#instead of taking time to think about this i just vomitted it out there

[logansargeantsbabymom]

Hi could you please write an imagine for the f1 boys (mainly Charles, lando, Pierre, Charles) where they surprise the reader at work and she works in childcare. Thank you

Hey pretty, thank you for the request <3!

Work Surprises with the F1 Boys

A/N: I did make this where Y/N has different occupations working with children so it's not the boring same old same old for every driver. I hope that's okay!

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F1 Masterlist

Charles Leclerc: Pediatrician

I woke up at the same time I have for the past 3 years as I would everyday to get ready for work, at 5:30am. Now I was never and never will be a morning person but I absolutely love my job because it involves me helping kids whether they're sick or just need to get a physical for a school field trip.

I felt my boyfriend stir in his sleep next to me as I tried to sneak out of bed. My attempt of sneaking out though failed as I felt the strong arm of my boyfriend wrap around my waist and yanked me against his body. "Mmmm, don't leave" my boyfriend, Charles whispered against the crook of my neck, which caused me to shiver at the sudden breath hitting my skin.

"Baby, I have to get ready for work." I said as I ran a hand through his messy hair

A groan left his mouth before he continued, "Call out sick" his grip on my waist tightening as he snuggled closer to me to fall back asleep

"No Charles, I have too many appointments today and I won't have any cover. I'll be back soon though, remember the office closes early because it's the 4th of July?" that seemed to persuade him enough because I felt his grip loosen a bit and I took that as my queue to slip out before he had enough time to change his mind.

-

I'd only been at work for about 2 hours and I've seen about 24 patients and attempted to finish some paperwork but every time I get the second to sit down and start the papers, a new patient needs to be seen. I think the last time I've been more stressed in my life than I am right now was back when I was waiting for my score to see if I passed my pediatric exam to get my license and that because I have a waiting room of 6 more patients and all the other doctors and nurses are busy.

I can only thank the heavens because the next patient I had to see turned out to be quadruplets, which would save a significant amount of time on my behalf. Once I called the patients and led them to the room where I closed the door before asking the most important question any doctor could every ask.

"Who's Nicky, Ricky, Dicky and Dawn?" I was slightly annoyed with myself as I finished my question because anyone could tell who Dawn was so I could've easily excluded her from the question.

"I'm Nicky, that's Dicky, and that's Ricky. Dawn obviously is the only girl here so" Nicky said

"Right, well who wants to get their shots first?" I said as I looked at the pan of 8 needles. Each kid needed a flu shot and a hep b shot but as I looked around the already crowed room, none of the kids wanted to volunteer first.

With an unamused look on her face, Dawn reluctantly agreed to go first. It only took about 10 minutes to give all 4 kids their shots and when the last kid got his shot, they all bolted out of the room.

"I'm sorry about them, they hate needles" was all the mom said before she left to follow her kids.

-

It's now 11:55am and the last patient is just about to leave before we close for an hour to have lunch "Okay, if the meds aren't working for your son after about a week, I would come back but if he develops a fever and starts vomiting while taking it, I would suggest taking him to the emergency room." I said as I guided the new mom and her 3 year old daughter to the front lobby.

As soon as the last patient left, I locked the door before making my way to my office to attempt to get some of my paperwork done during my hour break instead of eating.

I was walking back to receptionist desk where I kept my paperwork so I could take them back to my office, only to find it not there. A look of confusion plastered on my face as I continued to look for my missing paperwork. I frustrated groan left my mouth as I realized I'd have to restart all that work.

"I hope you really weren't about to skip lunch for work mon cherie"

A gasp slips past my lips as I quickly turned around to see my boyfriend standing there with a stack of files in one hand and bag of Chinese food in the other.

"Charles!" I said as I walked over to him and took my paperwork back "I thought someone stole these! You scared me!" I placed my hand over my heart and I took deep breaths to try and regulate my heartbeat.

"Sorry, mon coeur but I had to take them because I knew you were going to skip lunch again." A baffled look played across my face because how did he know I have been skipping my lunch breaks to get paperwork done?

"Your coworkers have been telling me you're not eating at work. You can't tell kids to eat to grow and be strong and then not take your own advice. I'm here to make sure that you eat today so I'm making it a little lunch date. Sit and eat."

Lando Norris: Kindergarten teacher

"Ms. L/N, my dad told me that you're dating a famous wace car dwiver, is that twue?" my one student, who's name I just learn was Leo asked me.

Today was meet the teacher day at the school I taught at just 2 weeks before the first day of school and this question was very different than the ones I've been asked before. I looked up at the single dad behind him as I let out a little chuckle

"Why yes I am Leo, is your dad a fan?" I asked as I knelt to be at level with him

"Uh huh! He woves the orwange one!" I've always had a soft spot for kids and right now Leo is making my heart melt.

I didn't have a chance to respond before he ran over to his dad to tell him the good news. I got pulled aside by a parent who told me about an allergy her kid had to a specific cleaning chemical which I made a note of to avoid using in my classroom. I stuck the sticky note on my computer screen before hearing "MS L/N, YOUR BOYFRWEND HERE!" I could recognize that voice as little Leo's.

My head shot up to look at the door and sure enough, my very famous Formula 1 driver boyfriend was there with a bag full of school supplies and gift bags filled with goodies for the kids.

"Kids, I've got presents!!" Lando shouted which caused a little sea of 5-6 year olds kids ran over him making little grabby hands.

Once all the kids got their little baggy of toys, Lando talking to Leo's dad and I answered more questions, the classroom started to empty as Meet The Teacher time ended. The room fell in a comfortable silence as I started to clean up and organize all the supplies I was gifted today.

"Have you ever thought of having a kid or two?" Lando asked, my body tensed at the question

"I dunno, I haven't thought about it. Have you?" I asked as I looked him in the eyes.

"Everyday since we started dating."

Carlos Sainz: School Counselor

"Listen Jess, I can't keep getting you out of trouble. You have to stop getting attitudes with teachers over a small issue." I said with a sigh as I had to deal with a troubled 14 year old freshman for the 4th time this week and it only being Tuesday.

"It's not my fault Ms. Jones was being a bitch to me." Jess said as she shrugged and slouched back in the seat she was in.

"Jess! You can't go around calling your teacher a bitch!" I scolded

"I will if they're being bitches!" Jess shouted

The ring of my school phone is what prevented me from further scolding the student sat in front of me

"Ms L/N's office" I started as I listened to the person on the other line "Okay, tell him to sit at the door of my office while I finish up with this student I have now. Okay, thank you. Bye bye" I hung up the phone before turning my attention back to Jess.

"Do you have another student?" she questioned

"I have another meeting, yes, but you're my top priority right now." I said as I readjusted my position in my chair

"To be honest, I cause these problems because I need someone to talk to and I feel most comfortable with you." Jess admitted as she looked down at her lap

"Jess," I started sympathetically "How about this, once a week we will have a 20 minute meeting to talk about anything and everything you want?" I compromised, which got a nod from her.

I watched as Jess left my office, I attempted to clean my desk a little before bringing my other meeting in before hearing Jess' voice

"Woah, you're hot. Are you a teacher?" before I could questioned who she's talking to I heard a thick Spanish accent answer her question

"No, I just have a meeting with Y/N." Disbelief spread across my face as I recognized the voice. There was no way that voice belonged to who I thought it did to.

I quickly ran outside my office where I was met with the most beautiful man on planet earth and who I was proud to call my boyfriend.

"CARLOS?!" I shouted as I jumped in his arms before planting a kiss to his lips

"Sorry for calling your boyfriend hot Ms. L/N" Jess said before she walked away

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" I asked as he put me down but not breaking the hug

"We have the week off before the Miami Grand Prix so I wanted to surprise you." Carlos whispered as he kissed my temple

"Well, consider me surprised" I mumbled against his lips before littering his face in kisses.

Lewis Hamilton: Peds surgeon

I’m currently on hour 8 of my 12 hour hospital shift and I’ve never been more exhausted in my life. I’ve performed 2 surgeries today and I still have one more lined up, now don’t get me wrong, I love my job and everything that comes with it. The ups, the downs, all of it.

I’ve finally finished up a post-op check up with one of my patients before hearing my stomach growl, I sent one of my trusted nurse friends to do the post op check up on the other patient while I grabbed a quick bite before my next surgery.

When I got to the cafeteria, I got a sandwich and sat down with another one of my friends while I scarfed my food down.

“So what’d you do today?” My trauma surgeon friend, Nalani asked as she took a bite of the sandwich she got

“I had to fix a bowel in one kid and another one swallowed a whole bunch of magnetic balls so I had to remove those. One balls tried to stick to the other and pierced an intestine so I had to fix that up. What about you?” I asked a I took another big bite of my food

“Oh well two people came in impaled in the chests with a long rod. Had to separate them, they both survived. It was a real miracle of God because when the images were taken, it looked like neither one of them were gonna survive.”

-

I’d been prepping for my last surgery of the day before I finally get to clock out and not worry about coming back for the next 4 days.

I walked into the OR getting suited up before noticing a figure in the amphitheater which caused me to look out of pure curiosity. Looking up I was locking eyes with the most handsomest man Ive ever seen in my whole life, who just so happened to be my fiancé.

“What is Lewis doing here?” I questioned the surgical intern

“He said he really missed you. The chief of surgery gave him clearance to be there, I think he promised to autograph a whole bunch of things for him and his kids?”

“That sounds like something Lewis would agree to” I giggled as I started to walk to the head of the table before hearing over the intercom

“Good luck with this surgery darling, I love you.”

“I love you too” was all I whispered before starting my last surgery of the day.

Daniel: Summer Camp Director

“Alright everybody, can I have your attention please?” I shouted as I glanced around the room filled with 10-15 year olds.

This is my 3rd summer being a Camp Counselor and I have to admit that I always have a blast here.

“Thank you. My name is Ms. L/N, and I’m the main counselor here at Camp Kikiwaka and I’m going to be going over everything that we’re going to be doing here over the course of the summer and you then I’ll open the floor to you guys so you can ask me questions, okay?”

I heard a sea of “Yes” “Okay” “Got it” before I continued. It only took about 45 minutes to go over the expectations at Camp Kikiwaka and the summer itinerary, “Okay, now does anyone have any questions?” A small hand shot up the second I finished my question

“I thought the big kid camp was the building?” a little girl said

“Yes it is, the camp section for older kids is right next door, why? Do you have a sibling over there?” I questioned as I looked at the little girl in front of me

“So who’s that man and why is he smiling at you?” okay, that was scary at all.

Before I could register who she was talking about I heard an older boy say “That’s Daniel Ricciardo!! What is Daniel Ricciardo doing here?!” which caused me to shoot around to see if he’s actually here.

“Hello guys! Don’t mind me, I’m just here to be your counselor’s assistant for the next week and a half” Daniel said as he walked over to me and engulfed me in a hug, swaying us side to side before placing a quick kiss on my temple.

“What are you doing here?” I whispered, looking up at him to stare in his beautiful eyes

“We have two weeks before the next race so I thought I’d volunteer my time here. I already got permission” Daniel said as he cupped my face.

Turning around I let the kids know the news “Okay guys so this is my boyfriend and your guys’ new camp counselor for a week and a half, Mr. Ricciardo! You guys can go up to him and ask him questions just as you are able to come to me!”

“You guys can call me Daniel, there’s no need for formality. Alrighty, any questions?” Daniel corrected me

“HOW CAN I BE YOUR ASSISTANT IN FORMULA 1????” The older boy shouted which caused Daniel to let out a loud laugh before he answered the question.

This was going to be a fun week and a half.

Pierre: Therapist

To say that today has been stressful would be an understatement. The lady who was in charge of booking my appointments scheduled who people at the same time and then proceeded to fill my schedule today so I couldn’t place the poor girl anywhere so I did the only logical thing anyone would do: I skipped lunch.

Well skipping lunch obviously wasn’t the best idea ever because just about 4 patients after lunchtime is when my headache started settling in, right in that spot behind my eyes. God I hated headaches so much but I despised them even more at work because how am I supposed to be helping my patients if I can’t even think straight.

To make matters worse than they already were, the headache went from just being pulsing behind my eyes to throbbing every time I moved my head in the slightest moment. Thank god this meeting ended quicker than intended and I had 15 minutes before my next patient was to walk in which gave me time to pop a few ibuprofen’s and let it settle in, in hopes that this would go away before the next one walks in.

I must’ve drifted off because two seconds after popping the ibuprofen’s there’s a knock at the door. I suppressed my groan before letting out a weak “Come in!”

I heard the door open but I just couldn’t bring myself to lift my head up

“Woah, you look like shit.” I heard a thick french accent say as the person let out a little giggle.

I knew who the voice belonged to, the owner was my longtime boyfriend who I haven’t seen in 3 weeks but right now, I couldn’t even be excited because I was in pain.

“Pierre please, I love you but right now I have such a massive headache. I feel like I’m going to pass out.” I mumbled into my hands

“Did you eat? I brought food.” He said as he lifted up the bag of french food that he claimed I “needed” to try.

I reluctantly lifted my head so I was able to take a bite or two out of the food. After a few bites I could slowly feel my headache going away, letting out a satisfied groan I continued to dig into my meal.

“You look like you haven’t eaten in days” Pierre chuckled as he watched me absolutely scarf down the food he placed in front of me.

“I feel like I haven’t” was all I managed to get out before I finished my food.

By the time my next appointment arrived, my headache was nothing but a slight throb behind my eyes which I was eternally grateful for.

I made a mental note to thank Pierre in different ways when I got home.

Logan: Speech Therapy

I’d been working with this kid to say ‘Water’ for the past 20 minutes and I’m nowhere with him.

I work with kids who have trouble talking and I get them to where they need to be at whatever age they are. Like if the kid is 4 years old and isn’t talking, I have to work a lot with the kids to make sure that I can get him to talk and be at a 4 year old’s level of communication.

Something about this 4 year old though, I just can’t get him to say ‘Water’ no matter how hard I try. I glanced up at the clock noting that it’s almost lunch time and I would have to end our session soon.

“L/N, your boyfriend is here and he brought food for all of us!” My coworker Destiny said

“Logan, can you help me? I can’t get him to say ‘Water’ and I’ve been trying for the last 20 minutes” I’m pleading with anyone at this point to at least help me get some type of progress done with him.

I watched as Logan got at level with the kid before attempting his own way “Hey buddy, can you say ‘water’?” after a second of silence he tried again “say ‘wah’.”

“Wah” my body tensed at the kid talking

“ good! now say ‘ter’.”

“Ter” I can’t believe he’s doing it

“Yes! ‘water’ !”

“AMERICA”

“WHAT THE FUCK?”

Lance: Nanny

“Baby why are you here?” I shot around to face my boyfriend

“When the fuck did you get here?” I asked in disbelief

“I missed you. How about we dip?” The nerve of this handsome man.

“Lance, I’m babysitting YOURE NIECE because YOU didn’t want to”

“I’ll pay my sister to take her kid back”

“Jesus”

Oscar: Librarian

“Excuse me Ms, do you have the Pete the Cat book? Me and my friend really want to read it. Please” I heard a little girl say.

I looked down at her before typing in my computer to see exactly where in the store it was at.

“Yes, you can follow me right this way and I’ll take you to them!” I said as I made my way over to where the books were placed. “They’re right here then. Just come up and let me know if you need anymore help!” I said as I watched her and her friends grab different books before going over to the bean bags to sit and read.

Back at my desk I was trying to place pre-orders for the new Ana Huang book coming out. I only got to the part where I could place the amount I wanted in my cart before I was being asked a question

“Do you guys have the King Of series? My girlfriend really wants to read them.” I looked up from my computer only to be faced with my Fiancé of 6 months

“Oscar?? What are you doing here?” I asked in disbelief

“I was in the area. Okay well I was a few cities away but it was only a hour drive” He said shrugging

“You’re so weird. The books are this way” I said as I grabbed a hold of his hands to guide him the way to my favorite Authors section.

Max: Nutritionist

“Okay Mom so you want to make sure that baby gets as much veggies in his system and more water, Santa said he only puts kids on the nice list if they listen to their mom and eat what she gives.” I said as I directed that last part to her 5 year old son who scrunched his face before hiding behind his mom.

“See Chase, I told you that Santa said that. He didn’t want to believe that Mommy has ties with Santa.” She smiled at the last part before picking her son up to take him out. “Thank you again, Chase is going to eat his veggies, right Chase?”

“No!” he yelled

“Do you want to be big and strong?” A thick Dutch accent could be heard

“Uh huh!!” Chase replied

“We’ll eat veggies. That’s the only way.” I turned to see my boyfriend Max in the doorway of my office.

“Otay!”

“Oh well that was one way.” The mom shrugged

“Have a good day!” I shouted as she left “I don’t know how you did that”

“Kids love me”

“oh that’s not-”

George: Sports Coach

“RUN THE FUCKING LAPS NOW!!!” I screamed at the kids in front of me

To the outside world I would seem crazy for yelling at a bunch of kids like this but in reality, I’m coaching my brother and his bastard friends soccer team this season and they bet me $20 I wouldn’t say that in front of their parents, so that was a quick $20 I put in my pocket.

“CURSING AT KIDS NOW BABE?” My boyfriend George asked.

He was helping me coach them this year and he’s a really do-by-the-book type of guy and he really disapproved of me cursing at the kids.

“Sorry baby, they deserve it. They said that you’re too bad to be in F1” I said shrugging as I made up that lie

“RUN 2 FUCKING MILES NOW!!”

taglist:

@luckyladycreator2 @itsmiamalfoy @jeffs77 @ilivbullyingjeongin @forevercaffeinated-lee @daemyratwst @gulphulp @callsignwidow @f1wintermoon13 @teenwolf01 @victoriassecret101 @hiireadstuff @formulaal @eddieharrington @kazza72584 @zabwlky1999 @dark-night-sky-99 @rougekiki @xoscar03 @jess-wither @bountychanti @dhanihamidi @Ggasly.p @tellybearryyyy @a-panseuxalmess @love-simon @tallrock35 @iiaik0ii @Milkyymelanine @ilovsyou3000morgan

[silvexus]

Re: Sometimes feeling species dysphoria as someone who doesn't ID as non-human - would you be willing to expand on that? It's okay if not - I don't want to pry - but I've never heard of someone having that experience before and think it might be valuable to the overall conversation.

That said the comparison to cis folks sometimes experiencing gender dysphoria makes intuitive sense to me, too.

Sure! I'll try my best to figure out how to articulate this in a way that makes sense and is also respectful (as someone who doesn't ID as non-human, I obviously do not want to appropriate experiences!) but I do fear it may not be as interesting as it sounds.

This got really long, so I'm putting in a read more, oops!

For clarification, I experience psychosis (since childhood) and have neurological disorders. I think the combination of these things is what causes what I'm about to try to describe, though I would certainly not try to say that the only thing that can cause species dysphoria is this sort of experience, nor would that would make someone's experience any less valid if they chose to ID as non-human if they were in a similar situation. Everyone is different, after all!

Primarily, this thing I equate to species dysphoria manifests as two different things that I tend to describe as non-human body language and non-organic yearning.

Non-human body language isn't as encompassing as I'd like it to be, but it's hard to articulate. My limbs don't feel right sometimes; disproportionate to each other, maybe. My spine feels wrong; too short, maybe? That could be the scoliosis causing both of these things, but it happens in my arms sometimes too. I don't know what it wants to be, however. There's ways my body wants to move to convey ideas to others than I can't emulate properly. My vocal mimicry is good, but not good enough, though I wouldn't really tell you what calls I'm supposed to make. I do trill a lot, when I can.

My teeth aren't quite sharp enough, I know that. And would a tail help? Would upright, pointy ears? A crest of feathers? I wouldn't mind a crest, I think, but then the moment passes and what I have is... acceptable. Fine. I am here, in this place, and my nerves are made of fire.

In a more permanent fashion, I bunt people to show my affection, but even when I physically can't it is a constant urge. (I nearly broke poor @/sattarehi asking if I could bunt him.) It's easier to move on all fours sometimes, or just in ways that are unintuitive to a human blueprint. To curl around people while we're sitting on the edge of a bed, them sitting up, me on my side to encircle them, in a way I don't see others doing often. The way I hold my arms sometimes feels like the resting position of something else; holding them at my sides like a person is expected to feels wrong, like it'll impede my ability to flee if I need to. (From what? Is that the paranoia? The hypervigilance? The nerves again? The various and sundry neurodivergencies?) When I'm socially allowed to cross my arms it helps, but it's not quite perfect.

Sometimes, the fact that I cannot do these things more effectively (though my brain does not grant me the knowledge of what that would look like), that I am considered eccentric and strange for doing them at all, pulls at something in me that doesn't speak in any language I have access to.

As an aside that may only slightly be relevant, my social integration is interesting. People who are friends or close associates or even people I think of fondly become extensions of us in a way that isn't so much possessive, but in the same way a tight knit family group might be among certain animals. (Which is why when people ask 'do you experience romantic love?' I can't honestly say. This is already quite intense, you want me to try and define it further?) And that's to say nothing of the prey drive. The human prey drive is intense enough, and I can certainly repress it well (I can't believe PvP games were good for something) but mine feels a little overtuned.

... So the non-organic yearning is fun to try and figure out, but it provokes the same feelings, so I'll try to articulate it just in case it helps!

It feels like I am made of something deeper. Something farther. Here, there, everywhere. I feel like I am floating adrift in a dark sea, unable to drown or sink, though surely I must. Surely I must. And yet.

It isn't an invincibility. It isn't a belief in a higher power or an afterlife. For the sake of my health, I cannot believe in these things. (We shan't talk about my childhood delusions, but they were quite elaborate! You could tell I was into world religions as study subject as a child.)

But sometimes I look into the sky and feel it staring back, like I am stuck in a Polaroid that an old friend keeps looking at to remember me. I look at pictures from all of our instruments that turn into the infinite dark beyond our planet and my brain thinks I want to go home the same way I do when I see my hometown on a map. I am not from here, something in me insists. I am from nowhere, but I am certainly not from here. Is that the intergenerational trauma? The thing that infects you and fills in where your grandparents' language and food and culture is supposed to be? The remains of what a war before you were born left behind? Or is it something else?

It feels like something else, the same way sometimes my body feels wrong in the same, but different, way that it always feels wrong. It feels like whatever I am, separate from this meat suit and these mutinous neurotransmitters, is from somewhere else. That it knows this. That it wants to go back.

Not all of my body dysmorphia is neatly gender dysphoria. Species dysphoria, as a term, helps gather these experiences up neatly, even if I don't identify as non-human. I am human. I am a strange, eccentric human, even if I feel like Something Else Wearing A Human Skin, but ultimately human regardless. Despite that, almost. Maybe, in a strange, contradictory way, I'm both. Human is what I want to be, at the end of this day. But regardless, it does help me understand things a bit more than someone who doesn't have the same experiences, I think. And maybe this will change in the future as my understanding of myself grows! I'm a whole adult, but I'm growing every day, you know?

(You know that book, Casual Rex? And they made it into a show pilot/TV movie called Anonymous Rex? And it was about dinosaurs barely surviving their extinction and pretending to be human and they wore disguises to blend in? There's a scene where a character describes another character as "she's a human pretending to be a dinosaur pretending to be a human!" Life feels like that sometimes.)

[saetoru]

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩ STRAWBERRY FLAVORED — GETO SUGURU.

contents. here is a lil prequel to this btw, basically this is suguru’s shower scene but if he actually had someone to take care of him, reverse comfort, aka my extremely self indulgent drabble of fixing suguru before he turns into a mass murderer <3

it’s been a while—suguru has been in that shower for long enough that you’re starting to grow concerned. you contemplate for a bit, whether it’s a good idea or not to enter the boys shower, weighing the possibilities of being caught.

satoru’s not here, you reason, nanami and haibara are gone too, and yaga shouldn’t notice either—so, with a heavy sigh, you walk up to the door, opening it slowly. you can see him, standing as the water pours over his body, not even moving a little when you enter.

suguru is not the same—not after everything that’s happened. you can tell, you can see it under his eyes from the lack of sleep, you can see it in his cheekbones as they show a bit more from the lost weight, you can see it in the stiffness of his body when you’re around him. he’s not the same, and no one’s seem to have noticed, but you have. you always have.

you slowly strip from your clothing, walking up to him quietly until your arms circle his waist and your cheek rests against his bare back.

“baby,” you hum, “you’re turning into a prune. look at your skin,” you grab his hand, running a thumb over the tips of his fingers, wrinkly from the water.

he gives you an empty chuckle—you don’t think you’ve heard a real laugh from suguru since that day. “but aren’t i a handsome prune?” he mumbles.

“of course,” you kiss his shoulder, “the handsomest.”

“that’s a relief,” he says playfully—there’s nothing playful about his tone, though. it’s numb, automatic, like he’s trained himself to respond to you the way he always does. but you can feel it. he’s not the same.

“you’ve been in here a while. i got tired of waiting.”

“sorry,” he drops his hand from yours, falling limply to his side, “lost track of time, i guess.”

“suguru,” you say softly, “what’s wrong?”

he’s quiet, probably contemplating his answer. no one else might’ve noticed, but you have. you always do—he knows you always will. finally, he decides to answer, “are you really asking me that?”

“yes,” you say firmly, “i want to hear it. i want you to hear it. stop pushing it down.”

“i’m fine,” he mutters, “just tired.”

“i know,” you say softly, “i know you’re tired. what’s got you so tired?”

gently, your arms twist his body—he doesn’t put up a fight, just spins to face you until his face is digging into your neck on instinct. he can smell your body wash, can inhale the familiar scent of you from here. there are no curses to consume and no people to save at the risk of himself here, just the soft feeling of your skin and the warm press of your lips on his head.

riko would’ve liked you, he thinks. he can’t help it.

for a fleeting moment, when his hand was outstretched to her, he’d wondered if you’d like her too. he’d decided you would—you’re kind, you always have enough love for one more person. you’ll like riko, he’d thought. and then just like that, she’d been on the floor, dark pool of blood under her head.

you never got to meet her, and he never got to introduce you.

“what’s wrong, sugu?” you ask again, voice more delicate this time.

“everything,” he whispers.

he’s tired, so incredibly tired. suguru is exhausted. so for today, he’ll let you pick up the pieces. he doesn’t want to worry about you right now, doesn’t want to think about whether or not the edges will be sharp enough to slice your fingertips. suguru is exhausted—so for once, he lets you worry about him instead.

“i see,” you nod, letting your fingers trail to his head, stroking the wet strands gently as he trembles against your body, “everything is a lot. let’s start with just one, yeah?”

“i hate the taste of curses,” he spits, “it tastes like vomit.”

“that’s no good,” you agree, and then you’re pulling his head out of your neck—he wants to protest, wants to stay right where he is so he doesn’t have to face you, or anything. but you’re insistent, gentle as you are firm, cupping his cheeks as you force him to look at you. “can you still taste it?”

“yeah,” he nods. it’s true, he can’t forget the taste even if he tries. it’s like a phantom pain—but it resides on his tongue, haunting him long after it’s gone, even as he breathes and swallows and talks. “i hate it.”

your lips are on his after that, soft and sweet against his mouth. he can taste the strawberry of your chapstick, the familiar taste of you that he also could never forget. it washes down the vile taste of curses easily, so he leans in for more. and more. and more. he needs more.

“what about that?” you ask, stroking his cheek when you pull away, “how does that taste?”

“good,” he says shakily, “i…i like that.”

“i know you do,” you smile, pecking the corner of his mouth, “i can’t change how curses taste. but if i could, i’d make them strawberry flavored for you.”

he chuckles at that—it’s small, but it’s real. for the first time in a long time. it’s real.

suguru hates how curses taste, and you can’t change that, but you can help make swallowing become easier. he’ll take it—he’ll take anything you give.

“that might make the job easier,” he says, burying his face back into your neck, “they’d taste like you.”

“i’ll kiss you then,” you stroke his hair, pressing a soft kiss to the side of his head. his lips wobble, vision turning blurry. suguru is tired—he doesn’t want to hold it in anymore. “after every curse you swallow, i’ll kiss you. it’ll make it easier.”

“i don’t know if it will,” he admits, “this….what do we do it for? none of it is easy.”

he used to think it was. fighting curses was easy—satoru and him were the strongest. fighting curses was like stepping on ants as they walk on the concrete, crushing them before they can bite anyone. but he starts to wonder if people deserve to be bitten, if the people who kick at ant piles mindlessly for fun deserve to be saved from themselves.

you think for a bit, contemplating his question as the water runs over both of your bodies, slipping into the thin crevices between your skin and his.

“it’s not,” you agree, “it’s not easy. i would’ve loved to meet riko. i know you wanted me to. i’m sorry, suguru.”

somewhere along with the water on your shoulder mixes his tears, and his body shakes against yours. suguru is tired. he’s tired of swallowing curses and tasting bile. he’s tired of pretending the weak are innocent. he’s tired of carrying so much weight on his young, innocent shoulders. they deserve to be free.

“is it worth saving them?” he asks as he sniffles, “if they clap over people like us dying?”

“people like us aren’t always so different,” you point out.

people like us don’t need saving, he wants to argue—but you don’t give him a chance to, turning the water off behind him as you stand there holding him as he leans into you.

“there will always be someone who needs to be saved,” you murmur, “and there will always be something they need to be saved from. it’s not always as simple as curses and exorcisms, though.”

“that doesn’t make any sense,” he frowns, “that’s the whole point of jujutsu. to exorcise curses.”

“and if we exorcised them all? would that make everyone safe?”

“maybe not,” he furrows his eyebrows, “but at least we wouldn’t be dying for them.”

“you never know,” you reach for the towel, slowly pulling away and patting his skin gently as you dry his dripping skin, “maybe you’d die from something worse.”

“what could be worse?” he asks bitterly. he doesn’t understand. but you smile, pressing a kiss to his jaw as you brush his bangs from his face.

“i don’t know,” you shrug, “but i’m sure there’s something. there’s always something worse. but there’s always something better too.”

he still doesn’t completely understand. but the weight on his shoulder doesn’t feel as heavy when you lean and kiss it again—he feels like at least some of his youth is still his, still yours.

“you make no sense,” he grunts, scowling when you ruffle his hair obnoxiously with a giggle.

“well, maybe you’ll make sense of things after a nap,” you poke his chest accusingly, “you really need one. and then you’ll eat something. c’mon.”

“i don’t sleep with wet hair,” he reminds you as you tug him along, stopping where his clothes hang. you gesture at him to hold his arms up, grabbing his shirt. he rolls his eyes and indulges you, letting you dress him.

“i’ll dry it for you,” you chuckle, “my sugu is so high maintenance.”

and then, before you can turn to grab your own clothes, he tugs your wrist and pulls you in, kissing you hard, kissing you hungrily, kissing you like you’re all he has. just because he can. he can taste the last bits of your chapstick—he wants to keep tasting it forever. it’s strawberry, his favorite.

“i like strawberries,” he presses his forehead to yours, closing his eyes, “so don’t change the flavor.”

“okay,” you grin, cupping his cheeks, “i’ll always get strawberry for my sugu.”

he just needed a few kissies and he would’ve been fine. i guess i’ll take one for the team and kiss him a few times 😔 i guess i can take the responsibility of loving him 😔 i’ll be fine guys no need to worry about me 😔

[bluejeanstrash]

tags: boyfriend! seungcheol x reader, domestic scenes, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of marriage | wc: 744

‘is he okay?’ 

‘mmm’ seungcheol nods, carefully closing the door behind him. ‘he’ll be fine. he fell asleep but i’ve kept the puke bucket next to the bed incase he needs it’ 

‘cheollie, we really need to throw that thing’ you make a face, thinking about how many times it had been used. 

‘yeah, but people keep throwing up in our house!’ 

‘that’s because you keep making them drink way too much!’ seungcheol’s “home bar” was 3 bottles short of a liquor store. he was extremely proud of his collection and very generous with it, offering offensively expensive drinks to any and every guest that entered your home.

tonight, passed out in the guest room was hoshi, who had been taken out midway through his fourth drink. he hadn’t even made it to the dinner part of the dinner party you both were hosting.

seungcheol pouts in response, picking up a dirty glass left on the bar ‘do you want me to do the dishes, my love?’ 

‘nope, i’ve got it. can you clean up and take out the trash instead?’ he gets on it right away, pausing for a second to rub your shoulders when bringing the glass over. a second turns into a minute, and the rub into a mini massage as his fingers move deftly, kneading all those little knots away.

‘thank you baby, i needed that’ you sigh, and the next thing you know his arms are wrapped around you, his chin resting on the slope of your shoulder ‘you know what was really nice today?’ 

‘hmmn?’ 

‘you know when joshua’s friend…mark? yeah, mark. when he thought we were married’

it was first time it had ever happened. ‘so, how did you and your husband meet?’ mark had asked.

‘oh, he’s my boyfriend’ you had corrected him and moved on, but seungcheol was stuck right there. boyfriend? no, that just wasn’t going to cut it for him anymore. why would he ever want to be called your boyfriend when he could be your husband instead? a demotion, really.

‘i liked it. a lot. husband-’ he presses a kiss to the warm skin of your neck ‘-and wife’, and another, before pulling you into him. he brings his arm forward to turn off the tap before turning you around to face him.

‘what do you say? should we do it? get married?’ each question asked in between little pecks.

‘if this is your idea of a proposal-’

he chuckles, circling back ‘get married. make you my wife. get you…pregnant’ seungcheol feels a little giddy honestly, giddy at his own words. he’s already made up his mind — he wants this future, and only with you.

‘you want to put a baby in me?’ you tease, starting to feel a little hot under your clothes.

‘oh, i want to put many, many babies in you’ he mutters, his lips parting yours, impatient hands coming around to untie the knot of your apron.

‘want to put one in you right now...’ he grabs your ass to lift you up, your legs wrapping around him instantly. you pull off your rubber gloves, tossing them aside and lock your arms around his neck. you kiss him, a little needily, tugging at his hair to let him know you need him right here, right now. he turns around to take you to the kitchen island, opening his eyes for a second to see hoshi — hoshi who’s discreetly trying to make his way out of the kitchen.

‘shit!’ seungcheol’s grip on you loosens abruptly before he catches you, carefully putting you down.

‘sorry! i’m so sorry!’ hoshi covers his eyes, stumbling back ‘i didn’t see anything. i just..i threw up..in that bucket thing and didn’t know what to do with it’

‘it’s fine, it’s fine. go to the room. i’m coming’ seungcheol takes a second to calm himself down, taking deep breaths to redirect his blood flow.

‘this is what it’s going to be like with a kid, you know’ you joke, bending to grab the fallen gloves which doesn’t help his raging boner at all ‘at least hoshi can clean up after himself up. who’s going to clean up our child’s projectile vomit?’

there’s a moment of silence.

‘not it’

‘not it!’

you both giggle — you turning back to do the dishes, and seungcheol going to check up on hoshi, both of you back in the moment, dreaming of the future to come.

[unreliablesnake]

Simon says (Simon Riley x reader)

Summary: Simon doesn’t want to let you be alone when you’re drunk, so you end up at his place. After he wakes up, the two of you play a little Simon says.

Note: That little snippet became pretty popular. Thanks, guys, here’s the whole thing. / If you want to know when I post new stuff, follow @unreliablesnakefics and hit the get notifications button.

Warnings: smut. afab reader. minors dni!!!

“You suck!” you slurred once you grabbed Simon’s shoulder to steady yourself.

He only let out a sigh and rolled his eyes. Things hadn’t been the best since the breakup, but he wasn’t about to leave you here on your own when you were this drunk. So he wrapped an arm around your body to keep you up straight, then began to walk towards his car.

Through the whole ride he was begging the universe not to make you throw up in the passenger seat, but you were a clever girl and knew when to make him stop the car so you would empty your stomach onto the street. He put his hand on your back, trying to calm you with a circular motion since you were cursing under your breath.

When you closed the door and signaled him it was okay to move again, Simon hesitated. “You okay?” he asked kindly. When you nodded in response, he let out a sigh and leaned his head against the headrest. “I’m not letting you stay alone tonight. Wouldn’t want you to choke on your own vomit. You’re staying at my place, okay? I’ll take the couch.”

“I’m fine,” you tried weakly before raising a hand and opening the door again for another round of vomiting. You didn’t see Simon roll his eyes at you, for which he was grateful, but he was glad to see a change in your behavior when you sat back. “Fine, let’s go.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“You okay now?”

“Yeah.”

Simon’s lips curled into a smile as he watched you. “Can you say anything else?” he asked as he swept a strand of hair out of your face.

You made a face and he couldn’t help but laugh at it. Instead of making a comment about how weird you were whenever you got drunk, he started the car and began to drive to his place. You dozed off halfway there, and he listened to the quiet snoring as if that was the most adorable sound in the world.

Because in a way it was. When you were sober, you pushed him away. Now that you were drunk, you didn’t. He preferred this setup, he missed you every day, and keeping his distance was incredibly hard. He wanted to respect your decision to end the relationship, but despite your best effort to keep him at arm’s length, he was always drawn to you.

When he parked the car, you were still sleeping, so he decided to carry you inside instead of waking you up. You had changed your perfume. He remembered the scent of the usual one you wore when you went out, but this was certainly different. Simon didn’t like it that much, but he wondered if it was only because it told him you felt like it was time for a change after the breakup.

He took you to his bedroom, cautiously placing you on the bed then leaving a soft kiss on your forehead. “Sleep tight, love. I’ll be outside if you need me,” he said quietly.

“Can you stay with me?” you mumbled in your sleep.

At first he thought he hadn’t heard you right, that he was just imagining things, but then you repeated it. Simon smiled to himself before lying down on the empty side of the bed next to you, an arm protectively wrapping around you immediately. You moved a little to be closer to him, your eyes still closed as you slept.

Eventually Simon fell asleep too, but his dream wasn’t free of you. He couldn’t stop thinking about what you might need to give him another chance. A friend’s advice? A big romantic gesture? Whatever it was, he was more than happy to give it to you.

In the early morning, before the sun came up, he woke up to you resting your head on his chest, while your arm was wrapped around his body. When he tried to peel you off gently, you just tightened your grip on him. “Stay,” you asked him. How could he say no to that? So he kissed your head and watched you sleeping comfortably, but he was soon reminded that you were slowly waking up. “Creep,” you noted with the hint of a smile.

Letting out a quiet chuckle, Simon raised your hand and placed a kiss on its back. “You should make up your mind. One moment you want me to stay, the next you call me a creep,” he scolded you.

“Why did I let you go?” you suddenly asked, your chin now on his chest so you could look him in the eye.

“That’s something only you can answer. You never really gave me an explanation,” Simon pointed out.

You let out a sigh. He could tell you were thinking hard about the reason, but couldn’t really find what it was. Before speaking up again, you kissed his chest and tightened your grip around his body. “I was an idiot.”

Simon had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from agreeing, too afraid a comment like that would push you away again. When he felt your hand slowly moving down his body, heading straight under his sweatpants, he couldn’t help but wonder if he should let you do this. He didn’t want to cross a line, he didn’t want to use you in any way, even if it was you who made a move on him.

“What are you doing?” he asked hoarsely. As you reached into his pants and grabbed his semi-erect cock, Simon gulped. God, he wanted you so badly, it was torture. But he needed to know if you meant it, so he said the first thing that came to his mind. “Let’s play ‘Simon says’, love. How does that sound? Just like in the old days.”

“But you’re so mean when we play that,” you said with a pout when he pulled your hand away from his pants.

“Simon says kiss me,” he began with a smirk.

With a short giggle you did as you were told, giving him a slow, sensual kiss that he missed so much. Simon put his hand on the back of your neck, eventually slipping his fingers into your hair to grab a fistful of it. You moaned into his mouth, but never broke the kiss. He loved that; he loved it when you acted like a little kitten, sounding almost like you were purring while you kissed him.

After he kissed the tip of your nose, he looked you in the eye and waited to see if you wanted to say anything. But you knew the rules. No talking while you played this game. “Good girl.” He swept a strand of hair behind your ear, then said, “Simon says slowly take your clothes off.”

A small, wicked smirk crept on your lips as you stood up on the bed and sensually began to shake your hips, as if you were swaying to a song only you could hear. He sat up and leaned his head against the wall while he watched you slowly take your shirt off. You threw it away and reached back to unclip your bra, but instead of quickly removing it, you cupped your breasts and pushed them together for a moment.

Simon couldn’t behave, and he flashed a smile at you before he groped his cock through his pants. You pouted, clearly unhappy that he didn’t want you to help him with that. But he wasn’t about to let you handle it, instead he motioned you to finally get rid of that bra. Being the good girl you were, you did just that, and then moved on to your jeans which you unbuttoned and slowly pushed off of yourself along with your panties.

He drew in a sharp breath. “I wanted to take those panties off of you,” he complained, earning a surprised look from you. “It’s okay, I didn’t tell you. Come here, baby.” He opened his arms, but you didn’t move. “Look at my vigilant girl,” he laughed. “Simon says help me out of my pants.”

This time you moved and got his sweatpants off. Simon could tell drool was already pooling in your mouth as you watched his now fully erect cock fall on his stomach. You had always been like that, clearly nothing changed in the past few months. You kneeled next to him on the bed, sitting on your heels with your hands resting on your thighs. Weren’t you an obedient little girl for him?

“Simon says answer me this. Are you one hundred percent sure you want this?” You gulped and nodded. You looked certain and sober, so he gave himself the green light to go on. “Simon says give me a blowjob,” he finally gave you the order.

Your face lit up like a Christmas tree, and you lowered your body to run your tongue along his shaft. His cock twitched in your hand, his excitement slowly getting the best of him. When he felt your soft lips around the head, he tangled his fingers into the hair on the back of your head and followed your movements without being too rough with you. There will be a moment when he can push you down on his cock, but now he just wanted you to get used to his size again.

You took him in your mouth, trying to take more and more in, while your hand twisted and turned around the base as you gently began pumping. He could see the satisfied little smile on your lips when he let out a deep moan and you let his cock fall out of your mouth with a loud pop.

He enjoyed it more than ever before. Maybe it was the months that had passed since the last time you’ve been together, but it was heavenly to have you like this again. He gently smacked your ass which drew a moan out of you. It wasn’t enough to stop you though, because you picked up your pace and began to let the tip get closer and closer to the back of your throat.

“Fuck, sweetheart, you’re too good for me,” he said quietly, earning a side glance from you. “It’s okay, keep going.” He knew what was on your mind. You had always told him you were just right for him, that he shouldn’t belittle himself. He told you about his past before, so no wonder you became so protective of him. You’d always been like that; worrying more about others than yourself.

Simon was pulled back to reality when he heard you gag, but that sound only made him push your head down a little more. He knew he was close, he could feel the orgasm building up in his core, so he pulled you off his cock and told you to speed things up and don’t waste your town deepthroating him. Being the good girl you were, you followed his instructions and he soon came into your mouth. You swallowed every drop and then even licked him clean without being told to do so.

“C’mere, baby,” he told you, and you immediately moved over to kiss him. Simon let you, he took his time enjoying the kiss, but then you broke it and leaned back and put your hand in front of your mouth. “That’s right, you screwed up.”

“I’m sorry,” you whispered guiltily.

“It’s okay,” he began as he rubbed your back. “But that means playtime’s over. You know the rules.”

You threw your leg over his body to straddle him, his cock touching your ass as you leaned down to l. “Come on, Simon, I know you want this. Let’s see how fast you can make me come,” you purred in his ear before playfully biting his earlobe.

He just shook his head at this. “Maybe it’s better this way. I’m not entirely sure those few hours were enough for you to sober up.”

“Please,” you began to beg.

But he only laughed at this. “You still have your hands, love, if you’re really that desperate for an orgasm, you could just as well give me a show,” he suggested.

“Can I borrow your fingers?”

“No.”

“Then it’s not good enough,” you said with a pout before lying down next to him.

He pulled you closer and placed a soft kiss on your cheek. “I still love you. If you’re willing to give our relationship another chance, I promise I’ll make you come so many times you’ll be begging me to stop,” he told you, earning a stupid little giggle from you. “You don’t believe me?”

You turned on your side to look at him. “It’s the opposite. I vividly remember that happening before. So another chance, huh? Let’s see if you can do it again, big boy,” you said with a laugh.

[malwaredykes]

well. here she is. miss Leigh Stasik.

trans woman. stubborn, incorrigible, eccentric. communist; she has leftist in-fighting with herself on the regular. a cannibal; she has no moral qualms about this, and its both a bit of a spiritual thing and a bit of a pragmatic thing. medic (not a doctor. no medical license). she knows for sure she had some kind of significant personality change from being shot in the head, but she doesn't remember what she was like exactly before it happened, it all became this kind of distant memory soup. shes originally from west new cali, but she grew very attached to the mojave. and has a lot of contempt for the ncr. She Will Serve Crack Before She Serves This Country. thank god the army discriminates against transsexuals etc. zero tolerance for the legion, obviously.

she firmly believes she is not nice, or kind, or compassionate, but instead her actions and her general sense of justice stem from her simply doing whats the most logical and objectively beneficial. it may be true to some extent, but she might also have a wee bit of ocd of the "i am a horrible person whos at all times like 2 seconds away from committing atrocities" variety.

shes a SCIENTIST. unofficially. she doesnt have a degree nor a chosen field of study. she makes her own hrt and other mysterious concoctions, including designer chems. which she claims she ingests injects etc not for recreational purposes, but to Enhance Her Powers And Possibilities. she reads old world books about psychology so she can manipulate people better. and makes weird contraptions and doohickeys while high. shes a HACKER of course and hacks terminals and systems for fun and just to see if she can.

her stats are out there due to implants and intense training, originally they were rather average. in-game she wears combat armor mk 2, but i see her having spruced it up like this. her main weapon is the ycs/186, the unique gauss rifle, but before that she used a modded plasma pistol. which she very much enjoyed the silly appearance of. because it was so small and with so much shit tacked on and she could just hold it in one hand like a mutated revolver like Hands up motherfucker bang bang bang lol. her melee weapon of choice is the machete gladius, but she's been training to be able to wield a thermic lance.

in my head the trajectory of her actions and the fate of the mojave that follows is different from what you can do with the game, because leigh could only go for The Secret Leftist Route Which Was Supposed To Be In The Game But We Were Robbed Of It.

boone was the first friend she made after leaving goodsprings and their relationship is particularly notable. they are Comrades, Siblings-In-Arms, Worsties (like besties but fucked up). theyve seen each other at their worst. they annoy each other on purpose. theyve had serious ideological clashes with each other and some ways in which boone perceives the world drive leigh absolutely nuts. they're ride or die for each other. theyre the kind of comfortable around each other where she'll be on the toilet and smoking a cig with the door open and talking to him, while he's naked sitting on the floor removing stitches from his leg. she's done surgery without anesthesia on him. he's projectile vomited blood on her from being poisoned by cazadores. she strongly encourages him to become a traitor to the ncr and to take part in the revolution and the formation of the new independent mojave alliance. somehow, it works on him in the end. shamefully they kinda like snuggling... boone bro come to bed man its nighty night man its beddy bye time.

shes in love with lily bowen. i havent decided yet whether she actually makes a move. but she thinks lily is sooooo dreamy. and shes right. if you dont think the enormous 203 year old blue mutant woman is dreamy thats your problem. outta her way

[propertyofwicked]

sambuca - LN

warnings: swearing, alcohol and mentions of being sick.

short fluff :) fewtrell!reader

this can be read as a stand alone or as a prequel to the secrets series!

the moment her friend ordered a round of black sambuca, she knew her night was going to turn in a horrible direction, but she was too drunk to care, necking the shot back and coughing as the liquid travelled down her throat. in her few years of adulthood, she’d yet to have a night end well after the shots got ordered.

as last orders were called, y/n started to panic. it was too late to call her brother to pick her up and she was far too drunk to walk home, but almost by instinct, she scrolled through her contacts, landing on her brothers best friend. in her drunken state, she didn’t seem to realise it was 2am and that he might be asleep - he always helped her, so why wouldn’t he now, she thought to herself.

her phone rang twice before he picked up.

“y/n?” lando grumbled, clearly haven just been woken up, “is everything ok?”

she replied, but it was completely incoherent, her words slurring into a mashup of her sentence.

“y/n? who are you with? is caitlin there?” he asked, and she nodded before realising he couldn’t see her and gave him a quick mhm.

“can you pass the phone to her please, angel?” he said, and the phone was being passed to the girls best friend, who was surprisingly still standing, and most importantly to lando, speaking sense.

“hiiii lando,” she said, slurring but still coherent, “is everything ok?”

“that’s what i want to ask you,” he laughed, “are you guys leaving now? do you need a lift home?”

“i don’t,” she said, hiccupping, “but i think your girl might need somewhere to crash for the night.”

“text me the pub you’re at, ill be there in 10 minutes.”

“ok - you might wanna bring a bucket.”

“i might not bring the mclaren then,” he laughed again, before hanging up, throwing a hoodie on and grabbing his car keys. he reached the door, before doubling back to the kitchen, picking up a plastic bag and a bottle of water. this was not his first rodeo, and he didn’t feel like having a repeat of the time she vomited in max’s car and his shoes.

when he pulled up outside the pub, it didn’t take him long to see y/n, crouched to the floor, back leaning against the wall of the pub, her poor friend stood next to her, reaching down slightly to stroke her hair. lando moved out of the car, walking round to where the girl was sat, quickly realising her eyes were streaming tears. crouching down to her level, his hand came to rest on her shoulder.

“hey angel, what’s up? why are we crying?”

why was she crying? because she thought about how pretty and kind lando was and it made drunk little brain sad to think that he would never want her was the real answer, instead she settled for

“i don’t know,” she sad sadly, looking up at him and smiling slightly when their eyes met, “you won’t tell max about this, will you?”

“of course not,” he replied, although not sure what he was agreeing to hide from max. as he raised himself up to stand, he grabbed her arms to pull her up with him, although her balanced failed and she toppled into his chest - his arms came to rest on her waist to stabilise her.

“sorry,” she mumbled, looking up at him again, she was so close he could smell the alcohol on her breath.

“it’s ok y/n,” he said, rubbing his hands up and down her back, before glancing to the girl besides her, “who gave her sambuca?”

“not me,” she defends herself, holding up her hands.

“fucks sake.”

“in my defence, by the time i tried to stop her, she’d already drank it.”

“it’s alright, this is going to be rough. worse for her though,” he responds, moving to turn y/n around in his arms and march her in the direction of his car, “you still fine to get home?”

“don’t worry about me, please just get her into a bed. or a sofa. or a bathroom.” and with that he helped y/n into the passenger seat, reaching across her to buckle her in.

“you smell nice,” she slurred into his ear as he moved back. he chose to ignore the comment, feeling his heart skip a beat, shut the door and jog back round to the drivers side.

“see you later, caitlin. message y/n when you get home safe please,” he adds, waving to the girl before climbing in the car himself.

“what are we gonna do with you?” he asks to no one, glancing to the girl hunched over in his passenger seat, pulling off slowly.

“hi,” she perks up after 5 minutes of silence, looking to the side to smile at him. his side profile is so pretty, she thinks to herself, before shaking any thoughts like that out her brain.

“hi yourself,” he responds, flicking the indicator on, “how you feeling?”

“im good.”

“you sure? i don’t need to pull over do i?”

“not yet. just, just keep driving slow. please,” she begs slightly.

“it’s ok we’re nearly there.”

“where is there?”

“my flat.”

“not max’s?”

“i don’t think you want max seeing you in this state. i don’t think max’s shoes want to see you in this state either,” he joked.

“HEY! that was one time. and i bought him new shoes after.”

“no you didn’t.”

“ok. you bought him new shoes, but i gave them to him,” she argues back, lando simply snorts in response.

“we’re here angel,” he says, coming to a slow stop. angel, she thought, i like when he calls me that.

she grabs the door handle, flinging the door open, and moves to stand up before bashing her head on the roof of the low car.

“fuck,” she exclaimed, “that was a bit silly of me, wasn’t it.”

“yes, it was,” lando replied bluntly, moving to take one of her hands in his, the other resting on the top of his car to provide a soft bumper if she hit her head again.

“are you mad at me?” she asks sadly, after seeing his jaw clench and unclench on the way to his flat.

“not at you, angel, never at you. im mad at whoever gave you sambuca.”

“i gave it to me,” she says, giggling. he simply shakes his head at her.

the moment the front door shuts, she’s sprinting to his bathroom, the mixture of drinks finally resurfacing in the back of her throat. lando follows quickly behind her, just in time to bend behind her and scoop her hair up out of her face, his spare hand moving to stroke her back softly.

“that’s it, get it all up,” he coos softly, “thank you for not doing this in my car,” although he doubts she can hear his remark.

“gonna sleep in my bed tonight, angel? is that ok? wanna keep an eye on you,” he asks her as she finally sits, resting her back on his stomach. she looks up at him, nodding slightly, eyes blinking heavily in exhaustion.

“need to take my make up off,” she says, still slurring but less than before. he nods before moving to his bathroom cabinet, pulling out a cleanser and wipes.

“why do you have those?”

“they’re yours, y/n. from the last time you and max stayed over after a night out.” she says nothing in response, simply leaning back into him again as he moves his arm around her to wipe away the makeup on her face. his actions are not to soft, but not too rough - again, this is not his first rodeo with a drunk y/n fewtrell. once he’s done, he shuffles out to his bedroom, leaving y/n on the bathroom floor, to wallow in self pity, she thought to herself. when he returns he throws a shirt at her, and a pair of his boxers for her to change in to.

“ill be in my room, come find me when you’re changed,” he says, turning on his heel to leave her in privacy. she stands to change, catching a glance at herself in the mirror.

jesus, i look so rough. i cannot sleep in that mans bed. this is bad. this is very bad.

but alas, y/n found herself climbing into lando’s bed mere minutes later, choosing comfort over the protection of her feelings.

“come ‘ere,” he says to her, pulling her gently towards him, her head coming to rest on his chest as his arms wrap around her, “why did you get so drunk y/n?”

“m’celebrating.”

“celebrating what?”

“life,” she says, she would’ve thought of a better reason had her heart not been beating a thousand times a minute.

“get some sleep. there’s some water on your side if you need it. your phones on charge next to it.”

“thank you, lan. for this, for picking me up, for dealing with my shit.”

“don’t mention it, angel. now, rest. ill deal with you in the morning.” now she may have been drunk, but she could feel lando’s lips pressing gently to the top of her head.

“turn it off,” she groans, light flooding behind her eye lids, lando chuckles.

“turn what off? the sun? sorry let me just tap into my divine powers and sort that out for you, your majesty.”

“shut up.”

“you started it.”

she groaned again, opening her eyes fully. quickly she realised she was laying on her side, her back pressed into lando’s back, his arms still tightly around her. her arm reaches out to grab her phone and check her messages.

“caitlin told me to tell you she’s home safe, she also said good luck - why is she wishing you luck?”

“probably due to the state you were in last night,” he laughs again.

“oh my god, im so sorry.”

“don’t be, it was funny.”

“funny? it was mortifying. my head hurts so bad.”

“have some water, there’s some paracetamol there for you as well.”

“no not like a headache. like my head actually hurts,” she adds, moving her arm to rub the stop on her head that ached.

“oh! that’ll be from when you smacked your head on the roof of my car,” he replies, moving his own hand up to her head to inspect the damage.

“no that’s so embarrassing i didn’t do that,” she denies, a red flush rising on her cheeks.

“i can ask security for the camera footage in the car park if you want.”

“shut up,” she said bluntly, as he bit the urge to respond with make me. he found himself quickly reminded of his promise last night. don’t tell max. the position he found himself in now was a sobering realisation as to how max really couldn’t know about this.

“you want a lift to max’s?” he asks suddenly.

“erm, no. could you take me to caitlin’s instead? all good if not, i can get an uber.”

“nah that’s fine, when do you wanna go?”

they moved swiftly on from max, both silently agreeing that any sign of y/n in lando’s clothes, hungover and crawling out of his car was a bad idea. a very bad idea.

[wonwoonlight]

when he finds out you're sick through the internet

A/N: idol!au. OC is also a celebrity though I don't explicitly say what. tiny teensy angst bc cheol is a worried Boyfriend💔 1.5k words! another random word vomits bc that's the only way i know how to write now lol idk why but everytime i write this kinda fic it's always seungcheol looooooooooooooool. not proofread, but enjoy!

[part 2]

Seungcheol doesn't really get angry.

For the three years you've known him in which you've dated him for two, you've only seen him actually get angry a total number of three times. None of them was directed at you, and all of them are for reasons that you would've exploded upon way before he did.

Seungcheol is patient and rational.

Seungcheol is normally patient and rational.

But he's never normal when it comes to you. And even though the patient bit still stands, nothing about his feelings towards you is ever rational. He's a little too emotional, a little too rash, and a little too worrisome when it comes to your wellbeing.

So when he's relaxing in the practice room during a break with his members, for once not on his phone because he's charging it somewhere on one of the tables, and he hears Seungkwan gasps a little upon his phone, he thinks there's another scandal blowing up upon the industry. But when the younger guy's blown out eyes meet him, colors drained from his face, Seungcheol hates that he knew it could mean one thing: something happened to you.

He shoots up almost immediately, not registering any words that come out of Seungkwan's mouth. His hands shake a little when he unlocks his phone, and his heart drops when he reads the official post from your company's twitter account that states your current condition, that you might need to pause your activities for the time being due to health reasons, apologizes for the worries, and asks for the fans' understanding.

He wants to get angry.

At who, he’s not sure.

At your company, for pushing you even though they know your schedule is practically inhumane? At your manager, for not making sure that you have decent rest in between schedules? At you, because he’s been telling you to fucking stop running towards whatever goal you have in mind but you insist that you know your limit and you’ll know when to stop?

Apparently, no you fucking don’t because else this wouldn’t have happened.

The rest of the members look at him in worry, and Jeonghan silently walks to their manager and the other staff to let them know about the situation at hand, that Seungcheol would probably not be in his best state to continue practice at the moment. The leader would probably insist that they continue anyway, but they’ve practiced for almost five hours already anyway and they could spare an hour or two for the leader when it’s clear that he’s worried beyond measure.

Seungcheol bites his lip as he tries to call you, his concern skyrocketing by the seconds the longer the beeping sound goes, no sign of you picking it up. He tries one more time, but you still don’t answer and he’s about to hurl his phone at the wall when your manager calls him instead, tells him that he sees his name flashing on your phone, informs your whereabouts, and that he should just drop by your place in a few hours if he wants to see you because right now you’re still sleeping in the car and he’s taking you home.

He finds it hard to say anything, a lump growing in his throat until he manages to swallow it down and ask how you’re doing right now.

“She’s… exhausted.” Your manager says quietly. “I know it’s my job to take care of her but… you know her. She didn’t tell me that she’s been having a hard time sleeping at night the past few weeks and it finally took a toll on her.”

It’s hard to suppress his anger, his breath heavier than usual though it’s not too noticeable unless they know Seungcheol. He wants to scream at your manager, but he knows it won’t do anyone any good and it’s really not the time nor the place for that. So he mutters a quiet ‘thank you’ before he hangs up, his members looking at him with a mix of worry and understanding when he looks up at them.

“Go.” Soonyoung says. “We’ve practiced enough today. Take care of your girlfriend and tell us later.”

Seungcheol nods and sprints out of the room, beyond thankful that his members always have his back.

Seungcheol is glaring at you when you wake up, though the way his thumb is still softly caressing your head and the worry in his eyes clearly tell you that his anger is nowhere near his distress. 

You offer him a weak smile, unable to defend yourself because you know what his eyes are scolding you for.

“Sorry?” You whisper and immediately cringe at how dry your throat feels.

He doesn’t say anything as he helps you sit down and hands you your favorite mug. Taking in the moment, you frown at how weak you feel, though you really only have yourself to blame because you genuinely thought you’re okay and you can take it.

You know it’s on you for taking as many schedules as possible, practically everything that your company offers you even when your manager says he doesn’t think it’s physically possible for you to do all that in such a short span.

Thinking about it now, you realize that your manager and the rest of your team also gets the short end of the stick through your decision. Him, your make up team, and your stylists would all need to be with you and your ambition forgets to consider their wellbeing even when you wrongly claim you would be able to handle it.

Guilt starts to eat you inside out, and it grows even larger as you see Seungcheol in front of you–didn’t he say he had practice today?–his face screams distressed and his shoulders tense since God knows when.

“Hey, talk to me.” He says softly when he notices you’ve been spacing out and you’re nibbling on your lip like you would when you’re anxious, taking away your mug before enveloping your hands with his.

You tear up almost immediately, and he moves to sit on the edge of your bed to usher you into his chest, patiently listens to your nonsense as you try to talk through your tears. He gets the gist of it: sorry–manager–company–wellbeing–my team–didn’t think it through–made you worry–overestimated myself–sorry–and the list goes on. He exhales as he hugs you tighter, both understanding and upset at the turns of events.

Being in the same industry, he gets what you’re trying to do, understands that you feel the need to keep on running while you’re able to, relates that you’re doing everything for yourself and your fans. But still, it’s hard not to be upset to know you’re pushing yourself too hard when he’s been telling you there’s no need to run as fast as you are without resting; that you’ll only hurt yourself one way or another and he hates that the one time he needs to be right, it’s this.

You end up laying down against his chest on your bed, hiccups and sniffles filling your bedroom along with a random song he’s humming against your head. You pull away to properly look at him, the first time you’re doing it since you woke up earlier, and his hum stops in question.

“Thank you.” You manage to whisper, your fingers grasping the front of his shirt without even realizing. “For being here when I woke up.”

He shakes his head like he doesn’t understand why you’re thanking him, simply leans down to plant a long, chaste kiss against your forehead before he pulls up your blanket so it’ll cover you properly.

“Just… don’t surprise me like that again, okay?” His breath is warm against your face, pleasantly so, and you nod as you promise him that you’ll take better care of yourself moving forward. 

“Are you staying the night?”

“Yes, I’ll return to the dorm the day after tomorrow. They’ve given me a day off.” You cringe at his words, though thankful that he’s been in the industry long enough to attain that kind of privilege. But still, you feel bad that you’re obstructing his practice and his members just because you’re foolish enough to– “Hey. Stop. I know what you’re thinking. No need to feel bad. I’m actually glad I get to rest with you.”

“But–”

“No buts. The kids can do without me for a day.” He playfully bumps his forehead against yours, his lips hover above yours merely centimeters apart.  He doesn’t meet your lips, though he kisses their corner sweetly and wraps you back into his embrace to the point where there’s no space between you two. “Sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Good night, Cheol.”

“Night, baby.”

“See you in my dream?”

“I’ll see you anywhere you want me to be.”

He hugs you tighter, and you try your best to return the gesture despite the awkward position of your arms. It’s uncomfortable and you’re sure your arms will be sore the next morning.

But you wouldn’t have it any other way. Not when you succumb to sleep and find Seungcheol smiling at you on the other side of your dream, as real as he can be.

cont.

[russo-woso]

Hot shots | Mary Earps x Russo!reader

Warning vomiting, think that’s it

“Mary, you’re not actually gonna make us do it are you?” You asked your fiancé, Mary, as you sat down on her bed with your sister and Maya.

“Of course I am, babe. It’s good for us.” Mary explained and you shook your head at her.

“I can’t believe this. I hate you. I really do.” You said, lying through your teeth.

How could you ever hate Mary? How could anyone hate Mary?

“That’s a lie!” Mary exclaimed, as she set up her phone.

“I know. I could never hate you.” You told her, resting a hand on her back once she’d sat down next to you.

She threw her arm over your shoulder and pressed a kiss to your lips.

“Stop it.” Alessia complained, pushing you off Mary. “You two can’t go one minute without your lips touching! It’s disgusting.”

“Less, let me kiss my girl.” Mary told her, reconnecting her lips with yours.

“Your girl is also my sister and I don’t like it when you eat her face off. As much as I hate her sometimes, I would still quite like it if she had a face.”

Instead of obeying to Alessia, you and Mary looked at her before reconnecting your lips.

“My god, you two are like teenagers! You can’t go a minutes without your lips on each others.” Alessia exclaimed, diving in the middle of you both to disconnect your lips.

“Fine, fine, let’s just start the video.” You said, much to Mary’s dismay, who wanted another kiss. “You’ve got all night to kiss me.” You whispered in her ear and a smile appeared on her face.

Mary leaned forward to start the video and you nearly fell off the bed, sending Maya into a fit of laughter.

As Mary sat back on the bed, Maya still laughing, she wrapped her arms around all three of you and began talking to her phone.

“Right. Hello, everyone. We’ve got a challenge for me, Maya, Alessia, and my gorgeous fiance, Y/N, today.” Mary began, introducing you all.

“You just had to get that in, didn’t you?” You asked her, rolling your eyes.

“Of course I did, everyone needs to know that you’re mine. Anyway, It’s a weird one today. Hot shots, like the hot shots we are.” Mary continued, and started to open the packaging, handing you each one bottle.

“What’s in them?” Alessia questioned, curiously looking at the bottle.

“Why don’t you do a presentation?” Mary suggested.

“Have you kept them in the fridge?” Alessia asked, laughing as she shook her bottle.

“She has. They’ve been taking up our whole mini fridge.” You said, shaking your head at Mary.

“Orange, lemon, ginger, turmeric, and cayenne.” Alessia called out, naming the ingredients in it.

After a conversation about how to say turmeric, it was time to try them.

“Right, rumour on the street has it, it’s got to be down in one.” Mary told us

“Mary, that’s too big to do it in one. Look, it’s 100mls.” You pointed out the obvious, turning your bottle to show her.

“I can smell that from here.” Maya said, smelling the strong scent from Mary’s bottle.

“You can’t say that because Alessia eats with her nose cause she’s a weirdo. She’s done it since she was little. I mean, who eats with their nose?” You said, purposefully trying to wind your sister up.

“Shut up, Y/N, it’s not my fault.” Alessia whined, nudging her shoulder, roughly, with hers.

“Right girls, to good health. Down the hatch.”

You all clinked bottles with one another before preparing to drink it.

“I’m not doing it all in one.” Alessia stated, you nodding in agreement.

“No, we’ve got to go for it. You both got to do at least half.” Mary compromised and you and Alessia nodded, agreeing to do at least half.

“You just need to keep swallowing.” Maya suggested and you took a deep breath, preparing for the vile taste to take over your mouth.

“3, 2, 1, go.” Mary counted down and one she finished, you all started drinking it.

You took one sip, before sprinting off to the bathroom, spitting it out.

You heard Maya and Alessia laughing as you rinsed your mouth out with water.

Mary quickly followed you, making sure you were okay.

Once you’d washed your mouth, you made your way back out and into the room.

“That was fucking vile.” You exclaimed and sat on the bed. “How did you finish yours? I’d be sick if I had anymore.” You asked Maya and your fiance as you noticed their empty bottles.

Alessia on the other hand, had a half full bottle in her hand, clearly only having a sip or two missing from it.

“Do you want the rest of mine?” Alessia offered Mary and Maya, pulling a face in disgust.

“Come on, baby, can you not just have another sip?” Mary asked you, and you shook your head straight away.

“I’m gonna be sick if I have anymore. That was the worst thing I’ve ever drank.” You stated and Mary laughed before resting a hand on your lower back, rubbing it in circles.

“Come on, Less, you’ve got to finish it.” Mary encouraged Alessia, whose jaw had fallen to the floor.

“So I have to finish mine, but as soon as Y/N says she can’t finish hers it’s okay?” Alessia asked, and Mary nodded.

“Of course, I’m not having a sick girlfriend.” Mary said and you nuzzled your head on her shoulder, smirking cheekily at Alessia.

“This is so unfair.”

“You alright there, Maya?” You asked the young girl who was searching frantically for a drink.

“Maya, tell the camera what you think.” Mary suggested and Maya sat down on the bed.

“It went up my nose when I started laughing. Because your…” Maya made a gulping sound which made you giggle. “…was really loud.”

“My gulp?” Mary fell back in laughter, pulling you down with her. “I quite liked it. I didn’t find it spicy.”

“I can feel it in my throat.” You told them and Alessia hummed in agreement.

“I can too. Like just there.” Alessia agreed, pointing to her throat.

“That wasn’t bad.” Maya stated as you clapped your hands in front of Alessia’s face, startling her because she was completely zoned out.

Alessia punched your arm, and you whimpered in pain, gathering Mary’s attention.

“Alessia, don’t punch her.” Mary lectured less as you run your arm in pain.

“She started it.” Alessia fired back, sending you glares. If looks could kill, you’d be on the floor dead.

“I thought that was quite easy. Challenge complete, no? I think you two failed because you haven’t finished yours. Clearly russos aren’t good with hot shots. It’s a good thing you’ll be an Earps soon.” Mary changed the subject otherwise you and Alessia would have kept arguing.

“I can’t wait to be an Earps.” You whispered, mainly to Mary as she looked down at you smiling before pressing your lips on hers.

As much as you loved kissing Mary, it being one of your favourite things to do, this time was different.

All you could taste was the drink on Mary’s lips and tongue.

“I’m gonna throw up.” You managed to get out as you ran to the bathroom once more, throwing your head in the toilet.

Mary came and rubbed your back, comforting you.

“Fuck. I’m never having one of them again.” You told Mary as you leant your back against the wall.

“You alright, sis?” Alessia asked, genuinely concerned, a whole juxtaposition to how she normally is.

“Yeah, I’m alright. I’m traumatised of kissing Mary again now.” You said, lying a bit just to see Mary’s reaction.

“What? You don’t want to kiss me again? Nope. I’m not having that.” Mary panicked, immediately grabbing her toothbrush and toothpaste to wash her mouth.

“Baby, I’m joking. Calm down.” You rested a hand on Mary’s cheek, rubbing it.

“I really want to kiss you.” Mary announced and you sent her a sympathetic smile.

“Brush your teeth and then you can.”

“Oh my god. You’ve just kissed her and now you want to kiss her again. I swear to god, you’re gonna have no face by the time you get married. Do you know what? I’m gonna go call Luca. At least he’ll talk to me without someone kissing him, unlike you. I’m his favourite sister as well so I know he’ll pick up.” Alessia said, grabbing her phone and began to walk out.

“Less?” You called out and she turned to face you. “Sorry to tell you but Luca’s told me I’m his favourite.”

“Go away, Y/N.” Alessia snapped, slamming the door behind her.

Mary had erratically brushed her teeth, immediately bringing you in for a passionate kiss as soon as she had finished.

Her hands roamed your body and landed on the hem of your shirt playing with it before sliding up and over your head, your lips parting for a second before connecting again.

Mary picked you up, your legs wrapping round her hips as she attacked your neck, light moans leaving your lips.

She began walking into the bedroom but your body tensed as you looked at it.

Mary felt your body tense up and stopped kissing your neck to look up at you.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Mary asked, her eyes following your gaze as hers widened.

Maya was laid on the bed, watching tv with a smile on her face, knowing exactly what she was doing.

“Maya, you fucking cockblock!”

[bwabys-scenarios]

Hi bwaby ~ I’m new to your page and I love your yandere posts ^^ I’m reading the ones you’ve written for Kurapika. I saw your requests were open.

How do you think hxh yanderes would respond to their captive s/o having a panic/anxiety attacks when their captor tries to get intimate? How would they go about that?

🖤 ur work 🖤🖤🖤 thnx

Yandere!HXH respond to you panicking during intimacy

!!REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!

warnings: dubcon, panic attack, bad aftercare, forced cuddling, slight manipulation/coercion with Chrollo(it backfires), vomit in Chrollo’s, Feitan is emotionally distant, Kurapika is unstable

A/N: just a little note that none of my yanderes will ever rape the reader. I just include dubious consent because being captive blurs the lines of consent. Can you really consent when you’re captive? I don’t know, so I include it just in case, even though in my eyes reader is always consenting during these acts. I’m not comfortable with writing out rape, so this situation is the farthest I go.

characters included: Kurapika, Leorio, Chrollo, Feitan, Illumi

Yandere NSFW: @lightshowerrr @jungtoast @nenggie @aliceattheart @pannacottababy

‼️If you want to be added to the taglist, please check out the taglist information then comment what you want to be added to! Make sure you have your age in your bio and that your blog can be tagged/mentioned!‼️

Kurapika

First of all, Kurapika is VERY hesitant to initiate any intimacy after he takes you away. He wants you to get used to your captivity before he starts anything.

Kurapika is also the only yandere on this list that won’t be overly pushy in terms of physical contact most if the time, and honestly he’s okay if you never love him again… even if he really wants you to love him and give him lots of affection. He knows he did something unforgivable by taking you away from your life, and he’s willing to be hated by you if it means you’ll be safe.

Now, when you do eventually initiate some kind of intimacy he is over the moon. He would do anything for you, desperate to please you and make the experience as good as possible. Kurapika wants your love, your physical touch, and he wants it willingly.

So when he initiates, kissing along your neck with his hand gently rubbing your clothed cunt, he stops immediately when you start to panic. “My angel? Are you okay?”

He’s quick to pull away and give you space. His hands shake and he feels guilt and panic rise in his own chest. Did he just ruin all of the progress the two of you had?

But you calm down after a little, and lean against him. “I… I’m sorry, I just… I got really anxious.”

He’s quick to wrap his arms around you, tentatively smoothing out your hair. “Don’t apologize… shh, just relax. We don’t have to do anything.”

Kurapika spends the rest of the night just a bit unstable, terrified that he’ll do something to upset you. He just loves you so much and he doesn’t want to lose your love and affection when he just got it back. The next day he makes sure to pamper you more than usual, and he’s almost a bit clingy… as if he’s scared he’ll lose you.

Leorio

He’s pretty handsy, though most of his touches are just affectionate in nature. When you cuddle, he has his hand in your ass or thigh, kneading at the soft flesh.

Leorio likes to have you in his lap as often as possible, where he can move you as he pleases as cover you in kisses as he holds you as close as possible.

He’s eager to get back to sex after he takes you, though he won’t push… too much. Leorio is just super clingy and you’re already sitting pretty on his lap, the only thing separating you from his is that pretty skirt you’re wearing!

It was a normal day, with you sitting in his lap after he tugged you his way. But this time, instead of the usual soft squish he’d give your thigh or kisses to your cheek or the top of your head, Leorio started moving you back and forth against the bulge firming in his pants.

You instantly froze, feeling his warm breath on your neck. When you began to panic and cry, Leorio paused for a moment. “Princess? Something wrong?”

When you started to struggle, he gently set you down. The air was thick and heavy with tension and awkward energy. He scratched the back of his neck, his boner gone. “You alright?”

You shook your head. “I… I don’t want to, Leorio… I’m scared…”

He felt his heart break a little, but he was quick to reach out and gently ruffle your hair. “Don’t be scared… I won’t… do anything to you that you don’t want…”

But it felt a bit hypocritical, considering he did steal you from your old life against your will. Leorio had standards though, and one of those was not assaulting people.

That night, he was way less clingy than usual, giving you some space and time to process things… but you joined him in bed for snuggles later.

Chrollo

He kept telling you he wanted to make your first time with him special, that he’d buy you flowers and pretty lingerie to wear. He even suggested getting a nicer hotel than usual, which was shocking because the hotels you usually stayed in with him were beyond luxurious.

So when the special night came, he took you out to a fancy dinner, letting you order whatever you wanted. You had become very complacent, accepting the fact you’d never be able to escape him… not even in death.

So you are your food, and you bathed before putting on the set of lingerie he surely paid a high price for, and sat on the bed, waiting for him to get back from a meeting with some phantom troupe members that were in town.

The wait already had you anxious, but the way he kept going on and on about how perfect he made everything and how much effort he put into this night put a lot of pressure on you to do well.

And that was on purpose. He wanted you to know just how much he had done for you… how much he craved and adored you. With him, you would be endlessly pampered and loved… all you had to do was be a good girl and do as he said.

So by the time he got back, you were already anxiously fidgeting with your lacy black lingerie, biting your lip.

Now… he didn’t want to make you anxious, just a little nervous. He thought it would be cute to see you squeak like a timid little mouse as he took you… he didn’t want you to stiffly lie down and tear up when he unbuttoned his shirt.

And he hadn’t expected you to throw up from the stress of it all.

He felt a bit guilty, you were crying and muttering apologies as he called for room service, trying to clean it up yourself. Had he instilled that much fear in you that you shook in terror at the thought of upsetting you? That’s not what Chrollo wanted… despite his sly and manipulative nature, he wanted you to genuinely love him and see him as someone that protected and took care of you.

So once you calmed down a little, he pulled you in and snuggled you, kissing the top of your head. “I..: apologize. We’ll do this at your pace.”

You couldn’t really break away from his grip… and you didn’t want to anger him, so you let him hold you close and gently rock you.

Feitan

Feitan already is absolute garbage with intimacy, so it’s rare he’ll initiate anything. He’s both insecure and emotionally distant, but also longs for your affection and physical touch.

But he also HATES physical touch… so being his darling is a confusing experience where you’re constantly walking on eggshells.

The rare instances when he tries to be intimate with you, you almost leap with joy. He’s the only other human you have physical contact with, and you’ve almost gone crazy without touch and affection.

He’s very insecure and sensitive to rejection, so when he touches you, even if it’s just subpar, you praise him endlessly with soft whimpers and moans. He’s pretty skilled with his fingers considering he was a virgin before he met you.

So when he’s got his hands on your hips and ready to push his cock into your pretty pussy, instead of the usual happy whines you make… you instead whimper and shy away from him.

He’s tortured many people, so he can recognize the signs of a panic attack easily. You don’t know what came over you, but you just started to break down, crying and rocking yourself.

Feitan froze up, not knowing what to do. He’s not used to comforting others, and he already feels the harsh sting of rejection from your reaction. Was he that bad?

But… he’s able to push that away. He puts a blanket over your naked form and gently rubs your back while looking the other way.

“… don’t have to. Just say when don’t want it.”

And that’s all you get. He doesn’t kiss away your tears or clean you up… but it’s a big step forward. For Feitan, comforting another human being is hard, so the fact he’s trying for you proves that you mean something to him.

[luvonmes-blog]

warnings/labels - MINORS DNI! fem! reader, there a little plot, reader walks in on satoru and suguru, fingering, oral (f and m! receiving), doggstyle, full nelson, there’s sm more but idek tbh just be warned, this is absolutely filthy it came from the depths of my mind.

authors note - based off a picture i saw on tiktok and i’ve been horny since.

this picture btw.

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you hadn’t meant to walk in on the scene that was unfolding in front of you.

all you wanted was a break from the pestering that came from yaga. “y/n do this.” “y/n do that.” “y/n you’re slacking off.” “y/n pay attention.” “y/n you’re better than this.” while you knew he meant well, your body was so tired, absolutely drained from the nonstop hours of training. every time you took a step a sharp pain shot up your left side and your hips hurt from every movement. you tried to explain it to yaga and how you needed a break but he was adamant on continuing to train. (muttering to himself about how if you tried just a bit harder you could be just as good or even better than satoru gojo.) you never paid much mind to it, you knew satoru gojo was the absolute best of the best and with his best friend, suguru geto, beside him. you had no chance of surpassing them, not fully understanding the extent of your own power yet.

so, instead of showing up to your training session with yaga today, you skipped. choosing to wander around the halls of your school. you had been transferred in only recently, yaga had found out about you through the grapevine, hearing people whisper about the weird girl who could do strange things and he eventually convinced your family to let you come back to Tokyo Jujutsu High with him. claiming it would be better for not only you, but them as well. you hadn’t gotten used to your new surroundings yet and barely have gotten to know the people.

exploring your new school was much more fun than being pushed to and over your limit by yaga, you saw other students training, teachers you hadn’t seen before and even spoken to a couple of classmates! it was exciting… until you saw yaga down the hall, fuming and doing only what you could assume was looking for you. you ran the opposite direction, sprinting down the halls until you came upon an empty hallway. you slipped into the first door you could. pressing your back against it and breathing deeply, happy you escaped yaga. but what you hadn’t expected was the sight in front of you when you opened your eyes.

the familiar white hair had another persons fingers buried in them, tugging on the white tufts. that hand belonged to the other man, black hair out of its usual bun. satoru gojo was on top of suguru geto with his tongue shoved so for down his counterparts throat you were honestly wondering how he hadn’t choked. you let out a squeak and the two men separated quickly , suddenly on opposite sides of the couch (it was then that you noticed you slipped into the common room.) both of their faces red in embarrassment and an obvious bulge in their pants.

“i- i’m sorry.” you started to apologize profusely. “i didn’t know you were in here. i didn’t mean to. i’ll leave. i’m sorry- so sorry.” it was nothing but word vomit spilling from you lips. you went to slide the door open but paused. you knew if you went back out there yaga would find you and you don’t think you could handle any training today. with your body so sore and the heat building between your legs, you didn’t think you could handle anything today. before you could move any further, one of the men from behind you spoke.

“it’s fine.” satoru. “it’s our mistake we shouldn’t have been doing that in such a public area.” he reassured you. “how about you just come and take a seat?” he looked over to the stare he felt coming his way, suguru looked at him questioningly, the distaste at him inviting you onto the couch all over his face.

“no! um- no. i sh- should probably go. yaga is probably looking for me.”

“you would rather spend the day with yaga?” it was suguru who spoke now, his voice deeper and oh so smooth.

“well, no but i- i have training to do and stuff so… yeah.” you laughed awkwardly.

“join us.” satoru said, the statement sounding much more scandalous than it should have given your current position. “we insist.” he added, motioning to the space between him and suguru. you look between the two, satorus hands still gesturing to the spot between them and suguru giving you a nod. you make your way over slowly, giving them the chance to change their minds, to kick you out so they could continue about their business but as you sit down next to them you have still yet to realize, satorus gotten you exactly where he wants you. he slides closer to you, so close his thigh is pressed up against yours and you can feel his breathing in your hair. “you’re y/n, right?” you give an affirmative nod.

you feel something shift behind you and look over to notice that satoru is poking sugurus cheek and then waving his hand. motioning for him to come closer as well. suguru slides next to you and now you’re trapped. trapped between the two giant men who are overwhelmingly close, so close you can smell them. satoru smelled fresh, like just out the dryer laundry and linen on a breezy day while suguru smelled warm, like honey and vanilla on a freshly baked pastry roll and the two mixed together had your head reeling. you felt so dizzy from just being between the two and your mind wandered. you wanted them on you. in you. you wanted to drown in them.

“y’know i’ve heard rumors about you.” you looked at him, bright blue eyes that were usually covered by dark glasses staring right into your soul. “i’ve heard you’re strong.” his lips tugged upwards into a small smile. “isn’t that right, suguru?” the way the other man’s name fell from his lips should have been a sin, drawn out and damn near a whine. you wanted to moan just from his voice.

“mhmm.” the dark haired man slid closer, closer than you thought was possible, pressing himself against you. “we heard yaga thinks you could be one of the best. right up here with me and satoru.”

“do you think that’s true?” saturo questioned. you shook your head no. “oh, that’s sad. thought i’d actually have some competition here besides suguru.” he pouted, plump lips pulled down into a frown and you wanted nothing more the to kiss them up into his dazzling smile. his beautiful eyes staring into yours made you more nervous than you’d like to admit so you turned your head forwards, looking at your hands placed neatly in your lap. the boys’ bodies pressed closer to yours, smushing you but you hadn’t thought anything of it, they had been doing this for the past ten minutes. but that had changed when you heard the familiar sounds of lips smacking behind you. your head shot around so quickly you swore you felt a crack in your neck. there they were, making out right in front (technically behind) you.

satoru now had a hand buried in sugurus hair, fingers pulling the dark strands. their tongues intertwining with each others. your eyes were wide, mouth agape as you watched. a hand tracing up your thigh drew your attention between your legs. that hand being satorus and his fingers disappeared into your skirt as the digits pressed against the fabric of your underwear, soaked through with your arousal. his fingers rubbed your clit through the fabric and you moaned. another hand cupped your face, large palm nearly engulfing it before it turned your head. your eyes met with brown ones before his lips were pressed against yours. sugurus lips were so soft and warm against your own. satoru rubbed your clit just right, a moan escaping your lips and suguru took that as a chance to slip his tongue into your mouth. with both of the men on you your mind was so muddled with thoughts. what they could do to you what they would do to you. the thoughts that plagued your mind caused a visceral reaction, you keened into sugurus mouth as your eyes rolled and closed.

satoru was mouthing at your neck, surely leaving marks everyone would see. his hand that was rubbing your clit pushing you towards climax as suguru swallows any moans and mewls that escaped your lips. all too soon, both men pulled back. the orgasm satoru was building you up to fizzled away and you could still feel the electricity of sugurus lips against yours. “why- why’d you stop?” you panted, eyes wild as you looked between the men.

“oh~, you want us?” satoru mocked. you nodded your head enthusiastically.

“words.” suguru growled. one hand wrapped around your neck while the other pushed strands of hair out of your face.

“please. please want you. both of you. so bad, please.” you begged unabashedly, no shame in your tone. satorus hands made their way back under your skirt, slipping into your underwear as well. his fingers traced your swollen clit before making their way to your entrance. he rubbed feather light circles around it, making your hips jump, before pushing a finger in.

“she’s so tight suguru.” he giggled. “can’t wait to feel her around my cock.” you moaned aloud before sugurus hand lightly slapped your cheek.

“you should keep it down. you don’t wanna get caught, do you?” your pussy clenched around satorus finger, thighs trembling and suguru laughed. “i bet you do. you’re a nasty little slut aren’t you?” his tone was sarcastic but the words went straight to your cunt. satoru pushed a second finger in, stretching you open. “i bet you want someone to walk in. seeing you cream all over pretty boys fingers right. hm?” he was directly in your ear, his breath fanning over you. “want everyone to see how much of a slut the new girl is.” you clenched so hard around satorus fingers he had to stop moving. your eyes crossed and rolled back from the effects of your orgasm. your chest heaving as the two men watched. a smirk settling onto sugurus lips as he looked at satoru, his eyes gleaming as he felt you pulsing around his fingers.

“aww, look at you pretty girl. cumming so hard jus’ cause of some fingers. aren’t you sweet.” you could hear the smile in satorus voice.

“more.” your voice was so small you weren’t sure they heard you but they did. their eyes locking with each others and it’s like they could read their minds. suguru shifted you so your back was now against his chest. his own legs spread yours apart as satoru got on his knees. he pushed your thighs apart more before suguru cupped them with his hands, lifting them up and open for satoru. he pulled the gusset off your underwear aside and you squeaked as the cold air of the common room met your pussy. you felt so exposed in this position, legs spread wide and unable to move as suguru locked his hands against your stomach. a yelp escaped you as you felt a stripe being licked up your pussy. your cum and arousal gathered on the tip of satorus tongue before he gulped it down.

“she tastes so good, suguru. you gotta see for yourself.” satoru traced his fingers along your slit, collecting your wetness before lifting his hand beside your face, to sugurus and putting his fingers into his best friends mouth. suguru sucked your essence of satorus fingers greedily and you mewled, a low whine escaping your lips.

“he’s right, princess.” suguru muttered into your ear. “you taste delicious.” before you could respond satoru had buried his face into your pussy. lapping at you as if it was the last thing he would do. you moaned so loud you were sure you would get caught. satoru sucked on your clit as he pushed two fingers into you, curling them just right to meet your sweet spot. you keened and suguru groaned into your ear. “as much as i love the way you sound, pretty girl, you gotta keep it down.” satoru heard the conversation above him and pulled back, you whined at the loss of contact. satoru sat up and tapped his hands against sugurus, suguru let go of your thighs and satoru took the chance to slide your panties off. the garment was quickly shoved into your mouth.

“he said you have to be quiet, right? i guess we’ll just have to teach you to listen.” he gave a quick kiss to your cheek before making his descent back down. suguru held your legs back up. satoru nipped at your clit and you jumped, yelp muffled from the underwear in your mouth. satorus lapping at you a like a man starved, tongue buried in your pussy as his nose rubs against your clit. he’s breathing you in and he feels that if this is how he goes - suffocating in your sweet pussy - then he’s fine with that. he moves his face back up, licking at your clit as he pushed two fingers into your tight walls. your cunt clenches around them, wordlessly begging him for more. he pumps them slowly at first and speeds up at he keeps going. your back is trying to arch but failing as suguru holds you snugly against his chest.

satoru is jamming his fingers against your g-spot and spreading his saliva and your wetness everywhere. your cries are muffled due the the panties in your mouth and tears are leaking down your face. you’re stiffly humping satorus face, movements restricted by sugurus strong arms. the movement not only has you grinding on satorus face but also sugurus cock confined in his pants. sugurus panting in your ear, face flushed as you move against him and it takes all his willpower to not cum in his pants. he lets go of your legs and starts pushing satorus head. as he comes up for air from your pussy, looking at suguru confusedly, the dark haired man starts roughly rubbing your clit. his fingers and moving fast and as satorus fingers are pressing into your sweet spot, they send you hurtling over the edge. you cry out so loud you’re not sure the soiled garment that was shoved into your mouth is doing it’s job. what the two men don’t expect is when your pussy drenches satorus face as you squirt all over him. the white haired males face is soaked in your arousal, it dripping from his chin, as his counterparts pants are completely wet through.

“didn’t know you were a squirter, baby.” satoru says as he wipes his mouth with his sleeve. “it’s ok though.” he eyes are dark as he forces you to look at him, his hand has an iron grip on your jaw. “because we’re gonna make you do it again.” the underwear that he previously shoved into your mouth was pulled out and thrown into the distance somewhere. you’re pulled off sugurus lap and he’s pushed back, laying along the couch as you’re on your hands and knees now. satorus quick to unzip his pants and flip your skirt up, rubbing his tip up and down your slit. you stare at suguru in front of you, the large bulge in his pants directly in front of your face. you move your hand up to paw at his clothed cock, cupping him through his pants. you lick a strip up his pants, wetting them as you go.

“please. take them off.” you mutter against him, his cock jumping. suguru hands rush to unzip his pants and slip them down just enough for his cock to spring free. your mouth is immediately licking a stripe from base to tip up his length. he’s so thick, so very thick and you wonder if you’ll be able to take him all. the answer might be no but you won’t stop yourself from trying. just as you take sugurus tip into your mouth, satoru is pushing his cock into you. you moan and your eyes cross as he pushes in inch by inch. he’s long, you can feel he’s not as thick as suguru but he makes up for it in length. when he’s finally all the way in his zipper is digging into your ass and his cock is pressed so deep into you, you swear you can feel him in your throat.

“pay attention to what you’re doing, sweet girl.” satoru whispers in your ear as he hunches over you. “it’d be a shame if you accidentally bit such a pretty cock. trust me, i’d know.” he sits back up and spreads your ass cheeks. watching as your pretty pussy clenches around him. his first thrust is harsh. the wet sound of his cock in you has you moaning, the vibration from the noise has suguru grunting. you start sucking him off slowly, working your way down his cock. satorus face is flushed behind you. red all the way up to his ears as he thrust in and out of you. you’re clenching around him so tight he’s truly wondering how he could go this long without your pussy.

“fuck, just like that pretty girl.” suguru let’s his head fall back as you suck him off. you look so pretty with such a fat cock in your mouth but he’s fears that if he watches any longer, he won’t be able to stop himself from cumming down your throat so soon. “you’re so good with your mouth.” he moans and he sounds so good. if this is how he sounded with his dick down your throat you wonder how he’ll sound buried in your cunt. satorus no better behind you. his head is thrown back as whimpers escape his lips, he sounds so fucked out and you’ve barely started.

“you’re so tight, y’know that?” he whines to you. “squeezin’ my cock so good. gonna milk me for all i’m worth.” he watches as you suck of his best friend and his hand slips into your hair. “you gotta go faster, sweetheart. you wanna get him off? suck him harder.” you obliged hollowing your cheeks around sugurus cock and as you did so, satoru moved you up and down his best friends cock. pushing and pulling you by the hair as he taught you how to suck suguru just right.

“f-fuck slow down!” suguru cries out. you’re moving too fast and he barely has time to announce he’s cumming before long thick ropes are being pushed down your throat. satoru pushes your head all the way down your nose meeting sugurus pubes as he cums down your throat and you moan around his cock. the vibration has sugurus hips jolting from overstimulation. you’re clenching around satorus cock so hard his eyes cross and whines so loud.

“keep going baby, keep sucking him off.” suguru looks at satoru, panicked. you already got an orgasm out of him and such a strong one he’s not sure he can cum again but you listen and you keep going. sugurus whimpering above you and he tries to push you away but satoru slaps his hands. the hand that he was using to guide you on sugurus cock is now between you legs as he rubs your clit. he’s trying to get you close. he knows you are but you just need that extra push, he needs you to cum before he does. his cock is pressed into your sweet spot and his fingers are rubbing over your clit. he bends over to speak to you, his chest pressed against your back.

“baby, i need you to cum for me. please, need it so bad. wanna feel you squirt around me. please.” he’s desperate and his words are just enough to send you over the edge. you do exactly as he says, squirting around his cock, making a mess all over the couch cushions. crying out as he continues to fuck into you. your orgasm triggers his own and presses so deep into you when he cums you swear you can feel the thick ropes entering your womb. you’re panting over sugurus cock and he twitches as your heavy breathes are on him.

“more.” both the boys’ ears perk up at the simple word uttered from you lips. you crawl up suguru, sitting your soaked pussy on his cock and he flinches in over sensitivity. “wanna be full.” you grind on him rolling your hips oh-so slowly and you reach behind you blindly for satoru who lets you grab him a pull him forward. “want to be full with both of you.” the two of them moan in unison wasting no time in lifting you up. your legs are spread aside sugurus hips and he drags his cock up and down your slit. he pushes in slowly, letting you get used to his girth and you moan into the open air. suguru sits up onto his elbows and quickly unbuttoning your shirt throwing it to the side and taking a perked up nipple into his mouth. he leans back down taking you along with him. with your back arched and ass up in the air satoru can see suguru slowly thrusting into you. his thick cock stretching you open.

the white haired man watched you suck sugurus cock into your tight pussy. you’re moaning as suguru sucks your nipple swirling his tongue around it and nipping it lightly his other hand pinching the other. you push back, taunting satoru with a shake of your ass and suguru groans at the friction. satoru presses up against you his cock rubbing against sugurus as he slowly presses his tip into your hole that was already spread by suguru. he pushes in slowly stretching you to your limit and rubbing himself against suguru.

“fuck.” you whimper as he slides all the way in. with him and suguru both sheathed deep within you, you swear you’ve never felt this full. one of them moves and you squeak. “wait! wait, please just give me a second.”

“it’s ok.” suguru rubs your hair. “take your time, pretty girl.” you nod against him, the stretch of the two of them inside burns but eventually fizzling out to a pleasant sting.

“ok.” you whine. “you can move.” suguru thrusts up first, the friction of his cock rubbing against satoru has the white haired boy moaning above you and he starts moving too. the timed difference in their thrusts never leaves you empty and you swear you see the pearly gates. they’re both pressing into spots you hadn’t known existed until now causing your body to tremble, your moans are so loud they’re drowning out satorus whines and sugurus groans. “faster. faster!” they oblige to your commands their hips moving at godspeed.

“she’s so tight isn’t she, suguru.” satoru whines as he fucks you.

“so fuckin tight.” suguru agrees. you’re to blissed out to actually comprehend what they’re saying but you eat it up anyway, nodding as if to agree.

“i’m gonna cum!” you cry out. the two of them pushing towards your orgasm.

“you better fucking hold it.” sugurus demands but you shake your head.

“i can’t!” you sob. fat tears rolling down your cheeks. “i can’t! i’m gonna- ah~” you meant it. before the words leave your mouth you’re squirting all over sugurus stomach, clenching tightly around the two. your vision turns white, eyes unfocused as you have the most earth shattering orgasm of your life. by the time you gain control over your body again you’re still letting out small spurts of arousal onto the dark haired man and his counterpart is rubbing your clit. this brings another orgasm or maybe the first one is drawn out, you couldn’t tell. your face falls onto sugurus neck and you feel the two men’s cocks throb before they’re both filling you up. suguru cums with a low grunt while his toes curl and satoru keens into your ear and feels the orgasm in his spine. your thighs are trembling as they pull out, quaking uncontrollably and your cunt clenches pushing out fat globs of their seed.

“fuck, is that a sight.” satoru chuckles as he watches the globs of his and sugurus mixed cum spill from your cunt and drip onto sugurus balls. “i didn’t really think this through because who the fuck is cleaning all this up.” he looks at the mess you three made of the common room. your clothes everywhere and pools of mixed arousal on the sofa.

“i don’t know.” suguru says dumbfounded and you mutter something sleepily before burying your face into sugurus neck and breathing deeply. as your breathing evens out and gets deeper the two quickly figure you’re asleep. suguru sits up finds your top and covers you back up and pulls his pants up - struggling just a bit with you on his lap. satoru dresses as well and takes you from suguru, wrapping your legs around his waist and holding onto you tightly.

“how about we take her to her dorm.” he rocks you gently as if you’re a toddler in attempts to wake you up. “where’s your room, pretty girl?”

“don’t wake her, satoru.” suguru grumbles before standing up. “i’ll clean up around here.”

“ok so… i guess i’ll take her to my room.” he makes his way to the door already having made up his mind.

“hey,” suguru calls for him “don’t try anything, let her rest.” he warns.

“yeah, yeah i will.” he rolls his dazzling blue eyes. he carries you out of the common room hearing suguru grumbling to himself about the mess and makes his way to his dorm. eventually ending his trek by placing you in his bed and he watches you get comfortable before pushing some of your sweat soaked hair off your forehead and as he noticed your cunt was still uncovered he looked back up to your face. he couldn’t wait for you to wake back up.

he wasn’t done with you just yet.

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i’m literally feral.

[rosie-writings]

Drag Me Under

Request: anon—Colby and Reader are friends who won’t admit their romantic feelings to one another, and in order to make her jealous, Colby interacts with another girl, but instead, it makes the Reader distance herself from him. Make it very angsty and fluffy.

Summary: Colby decides to get with another girl to make the Reader confess her feelings for him, but it backfires nearly costing them their friendship instead.

Warnings: Angst, Jealousy, Vomiting, Alcohol, Colby x Reader smut, Unprotected sex, Couple Arguing, Crying during sex, Body worship, Praises, and fluff that will put tears in your eyes…

Words: 9.8k

No Y/N Used

Title is from ‘Drag Me Under’ by Sleep Token

My heart ached with every second I wasn’t safely unaware in my sleep.

A desperation gnawed bone deep, and I wasn’t in any place to get rid of it. Every second I was in that house my stomach was in knots to the point where I couldn’t hold food down.

I hated him; oh I hated him so much that it made me sick.

And then not even my sleep was safe.

I thrusted awake in the dead of night with sweat across my skin and my legs pushed so tightly together I thought I would combust. The last time I woke up teetering the edge of a climax I was in high school when hormones were high and common sense was low.

I lay there until the sun cast a blue sheen to my room, and thought about whether his hands in real life would feel as world shattering. 

And then I would see him in real life, he would open his mouth, and I would roll my eyes and inwardly kick myself. For such a pretty face and beautiful body, he sure was a bonehead and a half. God, it pissed me off. Every time he opened his mouth I was reminded how clueless he was, how much of an idiot he was.

So tell me why I was head over heels for Colby when there wasn’t a chance in heaven or hell he’d look in my direction for anything more than brainless banter?

“The fuck happened to you?” I shot a glare in Jake’s direction when I entered the kitchen. My eyes must have been puffy and red since it took work to keep them opened. I heard the padded soles of my house shoes against the tile; I couldn’t even take full steps without dragging my feet. He sat at the island—in my opinion, with no better appearance than me—eating cereal and scrolling on his phone.

”Why are you here?” I snapped back. “You’ve been back for longer than you’ve lived here.”

”Jesus Christ,” he laughed. “I forgot how rough you were in the morning.”

”Talk to me about it again and I’ll dig your eyeballs out with that spoon—“

”It’s nine in the morning, why are we doing this already?” I glared at Sam as he walked in the room. I proceeded to make my own lazy cereal.

”He said I looked a certain way—“

”I didn’t say you looked like anything, I just asked what happened to you?”

”Nothing did,” I snapped back and whirled around to face him. “But something might happen to you if you don’t shut up.” Jake’s eyes widened as they glanced down at the spoon I pointed at him.

”I don’t think a spoon will do anything to him,” Sam said. I glared at him next.

”Want to find out?” He took a step back when I took a step towards him. I sized him up. “You’re not worth dirtying another spoon.”

I grabbed my bowl of cereal and walked out of the kitchen. 

Last night we had a party. 

Now, I’m not one to usually lose myself at a house party—that was such a lie—but apparently I took it too far last night, and throwing up before it’s one am and looking like road kill in the morning “ruins parties” or something. I assumed Colby was still asleep. Or at least in his room.

I walked up there and held my breath when my knees hurt while taking the stairs. I took a bite of cereal and didn’t even think twice before barging into his room. He was still in bed; laid on his stomach with an arm over the edge like he checked the time on his phone but then fell back asleep mid placing it back on the table. 

He made a deep whining noise as to say “what the fuck are you doing here” but I didn’t mind it and closed the door behind me. 

“Dipshits downstairs were threatening me already and I thought you’d be too asleep to do that so I’m tolerating your presence for breakfast.”

”It’s like—“ He squinted as he checked his phone. “It’s nine forty. Why aren’t you asleep?”

”You’re the only one still in bed.” He grumbled and lay back down albeit this time on his back. I walked over and sat on the edge of his bed facing him with my legs crossed. I took another bite. His head lifted and he looked at me then my bowl and then he plopped back down.

”Why are you here?”

”Jesus fuck if you all want me to leave so bad—”

”No, don't go,” he said as I went to get up. I sat back down.

I took another bite in hopes that if I swallowed cereal the butterflies in my throat would go down with it. His voice was so much deeper than usual and his hair poked in every direction. He ran a hand through it as he focused on whatever was on his phone. 

“Weren’t we going on the podcast toda—“

”Oh shit, yeah,” he interrupted me as if his remembrance was too visceral to keep quiet. Then he sat up. The blanket fell to his lap and his hands covered his face. Then he looked at me and then my cereal again.

”You better not have taken the last of it.”

”Tell that to Jake and Sam.” He shook his head. “When did you even go to bed last night?”

”I think like four or something,” he replied with a yawn.

”Oh,” I said and took my last bite.

”You were asleep by probably two,” he scoffed. I wanted to kick him but it would have been too much work. He laughed and continued, “Fuck you were so sick I thought I was going to have to make people leave, but Tara brought you in the bathroom for like an hour and then you fell asleep.”

”God forbid a girl be a lightweight.”

”Last night was worse than usual, did you do anything different?” I sighed and recounted my steps yesterday. I went with the boys on a hike and we had a late breakfast then I filmed a video with a friend so by the time I made it back home, we had a small snack for dinner and the party started. I also had four too many shots.

”I didn’t eat enough and drank a lot more than I usually do.”

”You’re an idiot.”

”Me? You’re the idiot for forcing me to go on that stupid hike and then I’m hungry all night and the alcohol wasn’t hitting me—“

”You’re so dumb,” he laughed and shook his head as he stood up from bed. My throat clamped tightly together as my eyes fell down his body and up again before he would notice. “Maybe you should have eaten something then.”

”I had chips.”

”Chips aren’t enough when you drink that much.”

”Whatever,” I grumbled. I didn’t have the grit in me to bicker with him, not when he looked like a God despite slowly making his way into his bathroom with a light hangover. I couldn’t look away from his dark skin when he curved the corner out of sight. 

I didn’t care if he might have caught my gaze in the reflection of the mirror.

“Is only Sam and Jake here?” He asked. I had to choke down the tension in my throat.

”Um, I’m not sure. I saw them then ran because they were being mean.”

”I mean they’re not wrong; we all look like shit after a party.”

”You’re an asshole.”

”Someone has to be.”

”Not all of you can be mean to me! Besides,” I swallowed tightly when he walked across the doorway towards the sink. He washed his hands before washing his face. “I’m about to be put through the ringer right now; Tara said she was coming back before the podcast so we can take photos or something.” 

He walked back in the room and it took work to look at him in the eyes.

”Sam and I might go—“

”On a damn hike again, I thought so.” He laughed and slung his jeans at me before he pulled them on.

”You should order real breakfast for everyone,” he said when he pulled on a shirt and grabbed a hat, his phone, and shocks and shoes.

”Alright, give me your phone.” He rolled his eyes and tossed it to me.

I followed him downstairs while scrolling through breakfast options.

“Hey Sam,” Colby said as I followed him into the kitchen.

”Oh hey.”

”Wow he’s up already.”

”Do you have shit to talk to everyone when they first wake up?” I snapped at Jake. He burst out laughing. 

“Want to go still?” Colby asked Sam and completely ignored my banter with Jake.

”Yeah let’s go,” Sam said and rinsed his cup out at the sink.

”No no, that wasn’t talking shit. I only save that for you.” I flicked him off as he picked up his backpack. “I’m going. Got some stuff to do apparently,” Jake said.

”Yeah cool, we’re going out for a little bit anyway. Unless you’re up for a morning hike.”

”I’m not up for anything that starts with the word ‘morning.’” Jake said back, and I rolled my eyes as I purposely collided into my shoulder as he passed me. “See you guys.”

”See you,” Colby said and he turned to me. “You sure you wanna be here by yourself?”

”Rather than sweating my ass off in the am? Fuck yes. I’m taking a shower then parking my ass in bed until Tara gets here.”

”Fine,” Colby laughed. “Let’s go, Sam.” 

And they were gone.

I took a shower and paid extra attention to my puffy face. If photos were in my near future, I needed the help. Then I sat in bed like I said and watched Netflix while scrolling on TikTok until the food arrived.

It was an hour later when it did, and I was pushing the food in the oven to keep warm when Tara arrived.

”Oh my god it smells so good,” were her first words to me.

”I ordered food for us. We’ll have breakfast when Sam and Colby come back.” 

“Sweet. You’re in one piece this morning,” she giggled as she dropped her backpack and placed the smaller makeup bags on the island. I rolled my eyes.

”Yeah, a shower and a boy-less house works wonders I suppose.”

”I was surprised you didn’t crawl in bed with Colby last night. I mean, unless you did after I left.”

I choked on nothing.

”What do you mean?” I gasped; my face already heated up. What did I do last night?

”You had a lot to say about him when you were drunk and sobbing in the bathroom.”

”Tara,” I gasped quietly. “What did I say?” She laughed; a pink tone on her face. “Tara!”

”I didn’t know you wanted to kiss Colby so badly. You actually hide it really well. I mean… Mostly.” The walls around me crumbled and I turned away from her so she couldn’t see the blatant blush on my face. But it was too late, she burst out laughing. “It’s okay! It’s not that big of a—“

”No one was supposed to know that,” I mumbled.

”Okay, well I’m sorry your drunk self needed to tell someone that badly. At least it was me and not him. I had to convince him to not stay with us and that I could handle you.”

”Really?” I gasped. She nodded.

”How much do you remember?”

”Hardly anything.” She bit her lip in thought. “Tara,” I warned. “What else did I say?”

”You should talk to Colby.” My stomach fell out of my ass.

”No. No way. Why do you think I should—What else did I say about him?”

”You—well… All I’m saying is if you talk to him, I think it will all work out.” My eyes burned as tears nearly developed.

”Talk about him about what?” I gasped. “I don’t understand.”

”You know he likes you!” She finally yelled. “Like holy fuck! You two are down each other’s throats without actually being—Okay, listen to me very clearly. Colby is so head over heels for you. Just talk to him, okay?”

”What did I tell you?” My voice shook.

”You said you wanted to just kiss him and fuck him and then maybe he would love you the way you love him.”

I shut down. 

My breathing slowed and the tears filled my eyes. I couldn’t speak.

”You’re not stupid.” Her voice dropped as it filled with a comforting seriousness. “And you’re definitely not worthless. I know he’s an idiot—fuck, all the boys in this house are idiots—so that doesn’t mean his obliviousness means he doesn’t want you or doesn’t think you’re worth going for.”

”Tara,” I choked. “You’re dumb.” She laughed.

”I know, so are you. But you’re not an idiot.” I laughed harder and she hugged me before we took the bags and I led her down the hallway to my bedroom. 

“God, I can’t believe I said that.” She laughed.

”I mean, it’s not surprising. Also I take it back.” She sat on the bed as I opened up the bags. “You are an idiot becasue how the fuck do you not see how dumb he is about you?” I glared at her.

”He’s not—No. He doesn’t like me like that. If he did, he’s had plenty of times to tell me.”

“Which is why he’s an idiot.” I rolled my eyes.

”Let’s talk about something else.”

”Sure.”

Later, after photoshoots and after the boys came back and showered, we ate a one pm breakfast. There was no freeing myself from what Tara told me, and the thoughts reverberated behind my eyes sevenfold when Colby was around. It must have been obvious because I caught Tara’s stares or glares after I looked at Colby.

It was time to leave for the podcast. 

Tara left and said that she was getting ready with friends to go out that night to which the three of us contemplated. If the podcast went well and we didn’t have any other responsibilities, Sam said we would go.

“What about you then?” The interviewer turned to me. “What was your upbringing like? Because Sam and Colby’s were pretty different but they stayed together and formed this whole life around spirituality even if they grew up on and are kind of on different sides of now.”

”Yeah I grew up in a spiritual household like Colby,” I explained. “But it wasn’t really—It wasn’t that intense. I knew about spiritual things and spirits but it wasn’t really on my radar until I got older. I kind of developed an interest in it all after some experiences with friends in college. After feeling what spirits can do or-or make you feel like, I guess? It opened up an entire world I didn’t really care about and suddenly I needed to involve myself and understand it more. Because it’s fun.” I looked at the boys and Sam’s eyes went back to the interviewer’s as Colby’s lingered on mine. “And if like—clearly it’s affected my friends as much as it has—then how can I not be completely interested in it, you know?” I looked back at the interviewer.

”Has it changed the way you view religion then?” 

We talked about religion and spirituality for a while, and I didn’t mean to talk as long as I did about it. My hands shook and grew cold, and I got sick of the sound of my own voice.

”But no!” The interviewer said after I backed out. “It’s all so interesting and your beliefs and experiences mean a lot!” He went on to talk about his beliefs as well before handing the conversation back to the boys. 

“It’s all so subjective and personal, you know?” Colby started. “We may have different beliefs spiritually or within religion, but we all are on different journeys and I believe that what matters most is the life I lead when I’m here on earth. Like was I actually caring or had compassion for people or did I dwell on upholding close minded beliefs that turn me into a hypocrite? Like-Like if after we die, nothing is the way we thought it would be, at least I know that I did my best to care for other people and not control them.”

”I agree,” I said. “Which is why I’m so open to everything. Anything can be true, so in a way, what does it matter? Why does it matter so much believing in any one tangible religious doctrine if we aren’t even sure of it? I mean, the one thing we all are 100 percent sure about is that we’re all people. We’re all flesh and blood here regardless of anything else so I’m doing my best to take care of people and have compassion for them. Messing with ghosts is fun and even if we know they’re real or not—that’s not really my issue here—we-we don’t know what they are. Like yes, supernatural things have happened to us which can make us firm believers that there are spirits and there are things on the other side, but what I’m hung up on is how do we know for sure what we’re talking to? What if none of the spirits are people at all?” I felt Colby’s eyes on me and I had to look away from him and towards meaningless things in the room or else my tongue would tie.

”My logic is that we as physical people can’t see or go to the spiritual realm and talk with people—spirits—who passed. So then how can we as spirits—after death—talk to physical people now? It’s all a mystery and something we will never know so what’s the harm in trying to learn more and more?”

”That makes a lot of sense,” the interviewer said. He talked more, but I gambled and looked at Colby. Warmth was in his eyes when they met mine, and I was glad that Sam took the next talking bit because I didn’t know what was going on anymore. 

It took effort for both of us to look away and tune back into the conversation.

“I am fatigued,” I sighed dramatically as we kicked back in the car. Sam started music and put the car in drive.

”That was really good, though,” Colby said from the front passenger seat. I sat behind Sam and looked at Colby when he stole a glance at me.

”It was,” Sam agreed. “But now my brain is fried.”

”I mean what’s stopping us from going out then?” I asked playfully and Colby laughed.

”That’s true, Sam. We can chill now that that’s over.”

”Jesus, two nights in a row?” Sam gasped. 

“I can always make it three—“

”Fine,” he cut me off. “Text Tara and we’ll meet up with them at some point.”

After we got home, we went to our separate rooms to get ready. My brain was fried as well; Colby was right. I wanted to relax and have a good night with my best friends without ruining it like I did last night. 

As I finished putting on makeup, Colby came into my bathroom.

”Oh hi,” I said. 

“Hello.” He stood next to me. I needed to hold my breath and focus on myself in the mirror to keep from ogling over him. He looked so good. There weren’t words I could come up with to describe how good he looked to me. His skin was so dark; the late spring sun already had a vengeance for Los Angeles. And the black and white shirt he wore was one that always grabbed my attention in the worst way.

”Okay, you guys ready to go?” He nodded. I didn’t say anything about the way I caught his gaze falling down my body in the mirror like mine did to him that morning. 

”Sam’s on the phone then we’ll go.”

”Sweet.” 

“You look really good,” he said and my stomach tensed.

”You do too,” I replied with a confidence I didn’t think I had.

At the club, we found our friends and claimed our table for the night. 

“Okay, I’m getting like fourteen green tea shots,” Tara said.

”Holy shit, you trying to put us in the ground already?” One of her friends gasped. There were seven of us.

“It’s only two a person,” she clapped back.

”And it’s only like ten pm.” 

A while later, the shots were brought to our table. We drank one and I already felt the relaxation flood my skin like a warm blanket. I turned to Colby who stood at my side. 

His eyes were already on me.

“What?” I laughed.

”Nothing,” he said with a smirk and shook his head. He looked back at the table. He shoved his side into me and I shoved him back. We didn’t look at each other though as the conversations rolled on louder and louder.

By our fifth shot, I felt it. I really felt it.

Tara ordered us two mixed drinks already, and multiple drinks were between Sam and Colby as well. My heart raced with every brush of Colby’s arm on mine. He talked with his hands more the drunker he got, and every time he moved, his arm brushed against mine. 

Finally, he turned to me. Our attention was on each other and no one’s intervened.

”Keep touching me Colby and I’ll push you away.” He scoffed a laugh at my sudden words.

”Yeah pretend you don’t like it all you want.”

”What does that mean?” I coughed.

”I saw you looking at me. Fuck,” he laughed. A hand strung through his hair. “You always do. And I always notice. Especially when I’m not wearing any clothes.”

”Of course you know when I’m looking at you because you’re always staring at me first,” I laughed and his eyes darkened. “Have something to say to me?”

”Mm,” he sighed and looked away like we weren’t talking about anything important. “Not now.”

”Of course you don’t,” I jeered. He glared back at me.

”What does that mean?”

”It can mean whatever you want.” I turned back and sipped on my drink until the sound of bubbling air flowed through my black straw. 

“You’re really cute when you try to flirt with me,” he said quietly behind me.

The rest of my drink nearly shot up my nose.

”You’re ridiculous if you think I’m flirting with you.”

”Yeah? Then how many times have you looked at Sam like that?” I whirled around to face him with wide eyes.

”You’re saying a lot to someone that you call a best friend, aren’t you?” His eyebrows rose. 

“And you look at me and touch me a lot more than you would a best friend.”

”Maybe I’m a touchy person.”

”You got that right,” he scoffed. “Can’t say anything to you without you throwing a fit.”

”Don’t be a dick.”

”I don’t have to try to be one if I have one.” I grimaced.

”And you won’t have one if you don’t learn how to shut your dumb mouth—“

”What the fuck is happening?” Sam laughed as he stepped to us. We were a couple feet from the table. 

“I’m not sure,” he said too sweetly to me. “Ask her.”

”We’re not doing anything,” I laughed and shoved him away before I spun back to the table.

”Let’s go,” Sam said. Colby drank down the rest of his drink and left it on the table.

”Where are you going?” Tara asked as Sam pulled Colby further into the club.

”Perusing,” Sam replied and the boys were gone.

”That sounds disgusting,” Tara scoffed. I looked in the direction they went. “If you wanna go you can, we aren’t holding you here. But watching your best friends suck face doesn’t sound very pleasing to me.”

”Y-Yeah, I’ll stay here,” I said distantly. Tara grabbed my attention and looked at me in the eyes.

”You can go with them.” Her all knowing tone sickened me. I smiled as to not let on the rest of the girls and Jake and Johnnie onto anything if they noticed what we spoke about. 

“No no, let’s get more shots.”

I was wasted.

Utterly wasted.

The club was loud, the voices louder, and my friends’ hands on me as we enthusiastically spoke and danced and partied ebbed my frustration with Sam and Colby.

It had been an hour.

At most, maybe. I’m not sure. I lost my sense of time.

There was still no sign of them.

I couldn’t make out the words shared between Tara and her best friend. We sat on sofas now completely dumb and unable to stand without falling over. Jake and Johnnie lingered and talked to other people I recognized, but I couldn’t find Sam and Colby.

Until I saw a flash of familiarity.

There he was, Colby. He stood somewhere between the bar and the dance floor in perfect view. My eyes narrowed on him and he smiled and talked to a girl.

My stomach dropped. My blood boiled. I swallowed down nothing and my tongue got stuck to my throat due to dehydration.

She wore a tight little dress and her wavy hair draped down to her ass which was nearly out. I held my breath when her arms stringed around his neck.

Why was he talking to her? Like that nonetheless?

I watched as she got closer to him and then his hands were on her. I should have looked away if I was a good best friend and respected his privacy, but in my head, I wasn’t just a best friend to him.

Colby was mine.

So to see his eyes on her then his lips on her; it unraveled me. Acid burned my throat as I watched them talk. Her eyes met his lips and her body pushed to his—

When he kissed her, I jumped to my feet.

”What—Oh no.” I heard Tara ask me where I was going, but she must have seen Colby. He was that close to us. So much for fading into the darkness.

If I had gotten to the restrooms a millisecond later I would have missed the toilet.

”Hey,” Tara called as she said my name. She followed me into the stall. “Shit. Are-Are you really drunk?”

”What the fuck do you think?” I spat back with a roughened voice. Fire was in my eyes when I looked at her. “He-He fucking—oh my god—I’m going to kill him.”

”Yeah, hey I know. Let’s just-Let’s just chill for a second—“

”How can I chill, Tara?” I practically screamed. “Colby was fucking kissing someone!”

”What’s wrong with that?” She pried. I looked at her like she was delusional. Did she not remember the conversation she started with me this morning?

”What’s wrong with that? What’s wrong is that it’s not me!” 

And she smiled.

”There, finally you admit it.”

”Tara,” I cried. Tears welled in my eyes. “He’s so-He’s so stupid.”

”I know. Do you want to go ruin his night or something?” I contemplated it. Tears rushed down my face and I didn’t care if it ruined my makeup.

”No,” I sobbed. She looked at me with utter concern. “Because I just wanted him to be happy.”

She hugged me as I cried.

I swore something died in me the moment I saw him kissing her.

I knew Colby hooked up with girls sometimes and I knew it wasn’t serious. But I was serious about him even though he never would be serious with me. It was all too confusing. He flirted with me and called me out for flirting. He allowed me in his bed, but he never touched me, and he changed clothes in front of me frequently. We were as close as physically possible in every way except sexually.

Maybe he never liked me.

Maybe he never wanted me like I was delusional enough to believe.

I left that club with Tara before anyone else.

I wasn’t drunk anymore, but when I got home, I vomited until I cried again and again.

It was only a couple hours later at most when I heard commotion. The boys got home. I didn’t hear anyone else with them though. Then, the fighting.

”You’re just so fucking stupid.” Sam’s voice. “Make sure she did actually make it hom—oh wait yeah her shoes are right here.”

”What are you talking about?” Colby spat back at him. “I didn’t do any—“

”You know what the fuck you did.”

”Sam, don’t fucking start with me.”

”I brought you with me because I wanted you around me. And maybe help me get someone. I did not intend for you to make out with her.”

”I didn’t mean it like that.”

”Didn’t mean what? You kissed her literally right in front of them; in front of her!”

”I know…”

I couldn’t listen anymore. 

My bathroom was closer to the front of the house so I raced to my bed and lay in it. I cried until the sun rose, and sometime between dawn and mid morning, I fell asleep.

The next time I could tolerate the sun, it was late in the sky. I turned over and moaned at the tension in my back. I slept weird and still in my clothes from the night out. 

I crawled out of the pit that was my bed and checked the time. Three pm. I got up and immediately walked to the shower.

The water was so hot it inflamed my skin. I was puffy with redness, but I needed the sting. I needed the warmth because there was nothing inside of me. Colby was still Colby. Just less mine, right? I must have taken it too far. I let my emotions go and they were too connected to him. I had to move on. I couldn’t do this to myself anymore.

Thoughts circled my head and I felt the burning in my eyes.

But at least he’s happy.

Tears fell again.

I liked him; I loved him so much that it didn’t matter. I decided, as I pulled on warm sweatpants and a hoodie, that I would let him go and not lead him on anymore because clearly he wasn’t following me. I had to protect myself and to do that, I would have to make sacrifices.

Rule number one: No longer am I allowed in Colby’s room.

I didn’t go into his room that day, or the next. 

I walked in the kitchen. The boys were nowhere to be seen. I grabbed a serving of the breakfast they ordered earlier. As I ate, I scrolled on my phone at the island. The quietness of the house was therapeutic but, in a way, nerve racking. What were they doing? What was Colby doing?

Rule number two: Stop thinking about Colby every two seconds.

I failed immediately, but I reminded myself that thoughts are habitual and I’ve broken habits before, I can do it again.

But my heart ached. 

It ached so deeply that there was no other reason for this ache unless something intrinsic was severed within me. What was wrong with me? Colby had been my best friend for years now, and if he didn’t want me as more than that, then how amazing was it that I was still this close? I couldn’t ruin it.

The backdoor slid open.

My heart raced as Colby walked in; I could recognize him from his footsteps.

”Oh hi,” he said sweetly. I smiled back.

Rule number three: Don’t let him think you’ve been heartbroken

”Hey,” I said. I didn’t like the way he flinched at the rough sound of my voice. He knew I was sick. He turned with concern in his eyes. I cut him off. “What are you guys doing today?” His head cocked to the side with confusion.

”Uh—I think we’re just editing and we have some meetings to go to.”

”That’s cool,” I said unassumingly. I got off my chair and threw away my trash.

”What do you want to do? I was just editing outside for a little bit.” I grabbed my phone and walked to the other side of the kitchen.

”I had stuff to do, but I’ll see you guys later.”

I let go of the breath I held when I closed my bedroom door.

I couldn’t keep myself together in front of him so in order to keep my third rule, I decided that distancing myself for the time being would be best. 

Message from Colby; What do you want for dinner?

It was dark outside when I emerged from my room. 

The downstairs was louder now; business must have been done. I walked into the kitchen in search of food. They must not have gotten something yet.

Colby said my name when he saw me. We met again for the second time that day in the same place.

”Did you guys get food?”

”No, I was wondering what you wanted.”

”I don’t really care,” I said. It was easier to say than a bunch of other words. My voice already burned from just looking at him. His eyes were filled with question and he didn’t say anything. “Uh, let me know when it’s—“

”Stop,” he said. I turned back to him. “Don’t leave.”

”I was just going to my room.”

”Are you okay?” I looked at him like he was silly.

”Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

”You-You’ve been in your room all day? You never do that. Did you get sick last night?” 

“That doesn’t matter,” I deadpanned with finality. His brows rose and his lips closed. “Let me know what you guys get.”

And I went to my room.

A message from Colby, once again, was the last message I read before I fell asleep; Hope you feel better <3

Three days later I said more words to Colby than he said to me.

I couldn’t tell if it was because it was easier for me to talk to him now that the initial sadness had passed, but it confused me. He didn’t try to talk to me during meals and he stopped texting me entirely.

I messaged Colby; Hey, are you and Sam going on the hike this morning?

He didn’t respond. Two hours later I was met with two sweaty boys downstairs. That was odd. He never didn’t respond to me, especially about their damn morning hikes. 

My days were long and lonely.

I didn’t understand his silence towards me. Maybe he was afraid that I was mad at him because I avoided him for a while. My thoughts were interrupted when Sam burst into my room.

”Sam—“

”Alright,” he sighed harshly. “I’m not leaving until we figure out what the fuck is going on.”

”Sam,” I gasped when he sat on my bed across from me. “What-What’s going on?”

”Cut the shit. You’ve been cooped up in your room for almost a week now and Colby’s turned into a moody bitch, so tell me why you guys are arguing.”

”We-We aren’t—“ He glared at me. He knew. “I hate Colby.” His gaze softened and something attuned to shock plastered his face. “He’s so-He’s so fucking—ugh! I hate him so much. This is his fault.”

”What’s his fault?” He asked quietly. Tears already welled in my eyes.

”He-He—oh my god—you can’t tell me he’s that fucking stupid to not know that he’s led me on for so long, right? Like genuinely. He flirts with me like that and then-and then makes out with other girls in front of me then pretends like everything is fine? And now he’s ignoring me like he has some right to? Fuck no. He’s the idiot who started this.” Sam gawked at me and it took a second for him to collect his thoughts.

”You like him?”

”Sam,” I gritted my teeth. “I love him so much that I’m not telling him shit about any of this mess. He clearly doesn’t want me so I’m not ruining our friendship too. I’m trying to make my feelings for him go away but now, it’s turned into this—“

”Oh my god,” he whispered slowly as disbelief now replaced his emotion. “Oh my god! I’m going to fucking kill him.”

”What? Why?’ I fired back.

”This was on purpose.” 

The room shattered around me.

”What?”

”I’m—You—Someone, hold on.”

“What?” I gasped. I launched myself out of my bed as he rushed through my door. “Sam no! What are you doing?”

”Talking to him about this. I’m not losing my best friends due to ridiculous miscommunication.”

”Sam please!” Tears flowed freely down my face now. “Please don’t tell him—“

”Don’t tell him what?” We froze as we looked down the corridor into the living room.

Colby stood in the middle as if we was in the process of walking inside from the back yard.

”Oh no, I’m not. You’re going to. And I’m leaving.”

”What? Sam no, please. This isn’t fair.” Sam yanked his arm from my grasp. He went up to his room and closed the door. 

The silent stillness of the house in between Colby and I gutted me. 

“Hey,” he said sweetly and I spun away from him as he took paces towards me. “Hey.” His paces quickened when I wiped my tears. “What happened? What’s wrong?”

”You fucking tell me!” I yelled at him. I pushed him away from me. “You fucking tell me, asshole.”

”What? What is wrong with you—“

”What’s wrong with you, Colby?” I yelled. This time I didn’t try to wipe away the new rivers of tears. “Why would you do this?”

”I’m not doing anything—”

”First you lead me on, then you kiss her, then you pretend like everything’s fine, then you ignore me—Why the fuck are you ignoring me?”

”What?” He gasped as his eyes widened. “What are you talking about? I—Who are you talking about? I didn’t kiss anyone. And I responded to you!”

”Look at your fucking phone!” I finally screamed; my voice throbbed with pain. “And don’t fucking gaslight me, don’t fucking lie to me, and don’t fucking play dumb; what do you mean ‘I didn’t kiss anyone;’ you kissed right in-fucking-front of me!”

”Oh my god,” he whispered. He was frozen, idle in fear.

”You’re so fucking stupid, Colby! Why would you do this to me? I’m so upset and it’s-it’s like destroying me. Why can’t you just talk to me—“ I stopped moving and looked up at him silently when tears welled in his eyes too.

”I’m sorry,” he whispered.

”What?” I gasped. He blinked quickly and tears streamed down his face.

”I didn’t realize—oh my god—you’re telling me all this time…”

”All this time what? Please! Make sense—“

”You’re telling me all this time you’ve been ignoring you because I did actually hurt you?”

I stood in shock.

In fiery visceral shock.

Neither of our tears stopped.

”Obviously!” I gasped. “I have wanted you for so goddamn long and you like purposely led me on to kiss someone in front of me? You’re so fucking—Ugh! I hate you!” His lips parted in shock. He said my name. I didn’t care. I didn’t mind the butterflies that overwhelmed my stomach.

”I-I thought you wanted-I thought you wanted me but you wouldn’t tell me you do and it-it would make you jealous and-and you would—”

“You kissed her to make me jealous? And then ignored me?” My voice scratched through my screams. 

“I-I didn’t know what to do. You weren’t telling me and I-I thought you would come to me—“

”If you kissed someone else first?” I yelled. I swore my heart pumped so fast it would run away. “Am I a game to you? Just something to play with?’

”No!” He finally shouted. “I’ve wanted you so bad but you never told me you wanted me so I thought I made it all up—“

”You’re such a fucking idiot! I swear to god I’m going to kill you.”

”I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize—“

”You’re the worst, Colby. Why didn’t you just talk to me?”

”Why didn’t you talk to me?” His voice finally rose above a whisper. I scoffed.

”Maybe because you clearly had your eyes set on someone else! Maybe I came to terms with the fact that I couldn’t have you romantically but at least I still got our friendship.”

”No,” he choked. “No you should have fucking told me!”

”You should have told me!” I screamed back. “Colby, I-I can’t do this if-if you’re—oh my god.” I covered my face with my hands as sobbed wracked through me. 

“No,” he demanded and his hands latched onto my wrists. “Don’t do that. Don’t close me out again.”

”Why? It’s not like you’ll want me now!”

”I want you now. I wanted you a year ago and I’ll want you a year from now.”

”Colby,” I gasped as he yanked my hands from my face. 

“You’re not a game to me, and—holy shit—I’m so fucking stupid. I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have done this, I-I didn’t know what to do because I thought—no, I knew—you wanted me but then you pretended like you didn’t so I thought that if I kissed someone else it would either make you jealous and come steal me from her or if you didn’t want me anymore it would help me get over you.”

I shook my head.

”You’re so stupid.”

”I’ve been told,” he rolled his eyes.

”I wanted you so bad; you hurt me. I literally couldn’t breathe. Watching you kiss her made me sick; I almost couldn’t leave the club because I was so sick.” More tears fell down his face.

”Fuck, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have—this is such a mess.”

”And then I told myself, ‘God, of course he doesn’t want me. I’m just his best friend and he always goes for prettier girls who aren’t friends with him first.’” His hands still held my wrists. I looked at them. He gently let go of them when he noticed I looked at them.

But then his hands slowly moved to my face and held me.

”Colby—“

He kissed me hesitantly as if he assumed I would push him off. All he wanted was a taste even if that was all he would ever get. I could tell from his uncertainty; the light weight of his touch.

But I grabbed his clothes and pulled him closer. 

He gasped into my mouth when I took him deeper. His fingers left imprints on my face now, and my nails dug into his skin. Fire ate up my entire being, and I held onto him so I wouldn’t fall over.

He tasted better than I imagined, and I imagined many times.

He was all I thought about in the dead of night. He was all I wanted when I was lonely. This time it was me who gasped and moaned into his mouth, he grabbed me and shoved me backwards until my back hit the front door.

”No,” he gasped for breath. He still kissed me. I found myself speechless as his hands held me close and raced over my body. “It was always only you; only thought about you—“

”Okay, can I go before…” 

“Jesus Fuck,” Colby gasped and turned around. We stepped from the door and saw Sam coming down the stairs.

”I’m so glad we aren’t fighting anymore but for the love of god, I’m leaving—“

”Leave,” Colby demanded and opened the door. I couldn’t look Sam in the eyes; Colby laughed once about something. Sam had a backpack, I wondered how long he thought he would be gone for.

Before the front door closed all the way, Colby grabbed my hand and hurried me up the stairs. 

A head rush almost knocked me off my feet. My heart pounded, and when he closed us in his room, I cursed myself for breaking another rule. If they applied anymore.

”You drive me so crazy—Shit, I literally thought I was crazy,” he said as he kissed down my neck. My uneven breath couldn’t form a word as he pushed me down on his bed. I was familiar with his sheets, but never like this.

Never with him on top of me.

He kissed me again, but this time I parted my legs and allowed his hips to slot in. I gasped at the pressure, and he too let go of moans as he thrusted himself against me.

”You really didn’t know? You really didn’t?” His voice was scarily quiet. I shook my head with closed eyes.

Tears fell down my temples.

”I don't know,” was the only thing I could choke out.

”Oh my god, look at you,” he whispered as he grinded his hips down with mine. I knew he watched my face unravel with pleasure even as my eyes were closed, and he brushed my hair back away from my face. “Wanted you here for so long—fuck—I didn’t mean to mess it up, I’m so sorry—“

”I know,” I fired back. “Touch me already.” He let go an uneven breath as well and he rushed off of me.

”Up, hurry. Lie down normally.” I hurried to his pillows and lay down on them. He crawled over and watched me from his hands and knees. I looked up at him and just looked. His hand on my face nearly lulled me to sleep.

Safe; that’s how he made me feel. That’s how he always made me feel. I needed him so desperately for so long that when he put me in that precarious situation, I realized that that was what he had taken from me.

Now with closure, he brought it back.

He shook his head.

”You’re all I’ve imagined, I promise you that.”

”What do you mean?” I timidly asked. He kissed down my neck and my body melted into the sheets when his hands memorized my body. 

“No one compares to you. I needed you as close as possible.” He took a break from speaking and kissed bites into my skin. I gasped and arched my back at the sudden sharpness so he linked his arm under me. My hands found his hair and finally, finally, his hand invaded my shirt. 

“Colby,” I moaned and caved into his touch. He moaned against my skin and continued his work painting purple and red into it. 

Finally he pulled my shirt off. 

“But I was too scared to fuck it up; can't fucking lose you.”

“You won't,” I gasped. His kisses passed my chest and dipped onto my stomach. They don't miss an inch of skin, and I couldn't help from sporadically moving from how sensitive his lips made me. 

“So perfect, so beautiful; just wanted you under me.” I held onto him; his hair, his arms, any part of him I could find. Finally when his mouth cascaded down my stomach and over my side towards my hip, his fingers interlock with mine. Still, he has a hand delicately held under me. 

“Please.” I didn’t even realize the plea left my mouth; that was how gentle the sigh was. He looked up at me from where he kissed.

”Please what?” His voice was so soft I could have fainted.

”Touch me, Colby. Just take off the rest of my clothes.” He smiled into another kiss and still took his time with me.

”I will, don’t worry.” My stomach recoiled in anticipation. I wouldn’t let him let go of my fingers. I held onto him tightly. 

I reeled against myself when he kissed lower and dipped his fingers into the hem of my pants. I moaned his name and and I shivered from the feeling of his breath and laughs.

”So impatient,” he whispered, and it sent chills across my skin.

”I’m not,” I whined. He kissed across my navel and to the other hip. 

And then I felt it.

His free hand ever so slowly made its way down my body until he teased me through my pants. A hard breath pulled between his teeth.

”Fuck, I can feel how warm you are. How wet you are.”

”Colby,” I gasped. “I said I needed you.”

”I didn’t think you were lying, but oh my god.” Without another request, Colby pulled my sweatpants and underwear down in one. I couldn’t stop staring up at him as he rose to his knees. He tossed my clothes away and pushed my knees apart.

”Oh my god, I love you. You’re so perfect; every part of you. Wanted you so bad.” I couldn’t breathe as he spoke those words over me. His fingers trailed down my inner thigh and jumped to the other leg without even teasing me. I writhed against him, and the problem was, he didn’t even touch me yet.

”Colby,” I gasped when he kissed the side of my knee. His lips fell lower. “Colby, please,” I whined but he ignored me. His other hand pushed my other thigh back as he kissed down my leg. I knew he felt the way I jolted at every touch; the pleasure zapped through my body. I clenched around nothing every time his lips neared a centimeter close. 

“Love you, let me taste all of you.” I wanted to cry.

I was so mad at him.

I hated him.

I loved him so much that if I died when he tasted me it would have been enough.

My nails scratched against him as I tangled them in his hair and he moaned against me, from pain or pleasure I didn’t know. As his mouth dipped closer and closer to where I needed him most, his other hand traveled down my other leg. I couldn’t stop moving, moaning, and his hands held me down so I couldn’t push myself into him.

”Please, please I need you—“

“I know,” he sighed. Then his eyes met mine. “Won’t you let me kiss and touch every part of you first? You’re so so impatient.”

“You-You have! Please, just touch me.” 

“I am touching you.” 

The tears fell again. My head tossed back to the pillow.

”I’ve wanted you for so damn long and-and then all this happens and this is how you repay—oh fuck!” I looked back down at him as he licked me once, twice, and then slotted his lips around me. “Colby, oh my god, yes, oh fuck thank you!” 

Maybe the kissing was also to calm him down and hold himself back.

Because next thing I knew, his hands pushed my legs back roughly and he moaned into me deeply. I couldn’t open my eyes; moans yanked from me as he worked me relentlessly with his tongue. He moved with me when my hips rolled uncontrollably, and he never allowed me to pull him harder on me nor further away. He was right where he wanted to be.

”Fuck,” he moaned when he pulled away. Licked me once. “Taste so fucking good.” I couldn’t breathe when he dragged his fingers down and saturated them with my fluids. 

“Oh my god yes, please—“

He slowly pushed two inside as he leaned his head against my thigh and watched me with stars in his eyes.

“Oh fuck,” I moaned and couldn’t keep the strings of moans behind my lips. He still watched me in awe as his fingers worked me ever so slightly. I rolled my hips with his hand. His other hand held the side of my thigh and I covered it with my own. “You feel so good, want you to do this so bad.”

”Yeah? How did you pretend I touched you?” Pink heat fell down my body, but he pushed against the spot inside me harder. He didn’t move faster though.

”I—oh fuck—I imagined you-you fingering me like this and-and…“

”And what?” His voice was disgustingly sweet with a teasing tone on the edge. I didn’t know if I wanted to smack the dazed look off of him or melt in his heart eyes.

”And-And you would use your tongue.”

”How do you want me to do that?” He teased in such an irritating way. I closed my eyes tightly partially in embarrassment but also arousal. Anything he said with this tone could get me on my knees.

”You already know,” I grumbled. 

“Do I?”

”Colby, please,” I exasperated. “Taste me again. Make me feel good.” That must have set him off because he sucked in a breath before doing just that. 

My hands now curled around the bedding under us. His arms held me down even as his tongue and fingers worked me. My eyes closed as I drowned in his touch. He quickened his pace and listened to my body when I writhed from stimulation.

”Fuck, you—oh my god so fucking perfect,” he said with a smile as his fingers moved in and out quickly.

”Colby please, need you.”

”You have me.”

”Want you inside of me.” He gave in.

He lifted himself up and pulled his clothes off. I would have tried to take them off myself; I always dreamed about undressing his perfect body, but I couldn’t move. I stared at him frozen with a warmth I didn’t know.

Then he leaned over me and his hand brushed my hair away. He held my face. His eyes watched over my face and I couldn’t blink as I soaked in his appearance too.

”So perfect,” he whispered. I gasped when he thrusted against me. I pushed my body up into his when he teased me and drenched himself in my arousal. “Love how responsive you are.” 

I kissed him and he melted into me. 

I drank down his moans as he thrusted into me in time, and his hands raced up my arms and held my hands on either side of my head against the pillow. I gasped for air when he pulled away. My eyes closed as his body overwhelmed mine.

He didn't say anything, only planted kisses against my face and neck when he easily slid into me.

“Colby—“ I gasped, and he moaned when his arm slid under me. He watched me as he moved faster.

”Yeah?” He teased lightly. With a smile, his eyes closed and my heart skipped at the sound of his moans. “Feel so good around me, holy shit.”

”God, I love you,” I whined. He groaned loudly and kissed my skin with a bite. More moans forced from me as his hips met mine with a higher intensity. Tears fell down my face again, and this time I didn’t try to wipe them away.

All the pain and frustration and confusion welled inside of me like an overflowing spring, and of course it took his kiss, his touch, his body to break the seal. He finally let go of my hands and I touched his skin like he memorized mine. He lost himself inside me when I touched him and scratched him. I kissed him and also left love bites because I felt the same. 

He was mine just as much as I was his. 

“You-You, fuck, you’re so much,” he moaned.

”How?” I kept my voice tense in my throat or else I would let it go into loud humiliating moans that would probably be unintelligible.

”Too much; I-I didn’t think I could ever deserve someone like you.”

”I don’t-I don’t deserve you. How does anyone deserve someone at all—oh fuck, Colby!” My words were slurred into moans as he fucked his hips into mine with intention. 

Then he grabbed one of my hands and shoved it down in between us.

”Touch yourself, baby. Want you to cum with me.”

”Oh fuck,” I whined; I couldn’t contain the ways those simple words made me feel. His tone, the feeling, the touches; it was too much for me and I was crumbling and crumbling fast. “God I hate you,” I moaned through gritted teeth. He shook his head quickly with furrowed eyebrows.

”I know, I know; I’m so sorry.” And his actions felt like it. I could feel how sorry he was when I lay under his gaze and when my body reeled under his touch.

”Close—“ was the only word I could pronounce and he nodded with a small smile. 

“Good because I-I am too.”

”Inside,” I gasped.

”Want me to cum inside you?” I nodded quickly. He held me so tight I knew I would see bruises later. I looked forward to it. “Yeah that’s it, baby. Make yourself feel good. Oh my god, I’m so-so fucking close.”

”Please,” I gasped. “Harder, I’m going to.” He didn’t say another word as he lifted himself up and grabbed my waist and fucked me like he wanted. I held onto him and I saw how quickly it washed over him; his face twisted with pleasure and I couldn’t blink as I watched his orgasm overwhelm him.

The feeling alone, of him finishing inside of me, was enough, and I knew I would never get his moans and his pleasured face out of my thoughts for a long, long time. I had to take my own hand away from me because it was all too much. He fucked me through my orgasm even as overstimulation settled in his body. 

The moment I went to push him away, he stopped moving and groaned with relief. I pulled him down until all his weight was on me. He kissed me like he meant it. I didn’t think I could ever kiss him without meaning it.

”Please let me in,” he sighed as he caught his breath. “Want to be with you and you only.” I nodded quickly. 

“We can only have each other.” He nodded enthusiastically as he rose to his elbows. I held his face in my hands. “God I fucking love you so much and if you’re an idiot I’ll kill you.”

”I’d deserve it.” I only smiled before I kissed him again.

A few more minutes of silence passed, and that was when I realized the sunset orange streaked through the blinds of his room. The golden rays illuminated through his dark hair as I brushed through it.

”Wait, how—Was Sam going to be gone the whole night?” Colby laughed.

”I’m not sure, but I’ll tell him to only come back once I text him.”

”What, why?” He looked up at me with an unimpressed boyish smirk.

”Do we not have a lot of time to make up for?” Heat spread across my face again and I shoved him back down to lay on me again.

”Shut up,” I laughed. “I guess so.”

”What? Do you want to get up and work or something?” 

“No, I’d rather take a shower. It’s fucking hot in this room and your cum is all over me.” He laughed and rose up to his knees. His eyes flickered over my disgusting body.

”Pretty sure it’s yours as well.”

”Whatever, it’s so gross.”

”Let’s take a shower then.”

”Oh, so you can get me dirty in the shower and then after all over again?” He rolled his eyes. Goosebumps raised in my skin in the wake of his touches.

”We’ll take as many as we need, I just want you.”

I rolled my eyes as if it was the corniest thing I ever heard, but I swooned like a girl because that was all I fantasized coming from his mouth.

✧˖*°࿐

Taglist (Comment to be added):

@a-random-google-user

@graceciesiels22

@honestlybabymiracle

[doctorstethoscope]

Lucky

Summary: Marriage means sticking together in sickness and in health. Apparently, Aaron takes the ‘in sickness’ part pretty seriously. It’s a Hotchner family sick day, and he’s determined to take care of you and Jack.

Pairing: Hotch x blank slate Fem!Reader (no use of y/n)

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Mild description of illness (mentions of fever, headaches, nausea, one reference to vomit). Otherwise it’s all tooth-rotting fluff

You wake yourself up mid-sneeze, which is arguably one of the worst ways to wake up. Aaron’s side of the bed is empty but warm, and you start to stand up to go find him when you’re hit with a woozy feeling and have to sink back into the pillows. “Aaron?” You call out, sniffling a couple of times as you take stock of how you’re feeling.

Honestly, you feel like trash. Your head has started to pound and your sinuses feel so pressurized that you have to stick your face into Aaron’s pillow in case your head explodes from being upright. You aren’t feeling nauseous, luckily, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t miserable when you realize that you’re sick.

Footsteps of socked feet pad down the hallway, and you hear the door crack open. “Hon? Jack is sick, he’s asking for you,” Aaron says.

He’s probably speaking at a normal volume, but every sound is so amplified to your aching head that you just whine, an unintelligible sound that kind of resembles, “Shut up.”

The door opens a little wider, and the creaking of it gives way to the creaking of the bed when Aaron sits down on the edge. “Are you okay?” His voice is softer and his hand finds the place between your shoulder blades, rubbing small soothing circles.

You try to shake your head, but it’s hurting too badly for that. “How’s Jack?” You croak out, just hoping that he feels better than you do.

“He’s running a fever and he threw up a little. I changed his bedsheets and cleaned him up, and I already called in to keep an eye on him today. I think you should call in too.” His hand moves to your cheek and then your forehead, presumably checking for the same fever Jack has.

“I’ll be fine. I’ll call in, though, if you insist.” Even though you’re speaking sarcastically, his answer is predictable.

“I do.” Aaron stands up and kisses the top of your head. “I’m going to go find some medicine. I’ll be right back with that and some water for you, alright?”

You hum, a noise of affirmation, but you’re fast asleep by the time he returns a minute later.

When you wake up, you’re alone. The curtains are half-open, exposing just enough light for you to be able to see, but still comfortably sleep. The nightstand is cleared off aside from a glass of water, a dish with three pills in it, and a silver handheld bell.

You wrinkle your nose, eyes adjusting to the light as you reach for the glass of water with one eye shut. The bell is knocked to the floor instead, a result of your poor coordination, and the door opens.

“You rang?” Aaron says softly, and you can hear the smile on his lips.

You groan in response, covering your ears with both hands. The ring of the bell echoes in your head for a long moment, and you take the time to wonder if divorce is still an option. “What were you thinking? A bell, seriously? My head hurts.” You’re all but whining, but Aaron doesn’t appear to take it personally.

“Sorry, my love. I thought it would be easier than shouting for me,” he apologizes, helping you sit up. You take the glass of water from him and use it to swallow the pills he hands you, and he kisses your forehead as he takes the glass back. “Is it just a headache?”

“I think I- I- achoo!” You cut yourself off with a loud sneeze that turns into a groan of pain. “No. What about Jack? Is he feeling any better?”

“He’s sleeping, but his fever is steady. I was thinking, if you’re up for it, I could set you up in the living room. We could close the curtains, turn on a movie, bundle you up on the couch. How does that sound?” Aaron suggests, one arm wrapped around you to rub soothingly at your upper arm.

It sounds nice, actually, so you manage to stand up with the duvet wrapped around you and shuffle out to the living room couch. Aaron knows you well; the couch has already been primed with your favourite throw blankets, a couple of pillows, and a bottle of Gatorade nestled against the arm.

There are Disney Movies queued up on the television, and you sit and let Aaron wrap you up in blankets as ‘Lion King’ starts to play.

For a few hours, you doze in and out of sleep while Aaron stays nearby, always with a hand on your back or an arm around you. You awaken to drink a bit more water, sneeze a few more head-splitting times, and eventually you find that you can’t fall back asleep.

The blanket is too hot now, and you push it off only to start shivering. That’s how you find yourself curled up against Aaron’s side, tucked under one large arm while you clear your throat to bring up what you’ve thought all day. “You shouldn’t have called in.”

“Don’t worry about that,” he whispers, stroking a thumb over your shoulder. “I want to be here. I promise.”

“You just had two whole weeks off for the honeymoon. Strauss won’t be mad?” You ask, and a knowing smirk splits Aaron’s face.

“You mean the third honeymoon? Because I got called to work on the days we were supposed to leave the first two times we tried?” He reminds you, holds you a little closer. “Strauss owes me a day off. And I want to spend the day making sure you’re being cuddled back to health.”

You can’t think of a rebuttal no matter how badly you want to, because your thoughts are interrupted by the sound of a door opening. “Daddy? Momma?”

Aaron squeezes your shoulder and then stands, making sure to tuck the blanket around you so that you don’t get too cold again. Confident steps carry him down the hall to where you can imagine Jack is standing in the doorway.

There’s murmured conversation, Aaron’s voice saying, “Are you sure?” and Jack’s insisting that he is. When Aaron returns, the boy is bundled up in his arms.

“Somebody wanted to join us for movie time and cuddling,” he explains to you, setting Jack in the big armchair. When his son starts to protest, Aaron defends himself. “Momma is sick, too, buddy. I don’t want you making each other worse.”

“Give him here. It’s okay, Jack, you can lie down with me,” you offer, holding out both arms. “I’ll try not to get you sick.”

“Too late for that,” Aaron grumbles under his breath, but he carries your son over all the same. When he tries to sit, you hold up a hand.

“Uh uh. You said you’d make sure I get cuddled back to health, right?” You rub Jack’s back, holding him against your chest as he curls up in your lap. The movement brings with it a wave of nausea that you ignore. “You’re in quarantine, Hotchner. We aren’t getting you sick, too.”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.” He moves into the kitchen, leaving you and Jack alone for a few minutes while he clanks pots and pans around.

You bring a hand up and lay the back of it against Jack’s cheek. “How are you feeling, little man?” You ask quietly.

“Tummy hurts,” he mumbles into your neck. “But it hurt more before.”

“Yeah? Do you want to take a nap and watch some movies with me?” You offer, and he snuggles in a little closer.

Finding Nemo is playing now, and you watch Jack as he watches the screen with increasingly droopy eyelids. He’s on the verge of falling asleep when Aaron returns, carefully balancing two soup bowls.

He places one on the coffee table for Jack, and sets the other in your free hand. “It’s turkey gnocchi. It shouldn’t be too hard on your stomach,” he explains in a whisper, turning the TV down.

“Thank you, baby.” You turn your head away when he leans down to kiss you. “Quarantine, remember? Go, be healthy somewhere else.”

Aaron’s eye roll is predictable but he stands up all the same, prepared to exit the room as per your demands. He’s almost over the threshold when he pauses and you start to ask what’s wrong, but before you can speak he lets out the loudest sneeze you’ve ever heard.

It’s so loud that Jack wakes up just in time to hear Aaron sneeze twice more in succession, and he pokes you to get your attention. “Is Daddy sick?”

You grin, holding him a little closer. “I think he might be, buddy. Aaron, are you okay?”

Aaron sniffles a couple times from the doorway, and you notice how congested he sounds when he says, “I’m fine.”

“You’re fine, really? So you’ll go spend the rest of the day in bed while Jack and I get to hang out?” Maybe baiting him with his son isn’t the nicest way to get your husband to admit to feeling ill, but it’s really the only way you can think of.

It works, if the growing frown on Aaron’s face is anything to go by. “Well, I didn’t say…”

“No, no. You’re fine, you’re healthy. So go on, don’t let our germs stop you.” Jack is giggling in your arms now, having caught on to the game. “Go, before we get you sick. ‘Cause that was just, what? Allergies?”

He’s moving back towards you now, pulling the bowl of soup out of your free hand; the other is still wrapped around Jack.

“Wait, wait. I can’t lie down with my husband, and now I can’t even eat soup?” You complain, and Aaron plops down next to you on the couch.

“It’s one or the other, sweetheart. And I don’t mind your germs all that much,” he murmurs, wrapping an arm around you. Jack crawls between the two of you, lying on top of the space where your bodies press together.

“Is that so?” You ask as he hands you back the bowl, beginning to eat it since your hands are both free now. It’s delicious, like everything Aaron cooks, and still warm enough that you can feel it in your belly. “I’m the luckiest newlywed in the world.”

Instead of responding, Aaron pulls a blanket up over the three of you and grabs the remote. ‘Ice Age’ starts to play as you swallow another spoonful, and Jack rolls over into his dad’s waiting arms.

The living room is quiet for a few minutes, save for the sounds coming from the TV. Jack is half asleep with his head on Aaron’s stomach and a hand resting on your knee when Aaron finally says, “You aren’t, you know.”

“Aren’t what?” You set the soup bowl aside and curl up, your temple pressed against his shoulder.

“The luckiest newlywed in the world.” His lips graze the top of your head, but he pulls away just in time for you to sneeze into your elbow. “I am.”

You wipe your nose with your sleeve- unnecessary, but it feels wrong not to- and laugh aloud at that. “You are, really? With a wife who’s eating up your personal days and getting the whole family sick, you’re the luckiest?”

“Yeah.” He speaks quietly, confidently, voice not wavering. “Yeah, I really think I am. Come here.”

You can’t get much closer but you try, cuddling up as close as possible to your husband and son while Aaron eats some of the soup Jack didn’t end up tasting before passing out. The movie plays on, and you hardly pay attention; you’re too busy thinking about exactly how happy- and lucky- you really are.

[thatfandomslut]

Not Into Guys

Regina George x Lesbian!Reader

Word Count: 1k

Trigger Warnings: Aaron Samuels (i'm joking, they're besties), underage drinking

Request:

Can I please request a fic where Regina is like “I know your secret you like Aaron” and super flirty reader is confused and like “Why would I like him when you’re here” and Regina is shocked and it’s super cute and they’re gay for each other!

Mean Girls requests are open.

This all started because of a rumor accidentally started by none other than Gretchen Wieners. "I heard her flirting with Aaron Samuels. She called him her boy toy." Gretchen informed Regina who crossed her arms, leaning back in her chair in thought. It wasn't hidden information that Regina George liked (Y/n). Regina thought they had a thing. Obviously, she was wrong if (Y/n) claimed Aaron to be her 'boy toy.' As she listened to Gretchen go on about everything she had heard, Regina's icy blue eyes landed on (Y/n) as she made her entrance into the classroom.

Typically, Regina had only kind things to say about (Y/n). Unfortunately, her entering with Aaron seemed to cause anything nice to leave her mind as she narrowed her eyes at them. She just couldn't understand why anyone in their right mind would choose Aaron over her. She was gorgeous, popular, and rich. However, Regina supposed that Aaron was kind and funny. People didn't usually associate Regina with those two attributes. Instead, they associated her with beautiful but mean. Which, was right, of course. Regina just hoped that wasn't something (Y/n) thought of her. She wanted (Y/n) to like her the way she did (Y/n).

"This class is kind of lame. I might leave before it starts," Regina interrupted Gretchen, hoping she would stop talking about (Y/n) and Aaron. If she had to hear any more information about them being together, she would either vomit or kill Gretchen. There was a possibility that both of those scenarios were likely, and she would commit both rather than either. Fortunately, the honey blonde beside her seemed to catch on, and she stopped talking about them. "It's not like I'm ever going to actually need geometry. I have people to do my math for me."

Karen nodded enthusiastically at the point that she made. Regina could easily ask Cady if she needed someone to look over floor plans. She was above math, she decided. Aaron had left once the bell rang, leaving (Y/n) by herself at her desk. A small, devilish smirk crossed Regina's lips as she stood up. "(Y/n), I was thinking about skipping class. Would you like to join us?" Regina questioned, and it didn't take a second thought for (Y/n) to accept the invite. Just like Regina, she didn't necessarily care for math. Instead, she would rather escape the confines of those four walls that held math puns and math memes due to the teacher trying to fit in. Karen and Gretchen were about to follow Regina out before she told them to stay. She had some things to talk to (Y/n) about. Specifically, things involving Aaron Samuels and why (Y/n) thought that Aaron was better than her.

Regina would never deny the fact that she was the jealous type. She had decided a long time ago that (Y/n) was going to be her girlfriend, Aaron wasn't going to ruin this plan with his boyish good looks or boy-next-door kindness. That was why Regina brought (Y/n) to the mall, to show off her money in an attempt to woo (Y/n). An attempt that failed as (Y/n) had to assure her over and over again that she didn't want anything Prada or Gucci. Regina was beginning to wonder how attached (Y/n) was to Aaron. If she couldn't convince her to date her over name-brand items, how was she going to convince her to date her at all?

"Okay, what's wrong, Regina?" (Y/n) questioned once they got to the food court. She was starting to grow concerned when Regina didn't comment on how badly styled the mannequins were like she usually did. She was starting to think that maybe it was something that she was doing wrong. If Regina would communicate with her, she would be able to accommodate and change whatever she was doing that was bothering Regina. "I feel like I've done something to upset you."

Regina realized she was beginning to let what Gretchen said about (Y/n) and Aaron get to her. However, instead of being able to keep it in, she was expressing it. A smile crossed her lips as she played it off. "Everything is fine, you did nothing wrong. Now that we're here, though, we can have girl talk." The two girls sat down, confusion bubbling (Y/n) at how quickly Regina changed her mood. "I know you're secret… You like Aaron Samuels." Regina stated confidently, looking down at (Y/n).

(Y/n), on the other hand, was only growing more confused. She wanted to laugh because of how confident Regina had said that. It was completely false. "Why would I have a crush on Aaron when you're here?" She questioned, crossing her arms as she looked up at Regina. It was unintentionally smooth. It caught Regina off guard as her cheeks began to heat up slightly at what she had said. "Aaron is my best friend, and I'm a lesbian." (Y/n) told Regina, wondering why she even thought she was remotely into him.

"Didn't you say he was your boy toy though? I've had great sources tell me this." Regina claimed. She sometimes needed to remind herself that Gretchen took information and ran with it. (Y/n) smiled a bit as shook her head. Leaning in, she kissed Regina, who reciprocated happily. She could hear her heart beating in her ear as she tried to keep herself from messing the kiss up by smiling at it. "Okay, okay, fine… You're not into Aaron."

(Y/n) laughed a bit at the comment before Regina pulled her back into a kiss. This time, she kissed deeper, not as nervous as the first time. Though, her heartbeat remained loud in her ears as they kissed. Regina couldn't care less if anyone was scowling, because all that mattered to her in that moment was how (Y/n)'s hands felt as they cupped her cheeks.

[i-cant-sing]

Just thinking about Yandere Todoroki clan and reader's random moments.

Reader coming home after a particularly bad day, but poor girl cant even cry or complain without everyone immediately overreacting and pulling you out of school/college or even keeping you from going out at all. So now, reader has to either cry in self pity before she enters her home, wipe her tears and fix herself just enough to show that she hadnt just bawled her eyes out moments ago. That, or do the more risky thing and go home, go to your room and cry under the covers, but then theres always the chance of Rei or the others walking in on you any moment.

Also thinking about baby/toddler reader being sick, just a common cold or flu, nothing major. But with reader whining and being so young, the family's infantalisation goes through the roof and theyd treat you as if you were immunocompromised. I wont lie, but I think Rei is almost kinda... glad when you get sick? She enjoys you being dependant on her for the most things, even when you grow up and are able to handle a cold, she still deludes herself into thinking that you need mommy to come and help you.

I think the one person who is most affected by reader getting sick, no matter what age, is Enji. The man just cant help but view you as a fragile, starving Victorian child the moment you fall ill. In his eyes, even a harsh blow of air is too much for a fragile thing like you, let alone something as bad as the flu. He just- he's holding toddler reader in his arms, who snuggles into his warm body, your tiny nose pink and he cant get the image of you crying and vomiting and being oh so feverish- thats just way too much for your small body. Oh how he almost cried when he took you to the doctor for a shot and you clung to him, trying to bury yourself into him as you begged him to make you feel better, cried to him that you didnt want to get the "big scary needle!" He just had to hold you there in his firm grip as you writhed, had to look away when you looked at him and he saw the feeling of betrayal in your eyes, had to keep himself from not strangling the fucking doctor for not being careful, had to walk out of the clinic and hand you to Rei because he couldnt hear you cry anymore, had to have Rei console both you and Enji (assuring him that "no, Enji. Y/n doesnt resent you for making her get a shot.") and he couldnt even sleep a wink that night because he was standing by your bed, holding your tiny hand with his pinky as a tear finally slipped out of his eye.

ALSO thinking about adult reader going out of the house to meet up with friends, except shes meeting up with them at a club instead of at their house like she told Enji and Rei, and now shes standing outside, abandoned by said friends, and shes now running because a group of pervy men are chasing her and she doesnt know who to call, so she just speed dials Shotou, except someone just changed all your speed dials to one number, and you think youre doomed when Shotou doesnt say a word to you and just hangs up when within minutes, someone comes in front of you-

"Dabi?" He tells you to cover your ears and look away, and you know well by know what that means, so you obey, feeling a bit regretful as those men begin to scream in agony. You dont know how long its been until Dabi pulls your hands away and examines your wounds. He lets you crash into his chest as you sob, and this time, Dabi simply decides to take you home quietly without a lecture.

Hmmm, also thinking about Natsuo who is usually cool as a cucumber, the most normal being in the family, except for his very rare episodes of unbridled rage where he suddenly becomes the Hulk. Good thing for you is that this anger is never directed towards you, rather towards people who actively threaten your life (except Rei cause she gets to play "Im your mom who became mentally unstable because of your abusive dad") The only time NAtsuo is stern with you is when it comes to your health. He's just looking at you with those strict eyes when you refuse to take your multivitamins, or dont want to get a flu shot, or try to make up an excuse so that he cant check your vitals. And when he just grabs your wrist and pulls you to sit down so that he can do his checkup, its in those moments that you realise just how strong your brother is... and how easy it may be for him to overpower you and sedate you if he ever followed through Rei's threats.

[countcvnt]

Experiment

Chapter Two: Bad Dreams

[Poly!TF141/Fem!Reader]

[Ch. One]

Summary: You realize, while asleep, that just because you're out of the facility doesn't mean you're completely free. Warnings: Canon Typical Violence, mentions of blood and vomiting (nothing too graphic), Angsty Simon Word Count: ~3.5k (don't quote me on that) A/N: Was gonna wait to post this, but it's on my AO3 already (i posted this first ch. a couple days ago on there, but am just posting it here now) so i wanna post it here too. I have Covid, and time to write, so why not post it now? Hope you enjoy~ The angst is only going to pick up from here tbh

You toss and turn in bed. Your covers are strewn across the room and you’re sweating. Your eyes are screwed shut as you lie there whimpering. You can’t even force yourself awake.

“You are not acting very nice.”

Your gaze does not even meet the scientist’s. His eyes bore into yours, but you can not force yourself to look at him. Instead, you stare at the floor. Your mind is racing, you are everywhere and nowhere all at once.

“Did you hear me?” He asks. You nod. “Then act better.” He marks something down on his clipboard and you watch him closely now. “Next time, there will be no warning. You will be punished.”

You nod again. Your hands rest on your thighs, gripping your bare thighs and shaking violently. Your whole body is shaking. At this point, you can’t think of a time you weren’t shaking. Your eyes cut from the man’s hands and up to him. You see the reflection of the bright lights of the lab in his glasses. You sniffle slightly.

“You look sick.” He looks up at you, his eyes meeting yours. You don’t look away this time. “After all this-” He motions around him. “That won’t happen anymore. You won’t have to worry about silly little sickness or your immune system at all. You know, after all of this, you will be the best.”

If it works, You think. You are almost certain you should have died by now. You have absolutely no clue what they have been injecting you with. You know it makes you sick. That’s about the extent of your knowledge. Well, you also know, you can die at any given moment. Whether the medicine or the guards around you takes you. Something can happen any time, and you just have to let it happen.

You remember lying in your ‘room’, throwing up blood and bile. No one checked on you. Not until the next round of testing. They gave you nausea medicine and you only hoped it’d work. Now, you're staring down the scientist who has ‘stuck by your side’ through all of the experiments. He is the only one who survived, you think. There have been several others. But you only saw them once or twice.

You aren’t sure if or how they died. You don’t like to think about it.

“We are going to test pain tolerance today.”

You perk up, in the least enthusiastic way possible. It caught your attention and set your skin ablaze. What does this entail? You can’t help but run through scenarios in your mind. The scientist pulls out a smaller syringe and places a needle in it. It’s full of a clear liquid. You don’t move. You’ve learned it’s best to not move.

He motions for you to hold out your arm. You do so, willingly. You’ve also learned it’s best to do as you’re told. He injects the needle into a vein and you try to stay relaxed. You whimper and shut your eyes. Suddenly, everything is on fire. Your body burns. A scream releases from your throat and you fall from the metal stool you had been sitting on. You curl up, clawing, scratching at your skin.

You begin to beg, “Please!” You scream for someone to stop it. “Please, help me!”

“Don’t worry,” His voice is so monotone. “It’ll pass. This is completely normal.”

You sit there, screaming and crying as the pain grows worse. You wonder if you yell loud enough if the guards would step in. But, so far, no one has stepped in. No. One. You can’t count on anyone. Not anymore. Your clawing slows down, the burning subsides. You relax and let out a small whimper. You sit up and inhale slowly. You slump over and look up at the man in front of you.

“Better?” He asks. You nod. “Good, now get back up.” You follow his instructions. “Now, I have a scalpel here. I’m going to poke you-” Your eyes widen. “-I’m not going to stab, or cut deep. I’m just checking pain levels.”

You sit back on the stool and hold your arm out again. The man grabs the scalpel from the side table and pokes into your arm. Blood rises and drips down. You feel pressure from the poke, but nothing else. You don’t react. You soon find out, maybe you should have.

“Hm, nothing?” Everything seems to be going according to plan for him and whoever was coordinating this. “Okay, next test.”

The scalpel is dug into your skin. Dull pain comes to the area, but you aren't feeling anything you should be feeling. You are too startled to scream. Blood rushes down your forearm and your eyes widen. You have learned to not pull away, so you stay there.

“Astounding…” He grabs the gauze from the small table and wraps your arm. “We will continue testing this in the morning.” He motions for some guards to come in. “I have to make sure that this… This is permanent.”

“If it’s not?” The words slip out.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”

The words, his tone, they send chills up your spine. You are grabbed, harshly, by the guards and pulled into the hallway, out of the little, ‘cozy’ lab. Your eyes adjust to the dim lights of the hall and you squint. You are dragged to your ‘room’. The guard flashes his card in front of the door and it slides open. They toss you in, you hit the floor. There is no pain this time.

You want so badly for that to be a good thing. You can’t help but feel sick to your stomach though. You crawl to your mattress and lay down. You don’t even have a cover. You sigh. You curl up and go to sleep.

You wake in a cold sweat. A scream rips from your throat and your body tenses. Your breathing is ragged and a knock is coming from your door. You look towards it. You examine your surroundings. You exhale trying to calm yourself.

“Ace!” The knocking becomes violent.

Your brows furrow. You stand from your bed and walk towards the door. You swing it open and find Gaz standing there. His eyes lock with yours, before falling to your sweaty, sticky form.

“Who’s Ace?” You ask, not caring that he is probably staring at your chest.

“Sorry,” He mumbles and tries to close your door. “I shouldn’t-”

“No,” You swat at his hand, opening the door further. “Who is Ace?” A cool breeze hits your bare legs and you realize why he’s being so funny. Your mouth forms an ‘o’ and you step back. You remember that you’re wearing your tank top and panties. You grab your shorts and throw them on. “I’m Ace, aren’t I?” You finally ask.

“That is… Was your call sign.”

You notice Gaz swallow hard. You can’t help but wonder what has him so shook up. He had to have seen some thighs and cleavage before. It registers, he must not have seen yours. You make note of that.

“It’s okay, Gaz,” You reassure him, “I promise it’s fine if you look at me.” You’re trying to not laugh. You can’t help but smile though. His eyes cut from the floor and up to you.

“Are you laughing at me?” He asks, you can see him grow embarrassed and irritated.

“You’re being silly,” Your smile widens. You watch Gaz relax. You cock your head. “Acting like I’m the first pair of thighs you’ve seen in your life.”

Gaz groans. “You don’t like-” He stops himself. “You used to not be comfortable with us seeing you like this. I don’t wanna overstep any boundaries.”

“You’re very sweet, Kyle.” He lights up as you call him by his name. “I do remember being that way though… I had always been that way ever since I can remember.” Which isn’t very much, you decide it would be best to not joke about that though. “But, I guess becoming a little lab rat kinda nipped that in the bud.”

Gaz doesn’t ask further questions. “I came to check on you, because you’re thirty minutes late.”

“Let me guess,” you purse your lips, “I used to never be late.”

Gaz is at a loss for words. “Well, no! You and Price were always first at debriefings.”

You note that as well. “I guess I need to change?” You question him. Gaz keeps from dropping eye contact. You are sure you need to change. Going to whatever you needed to go to, with nothing but a tank top and shorts on would probably not be the best look on your first real day back. “I’m fucking with you, Gaz.” You turn from him and he huffs. You grab some clothes from the dresser. Gaz excuses himself and you decide it’s best to not fuck with him further.

As he closes your door, you begin to mentally prepare yourself for what the day holds. You know you’ll be digging up old memories. You know recent wounds will resurface. You have to prepare now. You run through different questions and answers.

You're on autopilot as you get dressed. You finish up and walk back towards your door. You swing it open and find Gaz waiting. “Oh, you’re still here.”

“Figured you’d need help finding the room. Unless you don’t-”

“No, no,” You interrupt, “I don’t- I don’t know where the room is.” Having to admit that hurts. Gaz catches that. He doesn’t say anything further. You follow him down the hall and through a corridor. You reach a double door and Gaz lets you in first. You spot Price, then Soap, then Ghost. Every last one of them seems uncomfortable.

You walk into the middle of the room and stand there. The door closes behind Gaz and he walks up beside you. You stand there waiting for anyone to say something. No one breaks the silence, so you decide to.

“I don’t think I like sleeping alone.” You look at Price. “I haven’t- I didn’t have a roommate in the-” You keep stopping yourself. “It’s been a while since I’ve had a roommate. I don’t know how I'd react to one. But I can not sleep alone.”

Price nods. “That can be fixed.” He is reassuring. “We'll get you set up with-”

“I want it to be one of you.” You interrupt him. All of them tense. “I know I don't remember much of anything… but you four seem to know me the best. I want it to be one of you four.” You nod to yourself as you say the last sentence.

“Do you have a preference?” Price seems like he isn't judging who you pick, but you can't help but feel like they're all judging which one you pick.

“How about-” You place a finger on your chin. “We could alternate?”

“Alternate sleeping arrangements?” Ghost speaks up.

“That can be arranged.” Price nods. “We can talk more about that later. We really need to figure out what you do know.”

“Easy,” you shrug, “I know I have a mom and dad- We moved a lot growing up. I know that I used to be self conscious.” You remember this morning.

“Used to be?” Soap asks.

“Well, yeah, being stuck in a lab changes a person.” The whole room becomes uncomfortable. “Sorry…”

“It's alright, love,” Gaz pats you on the back, and you look at him. You don't tense. You don't attack. You just stare. Your stomach flips out how he says ‘love’. “But that's not what he meant. Do you have any information on what was happening?”

You inhale slowly and close your eyes. “Okay. I don't know where I was. But I do know people came and… uh went. A lot. Do I know where they went? No. I'm assuming the guards took care of them. It was too important for people to just come and go as they pleased. The experiments were too-” You pause. “Classified. But the scientist that was with me when Soap saved me, that was my main scientist. I never got anyone's name. They said I would get, uh, stuff like that if the experiments fully worked. I'm not sure they ever had it work though-”

“On others?” Ghost interrupts. You nod. “There were others?”

“Yeah. I mean, I think so. I overheard a couple times, of different,” you pause again, thinking of what they called you, “subjects just… dying. In reality, I don't know why I'm not dead. I also believe there were more because I was dubbed Subject Five. There were, I assume, four before me. Unless they just wanted to call me Five.” You shrug, growing uncomfortable. “I do know, for a fact, they were only getting military personnel.”

“Dae ye ken how come thay picked ye?” Soap is about as uncomfortable as you are now.

“Not entirely. But the scientist had said that I was compliant. I was… pliable, that is the word he used when I walked in for the very first round of testing. He didn't want me. He made that very known. But he had me, so he did everything he could to make everything work. It wasn't always smooth. But,” you shrug, “it is what it is.”

You see Ghost shift. He looks angry. It's making you more uncomfortable. “What do you mean, it wasn't always smooth?”

“The testing was extensive. The amount of times I've been poked and jabbed is unknown at this point. I mean,” you roll your head to the side, exposing your neck, “I have little scars littering my body from… everything.”

Price can tell you're growing tense. “Have you eaten this morning?”

“Not hungry.” You respond, trying to seem as normal as possible. “But, I would like to shower… I haven't had a hot shower in, uh, four months. I only ever got cold ones.”

“One of us can show you where-”

“No, no,” you wave your hand, “I saw it earlier. I'm sure I can find it myself. You four probably have a lot to talk about. I'll be out of your hair now.” You force a smile.

You exit the room and head back to your room. That probably wasn't going to be your room much longer. You grab some clothes and head towards the showers.

Your head hurts and you want nothing but to sit in hot steam and scrub yourself under scalding hot water. You make your way into the showers and find it empty. You sigh. You go into one of the little showers and close the door. You turn on the water and relax as the warmth hits you. You groan and roll your head back. It's the nicest you have felt in months. ——————————— Simon has not felt so angry in so long. He wants to find who did this to you and kill them. Every single one of them. The way you had seemed to shrink when talking about what happened. How you look to be a shell of your former self. And how you probably don't even remember your former self.

“What do you mean we are going to alternate sleeping arrangements?” Johnny asks. Simon wants to know how it’s going to work too.

“That’s up to her.” Price finally says. “I’m assuming she’ll pick one of us to stay with during the night. We can change it every night. Or however often she needs.”

Simon needs you to pick him. But, he also hopes you don’t. Your last interaction with him has seemed to have left a horrible taste in his mouth. He wants to protect you so badly, still. Maybe you don’t need it now, or anymore. But he has to. Even if you don’t remember what happened.

“Simon,” Price’s voice is low, soft, reassuring. “This is not your fault.”

“You keep saying that.” He growls. “You weren’t there. I was. End of story.”

Simon plays the night over and over in his head. Every day. Ever since you were taken. The night at the safe house. It was you and him… It could have been him they snatched up. But it had to be you. He can’t stop thinking about how differently it could have been if it were him they took. He isn’t so pliable… His blood is boiling.

“Ghost,” Johnny speaks, bringing him back down, “she’s okay now.” He places a hand on Simon’s shoulder and tries to reassure him. Everyone is so reassuring… Simon wishes they would stop. He isn’t used to not being able to contain himself. And yet, here he stood. Seething. Ready to bash the heads in of anyone who even thought about bringing harm to you. He can’t take it.

“Fuck this.” He needs to clear his head. “I gotta go.”

Price, Johnny, and Kyle let him leave. Simon thinks maybe a hot shower would help him as well. He inhales deeply as he walks towards the showers. The door swings open and Simon realizes there is only one shower running. Good. All he can hear is water. Steam covers the room. It’s practically a sauna. The water stops running.

Then he hears it. Soft humming. A hum he knows he’s heard before.

Memories are flooding back. Your fingers running through his hair, his head on your chest, and your soft hums the only thing he can hear. Suddenly he can’t breathe. He’s frozen. He’s moving in autopilot momentarily. He’s making his way towards you. He spots you. A towel is wrapped tightly around you and your back is to him. Your hums turn to singing and Simon reaches you. He opens his mouth to speak and he realizes too late he has startled you.

He’s reaching for your shoulder when your hand grabs him. You swing him around and slam him into the concrete wall. Every bit of breath is knocked out of Simon. Your hand is on his throat and your eyes are dark. Simon notes they’re way darker than he’s ever seen.

“Oh. It’s you.”

“You’re in the men’s showers.”

Simon watches as your face drops. You look around. “No one was in here. I didn’t- My brain was too foggy.”

Simon’s hands are up. He relaxes as you let him go and his eyes don’t leave yours as you fix the towel covering you. His eyes briefly drop and he looks at the scars littering your skin. You were right. They’re mostly smaller scars, but there is one on your forearm, right under the bend of your elbow. There was force behind that one.

“Should have let us show you where it was.” He smiles under his mask. You look embarrassed. “I’ll make sure no one comes in, if you wanna get dressed, love.”

It slips out. Naturally. He tenses as the word leaves his lips. Love… His back is to you as you get dressed. He does not dare peek. As he begins to relax, words leave your mouth causing him to tense all over again.

“Ghost?”

He wants you to call him Simon. “Hm.”

“Gaz called me ‘love’ earlier too… I know it’s a British thing, but the way you both said it-” Simon tenses as you pause. “What were we? All of us?”

Simon really does not know how to answer that. He can easily tell you about him and Johnny, or about Price and Gaz. But you? Fuck, it was confusing. He didn’t entirely know what you were with the others. But he did know the both of you were close. But, never like that…

He says your name. His eyes shut. “That’s complicated.”

“Hm…” He hears you hum. “You can turn around now.”

Simon turns to find you approaching him. You’re dressed and holding your towel in your hands. “Sorry about earlier… I don’t know what happened. I didn’t know it was you-”

“It’s fine.” Simon motions for you to walk in front of him, letting you leave before him. He watches you closely. He wonders if you can feel his eyes on you. If you can, you don’t say anything. Simon wants nothing more than to reach out, rest his hand on the small of your back, and walk you to where you’re going. He refrains.

“I’m sort of hungry now…” Your words bring Simon back. “Can you show me to the cafeteria?”

Simon nods, “Of course.”

He walks in front of you. His body begins to lead the way, while his brain is stuck on you slamming him into the wall. He can’t stop thinking about it now. Processing it. You looked absolutely feral, and a little terrified. He tenses, his fingers curling into his palms, as he thinks about what happened to you to make you that way.

Simon doesn’t want to have to go through the pain of remembering certain things. But he hopes that if you do remember who snatched you up, that you will tell him who it was. So that he can cause them just as much turmoil.