#this may be crueler

[ceph-the-ghost-writer]

Six Sentence Sunday

Tagged by @autumnalwalker!

Tagging (and don't feel obligated to do this only today/a Sunday btw): @elshells @elizaellwrites @rosellemoon @runner-owen @swordsoulwrites @arigalefantasynovels @duckingwriting

How it works:

Writers: post (approximately) six sentences from something you’re working on. If you aren’t ready to do that, add six sentences to your WIP.

Readers: challenge yourselves to leave a six sentence comment or give a writer a six sentence prompt. (or a total of six sentences for the day)

Fans and creators alike: reblog a fandom post and add some love in the tags. Aim for 6 posts - or 6 tags. Whatever you can manage!

From the newest part of the Apophenia redraft:

Content Notes: Food/hunger description

His stoicism came crashing down as soon as the smell hit him. Thick, rich beef stock. The heat of dried chiles stewed in it for hours, guajillo, ancho, pasilla. A note of sweetness from fresh grilled corn. His stomach grumbled and whined like a begging dog. Not the expected instruments of torture maybe, but they had broken him nevertheless.

[sskk-manifesto]

!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[raccoon-crown]

Mmm... If I where to create Maria in the Dream Land AU... Should I keep her alive this time around 👀???

[mars-ipan]

you guys ever think about the milgram shock experiments? i think about the milgram shock experiments a lot. they feel kinda relevant right now for some reason. hm

[hallwyeoo]

I despise spiders, genuinely start hyperventilating when I see them, choking sobbing type of hysterical. I still try my best not to kill them.

its possible to personally dislike or fear a creature w out demonizing it. u can be afraid of and annoyed by animals like snakes and mosquitos and roaches and rats etc w out treating them like theyre inherently evil or out to get u. theyre just animals. we're just animals. whether u like it or not they live here with us and its honestly really weird that theres such a pervasive deep rooted habit of anthropomorphizing these animals just to say theyre malicious and actively trying to cause harm

[sscarletvenus]

every day is crueler than the last and the nightmare continues another day. another life was the cost of flour.

fuck israel. fuck biden and his administration. fuck the untied states. may any individual who supports this endless cycle of murder suffer what they have inflicted on innumerable innocent.

may the martyred rest in paradise. glory to the resistance. the apartheid entity will fall before our very eyes, with its fellow colonial regimes.

[faultfatale]

maintenance tags!

*˖ ⊹  christie    ⋅   out of character    ╲  i don't even have my own attention. *˖ ⊹  promo    ⋅   out of character    ╲  another name goes up in lights. *˖ ⊹  inbox    ⋅   out of character    ╲  do you ever wonder what happens to the words that we send?

*˖ ⊹  universe    ⋅   undecided    ╲ we know what we are but know not what we may be. *˖ ⊹  universe    ⋅   genshin impact    ╲  the stars in the sky will always have a place for you. *˖ ⊹  universe    ⋅   marvel    ╲  the measure of a hero is how well they succeed at being who they are. *˖ ⊹  universe    ⋅   my hero academia    ╲  there is nothing crueler than letting a dream end midway. *˖ ⊹  universe    ⋅   danganronpa    ╲  what's the point of living if you're just waiting to die?

[arcanarix]

yandere satosugu + darling. you the darling don’t even acknowledge either of the two by their names in your head. at least at the beginning.

instead it’s more like: Menace 1 and Menace 2. Tweedledee and Tweedledum. However you see label the duo, there’s one certainty: they are practically indistinguishable due to the fact that they enable each other’s worse habits. throw darling into the mix. and darling isn’t sure who to be more wary of the entire time.

geto may be calmer, but he’s crueler, even if he prioritizes you in bed. it doesn’t mean he’s kind about it. gojo is sloppy, gojo has no concept of personal space, gojo is the one always—always—all over you. wherever you are, he can’t keep his hands off of you. fondling your tits while you’re lounging. playing with your cunt too.

and geto just joins. encourages it. if gojo’s at it with your tits, geto’s got your ass and pussy. then they switch. make you come. switch again. make you come. again and again.

the one thing you do take note of is that they rarely prioritize their own pleasures—seemingly getting you riled up and used is more than enough.

but of course between them, gojo is the selfish one. gojo takes and takes from you while geto just watches, amused. sometimes even guiding him along while he gets himself off alone.

sometimes gojo keeps his cock inside for hours while you’re in his lap, fingering your pussy and clit until you can’t take it anymore, begging to be fucked.

sometimes, geto takes the other hole. and you’re so full for hours, and they never stop for eons.

sometimes you find yourself not minding it anymore. because they don’t make it awful, even if they make it clear you can never leave them. even if they make it clear you’ve lost any and all agency. maybe you’re a little okay with being their little doll.

all things considered, they don’t treat you that bad. they just like having fun with you.

[yandere-daydreams]

tw - unbalanced power dynamics, prolonged imprisonment, wrongful imprisonment.

You’d gotten a key to his office, somehow.

For as much freedom as Wriothesley tried to allow the prisoners Fortress of Meropide, he couldn’t help but wonder how you pulled that little trick off. There were only two copies, one of which he wore at his waist at all hours of the day while the other remained inside a sealed vault, locked behind a code only he knew. He couldn’t begin to imagine how you’d done it, and yet, there you were, emerging at the top of the staircase that led into his only private space, toying with a small bronze key and smiling too brightly for any part of your flawless expression to be genuine. The dubiously-acquired key was slid into one of the pockets of your cover-alls, your smile gifted the company of a breathy laugh, and then, any distance he might’ve been able to keep between the two of you was closed as you clambered onto his desk, stealing what little concentration he still had away. With a sigh, he pushed his chair back, giving you his full attention. This was a familiar routine, one he didn’t have the energy to fight. It wasn’t as if his resistance had ever done much good, not when it came to you.

You spoke first, predictably. He’d never really been the instigating type. “Good morning, your grace.”

“My cigarettes,” he said, nodding towards the corner of his desk where a red-striped paper box had sat a few seconds ago. “If you’re desperate enough to steal, you would’ve tried asking nicely first.”

Rolling your eyes, you produced his missing vice and handed it back to him, but not without snagging one for yourself and stowing it away for later use. It was a minor infraction, though – nothing he couldn’t write off as the price of your visit. “You know,” he went on, leaning back in his seat. “That kind of thing can add time onto your sentence. Not all the guards are going to be as forgiving as me.”

“None of the other guards have anything worth stealing.” Your tone was light, your answer given easily. Sometimes, he tried to picture what you’d look like frowning, yelling, or worse, with pursed lips, clenched fists, tears running down your cheeks as you tried to maintain what little dignity you had left, but he always came up empty. You were good at that – knowing just how much you could show without giving yourself away entirely. If Wriothesley was a crueler man, he may have been tempted to try and take you apart himself. “And even if they did, I’d still come to you first.” His response came in the form of an unimpressed scowl, and you chuckled. “C’mon! Even your heart can’t be cold enough not to find that at least a little bit touching, boss.”

Another sigh, this one somehow more drained than the last. “It’d mean more to me if your rehabilitation seriously,” and then, tapping his leg, “But, my treasured possessions aren’t all you’re here for, right?”

It was your turn to play exasperated, now, to groan and let your head lull to the side as you lowered yourself off of the desk and onto his lap, straddling his thigh and wrapping your arms around his neck. This was part of your routine, too – his favorite part, as loathed as he’d be to ever say that out loud. Try as he might, he had yet to find anything that could compare to the way your weight rested against his, to how your body head warmed just a touch of the chill that’d seeped under his skin and settled years ago. Not many things were able to live in the fortress, not for very long, and yet, here you were, just as radiant as the day the gardes brought you in. If he’d had a more scientific mind, he might’ve thought you were worth studying.

“How long?” Your voice drew him out of his thoughts. He hummed and you repeated yourself, as well-trained as you were rebellious. “How long do I have left before I’m free to go?”

He buried his face in the crook of your neck, resting his hands on your hips. “You can’t expect me to know something like that off the top of my head, love.”

“Yes, I can.” He felt you slump against him, your fingertips brush against the nape of his neck. “When it comes to me, I can.”

He let his eyes fall shut. “I requested another six months be added to your sentence last week,” he admitted, pressing an open-mouthed kiss into your throat “Since you had yet to show any signs of lasting rehabilitation. The Iudex approved it yesterday.”

You were so soft, too – uncalloused despite the pressure of the world above, the brutality of what waited for you below. He’d let you steal as many keys as you wanted to, so long as you never hardened. “This is the third extension you’ve asked for.”

“The longest, too.” He’d let you take anything from him, so long as it meant you never left his little world. “I doubt he even revisited your case. People in the overworld don’t tend to pay attention to the finer details of what does on down here, so long as I keep the factories running.”

For a second, he could’ve sworn he felt you stiffen, could’ve sworn he felt your grin waver where it was pressed into the dip of your shoulder.

Then, you were pulling away, your smile as bright as the sun’s light where it caught on the rising tide and twice as beautiful. “You’re never going to let me go, are you?”

This time, he couldn’t help but smile back.

“Not if I can help it.”

[all-purpose-dish-soap]

1.5k / 20 / post-apocalypse au, part 1

...

You're injured but moving as fast as you can with your bow slung over your back. Soap is close behind you, giving chase, shouting your name as he does. Doesn't he learn? Doesn't he know you'll pull your bow on him again if he corners you?

He must know, but he's too stubborn to give up the chase. You don’t understand it.

He pushes on, just as graceful and twice as effective as you. You slip through the thick trees and their branches trailing whips of brambles. He shoves past them. You’re injured. He’s not. He's gaining, boots heavy in the soil.

"Watch yourself--!"

Your boot lands on leaf litter that falls out from under you--a pit trap. You’re moving barely fast enough for your momentum to save you from falling in. Your waist hits the edge of the pit. You brace yourself by your elbows, fingers digging into the dirt. The soft underside of your arms drag against something sharp underneath.

Soap grabs you by your coat and pulls you up out of the trap and to your feet before you can scramble out yourself. You're neither surprised nor mollified by his careful handling of you.

"Let me go!"

"Na. You're hurt. Stay still."

"Soap, I swear to God--"

"Shut up. I'm taking a look."

He holds your arm firmly with one large hand and, with the other, pulls your sleeve away from the bleeding gash. You grab his wrist with a pained curse. Whatever caught your arms—the rough wood and metal at the trap's edge—tore you bloody. Soap glares at the gash and then at you. He's close.

You could reach for your bow or for the dagger on your hip. But you know for a fact he's armed. With guns. A sniper rifle on his back and two sidearms at his belt. He knows how to use them, too. If you fight, he wins. But you know better than to back down quickly. The world is crueler than it used to be ever since things went to shit. People who show weakness don’t survive.

"Why are you following me?" you growl, your grip on his wrist tightening.

His grip on you loosens in turn when you speak. "You know why. I'm lookin' out for ya."

"I didn't ask for your help."

"Aye, but you still needed it."

"You're not a soldier anymore, Soap," you retort, trying to pull your wrist away. "It's every person for themselves. Stop following me."

"That's no way to live. The world may be a shithole, but there are still folk around who'll lend you a hand even though they don't need to. Soldier or no'."

You can't get out of his grip when he's determined to keep you there, and he is. As much as you'd like to give him a matching wound for being so goddamn stubborn, the rational part of your brain--the part that makes sure you survive--knows better than to expend energy struggling when it's not strictly necessary.

"Nobody lends a hand unless they want something in return," you mutter, glaring down at your wound as he bandages it. "Even if they're pretending otherwise."

He knows you speak from experience. You're a woman, and that means you're nothing but a resource to the worst of whoever’s left. He can't blame you for being guarded. Then again, you wouldn't be making such heated statements to his face if you really thought he intended to hurt you. You're just... defensive. Hiding under all that anger. That's what he tells himself. So he ignores your grumbled protests.

"That's how you'd look at it," he finally replies as he finishes dressing the wound. "Seein' as you've not met the right people. But some of us don't expect anything back."

"You don't expect it because you think you're better than asking. But you still want it."

"Might be so." His voice is soft, gravelly, but you can hear the steel in it. "But am not asking, now am I? So stop your fussin'. You're safe. Nae need to worry." He releases your bandaged arm.

"You run your hand along the wrapping, checking it. "Fine. But I'm... I'm not coming back with you."

"Can't promise you'll be safe out there. Where do ye plan to go?"

"I don't know. Wouldn't tell you if I did."

"Aye." He rubs his jaw, examining you with flint in his blue eyes. Pressing you for an answer would be pointless. Not that you seem to be lying—but you're not telling the whole truth. The short history you share with him is just enough that he can tell. But he also knows trying to change your mind would be pointless. If you won't listen, he'd have better luck bashing his head against one of these huge, mutated oaks.

"Am nae stoppin' ya. But these woods are full of treacherous paths. If ye run into trouble—when ye run into trouble--my boys and I, we know these woods well enough to dust you off and send you in the right direction. Cannae promise to find you before somethin’ else does, though."

You're fairly sure he's not lying. His boys, as he calls them—his old squad, you think—they've made their home in these woods. It's perilous living—bears, wolves, muties, and terrain just as hazardous as the wildlife. And still those men are the most dangerous things in here.

The offer is tempting. You consider it for longer than you should, looking down at your bandaged arm again. But then you step back, shaking your head slowly. "No, thanks. I have to get going."

It tears him up inside. You're making the wrong choice. If he lets you walk away, he's letting you walk to your death.

He looks at you for a moment. You can tell he's got something more to say. But he changes his mind, stepping back as well. He pulls something from his belt and holds it out. A handgun, scuffed and black, grip held toward you. You stare at it for a second before looking back up at him. He's serious?

"I'm not gonna take that--"

"You're damn well gonna take it." His voice is low and insistent. "You think I don't know you'll run into trouble out here? Don't be a fool. I have spare. Take it."

Your one rule is don't owe anybody anything. How the fuck are you about to owe this man twice?

Fine. Whatever. It's not like you have to use it. Could just barter it. Not like you’re going to see him again. You take the gun, biting back a retort.

He nods his approval. The steely look in his eyes softens, though he still looks dismayed. "Mind where you point that. And when you pull it. Biters'll hear it for a mile and come running. Survivors, too. The curious ones." He glances at your bandaged arm one more time. Then he adjusts the bag over his shoulder and turns his back, walking away from you. Back to camp. "Am expectin' you to keep yourself alive with that," he growls. "Or else it's a lot of good time and material I wasted on ya."

"I didn't ask you to waste your breath," you retort, practically snarling at his retreating back in your irritation. You watch him go until he's disappeared into the trees. You need to make sure he doesn't plan on doubling back and following you.

Then you set off on your own. You take a winding path to throw off any trackers. Never can be too cautious. The gun in your pocket is heavy against your thigh, and you try not to think of it as a comforting security.

You came here to get Roach back, and you don’t care how long you have to wander this Godforsaken forest. You’re not leaving without him.

…

Soap feels your eyes on him until you disappear.

He wants to divorce himself from this, but he’s on edge. People who strike out on their own here come to a nasty end. But he’s not going to take away your agency by deciding what's best for you. You were right about him not being a soldier, after all. He doesn’t have the authority to herd you back to his squad’s campsite. Your life is in your own hands.

He just hopes you live to do better than he believes you will.

That night, he sleeps restlessly. Which is why, when he hears a cluster of gunshots in the distance, he wakes up instantly. It's you. In trouble.

The night watch—Gaz tonight—is already there, tossing Soap's gun to him. "You were right," Gaz says.

"Course I was," Soap says with a lopsided grin. "Owe me a ten-piece in the next poker game, aye?"

...

[part 1] / part 2 / part 3

more Soap / more multi-141 and poly 141 / masterlist tag

[onyxmilk]

Twilight x f!Reader; "Missing"

notes; i <3 angst writing!!! tw; angst, pregnancy, reader is referred to with she/her pronouns, loid went to get milk without even realizing wc; 1.5k

[YourName] stood there, uncharacteristically caught off guard. She knew there would be missions where Twilight couldn’t say where he was going or how long he’d be, but right now? When she had the biggest news of their lives to share? That simply was crueler than just cruel.

The woman looked down, nodding toward The Handler. “Uhm, okay, well, thank you.” [YourName] said, swallowing thickly before going to turn around. “I know you’re with child, (AgentName).” The Handler said making [YourName] halt in her foot steps, “I-I may be.” [YourName] replied.

“That’s wonderful news. Do you want me to send a message to Twilight?” The Handler asks, and as much as [YourName] wanted her husband to know- she shook her head. “No, I’ll let him know whenever he gets back. Even if it’s years later.” [YourName] said before heading back home.

Once home and the doors were locked, windows drawn to a close too, [YourName] finally broke down. She wasn’t ready to be a single mother, but from the way The Handler wanted to hand such a useless message to Twilight, [YourName] knew it was going to be quite a long time before [YourName] gets to feel Twilight’s lips against her own.

[YourName] curled into a ball on the couch, finally finished crying her eyes out. Afterwards she took a shower, made a dinner she’d share with her baby, and then headed to bed for the night. [YourName] didn’t dream that night, she just blinked and it morning.

She called out of work for the month, only returning to the office when she was five months pregnant, or around that time period. She didn’t expect to open the door and confetti be popped around her, but it happened. She should have expected something like this.

“Congratulations! We heard you were pregnant!” A co-worker said excitedly, [YourName] simply nodded with a bittersweet smile. “Oh, yeah, five months along.” [YourName] says, gently placing a hand on her forming bump. There was a small office baby shower for [YourName] which she had no choice but to accept.

For the next five months, [YourName] was pampered around the office, not that she asked for it- it seemed to just happen. [YourName] found out about the mission her husband had been sent on, and all she could summarize from it was that he played therapist and dad for another family.

The day someone accidentally spoiled what Twilight was doing, [YourName] excused herself to the bathroom where she cried out everything she had held back. She wanted Twilight to play father for the family they had made together. She would exit her bathroom, that’s when her water finally broke.

Her co-worker rushed her to the nearest hospital, which happened to be the one Twilight played Loid Forger at. [YourName] sat in her room, holding her arms, alone. She never in a million years thought she’d be alone in this situation, shes read many books where women have been, but she swore she’d never be alone in labor.

[YourName] munched on ice chips between tears, that’s when a familiar face had knocked on the door and entered, “Nightfall-“ [YourName] said clearing her throat, wiping her face, and setting the cup of ice chips down. “Twilight is simply across the building, we just have to tell him that [AgentName] is in the bit thing unit, he’d come.” Nightfall explained to [YourName], it just made the pregnant woman scoff.

“It’s not fair to distract him from his work, he has a wife and daughter to act out with.” [YourName] says, looking away from Twilight’s co-worker. “Yes, true, but you’re his real wife and you’re giving birth to his first born.” Nightfall says as she attempted to convince the woman to tell Twilight about her situation, “I made my decision, maybe he should’ve tried to reach out through The Handler.” [YourName] says.

Oh. Yeah. Nightfall was suppose to give those check in messages to The Handler. Oops. Nightfall sighed, “Your secret is safe with me.” she promised before exiting the room.

[YourName] sighed, and before she knew it, she was giving birth. The whole pushing and breathing thing was so much harder than she expected. She swore she almost fainted, but she shot right back into consciousness when she heard the cry of her baby. “It’s a girl!” The doctor said, gently setting the baby on [YourName]’s chest.

[YourName] cried happy tears for the first time her entire pregnancy. Instantly, baby girl stopped crying and cuddled into her mom’s chest. It melted [YourName]’s heart, she never wanted to let go of such a tiny thing before. Eventually, the nurses had to take the baby girl to wash her up and place her in a warm blanket and hat.

With the help of a co-worker, [YourName] got home with her daughter three days later. Lotte, meaning ‘free’ in German, settled in nicely. How [YourName] wished she had Twilight with her on some nights to cheer her up and explain how he’ll get Lotte so that she could get rest instead. But [YourName] pushed through, not letting herself get too down in the dumps due to it.

Months would pass, Lotte was finally almost ten months old. Lotte watched as her mother scattered around the room, going in and out of the kitchen, cleaning. It started to bother the baby that she wasn’t getting the attention she wanted, so she began to get fussy, which her mom simply put off as ‘hating the boppy’.

Fussy turned into crying, and [YourName] was right there. She held her daughter in her arms, gently rocking her, trying everything in her power to calm her down. “M..” baby Lotte mumbled “Mama..” she cried. Despite the crying, it was clear as day who Lotte was crying for and it warmed every ounce of [YourName]’s broken heart.

It had been over a year and some things had changed since Twilight had gone on his mission. It had been over an entire year, and since there were still no messages from him- [YourName] didn’t send any to him either. It broke her heart that she had to play single mom when she was legally married to Twilight.

It just proved to herself that she could do this alone, sure she had a bit of help from co-workers, but it was mostly her doing all the work! The thought of possibly divorcing him had floated through her head, but she loved Twilight way too damn much to go through with it.

Another year would pass and Lotte was walking now, sure she had a little wobble to her walk- but she was walking! It was one of those nice days where she was sure nothing could’ve gone bad, so [YourName] decided to take Lotte out for a little treat. Over the last two years, [YourName] realized her daughter loved those soft cake pops from a local café. So her daughter would get a cake pop and [YourName] would get something to drink.

As [YourName] entered into the café with Lotte in her arms, she hardly noticed Franky and a pink haired child sitting together. By the time the mother did notice, Franky had noticed her fully first. [YourName] set Lotte on the chair and unwrapped her cake pop before breaking it into fours and taking the stick away, she then sat down next to her daughter.

That is when Franky had approached her, now she knew who he was- he was the closest thing Twilight had as a friend. “[AgentName]?” The short man asked, out of habit [YourName] turned around slightly to face whoever called her name. “Oh.. Franky..!” [YourName] said, blinking a few times to try and see better.

“Oh my god, it is you!” Franky said, dropping the child’s hand. “Where have you been? Who’s this?” He asked, referring to Lotte. Lotte was too busy stuffing her face to notice a stranger doting over her. [YourName] sighed, “I’ll tell you who she is if you tell me who she is.” she said making Franky nod.

With some hesitation, [YourName] would finally tell Franky; “This is Lotte, she’s Twi’s and I’s daughter.” she announced. Franky practically blew up as he malfunctioned, he covered the pink haired girl’s ears before he spoke, “Thats not possible. Twilight has been on his mission for two years.” Franky defended, “And I was pregnant before he left, now who is she?” [YourName] replied, gesturing to the child Franky had with him.

The pink haired girl pushed Franky’s hands off her ears. “I’m Anya Forger! Loid and Yor Forger’s daughter!” Anya introduced, but then it kicked in for Anya that THIS woman was Loid’s REAL wife. “Your baby is pretty.” Anya said, trying to break tension.

“I’ve got to go.” [YourName] scoffed, cleaning up her and Lotte’s area before getting up and picking her daughter up and going to leave. “He didn’t want to leave, [AgentName],” Franky said across the café. “Yet, he did and hasn’t sent a message since.” [YourName] says before exiting the café.

Franky had a lot of information to pass to Twilight this afternoon.

[chaedomi]

i'm currently thinking about men who are dangerous. i'm talking about men who are capable of instilling fear in the hearts of many with a simple mention of their name. men who are utterly vile and straight-up diabolical. men who have a terrifying reputation… where people are baffled when they see how soft and putty they become in the presence of their cute, sweet wife. (cw: yandere, implied violence) / mlist.

LANTE is known to be beyond merciless. It does not matter the age, gender, etc… once you are deemed unfit and unworthy of his time and effort, he will simply discard you like a piece of garbage without second thoughts. He claims to be foreign to the concept of love, but, as of now, he has morphed into a stuttering and sweaty mess under the presence of his wife, who stood in the background with her arms folded and a displeased pout plastered on her face. He very well knew how much she disapproved of his methods, and god, was it a sight to see such a powerful man’s visage crumble in seconds flat. He debates with himself, whether to usher you off and have you wait for him, or leave with you. However, he quickly chooses the second option when he catches the smallest teardrops at the corner of your eyes, rushing to your side. He is aware that your tears are fake. Damn, he couldn't bear it at all, wanting to get rid of your 'grief' whether it may be slow-dancing with you in the privacy of your room, or drowning you in riches. And with a lovestruck smile, an expression he has not given to anyone else, he left the dungeons beside you, leaving the formerly tortured prisoner dumbfounded and in awe.

Many tend to walk eggshells around DION as a result of his fearsome personality. They have heard of the gruesome things he does to his victims and without much effort too, as though it were some everyday activity to him. Dion was also known to be crueler and more sadistic than his father, so, it was even worse if he was already in a bad mood, where anything could set him off in the wrong manner. However, it was just beyond impossible for him to remain upset, especially when his wife would happily approach him, clinging onto him and squishing her cheek against his arm. Everyone saw it, how much Dion adored you. To him, you were this beautiful possession made for him, and him alone. Dion was mostly emotionless and indifferent. While his face doesn’t often display emotions, the rare sparkle of light in his eyes whenever he was around you was hard to miss. Gently caress his cheek, brush back his hair when he falls asleep in his chair, embrace him when he returns from a mission, do it all to him, he is a sucker for it, for you. People admit it’s sweet, even the enemies he made. But, as soon as the light dims in his eyes when he turns to glare at them, they are falling over as they try to run away…

©chaedomi. please do not modify, edit, copy or reproduce any of the works published.

[yuurei20]

Good morning/evening! Would you consider comparing the personalities of the twst guys in the novels to their personalities in the game at some point in the future? I’ve heard that the guys are depicted as crueler or more villainous with the extra space the novels give. Thank you!

Hello hello! Thank you for this question!

This answer is very long m(_ _)m (thank you for this opportunity to share novel 2 fan art 🦁)

Riddle (novel 1): I do not believe there were too many changes made to Riddle in the first novel? A lot of things may come down to personal feeling/subjective interpretation (re: Riddle’s desperation for his mother’s affection maybe put across more effectively in the novel? etc.).

Riddle (novel 2): Riddle’s admiration of Leona is new! And not requiring conjecture or reading between the lines, as Riddle outright says that he has always respected Leona. (Ref: Riddle on Leona: The Housewarden Meeting / Riddle’s Confession)

Riddle is also described as being envious of how Malleus is so adored by his dorm’s students, saying that he doesn’t think Malleus is a good Housewarden but there must be something he can learn from him, as he is so respected. (ref: Riddle on Malleus)

Trey/Cater (novel 1): Both Trey and Cater seem very similar to their game counterparts.

Trey (novel 2): Trey does not appear very much in novel 2, seeming very similar to his game counterpart.

Cater (novel 2): This may be a subjective interpretation, but it seemed a little as though Cater was more protective of Riddle in the 2nd novel than in Book 2 of the game, with his grudge against Leona possibly inspired more so against Leona’s insult of Riddle than his physical thrashing in the mock spelldrive match. (Ref: Spelldrive Practice Match (pt5) / Trusting Riddle )

There is also emphasis in narration of Cater’s loyalty to those around him (Ref: Cater and Yuuya).

Ace (novel 1): I wonder if maybe Ace is where the “crueler or more villainous” rumors are coming from? 👀 Ace is certainly rude to Yuuya in the first novel, calling him a bore and repeatedly yelling at him to say what is on his mind.

But unlike Game-Ace, he also apologies to Yuuya for being so aggressive (Ref: Ace Apologizes).

There is a lot more depth to Ace’s character overall, with his motivations and personality really shining! He is a great character in the game, of course, and maybe even greater in the novelization. (Ref: Yuuya and Ace / Yuuya Apologizes)

Ace (novel 2): Ace refuses outright to help Yuuya interview people about the injured students. He explains that he does not have anything else to do but he still will not be helping, and Yuuya goes to Pomefiore alone as a result.

Carried over from the first novel there is a theme of both Ace and Deuce not being able to trust Riddle and speaking disparagingly about him throughout the story.

This culminates at the end when Riddle cheers for them in the exhibition match, and it is hinted that, one day, Riddle may be accepted by the students of his dorm. (ref: Trusting Riddle)

Deuce (novels 1&2): We get to see more of Deuce’s efforts to be an honor student in the novel, such as when he sits with the lonely Yuuya at lunch (ref: Yuuya and Deuce).

He consistently tries to defend Riddle to Ace, not out of affection or respect so much as wanting to overcome his own past self. His resilience wanes as Ace’s belittling of Riddle continues throughout the two novels and he does not have much ground to stand on to defend him. (Ref: About Riddle (pt1))

Leona (novel 1): The rewriting of Leona’s introduction is maybe one of my favorite things about the first novel (ref: Meeting Leona). Rather than threatening to harm the prefect as in the game Leona goes to Yuuya’s rescue, saving both Yuuya and Deuce from the bullies that break the eggs they bought for the chestnut tart.

Leona (novel 2): There is much more to novel-Leona than was in the game, with Riddle reflecting on his dazzling confidence (ref: Riddle on Leona).

On the "more villainous" side, it is insinuated that he intentionally injures Cater during their mock spelldrive match (ref: Spelldrive Practice Match (pt3))

In the game Leona laughs in response to Lilia driving him to overblot but in the novel he loses all emotion, which Yuuya reflects on later as being far more terrifying than his rage. (Ref: The Transformation / Cheka (pt3)).

We also get much more detail about his unique magic: while we know from the game that he does not need to touch things to turn them to sand, in the novel he has the ability to kinetically manipulate the sand that he creates.

There is an amazing description of insects falling, dead, out of the sky, having been reduced to dried-out husks in mid-flight, combined with what is maybe the only description we ever receive of Leona looking afraid.

And what he is frightened of is not Riddle, Lilia or his enemies, but the adoring members of his own dorm, whom he is terrified of failing. (Ref: Leona’s Unique Magic (pt1) / Leona’s Unique Magic (pt2))

Leona’s relationship to his dormmates itself may have been rewritten for the novel, but nothing in the game seems to refute it, so it is not difficult to imagine the same situation playing out behind the scenes in the game as well.

Leona himself says in the game that he is fighting for the futures of his dorm mates, but he is always so sarcastic that it is easy to dismiss this as an excuse he is making to Jack, when he may have just been telling the truth.

Unlike in the game Leona interacts directly with the phantom that is born of his own despair and he is described as crying tears of blot. (Ref: The Overblot Battle)

I was a little more organized with the release of the second novel than the first, and have a small collection of fan art by others who illustrated the before-and-after-novel of their impressions of Leona!

(↑ How the situation at Savanaclaw appears to be vs. how it is from Leona’s point of view)

(↑ Cheka’s game scene vs. Cheka's novel scene)

Leona’s post-overblot flashback is also fleshed out very much in the novel, with added details about how hard working and isolated he had been until the birth of Cheka, which led him to giving up, and how much he hates himself. (Ref: Leona and Falena / The Flashback Monologue)

(↑ Leona’s phantom is described as nuzzling against him in the novel)

The monologue also explains a lot of his inner turmoil, how frightened he is and how he actually doesn’t have the strength to give up on his hopes and dreams, despite everyone around him talking as though he already has.

(↑ Artist’s rendition of game-Falena vs. novel-Falena)

We also receive more details about the Spelldrive match, showcasing Leona’s non-UM magical power and athleticism, and how the students of Savanaclaw still trust in him even after his mental break, in contrast to the students of Heartslabyul and Riddle. (Ref: The Exhibition Match (pt3))

Ruggie (novel 2): There is some wonderful detail added to Ruggie in the second novel, including an interesting new dimension to his relationship with Leona.

(↑ Artist’s interpretation of their impression of Ruggie and Leona’s dynamic before reading the novel vs. after reading the novel)

In the Botanical Garden scene Ruggie reflects in narration on how Leona would surely throw him away if he ever tried to stand up for himself, and how captivated he is by Leona’s ambitions (ref: The Botanical Garden Scene).

In the scene where Ruggie offers to ��take care of” the troublesome Jack, we receive a look into how it is Ruggie is walking on eggshells around Leona, for his own safety. (Ref: Leona and Jack (pt3))

The scene of Ruggie running away in Book 2 also had added details, with Ruggie briefly losing his apathetic mask and revealing a hint of the trauma of his upbringing. (Ref: Ruggie Escape (pt5))

There is much more detail into Ruggie’s inner turmoil as well, and particularly in the scene where Leona confronts him for being nearly caught out by Riddle and the others. (Ref: Savanaclaw Dorm (pt2)). He reflects on Leona’s arrogance, his struggles back home, and the desperation of his situation. 

Their interaction during Leona’s overblot was also expanded upon, with an overblotting Leona threatening Ruggie with his life if he does not agree to give up on his dreams, and Ruggie refusing to do so (Ref: Leona and Ruggie, to overblot (pt2))

Jack (novel 2): We receive a little more detail in Jack’s admiration for Leona, and how Leona’s words actually do resonate with Jack, though he may try and pretend to be unfazed. (Ref:  Leona and Jack (pt1)) / Leona and Jack (pt2)) 

(↑Jack remembering how moved he was watching Leona lose to Malleus in his second year)

There is added detail to Jack’s relationships with Ace, Deuce and Yuuya, as he seeks them out intentionally before the spelldrive match. (Ref: Jack and Yuuya) 

Also unique to the novel Ruggie overtakes Jack’s body to take down Leona’s phantom, while Jack come close to refusing to participate in the spelldrive tournament and Yuuya steps in to reveal how much Jack respects Leona to Leona himself. (Ref: The Overblot Battle / Jack and Leona (pt4))

We also see Leona and Jack working together during the exhibition match, just as Jack had always dreamed. (Ref: The Exhibition Match (pt2))

(↑ Also there is Azul’s introduction to Yuuya, Ace, Deuce and Grim, added to Novel 2 while it did not happen in Game-Book 2. Ref: Meeting Azul (pt1) / Meeting Azul (pt2))

This went very much off-topic from the original question 💦 But while I do agree that there is increased villainousness in the novels, there is also an increase in depth, feeling and detail overall! ^^ Highly recommended!

[yesimwriting]

Untethered

part 2 of Understanding 

Summary: As you and Aegon grow closer, thoughts of the future leave you more uneasy than ever. The questions of war and marriage are foes you cannot escape, especially when influenced by the other greens.

Warnings: plot deviations (mainly the implication that helaena isn't married to aegon and her twins being someone else's ik it'd make canonical sesne for aegon to be able to have 2 wives, especially as king, but this is just a way to make the greens more desperate for aegon to get married and produce an heir), ethics?, and canon compliant incest (reader is rhaenyra’s daughter)

----

There is nothing crueler than a lack of conviction. Your mother and family are preparing for a war that seems to grow more inevitable by the day, Aegon spends his days planning retaliations and strategizing ways to strengthen his feeble claim to the throne, and you are left at a standstill.

The worry and guilt meld together in your veins, the unease pulling you from reality. It doesn't matter that you're currently sitting in the library, away from the Hightowers--away from Aegon. Your current distance cannot undue what has already been done.

You did not mean to care for Aegon, you did not want to care for Aegon. How are you supposed to go home and look your mother in the eye while knowing that you welcomed her usurper into your childhood apartments like an old friend? That you allowed him to sleep in your bed? That you--that you allowed him to kiss you?

You blink, eyes focusing on the pages in front of you. Your mother, your siblings, Daemon, Rhaena Baela--you have to assume that they're all fine. You cannot allow a moment's curiosity to send you down a spiral.

And Aegon--there is no point in worrying about Aegon. As of now, the Red Keep is his. He's safe here, and with the realm so divided, no one is going to suggest sending him anywhere.

"I should have known you'd be here." You blink, head turning towards the stacks. Aegon's standing between rows of books, only a few steps away from the table you've claimed as your own. "I checked your apartments first, foolish of me."

He's watching you, a soft smile playing at his lips. You latch onto that. "I haven't been here that long."

Aegon takes a step forward, his attention shifting away from you and towards the few books stacked neatly by your side. "No...it seems I'm only about 3 books late."

His grin becomes a more certain thing as he moves towards your table. He pulls out the chair next to yours. Instead of sitting right away, Aegon leans forward, his lips pressing against yours.

The kiss is as warm as it is jarring. Knowing that you should stop this is not enough to rid you of the desire to melt into his touch. He pulls back before you can truly react. "Aegon."

He grins, keeping his body angled towards you as he sits. "We're the only ones in here."

Despite his reassurance, your eyes still drift towards the stacks blocking off your seats from the rest of the library. Maybe your tendency to choose secluded seating areas as a way of avoiding as many skeptical glances as possible is paying off. You look at Aegon again, nodding your head slowly.

His smile slowly falls. "Are you alright?"

You can't imagine that he wants to hear about the way you worry about your family and the guilt you feel for wanting to be around him. If anything, telling him about what's concerning you may alienate him. There's nothing trustworthy about an untethered heart.

You nod again, this time the motion more direct. "Yes." You sit up a little straighter in an attempt to feel more connected to what's in front of you. "I'm just a little tired."

His eyebrows pinch together briefly. The look is so pensive you have to work at not squirming. After a beat, he softens. He leans towards you, voice dropping to just above a whisper as he asks, "Did something keep you from your sleep last night, Princess?"

The suggestive lilt to Aegon's voice leaves your skin warmer than it was moment ago. His smugness is only encouraged by your silence. "Someone, actually."

"Really?" He grins, an elbow coming onto the table to prop up his chin. "Do tell."

You hum once, pretending to need to think through your response. "There's not much to tell." Your eyebrows draw together as you mime contemplating even further. "He was quite tiresome. He was so talkative it made it difficult for me, of all people, to find sleep."

Aegon's glare makes it difficult for you to not laugh. "Very funny." Before you can facetiously thank him for recognizing your sense of humor, Aegon continues, "I'm curious, is that why you crawled onto my lap last night? To shut me up?"

The blood in your veins turns to ice. An uneasy heat burns its way through your chest and up your neck. Despite being aware of your solitude, your eyes instinctually dart towards the stacks behind Aegon. "I did--I was not on your lap."

He relaxes in his seat, raising his eyebrows as he presses his lips together in a way that does little to disguise his smirk. "That's not the way I recall it."

In an attempt to ignore the lingering warmth still burning your skin, you roll your eyes. Despite his attempts at flustering you, you're still glad for his company.

"If it is sleep you desire," Aegon's arm moves towards the table, a book you hadn't noticed in his grasp, "Perhaps this can help." You glance between him and the book curiously. "It's a collection of some of the most notable accounts of dragons and what they accomplished with their riders." He pauses, lips briefly pressing together. "I'm sure you're familiar with some of the stories, but this is an updated volume."

He--Aegon--After missing your family for so long, such a personal and genuine gesture nearly makes your eyes sting. As a child, when you spent the most time around Aegon, all you ever wanted to do was recount stories of the most fearsome dragons. As you grew, the interest never left you, you just learned to talk about it less.

There's something so comforting about being understood like this. "You brought me a book on dragon history?"

He's staring at his hands. "In the first few pages, there's an illustration of a dragon that looks a lot like Eveningstar."

You beam, opening the book. "I love it."

The corner of his mouth pulls itself upwards. "Yeah?" His hands come to rest on the table's hardwood surface. Aegon shifts forward, his knee brushing against yours. "Read to me?"

You nod, turning the pages until you find the start of the first chapter. "Balerion the Black Dread."

The story is one you know well. Balerion's time with Daenys the Dreamer, Balerion being one of five dragons to escape Dragonstone, Balerion's conquests with Aegon's namesake.

As you read, Aegon moves closer. His breath is a warm, barely there thing against the side of your neck. You know better than to give him the satisfaction of a reaction, concentrating on the words in front of you.

Sensing your determination to ignore him, Aegon lifts a hand away from the table. You tense, but continue to read. He finds a strand of loose strand of hair that's fallen past your shoulder. He pulls the strand back, fingers lingering against your collarbone.

Your own lungs betray you, your breath briefly catching itself in your throat. "Aegon."

"What?" He doesn't move away, he doesn't even bother to stop smoothing back your hair. "You're the most honorable princess in the realm, surely you're not this easily distracted."

Your face warms. The years you've dedicated to being the ideal princess, the heir's perfect daughter in hopes of preventing being a source of controversy in debates of your mother's claim cannot be taken away so easily. You can't compromise who you are now, not over something you barely understand. "I'm not distracted." The defense rings weak in your ears.

"Perfect," he hums, hand settling against your shoulder, "Then we shouldn't have an issue."

Aegon leans forward, his lips brushing against the exposed skin of your shoulder. Your stomach knots in a way that you do not comprehend. Confusion and hesitant curiosity are not enough to keep you from what you know. You stiffen, pulling back slightly. Your movements aren't a true rejection, but they're enough to indicate your surprise.

He's grinning. "We're still alone."

His easygoingness is infectious. You only manage to hold onto your frown for a few seconds before your smile is matching his own. "You're incorrigible." The words lack any malice.

Maybe in another life, another world in which your mother's status as heir could be easily accepted, things could have been different. A new wave of guilt crashes into you, this one less certain than the others. You're a traitor to your mother for caring about him, and a traitor to Aegon for wishing that you cared less.

"Keep trying, I'm sure you'll crack me eventually."

Your smile broadens. His presence is such a welcomed warmth, you're briefly overwhelmed by how happy you are that he's here, safe and in your presence. The feeling comes close to dislodging the worry from your chest. You lean into that. "I'm glad you're here."

Aegon's eyebrows draw together, his eyes searching yours. You're not sure what he's looking for in your expression, but he seems to find it because after a beat he's smiling again. "I should visit you during the day more often."

Your thumb slowly leafs through the edge of the book's pages. "No--I mean--yes, I'm glad you're here with me, but I'm also glad you're here, as in somewhere safe." You pause, the words attempting to stick to the back of your throat. "Where I know nothing bad is going to happen to you."

His silence digs at you. An expression of such concern, a reminder of your reality is a misstep you're not sure you can recover from. The nail of your thumb presses itself between the pages in front of you. "You worry about me?"

You blink. "Sometimes." Letting out a careful breath, you turn your head enough to look at him. "When I let myself think about life beyond King's Landing."

Aegon's expression is somber in a way that doesn't suit him. His hand reaches for yours. "Anyone would be a fool to attack us with Vhagar guarding the city." You let him squeeze your palm to his. "And as far as life beyond King's Landing, I have no intention to leave anytime soon. Not with everything worth my attention already within reach."

The comment is such a blatant attempt at flattery, you should be annoyed. Instead, you feel the corner of your mouth pull itself into a smile. "Worthy of your attention? I'm honored."

He eases at that, his thumb dragging itself across his knuckles. "What happened to being worried sick over me?"

You roll your eyes, but make no attempt to pull away. "You're exaggerating."

"I," he sighs, "Am mortally wounded."

You fight an instinctual grin, lips pressing together to keep your expression measured as you turn in your seat. Your eyes land on the stacks before you can look at Aegon. Some half thought out comment about his theatrics lodges itself in the back of your throat.

Standing where the shelves part, expression harsh in its blankness, is Alicent Hightower. You take your hand back as quickly as possible, spine straightening in an attempt to create as much distance as possible. Aegon's eyebrows pull together, but before he can ask, Alicent clears her throat.

He moves his arm back before angling himself forward. You force yourself to stare at book in front of you. How long has Alicent been standing there? Was she waiting to witness some kind of mistake or has she already seen one?

"Pardon me." She steps forward, her voice flat. "I did not mean to impose." Alicent glances at her son before allowing her stare to find you.

"There is no imposition." Aegon's voice is measured, his certainty in the casualness of the situation bleeding into each syllable. "I'm only here to show her a book."

Her eyebrows pinch together, "A book?"

The skepticism coating her words makes it nearly impossible to remain still. An uncomfortable warmth begins to crawl up your neck. "We were discussing it." The look she gives you is far from one that indicates any extent of belief. In all honesty, you can't even fault her for her suspicions. You clasp your hands beneath the table, keeping your expression as polite as possible as you hesitantly tack on her title, "Your Highness."

She watches you for another beat before turning her attention back to her eldest son. "Alright. Aegon, your brother is looking for you. Apparently, you were supposed to meet, but clearly, you lost track of time."

Aegon, still completely unbothered by his mother's surprise appearance, relaxes in his seat. "Meetings with Aemond are more rigorous than meetings with the entire Small Council, I apologize for not being eager to begin yet another conversation about Vhagar's uses."

Alicent's stare turns into something distinctly pointed and maternal. With that, Aegon stands. "I should not keep him waiting any longer." He rests a hand on the back of your chair. "Once you're finished here, maybe you should find Helaena. I'm sure she'd enjoy the company."

While enjoying Aegon's company may make you feel like a viper turning against her own blood, you're certain your mother would never have a problem with you spending time with Helaena. As children, you would often run through the gardens with her, listening diligently whenever she'd tell you about any creature that caught her eye.

Presently, she's been a constant beacon of positivity. Before you grew closer to Aegon, she'd often comfort you whenever worry and loneliness lunged at your heart. Even when you couldn't understand the phrases she'd speak to you, you could always tell that they were meant to be optimistic, the words usually implying something about a kinder future.

You nod. "Alright, I will."

With that, Aegon straightens. He offers you a final glance before walking forward. You watch as he disappears between the shelves, leaving you alone with his mother.

Alicent's presence has never been a simple thing to you. Even as a child, whenever you became the object of your grandsire's easily fleeting attention, Alicent's appearances often made you feel the need to put on a performance of sorts, like each casual question and polite smile was an attempt to find some flaw in you.

You're sure she'll either leave or give you an excuse to disappear after some passive aggressive comment masked behind a proper dismissal. You wait as casually as you can manage, your hands clasped together tightly beneath the table.

She straightens slightly, her hands coming together in front of her. "My son seems to have taken an interest in you." The sentence, though spoken much too factually to be an accusation, leaves you on edge. "And he rarely takes an interest in much."

The nail of your thumb digs into your hand. "I'm not sure I'd say he--"

"I know my children, I know the way Aegon is." Though jarring, the interruption is welcome. You weren't sure were you were going with your defense. "And as of late, he has been...different." She takes a breath. "I understand your mother has raised you with certain ambitions, expectations." Your expression hardens at that. "But you've always been an intelligent young woman, I'm sure at least a part of you understands our duty to the realm."

The sentiment is a reflection of the same placating speech you've witnessed others deliver to your mother again and again. Contrasting iterations of the same general warning--the men of the realm will never bend their knee to a woman. Those that remind your mother of this always choose to forget that those same men they're so worried about had once bent their knee to swear obeisance to her.

You've promised yourself that you'd get through your time in the Red Keep by remaining as neutral as possible. Your position is precarious enough without you adding to the fire. But this is an argument you've heard so many times before. "My mother intends to create a new order."

Alicent sighs before falling silent. When she finally speaks again, her words shock you, "Perhaps she will." Your surprise renders you incapable of responding. "Or perhaps Aegon's claim to the throne will be upheld. In all honesty, I do not know."

She takes a small step forward. Something behind her expression shifts, the stoic set of her features cracking enough to reveal something heavier. "But I do know how this will end for you. The men will fight, they will render their decision, and no matter who sits the Iron Throne, you will still have a royal womb."

Her eyes are wider, shinier than you've ever seen them. The expression makes her appear smaller. "No matter the order of things, a noble woman will still need to continue her family's line. A Targaryen woman, even more than most."

She blinks in an attempt to vanish whatever honesty had overtaken her. It doesn't work, the lingering somberness somehow making her appear younger, perhaps even similar to the version of her that had once been her mother's friend. The thought of her as a girl not much different than you, with dreams and friendships meant to last a lifetime built within the walls of the Red Keep, twists your stomach.

She had been around your age when she married your grandsire, hadn't she? You dismiss the thought, pressing your lips together. "Any match you are attempting to push me towards would only strengthen your family's claim to the throne."

"I won't insult you by pretending a union between you and Aegon wouldn't help unify dividing lines or that you have not already proven yourself a beneficial influence on him." Her voice feels flat.

Alicent's eyes find yours, but the longer you stare at her the less you see. "I am not speaking to you as a queen, or as a mother. I am speaking to you as a woman. There are fates much worse than wedding a man that cares for you."

She nods once, expression still unsettlingly vulnerable as she turns to leave. Alicent disappears behind the stacks, the even sound of her footsteps growing softer until you're completely alone again.

Once you're certain that she's beyond the library's threshold, you turn your attention back to the book in front of you. Alicent's words will mean nothing to you, you'll make sure of it.

----

Wide eyes stare up at you, their innocence adding a soft glow to violet irises. Jaehaerys blinks at you before stretching his arms out towards you.

The gesture is so simple, so familiar it's nearly dizzying. All of your brothers had been babes once, and now some of them are old enough to prepare to fight, to die. And the ones that are still small might grow up seeing you as a traitor and not the older sister that helped cradle them through fussy nights and cared for them.

"He wants you," Helaena says, her attention briefly shifting away from the little girl on her lap.

Her gentle prompting is enough to bring you back to the present. You nod, abandoning your own seat in favor of approaching the little prince. You bend down, carefully lifting Jaehaerys before settling him on your hip. He takes to you easily, smiling as his tiny fingers curl into the fabric of your dress's sleeve. The gesture is terribly heartwarming.

"He likes you," she hums, her voice soft as she smooths circles against Jaehaera's back. "That's a good thing. He's particular."

You cannot imagine him being difficult. "Oh, I don't know, he seems forgiving." You sway slightly, the repetitive movement something you vaguely remember your younger siblings liking. "It's been some time since I've seen my youngest brothers."

She presses her lips together in a sympathetic sort of smile. "The morning star takes its time reaching its place."

The phrase means very little to you, but the sentiment of it is clear enough. Something of patience, of things eventually falling into place. "It does."

Helaena smiles again, this time the look a little warmer.

You let your attention return to Jaehaerys. He's still content, one hand holding onto you and the other gripping a wooden toy. "Do you like it?" You're not sure what shocks you more, your words or how much you mean them. "Motherhood..." Your mind forces out the second part of your question without your permission, "Marriage?"

Her lips part, but before she can say anything, the doors behind her creak open. Your hold on Jaehaerys tightens as you turn your head.

The doors are still parted when your eyes lock. You look away from Aegon immediately, focus falling to the babe on your hip. He continues forward, greeting you both before stopping a few paces behind Helaena's seat.

His gaze finds you again, this time his eyes expressing a familiarity you cannot bring yourself to reciprocate. "You're with the twins." Aegon steps past his sister's chair, turning himself towards her. "Helaena, do you need the princess's assistance, or can I steal her from you?"

She straightens slightly, "You can have her. Alyce will be here soon to help put the children to bed."

Your eyebrows draw together skeptically. Why ask Helaena before asking you? "Steal me?" You smooth a hand against Jaehaerys's back. "For what?"

"Every day I hear complaints about Eveningstar."

Your eyes narrow. Of course Eveningstar is acting out. She is being kept farther from you than she has ever been, she has not gotten to fly for some time, and she misses her home. You've been told before that your dragon is complicated, some have even called her spoiled, but you will not tolerate true criticisms of her. "She is under stress and kept in a stable I am not allowed to visit all day and night, of course she's growing restless."

The corner of Aegon's mouth pulls itself upwards. "I know." You blink, unsure where he's going with this. "I also know that she prefers to fly beneath the moon."

You blink. The easy cadence, the grin struggling to not overtake his expression, the way he's watching you. All of it seems to imply something that you've never let yourself hope for. No matter how much favor Aegon has shown you, you've never been offered a chance to see Eveningstar let alone fly her.

"I--I'm not--" The thought of your girl being within reach is almost overwhelmingly wonderful.

You try to focus on the reality of the situation. Technically, you're hostage of war, it'd be impossible to justify letting you near your dragon. It's also late, meaning that being seen alone with Aegon is a danger in its own right. Still, the thought of getting to be with Eveningstar... "Really?"

Aegon gives into his smile, "I'll meet you in an hour."

----

a/n this got really long so i'm splitting it into a third part (and maybe more bc i have a whole expanded arch idea so if this turns into a series that was completely accidental 😭)

Taglist: @thesleepwalker @6ofdreamers @torchbearerkyle @hajimeiwaswife

[potatoplace]

Control

Azriel x Reader

Part 2

Story Summary: On your 145th birthday, your mate Azriel has a very special day planned for you. His only requirement of you is that you give up control and follow your instincts.

Warnings: mentions of abuse and domestic violence, killing your husband, ddlg, allusions to sex, egregious usage of pet names

Words: ~7.4k (~8.9k total)

Author's Note: okay so it's finally here! I know, I know, it took me a lot longer than I'd planned to get it out, but it's also 3x the length I had thought it would be... so there's that lol. Think of this as my apology for loml + my tears ricochet, some cute sweet fluffy goodness with Az to make up for the heartbreak. Also, I'm not sure how much I like this piece, the concept was really fun it was just a bit difficult starting and getting the words to flow. I just know that I appreciate all of the pet names... I hope you all enjoy, and thank you for reading! Oh and there's a second part, since there's a text block limit on here, that will be up in a few minutes.

p.s. there may be a true second part to this, basically a smutty epilogue, if I feel like writing it later

18+ only pls

💙🤍💙🤍💙

Azriel had always tried and succeeded in making your birthdays special. He knew the way you were raised had ruined them for you, nothing but a count down to the day you would be sold off like cattle to a male, likely crueler than your parents.

And he had been. You had been married to a vile excuse for a fae, Marcus at the age of twenty. He beat you for every misstep you made, and in his view nearly everything you had done while together was one.

The food was never delicious enough, you weren’t beautiful enough for a male like him, you talk to other fae too often.

The final straw came when, five years into your arranged marriage, Marcus beat you half to death for not having given him an heir yet. That night, you vowed to yourself that the next day would be the last your husband drew breath.

You prepared him breakfast, even with the broken arm he had given you. Using the small packet of poisonous herbs you had bought when you were feeling brave a few months ago, you slipped some into the middle of his omelette.

And the rest was history.

You were free to live you life, though you had to put your minor healing powers to work to afford the basic necessities. But, you still had the home Marcus had owned, given that he had no living relatives, and it was enough for you.

You had lived your life for another hundred years, as peacefully as one could in the Court of Nightmares.

The first time you saw Azriel had been at a revel, one held for the High Lord’s birthday. Attendance had been mandatory, and as you rarely attended revels you dressed your very best, a black silk floor-length gown with a slit running all the way up your left leg and ending at the top of your thigh. It had thin straps to hold it on both shoulders, and you had never felt more beautiful. It was one of the few things you had saved up to buy, nearly working yourself ragged to do so, but it was worth it.

The way his eyes met your across the room once he entered was electric, and he had made your way over to you almost in an instant.

Your heels had made you four inches taller, but the moment you stood next to the Shadowsinger you felt as if you weren’t wearing them at all. His wings added extra height to him, and you felt so small in comparison. But he didn’t lean over you, attempting to use his height to intimidate you. Instead, he introduced himself.

“My name is Azriel. What is your name, please?”

“I know who you are, Shadowsinger.”

“If you know who I am, would it not be fair for me to know who you are?” Azriel countered. “I merely wish to know the name of my mate.”

Mate. The word struck through you, the bond snapping with such intensity you stumbled slightly in your heels. Azriel steadied you with a calm hand, and you internally scolded yourself.

One conversation and you’re acting like a fool.

“Y/N," you finally respond.

“Y/N,” Azriel said, testing your name out on his tongue. The sound sent instant butterflies into your stomach. “Would you care to join me somewhere more private?” You gave him a look of disdain, having hoped he would be different from the rest. “No no, nothing like that. I figure that the prying eyes and ears turned to hear our every word are something both of us would like to avoid.”

You thought about it for a moment. Truly, the male could have swept you away in an instant, whisking you away to Mother knows where. If he had ill intent, he most likely would have acted upon it already.

“I suppose another location could be nice,” you reply, holding a hand out for him to take. He took it in his, pressing a kiss to the back of it.

Your heart fluttered, tugging lightly on the bond accidentally.

He winnowed the two of you away, and reappeared in a sitting room a moment later.

“I know that this is a shock to you, honestly it’s a shock to me as well,” Azriel started. “I never- I have not once believed that I deserve to be blessed with a mate, but I know that if you choose to pursue the bond, I will take care of you for as long as you allow. Even if you choose to reject the bond, if you would like I will provide you with a home of your own, anywhere you would like in the Night Court.”

Choose to reject- “What?” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. A male- your mate- was offering to take care of you even if you reject the bond. That was… unheard of here.

“I want to take care of you, even if you have no part in my life. I would enjoy getting to know you if you are open to it, though.”

“I…” You hesitated. A mate was something out of your control. Already, you were acting on instinct instead of carefully planning each action. But… The Mother had judged you as equals, and if he was being truthful… “Make a bargain with me. Promise that you will allow me to leave you permanently and alive if I choose to.”

Azriel blinked at you twice before his face broke into a grin larger than you though possible for such a stoic male. “It’s a bargain, Y/N.”

A burning sensation sparked on your sternum, just below where your dress started. You pulled it back slightly, and saw a delicate moonflower wrapped in shadows. Pretty.

“Tell me about yourself?” Azriel asked lightly.

And you had.

The two of you had gone on a few dates before you even let him inside of your house, and another three months after that you let him stay the night for the first time.

You were slow to trust, even if Azriel had shown no signs of abusive behavior or anything similar. But over time he made his way into your heart, residing around the very middle of it. He was your world now, the one you would do anything for. Even if that made you weak, or soft, and he was the one person you allowed yourself to let your guard down around.

Over a year in, on your birthday, Azriel had spent the entire day with you, a rarity with his job and you occasionally being called away for healing duties. He had cooked you dinner while you watched, flitting around him and wanting to help, but Azriel wouldn’t let you.

The dinner had been wonderful, Azriel was truly gifted in the kitchen. After, Azriel had asked if you would live with him.

You said yes.

The two of you bought a house together in Velaris, a city that made the spark of hope that had ignited in your chest after meeting Azriel turn into a blazing fire. Here, the people were free. They could do whatever they wanted, be whoever they wanted, follow their dreams until the end.

Your dream, your wish that you kept so deeply buried inside of your heart, was to reclaim the softness that had been stolen from you, beaten from your bones.

Azriel had helped with that already, his love and affection melting away the hard exterior you had while in private with him. Five years after meeting, you had accepted the bond on his birthday with his favorite meal, and the frenzy that followed was absolute bliss.

This year was a bit different, Azriel’s sole mission on your birthday was to make your dream for yourself come true, twenty years into your mateship.

You were getting ready for bed, brushing your hair on the eve of your 145th birthday when Azriel called you into your shared bedroom.

“Yes, my love?” You asked as you entered, and then you saw it.

Azriel was holding a baby pink silk nightgown with lace along the hem and a bow on the middle of the collar, far cuter than anything you normally wore. And… you had seen it before. When you went shopping for a set of lingerie to surprise your mate, you had lingered in front of it, testing out the soft feeling of the fabric against your fingers, wishing you were brave enough to purchase something so cute, let alone wear it.

“I… How did you know?”

Redness spread onto Azriel’s cheeks as he confessed, “I might have had a few reports from my shadows about the things you seem to want, but do not buy for yourself. The one that sleeps on the back of your neck all day was particularly vocal about it. I wanted to surprise you, sweetheart, with a wonderful day tomorrow. But that starts tonight, with you wearing this to bed.” His smile was so sweet, your knees went weak. It was always so hard to resist him.

“What is tomorrow?”

“If you allow it, and place full trust in me, I have planned out a day for you to have to make no decisions, just following your instincts.” You wrinkled your nose, the idea of giving up all control was one you had rarely entertained in the dead of night, though it had always been to Azriel… “I know it sounds a bit daunting, but you know that I will never make you do anything that you do not want to, right?”

You nodded your head, that had always been the truth in your relationship. Everything was a mutual agreement, the both of you having issues with trust due to your childhoods.

“And we can drop at any time, and just have a nice day all to ourselves if you don’t enjoy it. All that I ask is that you give it a chance. Will you?”

Having that last piece of knowing it could end at any moment, that small bit of control to put your mind at ease.

“Yes,” you breathed, walking over to where he was standing, nightgown still in his hands.

“Thank you, babydoll. I promise, tomorrow will be wonderful. Now, let me undress you,” he said, setting the nightgown down on the bed and raising the hem of your shirt.

You let him, raising your arms to help. Next came your bra, gently undone with kisses placed on your neck as he did so. Then he unbuttoned your pants, shimmying them down your hips and tossing them away after you lifted your feet.

“Arms up, princess.” You blushed at the nickname, one reserved for tender moments in between the sheets, and did as he said. The nightgown slipped over your head, the fabric running down your body like water. The lace at the edges was soft, no hints of scratchiness to be found.

“You look beautiful, Y/N. So cute and sweet, and all for me,” Azriel whispered into your ear as he pulled you into a hug, your body softening against his after a few moments. A sigh slipped out of your lips, and Azriel kissed the crown of your head before pulling away slowly. “Did you need to do anything else before we go to bed?”

“No, I did everything already Az.”

“Let’s go to sleep then, lovely,” he said, and the two of you slipped beneath the sheets, your back to his chest and his arm wrapped tightly around your chest, one wing cocooning the two of you.

You fell into a peaceful sleep, the scent and feeling of your mate all you could ever think to wish for.

💙🤍💙🤍💙

The next morning you were awoken to soft kisses trailing down your neck, and the sensation of wet hair tickling you.

Az’s arm was still around you, and you wiggled in his hold, pressing your hips back against his.

“Now, now,” Az tutted, slight disapproval in his voice, and you stilled. “None of that right now, my sweet birthday princess. It’s time for your bath.”

“Mm I don’t want to get out of bed yet though, Az,” you whined. The sheets were far too comfortable, and the nightgown you were wearing was heaven against your skin, plus the hard press of your mate against your rear… no, you wanted to stay in bed.

“I promise the bath with be worth it, babydoll. Come on,” he said, getting out of the bed and taking you with him, carrying you into the bathroom and setting you on your feet.

The bath had already been drawn, a thick layer of bubbles covering the surface and a soothing lavender and chamomile scent wafting from it. Candles were set up along the edge, and a cup of coffee made just how you like was sitting on the counter.

You went to remove your new nightgown before Azriel’s hands stopped you.

“Let me do that, sweetheart.” He lifted the gown of your head and put it in the laundry basket. “Go ahead and get in, I’ll bring you your coffee.”

You did as he said, and the water was at the perfect temperature. Azriel handed you your coffee, and you took a large sip before looking at him.

“You aren’t going to join me?”

Azriel smiled and shook his head. “No, princess, this bath is all about you. I took one just before I woke you up. Drink your coffee, sweetness,” he said, tilting the cup toward your mouth again.

You do as he says again, even though your mind is fighting against it. He had asked that you try, so you would try as hard as you could to enjoy it.

And really, with your body warmed inside by coffee and outside by the luxurious bath Az had drawn for you, it wasn’t too hard to like it so far. Especially once Azriel started to wash your body with a soft cloth, taking is time to massage out any knots in your shoulders and arms. You always were tense with your healing work.

But all of that stress melted away with your mate’s gentle hands cleaning your skin.

When he finally pulled you out of the bath, he dried you off with a fluffy towel, pressing soft kisses all over you. You were feeling sleepy all over again, and just wanted to crawl back into bed with your mate.

“Alright, baby, we just need to get you dressed and then I’ll start breakfast.” Azriel went to the closet and pulled out a lavender wrap dress with short sleeves, another item that you had admired while shopping before. It was buttery soft as Azriel pulled it over your head, and it fell to right above your knees. You felt beautiful.

Azriel brought your slippers over to you, helping secure them on your feet.

“You look even better in this than I thought you would, sweetheart, though I don’t know how that’s possible.” You blush at his words, holding your arms out for a hug. He wrapped you in his arms, squeezing you tight against his chest. He’s so warm, and smells so good. His night chilled mist and cedar scent lulled you into a daze, your eyes glazed over when you met his after he pulled away from you slightly.

“Hello, gorgeous.”

“Hi,” you say back, your voice quiet.

“You doing good?” He asked as his hand caressed your face gently. You could only nod, so at peace and in the moment with your mate. A smile breaks across his face, and he tightened his arms around you once more before he disentangled himself from you.

“Come on babydoll, you can watch me make breakfast,” he said, leading you into the kitchen. He picked you up and set you on the island counter across from the stove.

He pulled out two wrapped packages, a carton of blueberries, and a bowl covered with a lid, then grabs three frying pans out of a cupboard.

"What's for breakfast?" You ask, resisting the urge to kick your feet as they hang in the air from your place on the island counter.

"Pancakes, sausages, bacon and some fruit, my love," Azriel replies, placing a kiss on your forehead when he turned to look at you.

"Do you need any help?" You ask out of habit.

While Azriel does take care of you as much as you allow, it has been hard kicking your old habits of always offering to help, any way to make your eventual suffering easier on you.

"No, sweetheart, I just need you to sit there and look adorable. Can you do that for me?" Azriel requests as he unwraps the sausages and puts them in a pan, then does the same with the bacon.

You sigh. Doing nothing? That's difficult. "I can try, Az."

"Good girl." Now that sent a thrill through you, and put a smile on your face. In the past couple of years you had noticed how much praise had begun effecting you, especially from the lips of your mate.

Azriel began making breakfast, pouring some of the batter he had made before waking you up into one of the pans. He places some blueberries onto it, being more careful with them than usual.

Az could feel your eyes on him, and turned to look at you. "Yes, love?"

"You're being careful with the blueberries," you state.

"Yes I am. I'm making smiley faces in the pancakes, sweetness."

You smile widened, the idea of it was so cute. "Smiley faces?"

"Mhm. I figured I would even make your breakfast cute, Y/N. After all, you're so cute you deserve to eat cute things too." His words sent blood to your cheeks, and your legs started kicking gently in the air.

Azriel returns to the stove, dutifully cooking until he hears you make to get off the counter. He whips around and holds your hips in place. "Where do you think you're going?"

"I... I wanted to help."

He kisses your lips, cheeks, then forehead. "You are too sweet, mate. I have everything under control, I promise. Just stay here and eat some blueberries, okay?" He hands the carton to you, and you pout slightly as you toss one in your mouth.

Azriel turns back to the stove, ready to get the food finished so he can pay more attention to you again.

In a few minutes, he's plated everything and brought it to the table, including a bowl of fruit from the fridge, before returning to you. He picked you up, carrying you over to the table as you giggle in his arms. Azriel gently sets you in your chair, then takes the seat next to you, scooting his chair over so that he's right next to you.

You go to pour some syrup on your pancakes- the smiley faces are pretty adorable- before a hand stops you, taking the bottle from your grasp. "Hey-"

"I told you, sweetheart, that you don't have to do anything today. That includes pouring your syrup and cutting your food." Az pours a generous amount on your pancakes, just the way you like them. He cuts a bite for you, and brings the fork to your mouth.

You look between the bite of food and Azriel, raising a brow.

"Open up, babygirl." His gentle tone coaxes you to give it a try, and you let him feed you the bit of pancake.

The blueberries are just the right amount of sweetness, the pancake itself thick and fluffy. Your eyes close for a moment as you chew, and when you open them Azriel has a soft smile on his face.

“Is it good?”

You nod your head. Azriel’s pancakes are one of your favorite foods he makes, always so delicious and fluffy.

“Good. Open wide,” he said as he brought another forkful to your mouth.

The pattern continued, Azriel taking bites off his own plate while you chewed yours. Before long you were full, turning your head away from the last bite of sausage Azriel was offering you.

“You full, babygirl?”

“Mhm, it was a lot of food, Azzie.” The nickname slipped out of your mouth without you even thinking, a sure sign you were relaxed and happy. “This is nice, so far,” you admitted.

Azriel’s face split into a grin, a rarity on his face, though it was becoming more and more common in your presence. “I knew you would like it, Y/N.” He kissed your forehead, then stood up from the table and offered you a hand. You take it and let him pull you into the bedroom. “Now, we are going to go shopping. But, with the weather, you need to wear a little more than you are now, cutie.”

He went to the dresser and pulled out a pair of white woolen tights, and turned back to you. “Sit down on the bed for me.” You do, and he goes to his knees in front of you. He takes off your slippers, then shimmies the tights up your legs until they’re all the way on your hips. “Perfect, sweetheart, you look so adorable in these. Do they feel warm enough to go out into the snow?”

“Yes, I think I will be warm enough. But I’m not sure I have a coat that will be good enough, though…”

Azriel chuckled. “I got one for you specifically for today, but I hope you will wear thicker coats more often. I hate to think of you walking in the cold in just a light jacket when I’m not here, sweetheart.” He pulled you up from the bed, leading you to the entryway closet that he opened, grabbing a puffy white coat that looked like it would go down to your mid-thigh.

You extended your arms without him prompting you, which made him smile again. He slipped the coat onto your arms, buttoning it up methodically. He then grabbed a pair of fluffy white snow boots which you slid your feet into, letting him lace them up for you. He pulled on his own coat, which he let you button up when you gave him a pouty look, then put on his own boots.

“Just a few more things, baby.” He wrapped a light pink knit scarf around your neck, making sure to cover as much skin as he could with it, leaving it loose in the front in case you felt like pulling it over the bottom of your face. Then he slipped matching mittens onto your hands, pressing a kiss to the top of each one beforehand. And the last was a matching hat with a pink puffball on the top. He fit it snuggly onto your head.

“You should wear a hat too, Azzie,” you point out. Especially if it was snowing, you didn’t want your mate to catch a cold. He merely smiled and shook his head at you, grabbing his own black hat and gloves from the closet.

“You worry about me so much, sweetie. I was always going to wear a hat, it’s been snowing since I woke up, after all.” He tapped your nose with his pointer finger, then leaned in for a kiss. It was so gentle and sweet, a perfect kiss if there ever was one. Then again, that was all of their kisses.

The two of you left your home, Azriel locking the door behind you. There was a thick layer of snow on the ground, most likely four of five inches deep.

Azriel grabbed your hand and began leading you down the street that would take the two of you to the Palace of Thread and Jewels.

The snow made the trek take longer than usual, but with your mate’s warm hand encasing yours, you didn’t mind at all. The two of you passed a few shops before you made it to your first destination, a bedding store that the two of you had come to in the past.

He brushed the snow off of your hat and shoulders, the pulled you into the shop.

“Now, sweetheart, I want you to remember to follow your instincts, pick out whatever you feel drawn to, okay?” You nodded your head; After all, the day so far had been amazingly comforting, the caring presence of your mate doing so much to relax you.

He let you wander around the shop, following closely behind you with his shadows swirling around your feet. You paused in front of a shelf of throw blankets, your eyes catching on a blush colored one.

Reaching a hand out, you went to brush your fingers on it before realizing they were still clad in mittens.

“Here, sweetness, let me take that for you,” Azriel said as he removed the mitten from your hand, leaving it free to brush against the blanket.

“It’s so soft,” you breathed. You turned your head over your shoulder to look at Azriel. “Can I get it?” Your voice was shy, still nervous about choosing cute things for yourself.

“Of course, princess. You can get anything you want, today and every day.” He picked the blanket up and held it in his arms. “Keep looking, there’s a lot more you haven’t seen yet.”

You followed his suggestion, walking further into the shop. Your eyes lock onto a sapphire blue pillow, fur all along the top side of it. Your ran your fingers through it- so silky smooth, you just needed to have it. “This too, please,” you whispered to Az, and he licked that up as well. The two of you looked through the rest of the shop, but nothing else caught your interest strongly enough to linger near it. Azriel gently led you with a hand on your back to the counter, placing both items on it.

“Did you find everything you needed?” The clerk asked as he wrote out the total on a receipt, crediting the purchase to your joint account.

“Yes we did, thank you,” Azriel replied, squeezing your hand in his.

“Were you needing a bag at all today?”

“No, thank you, we’ll be fine without one,” Azriel said, grabbing the pillow and blanket off the counter and leading you back to the entrance. Before you stepped outside, he handed the items off to his shadows, letting them carry the goods back to your home. He also pulled your mitten out of his pocket and slipped it back onto your hand.

You left the shop, heading further into the Palace. A few doors down, Azriel opened the door to a clothing store, ushering you inside.

Without prompting, you began to explore the store. This was one you had only looked into from the windows on the street, deeming the clothes, as lovely as they are, too feminine and cutesy for your daily life.

But once inside, you couldn’t help but pick out a decent number of outfits, taking them to into the dressing room to try on, Azriel waiting outside.

“Show me each one that you like, sweetie,” he requested, taking a seat in the chair meant specifically for this purpose.

You do, showing him a halter top and skirt set in a gorgeous blue that matched his siphons near perfectly. “This is perfect, love,” he praises you, pulling you by your hips to him. “It’s so sweet when you match me.”

You giggle softly, placing a kiss on his lips. “I definitely want this one.” You spin your hips, the skirt flaring out attractively from where it had rested at your mid-thigh. “It’s fun to move in,” you say, happiness in your voice.

“Good. Go try on some more, babygirl.”

A few outfits later, and you only found one other piece of clothing you wanted at the moment. It was a shade of pale pink with long, flowing sleeves that came down to the tops of your fingers. The hem reached yours knees, the skirt of the dress separated from the bodice by a matching ribbon at the waistline. The ribbon tied into a bow at the back, something that you would normally never wear out, let alone pick out to try on. But, Azriel had wanted you to try, and it was honestly easier than you had thought it would be to follow your instinctual taste.

You opened the curtain, and Azriel’s jaw dropped open- the only other time that had happened in public was your wedding and mateship ceremony.

“You look…” he paused, and your doubts started creeping in. “You look so, amazingly beautiful sweetheart, like a true angel brought to this earth to bless my life.” He stood up from his chair, scooping you into his arms and twirling you around, causing you to loose a giggle.

“I love this one, it’s so perfect. I feel like a princess,” you say after he sets you down, a wide smile on your face.

“I would have bought it anyways, just for the slightest chance you ever even thought of putting it on again.”

You change back into your clothes, letting Azriel redress you in your outerwear. He brings your two outfits to the front counter, once again handling the interaction for you as you leaned into his side. It was nice, not having to worry about any of the minutiae that went with shopping.

He pulls you out of the shop, a large bag in his hands which he keeps in his hand instead of sending off with his shadows. The two of you make your way over to the Rainbow slowly, enjoying the slow snowfall.

“In here, sweetheart,” Azriel says, guiding you into an art supply shop. “I have something specific in mind for you.”

“Oh? What is it Az?”

“Right here,” he says, extending a hand towards a set of ink pots, neatly packaged together in a wooden box with a glass lid.

“Inks?”

“Yes, I thought you could use something that’s easy, a bit mindless to do when you have free time. I asked Feyre what she thought about an ink set with a few books of drawings to fill in with color, and she thought it was the perfect idea for when you want to do something with your hands, but you don’t want to focus or think. It also comes with quills that are enchanted to return the ink to its pot when you hold it over the correct pot again, that way you won’t have a problem switching between colors… What do you think?”

You thought about it. While it did feel a bit… childish to color in pictures, the idea of having something simple to do when you’re tired but restless would be nice.

“That sounds nice, Az. Do they have books I can pick out here?”

“Yes, they do. They’re over in the back right corner, I’ll meet you over there in a second sweetheart.”

You wandered off into the direction he guided you, finding the selection of coloring books fairly quickly.

One instantly caught your eye, a collection of different creatures found in the Night Court, drawn in a cuter way than they appeared in person. You grabbed that one, and another of plants found in the solar courts.

Azriel came up behind you, placing a kiss on the top of your head, through your hat. You turn around to look at him and held the two books out for him to take, which he did.

“Did you want any others right now?”

“No, I think two will be enough for now. We can always come back again if I want more,” you said, and Azriel’s face softened before he kissed you.

“Alright, I’ll get this paid for and then we have one more stop before we’ll get some tea.”

In a few minutes, the two of you were leaving the shop, another bag in Azriel’s hands. The next shop he led you two was just two doors down from the art supply one, and it was a store you had considered going into every single time you had come to the Rainbow.

The windows were filled with various stuffed animals, plants, and fae. There was a whole half of a window dedicated to Illyrians, all fitted with differently colored siphons, though three you could tell were based off of your mate and his brothers.

That was one of the reasons you had always wanted to enter the shop, having a small miniature Azriel to keep you company while he’s away on long missions and the bond is quieted by the distance.

Azriel drags you inside, taking you over to the display holding the Illyrian plushies.

“Did you want one of me, babygirl?”

Color flushed your cheeks, and you bury your face in his chest before nodding.

“Did you want this small one? Or did you want a bigger one, one that’ll be enough to snuggle while I’m gone?”

“…Both?”

A chuckle vibrates through Azriel’s chest. “Both it is, baby. Go ahead and grab the small one, and look at the other options while I get the larger one ordered, okay?”

You grab the small miniature of your mate, then walk slowly towards the counter in the back of the store that Azriel was standing at. You pick up another plush, this one is your favorite flower, and join him at the counter.

“That will be ready in a week or so, Shadowsinger. We will send a note to your home, informing you when it is ready to be pick up. Ah, are these the other purchases?” The clerk asked, taking the plushies from your arms after you nod in confirmation. “Perfect, I will just grab you a bag, and you two are all set. Have a lovely rest of your day,” she says kindly, giving you a warm smile as she hands the bag to you.

Azriel guides you out of the store with a gentle hand on your lower back, and takes the bag from your hand once you’re back in the winter weather.

“How does tea sound to you, love?” Azriel asked, still leading you with that comforting hand.

“Something warm would be nice.”

He leads you to a tea shop that is decorated in soft pastels and smells heavenly, most likely because of the large case of baked goods that instantly drew your eyes. The two of you approach the counter, your eyes passing over every dessert in the case, lingering on a slice of strawberry cake and an adorable cookie, decorated with pink frosting and in the shape of a fox, it’s features drawn on in black frosting.

Azriel talks with the fae at the counter, but you aren’t listening, only looking between the slice of cake and the cookie, trying to decide between the two.

“Anything catching your eye, love?” Azriel asks softly into your ear, startling you from your thoughts.

“Oh, um…” you try to make a decision between the two, but your brain isn’t working fast enough.

“We can share a few, if you want more than one,” Az suggests gently, and when you point out the two items you want, he knows he found your dilemma.

“We’ll have a slice of strawberry cake and one of those pink fox cookies, please,” Azriel says, ordering for you and pressing a kiss to your head.

“But what about the tea-?”

“I already ordered some, love. Come on, let’s go take a seat.” Azriel pulls you to the side of store with a large fireplace, something you hadn’t even noticed when you walked in. He removes your coat, setting it on the back of a chair, then gently pushes you down onto it.

At this point, you feel like all you can do is follow his lead, so relaxed and in the moment that you don’t even want to make decisions.

Azriel sits in the seat next to yours, scooting as close as he can to you like he did with breakfast. He takes each mitten off of your hands, then removes your hat, smoothing out your hair after he sets it down.

Between the fire roaring in front of you and his wing covering your back, you were so warm and cozy you thought you might even be able to take a nap here.

“How are you doing, baby?” He asks lowly in your ear, wrapping an arm around you as well.

You rest your head on his shoulder and close your eyes, something you usually would never do in public. But Azriel is so warm, and smells so wonderful. And he’s here, keeping you safe. Even from prying eyes, with his massive wing blocking you from the windows leading to back to the streets of the Rainbow.

“Perfect,” you sigh, melting further into his shoulder.

The fae who took your order comes over with a tray, a teapot, two teacups, and two plates with the desserts you picked out on top of it. You keep your head where it is, too comfortable to move, even if it means showing that to someone you don’t know. She sets all of the items on the table, pouring out tea for the both of you. “Enjoy,” she says with a smile as she walks away.

The two of you sip your tea, a sweet floral blend that you can’t quite name, but you suppose that doesn’t matter too much. Azriel feeds you bites of cake and the cookie slowly, taking his own every now and then.

You nearly fall asleep on him once the desserts are finished, so content in this moment you don’t want to move.

“Alright, princess, let’s get home for a little bit before dinner.” You groan, pushing further into his shoulder. “We can snuggle when we get home, princess.” That gets you to move, the thought of being snuggled together under your new blanket on the couch at home. You turn to look at Azriel, who has a fond look on his face.

“What?”

“You’re so cute, love.” He kisses you, then stands up and grabs your coat off the back of your chair. Your face scrunches as you stand, not wanting to leave the warmth of the fireplace behind either, but you let Azriel redress you in your winter clothes, smiling when he kisses you again. He picks up your shopping bags, the guides you out of the tea room, thanking the fae before closing the door.

The two of you make your way back home slowly, the snow even thicker on the ground now that you had spent another hour indoors.

Near your home, along the Sidra, you spot an untouched patch of snow, and pause in your tracks.

“What is it, love?” Azriel asks you, stopping and looking at you, then glancing to where your eyes were locked on to. “Oh, did you want to make a snow Illyrian, princess?”

You bite your lip, then nod your head. Azriel merely secures your hat further down your head, and checks to make sure that your mittens are still covering your hands. “Go for it. By tomorrow, all of the snow will have been trampled, sweetheart.”

You hesitate for a moment, thinking about what other would think of you being so childish-

No. You were going with your instincts today. Besides, hardly anyone was out no about today, and there was no one on this side of the Sidra to stare at you. And Azriel was here, he would keep you safe. So you got down on the ground, repeatedly moving your arms and legs in their full range of motion.

You had always wanted to do this as a child, but even on the times you were let out of the mountain during the winter, you had been kept on a tight leash.

But now, with your mate? You were free to do whatever you wanted, as he had proved time and again throughout your relationship, and so many times today alone.

You stop once you feel you’ve made enough of an impression on the snow, and Azriel reaches a hand down to pull you up. You take it, then step back into what you believe to be the road and glance back at your creation.

It’s cute, though it looks nothing like Illyrian wings, but you suppose that doesn’t matter much.

“So cute Y/N. But let’s go now, I don’t want my sweet little mate to catch a cold.”

The two of you make your way back to your front door, and Azriel unlocks it before ushering you inside.

He strips you of your outerwear before taking his off, and you beeline for the couch in the living room, where your new blanket and pillow are already waiting for you.

“Before we snuggle, princess, you should change out of your dress,” Azriel suggests, and you groan in protest.

“But I want to snuggle right now,” you say impatiently.

“I know, love, but it will only take a moment to change you into something different sot that your dress doesn’t get too wrinkled before dinner.”

You sigh then follow him into the bedroom. He deposits the shopping bags onto the bed, pulling something out of the bag from the clothing store, one that you didn’t recognize.

It was a sleepwear set, a tank top with a bow resting in the middle of the neckline, a pair of shorts, and a set of knee high socks, all in a pale blue.

“When did you pick that out?”

“While you were trying on all of those clothes. I thought I would pick out some to give you as a surprise princess, after all, it is your birthday.”

You approach the bed and peek into the bag, and see that it is mostly full, pastel sets of underthings on every shade of the rainbow.

“Do you want to wear one of the sets now?”

You pull one out, a bralette and pair of panties in a pastel pink. “This one,” you say, presenting it to him.

He sets the clothes down on the bed, then strips you of the clothes you’re wearing. You let him redress you in the new clothes, loving how soft all of the fabrics are, Azriel having shopped for your comfort as well as a softer look than your usual attire.

“You look so adorable in those, baby,” Azriel says, his voice soft and sweet as he puts the socks on you, then your slippers.

“Thank you, Azzie. I really like these, they’re so cozy,” you say, running your hands along the tank top. “Can we cuddle now?”

“Yes, sweetheart. I do have a couple of reports I need to write first, it shouldn’t take more than an hour, but I’ll have you rest your head in my lap, if you would like.”

Your lip slides into a pout, you wanted to cuddle with him now.

“I know, sweetheart, but I’ll be quick about it, okay? And you can hug one of your new plushies while you wait for me to finish.”

“Fine…” you agree, fishing the plush that resembles Azriel out of the bag and clutch it to your chest while you follow Azriel back into the living room.

He sits down on the couch, patting his lap in invitation. You follow him, curling up on the couch and resting your head on his lap, sighing when he settles the soft, blush pink blanket over your body.

Papers rustle as Azriel’s shadows bring him what he needs to complete his work, but your eyes are already closed. One of Az’s hands begins to card through your hair slowly, and you let out a quiet purr at the sensation.

Within a few minutes, you had drifted off to Azriel’s soft touches, quiet breathing, and the gentle scratch of a quill on paper.

💙🤍💙🤍💙

You were woken by Azriel shifting beneath you, attempting to move to lay down underneath you without waking you. You open your eyes, turning your head to look at him.

“Hello, beautiful. I’m all done with my reports, now it’s time for us to snuggle together,” He says gently, moving your body so he’s now laying on his back, you pulled over him, your head resting on his chest. You kick your legs against the edge of the blanket, managing to get it over Azriel’s feet with a bit of work. You let out a deep breath once you have, sinking down into Azriel’s warm body.

You fall asleep again in a few minutes, now soothed by the sound of his heartbeat steadily thumping in your ear.

💙🤍💙🤍💙

Part 2

(tumblr's stupid 250 text block limit cut it off like a page and a half before it was done)

[lionofchaeronea]

A little something fun for anyone out there celebrating May Day/Beltane. Whether you are or not, I hope you have a good day today.

TEXT:

BELTANE

Comes the summer, comes the fire, Gaily fed and leaping higher--

Comes the ash, to keep at bay Cruel ghosts and crueler fae--

Comes the dancing in the dell, Bidding Mother Spring farewell--

Come the ribbons, merrily Wrapped around each bush and tree.

Welcome, days of warmest sun, Welcome, May-month just begun,

When the fields of golden grain Are made to grow by gentle rain,

When the cattle calmly graze According to their ancient ways--

Linger, summer, linger here, O most enchanted time of year.