phoenixhavoc - Tumblr blog

[phoenixhavoc]

Hey now, you’re an all star

listen to what I orchestrated

SoundCloud

YouTube

Instagram reel (please share directly from my own account)

[phoenixhavoc]

soooo I did a thing.

[phoenixhavoc]

...fuck is that not what I was supposed to do?

Fate, but all of your aspects must come from TVTropes.

[phoenixhavoc]

Everybody Is John

The whole party plays one character

[phoenixhavoc]

Dont shame me like that! Poor Ireena had enough to deal with before a murder hobo wanted to kill her for a necklace (plus I'm pretty sure that would mean insta tpk once Strahd learns what happened)

As a DM, discourage the party from derailing the campaign by crying every time they do something unexpected. Oh, you want to kill the kind NPC that was supposed to guide you to the Big Bad’s Evil Lair later on? Sure, just lemme grab my tissues…

[phoenixhavoc]

i finally finished my baby girls’s ref sheet. Meet River, the 15 y/o Aasimar Sorcerer who hates people and hates standing buildings just a bit more

[phoenixhavoc]

Lol this is exactly like when my players had to fight an Abyssal chicken. Rip the aasimar

It’s a lovely morning in Whitestone and you are a horrible shadow demon.

(I was using weird goose mouths as reference for drawing my version of Orthax, so here we are.)

[phoenixhavoc]

Stevonnie!!

[phoenixhavoc]

Ok but its a cute dress with pockets!! Ill take 3

💎 𝗡𝗲𝘄 𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗺! Dress of Many Pockets Wondrous item, common ___

This dress has six pockets that can be magically shown or hidden. While wearing the dress, you can use a bonus action to cause any number of its pockets to appear or vanish from it. The pockets can be located anywhere on the dress, and needn’t be in the same place each time they appear. Each pocket is large enough for a small parcel, measuring no more than 4 inches in any dimension and weighing no more than 2 pounds. While a pocket is hidden, its contents are magically moved to the inside of the dress and evenly distributed throughout it so as to not affect its delicate appearance. ___

✨ Patrons get huge perks! Access this and hundreds of other item cards, art files, and compendium entries when you support The Griffon’s Saddlebag on Patreon for only $1 to $7 a month!

[phoenixhavoc]

Snakes learning time travel, colorized; 1956

Shortly before the time cops beat all snakes to death. The remaining refugees are currently in modern day Ireland where the Cheese Pope forces Cheese Catholicism upon their broken spirits.

A fun fact about this is that Saint Neil Patrick Harris of Ireland was known for making the contraceptives using snakes, driving them to extinction in Ireland. So these are the first snakes to arrive in Ireland since then. Saint Harris and his husband Gregory the Goat never produced children due to this.

Modern Snake culture consists mainly of slithering, hissing, and serving Queen and Country when geese rampage in town. Despite often dying in vain, they proudly continue to wield cheese spears during these attacks.

It should be noted that other species that descended from snakes are not subject to being beaten by time cops. Notable examples include: The Japanese Snake Girl, The Grecian Medusa, and the American Lawyer.

For further examples of snake culture please make a request with the Cheese Papacy who is currently in the middle of burning most of the heretical texts snakes have written including many texts disparaging Saint Harris. If requests are denied you may make further inquiry by approaching the Vault of Souls and Knowledge directly at the following coordinates: [REDACTED]

Anyway thanks for coming to my TED tall, grandma.

Image prompt

[phoenixhavoc]

Endgame had representation?

[phoenixhavoc]

The Foundation says Trans Rights

[phoenixhavoc]

uh. can somebody call him back and get a clarification on our omen

[phoenixhavoc]

This is beautiful

It finally happened. During last night’s Ravenloft D&D game, I put on my best Rob Cantor impersonation and unleashed Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf on my players.

I have accomplished all I ever wished to as a Dungeon Master.

I opened the encounter almost verbatim to the song:

“You’re walking in the Svalich woods. There’s no one around, And you suspect the sun is dead. Out of the corner of your eye you spot him, Shia Labeouf!”

The players were stunned silent.

“He’s following you About 30 feet back. He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint. He’s gaining on you. And you can see there’s blood on his face! My god, there’s blood everywhere!

…roll initiative.”

[phoenixhavoc]

Peter : What’s an orgasm?

Tony : Where did you hear-

Steve : It’s when you fold paper to look like birds and stuff.

Bucky : That’s oregano you-

Tony : stOP-

[phoenixhavoc]

Goth noodle artificer Ju They have 5 strength, rip to them.

[phoenixhavoc]

Already exists, it's called Dear Elizabeth

Roleplay by mail.