#this might be the straw that breaks the camels back. maybe i don’t want to know anything about motorsport actually.

[dear-ao3]

no no cause hold on Who goes through a scathing media day having the most insane fight seen in potentially years that results in all kinds of weird shit being dragged up with another driver because you essentially called him a two faced bitch for saying you deserved a penalty, a penalty which didn’t even affect the outcome of the race and was also objectively stupid, the driver in question being not only the union director trying to actively get your ass out of community service for saying fuck but also not even someone you’re in a title fight with remotely, mostly because you’ve already won the title and the other guys car is a shit box, which then sparks both of your team principals to go at eachother which they’ve been frothing at the mouth wanting to do for potentially years, all before attending the driver end of year dinner and sitting on the exact opposite side of the table as the guy you’re having beef with then commenting the 🥩 emoji under yet another drivers post saying oh don’t worry the two you’re thinking of were at opposite ends of the table lol and then thinks, in the middle of all this, which by the way is the last race of a season that is not only the longest in history but also one where you were not dominant and won the world title literally with a rear wing that was angle grindered in the garage cause it sucked that bad, and in the midst of continued heated debates over whether or not you yourself are going to retire before your contract is up and also about who your teammate is going to be for the foreseeable future “yeah. this is the perfect time to announce that i am going to be a father.”

[free-boundsoul]

I keep thinking about the ea

I have a few thoughts. Pre warning I shoulda been in bed 2 hours ago so imma little loopy

Im picking up early Gavin vibes from Porter, in the way that he's always mentioning his Empowered-ness to Treasure. Always reminding them that he is 'other'. (Maybe he's trying to maintain a boundary by reminding himself that they are unempowered and mortal and he doesn't have an eternity with him. And he doesn't want to bring them into it when he's afraid of losing his own life by stepping out of line)

"I said, no you don’t. You couldn’t possibly understand what this is like, you’re a human."

Oof Porter, this fucking stung. Also felt a bit...belittling? I think that's the word I'm thinking of. Which felt even worse when he compared their "problems" were mundane and his held so much more weight. (Which, in the grand scheme of things, is probably true. But we shouldn't weigh one thing over another. You never know what someone is going through. What they could be hiding. How their life is going and how close they are to the edge. How one wrong word or action could be the straw that breaks the camels back. Pain shouldn't be measured)

"Now that’s rich, coming from you. Tell me, have you ever taken more than a moment to think of the chain of events that has led to us standing here in this room together? The kind of internal tumult that has led you here into the arms of a total stranger, inconceivably vast power imbalance and all? And you think I’m the only one who needs help? You think you have a leg to stand on telling me that I need to work on myself while being completely blind to your own issues? Those are some beautiful stones you’ve been throwing in this glass house, wherever did you get them? God. When I want to be false-therapized and patronized by a hypocrite, I’ll let you know."

My first thought (after the pain that sparked in my chest at this dig) was that what if Treasure is going to therapy? Trying to better themselves after meeting Porter because he was right. Their friends did take advantage of them and they had been too scared to talk about it, confront them. They wanted to be better for him but was scared to admit that they were going to therapy because of things they heard growing up. That therapy was a weakness or a waste of money. It was only for crazy people or people who had trauma and their life wasn't so bad.

They can see that Porter is suffering. He needs a healthy outlet. And communication is key to any relationship. They didn't communicate well enough to their friends, so they want to communicate with Porter, be there for him like no one was for them until him.

But they're only human, and they're new to this and they can't help but feel frustrated. They say things they regret. It's a folly of being a person.

"What’s that? Say it with your full chest, Treasure. If you want the words to hurt, you have to say it like you mean them. No no, come on now. Say it. Spit it. Let’s be honest with each other for once, all the way. Good. And now, in return: I’m not the only coward in this room. If you think for one second that what we have here isn’t both of us running away, then you need to turn that appraising gaze inward for a bit. If I’m avoidant, then my god, what does that make you?"

Im sorry but my only thought with this was imagining Porter lightly holding their throat, fingers pressing lightly enough for them to feel it as he leans in close. His breath ghosting their cheek as he keeps those silver eyes, swirling with frustration and pain, locked on theirs.

"So if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go figure out what I need to do to save a few dozen lives, if not multiple Houses. I’ll leave you to solve whatever your equivalent conundrum would be, like… should you actually do your laundry tonight or just push the pile farther over on the bed? Again? Good night."

Of course he had to get the last words in and they are scathing.

Now, I keep thinking about how Treasure might react and there are too many options.

Treasure fixating on the fact that because they are human, they aren't enough to be in a relationship with Porter. Maybe they go to Wonderworld to see if anyone there would turn them?

Treasure distancing themselves from Porter. If their problems are so mundane, they won't talk about them. Whenever Porter asks how their day was it just becomes "Oh, it was fine. Nothing interesting happened." No matter if the day was joyous or frustrating or even devastating. Their 'human' worries can't compare to all that Porter is going though, they shouldn't waste his time on them.

Treasure feeling like they're only a distraction that Porter picked up so he could momentarily forget what he does for his King. They wanted a relationship with him. But how could they be with him if they only have seen one side to him? Eventually people get bored of a distraction, right? How long would it take for Porter to lose interest and then he'd be gone?

Darkest turn would be if Treasure asked Porter to make them forget about the Empowered world. He was right, they were only human. They didn't belong in his life after all, leaving Porter to be the only one who remembered the time they spent together.

But I mean... it could always end up in angry make up sex too. 🤷‍♀️

[world-of-aus]

Alway's There

Pairing: Bestfriend!Bucky x Bestfriend!Reader

Warnings: A teeny sprinkle of angst. Sweet moments with Bucky Barnes.

Author's Note: My possibly poor attempt at returning to writing? Back to the abyss i go!

Another failed date. 

You trudged the stairs up to your apartment, heels in one hand, your shared key in the other. The feeling of disappointment looming over you like a dark cloud with each step up the flight of stairs you took closer to your landing. 

The self-deprecating part of your mind wrapped its clawed hand around your throat ‘maybe it is you’ it whispered harshly into your ear. And with each failed date, try as you may to shake the feeling you were beginning to believe maybe it was. 

 Tonight? The straw that broke the camel's back. 

Forcing yourself up the last step your bare feet hit the wooden landing of your floor carrying you the rest of the distance to your apartment door. You stop a foot away from the pristine white door letting out a silent breath of air, your eyes slipping shut as you let the disappointment of the evening wash over you. 

Maybe it was time to take a break you thought as you willed the feeling away, you knew your family and friends meant well but you weren’t sure you could bear another let down. You were growing tired of putting in your all only to be met with less of the effort you put in.  

“The night’s still young,” you told yourself as you slid your house key into the door unlocking it “the couch and a glass of wine is calling your name you -” your words fail you, your steps halting at the open threshold, hand frozen on the door as you take in the sight before you. 

Bucky stands by the couch, popcorn bowl in hand, his eyes sincere, smile warm and comforting, “there’s a glass of wine on the table for you,” he speaks softly, “wasn’t sure what movie you would want for the night, but it is your night to choose, go get comfortable,” he adds with a tilt of his head to the hallway where your rooms are, “I’ll be waiting.” 

“How did you?” is all you can manage as you push the door shut. 

He shakes his head, smile tugging at his lips ever so slightly, “I was hoping I would be wrong and that I would have to eat all this popcorn by myself; I know how much you were looking forward to this date – just wanted to have something ready for you in case it hadn’t gone to plan.” 

Your heels fall to the floor with a thud as you close the distance between you and your best friend your arms going around his neck. The comforting weight of his arm against your back has you letting out a shaky breath, “thank you.” He presses his lips to the side of your head, “no need to thank me you would have done the same for me sweetheart, now go get in your pj’s and you can tell me all about it.” 

“Jesus,” Bucky breathed, “He might as well have just gone on a date with his secretary, what the hell was he thinking talking about another women the whole night!” 

“That’s exactly how I felt!” you groaned grabbing a handful of popcorn, “and apparently nothing because no matter how I tried to redirect our conversation it was always ‘oh she loves that,’ or ‘oh that’s her favorite too.’ or ‘Oh what do you think about this, she thinks this.’” You shake your head, picking at the popcorn in your hand, “I just don’t get it, like is it me? Is something wrong with me? This is the fifth failed date this month.” 

“Hey, c’mon now don’t say that,” he comforts, hand finding your leg, “if anything’s wrong it’s the guys you’re going on dates with not being able to see what’s right in front of them sweetheart.  Maybe it’s time you try a different approach, these meatheads just don’t seem to be cutting it, you need someone who’s going to see you.” 

You see me, you think, your heart pattering away in your chest as you take in the broad man sat on the couch with you, the sweet words he shares, the night he put together in case it all went wrong. Why couldn’t it have been him? Why couldn’t he be yours?  

He squeezes your leg, concern in his gaze, “hey, what’s wrong?” 

You shake your head the gloomy feeling threatening to return, now was not the time to think of your best friend. “Nothing B, m’just tired is all, I’m fine though, I promise.” 

You know he doesn’t believe you when he plucks the bowl from between you leaning forward to place the bowl on the coffee table. He’s opening his arms to you a moment later fingers wiggling you to come closer, “c’mere,” he beckons. 

“Buck,” you laugh, “I said I’m fine.” 

His hands are on you, “you’ve never been able to lie to me, come here,” he chuckles pulling until your moving, molding into his warm embrace. His head rests over yours, hands running along your back comfortingly.  

“I really am fine, I  just think it's time to put the idea of finding someone right now on the back burner,” you murmur melting further into his side, “ I’m honestly tired of disappointment after disappointment, the only time I’m not disappointed is once I get home, which again thank you,” you say leaning back slightly to meet his gaze, “you didn’t have to but it means so much that you did this – that you thought of me.” 

“You’ve done the same for me y/n, every failed date you were right here sitting, waiting with chips and a beer ready to hear all about my night. Even the ones I thought went well only to never hear from them again you were right here.” 

“I swear those women were blind as bats to pass you up.” 

His chuckle rumbles in his chest, “feelings mutual sweetheart.” 

Your head finds his shoulder, his head falling over yours once more, “Hey should we adopt a cat?” 

“Adopt a cat?” he questions. 

“Yeah, so we can get started early,” you muse, your joke landing as you feel his laugh rumble against your side. 

“Yeah, yeah let’s adopt a cat.” he states matter of factly. 

You nearly knock him in the chin with how fast you move back to look at him, “wait really? We can really adopt a cat?” you gleam eyes bright. 

He laughs at your excitement, “Yes y/n, it’s a date, we can go adopt a cat.” 

Your breath catches in your throat, “a date,” you say tasting the words on your tongue. You’re not sure what to make of the expression on his features, your heart not allowing you to get your hopes up in fear of getting hurt. 

“Yes, a date, and hey If I mess it up, which something tells me that’s a long shot, at least I’ll know exactly how to remedy it.” 

Your heart pounds in your chest like a wild drum, you would swear you were dreaming if it weren’t for his very vivid warmth plastered against your side. “I don’t think you’ll need to,” is what you manage to say, because there was no way he could mess up when he’s been picking up everyone else’s failure. 

His smile is warm, you’ve never ached to kiss him more, “give me a few dates then you can decide yeah?” 

“A few dates?” you question, smile mirroring his own. 

“Yeah, let me be your different approach.” 

You grow shy under the intense sincerity of his gaze, your head finding his shoulder, as you breathed him in. “I’d really like that B,” you whisper after a moment. 

“I promise this won’t change the number of cats we adopt.” 

That has a fully belly laugh erupting past your lips, Bucky following suit as he pulls you closer.  

And it was in that moment that you realized you might already love him. 

[koopageneral]

INANIMATE INSANITY SEASON 2 EPISODE 15 SPOILERS. PLEAASE GO WATCH IT

Omgaaa I need to EXPLODE cuz of Taco’s Tirade. Gonna go on a rant analysing it prty much line-by-line so STRAP IN!! (Shout out to everyone who worked on this masterpiece omfg)

It starts off with what might be considered ‘normal�� Taco. Her making fun of the contestants. There is a little bit of hinting at her sympathy towards the contestants, although it’s incredibly shrouded in her mastermind facade. Calling them ‘pathetic’ and comparing them to blindly obedient dogs with ‘how they run to fetch their sticks.’

We get a little bit more with ‘Sure, call me polemic, unsympathetic.’ It shows how shes aware that she’s a problem, although at this point in the song it’s unclear to the audience whether she’s saying it in a way of ‘yeah call me it cuz it’s true, I don’t care.’ Or if it’s ‘call me these things, yeah, but I’m more than that.’

‘Look at me and all you see is the debris of some defective outcast.’ Feels like it’s getting into the meat of the song, and the episode as a whole, of how Taco has realized how she’s pushed everyone away for the sake of the game. The fact she has her arms tucked away during it gives another interesting interpretation, of it actually talking about before her big reveal, and how she was treated differently because she was, in her words, ‘defective.’

‘A frenetic, antithetic (if poetic) iconoclast.’ Frenetic means wild and energetic, probably, again, referring to her season 1 persona. Antithetic means opposite of something, and iconoclast means someone who attacks cherished institutions. This gets into her want to tear this entire show to the ground for the suffering it’s caused everyone.

‘I wont live in the past. I almost won this game once, you know.’ I’m just gonna parrot what @lemonxlimee said cuz they put it pretty succinctly with two words. Taco. Girl.

Then we get to the lines that got me started on this tirade (Pun intended.) ‘History is rearranged just to credit those who win the glory. So reality has changed in the edit when they spin the story.’ AUGH. Her fucking staring down at the hotel made of the money she spent SO HARD and lost SO MUCH to try and get. I. I want to scream about this. I don’t know how to put my thoughts on this line into fucking words.

‘And we choose to feel this pain.’ Going off the last line, Taco, out of almost anyone in the cast, knows how much you have to go through just to get a chance to win, which goes right into the next line.

‘We lose more than we gain.’ She lost Pickle. You might say that she didn’t actually care, but I’m not sure if I believe that. I feel like she might not have at first, and maybe even never when they actually were playing together. But you can’t convince me she doesn’t hate herself for using him on a plan that resulted in nothing. She also lost Mic, and it’s incredibly clear how much that affected her. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back, and showed her the flaws in this system.

‘I will break this cycle of mistakes unlike all of these snakes whom I call to condemn.’ She is fucking DETERMINED to make everyone see what they’ve sacrificed. She speaks with a level of contempt towards them, yes, but I feel like it’s more her projecting her feelings about the contest onto the contestants.

Then we’ve got MePad being best therapy boy. ‘You are incapable of starting over.’ She wants to be better. But she doesn’t feel worthy.

And then MePad’s slightly naive optimism with ‘I do not know who you lost, but is it not possible to get them back?’ He’s programmed to see the best in everyone. He wants things to work out. He doesn’t see how hard it might be to just make things better after a relationship exclusively built on lies.

This naivete is immediately contrasted by Taco’s all-encompassing pessimism. ‘Clear the slate, start again, do you hear how preposterous that sounds? How do you not comprehend that for someone with my monstrous background, the whole slate has fallen apart.’ To Taco, the bridges between her and Mic or Pickle are nothing but smoldering piles of rubble after all the pain she’s put them through.

This contrast is even more stark with the duet of ‘It’s too late’ and ‘It’s not too late.’ I don’t even know what to say about that, it’s pretty black and white.

For the duet, gonna go one character at a time for simplicity. Starting with Taco.

We see taco’s turmoiled feelings on whether she’s to blame, with ‘It’s not I, it’s they who deigned to play.’ Even after all of this internal conflict and deep personal realizations, there’s still a part of her that wants to cast the blame of the pain she’s caused onto the ones she’s hurt.

Another deflection she throws out is, honestly, probably more fair, if still not great. ‘This game, so cruel and inhumane, base and uncouth.’ This really gets into her main philosophy for the episode. She’s afraid to take responsibility, and pins the blame on the show for pitting everyone against one another. I want to make it clear, her point is incredibly valid. We see during THIS EPISODE how much it turns people against eachother. The challenge is entirely built around making the contestants spill their true feelings about each other, and using that to fuel drama. Suitcase literally has to choose between two people she cares about over who she’s bringing into the finals, pitting Baseball and Knife against eachother. While the show is ‘cruel and inhumane’, I don’t think that should just be a het out of jail free card for Taco. Yes, she did it because she felt there was no other choice to win, but she still did horrible things. She manipulated 2 people into actually believing she cared.

‘They’re too afraid to bear the bed they made, can’t bring themselves to face the awful truth.’ This is pretty much just her saying that the other contestants are too blind to see how much pain they’ve gone through to get to where they are.

NOW. Baby boy therapist, MePad.

‘You’re no menace, Taco, how did they hurt you?’ He agrees with Taco on the grounds of how much pain the contestants go through, but he’s just a little more concerned about the tact needed to show them. He knows that Taco wants to change, but she’s afraid to. He knows how much she wants to apologize to the people she’s hurt. He feels that there has to be something external she’s dealing with to have this level of spite in her, even if there isn’t, and all of her hate is towards herself.

‘Please think this through’ is pretty self explanatory. As I said, he agrees with Taco about her basic ideals, but feels like there are better ways to deal with the issue.

‘Feeling double crossed is part of dealing with the loss, yes, but the healing is a process, that’s the truth.’ He wants to see Taco get better, and he’s trying to get through to her about the fact that her feelings are entirely valid, but she has to, at some point, let go.

I also feel like the sound mixing is very purposeful. Taco’s voice rings through clearly, able to be heard without much difficulty. MePad’s vocals are softer, and a little quieter and harder to make out. Taco is so in her own head about the pain she’s gone through, she refuses to listen to any outside voice.

Then we get to Taco trying her best to cover up her emotions again and put on her mastermind persona with ‘I’m turning up the heat to sauté, I’ve some beef to get grilled. But I guarantee that today all the beans that get spilled won’t be mine.’ I love how this foreshadows the challenge, but doesn’t make it obvious.

We see one last crack in her facade in the penultimate ‘I’m fine.’ Again, the ‘mistake’ in this line feels incredibly purposeful. It’s incredibly pitchy and bad, to an almost ear-splitting level. Taco knows she isn’t actually okay at ALL, and has trouble telling such a blatant lie.

And then the last line, ‘now it’s time’, is her fully donning the mask once again, ready to expose the show for what it is.

ANYWAY. Uh. Thanks for reading all this bs. I fucking love this song so much, and I think Taco’s motivation in this episode is fascinating. Any comments or constructive criticism of my analysis is MORE than appreciated, hope you all have a wonderful day/night/whenever.

[bumblebeehug]

In The Heat Of The Moment

Summary: An answer to an interview is the straw that breaks the camel's, or in this case, Lucy's back. She has never been this angry with Natsu before - and he's never been this angry with her.

Warnings: No explicit content, but lots of swearing.

Notes: Sorry if this is a bit OOC lol, I got itchy fingers last year and wrote 90% of this fic in one go with no prior planning. Only got back to it now, but hey! It's finished!

Ao3

***

Lucy was so unbelievably fed up with Natsu. Even looking at him had her filled with an indescribable rage, practically making her fume. That stupid, idiot man! She had never felt this anger before, not even against a tough enemy she was facing during extra hard missions. No, no words could describe the resentment she felt towards Natsu, not even coming from her, a proper writer.

“You just don’t get it Natsu! God, can you please try to use that non-existent brain for once?” She yelled in despair, tears welling over in her eyes from the heartbreaking frustration building in her heart.

“No, I don’t get it Lucy! For fuck’s sake, why do you have to be such a pedantic bitch?” His big hand grabbed her collar, making it tighten up significantly.

Lucy wasn’t scared, she told herself, because being scared of the person she hated the most was not only unbelievably embarrassing, but also just way below her standards. So she fiercely bit down on her lip, partly to make the tears stop flooding, partly to throw the fire dragon slayer off guard.

Natsu’s usually kind onyx eyes looked like angry storms, showing her the most spiteful stare she had gotten in a very long time.

“Maybe I’m a pedantic bitch because I’ve always had to balance out your disgusting childish personality all the fucking time. Do you have any idea of what a menace you are, not only to me or this guild, but to society?” She hissed, no longer holding back the anger she felt. Natsu, out of everyone, was the last person she wanted to hear those comments from, because frankly - he was no better than her in this matter.

Natsu pursed his lips. He had never seen Lucy this upset, and frankly, he hadn’t felt this upset since, well, Igneel left him in the woods as a kid. It had all started a few weeks ago, when he had been interviewed for a double paged article in Sorcerer's Weekly. He had gotten the usual questions, except two or three out of the ordinary. He was asked about random things, like his favourite restaurant and his best picnic spot - all manageable questions, until it came to the last one.

“Why did you leave the guild before it disbanded?” Jason asked, his lock of hair wiggling in the wind. Natsu of course answered with the usual - he wanted to get stronger for the guild after dealing with Igneel’s death. Only, this time he was asked a follow up question.

“Did you ever worry about anyone while you were away? Anyone particularly?”

“Well…” He had answered, “I suppose I was a bit worried about my team, but in general I was worried about everyone. I think out of all of the guildmates I might be the most fired up to protect everyone. There’s no telling what type of trouble could come to Fairy Tail you know.” That sentence wasn’t the problem though. It was the one that came after that. “I told Lucy to tell everyone hi as I left, but she probably didn’t manage to do that since she let the guild disband.” An innocent sentence according to Natsu. He had just commented on the letter he had given her, and provided a clue on what he had written in it - nothing more, nothing less, right?

The rest of the day was quite peaceful, not even any guild brawls starting up in the evening. It could probably be described as the calm before the storm, he learned the following day.

“You told him I let the guild disband!?” Lucy yelled as she entered the guild by slamming up the doors.

It was still quite early in the morning, though a lot of members came in early on Thursdays, hoping to grab quick high paying jobs before the weekend. Every step Lucy took was loud as she stomped to the bar where Natsu sat and the guild got quiet enough for anyone to hear a pin drop. Lucy waved the copy of the magazine in front of her before slamming it down in front of Natsu, disrupting his otherwise quite calm breakfast.

“That you were worried about the protection of the guild, when you ran off with nothing but a letter!?”

“What- what are you talking about?” Natsu asked, confused over the sudden accusation - coming from his best friend nonetheless!

“I’m talking about the interview from yesterday! What on earth made you say something like that?” Lucy took a small step back and crossed her arms. Partly to calm herself from the initial shock, but also partly to hide the betrayal she felt.

Telling Jason, and the entire continent for that matter, that Lucy didn’t succeed at contacting their friends in the guild because she let it disband? It felt like a shot in the heart, because she really didn’t think Natsu would ever say such a thing. She was afraid of it, but she told herself she was being paranoid due to her issues with abandonment. Now she was watching her biggest fears come true and she felt conflicted whether she was meant to be furious or depressed over it.

Natsu stood up from his seat and tried putting his hand on her shoulder in an attempt to soothe her. Not pleased with his half-assed apology, Lucy immediately shook him off.

“I don’t know what to say… I didn’t think he would write it down so literally I guess?”

He still didn’t understand where her anger was coming from. He had really just told Jason some things that he usually didn’t talk about—like his letter to Lucy and how he truly felt when he and Happy left to train. If anything he felt a bit proud for opening up more.

“But you’re admitting that you said it?” She opened the spread in the magazine, to properly quote him. “‘I think out of all of the guildmates I might be the most fired up to protect everyone,’ it says, and wait - there’s more: ‘I told Lucy to tell everyone hi as I left, but she probably didn’t manage to do that since she let the guild disband.’ Do you agree that that is what you said?” She looked into his eyes, still wishing Jason misinterpreted what he actually said, though now fretting to hear the truth.

“Well… yeah I guess I did say exactly that. I don’t know what you want me to say,” Natsu said, not understanding why Lucy was being so dramatic over some words.

He usually found her endearing when she acted dramatic over things but now he was growing annoyed. He really didn’t like that she was getting mad at him for telling his truth to Sorcerer’s Weekly.

Lucy fought her quivering lip. He really said it. And it looked like he really thought so too. That it was Lucy’s fault that the Fairy Tail guild disbanded—not that she was the cause of it, but that she didn’t do anything to stop it. Even if it was true–she didn’t know what to do at the time, knowing that Natsu and Happy left her with only a short, quite poorly written letter, still healing both physically and emotionally from the war against Tartaros. She felt sick to her stomach hearing it from him.

“I’d like an apology,” she said, her voice shaking slightly as she forced herself not to cry. “I want you to apologise for blaming me for a situation that you ran away from. Say that you’re sorry.” She said it louder this time. She refused to put up with his unfair claims, and she knew she deserved an apology.

“Okay. I’m sorry for telling Jason my true feelings, but that’s just how I feel. Sorry if you don’t think you’re not at least partially responsible for letting the guild disband. But you know that if I were there I would never have let that happen.”

Natsu knew he was pulling the wrong strings here, but even if he never said it, the knowledge that the disbandment could have—no, would have been stopped if he was there was enough to feel like the rest of the guild hadn’t tried hard enough themselves. Frankly, putting all of that blame on Lucy was unfair and untrue and Natsu knew it, but it was hard to take back printed words.

“Oh I know you wouldn’t let it happen, because Natsu Dragneel is soooo much better than everyone else here, right? No, fuck that Natsu. Because you. Weren’t. There. Alright?” Lucy clenched her teeth as she said it.

”You have no right telling us how little we tried to keep the guild together. You have no right to talk like you’re the only one who cares about what happens to this guild, because out of everyone, you’ve proven to care the least about the guild! What’s that about being the ‘most fired up about protecting everyone’ huh? How can you protect people if you’re. Not. There!” Lucy poked Natsu harshly in the chest as she said the last three words, feeling her cheeks heat up in a growing rage.

She hadn’t originally wanted to bring up this event. In fact, she had practically laid awake every single night during that disbanded year, telling herself to forgive and forget as soon as possible. Because she knew no one’s circumstance was easy to deal with and sometimes obeying master Makarov’s order was the only thing you could do in a crisis like that. She had really, really, wanted to leave all of this behind her.

“Do you know what I went through in that war? Do you? I lost my dad, Lucy. I had to see him get murdered by Acnologia. You might not have liked your father, but for the longest time you still had one—you just chose not to see him and for what? Some childish anger about him working too hard and ‘neglecting’ you? I would have switched places with you in an instant if it meant I got to know my father was alive and well.” His voice gradually rose as he spoke, and simultaneously a pit grew in his stomach.

He hated this. He knew very well he wouldn’t actually want to switch places with Lucy, because he knew their situations weren’t comparable, but the more he spoke the harder it was to back down from his words.

“Don’t claim you’d want to switch places with me Natsu Dragneel. Don’t you even dare. Your childhood was great thanks to Igneel and mine was horrible because of my father. I know you wanted to get stronger to beat Acnologia, I understand wholeheartedly. I can even say that it was completely reasonable for you to leave me—to leave all of us, but I can’t let you think that you were the only one who lost a dear family member.” Lucy had run out of breath, but was quick to catch it again.

“Wendy, Gajeel, Sting and Rogue all lost their dragons, their parents as well, you know. And I lost a family member, Natsu. What’s worse is that I had to break our bond, I broke Aquarius’ key. She’s the only thing my mom left me and I had to give her up to save all of you. I would do it all again in a heartbeat for all of you but I might never find her key again and I have to live with the knowledge that I’m the reason we can’t see each other.” Her tears were dangerously close to overflowing, but she held them back.

“So don’t use Igneel as a shield for your shitty actions, Natsu. No one would have stopped you from training here, hell, no one would have stopped you from running away if you only talked to me first! But you left a letter with only chicken scratch on it, and you didn’t even try to get in contact with me while you were gone.” Lucy felt herself yelling at this point. She had to, otherwise she would’ve stopped mid-sentence as she saw Natsu’s face change from stoic and indifferent—maybe a little upset—to hurt. But now the ball was in Natsu’s court.

“I wrote you a fucking letter Lucy,” he hissed through his teeth, “that’s more than I did to anyone else. What more do you want, huh? A tiara, a horse, a castle maybe? Why do you think you’re so entitled to everything?”

He was reaching now and he knew it. Her coming from a rich family had nothing to do with this argument, but he knew he couldn’t say anything else to answer her about Igneel and Aquarius. Because she was right. He just hated that she was. He hated it because she knew how to talk about her feelings, and he didn’t, which is why he spent that year trying to get ahold of himself. And he hated that she knew him so well, but that she couldn’t figure that small thing out. That he regretted leaving more than anything else, that he regretted the letter he gave her, that he regretted not reaching out. He was acting cowardly, and out of everyone in the guild, he really thought that Lucy would understand.

Lucy however was getting fed up with how he was making this argument more personal than it already was. What more did she want than a letter? She had already told him that she wanted signs that he had at least tried to reach out, to show her that he didn’t completely abandon her. Lucy was so unbelievably fed up with Natsu at this point. That stupid, idiot man! No words could describe the resentment she felt towards Natsu, not even coming from her, a proper writer.

“You just don’t get it Natsu! God, can you PLEASE try to use that non-existing brain for once!?” She yelled in despair, tears welling over in her eyes from the heartbreaking frustration building in her heart.

“No, I don’t get it Lucy! For fucks sake, why do you have to be such a pedantic bitch?” He couldn’t stand her vague hints at what she wanted him to say. Why couldn’t she understand that he wanted real answers to his questions, not insults to his mental capacity. His big hand grabbed her collar, making it tighten up significantly. Lucy wasn’t scared, she told herself, because being scared of the person she hated the most at the moment was not only unbelievably embarrassing, but also just way below her standards. So she fiercely bit down on her lip, partly to make the tears stop flooding, partly to throw the fire dragon slayer off guard.

Natsu’s usually kind onyx eyes looked like angry storms, showing her the most spiteful stare she had gotten in a very long time.

“Maybe I’m a pedantic bitch because I’ve always had to balance out your disgusting childish personality all the fucking time. Do you have any idea of what a menace you are, not only to me or this guild, but to society?” She hissed, no longer holding back the anger she felt. If he wanted to make this fight about things that didn’t relate to that article, then she wouldn’t hold back. Natsu, out of everyone, was the last person she wanted to hear those comments from.

“I don’t give a fuck if you think I’m a menace to society or whatever because at least I manage to protect society from whatever dangers they face! I’m the one who saved the entire continent from fucking Acnologia, and what did you do in the meantime, huh?” He sneered, lifting her higher in the collar. His fists were itching to… not hit her, but hit something. Gray would have been a good target, but the wall was closer – he made a mental note.

“Believe it or not mister main character syndrome, I was helping beating Acnologia. In real life, and not just in whatever weird imaginary place you ended up in.” She was really reaching again. “You, however, always think I’m just some weak loser who can’t hold her own ground! As if I don’t save your butt every single mission due to your stupid recklessness!” Lucy wasn’t backing down despite feeling Natsu’s scolding hot breath against her face. “And no, I don’t care about how you claim to always act on instinct to protect your family, because it’s proper bullshit! You don’t get to act all high and mighty and great for this guild because your indecisiveness and pure weakness made you leave this guild to rot for an entire year. If you’re going to become this guild’s self proclaimed protector, then you’ve got to be here to protect it.” Lucy pulled away from Natsu’s grip, forcing some space between them.

“No, Lucy, you have no right to say that to me. It’s thanks to me we’ve survived almost every single danger the guild has faced. It’s thanks to me the guild won the Grand Magic Games - or wait, no it wasn’t! Because back then I was saving your ass from getting killed! So sorry for saving you and successfully protecting you all this time. I knew you were whiny, but I didn’t know you resented me for fixing your life. I brought you to this guild, you should be thanking me, not yelling at me for having my own life aside from you.”

“Would you just shut up!” Lucy’s voice cracked, and she quickly resented herself for saying that. “If you regret bringing me here to this guild then maybe I should just leave? But just know that I never ever left this guild in the dust to run away with one of my best friends, leaving the other one behind to rot. I never ran away, despite not being able to speak to my father before he died, despite feeling weak. Because I know I am And I don’t need you to tell me. I’m weak, I’m weird and you think I’m a sensitive, whiny bitch, because no matter what great feats I make, I will always be that spineless girl according to the entire fucking continent.”

Natsu pursed his lips. He had never seen Lucy this upset, and frankly, he hadn’t felt this upset since Igneel left him in the woods as a kid. Hearing her say that she would leave really threw him back into reality though, her words feeling like a bucket of ice cold water getting thrown at him. What the fuck was he doing? Fighting her over something as small as not being able to honestly apologise about blaming her for not managing to hold the whole guild together by herself? An impossible feat, now that he thought about it, unless everyone in the guild had the same mindset.

“No. No, no, no, Lucy, let’s not do this,” he mouthed, relaxing his fists and softening his face. “You’re not weak, or weird, or a sensitive spineless girl.”

As their yelling match quieted down they both became aware of their surroundings again. No one had said a single word while they had been throwing insults at each other, and Lucy became uncomfortably aware of how she basically outed all of her insecurities in the heat of it all. No longer feeling the fighting spirit to keep the tears abay, she let them blur her vision. Fighting with her best friend was draining, and she never ever wanted to do it again.

“You’re the person I hate the least in, like, the whole world, please don’t say you’ll leave.” He almost whispered this sentence, not wanting everyone to listen in to their private conversation, but getting the opposite effect as he heard Gajeel whisper to Levy what he had said. If anything, talking quieter made the guild listen even more attentively.

Lucy once again felt her throat thicken up, but this time from regret for fighting and not in anger, as earlier.

“Of course I won’t leave. I would never do that. It’s just…” She sniffled, “I know you probably didn’t mean to hurt my feelings during that interview, you didn’t know that I already blame myself for letting the guild disband, and for not trying harder to keep in contact with everyone. How could you know, I never told you. It just got extra hurtful to hear that you felt the same way. It’s like having one of your biggest fears come true and I just got so… sad… that I got angry instead.”

Natsu could see that she was gathering courage to apologise, which truthfully broke his heart even more than it already had today.

“But I don’t think you’re to blame, I honestly don’t even know what got into me, Lucy. If anything I know that you kept tabs on everyone behind the scenes because rather than ripping up healing scars, you wanted to make sure everyone was safe, wherever they were. I’ve never told you how relieved I was when I saw that we didn’t have to start from scratch to find everyone, all thanks to the fact that you dedicated yourself to getting a job that would give you the information necessary. You’re amazing for everything you’ve done, and if anything, I’m the one who needs to realise that I’m the weak one. I shouldn’t have left everyone like that. It wasn’t fair, and it isn’t an excuse but I was sad and, well… scared.”

This time it was Lucy’s turn to interrupt Natsu.

“You’re not weak for doing what you thought would keep your loved ones safe, Natsu. I know you didn’t abandon me, you really were trying to protect us all, in your way. Though, it would be nice if you knew that we’re here for you too. We want to protect you and the guild as well. I want to protect you.”

“I’m still sorry for leaving. And I’m sorry for not thinking before I talk, I never wanted to make you feel that way. I was being really stupid. Can you forgive me?”

The air was thick between them, mixed with remnants of hurtful words and regret. A few whispers from the rest of the guild made it even more obvious that the current situation was wrong - Natsu and Lucy couldn’t fight. They were best friends, an inseparable duo. It was all so wrong. Lucy’s sobs broke the silence.

“Of course I can forgive you.” A huff or relief mixed with a sob made its way out, almost sounding like laughter. Natsu felt the corners of his mouth pull up slightly, the weight on his shoulders lifting simultaneously. Carefully he took a step closer to her, pulling her into an embrace. Lucy’s relieved sobs made her shake against his chest as she allowed herself to fall into the hug. “If anything,” she breathed, “can you forgive me? You’re not a menace to society, nor exhausting to be with. I’m sorry for yelling at you.” As her voice broke into falsetto, mixing with previous sobs, Natsu managed to laugh lightly.

“Well you were right about the destructive part,” he laughed, tightening his grip around her shivering shoulders. “There’s really no need for you to apologise, but I’ll forgive you if it helps you to forgive yourself.”

Happy gave out a loud cry from beside them.

“I’m sorry Lucy..!” He wailed, throwing himself into their arms. “I didn’t know you’d be so sad about us leaving..!” Seeing Happy cry made Lucy cry even more.

“Of course I’d be sad if my best friends left me,” she managed to say, “I felt so lonely… You guys are everything to me, it was so weird to live without you.”

Happy’s cry was almost deafening at this point, as the only thing muffling the sound was Lucy’s chest and his occasional mumbling about loving her and apologising. The guild kept quiet, no one knowing how to react to the situation. The topic of the disbandment of the guild was rarely spoken of, often due, but not limited to, people silently judging themselves and others for allowing it to even happen in the first place. Cana could lie awake some nights in shame of how she had been drinking away reality when it happened, Elfman took more single missions than ever before, spending them wondering if he hadn’t made the guild blow up, would Makarov never have disbanded Fairy Tail? Some people were firm believers that they’d step up to keep the guild together, if someone had initiated it at first that was. Everyone had their own discomfort around the subject, yet very few had actually spoken about it out loud. Watching the guild’s sun and star fight over the delicate matter had brought feelings they hadn’t felt in a long time, so when Erza spoke up everyone held their breaths.

“I think we all have our uncomfortable memories connected to that year. I can admit, with full transparency, that I also have had some sleepless nights over this topic. But I can assure you both that no one blames either of you, in any way. It’s true that Natsu takes the job of protecting the guild in the highest regard of seriousness, and it’s also true that Lucy does too. To be frank, often I wonder if I could have prevented everything had I been more perceptive. But I’ve never blamed either of you.” Erza’s tone was soft, despite her words being stale and clearly rehearsed in her head. Her own confession made a myriad of other people speak up as well.

“Yeah, we never blamed you two. You’re the ones that brought us together again!” The guild stirred, people talking over each other to get their two cents on the topic. After all, the disbandment was a dam waiting to burst – Natsu and Lucy had just accidentally pulled the plug.

“Well…” the coarse voice that spoke up made the guild quiet down again. Makarov had made an appearance, and Natsu and Lucy, who were already ashamed for having their affairs sorted out in front of their guild mates, got even more embarrassed knowing that he had heard it all. “I must say that I’m surprised, and actually offended, that no one has put the blame on me. You can deny it all you want, but at the end of the day it was me, not any of you, that uttered the words that caused the disbandment. It was never my intention for you to get mad at yourselves or each other.”

Glances were passed around in the guild. Between people who had fought over this topic, and between people who had plotted against other groups.

“I won’t say sorry though.” Makarov gave the crowd a stern look. “I did what I thought was the best thing to do at the time. And you can try to prove me wrong, but everyone here grew during that year. You took your own paths, and experienced new ways of living. I’m sorry for the aftermath of disbanding the guild, but I’m not sorry for doing it.”

When Makarov finished his sentences, the guild let out a collective sigh. Some got annoyed with Makarov’s demeanour – hadn’t he listened to Natsu and Lucy, and heard how harmful the event had been for their relationship? Others sighed in relief, nodding along with his words. He had a point after all, and like it or not, the guild had absolutely gotten stronger after their time apart. Someone mentioned the saying that “distance makes the heart fonder” and another guy pushed him for being corny.

Soon enough the argument between Natsu and Lucy had sizzled out. For everyone besides them, that is. Except, they both felt like there were things to deal with still. There were no more hard feelings between them, their troubles had been aired out and felt small now that they weren’t topics to carefully tread around anymore. Still, they hadn't come to a conclusion. They wanted to talk.

“Do… Do you want to go to my place?” Lucy asked, now that no one paid them attention.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

They knew they didn’t have any eyes on them, but they decided to sneak out the back way anyway. It didn’t feel right to walk out through the big doors that made a big thunk when it closed behind them. Not today. They were still worn thin from the screaming battle – a loud sound might break them from shockwaves only.

The walk home was naturally quiet. They had taken this route home many times before, but back then the silence didn’t feel so empty. It wasn’t awkward, it wasn’t emotionally thick. There weren’t any unsaid words, unsaid sentences hanging in the air, clinging to their brains like velcro. Today, everything had been said. There were no more elephants to avoid talking about. Except maybe one.

Lucy was the first to enter the apartment. She took her time untying her shoes and hanging up her jacket. They had gone here to talk, though how, she had no idea. How was she supposed to say anything when the same mouth had heckled him only an hour earlier? Natsu, who also took his time with his sandals, almost moving unnaturally slowly to get those extra seconds to prepare himself, wondered the same thing. He started formulating sentences in his mind, trying to come up with something to say that wasn’t going to ruin them, but before he could put any of them to the test, Lucy spoke.

“Do you want a cup of tea?” Both Lucy herself and Natsu gave her a mental pat on the shoulder. Harmless words. A good sentence even – Natsu would give it first place in the world if he could.

“Yeah, sounds good.” Another successful sentence. Maybe they actually would be able to solve all this.

After Lucy put on the kettle, they both sat down on the couch beside each other. She was first to speak again.

“Natsu, I really am sorry for everything I said.” Natsu tried to stop her there to insert his own apology, but Lucy spoke up louder. “I really said so many things that I didn’t mean, and I’m ashamed I even started the whole argument. It was really immature of me, and I…”

Lucy looked up at Natsu, water was once again pressing in her tear ducts, though this time in regret.

“I just really really love this guild. I don’t know where I would be without it. You seriously saved me that day in Hargeon, in more ways than one. I’m so thankful, I’m sorry for not telling you that more often. Thank you.”

Natsu stared intensely into Lucy’s eyes, wishing his gaze could speak for him, but ultimately deciding to answer.

“I don’t think you understand Lucy, I should thank you. And most of all, It’s me who should apologise. Hadn’t you been in my life I’d still be walking around with a stick up my bum, you’ve changed my perspective on life. We’ve gone through Hell and back together, but I never even once considered you part of that Hell. I’m sorry for being a jerk today.” Natsu didn’t notice until now that he had softly grabbed Lucy’s hand while speaking. He was beyond relieved that she didn’t pull back.

Lucy let out a light sob. She was crying in relief – the reassurance that he didn’t despise her.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you Natsu. You-” she dried some of her tears with the palm of her hand, “you’re my entire world.”

“And you’re mine.” Natsu was quick to answer her, and faster to bring their faces closer. He felt this urge to hug her, keep her tight and not let go for anything in the world, but at the same time he wanted to see her. See her eyes that were still crying, feel her face against his own. So he brought their foreheads together and just breathed with her. Lucy’s breaths were still shallow and shaky, but it felt right to have her skin touching his, breathing in her air.

Then Lucy closed the distance completely. She carefully locked her lips together with his, not being forceful in any way. But they knew that this was the sensation they had been searching for. A complete closeness, mouth to mouth, an action so intimate it felt like they were sharing souls. And right now, they might as well have done exactly that. All their troubles had been shared, all their uglies and all their pretties, and this final action signed a contract. That they’ll keep mentioning anything on their minds, that they’ll say everything they like and dislike about each other. Most importantly what they love about each other. In this short moment of telepathy, they already knew the subject of their love – them.

***

Notes: Oops. At least I ended it with a kiss? I can't lie, this was hard to write and even harder to post (I can't figure out the Rich Text function on Ao3 at all, but I needed italics for the fic on ao3! Sorry tumblr-readers, you’re missing out🫣)

I honestly didn't expect it to get so long, most of the fics I write that are over 4k words are mostly just wordy for no reason, lol. But this fic had some drama! My teachers would be proud, dramatic curves are important but I Suck At Them.

Thank you for reading all this! And pls don't hate me for writing other emotions than love and grief, I'll most definitely get back with a trillion of those kinds of fics soon (I prefer writing those fics hehe). XX

[the-guilty-writer]

What's in a Nickname?

Request: from @doctorsteeb

Okay okay one more in case the last one was too specific—

Rossi!daughter coming home from college or from traveling abroad?

David Rossi x daughter!reader

Summary: A stop by your dad’s office leaves the BAU with a few questions… Some of them are more sentimental than others.

A/N: I couldn’t not write this after the idea popped into my head and this request gave me free reign to work with. If you didn’t look up what the nickname was for the reader in my other recent rossi!daughter fic you will know by the end. And yes, this nickname will absolutely stick for rossi!daughter reader from here on out unless I get a specific request not to include it because we all know if Rossi had a daughter this nickname would be canon.

CW: lots of italian... like I went a bit overboard on this one so here are translations: rompere le scatole = literal translation is “to break boxes” but it is slang for getting on someone’s nerves. Non avere peli sulla lingua = literal translation is “not to have hair on the tongue” which is slang for tell the truth. la goccia che ha fatto traboccare il vaso = literal translation for “drop that made the vase overflow” equating to the straw that broke the camel's back. Ti voglio bene = “I love you” used for family and close friends. Mio passerotta… you’ve gotta read until the end to find this one out for yourself.

---

“I never thought I would actually miss sitting in traffic,” you said, a smile on your face.

You were finally home after a semester abroad in Jamaica. Having always lived in a city, it was nice to be close to the ocean and wildlife and small towns, but after five months you were ready to return to the concrete jungle that was Washington, DC.

Your dad, on the other hand, was rather grumpy about the back up on the highway. “I’ll remind you of that next week when you say that the traffic is rompere le scatole.” He looked down at his watch and hesitated. “Do you mind if I-”

“Stop by the office?” You finished for him. You didn’t hate the idea of stopping by work with your dad, but you would have much rather gone home to eat a nice warm meal.

“If it’s not okay I understand,” he said. “Non avere peli sulla lingua.”

For a second, you thought about his words. “It’s fine,” you told him, then held out a singular finger. “But only if you make pasta tonight.” David Rossi might have been a master at hostage negotiation, but you were a master at dinner negotiation.

“Certo, mio passerotta,” he said as he turned onto the exit towards Quantico.

---

“Hey,” Derek walked into the bullpen, a cup of coffee in his hands even though it was nearly 5 PM. “Anyone know who is in Rossi’s office?”

“Rossi, I assume,” Emily said. She glanced up at the open office door where you were sitting. “Well that’s definitely not Rossi.”

“Maybe she’s a groupie?” JJ suggested.

“I don’t think a groupie would have made it past security,” said Reid without looking up from his book.

“BAU team,” Hotch walked into the bullpen with a file in hand, Rossi in tow, and Garcia trailing closely behind. “We have a case.”

The rest of the team headed to the conference room, but Rossi walked to his office to deliver the news to you that pasta might not be happening that night.

---

“You’re sure this is okay with you?” Your dad asked. “I don't want this to be la goccia che ha fatto traboccare il vaso-”

You cut him off with a wave of your hand. “I'm sure. Pasta can happen another night. Stopping a serial killer cannot.”

The team filed out of the conference room- the case was an emergency one, which meant the full briefing would be done on the jet, but they couldn’t help overhear the conversation you were having with your father.

“Ti voglio bene, papa.” You wrapped him in a hug.

He returned it, holding you tight. “Ti voglio bene, mio passerotta.”

You had to pry yourself out of your father’s arms to get him to let go. With a kiss on the forehead and a reminder not to drink his expensive wine, he sent you on your way home and went into his office to pack up his briefcase.

“Rossi has a daughter?” Emily smiled a bit and looked around at Morgan, Reid, JJ, and Garcia in confusion. “Did any of you know?”

“I had no idea,” JJ said as she and the rest of the team watched you leave.

“What’s everyone looking at?” Hotch said from behind them as he exited his office. They all startled at their boss’s sudden appearance.

“Rossi’s daughter that none of us knew existed,” Garcia admitted, still surprised.

“Oh yes, that’s (Y/N),” Hotch said. “She’s been studying abroad but decided to spend this summer with Dave instead of her mother.”

“Which wife?” Morgan joked.

“Actually, her mother is a close friend from college.” Rossi said. Once again, the team jumped in surprise. “We both wanted a kid, but she didn’t want to deal with too many lawyers and I didn’t want to deal with someone not understanding that I have an inflexible job. It worked out for both of us. Now if we’re done talking about my personal life, I think we have a murderer to catch.”

Rossi and Hotch walked out of the bullpen, leaving the team to stand around awkwardly for just a moment before remembering they had a flight to catch.

---

The case was fast and successful, but after being awake for nearly 24 hours straight most of the team was asleep- all except for Reid and Prentiss who were playing chess in the most quiet corner of the jet.

“How’d you know she was his daughter?” Reid asked as he moved his queen.

“It was a pretty easy inference,” said Emily as she calculated her next move, carefully watching how Reid had strategically placed his knights. She captured one. “She called him papa. I figured she had to be his daughter.”

“What does it mean?” Reid moved a bishop forward.

“What does what mean?” Emily moved one of her pieces without thinking.

Reid captured a pawn in her confusion. “He called her mio passerotta. You smiled when he said her nickname. What does it mean?”

Emily’s mouth twitched slightly up at one corner and moved a rook before leaning back in her seat. “My sparrow,” she said, a melancholy tone to her voice. “Mio passerotta means ‘my sparrow.’”

Reid looked down, a small smile gracing his face before going back to the board and putting Emily’s king in check with a move his mentor had used against him many years before.

[ran-orimoto]

How would you rewrite Junpei and Izumi?

Hi Anon~. Sorry for being late. In truth I’m being late with almost anything you have requested or asked me about because……….I’ve been sinking into the sea of a game and it has been occupying the free time my mind can spend without studying lmaooooo. Anyway, I had written a draft so I’ve corrected it. I hope it’s decent as an answer! I have got so many feelings about a possible rewriting for them🥺. Sometimes I really feel like they are the characters the writers care about the least. BUT DON’T WORRY! I’M HERE, BBIES!

Hm, important note, I won’t really talk about the evolutions because I’m not even a big fan of the evolutions coming after the ones they own. Deepest wish is for them to have a fusion🤫 but that’s another story💕💕.

- I would give them a family bg because that’s the first alarm giving me the impression the writers just didn’t care about them. They are the first characters in the whole Digimon franchise history who don’t have an explained family bg and this breaks my heart, because knowing about a character’s family is useful to understand so many aspects of that character. I would have been okay if Junpei’s parents had never been shown, though. At this point you must know his bios have convinced me this boy either lives with an aunt and uncle or with his grandparents.

- Izumi’s problems with her classmates have to be rebuilt and rewritten completely. I want her to hold in herself a clearer story of xenophobia. I also kinda would desire flashbacks about her leaving Italy, her sadness, her nostalgia; why not, also flashbacks of what her life used to be like in Italy in comparison with the one she’s leading in Japan. It would be cute if one of these flashbacks featured her enjoying italian wind, because ,SERIOUSLY, the bond between the kids and their element need to be explored.

- Junpei is the one who has got the least amount of flashbacks and insights about his life in the real world. I really feel moved about his issues at building relationships and real friends, but I would have adored if they had given a reason why Junpei acts the way he does. Personally, I would have adored hearing Junpei has taken an interest on magical tricks because originally he wanted to get attention from his absent parents. Parents give him so much money so he can buy chocolate, cards, whatever he thinks the other kids like, and they think in this way Junpei can feel loved so he has got a messed up perception of relationships, of the way you can create meaningful links with others etc… Moreover, his attention about magical tricks makes him even a worse student than what he is like and this makes his father or both his parents infuriated, which compromises their weak family bond even more. In this way that frame from the” Innocent” ending scene, which is way too specific in his case for my tastes, could finally get an explanation in the anime.

- Oh yes, I would describe Junpei’s bedroom being messy and full of toys and other stuff he buys to be liked by other kids; stuff the other kids will rarely be interested in; stuff he accumulates, -just like his chocolate-, in his bedroom and will never use. I would like to clarify he eats so many bars because nobody really wants to eat them.

- I would give both Izumi and Junpei a reason to jump on that train or, at least, make them question why they have done it, especially Junpei:

• Izumi might have had a very bad school day, something common for a kid but an experience which is the last straw making the camel’s back break to her. She is sick of her school life. Maybe she has heard that girl she has helped with her foot laughing about her, joining the others in some petty chorus, and this sends Izumi on the edge of tears. She comes back home, puts her pizza in the microwave while she is sadly thinking about what has happened and that’s when Ophanimon’s message makes her phone vibrate.

• In the first 5 episodes Junpei is always like “It’s better if I had stayed at home!”; “I really don’t want to stay in this world!” and then he jumps on the train again and we don’t know what happened in his head. I WISH for that part about Izumi being the reason why Junpei has stayed to remain, but I also would like to make it more meaningful, and not a stupid crush joke. It’s very precious that Junpei felt Izumi was as lonely as him so I wanted this part of his bios to take a consistency in the anime. Probably, I wouldn’t really reveal it that soon. When Junpei is on the train, I would like to see him thinking about his life in the real world, maybe remembering his parents are going to come back too and he will be scolded about his grades. He is not a kid who likes giving voice to his most delicate thoughts, so he would also think about his classmates , wince because of an unexplainable melancholy creeping in his soul, and then look at Izumi. And feel it.

- I’d love making Izumi and Ranamon have wholesome moments too, because Ranamon is the other female presence we need in this season and she didn’t have to necessarily be entirely bad and obnoxious. After some adventure they’d share together, I would love seeing Izumi using her kindness to make Ranamon understand she has got other qualities that are more important than beauty. I would still let Ranamon be annihilated tho… With tears on her face and a smile because now she has understood her true worth and hopefully in another life she will be more sincere to herself. In a nutshell, I would like if if Ranamon got more human feelings. I LOVE RANAMON., okay.

- AGAIN, I’D STRENGTHEN THE CONNECTION BETWEEN THEM AND THE ELEMENTS. Jesus Christ, Junpei’s fear of about thunders and lightning is so pitiful and mocking. Why haven’t they given it a DEPTH. Like you already know from my fics, I’d gladly link it with his loneliness.

- I would rewrite the episodes of Tsunomon and Whamon.

• The Tsunomon episode wouldn’t be focused on only Izumi because her feeling Tsunomon’s isolation is relatable to her has got a very weird execution. I would make it an episode about loneliness in general; about BOTH feeling their loneliness intensely and maybe face each other about it with some flashbacks. Thus, they would reach a first level of mutual understanding and respect, because , after all, like a dear friend said, they are two faces of the same coin and just have to realize it. - The Whamon episode has to be about both as well, because it’s shameful Izumi stood still in a situation that was about her, letting Junpei be her shining knight in armour. You are supposed to be a heroine, girl! Do you want to sit on the stands for the nth episode while Junpei is doing everything and putting his life at stake for your sake? I want her to snap out of her | *shaking voice* “I-If only I could digievolve🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🐑*. I freaking want her to help Junpei gain his control on the Beast like Tomoki did for Takuya, at least. Junpei was going berserk in the original episode too and what helps him gain his control? Remembering he wanted to get Izumi’s spirit back. So I think Junpei would go berserk and she’d help him with her voice, -like Bokomon would suggest-, which would also be a faint hint Izumi has got a tendency to keep control in similar situations as well. Izumi should exploit that feeling of hopelessness she has experienced while being unable to fight to REACT; to start wishing for a sort of “redemption” and get stronger; to discover her strength.

- AND AND AND AND, I would frankly make Izumi pay Junpei back for that, allowing her to rescue him for once. We had got so close in the episode in which Kerpymon steals the kids’ digivices and Junpei is the first one getting his stolen. Shutumon flies to his side and insists on helping him, but Loweemon stops her. WELL, either I’d make Loweemon shut up or I’d turn Junpei in Ranamon’s prince prey in captivity. So, Izumi would finally have someone to rescue and HOPEFULLY she wouldn’t drown lol, because let’s stop making Izumi drown everytime. This would be Izumi’s new evolution moment ✨.

- Finally, I’d make Tsunomon come back because another thing I hate is how they are the ones who have been shafted away in the most embarassing way in the final episodes. You don’t want to make Kokuwamons and Floramons come back? Fine, because those would have been an episode for each. Well, then, make Tsunomon come back, now evolved in Gabumon and make them save what they care about the most, thank you. Two episodes for Tomoki? Now I’m giving you the chance to give Izumi and Junpei a single episode for both.

And that’s it, Anon. I took two or maybe more weeks to write this because my tw friends make me come up with the worst ideas, honestly, and I needed to write them down. I don’t know when I will post this, but I really thank you for the patience💕. I’m sure there would be so many other things I would add, but this post can (not ) be a papyrus. I also want to say I really want to write some of these someday, especially Izumi rescuing Junpei because I want to see him acting miserable in some cage until Ranamon will threaten to drown him while he’s melting due to her Jelousy Rain.

Ah! So much Junzumi in this post hhhh💕💕💕💕

[glassautomaton]

Hi there Glass! Me again, yes, the pest in your askbox..

Today, I come bearing questions (and concepts) about this specific line in your sandbox!

I am very interested in the Thorn and was wondering if you could explain how your Thorn works? That and how it would effect Iris?

Also!

I've been thinking about this for some days now, and yesterday I mocked up some Thorn infected Iris drawings for fun! You were the one who gave me the idea, so I'll share the drawings with you! :]

Small explanation for these: I'm just going to explain how everything works in my design. Feel free to add on or critique me or whatever you wish.

In the early stages of Iris being assimilated with the Thorn, her veins start running black, it's not super obvious at first, it just gathers around scars, and her hands, but it isn't a lot.

As time goes on, it grows, veins become darker, then some discoloration on her scars as they begin to rapidly change to black as well.

Then, the thorns push up from her skin. They accumulate with stress, but there are specific ones that can't just be picked out of her skin. (Like the ones lining her spine, the ones on her shoulders, the ones slowly coming out of her forehead, and I am guessing there is maybe a center one, the specific piece of the thorn that assimulated with Iris in the first place, but I don't think that would push up from her skin for atleast a while.)

(Also, yes, I know horns are a little out there, but one, it's fun. Two, I think it ties in nicely with all the religious imagery that seems to follow Iris as a character. Three, it looks badass.)

Anyway! Yeah, feel free to spill your thoughts on that, as for how all of this is happening? I'm not very good with anomalous biology, so I'm not sure I have a specific explanation. Feel free to add on to the design or try and make an anomalous system for it. At the end of the day, this is for fun!

Thanks for reading one of my various rambles! Enjoy the rest of your day, my friend! :]

I’ll start off with saying that while, as I’ve said, I don’t really have an issue with anyone poking around my sandbox, I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it. The outline you’re taking that from was made mostly to help me get my thoughts in order, and I don’t update it with everything I consider changing. A lot of what’s on there is just stuff I’ll possibly include or things I’ve thought about but not decided on. All of which is to say everything there is subject to change and I wouldn’t take it as the end-all-be-all Devil’s Advocate Bible. If you want to snoop around to take a look at the brainstorming process or cut content (Voices Carry was originally going to be very different and probably much worse), then go ahead.

As for your actual questions, I’ll put them under a cut because they’re spoilers and also possibly subject to change as I said above.

Now, for the Bloom, I’m afraid this answer might disappoint, but I don’t want to say anything definitive in my series. Some of the remaining authors for Resurrection are still planning on bringing the mainline canon back, and I don’t want to step on their toes when it comes to what seems like the main mystery of the series.

I can tell you how I was thinking of making it function in broad strokes, though. It’s basically a conflux like we see in Voices Carry with perfect efficiency, and processes reality through itself, making sure anything it processes is close enough to how it should be that reality itself doesn’t collapse in on itself. Like a very coarse brush moving through the threads of reality, it makes sure they’re at least somewhat straight. Not perfectly, it doesn’t have to and that would be much more difficult, but good enough to where it doesn’t knot up and become a horrific mess.

It got corrupted in Incident Zero, like a compute you don’t shut off for too long. Too many small things adding up until a straw breaks the camel’s back, and the comb itself becomes knotted up, except the comb was also inextricably linked to the hair as well. After it was destroyed, its splinters retained its capability but lacked and force or programming telling them what to do, leaving them mostly inert.

I know this might stray from other stuff with the Bloom, but as I said, I might tweak this in the future as I brainstorm. I also didn’t touch on who/what created it and how, as I don’t want to tread on any toes.

As for the second half of your ask, this is probably where the “I only wrote this for myself and maybe people I would be able to immediately clear things up to” comes in, as the term “assimilation” isn’t really clear at all. I’ll say that I do like the design though, always a fan of that type of gradual corruption. However, when it comes to Iris, my thinking is that if she comes off as scary it should be for what she does rather than how she looks.

So, as for what assimilation actually means I’m this context, I was planning on having an example of that earlier on in the storyline, very shortly after Lily is introduced. Infovores process, assimilate, and spit out all kinds of information, and this extends to more than just memories of images. I was going to have Iris and Lily kill something called a Hymn Weaver, which is a follower of something close to a god who uses song and dance, or at least things that look and sound similar to it, to maintain reality from the spaces in between universes. The need arms to do this, and lots of them, so they sort of graft various arms onto themselves, but the arms aren’t physical. They Weavers assimilate the information that makes them up, like a psychic footprint, and call them up when they need to. So, assimilation is more along the lines of an Inforvore processing all the information that makes something up and being able to use it in other ways. Lily’s extremely proficient at information processing and assimilation, but can’t actually force changes on reality like Iris can.

Fun fact, the Hymn Weavers’ god, the High Weaver, is a mass of so many limbs from all manner of things that whatever it used to be beneath all of them has been long forgotten. It’s part of the “Triumvirate” mentioned in 6907. I actually have a lot more lore of what was mentioned in there, but a) that’s not the point of this ask, though I’d be more than happy to talk about it and b) I don’t think my SCPs have nearly as much of a following as my tales.

Hopefully that gets everything. And this is all sort of a peek pegging the curtain here, and things aren’t final or explained as well as they would be otherwise in an actual article. If you’ve got any questions, as always, let me know.

[photogrivy]

Ivy didn’t like to think of herself as a bad person, but she knew she had the capacity to be cruel. She had a penchant for pettiness, at the very least. She’d been through a lot in life, always being forced to just take it on the chin and power through, but she was acutely aware of the fact that she often used her trauma as a crutch. The young girl from nowhere had a tendency to excuse her own actions, to write off her mistakes and blame them on her past. These bad habits often led to loud scoffing, eyes being rolled, and harmful jabs at whoever stood across from her, and frankly Louis had fallen victim to that very behaviour from her countless times ten years ago, just as he was now.  

She knew she should feel awful, and a part of her did. A small, conflicting voice in the back of her head told her that maybe she should give him a break, maybe he’d changed. Even back then, before things had exploded, she’d never really given him the opportunity to earn her trust. Even when Wardo looked at him like he hung the moon, she’d seen the worst and practically willed it into existence that he’d hurt her best friend all over again. Ten years had passed, their college years a mere footnote in their lives, and she couldn’t quite award him the opportunity to grow. It felt like a betrayal, as though allowing him to be a human being who made mistakes meant she was throwing all those years of friendship with Wardo right back in his face. 

“No, it doesn’t look like we do,” she agreed, visibly deflating.  

She was tired from arguing, a hefty feat for Ivy, truth be told. She felt exhausted just looking at him, quietly wondering how she was going to tell Wardo about any of this. Or if she should tell him at all, because what good would it really do? Would it ever really benefit him, knowing that Louis was not only back, but had published a fucking book? The latter news might finally be the straw that broke the camel’s back, Ivy envisioned his publishing house up in flames, Wardo’s arms wide like fuckin’ Elmo on a warpath. 

“This might come as a surprise, but I can be professional,” she shrugged, tone dry, all out of fight. She didn’t want to sit in that room with him for the next few hours, but she could get through it for a paycheck, if she had to. Maybe she’d spend the wage on treating Wardo; take him out somewhere special, pick up a fucking First Edition of his choosing. She could ask Raff if she could take on a few extra shifts to cover the cash wasted, not wanting Louis Denver to have had a hand in her paying her God Damned rent. A final, fleeting flash of pettiness coursed through her at the thought as she added; “Just don’t expect me to enjoy the damn book, okay?” 

She had the courtesy to look a little embarrassed by the final jab – not entirely out of guilt, but she knew it wasn’t really her finest work. She averted her gaze from the writer, staring now at her scruffy boots, wishing she hadn’t shown up looking like she’d gotten dressed in the dark. The last thing she needed was Louis thinking she was the same girl he’d met ten years ago, no matter how close to the truth that may be. She was still scrappy, still prone to picking fights she couldn’t finish. Her jeans still wore fashionable tears, her leather jacket worn and disheveled. At least she could rely on her eyeliner being perfect. 

“He’s not here, fyi.” She wasn’t sure what possessed her to say it, the words tumbling from her lips before she could stop them. She’d seen the look on Louis’ face, she knew what had somehow gone unspoken in the minutes that had passed. She cursed inwardly, feeling already as though she’d betrayed Wardo’s trust just by acknowledging him, by offering up even the foggiest window into his day. 

“He’s at home with the boys, so. Not that it's any of your business, just don’t go getting your hopes up,” she added, one final note. It was childish. She wasn’t even sure what she wanted him to gain from that final nugget of information. The boys just referred to Capote and Ulysses, she knew that, but if it drove Louis nuts then she’d be content. Maybe it would keep him up at night, his mind running rampant with images of Wardo and his harem of husbands in his tiny New York apartment. 

The petulant, childish nickname that Ivy bestowed on him had it's desired effect. In that, it did indeed irritate the shit out of him. Frustratingly, it reminded him of being a kid, teased by his older siblings. As far as being tormented by his older siblings, Carolina and Gerard leaving him out and patronisingly calling him LouLou had hardly been the worst of their crimes, but it had smarted then and it still smarted now.

"Real fuckin' mature, Rogers." Louis huffed, screwing up his features. Verbal sparring with Ivy was exhausting, but the two were as stubborn as one another, and Louis wouldn't back down before she did.

"My what?" Louis repeated. He tried to mentally backtrack to see if he remembered his publicist saying anything about a photographer. Of course, he assumed maybe there'd be one, but outside of showing up and waxing lyrical about the writing process and trying to get people to like him, he wasn't really sure what these events entailed. Turns out, writing was a really solitary job, and once the whole putting pen to paper process was done and dusted, a lot of it was out of his hands. Thankfully, Ava was a fucking blessing in disguise, and handled every minute detail that went entirely over Louis' head. She kept him looped in on the shit she felt he needed to know, and handled the rest. Maybe she ought to start keeping him abreast of who she was hiring now, just in case she decided to put every single one of his ex-fucks on the catering committe for his book launch.

"Ava didn't say you'd be here." he murmured, aware he sounded childish. As far as Ava was concerned, after all, Louis didn't know a single person in the city. On second thought, he did remember her saying something about a talented new photographer, and also that she was cute. Louis scrunched up his nose at the rememberance. Ivy Rogers was 5 feet of pure, girly evil with a mean right hook to boot. He didn't think cute was an entirely fitting adjective.

"Well, I'm not exactly jumpin' for joy to see you either." he muttered, reaching for his phone again. With jittery fingers, he scrolled until he found Ava's number in his phone. Surely she'd be able to iron this out. She could fix anything. Tell Ivy her services weren't needed, thanks. Send her on her way with a pay packet and a 'thank you very much'. And what? There be no photos? That seemed potentially problematic. Wasn't he supposed to be selling and promoting his fucking debut novel? He'd finished the writing part, now it was his turn to uphold the other part of his contract. It would look pretty fucking unprofessional to say, sorry, I can't actually do this. You see, the photographer is the best friend of my college boyfriend from ten years ago. He'd be laughed out of the goddamn building.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he offered Ivy a scowl, "Well, it doesn't look like either of us have any say in the matter, does it, darlin'?"

He felt antsy and out of control, something he had grown to learn he really hated. Sighing, he dropped his hand, staring Ivy down,

"So yeah, I guess I'm gonna read from my silly little published novel, and I guess you'll just point your camera at me and we'll just have to play nice for a few hours, if we can both manage it?"

He let out a shaky breath, wired from the unexpected altercation. The question hung on the tip of his tongue, but if Ivy wasn't going to offer up the information, he wasn't going to be pathetic enough to ask after him.

[bella-heartbroken]

My heart is finally catching up with my head; it’s becoming very clear that you’re not the one for me.

[p0orbaby]

One Too Many

Summary - After years of coming to terms with wanting a child, one day could undo all of your hard work.

Warnings - SMUT, breeding kink, strap on use, slight nipple play, language, toxic relationship? Reader being a bit of a bitch, smoking

Authors note - a bit of a bumpy ride ngl but I enjoyed writing some angst for a change. Italics are flashbacks like normal. Based on a great request you can find here

Word count - 3.4k

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Fear.

Anger.

Disappointment.

All three words were apt in describing how she felt right now.

Yet she should be feeling the opposite.

She should be feeling joyous about this news. Perhaps a little apprehension would be expected also. But happiness is what is universally expected. So why could she not stop herself from feeling sorrowful?

It was as though a wave had washed over her. Like she was stranded at sea with nothing but a wooden plank to keep her afloat. She could almost see land on the horizon after a long treacherous journey on the open water. But as soon as solid ground was almost in her grasp, a swell of salt water pushed her further away from respite.

All the progress the two of you had made. Everything you had both endured together. This news might be the straw that breaks the camel's back. And Wanda doesn’t know if she’ll be able to power through this on her own.

-

It was a conversation you’d had not long after you got together. An innocent answer in response to an innocent question. But it was never able to expel itself from Wanda’s mind.

“Only one?” She questioned as you traced patterns against her skin. Still tacky from the way your limbs were tangled with each other just moments ago.

“I think one would be plenty. Do you not agree?”

It was hard to feign her shock. But she must’ve done it well enough because your movements on her back never faltered at her lack of response.

She didn’t know why, but she’d always just presumed you’d want a large family.

A big group of rambunctious children with your smile and wit and her eyes and patience. Yet the more she thought about it. You had never actually mentioned kids to her before.

Maybe the presumption was there because she saw how good you were with them. When you’d been dragged by the hand by Lila to be shown what she had accomplished since the last time you’d visited. You looked like you genuinely enjoyed the company of a toddler. As much as an adult could at least.

“I think I’d like two or three” it wasn’t so much as a statement anymore, but a way to gauge your reaction.

“Three?” The speed at which the question left your mouth made Wanda turn to look at you now. “You really want three snotty nosed kids running around?”

“Why not? They’d be cute and they’d be ours”

“But that seems like a lot of work Wands. Three whole children to look after. Sounds like a living hell if you ask me”

She subtly hoped that you were saying all this as a jest. You were both young, of course you didn’t want to think about having kids right now.

“I said two or three. Not definitely three. It would be fun, to have our own little family”

“You know what” you said, moving her off of your body. “Why don’t we go out? Just the two of us, to that restaurant you like that serves complimentary Bellinis?”

You didn’t give her time to answer before you stood up and turned on the shower. Wanda was now suffering from whiplash at the haste you were able to change the subject.

-

Wanda dared to look over at you when you let go of her hand.

The warmth you once radiated when you were next to her, now gone and replaced with the cold yearning she had for you to be close.

Your back was turned to her as you looked out of the window of the hospital room. She couldn’t see your face but the slight shake in your shoulders and the hand over your mouth made it obvious you were crying.

The technician paid no heed to the interaction or lack thereof between the two of you. Probably used to the range of emotions individuals exhibited in times like these.

Wanda had all but blocked out what they were saying. Their words now just a muffled noise in her ears as her heart threatened to beat out of her chest.

She hadn’t even noticed you leave the room until the door closed behind you. If she wasn’t in company, she would have broken down there and then. But the technician just gave her a small smile.

“It’s overwhelming for people sometimes. When they see the heartbeats on the screen it all becomes very real. Just give her a minute and I’m sure she’ll be right back in”

But Wanda knew you. She knew that it would take more than a minute to come around. Especially about this.

-

“Y/N you need to calm down”

“I am calm”

Your gritted teeth and red face told her otherwise. She knew you were trying your hardest to not to snap at her but if your increase in volume was any evidence of your composure, you were losing it exponentially.

“I just don’t see what the big deal was. It was a silly little game”

“Didn’t sound like a game to me. Telling eachother what baby names you’ve both have picked out. Planning to have them at the same time. It was weird”

“It was only a bit of fun. Even Bucky was getting involved and you know just as well as I do that he and Nat have also had this conversation. He was doing it to humor his wife. You could’ve done the same for yours”

“What, pretend to plan a life that I don’t even want? You want me to feign looking forward to ideas that I have no intention of wanting to fulfil?”

Your words were like a bucket of ice water. She knew your trepidation about having kids, so she rarely brought the topic up. But to have you confirm that you weren’t even privy enough to play along with her little fantasy almost made her buckle at the knees.

“It was just a joke Y/N” her voice was almost a whisper at this point.

The way her tone changed made you finally meet her eyes for the first time since getting home.

They were red rimmed and glossy from holding back tears. And her chin wobbled slightly as she took in deep breaths to try and keep her resolve.

The realisation of your words must have sunk in because you stood and made your way over to her, arms wide ready to envelop her.

Wanda instinctively pressed herself against you when you were close enough. Face nestled in the crook of your neck as your arms circled her waist.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have shouted at you. I just, I don’t know. I’m sorry”

Wanda nodded her head. A silent gesture to tell you she accepted your apology. It was hard to stay mad at you when you rubbed her back and kissed the top of her head.

She knew you didn’t say those things to hurt her. It wasn’t a dig or a threat, you were just scared. But who wouldn’t be when you’d be responsible for human life.

-

Wanda found you sitting on the floor against the wall outside the hospital room. Elbows resting on your knees with your head in your hands.

It was hard to see you like this. Your usual sunny disposition crumbling away and being overshadowed by uncertainty.

You spotted her feet out of the corner of your eye and stood up abruptly, placing your hand on the small of her back. Even when feeling vulnerable you always cared for her well-being.

“Was uh, was everything alright?” You asked sheepishly, guiding her through the building to the exit.

“Everything and everyone are how they should be”

Apart from the obvious way you tensed at her choice of words, she couldn’t help but notice the subtle look of relief that spread across your face. And the way you pulled her closer and rubbed circles on her hip with your thumb confirmed the fact that you were thankful that nothing was amiss.

“I’ve got a picture of the scan” Wanda said as you both made your way out into the afternoon sun. “Maybe we can put it on the fridge?”

“Mhm, if that’s where you want to put it”

Opening the door to the car, you helped guide her into the passenger seat before you made your way round the other side.

“Where would you like to put it?” The question made you bite your lip. Wanda was unsure whether it was to stop yourself from crying again or if you were genuinely thinking of an answer.

“Do you have more than one?” You asked after a while.

“We’ve got three”

“Well, maybe I can put one in my office at work?” You suggested, lightly shrugging in your seat as you pulled the car out of it’s space.

-

Wanda remembered vividly the day that you told her you were ready to have a child.

It was your third wedding anniversary and you had gone all out. Flowers, chocolates, a homemade dinner, massages in bed. It was simple and sweet and she loved every second of it.

Especially the things you had treated her to that evening.

You had her on her hands and knees as you pounded into her from behind. The only sounds to be heard were the slap of skin and the strangled cries from herself as you hit the right spot inside her over and over again.

You were working her towards her third orgasm of the night. One for every year you’d been married thus far you’d told her.

Before she could reach the precipice of pleasure, you pulled the strap out of her and flipped her over so she was now laying flat on the bed facing up at you.

Your cheeks were red and you had a thin sheen of sweat covering your body. The sight of you made Wanda want to turn the tables and bend you over instead.

“Fuck, you’re so hot” you breathed as you ducked your head to plant hot wet kisses along her neck. They were sloppy and erratic, but they still caused pleasure to shoot straight to Wanda’s core.

Leaving her neck, you made your way down her body, sucking purple marks into her skin as you went. Reaching her left nipple, red and rosey, you sucked it into your mouth, causing her to let out a guttural moan.

“You like it when I play with your tits huh? You like it when I suck on them?”

Wanda knew you didn’t expect a verbal answer, she probably wouldn’t be able to give you one even if she tried. The small nod she managed sufficed.

“Your body is perfect baby, so fucking perfect, gonna look even better when you’re carrying our child”

The way you said it so casually as you slowly slid the strap back into Wanda’s slick folds almost had her miss it. Did you just say what she thought you said?

“Would you want that Wanda? To be pregnant? Wanna grow our baby for us?

The pace at which you were drilling into her now had her eyes roll to the back of her head. You found purchase by placing one hand at the side of her head and the other pressed to her thigh to keep her open for you. The new angle causing white hot bliss to roll through her body.

“Y/N, I’m so close, fuck”

“I know you are, pretty girl. Cum for me baby, cum for your wife”

And she did. Her back arched to an almost impossible height and her legs twitched as the pleasure ripped through her for the third time that night.

You only stopped your movements when her breathing started to return to normal. You wouldn’t push her for another one.

Pulling out of her gently and tossing the strap, you pulled her into your arms, naked and sticky.

“Did you mean it?” She asked eventually. Not wanting to sound too hopeful.

“Mean what my love?”

“You want to have a kid with me?”

In the throes of passion you hadn’t realised you had voiced that. You’d thought long and hard about the topic over the past few months, and you’d finally come to the conclusion that having a child with Wanda is something that you definitely wanted.

“Urm.. yeah? Sorry was all of that a bit much? I didn’t mean to-“

“No, no! Definitely not. It was amazing. You were amazing. I just wanted to make sure you meant it or if it was part of the, you know” she didn’t finish her sentence, opting to wave her hands around to gesture what she indicated.

Sitting up against the headboard so you were eye level with Wanda, you grabbed her face gently in your hands, making her look you in the eyes.

“I want a baby with you, Wanda Maximoff. I’ve never meant anything so strongly in the short time I’ve walked upon this Earth”

Wanda lurched forward so her lips crashed against yours. The action was filled with so much love and happiness, a wave of emotion flooded you. Your tears now mixing with hers.

The two of you sat exchanging soft touches and lingering kisses that night.

-

She trailed behind you as you both made your way into the house.

The atmosphere awfully drab compared to the airy undercurrent of anticipation before leaving for the appointment earlier that morning.

You took Wanda’s coat in silence, helped her with her shoes in silence, and guided her to sit down at the kitchen island in silence.

The lack of noise was disconcerting. The unnecessary tension was starting to irk Wanda to the point she was about to call your behaviour out.

That was until she noticed you rummage through one of the kitchen drawers and head outside.

She chose to follow you. Only for the intention of keeping you company. Yes she was a little annoyed, but you were upset so she couldn’t find it in her to voice her concerns just yet.

She decided to perch herself on the garden wall, opposite where you had decided to sit on some garden furniture. Pulling out a cigarette out of its box and lighting it.

“You haven’t smoked in ages” Wanda stated softly. Not in a way to ridicule, mainly just to fill the silence.

“Well, desperate times and all that”

Wanda just sat and watched the smoke you exhaled mingle with the air of the early afternoon. It was exciting to think that in a few months the two of you would be sitting out here not just as a married couple but as parents also.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked.

“There isn’t much to talk about really” you replied before you took another drag of the cigarette, closing your eyes as you did.

“Baby, you’re obviously upset about this so can we please talk about it”

“I’m not upset”

“Don’t treat me like a fool Y/N, I saw the way you deflated when you saw the scan. When you cried before storming out of the room. I’m not blind or stupid so you might as well admit it”

“Wanda, don’t” your tone was low, a warning for her not to push this further than necessary, but she needed to know how you felt. She had an idea already but she needed to hear you say it yourself.

-

“How about Jess?”

You were both sitting in the tub, Wanda’s back to your chest as you had your hands spread across her stomach.

The two of you had an appointment with the doctor today, to confirm if Wanda was pregnant. She was, and the news made you the happiest person alive.

“Hmm, not really a fan of that one. What about Oscar?”

“No, sounds like a posh dog's name” your response made her snort. “James?”

“What like Bond, James Bond”

“Okay well now that’s put me off that one”

“Why don’t we say a name each at the same time” Wanda suggested as she turned in your arms slightly. Her hair in a messy bun atop her head and her cheeks slightly flushed with the steam from the room. She was beautiful.

“Alright, on three then”

“1”

“2”

“3”

“Tommy”

“Billy”

“Oh Billy is a good one” Wanda stated as she settled back into your arms”

“I like Tommy too,” you admitted.

“Well maybe we won’t have to choose, we might have twins, like me and Pietro”

Wanda automatically felt you stiffen in her arms. She didn’t say it because she necessarily wanted twins, but it could happen.

“But it’s also quite rare for a twin to have a twin, about a 1 in 125 chance so I don’t think we’ll have anything to worry about”

“Two at once would be hard,” you said after a while. Your fingers tracing light circles on Wanda’s belly. A subtle way of telling her you were alright.

“Yeah it would be, but I doubt it’s going to happen so there’s no need to fret”

-

“You said you wanted children, so why are you avoiding talking to me about them”

“I’m not” flicking the end of your cigarette you stood and tried to make your way inside, but you were halted by Wanda grabbing your wrist.

“Y/N, please just talk to me”

You relented. As much as you wanted to run from this situation, the despair in Wanda’s voice almost broke you. You’d talk to her, you had to.

Turning around, you sat back where you just stood from. Blading your elbows on your knees and you head in your hands. You felt the cushion on the bench dip lightly as Wanda sat beside you.

“I don’t know if I can do it Wands”

She knew what you meant so she let you carry on.

“I want a child with you, I really do. But two? God I can’t begin to think about how I’ll be able to look after them both. My childhood wasn’t great, Christ it was terrible in all honesty. My mother went from one man to the next. I slept on floors and on couches in weird houses of people I didn’t know all so she could get in someone's pants. It was kind of a relief when I was taken away. At least I had a warm meal and a bed to sleep in every night”

It was hard for Wanda to listen to this again. You’d told her before, obviously, but the strain in your voice as you tried to keep the tears at bay relieving the pain made her heart ache.

“In the orphanage, I realised not long after I got there that all of the children were there because their parents couldn’t look after them. So many kids, all abandoned because their parents didn’t want them. I vowed from that day to never bring a child into this world in fear of not being able to provide for them”

Letting out a shaky breath you looked up from where your eyes were glued to the ground to find Wanda with tear stained cheeks.

“You’re not doing this alone. We’re a team, we can navigate this whole thing together” she choked out.

“I know, I just need time. Time to think, time to process. I’m going to go and stay with Tony tonight”

Wanda watched you stand for a second time, but this time she let you make your way back into the house.

She knew your intentions for choosing Tony. Even you knew that if you were to go to any of the others about this they’d just tell you you were in the wrong and refuse to house you. But Tony, he would welcome you with open arms and pour you a glass of something strong. Maybe letting you leave was for the best, you might have a clearer head tomorrow. If you weren’t hungover that is.

She placed a protective hand on her stomach, a small gesture to let her babies know that she was there for them, no matter what.

“Your mama is a little upset right now. Don’t worry though, she loves you and she’ll come around soon enough. She just needs a little bit longer to get her head around the fact that there’s two of you in there”

Fear.

Anger.

Disappointment.

All three words were apt in describing how she felt right now.

You had run away from her, from your family. And she couldn't help but think this was, somehow, all her fault.

Taglist

General Taglist: @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @jromanoff @diaryoflife @xxromanoffxx @marrymemcgrath @smileyromanoff

[actuallysaiyan]

The Letter(V/Vergil x Fem!Reader)

Word count: 2,207 Warnings: Fluff, angst, general smuttiness, technically the loss of a loved one, sadness, unprotected sex, passionate love making, creampie, the usual suspects you can expect from this blog. Pairings: V/Vergil x Fem!Reader Summary: Reader fell head over heels for V, but when their time is cut short, she can't handle not being able to see him. Things seemingly gets worse when she finds the most beautiful letter addressed to her from V, and with it, she confronts Vergil. A/N: The letter in question is this beautiful work, by @bluedynasty23, and I was so very much inspired by their amazing words. That letter from V is just so bittersweet and beautiful. And thanks to @beneathstarryskies, who gave me the idea for this fic actually, this piece of content was born! Thanks for all the inspiration! Also, side note, but We Close Our Eyes by Oingo Boingo goes very welly with this fic ;)

You’ve been through so much with him in the short time here. It almost killed you inside when you realized you’d never see him again. You had fallen so hard for him despite being almost complete opposites. But that fact only made you only love him so much more. He was everything to you. The way he so easily charmed his way into your heart, his poetic words which always sparked a flame deep within you. You knew he was always hiding something from you, but you wanted to ignore these little secrets. The little secrets that were actually so big, they tried to swallow you whole.

It was weeks later, when you were cleaning up your room, that you found his letter. Those sweet poetic words on the lined paper…you swore, you could hear them being spoken by your beloved. You broke down and cried when you read his words of love. Your heart longed for him, and you ached so deep inside of you. 

Despite knowing it wouldn’t quite be the same, you tried desperately to get to know Vergil. But he had been so cold and so distant with you. It hurt so much. Though you knew the man you loved so dearly was somewhere inside of Vergil, you could never see it. It wasn’t the same.

It was Dante who tried to reassure you, but it was more difficult to get over this than you first thought. Vergil wasn’t what you thought he’d be. Sometimes, you wondered if he even had any of V’s memories. You’d blush when you realized that if he did have those memories, he would have known about the intimate moments you spent with V. But Vergil never let on that he knew anything. He spent most of his time ignoring you or giving you the cold shoulder.

This letter proved to be too much. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back. You needed to know, even if you recognized how impossible it would be, that you might see him again. It was a slim chance, for sure. You needed to hear someone tell you. You needed to hear the actual words from his damn mouth. 

You make your way to Devil May Cry, letter in hand. Vergil sits on the sofa, book in hand. You are reminded of your poetic lover immediately. Slowly, you walk up to him. Your heart is in your throat at this point. Something about this man was so much more intimidating than you’d like to admit. He made you feel a certain way, but you couldn’t really put your finger on it. It was something new, something exciting.

“I…need to talk to you.” You manage to stutter. 

Vergil looks up at you, and you swear you see love in his eyes when your eyes lock. You blush, looking down at your feet, but you pass him the letter. You don’t know what else to do. He’s confused at first, but then he reads it thoroughly. His eyes scan the lined paper, reading every word. Then, his eyes fall back to yours. Vergil isn’t sure how to respond. You look so sad with tears in your eyes. He has a flash of some of V’s memories and it hurts him.

“Maybe you think I’m foolish,” you finally break the silence. “I need to know if I’m ever going to see him again.”

You try your best to stifle your crying, but Vergil feels your sadness deep inside of him. He’s grown to love you through V’s memories and just getting to know you casually. He knows he’s not the easiest person to get along with, and all the pushing away he’s done to you was to protect you from getting your heart broken. You remind him of a happier time in his life. When he doesn’t actually answer you, you scoff softly.

“Answer me. Tell me I’ll never see him again. Break my fucking heart, Vergil.”

Vergil stutters and he’s at a loss for words. How can he tell you the truth? How can he even begin to explain? He moves a few steps closer to you, but you put your hand out to stop him.

“I love him. I love him so fucking much. You wouldn’t even understand,” you try to walk away, but you feel his cold grip on your wrist. It’s gentle, and he tugs you closer to him.

With your head now on his chest, you begin to sob. Fat tears roll down your cheeks as you cry. Vergil struggles with how to console you, so he decides only to hold you. Every little breath and sniffle makes his heart ache. He hates to see you like this. He knows he should have done better.

“No…”

“God dammit! Is that all you have to say to me?” You finally look up at him, and this is what makes him snap.

He presses his lips to yours in a passionate kiss. All the emotions that had built up between the two of you finally bubbled up. Vergil couldn’t hold it in any longer. Those long nights alone in his room with V’s memories, he saw everything. Every little kiss, every little touch. He could hear those damn words you shared. And of course, he knew about those intimate moments. Vergil craved you so much, he wanted you so badly.

“Why does that matter anymore, sparrow? I’m…I’m right here. He’s me. I’m him.”

You can’t help but gasp. Your eyes are wide and filled with tears. It was true. He was that same man you fell for. Though it was different in so many ways, it still was the same man. You nuzzled your face in his chest, another soft sob falling from your lips.

“You won’t see him again, but that’s only because it’s me. It’s always been me, sparrow.”

He softly presses his hand on your back, rubbing so soothingly. Vergil has never shown you affection like this, but you knew that the words he spoke were true. They weren’t lies. They weren’t the words of Dante who tiptoed around the touchy subject. They were the actual truth.

“Vergil…” You whine, unsure of how to respond. He cups your cheek, and you look up into those beautiful eyes.

“I tried to fight it at first, thinking it wasn’t fair to you, but I couldn’t. I’ve fallen for you. You have no idea how much I love you,”

“B-but,” and he only silences your concerns with another sweet kiss. This time, his tongue slides into your mouth.

Your heart races in your chest as you try to come to terms with what’s going on. Your mind is screaming for you to stop, but you want to keep this going on so desperately. You fully submit yourself to this kiss, your hands reaching up to touch him anywhere you can reach.

Without another word, he picks you up and carries you to his room. You stay cradled in his arms until he sets you gently down on the bed. You want to say something, but you can’t even think of something to say right now. His lips are on yours, making your head spin.

“I’ve missed you, darling. I know this may be different from what you are used to, but I promise I’ll show you the love you deserve.”

His words send chills down your spine. You shudder in his arms and he smiles shyly. It will be new in a way. You know that he won’t have the tattoos. He’s even bigger than your poetic lover, but there is some familiarity there. You can sense that need and urgency that V used to have for you. Like it was your last moment together.

“I love you,” you finally confess. You know maybe it’s wrong to say it to Vergil, but it was the truth. You loved the humanity in him, so you knew you could love the other side of him.

“I feel the same,” he whispers; another kiss pressed to your lips.

The two of you frantically begin undressing each other, trying so hard to touch each other so wantonly. His hands were rough but they still felt so good on your skin.

You blush when you realize that this is the first time that Vergil sees you naked and you see him naked. You know he’s technically seen you naked in a way, but this is different. He smirks when he sees you checking him out. You bite your lip, and he’s chuckling.

“I know it’s not what you’re expecting.”

Your mouth waters when you see his large member. His cock that stands erect, leaking precum. It’s on display for you, sending jolts of arousal coursing through you.

He presses you against the mattress, kissing you desperately and hungrily now. It’s like a different man is in this bed with you. You have no complaints. All of this is driving you crazy. You know you can find that comfort within Vergil.

“Do you want me?” he asks, his hand trailing down to your thighs. He presses it on your mound, then his fingers ghost on your wet folds.

“Yes, I do. I need you.”

“That’s my girl.” These words confirm it for you. You know it’s your lover. It’s truly him.

Tears well up in your eyes again, and Vergil wipes them away. He takes his time with his fingers, rubbing them up and down your wet slick. He doesn’t remember the last time he has felt this aroused. But he knows that he’s felt this way with you before; no, not him…but,

“Please, Vergil. Don’t tease me.” You plead, and he swallows hard. Those sweet words are too good.

“I won’t tease you,” his fingers slip into you with ease, making you cling to his arm.

It felt different, but oh so similar. It was hard to explain and you could barely wrap your brain around it. Those thoughts are swiftly pushed away when you feel him curling his fingers deep inside of you.

“O-oh…” you bite your lip again, your eyes fluttering shut. He cups your chin and makes you look into his eyes.

“Look at me, sparrow. Please, look at me,”  It’s hypnotic. You can’t look away now.

No matter how embarrassed you might be about looking into his eyes while he fucks you with his fingers to that intense orgasm, you could never shut your eyes to such sweet pleading.

Vergil finds himself feeling so proud that he still knows all those sweet spots inside of you. His thumb swipes against your swollen clit in just the way he knows you love it. Your sweet whines get captured in those heated kisses.

“Cum for me, sparrow. Let go for me,”

The coil in your stomach snaps and you cling to him, desperate for this sweet release. You whine and whimper his name as you shake and shudder in his arms. Your juices soak his fingers as your walls clench around them.

It’s only when you’re trying to push him away that he stops his movements. He lays you down completely on the bed, and slots himself between your thighs. Vergil grasps his cock, rubbing the head between your folds. He knows he has no chance in hell to last long, but that doesn’t matter to him anymore.

“I love you so much, sparrow. I’m going to protect you and keep you safe. I’ll be yours forever,”

“I love you so much, Vergil.”

He pushes into you, making the two of you gasp at the sudden intense pleasure. Slowly, more and more of him slips into you until he is balls deep inside of you. You’re both panting as the pleasure grows and leaves you both so dizzy with lust.

“You feel so good,” he whines. His large hands cup your thighs and he guides you to wrap your legs around him.

“You do too,”

Vergil begins a slow and deep pace, making sure to reach all those spots that leave you reeling. Your hands caress his back, then go down to cup his ass to pull him even closer. He moans loudly, his head resting on your chest as he fucks you a little harder.

“I won’t last long,” he confesses, his eyes shut tight. His cheeks burn as he realizes how stupid that was.

“It’s okay. Let go for me, my love.”

That’s all it takes for him to come undone. It’s so beautiful to see him in the throes of pleasure and passion like this. You coo the sweetest words of love for him as he pumps shot after shot of his thick, hot cum into you. He shudders as the last wave hits him, and he slumps on top of you.

Your fingers run through his hair, and you kiss the top of his head. You feel his lips latching onto one of your nipples, and you smile softly.

“I’m so happy that I got to love him, because it led me to you.”

A soft whimper falls from his lips, “I’m happy too, sparrow. You have no idea.”

And from now on, you know that you’ll see him again. Because he’s always right there in front of you.

[sarcasticsra]

The more I think on it I have exactly 0 qualms with Rue’s actions

Like they didn’t know Hob’s mission until ep 6 at the end, and there was that moment of surprise that it was his victories that led to the almost engagement - that was an interesting moment, especially as they tell him he was used. Rue knows plenty about being used

Also the conversation got cut away from right as Hob asked if Rue or Binx knew who had done it, likely for dramatic effect

Rue’s letter after the masquerade ball talks about wanting to KNOW Hob - what would’ve happened if that letter had actually been delivered? Would they have had a version of this conversation then?

And seriously like why THIS engagement? Why was this the one they had to break up? What was different about it? There had to be something, right??? I suppose it could just be a “straw that breaks the camel’s back” sort of thing, and it seemed like they were maybe thinking of revealing themselves at this Bloom anyway and meeting Hob tipped the scales, but I gotta know what sparked it

But no matter what it was - this is a being who was ripped from their home and made to be what this court wanted them to be, and they contorted themself into that box for millennia, working painstakingly to ensure everyone else around them might know love, or happiness, all the while being kept at arm’s length in their own court because of their origins

And something, whatever it was, finally made them go, “enough!”

That’s fucking revolutionary

And it happened before the engagement was even officially announced. Still scandalous, sure, but at least gives the goblin court plausible deniability

The whole season has had significant themes of This System Sucks so I’m just not overly Concerned about the reputation of the courts

Particularly not of a court that has been happy to use and abuse a member to the point where he gets so close to almost DYING because he won’t remove the DAMN ARROWS FROM HIS BACK out of his misguided sense of honor and service (that they knowingly take advantage of)

Hob, who has also been an outsider, who has dealt with that by fully sublimating his own sense of self, a full on trauma response

Who danced with someone 6 or 8 times and could only think “how nice of them to take pity on me”

But god forbid someone inadvertently make his terrible court look bad lol

And that’s the point, isn’t it - they’re all terrible

Love and happiness are not important, only perception, and power, and influence

The only one not obsessed with power and status is Binx’s court, and they got consumed, an easy target that wasn’t even trying to fight back, was just trying to do their own thing

Years and years and years of do this, say that, smile here, play nice, don’t upset the system, most too entrenched in their own survival mechanisms to do anything but go along

Which is fair enough, but let’s not hold the person trying to change things responsible for the failures of the system they’re trying to change

If people don’t feel like they have a choice, that’s the courts’ fault

And dismantling the courts is the only way out

Rue might be one of the only ones capable of that

After all, the Chorus knows the power they hold. That’s why they wanted them to join

Burn it all down, Rue

They have it coming

[short-skirt-longjackett]

Hello! Ik you might be busy with writing other stuff so you can get to this whenever you want but I was wondering if I could request a trans!reader x Dwayne, maybe like they were friends as kids and y/n eventually came out to Dwayne and the Hoovers- maybe a little conflict with Richard being his usual Richard-y self or something and saying something kinda outta pocket or mjsgendering y/n. Can be masc, fem, or androgynous!! Also both hc style writing or just like usual story is fine, I'm sure I'd enjoy either <3 sorry this is long have a great day!! (Also sorry if this kind if a strange request lolz)

(Yay my first dwyane request thank you anon!!! i love this request :,) )

-Dwayne Hoover x gn!reader

-warnings: transphobic talk from Richard

Growing up Dwayne was and still is your best friend :)

You two are attached to the hip and that's how you like to keep it

Growing up you guys always had play dates, the same classes, and going to each other's houses for dinner

You families knew each other well and loved seeing you two together, they kinda suspected you guys liked each other and who knew they'd be right

When you start dating it was still the same as before, but now loving gazes and small pecks on the cheek were added

Y'all loved it that way

But you feel... away from yourself. When trying on clothes, you didn't feel feminine or masculine enough. You didn't like how it made you feel.

You couldn't pinpoint but you didn't like yourself and then you start to feel off or upset when someone would refer to you as she/he...

You didn't some deep diving and self-exploring to figure out you are nonbinary and go by they/them pronouns

Then it came to tell Dwayne...you were so nervous and couldn't help but cry when telling him. You didn't want him to break up with you or think you're weird

Though at this time it was 4 months into his vow of silence, he had to be there for you, he gave you a tight hug "Listen, I don't care what you identify as. I don't mean that in a mean way but in a way that I fell for you because of your personality and you being you. You're still funny, smart, caring, and perfect to me..." he whispered into your ear.

You smiled, you haven't heard his voice in so long, but this was nice, but you wouldn't tell anyone he talked

If you have a preferred name, he will use it!

Though he won't speak he'll correct everyone that misgenders you or uses your wrong name

After the whole Little Miss Sunshine incident, Dwayne came home talking! This was such a nice surprise but his dreams of being a pilot were crushed...But you guys talked about everything that happened on the trip.

But this is the first family dinner back and without their grandfather...but everyone seemed changed, but one person really hasn't

“So what did you get up to when we were gone Y/n?” Sheryl asked you, helping Olive get her salad ready. “Oh nothing much, just kinda waited for you guys to get back.” you said, eating your food.

“That was quite the adventure wasn’t everyone?” Frank asked, laughing a bit afterwards. “What’s your name again...Y/n right? Could you pass me salad bowl?” Frank asks you and you nodded, handing the bowl to him.

“You know Y/n..I remember seeing pictures of you when you were younger and you always looked so cute dressed in dresses/overalls….What made you change that huh?” Richard asked looking at you.

No words could come out your mouth and you couldn’t bare to look at Richard. Why would he say that?

“Richard, stop it.” Sheryl looked at him with a look of disapproval.

“What it’s a simple question? Before all this they they crap it was normal she/he!” he exclaimed, this was the final straw.

The tears in your eyes fell, you sniffled as you said, “I’m gonna go to the bathroom…” getting up out of your seat as quickly as you could and walked to the bathroom, trying not to slam the door.

This was the straw that broke the camel’s back for Dwayne, “Don’t you ever say that again asshole! Just shut the hell up!” Dwayne yelled, getting out of his seat and making his way toward you.

You cried into your hands, why was he saying this shit to you?! Why now?! You then heard knocking on the door.

“Y/n…open the door, it’s me..” Dwayne’s voice said. You opened the door and he pulled you into a hug immediately.

“I’m so sorry… I don’t know why he did that but i yelled at him for you..” Dwayne mumbled, caressing your back as you cried. He didn’t know what it mean to be misgendered but he could only hear the pain in your voice as you cried.

“Just know I care about for who you are know, not who you were before…I love you Y/n..” he kissed your cheek. You couldn’t help but smile, Dwayne didn’t say those three words often cause he showed his affection in other ways but when he did say it he meant it.

“I love you Dwayne…you’re amazing you know that?” you asked, kissing his cheek. He shook his head as he smiled.

Dwayne wanted to protect you, always and forever.

[bonkie-barnes]

Spoons

natasha romanoff x gn!reader

word count: 2.1k

warnings: chronic illness, mention of medicine, self deprecating thoughts

A/N: this is me 1000% projecting about my guilt that comes with my chronic illnesses. they're kicking my ass rn. this is a vent fic, but if you resonate with this at all, i hope you enjoy :)

- - -

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The alarm clock on Natasha’s bedside table has been going off for a full minute already. You merely roll over and cover your head with Natasha’s pillow. It smells like her.

You have absolutely no energy to get up, let alone reach across the bed to turn the alarm off. Your head feels heavy and your body aches something terrible.

The list of chores you have to do around the house today sits uncomfortably in the back of your mind. The list of friends who have texted you about making plans to hang out sits there too. The idea of staying in bed all day sounds more and more appealing by the second. You know this because the alarm is still blaring into the otherwise peaceful morning air.

Just as you’re gathering the strength to sit up and turn the alarm off, Natasha walks in. She looks at her watch and her brow furrows in confusion.

“What are you doing, sleepyhead?” she asks you with a little smirk. There is concern in her eyes, though she masks it well.

You’re both fully aware the alarm has been going off for seven minutes straight now.

“Just tired, love. You know how much work it takes to reach over,” you say in a joking manner, hopeful that you can get past this without worrying her too much.

Natasha eyes you suspiciously for a second before giving in.

“How was your workout?” you ask her sincerely.

As she starts rambling about her morning activities, you feel a sense of shame. You’ve barely managed to wake up in the time it’s taken her to complete a full workout routine. Hell, you couldn’t even find it in you to turn the alarm off.

You finally focus on her rant as it comes to an end. Natasha is looking at you expectantly. Shit. She’s asked you a question.

“Huh?” you grunt.

She chuckles before answering, “I asked if you were ever going to get up and get in the shower, stinky.”

You put on a fake smile but fail to meet her eyes, the shame eating you up. It has been a few days since your last shower, but it’s just so hard to find the strength and energy to get up and stand in one place for more than a minute or two.

If Natasha notices the far away look in your eyes and the grimace on your mouth, she doesn’t say anything.

After one of the quickest and most unproductive showers you’ve ever taken, you find Natasha waiting for you in the kitchen. She’s taken it upon herself to make breakfast for you both.

You kiss her cheek and thank her as you sit down at the table. The warm cup of coffee she sets down in front of you is a godsend. The warmth emitting from the cup helps to diminish the pain in your knuckles, if only slightly. You send up a silent prayer to whomever might be listening that the caffeine will help with the fatigue today instead of making you sick.

Natasha sits down in the chair next to you with her own plate. She runs her eyes over you in a scrutinizing manner. She wants to think you don’t notice, but you do.

Clearing your throat in hopes to take her focus off you, you ask about her plans for the day.

“Oh, you know, mostly just busy work. I have a ton of paperwork to get through,” she tells you through an exaggerated sigh. “What about you?”

The list of chores screams at you again. “Mostly just some things around the house. Grocery shopping, laundry, boring shit like that.”

Natasha hums around a sip of her coffee. It surprised you just how much cream and sugar she takes in hers. It’s just one of the many unpredictable things about her that made you fall in love.

“Super exciting. I hate to miss out,” she teases you.

You crack a smile to appease her. Inside, though, you realize just how little she understands. These errands seem so simple to her, when to you, they are the most daunting of tasks.

You’re brought out of your thoughts by Natasha standing up to take her plate to the sink. She comes back to kiss your cheek and let you know she’s going to go get ready, before walking out of the room.

You suspect the amount of housework you’ll get done today will be minimal, so you decide to at least make Natasha some lunch. Maybe it will lessen the disappointment she feels when she comes home to see everything exactly as it was when she left, you think.

Your plan is halted as you’re making her sandwich. The stupid cover on the peanut butter jar is stuck. You can’t open it for the life of you. The guilt comes in like a tidal wave. You can’t even do something as simple as make lunch for her, your brain supplies for you.

Natasha returns from getting ready to see you standing in the kitchen with a glare on your tired face.

“What’d the peanut butter do to you this time,” she jokes.

“I can’t.” Tears well up in your eyes.

She comes up to wrap you in a hug from behind. She softly asks, “What can’t you do?”

“I can’t open the jar,” you mutter softly, feeling overwhelmingly embarrassed.

“It’s okay, love. Let me help,” she tells you delicately before kissing the spot under your ear. She can tell this is affecting you more than usual and wishes for nothing more than to be able to take away your distress.

You mutter a thank you before continuing to make her sandwich. You pack everything into a bag and write a small note to finish it off. You know Natasha loves the little messages you leave her periodically, and nothing will stop you from trying to make her as happy as you can.

Goodbyes are said as you both wander closer to the door. Natasha makes sure to hold you longer and tighter than usual. You don’t comment on that.

The silence that encompasses the room as soon as the love of your life leaves is suffocating. You can feel the exhaustion from purely getting up and getting ready creeping up on you. Logically, you know that you shouldn’t overexert yourself, but the shame is eating you up. Already on a roll, might as well keep on going, you think to yourself.

You go back to your mental to-do list and debate what to start with. The grocery store doesn’t sound terrible. Some sun would do you some good. It’s been a few days since you’ve seen the world that exists outside of your house.

Wandering back to the bedroom to get your phone and shoes, you try to push the fatigue from your mind. In your attempt to block out the tiredness, you fail to recognize the ever-present pain in your joints increasing. It’s only when you sit down and bend over to put your shoes on that you register the feeling. Your hips ache severely; so much so, that you can’t hold your position long enough to get your shoe on your foot.

This seems to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back, seeing as you immediately burst into tears. The pain mixed with your inability to do basic, everyday activities completely overwhelms you as you break down.

There’s absolutely no chance that you’re going to complete this task, let alone all the other ones on your list. You let out a sigh as you stand up and shuffle to your room, phone and shoes forgotten in the living room.

You let the weight of your emotions crush you as you climb into bed and under the covers, your wife’s pillow clutched closely to your chest.

Your tears cease to stop, even as you succumb to the sleep you so desperately wished to hold onto this morning.

- - -

Natasha comes home to an eerily silent house. On any typical day, she would come home to the noise of your favorite show or music softly playing, whether it be from a speaker or from your guitar. Your shared house consistently was filled with life and sound. It was one of her favorite parts of her day; coming home to you in your own element, laughing or singing. You are her home.

This newfound silence has her exceptionally worried. Even on your bad days, there was at least a laugh track coming from the TV or the smell of hot chocolate coming from the kitchen. Now, there’s absolutely nothing. For a split second, Natasha thinks that you may never have come back from the grocery. Her heart rate spikes. The sight of your phone on the coffee table and your shoes strewn haphazardly on the floor puts those worries to rest.

“Darling?” she calls from the entryway. There is no response. She carefully removes her boots and coat before moving through every room in the house, calling out for you softly in each.

She makes her way to the bedroom, lightly knocking on the door as she lets herself in. She sees the rise and fall of your chest and is filled with a sense of relief she didn't know she needed.

"Love? Are you awake?"

You grumble out an answer that could be understood as a 'yes'.

Natasha carefully sits down on the side of the bed that you are facing.

"Can you tell me what's going on?" she requests softly, in fear of upsetting the quiet environment of the bedroom and making things worse.

The tears that started up again when you wife called out the first time get even heavier somehow.

"Oh love, come here."

She carefully gathers you in her arms and rests your head on her chest.

"Does this have anything to do with the peanut butter jar this morning?"

You nod. One of your favorite things about your wife is her ability to observe and understand what you're going through.

"I just can't do anything today. Everything hurts and I'm so, so tired," you whisper, followed by a heartbreaking sob.

"It's okay love. Please don't cry," Natasha whispers back.

"But it's not! It's not okay!" You sit up from her chest to let out your rant. "You've done so much today and I could barely wake up. You work so hard and I should be able to do stuff around the house so you can come home and not have to worry about anything," you finish with a sigh.

Your wife puts her hand under your chin, forcing you to look in her direction. "Love, look at me. Believe me when I say that I don't care about the state of the laundry or if the pantry has been stocked. All I care about is you. All I want is for you to be okay. It's killing me that you feel like this and I can't do anything to take it away from you. What I can do, though, is tell you just how proud I am of you. You are the strongest person I know, and I work with the Avengers."

You giggled at that. Natasha smiles at your small second of happiness.

"Are you sure? Because I was going to get so much done today and I was trying to-"

Natasha cuts you off with a soft kiss.

"My love. Listen to me. All I care about is your health and happiness. If staying in bed and catching up on sleep is what you needed today, then that's all I expect from you. I never want you to hurt yourself trying to do more than you can. We all have limits. It’s okay to need a break some days. I love you and I am so very, very proud of you."

With a long look into her eyes, all you find is love and adoration directed towards you. There's no disgust or disappointment as you had anticipated.

"I love you too," you utter quietly.

Natasha smiles and leaves a long kiss on your forehead. "What if we got some pain killers and some food in you? We can even put on your favorite movie. Does that sound good?"

You nod. Natasha gets up to get you some medicine and to order some food, while you get your favorite movie loaded on the TV.

Later that night, when both your stomachs are full and your wife is obnoxiously singing along to the songs in the movie just to make you laugh, you realize just how loved you are.

You don't know how tomorrow will treat you, or the day after that. What you do know, however, is that Natasha will always be there to support and love you. Your pain level and ability to function is always an uncertainty, but your wife's love will never be.

- - -

A/N: as always, i try to keep it gender neutral. if you find a mistake, please let me know! feedback is appreciated! to all my chronic illness buddies out there: i love you, you've got this :)

taglist: @007giu

[6okuto]

Hey Nia! Can I just say you’re rewriting is amazing, especially for Last Legacy. I submitted a post last week and tumblr likes to delete mine for some reason. It was about Felix x Mc x Rime poly. While I love healthy and loving representation of Poly I can help but feel that Mc might feel insecure at times. I mean they know they love Mc but they have such an intense history that sometimes the Mc feel like they don’t fit in. can you maybe do headcanons on them finding out that the Mc feels like this. Thank you!

note: UR amazing #getgot #aprilfoolsprank FBSJFHB but tumblr is such a silly little website i think.

you know when you enter the cycle of little moments where you feel like you don't fit in/feel awkward, you get a little quieter, wait for it to end, then it settles in the back of your head and starts to culminate every time it happens again, and then you keep pulling away just to avoid it but then you just feel worse,, and then at some point it's the straw that breaks the camel's back (sends you into a bit of an insecure breakdown). yeah.

felix might want to take a bit to think about how to confront them but rime cancels it out. better to figure it out quicker, isn't it?

"mc, have you been feeling alright?" mc tenses and looks up from the couch at rime and felix, "...hm? yeah, why?" "well...we feel as though you've been distant recently."

"oh...well i've been a little busy recently." "you know we work and live together, right?" rime quirks a brow, noting that they definitely didn't have anything they had to work on right now.

"if something's bothering you then maybe we can help, love," felix says softly, noticing the tension in their shoulders. mc bites their lip a little, speaking softly back, "i don't want to ruin anything, is all."

rime and felix share a look at their word choice before rime slowly takes a seat next to them. "sweetheart, i'm almost 100% positive that there's nothing you could say that would 'ruin' anything."

"it's...dumb, really." "it's not dumb if it's making you feel this bad." "you can talk to us, darling."

ironing their will because it seems like there isn't an escape at this point, mc takes a breath to try to stop their wavering voice,

"sometimes i feel like i shouldn't be with you guys." seeing the expression on felix and rime's faces, mc's eyes widen and they stutter, "sorry, that—not because i don't want to be. it's just, like..."

"i know you both love me, but it doesn't change the fact you knew each other way longer than you've known me. and i know you can't change that, and i know that doesn't mean you love me any less. but sometimes i listen to you guys talk about stuff i wasn't there for and i almost feel like i'm...intruding? like maybe you'd be better without me there."

"that's why i've been acting distant lately...i didn't want either of you to worry or feel guilty or anything, so, i don't know. i'm sorry."

there's a null that followers after their apology as all 3 of them sit and process what they said

felix gets it. rime probably gets it, too, in his own way. all of them have dealt with a fear that maybe they don't fit in, or they've missed out on something, that something with them is...wrong

mc is about to apologize again, for making things awkward or bringing it up, but then felix wraps his arms around them, pulling their face into his chest

"i'm sorry you didn't feel comfortable bringing this up sooner." "...it wasn't your fault, felix." "maybe, but i still wish we were able to make you feel safer."

mc looks down and starts to play with their hands, not going unnoticed by rime.

"hey," he tilts their head up at him. he runs his knuckles across their cheek and holds their face as they lean into his hand, "felix and i might have memories from the academy, but it isn't like we aren't going to make more with you, you know."

"and i think that'll be a lot better for him considering anytime i try to bring up an embarrassing story he wants to hit me." "because you're a menace." "weren't you two the ones who said violence isn't the answer?"

mc laughs at that, making felix and rime turn. they both smile knowing that they feel a little better now, even if the guilt hasn't completely washed away.

"wanna make some memories right now?" "rime." "what? i was talking about getting lunch—what were you two thinking of?" "maybe i really should break up with you" "you wouldn't even dream of that."

^ but seriously, they make sure to think of things to do with mc that their school days couldn't compare to . anytime they notice they're reminiscing while mc watches, one of them starts to include them into the conversation somehow. like, rime glancing over and going "mc, darling, tell felix over here that his plan was not smart or thought out in any way possible."

just a couple of considerate loving guys u know.

tags // @evanox @felixescellun @rimeliker @demon-paradise @pst-02 @diamo-chan @chubbywasouski @god-is-trans @sweet-milky-tea705 @felixismytrophywife @bananacockatiel @yoyo-campfire @felinvu @sleezzsister @lonelylittlecowboy @hestia-marie @lordbugs @azahelmz

the taglist form :D