#this isn't quite it but it's probably the closest I've gotten
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Will be quite honest I went in expecting that A.B.A.'s story mode would be a tired rehash of the same 'haha this obsessive woman is dragging around a guy who's clearly uncomfortable isn't that funny even though if the genders were reversed everyone would immediately recognize it as creepy' plot ala Johnny's with May based on the snippet I'd seen but color me surprised these bitches are actually working their shit out. Nice.
#remember what I was talking about way back when with the 'yandere redemption arc'#this isn't quite it but it's probably the closest I've gotten#woman openly recognizing that her behavior is creepy and overattached and unhealthy#also Para's dub voice is adorably dorky I'm so into it#guilty gear#A.B.A#op back on her bullshit
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— IF I CAN’T HAVE YOU BABY
pairing: mattheo riddle x nott!reader
summary: you weren't quite used to the attention of other boys, and it seems your brother's best friend isn't too fond of it either
warnings: brother's best friend trope!! swearing, kissing, not much else, very much unedited
author’s note: i don't tend to stray outside of the marauders era characters buuuut i've been a bit obsessed with mattheo and theo recently so this was for my own selfish needs lol as always let me know what you think!!
He had barely looked away from you all evening.
You knew the only reason Mattheo’s eyes had been fixed on you for the entirety of dinner was because of a certain type of attention you had unconsciously garnered on your first day back at school. Particularly male attention. It wasn’t any less disconcerting, however, knowing that your brother’s best friend was prepared to fist fight any potential romantic advances towards you because he was just as protective as your actual older sibling.
Your brother Theodore is no better, a displeased frown appearing every five minutes when he looks over to where you sit at the Gryffindor table.
“Merlin, boys are pathetic,” Ginny mutters, spearing a potato with her fork. “You go away for one summer and come back slightly prettier and they flock to you like bees to honey!” You’re about to weakly protest that she’s exaggerating, but at that exact moment you’re interrupted by a tap on your shoulder.
You slowly turn on the bench, reluctantly lowering your goblet of pumpkin juice to face Michael Corner, a Ravenclaw boy who you’d only ever spoken to when he was going out with Ginny.
“Hi, Michael,” you sigh, offering him a bland smile.
“Hello, Nott,” Michael replies, with what he probably thinks is a winning smile. “Had a good summer? I was just going to ask if you wanted to go on the first Hogsmeade visit of the term with me.”
You stare at him, unblinking. “Er- well, as… nice as that sounds,” you say slowly, not meaning a word. You glance at Ginny as pointedly as you can manage and raise an eyebrow. “I don’t quite relish the idea of going out with my best friend’s ex.”
“Oh! I, erm, I didn’t actually see you there, Ginny,” he stammers, laughing sheepishly. “My mistake.”
“Quite,” Ginny says drily, turning back to her plate of food.
“Well, er, see you later then,” Michael mumbles, nearly tripping over himself as he rushes back to the Ravenclaw table.
You bite your lip to stifle your giggles but it’s not long before you catch Ginny’s eye and the both of you erupt into fits of laughter.
“I can’t believe I ever went out with him,” Ginny groans, wiping her eyes.
“Was he always such a tosser or is that new?” you ask, snorting at the way Ginny scrunches up her face in embarrassment.
You’re still laughing when your eyes happen to pass over the Slytherin table just to focus on Mattheo.
You notice with a jolt that he’s looking at you again. This time, his eyes flick over to the Ravenclaw table for a second where Michael has settled back onto, then back to you and he quirks a brow quizzically.
Frowning, you mouth at him to stop in hopes that he ceases his scrutiny, just for him to roll his eyes and return to whatever one-sided conversation Blaise Zabini was attempting to engage him in. You hope you don’t look as flustered as you feel after realising Mattheo has just witnessed such an embarrassing encounter, but you’ve found over the years that you’re not the best at hiding the effects he has on you. Theo has never mentioned it in front of Mattheo as far as you’re aware, but he definitely hasn’t shied away from teasing you about the childhood crush you have on your brother’s closest friend. Not that you’ve ever admitted it to him anyway, and you’ve gotten a lot better at hiding it since nothing could ever come of it.
“Your brother and Riddle have been looking like they’re ready to halve the male population of Hogwarts since we got on the bloody train,” Ginny says, pulling you out of your thoughts.
“Tell me about it,” you sigh, cutting into your carrot a little more viciously than needed. “They keep looking over at our table. I feel like I’m on one of those Muggle reality television programmes Hermione was telling your dad about the other week.”
Arthur Weasley was absolutely transfixed when he was learning about reality television from Hermione during breakfast the week you both stayed at The Burrow, and although you zoned out after his sixteenth question about a singular programme, you feel as though you caught the gist of it.
“Hm,” Ginny agrees, grimacing at the memory. She had nodded off at the table during that conversation and fallen asleep on her slice of toast. “In fairness, that’s not really a new thing.”
“What, being watched by my two guard dogs?” you ask in a mock-serious voice.
“Yeah, but…” Ginny chews thoughtfully for a second before answering. “I’m not just talking about today, or even recently. Your brother mostly minds his own business. I’m talking about Riddle. He’s always looking at you, I noticed it last year. Wherever we are, kind of like he’s checking up on you,” she says like it’s common knowledge, shrugging. “It’s sweet, I guess.”
You blink at her, a little speechless.
“What?” Ginny frowns after a few seconds of your silence. You look at her with raised eyebrows, not really taking her seriously. In your first few years at Hogwarts, you had confided in Ginny regarding your silly, little girl feelings for Mattheo and she would read into every action he took towards you in an attempt to prove he liked you too. Obviously, he saw you as nothing but a younger sister figure and once you grew up a bit, Ginny had let it go too.
Ginny reads your dubious expression now and sets down her knife and fork to cross her arms. “Oh, for heaven’s sake. I’m serious! I’m not just saying it because you were helplessly in love with him until you were, like, fourteen.”
“Shush!” you hiss, thwacking her arm. “Why don’t you just get up on stage with Dumbledore and ask him to include that titbit of information for the entire school to hear in his speech!”
“Good idea,” she says, nodding seriously and starting to get up. You know she’s just teasing, but you start spluttering and frantically grab at her sleeve to sit her back down, causing her to topple onto you slightly. This sets you both off laughing again and you find it hard to stop for the rest of dinner and desert, thankfully staying far away from the topic of Mattheo. You also pointedly avoid looking at him again.
Once dinner is over, you head to the Gryffindor common room with the rest of your house and catch up with everyone for a while. After a couple hours of socialising and fifteen minutes of helping Neville Longbottom search for his pet toad, you head up to your dorm with Ginny and Lena, one of your other dormmates, to unpack.
As soon as you open your luggage, you search for your pyjamas and immediately change out of your robes and into a t-shirt and baggy shorts for comfort. You’re in the middle of unpacking some textbooks when you hear Lena whistle from behind you.
“I do not remember those pyjamas looking like that,” Lena comments, grinning at you. Rolling your eyes, you comply with her request to do a little spin and you can’t help feeling pleased when Lena and Ginny start whooping and hollering. “You’ve always been gorgeous, but you really grew up this summer, huh? Look at those legs!”
“Tell me about it,” Ginny pipes in, flopping down on her bed and abandoning her unpacked suitcase. “She came to stay for a week and Mum looked like she was going to cry every time she saw us. Something about ‘blossoming into young ladies’ or whatever bollocks.”
“You ‘blossomed’ last year,” you point out, and Lena hums in agreement. “I haven’t forgotten how Zacharias Smith fell off his broom trying to wave at you during Quidditch practice.”
Ginny groans and starts ranting about teenage boys again. Lena joins in and starts teasing her about how Harry Potter is the only boy she hasn’t complained about and you’re about to set down your belongings to help Lena dodge the pillows Ginny is throwing at her when a flash of green and silver in your suitcase catches your eye.
“Shite, I have Theo’s uniform,” you huff, grabbing the clothes out of your suitcase and sliding your slippers on. “That means he has mine and I am not dealing with this at seven in the morning. I’m gonna go drop this off, be back in a minute.”
Ginny says goodbye before resuming her pillow attack on Lena as you make your way out of the room and down into the common room. It’s nearly empty, with most people having gone to their rooms to pack and a quick glance at the clock tells you its past curfew. You decide to take the risk since you have a reasonable excuse, but you hope that if you do get caught, it isn’t by Filch or Snape.
By the time you’ve reached the dungeons, you thank Merlin that Theo had the sense to tell you the password for the Slytherin common room before dinner in case of emergency.
“Pureblood,” you mutter, fighting the urge to scoff when the door swings open. You enter the common room and brighten up when you see that the only students still hanging around are Theo and his friends. Your brother seems to have already started unpacking since he’s standing and holding your uniform, presumably about to come and find you. His friends all mumble polite ‘hello’s and he walks up to you with a smile.
“Oh, hey, I was just-” Theo cuts himself off when he properly looks at you and frowns. “Wha- Why are you wearing pyjamas out and about?”
“You’re wearing pyjamas too!” you exclaim, slightly embarrassed that your brother is doing this in front of your friends. They all turn to look at you again, hearing the indignation in Theo’s voice and you notice Mattheo suddenly sits up straighter. Suddenly aware of your bare legs, you tug down the material of your shorts, despite the fact they aren’t even very short to begin with.
“Oi. Stop looking at my sister!”” Theo snaps, glaring at Blaise, Draco, Crabbe and Goyle. You know the only reason they glanced at you in the first place is out of curiosity regarding Theo’s question, but Theo and Mattheo scowl at them all the same and they all start sputtering, Draco in particular when Pansy narrows her eyes at him. Theo sighs at you, quickly exchanging your uniforms. “Just- at least take something to cover up back to your room.”
“I’ll walk her back,” Mattheo says, out of nowhere. He stands up and makes his way over to you, face carefully blank. Theo nods, agreeing quickly before he ruffles your hair goodbye to go and finish packing. You’re too surprised by Mattheo’s offer to protest until you’re already out of the Slytherin common room.
“I don’t need someone to walk me back, you know,” you mumble after a minute of charged silence.
“It was either me or Theo,” he shrugs, completely unapologetic when his mouth quirks up in a smug smile. “And I know you prefer me.”
“You’re both equally annoying,” you say, rolling your eyes, happy that he’s talking to you like normal again. You hated it whenever Mattheo was serious – it was rarely ever towards you and you much preferred when his whole face lit up with a smile. He begins to tease you about your bunny rabbit slippers and you’re in the middle of pretending to be irked when you both run into Ernie Macmillan, a Hufflepuff prefect doing patrol duties.
“Hey,” Ernie offers you a friendly smile and gives Mattheo a brief, slightly nervous glance. While you prefer not to get into trouble for breaking curfew, Mattheo clearly couldn’t care less and his relaxed, yet intimidating stance must be off-putting to Ernie. Thankfully, you’re on friendly terms with the Hufflepuff and you give him an even brighter smile to make up for it, to which he beams at. “How was your summer?”
“Good, yeah! Erm, listen Ernie. We didn’t mean to be out at this time, it’s just that I accidentally had my brother’s uniform and needed to-”
“Oh, forget it. Don’t worry, I won’t dock you any points,” Ernie reassures you, waving off your excuses and you instantly relax. Ernie gives Mattheo another unsure glance before leaning in the tiniest bit closer to you. You try not to pay attention to how Ernie has been glancing at your legs and how Mattheo tenses up when Ernie starts speaking again. “I was actually wondering if you were available next weekend…?”
Ernie trails off when you don’t show any indication of replying straight away and you snap out of your surprise to say something, but Mattheo beats you to it.
“She’s busy then,” he says coldly, working his jaw. “Now, if you don’t mind, it’s late. Kindly get lost.”
“Wha- Matt!” you hiss, smacking his chest to which he barely flinches, nor does he look at all apologetic. “Ernie, I-”
“Never mind,” he says quickly, seemingly eager to just leave. “I’ll, er, see you later.”
You stand frozen in shock while Ernie rushes down the corridor and turns the corner, leaving you and Mattheo alone. Turning slowly, you look at him with barely contained anger.
“Why the hell did you do that?” you demand, voice sharp as nails. If it weren’t past curfew and you weren’t in the middle of a school corridor, you would most definitely be yelling. Mattheo stands with his hands in his pockets, clenching his jaw and his silence makes you even angrier. You accepted long ago that you’d never have a chance with him, but now he was getting in the way of you having a chance with anyone. It was completely unfair. “What if I actually wanted to go out with him?!”
Mattheo scowls at this, but his impossibly dark brown eyes flash with a hint of uncertainty. “Did you?”
“What?” you ask, impatient.
“Did you want to go out with him?” he says, voice low and dangerous. He walks forward, towering over you and you refuse to be intimidated so you start walking backward until your back is against the wall. Despite having cornered you, he maintains a fair amount of distance between you, leaving plenty of space if you want to move away. You don’t.
“That’s none of your business,” you say stubbornly, raising your chin and trying your best to keep your voice steady. Mattheo narrows his eyes and reduces the distance between you ever so slightly with another small step. You nervously keep talking. “I can go out with whoever I want.” Another step. “And you can’t just-” One more step. “Matt.” His shoes are flush with your slippers.
“What?” he whispers, tilting his head and looking at you calmly, while you feeling anything but calm. “I can’t just… what?”
The previously respectable distance has gone out the window and instead you barely have space to breathe with the way Mattheo is leaning in, head dipped toward you but never touching, hands resting on the wall either side of you. He leans in, eyes dropping to your lips and your heart leaps in your chest with anticipation, but he ghosts his lips over your jaw instead and the barely-there contact has you breathing unevenly.
“You can’t…” you exhale, trying to finish your sentence with some dignity and failing miserably. “You can’t just scare people off like an overprotective older brother.”
Mattheo stills, lifting his head enough to meet your eyes, but making no move to distance himself any further. He scoffs quietly. “Brother,” he says the word with a mildly disgusted scowl. “Is that what you think I want to be?”
“I- I don’t…”
“You don’t know,” Mattheo finishes for you, the corners of his mouth turning up, yet his expression is devoid of humour. “No, you don’t know how badly I wanted to hex Macmillan just now. How badly I wanted to try out some new, experimental spells on that fucking Ravenclaw earlier. But none of that had anything to do with brotherly feelings.”
“They were just being nice,” you say stupidly, with not a clue in the world as to why you’re defending them right now. If anything, you’re just confused.
Mattheo quirks a brow, tongue pressing against his cheek as he considers your words. “That Ravenclaw from earlier was talking about you on the train. He said he was going to ask you out at dinner because you’d ‘gotten hot’ over summer,” Mattheo sneers, like he’s suddenly regretting not hexing Michael Corner in the Great Hall. “They weren’t being nice.”
All of a sudden, you feel irritated because you have no idea why Mattheo is telling you any of this. “What’s wrong with a boy finding me attractive? Is that such a crazy idea?” you demand, part of you not wanting him to answer.
“Merlin, do I seriously have to say it?” he groans, sighing when you glare at him. Mattheo takes a breath, meeting your eyes and you marvel at the sincerity you see when he speaks. “You didn’t ‘get hot’ over the summer. You’ve always been beautiful and they’re idiots for not paying attention then.”
Your breath catches in your throat, whether it’s from emotion or from the close proximity with Mattheo, you aren’t sure. “You think I’m beautiful?”
Mattheo nods, leaning back in to brush his nose against your own, his breath mingling with yours. “Always have.”
You take this as a cue to grab the collar of his shirt and pull him in and the next thing you know, his mouth is firm against yours, and his hands are finally touching you, grabbing you by the waist and sliding up your back to hold you closer. You’ve thought about kissing Mattheo before, but the thoughts feel utterly stupid compared to the real thing. Mattheo kisses you fiercely, mouth sliding hot and wet against your own making you come alive and weakening you at the same time. He nips at your bottom lip and you gasp, causing him to smile into the kiss. Your hands are sliding up his chest to snake around his neck when a thought suddenly occurs to you and you pull away abruptly.
“Oh my God, Theodore,” you hiss, covering your mouth with your hand. Mattheo furrows his brows, looking a little dazed and confused. “What are we going to tell him?”
“He knows I’ve loved you since we were kids,” Mattheo says flippantly, waving you off and impatiently starting to lean in again, but you stop him with a hand on his chest. “What?”
“You’ve loved me since we were kids?” The words hardly register, but before you can feel any sort of elation, you mostly feel pissed off that your brother has clearly had his fun with the situation for years. “And Theo knows?”
“Yes,” Mattheo says slowly, as if he were talking to a child. He brushes the hair out of your face and his gaze turns a little uncertain when he speaks. “Er, this is hopefully the part where you say you feel the same way.”
“Well, of course I feel the same way,” you huff, still thoroughly annoyed at Theo. “He knew I was crazily in love with you too and the bastard was so irritating about it!”
You’re about three quarters of the way down a list of ways you want to get back at your brother when Mattheo gently turns your face by the chin to look at him. “As much as I’d love for you to plot against your brother right now, it’s kind of a mood killer thinking about him when I’m kissing you.”
“Sorry, sorry. Continue with the kissing.”
“How romantic,” he says drily. His smirk turns smug, however, when he processes your previous statement. “So… you were in love with me too. What was the word you used, again? Crazily? Crazily in love…”
“Don’t make me take it back, ‘cause I swear I will.”
© angelfic 2023.
#mattheo riddle x reader#mattheo riddle x you#mattheo riddle#mattheo riddle x fem reader#mattheo riddle fanfic#mattheo riddle fanfiction#mattheo riddle scenarios#mattheo riddle smut#mattheo riddle fluff#mattheo riddle imagines#mattheo riddle ff#mattheo x reader#mattheo x you#mattheo x y/n
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Ghost of fries and Hero of cookies
All work words count: 14 593
Words in this part: 2 224
Summary of whole work: Duke wasn't expecting to wake up from his quick rooftop nap to some meta kid with fries. He also wasn't expecting kid to stay Or Danny asked Dani to stay safe while she was in Gotham. Where would she be safer than under the wing of local hero? And he looked like he needed bad day combo anyway
This part summary: First meeting and training discussions Beta read by @audhumla-sailor though English is second language for both of us, so proceed with this in mind. I also know all of the charaters through fics alone, so probably ooc. Stay catious if it's something you don't like
Duke was running out of fumes to run on. Last few days would be exhausting if it was just vigilante or just civilian stuff but no, he had to have it both. Because of Arkham break out he had been called in three nights in a row, not for a whole patrol but he couldn't exactly sleep it of during the day like others did, especially not in a week when every teacher decided they need to have test or quiz or what not. Naps meant he wasn't as sleep deprived as he could be but he needed far more. But he couldn't because crime in Gotham never sleeps so he had normal patrol to finish and there were about two ours left.
Would something bad happen if he just stopped for a moment and laid on a roof? Ten up to fifteen minutes. It was a slow day too...
Yeah, no, he deserved a moment to rest and if something disastrous was to happen in the meantime he would shame other Bats for not giving him enough time to sleep.
It certainly said something that he found gravel covering this roof to be quite comfortable. He set a timer for ten minutes and let himself close his eyes.
When loud screech of timer jolted him awake, he was suddenly fully aware that he wasn't alone anymore. He sat up a little too quickly.
"Oh, you're awake," white haired girl around Damian's age chimed, sitting cross legged just few feets away from him. She wore something that could only be described as an unholy mix of lab safety hazmat and skintight workout jumpsuit, white and black. When had Gotham gotten a new vigilante? "Good, I just returned from snack hunt," she added, gesturing at a big textile bag lying next to her. Duke didn't have enough brainpower to do anything more than ask.
"What?"
Girl shrugged, take out from BatBurger in her hand.
"You look like you have a bad day if not few days, so I've got you my cousin's bad day combo or at least closest thing I could. BatBurger burger isn't as good as NastyBurger but you certainly have better fries," as she spoke, second take out bag, 1 quart bottle of energy drink, juice bottle of same size and pack of convenience store brownies joined greasy paper bag sealed with a sticker.
"Is your cousin a speedster?" Excuse Duke, it was a totally valid question, he saw with his bare eyes both Wally West and Bart Allen when they visited Manor. Noone else would be able to stomach the amount of food they inhaled during their stays.
"Nah, we're not that fast or that hungry. Though I think I may get closer to speed of sound," So, clearly a meta if white hair and weir aura that let his eyes rest weren't enough indication "My cousin when he has bad few days he often forgets to eat so this combo has to help with there too. But I'll steal your fries of course."
Duke was not going to look gift horse in teeth, so he grabbed one bag and tore it open. There was classic combo with bigger fries and NightWings inside.
"Thank you..." he trailed off, hoping that girl would take a clue and introduce herself but she didn't. She just drowned her fries in ketchup and started munching. She had her own juice.
"My cousin always said that each part of this combo has different purpose," she explained instead, slightly muffled because of fries in her mouth, "This" she gestured towards fast food meal "is to sooth your stomach. This "she tapped energy drink "is to sooth your brain and kick it back online. This "she raised bottle of juice, "is to sooth your taste buds because energy drinks are war crime against them and this "she nudged brownies "is to sooth your heart because Ancients damn it, this day is awful and you deserve it. At least that's what he told me when I had day bad enough to deserve that," she shrugged, licking ketchup of her finger. Suddenly she froze "You aren't allergic, are you?
"No, I'm not," he confessed bewildered.
"Good"
For a long moment they sat in silence, devouring food the little girl brought. Duke distantly wondered if this was how night shift spent their snack breaks. It felt nice.
He was finishing his part of brownies when girl spoke up again.
"Do you feel better now?"
"Yeah" he was a little surprised to realize that it was true. He'll have to note down what she put in this 'bad day combo'. "Thank you"
"Don't mention it," she shrugged with general gesture of dismissal, "You're one of my cousin's favorite heroes because you're vaguely his age and handle Gotham alone during the day and I quote, "she did honest to God air quotes at that" 'As only hero in Amity-' which is a lie by the way, Val is doing great and even if he suddenly got problem with how she feels about his alter ego, he still has Sam and Tuck even if they're usually more of moral support. And I helped when I visited, so no, he isn't only one. Anyway as he said 'As only hero in Amity, my heart goes out for anyone who deals with this type of bullshit so Dani if you absolutely have to prank heroes, leave them out of it, especially Signal, he can't be older than Jazz, he doesn't need any more mess to handle.' All aliens and lanterns are also off limits because he is a space nerd. But you aren't space related so I'm like 80% percent sure he has celebrity crush on you," she slurped more juice, unbothered.
Duke was thankful he wasn't swallowing anything because for sure she would choke. He took split second to consider addressing... this whole situation and choose not to. He was not ready to be anyone's celebrity crush.
"Your name is Danny?" he asked instead.
"Dani" she corrected" with an I"
"Ok. It's nice to meet you Dani-with-an-I," She giggled, nodding her head slightly.
"It's nice to meet you too Signal"
Duke stood up, stretching a little. Dani joined him after hastily putting all the trash in her bag. She was a little higher than expected.
"I have to get back to my patrol"
"Cool," she drifted back a bit, making him realize that she was floating a few inches above the ground. She fixed her bag on her arm.
"Hey, can I hang out a little bit more? My cousin will go green out of jealousy when I tell him," she added with a mischievous smirk but Duke could tell there was more to it. He took a moment to consider it, which apparently made girl nervous "I can be invisible the whole time, like before," she offered, disappearing in the meantime. He could still tell where she was, because of her heat signature and other waves she excluded but for regular people she would be no different than surrounding air.
"Yeah, you can hang around and you don't have to be invisible. Just don't get in my way when I have to actually do some fighting."
She popped back to visible spectrum and pouted like Damian whenever he got benched.
"I can fight, y'know? I stopped mugging on a snack run."
It was ten god damn minutes, how could she get so much food and stop mugging in such a short time?!
Oh, right, superspeed. Still, impressive.
"I haven't seen it-" he started, channeling all Dick-trying-to-wrangle-Damian-into-socially-acceptable-activity energy he could muster "-so I don't know how you fight or even what powers do you have. If we tried to fight together we would trip over each other" It was a bare faced lie, Bat training made sure of that but he knew for fact that if he said anything else, the girl would be mad and probably did her own thing.
Was that what Bruce thought about all of them?
Oh no.
Dani still looked displeased but after a moment of consideration she nodded with a defeated sigh.
Suddenly she straightened like she got struck by lightning and whipped around.
"Wha-"
She just shushed, raising finger to her mouth. Duke did indeed quietened.
"I have enhanced hearing," she whispered "There is a mugging somewhere this way."
"Let's go then," he shot his grapple, waving his other hand at Dani to come with him before he jumped off the roof. He heard the girl giggle as she flew right after him.
"After this you'll show me the coolest gargoyles, okay? Sam asked for photos"
"Okay"
It seemed that the end of this patrol wouldn't be as bad as the start was. Hopefully.
And afterwards he was going to lock himself in his room until sky falls down or he was well rested.
Yeah, that was a good plan.
********
"Hey kid," Signal started, dropping from fire escape to cuff weirdo in clown mask who Dani just fought. He did it deliberately slowly to show her how to do it like he always did. She choose to not be to annoyed at being called kid again and noted to herself to come up with good codename later. All her previous ideas apparently weren't cutting it and she couldn't keep going by Dani because reasons.
"Yes?"
"Who gave you a combat training?" he asked getting up from a crouch and gesturing towards roof. So it's going to be longer talk, okay.
"My cousin," well, Flashes in Central taught her some stuff but it was more rescue and reassure type of deal not punch and kick, Sam tried to get her through basics of psychological warfare in activism, Tucker sweared he would teach her some programming and hacking but never got around to it, Jazz did some emotional training and Val offered to teach her Red Huntress skills when she got back, but yeah, all in all, Danny was the one to show her how to punch people. Even though it was more of 'shit we have to fight, observe maybe, idk' most of the time. She picked some tricks from Vlad too now that she thought about it, not that she planned to give him any credit for it, like, ever. "Why?"
"I have a bone to pick with him," vigilante announced, melting with the shadows. Dani sped as much as she could to beat him to the roof. She was competitive spirit like that.
Unfortunately he was first. She made another note to herself (she was so going to forget them in next five to ten minutes) to train her speed a bit more. She got tips from the guy with the title of The Fastest Man Alive for crying out loud, she shouldn't loose with the person who technically doesn't even have superspeed!
Signal sat cross legged on the gravel and tossed her a healthy granola bar. He kept doing it for some reason.
"I'm sorry to break it to you, but almost everything in your fighting technique is horrible. Your cousin did shitty job as a teacher" he started in warm slightly teasing tone. Dani felt attacked anyway.
"It's not like he has any sort of training either," she started, trying to sound nonchalant, rolling her eyes. "Cut him some slack," She bit a snack in attempt to cover her furry. It had chocolate and raspberries, was quite tasty and she was kinda hungry anyway. She wasn't sure she wanted to know how Signal knew it though "Everything he learned is from the trial and error by crashing through a few walls. Quite hard to care about 'technique'. I at least got his mistakes to learn from so don't you dare to speak about him like that!" alright, she lost it, she can admit it. But, Signal might be cool and Danny may or may not like him (she hoped he didn't, Val was much better option) but Gotham's hero had no right to say anything bad about her template. He didn't know anything. He didn't understand.
Signal looked like he was going to say something so she put her ghostly vocal cords to use and growled.
Don't-harm-family/will-fight/ protect-mine/don't-you-dare
She didn't stop to consider how unlikely it was for him to understand her. She crossed her hands on her chest, glaring.
Turned out, growl was enough of the warning. He carefully picked his next words.
"Sorry, it's not the way I should've phrase it," he started, his mouth doing the thing it did when people were embarrassed with themselves but in an uncomfortable, a bit angry way. He understood his mistake, good. She calmed her glare a bit. "I wasn't aware of you circumstances. If you want, I can show you some tricks, Batman is very throughout with his training"
"No, thank you, I'm good" she was still mad. So mad. And she was not pouting.
"Of course you're good but you can be better, more efficient."
"No." Whatever Signal would propose to her, she wouldn't agree. He said mean things about Danny not even a minute before. She couldn't let him have it on a principle!
"I'll give you a cookie after every training," he pleaded "The homemade, tasty one"
Well, that changed things. A lot of things.
"Yes please!"
He apologized anyway.
********************
Second part
I know democratic winner in poll for now is "publish all at once" and believe me, I respect democracy, especially now that I finally have rights to do things, but Tumblr wouldn't let me. Too long or something. So, it'll be in parts, sorry guys. I'll try to post all of the parts this weekend though (or one each day, I'll see).
Yes, I didn't have a name for this fic until five minutes ago, how did you know? It's quite alright though, I think. If you have better idea I may reconsider
#dpxdc#dc x dp#dp x dc#dcxdp#dani hangs out with duke#signal got new sidekick and he doesn't even know it yet#not fully at least#Dani: I'm going Goth(am)#Danny: Maybe don't?#Dani: Nah#Danny: Stay safe?#Dani: Alright *imprints on the first hero she sees*#this random mugger Dani stopped: Last thing I saw was feral racoon child#police officer: what?#almost mugging victim: I was saved by said feral racoon child#police officer: What?!#Dani: Alright. Good deed for today done. They're calling my name in BatBurger to get my stuff. See ya!#Dani: I hope I can make it back before Signal wakes up#Police guy&mugger&victim: Did she kidnap our hero???#Dani: *fights*#Duke: With all due respect. How did you survive this long?! *died inside a little bit from stress*#wandixx writes#ghost of fries and hero of cookies#have a nice day dear stranger who got to this part
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Your Beauty Never Ever Scared Me
Dbf!Joel Miller x College!Reader
A/n: Listen… I don’t have any excuse for ditching my other three active series except for tiktok made me do it… That, and the CLM series by @macfrog has ascended me to a new level of crazy and I just needed an outlet for it somewhere. Another shoutout to @theatrelove3000 who keeps putting up with my dbf joel shenanigans, they are indeed insane.
Warnings: girl this whole concept should be a warning but anyways… age gap, some fluff, light smut, uncomfortable situations with readers father… probably some editing mistakes bc ya girl is tired ok its 2am
Please be kind to this chapter, I actually like it, despite the horrors.
Decided on the song ‘Mary On A Cross‘ by Ghost for this one bc it fits ig.
MASTERLIST
Age gap is approximately 15 years or so, reader is over 21 and joel is about 37
"I think I'd probably only slow'ya down," you chuckled, looking to Sarah who seemed to read the displeasure off your face from your dad's offer. "I'm studyin' to be an archeologist, dad. I don't know nothin' about framin' and all that house buildin'..."
Maybe it had been your dad's idea, but he wasn't the one who planted it into his own head. Joel subtly turned to you and cooly uttered a response.
"You could work on interior stuff with me."
It had been almost three days.
You looked out the window to the front of your house repeatedly to try and remember it clearly. The drive home, the kiss, and how abruptly it ended with a promise to see each other around. You thought about it so often you almost wondered if it happened the way you perceived it, if any details had been skewed in your mind simply because you wanted to keep it there, fresh, untouched. Maybe he thought of it differently... but maybe he didn't.
"Did you bring home the stuff I asked ya?" Your dad came into the kitchen with a smile, embracing you with a side hug and turning to help you unpack the groceries.
"Course' I did, Pa," you handed him the bag with the six-pack of bud and the other one full of snacks.
It was the first Rangers game night, and as per tradition, that meant the company of the next-door neighbors. It had been a while since you'd been around to enjoy it, but now that you were back, there were quite a few more reasons why you were on edge to now participate. It would look weird if you came up with an excuse not to be there, and you knew that. You also knrw that you'd gotten into a rather complicated entanglement with your father's closest friend, and weren't sure what the outcome really was.
Had that driveway light not spooked you both apart, and had that little black stray cat not made an appearance, how far would it have gone? Things were pretty heated, but even still. Would he have said something? Maybe along the lines of 'I've known you since you were sixteen, and this isn't appropriate at all.'
You didn't have time to think about it, you were set to work on helping your dad cook dinner for the soon-arriving neighbors. Dinner and a baseball game, once a relaxing and enjoyable time to bond with your dad, now turned into an anxiety fest where you were convinced you'd have to walk on pins and needles around every topic.
"So," your dad piped up from his silence at the stove, stirring the pot of chili he'd been prepping. "Joel told me he gave you a ride 'few nights back."
You knew it was harmless, and that he wasn't asking for any reason, other than that he was probably curious. You hadn't seen Joel in a while, not since two Christmases ago. Your dad had driven up to Dallas to spend both Thanksgiving and Christmas with you last year, and you didn't come home for summer break given an internship opportunity. You must have seemed different to the man in some way. All grown up.
"Yeah, gave me a ride n' saved me at the bar," you chuckled, trying to seem playful and unsuspicious about the encounter.
He seemed to be confused, his brows furrowed and a funny look on his face.
"Whad'ya mean he saved ya?" he of course was continuing to speak all the while dumping his favorite spices into the pot of chili, looking across here and now to keep engaged.
"Just scared off some weirdo who couldn't take no for an answer," you let a sweet and genuine smile fall across your features, but didn't let it get out of hand. Your relationship with your father was airtight, and he could read you pretty damn well. You weren't going to give anything away, not with what was potentially on the line.
"Glad he was there," he replied with a chuckle, sending you a soft glance. "Never thought you'd have grown up so fast, now I gotta carry a shotgun whenever we go places. Fend off the wild beasts."
His jokes were only so funny now, because in this situation, you knew he wouldn't hesitate to shoot Joel if he found out what had happened. All in the nature of protecting you, but it made you sad to think of the situation that way. Joel wasn't just another weirdo following you around at a bar.
"It's only because I'm so pretty," you did your best to respond lightheartedly, making a quip that would soothe the silence. "And I believe that's yours and Mama's fault, givin' me the genes and what not."
You'd finished chopping a nice garden salad by the time the doorbell rang. You ran upstairs to change your shirt to the Jersey your dad bought you for your birthday, claiming it was good luck for the team. Truth be told, you didn't wanna be downstairs when Joel and Sarah got here.
Sarah was here, too. Her, you could easily handle. You were almost hoping that she would be in a rather talkative mood, that way the attention could be swayed to her inconspicuously. You doubted Joel would even try to talk to you, anyway.
"Lovebug, come on down, Millers are here!" Your dad shouted up, even though he saw you run upstairs right when the doorbell rang to change your shirt.
"I'm comin', hold on," you replied sassily while heading for the staircase.
You got to the bottom and had to take a breath before turning the corner into the entryway. Joel stood there with a sweet smile to you, and you tried your best to hold back the one you wore. It was too bright, too happy to see him. All despite your nerves.
You were quickly embraced by Sarah, whom you paid immediate attention to.
"My lordy, girl," you held up your hand by your shoulder to show the height difference, "last time I saw you, you must've been this tall."
"Dad tells me I'm growing like a weed," she tossed a finger over her shoulder to where he was standing, and you gave him a small glance and a smile.
"Us daughters do have a tendency to grow up," you laughed, slinging an arm around Sarah and pulling her along to the kitchen as your dad and Joel did the same behind you.
Why had you been so anxious? Joel is happy to see you. He makes causal conversation with your dad, but he catches your eye every chance he gets. His expression doesn't change, except for the tug of his lips in a smile that's barely there. Joel doesn't smile too often, except apparently when you and Sarah are around.
It doesn't take long for everyone to get situated with their food at the table, playful banter between Joel and your father filling the air as you made less rambunctious chatter with Sarah.
She's doing pretty well since last you saw her. She was always a bright girl, but as she grew it became more apparent that she would probably excel further than anyone in her graduating class. You were sitting across from a future valedictorian, you were sure.
You'd tried to ask her about her out of school interests before your dad interrupted with a question.
"How about you, lovebug?" He watched your eyes flick over to him with a turn of your head. He added context, given you hadn't been listening to them earlier. "Are you gonna look for a summer job?"
You really should, if you're being honest. There's not much work in your aspiring profession located here, but you weren't as lucrative as you used to be, given your educational expenses.
"I've thought about it," you tilted your head back and forth, and your dad seemed to need more from your answer. "I need to earn some cash before I get back to Dallas, but I'm not really sure where to apply."
Sarah seemed to know where this was going before you did. She'd been around the last time your dad was begging Joel to find some help for the contracting team they worked with. But surely your dad doesn't expect you to build houses, does he? Your dream job is to dig holes in the ground, not fill them in and put homes on top.
"We got some spaces to fill, you should come work with us 'few months. The pay's good and you don't have to stay on long, probably just till the end of July."
You gave him a look, and he instantly knew you weren't interested, but you figured you'd try and justify your reasoning. It was an argument either way.
"I think I'd probably only slow'ya down," you chuckled, looking to Sarah who seemed to read the displeasure off your face from your dad's offer. "I'm studyin' to be an archeologist, dad. I don't know nothin' about framin' and all that house buildin'..."
Maybe it had been your dad's idea, but he wasn't the one who planted it into his own head. Joel subtly turned to you and cooly uttered a response.
"You could work on interior stuff with me."
Did he just-?
"S'not much more fun than what your dad's been doin,' but at least it's out of the sun, and easier to learn."
You were almost dumbfounded. Your dad offering you a job that potentially could give you heat stroke with your lack of experience seemed like the worst idea in the world... but working on interior projects? With Joel of all people? Well, that didn't sound so bad.
You didn't want your dad to catch on, of course. Being so protestant of his suggestion, but then falling right into it as soon as Joel was the one to offer would be a dead giveaway to some sort of favoritism to his best buddy. It simply wouldn't look right.
"What kinda interior stuff?"
He smirked. The motherfucker was smirking. He knew you'd changed your mind, but couldn't exactly just come out with it. He understood, but it was still slightly amusing to him.
"Flooring, cabinets, countertops... 's things like that," he explained, knowing you really didn't care what all it entailed. He was still happy to play along. "S'not as fun as archeology, but it pays alright."
You nodded, acting as though you were turning the thoughts over in your head.
"Well, if you're sure I won't mess it up, I'd be happy to try it out," was your final response. You figured it left some leeway in case your father became suspicious, but gave a good enough answer to end the conversation on.
"That's my girl," your dad clapped a hand on your shoulder in excitement. Truth be told he would very much enjoy your presence on a work site. "I'll go ahead and call Eddie in the morning, let 'im know I found someone to replace Charlie for interiors."
It was said more to Joel, you figured, because you didn't really know who either of those people were. He'd nodded to your dad, taking a sip of his beer and then looking back to you. You smiled sweetly, nobody catching it but the one it was meant for.
"Game's gonna start soon," Joel spoke aloud, drawing everyone's eye to the clock over the stove.
Sarah cleared her throat before jumping in on the conversation.
"About that," she looked to her dad with the same puppy dog eyes she used to use against you. He was just as poor at saying no to her when she pulled those bad boys out. "Sammy texted me to ask if it's okay to stay over at her place tonight?"
Joel sighed. He knew that no matter the attempts he made for her to like baseball, it wasn't her thing. It was summer vacation, and he had no reason to say no, so he didn't.
"Is she coming to pick you up?" He began, fishing his keys out of his pocket to drive her if need be. The girl lived five minutes away, he'd be back only a few minutes after the game started, but he didn't really want to leave.
"I can ask her," she pulled her phone back out of her jeans, opened her screen, and checked her messages.
"No need, I can take you," your voice rang out, standing from the table and taking your bowl to the sink. It was a genuine offer, but it was also to get out of the house and process what just happened with the job situation.
Joel was the first one to stand up with you.
"You don't have to-"
"It's fine," you cut him off, leaving no room for discussion. It was lucky he liked you, otherwise, Joel Miller might have put up quite the argument for such a small dilemma. As was his way, of course. He huffed, but accepted he had been overruled.
"Thanks, then." It was mumbled, but there was gratitude in it.
"We gotta hop over to ours real quick and grab my stuff," Sarah told you, waiting for you to return from the kitchen before beginning to head out through the front door. You'd grabbed your keys off where they hung on the wall before going behind her.
"I'll be back soon," you called over your shoulder into the house, and got a chirped 'alright' reply from your dad.
You walked out passed your driveway, seeing the light flicker on as you both went passed the censor on the ground.
"Y'know, I didn't think you'd have caved so fast on that job thing." She had piped up once you were almost to her porch. You found it only slightly funny that she chose the exact topic which had been swirling in your mind since it happened.
"Not sure I really wanna do it, but your dad made it sound better than every time my dad's talked about it, guess he just convinced me," you chuckled, playing it off in a way that she absolutely was about to use against you.
"That's another thing," she turned to you as she backed into the house through the door, only turning once she was inside. "Since when are you friends with my dad?"
She said it in a joking tone, but having known a few things she didn't about interactions that occurred between you and her father, you felt constricted to answer seriously. Probably with a lie if need be.
"I've always gotten along with your dad," you gave her a confused look, accompanied after by a playful smile.
She grabbed her backpack and opened it, checking to make sure she'd taken all the school stuff out before starting to shove things in, her charger, headphones, etc.
"Yeah but... you're just all young and cool and stuff," she shrugged, turning around to walk towards the staircase. "My dad is all old and boring and only talks about baseball."
"Thirty-seven isn't old, babe. My dad is two years from fifty, and I don't even think he's old, yet. Boring? Maybe..." you reasoned, hearing her laugh before she sprinted up the stairs, giving you time to think of some answers before she asked any more questions. Had she really caught onto you that fast? You didn't think you'd acted noticeably. If Sarah was able to see it, then maybe your dad did, too. You needed to be more careful, in that case.
Sarah returned a few minutes later, her backpack now stuffed and her pillow under her arm. You nodded out the door and headed back to your driveway to open the door for her, seeing as though her hands were full.
-
The drive after Sarah had been dropped off felt so much longer. Maybe it was just your thoughts, or maybe you consciously drove slower to avoid getting home too quickly. Your dad was waiting, but above that, Joel was there, too. Probably sitting back on the leather couch, relaxing with his feet kicked out on the floor. He usually leaned onto the armrest with his elbow, and held his face against the hand it supported. You'd noticed it years ago. He only ever spoke up when your dad did, usually in reply to him.
He was content simply watching the game in the presence of a friend. It was endearing.
When you pulled into the driveway, you had come up with an excuse to not remain downstairs for the duration of the game. It was too risky, and you weren't apparently as good with self-control as you'd thought you were.
You went inside and hung up your keys on the hook, immediately passing the living room on the way to the stairs.
"Hey, lovebug, you missed the top of the first," your dad called. He knew you liked baseball, so if you were to lie and say you didn't want to watch, he'd know something was up.
"Y'know, pa, I think I'm just gonna watch it upstairs, I forgot I still got some stuff to unpack," you peaked your head into the room to respond, and saw that Joel, just as you had pictured, was sitting in his most usual position on the couch, feet out on the floor, arm up with a hand holding the side of his face.
"Can't you do it later?" Your dad pleaded, but you knew, seeing as how your father occupied the recliner, you would have no where else to sit but on the floor or next to Joel. You didn't trust yourself with that.
"I could, but I might fall asleep if I wait too long."
He sighed, throwing an arm in your direction and shooing you away. He wasn't annoyed, but he'd admit he missed watching these games with you. It had been like a tradition, but if Sarah wasn't here either, he wasn't gonna make you stick around.
"Sure you don't wanna stick around? We could use your lucky jersey down here," Joel piped up, lifting his face from his hand and giving you a pair of soft eyes. That was exactly the reason you would not be staying. He didn't even realize how much he affected you, but you'd make sure he did at some point. Maybe you could just tease him a little.
"You're right, it would be a shame to take the lucky jersey with me."
You walked behind your dad's chair, out of his sight, and tauntingly stripped the jersey over your head, revealing the tight black tank top beneath it, just like that night at the bar. Joel's jaw clenched and his eyes turned darker, even under the bright light of the flatscreen in the living room. You never took your eyes away from his as you slung him the jersey.
"Hey pa, can I get you anything from the kitchen before I go upstairs?" You leaned over the back of his recliner, looking at him upside down. He chuckled and shook his head, trying to move your hair from obstructing his vision.
"We're all good, lovebug," he spoke in addition to his physical response, his laughter dying down as you stood back up. "Come on down if you change your mind."
"I'll probably be down later," you spewed a half-lie. You weren't sure if you would be or not, especially if Joel was still lurking in the living room.
You gave those brown eyes one last look before heading straight upstairs.
You grabbed your remote and flicked on the TV. It was already on the right channel, so you tossed the remote aside onto your bed and flopped back into it. You didn’t actually have anything left to unpack, but they would never have known.
Your phone buzzed beside you, and you lifted the screen to your face to see a text from an unsaved number:
Missin you down here…
You’d never put Joel in your contacts, because in highschool, your friends thought it was weird to even text or call him regularly, but you had his number for years, always just as a backup. You’d known it by heart, now, and nearly had it memorized back then, too, for the times you needed his help.
I’d come back if there was an open seat.
A bit sassy of a response, maybe, but you were hoping he’d understand the hidden meaning behind it… Although, Joel didn’t usually pick up on those things very easily.
Open seat right next to me
Yeah, that’s why I’m up here…
You huffed, realizing it wouldn’t be that easy. The three little dots indicating his next response was on the way slightly nerved you. Maybe he took the last text you sent the wrong way. You didn’t mean it to sound badly.
What’s that supposed to mean?
Means that I can’t keep my hands to myself.
You quickly rectified the situation, although you might have gone too far. He was taking far too long to answer, now. The little dots that before nerved you would now be your saving grace if it meant he would just fucking respond, already. You dropped the phone on your chest, raising up and down in a scattered rhythm while you wiped your hands over your face. Your phone vibrated over your shirt and you immediately opened it.
I can’t either. Stay up there.
You breathed out a sigh of relief. He was thinking the same things you were, and likely was under more stress for it, given he sat right across from your dad, responding to his comments about the game here and there. Your dad had no idea what was happening right under his nose.
Wasn’t thinking about leavin.
This little back and forth went on, the majority of the game, in fact. It was more-so about the plays then on, because you didn’t have anyone to talk to up here.
Joel thought it a bit funny, your dad would say something oddly specific about one of the players, and then you’d text him right after saying the exact same thing. You’d been a product of watching baseball with your old man for just about ever.
“I’m thinking about gettin’ some tickets over the summer for a game or two. They’re always cheaper in them group packages, you n’ Sarah should come along,” your dad was barely paying any attention to the words he spoke, but they came flowing out anyway, clear and cool. “Could be fun.”
Joel knew that there was only so much group interaction he could handle with you, and you with him. It stands to why you’re upstairs, an he’s down here, fist wrapped tightly around your lucky jersey. All out of your father’s sight, of course.
“It could be. Don’t think Sarah’s much for baseball anymore, though.”
He’d hoped that your dad would drop it. Halfway through his third beer, he hoped the man was a little more than tipsy, and maybe didn’t even mean the words he was saying.
“Doesn’t mean you can’t still tag along,” your dad was definitely still sober enough to keep it up, although the way he spoke became slower. Maybe he was getting sleepy.
“I’ll think about it.”
His response was followed by a hum, then a lull of silence that endured the rest of the game. He sat all the while and thought about his predicament a bit more.
He couldn’t stop thinking about you. It was insane… like you’d leeched yourself to the inner workings of his mind and he wouldn’t be able to pull you off without hurting himself, too. You were just upstairs, and had been texting him. You were within his vicinity, and yet… so unreachable.
He’d wished for you to be down here, or for him to be up there with you. Obviously, that wouldn’t go too well with the man sitting next to him, but he’d be asleep soon. If he could just touch you again, just kiss you one more time, maybe his cravings would be satisfied and he could go about his days… but what would happen if he kept feeling the addictive urge to do more? What if he was never satiated enough to quit you?
The game was called, and you’d texted him a small ‘victory’ at seeing the Rangers had won.
It was wrong, and the presence of his friend beside him was a constant reminder that you were his kid, and he would have a final say. Even though you were an adult, he understood this was completely taboo, and you should be off with guys your own age... but he’s made up his mind about the thoughts spinning in his head.
He didn’t respond, though. Your dad stood up out of his chair, his arms stretching outwards with a loud yawn as he took a few steps forwards, clapping his hand down on Joel’s shoulder.
“I hate to kick you out…” your father joked, a low and tired chuckle under his words.
“It’s alright, I got some stuff to sort out anyway.”
They started making their way towards the door when light but fast footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs.
Joel turned quickly, a smile on his lips and in his eyes when he saw you trying to catch your breath after sprinting down here.
“Leavin’ already?”
They both laughed heartily. As if Joel hadn’t been here almost three hours, most of which you spent upstairs. Your heart was beating far too fast for your liking, but there didn’t seem to be a way to stop it. Now that you were present again, in the room with him, you didn’t know what else to do.
“Your dad’s half asleep as it is, if I stay any longer I’ll send ‘im into hibernation,” Joel’s response made you giggle softly, although you withheld most of the laughter, because in all honestly, it wasn’t that funny, and you needed to learn to control yourself.
“He’ll be over next week, we’ll talk about gettin’ you into that job.”
You nodded, turning back to Joel as your dad opened the front door. What were you supposed to do? You couldn’t hug him, could you? That’s too much… maybe just wave, or maybe-
He held his hand out… for you to shake it. A hand-shake. Yeah, sure, fine.
You shook it, but he pulled you in half way, tapping your back once and then letting go.
He just bro hugged you. This man just-
He turned and did the same to your dad, giving you one last glimpse as he stepped out the door. Your dad closed it behind him and you were almost clean out of words to say. That had to have been the strangest interaction you’ve had.
“I’m beat, love-bug. I’m gonna head to bed,” he slung an arm around your neck and kissed the top of your head before turning and going down the hall to the stairs. “Don’t be up too late.”
“I won’t, just got a few things to do.”
You waited approximately ten more seconds before running to the garage door, going as quickly and as quietly as you could through to your front yard. Joel was still on his porch when you got out there, but was about to go inside.
You ran out to the sidewalk in font of his house and called out to him, all the while still barefoot.
“Hey Miller,” you crossed your arms, watching him turn around and lean in one direction. “Did you just bro-hug me? Or did I imagine that?”
He stepped closer to the edge of the porch, leaning against one of the wooden beams closest to him.
You slowly walked up to him, tilting your head to side as you observed his stance. he looked rather good. Hair tousled, body adorning a black t-shirt and some dark jeans. He was a sight, even in the dark light of the neighborhood.
“I reckon I oughta’ try again?”
"Seems like the fair thing to do."
“You’re takin’ your sweet time, baby,” he irked, grabbing gently under your elbow and pulling you up onto to porch once you were close enough.
You smiled to him, and wrapped your arms round his neck, over his broad shoulders. He pulled you close, tucking a head into your shoulder. The anxiousness you felt before fell apart, the rapid beating of your heart slowed, because you were comfortable. You felt immense peace in his arms like you’ve never felt before.
He backed away too soon, but still kept you relatively close to him.
“Was that better?”
“Yeah, I’d say so.”
There was a moment of silence, of contemplation, but it wasn’t stiff, and it wasn’t awkward. It was just there, a nice and pleasant quiet, and you standing still with Joel Miller on his porch.
“You wanna come inside a while?”
Sarah wasn’t home, and wouldn’t be till morning. Your dad was probably passed out in bed by now, leaving the opportunity completely open. You had nothing to lose, no risk to be had.
“Yeah, I think I will.”
He didn’t let you go, he just walked you both backwards until he was able to reach the door, reaching with one hand to open it before stepping slightly to the side to allow you entrance first.
“Ever the gentlemen,” you smiled, walking inside before he followed you in.
“Gotta make up for all that nonsense earlier,” he closed the door, taking your hand and walking to the kitchen. He pulled out a stool at his counter and let your hand fall to your side as he made his way to the fridge.
He pulled out two beers and uncapped them with the tool hanging on the side of his fridge. You think you remember your dad buying it for his birthday one year. You can remember sitting in this exact seat many times before, actually. Never alone, though. Never just you and Joel, and nobody else near.
He slid you one beer an you smiled at him in thanks, taking a sip.
“Last time you had one of these, I didn’t know if you liked it or not,” he gestured to his own bottle, drinking some and setting it down on the counter.
“I don’t know, I think it’s growing on me.”
He looked straight to you, leaning both hands on the edge of the counter. You leaned forward, mimicking his more stern face of features before he said anything else.
“I didn’t wanna say so with your dad around, but you look awful pretty tonight,” he spoke the compliment smoothly, but he had to drop his head after he said it. Seemed that giving you compliments alone in the night was something of a struggle for him, since he was blushing still even when he looked back to you.
“I seem to be feelin’ a lot prettier as of late whenever I’m around you. Think you’re just good for my self esteem,” you paused, leaning back onto the stool to take a drink of your beer. “That, or it's just nice to be complimented by a handsome guy like yourself.”
He didn’t seem to believe you. His scoff was loud and heard immediately after your compliment returned to him.
“You think I’m handsome?”
He’d always thought he was average. Maybe even slightly below. As he got older, that notion grew until he felt that maybe he was beyond trying for a woman on behalf of his looks. Perhaps there were women from time to time that would agree to a date, but there were none since Sarah’s mom who actually stuck around, not until you… but you were different as far as relationships go, because technically, you shouldn’t even be considering one with him.
“Absolutely, I do. Why wouldn’t I?” You were curious, because he was clearly attractive. Maybe you’d spent too much time around the more traditionally preferred young men in dallas, but something about Joel intrigued you that never did with anyone else. Maybe it was the forbidden aspect of what you two were doing, but before that, it was something else. He was rough and rugged, and good looking in a mature way that the boys your age couldn’t mimic if they tried. Those dark brown eyes with little crows feet at the edges every time he smiled were a dead give away to his age, but it was so appealing somehow.
“Don’t know. Guess I’m just old,” he spoke, trying to hide the insecurities that phrasing brought about. He was too old for you, he shouldn’t be sitting here with you you alone and calling you pretty, and yet…
“Maybe that’s a good thing. Too many boys my age are still very immature these days.” And it was very much true. Too young, too immature, and too stupid to see what’s in front of them and really appreciate it. Older men have a tendency to take care of the things they have, because they know that with time they can lose them.
“That so?”
“Mhm.”
“They don’t even realize what their missin’ out on, do they?”
You shook your head in reply. Nope. Not a single one of the younger guys you’ve dated has treated you with the care you know he could. He’s always treated you with care, before… why would that change now?
“They probably figure there’s a million girls linin’ up after me that they can take a shot at,” you raised your eyebrows and drank some more. Maybe it was just a thought of some past experiences, but this beer was tasting better and better to you.
“I pity them,” he said nonchalantly, without really thinking about it.
“Who, the girls? I mean, I kinda feel bad, but other times, I think we all know what we’re getting ourselves into n’ we just try to ignore the red flags.”
It was meant as a joke, but he was being genuinely serious.
“No, the guys. I pity ‘em.”
“Oh, do you?”
“I do,” he nodded, thinking of the right words to say. “They lost you, didn’t they? Biggest mistake of their lives and they didn’t even know. Pity ‘em just for that.”
You didn’t know what to say. You figured the wide smile you wore was doing a fine enough job, but he wasn’t looking like he had anything else to voice yet.
“You think I’m somethin’ special, Joel Miller?”
He set his bottle down on the counter and walked around it to stand right in front of your barstool. He took both your hands and pulled them to his chest, just holding them there and looking to you with the sweetest expression you’ve ever seen from him. He’s so different than what you remember in your earlier years. He used to be so stoic and serious. Sometimes even a little grumpy. Guess time changes things.
“I wouldn’t be gettin’ myself into sum’ this crazy if I thought anything else,” he mumbled it almost, but he definitely meant it. His words rang true in every aspect of the implications they made. This was crazy, it was very unlikely in the first place, but even still, it was happening. Neither of you backed down, neither of you said no.
“If it helps, I happen to think you’re pretty damn special, too.”
He didn’t respond, just leaned closer towards you, nudging his nose against yours, before letting your lips meet in a kiss. it washed rushed and hazy like the last time. It wasn’t forceful or fast or anything of that sort. It was gentle, and it was meaningful. All the years he’d known you, but never like this. You knew this attraction was new, but it was still real. You wondered how many women pined after him over the years, only for you to now gage his attention when clearly no one else did. The man’s been single since Sarah’s mom left, and otherwise, you didn’t know him to be much of a ‘dating around’ kinda guy. Standing here with him, now, you felt such excitement in knowing he’d pursue you, the off limits woman, over anyone else. It was a true victory, or at least you thought so, sitting on a stool in his kitchen while he kissed you softly, his thumbs going over the backs of your hands that still lingered in his.
When the kiss broke, you inhaled deeply, the scent of him so close to you, surrounding you. He was like a warm blanket you just pulled out of the dryer. He was comforting, and soft, and his skin was currently hot to the touch. You could only hope that you had something to do with that.
“Baby,” he breathed, hands letting go of yours and finding a new home at your waist. You left your hands on his chest, feeling his heart rate fluctuating. “Gotta know something before this goes any further…”
You hummed in response, still trying to even your breath intake. He backed away a few inches to be able to look you in the eyes correctly. He’d spent enough time with you in the past to know if you were telling the truth, and he was going to use it just this once to his advantage.
“What we’re doin’, you sure you’re okay with it?” He knew better than to jump into this without clarification. “Don’t want you feelin’ pressured if you’re not.”
“I want this,” you spoke softly, just loud enough that he could hear. “Promise.”
You had thought you’d been the instigator to this, if memory serves you correctly. Even still, you know now that whatever happens, he won’t take it somewhere you don’t want it to go. This show of good faith was something you could put trust in him over. He’s a good one, you always knew that.
And again his lips were on yours, differently this time. It was a bit more hasty and fervent like the first time, but there was still something different from then that you couldn’t quite decipher.
You absent-mindedly opened your legs and he instantly came between them, letting your bodies become flush with one another. His hands ran up and down your sides, every once and a while dipping to your hips and somewhere below on your thighs.
There was a heat between them that you didn’t realize was there until he came so close to touching it. He never actually did, though, and you were both endeared by and upset about it. He was the one making that heat spread, he can’t just leave it there… but he’s testing his limits, and you think it’s respectful that he is.
He doesn’t want to cross any lines… as if this entire entanglement has not already done that. This situation in every sense of the definition, has crossed the line. Him hugging you that tightly on his porch, him inviting you in after dark when it’s only you and him alone, having a beer with some very personal conversation, and now making out with you in his kitchen. They all crossed the line of what should happen between a man and his best friend’s daughter.
“Tell me to stop,” he mumbled against your mouth, almost as if reading your mind. His hand on your thigh drifted between your legs, just barely caressing the heated pool sitting there, waiting for him. It was still very reserved, and you had to buck against his hand for more friction, but at least it was something.
The taste of him somehow made it worse, the feeling growing inside you without an end in sight. The arousal was evident, but you weren’t sure he would be able to do anything about it, yet. You could tell it was weighing on his mind, what was okay for him to do, and what wasn’t. You would beg him if you had to, you just needed more.
He had an idea, one that could allow both of you to explore this dynamic easier, and one that could potentially keep him from overstepping like he was afraid to.
He removed his hands only for a minute, bringing yours up and over his shoulders before he settled his back down below your ass.
“Hold on,” he told you, lifting you from the seat and walking until he got to the living room. From there, he let the space guide him until the back of his knees hit the edge of the couch. He sat almost abruptly, and when you relaxed your weight onto him, you felt the stirring between his legs as well. You moaned into his mouth at the mere size and feeling of it, beginning to slowly grind down onto him. He encouraged your movements, and used his hands to guide your hips as you went, back and forth, getting into a rhythm.
“That’s it, baby,” he praised, tearing himself away for a moment to expel his breath from his lungs at the new feeling. Your head fell against his, and suddenly it was the movement of your lower half taking you over.
He let his hands move over your body a bit more freely, now, but still careful not to make any harsh movements, or grab in places he felt he shouldn’t linger too long. He knew you wanted this, but something inside him questioned how comfortable you really felt… that was until you started doing the same, roaming his body with your delicate touch, making him feel like the most important man in the world. You could have sworn you marked the exact moment he snapped, rolling his hips upwards into yours shamelessly. It was so deliciously addicting, the feeling of his body pleasing yours, and vice versa. His rough and sturdy hands, though still gentle, ravished any part of you available to him.
The air between you was hot and thick, and you could swear that by breathing it in, you were drawing even more arousal into your body.
The motions kept going until there was a quickening of pace brought on by you both simultaneously. You couldn’t mark a distinction of when it increased, you just knew that the speed you were going wasn’t where you started. All you could think of was that your spend was fast approaching, and you wondered if his was, too.
“Gettin’ close,” you murmured, barely able to get the words out for the moans that slipped passed your lips. “M’gonna…”
He heard you, and understood. Truth be told, he’d started getting hard since that moment on the porch, so this was just nothing but sweet relief to him. He kept on, trying to meet you at your finish.
“Let go , baby.”
You had no qualms about being told twice when it came to him. You gave it up easily, the muscles in your body contracting when you felt the wash of utter ease through every inch of you. He tensed beneath you, but relaxed with a groan of relief right after, and you could feel his length twitch in his jeans.
You just dry-humped Joel Miller on his couch. Like a horny teenager. What the fuck.
The dawn of realization was cut short by his hand softly coercing the back of your neck, bring your lips back for him to claim as he did earlier. Soft, and gentle, no rush, no heat. Just that feeling between you both that started this mess.… and it was indeed a mess.
“You wanna stay over?”
-
Tags (open):
@justanothersadperson93 @moonchild-warrior @hopplessilse @brittmd115 @michilandcof @untamedheart81 @just-someone-broken @joelalorian @xybil @yvonneeeee
If i tagged you wrong, or you want to be taken off at any time, just lmk!!
#joel miller x reader#joel miller smut#joel x reader#joel the last of us#dbf!joel miller x reader#dbf! joel miller#joel miller age gap#pedro pascal fluff#pedro pascal smut#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal
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I think Tsukimichi Moonlit Fantasy is probably one of my favorite ongoing anime right now. I've been reading the light novel and I just keep having feels about it.
It's easy to dismiss it as just another isekai or harem show but it has a habit of surprising me. A lot of isekai anime are just regurgitations of tropes in new slightly different configurations, but unlike those stories, the author of Tsukimichi (Kei Azumi) seems to have something to say. There are obvious themes and explorations on beauty, power, responsibility, mental illness, and the power of familial love.
I don't know if the author intended it or not, but I think it's really interesting that Makoto has trouble connecting to feelings besides anger and embarrassment, that his decisions only take him and his friends into consideration, that he feels nothing when he kills a person he doesn't know, and that he can be destructive and impulsive on a national level without realizing how others will perceive it. To me personally, he comes across as someone with a severe mental illness who grew up in the best environment possible and learned to cope with most of his issues in healthy ways.
He would be a totally different character if his environment and connection to other characters were taken away, and the story plays with that constantly. The anime hasn't gotten there yet (super light spoiler warning for details that are not as far as I know, important to the larger plot), but at some point he's granted dreams of true alternate realities of his path and they are all incredibly dark. In those other realities he was left alone with his fear and anger and became a terrifying destructive force.
In his own timeline, multiple side characters realize that he has no qualms about killing (even if he only ever does it to save or avenge friends, a classic hero trope) and decide that he's scary and needs watching. When one of his closest companions starts to worry about him falling victim to bloodlust, another close friend tells her that Makoto will never love killing because life means nothing to him.
But my favorite part of this reading is that Makoto is a kind, thoughtful boy, who treats his friends well, treats every new person he meets with respect, helps any random little girl that is in danger around him, and generally bends over backwards not to hurt anyone who isn't actively attacking him or his allies. The people who love him know he has some dangerous faults and love him totally and completely anyway and without fear.
I haven't finished the series quite yet, so I hope this doesn't slap me in the face, but it feels like a really nuanced, positive depiction of a mentally ill protagonist and I love it.
#love that his ability to disassociate during meditation literally gives him super powers#tsukimichi#moonlit fantasy#tsukimichi moonlit fantasy#anime#light novel#anime recommendation#mental health#mental illness#positive psychopath post#maybe I will make another post about all of the trope subversion#or how he also feels like aro/ace rep more than other avoidant anime boys
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I really enjoyed your excellent deep dive examination of Ma'alefa'ak and the underlying attitudes of ableism present in the writing. It's an aspect of the character that has always disappointed me and, honestly, combined with the hoary old cliche of an Evil Twin just left me cold. (Ma'al also began the trend of DC defining too many Post-Crisis stories around the reveal of YET ANOTHER Martian survivor, only for them to be bad news. Whilst that isn't strictly his fault, he certainly opened that door and no one's gotten around to shutting it yet.) Your remarks about J'onn's beliefs being too ill-defined also ring true. In his original appearance he had a science background, by the Bronze Age this had shifted into a military VIP, before finally doubling back and codifying Manhunter (re: cop) as his profession Post-Crisis. He's all over the fucking map about what his views are, what motivates him, and why, which persists even into the current comics. That's a roundabout way of me getting to my ultimate point: I've become quite fond of your reinvention of Ma'alefa'ak. Initially I was sceptical because I saw little reason to revisit the character, but you won me over by using Ma'al to remedy multiple shortcomings in the MM status quo. Rehabilitating Ma'al grants J'onn a direct foil, expands his (sorely undernourished) supporting cast, and most importantly allows J'onn to define himself by putting his beliefs into action. He's willing to give up his station, his privilege, and his life on Mars to defend his brother's right to live. That conveys so much to the audience and provides us with greater understanding of what makes him tick. Ma'al getting to be more than just despicably EVIL also gifts us with an overtly disabled character who is allowed to express themselves and help bolster the strongest themes of the Martian corner of the DCU. Apolgies for the wall of text. Thanks for all your creative work and I'm looking forward to more!
asdfasf!! oh my gosh thank you so much for all these kind words!! Gosh like I know a good bunch of how I play around with Martian worldbuilding will probably fly over most people's heads since J'onn's lore is not common knowledge to even DC fans, but it's when someone knows the material I'm pulling from and can see exactly how my choices are informed that I get really!! Happy! Emotional! Thank you 😭😭 more martian talk below asdfasf
in short: YES TO ALL THIS! I agree that while Ma'al had a whole history before he came to Earth as A Surviving Member Of An Extinct Race Turns Out To Be Bad News, he still absolutely kicked off that trend of rogues for J'onn. Kind of similar to how M'gann really shifted Martian lore away from ableism and more towards racism and civil war.
Right! I think the fact that J'onn's occupation changes so much (where he's even reimagined as a sort of renaissance man with how many Martian jobs he had) before settling on "generally a cop" makes J'onn's ideals all the more ill defined. Clark is a working class investigative journalist and that informs his heroism! He has the themes of hope, marginalization and survival to inform it too. How does any of J'onn's occupations inform his heroism in any specific way? Especially when modern versions of J'onn reimagine him as both a Black man and a cop (when paired with Martian racism it's even worse) 😭 this stuff needs to be thought through! Most of the time, J'onn's just saving people because it's his job. He's a cop because that's the closest analog to what being a manhunter is on Mars, but then what? Why does he care?
And lastly once more! Thank you so much on the kind words about my version of Ma'al and J'onn! It means so much to me when I can take a "but why him tho" character out of obscurity and get people to understand just how much this change can really benefit not just Ma'al, but J'onn and Martian lore as a whole. I truly believe Ma'al is the key to revitalizing Martian Manhunter as a superhero, and your response perfectly describes why.
It was important for us to still have J'onn grapple with some sort of grief (since that's such a prominent theme for him) but have him actively demonstrate his ideals when put under pressure and show what he truly believes in. J'onn is usually pitched as "Batman meets Superman" because he's an alien detective, but the result is J'onn being redundant of both. We thought, since Bruce and Clark didn't have a choice in the inciting incidents that started their origins, why not make it so J'onn has an active choice in his? We shifted his ideals from his vague "I'm protecting my new home so it won't suffer the way Mars did" to "No one fights harder for what they love than J'onn J'onzz". Shifting the trajectory of the character from grief to radical love.
In the process of re-interpreting Ma'al from being allegorically/coded as disabled to being an explicitly disabled character, Martian ableism can be more properly discussed as the strongest theme to Martian lore (that functions way better than the shapeshifter racism). And in turn, we got to deconstruct the inherit authority-protecting respectability of J'onn's canon heroism.
I like the green guys a whole lot
#askjesncin#martian manhunter#never apologize for talking about martians to me because I will talk martian stuff RIGHT ON BACK#I'm truly touched at people taking the time to read the Ma'al essay. yall are wonderful#jesncin dc meta
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GNAWING ON THAT OC GIVE ME INFORMATION
YESYES OKAY!!! *inhale* SO.
(this all might change later since he's still pretty new)
General info I guess (haven't fleshed out his backstory much yet.)
was a Catholic priest before the AM takeover (obvis)
he's roughly in his mid/late 30's- early 40's
he doesn't have a name yet because I'm stupid.
He lived in the United States when AM attacked. He was born in Poland and moved to the US in his mid 20's. (probably someplace like Texas or Utah... )
probably gay or in some way queer but DEEPLY in denial. (also in my mind IHNMAIMS takes place in the 60s/70s somewhere around that time so like... y'know... also makes room for the religious guilt plotline.)
Kinda stopped believing in god after long enough in AM's complex because like really who wouldn't. throwback to Ted's entire spiel about AM being god y'know the one.( Ik that wasn't meant litterally but the sentiment still works.)
As for his relationship with the other survivors and his torture.
Ellen- He'd most likely be less harsh on her and not really like.... *ahem*. use her. He'd always been a pretty compassionate man he was never like the freaky creep kind of priest/pastor. He can most likely sympathize with her past a bit as well- or atleast as much of it as she's willing to share which I imagine isn't much.
Nimdok- This mf is Polish. He does not like Nimdok. (If we're talking game Nimdok which is what I'm basing this... AU, I guess? off of.) I don't think they'd actively beef but they'd prolly just try to avoid eachother within the group. In terms of book Nimdok I think there's a slight possibility they could've gotten along. Honestly for Nimdok like... (Idr if where I saw this I think it was from a fic somewhere) but I like the idea that he wasn't actually a n*zi but since it's mentioned his memory is fucked AM just convinced him and the others he was so pin them against him and fuck with him some more. idk man allied mastercomputer behaviour. It also makes me dread thinking about him a little less.
Gorrister- Surprisingly, I think they'd get along. Even if they don't share a religion I think they'd find solace in confiding their guilts in eachother, esp with Gorrister's guilt over what happened with Glynis-- also since it's mentioned in the book Gorrister used to be an activist (which I think is more interesting than his trucker backstory from the game so I'm sticking with the activist storyline.) I feel like he's the least likely to be quite as homophobic as the others (cause let's be real here.) so maybe. MAYBE. He'd eventually try talking about some of those buried up feelings with Gorrister. Unlikely though. Overall I think they could be the closest thing to friends I can imagine with their situation.
Benny- I think they could've gotten along pre-monkey'd, (For Benny I like to combine his book and game backstory in my mind so tldr he was a professor and was later fired when it was discovered he was gay and then the enlisted in the military and killed 3 people. boom.) I think Priest oc would've respected them but after the monkey moment I feel like he'd kinda treat him like the family dog just as the other survivors do.
Ted- Ohhh boy. I have some words I'm not sure I'm allowed to use on Tumblr. They'd either get along or beef or some secret third evil and more sinister thing. Toxic without the yaoi. They make eachother worse. I need to map my thoughts out better before I write anything about them out. giggles but not in a good way.
wow I really used this as an excuse to dump about my ideas for the other survivors too huh.
Whilst I haven't sat down to ponder how AM would fuck with him I do know I wanna play off the theme of guilt somehow. I can imagine him being ripped apart by wolves for some reason that's just been like stuck in my head the whole time I've been typing all this out. Also maybe almost something with sacrificial themes? I'm kinda thinking about how Benny's part in the game ends for inspo on that it's hitting the right vibe. Please don't cancel me I'm Polish and all my family is Catholic.
Annon I hoped you liked reading this cause I had fun writing it. Also here he is again for anyone who's seeing this but didn't see the og post.
also I'm SO open to name suggestions for this freak cause I've got NOTHING.
#i yapped so hard#im honestly not sure how much im allowed to say on tumblr#how edgy can i get#i wish i could write#this was fun though#wrote this on the site and it made me realize how diff american vs british spelling is (im canadian)#ihnmaims#i have no mouth and i must scream#i have no mouth and i must scream oc#ihnmaims oc#AM#allied mastercomputer#ellen#benny#ted#nimdok#gorrister#ihnmaims writing#writing#oc backstory#ask#i have no mouth and i must scream fanart#ihnmaims game#drabble
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im not too sure if this is the right account to send this ask to (very sorry if it isnt) but i was curious if youd be willing to chat/ramble about your own personal jekyll and hyde version? i remember having a small talk with you on artfight about your jekyll and hyde version (im dragondog from artfight if youre curious) and my curiosity has been peaked ever since. i need to know more. your own personal jekyll and hyde designs and story seem so interesting but i rarely see you talk about them which i think is just absolutely criminal.
:00000000
The sacred question has been asked - someone has asked about my ocs-
This is a perfectly okay account to ask this to! It's the closest I've got to a Jekyll and Hyde account after all.
Anyway, thank you so much for asking!!! This ask was gnawing at me in a good way for most of the day while I was away from my computer, considering what information to include and how to explain stuff. It was a lot of fun!
I'm also glad you found them interesting!!!
(Also going to say before I start is that my Jekyll and Hyde versions get very self indulgent which is why I usually keep them to myself so some factors about my story might sound rather weird or seem to come out of left field. Just a heads up.)
So I guess the best place to start would probably be with Jekyll and Hyde themselves?
Like the book, the two of them are basically the same person. When Jekyll turns into Hyde and vice versa, nobody 'takes control', it's more like getting high or drunk where they're still the same person but still act quite different or think differently from each other.
However, they do have differing opinions on each other. Hyde, being a less repressed version of Jekyll, understands a lot of Jekyll's emotions better than him. He knows when Jekyll regrets something or cares more than he wants to let on. Though, as much as he can have these realisations, when he turns back into Jekyll, he tends to dismiss them as 'irrational' thoughts brought on by the potion and not worth considering (aka, the repression kicks in and he refuses to entertain any conclusions he came to as Hyde.)
This leads to a lot of frustration and concerns from Hyde. The knowledge that he has to turn back into Jekyll, whereupon anything he's realised about themself, anything that could help them both, will be instantly dismissed by himself the moment he turns back. No matter how much he writes it down or tells it to himself again and again because it's not forgotten, Jekyll just doesn't want to look at it. And he can't just bother Jekyll as a hallucination ghost like most adaptations. When he turns back, Hyde is gone. Like a stain of breath on glass.
This also leads to fear from Hyde towards his alter ego - If Jekyll ever decided the potion wasn't worth his time and threw it away, Hyde would be unable to do anything about it, would be the one throwing it away in fact. He wouldn't be able to scream or protest or anything. And he enjoys being Hyde. It wouldn't really be death but he enjoys being Hyde so much and hates the monotony of Jekyll so much that it would be like a death.
Luckily, Jekyll isn't planning on throwing the potion out because they do feel the same way and Jekyll enjoys taking the potion and being Hyde just as much (even if he would never actually admit that's the reason). The fear is still there though, ever present.
...I've gotten so deep into explaining their relationship that I have not explained anything else yet, whoops.
Both Jekyll and Hyde have some inhuman traits about them since the first transformation. Jekyll has mildly reflective eyes like a cat but it can only be seen in certain lighting so nobody notices. He also moves with a little too much perfection, a little too graceful, a little lacking in the usual human clumsiness.
Hyde, meanwhile, is just very off putting in many ways. For one is his eyes as shown by this diagram that I made for artfight. (Also his teeth, and his insides being green)
His eyes change shape, a bit like a cartoon character. Other people can, in fact, see this and it is, in fact, weird for them. (He can also probably say <3 and everyone else asks how he just did that with his mouth.)
He also changes based on Jekyll's perception of himself and his 'evils'. This means he can get taller or shorter, or become more obviously monstrous or go back to just being a guy with an uneasy feel about him just based on Jekyll's opinions. If Jekyll starts to fear Hyde and view him as a threat, Hyde changes physically to reflect this.
Personality-wise, Jekyll likes to keep control over every aspect of his life, creating perfect schedules for everything that he's going to do in a day, timing each event down to the minute, designing contingencies in case anything unexpected happens. He can be friendly enough to other people for the sake of his image but he still comes across as rather cold and distant.
Hyde, meanwhile, is obviously free of all this and does whatever he pleases. He tends to be loyal and loving, to the point of being a little too obsessed, and is exceedingly open about how he's feeling. He's also incredibly truthful - he almost never lies about anything but will often fae-rule his way out of anyone realising the real truth. For example, he's very open about being Doctor Jekyll but nobody believes him because he'll just drop it into a conversation and won't elaborate or will elaborate in a way that just sounds even more like a lie. And, of course, Jekyll himself will obviously deny it, so...
Besides that, Jekyll keeps three lab rats, Noir, Spot, and Rose who, due to the potion being used on them, can also change shape like Jekyll and Hyde. As such, Hyde tends to take them with him when he goes out.
(Also, smaller headcanon but Hyde tends to repeat words or phrases twice, "Indeed indeed", "What? What?", etc. Just seemed like a fun addition.)
-
Next, Lanyon.
Lanyon and Jekyll are on weird terms because they had a fight years back. After seeing Jekyll's science get more and more dangerous over the years, Lanyon was afraid that he would some day hurt himself in a way he couldn't take back or even die from it. After trying to convince Jekyll to stop for ages, Lanyon finally put their foot down and said that, if Jekyll didn't stop, they would leave.
Both Jekyll and Lanyon deeply regret the argument but neither of them can take it back. Jekyll is too stubborn to admit that he was ever in the wrong and Lanyon can't take it back because then they don't have anything else to hold over Jekyll's head to get him to stop.
At least, that was how the fight was initially.
After the potion was taken, Lanyon, who was very close to Jekyll's mad science experiments and was very used to seeing the signs that Jekyll had done something to himself, was the only person who noticed the change. Seeing Jekyll's new changes terrified Lanyon deeply because he knew Jekyll had done something but he didn't know what. Being a rather skittish person, Lanyon was too scared to speak to Jekyll after that, doing all they could to avoid him.
Maybe things could have continued that way with the two avoiding each other. However, after the fight, Lanyon came out as genderfluid.
They had been meddling with their own gender before in quiet but the fight basically gave Lanyon the midlife crisis moment they needed to go "You know what? I don't care about anyone's opinions. I've seen what caring about ones image did to Jekyll and I don't want to be anything like that."
And so came Hastie and Hattie, two names for the same person, just using different pronouns and names based on what Lanyon felt like at the time.
Jekyll, however, was avoiding hearing anything about Lanyon and completely missed this massive piece of information. Jekyll is also notably, very wrapped up in his own very small world and opinions (also, no internet). He has no idea that transness is a thing.
Hence, Jekyll believes that Hastie and Hattie are not the same person but, instead, brother and sister. Lanyon, meanwhile, who was so open and so gossiped about when they first came out, doesn't even realise that anyone could??? not know????? that they're the same?????? Everyone else knows! They don't even look that different!
This all cumulates in one fateful night where Lanyon, going by Hattie, and Hyde meet. The two of them get along like a house on fire, neither caring much for society's rules and both of them being in some way being shunned for their peculiarities. Hyde is much more outgoing and often pushes Lanyon outside of their comfort zone while Lanyon is more level-headed and can often do the planning and thinking that Hyde neglects to keep them both safe.
All the while, Hyde has no idea that he's talking to Hastie and Lanyon has no idea that they're talking to Jekyll.
Personality-wise Lanyon tends to be very down-to-earth and prefers to do things by the book for the most part. Though this is only for the most part - in terms of dealing with other people, Lanyon gets much more expressive, dressing wildly and often doing strange things like taking live geese into a dinner party. While this does allow them to express themselves in some ways that are beneficial to them, like becoming comfortable with their gender identity, some of these behaviours, like the live geese in the dinner party, are very much a way to push away the people around them, afraid of something going wrong after their experiences with Jekyll.
Until they meet Hyde, Utterson is their only friend (which Utterson is quite concerned about, often trying to encourage Lanyon to make more friends.)
Besides that, Lanyon is fond of gardening, collecting crystals, astrology, and yoga. They dabble with a lot of relaxation stuff like chamomile tea, incense, lavender, etc.
-
Utterson, meanwhile, tends to be the most calm and collected out of the three of them, seemingly unbothered by most of what life throws at him and good at handling even the most stressful situations with ease. Not to mention, he has the most unexpected range of skills and knowledge. Whenever anyone has a problem, he's the number one person to go to for help.
However, for the most part, he fades into the background and tends to remain forgotten until someone needs him for something which leaves him lonely and often desperate for attention while being unable to get it. His work as a lawyer allows him to get fleeting amounts of attention, but it's not quite enough and that often leaves him vulnerable to falling in with bad people.
While Lanyon sees straight through Jekyll, Utterson has fallen quite a bit into seeing Jekyll as innocent and naïve, someone who doesn't fully understand how cruel the world can be and needs to be protected from it. This means, when Hyde shows up and Jekyll changes his will for him, Utterson is quite quickly defensive of Jekyll and aggressive towards Hyde, believing that Hyde has nothing but bad intentions. Hyde, however, is quite head-over-heels for Utterson and determined to seduce him or at least set him up with Jekyll.
While Utterson appears unaffected by anything that crosses his path, this is actually because he has difficulty expressing his emotions, his expression and tone generally remaining static. Only people close to him can generally tell what he's thinking and feeling as a result.
Personality-wise, Utterson is generally quite kindly and generous, often seen giving food and money to the homeless. Though, his morality can be a bit of a roulette wheel at times, willing to do questionable things at times if he deems it for a good enough cause.
In terms of hobbies, he will often bake things for his friends and carried the three of them through university as the only one who could actually cook. He also has a slightly more morbid interest in taxidermy and keeps a room in his house for his work.
(For another smaller headcanon, he and Lanyon tend to get into pun fights, much to Jekyll's agony.)
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Then there's Lenore Carew (aka, Lisa Carew, she just got renamed along the way). She makes up the third member of Hyde's little friendship squad with Lanyon. An excitable lady with an interest in the occult and monsters. She and Jekyll were once set to be married but, due to a mutual realisation that neither liked the other in that way, they broke it up. Jekyll has been avoiding her ever since, finding the situation awkward, but Hyde is very much down to be friends with her again.
While she does her best to live up to her family name, being as much of a respectable and graceful lady as she can be, in her spare time she'll often sneak out to go running after whatever haunted house or cryptid sighting she's heard of lately.
The actual reason for her interest is because her mother, before she died, was a prophet, gifted with Sight and Lenore, raised with all these stories of her grandeur and powers, is determined to find a way to awaken those same powers in herself.
However, along the way, these powers actually do start to manifest and, as it turns out, a lot scarier and more difficult to control than she ever realised.
Most particularly, sometimes when she looks at Jekyll, she sees something - or someone - else in his place. She has no idea what these visions mean, whether it's a vision from the future, from the past, or something else entirely.
Personality-wise, while she can excitable and often gets ahead of herself, she can be very kind and compassionate towards others, always the first to slow down and check if someone is okay or to offer a hug to those in need. She can also often show a childish side, enjoying stuffed toys, getting along well with kids, or just playing games.
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Uh, so anyway, there's a bunch more but this post is getting long and I've taken all day with this. If I take much longer, it's going to look like I'm not going to answer. I think this is the stuff that most people would be interested in anyway, Lanyon, Utterson, Jekyll, and Hyde. I'm still missing out an explanation of the worldbuilding itself and the antagonists, not to mention little details and side characters like Poole and such.
I fool around with these characters a lot and that means there's more information than I even remember most of the time until something pops into my head and I go "Ohhhh that plot point. That was fun."
Thank you again for the ask!!!!
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The Nine Houses
Worldbuilding/Lore
<< Previous: Masterpost
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The Nine Houses refer to planets, named, presumably, in order of colonisation. I'm befuddled as to which one is which planet, if we're going on the assumption that this is the solar system. This is what I've extrapolated from reading:
First is Earth.
Second is most likely Mars - gathered from the fighting energy of its house, proximity to Earth and viability for terraforming, and also this:
"[...]Each Beast is different. I have fought numerous now, and each Beast is quite unlike any other … Number Two spewed quicksilver and remade itself into hundred-foot spikes. Number Six kept sucking us into enormous sphincters and spraying us with worms. I cannot even remember what it looked like. I remember Number Four … it was a humanoid creature with a beautiful face who held me under the water, and it spoke in a lovely voice but it only repeated, die, die—and I recall Number One as a great and incoherent machine … when I saw it I thought it had a great tail, and a thousand broken pillars on its back, but Cassiopeia saw it as a mechanical monster with swords for wings, and great horns of myelin, tessellated over with graves.” It was the Saint of Duty who said, restlessly: “Number Eight was a giant head.” “Finned like a fish,” said Augustine, lost in reverie. “Its ribs were bloody bandages, and its teeth protruded through its own skull, tangled about its face like a nest. It was red, and it had a single eye of green that moved all about the body …"
Metal-related appearance, from the planet notoriously rusty.
Actually, this passage describing the Resurrection Beasts - revenants of the planets - was the thing that got me into trying to assign planets to Houses based on, mostly, vibes.
Forth could be Venus, based on this passage alone. I could easily be wrong.
Sixth is Mercury I reckon. In the epilogue of HtN the setting is described as very hot - close to Dominicus. I reread it now and I don't think it's ever mentioned to be set on the Sixth, in fact parts of it actively contradict that assumption, but somehow I seem to have gotten that into my head anyway? But even so, Sixth is described as the one closest to Dominicus - notably this passage:
The Emperor dropped to his haunches and eased the white robe off Mercy’s dead shoulders. He shrugged his naked body into it—coyly pulling it closed—and he stretched his jaw in his mouth, and wriggled the tip of his newly grown nose. “Right,” he said, and closed his eyes briefly. Then he said, “The sun has stabilized. Hope the Sixth House didn’t get cooked in the flare.”
This to me pretty much confirmed the Sixth as Mercury.
Eighth, in the above passage about the Resurrection Beasts, is described in ways that immediately make me picture Jupiter. Red, a single eye of green moving all over the body? Ribs were bloody bandages? A "giant head" - Jupiter, in Roman mythology was the king of the gods? Am I way off the mark here?
And Ninth is Pluto, furthest from the sun, cold and desolate. And solid. (How are they pulling off living on gas giants?)
This leaves the Third, Fifth, Seventh houses to be matched with Saturn, Uranus and Neptune. At a loss, still, for how gas giants are supposed to be colonised. The general infrastructure of the pre- and post-resurrection world/Empire has me asking questions like, where do they get the materials to build starships and feed their officers? Metal and plastic seem abundant. In terms of food we've mostly seen snow leeks, Canaan House and the Mithraeum, all of which are probably exceptional to what a regular House person eats. There is some talk of John's expansion and colonising efforts, so do they just go to random planets - are there aliens in this universe? (Is Alecto one?) So the Empire is expanding, mining colonised planets for ore and oil to turn into plastic - though that would indicate a lot of life on a lot of these planets, so I'm gonna guess that whatever happens to those planets isn't kind to the native flora, fauna and people.
Of course, there's always the option that this isn't meant to be the planets at all, and even if it was, it might be a lot more metaphorical. Or just actually a completely different world to ours, not the solar system at all. (Though there's many explicit and implicit pop culture references which would indicate the First to truly be Earth, so we're sticking with this theory.)
Are they actually on the planets - we haven't seen any planets other than First, and Ninth, arguably big exceptions; the Epilogue seems to be set on a moon of some kind, after a more thorough reread. The Actual Planets are dead, or rather resurrected, with their revenants on the hunt. Could be that the Houses do stand for the planets, and some people might be living on (or near) the actual planets, but a lot of people are actually living away from the solar system entirely - born into "Houses" far from the sun, into the Emperor's war machine. It's hard to tell.
Either way, I'm not gonna assign any more planets now until I know more.
>> Next: The Resurrection
#does this count as liveblog? i'll tag it as if it does for now#tlt liveblog#tlt theories#the locked tomb#tlt#no nona the ninth spoilers please#the locked tomb liveblog#tlt spoilers#gideon the ninth#harrow the ninth
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Happy night before the WNBA regular season starts to everybody who celebrates! I've gotten a couple of asks about trying to get into the W and which teams to support etc. etc. The best way to actually get into it, as with anything, is probably to just start watching games and seeing what team you vibe with. But I also figured I'd give y'all a ranking of my support of teams based solely on my opinion, partly based on player/playing style and partly based on vibes.
New York Liberty: Listen, I'm not actually a Liberty fan if we're honest but Breanna Stewart is my GOAT, and my favorite player of all time. Therefore where she goes, I go. Also on the Liberty, we have JJ who I adore (and has apparently locked a new level) and Betnijah Laney who is so underrated but so fucking good. If you're gonna root for the Liberty, a reminder that Sandy Brondello might have coached a team to a championship, but it doesn't mean she isn't gonna make you question her coaching at least once every game. When the Liberty are great, they're GREAT. When they're not, well...
Connecticut Sun: The closest I have to a home team and home to the most versatile player in the country, Alyssa Thomas. Can do everything, will do everything and is still so underrated. Brionna Jones is back from injury this year and I'm so excited for her and DB to be a lethal frontcourt duo. And if you're here for the Huskies, MoJeff is back home baby and I have a feeling ONO is going to take a big step this year. The issue with the Sun is they are very much always a bridesmaid, never a bride meaning they make it to the semis/finals but never win, will things change? Stay tuned!
Seattle Storm: For the longest time, because of Stewie, this was my team and I'll always have a soft-spot for them. They've gone out and made themselves into a super team of sorts with a core-4 of SDS-Jewell-Nneka-Ezi and while the pre-season hasn't quite shown that super team, I think time to gel will make them as good as ever. They also have a young core that I'm really excited to watch them develop with Nika (MY GIRL MADE IT) and Jordan Horston. Seattle's culture is one of the best in the league and while they might not win this year, if you're looking to stan for a long time, Seattle, with new team ownership member Sue Bird, is a solid choice!
Minnesota Lynx: The dynasty in rebuild. If a man hadn't ruined it, this would still be Maya Moore's team and she would be the face of the league but I digress. You know who the Lynx do have though? Napheesa. Fucking. Collier. My girl has been underrated for so much of her career, robbed of so many things (*cough* NPOY her senior year *cough*) but watch, this year or the next, Phee is gonna make the league give her her things i.e she's gonna be MVP. Also in Minny, your all-Rookie team favorites Dorka and Diamond are back and my girl AP is also in the mix. Again like Seattle, this is a team with a solid winning culture and if you wanna be here a long time, Cheryl Reeve will figure it out.
Washington Mystics: No Elena Delle-Donne and Mike Thibault is clearly tanking for Paige (mans is literally admitting it this not an assumption) so if this is your team, you'll be good soon, but probably not this year. Despite that thought, the Mystics always just kinda figure it out a little bit and I'm excited to see how Shakira Austin develops. And of course my MVLi is on the Mystics and she's gonna get a lot of playing time and I'm just very excited for her.
Phoenix Mercury: The Mercury have no business being this high on any list I know but they have DT and BG and I'm always gonna love those two. How far can a coach whose only qualification is basically being a "girl dad" take a WNBA team? Well I guess we'll find out (it's looking unlikely). Also the potential for drama on this team is always high because if you've seen the infamous picture, they have Kahleah Copper and Sophia Cunningham, what could possibly go wrong right?
LA Sparks: Before we get into now, let's get into the past because this team once upon a time had Nneka-Candace-Chelsea and fumbled all three. Just think about that. ANYWAYS moving on, Curt Miller (traitor of all time) is an interesting character, some love him, some hate him, but most can agree he's relatively a good coach. I genuinely do not know what's gonna happen but I think Rickea and Cam have the potential to become one of the best duos in the league eventually. Also Kia Nurse? Apparently in a mood to be a menace and I'm here for it.
Dallas Wings: Arike and Satou. That is it. That is all. I personally think Dallas is one good move (idk what move but it definitely wasn't a good move to trade Crystal) away from becoming a perennial championship contender. Arike and Satou is a good duo to start with but they're missing something and I can't quite put my finger on it. Either way, this is team built for offense and when they're winning, it's fun to watch, when they're not well...it's a good thing I'm not that invested. ALSO LOU IS BACK FOR THEM THIS YEAR!!
Indiana Fever: Never underestimate the Fever's ability to fuck it up. A lot of new fans are about to realize that this franchise does not know what the fuck they're doing for the most part. You hope having two generational talents in AB and CC will change that and I genuinely hope it does, because I would love to have them higher on my list. But for now, with absolutely no trust in anybody on that coaching staff, I'mma just watch it play out and hope for the best. Also shoutout Nalyssa Smith who I think is gonna get overlooked but have a great season.
Las Vegas Aces: Is it blasphemous to have the reigning champs this low? Potentially but blasphemy is also in treating a pregnant woman like shit and not putting your teammate with domestic violence charges/allegations on blast. Listen I'm not a complete hater and I do genuinely think the world of A'ja Wilson and Chelsea Gray. But I hate their us vs the world mentality and I'm not a huge Becky Hammon fan (that woman can coach her ass off though). Despite all of that, Vegas is still a fun team to watch and I expect them to continue to be the best team in the league.
Chicago Sky: GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE JAMES WADE. The Sky are this low for me solely because it feels like a brand new team. They've lost a lot and gained a lot and I'm so excited to see Angel and Kamilla be the twin towers. More than anything I'm very excited to see T-Spoon as their head coach. Ngl though, beyond that, nothing really moves me and the Sky as an organization, we all saw the press conference room, really, really, really don't move me.
Atlanta Dream: Honestly they just kinda dropped this low for no reason other than for some reason, I just don't really care about them? But it's also because I keep forgetting that they have Tina. Fucking. Charles on their team now, which means if I ever do this again, they'll be much higher because Tina Charles is AMAZING and I love her and she raises this ceiling of this team to something else. Also very excited to see Rhyne Howard progress along with her.
That was long for no reason really and I think it was more me ranting then anything of actual help but it's W season lovelies, prepare to potentially be sick of me! WBB IS BACK!!
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Get to Know the Fic Writer
Thank you for the tag @leggywillow 🥰 Gosh I think I did this last year? Things have changed a bit!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
43
2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 463,350
3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
In the Shattering of Things (Cullen x f!Trevelyan, Hawke x f!Trevelyan) 141
The Boy Who Talked Too Much (Alistair x f!Cousland) 67
Some Kind of Witchcraft (Cullen x f!Trevelyan) 59
Unvarnished (Blackwall x f!Trevelyan) 57
The Protestations of the Commander's Bed (Cullen x f!Trevelyan) 46
4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Always! Oh man alwayyyys. I am so grateful for anyone who takes that extra moment to share something they liked or a thought that popped into their head. Truly. It's a special kind of reader that leaves comments. They really are the fuel that keep me going! Especially on my long fic I feel like I'm getting to know some of my readers and I love the discussions I've gotten into about my blorbo and her interactions with canon characters. OR just canon characters!
5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
Probably Fractures. I wrote it especially for Whumptober and in it Cullen's obsession with Samson led to a throwdown in Emprise that nearly left him dead and Rose is understandably at her wits end with him. They have 'make up sex' that does nothing to resolve any of the feelings of betrayal and abandonment and anger that Rose feels.
6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?
Probably The Commander, the Tevinter, and a Bottle of Lightning a Cullen & Dorian, Cullen POV fic where Cullen's romance with Rose Trevelyan seems to finally be coming to a head at long last.
7. Do you write crossovers?
Not yet! Probably won't though.
8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?
The closest is maybe vocal dislike of an original character. He's a competing love interest though, so I get it. People have their preferences and want to nudge me a certain way.
9. Do you write smut?
LOLLLL yes. 4 of my top 5 above are explicitly smuts and my long fic has 4 at this point. My friend @nirikeehan says "be the smut you wish to see in the world" so I try to write joyful, consensual, authentic feeling smuts that also capture the awkwardness/silliness/normality of sex. My hope is that someone reading it who isn't quite experienced with this stuff gets to see a really positive, realistic portrayal.
10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not to my knowledge.
11. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Nope
12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Not yet!
13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
I can't show my whole ass in the midst of a multiship long fic, so I will keep quiet on this one 🤐
14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
A Splinter of Light (my Rose and Dorian get stranded in the future during In Hushed Whispers Nightmare!AU fic)
15. What are your writing strengths?
Believable dialogue and banter, authentically drawn characters readers can root for, lively descriptions
16. What are your writing weaknesses?
PLOT. It's just always been a struggle for me. World building too. LISTEN. There's a reason I'm writing fan fic LOL. Though I recently got Scapple (from the Scrivener makers) and it has been a game changer! I'm using it for my long fic and my other major WIP Kiss Me Moonstruck right now.
17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
I've done it for a few select lines during Wicked Eyes Wicked Hearts, mostly to underscore how bad Hawke is at speaking Orlesian. But generally I will just note when a character is speaking in a new language.
18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?
Dragon Age! I stumbled into it a smidge over a year ago (after playing for 9ish years) and love it so much!
19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?
Cullen/Bethany Hawke
20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?
Oh man, barring my long fic which is my baby and still in progress it would probably have to be my new Cullen POV fic Thirst that digs into the lead up to his crisis during the Perseverance quest. But Kiss Me Moonstruck is my Hawke x f!Trevelyan MatchmakingMoms!AU WIP set during DA2, Act 2 and mannnn nothing makes me smile and laugh like this fic. I can't wait to publish it!
Tagging @delicatefade, @bluewren, @samseabxrn, @rowanisawriter, @greypetrel, @nirikeehan, @spicywarl0ck, @monocytogenes
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@onecornerface linked me to this paper, which I mostly agree quite a lot with, and lays out some thoughts that I've been having lately in a much more coherent, far less fundamentally angry form than I have. Particularly the fact that the American racial culture wars are primarily waged between rival groups of middle-to-upper-class whites and that the distinction between de jure and de facto segregation is actually important and worth focusing on.
I'm trying to think how to put certain thoughts in order, but over the last few years I have been increasingly fixated on the fact that de jure segregation and affirmative action have both been resolutely defeated in the law here in the US.
The defeat of segregation has been the quicker and more complete; I cannot bring to mind any attempt to revive Jim Crow or repeal the Civil Rights act.
Affirmative action, in contrast, has not been completely excised from the US but it seems to be well on the way out.
My followers will know that I like to piss people off by asking for a legislative or court victory for Affirmative Action that happened in the last half century. I think the closest I've gotten was a California ballot measure that didn't pass and maybe, like, one Supreme Court decision that was kind of a mixed bag rather than being entirely restrictive from the early 70s.
Both these situations strike me as incredibly weird, and people hate when I say that, because they sense a kind of dismissiveness lurking behind the assertion that these total legal defeats are weird.
Which frustrates me because it makes them incapable of even admitting that anything happened.
I cannot name any other important culture war issues like this. Roe V. Wade dates to very close to the Civil Rights Act, and American conservatives never once stopped working at overturning it through the courts and legislatures, and, as we know, they finally succeeded.
The same kind of continual push for legislation and court victories can be observed for every other culture war battle I can think of. If I asked you to name one legislative or court victory for anti-gay activists in the last fifty years you could probably name several off the top of your head, e.g. Prop 8 and the Defense of Marriage Act. If I asked you to name similar victories for pro-gay activists you'd cite Lawrence V. Texas and the Respect For Marriage Act.
Gay rights battles have been fought in the courts and legislature and continue to be fought up to the present day, just like battles over Abortion, drug use, gun rights, etc.
But the same is not true of Segregation or Affirmative Action. For example, current Supreme Court precedent bans the use of official racial quotas in college admissions. Affirmative Action advocates could pass trigger laws requiring such quotas, which would go into effect as soon as they could get friendly court judges to overturn current precedent. The same is true of white supremacists who want to bring back the bad old days.
But they don't.
When I point this out people get very angry and say, "Just because something isn't done by the courts or legislature doesn't mean people don't still do it. Here's an example of some private citizen doing something really egregious! Everybody knows that you don't get results by going to the courts or the legislature anymore! Please ignore all the states that are now banning abortion!"
I disagree. If something is a huge, controversial culture war flashpoint, but only one side has won any legal victories in a half century, that's actually so anomalous that I genuinely cannot come up with a third example after Segregation and Affirmative Action.
I think this is related to a conviction that destroying segregation and affirmative action are held (By different political groups) to be the key to achieving racial harmony.
It may look like segregation was defeated so thoroughly that nobody could possibly advocate for it seriously anymore, but that hasn't led to an end of racial strife. Since racial strife is caused by segregation, if it's still around that means segregation and race hatred must have somehow gone underground. Those feelings must be as strong as they were in the 60s, but now they're hiding and we have to do more and more psychological work to figure out where they're hiding.
And an essentially exactly analogous process happens for affirmative action.
Essentially, on the left the feeling is that if we had actually rooted out race hatred from the white psyche, we'd have racial harmony and equality.
We don't have racial harmony and equality, therefore the white psyche must still be riddled with race hatred, and we need to find it. It must be expressing itself through white chefs that want to cook soul food and tourists trying on kimonos, and we need to treat people who do those things as the racists they are.
On the right, the feeling is that the psychological problem is the ability to conceive of race at all; the way to racial harmony is colorblindness and particularly color-blind policy.
We don't have racial harmony and equality, therefore the affirmative action mindset must be heavily embedded in the left-wing psyche, and we need to find out where it is hiding. People hide it behind innocent-sounding phrases like "diversity" and "inclusion" and we need to run anybody who uses those phrases out of town on a rail.
Our whole approach to race in this country is devolving into increasingly hysterical attempts to force (white) people to have the correct attitudes about race.
Step back for a bit and the fact that we are trying to make it illegal to cause a white person to feel guilt about history has a sort of bizarre, 1,001 Nights fairytale quality about it. Like some fairy story where it is illegal to remind the Emperor that he will die someday.
I think I am coming around to the idea that racial strife in the US is no longer caused primarily by defects in the individual (white) psyche, and that our efforts to keep finding those defects are kind of the same mindset that convinced Soviet leaders that all failures were caused by sabotage.
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
Tagged by @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels and @devirnis
How many works do you have on ao3?
157
What's your total ao3 word count?
1,676,553
What fandoms do you write for?
Currently 9-1-1 but I also have written for The Almighty Johnsons, Les Mis, MCU, The Magicians, White Collar, 911 LS, Graceland, The Hobbit, The Man from UNCLE, Now You See Me, The Flash, Star Wars, Burn Notice, and Royal Pains.
Top five fics by kudos:
I Couldn’t Stand the Person Inside Me I Turned All the Mirrors Around
Oh Captain (My Captain), Our Fearful Trip is Done
Used to Think That Lovin' Meant a Painful Chase
If I Fall, Can You Pull Me Up?
Hiding the Christmas Present (of You and Me)
Do you respond to comments?
Nope
What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Bleeeehhhhhh...... I don't like writing angsty endings so probably Fallin’ Into Your Ocean Eyes or A Discovery of Boxer Briefs
What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
OHHH.... You know I don't actually know? Probably one of my AUs? I would pick some but then we'd be here all day.
Do you get hate on fics?
I've gotten a few rude comments and one comment that accused me of internalized misogyny on a fic where a female character actually saved hundreds of people which was pretty funny. I just usually delete them.
Do you write smut?
Hehehehee yes I do!
Craziest crossover:
No crossover yet! I did do one for Graceland and Les Mis but I wouldn't call that crazy.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I have with another author's work. Thankfully it got deleted.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
Not that I am aware of!
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yes with @buddie-buddie
All time favourite ship?
Probably Buddie!
What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I don't generally quit a WIP. It just takes me forever 🤣 I have had an idea I was toying around with get shot down that kinda killed my inspiration for it but that's the closest I can think of!
What are your writing strengths?
Characterization!
What are your writing weaknesses?
Bleh I'm horrible at miscommunication! I also hate editing.
Thoughts on dialogue in another language?
If it fits the characterization then sure! If I'm not fluent or can't have someone who is read through it then I just write in English.
First fandom you wrote in?
Charmed!
Favourite fic you've written?
Omg so rude! Probably a fic that isn't listed on my account right now or The Warmth (of You) or.... Traded
Tagging: @bigfootsmom @rogerzsteven @buddie-buddie @homerforsure @mellaithwen
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The Ink Demonth 2023 - Day 1. Pencil
Attention, attention! Ready or not, Nayia is in the game!
Yes, yes, I know. SATIM strip. It should have been published BEFORE the first Ink Demonth was - and I sincerely intended to, but... well, time to admit something I'm ashamed of... I lost next strip. I lost the finished strip lineart somewhere in the mess on my other desk. And I'd like to find it, but I still don't have time to clean it up. So I decided that there's no point in delaying Ink Demonth because of the next strip - 'cause I'm about to miss the whole event. Well, the chances of me making it whole in time are... small, but whatever...
The theme of this year's Ink Demonth of Nayia: crossovers. Let's go!
Day 1. Pencil Crossover: Mickey Mouse (old fashion) There was a time when Henry and Joey were friends and could laugh and have fun together, creating their little empire.
This picture also fits the next entry, Friendship - but I came up with something much better there :)
I must admit that I had surprisingly fun while making this art. It draws very strangely, deliberately leaving guide lines, I also had to check what guide lines normal cartoonists do (mine are quite different, which you can see if you watch the CotL pictures I upload on tumblr, where I don't erase the pencil). While drawing this, I came to realize that young Henry was wearing sideburns. Mainly because I like sideburns on drawn characters. Young Joey... isn't the final design for this character, but it's probably the closest I've gotten to his look so far.
Bendy and the Ink Machine (c) Joey Drew Studios Inc. Mickey Mouse (c) Disney Sammy and the Ink Machine (c) Nayia Lovecat
#The Ink Demonth#Bendy and the Ink Machine#Sammy and the Ink Machine#BATIM#SATIM#Disney#Mickey Mouse#Bendy the Dancing Demon#Bendy#Henry Stein#Joey Drew#friendship#The Ink Demonth 2023#crossover
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Jujutsu Kaisen Season 2 Episode 3: Hidden Inventory 3
I'll be the first to say it, this episode is markedly better than the prior two. It's better in quite a few different ways, though is still peppered with quite a few complaints. Would I say that things are looking up? Probably not, no. Would I say there's a chance at this adaptation getting better as we go on? Quite possibly, yes. It's a very weird spot, but this episode does well almost because it doesn't try to be Jujutsu Kaisen, rather it tries to move as far away from it as it can, and it's in the pieces that are central to JJK that you understand something is wrong. Confusing yes, but hopefully I can break down my thoughts into more detail with this post.
I like to call what I've just described the "Tanya The Evil Effect". It's an aspect where the depiction of a story and its events ends up so far deviated in tone and experience, that when under good direction and work you can still value and appreciate it as something disparate from the source material.
The episode director isn't in over their head this episode, Gosso isn't hamfisting excessive and incoherent direction into the content at large, there's just a lot of stuff that greatly divorces this episode from Gosso's vision at large, and is part of why it remains successful.
I still think there's things that are silly and pointless changes for the sake of cutting corners, like this sequence of Kuroi and Geto talking where they're static in the anime vs in motion in the manga. It's just one of those simple things that provides context and agency to the situation. Why would Geto and Kuroi be standing still if Amanai is in danger?
If you take a closer look at the episode, it's actually quite odd. There's a lot of direction that's bog standard, just characters in frame standing still. But then you get random bursts of direction that are surprisingly solid, like this piece of Amanai behind the fence/bars, symbolizing her isolation and feeling of being prisoner to her role as the Star Plasma Vessel. Arguably one of the only scenes that makes proper use of the change of scenery from the rooftop rendezvous of the manga.
Anyways, onto Okinawa. I'm disappointed, but also surprised. Incredibly sad to not see Gojo's summer hairstyle on display, but I also feel like with a lot of these scenes, this is the closest we'll manage to S1/manga humor parity.
Alright, back into disappointment mode. Very sad that they didn't include this pose/panel for Haibara and Nanami. Why don't we just continue to strip the characterization and style of this cast more, MAPPA? Also, poor Haibara man. Nanami's already a lost cause sadly, but I at least had a bit of hope for Haibara in spite of the early showings of their character design. Even worse than I was expecting to be honest. The energy and slightly goofy nature just does not exist within him in the anime.
Have to shout out my boy Asta/Tadano though. Love seeing Gakuto Kajiawara getting more and more VA roles.
Where was I? Oh yeah, Okinawa. This is now a drama anime, plain and simple. The framing/layouts/etc are all very much drama leaning, and it's well done. It's just that compared to what the manga offers.... it's, well, decidedly not it. Also, unsure why, but random scenes in the episode are very low-res? I know Tumblr compression does not help at all, but this scene in particular is incredibly grainy and odd. There's also something wrong here in how dull Gojo and Geto's colors are in the shade compared to how vibrant the scene is in the light. I wouldn't call it bad compositing, but the color design doesn't feel quite right. I mean, the second image is of them in the exact same spot under the shade, but it looks so much better? The environment art is sharper in their vicinity, the character designs are more detailed, there's proper shading, and the colors seem way more accurate/realistic.
Maybe I've just gotten used to the poor compositing/coloring of the series to be honest, because at first glance I didn't actually think it was as inconsistent as I'm finding it to be.
Also, shoutout MAPPA hating on Geto again man. This dude is just stepped all over through these episodes and it hurts me so much. His expressiveness is totally stripped away from him and replaced with some hollow smile that I'm sure anime onlies can even tell carries no weight. Like please tell me, who are these two people in the anime??? It just hurts, and it's the tip of the iceberg for the issues with faces and expressions.
Personally speaking, I think this one is the biggest failure from MAPPA. They literally did this exact defeated smile Geto loves to wear in JJK 0, and they can't repeat it for S2? It's just so painful to see them totally mismanage the characters despite having simpler designs so they can "be more expressive".
That's enough bemoaning what's happened to poor Geto, allow me to return to why this episode is actually better (though it only really borders on good) than the prior ones: that drama feel. They extend what's displayed in the manga of Amanai and co's Okinawa trip, and it's pretty well done. I'd say as a manga reader though? I don't really care, and I don't think it adds a great deal to the experience in the first place with how they chose to add things. The scenes are pretty and some of the best displayed in the episode though, of course. The good old MAPPA special of placing insane effort into original pieces while giving the source material the cold shoulder.
Okay, one little piece of criticism (though it's actually sorta big). MAPPA just can't keep their little paws off of messing up characters for some reason. It's a simple thing, I know, but it's also why I'm complaining about it. There was no need. No need to have Amanai place her hands behind her back, to do something that her character never did even once in the manga. But they do, and it changes the tone of Amanai simply walking through an aquarium, to Amanai placing more thought in the experience. A very frustrating and needless change that weighs down the actual potential displayed in the sequence at large.
Anyways, what makes this piece of the original adaptation good? Well, the use of the symbolism of fish was already strong in the manga thanks to Gege, as its used to further show Amanai's isolation and the lack of a group that she can exist alongside/be with. That part remains clear in the anime thankfully. The piece that adds to it though is the parallel between the aquarium and its customers. They place the idea of Amanai's isolation compared to the fish on top of the people visiting the aquarium. Sounds a little odd maybe but I'm bad at explaining, but the point is to show the isolation Amanai feels from seeing the fish (and whales) in the aquarium as a palpable and noticeable thing that she actively experiences.
Of course, I'm not without complaints, but I feel like it's easier to let it slide if you don't look deeply at this sequence. If you see it as something untethered to Amanai's character, the weird extra cuts of the fish swimming freely in the aquarium is fine, but putting it alongside the context of Amanai's character it's pretty confusing and excessive. Why spend all that time fixating on the movements of the fish trapped in an aquarium, relegated to their current fate? Feels like a tone deaf movement for some odd pursuit of artistry that neglects the function of the sequence.
Alright, on to the next butchered character/sequence! Toji and Gojo. Man, I knew what to expect considering they showed viewers as much of the "good" stuff as they could, but I didn't think it was going to get this weak.
I knew Toji was going to suffer, but I mean, how different can you really get and still call it the same character? What a weird shit-eating grin in the anime versus the far more creepy and naturally twisted smirk that rests on Toji's face. It's just incredibly bothersome to see them fail so miserably with reactions that are so important to characters.
And I mean, they do it again, and again, and again. The whole flashback sequence is meant to be played off like horror, and up until the reveal is well done. It's got tension, a cheesy horror soundtrack. It's got the potential to actually do something with the appeal it's aiming for, but it ultimately fails because what is Toji's reaction here? It's supposed to be the thing that he fears/despises/disgusts, but all that shows on his face is plain surprise? Compare that to the manga, and you see how flat and lifeless this reaction is.
Okay okay last one before I move on. What kind of pose is this? He's so relaxed and standing like he's already superior to Gojo, like he knows he could win effortlessly. It is absolutely not the pose and expression of a man set to go up against arguably the most feared sorcerer of his time.
Anyways, action and stuff. I don't think it's terrible. As I'd already established though it's not JJK action. It takes well done choreography and layouts, and reduces it to flashy cuts that viewers can barely piece together in time. What's more worth talking about is how dim and over processed the sequences are. They just end up looking so out of place no matter what MAPPA tries to do. Also man, the S2 OST really does stink. Even in a tense action sequence there's just zero heart in it. Such a massive flop compared to the electric work on S1 and 0.
Okay, yes, Keiichirou Watanabe's animation for Gojo's Blue is well done. But, if the camera wasn't having a seizure I'm sure it would be better received. Of course, same issues in regards to the prior statement about action with the dimming and over processing too. Wastes a lot of potential that the cut had to be a genuinely great piece of animation in the context of JJK. It still undeniably is, beneath all of the additional oddities that bury it, but it's pretty far removed from JJK.
If you want to understand what I'm saying, take a look at Hanami vs Yuji and Todo (Watanabe did the cut of Hanami's massive branch attack). Yes, the compositing is better for Gojo's blue, but take a look at the camera work. How much effort it places into keeping the duo in frame, how hard it tries to keep things cohesive and easy to follow. It's a night and day difference that shows the importance of a director in delivering the best version of someone's animation.
Anyways, here's Gojo's Blue sequence, as a video. Too long to make into a reasonable quality gif, and also insanely flashy and all over the place so nicer than having seizure material auto-play in two places at once.
Alright, so uh, Gojo dies, Toji pulls up with the gat and domes Amanai right in front of Geto, following it up by announcing that he killed Gojo. And then the episode ends. Honestly? I loved the ending just cause I know it'll cause so much chaos for viewers.
The episode overall though? It's weird that I think it noticeably better than the prior two when I've complained about so much, but maybe it's one of those things where the closer you get to being correct, the more faults you find in the thing being examined. Regardless, it feels like Toji's been incredibly nerfed from a viewer's perspective compared to the manga (alongside Geto and plenty of others), and honestly I had next to no hype for their actual sequence because it all felt so disjointed. The pacing of it felt off, and the action just didn't grab me with it's super flashy, highly processed, up close and personal so you can't quite tell what's going on combat. I'd say it's still a flop compared to what S1 would offer in comparison for big moments, but it's also done better on average when compared to the prior two episodes.
Pacing is of massive concern now though. We're three episodes in, with a total of five. It took us three episodes to make 8 chapters total, and we've got 6 though more likely 7 chapters of content left to cover for this arc, with only 2 episodes remaining. "Oh that's not too bad", except for the fact that there's the massive upcoming fight alongside us still having to get through Toji vs Geto. Even with the 6 instead of 7 chapters, even if they don't add any original content, they're speed-running at a minimum of 3 chapters for the last two episodes, which is pretty damn bold.
Is Hidden Inventory/Gojo's Past going to hold on and make it to the end in its current state, or will it rush itself to an early grave? Next episode will certainly be the deciding factor, but whatever it is, I'm not exactly hopeful of where we're going to be left.
#jujutsu kaisen#呪術廻戦#jjk#sorcery fight#gojo satoru#geto suguru#toji fushiguro#anime review#anime and manga#anime
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Fic Tag Game
I was tagged by @suchaladyy 🌸
20 questions:
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
55, divided into fandoms as follows: Wednesday (TV 2022) (24) The Boys (TV 2019) (21) The Lord of the Rings (8) Sin City - All Media Types (1) Almost Human (TV) (1)
2. What’s your AO3 word count?
368,862
3. What fandoms do you write for?
See #1. Currently only Wednesday, though I do hope to get back into The Boys soon, and I still have some unpublished LotR WIPs that I'd like to actually finish sometime...
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Private Tutor
Kinktober Day 8: Shaving (The Boys, Butcher/Hughie)
Kinktober Day 2: See-through (The Boys, Butcher/Hughie)
Kinktober Day 18: Rough Sex (The Boys, Butcher/Hughie)
How do I passive-agressively say ‘fuck you’ in flower?
5. Do you respond to comments?
Yes! I really appreciate when readers take the time to post a comment, so I always answer at least with a brief "thank you".
6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Defintiely the whole Closer series (LotR, Frodo/Éomer) because it is mostly canon compliant, so it ends with Frodo going into the West. 😭My Rough Sex series (The Boys, Butcher/Hughie) is also fairly angsty by its nature as a series of mildly canon divergent gap filler fics following through the episodes of S1 and S2 (so far).
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
I think pretty much anything apart from the above two series? Well, apart from the Struck by a Bolt series (The Boys, Butcher/Hughie), which has the potential to go either way.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
I haven't gotten outright hate, but certainly a few rude/entitled/"clearly hasn't read the tags or the end note despite me recommending to in the a/n at the beginning" comments.
9. Do you write smut? What kind?
LOL! All kinds. Soft, kinky (probably more kinky), some a bit dark. I seem to enjoy my ships a little fucked up.
10. Do you write cross-overs?
I don't have a proper crossover on my AO3 (see #12 for the reason why I specify it like this), though I'd love to write one sometime since I love reading them. The closest I've come is Kinktober Day 15: Monster Fucking (The Boys, Butcher/Hughie), which is heavily Beauty and the Beast inspired.
11. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes! Little Brother was translating Private Tutor into Russian, though they haven't updated it in a while.
12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Oh yes! In fact, the first fics I posted online were cowritten with two (originally three, but one of then dropped out shortly after we'd started) friends, though under a different pen name and in a crossover of two small fandoms (with additional ones sneaking in here and there). I haven't written for that series in at least 15 years, though I still have fairly extensive notes for a trilogy of stories centered around my OC and I'd love to get back to that eventually.
But more recently, I've cowritten Line Without a Hook with erraticallyinspired (holyfudgemonkeys), who afaik isn't on Tumblr, and An Addams Family Guide to Kidnapping with @nonamemanga. I'm currently working on something with @suchaladyy, and who knows what and who will be next? It's a lot of fun!
13. What WIP would you like to finish but doubt you ever will?
Oof! I only have unpublished WIPs which I'm not sure if I'll ever get to finish them. Mostly for LotR.
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
I really can't choose. Go look at my bookmarks on AO3, LOL!
15. What are your writing strengths?
Oh boy. Um. I think I've figured out quite well how to show character through smut, as well as to distinguish characters from one another by how they behave and talk.
16. What are your writing weaknesses?
Hmm... Sometimes I get bogged down in details, though I've gotten much better at catching myself now. Oh, paragraphs of really long sentences, but again, I've improved a lot there. 😆
17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
Absolutely, as long as I'm confident in the language or have someone who's a native/fluent speaker to help me with it.
18. First fandom you wrote for?
Are we talking wrote for myself, or published? Because I started as a teenager in the 80s, writing your typical Mary Sue self-inserts starring my favorite celebs, like Nick Rhodes from Duran Duran, by hand on notepads...
19. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?
Nope, still can't choose, sorry!
20. What fic would you want to rewrite one day?
There's one story from my first cowriting experience I mentioned in #12 that I would dearly love to rewrite because the constant POV changes are driving me nuts when I read it now! I don't think there's anything that's currently on my AO3 that I feel the need to rewrite.
I don't know who's been tagged or not, so if you haven't been but want to participate, consider yourself tagged!
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