so we'll be meeting again so to discuss details & work out a contract, we can schedule that soon, here's my card." rich said as he handed you his business card.

"thank you so much, sir, i'll look at my schedule so we can meet as soon as possible..." you said as you shook his hand again.

"perfect, i'll see you soon," he said as he waved back at us before leaving. after he left, we all turned to each other with wide eyes.

"boys, we're goin' on tour!" caleb announced & i smiled, i couldn't be happier.

an: hi again, tysm for reading part 2 of star treatment! if any of y'all know the song this fic's named after, u prob caught the lyric ref teehee 🤭 also, idk much about band managers/record execs so i was just googling shit & it's prob not 100% accurate... lmk if u have any questions (my inbox is always open!) or wanna be tagged in new chapters! reblogs r greatly appreciated :)

credit to @benkeibear for the dividers

part 3 out now!!

[crazylittlejester]

Been thinking about my Royal Depths au lately. the one with the kid Ganon. I will draw the au again probably within the next two months lamo.

Anyways, since I’ve been thinking about that au, I also remembered that one ask I sent you, where I asked what art style you would like to see a loz game have. Combining these two idea, I’ve got another question for you:

What would you like a new LoZ game/story to be about? Like, in RD I made the main character Ravio and had a itty bitty Ganon as one of his party members. What would your LoZ game be about? Would it be a sequel of sorts to another game, or just have some calls backs to another game(like maybe hw who knows 😏)? Would Link be the main character, or would it be a different character like Zelda(like with eow), or maybe a new character that would have an interesting perspective on the LoZ world(like idk a zora or fairy)?

Anyways uh. You’re creative and I like seeing your ideas. You could picture the game to look like the game art style you said earlier(I think it was an Alice in Wonderland type game? Idk it also kinda reminded me of Don’t Starve, art style wise if that rings any bells), if that makes things easier. Idk, with EoW around the corner I’ve been pondering about new LoZ stories like a mad man.

Hope all of this made sense, and have a great rest of your day!

I took a sec to answer this because I have SERIOUS thoughts about it and wanted to make sure i’d have the time to write it all out alskdkddk

i mentioned this about a month ago, and i would absolutely love to write this in fic form one day, and i plan to, it will just take me a LONG time but this is the storyline I would give a Zelda game if I had the power to make one:

I think of “Zelda” as a middle name of sorts, I think each princess has her own first name, but the first daughter of the royal family has that as a middle time and will end up going by that. The protagonist of this game? The eldest daughter of the royal family, and she cannot for the life of her figure out how to get those powers Hylia should’ve gifted her. Ganondorf is becoming more and more of a threat every day, and there’s nothing she can do about it except make sure he can’t get his hands on the triforce, which she’s just barely accomplishing. She thinks it her duty to be out there on the front lines getting shit done because if she can’t do the one thing she’s supposed to (unlock her powers) you best believe she’s out there with a sword kicking ass. She’s also trying to find Link because if the world is ending then there HAS to be a hero, but she literally find him and is getting really frustrated

I would give Ganon a much more compelling story. He’s not born evil, he’s born with as much capacity for good as anyone else, but due to the events of his childhood he becomes something terrible. No matter what he did everyone looked at him like he was going to be awful. They treated him poorly, nothing he could do was right in the eyes of ANYONE. He WANTED to break the cycle, but he couldn’t so to get everyone to just stop and leave him alone he’s seeking total control over everything because in his mind he’ll feel like he can breathe if he does

Now where the fuck is Link you may be asking? Well I firmly believe Hylia is a bit of a gatekeeper (/j) and will only give her magic to the eldest DAUGHTER in her bloodline. No man gets her powers, no thank you. So when the protagonist’s little sister, out of pure panic and desperation, makes an attempt to stop Ganon from destroying Hyrule Castle and her powers roar to life, the three main characters all stop and stare at each other for a minute because what the hell how did the younger sibling do that??

It is at this point the oldest ‘daughter’ realizes officially even Hylia knew he was trans before he did (he’d had his suspicions but this whole thing just confirmed it for him), and he hauls ass to get the Master Sword because with his little sister’s goddess given powers revealed he realizes HIS place in this whole hot mess, he’s Hylia’s HERO not her DAUGHTER, and he and the new Zelda use the power of supportive gay siblings to bonk Ganon over the head hard enough he just factory resets

And then they have group therapy /hj

So yeah, the REAL quest to find Link was the gender journey we had along the way

[merriway]

Do you have any tips for how you developed your style? I want it to be like yours :3

OH my style has been developed over the course of many years through many different inspirations. I dont really have a name for it either per your other ask its more just like a hodge podge of all my favorite things. I can list some of my prominent inspirations for you to look up as well as list some of the things I focus on when arting!

For inspiration I'd have to go back to elementary school and say that my first creative inspo was probably the Nightmare before Christmas. I think that really encouraged a love of weird and whacky shapes in character design. Anime was obviously also a huge inspo and I love a lot of retro anime from the 80s/90s. Ranma, Moomins, Add in some PS1-PS2 era platformer mascots like sonic, spyro, crash, and klonoa. If we're talking video games too i gotta bring up pokemon cause thats been my obsession since the games first came out. From highschool through college I really studied a lot of art from classic disney and I'd say one of my favorite book series is "They drew as they pleased' I think studying that gave me a love for gesture drawing and acting. I think there was the show Wakfu which had a lot of art from Gobi and Bill Otomo and I loved how they pushed shapes in their character design. Takashi Nakamaru is a big inspo for me in how he stylizes and animates. He has such a level of volume and weight that what he animates feels so real but his style feels so cartoony and whimsical. Yuasa Masaaki headed one of my favorite anime, Kaiba. Which had a very stylized toony look but held a lot of darker heart wrenching themes. I really love cute/fun aesthetics mixed with heavier topics. Yoh Yoshinari is another major artist I reference a lot. Hes a major hitter at Trigger and I love the way he has blended both western and anime styles together. Also his extreme poses are so fun. I particularly love his book of sketches he did of Osamu Tezuka characters. Very toony but animated stuff. There is probably a lot more but I would say thats a erally good starting place to know where Im coming from. As for how I approach drawing. I will echo this as long as I live but gesture drawing gesture drawing gesture drawing. I took several life drawing classes in college and my favorite thing was to do short timed drawings of people and animals. There are so many videos for free on youtube about the Line of Action, about how to start gesture drawing as well as so many resources to find models/reference to draw from. Do 5 second gesture drawings where you can only get like three lines on the page, that helps you to focus most on the feeling and energy of a pose. Then 30 sec, 1 min, etc See how people do life drawing too. I really like Heinrich Kley and he was a huge inspo for many of the classic disney artists. You keep practicing that and it'll start to show up in your more stylized work. When you learn how to twist and bend shapes it starts to show in your personal art. For my personal art I tend to have a lot of mood boards, pinterest boards with artists I like and work that inspires me. I sometimes just spend 15min-30min looking at my favorite art, injecting the things I like about them into my brain and getting hyped to draw! Draw all sorts of styles, all sorts of things! Experiment with a variety of styles and eventually you'll start to create your own signature look. And dont be afraid to make a bad drawing!! I made so many! I drew on notes in class, on napkins, on post it notes, you name it. Just doodle and sketch bad things then try to figure out how to fix them through reference and learning. But remember to just stop and think about what you want! For example, what do you like about my art? is it the posing the shapes, the energy? Think about those things. Take a moment to ask yourself questions like 'what am I going for?" "why?" I think having a motivation, a drive, or something similar to that helps you want to draw and not get caught up with social media and trying to compete with your peers. Overall enjoy the journey! You're your own unique person and all your own personal experiences can feed into your work in a way others may not! And good luck with drawing, I hope it stays fun for you!!

[popculturebuffet]

Monthly Muppet Madness: Muppets Mayhem

Hello all you happy muppets. For those of you new to this feature, i'm jake I review stuff and once a month I tackle all things muppets, from the troupe themselves to the various hensony spinoffs from Jim Henson and later Henson Workshop. If it has a muppet or something close to a muppet in it, it can go here. This marks a very special occasion for this feature as Muppets Mayhem is the first new Muppet project since I started doing this last march. It's also one I was entirely pumped for not just because I'd get to cover it whenever it dropped, but also for starring the electric mayhem, characters i've always liked and felt could front their own series.

It's also exciting as this is the first time in nearly a decade Disney has done a major muppets production. After the underperformance of Muppets Most Wanted and the quick cancelation of their sitcom, Disney has less cherished the muppets as anyone should and more.. trotted them out once every few years to do something with the property while not actually carring enough to do a new film or tv series and blaming the property itself for the fincial failures of Muppets Most Wanted and The Muppets... and not the fact the former was simply released against a pretty stacked theater and had a very diffrent (if still wonderful) tone from it's beloved predecessor, while the latter had a troubled production and while far from perfect had some good stuff in it.

Disney took a few setbacks as a sign that the muppets were done.. instead of a sign that maybe they just needed a new direction. Steve Whitmire's firing due to his increasing ego and Matt Vogel's rough go when he started as Kermit (not helped by not having the traning period whitmire did), really didn't help, but Disney didn't have a huge excuse. The Muppet Babies reboot happened and having watched some with my toddler nephew recently, it was pretty good, but as far as big mainstream attempts at reinviorating the muppets , Disney really didn't seem to give one iota of a shit and trotted them out for smaller projects like Muppets Now or the Muppets Haunted Mansion.

Disney Fucking up really isn't a suprise, especially given their recent debacle of removing a lot of disney+ shows including the muppet based earth to ned, which i'll be covering in july because fuck this decision entirely.

My point is, besides Disney can go eat a shoe sometimes, is that the Muppets really needed a full blown shot again and to try something new, something they'd adapted to. And Mayhem, for all it's faults.. is a good test of that: deciding to focus not on the core quartet of Kermit, Piggy, Gonzo and Fozzie, but on the wacky hippies on the side. It's honestly a brilliant idea to step away from the core cast for a sec and simply see if the various other weridos int he troupe could carry a story on their own. And Electric Mayhem are custom built for this test run: they provide an ensemble, so they don't have to explain why this set of muppets are off on their own adventure, one of their number is still one of THE most recognizable muppets, meaning they still get name recongition, and it leaves the creative team with a bunch of characters who while not BLANK slates, are still not as fleshed out enough to really get into.

So is this a great new direction for the muppets that will lead into a shared muppets universe as showrunner Adam F Goldberg hopes for.. or another horrible setback at a time when it's the last thing the muppets need? Hop in the van, and cruise with me under the cut as we find out.

So before we can get into the Mayhem themselves, let's get into the man

Let Me Take Your Picture, Add It to the Mixture. The genisis of this series is simple but fascinating: So in 2016. Bill Baretta, longtime muppet performer and the hand behind Dr. Teeth, was naturally there when the Mayhem did a set at the Outside LImits Music and Arts Festival. Baretta was stunned by the massive crowd.. and got to thinking, wondering just who these guys were outside of it and decided to start developing a series on the idea.

In true muppets fashion though.. he wasn't the only person to have the idea, as around the same time, Adam F. Goldberg's friend, editor Jeff Yorkes, cut him a sizzle real to sell him on the same idea. For those less familiar wtih him, Adam F. Goldberg was the creator of the long running 80's set sitcom the Goldbergs, and as happens often once he left the show hit it's seasonal rot HARD.

How both sides came together is unknown, my best guess being Disney realized they had two similar and awesome pitches for a show with the same concept in an IP they were barely using, so simply got the three together, the three gelling as they all had the same basic vision and simply used parts from both pitches to create the final show, with the same basic core of taking these obscure hippiees and fleshing them out. Part of the appeal for Goldberg, and something I strongly agree with is while the characters were known, there was just little enough known about who they were as people to give them wiggle room to develop.

And you can see a lot of The Goldbergs in Muppets Mayhem: it follows a cartoonish mildly disfunctional family, has schemes by one of the character whose a control freak usually cause the conlfict, and usually ends in a character developing button. And this could've been a disaster.. but the style does fit the muppets really well. The Mayhem are a family of choice, Nora works well in the beverley roll, more on her later, and while it has a bit of a formula to it, the episodes are still flexbile so that while most of the story is focused on the main plot of the band making an album, it uses it in a lot of creative ways: we see the band deal with electronic producing, accidently piss off every fan army on the globe, go for a marshmellow hallucination in the desert, save dr. teeth from his overbearing parents, do a documentary with Silent Bob, meet cheech and chong, paint danny trejo's house, nearly fall off a cliff and somehow record an album. Despite it's short run time the season goes a lot of intresting places and manages to expand the characters. It's clear while Goldberg has a style to his work that will likely carry to any future productions it doesn't really hamper a muppet production, and his , yorkes and of course baretta's clear love for the characters shows in tons of carefully picked archive footage and little continuity nods, from the mallory gallery to what have. you. There's even tiny bits of canon welding, with the band both apparently having beef with the river bottom nightmare band.. and having met the feebles.. which is now muppets canon. I didn't think anyone could top James Gunn making gobots canon to the mcu, but clearly I underestimated. The background does have it's drawbacks though: It's clear none of the three involved have really done a stremaing series , and as such ther'es a lot of little network watermarks, like uncessary cast photos and act breaks, sprinnkled throughout, things not really needed in a streaming series. There's also some bigger problems with the human cast but we'll save that for later. By now your all probably wondering what's this series even about? Okay most of you have probably binged the whole thing especially given how late after the series this is comign out. but bear with me

Use it If You Need It, Don't Forget To Feed It

The plot kicks off with the Band away from the rest of the muppets for a change, in the middle of a tour that's been going for the last 40 years ever since their Debut on the muppet show. It's a nice joke.. and also one that works well as given how loosey goosey the Mayhem are with anything resembling a plan, it makes sense they'd consider hanging out in a house with everyone else or working on miss piggy's show as her house band just part of a tour. It also points to another reason the Mayhem were a very easy fit to have their own show: it's not hard to explain why their not with everyone else. While chunks of the troupe have moonlighted, Bobo was an evil sidekick, Sam a government agent, as needed for the plot, with the Mayhem being musicians and party members them simply wondering off for a while makes sense. Kermit is probably so used to it he has a backup band on standby.

Enter Nora Singh, played by Lily Singh, youtuber i'm not familiar with turned failed talk show host and now turned actress, a struggling assitant for Waxtown Records, once the height of the industry now about to close because it's head Penny wants to retire and is convinced the place is dead. While there are sadly no muppet skeletons this time, Penny herself IS a muppet, something I was glad ot hear: given this series only really has the Mayhem and two guest characters otherwise, I assumed Penny would be a human when I first heard about the character and the reveal in the first episode was all too welcome. She's played by Leslie Carrara-Rudolph, best known muppet wise as Abby Kadabby over on seasame street, which should tell you just how deep her range is. With Penny planning to shut down she has Nora shred all their old documents.. and it's there she gets her shot, as not only was Waxtown Electric Mayhem's label.. but their infamous in universe for never having done an album. It's also a nice bit of metatext as while they've done a decent amount of music, until there hadn't been a real life electic mayhem album, such a slam dunk marketing wise it's weird they never did it. As for why not in universe it's simple: They thought they had and simply forgot to. As the series establishes, and fits perfectly with what little we knew about them, they just sorta move from one thing to another on a whim, agree to most things. Their friendly and upbeat.. but getting them to actually stay on task is a challenge, something I deeply relate to as this coming out almost 20 days after the show came out can attest to. Even once that's in hand Nora still has a season's worth of problems both the bands and her own, as her sense of what a band needs to be to be profitable clashes with what the band is. Since the band is too nice to course correct her most of the time, a lot of this is left to Moog, the band's number one fan. Moog is played by former child star Taj Moowry and serves as the bridge between the band and nora: as their fan, he can explain a lot of intricacises about the band to our heroine and us in the audience, while also having a better grasp on who they are. If you've gussed a large chunk of the series is Nora ignoring Moog's entirely sound advice about how the band works, your right and it's only kept from being too tiring because we usually move on to the band doing something funny and Mowry's impressive comedic timing.

When not being her own worst enemy Nora has to deal with her more succesful sister Haanah Singh (Saara Chaundry), and her obnoxious wallpaper of an ex boyfriend JJ, who is trying to buy the record company and succeding at trying my patience every time he's on screen despite Anders Holm's best effort. The Mayhem, Hannah and Moog included over time, have to deal with all this and more, from their own personal demons, to trying to update the sound, to documentaries to Dr. Teeth's parents to the most amecae band breakup in history to Janice accidently starting a cult it's a long strange journey.. and now we have context for that journey we can dive into the meat of it: the muppets and all too many live action people and the plentifu and welcome cameos. Everybody's Lover, Everybody's Brother, I Wanna Be Your LIfetime Friend:

Now we've got context for them we can stage dive into our moshpit of a cast... and who better to start with than our headliners. The Electric Mayhem are awesome as hoped. The series was always going to live or die on if these 6 weirdos could be fleshed out enoguh comedically and emotoinally to carry a whole series, possibly whole seasons. While the series has other characters and almost all of them contribute to the story in some needed way, it was always going to be about these 6 weirdos and getting to know them better. The series really lets you get them to know them as much as a group as people. While they always had an air of being peace loving accepting hippie folk, the series simply takes that basic and gives them a fully fleshed out identity as a group and as people. In this case the Mayhem are accepting, warmly welcoming anyone to work with them, and gladly up to try anything wether it be edm or playing a concert in minecraft. It may not work but they'll at least try it. It also shows they , like many a muppet, are incredibly unfocused, running off to do a party or what have you when they get distracted. They can rock well together, but it takes some outside force to wrangle them. It's telling only Nora, who NEEDS this job tow ork and Kermit, whose simply used to doing this kind of shit with every singl eperson he works with bar scooter, are the only ones who've actually succeeded at getting them on task. And Nora often stumbles simply because of the size of the task. Not everyone is Kermit levels of able to take this and i'm pretty sure he's on like 9 types of anxiety medication with them only SLIGHTLY working.

What makes them work is their kindness: the only time they really get mad is when Nora , trying to fake it till she makes it, lies a bunch and triggers Janice's lie allergy. How she hasn't died with all the lies FOzzy and Sam tell themselves just to function is a mystery, but it's a neat enough bit. Only putting one of their own in the hosptial pisses them off and even then once Nora pours her heart out to the band and genuinely apologizes, they quickly forgive her. It's their endless optimism that drives the series, Nora's own development, and makes the series shine despite it's faults; Just a group of people who love those around them, will help anyone without a care and will genuinely not worry.

The last part holds them back. The only time they really fight with each other is episode 7, and for understandable reasons; Floyd is upset to find out a song he thought as he and janices was about how she loves the world, which is mildly dickish but understandable when you find someone you loved and assumed you were in a realtionship with dosen't seem to care at all back, while the band as a whole aren't happy Dr. Teeth took Penny, his girlfriend at the time's , suggestion to name the band after him. It's also telling that not only did Teeth never consider himself front man despite this, but once he realizes it's an actual problem, agrees to change it to just the electric mayhem. These guys.. are family. 6 very diffrent people who found each other somehow and who will gladly welcome anyone else in. While nora takes a while to bond with her new friends and soon surrogate family, they all welcome her from minute one and when Nora ends up homeless thanks to a spat with her sister, they welcome her in. When Moog dosen't understand why he's invited on tour at the end, as while he's become the album's producer, he assumes he'll just be following them as usual, they explain as if it was the most natural thing he's part of the band now. These are kind, loving, warm protaganists who simply live to play musuic, spread good vibes. It takes the good ideas of the 60's peace movement and applies them to today: simply show kindness, welcome people in as family wether your blood related or not, rock out, and do your best. That's all you can ask. I never thought i'd be deeply moved by the electric mayhem, but i'm glad I was. While the band is still mostly a unti, each one still gets fleshed out more. Three of them get full on origin storis Animal get shis first and it's truly touching and fleshes out how Floyd is always taking care of him. What was once more just a weird sort of friendship/beast taming, becomes a father and son, a development I utterly love: As it turns out whatever stygian being birthed animal left him on Floyd's doorstep with a note to KEEP, and Floyd being a kind, welcoming sort, gladly took in the small child and made him his son and adopted him with his commonlaw husband and wife. It also shows that while everyone's worried when Animal, thinking a joke about him being replaced by a drum machine is real, quits, Floyd is devistated and badly just wants his son back.

He may be a loved part of the mayhem and a treasured family member.. but he's Floyd's kid. It's why he's spent years helping him blend with others and keeping him form eating furintirue and why Animal ultimately comes back despite being a great hibachi chef. Floyd also gets some minor spotlight in Dr. Teeth's spotlight episode: when Teeth's domeneering mom and agreeable to said mom dad show up to drag him back for the 80th time we find out Teeth was a meek dental student content to follow his mom.. but meeting Floyd in a music store and then many other times because destiny ships these two as hard as I do, Teeth realizes what makes him actually happy and while he makes his grampy's floss case into a tooth, he ultimately becomes the rock god we know. And while Floyd does have at hing for Janice, the series still makes his and Dr. Teeth's orgiin story as gay as possible in the best way possible, with it being one long allegory for one person awakening anothe'rs sexuality, down to the disaproving parents. The fact the mayhem come off like they'd be very fond of open relationships makes neither this nor Teeth's actual love intrest in the series a problem. While the whole "son has parents who want to shove him into a career" is all too common a story trope.. and a thing that really happens in real life, it works well enough here as Teeth was never in a ton of danger of actually going with them, only breifly doing it when Nora interupts his normal process for this. It's stil lhealthier he finally made amends with his parents, but it works. The more compelling bit of his backstory, beisdes all the shipping in the previous bit, is Penny. Teeth broke her heart leaving a while ago and while they quickly get back together, and we sadly just as quickly find out he has a foot thing... and we see them playing this little piggy on screen

Look am I kink shaming dr. teeth? No. What they want to do to each other is their buisness and the relationship is oddly adorable outside of this scar to my brainpan. But do I want to see a muppets gross foot while Dr. Teeth implies he's going to do sex things to it? No. I'm sure even some foot fetishests would agree. The Dalmationatrix in the happy time murders was less overtly sexual. And also way hotter, but that may be a me thing and may make my point as i'm sure many of you shuddered a bit at that statment. Point is please no more stuff like this adam f goldberg. Implied muppet sex is fine, just don't show us muppet feet. Please no. No feet pics.

I was.. talking about something. Oh yeah. The problem is Teeth left her abrubtly earlier, and he find sout during the groups' marshmellow drug trip in the dessert it's because he has commitment issues, likely DUE to said parents. Penny isn't mad he coudlnt' commit forever, just that he couldn't FOR NOW. , and Teeth realizes this just isn't healthy, not only unblocking him writers wise, but letting him be open with their relationship, which not only gets Penny off the groups back, but onto his and OH GOD....

Okay for my sanity we're moving on to Janice. We get to see more of Janice's empathetic side: while she's still as fursurely as ever, we get to see she loves trying to help other people.. and much like Steven Universe, while this isn't a bad thing on the surface, it also means she never helps herself, something only her hallucination clone can get her to realize. It is nice to see her be so supportive, realize she needs self care, and generally get to be more than just "one of the only other female muppets" and "space case". She also forms a cult when the band gets addicted to the internet. This isn't a plot twist I saw coming but is it the best thing in human history? Probably. Fursurelian for life. Hopefully I will be spared when it happens. Animals as pointed out gets his backstory, and while he has a crush on NOra very early on, he later realizes it's because they both lost parents and becomes more protective. It's adorable. Animal dosen't change much but it makes sense: Out of the mayhem Animal was easily the most used and the one who could easily show up on his own for gags. Animal is often thrown in with the core four and has shown up in just about every muppet production. He's an icon for good reason: his simple antics and shouty performance just make him loveable as all hell. This series further highlights this by making him the mayhem's youngest, esspetainlly being a hyperactive 20 something. It also posititons hima s the heart of the gorup: they can't bring themselves to play when he leaves for an episode and their breakup to make tension for the climax mostly happens because he's too exausted from his side gig to stop it, and once he wakes up and finds noras gone missing he's the one to bring everyone back together. He's the core of the group: he may be the most popular but he wouldn't be without them. They need him and he would never leave them.

Finally we have Zoot and LIps. Zoot is the blue one and Lips is the one with an afro who I frequently forget is in the band because he disappears a lot. Zoot.. really isn't fleshed out that much. He takes photos and he's forgetful. They add nothing to him. He's easily the weakest character here. He does hang out with an anthromoprhic shoe, so there's that at least. In contrast Lips goes from being often wallpaper only there when needed, to quitely one of the best parts of the show. His gags now are that he's unitellgible and despite that has a LENGTHY and epic history. He's the one who convinced Kesha to drop the $.. which also implies he helped her breka free from dr. lukes' abuse. Zoot's a good one. He's also friends with Paul Mcartney and Paula Abdul among many others. It's just a nice gag and he's geninely fun and it's used in moderation enough to not wreck the show. So the band is solid as ever. The human characters.. are a bit more hit and miss. Starting with Nora, Lily Singh does her best, and she does have a nice energy that plays off the muppets well. She's trying very hard and i'd love to see her in another production as she has clear talent. The issue really isn't her.. it's the script. Nora is written however the episode needs her:, and thus is pulled between uptight nerd whose mildly out of touch with music, hence a running gag where she sees the lyrics of rock and roll all night "and part of every day".

Other times she has a deep love of rock, having a bob marely tatoo, well knows the modern scene, and her issues come more from simply not working with what she has in the band, of trying to make them what she THINKS will sell instead of what they are, which is a metaphor for how disney has treated the muppets and many ips at time if ever there was one. The latter just works better, and it's when it dips too far into one end or the other of her being uptight or into rock where it falters and singh can often come off stiff.. because I supsect she really dosen't know what this character feels. If the writers don't know who nora is how can the audience or the person playing her? Nora is supposed to be a major pillar of the series.. but the writers refusal to give her depth despite trying to plaster it on with her having had to raise her sister or her type a personality means the character flails next to the better defined muppets. It also dosen't help her most major human costar.. is given a more consitent and intresting character. Moog is easily the highlight of the show shuman caast, with Taj Mowry given way more to work with. Moog's character isn't super deep, but has just enough depth to work well: he intitially comes off as simply a fanboy, constantly asking Nora to look at his demo like any struggling musician.. but as the episodes go on we get to know him better. We see like any good fan the band mean a ton to him and his friendship with them is genuine: while he's a massive fan of theirs, they treat him with respect like they woudl anyone, gladly bond with him and are thankful he's there for him. IN turn he gets the band in a way Nora dosen't and part of her best moments is having him as contrast: he tells her very early on she simply dosen't have to posture because the band are the most acepting people. His best stuff comes in episode 5: while nora desperatelyt ries to get the band to make a "new sound", he gets angry.. but it's not fan entitlmeent as Nora thinks.. but because he's taken the time to actually listen. He get stheir sound and when nora finally listens to his demo.. she realizes, eventually at least, that his sound actually bridges their 70 vibes to modern production. He has real talent, and a real love for the band. We also get what I feel is one of the best seens for singh as a result: nora pouring over old footage as she goes from someone simply seeing the band as her next step.. to being a mayhead herself and knowing how to finally help them to their best. The show needed more of this, having nora as a symbol of a coprrate present.. and shedding that to be more herself, someone who really knows music and opens up.

Moog does take a hard nosedive in the last few episodes though. It starts to peak through when he gets jealous of Nora's ex jj and tricks him into bringing up the name thing, nearly breaking up the band.. but in the last two it really gets bad. Instead of telling Nora how he feels.. .he sulks in the background as she gets back together with human carpet, then blames her for the band's breakup because... she told them what the internet was. Which is something most acts need to know. They breakup because they all get hooked on various internet based things and because the writers forgot to write an actual reason for conflict and had to make something up fast. The romance with him and nora genuinely isn't bad at first: he has a crush on her, btu refuses to act on it because he needs this gig and she needs this to go well. It's when they make it love triangle stuff and turn him into a mopey dickhead who almost dosen't try to get the band back together till she apologzes, a band full of people who GENUINELY love him and see him as one of them that he genuinely loves and worships. Mowry does his best but like with singh when the material isn't great.. what can he honestly do. If behaviors bad enough an actor can make it hilarous or add a smuch depth as they can. But when all your given is a big spoonful of cliche, you can only do so much. i've hinted at the human embodiment of the color beige enough, let's talk about JJ. JJ is a character I think the right actor could've hammed up enough to be tolerable. Anders Holm by contrast is a guy who tends to paly his roless subtler. As such former bagle boy for waxtown and now rich tech bro is just... annoyingly bland. He shows up to try and buy wax town to win Nora back and just kinda shows up. He adds nothing to the plot. And look i'm someone who tries to not go too hard on actors in these reviews... but you could see the but coming from a mile away couldn't you? Anders Holm.. is awful in this. He tries, he does, but he's horribly cast. JJ needed someone with enough energy to make the bad writing on the character passible, someone who can really nail the "tech bro whose secretly just trying to be one because it's the kind of guy his ex wanted" charcter. Instead he's just the bland romantic false lead from every 90's film and romcom. Singh sometimes has weak material but does her best with it and that I can admire but Holm, even acounting for his character being supleforous at best is just so agressively bland it adds nothing.

What's extra annoying is that Ben Schwartz, who is an EXPERT at playing people with huge egos in suits, it's how his career started.

Is instead left to just one episode working as Animal's job counsler. He's brilliant at it, deadpanning perfectly to Animal.. which begs the question why he wasn't given the part: At the time of this writing he isn't a regular on any live action or animated shows, he's experinced at the part and that small cameo showed he can play really well off the muppet JJ ends up interacting with the most. The result is a character who just sucks all the energy out when he's around. He's ONLY there for a very pointless love triangle no one asked for that goes EXACTLY how you'd expect with no varations toit. The idea they present in episode 7, that JJ became what he is to impress her is intresting.. but they do nothing with it and he spends the whole series as this bland cypher. You question why Nora's remotely intrested beyond "because the plot says she should be", and she suddenly moves back in with him. And he then easily blows it beause he dosen't understand why maybe the person whose dad died and mom impliclty abandoned her would bond with a band whose family. JJ just sucks, and he ends up making Moog suck as Moog spends the last two episodes moping and whining because Nora dosen't like him back when he NEVER TOLD HER. He did for good reason, this is his one shot and opportunity comes once in a life time, but it soon devolves into crap. It's the one part I genuinely hate about the series. Finally human wise we have Nora's sister, Hannah. Hannah is a character that didn't need to be in nearly as much of the series as she did. She's not bad, Saara does a decent enough job and unlike JJ the characters layers are explored well: Hannah took her sister in and let her stay on her couch.. but gets annoyed that her relationship with Nora has turned into all take and no give: Nora brings up raising Hannah after their father died and mother impliclty abandoned them a lot, and tends to put her wants over Hannah's, and is not so subtly jealous Hannah has easily reached what she wants in life, fame as an influencer, while Nora struggles and struggles and is only now getting anywhere. It feels like a real sibling conflict and the two actresses have good chemistry. It's just after Janice patches things up with the two... Hannah is reduced to influencer jokes. Once the series doesn't' really need her instead of writing the character off or finding something for her to do with the album, like I dunno work on costumes since she's shown changing costumes for her videos to pretend to be in fancy locales, or be the team's image consultant, she's just kinda there. While JJ is stapled onto the story to pad time Hannah is weirdly disconnected despite being vital to Nora's character and having plenty of ways she could be woven into it. A triangle between her, Hannah and Moog would've made WAY more sense. Instead Hannah is just there for the rest of the series.

Finally we have Penny. Penny is a great addition, being hilariously curmudgeonly and making a decent antagonist for the first half of the series without being overwrought: she hates the mayhem but doesn't actively impede them as she correctly figures win or loose, she get something out of it: the album actually happens, her protégé gets a win and she gets money. It fails, her ex falls flat on it's face and she just finishes selling the business like she was going to. Her relationship with Dr. Teeth is also genuinely sweet... I still did not need to know.. things, but it is nice and she slowly warms up to Nora, by the end ditching her vacation with Dr. Teeth to go help the band find her and willingly turning the business over to her.

Cameo wise the series is utterly stacked, with my co-pilot for this series, @jess-the-vampire often wondering how they got all these people. As it turned out from an interview most of it was just "Hey you want to be in muppets" "Done" "But I haven't even told you what you'll be doin.." "I SAID DONE". And thankfully for more Muppets tend to cast a wide generational net so there was only a few acts that had me going

Mostly confined to episode 2's cameos for Zedd and Sophia Carson. Otherwise it's filled to the absolute rim with great cameos. So just rattling off my faviorite in no paticular chronological order we have: The aformentioned bit with Ben Schwartz, Kesha showing up to jam with the band when Nora's trying to find someone to produce the album, Danny Trejo showing up in episode one for one of the best bits of the series as the band paints his house thinking it's theres and later warming to them saying "Those guys painted my house. And according to Bill Danny is apparently the easiest cameo to get and it's why he's become a muppet's regular himself at this point and it's easy to see why. Also really game was my boy Kevin Smith, who naturally was more than willing to take shots at himself, refering to himself as a one star director and letting them take a shot at yoga hosers, which I haven't seen, and god willing never will. He even gets to , as Dr. Teeth puts it be "Silent bob saying something meaningful at the end of the film. " We also get a nice Peter Jackson cameo that as I said confirms meet the feebles is canon to the muppets. How Goldberg got away with that I GENINELY have no idea. And in a long overdue team up we get Weird motherfucking Al Motherfucking Yankovic who appears to Floyd to tell him to stop being such a perfectionist.. and to remind him that yes, Al does more than parodies that criticism is fucking old please stop. Other great cameos include James Hong as Dan, the chef who declares Animal the Chosen one, Joe Lo Trugilo as a Mo Cap Maestro the band works with for their minecraft concert, Charlamange Tha God as himself interviewing the band when they have their contrived penultimate episode amicable breakup, Cedric Yarborugh as a cop who pulls the band over for holding up traffic, Tommy Lee as a walking STD, and most entertainingly Jack McBrayer, Rachel Bloom, Riki Lindholme and Nicole Beyer, always a highlight, all showing up as the heads of various fan armies when Dr. Teeth's autocorrect pisses off all of music.

So with that there's one last bit of business.. and frankly if your going to do a show about the world's greatest muppet band.. it's one of the most important

All of Us Are Winnin, Pickin and a Grinnin, Lordy But I Love to Jam The music was always going to be the thing that either made the series or ruined it for me. Can You Picture That? Is one of my faviorite muppet songs, and as the Mayhem's only original song up to this series it left some VERY big shoes to fill. I mean it's hard to go up against music legend paul williams and their VERY lucky Beef wasn't involved or they'd of been screwed.

Luckily Disney brought in someone every bit Paul Williams equal, which is a sentence I rarely get to say: Micheal Gicchano, composer supreme best known for his jazzy as fuck scores for the incredibles, who got the band's style perfectly. With a 70's style groove that perfectly fits the band's vibe and most songs picked being along those lines. Paul Williams would be proud and probably is atop his magical cloud castle. As a result most of the original songs on the soundtrack are damn good and the covers are great. So let's run through them in order of appearance shall we? Rock On is the series theme and at first I wasn't a huge fan mostly because it sounded a lot like a sitcom theme. Eventually though I got over myself and asked the eternal question

It's still one of the weaker tracks as a song but as an opening it sums the band up decently, has a nice beat and is chopped up decently. I realize now they didn't do the obvious and use can you picture that as it's both hard to get to theme song length, and because it's such an icon it'd overshadow everything else. Rock On is a message that this show is still the mayhem but it's something new with them, and it's still damn groovy. Not the best song ever, i've seen better tv theme songs, but a solid enough one that really worms it's way into your brain.

The first song in the show proper, Rock and Roll All nite is a fine enough cover, it's just Dr. Teeth's vocal's weren't quite the best choice for this and they didn't really change the song any to fit his vocals. To contrast this to another mayhem cover, the band did a truly awesome one of Dancin in the Moonlight for Muppets Haunted Mansion. While that song also has a softer vocal track on the original, they balanced it by having Floyd do the voice and leaving Dr. Teeth for the chorus where his croakier style fits better. Neither's vocals are bad, it's just like any band you have to match them to the song or it turns out okay at best.

So i've spent two straight songs complaining, let's get some positivity back in here. The show's version of Can You Picture that is still damn awesome, letting the current performers for the Mayhem (Zoot excepted as he STILL has the same performer) jam to their greatest song. The lyrics are fun, bouncy, and really fit the band. Do they make a lick of sense? not entirely. Are they fun and get across the vibe of a bunch of people making music? Yes.

Finally for episode 1 , we have Have a Little Faith In Me, the joe cocker classic which the band utterly nails and emotionally, shatters me in show as it was the song Nora's dad sang to her.. and the band sing it for her as thanks for giving them a shot. It's a nice moment, her finally convinced to hang in there with them, as she realizes the true magic of the mayhem and Bill Baretta's vocals are absolutely perfect. Unlike Rock N Roll All Night, Teeth's rough vocals PERFECTLY fit this song.

Next we have episode 2's finale true colors, this time lead by Janice who has a shockingly great singing voice and the tenderness of this version really hits as the Band let Nora know she can be herself. It's the heart of these songs that really works: While True Colors has been used 998 times in the history of film and tv, it's used here not because "Well it pulls the heart strings" and more because it naturally fits the moment.. while also doing that previously mentioned thing.

The next song is a bit of a joke, as Zedd makes a song with the mayhem and sofia carson they gave to her. It's funny enough, nothing great music wise, but it's made to be played over the radio and even the album version lasts exactly a minute.

Next is Bridge Over Troubled Water, a song I honestly haven't heard a ton. While I absolutely love Paul Simon, I prefer his post garfunkel works. Especially when they involve muppets.

It perfectly meshes with both the flashback to Animal and Nora turning up to stay with the Mayhem. One of the best tracks on the album.

We have a nice montage of the band trying to do diffrent versions of Rockin Robin. I'm disapointed we never finished Ziggy Marley's but hey, what happened with him and janice. I get it man. I get it.

We get a very nice cover of God Only Knows to show Moog knows what he's doing but what makes it work is it's paried with a truly stiring montage of the mayhem's history as Nora dives into it and finally really gets the band. Truly moving stuff.

Gonna Get There is a decent enough montage song, the first new song from the band in canon. It's pretty okay, mostly saved by the vocals.

Thankfully next episode makes up for it: Capping off what's already one of the best episodes of the season, we've got Gotta Be. Gotta Be has both one of the best performances but also just one of the best beats, being the kind of funky newmanesque groove that really fits the band, sung as Floyd convinces Teeth to be himself. It's one that not only perfectly fits the message of the band, but the uprorarusly joyful performance at the dental confrence is truly great. Baretta and Vogel play off each other perfectly, getting to do a full on deut and it's as awesome as it sounds. It's easily my faviorite song on the soundtrack.

Naturally the only way to follow this up.. is another cover. This time though it's of the freaking beatles, and frankly All You Need Is Love fits the band so perfectly, I don't see what else they could've gone with, especailly after an episode long homage to the documentary get back.

We Are One is another awesome 70's jam band style song, with the gang singing for unity and succesfully uniting the fan armies. It once again let's vogel vocally jam as Floyd, and there's a damn good reason they ping pong between him and Bill or both unite: they both have great vocals, and it gives the band a nice range. It's why the rock and roll all nite cover sticks out: it would've been better in Matt's hands.

So we're to the final episode as the band has seperated, hence no song for episode 9, and our first is the sound of us, another fun jam band style as Animal brings the band back together. It's perfect for a montage but far less bland Gonna Get There.

There's a fun cover of Join Together as they find Nora that once again fits the band. It feels like post poilot Goldberg and co realized what fit the band better and from that point on every song fits their style perfectly.

WE then get to the band's climactic hollywood bowl performance, belivie in us which is just.. beautiful. A joyous, uplifting celebration that fits everything perfectly and is exactly what you'd hope for. A nice power ballad using both baretta and vogel perfectly and incredibly well suited for Baretta's scratchy teeth vocals.

On Our Way is a nice U2 style song to finish out the song as the band sings us out. It's a good way to close the series and it's only real issue is that Janice, Teeth and Floyd's vocals don't really work together for the chorus. Janice might of been better left off the chorus but the bits between it are so well done, it dosen't matter.

Can You Even Find It? So we have one last odd to clean up.. so I guess it's also an end.

I WAS going to do an episode guide like i normally do.. but realized as I went that in addition to this review taking a very long time as is, I had already commented on most episode based things I wanted to as I went. So this section is more just for the bits I haven't talked about. The first is the only muppet characters besides the band and Penny, Dr. Teeth's parents. Their honestly fairly entertaining his mom going a mile a minute and not seeming to get her son is super succesful, as well as her passive agressive hate of floyd ("Maam") before finally coming around to her sons music and sexuality, while her husband always agreeing with a yup while being treated in charge works. I'ts nothing really new, but their in the episode just enough for the gag to not outstay it's welcome.

The second.. is less fun. The last two episodes.. are a complete mess. The episode before this foreshadows it: it's not a bad episode. The simple idea of the band getting online and autocorrect causing them to accidently pick a fight with every fandom in music is comedy gold. It just has some age signs like having a concert in a video game, something that still happens but not nearly as high profile as it once did, and the game being minecraft, which while I havent' played a ton is a game I like and my nephews and nieces adore, is a weird choice and feels like it was the only one that said yes or disney signed off on. I mean I don't want the muppets anywhere near fortnite, but it's not something minecraft's ever done and dosen't feel like enough of a joke to work. Or maybe it's just me

The last two eps though.. are not great. They have great moments and some good gags, but feel contrived: the band get hooked on various side projects. The side projects themselves are mostly entertaining, with only Teeth's (doing a spicy food tasting channel with penny ala hot ones) not really landing: We get Floyd getting hooked on jingle writing and soon having a jingle empire with Kristian Schaal as his assitant in the span of a week, Lips doing a ted talk, which while not the best ted talk gag of all time, this is..

Is still harmless enough, Zoot getting into photography and forgetting nora exists, Animal getting big on tiktok by scratching himself, and my personal faviorite: Janice starts a cult. It starts with just having people follow her, slowly escalates, and she has a full on compound by the time Nora tries to bring her back into the fold.

The problem is it feels like the band breaks up, if as ambicably as expected, simply to have drama. They likewise don't listen to nora or she can't get to them. It feels like padding to get to ten episodes, especially when episode 7 has a far better reason than "because the internet", the name issue, for them to break up. We also get Moog bitching and moaning because nora "broke up the band" because.. she told the mayhem about the internet.

The actual finale at the hollywood bowl is great, as is them coming to get nora, but the road there feels like they ran out of ideas for this seasons overarching plot and just came up with something quick instead of just finding something weird to fill the space instead.

So with that we've come to the end of the road. The Muppets Mayhem is a promising first step for a new era of the muppets: it proves both a muppets production with a reduced cast can work and be pretty awesome, with lots of great gags, fantastic music and a nice heart. It just needs to either flesh out the humans better or focus more on what we came for, and rely less on stock plots the muppets have never really needed to play so straight. Also fire JJ, out of a canon.. into the sun. That'd be great. The pieces for Muppets greatness are there, they just need to get the bugs worked out of the felt. Still after a decade of no major productions, this is a very nice welcome back and hopefully the start of something fresh for the muppets. And I can certainly picture that. Thanks for reading Next Month: Daddy Daddy, take us underground as we're Returning to the Labyrinth!