#instead of taking time to think about this i just vomitted it out there
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astudyinimagination · 1 day ago
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You know what, don't just leave that there. Maybe, instead acting in deliberate bad faith, link the article: https://www.avclub.com/steven-moffat-condemns-ai
Heck, actually, I'm a bit miffed at the AV Club because the half of the subhead is not properly attributed. So I'm just gonna copy-paste the whole thing here because it's short. But before I do that, I'm going to say that, as an actual fangirl of Moffat, I forever have to contend with two things: 1. That he always does a lot of verbal vomit when he gives interviews. To be fair, I'm not sure that I would do that much better in his shoes. 2. That he has a certain sardonic wit that has always translated very poorly in written interviews, wherein writers almost never bother to try to convey his tone. He comes across much better when you can actually hear him speak, and in full context (something that's also rare in written interviews).
Full text of the article below (which includes a link to the origin of the interview, the Radio Times), with commentary from me:
Don’t worry, Whovians—it seems like the Doctor isn’t about to regenerate into a bastardized AI version of himself any time soon. Doctor Who writers Steven Moffat and Russell T Davies recently took on the topic of generative AI in a conversation with Radio Times, and while the former acknowledged that the technology is “fascinating,” he also derided it in the most “Doctor Who writer” verbiage possible. “My son explained it to me. He said, ‘Yes, it can do all these things. It might even get quite good at them. But it takes an immense amount of power to run AI.’ Whereas you can run a human being on sunlight and a vegetable patch,” Moffat said. [See, the first half of the subhead, or article subtitle, is Moffat's son speaking, but the subhead doesn't acknowledge that, which is extremely shoddy journalism on their part.] “Human beings are amazingly cheap, we’re knocking out human beings every day.” Definitely spoken like someone who spends his days writing about anything but. [Definitely spoken like someone with a very sardonic sense of humor, which apparently this writer can't grasp. By the way, the commentary in the article means that it's editorial rather than news, in case you were wondering.]
Still, Moffat does know his human patterns. “Unlike anything else in history, the more we use it, the less good it is,” he continued. “Because the more content that is out there produced by AI, the more it absorbs its own content, and eats its own tail.”
That’s a very astute—and upsetting—prediction, but Moffat and Davies aren’t all doom and gloom. After Davies got a quip in about how “television has run on those principals (absorbing its own content) for a very long time,” Moffat continued: “That’s true, but we occasionally have a new idea. I admit, it doesn’t happen very often, certainly not in my case, but occasionally I have a new idea. But [AI] will never have a new idea. That’s not what it does.”
Davies, for one, doesn’t think the two of them will be replaced any time soon. He’s also far more optimistic about the state of television than some recent reports suggest he maybe should be. The overall number of shows on the air may be steadily decreasing, but the showrunner thinks “the rate of new ideas on television is higher than we ever allow for.” “We always tend to think that things bumble along at a very average level, and the great outliers are here and there,” he continued. “And every month, or every two months—actually, every day, I could find you something brilliant on TV.” [I love his positivity here; it's very Doctorish.]
Hopefully, Doctor Who‘s upcoming Christmas special, titled “Joy To The World,” will be one of those brilliant things. The episode will feature Nicola Coughlan and see the Doctor (Ncuti Gatwa) check into a “time hotel” that allows him to visit every Christmas Day in history. You can watch that adventure on our present Christmas Day, even if you can’t travel back in time.
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I’m just going to leave this here
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silvexus · 7 months ago
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Re: Sometimes feeling species dysphoria as someone who doesn't ID as non-human - would you be willing to expand on that? It's okay if not - I don't want to pry - but I've never heard of someone having that experience before and think it might be valuable to the overall conversation.
That said the comparison to cis folks sometimes experiencing gender dysphoria makes intuitive sense to me, too.
Sure! I'll try my best to figure out how to articulate this in a way that makes sense and is also respectful (as someone who doesn't ID as non-human, I obviously do not want to appropriate experiences!) but I do fear it may not be as interesting as it sounds.
This got really long, so I'm putting in a read more, oops!
For clarification, I experience psychosis (since childhood) and have neurological disorders. I think the combination of these things is what causes what I'm about to try to describe, though I would certainly not try to say that the only thing that can cause species dysphoria is this sort of experience, nor would that would make someone's experience any less valid if they chose to ID as non-human if they were in a similar situation. Everyone is different, after all!
Primarily, this thing I equate to species dysphoria manifests as two different things that I tend to describe as non-human body language and non-organic yearning.
Non-human body language isn't as encompassing as I'd like it to be, but it's hard to articulate. My limbs don't feel right sometimes; disproportionate to each other, maybe. My spine feels wrong; too short, maybe? That could be the scoliosis causing both of these things, but it happens in my arms sometimes too. I don't know what it wants to be, however. There's ways my body wants to move to convey ideas to others than I can't emulate properly. My vocal mimicry is good, but not good enough, though I wouldn't really tell you what calls I'm supposed to make. I do trill a lot, when I can.
My teeth aren't quite sharp enough, I know that. And would a tail help? Would upright, pointy ears? A crest of feathers? I wouldn't mind a crest, I think, but then the moment passes and what I have is... acceptable. Fine. I am here, in this place, and my nerves are made of fire.
In a more permanent fashion, I bunt people to show my affection, but even when I physically can't it is a constant urge. (I nearly broke poor @/sattarehi asking if I could bunt him.) It's easier to move on all fours sometimes, or just in ways that are unintuitive to a human blueprint. To curl around people while we're sitting on the edge of a bed, them sitting up, me on my side to encircle them, in a way I don't see others doing often. The way I hold my arms sometimes feels like the resting position of something else; holding them at my sides like a person is expected to feels wrong, like it'll impede my ability to flee if I need to. (From what? Is that the paranoia? The hypervigilance? The nerves again? The various and sundry neurodivergencies?) When I'm socially allowed to cross my arms it helps, but it's not quite perfect.
Sometimes, the fact that I cannot do these things more effectively (though my brain does not grant me the knowledge of what that would look like), that I am considered eccentric and strange for doing them at all, pulls at something in me that doesn't speak in any language I have access to.
As an aside that may only slightly be relevant, my social integration is interesting. People who are friends or close associates or even people I think of fondly become extensions of us in a way that isn't so much possessive, but in the same way a tight knit family group might be among certain animals. (Which is why when people ask 'do you experience romantic love?' I can't honestly say. This is already quite intense, you want me to try and define it further?) And that's to say nothing of the prey drive. The human prey drive is intense enough, and I can certainly repress it well (I can't believe PvP games were good for something) but mine feels a little overtuned.
... So the non-organic yearning is fun to try and figure out, but it provokes the same feelings, so I'll try to articulate it just in case it helps!
It feels like I am made of something deeper. Something farther. Here, there, everywhere. I feel like I am floating adrift in a dark sea, unable to drown or sink, though surely I must. Surely I must. And yet.
It isn't an invincibility. It isn't a belief in a higher power or an afterlife. For the sake of my health, I cannot believe in these things. (We shan't talk about my childhood delusions, but they were quite elaborate! You could tell I was into world religions as study subject as a child.)
But sometimes I look into the sky and feel it staring back, like I am stuck in a Polaroid that an old friend keeps looking at to remember me. I look at pictures from all of our instruments that turn into the infinite dark beyond our planet and my brain thinks I want to go home the same way I do when I see my hometown on a map. I am not from here, something in me insists. I am from nowhere, but I am certainly not from here. Is that the intergenerational trauma? The thing that infects you and fills in where your grandparents' language and food and culture is supposed to be? The remains of what a war before you were born left behind? Or is it something else?
It feels like something else, the same way sometimes my body feels wrong in the same, but different, way that it always feels wrong. It feels like whatever I am, separate from this meat suit and these mutinous neurotransmitters, is from somewhere else. That it knows this. That it wants to go back.
Not all of my body dysmorphia is neatly gender dysphoria. Species dysphoria, as a term, helps gather these experiences up neatly, even if I don't identify as non-human. I am human. I am a strange, eccentric human, even if I feel like Something Else Wearing A Human Skin, but ultimately human regardless. Despite that, almost. Maybe, in a strange, contradictory way, I'm both. Human is what I want to be, at the end of this day. But regardless, it does help me understand things a bit more than someone who doesn't have the same experiences, I think. And maybe this will change in the future as my understanding of myself grows! I'm a whole adult, but I'm growing every day, you know?
(You know that book, Casual Rex? And they made it into a show pilot/TV movie called Anonymous Rex? And it was about dinosaurs barely surviving their extinction and pretending to be human and they wore disguises to blend in? There's a scene where a character describes another character as "she's a human pretending to be a dinosaur pretending to be a human!" Life feels like that sometimes.)
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princessmyriad · 16 days ago
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#personal#thinking about how the phrase treat others how you want to be treated is actually incredibly one way#unless damn near every person ive ever met wants to be treated like shit which i cant imagine is true#like idk i spent a lot of my time giving my energy to people. and ill never feel bad for putting love and kindness out into the world#but i gave some of these people everything i had. or not everything that would diminish me but everything i could spare for them at the time#i treated them attentively and considerately and tenderly and lovingly#and that kindness has not been extended back to me by most of these people#some of them have surely in their own 'love language' and im grateful for these people in my life#but most of the people ive treated with intentional care have actively and on purpose caused me a lot of emotional harm#which again. im working through and like karma will get them without me needing to be there or whatever while i do my own healing#but regardless i still think some of that shit should not have happened like it did#i dont understand how everyone can say to me treat others how youd like to be treated but not tell me the caveat#that they will not treat me the way i want to be treated even if i put in that effort for them/for our friendship or relationship or whatevr#like idk im a bitch for asking you to leave me alone when ive been vomiting for two days straight but you can straightup sexually misconduct#with my body and then when i write poetry about it and share my feelings instead of leaving and taking that information anywhere helpful#you get to decode youre traumatized actually and im still a bitch for bringing it up?#make it make sense#'treat others the way you want to be treated' so youd like it if i starved you and verbally insulted and gaslight and manipulated you? no?#then what the fuck is the point of you saying that to me???#idk im just fucking pissed rn that. idk what im pissed at. cause again i know im no contact with all of these people now and their#shitty justice will find its way to them. and i cant be mad at myself for saddling with the wrong people cause some of that was my choices#and some of it was blood i couldnt escape for a long time. and i said i dont want to regret or resent#putting love out to the world#but i am still angry that so much of me was given to the wrong people. that these people just chose to completely ignore#the level of respect and patience and kindness i showed them#idk dudes im just angry. 'treat others the way you want to be treated' fuck off thats some quiet manipulation bullshit to get me to be#nicer to you even as you abuse the self-worth outta me fuck off fuck you#i found it again. you cant bury it im too full of love to not love myself too but it hurts how hard they tried for so long#'treat others the way you want to be treated' how bout no. how bout i treat everyone with a base level of kindness#and when youve shown me that you will treat me the way i deserve to be treated then ill fucking play niceys back
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whisperofwonder · 4 months ago
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Comfortable
Uncomfortable domestic moments when you realize just how comfortable you are together, and how much he really cares about you
I just really love domesticity, okay? Even when it isn't pretty.
Featuring: Kuroo Tetsurou, Ushijima Wakatoshi, Miya Atsumu x reader
(a few potential triggers here, sorry!) TW: vomit / vomiting in Kuroo's ; blood/period in Ushijima's, then you'll have Atsumu's which is really just light and kind of goofy oops
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KUROO TETSUROU
"Ugh," You moan as you reach to flush the toilet. You get to your feet and turn to find Tetsurou still hovering behind you. You grimace thinking about how he'd held your hair back just moments ago, as you released the entire contents of your stomach into the toilet bowl.
He hands you a cup of water. "How are you feeling?" He asks as you rinse out your mouth - it's a silly question, all things considered, but you don't exactly have a snarky answer at hand.
"I'm sorry," You blurt instead, not quite sure how he can be looking at you with that almost tender expression on his face after witnessing that.
"Why are you apologizing?" He asks softly, reaching to unstick a sweaty strand of hair from your face.
"Because, it's so gross. You didn't have to come in here," You insist. "I'm an adult, and - you really shouldn't have to see that." You purposefully avoid glancing in the mirror. You don't even want to know what you must look like right now.
"But I don't want you to feel gross alone," He says as if it's simple. You open your mouth, searching for some kind of retort, but nothing comes. "I know you can take care of yourself, but you shouldn't have to," He continues. "Not when I'm right here."
It's so surprisingly sweet that you feel your face start to crumple. "Tetsu," You squeak out.
"Shh," He shushes you, "Just tell me what I can do. Do you need anything?"
"I just want to go back to bed," You admit, reaching out to grab the edge of the sink as you feel yourself begin to waver.
"Okay then," He says, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before he scoops you up in his arms, slowly carrying you back to the bedroom and setting you gently on top of your pillows. "Try to get some rest," He murmurs, pulling the blankets up over you. "I love you," He adds, brushing the hair away from your face.
"I love you too," You murmur back, leaning into his touch and the comfort of the knowledge that he'll always be right here.
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI
Your alarm feels even earlier than usual, and after confirming that it is indeed time to get up, you turn it off with a groan. You're feeling particularly at odds with the world already today, and part of you just wants to pull the covers over your head and go back to sleep. Instead, you slither out of bed, standing next to it as you check the e-mail notification that had popped up overnight.
"Oh," At the sound of his voice, you turn to look at Wakatoshi. He's sitting on the edge of the bed, and he's looking at you with a slight frown on his face. "My love..." He gestures down at your side of the bed, and to your horror, you see a streak of red on the otherwise pristine sheets.
Suddenly, the way you're feeling is making a lot more sense. "Oh no," You drop your face in your hands, muffling your words. "That's absolutely disgusting. I'm so sorry." You don't even want to look at him, but at the sound of rustling sheets, you finally drop your hands. Your boyfriend is methodically stripping the bed.
"Why don't you get in the shower? I'll start washing these." He says matter-of-factly. There must be something in your expression, because you see his face soften. "It's alright. It's natural," He assures you.
"But-" You can't put into words how mortified you are. Natural or not, he shouldn't have to see it, much less clean it up. "At least let me do that," You insist finally, reaching for the pile of bedding.
"No," He twists away so that it's out of your reach, "I've got it. Just get in the shower, okay?"
"You shouldn't have to, though," You say more softly.
"I don't have to," He agrees. "I want to help you. Can I do that?"
You bite your lower lip, trying not to let your hormonally-charged emotions win this battle. "Okay," You say finally.
"Okay," He echoes you, dropping the sheets into the laundry basket before crossing the room back to you, gently taking your face in his hands and pressing a kiss to your lips. "I'll make you some tea to have with breakfast," He adds after he pulls away. "Will that help?"
"Yes," You whisper, the I-love-you hidden in his words practically echoing in your head. You can't resist pulling him back in for one more kiss, hoping he feels the I-love-you-too that you press into it.
MIYA ATSUMU
"Atsumu!" You knock on the bathroom door, "Are you soon done?" It's moments like these when you really regret that this apartment has only one bathroom.
"Just got in!" He shouts back above the sound of the running shower. You bite back a sigh. He's famous for his long, hot showers.
"I really have to go!" You call back. "Can't you make it quick?" You're on the verge of pacing back down the hallway, just to help you hold it in.
"The door isn't locked! Can't ya just come in and go?" You freeze. It might be silly, but it's an unspoken milestone that you haven't crossed yet - peeing in front of each other.
"But!" You groan.
"But what? Ya've seen me naked before," You can practically hear his smirk.
"Tsumu," You whine, but in a matter of moments, you open the door anyway. It's gotten to the point where you don't have much choice. With only a moment's hesitation, you put up the toilet lid.
"How was yer day?" Atsumu begins conversationally.
"We're not doing this," You say quickly. "I'm going, and then I'm leaving the bathroom."
You hear him sigh. "Want me to get out and pee too, so we're even?" He asks, completely serious.
"No!" You say quickly. "I'm leaving now." Before he can say anything else, you're closing the door behind you.
About 10 minutes later, Atsumu finds you in the kitchen, towel wrapped around his waist as drips of water slip from his hair. "Guess we're a real couple now," He grins, leaning in and pressing a damp kiss to your lips.
"We weren't before?" You ask, quirking an eyebrow.
"'Parently not. Didn't know it was such a big deal," He says with a smug grin. "How will I ever look at you the same again?"
"Hey!" You swat his bare shoulder indignantly. "It was your idea." You remind him.
"Guess so," He hums. "Know what? I think I still love ya just as much." His smile is softer somehow, despite the teasing glint in his eyes.
"Oh?" You ask, struggling to maintain your haughty expression.
"Yeah," He nods. "Looks like you're stuck with me." He leans in for a longer kiss, almost making you forget about the small puddle that's begun to form on the floor.
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ivy-elle · 1 month ago
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"What are you even talking about?"
Or: How they react to you being overly intoxicated aka drunk af
Feat. Albedo, Scaramouche
Notes: No mentions of vomiting, do not worry
Version ft. Xiao and Kaeya
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“You… are like totally the most beautiful being on this earth. How is that even legal?”
Your drunk-hazed gaze looks up at him, an admiring, nearly even mesmerised expression on your face.
Albedo stifles a surprised laugh behind a cough, his fist concealing his soft smile. “Thank you, y/n. Why don’t you sit down first?”
Obediently, you follow along as he gently guides you to the couch, the slight grin not wanting to leave your face. Even less, when he crouches down in front of you, studying you with intent focus. He can’t help the slight concern slipping into his expression as he reaches out to brush a strand of hair from your face.
Meanwhile, you seem to have the time of your life with him being so close to you, with his gentle touch, like you’re something delicate.
How is it even real that you are able to call him your friend – let alone your partner. Like, your very own!
Just the way his crystal-like eyes follow yours, his shimmering hair catching the faint light of the room, down to how pretty his lips move when he speaks…
Wait. Right. He speaks. Listen.
Focus.
Right.
“If you’re able to eat right now, I suggest getting some carbohydrates into your system, my love,” he explains, gently tilting your face. “That way we can nudge your blood level back to normal again.”
You barely contain a silly giggle at his tender touch. “I’d eat straight-up eat wheat right now if you asked me to.”
Albedo nods, very slowly, his brows furrowing as he ponders about how to handle this situation best. “I see. Well, that’s not quite what I had in mind.” And yet, a part of him can’t help but be fascinated by your responses. “Would you be satisfied with some toast instead?”
You hum airily, but the moment he lifts himself up you feel your face fall into a pout, immediately missing his warmth.
“Wait,” you quickly try to prevent him from leaving. “On second thought – I am not even that hungry. You can keep staying here. Sitting.”
“I will remain here.” He slips his fingers from yours, a smile tugging his lips. “See? I am just across the room.” You should eat something to prevent some serious hungover.”
You watch him quietly, nearly enchanted by his smooth movements as he prepares some snacks, listening to his soothing voice. Has he always had this effect on you? You can’t tell. You can’t even care less right now.
“Personally, I’ve never experienced a hangover myself, but it starts right after the alcohol level in your blood starts to drop. And given your state…” He offers you a plate with some fresh toast and light fruits, “I presume it’s best to take precautions now.”
“Thank you,” you murmur fondly, accepting the plate. To your relief, Albedo joins you on the couch.
“Slowly. Take your time.”
“Maybe I was starving a bit. Archons, this is good.”
Albedo chuckles softly, gently taking your hand in his. You feel his thumb lightly tracing along your wrist before it settles on your pulse.
Your turn toward him, tilting your head in confusion. “I am still alive. I think.”
His eyes crinkle, soft musing laced in his voice. “Yes, I can see that, my love. I am merely checking your heart rate.”
Albedo looks you over and the moment your eyes meet his again, you feel your heart rate slightly quicken beneath his fingers.
His frown turns into a soft smile. “You’re feeling alright?”
“If you keep touching me this way, I’ll feel even better.” You hum, your eyes drifting to his lips.
But before you can follow your impulses, Albedo draws back, gently pushing you back by your shoulder. “Forgive me, love, but I’d rather you be sober first.”
Now you can’t help but pout, your face scrunching up. “That’s a bit excessive.”
Amused but persisting, he shakes his head, but not before leaning in and to place a soft kiss on your temple.
“Eat up. I’ll set up some tea and antidote for your headache.”
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“I see you’ve lost your mind entirely,” Scaramouche remarks dryly as he halts at the doorway.
“Shhh. I need to focus,” you murmur, not even bothering to look up from where you’re lying on the ground. The room is cloaked in darkness - all windows are drawn shut to prevent any lights from falling inside, and disturbing work of art.
Scaramouche’s gaze darts to the perfectly good bed right beside you. Why, in Teyvat’s name, would you prefer the cold, hard floor? Hasn’t his day been eventful enough as it is already?
“Look at this,” you whisper again, and Scaramouche raises an eyebrow as your Electro Vision flickers to life again. His eyes follow your gaze to the ceiling, where charged threads of Electro dance in a chaotic disorder, illuminating the room in soft purple light. But your attention is glued on the lights, absolutely fascinated by this spectacle.
He steps closer, a pinched expression on his face. “Why don’t you-“
Before he can finish, you reach out, snatching his wrist and pulling him down next to you.
“Look!” you repeat once more.
Obviously, you’re only able to actually move him, because he lets you. But he does not lay down on the ground – who do you think he is? Instead, he crouches down next to you, fixing you with a look, like you’ve lost it entirely. His eyes narrow as he notices your abnormally flushed face, grasping that something is not quite right with you.
But you’re completely ignoring his unsettled expression, rather lifting your hand again to tilt his chin upward, directing his to the ceiling. “Listen to the sky, Scara,” you explain in a tone like it’s supposed to clear up everything.
Listen to the sky?
Scaramouche’s eyes dart down to you again, irritation building up inside him now. He dislikes this - having you physically here, but at the same time you not acting like yourself.
“What the hell is going on with you?”
Your eyebrows scrunch up as you turn your head toward him, like you’re pouting that he isn’t taking your lightning show as serious as he should. “You’re always complaining how fake the sky of Teyvat is. So, I recreated it. Now you have your own. Or, my own. Like – ours, I guess.”
For the sake of his pride, Scaramouche quickly schools his face. A strange combination of confusion, irritation and at the same time a strange warmth settles in his chest. His eyes flicker over your slightly dazed features.
“You’re drunk,” he states flatly, trying to sound unbothered.
For that he earns yet another. “Shhh!” This time a small, but sheepish grin tugs at your lips.
For a moment his eyes linger on you, before he tears them away, letting his gaze return to the ceiling. Now that he’s seeing the purple mist of electro from this angle, your perspective…
“How fake can it be, if I created it myself?”
At the sound of your gentle whisper, he feels his resolve weakening, eyes flickering between the charged branches, now finally taking form on the ceiling.
You created … a sky. For him alone.
Then, even softer, as if to not drive him away, you add, “Sometimes you need to be a bit intoxicated to see the world differently.”
Scaramouche stretches his legs out, leaning back on his elbows. “The ground was the best solution you had?” But there is no real bite in his voice, he is way too immersed in the little universe you’ve created in the room.
For him, his own Electro Delusion has always been nothing more than a tool – a means to gain power. To destroy. Yet, here you are again, showing him the other side of the coin, proving, that in destruction lies its own universe of creation.
“You smell nice,” he hears you mutter suddenly, breaking him through his trails of thoughts.
Of course, you’d say something like this right now. Without looking at you, He doesn’t look at you the corner of his mouth twitches. “I know. You, on the other hand, have had better days.”
You gasp, pushing him away lightly. “Rude! I do not smell bad!”
“You reek of alcohol. It’s onerous.”
He hears you grumble something incoherent under your breath, slurring the words into a mess.
Unimpressed, he clicks his tongue. “Consequences of your own actions.”
But as you shift to stand back up, the electro particles above start to dissolve as well. Almost immediately, his hand grabs your wrist, holding you close. “Stay down.”
You stare at him. Then you blink once. Twice. And then a shit-eating-grin spreads on your lips. “Oho! So, you do like my sky. Ha!”
A scoff escapes him as he tries to act nonchalant and averts his eyes back to the ceiling. “Don’t get ahead of yourself. I simply prefer not having you stumbling around the room like a drunk sailor, just because you don’t know your limits. Which seem to be quite low.”
You sit back down, not without grouching a quiet “Jerk.”
“Idiot.”
The two of you glare at each other, daring the other to say something. Eventually, you relent, rising your hands and bringing the lighting to life once more.
Scaramouche remains quiet, savouring your presence for a second longer. Before he looks back at the stars again.
Who needs a fake sky, if a whole universe is right there beside him already?
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Thank you so much for reading! Comments and reblogs are so appreciated <3
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hyhkai · 5 months ago
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camboy! | c.yj.
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[ 🎥 ] — after yeonjun's rise in the porn industry, an interview was something he agreed to for fun. however, after he saw you, the interviewer, he wished it was a fake interview where he gets to fuck you.
cw : pornstar!yeonjun. unedited word vomit fictional magazine company that apparently also exists in real life.
a/n ; i apologize for my sins i swear I'll change 🙏🏼 and this is a drabble, not a fic! i might turn it into one over time ♡
after you reached out to him a few weeks ago with greetings and compliments, and asking can I interview you some time? I'd like to know what it's like to be a person who earns through the adult industry, and with your fame, I know that you're just the right person., his first, honest reaction was to laugh. i mean, seriously?
he was laughing at the irony of the fact that he was being interviewed. i mean, who was willing enough to take out time of their busy, hectic schedule to interview a man who earns bread by having a dildo inside of him? he had to know. he wanted to know what this person was like.
he did think that this could be completely false and you could be a potential threat, trying to lure him into your little cage with cheese like he's a fucking rat, capture him and do bad things to him like he'd heard with various nefarious acts of people against people with 'easy' fame.
"can I get proof that you're actually an interviewer?"
to which he immediately got a response with a photo of a xerox copy of your identification document, namely at a popular company called mode de vie. he could see the black and white ink that framed the photo stuck on the top right corner, and he knew that he had to see that fucking face in real life. if that's how you look in a awfully captured picture, so captivating, bold, and confidence outlining your eyes in the form of sharp eyeliner, he had to see that face in front of him, asking him questions about his body count or something else he doesn't give two shits about.
he'd said sure to your offer almost immediately now that he saw that it was a real interviewer after him. and now that it was time, he drove to the place where you both agreed to be at — a café which was relatively close to his house and your office.
"I'm glad you came!" you said as you shook his hand that would eventually get sweaty from just sitting opposite to you. what the fuck? he seriously considered telling you to quit this stupid, serious job and just join him in his public sex life. you were stunning.
now that he saw your hair open, framing your face, and that fucking sharp-ass eyeliner, he was mad that he didn't dress up nicely and instead came in a hoodie. who wants to miss a chance of getting a baddie?
he thanked the lords he'd long forgotten when you told him this is just an audio based interview which will later be turned into a text format.
while you continued asking him questions about everything, from "fuck-a-fan" to "how did your mother find out?", he'd needed to ask you to repeat your questions several times. his eyes kept drifting down, down to your chest.
'why the fuck are you wearing a top so low-cut? is it to provoke me or something?' he'd think. he legitimately wants to put his hand on the table, pushing himself towards you and grabbing one of your tits. it's pissing him off he can't.
okay, so maybe he was a pervert like one of his friends liked to say. but it wasn't his fault when you were asking him questions about his sex life while looking at him with those eyes that were possibly tearing his clothes off.
in his world, that is.
'do you want to fuck me too, or am I trippin'?'
he knew he had to keep his filthy hands, his filthy thoughts, to himself. c'mon, it's a fucking interview, yeonjun. grow up. you've had plenty of girls and guys to fuck in your life. from small and petite, to taller than you. from fucking someone to getting fucked. you've done it all. why are you so captivated by this woman?
maybe it was the way you had your makeup done that had him wishing he could see it smeared all over with a new makeup product; his cum, or maybe it was your tits that were practically begging to be the thing he shoves his face in tonight. but no, it was the way you carried yourself.
there was this... this aura, this radiation of confidence that was magnetic enough for him to be pulled to you.
under the table, he was practically going to rub one out. he kept adjusting his pants, kept palming his dick that was straining against his pants and standing up against his thoughts of not fucking you ever.
ugh, just how fucking good you'd look on his bed, and he swears he could go above his rounds per fucking streak of 4 with you; from classic missionary to the amazon position, from sixty-nine to his foot on your face while he fucked your ass from the back. fuck, he'd even let you peg him, something he's always refused to do.
just how good you'd look while sliding your strap-on inside of him, his eyes going wide, as well as your smile at the sight of his pretty face. he thinks you'd like some crazy songs playing in the background, similar to the vibe of playboi carti.
fuck, he'd hold onto your tits for support, comfort, for just the fucks of it no matter who is topping.
"um, excuse me?" you asked when he spaced out in the middle.
"yeah?" he said, looking up from the table where both of your milkshakes resided.
"thank you for the interview. i appreciate it a lot!" you said, smiling at him, completely unaware of the junk he had in his brain about you. you put out your hand for a friendly yet professional handshake.
"oh, yeah, of course." he muttered out, responding to your hand with his that was definitely sweaty.
as you closed your notepad and stopped the recording, he looked up at your face finally.
"can I ask you a question too?"
"oh, yes, of course." you said, looking up at him with a face of genuine curiosity. maybe it would be something like —
"when will this be posted?"
"where can I read it?"
"will there be a hardcopy?"
"would you ever fuck me if you could?"
and suddenly, this was the first time you regretted not recording the aftermath of an interview.
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harmonic-intervention · 4 months ago
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Got a little inspired by Tim saying Buck wasn't spending as much time with Eddie because of his new relationship. Wouldn't leave me alone so enjoy my word vomit.
When Buck woke up, he did so gradually, slowly gaining awareness of the mattress and the frankly unholy amount of pillows under him, of the warmth settled right next to him, of the gentle stroke of a thumb over his lower arm.
Sighing, he moved, stretched like a cat in a sunbeam, and turned over onto his side, rolling right into the source of that pleasant warmth.
He didn't even open his eyes. Instead, he blindly found his way to his destination, burying his nose in the space right under a very nice jaw. He felt the vibration of the resulting chuckle right against his skin.
"Good morning," Tommy mumbled. "Sleep well?"
Buck nodded, but it ended up being more of a nuzzle. "The best."
A large hand found its way into the curls at the back of Buck's head and began gently scratching at his scalp, twirling a curl around a finger, the usual.
Buck finally found the will to move his face away from Tommy's throat and actually open his eyes. The light of the room was dim, the dark curtains keeping most of the sunlight out.
Tommy looked beautiful lying there with his hair all soft and fluffy. To be fair, Buck thought he always looked beautiful, and every time he looked at him, it was as if he became more and more so.
"Morning," Buck finally returned the greeting. He leaned in to steal a chaste kiss, but quickly found he wasn't satisfied with just one.
The same way that Tommy apparently wasn't satisfied with just a couple short ones, as a hand along Buck's jaw kept him close, and when his thumb found its place on the bolt of Buck's jaw, he opened up easily.
They hadn't been dating for all that long, but most of their mornings off were spent like this - in bed, luxuriating in the cozy, intimate atmosphere.
They both had come off of a long shift of not seeing each other, and now had the next 48 hours off together, so Buck had gone to Tommy's place after the end of his shift. He was going to spend the next two days glued to Tommy's side. A crowbar would not be able to pry him off.
Things were heating up steadily, the space between them being reduced down to nothing. Buck's hand started to make its way beneath the sheets to slide down Tommy's torso when he was interrupted by his phone vibrating on the nightstand.
Buck was determined to ignore it - whoever it was could just send him a message and he would get back to them - and sighed his relief right into Tommy's mouth when the call ended. His fingers skirted along the waistline of Tommy's boxers when the vibrating picked back up.
Still on his path of disregarding the existence of the outside world, Buck moved closer to Tommy, slotting a leg between his, and just when he was finally about to stop teasing them both and actually put his hand on Tommy's dick, his phone started acting up again.
Much to his dismay, Tommy moved his mouth away from his. "I think it's important."
Buck grumbled as he turned over to grab his phone, one hand still firmly in place on Tommy's body, "Whoever it is better have life insurance."
He ignored the soft snort that came from his boyfriend in favor of taking a look at his phone screen.
"It's Eddie."
"Better pick up."
Buck might have been ready to just turn his phone off, but Tommy's suggestion was much more reasonable. He nodded and turned back on his other side.
Tommy's eyes flitted down between them. "You gonna take your hand off my dick?"
"No," Buck replied with a wink and accepted the call. "Hey, Eddie."
Tommy shrugged and leaned in, finding something for his mouth to do. Namely go to town on Buck's throat.
"Buck, where are you? I'm at your place and it's empty."
It took a moment for Eddie's words to register, mostly because Buck was distracted by the hint of teeth against his adam's apple. "What- my place? We have a 48 off."
"Yeah, I thought we could hang out. You didn't mention any plans, did you have something?"
He didn't mention any plans because going over to Tommy's place had become the rule, not the exception.
"I'm at Tommy's." Syllables were getting harder to form when most of his brainpower was used to concentrate on hands sliding up and down his back, stopping just shy of his ass every time.
"Oh! Are both of you up, I could come by there, then."
Eddie started talking about something - probably what he had wanted to convince Buck to do with him, something about something, Buck would full-heartedly admit that he was not listening to a single word. Not when his super hot boyfriend was being a tease.
"Listen, man, that sound's great," probably, "but I'm kinda busy at the moment."
"What?"
Tommy chuckled against Buck's jugular, clearly having heard Eddie's confusion through the phone.
Buck was about to say something that would probably traumatize his best friend forever, when seemingly, he connected the dots by himself.
"Oh, ew, Buck! What the fuck?"
"Don't 'what the fuck' me, you wouldn't stop calling!" Buck exclaimed.
This time, Tommy let out an actual laugh, definitely loud enough to be picked up by the phone. Eddie groaned on the other side, sounding very much like he was regretting all of his life choices.
"Listen, we'd love to hang out, but maybe a bit later, yeah? Give us ..." Buck looked down at Tommy and raised an eyebrow, "like, an hour?"
Tommy's reply of, "Two hours," was muffled against Buck's collarbone. He had quickly gone back to ignoring the phone call in favor of biting at the edges of Buck's body.
"Two hours. Then you can come over."
Hands free and mind not pulled in two different directions, Buck immediately buried a hand in Tommy's hair and pulled him off. He narrowed his eyes at the spark of mischief in Tommy's own ones.
After getting Eddie's confirmation and the beginning of him lamenting his life, Buck simply hung up and tossed his phone onto the nightstand, uncaring whether it actually landed there or not.
"Having fun?" he asked with a put upon frown.
Tommy didn't even have the decency to look bothered by the grip that Buck had on his curls. "So far, yes."
Buck hauled him back in into a biting kiss, using the momentum of his own body to turn them over into the pillows.
He ignored the smug grin pressed against his mouth for now. He'd take care of that soon enough.
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shina913 · 8 days ago
Text
A Very Patient Man | LJH
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Pairing: Lee Jihoon x AFAB!Reader
Rating: M 🔞; NSFW
Genre: F2L; FWB; smut; pwp
Warnings: cussing; breast play; fingering; cunnilingus; unprotected sex; PIV sex; riding; ass smacking; dirty talk; creampie
Word count: 4.6k words
Summary: You’re frustrated because it takes you longer to reach an orgasm during sex. This has made you feel insecure, and you started to accept the fact you’d never meet someone patient enough to give you the attention you need. Your friend, Jihoon, casually offers a solution.
A/N: Idk. I slipped and fell onto my keyboard and all this horny word vomit spilled out. Thanks to @roaminginthenights for always enabling me in the DMs 🤣
This is also un-beta'd so...it is what it is.
Anyway! Here’s something filthy to end the year! 💜
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It started innocently enough at Jihoon’s studio. You were sitting on his couch, venting about your dating life, and as always, he listened attentively just as you do when he shares his own experiences.
However, today’s visit was different. He’s letting you ramble on about a very specific topic.
“I feel like there’s an invisible time limit on foreplay.”
Jihoon’s chair creaks as he leans back, laughing at your incredulous claim. “No, there isn’t!”
“But I really think there is!” you argue. “My last date got visibly impatient, even though I...” you inhale through your teeth, “clearly asked him for more time down there. Instead, he just said, ‘It’s been five minutes, it’s my turn now.’” You huff in annoyance.
“Well, that sucks. Did you get rid of him?”
You grimace before replying. “Please don’t judge me. He was cute, so we still fucked. My vibrator finished the job,” you admit guiltily. “I blocked him on the app afterward though.”
He sighs, shaking his head in mild disappointment. “You shouldn’t compromise on your needs. If you want more time, say so and stick with it.”
You huffed wistfully. “I just take too long. I get all panicky when someone’s been down there for longer than 5 minutes.”
“You can’t rush pleasure,” he comments.
“I know that, but now, it makes me think—how long is too long before you come? Is there a play clock winding down on the field? Do I need to call out an audible?”
He doubles over again, laughing when you start using sports metaphors.
“How can some women summon an orgasm—” you snap your fingers, “just like that?”
His laughs subside, turning more serious now. “Don’t do that. Don’t compare yourself to other people. Everybody’s different.”
“Yes, thank you for reminding me,” you remark sarcastically.
He turns away to face his screen, adding more edits to a track he’s working on.
“I don’t know…” you mumble, shrugging in defeat. “I guess my vibrator and I are destined to spend the rest of our lives together. Might as well reserve matching burial plots.”
Jihoon snorts. “You just haven’t found the right partner. A really patient one, I might add,” he says, half-joking.
You smack him on his bicep, and your hand stings from the unexpected firmness under his oversized shirt. Has his arm always been this solid? When was the last time you touched his bicep? Wait—why are you even thinking of his bicep?
You and Jihoon have been close friends since college, maintaining a purely platonic relationship—never a hint of romance or sexual tension between you. On rare nights out, you even act as each other’s wingman, helping one another find potential dates. You two simply click on a different level—easy and no complications.
He looked up from his mixing board, turning to you with a slight smirk. “I don’t know if I’ve ever told you, but I happen to be very patient.”
The lilt in his voice was unmistakable. It was the kind of tone he used when chatting up potential conquests on your nights out.
You let out a short, humorless laugh. “Don’t you dare use that Joey Tribbiani move on me.”
“It’s not a move.” He keeps his face serious, looking genuinely hurt by your comment. “You’re my friend. I wouldn’t do that to you,” he says softly. “I’m just saying, if you ever wanted to try, I’m game.” He tilts his head, giving a casual shrug. “No judgment.”
You stare at him, stunned, as his offer hangs in the air. You try to laugh it off, shifting uncomfortably in your seat.
Was he seriously proposing that you two—nope! You refuse to go there. Jihoon is a great friend, and although you trust him, you’re not sure you’d be comfortable with the idea of...
You shake your head. You can’t even finish the thought. You glance at your watch for no reason at all.
“You know, I think I’m going to call it a night.”
“Oh? I thought you wanted to grab dinner?” He’s surprised and confused at your sudden change of plans.
“It’s getting late.”
Truthfully, it wasn’t that late. You feel guilty lying to your friend, but you need to escape this conversation—and this situation—as quickly as possible.
“I just got a notification from work. I need to come in early, yada-yada…You know how it is.”
He looks disappointed but doesn’t push. You gather your things, slipping your puffer jacket on, despite the room feeling several degrees warmer.
“Alright. If you’re sure—”
“Yeah,” you cut him off. That came out more tersely than you initially intended. “I’m sure,” you add with a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes to try and make up for it.
He rises from his seat when you do and moves in for a hug—just like he usually does. But this time, the hug feels different; you’re suddenly hyperaware of his touch, your skin tingling all over. You return his hug stiffly, without your usual warmth, then hurry out of his studio and immediately tear off your too-hot jacket.
That night, your dreams were filled with visions—his hands tracing paths across your skin, his dark head dipping between your thighs, his intense gaze meeting yours as you hovered on the edge of unbridled pleasure. The dream felt so vivid you could have sworn you felt the warmth of his breath against your skin. It wasn’t until your alarm began blaring, leaving you trembling and drenched in sweat, that reality came crashing back.
********************************************
A couple of days passed, and you couldn’t stop thinking about Jihoon. This wasn’t your usual “hope he remembered to eat lunch” thoughts or impulse to send him funny memes that popped up on your algorithm.
After your NSFW dream about him, you started noticing little things about him you’d never paid attention to before—the adorable way he’d scrunch up his nose while concentrating on work, how his muscles moved when he reached for something, or how the warm red studio lights perfectly highlighted his features.
You shake your head. It’s not that deep. Jihoon’s suggestion was only practical. There’s no reason to go down this rabbit hole.
Still, you can’t deny the growing curiosity gnawing at the back of your mind. You hadn’t expected his offer to affect you this way, but it does.
After days of avoiding him, you decide to invite him to dinner at your place. Maybe if you discussed this with him, the dreams and inappropriate thoughts would stop.
The moment he walks through your door, everything falls apart. You become hyper-aware of his every move. You catch yourself stealing glances when you think he isn’t looking, and you flinch whenever he gets too close.
Finally, he’s had enough.
“Okay,” he says firmly. “What’s with you? Why are you being weird?”
“I’m not being weird,” you lie, your heart racing. You reach for your drink and take a hefty gulp.
“Have I said or done something? You’ve flaked on me the last couple of times I asked you to go out, you’ve left me on ‘read’ more than you’ve responded...”
You felt guilty for avoiding him, but you needed that space to sort out your thoughts. Though you wanted to have this conversation, you couldn’t find the right moment to broach the topic.
“Then you invite me over, barely talk—” he continues to rant.
“It’s... it’s really more of a me-problem,” you stammer.
“Just talk to me! I can take it.” He throws his hands up in frustration.
You inwardly groan, before finally coming clean. “Remember the last time we were at your studio? I was whining about...something.”
He squinted for a bit, then you could see the recognition slowly dawning in his eyes before lowering his voice. “You mean, how you take a long time to reach an orgasm?”
You shut your eyes, mortified when he articulates it. “Yes…”
“What about it?”
“It’s not exactly about that, but it’s more about what you said after. You know—your offer to help?”
His face visibly relaxes, prompting you to continue. “Okay.”
Your heart feels like it’s about to beat out of your chest, but you push through. “Did you mean it, or were you just messing with me?”
He stares at you for a moment before shaking his head, the corner of his lips quirking up. “The offer still stands, if you want it.”
You sit there chewing the inside of your cheek, feeling torn. Your brain tells you to be careful—fucking your best friend could make things weird. But your body has other ideas. The warmth pooling between your legs makes it harder to think straight.
“Are you considering it?” His voice is gentle, giving you space to choose.
You deflect, buying time to sort through your tumbling thoughts. “I’m curious... have you thought about this before? About us?”
“The idea has crossed my mind from time to time.”
His candor sends butterflies fluttering in your stomach. “Oh,” is all you can manage to say.
“What about you? Have you thought about us...doing things?”
You draw in a shaky breath, forcing yourself to be equally honest. “I never thought of us that way before you mentioned it. But now...” you trail off, unable to verbalize how his suggestion has shifted something between you.
He inches closer, but maintains enough distance to keep you comfortable. His expression grows serious, earnest. “Listen, I would never pressure you into doing anything you don’t want to. You’re one of my best friends, and that matters more to me than anything else. If I’m out of line, just say the word and we won’t talk about it ever again.” The sincerity in his voice, the genuine concern in his eyes makes your heart ache. You’ve always known him to be considerate of your feelings.
“You weren’t out of line.” Hearing you say this was a huge relief to him. “But you can’t really un-ring that bell,” you add wryly.
You also couldn’t get past an earlier comment he made. “So…you’ve thought about us before?”
He takes a moment before answering. “Yeah. I mean, you’re beautiful. Who wouldn’t want you?”
Your cheeks flush at his compliment.
Your best friend has always had this effortless way about him—you’ve seen firsthand how easily he charms people during your nights out together.
Your resolve crumbles, and honestly, you’re tired of fighting it. “How are you so chill about all this?”
He laughs. “It’s sex, not rocket science.”
You groan, burying your face in your hands. “Things won’t get weird afterward, will they?”
“Afterward? So...you’re saying you want to have sex? With me?” His eyebrows raise slightly.
You already knew the answer to that question the moment you asked him to come over. “I guess I do,” you say softly with a nervous smile, “for science?”
His sexy, throaty laugh echoes through the room.
********
You sit nervously on your couch facing each other. Since this is completely new territory for both of you, you know you need to take things slow and make sure you’re both comfortable. Gathering up the courage to agree to this experiment is the easy part, but actually getting into it?
“Just to be clear—this is a one-time thing, right?”
“Of course,” he confirms. “This is purely for educational purposes. And your pleasure.”
You scrunch your nose in protest. “That doesn’t seem like a fair exchange.” The idea of him seeing this as one-sided doesn’t sit right with you. “Shouldn’t this be mutually beneficial?”
“I never said I had to get something out of this. You want to experience an orgasm from foreplay alone, without mechanical assistance, right?”
You nod.
“Okay. So, let me focus on making that happen for you. You don’t need to think about anything else.”
You didn’t want to be selfish, but his offer was difficult to refuse.
“This is about you, not me,” he insists. His decision is firm and he wasn’t budging.
“Okay,” you relent. Fidgeting nervously with the hem of your shirt, you take in a deep breath and release it before muttering, “How should we do this...”
When Jihoon doesn’t immediately offer any suggestions, you think of the most natural way to start.
“Maybe we could start with kissing?”
“Right, good idea.” His voice wavers slightly, betraying that he’s just as nervous as you are despite his attempts to stay composed. Oddly, this puts you at ease—knowing you’re both on the same page, figuring this out as you go.
You both move in closer together, and time seems to slow as he leans in. Your eyes flutter shut, then his lips meet yours. They’re exactly as you’d imagined—soft, warm, and unexpectedly gentle. The kiss starts tentatively, but as your lips find their rhythm, everything feels natural.
When you break apart for a moment, you can’t help but smile. “You’re a good kisser.” You barely finish the sentence before being drawn back to his lips.
“You’re not so bad yourself,” he hums, and you can feel his smile against your lips as you both laugh, the sounds melting into your kisses.
Your kisses grow more intense, your mouth sucking on his top lip while his tongue traces delicately along yours, building a warmth that spreads through your entire body. You fist at his shirt, bunching the fabric between your knuckles, while his hand cradles your neck, his thumb gently stroking along your pulse point.
Gradually, his kisses move from your lips, following a path along the curve of your jawline, down to the slope of your neck. You can’t help but giggle at the sensation.
He instantly pulls back, a worried look on his face. “Sorry, are you not into that?”
“No, no—I mean—Yes, I am into it. I’m just a little bit ticklish there, that’s all,” you explain.
“Oh... okay. Do you want to keep going?”
You nod, and as he leans in for another kiss but pauses when you place a hand on his chest. “You know, I didn’t think I’d enjoy this because we’ve been friends for so long, but I have to admit that I like it.”
“Yeah?” A smirk plays across his lips. “Tell me what else you like.” He nips at your jawline. “Or show me.”
Desire spreads through you like wildfire. This was the point of no return. You take his hands and guide them under your shirt until they cup your breasts.
“What do you want me to do?” He murmurs through your lips.
“Play with them.”
His lips capture yours again as he squeezes your breast gently.
He eases you down onto the couch, his lips trailing from yours down your neck to your sternum. When he lifts your shirt to your chest, you feel constrained and pull it off completely, tossing it aside. He follows your lead, removing his own shirt.
His skilled fingers unhook your bra and takes a nipple into his mouth while his thumb teases the other, drawing a sharp breath from you.
You run your fingers through his hair as his kisses trace down your stomach, making your back arch at the sensation against your skin.
His hands glide down your sides until they reach your jeans, where he carefully undoes the button. You hook your fingers into your waistband and start pushing your bottoms down. He helps slide them off, his touch remaining gentle but with a hint of urgency as he pulls the fabric from your legs. As the last piece of clothing falls away, the cool air against your newly exposed skin makes you shiver.
One of his hands pushed between your legs, making them fall open shamelessly. His other hand continued to massage your breasts, making them unbearably sensitive. You can’t believe how slick you’d gotten in a short span of time. To think he hadn’t done much to you yet, apart from kissing you and squeezing your tits.
His gaze traveled down your body, lingering where his fingertips teased your sensitive folds. His feather-light touches made your inner walls clench with need. This only heightened your arousal, making you squirm beneath him, silently begging for more.
He slid one finger carefully into you. Your eyes closed against the unbearable vulnerability of being spread out naked and fingered by your friend, kneeling on the floor beside you. “Don’t think…just feel.” You keened as Jihoon pulled out and thrust gently back into you with two fingers. You couldn’t hold back a moan.
It’s probably been a few minutes now, you’re not sure as you’ve completely lost track of time. You blink furiously in a mild panic and stare down at him, still leisurely finger-fucking you. What he was doing felt so good, but you weren’t even halfway to your peak yet. By this point, other partners would be coming up for air, wanting you to return the favor or just ready to stick their cock in to get their fill.
“Relax...” he cooed, pressing a kiss against your inner thigh. Each deliberate dip and languid curl of his skilled fingers inside you made you wetter, gradually coaxing your muscles to yield. “It’s not a race,” he reassured you softly, his voice thick with desire. “I’ll keep going until you come.”
His words of encouragement sent waves of arousal coursing through you, making your breath catch in your throat.
“Kiss me,” you choked out, needing to feel his lips against yours. Without hesitation, he obliged, sealing his mouth over yours in a deep kiss that made you dizzy.
Your fingers clutched desperately at the edges of your cushions, knuckles turning white from your grip as you felt that familiar sensation between your legs. “Right there. Don’t stop,” you gasped between heavy breaths, your hips bucking against his steadily thrusting fingers. The pleasure was building to an unbearable level, making you feel like you might shatter to pieces if he didn’t push you over the edge soon.
He continued to whisper the filthiest things—words you’d never heard him say to you. They revealed previously unspoken fantasies that ignited your body and overwhelmed your senses. A fleeting thought crossed your mind, wondering if this was his usual bedroom talk. But that thought slipped away as his words and actions consumed you completely. Before you realized it, you were peaking.
“I want to see what you look like when you come,” he purred. “Do you look as pretty as you do right now?” Everything tightened in your core while he kept up his ministrations in a steady, unhurried rhythm.
“Oh fuck, I’m coming…”
“Don’t hold back. Let me hear you,” he urged.
You let out a strangled cry, your mind far beyond the depths of euphoria to care about being quiet or demure about this. He was mesmerized, unable to look away at the sheer pleasure that washed over you. Before you could even process what just happened, he’d already hooked your leg over the back of the couch and covered your cleft with his mouth.
He stroked your clit with his tongue, fluttering over it, building your hunger back up again. He teased your slick folds, taunting you with the promise of another orgasm—something you thought impossible to achieve so soon, yet your body responded eagerly. When his fingers pushed inside you at the same time, you had to bite your lip to stifle a scream.
You came again, your thighs trembling, tender muscles pulsing around his touch. His growl vibrated through you. You didn’t have the strength to push him away when he returned to your clit and sucked softly…tirelessly…but now you wanted more. You needed to feel him.
You manage to sit up and squeeze his shoulder to get his attention. He peers up at you from between your thighs.
“I want you to fuck me.”
“Already?” He smiles, teasing you with painfully slow strokes of his fingers. “Pretty sure I can get another one out of you,” he says cockily.
“Lee Jihoon—I. Am asking you. To fuck. Me,” you punctuated. “Will you do it or not?”
He sits up, turning sheepish all of a sudden. “I, uhm…didn’t expect us to be doing this, so I didn’t bring any condoms.”
It’s not like he was some random guy. Although you appreciated his caution, you just wanted him inside you. “I trust you,” you tell him before pressing a kiss to him.
After he settles on the couch, you shift unsteadily to straddle his hips, pressing your bodies together. Reaching between you, you fumble with his jeans until he helps, lifting his hips in a fluid motion to pull them down just enough to free himself. Bracing yourself, you let him guide you as you slowly sink down onto him. Your lips part with an involuntary sigh that turns into a soft moan as he fills you completely, stretching you in the most delicious way.
When you begin to roll your hips, the friction sends sparks of pleasure through your core.
“Fuck, your pussy feels good,” he breathes out roughly, his fingers digging into your hips before worry suddenly crosses his face. His cheeks flush as he stammers, “S-sorry, I didn’t mean to say that out loud.”
You giggle at his compliment, causing your muscles to clamp around his length. “I’m not mad at it,” you reassure him. “You make me feel really good, too.”
“Yeah?” His brow quirks. “You like when I fuck you?”
“Yes,” you moan, dipping your head to his lips in another kiss as you find your rhythm together.
His hands roam your back, pulling you closer as you rock against him with increasing urgency. Before this, you’ve resigned yourself to never experiencing an orgasm from penetrative sex, and yet here was another brewing and there was nothing you could do but let it happen.
You gasp as his hand makes sudden contact with your ass, the unexpected sting making you freeze in place. You stare at him dumbfounded.
“What are you going to do about it?” he challenges. Before you can answer, his hand comes down again with another firm smack that rings through the room. “What?” The sound of provocation in his voice makes your pulse quicken.
You hover over him, eyes narrowing as you lean closer. Through gritted teeth, your voice emerges as a heated whisper. “Harder.”
“I thought so.” He smiles slyly before your lips crash in a fierce kiss that leaves you both breathless.
With a firm grip, he holds your hips still as he thrusts into you with deliberate, measured strokes. You clutch at him, the rhythmic sounds of skin slapping against skin filling the room. Jihoon buries his face between your breasts, his rough groans reverberating against your flesh.
You whine helplessly, overwhelmed by the building pressure as the familiar coil of tension in your belly winds impossibly tight. Your thighs burn as you teeter on the edge of release.
“Yes...d-don’t...stop...hm...so close,” you pant.
He slows his movements to an agonizing pace, drawing out each thrust to drive you insane. He pulls out completely before sinking back into you with one deep thrust that makes you see stars. Your jaw drops, unintelligible sounds tumbling out your mouth as you come hard.
You hold onto him for dear life, your nails leaving a trail of crescent marks on his skin as he picks up the pace once again, his own rhythm becoming more erratic as he chases his own orgasm. A deep groan rumbles from his chest as your walls pulse and clench around him.
“I’m close,” he warns, his usually calm and collected face now twisted with agonizing need.
“Don’t pull out,” you manage to choke out between strained, ragged breaths.
“You…s-sure…?”
You nod eagerly. With your permission, he thrusts deeper and harder, making your neck loll in ecstasy. He draws you back into a rough, hungry kiss that muffles your shared moans as he reaches the end of his rope, his hips jerking against yours while he spurts inside.
Pressing your sweat-slicked forehead against his, you wait for your heart rate to return to normal. There’s no doubt in your mind—no previous partner could compare to Jihoon.
“Oh my fucking god,” you sigh. “We’ve been missing out all this time.”
He laughs softly, pressing a tender kiss to your lips. “It was worth the wait though!”
********
After a quick shower and a necessary trip to the pharmacy down the block, you and Jihoon return to your apartment with bags of late-night snacks. All that sexual activity had certainly worked up an appetite, and you found yourself craving something sweet. An ice cream waffle cone hit the spot for you.
“Are you okay?”
You smile, endeared at his worrying. “You know, you’ve asked me that same question multiple times now, and I’ll keep giving you the same answer—I’m fine. Great, actually!”
“I know, I know,” he responds sheepishly. “I just hope this doesn’t make things awkward between us.”
“Trust me, I don’t feel awkward about any of this at all,” you respond with complete sincerity before facing him to find out if he felt the same way you did. “Do you?”
He shakes his head, tilting the bag of Skittles into his mouth. “Nope,” he answers between chews. “To be honest, I thought that was fucking mind-blowing!”
You inhale sharply at his candid comment, nodding in agreement. “Same. Absolutely no complaints from me!”
He gets up from the couch, takes out a small box from the shopping bag to set it aside, and stuffs your discarded candy wrappers into it before heading to the kitchen to throw them away.
When he returns from the kitchen, your eyes linger on him. “Thanks, Jihoonie,” you whisper. “For…everything.”
“You’re welcome,” he replies with a wink before sinking back into the couch beside you.
This turned out to be the complete opposite of your initial fears. Not only did this one-off experiment exceed all your expectations, but it seems your friendship remained the same. Though you never would have guessed that your best friend would end up giving you the best orgasms of your life.
As you continue to enjoy your treat, you notice Jihoon’s eyes fixed on your tongue as it swirls around the chocolate ice cream. His dark eyes watching you with the same intensity as when you came undone with his touch earlier.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
You arched an eyebrow at him. “Quit staring at me like that,” you cautioned, though your tone suggested otherwise.
“Then don’t ever eat an ice cream cone in front of me,” he responds with a chuckle as he subtly adjusts himself beneath his pants.
You bite your lip, feeling a warmth between your legs again. “You know...” you clear your throat, reaching for the box of condoms he left on the coffee table, “I wonder if these things really live up to the ‘raw’ feel.”
He clicks his teeth dismissively before responding. “I think it’s false advertising.”
“You think so?”
He takes the box from you, examining the label. “I mean, we do have a perfect point of comparison,” he reasons, a smile ghosting his lips. “Should we find out?”
You stare at each other for a moment before breaking into grins and exclaiming in unison, “For science!”
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saetoru · 1 year ago
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✩ ‧₊˚ ✩ STRAWBERRY FLAVORED — GETO SUGURU.
contents. here is a lil prequel to this btw, basically this is suguru’s shower scene but if he actually had someone to take care of him, reverse comfort, aka my extremely self indulgent drabble of fixing suguru before he turns into a mass murderer <3
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it’s been a while—suguru has been in that shower for long enough that you’re starting to grow concerned. you contemplate for a bit, whether it’s a good idea or not to enter the boys shower, weighing the possibilities of being caught.
satoru’s not here, you reason, nanami and haibara are gone too, and yaga shouldn’t notice either—so, with a heavy sigh, you walk up to the door, opening it slowly. you can see him, standing as the water pours over his body, not even moving a little when you enter.
suguru is not the same—not after everything that’s happened. you can tell, you can see it under his eyes from the lack of sleep, you can see it in his cheekbones as they show a bit more from the lost weight, you can see it in the stiffness of his body when you’re around him. he’s not the same, and no one’s seem to have noticed, but you have. you always have.
you slowly strip from your clothing, walking up to him quietly until your arms circle his waist and your cheek rests against his bare back.
“baby,” you hum, “you’re turning into a prune. look at your skin,” you grab his hand, running a thumb over the tips of his fingers, wrinkly from the water.
he gives you an empty chuckle—you don’t think you’ve heard a real laugh from suguru since that day. “but aren’t i a handsome prune?” he mumbles.
“of course,” you kiss his shoulder, “the handsomest.”
“that’s a relief,” he says playfully—there’s nothing playful about his tone, though. it’s numb, automatic, like he’s trained himself to respond to you the way he always does. but you can feel it. he’s not the same.
“you’ve been in here a while. i got tired of waiting.”
“sorry,” he drops his hand from yours, falling limply to his side, “lost track of time, i guess.”
“suguru,” you say softly, “what’s wrong?”
he’s quiet, probably contemplating his answer. no one else might’ve noticed, but you have. you always do—he knows you always will. finally, he decides to answer, “are you really asking me that?”
“yes,” you say firmly, “i want to hear it. i want you to hear it. stop pushing it down.”
“i’m fine,” he mutters, “just tired.”
“i know,” you say softly, “i know you’re tired. what’s got you so tired?”
gently, your arms twist his body—he doesn’t put up a fight, just spins to face you until his face is digging into your neck on instinct. he can smell your body wash, can inhale the familiar scent of you from here. there are no curses to consume and no people to save at the risk of himself here, just the soft feeling of your skin and the warm press of your lips on his head.
riko would’ve liked you, he thinks. he can’t help it.
for a fleeting moment, when his hand was outstretched to her, he’d wondered if you’d like her too. he’d decided you would—you’re kind, you always have enough love for one more person. you’ll like riko, he’d thought. and then just like that, she’d been on the floor, dark pool of blood under her head.
you never got to meet her, and he never got to introduce you.
“what’s wrong, sugu?” you ask again, voice more delicate this time.
“everything,” he whispers.
he’s tired, so incredibly tired. suguru is exhausted. so for today, he’ll let you pick up the pieces. he doesn’t want to worry about you right now, doesn’t want to think about whether or not the edges will be sharp enough to slice your fingertips. suguru is exhausted—so for once, he lets you worry about him instead.
“i see,” you nod, letting your fingers trail to his head, stroking the wet strands gently as he trembles against your body, “everything is a lot. let’s start with just one, yeah?”
“i hate the taste of curses,” he spits, “it tastes like vomit.”
“that’s no good,” you agree, and then you’re pulling his head out of your neck—he wants to protest, wants to stay right where he is so he doesn’t have to face you, or anything. but you’re insistent, gentle as you are firm, cupping his cheeks as you force him to look at you. “can you still taste it?”
“yeah,” he nods. it’s true, he can’t forget the taste even if he tries. it’s like a phantom pain—but it resides on his tongue, haunting him long after it’s gone, even as he breathes and swallows and talks. “i hate it.”
your lips are on his after that, soft and sweet against his mouth. he can taste the strawberry of your chapstick, the familiar taste of you that he also could never forget. it washes down the vile taste of curses easily, so he leans in for more. and more. and more. he needs more.
“what about that?” you ask, stroking his cheek when you pull away, “how does that taste?”
“good,” he says shakily, “i…i like that.”
“i know you do,” you smile, pecking the corner of his mouth, “i can’t change how curses taste. but if i could, i’d make them strawberry flavored for you.”
he chuckles at that—it’s small, but it’s real. for the first time in a long time. it’s real.
suguru hates how curses taste, and you can’t change that, but you can help make swallowing become easier. he’ll take it—he’ll take anything you give.
“that might make the job easier,” he says, burying his face back into your neck, “they’d taste like you.”
“i’ll kiss you then,” you stroke his hair, pressing a soft kiss to the side of his head. his lips wobble, vision turning blurry. suguru is tired—he doesn’t want to hold it in anymore. “after every curse you swallow, i’ll kiss you. it’ll make it easier.”
“i don’t know if it will,” he admits, “this….what do we do it for? none of it is easy.”
he used to think it was. fighting curses was easy—satoru and him were the strongest. fighting curses was like stepping on ants as they walk on the concrete, crushing them before they can bite anyone. but he starts to wonder if people deserve to be bitten, if the people who kick at ant piles mindlessly for fun deserve to be saved from themselves.
you think for a bit, contemplating his question as the water runs over both of your bodies, slipping into the thin crevices between your skin and his.
“it’s not,” you agree, “it’s not easy. i would’ve loved to meet riko. i know you wanted me to. i’m sorry, suguru.”
somewhere along with the water on your shoulder mixes his tears, and his body shakes against yours. suguru is tired. he’s tired of swallowing curses and tasting bile. he’s tired of pretending the weak are innocent. he’s tired of carrying so much weight on his young, innocent shoulders. they deserve to be free.
“is it worth saving them?” he asks as he sniffles, “if they clap over people like us dying?”
“people like us aren’t always so different,” you point out.
people like us don’t need saving, he wants to argue—but you don’t give him a chance to, turning the water off behind him as you stand there holding him as he leans into you.
“there will always be someone who needs to be saved,” you murmur, “and there will always be something they need to be saved from. it’s not always as simple as curses and exorcisms, though.”
“that doesn’t make any sense,” he frowns, “that’s the whole point of jujutsu. to exorcise curses.”
“and if we exorcised them all? would that make everyone safe?”
“maybe not,” he furrows his eyebrows, “but at least we wouldn’t be dying for them.”
“you never know,” you reach for the towel, slowly pulling away and patting his skin gently as you dry his dripping skin, “maybe you’d die from something worse.”
“what could be worse?” he asks bitterly. he doesn’t understand. but you smile, pressing a kiss to his jaw as you brush his bangs from his face.
“i don’t know,” you shrug, “but i’m sure there’s something. there’s always something worse. but there’s always something better too.”
he still doesn’t completely understand. but the weight on his shoulder doesn’t feel as heavy when you lean and kiss it again—he feels like at least some of his youth is still his, still yours.
“you make no sense,” he grunts, scowling when you ruffle his hair obnoxiously with a giggle.
“well, maybe you’ll make sense of things after a nap,” you poke his chest accusingly, “you really need one. and then you’ll eat something. c’mon.”
“i don’t sleep with wet hair,” he reminds you as you tug him along, stopping where his clothes hang. you gesture at him to hold his arms up, grabbing his shirt. he rolls his eyes and indulges you, letting you dress him.
“i’ll dry it for you,” you chuckle, “my sugu is so high maintenance.”
and then, before you can turn to grab your own clothes, he tugs your wrist and pulls you in, kissing you hard, kissing you hungrily, kissing you like you’re all he has. just because he can. he can taste the last bits of your chapstick—he wants to keep tasting it forever. it’s strawberry, his favorite.
“i like strawberries,” he presses his forehead to yours, closing his eyes, “so don’t change the flavor.”
“okay,” you grin, cupping his cheeks, “i’ll always get strawberry for my sugu.”
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he just needed a few kissies and he would’ve been fine. i guess i’ll take one for the team and kiss him a few times 😔 i guess i can take the responsibility of loving him 😔 i’ll be fine guys no need to worry about me 😔
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darkmatilda · 1 month ago
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Heyhey, so I got this idea stuck in my head today, since I got such a bad hangover. I know tmi, but I was best friends with my toilet. The only thing helping me get through this mess was imagining Spencer infodumping facts and taking care of me…like holding my hair, making tea and cuddles.
So that’s basically my request. Basically reader drank too much on girls night and it’s the next day filled with regret and misery.
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𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬' 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐝 | 𝐬.𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: the fun at your friend's bachelorette party ends by the toilet with a headache, but when you have such a wonderful boyfriend, even the worst hangover doesn't scare you.
𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬/𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐰: spencer reid x femreader, established relationship, fluff, hungover, alcohol consumption, spancer takes care of you. 𝐚/𝐧: this is one of the requests i got from you lately, it's really different from my other fics (i don't really write so fluffy and comfy things...) but i just hope you'll like it and that you feel better now :>
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 1.4
“So? Did you have fun with the girls?”
You answered the question, laced with irony, with a faint groan, resting your cheek on the cold toilet seat. You didn’t even have the strength to turn toward your boyfriend, Spencer, who was likely leaning against the bathroom doorway with a look that screamed a classic I told you so.
Because he had told you. Before you left, after he’d finished marveling at how stunning you looked in the dress you’d chosen for the evening, he’d turned serious for a moment. He’d reminded you to be careful, stick close to the girls, watch your drink, and not overdo it with the alcohol. You’d joked that he sounded like your parent, but deep down, you knew it came from how much he cared about you. You never wanted to make him worry. That’s why you approached alcohol that evening with extreme caution, sipping one drink slowly over the course of half the night.
That was until Penelope raised her glass with a jubilant cheer—To our wonderful bride-to-be!—while pulling JJ into a tight embrace.
Prentiss joined the toast, and then you did too. Together, you made your way to the dance floor, and the rest of the night became a blur of shifting club lights, the thrum of music vibrating through every cell of your body, and laughter—so much laughter, endless laughter.
And now, thanks to that laughter—and your wildly misplaced confidence in your alcohol tolerance—you were spending the morning getting intimately acquainted with the toilet, swearing to never touch tequila again, and occasionally cursing Penelope’s enthusiasm.
“I had an absolutely splendid time,” you scoffed, and with that gesture, a sharp pain spread through your head. You sighed again, squeezing your eyes shut tightly. “Doesn’t it show?”
Then, another wave of nausea hit, forcing you to bury your head in the toilet.
The sound of vomiting drowned out the noise of him approaching, and you were startled to feel him crouching beside you, pulling your hair away from your neck and face, protecting it from getting dirty.
“Oh, sweetheart, the next few hours are going to be brutal for you,” he remarked, shaking his head and continuing to toy with your hair, gathering it into a makeshift ponytail with his hands instead of a hair tie.
“I’ve got one,” you mumbled weakly, raising your wrist to show the hair tie wrapped around it.
“No need, I’ve got it,” he replied.
“You don’t have to, it’s disgusting,” you said, suddenly embarrassed that he’d found you in such a state.
“Homo sum, humani nihil a me alienum puto,” he quoted, placing one hand gently on your back and stroking it soothingly. You focused on that fluid motion, closing your eyes again and hoping this was the last wave of nausea. “Besides, have you already forgotten I’m a criminal profiler? I see things a hundred thousand times worse than this over breakfast.”
You couldn’t help yourself and let out a short laugh.
“I think that’s it,” you said, gathering your strength to push yourself up onto your knees and finally move away from the toilet. “I hope that’s it.”
“Take it slow,” he advised, quickly standing up first to help you get up. “Alright? Do you feel at least one-tenth of a single percent better?”
“No, baby. I asked my stomach, and it said we actually feel about two-tenths of…something better.”
“Your sarcasm is back, so I’ll take that as a yes.”
“Guess what else came back?” you asked, causing him to nod questioningly. “I don’t know either. I’m too exhausted to even come up with a sensible joke. I just want to lie down and sleep… Oh, or take a bath… Or lie down in the bath…”
“You know, that’s dangerous? Bathtub drownings are more common than you might think. From ten to fifteen percent of all drownings in the United States.”
“I’m ready to take that risk.”
“Well, in that case, someone will have to keep an eye on you.”
As soon as you found yourself almost completely submerged in the water, you sighed in relief. Every muscle in your body ached from the fun at the bachelorette party, especially your calves, exhausted from walking all night in heels. The warmth was soothing. Spencer, though he offered to stay with you, had disappeared for a moment outside the bathroom. With every flutter of your eyelids, you felt a sensation like a rollercoaster ride, spinning at a dizzying speed around its own axis. Each such ride resulted in a wave of nausea, so you refrained from falling asleep and waited for your boyfriend to return.
After a minute or two, he appeared in the doorway with a glass of water.
“You need to drink this,” he said, handing you the cold glass. “Alcohol causes dehydration, which is the main cause of your headache and fatigue. Plus, it flushes out all the toxins. It’s the best thing you can do for a hangover.”
He placed a tiny stool, which was in your bathroom, next to the bathtub and sat down on it. With a foamy hand, you took the glass from him.
“You know what else is good for a hangover?” you asked. “Cold beer.”
“Absolutely not.”
“Well, it was worth a try.” 
For a moment, you both sat in silence, his hand absentmindedly grazing the water, and his chin resting on the edge of the bathtub.
“And now, seriously, how was the bachelorette party? Did you have fun? Did JJ like it?”
“She was surprised we even planned something for her. Though Penelope almost spilled the beans at least twenty times. I had an amazing time, especially when one guy tried to hit on me by saying he worked for the FBI.”
Spencer’s eyebrows shot up in amusement.
“Did he work there?”
“Oh, come on. Anyone who brags about working for the FBI at a club probably doesn’t. “And I already have one handsome agent at home, why would I need another?” you asked, causing him to smile. At the sight, you couldn’t help yourself and wrapped your foam-covered arm around his neck, soaking half of his sweater, just to plant a strong kiss on his cheek. “Not just handsome, but the sweetest and most caring one in the world. What would I do without you?”
He didn’t seem to mind the wet clothes at all, tilting his head to the side and narrowing his eyes with contentment at your words.
“Probably drowned in the bathtub.”
“And also the king of comedy. Okay, the water is already cold, and my fingers are all wrinkled. Could you pass me a towel?” you asked. “And since you’re being so kind, maybe also, I don’t know, lie down with me in bed? Cuddling is good for a hangover too. I read an article about it recently.”
“Really?” he pretended to be surprised, theatrically scratching his chin. He sighed. “Well, if the article says so, I guess we have to do it.”
Okay, maybe your head didn’t stop hurting instantly and the hangover didn’t vanish with a flick of a magic wand, but you felt incomparably better once you were in his arms, resting your head on his warm chest.
“I don’t feel sleepy. Would you like to tell me something?” you asked, lifting your gaze slightly to look at his face.
He seemed almost surprised by the request, but quickly recovered and nodded eagerly.
“Of course. If that’s what you need. What would you like to hear about?”
You shrugged, adjusting your position.
“It could be anything. I just love the sound of your voice.”
You could feel his chest rise in a sigh.
“Alright,” he agreed, his whisper pleasantly tickling the top of your head. “How about...”
You weren’t lying when you said you loved his voice. Though sometimes you apologized for him talking too much, you always encouraged him to do so. You listened to every story, every tidbit, with the same pleasure. Especially when he lowered his tone in such a tender way that it seemed to wrap the air around you both.
And even though you hadn’t felt sleepy from the start, you didn’t even catch the moment when Morpheus invited you to meet him.
taglist: @she-wont-miss @nightfullofparadox @mggslover @kakamixoxo @nyeddleblog @dylanobrienswife0420
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ddejavvu · 5 months ago
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How about Tyler Owen's x scaredy cat where he catches her spraying his cologne on his pillows and one of his shirts because sometimes it's really hard to sleep without him next to her.
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Pillow Talk - Tyler Owens x Reader
come participate in tyler owens night !
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You'd hoped that the cologne in the air would dissipate by the time Tyler returned from loading up the car. He'd left only his toiletry bag behind, which had worked perfectly seeing as his cologne was tucked gently inside for you to scavenge for. You only used a few sprays, but they're strong and the scent is still thick and heavy in the air when he returns to collect his last few items.
"The wind's startin' up out there," He grins, thrilled that his current target is only a few hours' drive instead of across states, "I think this one's gonna be at least-" His nose wrinkles, and despite nodding coyly throughout his speech, he sees through your attempts to be nonchalant.
"'S that my cologne, darlin'?"
You cock your head to the side but he doesn't drop it, "I didn't bother puttin' any on today; don't need to smell good for Boone. Did you spray it, sweet thing?"
Your tongue wants to lie but your brain doesn't supply anything fast enough, so you're left with an awkward silence before conceding and nodding sheepishly.
"I didn't- I wasn't trying to waste it, I- I know it's expensive, but I just- it's for your pillow, because I, well, sometimes it's really hard for me to sleep when you're gone so I thought that maybe if your pillow smelled like your cologne then I could hug it and it wouldn't be so hard for me to fall asleep."
Tyler does an excellent job of listening along despite the second half of your ramblings being strung together into one almighty word-vomit. You cut him some slack when it takes him a moment to process, but he's surging forwards in no time, hurriedly but gently gathering you into his arms and tucking you snugly into his chest.
"Oh, darlin'." He murmurs, voice a hair thicker than normal as his large hand cups the back of your head and presses your face further into his chest. If he hadn't been hugging you you'd have assumed the worst of his silence, but you hear a deep inhale before he pulls away from the hug and takes you by the shoulders instead.
"Angel baby, don't do that to me," He pleads weakly, eyes red-rimmed and voice shaking, "Y'can't- y'can't go around tellin' me you've got trouble sleepin when I'm not here, that- that just makes me sad."
"Don't be sad," You hum, tears pricking at your own eyes at the sight of his, "It's- I just got used to being with you, that's all. I'll just take melatonin, or- or I'll lay off the coffee after lunch, or-"
"No, just-" He sniffles, aggressive like he's angry at his nose for running, groaning and squeezing your shoulders, "Use my cologne, baby, and I'll leave you one of my sweatshirts, and when you start gettin' sleepy tonight, you call me and I'll tell you all about Boone and Lily and Dani and Dexter, and- and all the crazy shit they say, and it'll be just like we're in bed together and I'm talkin' your ear off."
He finishes with a wobbly smile, one that's perfectly mirrored on your own face as you let out a soft, gentle sob. He's eager to pull you back into his arms and his large hands rub soothingly up and down your back.
"There we go, that's it," He croons, squeezing you tightly while you sniffle into his chest, "Poor baby, I'll be back soon. Shouldn't be longer than a day. I- I might even make it back tonight, who knows?"
"Don't rush," You mumble pitifully into his chest, "I don't want you driving all night through with no sleep, especially after a tornado. Just- just get home safe, okay? Not quick."
"Alright. Alright," He agrees, stroking once more down your back, "I won't drive through, but," He pulls away once more to stare down his nose at you, a stern expression on his face that typically isn't there when he's gazing at you. His hands hold your face in place, locking you into his scrutiny, "You can't stop me from calling you from the motel and talking you to sleep."
"Okay," You laugh, a thick, wet, pathetic sound that's mottled with the remnants of tears that Tyler wipes off of your cheeks, "Maybe- maybe around ten tonight?"
"It's a date," He grins, his hands gently shifting your face upwards so that he can crane down and kiss you, "What should I wear?"
"Something real sexy," You muse, barely able to fight a grin off of your face, "Maybe a thong?"
"I don't think Dexter would appreciate that, darlin'." Tyler laughs, your shared tears long forgotten, "If we're gettin' a motel tonight it's our turn to room together."
You bask in Tyler's laughter until it fades, the way he's still holding you close to his chest producing the same contentment. Finally you hum, "Thanks for letting me use your cologne, baby."
"Anytime." He vows, pecking a kiss against your forehead, "Don't be shy now, askin' for stuff like that. I'll do whatever I can to help you, darlin'."
You find yourself unable to speak, too overwhelmed by a mix of bashfulness and adoration. You sink into his arms instead, and he presses yet another kiss to your head, seemingly on a mission to cover your entire face before he leaves.
"And hey," He hums, the words thrumming against your nose where you nestle into his chest, "If all else fails, I'll bring home a thong for tomorrow night- we'll go so hard you'll sleep through next week."
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moonstruckme · 2 months ago
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hello mae! you said that you’re tentatively thinking about doing poly! jily? how about them x shy!reader who is used to spending holidays alone but now that she’s in a relationship, James and Lily wanna give her experiences of like carving pumpkins, baking cookies, or something like that.
just cute and domestic fall activities!! I hope that’s enough.
Thank you for requesting lovely!
poly!Jily x shy!reader ♡ 845 words
You smile, and James plants his lips on your cheek just before the flash. 
“Perfect,” Lily says while the camera whirs. She takes the photo it spits out, going to stow it in a shady corner of the porch. 
“Now one with you,” James urges. 
“No.” Lily waves him off as you second James’ request. “How would we get all of us and our pumpkins in it?” 
“James has long arms,” you say.
"Yeah, Evans." James grabs you roughly around the shoulders, making your face heat even as you smile. "I have long arms. Give it here."
After some debate Lily hands over the camera. James holds it out as far as he can, waiting until you’re all holding up your jack-o-lanterns before pressing the button. 
It goes beside the other photo, waiting for the film to develop. You know as soon as it does, both photos will be clustered in with the others on James and Lily’s fridge, held up by magnets beginning to lose their strength under the weight of so many. Lily has always liked to take pictures, and ever since you got together she’s been cramming ones of you into every empty space. This relationship is relatively new for you, and most days you’re still trying to figure out where you fit, but Lily and James do everything to make you feel welcome. In a million tiny ways, they show you all the time that they care just as much for you as they do for each other. 
James looks between your pumpkins pridefully. “Whose do we think turned out the best?” 
“Lily’s,” you say at the same time as Lily says, “Mine.” 
James’ mouth falls open. “Mine was good too!”
“Sorry, Jamie.” You give his shoulder a consoling pat. “Hers is just better.” 
The fact of the matter is, your girlfriend was simply patient where you and James were not. She outlined her jack-o-lantern’s face beforehand in marker, used a small knife to achieve the curvatures of one heart-shaped eye and one winking one, and took the time to make the edges of her cuts look nice and clean. James and you, however, tried to freehand things with much larger knives; it had not gone quite so well. 
“I think there should be points for creativity,” says James, frowning at his botched pumpkin. He’d tried to give it round eyes, and in the process accidentally cut more than he meant to. The result is jagged and vaguely upsetting, so eventually he decided it was an ill pumpkin and trailed its entrails out of its mouth so it looks like it’s vomiting pumpkin guts. 
“It was a very creative solution,” Lily tells James. And to you, “You did really well for your first time, too, sweetheart.” 
You snort. Yours is nearly as bad as James’. Both of your partners had to show you how to saw through the pumpkin flesh more than once to keep you from yanking the knife out and stabbing yourself. After many tutorials, you’d managed two triangle-shaped eyes, but the teeth you’d tried to put in your jack-o-lantern’s mouth had fallen out, so now it just looks like a rather simplistic, very upbeat face. 
“You did,” Lily insists, but she’s repressing a laugh too as she looks down at your pumpkin. “It’s cute.” 
“It looks like something a five-year-old could have done,” you acknowledge. 
“You and a five-year-old have about the same amount of experience carving pumpkins, so that’s not really so bad,” says James. He reaches for the polaroids Lily took. “Let’s see how these turned out.” 
“James Potter,” Lily’s voice goes sharp, “don’t you dare touch those with your slimy hands.” 
“Okay, alright.” James holds his hands up in the air. He stands instead, backing away slowly like Lily has him at gunpoint. “C’mon, lovie, let’s go fish the seeds out in the sink.” 
“What for?” you ask, following him as he carries your large bowl of pumpkin entrails inside. 
“If you separate the seeds and roast them, you can eat them.” James raises his eyebrows at you. “Don’t tell me you’ve never had pumpkin seeds before.” 
“Nope.” 
“Ugh. You poor, deprived girl.” James takes your face in his hands, and you smile despite the slick feeling of his pumpkin-y fingers on your cheeks. His eyebrows scrunch pityingly as he kisses above your nose. “We’ll right that wrong today, sweetheart, don’t you worry.” 
“You haven’t been missing out on much,” Lily says, slipping past the two of you with your photos. She wedges them underneath a magnet on the fridge. “It’s a lot of effort for a snack.” 
“She only says that because she can’t stand the guts,” James tells you conspiratorially. 
“Really?” You mash your hands into the stringy pumpkin bits. “I kind of like them.” 
Lily makes a face. “They’re all slimy and weird. And sticky.” 
“Wimp,” James teases. 
“You’ve just called them guts, James. In what world does that sound appealing?” 
“Angel,” James says in a quiet voice, “you’ll protect me, won’t you?” 
You frown at him. “Why?” 
He picks up a small mass of pumpkin guts and lobs it at your girlfriend. 
“James!”
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bluejeanstrash · 10 months ago
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tags: boyfriend! seungcheol x reader, domestic scenes, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of marriage | wc: 744
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‘is he okay?’ 
‘mmm’ seungcheol nods, carefully closing the door behind him. ‘he’ll be fine. he fell asleep but i’ve kept the puke bucket next to the bed incase he needs it’ 
‘cheollie, we really need to throw that thing’ you make a face, thinking about how many times it had been used. 
‘yeah, but people keep throwing up in our house!’ 
‘that’s because you keep making them drink way too much!’ seungcheol’s “home bar” was 3 bottles short of a liquor store. he was extremely proud of his collection and very generous with it, offering offensively expensive drinks to any and every guest that entered your home.
tonight, passed out in the guest room was hoshi, who had been taken out midway through his fourth drink. he hadn’t even made it to the dinner part of the dinner party you both were hosting.
seungcheol pouts in response, picking up a dirty glass left on the bar ‘do you want me to do the dishes, my love?’ 
‘nope, i’ve got it. can you clean up and take out the trash instead?’ he gets on it right away, pausing for a second to rub your shoulders when bringing the glass over. a second turns into a minute, and the rub into a mini massage as his fingers move deftly, kneading all those little knots away.
‘thank you baby, i needed that’ you sigh, and the next thing you know his arms are wrapped around you, his chin resting on the slope of your shoulder ‘you know what was really nice today?’ 
‘hmmn?’ 
‘you know when joshua’s friend…mark? yeah, mark. when he thought we were married’
it was first time it had ever happened. ‘so, how did you and your husband meet?’ mark had asked.
‘oh, he’s my boyfriend’ you had corrected him and moved on, but seungcheol was stuck right there. boyfriend? no, that just wasn’t going to cut it for him anymore. why would he ever want to be called your boyfriend when he could be your husband instead? a demotion, really.
‘i liked it. a lot. husband-’ he presses a kiss to the warm skin of your neck ‘-and wife’, and another, before pulling you into him. he brings his arm forward to turn off the tap before turning you around to face him.
‘what do you say? should we do it? get married?’ each question asked in between little pecks.
‘if this is your idea of a proposal-’
he chuckles, circling back ‘get married. make you my wife. get you…pregnant’ seungcheol feels a little giddy honestly, giddy at his own words. he’s already made up his mind — he wants this future, and only with you.
‘you want to put a baby in me?’ you tease, starting to feel a little hot under your clothes.
‘oh, i want to put many, many babies in you’ he mutters, his lips parting yours, impatient hands coming around to untie the knot of your apron.
‘want to put one in you right now...’ he grabs your ass to lift you up, your legs wrapping around him instantly. you pull off your rubber gloves, tossing them aside and lock your arms around his neck. you kiss him, a little needily, tugging at his hair to let him know you need him right here, right now. he turns around to take you to the kitchen island, opening his eyes for a second to see hoshi — hoshi who’s discreetly trying to make his way out of the kitchen.
‘shit!’ seungcheol’s grip on you loosens abruptly before he catches you, carefully putting you down.
‘sorry! i’m so sorry!’ hoshi covers his eyes, stumbling back ‘i didn’t see anything. i just..i threw up..in that bucket thing and didn’t know what to do with it’
‘it’s fine, it’s fine. go to the room. i’m coming’ seungcheol takes a second to calm himself down, taking deep breaths to redirect his blood flow.
‘this is what it’s going to be like with a kid, you know’ you joke, bending to grab the fallen gloves which doesn’t help his raging boner at all ‘at least hoshi can clean up after himself up. who’s going to clean up our child’s projectile vomit?’
there’s a moment of silence.
‘not it’
‘not it!’
you both giggle — you turning back to do the dishes, and seungcheol going to check up on hoshi, both of you back in the moment, dreaming of the future to come.
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aurumalatus · 3 months ago
Text
𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐞 [𝟑]
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pairing. kinich x fem!reader
word count. 3.6k
genre/warnings. childhood friends to lovers, slow burn, fluff and angst, drabble collection, cursing, mentions of abuse/alcoholism, character death and graphic descriptions of death, mentions of vomit
summary.
in which kinich learns the value of all things: lives, friendship, and, of course, you. or, in which kinich realizes that you are the only priceless thing in this world.
author's note. this one is... a lot. take heed of the warnings/let me know if there's something i forgot to tag! i might've missed some errors because it's late so i will fix in the morning, otherwise please enjoy! reblogs/interaction highly appreciated!
↢ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 | 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ↣
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𝗛𝗢𝗟𝗗𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗢𝗡 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗟𝗘𝗧𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗚𝗢
When the meadows grow full and lush, Kinich awaits your reappearance.
The winter had been long—with his crops iced over, he’d had to rely on hunting to survive. His mother’s absence had taken a heavy toll on his family (though he uses the word loosely), and his father somehow finds more time to drink his life away. Now the sole homemaker, Kinich finds himself as his father’s newfound punching bag as well.
He discovers that he has a talent for patching wounds and bruises.
Some days, the man awakens in the dead of night, freshly sober—Kinich can hear him crying his mother’s name in the dark. He doesn’t know whether to take that as regret, or simply loneliness.
They don’t talk. They never really did, but the silence grows quickly, curling and weaving and winding like vines through the house, until Kinich can feel it wrapping his throat shut. Days and weeks go by without him talking to anyone at all.
Still, he moves on.
The ice finally melts, and he welcomes the sight of animals returning from hibernation, despite how they nip at his garden. New life sprouts from the ground, and it’s only a matter of time before you appear in the forest again as well.
This time, you’re touting a burlap bag of Quenepa Berries, and you offer him one as he approaches.
“They’re sweeter at this time of year,” you comment, before popping one of the fruits into your mouth. He accepts and does the same—this batch is fattened and sweet, he thinks as the juice dribbles down his chin. You must have an eye for a good harvest.
“You came back,” is all he replies, as a greeting.
An incredulous expression crosses your face, almost judgmental—you hold the bag of berries away from him as teasing punishment. “You thought I wouldn’t?”
He reaches over you, quick as a fox, catching one of the fruits in his fingers. 
“Don’t know.”
There’s no way to tell you about his mother’s disappearance, at least not one that he’s confident about. After all, he feels there’s no logic in informing you anyway—there’s no solution that you could potentially offer, and it’s not as though it affects you. But it’s the thought of that, and the lasting image of her footsteps, that had instilled this fear within him.
The fear that you would never return.
But you’re here, he soothes himself, another berry in your outstretched palm. He takes it, just as your voice rings out again.
“So, do your parents not like girls?”
The skin of the fruit catches in his throat at your question, and he lets out a series of wet coughs—you pat his back, eyes wide with concern. It takes a few moments for him to return to his senses.
“What are you talking about?” he splutters, uncharacteristically flustered.
You don’t seem to notice, too absorbed in picking through your bag—you prefer the lightest blue berries, the ones that are still slightly unripe. Perhaps you enjoy the tartness they offer.
“I don’t know,” you reply. “It just seems like you don’t want your parents to see me.”
And there’s no easy way to explain his situation, so he doesn’t. Instead, he hums, watching the birds soar by overhead. His heart vaguely tugs with jealousy at the sight of them.
“It’s not that. My parents just…don’t like people hanging around our house. That’s why we moved out of the village.”
Not a total lie, he reasons—the financial issues were the root cause, but his father had also grown tired of neighbors attempting to intervene in his parents’ endless disputes. It had given him hope, for a time, that someone might be able to remedy the situation. 
But that hope was quickly snuffed out.
“Makes sense,” you say, tracing shapes in the dirt with your foot. You draw a heart, a smiley face, and then something that looks like a defective Yumkasaurus. “Your dad is the mean one, right?”
You’re still not quite educated on social faux-pas at your age, and Kinich almost chokes again.
“What?”
Something rustles in the bushes nearby—an animal scared away by the sudden loudness of his voice.
“He always used to yell at me when I’d come around to leave you things,” you explain, overwhelmingly casual. “Smelled like that stuff that us kids aren’t allowed to go near in the market.”
Kinich vaguely remembers hearing his parents argue about something like that, but all the fighting tends to blur together after a time. He’s not sure how to reply to that, or what you might think if he did.
So he doesn’t.
He asks you about your winter instead, a topic change that you welcome eagerly. You tell him about the village, the white-topped roofs and the way the Yumkasauri would redden and sneeze, whelps hiding in their mother’s wings. You tell him about how you tried ice skating on the frozen river, recounting how many times you fell flat on your face. The thought makes him smile faintly.
He’s almost surprised by how enthusiastic you are about it—you’d told him before about your parents’ death in the cold season. He wonders how you seem to move past it all.
You turn your attention back to him, curious. “What about you? What happened during your winter?”
There’s a lot he could say, but none of it feels right, every word sticking to his tongue, stubborn. 
“The winter felt really long,” he finally says, mostly to himself, chewing thoughtfully.
You glance at him out of the corner of your eye. “It did. But it’s not so bad, I think.”
He hums. “Really?”
You shrug. “Spring always comes again anyway.”
/
On Kinich’s seventh birthday, you knock at his door in the evening.
The November air is crisp, but not yet chilling. After all, the nation of Pyro tends to run warm until the very depths of winter. It’s for that reason that the fireplace still lies darkened and empty, and that the kitchen window is still open a crack.
The sound shocks him at first—it’s been a long time since anyone has visited at all, so much so that the dull thump is unfamiliar. Wilder animals tend to come out when the sun sets, so he tries to finish up his farming and hunting beforehand—at this time, he’s usually preparing some sort of meal for the next day.
He glances at the source of the noise, then at his father, slumped over the kitchen table, drool dripping from the corner of his mouth. The man will likely be asleep until the early morning anyway.
So Kinich pads to the door, pulling it open just a crack, and it’s your eye that peers back at him, curious.
Another inch, and then the rest of you is revealed to him—you’re holding a neatly wrapped box in your hands, an innocent smile spread across your lips.
His first words come out in a hiss.
“What are you doing here?”
He thinks he’s been quite clear about your need to return to the village by this time, for many reasons. It’s growing dark, a time where animals and humans alike grow more dangerous, and his father tends to be home. The man has a talent of putting Kinich in the worst moods, and he’d rather not spread that to you.
“It’s your birthday,” you greet, as an explanation, shrugging like it’s all so obvious. Kinich tilts his head.
“So?”
“So, we’re celebrating! I spent the whole day baking this cake with Chief Wayna’s help.”
Kinich steps outside, quietly letting the door shut behind him. The sunset sky is burning away at this time, pinks and reds fading into black and blue. The stars will be out soon. 
“It’s nighttime,” he says, crossing his arms.
You nod vigorously, undeterred. “Yup! All so you can see the candles better. It looks so much cooler when it’s dark.”
It’s a ridiculous statement to someone like him, and Kinich is once again reminded how different the two of you are. His sense of logic doesn’t seem to align with your enduring enthusiasm. Still, he likes the fire that you have about you, and has no interest in snuffing it out, so he merely sighs and leads you away from the front door.
Once you’re a bit away, the house still in view, he looks to you again.
“So, what is it about candles?”
Without a reply, you turn away from him, fiddling with various things—he hears a match being lit, sees the faint light reflect from behind you—and then you’re facing him again, proudly holding out the cake.
There’s seven brightly colored candles sticking out from the top. The candlelight illuminates your face with a soft glow, a cheeky smile spreading across your lips.
“It looks good, right?”
Kinich peers down at the treat—it does look good, with the expensive kind of frosting that he used to look at longingly in the market. He hasn’t had something this sweet, this luxurious, in a long time, or maybe ever. When he glances back up, you’re staring up at him expectantly—he shrinks back from the pressure.
“What is it?” he asks, feeling self-conscious. You point to the candles.
“You have to blow it out.”
Vaguely, he thinks back on when he used to live in the village. He’s seen people hold birthday parties before (though he can’t say he’d ever been invited), but he’s not sure he’s heard of this tradition. Birthday celebrations weren’t something his family could ever afford anyway, or maybe they just didn’t care to.
Kinich realizes he doesn’t even know when his parents’ birthdays are.
But you’re still watching him, so he pushes that thought aside. Instead, he leans over and gently blows out the candles in three small puffs of breath.
“It’s fun, isn’t it?” You cheer, tilting the cake toward him. “I hope you made a wish!”
You’d forgotten to mention that before he blew out the candles, he thinks to himself, but he’s in no position to argue with your good will anyway. So he nods, silently making a wish after the fact.
“Alright, the best part is eating it,” you whisper conspiratorially, like you’re sharing a life-shattering secret. “And Elder Leik says it’s bad to have sugar before bed, but I think it’s okay just this once—”
“Kinich!”
That voice—
His heart freezes in his chest. Your face morphs in confusion, and then he’s grasping at your arm and yanking, hiding you behind him—you’re not much smaller than him, though, so it’s a futile effort. At the force, the cake slips out of your grip, smashing uselessly into the grass.
Kinich has half a mind to apologize, but he can’t—instead, he holds you tighter.
“Kinich?” A hoarse voice echoes in the dark. “Where the hell are you?” 
“I’m here. I was just taking a walk,” he replies. His voice shakes at the edges of each syllable—he hopes his father doesn’t notice. 
Something crunches in the distance; it’s the sound of grass underfoot. His father is coming this way, Kinich realizes in a panic. He glances back to your fearful eyes, clutching at the back of his thin t-shirt, and his chest burns with the desire to protect.
It’s too dim to see the man until he’s a few feet in front of you—he’s dressed in a tattered shirt and loose pants, feet dragging through the grass. His eyes narrow when he gets close enough, brows knitting together.
His gaze zeroes in on you, venomous. “It’s you again.”
The collar of Kinich’s shirt grows taut against his throat as you pull against him, afraid. He squeezes at your arm once, a comfort.
“You damn orphans, got nothing better to do? Just fucking around on my property, I should throw you off this goddamn cliff! Not like you got anyone to miss you.”
Kinich grits his teeth. “Leave her alone.”
His father laughs, a grating sound like nails on a chalkboard, then belches. The smell of cheap alcohol filters through the air, even from a distance.
“Go do something useful then. Too many useless people in this world, ha! Just like your damn mother.”
The mention makes the blood ice over in Kinich’s veins, a sharp frost crawling up his spine. Your grip loosens just a hair, likely in confusion, but the detail barely reaches his mind.
“You know where she is?”
The image of his mother’s footsteps in the newly fallen snow had never left his mind—he sees it in his nightmares, trapped and crawling in an endless frozen landscape, alone. He thinks of her when he farms, when he weaves, when he’s forced to eat another Grainfruit.
He thinks of her always, maybe, in the back of his mind.
And his father does too, maybe, based on the way his whole body seems to tighten with anger at the question. He doesn’t reply, at least not verbally.
You watch, horrified. Even as his father’s eyes glow with rage, even as he drunkenly hobbles toward you both, hands outstretched.
(Kinich blankly notes that they form the shape of his own neck.)
The man isn’t too coordinated, especially with the alcohol coursing through his veins—he stumbles a few times on the way, the grass seeming to curl around his ankles, slowing him down. Perhaps it’s the land’s way of protecting him, Kinich thinks. 
He grabs your hand, pulling you behind him. “Come on!”
Kinich runs, wind whipping at his face, the way he always does when his father gets this way. He takes you through the backyard, toward the forest, where his father might lose sight of you both and give up the chase. He knows the paths there and knows them well—the shadows of the trees will protect you both.
But the man is picking up speed behind you, roaring about what he’ll do once he catches you.
“Kinich,” you wheeze. You’d already been semi-exhausted by your trek here, and certainly not expecting a sprint like this.
“I know,” he pants back. “Just a little more.”
You’re trying your hardest, he knows.
But he’s faster than you, and you stumble, lagging behind.
“Kinich!”
His father lunges, fingers barely grasping at the leg of your pants. A shriek erupts from your throat as you tumble to the ground in a twisted pile, and Kinich cries out with you, just as the cliff seems to rumble beneath his feet. 
It happens in slow motion. 
Kinich’s father meets his son’s gaze, enraged, then afraid. Terrified, just as he feels his legs dangle over the edge of the cliff, just as the weight of your smaller body pushes his torso over. Shocked, just as the rest of you starts to come down with him. 
Your screams echo off the darkened mountain. 
Kinich weighs his options—it doesn’t take long—and then leaps forward. His chest smacks painfully into the dirt, but he manages to grab your wrist just as you slip down the cliff.
“Kinich!” 
His father is screaming his name, and so are you, pleading, begging for his help. And you’re still in his grasp, but you’re slipping, and his father is reaching for him, and if he could just grab him with his other hand, he could maybe pull you both up, but—
Kinich’s gaze meets your tear-filled eyes.
So he grits his teeth, clawing at the dirt, and with his other hand, he grabs—
You.
He doesn’t have time to catch his father’s expression—he doesn’t think he’d want to see it anyway—before he’s hauling you up, yanking you into his arms until you’re both collapsing into the grass. The crown of your skull clashes with his chin harshly.
His father is still bellowing curses, not that you seem to hear it over the sound of your screams and cries. But Kinich hears it, somehow, floating above the chaos and agony in your voice.
“It’s your fucking fault! This is all your fault!”
His eyes flutter shut as the voice fades away, and then grows silent.
It’s too quiet.
Even the crickets seem to censor themselves, hiding from the entire ordeal. Kinich releases his hold on you, rolling onto his stomach, then onto his knees. The grass seems to waver under his stare, rippling and oscillating until it feels like the entire world is quivering beneath him.
He barely registers that you’re struggling to pull yourself upright behind him.
You turn away from Kinich’s hunched form to vomit in the grass, overwhelmed by it all. A corpse lies at the foot of the cliff now, one that could’ve just as easily been you. One that might have actually been your fault. The thought makes you vomit again. 
After a few more dry heaves, Kinich’s hand rubs at your back, the other gently easing your hair away from your mouth. You look over your shoulder at him, eyes filled with tears and nose dripping with snot. 
“Kinich,” you sob, trying to catch your breath. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I was too slow, and he—he fell. I didn’t mean it. I’m so sorry. I know he wasn’t—I don’t—but that was your—your father—”
He takes you by the shoulders, forcing you to look at him—really look at him. His expression seems the same as always, but you know the difference. You note the quivering at the edge of his lips, the light sheen at the corners of his eyes. It disappears as quickly as you notice it, flattening under a disposition of stone.
“I weighed the value between you,” he says, gaze meeting your glassy stare. Your heart flutters. “And I chose you.”
And for a bit, you pretend that you can’t hear the thick lump in his throat, or the way his nose scrunches to keep the tears from slipping. Instead, you take his hand, struggling to your feet.
Kinich gives you a once-over—your pant leg is tattered now, a long strip of fabric ripped from the bottom. A flash of crimson peeks from under the remaining cloth.
Thin lines of blood bloom over the joint there, slowly running down the length of your leg.
“You’re bleeding,” he rasps, assessing the extent of your wound. It’s not deep—a skinned knee at most, which he’s grateful for. He’s treated much worse on his own body.
There’s so much to do, he thinks, pushing through the foggy haze permeating his mind. He has to retrieve his father’s body. He has to treat your wound. With his father gone, he needs to make a plan for his own survival.
It’s not as if his father ever really helped out anyway, but the thought of being truly, totally alone is harrowing. It takes another minute for him to remember that you’re still standing at his side.
“Go back to the house,” he mumbles, almost to himself. “Wait for me in the kitchen—”
“No!” You blurt, looking surprised despite yourself. Kinich jolts, meeting your eyes. “You’re going to get his body, right?”
After a moment of hesitation, he nods solemnly.
Kinich has looked down these cliffs many times; he knows the sheer height of them. There’s absolutely no chance that his father’s body is in any sort of good shape at the bottom. The thought makes bile rise in his throat.
You swallow. “So let’s go.”
The fear is reflected in the way your hands shake, but your shoulders straighten and you reach for him, slotting your fingers together. It’s the most bravery that you can manage, at least right now. Kinich accepts it gratefully.
Making your way down the cliff is treacherous with the little light you have. You don’t speak, barely even breathe. The stars lay watchful above, winking and illuminating your way. 
Even with your hand in his, Kinich glances back occasionally, ensuring you’re still with him—you always are, still sniffling and scrubbing at your eyes. 
It’s hard for you, and it’s obvious; he has to catch you several times when your foot slips off the stone, but you’re still with him. You’re still with him, he thinks. Kinich repeats it to himself a few times, letting it anchor him as he struggles down the rocks.
His father’s body is stiff by the time you reach it.
You’re too afraid to look at first, meekly standing behind him. It takes a few minutes before you work up the courage to peek over his shoulder, one hand over your mouth. Kinich isn’t sure whether to pray, or cry, or leave it all behind—for a few minutes, he doesn’t do anything at all.
The body is mangled, as he’d expected. You don’t dare to look at it again; you pace about the area, trying to keep your wits about you. 
Everything about it is too familiar. He sees himself in the corpse, the blond hair fanned around the head like a halo, the golden eyes forever stuck in a faraway stare. The grappling hook that he always kept on his person.
His father. A half of him. His flesh and blood.
And he’d let him go.
Kinich feels for his own heartbeat over his shirt, fisting at the cloth there.
You are still alive, it whispers.
So he calls your name, soft. You peek at him through the darkness.
“We have to bring it back,” he murmurs.
And you, despite it all, despite the terror that licks hot up your neck, simply nod.
“Okay.”
As the two of you drag the corpse back toward the house, fingertips sticky with blood that freezes in the passing wind, Kinich realizes it—
This is the coldest November he’s ever experienced.
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ao3lestappeninchident · 5 months ago
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Can you do yapper Max where he comes back from night out and is drunk. Reader tries to help him get ready for bed and he just tells her the most random things
Drunk yapping
Max verstappen x reader
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You were seated on the couch, blanket firm in your hands as the tenth plot twist happened in your horror movie. A soft yell left your mouth by the look of a couple cut of limbs as the scene became black. The music added a high suspense to the whole movement as you wanted to look away. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to watch it alone and without Max home, you thought.
The camera moved to an abandoned staircase as the music became louder and louder. Just when a door moved open and a face came out, a knock on the moved your attention away. You paused it and got up from the couch to walk towards the door. Looking trough the eye whole you saw Daniel holding Max in his hands.
You smile as you open up the door. Max was losely hanging into Daniels side as he kept on rambling his mouth. Daniel looked a bit irritated, but his smile was as big as ever. "Hi, y/n. I am sorry if I woke you, but Max is being a pain in my ass." you laughed as you made room for Daniel to walk inside. The Australian throws Max on the couch and a loud giggle is heard from your boyfriend.
"Don't worry. I know how Max is when he has a bit too much to drink. I hope he wasn't too annoying." you walked towards the kitchen to grab two glasses of water, Daniel may be less drunk but it was clear he had something to drink too. He thanked you as you gave him a glass of water before moving to sit next to Max.
You held out the glass of water for Max to grab. Max grabs the glass of water and shoots it down his throat like a shot. He sets the glass on the table with trouble and he groans before laying his head in your lap.
Daniel laughs at his friend's antics before walking to the door, "I leave you alone. Carlos is waiting for me in the car. And no, he did not drink." you wave him goodbye and you are left alone with your drunken boyfriend.
"Did you have fun?" you move your fingers through his hair and he nods. Max looks so pretty like this. His hair is ruined and standing in every way, his cheeks are flushing red and the top buttons of his shirt are unbuttoned. He always get it hot when he drowns his third G&T of the night.
"Very, but I did miss you. No one wanted to talk to me." Max pouts and you let out a little laugh at the adoring side. "Every time I said something, they moved away."
You stood up from the couch, "You can tell them to me while we get you ready for bed." Max face lits up and he stands up next to you. He stumbles a bit over his feet and you are quick to grab him by his arms. Together you walk to the bedroom as Max begins to speak.
"There was a cat tonight. I don't know how he made it inside, but he walked up to me, so of course I had to cuddle with him. Did you know cats have 30 teeth. I accidentally moved too close to a place he didn't like and I felt his teeth and you saw like a lot. I didn't hurt, he couldn't help it. " Max rambled and you listened closely to what he said. Of course the first thing was about cats, when didn't he talk about cats?
You helped him sit down on a chair in the corner of the bedroom and walked to the dresser to grab some pajamas. " I did not know they had 30 teeth. It is a surprise you didn't take him home."
"I wanted to, but a security person grabbed it from my hands to bring it outside. I couldn't find him after." Max answered with a sad tone. You saw how he had tried to untie his shoes, but the ties were now pulled fast instead of lose. You shook your head and knelt down you untied them. Max had to keep himself from falling backwards as his eyes close from the busy night.
"People always think cats like milk, but they are actually lactose intolerant. They aren't able to digest the lactose and if they have too much they will be vomiting. Of course a little bit wouldn't hurt too much, but too much is bad for them." Max slurred over his words as you finally pulled off his shoes. "Thank you,"
"Also i read somewhere that animals can have a different time feeling then humans. Smaller animals need more time to progress the movements and time will be slower for them. Like a lizard has slower time then a cat, but a tiger would be further in time than a cat. So technical animals and humans live in different time zones."
"That's strange. That they all live in different moment of time. " you answer while pulling his shirt over his head. "Hands up," you say and Max arms shoot in the air, almost hitting your face by accident, but he is too tired to see. You laugh as you try to pull on his pajama shirt, wich you know if going to be thrown of in the middle of the night when he has it to warm.
After some time Max had finished his teeth and was now sitting on the edge of the bed while you put on your pajama. "Thank you for helping me."
"No worries." you kiss his head and he pulls you in for a hug. "Lets get some rest tonight."
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cherrylovelycherry · 7 months ago
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𓂅new order. "tarte aux fraises and a pain au chocolat."
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Trios never work
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pairing. Aventurine x gn!reader x Dr ratio (poly) cw/genre. angst, some slow burn, anxiety vomiting, drink, being left out, slight addiction issue. synopsis. you couldn't stand to be left out any longer. full menu
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You watched the television disinterestedly, not paying attention to whatever is on that channel.
You, Aventurine and Ratio have been together for a little over a year now. At first, it was great, you three were inseparable and you did almost everything together. Moved in, split chores and expenses, that sort of thing.
That is, until you started being left out by them. You've always known they're closer to each other as they've been in love for time, but why did they even want you there if they'd just… forget about you?
Today is no different, unfortunately. You're stuck beside them, having to watch them cuddle and talk to each other while you just sit by yourself. Finally having enough, you stand from your spot, making your way towards the door.
"Is something wrong, my dear?" Aventurine asks as Ratio buries his face into his neck gently, his arms around his waist. Ratio looks up at you as well, his eyes taking in your expression, "You look upset. Is something bothering you?"
Your shoulders slump, eyes not quite meeting theirs. "Nothing." you reply softly, shifting uncomfortably. A slight lie.
Your throat tightens, "I was just going to go for a little walk," you murmur, a forced smile on your lips.
Ratio gives you a slightly skeptical look before sitting up to properly look at you, his arms still around Aventurine. "Why do you need a walk? Are you feeling unwell?" He asks.
"No, I just…" You stumble over your words, your voice growing shaky. "I just need a bit of air. Fresh air." They're so focused on you, eyes scanning you with hints of worry and curiosity, and yet—you still can't help but feel left out. It's the way they're still holding close to each other, not making any effort to reach out to you instead. It stings a bit.
There's a bit of a pause, the air between you turning a little tense as Ratio seems to think over your answer. He nods slowly, resting his chin on Aventurine’s shoulder.
"Alright then. Go on." He says, turning his head to press a kiss to Aventurine’s neck.
Your heart sinks a little at his words. It was so easy for him to just tell you to go. No offer to come with or ask if he should come with, nothing. It made the ache in your chest worse.
You nod silently, not trusting your voice. "I'll be going now. I'll be back soon." You murmur, slipping your shoes on and opening the door.
Aventurine opens his mouth to say something, but you’re already walking towards the front door. "Be careful on your walk," he calls out, "Don’t be out too late." You simply nod as you open the door, a small sigh of relief escaping your lips as you step outside.
You walk aimlessly, taking in the fresh air and the peaceful night sky. Still, your thoughts aren't very positive. Your mind keeps running back on how close they were, how lonely you felt being right next to them. It's exhausting, really, and it hurts more than you care to admit.
Both are left sitting together on the sofa, looking towards the door that you'd just walked out of. Aventurine hums gently. "They seemed a bit upset, don't you think?"
Ratio lets out a thoughtful hum, his expression a little grim. "Yeah…" He mutters, his eyes glued to the door. "I noticed too." His fingers begin to trace patterns on Aventurine’s waist, his touch almost absentminded as he thinks to himself.
"They've been acting a bit strange lately as well," he points out after a few moments of silence. "More down or distant, I think."
You walked leisurely through the cheerful and welcoming streets of Penacony. Which, despite being so, you did not find at all amusing.
It felt more, shall we say, boring.
You went up to the highest rooftops, seeing how pretty the lights looked and people enjoying themselves.
You felt jealous when you saw a couple taking pictures of each other. You shook your head, pushing those thoughts away.
To tell you the truth, the flat they bought here is only provisional since your boyfriends are on some kind of; mission? assignment?
You didn't really understand.
And of course, you being their partner, you're always with them wherever they go.
You sighed, crossing your arms a little as you leaned against the railings of the rooftop, looking down at the people below and the lights. The cool night air blew gently, gently brushing your hair with it.
You stayed there for a while, simply taking in the sights and sounds of the city around you. For a while it's peaceful and pleasant, a temporary distraction from the thoughts in your head. However, after a while, your mind drifts back to Ratio and Aventurine, and the ache in your chest returns.
Your mind drifts back to what's happening at home. Aventurine and Ratio. They're probably cuddling each other right now. Or they're watching a movie together. Or maybe they are kissing each other.
The thought makes your insides twist uncomfortably.
The entire place came to view before you as a chilly breeze passes you.
You let out a tiny shiver and cross your arms, hoping that it would help protect you from the cold air.
You check your phone. How long has it been since you left? Thirty minutes? An hour? Maybe two? Should you be getting back soon?
Above all, no messages or calls.
Just a few more minutes, you convince yourself. Just a few minutes more.
You let out a frustrated sigh, burying your head into your arms for a moment. The thoughts in your mind becoming louder with each passing minute.
This was unfair. They didn't even try to contact you. Not even a word.
However, you tried to cheer yourself up, thinking that maybe they had just fallen asleep. And that they were worried about you.
…Yeah, that must be it. They are probably sleeping right now. They are probably worried sick.
You try to convince yourself that they are worried just as much as you.
How can they not care? They love you, right? They care about you, right? You've been together for so long. There's no way they suddenly don't care anymore. Right?
You push yourself up, letting out a shaky breath.
You started walking again, with slow, leisurely steps.
Not to the flat, but to the bar you once stumbled upon while exploring.
Once you reached the bar, you push open the doors, stepping into the dimly lit room. There was a soft hum of music playing in the background, and several patrons were seated at the bar or lounging in the booths.
You took a quick glance around, taking in the cozy atmosphere of the place. It seemed like a nice place to relax and think.
You made your way over to the bar, taking a seat on one of the stools and leaning forward on the counter.
You didn't really realise how much time you spent there, at least you weren't falling or tripping over anything as you walked back to your temporary home.
However, you did have some alcohol in your veins.
You had fun, you met new people, including a Gallagher and a Siobhan.
And now you were slowly stumbling around the streets, your mind and body fuzzy from intoxication. The alcohol had definitely taken its toll on you, dulling your senses and affecting your judgment.
As you reached your temporary home, you fumbled with the keys, trying to find the right one to unlock the door. Finally, after a few failed attempts, you manage to open the door and stumble inside.
The living room was dimly lit, with just a few lamps lit around the room. Ratio and Aventurine were nowhere to be seen, and a quick glance around confirmed that they were probably in the bedroom.
You stumble over to the couch, feeling exhausted all of a sudden. You drop down onto the cushions with a soft thump, your body feeling heavy and tired.
You close your eyes for a moment, letting out a deep breath as you lean back against the couch. Your head was spinning slightly from the alcohol, but despite that, your mind suddenly became more clear.
All the thoughts you've been pushing down started flooding back in, and your chest clenches painfully as you’re reminded of why you went out in the first place.
Sighing deeply, you got up from the sofa, slowly taking off your shoes.
Then you made your way to the bedroom.
There you both were, sleeping face to face.
Without thinking too much and without changing your clothes, you climbed into bed, putting yourself in the middle of both of them, trying to make some space for yourself. Being careful not to wake them up.
Ratio stirred slightly as you settled yourself beside him, his arm wrapping around your waist unconsciously. Aventurine shifted closer to you, pressing his body against yours.
You were surrounded by them, their bodies warm and familiar.
For a while, you just lay there between them, feeling the rise and fall of their breaths, listening to the soft rustling of their limbs.
You felt a strange mix of comfort and pain at being here. Comforted by their presence, pained by how distant they felt.
You were tired, both physically and emotionally. Your body ached from the alcohol, and your heart ached with something else.
Lying there, between the two men you loved, you felt more alone than ever.
But, oh, the warmth they radiated made your eyes glaze over.
They were so close, yet so far away.
They clutched onto you, as if they needed you, but they didn't?
You couldn't help but watch them as they slept, Ratio's arm wrapped firmly around your waist, Aventurine's head resting on your shoulder.
Everything felt so familiar, yet so… distant.
Were you overthinking things? Were you making a big deal out of this?
They love you… right?
You watch as Ratio mumbled something in his sleep, his grip on your waist tightening slightly.
Your heart skipped a beat at the action, a strange mix of warmth and pain coursing through your body.
You knew you shouldn't be feeling like this. You shouldn't be doubting their love for you. They've been with you for so long, they've said they love you so many times.
But still, the doubts linger in your mind, whispering and gnawing at your heart.
Perhaps it was the alcohol talking, maybe it was just your own insecurities, but you suddenly felt the urge to cry.
Maybe it was just the alcohol.
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You opened your eyes slowly, almost as if you didn't want to wake up from your warm and peaceful sleep.
You found yourself lying on your back, your head resting on a firm yet comfy pillow. There was a comforting pressure on both sides of your waist, holding you carefully but firmly in place.
As you opened your eyes more, you realized that you weren't alone in bed. Ratio and Aventurine's bodies were pressed against yours from both sides, their limbs tangled with yours in a way that you were completely encircled between them.
Ratio's head was resting on your shoulder, his face nuzzled into the crook of your neck. His breath was warm and slow against your skin.
Aventurine's arm was draped over your waist, his hand resting firmly but gently on your hip. His forehead was pressed against your shoulder, his messy hair tickling your face.
"Morning…" Ratio mumbled groggily as you struggled in their grips, his arm tightening around your waist.
Aventurine stirred as well, nuzzling his face into your shoulder and mumbling something incoherent.
You could feel the warmth of their breath against your skin, the way their bodies were still pressed against yours with no signs of moving.
You groaned again, feeling like you were trapped in a warm, loving cage.
But despite the comfort, you felt frustrated.
"Stop…" You muttered, trying to push them off.
The two men responded with mumbled protests, their grips on your waist only getting tighter.
"Come on guys, you have work to do." You spoke, tiredly.
They both grumbled, starting to let go of you little by little.
"No offense," Ratio mumbled, his voice still thick with sleep, "But you smell like alcohol. Did you drink last night?" Aventurine opened his eyes slowly, looking up at you from his spot on your shoulder.
His voice was gentle but held a hint of concern. "Yeah, where'd you go?" He asked softly, rubbing at his eyes.
Great, just great.
You could already feel the hangover creeping in, and to add to your misery, there was a hint of concern in their voices.
You tried to brush it off, giving them a small smile.
"That doesn't matter…" You mumbled, avoiding both of their gazes. "What matters is you two have work to do."
Ratio sighed, letting his grip on you loosen completely. "We do have work, but we're more concerned about you," He said, propping himself up on his elbow.
Aventurine followed, propping himself up next to Ratio and looking at you with an expression that was a mix of concern and annoyance.
You suppressed the urge to roll your eyes. At the time they worried.
"I just needed some space." You replied, feeling like a child getting scolded, shifting slightly to try and sit up.
"Space, huh?" Aventurine said, his voice still slightly hoarse from sleep. "You could have at least told us where you were going."
Ratio chimed in as well, his voice carrying a hint of irritation. "Yeah, a warning would have been nice. We were worried about you."
This time you rolled your eyes quietly, but tried not to show them any obvious annoyance.
"I'm a grown adult," you retorted, a hint of defensiveness in your voice. "I can handle myself."
Ratio raised an eyebrow at you, his eyes searching your face. "That doesn't mean we're not going to worry." he said, his voice firm.
Aventurine sat up as well, propping himself up with one arm.
"It's not about you being able to handle yourself," he said, his voice a mixture of annoyance and concern. "We had no idea where you were."
Ratio nodded in agreement, running a hand through his messy hair.
"Oh. When I got home, they were sleeping peacefully." You said, with a hint of bitterness.
They both exchanged glances, the annoyance in their expressions not going unnoticed by you.
Ratio sighed, running a hand through his hair once more.
"That's not the point," he said, his voice still firm. "You were gone for hours. Do you have any idea how that feels?"
Aventurine joined in as well, his voice slightly more gentle than Ratio's. "We thought something might have happened to you."
You let out a heavy sigh, not saying anything.
Aventurine's voice still laced with concern. "You could have at least texted us."
Then he reached over and touched your arm gently. "It's just… we care about you. We want to know you're safe."
You bit back the urge to scoff at the hypocrisy.
"Yeah, well… I'm fine. See?" You gestured to yourself, trying to show that you were indeed in one piece.
You could feel the guilt creeping in, mixed with annoyance. Why did they suddenly care now?
"I just needed…", you paused, trying to find the right word to describe your current feelings. "space," you finished lamely.
Ratio and Aventurine exchanged a quick glance before looking back at you.
"Space from what?" Ratio asked, his tone slightly colder now.
You were starting to feel frustrated.
Why was it suddenly such a big deal? Why did they have to make such a big issue out of you needing some time alone?
"Space from…", you started to respond, but then you hesitated.
How could you possibly explain it to them without sounding needy or clingy?
You wanted to tell them what's been bothering you, but something held you back.
Maybe it was the guilt, maybe it was the fear of sounding like a needy child.
But before you could find the words, Ratio spoke up.
"Space from us, I presume." He said, his voice cool. "You needed space from us, didn't you?"
You felt a pang of guilt at Ratio's words, your heart clenching in your chest.
You tried to keep your expression neutral, but you could feel the emotions starting to bubble up inside of you.
"No," you lied, immediately. "It's not that."
Aventurine raised an eyebrow at your denial, his grip on your arm tightening slightly.
"Then what is it?" he asked, his voice carefully neutral.
You swallowed the lump in your throat.
"Ugh, please don't do this." You said grabbing your head. The hangover was starting to affect you harder, combining with the stress you felt now.
Ratio chuckled quietly, a sound that sent a shiver down your spine.
"Oh, so now we're being dramatic, huh?" he said, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.
Aventurine spoke up as well, his voice tinged with irritation. "We're not doing anything, we're just trying to understand what's going on with you."
Ratio leaned back, propping himself up against the headboard.
"You've been acting different lately," he said, his gaze focused on you. "More distant, less responsive."
You wanted to protest, to deny their accusations, but the words got stuck in your throat. They were right, and you knew they were right.
But you couldn't tell them why. Not yet, at least.
"I've just… been feeling a bit stressed," you replied vaguely, avoiding their gazes.
"Come on, don't give us that bullshit."
At Aventurine's words, your eyes widened slightly. He normally didn't say that kind of thing.
However, that didn't stop you from feeling uncomfortable and with a taste of pure bitterness in your mouth.
You proceeded to let out an unfunny laugh, as you got out of bed.
"My head hurts too much for this." You said, with some coldness in your tone as you left the room.
"You two should already be continuing with your work. That's why both came here." You raised your voice so they could hear you since you were heading towards the kitchen.
As they heard your words, Ratio and Aventurine exchanged a quick glance.
Ratio ran a hand through his hair, letting out a sigh.
"They are so damn… infuriating," he muttered, his annoyance evident.
Aventurine nodded, his expression mirrored Ratio's frustration. "I don't even know what's going on with them," he replied, running a hand over his face. "They are been acting weird for days now."
You could hear them both stirring in the bedroom, their voices lowered, but you knew they were talking about you.
"Probably bad things.", you thought.
You rubbed your temples as you entered the kitchen, the lights feeling brighter and only making your migraine worse.
You rummaged through the cabinets, looking for a painkiller or something, when you heard footsteps behind you.
"You shouldn't mix alcohol with pain killers, y'know," Ratio's voice was low and calm, but there was an edge to it.
You paused what you were doing, looking over your shoulder at him.
Ratio's face was set in a frown, and Aventurine's expression was stern.
He leaned against the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest, his expression unreadable.
You didn't respond, continuing to rummage through the cabinets in search of pain medication.
Ratio watched you silently for a moment, his eyes studying your every move.
"You're being stubborn," he said after a while, his voice neutral yet laced with annoyance.
"Thanks." You responded dryly, in a murmur.
Ratio rolled his eyes at your response, his annoyance growing visible.
"You know that's not what I meant," he sighed, running a hand through his hair once more.
It was becoming a tic of his.
Aventurine spoke up as well, his voice a bit calmer than Ratio's.
"You're acting like a child." He said, crossing his arms over his chest as well.
Oh, Aeons.
You felt frustrated by their words and by the pain in your head.
You slammed the cabinet shut with more force than necessary and turned to face them.
"Both should stop wasting time here and concentrate on your work." You spat, rubbing your head with both hands, you felt like it was going to explode at any moment.
Ratio raised an eyebrow at your sudden outburst, his expression slightly surprised.
"And there it is," he said, his voice tinged with sarcasm. "The real Y/N, finally decided to show up."
Aventurine watched you intently, his eyes scanning your face.
"Oh, because we're wasting time by trying to check on your well-being?" he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
Aventurine stayed silent, simply observing your interaction with Ratio. He was probably trying to figure out the best way to handle the situation.
Ratio took a couple steps closer to you, his gaze not leaving yours.
"You should stop being so goddamn stubborn and just talk to us." He said, his annoyance growing more noticeable.
Oh no. You started to feel the sudden urge to vomit. That was bad.
Your expression went from irritated to slightly dizzy.
"Guys, stop it, we can continue later." You said, as you grabbed onto the kitchen counter.
The nausea was the effect of the hangover and excessive stress you were feeling now.
Ratio immediately realized something was wrong as he noticed your expression changing. His annoyance was quickly replaced by concern.
"Y/N?" he asked, taking another step towards you, his eyes watching your hand clutching the counter.
Aventurine also moved closer, his gaze shifting between you and Ratio. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice laced with worry.
You swallowed hard, trying to suppress the nausea that was rising in your stomach. "I'm fine," you said weakly, but your trembling voice betrayed your words.
"Maybe I need—" Your words were cut off by the urgent need to throw up, causing you to cover your mouth, running towards the bathroom.
Ratio and Aventurine exchanged a quick glance before following hot on your heels. They hurried into the bathroom, just in time to see you hunched over the toilet, vomiting.
Ratio gently placed a hand on your back, rubbing soothing circles as you retched.
Aventurine appeared again in the doorway with a glass of water in hand.
"Here," Ratio said, grabbing the water from Aventurine and handing it to you. "Drink slowly."
You gripped the glass of water with trembling fingers, taking a few small sips as Ratio instructed. The cool liquid helped to soothe your burning throat.
After a while, your vomiting subsided, leaving you feeling even more weak and tired than before. You slumped back against Ratio, feeling completely drained and miserable.
"Sorry," you whispered, your voice raspy and weak.
Ratio shook his head, his hand still rubbing slow circles on your back. "Don't apologize," he said softly.
By the time you turned to look at Aventurine, he was gone.
You did the same to see Ratio who was next to you, he wasn't there either.
Oh, right. They were never here with you, they stayed in the kitchen. You never drank water, you never had your back rubbed.
You really wondered what the hell was wrong with you.
You stood up heavily from the ground, rinsing your mouth with the water from the tap, and flushing the toilet. Then with slow steps you returned to the bedroom.
You didn't care to know if they were still in the apartment.
You hated it when your body reacted to your stress.
They were engaged in hushed whispers, their voices too low for you to hear. They stayed in the kitchen, just like you thought.
When they saw you walk in the bedroom, they immediately stopped talking and turned to look at you.
Ratio's expression was a mix of concern and annoyance, his arms crossed over his chest. Aventurine, on the other hand, had a troubled look on his face, his brows furrowed in thought.
At least you would feel calm being alone in the apartment. Without showing each other affection every minute, in front of you, without giving you anything like that.
You climbed into bed, covering yourself with the covers, trying to relax.
A few minutes passed before Aventurine spoke out loud.
"Uhm, we're leaving, we'll be back soon." He said.
You heard the door open and close.
You were glad to hear the sound of the door closing behind, signaling that they were leaving. At least you could finally have some peace and quiet.
You closed your eyes and attempted to fall asleep, hoping to get some rest and recover from the hangover and the previous encounter.
You rested a little more, after a few hours you got up and tried to distract yourself.
You watched television, you played games on your phone, you ate the odd snack. That is until it got later.
While you were on the couch, you heard the door open. They had returned.
Ratio and Aventurine walked through the door, their expressions serious.
Aven, as usual, was the first to speak up. "Hey."
Hey, is that all they could say? It was as if they didn't realize that they were being insensitive.
But suddenly you were doing it too, so you ignored it.
Ratio spoke up as well, his expression slightly softer. "How are you feeling?"
You shrugged, not meeting their gaze. "Good." You replied coldly, trying to hide your annoyance.
Aventurine gave you a quick glance before sighing. "We brought food." He said, holding up a bag containing takeout food.
"Oh, uhm." You blurted out, feeling uncomfortable.
"Thank you, but I'm not very hungry." You got up from the couch, leaving the television on, while you stretched.
"I'm going out for a while again." You said, walking into the bedroom, and changing out of your sleepwear into something simple.
Ratio and Aventurine exchanged a quick glance as you left to change. They were both aware of the tension in the air and your mood.
Ratio let out a sigh.
"This is hopeless," he muttered, a hint of irritation in his voice.
Aventurine looked at Ratio, understanding his frustration.
"We just have to keep trying," he replied, though his voice had a tinge of uncertainty.
You left the room, going to put on your shoes, passing them.
"Well, I'll be right back." You said calmly.
Ratio couldn't help but roll his eyes at your words.
"Yeah, we'll see about that." He muttered under his breath. Aventurine gave him a stern look, silently warning him not to push things further. They both knew that this situation was quickly becoming a headache for all three of you.
You finished putting your shoes on and grabbed your keys, leaving the house without saying another word.
They watched as you closed the door behind you. The silence in the apartment became thick and uncomfortable. The television was on, being the only sound that could be heard.
This type of situation happened, once, twice, three times. And more.
A little routine of yours, like you try not to be in the apartment when they are there too.
Waking up tired and dizzy, saying cold and boring words between the three of them, waiting for hours for them to return and once they did, you went to the bar, returning hours later, tripping over things in the apartment, falling asleep on the couch or in bed.
And it was repeated, again.
Again, and again, and again, and again.
The cycle seemed endless, caught in a loop that seemed impossible to break.
Ratio and Aventurine were frustrated, frustrated by the walls you had built around yourself and the communication issues that prevented you from opening up.
They wanted to help you, but they didn't know how to approach the situation. They couldn't help but feel like they were doing something wrong.
But no, that couldn't be, they knew they weren't doing anything wrong. Right?
Ratio and Aventurine sat in silence for a while, both lost in thought. They knew they needed to address the situation, but it was hard, especially since you were avoiding them.
"I hate this," Ratio finally spoke up, breaking the silence. "I hate that they are behaving like this."
Aventurine nodded, a frustrated expression on his face. "I know." He said, holding Ratio's hand.
It was already nearing midnight, and there was no sign of you returning home, again.
The atmosphere was thick with tension and frustration. They had been talking about you, again.
This time they would wait for you, they were not going to rest until they could talk to you once and for all and stop making you avoid the conversation.
"I feel like we're going around in circles." Ratio spoke up again. "Every time we try to talk to them, they shuts us out. It's like they are not even trying."
Aventurine squeezed Ratio's hand, trying to comfort him. "There must be a reason why they are acting like this," he said, although even he seemed doubtful.
Ratio let out a bitter laugh. "Is there? Because I can't think of one that makes sense."
They waited, and waited, and waited.
Time dragged on slowly, tick, tock, tick, tock, the clock seemed to move slower every second.
They waited with anticipation and expectation, sitting motionless on the couch, their eyes fixed on the front door.
And then, finally, they heard the jingle of keys, the sound of the door opening, and your footsteps entering.
Ratio and Aventurine immediately sat up straight, turning to look at you as you stepped inside.
As a matter of course, you were drunk.
Ratio and Aventurine couldn't help but notice the way you swayed slightly as you walked, a slight flush on your cheeks betraying your intoxication.
Ratio let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair as he looked at you. "Where have you been all night?" he asked, his voice betraying his annoyance.
Aventurine, sensing the tension in the room, stayed silent but placed a calming hand on Ratio's arm, hoping to soothe the situation.
"Having fun." You said, smiling a little.
Ratio's eyes narrowed at your response. "Having fun? Is that what you call it? Drinking yourself into oblivion every day?"
Aventurine shot Ratio a look, silently urging him to calm down. Him speaking this time.
"We're worried about you, you know that?" he continued, his voice rising. "We—"
"Hah, like you said—don't give me that bullshit." Your voice came out almost with spit words.
Your mind was fuzzy.
Ratio clenched his fists, his irritation growing. "We're not giving you bullshit. We care about you, damnit."
You chuckled bitterly, your words slurring slightly. "Yeah, I'm sure you care, but only when it suits you both."
Ratio's eyes widened at your response, his anger rising. "Excuse me?"
"We're the ones who should be getting pissed off here. You're the one who's been acting like a complete mess."
Aventurine tried to interject again. "Ratio, this isn't—"
But Ratio wasn't having it. "No, Aven. They needs to hear this." He turned back to you. "You've been avoiding us, avoiding everything, and for what? So you can go get drunk every night?"
"Yeah, exactly. Because being around you two is so damn great." You retorted, sarcasm dripping from your tone.
Ratio's expression darkened even further, his next words cutting through the air like a dagger.
"Oh, is that right? I guess being with us is so unbearable that you have to go out and get drunk every night instead of staying here and facing your own damn problems."
Your eyes narrowed at Ratio's words, your own anger starting to boil over.
"Yeah, because it's better than dealing with your bullshit all the time."
Ratio let out a bitter laugh. "Bullshit? You think we're bullshitting you? We're the ones who've been putting up with your crap, your avoiding us, your reckless behavior."
Your eyes widened at Ratio's harsh words, hurt flashing across your face.
"You have no idea what you're talking about," you said angrily, your voice shaking. "You have no idea how I feel."
Ratio scoffed, his irritation reaching a boiling point. "Oh, really? Then why don't you enlighten us? Why do you feel the need to drink every night?"
"Seriously, you can tell us." Aventurine said, his brow now furrowed, a mix of worry and frustration on his face.
You let out a scoff, your words coming out in a rush. "And what, you want me to spill my heart out to you two, like it's some kind of therapy session? I didn't realize I was dealing with a couple of psychologists here."
Ratio let out a bitter laugh. "Well, it's not like you're giving us anything else to work with. You just keep drinking yourself into oblivion every night, avoiding us, avoiding any kind of conversation."
You clenched your fists, your frustration turning into anger. "Oh, aren't both of you so perfect?"
Ratio's expression hardened. "Don't try to turn this around on us. We never said we were perfect, but at least we're trying to communicate and have a conversation. You're the one who's refusing to listen or talk to us."
Aventurine interjected, his voice laced with concern. "Y/N, please. We just want to help you. We don't—"
"Help me?" You snapped, again cutting Aventurine off.
"Hey, watch your tone." Ratio said, at the shout you gave to Aventurine.
"Hah, just that.", You thought, looking at them with anger and irritation.
Your anger flared, your words coming out in a frustrated hiss. "Oh, and I'm supposed to believe that you really want to help me? Please. You're both probably just worried that I'm gonna ruin your perfect little lives."
Ratio's eyes widened at your accusation, stung by your words. "Is that really what you think of us? That we only care about ourselves?"
Aventurine spoke up again, his voice pleading. "No, that's not true at all. We care about you. We care about us."
"Yeah, right." You replied bitterly, crossing your arms.
Ratio's face twisted into a scowl. "We're just as messed up as you are. We have our own issues and problems to deal with. We don't need you acting like this, avoiding us, drinking excessively—"
"Yeah, because I'm the ONLY ONE who's being problematic, right?" You interrupted, sarcasm lacing your words. "Just because I don't sit next to both of you and start to fucking endure how both are so loving and happy between ONLY the two of you, I'm wrong here, huh?"
Ratio's jaw clenched tightly, his temper rising at your accusations.
"That's bullshit and you know it. We're a team, a relationship. We're supposed to be in this together, working through things together."
You felt the growing lump in your throat. "Fuck, no. We're not a team anymore, it's just you being a fucking couple."
You clenched your fists, trying to calm the wave of emotions that was washing over you.
Ratio's expression hardened at your words, his own emotions warring with his irritation.
"What the hell do you mean we're not a team anymore? We're still together, we're still—"
You cut him off, your voice trembling with anger and hurt. "No, we're not. Not really. Not when you both spend all your time together, sharing moments, laughing, even in sex."
Ratio's eyes widened at your words, hurt evident on his face.
"Is that really what you think?" he asked, his voice low. "That we're just a couple and that you're not a part of us anymore?"
Aventurine's face fell, his expression pained. "No, that's not true. You're just as much a part of this relationship as we are."
"I'm just a third wheel," you said bitterly. "That's what I've always been."
Even though your words affected them, Ratio couldn't help but get more frustrated.
"And whose fault is that, huh? Whose fault is it that you keep pushing us away, that you keep avoiding us, that you keep getting drunk every damn night instead of dealing with the problem?"
You clenched your fists even tighter, your nails digging into your palms.
"Oh, so now it's MY fault, huh? It's MY fault that I feel left out, ignored, and sidelined?"
You didn't know if you wanted to laugh or cry at what he was saying.
"Yeah…maybe it's my fault." You spoke again, feeling your eyes sting. At any moment they would be filled with tears.
"It's my damn fault that both have sex secretly from me, it's my fault that both knew each other before, it's my fault that both are more affectionate with each other, it's my damn fault that both know each other much more than you two know me!"
And that's it, with that, your voice cut off. Being unable to see both men's faces as tears clouded your vision.
Ratio's expression softened at the sight of your tears, his irritation momentarily forgotten.
It was true, he and Aventurine had been more affectionate with each other lately. But that wasn't because they didn't care about you, it was just…
No, there really were no words to deny or defend the accusations.
He sighed, trying to find the words to explain themselves. "Look, we didn't mean for it to be like that. It just happened."
Aventurine spoke up, his voice soft. "We never wanted you to feel left out or ignored. We care about you, we really do."
Ratio stepped closer as well, his expression conflicted between anger and concern. "Y/N, we never wanted you to feel left out. That was never our intention."
But your emotions were running high.
"Then what was your intention, huh? To make me feel like an outsider in my own relationship?"
They both stayed silent, not knowing how to respond to that.
"That is what I thought." You blurted out, in frustration.
Ratio pinched the bridge of his nose, his expression shifting to frustration and guilt.
"That's not what we wanted, that's never what we wanted."
You let out a bitter, unfunny laugh, "Oh, shut it."
You were shaking, you really wanted to just not feel like that.
"It's always you two. Always Aventurine and Ratio. Always Kakavasha and Veritas."
"Fuck all that." You spat, as your tears began to come out like waterfalls.
"Where the hell was I there?" You sobbed, covering your face with both hands. You felt humiliated to be seen crying like that.
"I hate it so much." You mumbled, without a hint of stopping your crying.
Ratio's heart ached at the sight of your tears, realizing the depth of your emotional pain.
Aventurine stood beside him, visibly upset as well.
"Y/N, please…" He tried to reach out to you, his hand hovering in the air.
But you flinched away from his touch, your body shrinking back as more tears streamed down your face.
"Don't." You warned, your voice choked with sobs. "Don't touch me."
Ratio and Aventurine stood there, feeling helpless as they watched you cry.
"We never wanted to make you feel like this."
"You're lying." You retorted, your voice raw from crying.
Aventurine shook his head, his expression pleading. "No, that's not true. We love you, we truly do."
Ratio's hands were shaking slightly, torn between wanting to comfort you and respecting your wish not to be touched.
Aventurine looked like he was on the verge of tears as well, his shoulders slumped with guilt.
Ratio said softly. "We never meant for it to be this way."
But your words cut through the air between you all.
"Then why did it happen?" You asked, your voice laced with pain and anguish.
Ratio's jaw clenched as he struggled to find the words to explain.
"It just…happened." He said weakly. "We got caught up in our own relationship and didn't realize that we were neglecting you."
Aventurine nodded alongside him. "We messed up. We should have paid more attention to you, made more of an effort to include you in our activities."
Ratio winced, knowing how hollow those words sounded.
"But just because we made a mistake doesn't mean we don't care about you." Ratio was quick to add.
You let out a bitter chuckle through sniffles and sobs.
"…That 'mistake' is 3 fucking years old." You spoke in a muffled manner. Breathing heavily.
How they left you aside is not recent, it had been years. The bomb was accumulating until today it exploded.
The reality of the situation hit Ratio and Aventurine hard.
Three years. Three years of ignoring your emotions and needs. Three years of putting their own relationship before you, despite claiming that you were all equal in this relationship.
Both felt a pang of guilt and shame in their chest. How could they have let it go on for so long without realizing the harm they were causing you?
Aventurine looked equally devastated, his face pale and his eyes downcast.
"We…we never realized…" He began, his voice choked with emotion.
Ratio, seeing Aventurine's almost tearful state, rubbed his back slowly.
Ratio's head was spinning, trying to figure out how it had come to this. They had always thought that they were in a healthy and happy relationship. But clearly, they had failed to consider the impact their actions were having on you.
He looked at you, still crying and curled up on yourself. The guilt and remorse gnawed at his insides. He and Aventurine had been fools, blinded by their own selfishness and neglectful behavior.
Aventurine spoke up suddenly, his voice shaky. "Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you tell us how you felt?"
Ratio's eyes widened slightly. That was a fair question. Why hadn't you spoken up before now?
But he immediately realized the answer to that question. If you had tried to bring it up, how would they have reacted? Would they have dismissed your feelings, or maybe gotten defensive?
With your breath coming in ragged gasps, your body trying to catch the air lost through crying, you let out slight hiccups.
With one of your hands you wiped your wet cheeks.
Your head was beginning to ache from the alcohol in your veins and the dehydration from crying.
"Ah…it doesn't really matter anymore." You said, your voice hoarse.
And you were right, there was no point in questioning why, if you'd finished getting everything out that you'd been holding in for so long.
You felt their worried and trembling looks, you felt ashamed and humiliated for having exploded in such a way, your sobs had faded into sniffles and deep breathing.
They both listened to your words with a sinking feeling in their stomachs. Your voice was hoarse and strained, but the message was clear: you'd given up.
You stretched slightly in your seat, starting to walk towards the bedroom.
You wanted to simply rest from it all.
"I'm going to go to sleep now." You said, passing by both of their sides.
The conversation, or rather argument, had not ended well and just expressing yourself left you completely exhausted.
They both knew that they hadn't solved anything, that they'd done nothing more than reveal just how distant they had become from you.
Before you disappeared from his sight, Aven called out to you, making you turn around for a while.
"We love you, sweetheart."
That simple phrase made you let out a silent sigh.
As much as you wanted to smile at least a little, it only came out as a grimace.
"Uhm…okay, I guess." You said, not really feeling his words.
They felt totally empty.
You turned your head again, walking into the bedroom. Your mind was spinning, your thoughts were varying, the same with your feelings, they were all jumbled.
But at least one thing was clear to you; trios never work and never will.
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