#this one lowkey killed me but it here
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Circle Member of the Week: Maryse Trueblood
“There were only ever two kinds of people in the world for Valentine. Those who were for the Circle and those who were against it. The latter were enemies, and the former were weapons in his arsenal. I saw him try to turn each of his friends, even his own wife, into a weapon for the Cause — and you want me to believe he wouldn’t have done the same with his own son? I knew him better than that.” - City of Ashes
Not sure if I’ll get to post one of these next week but still feel free to comment who you want to see next! I’m thinking Jocelyn in less y’all have a different idea.
Previous: (x) (x)
#yasss queen trust no one#it’s so much harder to do the families without symbols I’m like wtf do I put#this one lowkey killed me but it here#my graphics#the shadowhunter chronicles#tsc#the circle of raziel#the secret treasons#maryse lightwood#maryse trueblood
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Kusakabe, dear, you're too beautiful to be saying that kind of stuff
#jjk spoilers#All the prettiest characters were brought back from apparent death#Nobara was okay and it's true that when I read the lawyer's and Kusakabe's fights against Sukuna I thought it was being kept vague#but to pull a Nobara with all of them... idk#No one stays dead here except for the people who actually care for the kids and by that I mean 'including Yuuji'#kinda lowkey bitter about it#Don't get me wrong I like the characters and also they're super pretty but idk It makes death feel cheap? And the high stakes kinda fake?#Choso Gojo and Nanami actual only characters who died apparently#Well. Poor Itadori#And Kusukabe goes and runs his mouth that way in front of the kid. He is not entirely wrong but also he very much is#And yes he also says 'don't worry it's not for you to feel guilty over anything you're just kids' but also he did very much say that thing#about it all being Gojo's fault for not killing Itadori. In front of Itadori who feels guilty for that precisely#and in front of Megumi who asked Gojo to spare him and also went through the experience of Sukuna using his body as well#So Kusukabe's reassurance about them just being kids and not to feel guilty falls a bit empty#It does feel in character but man it truly makes one appreciate the way Gojo and Nanami dealt with the kids a lot more haha#Ui Ui seems like a dear#Anyway... this chapter felt a bit lame for the most part for me? I like the idea of the characters discussing the could have/would have#and feeling guilt and helplessness over their choices but the way it was done felt a bit lame and without any real emotional punch#It felt more like an explanation to the reader in an awkward way. And there's a lot of empty chat about guilt and grief#without any of the characters really giving off a grieving air about everything and everyone they've lost#And this is precisely what I felt was going to happen with this manga's writing haha#I truly don't understand this kind of writing choices. Contrary to some other shonen writers this author did seem to have the potential#to write this kind of thing well besides the worldbuilding and powers and fight stuff. It's truly a pity. It so breaks my heart#And still this is considered one of the good shonens. Well. WELL haha#I do think shonen can be good! I just think it falls almost always even when there's potential into bery shallow writing#I don't know. Maybe I should read that one Alchemist manga#I've been repeatedly told that one's good and it does seem like it doesn't do... this. But I find the art style so not to my linking#I wish I had never gotten into JJK for real for real. I absolutely adore it. I always end up frustrated. It could be so good. Genuinely good#And yet it's just okay in a sort of forgettable way. What a pity#Everything good ever is present but it never dares do anything to fully explore what it sets. It just does the typical shonen stuff
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oohh my goodness would you look at that. its the tristamp version! at last!! ill admit- this has been all but finished for uuhhh weeks! its been weeks. the only thing ive needed to do is the ampersand. that lil "&" that you see? thats the only thing i needed to do. i just didnt want to.
BUT ITS DONE!! its done and if you want heres the links to the tri98 version and the trimax version
#art#my art#digital art#digital drawing#digital illustration#fanart#trigun#tristamp#trigun stampede#vash the stampede#how long ago did i post the progress of this one... i dont want to look....#OUUUUU BACK IN JUNE!!!#goddd if you thought there wasnt gonna be a tristamp version of this at all you were so close to bein right i was so close to just never#finishing this LMAOOO (crying)#ITS THE FONT!!! I HATE COPYING FONTS!!!!#genuinely this was the EASIEST font to copy and THATS what got me#i mean thats not the only thing ive been lowkey a lil sad but yaknow im always like that so#that arm also... and his gun.... killed me... i remember....#for a pacifist this man absolutely slaughtered me#also since im here i might as well vent abt my life im sure no one cares lol who even reads the tags#anyways my toilet broke so that sucks ever since i got back from a trip back in early june itd been squeakin like CRAZY idk if i mentioned#it before in the tags of a different post but itd been drivin me wild like i started hearin it even when i wasnt in my apartment id just#hear the squeaking of my toilet at the grocery store. itd been destroyin my sleep fr i felt so paranoid constantly i had no idea if it was#ever stopping anyways the part that had been sqeakin like. BLEW UP or smn i havent a clue what happened but i heard water runnin in it open#d it up n got blasted in the face with toilet water that was miserable. my granma came over to check it out n the same thing happened to he#then my neighbor came over n got blasted too. called my landlord and a plummers gonna come over tomorrow i have no idea when so i probably#wont be able to sleep at all thatll be fun lol#i feel bad for anyone that does read the tags i hope no one does i always feel a little worried abt it bc i always read the tags on posts#but anyways its been a time. life is life is life. its been spittin on me. i wanna draw more trigun stuff#gosh finally havin this finished feels like a massive weight off my shoulders i havent even wanted to draw anything until i finished this
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i HAVE to keep the daigo plush locked away lest i squeeze it every five minutes to alleviate the cuteness aggression i feel whenever i see it
#snap chats#being without my computer charger has been maddening#that makes me sound terminally online and its because i am. its also cause all i ever wanna do is draw :((#AND I ESP WANNA WORK ON MY COMMS NOOOOO FUCK#i mean i was at least able to read through yakuza’s bias vol 2… so theres that…#MY SCHOOL STORE DIDNT HAVE LAPTOP CHARGERS i had to order one… hopefully it gets here Overnight like i asked….. if not ill kill#anyway. daigo plushie so cute :((((((((((((((((#mine cute too but theres just something especially squeezeable about daigo#alas.. thats what the aoki plush’ll be for. my personal stress toy ☠️☠️☠️☠️#lowkey i wish i also got ichi but then i remenbee they made him pale as all hell and Yeah Im Not Putting Money To That#THE SMALLEST BIT OF A TAN I BEG YOU RGG WHY IS HE SO PALE IT DONT LOOK RIIIIGHT :((((#anyway.. i have my last class in half an hour… lemme drink this tea…#also Lowkey obsessed with my outfit today.. its that butterfly shirt + gold accessories since theyre monarch butterflies#tho Lowkey 2x the black and yellow remind me of the watase blokes from gaiden…… wack…..#ok bye its tea time#help one of my roommates just came home and she just announces like. ‘man those edibles were. OUGH’#calling my dad to pick me up nooo im a lame straight edge dont talk about drugs around me ill scream and cry LMAO#ok im done byebye lemme drink this good god
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IT'S HEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
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#AHHHHH HAPPY NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE CAST ALBUM DAY!!!!!!#lowkey sad it won't be on Spotify for a while but I am going to MILK THE SHIT out of it on Youtube#and I have other means of listening to it as well while I wait for it to be on Spotify hehe#ANYWAY AHHHH STARKID DID IT AGAIN#starkid#nerdy prudes must die#npmd#starkid npmd#nerdy prudes must die cast album#THE QUALITY OF THIS ALBUM?!???!?!?!#I cannot WAIT for the proshot- CAN OCTOBER 13 GET HERE SOONER#me as a graduate student listening to high school is killing me on my way to class#that one meme: “do you ever wonder what is going on inside someone's head” *is BLASTING the NPMD soundtrack in their headphones
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Me, too busy with grad school to participate, watching everyone else in the Kirby fandom participate in the OC tournament and art fight
#text post#I wish I could have joined in but I’m an overworked stressed out grad student lmao#I forget if I’ve mentioned this on here before but I’m working on getting my PhD#I hopefully only have a year or so left before I get it and then I’ll be Doctor Sweet#this is going to be a stressful year oh boy 🥲 grad school is lowkey kind of killing me I hope I can finish in the next year#I like what I study it’s just a lot mentally at times and I’ve been feeling kind of depressed lately#I feel bad that I take so long to post art on my blog and update my comic#I really do enjoy drawing Kirby stuff I’ve just got a lot going on in real life and am not always feeling the best mentally#so sometimes I don’t have the time or the mental energy to draw but I am working on the next comic page! I have one panel left to do for it#I’m hoping to post it by this coming weekend Meta Knight starts fighting Whispy on this next page#thank you everyone for your patience it means a lot to see people liking my stuff even if I take forever to post it#I have so much stuff I want to draw and share but not enough time or energy to do it 🥲
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really wish there was a tag that separated “I’m having Big Angry and/or Angsty Opinions about Star Wars” from “I’m goofing off with Star Wars I’m playing in the sandbox none of this is real so yes I will make my blorbo and this random glub shitto go on an adventure that makes no logical sense” posts because there’s too much of the former and not enough of the latter for my current mental state
#starlight personal#the good news is that I finally have another ketamine appt scheduled and it’s sooner than I thought they’d have an opening#the bad news is that the appointment is not tomorrow and we’re kinda at the end of my mental-emotional rope#now kids this is what we call: an inherent flaw in my treatment plan that cannot be removed#because pretty much in an ideal world I’d have ketamine appointments every 6 weeks but 1) expensive and probs can’t afford that#2) they don’t have enough availability for that to be realistic 3) can’t take off of work THAT frequently without consequences#4) I would probably start to doubt reality if I was tripping that frequently 5) I don’t think docs would allow it#treatment resistant depression and anxiety my beloathed if we could just chill that’d be great#treatment resistant PMDD my other beloathed someday I will do my damnedest to cut you out of my body#idk not to be too selfpitying on main but god it fucking sucks that I appear to be doomed to another cycle based mood thing#PMDD means I get two good weeks two bad weeks#ketamine being the only effective treatment for whatever my brain’s got going on means two good months followed by x bad months#until my next appointment#which like! two good months is better than no good months I am grateful that something helps#I just wish it was a more convenient help and it could be applied more consistently than my psych office provides#also wish I didn’t have to call them 3 times to get it scheduled but it is what it is#also also wish that I had fewer of the physical side effects of my anxiety and wouldn’t wake up puking the min things are rough#this is all to say: I want silly SW headcanons and droid headcanons and silly fic ideas and not Everyone is Always Suffering#but I’m also too lazy (I.e brain cannot make decisions rn) to search for new tags that may give me more silly#which means time to browse my bookmarks for good good comfort fics I have saved I suppose#(this is lowkey why i want to physically fight everyone i know who’s like ‘yeah meds would help but idk :/‘ like!!!!!!!!#bro it’s a privilege to have access to meds and it’s a privilege to have a body that doesn’t turn on you the min you take one!!!!#just try 10mg of zoloft I would kill for 10mg of zoloft to not make me entirely incapable of functioning!!!)#I don’t mean that - you have a right to take or not take medication and everyone’s reasons may be their own#I just had my body and have some rough feelings around treating my issues being so expensive and inconvenient#and then feeling guilty b/c I know I’m lucky that I can afford it and can take off of work for it when I need to#like I am pretty lucky to have something that works and to have a care team that helped me get here#so I don’t wanna be ungrateful or unappreciative of my own luck in this and the work that went into getting here#I’d just also like it if I could change the circumstances slightly#make treatment on the weekends an option - get my psych office to have more than 2 trip sitters so scheduling isn’t so bad
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I'm so very proud of myself for having restraint and not responding to stupid takes about the 8x09 fake text debacle.
#which one is ''pure evil'' sending a lowkey manipulative text or trying to kill your brother's best friend?#don't get me wrong i was very entertained by sam's jealous rage but it honestly baffles me when people try to claim that he was being#rational and level-headed here#and then to claim that dean was the one who went to far???#okay i said i wasn't responding but now i literally am i need to shut up now lol
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thank goodness i chose to wait for dr to finish kali cause OH MY GOD if it was up to my own diamonds everyone would've died on the spot not a single person would've survived
#im willing to spend diamonds for the sake of the story don't get me wrong#but here every single choice matters???#i didn't some in s2 and im STILL paying for that???#from what i've seen in the walkthroughs i think the only one dying is rishi#that's a shame though i actually like him#but maybe he won't??#and amrit ofc i literally saw him dying in everyone's playthrough#now i also want to kill pryianka but i didn't get the fucking diamond choice 20 chapters ago#i'm so 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄#lets see how it'll play out for me#(its the next chapter)#lowkey scared#romance club#kali call of darkness
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actually it'd be great if an asthma attack would kill me about now
#so the main system has somewhat of a friendship with our neighbor who is. well we don't feel particularly safe with him tbh#he's lowkey a transphobic conservative but we didn't find that out until we'd already hung out multiple times#he's also a stoner and works at a local dispensary#so we see him pretty frequently and it's not exactly like we can back out. it's not a wonderful situation but it's what it is#well. most nights I come outside and smoke on our floor's back deck. I sit right outside our door (corner unit so we have one)#there's only one door for the rest of the floor which is on the other side of the deck from our door#he's out here. I have NEVER seen him out here this late. it's 3 AM.#I do NOT want to talk to him or engage with him at all. I don't want him to see me#I'm lucky he hasn't yet.#the only reason he hasnt is because the light on this side is burnt out and it's pretty shadowy where I am#but I can't keep smoking or he'll notice#and I can't get up to go back inside or he'll notice#he's literally right across from me like 15 meters away#it's 3 AM!!!!! go back inside!!!!#he won't. I know he won't. I'm fucking trapped#please. please kill me.
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im a lil embarrassed that most of the posts ive posted (duh) as of late were text posts abt me being sick LMFAO n it feels silly to write this but i think i may log out of this acc for a lil while at least on mobile <3
#not being able to write is making me feel a lil dizzy dizzy#a lil embarrassed a lil 'i do not belong' ya know???#hm yeah i also need to get off my phone bc i start uni next week and i need to wake up early and im soooo stressed bc of another uni thingy#so...i will be deactivating 😔👊#im joking im joking#ofc i wont deactivate i think my shrink would kill me if i did anyway /hj#she was the once that convinced me to make the writing blog#but rn the internet doesnt feel good to me and i need to be more present and more real and prioritise other aspects of my life#i wanna be more stable and journal and move my body and read books bc i like the feeling of the paper and and#i had the sweetest ask ever about my book recs and i was also a lil embarrassed to respond bc im not much of a reader but i try TT#anyway !! aside from this mildly incoherent ramble which i loved writing ngl#i havent been writing a lot and i think ive lowkey un-hyperfixated on tr and jjk so the inspo isnt inspoing#and tbh that feels a lil awful to say bc tr has taught me so many things and helped me grow and im so painfully in love with shin but idk#idk what happened i think i just hit a lil bump in the road of life and the stress has me focused more on real life and other things than#my darling beloveds. and im sure itll pass like most things in life i will feel good again#but rn it doesnt. i havent even caught up with the latest ep of tr :') but nonetheless writing is one of my truest loves as well#so i will comeback hopefully with a few stories mapped out including a lil gojo series and all that fun jazz :D#i have shin naoto izana gojo and toji in store !! and tbh im not ready to just leave them all behind#ANYWAY OKAY this' gone for too long LMFAO but thank u if u read till here i think i needed to rant#that means ill probably be less active than im already am but ill be back !!#still i dont think this exactly qualifies as a hiatus so i wont mark it down as such wait is this a semi-hiatus??? lmfao idk but eh 🤷♀️#i love love love love love yall so so so much and forevever and always will#MWAH#<3
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Going through the Utahim.e tag had me checking several times if at some point I had clicked on the G.ojo/Utahim.e one instead
#It's mainly the ship and mainly ship art. Very pretty btw. There's people with gorgeous styles there#There isn't even a lot of x reader fics haha I guess people don't want to bang Utahime?#Anyway... lowkey wished this happened with Ijichi lol#I so wanted Ijichi to mention or even hint at a mention of Gojo one last time like they did with Nanami#If nothing else for the weight of it all. The weight of feeling your youth dying piece by piece alongside the people who made it out#And everything it implies#Art of Shoko dealing with Gojo's death even in a cold way always strikes hard for that motive but I always love it#with pretty much everyone of those years. There was one piece I saw once that was not explicitly or necessarily romantic about Utahime#being hit by Gojo's death and I don't recall exactly how it was (I think I may have queued it?)#but it moved me more than any piece more clearly emotional that I had seen before#I don't know. I thought it held the potential of that. That weird uncomfortable heartbreaking feeling#of hearing bad news about old friends or classmates and how it makes you realise the weight of time#They suffered and accident. They tried to kill themselves. They are very sick. Their sibling or parent died. And you knew these people#You saw them daily for years. Maybe you weren't close but you knew these people. They cut my bangs when I was eight and I punched them#I tripped over them playing hide and seek and we both lost at the same time. We both hated each other's favourite teacher#They borrowed my pen once and then never gave it back. I once drenched them at the fountain after PE and it was winter but they laughed#Their mother got mad though. Now she's dead. We were made to sit together in French class in middle school. They loved to keep their hair l#Now they're sick and have lost their hair#Their little sibling was so annoying always trying to make us play with them during recess too. It was kinda cute. Now they're dead#I don't know. That kind of stuff#Utahime boosts Gojo and then he dies. Shoko opens him up to make a tool of his body#Ijichi accompanies another kid to clean after him in the meanwhile. And then the realisation hits. He is dead#He was annoying. He was my friend. He was so rude#He had such a sweet tooth. He laughed so loudly. He used to lean over people when talking with them#We were kids once. We are here now. He isn't here anymore. Some of us haven't been here anymore for a long while. It's been so long#He was still young. I am still young. We felt so old. At times it feels as if the time back then didn't happen at all.#And now he's dead and oh it's true he was so annoying but he also had such a sweet tooth. I forgot. What do I do with this memory now?#At times it felt as if the time back then didn't happen at all but then at times it shone through. He brought it back#He asked me a favour knowing I wouldn't betray his secret. He still teased the same way. He still leaned on people. But now he's dead#I don't know if I'm explaining myself well xD I think it's a pretty common emotion when it happens.Oh I forgot to censore words again sorry
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me being largely nonhuman/antihuman and a lesbian, therefore being forced by my brain to be attracted to humans has actually allowed me to fully understand how men attracted women who say they wish they were lesbians are real and based and do not deserve the hate they get. like girl i get it thats literally how i feel about you.
no offense to the good humans out there #notallhumans <3
#i dont actually like or trust women either. bc theyre humans. im just kind of forced into this i think...?#theres only one race: the human race#and im lowkey really really REALLY racist#/hj#the only people who dont annoy me in That One Way eventually are nonhuman or at the very least humans who believe they arent human#or are super autistic and love beasts and creatures#pretty much everyone who recognizes themselves as human unquestioningly and takes a complete all encompassing pride in it#or spews like. ''power of humanity <3'' & sucks off the human spirit casually or loves human centered themes at all is inevitably annoying#like no actually humans arent special in the slightest and if any other animal species had hands theyd probably do a lot better#AND theyd be less entitled about it. humans should stop killing everyone and maybe then ill listen to them about how cool they are.#every problem humans have ever solved was caused by humans in the first place how do you expect me to bow down and praise them#just on the basis that they were born human & therefore everything they do for anything else is heartwarming & merciful & divine in some wa#when theyre just cleaning up their species' own mess#humans are a lot like men in that they want to cry and whine about the problems theyre facing when their own people did that#and then expect a pat on the back for doing the bare minimum to pick up the mess they were complicit in making for centuries.#which is why i completely understand those man attracted women. the problem is basically the same one but its all inclusive this time#youre allowed to feel attacked for any of this but literally nobody can convince me it isnt the exact same thing bc it is.#and if you want to ''not all humans'' me. then tell me exactly what that sounds like and try to draw parallels as to why thats stupid. ty#humans that struggle still deserve sympathy just like men who struggle under patriarchy#but i dont have to take shit from them when theyre being weird or think theyre better or more deserving of life either.#no one ''deserves'' anything idiot thats just some bs your psyche is telling you to make you feel better#we're all just here to survive. play and have fun. and ideally. minimize suffering when we can. then die. thats like. all of it. thats life#nonhuman#op#my human mutuals are ''some of the good ones'' as they say lmao#sorry about my quirky ramble i just hope some more nonhuman people find this posts tags and Get It
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Majima is far farrrr and away by a country mile my favorite character in the entire franchise. But like ??? the anger over him only having a minor role in Y8 is so weird to me! Especially because we don't know how minor they mean. But even if he just shows up for three seconds to Wink Knowingly At The Camera that's fine. That's honestly fine. I am entirely abnormal in how much I adore this fictional man but he seriously does not have to be a majorly prominent character in every single game without exception. It makes the moments where he IS more involved have more impact if he's been off to the side for a while! Anyway I'm among those who'd totally love a Jima-centric spinoff or something but I won't lose sleep if it doesn't happen either. I'm rambling a lot at this point I'm so sorry but yeah. Tl;dr I get why people are upset but I don't vibe with the staggering amount of rage on display like goddamn people it's OK I promise -Malnourished Stoner Kazumaji Minedai Anon
never apologize for being your beautiful self malnorished stoner kazumaji minedai anon. MSKMA, even.
but yeah it is really funny like cmon. majima's gotten plenty of love from the franchise as of late i think we can all live with him being a minor character in a game that's supposed to be following ichiban anyways
#snap chats#it just has vegeta-fan energy yk what i mean. those from the db gang know what i mean#like he's already adored by the audience and creators- or a lot of the team at RGG anyway#you dont HAVE to make him The Most Important One In The Room other characters exist#fam have never heard of habituation and it shows like if majima was there ALL the time it'd just get boring#it's also just like. ridiculous lowkey LMAO#so many people are acting as though they killed majima or axed him from the game entierly#they just said he wasn't going to be a main/party member he's still here#funny stuff. this why i try not to touch fandom stuff but it also makes me want to touch it more cause it do be a lil funny
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insane that i’m the biggest disappointment of a child for smoking weed but the child that’s emotionally abusive is fine
#i??? do not understand my parents#like ok yes it is bad that my room smells of weed and is messy#but!#feels real fucking weird that my mum gets more upset with me about that than my sister being the literal devil incarnate#and not in a fun way#like dinner last night i literally did not say a single word bc me. just speaking. apparently triggers izzy and i think i literally just#acknowledged a joke being made and she started her whole. you need to leave. get out. you’re the problem. everyone hates you. shtick#and my mums response is can you just be nice to each other#???????????#GIRL I DIDNT DO A FUCKING THING#I KNOW YOU DONT LIKE CONFLICT AND THE CONFLICT APpArENtLy ONLY OCCURS WHEN IM PRESENT#(it doesn’t. she’s even worse to my mum but mum never. fucking does anything about it#which yeah i do get bc defending urself or literally just saying or reacting in anyway than what The Devil wants you to ends up a mess)#but maybe use two fucking braincells and realise i’m not the worst one here??#i’m actually gonna go insane#also it’s like. lowkey so funny that mums disappointed bc she thinks i haven’t been smoking for months#which i have!! u just haven’t fuckin realised it bestie!! so maybe the reason i am being depressed and useless rn is related to uhh the#fucking demon that’s living in the house again???#not because weed is so evil and brain rotting??#also like i do completely get how silly of me it is to blame everything on my sister when i am aware that my mum hates me smoking weed and#i shouldn’t get a free pass just because my sister is worse than me#but also.#i would like a free pass:(#basically! i should move out lol#but unfortuately i have spent all of my savings#can’t wait to spend 12 hours in the car with all of them tomorrow!!#ah you know when u look back at the times you were gonna kill urself and wish you just fucking did#vent post
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(JUST MEET ME AT THE) APT! — gojo satoru minors dni. art by chitrartum on twt.
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welcome to the christmas tour ! take a seat in section (a) and let the show begin !
prologue. → your ex, that sleazy and no-good scumbag won't stop posting tacky mirror selfies on instagram, arm around his fellow cheater-in-crime. so, christmas eve finds you morose in a dodgy dive bar. why not tumble back into bed with that random, gorgeous stranger you just met?
want to try sitting somewhere else ? take a look at the ticket chart again !
pairing. gojo satoru x afab!reader
warnings+. never drive, no matter how little alcohol is in you folks!!! never!!! making out, creampiè, hooking up with a stranger, ovèrstimulation, mildly rough sèx, gojo won't tell you what his job is
word count. 9.4k! song inspiration. apt — rosé & bruno mars
a/n. reader lowkey a hater, i love vanilla vodka eggnog </3 i said i was gonna post on 02/12 and i kept my word, literally rushed to finished this before my clinical exams in the cardiac ward 😭😭😭😭😭😭 hope y'all stay healthy. your future surgeons are writing gojo smut on tumblr.com
mp3. don't you want me like i want you, baby? don't you need me like i need you now? sleep tomorrow, but tonight, go crazy. all you gotta do is meet me at the apartment (아파트) !
you think your friends would kill you if they knew this was how you were spending christmas eve. not at some glittering holiday party, nor tucked away in a snow-dusted cabin. but here, holed up in a dimly lit bar with an atmosphere so questionable it should come with a warning label alongside a health and safety audit.
the place had charm, if your definition of charm included scuffed floors, a jukebox stuck on 'last christmas' and a string of blinking lights that looked like they'd been thrown at the walls rather than hung. still, you'd swiped a couple of minty candy canes from a jar near the door, which felt like a win.
your phone sat resolutely off in your bag. self-preservation. no instagram, and no tacky mirror selfies from your scumbag ex with the same smirk he'd worn a month ago when you caught him cheating. with someone who had always been 'just a friend, babe!' you weren't keen to let that ruin the rest of the night, though if you were being honest, you had already let it ruin a good chunk of the month.
"another christmas vodka...sour, please," you squint at the messy chalkboard above the bar, where the christmas specials were scrawled in what would barely pass for handwriting.
the bartender gave a single, surly nod. he looked as though he'd rather be anywhere but here, preferably somewhere free of customers nursing post-breakup bitterness like a fine wine.
and so, you found yourself staring at the tall glass now sitting in front of you, studying the rosemary sprig that swayed lazily in the translucent red liquid. a few cranberries bobbed among the ice cubes like they were on some tiny festive raft.
"woah, that one's way too strong for me."
the voice interrupts your private session of wallowing. you turn your head, slowly, to take in the culprit. he-who-hath-disturbed-the-peace. a man sitting close enough to be annoying, but not close enough to invade your personal space.
it takes you a moment to process the stranger, mostly because of the brain freeze from your ill-timed gulp.
"i mean, it's not bad," you shrug, hoping to sound neutral enough that he leaves you be. but then because you just can't leave well enough alone, you gesture at the specials board, "better than...that, at least."
you jab a finger at the chalk-scrawled abomination: vanilla & peppermint vodka eggnog.
the man frowns, a sharp but somehow charming movement that's overshadowed by the dim lights, "hey, i ordered that one."
you blink like a startled bovine, before breaking into a laugh, "my bad. i'm sure it's really fuckin' delicious."
the stranger chuckles too, a soft and low sound that seems more genuine that it has any right to be, "i hope so. otherwise, this is gonna be a long night."
the man finally shifts, casting aside the dim shadows that lay over him, into the blinking string lights. broad shoulders framed by a dark, tailored jacket that hugs him like a second skin. his hair, startlingly white, was pushed back by — wait, was that a blindfold?
you stare longer than you should have, trying to piece the odd sight together. a cosplay? a k-pop idol wannabe, hoping to get recruited for the next bts tour? perhaps, he was blind, hard of sight? you start to open your mouth, wondering how to phrase the intrusive and awkward questions, but he beats you to it.
"i can see you just fine, y'know," he says, his tone laced with amusement.
your cheeks burn at the realisation that he's caught you gawking shamelessly. so you quickly turn back to your drink, suddenly very interested in the cranberries floating in the glass.
the bartender returns, sliding the stranger's drink onto the counter with an audible clink. it was the most obnoxious cocktail that you'd ever seen. a martini glass filled with frothy, pale liquid and crowned with a cinnamon stick that jutted out like the mast of some ridiculous holiday ship.
you watch, mildly horrified, as the man picks up the glass and downs half of it in one confident gulp. he sets it down a satisfied sigh, and a smack of his glossy lips, and you wrinkle your nose involuntarily at the sight.
"i swear it's good," he says with a laugh, catching your expression. his grin is wide, playful. and you find yourself smiling back despite your sour, gloomy mood.
he has a nice smile, you note. not forced nor smug, but genuine. framed by pale pink lips that curl up in an easy, natural way. it was strange though, to look at someone without seeing their eyes.
"i'm gojo, by the way," he offers, his voice smooth and lightly amused once more, as if he'd caught you studying him again.
your gaze drops to his hands, long and slender, tracing the rim of the martini glass. something about the way they move — elegant and deliberate, hold your attention a moment too long for propriety. you quickly snap your focus back to his face, "what brings you here, gojo?"
gojo shrugs, and you can almost imagine him rolling his eyes beneath the blindfold, though you doubt his ire is directed at you, "work, i guess. or maybe i just got bored of going to work."
"they're working you hard, yeah?" you ask, trying for sympathy. employers loved squeezing their workers dry during the holidays. your own boss was proof enough of that, running the office like a sweatshop for santa's unpaid elf labour.
"something like that," gojo says with a scoff, the corners of his mouth quirking up again, "what about you? what brings you here? it's christmas eve, isn't it?"
you sigh, the weight of gauche embarrassment suddenly pressing down as the words spill out before you can stop them, "my ex-boyfriend cheated on me."
gojo's lip curls, the kind of expression that balances perfectly between pity and disgust, "that sucks," he offers. profound and wise, you have to agree as he continues, "you jus' find out or something?"
the question makes you cheeks heat, and you fiddle with the edge of your drink, "no, i've known all month." you gesture vaguely towards your purse, where your phone sat like an unsealed pandora's box, "but he posted...on instagram. and stuff. i'm still, y'know, getting over it."
gojo makes a thoughtful clicking noise with his tongue, "ah, see, i don't do social media. but that sounds rough."
you let out a weak huff, "yeah, well...now i just feel like a loser. my friends told me to go out and have fun, and here i am..." you trail off, downing the rest of your cranberry vodka in a single, decisive gulp. the sting hits your throat, sharp and sour, and you grimace at the burn.
gojo frowns slightly, leaning in just enough that you can hear how his voice softens, "i don't think you're a loser." the sincerity in his tone catches you off guard, pulling your gaze back to him, "it's fair to wallow."
his words hang in the air, and you find yourself smiling, albeit thinly, "that's...really nice of you to say."
gojo hums thoughtfully, "i meant it, i promise. but i can't exactly say i've been there, never really dated anyone."
you blink, openly gaping at the man, "really? you're joking."
it was hard to wrap your head around that. even with the odd blindfold, everything about him screamed 'pounce-worthy'. the broad frame, the charming smile, the striking white hair that looked like it belonged in a kérastase commercial.
gojo laughs at your incredulous expression, "same old work and stuff," he explains with a casual shrug. then his grin fades, tone shifting just enough for you wonder why that feels as though the clouds have covered the light of the moon outside, "always got in the way."
"at least you never had to deal with a breakup," you offer, trying to find some weak, silver lining.
gojo frowns, his pale complexion now tinged with a faint red flush that even the dim bar lights couldn't disguise. was he really that much of a lightweight, or was the eggnog's amaretto content deceptively boozy?
he sighs dramatically, "a friend once left me outside a kfc in shinjuku. then he became a murderer and a cult leader. that felt like a breakup."
"huh," you murmur, staring at the man with a mixture of amusement and faint alarm, wondering if you'd seen any cult leaders on the evening news lately. no, nothing save for the occasional incorrect weather report, a friendly good-looking priest running some scam association, and news reports about an octopus that could predict the lottery, "that's - well, okay..."
you couldn't quite tell if he was joking or not, but gojo seems to shake himself free of the odd reverie. he's running his hand through his shock of white hair, and his grin has returned, slower and a touch softer, "still, your ex must've been crazy. letting go of a pretty girl like you?"
the words land with surprising weight, considering they come from a stranger in a sleazy bar, but it leaves you momentarily stunned. you can feel a blush rising to your cheeks, your heart doing an embarrassing little flip before you manage to get a grip on yourself.
"wow," you laugh, feigning composure as you sip the last remnants of your drink, "smooth."
gojo's smile is wider now, "hah, i call it like i see it," and his lips now curl upwards as he leans in, "and i'm serious. if i had someone like you..."
you laugh again, but this time it's far more unsteady. you wonder if the cranberry vodka is playing with your head, "big words for someone who's never dated. should i be impressed, gojo?"
gojo's chuckle is a deep sound that vibrates in his chest, "i know a good thing when i see it. you don' need to date to know what you want. and i think i want you."
your stomach does a little flip, and you feel all rationality being pounded out of you just from staring at his unfairly gorgeous hands rest on sturdy thighs, "you do flattery well, i'll give you that."
"oh, i don't know about that," gojo says, fiddling with the stem of his glass, "but what'dya say we get out of here? how about my place?"
you blink slowly, and you're aware that your heart (and...nether regions) have already composed an answer before your mind has, "what if you're a serial killer? you're not about to silent night, deadly night me, are you? you haven't killed someone have you?"
for a moment, the man stills but then gojo leans back, "smart girl. asking the right questions. but no, i can at least promise that i'm not a criminal."
you hesitate just for a beat, the words lingering on your tongue, before you let out a breath and shrug, "fine. where's your place?"
"azabu," gojo replies without missing a beat, his tone smooth, like it's the most natural thing in the world.
you gape once more, blinking as you try to process the information. azabu? as in tokyo's ritziest neighbourhood, where a one-bedroom apartment could cost you more than most people's yearly salary? the kind of place where the floors are made of marble, and everyone's shoes are more expensive than your entire wardrobe?
gojo, ridiculously handsome despite looking like a circus runaway, too charming for his own good, and not the type you'd expect to find in a cheap downtown dive bar. definitely not on a christmas eve, at least.
for a split second, you wonder how a man like him even ended up in a place like this. maybe it's some kind of self-imposed penance. or he likes to keep things low-key when he's pretending not to be rich? maybe he's looking to cosplay a succession character?
whatever it is, it's working. not only does gojo have a face carved from marble, now you've got a solid ticket into seeing what a neighbourhood for the top one percent really looks like beyond it's wealthy exterior. maybe, you'll bring back a souvenir.
you wonder whether there's a group of small emotions standing around inside your head, inside-out style. glaring at you as if you're incapable of making good and rational decisions.
well fuck that, you gather yourself and shrug off the small wave of nerves, and loop your purse strap around your finger, "alright," you say, "let's get out of here then."
you don't miss at how the adam apple of gojo's throat bobs for a second, before he downs the rest of his drink in one go, "let's get outta here then."
you follow him out into the cold, your breath fogging in front of you as you try to focus, but the man is tall, like ridiculously so. but when you reach the curb, he turns to face you again, a frown marring his face.
"so, i have a small confession."
i changed my mind and i find you repulsive.
i was paid by your ex to do this, and now i've done enough to get my money.
i'm a serial killer.
you don't know which possibility is worse, "huh, a confession? what is it now?"
gojo chuckles, lifting a hand to the back of his neck, as though he's about to spill a dark secret into the night air, "i don't have a car."
"you've got to me kidding me. how'd you even get down here?"
gojo shrugs, a casual and almost lazy movement. and you feel your gaze lingering on his shoulders. broad, impossibly wide, the dark jacket hugging him in all the right places, like it was tailor-made to showcase just how much he filled it out.
"someone dropped me off. ages ago," like it was the most normal and rational explanation in the world.
your own laugh is short, a little disbelieving, but you pull your silver keys from your purse, "well, i guess i'll have to drive then. but what would you have done if i hadn't been here to save the day?"
gojo steps to the side, opening your own car door for you with a small flourish and exaggerated bow that makes your heart jolt again, "probably teleport back home. maybe fly, since the skies look clear."
what a weird guy. hot, but weird. he seems like the type to dress up with a fake beard and show up as gandalf at the next lord of the rings fan convention.
in the driver's seat beside him, you catch yourself staring too long. your gaze slipping over a model's jawline, the white of his hair being held up by the blindfold. even his vaguely expensive scent is disorienting, pleasant like pine and blackcurrant. but it's also hard not to be amused when he's furrowing teeth into plush pink lips out of concentration, pressing an address into your cracked gps screen.
well, merry christmas to you.
gojo's place is well...how do you say this? gorgeous doesn't quite begin to cover it. he leads you into the building with the ease of someone who knows every inch of it, tossing a casual smile over his shoulder as he swipes a key card to unlock the private elevator, "i tend to move around a bit. or stay in different places. keeps life exciting, don't you think?"
you step into the elevator alongside him, the polished mirrors reflecting the soft glow of gold accents and sleek, modern lines. his hand hovers over the control panel before he presses the button for the top floor. of course, it's the penthouse.
"you move around a lot?" you ask, arching an eyebrow, "what, like a restless billionaire or something?"
gojo smiles, leaning casually against the steel as the elevator begins its smooth ascent, "now you're exaggerating."
the elevator finally dings, and gojo steps aside, offering an exaggerated bow as he gestures for you to exit, "after you, my fair maiden."
you almost scoff at the ridiculousness of it, but there's something so endearing and charming about how he pulls it off, especially when paired with the unfair symmetry of his face.
floor to ceiling windows dominate the far wall, revealing a jaw dropping panorama of tokyo's skyline. the city stretches out in a glittering sea of lights, with the tokyo tower glowing a golden exclamation point against the velvet night sky. the interior is just as impressive, with polished wood floors that gleam in the warm light and a glass dining table that sits beneath a sculptural chandelier. that same faint scent of blackberry and pine lingers in the air, heady almost.
behind you, gojo strolls with an easy and languid grace, tossing his jacket onto an artisan leather armchair. beneath it, his sky blue dress shirt clings just right and rolled up to reveal forearms faintly dusted with pale hair. you think you've momentarily forgotten how words work, and you avert your gaze quickly. though not before catching the faint smile on his lips.
"not bad, huh?" gojo says, heading to the open kitchen as though he's unaware of the effect he's having on a rational and sensible mind such as yourself, "it's no dive bar, but i'll do."
you shake your head, bewildered. trying to process how someone you met in a dingy bar could live somewhere that looks like it belongs in architectural digest. even down to the odd, ancient looking pieces that scatter the wide living room. weird looking artifacts of some sort. maybe he's also a collector? go figure.
"not bad?" you repeat, incredulous, "gojo, this place is incredible."
the man laughs, opening a sleek fridge to grab a bottle of water, "i have good taste," he says with mock modesty, his tone teasing as long fingers twist off the cap, "and a thing for gorgeous views. though, between you and me, i'm not great with heights. ironic, i suppose. paying a fortune for a view i'd rather not get too close to."
he waves a hand vaguely towards the windows, the blindfold still firmly in place.
"so, what's the deal? did you win the lottery, or inherit a fortune. or are you some kinda secret agent who moonlights as a barfly?"
gojo lifts the bottle in mock toast, "let's just say i'm very good at what i do."
you arch a brow, crossing your arms and ignoring the warm flush creeping up your neck, "and what exactly is that?"
"oh, you know. standard stuff. international intrigue, thwarting evil creatures. i even saved a kitten from a tree the other day."
"right, because nothing screams the next member of the avengers like eggnog in a seedy bar."
gojo leans casually against the counter, "even the avengers need a holiday drink now and then. don't knock it." but then he gestures towards the sleek couch, "wait, you can make yourself comfortable, y'know. i'd hate for my guest to think i'm a terrible host."
"terrible host? no, but a mystery man —"
before you can finish, your foot catches on something hard, and you stumble forward with an undignified yelp. gojo reacts instantly, how does he move that fast, and his arm is shooting out to steady you. but glorious gravity and magnificent momentum has other plans.
both of you crash onto the couch, and you find yourself sprawled unceremoniously across his lap. gojo's laugh rumbles low in his chest, and you can feel the warmth of it underneath your palms as you steady yourself, "well, that's one way to get comfortable," he murmurs, voice teasing as his large hand lingers lightly on the curve of your waist.
you prop yourself up slightly, cheeks burning, and glance back at the offending object. your brows knit together when you spot what looks suspiciously like a katana gleaming under the soft light.
"did i just trip on a — hey, what the hell is that?"
gojo interrupts, smoothly extending a long leg to nudge that suspicious object under the nearby coffee table before you can finish, "nothing important," he says breezily, the motion so quick you almost think you imagined it.
his focus shifts back to you, almost guilty, but his fingers are pressing divots into the fabric of your top, "now, where were we? hi."
you blink, caught off guard by how strange it is to feel the searing heat of someone's gaze underneath a blindfold, impossibly intent, "hi yourself," you manage.
for a moment, neither you nor the gorgeous man under you move, and the world feels strangely airless.
but your fingers twitch against the fine linen of his shirt. and before you can second-guess yourself, you reach your hand up to the edge of the silk fabric over his face and you ask, "can i take this off?"
gojo tilts his head, like it's a genuine consideration and you catch the faintest flicker of hesitation. it's fleeting, replaced by a crooked smile as he nods, "go ahead, sweetheart."
your hand rests lightly on the silk, hesitant for only a second before tracing its way to the back of his head. your fingers brush through impossibly soft strands of white hair, and his breath hitches when you find the knot tied neatly to the base of his skull.
you wonder what manner of man gojo is, letting himself be stitched undone by a stranger. but with care, you undo the knot, working deftly and clutching the fabric as you pull the blindfold away.
the blindfold slips free, and for a moment, you're certain you've forgotten how to breathe. bright, piercing blue eyes. framed by thick white lashes blink up at you. the intensity of such an unearthly gaze is softened by something more vulnerable, almost shy. nervous even.
"wow," you murmur without thinking, the word spilling out as gojo's expression shifts, an unguarded openness replacing the playful smirk that you've seen all evening.
your earlier assessment echoes in your mind: k-pop reject wannabe. the recent memory now feels like quite the injustice, a careless slight against a face that defies easy description. each detail of his face is striking, as if some divine hand had taken special care to sculpt him from the fabric of time and space itself.
gojo seems to sense your analysis, and you're sure that he's parted his lips to speak, but whatever he was about to say falters. that faint flush, pale-red like vermillion watercolour bleeding across a canvas, blooms across his cheeks. gojo's hazy gaze flickers for a second, and it sends a thrill through you. he's affected by this, by you.
it's hard to resist the slow smile that curves your lips, light and playful if only to mask the way your own heart is racing, "are you seriously shy now, gojo?"
gojo's expression shifts again almost immediately, as if that subtle invulnerability has been replaced by something sharper, almost indignant. he sits up a little straighter, the movement making you acutely aware of how the hard planes of his body feel beneath you.
"shy? no," gojo says, his voice steady but edged with some need to defend his honour, "i just...don't usually do this. that's all."
there's a sincerity in his words, an almost begrudging honesty that takes you by surprise. you tilt your head, as your murmur, "i don't either."
before you can second-guess yourself, you tilt your head down. pressing your lips to gojo's in a featherlight kiss. his taste is intoxicating, honey and sweet grapes mingling with a hint of that ridiculous vanilla drink from earlier. you pull back almost as quickly as you leaned in, testing the waters.
but your breath catches when you see that the blue of his eyes has deepened, darkened. and his lips, pink-blush and slightly parted, form a quiet and stunned oh!
"cool," gojo manages, his voice rougher than you expected, and you bite back a laugh as you watch him swallow hard.
"huh, cool?" you echo, your amusement bubbling over, "that's it? that's all you've got?"
gojo's grip on your waist tightens, and his hands are now splayed over your spine. anchoring you to him, as his mouth curves into something sly, though his flushed cheeks betray his composure, "compliments to the chef?"
you shift slightly, pressing more of your weight firmly into his lap. though not yet close enough to situate yourself over his groin, delighting in the way gojo's blush spreads down his neck, staining his skin a shade reminiscent of ripe berries swirling in cream.
you can feel gojo's attention as much as you can see it, how his own gaze lingers, deliberate and unhurried. taking you like a masterpiece that deserves more than a cursory glance. the hand that had been steady on your back shifts, his fingers threading through your hair. he watches as the strands slip and fall beneath his touch.
"thought you said you wanted me, gojo," you tease, though you're certain your voice is betraying the way your pulse is doing its best impression of the macarena in your jugular, "are y'gonna do something or not?"
gojo's gaze snaps back to you, a flicker of something far more intense passing through those impossibly blue eyes. full of hunger, need even. the hand in your hair slides away, only to settle at your jaw. it's warm and steady, his thumb brushing slightly over the plush of your bottom lip.
"i do want you," gojo says, his voice low and steady and maddeningly genuine, "want you to kiss me again. and again. as many times as you want until i forget my own name."
"gojo —"
"satoru," he interrupts, his voice cracking slightly, stripped of any previous swagger. it's unsteady and raw, affected in a way that excites you. sends a dark heat curling low between your thighs, "you can call me that."
"satoru," you repeat softly, letting the syllables fall from your lips, unfurling in the most hazy way.
something within the man shifts. his hand tightens on your waist, dragging you closer in a way that punches the air from your lungs. right over -
oh. the thick, curve of his erection straining against slacks that probably cost more than your monthly salary. it's deliberate, almost desparate at how the invisible thread snapped inside him. unravelled the careful composure he's been clinging to until now.
"go on," gojo murmurs, his voice dark with need, "kiss me again, please."
you lean closer, eyes flickering to his lips, and your pulse roaring in your ears, "who would i be to deny you any wish, satoru?" the words come out more reverent that you'd expected, as if your entire world has been tilted off its axis.
and then you kiss him, hard. desparate. as if his lips are your birthright, a homeland to claim. and gojo's kissing you back, carrying a sweetness that seems both foreign and familiar. in an instant, the weight of another man, a dreary haze in your past, vanishes. gojo is suddenly everything you didn't know you needed, vibrant and electrifying.
"let me know if it's too much," gojo breathes against your lips, his voice shaky as if he's trying to tether himself to the earth. but your kiss deepens, frantic and unrestrained. his mouth moves against yours with a hunger that sends sparks down your spine, and you suddenly realise you quite like the taste of vanilla when it's dripping from his open kisses.
you pull away, for every human needs air. but the sight before you has you clenching your thighs desperately around the bulge where you sit atop. gojo's gaze is heavy, full of that desparate longing that makes your chest ache. his lips are swollen, a soft cherry hue from your kisses. and strands of white hair fall over his blue eyes.
"look what you've done to me, fuck. miss you already," gojo murmurs, and before you can respond, he surges forward, hands pressing against your face with the intensity of a storm. one hand reaches to find the nape of your neck, letting you surrender to the heat of this touch.
you crave more, so much more from gojo, who's taking you in like you're his last breath, his final indulgance. it's as if he's found a new devotion in you, ready to worship you at the alter of your false godhood. but before you can part your mouth to tell him exactly what you and where, gojo's hands are already sneaking under your top, brushing against the trembling skin of your torso.
his teeth are biting down on your lip, leaving you dizzy. and gasping, and so damp in your panties as the fabric of your top is peeled away, and you're left shivering, fighting against the cold of the december air. you find yourself pressing harder into the warmth of his chest, letting the swell of your chest press flat against him.
"shoulda' turned the heat on before we came in," gojo murmurs, breathless as his lips hover a mere centimetre away from yours, "got nothin' to worry about, sweetheart. i'll keep you warm."
"didn't t-think i'd spend christmas eve like this," you gasp, your head lolling to the side as gojo presses open-mouthed kisses to the soft arc of your neck, sensitive even to the cool air.
"no?" gojo's reply is breathy, almost frantic as if he's fumbling in the heat of the moment and has little grasp over the words tumbling out of his mouth, "neither did i. but this? b-better than any fuckin' mission they could've sent me on."
you cock your head, feeling the heat of his clothed cock underneath your thighs, "m-mission, huh? what are you talking about - mmph!" but the rest of the question never escapes your lips for it's swallowed up by another one of gojo's candied kisses.
his rough hands work deftly, finding the clasp of your bra with ease. a pretty crimson thing, almost sheer as it caught the light. and in the centre, a tiny satin bow sat like the final touch on a perfectly wrapped gift. you had only worn it half-heartedly earlier in the morning, some forced christmas cheer for your dreary day ahead.
the look on gojo's face was anything but composed, staring at your cupped tits like you'd knocked the air out of him and his chest rose and fall as though he were remembering how to breathe. in a single fluid motion, your bra is unhooked. the faint metallic click barely audible over the pounding in your chest and he's tossing it aside with a casual flick, his focus entirely on you.
you find yourself mesmerised by his eyes, those swirling pools of blue that seem to have stolen fragments of the sky itself, clouds brushed into cerulean depths with strokes of syrupy smoothness. they're breathtaking, but the thought shatters as gojo's canines graze the flesh of your breasts, a sharp and teasing nip that pulls a gasp from your lips. leaves you rocking sharply against his erection, making him throw his head back, ragged.
the playful string blooms into a flush of heat, and gojo's at it again, his mouth working to leave faint red marks in its wake. you squeal, half in surprise and half in helpless laughter (and entirely in a lusty haze) but gojo only pulls back enough to murmur, "what? can't help myself."
but then he peers at you abruptly, his lips parted as he catches his breath, "wait. do you wanna —?" and gojo tilts his snowy hair towards the shadowy doorway that leads out of the living room, the implication clear even through his panting.
you nod, breathless, "yeah, jus' help me up."
without hesitation, a strong arm slides around your waist, and before you know it, you're being swept into a semi-bridal carry, and your head is resting against the fabric of his dress shirt. not a bad feeling, one you could get used to.
at the doorway, gojo lets out a low 'shit!', nudging the door open with his foot. the faint sound of clattering follows as he kicks something out of the way. you glance down from your entirely too comfortable vantage point, spotting a smattering of cheap tinsel, all glittering in metallic silver and gold, tangled with round baubles that glisten faintly under the dim light.
some have little smears of glue, and uneven glitter patches, as if crafted by unsteady hands, but with earnest effort.
"you big on christmas or something?" you tease, delighting in how the tips of his ears light up like nose of a famous reindeer.
gojo freezes for a moment, almost sheepish as he clears a path, clearly trying to look as macho as possible as he gingerly pushes aside a string of green lights, "made those for my students," he mutters, "thought they'd like them in the classroom tomorrow."
your laugh grows louder, and gojo's brows furrow, his tone growing defensive, "it's a nice surprise for the classroom!"
"i'm not making fun of you!" you insist, leaning up to press a gentle, soothing kiss to the hollow of his collarbone, "it's sweet. i think it's really nice, actually. wait, you're a teacher?"
gojo's mouth quirks up in a faint smile, "something like that," he says cryptically, finally clearing a decent and hazard-free path into a sleek, and clean bedroom. it's all modern space, all clean lines in shades of cream and white, and navy.
gojo sets you down gently, and the plush fabric cradles you as your back lands on fresh linen. and for a quiet, tender moment, you're both caught in the stillness. gojo kneels at the edge of the bed, his hands resting lightly on each of your thighs as if he's anchoring himself there.
his gaze is steady, content, maybe even adoring in a way that feels too intimate for someone who you barely know. there's a warmth in his expression, like he's savouring the sight of you, searching for something — and he's found exactly what he's hoped for.
almost without thinking, you lift a hand, cupping the sides of his face. his skin is warm beneath your palm, soft with the faintest hint of pale stubble that seems to fade into his skin. the moment your hands makes contact, gojo leans into your touch instinctively, his white lashes fluttering closed.
"hey, 'toru," you murmur softly, "y'still with me?"
gojo's eyes snap open at the sound of that, sharp and bright, as if the nickname itself has sparked a challenge in him. a low and almost frustrated sound escapes from the back of his throat, and he presses a feather-light kiss to the inside of your knee.
you don't miss at how his teeth sink into his bottom lip again, worrying and working the plush flesh like he's trying to steady himself. spreading your weeping thighs aside, as his gaze is fixed on something. intense, unwavering. the sheer focus of it making heat creep up your neck.
at how he must be staring hungrily at damp, sheer red fabric that clings to the outline of your cunt. at how it must shimmer almost translucently now, the sticky slick of your arousal enhancing the gloss, making your panties glisten under the light.
you're feeling an unfamiliar kind of shy under the weight of his attention, at how he must see how the fabric clings closely to your puffy, swollen folds — the delicate weave exposing the shape of your taut pussy, practically weeping for his touch.
you needn't have asked, for gojo was already diving into deliver.
he's gliding his index finger over your dripping pussy, letting the tangy syrup sink onto his fingers, leaning in to press a sweet, almost innocent kiss to your clothed cunt, "she seems desperate for me, don'tcha think, heh?"
the sound of the fabric ripping is sharp and wet, a squelching and almost fleshy tone, a sound that's both soft and sharp to the blood rushing between your ears. a strained tear of your beautiful panties, leaving cool air to gently leave a kiss of its own upon your cunt.
you gape at him, a bit too stunned to find coherent words, "hey, what the f-fuck! those were like super expensive!"
gojo rolls his eyes, the kind of look that has a bit too much attitude for someone who's practically begging on his knees for a taste of you, "don't get all huffy on me, sweetheart. 'm gonna buy you more, is tha' alright?"
"i'll r-remember that, satoru," you murmur, giving a sharp tug at his white strands, "you gon' have to give me your number now."
gojo shudders, the muscles in his back rippling underneath his tight shirt, "was already gonna," and he's back to pressing soft, kitten licks to your now exposed folds, small circles over your throbbing clit.
you buck your canting hips closer to the heat of his mouth, to where the pink tip of his teasing tongue peeks out of a pretty mouth, "satoru, c'mon. can't you just, fuck—"
you sharply cry out as he presses his mouth forward, a sudden surge of heat jolting through you. burying himself deep, his nose brushing against the sweet, syrup that coats your pussy, and the rhythmic, wet movements of his tongue send shivers through your entire being.
"mhm, jus' as sweet as you look, baby," gojo gasps, swirling and flicking his tongue, teasing you with every deliberate patter of the muscle near your winking entrance. so messy, slick and you're not sure where he ends and you begin as it all glides together carnally.
gojo seems languidly tipsy, just from munching through the gloss of your cunt, far more intoxicated from your taste than any cheap christmas liquor. he alternates between pushing his tongue past the ring of your tight walls, and then wrapping his lips around the searing pulse of your clit, leaving your hips shaking and dragging over his mouth, smearing yourself over his chin.
you're fisting delicate white locks with fierce urgency, and he hisses and then chuckles into your pussy, "tch! ease up there for me, yeah? jus' move your hips like you were doin' before," and you comply, angling yourself better so he can flatten his tongue against your folds, jaw grinding deeper into you "hah, yeah, just like that."
"taking good care of you though, aren't i? wait, say it. say that 'm making you feel good," and he's bullying a long finger into your gummy walls, clingy and sopping, "say 'm making you feel better than a-anyone ever has," and you just mewl as your arousal must surely be dripping down his forearms, staining the cuffed sleeve of his shirt as he takes your sweet juices down his throat.
there's stars beginning to twinkle at the edge of your vision, and you know you must be close, for your heart is practically dancing a heavy beat against your ribcage, and you suddenly push his mouth away, watching as a clear strand of spit or your slick forms a taut bridge between his mouth and your folds.
"w-wait, satoru, s-stop."
gojo's head lifts, eyes blinking as if coming out of a faze. but then, like a switch, something sharp flickers behind his gaze and concern floods in. his thin brows furrow slightly, glossy lips parting as he reaches out, as if to steady your hips, "you okay, sweetheart? what's wrong?"
your heart stutters, pounding so loudly you're sure he can hear it. you try to steady your breathing, but the tremour in your fingertips betray you as they gently slide through your hair, the silky strands tangling around your hand.
"nothin' wrong, 'toru. but i was gonna cum," and gojo's face, still flushed and soft with arousal, splits into a shy, amused grin.
"hah, i know. that's what i wanted," he's close enough that you can feel the warmth of his breath hitting your aching cunt, but you shake your head again.
"feels unfair, wanna see you too. wan' you to cum in me,"
you watch, almost in awe, as a low and guttural sound escapes gojo satoru, raw and unfiltered. gojo runs his tongue over his lips, his eyes dark with something dangerously close to hunger.
"you sure?" and his voice is hoarse, unsure despite his roaming gaze. you nod, your hands digging into his shoulder, tugging at the crisp fabric of his dress shirt, desparate to feel the warmth of his skin underneath.
his shaky laugh of disbelief only makes you more aroused, whining for him to hurry up, and before you know it, he's standing up, towering over your boneless form on the sheets.
"how could i deny you anything?" he murmurs, echoing your earlier words. gojo's hands reach for the hem, the fabric shifting as he pulls it over his head, revealing a milky expanse of toned skin, smooth and taut over a set of abs that should easily land him on a gq list.
his waist is slender, defined in all the right places, and the soft taper of muscles make your breath catch. but the soft white trail of hair that reaches under his waistband makes your cunt clench.
"y'seem happy with the view, don'tcha?" gojo's voice is teasing, the cocky smirk tugging at his lips, but you can hear the impatience threading his tone now too. he's not as in control as he lets on, his hands now making quick work of his belt, leaving your mouth dry when he finally pushes his black boxers down.
you should have known that his cock would be as pretty and unfairly gorgeous as the rest of him. he's circling the strawberry-red tip, glowering and throbbing, right over your gathered slick, coating it and smacking the mushroom head in a thwack! over your poor clit, leaving you jolting as he laughs and leans down to kiss you sweetly once more.
"jus' look at me, yeah?" his drawl is slow, lazy and so ruined. at the first inch of his throbbing cock that slips through your walls, he looks utterly undone. a mess of sharp edges softened by something far more primal and raw.
gojo's head tips back, exposing the elegant line of his neck as the moonlight cascades over you, "hey, sweetheart, 's not too much, yeah?"
hazy blue eyes bore into you, and for a brief moment, in the time it takes for the lightning to strike the earth, you swear that his eyes glow. almost radiant and jewel-like, with cerulean fractals shimmering as if they're emitting life of their own. perhaps its simply the electrifying stretch of inches that's rendering you to hallucinate, whining as your nails find purchase in milky skin and rippling shoulders.
"i-it's big, 'toru," you pant, feeling him almost shudder at the clipped name again, as he grips the base of his cock to bully the final inch in, sighing in contentment as he finally bottoms out, with a wet pop!
gojo looks feral like this, heaving a breath through his mouth as though the air is being taken from him from every second he spends stretching you out on his fat shaft, "hah, 'm glad, i'm so glad i met you tonight, sweetheart. fuck, fuck, y'feel i-incredible."
he's pushing your thighs further back, running his hands over the plush skin, leaving bruising red prints that won't disappear tomorrow as you moan, wanton into his open mouth, letting gojo run his lips down your jaw and into the curve of your neck.
you're practically now folded in half under the bulk of his weight, feeling stars collide in absolutely astrophysical ways, impaled further on the long and thick length of his cock, "in so deep, s-satoru."
seems that gojo is a man of little mercy, for he seems only all the more invigorated by your squeals, drawing his torso back to watch the hypnotic smack of skin on skin, of your slick and creamy froth creating fresh rings over his pistoning cock.
he's entirely out of control, as you feel your body go limp from the pleasure shooting through every nerve and pore.
depraved.
you don't realise you might have let that slip out loud, so dizzy in your cockdrunk haze because gojo's suddenly ramming himself roughly in you, as though he was desperate to have his cock kiss your cervix, to feel for every divot and nook of your cunt's walls.
"d-depraved, hah. people call me, fuck, p-people call me a lotta things, sweetheart," and gojo's so good with it, letting your pussy have not even one moment to take reprieve, having you feel each vein and bulge of his cock, "but depraved is n-new."
the hand that was dancing over your thighs flies to your swollen, aching clit. practically glistening for his attention, and his attention you did receive, "right, t-there! 'toru, mmph!" you're trying to splay your legs wider, giving his quick hand more room to swirl tight circles where you needed him most.
your double-vision gaze lingers on the ripple of his muscles, the way his arms flex and shift as he seems intent on angling you just right for him to drill his cock over and over, at some freakish and feverish pace, "y'so good, gojo," you purr, and your nails curl against his arms, pressing just enough to leave tiny crescents in his skin, the faint dampness of his exertion clinging to him, "s-so strong!"
something shifts. the glow is back, electric blue flooding his eyes like crackling storm clouds. it's almost unnerving, this unearthly brightness, as if he's some ancient god wrapped up in human skin, and you've just stumbled into a divine revelation.
gojo stills for the briefest moment, the thick head of his cock snagging on your puffy folds as he draws himself almost entirely out. the absence of motion makes you whine, an airy and impatient sound escaping your throat. that hesitation feels like a tease, like a string that's been pulled so taut, before he finally dives forward, capturing your mouth in a messy, heated kiss. sloppy in its disregard.
"s-so strong, huh?" gojo's voice is rough, shaky, as though he's trying to centre himself but your tight pussy holds him in hypnotic sway, "y-you think so? think i'm the strongest?" his lips brush yours as he speaks, and there's something almost boyish and charming in the way that he seems to be fishing for a compliment, despite the low heat in his voice.
you pull back from his wet, spit-stringed lips. just enough to wrap your hands around his neck and push him closer, deeper into you as he gutturally groans, "if i s-say yes, are y'gonna keep showing off?"
gojo's laugh is short, breathless, "y-yeah, wanna see?"
he makes quick work of pushing himself back into you, pumping himself so far in that your slick must be painting and sopping the white hairs at the base of his cock almost translucent, "o-oh my god, 'toru, fuck, oh my god!" the stretch has your head spinning, as if the skies are parting above you, and you're melodramatically left to see the light of divinity as gojo bucks his hips harshly into you. as if he's too far gone, needs to prove himself to you with a good fuck.
"you h-have to say it," gojo stutters, his words tumbling out so quickly, like rough gravel, "say it, fuck, c'mon. say i'm — say i'm the s-strongest. you have to, hnghh, god. please, jus' agree, okay?" his voice is cracking, that cocky veneer entirely shattered under the weight of his rambling desperation as he practically rummages through your sopping insides, "y-you feel it right, i mean, you can feel me — i mean."
a high whine escapes your throat as his pace becomes almost olympian, and you wonder faintly how you haven't managed to sprain a muscle or break a bone yet, how he hasn't managed to shatter something with the sheer pace and force of how gojo satoru fucks, "hah, 'toru. i'm —"
"close? g-god, i hope so. 's what i want. nothing, like n-nothing feels better than this right?" his words are falling out of him in a messy, pussydrunk rush, his eyes flickering between your face and down to where your pussy lips are bulged around his shaft, "so good, right? the b-best thing you've ever —"
you truthfully don't even hear the rest of his words, blood absolutely roaring and rearing in your ears, your ribcage as you feel the tight coil snap, letting out short, slurred snaps of his name when you cum. as he doesn't quite let up on smacking his hips right against your ass, "s-satoru, 's getting s-sensitive, oh, fuck. fuck!"
he's suddenly whining, with pleading and erratic blue eyes chasing after you, sloppily pushing down so he can gasp and pant into your open mouth, before capturing you in a heart-stopping kiss as he finally gets milked dry by your pulsing and fluttering walls. in awe of how creamy white is practically leaking out of you, dripping a stringy trail over the flesh of your thighs.
you're agape at how utterly fucked he looks right now, though you're certain you do not look much better as fat tears prick at your eyes, streaming past your ears from the overstimulation, "s-still fillin' me up, 'toru. god, do ya always cum this much?"
at first, you don't even get a response from gojo who just sinks his teeth into the juncture of your neck, almost as if he's trying not to cry out, but then he's back to circling your clit with a rough hand, "makin' me sound like some kinda whore, s-sweetheart. 'n and i told you. don't do this m-much."
and now he's slowing down, pleasurably painful bucks of his hips keeping glossy, white seed in you. ensuring that it coats your entire entrance, "an' it's not my fault that she," and here, he gives your clit a small smack! grinning like a madman, "n-not my fault that she's so, hah, addictive."
each tight circle of his hand on your clit sends you hurtling into yet another orgasm, one that has you begging gojo for mercy, repreive, for more. an orgasm that has him whispering the sweetest nothings into your ear, "d-don't worry, gotcha like this. gonna let you rest n-now, jus' gotta relax for me."
by the time he's slipping his still somehow hard cock out of your creamed cunt, you can feel exhaustions heavy and caring hands caress you, rendering your body limp and boneless. your eyes heavy and hazy, but you can feel a soft ghost of gojo's kiss over the shell of your ear, "h-hope y'still here in the morning, sweetheart. don't leave, yeah?"
the morning sunlight filters through the blinds, and despite the ache in your limbs that cricks your bones, you drag yourself out of bed. christmas day, after all. you've thrown on gojo's dress shirt from last night, snug enough to flutter around your hips, but oversized enough around the shoulders to let you drown in it.
it's cozy though, and even the chilly air feels refreshing against the warmth clinging to you. gojo is still sound asleep, and you had smiled at how he took little puffs of air as he was passed flat out in bed. but you always like to be up early on christmas, and there's something about the holiday that makes you feel like you need to earn the right to nap later.
you wander around the bedroom for a bit, stretching your legs as your muscle protest in earnest. eventually, you decide to make your way to that kitchen. breakfast, right.
it seems like a good idea, especially considering the last thing in your stomach was a questionably sour vodka. so you pull open the fridge, expecting something befitting of this apartment. perhaps a slab of wagyu beef, a tin of caviar, a thick block of pistachio-cream dubai chocolate. you'd even settle for sushi.
instead, you're left staring back at a stack of candy canes, some strawberry yoghurt, a carton of milk and some fast food wrappers. despite your protesting stomach, a deep amusement washes over you. it doesn't surprise you that gojo would have a fridge stocked with food you'd find at a child's birthday party and a greasy diner.
still, breakfast is in order and because you can't help it, you pull out a candy cane and start unwrapping it. you're just about take a bite when you hear the unmistakable pad of footsteps. you turn, face to face with someone who would clearly not be out of place on a vogue covershoot.
gojo hasn't tossed on a shirt, and the sunlight filters over his chiselled physique before your sight is stolen by the loose sheet wrapped around his waist. delicious. you try to snap your gaze back to his face, but it's hard to not track your gaze down his torso, like a cat eyeing a particularly irresistible sunbeam.
"good morning to you too," gojo says, a grin curling his lips, "what are you doing?" his voice is still thick with interrupted sleep, laced with a morning rasp that forces you to ground yourself and stop falling prey to the god, eros and his machinations.
"breakfast, 'm starving."
"don't bother," gojo says, shaking his head, "we can go somewhere nice for breakfast. like real, actual food. don't think you want half-eaten yoghurt."
you nod enthusiastically, mind turning back to the peeling seal of the strawberry yoghurt with a spoon sticking out of it. but then, something else catches your mind's attention. a little curiosity piques, one that you cannot help but ask him.
"wait," you begin, snapping your teeth around the saccharine mint of the candy cane, "y'know what's crazy. like, i swear your eyes glowed last night. not even in a silly compliment way, but like electricity. i thought i was like, losing it.'
you expect gojo to brush it off with a wink, or maybe laugh it off like you're just teasing him. but instead, the man's face shifts, that cocky smile faltering for the briefest moment. it's gone so fast that you think you almost imagined it. but why does he look...almost guilty?
before you can process that, you realised you've leaned yourself over the counter, and in your absent-mindedness, your elbow presses a button on the answering machine. a small beep, and suddenly, a voice blares through the room,
"hey, gojo-sensei!" comes a high-pitched, distinctly teenage voice, an excited boy who sounds a little crackly over the speaker, "so, we found this grade one curse yesterday...and uh, we totally got rid of it. we were gon' call you, but you didn't pick up. but i almost got my arm torn off. wait, no! that sounds dramatic, i got shoko to look at it anyway. so what we're all wondering right is that we don't have to hand in any homework now right? as like reparations?"
the voice crackles off, leaving an eerie silence in its wake. you stand there, absolutely dumbstruck, staring at the answering machine like it's about to burst into flames or start singing christmas carols.
gojo, meanwhile, has the most awkward look on his face, clearly caught between embarrassment...and what? panic, amusement?
"satoru, what the fuck?"
he looks at you for a moment, but instead of speaking, he lets out a long and exasperated sigh before pulling out one of the counter chairs, "you're gonna want to sit down for this one, sweetheart."
#gojo satoru#gojo smut#gojo satoru smut#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x you#gojo satoru x you#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk#jjk smut#works#jjk gojo#satoru gojo#gojo x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jjk x you#i love writing gojo and comparing him to fresh berries and cream 🍓😙#daphworks
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