#this man is NOT a good liar lmao
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😂😂😂
#this man is NOT a good liar lmao#oh i’m sure he was so devastated when sg announced he was leaving💔💔#💀#anyways what else was he supposed to say#trent alexander arnold#trent#liverpool fc#lfc
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whipped | /wipt/ adjective
kim do ha
#userdramas#kdramaedit#kdramanetwork#mine#my lovely liar#lextag#udeokmis#roserayne#swiftletinthecloud#I DON'T KNOW HOW TO COLOUR DON'T LOOK AT MEEEEE#pretty sure every gif here has a different colouring but none of them even look good#anyway#the way he put up no resistance#“i want to see you” okay “i want to go camping” okay i'll hire equipment so we can go right now#like WE GET IT YOU'RE GONE FOR HER#i have been inspired by this scene#i want to make a whipped boys series lmao#sounds fun but it won't happen you say?? you're correct#also ps hated me with this set omfg the text effects and everything >:[#ah man i need to change the colouring ksh looks so whitewashed on mobile 🤧
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light
#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 7#yakuza series#yakuza 7#yakuza like a dragon#arasawa#masumi arakawa#jo sawashiro#snap sketches#i said i was almost done with this like five hours ago LMAO liar#i keep accidentally typing yakuza 8 and yeah i hope we get 🏳️🌈❓❓ flashbacksin that. i hope we get that. <- we will not#heh this is what i was referencing in that In The Tags post.. continuity from me ?? unimaginable..#lowkey inspo'd by the fact that /my/ lighter is only ever good for one (1) light then its just. Dead for some reason#i dont smoke but i do light incense. if you were wondering.#ANYWAY MY APOLOGY FOR PUTTING ARAKAWA THROUGH HORRORS THIS WEEK#ive got nothing but cute things in mind so to quote linkin park No More Sorrow#i keep drawing them in their twenties and thats not a problem i GUESS but it is for me#but Double Good i do only have Middle Aged Shenanigans on the brain#if i try to imagine any Old Man Yuri its going to get depressing so. forrgive me for the lack of silver foxes. im crying too i know#<- forcing myself to fight off that one evil idea i had AWAY WITH YOU. ANOTHER TIME.#let me detox a bit. after i finish comm work of course.....#i feel like i draw cigarette kisses a lot but i dont remember the last time and i havent drawn it recently so Free Real Estate#drawing this reminded me i have therapy Technically later today 'snap how are these related'#cause my first sess my thera wanted me to talk bout myself and i told her i draw comics and goofy shit like this#and she said some stuff my sis would say fuckin 'if it makes you happy its not dumb :)' like OK. WHATEVER. I KNOW.#also dont worry i dont have a therapist for The Brain Demos its just so i get medicine#ok i should sleep. i wanna get comm stuff done before Phone Therapy so byyyyyyeee#im gonna imagine SO many scenarios that ill inevitably share with all of you at some point
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did your father cheat on your mother? god i read that part of your poem and it ruined my day (loving)
no, anon. my father did not cheat on my mother
#anon I know you meant to compliment me and I really appreciate it and am glad you like my writing#but. please remember that im a poet/writer#aka a lying liar who lies#I know it's hard to believe everything I write isn't based on personal experience because of how emotional they seem but trust me#I write stuff that didn't happen to me all the time#please leave my poor dad out of it lmao that man is a sweetheart all i write is good stuff about him#only thing that might've given you this idea is something that was clearly stated to be a excerpt from my novel#so uh. yeah#please don't make assumptions about who I am based on my writing. much love
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frankie & who????
#“ ⍀ face. « i’ll be honest / we’re all liars.#( OOOOOOOH U WANNA TAKE HER FLYING SO BAD )#( you could tell her your shit is going down and she starts singing like riff raff in that one vine )#( frankie the second there's a lil bumpy patch on ANY plane: WOW. that was a big one! )#( she should have been a flight attendant )#( part of her is that she has an IMMENSE ability to compartmentalize any sort of negative feeling )#( or ig i should say perceived negative feeling because it could be a useful feeling sometimes like )#( is there a fight flight freeze fourth option? )#( dissociate??? Lmao idk )#( frankie is a good man in a storm and i will preach that until the day i die or she's dies which comes first ig lol )#( anyway! She likes to fly and she likes turbulence and will hold your hand if you're scared and buy you a drink )#( her doing x*nax and at*van definitely doesn't help her be reactionary but- ya know lol )#( sorry this is all I've got tonight folks my brain is poorly but it'll get better!#( sending y'all love and vibes and shit 💓 )
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i love watching youtube analyses of movies and shows and i love when the person explaining something is totally wrong about the thing theyre talking about
#myposts#right now this is about someone talking about midnight mass with the pre-existing assumption that its basically only a show about critiquin#christianity and not about a really interesting and sincere discussion of faith and personal accountability within faith#which is WAY more interesting than that person claiming that the scene of the people walking to easter mass with candles is supposed to be#reminiscent of the charlottesville unite the right rally which makes literally no sense as a comparison whatsoever#and like. saying stuff like that monsignor pruitt is completely self-serving and only bad-intentioned and manipulative#and missing so many sides to his character and his actual internal struggle alltogether because the person just assumes he has to be a liar#like pruitt is SUCH a good character BECAUSE he deep down means well#like he GENUINELY thinks that he is doing the will of god and he struggles to contextualize what he percieves as gods will#with what he is suddenly forced to do (eating humans) and like. he doesnt realize that he should be questioning if hes really ACTING for go#and thats the main THING you know. people who are held in a frame of belief might try to rationalize EVERYTHING through that frame#even if it starts to oppose their actual beliefs. like. its a prettttyyy significant thing for pruitt that he starts questioning why#god suddenly 'allows' him to kill people and instead of reflecting on it he holds a SERMON saying that GOD CHANGED HIS MIND ABOUT MURDER#like I LOVE pruitt because he's that realistic and like all this person can see is a very shallow critique of christianity#which this show isnt honestly ALL that interested in (at least not from the side this person is talking about it lmao)#and jessie gender (who doesnt know about it but whom i have beef with) commented 'excellent analysis' under the video#dare i say. it was not. it was really mid anaysis and like half the plot just FLEW over this person's head apparently#like. theyre not wrong but they are kinda analyzing a side-plot (the social ostracization of people non-christian from the community over#the run of the show) like it's the main plot and only plot going on lmao#but this post is also about every man who ever opened his mouth to speak about shiv roy
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the only time the mcu was ever right in calling itself 616 is when they had mysterio do it
#he’s a liar! that’s his whole thing! he did exactly this in the comics!#it was a GOOD fucking nod to his untrustworthiness for people who would catch it at the time#and then kevin feige had to go and fuck it up lmao#🕸 ❝ i have nothing left… except spider man ❞ → ooc
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I found out about the Kazui inno verdict in the middle of my high school graduation ceremony 😭 congrats king!!!!!
#this is a rare case where i'd be okay with both innocent or guilty i just hope something good can maybe come out of this result#let this guy have a shred of self-acceptance please for the love of god thats all i ask#man his voting has truly been a wild ride from start to finish lmao#ofc this isn't gonna stop me from thinking/posting about his trial 2 content because i somehow still have not gotten over it#the liar-duo posting will never end until im dead!!
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─ 𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘦 𝘪. (𝘪'𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘸𝘯𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦) 🧶
⤷ summary: the world meets the newest mclaren team member, and they are loving it! it's poor oscars first day and shit's already hitting the fan sorry dude ): LMAO. lando just experienced love at first sight, while y/n is ready to fist fight
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liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 32,890 others
mclaren oscar's first day of kindergarten, done. pre-season testing, done. (we'll be even faster soon 🙏🏼 don't worry guys)
2,568 comments
user2 HELLO??? WHO HACKED THE MCLAREN ACCOUNT
user6 we'll be racing past redbull in no time
mclaren a girl can dream
user7 lando is this you??? 😭
user8 budget dropped so low they had to hire the drivers for social media
user3 this is haas money behavior
mclaren excuse you i am NOT LANDO
user8 oscar????
mclaren no sir, i'm the owner of this house 🫵
user9 idk if this is a new admin but this is so unserious
mclaren new year new me babe
user9 give her a raise mclaren 🙏🏼
mclaren REPOST REPOST REPOST
landonorris first day on the job and already asking for more money?
mclaren i'm so sorry lord lando, you forget that us lowly peasants aren't on an athelete salary 🙄
user10 HUMBLE HIM, WE LOVE TO SEE IT
user11 mclaren admin beefing with lando was NOT on my 2023 bingo card
user12 she really said, "ik we're slow but LET US COOK"
mclaren TRUUUSTTT THAT COMEBACK IS COMING (im manifesting)
oscarpiastri KINDERGARTEN??? i'm nearly 22 mate
mclaren teensy weensy baby basically
oscarpiastri your fired /:
mclaren HAHA YOU CAN'T DO THAT 🏃🏻♀️
user13 petition for all the f1 team accounts to be run by young admins, this is tooooo good
mclaren screenshotting this for my boss so they don't see these comments and fire me
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user14 she. looked. up. his. salary. 💀 ICON
user15 hiring her was such a rare mclaren W
user16 MCLAREN ADMIN HEAR OUR PRAYERS AND MAKE TIKTOKS 🙏🏼
user17 OMG CAN U IMAGINE
user18 HOW MUCH MONEY DO I HAVE TO PAY MS. MCLAREN FOR THIS OMG
user19 will our team win? probably not BUT AT LEAST WE'LL BE GETTING CONTENT 😘
user20 AYYYYEEEE
user21 LANDO MAY NEVER WIN, BUT THE FANS NEVER LOSE 🤞🏾
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liked by mclaren, maxfewtrell, and 60,050 others
landonorris don't mind me, just living my lord life on my athlete's salary. bahrain here we come!
10,750 comments
user22 WHERES THE MCLAREN ADMIN
user23 lando nowins flexing on us poor people
user24 someone come get this man's phone
user25 oh i KNOW pr is mad 💀💀💀
user26 daniel ricciardo leaves and mclaren loses it's mind
user27 daniel leaves and all of us lose our minds 🥲
oscarpiastri jesus christ mate, log out
mclaren i'm not sure he knows how, he might need to pay someone to /:
user28 CRAZZZYYYY
user29 THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTING
user30 "f1 is a serious sport." the serious sport in question:
user31 the papaya hat 🫵
user32 HE'S SO FINE IM GNAWING AT THE BARS
user33 BARK BARK WOOF WOOF
mclaren phones. on the table. NEOWWW
user33 holy shit this is actually so embarrassing
mclaren at least ur self aware!
user34 she clocked ur asses 😭😭😭
maxfewtrell lord lando flying economy
landonorris I AM NOT
user35 bro took that personally
user36 me thinks the man doth protest too much
danielricciardo i leave you alone for a few months and this is what you're doing
landonorris i learned from the best
danielricciardo DONT BLAME ME FOR THIS
maxverstappen1 ... that's my plane???
landonorris SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
maxverstappen1 you can't just take credit for my private jet. its mine.
mclaren this just in, little lando norris is a little LIAR
mclaren when he steals a plane and wears bucket hats 🫵🤣 everyone point and laugh
landonorris I QUITE LIKE BUCKET HATS
mclaren i quite like bucket hats 🇬🇧☕️🤓
maxverstappen1 🫵🤣
danielricciardo 🫵🤣
charles_leclerc 🫵🤣
carlossainz55 🫵🤣
maxfewtrell 🫵🤣
oscarpiastri 🫵🤣
landonorris OSCAR????
oscarpiastri 🫵🤣 🫵🤣 🫵🤣
mclaren damn he got you there
user37 this cannot be real
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There were quite a few things Lando expected to be on his agenda when he arrived in Bahrain after him and Max went seperate ways to their own teams. He figured he would meet with his engineers, spend some time getting adjusted to working with Oscar (especially given he hadn't had very much time to meet or bond with the rookie over the break or during pre-season testing), and doing some press interviews as per usual. However no where on his list was an impromptu meeting with Zak Brown. Oscar seemed clueless as to what was going on as well, and Lydia, Lando's personal assistant of two years, was just as clueless.
Lando and Oscar filed into the board room, bottles of water in hand, only to be met face to face with their team manager. Nothing seemed suspicious which Lando hoped was a good thing, but after their underwhelming performance in pre-season testing he knew anything was a possibility.
"Have a seat guys, it's good to see you both. I hope you've been well-rested since testing," Zak greeted with his usual cheerful attitude. Lando and Oscar looked at each other warily but nodded at their boss nonetheless. Zak was usually more of a 'get to the point' kind of man, so this change of pace was unnerving to say the least. Normally it scared Lando a little bit, but truthfully, right now, Lando wanted to be done with this meeting and to get to race preparations.
"That's good, you need all the rest you can get if we're going to try and put up a fight this weekend. In all honesty, I think within the next two years we have a chance to become real competition here. I think we can give Red Bull and Ferrari a run for their money and earn plenty of points this year. Hell," the older man chuckled, "maybe we can win it all."
Lando didn't want to seem skeptical, but he was definitely skeptical. He did not think the car he was given in testing could win the championship, but he would sure as hell be trying.
"But no matter how hard the engineers work the car, and no matter how many sims we do, the one thing we're lacking in is presence. McLaren is notable, we have a famous team and a long roster of famous, successful drivers, including the two of you, but we don't have the same dominating media presence that Mercedes or Ferrari do. And that's what gets us sponsors, and celebrity visits, and fans, and funding. We may not be struggling for money, but if you guys like your multi-million dollar salaries and you want your car to keep being better, we need more media presence. Which is why we decided we wanted to go a bit of a different route this year, with media and all of that."
Oh god. Lando knew where this was going. This was about the new social media admin that had been ruthlessly harrasing him- albeit teasingly- for days now. Only employed for less than two weeks and already stirring up the pot across platforms. Lando looked at Oscar, noting that his teammate was clearly following as well now.
"I know you both have come to realize this already, but there is a new social media manager who runs all of the McLaren accounts. We wanted someone young, someone trendy, someone who knew what the internet is looking for, and who can help us connect and start getting more eyes on McLaren. We want her to meet with you guys today to share a couple of ideas so you can be on the same page for what we'll be doing online. The new manager is just outside. Let me get her so you can speak with her."
Lando nodded dumbly. Right, ok, he could do that. Lando was young, he was online, he was trendy. Plus, most of if not all of the F1 drivers had some kind of media presence already. Lando streamed, he had instagram accounts and twitter, and he even had Quadrant. Lando steeled himself. This would be just fine. An adjustment, but fine.
Zak greeted someone outside of the door and a small bit of shuffling sounds were heard. Before Lando had a chance to stand, Zak was turning and nodding a quick goodbye. Leaving the office room, as a smaller body replaced the space he had been in.
Lando felt like the air had been knocked from his lungs and hoped he hadn't made a noise out loud. He stared, he couldn't help it. He was sure he was slack-jawed, mouth agape and flies coming in. Somewhere in the back of his mind he registered that he should be professional and behave like a normal human being. But the other part of his brain, the dominant part of his brain, was in awe.
Lando looked at the girl in front of him up and down, probably far too obviously, and was stunned. He saw jean shorts, a faded and a mid-washed denim. A colorful-tighter cropped shirt and some layered gold jewelery. Rings on her fingers. Sunglasses in her hair, making her look way to cool to ever speak to him. She rocked on the balls of her sneaker-clad feet- sneakers that matched her clothes perfectly much to Lando's delight- and quickly moved to set her laptop down of the table. She left her small colorful handbag on the table alongside a cup of iced coffee that was already melting in the Bahrain heat. She looked as if she had jumped straight from a Vogue cover (or one of his favorite dreams) and landed right in front of him.
Was it the heat that was making it so hot? Because Lando was becoming suddenly aware of the heat beneath his shirt collar. A stifled cough from Oscar drew Lando from his observation- or rather his creepy, stalker staring- and Lando realized this was not the social etiquette that the situation called for.
Before Lando could even take a step, the girl smirked.
"Nice to finally meet you guys. Hello Oscar," the girl leaned over and shook the taller man's hand. "And Lord Lando, is it? It's nice to finally meet you. I'm Y/N L/N, i'm the new social media manager for the season."
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Y/N could now officially say she is not a fan of Lando Norris. The online feud she had cleverly created to generate some conversation about McLaren before the season started had been banter. She had taken no offense to Lando's jokes at all, but now that she was in front of the man and could feel his judgement, her opionions had changed.
From the second she walked in Lando had begun unabashedly staring at her. Looking her up and down, from the shoes she had recently bought to the hair clipped back on her head, and was not sparing a single detail. She felt vaguely like a mannequin on display and it unnerved her.
Oscar smiled at her politely as she set her things down, and she felt thankful for the reprieve from the judgement and critcism she had been recieving since she arrived and was now experiencing again from Lando in full force.
Y/N was aware that her outfit wasn't uniform or professional, but those were not the qualities she was hired for. Y/N had been confident coming in here, feeling like she would likely connect better with people her own age, but was thoroughly dissapointed to find this was not the case.
Oscar ultimately cleared his throat awkwardly, and it appeared as though this finally snapped Lando out of his judgemental stupor, so Y/N decided to finally make her introductions.
"Nice to finally meet you guys, hello Oscar," she leaned over and shook the taller man's hand. "And Lord Lando, is it? It's nice to finally meet you. I'm Y/N L/N, i'm the new social media manager for the season."
Lando groaned loudly and Oscar laughed.
"Lando I don't think you'll ever live this one down," and Y/N forced a laugh and nodded in agreeance.
"No, probably not. But that's good, that's what I was hoping for." Y/N stated bluntly.
"You were hoping to torture me?" Lando stuttered out and Y/N rolled her eyes, "You'll live I promise." Oscar laughed before pointing out, "at least your not a kindergartener."
Lando stifled a laugh but agreed.
"What purpose did Oscar's baby jokes serve?" Lando asked, and Y/N forced herself not to punch the man at his judgemental tone. He clearly didn't believe in her ability to do her job.
"It's funny, that was it's purpose," she stated, gesturing to the table for the boys to sit as she opened up her laptop. She turned to face toward them, lifting herself slightly so was seated criss-crossed in the chair. She never had liked sitting normally. The boys across from her stared at her expectantly.
"So you create jokes the make people look at us more?" Oscar asked.
"In a way yes. My job is to manage the accounts, but I've also been hired to help get you guys more fans. Fans love to be interacted with, they love seeing you guys joke around, they like feeling like they have content to consume," Y/N explained.
"By playing into these desires, you get more fans, because they feel they 'know you" in a way they don't know the other drivers." The boys nodded their head in understanding.
"So the plan is for me to keep interacting with fans through the McLaren accounts, playing up jokes with you too, and for us to give the fans new content in a way they don't usually get it. Livestreams, youtube vlogs, inside internet jokes, TikToks, the works." Y/N stated.
"Essentially," she said dragging the word out, "I'm going to make you guys the internet's little papaya stars," Lando laughed but nodded. Y/N, despite her first impressions and her developing dislike for the driver, found herself smiling. She could see the vision. Both Oscar and Lando would be awkward and loveable and humorous. The perfect mix for internet support.
"So where do we start?" Oscar asked.
"I'm glad you asked," Y/N smirked. "Have you heard the clip of 'Cuffing Season' by SZA? There's a TikTok trend I think will be perfect for you to do."
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user38 can we talk about how gorgeous admin is?!?!? LIKE OH MY GOD
user10 only hot people go to mclaren
user40 that check better be huge for her
user41 oscar was so mf stiff 💀💀 free my boy
user42 who had a gun to oscars head, he was so scared
user43 lando thirst trapping ICB 😭 I NEED A BIG BOYYY
user44 god admin is so sexy and smart, that was art
user45 CAN WE DISCUSS HOW LANDO LOOKS AT HER
user46 ikr 💀 get off the floor lando your drooling
user47 i want a man to be that down bad for me
user48 lando loverboy era unlocked
user49 meanwhile admin didn't look him in the face
user50 f1 2023 is going to be a WILD RIDE for us mclaren fans if this is before the first race even starts
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hope you all enjoyed! please let me know your thoughts and feel free to leave a request for me to write something for your fav <3
-
𝙩𝙖𝙜 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩
@lemon-lav @slutforpopculture @m4rt10ne
#f1 x female reader#f1 x reader#f1 x y/n#formula 1#f1#f1 smut#f1 x you#formula one#f1 imagine#f1 smau#lando norris smau#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris fanfic#lando norris x reader#lando norris#lando norris imagine#racew1nn3rs: fake it till you make it#racew1nn3rs
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I just know Jason is so fed up with the rest of the Batfam not knowing how much of a shitbag Dick was when he was a teenager. I know this man looks like a complete nutcase when he tries to convince Tim or Damian that Dick had his asshole phase, too. Don’t believe his fucking golden boy, depressed, running on fumes, burnt out, “I’d give everything and then some for the good of the world” act. He’s a lying liar that lies. It’s ALL lies.
Mr. Professional Older Brother was a goddamn menace to society, and Jason Todd is gonna PROVE IT, DAMNIT.
“I know what you are,” says Jason.
“Lol,” says Dick. “Lmao.”
#dick grayson#jason todd#batfam shenanigans#dc memes#dick and jason#batboys#tim drake#batman#batfam#bat family#ev-arrested
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See one of my favorite things about fanon is that Dick is like a normal dude outside of nightwing like genuinely he’s normal person who isn’t that extreme canonically. He loves his family but he needs space with them and doesn’t want to be a carbon copy of his father.
He follows Bruce is moral compass while also being more lenient on some crimes. He canonically values life and protecting the sanctity over it than actually stopping crime and has a very strong moral compass that exceeds “well it’s the law”. Dick canonically thinks that Corrupt police officials are worse than criminals and became a cop to weed them out the same way he did the mob. And has bad blood with the BPD despite working for them.
He has genuine reservations about trusting Jason for obvious reasons even if you don’t like Dicks run as Batman where Jason was flat out the worst or like stealing the Nightwing suit in New York in brothers and blood. While still being able to work with and like him.
He is supportive of Tim while still being frustrated at taking on more work bc he knows Tim does too much and will need help.
He loves Damian but steps away from that relationship because unlike Bruce at his age he’s emotionally mature enough to realize he cannot be a parent for the kid. A role model sure! A big sibling, yeah. But not a parent.
He didn’t want Steph as spoiler, Robin or batgirl bc she wasn’t well trained but neither did literally anyone else. Once she and him started working together they had a decent relationship.
Dick and Cass have a strong relationship and he helped Babs with her when Bruce was being an asshole while still not stepping into a parent role bc he’s in his mid 20s and not going to do that actually.
And Dick believes Duke is going to become a big leader in the hero world and sees his potential despite not agreeing with the we are Robin thing.
And the fanon goes 1 of 3 ways
he’s fully uninvolved, doesn’t like the bats, has cut them off after trying to send Tim to Arkham, and abusing/ mistreating or co-signing the mistreatment of Jason. All his relationships with everyone except Damian have been erased. He ruined Tim’s trust, hated young!jason, has never spoken to Steph or duke and Cass doesn’t like him because she’s on babs side or in Hong Kong.
Or
Literally Bruce Wayne’s lapdog, says yes to everything with the worst case of battered women’s syndrome you’ve ever seen. Jason must stand up for him and protect him from the big bad bat/ the bats cut him off aswell after abandoning the bat movement (more rare but I’ve seen it). He doesn’t have critical thinking and his morals are identical to Batman’s and he refuses to question them. Will call the police on a homeless man stealing food bc it’s illegal. And has never tried to rehabilitate anyone including his friends, abandoned Roy and Kory bc of moral differences. He’s still a cop and doesn’t understand the nuance that Jason, Tim, Steph and Duke do.
Or
Dumb himbo, doesn’t know nothing except smile and nod. Pretty face, no brain. Has had one thought and it’s the fact he misses his siblings and needs his cereal oh wait was that two thoughts? He forgot how to count lmao. Babs or Tim will roll their eyes and do stuff for him bc he’s so dumb and sweet like a puppy who has had a lobotomy. :( doesn’t even have a college degree dumb silly teehee. Worst liar you’ve ever met everyone can see right through him hehe. He’s loves Bruce and calls him Dad 24/7 and uses nicknames for everyone.
And like it’s total flanderization
He has some of these traits sure, (more rigid moral compass, more willing to work with other heroes and delegate though this one literally only became a thing during Tom kings run and maybe a little bit after Donna died, in the current canon he went to Uni for business and dropped out, he’s not as good on the tech side as oracle)
But they’re just so exaggerated and I firmly believe it’s bc the rest of the bats are so extra. Like Tim trying to clone his dead bestie 99 times.
Jason goodness gracious I’ve been bamboozled let me try and kill the penguin on live tv
Damian my mother literally tore my spine out
. Duke let’s start a cult that’s something that isn’t dumb and won’t get us murdered.
And Dick is just there like… yeah fuck okay.
Like he’s still unhinged even for a superhero but he’s just objectively more hinged than all of his siblings like you’re telling me if TIM got the talon ancestry storyline shit wouldn’t have hit the fan??? The mother fucker who at age like 13 broke in Nightwing and starfire’s house, memorized all their schedules bc he’s the most insane stalker you’ve ever met. You’re lying and we both know it.
And everyone thinks their fave is the sane won and you are all just wrong I fear. I have already slandered Tim so I’ll do the rest for funsies
“Oh babs is the only sane one”
Bby Barbara is such a stalker with a need for control someone stole her tech and turned Gotham into a police state. If she decided that she wanted to go dictator she has a WHOLE setup for it. She’s also unhinged
“Jason just needs to get away from the bats then he’s the only sane one who the others go to for protection”
Yall Jason’s 2 biggest teams were
An Amazon, and a kryptonian
An arrow and an alien (also some times an Amazon)
So the league big three knock off and a titans knock off
He has also slept with his dad’s ex and 2 of his brother’s exes. Let’s not pretend that he’s being dragged back into the bat family, bro never left.
He wears a bat on his chest
He has a helmet with explosives in it… when he died in an explosion and fought with a crowbar when it was one of the major reasons he died. Let’s not talk about his whole thing with scarlet but the Morrison run had some weird characterization.
“Damian-“ no actually you can’t even start with Mr let’s go to Lazarus island. Let me adopt a giant bat monster bc my abusive childhood means I slaughtered his entire race. No actually I will not allow it. The fucker is unhinged and I love him.
“Steph” - you know what she is also my fave so everything she has ever done is justified and she has the best batgirl run and also her and Damian are hilarious. (She’s also the best female bat hands down I prefer her to both Cass and Babs for so many reasons I will not get into)
In summary this isn’t actually a criticism I find it hilarious plz keep going my darling fanon fanfic writers
#nightwing#batman#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#batfam#bruce wayne#comics#damian wayne#batfamily#stephanie brown#Dick ‘leave me alone’ Grayson#and the codependency of the rest of the bat family#is amazing
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my fucking yaoi is out for delivery and im stuck at this baka school !!!!!!!!!!
#snap chats#this sounds like the title to a terrible manga but NOOOOOOOO LET ME OUT OF HEEERRRRE#just three more days then i get my old man yaoi........ god........#acnt wait to destro my kidney before tho 🥴#OH BUT i might stream later. idk if i have class but either way 7:30 is Weirdly a good time for people???? i think.#whih. You Are All Liars Stop Saying 3:30 Is Good LMAO BYE maybe#there's stuff i wanna doodle with you guys. after i do some coms first lol...#im almost done with one so yay but anyway. bye <3
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Deserve Better
Prompt: After a shitty breakup, involving a douchebag of an ex, who makes you realize he never loved you to begin with. You went to your best friends for comfort, but instead of telling you “you deserve better”, they show you the best you deserve.
Word count: 1786
Tags: FLUFF, a tablespoon of Angst, hurt and comfort, Gojo and Getou being sweetest boys, satosugu established, satorugu x reader not yet, mention of: manipulation and love bombing.
Rambling: This is an extremely self-indulgence fic, heavily inspired by my shitty ex lmao. I just wanna be sandwich between Gojo and Getou to comfort my angry heart :((. This is a mini series, I wanna able to make this series to be compose of a bunch of stand-alone fics that merge together. This is my first time writing after a long while so…
//////
“He was a pathetic liar!” you shout as soon as Suguru opens the door. Tears are streaming down your faces and you can’t seem to make them stop. The sight of your face full of anger and sorrow quite nearly broke Suguru’s heart. Oh, how he wished he could erase your pain. Not make your pain go away, no, he wanted to erase it from your life completely.
Satoru walks toward the door after hearing the loud commotion, “what did he do this time?” he said knowing exactly who was responsible for your tears. With all honesty, Satoru is only asking for your sake, if he could have it his way, violence is always the answer.
Satoru and Suguru are used to this, it’s been 2 years of this clockwork. Ever Since you start dating your pathetic boyfriend, Anthon, it been a cycle of you venting to them about your relationship problem, them telling you to break up with the fucker, and you “work it out” with the douchebag, who can only tell lies and empty promises, the next day and all is good for about 1 month. It’s the same cycle of them clearly seeing that you are being manipulated, yet unable to do anything. But then again, what can they do? They’re only your friends, nothing more even if they want to be more, and as friends, the only thing they can do is be there for you.
Anthon was your first love, your glasses were not tinted, it was dyed rose-pink. You loved him with everything you got, always there to support him mentally, emotionally, and even sometimes financially. In return, he would love-bomb you with constant, nonstop, overly cheesy affectionate words. He also made a lot of promises to you: of marriage, of spoiling you, of being a better man for you, of being faithful to you; all of which are empty and meaningless in hindsight. They’re so meaningless in fact that it led you to break-up with him 2 weeks ago.
You were tired of his empty words, so you laid down your boundary, you told him you would never want to marry someone who refuses to find a job to support themselves. His answer? “Why can’t you be nicer about these things? Your words cut deep”. Anthon was a man of nothing, he had nothing but his words, and even then he couldn't even keep them. But you loved him, so you put it all aside, all his actions, all his shortcomings, his unwillingness to change for himself; you put it all aside and waited with baited breath, surely, surely…. Surely he’ll do as he said. He never did.
“Come in first, the night is cold, I don’t want you to get sick” Suguru ushers you through the door and into their apartment. As Suguru guided you toward their living room, Satoru went into the kitchen to grab some tissues, water, and something for you to eat your feelings away.
As soon as your body touched the soft velvet material of their couch, you crumbled into Suguru’s arms. He pulls you in closer to his body as yours shakes and heaves, you two sit like that for what feels like an eternity as you let the tears that carry your pain and sorrows fall from your eyes. Your hands balls up Suguru’s shirt as you cry in his embrace, you try to control your sob but it only makes your body shakes harder, almost hyperventilating.
“Shhhh, take your time, let it out. I’m here… we’re here… we’re not goin’ anywhere”
“He said he loves me! He said he wanted to marry me! And not even 2 weeks after our breakup, he’s getting his dick wet and telling another girl he loves her!” you choked out in anguish, still in denial that any of this is real.
“How did you find out about that?” Satoru asked, carrying a tray full of food; after hearing your sobs, he decided that a few snacks wasn’t going to cut it.
“Because the fucker doesn’t even have the decency to keep it private, he been posting her all over his social media!” you swipe out your phone in frustration, pulling up Anthon’s account to show your two best friends the picture of your ex and the girl sitting on his lap, kissing.
They both make a face when you show them the picture, “gross” they said in unison as Satoru places the tray on the table and sits down on your other side.
“I’m just so angry, I can’t believe I wasted 2 years loving someone who never was truthful to me! How can I be so stupid?” your tears are boiling hot, they feel like acid on your skin.
“Hey, hey, look at me, you’re not stupid for simply loving someone.” Satoru cups your face with his hands, nudging you to face him, his thumbs gently wiping away your tears. You close your eyes and feel the warmth of his hands. It’s comforting to be held so gently.
“That’s right, don’t shame yourself for being strong enough to love someone with all you got. That’s a strength, not a weakness.” Suguru agrees, pulling a couple of tissues from the box and handing it to you.
You take the tissues from him to wipe away the tears and blow your nose, it was getting a little hard to breathe from crying, “Thank you… It just hurt realizing that even though I loved him, he never loved me; at least, I don’t think someone who loves me would go out of their way to hurt me like this. Him posting her and rubbing it in my face not even 2 weeks later makes me feel like… I just wasn't worth loving…”
“You’re right, someone that loves you wouldn’t hurt you like he did. But that doesn’t mean you’re unlovable. To us, you’re worth all the love this world has to offer…” Suguru whispers, placing his hand on your shoulder, and he means it. God, does he mean it. Satoru can see it in his partner’s eyes, the same feelings he has.
Satoru and Suguru have loved each other deeply since they were kids, but they always feel something is missing in their relationship. When you walt into their life when they were 15 through the door call “physic group project”, they thought something was wrong with them. They still very clearly love each other, their love is still burning, but their hearts forget how to beat when you smile at them.
How can they not fall for you? You’re kind, so kind you would push aside your shyness and discomfort to help those that need it. You’re intelligent, you quite literally carried them through that physics group project. And dear god, the way you just fit perfectly into their dynamic makes them realize very quickly that they desperately want you to be a part of their life. So desperately, they couldn’t bring themselves to tell you about their feelings in fear of scaring you away from them forever.
“Tell you what? Let’s watch some true crime documentary that you like so much since you’re secretly a sociopath, maybe they’ll give you the inspiration of what to do for revenge?” Satoru said with a smirk.
“If inspiration striked you, we’ll be your executioners.” Suguru added, smiling in relief seeing that you're feeling better after letting it all out. You let out a small giggle and nod.
Satoru turns on the TV and searches for “Unsolved” while Suguru goes to grab the three of you a blanket. When Suguru comes back with the blanket, you get comfortable cuddling between the two of them on the couch. Between Satoru’s jokes about how if he was the detective case wouldn’t have gone cold, and Suguru’s soft chuckles of ‘sure babe’ at his boyfriend’s comment,you start to feel a lot better.
You have always felt the most at home with them. It felt natural to be with them, Satoru’s humor brings laughter into your day, Suguru’s gentleness makes you feel safe. They ground you. You’re starting to wonder why you were even with the dirtbag when you have best friends who show you how you should be treated. But before you can think more on that, drowsiness takes over you.
It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep. With how hard you were crying and the emotional turmoil you experienced, it would be more surprising if you stayed awake. Satoru looks over to the sight of your sleeping face. He squeezed Suguru’s hand he been holding behind you on the headrest of the couch.
Suguru looks over at Satoru and notices where his gaze was directed at. “I don’t want to see her like that again. She deserves all the sunshines life has got to offer, not heartbreak” Satoru whispered softly.
“Do… you think⸻” Suguru started
“Yeah.”
It’s a silent agreement between them. They’re done with watching you on the sideline. They’re done with seeing you in pain. They don’t want to be afraid of losing you anymore if it means they have to leave your happiness in the hands of some other dudes that’s not them. In the hands of someone that doesn’t know how to cherish it like they do.
Suguru gives Satoru’s hand 3 long squeezes, I love you. A soft and silent affection flows between them. You always joke that they’re each other's twin flames due to how they seem to be sharing the same soul; their ideology, way of thinking, even how they feel. They’re so similar despite different personalities it’s uncanny. But they think that if they’re each other’s twin flame, then you would be their soulmate.
They let go of each other's hands so Satoru can carry you into their guest’s room. Well, they call it that but the color and decorations they have in it are all catered to your liking, plus no one beside you ever stays the night anyway.
Suguru opens the door to the room for Satoru. They laid you down and tucked you in.
Suguru went into the bathroom to get a damp face towel. He softly wipes away your streaks of tears so you can sleep comfortably without feeling the stickiness from your tears.
They closed the door as quietly as possible so they don’t wake you, not before glancing at you one last time.
Looking at each other, eyes full of love and determination, they silently vow to each other. They’re going to make you fall, sweep you right off your feet. They’ll treat you like you’re their most prized treasure. You’ll fall for them so hard, you’ll forget you’ve ever loved anyone but them.
#geto x gojo x reader#gojo x reader x geto#gojo satoru#geto suguru#getou suguru x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#satosugu x reader#gojo satoru x y/n#getou x reader#geto x reader#getou#gojo x reader#satosugu#suguru geto x reader#suguru x reader#gojo satoru fluff#gojo#getou suguru#geto suguru x reader#geto#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo fluff#geto fluff#jujutsu kaisen#gojo jujutsu kaisen#jjk geto#jujutsu geto#jjk gojo#gojo saturo
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A Not so Relaxing Break
Okay so I wanted to write for these two soooo bad. But I had to wait until I could actually see the movie lmao. Anyway the movie was incredible! Enjoyed every second. Seeing Logan officially return is just so amazing and I’m so exited because I love his character so much. Also, I’m thinking of maybe doing a part two for this fix because I really wanted to write lee!Wade but got tired lol. Anyway please enjoy this fic!
Warnings: Lots of cussing, and some crude jokes (this is a Deadpool fanfic)
Summery: Logan just cant seem to catch a break with Wade
Logan sighed as he rubbed his eyes a bit. The fire was heating him up nicely, but it made him a bit sleepy. Wade sat next to him him, mesmerized by the flames.
“Yknow peanut… I’m only saying this because I’m getting a more intimate vibe right now, but I would love to fuck you right here right now if we had a softer surface.”
Logan just stared deadpannedly at the fire. He was slowly becoming more accustomed to Wades shenanigans and jokes.
“Does everything with you have to be perverted?” He asked wearily.
Wade grinned. “Yup. It’s kind of important to my character.”
Logan was about to tell him how that wasn’t something to be proud of, but thought better of It. He wasn’t about to entertain his nonsense more.
Wade sighed. “Man I am bored. I feel like we’ve been here for hours.”
Logan raised an eyebrow. “It’s only been ten minutes.”
Wade scoffed playfully. “And how would you know genius?”
Logan rolled his eyes. “It’s a rough estimate, dipshit.”
Wade scoffed again, this time in mock offense. “How dare you! I’ll have you know that I am a proud dipshit! At least I don’t have the fattest stick up my ass like a fucking human puppet. I’m trying so hard to pull it out of you but goddamnit, you’re a fighter.”
Suddenly after that, there was a sudden noise. A small coughing, snorty type noise. Wade looked at Logan, a bit surprised. No fucking way…
“Hold on… you almost laughed… you thought that was funny…” Wade said, slowly smiling under his mask. It was a statement of realization.
Logan quickly frowned, clearing his throat again and dragging his hand down his mouth, and shrugged. “Uh. No… no I didn’t...”
Wade wasn’t about to let this go. “No… no no no… you think I’m funny… you laughed… you liked that joke…” his grin only widened under his mask.
“Look, I didn’t laugh. I… had an itch in my throat…”
“Oh you fucking liar!” Wade said with a chuckle. His finger poking out towards Logan.
Logan stiffened up and pushed at his hand.
“Stop it…” Logan growled tensely.
“I don’t believe it! My favorite little power bottom is finally gaining a sense of humor! Good for you!”
Logan rolled his eyes. “Shut up already.”
Wade only took that as an invitation to keep going.
“Come on… just admit I’m funny…” he said, trying to poke at his side. Logan tensed up more and growled slightly, trying to swat Wades hand away.
“N-never… in a m-million… years…” he managed out through clenched teeth, trying to push at Wades hands.
“What’s this…? Am I making you… tense~?” The merc with a mouth grinned. He poked more as Logan tried to push him off.
Suddenly he jabbed his lower ribs, and the Wolverine let out a yelp.
Wade grinned more. “I don’t believe it. The Wolverine is not only gaining a sense of humor, but he’s ticklish too? Incredible.”
“Stay the fuck away from me you pervert.”Logan glared.
Suddenly Wade had tackled him to the ground of the forest. Making sure it was sudden enough that Logan wouldn’t have the time to react. He immediately attacked the man’s sides.
Logan sucked in a sharp inhale, trying to hold in laughter.
“Come on Wolvie-Wolvie~ Even depressing and tragic grumps like you are allowed to laugh~” Wade grinned as he scratched his fingers up his yellow suited friends ribs.
Logan could only squirm and push against him, but it was no use.
“D-Damn… y-you… AH! Fuhuhuhuck!!!” Logan cried out with new released laughter when Wade found his stomach, digging in gently.
Wade tisked and mockingly shook his head. “Language you bad wolf cub. Does daddy wolf need to punish you?"
"F-Fuhuhuck y-yohohohhuuu!!!" Logan protested in his laughter, squirming and kicking under him.
Wade laughed and continued his relentless attack. “Oh this is just amazing!”
Logan finally managed to lift his hands and unleashed his adamantium claws, swinging them towards Wade.
“Oops…! Play nice now…” Wade grinned more and grabbed his wrists. He crossed them as if they were square hand bag handles above his head. Logan almost broke free from the grip, but the poor mutant weakened when Wade began to use his free hand, and gently scratch at his now vulnerable ribs.
Logan arched his back slightly. He tried to hold it in, but failed as low and wheezy laughter escaped.
“Ohohoho shihihihihittt ahahahaha Whahahahade yohohohohu ahahahasshohohole!!!” Logan cried out, trying to sound angry. However it’s hard for one to sound angry when helplessly laughing against their will.
Wade just grinned at the sight. “This is amazing. To think that the cool tough and strong Wolverine could be weakened by just a few fingers? Never would I have believed it.”
He went down to his lower ribs next, this time going just behind his side, right at the back corner of his lowest rib, and Logan let out a loud strained noise, which sounded awfully like a half restrained squeal.
“Holy fuck it just gets better. Did you just squeal? Is this your weak spot Wolvie?” Wade grinned, cooing at the poor adamantium built man as he gently dug more into the spot.
“Y-YOHOhOhuhuh FUHUhUhcKIHIhING DIhIHIHCK STOHOHOHPP!!!”
He arched his back a bit as Wade poked around the spot.
At this point Logan’s face was bright red. His eyes watering a bit from the laughter. When Wade started deeply massaging into the spot he let out a peal of cackles, tea kettle wheezing.
Wade realized maybe this was a bit too much. Maybe he deserved a break.
He slowly stopped, getting off of him as the yellow suited mans laughter died down a bit. Logan lay there, panting heavily and trying to catch his breath.
Wade grinned at the mess he made of him. “Sorry. I can be a little rough. Want some after ca- GYAH!” Wade cried out as Logan pounced and pinned him firmly down, growling a bit at him.
Wade looked at him nervously. “C-can… we talk about this? I mean… you… you wouldn’t resort to something so childish right…?”
Silence. Then…
“Screw you, dipshit.”
And before he knew it, Wade was thrown into hysterical laughter and squirming wildly as the Wolverine started clawing at any spot he can reach.
#sprite🥤#tickling#tickle fic#sfw tickle blog#sfw tickling community#x men#wolverine#logan wolverine#logan howlett#deadpool#wade wilson#deadpool and wolverine#ticklish!logan#lee!Logan#ler!Wade#lee!Wade#ler!Logan#logan x wade#sfw tickle fluff#sfw fic#sfw twords#sfw tickle fic
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Oh yeah? 😭
Just go ahead and stomp all over my heart and hopes and dreams you big fat liar face
I saw the way you were looking at MC
You can't hide your stupid lovesick puppy eyes from me you blushing fishy man. That's not the face of someone who isn't smitten with the person in front of him 😏
Also I just need to talk about the fact that MC tells him "oh yeah if humans found out you were Lemurian they'd lock you up and make you cry pearls forever"
So what does this dorkass do?
Walks in to a human festival, declares himself a Lemurian in front of a group of kids (you know, those tiny people who are notorious for being really good at keeping secrets) and then proceeds to tell them all of the standard tales of said lemurians like their of tears of pearls and siren songs etc.
Rafayel is a menace. To himself and his people lmao. I love him. I absolutely, with my whole being, love him.
#lnds spoilers#help ive fallen into Lemuria and i cant get up#jk leave me here i want to die here#lnds#love and deepspace#lads#l&ds#love & deepspace#rafayel#god of the tides rafayel#rafayel love and deepspace
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𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐇 𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐋: 𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐌𝐀𝐍 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑
summary: 18.1k words — you and the rest of your friend group experience all the changes and activities that high school has to offer.
notes: so during the making of this chapter, i put up a poll where i left it up to my little liars (you guys) on what colour the school should be. as much as i absolutely HATED that the majority of you picked blue over red (i'm still salty about it) i'm glad 132 of you actually participated in the vote. now enjoy this monstrosity.
tw: swearing, mention of dicks, mention of suicide in a metaphor, and that's probably it lmao
i do not own any of the characters of jjk, i only own the character of y/n and her mother. the other characters belong to gege akutami.
previous chapter :)
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.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・
2017-2018 freshman year
"i don't like this."
"nobody cares, porcupine."
the two of you were currently sat in satoru's — correction: mr gojo's — office at school. it was orientation week and both you and megumi had collected your ID cards and your locker numbers. you were yet to receive your timetable for the coming year, but you were certain that they'd hand it to you some time this week, seeing as freshman year officially started in the coming week.
megumi had put up a pretty stubborn front when it came to admiring the larger corridors and the midnight blue lockers littered around the entire school (which was pretty massive, you had to note). you imagined that it would be terribly easy to get lost in, with the corridors no longer as narrow as the ones back in your middle school and with several other buildings attached to the main one in order to make room for specific departments for specific subjects. currently, you found yourself in the science department, satoru's — mr gojo's — expertise, fiddling with the new keys you'd have to take extra care of.
you'd read about jujutsu high all over the internet (and heard quite a lot about it from satoru himself). apparently, he, ieiri, and suguru attended here back in their youth. the pictures you'd seen in his camera roll, and on several polaroids, indicated that it had been a really good time ("the best time of my life," satoru would never fail to remind you). changing schools for the third time had become much easier knowing that you might experience everything that they did. it also didn't hurt that high school lasted for four long years. there were plenty of things you could do to make tons of memories in that time, especially due to the fact that yuji and nobara had both found seats in jujutsu high too.
sato— mr gojo's office was pretty decent. the walls around you were littered with several display boards showcasing a bunch of his students' work and diagrams of subcellular structures. he clearly took pride in his teaching, even if he randomly spurts out that he'd rather have their yearbook pictures up instead. apparently they had been horrendous, but a good laugh all the same. though, you'd hate to think what this man would do after you and megumi left the school. probably put up our identification pictures, you thought with a grimace.
"so," he'd said, leaning back in his spinning chair with a grin, "you nervous?"
as megumi eyed the display boards with a look of concentration you'd only seen on him when he would read the questions presented to him in an exam, you answered cheerfully.
"excited, mainly." you were seated on the chair opposite your future teacher. "but megumi was throwing a fit about it on the way here —"
"i was not," he harshly interrupted you. you did not have to look over your shoulder to tell that he was glaring at the back of your head.
sa— mr gojo paid his reaction no mind, only continued to tease him as though he hadn't spoken at all.
"i can tell! you look kinda roughed up, kid," he said, and you nearly laughed when megumi patted down his haywire hair as if it were a new thing for it to be standing on different ends. mr gojo merely flashed him a toothy smile. "i mean, that picture on your ID card —"
"that wasn't my fault," megumi snapped coldly, fiddling with his lanyard that was falling out of the pocket of his pants. "the lady kept telling me to smile."
you perked up excitedly. "but get this: he told her that is him smiling."
the picture itself was megumi being typical megumi, a bored expression that could very well be mistaken for anger. you'd never let him hear the end of it. mr gojo threw his head back and laughed.
"i'm leaving —"
"okay, okay, we're sorry!" you said hurriedly, sitting up in your chair because slouching meant that you wouldn't be able to turn and face your friend with urgency.
megumi glowered at you, but did not leave. you took that as a win as he came to stand behind you, eyes narrowed at s— mr gojo.
"i hope we get ieiri as our teacher," he grumbled, because apparently, ieiri had also taken a job here to teach.
mr gojo, looking mildly offended, simply laughed his statement off, tilting his head forward to present his weirdly-blue eyes to the two of you behind his sunglasses. you wished someone would get this man brown contacts.
"keep an eye out for your timetables, yeah?" he responded, his tone all too teasing.
you did not mind having mr gojo as a teacher, to be perfectly honest. as annoying as he could be, he was extremely laidback and matched your humour in ways many adults could not. megumi might hate him, but you supposed that it was only because you and mr gojo would team up to make fun of him, no matter the situation. there were, however, instances where you thought megumi didn't actually hate him. not really, at least. but that was a story for another time.
sitting up straight, your back to the head of the chair, you tilted your head slightly. "wait... did you do something so that we'd be the unlucky few to have you as our teacher?"
mr gojo's lips pursed. if it hadn't been for his sunglasses, you supposed that his eyes were probably wide enough to give you a shock wave and send you straight to a hospital bed.
"why would you be unlucky to have me as your teacher?" he demanded, clearly offended.
mr gojo had always put himself on this pedestal where nobody could ever find him anything but endearing. in short, he truly believed that he was above everyone and that if you have a class with him, you should be grateful, if anything.
you barely had time to respond before megumi cut in coldly:
"you'd lose your own head if it wasn't screwed on tight."
mr gojo raised a brow at him, pulling out a small mirror from his desk drawer and holding it up to take long glances at himself. "how could i ever lose such a beautiful thing?"
megumi looked as though he wanted to shatter the mirror and everything else in the room just from louring.
"you keep a mirror in your office?" you questioned, confused.
mr gojo lowered the mirror and frowned. "you don't?"
"millennials," you heard megumi sigh from behind you.
mr gojo tucked the mirror away and fiddled with the framed picture he seemed to have propped up on his desk, its back facing you. since both you and megumi had entered his office, he seemed reluctant to show it to the both of you, storing it away with a cheeky grin you felt meant trouble. even now, he seemed to be taking glances at it and chuckling to himself, as if the two of you were part of an inside joke you had no knowledge of.
with the framed picture now resting on his lap, cleanly out of your sight, he looked up at you, lazily spinning on his chair.
"are you guys taking any extra-curriculars here?" he asked, perhaps the first ever serious question he'd posed to you that day.
"no, not me," you answered truthfully. you actually hadn't even given it a slight bit of thought. "but megumi wants to take football!"
mr gojo beamed. "really?"
megumi nodded. "heard they had a good pitch and everything."
"great coach too," the white haired male added. "the old one left last year. i had to fill in for him till the new one came around. you'll like him."
in saying that, you had expected his gaze to be directed at megumi, who had shown genuine interest in the sport. however, his head had lowered ever so slightly, showing that he was looking at you instead; you, who had shown no interest in taking an extra-curricular, namely football, at all.
"were you on the football team when you were here?" asked megumi, the harsh tone he usually used with mr gojo now lowered and at ease.
mr gojo shot him a lazy grin. "nah, i did basketball."
"so why did you fill in for the football team then?"
"i'm not bad at football," he said calmly, but you already knew that seeing as the annual family football game was usually dominated by either him or toji. but for once, he didn't sound cocky about it either. "i'm really good at it, obviously. i just prefer basketball."
before either of you could respond, the door behind you opened abruptly. annoyance ran through you, swift as an arrow, for the conversation had just begun to get interesting. all three of you peered at the door, watching as a head of a blonde, stern woman popped through the gap, lips pursing at the sight of you and megumi.
"no students allowed in the teacher's lounge, mr gojo," the woman had stated icily.
you decided that whoever this karen was, you didn't like her much. she stirred up old memories of a teacher from kindergarten that you weren't too fond of, and judging by the bored look on megumi's face, you were certain that he also agreed (a rare occurrence, seeing as the two of you were usually on opposing ends of several arguments).
mr gojo didn't look too pleased at the interruption either. already slouching in his chair as it was, he barely sat up straight to respond to her.
"i'm their legal guardian," he sneered, discontent. "and this is my office."
the woman, clearly disoriented, left without another word. you let out a low whistle.
"who was that beauty?" you said, looking back at mr gojo with raised brows.
"i like to call her negative nancy," he said, before standing up and walking around his desk to gesture to the door, ushering you out. "but anyway, you should check out the football pitch! i think the new coach is out there too, it'd be good to introduce yourselves!"
you and megumi made your way over to the door, a sense of delirium washing over you. the one major thing you'd been looking forward to out of everything was the football pitch and the late night games that would take place. due to mai showing you several clips of how rowdy the games could get, you only wished that high school would come sooner in order to experience it all in real time.
as the two of you made your way down to the football pitch, passing several classrooms filled with people listening intently to an adult doing a speech, you spotted tsumiki leading a line of students down to what looked like the school library. you instinctively glanced at megumi.
"she's part of the student council," he reminded you, continuing to walk past the library and then outside the building. "she has to help out with this stuff."
"ooh, maybe i could do that too," you commented determinedly.
megumi looked down at you, monotonous.
"you have to be elected in."
"that's no big deal!"
"no one would vote for you," he said at last, continuing to walk and not stopping even though you had, stumped and stupefied.
"that's rude, porcupine!"
he ignored you, figuring that you'd follow him eventually; you did.
it wasn't long before your constant bickering had lead you to the football pitch in no time... and it was everything you'd imagined and more.
it was like any old football field, but wider, larger, bigger: surrounding the field of grass was the running track that went round in one giant oval. behind you were the seats, benches upon benches that went higher with each step in order to make space for every viewer to sit comfortably. the field itself was adorned with several white lines, each marked with expert precision, ready and prepared for any football game that would take place. on much higher ground, behind the benches, was a wide, dark blue building, with speakers attached to the left, middle, and right sides of the roof. it was also adorned with several massive windows on the front, allowing you to see that the inside also had seats. you squinted your eyes to clear your vision a bit and found that there was a microphone for each chair.
"i was hoping for the school to be red, like the one your mom wanted us to go to," you stated, eyeing the blue on the benches with disgust.
"i like blue," megumi countered calmly.
you scowled at him. "no, red is better. who the hell made the decision to decorate it all blue?"
megumi stared off into the distance, breaking the fourth wall and peering at the people who were left the responsibility to make the choice, deadpanned.
until you broke the silence, tugging on the arm of his shirt to grab his attention.
"am i seeing things or is there someone standing over there?" you asked quietly, pointing at the figure standing in the middle of the field, unmoving.
you and megumi were on the pink track, therefore the distance between the two of you and the mysterious person in the centre of the field was great. you wouldn't be at fault for making a mistake with your presumption.
"probably the new coach," your stoic friend responded, simultaneously leering at the person.
upon further inspection, it looked to be a pretty tall man, perhaps tall enough to be at even satoru's height (and satoru was pretty damn tall, which he never let anyone forget).
"let's go," said megumi, turning away to leave the pitch.
you hadn't moved, blinking at him in confusion.
"you don't want to introduce yourself?" you questioned, addled.
megumi shook his head; you sighed exaggeratedly and pulled him in by his arm. surprisingly, you didn't need to put any extra effort in doing so: megumi put up no fight when you dragged him along.
"don't be so shy, porcupine," you said, your tone teasing because you knew pretty well that he wouldn't like it one bit. hell would freeze over before you ever neglected a single day of annoying him till he snapped. "the emo in you is showing."
"i'll hit you."
"you wouldn't," you sang, and weren't surprised when he didn't argue with you on that. "now c'mon, malakai —"
"you're really testing my patience, mermaid —"
but you'd found no time to start a brawl with him (as you usually would) at his cruel comment. instead, you stopped dead in your tracks, your arms still wrapped around one of megumi's against your torso, but your eyes were no longer focused on him. instead, you were ogling at something in front of you, namely the peculiar being that the two of you had questioned only a few minutes prior.
you felt megumi's free hand poke at your cheek.
"what's wrong with you—"
"MASAMICHI?" you yelled, uncaring of the fact that your emo friend had flinched at the sudden volume of your voice.
initially, megumi had thought your cry of the name of your former p.e teacher from middle school was a mistake. after all, there were numerous times in the long years that he'd known you where you were wrong, whether it be in an argument, a factual comment, or even your opinion on something (he held no regard for the fact that an opinion can't actually be wrong, but you were always an exception for him). however, when the figure at the centre of the field became stiff with your call, he had a pressing feeling that today must've been the night of the blue moon or something: you were actually right.
"MASAMICHI YAGA!" you repeated, louder and with less questioning in your voice.
megumi's arm had become loose in your hold, he slowly took it back, grateful for the distraction. you didn't mind.
the man had finally turned around as you hurriedly dived forward, more excitement in you at the idea that your favourite former teacher (no matter how many times he'd yelled at you) had followed you here! you had to be dreaming, there was no way this was happening.
coach yaga's appearance had changed over the years since you'd first met him. he was still as tall as ever with a muscular frame and tanned skin. though what stuck out to you the most was his hair. where it used to lie flat on his head, barely any to run his hands through, now he was sporting some that were flying up on different ends, short yet spiky. the rest of his head had remained shaved.
the final thing, along with his frame, moustache and goatee combination that had remained the same, was the tired, annoyed, and exasperated expression on his face, as if simply being in your presence was a chore.
"megumi, pinch me," you said once you'd arrived in front of your former teacher, staring up at him in awe.
"gladly," your friend had responded.
from the corner of your eye, you could see his hand flying towards yours — you slapped it away without a second thought or a single glance.
"of all the high schools you could've gone to," coach yaga sighed, staring down at you as if you were the bane of his existence (you might as well have been), "it's the one i happened to join this year."
"right?" you perked up, thrilled. "isn't that great?"
megumi thought he looked anything but thrilled. he seemed to be questioning his choice in partaking in that long process of application forms and interviews for the job here, clearly. and when megumi caught a glimpse of you, practically buzzing with excitement, it was as if all the memories of your troublesome nature had come flooding back to him in one go. he thought he understood what coach yaga was so distraught about. he thinks he might have even experienced it once or twice.
coach yaga seemed to have come to terms with it, for he let out a long, drawn out sigh and then turned to face megumi with a critical look.
"you been practicing over the summer, fushiguro?" he said, voice gruff and stern. "you once said you wanted to take football properly in high school. you haven't changed your mind, have you?"
"no."
coach yaga regarded him stoically.
"don't bother turning up to try-outs," he'd said after a few seconds of merely nodding. "you're on the team."
you felt megumi stiffen up beside you, so when you looked up at him, gauging out his expression, you were concerned to see that he'd completely frozen, and not even with a half-smile curling at his lips whenever he was secretly happy about something. megumi's face was morphed into an expression of distress, you might even say that it bordered annoyance.
you couldn't help but question why: he'd been given a free position on the football team without even having to (as a theatre kid would see it) audition for the part.
unless he was being righteous again, which always managed to irk you to a certain degree. uncle ogi called him foolish because of it, yet his mother had called him an angel.
"favouritism!" you accused, pointing at him in shock. "masamichi is doing favouritism!"
"if you don't lower your voice, girl —" your former teacher threatened, raising a fist at you, though you knew it was a completely empty threat.
ah, this was the teacher you remembered.
"...and it's coach yaga to you, for the millionth time."
"sorry, but i can't accept that," megumi had intervened (though that probably was not the right word for it, seeing as the topic was centred around him to begin with).
both your heads had turned to face him. it was, perhaps, the first time that you and coach yaga could see eye-to-eye on something: you weren't happy with megumi's refusal to the offer. you couldn't understand it.
megumi was incredibly good at football. in fact, you had so much faith in him, you were certain that even if he did take part in try-outs, he'd get in without question. you had no doubt about it. so why, you thought in your head, ready to voice it if need be, did he have to go on this whole righteous tangent if the offer could save time for both him and coach yaga?
"what the hell do you mean by that?" snapped coach yaga. "you were on my team last year, different school, but my team nonetheless. you've got a talent, i don't need to see it again to decide. you're on the team, that's final."
"you can decide after i turn up to try-outs," said megumi, clearly unmoving on his view. "it's only fair."
"fair?" sputtered coach yaga, as if he hadn't heard of the word in his entire life. you couldn't blame him, simmering in silence as you watched the interaction between them with irritation. "life's not fair, boy! you're on the team. i saw the line-up for the team last year: inumaki's on it, so you'll have a familiar face to work with."
"that doesn't matter," megumi stubbornly continued. "yuji's coming here too."
"well you can tell him he's on the team too, then," said coach yaga, also stubborn.
megumi glowered at him. "i'm not doing that —"
"then i will!" you added, pulling out your phone from the pocket of your jeans and hurriedly opening up your texts with yuji.
you could feel two holes being burned into your left cheek where megumi was glaring daggers at you, but you didn't care. you were happy for him and yuji. it was a moment to be proud of. the two were so good at the sport, that coach yaga felt the need to eliminate them from even trying out for the team, insisting that they were that talented. this, if anything, was something to celebrate. you knew that megumi would probably hold a grudge against coach yaga for the rest of his miserable life, but you were also aware of the fact that your grumpy teacher just simply would not care. so long as he has a winning team in his hands, he could not care less. that, you were grateful for.
in the end, like you had expected, megumi gave in (though not without a word; it was routine for him to complain about something) albeit reluctantly. later that day, when you met up with yuji and nobara, your pink haired friend had been as ecstatic as you, only to feel guilty at the look on megumi's face. one righteous grump was enough, how had he influenced yuji to be the same (minus the being-grumpy part)?
as the week continued to roll on — and you began to question when it was that they'd finally hand you your timetables — all four of you had found yourselves sitting around a table at the school, your first official day as a high schooler, excited...
only to deflate the second you examined megumi's sheet, eyes darting left and right, up and down, just to go on repeat.
"megumi!" you gasped, feeling more disappointed than angry.
the only classes that you shared with megumi, out of the nine that you were in, were chemistry, biology, and math. you didn't even share the same homeroom, and aside from the three mentioned, the only time you would be able to see him again would be during study-hall and lunch, all of which were not nearly long enough to compensate for the time lost with each other.
eyes bulging out of their sockets, when you'd darted them to ogle at your dear friend, you thought he seemed to be thinking the same thing. megumi never usually smiled, so it wasn't a shock when his lips pressed themselves into a thin line, but you could differentiate each and every one of his expressions as if they were your own, and megumi (though he'd never admit it) was not pleased with the arrangement of each of your timetables.
at all.
"this is all your fault," you said, shaking his timetable aggressively. he snatched it out of your hands with a look of irritation. you let him. "what did you have to go and pick business for?"
he glowered at you. "can you imagine me on stage doing performing arts?"
"of course i can!" you snapped, waving a hand dismissively. "i literally edited you on a stage once, don't you remember —"
"you did?" yuji perked up, to megumi's annoyance. "show it to us!"
"yeah, let's see!" added nobara, extending her arm across the table and making a 'hand it over' motion.
"let's not see," megumi interrupted icily, slapping nobara's hand away with enough force, the sound reverberated around the hall; nobara hadn't taken that lightly either, kicking him under the table with an expression of pain and vexation.
you ignored them all, staring down at his timetable, which you'd swiftly swiped off the table again, with confusion. how was it possible that you only shared three classes with him? it seemed that these classes were based off of the end of year exams from middle school, and megumi was at the top of the class for everything, to no one's surprise. but so were you, except for math. last year, the only reason you passed with flying colours was because of megumi, because even though he'd made rude and judgemental comments when tutoring you, he actually happened to be a very good teacher.
the thought did not compute to you. when you'd compared your timetables with yuji and nobara's, you'd been over the moon at the fact that you shared several classes with them, whether it be individually or as a group. it wasn't mentioned enough (mainly because you were quite careless about it) but you had done just as well as megumi in the exams for every other subject, so why were you in only three classes with him?
clearly you'd committed a terrible crime in your past life to be punished with such a sentence. who else will blame megumi for the funny writing on the board the second everyone enters the class? who, other than you, will frame him for the aeroplanes thrown at that one kid you despised for being so cruel for no apparent reason? who, but you, will provoke him enough to start a dictionary fight from two opposite ends of the classroom simply because his angry face was belly-ache-laughter inducing?
from the looks of it, it seemed that you'd have to pass the torch on to yuji. you did always think he would be your replacement... ever since you first met the annoyance.
"this isn't fair," you sighed.
megumi agreed, shaking his head, monotoned and bored. "yeah it's just not fair."
"anyway, megumi might physically abuse me if i show it to you guys right now," you said, changing the subject begrudgingly, only to smile just as soon as a lightbulb flicked on over your head. "but satoru has a ton of pictures of him from our christmas play back in elementary school!"
you did not have to glance at megumi to know that he was scowling (what was new?). yuji beamed at your statement, eyes sparkling with curiosity that was certainly not mild enough to restrain him from demanding that you send every single one of those images to him.
"did you play baby jesus?" he asked loudly, smiling from ear-to-ear as he awaited megumi's response.
"you're intellectually challenged," your dark haired friend snapped, visibly irked at the way you and nobara laughed at the thought of little megumi, ever the grumpy one, playing baby jesus. "how the hell would anyone play a new born?"
"just... wrap them in a towel or something," yuji suggested, though he sounded less passionate now that megumi had set the record straight. if it wasn't yuji, you might have actually felt bad.
"so what did you play then?" nobara swiftly questioned. "the shepherds?"
"maybe he played the livestock!" yuji perked up excitedly, turning to you for confirmation. he seemd to have effectively recovered from the disheartening moment of being told he wasn't very clever. "he's always loved animals, right?"
megumi let out an exhale of disbelief. "the hell makes you think i wanted to be one?"
"wouldn't put it past you," scoffed nobara. "didn't you try and stay at the zoo when your family went to visit, like, a decade ago?"
surprised at the prospect of megumi's head remaining in tact with his neck due to how fast he'd snapped it round to face you in apparent annoyance, you did not meet his gaze, resting your chin on your hands held up by the table, still examining his timetable that you hadn't returned.
"why'd you tell her?" he questioned, when it became crystal clear that you had no intention of voicing the elephant in the room.
"it was supposed to be a secret?" you replied, looking up at him with faux innocence. but megumi knew you, and he knew you very well; well enough to tell that you had done this on purpose. if there was one thing you were an expert in, it was trying your absolute best in annoying, shaming, and angering megumi fushiguro.
and he hated it.
how it worked, mostly, but he hated it all the same.
"uncle ogi said we couldn't tell anyone," he reminded you, firm and very visibly offended.
you grinned at him. "what, because of the reputation of the zenin family?" you continued before he could answer. "well guess what, porcupine? i'm not a zenin."
"and neither am i," he stated, the frown on his face deepening with each passing second.
"by name, maybe not. you're literally toji's son —"
"i would've found out anyway," nobara intervened confidently. she twirled a piece of her short hair around her finger mindlessly. "you ended up on national television —"
"national television?" yuji repeated, his voice raising several octaves. you expected him to look a bit more impressed, but your pink-haired friend merely pouted at the three of you. "why am i being segregated? what happened on national tv?"
that particular day had been very hectic. a visit to the zoo with the rest of the family (along with suguru and his two girls, mimiko and nanako), was meant to be how any other family would act, admiring the animals and walking in sync with one another... only for it to turn into absolute chaos when little megumi had ended up in the gorilla enclosure and decided that he wanted to live there.
you never let him live that one down.
"megumi became one with the gorillas —"
"did you tell them about your interest in the aquarium?" he cut through your statement coldly.
your eyes widened, gawking at him in something in between disbelief and complete annoyance. if there was one thing megumi knew embarrassed you (and you don't tend to get embarrassed by much) it was the mermaid lie you'd made years ago.
"i was interested in the sharks," you explained, growing more and more agitated with the way megumi's face became more and more dismissive, as if you were lying. "they were scary but i liked it —"
"makes sense," he interrupted again, "they're a danger to your species."
you could see yuji laughing; the knife lodged itself deep in your heart. you could see nobara holding hers in; you felt the knife twist in its place.
the irritating part of it all was the fact that your dark-haired, cruel friend deserved credit for that one. it was good, and if it hadn't been directed at you, you might have even voiced how impressed you were.
"okay i'll give you that one," you said, turning away with your nose in the air. "it was good, you got me there. but only this time, porcupine."
you hoped and prayed that yuji and nobara would forget this moment: it happened to be the only time your constant teasing came back to bite you right in the ass. you wondered to yourself how many times the four of you could sit like this together, pester megumi because it happened to be something you, yuji and nobara all had in common, a habit you did not believe would ever break for as long as you lived on this great, green earth. from the looks of your timetables, there weren't many classes where the four of you would be in altogether, only a the three that had been previously mentioned: chemistry with ieiri (who you'll now have to refer to as miss shoko), biology with satoru (who you'll now have to refer to as mr gojo) and one of the teachers you'd never met here, math, with mr kento nanami.
he sounded strict.
you didn't like strict.
but you also could have sworn that the name sounded familiar.
you happened to be correct, and you'd found that out in one of your first lessons with mr kento nanami:
he was a tall man, with blonde hair that had been styled in a neat side part. his cheeks were hollow, making the cheekbones on his face seem more prominent and emphasised. he didn't smile, not even during the first lesson, which had mainly been an introduction, and he spoke very formally, like a business man. you had learned that the business attire (the suit, tie, formal pants and pointy shoes) had not been a one-off dress code for him. after attending several of his lessons, getting to know him better, you'd found that this was an everyday fit for him.
that tie was a bit weird though, and mr nanami was anything but weird.
so you'd been correct in assuming that his name sounded familiar. he was just a year younger than satoru, suguru and ieiri, a mutual friend (though he did seem adamant that satoru and him were most definitely not friends, no matter how many times the white-haired beanstalk declared that they were).
mr kento nanami was a funny man, you'd decided. strict, firm, and constantly exasperated, but funny nonetheless. without even trying, that is. you liked his lessons very much. the one thing that you didn't like, however, was the learning part of it — math was not your strong suit. that had been established years ago when you first started learning it, but it only became more emphasised in his classes.
"i can't do it," you declared out loud, using an eraser to erase yet another one of your miscalculations. "this is too hard —"
"you can do it," said kento nanami, who had made you sit right across from his desk because you seemed to need the most help out of everyone in the class. it turned out, this very class had been one of the top sets. it was a miracle you'd been placed there, let alone managed to stay there. though, arguably, you had been moved down several times, only for you to fail even more because apparently, only kento nanami's teachings stuck in your head, even if it was a struggle.
"i can't," you sighed, rubbing your temples, feeling a headache starting to form. whoever created math was going to wish they hadn't. "i'm going to die —"
kento nanami pinched the bridge of his nose: he didn't like it when you became dramatic.
"you're not going to —"
"yes i am."
"you cannot expect to do even remotely well with that attitude," he said, completely disregarding your dramatic comment. "the last exam you completed —"
you grimaced. "don't remind me! even yuji did better than me... and he never studies!"
"i do study!" the pink-haired idiot lied from somewhere behind you.
you knew he never studied. in fact, one time, when you spent most of the day at nobara's, her grandmother had forced you to sit and work through multiple equations, meanwhile yuji spent the day teaching football to the neighbours' kids. you knew — you watched him enjoy himself through the window.
"you can't believe him kento, he's lying to you to impress you —"
"i have half a mind to believe him simply out of spite," kento firmly told you, and there was a tick in his jaw. "for the millionth time, y/n, you will refer to me as mr nanami."
there was a habit that you'd adopted, which applied to teachers you really liked, but not limited to teachers you really hated. it was something that had always existed, calling teachers by their first names rather than their last names, if only to show them that they were your friends (or you simply had no respect for them if they were seen as your foe). masamichi, kento, satoru, ieiri, are candidates you liked very much. other teachers... not so much.
"mr kento nanami —"
"mr nanami," he repeated, stoic and stubborn. "as i was saying, the last exam you completed was notably better than the one prior. that shows improvement."
you stared at him, deadpanned. "i was only two points higher."
"any improvement is improvement."
you never considered yourself a pessimist. in fact, you always looked at the brighter side of things when no one else would. but with math, it almost felt like you would become a whole different person, and the last person you wanted to be like was emo, depressed, careless megumi. the thought sent a shiver down your spine.
"this is too hard," you sighed, placing your pencil down on the table with a look of defeat. "just bury me already —"
kento gave you a long and hard look, his expression stern and brows furrowed to the point where a deep line had been formed between them. he looked at you... perhaps not at you, maybe something or someone behind you, as his eyes fell over your shoulder meeting someone else's.
you would soon find out that it had been megumi.
as if they'd created their own form of communication through the eyes itself, you found yourself sitting by megumi's desk now, his judgemental and critical look only serving to offend you.
"i'm helping you —"
"you literally called me dumb," you scoffed, brow raised in scepticism.
megumi's eyes grew half-lidded, apparently bored with your accusation. "no i never."
"yes you did," you said firmly. "you said i'm as 'sharp as a marble'."
the offender simply raised his own brow at you in apparent confusion, as if to say 'and?'.
"marbles aren't sharp!" you snapped angrily, taking everyone around you by surprise at the sudden volume of your voice.
megumi ran a hand through his hair, dragged it down his face, and let out a small groan, muffled so as to not distract the rest of the class any further. he did not seem impressed, but you didn't care. the audacity he had to call you dumb when his teaching was clearly not working spoke volumes for you.
you leaned back in your chair, arms folded over your chest, reluctantly sliding your completed work across from you and over to him.
"mark my work," you demanded, with every intent to make it sound as bossy as you could.
he glared at you, but did not oppose, picking his pen up and going through the questions with you with a look of deep concentration. at times, he would scratch the back of his neck, rub his brow, grasp his chin, shake his head, and you had no idea what any of those actions meant (probably that you got every question wrong, again).
only for you to be completely stumped when he looked up and met your eyes once more, no longer sporting the look of exhaustion, but one of pride.
at least, you thought it was pride. all of megumi's expressions tended to be the same: his mouth a straight line, his eyes half-lidded, his brows unmoving, etc. though with time, you had managed to dissect each and every one and figure out whether he was happy, or sad, or angry, and so on. right now, you thought he looked impressed. you knew for sure that he didn't seem annoyed with you — that was usually his default, too!
cautiously and gradually, you leaned over and pulled the sheet towards yourself, eyes darting up and down before finding the final mark:
7/10 - good.
beaming, you met his eyes with a toothy smile, brows raised in pleasant shock.
"i'm so smart!" you declared, confidently and immensely proud.
he let out a long exhale through his nose. "why did you have to go and ruin it?"
you ignored him, snatching the paper and rushing over to kento's desk, taking enough care to slide in between the discarded chairs and tables people are sitting at, and swiping yuji's pencil case off the table just for the fun of it. at his wail of despair, you merely responded with a quiet 'oops' knowing quite well that your actions had been very much intentional.
you did nearly slip on one of the stray pencils that had rolled out of his discarded pencil case, to your doom, but politely flipped yuji off when he laughed 'karma'.
by the desk, on kento's chair, sat a baffled nobara, her eyes drooping and her soft, short hair dishevelled through, no doubt, constantly running her hands through it in obvious exhaustion. like you, math was not her strong spot. also like you, she looked ready to absolutely throttle whoever decided to add letters to numbers and make it part of the compulsory curriculum.
kento himself stood opposite her, bent forward and holding himself up with his hands on the desk, pointing at the numerous equations on her own paper, and giving her extra guidance and clarification on them.
"do you understand it now?" your teacher asked her, looking down, sombre yet patient.
her hands were hidden somewhere beneath her hair, holding her head up as she stared grimly down at her own messy work, slowly nodding.
"yeah... but i'm going to torture, and murder, and torture —"
"— the guy that created math," kento finished off, looking slightly tense as he stood up to his full height, straightening himself seriously, "i've heard it, nobara." he looked over his shoulder and noticed you standing excitedly behind him. "what's wrong, y/n —"
"i get it now!" you informed him honestly, though you could tell the enthusiasm in your voice simply encouraged kento to feel more suspicion than anything else. "i got everything right!"
the small gasp of envy from nobara did not go unnoticed by you; kento tilted his chin downwards to take a better look at your paper, held up proudly by yourself. his narrowed eyes darted left and right, examining each question, each neat tick megumi had left behind, and finally reached the bottom of the page where your impressive score had been written in a bold red.
kento nodded at you.
"seven out of ten," he quoted, almost like a machine. "that's more than fifty percent."
"please, ken— i mean mr nanami —" you added when you'd caught sight of the pursing of his lips, "no more numbers. i've retired from being the genius i was just two minutes ago. i got everything right!"
"seven out of ten," kento repeated, voice gruff. "definitely an achievement, but not one hundred perce—"
"i'm still a genius," you interrupted, apparently choosing to select which parts of his statement you truly wanted to hear. "megumi said so —"
"no i never," your traitor of a friend had intervened from somewhere behind you.
you regarded him, boot-faced and unimpressed. he was sitting next to yuji now, finishing off his own work. but apparently, your little white lie was enough to break him out of this cycle of work, work, and more work.
"stop lying," he gracefully added.
you felt your eye twitch in indignation, turning around to face kento and plastering on a smile to mask your obvious discontent.
"he's the one lying," you whispered, though that did not stop kento from believing him over you. it became a habit over time, you'd noticed. you were still trying to figure out a way to break it.
"be more humble," grumbled nobara, still slouching on kento's chair with a permanent scowl painted over her face. "some of us are being beaten black and blue with all of this."
"i can teach you!" you offered, relishing in the smile that nobara's face had formed, extending to her eyes where the spark that usually lay there had been re-lighted.
giddy, you skipped around kento and his desk to reach nobara on the other side, ignoring his weak protests about how he wasn't sure that you were absolutely confident in your skills at the particular topic. you and nobara were in your own world, sitting on the thin arm of his spinning chair, one half of your body slumped against her side and the other hovering above her as you guided her on the questions.
it was later found that kento had been correct. helping nobara only served to take away the knowledge that your teacher had already tirelessly given her. you walked away in shame after that, completely unaware of the fact that half of the method you'd used to solve the equations out were actually correct...
and not just over fifty percent, but one hundred percent.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・
due to a series of upcoming exams, you and the rest of your little group had spent majority of your break times at study hall, looking over a bunch of your notes from social studies, to performing arts, to biology, chemistry, physics. however, the only one you had to truly focus on was math.
you slumped over your textbook, your expression a mix of frustration and defeat as you stared at the seemingly indecipherable equations before you. to you, math was a labyrinth of confusion, a tangled web of numbers and symbols that ensnared your mind with its complexity. each problem felt like a battle, with your thoughts colliding like opposing armies on a chaotic battlefield. the numbers mocked you, dancing tauntingly on the page as if daring you to unravel their secrets. it was as if you were trying to navigate through a dense fog, each step forwards only leading to a hundred steps backwards. math, to you, was a relentless adversary, an insurmountable mountain that you could never hope to conquer.
your gaze flickered over to yuji, who seemed to effortlessly breeze through the math problems with a nonchalant ease that left you envious. he was like a graceful dancer, effortlessly gliding across the stage of equations while you stumbled clumsily in the wings. each correct answer he produced felt like a dagger to your pride, a reminder of your own inadequacy in the face of his natural talent. it was as if he had been born with a mathematical compass embedded in his mind, guiding him effortlessly through the labyrinth of numbers and formulas. you couldn't help but feel like a mere spectator in the shadow of his brilliance, your own struggles magnified in comparison to his effortless mastery.
what pissed you off more was the fact that this was yuji.
yuji.
he barely studied (no matter what lies he fed to kento, your sensible math teacher). you could pass him a math paper without a warning and he would bring it back to you without a single strand of grey in the field of pink on his head.
so, naturally, whilst megumi tutored an ever-growing depressed nobara, you asked yuji to help you...
you wished you hadn't made fun of megumi's hair that morning, that way, mustering up your courage to ask him for help instead probably would have been easier.
"so first," yuji began slowly, carefully writing out the numbers over your blank sheet. and then it was as if your life went by in two times speed. "you do that, and then that, and then that."
you took a careful glance at megumi's watch. your life hadn't zoomed by that fast: yuji was just a terrible tutor.
he dropped the pencil in front of you, letting it roll right next to where your hand lay, sitting back on his seat with a happy smile on his face, as if he'd actually accomplished something.
you felt your eye twitch.
"how about i show you how i do this, and then this, and then this!" you said, each emphasised word paired with a harsh smack on yuji's head with a rolled up booklet you snatched off the table. you did not know who it belonged to, probably megumi, but you did not care.
"okay okay okay! — ow! — okay, woman!"
"is that my business booklet?" megumi icily interrupted, eyes narrowed, following each and every movement of your hand that waved it around.
you shot him a glance, mild fury smouldering in your eyes.
"no..."
megumi fixed his gaze on you, his face a mask of calm that barely hinted at the storm brewing in his head. his eyes were like twin daggers, piercing through your facade with chilling precision. a muscle in his jaw twitched slightly, the only betrayal of his controlled exterior.
"it has my name in bold," he informed you, bored.
"okay..." you said, peering down at the booklet in your hands with a masked expression. "you can have it back if you teach me how to do algebra?"
megumi's mouth set itself in a firm line, conveying a silent but unmistakable challenge. though his expression remained stoic, the intensity of his gaze was like a glacier, cold and unyielding, and also a bit tired, as though he'd expected nothing less from you. with a grin, you knew what it meant: you won.
before you could carry out your plan to throw yuji off his seat and reach megumi and nobara, an external voice jolted you out of your intense focus.
the four of you looked up, distracted: it was noritoshi kamo accompanied by chad montgomery, both of whom were part of the school's official football team alongside yuji and megumi. noritoshi (who preferred to simply go by kamo) had dark, straight hair that stopped a little further down his chin whereas chad was rather big, tall, and blonde, with a friendly face to match. it was a running joke that chad was very unlike the typical chads you'd see on tv. he was kinder, friendlier, yet still rather well-known.
"nice catch at gym today, y/n," kamo had said, barely smiling. you thought he had some sort of face freeze like megumi.
"thank you!" you beamed, turning to your friends as the two boys casually walked off. "see? people do appreciate the effort i put in at sports."
"you and nobara weren't meant to be in our class to begin with," said megumi, sliding a worksheet in your direction. you accepted it gratefully, though your attention was hardly on the paper.
"touche," nobara muttered into her own hand, her other scribbling over the doodles she'd drawn around her paper. "our class is boring."
"huh? i thought you liked coach lauren?" said yuji, visibly surprised.
you tapped the back of your pen on your worksheet impatiently.
"we do! but it's not as fun when she doesn't care about us not participating," you told him thoughtfully. "but when it's coach yaga —"
megumi scowled. "he lost his voice because of the two of you."
you mirrored his scowl. "hey, we didn't tell him to yell and chase us across the field, did we?"
"and he wouldn't have even noticed us if you hadn't ratted us out, snitch," nobara helpfully added, levelling an accusatory look at megumi while pointing the end of her pen at him.
megumi regarded you and nobara with a blank, almost bored expression. his mouth remained a straight line, devoid of any hint of emotion, as if he were staring at an unremarkable, distant horizon. the only movement was the slow blink of his eyelids, which seemed to convey a sense of enduring your antics with the patience of a stone statue.
"you guys were standing at the back and laughing at everyone," he stated.
"wrong," you hummed. "we were laughing at you."
yuji's laughter erupted, nearly causing him to topple from his chair as he doubled over, resting against the table. his whole body shook with mirth, his laughter filling the room with its infectious energy.
nobara sliced through it with unbridled ease.
"we were laughing at you too, you clown," she said, narrowing her eyes at him. "you and that todo guy being in your own little word —"
"it's not my fault!" said yuji, defensive. "he keeps following me, even when i go to megumi! he keeps saying we're brothers — i don't even know him!"
"i can't imagine you with a brother anyway," you said, barely registering yuji's alarm and stress, but it had completely disappeared at your comment, now masked over with an expression of pure confusion.
"but i do have a brother," he'd said, resulting in all three of you to look up at him with raised brows, parted mouths and narrowed eyes.
"huh?" nobara voiced, aggressive. "what do you mean? you never told us you —"
"i did!" he interrupted, eyes darting from megumi to you to nobara and then back again. "my half brother!"
"half brother?" you repeated, outraged.
you spent the next few seconds thinking deep and hard as nobara verbally assaulted him for causing the three of you such distress with such a lie, racking your brain for a time where yuji had voiced to you that he had a half brother, something that you'd been blissfully unaware of for the last four years you had known him.
"what's his name?" megumi asked, intervening loudly so that yuji would hear him over nobara's attacks.
"choso," said yuji, as though it were the most obvious and easiest thing to remember. "i told you guys!"
"so every time we watched movies at your place, how come it was only ever gramps and your parents?" you asked, notably surprised.
on the days you'd sleep over at yuji's, you'd see mr and mrs itadori, both of whom insisted you'd call them kaori and jin, as their day shifts at their respective work places would end. never once did you see another being, another male by the name choso.
"he's much older than us, so he's already got his own place to live in," yuji explained, which, as much as you hated to admit it, made sense.
the initial shock of finding out that yuji had a half brother by the name choso had worn out after the next few minutes had been spent looking at different pictures of him and his odd family. they looked nothing alike, with choso sporting dark hair styled in odd pigtails and a more mature face and yuji having pink hair (you still insisted that it wasn't natural) and a more friendly, soft face. they didn't even have the same eye colour or remotely similar features.
somehow, the conversation had spun back to yuji's alleged brother, todo:
"maki told me that when he gets to senior year, he's planning on doing it twice," said nobara, glancing between a panicked-yuji and an exasperated-megumi for confirmation.
you nodded in agreement. "yeah, toge said the same thing."
nobara grinned at yuji. "looks like you'll be dealing with him for as long as we stay here."
yuji looked like he could be physically ill.
the rest of the day had gone by with yuji making multiple attempts to persuade the three of you that him and todo were most definitely not related by any means, and he only grew more and more panicked and alarmed when nobara would make sly comments about how todo would replace megumi as yuji's best friend and run off into the distance together, to which megumi pretended not to care (but you practically spoke in megumi-facial-expressions, and could tell that he very much did).
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・
satoru's classroom was significantly larger than any of the other classes in the school. you noticed this the second you'd entered it back in september. he said it was because of the fact that he's a science teacher and therefore needs a larger room for laboratory experiments and so on, but you knew it was a lie. why did ieiri, who was also a science teacher, have a classroom slightly smaller than his?
you ran the thought in your head multiple times, before ultimately deciding that he had probably thrown a fit over it and bribed his way up that ladder. it helped that he was also filthy rich, not that anyone else needed to know that.
there were three lab tables in his room, his desk on the left of the whiteboard and projector, and the door on the right. windows surrounded two of the four walls in the room, brightening it up so much so that on the days that you were plagued with headaches, satoru's classes became dreadful (which was saying a lot, seeing as you and several others thoroughly enjoyed his lessons).
you, megumi, yuji and nobara sat on the table in the far left, closest to satoru's desk. there wasn't necessarily a seating plan, but the one time you and nobara sat on the table furthest from his desk, he did act pretty prissy about it the entire day.
"reproduction!" he said, a little too enthusiastically though knowing him, he most likely meant to. adjusting the circular glasses on his nose, he gestured to the board where a presentation of said-topic demanded each and every viewer's attention. no other topic within the subject of biology ever had this many balloon stickers or confetti gifs. "my favourite topic!"
"fuck's sake," you heard megumi mutter under his breath from across yuji, who was sitting nervously on your right.
the other boys in your class, sitting around the table in the middle and the table on the far right seemed to be getting a little too excited, in your humble opinion: sitting up straighter with ugly grins forming on their ugly faces, looking around and making cheeky eye contact with one another.
"i know a lot about that," you heard tyler jenson announce, his too-happy face only serving to irk you in ways even megumi could not. but whilst you sat there with a sour expression forming second by second, nobara (seated next to megumi) turned around and voiced your thoughts.
"and yet you've never been touched by a woman."
the classroom was then filled with muffled laughter as many hid the lower halves of their faces behind their hands, giggling and chuckling as tyler's face became more compatible to the colour of a cherry rather than the colour of the skin on his hands and arms. nobara turned back around with her lips in a straight, thin line, shaking her head due to some of the hair that had fallen over her eyes.
"mr gojo," one of tyler's minion-friends spoke up, very clearly offended. it became quite clear that tyler would not speak for himself from here on out. "aren't you going to — like — say something about that..?"
satoru raised a brow, the smile he usually adorned with pearly-white teeth non-existent, almost as if it were never there.
"no," he said, hands resting in the pockets of his pants, "because she just demolished you."
he went back to teaching as though nothing had happened.
the rest of the lesson had gone by quite well. few of tyler's minion friends had gotten the message and remained silent for the remainder of the hour, chalking it up to 'favouritism', though everyone knew otherwise. as many odd jokes that satoru had made, he did eventually teach the curriculum, even when the comments from tyler's other foolish friends had irked everyone by opening their mouths:
"okay," nodded satoru, visibly tense as he stood up and slammed his entire hand against the whiteboard so suddenly, with such aggression, the projector wobbled. "listen here! reproduction? sex? it's bad. who can tell me why?"
you looked around. everyone seemed just as startled as you. as fun as satoru's classes were, when he pulled random shit like this, you were more inclined to feel scared than enraptured. but it wasn't a class lead by satoru gojo unless satoru gojo became melodramatic at some point during it.
"no one?" he continued, head turning left and right. "megumi?"
"leave me alone."
satoru promptly turned to your other friend instead. "yuji!"
"er... because... it distracts you from school work?" yuji guessed, scratching the back of his ear, a random habit you realised he'd picked up over the last few months.
satoru nodded slowly.
"warmer..." he'd said; yuji beamed. "nobara!"
"because men don't perform —"
"no, but i should've seen that comin'," your teacher interrupted mindlessly, the smile unwavering as he turned his gaze to you. although, it was hard to tell for certain, for the silly sunglasses he wore indoors concealed his eyes. "y/n!"
"it's a sin —"
"why on earth did i ask you to begin with?" he said, turning away and shaking his head. "okay, note this down, all of you. you can die if you have sex, yeah?"
clement roy, who was seated by the middle table (also one of the smartest in the class) spoke up with a frown:
"no you can't. having intercourse isn't dangerous."
satoru did not seem impressed. he stared at clement roy with the expression a child would give to their parent over rejection of candy before dinner.
"all right smarty-pants, want to explain to the class what'll happen when you get chlamydia?" hedemanded, visibly nettled. before clement could even think of a response, the drama queen had already pressed on. "you'll die. you'll suffer in silence because you won't want to communicate to another responsible human being about how you were being irresponsible and then die because chlamydia got you."
you could drop a pin on the floor and the sound would echo around the room and bounce off of the walls with how eerily quiet it had gotten. had it not been broad daylight, you were certain the croaking of crickets would be the only thing perceived in this awkward silence.
"don't just stare at me, write it down!"
barely fifteen minutes later, satoru had gone back to behaving more positively playful than negatively dramatic.
at some point in the lesson, he'd handed out worksheets for everyone to go through and complete, filled with a series of questions based on what he managed to teach for the last thirty to forty minutes. the questions hadn't been too hard; you whizzed through them in no time. to check your answers, you stretched your body over the table and snatched megumi's paper without warning, sitting back down comfortably and ignoring his demands of handing it back.
"give it," he'd said, but the look on his face was too funny to pass up.
megumi's default expression was always that bored, grumpy look. his angry expression, however, was much more emphasised: his nose had a way of scrunching itself up the tiniest bit, his jaw became tighter, and when his brows closed in on each other, he looked as though he'd aged ten times faster. this expression was harder to catch on camera because he always managed to swipe your phone out of your hands whenever you'd reach for it, like his sixth sense was knowing just when you'd go for the kill, the oddbot. that was why it mattered a million times more when he'd look more angry than he did bored or careless.
"i have to mark my work," you told him, placing it side-by-side with your own.
"ha! thanks, megumi!" added yuji, adding his worksheet (with scribbles, writing, and more scribbles on it) next to yours and megumi's.
"you're not welcome. give it back, y/n —"
"hand it to me when you're done. think i got the last few wrong," said nobara, and without looking up, you raised your thumb, giving her your affirmative.
megumi growled. "no —"
"what're you gonna do, huh?" said nobara, poking him on the shoulder with the end of her pen. "tell mr gojo?"
"what is this, mean girls?" megumi grumbled, deadpanned. "oi, regina, give me back my sheet —"
you shook your head. yuji came to your defence:
"we're not done —"
"shut up karen."
he gasped. you probably would have laughed if you weren't so occupied with scribbling out the few answers that you'd gotten wrong (based off of megumi's own work, which tended to be correct nine times out of ten).
before you could blink, megumi's work had been swiped away from you, but not by the owner himself (you were silently surprised that he hadn't marched around the table to snag it from you by now) but by an audibly annoyed yuji, who was mumbling curses under his breath as he sketched something in the top left corner of the paper.
vexed, exasperated, and disturbed, you pinched yuji's thigh before snatching the paper back, brows furrowed and eyes narrowed. your hardened expression became less tight at the sight of the literal penis that yuji had drawn. two seconds had barely passed before you found yourself gasping for breath, hand over your mouth at a futile attempt at muffling your own laughter.
nobara perked up, interested and offended.
"hey, don't leave me out," she snapped, back straight and chin held high. "what's so funny?"
with the deliberate intention of ensuring that the sulky boy seated diagonally across from you had also seen his own paper, you lifted it and showed it to her.
"what the hell?" he demanded, making a move at swiping it out of your hands, but you were quicker, sliding it across the table to nobara instead.
megumi's face twisted in irritation as his dark eyes landed on the defaced worksheet. a faint flush spread across his pale cheeks, a rare sign of his mounting frustration. his jaw clenched, muscles tensing visibly under his skin as he took a slow, deep breath, the corners of his mouth twitching slightly, betraying the effort it took to suppress a scathing retort. he glared at yuji, his gaze as cold and hard as steel, before flicking back to the offending drawing. with a huff of exasperation, he snatched the paper back, his movements quick and brusque, clearly indicating his annoyance. for a moment, he sat still, radiating a palpable aura of vexation, before muttering under his breath and looking up at you all, clearly done with your antics.
nobara whistled lowly, a smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. "damn, who pissed in your cereal, megumi?"
"why would you do that?" megumi demanded, his voice edged with irritation as he fixed Yuji with a piercing glare, completely ignoring nobara's teasing remark.
yuji, with his arms folded over his chest with a look akin to a child after throwing a tantrum, returned megumi's glare with one of his own.
"revenge," he stated simply, his tone carrying a quiet but unmistakable resolve.
before anyone could chime in with their own thoughts, satoru materialised from behind megumi, sporting his trademark easy grin, which only widened at megumi's apparent annoyance.
"who rained on megumi's parade?" he'd asked, sounding curious yet looking devious. it wasn't a surprise to anyone that satoru enjoyed anything that made megumi unhappy (in terms of teasing, of course).
"yuji doodled a bit on his paper," you said, rolling your eyes. "now he's throwing a fit over it."
megumi shot you a sharp glare, his expression a mix of annoyance and disbelief. his eyes narrowed slightly, silently questioning your choice of words, but refrained from saying anything, opting instead to let his disapproval speak for itself.
until he couldn't.
"stop being such a grump, megumi," satoru chortled, his teasing only exacerbating the tension brewing within megumi fushiguro. "it just makes you look more like your dad, and who the hell wants to look like toji —"
"he drew a dick on my paper," megumi interjected sharply, his frustration evident in his tone, like a rope pulled taut in a tug-of-war.
satoru's laughter bubbled up, a blend of genuine surprise and amusement twinkling in his eyes as he shook his head, a grin playing on his lips. he had obviously not expected megumi’s straightforwardness and yuji’s unexpected action.
"big deal," he said, forcing himself in between nobara and megumi. "let's see de vinci's art —"
"ugh, you're squashing us!" nobara snapped, but satoru had paid no mind to her. in fact, her comment had only seemed to have encouraged him to force himself between them further, all with a knowing smile on his face.
his laughter continued to burst forth as he caught sight of the drawing, genuine amusement evident in the barely-noticeable crinkles that had formed around his eyes, his shoulders shaking slightly with suppressed mirth as he took in the absurdity of the situation. this had eventually caused him to double over, and he instinctively reached out, grabbing onto nobara's shoulder for support. his fingers gripped onto her firmly — though not aggressively — just enough to steady himself as he attempted to regain his composure.
nobara's irritation became palpable at satoru's hand that had landed on her shoulder for support. she shot him a pointed look, her body stiffening slightly as she made subtle attempts to wriggle out of his grasp.
"as wonderful as this is," he sighed, wiping an imaginary tear from his shielded eye, "i have to get rid of it."
it was, perhaps, the first time in that lesson that megumi had looked up in approval.
yuji shrugged, his tone matter-of-fact.
"i don't care, i did it to prove a point," he stated, his brows furrowing in mild annoyance.
"what point?" said nobara, apparently having given up on trying to pry satoru's hand off her shoulder. even so, she didn't look too pleased about it.
yuji shrugged, his expression easing as the tension left his jaw and his furrowed brows smoothed out. eyes widened, and his brows lifted slightly, yuji's lips parted, and his forehead smoothed itself out.
the overall expression on his face was one of genuine puzzlement.
"i... can't really remember to be honest —"
"erase it," megumi commanded, his voice tight with irritation.
"no," yuji shot back, defensive. "maybe you should learn to be more nice to me —"
"after this?" said megumi, voice sharp and cutting, brimming with barely restrained fury. "like hell."
"there's too much testosterone on this table," said nobara, eyeing your other male classmates that sat down a little further down from the four of you. "y/n and i should've sat near the door —"
"oh yeah?" began satoru, bending down slightly to level his face with hers. he did not look too pleased. "and how well did that work for you last time, huh?"
but before she could actually answer his question, he had already moved on, looking around at you, yuji and megumi, and pointing at the cursed sketch on the paper.
"i don't want to do this," he said, leaning over to grab it and slide it towards the end of the table where he stood with an eraser in his hand.
he pressed it against the drawing, letting out false sobs of despair with each swipe, loud enough to draw the attention of the rest of the class. it was ugly, drawn-out, and extremely sonorous. you regarded him with a look of disgust; megumi slouched in his seat, as though that would conceal him from the onlookers; nobara pressed a hand to her forehead, head bent and gaze averted; yuji watched satoru without shame, apparently still his biggest cheerleader.
"okay you can stop now," you added, when it became crystal clear that satoru would go on and on just for the sake of someone finally addressing his shameless acting. you would rather die than have it continue.
he grinned, radiating self-assured pride as he addressed your little group.
"now i wish i took a picture before i got rid of it," he sighed, placing the paper in front of its rightful owner.
from where you were sat, you could still see the outline of the sketch, faded yet visible. it seemed that yuji had released his anger from his hand straight to the pencil, applying enough pressure to leave a mark even when erased. if that didn't teach megumi to be more polite, you didn't know what would.
a deep voice suddenly interrupted the commotion, cutting through the conversation like a knife. the speaker's tone was unnervingly calm and composed, each word enunciated with precision and the use of complete formal english added an air of false-authority and distance, sounding almost archaic due to the lack of contractions.
all five of you turned your heads to stare at the figure hiding beneath the table surrounding the outer-edge of the classroom where multiple sinks were built in: malakai the emo, who you had first met in middle school. he just so happened to attend the same high school too. even so, the only classes that the two of you shared were satoru's biology and physics ones.
"there is a disturbance occurring on that table near the desk belonging to the teacher," he began, voice slow, almost snarling. "and i do not like it very much..."
satoru frowned, watching him with obvious exasperation. if there was one being that threw even satoru gojo, the drama queen off, it was malakai the emo (who, if anyone had forgotten, preferred to be called 'kai' and will visibly glitch if referred to as 'malakai').
"disturbances should never occur inside classrooms..."
you scoffed. "coming from the biggest attention-whore of today's history."
satoru waved a hand in your direction, a silent dismissal, one that very clearly communicated that he would handle the issue.
"and this is my class," he told the emo, raising a white brow.
"mr gojo..." malakai began, still borderline snarling, "you do not know how to manage this class very well..."
you couldn't exactly tell due to his opaque glasses, but judging from the way his brows shot up dramatically, nearly disappearing beneath his white hair, you knew that satoru's eyes widened in exaggerated shock. his mouth dropped open in a perfect 'O' of disbelief. he gasped audibly, the sound loud and theatrical. his usually playful demeanour transformed into one of theatrical indignation, his entire face a portrait of mock outrage. his head tilted back slightly, as if to better display his expression to everyone present.
"you don't even know how to stand without glitching, kid," he teased, with every intent of offending malakai. "ah-ah, not another word outta ya," he added, pointer finger raised with a smile. "i'd send you to miss shoko —"
you did not need to take a look at malakai to know that he was smiling hopefully. if there was one teacher he loved, it was ieiri, for her classroom was shielded from the light outside, and she did not have a care in the world for whatever he did.
"— but she said she'll beat my ass if i do that again. so, i'll make sure you sit on the table, kai, not under it."
context: malakai had this thing where he detested sitting in the light, hated classrooms where the blinds weren't down, and loathed anyone who wore bright colours. according to him, the 'darkness will consume him'. on the first day of high school, he'd sat underneath the sink where it was dark, tight, and cramped. when satoru made an attempt to get him to sit on the table (like everybody else) he visibly shook and caused a scene, turning animalistic over nothing.
satoru had never made another attempt since.
at some point in the year, it had come to your attention that the teachers in his other classes had forced him to sit on the tables, but not without a negotiation: he would sit on a table on his own, so long as he was at the very back of the classroom, in a secluded corner, where no visible sunlight would reach him. even then, he would glitch and tweak, but he would sit there quietly nonetheless.
there was a time where kento had to teach one of his math classes due to his regular teacher falling ill, and when you'd asked malakai about it, he'd described it as 'hell'. you could only assume that kento hadn't let him sit under a table, nor made an effort in following any negotiations.
but, surprisingly enough, malakai's grades in satoru's classes were the highest out of the rest of his classes. perhaps sitting under a table like he wants actually has its benefits.
malakai let out a loud hiss at satoru's words, as if they'd burned him to the point of no recovery.
satoru had given up.
"okay i'll risk the ass kicking, go to miss shoko."
malakai crawled out from his spot beneath the sink and sprang up, a maniacal grin plastered on his face. his arms flailed wildly, as if he had downed ten bottles of alcohol in one sitting. malakai's eyes widened, the gleam of anticipation shining through the heavy kohl lining his eyes. a wide, ecstatic grin stretched across his face, revealing a flash of his sharp canines (apparently he loved to use charcoal toothpaste). he practically bounced on his feet, his whole body vibrating with eager energy as he ran across the classroom in that weird way that he runs — body bent forward and arms extended backwards (satoru once said that he should be part of the ninjas in naruto — you couldn't get the image out of your head now).
"yes — miss shoko — and her dark, dark under-eyes —"
the rest of you watched him ninja-run out of the classroom and down the hall, his footsteps echoing and fading.
satoru adjusted the glasses on his nose with an air of quiet concern. "there is something seriously wrong with that kid."
barely five minutes had gone by before his phone vibrated in his pocket; he took it out, checked it, and then smiled up at you all.
"if i don't turn up tomorrow, it was ieiri shoko: thirty one years old, brown hair, brown eyes, about this short —"
he did show up the next day, but with a cut on his lower lip and quite the story to tell.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・
as several other paying customers walked into the quaint cafe, the bell above the door chimed softly, announcing their arrival. the interior was a charming blend of rustic and modern elements, creating an inviting atmosphere for its patrons. the space was not overly large, you'd noticed since your introduction to the place, but it was very clearly thoughtfully designed to maximize comfort, with several circular tables made of beige wood on each side of the room, all of which were adorned with fresh flowers in small vases. your favourite part, however, was the soft ambient lighting from the hanging pendant lamps that created a warm glow, casting a muted illumination all over the space.
the walls were also furnished with framed artwork and vintage posters, which you thought added some character and charm to the place. where you and megumi sat on the stools by the counter, a large chalkboard stood behind it displayed the day's menu offerings, written in elegant script with colourful chalk illustrations of pastries and beverages. the aroma of freshly brewed coffee and baked goods wafted through the air, tempting your senses and inviting customers to indulge in the cafe's delectable offerings.
you and megumi tended to avoid the place during peak time, but if you just so happened to be passing by, sometimes you'd force your way to the front to offer some help to the distressed, kind lady (also known as miss B) serving everyone. since it also happened to be local, you had become regular customers and people she looked forward to seeing during the day.
with kento's gruelling homework laid out messily over the counter before you, the gentle chatter and soft music filled the air, further distracting you from the cruel equations on the papers waiting to be solved.
while you and megumi had come here to study together, you only did so for, perhaps, twenty minutes before the laptop you'd stolen from the bakery woman working diligently behind the counter had been used for activities other than studying math. it wasn't a new occurrence: it was a daily routine to search up the reviews on the cafe (buttercup brew) and respond to any that were badmouthing miss B, the food, or the place itself since the two of you both acknowledged the fact that she was too lenient and nice to do so herself.
"'what's the opposite of delicious?'" you read out, leaning in to megumi's side to read off of the laptop that he had pulled towards himself.
megumi scoffed, his pale fingers typing away aggressively at the keyboard before him.
what's the opposite of clever? he had silently written.
your eyes widened in both surprise and delight, a bright, melodious laugh escaping your lips, eyes crinkling at the corners, sparkling with amusement. your laughter eventually subsided into soft giggles, and you looked at megumi with a twinkle in your eye.
"impressive," you praised, glancing back at the laptop, intrigued. "any more?"
megumi nodded, a carefully manicured finger gently swiping down the touchpad.
"'came in the day they were trialling savoury dishes. the food was bland. this is a bakery, stick to sweets,'" he'd read out, monotoned. "by a woman, this time."
your cheerful demeanour fades slightly as megumi read out the negative comment, brows furrowed as a small frown tugged at the corners of your lips. you pulled the laptop towards yourself, eyes narrowed in mild irritation.
"i got this one," you told him, reading as you typed. "you'd... know... all... about... bland... wouldn't you... no-season-susan?"
you hit 'enter' and smiled, self-satisfied.
but before you or megumi could voice your thoughts on your comment, the soft sound of the bell chiming behind you had the two of you turning in your stools to examine the stoic man walking into the cafe. you pinched megumi's thigh, hard enough for him to angrily slap your hand away with a low grunt. you didn't mind, smiling as you watched the aloof man with the undercut walk up to the other side of the counter and order his food.
"i want to do this one," you said, voice low so as to not attract the attention of the man. "he dressed up as levi and went to the military, asking to join the scout regiment."
megumi peered down at you, blank faced. "where the hell are you going with this?"
"he got sent home."
you watched his face carefully, noting how his eyes shifted away from yours, as if he were suppressing his emotions. you could tell he wanted to laugh; it was evident in the subtle curl of his lips and the slight tremor of his shoulders as he exhaled through his nose.
"that's not levi," he finally settled on saying, glancing at the man in question. "that's ivel."
you grinned. "close enough... i was thinking more along the lines of evil."
your usually stoic friend let out a rare chuckle. with a broad smile, you nudged his side, eager to show him that you had the unique ability to make even him laugh.
"look," you called out to miss B, preparing what looked to be black coffee for mr evil-not-levi, the strong aroma of the coffee beans wafting in the air. "porcupine's smiling! quick, take a picture!"
miss B chuckled, her brows raising so that her soft bangs fell over her closed eyes as she stirred the mixture in the cup. megumi, on the other hand, scowled, any trace of what once held a small smile eradicated.
"too late," he'd said, moving the laptop so it was in front of him instead, and holding the bottom arrow to scroll further down the website with critical eyes.
"you should just take it secretly from now on," you told miss B, watching as she handed the fake-levi his coffee and politely told him to take a seat. she now stood opposite you, smiling as she adjusted the red baker's hat resting on her head. "megumi smiling is a super rare occurrence."
"why would you say that in front of me?" said megumi, looking up and facing you with an expression of mild irritation. "defeats the purpose of secrecy."
"what are you gonna do, attack us?" you challenged, rolling your eyes. "i'll tell my dad never to bring you any of those weird artifacts that you like."
"stop lying."
"okay so maybe i wouldn't do that... but i could change my mind! so you're treading on thin ice, porcupine! i'd be really careful if i were you."
megumi's eyes grew half-lidded, his expression teetering between a scowl and a look of complete disinterest as he stared down at you.
"i'm so scared right now," he stated, the obvious sarcasm making miss B giggle at the interaction.
you had a witty response resting at the tip of your tongue, but could not execute it in time before the bell by the door had chimed again. all three of you had turned your heads so as to check who had entered. you beamed in excitement, watching as a rather beefy man waddled up to the counter to place his order.
before he had reached it, however, you glanced at miss B, lip curled in interest.
"why don't you have a go?" you asked her, sounding slightly pleading. "i promise you, it'll be fun!"
"because no matter what you say, they're paying my wages," she said calmly, though not unkindly as she prepared to walk over to the other end of the counter to take the man's order. "and it's mean!"
you pouted, looking over at megumi with slightly puckered lips and a frown.
he got the message and (as always) feigned reluctance before turning to scrutinise the stranger. you sat up straighter, a rush of excitement coursing through your veins as you awaited his theory, the disappointment that you had been feeling for all of two seconds evaporating as if it had never been there to begin with.
"he definitely had a wife and three kids with him years ago," he began leisurely, as if to build some suspense to this unconfirmed story, "but someone called cps on him because they would resemble skeletons and he'd resemble the do-the-roar-kid , but if he was older."
"he ate all their food?" you gasped, surprised at the dark turn of events.
"and their plates too."
"oh!" you nodded, focused. "so like your dad?"
the corners of his mouth turned downwards, and his eyes narrowed, darkening with annoyance.
"i'm not having this conversation with you," he stated matter-of-factly.
you smiled sheepishly. "yeah, don't tell him i said that."
"won't make any promises."
"well then i'll tell satoru that you and hana reunited at the hilltop downtown —"
"he knows you like lying."
"doesn't mean he won't tease you for it regardless."
"..."
"yeah, that's what i thoug—"
"i'll tell everyone tonight about what happened when you lied about being a mermaid —"
your embarrassment surged like a wave, your face growing uncomfortably warm. you felt the heat radiating from your cheeks, a prickling sensation spreading across your skin. your heart pounded in your chest, a mix of anger and mortification causing your pulse to quicken, the heat of your blush intensifying as the urge to defend yourself burned inside you, evident in the way you jammed your elbow into his side.
you relished in the pained grunt he let out as he rubbed the targeted area, slightly bent forward as he glared up at you through narrowed eyes.
satisfied and proud, you pulled the laptop towards you and scrolled down to find more rude and dishonest reviews to casually debunk and argue with.
"'saw rats around in the shape of two kids... they should get an exterminator'..." you read out slowly, a tense silence falling over the two of you and (in your mind) the entire cafe too. your stomach dropped, eyes widening as you snapped your head over to face an already-disgruntled megumi. "is this incel talking about us?"
"ye—"
"how dare it?" you gasped, angrily typing up a response, the sounds of the buttons on the keyboard being pressed more aggressively than it should be resonated around the small interior. "look at the profile picture, that's the guy we shouted at last week!"
megumi leaned in, chin resting a little over your right shoulder as he examined the image with a glower.
"he could afford to skip a few sweet treats —"
"it, megumi," you corrected, hitting 'enter' after you finished typing up your response. "it could afford to skip a few sweet treats."
he read out your response, tone bland and unwavering:
"'is that why they call you the rat whisperer?'"
he locked eyes with you, his usual blank expression barely masking the faint trace of amusement in his gaze. you looked away, back at the laptop to find another rude comment to respond to.
"oh, one star review! look!" you said, pointing at the screen enthusiastically. "'chocolate too sweet. bad.'" you stared at the review, unimpressed. "i mean, it's almost as if that's the point."
you sighed and rolled your eyes, fingers flying over the keyboard as you typed a response to the absurd comment. megumi watched quietly, noting the way your eyes narrowed in unimpressed concentration as you crafted your reply. you wouldn't be actively defending this cafe and miss B if you truly believed that her food and service was not good: her bread, pastries, cupcakes, sweet treats were the best in the town. people ought to know that.
your response was quite simple, written in the same manner this liar wrote his:
dave schlager too stupid (chocolate is meant to be sweet). bad.
the bell behind you gave a soft chime, heralding the arrival of yet another customer. however, when you and megumi eagerly and robotically looked over your shoulders to observe the newcomer, you hadn't expected to feel that familiar strain in your stomach, an itch that ran all the way up to your throat, prompting you to laugh. you usually had this reaction when you'd see men, but the sight before you proved otherwise.
the woman who had entered the cafe was a sight to behold. her hair was an untamed mass, sticking out at odd angles that defied any sense of natural order. strands of grey wove through the wild mane, giving it a streaked, chaotic appearance. her eyes were wide and bulging, darting around the room with a manic energy that made them seem even larger. her clothes were dishevelled, adding to her overall rugged and eccentric look, only making it more of a struggle for you to suppress a laugh, her appearance so wildly unconventional, that it seemed almost surreal. you had half a mind to ask megumi to pinch you, but refrained, knowing he'd enjoy it too much.
the two of you faced the front again. megumi didn't seem too fazed, face stony and tired. you, on the other hand, found your shoulders shaking with the effort of holding back several incoming giggles. he looked down at you, very clearly unmoved.
"i'm gonna take a wild guess and assume you want to take this one?"
you slapped a hand over your mouth and faked a cough, forehead nearly meeting the table as you hid your laughter, bent forward and chest heaving. you felt megumi's hand tapping and rubbing at your back, almost as if to hold up the act that you were ill.
you almost thanked him before you heard his low, grumpy voice.
"you're not embarrassing me today."
you didn't even have it in you to shrug his hand off. instead, you straightened up and made an attempt to mask your expression as much as possible, facing him with a sheepish smile.
"her story's not too long," you began, almost letting a giggle slip. almost. "megumi... she stole from the bank and the fbi tased her. and then — and then she got electrocuted!"
you laughed harder at that, making little effort to conceal it. even megumi, who barely ever smiled in a day — and who you very much expected to scold you for this one — looked like he was struggling to hide one (but just scarcely).
he eventually let out a small chuckle, which only encouraged you to laugh some more. you doubled over slightly, gripping onto the counter for support, some of your abandoned math sheets falling on the floor, your infectious giggles filling the quiet air. megumi's lips twitched slightly, a silent chuckle escaping him as he watched your reaction, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. at the sight of him joining in on the fun, you pointed at him, realising something else.
"why are you laughing?" you inquired, then reached down to retrieve a mirror, holding it up so he was met with his own reflection. "haha! you both got struck by lightning!"
his smile had disintegrated, only watching you as you rocked yourself back and forth at his expression, feeling a stitch in your side with how funny the situation was. silently and angrily, he swiped the mirror out of your hands, raising his own hand to flick at your forehead.
you choked, the minor pain at the centre of your forehead jolting you awake from your laughing fit. scowling, you rubbed at the area he'd intentionally hurt, barely registering the fact that he had taken the laptop to continue attacking the bad reviews.
you let him, acknowledging the fact that what you had said was rather mean.
"'i came not once, not twice but THREE times for food, every time it tasted not up to par,'" megumi's disinterested voice read aloud, the annoyance from what you'd said still lacing each word with slight venom. you laughed. "why would you go back to a place if you didn't like it? idiot."
"you tell 'em, porcupine," you encouraged, anticipating his response.
megumi's witty comebacks were always funny. he didn't even mean to make you laugh with them, but even then, they were enough to have you practically rolling around on the floor, belly aching and heart running a million miles per second. his nonchalant behaviour only added to the amusement.
he wrote his reply, sent it, and then slid the laptop over to you. you leaned forward, reading and judging:
stop coming for breakfast, lunch and dinner, we're not a food bank.
you gave that one an 11/10 — the man behind the account would need to change his name, date of birth and identity, and then remove himself from the face of the earth if he ever wanted to recover from that, you concluded wisely.
your praise sat at the tip of your tongue, only to be abandoned at the echo of the bell's chimes that bounced off of the walls, signalling the arrival of another customer. figuring that this would be megumi's turn to create a theory, you turned on your stool excitedly, only to have your jaw drop to the floor and under.
standing in front of the door was none other than your favourite (and only) math teacher of the year: mr kento nanami!
your heart skipped a beat as you caught sight of your math teacher entering the cafe. shock painted your features as you gawked, wide-eyed, hardly believing that the business-attire man was standing in a setting that wasn't your typical school environment. you exchanged a quick, incredulous glance with megumi before hastily adjusting your posture, trying to appear composed despite the unexpected surprise.
it was typical. he still wore the same clothes (which made sense since you and megumi had too seeing as you went straight to the cafe right after school had finished). but something about seeing him enter such a cottage-vibe, almost feminine cafe made you recoil, not that you were displeased at all. in fact, you thought that this was the best arrival that the bell had drawn your attention to yet!
"kento nanami!" you yelled, ignoring megumi wincing at the sudden volume of your voice as you raised an arm over your head to enthusiastically wave at him.
a slight scowl of annoyance marred his usually composed face when he heard you call out to him using his government name. his brows furrowed, and a hint of disapproval flashed in his eyes, portraying his strict demeanour, but you didn't mind. surely school rules did not apply outside of the school environment? surely it didn't matter whether you referred to him as kento or mr nanami or whatever?
"kento, look!" you tried again, turning halfway to grab your math homework sheets and present them to him. "i'm sitting here doing your homework! in this beautiful cafe! because of you!"
"actually, you spent the last thirty minutes laughing at my customers and arguing with the bad reviews again," miss B corrected you, apparently materialising out of thin air.
you jumped slightly, the sheets scattering and your brows furrowing as you watched her shut the laptop and take it away. kento's response also took you by surprise.
"i was correct in believing that it wasn't you disrespectfully responding to them."
he had made his way further down the interior, leading up to the counter where miss B, you, and megumi were.
you beamed. "no, it was megumi and i."
megumi grumbled something along the lines of 'wasn't me', which you knew was a complete and utter lie. megumi was your accomplice in all of this; it didn't matter whether you were the mastermind behind it all. he still served his purpose and did it brilliantly too. you couldn't have asked for a better partner. except, perhaps, nobara, who was equally as good as him at silencing people when it was necessary.
although, kento did not look as though he believed you. you didn't like that much.
"keep an eye out for the one where he told the guy that he shouldn't come so often because we're not a food bank!" you told him honestly, still smiling despite kento's obvious disbelief.
he glanced at megumi as if to say is-this-true?
you chortled, knowing full well that megumi would not lie with his chest, especially not in front of you.
"megumi is sensible," said kento, with such confidence, you almost felt bad for him. you wondered what his reaction would be if you told him about that one zoo incident where megumi jumped into the gorilla enclosure and declared that he'd stay there for the rest of his life? or the occasion where little you and megumi had been scolded by your parents so badly, he made the suggestion of running away together (and went through with it) even though it was bound to have failed from the beginning? or the time where he helped you torment your unfriendly, rival neighbour mrs daphne on facebook to the point where she had marched down to your houses to complain to your parents?
megumi is sensible, you thought, and nearly laughed. how comical, loud, and wrong.
"why do you think the punctuation is so perfect?" you asked, raising a brow. "you think i'd care enough to put capital letters and full stops everywhere?"
kento's eyes widened slightly, a flicker of surprise crossing his face as he processed the unexpected news. a momentary pause followed, during which his features tensed with mild astonishment, and yours only grew more joyful. megumi, on the other hand, was silently forcing down the urge to push you off your stool and walk home without you (he would never).
"the usual?" miss B interrupted, still smiling the elegant way that she does.
kento nodded slowly, she began organising his order behind the counter. you blinked several times.
"the usual?" you repeated, bewildered. "kento nana—"
"y/n," he snapped, still composed even so. "refrain from referring to me with my first name."
"we're not at school," you reminded him.
he adjusted the odd, spotted tie he wore, looking irked. "doesn't matter —"
"you come here a lot?" you asked, curious. even megumi seemed interested, and he had been frowning and grumbling the second kento had walked past the door.
"this place has the best bread in town," he told you, stiff. "better than my local supermarkets."
you grinned. "and miss B is the best cashier and server ever, right?"
you sensed megumi's gaze on you, causing you to adjust the way you sat slightly in your seat. you ignored the feeling, understanding that megumi knew what you were trying to do and was making it extremely clear that he wanted you to look at him for a second, if the way he was tugging at the bottom of your sleeve aggressively was anything to go by. you slapped his hand away, grin widening ever so slightly as the hiss he let out, still getting into character. your role? temporary matchmaker.
kento watched miss B work behind the counter.
"i respect her a lot," he said, barely answering the question.
you wanted to gruel him for some more information, but your time had been cut short when miss B's soft voice had driven a smooth knife through the heated conversation.
"here you are," she said, handing him his food in a bag.
he exchanged it for some money, she tried to give him some change, he told her she could keep it. with a final look at you, megumi, and the homework he'd assigned you, he told you to take care of yourselves and left the cafe, his strides even and his back straight.
what took you by surprise was the fact that miss B had followed him out, waving at him from the door and telling him to come again after a brief conversation with him that you and megumi, from where you were sat, could not hear. she never did this with any of her other customers. you were here so often that you knew she did not. the two of you exchanged looks of obvious bafflement, sitting up straighter and raising your chins to nosily observe the sight before you.
when she returned, you did not miss the rosy pink in her cheeks.
"miss B —" you began, only for her to interrupt you with a laugh.
"he's a regular customer, quite like the two of you," she said, and then looked around at the mess on the counter that were your unorganised math papers. "and he told me to tell you that you only needed to do page ten and eleven of the booklet."
you felt your stomach flip itself upside down.
you had fried your brain for no reason at all, for you'd completed nearly half of the booklet instead of the assigned designated pages. perhaps that would teach you to meddle in business that wasn't yours, you thought you heard megumi grumble from next to you, but you weren't so sure...
not when you'd dropped your head on the table, hopeless.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・
bonus scene:
megumi and yuji were both traitors.
during gym class, coach lauren did not seem to mind that you and nobara had migrated to the corner of the gymnasium, gossiping and laughing about who-knows-what. naturally, the class grew quite boring for the two of you, so you'd snuck out and gone to the football field where you knew coach yaga's class would be residing.
long story short: megumi and yuji both rat you out and coach yaga had kicked the two of you off his field and had you stay with him for detention.
all. because. of. them.
so in conclusion, the two of you had seated yourselves far, far away from them in any class that you could, which included satoru's physics class.
you were wary not to sit near malakai, who always had something odd to say to nobara. in fact, when she'd come into school with a brighter, new hair-do (no longer the dark colour that you were so used to) malakai had a few things to say... but that was a story for another day.
now, you only just realised the mistake you had made sitting on the middle table instead of your regular seats. and it was not because of megumi or yuji, no.
it was because of the drama queen that just so happened to be your male, adult, mature teacher: satoru gojo.
when taking the register, which usually went by pretty quickly, the second he had come to either of your names, he had started an act that made you believe that perhaps he should have been the one taking performing arts as a subject:
"y/n?" he'd called out, looking around the class as if you were not seated across the whiteboard, the first seat on the middle table.
"here," you said, unfazed.
"huh — oh!" he said, resulting in the eyes of everyone in your class to look at you as though you'd done something wrong, as though you were malakai, even. "oh, right, y/n... are you new here?"
you scrunched your nose up in something in between confusion and annoyance. what the hell was he talking about? unlike majority of the people sitting in the classroom, this man knew of your existence since you were four years old. what game was he playing?
"you're joking, right?" you said, watching him carefully as he scratched the top of his head and shrugged. "sa—"
"o-kay!" he perked up, rushing through the register with such ease, you hadn't expected him to stop and squint a second time. but he had. "i might get this one wrong so forgive me but... no— nobara? nobara?" he called out, once more, looking up and all around the classroom as though he couldn't see her sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with you.
unlike you, she had a much shorter fuse that he'd lit.
"what's wrong with you?" she demanded, eyes narrowed. "i'm here."
he raised his eyebrows up at her and nodded, muttering to himself. the two of you were both equally confused, and so was the rest of the class, it seemed, if the whispers were anything to go by.
the register had been completed not long after that. you assumed his weird antics would also finish too, but you were proven wrong once the idiot had opened his mouth to address the class again.
"so we have two new students with us today!" he said, excited. "make them feel welcome! their names are... nobara and..." he thought long and hard before looking over at you, tilting his head forward so you could see the terrifying blues that were hiding behind the circular lenses. "hmm... what's your name again?"
your anger simmered like a pot left too long on the stove, bubbling beneath the surface. as you stared back at satoru's clueless expression, it felt like a storm brewing in your chest, thunderclouds gathering with each passing moment. his feigned ignorance was like a slap in the face, a sharp thorn pricking at your patience, igniting the flames of your frustration.
how dare he?
he moved on to teaching the class before either of you got to call him out for his bullshit.
only for it to slowly get worse as the time went by.
he was sat at his desk, explaining the slide from the powerpoint that he'd presented on the board with a lazy smile and stretched out legs that resting on a spare chair.
"what's at the centre of an animal cell?" he asked the class, encouraging people to raise their hands.
nobara raised hers, eager to answer.
"new kid!" he said, and when she glared at him, he backtracked. "i mean nobara! — that was scary — what's at the centre of an animal cell?"
"the nucleus," she answered.
he frowned. "huh?"
she frowned. "the nucleus," she repeated helpfully.
he leaned forwards, a hand cupping his ear. "sorry, i can't hear you, you're too far away."
oh, it made sense now, you thought in your head. he was throwing a fit over the fact that the two of you had chosen to sit in the centre of the room, a little further away from his desk, than at the back table with megumi and yuji, closer to him.
what a diva.
he directed the question to maryam, who sat at the table closest to the door and furthest from his desk.
"you're right! it's the nucleus!" he cheerfully praised her, continuing to teach as though he hadn't just distracted the entire class due to his theatrics. even malakai sensed something was wrong, claiming that 'the darkness is starting to reach the lightness of his hair... it is consuming him', whatever the hell that meant.
it hadn't ended there though, for when the worksheets were being handed out by yuji, he had completely skipped over you and nobara (though he looked quite frightened at doing so). it was no doubt satoru's instructions he was acting on behalf of.
"give it," nobara demanded, standing up and approaching him.
yuji held the papers close to his chest. "but mr gojo said —"
"mr gojo also once said that he's married with thirteen kids, do you believe that?"
she forcefully snatched two sheets from him, marching back to where she was sat with you and slammed them down onto the table with such force, it shook, your pencil committing suicide off the edge.
"men will be the death of everyone, mark my words," she'd said.
when you raised a hand for help, your pencil clasped in your curled fingers, he asked what happened to gravity and why an inanimate object was suddenly floating.
that was the last straw for you.
if he was going to pretend that you had miraculously turned invisible, then you were going to do as you pleased with this ability. pencil still in your tight grasp, you stood up, made eye contact with your childish teacher, and sprinted out of the classroom.
satoru perked up, alarmed as he ordered for help.
"whoever's closest to the door, close it before she —"
you'd already left.
he let out a long sigh, only to raise a brow when you'd returned the second you'd disappeared from view, running across the classroom to take nobara's hand, glance up at your teacher, and say...
"malakai."
— before taking off with your friend, chaos ensuing behind you.
the chaos being malakai emerging from under the sink, arms flailing around himself, eyes rolling to the back of his head, snarling and growling as he shook, only creating more issues for satoru who, everyone knew, hated dealing with the odd emo.
that'd teach him to pretend that you (out of everyone) were invisible.
lesson learned, he thought in his head, letting out a loud and drawn out groan when malakai refused to stop.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・
(random tweets cuz i think you guys waited long enough for this chapter to come out, eat well 😁)
(p.s. ignore the date on the tweet, it was meant to say 2017 lmao)
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・
notes: i'm so tired, gonna take a longgg nap. not my favourite chapter tbh, but it's needed to set the scene for high school because the real part of the story (the one where all the drama starts and stuff) is arriving in less than three chapters!! and we also have a lovely character, important to the plot, to introduce next chapter, so stay tuned my little liars?
previous chapter :)
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© tojiscrack (previously ack4rwoman)
if you enjoyed my writing, i’d really appreciate it if you tipped me — tumblr no longer has the tip function, so maybe here in my tip jar :)
i do not own any of the characters of jjk, i only own the character of y/n and her mother. the other characters belong to gege akutami.
#megumi fushiguro x reader#fushiguro megumi x reader#megumi x reader#megumi x you#megumi x y/n#fushiguro x reader#fushiguro megumi#fushiguro megumi x y/n#megumi fushiguro x y/n#jjk#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#jjk x y/n#little megumi x you#fushiguro megumi x you#jjk x you#megumi fluff#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro#jjk fushiguro#megumi#x reader
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