#this one lowkey killed me but it here
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Circle Member of the Week: Maryse Trueblood
“There were only ever two kinds of people in the world for Valentine. Those who were for the Circle and those who were against it. The latter were enemies, and the former were weapons in his arsenal. I saw him try to turn each of his friends, even his own wife, into a weapon for the Cause — and you want me to believe he wouldn’t have done the same with his own son? I knew him better than that.” - City of Ashes
Not sure if I’ll get to post one of these next week but still feel free to comment who you want to see next! I’m thinking Jocelyn in less y’all have a different idea.
Previous: (x) (x)
#yasss queen trust no one#it’s so much harder to do the families without symbols I’m like wtf do I put#this one lowkey killed me but it here#my graphics#the shadowhunter chronicles#tsc#the circle of raziel#the secret treasons#maryse lightwood#maryse trueblood
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Kusakabe, dear, you're too beautiful to be saying that kind of stuff
#jjk spoilers#All the prettiest characters were brought back from apparent death#Nobara was okay and it's true that when I read the lawyer's and Kusakabe's fights against Sukuna I thought it was being kept vague#but to pull a Nobara with all of them... idk#No one stays dead here except for the people who actually care for the kids and by that I mean 'including Yuuji'#kinda lowkey bitter about it#Don't get me wrong I like the characters and also they're super pretty but idk It makes death feel cheap? And the high stakes kinda fake?#Choso Gojo and Nanami actual only characters who died apparently#Well. Poor Itadori#And Kusukabe goes and runs his mouth that way in front of the kid. He is not entirely wrong but also he very much is#And yes he also says 'don't worry it's not for you to feel guilty over anything you're just kids' but also he did very much say that thing#about it all being Gojo's fault for not killing Itadori. In front of Itadori who feels guilty for that precisely#and in front of Megumi who asked Gojo to spare him and also went through the experience of Sukuna using his body as well#So Kusukabe's reassurance about them just being kids and not to feel guilty falls a bit empty#It does feel in character but man it truly makes one appreciate the way Gojo and Nanami dealt with the kids a lot more haha#Ui Ui seems like a dear#Anyway... this chapter felt a bit lame for the most part for me? I like the idea of the characters discussing the could have/would have#and feeling guilt and helplessness over their choices but the way it was done felt a bit lame and without any real emotional punch#It felt more like an explanation to the reader in an awkward way. And there's a lot of empty chat about guilt and grief#without any of the characters really giving off a grieving air about everything and everyone they've lost#And this is precisely what I felt was going to happen with this manga's writing haha#I truly don't understand this kind of writing choices. Contrary to some other shonen writers this author did seem to have the potential#to write this kind of thing well besides the worldbuilding and powers and fight stuff. It's truly a pity. It so breaks my heart#And still this is considered one of the good shonens. Well. WELL haha#I do think shonen can be good! I just think it falls almost always even when there's potential into bery shallow writing#I don't know. Maybe I should read that one Alchemist manga#I've been repeatedly told that one's good and it does seem like it doesn't do... this. But I find the art style so not to my linking#I wish I had never gotten into JJK for real for real. I absolutely adore it. I always end up frustrated. It could be so good. Genuinely good#And yet it's just okay in a sort of forgettable way. What a pity#Everything good ever is present but it never dares do anything to fully explore what it sets. It just does the typical shonen stuff
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oohh my goodness would you look at that. its the tristamp version! at last!! ill admit- this has been all but finished for uuhhh weeks! its been weeks. the only thing ive needed to do is the ampersand. that lil "&" that you see? thats the only thing i needed to do. i just didnt want to.
BUT ITS DONE!! its done and if you want heres the links to the tri98 version and the trimax version
#art#my art#digital art#digital drawing#digital illustration#fanart#trigun#tristamp#trigun stampede#vash the stampede#how long ago did i post the progress of this one... i dont want to look....#OUUUUU BACK IN JUNE!!!#goddd if you thought there wasnt gonna be a tristamp version of this at all you were so close to bein right i was so close to just never#finishing this LMAOOO (crying)#ITS THE FONT!!! I HATE COPYING FONTS!!!!#genuinely this was the EASIEST font to copy and THATS what got me#i mean thats not the only thing ive been lowkey a lil sad but yaknow im always like that so#that arm also... and his gun.... killed me... i remember....#for a pacifist this man absolutely slaughtered me#also since im here i might as well vent abt my life im sure no one cares lol who even reads the tags#anyways my toilet broke so that sucks ever since i got back from a trip back in early june itd been squeakin like CRAZY idk if i mentioned#it before in the tags of a different post but itd been drivin me wild like i started hearin it even when i wasnt in my apartment id just#hear the squeaking of my toilet at the grocery store. itd been destroyin my sleep fr i felt so paranoid constantly i had no idea if it was#ever stopping anyways the part that had been sqeakin like. BLEW UP or smn i havent a clue what happened but i heard water runnin in it open#d it up n got blasted in the face with toilet water that was miserable. my granma came over to check it out n the same thing happened to he#then my neighbor came over n got blasted too. called my landlord and a plummers gonna come over tomorrow i have no idea when so i probably#wont be able to sleep at all thatll be fun lol#i feel bad for anyone that does read the tags i hope no one does i always feel a little worried abt it bc i always read the tags on posts#but anyways its been a time. life is life is life. its been spittin on me. i wanna draw more trigun stuff#gosh finally havin this finished feels like a massive weight off my shoulders i havent even wanted to draw anything until i finished this
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i HAVE to keep the daigo plush locked away lest i squeeze it every five minutes to alleviate the cuteness aggression i feel whenever i see it
#snap chats#being without my computer charger has been maddening#that makes me sound terminally online and its because i am. its also cause all i ever wanna do is draw :((#AND I ESP WANNA WORK ON MY COMMS NOOOOO FUCK#i mean i was at least able to read through yakuza’s bias vol 2… so theres that…#MY SCHOOL STORE DIDNT HAVE LAPTOP CHARGERS i had to order one… hopefully it gets here Overnight like i asked….. if not ill kill#anyway. daigo plushie so cute :((((((((((((((((#mine cute too but theres just something especially squeezeable about daigo#alas.. thats what the aoki plush’ll be for. my personal stress toy ☠️☠️☠️☠️#lowkey i wish i also got ichi but then i remenbee they made him pale as all hell and Yeah Im Not Putting Money To That#THE SMALLEST BIT OF A TAN I BEG YOU RGG WHY IS HE SO PALE IT DONT LOOK RIIIIGHT :((((#anyway.. i have my last class in half an hour… lemme drink this tea…#also Lowkey obsessed with my outfit today.. its that butterfly shirt + gold accessories since theyre monarch butterflies#tho Lowkey 2x the black and yellow remind me of the watase blokes from gaiden…… wack…..#ok bye its tea time#help one of my roommates just came home and she just announces like. ‘man those edibles were. OUGH’#calling my dad to pick me up nooo im a lame straight edge dont talk about drugs around me ill scream and cry LMAO#ok im done byebye lemme drink this good god
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IT'S HEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
#AHHHHH HAPPY NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE CAST ALBUM DAY!!!!!!#lowkey sad it won't be on Spotify for a while but I am going to MILK THE SHIT out of it on Youtube#and I have other means of listening to it as well while I wait for it to be on Spotify hehe#ANYWAY AHHHH STARKID DID IT AGAIN#starkid#nerdy prudes must die#npmd#starkid npmd#nerdy prudes must die cast album#THE QUALITY OF THIS ALBUM?!???!?!?!#I cannot WAIT for the proshot- CAN OCTOBER 13 GET HERE SOONER#me as a graduate student listening to high school is killing me on my way to class#that one meme that's like “do you ever wonder what is going on inside someone's head” *BLASTING the NPMD soundtrack
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Me, too busy with grad school to participate, watching everyone else in the Kirby fandom participate in the OC tournament and art fight
#text post#I wish I could have joined in but I’m an overworked stressed out grad student lmao#I forget if I’ve mentioned this on here before but I’m working on getting my PhD#I hopefully only have a year or so left before I get it and then I’ll be Doctor Sweet#this is going to be a stressful year oh boy 🥲 grad school is lowkey kind of killing me I hope I can finish in the next year#I like what I study it’s just a lot mentally at times and I’ve been feeling kind of depressed lately#I feel bad that I take so long to post art on my blog and update my comic#I really do enjoy drawing Kirby stuff I’ve just got a lot going on in real life and am not always feeling the best mentally#so sometimes I don’t have the time or the mental energy to draw but I am working on the next comic page! I have one panel left to do for it#I’m hoping to post it by this coming weekend Meta Knight starts fighting Whispy on this next page#thank you everyone for your patience it means a lot to see people liking my stuff even if I take forever to post it#I have so much stuff I want to draw and share but not enough time or energy to do it 🥲
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really wish there was a tag that separated “I’m having Big Angry and/or Angsty Opinions about Star Wars” from “I’m goofing off with Star Wars I’m playing in the sandbox none of this is real so yes I will make my blorbo and this random glub shitto go on an adventure that makes no logical sense” posts because there’s too much of the former and not enough of the latter for my current mental state
#starlight personal#the good news is that I finally have another ketamine appt scheduled and it’s sooner than I thought they’d have an opening#the bad news is that the appointment is not tomorrow and we’re kinda at the end of my mental-emotional rope#now kids this is what we call: an inherent flaw in my treatment plan that cannot be removed#because pretty much in an ideal world I’d have ketamine appointments every 6 weeks but 1) expensive and probs can’t afford that#2) they don’t have enough availability for that to be realistic 3) can’t take off of work THAT frequently without consequences#4) I would probably start to doubt reality if I was tripping that frequently 5) I don’t think docs would allow it#treatment resistant depression and anxiety my beloathed if we could just chill that’d be great#treatment resistant PMDD my other beloathed someday I will do my damnedest to cut you out of my body#idk not to be too selfpitying on main but god it fucking sucks that I appear to be doomed to another cycle based mood thing#PMDD means I get two good weeks two bad weeks#ketamine being the only effective treatment for whatever my brain’s got going on means two good months followed by x bad months#until my next appointment#which like! two good months is better than no good months I am grateful that something helps#I just wish it was a more convenient help and it could be applied more consistently than my psych office provides#also wish I didn’t have to call them 3 times to get it scheduled but it is what it is#also also wish that I had fewer of the physical side effects of my anxiety and wouldn’t wake up puking the min things are rough#this is all to say: I want silly SW headcanons and droid headcanons and silly fic ideas and not Everyone is Always Suffering#but I’m also too lazy (I.e brain cannot make decisions rn) to search for new tags that may give me more silly#which means time to browse my bookmarks for good good comfort fics I have saved I suppose#(this is lowkey why i want to physically fight everyone i know who’s like ‘yeah meds would help but idk :/‘ like!!!!!!!!#bro it’s a privilege to have access to meds and it’s a privilege to have a body that doesn’t turn on you the min you take one!!!!#just try 10mg of zoloft I would kill for 10mg of zoloft to not make me entirely incapable of functioning!!!)#I don’t mean that - you have a right to take or not take medication and everyone’s reasons may be their own#I just had my body and have some rough feelings around treating my issues being so expensive and inconvenient#and then feeling guilty b/c I know I’m lucky that I can afford it and can take off of work for it when I need to#like I am pretty lucky to have something that works and to have a care team that helped me get here#so I don’t wanna be ungrateful or unappreciative of my own luck in this and the work that went into getting here#I’d just also like it if I could change the circumstances slightly#make treatment on the weekends an option - get my psych office to have more than 2 trip sitters so scheduling isn’t so bad
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I'm so very proud of myself for having restraint and not responding to stupid takes about the 8x09 fake text debacle.
#which one is ''pure evil'' sending a lowkey manipulative text or trying to kill your brother's best friend?#don't get me wrong i was very entertained by sam's jealous rage but it honestly baffles me when people try to claim that he was being#rational and level-headed here#and then to claim that dean was the one who went to far???#okay i said i wasn't responding but now i literally am i need to shut up now lol
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thank goodness i chose to wait for dr to finish kali cause OH MY GOD if it was up to my own diamonds everyone would've died on the spot not a single person would've survived
#im willing to spend diamonds for the sake of the story don't get me wrong#but here every single choice matters???#i didn't some in s2 and im STILL paying for that???#from what i've seen in the walkthroughs i think the only one dying is rishi#that's a shame though i actually like him#but maybe he won't??#and amrit ofc i literally saw him dying in everyone's playthrough#now i also want to kill pryianka but i didn't get the fucking diamond choice 20 chapters ago#i'm so 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄#lets see how it'll play out for me#(its the next chapter)#lowkey scared#romance club#kali call of darkness
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actually it'd be great if an asthma attack would kill me about now
#so the main system has somewhat of a friendship with our neighbor who is. well we don't feel particularly safe with him tbh#he's lowkey a transphobic conservative but we didn't find that out until we'd already hung out multiple times#he's also a stoner and works at a local dispensary#so we see him pretty frequently and it's not exactly like we can back out. it's not a wonderful situation but it's what it is#well. most nights I come outside and smoke on our floor's back deck. I sit right outside our door (corner unit so we have one)#there's only one door for the rest of the floor which is on the other side of the deck from our door#he's out here. I have NEVER seen him out here this late. it's 3 AM.#I do NOT want to talk to him or engage with him at all. I don't want him to see me#I'm lucky he hasn't yet.#the only reason he hasnt is because the light on this side is burnt out and it's pretty shadowy where I am#but I can't keep smoking or he'll notice#and I can't get up to go back inside or he'll notice#he's literally right across from me like 15 meters away#it's 3 AM!!!!! go back inside!!!!#he won't. I know he won't. I'm fucking trapped#please. please kill me.
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im a lil embarrassed that most of the posts ive posted (duh) as of late were text posts abt me being sick LMFAO n it feels silly to write this but i think i may log out of this acc for a lil while at least on mobile <3
#not being able to write is making me feel a lil dizzy dizzy#a lil embarrassed a lil 'i do not belong' ya know???#hm yeah i also need to get off my phone bc i start uni next week and i need to wake up early and im soooo stressed bc of another uni thingy#so...i will be deactivating 😔👊#im joking im joking#ofc i wont deactivate i think my shrink would kill me if i did anyway /hj#she was the once that convinced me to make the writing blog#but rn the internet doesnt feel good to me and i need to be more present and more real and prioritise other aspects of my life#i wanna be more stable and journal and move my body and read books bc i like the feeling of the paper and and#i had the sweetest ask ever about my book recs and i was also a lil embarrassed to respond bc im not much of a reader but i try TT#anyway !! aside from this mildly incoherent ramble which i loved writing ngl#i havent been writing a lot and i think ive lowkey un-hyperfixated on tr and jjk so the inspo isnt inspoing#and tbh that feels a lil awful to say bc tr has taught me so many things and helped me grow and im so painfully in love with shin but idk#idk what happened i think i just hit a lil bump in the road of life and the stress has me focused more on real life and other things than#my darling beloveds. and im sure itll pass like most things in life i will feel good again#but rn it doesnt. i havent even caught up with the latest ep of tr :') but nonetheless writing is one of my truest loves as well#so i will comeback hopefully with a few stories mapped out including a lil gojo series and all that fun jazz :D#i have shin naoto izana gojo and toji in store !! and tbh im not ready to just leave them all behind#ANYWAY OKAY this' gone for too long LMFAO but thank u if u read till here i think i needed to rant#that means ill probably be less active than im already am but ill be back !!#still i dont think this exactly qualifies as a hiatus so i wont mark it down as such wait is this a semi-hiatus??? lmfao idk but eh 🤷♀���#i love love love love love yall so so so much and forevever and always will#MWAH#<3
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Going through the Utahim.e tag had me checking several times if at some point I had clicked on the G.ojo/Utahim.e one instead
#It's mainly the ship and mainly ship art. Very pretty btw. There's people with gorgeous styles there#There isn't even a lot of x reader fics haha I guess people don't want to bang Utahime?#Anyway... lowkey wished this happened with Ijichi lol#I so wanted Ijichi to mention or even hint at a mention of Gojo one last time like they did with Nanami#If nothing else for the weight of it all. The weight of feeling your youth dying piece by piece alongside the people who made it out#And everything it implies#Art of Shoko dealing with Gojo's death even in a cold way always strikes hard for that motive but I always love it#with pretty much everyone of those years. There was one piece I saw once that was not explicitly or necessarily romantic about Utahime#being hit by Gojo's death and I don't recall exactly how it was (I think I may have queued it?)#but it moved me more than any piece more clearly emotional that I had seen before#I don't know. I thought it held the potential of that. That weird uncomfortable heartbreaking feeling#of hearing bad news about old friends or classmates and how it makes you realise the weight of time#They suffered and accident. They tried to kill themselves. They are very sick. Their sibling or parent died. And you knew these people#You saw them daily for years. Maybe you weren't close but you knew these people. They cut my bangs when I was eight and I punched them#I tripped over them playing hide and seek and we both lost at the same time. We both hated each other's favourite teacher#They borrowed my pen once and then never gave it back. I once drenched them at the fountain after PE and it was winter but they laughed#Their mother got mad though. Now she's dead. We were made to sit together in French class in middle school. They loved to keep their hair l#Now they're sick and have lost their hair#Their little sibling was so annoying always trying to make us play with them during recess too. It was kinda cute. Now they're dead#I don't know. That kind of stuff#Utahime boosts Gojo and then he dies. Shoko opens him up to make a tool of his body#Ijichi accompanies another kid to clean after him in the meanwhile. And then the realisation hits. He is dead#He was annoying. He was my friend. He was so rude#He had such a sweet tooth. He laughed so loudly. He used to lean over people when talking with them#We were kids once. We are here now. He isn't here anymore. Some of us haven't been here anymore for a long while. It's been so long#He was still young. I am still young. We felt so old. At times it feels as if the time back then didn't happen at all.#And now he's dead and oh it's true he was so annoying but he also had such a sweet tooth. I forgot. What do I do with this memory now?#At times it felt as if the time back then didn't happen at all but then at times it shone through. He brought it back#He asked me a favour knowing I wouldn't betray his secret. He still teased the same way. He still leaned on people. But now he's dead#I don't know if I'm explaining myself well xD I think it's a pretty common emotion when it happens.Oh I forgot to censore words again sorry
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Au
#Tbd#Anyone here played transistor by supergiant games#Anyone here who likes transistor and akeshuake#Bc hear me out: akeshu transistor au#Akechi is red and the sword. Uh. Boxer? Whatever his name is. Is Joker :)#I honestly don't have a lot outside of like#Shido and his lackeys are the ones who 'killed' joker#And if akechi wasn't planning to get revenge before he sure is now!#Still follows the plot of transistor just with some changes#The data they get for skills is probably the thieves considering in the game they were targeting famous people#Or at least people who have a lot of influence#And the thieves are kinda. Famous people even outside of the pt business lol#I don't have a lot of this au this is lowkey cus I love transistor#And also I want Joker to talk a lot and akechi to be forced to shut up I think it's hilarious#Also the angst of having akechi find the dead body of Joker after protecting him from being impaled by a weird sword :)#fish akeshu aus
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Majima is far farrrr and away by a country mile my favorite character in the entire franchise. But like ??? the anger over him only having a minor role in Y8 is so weird to me! Especially because we don't know how minor they mean. But even if he just shows up for three seconds to Wink Knowingly At The Camera that's fine. That's honestly fine. I am entirely abnormal in how much I adore this fictional man but he seriously does not have to be a majorly prominent character in every single game without exception. It makes the moments where he IS more involved have more impact if he's been off to the side for a while! Anyway I'm among those who'd totally love a Jima-centric spinoff or something but I won't lose sleep if it doesn't happen either. I'm rambling a lot at this point I'm so sorry but yeah. Tl;dr I get why people are upset but I don't vibe with the staggering amount of rage on display like goddamn people it's OK I promise -Malnourished Stoner Kazumaji Minedai Anon
never apologize for being your beautiful self malnorished stoner kazumaji minedai anon. MSKMA, even.
but yeah it is really funny like cmon. majima's gotten plenty of love from the franchise as of late i think we can all live with him being a minor character in a game that's supposed to be following ichiban anyways
#snap chats#it just has vegeta-fan energy yk what i mean. those from the db gang know what i mean#like he's already adored by the audience and creators- or a lot of the team at RGG anyway#you dont HAVE to make him The Most Important One In The Room other characters exist#fam have never heard of habituation and it shows like if majima was there ALL the time it'd just get boring#it's also just like. ridiculous lowkey LMAO#so many people are acting as though they killed majima or axed him from the game entierly#they just said he wasn't going to be a main/party member he's still here#funny stuff. this why i try not to touch fandom stuff but it also makes me want to touch it more cause it do be a lil funny
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tfw you have severe social anxiety but your dog has to be excited to see people and will just run up to them to sniff & meet them...
#don't get me wrong. I love the boy. I love him sfm.#and I really really love how much he's come out of his shell#when we adopted him he was afraid of everyone & everything. he hid from people and wouldn't go down narrow hallways or upstairs.#now he's!! incredibly social (still afraid of other dogs but he loves people)!!!#I love that for him. so much.#but like... dude pleASE I just wanted to quickly let you do your business please don't drag me over to those people#I want to scream every time I get back inside lmao.......#fortunately I've only had one actually BAD experience of him just running up to sniff people but like. please dude ur killing me here#anyway. I'm in a weird & lowkey awful spot mentally so idk if I'll be able to write tonight#but I may try later idk idk my brain is nothing but 'idk' on repeat please forgive me#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ OOC �� DON’T @ ME.
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#like lowkey really wanna stop living idk#idk#i know its not me but she makes me feel so unloveable like ill never be loved by anyone like the minute they get to know me theyll leave#like maybe they only like the front i put up and if they knew the real me theyd hate me like she hates me#i wish id never been born i feel so unwanted i literally just wanna die#if i didnt wake up tomorrow i would be so fucking happy#i dont even know anymore if i had more willppwrr maybe id just fucking kill her or myself and be done with this shit#fucking christ#i say something anything and she takes it and twists it until it paints me as a villain i dont know what to do#i literally said oh i feel carsick and she started screaming at me twlling me not to be selfish i fucking#i was about to puke#i had to shut my mouth for the next hour up the mountains while she talked like nothing was wrong#i dont know if im being unfair to her if my pov is painting her in a bad light or what#but it fucking hurts man#it hurts so much and i dont know what to do i just wanna stop living#why does she hate me so much what did i do that made her hate me so much what can i do to make her love me#shes supposed to be the mature one here but im always the one who stops fighting and withdraws so we can have some fucking peace in this ho#house#i crave the hours when shes out of the house because it means i can just exist without feeling guilty for it
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