#this manga is a riot when it wants to be

[aretheyqueer]

List of Canonically Trans/gnc Characters

My own list in this post is anime, manga, games mostly but in the spreadsheet you can add anything.

Following my tierlist of them, I realized I should make a public list so theyre not just kept in my head, since I spent quite a while finding these characters. If you want to watch/play anything with trans or gnc characters, you can use this list.

They range from good rep to bad, characters viewed as "traps" or not taken seriously to ones that the whole fandom understands is trans. I've added trigger warnings to the characters and fandoms I know can be triggering. I've also put certain names in bold to show that they're a main character, but i've only watched a few on this list so some are missing.

I would add trigger warnings for "bury your gays" and similar tropes, but I want to avoid spoilers. Maybe you can look it up first if you're worried. I've tried to exclude characters that are referred to as hermaphrodites.

The "crossdressers" section obviously includes some spoilers.

Enjoy :D

Transfem

Alice Arisuin from Chivalry of a Failed Knight (Prefers feminine name and terms but doesn't care too much).

Arachne from Angel Sanctuary

Arashi Narukami from Ensemble Stars

Astolfo from the Fate/Grand series

Leonardo Da Vinci from the Fate/Grand series (unsure)

Cassandra Igarashi from The Wicked + The Divine

Dahlia Carpenter from Carole & Tuesday

Victoria October from Batman

Elendira the Crimsonnail from Trigun Stampede

Giselle Gewelle from Bleach (The fandom is very transphobic)

Grell from Black Butler (Unnecessarily debated)

Hana from Tokyo Godfathers

Okasan from Tokyo Godfathers (Could be a drag queen)

Hibari Oozora from Stop!! Hibari-kun!

Isabella Yamamoto from Paradise Kiss

Kanamori from Heaven's Design Team

Kano Ienaga from Golden Kamuy

Kaoru Anesagi from IDOLiSH7

Kaoru Hanase from Tamako Market (Speculated to be a trans woman)

Kenji Hikiishi from My Hero Academia

Kikinojo from One Piece

Mariandale/Marian from Ixion Saga DT

Mizuki Akiyama from Project Sekai (Heavily implied)

Momoko from Shangri-La

Kikyou Motoki from Itazura Na Kiss

Nao from Skip and Loafer

Nathan Seymour from Tiger & Bunny

Perfuma from She-Ra and the Princesses of power

Petrichor from Saga

Ruka Urushibara from Steins;Gate (Transphobic fandom)

Saber from the Fate/Grand series

Stephanie from Majutsushi Orphen

Ushiyama from All Worlds Alliance

Hiroyuki Yoshida from Wandering Son

Shuuichi Nitori from Wandering Son

Yuujirou Shiratori from The Highschool Life of a Fudanshi

Transmasc

Hachiro from Gintama

Kite from Japan Sinks: 2020

Kusuo Saiki from The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. (Turned himself into a boy when he was in the womb, otherwise never mentioned)

Ryo Watari from Boys Run the Riot

Shou Fujita from Stars Align (Very minor character)

Tooru Mutsuki from Tokyo Ghoul:re

Yamato from One Piece

Yawara Chatora from My Hero Academia

Yoshino Takatsuki from Wandering Son

Nonbinary

Anne Faulkner from Paradox Live

Asra from The Arcana

Alucard from Hellsing Ultimate (genderfluid)

Chaos from Hades

Berg Katze from Gatchaman Crowds (androgynous)

O. D. from Gatchaman Crowds

Daishikyou from Gintama

Chevalier D'Eon from Fate/Grand series

Enkidu/Lancer from Fate/Grand series (Inherently no gender/sex)

Double Trouble from She-Ra and the Princesses of power

Envy from Fullmetal Alchemist (can transform into any gender)

Francois from Dr. Stone

Halara Nightmare from Master Detective Archives: Rain Code

Hange from Attack on titan (Fandom mostly refers to them as female)

Ivankov Emporio from One Piece (i'm not sure what they identify as)

Juniper from Xenoblade Chronicles

Kaoruko Someya from Okane ga Nai (Okama)

Kimera from Kimera (nb or transfem)

Kyuubei Yagyuu (Born female, raised male so has an unconventional relationship with gender)

Vanitas of the Blue Moon from The Case Study of Vanitas

Milo Belladonna from Monster Prom

Mogumo from Love Me For Who I Am

Najimi Osana from Komi can't communicate (Unknown gender)

Nakuru Akizuki from Cardcaptor Sakura (Sexless, identifies as female)

Nico from Tokyo Ghoul (Okama)

Opera from Marimashita! Iruma-kun

Orochimaru from Naruto

Ryuuji Ayukawa from Blue Period (Unsure, can be gnc/transfem/nonbinary)

Satan from Devilman

Shion Zaiden from RWBY

Someone (yes thats their name) from Shimanami Tasogare

Xanthe Zhou from Prime Earth

Yuuta Asuka from Stars Align

Intersex

Asuka Ran from Devilman Lady

Luca Esposito from Asra Lost in Space (identifies as male)

Desmond from Carole & Tuesday (Became intersex due to universe stuff but is at peace with this)

Megumi Yoshikawa from Princess Princess (Raised male before she found out she was genetically female, decides to live as a girl)

Richard III from Requiem of the Rose King (Struggles with his intersexuality, feels his body and him are unloveable)

Yoite from Nabari no Ou (Lives as male but they're unsure of their gender)

Crossdressers

Aki from Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi

Azumi Agonoske from Gintama

Buzam A. Calessa from Vandread

Ferris from Re:Zero (I've heard that the novel version is transfem)

Haruhi Fujioka from Ouran high school host club (Nonbinary coded)

Ranka/Ryouji Fujioka from Ouran high school host club (Drag queen)

Hatsuka Suzushiro from Call of the Night

Hazumu Osaragi from Kashimashi: Girl Meets Girl

Kurako from Kuragehime

Naoto Shirogane from Persona 4 (The reveal can be triggering)

Chihiro Fujisaki from Danganronpa (The reveal can be very triggering - I recommend looking it up first if you're worried.)

Nuriko from Fushigi Yuugi (Unsure)

Rui Ninomiya from Gatchaman (May be transfem)

Cis characters that are gnc

Haruka Tenou from Sailor Moon

Kaoru Orihara from Oniisama e... (not sure what gender)

Kashima Yuu from Monthly Girl's Nozaki-kun

Complicated

Angela from Black Butler (Changes form)

Berg Katse from Gatchaman (Changes form)

Fushi from To Your Eternity (Can change into female but presents masc)

Ginshu from Amatsuki (Raised male, turned genderless, dressed feminine. Idk their gender identity)

Inazuma from One Piece (Can present as both male and female, okama)

Izana Shinatose from Knights of Sidonia (Genderless to female due to universe rules)

Kou Seiya from Sailor Moon: Sailor Stars (Has a male and female form, I think)

Mahiro Oyama from Onimai: I'm Now Your Sister! (Was turned into a girl against his will)

Mermaid Sisters from Carole & Tuesday (I don't know, man...)

Natsuru Senou from Kämpfer (Transformed into a woman)

Shi Qingxuan from Heaven Officials Blessing (Can transform)

Ranma Saotome from Ranma (Changes between them)

Hinata Tachibana from Life with an Ordinary Guy who Reincarnated into a Total Fantasy Knockout (Gets transformed into a girl, goes on a quest to get their original body back)

--------

If you see anyone missing, feel free to let me know if I should add them. Input on who is a main character, triggering themes and offensive characters can be commented or sent to me.

[red-hibiscus]

This will forever be one of my favorite panels from a manga ever. It's been my phone wallpaper for at least a year.

When I first read it, it hit me so hard cause I knew EXACTLY the emotions being depicted here. Emotions people who don't experience gender dysphoria ever will. And I've never and still have never seen a manga or anime show them so directly like this.

I remember that before I had top surgery I was in so much mental pain from my chest I wanted rip my chest off. I wanted to rip apart my skin because I felt that my true body was hiding underneath. I wasn't meant to be living in a body that looked the way it did.

That emotion right there perfectly encapsulates the pain I felt. He's clawing himself out of his outer skin and being emerging as the true self that was always there lying in wait.

Manga: boys run the riot

[marveling-cg]

Okay, I just turned on MHA like six weeks ago, and just finished the manga yesterday. And while I have.....thoughts -.- about that ending, I also can't help think about:

Deku's Accidental Charm Offensive & Unintentional Rehabilitation of Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight's Image

Like:

On one of Deku's first patrols with Dynamight, they wrap up a villain with no injuries, no collateral, no casualties, and Dynamight lets rip his signature shout: "FLAWLESS VICTORY!"

The PR folks at his agency (and the internet) have told him that it's off-putting and unnerving

But Deku breaks out laughing behind him, Bakugo turns for the fist bump, aggressive, still pumped up from the adrenaline

Deku returns it automatically, smile bright, cheeks flushed, eyes nearly shut

The internet thinks it's adorable

And when:

They've responded to a request to back up heroes in an adjacent zone

Bakugo's been picking up more requests for backup now that Deku's in the field -- he knows the nerd gets a kick out of working in teams, and sometimes they run into their classmates, it makes Deku smile, whatever

There's a group of villains working in a team, and the biggest of them has a quirk it takes the the BakuBros way too long to figure out, but Deku, Chargebolt, and Red Riot manage to clear the extras from the field long enough for Bakugo to finally put the big bad down

It was a messy and exhausting fight, Bakugo's barely staying on his feet in the aftermath, but then he hears a shout from a nearby roof -- Deku:

"Great Explosion Murder God --"

"DYNAMIGHT" Kaminari and Kirishima join Deku's dumbass shout, and Bakugo is tossed up on the idiot's shoulders like an American frat boy.

They're so embarrassing.

The nearby newscaster filming from the police line laughs with the rest of the nearby civilians, says something about the atmosphere of joy as the villains have finally been subdued

But especially that time:

Some overexcitable brat almost got themselves killed on Deku and Bakugo's watch

There'd been some two-bit criminal, hardly enough of a threat to be called a villain, but Endeavor'd taught them to respond quickly, and they'd never been able to kick the muscle memory

The kid, no more than 8 or 9 had seen them passing by from her window and climbed out onto her fire escape, climbing up on the rails to try and record the interaction

Thank fuck the sensors on Deku's suit had picked up the anomaly of her sudden descent

Though they'd both rushed into action, Bakugo made the save snatching the kid from the air before she'd injured herself

When he got them both on solid ground, he'd been ready to light into her -- "Listen here, you --"

But Deku had been there, hand firm on Bakugo's elbow, "Kacchan, no!" Before hip-checking Bakugo out of the way and crouching down to get at eye level with the girl

"Hey, what my buddy, Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight" (Deku always says it like Bakugo had dreamed it, like it's the name of someone trustworthy) "is trying to say is that your safety is way more important than a picture or video of us. Right?"

Here Deku had turned to look up at Bakugo. His midnight green eyes stern and expectant. Reminding Bakugo:

He'd made a promise to himself. If Deku gave becoming a hero a chance -- not just doing test work with the suit, not just moonlighting between class and grading papers, but really gave partnering with Bakugo his best effort -- Bakugo wouldn't let himself do anything to get in the way of Deku becoming the #1 hero. Anything.

"Yeah kid, it's not a flawless victory if you get hurt."

Deku beamed at him as if Bakugo just plucked the moon from the sky and personally gifted to him. Bakugo's cheeks had burned. But it didn't matter (he'd thought it wouldn't matter -- smartphones are the worst) Deku had already turned back to the girl.

"And if you want to come chat with us, we'll be at the Fall Festival at _____ Park around the corner in just a couple weeks! We'll be at the ______ Agency booth!"

Business kids had gotten the bright idea that heroes ought to be more accessible, feel more a part of the communities they helped protect.

A week later, Ashido sent a tweet to the Forever 1A group chat. A video of he and Deku with the kid. The caption: "Turns out Great Explosion Murder God just needed an anger interpreter."

The first comment under the tweet: "Anger interpreter? Do you mean husband?? Look at the blush!"

Bakugo is going to kill them!

But like, after 3 months of he and Deku partnering, they're neck and neck with Todoroki - the Big 3 back in competition.

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

Shinichiro, stay away from the kids!

(with love)

Okay, first of all, this is not a hating Shinichiro post. I swear it. This is just me having brain riot and thinking in how many times Shin was a questionable example for kids and teens around him and how we seem to forget about it but it's kinda hilarious when you put all of them together (except for Sanzu, that is never funny, my poor lil gremlin 😭)

I know most of this things were because he was also too young, oblivious and reckless. I know that, but it's funny to bully him with affection anyway 🙈

(and in the more serious ones, he was too dissociated and too out of everything, I know that too)

So... Here I go, random Shinichiro moments for all of you!

(big manga spoilers because it's Shinichiro)

Leaving Inupi to look out the shop.

Inupi, who looks like a cute potato here and it's deffinetly too young for it. Canon unpayed intern Inupi, yuhuuu! 💜

Him smoking around bikes all the damn time.

In his shop where Inupi was and could blow out the whole block. But also in his garage, where Draken and Mikey used to watch him fix the bikes. Shin, don't, that's dangerous! (I would say "if you wanna kill yourself do it but don't drag others with you", buuuuuut... Yeah, he did it and everyone got drag on that, so why bother to say it? 😑)

Wharever the fuck this was.

Probably just a prank, but.. Really, Shin? You ran away and left Izana there? I know, I know, you're a dumb teen, but c'mon, think for once! The whole interaction makes me laugh and want to smack Shinichiro in general, to be honest.

Oh...I think the not-so-funny ones are about to start. Here we go!

Leaving the Black Dragons to the traumatized orphan that just went out of juvie.

Yeah, that looks like a great idea, I'm sure nothing wrong will come out of this, lalalalalalala! (Shinichiro and his relationship with delinquency and his siblings should be a lot more explored because holy shit)

(Btw, not even pointing the helmets stuff, nops)

Bringing 8 y/o Mikey to gang meetings.

Like... What the fuck? I'm with Takeomi on this one, are you stupid Shinichiro? What are you thinking? Are you thinking? 😒

Love how BenWaka bully him for it too, that's why I left it here, ngl.

Isn't that just how Haruchiyo is, slashing people for Mikey?

Well, yeah, he is, but he wasn't! He shouldn't! Can't you not pretend this is not concerning for a second? Or... Not settle this mindset on Sanzu because it's gonna have big consequences? 🤦🏻

Talking about his inminent suicide with a 13 y/o.

Okay, I thought A LOT about putting this one, because obviously I'm not judging Shin at all, he was in a really dark place and when you're about to kill yourself you can't think clearly. It's just that this exchange... Breaks me. And Haruchiyo is just a kid, this is so not fair for him either 😭

(Sanos, start treating the Akashis like people with feelings that also matter for once, please)

You can still be his friend even if he scarred you for life!

Okay, Shin, I know you're a mix of biased and dissociated but... Really? Please, stop creating Sanzu, stop iiiiit! Let Haruchiyo alone, don't do this! Also... "Right now"? So you're saying he should forgive Mikey but not right now? Is that, Shincihiro? 😒

Trauma dumping to 13 y/o Haruchiyo. Shhh, keep the secret, bye!

Did I say Shinichiro created Sanzu? Yes? I'll say it again, I don't care. Again, I know he was dissociating and all, but, but... It's fine to kill people for Mikey mindset is now installed successfully on Haruchiyo's brain, yuhuuu! 😭

The amount of total disregard for Haruchiyo's mental health here is too much and should be a crime. The "keep the secret" part don't make it better. Specially, specially, when Shinichiro himself is not going to keep it, he's about to say everything to Wakasa. But Haru? Shhh, you should keep the secret, I'm sure this is not a huge burden for a teenager that suddenly have two set of memories!

(Well, not everything, he probably forgot to tell Waka about Haruchiyo remembering it, because in the final battle it didn't look like Sanzu ever talked about it with Wakasa and I wanna think they would if he knew... Look, another Sano forgetting about Sanzu, yuhu! 😑)

(Shin, with all my love, but I hate you for this one even if you gave me the best blorbo to torture on my fics that I ever had)

I'm sure you'll be able to handle it, random kid that I don't even know the name! 👀

YOU HAVE TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME WITH THIS ONE SHINICHIRO! I wish you remembered in the final timeline because you own Takemitchy the biggest freaking apology of all your life! What the hell? Go, apologize with Michi now!

Yes, he was able to handle it and to be traumatized infinite times in the way, but that's not the point! Use you brain for once Shin, why are you giving the burden to a kid? Why? What is wrong with you? (so many things actually xD)

But, for real, this sentence is Wakui being hilarious because c'mon, poor Takemichi!

Edit: I didn't put the poorly way Shinichiro handled everything about Izana and Mikey because I consider canon doesn't give us enough info on that. Same with Emma. What happened? Why Izana never met them? I have my hc, of course, but we don't know for sure. So... I can't ramble about how badly he managed that! (Badly, for sure, I just don't know exactly how and how much)

[le-panda-chocovore]

I think the reason for all that discourse in the JJK fandom is that we had some expectations about what this story would be about, and we were wrong. I'd say it was our fault for having them, because Gege had his own story in mind and it isn't our role to tell him what to write/draw. But I'd also say that we were misled into having those expectations and then being deceived, because shock value is fun.

(I'm not in the AOT fandom so maybe I'm 100% wrong, in which case don't pay attention to me. I'm just rambling I'm not trying to make a point)

See there's not such a thing in Attack On Titans. I mean I know people are arguing whether a decision was good or bad or a character development was positive or negative, but no one is rioting the way JJK readers are even when someone dies, kills, or does worse (they do start a genocide lol). Because in AOT you know since the beginning what this story is about : surviving, war, and liberty. With time you learn that it's also about racism, destiny and injustice. But the story starts with death and blood and it never calms down, characters keep dying or getting hurt and no one's safe all along the story. So you just know it'd end the same way, you know what to expect, that power of friendship won't save anyone here.

But Jujutsu Kaisen is different, because it has all the codes of a basic Shonen. Everyone was comparing it to Naruto during the 1st season so you would believe it'd follow the same path. Of course there's fights and fails and suffering and death, because it's necessary for the growth of the protagonist. He'd learn he's not strong enough and he'd try harder and mature more and be better. Jujutsu Kaisen makes you think it's your One Piece-type manga where 1 person dies every 4 arcs and the main team survives everything, even when it looks impossible.

And then Shibuya happens and you're shocked because it's way to early to kill so many valuable characters in a row. Usually that kind of massacre happens during Big War arcs like in MHA. At first you think it's an interesting writing choice because it changes from other mangas, and you wonder how the main character will evolve from that. But then the training arc never happens, because shit keeps falling on them and there's a pile of deads and you start to wonder when it'd stop. Spoilers : it doesn't.

So at some point you realize it. This isn't a classical shonen. This isn't an happy-ending after a hard fight kind of story. There's no power of friendship to save them, there's no important moral path to keep following no matter what (like "I won't do to you what you did to me because it'd mean that I'm the same" no it doesn't work here), and there's not even a chance to run away from that cursed role no one wants to bear. There's no one protecting the kids anymore. The MC isn't strong enough and the mentors are dead and close friends are off-fight and the one person able to end this has to make the horrendous choice to give up his humanity.

In AOT, you were shocked, but it felt logical in the sense of where the story was leading you from the beginning. In JJK, you feel betrayed and manipulated because everything made you think about those other mangas where people ended up fine, but it was just a cover.

Honestly you COULD have guessed it'd end that way. Many people did. You just ignored it.

You thought Junpei's death was an exception, the Major Point for Yuuji's development, the Shock Value Kill to put some depth nuance in the story. But in reality it was a warning, a taste of the future. There WERE signs after all, and Gege never pretended to write another Naruto. You were so used to the classical shonen that you read the signs and fell for the trick.

JJK has never been a nice story from the beginning, Sukuna was at the center of every event since the beginning. You can dislike what is happening but you cannot say it's bad, as in a scenaristic choice. Gege is a writing genius and unfortunately he's also pure evil.

You shouldn't have trusted a one-eyed cat after all.

[dreams-of-beloveds]

HORIKOSHI WHEN I CATCH YOU HORIKOSHI

why in the fuck were we left on cliffhanger for the end of season 7. i’m so- i don’t even know how to feel right now, because i wasn’t even expecting us to be left on cliffhanger, and THE NEXT SEASON DOESNT EVEN COME UNTIL AUTUMN R U KIDDING ME how am i supposed to cope?!?? sure i still have the ova’s and the films left to watch bUT STILL MAN I FEEL SO EMPTY RIGHT NOW DAMMIT

god i have so much to say about season 7—not only was watching the todoroki family the most devastating thing ive ever witnessed—their family history is so intricately tangled and i really wonder if touya is still alive (i haven’t read the manga, i hope he is, and i don’t wanna read it online dammit) i want to see them come to a proper closure so bad i need them to be okay with each other even if endeavor isn’t forgiven (which is honestly valid) i want this family-against-touya-to-protect-everyone-else situation to bring them together in some way dammit!

and then we had the togachako moment. oh lord. oh lord i love them, they’re so—yeah sure i see them as a queer ship, but god fucking dammit after hikimo finally came to accepting her smile and her way of showing love being “normal” because of ochaco’s words and coming to the conclusion that all she ever needed was to “give blood like how she wanted to have someone else’s” HIMIKO BETTER NOT BE DEAD DAMMIT DONT TELL ME THAT CONFESSION MIDAIR AND THE SHARING HIMIKO’S BLOOD TO KEEP OCHACO ALIVE WAS ALL FOR NOTHING

oh god and fucking hawks. oh jesus. i wasn’t expecting his quirk to be taken completely. i honestly have no idea what his ending holds, but god dammit i hope he’s alive, i know his worst fear was getting his quirk taken when that’s what made him “the best” in the first place because he was literally groomed to become a hero due to his quirk despite growing up around villains, i can’t imagine how he’d be feeling—but fuck, fuck the burden he must’ve carried for having to kill bubaigawara even though he didn’t want to, he just found a genuine friend when working undercover and yet, he almost had to face the wrath of the sad man’s death legion through himiko oh man i couldn’t stand seeing him just,, fall, after everything

all might, oh, all might. this man is in his 50s and yet still can’t let his work go can he? this damn workaholic. but seeing him with his support items all including his students quirks 🥹💔 this man adores his students so much, if he doesn’t fucking stay alive after defeating afo i’m gonna fucking riot, RIOT I TELL YOU i sure fucking hope this isn’t the ending nighteye had foreseen about all might’s death because i swear to god, hell i fucking know nighteye would’ve been so mad seeing all might go into that war against afo quirkless with only support items he would’ve been MAD AND YK WHAT SO AM I BITCH SO HE BETTER COME OUTTA THIS ALIVE

and hell we don’t even know what the situation with aizawa, present mic and kurogiri is??? WHAT HAPPENS I NEED TO KNOW I NEED THEM ALIVE i don’t fucking know if shirakumo ever comes back, he was dead to begin with, i don’t think he’s gonna but damn can aizawa and hizashi get the closure they deserve? thats all i want for them, for them to be able to work alongside shirakumo’s “soul” one last time and have some form of closure dammit

and well, i left bakugo katsuki at the end of this fucking rant because i need him alive. i remember seeing so many damn parallels of kudo—and how his expression in afo’s hands looked so defeated, as if he was ready to die for yoichi, meanwhile katsuki, fucking bakugo katsuki, he’s not ready to die, yes he fucking moved through that pain to blast one last move in shigaraki’s face knowing there was a possibility of not making it but GOD DAMMIT I DOUBT HE WANTS TO LEAVE IZUKU BEHIND NOT YET and him fucking talking to all might’s vestige. god i genuinely was bawling so much. the voice, the expression, god just looked so, so vulnerably soft which he’s never let himself before, except for when he apologises to izuku to bring him back to UA. but god fuck, how- what- HOW DO I COPE Y’ALL HELP ME SOMEONE TALK TO ME IM LOSING MY FUCKING MIND

there’s so much fucking more i could yap about right now but it’s 1:15 am, my hands are hurting, my eyes are burning from crying so much after it ended, and my brain is dead. i can’t do this man

P.S. as someone who holds too much emotional intelligence and is studying psych, you can never make me hate any villain because i will always understand their pain too well, even if i don’t justify certain actions

[pernesophe]

Shuji Hanma x "Killer" Girl Next Door

Synopsis: you are the girl next door that Shuji has always had a soft spot for. After Shuji joins Toman, you are kidnapped by an opposing team with the intention of being used against Shuji. This one was kind of rushed but I gotta get it out of my drafts already. (I have no rights to the characters, art, screenshots / manga panels used in this post)

Master List

{TW: violence, angst, past family death mentioned for reader, minor unnamed character death, mentions of blood, fluff-ish at the end}

Shuji Hanma has been the boy next door as long as you can remember, and though he’s grown and changed over the years - he’s always had a soft spot for you. He’s always been there for you - through elementary school and your parent’s divorce, through those terrible middle school years, and especially that summer that your brother was falsely accused of murder and sent to prison for it.

When you got the news that your brother was killed during a riot, Shuji basically slept on your bedroom floor for two straight weeks. He made sure you ate and drank water, forced you to shower, and would drag you outside to just stand in the sun and fresh air - even though you stayed mute the whole time.

The day you found out that your brother was proven innocent, you had never felt such rage in your life. Shuji found you laying on your bedroom floor, gripping your pillow with a raw throat from how long you had been screaming into it. Wordlessly, he picked you up and put you on the back of his bike before driving you across the city to an abandoned warehouse. It looked like it had been freshly cleared out - some cigarette butts still smoking on the ground. There were bats everywhere and just junk scattered about. Shuji made you keep the helmet on and placed a pair of safety glasses on your face before handing you a bat.

“Have at it,” he said as he gestured to the large pieces of scrap metal, panes of glass - all the breakable things you could think of. So you did. You went to town on everything in that warehouse, and Shuji let you without a trace of judgment in his eyes.

Once you were good and finished - just a girl again - curled up in the fetal position on the warehouse floor racked with sobs, Shuji came and sat with you. Absolutely silent as he laid a hand on your shoulder and let you cry everything out. Afterwards, he bundled you up in his coat and drove you home, then he cleaned you up, fed you and put you to bed. 

It didn’t end on that day - this special care he was giving you - he was attentive until you were really through the worst of your grieving. Until you were really okay. That’s when he went back to sleeping in his own room and back to his own life a little bit more, but even so you could always feel his protective amber eye on you. And really, he was never that far - you two saw and talked to each other every morning before heading to your separate schools, just the same as you did each evening when you two returned to your separate homes.

Usually, your conversations pertained to your life - how school and friend’s were, and if you still wanted to be a lawyer after what happened with your brother. When the conversation drifted to him it was usually vague updates - nothing concrete. Regardless of where your lives were though, the two of you always wished each other well at the end of each day.

So, you really didn’t see it coming when you stepped outside to water your plants one night, and you were struck from behind. Knocking you unconscious. Even less were you expecting to wake up in some stuffy room with a hood over your head, and the sounds of young men whispering closeby. Something about, “Okay, when Hanma comes in, make sure to pull her hood off as you slit her throat - you don’t want him to have any chance of rescuing her.” A cold sweat breaks out over your skin as you hear a door open, footsteps retreating, and then a door closing. Leaving you alone with the sound of your breathing mingled with the sound of someone else’s breath and the shuffling of two feet.

Bang! The sound of a metal door busting open underneath your feet and then shouting and clanging filtering through the door in front of you. Twisting your feet subtly, you find that your ankles aren’t tied to the chair - only your wrists. You have no idea what direction your captor is facing, but you know you need to get out of your binding well before Shuji makes it up to this room. The sound of a faucet turning on behind you gives you the idea that he’s finally facing away from you, so as silently as possible you start twisting your hands back and forth until the amateur tied bindings loosen enough for you to slip out. Swiftly, you remove the hood from your head and turn to see the man still facing the faucet located in the small bathroom at the back of the room. Slowly rising to your feet, you try to sneak towards the door, but your shoe scuffs some paper across the wood floor - alerting the man at the sink. 

Whirling around, he faces you with a hunting knife in one hand as he advances on you menacingly. Abandoning any hope of a stealthy escape, you face your captor and prepare for the fight of your life.

*************************************************

Shuji is having the absolute time of his life as he punches another opposing gang member, before spinning on his foot and kicking another clear across the room. Kisaki, Chifuyu and Takemitchy are fighting around him - occasionally throwing someone in his direction so he can kick them away completely. Suddenly, Draken turns to them from the thick of the fighting to shout.

“Head on up and make sure it’s clear!” Before he turns back to the three opponents he’s facing off with. Without a moment’s hesitation, the four of them begin clearing a path and making their way up to what looks like the office door of this abandoned warehouse.

*************************************************

The man lunges forward with every bit of strength in his legs, clearing the entire room and grabbing you by the upper arm. Twisting and squirming back and forth as you dig your nails into his hand and use your hand of the arm he’s holding to hold the knife back by his wrist. The two of you are thoroughly grappled until you lean forward and sink your teeth into his hand forcing him to let your arm go. Growing desperate with the thundering footsteps approaching the door, he changes strategy to holding the knife with both hands and wildly swinging at you. 

Dodging the first few swings as you trip and sway around the tiny room - trying not to slip on the papers scattered across the floor - you are finally able to grab one of his wrists in both hands as you swing your lower half and torso out of the way. As you do, he slips on a piece of paper sliding on top of another and falls flat on his face. For a moment you’re stunned and start to back away, but he suddenly grabs your ankle and yanks you onto your back and climbs on top of you with the knife raised - ready to plunge it into your neck.

The moment he begins driving the knife down, you hit the side of the blade so the handle bursts from his grip as you grab the handle in your other hand - letting his full weight fall onto the blade. A horrible gurgling sound fills your ears as you feel something wet and warm dribble onto your collarbone. 

Placing a hand on his shoulder and a knee in his pelvis on the same side, you heave him off of you with all your might until he’s flat on his back. As he falls, with the handle of the blade still tightly clutched in your fist, you feel the now hot metal slide out of his chest. Falling back onto your folded legs - knife still in hand - all you can do is stare at the now lifeless face that you just met a few moments ago. His eyes were still his, but something in them - maybe the utter lack of focus - was the first sign he was gone. The next was that his chest was completely and totally still. You’re so absorbed in the body before you, that you don’t even hear the door swing wide open to your right as several people enter the room, laughing loudly.

*************************************************

When Draken shouted at them to go clear the room upstairs - even as Shuji giddily climbed the stairs anticipating another fight - the last person he expected to see was you. The day you two met, he had told you that you were nauseatingly pink. He didn’t appreciate it at first. The world around him had always seemed so colorless - joyless in fact - so when he only saw pink around you, he was honestly disappointed. When the feeling you brought was just this fuzziness, he kind of thought, “is that it?” 

But the more he got to know you - really see you - he realized that pink has so many shades. Some so light they almost look pearlescent, and some so deep they almost look like amaranth flowers. What he loved most is that pink mixes so beautifully with so many colors. His favorite was always peach - it was this mix of pink and yellow that made him feel warm, fuzzy, and happy.

Overtime, he truly began to appreciate all the bright colors you painted his life with and all the new feelings they brought, but one thing he promised himself is that he would never stain your life with his. It would be far too easy to drown out all those bright, light hues with the black and red tones that fill his world. 

And yet, here you are, sitting just above his world with crimson splashed up to your elbows - a bloodied knife in your hands - its pitch black handle poking out between your fingers. You haven’t even turned towards him yet - you’re just stuck there staring at the body in absolute horror. For a moment Shuji is reminded of that old adage: Man plans, and God laughs.

The grin disappears instantly from his face - the others are frozen in confusion - but he strides right up to you and crouches in front of you, but you still haven't met his gaze - eyes trained on the dead guy's face. Having no idea who you are, or that Shuji knows you, the others are concerned he’s going to hurt you as they exchange anxious glances. Chifuyu and Takemitchy are tense as hell as they move forward in preparation to intervene.

“Y/N.” Shuji says firmly and your eyes snap up to his as the others look between each other again - silently asking one another why he knows you. Immediately you drop the knife as your hands start to tremble and you swallow hard - attempting to speak. “Why are you here?” Demanding firmly, but there’s a seriousness in Shuji’s tone that the others have never heard him use before. Concern, maybe?

“I-I was ta-taken from my bac-backyard,” stuttering out in a whisper as you will your hands to stop shaking, but your lips still won’t stop quivering.

“Who?” The word is drenched in territorial rage that makes the other’s - even Kisaki - flinch away. Shuji’s typical jovial demeanor that softened his stature had vanished, so even though he was crouched low to the ground - his entire presence had turned large and menacing.

“I didn’t see their faces - just his,” lips barely moving as you utter the words while staring down at the body again. Without looking back at Shuji you whisper in shock, “Shu-Shuji… I-I killed him…”

Shuji doesn’t bat an eye as he pulls off his coat and puts it around you before dragging you to your feet - protests form on your tongue but he shoots you a look that makes you pause immediately. Only your arms and hands are bloody, except for some that dripped on your collarbone and stained your shirt, so he drags you to the sink in the back bathroom and starts washing your hands and arms for you. 

“Shuji. I have to give a statement to the-”murmuring in a terrified tone as your bottom lip quivers more and tears brim at your lash line. Shuji shoots you an admonishing look in warning.

“No.” Cutting you off with a single word as he turns off the faucet and grabs a towel to dry you off. The authoritative tone was enough to make the other’s tense up as if Mikey or Draken were reprimanding them.

“Shu-“ you begin again - voice just barely above a whisper - as you peer up at him, but he looks at you with an expression that screamed ‘not another word’. Gulping loudly as you shrink back slightly and nod up at him in submission. Swiftly turning to the other three, who jump at his sudden attention - feeling more like a wild cat was zeroing in on its prey - they all subconsciously stand at attention.

“Chifuyu, take her home. Don’t let her speak to anyone. Stay with her until I get there.” He orders, and though Chifuyu wanted to argue, the look on Shuji’s face told him it was better to just nod. So he did, and came over to gently take you by the arm. Looking up at Shuji with pure panic written across your face, “Go,” he commands in the same tone as before. Nodding timidly, before you follow Chifuyu without another word. Shuji then wordlessly looks at Kisaki, who nods and pulls out his phone to make a call.

“Takemitchy,” he says looking down at the blonde who gulps but squares his shoulders anyway. “If you breathe a word of this, then I will kill you and everything you love.” Stating without any emotion in his voice, but his eyes showed a darkness beyond human comprehension. Takemitchy slowly nods - never having seen Shuji, or anyone, be this severe before. 

Kisaki snaps his phone shut, making Takemitchy jump and look in his direction. The 3rd Division Captain nods towards the door, and though he hesitates for a moment, Takemitchy exits the office and beelines down the stairs. On his way down, a member from the opposing team is climbing the stairs at the same time but doesn’t acknowledge the blonde. Later on, Takemitchy heard that he was charged and sent to jail for the guy who died in the office. 

Once outside, Chifuyu didn’t say much to you other than simple instructions - put on the helmet, get on the bike, hold on, go inside. Regardless of the minimal conversation, he was by no means rude to you. If anything he seemed a little scared of you, so when he spotted Scrabble on your bookshelf and asked if you wanted to play, you agreed. 

3 hours of round after round of scrabble until you heard the roar of Shuji’s bike pulling up. Both you and Chifuyu looked relieved to finally be able to stop playing, though you did find out that he had a pretty vast vocabulary - which you made sure to tell him before Shuji entered the apartment. Chifuyu gave you a respectful smile and nod before heading out the door - not a word was exchanged between him and Shuji. 

Once the door was shut, you were a little worried that Shuji would still be in the same mood from earlier, but when he spun around and you saw the softness in his eyes you almost collapsed with relief. Closing the distance between you in two long steps, Shuji then scoops you up and plops down on the couch with you on his lap, nestled safely in his arms. He doesn’t utter a word, just sits there breathing you in and occasionally squeezing you tighter - as if to make sure you were real. It’s a long while before he speaks, and when he does he leans back to look you squarely in the eye.

“Fuck Y/N - I’m so sorry,” he whispers in a guilt ridden voice. “I had no idea what they were planning to do - I didn’t even know you were in danger - Fuck!” Chastising himself roughly as he looks away from you, but you can feel his long fingers trembling where they are wrapped around your back and arm. Slowly, you lean forward until you’re resting your forehead on Shuji’s shoulder causing his breath to catch in his throat. You don’t speak though - you have no clue what to say, or even how you feel after such an ordeal.

“Y/N?” Calling your name quietly, concern lacing his voice. “Are you alright?” Whispering out the question almost timidly as he tightens his arms around you again. Humming softly, you just bury your face into the crook of his neck and lean even more into his chest.

“Mhm,” murmuring softly so he’ll stop fretting, “can we stay like this for a little while, please?” Requesting in a soft and airy voice that makes Shuji nod silently as he lays down on the couch with you still snugly held against his chest. It’s not long before you drift off to sleep in his warm embrace, and he carries you off to bed.

After this day, Shuji goes back to sleeping in the same room as you every night, though now you sometimes sleep at his apartment instead of yours. Even though you told him that you were fine, Shuji said that he wasn’t - that he just needed to know you were safe. Coincidentally, you also start seeing more Toman members around in general - like at your school, near your job, sometimes just passing by your apartment. Shuji just shrugged it off when you asked about it, but you had a feeling he had something to do with the extra protection of late.

The boy next door becomes overly cautious about you after that - never enough to hinder your freedom though - instead he keeps a watchful eye on you at all times, often with Kisaki’s help. Typically, members of the Third Division would show up to escort you through dodgy areas of town when Shuji couldn’t be there. They were all really friendly towards you, and eventually became your acquaintances at the very least, but still you never really knew the operations of Toman and you never asked either.

That day in the warehouse, Shuji broke his promise that he made to himself, but after that he never let his world touch you again. Blissfully unaware just how deep he had gotten into his world when he finally asked you to be his girlfriend; or when your separate homes become one; or when he asked you to be his wife; or even when he made you the mother of his children.

Though over the years you’ve had your suspicions, especially when he would sometimes return home in his three piece suit with the faint aroma of blood and gunpowder clinging to the fabric, but you never ask him about it. 

How could you when he does everything in his power to make sure you and your children never want for anything and keeps all of you inexplicably safe. Even if you were explicitly aware of his activities - would you really care? At the end of it all, you’ve been in love with him since the day you first met that boy next door.

[starlostlix]

Moriarty the Patriot - Sherlock, William, uncertainty and control:

(aka me writing a lot about something i find a bit interesting)

I think what I find most interesting about Sherlock and Liam as a duo (platonic or romantic idrc in this context) is how Liam's ways of controlling Sherlock in his plans differs from the ways he controls others. Whilst people like Bonde and Moran are allowed to improvise as long as his goal is achieved, Liam lets Sherlock choose between a limited amount of ways where he still doesn't completely understand the goal behind the situation. Liam seems to think that it's not completely possible to actually control Sherlock the way others are and has to change his approach. In fact, Sherlock as a person opens Liam up to the idea that not everything can or needs to be controlled or certain.

The first meeting with Sherlock is pure chance. Liam had no knowledge of Sherlock's existence until they bumped into each other on the Noahtic. They randomly strike up conversation by the pure coincidence of being in the same place at the same time. Liam in his letter states that this was entertaining enough for him to forget about his plan (something which is usually a constant in his mind), even considering abandoning it to continue mystery solving with Sherlock as they got to know each other more. All this from a chance encounter, something which Liam doesn't usually have room for in his plans. It opens him up to things, in this case a person, out of his control for the first time in the series as far as we can tell - and he enjoys it.

This leads to the addition of Sherlock into the Moriarty Plan, an unexpected but helpful asset in exposing the misdeeds of the nobility to the people. Liam sometimes describes Sherlock as the main character of the performance, which is significant in terms of their dynamic. With Liam as the director, Sherlock's narrative is technically under his control - so Sherlock is consistently put in situations where he has the power to act in a limited number of ways as per this narrative. This frustrates Sherlock greatly, as he seems to value being in control of the mysteries but now the mystery has control over him. He also knows he's being toyed by someone with more control of the events he's in. However, the control Liam has isn't absolute. Liam gives Sherlock many times to have the answer to the mystery handed to him, which Sherlock denies due to his mentality of wanting to solve the mystery himself. To me this shows that Sherlock is the one that has the choice over continuing the chase (and therefore the entire act) at all. If he'd accepted the answer from Hope or Alder, Liam's entire plotting would have to be rewritten. Sherlock overestimates the control Liam has over him, and Liam knows that he cannot control what Sherlock does completely (but can put restrictions on his options).

This dynamic is especially seen in The Riot at New Scotland Yard, where Sherlock specifically acknowledges that the way he acts could disrupt the Lord of Crime's plans, and is frustrated about his lack of control here. But the fact that Sherlock technically had the power to possibly disrupt Liam's plans at all in Scotland Yard shows that Sherlock has an element of free will in his situations.

In The Two Criminals (im going anime only from here since i haven't got all the way through the manga yet) is the next time we see something that Liam did not control for - Sherlock's act of murdering Milverton. Sherlock may have murdered Milverton to save Watson's marriage, but it seems to be also in part to prove to Liam that he cannot be completely controlled. This is when it occurs to Liam that, in his mind, Sherlock is definitely going to kill him and he plans for just that.

Liam's letter to Sherlock is a goodbye at its core. He plans to have Sherlock at his side in his final moments and thinks that despite their friendship Sherlock will stand by. But by now Liam feels that his control is fading - not only over his people, but his sins. The only thing he requests in that letter (which are the only things he wants to control for) are Sherlock helping others, and Sherlock being by his side to, in essence, pull the trigger and let him accept death.

Sherlock however has shown that Liam cannot control him before and does so again. On the bridge he perhaps does the thing that Liam expects the least - Sherlock tries to help him. In fact Liam is so appalled by the idea that he as the Lord of Crime is worth saving that he tries to regain control of the situation by starting a half-simulated fight. I say half-simulated since the fight is simulated by Liam to say that Sherlock defeated him after the event, but also is full of real tensions between the two. Sherlock is fighting for Liam to stay, Liam is fighting for Sherlock to give up on him and let him die (what he planned for almost his entire life).

Then, dangling above the river Thames, Sherlock pulls out the biggest surprise for Liam - Sherlock came to help because he's his friend. It's funny how Liam is accounted for all the people of London projecting their rage at him, but not for the fact that there may be one or two people that would want to spend time with him. He couldn't have planned for the genuine connection he and Sherlock had gained. He couldn't account for perhaps the most integral thing - a person that actually cares for him outside of his usual circle and wants him to have a happy life, despite everything he's done.

It isn't until he's falling that Liam realised Sherlock is truly an agent of chaos in his otherwise meticulous plan. He watched Sherlock jump to catch him, he views him strangely enough as a symbol of peace. Sometimes, chaos and unpredictablility can bring peace, something that had never accounted for can bring good.

By the time he wakes up in New York, Liam is in a state of uncertainty. No plans, no goals, his life is a 'blank'. It is Sherlock who convinces him that this uncertainty can be a good thing. He can 'paint that canvas however he likes' even if it takes some time. He can struggle to find his way, because the way him finds will still be right for him eventually. Uncertainty and a lack of control can create new opportunities and a new outlook on life. And Sherlock will be there to support him. No matter what he decides to do.

Sherlock represents the uncertainty of life for Liam and the good it can bring. He shows him that he doesn't need to plan everything, a lack of control can be a good thing, and that sometimes the best things can come from chance and uncertainty. They, as a duo, are an product of this uncertainty and lack of control.

(anyways can people tell that i kind of write essays/powerpoints on things i like for fun? this was going to be like one paragraph or two at first but then more details to explore came up. feel free to correct me if i've missed/misinterpreted anything in my writing! I'm still new to MTP - i watched the anime for the first time like 2 weeks ago and have read the first 9 manga volumes too, plus a few of the new york/time skip chapters - but this series has really taken over my life recently and that's not a bad thing)

[duckprintspress]

Intersex Awareness Day: 6 Book Recommendations!

October 26th is the annual Intersex Awareness Day! Considering how many millions of people in the world are intersex, it’s depressing how rare it is to find books by intersex people or that feature intersex characters. Our crew of contributors to these recommendations list knew of six we’d recommend. As always, representation may be explicit or implied, so is potentially open to interpretation. Note that some intersex people consider themselves queer and some do not. We opted to include these books under “queer” for the tagging and shelving systems we use, but we do so with the understanding that not all intersex people are queer and that being intersex doesn’t automatically mean a person is queer. The contributors to the list are Nina Waters, Meera S. and an anonymous contributor.

At 30, I Realized I Had No Gender: Life Lessons from a 50-Year-Old After Two Decades of Self-Discovery by Shou Arai

At age 30, Shou Arai came to a realization; they had no gender. Now they were faced with a question they’d never really considered: how to age in a society where everything is so strongly segregated between two genders? This autobiographical manga explores Japanese culture surrounding gender, transgender issues, and the day to day obstacles faced by gender minorities and members of the LGBTQIA+ community with a lighthearted, comedic attitude.

Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides

“I was born twice: first, as a baby girl, on a remarkably smogless Detroit day of January 1960; and then again, as a teenage boy, in an emergency room near Petoskey, Michigan, in August of 1974. . . My birth certificate lists my name as Calliope Helen Stephanides. My most recent driver’s license…records my first name simply as Cal.”

So begins the breathtaking story of Calliope Stephanides and three generations of the Greek-American Stephanides family who travel from a tiny village overlooking Mount Olympus in Asia Minor to Prohibition-era Detroit, witnessing its glory days as the Motor City, and the race riots of 1967, before they move out to the tree-lined streets of suburban Grosse Pointe, Michigan. To understand why Calliope is not like other girls, she has to uncover a guilty family secret and the astonishing genetic history that turns Callie into Cal, one of the most audacious and wondrous narrators in contemporary fiction. Lyrical and thrilling, Middlesex is an exhilarating reinvention of the American epic.

Nabari No Ou by Yuhki Kamatani

Apathetic schoolboy Miharu Rokujou is content to meander through life in the sleepy village of Banten. But his quiet existence is shattered when the Grey Wolves of Iga, a powerful ninja clan, attempt to kidnap him in broad daylight. Only then does Miharu discover that the ultimate power of the hidden ninja realm – a power that can do both great good and great harm – is sealed within his body. As battles erupt among rival ninja clans seeking to control him, Miharu must overcome his apathy and learn the ways of the ninja if he wants any shot at survival.

Ring by Kōji Suzuki

A mysterious videotape warns that the viewer will die in one week unless a certain, unspecified act is performed. Exactly one week after watching the tape, four teenagers die one after another of heart failure.

Asakawa, a hardworking journalist, is intrigued by his niece’s inexplicable death. His investigation leads him from a metropolitan tokyo teeming with modern society’s fears to a rural Japan – a mountain resort, a volcanic island, and a countryside clinic–haunted by the past. His attempt to solve the tape’s mystery before it’s too late – for everyone – assumes an increasingly deadly urgency. Ring is a chillingly told horror story, a masterfully suspenseful mystery, and post-modern trip.

The Day of Revolution by Mikiyo Tsuda

Kei Yoshikawa is a feisty young boy, troubled by problems at home and annoyed at school. One day after a sudden fainting spell, Kei is examined by the doctor and given shocking news – he is actually supposed to be a girl!

Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire

Wicked is about a land where animals talk and strive to be treated like first-class citizens, Munchkinlanders seek the comfort of middle-class stability, and the Tin Man becomes a victim of domestic violence. And then there is the little green-skinned girl named Elphaba, who will grow up to become the infamous Wicked Witch of the West – a smart, prickly, and misunderstood creature who challenges all our preconceived notions about the nature of good and evil.

What are your favorite books with intersex representation? Please do tell us, we’d love to read more!

You can view this rec list as a shelf on the Duck Prints Press Goodreads profile! Or shop the three that are in print and available on Bookshop.org by visiting our affiliate shop.

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[miwhotep]

THE JACK THE RIPPER CASE IN YUUMORI AND IN REALITY

One of my favourite arcs is the Phantom of Whitechapel because it adapted the real Jack the Ripper case quite well and the story was full of elements what actually happened. I wanted to write a little about the similarities as recently was the anniversary of the first murder.

The Jack the Ripper murders or Whitechapel murders took place in 1888 in the East End of London, the infamously poor Whitechapel district where the underclass people lived. Lot of women here earned their money for the living from selling their bodies and a serial killer, Jack the Ripper started to target them. The number of the victims is unsure, the police accepted five murders to be surely connected to Jack the Ripper, they are often referred to as the canonical five. The women got murdered by their throats being cut away and some of their inestines were also removed from their bodies.

The first victim was called Mary Ann Nichols whose body was discovered at 3:40 a.m. on 31th August. She was last seen alive by a woman she lived with in a lodging house. These all are very similar to how Moriarty the Patriot described the murder details, except that there, the victim's name was Melanie Nichols and she was seen with a blond man.

The second victim was Annie Chapman, her body was found at 6 a.m on 8th September and she was last seen half an hour ago in a company of a dark-haired man. The details shown in Yuumori are again similar, just the victim was called Adeline Bergman.

(Interesting addition to here - just like you see, the fan translation uses the victims' real names while the official gave them fake ones. In the original Japanese, also the fake ones are what are used.)

When it comes to the later murders, Yuumori's story deviates from the historical events, since here, the last three victims of the canonical five was just a stage-play by William who tried to catch the killer(s) with setting up a fake Jack the Ripper. In reality, two of the victims, Elizabeth Stride and Catherine Eddowes were found on the same morning of 30th September - the Morigang placing two of the dead bodies at the same place so they get discovered at the same time must be a reference to that. The last victim, Mary Jane Kelly was discovered in the room where she lived on 9th November - her murder was the most gruesome out of the five, what I think Yuumori also referenced with Jack's show who pretended to kill a woman brutally on the roof.

Several letters signed by Jack the Ripper were sent to the newspapers. The media, especially the Central News Agency where some of the letters arrived, also overexaggerated about the details when they wrote about the murders, spreading a lot of misinformation just to sell more papers. In Yuumori, the group of people responsible for the murders who committed them to cause fear in the public and make a revolution by the Whitechapel Vigilance Committee and the police forces collide, hired Milverton to create the Jack the Ripper agenda with the help of his media power and he also manipulated the public opinion. The quotes shown from the letter sent to the Central News in the Moriarty the Patriot manga are from the first letter (called as Dear Boss letter) signed as Jack the Ripper what was also sent to Central News in reality. The real letter was longer and Jack the Ripper threatened to send the lady's ears to the police instead of her organs (however, with one of his later letters, Jack truly sent one of his victims kidney to the police), otherwise they are the same.

The Scotland Yard, just like in Yuumori wasn't really on the top when it came to solve the murders what resulted in riots and conflicts with the Whitechapel Vigilance Committee in reality too. And just like Chief Inspector Arterton was removed from his position in Scotland Yard - tho, for a slightly different reason - for not solving the Jack the Ripper case one of the police chiefs of London back then was also fired. In Moriarty the Patriot, a doctor was wrongly arrested and sent to prison in order to silence the raging public and in real life, lot of doctors were suspected to commit the murders.

In Yuumori, the identity of Jack the Ripper was solved by both Sherlock Holmes and the Morigang - who killed them - but it stayed unsolved for the public. In reality, the identity of Jack the Ripper either remained unsolved or not - few years ago, there was a DNA test what was said to determine the killer's identity, but lot of researchers believe that the test was incorrect and don't accept the answer.

I adore this arc for how well the series merged reality with fiction and it was especially exciting to read knowing the details of the real Jack the Ripper case.

[enderwolf91]

overwatch x mha collab and juno is getting a legendary skin before venture... 🙂 this is a but of a long one chat

I'm a fucking nerd when it comes to mha, I know the plot forwards and backwards, all the characters inside and out (and yes, practically all of the characters), I've read the manga and watched the anime in both sub and dub multiple times. I'm a nerd for my her academia.

I lowkey kinda predicted this collab when I was thinking about what the next anime collab overwatch was gonna do, and my top two were My Hero Academia and Jujutsu Kaisen.

All this being said, the skins look good. Genuinely, they look incredible and it'll be jarring to see Shigaraki and All Might in my games.

Reinhardt is getting his 3rd collab skin in 3 months, on top of his weapon mythic skin (I hope they chill on the Reinhardt skins after this collab cause there are other tanks who need love too. ie Winston, Ball, Zarya).

Kiriko is getting another legendary skin on top of getting skins every season, including this current season (This I have such major beef with. I know she's easy to make skins for, and those skins look good but out the focus you out into making those skins into skins for other heroes, Blizzard).

Reaper is getting a collab skin the same season he got his mythic skin (which I don't have a big problem with cause he hasn't been getting much recently).

Juno is getting a legendary skin before Venture does... months before Venture gets a skin that isn't even confirmed to be legendary and for all we know could be an epic or lower tier. Juno has the same body type as Kiriko, as does Dva and Mercy mind do who also get a lot of skins, so they're easy to make skins for, put that energy used for making them skins into figuring out good skin for other heroes.

I promise you, Blizzard, the skinny girls and picture perfect boys can have a break for a season or two from playing dress up, give your other dolls a chance to play and you'll find another pool of fans enjoying the game. Be inclusive, stop giving us the same five heroes with different outfits just because they're easier to dress up when you have 35 other heroes who want to play. You tailor the clothes, sew them onto other heroes and you'll find new and more profits.

I don't know what to say about Tracer other than, to me, the Deku skin looks... off. Like they really forced the skin onto Tracer when it didn't fit. Personally, I think Deku could've fit Venture. They have similar hair and body builds (Deku is a bit smaller but it's better than trying to fit a muscular, masculine body onto a petite, skinny girl). Plus then Juno and Venture would be getting legendary skins at the same time, so then Blizzard wouldn't be getting riots for the fact that Juno is getting a skin before Venture.

Also, this collab is gonna be gooner bait. My Hero Academia and Overwatch? They're like the two biggest 3D p*rn producers and they're coming cumming together? Lord have mercy it's gonna break p*rnhub with the degenerates

[bibibbon]

Sometimes I wonder if the writer's depiction of the public has to do with spite towards a particular event. I don't mean to insult them but it feels like the writer is disconnected from the IRL public. This is sort proven by their idea of racism-free cities.

I have well mixed feelings when it comes to horikoshi's portrayal of the overall public. There are moments where I do feel like horikoshi is quite connected to the real life public and is able to portray them quite accurately for example during the vigilante arc.

Also, I guess I can't really talk on this since Japan has a very different culture and societal expectation so maybe certain civilians would react differently to certain things.

I wouldn't say that horikoshi has introduced the idea of racism free cities but more of the idea that less racism occurs in big cities because they have a much more diverse population unlike the country side and where I live this is actually true. While racism and discrimination still occurs everywhere even in big cities it's more or so that it occurs less in big cities compared to the country side or less diverse areas in general. That I can get the point of and it's made clear in the series that thats the case however, the whole hetamorphis discrimination plot line is incredibly undercooked and horribly executed so I definitely see your point in that.

There are moments where horikoshi feels like he is incredibly disconnected from the real-life public like after the war with enji todoroki still having supporters after all he did or the public all liking bakugo even though his behaviour from the sports festival hasn't really changed or how passive the public was to learning that hawks indeed killed twice but they were busy being more outraged about the fact that hawks has an abusive father (they legit made hawks apologise for having an abusive father like he could actually control that stuff) or the public seeing child soldiers on the ground and seemingly not caring while then going to let their kids become heroes at the same system that exploited little child soldiers.

Yet I digress...

My main problem isn't how the public react it's how horikoshi frames the publics reactions and the lack of variety in the publics reaction. Horikoshi frames the public as not understanding when they complain about bakugos behaviour in the sports festival or when he was kidnapped but they were technically in the right or when they wanted to bring Izuku back to UA yes the public have little knowledge but with what they had they had the right to be afraid and cause such a riot but the narrative doesn't seem to suggest that and seemingly makes them pure evil in a way.

Another issue is that while there are sometimes different views like we saw a manga panel of a character supporting Shigaraki urging him to destroy everything there isn't an equal depiction of both sides to the public so we're kind of left wondering a lot and sometimes sharing different views than the public in MHA.

[pbear]

Dimension 20 shows always sweep so I already have a feeling about how this will play out. Opinions below the cut. There may be spoilers for any of these.

Fairy Tail 100 Years Quest: 100 Years Quest isn’t really necessary in terms of story. Fairy Tail was pretty wrapped up. I’m just here for the vibes, but if they perform character assassination, I will riot.

Dimension 20: Never Stop Blowing Up: I’m not really keeping up with this one, more just watching it casually. It’s a really fun premise though. All the players this campaign pull off playing one character in another character’s body really well.

Wistoria: Wand and Sword: This is just Black Clover lol. Jokes aside, I have gotten so invested in this show that I started the manga and have completely caught up. Will is a likeable protagonist (he’s so cute) and the world building is really interesting. One of the teachers is hot and the other one is Severus Snape. From reading the manga, I cannot wait to see more of the anime and meet the characters that have yet to be introduced, especially since the animation is so pretty. Highly recommend.

Fluffy Paradise: Another one I’m watching mainly for the vibes. I don’t usually gravitate to isekai, but this is a pretty chill story about a girl who just wants to pet animals. Honestly, there’s more plot than I thought there would be.

Oshi no Ko: I honestly forgot when Season 2 was coming up and finally caught up once episode 4 was out. It's good. My favorite part so far was that bit where Kana is acting out a fight scene during rehearsal and their acting is represented visually by these paint splatters going everywhere. That was cool. Is Ruby going to do anything? I don't know.

[kozidraws]

Bakugo hates crowds.

He also hates malls.

Yet where does he find himself at 4pm on a Friday afternoon?

At a crowded fucking mall, no thanks to Kirishima.

Kirishima had begged Bakugo for hours the day before to go with him to check out a pop culture store because he heard rumours that there were Nendoroid figurines of their class and class B.

Bakugo very much not wanting to go, points out that they’re going to be shitty knock offs since none of them have signed any merchandise contracts yet. Logical argument, an easy victory for him.

But Kirishima’s counterpoint?

Pouting and bringing out the puppy dog eyes.

Fucking cheater.

He hates when Kirishima does that. (No, he doesn’t).

So now Bakugo finds himself in an extremely cluttered store, Kirishima’s arm wrapped around his shoulders and directing them between rows and rows of ‘official hero merch TM.’

Bakugo lifts a hand to double check that his face mask and beanie are still secure while Kirishima ushers him along. He wouldn’t be caught dead buying any of this junk, all his All Might figures are 100% authentic, thank you very much.

Kirishima on the other hand, looks like a kid in a candy store, ‘ohhing’ it and ‘ahhing’ at any figure that looks super manly.

That’s one word for them…

Bakugo spots a Best Jeanist figure that makes the fibre hero look like a blue giraffe and can’t help but bark out a laugh.

When they finally get to the rumoured Nendoroid section Kirishima slips his arm of Bakugo and practically lunges towards the shelves, instantly grabbing figures of the ‘Bakusquad’ (their words- not his), then practically shoves the boxes in Bakugo’s face.

Blobs of yellow, pink and black so close to Bakugo’s eyes he goes slightly cross eyed before huffing and softly swatting Kirishima’s hand away, “Again Kirishima, they’re just knockoffs.”

Kirishima dramatically gasps in mock offence, cradling their friends and leaning away as if to shield them, “but they’re real to me!”

Bakugo crosses his arms and scoffs, “You’re such a dork.”

Kirishima shifts the figures into the crook of his elbow as he keeps browsing the shelves, inspecting a Uravity figurine before placing it back on the shelf. “Perhaps. They may be knockoffs, but it’s the fist time I’ve seen us as merch! I want to keep them as a memento before we go pro and get licensed and all that jazz.”

“Sap.”

Kirishima grins in response, then turns his head towards the store clerk, “Hey man, do you have any Dynamight ones?”

Bakugo can’t help the instant blush that spreads across his face, he feels so flustered that the clerk is going to recognise who he is he snatches Kirishima’s sleeve, trying to yank him towards the exit but Kirishima doesn’t budge, the jerk. Giving up, Bakugo quickly hikes his face mask higher up and tugs his beanie down to hide more of his hair.

The shopkeeper shakes his head as he’s stocking the shelves, “Out of stock kid, Dynamight is always the first one to go. Will probably get a restock in a week or so if you want to come back then.”

“Aww, that’s a shame,” Kirishima pouts. He’s clearly disappointed (and Bakugo tries not to read into /that/) before the redhead perks back up with a smirk, leaning against him to whisper “Look at you Mr Popular, already number one. But that’s okay, I’m willing to wait for you.”

Bakugo elbows him in response, tempted to headlock his best friend in public but the wary glare the clerk sends his way stops him. Looking back to the figures he spots a Red Riot looking up at him from the bottom shelf and snatches it up. Now it was his turn to shove a figure into Kirishima’s face, “You forgot someone.”

Kirishima’s eyes flicker down and then away, not as enthused as he was before. “Nah don’t need one of me, I just wanted y- the squad!”

“Which includes you-”

“I only have enough money for these.”

Bakugo pauses, feeling defensive on the redhead’s behalf, because Kirishima was always dismissive of things that represented himself. He knew Kirishima could feel Bakugo eyes staring hard at him, but he pretends to look busy while he shuffles the figures in his arms.

Two can play that game.

Bakugo leans against the shelves and shrugs, “Fine, let’s go so you can buy our pack of nerds,” He watches Kirishima’s shoulders ease in relief of the conversation drop before Bakugo holds up the Red Riot box in his own hand and adds, “But I’m taking Red Riot home with me.”

It was worth it watching Kirishima choke on air, cheeks darkening by the second. Now it was the redhead’s turn to try and snatch the figure out of Bakugo’s hand, whining that it’s not worth it, but the blond skilfully dodges him. He struts up to the counter first to drop more yen than what was needed, telling the clerk to keep the change before speed-walking out, leaving Kirishima to fumble with his figurines and wallet to pay.

When Kirishima finally catches up he lightly whacks Bakugo’s leg with the bag. He lets out an exasperated sigh, but Bakugo can see the small blush that stains his cheeks, “You’re a real gremlin when you want to be.”

Bakugo smirks, bumping his shoulder into him in retaliation, “And don’t you forget it.”

————————

TBC

————————

Also on ao3!

[isekai-crow]

Mashle 2 Episode 2

Other Episodes-> ep1 ep3 ep4 ep5

This episode was a riot. It was so much fun.

SO many random HP easter eggs and we get some new fun characters!!

Specifically, Margarette Macaron!!

I love them. Non-binary, music magic, and a love of tartar sauce (and a motorcycle in the ending credits!). (It me? maybe.) Despite seeming like an overused Okama-trope, I have hope based on the spoilers I went searching for. I'm so hype for more of them in the next episode.

VA Squee: They're voiced by Koyasu, Takehito!!! The voice of Dio Brando! Touji Fushiguro! Faust VIII from Shaman King! and Clayman from TenSura!!! A very masculine voice that can also take on feminine tones and a perfect fit for Margarette. Manga Spoiler: I wonder if they'll have another va...

Ep 2 Spoilers Under the Cut! Warning IT'S SO LONG THERE'S SO MUCH.

We open in the middle of the decision to execute Mash or not, and Dumbledore, Harry, and Draco having a stand off lmao

We learn that Whalberg/Dumbledore is a famous wizard because he fought with Innocent Zero in his youth.

Does this mean the shadowed Innocent Zero who was called father by Cell War is the equivalent of Grindelwald, and Evil Jesus(Cell War (or cell wall if you wanna be a pun) is Voldemort? (Also is it father or Father lololol)

ALSO, ARE ALL THESE NAMES FROM A RNG OR PUNS CAUSE I CAN'T TELL YET lmao

We get a little speech from Wahlberg reminiscent of one of Dumbledore's speeches, but more importantly, WHAT IS THE SIGNIFICANCE OF RAYNE ALSO BOWING???

Also his protecting the headmaster is a cute touch

I get that he is one of the Divine Visionaries, but is he more important than the others? He's still a student, wait, HOW DO STUDENTS HAVE THIS MUCH POWER IN THE GOVERNMENT?? NO WONDER ITS FUCKED UP??? Did I miss something??? (His reasoning for not wanting Mash dead also being the flashback to Rayne thanking him for taking care of his little brother?)

And of course Mashle can't be executed, so they set they give him a task to delay his sentencing...

The original goal Mash had in the first place, so ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAS CHANGED.

Them backing the fuck up as Mash punches the floor is fricken hilarious. The best parts though...

1) Innocent Pero / Innocent Gyro - Thats a great subtitle translation choice, because they can't do a straight translation. Mash calls them Innocent Pero, with pero being the onomatopoeia for LICKING something in Japanese (WHATS THAT IMPLYING :EYES:), so Innocent Gyro is a good choice XD

and 2) the scene cuts to the bad guy's lair... which also seems to be shaking...

(I went and installed a gif maker for this >.>)

DON'T TELL ME. IS THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS UNDER THE BUREAU OF MAGIC????? (This is my theory and I'm sticking to it. Season 1 semi-stuck with random Philosopher's Stone plot points and the secret rooms, so it can be a semi-safe bet that season 2 might follow Chamber of Secrets?)

We then jump to an outing at the near by town to celebrate Mash Avoiding Death.

↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ The normal one ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓

Finn is the only actual normal one, WITH STYLE AT THAT, and I love him for it. (However he might also be the target of a Brother Complex and end up on the receiving end if Rayne can get over himself>o>)

The fucking Koalas...

What The Fuck Lmfao. That's all I have to say (but also this is a common gag for Japanese comedians and high school boys so... Still WTF. (This had my Beetle killing himself with laughter))

3 Wizards and a Macho walk into a wand shop and...

And the Macho is the one to get a wand. I'm so fascinated by this. How much damage is this thing going to do when Mash finally yeets it at someone???

The entire second half episode is so cute. Mash is so happy to have friends... I'm so happy for him....

But Also. Poor Finn. Look at these Freaks (affectionate).

YOU'RE ONE TO TALK. But Also Poor Finn.

The last bit. Our introduction to Margarette Macaron.

The fucking... shrimp.

Literally

It took Too Much Time for my ace-ass to realize they're THRUSTING the shrimp into the tartar sauce.

I love them? I love tartar sauce too. It's delicious.

They are so over the top. I love everything about them.

I've added too many photos to this post and tumblr is yelling at me.

So I will leave off with my hype for Rayne vs Margarette in the next episode!!!

↑↑↑↑Imagine me making this same face in anticipation↑↑↑↑

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

Let me tell you now, you're the lucky one

(Enemies to Enemies Who Fuck)

(HaruKaku in Bonten timeline)

(some past-MuSan and past-KakuIza with a subtle RanOmi bc why not, it's my fic and I don't have self-restrain when it comes to multishipping)

(link to ao3 in case some one preferes to read it there)

Warnings: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat!

All of them. Bonten is their own warning. Substance abuse. Really unhealthy coping mechanisms. Depression. Mental health problems. Suicide. Major character death. (it's Bonten, they all want to kill themselves and some of them succeed, okay?) Mentions of unsafe sex, but there is no smut or graphic depiction of it.

I tried to not be too graphic with any of this topics, the focus is mostly on what the characters are thinking/feeling. But it's hard anyway, tbh the last scene was actually difficult and painful for me to write. So please, don't take the CW lightly and prioritize your mental health!

Angst and Hurt/No Comfort.

MANGA SPOILERS!!!!

Notes: HaruKaku came as an hilarious idea. Because they are hilarious, let's be real. Soulmates archnemesis, doomed to hate each other in every timeline. But then Bonten happened and of course, I ended up writing some angsty shit instead of focusing in all the other moments when they are hilarious. Kudos for me, yey! 🥲

This is canon complicit (again, is Bonten, beware!)

It alternates from Kakucho's POV to Sanzu's POV. I did that thing again of using "Haruchiyo" when he's in his most vulnerable state because for some reason I like playing with his name like this.

(English is not my first language, be nice please 🙈)

(the art is from @just-sp-in-inginthevoid who is in part responsible for the archnemesis brain riot, but mostly the hilarious part, tbh)

Is not that Kakucho enjoys Sanzu's company. Or that the pinkette gradually started to grow on him. Quite the opposite, to be honest. He hates him a little bit more every day, every shared mission, every time they had to spent hours together.

But with Sanzu, he feels. He feels intensely, he feels with passion. Even if it's twisted, at least he's not empty anymore. The void that threatens to devour him seems to disappear when he's around the other man. Sometimes, Kakucho wants to murder him, but he knows he can't. Others, he wonders what would happen to him if he also loses the only person that it's still able to provoke an intense emotion on him.

Hate is better than apathy, isn't it?

They hate each other passionately. Sanzu finds his reactions too funny for stopping it, always willing to go a little further, to push Kakucho to the edge. It's too easy to pick on him, making him forget about his allegedly righteous patience.

It's disgusting, how Kakucho thinks of himself like he was better than the rest of them. So Sanzu enjoys to proves him wrong, to show him that they are the same (even if he can't stand that fact either, seeing that burning rage in those heterochromatic eyes makes it worth it).

Now that he thinks about it, it was probably a matter of time, considering that his king denied them the right to kill each other, they needed to find a way of releasing all that build up anger. That's probably why isn't that surprising when it finally happens.

It looked like a regular night. Sanzu was high as a kite, trying to forget every one of his lives. Kakucho just seemed to be there, he can't recall exactly why, some type of report, but he didn't pay any attention to it at the moment, too intoxicated for actually caring for something that could wait until tomorrow.

“Why are you still here? You like me that much or what?”

The pinkette man says, slurring his words.

“Are you that high? You know I hate you.”

Is the harsh answer that he earns. It's brutal, but real. Kakucho's honesty has something that grounds him to the present. It's sickening. It's exactly what he wants right now.

“I hate you too, don't worry.” He laughs, finding his own words amusing. “Think about it, me and you. Just us, hating each other all night long.”

“You're crazy.”

“And you didn't say no.”

(If he was more honest with himself, he would admit that he was trying to find another way of punishing his broken mind and his body. But he's not.)

And oh, it actually feels good. Kakucho fucks him with the same brutality that talks to him. He couldn't bear any type of gentle touch (specially not from someone that it's so linked to Mucho, but he isn't thinking in that, he promised himself to forget his old captain a long time ago).

There isn't any type of care between them, only spite. Both men are too broken for having the ability to love someone again. Indeed, this was precisely what he needed. This is perfect.

The next day, Kakucho feels nauseated. How couldn't he? Sanzu was high as fuck, too intoxicated to give proper consent to do anything. So even if he was also a little drunk, even if it wasn't his idea, Kakucho feels guilty for what happened.

Until Sanzu just laughs at his poorly attempt of apologizing, mocking his morals once more. He was about to punch him in the face, but the lingering guilt doesn't allow him to do it. Not that one more bruise would make a difference, actually.

Both are covered in so many marks that more than sex, it looks like they tried to kill each other. Yeah, maybe he should stop feeling sorry for Sanzu, considering this. Maybe that was the best way to get rid of that not-so-pent-up hate.

And it works. At least for a while, it works. Until it happens again. And again.

Is not that they are lovers (Kakucho wants to puke with that idea). They just fuck from time to time. That's all. They hate each other, they wish they could kill the other. But they can't. So, sometimes, they fuck.

Their relationship is not pretty. At all. Or better. If Kakucho had to use only one word for describing it, he would say “real”. They don't lie to each other, what would be the point? Both are too able of seeing between the lies, they are too similar in so many ways. But that raw honesty only makes it worse.

Kakucho knows it's a mistake, that he shouldn't care about Sanzu's fate (he brought it on himself and he doesn't seem to have any complains). But Mikey is worse every day, the king is falling and his loyal dog is falling with him. Kakucho needs to do something, because the uneasiness he feels every time he sees them is now living rent-free in his mind.

That's why, one day, Kakucho tries. He's trying to find his clothes, dressing quickly, wanting to get out of this room that only makes him feel sick. Then, he looks at Sanzu, his pink hair scattered on the pillows, a lazy and satisfied smile than only appears after sex (and never lasts). There is some twisted vulnerability in how content the other man is while lighting up a joint, as if seeing these new swelling (all this pain) on his skin was something he wanted.

(Kakucho can't shake the feeling that Sanzu is using him as another way of hurting himself and that infuriates him so fucking much... Maybe that's the real reason why he decides against his best judgment and opens his big mouth.)

“Is not worth it.”

“Uh?”

Sanzu looks at the other, not sure if he actually heard something. He just wants to smoke and relax, to feel the post-orgasmic satisfaction while it lasts, to enjoy the pain in his body (one more of his little punishments).

“I said is not worth it. Dying with Mikey.”

If it had been anyone else, Sanzu would shoot him in the face just for saying this. Thinking like that, talking like that about his king is treason. It should be. But it's difficult to pretend Kakucho's isn't right about this when, unfortunately, it's the only one Sanzu trusts with Mikey's well-being (It's the one he calls every time Mikey is being suicidal again).

“You wish you could be me, you wish you had died with Izana.”

Sanzu spits his words, burning with all the rage he feels every time he has to acknowledge the reality of how is Mikey.

“That's not what this is about-”

Kakucho is unable to finish his sentence, turning pale in anger when Sanzu cuts him. 'Good'.

“You're a selfish bastard, aren't you? You want me to be like you, stuck here with no purpose, jerking yourself with the memory of a ghost. Pretend it's because of your high morals, that you're worried about me or some other bullshit. But you're just another selfish bastard. And you envy me.”

If it had been anyone else, Sanzu would shoot him in the face. But he can't (he wants to, oh, he wants it so much, but he can't disobey Mikey's orders). So, instead of bullets, he uses his words.

“At least Izana cared about me.”

Is the last thing he hears before Kakucho slams the door. Sanzu laughs maniacally, throwing the first shit he can find to the place the other man was a few seconds a go. He's momentary satisfaction long forgotten, replaced only by hate (and pain, but one that he refuses to see).

The worst part is that in a sickening way, he trusts Kakucho. They don't lie to each other, that makes it so much worse, because both of them know that what the other said is true. He hates him, he hates him with every fiber of his body. He doesn't want this words to be true, he can't accept that. He needs to keep living in this denial, to pretend Mikey is fine (to pretend he doesn't keep mixing this Mikey with that in his nightmares, to pretend they don't look so alike).

It's been three days. Three whole days since Mikey's death was splattered on the news (no one seems to care about Takemichi's death, even with all that footage of how the hero tried to save the most dangerous man in Japan). Kakucho cares, but he knows damn well that he wouldn't be welcomed within the hero's friends, so he would have to say goodbye in his own way (again).

During this days, Kakucho learned some things, like the fact that apparently everyone had some kind of contingency plan in case this happened (no, for when this happened, all of them could see that Mikey was more on the edge every day). But nobody spoke to him about it, keeping him in the darkness, the only idiot that didn't prepare himself for the end. Well, not the only, he knows that, of course he knows that.

(Sanzu would have killed them in the blink of an eye. Anyone who dared to imply that Bonten needed to be prepared to function without a king.)

Kakucho understands the need for secrets, of course he does. The idea of Mikey falling would be considered treason a few days ago, it was taboo to think like that. At the same time, none of them wanted to acknowledge it, like saying it out loud would make it more real. He can't even be mad when the Haitanis (obviously) thought about him on their own schemes, making sure Kakucho was also safe. Or as safe as any of them could be now that Bonten was crumbleling.

It's been three days. Bonten is crumbleling. Mikey is dead. And Sanzu disappeared the same day. Everyone knows he's dead, but they don't say it. Not in front of Takeomi, who's still desperately looking, going out in the rain for hours. Trying to find something, some clue that leads him to his little brother. Clinging to the hope that he's still alive somewhere. That he's going to find him, high as fuck, but alive (Kakucho thinks being able to find Sanzu's body at all would already be a miracle).

Only Ran is able to convince Takeomi to rest a little bit, promising that he and Rindou will help with the search as long as the older man gets a few hours of sleep. Takeomi just nods, mumbling “Today is his birthday, Ran. Is his fucking birthday and he's out there alone.” while Ran drags him softly, a concerned look plastered in those violet eyes.

Kakucho hates it, hates having to see all this sorrow around him (again). He doesn't lament the loss of Mikey and Sanzu, he's incapable of doing it. Grief took his heart for hostage a long time ago, there is nothing more for him to mourn.

More than anything, Kakucho hates himself, because he's jealous of Sanzu. He knows he shouldn't, but he hates that the pinkette man was right about him. He envies Sanzu, who had the privilege of dying with Mikey, of dying with his king.

Kakucho hates the Mad Dog even more right now. But he's aware that once this hate fades away, he would feel empty again. So he clings onto this feeling, he needs this rage as a motor to keep moving.

It doesn't matter if this energy is fulled with rage, he needs it. He can't fail his friends, what's left of his family. Kakucho has to keep living even if he can't remember how being alive felt anymore. Even if he's more dead inside every day.

So, over and over... Kakucho would keep living.

The rain keeps pouring down without truce, Haruchiyo shrinks inside the leather jacket that was always too big for him. Now the only thing that makes him feel protected from that annoying rain (from the world). To be honest, he isn't completely aware how he managed to recover it from his penthouse, but it seemed important in that moment.

The jacket and the old picture that he's still clutching in his pocket, the only two things he cared enough to take. He doesn't even need to look at it to see the four happy smiles stained with watermelon juice. Two pink haired kids that could be confused by twins, one with a shy smile, the other with a cheerful one, happy to be included with his brother friends. Next, a fierce smile showing two small fangs, already a force of nature at his young age. In the middle, a blond kid with the most radiant smile Haruchiyo ever saw, capable of making everything shine just with his presence. Full of life, of dreams. Full of potential. Brighter than the sun, a true leader.

But that was a long time ago and, once again, Sanzu is the only one who remembers. The man staggering in the rain is now the only survivor from that photo. Only him, alone in this fuck up world where nothing and no one matters anymore. Not without Mikey. Even Bonten can burn from what he cares.

He keeps walking (it feels more like floating for him, floating in a cloud of pain and numbness at the same time). Until he finally reaches his destination, an abandoned bowling alley. Sanzu enters in some kind of trance, not sure if he's dissociating or too intoxicated. He doesn't care.

He sits down exactly in the same place his king sat down. How many days had passed since that moment? One? Two? Ages. It certainly feels like ages for him. Haruchiyo hugs himself, trying to make space for his legs inside the big comforting jacket. Completely curled up. And he cries, he cries like he hasn't allowed himself to do so in the last ten years.

He's starting to sober up, he can feel it. Because the flashbacks are coming back. Shinichiro jumping from that bridge. Mikey jumping from this exact building. Mikey falling from the stairs, that awful “clonk”. Mikey jumping again from this building.

Haruchiyo screams, holding his head with both hands, begging the images to stop, unable to continue reliving those memories. He needs everything to stop, to be quiet, his shattered mind can't take it anymore.

He takes out a small box from his pocket, looking at the content. Everything he needs is here, he knows how to do it, how to make sure he's not going to wake up from this trip. His stupid hands are shaking while he gets the syringe ready.

For some reason, he suddenly remembers Kakucho's words a few months ago. He hates it, he hates thinking in that fucker when he's about to die. But the other man was right, wasn't he? Mikey never cared about Sanzu, he spent years of his life trying to keep his king alive and it was all for nothing. Everything blew up in one night.

A manic laugh escapes between his whimpers. Of course is that, he's fucking jealous. Sanzu is fucking jealous because at least Kakucho got to held Izana's hand when he died, he got to comfort his king in his last moments. Sanzu didn't had that, Hanagaki was the one holding Mikey's hand. Always that cockroach, never him.

What did he expect anyway? Haruchiyo is just a failure. He never deserved to be the one making his king last moments less painful. Of course, he should had known. He failed everyone. He failed Shinichiro, unable to protect Mikey, to be the friend he promised he would be. He failed Mikey, watching him falling into the darkness, becoming the same empty shell he already saw in a past that never happened, and doing nothing about it.

Sanzu doesn't have anything left. He also killed his own chance of happiness a long time ago (he also failed his captain, didn't he?). The only thing left for him is to disappear, to follow his king. He's going with him, because he's being following Mikey for so long, that he doesn't see any other choice. He's going with him, because he doesn't deserve to keep living when he couldn't save Mikey.

But it's fine, the drug is already kicking in, his body feels more relaxed. Even his mind seems to be quiet, almost in peace. He looks at the old photo one last time, before drifting out of consciousness, looking for safety in the inner part of the leather, pretending it smells like cheesecake.

It's fine, because at the end of the day... Haruchiyo was just a failure.