#this isnt betrayal i swear

[jymwahuwu]

Last one was great!

Poor arrogant reader soon will be fired from her position as head of the Family for some fabricated case, she is now basically jobless with all her belongings and money arrested and guards are not letting her leave Penacony.

She is such a mess now, so stresssed out with her career ruined she isnt even noticing that she hadnt got her period for several months.

But who will she come for help, who will accept a mess like her at such low point of her life?🤔

Of course our angelic prick will take her in. Reader doesnt have a choice to be honest. She doesnt have money to pay for shelter, food and medical care for her condition anymore?

I also hc Penacony being really expensive place especially in terms of healthcare. And abortions are strictly prohibited.

Well, clean house, homemade meals and some other nightly services could cover those expences. Our arrogant girlie will have to humble herself a bit.

And kid being born out of wedlock? Not on Sunday's watch!

Imagine some time later her former coworkers, heads of other Families or her former subordinates witnessing reader going out for groceries or just going out for a walk with Sunday holding her hand firmly?

She does not seems like arrogant bitch anymore, her belly is swollen, clothes are modest, matching rings at couple's fingers.

so sorry for the long delay in replying!!

I've been meaning to find the time to write this... and thank you for writing it in such detail. super love the content about arrogant reader get humiliated. this is awesome 😽💗💖 sunday brings it all to you but you started it first, right?

part 1

cw: yandere, dub-con, brainwashing, mind control, housewife kink, pregnancy, inappropriate traditional concepts (language about serving husband and family)

Sunday used to always forgive your arrogance and intrigue, but that's the past.

Since you like this trick so much, Sunday brings these back to you. In this dreamy and fallen city, your reputation is completely destroyed in half an hour. (He was at the party, shaking his glass and socializing with the guests.) Some Bloodhound family guards burst into your office and led you away , in full view of everyone and a lot of chatter. They grabbed your hands and dragged you forward. (He stretched his hands into fists, put them to his lips and chuckled.) It was almost a crime of betrayal to Xipe and The Family. Listen to harsh words and sign documents. (The money ejected from the machine flies into the sky. The scale of the clock is turning.)

These days of interrogation have left you exhausted. One day, you open the door to your home with the usual verification, but there is a notice on the door that it has been sealed and frozen. That was locked and confiscated. A cold stab of fear stabbed your back. There is no way to book a hotel room or rent a new house. Your bank account is also blocked.

The final straw is the realization that you haven't had your period in months. Used the last of your credit points to take a pregnancy test. The result is a baby growing inside you. There was no doubt that it was that wing bastard's baby. A baby destined to have a halo and wings.

Your eyes were sore, and tears welled up in your eyes and flowed down your cheeks.

The eyes of birds these days are staring at you from every height, corner, and alley. Your pregnancy test results are sent to Sunday's phone. His glove patted your back gently. He whispers to you, the aura continuing to send out gentle waves, shushing you. You whimpered, pushing him away in annoyance. "Get away, you bastard!"

"I just did to you what you've always wanted to do to me. Don't make a fuss." The rising corners of the oak leader's mouth only added fuel to his raging anger at you. What happened to him? He's really terrible! You point at him and take a few steps back. "Don't fucking touch me! You hypocrite."

He frowned.

"No swearing."

"What the fuck-" Just like last time, a cheerful and harmonious arrangement of notes penetrated your mind. That ethereal and strange light appears before your eyes and captures your thoughts. You obediently followed Sunday to his mansion.

What Sunday offers you comes at a price. He provided for you, after all, didn't he? You can no longer be so arbitrary, arrogant and rude. You need to pray at the dinner table, kiss him on the cheek, and be grateful to Xipe and the nutritious food he provides you. Or have him pinch your cheeks and feed you. Now that you have no job and no money, you should have time to sweep the floor, right? Keeping the house tidy is important. He checked the dust on the vase and scanned the floor. Of course don’t forget to suck his cock and spread your legs at night. He will be very, very careful. (Sex during pregnancy is always slow. You whimper when milk is secreted from your buds.)

And witnessing that humiliation! Yes, in the past, you and he competed in the workplace, and the atmosphere was tense. Everyone knows you hate Sunday. And now other family members can see the changes in you. You held his hand tightly, intertwining your fingers with your belly swollen. Those luxurious clothes of the past have disappeared, replaced by your simple, loose skirts.

[q8qwertyuiop8p]

Jinx gets a music video about her tragic past and descent into evil, ambessa gets a music video about her tragic past and descent into evil, where is Silco's??? He doesn't survive season 1, he doesn't get a shirtless scene, he doesn't get a makeup collab, and he's the only major villian with no music video (and isnt playable in league). I swear Silco is ALWAYS the one left out and this makes me so sad. I need a music video of Silco's transformation after the betrayal 😭

[pokemon-ash-aus]

I'm more curious on what reverse betrayal AU is, i couldn't really find anything in the tags sorry

Damn i SWEAR i wrote it down already. I guess Tumblr's tags are extra extra broken.

OKAY 👏

So everyone knows the canonical fanfiction trope of Betrayal AU's yes? Where the Main character of any fandom (in this case Ash) gets abandoned and spit on by their friends and partners except for the brief few that usually end up being the love interest?

In this case it's

Ash's friends leave him, ash's pokemon leave him except for the strong ones (pikachu is usually leaving him behind but i call bull so whatevs), Ash gets new pokemon, stronger and so much better (also legendaries, whoda thunk), he gets a love interest or a harem (cause why not) and then gets WICKED OP to the point its a bit unbelievable. Theb the betrayers come back and Ash wipes the floor with them while mocking them the whole time.

Its a well known trope, one that i used to adore myself, but i found it lacking after a hot min. The characters were always OOC, and the progression of events started to lean on terrible for me. No hate to the trope, i wrote one nyself once upon a time (unfinished), but it's nit in my wheelhouse anymore.

And so i made the Reverse Betrayal AU, mostly as a kick but really it started on the same premise but executed differently.

Ash's friends gather round, in this case, it had only gone up to alola so im sticking by that. My reasoning was that the little field trip down in Kanto was an excellent opportunity to get the rest of Ash's friends down there as a surprise!

Now, i want to point out the crucial information that Ash acts differently with each friend group. Not intentionally being deceitful, but more of, trying to fit into the type of person they need. For Misty that was a Brat, for May that was a Mentor, for Dawn a Sibling, for Iris an idiot, for Serena a hero. Etc etc.

Alola was the place where Ash *couldnt* do that so he finds himself in a mix of Mentor/friend/sibling role.

But when they all are there, Ash has a hard time trying to figure out what he should be and what he should stray into. And that leans into him being a Brat because Misty is a VERY loud personality in a way no one else was.

And boy do they grate on each other's nerves.

Misty is teasing him playfully, but Ash is biting back HARD. Not because he wants too, but the stress of the situation makes it hard for him to fight back just as playful. Especially with Iris there since her words used to cut before, but now he's painting Misty with the same brush but twice as deep.

And Misty doesnt appreciate this right, so this playfight on her end turns into actual fighting, words of anger and resentment speaking out on both sides.

"I WISH I NEVER MET YOU." Get's thrown out and the entire field goes quiet.

"Ditto." Ash growls.

And they turn away from each other.

And Brock is already trying to placate, he's seen this before a million times but then...

Everyone else jumps in.

Accusations are thrown, some side with Misty some side with Ash. None of these people are friends with each other, they all are connected through Ash.

And so Brock cuts them all off, cause the two were BOTH being uncalled for. And when he turns to Ash to ask what he was thinking.

The kid is outright gone.

No words no nothing and that leaves a deep deep dread in Brock's stomach.

"Oh he left, just like a little kid." Iris sighs, shaking her head as the others glare at her.

"No," Brock's voice trembles and that stops everyone else from really saying anything. "Ash can be rude and angry and wrong all he wants but he doesnt ever leave a conversation mod way- hell he doesnt even run away from a confrontation- this- this isnt right."

And while they look for him it starts ti become more and more clear that... None of these people are /friends/. They know Ash and Ash only.

And that starts *arguments*, screams of whose right and whose wrong and why Ash doesnt need to have a friend like *you.*

Its the take of, instead of Ashbeing abandoned by his friends. Its instead Ash 'abandoning' his friends instead. But its not really true, cause Ash wabts to be with his friends he's just...

Very mad right now.

Whoo i went on a tangent. I have more- somewhere- so ill need to look for it.

[lynnthefrenchtoast]

why lyney x aether just makes sense

no traveller ship has ever rlly worked to me (other than ayaka bc it was very heavily hinted in canon) UNTIL TODAY. HERE IS MY FORMAL DISSERTATION ON WHY LYNETHER WORKS

neither of them have pairs - genshin purposefully does this thing where they pair up characters (eg: chongyun & xingqiu, jean & lisa) which is why there are so many popular ships in the fandom. i think lyney's effective pair is meant to be lynette & aether doesnt have one bc hes meant to be a player-insert but that leaves SO MUCH ROOM bc when you think about it the closest thing lyney has to a love interest IS AETHER

siblings - both of them are elder brothers and both are TWINS . they also both have a youngest sibling figure (freminet and paimon; dont tell me paimon isnt a younger sister figure bc if u open a modern au ALMOST ALWAYS she is presented as "aether and lumines younger sister") their backstories are similar (losing their other half) so they canonically understand each other (There's nothing in the world I treasure more than my family, so I know what it must be like for you -Lyney, Friendship LV4) THIS LEADS INTO MY OTHER POINT

the "i see past your mask" trope - this is a very popular trope (and one that ngl kills me everytime i read it bc it preys on the human desire to be fully understood) BUT it was made for lyney . if youve watched ouran highschool host club HIKARU AND KAORUS "we are the only two who understand each other... until haruhi arrived" IS NOT DISSIMILAR TO WHAT COULD HAPPEN WITH LYNEY, LYNETTE AND AETHER . and lyney was BORN to fit this trope bc he already has the whole fake, charming, extrovert persona he puts on. ("Actually, the real me is nowhere near as outgoing or chatty as I appear. (...) I think people would feel sorry for the real me." -Lyney, friendship LV6)

narrative - a big thing about ships is they need to have a faucet for tension . like xingyun is extremely hinted in canon but its nowhere near as popular as kavetham and zhongchi. why? because theyre just childhood best friends. nothing interesting about it. zhongchi especially is hugely popular bc of the potential for reconciliation after the osial arc (zhongli's "im sorry for manipulating you. it wasnt all fake i swear" sorta thing) AND YK WHAT ELSE HAS THAT??? FURINA REVEALING LYNEY AS FATUI IN THE TRIAL "im sorry for lying about my identity. it wasnt all fake" the core that makes ships like satosugu and zhongchi tragic is the betrayal of trust, and, well... ("Nothing could make me happier than having your trust." -Lyney, Ascension 4)

binary opposition - why is satosugu so popular? probably because its the whole 'cruel murderer villain' vs 'strongest hero' trope and audienced like sun vs moon . okay . AETHER IS LITERALLY THE HONORARY KNIGHT OF MONDSTADT, HERO OF LIYUE, ENEMY OF ETERNITY, FIRST SAGE OF BUER and lyney is THE FUTURE SUCCESSOR TO THE HOUSE OF HEARTH . the villain of genshin impact (currently) is the fatui so you cant get better than this.

canon hints - even if ships would theoretically work well and have potential for tension, they need to be grounded in the source material. so does lynether have that?

"Hmm, your eyes are like topaz, precious, pure, and lovely. I like them! I've decided — I'm going to put on a show just for you."

"I thought it was the radiance of the sunlight on my skin that I felt — turns out it was your radiance all along!"

"I should probably emphasize again that I'm rarely so open with anyone — I guess it's because you're not just anyone."

"It seems we're both keenly interested in each other. Well, know that the honor is mine! Haha, relax. I couldn't ever tell lies to your mesmerizing eyes — not even if I tried!"

"Doing all this for me... Are you trying to steal this magician's heart, by any chance? Well, in that case, congratulations, my dear apprentice — or should I say, "companion." For you have succeeded!"

canonically, lyney gets upset when aether thinks abt other things when hes in fromt of him. HES LIKE A POUTING CHILD THAT GOES "pay attention to me!!!" LMFAOO

the rainbow rose, need i say more? lyney literally gets flustered when lynette brings it up too pfft

most of the stuff he says can be attributed to lyney just being a flirt but in cases like the rainbow rose scene where he literally does it BECAUSE HE KNOWS AETHER WOULDNT GET IT... there is no platonic explanation bc if there was, if it meant Friendly Love THEN THE DEVELOPERS WOULDNT HAVE ADDED THE NOTE ABOUT LYNETTE NEVER GETTING ONE considering shes the most important person to lyney...

in conclusion, ive rambled for too freaking long but THEY WORK . AND THERES ALSO POTENTIAL FOR A WHOLE LONG DISTANCE YEARNING ARC BC AETHER ALWAYS TRAVELS SO... FANFIC WRITERS CHOP CHOP

[gudaho]

Seeing how Kadoc reacts to the usual Chaldea weirdness is a big part of the reason I enjoy "what if (x) joined Chaldea" stuff because I like the idea of seeing how the other Crypters (except Beryl because fuck 'em) would handle being part of some of the wackier events in F/GO. I feel like Kirschtaria in particular would vibe REALLY well with a lot of the goofy stuff and get really into some of those events.

oops this got long, headcanons below

Kirschtaria is as close to a servant as a person can get with his goofy-ass attitude. he would be a regular recruit in hijinks. he is somehow a citizen of the servantverse. he can make problems but cant ever solve them. caenis and gordy take shifts watching kirschtaria to make sure he doesnt start some bullshit

Pepe would be similar but doesn't need a baby-sitting squad to make sure he stays out of trouble. side-line supporter, mom who brings the best snacks to the kids soccer game, seeking business opportunities in new singularities.

as relaxed as they would normally be, there will still be times when something happens and they cant help but release a "what the fuck" because of the absurdity/sudden mortality of the situation. in chaldea both become clingy of guda and mash- mash is of course their tortured kouhai they want to make amends with. the unfortunate kid who lost their everything, someone they want to protect. guda...guda is the below-average prodigy that pepe and kirschtaria want to test and observe. like watching a pumpkin toadlet jump and then fail to land.

beryl forceful reformation program. he isnt allowed near mash, any servant would begin to beat him up if he got close. he isnt allowed near guda, guda gets too pissed to concentrate. he is forced into buddist practices like eating once a day, sitting under a waterfall, prayer, and helping to do chores. the servants who watch him (saints, monks, pacifists, morgan, and lots of generals for some reason) swear he is showing moral improvements. if you see him in the hallway he beaten down by life.

ophelia is having much needed girl time. the one who is chilling the most after joining chaldea post-crypter career. a favorite among servants for her helpful and thoughtful attitude. doesnt cause trouble. is part of the kirschtaria task-force. is quite aloof towards guda because she feels guilty about turning her back on humanity. because she spends time with mash she inevitably spends time with guda, she tries not to make it awkward but she cant help it. despite being on the backburner, ophy is fiercely protective of this new chaldea. one time she gets really drunk (got carried away drinking w/ bryn) and cries in gudas lap about how sorry she is. her avoidant behavior improves after that and she gets roped into causing trouble.

we know that yu meiren becomes gudas (unwilling) servant and senpai. she becomes more fond of guda as time goes on, unsurprisingly. shocking everyone though, she becomes more friendly towards the other crypters. the relaxed and crass attitude she gives to guda gets transferred to everyone else. they are very surprised by this (she once called kirschtaria a doll-eyed fetus and he thought it was so funny he told everyone about it for like a week). taking on an older sister role, meiren becomes an unexpected source of solace for the crypters and eases the tensions between servants and crypter. her hubby takes it upon himself to keep an eye on beryl. she brags about how much beryl has improved under the watch of the most handsome man to ever exist

kadoc is another favorite among servants but for bullying purposes. he has a number of servants that just...enjoy bothering him. because of his attitude he also has some friends (jason, mandricardo, etc). complained about being weak too many times and was forced to join body-building club. like ophy he is awkward about his past betrayal but he gets over it pretty quickly. how does he get over it? great question, everything guda does annoys him. he made a point to publicly apologize to mash and da vinci. usually left out of causing problems but often gets roped into helping resolve them. has to tap out halfway because he cant cope. he is anastasia's stay at home wife.

some servants never warm up to the crypters- they are polite of course but guda is too much of a priority. for some servants its their protective nature, for others its natural caution. some of those servants include: moriarty (acts friendly. is not.), dantes (never interacts with them. always lurking around guda), oberon (doesnt like anyone), BB (acts friendly. is not.), morgan (doesnt trust like that), arjuna (doesnt trust like that), jalter (emo), kama (doesnt like anyone), abby (never interacts with them. always lurking around guda)

[trash----panda]

Short Yes

Jackie swear they left them at home, it was meant to be a spa day just for them but.... on the ground of the sauna, with their little tufted tail swinging back and forth, was their borrower. How did they even get in here?! Why did they-

The sound of little feet on the stone caught Jackie's attention, watching as the smaller figure approached before climbing up onto their leg and laying on the towel in their lap with a heavy sigh. They hesitantly poke them "why are you here"

The little one groaned and pushed their finger away "you said this place makes you feel good, i wanna feel good"

They just starred at them, about to refute but interupted by the door opening as another person came in to soak, almost slamming their hand down to cover the little guy. They were glad it was a sauna cause they were bright red, trying to hide the squirming under their hand. They avoided looking at the other person who seemed to come in here for a nap, that wasnt safe... but also not their problem. Right now they were busy thinking how to smuggle their friend out, putting them bundled in the towel was a bad idea, they didnt have much hair... they'd just have to carry them, godd this was embarrassing. They quietly got up, keeping their hand balled around the tiny person, their other holding their towel as they exited. A hurried walk back to the lockers before plopping the little one inside on their jacket

"you were supposed to stay home!"

"but you said it was for relaxing" they tried to fix their hair, annoyed it was all ruffled now

"relaxing for me, some time away from you"

They both froze, the little one's face plastered with betrayal, their hair a little less poofy and their tail not moving altogether

"Hey wait that isnt what i-"

"no i-i get what you meant" they gave an angry chuckle, moving to the back of the locker to sit facing away "you go enjoy your day without me"

Jackie could see them wiping their face, sitting on their knees so they were eye level "i didnt mean it like that" a small huff in response "i just.... worry about you a lot, like when we go shopping and i dont know where you are" they reached out, gently rubbing their back "or when you wanna go with me to work and get stuck in the tip jar" a tiny purr letting them know today mihht be salvagable "i just... i need a break from thinking you're gonna get hurt"

They turned around to face Jackie, grabbing the finger gently, still not happy about this but a little more relaxed "i.... can stay here and wait... so you dont have to leave?" Jackie gave a soft smile in return, nodding "yah that'd.... be nice" they flinched when the borrower hugged their finger all of a sudden, nuzzling into it "just dont leave me too long"

Their human nodded, propping their phone up in the back so they could play games or watch youtube while waiting, closing the door and going to enjoy the spa.

[neko-naruto]

Compact Confessional

Summary: Mysterion is holding something from the rest of the Freedom Pals. They should respect his privacy, they really should- but they only take it as a challenge.

Warnings: Suggestive themes, privacy breach, betrayal of trust, swearing, feral behavior (in Kite), the authors attempt at humor, heavy guilt, interrogation, it gets worse but then it gets better guys, I promise

Authors Note: hurgh K2, with the additional flavor of kitesterion because I went batshit over the AU to an insane degree. I have no clue when the Ao3 port is dropping. Sorry if some of the colored text, isnt colored. And fair warning, this badboy levels around 10K words, tumblr starts to lag around 7.5K for anyone curious. it is almost 3 AM (do artists ever stay up insanely late to finish big projects and get so sleepy they forget the hotkey for the eraser tool? I wouldn't know, but somewhere along the line I kept trying to write segue way with a Q because I was fucking disoriented) I need to go to sleep right the fuck now

Mysterion is keeping something from the Freedom Pals, he's keeping something from all of them. Maybe if he was willing to talk about it with someone everyone wouldn't find it so intriguing. Maybe then everyone wouldn't want to know what it is that's so fucking important that no one is allowed to know about it.

Super Craig tries to act like it's nothing super big, aware that if everybody paid no mind to it that it might come out faster. Tupperware followed suite with the idea, Wonder Tweek tagging in as well. Other members of their franchise were a lot less… subtle, about their interest in Mysterions secret, whatever it is. The Coon is practically begging him every single day to tell him what it is, Call Girl even joins in. Toolshed is pretty sure the both of them are just making things worse it they want Mysterion to come clean.

Human Kite is the only one that refuses to meddle at all, even Doctor Timothy has tried getting a peek in Mysterions mind. The alien is the only one that sits there and listens to him bitch about how annoying they are. The only one that pauses to look and listen and take in every visual and audible cue because that's what he's known to do since he first landed way back when. It tells him a lot about his teammates if nothing else.

Still.

Mysterion- no, Kenny McCormick is hiding something from his friends. And given the fact that it's barely coming out even when he's in a state of delirium or terribly wounded, it must be something big.

It's starting to piss off Kyle a little bit.

-/-/-/-

"Thanks for letting me hang out for a bit man," Kenny said as he pulled on his orange parka. He opted to leave his bleached cargo shorts and purple everything else in a pile on Kyles bedroom floor. It was easy to do that when the alien offered to wash them, "Chilling with Cartman all the time definitely does not do wonders for ones mental health."

Kyle gives a laugh, the kind that leaves teeth too sharp on full display. "Totally, I swear to fuck that asshole needs therapy," He stills his tail from wagging like he's a little kid, except, when he was a little kid he tied his tail up so it wouldn't be exposed in an all too human world. An extremely uncaring world for anything different then what they know as normalcy.

"He needs so much therapy," Kenny answered with, "See you tomorrow?"

"On our patrol, I'll make sure your suit is washed," Kyle said, throwing an arm to the side, an invitation for a hug. He wouldn't be sad if Kenny didn't take it, but he still can't help the way his heart skips several beats when he gets one. An anchoring tightness enveloping him, squeezing a comfortable amount on his rib cage that would hurt if he was human.

"Thanks Kyle," Kenny said quietly, head propped near Kyles shoulder but not quite tall enough to rest it on top. He pushes himself on his tippy toes to press the top of his head to the bottom of Kyles chin. He takes a dramatic step back and maybe Kyles tail is swaying a little bit with a silky soft comfort residing on his skin. He clasps his hands together, "Tomorrow."

"Yeah man, see you then," Kyle said, the instant he realized his tail was doing the thing he stilled it entirely. He felt a slight singe of cyan embarrassment. Stupid alien anatomy. Giving away how he feels.

Kenny pivots on his heel and gives a wave, "See ya man!" His steps are light and Kyle is watching with maybe a little bit too much intent.

He has zero legal rights to do so, but emotional and psychological rights? He has plenty. The first one being that he might've imprinted on Kenny the second his family landed on earth. He might've latched onto both Mysterion and Kenny like an orphan duckling in his childhood era of existing- so much so that he couldn't help the absolute giddiness when he learned they were the same. Maybe he got a little bit too attached to Kenny compared to everyone else in a human sense. But in an alien sense, in his instinctual sense, he was the perfect amount of attached considering how he thought of Kenny.

The second reason he stared was because Kenny had an undeniably amazing ass. That wasn't just personal opinion either, they held a vote after a particularly odd argument in the Freedom Pals lair. Kenny won by an absolute fucking landslide in the votes and voter fraud having taken place can't be confirmed or denied by anyone.

Except for Doctor Timothy of course.

And if there is a god, Kyle is praying everyday that the human one makes sure that Doctor Timothy doesn't look into the legitimacy of the votes.

Kyle barely drags himself back from his thoughts, he's been told he can get lost in them sometimes. His tail is wagging again, the multicolored diamond-like frills undulate a little bit. He swings the front door shut reluctantly when he can't see Kenny anymore. He tugs off his gloves and tosses them in a pile alongside his hat, letting the splotchy cyan coloration of his skin show. He makes his way up to his bedroom, but he finds his impossibly human little brother standing in his doorway.

"Ike, get out of the way," Kyle said sternly, giving a bit of a growl under his voice. His adoptive brother just quirks a brow in that annoying manner he learned from the humans.

Ike clears his throat, "No."

"Well why not?" Kyle questioned, growl snuffed and replaced with something louder and more resonant, it vibrated in his brothers flesh. It was something that Ike long since lost the ability to be intimidated by.

"When are you gonna stop inviting over your little posse of partners eh?" Ike asked, crossing one arm over the other. His tone was nothing but accusatory, Kyle saw through it.

"Are you jealous?" Came Kyles instant reaction.

"No," Ike responded with far too fast to be true.

"I'll play some video games with you on Thursday," Kyle offered.

Ike moved out of the way, "Enjoy wallowing in your disgusting room bud."

Kyle ignored him with nothing more than an eye roll, he made a point of slamming his door shut. He kicked aside a small heap of whatever, a mix of something or other he'd been intending to clean up. He gently picks up a small stack of comics Kenny had lent him and places them on his desk. Right beside the Mysterion charm. And the Mysterion action figure. And the other pieces of shitty Mysterion merchandise he had bought.

Okay, yeah, maybe he had a little bit too much Mysterion merchandise. He was just trying to put some extra cash into Kenny's pocket for when money is tight around the house. He just wanted to make sure his best friend was living a decent life, it wouldn't be enough to give him the life Kyle knew Kenny deserved, but it would help.

He takes hold of Kennys outfit and empties the contents of the pockets into a small bin. Loose change, granola bar wrappers, pocket knife, lock pick, the usual stuff he carried around for hero duties and then some. Kyle shakes the hood loose of any twigs or leaves and something large enough to clatter as it hits the metal netting of the bin falls out. His pointed ear gives a flick at the noise, he's dropping to the ground and pulling it out in a second.

He's completely enveloped in the mystery of what was hidden in Kennys hood because A: fucking genius hiding spot, and B: this could be what Kenny was hiding. It could be exactly what Kenny was trying so hard to keep under the radar, what he successfully kept hidden from everyone's prying eyes.

He came up with a tape, jet black, scratched plastic and a cracked see through window bit. There are silver markings across the black, seemingly unpredictable and laid out with either sharpie ink or a paint pen. The paper label is coffee stained and reads the date, recorded last month (why it's still on Kennys person is odd). The log number is left blank, presumably stated in the recording.

It was a jackpot and somewhere in the back of Kyles mind he knew he should ignore it. He knew this was shattering every rule in the book and that he'd be shattering his friendship with Kenny, Mysterion and Human Kite would probably stop being a dynamic duo at that.

But, he needed to know.

He absolutely fucking needed to know.

He wouldn't dare speak it too anyone ever, and he'd return it to the hood right afterwards. He wouldn't even tell Kenny that he listened to it, he'd just sleep at night knowing exactly what Kennys secret is. And that would be more than good enough for Kyle, he wouldn't need anything else.

He reaches blindly for his cassette player, the one he's held onto since he was young. One of his earliest earthly possessions, one he still cherished and used every day. He popped out the cassette already inside and gently placed the pilfered audio into it. He eagerly grabs his earbuds before pressing play.

Professor Chaos is pretty fucking sure doing this shit is helping out my mental state or whatever He doesn't know what he's dealing with He doesn't know that he's playing with fire trying to get me to spill my guts on his fancy therapy chair But, here I am, sitting on top of the police station fully decked out in my Mysterion persona just chatting it up with myself again

I already know exactly what the problem here is Chaos, the center of this massive shitfuck that even paid therapy couldn't fix!

I've probably said that a million times in every one of these stupid fucking recordings... shit I forgot to do that log date ha!

Ahem, log three, topic. Whatever comes out of my fucking mouth.

Kyle presses pause hesitantly.

Oh god.

This is an audio diary, just for spilling Kennys guts.

And he's listening to it.

He should stop. He really, truly, should.

But he doesn't.

Instead he presses play.

Where were we? Right, right, just saying whatever shit that comes to my mind . . . I'm pretty sure that Kyle thinks I can't see him stare at me whenever I fucking bend over or walk away I'm not complaining, I'm flattered really But jeez man just say it outright if you think I have a hot ass

The pause button is slammed this time.

Kyles face is burning up because Kenny knew apparently, he knew that Kyle stared at him at every chance he gets. He feels his stomach twist a bit because oh man, he got caught staring and Kenny didn't even mention. The usage of 'you' makes Kyle feel even more called out on the matter.

He could drop out now, maybe that's the secret, that Kenny knows he stares. He could sleep at night saying that's the thing he's keeping hidden.

I can't talk much if you put everything into consideration But still! Human Kite himself staring at my ass . . . That's fucking awesome if I'm being honest I would hope I'm being honest cause who else is gonna listen to the truth aside from this stupid tape

Like, I'm just doing whatever and I can feel it He is staring holes into me, somedays it's like he's hitting me with those fucking laser eyes! That'd be hilarious actually One second I'm loading a dishwasher and the next my ass is on fire because he couldn't help but stare The Coon would be laughing about that till he's dead

So would Toolshed

And Call Girl

And Mosquito

We'd all get a good laugh out of it

Except for Human Kite

I think he would die of embarrassment if he lit my ass on fire It'd be adorable Bright blue face, ears drooping the slightest bit, maybe his tail would do something I don't know He'd probably say sorry a lot All I know is that after I'm done putting out the fire I'd say "it's fine!" And then I'd think about how cute he looks for weeks on end

Fuck he's absolutely amazing in every sense of the word God, I'm supposed to use these to rant about my shitty family Not gush about my partner in heroics . Oh well

He's perfect! I swear on my mothers grave he is everything That grin he gets whenever he's about to blow someone sky high I can see almost all of his fangs when he does it, which are fucking scary by the way But I'll be damned if it isn't a little bit hot to think about He could kill me and I'll love him He could do absolutely anything to me and I'd still want him so fucking much

And!

And, and, and There's this little thing he does whenever he gets happy Where the weird bits on his tail like, shake? They move, his tail also wags But the frills don't move unless he's actually happy He can fake the wag but he can't fake the frills moving

It's so fucking cute and weird and different I love it

Anyways! This is South Parks number one worst superhero coming to you live from the top of the police station!

. . .

Shit I think someone heard me

Kyle is paralyzed as the tape ends, letting every single word soak into his brain. His tail is doing the thing, it's wagging. Every nerve in his body is alight and he feels his stomach twisting into knots. His claws are digging into the plastic of the tape player as he just stares. His eyes end up resting on his desk, his laptop, with all of his external attachments.

There's a rush to his movements as he grabs it and the oddest, most useless, thing he owns. A reverse recorder of sorts, a simple thing he crafted but never thought he'd have a chance to use. He flips open the top and jams the plug into it's socket before sliding the cassette as gently as possible into the gadget. He should not be doing this, he really shouldn't be doing this.

But he can't keep the cassette to keep hold of the audio, he needs too extract it if he ever wants to hear it again. Which is wrong, and bad, and he absolutely needs to stop but he isn't. He's clicking 'extract' and watching that loading bar fill up gratingly slow.

He places down his laptop gently and balls up the fabrics before leaving. There's a twist of wrong in his gut, but he ignores it as he swings open the washing machine door. He knows how fucking wretched this is, that he'll be absolutely ruined if anyone finds out. He won't be able to live down the shame of having anyone catch word that he knows the secret. That he knows what it is that's keeping Kenny wound up so tightly.

He'll just keep his mouth shut.

Real easy.

Real simple.

-/-/-/-

Kyle might be abusing the knowledge he garnered from the tape, maybe a little bit. He might be curling up next Kenny a little bit more than often, hunched under a flowing purple cape like a cougar despite the height difference. Just maybe he's resting his head atop Kenny's a little bit more than usual, purring a little bit louder whenever he comes into contact with Kenny.

He really doesn't care though, maybe there's a twisted sense of catharsis he gets from the knowledge that yes, it's reciprocated, despite doing nothing to change it. Being awkward homies acting like there's nothing going on below the surface is entirely acceptable and everything that he's wanted from Kenny the second his family landed. Definitely. Absolutely. He didn't imprint. He absolutely did not imprint. He killed off that instinct way back in fourth grade.

Right after he met Kenny.

One second too late. And he is one hundred percent sure everyone in his family can see it, even Ike! Except, the little shit will hold it over him if he gets a chance. Taunting and teasing that Kyle imprinted on his best friend instead of literally anyone else. Of course, the asshole knows better what with every member of his family sporting claws made to rend flesh.

"Kyle!"

The Broflovski perks up a bit at his name being called. Stan sits down across from him, sliding his safety glasses off as he does so.

"You good man?" Stan asked, Kyle nodded.

"I'm great, amazing even," Kyle said, he gestured vaguely as he spoke.

Stan stayed silent for a moment.

Kyle heaved a heavy sigh, "I think I fucked up the first day I landed."

"That was years ago, and just now it's affecting you?" Stan asked. He kicked up his feet to rest on the table.

"Yeah, and Kenny's sort of being an ass. He can trust us, he can trust us more than anyone else in this fucking town!" There's an exasperated exhale as he comes down from the near shout, "How come he's not telling us?"

Stan shrugged, "That's his business, if he doesn't want to tell us, just respect that."

"But-"

"Respect it," Stan pressed, "He might fess up to you first if you just give him time."

"I doubt it," Kyle muttered, barely loud enough for Stan to hear. His tail is snaking around his waist tightly. Tight enough he can feel it sting just a bit.

"Dude. Firstly, calm down," Stan said, Kyle glared at him. The ravenette simply gestured to the prehensile appendage squeezing the air from Kyle's lungs. He drops it, "Secondly, you're his best friend. If he's telling anyone it'll be you."

Kyle gave a hesitant nod, "Yeah, that makes sense."

Stan gave him a grin, comforting, grounding. He dropped down his feet and leaned over the table, holding out a hand. Kyle placed his atop Stan's, his hand was larger. Cyan tinted fingertips tapping along an open palm, "It's fine man, he'll tell us soon enough. It's not like he can keep a secret forever."

"No, you're right man. He can't keep a secret from us forever," Kyle said, a small grin on his face as Stan tightened his grip.

"Now stop stressing so much," Stan said, "Go get some calamari or whatever."

-/-/-/-

Kyle finds the next tape in a vent on top of Unplanned Parenthood while he's on a mission. He's quick to slide it into his pocket before Mysterion can notice. He can't just, jeopardize this discovery, he isn't even sure if he can call it a discovery if he's sure of what it is.

A shoulder collides with him and he stumbles just a bit. His arms are quick to push Mysterion right back up again. There's a crack down his lips and he looks to Kyle, "Get your head in the game, Kite!"

A blast of something or other comes straight at them and there's a brief second of hesitation before Mysterion is tossed out of the way and Kyle is ducking. The blonde is easily caught again and placed down, "Gladly," He takes Mysterion's hand, "Show me how?"

There's a smirk, bone chilling to many but it only makes Kyle's stomach flutter. Mysterion tightens his grip briefly, "Let's go then."

He's quick to launch Kyle forward with a running start, the alien tackling down whichever thug is on them now. Claws detract and tear through silver hued gloves as he snarls, easily dwarfing the goon. They're shaking as Kyle bares his fangs, tail thrashing about and body hunched in a predatory stance. Is he snarling? He is, he's proud of it too as he brings himself to be face to face.

He rears back on his knees, clawed hand raised and ready to slash. He goes to tear open their throat, but a grasp at the back of his collar prevents him. It short circuits him a little bit as the fabric of gloves press against cool skin.

"My friend here isn't exactly human," Mysterion said calmly as he released Kyle's costume. He stayed still and glanced up to Mysterion.

There's a shaky nod from the thug.

"Now, you have two options," Mysterion said. His tongue briefly slid between lips to capture the blood seeping from the crack. He circled around the dropped person a bit more, "Number one, you leave. You run to Canada, and never bother us again."

No response.

"Number two, Human Kite kills you. Right here," Mysterion snaps his fingers and as practiced Kyle gnashes his fangs with a growl, "Right now."

"I'll run! I'll leave!" The convict practically screamed.

"Fine, Kite?" Mysterion said. Claws come down atop the goons eye, deep enough to scar and maybe to go blind in one eye. Kyle stands up, red contrasting the cyan of his fingertips, he watches them run and revels in it.

Once they're far off, darting down staircases and running through the streets, does Mysterion take a seat. He drops down on the roof and Kyle takes a seat beside him, frilled tail wrapping around Mysterion's waist. A hand comes to push back the hood and he leans his head on Kyle's shoulder.

"Dude, being a hero is so sucky," Kenny said with a light laugh, "I just wanna get killed sometimes."

Kyle gives a hum.

"I just come back anyways, but we seriously haven't faced anyone actually dangerous in years," Kenny said, gesturing vaguely as he spoke to drive in the point.

"Definitely," Kyle said, Kenny dropped down onto his back. Kyle leans back to meet him in eye contact.

"I miss when this shit was fun," Kenny said, a sigh on his voice as he spoke.

"I think that most of us do," Kyle answered with. His tongue, forked, flickered out for a brief second.

"You're just like a snake man," Kenny said.

Cyan rose to Kyle's face, "The hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Like, your tongue. It looks like a snakes, forked," Kenny said, he did the spock thing with his hands as if to display forked. He stuck out his tongue at the same time, "It's really fucking cool. You got some scales right? And those weird little ridges on your back? All of those are snake-y things, Kyle."

"Yeah, cause I'm a freakish little dude," Kyle said extravagantly, as if to make his point he gave a set jazz hands, gloves off to expose to smallest bit of cyan webbing. He sticks out his tongue between too sharp teeth, "Absolutely monstrous."

"I'd hardly say 'little' is the word for you, ya six foot monster," Kenny taunted back, "And I love ya for that man."

Kyle barely beats down the intensifying flush on his face, "Well, won't stop me from being at least a little bit snake like. It's more fun to be a weird creature than a human anyways," He drops down and nudges Kenny's shoulder with his head until he sits up and nudges off the silvery cape. A hand rests in a tangle of red curls for a brief moment before the alien curls around Kenny's back.

"You're also very... Cat. Very feline. Very not human," Kenny said, words teasing but loving nonetheless.

He rested his hand on top of Kyle's head, gently sifting through a sea of red. He leaned back on his friends torso a little bit as he brought a second hand to run through Kyle's hair. He shifted around a bit to rest almost on his knees, facing Kyle just a bit more. His side pressed to Kyle's lower rib cage, his hands didn't leave the redheads hair for a second. He slid down his friends face just a bit, callused thumbs briefly brushing over the ever sensitive auricle fins he had. Were they fins? Not quite, just cyan flares at the base of pointed ears.

He let his fingers scritch just past the back of Kyle's ears, resting atop the buzzed patch of hair. Olive green eyes fluttered shut as Kenny just rubbed right there, the sweet spot. He slumps into Kenny's hands, chin resting at the heel of his palm (he can't see the gentle smile on Kenny's face).

The blonde nearly explodes when Kyle starts to purr. It starts soft, but it slowly grows, shaking Kenny down to his core with his side pressed against Kyle's diaphragm. Or his lungs. Or his whatever it is that makes that wonderful rumbling sound giving Kenny enough serotonin to live forever. He already will, but this is making that eternity sound a lot more bearable. Then he hears a thudding- three, soft thumps before it resets and happens again. His tail is wagging, Kyle really likes being scratched behind the ears apparently.

Kenny's pretty sure he's falling asleep with the pads of his finger, despite being rough and scratchy, gently rubbing behind his ears. He lifts his fingers for a second too long and Kyle opens up his eyes, "Why'd you stop?" He sounds groggy and disappointed, he stops purring.

Kenny picks up the motions, "You were falling asleep," He tosses his cape over Kyle's form.

Kyle lazily blinks, one eye, then the other. He shrugs the best he can, "And?"

"Good point," Kenny said on a hum as he twirls a finger through curls, a light tug.

Kyle's tail starts to thud again and he's sure the afterglow of this will never fade.

-/-/-/-

Kyle's feeling a little bit guilty about tuning into this tape.

Not nearly enough to make him stop though.

He drops down on his bed comfortably, he doesn't even bother to put in his earbuds. His parents are out for the weekend, his brother is at Kenny's to hang out with Karen, presumably fishing. He knows that he's bound to get a call from Ike sometime in the night for a ride, for Ike, Karen, and maybe even Kenny if it's really rough. But, he'll have enough time to listen to the entirety of it.

He presses play.

I think shits getting worse I'm not using these things properly I should be using these for literally anything else! I could talk about how much I worry about my sister, or my money problems, or whatever!

But I'm still using these tapes for just a few little things

Mostly talking about Kite Not gonna use his actual name this time cause someone heard me last week I'm pretty sure I ran them out of town For good

Do I feel bad about that?

Absolutely not

Gotta protect a mans privacy, even if that means blood and intimidation Which uh, I swear it didn't involve blood This time at least

Now, log number... nine? I'm pretty sure this is number nine I would go back and check 'em all out again, but I lost one of them No clue where the little fucker went But it's gone

Kyle pauses the tape. There's missing ones- he needs to find it before Kenny does. He can just put it back later, like he'll do with this one after he's done thoroughly listening to it. He put back the last one, slid it back into the hidden pocket and acted like it never happened.

Of course, since then he's always checked the hidden pocket whenever he got a chance to do so. But, he's been unlucky in terms of finding any up until this one which leaves him with the idea that the rest have been planted around town. He shuts off his rampant train of thought- he is not going to try and sleuth out all of the tapes. He still has some respect for Kenny's privacy, he still has some intention to keep their friendship intact, and most importantly, he still has full intention of never acting on any of what he hears in said tapes.

That would give away that he's been listening to them, a risk he can't take. He clicks the button again.

Look, I always knew Kite was a weird one Everyone does The guys alien, so we cut him some slack on human things that go mostly unspoken

Conversational subtext, call frequency, having beer on ice- simple shit

And in turn, we also try to learn a bit about his species culture I don't even know if species is the right word Does that make me racist? Are aliens even a race to be racist against? Could I even discriminate if only... Three, exist on earth?

So many questions, so little time

Of course, there isn't exactly a lot about his kind I doubt there's a lot of his kind His mom keeps making quips about how all of them would come to earth if it was easier to integrate But honestly? If you just got rid of the alien extremities I would not be able to tell that Kite isn't human

Same with his parents The lot of them blend in perfectly Don't know why she stresses so much And even if they didn't, they have a human to vouch for them A bunch of humans actually

There's a brief pause where Kyle let's himself think about that for a moment. He's never had a chance to think about it before. He doesn't really dwell on it for longer than a minute, flipping himself onto his stomach. His tail lazily sways back and forth as he listens/

I think I got off point there

Allow me to relocate and get back to what I was supposed to be talking about

. . .

There is a fucking line, Kite! You stay on your side of the line! You can't just walk over to my side! Just waltz on over like you own the fucking place! And just, act like it's no big deal! You just sit down right next to me. Like. Right next to me, are thighs are fucking pressed against each other and you lean into me! You just, push your head up against my shoulder like a fucking cat until I give you attention

Which I always do I'm weak

And then you start purring, and your tail does a dumb little wag! And I'm sitting there, begging and pleading, that I don't do something dumb You're putty in my fucking hands Asking me to just shower you in attention! I do, I always do- I always sit there and give you attention

Whatever it is you want I'd give it to you I'd do it for you Anything, for you

The voice softens just a bit, lowering itself. He sounded so very, very mad. Not even mad, just agitated. His voice is heady, wrapped into the narrative he's spinning so accurately. Kyle feels his stomach flip at the words droning so deeply into his skull. The notions made his skin tingle, heart pulsating so very fast he wouldn't be shocked if it exploded all at once.

But no! I stay on my side of the line Like a good boy

Because I don't wanna freak him out Or scare him off

I feel like such a fucking perv And I am a bit pervy I am fully aware of the fact that I am known to stare if someone fine is walking by

But.

To stare at Kite? To want Kite?

It definitely caught me off guard

And he isn't human He doesn't get it I touch him I feel like I'm dirtying him Even if it's just a high five! I have too much on mind for this shit

I see that idiot and you know what I wanna to do?

Do you even wanna to know what I want do to him?

Kyle slams the pause button, he can feel his nerves shoot up in shock. His tail has went from lazily thumping back and forth to wagging like that of a dogs. The minute ridges on his back are shaking, just a bit. He may be mildly cold-blooded, but right now he really can't tell.

He looks down at his hands and they're entirely cyan, normally just a little bit at the tips. The hue shoots up his forearms. He can practically hear his heartbeat pounding in his chest, the sound bangs back and forth in his skull.

Oh.

Oh he's opened up a massive can of worms with this tape.

He keeps listening

I'd just

.

I would-

.

Fuck man I can't even say it out loud I don't know what I was thinking!

I'm sitting on top of city hall and I was about to go off about how I'd fuck him!

Could I even fuck him? Are the species compatible? Do aliens even have reproductive organs?

They must They totally do How else do they, how do they reproduce? Eggs?

. . . Nasty

But I would fucking worship him I would do whatever he asked me too Even if he's too unversed in human reproduction to ask me too fuck him up I'd still do what he asks me too

You wanna go out at that new pizza place that charges by the minute? Let's go darling

You wanna go check out the newest arcade cabinet? Baby, the cars already running

You want me to get your logo as a tramp stamp? I might not do that one actually . That's a lie I'd do anything for him

. . .

God, I'm such a mess I need real therapy

Kyle has long since buried his face in a pillow to muffle his screams (although they're closer to high pitched squeals) and cover his ears. He feels like he's running a fever, a really, really bad fever. Every square inch of his body is on fire and he can't care much that he's clawing into his pillow, downy soft feathers spilling from gouges.

He's drawing a blank.

A complete and utter blank.

He hears the click signalling it's over and he feels his stomach twist in regret.

It's a lot easier to hide that you know something if said something isn't... that, whole thing that just happened. His ears are ringing a little bit as the words ping around the sides of his head, like a game of Pong. The pillow is still keeping his face covered as he rolls onto his back, then his side, then his front, and his side again, knees pressed flush against the wall. Fuck, he feels like he's sixteen all over again, and that was just three years ago! He's too young to be having moments like this.

He mechanizes his breathing, eyes wide open as he stares at the darkness of the space themed pillow case in front of him. Sheer darkness with the occasional blip of a lighter hue. His tail is still thrashing, whipping back and forth madly, he's sure it would scuff the wall if it hit it.

He has to come down from his safe space eventually. Even if that safe space is merely a pillow pressed to his face.

He tosses aside the pillow and rolls onto his back and just stares at the ceiling.

His entire existence has officially been flipped on it's head.

He hears his cell phone ring and he reaches for it, answering before even checking whose calling. He gives a cracked, "Hello?"

"Dude are you good? You sound like you've just been crying," Came Kenny's voice, concern laid on thick.

Kyle nearly hangs upon the spot but instead he bites his tongue and doesn't say a word.

"Look man, dads being a bit of an ass, and Ike was wondering if you could come pick him up for the umpteenth time," Kenny said. He gave a hum, "Could Karen tag along?"

"Totally man," Kyle answered with as he sat up, trying so hard to still his tail. It swiped back and forth atop the blankets, he felt a little bit wrong about not telling Kenny what he knew right now. But, this is a bad time to do that, any Kyle can lie his way out of it again. He hesitates before adding, "You need an escape too?"

"It'd be nice, but you already sound tired. Did I catch you at a bad time? Were you perhaps 'jacking it', my fine, alien friend?" Kenny asked tauntingly, his smugness was palatable.

Kyle wished he could just say 'yeah' and move on instead of carefully think over his next words. Life would much simpler if his head didn't catch on the usage of 'fine' in referral to himself. His mouth felt dry but he choked out some words anyways. "Dude, what makes you think I even have a dick? I got that weird ass alien biology, don't I?""

There's a laugh on the other side, "Hey man, not all of my shots are gonna be spot on. But really, if you don't want me over I won't come," There's an tenderness to his voice and the contrast to the almost gritty and desperate tone he had on the tape gives Kyle whiplash.

"You can if you want too, but I'll probably pass out pretty fast," Kyle lied. He'd just lay in bed, wide awake, for potentially hours with Kenny on the floor beside him. That's how it usually went at least.

"Going full on feral like you did earlier takes a lot out of you, doesn't it?" Kenny asked.

Silence.

"Silent treatment, did I strike a nerve bud? Regardless, we'll be out front in ten," Kenny said, "I can make you some hot coco if you'd like."

"That'd be nice," Was Kyle's weak response.

-/-/-/-

The night was a lot more tense than either of them wanted it to be.

They usually shared a hug before actually getting into bed and trying to pass out. And if not that then Kyle would subtly demand some time to just, co-exist, in very close proximity to each other. In even more minimal situations, they would just share some words of 'love you bro' and call it a night.

None of that transpired.

"I can just go home man," Kenny offered at the break of two AM.

Kyle rolled over to the edge of his bed, leaning over it just a bit, "It's fine."

"Is something wrong? Cause like, you've just been acting... off, lately," Kenny said gently as he propped himself on his elbows, both resting on his pillow.

"Nothings wrong," Kyle said, he crossed his arms and rested his chin on them, "I am gonna ask my parents some questions when they get back."

"About what?" Kenny asked quietly, as though he were afraid of shattering the night if he spoke too loud. The navy walls cast deep blue across the room, reflecting the moonlight in a comfortable darkness.

Kyle stayed silent.

"Alien stuff?" Kenny asked.

Kyle nodded, "Yeah, alien stuff."

"Fun," Kenny answered with a scoff. He dropped back down again and turned to face Kyle, Kyle's bed frame at least, "But for real, you're just- somethings going on in your head. I can tell."

Kyle shrugged, "It's stupid."

"I won't judge man, you're my best friend," Kenny said. And he said it in such a way that for a brief second Kyle forgot about the tapes entirely.

"How are you supposed to talk to someone about something you don't want too?" Kyle asked, trying to withhold and give equal amounts of information.

Kenny paused, "Work out the words in your head. Practice once or twice, maybe even record it. Figure out what needs to be reworked. Write it out if you must- just get it out of your head."

Kyle nodded.

"Trust me man, the second it's out of your head and off your shoulders, life will be easier," Kenny explained reassuringly, "Even if it's only for a second or two."

"Thanks bro," Kyle said quietly.

"Least I can do," Kenny said.

There's a beat of hesitance, "Love you man."

"Love you too," And then Kenny turns away from him, tugging the blanket up to his shoulders.

-/-/-/-

Kyle's pretty sure that Kenny is onto him at this rate, but, he tries to ignore the terrible slithering sensation that he's been caught.

He just focuses on whatever comes next.

This time it's none other than The Coon himself deciding he needs to bring something up with Kyle. Silence drenches the room in the worst way possible as he sits across from the hybrid. Furred ears are swiveled to face Kyle and it makes him feel impossibly nervous, he knows that Cartman can hear his heartbeat. Can it hear pick up speed when Stan sits down beside him, even more so when Wendy joins.

And then Clyde, Timothy, Jimmy- all on one side of Cartman.

Tweek and Craig sit down on the side with Wendy and Stan, Scott as well.

"We know you figured it out, Kyle," Cartman said calmly, tone frigid in a way that makes Kyle feel paralyzed. The hybrid clasps his hands together in front of himself on the table.

"Figured what out?" Kyle snaps back with, trying his hardest to muster the usual snarkiness he has around Cartman. Bute he fails, miserably at that. He just sounds pathetic, grasping at straws if nothing else.

"Don't play dumb," Wendy said, she sounded sharp. She may be tough as nails, and normally Kyle respects that, admires it even, but when it's directed towards him? He gets why people run from Call Girl.

"Why in the cosmos should I tell the likes of you?" Kyle answered with, feebly trying to defend Kenny's privacy.

A privacy that he had already thoroughly breached and ravaged, alongside the unspoken trust they had. He had wrecked it, ruined it, destroyed it- but he could salvage it from the fact Kenny didn't know that Kyle knew.

"You can trust us, Kyle. We're your best friends," Clyde said. And he was right, he was so right.

Kyle's tail snaked itself around the chair leg, "Really guys, I don't know what you're talking about-"

"His secret, Kyle," Cartman said, "Tell us."

"I," He hesitated, "I can't."

"You've already fucked up your relationship with him enough, Kyle. I got Wendy to do a deep dive on your species, and of the few things she could find, she discovered this," Cartman said. He raised a folder, an awful beige and orange hue, and slid it over to Kyle.

The alien hesitantly took it. It was three pages thick, presumably doubled sided. He opened it and skimmed through the headings, he knew every single trait in and out. He paused at the highlighted one, "You're joking."

"This is serious man," Stan said, "We wouldn't just accuse you of imprinting of Kenny without any basis."

"That's stupid. He's my best friend. That's all, that's our dynamic- the kind of dynamic that rakes in loads of cash," Kyle defended with, hoping that pressing on Cartman's one pressure point would make him let up. He slammed the folder shut and slid it back, "Even if I did imprint on him, it would ruin the franchise and never be reciprocated."

"Then tell us what the secret is, you have nothing to lose, no? Just a friend, they come and go on earth," Cartman said. He was calling Kyle's bluff, did he even realize it? He probably did, or if he didn't, he'd snoop until he did.

"Ask Professor Chaos instead, he knows more," Kyle said, trying so, so hard to deflect. The tension pooling everywhere under his skin was agonizing. He needed an out so bad, he needed an escape so, so fucking bad.

Cartman scoffs, "Already done, he said he was sworn to some oath of secrecy, sent us to you."

Kyle stays silent, forcing eye contact with the sleaze in front of the him. The trash eater himself, scraping tactics from the bottom of the barrel.

"Just tell us, no harm will come from it," Cartman said sternly.

"It'll destroy my friendship with Kenny," Kyle snarled out.

"No new harm will come from it, we all know the damage has been done my friend, it's just yet to be discovered," Cartman said, words cutting into Kyle like a knife.

He bites his tongue, Cartman's right, "Give me a week to collect more information on the subject, then I'll report back with the news."

There's a smug and satisfied grin on Cartman's face as he leans back, "See? That wasn't so hard, was now?"

Kyle stands up and pushes away from the table, "I'm going."

"Don't forget about your patrol with Mysterion tomorrow evening, Kite!" Cartman calls out, head leaned back on his chairs backrest.

Kyle's tail is swaying angrily, "Fuck off."

His fangs are grinding against each other as he storms off, if it weren't for the fact he was in suit he would punt the closest chihuahua like a football. Or do something else just as dumb. Maybe kick a fire hydrant and hope it doesn't dent, or punch a tree. Something to make the tense feeling uncoil, to let himself just relax for one second.

He doesn't deserve that though.

He's been uprooting the very foundations of his friendship with Kenny, all because of some morbid curiosity. And Kenny doesn't even fucking know. Kyle is just getting away with it cause he's being awfully slick with how careful he is to put everything back exactly where he found it.

The worst part is how long it's taken for him to feel genuine guilt about it if nothing else. He's such a fucking snake, biting onto his relationship with Kenny and refusing to let go. Sinking fangs deeper and deeper, searching for more even though it's cannibalizing itself. And the first taste is all that it takes to get someone hooked, shame that the thing he got a taste of was metaphorical guts. Kenny just hasn't realized he's stuck in this ouroboros of a relationship.

Despite that, a really twisted and messed up part of him persists in wondering when he'll find the next tape.

-/-/-/-

He finds the next tape almost a week after the interrogation.

Although, we're using the term 'find' rather loosely here. Instead it sort of, fell directly into his lap. And despite knowing better and not wanting to go any further, he still held onto it and didn't let go.

"Thanks for washing my gear man," Kenny said as he stood at the door, Kyle held the bundle of purple fabrics in hand.

He gave a smile, as convincing as he could manage, "No problem man, least I can do."

"See ya tomorrow bro," Kenny said before pivoting on a heel to leave which struck Kyle as odd. The blonde usually loitered for a little bit, chatted casually about whatevers on his head. But none of that came today.

Still, Kyle closed the door and walked down to the luandry room before shaking out the purple. There was that clatter, plastic against unfinished flooring, it was just concrete at the moment. He tossed in the clothing and flipped on the spin cycle with a bit of lavender scented soap. He slid down the front of the washing machine and stared at the tape.

He shouldn't.

He really shouldn't.

He does.

He grips the tape and slams it into the player and hits the play button before he can further question his actions.

I know you're hearing this, Kyle I don't know how long you've been listening to my diary for But it's you It has to be you

Kyle swears his heart stops dead in its tracks. He barely registers that the grit Kenny forces when he's acting out Mysterion has disappeared. That this is just Kenny now.

Who else would be messing with my tapes They're never just right when you put them back You leave scuff marks on the plastic I can fingerprint things, Kyle

I planted this one And log number twelve The rest though? I don't know how many of those you've heard

I'll admit I never meant for number three to fall into your hands I just thought you'd be kind enough to not listen in

. . . How wrong I was

And it's a real shame too You better not have told the rest of the team, Kyle I will make you regret every single breath you've taken if you have

But, that's only if I can get that intel from the gang Do be warned that Cartman is very easy to persuade It won't take me much longer than ten minutes to make him crack

The rest will go even faster Although, I'd give Wendy much longer Craig? He'll be shattering in seven minutes, tops Tweek? Three, maybe four Stan? He trusts me more than you'd expect, he won't even fight

I hope I was right about you being smart, Kyle

Kyle's blood turns to ice.

He is so fucked.

At least he didn't tell Cartman.

You already know my big secret And you have two options, Kyle

Option one: Meet me at Starks Pond tonight to confirm how you feel about the contents of these logs. I'm probably sitting there right now

Option two: Don't. This horrible relationship limbo can remain just like this, on my end I've been stuck here for years

Look, Kyle, what you've done here You're forcing my hand I don't have any other options

Do what you want

I clearly can't stop you

The tape is flung from the cassette player to the other side of the room, it hits the wall and cracks. A thousand regrets pool in the pit of Kyle's stomach and he wants to vomit. He also wants to curl up in a ball and die. Or live in Cartman's basement instead, those are all good options.

But in the same breath...

He's being given a choice when he was sure this whole thing he had with Kenny would simply implode, collapse in on itself and die. He has one chance to make this better than it is. He'll never be able to make this right, but, he can at least try and reinforce the breaking pieces before it's entirely broken.

He picks himself up off the ground and starts on his way up the stairs. He freezes at the door, is he gonna do this? Is he gonna go out to Starks Pond and talk like he should've far too long ago?

Yeah, yeah he fucking is.

The real question is if he's actually gonna say whats been fueling his co-dependency with Kenny for so long.

He isn't sure if he'll manage to fess up to the stupidest biological function he has. He'll try, he'll make an attempt to explain exactly what's been conspiring inside of his head without him even realizing for so many years. He'll at the very least get out a couple words to explain the dumbest thing he's been roped into by his own genetics and unfortunate timing.

-/-/-/-

The ever-present snow and ice crunches under Kyle's boots, but that's the last thing he's focusing on. His eyes are trained ahead of hi as he walks along the edge of Starks Pond. His tail is still, a very rare occurrence.

When he reaches the edge of the pond that Kenny's standing at he's lost his words. The blonde is just staring at him, looking for tells. His hands are stuffed in the pockets of his orange jacket, bright orange, pumpkin orange. Kyle can't focus on anything.

"It worked, you nosy little shit," Kenny said, words weaponized with ease.

"Yeah, it worked," Kyle said. He took a step closer, "I'm sorry," and then another, "For everything really," A third step and Kenny tenses, flinching back just a bit. In turn Kyle steps back.

"For what? Did you tell them?" Kenny asked defensively. He sounded scared more than anything else.

"I know better than that Kenny, they did interrogate me though," Kyle explained stiffly.

Kenny gives a hum, "That gets that problem out of the way."

Kyle nods, "Yeah, that it does."

"So, you listened to three, nine, twelve, and seven, right?" Kenny asked.

"Sorry," Kyle said.

"At least have the decency to dignify me with an answer man, you just fucking ruined me. I had to record that final tape five times before it was good enough to use. I swear to god, normally I'd cut you some slack and now you know why, but not this time," Kenny spat sharply, "So, you listened to those tapes, right?"

"Yep, the four that you listed," Kyle said, his attempt to stay professional just made him sound stiff and disjointed.

This time Kenny faltered before speaking, "And your opinions on them?"

"Positive," Kyle answered with faster than a bullet. His tail flicked as he spoke.

"Anything else?" Kenny asked, desperation heavy on his voice. Thick like molasses.

"I think I imprinted on you- which means something different then it does for the ducks!" Kyle was quick to backtrack on his words, Kenny just looked intrigued, "My species has a 'thats the one' instinct. If we find the right person, it activates, and according to my parents at least, it's usually subliminal. When we landed, I imprinted on you- so, to me, you're the one. And for all I know, unless you die and stay dead, that stupid ass hormonal flux won't go down."

Kenny stayed silent.

"I'm stuck fixating on you until one of us dies, my kind mates for life, and unless I submit myself to experimental science the animal part of my brain is gonna keep screaming that you're mine. Which is kind of annoying, and dumb, and gets in the way- and I didn't even realize it until I found that first tape. I've just been infatuated with you since grade four and I don't know how to make it stop," Kyle spilled, some words meshing together in a blend of syllables. Cyan progressively rose to his face the entire time he spoke. He dropped down to the ground, facing away from Kenny and towards the water, "I'm so fucking sorry Kenny."

Kenny took a few tentative steps closer to where Kyle sat, his tail lay curled around him yet limp on the ground. His ears were drooping a bit and he looked ashamed of himself, a little bit distraught at that. "I'm not gonna disown you, Kyle. That'd just be fucking stupid."

"I didn't mean to ruin your life man, you could've been scoring. God, I probably scared off so many people without even realizing it," Kyle choked out weakly. He pressed his nails into the heel of his palm, "I swear I didn't mean to imprint on you. I swear man- I can try and suppress it."

"It's fine, Kyle," Kenny said as he crouched down beside Kyle. He bumped their shoulders together.

No response.

Okay, that was worrying. It struck a particular chord in the depths of Kenny's chest. One very, very similar to the 'my sister is hurt' chord, which unlocks a specific subset of reactions. Those reactions include:

A: Unbridled violence on whoever caused this B: Giving tried and true advice C: Terrible jokes and playful punches D: Just listening with or without a glass of warm milk

None of those options seem optimal, so Kenny improvises.

"I mean, the whole 'imprint' thing doesn't bother me," Kenny said as he sat down behind Kyle. His knees were bent and he rested his head on Kyle's shoulder.

"Dude I fucking ruined your life," Kyle got out quietly, his tail snapped to punctuate his sentence. It wrapped itself around Kenny's thigh, just above his knee.

"Beg to differ," Kenny said as he slowly raised his hands up. He gently placed them at the base of Kyle's skull, he tensed but didn't move. Kenny slowly rubbed circles in just behind Kyle's ears in the hopes it would calm him down.

Kyle leaned back into Kenny a bit, "I'm so fucking sorry."

"Half of those tapes were me going off about how much I adore you and want you, Kyle. I know you have a brain in there, put it to some use," Kenny said, a small grin on his face as he spoke. He could feel Kyle start to purr, "Just think about it."

Kyle paused for a moment, to just let all of the data sink in. He felt like a total idiot when the conclusion formed in his head, "Oh."

"Yeah," Kenny answered with, "Good thing."

"I'm such a fucking idiot," Kyle said with a laugh on his voice. He squeezed a bit tighter around Kenny's leg, constricting, like a snake, "Can't wait to confirm my families suspicions."

"Do they think we're a thing?" Kenny asked as he combed his fingers through Kyle's hair.

Kyle nodded, "Probably, apparently I've been signalling some very, very vulgar and subtle things to you with my tail for the past six years. I didn't even notice my tail was moving half the time, but it was- mom and dad had to explain that to me which was fun."

"Did you stop?" Kenny asked.

"Naw, definitely not," Kyle answered with smugly, "You never knew anyways."

Kenny gives a hum, "I would say I was giving some vulgar signs myself, but humans don't have a good way to do that discretely."

"I've noticed," Kyle said, "I can read half of you like books with all the tells each of you have."

"Guess Ill have to be even more mysterious so the guys don't catch on," Kenny said as Kyle started to purr, the vibrations rapidly picking up in volume. It felt nice.

"They aren't idiots dude," Kyle said, "They'll catch on soon enough."

"Or we could just walk in there holding hands one day, wait for someone to point it out and go 'yeah we're dating now' and just act like nothing has changed," Kenny said, "Even if we don't go to the movies or eat out at restaurants- that'd be funny."

"We'll see what happens first," Kyle answered with. He holds his breath for a beat, "Love you, Kenny," There's a veritable depth to the words now.

"Love you, Kyle," Kenny answered with the same as he always has, Kyle just never noticed the subtext. He presses a brief kiss to Kyle's forehead.

-/-/-/-

Stan is the first one too notice that Kyle and Kenny are different. A good different though. They're more synced up on the field, better at silent communication, just predicting each other in general. It definitely benefits the team as a whole for the crime-fighting, but whether or not the development is good for the franchise is a whole other story.

He's the first one to ask around about it too.

"Hey Wendy, Kyle and Kenny-"

"Are acting off? I noticed," Wendy said, cutting Stan short with ease. She glanced up from her phone, "I'm already scouring about for details."

"Anything actually come up?" Stan asked.

Wendy shook her head, "Nope, you'd assume that there'd be something; but most searches are coming up dry."

"Worth a shot," Stan said with a sigh.

"You should go ask Craig, he's pretty close to Kenny," Wendy offered up and before she could finish her sentence Stan was looking for Craig.

He was sitting at his desk as usual, cruddy costume and all.

"Craig whats up with Kyle and Kenny?" Stan asked.

And without skipping a beat Craig answered with, "They're homosexuals, Stan."

"What?" Came Stan's dead response, words hollow and in disbelief.

Craig nodded to the aforementioned duo walking in, "Go ask why they're holding hands."

Stan faltered.

"Listen, if you're afraid I'm right you should've asked out Kyle sooner to avoid it," Craig blatantly accused, the words forced the air from Stan's lungs like a sucker punch.

Now aware that Craig is going to keep mentally gut punching him, Stan just heads on off to Kyle and Kenny. They are indeed holding hands, and Kyle's tail is wrapped around Kenny's thigh, just above his knee.

"Look, you two," Stan began with.

"Yeah man, what's up?" Kyle asked, and he's hiding a grin poorly. He's sure that it adds to the confusion Stan is displaying.

Kenny was right.

This is pretty fucking funny.

"How come you guys are holding hands?" Stan asked quietly.

"Kyle imprinted on me," Kenny said bluntly, "We're dating now."

"How long has this been going on for?" Stan asked.

Kyle shrugged, "A month, we were waiting for you guys to notice."

Craig gives a smug, "Told you so!" from his desk.

"Were you guys betting on what was happening?" Kenny asked, an undertone of a snicker to his voice.

"No, even if we did Craig would've won," Stan said spitefully.

Kyle grins a bit, "No need to be sour man, you can still break the news to Cartman, I'm sure it'll be hysterical to see his reaction."

"Dude. Let's go find Cartman," Kenny said eagerly, he was practically vibrating where he stood. Hes grinning that gap tooth grin, "I need to see his reaction right now."

"Wanna tag along?" Kyle asked, holding out a hand to Stan.

He refrained from taking it, "Totally man."

Craig sidles up beside the three of them, "I got a camera to record it."

[starrynightnight]

weight of the world

☆ ♡ ☆

welt yang x reader

wc: fuck if i know

a/n: its 1am, this shit aint proofread in any way, and i am running simply on the fact i had to get this outta my head or i couldnt sleep. enjoy, or dont, idc.. if theres any inconsistensies with the lore shhhhh there isnt shshhshhh we retcon shit in this house

notes: gn! reader (at least i think i didnt use any gendered terms for them), reader is implied to have sacrificed themself, i am not familiar with honkai lore AT ALL

☆ ♡ ☆

it was too sudden back then.

the stand against sirin, ottos betrayal - welt had really held his own

and yet, when the dust settled, he couldnt do more than hold your lifeless remains close, tattered from the hell they went through.

he vowed to never forget you. just like he carried humanity, he carried you within his heart.

still, he couldnt help but forget. nothing could replicate your scent, your touch, your love. nothing in this world would even come close to the salvation that was holding you close.

which is why it was both an immense relief and a stab through his chest seeing you again, alive and well, living among 'your' people.

because you were here, right in front of him, offering your assistance in finding and removing the stellaron from your planet. but you werent his.

the 'you' that was welts was now nothing but ash and bittersweet memories, flickering through time.

the threat of the stellaron was soon quelled, thanks to the trailblazers from beyond the stars. while your people celebrated, you sat further away from all the chatter and laughter. big gatherings were never your thing, but for once you could indulge in the glee of your people from afar.

you felt the presence of the older trailblazer before you saw him sit beside you. no words needed to be said. for some reason, silence felt complete beside him.

you tried offering him and his companions the best accomodations your settlement could offer. its the least they deserved after saving your people, and you swear you saw his breath hitch.

it pained welt to say no to you, but he knew if he were to spend one more night here, he would never want to leave.

he would never want to go back home, because deep down he knew it was no longer 'home', not without you.

and you were here.

oh, how hed love to hold you, to kiss you, to completely indulge in you one last time. his hands didnt remember what your skin felt like, he couldnt remember your taste, your touch. time mercilessly eroded all he had of you.

and now you stand before him, and he cant have you, because youre not his.

but you are still you.

so he departs, because if he doesnt, he might never want to leave your side again. welt is a stranger to you in this world, and you are not his.

he leaves you with the words he wished hed told you sooner, before the ash coated your skin. before you ceased to be his.

"you need not carry the weight of the world alone."

[mochiwrites]

ok im finally reading the last 2 chapters of bitter water lets go

Mumbo utters the word ‘betrayed’ and all Grian can feel is disappointment.

you never fail to make me so slapped in the face by characterization that seems so obvious but isnt until you point it out. of course mumbo feels more betrayed than grian would, the nature of their relationships are so different!!! aughhhhh i love i love i love

Mumbo laughs in return, fondly shaking his head. “Pesky man,” he says, voice full of blatant affection.

skdjsjfnsjvhdjsnajabdjshsjsbdbzhajjdfbshs im so normal about them i am so normal about them im so normal about them I KNOW SCARS SECRET JUST SPILLED AND I SHOULD BE MORE DEVASTATED BUT HOW CAN I WITH THIS LINE????

Hurt flashes in Scar’s green depths, and Mumbo feels that hurt reflected in himself.

betrayal hurts but it hurts so good. oh. i feel it in my chest. but im also enjoying this a little too much. it HURTS but its so satisfying to finally have it all in the open. no more deceit and tension and wondering whens the truth gonna come out. of course, theres the tension of whats gonna happen next, but the stabbing truth is so good.

“It’s fire.” A dawning horror befalls him, growing the longer he stares. Scar’s blood runs cold, colder than normal. “And it’s… coming from the direction of the shop.”

IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO TUBBO IM GONNA CRY RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW IN THIS PACKED BUS. MUMBO CAN DIE. SCAR CAN DIE. GRIAN CAN DIE. EVEN PEARL CAN DIE. BUT IF SO MUCH AS A HAIR ON TUBBO OR GRUM OR JRUM'S HEAD IS MOVED BY ANYTHING MORE NEFARIOUS THAN THE WIND, I AM GOING TO SOB AND HEAVE UNTIL I DIE OF DEHYDRATION.

“He’s gone.”

BUT HES NOT DEAD RIGHT? RIGHT??? RIGHT??????? HES NOT DEAD RIGHT??????????? BECAUSE IF HES DEAD THEN SCOTT LOSES HIS BARGAINING CHIP AND THATS NOT GOOD RIGHT?? is he a blood bag. did he turn into a blood bag. did scott turn him into a blood bag. i swear. I SWEAR. AUGHHHHHHHH

:D I was curious to see when you’d pop into my ask box hehe

it’s funny because I was actually worried that people would think grian’s disappointment would feel wrong. but it really does feel right to me ?? like you said, of course the betrayal would hit mumbo harder because mumbo has known scar for so much longer. and the disappointment for grian slides in so naturally, with him getting to know scar and hoping that maybe scar would turn out to be a good person (which he technically does — it’s just… complicated)

but I’m really glad that fit well :D

it’s SO satisfying to finally have them all in the know now :3c like yeah the boys are going through it now, but! hey at least they’re on the same playing field (mostly)

:3

[whonsper]

@watercolorfreckles thanks for the prompts these are so good

please dear GOD someone hold me to these i at least wanna form an idea around each one pertaining to broken eggs. and if you wanna know more about broken eggs, you should totally send me an ask or dm me or check out [this post]

side note i really need to make a broken eggs master post but i keep forgetting :3 if anyone would be interested in that lemme know pls pls

ignore that this is posted on october second no the FUCK it isnt (listen i struggled so much with this one for some reason cut me some slack, its still the first in my brain, i havent gone to sleep yet. its not even 1am)

DAY 1: Whispers

(hey thats just like my name lol)

anything written is subject to change

Flippa, you're growing up in a world that hates you. It wants you dead, it wants you hurt, it wants to completely rob your childhood from you. And I hate that I'm so powerless to do a single fucking thing about it. I'm just as stuck as you are. I don't have any idea what to do, how to escape, how to keep you safe. god you aren't even able to be a kid.

Mariana came over today, he was here to pick you up, it was his week with you. I made sure you were all packed, of course, like a good dad. Definitely didn't forget to grab your favorite shirt or anything to stall you leaving, nothing like that.

Um, Mariana got here and he seemed a bit... strange. You know, walked in the door and shut it really quick, and just stayed there a second, ear almost pressed up against the door. You were so excited, you're always excited to see him, obviously you screamed out of happiness and tried to run up to him. But he shushed you. Like, hand over your mouth, he looked so serious too. I hope you weren't too scared. I hate that you have to be so scared.

Everything was quiet, I didn't hear anything outside. I tried asking what was up, but I got shushed too. Definitely kinda weird, I wouldn't ask questions though. I just grabbed you, pulling you away from the door; I didn't know what Mariana heard or if he was just playing some sick joke.

I started talking to you in a whisper, you know, letting you know everything was fine. And by god I would never lie to you, Flippa, because everything was fine. I promised then and I'll promise now. Everything's fine.

It was really cute, though, when you started talking back in a whisper, almost mimicking me. You're a little shit, you know that? It must've been from Mariana's side of the family, that bastard.

You were laughing though, so you weren't scared, and that's what matters. Mariana even joined in, the two of you were ganging up on me! You're both bastards! I can't believe the amount of betrayal from you both!

Right as you were laughing louder, Mariana stepped away from the door for a second, it didn't feel so dark for a split second. And we all heard a zombie's cry. It sounded so close, I swear I nearly shit myself. But we had to quiet your laughter, and what a moment of symbolism it was. Felt like I was in a goddamn story.

I hugged you close, you looked so scared, it happened so quick. But you were safe, and that's what matters. Mariana stayed by the door, ever the hero unlike me, sword drawn at the first sign of danger. You wanted to join him, but he held you back, pushing you towards the center of the floor, where I was sitting. He came to sit with us a minute later, sword dropping to the ground, arms wrapped around us, his family.

God we really can't have nice things, can we? I hope that, wherever you are, you're free to laugh as loud as you want.

[freckliedan]

#this reminds me of that post by @danielbear about how their images flipped and dan became the crude one and phil became the innocent one #and it really can be chalked up to phil not swearing / wearing colors #and dan swearing / wearing black #it's just interesting anyways i saw ppl connecting to this dnp crafts and my connection is: #i saw ppl on twitter say that phil didnt know he was going to be sacrificed and that he was betrayed #and it's like....once again phil is being coded as innocent bc he screamed while being killed and it's like #yeah..being killed still sucks/hurts even if you want it #idk it's just interesting that phil is literally participating throughout the whole saga #and yet he's STILL be classified as innocent as if he went out into the woods #with dan for shits and giggles #saying he was betrayed and didnt know or didnt think dan was going to really do it and it's like..... #at what point did he give any indications that he didnt know what was going to happen ?????? #like.....idk but innocent phil is so funny to me #video #dnp #anyways ummmmm idk what these tags are about who said that #IDK IDK IT'S JUST SO....it doesnt work if phil doesnt know or isnt in on it like the whole point is the devotion #it's the willingness to die and knowing you’re coming right back like why this whole 'phil didnt know owo BETRAYAL DAN BETRAYED HIM' #like no you dont get it lol (tags via @manchesterau. get peer reviewed!)

phil on being an angel uwu

[Video transcript:

Phil (voice-over): This is quite a good section, because some people do think that I'm, like, the most innocent... lighthearted person in the world.

Dan (voice-over): I think that you're a bit of a martyr. It's weird, the character of AmazingPhil- they're like, (high-pitched demonic voice) HE'S AN ANGEL.

Phil: (crosstalk) Yeah... But, no one is-

Dan: PHIL DIED FOR OUR SINSSS.

Phil: No one is an angel, and, obviously, I do have a sense of humor and I think some things.

Dan: Aw, Phil, we all know that.

Phil: You know that.

Dan: But it is funny how some people build you up into being-

Phil: I think it's just cuz I don't swear on my channel, that's the only thing.

Dan: Yeah.

Phil: But no one's like-

Dan: And that's okay, man. You're still monetized.

Phil: I'm still monetized- (chuckling) That's what's important.

End of transcript.]

[ess-presso]

hi ess! <3 im back🕺

ur so right the universe ships wolfstar. i also saw regulus when stargazing but he was too far away from sirius to be in the picture💔 one day reg, one day.

ALSO happy late lily evans day <3 cant believe i missed her bday. rip lily u wouldve loved taylor swift❤️

tay time! mr perfectly fine, message in a bottle, & last kiss <3

chat time!

i dont think i could force myself to sit through dwd, ive learned enough abt it via osmosis and thats enough for me tbh.

THEY SERIOUSLY DO TAKE PICS OF TREES AND CLOUDS!! it baffles me. like sure maybe the clouds looked particularly nice and i understand that canada has some big ass trees but be fr. also i swear someone was taking a pic of a fucking pigeon once.

ur so right id also lose my mind over a red sock in my laundry. i think thatd be the final straw for me.

i think i have to agree ben barnes' smile in podg is very sirius. dorian gray IS sirius in the same way paul from dune is reg. no joke i almost called paul regulus to my dad the other day. not my finest moment❤️

godspeed on ur exam, u got this💪 drunk procrastinators never lose.

I DID SEE THAT VIDEO OF THE PERSON BITING THE TERRYS ORANGE!! i swear ive never been so mad before. also toblerone def is an essential drunk snack for sure.

that moment sounds so sweet, and it was raining too????? thats literally perfect. no matter how hard i could try i know liv would never dance to jazz w me. definitely considering revoking her best friend status right about now. but its fine because i know shed dance w me to taylor and 1d so that makes up for it <3

geoguessr can be so hard sometimes especially when its in america. like i swear unless its a city with signs i can never get it. like how am i supposed to know that this big ass field was kentucky and not fucking iowa.

L best friends for the win!!!!!! but ur right they lucked out too cause we're incredibly cool so good for them<3

maybe one day my negative rizz will pay off but ur right. until then i'll kick back with my wine & books & fanfics cause thats all i need in life. & damn cursing victoria to fail her exams, u know what thats so valid she deserves it.

likeafunerall's art is SO GOOD. so good. im obsessed with her character designs theyre just so perfect. and omg yes u should totally put them up on ur wall itll look so good. AND YES I SAW THE SOLDIER POET KING ART!!! its so good i cant. likeafunerall never misses.

I SAW THAT APPLETV AD YESTERDAY! i was freaking out like i swear appletv is doing this on purpose.

work song is simply so good. id KILL to see hozier live and for him to perform that song.

if i talk to caesar ill let u know. he was stabbed ~23 times so id say thats on par with a jesus style betrayal (esp since brutus was his close friend) rip julius i do hope u got a lil kiss before they maimed u<3

is alex turner psychic??? thats so funny.

omg not the famous 1975 concert featuring taylor swift.....id be utterly heartbroken. and right?? harry canada exists too u know..... i had tickets to love on tour before covid but then it was cancelled and then he fully REMOVED THE SHOW when he started touring again and now the closest one is in america. sorry harry but i dont love u enough to go to america.

dressing in red and gold is so gryffindor of u. i wear a lot of green so that tracks ig.

dw cruel summer will forever be my fav scream-at-the-top-of-ur-lungs song. its just perfect. dbm simply isnt that kind of song.

omg only ch2 of cr.... i am praying for u . but dont worry its SO good. like yes its heartbreaking but so worth it. i honestly miss the earlier chapters everything was so simple </3

rome is definitely the city of piss and gladiators. i guess not much has changed since antiquity !!

when people are blocking the hall and im just done with them i usually take it upon myself to barrel through them or give them dirty looks (sorry people but i have places to be MOVEW PLEASE)

two middle names is so cool u have options. u can change it up whenever u want u know.

UNCLE MOONY :((((((((

winter <3 and yes i hate when people call it fall. like autumn is such a pretty word. fall is literally so lame . so many people call it fall here and i hate it. its autumn!!!!!!! >:(

good luck on ur chem exam !! telepathically sending all my academic energy to u rn. dont forget to channel the patron saint of academic achievement, remus lupin. AND FUCK PHYSICS!!!!!

coins are so cool. i have one from Iran from 1950 that i got in my change from kfc and its so cool. and a paddington coin??? omg thats so cute.

unicorns and phoenixes are so cool fr. & u know who to call if u ever get bit by a basilisk!

bookstore dates are ideal fr. but only if the other person likes books (but also red flag if they dont......i am not wasting my time on someone who doesnt like books)

stealing money from the bank in monopoly is so real. i used to bribe the banker whenever i got desperate and it never ended well. and yes learn chess!! its so fun and it makes u feel smart.

yes van gogh recreations! she is so cool tbh. now if only i inherited even an ounce of her artistic ability and maybe id be satisfied. and cafe terrace at night is just so pretty. so peaceful and serene. i can imagine quiet jazz playing in the street while u look up at the stars. its so pretty.

OH NOOO sorry abt ur bio exam☹️ (<-girl what the hell is that i justwanted to use an emoji.....anyways) hope ur chem exam goes better!! & bakery + taylor is very good combo. proven to cure all ails.

and omg ur so right. picking out books for each other and then annotating them??? that is SO CUTE!!!!! SO CUTE! u get me.

hozier is completely in my bones too he lives there. i wanna get a hozier tattoo someday too he consumes me fr.

i love being a sports anti!! (badminton ur on thin fucking ice. )

yes proud italian over here🇮🇹💪 i love pasta sm. and omg portuguese?? thats so cool. ive always wanted to visit portugal. ive never actually had portuguese food & i really wanna try it now.

reg is SUCH a black cat. & james absolutely sings horribly in the shower and everyone is so tired of him. sirius prob does too but remus secretly loves it <3 jily night owl-early bird has my heart fr. also the james never getting hungover hc is so funny like Yes. he would get blackout drunk and then wake up at the asscrack of dawn the next day for quidditch practice, thank u.

dorlene forever. sorry peter but those women are gay. and idk how to feel abt reg/remus. ig if its written well its not bad but it feels almost wrong. at least their ship name (moonwater i think) is kinda cute.

i agree the patronuses are quite slytherin but def also ravenclaw (i have gotten ravenclaw multiple times when i take the test so ig thats my secondary house)

luna <3 shes just so cool and i love her funky sense of style.

yes dairy queen is ice cream! but also burgers and stuff too. but theyre known for their ice cream which is so good. if u ever visit north america i recommend.

omg barrs cream soda!!!! ive had that before from a lil british food shop i found & it was so good. better than canadian cream soda for sure.

q review:

this is me trying is so real. burnt out gifted kid syndrome hits like a truck.

omg a black swan that is so cool!! mysterious and shit fr.

my tears ricochet is such a good choice (& cruel summer) it hits every damn time.

ooo shapeshifting very good choice. just think of all the places u could get into by shapeshifting, celeb a-list parties?? the oscars?? buckingham palace?? ur set for life.

messy is so valid & i hate losing socks so mcuh like actually where the fuck did they go.

omg SMARTIES!!!!! i love smarties so much. they dont have them in america and i pity them. jaffa cakes are so good too.

shakespeare is such a good choice hes so cool. to meet The genius himself would be a dream.

work song FOREVERRRR

i love these hype songs. excellent hype vibes.

SNOW!! i love making snowmen sm. its actually snowing here as i type. idk what happened to the 10degree weather but yeah.

lady macbeth and macbeth !!!!! i love this. and omg i was OBSESSED with it in 2017 like OBSESSED. lemme try and guess who's who here.....u have said lu was taller than u so were u georgie? hoping im right.

answering qs:

fuck marlene, marry lily, kill pandora. i love pandora so much but i cant pass up an opportunity with marlene. sorry pandora <3

fuck reg, marry evan, kill barty. i think im too similar to reg to wanna marry him (although he is very wealthy.....) & evan seems like good marriage material so. also killing barty bc its funny.

what i like to spend my money on: mostly clothes and jewelry. and candles sometimes. omg and books how could i forget!!

inside joke with liv: we've got this dumb little handshake we've had since literally forever that we call the bunnyfish (long story, idek how to begin explaining it) im the bunny shes the fish. ive been trying to convince her to get matching bunny and fish tattoos FOREVER but to no success. ill get there someday!!

weird fear: maybe more of an irrational fear but i cannot lean against car doors while theyre moving cause what if it opens and i fall out on to the road and die. like what if. it plagues my life fr.

weirdest dare ive ever done: tbh i cant even remember. i usually pick truth cause my friends can be EVIL and i will not subject myself to their dares. they're never creative enough with their truth questions so its always something dumb like "darkest secret" or "who do u like"

worst impulse buy: luckily nothing huge, but i impulse buy random shit like nail polish or lipstick all the time. i have yet to buy something i fully regret but im sure the day will come!

fav quote ever: AHH okay this is such a good question. my absolute fav is from anne carson's an oresteia:

“Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.”

something about someone wanting to take care of u even when ur at ur worst just KILLS ME. RIPS me apart.

9. fav quote from a fic: this is a basic answer but i really love that line in atyd about james having an ego the size of a lake but a heart to match it. just <3 yes. i love that man so much. theres also a bunch of lines in just lovers by zar that are taken from little women that just kill me every time i read.

10. ever met a celeb: ive never spoken to any but i DID walk past seth rogen like a month ago. and i saw john mulaney with olivia munn over this past summer too it was jarring.

11. fav snack: theres this snack mix i love called humpty dumpty party mix and its SO good. (the cheese one specifically) its got mini pretzels and doritos and puffy cheetos and crunchy cheetos and these little cheesy hoop things in it and its delicious.

12. crush on anyone: (dw ur good i dont mind!) not atm! i think my standards are too high bc of fictional characters and celebs so people irl always pale in comparison. like if ur not james potter or lily evans or sirius black im not wasting my time its simple.

13. who knows me best: definitely liv. she is as much a part of me as i am of her and we can read each others minds. also my dad, im almost a carbon copy of him cause we have the same interests and sense of humour .

14. lover vs getaway car: lover. the hopeless romantic in me had to. i love getaway car but its gonna have to be lover <3

15. all time favourite moment: visiting italy and greece was a dream come true cause ive always wanted to visit since i was a little kid. since it was a school trip i was with my friends and liv ofc and i had the time of my life. seeing the parthenon irl and the colosseum in rome changed the trajectory of my life fr.

16. fav moment with liv: ive got many but one specific one thats really special to me was when i came out to her & fine line by harry styles was playing & she almost crashed the car cause she was crying (WITH HAPPINESS LOL) it was very funny. that song has a special place in my heart bc of that <3 i also love when we go for late night drives and blast music. or when when we go to the beach at sunset with a bottle of wine>>>

17. r(egg) vs r(edge): im a r(redge) truther idc. i know his name is rEGulus but i am Not calling him r(egg) it sounds like EGG!!!!! r(edge) forever.

18. languages: sadly english is the only one i fluently speak. i know some italian but im not fluent (i blame my dad, whos literally from italy but didnt fucking teach me his language. wtf man) i also know some spanish and very very minimal french. i can read basic norwegian as well(i was obsessed with SKAM in 2015 so i had to learn some) BUT in terms of reading, i can read ancient greek and a bit of latin. also aurebesh which is a writing system from star wars (massive fucking nerd alert)

qs for u!

fuck marry kill evan reg barty

fuck marry kill pandora lily marlene

how many languages do u speak?

fav gemstone/crystal/stone?

have u watched the new last of us show? (if u havent u should its SO good)

sea, forest, or mountains?

what was ur dream job when u were a kid?

whats a topic u could talk for hours about?

celeb crush(es)?

spotify or apple music? (or other if u dont use these)

fav constellation?

fav memory with lu?

whats one food u have always wanted to try?

thats all for now! if u see this before u take ur exam GOOD LUCK!!!! u got this. if u see this after i hope it went well. either way remus would be proud <3

-bee

bee beee beeeeeee !!!! <33333

“too far away from sirius to be in the picture.” fuck fuck fuck this is the cause of my DEATH. i died and this is why. (pls one day catch them in a pic together. one of us shall do this. new mission.)

I KNOW HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY TO THE BEST MILF EVER <33333 (did you see theinvisiblemuseum’s fanart of lily ???? it’s so fucking good ???) & you’re right she would’ve so loved taylor swift (can imagine her dancing to lover with james)

tay tay <333

mr perfectly fine - JEGULUS - this song is fucking jegulus after they break up and regulus is all ‘you promised. you promised. you promised’ ‘Mr. "Leaves me all alone, " I fall apart// It takes everything in me just to get up each day’ IT’S LITERALLY HIMMMM. he left and regulus fucking shattered this is the TRUTH.

message in a bottle - JEGULUS - i’m thinking a celebrity au jegulus where they like date secretly or james is a fanboy then gets famous and reg writes a track for James’s movie (??? fic idea alert) AND I’M SO YES. THE MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE IS SUCH A REGULUS THING TO DO , TOO . (mr rab in a locket)

last kiss - JEGULUS / WOLFSTAR - this matches perfectly for both of them - except more wolfstar because in canon i think reg would’ve definitely known that they’d have a last kiss. and remus was the one who would’ve trusted him and all that shit. (and hello?? remus would so fuckin dance for sirius this is canon?? and wear his clothes after he’s in azkaban . )

fic rec for u (did i forget last time ?? i will not do this again , ‘tis a crime) - pink lemonade by moonysbookshelff (ft jegulus wolfstar rosekiller , with ace evan , and a happy ending , and also it’s a celeb au!!)

chatting !!!!

no because i’ve heard far too much of harry’s englishman accent when he’s yelling in some speech to sit through 2hrs of that shit.

“kids look this is a souvenir pic i took many years ago from my trip to london , the city of fashion & vibes.” “that’s a fucking pigeon mom.” (not a fucking pigeon why the fucking pigeon. no please no.)

but tbh pink is my favourite colour …. but i have too many shirts and trousers that i’d lose my mind to see as pink. so no thanks , no red socks today!!

YES OMG !!! podg ben barnes = sirius & dune tim = regulus !!!! this is canon major fucking canon !!!!!!!!! (it’s the smile and the facial expressions.) AND CALLING PAUL REGULUS THAT’S A CLOSE ONE . they might’ve found out the depths of your insanity then !!

yes yes godspeed but i did medium well on it. like everyone’s yapping on about the last q on the exam which they got like ‘4.35’ and i got 190 so idk. that’s like 2 marks i lost right then and there!!!

that lady should be arrested for war crimes. it was madness i tell you, MADNESS.

taylor and 1D over jazz , but you gotta try the jazz thing at least once. at least. it feels surreal, i’m telling you. this liz sounds so fucking cool high five to us dude we won the lottery of best friends.

wdym you didn’t know it was kentucky??? was there not a fucking colonel sanders standing right there ??? COLONEL SANDERS FOR THE WIN (i love kfc!) . this what i’m saying all fields look the same i can’t fuckin differentiate.

L & E // L & B —- > best motherfucking friends you will ever find ever. got the ‘married by 40’ pact with my dude too.

wine & books & fanfic > actual romantic satisfaction. alwaysssss. (i do not like her anymore. she’s consdescending as fuck. what the fuck do u mean ‘can’t believe u dk what a processor blah blah computer shit thingy is ??’ BITCH CAN U TELL ME WHAT A FUCKING KETONE IS ???? i thought not.)

i’m so obsessed with likeafuneralls art. she’s drawn the first art of xenophilius lovegood i’ve ever seen and looking at it i was like ‘damn now i understand how pandora got locked down.’ ALRIGHT OKAY THEY’LL GO UP ON MY WALLS NOW. (you’re literally so right likeafunerall literally never misses her art is fucking ETHEREAL.)

IK IK THEY ARE . ESPECIALLY THE TIMMY AND GARY OLDMAN THING I WAS LIKE ‘SIRIUS AND REG SIRIUSANDREG.’ this like when andrew and ben barnes met (have u seen that photo pls say yes it’s life changing as fuck.)

me too i really want to go to a fuckin hozier concert i rlly think my life would be changed. like it would be.

on a slightly related note- have u seen the jesusxjudas edits??? they’re fr making me all emotional like damn jesus knew and he was all ‘fine I sacrifice myself if u kiss me u lil bitch’ . & yes i hope brutus gave him a little eye contact at the very least. like something intense.

HE IS PSYCHIC. I swear it. i love it.

i was so fuckin heartbroken it was unreal and my heart was a bunch of tosh for like three days. harry thinks only usa exists . like hello??? what abt canada ?? AHAT ABOUT YOUR ROOTS??? ENGLAND ??? LONDON??? MANCHESTER??? I don’t care about u enough to go to the usa for u (i’d only do that for ZAYN.)

we dress like our houses as we should (currently in red pjs because it’s 9:00am and my exam is at 1:30 so i don’t have to leave until like 12:30.)

cruel summer just fuckin hits right yk??? it just does it’s like i ascend to heaven . ( ‘GRINNING LIKE A DEVIL’ is my national anthem fr)

😀😀😀😀 i’m very scared now ! very ! but i shall power through because i am no stranger to pain! yay!

piss & gladiators ong. that’s such a funny sentence though fr ‘piss and gladiators’ .

next time i’ll deck them in their motherfuckin faces. not kidding. was nearly late to my exam because of them. but I’ll just give them detention because as a higher-up , i can do that! so very good!! college student gives the lil bitches in the corridors detention !! more at 7!

yessss i can switch it up. when i get lu to pick me up and i’m taking a lil too long to get ready he just full names me and i’m THERE. but ess is good for me honestly it’s all smooth and stuff.

UNCLE MOONY :((((( (*sobs*)

IT’S AUTUMN. AUTUMN . this is truth. nothing else is true but this. (winter is bae.)

AHHHHH THANK U SM !!!!!! I AM GRACIOUSLY ACCEPTING THIS ENERGY OH MY GODDDD. i will challenge mr lupin through myself i will. (fuck physics !!)

just be loyal to dumpydumpster and fawkes will come through !!! (unicorns & phoenixes 5ever!!)

nah this is so real of u don’t waste ur time on non-book lovers book lovers only pls and thank u everyone else fuck off you aren’t good enough.

stealing money from the bank yesssss. hut unfortunately lu is the banker and he’s just as competitive so he will not budge AT. ALL. all right this friday i’m getting lu to teach me that’s it.

cafe terrace at night walk by with your bf/gf and hold their hand and ahhh melttttt . And jazz would so be a part of this experience i agree !!!

I AM ALSO SORRY ABOUT MY BIO EXAM. but i put something down for every q and that’s a fuckin achievement. honestly . the brownie was vv good plus a walk and taylor , solved so many of my problems honestly.

WE GOTTA FIND SOMEONE TO DO THIS WITH ISTG. annotating books with shi like ‘you’d do this’ making me cry and that.

hozier is me. i is him. we are one. imagine having a song written about u by hozier. like i’d straight up keel over and DIE.

Sports suck !! (badminton and sometimes cricket watching me . and also lu. )

AHAHA ITALIAN YESSSS. portugal is fucking amazing . there’s a little church up in portugal (sanctuary of out lady fatima) and it’s my peace place honestly . feeling so much less worry when i’m there. if u go to portugal that is a must!!! AND so is algarve. algarve is also home <333 I miss it now :) THE FOOD IS AMAZING , YESSS!!! you must try pastel de nata !!! (egg custard tarts!!!) i really love them they’re so fucking good.

REG AS A BLACK CAT IS THE ONLY HC THAT MATTERS HONESTLY. I love it so so much. and james as a horrible shower singer ???? canon fr. (i adore jily night owl/early bird so fucking much it’s like a release i adore it so much they had that for a little while at least!) JAMES HAS MAGICAL POWERS FR FR !!!! i wish i had them too damn me with headaches and shit.

yes they’re lesbians if i’ve ever seen them. and moonWATER???? that’s fucking HARSH ??? (i’d read a oneshot maybe. maybe.)

my secondary house is slytherin !!! and oh my god that’s literally so cool i just have the one patronus!!

luna luna luna i’m just as sane as her she gets me fr.

I’m literally so jealous of so many American restaurants. i want dairy queen now damn. if i ever come there i will go to dairy queen and i’m very excited for that.

barrs cream soda is literally bae it’s so good (though it used to be 39p and now it’s 59p ???? rip off asf but i’d still buy it )

i’m an ex-gifted kid now try-hard

IK IT IS MYSTERIOUS AS FUCK

mtr kills me . i’m in a battlefield every time i hear that song fr. (cruel summer is a close second <33)

one second i am timmy tim at the oscars next i am one of the queen’s corgis!!!!! the opportunities are endless

they went into the fucking vacuum of the earth or something where else WHY DOES IT HAPPEN. WHY DO YOU GO. STAY???

smarties and jaffa cakes >>> shitty american chocolate

it would be a dream. I have so many questions and he’s the only one who could ever answer that.

work song. work song. work song.

THEY GET ME ALL BOPPING WHILE I’M GETTING DRESSED AND STUFF.

it’s SNOWING??? lucky asf tell me if it’s enough for a snowman at the very least.

WE THOUGHT WE WERE SO SMART BECAUSE WE KNOW MACBETH BY HEART having studied it and all!! (AND I KNEW YOU’D GUESS THAT. i was it & he was georgie and that’s what was so funny because he’s taller so him wearing a yellow raincoat and with the red balloon and stuff it was so funny. and i was the creepy fucking clown but he was still funnier because imagine a tall blonde georgie like DAMN. )

reviewing q’s -

marlene would treat you right. I just know she would.

marry him for the money!!! marrying evan is a good choice too though (killing barty for the win!!!)

clothes and books and candles and jewellery YESSS GIRL AS YOU SHOULD JAZZ YOURSELF UP.

liv better step up and get that tattoo. you guys are the bunnyfish it’s practically illegal not to get that tattoo.

no same honestly i’m a second away from my death i could be rolling on the ground and die in a few second fr you’re so valid for this.

picking truth forever yessss >>>> (i’ve picked dare but i’m playing with lu so it’s always stuff like ‘i dare u to eat a spoonful of ketchup’ like damb boy you can do better.)

i buy nail polish and lipstick from poundland and primark all the time. literally it’s an addiction because i think buying them for a pound is a good deal . but then i buy like 20 of them and suddenly i’m a hoarder. (special mention to my buys of the royal butter and the toblerone!)

THIS QUOTE. OH MY GOD THIS QUOTE THIS QUOTE . killing me opening me helaing me and killing me. someone loving u like this is all u fucking need fr >>>

james potter has an ego the size of a lake but a heart to match. mskingbean knew what she was doing fr . I LIVE FOR LITTLE WOMEN REFERENCES IN FICS OMG I’M ACTUALLY WRITING ONE AS WE SPEAK.

i’ve never met a celebrity so that’s annoying. wlaking past seth rogen??? so casually??? i’d be screaming and stuff. seeing john mulaney and olivia munn must be jarring actually. i’m jarred rn. like wdym they sit around eating lunch like me??

this sounds so funny ‘humpty dumpty party mix’ dying dead. but also i want to eat it sounds really fucking good and such a range of cuisine in there seriously.

no this is so real of u. I don’t crush on anyone except for fictional characters who real humans will never ever live up to.

ahhhhhhhhh liv knowing you bestttt that’s peak platonic soulmatism!!!! (your dad sounds so cool 2 fr) i get that sm because lu knows me best and that’s honestly peak knowing someone that well .

lover’s my first dance song, but it depends on what mood i’m in. sometimes i need to feel like a criminal, and at that point it’s getaway car. but rn it’s lover. in a very lover mood atm.

AHHHHH OH MY GOD THAT’S SO COOL AHHHHHHHHH SEEING THE PARTHENON??? I wanna see it too DAMN.

coming out while driving yesssss because they have to keep driving. (And to Harry styles??? double cool??) for me it was lu that figured it out . he was like damn you a bisexual. (obviously more deep but this is very much the gist of it) LONG DRIVES WITH MUSIC AND WINE AND SUNSET OH MY GODDDDDDD . DREAM.

u chose the right answer. like idc as a brit , which is where regulus is from , i say r(edge) so it’s redge. DONE. (although if anyone else says it it doesn’t matter ALL that much. )

listen i watched friends and i think ‘va fa a napoli’ is a swear ??? confirmation pls ??? I TRIED TO LEARN SWEDISH FOR THIS EXACT REASON OMG. because i was obsessed with young royals but i only did one lesson. my brain said no! i did 6 years of french , have a french fluent best friend and still can’t speak it properly. such a pain honestly. (that’s such a cute lil nerdy thing to do tho damn girl u get that excited???? go learn your star wars language YES DO IT!!!) (AHHH U CAN READ ANCIENT GREEK ??? MA’AM THAT’S SO COOL.)

q’s for me —->

fuck evan marry reg kill barty. i am a gold digger. that’s all. and barty because he did stuff to alive and frank and if it comes to choosing i shall bring that up unfortunately .

marry lily fuck marlene kill pandora (sorry pandora sorry u don’t deserve it) lily evans is WIFEY. she is wife she is mother i am hers and she is mine. love her.

My time to shine as a polyglot.

portuguese

gujrati

hindi

urdu

marathi

bsl

i am fluent in all of the above but i also speak punjabi a lil and also know braille english , but apparently that’s not a language so i can’t use it.

4. topaz cool as shit. so topaz , but also obsidian and amethyst (birthstone alert!!)

5. i have not ! however I saw a quote of it on my dash (‘you were my purpose’) so now i will watch it !! very excited for it !!!

6. forest. could be lovely there with picnics and shit. i’ve had a forest picnic and i’ve been fine so forest. not sea because i won’t betray reg , and not mountains because i cannot climb !!!

7. weirdly enough a hairdresser 💀💀💀 wtf was up in my head??? i used to think the cutting and dyeing hair was so cool and i really wanted to do it until i was like 9. then i got some sense knocked into me.

8. cancer 💀💀i did my epq (which is like a dissertation of sorts) on this and i still remember everything and honestly it’s so sad and so much but i could talk about it for ages. BUT ON A HAPPIER NOTE !!! I COULD TALK ABOUT PLATONIC SOULMATISM FOR HOURS !!!!!! HOW A FRIEND LIEK THAT IS SO SO IMPORTANT THAN HAVING A BILLION FRIENDS WHO WON’T EVEN KNOWN YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR !!!!

9. timothée chalamet & louis partridge ( i love timmy for obvious reasons & i could so treat louis better than his grandma ass girlfriend come here bb) ALSO FLORENCE AND ZENDAYA (but I don’t want tom to bite my thumb off for simping after his gf)

10.APPLE MUSIC !!!!! APPLE MUSIC FOREVER AND EVER ARE YOU KIDDING ???? dolby atmos just does somrthing to my ears.

11.canis major !!! very sirius of me but canis major !!! love it and i can tell which star is sirius right away. but draco is a close second !!!

12.well u know about the dancing jazz . so i’ll pick another one (hard to choose damn) i took him with me to a wedding as my date (fake of course because of the family asking do u have a bf yet do u have a bf yet) and he was the white boy there and he was wearing a tux and he was so innocent and everything he ate was so spicy he nearly cried but he powered through and when he came out on the dance floor he DID THE DANCE BETTER THAN ME???? how dare he??????? and he was so nice to all my family who kept calling him ‘gora’ (white boy) even though he fully knew what that meant . like he did all that and he bought a toaster to gift to them as well. it was something else and i will always remember that. BUT ALSO I HAVE ANOTHER WEDDING COMING UP SOON (start of march) AND I’M TAKING HIM AS MY FAKE DATE AGAIN !!!! hoping he’s built his spice tolerance up , but i shall update u soon on whether he has or not.

13. i really fucking want wingstop. like so badly. I would fly to the us for that shit i just WANT ONE CHOMP ON THAT STUFF. it looks so fucking good and life changing like damn come in my mouth bb. And also birria tacos. i need to try that asap it looks so good i could cry.

q’s for u -

something u could talk about for hours?

worst advice you’ve ever given?

worst advice you’ve ever taken?

if u were a periodic table element which one would u be ?

what’s your undercover spy name ?

do you prefer savoury or sweet?

Who’s your favourite friend (from the tv show)?

3 wishes ??

how long are u surviving in a zombie apocalypse?

favourite stone ?

fave constellation ?

weirdest dream ?

worst dream?

best dream ?

timothée chalamet or ben barnes ?

things u eat at the movies ?

last text you sent?

last text you got ?

phone calls or text messages ?

what greek tragedy hero are u ? (this is a quiz & i got orpheus !)

And what’s your favourite meme ? I must know this?

(beeeeee beeee thank u for being such a lovely human !!! come back soon !!! i will miss u and i’m seeing this before the exam , so i’m chanelling all my remus Lupin energy into this. thank u for the luck , i wish u luck in life <3333 come back soon dont be too long !!! )

[howtofckitup]

I'm really tired of being caught in these cycles with people. I am tired of feeling like love and affection has an expriation date!! Please stop only loving me when it is convenient???

I am not a fucking placeholder for someone you love more!! I am tired of being used and lied to by the people i love!!!

LOVE ISN'T SUPPOSED TO HURT

[itsdetachable]

Its great bc they both have extremely valid responses to the trauma, but they process it differently.

If I said it once, I'll say it again, I prefer how young Knives and Vash are portrayed in the manga over other interpretations precisely bc it makes so much sense thay their responses are the way they are! Vash, who (in the manga) is the more reserved and wary of the twins, doesn't have to fight the same biases as Knives does when it comes to processing this trauma. He has always been wary of how humans will treat them, but he ALSO already understood that SOME humans will be good to them. Aside from Rem and his encounter and subsequent talk etc, he'd already been in a mindset that acknowledged humans aren't wholly good all the time. Vash did not give his all to humanity until after the fall, and tbh as much as he loves humans a large part of the reason for what he does is overwhelming guilt, right? He is STILL reserved, because he is still other. He's felt OTHER his entire life, he's worried about being accepted his entire life. What happened to Tesla confirmed that he was right about being worried, but having Rem there gave him a reason to believe that not every human would react the same way.

Knives is the more idealistic, hopeful and honestly, more of a dreamer than Vash when they're young. He has all this optimism towards humans and all this hope - I wouldn't be surprised if in his mind Rem could literally Do No Evil. So the betrayal hits harder - not only the betrayal of the humans in general, but also Rem SPECIFICALLY. Knives IS more emotional than Vash (that is a really weird sentence to write. It sounds wrong but I swear it isnt.) Tbh I'm not surprised that the emotional overload of the trauma just blue screened him and left him practically comatose. And then! He wakes up and finds that Rem, The Betrayer, has somehow convinced the only person he feels he can trust anymore that she isn't going to let anything happen to them? It's obviously lies. Humans do nothing but lie. Like how she never mentioned it, like how Tesla was hidden away. He goes into defense mode - he pretends hes fine, he does t remember, he cannot show ANY weakness rogjt now because he is on a ship in space surrounded by Enemies and he can't even trust his own brother. He can't even trust his own brother.

(And itsmy own feelings intruding here, but Vash trusts him, of course. Vash believes in him and trusts him for far longer than he should have. But Knives never really trusts Vash again)

shout out to my friend who doesn’t know shit about trigun but lets me scream about it

[speedystarshine]

harpy Captain: :)

CatBoy Mack: . . what did you do?

PuppyBoy Mark: :)))))

CatBoy Mack: wait. . NO!

Harpy Captain holding him and scratching his head: we’ve teamed up

PuppyBoy Mark petting Mack’s face: to hear you purr >:)

CatBoy Mack: Captain! this be-betrayal i refuse!!

Harpy Captain: good thing we have all day. :)

CatBoy Mack waking up holding his chest: oh thank goodness that was a dream. *looks down.*

.

.

.

CatBoy Mack: why are you two in my bed.

PuppyBoy Mark: you wanted snuggles. and your bed is softer

Harpy Captain: you clung to us and yelled that we don’t love you. . :) so we all snuggle piled! (:00 poly? poly yes?? yes!!)

poly my belovedddd-

Just funky little fellas (fellas is gender neutral fight me/hj)! Oh gosh, image the shenanigans that would be caused....

(Oh, and don't think I was joking abt the HC's (this isnt a threat I swear-) It might have been 3 in the morning, but I'm back on my shit and ready to finish up >:D )

[chuplayswithfire]

one of the grey areas in mdzs that I don't think we discuss often is that lan xichen and meng yao are together responsible for a tremendous breach of trust and creation of trauma towards nie mingjue for which one of them (lxc) seems to be forgiven and the other (my/jgy) isnt, but like, even the fact that lxc was forgiven is truly a matter of how long lasting that friendship was.

lan xichen is one of nie mingjue's closest friends AND is working under nie mingjue during his capacity as the apparent general of the Sunshot Campaign and he never once discloses the identity of the spy he's getting his information from during the war proper, even when asked. this directly results in the fact that when nie mingjue is captured late in the war, forced to watch his men be murdered, taunted with his father's murder and with being murdered in the same grisly fashion as his father was, and beaten, he's enduring all of this without any idea of that he's supposed to have help in this room with him, that this is anything less than what it seems - pre-emptive torture by qishan's head torturer (because that seems to be meng yao's role, being the man who invented many of wen ruohan's favorite tools of torture)

lets acknowledge that all of those are traumatizing events that could absolutely create PTSD and would cause lasting trauma

only AFTER wen ruohan is dead and AFTER meng yao has done all of this is it revealed to nie mingjue that meng yao was a spy and its treated in both canon and fanon as a gotcha, as if nie mingjue should just not be angry anymore, not even an hour after experiencing all of this, because look! RETROACTIVELY you know this man wasn't going to kill YOU. you RETROACTIVELY know that you were not in real danger from the man who murdered your subordinates in front of you

this is, in my firm opinion, probably the worst things Lan Xichen ever did to Nie Mingjue, especially when the sole explanation for it all comes down to "i did not trust your professionalism as the general who is leading and coordinating our forces to be great enough that you would put the war first and over look that the spy sending us (seemingly*) reliable information is someone who personally betrayed you** and who you witnessed committing murder, but now that he's hurt and traumatized let me use that as a get (him) out of jail free card"

maybe there wasn't another choice in lxc's mind, but this is ultimately one of his huge grey areas pre-burial mounds, his participation in what is absolutely a huge betrayal, and the fact that mere hours to days later he asked nie mingjue to swear brotherhood to him and meng yao is truly something i think we as fandom should discuss more

3zun is complicated on all sides because there is some degree of tension and fucked-uppedness happening everywhere between them.

*= seemingly, because there is a justified reading of canon that nie mingjue's capture was a deliberate ambush facilitated by meng yao and lan xichen, in that information from meng yao delivered by lan xichen says that the area they're going to should be a soft target open for ambush and instead Wen Ruohan was waiting with extra forces, so. probably not a coincidence.

**= in the novel specifically, after beint caught in murder and asked to turn himself in, meng yao stabs himself in apparent suicide for honor. nie mingjue rushes to help him and transfers him spiritual energy and in that moment meng yao paralyzes him spiritually and stands up revealing he'd deliberately stabbed himself non-fatally, and runs away leaving nie mingjue frozen in a recent battlefield. in cql the betrayal is arguably much less personal than that