#i need this season to be over and i also need to sleep
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
soaps-mohawk · 1 day ago
Text
Cherry Red, Crimson Blood
Chapter 42: Comfort and Joy
Summary: Tis the season to be jolly...
Pairing: Poly 141 x reader
Word Count: 8, 417 words
Warnings: Alpha/beta/omega dynamics, omegaverse, alternate universe, slight angst at the beginning, blood and disturbing imagery, nightmares, PTSD, lots of comfort, holidays
A/N: Yes, CRCB is getting its holiday episode. Something holly and jolly before Christmas, some sweet comfort for the last chapter of this year. It's kind of rough but I don't hate it. I hope everyone feels the same. Happy Holidays to everyone
MASTERLIST | <- Previous | Next ->
Tumblr media
It’s quiet in the house. 
There’s a stillness in the air that seeps into your very soul. The only light is from the street light outside. Your father never allowed you a nightlight despite your fear of the dark. You weren’t allowed to show such weakness in front of him. God forbid his family have any flaws. 
You’re the flawed one. 
It’s too quiet in the house, not even your brothers’ snoring audible in the tense quiet that has settled over your safe space. It has your breathing shallow so as to not disturb the heaviness in the air. Your sister is asleep in the bed across the room, tucked under the blankets safely. Sleep evades you however, something tickling in the back of your mind. 
Something is off. Something is wrong. 
“Hannah.” You whisper, disturbing the darkness in favor of not feeling so alone in the oppressive silence. “Hannah.” 
Yet your sister does not stir, showing no sign of even acknowledging a disturbance as she sleeps deeply. You bite your lip, sinking back further under your covers. You could wake one of your brothers, but the likelihood of one of them helping ease your fear is small. They’ll just usher you back to bed and tell you to grow up. You could attempt to rouse your mother, but that runs the risk of also waking your father. If nothing is wrong, it will be your doom. 
Maybe it’s all just in your head. Some terror brought on by a lingering nightmare. 
You need to get up. You can’t lay in the darkness anymore. 
So you rise from the safety of your blankets, padding silently across the wood and out into the hallway. There’s a nightlight allowed out here to prevent stumbling in the dead of night. There’s nothing in the hallway, no silent spectre waiting to grab whoever leaves their room first. You creep silently down the hallway towards the black gaping maw of the living room waiting just beyond the edges of the light. 
You stand there at the end of the hallway, gazing into the darkness for a moment. It’s not truly dark, light filtering in through the curtains from the streetlights outside. Yet the darkness feels thicker than it ever has before as you stand there, waiting for a shadow to move. 
Nothing moves, and after a breath you turn to the left, cutting through the dining room straight towards the kitchen. It’s darker in here, cut off from the street, yet you navigate it with ease. You’ve spent many nights navigating through the darkness, creeping around the house when you can’t sleep. 
You enter the kitchen, heading for the cupboard that holds the cups. Your mother used to give you warm milk when you couldn’t sleep. Sometimes you’d rise to find her awake, sitting in the living room. Sometimes she’d be crying. Sometimes she’d just be sitting with the lamp on, staring into the distance. 
It always made you wonder what she was thinking about. 
You stand on your toes, reaching up for a glass. It nearly falls and hits the counter but you manage to catch it, preventing what would no doubt be a crisis. You let out a breath before moving to the sink, filling the glass up. You stare out the small window that shows nothing but the fence between your house and the neighbors. All the houses are the same, built after the same model with the same green grass out front. It’s like a movie set, some suburban setting for a drama or a horror movie. 
The oppressive darkness feels like a horror movie. 
You turn to head back to your room, but you’re stopped by a figure standing in the entrance to the kitchen. You can just make it out, large and looming in the darkness. For a moment you think it’s your father, awakened by something, some instinct telling him there’s something moving around in the house. It’s not the right size to be your father, though, too tall and long. 
You stumble back towards the light switch, your fingers shaking as you flip it on. 
“Phil?” You ask quietly, staring at your father’s best friend in shock. You haven’t seen him in almost two years. 
His mouth opens in a haunting grin, blood pouring down his chin. You stare in horror as blood soaks into his white shirt, dripping onto the floor below. The cup slips from your hand, shattering on the floor as his hand wraps around the knife stuck in the side of his neck, pulling it free. Blood sprays across the white cupboards, painting them like some gruesome work of art. 
“Look...what you did...to me...” Phil says, his voice nothing more than a gurgling wheeze. 
He reaches out a blood soaked hand towards you, sending you stumbling back. Glass cuts into the bottoms of your feet, sending shards of white hot pain up your legs. You don’t care, too busy trying to evade the bloody hand trying to grab at you. You slip in the water on the floor, falling backwards, the back of your head seconds from hitting the side of the counter...
“Easy, easy.” 
Arms are around you, holding you tightly as you sob. Your feet are burning as you sit there on the kitchen floor. It’s not the kitchen in your old home, though, it’s the kitchen in the cottage. Your feet are burning with sharp stabs of pain. There’s water soaking into your pajama pants. 
“You’re alright.” 
The light is on, raining down bright yellow light from overhead. You hate it, the oppressive light burning your eyes. You squeeze them closed, trying to ease the pounding in your head that pulses in time with your heart. 
“...sleepwalking I think...” 
Voices float in and out as you sit there, leaning back against something solid and warm. There’s arms around you, holding you tightly, your own arms trapped up against your chest. You tilt your head back, resting it back against the solid warmth. 
“Almost hit her head...” 
“Move her to the couch...”
Tumblr media
“It’s not that uncommon during times of extreme stress.” 
You wince as another tiny piece of glass is pulled from your foot. 
“Even if someone has never experienced sleepwalking before, it can start at any age.” 
“Is this something we need to worry about now?” 
“It’s hard to say.” Dr. Keller dabs at your foot with a damp towel streaked with pink from your blood. “It’s one of those things we’ll just have to wait and see if it was a one-time thing or if it will become a regular occurance.” She dabs at your feet with the towel before shining the flashlight on them again. “You want to talk about the nightmare?” 
She’s talking to you now. 
“No.” You say, the word strained and weak from your lips. Your face feels tight from the tears you had shed in your confusion and delirium. The nightmare is still fresh on your mind, replaying like some sick television show, over and over in your head. 
She gives you a look, but doesn’t press anymore. She won’t ask again, not in front of your pack at least. 
She lets your feet rest on the coffee table before moving closer to you. Her hands cup the back of your head, pressing down on certain spots. “Does your head hurt?” 
“No.” You say, ignoring the throbbing behind your eyes. 
“Well, thanks to Kyle’s quick reflexes, I think we’ve avoided a concussion.” She says, turning to Kyle. “How’s your hand?” 
“Fine.” He says from where he’s sitting next to you, flexing his fingers. “I’ll take aches and pains if it prevents a hospital visit.” 
“That’s the last thing we need right now.” John says. 
You can’t help but wince at his words. 
If he notices, he doesn’t say anything. 
“Thankfully there wasn’t any serious damage.” Dr. Keller says, wrapping your feet in gauze. “Just try to take it easy for a couple of days. Walking isn’t going to feel very good for a while.” 
Tumblr media
“Do you want to talk about it?” 
“Not really.” 
“I think it might be good to talk about it.” 
“You’re as bad as Dr. Keller.” 
“Well, she and I agree that holding everything in isn’t going to help anything.” Kyle says, taking the seat next to you. “We just want to help you.” 
“Unless you can crawl into my mind and fix my memories, I don’t think you can help with this.” You say bitterly. 
“Well, I can’t do that, but I can listen.” He gives you a look. 
You choose to ignore it. 
He continues to stare at you as you turn your gaze out the window. It’s raining again, light droplets hitting the window. You can feel yourself beginning to crack as he continues to stare at you, his gaze not sharp and prying, but instead soft and inviting. He really wants to know, not out of curiosity or need, but because he cares. He wants to help, even if it’s just listening. 
Can you be brave enough to share? 
“I woke up in bed, but not in the cottage. I was in bed at the house we lived in before I was sent to the institution.” You swallow the lump in your throat threatening to choke you and cut off your words. “It was the house we moved to shortly after Phil left. I remember feeling something was off after I woke up, something was wrong but I couldn’t figure it out.” Your mouth suddenly feels dry. “I went to the kitchen to get some water and Phil appeared there in the darkness. He...” 
You trail off for a moment, the memory of what he had looked like in your dream sending a spike of fear through you. You had thought the one positive of Phil being dead was that he couldn’t haunt your dreams anymore. He’s not out there hunting you, seeking you out. He’s dead, burned to a crisp in that barn. You made sure of that. 
“He had a knife in his neck. He was bleeding.” Your voice shakes as tears prick behind your eyes. You hate it that you’re still crying over Phil and his hold on you even in death. “He said....he said ‘look what you did to me,’ and pulled the knife out. I dropped the glass of water and slipped in it. I was falling but then I woke up.” 
Kyle is silent after you finish, the quiet settling heavy between you, as heavy as it had felt in your dream. You know you sleep walked through part of your dream. You went to the kitchen for water and dropped the glass. You slipped in the puddle and nearly hit your head on the counter if Kyle hadn’t found you seconds before and cushioned your fall with his hand. Your feet still sting from stepping in the glass, even though the puncture wounds and cuts have mostly healed. 
A warm hand touches yours, fingers curling around yours. Kyle’s rough skin, calloused by handling weapons and fighting for so many years, drags against yours as he slowly lifts your hand away from the arm of the chair and up towards his face. His breath is warm as it hits your palm, his soft lips pressing against your skin. You turn to face him, tears still blurring your vision as you sit there, staring at him. 
“It was just a dream.” He murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to your palm. “No one is going to hurt you. Phil is gone and we’ll be damn sure nothing else can even try.” He presses your hand against his cheek, your fingers trembling against the smooth skin. “You have nothing to fear.” 
“Only what’s in my head.” You whisper. 
“What can we do? How can we help you defeat those demons plaguing you?” He asks, threading his fingers through yours. 
You stare at him for a while, taking in his face again. It feels like so long since you’ve really looked at them, since you’ve truly taken in their features. You’ve almost forgotten what they actually look like, your mind always conjuring up muddy images of their faces in your memories. 
You’ve forgotten just how pretty and perfect he really is. 
How...disarming his face is. 
“I don’t know.” You whisper, your thumb stroking his cheek. “I don’t know.” 
Tumblr media
The breeze is cold, whipping around you and biting at your cheeks. The blanket tucked tightly around you stops the wind from chilling you to your bones. You don’t care about the cold, your gaze out on the waves crashing against the shore. 
“Cold?” Johnny asks, tightening his hold around you. 
“No.” You say, fighting back a shiver as you lean further back against his chest. The last thing you want right now is to leave the beach. 
“Somethin’ tells me I shouldnae believe you.” He says, squeezing his body around yours. 
“Well, whatever it is, it’s wrong.” You say stubbornly, shoving your hands in your armpits to keep them warm. 
“Stubborn little thing.” He says, pressing a kiss to the side of your head. “Should be headin’ back soon anyway.” 
You let out a whine in protest, leaning your head back against his shoulder. “I want to stay here forever.” 
“I know.” He says, letting you go just enough to pull his phone out of his pocket. “Wish I could let ye.” 
You can’t stop the shiver that shakes through you at the loss of his warmth. It is cold and getting colder as the sky gets more grey overhead. The sun is going down, the darkness of the evening rolling in earlier and earlier every day. 
“Time to head back.” Johnny says, pocketing his phone. 
“Five more minutes.” You whine, trying to lay all of your weight against him. 
“I have direct orders to get you back stat.” He says, pushing himself up to stand. 
You let yourself flop back on the blanket you’ve been sitting on, looking up at him as you lay there in the sand. The wind is picking up, blowing some of it onto your face. You sputter, pulling yourself back up to sit. 
“Come on, kitten.” Johnny says, tucking his hands under your arms before lifting you to stand. “Let’s head back before it gets dark.” 
He brushes the sand off of your blanket before picking up the other one and shaking it. He drapes it over his arm before guiding you back up the path towards the car. You take one last look over your shoulder at the water before following him to the parking lot. 
It’s dusk when you get back to the cottage, the lights from inside glowing warmly through the windows. Johnny takes your hand, leading you up the steps and into the cottage. 
It’s warm inside, the rest of your pack moving around in the kitchen and dining area. You kick your boots off, passing your blanket off to Johnny before heading into the living area. The table is all made up, many dishes sitting out ready to be served, all of them looking very familiar.
“What is this?” You ask, stepping closer to the table. 
“It’s Thanksgiving.” Dr. Keller says, stepping out of the kitchen with a tray of meat in her hands. “I thought you might like to celebrate.” 
“Oh.” You stand there for a moment. You didn’t even realize what day it was. Time has been so strange with no phone or television to give you an idea of what day it is. It’s been moving quickly, almost four weeks since the day you were taken. “Is that why you let Johnny take me to the beach?” 
“We wanted to surprise you.” John says. “I know you don’t like surprises, but this felt like a more appropriate one.” 
“I don’t like surprises, but this is really sweet.” You move towards your normal seat at the table, looking at all of the dishes laid out. 
“We made all the classics, or at least as close as we could get with what we have available.” Dr. Keller says. 
“It’s pretty close, but then again I’ve only had Thanksgiving once.” Ashley says, coming out of the kitchen. You hadn’t even noticed her car parked outside. 
“Thank you for this.” You say, still a bit taken aback by the gesture. “I didn’t even know it was close to Thanksgiving. Time...time seems so weird now.” 
“A lot has happened in a short amount of time.” Dr. Keller says, rubbing your back. “That can skew how we perceive time passing.” 
“I also don’t have any way to tell time.” You shrug. 
Dr. Keller gives you a soft smile. “Well, we’ll see if we can rectify that.” 
Everyone takes their seats at the table in their usual spots, except for the extra chair next to Dr. Keller for Ashley. You recognize the strategic move, even if the rest of your pack pretends not to notice. Dr. Keller also pays it no mind, but you can’t help but notice the bashful look that flashes across her face when her hand brushes Ashleys as food gets passed around the table. 
You load up your plate, digging in almost immediately. You hadn’t realized how hungry you got down at the beach, not until you came back to a cacophony of delicious smells. It all tastes good, all of it throwing you back into reminders of your childhood and Thanksgivings with your family. While your father still had expectations of proper behavior from you and your siblings, it was tradition that he’d spend most of the day in his chair. Your mother did all of the cooking, you and your siblings helping when she’d allow. 
You never truly understood how much work she put into every holiday until you were older. 
Thanksgivings at the institute were never the same as Thanksgivings at home. You got the day off of course, and there always was a better meal that day with the classics, but it always felt so manufactured, not unlike the food on base. You never realized how much you missed home cooking until now. 
You never realized how much you missed your mothers food until now. 
Tears blur your eyes as you continue to eat, trying to distract yourself with heaping spoonfuls of food. 
“You doing alright?” 
Of course the one time John would notice your melancholic state would be right now. The entire table pauses, turning to look at you. You start to curl in on yourself, not wanting all the attention all at once on you. 
“Yeah.” You clear your throat, wiping the tear that betrays you and falls down your cheek. “Just tastes really good. Reminds me of my mom’s cooking.” 
The words slip out before you can stop them, tumbling out onto the table and landing among the mashed potatoes. Things suddenly feel very vulnerable, very raw. You wish you could grab the words, shove them back in and make them all forget your admission. You don’t want the soft stares, the sympathetic looks in their eyes, the understanding. You want to crawl under the table and hide until the moment passes. 
“I-I think I just missed home-cooked food.” You try to save the moment from growing more embarrassing for you. 
“I second that.” Johnny says, the tension in the room lightening just a bit. “Easy tae forget what good food tastes like sometimes.” 
“I’ll give it to the Americans.” Kyle says, recognizing your desire for the attention to be off of you at this moment. “They do know how to do a good feast.” 
“We can do more than good food.” Dr. Keller says, sounding almost offended. 
“Like Halloween.” Johnny says. “What I wouldnae give to have an American Halloween.” 
“You just want an excuse to eat candy until you’re sick.” Simon rumbles. 
“I wan’ tae do more than that.” Johnny gives him a look. “Costumes, the parties, trick or treatin’. All of it.” 
“Maybe we’ll have to take you to America next Halloween.” Dr. Keller says. “Let you get a proper taste of the holiday.” 
Next Halloween. 
You’re not even thinking a week ahead, much less a year. You’re not even sure the others have thought much about what the next few months will look like. Where will you all be in a year? You can’t stay at the cottage forever, as much as you would enjoy it. At some point a decision has to be made. Where do the five of you go from here? 
The conversation begins to lighten, the attention thankfully being drawn off of you again. That doesn’t save you from John’s gaze, though, his eyes flicking up to you every so often. You try not to meet that gaze, keeping your eyes down on your plate as you eat until you’re stuffed full. Yet you can’t help but look up when his gaze lingers too long, when your omega shifts under the scrutinizing gaze of an alpha. He’s trying to read you like he used to be able to. You wish you could hide better from him, but you’ll never be able to truly keep your thoughts and feelings under wraps. 
Not from him. 
You’re banned from the kitchen as food is cleaned up and placed in the fridge and dishes are washed. Instead you find yourself on the couch, staring into the flickering flames of the fire. Kyle takes a seat next to you, sitting down with a quiet groan. 
“How are you?” He asks, draping his arm on the back of the couch behind you. 
“Fine.” You say, still turned to face the fire. “Full.” 
He lets out a quiet chuckle. “Same. Don’t think I’ve been this full in a long time.” 
“That’s the point of the holiday.” You say. “Eat until you pass out.” That’s what your father used to do, slipping into a food coma after dinner in his chair. As much as you hate him, you do miss those quiet evenings where you could loosen up and not care about his calculating gaze. 
“Feeling tired?” He asks, and you can feel his questioning gaze hitting the side of your head. 
“No,” You respond, and it’s the truth. There’s far too much going on in your head to even nap right now. 
It falls silent for a few moments, only the sounds from the kitchen and the crackling of the fire breaking the silence. You’re far away in your thoughts, replaying the last few weeks over and over in your head. 
“Penny for your thoughts?” John asks, breaking you from your reverie. He takes a seat on the other couch, facing you. 
“Just thinking about how much time has passed.” You answer, tucking your knees up close to your chest. “It’s been almost a year and yet it feels like it’s only been a few weeks.” 
John hums. “You would have been with the CIA already by this time.” 
You nod. “Yeah. I was picked up just after Halloween. Didn’t really have Christmas last year. The CIA wasn’t exactly the most festive place. They had bigger things to worry about.” 
“Did you miss it, Christmas?” He asks. 
“Well, yeah. Of course, even if we didn’t really celebrate much in the institute either. We didn’t have any gifts to give each other outside of things we were supplied with by the institute. They didn’t really bother decorating either. We got the day off, of course, and we had a nicer meal than usual, but it wasn’t really some big festive celebration.” You shrug. “It was always a big deal in my house. It was my mom’s favorite holiday.” 
You cut yourself off before the emotions can get to be too heavy. You’ve already almost lost it once in front of them today. The last thing you want is to risk that again. You’ve spilled too many words already. The last thing you want is to spill more. 
John’s gaze leaves you to look at Kyle next to you, the two of them sharing a silent conversation. You’ve always envied their abilities to speak to each other without words. You wish you could know them that well, you wish you could understand them on that level. You wish you shared the bonds they have with each other. You’ll always be the odd man out, the outsider. You’ll never have that closeness, that ease with which they exist around each other. 
You’re beginning to see it again, the fluidity between them, moving around each other without needing to look, always aware of the others. Here you are again, on the outside of that once more. Things really have gone back to the way they were before, back when things were new and foreign and unknown. You’re an unknown factor in this dynamic again, all of them tiptoeing around you like you might explode if they get too close, if they push those boundaries again. 
Part of you hates it. Part of you likes it. 
You’re not sure what to feel anymore. 
You tilt your head back, thumping it against Kyle’s hand. “Sorry.” You quickly sit yourself back up. “Done that twice now I guess.” 
“No need to apologize.” He says, his hand dropping to your shoulder to lean you back again. His hand gently cups the back of your head, rubbing soothing circles into your scalp with his fingers. 
You let out a content hum, your eyes fluttering closed. It falls silent between the three of you as Kyle slowly works you into a comfortable, content state. Your omega begins to almost purr contently, and for the first time in a while, she doesn’t feel quite so out of control. 
Tumblr media
The days start to make more sense as you now have an idea where you are on the calendar. It’s the end of November, meaning in just a few weeks it’ll be Christmas. The guys haven’t said anything about celebrating, so you haven’t gotten your hopes up. Still, you can’t hide that itch in the back of your mind, that desire to have a proper celebration for your first year out of the institute. 
“You know you can tell them what you want.” Dr. Keller says, sitting in the chair next to you. “We’ve gone over this. I’m sure those guys would turn the world upside down if you asked them to.” 
“I just...I don’t know how.” You say. “What if they have no plans for Christmas? What if they weren’t planning anything? What if this is too last minute?” 
“There’s a little under a month till Christmas. It’s hardly last minute.” Dr. Keller says. “Even if they say no, then we’ll have a celebration. Just the two of us.” 
“You’d do that for me?” You ask, turning to look at her. 
“Of course. If you want to celebrate Christmas, then we will, no matter what the others decide.” She says firmly. “If they don’t wish to participate, then they don’t have to.” 
“That’s...really kind of you.” You say. She’s done so much for you already, and here she is offering to do more. 
“It’s what I’m here for.” She says. “Whatever you want to do. Decorate, bake cookies, go shopping. All of the above.” She reaches over, squeezing your hand. “You’re in charge.”
You’re in charge. 
Your omega nearly preens at the words, starting to get excited. Yet, you’re not quite sure how you feel about that kind of pressure being placed on you. It’s not in your nature to be in charge...or at least that’s what the institute taught you. Omegas are submissive and follow their alpha’s orders. 
The institute was wrong about a lot of things, though. Maybe you do want to be in charge. Maybe if you’re in charge, things will start to get better. Maybe if you’re in charge, you can finally get your pack in line and get them doing what you want them to do. 
Tumblr media
It’s far too early for you to be awake. It’s still dark out, no light filtering through the gaps in the curtains. There’s light coming through the gaps in the door, though, and you can hear quiet rustling. 
“It’s still crooked.” You hear Kyle’s voice through the wall. 
“I’m doin’ the best I can.” Johnny retorts. 
More rustling and quiet tinkling sounds through the wall. There’s no more hope for sleep for you now, your interest far too piqued as to what they’re doing. You slide out of bed, rubbing your eyes as you pad across the cold floor to the door. 
You’re not ready for what you find on the other side. 
All four of them pause as your door opens and you take half a step out the doorway. You freeze, hand still over one of your eyes. Johnny is standing on a stepstool, leaning over a tree. Kyle is standing next to him, peeking around him to look at you. Simon is frozen in front of the fireplace, garland hanging from his hands. John is standing between the couches, a round ornament in each hand. 
You slowly lower your hand from your eye, sweeping your gaze over the four of them once more. “What are you doing?” You ask, even though you already know the answer to that question. 
“Decorating.” The four of them say all at once. 
“We were going to surprise you when you got up.” Kyle says. 
“We were trying to be quiet.” John says. “But those two muppets can’t get the star properly on the tree.” 
“You’ve got it on the branch wrong.” Kyle says. 
“It won’t go any other way.” Johnny argues. 
They go back to what they were doing, almost as if you’re not there. You’re glad for it as tears begin to fill your eyes. They’re decorating. They were decorating to surprise you. You can’t help but wonder if Dr. Keller expressed your desire for a proper Christmas to them on your behalf, but part of you knows she wouldn’t do that. She’s pushing you too hard to take control to do that. 
Maybe they’re doing it because they want to. Maybe this was their plan all along. 
“Let me do it.” Kyle says, tugging on Johnny’s shirt. 
“I can do it just fine.” Johnny persists, still fiddling with the star on the tree. 
You roll your eyes, moving over to them. “Move. I’ll do it.” 
Neither of them argue as Johnny steps down off the stool, letting you climb up. You can feel their hands hovering as you stand up on your toes, reaching for the top of the tree. You bend the top branch, situating the star on properly for them. 
“See! I told you.” Kyle says, his hands still hovering as you climb down off the stool. 
“My way would have worked just fine.” Johnny pouts. 
“I’m sure it would have.” You shrug, patting his arm before walking away. 
You join John in sorting through ornaments as Kyle and Johnny finish adjusting the lights on the tree. They’re all brand new, sealed in the boxes still. So they went shopping for all of this. You don’t suppose a summer house would have Christmas decorations laying around. It’s touching that they did this for you, even if they didn’t know you’d want it. 
“Thank you.” You say, fiddling with the hook on one of the ornaments. “For doing this.” 
“It wouldn’t be fair to not give you a proper Christmas.” John says. “Not when it means so much to you.” 
A small smile tugs at your lips, tears starting to fill your eyes again. “I appreciate it. More than you know.” 
You don’t flinch as he reaches out, gently running a hand over your head as you wipe the tear that falls. It’s nice, feeling his touch again. You hadn’t realized how much you missed it. You wrap your fingers around his wrist, holding his hand against the side of your head. You barely realize you’re doing it as you press your nose into his wrist, breathing in his fresh, woodsy scent. Petrichor, damp earth. It fills your nose like it did the first time you scented him, making your head spin. 
For the first time in a while, your omega lays comfortably in the back of your mind, settled contently back into her cage. 
Tumblr media
You stand there nervously, staring at your alpha. He hasn’t acknowledged you yet, giving you a moment to gather yourself. You’re nervous, your palms sweaty, even if you have nothing to be nervous about. The worst he can say is no, and then you’ll have an excuse. Or he’ll say he’ll do it himself, then one surprise will be ruined at least. 
“Yes, sweetheart?” 
Sweetheart. It’s been a long time since you’ve heard that nickname spoken in such a way. Your omega rolls over and shows her belly, ready to submit to his quiet purr of your nickname. 
“I...I wanted to ask you something.” You say, shifting nervously on your feet. Now is the time. Now is when you have to be brave and voice your wants. 
“Go ahead.” He says, putting his phone down and turning to face you.
You almost wish he wouldn’t. You wish he’d stay turned away, attention on his phone so he can half pay attention to what you’re saying. No, instead he has to give you his full attention and put even more pressure on you. 
The words catch on your tongue, choking you as you attempt to be brave, as you attempt to take this leap into unknown territory. 
The worst he can say is no. 
“I want to go Christmas shopping.” The words come out fast, almost slurring together in your haste to voice them before you lose all the courage that led you to this point. 
He leans back in his seat and you prepare for the worst, you prepare for the no waiting to come out and put an end to your silly little request. You’ll sulk and cry about it in the safety of your room. Now you have to be strong. 
“Okay.” He says. 
You nearly turn and run in shame before the meaning of the word settles into your brain. You stand there in surprise, staring at him with wide eyes. 
“Okay?” You parrot, your brain still trying to comprehend what it is he’s saying. 
“Okay.” He repeats. “You’ll have to take one of us with you, though. You can’t leave unprotected, even with Christine.” 
“I’ll go.” 
The voice makes you jump, spinning on your heel to face Simon. You hadn’t even heard him approach. You stare in surprise at the other alpha. He hasn’t made much of an effort to insert himself back into your life. You were half sure he hated you again with how he’s been acting. 
“Alright.” John says, his voice almost as surprised as you feel. 
It will be nice having the hulking alpha following you around. You think back to when you went lingerie shopping with Johnny. How long ago that seems now. People had gone out of their way not to walk too close to you and your protector. No one will want to mess with you with him around.
“Go with Christine.” John says, making you turn back around to look at him in surprise. 
“Really?” You ask in disbelief. 
He nods. “I think it will be good for you, getting out of the house. Just don’t stay out too long.” He turns back to his phone and you turn back to look at Simon, but he’s gone. 
Tumblr media
“This might be a tad bit overwhelming at first.” Dr. Keller says as she drives through town. “It’s been a while since you’ve been in a populated place.” 
“I’ll be fine.” You say, even if you don’t really believe it. You had prepared for this possibility in the days you’ve thought about this trip. 
John wanted you to go early on a weekday, when it was less likely to be too crowded. While crowded might hide you better, it also left too many possibilities for someone to sneak up on you. 
“You say the word and we’ll go.” Dr. Keller says. “I can always come back later and finish shopping for you.” 
“Okay.” You say, still staring out the window at the buildings. It’s been a while since you’ve seen so many buildings all in one spot. 
Simon is quiet in the passenger seat, also watching out the window. You wonder what’s going through his head, if he regrets volunteering to come along. You wonder why he did volunteer in the first place. You know safety is of the highest concern now while Shepherd is still out there. Does he not trust anyone else to protect you? That’s a possibility. 
There’s another rift in the bonds. 
Dr. Keller pulls into the Tesco parking lot, many cars there even for so early in the morning. Everyone else had the same idea as John. 
“Try to make this as quick as possible.” Simon says as you undo your seatbelt. “The sooner we can get in and out, the better.” 
Dr. Keller gives him a look, something passing between the two of them before she opens her car door. You get out as well, pulling your jacket tighter around you as the cold air hits your skin. It had been warm in the car, the heat cranked for your sake. 
You’re half tempted to hold Simon’s hand as you cross the parking lot. You doubt he’d let you. He might pull away and that would be worse. That would ruin the whole trip. Old habits, you think. He’s barely spoken to you, so much as made an effort to rekindle the relationship between you. That would be pushing things too far. 
Instead you stick close to Dr. Keller, trying not to panic as you walk into the building with the bright lights and the people. It’s gross, making you squint for a moment as Simon grabs a cart, your eyes taking a moment to adjust. 
“What are you planning on getting?” Dr. Keller asks, trying to distract you. 
“I-I don’t know.” You stay, blinking at aisle after aisle of products. “I didn’t think this far ahead. I thought John would say no.” 
“Well, what do you think they’d like?” She asks. 
What would they like? What do they like? You’re drawing a blank as you think about them. How little you know about them too. 
Kyle. Kyle likes skincare. He’s always prioritized that on base. Maybe you’ll get him something related to that. 
You start for the cosmetics section, Simon following like a shadow behind you and Dr. Keller. What kind of skincare does Kyle like? You know he uses coconut oil after he showers. He always smells good. Maybe something exfoliating? Something moisturizing? Both? 
You stand in front of the skincare, drawing a blank as you look at the many options. Dr. Keller and Simon stand there quietly as you deliberate, suddenly overwhelmed by the choice you have to make. 
“Who are you shopping for right now?” Dr. Keller asks, obviously picking up on your discomfort. 
“Kyle.” You say. “I know he likes skincare.” 
“Hmm.” Dr. Keller hums, looking at the options as well. “How about something like this?” She picks up a gift set with cleanser and moisturizer. “Something to cover all the basics?” 
You nod. “Okay. That sounds good.” 
Simon says nothing, offering no words of advice as she puts it in the cart. Maybe he doesn’t even know his own pack that well. Or maybe this is his way of showing his displeasure for you. Let you flounder and get the wrong thing. You want to believe he wouldn’t be that cruel. 
You wander the aisles, looking for gifts for the other three. You pass by a spa kit, pausing for a moment. You should get one for Dr. Keller. She deserves some pampering and relaxation after weeks of taking care of you. 
You put two in the cart, grabbing one for Ashley as well. 
Johnny. What does Johnny like? Art. He likes art. Maybe something with art supplies. 
You head for that section, Simon still following behind silently, aside from the clinking of the cart as he pushes it. 
You pause as you pass by a display of teddy bears. Johnny sleeps with a stuffed bear. You know that. You’ve cuddled with it yourself. It’s probably back on base with the rest of your belongings. He must miss it. 
You grab one, putting it in the cart. 
“For Johnny.” You say as Dr. Keller gives you a look. 
Simon still doesn’t say anything, but his scent reaches your nose as you walk past him. 
The alphas. John and Simon. The two you seem to know the least. What do they like? What would they want as gifts? Simon likes knives and masks, but you’re not sure you could just buy a knife in the UK like you could in America. You could just ask him, considering he’s here with you, but that feels almost intrusive. He’ll know what you get him regardless, but asking him seems like a daunting task. 
You continue wandering the aisles, looking for something that John might want. 
You pass by a gift set of tea, pausing as you stare at it. He likes tea. He might like some other options than what’s at the house. 
You put it in the cart. 
Now Simon. The hardest of the four. 
You continue wandering the aisles before you pause in the books section. Simon likes to read. You do know that. You’ve scoured the shelf at the cottage enough to know what’s there and what’s not. Maybe you’ll get Simon some new books. Something that’s not available to you currently. 
You pick out a couple before putting them in the cart. 
“Okay.” You say, staring at the selection you’ve grabbed. “I think I’m done.” 
“You’re sure?” Dr. Keller asks. 
You nod. “Yeah. I don’t want to do anything too over the top.” 
You really don’t. The last thing you want is to do too much too soon. 
You pause as you walk past the candy aisle, grabbing a handful of candy canes and putting them in the cart before heading for the checkout. 
Dr. Keller pays with cash as you load the bags into the cart. You’re ready to be out of the store with its bright lights and loud music and people. It’s starting to get busier, more and more people coming in the doors there to do their Christmas shopping as well. 
Simon loads the bags into the trunk as you climb into the car with Dr. Keller. 
“How do you feel?” She asks as you let out a breath. 
“A bit overwhelmed.” You say honestly. 
“It’s a lot going from isolation to a supermarket. I think you did good, though.” She praises you. 
The door opens as Simon climbs into the passenger seat. He’s barely said a word the entire trip, looming in silence like he used to. Part of it makes your chest hurt, that he would regress so much after what happened, but part of you understands. He had to make a big decision on your behalf, push himself past his comfort zone to save your life. Of course he’d want some distance after everything. You wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t want anything to do with you again. 
Tumblr media
It’s far too early when light seeps into your room before disappearing. You keep your eyes closed, willing whoever had just entered your room to vanish before they reach the bed. 
You’re not so lucky, a hand settling on your shoulder and gently shaking you. 
“Time to rise and shine.” A soft voice says. 
You let out an irritated grumble, trying to pull the blanket up over your head. 
“It’s Christmas morning, don’t you want to go open your presents?” That hand shakes you again. 
“Sleep.” You murmur, curling up in a ball under the comforter. 
“It’s already 10 am.” The voice says again, tugging the blankets down. “They let you sleep longer than they wanted.” 
Last night was a rough one. You had laid awake far too late, staring at the ceiling and then you woke from a nightmare in the middle of the night, and it had taken time to calm yourself and fall back asleep. You’re still exhausted, your eyes burning from tiredness. 
You let out a grunt of displeasure, but you know there’s no getting out of this one. You’re going to be getting up no matter what. 
You slowly stretch out your limbs, rubbing your eyes. “Fine.” You yawn, turning over to press your face into the pillow. “Be up soon.” 
“No going back to sleep.” The hand rubs your back gently. “Then I’ll have to send one of them in and they won’t be quite so nice about it.” 
You hum into the pillow, already feeling sleep tugging at your brain. Despite the warning, your mind sinks back into the comforting realm of rest as your body relaxes back into the bed. 
You’re not sure how long you get to rest before the comforter is torn off of you, landing somewhere on the floor. Hands roll you over and sit you up before your brain can even process. You blink the rapidly fading sleep from your eyes as you’re hauled up, flying through the air for a moment before you’re tossed over a broad shoulder. 
“Time tae get up.” Johnny says, packing you towards the light filtering in through the open door. 
You let out a whine as he packs you out into the warmth and the light before lowering you back down on your feet. Hands stop you from falling backwards, Johnny’s t-shirt clad chest coming into view as you blink the blurriness from your vision. 
“Happy Christmas kitten.” He says, grinning brightly at you. 
You mutter something that sounds like ‘Merry Christmas’ back to him. His hands slowly spin you around, turning you to face the tree. 
You blink in surprise as you stare at the many presents on the floor under the tree. You weren’t expecting that much, though you suppose with six people in the house there would be quite a bit. It’s one gift though that draws your attention. It’s seated on the far side of the tree, nothing but a bow on top of its head. 
“You...you got me a giant bear?” You ask in surprise. 
“Was Si’s idea-oof.” Johnny coughs as Simon hits him on the back. 
You walk over to it, pulling the bow off of its head. You’ve missed your giant bear and the comfort it brought you. That’s the one thing you wish you still had from the barracks, that you’ve been wanting for for weeks. It’s bigger than the one at the barracks, the top of its head reaching your chest when you’re standing in front of it. 
You let your hands run over the soft fur, squeezing its plush face. There’s no cameras in this one. You know they’ve checked, ensured its safety. There’s no one looking back at you as you stare into its dark eyes. 
“What do you think?” Kyle asks. 
“I love it.” You say, trying to stop the waver in your voice. The last thing you want is to cry on Christmas. “Thank you.” 
“Come on.” Hands guide you to the chair, letting you sit down. “You’ve got a lot to open.” 
The next hour is a flurry of wrapping paper and bows as presents get passed around. You open up new shoes and clothes, a set of lacy panties courtesy of Johnny, new books, strawberry scented soap and shampoo, and some other comfort items. 
You’ll never forget Johnny’s face when he opens your gift to him, his eyes lighting up as he stares at the soft bear you picked out. It gets you a big hug and a kiss to the cheek from him, and you know he’s going to be sleeping with it tonight. 
You’re exhausted by the time the last present is opened, rubbing your eyes again. You hadn’t even changed out of your pajamas, feeling underdressed compared to the others. Yet at the same time it makes you feel like a kid again, tearing into presents on Christmas morning, excited to see what you got. 
You look around the room, John and Kyle starting to bag up wrapping paper and clean, Johnny on the couch next to Simon holding his bear, Simon sitting near the fire already cracking open one of the books, and Dr. Keller and Ashley on the other couch talking, sitting very close. It brings a small smile to your face. You’re happy for them. It’s nice to see Dr. Keller getting something positive out of this stay at the cottage. 
You can’t help but think that whatever happens next, maybe it might not be so bad after all. 
Tumblr media
“Think we should wake her up?” Kyle asks. 
“No.” John says, standing next to him. “It’s the most relaxed I’ve seen her in weeks.” 
They both stare at you where you lay near the tree, draped over your large bear. You’re sound asleep, mouth slightly parted as you snooze away. 
“I think she likes it.” 
“It was a good choice.” John agrees. “It will certainly help make her more comfortable.” 
“I can’t wait to see how she’s going to fit that on the bed.” Kyle says with a soft smile. 
“Well, you certainly won’t be joining her when she does.” John smirks. 
“I think I can live with that.” Kyle says. “Like you said, whatever makes her more comfortable.” 
“I’m glad she’s loosening up a bit.” John says, turning away from you to head back towards the dining table. 
“So am I. She deserves to feel safe and comfortable.” 
“She does. We need to make sure she feels that way all the time, no matter what.” 
“I want to help her.” Kyle says longingly. 
“I know. And we can, but we have to let her lead.” John says. “The best we can do is listen to her and give her what she needs, even if it's not what we think is best. We don’t really know what’s best for her in the end. Only she does.” He reaches up, cupping Kyle’s cheek. “We need to focus on each other too.” 
“I know.” Kyle says, leaning into his touch. “I want to.” 
John’s lips twitch in a small smile. “Good. Because so do I.” 
Tumblr media
To be notified about new chapters, please follow HERE and turn on notifications
546 notes · View notes
writersrkive · 1 day ago
Text
Don't shut up | Spencer Reid
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
summary: Spencer is used to people who constantly tell him to shut up, but somehow, he feels even more embarrassed and sad when he thinks you want him to stop talking after looking at the tired and confused expression you have when he's trying to help you. The thing is you hate when people do that to Spence and would spend years just listening to his voice.
gender: fluff
pairing: Early seasons!Spencer Reid x bau!reader
warnings: mentions of the team shutting Spencer down. Derek and JJ being a little mean to him when he's spreading information. Spencer being a cutie potato. Mention of a stomachache and its causes (mention of miscarriage as one of the causes, but nothing happens). Reader not being a native english speaker, but just a slight mention.
a/n: Dr. Spencer Reid is a genius.... I am not. I literally had to search for information and copy-paste here in some parts, so if there's misinformation, it's Google's fault, lmao. I wrote this yesterday when I was about to sleep, so I'm sorry if something is wrong with the writing (even though I already edited). English isn't my first language, please be kind <3.
Masterlist Spanish ver. On Wattpad (coming soon)
Tumblr media
Spencer and you arrived early that morning. He hated being late for anything. He couldn't afford to be late if he wanted to stick as closely as possible to his assigned schedule, especially because he took public transport. On the other hand, you had no choice but to arrive early when you woke up at four in the morning thanks to a severe stomachache and couldn't go back to sleep.
That's how your conversation started. Your genius workmate was surprised to see you, first hour in the morning, when he walked in the office, even before Hotch arrived.
“Are you feeling better?” He asked, furrowing his eyebrows. You couldn't deny that the expression was too cute for your own good.
“Yeah… I think so. It's not even the stomach ache that bothers me, it's the fact that even if I was sleepy, I couldn't fall asleep again. You know? That happens to me a lot. Once I open my eyes, I can't go back to sleep. I've also been feeling mildly unwell for a week, but even though the medication is controlling it, it doesn't stop."
At this point, he already set up his desk, leaving his briefcase on his own chair to walk over to you and sit at your desk, next to the chair you were sitting in, to listen to you attentively and answer.
“The brain works with different phases of sleep: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM sleep. The cycle usually restarts every eighty to one hundred minutes, and we typically have four to six cycles each night.”
Hotch came out of the elevator and walked upstairs after both of you waved at him, and he let out a soft “good morning”. Emily arrived a few seconds later. You greeted her too, as she took place on her desk, but that didn't stop your conversation.
“So, it's completely normal that we wake up in the middle of the night because of that process, but if it is frequent, for three months or more, it may be a symptom of insomnia.”
Your view went to the floor, and your head nodded in a semi-unconscious movement, because although you knew that your sleep cycle was ruined by work, you had not come to that conclusion, maybe that was it.
“Now, the stomachache…” He said, taking one pen from your pencil case to concentrate. He usually never took other people's belongings or shared his own stuff because of the germs, but somehow, after a few years of working together, he had come to have a good amount of closeness with you to borrow some stuff from you. Months ago, it hadn't gone unnoticed by Penelope that Spencer had a box full of pens reserved for you, in case you needed one, nor the fact that he denied JJ one of them once, when the blonde girl needed something to write with quickly.
“The causes can be the most common, such as gas, indigestion, a muscle injury, or stress. Although there are also more serious causes: gastrointestinal infections, inflammatory bowel disease, irritable bowel syndrome, ectopic pregnancy or miscarriage..."
“Wow, what are you trying to do? Scare her?” Derek's voice invaded the place and Emily smirked.
“What? No, I'm just saying the possibilities…” Spencer whispered, looking down, a little worried that he might actually scared the person he cared more, besides his mom.
“It's okay.” You answer loud enough so your friends and coworkers would hear. “Thanks, Spence. I already went to the doctor, so I have none of… those.” I gave him a little smile. “But about stress…” The sentence hung in the air, so Spencer looked up and continued speaking automatically.
“Stress can cause stomach pain because the autonomic nervous system of the gastrointestinal tract reacts to the same hormones and neurotransmitters as the brain. This is because the digestive system is connected to the nervous system, and the enteric nervous system, which is located in the digestive system, is able to send and receive impulses and assimilate emotions.” He started to talk faster.
Your focus on the genius boy and his explanation was sincere, but maybe it was the fact that you didn't rest well, plus the fact that he was speaking too fast and not vocalizing all the syllables, that for a moment your brain didn't process what he was saying.
It was weird. At some point you didn't even hear words, just sounds from his mouth. That didn't happen to you for a really long time because you already had experience with the native speakers, even if english wasn't your mother language. The exhausting feeling of not being able to sleep well was definitely to blame.
While your brain was coming to that conclusion, Spencer could only see your furrowed brow, tense jaw, tilted head, and dissociated look.
“You want me to shut up, right?” That whisper was enough for you to come back to reality. His cheeks were red and his eyes looked a little sad, not to mention the way his mouth formed a line like whenever he felt awkward.
“Yes, please!” Derek answered instead, leaning back in his seat and looking up with his arms outstretched as if he'd had to deal with seven unsubs in the five minutes he'd been there, listening from his place to the information Spencer was giving you.
“Little genius boy got excited… again.” JJ said, looking at some documents in front of her, opening her eyes wide in an expression of tiredness and disinterest.
The young profiler stood up from your desk thinking about returning to his chair, a little embarrassed, but you took his pinky with yours —that way you wouldn't make him feel uncomfortable in case he wasn't in the mood for physical touch, something he refused unless it was you. Again, another special treat—. “Wait. It wasn't like that.” Hazel eyes looked at you intently, still with a bit of doubt. “I'm sorry Spencer. Yes, you got excited, but that's not something bad.”
“It isn't?” He questioned.
“No, but you started to speak fast, and the fact that there are some words that I have a hard time processing in English and I couldn't quite catch what you were saying because I didn't sleep enough, well, that distracted me. Would you mind repeating it again, slower?” This time, you were the one with warm cheeks.
“Oh. Are you sure you don't want me to shut up?” The boy was actually intrigued and a little surprised.
“Why would I want that?” The fact that your teammates often shut Spencer up when he tried to share extra information, or information that he had been asked about, was something you had noticed from the moment you started working with the team. You thought that was rude. You understood that sometimes Spencer got excited, gave information that was perhaps better saved for another time since you were investigating a case, or people could be tired and want silence, but the team either silenced him or made fun of him most of the time. Plus, there weren't many other things you liked more than hearing his voice.
The sweet, soothing tone of his words helped you sleep on the jet after a long case, or made you want to hear more about whatever he was talking about. Feeling like he was sharing with you, a mere mortal, some of the vast knowledge he had was nice.
“I'm always happy to hear whatever you need to say, even if it's about something I don't understand. And, right now, you are helping me a lot, so, please, don't shut up.” The crimson color returned to the tall boy's face, this time not because he was uncomfortable. Your kind and somewhat complicit smile made his heart race, like almost every time he was with you. Spencer knew that no matter how tired he got, he would never shut up if you wanted him to keep talking.
453 notes · View notes
wandascosmic · 22 hours ago
Note
Could you write just a cute fic where Wanda and reader do a bunch of autumn season activities. Like Wanda loves to bake so she makes some halloween themed desserts with the help of reader (who in reality just makes a mess and eats all the ingredients).
Wanda would also probably be the type to just want to take a walk because she likes seeing the trees that change color, and of course reader wouldn’t listen when Wanda told her to dress warm so Wanda sacrifices her scarf or hat or both for her to wear instead.
Then for halloween all the avengers could dress up in costumes to hand out candy to the kids, and reader would convince Wanda to do a couples costume.
autumn appreciation (request)
wanda maximoff x fem!reader
summary: in which you and your girlfriend make the most of the wonderful autumn season.
word count: 965
tags: unedited, fluff, domesticity, idiots baking together, our favorite couple going for a walk, couples costume!!!, kids trick or treating at the avengers compound, we love halloween so much
Tumblr media
“Hey, Nat, have you seen Wanda?” you ask the assassin in the compound. 
Nat shrugs. “I’m pretty sure she’s making ghost cookies, pumpkin cookies, and a witch-shaped cake on a broom. Which is odd because couldn’t she just make a self-portrait–”
“Got it, thanks Nat!” you cut her off, running in the direction of your girlfriend. 
Stopping in the kitchen, you grin at the sight before you. Wanda was in deep focus, mixing a bunch of cake batter in various bowls, trying her best to bake to perfection. However, she was covered in flour, food coloring, and every baking ingredient you could think of had somehow stained her apron. 
“Witchy,” you greet, walking over towards her. 
“Y/N!” Wanda’s eyes light up before you as she makes her way over, giving you a tight hug before you could protest. 
“Wands,” you say, as Wanda refuses to let go. 
“Hm?” Wanda hums. 
“You’re covered in every baking ingredient in America,” you say, snickering. 
Wanda gasps, immediately letting go and seeing your shirt stained with everything that was on her apron. “I’m so sorry, detka! I’ll go get you a new shirt and change this apron– I didn’t even realize–” 
“Wands, don’t worry,” you cut off. “You’re not really baking if you’re not covered in head to toe in flour and confectioner’s sugar.” 
Wanda grins in response.
“Besides, I came over here to help you, since it looked like fun and I haven’t seen you yet today,” you reassure. 
“Oh!” Wanda says excitedly. “Yes, that would be so much fun. Okay, so I need some help with the ghost cookies since the frosting is a little tricky cause it’s a different kind than the pumpkin ones, so let’s do that!” Wanda grabs your hand and begins to lead you to the kitchen.
You grab a measuring cup and start getting to work per Wanda’s instructions. 
Two hours later, you and Wanda are still hard at work. 
“Detka, I think the kitchen is even messier with you than when I started. And that’s saying something since it looked like a flour bomb had gone off in front of me,” Wanda giggles. 
“Hey, you put me to work, woman,” you say, grabbing a piece of cookie dough and munching on it. 
“And you’ve mostly just eaten our ingredients.” 
“You put candy in front of me, you can’t expect me not to eat it,” you shrug. “Plus, we’re basically almost done now! We’ve just got to put everything in the oven.” You grin. “What do you say to your wonderful girlfriend?” 
“Don’t eat all the marshmallows next time?” Wanda retorts with her arms crossed. 
You give her a look, causing Wanda to finally let her smile shine through. 
“Fine, thank you, I love you,” Wanda gives you a kiss. 
“I love you too, my grumpy Sokovian witch.” 
And by the end of the day, every treat you and Wanda had worked so hard on has been eaten by a member of the compound.
*** “Baby,” Wanda shakes you lightly on the couch as you sleep on top of her chest. 
“Hm?” you hum sleepily. 
“Let’s go for a walk,” Wanda says. 
“Why?” you ask, looking at Wanda confusedly. “We rarely take walks.” 
“That’s why we should start!” Wanda responds. “I want to see the leaves change color, please,” Wanda stretches out the last syllable and gives you a pleading look. 
“Fine,” you agree reluctantly. 
“Thank you!” Wanda says, giving you a kiss. “I’m gonna grab my coat, you grab yours too since it’s cold.”
But, of course, you don’t listen to your incredibly smart girlfriend.  
Two minutes into your walk, in which Wanda’s already gushed about seven yellow trees, eight red trees, and five orange trees, you’re completely freezing, and trying your best to hide your shivers. 
But, of course, Wanda notices. 
And silently, Wanda wraps her scarf around your neck and gives you her hat, pulling you into your arms as you continue your walk down the beautiful trail. 
***
“Wanda, come on, it’ll be fun!” you argue, the morning of Halloween. 
“I don’t know,” Wanda says reluctantly as you show her the peanut butter and jelly costume you had bought for the two of you. Wanda was going to be the jelly, of course. 
“Please, witchy?” you give her your best pleading look to which Wanda’s incapable of saying no to. 
“Fine,” Wanda agrees. “But you owe me,” she says, grabbing the costume and going into the bathroom to change. 
“You got it,” you agree, yelling past the door. 
The kids love yours and Wanda’s costume, every single child who’s rang the doorbell and said trick or treat has pointed out your costume, making Wanda blush every time. 
“Trick or treat!” the last group of kids said in unison as Steve opened the compound door. 
“It’s the Avengers!” one of them remarked. 
“You guys are so cool,” another one said. 
“Hey, you guys are the best couple!” a girl, about five years younger than you pointed at you and Wanda. “I love you guys so much.” 
“Aw, we love you,” you respond, giving her a few extra pieces of candy as well as her friends. 
The kids take a few pictures with a couple of you, and you wave as they leave, “Have a great evening!” you call out.
Closing the door, Steve turns to you all, “I think we’re good for tonight, goodnight everyone,” he says, heading off in the direction of his room. 
You turn to Wanda with a grin. “So, wasn’t the costume worth it?” 
“I look ridiculous,” Wanda retorts. “But, unfortunately, anything for you, detka.” 
“I’ll return the favor next year,” you tell her with a kiss. 
“You better,” Wanda says, wrapping her arms around your waist as you both head off to bed together.
78 notes · View notes
derww · 3 days ago
Text
for @heartcircus.
its not like zam actually tries to talk: he stands, carefully holding his notes, just staring at spawn, noticing one familiar face after another, feeling like all thoughts in his head became too heavy, and then just. turns around. and leaves.
you know, all of the princezam nature is to oppose, is to fight. but the last seasons taught him about just how important it is to appreciate people around, to do not only for yourself but for them too. and just today he promised to not interfere with mapicc's plans.
he can't fight, but he can't support. so he leaves. first time in many days, he has no words to say anymore.
all of it is just too familiar, and memories of the past cloud his mind and make every part of his body weak and stale. story repeats itself, and hed hate to see it continue and weave hemself into it, so he does not. i need some time to be alone, he says to derapchu and goes almost to the border – to sunny hill, surrounded by snow-capped mountains.
this time something in it reminds him too heavy. he doesn't build a castle. instead, he builds a hut.
it's not so bad, he says to himself, laying firewood in the stove, it's not season 4 anymore, noone will backdoor the server and mapicc will stop. sooner or later. i cant fight him, but i dont have to. everything will end. and then ill go back.
he feels so fucking tired. only now he understands just how tired he is. so he lies down. and sleeps. and sleeps. and sleeps.
it never gets better; the tombstone of exhaustion only presses him down harder and harder. he sleeps and sees dreams. he cooks himself food and eats it, feeling no taste. he plants flowers and takes care of them. sometimes he talks to derapchu. he never tells where he is.
only in so slow time he suddenly understands just how misplaced he is. he's patch on patch, stitched over and over again with scraps of fabric, no matter how worn or unsuitable they may be, over and over and over, stitched with scars running through his spine. he is a trace of something forgotten, overlaid by images of other people and experiences, accustomed to it so much that it feels like himself. he sleeps and sees no nightmares. maybe it's for the worse.
so far from anyone, without any real goal, Immersed deep into himself, he easily starts missing hours, days, and weeks. time doesn't feel real, and he, at the end, too. people write him. sometimes he answers. he never agrees to meet.
i'll go back when the mawn thing will be over; he promises to derap but hardly believes in it himself. something makes him feel like he has nothing to come back to. this house is also not his home, but it's at least silent here.
derap persists, but in the end he gives up too. and, in the end, he is left alone. he grows dandelions in the field around. when an unfamiliar flower appears in the field, he does not prevent it from growing nearby.
he blinks and feels like he missed a whole week. sometimes he just lies there and doesn't move. he doesn't feel the softness of the pillow, the springy floor under his feet, and, after all, he doesn't feel pain either. a ringing void freezes in his head. he feels tired, but sleep doesn't help.
he missed a moment something changes.
something about how the world exists around him. something about how forest smells like. something about how the grass is rustling under his feet. something is wrong, but he barely makes himself care. it doesn't matter, not really, but time still slows down. he slowly dips his hands into the loose earth, feeling the coolness and texture. nothing here belongs to him, but that's not the point. he plants some poppy seeds. one of them ends up in a pot on his windowsill.
i'm fully okay, he says to derap while not being able to remember what he ate today, i'm just in retirement for now. i will go back to you, i promise. i just need some time.
the boards under his feet creak differently. sometimes something whistles, like an unfamiliar bird. sometimes it seems to him that the grass next to the house is crushed.
isn't this a true peaceful life, he asks himself. to run away from everything and be alone. in the end, there is no way to harm anyone if you are alone. he feels like he was running a marathon all this time and only now stopped.
he adds blue orchids, but their blue is drowning in the red. he takes the smallest orchid inside and turns it into a magnificent flower. In a moment of weakness, he takes the cornflower inside. the next one turns out to be an orange tulip. he doesn't comprehend it.
is it what i wanted in season four, he asks himself. this place strangely reminds him of it. he reminds himself of it, too, allowing himself to feel anything. he still can't decide if it's a good thing. 
the rain is pounding on his window. someone is knocking on his coffin lid. poppies fill the whole field.
i miss them, he writes on a paper. but i can't go back yet. not while spawn is someone's. not while i have to fight my best friend.
when he comes back from the forest, his house still keeps warmth. his footsteps are echoing, and his diary is open by the wind. i miss being able to decide, this page says. i was good at it once.
he doesn't feel sick. he feels dump. the green in his cape is starting to fade.
sometimes it seems to me that i won't be able to overcome this, he writes. but I know i can handle it. i always can. i will overcome anything. i just can't give up.
the forest smells of pine and fir, and it has not been lost in the trees for a long time, wandering far beyond the edge. the forest always brings him back when he wants to. it never holds him by force and generously supplies him with tree cones and wet moss. he always comes back because he has nowhere to go.
this time, when he comes home, he has a visitor. he is not surprised: he calls them by name, nods, makes tea from fir needles.
mapicc rests his head on his elbows.
– lets go home, – he says. zam shakes his head.
– to mawn? – he asks.
mapicc squints.
– yes.
– i won't.
– why.
zam looks at him almost regretfully.
– because i refuse to fight you, – he answers simply, – and i will have no choice but to.
– even fighting me is much better than- than whatever this is, – mapicc remarks irritably.
– i don't want to fight you ever again, – zam signs, – i know you like me as your enemy. i do not.
– you don't have to fight me. join me.
– i hate everything you've created, – he answers with pity, – and i can't change it. please, leave me alone. do whatever you want to do. and one day i'll be able to go back.
– i dont understand why you oppose it so much. you haven't even given it a try. is it, like, that bad? people love it; you can love it too.
zam shakes his head.
– did you really come to convince me to love what I hate?
– i came to invite you to my thing.
– not this time.
in the end, mapicc still leaves. only after that zam takes his floor apart to find a secret passage under the boards. it leads to a dug-out underground room filled with anything. there are books everywhere. an unmade bed. and a pot with a dandelion in the middle of the makeshift countertop.
mapiccs room, says the sign. he adds a glow ink to it and looks around again.
for an infinitely long moment he considers just starting to live here.
64 notes · View notes
psuedosugu · 20 hours ago
Text
the fact that they made stella a flat character despite there already being characters such as mammon, moxxies dad, etc. is poor writing. they could’ve made good commentary on the affects of arranged marriages on both sides but noooo more stolas victimization!!
also stella was not written like this from the start. yes we don’t see alot of stella in season 1 but you can tell that she was meant to be a woman who was in an arranged marriage with stolas and grew bitter because of it, then went ballistic because stolas cheated on her, which was interesting and there was alot to be built off of. then in circus it just switches to “oh she was a maniac this whole time and she just revels in stolas’ suffering” like are you serious??? also making one of the main antagonists in a show for adults flat is just plain lazy.
he’s babied by the narrative in the sense that you’re meant to feel bad for him and think that whats happening to him isn’t deserved when it honestly kind of is. not the abuse part but him being hated by the imps and via cutting him off. i honestly find it really hard to feel bad for him because hes been nothing but entitled the whole show. from him neglecting via to him having blitzo sleep with him for the book that was keeping the business afloat that he needed to keep him, his coworkers and his daughter off of the street (something that was again glossed over past like 2 lines and a few lyrics i think in favor for more stolas victimization!!!)
also this had nothing to do with his gender in the first place, i have never denied the fact that he was a victim of stellas but i stand by what i said when i say that stella was never truly there to represent female abusers, she was just there to make stolas look better and it screws up the chance for better, more interesting, and more accurate storylines.
ok this isn’t a hellaverse acc anymore but i have to get this rant out here,
octavia was not being irrational with how she acted in sinsmas!! just imagine being in her shoes: your dad cheats on ur mom with some random dude, constantly picks him, and even sacrifices his life for him on live television. how would that make you feel?
“oh but stolas has shown he cares about her!” he SAID he cares about her with words, yes, but he had never shown it with his actions, atleast not on screen. you can see it in the loo loo land ep when he claimed he wanted to have a special day for via but made blitzo tag along despite the fact he can defend the both of them just fine because?? he was just horny i guess???
you can also see it in the seeing stars ep when he goes to la to look for via but gets sidetracked by blitzo again, at the end it wasn’t even him that found her, it was loona 😭
stolas is not a good father, nor was he “trying his best”, and the fact that the show expects the audience to believe that shows how incompetent the writing is at times
85 notes · View notes
gregorovitch-adler · 6 hours ago
Text
Confessions
John gazed at Sherlock from across the table as they had dinner together at home.
Mariana had left for Spain this morning, because Christmas was just around the corner.
Sherlock and John had set up the Christmas tree together -- with all the decorations and everything -- and were just waiting for the Christmas Day to come.
The kitchen was dimly lit, and the table was surprisingly clean today.
John had been wanting to say something to Sherlock for a long time now. Talk about his feelings for him, specifically.
Ever since the two of them started their crime-solving journey by solving the case of 'The Illustrious Client' together, Sherlock and John became quite close.
Over the course of time, John had fallen in love.
Who wouldn't? And no, this question was not just rhetoric. It was rather a challenge from John to everyone out there.
Anyone who got the opportunity to live with a guy like Sherlock -- lively, enthusiastic about almost anything the world had to offer, brilliant, kind, charming, and beautiful -- would not have it in them to resist him. Of this, John was absolutely certain.
John tried to bring himself back to the present moment and picked at his food on the plate with his spoon.
"It's not going to eat itself, Watson."
John looked up at Sherlock from his plate, and he was taken aback by the intensity with which Sherlock was looking at him, too, now.
Could it be that he too...?
John shook his head and sighed before finally starting to eat. "Yeah, of course." John sat straight and let out a fake laugh. "You're right."
"You're not here. Not mentally, at least," Sherlock declared. He leaned over the table and dropped his deep voice to a whisper. "Where are you?" he asked in a mock-scandalous tone.
That was it, John thought. He could not contain himself anymore. It was the season of confessions, after all. Or something like that. "Sherlock, I've been meaning to tell you something. This has been on my mind for a while now."
Sherlock's face became guarded. He looked down at his plate. "Really? Because I also want to tell you something."
John put down his spoon and held his breath. "Oh? Go on, then. You first."
Sherlock looked up at John through his long lashes with his big, brown eyes filled with an emotion John couldn't quite put his finger on.
"I wanted to tell you that... that when you sometimes sleep in after a long case, I come upstairs, over to your room, and I stand in the doorway to watch you sleep for a few moments."
John's heartbeat picked up speed, and he flushed up at Sherlock's words. "Why - why's that?" There it was -- his classic stutter, every time a situation like this came up.
Sherlock's eyes then hinted at some mischief. John did not miss Sherlock's subtle smirk either. "Because you snore so much. I think we really need to take you to a sleep clinic sometime." Sherlock bit his bottom lip, probably to resisting an urge to burst out laughing.
John rolled his eyes. "Alright, whatever. I'm going upstairs." He placed his hands on the table and made to get up and leave.
Sherlock dropped his silverware on his plate and grabbed John by both of his wrists, making him stay where he was seated. "Okay, okay. That's clearly not what you want to talk about right now. Tell me what it is."
"Promise me you won't laugh it off, even if you don't like what I'm about to say to you." John turned his wrists to hold Sherlock's hands in his own. He tried to appear dead serious.
Sherlock's face changed from looking amused to quite earnest. "I promise." He squeezed John's hands in reassurance.
"We've become quite close since we started solving crimes together, haven't we? So much has changed since then."
Sherlock gave him a silent nod.
"From me finding you really annoying in the beginning because of your late night violin playing sessions, among loads of other things, to..."
"To?" Sherlock demanded. His voice became hoarse.
John gazed into Sherlock's eyes some more, trying to gather enough courage to spit it out already. He inhaled deeply.
"To me now having come to a point where I can't imagine the rest of my life without you. To a point where I feel so scared when I don't see you around at home in the mornings for whatever reason." John swallowed. "Sherlock, I would feel so lost if you were to leave me at some point in the future, as though I were stranded in a desert. Completely alone."
Sherlock was staring at John with his lips parted. His face was still unreadable. "Why's that?"
"Can't you deduce it?" John said with his brow furrowed. "You do have enough data at this point!"
Sherlock shook his head. "I want to hear you say it. I need you to spell it out. You know I'm not the best person when it comes to reading between the lines." His voice was shaking.
John nodded in understanding. "I love you."
There, he said it. It was all out now.
John squared his shoulders, feeling oddly confident in that moment. Whatever the consequences, he felt ready to face them all.
"I - me too." Sherlock visibly swallowed. "Everything you said just now -- I feel the same way."
Sherlock looked like he wanted to say more, so much more, but he was not in the state to be more eloquent than that just yet.
John didn't need him to.
John smiled and leaned in towards Sherlock over the table.
Sherlock met him halfway and tilted his face to kiss John on the mouth. His lips went from hesitant to intense to desperate in a matter of seconds.
John mirrored all those feelings and much more. He grabbed Sherlock's face and began to pour all the passion and love he had been feeling for this man into the kiss.
They broke off the kiss after a while, feeling out of breath.
Sherlock and John locked eyes with each other and exchanged a knowing smile.
They continued to have dinner with their fingers intertwined.
Both of them were aware of the unspoken promise waiting for them—the rest of the night, perhaps even the rest of their lives.
**
Prompt: Confessions by @fluff-cember
Tags: @helloliriels @lisbeth-kk @jamielovesjam @keirgreeneyes @totallysilvergirl @topsyturvy-turtely @peanitbear @calaisreno @gaylilsherlock , etc.
23 notes · View notes
drewsbuzzcut · 3 days ago
Text
The First Fall Of Snow
Nico Hischier x Sienna
Warnings: none!
Takes place: Dec 2024
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
The whistle of the wind breaks through the comforting silence, rousing Sienna from her sleep. And although she’s warm from Nico’s embrace and the thick blanket over them, his fingers lazily gliding along her spine sends a chill zipping through her body. It’s a sleepy habit of his, and Sienna loves it because sometimes he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. It also shows just how much he needs to feel her against him, even in his sleep.
After blinking the remnants of sleep away, Sienna stares out the uncovered window. Snowflakes are falling softly and glistening under the dusty, grey sky. It’s the type of beauty that takes the girl’s breath away and plasters the happiest smile on her face.
She relishes in Nico’s hold for a few more minutes, but soon excitement extinguishes her residual sleepiness. She gets up to light a few candles, dancing around as she does. There’s just something she loves about lighting a few candles during a snowy day.
Turning back around to try and wake up her boyfriend, she finds him already awake and gazing lovingly at her. His biceps are flexed as they fold behind his head, enticing her to take a bite.
“Come back to bed,” he groans, his voice thick as honey but with extra rasp.
“Neeks,” she pouts, but runs back to bed, jumping on him.
“Can you believe this is our first snow together?” She questions as she traces the arch of his eyebrows.
Speaking of eyebrows, Nico’s furrow in confusion.
“First? Baby, we’ve known each other since we were little. We’ve literally had snowball fights before. Remember when we were in high school and you accidentally hit my face?” He murmurs with a small laugh.
“Of course I remember. You acted like a drama queen and wouldn’t stop pouting unless I cuddled you,” she teased with a sassy roll of her eyes, and poked at his dimple until he turned to kiss the tip of her finger.
“I mean our first, first snow. Whenever we’ve been together during a snow day, it was never the first day. This is the first time since we’ve known each other that we get to experience the first snow of the season together. It reminds me of how lucky I am. I finally get to be yours, wholly. We get to experience life together, and the best part is that we are totally and unabashedly in love with each other,” Sienna explains, her heart beating against her chest. A furious flush dusts her cheeks, reminding Nico of the jersey he’s fortunate to wear almost every day.
He finds himself pulling her into his bare chest, his hands finding home on the small of her back. He never even realized they never had that first. It may not seem like something important to most people, but Sienna is the person he wants every first to be had with. It places a deep, gut retching ache in him that some of those firsts weren’t with her to begin with. Unease pulls his smile into a frown and makes his eyes water with regret or guilt, or maybe both.
“I’m glad we get to have it now. I love you, Sienna,” he whispers, lips attaching to hers, inhaling her breath like it’s the last gulp of air left on earth.
“Maybe we can recreate that snowball fight,” Sienna muses against his lips, smirking when Nico lets out a groan.
“Only if we get to lie in bed for the rest of the day,” he proposes softly.
“Hmm… I guess, Mr. Hischier.” Sienna leaps out of bed, throwing on layers of clothing before bouncing over to the door before Nico can even get a long sleeve on.
He can’t be bothered, though. Not when the love of his life is so happy in this perfect, mundane moment.
a/n: A sweet, little moment between Sienna and Nico. Enjoy🫶
19 notes · View notes
sky-swimmer · 3 days ago
Note
Sorry- excuse me gotta insert myself into the conversation even though nobody asked- because THIS IS SO TRUE???? I was just having this convo with @ficsinhistory !!! The fandom sleeps on Hazel- but really she is such a great protag, and genuinely so kind and also relatable.
I was shocked at the end of Birthday Take-back when she recognized that Dev was lashing out at her and the fairies because of his dad and not because he's just naturally mean. She knows Dev doesn't totally mean what he's saying, and he's doing what he can to avoid confronting the main issue- to blame his dad's lack of care on everyone else.
And then, while acknowledging this- that it's hard for Dev, she also understands that it doesn't excuse his behavior. Dev hurt her, so she disengages with the conversation, sets her boundaries that she won't accept being his emotional punching bag, and leaves.
Like ofc I felt terrible for Dev, the whole scene was heartbreaking, but also- HAZEL??? She is so emotionally mature??!!! She had a shining moment and aGH I just love that little lady. Even though I live in Devzel brainrot- the idea that anyone can think Hazel messed up with Dev is just so sad. Dev needs people in his life who will hold him accountable! Who care enough to be honest with him.
And about the 'Hazel's wish could have been used on Dev'.
Dev is a well-written character, and I can see why the fandom roots for him (including me!) Especially because of all the sad moments we never see getting properly resolved... BUT... the guy literally just took over fairy world?!!! I can't realistically see why Hazel would let him keep his fairy /memories 😭😭 (that being said, I don't think they're totally gone- considering his sunglasses)
And, even for those who are solely focused on Dev and don't care about other characters; don't we want to actually see well paced plot and character development?????? Won't it mean more if Dev actually works to redeem himself next season, and finally gets reunited with Peri and becomes friends again with Hazel?
From a story perspective, the choice to let Hazel's friends and brother keep their memories was amazing. It keeps the show fresh and addresses one of the main criticisms from the predecessor.
I really hope we get a season 2, because the writers seemed so hyped about writing the new dynamic!!! I really can't wait to see what happens next 😭✋
don't u just love it when the protag gets basically only used as an extension of another characters angst and is turned into a cardboard cutout in fanon content and thus is never though of outside of that inspire of having 30 episodes focused on her (eye twitch)
Oh my god. Yes. The treatment of hazel in the fandom makes me !!!! Mad to say the least . Like yeah i love dev but HAZEL HAS HER OWN PROBLEMS ANS STRUGGLES THAT ARE JUST SO OVERLOOKED BECAUSE OF DEVS DADDY ISSUES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hazel is barely treated as ...you know......the protagonist of her OWN SHOW WHICH IS WHAT SHE IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will never forgive how the twt fandom treated her when the finale aired. She did NOT have to use her rule free wish on dev come on now!!!!!!!!!! I think the wish she DID end up making is so interesting AND I THINK PEOPLE NEED TO FOCUS ON WINN AND JASMINE BEING HAZELS FRIENDS MORE!!!!!!!!!!! theyre both awesome in their own ways it just SUCKS that so many cool characters get basically....no recognition..........bc people would rather focus on devs problems WHEN HES ONLY HAZELS FRIEND FOR LIKE. IDK 3 EPISODES????????
Tldr TREAT HAZEL LIKE TO PROTAGONIST OF HER OWN SHOW GOD DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!
27 notes · View notes
dear-ao3 · 18 days ago
Text
no no cause hold on Who goes through a scathing media day having the most insane fight seen in potentially years that results in all kinds of weird shit being dragged up with another driver because you essentially called him a two faced bitch for saying you deserved a penalty, a penalty which didn’t even affect the outcome of the race and was also objectively stupid, the driver in question being not only the union director trying to actively get your ass out of community service for saying fuck but also not even someone you’re in a title fight with remotely, mostly because you’ve already won the title and the other guys car is a shit box, which then sparks both of your team principals to go at eachother which they’ve been frothing at the mouth wanting to do for potentially years, all before attending the driver end of year dinner and sitting on the exact opposite side of the table as the guy you’re having beef with then commenting the 🥩 emoji under yet another drivers post saying oh don’t worry the two you’re thinking of were at opposite ends of the table lol and then thinks, in the middle of all this, which by the way is the last race of a season that is not only the longest in history but also one where you were not dominant and won the world title literally with a rear wing that was angle grindered in the garage cause it sucked that bad, and in the midst of continued heated debates over whether or not you yourself are going to retire before your contract is up and also about who your teammate is going to be for the foreseeable future “yeah. this is the perfect time to announce that i am going to be a father.”
239 notes · View notes
clfixationstation · 1 month ago
Text
Spoilers for Act 3 of Arcane Caitvi!
Why are both caitvi kisses interrupting incredibly emotionally vulnerable and painful moments for Vi? I know the first was intentionally uneasy because Cait had already changed and Vi knew it but??
Am I just not understanding the build up? Because both felt really. Random to me. Like "oh, I guess we're doing this now! Instead of... reassuring Vi?" ?? I'm confused. I'll def rewatch tomorrow because it's possible I simply did not comprehend the scene
23 notes · View notes
icewindandboringhorror · 11 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
sneeping with his legs up over his head for some reason... weird boye
#cats#love the second picture... skrungly sleepy well rested boye face...#since he's an elderly boy now sometimes when he wakes up from a nap he looks a bit scruffy and squinty eyed#Hard to beleive he's like 15 though.. he still looks like a kitten to me.. due to his giant round creature eyes and childlike demeanor#I think it's interesting that like... baby cats are babies. kittens are kittens. and you can tell a cat is like 'young adult' phase#looking from like a few months to maybe 1yr or 2yrs.. but after that they just always look the same to me#a 5 yr old cat is a 10 yr old cat is a 15 year old cat. unless the cat in question is particulalry aged or youthful#I still have so so little energy... it's been icy here this week. like not even FUN but just scary icy even thoguh i lOOOVE the cold#and its my favorite weather. I think it'd be okay actually if I had a woodburning stove/fireplace/hearth thing. literally thats my only#concern with the power going out. I genuinely don't mind stuff like having to go to the bathroom in buckets or cook over a fire or do other#less conveninet things. Its just that if eveyrhtng is electric then you have no way to cook and all of that. well.. and I literally need#background noise to go to sleep lest my ocd sprials become so loud I am slowly driven into maddness.. but a few battery packs or something#and a phone with one downloaded video I could play on repeat is fine for that. I dont need internet. ANYWAY.. so so sad that my fav#orite season ever (winter) is here. and the first cold of the winter is like... just an ice storm that you cant even walk in. I#love like 4 feet of snow where you can play in it and stuff. But just a thin flat sheet of a few inches of ice over every imaginable surfac#is not really playable. the wind speeds are so high and so many trees fall it's actually not that safe to go hang out outside anyway unless#you were in a totally clear open field. which is SAD also because i love ice and high winds. i love to stand out there and get whipped in t#he face with ice crystals and feel like I'm in some dramatic movie or something. but alas.. the threat of being attacked by a falling tree.#I did go out some but again it's like. literallyyou cant walk on it. so I just squatted and dragged myself along the ground lol#One of my stories has a whole section where the main characters are trapped in a deadly cold environment for a week and have to use magic#to survive and etc. etc. so I'm always like.. ouuu.. I should go in the ice.. it's Writing Research actually.. *foolishly gets frostbite*#THOUGH yesterday I went on a harrowing evil journey down a bunch of icy hilly roads to go check on some person's cat because the cat#had been left in the house for like 5 days at that point with nobody to check on them and nobody else seemed to want to do anything#about it (like call all of the neighbors or try to get someone out there) so I just went myself with a roommate who agreed to drive me.#It seemed acting totally normal and I gave it more food and water but.. I am still worried about it.. Apparently the person will be able#to get back to their house tomorrow but.. I dont trust them. But I couldnt take the cat with me because it's like.. a stranger's cat#basically and also no carrier + very skittish.. so I feared if I just tried to carry them bare handed they'd definitely leap from my grasp#and then it'd be like.. sliding on a sheet of ice chasing a cat and so on.. I still think they need to be watched for health issues tho >:|#ANYWAY.... many cat adventures lately... and strange weather... I wish for a normal week without always so many Things Happening.. augh
44 notes · View notes
chirpsythismorning · 2 years ago
Text
I think what really puts into perspective the likelihood of ST5 premiering in 2025 (I’m gonna predict March 21st for fun), is that a year from now is just barely Summer 2024, and yet as of now, they have not even started filming.
Are fans really expecting them to have season 5 filmed, fully prepped with marketing and promo ready, with everything ready to be released within one year from now (roughly speaking, give or take a couple months)?
In all honesty it's very much the norm for Stranger Things' to have promo leading up to an upcoming season last for months. And I'm not talking like 3-5 months I'm talking a year+.
This isn't like s1 where they put out a trailer and a release date and some low budget marketing roll out on social media, which is something they do for every new Netflix show. This is a $35 million + budget per episode series and thats just to budget for the literal episodes... There are dozens of partnerships they have going on with merchandise and things like that which are discussed and planned for months/years. There are music rights negotiations which go on for months upon years. Shit, post-production has the capacity to take, at the very least half of the time it takes to film, and in some cases as much time or even more. This shit takes time!!!
The build up to a new season is so huge, that each month leading up to it, there are different things dropping, creating the hype that guarantees millions of fans engagement for a long time.
Like 1 year up to the 6 months before the release, promo starts heating up officially. The main accounts for the show will start posting stuff, initially it'll be cryptic using old footage to kind of recap the characters and get us refreshed on where we left off. This time could have some really awesome surprises, but it's mostly casual. If we're lucky we can count on Atlanta filming paparazzi bc those people are insufferable...
6 months up to the one month mark is when it starts to get more real. At this time we're likely to get an episode list announcement, along with sneak peeks and teasers that are quite short, being that they're still likely in the editing process when they are releasing these so it's very much in part them trying to tide us over and keep us interested.
The final 3 months leading up to it is when it gets REAL real. This is at the latest when we'll get a release date announcement, but that's a worst case scenario. I feel like it took so long for them to announce s4, and not until like Feb 2022 bc they wanted to be certain certain. And that could apply to s5 as well. The state of the world isn't like awesome I would say... Look what happened last time? Like it sucks to be the person to say that but I think also considering delays in general, for any reason are a possibility, is also what contributes to my open mindedness about an early 2025 release.
And so based on what we should be expecting for marketing, that means that assuming s5 would somehow premiere in summer 2024, means we are already close to the one year mark, which means promo should be ramping up right now, with literal content to share? And yet we have nothing filmed...?
A lot of people have this idea that s5 is going to take as much time to film as s1 took, which is just not the case. Not saying it will take as long as s4 took, however it's still going to take a while. One of the main factors for this is an in demand cast with conflicting schedules. In a perfect world, everyone would be available all the time throughout the entire production run. Instead what you have is certain actors not available at this time, and so you have to overlap those that need scenes together and schedule according to all of that. And so even if it wouldn't take more than 7 months to film literally, adding another 4+ months might be necessary to accommodate everyones schedules so that they can have these A/B list actors be able to film scenes together.
And then there’s editing and VFX to account for, happening during filming yes, but also with them needing months to focus on AFTER filming is complete. S5 is arguably going to have more VFX than any other season, as most of the season is expected to be surrounded by UD conditions and with the final battle being pretty epic with a 3 headed dragon potentially. Editing is more likely to be 7+ months post filming AT LEAST, vs. like the 4 or less, which is what I think everyone is imagining and telling themselves.
This is also the last season and so they obviously want to focus on the quality, not their ability to churn it out as fast as possible. Rushing for a quick release is just setting themselves up to flop.
The story is over forever after this (excluding spin-off prospects). It would make sense for them to give themselves the wiggle room to make it perfect (the stakes are so fucking high you guys), as opposed to rushing the entire time just to have it release as early as possible.
This also reminds me of what Noah said when asked about s5 premiering in 2024, where he basically just deflected and said that they want to focus on quality… essentially hinting at the fact that it’ll probably not be soon as we’re expecting, but we’re better off for it bc it gives them time to ensure it's the best that it can be and also is just realistic in terms of considering potential unplanned delays.
And then there are the strike implications. While I think the ST production is lucky in that they wouldn't be impacted as much as other productions, that doesn't mean the solidarity won't impact other parts of the production beyond just the writers. This is an industry where people are extremely overworked and underpaid, where a strike could be on the horizon at any moment. And we’re out here telling them hey i know the conditions are horse shit, but I'm gonna need you to step it up and experience even worse conditions bc I need s5 asap... which is just, it’s asking too much if I’m being honest.
Not trying to rain on anyone’s parade here. I know it sucks hearing that it could be another 1 year and 10 months. But lets be serious right now.
All the action that happens in the fandom, building up to the release is arguably just as exciting as the actual premiere and I think we overlook that. Again, once it premieres, it's over. So being so hellbent that it comes as soon as possible, is built on this idea that getting it is the only worthwhile part of this experience, which couldn't be further from the truth. Hiatus and all of the activity that happens during that time is what makes this experience so unique and without it, none of us would be here.
I think realistically, the timeline for s5 production is likely to look something like filming taking place from May 2023-Feb 2024 (giving them AT LEAST 10 months, but if you ask me srs i think it'll take 12...). We should get an announcement post from the official Netflix/ST social media accounts the very day filming starts.
As time passes and they're filming more and more, we will start to get teasers and sneak peaks from the little bit they have filmed from the earlier episodes in the season. Technically they can't spoil that later stuff too much in promotion, so it does work out for us in that sense.
But in all honesty, well planned out and detailed promo is likely to not start getting official until this fall when they’ll actually have at least (hopefully) over half of s5 filmed, and be planning ahead plenty in advance so all of the promo leading up to the release is well thought out.
I won’t rule out Fall 2024. But there are no Friday dates in fall 2024 that ring any bells to me as being the perfect day? Maybe Winter 2024? Or like January/Feb 2025?
The problem is Netflix loves ST for their summers... But summer 2024 is too soon and Summer 2025 is too late imo...
So what it will likely come down to is them trying to be realisitic about their options, and how to ideally get it to match with the setting of the show, which is something they have tried to do with s2-3, but couldn't in s4 (for obvious reasons), and so I definitely see them thinking ahead to try to bring back that approach for s5 if they are able to.
So filming, best case scenario, ends maybe Jan-Feb 2024. If we give them at least 7 months, which is still arguably rushing to me, that lands them in September 2024.
BUT if they were smart they would be realistic and just plan for late 2024/early 2025 so that they don't have to keep delaying... also why they haven't announced a date/year... if it was for certain going to be 2024, they would say it. But they aren't. That alone should tell us they are not willing to make that commitment bc it's not something that can be made when there are so many impromptu factors at play.
I imagine a scenario though honestly, where it takes them a year (12 months to film), so they won't be done until May 2024, which means that they would have until January 2025 to edit with 7 months for that strictly. And that just honestly feels realistic to me to look at instead of hoping that everything just is swift and fast as possible.
Not to mention ST5 2025 just fits.
However, I don't see anything wrong with hoping for late 2024, since as of now I think it is still possible.
But I also think, keeping all of the factors in mind, most notably a potential strike and also them ensuring quality over a speedy release, I think 2025 is something people should also be prepared for as a possibility.
The good news is that we'll know eventually as s5 starts filming and as time goes on.
If filming is complete in 2023 then we could definitely hope for a fall 2024 release. If filming isn't complete officially until early/mid 2024, then pack up your duffel bags bc we're going back to spring break...
135 notes · View notes
talkorsomething · 6 months ago
Text
I have Got to get more transgender
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#transmasc#trans ftm#transgender#i like 2 say i'm very trans already but unforch i am Not Really. mostly boring ftm Guy Ever#so tempted to cut my hair again but my sense of what i look like is already so fuzzy i dont think it'd help..#want to dye my hair anyways. at this point i'd take whatever color i can get if not purple LOL#it's almost everything i could want and yet ... still me. still the same life. stuck.#soooo high functioning like you wouldnt believe EXCEPT istg i need an emotional support human who will guide me through tasks#such as 'pay with your Moneys Card at the Store'#or... idk that's it really. maybe go grocery shopping without feeling like i'm not meant to be there also#or like. exist in general maybe#reasons why not emotional support Animal: creature cannot understand capitalism. and also is not as necessary as a service dog specifically#idk! every time i come on here i fall apart (in text) and then pull myself back together for another day of ... this i guess.#i'm not even having like crying breakdowns or anything to go along with it i'm just held inside this shell of a body. typing away again#i'm soso tempted to make things worse. progress wouldn't matter anymore... at least maybe it would feel real that i'm like this#i wish my face fit on my body right. and also that i did not look quite so much like a vaguely gnc lesbian#like at LEAST let me look butch as hell but no. curse of sad hair & uncertainty#miss my little mullety thing from that brief period in october... miss my short hair from back in 2017 ...#just dont feel satisfied with what i am now. in general.#top surgery is literally Within my reach but i'm not sure about cost and i need to wait because of doing guard now......#my list of do i want t i kept for the past month turned out to be a bunch of maybes#partially cause i got sick. partially cause it stopped being shark week and i forgot about it#as always happens...#still unsure in my new(er) name. only heard it once#didn't feel the same way as with my old one? but idk. just don't know.#missing guard also but feeling conflicted about not having time for other hobbies...#since winter season is over i've had so much time to play guitar! that's insane! mostly cause i stopped playing for unrelated reasons...#just tired again. wonder if i need more sleep than what i always get. kind of restless.#there's nothing else to say i guess. just wish i could be a person the way everyone else seems to be.
8 notes · View notes
merrymissmouse43 · 4 days ago
Text
6 weeks of breathing clean air, I still miss the smoke…..
🏝️🤙🏄🏾‍♀️🏄🏼‍♂️💔
#seemed appropriate to use t swift lyrics since I associated so many of her songs with them &haven’t been able to listen to any of them sinc#I don’t even want to say their names#if you know you know#purging them from my life has been depressing as hell#I’m so fucking sick of behind the scenes bullshit ruining my favourite ships#this is the THIRD TIME this has happened to me btw#I’ve genuinely been in mourning#I’m not even exaggerating when I say that finale triggered a days long anxiety attack for me#it’s so ridiculous how something that wasn’t even real caused me to have physical symptoms of distress but it’s true#my heart wouldn’t stop racing. chest was tight. started shaking a few times. felt lightheaded. couldn’t sleep. eating made me sick#it was awful#but now I’ve mostly moved on to anger#I’m angry at a lot of people involved for different reasons#I’m also angry because I’ve lost my inspiration to write#I was solely committed to writing about them the past few years and now that they’re over I have no desire to write for them or another shi#I’m crushed that I’ve lost my joy for writing those ficlets but it’s too painful now. probably always will be tbh#feeling pretty lost creatively…#thank god I made a new friend on here before shit hit the fan#she and I have been venting out our sadness and frustrations together and it’s helped a lot#I hope everyone else in the fandom was able to find support like I did#I know my exit from the fandom was abrupt but I had just finished watching and was reacting purley on raw emotion#but I still think it was my best way to cope with it all#apologies for the rant and to everyone following me who don’t know wtf I’m talkimg about but I was thinking about them today#and I needed to unload a bit#I’m not going to tag anything but I do miss this fandom terribly#I’m still at a point where I don’t want to hear anything about this show or ship ever again… but yeah… I really miss those good times#take me back to the season 3 hype#THIS is the bad place#personal#laura says things
3 notes · View notes
tommygotwrittenoff · 5 days ago
Text
things i think buddie would argue about after moving in together: buying organic, the tupperware cabinet, couch throw pillows, the coffee maker
#yes i will elaborate#yk bucks buying all organic and name brand. eddie only buys organic or name brand if buck or chris want it. otherwise its gonna be generic#like if chris wants cheezits then hes getting cheezits if buck wants organic fruit leather then buck is getting his organic fruit leather#but if eddie wants oreos hes getting twist and shouts or sandwich creme cookies or whatever generic brand is available#every grocery trip is like just grab organic lettuce eddie. it doesnt matter buck just cuz theres no dirt on it doesnt mean its not lettuce#and the tupperware cabinet at the diaz (buck changes his last name to diaz okay he told me himself) house is crazy#i just know bucks tupperware cabinet in the loft is organized like crazy prob has labels or something. have you seen his immaculate kitchen#eddies tupperware cabinet is based on vibes. he tries to keep it organized but chris keeps coming home with more for some reason and theyre#all different sizes and theres no good way to condense them so theyre all just kinda in there and the cabinet closes so thats good enough#and that cabinet is the bane of bucks existence bc eddie let him have free rein over organizing everything else in the kitchen except#the tupperware cabinet#seriously eddie why cant we just throw some of these away and make some room in here?#oh suddenly mr we need to buy organic sustainably grown toilet paper wants to throw plastic directly into a landfill? absolutely not buck#and about the throw pillows#i just know mr eddie diaz loves home goods hes prob a member of the finders club or something#that man is decorating for all holidays and changes the pillows every season (canon) and buck well. weve seen the loft its the bare minimum#eddie comes back from home goods with a new pillow set and buck is like. eddie. eddie we have a dozen pillows already why do we need more??#none of the old ones match the new painting.#the new painting?? what new painting???#the coffee maker is a constant battle#because buck has had a hildy coffee maker for years and when he tried to set it up at eddies eddie was like. no. get that out of my house#and bucks like your house?? i thought this was our house 😔😔😔#oh baby i didnt mean that ofc its our house everything of mine is also yours#so i can set up hildy in our house right?#no.#and so buck is always dramatic as hell whenever he makes a pot of coffee.#oh if only i could set the brew cycle to match our work schedule. oh imagine how much we could save on the electric bill if it could put#itself to sleep after brewing. eddie. eds. babe if we could brew coffee from our phones then we could cuddle longer in the mornings#buck no. that thing is not allowed in this house.
3 notes · View notes
shardminds · 19 days ago
Text
still alive i promise!!! wip wednesday time :)
Lucien pushed the sheet of her hair behind her ear but Feyre couldn’t look at him, couldn’t lift her eyes from the milky skin where her tattoo should be, couldn’t help but tense against the urge to curl her palms to fists. “Despite the performance with Hyburn, you’re still mated, aren’t you."
Not a question.
#not me seeing sleep token live and then being like '[insert sleep token song] is [acotar ship]!' at any given opportunity#hypnosis but specifically 'and you make it more / than i / could ever feel / before' is feysand#atlantic but specifically 'so flood me like atlantic / weather me to nothing / wash away the blood on my hands' is gwynriel#like that but specifically 'fall into your eyes like a grave / bury me to the sound of your name' is elucien#ascentionism but specifically 'half algorrithm / half deity / glitches in the code or gaps in a strange dream' is azriel 219#no one knows who azriel 219 is yet but let it be known (if i ever finish it) it might be the best thing i've ever come up with#also ascentionism but specifically 'blood stains on the collar means just don't ask / be the first to the feast / lets choke on the past /#and take to the broken skies at last' is withcer au feysand#again that one hasn't been written but you get it#ALSO ALSO ascentionism but specifically 'you're gonna watch me ascend' is rhysand if he had been worse after UTM#i need my evil rhys enjoyers to listen to ascentionism please :)#this was not a wip wednesday this was just an excuse for me to wax insane in the tags about sleep token#PLEASE complex rhys enjoyers!!! i am begging!!! please just listen to ascentionism!!!! just once!! it's spotify wrapped season!!!!#WHO MADE YOU LIKE THIS!!!! WHO ENCRYPTED YOUR DARK GOSPEL IN BODY LANGUAGE???? SYNAPSES SNAP BACK IN BLISSFUL ANGUISH!!! TELL ME YOU MET M-#tumblr does not respect me enough to go over the character limit of tags#also if you are wondering how i am#still crazy! thank you!#wip weds#ficminds
3 notes · View notes