#this moment has been stuck in my mind since i watch the livestream | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

seita · 4 years ago

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— live now: redlove | eijirou kirishima (m.)

pairing: eijirou kirishima/reader ft. katsuki bakugou.

genre: fluff, smut, pwp

wordcount: 𝟷𝟼𝟹𝟽

cw: cam couple!au, prohero!bakugou, established relationship

tags: voyeurism (bakugou’s pov), dirty talk, masturbation, humilation/degredation, begging, light praise, rough sex, doggy style, choking, hair pulling, light spanking, baku has a crush

note: i have no excuses for this lmao. i was originally gonna make this into a fic where bakugou joins u nd kiri but,,,i kind of want to make this like a series or something????

— bakugou enjoys porn. especially live cam porn. he discovers the cam couple redlove and is immediately smitten.

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next. the lottery: redlove ⇨

Bakugou watched porn. Just like every other guy on the planet. He enjoyed it, especially since as a pro-hero, he didn’t have the opportunity to get into sustainable relationships. He was the #2 hero so finding himself someone who wanted him because he was Katsuki Bakugou and not Ground Zero was near impossible.

So, he turned to porn. Sounds sad now that he thought about it but truthfully, he never thought twice about it. It was just the way things were.

More specifically, he had an interest in cam porn. The live stream kind. He couldn’t quite pinpoint why that was ― there was just something alluring about watching porn live.

Usually, he stuck to solo girl content, every once in a while he’d venture to the male side. It was only recently, however, that he discovered the booming community of couples cams.

Watching couples have sex live was even more enticing than watching men and woman masturbate or watching amateur porn. It seemed so intimate, watching these couples together. Almost forbidden.

And he was sure that was exactly what made him cum so hard every single time. He liked watching these couples have sex, feeling like he was seeing something he wasn’t supposed to.

Many times, he’d stroke his cock to the idea of being humiliated by a couple as he watched them together. Filthy thoughts and words filtered into his mind, his eyes closed as he panted to the idea. They’d call him disgusting, a pig for getting hard watching ― how only a slut would act as lewd as he did. Maybe they’d shame him; #2 pro hero Ground Zero a pathetic whore.

It wasn’t until one night, he laid in bed browsing the couple’s livestreams on his favorite website, he discovered one couple that immediately caught his eye. The thumbnail showed a redheaded guy with spiky hair sitting on the edge of the bed with a pretty girl with marvelously smooth skin sat behind him with her arms wrapped around his shoulders. The young man’s hair color must have been the inspiration behind their channel name: redlove. He could only assume they had just started the stream and were looking at comments when the picture set.

The stream was titled “We had a long day”. Bakugou couldn’t help but scoff at such a title, it was hardly enticing. Most streams had things like ‘watch me squirt until i cry!!!’ or “he makes my pussy hurt so good” or some other cringy shit. He would have been tempted to scroll past but he couldn’t deny just how attractive the couple was. Not to say there weren’t attractive people doing cam porn, no he’d seen his fair share of beautiful women and handsome men.

But redlove were stunning together. They looked like a perfect match, he could tell just by how you were holding him that just oozed affection for the redhead.

Another thing that caught the blonde’s eye was the view count: most cammers had in the double digits ― 20 or 30 viewers. Every once in a while he’d catch a particularly popular cammer and see a few hundred but it had never exceeded 200. So the live view count, the number of people watching them at that exact moment, was currently displayed on redlove’s stream link had him baffled.

Edging on 800 viewers. Sitting at 782.

It was clear the two of you were immensely popular. There had to be a good reason.

Curious and thoroughly intrigued, he tapped the screen of his phone to get into their stream.

It took a moment to buffer, all the activity with the chat making it lag a bit. When it finally finished loading, Bakugou felt like the air had been punched out of his lungs. His cock was immediately hard, straining against his boxers.

It was clear the two of you had been streaming for a while, judging by the fucked out blissful look on your face. Sweat glistened on your skin in the illuminating light of your bedroom.

You were on your hands and knees, your redheaded boyfriend on his knees behind you on a messed up bed, a pillow nearby that Bakugou assumed had been used to prop your hips up at one point. Your hair was wrapped tightly in his fist, using it for leverage as he hammered his cock into what Bakugou could only imagine was an absolutely dripping wet cunt.

The sounds you made were downright sinful, your lips swollen from no doubt kissing and biting. The redhead grunted suddenly, jerking you up onto your knees so your back was pressed against his chest. Bakugou couldn’t resist reaching down to palm his aching cock, throbbing and painful from neglect.

Your boyfriend groaned, glancing at the camera, “Everyone’s got a good view of your little cunt now, huh?” he growled moving his grip from your hair to your throat, “You like that, I can feel you squeezing me at the thought of all these people watching your pussy stretch on my cock. You’re stuffed so fuckin’ full you can barely stand it, isn’t that right?”

Bakugou couldn’t tear his eyes away from the scene. The4 dominance the redhead exuded rivaled his own and the way you so easily fell submissively to him was beautiful. There was so much trust in you ― knowing your boyfriend would take good care of you. Bakugou’s heart ached ever so slightly at the idea ― it was clear your relationship was a good one. It was something the pro hero would never hope to have himself.

You didn’t respond, your eyes rolling back in your head before closing. Your mouth was open, no sounds escaping due to the tight grip the redhead had on your throat. Your head rolled back to rest on his shoulder, legs spread to let him fuck your hole with everything he had. Your weight was braced completely on him, your partner dutifully supporting your body as you let him have his way.

With his free hand, he palmed your breast, pinching your nipple harshly to make you keen. Bakugou felt his cock throb at the sound. It was so whiny, pathetic. You were so completely submissive and at the mercy of your boyfriend. And you were loving every second of it.

Bakugou couldn’t deny he enjoyed witnessing it himself.

Your cunt was stretched wide, the HD camera giving spectacular quality to the way your juices dripped down the length plunging into your body. It dripped off of his balls and down your thighs. So fucking messy.

The redhead’s cock was big, something Bakugou himself could even feel envious of despite his own well-endowed size. Your cunt was tight, no doubt requiring a good amount of preparation to take him. He wondered if you enjoyed the stinging burn of pain when you took the cock. The blonde made a mental note to check out your part streams later.

“Gonna...gonna cum,” you gasped, warning your boyfriend.

He scoffed, sounding annoyed, “Do it then. I don’t give a shit.”

“Please, can’t!” you sobbed, finally opening your eyes to look up at him. He wore a cocky grin, knowing your pleasure laid in his hands.

“Why?” he teased, abandoning his hold on your breast to travel down the soft skin of your stomach, pausing right above where you needed him, “You need me to touch your little clit, hm? Is that what it is?”

You nodded desperately, grinding your hips down every time he sunk his cock into you, hoping to get more than you were being given, “Please!”

“Alright,” he sighed, pressing a kiss against your temple. The gesture was oddly soft and intimate in comparison to the harsh, punishing pace of his cock, “You had a long day. I’ll be nice. You better thank me for making this greedy little cunt cum.”

Finally, his fingers reached your swollen clit. A couple practiced circles over the bud had you tumbling over the edge. Bakugou gripped his cock through the material of his boxers as he watched you tremble and moan as the redhead fucked you through the high.

Letting out a sob at the overstimulation when your boyfriend still didn’t stop when you came down, you choked out, “Th-Thank you!”

“Good girl,” your boyfriend grinned, letting you fall back into your original position with your face buried in the blankets. The redhead tossed his head back, gripping your hips as he fucked into you, chasing his own orgasm. He laid a few harsh slaps against your ass, making you whimper, flinching at the impact but not running from it. Bakugou could hear the sharp sound of his hand making contact with your skin. Now that you had cum, the redhead let himself go.

And he did. Your boyfriend let out a groan of pleasure, announcing his release. He didn’t pull out, pouring his hot cum into your overstimulated cunt.

Bakugou’s cock throbbed once, twice before he was spilling a load of hot cum into his boxers. The white cum oozed through the fibers as his thighs trembled.

When he came back to himself, he looked at the screen to find you had curled up on your side with a dreamy smile aimed at your boyfriend, Bakugou couldn’t help but smile at the screen at how cute you looked. He moved towards the camera with a grin, having already pulled out.

“Thanks for watchin’!” that was all he said before the screen went dark and bold white letters flashed over the screen that said ‘this stream has ended.’

Bakugou’s attention moved to the chat, checking to see what was being talked about.

The comment that caught his eye was, “Eijirou and ______ are literally the power couple of porn.”

Bakugou sighed. Eijirou and ______.

The names of his new favorite cam couple.

#bnha x reader #kirishima x reader #bakugou x reader #kirishima smut #bakugou smut #bnha smut #mha x reader #mha smut #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #eijirou kirishima x reader #kirishima eijirou x reader #afton.writes

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threecrowsinatrenchcoat · 3 years ago

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Paint My Spirit Gold

Dukeceit Week Day 2: Green/Yellow

Fans of the YouTubers "Deceit" and Remus "The Duke" Sanders start to suspect that maybe, just maybe, the two of them are more than simple internet pals.

AO3 Link: [here]

Word Count: 2187

Warnings: n/a

@dukeceitweek <3

[ID: A screenshot of a Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It features a watercolor-style painting of a snake. The snake appears to be made of melting chocolate, and there is a large bite taken out of its tail. Cherries and jam are leaking out of the snake at the bite wound. The snake's expression of horror is overly-exaggerated to the point of comedy. The caption reads: "liked your snake boi, @SerpenThyme. thanks for the inspo." /end ID]

A notification ding cut Janus off mid-sentence.

“Wow, someone left their cell phone on, so professional,” he said, giving the camera a dramatic eye roll. That someone was him, of course, because he was the only one in the apartment- just him and the running livestream- but that was no excuse not to be a drama queen about it. He finished wiping flour off his hands and grabbed his phone to silence it; but the notification made him pause. He flicked his eyes up toward the camera and gave a slight smirk.

“My goodness, I’m famous,” he drawled. “The Duke himself has graced little old me with some fan art.”

Most of the comments in the chat wanted him to show it, so Janus opened up Twitter to see the full post he’d been tagged in. It was a watercolor painting of the coiled-snake chocolate sculpture- lovingly named Jake by his viewers- he’d made for his YouTube video last week; it was wearing an expression of such comedic horror that Janus had to stifle a laugh. He flicked his phone screen toward the close-up camera on his counter so his viewers could see.

“How kind of you, Remus,” he said. “All of you should go scold him for what he’s done to poor Jake here.”

Most of his viewers would know he was joking- after all, they were the ones to nickname him Deceit when he provided neither a real or fake name for his online persona. They knew full well what he was like by now.

The oven timer dinged. Janus silenced his phone and set it aside.

“And our first batch of cookies is done. You know, why don’t we show the Duke some appreciation?”

[ID: An Instagram post by user @SerpenThyme. The photo is an artistically-framed shot of a stack of sugar cookies with green, yellow, and pink icing. Propped up against the stack is another cookie, with an intricate icing-drawing of an octopus. The photo appears to have been color corrected to have high contrast, low saturation, and a dark vignette at the edges. The Instagram user @OctoDukie is tagged. No caption. /end ID]

“You know, I have often been accused of actually being a little old lady, what with my fondness for knitted jumpers, rocking chairs, and incredibly fucked up murder mystery books. Today I am doing nothing to dispel this accusation, by making soup.”

The studio was dark and empty aside from Remus' workspace. Everyone else had left long ago, even his own brother, which meant that it was officially ass-o'clock in the morning (or, as most people called it, somewhere between 1 and 2 a.m.) But Remus was stuck in hyperfocus, honed in on putting the last touches on a commission that he'd been putting off for weeks. It's not that it was a tough painting- once he'd gotten started, it was actually a very creatively satisfying piece- but man, executive dysfunction could go suck a dick

“French onion soup, specifically. Because while I do like to pretend I am a classy bitch, I am also, regrettably, a lazy bitch with a distaste for anything that takes longer than one bottle of wine to make.”

Remus hated working in silence. It was stifling, almost suffocating. His brain needed noise like his lungs needed air. So when the studio had grown still and silent, Remus had flipped open his laptop and queued up some YouTube videos.

“So we have here three pounds of onions that we need to slice up, pole to pole. You’re going to cry no matter what, so if you have any memories you’ve been repressing since middle school, now is an excellent time to dredge those up.”

And if it happened to be 90% SerpenThyme videos, well. Sue him.

“Now the first rule of caramelizing onions: fast and sloppy is always better than slow and thorough… at least, that’s what every man I’ve ever slept with tells me.”

Remus choked and glanced over to his laptop screen just in time to catch Deceit's trademark smirk directed at the audience just for a moment. It was the deadpan delivery that always got him. Remus could barely hold onto a joke long enough to get through it without cackling mid-punchline, but this fucker could say the funniest shit like an off-hand comment.

He wiped his hands off on his jeans (what use were clothes if you couldn't use them as paint rags?) and pulled his laptop across the table. He typed out a quick comment, citing the timestamp of the joke, and after it was posted, he shut his laptop.

'Cause ass-o'clock was short for "get-your-ass-home-or-I’ll-kick-it" o'clock.

[ID: A screenshot of a YouTube comments section. The first comment is by user TheDuke, and reads: "10:42 wow, rude." The second comment is a reply by user SerpenThyme, and simply reads ";)" /end ID]

Janus plopped down on the couch with a slight groan. He didn’t need to stream today, but he really hated missing days. Besides… he was fine. Really.

He adjusted the camera until he was happy with the framing, and then checked the settings on his streaming software. Satisfied, he started the stream, and watched as his usual viewers rolled in.

“What do you mean I’m not in my kitchen?” Janus drawled, addressing the chat. He glanced around with an expression of faux-shock on his face. “My goodness, when did that happen?”

He chuckled, and then gestured to his surroundings. “Yes, we are in my living room today. If you must know, my closest and most trusted friend tried to murder me today- yes, Virgil, it was attempted murder and nothing less- and I survived with nary a scratch… and a broken foot, but that is beside the point. Anyway, I’m not allowed to stand for long periods of time, and I may or may not be somewhat inebriated by pain pills and couldn’t stand even if I wanted to. So we are cooking from my couch today.”

Janus paused for a few moments to read the chat messages as they popped up. A few get well soon’s, a few theories about the “attempted murder,” Virgil- who moderated his chat for him- vehemently denying the “attempted murder” but otherwise refusing to clarify the event, and a large volume of wtf why are you streaming today, take care of yourself comments, which made him smile. But one particular comment caught his eye, almost lost amid the torrent of an active chat: wait this kinda looks like the Duke’s living room?

“Oh, VampSuga,” he said, addressing that commenter in particular with a slight smirk. “I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about. Anyway, since I can’t reach my oven from here, I thought some no-bake cookies were in order. For these you will need-”

[ID: A screenshot of a Discord conversation. The text reads:

“VampSuga: Ok ok hear me out. Dukeceit.

Starstruck96: who?

IneffableSnek: lmao

FeralBeauYasha: lol

VampSuga: Deceit and Remus Sanders! They’re totally dating. I will die on this hill.

FeralBeauYasha: Isn’t the duke w/ PatPat?

IneffableSnek: no thats his brothers bf

FeralBeauYasha: ohh

VampSuga: Did anyone see Deceit’s stream today? I swear that’s the Duke’s livingroom.

StarStruck96: idk that seems like a stretch

IneffableSnek: no wait i kno what u mean

IneffableSnek: im watching the duke’s old videos and that one where he shows off all his old weapons he’s in a living room kinda like deceit’s

FeralBeauYasha: They were acting all cute on twitter too

VampSuga: DUKECEIT” /end ID]

"Hey guys, been a while since you've seen my face and not just whatever my hands are busy with, when it's within YouTube's terms and conditions I mean. They used to be way more lenient…" Remus trailed off for a moment, then shook his head sharply and plastered on a grin.

"Anyway! In June me and a few other creators did a fundraiser for the Trevor Project, and y'all smashed the goal, so I let you decide what video I'd make this month." He paused, and gestured to the mountain of clothes piled behind him on the bed. "And you had so many juicy ideas to choose from, but you decided to dress me up like a Barbie instead."

Remus paused to scroll through his phone for a few moments. "Ah, ok, here we go. Twitter user YoonIsMyCat- oh, BTS, nice- sent in this first outfit. Uh… future Remus, put up the post here somewhere." He gestured vaguely to his right. "Y'all went with either a fuckton more clothes or a fuckton less clothes, which I respect. Apparently this outfit is called…” He squinted at his phone. “Amish chic? I take it back, no respect at all.”

Remus cycled through the outfits his viewers sent in, which ranged from the aforementioned “Amish chic” to “2008 rave attire” to “ok now you guys are just fucking with me” (which consisted of one of those big puffy snow coats, lime green in color; booty shorts with the shrug text emoji across the ass; fuzzy pink boots; and a yellow cowboy hat to top off the whole thing. It was awful. Remus loved it.) The mountain of clothes on the bed gradually became a mess of clothes spread across the floor instead, until there was just one outfit left.

“Ok so Twitter user VampSuga sent me this outfit that I’m gonna call ‘sexy librarian.’ I couldn’t find this exact sweater online, but-” he paused for dramatic effect, before brandishing a sweater toward the camera like a bullfighter. “My boyfriend had something that was close enough.”

Remus hopped up from the bed and switched off the camera so he could change.

“They’re going to lose their minds,” a voice drawled from the doorway. Remus threw his shirt at him.

“Shoo, I’m getting naked.”

[ID: A Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It features a selfie of YouTuber Remus “The Duke” Sanders, a Hispanic man with his hair dyed green and styled into a spiked mohawk. He is wearing a yellow knitted cardigan over a black button-up shirt. He is grinning widely at the camera. The caption reads: “my viewers pick my outfits! now live on youtube. go see what i look like as a sexy librarian!” /end ID]

DukeceitStan

first and only dukeceit shipper ig

DukeceitStan

wow there’s so many of you now! Hi!!

DukeceitStan

i want this to be canon so bad omg

DukeceitStan

i mean just look

[image]

how

[image]

cute

[image]

[ID: A series of three gifs featuring Youtubers SerpenThyme, aka Deceit, and TheDuke, aka Remus Sanders. Deceit is a black man with long, dreadlocked hair, and vitiligo patches along the left side of his face. Remus is a Hispanic man with green-dyed hair styled into a mohawk, many ear and facial piercings, and tattoos covering both arms. Each gif is edited so that the highlights are tinged yellow when Deceit is seen, and tinged green when Remus is seen.

The first gif depicts a close-up shot of Deceit’s hands as he carefully decorates a cookie with green and yellow icing. The cookie art he is working on appears to be a half-finished octopus. The gif then fades into a mid-shot of Remus, with his back to the camera, facing a canvas. The canvas is blank, and Remus appears to be laying out paints on a table to his left.

The second gif depicts Deceit seated at his couch, facing the camera. He has many ingredients spread across his coffee table (including oats, cocoa powder, and butter) and appears to be in the process of laying out several more. The gif fades to show Remus seated at a similar couch with a similar coffee table in front of him. The camera is angled slightly downward to better show the myriad of knives spread out across the table. Remus is gesturing wildly with a morning star held in his hand.

The third gif depicts Deceit in his kitchen. He is pulling on a bright, yellow knitted cardigan, and smirking toward the camera. The gif fades to show Remus in his bedroom, seated on his bed. He is holding up a similar-looking cardigan toward the camera and grinning. /end ID]

“Remus, it’s almost two in the morning. Come to bed.”

“I’m coming, sorry. Twitter distracted me.”

“Mm. I can’t believe the bird app is more distracting than I am.”

“You should try harder.”

“Come to bed and maybe I will.”

“Ok, ok, I’m coming. Hang on though, is it cool if I post this?”

“Sure. They figured it out anyway.”

“Sweet. Ok, Jannie, I’m coming.”

[ID: A screenshot of a Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It reads: “Dukeceit is canon.” /end ID]

#dukeceit #dukeceitweek #remus sanders #janus sanders #sanders sides fic #kye writes

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danzinora-switch · 4 years ago

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Typing the Turtles (ROTTMNT) Part 1 - Raphael

This started out as an investigation into the turtles’ insecurities, because one thing the show does so well is demonstrate that they are still teenagers. And being a teenager is a confusing experience - there’s angst, drama, exploring one’s identity, a lot of growth, and overall figuring out who you are. That’s a messy process, too! And we see this mess in our turtles: they mess up, they’re learning, they self-doubt, they have fears and insecurities, but they’re also discovering their strengths and how to overcome their inner obstacles.

So after thinking about all this way too long, here’s my psychological breakdown of each turtle (I’ll be referencing MBTI and the Enneagram, but will include links for more general information on those if you don’t know what I’m talking about).

Raph: ISFJ, 6w5

The Defender, The Loyalist, The Big Brother, did I mention The Defender?

Raph is always helping out the little guy, whether that little guy is Mikey, Donnie, Leo, April or someone else. In the first episode, Mystic Mayhem, Raph is the one who notices poor Mayhem alone and scared, and suggests they should help him. He just met the little furball, and even after Mayhem attacks his face he’s still ready to fight some dog-jogger Yokai to protect him. He’s there when April’s school is attacked by Hypno (Hypno! Part Deux) and when she just needs her fan fixed (Repairin’ the Baron). He’s also there for a myriad of underdogs, such as Guy Flambe (Pizza Puffs). Interestingly enough, that episode also indicates that Raph has taken to moonlighting as the hero Red Angel of Preventing Harm.

Raph at his Worst: What is Raph afraid of? Beyond Mrs. Cuddles. Raph is afraid of being alone. But he also feels strongly empathetic when others are alone: Mikey on a solo mission in Hot Soup: The Game, Mayhem in the pilot, Frankenfoot when he runs away. But why?

If we look through the lens of the Enneagram, Raph wants security and support. The system/structure he is most committed to is their inner circle of family/friends. So nothing must happen to those he loves!

Raph has also demonstrated Worst-Case Scenario thinking when he’s stressed. Alone for 5 minutes in Man vs Sewer? Expect the worst. In Nothing but Truffles, Mikey even flashes back to a Raph lecture about what to do in the event of a: shark attack, vampire attack, werewolf attack, and puppy attack.

That said, when someone does hurt someone he loves, or sufficiently threatens/scares him and/or his support system, all his disaster-planning goes out the window in an effort to SMASH IT LIKE A BOSS! (Counterphobic 6).

He puts a lot of pressure on himself, but it’s not really about failing in big moments (as Leo describes it in Mystic Mayhem and Down with the Sickness, but that says more about Leo than Raph), but more about letting the others down. He needs to open the gateway to the Mystic City or else they’ll lose April forever. He needs to think of something to ask for in the Must Say Yes stage that will please all his brothers and not leave anyone out. And, in Insane in the Mama Train, Raph is the one most affected when Splinter says he’s disappointed. The others were willing to brush it off and apologize, but Raph is aware that they let Splinter down. It’s something worse, and he feels that hurt, deeply.

Raph is also sensitive enough that he sometimes takes things too personally. When Mikey and Donnie have a good idea in One Man’s Junk, he internalizes it as ‘Raph never has a good idea’. Mikey sorts that out the best: “We’re not saying you don’t have good ideas, Raph. We’re just saying we do, too.” It seems to snap him out of self-deprecating funk.

Average Raph: Raph wants to protect those he loves from physical threats, but also emotional ones. That’s why he’s so bad at handling interpersonal conflict. He can’t yell at Donnie in Donnie’s Gifts. He can’t yell at (Mike? Lou? Tony?) in the Pizza Pit because “it’ll destroy him”. He’s super conflict-averse when it comes to those he cares about. He doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings (ISFJ). Mostly this is a kind, caring, compassionate trait, but sometimes the situation needs Dr. Delicate Touch.

He’s the supportive friend and brother. He’s always ready to help out, whether it’s fixing April’s fan (Repairin’ the Baron), rescuing Guy Flambe from Meatsweats (Pizza Puffs) or saving Mayhem from the mirror. He’s encouraging… but sometimes to the point of enabling. In Pizza Puffs he recognizes this the most and literally wrestles with himself over trying to let his brothers fix problems on their own without him there to protect them. Sometimes he can’t help but support his friends even when he doesn’t want to: when he’s volun-told by Mikey to help warm Draxum up to humans, he doesn’t ditch, and when April invokes the Birthday Card to help Warren Stone he honors it. He can be dedicated and loyal to a fault.

He can be a little short-sighted, at times. His team-building exercise in Stuck On You was meant to be a positive, brotherly, bonding experience, but suffered from serious drawbacks. His tenacity in smashing foes is admirable, but doesn’t always get the best results, something Donnie tries to get him to see and think through. But they’re also what makes him a force to be reckoned with. You do NOT mess with Raph’s inner circle and expect NOT to get smashed, hoss! And the fact that his brothers know that he has their backs like this is probably its own form of support and security.

Raph at his Best: He believes in the Mad Dogs the most, that they can be and are heroes. “We’re do-gooders! And what do do-gooders do? They do good! And they do good well.” (The Mutant Menace) His compassion and commitment to protecting the underdog keep the others on track and in line with their goals. He is the rock in the middle of the chaos.

Raph actually has good practical skills: he has the mission calendar that only he seems to consistently stick to, and clearly enough self-discipline to responsibly and reliably sleep with his retainer on every night (Flushed, But Not Forgotten)

He also has the most grounded sense of duty. When they’re watching the skateboarding livestream in Gilbert’s Department store in The Longest Fight, Raph is the one who first investigates what sounds like a robbery, and is the one who cajoles his brothers into fighting the Foot. It’s a ‘look, guys, we have to do the right thing here and prevent them from stealing!’ moment. Pizza Puffs: look, guys, you’re going to have to learn to solve problems without me, it’s for your own good! (He knows that’s what needs to happen, even though he’s at war inside over it).

Raph says: what’s the responsible thing to do? And he’s trying to get his brothers to understand this as well (Pizza Puffs).

Raph Relationships:

Donnie: despite the lack of a full Donnie & Raph episode, they have a few surprising things in common. They each have an episode where they want their brothers to learn something. Donnie, in Mind Meld, wants his brothers to be smarter and plan ahead. Raph, in Pizza Puffs, wants his brothers to use some common sense and be a little more responsible. They both like finding solutions to problems, just one focuses on technical and one focuses on interpersonal problems. Mostly (for right now, though) Raph can be blunt with Donnie. He’ll slap the genius in the face with reality. “Donnie! The mech is REAL!” (The Purple Game). “Donnie, I know you know how to say it. We’re all on to you.” (Air Turtle). This is one turtle with whom he can put his foot down and say ‘hey! Back to Earth, now!’ (I can also see them collectively sharing facepalm moments in the future).

Leo: there are times when Leo’s need to be the best and stand-out attitude clash with Raph’s focus on teamwork (Air Turtle, for example “take your win-at-all-costs attitude somewhere else, Leo, we need to work as a team!”) but they do get to a point where both of their strengths in the group strengthen each other, like how iron sharpens iron. Raph wants everyone to work together as a team, but Leo sees their individual strengths. Without that, we get Raph’s glueball disaster in Stuck On You, but together, we have their greatest moment in Many Unhappy Returns. Leo points out the parts each member have to play, and Raph puts it all together in one big plan to defeat the Shredder. “Trust me, bro.” “I do.” (I’m really excited to see where the show goes with this).

Mikey: the main Mikey & Raph episode right now actually seems to be Repairin’ the Baron, and there’s an interesting clash going on here. Raph believes and supports his system, his family. Draxum has been the mortal enemy of the Mad Dogs and deserves to be smashed. However, Mikey is adopting him into the family. Raph is not immediately okay with this, he has a hard time trying to change his inner world. But he cares about Mikey. As he tells Draxum “I’m still trying to get used to this, but Mikey thinks you’re part of the family. And the number rule of the Mad Dogs is: you always take care of family!” They’re actually very complementary, as Mikey can step in in emotionally charged situations where Raph can’t, and how his adaptability gets through Raph’s need for stability. (It will be interesting to see what Raph does as Mikey grows up).

Ultimately, I’m excited to see Raph grow as he figures out the best way to guide this team and save the world. Home is where the heart is, and he’s got a big enough heart to be the home for a lot of people.

So that’s my (unbelievably cut-down) analysis of Rottmnt Raph! I’m going to save the relationships with April and Splinter for later, since this is already too long. Here are the links to learn more about the ISFJ and counterphobic 6w5 if you’re interested:

https://www.16personalities.com/isfj-personality

https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-6

https://enneagrampaths.com/2018/04/09/im-afraid-im-going-to-punch-you-discussions-about-the-phobic-and-counter-phobic-enneagram-type-six/

https://www.crystalknows.com/enneagram/type-6-wing-5

https://thoughtcatalog.com/heidi-priebe/2016/01/mbti-and-the-enneagram-2/10/

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darkershining · 3 years ago

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Just watched episode 28 of Tropical Rouge Pretty Cure, in which the Tropical Club get ready for the school’s cultural festival, while Laura gets curious about why Minori left the Literature Club last year.

The cultural festival is coming up, and the Tropical Club are making preparations to do a make-up class on the rooftop, as well as educating about the history of cosmetics. While looking for books in the library, Laura comes across the story Minori wrote back when she was in the Literature Club.

The class have decided to run a crepe stand at the festival, telling those who are in clubs to help out when they have a spare moment. As the Tropical Club continue discussing plans for their make-up class, Manatsu suggest they need a cute mirror or dresser. Minori finds instructions for how to build one in a book, with materials that aren’t too expensive. The girls head out to buy the materials, while Minori decides to stay behind to do more research.

Later that night, while Laura is relaxing in the bathtub in her mermaid form, she thinks back to previous interactions with Minori, particularly how she seems embarrassed about her writing, and wonders why that is.

As the day of the festival draws near, the students continue making their preparations. The Tropical Club spot the Broadcast Committee interviewing the Judo Club, who will be selling fried squid at the festival, as is tradition for their club. They’ve even rented a mascot, although a few of the members inform their leader that due to a double-booking, they ended up with a crab mascot rather than a squid.

The Broadcast Committee spot Manatsu and the others, and tell them of the livestream they’ll be doing at the festival, and express interest in doing an interview with the Tropical Club showing off their make-up class. Manatsu gladly agrees, and goes to tell Minori and Asuka about it. Laura spots the Literature Club setting up, and asks Izumi if she knows anything about why Minori left the club, since Izumi was in the same class as her last year. Izumi admits she doesn’t know the full story, but she recalls that Minori was pretty excited when writing her first novel, and she and a few other classmates did read and enjoy it, but later Minori suddenly stopped writing and told her that she’d left the club.

On the day of the festival, everything seems to be going smoothly and everyone is having fun. Chongire prepares to summon a Zettai Yaraneda to gather the Motivation Power from the students, but ends up dropping the orb when a stray baseball hits him. Chongire quickly heads down to look for the orb he dropped, only for the Judo Club to mistake him for the mascot they hired, and dragging him over to their stand.

When the crepe stand ends up being understaffed due to some people not showing up on time, one of the girls head to the Tropical Club for help, asking if they mind doing their shift early. Manatsu and Laura agree to help out, while Sango, Asuka and Minori continue handling the make-up class. However, the Broadcast Committee then show up for the interview. With Sango busy and Asuka unable to leave her to handle everything on her own, Minori offers to handle the interview, telling them to give her a moment to prepare herself. Minori heads inside to get her make-up on.

While Manatsu and Laura help out at the crepe stand, Chongire also ends up having a good time while helping the Judo Club properly prepare the fried squid. Manatsu and Laura are surprised to see Minori doing the interview, and are amazed at how well she does at it. However, Chongire manages to find the orb he dropped before, and summons a Zettai Yaraneda to drain everyone’s motivation. The Tropical Club quickly gather and transform to fight it off.

The Cures fight against a Zettai Yaraneda created from a fried squid, and it uses its ink to its advantage, managing to grab all the Cures in its tentacles except for Cure Papaya. In the process, it knocks over the Literature Club’s table and ends up stepping on some of the dropped books. Cure Papaya manages to free her friends and give Cure La Mer an oppurtunity to take back the stolen Motivation Power, before purifying the Yaraneda.

After returning to the mansion, the villains feel what appears to be an earthquake, but the Butler tells them the shaking is due to the Witch having a nightmare because they haven’t been getting enough Motivation Power.

Back at school, Minori picks up the books scattered on the ground, with the others helping her put them back. Laura decides she might as well ask Minori why she quit the Literature Club. Heading back the rooftop, Minori tells the others what happened, how she joined the Literature Club when she first transferred into school, since she enjoyed reading and fantasizing about stuff. However, after writing her first story, she was excited and thought the leader of the club would like it since her classmates seemed to enjoy it. However, the leader told her the story was fairly plain and that a lot of elements of the story and characters were things she’d seen before. When Minori looked over the story again, she realized the leader of the club had a point, and got embarrassed over how confident she was in it at first. She admits that since then, she hasn’t been able to bring herself to write anything new and simply stuck to reading.

However, Minori then admits that since meeting the Tropical Club, she has been finding a new confidence in herself, as their club activities and such have led her to try things she wouldn’t have thought to do herself, and finding herself actually enjoying a lot of it. She even admits that as nervous as she was during the interview, she decided to try doing what she imagined Laura would do in this situation. Minori says it’s thanks to everyone in the club supporting her that she’s enjoying herself much more now.

Another good episode! I’m glad we finally got some follow-up on Minori’s backstory that was hinted at before. I do feel for her, as someone who enjoys writing. I often find myself lacking confidence in my writing skills, or trying too hard to get everything perfect on the first try to the point where I can barely bring myself to actually write anything down. I do wonder if Minori will eventually be able to give it another try once she has enough confidence. If her story back then was her first serious attempt at writing a story, then of course it probably would have flaws, but since several of her classmates did enjoy it, she probably has some potential. When I discovered fanfiction, I was eager to try to get into it as a way of practicing my writing, but no matter how many ideas I had, I couldn’t quite manage to write anything I thought was good enough to put up online. So, I decided to hold off and stick to other forms of writing for a while, until I finally felt I had an idea good enough and the skills to make it happen. And while my fanfic certainly has its own flaws, I’m pretty proud of how far I’ve made it, and I’m looking forward to the day I complete the story.

Ah, sorry, guess I went a little off-topic there. Anyways, now that we’ve got Minori’s backstory, I’m hoping we’ll get Asuka’s backstory soon, since I’m still waiting on that one. Other than that, it was fun seeing some characters from previous episodes making appearances, and the part with Chongire getting in on some of the fun by putting his cooking skills to use.

I’ll be looking forward to the next episode!

#pretty cure #tropical rouge precure

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begrudginglytumbling · 3 years ago

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Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six

Part Three!

...or I suppose technically it’s part two of Part Two since this one will finish up what the other one started.

Shall we return to Grow Up?

(This’ll be long even though I managed to be a little ruthless and cut some of the images.)

We’ll start with the staffroom and finish with the dorm rooms.

I am only assuming it’s a staffroom. For all I know it could be some kind of common room. But they spend a damned lot of time there. They eat. They hangout. They study. And it’s not just the students, so I’m calling it a staffroom.

Anyway! This breakfast bar thing props up a fair amount of leaning, from general side leans.

To the favoured elbow hook lean.

What I find funny about this particular surface is that Bai Yu’s legs are so long that he actually can’t sit ‘properly’ at it. If he sits straight, then he has to lean forward, since his knees are knocking into it. And when he does sit close (his feet aren’t on the floor, since he’s on a stool, so he can sit properly), he has to spread his legs in some form of obscene manspreading fashion that made me cackle and that I apparently managed to not get a screenshot of (and annoyingly I can’t remember which episode it was in).

Right then, on to the table.

Literally.

On to the table.

Because, clearly, Bai Yu can’t resist sitting on a tabletop.

I made a post about it a while ago, but I’m still not over it so, just as a quick break from the sitting - that outfit is certainly a choice of the wardrobe department.

I mean just look at it, with it’s mustard trousers paired with that top, and a lime green tie. It’s like someone threw the 70s at him or something and went with whatever stuck. I feel like it shouldn’t work. But why does it? Is it a Bai Yu thing?

I mean I know he can pull off some slightly questionable fashion choices - that denim on denim look he has as Zhao Yunlan is something I’d normally say isn’t a good idea, but he looks damn good in it. There is also the jacket with the buttons on the back that I’m still questioning to this day. And the time they apparently rolled him in glitter. And, ok, I happily admit that I don’t tend to understand fashion, and I understand even less of Chinese fashion, but, just, how did this choice come about? Pretty much everyone else in this show seems to wear ‘normal’ sedate clothes. Then there’s this guy. With his bright colours, his polka dots on polka dots, and his cravats. Honestly, mixing his outfit choices with his sitting preferences and relationships, I’m becoming convinced that this is just another example of Bai Yu giving his character Disaster Bi energy. The dude ain’t straight, and the dude ain’t gay. I’d say this dude is a Certified Disaster Bi.

Ok, back to the table and Bai Yu’s leaning back in an almost draw-me-like-one-of-your-French-girls manner.

And, like, there is a chair right there.

But nope.

The unpadded table is apparently more appealing for this man’s relatively flat arse than the padded chair that is right there.

I mean, yeah, he makes an appealing picture that’s visually different from everything else going on, but that does not negate the fact he ignored the empty chair that’s right next to him in favour of draping himself over the table.

And look, he can sit at the table as opposed to on it. There’s quite a few instances where he’s sitting at the table in a chair like a proper person. Granted, in pretty much every instance he’s sitting with his legs crossed, because god forbid he have both feet touching the floor.

But of course this table also sees moments where he’s doing something different to the others. Like here. Everyone is standing, he’s sitting.

I think he’s sulking a bit in this one, but still. Different position, different aura, still not supporting his own meagre weight.

And here with his gay little scout-esque neckerchief/scarf thing, leaning back, not sitting properly.

He does this lean back on the sofa too.

The shot is only a couple of seconds long, then he’s standing up, just like in Part Two, where he’s the only one sitting when the Teacher Doctor guy opens the door, and I touched on this a little in the previous part. But I’m really starting to think it might be a deliberate thing that’s quite clever in drawing the eye.

I should probably preface this with saying I know basically nothing about the processes that go into acting and film making. I am however technically a historian by degree and, therefore, fully capable of pulling theories out of my arse which I will then scrabble around to find sources to back them up.

So! The theory is that movement naturally draws the human eye, and if everyone is the same then a scene can fall flat. Sameness is boring, your eyes can flit over it and not take in any details.

Bai Yu?

Bai Yu is a fidget (seriously go watch his livestream videos, he fidgets, fiddles, and wriggles), this movement can be used to his advantage in drawing the eye. That scene up there? He’s not just leaning back, he’s also shifting about. He’s not in focus, but you can be damned sure that movement made my eyes focus on him before I even knew it was him.

And for combating the sameness? Look at the examples above - he’s lounging on the table, different posture to everyone else - he’s sitting while everyone else is standing - in the previous part he’s standing while everyone else is sitting. I thought at first my eyes were drawn because it’s Bai Yu and, well, he’s a favourite of mine so why wouldn’t my eyes be drawn. But then I realised they would’ve been, regardless, because he’s different. He breaks up the sameness, he stops it being flat. It reminded me of a scene in Pride and Prejudice, where the Bennett girls turn one way, but Mrs. Bennett turns the other. I remember watching or reading a commentary about it, the move being praised. I don’t remember exactly what was said, just that it was praised for being different and adding something to the scene, and it made me wonder if Bai Yu makes similar decisions?

Ok, onto the seating area proper.

He was actually sitting on an armchair properly before this, with both feet on the floor and everything...he looked so uncomfortable. Then he moved to sit on the arm of the sofa, because of course he did.

Y’know, pillows get hugged a lot in this programme, mainly by Bai Yu, but by others too sometimes.

And why sit normally when there’s a perfectly good coffee table in front of you to rest your foot on and make some viewers wince because why is your ankle bending that way? How is that even comfortable?

Just look at it. Barely resting on the table with his other foot adding weight to it.

You make my joints ache, sir.

Ok so technically I probably could’ve cut this one, since he’s just sitting on the sofa, nothing fancy, legs crossed, arm slung over the back as he pulls faces while she’s playing a game - she’s training to be a doctor but has a fear of blood so to get her use to it his character gets her to play fighting games(?) and someone else puts red dye on her hands - but this ends up leading to...

...this.

And just...what? How...?

That can’t be comfortable, surely.

I don’t even...are your joints even real, sir?

If your own joints are twinging in sympathy pain, this is your chance to go give your arms a shake and your body a wiggle before we head to the last section of the dorm rooms. Make sure everything is where it should be to remind yourself that you’re not the broken marionette doll Bai Yu can apparently become.

Right. All shook out? Good.

First stop the girls’ dorms, last stop the boys’.

There’s not much in the main girls’ room, really, just his usual sitting with his legs crossed because obviously the floor is lava and can’t be trusted with both feet.

I’m not sure how much he can be blamed for this one, as he’s technically been thrown into the chair by the little doctor trainee whose character reminds me a bit of Wen Qing.

As a side note, when you’re watching something that you don’t understand the language of, scenes like this can really throw you, because you’re just sitting there minding your own business, when suddenly they’re alone in the room together and Bai Yu’s character is taking off his tie, before striping off his shirt and tossing it on the sofa, and then you’re sitting there like wait, what? When did...? I thought...? What? But then he just gets tossed into the chair and some kind of conversation happens that makes you relax because, yeah, from your vague understanding of the characters, that makes more sense.

Even though he was tossed down, he didn’t actually need to keep his feet on the chair, but of course that didn’t stop him.

He is actually capable of looking comfortable sitting in this particular chair, he even gets to hug a pillow while doing it.

Now then, the boys’ dorm.

He came in, he saw them, he plopped down on the coffee table.

He could’ve sat on the sofa, he could’ve pulled up a chair, but nope. Coffee table.

Obviously, as previously mentioned, the floor is lava, so at the first opportunity he lifted both feet on the table and happily sat on it like an indulgent cat or something.

The sofa.

This sofa is not big enough for a full Bai Yu stretch out, but he can happily curl up on either end.

You could turn him into Bai Yu themed bookends.

Now, from watching Guardian we are all aware that this man is fully capable of embodying the spirit of a cat.

I, however, raise you the spirit of a Great Dane.

I see no difference between these two images.

Also not even this character’s mother can get him to sit properly. She prods him up and shuffles him over, and the first thing he does is pull up a knee.

Y’know how people starfish in bed? Well Bai Yu can apparently starfish in an armchair. He just plops down and flings his limbs out.

I almost didn’t catch this one, it’s part of some studying montage thing, and I thought he was sitting properly since he’s leaning forward, and I can clearly see his slippers.

Then I had a ‘wait, hold up’ moment, went back, and looked properly.

There are no feet in those slippers.

There are no legs attached to them.

So even when you think he’s sitting properly. He isn’t because he is kneeling. And I almost missed this ridiculousness!

Yes, Bai Yu, sit on a bed post that is clearly not meant to be sat on.

This is a moment where he could’ve leant against the wall, but evidently saw even the smallest flat surface as an invitation to sit.

Is that post migrating to places a bed post shouldn’t be migrating to?

Should’ve thought of that before you went and sat on it.

Not only does illness and subsequent surgery give him an excuse to lay on a gurney, it also gives him an excuse to lay in bed!

Apparently being tucked in by other men is also something not entirely unique to Bai Yu’s Zhao Yunlan. That bloke, the roommate that he went on a not-date-but-looked-like-a-date-with-wine-and-everything, seems like an absolute sweetheart and I’m still pissed at what they did in the last episode. It was uncalled for, script writers, uncalled for!

Although, I suppose, in regards to this project, it is kinda ironic that by the end, of the three men in their 'friendship group' of seven, Bai Yu’s character is the last one standing.

If I was a ‘they were roommates. Oh god they were roommates’ kinda writer these beds would be a bloody godsend. Just look at the watching and pining potential if top bunk guy was mooning over bottom bunk guy, while top bunk was doing work at his desk, and bottom bunk was sleeping.

The potential, people, the potential.

So that’s it. Grow Up is all done, and I can confidently put this in the column of Bai Yu quirks that become character quirks.

If you want to watch it, it’s available on Youtube, but there aren’t any subtitles. It’s on Dramacool too, but, again, no subtitles and the quality is horrid compared to Youtube.

Considering I couldn’t care less about the main storyline, it’s not actually a bad little drama.

Part One, Part Two , Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six

#Bai Yu #Bai Yu Sitting Project #Grow Up #Xie Nanxiang

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kessielrg · 3 years ago

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Comeback Kid: Part 2

Summary: More third person additions to the chaos rp that @chibi-mushroom and @animacreates are doing.This time, Sabrina has spontaneously decided to break up with Ventus after what could amount to a nervous breakdown. In the aftermath, she is forced to take all her vacation time and become reacquainted with one of her favorite hobbies. But is it enough to get over Ven, or will the memory of him be too much to ignore?

Rating: K+

Word Count: 2,398

Part: 1 | 2 | 3

If you liked this story, please reblog!

---

One of these days, Sabrina was going to have to ask Brain what the name of his cologne was. In the same breath, she needed to harass him on how much he used on a normal day. The cinnamon scent lingered on the still dryer warm t-shirt she had stolen. It was comforting. For once in her life, she was glad not to be surround by her purple obsession. The scent of lavender may be calming, but at the moment all it was going to do was remind her of the apartment.

And of Ventus.

Good thing Brain wasn't as vain as she was- the only mirror he really had was in the bathroom, attached to the medicine cabinet. If Sabrina had a full body mirror right now, she would have admired just all the ways she could have made Ven jealous. Brain's shirt didn't fall very low on her, but the old leggings she found were enough to cause a direct gaze to her butt. She was almost confident with herself again. Almost. Purposely being alluring to someone didn't mean the same if you didn't actually have someone to allure.

Sabrina grimaced to herself in the mirror, fluffing her hair a bit for something to do. She couldn't look herself in the eye. The last time she looked at herself in a mirror was when she skipped out on Ven. It's only been a day, and it still made her flinch. She had to leave the bathroom before she started to panic again. She went to the living room to find Brain sitting on his couch. The TV showing off some livestream on how to jailbreak a certain console. Sabrina walked up and placed her arms on the back of the couch.

“Could you hold off on being a blatant nerd? You're not even paying attention to it.”

Brain laughing, craning his neck to look up at her. “My house, my rules.” he told her. Then he got a good look at what she was wearing, and laughed. “And here I thought I was done with girls stealing my shirts.”

Sabrina let out a loud, incredibly fake gasp. “You had a sex life? Wow!”

“I could have told you about her if you had just asked. We dated for about a year. Not that I think I would have let you two share a room- you'd scare her.”

“I scare a lot of people. It's not even a challenge anymore.” Sabrina smirked. She moved around to sit next to him. Once she was comfortably sitting, she then asked, “So she was a good one?”

“Very good.” Brain agreed with a wide, incredibly fond, grin. Sabrina immediately recognized it as a grin of true love and scoffed.

“Oh shush, you.” her brother teased, forcing her to lay her head on his chest. She struggled for a moment out of annoyance. When she finally gave up, that was when Brain removed his hand from her head. Instead of sitting back up, though, she remained leaning on him. Brain did pick up the remote to change the TV setting so they could watch something on live broadcast. From there, the duo sat in a peaceful silence.

During the change between shows, Brain laid his head against Sabrin'as in thought.

“Hey Wabi-Sabi.” he mused. His voice was rather soft.

“Yeah?” she replied, her attention not leaving what was on the television.

“Do you remember, back before old Oz took us in, and we tried to spend a night out on the playground at Walt Memorial Park?”

Sabrina shifted a bit in her spot. Her face slightly darker than before as she asked, “Was that before or after the time we almost got caught by some officer around 2 AM?”

“You know what? I think it was that day.” Brain snorted. “But way before that, before the sun went down. Do you remember what we talked about?”

Admittedly, she had to close her eyes to try to remember. They nearly snapped open again as she realized, “It was about Mom, wasn't it? Why she left us.”

Brain gave her a solemn nod. “Not going to lie Sabi, I bluffed about a lot of that stuff. I wasn't there when Mom made the choice. I barely understood that she was the one who even made the choice to keep us together. Back then, I just assumed that they kept siblings together because who wouldn't? But I had to tell you something that night. You had just run away from another family. You were dead convinced that you couldn't be loved.''

“Why are you telling me this?”

“No reason,” he informed her with a grin. “Just thinkin' out loud, I guess.”

“Liar.” she spat, purposely using her elbow to poke at his side. Brain didn't refute the notion. If anything, he just laughed.

“So,” Brain then said, “What's your game plan for the next month? Oswald cashed in all that overtime and vacation pay you had. I can't see you just jogging between here and the old man's house everyday.”

“Shows what you know.” his sis huffed. “Just for that, I think I'm going to have you personally move all my stuff here.”

“What are you doing with the apartment, speaking of?” Brain asked.

“I don't know.” she admitted in a half grumble. “I'd let the lease run out, but that's still for another four months.”

“You really think you two will apologize between that time?”

Sabrina didn't answer. Instead, her face twisted into one of absolute disgust.

“Never said that.” she hissed.

“Sure, sure.” Brain laughed. “Just don't want you sitting at home with old Hollywood movies and ice cream, that's all.”

“Do you not know me at all?” Sabrina demanded, shoving him with enough force to make him move like a bobblehead for a moment. Brain's mirth did not let up. Sabrina gave her brother another disgusted grimace, but his words stuck with her.

Later on, while debating if she should clear her phone of certain numbers, Sabrina stopped scrolling through to see the name of her ex-boyfriend, Max. Max had been her first serious boyfriend, and they had managed to stay on good terms after the breakup. Sabrina made a single second choice, leading to her listening to the phone ring over as she waited for him to answer. She felt kinda dumb while waiting- was she really that self centered to think tha Max would have the time to even...

“Hey Max.” Sabrina greeted, almost in surprise, when he picked up the phone. “Yeah, I know it's been awhile. That's actually why I'm calling. You want to go to that little tea shop on Main Street tomorrow? I get it if you have other places to be since it's last minute...”

There was just one thing she could always count on in Max; he was patient when the situation called for it. Hearing him on the other end brought up a sense of relief she got from only a select few individuals.

“Thanks Max.” she sighed. “I just… need someone to talk to someone that isn't family. Yeah, I'm fine. Really. I'll tell you more later. Bye.”

Sabrina let out a long sigh. Well, that was one bandaid ripped off. Now to deal with the other; getting new clothes.

. . .

This island really was kinda small when you thought about it. She just hoped that no one Ventus knew would recognize her. Then again, the clothes she bought yesterday were darker colors meant to blend in with the crowd. If they managed to recognize her, hopefully she'd be long gone before they could flag her down. Seeing Max casually checking his phone outside the tea shop brought Sabrina a massive sigh of relief.

“Hey Max!” she shouted at him. He looked up and grinned at seeing her.

“Hey stranger.” he greeted with a grin. Once they were close enough they shared a rather heartfelt hug. “You wearing heels today? I knew you had legs for days, but I could've sworn you were shorter than this.”

“Nice try.” Sabrina smirked. She stood a bit taller over the fact that Max was several inches shorter than her. His height was perfect when they were dating- considering what he was nearly in direct eye line of. “You know I've never worn heels around you.”

“I used to be taller than you.” he jokingly pouted.

“Yeah,” she snorted. “For a whole summer.”

Max went into a laugh that was so light and joyful that Sabrina gave a small half smile. Bouncing more banter off each other, the duo headed on into the tea shop. Max found them a corner table near a back window.

“Anything look good?” Sabrina asked as they looked over the menu.

“Haven't had a tea party since I was swindled into one as a kid.” Max mused. “So I guess whatever you want to eat, and I'll take a cup of coffee.”

“How come you're only really adventurous when it comes to extreme sports?” Sabrina teased as she flagged down a waiter.

“Hey, if it's not broke, don't fix it.”

Sabrina just shook her head with a roll of her eyes.

“Welcome to Hightopp & Kingsleigh!” the server girl greeted. “May I recommend the earl grey this afternoon? Fresh from the pot!”

“No thanks.” Sabrina callously told her with a flick of her wrist. “We'll take a pot of peppermint rooibos, a baker's dozen of ladyfingers, and a single black coffee.”

“Sure thing!” the server girl agreed, writing it down on the notepad before heading to the back kitchen.

Sabrina and Max continued to have idle talks with themselves while they waited. There was no one else in this world that Sabrina could tolerate meaningless talks than with Max. They both said whatever was on their mind as it came. Thankfully, time away meant that they had plenty to reflect on. Unfortunately, it meant that at some point, current matters were going to be brought up as well.

She should have really asked to have a refill of hot water for the tea pot before even breathing Ventus's name.

“You just left him?!”

Sabrina groaned as she rubbed her temples. “Yeah...” she groaned. “His dad… I just hate his dad so much, Max. Then he started talking about marriage, and trying to convince Ven into whatever shady deal he's got going next, and it was just… Just…!” She looked up at Max to give a gesture of strangling an invisible neck, and it was enough to convey the message.

“All because your least favorite coworker was getting married as well?”

“And, like, everyone else around us! Ven's brother, two other guys from the station. How about we just chill for a hot second and realize that a ring isn't the only indicator of a good relationship?”

“You really should have gotten chamomile.” Max noted as he watched Sabrina take a rather long slip of her tea.

“Peppermint's better for stress.” she shot at him.

“If you say so,” Max replied, throwing his hands in the air to show innocence. Sabrina glared at him, but relented with a heavy sigh. Max looked her over. She had gone back to rubbing her temples and muttering rather unkind things under her breath. He had never really seen her in conflict before- or at least, this much conflict. Which meant he had to ask. Someone had to.

“Would things really change that much if you did marry him?”

Sabrina clung to the side of her head, her fingers clenching in her hair.

“No.” she finally admitted in a small grumble. “Just a different check box to fill when tax season comes around. It's the only excuse I can really think of. We're already living together, have at least one joint bank account because of it, and all that domestic bliss. We even have a chore chart, like a bunch of kids.”

“So what's holding you back?”

Sabrina grimaced -her teeth grinding- as her whole body tensed. Carefully, Max placed a hand on her arm. She looked up at him with the sole intention of smacking him away. But in seeing his sincere expression, she nearly started crying.

“Maxie,” she quietly told him “Is it bad I'd rather give him a kid than tie the knot?”

“Definitely unorthodox.” he mused with a solemn nod. “Maybe they feel like less of an obligation? You know the deal; some parents just drop their kids off to whoever, or just don't pay attention to them. Then they turn around and brag they're the best parents ever.”

“I can't do that to him.” she heavily sighed. “I just can't. And even then, I don't think I'm ready for a kid. Or any drama that happens during or after the pregnancy. Maybe when I'm 30? But doing so now just makes me sick.”

“Ah,” was all Max could say. He went into thought over this development. When a new idea came to him, he snapped his fingers as if he had solved a major mystery. “You said Oswald's making you take the next month off from work, right? Maybe it's time for a change.”

“Max,” Sabrina told him, even rather condescendingly placing a hand on top of his. “I am not going full Britney Spears and shaving my hair off. The mental breakdown was enough.”

“No,” he laughed, “Nothing like that. Look, you used to love dancing. Right? Roxanne is a teacher at the local dance studio. She mostly teaches the younger kids, but she's been itching for private lessons in her off time. Go take the edge off a bit. Do some pivots off the mirror, or spin around a lamppost for a hot second. Be that dramatic princess I know you are. Be yourself. I mean, it's not like Oswald's gonna let you head back into work right away anyway. Might as well make the most of it.”

“Next you'll be telling me that I should start writing a novel.”

“Well, I mean, if that's what you need...”

It hurt, but Sabrina forced herself to laugh. She looked up at Max and just smiled.

“I can't believe I know a lot of good guys.” she laughed, leaning over a bit to give him a gentle kiss on the cheek. “Thanks Maxie.”

Max let out a shy little laugh as his face lit up a scarlet red.

#writing #writing stuff #writers on tumblr #fanfiction #kh fanfiction #kingdom hearts fanfiction #fanfic #kh fan fic #fan fiction #fan fic

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clumsyclifford · 4 years ago

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bella I would love a directors cut on literally any of the rilex you’ve written, but specifically it’s always her, and you, and me, or for these days you’ve been stuck in my brain 💙

OHHHHHH those are some CHOICESSSSSS lucy. fuck yeah. let’s get into it. ill link them both here but we’ll take em one at a time

it’s always her, and me, you

these days you’ve been stuck in my brain

here’s a cut for convenience cos i KNOW i’m gonna go long here.

okay! let’s start with the rilisex fic.

it’s always her, and me, and you

so like it says in the ao3 notes, this fic came from realizing just how frequently rian and alex kiss each other like, all the time? just? casually? for funsies? this was another one of those situations like i mentioned where the hook aka first line (“Rian's no expert, but he doesn't think normal friends kiss this much.”) just appeared in my head and i was like heyyy that’s a GOOD first line. i have to build from that line. that’s the hook, that’s the summary, that’s the core.

something i discovered upon searching through the editing history of the doc: i had originally sort of intended to go a direction with this where in some other circumstance, rian would see alex giving jack a super casual friendly kiss and he’d get all sad/jealous and be like sure why SHOULDNT alex kiss jack after all its just a thing he does with his FRIENDS. but the fic ended up going a different way and honestly? im glad. i like this way better.

the role of singin in the rain in this fic actually has a HILARIOUS backstory because the night i originally wrote that conversation in the tour bus kitchen, i went into the club and said the following

and then. the next day. rian streamed with ricky, and i asked if he’d ever seen singin in the rain, and he ANSWERED ME and said he hadn’t. so first of all i had already written the scene and i then had to rewrite it to make it so rian wouldn’t have seen it but also!!! i literally asked rian fucking dawson if he’d seen a movie for the sole reason of using that information for fanfiction!!!! and he provided me with the information i needed!!!! whole thing is just fucking hysterical to me. ANYWAY.

ANYWAY, the other reason why sitr has such a big role in the fic is because megs and i watched the movie together while i was in the middle of working on the fic, so it was extremely fresh in my mind. in fact i can probably show you this: i had this comment left for myself when i was kind of trying to figure out if i could make a real metaphor of sorts with the sitr ot3 and the Big Three of this fic. some of this ended up in rian’s wild musings in the hotel scene but i did conclude that it wouldn’t really have worked and that was definitely true but anyway. fuck it, director’s cut, here’s the kind of shit i leave for myself to refer to

so that’s part of the reason why it became such a puzzle piece of this fic, but real talk, it’s also just because i love singin in the rain it’s one of my favorite movies lmao

briefly gonna also touch on lisa and why she’s in this fic because i realize that rian/alex/lisa is an interesting approach to rilex! first of all, i love lisa. i love alex and lisa. and it occurred to me that there was really no reason to split lisex up just to make rilex happen. plus there’s this tweet that really just pushed me over the edge of being like yeah, rilisex is extremely plausible. so that’s that on that.

as for the scene in the hotel room while they’re watching sitr, there is a small piece of that scene - from when alex starts kissing rian’s shoulders etc to “it would defy the laws of nature not to” - that i actually wrote before anything else in that scene. that small piece got stretched out and edited quite a bit from how it started but it did function as a sort of foundation around which i built the rest of the scene, because that small section sort of ~came to me~ absolutely out of nowhere, and i really liked the Vibe it had and i wanted to include it. i THINK that was the only piece of this fic that i wrote Out Of Order - for the most part this was written chronologically.

ALSO!!! omg this is exciting, this fic actually has a deleted scene!!!!!! i hate cutting scenes but i also hate having scenes that are less than 1k and this one didn’t really contribute much to the fic. i can probably share it here right? sure why not ! hopefully you can read this. it originally took place after the scene where alex and rian call lisa for the first time. the question of “what gets left into interview videos and what gets cut” is also just interesting to me as a (fic) concept in general so...eyes emoji, but here’s my mini-exploration that i cut from the original fic. enjoy lol it’s silly <3

oh! also one more thing!! the very final scene was included for two reasons. the first reason being that when i write getting-together fics, i really prefer to add on a scene After they Get Together because i love to write domestic established relationship stuff and i think that’s a satisfying reward for a reader who’s just slogged through all the mutual pining and bullshit to get the characters together. but the OTHER reason is that i got an anon (here it is!) and i read that ask and was immediately like well shit. now i have to fucking include this. for the anon and for myself. so you can thank that anon for that last scene. (also i wanted to include merrikat especially since i had to cut their little moment in the interview scene above.)

so....................whew. i think i’ve bled that fic dry. holy shit that’s a lot of Stuff. OKAY! let’s move on.

these days you’ve been stuck in my brain

so!!! THIS fic was the breakthrough after (what felt like) a long bout of writer’s block. long for me was maybe two weeks, but i am the kind of person who is always writing, and two weeks was a long time to go with little to no inspiration/motivation to write anything. i had also been in a weird narrative headspace because i’d been binge-watching disney shows (jessie > austin and ally > girl meets world) and i don’t know how well i can explain this but the way those shows are written is a lot snappier and cares way less for realistic and consistent character development or plots or relationships, and so i was stuck between caring a lot about including those things in my fics but also being unable to conceptualize them in writing because my brain was in Disney Writing Mode. does that make sense? this is rhetorical so let’s go with yes. so anyway. i was in a slump

actually what i ended up doing was basically googling something like “au prompts tumblr” or something and just scrolling through posts. i saw something about soulmate telepathy and i actually tried to write something totally different before i wrote this one, but the first attempt was a different concept and then the direction i took it was like......it wasn’t quite right and i realized that i was kind of writing dark disney style? there is really no way for me to explain what i mean by that because it seems really obvious to me but that’s just because i’m inside my own head so just take my word.

anyway. attempt #1 of soulmate telepathy rilex went poorly, and this fic was attempt #2. i kinda took the soulmate telepathy thing and changed it as i saw fit and i also went back to skim helen’s telepathy fic because obviously she’s the pro and then i tried not to steal her ideas. and as i was writing it i kinda realized i was doing the whole quirky funny best friend character with jack and also doing the whole “somehow this not-very-dramatic situation with teenagers is treated as The Most Dramatic Thing Ever and that’s totally normal and nobody finds it strange” disney trope with rian and alex being soulmates and i was like (deep sigh) i have to accept that no matter how much i try to fight this, this fic is going to be tainted with disney. and that’s life

on top of that i will add that the real-life rilex were extremely inspiring during the two-day period during which i wrote this fic, because that was when the once in a lifetime video came out and in the brief pre-video livestream rilex were Beyond Married and that definitely helped in the writing of fic rilex!

hmmmm what can i tell you about this fic itself.................honestly, i don’t think there’s much to tell! rian is a band kid because in real life rian was a band kid and he’s staff manager at rita’s just like he was in real life. there is truthfully not a lot to unpack here that i can think of!

oh here’s something i guess: rian and alex go on a date in this fic! that is because watching So Much Disney made me realize that i often forget the fact that people just. go on dates. sometimes. look i clearly do not have an active romantic life but i also really liked the idea of alex and rian going on a date despite not knowing if they’d be soulmates or not and liking each other organically just by getting to know each other, rather than being victim to the whole soulmate thing. like i wanted them to build a connection so that they would want to be soulmates. and then the audience would want that for them too. stakes!! very important.

i can tell you i had a mild crisis over the title of the fic because i am not a fan of the word brain and i didnt wanna use that sticky lyric for the title when it had a word i hated but it was objectively a much better title option than the other one i had, which was “sticky just like the song in my head” but i obviously decided on the former and it has not upset me nearly as much as i expected it to so that was the right decision imo

so! i think that’s all on that! sorry (?) that it got so long although then again i don’t know what’s to be expected in a director’s cut for two long fics but thank you for asking me about these, i love them both so very much rilex is so supremely underrated but so very important

#cashtonasfuck #ask #answered #this is a whole ass multimedia fucking presentation #you asked for the director's cut but like i sure as hell didnt hold back dflkhggj #in fairness you picked two longer fics #though most of my rilex fics are longer ones which is strange #but like good for them #director's cut #this was really fun #thank you lucyyy <3 #these were the good right choices for rilex fics to dissect because the other ones are either shorter or rilex is a background pairing #or like . just aint that deep #i stole the plot of something unpredictable from that other fic by that other person #so ya know #the fact that this response contains an entire deleted scene in a screenshot #this is a lot lmfao

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marvelandimagine · 5 years ago

Text

In My Home (Chapter 2)

Series summary: After Wakanda opens its borders, you begin working in Shuri’s lab as part of an all-women STEM program, and you meet a certain White Wolf. What starts out as mutual bonding over science turns into much more than you ever could have anticipated.

Loosely inspired by Young the Giant’s “In My Home”

Pairing: Bucky x scientist reader

Word Count: 1,960

Warnings: Language, PTSD, sexual thoughts

A/N: WELP Bucky’s internal POV turned out longer than I thought but I pinky promise chapter three is going to be dialogue for dayzzzz

Reader Tags: @staringmoony @noxxia @mikithekiki @just-a-littlebit-of-everything @galaxy-siren

Bucky can’t stop thinking about you. He knows he’s in deep because he finds himself replaying conversations and moments together with you over and over in his head, trying to engrave their details into his memory—the sound of your laugh, how you talk with your hands, the glint in your eyes he thinks he’s seen whenever the two of you end up physically close (which seems to be a lot lately)––that goddamn indecipherable look that’s driving him crazy as he mentally weighs the pros and cons of finally acting on what he desperately wants, to finally bring his lips to yours, to feel your body pressed against his while your tongue slips between his teeth and his hands tangle in your hair––

And he keeps trying his best to stop his imagination right there (often failing) because he’s not sure he can trust his mind on this. Because the thought that you could ever reciprocate, could even come close to feeling the way he feels about you, would ever want to be with him in any sense of really being with someone, that had to just be a dream.

But then his brain tugged at him to recall moments that had happened between the two of you that he was pretty damn sure he didn’t imagine. How welcoming you were when he first met you, how you were willing to open up to him about your past so that it might help him in his present. And when he found himself spilling his guts about his uncertainty regarding whether or not Shuri had really fixed him, not knowing what to do with the lingering anxiety and flashbacks and nightmares––you still didn’t treat him like a bomb that was about to go off. You just treated him like a human being.

And it wasn’t like he hadn’t experienced that since Steve snapped him out of his Hydra programming—a lot of people had been kind to him. And he’d done what Shuri asked and hit up a few veteran support group meetings in the city and even livestreamed a few in the States, so he had related to others with similar experiences before meeting you. He just couldn’t explain it, the connection he felt to you, like you both went through life following the same rhythm. As ridiculous and sentimental as it sounded in his head, it was like your souls seemed to be in sync.

You were funny and hopeful and kind and so, so pretty, even in a lab coat and faded band t-shirt. You drew him in without even trying, and the connection he felt with you––that he wondered, hoped, dreamed you could maybe even feel a fraction of––kept growing stronger the more time you spent together. He initially couldn’t even believe you wanted to spend time with him, but he slowly stopped questioning it and tried to just go with it without waiting for the other shoe to drop.

He just tried to enjoy being present with you, whether he was reading your loaned copy of Bill Nye’s Undeniable: Evolution and the Science of Creation while you whirled around the lab, or utterly absorbed in listening to you do your best to catch him up on a highlight reel of humanitarian achievements and pop culture while he told you about 1930s New York City and the inventions that blew his mind (he still was waiting for a flying car, but self-driving cars were still pretty damn impressive) over sambusa and the best lamb and rice dish he was sure he’d ever have, confiding and laughing and flirting all over the city.

He may not have been with a woman in literally decades, but that didn’t mean he didn’t notice signs of seeming attraction and affection, small actions and comments you dropped here and there that made his heart stop and start at the same time. What he did forget was how maddening it could be, the slow burn of glances and touches and before someone finally made a decisive move. Back before everything happened, he never had a problem making that move, but now, the fear of losing someone who already made him the happiest he’d been in years kept him rooted in place.

It was driving him crazy, especially when it came to hints in your touch: your hip gently nudging him to scooch farther down your lab table; your thigh grazing his as you sat side by side on the Maglev train; your palm swatting him on the shoulder as he made another comment that had you shaking your head but chuckling nonetheless. He savored each of these moments, no matter how seemingly insignificant, his longing for even further closeness with you becoming harder to ignore each time. So he experimented to see if maybe he really did have a shot at this, taking your hand in the middle of the crowded street, raising his voice so you could hear him over the chattering crowd and music echoing around the city:

“I’ll get lost otherwise.”

“You’re right,” you called back, smirking as your free hand gestured to the predominantly Wakandan crowd. “How would I ever find you amongst this sea of white men with bionic arms?”

You didn’t let go of his hand, though, and Bucky felt hope rise in his chest along with his heartbeat.

There was the day when you had made him promise to not let you leave the lab no matter what you said until you finished a new round of cross-referencing your updated personal data samples with the 500 something you had collected while getting your doctorate. But then it turned out that there was a music festival happening two blocks away from the lab, and how were you supposed to focus with the booming sounds of drums and the wafting aromas of roasted street fare, but Bucky wanted to mess with you a bit.

And so he stood between you and the door, trying his best to keep a straight face.

“You said, and I quote ‘Bucky do not let me leave this lab, no matter how much I beg, or plead, or––“

You waved your hands.

“That was old Y/N who was bright-eyed and full of caffeine and optimism. This is 7 p.m. current Y/N realizing that I will literally be here until 3 a.m., which I’ve already done twice this week. Current Y/N Y/N just needs to dance and eat some mandazi.”

“A promise is a promise! What if this was the very night when you were destined to be struck by genius with a breakthrough that changes the course of humanity, but I prevented that from happening by breaking my word.” Bucky shrugged, the corner of his mouth turning up. “Not chancing it.”

You sighed in feigned resignation.

“You’re right, you’re right.”

Bucky was thrown off for half a second but your concession, but then you were sprinting past him as best as you could sprint past a genetically enhanced soldier, your cackle turning into profanities choked by laughter as Bucky easily caught you, arms wrapping around your waist.

“Goddammit, Bucky!”

He was barely even holding you, so nervous about hurting you, but it was still enough to keep you locked in place as you struggled, both of you chuckling for a few more seconds before you gave up, going limp in his arms. He could feel the rise and fall of your chest, was close enough to breathe in the bright scent of your perfume.

“Guess I’ll die here.”

Your light tone then turned bitter on a dime, taking Bucky by surprise.

“I lied, I really don’t deserve to get out of here tonight, not when my dumbass has been stuck on the same problem for weeks, and everyone else in that lab has actually been able to do their fucking jobs.”

“Hey, Y/N, that’s not true.” Bucky broke his hold on you, turning you around to face him, watching as you shook your head, chewing at the corner of your lip as you averted your eyes.

“You’re one of the smartest people I know. And I see you, everyone sees you working your ass off in there. Give yourself a break.” He paused for a second before placing his hands on your shoulders, the action prompting you to bring your pained gaze back to meet his.

“You know I’m not actually holding you hostage, right?”

You had mustered a snort of laughter and nodded but still had that defeated look across your face, and Bucky’s instinct to care for you overshadowed his nerves.

“C’mere.”

And he pulled you toward him and you immediately settled into his embrace, letting out a deep exhale as you burrowed your head in his chest, arms winding around his waist. And as much as he wanted to, he didn’t dare try to kiss you in the midst of your mini crisis, not knowing if you’d misinterpret it as only being given to try to make you feel better as opposed to showing you how deeply he felt about you.

“Thank you.” Your voice was muffled against him and you pulled back, sniffling but smiling. “Sorry I lost my cool there.”

“You don’t need to apologize. Come on, let’s get you some fresh air and some mandazi, you’ll feel better.”

“Good plan.” You both started walking down the hall, and Bucky could feel your stare burning through him, turning and seeing you giving him that look again.

“What?”

“Nothing ... just glad I met you.”

Even with that seemingly picture perfect moment, gnawing fear kept him from showing you right then and there how he really felt, settling instead on words that felt safer instead.

“Feeling’s mutual.”

He’s recalling all of these moments in his head, especially how he’s kicked himself after each one for not making a move. What was wrong with him? How long was he going to let fear dictate his life? The life he had fought for, the one he was still clawing his way out of the past for?

He’s jolted out of his reverie by the rumble of an engine in the distance, and his head snaps up to see trees rustling in the distance.

Even the sheep look startled.

“What the hell?”

And then he sees you come barreling out of the tree line in what looks like a military-grade hummer, except in a rich violet color, wearing sunglasses and a grin, the car’s speakers blaring that one Black Keys (Black Locks? He can never keep all the music you tell him straight) song he’s heard a few times in your lab, and he doesn’t know if he believes in a god, but damn, of all songs to be playing, it’s one hell of a cosmic coincidence that it’s this one.

“Woah, oh oh, I’ve got a love that keeps me hanging.

I’m a lonely boy, I’m a lonely boy.”

“Son of a bitch.”

Bucky’s heart was beating fast, mind working overtime in a last-ditch attempt to dissuade him from stopping the chess match between you two and taking the chance he wanted to since practically the day you met. He’d been controlled for so long, shoved around with no agency, no say in what he could do.

But this, right here, right now, this was his life. And he didn’t want to waste more of it waiting, waste more of it hanging because of his own hesitation. He had the ability to make choices today, even when it seemed terrifying and vulnerable and could potentially end in disaster. Or, it could end in something fucking great. Something that made him feel happy, feel understood, feel alive.

Isn’t that all he really wanted?

And as you pull up near his hut, he makes a barely noticeable nod to himself. He’s made his decision. Today, instead of choosing fear, he was going to choose you.

#bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky x reader fic #bucky x reader imagine #bucky barnes imagine #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader fic #marvel fic #marvel fanfic #bucky fic #marvel imagine #bucky imagine #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes songfic

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tillidontneedfantasy · 5 years ago

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No. 6 Collaborations Project - Ed Sheeran: I’m not like a regular musician, I’m an Uncool™ musician.

When Ed Sheeran emerged onto the American pop scene in 2011 - 2012 as an understated solo act, he famously utilized the loop pedal in his live shows, creating the sound of a full production with just his voice and one little guitar. This is just one of the elements that made Ed Sheeran such a compelling rising star; one singer-songwriter could cast a very large shadow.

Sheeran’s dominance over the pop scene since then and throughout the last decade is undeniable, and he really wants you to know it and acknowledge it on No. 6, as he (rightfully, but not so moderately) celebrates his musical achievements and endeavors over the years on tracks such as “Take Me Back to London” featuring Stormzy and “Remember the Name” featuring Eminem & 50 Cent. But he also doesn’t want you to forget that still, despite all of his success, *Amy Poehler from Mean Girls voice* he’s not like a regular musician, he’s an uncool musician. Travis Scott opens “Antisocial,” a well-produced but underwhelming song about Sheeran’s introversion and anxiety, by stating, “All you cool people, you better leave now,” which sounds silly coming from an artist as "in” right now as Travis Scott. This is a message Sheeran attempts to drive home even more so on the opening track “Beautiful People” featuring Khalid, where Sheeran explains how he does not quite fit in with the lifestyle of his industry. For someone who is so adamant that he remains uncool, he sure scored a heap of very cool artists to collaborate with him on this new record, even including a DJ, loop pedal be damned.

Funny enough, the song including DJ and producer Skrillex, titled “Way To Break My Heart” is one of the few that is reminiscent of Sheeran’s roots, both sonically and lyrically. While Sheeran’s singer-songwriter chops have not particularly diminished with success, they feel repetitive and at a stalemate on No. 6. Sheeran still holds his own on the strongest tracks, but the voices featured on this project are what hold them up the most.

BEST TRACK: “I Don’t Want Your Money” featuring H.E.R.

No. 6 is thematically heavy on Sheeran’s relationships with fame and with his wife, Cherry. Sheeran is generally most triumphant when he focuses on the latter, a love song master as displayed by the overwhelming success of the overly cliched “Thinking Out Loud” and “Perfect” (from x and ÷ respectively), but is most effective on this album when he integrates it with the former. On “I Don’t Want Your Money,” Sheeran outlines the strains that celebrity life put on a relationship in a way that is universally relatable, whether you’re a pop mega-superstar or an average Joe from Chicago who’s had one viral tweet. In the 2nd verse, he sings:

“Baby I’m doing it for us, so why you taking that tone like I’m the bad guy? / I thought it would have made me better in your dad’s eyes / I’m busy stacking up the paper for the bad times / ‘cause baby, you never know / I’m popping right now, but there will come a day when I won’t.”

No matter the lifestyle or job, anyone who has ever been a working individual in a relationship knows the struggle of a work-life balance, and the pressure when things are going well to do all you can to maintain that lucrativeness in case it all falls apart in the future; it’s a sacrifice for the sake of security. Sheeran’s awareness that his height of fame for any musician is not built to last forever is also a refreshing note of modesty. H.E.R. graciously lends her magically soothing vocals as the voice of Sheeran’s wife, assuring him that his time is much more valuable to her than his money, beautifully supported by a very sweet guitar riff. There’s a lot of horns in this song as well, which don’t necessarily fit with the theme or vibe but somehow work anyway, because horn instruments can improve almost any pop song exponentially.

WEAKEST TRACK: “1000 Nights” featuring Meek Mill & A Boogie Wit da Hoodie

Directly following the relatability of “I Don’t Want Your Money,” Sheeran reminds us that, despite the trick he might have just played on us, we, in fact, cannot relate. Sheeran chronicles his “faded” tour ventures as he casually hops through continents on “1000 nights.” Following a recent trend of artists dismissing any criticism or opinions that are not glowing, Sheeran proclaims in the 2nd verse, “I don’t need to read reviews if you can’t do the things I do.” Although Ed Sheeran will most definitely not need to read this blog post, I hope he and his peers remember that ubiquitous success does not make anyone impervious to imperfection, and that consumers are allowed to and should continue to think critically about art. Maybe that sentiment will mean more coming from me once I tour multiple continents.

THE IN-BETWEENS

One of the strongest tracks, “Best Part of Me” featuring YEBBA, showcases Sheeran’s longstanding ability to churn out a heartfelt ballad, musically stripped back with the simplicity of his earlier work and his staple romantic prose. “Feels” featuring Young Thug and J Hus is short, sweet, and catchy, yet feels easily lost in the fray. A bit too often, Sheeran sounds out of place on his own album. On “South of the Border,” a fun track that feels slightly derivative of the mega-smash lead single “Shape of You” from ÷, Camila Cabello and Cardi B steal the show. And on the jarring yet intriguing closer, “BLOW” featuring Chris Stapleton and Bruno Mars, Sheeran’s first verse is quickly dulled by Mars’s shine. Kudos to Sheeran for gathering such talent, but when it works best, Sheeran’s in the passenger’s seat while his contemporaries are driving, making you forget who even owns the car.

BEST PROSPECTIVE SINGLE: “Put It All On Me” featuring Ella Mai.

Ella Mai is the true star of “Put It All On Me,” and the slight growl in her voice when she sings the line, “grab my waist,” is a pure knock-out. Riding off the magical spell she cast on us all with “Boo’d Up,” she can help Sheeran keep the momentum of his Cool Uncool Guy image. It’s got the perfect tempo for the radio and has “make me into a club remix” wisely written all over its DNA.

***

As Sheeran has released his past 3 solo major studio albums, + (2011), x (2014), and ÷ (2017) (seemingly having a thing for math), he has evolved yet always stuck to his strengths. All artists should experiment, bend genre boundaries, collaborate, and step out of their comfort zones. But No. 6 mostly makes the listener feel like Sheeran is trying to prove that hip-hop is his comfort zone and strength, as he laments “I wanna try new things, they just want me to sing / Because nobody thinks I write rhymes” on “Take Me Back to London,” apparently backtracking from the x deluxe track “Take It Back” opening assertion, “I’m not a rapper / I’m a singer with a flow.” Well, it turns out 2014 Ed was correct. Ed sounds great when he sings with a quick “flow” and sticks to what he knows. The most effective way for any artist to successively evolve is by utilizing their strengths to create something different. In the few moments on No. 6 when Sheeran does so, his spark glimmers through and we’re reminded of why all these artists jumped at the chance to work with him, though he should feel just as (if not even more) lucky. Hopefully, his next release will leave behind the numbers by subtracting a bit and return to the basic equations. Grade: 2/5

DISCLAIMER - REVIEWER’S BIAS: I have been an Ed Sheeran fan since his debut release in 2011; I remember watching a video livestream for the American release of + that only 12 other people joined. I love all of +, a majority of x (which hold, in my opinion, his 2 best songs, “I’m A Mess” and “Nina”), and very little of ÷. I was very disappointed by ÷, but still consider myself a fan. I really wanted to love No. 6 and went in with an open mind and heart, but it just felt like a conglomerate of failed crossover attempts that just didn’t do it for me. I truly believe Ed is talented and has the potential to make an album in the future that I can proudly call myself a fan of, but No. 6 doesn’t quite qualify.

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caatws · 4 years ago

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tagged by @justanalto to answer some questions !! :)

1. What is the color of your hairbrush? it’s like a blueish/greenish color and has moana on it! i usually comb my hair so i bought that brush just bc it was moana themed a few years ago lol. i don’t use it often

2. Name a food you never eat. there are many.....#justchildhoodocdthings ermmmm i don’t eat a lot of snack foods like chips or goldfish

3. Are you typically too cold or too warm? too warm, esp these days bc the weather is hella warming up so i wake up feeling hot a lot

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? i was working on some post-grad work stuff and then crossed over into my roommates’ room to watch the facebook livestream graduation 2020 thing cuz miley was on singing the climb

5. What is your favorite candy bar? i love a good hershey’s special dark chocolate moment

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports event? yes, quite a lot actually! my mom is super into sports, so i grew up going to a handful of pro sports games - mlb, nba, and nhl. never nfl tho bc my mom said the price of tix wasn’t worth it LMAOOOO. also when the olympics are here in la in like 8 years i wouldn’t mind checking out some events here !!

7. What is the last thing you said out loud? i asked my roommate if she wanted me to close the door as i was leaving her room bc she was abt to hop on a zoom call

8. What is your favorite ice cream? chocolate.....esp if it’s dark chocolate which is Rare

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? starbucks peppermint hot chocolate bc i’m a basic bitch!!!!

10. Do you like your wallet? yeah, i only upgraded from my middle school wallet like back in 2018 to a normal adult looking one. it’s purple and has enough pockets for all my shit! still bulky tho

11. What was the last thing you ate? ....nothing LMFAOOOO lunch is usually my first meal of the day and i haven’t had it yet. but last night i had ramen for dinner

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? last time i bought clothes was i ordered one of the black widow hoodies from hot topic like a month ago....other than that i have not gone clothes shopping since pre-quarantine

13. The last sporting event you watched? i don’t even know....i didn’t watch the super bowl, so it’d either be some time my roommate was watching hockey on our tv or whatever sports my mom was watching when i was still home for winter break in january

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? KETTLE CORN!!!!

15. Who is last person you sent a text message to? i sent a pic of miley singing the climb on the fb livestream on my friend’s laptop to my fam being like “lol miley is our commencement performer!!!!” and my mom was just like cool

16. Ever go camping? yes unfortunately....never for more than a night at a time tho bc i literally Cannot

17. Do you take vitamins? no bc what is Health

18. Do you go to church every Sunday? used to back in the days of catholic school (pre college), but now no longer

19. Do you have a tan? nah bc we can’t go outside bro

20. Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? chinese food 100% i personally think pizza is overrated

21. Do you drink soda with a straw? i don’t believe i ever do tbh

22. What color socks do you usually wear? i only own socks with colorful patterns/designs on them which is extra but very me i suppose

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? always! (a reasonable amount over tho, like within 5-10 mph over...this is average for californians, while many others speed hella)

24. What terrifies you? not a fan of heights nor uncertainty, and this pandemic has essentially destroyed my post grad hopes/plans and now i enter an uncertain future

25. Look to your left, what do you see? my bed, with a lot of stuff piled on top

26. What chore do you hate? all of them???? i guess doing the dishes mostly tho bc i hate the smell of wet dishes with food waste/residue on them and it just feels so gross i can’t

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? i think wow australia sounds like a wild country

28. What’s your favorite soda? orange soda 4ever

29. Do you go into a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? drive-thru if i can !!! but i don’t mind going in if there’s ample parking available

30. Who’s the last person you talked to? my roommate, when i asked if she wanted me to close the door LMAO

31. Favorite cut of beef? all of them????? i’m not picky with meat dsflkbn

32. Last song you listened to? as i was driving back into my garage the radio station i was listening to started playing sugar we’re going down which threw me for a time loop

33. Last book you read? i’ve been reading fanfic mostly recently so ig whatever the last thing i read for my internship weeks ago was, it would be that

34. Favorite day of the week? even tho time doesn’t matter in quarantine, i’ll always be a friday stan

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards? i used to be decent at it but i’m out of practice now. i’ll try to just type it rly quickly and see: zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba (ok so this took me like 5ish secs to type so that’s p good!)

36. How do you like your coffee? i don’t! i just drink peppermint hot chocolate :^)

37. Favorite pair of shoes? my doc martens, but they are now out of season for most of the rest of the year bc i live in southern california where it’s Hawt so i probs won’t wear them again til december

38. The time you normally go to sleep? sometime between 1 and 3 am

39. The time you normally get up? sometime between 9 and 11 am

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunsets are dope!!!

41. How many blankets on your bed? three, including my sheet, comforter, and a small quilt

42. Describe your kitchen plates. some are just round and plain white, some are round and white with a red decorative border, one is a pokémon plate meant for children that i bought cheap at target

43. Do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage? piña colada!!! but if i’m trying to get drunk i need vodka or somethin

44. Do you play cards? not much tbh! my apartment has been on a mahjong streak as of late

45. What color is your car? silver!!

46. Can you change a tire? no i’m useless but also my parents believe i’ll get murdered if stuck on the side of the road (which is possible) so they’d prefer me to call aaa for help

47. Your favorite province? uhhhhhhh no provinces here in the u.s. but canada has provinces and i went to british columbia (to visit vancouver) once as a kid so???? if we talking states tho y’all know i will die for california

48. Favorite job you’ve ever had? honestly my job at my school’s mail center this past year was rly cool! my boss was so great and the other student workers were chill, so it was a nice environment and i enjoyed learning all these mail-related skills

49. How did you get your biggest scar? i have no scars ;))))

50. What did you do today that made someone else happy? i had my final appointment with my therapist from my school since i graduated, so i thanked him for working with me the past year and a half!

i tag: anyone who wants to do this, i’m lazyyyyy hehe so feel free to steal!!!! i wanna read y’all’s answers

#madison.txt #about me #tagged #ty serena this was fun uwu

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lunawings · 5 years ago

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King of Prism SSS episode 11 commentary (Shin...)

Thankfully at least the Crunchyroll subs weren’t so bad this time. I mean, there was the usual weirdness, but no major mistranslations that effect the plot like that time. So.... great!!

(After last week my standards are so low....)

But anyway. A reminder that the commentary you guys are getting on these episodes now is coming from the place where I am after having two months to digest things. After seeing this in the theater I didn’t really want to talk about anything to anyone. HOW COULD I COMMENT ABOUT ANYTHING REMOTELY CASUAL WHEN SHIN IS SUFFERING. Was my thought. But... eventually............

I should have pointed this out last week, but did you catch that they added Dorachi to the OP?

So yeah, there are a lot of little moments in this episode that it took me weeks to even begin to think about (what with everything else that happens) and this is one of them. Joji leaves Jin so quickly once he’s not cheating at prism shows anymore. Haha I know this is just a gag scene probably but really! When you think about it in the context of that line Joji had last week that was like “He’s changed....” it made me realize that maybe Joji really does love the “do anything to win” Jin.

And since Jin isn’t interested in that right now, here we have Joji kissing Sanada.

Jin doesn’t care about winning anymore. All Jin cares about is Louis.

The relationship between Jin and Louis is something I have a lot of questions about. Why is this a part of the plot? For what purpose?

My only guess is it’s here to show that Jin can still love? Because he seems to really, truly love Louis. (Could you imagine him cradling one of the Shuffle boys after they failed a jump....)

And this is all despite the fact that Louis also reminds him of his worst enemies, Hiro and Hijiri.................

All of my past comments about how Shin changed things for everyone and how much everyone loves and believes in him have all been leading up to this moment.

Even after what just happened, they all run to him without any sort of hesitation. They aren’t afraid of him. They all still love him. Edel Rose.

For people watching this on TV, the titles of the episodes are all spoiled in advance.

But for us watching in the theater, we didn’t know.

When I saw Part 4 the first time, I chose a bad seat in the theater on purpose. Front row, far right. Because I just wanted to be alone, and there was guaranteed to be nobody sitting next to me unless the theater sold out. The theater sold out. And there I was in the right corner craning my neck up at an angle to this GIANT screen immediately right before me. Watching this happen. Small and helpless. Terrible chills washed all over my body and I think it was the most horrified feeling I have ever gotten while watching fictional media. I will never forget it......

When I first watched this, I got the feeling that Shine had been floating in a void for a long time. (Maybe even the 1,000 years they always talk about.) But recently I realized, maybe it was just the amount of time Shin’s Mom was pregnant for? Since Shine wasn’t sealed that long ago (recent enough that Yamada-san knew him) it could be possible that he was sealed the instant Shin was conceived....?

One of my biggest questions about Shin for the longest time was whether he was actually..... born or not. Since the date 2/29/2001 does not exist. But he was. And I am glad about that.

This is the first time we learn Shin’s name is written 新.

Also Shin, when will you accept your megane destiny.

(I guess he did in the last episode lol. But really, does he wear contacts...?)

So this is our Young of Prism reference.

Shin did meet Louis on a night at his grandmother’s house when he woke up and saw sparkling light. But Louis didn’t exist yet at that time. It was Rinne.

FUTURE 4TH PLACE (technically should have been 3rd) IN PRISM KING CUP

....ahh Shin................ I love you......................

His childhood was just so normal..........

(Shine must have been so bored...........)

This answered another one of my long-time questions about Shin. Where was he going? Why would he be out biking at night in casual clothes (not school uniform or sports uniform) in the middle of the night far from home?

At one point I was so concerned about this (and his birth date not being real) that I wondered if he didn’t even exist before he was biking along the river. But he did. Shin had a normal, happy, real childhood. Ahhh........

Christmas live! I already talked about this in my post about Leo’s episode, but yes it’s both an analog for the real life Music Ready Sparking concert, and a big part of the main story on Prism Rush: https://prism-rush.tumblr.com/mainstory

I’m so glad it was confirmed to be canon. (Well, it was already briefly mentioned in Pride the Hero. But still.)

THIS WAS MY QUESTION

Well, we finally got the answer in the last episode: Because the prism gods found out and changed Louis’ mission.

But you can kind of understand why Shine was..... pretty pissed off at Rinne/Louis when he finally resurrected in the last episode...................................... to say the least........

So this was weird. Shine said “Rinne” before Louis said his line from Pride the Hero “we’re the same now”, but the subs make it look like it’s the same line....?

This is honestly the only thing in this episode which I think is flat out wrong though. There is some other weird/inconsistent wording of course but I mean seriously FUCK IT. THAT’S NOT IMPORTANT NOW.

Crunchyroll A++++++++++++++++++++++ job this time.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but.....

Subconsciously, in the back of my mind somewhere.... at that very moment when Ace says CHOU YABEEE..... he became my favorite member of the Shuffle.

Just like..... Look at them. They’re all so happy. They didn’t look like this when they were with Joji. The best part about this episode finally airing on TV is that I can finally watch the new Shuffle’s performance on its own (without having to be forced to also watch.... the suffering....).

I can’t wait for this full song to come out. Even though we only hear it for like 10 seconds it’s actually gotten stuck in my head before.

And I don’t know if it was intentional, but I think having Ace perform in this episode is very ironic and incredibly significant. Because here we have Ace at his highest point while Shin is at his lowest point.

Ace doesn’t know about Edel Rose and why they needed to win this. He’s on the top of the world. This is his moment. He’s finally getting to perform. The Shuffle is finally free from Joji. For the Schwarz Rose boys.... Ace is the hero.

Since I am already on a roll talking about them, I guess I’ll bring up something I forgot to mention in my episode 5 commentary. When Part 2 premiered in theaters, nobody knew what Ace’s color was. People were actually using red, which would make no sense because Kokoro is red. You can’t have two members of the same group with the same color. But gradually people realized, due to the light blue A on his shirt and the light blue wrist band he has in some official art, that Ace is actually light blue. And here it was confirmed.

The interesting thing about this is, up until very recently Tsurugi was light blue. Only since his art for SSS he suddenly became pink.

So when we first saw that SSS concept art.... was it hinting all along at this very performance? That Ace would become the new center?

I don’t know.

What do you think?

What?

No I’m not stalling.

Why would I be stalling?

Well okay.... I guess.... the next scene we have to talk about is......

..................

................................

Where do I even begin.........................

So, a little while after this was shown in theaters I made a vague post containing my raw emotions about a particular prism show in Part 4: https://lunawings.tumblr.com/post/184802787153/okay-i-am-ready-to-talk-a-little-bit-about-king-of

So if you read it at the time, I’m sure now you know I was talking about this.

If you were scared or uneasy about it while watching it on your computer screen, imagine what it was like in the theaters. This performance effected me to the point where I had nightmares for about a week. And I’m not making a joke either. They weren’t the kind of nightmares I could describe, it was just like.... seeing bits and pieces of this show over and over again. I’d wake up panicked and have to watch something on YouTube, anything else, to try and get my mind off of it so I could sleep.

And like I said in my original post, the thing is, I just cannot get over how good this prism show was....... at accomplishing exactly what it was supposed to do. Which I’m assuming is, to make you feel VERY VERY UNEASY. It is just...... I can’t even..... I......................

And of course. The worst thing. The worst thing was coming to terms with the fact that I.... liked..... it..... ?

Because if I didn’t like it, I wouldn’t be thinking about it so much.

If I didn’t like it, it wouldn’t have been stuck in my head FOR 24 TERRIFYING HOURS after seeing Part 4.

MAKE IT STOP

GET OUT OF ME

SHINE

GET OUT OF MY HEAD

I DIDN’T EVEN FULLY NOTICE HIS SPOKEN LINES UNTIL THEY WERE SUBBED OH MY FUCKING GOD

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

It’s just it.....

This is so frighteningly real.

It actually worked.

I actually felt like Shine had some kind of power over me which lingered for days and days...........

I guess..... I can understand why Rinne loved him........................

........................

He meant like consecutive jumps.

Shin(e) is not doing a chain of consecutive jumps like Taiga, Yukinojo, etc. did. Instead he split himself and is doing a whole bunch of jumps at the same time.

DONT

So, I gotta take a moment to make this clear. Since, to my horror, people were actually referring to him as Shin in this scene in the livestream chat.

THIS IS NOT SHIN. THIS IS SHINE.

He used Shin’s body and Shin’s voice. But this was not Shin’s prism show.

Shin does not perform in this episode.

SHIN WAS ROBBED

OF HIS PRISM SHOW

BY SHINE

So, people who don’t actually follow me and/or just stumbled upon these posts may not know this. But Shin is (and basically always has been) my favorite.

After Part 4 premiered in theaters, I had multiple friends in Japan send me messages to check if I was OK. It was even the immediate reaction of a girl I just met in the theater after I casually mentioned that Shin was my favorite. Like practically grabbing my shoulders ARE YOU OK.

So.

Am I OK?

No, but..... yes.

By that I mean, I am not bitter that Shin does not get a new solo in SSS. In fact, I can recognize the irony, since up until this point Shin was the only Edel Rose boy to perform a proper show. And now he’s the only one who didn’t perform a new solo in SSS. So it’s even. Technically.

So that is not what upsets me about this episode. What DOES upset me is how this emotionally effects Shin the character, who now thinks this was all was his fault when it wasn’t.....................

I personally have known for a long time that something like this would happen, and have basically been emotionally preparing myself since the Pride the Hero era. No, scratch that, even since the first movie era when I suddenly noticed the dark moon mark on the back of his neck in Over the Sunshine (which took me months). I just had a bad feeling. Something told me that loving this character would someday bring me pain.

So if I truly loved him, I knew would have to be strong.

If you take the good, you have to take the bad.

King of Prism SSS premiered in theaters in Japan after Taiga’s episode aired on TV, and right before Kakeru’s. In that gap, I came back a changed person.

During the week of Kakeru’s episode I was just trying to feel normal again (while all y’all be sending me anon messages about whether we should pave over Africa or not FFS guys......). But from the next week onward was when I began to recover and was starting to want answers. You may have noticed, that was when I suddenly started talking about scores all the time.

Yes, part of it was trying to understand Taiga’s score and hoping it wasn’t lower for mathematical reasons since it later gets cut in half. But the truth is. The actual truth is. All that time I was trying to understand.... this.

This zero right here has been weighing on me for a long, long time. Every time I brought up scores, it was always there. Looming at the back of my mind.

For example, when I wrote “ I guess no matter what someone has to be last………………………….. ” in my episode 8 commentary, I wasn’t talking about Yu.

So. Let’s discuss this. How can someone perform, as actually get up on stage, but end up with 0 karats? Clearly the audience did have a reaction to Shin(e)’s show.....

But Kakeru said there wasn’t a system error. So it’s not that.

According to June, if I understood correctly, it was judged based on Shine himself. There was no heart in his show.

This lead me to question if this could explain some of the other character’s shows. How much does your own heart matter?

(According to this, it’s everything.)

No, I do not know why they still released a periodical update for a discontinued program. I guess there was a miscommunication in the prism IT department.

(But I suppose it’s possible other Shines still exist in other worlds....? But I really don’t want to touch that right now.)

So, in case you didn’t fully understand the gravity of this, with the way the score is now it is mathematically impossible for Edel Rose to win.

Even if they get a perfect score with their unit show.

Edel Rose has lost.

It’s over.

So this was the moment when I forgave my idiot son Taiga.

Even after Shin got a zero, he still blames himself.

And this may be a terrible way of thinking, but... I’m kinda glad they included this debacle with Taiga. Because it made it so this situation is not entirely Shin’s fault. (Technically it’s not his fault at all. It was Shine. But they don’t know that.)

They treat it like everyone’s fault.... oh Edel Rose.....

Also, my favorite moment in this episode and it has nothing to do with Shin.

Kakeru offers Taiga his support....

And Taiga actually takes it.

Also, I may be wrong but, I think this is the first time we have seen Kakeru cry. And not just in the main series, I mean like in ANY King of Prism media.

I find it interesting that he doesn’t mention Kouji here. He goes right to Hiro.

Despite their “rivalry”, he felt Hiro was counting on him.

I can’t believe y’all actually pointed this out in the livestream but it’s so true now that I think about it. There may be intentional symbolism with Hijiri’s hair here.

There are a lot of scenes where Hijiri is trying to pull his hair back. But in this scene he pushes it FORWARD.

He’s finally realized what really matters, and why he’s done all this in the first place.

Oh Shin. Baby. It wasn’t your fault............................

And that’s basically it. For now. We’ll talk about their gay unit outfits next time.

So to answer perhaps your most burning question: Yes, next week is the last episode.

Next week is the finale of King of Prism SSS. Yes. For real.

EDIT: OH MAN. Junta Terashima just confirmed in a Tweet that this is the outfit Leo originally made for Shin’s show. Ahhhhh.......

#king of prism #king of prism sss #king of prism shiny seven stars #shin ichijo #ichijo shin #kinpri

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minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong · 5 years ago

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Sweet Dreams Chapter Seven

Lucid dreaming: The process of being aware that one is dreaming. Some researchers believe that in lucid dreaming, the individual may be able to change the outcome of the dream or control their degree of participation in the imaginary (dream) environment.

Description: Lee Eunbyul has been plagued with hellish nightmares since she was a child. Not the sort of nightmares you may be familiar with. There are no monsters to evade, no serial killers to outrun, no auditoriums of classmates in front of whom to stand naked. Instead there is just…darkness. Endless darkness. With professional help, the dreams come less frequently. But after moving away from home to live with her sister, Eunbyul’s nightmare returns, only this time it’s different. This time…she’s not alone.

What would you do if you had the chance to change the outcome of not only your dreams, but your life?

Genre: Romance, Drama, Fluff, Angst, Slow Burn

Pairing: Namjoon x (f) OC

Word Count: 8.1k

Tags: Non-Idol!Au, Producer!Namjoon, Bookstore Clerk!Seokjin, Potter!Jimin, Producer!Yoongi, Dancer!Hoseok

Warnings: Frequent mentions of mental illness, infrequent swearing and mentions of alcohol

A/N: Hello! I hope you’re all doing well and enjoying this story so far! I think we are getting kind of close to the end! Please don’t be shy and send feedback, critique, questions, theories, and comments my way. I’ll be sure to respond to all asks I receive within a day of receiving them!

And again, if you want to follow my Twitter, my username is @/plzpunchmebts. I’m super active over there and hopefully in the future I’ll do some livestreams/chats with you all!

- Mercury

Previous Chapter – Next Chapter

Masterlist

Weekly updates: Sunday, 1PM (PST)

Eunbyul

“What are you doing?” asked Gaeul as I sat at the table, absently working my lower lip between my index finger and thumb.

I startled a little and dropped my hand with a thump beside my untouched bowl of cereal. I turned to her with wide eyes. “Hm?”

“You’re spacing out,” she remarked with raised brows. “More than normal.”

I glanced down at the bloated bits of cereal, swelling with milk, floating there as they slowly disintegrated. “Mm…,” I mumbled, picking up the spoon and swirling them around. “I dunno.” Again, without meaning to, my fingertips raised to brush against my lip and I furrowed my brow, cocked my head to the side, and exhaled slowly. “Feels weird.”

“What feels weird?” asked Gaeul, legs crossed on her dining chair beside me, her phone screen going dim as she neglected to touch it. She watched me with mascara smudging around her eyes from the day before, one brow raised in inquiry.

I sighed and pushed the bowl of cereal away. “Nothing,” I said with a shake of my head. I stood up and pulled my hair back to the nape of my neck, restraining it with the old rubber band I’d stolen from the newspaper on the front mat. “I gotta go to work.”

She groaned, tossing her head back. “I feel like you work more than I do these days,” she grumbled.

I chuckled and pulled an old white baseball cap on my head. “Better put in more hours, Miss Corporate Ladder,” I teased with a smile.

She stuck out her tongue and pushed off her chair, meandering toward the mural which was slowly, gradually, growing in detail. “If you’re free later, let’s watch a movie.”

“Are you always this nice?” I asked as I slid my shoes onto my feet with a laugh.

She smirked over her shoulder at me. “Only on my days off.”

I laughed and nodded. “If I get home in time,” I said.

She waved a hand, nonchalant, and returned to stewing over her mural. “See ya.”

“Yeah.”

I stared at the junction between the kiln and its lid, slack-jawed, mind blank, as fresh noontime sunlight filtered in through the workshop curtains. I really couldn’t place it, but something felt like it had shifted. Some imperceptible piece of me, set at a new angle. Like a locked door left just slightly ajar. I felt my fingers on my lips before I realized I was again touching them. I jumped a little and dropped my hand, but in the process nearly knocked a platter of fresh porcelain teacups off the table beside my arm. I fell to my knees as I slid to catch the lip of the metal platter.

“Jesus,” I breathed out, sliding the platter so it lay further from the edge of the table. I stood up and wiped the clay dust from my knees, patting my skin. If I didn’t get myself together soon, I’d end up making a real mistake.

I turned to see Jimin removing another batch from the kiln beside me, and from the smile on his face I knew he’d seen the whole thing. Even though he didn’t look at me, that cheeky smile told me all I needed to know. I sighed, rubbing my forehead, and nodded.

“Go ahead and say what you’re thinking,” I said gently, resting a hip against the kiln.

He chuckled, eyes nearly disappearing, and shrugged. “I’m not thinking anything.”

“Just say it.”

He smiled as he met my eyes, still bent over the kiln. “Just thinking you seem like you’ve got a lot on your mind today.”

I stiffened, crossing my arms, before relenting with a sigh. “I feel…kind of complicated.”

“Mm…,” he remarked gently, shutting the kiln once he’d retrieved the last piece from inside. “Wonder why.”

“Me too.” I stretched a little and groaned. “I’m gonna go vacuum the carpets.”

“Careful,” he began with a barely contained laugh, “might end up getting sucked in.”

I rolled my eyes and, as I passed, gave the back of his head a flick. He winced and I chuckled. “I’ll suck you in.”

He laughed as I stepped into the shop. “That sounded dirty!”

“Only because your mind is dirty!”

Again, his laugh ushered me out and I got to work quickly with the vacuum.

The front door bell pinged and, as I was on my hands and knees scrubbing a decade-old clay stain on the wall beside the potter’s wheel, I scrambled on all fours toward the aisle to greet the customer. But Jimin, having only just begun patting the clay into position, laughed at me efforts and patted my back with one dirty hand before jogging out from around my shoulder.

“I’ll take care of it. Just…I dunno, watch the clay or something,” he said through laughter. He rushed to the sink to wash his hands before jogging out to meet the patron.

I sighed and slid my cleaning supplies away and stood, taking a moment to peek around the corner at Jimin and the customer. Jimin stood facing me beside the register, and the customer stood with his back to me. Broad shoulders, honey-blonde hair, dressed simply and stylishly in a white tee and jeans, he stood with one muscled arm extended, resting on the register counter. I couldn’t see his face, but he was familiar nonetheless somehow. I couldn’t quite place him.

I lingered there for a moment, but returned to reality once I realized I was again touching my lip. And with a flutter in my stomach, I realized I was staring right at him. Flushed, I turned around and forced myself to sit at the wheel, watching the clay. It was nothing more than a blob, just an asymmetrical lump of hard material, too stiff, not even workable yet. I poked it with my index finger and found, as I expected, an unyielding mound of potential that I couldn’t quite tap into.

Well, I reasoned, softening the clay isn’t too hard. Shouldn’t matter if I do it for him. And I was right, partially anyway. So, slowly, I began pounding the clay with my palms, working it almost like bread dough. For a while, it felt hopeless. And as the dull hum of conversation drifted on between that customer and Jimin, I found my focus becoming acutely trained on that lump of clay beneath my warm fingertips, slowly softening as I molded it. Tentatively, I pressed a foot on the pedal, just enough for the wheel to lurch to a slow spin. Quietly, I smoothed my hands along the sides of the clay, guiding it up into a lopsided circle.

Perhaps because I’d been keenly observing Jimin’s technique for a while, or perhaps because I’d managed to find a way to turn my brain off, but the process felt natural, comfortable. I dipped my hands into the slip Jimin had prepared and again ran my hands over the smooth ball of clay. Maybe, if I just pressed my thumbs a little, I could create an indent in the center. Like a bowl. Without my brain telling my hands, they did just that and my thumbs dug into the clay, pushing and smoothing it as I coaxed the material into a shape I liked. It was rough and not quite symmetrical, but it felt…nice.

There’s beauty in something even if it isn’t perfect. Hadn’t Jimin said exactly that? I stared at the slightly misshapen, off-kilter almost-bowl and couldn’t help but smile, just a little bit. I pressed my thumb again, this time pinching the clay with my index finger on the other side, pulling it out to create the lip of the bowl.

“Looks good,” said a voice from behind me.

I shouted and jumped, my foot slipping off the pedal and my palms colliding with the clay, flattening my bowl. I stared down at the mess with a gape before turning to see Jimin leaning against the rack of pottery with crossed arms and a smile. I coughed a little and stood up, hiding my dirty hands behind my back like a kid who’d just been caught tracking mud in the house.

He smiled and shook his head. “You could’ve kept going.”

I cleared my throat and shook my head. “I was just bored,” I said.

He chuckled. “Are you sure about that?”

“Where’s the customer?” I asked before he’d even finished the last syllable, too eager to redirect the conversation.

He blinked a few times. “Oh, uh, he’s browsing. I’m gonna work on a commission for him, so he was stopping by to tell me what he wanted made.”

I nodded. “Alright then. I’ll go see if he needs help-,” I said, walking quickly past him.

But Jimin grabbed the crook of my elbow with wide eyes. “Wait a second,” he said, brows knit. “I think you should really keep working on that bowl, Eunbyul.”

I gently guided his hand off my arm and smiled at him. “I’m gonna go wash my hands off now,” I said, taking a glance back over my shoulder at the ruined bowl.

As my gaze swept back toward Jimin, I caught the outline of someone’s body on the other side of the shelves, peering through the spaces between ceramics. I stiffened, ready to point out the observer to Jimin, but they quickly moved out of my view, walking out from the aisle and into the larger shop space.

“I’m gonna go help him,” I said, maneuvering around Jimin with my arms raised like a surgeon prepped for an operation, two arms raised, palms facing my body. But once I emerged beside the register, the man’s strong back was retreating toward the front door. “Wait!” I called, mimicking Jimin’s frantic tone from before. I cleared my throat and managed my voice a little. “Did you need help with anything?”

The man waved his hand over his shoulder and shook his head, blonde hair catching the sunlight as it bounced. “I’m good, thanks,” he said before ducking out the front door and onto the sidewalk.

And I stood there, stupefied, for a long moment. Just staring at the space left behind in his absence, the empty space in front of the doorway where he was. His voice, the words, replayed over and over in my messy mind and I couldn’t force them out. Instead, I could only stand exactly still, hands dripping slip down my bare forearms, mouth open like I might shout something else, stunned into stillness.

Until I tasted something chalky on my tongue and spat a little, realizing too late that I’d lifted my dirty index finger to touch my lips once again…

I stared at my reflection for a long moment in the bathroom of Hyejin’s Books. Behind me, greenery clung to the wall from a hanging basket, alive and vibrant. But me…somehow I looked sallow, ill. It had to have been from lack of proper sleep, but surely my own mood was contributing. My eyes were heavy, my skin looked almost papery, dull. And as much as I hated to admit it, Mom was right when she said I was looking thinner. I knew it was my fault for eating less, but my brain felt like it was everywhere at once these days. I found it difficult to force myself to eat with my head so messy. But as I pulled at one of my under-eye bags with my index fingertip, I couldn’t help but groan a little and turn away. It was a bit hard to look at.

As I took a much needed step backwards, I caught sight of a pair of stylish black boots beneath one of the toilet stall dividers, like someone was sitting there holding their knees. And I remembered. That person in the last stall, sitting here alone some days.

Crying some days.

Today, they weren’t crying. Just…sitting there. And I wasn’t so sure what was worse. I wavered there for a long moment, brows knit, biting my lower lip and swaying from foot to foot as I lingered in indecision. Of course, bothering the stranger would be weird. It would be odd.

But…the fact that they were here again, in my path again…

Didn’t that mean I had another chance…?

I sighed, glancing at the door, before taking another look over my shoulder down the bathroom at the stall door. As I did, I caught another glimpse of my reflection. Haggard, tired, worn out, but…in my eyes I saw something new.

Worried.

I inhaled sharply and took the few paces needed to reach the last stall. I stopped in front of it and, with bated breath, gave the door three sharp knocks. To my surprise, the response was nearly instantaneous. “Occupied,” said a stern voice from inside.

Shit, shit, shit, I thought, gnawing on the inside of my cheek. Of course they didn’t wanna be bothered! Jesus Christ…

“You still there?” asked the voice, gentler this time.

I swallowed hard, blushing, and stared at the stall door like I was looking at the voice’s owner. “Um…just…checking if you needed, uh…toilet…paper…,” I said, and the excuse was lame even to my ears.

“Uh…,” responded the voice. “N-No, I’m good.”

Sweating, I nodded and turned on my heel toward the exit, ready to run all the way back home. But before I could push my way back out into the bookstore, I heard some shuffling, like the person was adjusting their position, and along with it, one simple phrase.

“Thank you,” the voice said, and suddenly it sounded like a child. Breathy, quiet, uncertain. Much like mine…

“Uh…yeah. Of course,” I said, clearing my throat as I stood awkwardly in front of the exit. “If…um…if you happen to need…toilet paper…you know, later on down the line…my name is Eunbyul and I’m here almost every day.” I stared at the bathroom door, heart hammering, awaiting their response.

And, quietly, one came in the form of a laugh. “Okay,” they said. “I’ll remember.”

I nodded and rushed out into the bookstore without another word.

As I rounded the corner from the bathroom hall, I caught sight of Seokjin behind the counter and wished I hadn’t. With flaming red cheeks and a hyper-awareness of my own social ineptitude, meeting with him was just about the last thing I was ready for. But when I glanced his way, I found him already watching me with a half-smile, resting his cheek in his hand as he chuckled a few times, one brow raised. Today his hair was styled out of his face, and he wore a tee that looked expensive. He looked a bit like a rich grad student or perhaps the son of some hotel chain.

He had the confidence for both.

“Eunbyul!” he called as I averted my gaze and attempted to slip past him.

I cursed under my breath and swiveled around to face him. I managed a tense smile and bowed my head in greeting. “Hey,” I said.

He smiled and beckoned me toward the register and, unable to find a reason to say no, I complied. Once I approached, he scrutinized me further, squinting his eyes as he looked at me from head to toe in the light of the unforgiving sunset.

“You look beat,” he said with a sigh. “Do you sleep enough?”

I blinked a few times, struggling for a response, but eventually settled for a grunt and a shake of my head. “No,” I said at last.

He hummed and clicked his tongue, leaning back to cross his arms. “Better work on that,” he said, then sighed. “I’m off in, like, thirty minutes. Wanna go get something to eat? My treat.”

I stiffened and waved my hands. “Ah, no, no. That’s fine,” I said, shaking my head.

He rolled his eyes and reached out to flick my forehead. “I already decided anyway. Just wait for me, alright? Thirty minutes.”

I stared at him for a long time, brow furrowing. I couldn’t quite figure it out, but something was different today. Normally, an innocuous touch from Kim Seokjin would have sent my mind spinning like a top, but today…

Nothing, really.

I chomped down on my lower lip, puzzled, and nodded once. “Alright,” I said, and was surprised by how easily I relented.

But it would have been a lie to say I wasn’t curious. Not only about Seokjin, but about why today of all days talking with him didn’t give me butterflies…

I watched as Seokjin tended to the meat, smoke hanging low in the air of the barbecue joint. It was a short building near the beach with a decidedly adult crowd. All around were men in business suits and loosened ties, older women gossiping, clumps of people gathered here and there for two separate company dinners.

And then, in the front corner by one of the only windows, two twenty-somethings with two plates of meat and three bottles of soju.

My shot sat untouched beside my chopsticks, but Jin had helped himself as soon as we’d entered. I wasn’t counting, but he had to have been on his third by now as he struggled with the metal tongs and the hot stove. He grumbled all the while as he managed the flame, turned the pieces of pork, added bits of kimchi, and his brow was low, jaw set. Like it was a big labor.

I’d offered to do it myself multiple times, but he’d silenced me with a look every time.

Perhaps he liked controlling things like that.

“You must be hungry,” said Jin as he finally tore his attention from the grill to look at me with a flushed smile.

I raised my brows. “Hm?”

He raised the tongs to point to his lips and only then did I realize that, once again, I was touching my own. I quickly dropped my hand and offered a halfway smile. “Ah, yeah,” I said, grabbing my chopsticks. “Haven’t eaten much today.”

“With Kim Seokjin, you’ll eat like a king!” he said, following the statement with a loud, lilting laugh.

I couldn’t help but smile for real, just a little. I played with my chopsticks for a moment, making them walk across the table. “I can pay my share…”

“So you’ve said,” he began, eyeing me over the meat. “Three times.”

I chuckled. “Sorry,” I said.

He hummed. “If you’re sorry, take a shot with me!” he said, then paused. “Ah, once you’ve eaten something, of course.” He quickly began grabbing pieces of pork and placing them on my small plate, stacked one on top of the other. “Here.”

I bowed my head before taking the first bite. I had to admit, it was cooked nicely. Having grown up in an industrious family, I was used to first-rate barbecue from my dad, but Jin’s skills nearly matched. My eyes went wide.

“Good?” he asked, and there was a hopeful glimmer in his eyes.

I nodded and held out a thumbs-up. “Mhm!” I said, taking another bite. “Really good.”

He sighed and nodded. “As expected,” he said, taking a bite of his own. “You know, in high school whenever my friends and I would go out they’d always pay for my share so that I’d cook the meat.”

I raised my brows, another bite between my teeth. “Hm?” I asked. “Are you sure they weren’t using you?” As the joke left my lips, I regretted it. Who was I to be acting so familiar?

To my surprise, however, Seokjin simply laughed and nodded his head. It seemed he was more lighthearted than I thought. He waved his chopsticks, taking a sip of water. “Ah, is that so?” he asked through laughter.

We locked eyes across the small table and, for a few seconds, I waited in suspense for the moment my heart would race, the moment my palms would get sweaty, the moment my stomach would drop. But, as the eye contact continued, I was left with…nothing.

I cleared my throat and grabbed for my shot, holding it out across the grill towards Seokjin. “I’m ready for my shot now,” I said.

He smiled and clinked the rim of his glass against mine. “Cheers,” he said gently, tipping the shot back.

I followed suit, pressing the cool glass against my warm lips, letting the soju slide down my throat in one fell swoop. I winced a little as I returned to sitting straight and, with squinted eyes, met Seokjin’s gaze. He was already laughing at me.

“Don’t drink often?” he asked.

I hissed just slightly as I exhaled. “Ah,” I began. “You can tell?”

He laughed. “Just a little.” He met my eyes with a smirk. “So…your boss? The pottery guy?”

I raised my brows, already pouring both of us another shot. “Jimin? What about him?”

“Has he…you know, taught you anything cool? About pottery?” asked Seokjin as he took a sip of his shot.

I took a sip as well and hummed. “Yeah. A lot, actually,” I said, then waved my hand. “It’s probably boring though.”

“Mm…,” he continued, tapping a finger against the wooden table, eyes down. “Well, I always see you reading about…like, mysteries and stuff, right?”

I blinked a few times, the alcohol warming my skin, and met his eyes. “Jin, are you making small talk?” I asked.

He stiffened, eyes round. “Uh, well…I was just…,” he began, then stopped and gave a sheepish laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry, it’s just…with the meat cooked and the cheers done…I guess…”

And suddenly I felt the nervous part of me settle back into place. I exhaled in a sigh and smiled. “No social lubricant,” I said with a nod. “I get that.”

He met my eyes with raised brows. “Yeah?”

“Mhm,” I said, taking another bite of meat. “Like, at the bookstore it’s easy to find things to talk about, right? Since it’s work. No need to manufacture conversation topics.”

“Right!”

“But…one on one in a new place…it’s harder, isn’t it?” I asked, smiling.

He nodded, snapping his fingers. “Exactly.”

I chuckled. “I didn’t know you felt that way too.”

“Ah, well…,” he started, laughing a little. “Contrary to how I seem, I’d consider myself quite the introvert.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” he said, then sighed, resting his cheek in one hand and popping a piece of pork in his mouth with the other. “Probably one of the reasons I wanted to reach out to you in the first place.”

I nodded, sipping my soju. “Hm…”

“Sorry, was that offensive?” he asked. “I’m not trying to imply that you, like…need someone to reach out to you.”

I smiled. Where I would have fumbled with my words and taken to going silent, it seemed Seokjin tended to talk more. Much like Jimin. “I get it,” I said. “I don’t really know how to interact with people,” I said, but as the words came out the felt like deja vu. “Or maybe…I can interact if there’s no pressure. If I don’t feel like I’m…,” I continued, but still the words perplexed me, “in the way or…being a burden.” When had I said these exact words?

Seokjin nodded once more and exhaled, like he was relieved. “Well thank God that’s outta the way,” he said, pouring another shot for both of us. He raised his glass for me to bump, and I did with furrowed brows.

That sentence…that interaction…it was so jarringly familiar. Like I remembered something but only in stranded pieces, like the answer was there in my brain, filed somewhere just barely out of reach.

Jin tipped back his shot, and I didn’t waste any time in doing the same. Frustrated, I took the shot down and poured another.

“Eunbyul, please, just…tell me your address!” whined Seokjin as I leaned heavily against him, both of us walking in an unsteady line down the sidewalk.

I shook my head, shutting my eyes and stumbling just slightly. “No! I don’t give my address to strangers. No, no.”

“We aren’t strangers!” he protested, groaning. He dragged me beside him like a limp doll.

I dug my heels down into the sidewalk and Seokjin skidded to a halt, whipping around to pout at me. “Okay, then what’s my address?” I asked, placing both hands on my hips and staring at him through half-open eyes.

He scoffed. “I don’t know it!”

“Then we’re strangers. Friends know,” I said with a nod, turning on my heel to walk staunchly back to the restaurant.

“No, no! Eunbyul, the shop is closing, we gotta go!” he said, grabbing me by the crook of the elbow.

I shouted and tried to thrash out of his grip. “Hey!” I shouted, turning to glare up at him. “You can’t just grab women! Or men! Or non-binary people! You-you can’t just grab people!” I said, shaking my head.

He sighed, gripping his nose bridge. “Jesus Christ,” he mumbled.

I sighed and swayed a little. “Take me home, Jin,” I commanded, pointing my finger at him.

He rolled his eyes. “That’s what I’m trying to do!”

“Huh! Did you just roll your eyes at me?” I asked, stumbling closer with my finger pointed squarely at him. “Are you disrespecting me?”

He laughed, leaning away from me as I stood an inch away from him. “No, Eunbyul. I’m trying to get you home.”

I hummed. “Well I don’t give my address to strangers,” I said, smirking as I crossed my arms.

He groaned. “This is going nowhere,” he said, sighing as he turned his back to me. He bent a little at the knees and patted his lower back with one hand.

“What kind of pose is that?” I asked, laughing.

“Not a pose,” he said, peeking at me over his shoulder. “Hop on.”

I raised my brows. “On your back?”

“Yeah. You’re slowing us down anyway,” he said. “And since you won’t give me your address, I’ll just take you to my place until you sober up. It’s a block away.”

I hummed and sauntered toward him, draping my arms over his shoulders and holding tight. He grabbed both of my thighs and stood up straight. “I haven’t had a piggy-back ride in years,” I giggled into his ear.

He nodded with a grunt, adjusting me on his back. “Mhm.”

“Hey, is your heart racing?” I asked, patting his chest with my palm. “Having someone so close?”

His laugh rang out into the near-empty street. “What am I, a middle schooler?” he asked.

I chuckled. “No,” I said. “Big middle schooler.”

“I’m too smart to be a middle schooler anyway,” he said with a sigh, our pace slow as we walked down the night-drenched sidewalk. Streetlamp's punctured the darkness only every now and again. I was briefly relieved that Seokjin was here.

“You didn’t answer though,” I said, letting my head loll forward so I was closer to his ear. “Is your heart racing? Like badump-badump,” I said, laughing as I blew a puff of air against his skin.

He gagged. “God, you’re giving me goosebumps!” he exclaimed. “And the answer is no, alright?”

“Hm…,” I said with a nod, shutting my eyes as I rested my head against Jin’s shoulder. “Me either. Weird, huh?”

“I must not be your type,” he said with a laugh.

I smiled. “I guess not,” I said, yawning as I nestled into his back. Somehow, it was warm and comfortable and the siren song of sleep was inescapable.

My head throbbed as I peeled my eyes open, finding myself lying on my side in the darkness. It took me several disorienting moments to realize where I was. The pitch blackness, the vague chill amongst the absolute absence of feeling…

“Eunbyul,” said a voice from beside me.

I turned and found Namjoon, sitting by my thigh with squinted, tired eyes and a soft dimpled smile. I sighed, relieved to remember it all again. “It’s Namjoon!” I said, pushing myself up to sitting and collapsing against his chest. As my chest collided with his left pectoral a slew of giggles escaped me. “Oh no,” I said, laughing against him.

He placed gentle hands on my shoulders and guided me back, brows furrowed as he scrutinized me in the dark. “You…are you drunk right now?” he asked.

I sniffled a little and reached grasping fingers out toward his torso, eager to hug him close again. “Mm, a little,” I said, then laughed again. “A lot.”

He sighed, gripping his nose bridge, and shut his eyes for a moment. In an instant, we arrived in a nice apartment, furnished monochromatically with greys and blacks and whites and blues. Directly behind me was a nice white sofa and a big television screen. Wide-eyed, I looked around me with a grin. The kitchen adjoined the living room, and the floor was chilly. Polished tile. I ran a finger along it and laughed.

“Wow,” I said as I glanced around.

Namjoon nodded, standing and walking quickly into the kitchen. He rifled around in the big fridge and produced an ice pack, falling once again to his knees beside me. “Not sure what good it’ll do since we’re in a dream, but it’s worth a shot,” he said, placing the pack along my hairline.

I hummed, nodding once with shut eyes as the pleasant cold spread across my skin. “Feels nice,” I mumbled. “Ahh, but where is this?” I asked, opening only one eye to peer at him from above the rims of my glasses.

He chuckled and helped me to my feet, guiding me to rest on the couch. He joined me with a thump and a sigh. “It’s my apartment. Well…the one I share with a senior from college.”

“Ah, so you live with a friend?” I said, smiling with a nod. “Good! Now I don’t have to worry.”

He laughed. “You were worried?”

I nodded, eyes shut, and leaned back against the couch. “Mhm,” I said, then jumped and snapped my fingers, eyes wide. Namjoon stared at me, clearly startled, and grabbed my shoulders to keep me from moving too much. I turned to him. “You came to the shop today.”

He exhaled slowly and nodded. “Ah, that?” he asked, releasing me. He turned a little bashful, rubbing his arm with a shy smile. “I’m commissioning Jimin.”

“He’s talented!” I exclaimed, clapping my hands. “Really good, really.”

Namjoon turned to me and chuckled. Carefully, he twisted around and grabbed the thick blanket draped over the back of the couch. He returned to me with a gentle, tired smile and placed the blanket over my legs and torso, grabbing the fallen ice pack and replacing it atop my head. I offered him a slow smile and, without thinking much, reached out and pinched his cheek.

He laughed, grabbing my hand so I’d stop squeezing his skin, and instead simply interlaced our fingers. I felt my face go hot and forced myself to look away, look back at the coffee table. “I saw you there,” I said, and the drunken haze relented for just a moment. “For a second, but I knew somehow.”

“You knew what?” he asked, leaning in to get a better look at me.

I leaned back, flushed. “I dunno. Just knew.”

He smiled and that did me in. The dimples, the rows of perfect teeth, the way his eyes got smaller like he really meant it. My heart kicked up, stomach fluttering. I blinked at him for a moment. “Hey, I wanna kiss you. Is that alright?” I asked before I could stop myself.

His smile vanished and it was his turn to go red. “Huh?” he asked, eyes round, innocent. “W-wait, you’re drunk, right?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“Then no,” he said, pulling back a little.

But I kept a firm hold on his hand. “But I want to.”

He laughed, eyeing me from a safer distance, still beautiful even in the dim apartment. “Tomorrow night then. If you’re sober.”

“I can be sober,” I said with a nod. I released his hand and crossed my arms, clearing my throat. I settled my gaze on him and locked my jaw, nodding again. “Sober.”

He laughed once more and shook his head, and it was clear he was now on guard. “No,” he said.

I sighed, collapsing back against the couch. “You’re right. I’m drunk,” I said with a laugh. “It’s your fault anyway. Seeing you today made me feel weird.”

He chuckled. “Really?”

“Mhm.”

“Well…I saw you too. I was watching you at the wheel,” he said with a wistful sigh, eyes going faraway. “You looked…really cool.”

I laughed. “Me? Cool?”

“Really cool,” he said. “You looked…peaceful, I guess. Your hands anyway. That’s all I could see.”

I hummed. “I messed it up.”

He glanced out the window behind my head, at the full moon, and smiled just barely. “Did you?” he asked. “Isn’t that normal though?”

I stiffened. “Huh?”

“Isn’t it normal to mess up sometimes? So that you can get better?” he asked.

I blinked, eyes wide, and stared right at him. At the peaceful smile on his lips, the warmth in his gaze, the way his skin went gold in the low light. “You sure I can’t kiss you?” I asked, persistent as my heart kicked up again.

He laughed. “No,” he said, eyeing me. “What’s gotten into you? Is this how you are when you drink?”

I pouted, crossing my arms and leaning away from him. “No,” I said. “As a matter of fact, it’s not. I didn’t even feel anything tonight for Jin and he carried me back to his place.”

At this, Namjoon’s smile vanished and he squared his gaze on me without a hint of playfulness. Deathly serious, his brow furrowed. “He took you back to his place?”

I covered my mouth. “No! Not like that,” I said. “I didn’t wanna give him my address so…”

He exhaled loudly, glancing back at the floor. “Byul…”

“I promise! I don’t have feelings for him anymore,” I said, shaking my head and lifting my arms to form an X in front of my chest. “Not at all.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about,” he said, rubbing his temples. “Are you sure it’s safe?”

I nodded. “He’s nice.”

Namjoon eyed me, skeptical. A few tense moments passed that way, me desperately and drunkenly attempting to sate his concerns and him watching me carefully. He raised one brow. “Are you sure you don’t like him?”

I shook my head and patted my hands against the couch. “No!” I whined. “I’m certain. Even today, without my memories, I didn’t feel anything and that’s what made me feel weird, you know?” I asked, sighing. “I think from the start it was just because of one thing.”

“Huh?”

“Why I liked him in the first place,” I said, running a hand through my hair and knocking the ice pack onto the floor. I stared down at it with a sigh, my attention stolen. “He reminded me of a boy I knew when I was a kid. Confident and handsome and smart. Someone I could depend on,” I said, then laughed. “But he’s not like that at all!”

“You realized that?” asked Namjoon.

I nodded, then paused to cough a little. “Ah, you know, when I was a kid I got lost? For a few days, you know? I got lost in the woods and couldn’t find my way out,” I said, laughing. But an old ache returned, an old anxiety. And laughing didn’t fix it. I paused. “Mm…it was scary.”

“You never told me that,” he said softly, watching me from across the couch.

I laughed again and patted his arm. “Don’t look guilty! It’s not your fault,” I said with a sigh. “Ah, anyway, I don’t have feelings for Seokjin. I promise,” I said, holding out my hand for him to shake.

Namjoon raised his brows and, tentatively, took my hand in his, shaking twice. “I mean…I don’t really have any right to tell you who and who not to like…”

“You still don’t believe me!” I exclaimed, tearing my hand away. I stood to my feet and crossed my arms, staring down at him with a glare. “How can I prove it?”

He chuckled and shook his head, reaching out to gently touch my waist with one hand. “You don’t have to, alright? It’s fine. We…we’re in a very unique situation.”

“Hah! It still sounds like you don’t believe me,” I protested, frustrated. I bent at the waist so our eyes were level and I noticed his go wide. “Tell me the truth. Are you regretting confessing to me last night?” I asked.

He stiffened. “Huh? What-no! Not at all,” he said, laughing. “What would give you that idea?” he asked, his thumb rubbing into my side, comforting.

I inhaled sharply. “Well you don’t believe me about Jin, and you won’t let me kiss you. I’m wondering if you regret it,” I said, throat constricting. “I wonder if you’d be relieved if I liked Jin.”

He raised his brows. “What? I’m only saying no because you’re drunk,” he said with another laugh.

“Don’t laugh!” I said, eyes teary. “I think I really like you, okay?”

He barely contained another laugh behind one hand and shook his head. “Me too.”

“Even now?”

“Somehow, yeah,” he said.

I knitted my brow, still bent uncomfortably to look at him close. And, too soon, I felt that distinctive tug in my chest. Namjoon’s eyes flashed with panic, and I knew he’d felt it too. We locked gazes and I felt my heart begin to race.

“A-a peck then,” I said, raising my brows.

He laughed, tossing his head back, his hand still warm against my waist. “You’re still on that?”

I nodded. “Since we’re waking up soon anyway…,” I said, pouting. “What’s the harm?”

He smiled. “You’re a good salesman,” he remarked, laughing again.

“Is that consent?” I asked.

Again, through laughter, he responded. “Yes.”

“Okay,” I said with a nod, placing both of my cold hands against his warm cheeks. I bent down just a little closer and, wordlessly, pressed a chaste kiss against his lips.

“Ugh,” I groaned as I rolled over in the sheets.

I yanked my glasses off my face and tossed them aside, but as soon as I did I regretted it as I heard them clatter against the ground. Strange. Normally, I’d have enough space in my bed to toss my glasses onto the other pillow. Slowly, I peeled my eyes open and saw to my surprise that not only was the bed smaller — a full instead of a queen —, but the sheets were unfamiliar and the scent wasn’t mine.

I jerked upright, but as I did my head began spinning and I felt I might vomit. I held a hand firmly against my mouth and squeezed my eyes shut, holding it in. I tried to manage my breathing, but I felt remarkably ill.

Of course, it was a hangover.

I opened my eyes once more and glanced around, running a hand through my knotted, slept-on hair. The clock on the wall read 4:03. Jin’s apartment was small, a studio, with sparse furniture and few decorations. It seemed the most expensive thing in the whole apartment was a pretty, large media setup complete with fluorescent keyboard and gaming computer. I’d only seen those sorts of things in videos online. Wincing, I looked around once more, but like the first time I found no Seokjin in the dark studio apartment.

Carefully, I swung my legs out over the bed and, trying not to disrupt my equilibrium too much, padded across the faux wood floor to the kitchen in search of water. As I passed the old sofa, I noticed a few pillows and a blanket strewn haphazardly across it. He’d given me the bed to sleep on the couch? Softly, I smiled and folded the blanket, laying it across the back of the couch. I reorganized the pillows and made a halfhearted effort to remake the bed.

The security system sang a little tune and Seokjin entered, popping off both shoes and flicking on the light before even noticing I was up and walking. But when we met eyes, we both shouted in surprise.

“Ah!” he screamed, dropping the grocery bags he’d been carrying. Startled by the sound of groceries hitting the floor, he jumped and I fell to my knees to help recollect the fallen goods. “Shoot, when did you wake up?”

I shook my head, but even that made me want to barf. “Um, just a few minutes ago.”

He sighed as we finished repacking the food and led the way into his kitchen where he set the bags on the counter. “Sorry I was out. I realized I didn’t have any real food, so I…,” he said, then waved his hand. “Let me go open the window or something. Smells like alcohol in here.”

“What are you doing up so early?” I asked, watching him

He maneuvered around me, hopping over a few miscellaneous clothes and household items strewn on the floor to the window. “Ah, couldn’t sleep. I was…kinda worried,” he said with a laugh. Like it was no big deal.

He pulled the curtains up and swung it open, letting fresh summer morning air leak inside. The sky was lavender with the breaking day, and the cityscape looked all too big from behind Seokjin’s small window.

I began unpacking the groceries quietly, sighing as I placed a bell pepper on the countertop. “I’m…I’m really sorry about last night, Seokjin.”

“I told you to call me Jin, right?” He searched my face with a smile and, upon finding none, simply sighed. He joined me and rested a hip against the counter, crossing his arms. “Hey, don’t be sorry. It was…mostly fun,” he joked, shoving my shoulder.

I laughed and nodded, rubbing my aching head. “I guess so.”

“If you feel bad, help me make breakfast,” he said with a grin. And, of course, I couldn’t say no.

But as I began removing packages of food from the plastic bags, I began to feel that tingly sensation in my lips again, and my focus wouldn’t waver as I touched my lip with a fingertip.

Seokjin worked the stove as I chopped vegetables. He’d insisted upon fried rice for breakfast. Something about oil and carbs being good for hangovers. I wouldn’t have known any better anyway. So instead of questioning him, I simply chopped.

“Sorry for…you know, the state of this place,” said Seokjin with a sigh as he swirled oil and rice around in the pan.

I raised my brows. “Hm?”

“I know it’s small,” he said, chuckling. “And messy. And outdated. And kinda empty.”

I shook my head. “Not at all,” I said, meeting his eyes gently with a smile. “I think it’s fine.”

He smiled and laughed lightly. “Thanks for saying that, but I know it’s not much,” he said, once more sighing. “I moved out of the house when I was seventeen and this was the only place that would take a kid that young with no job, so I just haven’t left.”

“You left home?” I asked, eyeing him.

He nodded, adding in the kimchi and peppers. “Yeah,” he said, smiling at the food. “I guess that’s surprising, huh?”

“Yeah…”

“Well, my home life wasn’t so healthy. I had to leave otherwise I’d have ended up in a bad situation,” he said, waving one hand and wielding a spatula with the other. “Anyway, I’m making okay money now, but moving sounds like a chore. Besides, the more I save the more fun things I can buy.”

I smiled. “Like your gaming setup?”

He grinned brightly at me with a nod. “Yeah, exactly,” he said, chuckling. “I don’t wanna be house poor or car poor or anything like that. I’d rather live someplace shitty but do what I like.”

“Hm…,” I said. “I’ve never really thought of it that way.”

“Do you think less of me?” he asked, but the conscious look my way made it clear he was only joking halfway.

I shook my head. “Not at all,” I said, sliding the broccoli toward him. “I’ve just been learning a lot lately. About…the different ways people live their lives. I guess…it kinda makes me feel better knowing there’s no one way to live. That there are billions,” I said, then shrugged. “I guess it’s comforting to think there’s no metric, you know? No way to conclusively measure a person.”

He was quiet for a long moment before laughing a booming laugh. I jumped, turning to face him with wide eyes. “That’s the most you’ve ever spoken to me,” he said, still laughing.

I blushed. “Sorry,” I mumbled.

He laughed again and smacked my arm. “I’m not saying it’s bad,” he said, still smiling. “It’s…cool, I guess. To hear that that’s what you think. I didn’t know you thought about those things.”

“Doesn’t everybody think of those things?” I asked.

He eyed me. “Hey, how old are you?”

I stiffened. “Twenty-two,” I said.

He smirked, crossing his arms. “I’m older than you, kiddo. You’d better start speaking to me more respectfully.”

I raised my brows. “How old are you then?”

“Older than you.”

I gaped. “I told you my age!”

“And since I’m older I reserve the right to not respond,” he said, laughing once I scoffed in disbelief.

“That’s not fair at all!” I shouted, wagging a finger at him. “We live in a democratic society where a person’s value isn’t related directly to their age!”

He laughed again. “This is Korea!”

“So?!”

He continued laughing for a long moment before settling down with a simple smile. “That’s the first time I’ve heard you yell,” he said.

I blinked at him, swallowing hard. “Well…you provoked me,” I said, sheepish as I crossed my arms.

He chuckled. “Say…I don’t have, you know, all that many…friends,” he said.

I raised my brows. “Huh?” Why was he telling me this?

He hummed a little, tending to the food with his back to me. But I suspected he was a bit nervous. “I feel like we get along well, that’s all,” he said with a shrug. “So…if you wanna hang out some more sometime, just…call or something, okay?”

I stiffened. Isn’t this the part where I get nervous? Where my heart skips? Where my stomach flips? Why, then, was I simply standing dumb on the linoleum floor, watching Seokjin’s broad back as he worked over the food, feeling nothing but platonic fondness?

I swallowed hard, touched my lip, and nodded once. “I…I’ll do that then.”

“You what?!”

I winced, still sensitive as my hangover began to dissipate, and eyed Gaeul from across the living room where she slaved over the peak of a mountain on her mural. She stared at me over her shoulder with her mouth agape, eyes like saucers.

“I slept over,” I said, shrugging as I peeled garlic cloves, setting them aside in a bowl as Gaeul had instructed.

“So that’s why you never came home for movie night?” she asked through disbelieving laughter.

I sighed. “It wasn’t like that,” I groaned, rubbing my head against the bright work lights Gaeul had set up in front of her mural.

She scoffed. “How do you know?” she asked, smirking as she returned to adding scraped of white down the side of the mountain.

“Because…I didn’t really feel anything special,” I said, nodding.

She stopped for a second before regaining her blasé rhythm and hummed. “Weird.”

“Yeah…,” I said, chewing on my bottom lip. It felt weird today too, just like before. Like I’d been stung by something, or like static. “Anyway, I think we’re friends.”

She chuckled. “Only you would go to a man’s house for the night and leave as friends,” she said, shaking her head.

“Well…,” I mumbled, still peeling the soaked garlic.

“I guess you lost feelings then,” she said absently. “Wonder why.”

I shook my head. “Dunno.”

She smirked, eyeing me. “Maybe you like someone new now,” she remarked before returning to her art.

And something about the phrase hit me weird, like a shove to the chest. I sat there, puzzled, for a long moment. Garlic clove in one hand and knife in the other, sitting criss-crossed in front of the coffee table, slack-jawed.

Even though that was impossible, even though I definitely didn’t have those feelings for anyone else…

Still I couldn’t help but sit there and ponder it.

Because, as I thought about it more, the sensation on my lips…felt vaguely like being kissed…

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