#this might not be as articulate or extense as i'd like

[weirdmageddon]

why i think aradia and john work so well

(with some stuff i’ve been wanting to yap about for ages)

have you guys ever given arajohn / johnradia (idk if its popular enough to even have a standardized ship name) any thought …? i know it seems kind of out of left field. i’ve considered it and i think its. really really good. i have a bunch of thoughts to unpack. come join me. and maybe grab a snack or something because i didn’t realize how much i'd actually have to say about this

(fantastic art by skeletood)

the other day i made a tweet that did rather well where i said, “john and aradia shouldve talked more. its so simple but i like how she actually earnestly answers his questions. so many characters in this comic are so mean to john for just wanting to know more give him a break”

putting it out there now im not big about shipping for the sake of shipping. there needs to be real chemistry. i need to sense that as a reason why two characters would potentially be a good influence on each other. i never knew why i was always so obstinate about this because it’s fictional and not materially hurting anyone, but i think it might be because i’m not sure how to justify it or explain it if not.

i strongly believe john and aradia would have had it made out for them if circumstances allowed it. (what i mean by “ship” or “johnradia” extends to any kind of interpersonal dynamic, even if just a good friendship. it doesnt even have to be romantic, just some sort of dynamic with them.)

unfortunately aradia originally committed herself to staying out of trolling the kids over their timelines, so john and aradia never talked until year 3 on the ship in the dream bubbles but they never had a truly proper one-on-one without outside meddling. i think if john knew aradia better and her story beforehand, she had more time to explain herself and her history, he wouldnt have been unsettled. and also of course if his experience with the trolls didn’t suck so bad because he already had expectations for how antagonizing most of them were.

i found people’s sentiments about johnradia elsewhere too. i remembered that they were both on the song art for ascend, and searched ao3 to see how many fics have been written to gauge how substaintial it’s been in the homestuck fandom. only 17 of them turned up. but the people who do talk about it are either curious about it or really do like it, and that interested me.

clearly it’s pretty niche character relationship to be depicted in any fanwork and i can understand why. despite being so small, from what ive seen it seems universally agreed upon to be nice. i haven’t seen a single person object to it. what ive seen falls into two categories: “wow i didnt think about this before but i actually dig it” or “(starving) finally some good fucking food”

the pattern im seeing is that people think it’s “random”, but i disagree. there is something there substantiating it even if they’re unable to articulate it.

the fanfic these comments are from is chronology of wind. that fic is really, really good, and sadly unfinished. i have more abstract reasons to believe why aradia and john would be good in theory, so actually seeing someone else actually make something with them helped me read it in action, to get a more tangible feel of the dynamic beyond what we have in canon.

i wouldn’t normally make claims about a relationship with regard to homestuck canon by looking at their relationship in a fanfic, because i think you all know by now i am very nitpicky about accurate characterization, and it does not go unnoticed by me when people get it right because for some reason it feels like a one in a million thing (even though it really shouldn’t be?). so this was a special case. the tone was completely consistent with canon. this fic is so in-character i’d basically consider it an extension of canon. to me it’s like they took the same characters and plopped them into this scenario to see how they’d interact. guys… i love that stuff so much. i love fanfiction or fanworks that depict realistic extensions of canon and stays true to the energy and tone of the source, but deepens it. there isn’t enough of it imo. i want to see more of it.

anyway, what i read of their conversations in that fic basically aligned with what i was thinking in my head about what i’d expect it to be like. i was able to compare how aradia and john talked to how aradia and the other characters interacted, their comparative attitudes towards each other—how they’re treated by others compared to how they treat each other.

have you noticed john and aradia’s communication values are both based on sincerity, being in the proper know, treating people fairly, and thanklessly taking on the necessary work that “must be done” in order to have what they really want — a good time that feels meaningful? and they accomplish this without any adjustment in how they talk to each other.

john is always subtly (or not-so-subtly) asking the people around him to answer him soberly and to the point so he knows whats going on and what that means for what his options are. he needs to know to what end he will be applying his absurd energetic drive into making shit happen. aradia honors his time before john can even become uncomfortable with the amount of time being eaten up by conversation. contrast this with rose, who seems to go on for a while with prose-like conversational adornments. in dire situations that need rapid explanation and definitive answers so he knows what to do, this is really the last thing he needs. aradia doesnt waste john’s time. she answers all his questions, and does it politely to boot. his time talking to her doesn't feel wasted.

john's impatience with this sort of nonsense is also why i can’t see something like dirkjohn working out, for example. to me it feels like @entropicbias also deeply understands this on some level because i literally couldn’t have demonstrated what i mean by it any better myself than that. i'm gonna have to to hit him up about how much i genuinely respect that like tbh hes one of the few i absolutely trust to handle writing and depicting these characters in situations and their interpersonal dynamics. and also care about doing their characterization justice as much as me.

of course people are still entitled to like whatever they like, ship whatever they want to. i dont care. but i just don’t think it would work from the perspective of the minds of the canon characters, how they generally think and approach situations. and i can already tell people might ask me how do i know this? what makes me an expert? i’m not more than anyone else is (although i have been called a "characterization expert" from my friends), but i do know that i can pick up on the energetic chemistry between people, including characters, honestly precognitively, without even thinking? like if it’s stiff or tense or awkward, if people aren’t free to express themselves uninhibitedly, if they feel unsafe or uncomfortable. i can sense this almost instantly. it’s something that’s a visceral feeling in my body i cant express and i have to rationalize it after the fact. like i’m doing now in fact writing this big analysis.

> listen to me talk about my special interest boy

for the next section to make sense, you probably want to read this post. i initially started writing it within this post to explain but there was so much brewing i had to explain the context that it turned into something i wanted to post on its own terms.

> okaaaaaayyyyy i read all that

thank you, really. my main point is using the conceptual tools provided by this system to expIain why aradia and john feel nice together and why i’ve seen people positively perceive the idea of a relationship between them even if it seems “random”.

framing them in this system, it wouldn’t be random! there’s a good reason they seem to fit nicely. this is because john and aradia have complementary forms of information metabolism. information metabolism is talked about in this section.

Jung’s psychic types are the types of cognition, or intelligence. But it would probably be easiest to call them types of IM [information metabolism], since the main difference between the types of people lies in their exchange of information with the external world.

Aushra Augusta, Commentary on Jung’s Typology and Introduction to Information Metabolism

aradia megido’s type of information metabolism (otherwise known as a TIM) is LII. john egbert’s TIM is ESE.

aradia and john’s types are duals. you can read more about what that entails here. in theory, their interactions would reflect the duality dynamic. reading chronology of wind, that one really in-character fic that explored their dynamic made me excited because they do!

michael pierce gave an overview of his impression of the characteristics of this intertype dynamic. despite only rough knowledge in socionics while he wrote this, his understanding of duality was spot on to me from my experience and others and i wanted to share it here. (fittingly, i believe he is also LII.)

Now we have the famous duality relationship: in a nutshell, this role is characterized by two traits: 1) a very close psychological distance or intimacy, and 2) a great ease of interacting with each other. It is sometimes described how meeting one's dual can be the event of a lifetime, because it inspires aspects in each party's character that they had never expressed before: the pair may even drop out of society for a time in order to focus on just each other, and to explore themselves through interaction with each other. The curious thing in this relationship is that these parties are rather different in outlook, and when they are not actually interacting as potential friends it's probably more likely for them to dislike or mistrust each other because of how different they are. […] However, when they are able to interact normally, it is a strange and wonderful discovery to realize that the interaction is unexpectedly smooth and invigorating. It's hard for people to describe, but as I understand it: while both parties recognize their differences on the surface, these differences are created by a root structure that coincides perfectly with each other, so that the differences on the surface are entirely complementary and cause no friction at all.

it’s also meaningful to consider that the structure of my own psyche is LII as well. so i’ve got a bit of a bias towards aradia and john.. not in the sense that what i actually say about them is personally biased, but that the bias is moreso my personal attention to people and characters of these two types in particular to see how my own experiences are reflected in them. i really do feel of a reflection of my own thought and work process in aradia and in the more abstract sense she is like an extension of myself. when people say they like aradia as a character i get secondhand joy from that because shares certain specific traits with me. of course i am still my own person though.

these are some of the most apt profiles i've found for these types at a glance. again, think about these characters as you read these descriptions. [from here (ESE / LII)]

ESE (Ethical-sensory extrovert) - john

The trademark quality of this type is a focus on socializing and guiding social situations and interactions so that the people involved can have fun and enjoy themselves. ESEs are typically in the middle of what is happening socially and know about the latest events and what people think and feel about them. They are skilled at bringing people together in fun and interesting ways and making everyone feel actively involved. Their friends know them as people who love life and feel most at home in social situations surrounded by other fun people. In their pursuit of fun-oriented and stimulating social interactions, ESEs typically neglect to structure their own thought processes and views in a way that would help them know exactly what they think and why. They are receptive to others’ attempts to help them introduce more structure and logical consistency in their life and thinking processes. They gravitate most to people who open up to fun and emotional interaction easily, yet are also skilled at systematizing thoughts and views and explaining ideological matters.

LII (Logical-intuitive introvert) - aradia

The trademark quality of this type is a focus on logical, structured thought and generating true assertions and views. LIIs are typically strict thinkers who are concerned that everything fits together in a logical way. They are skilled at understanding, generating, and criticizing logical arguments and instilling their views in the people around them. Their friends know them as people with well-organized thoughts and opinions who know what they think and can elucidate their ideas to others. In their pursuit of logical understanding, LIIs typically neglect their external social interactions and activities that would help them lighten up and experience a connection with other people. They are receptive to others’ attempts to create these fun and lighthearted situations for them. They gravitate most to people who are interested in their opinions and understanding of things, but are also skilled at organizing social interactions and creating a sense of emotional unity.

ive recently consciously experienced the feeling of duality for the first time since i've been communicating with my mom's high school classmate, and it is definitely a real thing. i even remember mom pointing out she noticed when we were all talking on the phone over a year ago that i perked up whenever he said stuff. here is how i explained it:

its bonkers how only once i experience something for myself i’m able to explain in detail what makes it so great based on what my impressions about it were because i tend to have a peculiar way of describing the qualities of an experience. my specialty is deep precision in my analogies for what it’s like. so now i can tell you how conversations with your dual feel… heres the status report. it’s weightless. its so strange. like the topic conversation stretches into infinity that you can pick right back up at any time. it’s hazy and unfocused but still pleasant (unless you’re particularly self-conscious and need to unlearn hiding your true self). but the best parts of it come when you have a specific issue or insecurity that comes with being your most natural self that the world seems to misunderstand about you, or just not give you what you don't even know you’ve been looking for. i think you might mutually intimidate each other at first because you're lowkey both expecting to be made fun of for your inadequacy with certain types of information that the other is nuanced with (and you’re not), but it never comes. you don't feel like what your dual wants in life is wrong. your dual seems so talented in all the ways you hope to shine but you’re always unsure of. for the introvert (me) wishing they felt their own active presence as an object (Se, Ne, Te, Fe) like the extravert does. for the extravert, wishing they felt their own relationships with other objects (Si, Ni, Ti, Fi) like the introvert does. any other intertype relationship (ITR) vs. duality is like the difference between 99% and 100% totality of a solar eclipse, except it’s the level of understanding with another person, like the eclipsing of your own information metabolism with theirs. of course there are other things that influence how well your relationship with this person goes, but i am talking strictly about when it comes to basic communication, the level of understanding you share. sometimes it might feel like you dont have much to talk about or the topic is unfocused, because you two ARE opposites in many ways after all, especially at a glance (domain of interests usually come with specific macroelements. theories about thought structures—like socionics, for instance—are in the domain of intuition, while physical interests and experiences are in the domain of sensorics.) i’m LII in the NT club (researchers) and my dual ESE in the SF club (social-communicative). so they’re constantly providing you with information from their own niche in life that you may be entirely unfamiliar with, but for some reason still interests and relaxes you to hear. you might not feel like you have a lot to say about the topic since but you are fully amazed by this person’s activity. it also makes you feel more sure of yourself and more confident that people truly appreciate and need your natural abilities.

> let’s break it down

here’s some lightly modified descriptions of the information blocks in LII and ESE's information metabolism models from pyatnitsky so you can get an overarching impression of how their type contributes to the informational sphere. i added some of my own adjustments and borrowed some sentences from stratiyevskaya's descriptions. additionally, you can click on the name of the block for an explanation of the role it plays.

i put about a week’s work into these collages but my goal with them was to actually show where i think these information blocks are most pertinent in these characters specifically and where they apply so it’s not just some abstract thing, just as supplementary examples as needed. (for the meaning of these information elements individually you can refer to cysia’s document.)

LII (Logical-intuitive introvert)

EGO (-Ti? -> -Ne!). Analytical thinking. They are well aware of the interrelationships of some objects or phenomena with others, and what laws are in effect or not in effect. On the basis of a comprehensive analysis, they put forward insights about the global essence of specific objects and phenomena, their possibilities. They acutely charge the situation with potential energy. For every situation, there is an archetype.

Super-EGO (-Fi? -> -Se!). Normative ideas about relationships between people and ways to get out of unpleasant ethical situations. Understands ethics as founded on the principles of fairness; to do to one side of the equation that you do to the other. Volitional manifestations in order to protect their living space are carried out only on the basis of personal experience. Because of the limited opportunities to fight back, they react painfully to attempts of any interference in his life. Does not respond to any arbitrary crudeness or volitional pressuring. Does not compromise goals, stubbornly clings to them. Avoids direct confrontation if possible, would rather talk civilly and earnestly. Uses their naturally strong sense of the conditioning of objects over time to avoid collisions with their material interests. Due to this, they may appear as someone with very little weaknesses.

Super-ID (+Fe -> +Si?) Attracts information about a good mood, a specific positive state, or a feeling. They would like to think that they can eliminate serious inconveniences, make the environment around them more comfortable. This skill needs to be evaluated. They are unconsciously activated when there is a need to make the environment more comfortable, which should lead to a better state, raise the mood at least in the immediate environment. In friendly, comfortable, and informal company, their cool exterior thaws and they start lighting up with joviality.

ID (+Te! → +Ni?). Has developed guidelines and methods that relate to specific practical activities, technological effectiveness, and resource use. Spontaneously feels the correct allocation of resources over time, which allows them to effectively solve tasks at an unhurried pace. This pace is deeply rational in nature.

ESE (Ethical-sensory extrovert)

EGO (+Fe! -> +Si?). Perception of the world is fundamentally emotional. Feels the emotional atmosphere well in any situation, knows the relevance of the way of expression, the place and weight (importance) of the internal state in each situation. Flexible approach to solving problems of managing and expressing emotions. They show bright emotionality both negative and positive. Creatively produces around themself comfort, coziness, conveniently arranges space, surrounds others with beautiful things, changing thereby the general condition and mood. Usually opinionated about their tastes.

(wow i really went all out on that this one that tumblr wont even display it in full resolution, so here. john just has so many more lines to choose from, sorry!)

Super-EGO (+Te! -> +Ni?). Practical and technological thinking is tightly based on acquired knowledge and patterns of solving similar problems. Methods of business activity in both general and specific areas are selected based on the opinion of reputable sources, or adjusted to one of the mastered templates. Predicting specific changes in the sphere of their interests is carried out only on the basis of personal experience. He is not able to compare his own method of forecasting with others, so he is sensitive to criticism of poor timing or deadlines, does not like situations that feel like a waste of his time; he is lost in connection with negative events. Guided by purely personal experience, he chooses specific times and deadlines for various tasks with a normative understanding of business activity in general.

Super-ID (-Ti? -> -Ne!). Attracts information about the order, specific logical relationships in the field of activity or interests. Needs someone to suggest specific ways to make connections between phenomena, patterns, and rules. Tries to be reasonable himself, even though he knows that this is not characteristic of him. Sometimes he openly talks of his actions that were poorly reasoned through, as if inviting other people to laugh at his thoughtlessness. The ordering and systematization of thought opens up a new way of understanding of events that are happening around him, as well as new prospects, potential, and capabilities. He likes to think that he understands the essence of a situation and lights up with new ideas. This skill needs to be evaluated. It is unconsciously activated when it is necessary to create order, clear consistency and clarity on a particular issue, especially if their abilities are recognized.

ID (-Fi? -> -Se!). Involuntarily keeps track of communications in their social circle. Without hesitation, they use a variety of ways to establish and maintain relationships that have been developed in his personal practice. Good relationships are important for personal inner confidence in a situation. To prevent unfavorable relationships, they are inclined, often without even realizing it, to act with pressure, forcing a showdown, forcing the partner to change the relationship for the better. Frequently demonstrates his resoluteness, persistence, and purposefulness, as if proposing his behavior as a model for imitation. Usually tells in much detail what obstacles were created before him, and how he overcame them, what he was told in response, and what he replied with, and so on and in the like.

(full res)

you might be able to see already how they would complement each other's thought process nicely. here are some descriptions of what the communication between these types is like:

+Fe! : program function of ESE and dual-seeking function of LII

The ESE periodically tells emotionally charged "program" function stories, telling of how somebody has acted and what they have done. The main orientation of ESE's leading ethical program is: "No one should be offended." The LII carefully listens to these statements, and, demonstrating a full understanding of these issues, develops logical basis for them, e.g. in calm persuasive voice he explains how the ESE has acted justly and fairly. The effusion of turbulent emotions coming from the ESE is counterbalanced by their absorption by the LII, who breaks them down into fragments by asking clarifying questions of the ESE.

-Ti? : dual-seeking function of ESE and program function of LII

The ESE is tuned to accepting information when it's relayed in clear logical form. He issues requests for logical explanations delivered from a point of view of generalized rules underpinning specific life events, which he receives from the LII, who delivers clear unambiguous interpretations, places the dots over all "i's", and demonstrates good understanding of problems that are of concern to the ESE. Not receiving information of this kind, the ESE begins making demands of those around him to be "intelligent" and understand the reasons of his actions.

-Ne! : activating function of ESE and creative function of LII

The ESE feels uncomfortable if he doesn't extend his help to people who are in need of it. His subconscious orientation is: "care and guard the talented", be kind and attentive towards other people. The LII usually meets such criteria by proving in action his aptitude at uncovering hidden capabilities, winning trust, passing on the knowledge. The ESE creates supportive conditions for people who are capable but lacking in assertive "push-through" qualities, among whom the LII finds himself, and a special work regime that protects such individuals from overloads on sensing functions. Newly discovered possibilities inspire and promote the pragmatic and business-oriented activities of the ESE. He can support a new undertaking or initiative with an enormous amount of energy and enthusiasm, light up by new ideas. Only the LII is able to, even having a vague general notion about the subject, construct a developed theory or idea of any issue. This theory shows to be promising in the process of its concrete application within its field.

+Si? : creative function of ESE and activating function of LII

LII tries to take care of their well-being, but may gravitate towards demonstrative asceticism, exhaust himself with work, studies, or exercise. The ESE periodically takes care of creating an environment that "charges" the LII with pleasant sensations: a reception of guests, a good meal, a visit to a theater or a concert, an interesting trip, and so on. At the same time the ESE takes pleasure in this himself.

+Te! : role function of ESE and observing function of LII

The role function of the ESE manifests as business-oriented activity and initiative, supplying interesting information, provision with material assistance to those who are in need, general restlessness and fussy busyness. This function is normative, i.e. the ESE seeks to comply with the norms and accepted ways of doing things. The nuancing of the understanding of these norms, i.e. introduction of activities that go beyond them, is possible only by considering LII's advice and recommendations. The LII serves as a director of this function, adjusting its workings by advocating the necessity of practical application of some beneficial ideas, rejection of useless though spectacular ideas, and the need to ensure standards of life not below average by rejection of equalization.

+Ni? : vulnerable function of ESE and demonstrative function of LII

The ESE poorly feels the flow of time, both physical, which manifests as running late and poor distribution of his strengths over time, and historical, which manifests as poor ability to anticipate consequences of actions and tendency for traditional ways of solving problems. The ESE finds it difficult to make radical choices. The LII fully takes this aspect onto his shoulders. He has an unconscious ability to distribute activities in time, thereby avoiding work stress and overloads, and is capable of making a radical choice. The LII is able to calmly wait and in the necessary moment get to work when the wasteful fussiness of the ESE reaches its critical point.

-Fi? : ignoring function of ESE and role function of LII

On this function the ESE gives advice and makes demands concerning the creation of appropriate psychological distances in form of proper behavior, courtesy and politeness, denouncing rudeness and boorishness. In this manner, the ESE adjusts LII's role function, which in itself contains a set of large psychological distances: a sullen stubborn look, unsociability, etc. With such fine-tuning it becomes easier for the LII to come into contact with people, whereby he becomes more animated, resolves many of his ethical problems that previously frightened him, gains greater insight into human relationships and a more accurate understanding as to whose side to take in situations of conflict.

-Se! : demonstrative function of ESE and vulnerable function of LII

The LII finds it very difficult to exert pressure on other people from his own will and initiative, especially in cases when he needs to attain something for himself. He finds this difficult to do - to press ahead in certain situations, to gather all the required paperwork, to stand in lines and queues, to petition for his own interests, even the ones that are of vital importance to him. He finds it difficult to push a person away, to sharply refuse someone, to quarrel loudly and defend his rights, to put an end to relations that have exhausted themselves. The ESE doesn't directly affect this function, i.e. he doesn't verbally criticize and teach the LII on this aspect, but takes over its functioning completely. The ESE exerts a constant, sometimes intrusive and imposing pressure on other people if there is a need to achieve something, to defend justice and demand fair treatment, to protect interests of those who are close and dear to him. The ESE goes to the right jurisdictions, inspires people around him and directs them towards work and purposeful activity, keeps up a high pace of life himself, and breaks off relations with those who don't deserve trust.

and some miscellaneous excerpts from literature i liked a lot. (i can't remember the sources i used since i've been working on this on and off, for the past week and i was just spilling things onto the post. i think stratiyevskaya?):

Mood - that’s what matters in this dyad - emotions and feelings. Anything that suppresses and overshadows good mood is considered unethical in this dyad and is strongly condemned.

The ESE does not allow the LII to limit him in the possibilities of consuming the amount of pleasures and joys, which he considers to be necessary and sufficient. Fortunately, both partners in the dyad - LII and ESE - are obstinate and unyielding. Both are demanding, unwilling (and not allowing anyone else) to lower the bar of their requirements, unable to give in and make concessions (especially in anything that is of principle for themselves). Both know how to make their partner reckon with their interests and insist on the fulfillment of their demands.

LII is impressed by the emotional generosity of ESE and his spiritual responsiveness. All this finds the deepest understanding in LII, since he is tuned to the same priorities and values. For his part, ESE admires the ability of LII to speak clearly and definitely on every issue. ESE is struck by the harmony of the reasoning of LII, the amazing clarity, accuracy and laconicism of his statements. To ESE it seems that for LII, there is nothing incomprehensible in this world; he can give a comprehensive explanation on every issue. And everything that ESE thought about before is gradually being built into a definite and clear system of views, which he can now very freely and naturally present. Confusion and chaos in his worldview gradually gives way to a stable logical order, as if someone patient and careful was sorting all his thoughts into shelves. Such clarity inspires and activates ESE; he begins to see some prospects for himself, new opportunities. His energy and activity, in addition to emotional and ethical expression, also receives sensory realization: ESE begins to take care of LII and carefully looks after him. If LII is a colleague with whom ESE is especially pleasant to communicate with, he begins to treat him with something tasty, homemade; will make some small, but beautiful and necessary gift (for example: new cologne or a warm scarf).

> okay that's great and all but when are we talking about john and aradia specifically?

yes, that was the point of this post. i just had to build all that up first so i could walk you through my thoughts in a fully substantiated way.

considering chronology of wind again, john doesnt realize it but he needs aradias frankness and insight. even if she’s unable to explicate on vague things, she states the reason why instead of making him feel stupid (it would create a doomed timeline) but thats all john needs to hear. she is self-effacing and only tells him the truth, and we know other people can take advantage of john’s suggestibility in this way. aradia tells john who is or isnt trustworthy, what actions would be useful/necessary and which ones wont, without any selfish personal motive a la vriska or terezi.

^ (juuuust the record my nitpicky ass doesn’t agree with the truth of the classpect interpretation on behalf of the author in the last bit BUT that is beside the point here. the point is that she is answering john’s question in a way that is meaningful for him)

aradia doesnt realize it but she needs john’s friendy goofiness to brighten her up because she is surrounded by people who antagonize her when she’s literally not even trying to get under anyones skin. everybody gets frustrated at her “spooky nonsense” because theyre afraid of their own mortality, basically telling her to put a lid on it because thinking about hard truths makes THEM personally uncomfortable. but to her it’s always just been a fact of life. plugging your ears to reality is ignorance, but at the same time that doesn’t mean there’s no meaning in anything. she wants to help people see this and she dedicates herself to becoming a psychopomp for the deceased and earnestly trying to make people feel emotionally and physically comfortable in their situation through exploring their memories.

john isn’t hostile towards her. by being herself she is immediately able to earn john’s trust when they initially talk. this is also true in canon; the one time they talked when john initially comes up to her, saying “can i ask you something? seem reasonable, and pretty nice.” unfortunately he asked her the one question she didn’t have much to say about, and i can’t blame him for expecting all the troll girls to be basically insane at that point. but i don’t think aradia is insane. yes she is odd, but i think it’s evident that she has a good head on her shoulders with knowledge of the way the universe around her works, and in the end wants to simply bask in watching it play out. i think she deserves to get childishly excited about it, especially considering she was dead for most of her developmental years.

aside from getting his answers answered, john shows curiosity about her and her species and even care about her well-being and state. this naturally comes from their conversation’s ebb and flow. aradia tells this straightforwardly, without bells and whistles and without trying to trick him, unlike the other trolls who seem keen on well..trolling him.. and providing him with unclear answers to those sorts things. maybe aside from vriska, but she did have a little bit of an attitude about it wherein her and john’s dynamic felt uneven or off-rhythm, with a large psychological distance. it’s a different feeling with aradia, however. they exchange information on the same rhythm and so are able to achieve a closer psychological distance in communication.

there are no judgments coming from aradia about john being “stupid”. she doesn’t underestimate him. it’s not just that john wants to understand (although he does), but he needs to understand what he is doing. aradia compliments john about the traits he possesses that allow him to be effective. i guess in a way i’m doing the same thing with john right now.

john is so mobile and strung along by being the action hero going from place to place as a can-do deliveryboy that he never has time to reflect on his losses, think through them, and accept them.

literally who else is more qualified in all of homestuck than aradia for talking to john about these things?

on top of all of this, they have objectively significant connections beyond just mutual self-realization in a way i think could've been fleshed out. there is potential here.

for a story, i can think of a way that a conversation between them could plausibly happen using the systems established in homestuck's mythology. in canon, we see that john never met aradia until year 3 on the golden battleship in the dream bubbles when he goes to sleep.

but john still dreamt out in the furthest ring. that means during those 3 years it was possible for john to have had a dream with her in it, or at least aradiabot. i know john didn't know aradia's name beforehand but let's just explore the possibility that they could have had met before that. remember that all these aradiabots were once this person.

aradia had obtained john's crosbytop, his dads hat, and his wallet quite a while before their sgrub session. theres your entry

imagine john seeing that

memories of dear old dad get stirred up through the link of seeing those items

the dream bubble transforms

john is forced to stand in his memories and explore grief and the meaning of life with aradia

physically being in the space around him would definitely help john reflect easier i think because it will force him to actually exist within the space and talk to someone, taking some time out for this. he wanted to know if anything could've been done or if he was just too late to save them. i know aradia would be able help him slow down and introspect. don't forget the opportunities created by the properties of these spaces that are glubbed out in the furthest ring by the horrorterrors that meld the labyrinthine time and space of their surroundings to the memories of the people and finding others through common points in memory. i would imagine that objects known by multiple people would provide a common point in memory to bring them together.

The bubbles allow the players of Sburb/Sgrub who have lost a life to continue dreaming. The reality constructed in the bubbles is a combination of the memories of everyone inside the bubble accessible to any who has learned the bubble's nature. According to Aradia, it would be quite difficult to exit a bubble to get into a new one, however someone inside a bubble can travel to another one through common points in memory, taking their own memories with them to be integrated into the new bubble. These memories mix and combine, but in general, no new memories are created. Additionally, the bubbles store the consciousness of a player who has lost their dream selves and their original selves, making them double as a form of afterlife; the player is then capable of accessing the memory of anyone else who has gained access to the bubbles. Living players, who have lost or become their dream selves, appear in the dream bubbles when they are asleep. It is in this fashion that the bubbles can be used as meeting places between the dead and the living; even those from alternate universes and doomed timelines can be found in a bubble. Furthermore, in addition to memories, the bubbles can to some extent reflect the thoughts of a player. Beyond that, the bubbles can also behave similarly to Skaia's clouds, showing things that are in some way relevant to the player - such as when coin-flip Dave saw alpha Dave grieving over Bro's corpse - something he was not aware of before being shown it by a bubble.

physically reflect the thoughts of the player…… rubs hands

john and aradia share points in memory related to those objects, and to top it all of they are directly related to john's dad on the same day he died, while aradia grew up with them as bizarre alien artifacts from an archeological dig. the memories are more emotionally charged for john, and i think that distinction would probably be relevant to them both.

to be honest i think after speaking with him for a bit she would readily tell john that she regrets not talking to the kids from the universe her team created sooner before she died, but is glad that she can in the afterlife. in canon, alpha aradia told a doomed dave, "i think its absurd i never introduced myself to you in all that time i spent moping around the lab. guess i wasnt in a very good mood".

now not all the aradiabots would know who john is, because the trolls only found out about the humans once they created the genesis frog and hid out in the lab in the veil from jack who infiltrated their session. the aradiabot in the lab was the last one that survived. so if any one of them would know who john is, it would be the aradiabot that exploded. aradia's dream self ascended to god tier in jack noir's rampage on trolls' derse and took those memories with her which we can assume is what made the last aradiabot explode. its known that any original copy that dies when another rises up becomes a ghost and lives on in the dream bubbles, which would include her. a doomed aradiabot we see in the comic, which was the one that originally landed to alternia in the past, becomes more lighthearted after she dies, a bit more like her alive counterpart.

oh yeah, and the more obvious surface-level connections to top it off? ghostbusters? john ain't afraid of no ghost girl. john would be genuinely interested in what aradia living as a ghost irl on her planet and not as a gaming abstraction in the furthest ring would be like. i imagine she would be able to explain the subjective experience and that she had to prototype herself into the kernelsprite order for her server player to see her. there's also no way john hasn't seen a movie as classic as indiana jones and judging from her poster i can imagine he probably thinks it's sweet that aradia's strife specibus whipkind is a reflection of her own personal tastes, interests and hobbies.

so yeah i've just been chewing on all of this and thinking about it but i know i needed to just get this out there somehow. obviously since i spent two weeks putting this post together i'd be happy to hear your thoughts

[synapsid-taxonomy]

On Smilodon mouth tissue

Keep in mind through this entire post that this is pretty rough and I don't specifically study sabercats. But we might as well take a closer look at the controversial Smilodon lip and gum tissue and see what it'd look like step-by-step. Let's start with a Smilodon skull (real fossil, not cast) with articulated sabers. Keep in mind the tip of this saber is broken off.

You can pretty clearly see the division between the enamel-covered portion of the teeth and the cementum. In modern felids, this cementoenamel junction is roughly where the gum line ends, and this is also what Riviere and Wheeler 2005 concluded for Smilodon. So if we take that and apply a gumline to this skull, it looks like this:

Now that looks like a pretty deep gumline! The full canines of Smilodon don't necessarily need to be covered by lips; even though they are covered by enamel, it's a very thin coating that doesn't require extensive hydration. This is also the case with the fangs of musk deer and Chinese water deer, who have their canines hanging on the outside of the mouth. These fanged deer, as well as tusked synapsids like walruses and Tiarajudens, have canines that project far beyond the bottom of the lower jaw (see below for the alternative) - and none have the massive bloodhound lips you may see around for Smilodon.

The gums, however, would need to be hydrated and covered by the lips. So that pink line could be an indicator of the minimum extent of the lip margin. But what I notice about these gumline comparisons is that we're looking only at the skull. If you bring in Smilodon's mandible and articulate it so that the mouth is closed...

The gumline doesn't go below the margin of the lower jaw. So the upper lips would not need to droop beyond the margin of the lower jaw. And as discussed above, the rest of the canines wouldn't necessarily need to be covered. Goodbye bloodhound Smilodon. This is consistent with how the lips do not droop beyond the margin of the mandible in any "saber-toothed" animal. Fanged deer and walruses have exposed canines. Clouded leopards keep their impressively-sized canines in the mouth; while the lips are relatively big, they don't droop over the lower jaw...

And saber-toothed animals that aren't smilodontines - including other true sabercats like Homotherium - don't actually have teeth that project beyond the bottom of the lower jaw (accounting for tooth slippage). Most of them have a deepened "chin" that follows the sabers. So it's possible, if not likely, that these animals simply had sabers covered by the soft tissue of the lower jaw when the mouth was closed. That would keep the teeth and gums moist regardless of how far down the gums went. Even if the teeth were exposed, the upper lips still wouldn't need to go very far down to keep the gums moist (you can see where the cementoenamel joint is on the Eusmilus skull replica in the lower right).

(top: Homotherium; bottom left, Thylacosmilus)

Now let's take the rigorous reconstruction of Smilodon from Turner et al. 2011 - and overlay it over the image above, to see if "traditional" Smilodon lips would cover all of this expanded gumline or not.

That looks like a pretty close match, I'd say! Being generous (and looking at clouded leopards as a very rough guide), I can see the margin of the upper lip maybe going like this. Lippier than usually pictured, but not shockingly so.

So not much would change.

Now, why would Smilodon need such deep gums? Simple - the longer a tooth is, the easier it is to break off. So more extensive gum tissue would help stabilize the sabers in the mouth. Which makes sense. The current model for sabercat predation is that they would subdue prey using their beefy muscled forelimbs, and only use the sabers at the end for the killing neck-puncturing bite. Don't wanna break them beforehand.

[silvexus]

Re: Sometimes feeling species dysphoria as someone who doesn't ID as non-human - would you be willing to expand on that? It's okay if not - I don't want to pry - but I've never heard of someone having that experience before and think it might be valuable to the overall conversation.

That said the comparison to cis folks sometimes experiencing gender dysphoria makes intuitive sense to me, too.

Sure! I'll try my best to figure out how to articulate this in a way that makes sense and is also respectful (as someone who doesn't ID as non-human, I obviously do not want to appropriate experiences!) but I do fear it may not be as interesting as it sounds.

This got really long, so I'm putting in a read more, oops!

For clarification, I experience psychosis (since childhood) and have neurological disorders. I think the combination of these things is what causes what I'm about to try to describe, though I would certainly not try to say that the only thing that can cause species dysphoria is this sort of experience, nor would that would make someone's experience any less valid if they chose to ID as non-human if they were in a similar situation. Everyone is different, after all!

Primarily, this thing I equate to species dysphoria manifests as two different things that I tend to describe as non-human body language and non-organic yearning.

Non-human body language isn't as encompassing as I'd like it to be, but it's hard to articulate. My limbs don't feel right sometimes; disproportionate to each other, maybe. My spine feels wrong; too short, maybe? That could be the scoliosis causing both of these things, but it happens in my arms sometimes too. I don't know what it wants to be, however. There's ways my body wants to move to convey ideas to others than I can't emulate properly. My vocal mimicry is good, but not good enough, though I wouldn't really tell you what calls I'm supposed to make. I do trill a lot, when I can.

My teeth aren't quite sharp enough, I know that. And would a tail help? Would upright, pointy ears? A crest of feathers? I wouldn't mind a crest, I think, but then the moment passes and what I have is... acceptable. Fine. I am here, in this place, and my nerves are made of fire.

In a more permanent fashion, I bunt people to show my affection, but even when I physically can't it is a constant urge. (I nearly broke poor @/sattarehi asking if I could bunt him.) It's easier to move on all fours sometimes, or just in ways that are unintuitive to a human blueprint. To curl around people while we're sitting on the edge of a bed, them sitting up, me on my side to encircle them, in a way I don't see others doing often. The way I hold my arms sometimes feels like the resting position of something else; holding them at my sides like a person is expected to feels wrong, like it'll impede my ability to flee if I need to. (From what? Is that the paranoia? The hypervigilance? The nerves again? The various and sundry neurodivergencies?) When I'm socially allowed to cross my arms it helps, but it's not quite perfect.

Sometimes, the fact that I cannot do these things more effectively (though my brain does not grant me the knowledge of what that would look like), that I am considered eccentric and strange for doing them at all, pulls at something in me that doesn't speak in any language I have access to.

As an aside that may only slightly be relevant, my social integration is interesting. People who are friends or close associates or even people I think of fondly become extensions of us in a way that isn't so much possessive, but in the same way a tight knit family group might be among certain animals. (Which is why when people ask 'do you experience romantic love?' I can't honestly say. This is already quite intense, you want me to try and define it further?) And that's to say nothing of the prey drive. The human prey drive is intense enough, and I can certainly repress it well (I can't believe PvP games were good for something) but mine feels a little overtuned.

... So the non-organic yearning is fun to try and figure out, but it provokes the same feelings, so I'll try to articulate it just in case it helps!

It feels like I am made of something deeper. Something farther. Here, there, everywhere. I feel like I am floating adrift in a dark sea, unable to drown or sink, though surely I must. Surely I must. And yet.

It isn't an invincibility. It isn't a belief in a higher power or an afterlife. For the sake of my health, I cannot believe in these things. (We shan't talk about my childhood delusions, but they were quite elaborate! You could tell I was into world religions as study subject as a child.)

But sometimes I look into the sky and feel it staring back, like I am stuck in a Polaroid that an old friend keeps looking at to remember me. I look at pictures from all of our instruments that turn into the infinite dark beyond our planet and my brain thinks I want to go home the same way I do when I see my hometown on a map. I am not from here, something in me insists. I am from nowhere, but I am certainly not from here. Is that the intergenerational trauma? The thing that infects you and fills in where your grandparents' language and food and culture is supposed to be? The remains of what a war before you were born left behind? Or is it something else?

It feels like something else, the same way sometimes my body feels wrong in the same, but different, way that it always feels wrong. It feels like whatever I am, separate from this meat suit and these mutinous neurotransmitters, is from somewhere else. That it knows this. That it wants to go back.

Not all of my body dysmorphia is neatly gender dysphoria. Species dysphoria, as a term, helps gather these experiences up neatly, even if I don't identify as non-human. I am human. I am a strange, eccentric human, even if I feel like Something Else Wearing A Human Skin, but ultimately human regardless. Despite that, almost. Maybe, in a strange, contradictory way, I'm both. Human is what I want to be, at the end of this day. But regardless, it does help me understand things a bit more than someone who doesn't have the same experiences, I think. And maybe this will change in the future as my understanding of myself grows! I'm a whole adult, but I'm growing every day, you know?

(You know that book, Casual Rex? And they made it into a show pilot/TV movie called Anonymous Rex? And it was about dinosaurs barely surviving their extinction and pretending to be human and they wore disguises to blend in? There's a scene where a character describes another character as "she's a human pretending to be a dinosaur pretending to be a human!" Life feels like that sometimes.)

[argumentalist]

I know I've mentioned my love for Iron-Blooded Orphans before... Unfortunately those kits are pretty hard to find these days, so I'm stuck building stuff I don't love. In this case - that's the Gundam Barbatos Lupus.

I don't love the Barbatos Lupus. My favorite is just the good old fourth form. I mean, I like the big sword mace... But, for the most part, Lupus just looks overdone to me. Too big and bulky.

This is where things started to go wrong with this build...

I don't love color-correcting stickers and I might normally opt for paint. But these stickers had little metallic details that I thought might actually look good. So I decided to try using them while leaving myself the option of going back to paint later... Which meant I wasn't going to do my usual gluing and tightening for an IBO kit.

Right off the bat, this torso section feels all kinds of loose and wobbly. I'd normally tighten it up some... But, again, I don't want to do anything permanent because I'm thinking I might want to disassemble the kit to paint it later.

As I've said before - one of the fun things about building models like this is getting to directly experience the physicality of the thing. In this case I'm building Barbatos Lupus starting with what I think is the exact same inner-frame that Barbatos used... But then there's these little extension pieces that go into the arms to make them longer.

And, again, the gigantic feet I keep seeing with these IBO kits.

And then things went really wrong...

I spilled my Tamiya Extra Thin. I didn't really do too much damage to anything, but I got a big thumbprint on the sword mace. So I had to sand that down.

This is about where I decided I was really going to have to paint this model eventually. The stickers just looked bad. Lots of edges and bends to fold and they just don't look great. Sure, from a bit of a distance they'll be fine... But I'm not happy with the results.

Not a lot of accessories in this kit - just the sword mace and a couple alternate holding hands.

A neat feature of this kit, as opposed to the standard Barbatos, is that the backpack actually has articulated arms. Not that I'm likely to really use those arms for much...

There it is - all built and posed. And I'm really not thrilled with this build. The kit is fine, all things considered, but it really needs a little extra effort. I really need to tighten the joints and replace those stickers with paint. As it is now, it's floppy as all hell and barely holds a pose. And the stickers look absolutely terrible up close.

[robinyourcreator]

so! gaem progress update!

finished up at the githyanki creche yesterday, with much save scumming and poking through guides, got the elminster bit, then wrapped up act 1 and sprinted to Isobel

so! did just enough to get Vlaakith and the inquisitor to betray us and most importantly Lae'zel, then gently prodded her along towards "hey your evil god queen sucks, actually."

Adana really WANTED to kill her dream visitor in the prism because she's EXTREMELY pissed it's still wearing Adran's face, and if it had ONLY risked herself to do so, she might have called its bluff and stabbed it. As is, the combination of "this could screw over my friends," that stabbing it would mean having to deliberately choose to stab her perfect dream of a boy, AND it pretending it wasn't going to fight back was enough to stay her hand. she still loathes the bastard and DEFINITELY doesn't trust it, but the risk is just Too High for her to call its bluff.

I think bards and wizards just have juvenile rivalries in general from both being arcanes who have to go to college, but Adana I think takes hers a littttttle farther than most do. Condescension is a BIG fat red button of hers, and unfortunately it is the habit of wizards to be the Worst in that way, so.

also had a funny realization the other day that Adana VERY easily could have been the bard equivalent of Gale if her upbringing had been a bit more supportive and/or religious, and a bit less of her being dehumanized into alternatively a Tool To Be Used or Extension of Her Mother without wants or a mind of her own. she WAS a prodigy as a teenager, and in that arena the Hubris and Ego were DEFINITELY in the right league to think she could fuck with gods-- once upon a time she WOULD have bet her soul on it, without hesitation. but nah.

as far as the devil's bargain Elminster brought, she found the man insufferable in general but tried to play polite host bc girl Does Not go around making powerful enemies if she can at all help it

and well. Adana has a mild death wish and a mile wide self-sacrificing streak. if she could Guarantee she would be the only casualty on their side, she'd suicide bomb the absolute in a heartbeat. Cannot articulate why it's okay for Her to feel that way and not Gale-- she doesn't even have forgiveness or a particular goddess's embrace to look forward to, she's largely Played the Field as far as pantheons go, except for the times she Explicitly pissed off Bhaal as a teenager (on purpose!) and Accidentally became a special favorite of Loviatar. (as a joke.) nothing to terribly pleasant to look forward to. Mostly mumbled mealy mouthed promises that they should keep their options open and that she'd support him no matter what, but it'd make our friends sad if you died, yeah?

she has done zero self reflection and she has learned Nothing, lmao.

very funny that as soon as you get into the Shadowlands you can pout at Shadowheart for not paying as much attention to you anymore :(((((, so I Did click those options just to get rid of them even though Adana would a) rather die or b) have been drugged, tied up, and edged for HOURS before she would even DREAM of being needy like that.

Raphael being at the inn was fun! Adana has grown enough confidence that her response to seeing him was Rage and not fear. Adana is the way that she is because she has Deliberately reforged herself into the sort of person she so desperately wanted to Save Her as a child, so Raphael w Mol and Marcus w Isobel both IMMEDIATELY hit berserk buttons for her. No, fuck you, GET OUT, get away from them, I'll kill you.

Karlach approves!

Isobel is VERY funny, I didn't expect her to come across as so bratty or showboaty at all from what I'd seen on my dash and in wiki diving, but I and Adana were both quite charmed by the funnee ladee, I like her quite a lot. I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised though, takes a fair amount of ego to Pull a demigod, lmao.

and now i have to go back and talk to everyone and everything at the inn before going to Isobel bc i just sprinted there and missed a Lot, whoops.

[glitterypin]

Hello glitterypin! Sorry for this random question. A short while ago I rewatched Doctor Who and got really into the 12th doctor (and Peter by extension). I remember liking his Doc but unable to really articulate the reason but rewatching those seasons years later pretty much blew my mind, and the depth of his performance is a large part of it. I've been going through his TV and filmography since. Anyway, I saw your post about the PCap fan tumblr community and was wondering if I could get an invite? Just got back into tumblr recently so this might be very, very late, but I thought I'd give it a shot!

Hello there!

Of course you can join! The community has now been made public and is open for everyone to join without an invite and it even shows up under the Peter Capaldi tag (and several others of my choice).

This is a good chance for me to plug our new weekly event, we're calling it PCap Recap and it basically means that every week we choose one thing to watch and then spend the weekend massively posting about it. This week we're watching Local Hero if you're interested!

Looking forward to seeing you around! ☺️😃

[victoriansecret]

I'm in my mid-30s and my ever-growing love for history has spurred me to consider a career change into the field. I'd love to work in a museum or archive in a research or curatorship role (rather than as an academic), and I live somewhere where I could take time out to get a masters degree.

From your experience - is a change like this feasible? Is there work available? Will a late (re)start be a hindrance to getting a foot in? Is a degree worth it, or should I aim to get volunteer experience instead? Or am I better off sticking with my current decent office job and treating historical research as a passion/free-time activity instead?

This is a great question, and I wanted to give you as good an answer as possible so I outsourced to a friend and former colleague who worked in collections. This is what she had to say: *follow the Emerging Museum Professional FB page. There is lots of advice there

*I don’t think it’s ever too late to follow your dreams. You’re in your mid-30s, not 99! (Although even then I’d say go for it!)

* I’d recommend volunteering at a place you would be interested in working in. It’ll give you a better sense whether or not this is actually a field you’d like to get into, or just a fun hobby. Both answers are totally ok

* I’m a fan of experience over degrees, but it really depends on where you would want to work. Many positions require a masters degree, but not all. If you are in a small town, or more rural area, it would be easier to talk your way into a position than if you are in a big city

* if you’ve loved history for a long time, try to articulate how skills you have in your hobby or through your office jobs relate to the museum field. I used to manage cafes and found that many of those skills transitioned into collections management (inventory, databasing, customer interactions, etc.)

Best of luck! ---

I will echo her point that it's definitely not too late and if it's something you're truly passionate about it's worth at least considering. Obviously it's not always that simple - giving up a stable, decent job is a risk etc., so while I'm generally not a fan of volunteer work, it might be worth trying it just to see if it's something you would like as much as you think. I will also agree with her point about experience over degrees. I've never been to college at all myself, which is a huge rarity in this field, and when I got my first museum job my only work experience was running a salad bar at a restaurant. But my supervisor told me, years after the fact, that part of why she gave me an interview was that in my cover letter I made an analogy comparing running a salad bar to being a historic interpreter: something about how being in the middle of the dining room meant the bar and by extension myself were always on display, and how that would mean I'd be more comfortable with thousands of guests seeing me in period clothing etc. Granted, interpreting is very much about talking and making analogies to help guests understand the past, so it's a bit different from the behind the scenes work in how those skills translate, and how demonstrating an ability to talk is directly related to the work itself, but still. I hope this is helpful, and I hope that if you do decide to pursue this it works out how you hope! Thanks for the question!

[smallerplaces]

Zoe, Varsity Captain

I found where I put her!

I keep my smaller dollhouses and all my fashion dolls in a pair of big white cabinets with doors. Turns out that I had shoved Zoe's box in sideways next to a dollhouse painted the same blue as the box edge, in a space where I thought only a miniature taco truck fit. So here she is!

Zoe is a find from Five Below a couple months ago. At the time, she came in this blonde version and in an Black version. The faces were the same, and I impulsively went for the doll who looked like I did as a child, though I was never that athletic. Her brand is Brooklyn Lollipop, which is a real brand with its own web site (as opposed to the kind of white label brand that exists only to slap a name on a box). Alas, Zoe is not currently on their site, only Sophie (an ordinary Barbie clone) and Sophie Sixteen (who is not a teenager, but an Evi Love clone with one Chelsea-sized girl).

For a minute or two, I was worried the locker didn't open. I actively want the locker as storage! However, some pushing and prying did the trick.

Here she is! Zoe is a skinny girl with a large head, and overall pretty cute.

At some point, I thought she might be the same size as Kid Kore Katie. Obviously, I was very wrong about that. Kid Kore Katie is about 8 inches tall (classic Skipper). Kid Kore Jodi is about 5 inches tall (slightly larger than classic Kelly). Zoe is in between. So while "varsity" implies high school sports, she would seem to be about seven years old.

I bought Zoe for her extensive articulation! She has knees, elbows, and wrists -- that's all unusual in her small size. She cannot touch her (flattish, very Sparkle Girlz) face, but she can post a lot. Oddly, she does not have molded underwear. I grew up in an era when dolls didn't, so I don't care.

Zoe's tiny clothes are pretty good. The sweater and jeans are constructed as a single piece, which gave me an idea. Can Zoe wear the Four Friends clothing from Dollar Tree that I use for Evi Love and other taller, sturdier toddlers?

She totally can! Even the shoes are a perfect fit.

In fact, the dresses that look wrong on Evi Love because they're too long for a toddler fit Zoe perfectly!

Zoe is definitely a different species from Arvin Lebec, my Mego Lion Rock war hero.

Then as I was fiddling with photos, I realized that (a) I'd probably bought her to fill the Chelsea "larger than a Kelly" niche and (b) that would make her a peer of Creata Today's Girl Hilary.

Or... not. No, I have somehow managed to acquire a uniquely sized doll with a large head, which is high on the list of "things I will not do," but darn, look at that articulation!

Here she is with a crowd of variously sized young girls, including Emma Dreams, the "looks like me as a kid" pick from the demise of 99 Cents Only.

[youremyonlyhope]

Changes in Season 2 and my Feelings

Ok I gotta just list this stuff out. I gotta get the emotions out. I'm sure I'm forgetting some changes but these are the ones that mattered most to me. These will be in categories of how each change made me feel: Unforgivable, Not happy about it but whatever, Indifferent/mixed/neutral, Okay with it, Hey that's a good change/makes sense, and Yes good thank you this is amazing.

Obviously spoilers below.

UNFORGIVABLE:

Nikolai didn't call Alina "lovely" at all not even once and that makes me so mad, I love that that's his nickname for her in the books.

Where was my little baby angel Misha? But also, if I had had to watch a little boy in the middle of all of that I'd have cried, his presence in the book was enough so maybe we're luck they cut him out.

Where was Oncat and by extension Hershaw and Stigg?

Genya's scars. Yes she heals them but the stage they're in when she first gets them is what they should have been after she heals herself. It should have initially been soo much worse.

Not letting us see the King get torn apart and humiliated. He got off way too easily. MAKE HIM SUFFER MORE.

Not happy about it but whatever:

David. This is only here because I will be in denial until I see the body. And if it is true, at least it's not as sad as the book because that actually ruined me. Otherwise it'd be in the unforgivable section.

The speedrun of the Rollins stuff. It was satisfying in the book (almost going too far) after everything they'd been through. I feel like we hadn't gotten enough to justify it at the point that it happened in the show, and now he's still sticking around and being annoying so where do we go from there?

Mal's reason for not being around Alina and not being told about the tether. In the book he's avoiding her because emotions and feelings. In the show he's literally kidnapped and physically not there. And we don't even see him while he's kidnapped? Nah. No.

I can't figure out how to articulate the feelings in my brain into words, but the whole lack of Sun Summoners at the end falls in this category. They might be planning to bring this in later in the show though.

Similar to the Sun Summoner point but cutting out the Darkling's anguish at truly being alone made me sad, I actually loved that moment in the book.

The ordinary lives full of ordinary things. Loved the direct quote. Did not love that it did not actually happen, but maybe it will later. I just love the book ending overall.

Indifferent/mixed/true North neutral:

Ummmm. The entire Shu Han plotline. I loved getting to go to Shu Han. I loved seeing Tolya and Zoya team up with the Crows. Flashbacks and hallucinations, all great. But WHY was this blade even a THING!? I thought it'd lead to like "oh, it's not a blade, that was just a past Sun Summoner using the Cut and she was an ancestor of Alina's" or something and have a point ultimately, but it was just... a special blade. I have so many questions. I now realize that this is the hint to the Lives of the Saints that Leigh mentioned. I have not gotten my hands on that book yet. I'm more ok with it now, but this doesn't feel like just a hint or shoutout since this took up way too much time and energy and plot.

The multiple Grisha who got amplified by Baghra's bone dust. I thought it was one amplifier creature per person, and that you couldn't make multiple amplifiers from one being to be used by multiple Grisha. I mean adding in all those random powerful Grisha raised the stakes, but I am so confused.

Wesper past one-night-stand. I don't think I like it. But I don't know honestly. It makes me wonder how Kuwei will factor in later on.

Baghra figuring it out for Mal. It definitely made things move along faster. But personally, I kind of loved the chunk of time when Alina was worried she'd accidentally committed incest with the Darkling.

Okay with it:

The absence of white hair. It's ok with me.

Jeordie past reveal to fellow Crows so early. This was leaning towards hate but after finishing the season it's fine I guess. There were bigger gripes.

No Sturmhond tailoring. I had a feeling they wouldn't do it so I wasn't disappointed.

Controversial choice: The weird hint of Tolya/Inej at the end of the show. I am not necessarily here for them as a ship, I personally like the idea that Tolya is ace or aro, BUT I don't mind adding it in for the drama. Especially since it would mean I get more Tolya. Update: I've made a whole post about them.

Hey that's a good change/makes sense:

Combining the Palace and Spinning Wheel events. At first I was a little confused because it all was happening so soon, but that's more because I went into this season thinking it'd just be Siege and Storm and not realizing they'd cover Ruin and Rising too. I get why they did it, and it was a little repetitive in the books.

Not doing the Ice Court and instead mixing in parts of Crooked Kingdom. Most of Six of Crows took place over like 3 days so it'd be hard to stretch it out to line up with Alina's story. It was smart to pick bits of CK instead to add to the new parts.

Bringing in Dominik rather than just having flashbacks later. That was great.

The Nikolai shadow monster. I was worried they'd leave it out completely, but they just changed the order of events. So it's ok. But I will miss the emotional devastation that reading the description of the transformation caused me.

Keeping the powers. I personally didn't mind her losing them in the book, but I know a lot of people have problems with it and if Alina's sticking around she'll need her powers. Also, we definitely did not see her use them again until that last shot right? So are they completely changing the shadow thing too? Basically, I think the power loss is going to come up later and they just changed the timeline of when.

YES GOOD THANK YOU THIS IS AMAZING:

Jesper and his mom. I simultaneously love the show for doing that and also I hate them for the emotional distress it has caused me.

The bee that landed on Zoya's shoulder. I see you. I am not ready. (I also thought this was the Lives of the Saints hint not the blade)

Cutting out 99% of the Apparat. I imagine they'll do all his stuff later on now, but I hate that man so much and I'm glad we didn't have to suffer through him yet.

Showing us more scenes in Novyi Zem. I LOVED the costume design of the Zemeni. It was great. It made me happy.

Leaning into the political marriage. YES. This is what I wanted from the books. I was worried the show wouldn't touch Nikolina at all but they are really leaning into it while leaving the Zoyalai door open. The "thinking about me instead of forgetting about him" line was used and I am so happy.

Separating Mal and Alina so they can figure out if they love each other for each other or if it was destiny. I think the show is going to end with Malina so I like that this will give more to their ship if the show gets another season and we get to see them come back together.

Alina being in the Triumvirate. I can't even let myself think about David, but I am happy these three girls get to be the Triumvirate.

The abundance of Tolya. Just. Tolya. In general. Because I love him. Love him in the books. Love him in the show. Love love love Tolya.

I think overall, I liked or at least tolerated and understood most of the changes. But the changes that I didn't like, I really did not like.

If they can just have Nikolai call Alina "lovely" even once in the next season, I'll forgive everything. Honestly that's the one thing I'm somehow angriest about. I just really was looking forward to hearing Nikolai say "lovely."

[aspiring-interpreter]

Long-term goals (again). June 2024

Since I want to be able to do a translation and interpreting course, and find some work in these fields, I think it's important for me to understand what I'll need to do to get there. This post will attempt to highlight the skills i will need, in an optimistic kind of way.

Listening

The ability to understand many varieties of Mandarin as spoken throughout different parts of China and Taiwan, at formal and informal registers, and with varying speeds and with contemporary words thrown in. I don't think I really need to work much on this apart from just finding opportunities to use Mandarin (i.e. people to speak Mandarin to).

Reading

The ability to read extensively and intensively in fiction, non-fiction (news articles) and everyday language use (blog posts, emails, online questions and Wikipedia for example). It might also help to understand more formal kinds of Mandarin, or even Literary Chinese at some point in the future. This is also a skill I personally want to cultivate for its ability to enrich my understanding of contemporary Chinese fiction. Currently I'm still working on building up a basic understanding of grammar and characters. I'd estimate my reading ability is roughly at HSK 3 level now.

Speaking

I always feel like I'm not quite able to articulate myself as well as I could with Mandarin. There are some basic words or expressions missing a lot of the time, and some sentence constructions come out unnaturally. I want to be able to speak like someone who's finished high school /in China/ by the time I sit an interpreting exam. This means being able to grade my language and speak in both informal and formal registers.

Writing

This is probably the hardest skill for me to learn, as there are many idiomatic ways to use Chinese, and I'm not really there yet at all. Constant exposure to exemplar writing and the ability to pick from a wide variety of known vocab would help here.

Current goals

I think my main goal is to assimilate enough vocabulary to speak a bit better and not have to rely on English so much. With this in mind, I want to finish 4 Chinese printouts I currently have that I /know/ are good quality. I'll make this my goal in July to finish all 5 (half of one takes about an hour, so in total this should be 10 hours of study).

I also want to prepare my vocab before I call my parents if there's any words I definitely don't know.

I'd like to have reached all of these goals by the time I finish up at university for linguistics (probably mid-2026).

[seth-burroughs]

Holy fuck a pinned post.. It's one of those pinned posts isn't it

What's up gamers I post Rain Code (literally just the peacekeepers) (it's a Yomi world no mercy). I don't tag spoilers so do with that what you will

Names include: Seth, Andrzej, Jaspis, Karneol, Sylwester, Stefan, Kosma, Feliks, Sójka, Mikołaj, Józef and Karol. I collect names like cool rocks, you can basically pick and choose on which ones you use to refer to me on any given day, I don't really care. He/it/xe exclusively (for Yomi), and yes, they/them IS misgendering can you not pleaseee *looking at you with my big wet eyes*. On a similiar note, I'll prefer to not be referred to with any feminine terms like ever, I don't care if it's a joke/slang/whatever. "girl" isn't gender neutral guys what the huh I am going to become the joker

Yomi Hellsmile fictionkin* in like, the serious/metaphysical way. (Can't believe Yomi got real and is now prowling around somewhere in the bowels of central Europe that's so cool right). That's also why I drop the I/me oftentimes whenever I talk about Yomi, in case you were confused about that.

I'm generally pretty hesistant to interact with people that also call themselves kin (and especially "kinnies"), as I'd rather not involve myself with the kff crowd or other people that treat being fictionkin as an extension of fandom, and unfortunately I can't always tell whether somebody is using it in good faith or not, but I don't like to assume things about people based off of very limited information like a few posts, either. Where was I going with this? Basically uh, having my eyes pried open and forced to witness late 2010s (fiction)kin drama has turned me extra sensitive and it's day 2137 of me telling people to please look up what being otherkin even means before using it for themselves I'm begging

If anybody has questions of any kind concerning the whole thing (whether it's purely for info's sake or more personal) then I'm fine with answering as long I'm given basic amounts of respect (no calling me a kinnie, no making me into a punchline, no making weird assumptions about me based off my kintype, no getting weirdly personal about it if you're another fictionkin from my source??)

*only concerning yomi, who might either be a fictionkin/fictive/who cares since apparently we're actually plural. uh oh. pinned might need further revisions but also im perpetually tired so. Later

Very often I have trouble with memory and articulating myself and whatever I write may end up looking a bit weird or just near incomprehensible and unfortunately there's nothing I can currently do about it. While I love receiving them, I might take very long to forever to actually answer an ask due to either low energy or anxiety. This should should go without saying but if you make fun of me for it like ever you're getting hard blocked into the sun

I'm autistic - don't tone police me. Sometimes I can't read sarcasm or playful rudeness. Don't expect me to understand or tolerate it when you start insulting me as a "joke", my autism & NPD wombo combo makes me really hurt by that sort of stuff. Or just. Don't expect strangers in general to be fine with that?? I kind of hate how normalized just being mean to people ironically has become.

I don't do "DNI"s as they're just objectively pretty stupid and ineffective, and just block people as I see fit. Instead, if you're curious about those, here are my boundaries under the cut which are optional reading - but might be helpful if you'd like to avoid getting blocked over accidentially crossing some of them:

I get very anxious over people leaving their negative opinions on/getting aggressive over Yomi under my posts, trust me I don't need nor want to hear it. You can go hate him literally anywhere else, why are you doing that here.

Nsft stuff might occassionally be referenced/discussed on this blog, but please never leave weirdly sexual asks/tags in relation to Yomi/me, even as jokes. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable and I will block over it from now on.

(continuing from above point: these sorts of comments are still usually perfectly fine to leave on the yaoihellsmile blog)

If you're wondering, or about to ask as to why I might have you blocked: I block very liberally over all sorts of stuff no matter how small, so I most of the time probably don't even know either.

I don't check carrds, sometimes I don't check pinned posts either. If you don't want me going through your stuff, the block button is simply the best way to do that. No hard feelings, I promise

If you bring up shipping discourse I'm compressing you into a cube. It's 2024 who fucking cares over which pixels you draw making out none of this is real consider logging off and caring about some actual problems

Probably will add onto those in the future. We'll see. anyway...

You're getting a krówka for reading all that👍👍

[worstgirl-online]

I'd like to take a moment away from the endless yuriposting to talk about something else

virtually every ttrpg post I see is about D&D

and it breaks my heart a little bit

don't get me wrong, you're allowed to like and enjoy whatever it is that you're into, but I get this feeling that a lot of folks play D&D because it's the game they hear about everyone else playing, and don't know what else is out there

there are plenty of folks who've critiqued a lot of aspects of D&D at length (much more articulately than I can), so I'm not gonna do that here. I will just say that I find the mechanics kinda clunky, and lend themselves toward encouraging players toward murder-hoboiness, complicated combat resolution, campaigns dragging on forever, and necessitating a very skilled GM to keep all of this from bogging down the game. Also it's kind of a lot of work. I get that it can be fun to create characters, plan campaigns, and do extensive worldbuilding, and if that's your jam then more power to you, but it does take a lot of time and energy

the thing is, there are thousands of other games out there that are worth your consideration, especially in light of WotC being a bunch of bastard capitalists

one such game is Apocalypse World, which throws players into a post-apocalyptic setting with a complex web of relationships and places in the power structure of their environment. the thing is, none of this is prepared beforehand. the players and the MC start from scratch, and cooperatively build the setting together, put together their characters in a quick and dirty multiple-choice fashion, figure out what sorts of threats and goings-on are happening around them, are prompted to establish relationships between their characters (friendly or otherwise), and let loose in the world they've just created. And then you play to find out what happens

another cool thing the game does is break the default 'adventuring party' format, and give players the opportunity to play characters that might traditionally be NPCs, like the proprietor of a seedy establishment or even the de facto leader of a community, which in turn radically alters the way events and characters interact with each other

what it ultimately gives us is a game where the players have more license to establish the fiction of the setting and what happens as a result of their actions, in collaboration with each other and the MC, to tell an emergent story, and to do so in a way that can be started and play a whole session in an afternoon with no prep

in the years since AW was released, it has spawned countless other games that use its mechanics in almost every setting imaginable. most of these are referred to as Powered by the Apocalypse (PbtA)

some of the big ones include:

Monsterhearts: a game about supernatural teenagers dealing with being both

Blades in the Dark: a dark Victorian fantasy in which the PCs are a criminal organization pulling off an endless variety of jobs. it also altered the mechanics of AW enough to establish its own Forged in the Dark system, and in turn spawned a bunch of other games

Dungeon World: a high fantasy PbtA game into which AFAIK you can port your existing D&D materials

and then we get to possibly my favorite pair of games, Dream Askew and Dream Apart

they carry the DNA of PbtA games in their blood, but take a radical departure from the mechanics to fully establish a diceless and GM-less framework called Belonging Outside Belonging

In Dream Askew players are members of a queer enclave on the margins of a collapsing society, navigating gender, relationships, survival, and conflict both from outside and within the enclave

Dream Apart is a historical fantasy game in which players are Jews living in an Eastern European shtetl, dealing with complicated family dynamics, conflict between tradition and newly developing movements, an often-hostile Christendom, and the forces of the Unseen World

what both of these games have in common is that they are focused on marginalized communities struggling both internally and externally. and to me at least, they are pretty accessible. everyone is a player, and everyone works together to establish the setting and take turns playing its various elements, and its diceless token system encourages players to play their characters as flawed, fallible people who make complicated choices that truly affect each other and the world around them

these two games, published in a single volume, have since spawned other games using the BoB framework like Wanderhome (Traveling Animal-Folk Pastoral Fantasy), galactic 2e (a galaxy far away), and BALIKBAYAN: Returning Home (Filipino Folklore-inspired Cyberpunk)

all in all, there's no right or wrong way to play games with your friends. and I know this was mostly about PbtA games and their derivatives, when there are so many more games and systems out there waiting for you to discover them. I just want you to know about them, in case you didn't already, and maybe take the chance to experiment with games that encourage different types of play, and explore worlds and identities outside that of high fantasy conquering heroes

[finsterhund]

Liveblog kinda I guess?

Someone recommended I watch the horror movie "Come Play" (2020) because "that's basically you" and yeah ten minutes in and this is pretty much exactly what 2010s Cayden embodiment would be. Except pure and not deranged lmaoooo.

So far this seems to be a more typical horror movie so it's more of an "eat snacks and try to guess when a jump scare is happening" experience which is usually what I watch. It's serviceable if generic. Not really bringing anything new to the table or being too interesting. I've been focusing a lot on artsy indie horror of late so it's good to change things up and go back into something knowing it's not going to completely flood my brain. It's nice to have neurodivergent kid protagonist representation that doesn't turn the kid into a source of "ooooh scary" for the sake of "disability weird and creepy" either. I kept bracing for "autism scary" but they never resorted to that.

Jealous of the cool house he lives in. This is quickly becoming a pattern.

The picture book monster designs are straight up spectres. I swear to fuck. If the little common spectres could grow up I guess. I want the in-universe book as like a hardcover or something it's cute. Can't tell if it's a ploy or if it's really a heartfelt monster friend yet. That's the fun of it. Could be either OR BOTH. I'd love to see that more in things. Where a supernatural creature is a predator with hunting instincts but it's not evil and will potentially under ideal circumstances be able to pack bond with humans who are otherwise a prey item.

Not gonna lie thinking about it now having it being central to the plot of a movie I am somewhat jealous of the availability of digital speaking devices possible with today's technology. I would have been far more articulate if I had something like that when my selective mutism was at its worst. May have made it easier for me to break into the wider world. Get more of a headstart. Saying that though the movie is quick to remind that neurotypicals can be fucking mean and stupid about accessibility tools. Not to go on and bash neurotypicals for seven hours straight but people get so fucking weird about this sort of thing. Call us unable to adapt to things but can't just roll with it when it comes to fairly cut and dry extensions of the self.

By the time I finally had an assistance device (first laptop) it was in high school and everyone learned to mind their own fucking business. I'd get chewed out by the occasional teacher but they quickly discovered I can't write for shit and that it was the only possible way I could take notes.

I'm expecting the "phone bad" plot to be stupid and drag my experience down but we will see.

I'm not liking the parents very much but how much of that is personal bias I cannot say. I may just be very stressed at the moment and projecting onto characters I know next to nothing about yet. The mom seems ok but the dad has a classic case of the "not really being there in equal measure as the mom is" that might imply worse.

Props to how you can really hear the parent's opinions and the learned ableism through the kid in Oliver's class whinging about how he gets "special treatment" for having use of a phone for accessibility. It really sounds like the sort of stuff you just know the kid is parroting from their shitty parent. The teacher could have handled it better than making it about that kid doing something to not deserve his phone as a toy. Should have instead been explaining that Oliver literally needs his for accessibility. But a lot of the time that is how these situations are mishandled by well-meaning but otherwise incorrect neurotypicals. The "clap back" at the kid who played Fortnite on his phone rather than explaining that the nonverbal kid uses his as a TOOL. and that's what's different.

The scene where the one kid from the bully's group lures Oliver with surface niceness just to get him away from prying eyes so their group can berate him is perfectly illustrated also. Because yeah they know to superficially not bully someone with disabilities, they know how to play nice, and the whole "pretending to be your friend to fuck with you" shit was very prevalent. I like how despite this being handled well it's not overly triggering like it could be.

God watching this just makes me wish we could have grown up together. This is a fictional fucking character but I know what he's going through so much and it's just not fair.

A lot of the spooky shit is interesting and isn't overdone visuals. Like the part with the papers in the car park. The camera filter scene also got me too. Because I am scared of cameras and the dark and faces. 🙃 The movie doesn't have deep psychological environmentally impressive fear building but the simple jump scares don't feel shitty either. It's basic for a horror movie but inoffensive.

Also I was right in the beginning to feel sus about the parents. They're having fights about Oliver and the mom is going on about how much she wishes she could "get rid of that part of him" so that she "wouldn't have to deal with it" as if it isn't literally a facet of who he is. The dad responds that it wouldn't be him then. The mom I swear to fuck I hate her. Shut the hell up "you have any idea what it's like for your own child to never look you in the eyes?" Bitch shut up. The kid doesn't feel comfortable with eye contact it's one little fucking thing to you but it's really significant issues for him. The mom is going on about how he apparently loves the dad but hates her. Oh I don't know autism warrior mom Karen perhaps he is able to tell and feel the way you talk and think about him? Like this? Right now? And that's why he doesn't feel comfortable or safe around you? Do you magically think he doesn't understand or feel the energy and vibes you emit about him? He's autistic, not mindless. For fucks sake. You think because he doesn't do things the way you think is the only way to do them he isn't able to at all? Gah. The dad being less present in his life is a double edged sword. Negative in that he could be there more for him but positive in the fact that when he is there he isn't a fucking bitch. Of course the kid is going to like him more. (I am taking this too personally I realize but jesus christ does this really hit at a sore spot)

"Larry" communicating with the same speech program Oliver uses is supposed to be creepy. They have him looking shocked and play suspense chords but I just think it's sweet. They're able to use the same aid and it's probably the first time Oliver has really had that sense of familiarity. I know that this is a monster and it's probably gonna try to eat him or something but so far the literal spectre ass looking demon thing has been more compassionate, respectful, considerate, and willing to be accessible to Oliver than any other major character. It's just scary and from another dimension. It feels like the monster is an allegory for having a disability that you're ostracized for.

Fucking screaming at the mom planning get togethers with the bully just because she's friends with his mom. Again, this is a common thing and it doesn't work out anywhere near as much as it should for parents to keep doing. But the mom being a fucking shit I realize she's likely never going to intentionally try to go out and find other disabled and/or neurodivergent kids to introduce Oliver to. These sorts of parents hope their kid will find "normal" friends that will make them "more normal" they already have to "suffer" "dealing with" their disabled kid they're not going to want to care for his peers too. 😔

The mom fucking going "can you try and have some fun for me?" You are literally forcing your kid to hang out with someone they don't want to, that I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt in assuming you aren't aware is bullying him. You are taking away what little autonomy he has in his life at the present. God. And the cherry on top is him leaving a situation that's uncomfortable to him (terrified his phone is possessed) and the mom of course assumes it's all about her, that he's avoiding her.

God the bully's whole friend group gets invited to the sleepover and the literal first interaction I see of the bully's mom with him is her joking about how she wants to get rid of him and load him off on Oliver's mom. Just casually joking about not wanting to be around your son to his face. That's lovely.

Christ the bully's mom asking Oliver's mom if she can say hi to him. As if he's her pet and not his own person. 😬 100% why the bully is like this.

CHRIST THE BULLY KIDS WERE LIKE "WHYS HE BEING WEIRD?" AND BEFORE THE BULLY'S MOM CAN TELL HIM OFF OLIVER'S MOM SAYS "ITS OKAY" I want Larry to kill this fuck so bad. She then goes on to explain stimming... I guess. The fact that the moms are talking about his personal developmental milestones also just right in front of him and the other kids. Man for fucks sake stop it. Can you at least make the effort to pretend to give him a level of privacy and dignity?

It's really hard at times to not want the bully kids to get got by the monster lol. Sometimes their lines make it clear they're just wildly misinformed and other times there's that level of cruelty that I still don't know where some kids get it from and other times they're behaving a bit too "adult wrote the lines" bully cliche.

Larry being described as pale when he's been depicted until this point as corpse-black threw me for a loop. Was hoping this wouldn't end up being another pasty white "rake-esque" creature. It got old fast lol

I get the feeling that if the bullies don't die they're gonna end up friends with Oliver through shared trauma. Jokes on you nobody's getting out of this neurotypical.

Yeah the "real life" Larry design is just uninspired copy of the rake. The visual effects are good but man.

I don't get why they blamed Oliver for that shit with the book though. Like they witnessed all the bulbs go and the creepy ebook and the table move on its own. What do they think he's got telekinesis or something? What happened really doesn't seem like something they'd all collectively make up the same story to blame on him. If that actually happened they'd be going on about ghosts or some shit surely? Frustrated me and I had to pause for a bit.

Have yet to see "phone bad" at all and maybe they won't do that. But the mom is a sack of shit so don't hold your breath.

God the mom thinking he did it. Yeah I'm sure your kid did all that with his mind. Of course.

Also next day at school one of the bully kids has a chew stim????? He's never shown with one before. He's only got it now that their ringleader is absent from school? Which shows I guess that they join him in picking on the more obviously neurodivergent kid to try and prevent him from targeting them as well? Sadly a realistic thing that happens also. Bully kid is clearly traumatized so I guess my joke about nobody leaving this story neurotypical is coming true to some extent. Then he confesses it wasn't Oliver but the Larry entity. The weird thing is the mom believes now too because she was in the house when it again started fucking with shit but even though it's shown to have control over the house she zeros in on the tablet. Eventually the dad finally takes Oliver and immediately he's a better parent. Brought him to his job at a toll booth car park and encourages him to participate and explains to him aspects of the job that make it accessible. Saying that you can watch cartoons when you're not dealing with customers. I feel he means well.

Find it funny that everyone's immediate first reaction to the Larry book showing up randomly is to read it. And read it aloud. Oh neat a spooky monster kids book is on this ipad. Gonna read it out loud. I've got nothing better to do.

Again, the different ways they show that the invisible entity is in the physical world and where/how it's moving is pretty cool. The cameras, the laser sight measurement tool, THE STICKY HAND. The use of the sticky hand is GOATed

This fucking speech therapist is bringing up PHYSICAL EMPATHS. Aka pseudoscience. Being like "the reason you are also experiencing this creature from Oliver's imagination is because you love him very much" which is bullshit because 1. she fucking doesn't. 2. The closest observed condition that this could even remotely be compared to is Folie à Deux. There is no fucking basis of "empaths" as having psychosomatic reactions like this in real life wtfffffff. Everyone in this movie except for the goddamn monster and kinda the dad is absent incompetent negligent or stupid to the point of infuriating ineptitude in being there for Oliver. Christ. Then this stupid fucking mom is like "oh I destroyed *that* device. As if the problem was a single thing and not idk. It did stuff in your fucking house. What is the logic of this!? They even discussed how Oliver has been using multiple screens for so and so long period of time wtffffff

Oh I fucking knew it was the bully kid's mom who was why he turned out that way. The reveal felt so validating. These poor kids. The bitch tricked her kid into thinking Oliver hated him and turned him against him. Jesus Christ. Felt so gratifying when they realized and made up. She is now the character I want to die the most. Second is Oliver's mom obviously.

The later parts of the Larry book make it clear that the monster is at the very least possessive and will kill those who get in its way but still no confirmation if it has ulterior motives to making friends. It looks like it's just really possessive and lonely. Are they trying to set it up as being evil???

The scene with the streetlights going off behind the car is sick af. God. Too bad Larry himself the real world version sucks. Got a closeup of his face and it's just not working for me as a design. Took the mom way too long to realize that this thing wasn't tied to just the one tablet. The way it talks by skipping channels to different words is a neat concept but ruins the mystery of it. Okay Larry you go and villain monologue to the mom through the TV. That's great. Finally we get to the "phone bad"-ism where "everyone's so lonely looking at their screens all the time that it literally created Larry out of their loneliness" man wtf. If you love someone who's in another continent go fuck yourself I guess. You're actually lonely. You don't have real relationship through the screen. Never mind the fact that the main character is literally only so reliant on electronics because it's his fucking accessibility device. He is using it to communicate in person. God they didn't think this through. Also this movie literally came out in 2020 I think Larry being born is small potatoes compared to the obvious alternative of everyone dying from a certain pandemic. Hmmm 😬

I was really hoping it wouldn't pull a "phone bad" but somehow it held off on doing so and then did so in a way that's somehow worse.

God the mom being like "Larry is lonely? How do you think I would feel if Larry took Oliver?" Always making it about you. Not to mention the fact that you treat him bad and talk shit about him and say that he doesn't love you as much as his father because he won't overstep his own personal boundaries for your benefit. Everything you've done and said up until this point would indicate that you'd enjoy your life better if it did just go and take Oliver.

God the mom is something else. running around like a chicken with its head cut off grabbing every screen in sight in the house and yeeting it out the door when the obvious solution is to take Oliver somewhere else. Then when I think it won't get any worse she's unscrewing all the fucking lightbulbs. Making a racket. Oliver is having a meltdown and the bitch screams at him "can't you just be normal for one second" oh I dunno. You're acting like a complete mindless stupid dumb animal right now, assuming it's because you're stressed. Maybe have some of that fucking "you love him so much empathy" the speech therapist thinks you have for once and understand that he's stressed and scared out of his mind. The irony that Oliver has handled everything better than her is obvious to seemingly everyone except her and the writer. Ugh.

Saw a blurry dark camera angle of toys on the floor and immediately went "lol Skinamarink" so my brain is broken obviously.

Oh fuck it wasn't the bully's mom who lied and manipulated the situation and ruined the friendship (???) It was Oliver's stupid fucking mom? (Honestly I think it was equal parts both of them but ymmv. I do not understand this reveal) And during this reveal she's trying to force him to look her in the eyes. And they're hiding from the monster. And poor Oliver writes that he wants it to take him because she ruined his friendship 😭 god. I just can't.

First decent thing this shitheel does is recognize that Oliver calms himself with the SpongeBob theme song and hums it to him. It came out of nowhere. Really didn't feel this character has grown enough for this moment. Doesn't feel deserved.

Yeah the clearer the shots we get of Larry the more I can see his real world design sucks. Disappointing. I must stress the practical effects that bring him to life are incredible. Great effects. Just I'm so tired of oversaturated trope of tall pale humanoid creature. He's got pretty boring designed feet and hands too like. It's like if they took all the style out of the monster designs in Little Nightmares. So you're left with mildly uncanny valley stretched out hairless man.

The mom is something else. "This thing is powered by electricity. Why do you keep saying for us to go to the field???!!" Oh I don't know 😒 truly one of life's greatest mysteries.

The mom sacrificed herself to the creature which is honestly the only way I think she could have redeemed herself. Kinda saw this coming with the "only goes away when you finish the story, give it your hand" thing. Doesn't feel at all earned. I mean yeah she gave up her life to protect him even though she did it right in front of him and further traumatized him 🙃 again, the story keeps having this issue where it will suddenly insist the whole universe revolves around Oliver's mom.

There's some pretty big storytelling inconsistency whiplash in this movie. It really had no business sympathizing with the mom so much. She literally caused every non supernatural problem and significantly worsened the supernatural ones. In the end she like... comes back as a ghost and spends time with him and definitely loves him unconditionally now. We hope. The movie wants us to think this. She has the teensiest amount of redemption and it implies more than shows that she's learned from her negligence and wrongdoing.

I did like a lot of what this movie did but god the autism mom martyr complex shit is genuinely wrong and bad. The narrative that parents of autistic children are heroes and the true "victims" of the "disease" for their insurmountably good deed of not abandoning their own children and blah blah blah is wretched. It's the mindset that makes the "charity" Autism Speaks so insidious. They don't care about autistic people. They care about the poor undeserving neurotypicals who are forced to have autism in their lives 😒

This movie could have been an absolute banger if it instead focused on Oliver dealing with this creature. Hell, I was hoping that he would bring it into the real world to stay rather than what it wanted which was the reverse and after the friendship he had with bully kid was repaired he'd introduce Larry into their newly forming friend group or some shit. Or that the creature was insidiously trying to take advantage of the situation to capture him or something. But no. We got "phones bad" because they somehow created this creature who only wants friends but is also violent and scary, and several times is shown in a comparative way to the autistic boy, and we have shitty mother redemption. God.

It really felt like there was a good story here and a lot of stuff was really good but the bad shit is impossible to ignore. The actors were all good but yeah there's some serious issues with the writing and message. Very frustrating. They didn't use the kid being autistic for horror because instead they made the monster essentially a representation of a neurodivergent child and blamed his creation on the use of the very same electronic devices that the autistic boy used to empower himself and have more autonomy. Yeesh that's a big issue.

Oliver was such a tender sweetheart literally didn't deserve any of this.

I went into this thinking "oh boy this is just run of the mill monster horror shit that has a relatable protagonist unlike the artsy horror this isn't gonna make me use my brain" but no that quickly changed.

It is worth noting that I never finished the Babadook because of all the issues I had with it. This feels like it wanted to right those wrongs but still valued neurotypical comfort and status quo over neurodivergent child acceptance.

Idk I'm probably way too hard on the mom character but just this once can we have an autistic kid being loved not in spite of his autism but including his autism? Please?

[ro-botany]

(There's videos now! And there are some observations, extra pictures, and silly prose below the cut. Enjoy! And let me know if there's any particular angle you want to see this guy from.)

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The Summoner's journal continues on the following pages, along with a collection of... moving photographs? How did they manage that?

It's been months since I last wrote in here... I've been so swamped between keeping the Order's operations running smoothly and working with the younger Grima. It took a long time to convince him to let me bring a healing stave near him. I don't know why they're so afraid of staves - they still haven't quite figured out how to speak in Askran, though they're trying, so they can't really tell me - but you don't rush things with dragons. His wounds were so much more extensive than we thought at first... But he's on the mend now. That's what's important.

Observations of Note

There's a lot that's odd about Grima's physical construction, but one of the most bizarre details to me is their rear limbs. Seeing them at rest you might assume they're a fairly standard mammaliform digitigrade hind leg... But the knee and ankle joints can bend side to side, in addition to the back and forth angling you expect. Frankly the entire limb and hip structure looks like a pair of human shoulders and arms attached backwards. I'd be curious to see how that works, skeletally; I wonder if x-ray tomes are a thing.

The anterior and middle segments of his torso can articulate! Clearly he doesn't have one solid ribcage for both sets of arms, as I'd thought before. His arms are as odd as his legs. There's a marked similarity to the arms of a human or bird's arms in the hand, thumb, and elbow; but there's an extra joint between the true shoulder and the elbow. A false shoulder? Doubled shoulders? Extra pair of reversed elbows? I'm not sure how to classify this.

Extra Photos

Now that they're physically healthy, and much more used to me, I've found they're actually... surprisingly playful? Whenever I come back after being gone in Askr a while they swoop around so cheerfully. For some of these photos I "asked" them to pose for the tome by doing charades, and they actually LAUGHED at me for it one time.

Introducing them to other people is... slow going, to say the least. They won't be aggressive if I'm nearby, but they won't interact with newcomers either. They just go sit on top of the pillars and start threat displaying... I'm not sure what I'm going to do about them going forward. Do we let them outside here in Archanea? Do we bring them back to Askr...? Surely there's a place for him in his own world that doesn't entail so much tragedy, but it's hard to know how to equip him to handle everything he'll face out there. And it's not like I know a lot of successful dragon parents to ask for help with this. Ugh.

An Anatomical Reference of Grima, ca. 608 (Archanean Calendar)

(In essence: I got my claws on Grima's model from Echoes, and took screenshots of it in blender for your art referencing convenience. At some point later I'll reblog with some gifs of his animations if I can get them working. Enjoy!)

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An excerpt from a worn journal attributed to an unnamed Summoner of Askr. Carefully affixed between paragraphs of chicken-scratch are several large, high quality photographs.

With the assistance of the dragon Askr, I've finally opened the correct gateway; one leading deep within the Thabes Labyrinth just around the time of the hero Alm's adventures. And it was just as the old manuscripts claimed! At the heart of the lowest levels, we found The Creation - he who would one day go on to be known as the Fell Dragon, Grima - laying in a deep torpor to conserve energy. It's taken near a month of work, and I've no doubt the rest of the Order thinks I'm nuts by now, but with a lot of one-on-one talking and the offering of several cart-fulls of quality carrion for him to eat, we've at long last built up a mutual trust! He's not quite at the point of letting any of us touch him, not even me; and he outright panics if he sees someone carrying a stave. As such, any real investigation of his physical health and detailed characteristics will have to wait. But he tolerates my flitting about with Anna's picture tome well enough, and has allowed me to take enough photographs and rough 3D scans for us to get a sense of his external anatomy. Once he's regained enough strength to move and levitate without undue difficulty, I hope to capture some short video of him in motion...

Full-Body Shots

His wings and horns are proportionally quite small compared to the much older instances of Grima I've dealt with thus far. Is this just because he's so much younger? With how much time he's spent trapped down here, it might be malnutrition stunting his growth, too...

Facial Shots

At first I'd assumed he had a pair of pharyngeal jaws like an eel, but upon further visual inspection I believe his cranial anatomy is far stranger than even that. There's no apparent gums or tongue inside the exterior jaw, and no musculature or soft tissue connecting the outer cranium to the outer jaw at the corners of the mouth; those features are confined solely to the inner pair of structures. And his lower external jaw isn't even connected to the flesh of his neck! I won't know for sure until he allows me to do a tactile exam, but from what I can see, I suspect his entire exterior "face" is actually a specialized defensive structure like the bony plates on his back. Like a big pair of horns, almost. What appears to be teeth may actually be akin to the points on a deer's antlers.

Torso Detail

His body construction really reflects his origins. He almost looks composed of two human rib cages, compressed and stacked atop one another. Complete with two lateral shoulder girdles and at least the appearance of very humanoid chest and back musculature. The range of motion on the joints of his hind limbs is decidedly NOT humanoid, though. I'll have to try to get some focused video shots of them once he's up and about.

I know we're not SUPPOSED to alter the timelines of the worlds we visit if we can help it, but... I mean, helping him has always been the goal, and the studies were always the excuse. Leaving him here would eat me alive. Maybe if I appeal to Sharena's emotions, and we get Chrom involved...

[stonewallsposts]

Self-sufficiency and Success 

Ran across a video of a young woman talking about her struggles to find love at her level of success. 

Here are her words. 

"I hate to say this, but all of my friends who are married or engaged, they are not as successful as my friends who are single. My friends who are not damsels in distress; all single. My friends who are damsels in distress; all taken.  

I'm looking for a partnership. I'm not looking for my other half. I'm a complete person. I want someone who's the same. What's the quote? "Be a boss. Date a boss. Build an empire." That's the plan. 

I'm fiercely independent, successful, have all the accolades. I have a great car. Guys are obsessed with my car when they see it. There's like that first initial like, 'Whoa!' And then you see it's someone you're about to go on a date with and they don't have something equivalent, I think they're kinda like, oh. 

I travel all over the country. I go to the most beautiful places. I fly first class everywhere. All my food is gonna be paid for. I stay in these beautiful suites overlooking the ocean. I think I’m pretty mature for my age; I'm 30. I know you don't say this word... but it's perfect. I have everything. I think that weirdly scares guys off.  

I have no one to share this cool life with. I'm concerned that the older I get, I'm going to have to make more sacrifices because I've "aged out." When I've been on dating apps I don’t know if anything promising is coming out of it anymore. I don’t want to be 36 and single." 

The young woman is very attractive. So why can't she find a partner?  

First I'd like to know what she means by 'damsel in distress'. Typically it means a woman who is in some kind of trouble, who presumably is looking for someone to rescue her. By extension, and I'm guessing this is what boss-babe (the woman in the video) thinks; her friends who are damsels in distress are not successful enough to take care of themselves, so they need someone (a man) to come along and save them.  

The second definition that might need more careful scrutiny is "successful". Success means different things to different people, and while boss-babe is independent and financially successful, she is also unhappy.  

I have always thought of success as just generally being happy and content. Lots of people think the key to happiness is financial success. But I've seen enough unhappy people who are financially successful to know that financial success isn't the same thing. So she is, out of the gate, defining her damsel in distress friends who have relationships as "not as successful." But if those friends in relationships are happier, then that would be successful. Boss-babe, at least in her own theory, doesn't think so, but then she's also not happy being single.  

But I feel the damsel in distress remark reveals where the crux of the problem is, so I’m going to try and figure out how to articulate this.  

Boss-babe sees this character of damsel in distress as less than. "She's not looking for her other half", she says she's already "a complete person. She's a boss and fiercely independent." 

I believe she sees damsels in distress as weak and unable to take care of themselves. They are dependent, instead of independent.  

But this is where the problem is. I think one of the foundations of relationships is mutual help. There is certainly some freedom in not having to be accountable to someone else and being able to make decisions on your own. But just as often, there is a blessing in being accountable to someone else. They often think of things you don't and will act as counsel and help in making decisions.  

Part of relationships is recognizing weaknesses, in both ourselves and the other, and then working together to shore those things up. Admitting to needing someone else isn't weakness, it's human. And I don't think that needing someone else is a feminine, damsel-in-distress thing either. Men need women as well. Traditionally, men were supposed to be the providers, and therefore be financially independent, while women would provide the domestic side that men couldn't because they were at the job. Both of those things are necessary to making a home, and if one person can't do both, then help is needed. That's not some deficiency in the person, it's recognizing we can't do it all and we need some help. 

These days, most couples will both work and both take care of elements of the home. But the point is, a woman wanting a man to help make a life doesn't make her a damsel in distress, any more than a man wanting a woman to help make a life doesn't make him a dude in distress.  

Boss-babe never tells us what she does or how much she makes. But if what she says is true, let's assume she makes quite a bit. Several hundreds of thousands per year. If she lives in NY or LA, maybe half a mil per year. It's also fair to assume she's fairly driven if she got to that point by 30, since she's already in the top .3% of earners nationwide.  

She wants someone else like her: another boss. But if she doesn't need her partner, and conversely her partner doesn't need her, then they're only with each other for kicks. 

I do feel like the "I'm a complete person" comment needs some commentary of its own. 

She IS a complete person. But she seems to think she's a complete person because she's financially independent. I know she's making the comment with respect to the common phrase "looking for my other half". That phrase is probably problematic in itself, and there are other phrases that people use about looking for a mate that clue us in to wrong motives, but that would be another post, and this is already long. It does make me want to ask: Does she think her damsel in distress friends are incomplete persons because they want a mate? If that's the case, why would she even want to try to find someone to share her life with? Why does she want to be not-single by the time she's 36? Hasn't she already told us that she's complete, self-sufficient, and doesn't need anything? That her life is perfect?  

Clearly, she's off somewhere, and I think it's that she has bought into a model of self-sufficiency that precludes other people. She give off the vibe that would tell any guy: you're superfluous. 

Would anyone, male or female, want to be in a relationship where their contributions are pointless, where the other person can take them or leave them? I'd bring nothing to the relationship and be incapable of adding anything to it... I'd essentially feel like I'm of no value to the equation at all. Why would anyone want to sign up for that?  

I had hoped to find the source of this video and watch more of it, because the clip I saw is clearly incomplete. Maybe she said other things that would clarify her meaning more. I shouldn't be too quick to judge her because I don't know enough about her, and further, who am I to judge. But I intuited a connection between her comments on damsels in distress revealing an attitude she has, and her lack of a partner that she can't understand. She believes her high level of success had made her intimidating to guys, and that's why she is partnerless. I believe her attitude of independence renders her unattractive as a partner because potential mates would feel worthless. 

Does a high level of success inevitably produce this attitude? I don't think it has to, but then again, the process of achieving such high levels of success probably selects for driven, independent personalities. I would also guess that women, more than men, find themselves victims of it simply because of the general difference in approaches between men and women. I would imagine women who do find themselves in the position find it harder to find men who will adjust to them, than men can find women who will adjust to them. High achieving women who don't seem to want men who achieve less, which will more severely limit their pool of options. Men don't tend to care what level of success their woman achieves.  

[e-6000]

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