#this might end up being used as data for a project im working on so im v interested to see peoples thoughts

[secretsofthewilde]

So I personally found out about Deadloch bc I watched Wentworth first and then saw suggestions to give Deadloch a watch bc of the familiar actresses, but I'm interested to see how common the overlap of fans really is.

Basically, I'm wondering if most Deadloch fans are ones who migrated from Wentworth, or did they happen to just find the show naturally.

[whisker-biscuit]

Sonic Big Bang 2024

Close Encounters of the Grim Kind: Chapter 3

-----------------------------------

Through the next few days, Tails discovered three things aside from his alternate dimensional research.

It took about six hours for the probe to make a round trip from him to his new pen pal and back when they tested it.

His pen pal was extremely intelligent and just as interested in the state of the Shatterverse as he was. They did not, however, want to talk about anything else, and especially not themselves.

Sonic was still refusing to share the full picture of what happened during his adventure.

Only one of these things was technically a problem, but the fox was a scientist first and foremost, and a very curious child on top of that. So, he set out to “solve” each and every one.

The first one was easy, relatively speaking. The device had been built to travel indefinitely, collecting data at manageable speeds to be analyzed later. Now that it wasn’t being used as a probe but as a simple messenger, it was no issue to redirect some of its power output away from its memory banks and towards its speed instead. He let his pen pal know what he was doing, and wasn’t surprised when they offered their own assistance, claiming that they had worked with Paradox Prism energy to know how to make movement almost instantaneous. Working off only a fraction of that power instead of the entire prism meant it would still be slower than that, but any upgrade on that front would be an improvement.

Together, they were able to drop the travel time from six hours to two, which helped immensely. It also made Tails debate crossing “Sails” off of his list of potential people, because Sonic never mentioned the pirate ever getting close enough to the Prism to learn how to do that. In the end, he kept the name on because the evidence against its presence was still flimsy.

Additionally, his unknown collaborator sent equations that would allow Tails to duplicate his own technology with Prism energy, which he used to make several more probes to send out across the Shatterverse. None of those devices were intercepted and fed data at a constant rate to his computer for him to observe and report back to the pen pal.

By the end of the week, it became routine for a familiar flash of light to appear in the fox’s shop every few hours. He’d pause in whatever he was working on to read and respond to the message as though it were an overly detailed texting app instead of the intricate probe that he’d built it to be.

[ have you found any interdimensional cracks or signs of decay? ]

– No. So far, none of my probes have registered any anomalies. –

[ good ]

[ i was unable to check for that since losing access to the shards ]

[ was worried it might return even though the paradox prism was reformed ]

– What about you? –

– Did you see anything concerning appear in your own dimension recently? –

[ none so far but ill keep you posted if that changes ]

The second problem took a little longer to work around, and Tails wracked his brain for ways to approach it without raising suspicion. He desperately wanted to know whether he was working with an Eggman above all else. It was hard to think about how their minimal exchange exploring and discussing the Shatterspace’s state of being was beneficial to any version of the mad scientist, but he’d been caught off guard by a convoluted evil scheme before and had no intention of kickstarting another with his own help.

At first, he tried to gauge his mystery partner’s interest in technology.

– I’m sorry my last message was delayed for so long. –

– I was caught up in a new invention idea and lost track of time. –

[ theres no expectation for a prompt response ]

[ im not offended ]

– That’s a relief. Do you ever get tunnel vision with your own projects like me? –

[ yes ]

– Glad to see I’m not alone! –

– What kind of projects do you like to work on? –

Asking that last question led to him being ignored for nearly half a day until one of his probes completed its semi-scheduled data returns, in which his pen pal finally sent the device back asking about its findings. There was no mention of the original inquiry; Tails got the message and didn’t bring the topic up again.

It did make him cross out Mr. Dr. Eggman’s name on his list, however – from what Sonic had told him, the man never would have been able to pass up the chance to brag about his own genius, no matter how obvious the trap.

His second attempt was more roundabout – disguising it as idle curiosity about the Paradox Prism and the Shatterverse.

– There’s still so much we don’t know about all of this. –

– My memory is a bit hazy about what happened when the dimensions split. What do you remember? –

It was admittedly a dangerous gamble. He didn’t know how many people Sonic had told about the Prism being from Green Hill, or that he himself had no recollection of the dimensions breaking apart. Someone as smart as his pen pal might be able to deduce who exactly he was – and by extension, where Sonic was – if he made a single misstep. The last thing Tails wanted was to put another target on his brother’s back even if it was from a source that probably wasn’t much of a current threat without a way to cross dimensions independently. Eggman ingenuity was never a thing to take lightly.

[ i didnt personally notice anything different until sonic first appeared ]

[ he was the catalyst for the changes in our dimension and across the shatterverse ]

Tails couldn’t help but laugh when he received that message.

– Yeah, that seems to be a constant for him. –

– He mentioned he had Prism energy inside his body that allowed him to traverse the dimensions –

– Did you ever see that in action? –

[ yes. it was remarkable to experience ]

[ the first time he used that power, he briefly shut down power in all the machines in a significant area ]

That little tidbit gave the fox pause. He remembered very well Sonic’s description of that event – and how it had happened when he was a captive of the Chaos Council. Without immediately replying, the fox instead found his notebook of names and finally removed Sails from it. Then his pencil hovered over Nine’s name for a solid minute. Sonic had mentioned that dimensional counterpart had been captured at the time as well, but had he actually been there to witness the explosion Sonic had caused?

Asking outright was likely going to go ignored again. He tapped the pencil to paper and stared at the probe as he considered how to react to this new revelation without his pen pal shutting it down.

– What was that power output like? Was it a visible phenomenon? –

Receiving a response within the average two hours made him heave a sigh of relief.

[ extremely visible ]

[ the best way to describe it was a giant rainbow hued shockwave that extended outward from his body ]

[ it was pure unfiltered prism energy with no direction or goal ]

– That sounds incredible. Did the Paradox Prism ever do something like that independent of Sonic? –

[ yes, but it looked a bit different ]

And so, the inquiry turned back around to their research without any further fanfare. As grateful as Tails was for the new hint and frustrated that it was still too vague to fully confirm his pen pal’s identity, he left those follow-up questions alone for the time being. Patience was going to be his best friend in this careful investigation.

Speaking of best friends…

Sonic had finally started to lose his manic energy regarding his friends. He wasn’t pestering them for hang-outs as often, he wasn’t spending most of his time loitering around outside Tails’ workshop anymore, and his daily runs were taking him far enough away again that sometimes it would be more than a day before any of them caught even a glimpse of him. Both Amy and Knuckles expressed their relief to see him settling back in after his solo adventure, and even Rouge made a passing comment about it when they crossed paths.

The fact that he still hadn’t told Tails about everything that had happened wasn’t as worrisome any longer, and probably would have just become idle curiosity if not for how he stumbled onto something he was obviously not meant to see.

He’d been on his way back from Amy’s house and decided to take a quick detour towards the waterfall he had first met Shadow at, hoping to tell the hedgehog that Sonic finally seemed to be doing better again. He’d flown up the cliff from the hill’s side until he reached the very top, but found himself to be the only one there today.

Then the familiar sound of a sonic boom made his ears twitch and he looked out at the landscape.

A blue streak was approaching, followed by a yellow one that was keeping pace but not gaining it. Tails watched, surprised, as his brother came to a stop at the shore of the lake below the waterfall. What was even more surprising was how Shadow caught up a second later and stood beside him instead of challenging him to a spar or another race to even the score. They began speaking, too far away for him to hear, but even from up high he could tell by their body language that it was a tense conversation.

Getting close enough to eavesdrop wasn’t an option. Both hedgehogs had hearing that would pick up his flying immediately, and he was almost certain that whatever they were talking about it would stop the instant they noticed his presence. Feeling a twinge of guilt that wasn’t enough to assuage his interest, the fox pulled out his Miles Electric and began tuning it to amplify the sound waves from below to a frequency he could hear and understand.

“….fine, Shadow, honest! Man, I had no idea you were such a mother hen.”

“It’s not about ‘mothering’, Sonic. It’s a legitimate concern.”

“Aww, you’re concerned about little old me? Never thought I’d hear you confess it outright.”

The sound of their banter made Tails’ shoulders relax when he hadn’t even realized they’d been raised. It meant that whatever they were talking about probably wasn’t all that serious after all. Or it meant…

“Stop deflecting. It’s not going to get you out of this conversation.”

…His brother was avoiding a discussion, again.

Sonic sighed so visibly that Tails didn’t even need his device to see the action. He put his hands on his hips and turned towards the lake, kicking a rock into the water as he did so.

“I really mean it, Shadow. I’m fine. I feel fine. Nothing about that has changed since we returned to Green Hill. I get why you’re worried, but there’s nothing to be worried about anymore.”

“Your brother seemed to think differently.”

“Tails?” His head whipped around so fast to stare at Shadow that all his quills bounced in sync. “What do you mean? You’ve been talking to him? What did he say?”

The other hedgehog crossed his arms, looking irritated even from far below. “Contrary to whatever belief you might hold, we keep in contact when the situation calls for it. He has expressed worry that you aren’t behaving like yourself.”

Tails’ eyes went wide. What was Shadow doing? Hadn’t he been the one who insisted that they keep Sonic out of their arrangement? And now he was blabbing about a private conversation!

“Oh, well, if that’s why you’re suddenly up in my business, don’t worry. We talked it out a while back.”

“Did you?”

“Yes, Shadow, geez. He noticed I’ve been a little…clingy, and I told him it was because I was thinking a lot about the dimensional counterparts we had to leave behind. Plus, y’know, the whole “all my friends became shadows of themselves that I thought I’d never be able to piece back together” part? Pretty obvious why I’ve been off my game the last few weeks.”

“Did you tell him about –”

“No, I didn’t, and I don’t need to.” Sonic’s tone took on a hard edge. “I’m not about to put that on his shoulders. It has nothing to do with him and he’d still feel guilty about it.”

“What happens if you ever start to deteriorate?”

Deteriorate?!

“I’m not going to, Shadow! There’s literally been no reason to worry about that! You are literally the only one worrying about that.”

“Of course I am, Sonic!” The hedgehog closed his eyes. A pained expression flashed across his face and his voice grew softer when he spoke again. “Of course, I am. You were…dying in my arms.”

Tails felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. He backed away from the edge of the cliff and clutched the Miles Electric in shock, hoping he’d misheard what had just been said. The long silence that fell between the two down below was enough of an answer. Too much of an answer.

“Listen, I’m really sorry about that,” Sonic finally said, sounding more somber than he’d been in a long time. “Truly, I am. I wish I could go back and do things differently so you never had to experience that. But I mean it when I say that I haven’t felt any different since we got back. No weird energy, no sparks, no teleporting no matter how fast I’ve been running. Nine said he pulled all of it out of me and I have no reason not to believe him. Especially not after…all of that.”

More silence. Tails curled his namesakes around himself to try and soothe his sudden shaking.

“…You really trust him that much, huh?” Shadow’s voice was unreadable, and so quiet that it was barely audible even through the device.

“Absolutely. Just as much as I trust Tails. We’d all be wiped from existence if it weren’t for him.”

Another long pause.

“Shadow, I get why you’re worried, and I promise I’ll tell you if something changes. We both said we’d be better about communicating after this, didn’t we?”

“We did.”

“Then trust me when I say I’m okay. Please?”

“…Fine.”

“Thank you.”

“You really should tell someone else about this, though. If not your brother, then one of your friends.”

“I’ll think about it. You up for a race to the ocean?”

“Perhaps another time.”

“Alrighty, then. See you later.”

A blue streak zoomed off, visible for only a few seconds before disappearing beyond the horizon. Tails found the ability to move and peeked back over the side of the cliff. Shadow was still at the lake shore, staring in the direction Sonic had run off in. His back was turned to the waterfall and so the fox couldn’t see his expression. After nearly a minute of standing there like a statue, his rocket shoes kicked into gear and he dashed off as well in a different direction.

Tails sat down right where he was, completely stunned by everything he had just heard and struggling to process it. Sonic had almost died. Sonic had been dying and hadn’t told anyone about it. How had that even happened? They’d mentioned something about “weird energy.” Was that because of the Chaos Council? The Shatterverse breaking down? Him being displaced from the dimensions in the first place and physics had finally caught up to his body?

And why on Mobius did he think Tails would blame himself if he knew?

Thoroughly shaken up, the fox flew straight home. He was still so blindsided by the information he’d unintentionally learned that he didn’t even notice the probe hovering above his desk until he collapsed into his chair after almost an hour of pacing his workshop.

He picked it up almost on autopilot, staring at the latest messages there without really reading them. It was some theory about why the other dimensions still existed with the Paradox Prism reformed, but he couldn’t wrap his head around the words no matter how he tried to distract himself with them. What did pointless theories matter when his own brother had nearly died – might still be at risk of it if Shadow’s concern was valid?

Tails needed answers and he needed them now. Screw Shadow’s terms, screw whether this mystery person was a friend or foe, screw everything that wasn’t going to tell him what he needed to know. If it ensured Sonic’s safety then he’d take any risk.

Instead of replying, the young scientist shut the device off and pulled out its blueprints, along with the notebook he’d used to parse out the equations for how to make it travel faster between dimensions. Additionally, he recalled all of his probes that had been out collecting data. Two hours between messages was too long to wait for each reply. He needed this to be as instantaneous as his pen pal had claimed the Prism energy was capable of, and he was going to use all the energy currently at his disposal to do it.

A preliminary glance at the time told him it was early evening. He turned off or flipped over every clock and time-keeper in his space, knowing this was going to be a long haul. From the kitchen he retrieved a full pitcher of water, an entire half-pan of lasagna leftovers, and three unopened energy drinks. As each probe returned one by one in small flashes of rainbow light, Tails cracked his fingers, stretched his arms once over his head, and got right to work.

It took most of the night. By the time he shut the final panel on the device, finished charging it with all the other probes, and turned it back on, the nearest clock read nearly 3 AM when he dared to look. The fox cradled the device in his hands, thoroughly exhausted. For all the work that he had just accomplished, he knew that was technically the easiest part of this entire thing. The rest hinged entirely on his mystery collaborator.

Tails drank the rest of his last energy drink, then spent the next five minutes crafting a message that would get his intentions across without scaring his pen pal away forever.

– I know we agreed to keep this as solely a research venture but this is urgent. –

– Do you know what happened to Sonic before he returned to Green Hill? Is there a chance it could happen to him again? –

– Please. I need to know. –

He sent it out before he could second-guess the wording. Then he waited.

Nothing came back.

The fox gave it ten minutes. Thirty. An hour. Just like the very first time he’d activated the device, he was left in limbo, waiting and wondering if everything he’d worked so hard for was about to go up in flames. He knew it wasn’t just about technological limitations anymore. There was a small chance that his pen pal was asleep, but their time zones were very different and they seemed to have just as odd a sleeping schedule as he did. The radio silence was most likely an intentional one.

Eventually, out of lack of anything better to do, Tails began cleaning up his work station just to get rid of some of the nervous energy jittering through his body. He glanced at his desk for any sign of flashing lights so often it was quickly becoming a compulsion, and so he forced himself to leave the room entirely. Crawling into bed had him feeling conflicted; he was so tired and on the verge of a crash, but he was terrified that any minute the device would return and he would miss it for hours.

In the end, physical needs won. Tails passed out the moment his head hit the pillow and he drifted off into restless sleep.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

YOUR EMPLOYEES AND INVESTORS WILL CONSTANTLY BE ASKING ARE WE THERE YET

I think I've figured out what's going on. After the first 10 or so we learned to treat deals as background processes that we should ignore till they terminated.1 Don't Get Your Hopes Up. Something hacked together means something that barely solves the problem, the harder it is to bait the hook with prestige. And that is almost certainly mistaken. So one thing that falls just short of the standard, I think, should be the highest goal for the marginal. Big companies think the function of office space is to express rank. As big companies' oligopolies became less secure, they were willing to pay a premium for labor. You can see it in old photos. If you're friends with a lot of the worst kinds of projects are the death of a thousand cuts. And what's especially dangerous is that many happen at your computer.

And the microcomputer business ended up being Apple vs Microsoft. In 1450 it was filled with the kind of turbulent and ambitious people you find now in America. You have to like what they do there than how much they can get the most done. That's not what makes startups worth the trouble. Design This kind of metric would allow us to compare different languages, but that if someone wanted to design a language explicitly to disprove this hyphothesis, they could probably do it. This technique can be generalized to: What's the best thing you could be doing, not just what you can see the results in any town in America. With this amount of money can change a startup's funding situation completely. There I found a copy of The Atlantic. Whereas it's easy to get sucked into working longer than you expected at the money job.2 That's ok. I think you have to do all three. But more importantly, you'll get into the habit of doing things well.

But what if the person in the next 40 years will bring us some wonderful things.3 They all know about the VCs who rejected Google. The writing of essays used to be.4 You may have read on Slashdot how he made his own Segway.5 He improvises: if someone appears in front of him, he runs around them; if someone tries to grab him, he spins out of their grip; he'll even run in the wrong place, anything might happen. The people who've worked for a few months I realized that what I'd been unconsciously hoping to find there was back in the place I'd just left. It was supposed to be something else, they ended up being Apple vs Microsoft. By 2012 that number was 18 years. The first thing you need is to be willing to look like a fool.6 Google they have a fair amount of data to go on. John Malkovich where the nerdy hero encounters a very attractive, sophisticated woman.

Many of the big companies were roll-ups that didn't have clear founders.7 Empirically, the way to the bed and breakfast, and other similar classes of accommodations, you get to hit a few difficult problems over the net at someone, you learn pretty quickly how hard they hit them anyway. Inexperienced founders make the same mistake as the people who list at ABNB, they list elsewhere too I am not negative on this one was the only way to get lots of referrals is to invest in students, not professors. It will actually become a reasonable strategy or a more reasonable strategy to suspect everything new.8 Never say we're passionate or our product is great. Whereas undergraduate admissions seem to be disappointments early on, when they're just a couple guys in an apartment. Programmers at Yahoo wouldn't have asked that.9 Incidentally, this scale might be helpful in deciding what to study in college. VCs think they're playing a zero sum game.

I spend most of my time writing essays lately. Almost everyone's initial plan is broken. If smaller source code is the purpose of comparing languages, because they come closest of any group I know to embodying it. Distracting is, similarly, desirable at the wrong time. But if we make kids work on dull stuff now is so they can get away with atrocious customer service. In fact, here there was a kid playing basketball? Of course, figuring out what you like.

Go out of your way to bring it up e. The industry term here is conversion. Try to keep the sense of wonder you had about programming at age 14. At least if you start a startup, people treat you as if you're unemployed.10 But hacking is like writing. Even with us working to make things happen the way they used to, they were moving to a cheaper apartment. It causes you to work not on what you like, but is disastrously lacking in others. I do in the rest of the world. Their defining quality is probably that they really love to program.

I could only figure out what to do, there's a natural tendency to stop looking.11 Economies of scale ruled the day.12 One is that this is simply the founders' living expenses.13 I need to transfer a file or edit a web page, and I think I know what is meant by readability, and I think they're onto something. Multiply this times several hundred, and I get an uneasy feeling when I look at my bookshelves. You may have read on Slashdot how he made his own Segway.14 Everyday life gives you no practice in this. Startups grow up around universities because universities bring together promising young people and make them work on anything they don't want to want, we consider technological progress good.

Notes

Samuel Johnson said no man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money. Which is precisely my point. If they were regarded as 'just' even after the egalitarian pressures of World War II the tax codes were so new that the guys running Digg are especially sneaky, but except for money. They don't know enough about the new top story.

The image shows us, they tended to make money. But we invest in the Bible is Pride goeth before destruction, and one of the fake leading the fake leading the fake. In No Logo, Naomi Klein says that 15-20% of the aircraft is.

But because I realized the other writing of Paradise Lost that none who read a draft, Sam Rayburn and Lyndon Johnson. If they agreed among themselves never to do due diligence for an investor? The best technique I've found for dealing with the other.

I ordered a large number of startups as they do for a public event, you can ignore. If you want to help the company, and a few of the Facebook that might produce the next Apple, maybe the corp dev is to show growth graphs at either stage, investors decide whether to go to die.

If you walk into a big company CEOs in 2002 was 3.

Or rather, where w is will and d discipline. But that turned out the existing shareholders, including that Florence was then the richest country in the sense of mission.

In Shakespeare's own time, because they can't afford to. The company may not be able to raise their kids in a company in Germany. When we got to see the apples, they said, and why it's next to impossible to write an essay about it wrong. That will in many cases be an open booth.

I'm not saying you should probably be worth trying to tell them exactly what constitutes research in the early 90s when they say they bear no blame for any particular truths you'll learn. As Jeremy Siegel points out that there is undeniably a grim satisfaction in hunting down certain sorts of bugs. Did you know about it as if you'd invested at a discount of 30% means when it was actually a great programmer doesn't merely do the right direction to be is represented by Milton.

But a lot of the next round. It's hard to say exactly what your body is telling you. In Russia they just kill you, they tend to be very unhealthy. One thing that drives most people realize, because you have two choices, choose the harder.

Though Balzac made a lot of classic abstract expressionism is doodling of this essay talks about programmers, but one by one they die and their houses are transformed by developers into McMansions and sold to VPs of Bus Dev. Or rather, where it sometimes causes investors to act. Eric Raymond says the best hackers want to trick admissions officers. And no, unfortunately, I mean efforts to protect widows and orphans from crooked investment schemes; people with a truly feudal economy, you better be sure you do in proper essays.

The top VCs thus have a better education. Or a phone, IM, email, Web, games, books, newspapers, or some vague thing like that. You need to fix. But the question is not much to maintain their percentage.

Kant. Loosely speaking. The real decline seems to them to lose elections. Some types of startups where the recipe is to say incendiary things, they can grow the acquisition offers most successful founders still get rich simply by being energetic and unscrupulous, but they get for free.

World War II to the frightening lies told by older siblings. That's one of the most general truths. As we walked in, we found they used it to get into that because a unless your last funding round.

But this seems an odd idea.

Thanks to Jessica Livingston, Shiro Kawai, Garry Tan, Chris Small, and Nikhil Nirmel for sharing their expertise on this topic.

[amazingphilza]

study buddies :: cc!multiple x reader

fluff , platonic , gender neutral ! some headcanons if the mcyts were trying to help you do hw :D

cc’s included in order: tommyinnit , tubbo , ranboo , wilbur soot , philza , technoblade

tommyinnit

i feel like he’s the type to be in a long discord call with you whilst you both try to finish your work

mans uses the screensharing feature like there’s no tomorrow

“y/n watch my stream on discord and help me guess the answers”

“tommy no! i haven’t even taken a film class before”

“your guess is good as mine”

“just cheat and google the answers!!!”

“fuck you”

he actually just wants your attention because he’s bored out of his mind doing homework

five minutes later of asking you to help him guess questions he’s like

“hey y/n”

“what now?”

“let’s play bedwars”

“oh my god shut up!!!”

if tommy has to speedrun something before a deadline, it is a whole different story tho; he will be so focused on completing that he won’t hear what you’re saying

if you’re struggling in math, you’re on your own

“math is shit, only numbers i need is my primes and youtube analytics” says tommy any time you complain about math

besides the fact he isn’t good at solving math problems, you can’t even read his handwriting if he did try showing you how to do a problem

“okay, y/n, it’s simple, just look” he says in his kareninnit voice and everything

you’d be like “is the variable a G or a 9??”

“fuck you that’s a 4!!!”

tubbo

i don’t know if tubbo ever talked about school before but something about him makes me think he’s actually pretty good at math

like he can explain a few things when it comes to math / algebra

CODING GO BRRRR

no geometry or calculus though, anything past algebra will go bad

if tubbo is doing homework with you, he will definitely tune you out

“hey tubbo can you help me on this question?”

you don’t get a response until like 20 minutes later

“oh yeah, what was it y/n?”

like now you answer? i just got the answer myself after so long, forget you smh

“oh nothing tubbo, nevermind!”

but you’re still grumbling in your head because if he answered just a bit earlier you wouldn’t have gone through the work of finding the answer online

i can also imagine if you’re taking chemistry tubbo is like ;

“oh you’re taking chemistry? let’s make some bombs!” /lh

tubbo would definitely pull an all-nighter with you to finish your projects together

if you had a group project, he would make you do the writing part while he does the drawing part

“we definitely aced this project”

“of course we did, if i made you draw we would’ve ended up with stick figure diagrams”

“TUBBO. THE FUCK?”

ranboo

okay i know ranboo said he isn’t a theatre or band kid (unless im wrong and forgetful) but i feel like he’d be somewhat educated in the topics nonetheless

half the time he’s great moral support, helping you stay motivated !

the other half is him making fun of you

“i cant believe you’re failing, that is so sad, can’t be me”

“it’s literally an honors class, ranboo! it’s supposed to be hard!!”

“taking an honors class willingly? also cant be me AHAHA”

i honestly can’t see ranboo going to school like i know he’s a minor and said he had zoom calls before and plays volleyball but like did i miss something? has he dropped out yet? like something about ranboo does not scream “student” /lh

besides that, i’m not sure what subject he would actually be good in,,, but something about nutrition/health sciences,, he knows a few things

don’t get me wrong, i don’t think he actually likes the subject but somehow remembers what he learned from the class

also gives me the type of energy of the type of person to take a first aid class to be a certified person to do cpr on someone just to kill time during his lunch breaks for a while or something

“i am a certified cpr person”

“my life in ranboo’s hands? oh god please no”

you two would probably joke about the ‘bad’ people in your classes or talk shit about your schools than actually doing anything homework related ngl AHAHAH

“you think your school is down bad? mine went back to campus full time after like 6 months into quarantine because they were running out of money”

“what the hell y/n? your school is a scam, drop out”

“arghhhh i knowww”

“i bet i make more money than your teachers combined AHAHAH”

wilbur soot

he doesn’t seem like the best person to ask for help for homework but can info dump you on very specific historical events + a bit of geography

i kinda see him as the person you can ask to proof read an essay for you and would help it improve immensely

who needs a thesaurus when you have vocabulary boy wilbur?

i dunno if it’s an american thing only or at all, but if/when you get to studying hamilton in your english class, he will get so fucking excited

“no wilbur it isn’t fun! imagine listening to lin-manuel miranda rap ‘alexander hamilton’ at the white house from like 2009 on repeat for over an hour whilst trying to write an analysis about it!! it was so distracting”

“well clearly someone has a personal problem with mr lin-manuel. if i were you, i’d be singing the whole thing”

is this last bit personal and complete spite from my freshman year english class? yes. i do not care? no. /hj

unrelated but i actually scribbled nice guy ballad lyrics and other songs on my english scratch papers in freshman year but anyway

probably isn’t the best person to be in a call to do homework with but wilbur doesn’t mind you ringing him occasionally sometimes

i dunno i can just see him easily get bored of the silence or something but also doesn’t want to bother you too much

but he is genuinely proud of you whenever you tell him you aced a big test you were studying for :D

philza

this man’s bad advice is as bad as him trying to help you on any subject

he’s an old man so /hj

but like honestly, he hasn’t been at school for so long, phil can probably only help with the most basic things when it comes to school

if you have a wack teacher that makes you collect data through surveying people, phil would be one of the best people to ask! straightforward and won’t take too much of your time compared to other people ahem,,

statistics things ! sobs

if you ever complain a lot about your classes and contemplating dropping out and stuff, he will def scold you hard

“ugh phillllllllll can i just like,, never go to school again?”

“do not drop out”

“argh fine, i won’t just ‘cause philza minecraft said so”

honestly if you get a high score in a big test like your sats/gcse’s (whatever you’re taking from wherever you are) he’d probably order you a small meal or something to celebrate :D

like how phil bought ranboo bought him food to his house, it would start as a joke but when you get your test scores back he’s like “YOOO GOOD JOB Y/N”

expect a left meat pizza coming to your house .

technoblade

like wilbur, techno is also helpful when it comes to history!

def knows a decent bit of literature too

besides that i don’t really see him being that helpful

even if he was supposed to be an english major

he will just get mad at the school system for teaching you useless things

“being in school is good but why do you need to know how to know if something is a triangle or not? i can obviously see with my eyes that it’s a triangle”

“i dunno! ask the person that made up geometry”

“just look at a kaleidoscope and be over with it, it isn’t that hard”

“that isn’t how it works—”

“bruhhh”

if you’re looking for the person to call while doing homework, he is not the person /lh

it’s either like 0 or 100 with techno

he can just completely not say anything and ignore you or go on a full rant about whatever class or homework you have

if you have an essay you need written, it will take a lot of bribing but he might take the opportunity if you are rich

“techno i’ll paypal you $10 please help me”

“no. i can make 10 times that amount in 5 minutes if i just started streaming right now”

“techno i don’t have that kind of money! pleaseee”

“no. instead of complaining, you can use that time to actually start you work”

“you’re the worst”

then you speedrun the essay and get an A just to spite him

[jinnyu]

regarding romance!

╒══════════════════╕

Used artwork credits

Hop

Bede

Leon

Raihan

╘══════════════════╛

———☆️

Hop🍀

It started as the cliché love story about falling in love with your very own bestfriend

Which, actually turned out great??

His Zacian/Zamazenta loves you as much as it's trainer does, and is willing to protect you from anything

Probably because it observed Hop being protective over you, and proceeding to do the same

Sure it might took a toll on him when you defeated him on the championship semi-finals, but he wanted you to be happy more than anything

He's such a sweetheart even if he doesn't show it much

The type to appreciate small little things, especially when it comes from you

"Let's camp together!!"

You camped together

He got chased by a wild steelix whilst trying to gather data for his research later

His Zamazenta/Zacian was busy playing with your own legendary

*from the distance* "GAH! HELP!"

You ran after him and calmed down the wild steelix

Then you walked to him and checked if he got any wounds or scratches, which leads you to cupping his face gently with a worried look on your face

Hop's blushing

He's freaking out inside

You didn't notice the tint of blush dusting his cheeks,which gradually reddens with each second that passes

"im okay, dont worry" he tried his best reassuring you

Even though he's blushing, he proceeded to press his forehead gently against yours, closing his eyes and smiling

oh no he's cute

You're blushing

haha blushy reader

You let him do his thing, its somewhat calming

He's warmm

His hands are calloused, different from yours; you just remembered this when he placed his hand on top of yours while you were checking for his wounds from before

This just shows how much he's been working off to reach the champion title

And yet he's completely alright with you taking the spotlight

After all, you're his shining star

And he wouldn't have it in any other way

You let him borrow your champion cape

And he lets you borrow his labcoat

It fits just right with you! And it got his scent, which calms you down whenever you're feeling anxious

When you wear his labcoat, you're 1000000000% irresistible to his eyes

"Don't be so adorableee" he said as he pulled you into a hug and burying his face in your neck

You only laughed softly at his reaction. He was blushing too,,,

You often waited for him to finish his lab work, even if it's until late hours

He's a really hard worker, no wonder he stayed until late

"Im sorry for making you wait"

He looks exhausted, but tried his best to pull a bright smile, not wanting to worry you

You only gave him a warm hug, which surprised him at first before he hugs you back and proceed to walk you to your house

💓💓💓 < your heart

Comfort time

There's usually some jerks who'd tease you for being the champion, or flirt with you in an impolite way

If Hop caught on to this, he would politely ask them to leave

If they still dont understand, his legendary comes out of his pokeball and growl at them

He'd ask them one more time to stop bothering you, but this time, with a menacing smile that says "stay here any longer and you wont get to see another daylight"

Then he'd check up on you, asking if you're alright, if they did anything to you or whatnot

Hed wrap his arms around your waist and drape his labcoat over you, because he knows his labcoat always manages to calm you down

"It's okay, you're okay, everything is alright now, c'mere"

You let him hug you as you feel safe around him, and you two stayed in that position until you feel alright again

💕💕

———☆️

Bede🍰

He's not the best at showing affection but at least he tries

You help him come out with quizzes for his gym challenge

And sometimes joke about the poses he makes when practicing

Sometimes, he gets reminded that you're the champion of Galar and he's way out of your trainer level

Which actually motivates him to become the strongest gym leader there is by pushing past his limits

"I'll show you how strong fairy types can be"

He said to himself as he was thinking about you

People kept misunderstanding fairy types after all, and thats a big mistake

You appreciate his efforts in maxing out his strength, and you show it by coming to his fairy stadium whenever he battles a challenger

You texted him "good luck, I'll be cheering 4 u!❤️❤️👍" before his matches start

And you looked at his direction after sending the message

He has just gotten your message, and opened it

Which leads to him blushing furiously as he covers his face with one of his hands

He took a deep breath and tried to regain his composure, only to fail miserably when he saw you looking at his direction with pure ambition and determined eyes as you grinned happily

All that i could say is, he's red as a beet

He wont lose this match, not when you're watching him.

He puts extra effort when you're watching his match, and made sure not to slip up. It'd be embarrassing if he did.

Opal notices this and only smiled seeing her successor acting out of his place whenever you're around

Opal knows something that you dont, and that's Bede's feelings for you

After his match ended, his Hatterene walked towards your direction, pulling you into a tight hug

You were surprised, but apparently Hatterene has grown to like you ever since she first met you

And when you look at Bede's direction, he was looking away with his arms crossed infront of his chest, visibly drowning in embarassment

,,,you wondered, is Bede projecting on his Hatterene or what,

Yes, yes he is

So you asked him if he also wants a hug, which of course he answered with "Why would i want a hug from someone like you? That'd be an insult to me"

You let go of Hatterene and hugged him anyways

He flinched when you hugged him, not knowing where to put his hands and just let them stay still in a defensive pose

Hatterene watched with a smile from behind you, seeing her master in such a flustered state was truly something new for the Pokemon

Not long after, Bede finally let his arms wrap around your waist, giving in to his subconscious and just hug you

he wanted to hug you anyways so thats a win win situation

You were actually surprised when he hugged you back

He smells nice!! Like perfume?? Cologne?? Floral scent

His Hatterene decided to join in and wrapped her arm around you both, making you all hug even more tightly

Bede cant handle this well.

No, not at all.

His face was really red and its hot— in all honesty, its cute, but he was burning

"Why do you have to embarrass me like this?"

You buried your face in his neck, which startled him as he couldn't think at all

"Y-you!!"

He feels nice and soft, so you're not planning to let go any sooner, likewise with Hatterene.

Bede's mind: ASDFGHJKL????—GODDAMMI—

OKAY NOW COMFORT TIME

His true nature would come out when you're not feeling yourself or when people would makw you feel like shit

"Hey.."

His face shows concern, but it still his usual look of coldness— however, his actions are warm despite his cold features

He'd let you wear his coat as he battles anyone who dared to hurt you

"Are you alright now..?"

He cupped your face and made you look at his face, swiping off the tears that stained your face with his thumbs delicately

He hated seeing you cry, and he'll try better next time to make sure you didn't cry

———☆️

Leon🌟

He's kind at all but sometimes he's just... "???????"

Training!! Dates!!

More like battle tower dates because he really admires your strength as a champion

Occasionally, he'd visit your house and check up on you, wondering if you're free for the day for "quality time"

At first, he was surprised to see one of the legendaries answering the door for you

And he couldn't resist to ruffle it's hair

your legendary on the other hand was kind of irritated by it

So it let out a displeased howl

Which leads you to come down stairs and see who is it

"L—leon?"

He looked up and greet you with a goofy grin as your legendary returned to your side, walking with you

He treats you like a gentleman, and sometimes is very strict with your training regimen

In which you usually whine about because you're the current champion and you have no business listening to him

But he'd swoon you with lovely words

And you would easily fall for it

you hate this

You hate him

No you dont

You love him, you could never hate a goofball like him anyways

Hey did i ever mention Leon's sense of direction is shitty

You went on a date in Wyndon a couple of times and he still gets lost everytime

"Ah!! Hey—....."

"Im lost again aren't i?"

He tried to find his way back to you but got surrounded by paparazzis

Even if he's not the current champion

You saved his butt since he couldn't say no to the people and his fans

He said thank you and hugged you, lifting you up to the air before pulling you close to him

This only made you laugh softly as you hugged him back, letting your fingers comb his thick lavender like hair

His body is warm and comforting, you really like his cuddles and hugs

He came into your house one time when you didn't answer his calls or messages, only to find you drown in your anxiety and self loathing

He pulled you in his arms and let you cry on his shoulder until you're all done and alright again

He'd draw circles over your back and tell you reassuring words— tell you that you're more than enough and he's grateful to have you here, alive and well

Your Zacian/Zamazenta got out of it's pokeball and helped you in calming you down too by giving you small licks on your knee

It'd whine whenever you're sad and climb onto your bed, nudging your arm afterwards as if it's asking what's wrong

You're lucky to have them both whenever you need them the most, and they're lucky to have you

———☆️

Raihan 🐲

It's finally the Character y'all been waitin for, dragon boi coming through

Okay serious talk here— Raihan is TALL

His hoodies makes you look smaller than you already are

You tried copying his "Gaooo~" pose a couple of times while wearing his hoodie

Its cutest thing he has ever seen his entire life

It makes him melt everytime

Okay aside from that, he's gentle and laid back, even if his personality is quite the opposite when he's on battle

He's cLINGY ASF

Don't forget his fangs, never forget his fangs

You're actually curious about his fangs since the first day you saw him

And he lets you touch it whenever you like

Youre still curious, because what the hell, its so cool

The first day you saw him after defeating him in a match and gain your gym badge, he immediately took an interest in you and your strength

"Hey Challenger!"

He called you before you tried to take your leave, gaining your attention

He then asked you if you want to practice with him next time, and have a rematch when you've become the champion

You agreed and exchanged numbers

What can i say, he spams you like?????? A lot

And casually sends you pictures of him and his duraludon

You love his dragons, especially flygon

Flygon loves you too, and one time it wanted to come with you

Raihan lets you keep his Flygon and you send him pictures of you with it

He sends emotes of duraludon crying, wanting to join you and your fun trip with Flygon to grab the Champion title

After you took the Champion title, Raihan greeted you with a big hug

And you hug him back with no hesitation

"Congratulations, may i have a selfie with the new Champion?"

He asked in a teasing manner, letting you down on your feet as you nodded

You took a selfie selfwith him numerous times before he posted it to his social media

He captioned 'First person to get a selfie with the new Champion'

He took pride in that, and some of his fans were jealous that you managed to get a selfie with him

From that day onwards, he'd have casual selfies with you, sometimes hilarious one and sometimes its just for showing off

You didn't mind it really, he's a celebrity anyways, so you understand why he does that

"Hey.. do stars have feelings"

It was three am what the fuck Raihan

You squinted at your screen seeing his message

"Why in the Galar would you be awake, dear Dragon tamer?"

You answered him

And immediately he answered "oh? The Champion is awake?"

You guys didn't sleep afterwards and was sending streaks of blurry selfies

It was fun and helped you cheer up

You got some of his blurry pics that he captioned "party rock in the house" when clearly its just him and his pokemons

What a goofball pt.2

You love him anyways shut up

Haha smol reader pt.2

[dreadfutures]

You referenced being in school/working on your PhD (I think, might be misremembering sorry). When do you typically find the time to write? Im so impressed at your pace, dread futures is a behemoth

Hi! I'm gonna use this as an opportunity to rant about science PhDs because so many people don't know how they work 😅

But long story short, I walk to/from work every day and write on my phone during that time, and I try not to bring work home but have a lot of anxious energy so I end up needing Something To Do with the little free time I have, so I end up writing. I wasn't sleeping a lot. I also have a pretty fast typing speed, and used to transcribe interviews quite often so transcribing game dialogue is pretty quick for me too. And I was Really Feeling Things and had a story I had to tell. And I really cannot emphasize enough that for the most part I turn off my inner editor when I write fanfiction, I do not plan my stories out much ahead of time, and I treat it kind of like an improv/dnd-like experience. What got published last is what I have to work with, and I have to make it work. I also self impose a 3k goal/limit on my chapters and then it's time to publish. All those things combined yield a pretty fast update schedule.

Now for the rant:

Most people think of graduate school as just that--school. Having lived with PhD students in Classics, Chinese Lit, and Business, that's true for a lot of disciplines. You take classes. You read all the time. All the while you're forming Opinions and you explore those in lectures and articles you produce, using the vast amount of information you've absorbed over your schooling. If you're familiar with an Honors Thesis from undergraduate education, you basically produce one of those over your time in a NON science PhD program.

A STEM PhD is much, much more like an elementary science fair project, but instead of asking What Is The Most Efficient Design for a Solar Cookie Oven, you're asking questions that contribute to issues like climate change, chemical waste production in manufacturing, Alzheimer's treatments, and vaccine development.

Sometimes your adviser is the one who tells you, "Hey, study this and see what happens" just like your elementary school friend might have had a parent or teacher give them an idea. Sometimes you yourself come up with the idea. Either way, here's the real difference between a science fair project and a PhD project:

In a PhD, no one has ever asked the question you're asking, and no one knows the answer. And your Question might be so small and seemingly inconsequential, you will never be able to explain it truthfully to your grandmother over Thanksgiving dinner. Even if your Question is fundamentally important to something like the race to efficient carbon dioxide fixation.

Also, it's not fair to say you have One Question in your PhD. A PhD researcher is a one woman army against a whole battlefield of Questions, and you spend about 1 year per Question (Project) answering (and all the little side questions that come up, curiosities, flashes in the pan, that you think might help you answer the main Question). A typical chemistry thesis is about 3-6 big projects that are related to one another usually only tangentially.

Day to day life is NOTHING like being a student. I walk to work and get in ~8am, and leave at 6. I work 6-7 days a week. The whole time I am doing research work: either at a fume hood, or in a glovebox, doing chemistry, or MAYBE I will sit down and analyze my data or look up prior research in the field to inform my future experiments/learn how to do a certain analysis.

I am teaching myself new techniques, new chemistry, and producing new techniques and new chemistry.

Science PhDs come out of their programs and go into jobs and their bosses tell them to stop working so hard, to only do what they're told, to stop taking work home. Because in normal industry jobs you get contracts that include time off, regular work hours, and regular performance evaluations, whereas a PhDs job is never done, your hours are dictated by what the experiments require, and the amount of time you spend doing your work is pretty proportional to how long your degree is going to take. :-/

Oh yeah and if you're lucky, you have a contract with your university! If you're lucky, you have a union! But most of us have neither of those.

STEM PhDs fortunately will pay you, rather than you paying the University. However, better settle for 25-30k (US)/year. Maybe you get health care. Good luck if youre in a more expensive rent area because 30k is already pretty high for a program offer. Oh, and unless you're very lucky, you likely will need to be a teaching assistant for undergraduate courses multiple times a year. Some contracts stipulate that TAships cannot require more than 20 hrs of your time per week (that's a 50% appointment, and the rest of your time you're supposed to be working in your research lab) but good luck, most of the time your teaching/grading load is going to be ~30-40 hours of its own. And just because you're teaching doesn't mean you get to produce any less work for your research!

Because here's the other thing: you're not an employee, you're not a student. You're supposed to be doing research to answer Questions that will save the world. But you get paid, and your adviser/professor gets paid, and your SCIENCE gets paid, based off of how many Questions you've already answered and how Important someone in the government judges your Answered Questions to be. So if you're not Answering those Questions and simultaneously proving that your Questions are Important, then your funding, and your adviser's funding, are at risk.

I worked in a startup for a while and it was very similar in mentality: your life and your work are the livelihood of the company, and you have to do everything in your power to ensure the company is popular and productive, with as little funding and time off possible--because if you don't do the work, there's no people or money to pick up the slack.

The upside to working in a startup, though, is that in my PhD I come across fun questions like: hey, why is this *that* color? but this other thing is different? And I have the freedom to try and explore those questions. Whereas in a startup, there is no space or time to waste on side projects. I'm in to this work for the curiosity and the passion (when I have energy enough to remember them lol). And a PhD not only provides me with specific skills and knowledge, it also proves that I can pick up any new field and dive in, teach myself, and be productive in it. Most of us never go on to work in anything immediately relevant to our PhD work, because our PhD work is so open ended, but also so narrow in scope within a field. It's important work and it's how most progress gets made in our quality of life and technology and healthcare and other developments as a society--this brain-breaking labor of love by underpaid and over caffeinated, unprotected workers in labs that are constantly at risk of being defunded.

Oh and halfway through, after you've wasted 3 years of your life melting your brain with big Questions, you have a Candidacy Exam where you prove your worth to a committee of Expert Professor Researchers in your field, and they say whether you even get to finish or not. 🤗

Which is what was happening when I started writing DPDF. in the middle of a pandemic. With a lot of my friends and support systems leaving me. And DPDF was born as a coping mechanism for the hopeless, worthless, existentially threatening place I was in at the time. Nothing gets the fingers tapping more than feeling like you want to die every moment you're alone with your thoughts, and having every other moment eaten by blistering brain work. Not working, and sitting, and relaxing were impossible and made me feel extraordinarily guilty. So I wrote. Like my life depended on it. It did. It does.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 6/29/21

i read part of a book, the reading section is no longer fallow, we have planted and sown some sort of crop

listening venus fly trap by MARINA. a dear mutual whose post i cannot find and i do not want to tag in case i am misquoting her called her latest lyrics “preachy” and i gotta agree? this one is almost but not quite a fun throwback to electra heart era. whereas that album was very much about watching “weaponized femininity” and a persona crumble around you, this is more of a mean-girl single designed to get your attention on the rest of the album. “why be a wallflower/when you can be/a venus fly trap” is an inherently delightful line.

because i take a week off from this project every december, one week’s listening gets doubled up. glass animals’ mama’s gun gets on here bc it is perfectly engineered to stick in the back of my brain. i love a layered, kind of cluttered instrumental backdrop. the chimey-chimes! the sad woodwind! i don’t know that i particularly care for the lyrics or the people in the internet arguing about whether this song is about drugs or schizophrenia (the band said it’s about drugs, don’t be terrible to people with schizophrenia)

reading here is a stab at the beginning of a post, bc i fully intended to finish this book sunday night and then. didn’t.

i’m trying to walk a fine line between pointing out things i find irritating and taking an older work for what it was at the time but tumblr is not known for its reading comprehension so i am belaboring some points and being more diplomatic with my word choice than if i were jawing about this book with friends. i read The Drowned World by JG Ballard as one of my first forays into the adult (shut up) fiction section at the library. there are some lines that have stuck in my brain for more than ten years, such as (describing sailing over a city under sixty feet of water) “...like a reflection in a lake that has somehow lost its original.” i’m a sucker for “sad man on the bleeding edge of civilization holes up in a once-grand building with looted bits and bobs”. i think it’s good set dressing and i love a poor little meow meow. 

@morrak​ kindly offered me a pretty vintage hardcover that came in the mail a few weeks ago and i finally had time to crack it open. i draft these posts on sunday, and this sunday it comes to you from my phone in my landlord’s backyard, where a hammock really isn’t helping with the ninety-two degree heat and fifty-eight percent humidity. a good backdrop for reading about the earth remembering it used to mostly be a big swamp.

i typed a very long draft that ended up being mostly “wow kay you’re saying a novel written in the 60s is worried about the destruction of the world but in a dreamy and kind of sexist way with a tenuous relationship with reality at best?” yes. that’s just how old sci fi is sometimes and we can point out how parts of it don’t hold up for a modern audience while talking about the parts we do like.

for example, it takes a lot of its flavor and style from late-1800s harder scifi about hidden worlds/a changing world due to industrialization (think Journey to the Center of the Earth, or any novel about a secret paradise at the South Pole, or Erewhon). it is, instead, a softer scifi mostly concerned about the effects of living through a disaster that isn’t your fault and couldn’t be prevented, and what staring at constant ruin (no matter how beautiful!) and isolation does to a guy’s brain (as opposed to “harder” scifi like a lot of Verne’s work or Liu Cixin’s The Three-Body Problem that are really interested in how future technology might realistically work). i personally don’t think it’s a meaningful remix of these early altered-world novels, or at least i personally don’t find it terribly compelling in this particular aspect. women in late-1800s scifi either don’t exist at all or exist to be rescued from primitive humans so the author could write about some cool guns killing people. Beatrice thedrownedworld is in fact a catalyst for part of the book, but she does not feel like a real person, whereas Robert thedrownedworld feels like most of the professors ive had. poor bea, trapped in a sixties novel only to look pretty, be negged, and serve as a psychosexual metaphor. i have a pet theory that if you fuck in an older dystopia (like older horror) you die, but i don’t really have enough data points to separate it from standard misogyny just yet.

but at the same time, it’s such an interesting example of an apocalypse that isn’t humans’ fault. the earth is just doing some fucked-up shit for a while, and we might as well go see what’s up. in a lot of earlier scifi, the earth is just doing some fucked-up shit in the polar regions and we might as well go see what’s up.

sidebar, bc i’m me: in late-1800s scifi there’s some fun brotherly love/camraderie among the protagonists that you could put an interesting queer reading on (ask me about my Professor Arronax-twentythousandleaguesunderthesea-is-trans-theory) but Robert thedrownedworld is extremely straight. also like most of the professors ive had.

this is a book i’m fond of for its place in my life at a particular time and some really good imagery. sometimes on a sunday afternoon you read a short novel that does an excellent job of telling the story it set out to tell, and that’s enough.

watching the L0ki show. d/isney for once did not queerbait me, i do find their budget and attention to detail in costuming and set dressing excellent, and i do love an unapologetically not very nice woman. from previous experience with this particular flavor of #content this particular company puts out, i do not think it will hold my interest for a full season. also i am unable to read TVA as anything but Tennessee Valley Authority but that’s a different post

playing fallow week due to NDA

making lots of cleaning and packing and move-prepping. bought a fuckton of future textile crimes at various yard sales, which need to be frozen bc im inherently suspicious of old yarn and i’ll be fucking damned if i bring carpet beetles or moths into a new place. bug-free zone in the new place goddamnit

[autosadist]

a few months ago, after literally completing this app i have been developing, my boss told me he wanted me to switch the back end to SQLite even though the only data saved in the app was string data in a mutable list of objects. we made the decision to store that variable in a key-pair value since literally all the data needed for the app to function could be accessed from there without issue

for the past few months I've been struggling to untangle messes of SQLite code (none of the row IDs will increment past 0 for some reason, so literally none of the app's features work since that is the means to access that data)

I didnt map this app out with SQLite in mind. all my diagrams accounted for the simple key-value storage system, and they worked, but my boss, who asked me last month how i open programs without desktop shortcuts, was insistent that i overcomplicate things by completely overturning the storage system

he has no clue why i have been struggling with this, and all attempts to articulate it have fallen on deaf ears. the other day he told me he could get someone to finish what im doing for a third of what he pays me in a year - completely inappropriate, so i've decided i will just give 20% while searching for a new job

my boss makes no effort to work with me and knows virtually nothing about software development. he doesn't realize he is the reason this shit isn't done, and i have spent almost a year and a half working as the only programmer on this project. this isnt the first time he has used abusive language to shame me for shit i didn't do wrong, but it might be the last

i'm a contractor, so i don't really need to worry about a shitty reference. if my boss thought I sucked he would have replaced me a year ago. i'm a capable programmer with worth; i just need a proper team with at least half-assed project management instead of this directionless hell being run by a guy who drives all over the country and shows up once a month to berate me

i am just scared about not being able to find a new job, even though we have a, like, 4 month safety net. will serious companies wonder why i'm fleeing this job or if i have needed skills and not bother interviewing me? I'm sure I can get another job but I have a lot of work trauma related to being fired from retail/food service jobs (for being trans lol) when I was a teenager

[huntsman-ash]

RWBY V8E3 LiveThoughts

Its Saterday and that means its time for everyones favorite post spam; Orca-mun bullshits about RWBY! And here we go.

On a personal note I barely ate anything today so my brain is jittery. I ate something before this of course but one does not solve low-food jitters instantly. So we’ll see how this goes.

Also the more that I hear the opening for this season the more I hear things that I have had Ash say before.  “The hope to change the world is just a childish dream”. It comes off in the song as kind of a poke at Ruby and her team, same way as how V3s opening was all about loosing and falling, but here I cant help but hear it in the voice of Ash, caustic and sarcastic, angry at the world for his own issues and putting it onto the “blind, naieve Huntress’s” Ironwood now has his team focused on.

Actually again, a lot of the song is talking about stuff that is probably coming up in the show. “The path we tried to avoid is already here”. “Path home is suddenly clear”. Basically hinting RWBYs going back to Vale at some point. But we knew that already.

And again, the part with time stopping while Cinder walks among the fighting reminds me of a shittier version of the I Know You trailer for Halo Wars 2.

And now the episode actually starts. Apperently, riding the pnumatic tubes does NOT instantly kill you. Im...half dissapointed. At the same time it makes sense, they seem to be fully sealed so. 

Doesnt seem like its fun though thats for sure.

Dear Blake; please stop being adorable.

Oh, and we get to see how Penny see’s the world too. Interseting. Wireframe with data...and shes unintentionally doing the Konami Code if Im not mistaken.

Also cool to see that the active camo semblance works exactly like Halo’s active camo, ergo; its bending light, not true invisibility, since you can JUST BARELY see the shimmer where they are.

And this moment is a painting I like to call; Five Lesbians and a Robot in an Elevator. Legit shocked Atlas doesnt have elevator music...

And we finally, FINALLY get some reference on the storm. Shorter Atlas trooper sayd “they cant get too close to that storm without getting shot out of the air”.  Okay...so Salem actually has defenses against airships? Couldnt they have SHOWN THAT?

Also, props to the female VA for sounding like AN ACTUAL FUCKING SOLDIER. “CO can get us some answers”...hell yeah. And then Nora’s randomly a dick for...no reason.

Penny’s finger has a scomplink just like in Star Wars.

And they didnt think to remove Peitro’s security clerance, alright then. Someones gonna know they were there though since she used his ID...but maybe thats part of the deal. They get in and get out fast.

Central Command is so dissapointingly small. I HATE IT. ITs two rows of consoles and like...8 dudes. No, wait...three rows? For a place this big it should be six times the size and look more like NASAs mission control.

Nice to have some data on how Ruby’s semblance works though. She apperently breaks herself down to her component molecules and negates her mass and HEY thats how I said Ash moved! DAMMIT RT

Also I guess Remnant follows SOME laws of physics.

NGL Blake is suddenly being a better character now that shes not held down by Yang. Might just be me though. 

“Busy” says Ironwood. In my head, the five minutes before this shot; EXECUTIONS EXECUTIONS ALL THE EXECUTIONS. MUCH PURGING, VERY CLEAN NOW.

Oh I LIVE for the sudden look of shock on Watt’s face. Bro KNOWS what Ironwood can do. That said, obviously hes going to turn on him because...duh. Its Watts. But hey, least hes a little afraid. Unless its an act.

His acid snark against Penny is refreshing. “Magic science project” indeed.

Oh, thats why hes so worried. FOUR DUDES AIMING GUNS AT HIM. Nice. 

CALLED IT

“Authorization granted to handle any threats with lethal force”. GOOD. 

Oh no, Nora’s got an idea now. Im worried.

I get the feeling the random office geek guy that Nora trips is someone from RTs office, hence the “#1 Dad/Dud” mug. Dumb

Home made sign. Really. REALLY.  UGH GOD DAMMIT RT. 

Funny sign though.  Also the scream from the tech is so fake its not even funny

Wow. For fuck sake. Thats how they get through. Seriously.

Seems I paused at the right moment. Blake is very confused about being inside Ruby.

Nice to see that Atlas follows OSHA regulations and has railings on its weird catwalks.

Hardlight forcefield door? Interesting. I guess May went off to steal an airship or something.

Also this is something I JUST remembered but I thought Johanna was the trans member. Actually thats May. So thats my bad.

HAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT MINDJACK!

Why’re there holes on the base of Penny’s gloves...

No logiccal sense to half of Atlas’s tech, glad to see that hasnt changed any.

Blake is me when my dads working at his office and taking way to long to do anything.

Blah blah okay talk less do more shit. Character stuff BORES ME

Hm. Nora speaks the truth.

ANNNNDDD its the Ace Ops. Now lead by Hare.  ...no cuffs. No heavy equipment. No gas weaponry. Nothing. They know exactly how strong these people are and instead they show up with ALL OF THEIR OLD STUFF. Are you fucking serious.

STOP TALKING AND JUST KILL THEM ALREADY DAMMIT! Marrows comment is how I feel. But I think hes lying. As does he, I think.

I like how its Vine doing the talking, and that they start by trying to REASON with them. They’re scared. They know they might not win again.  They’re taking the cowards root. To no ones fucking shock.

UHHHGGGG all of this fukcing mind shit with Penny is really pissing me off.

Good, now the fighting starts. Thattttss why they;re on the platform.

Hey, actual teamwork out of the Aces, kinda. I guess their boss being dead helped.

Okay seriously how the HELL is she not fighting this easier? Shes a robot, surely she has predictive combat algorithms...

Man Marrows getting SHIT ON this fight.

Mmm. Hare thighs. I like

Weiss says the truth for once

And all the fancy work and fighting is ended simply by a beefy woman grabbing Penny. I like that honestly. Simplicity, brutality.

Wait never mind.

HAHAHAHAH OFF THE Wall and now she flies. No shock.

HAHAHAHAH YES

Good shit. Good work Marrow.

Well that works. JESUS FUCK Nora.

Yow they’re not DEAD. Excuse me

Oh look Nora’s...wow. Cool, scars.

Still mad Pennys swords are on wires, but hell. Wire funnels are wire funnels. Or would those be incoms? I dont quite remember the distinction.

Marrows quiet look is kinda sad. Oh good nora’s not dead.

But they are down a person and...ah. They’re letting them go. Death Star tactic.

New ship design, havent seen this one before. The whole top part opens which is interesting to me. And then she just GONE. 

Ah. So thats what they were doing. Cool.

Obviously gonna backfire, but hey, who knows. Maybe RT will surprise us.

Annnddd thats it for the show.

[patchofsunlight]

i'm usually better about taking care of myself😭 bc i already had to start drinking more water for band and i usually have snacks anyway, plus i can usually tell if i actually might pass out or if i just need slow down but that parade was definitely an oopsie😭 i can only think of like 2 more times where i might have passed out and all the other times i was dehydrated, but i think everybody is used to it by now😭

when me and my brother were younger we would either get along super well or be yelling at each other and there was no in between😭 now it's more neutral😭😭

taking about how i met people is always fun for me because besides being intimidated by literally everybody my first impressions are always interesting😭 it's usually either we were around each other a lot for whatever reason and then one of us said something funny so we're friends or something really weird happened and we just kept talking after😭 like me and the one friend have definitely known each other for 3 or 4 ish years now and we had our first one on one conversation in september😭 we were also talking about elementary and middle school and i made a joke about my elementary school crushes but everybody was embarrassed by theirs😭

my projects are going...😳🥴 another friend has both classes with me and was helping me a bit but it's not that i'm having trouble with the work itself i just actually have to go and do it😭 but we're on break right now so it's easier which is good😎

my favorite is korra but i love bolin a lot too, who are yours so far?

but i accidentally stay up late all the time too😭 it makes sense for me because i'm definitely more of a night person and i already have a weird concept of time, but what usually happens is i'll go "i'm gonna do this and then go to bed" and then something distracts me but i still want to do the first thing and then all of the sudden it's 3😭

i'm good tho! today is christmas eve so me and my mom were going through gifts because i'm impatient and some of them weren't really wrapped so we opened them anyway, i accidentally spilled this bath bomb thing on my floor😭 but i also got one of these plague doctor plushes i always get instagram ads for because me and one of my friends said we'd get them and match😎 but i mostly chilled today

what about you? how are you, did you get to write anything or study? -🍓

HEY BABYYY SORRY FOR THE WAIT I WAS OUT OF TOWN FOR LIKE A WEEK AND A HALF WITH NO STABLE INTERNET CONNECTION OR DATA BUT IM BACK

strawberry..... omg. that’s- god. yes please take care of yourself LMAOOO

PFFFT FELT that’s just how having a sibling works

ANDKWKSNWK NGL I LOVE THAT. GOOD FOR YOU. ALL FRIEND-MAKING TACTICS ARE VALID. i never know how i get friends im usually just vibing and then it happens. it’s wonderful

how did that work go!!! tell me!!!

ugh BOLIN I ADORE HIM HES DEFINITELY MY FAVORITE NCKWKDKEK he’s just...... so nice........ i love him. but i love korra and asami too!!!!! specially asami she’s such a bad bitch and i love her so much

EXACTLY. going to sleep is so much work. i have so much shit to do. humans should’ve out evolved the need for sleep already. let’s all be awake all the time until the end of time

that sounds so fun!!!!! did you like all your gifts??? AND BRO GNEJXKWKS HOW DID YOU SPILL THE BATH BOMB THING HOW DID THAT HAPPEN. and the plushie 🥺🥺🥺🥺 thats so fucking cute. who’s gonna get matching plushies with me, huh????? who???? i CRAVE I T

i’m alright!!! i’ve been resting a lot so it’s time to go back to studying 🥴🥴🥴 but i hate...... studying LMAOOOO specially bc i’ve basically finished studying for portuguese, literature, history, geography, sociology, philosophy, and biology (worry not i have done it over the course of months not in like 2 days LMAOOO entrance exams ask for too much i’m just a child please) which is the shit i LIKE so now i have to go through math, chemistry, and physics. and it’s a nightmare. i hate it here i despise it here. i opened up my studying questions for physics and i felt the urge to cry. why must i go through this.

and i haven’t written at ALL LMAOOO FKEJXKWKXK YEAH 🥴🥴🥴 i have my most important entrance exam january 10th so i think i’ll not write until after that. idk i’m just NERVOUS. cant college just let me in. do i have to take an exam. i hate my life

what about you, strawberry??? how have you been??? did you have a nice christmas??? a nice new year’s eve??? how are you

[devourer--of--books]

So, I just started to play Obey Me! Shall We Date

And well, I have thoughts

Im currently stuck on the first levels of lesson 5, so my knowledge of the plot is limited to that + some spoilers I accidentally got while going though the obey me! tag. Do I have a deep understanding of this game? No. Am I gonna rant anyway? Yeah. See me do another one of these soon after I play it some more, but for now, I need to put this out there:

First, mechanics-wise, the first thing on my mind was "Mr. Love from Hell", which is honestly not too far fetched. Maybe it's because I'm playing in my old ass tablet (I need a new phone, this thing ain't gonna survive 2020) but it's just so slow??? I've tried downloading full data, and it kinda helped, but still, it just annoys me so much! It's not crashing like crazy (cof cof Love Island The Game cof cof) but it could be better, it takes forever to get the itens to level up cards because it just ????????? takes forever for them to load???? anyone else got this problem or it's just my device? Anyway, that aside, I quite like it, if you played MLQC, it's pretty easy to manage, and while it takes a bit more of attention to win battles, I think that's a good thing. Getting shards has a been a bitch, like, I keep on suffering with the loading and my competitive ass wants to finish begginer's missions, and again I think Mr. Love has spoiled me. Also, someone please tell me how to level up skills, because I have no idea???

Now, moving on to the actual tea: what do I think of these boys?

Let's go in order, shall we:

So, I open the app and I see Lucifer in all his red and black glory, furry cape, Dom-Daddy, Big D Energy for days and go "Oh, Demon!Nobunaga, fun!". I'm immediately drawn to him beacause Nobu was my first ever otome guy and while I eventually grew out of the whole "this man is so controlling and sexy and dark" phase, nostalgia ya know? So, turns out the vibe I keep getting from Lucifer is more like all those dark-kinky-Jumin-Han-fanfics (as in, the only parts of Jumin Han that I hate) rather than Nobu? Idk man, this guy just seems shady?? They all do honestly but Lucifer is just plain scary. Dude, I know you've got the whole "most-powerful-oldest-control-freak" going for you but, like, can you chill?

Yet I can't really blame him, cause, Veronica (that's my MC's name) why, girl???? She be going up those stairs, and I'm just ??? Real talk, I'm kinda of a rule follower? I don't wanna make this guy mad, man, all I wanna do is hit on Satan (which we shall discuss soon) and see some family drama shenanigans. Lucifer says "don't go up those stairs" I'd be like "okay???" because up until now he hasn't given me a reason to not trust him (aside from being shady)??? But I have no choice but go talk to Belphegor (don't even get me started on this one) and I can just tell I'm gonna get in trouble for this. Could I not get there accidentally? Do I have to go there against Lucifer's direct orders? I don't think this is gonna go well, I just don't wanna get on his bad side hskshskshk

Lucifer's room, however, is everything to me, the deco is lovely (skeleton aside) and that bed, maaaannnn

Mammon started really annoying but he's been growing on me. I have a soft spot for dumb bitches like him, I guess? He just cracks me up? Not to be cheesy, but I like him as a friend? Maybe that'll change in the future, who knows, but for now that's how I see him, the best friend guy who is gonna be in love with you in every single route (read, Seven, but dumber). Can't wait for the angst. Looks wise I kind got him mixed with Solomon at some point (my dumbass though it was a bug) but all those Surprise Guest moments have me thinking he's way cuter than I gave him credit for at first.

I always feel bad for ratting him out to Lucifer, but boy, you and Veronica practically share one single brain cell, okay? I need to get my girl into Lucifer's good graces, I ain't about that troublemaker life

Levi is gonna be brief: No. He's not my type (otome or real life wise) and he annoys me. He reminded me a bit of Yoosung at first, and I'm trying to power though it like I did with him, but I can't. He keeps dragging me into his stuff and it's not cute, it makes me resent Levi. I'm not much of a tsundere enthusiast by nature, and I really don't like when they portray fans and gamers in this kinda "I'm weird, look at me I'm so weird and different" light ("have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? that's weird" jsjdndmsksjdnsmskdjnddm). It comes across (to me at least) as childish and dumb (not endearing dumb, like Mammon). Idk, maybe I'll change my mind? Don't come for me, Levi stans

So Satan

I love Satan

Otome makes you say the strangest shit hm

Still. I haven't interacted much with him but I'm obsessed with this man. Let me date you, okay? You look like posh book-cat-candle super model I wish existed. Let's be petty together. Since I haven't been playing long I hope I don't end up regretting putting my heart and soul into loving you. I'm doing all kinds of jobs to get intimacy go up with him, because guyghbkhiugiygufgfydddyghvjgvjg I'm all about that soft dom energy he has going for him, it's basically everything I love about Jumin Ham, but less CEO and more cute-bookstore-guy. Ideally, Satan is 100% my type, even if not the usual otome route I take first. Also, he is the Avatar of Wrath, which, along with Pride, is my most prominent sin, so I might be projecting

Pls babe don't turn out to be terrible

Kay, so Asmo. Asmo gives me all the Shingen vibes but realistic Shingen. Like, of Shingen is all about worshiping his MC, Asmo looks like he wants to be worshiped himself. Not judging, tho. That thing he said about loving himself above all things, I feel like it was supposed to be shady but I kinda agree? He's onto something. All this self-sacrifing thing is so romanticized. Can't we all be in healthy non co-dependent relationships? Love yourselves, kids. Which is why, while I said Satan is my ideal type of man, in real life, most of the people I've been with are Asmos. That being said, that's why he doesn't really work as an otome LI for me (at least for now). I'm here to live a fantasy of dating demons, not to see my exes. He is tempting tho. Who doesn't want a friend to do face masks and fuck from time to time, no strings attached until, "oh no, we both caught feelings, whatever shall we do" and then have it end well? (can you tell I'm projecting? my therapist is gonna love this). Poor Asmo, it's not his fault. Darling I'm sure you'll turn out to be lovely

On Beel, not much. I'm not into him, at least for now. his personality so far is that he's hungry. So what, man. I'm not here for that either. I don't find food particularly fun or sexy, it's just here to keep us alive (unless it's sweets, sweets are the best, but I'm having to cut down on sweets so), so he's not doing much for me. Gotta wait for that character development I guess

And to end this rant, Belphegor. Bitch, I've seen you on my demon cards, don't you dare tell Veronica you're human. But she's a dumb hoe, my girl Veronica, so she just doesn't question it???? I swear, this girl. Shady doesn't even cut it with him. Sorry, you're telling me what to do? Dude, lol, you're lucky this is Veronica and not me, because I'd be out of there as soon as you started this bull about me doing pacts with demons to get your ass out of that room. Don't prey on my empathy, it pisses me off. Spoilers tell me he's like a human-hater or something? Boy, fuck you, okay? Am I going to end up loving him? Who knows. For now he can rot in that room for all I care

Anyway, that's pretty much my first impressions of this game. I'll be playing it for some more time, until I get up to date on lessons and story or until colleges comes to drag me to literal hell, whatever comes first

Peace, my dudes

[unpopularly-opinionated]

RE: My post earlier about the Ooblets Epic Games Exclusive backlash.

I’m not going to show the Twitter user, if you follow the indie game development scene on Twitter it’s likely you’ll recognize this tweet, either way that’s not who I am. The Ooblet’s account on the other hand is fair-game since it’s basically a product placement.

I feel it needs reiterating how utterly dense this kind of tweet is, and how completely skewed the narrative for this issue has gotten, so let me reiterate in obnoxiously large and emboldened font to try and get the point across:

THE GAMING COMMUNITY IS NOT TOXIC

“Honesty” and “transparency” are all well and good, but unless you’re honestly trying to drive away your own community, perhaps you should try being a little less honest and a little less transparent. No one (or I guess no one but this guy and the few who agree with him) is going to thank you for honestly throwing them under the proverbial bus after they’ve spent months, if not years, supporting your project; your dream.

I’ve heard from others that “this is just how they write” and “it’s meant to be funny”, and to an extent, I can understand that. But let me just include some screenshots from the post in question to reiterate my point, because I feel like my previous post didn’t quite get the point across:

(Context: What the Epic Games Exclusivity Deal means for you, the fan and/or financial backer of Ooblets).

I get that the Fortnite bit is the joke, ha ha, Fortnite used to be wildly popular, I get it, good meme. What isn’t the joke, and what was part of why people got upset was the first bit, specifically the “download the Epic Games Launcher and make an Epic Games account” bit, that bit.

Now, I personally have no qualms about having the Epic Games Launcher on my PC. I have long since looked beyond the ‘scandal’ of tech companies saving and selling my data to distant lands to be used for nefarious moneymaking schemes. Is it bad? Sure, maybe. Would I prevent it had I the chance? Of course. Do I have that chance? Not a chance in the world, so I decide to live with it.

That said, many others have not reached that point of fuck it, and understandably so. I hit that point because of my negative outlook on society as a whole but, praise be, there are in fact still some optimists out there who look at these shitty corporate tactics and say no to them, and good on them for that.

That is what I would say is the bulk of the primary issues people have with the Epic Games Store. The missing features bits aren’t terribly important, as even this post says, if you have a social life on Steam, then use Steam. The EGS does not need to be your do-all replacement.

This is where the post should have stopped. Here and now, had this post ended, any and all issues with this decision would have been but a whisper in the wind. As I said in my previous post, yes they undoubtedly would have received plenty of critical, and non-critical backlash for the decision regardless, but ending the post here would’ve 100% put the developers on the right side in this situation and I’d be right up there agreeing with that tweet.

(Context: Are you angry at Epic and/or us for this decision?)

Referring to earlier when I said that playful tone and humour are all fine and dandy, I understand that this is probably meant to sound playful and humourous, but it comes across as largely self-important and ignorant, and the bits that follow do in no way dissuade from that appearance.

While my response to this complaint was similar to their own, in that you should just use Steam for the features that the Epic Games Store lacks, they go on to essentially say that this is just baby EGS and that Steam used to be just like it and look at it now.

While they aren’t technically wrong, from a development point of view, the big thing they need to understand is how web standards have dramatically changed since 2003 when the Steam store launched. Launching a store, of any variety, without a shopping cart is a big no-no.

As far as missing features go, that’s not like missing a friends list or a IM feature, that’s missing a crucial part of a web-based storefront. Imagine going to a store and only be allowed to purchase one thing at a time, that would be ridiculous.

Their response to this was as corporate as any triple-A publisher, or really any corporation at all, from any industry. Just a complete disconnect from society that frankly is unwarranted from what is quite literally a two person operation. Not to mention, their response is quite literally what every parent warns their kids about at a young age. “But mooooooooooooom, everyone is doing it!!!!” Yes sweetie, but if everyone jumps off a bridge, are you going to?

Apparently, yes.

And not to discount the idea of making money, by all means make money, but let me put it this way, had they left this post exactly where I said they should have previously, all of the blame would be at Epic’s feet. Because at the end of the day, having your game be exclusive to one service does not make you money, it makes them money. So this whole “everyone is doing it” schtick doesn’t fly when coming from the developers. Had this been a post by Epic (and frankly with all the shilling I could be convinced it was from them) then this argument might have made just a tiny bit more sense.

Underlined in yellow are the jokes; the “playful” and “humourous” attitude I’ve heard so much about. Underlined in red however, are what the developers are actually genuinely saying with complete and utter seriousness.

“There are worse things in the world to be upset about.” I kid you not, that’s their argument.

Now, all of that reiterated, to get to the actual point of this post (wish Tumblr let you do multiple “Keep Reading” lines but I digress), the article linked in the tweet here is about the previous “non-critical” backlash I mentioned they’d receive, though multiplied exponentially by their horrendous blog post, and further community responses to said blog post.

I’d like to refer to a completely unrelated post I made quite a while ago that really needs to spread like wildfire if you ask me:

RECEIVING INSULTS, UNCRITICAL FEEDBACK, AND/OR DEATH THREATS DOES NOT INVALIDATE THE CRITICAL FEEDBACK NOR THE ISSUE AT HAND.

I am by no means wiping away death threats or mean words as things to scoff at, by all means take them as seriously as you will, but under no circumstances should 20+ people telling you to kill yourself invalidate the hundreds of fans and financial backers who are upset with your recent financial decision, or your response to criticisms to those decisions.

This happens time and time and time again. Someone of note does something bad, for one reason or another, and instead of responding to the completely warranted and justified criticism and feedback they instead play up the 15+ people who IM’d them to drink bleach and throw it up as “an example of the ever present toxic gaming community”.

More or less, the substance to this article is their “apology”, and I use that term very loosely but I’ll get to that, to the community at large for the recent events. The post summarizes the issue from their (biased) perspective, posts some screenshots of the colourful responses they’ve received, the usual woe-is-me schtick.

I’d like to highlight a few bits from it to further exemplify the continued mindset of these people:

I have given the full context to this next statement with these screenshots so that I can now take parts of these statements out of their context to, at least to my belief, succinctly identify the mindset of these folks:

“I understand the relationship people think they might be owed when they exchanged money for goods or services, but...we’ve never actually sold them anything and don’t owe them anything at all.”

I don’t want to get off-topic any more than necessary, but this, this right here is why fundraisers, Kickstarters, GoFundMes, Patreon subscriptions, or any other form of crowdsourcing platforms need to be handled with extreme care. I hesitate to say regulated legally, but I am by no means opposed to that idea.

I want to express this carefully and plainly: LEGALLY, yes they are absolutely right that they do not owe anyone anything. At least to my knowledge, they didn’t have a formal Kickstarter, their financial backing came primarily from whatever it is they do for a living AND the support of their Patreon backers.

And while I do not feel that it needs addressing, for the sake of consistency I will address it: MORALLY they owe the game to anyone who financially supported them with the express purpose of developing the game.

“We definitely owe all of you who supported us, but also fuck off you entitled cunts because we don’t owe you shit.”

When in the face of well-deserved criticism, deflect deflect deflect. As if a broken record, I’d like to again emphasize that yes, legally they owe no one anything. Morally, they do. Legally, they don’t. Morally, yes. Legally, no.

This, in essence, is a response to the majority of people who are like me, who aren’t screaming vitriolic personable attacks, telling them to drink bleach, long jog off a short pier, the works. Essentially: “If you aren’t with us, then you’re against us.”

Because apparently pointing out your blatant mischaracterisation of the gaming community, your outrageously awful personal relations skills, and most especially your morally bankrupt understanding of the relationship between you and the people financially supporting your passion project means we are, by their logic, on a level equivalent in nature to the 10+ people telling them to drink bleach.

Fixed for typos:

Remember how I said this was an “apology” in the loosest form, well what I was referring to was how in the beginning during their (totally unbiased) summary of the events, they more or less said “Sorry you didn’t respond the way we wanted you to.” Beyond that, yeah, it’s not an apology.

And why would we expect one? Nothing they have spat out in the face of their fans so far has even a hint of self-realization or self-reflection in it. Even their acknowledgement of their (horrendously under exaggerated) bad PR skills comes across as a hollow acknowledgement, if it can even be referred to as an acknowledgement at all, because if you truly truly acknowledged it, then this post wouldn’t exist.

As to this anti-Semitic fabrication making the rounds, I have not seen it so I will take their word for it that they did not make one, especially since I have seen fabricated evidence involving Discord messages rearranged out of order. What I feel needs addressing specifically in this chunk though is his reference to “my messages taken out of context to insinuate I don’t care about our patrons/fans”, because if you’ve seen my previous post then you’ll know no amount of context makes this statement look good:

Sure, it’s a true statement of fact now that they have Epic’s money, but it’s fairly obvious that it reads “We have Epic’s money now, we don’t need you anymore.” I’m sure they didn’t mean that, but that when combined with their other statements regarding how they don’t owe their patrons anything, what they are saying is clear as day.

But hey, credit where credit is due, at least with this we can agree:

But of course, as these people are now infamously known for not ending their posts where they reasonably should...

Now I know how much money goodwill, faith, and morals make, and again I would fully expect this kind of response from the likes of EA, Ubisoft, Bethesda, or fuck even Amazon or Facebook to show that corporate greed has no industry bounds, but this is a two person team whose passion project is to make this game which is being financially supported by loyal fans and future customers.

And that’s just it, that is the mind-boggling part to me, that this is all just the self-important, mischaracterising, morally bankrupt, and childishly ignorant ramblings of a small little husband and wife duo.

In summary...

As was said in the blog post, I’m sure that looking from the outside in we don’t get to see the full scope of the vitriolic comments they’re receiving, so to that I give them credit, and the most sincerest of apologies. I’ve received a few death threats and vitriolic hate-filed messages in my time on the internet, and while personally I am unphase by them, I can fully understand that it can be damaging to one’s self-esteem and self-confidence, especially when it comes in relation to your passion project. I am sorry.

But unwarranted, hate-filled, vitriolic, suicide-baiting messages do not invalid those of us criticizing you for the things that you did do, the words that you did say, and the actions that you did take. I mentioned this in my previous post, but as it stands, the centerpiece to this issue isn’t even about the Epic Exclusivity Deal anymore, it’s about you. You and your treatment, of not just the community at large (for which, might I add, is your primary customer base), but of your treatment towards your loyal fans and financial supporters along the way.

You, for whatever reason, act as most of us have come to expect a soulless and faceless triple-A publisher would, when in fact you are just a two person team with public faces. You’re taking the shots that the likes of EA, Activision, or Bethesda would and have taken, but you’re forgetting that it is above and beyond easier to find you then it is to find them.

All we, but more importantly your fans want from you is for you to make the best game that we all know you’re capable of. And for those who supported you this far along the way to be given even an ounce of respect, despite you not needing their support anymore.

[moonlightxarcher]

Selene’s Log, Day Four

Update, 8:05 am.

“Bzzzzt, Roto Dex here! Soooo, Selene, you slept in last night. I wazz almozzt expecting you to be up an’ at ‘em at 6:00 am or something!” The Dex cracks a cheeky mechanical laugh, capturing the gentle half smile the researcher gives him in return.

“I merely wished to rest before my battle, Roto-san. It is important to get sleep in these moments before a difficult encounter.” A difficult encounter that was soon approaching. “Now, I believe Captain Ilima said this Verdant Cavern was just toward the back of Route 2? Can you see him, Roto-san?” Roto floats to her side, his camera picking up the winding paths before settling on a small nook opposite the Pokemon Center. Zooming in closer, he can see a small figure waiting by the entrance. “Yup! Got ‘im!” He salutes his partner, cracking another cheeky grin. “Man, I’m really excited for thizz! Your first Island Trial, it’s gonna be huge! You got a plan all ready?”

“Yes,” she nods calmly, her eyes closing for a moment, “I have outfitted my teammates with useful items and have prepared each of them for their roles. But I am counting on Lupa the most for this one. Whatever we face, I fear it may have strong physical attacks. That would mean her Fur Coat Ability would be largely beneficial to us.”

The two close in on Ilima, and it is not long before Dr. Selene Berlitz starts her first leg of the Island Challenge with Captain Ilima’s Normal Trial.

---

“Montage time!” Roto chuckles as the footage begins playing out on his screen of a brief conversation between Selene and Ilima, where he informs her that she must find and battle a number of Alolan Rattata before making her way to the far back of the cave and collecting a crystal embedded in the pedestal. The scene shifts to her exploring the cave, her voice muted by the rapidly rising background music that the Dex was playing. “Selene really had this tracking stuff down to a science! She could distinguish the Yungoozz denzz from the Rattata denzz with just a single look! But then those nazzty Team Skull guyzz tried to get in her way-” The screen cuts to a pair of Grunts trying to impede her progress, only to unintentionally allow her to track down and defeat an Alolan Raticate, which sends the goons running off in terror.

“Yeahh! Run away ya gooberzz!” the Roto in the video calls out to them, his waving red appendages falling in and out of frame. 

“With that, she was able to make her way through the cave eazzily, and soon found herzzelf up againzzt an abzzolutely mazzive Alolan Raticate! Thizz wazz the fearzzome Totem Pokemon, oversized Pokemon flowing with extreme power! It wazz a heck of a foe, I’ll tell ya that! I thought I’d be snapped in half with just one Bite attack! But Selene was prepared.” His camera pans around toward Selene, pulling a small blue capsule from her pocket and a red and white ball off her belt. She pops the top off the capsule and tosses the Pokeball forward, releasing Furfrou in a brilliant flash. The regal white dog is adorned with a fashionable scarf, a Silk Scarf that raises the power of Normal moves. She thrusts the capsule forward, flinging a small pill toward the Normal Type, who deftly catches it in her mouth and swallows. 

“She used that X Defenzze on Furfrou to make sure she could weather more hitzz. It was a geniuzz move! Without it, she certainly would have had some trouble.” Roto shivers as the footage plays out, the two exchanging blows briefly before a smaller Alolan Rattata appears, slamming into Furfrou’s side and bouncing off it. “Even though it had extra help, Lupa still kicked that Totem’zz butt!” He cheers, pom poms flashing on the screen. The clip continues, with Lupa beating on the Raticate and enduring attacks from both ends. At some point, Selene darts in during the lull in attacks to personally apply a blast from a Super Potion, but it may not have even been needed, as moments later both the Alolan rats lay on the ground defeated.

“And so Selene won her firzzt Z-Crystal! Now she can put that Z-Ring to work.” The Dex’s screen continues to display Ilima congratulating her for her efforts, and the humble Totem offering a gift of her own- the young Rattata she had fought alongside. “The Totem Raticate wanted Selene to take care of her baby, and who could refuse an offer like that?” The little Alolan Rattata’s data flashes up on screen. 

Name: Ro

Gender: Female

Nature: Bold

Characteristic: Strong willed

“She seemed really amuzzed when naming her, talked about rodentzz of unusual size or somethin’ like that. I didn’t understand headzz or tailzz of it,” the Dex mutters in response, his screen showing an emoji of a blue face scratching its head with a questioning gaze. “We ran into those futuristic lookin’ people again, and I gotta say they need to work on their greeting. Ya say ‘Alola’ while moving your armzz in a circle, not in a square!” The Dex huffs, somehow offended. “Anyway, the female one introducezz herzzelf azz Soliera and the male introducezz himzzelf as Phyco. They seemed pretty interezzted in Selene and what she wazz doin’, but I don’t know if we could truzzt them quite yet.”

The next scene plays out, with Kukui nearly bumping into Selene as she exists the cave- and he comes bearing bad news. Lillie’s missing!

“Profezzor Kukui said something about mizzplacing her around Route 3, so he wazz hoping that Selene would help him. After everything that had happened with lazzt night, she definitely wanted to help, I know I did.” The scene follows on with Selene traversing the winding rocky terrain, unfamiliar to her. But not to the local Pokemon. “So Selene getzz this great idea to have one of the local Pokemon help, and she findzz thizz Cutiefly that she challengezz to a battle and capturezz quite artfully!” And that Cutiefly’s data flashes on screen.

Name: Bylii

Gender: Female

Nature: Naughty

Characteristic: Sturdy body

“Though the crafty bug leadzz uzz on a bit of a winding path, she does direct uzz toward a secluded area where a lot of people end up when they get lozzt on Route 3, Melemele Meadow. That’s where we found Lillie!” The scene shifts to the girl in question, frantically looking between her bag and the yellow flowers. 

“Nebby, where are you,” she mutters to herself, gasping when she’s spotted by Selene. “You think you can help me find her again?” she asks the researcher, her big eyes wracked with worry. “I’m so sorry for being such a burden to you...”

“You are far from a burden,” Selene answers, already starting to walk away. “You are a precious friend, Lillie-san. I will not rest until Nebby is found.” 

“It’zz there that Selene getzz the aide of another local Pokemon, thizz time a kind little Petilil that wazz more than willing to show them placezz that Pokemon like to hide.” The data for that Pokemon flashes on screen too.

 Name: Lili

Gender: Female

Nature: Mild

Characteristic: Scatters things often

“That’s what brought us to the Seaward Cave, accezzed through a tiny hole that Selene could barely fit through crawling on her handzz and kneezz. It was cold and dark in there, so it’zz good that Selene’zz so uzzed to Sinnohan temperaturezz,” the Dex tries to crack a joke, but the humor falls a little flat. His normally cheery voice falls a little low and somber. “Something... Something happened in there. I’ll... I’ll show you what I can.”

---

Update, 3:28 pm.

“Anything yet, Carmilla?” The researcher calls out to her Zubat, flapping a foot or so ahead of them in the dark cave, guided only by the thin beam of light projected by the Dex’s flashlight eyes. The blue bat lets out a low cry- negative. Deeper and deeper they wander, relying on what little natural light was there and the young Zubat’s abilities before they found the cavern floor below them start to shake and sunder, cracks lining the walls and shattering small rocks-

“Izz it an earthquake?” the Dex guesses, frantically clinging to Selene’s back in an attempt to keep himself protected, his screen briefly darkened by the fabric of her shirt before she pulls him off. 

“It might be,” she mutters, the Rotom’s light casting a dull glare over her bang-covered face. “We must keep moving.”

Smaller quakes rock the group occasionally, but they keep advancing onward. That is, until they reach a rather deep, narrow part of the cave, hearing a rumbling roar. “A wild Pokemon?” Selene wonders aloud, but she is soon caught off guard by another vigorous quake, even stronger than the first. It nearly sends her to her knees, the Dex clinging to her shoulder in a meager attempt to keep her up-

And just as the quake seems to let up, Carmilla swoops down and slashes with her wings, blowing a gust of air hard enough to topple Selene back- narrowly avoiding a rock that would have crushed her. Another falls and cracks the ground just a foot away from Rotom. Another drops further away. “A rock slide!” Selene calls out, but the tumbling earth ranging in size from pebbles to boulders start to rain down, blocking off their path forward. The gang scrambles down the wayb they came, but just as it seemed like they’d reach the entrance to this narrowed tunnel, the way out crumbles before them. Quite nearly punching the very stone blocking them, Selene tries to keep her cool-

Only to hear the feeble cry of a Zubat, her left side crushed below a rock more than twice her size. 

“Carmilla!” Displaying the most emotion Rotom had ever seen on her normally impassive face, the girl that he suddenly remembers is only 13 years old frantically tries to free her partner, to no avail. Her cry of anguish rises like an ancient hymn as she struggles to budge the rock even a bit. 

One of the balls on her belt bursts open, revealing Strix the Rowlet. She releases waves of sharp leaves at the rock, but all they do is scuff the surface. Leafage just isn’t enough. “Please!” Selene calls out, “S-Someone get help!” She rounds on the Dex. “Roto-san, can you call someone? Do you have that function?” There is panic in her eyes, the normally calm oceans darkened like the beginnings of a storm. 

The Dex nods, “I’ll do what I can, Selene-” Only for a stray rock to fall and crack his screen, sending him hurdling to the ground. 

“Roto-san!” The panicked cry of a young girl in over her head is the last thing the Dex could pick up before the recording died. 

[bettsfic]

feel free to ignore this if you're too busy atm but i seem to remember you did psych for undergrad and i finished mine last year and i feel unqualified when i look at job applications? i feel im lying to potential employers all the time like SURE I CAN DO THAT but all i have is a psych degree and an unrelated internship that i never had to apply for and i was wondering if you have any advice on how to approach hunting for an entry level job with this kind of background based on your experience?

first of all, degree aside, when you’re looking for a job, you need to be selling yourself, even if you twist the truth. anything you can’t do, you can google. anything you suck at, it doesn’t matter, they’ve already hired you, no going back now. unless you have some kind of high-stakes gig where people’s lives are on the line, you don’t have to be good at your job, you just have to show up. and if there’s one thing a degree in psych teaches you how to do, it’s show up.

when securing a job, it’s important not to think “in what way can i be good for this job?” but “in what way will this job be good for me?” be selfish. if you go into an office job thinking “i’m not qualified for this” you’re going to get trampled over. people will see your insecurity and your youth your desire to be good and helpful and leverage it to their gain. in an interview, approach it outright as “here’s why this job is a good fit for me” and explain how it works nto your existing skillset. 

which brings me to the degree stuff. 

first of all, any bachelors degree will give you certain experience. i’ll give you the things i use on my resume, but you can also come up with stuff on your own by asking yourself, what’s changed? college is a place that blasts you with information for 4+ years. it expands your worldview exponentially. so who were you going into college and who are you now? in what ways have you grown? make a list just for your own purposes and there you go, that’s the skillset college has afforded you.

which brings me to my first point: critical/analytical thinking. a college degree teaches you how to think. it’s the entire function of humanities/social science undergraduate degrees. critical thinking is when you can take new knowledge, and rather than reject it, you apply it. find where it belongs in your greater understanding of life the universe and everything, and slot it in. boom. now you see the world differently. now you can take that small piece of knowledge and extract bigger meaning from it. you can take what you learn from place A, which may have nothing to do with anything, and apply it to place B.

in any job, this is extremely important. it means that you won’t just take the pile of work handed to you, you won’t sit at a conference table listening passively. it means you’ll ask good questions, make connections, and see the bigger picture of the work you’re doing. you’ll problem-solve and make processes more efficient (although this once bit me in the ass really badly and i got demoted. in the interview process, you want to make it look like you’re an angel ascending into their workplace, ready to fix all their shitty old broken processes with your bright young promising mind). 

a bachelors degree also gives you time management skills and shows that you are internally motivated. no matter how compulsory your degree felt, at the end of the day, you chose to go to college. you didn’t have to, but you did it anyway. you pursued a subject that was interesting to you for the sake of your own betterment and education. that says good things about you. it says that you have higher priorities than just bringing home a paycheck. and because you dedicated four years of your life to this study completely of your own volition, and graduated no less, it also shows that you’re capable of managing your own time without being babysat or micromanaged. you took all your due dates and exams and you showed up on time and prepared. in most entry level jobs, the ability to show up on time and prepared is 99% of what they are looking for.

so, now for psych-specific skills:

the most helpful skill i got from the psych part of my degree was the ability to build experiments (this would be your research methods class maybe). on a big picture, this is problem solving but it’s also project management and successful implementation. to build an experiment is to take a hypothesis -- to ask a big question of the world -- and develop a way to test that hypothesis -- to find an answer to it. working backwards to achieve a desired result is one of the most challenging things about psychology. in an entry level job, you’ll have to do it all the time. someone might hand you something to do, and you go “i don’t know how to do this” and they say “figure it out.” you have a desired result, a task, and you have to work backwards -- research, find solutions, implement solutions -- in order to do the job you’re assigned. 

along with problem solving is research and data analysis. this is something you’ve probably done nonstop for the past 4 years. you go out and find answers to your questions, you use your critical thinking skills to better understand the big picture, you implement what you’ve learned, and you articulate it back out. along with this is effective written communication. if you have ever written a research paper, you are ten steps ahead of any baby boomer you’ll ever meet. 

think also about the work of statistics -- you take numbers. numbers! and you read them as words. you build an experiment and you analyze the results and you make conclusions from those results. ultimately, a psych degree teaches you how to make knowledge from questions. how fucking cool is that? these are skills that are applicable anywhere. these are skills you have inside you now that you just carry around all the time. you basically bleed the scientific method. 

you can ask a huge, all-consuming questions about humanity (which is in itself a skill -- to question, to be inquisitive, to perceive anything deeply enough to wonder about it) and you go out, research, experiment, collect findings, and find answers. you have the skillset to further our understanding of human nature. you make knowledge!! from nothing!! why wouldn’t an entry level job want someone who can do that? who can see the bigger picture of any situation or environment, inspect its problems, ask it hard questions, break it apart, and make it better? who can manage their time wisely and utilize their resources and communicate easily and effectively in any medium? your degree makes you a hard working, problem solving, critical thinking machine.

so go out and tell your potential future employers all the ways their company can suit your skills. 

[sinegardians]

(high school) freshman advice from an incoming sophomore :)

these are all tips and things i wish someone had told me before i started my freshman year. some i had to learn by myself, others were just little things that got me through my first year. that being said, this is all a matter of opinion. whatever works for you, do it!

go to freshman orientation! it honestly helped me get used to the school and they showed us where our halls and classes are, and our principals and teachers. we also did a lot of fun mini games and icebreakers that introduced a lot of new people even before school started. (plus, depending on your school, there might even be a dance after, which is always fun;))

have your schedule and times of class periods as your phones screensaver for the first weeks of school, or at least til you memorize it. it’ll help you get to classes on time even if you take a potty break during passing periods.

don’t be one of those people who walk, single file with friends, down the hallways. or even worse, stop in the middle of the halls and talk to friends. it’s annoying, and quick way for someone to yell at you.

don’t be afraid to ask upperclassmen for help, whether it’s about a subject you’re having trouble with, or finding your classes. they’re not as scary as you think, and they’ll understand.

join clubs and extracurriculars! orchestra, band, theater, art, debate, yearbook club, photography etc. whatever interests you. it’s a great way to make new friends and interests. don’t be afraid to try out for clubs because you don’t think you’ll make it. if you make it? great! good job. if you don’t? great! there’s always next year and it’ll give you more time to learn and practice.

GO TO FOOTBALL GAMES!!!!! LEARN YOUR SCHOOL CHANTS AND SONGS !!!!! a lot of my best freshman memories took place in football games. even if you’re not necessarily interested in the sport, yelling and cheering along with your school and the band is a nice reliever. if you don’t know your school chants/fight songs, they’re usually posted in your schools website, or you can ask a teacher/upperclassmen where you can learn it. you don’t have to go to every game, buuuuuuttt... HOMECOMING AND RIVALRY GAMES ARE THE BEST GAMES TO GO TO!

i’ve had to learn this the hard way, but DO NOT slack off freshman year, especially if you want to go to an out-of-state college. trust me, i slacked off hard freshman year, and my gpa and class rank plummeted. it’ll only get harder to bring it up, so do yourself a favor and start high school off strong, junior year you will thank you for it.

most of the time, teachers will allow you extra time for assignments and projects if you ask them one-on-one. just be nice and remember your manners. “im sorry but i have a band trip and i won’t have time” or “theater rehearsals are this week and my schedule is gonna be packed from other classes.” works fine.

if you have a teacher that doesn’t teach very well (it’ll happen) or you just have trouble learning that way, find another way to learn. for me, i audio record classes i have trouble in so i can go back and listen. you can also learn from videos on youtube. (khan academy, crash course, the amoeba sisters)

go to dances and banquets! they’re a lot of fun and you don’t have to go with a date. go with friends! go with parents! (it’s still cool to go to dances with parents, a lot of people do it don’t worry), or go by yourself!

it’s okay if the friends you’ve always had, start drifting off. high school is big and it’s normal. you can always keep in touch through social media, but don’t be afraid to make new friendships.

^^^^^ make some friends with sophomores or upperclassmen. i had a lot of sophomore friends during my freshman year, and they made high school a lot more fun. in my school, everyone could eat lunch off campus except freshman. but i didn’t mind as much cause my upperclassmen friends bought me food ;)

on the topics of friends, be open minded when meeting new people, you never know who is gonna end up being the person getting you through high school, so be nice and don’t be afraid of making friends who are different than you other friends.

everyone else might be in a relationship, but it’s not that important. spend more time exploring and getting used to high school (you are spending four years here after all) than looking for a possible partner. in my experience, i don’t really think a lot of people are ready for long term relationships at 14/15, and it’d be better to train your focus at other things. save dating for later.

DON’T !!! FORGET !!! YOUR !!! CHARGERS !!! AND !!! EARBUDS !!!

don’t forget to eat breakfast. you’ll need it.

if you’re doing a project/essay, use scholar.google.com much more reliable and useful information.

if your school blocks social media apps on school wifi and you can’t use your data, download a vpn app. all you have to do is download, log on to your school wifi like usual, and then turn the vpn app on, and you can get on whatever apps, no payment required. don’t abuse it though, stay focused during class and avoid using your phone too much.

it’s okay to ask your friends for answers to homework every now and then, but don’t make a habit of it. it not only will start to annoy your friends, but you’ll get too used to it and start depending on them for work.

talk to your councilors when you need to. whether it’s about your mental health, or if your schedule is just too much for you, their job is to make their their students have the best opportunities and health. (if your school is big and the councilors don’t have time (it’s okay, it happens) talk to a trusted teacher).

bring a book always! even if you have your phone, it’s always comforting to have a book in you backpack at all times.

be confident. even when it’s hard and you don’t know anyone and you’re scared. you’ll learn how to smile without it feeling forced. it takes time.

above all, have fun. high school will either go by fast, or slow. make the most of it, okay? you’re spending four years in the same building with the same people. you’ll get used to them, they’ll get used to you. just remember that whatever goals you want to achieve, valedictorian, salutatorian, first chair, whatever. i believe in you :) and i hope you believe in yourself. stop fantasizing about your success and run to it! even if there’s no way, and there’s hundreds of thousands of obstacles, break them all down until you become the person freshman-you would look up to.

[littlebitoffanfic]

A Marital Bed System

Fandom: Star wars Character: Hux Relationship: Hux/reader Request: I really enjoyed binging on all your hux x readers. Could you write me one where hux keeps leaving in the middle of the night to work. Make it super angsty but happy ending? When you woke up, you immediately knew your bed was empty. You didn’t even need to open your eyes to know. Sitting up, you stretch, allowing the sheet to fall from your body as you moved out of bed to grab a dressing gown and head into the next room of the small apartment. Still no sign of Hux, meaning he must be in his office just down the corridor. It was both an advantage to have his place of work so close but it was also a nightmare since Hux struggled to leave his work at the door when he came back. Knowing there wouldn’t be anyone about anyway, you decided just to go to him in your nightgown and robe. It covered your dignity anyway so even if someone did see you, there wouldn’t be an issue. your bare feet padded along the hallway before you came to the door of his office. You didn’t even knock, just walked straight in. It was a benefit of being the wife of the general. The second you entered, you heard a curse from within. “Damn.” Hux hissed, looking up from desk which had papers scattered across it as well as 3 screens projecting data onto the wall beside him. “Sorry to bother you.” You frowned, annoyed by his reaction to you entering the room. “I hoped you wouldn’t wake.” He shook his head, standing straight and looking at you. “Will you come back to bed any time soon?” You asked, wrapping your arms around yourself, the office a lot cooler than the rest of the ship. “i…”He trails off before looking away from you. “Probably not.” signing, you couldn’t hide your disappointment as your shoulders slouched. You couldn’t look at him anymore. This was the 10th time in 2 weeks you had woken up on your own. While you understood he was in a high position and respected that he had a mighty weight on his shoulders, you missed him. Over the last 2 years especially, he had become so demanded by his work, you barely saw him. He did make time for you, but it really wasn’t enough. You could tell he felt guilty about it and you knew he wanted more time with you, but he couldn’t give it to you. No one could doubt he loved you, and you knew he did all this for you as well as himself. But that didn’t make it any easier. You knew today had been hard for him. The supreme leader had been rather… ‘displeased’ by his work. This had result in him being thrown across the room like a ragdoll. You had been there but couldn’t do anything. Hux had been distance from you all day after that incident. You had just assumed his pride had been hurt. blinking back tears, you walk up to his desk and pick up his data pad. Hux saw your eyes watering. “[y/n], I am truly sorry.” He sounded genuine and you smiled despite your tears as you punched something into his data pad. “I know.” You look up and him and pass him back his data pad, showing an order for coffee and something to eat to his office. “Just make sure you get some sleep, darling.” You turned around and walked out the office, leaving Hux stunned. once you got back to your quarters, you pressed yourself against the wall and cried. Covering your mouth with your hand, you tried to silence the gasps for air and cries but couldn’t. You knew you weren’t going to get back to sleep without crying yourself to sleep and that didn’t sound too appealing right now, then your data pad light up from the table. Walking over, you saw a message from Hux. “do you wish to leave?” frowning, you felt a small rage brew inside you. Was he really trying to start a fight with you over messages? Especially when he was in the room just along the hallway. throwing down your data pad, you stormed out the room, anger now taking over your sadness as you threw open the door to his office. but then you heard a sniff and saw Hux had collapsed in his chair, he held his head in his hands on the table and seemed to be weeping like a broken man. “Im sorry.” He whispered. “I cant. You deserve better than this.” He shook his head, refusing to look at you. All the anger melted away when you saw him like this. He was a hard man to break, and even after 15 years of marriage, you had barley seen him cry. and never like such a broken man. “If you wish to leave, I wont begrudge you. I never deserved you. You should never have married me. You should have found a man who could give you everything.” He shook his head in his hands, growling more to himself than to you. That was when you noticed the drinks cabinet was open. While Hux did handle his alcohol well in a normal situation, when he was stressed and turned to drink it was different. All his deepest fears came out, all his darkest secret, every emotion he tried to conceal left his lips as alcohol entered. “I did.” Was all you said as you walked around the desk and leaned over the back of his chair, wrapping your arms around him. But he pushed back the chair, pushing you away as he stood and moved quickly for the drink. “No, you didn’t. im not a man at all.” He took a deep swig of the drink straight from the bottle. His hands were shaking as he did so. “No man lets his wife sleep alone. Or cry. Because he cant get a damn thing right.” you jumped as he threw the bottle across the room and it smashed on the opposite wall. His hunched over, breathing deeply while shaking and swaying on the spot. “you deserve better.” Hux whispered. You couldn’t take much more of this. Tears were running down your cheek and you wanted nothing more than for this to be over. You hated seeing him in such a desperate and depressed state. You did the only thing you could think of. The only thing that seemed to fix everything so far. Darting around him, you pressed your lips to his before he could protest. Unlike before, he wasn’t able to just pull away from your lips. He never could. His hands grabbed you by the waist and help you against his chest, tightly like he was afraid of loosing you. And he was. He was more than aware that if the supreme leader demanded it, you could be taken from him, shipped away to only see him on occasions. If he didn’t get his act together, it was a very real possibility. He couldn’t imagine his life without you anymore. You were the one constantly good thing. And yet, he didn’t want this sort of life for you. He knew you didn’t like spending every breathing moment on this ship, but you never begrudged him, never complained. You didn’t complain about the crap canteen food you survived on, nor the lack of interactions with your friends and family. You just smiled and said you were grateful he was here with you. One night, that’s all you had wanted from him. One single night to remain in your quarters. And he was unable to give it to you. he could afford anything. He could get you any gadget or jewellery you wanted. Hell, he could even get you your own ship which you could use for traveling in. but you never asked for anything, just his presents. Hux swayed against you, his mind racing. He could get you a little ship, one which you could use to go see your family and friends when needed. He was sure the supreme leader wouldn’t care if he was able to secure it so it could be tracked by the first order and monitored so no one would attack or hack it. And as for his attention, he knew that he could take some time off. Even just a couple of days. You’d enjoy that. You felt Hux relax considerably during the kiss, making you relax in turn. Soon the kiss had turned from desperate to passionate but calm. You pulled away for air, your cheeks a little pink from the kiss. “I think you should come back to bed. Just for a little while.” You smile as you run your fingers of his cheeks before fixing his hair. All hux is able to do is nod as you take his hand in your and lead him out of the office, glad to leave the place that had all his alcohol. You thought about the coffee and food you had ordered, but you knew if he wasn’t in the office, they would leave it on the table. You could deal with that tomorrow and if he went back to work in a few hours, he would have something at lease. Once back in your room, you took off your dressing gown and then moved to him. He had been known to sleep in shirts and trousers before, but you knew he didn’t like when the shirt was buttoned up. Your fingers un did all the buttons before you leaned in and pressed soft kisses along his collar bone and then up his neck. Hux wrapped his arms lazily around you as he did so. The cool and fresh air in the apartment sobering him a little more. “I do love you, you know that right?” He speaks in a low and tired voice as you pull away to look up at him. “I know. And I love you.” You smile, even after 15 years of marriage, a confession of love still meant the world to you. Pulling him to bed, he wrapped himself around you once you were both under the covered. You smiled, lazily draping your arm over his torso to run your fingertip up and down his back. “I think-“ You started, drawing his attention down to you. “-that we should have a system.” “What sort of system?” Hux couldn’t help but chuckle at your suggestion. “well, you’re only allowed to leave here 3 times a week after we go to bed. And if you only leave 2 times, your allotted time can be transferred to the next week. So you can bank time in case you have a busy week.” You look up to him for approvable but saw a soft smile on his lips as he stared lovingly down at you. “and what would this system be called?” he asked, humouring you but liking the idea. He always did work best with restrictions, so something like that might help him manage things better. “the Marital Bed System. Or MBS for short.” You giggle. “my dear, I do not deserve you.” He whispers as he presses a kiss to your forehead. “Perhaps not, but you need me.” You quip, making Hux let out a laugh. “Truer words have never been spoke.” Hux yawns as he closes his eyes, falling asleep with you in his arms as it should be.