#this isn't much but i hope you like it

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji goes to Lotus Pier (No relation to the AU of the same name)

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[v1p0]

[shalom-iamcominghome]

I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.

This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.

This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.

But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.

I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.

I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.

I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.

I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.

[kasterarts]

Moving Forward. (Spoilers for YTTD up through 3-1b)

[deoidesign]

"what do hands mean about a character?"

Their hands mean they love eachother

(webcomic)

[monicaeidolith]

it's been 8 years and she's still down bad for her neighbor (who wouldn't)

and so there she is: Step 3 Athena! 🌙✨

Step 1 & Step 2 here

(Infos about Athena in every steps except 4 below if you're interested)

(watch out it's long.)

Step 1 -

At 10, Athena is a very curious girl, somewhat nosey and a bit clumsy (main reason why she often has bandages). She likes puzzles, creepy stuff and drawing (but nothing that serious about that hobby yet). While she isn't very shy, she's still uneasy around people she doesn't know and moving to a new town isn't helping. She has trouble accepting changes, and this whole situation is a way too big change.

Athena is very close to her mom during step 1. Unfortunately for her, she doesn't really look like her that much and she's kind of bothered by that, especially because the person she obviously looks like, her "dad", isn't there. Not having a dad isn't really a huge problem for her, but Athena fears a little bit people's opinion on that subject: "Is it weird that I don't have a dad...?".

She's feeling sad and scared about moving out, as she has to get used to a completely different world (in her eyes). "At least I have my mom", she thinks. But if moving in Golden Grove was scary at first, meeting Qiu and Tamarack was a huge help for Athena to feel included.

She thinks Qiu, aka "Autumn", is funny but also a huge show-off, haha. She LOVES to tease Qiu. But Athena's also genuinely worried about Qiu sometimes, because that kid is a huge people-pleaser.

When it comes to Tamarack, man... Athena totally puts this girl on a pedestal. She thinks Tamarack is amazing and pretty. And should Tamarack say anything positive about Athena, you can be certain the latter will go crazy internally. At 10, Athena doesn't realize she actually has a huge crush on Tamarack yet, though.

Step 2 -

At 14, Athena became a sort of troublemaker, she barely cares about rules. She's not mean but she grew to be more blunt and direct than she was as a 10-year-old, this and her current appearance make her seem unapproachable. However she kept her soft side, a side that she ironically doesn't even keep that much hidden but that you still have to deserve. If at 10 she would often have bandages because of her clumsiness, at 14, it's mostly because she's reckless. Some things that remained are her love for puzzles, creepy stuff and drawing, in fact, she started to get interested in visual arts.

In fact, the tough side of her personality grew when her first group friends with Qiu and Tamarack slowly fell apart. She couldn't do anything to prevent that from happening, so she felt like she had to toughen up. But to be honest, she's becoming tired of being the sole link between them, she's barely trying to now. Maybe Qiu and Tamarack won't become friends again. She has to accept it... but maybe Athena still has troubles accepting changes, no matter how old she is, after all.

Despite all that, Athena still treats both of them nicely. She still teases Qiu whenever she can (watch out Athena, the teasing could backfire on you). Her worries about them are still present too, but for different reasons than in step 1. Even 4 years later, Athena still retrieve Qiu's lost papers because they would NOT do it themselves. No matter what, Autumn remains her dear friend and the feeling is mutual.

Tamarack, aka "Tam", is her best friend! ... and the girl she has a crush on, Athena realized it now. Athena doesn't know if Tam feels the same way or not, though. Athena still thinks Tamarack is the most amazing and most talented person out there, she wishes Tam could see it too. She's highly worried about Tamarack potentially leaving Golden Grove at any moment but she tries to hide it from Tamarack. "Tam probably has enough of people walking on eggshells with her", she thinks. Athena dislikes Tamarack's parents for not only never being there for their daughter but also for making her situation so uncertain, only for their own interests (in her eyes).

Another feeling started to grow: jealousy. Athena will feel jealous of anyone who seems a bit too close to Tamarack. Does she think she's no match for Tamarack? Yes. Does that stop her from being jealous? No. She knows she has no right to be, Tamarack is a wonderful girl, it's impossible not to like her, but she can't help it.

Athena grew to be even more bothered by her lack of resemblance with her mother. Some times before turning 14, she started to dye her hair cranberry, just like her mom's hair color (let's say Opal didn't really like to see that her daughter started dyeing her hair at her young age, reaction Athena didn't appreciate, all she wanted was to look like her mom, what's the problem?). Ironically, while Athena wishes so hard to look like her mom, her relationship with her became somewhat strained. As if resembling a completely unknown guy wasn't enough. Living his best life nowhere to be found, uh? Resentment is the word here. Never towards her mom, even if their relationship is not that good at this point, but towards this guy who gave her his physical traits she never wanted and started to despise.

At least she became used to live in Golden Grove.

Step 3 -

At 18, Athena is not the rough troublemaker that she was at 14 anymore. Now she's more like a silly prankster, seemingly always up to something more stupid than before, although she remains reckless and blunt (but less on purpose and more out of habit). Of course, her interest in visual arts remained intact. Her liking for creepy stuff turned into a huge love for horror and its aesthetic.

Her relationship with her mom is getting better than it was 4 years ago. Athena grew out of the resentment she had for her "dad" during step 2 and learned to accept she may not look that much like her mom, but that it doesn't cancel the fact she's Opal's daughter no matter how she looks. Plus "some bits of [Opal] did end up in [her]" after all, right?

Athena's relationship with Autumn is what you could describe as "siblings by hearts", Athena does consider them as the sibling she never had.

Athena and Tamarack are still officially "besties for life", but little do they know that they both ended up falling in love with each other, plain and simple.

Her jealousy and resentment did tone down, but when she thinks back to her 14-year-old self, she feels bad, so bad. For being jealous of Tamarack's friends, for being resentful of a random donor and basically making many things about herself. "Man, I was such a prick. And for what?".

If when she was 14, Athena felt like she was no match for Tamarack because she put Tam on a pedestal, at 18, she now thinks she's simply not good enough as a person for Tamarack. She kind of "accepted" that if Tamarack only wants to be friends, then it's fine, she cannot force Tam to love her back. It's silly to think someone like her could be extra-special in Tam's heart anyway (girl if you knew.), it's nice enough to be her best friend.

Between step 2 and 3, Athena managed to put a label on herself: she's lesbian.

[merlins-strawberriesandroses]

The thing no one ever considers while writing up character analyses about Merlin is that. he must have been sooooooo sleepy.

[anbaisai]

Happy birthday to @crystallizsch and the lovely Yuusha! May you have another wonderful year full of happiness and currynoodles💜

[tropicalcontinental]

Human fear is the window to the soul or whatever ://

[vaguely-concerned]

the way garak looks at bashir as he puts all the clues together at the end of cardassians. the sheer 'look at that little twink go (affectionate, sexual overtones)' energy he manages to convey in the background there as bashir passionately does the presentation of their group project that garak did 80% of the actual work on. immaculate

[shakingparadigm]

what is the theory that ivan manipulated the event where till and mizi met the wagyein?

It's not a theory, actually! It's confirmed that Ivan orchestrated the whole event. The true reason as to why however is still unknown. The information provides more context to this scene, though:

During the earlier times of ALNST the most rational explanation for this scene was that Till ran after a flower crown (presumably Mizi's) and Ivan followed him in out of curiosity. Now we know that Ivan was conveniently just standing there because he was waiting.

Side note, I find it heartbreaking (and maybe a little funny, sorry) that Till most likely didn't notice Ivan in this scene. That's just like him, isn't it. Always too busy running after Mizi while Ivan trails behind, an ever-present shadow.

I'm not sure how Ivan manipulated the circumstances for both of them to end up there, but it is confirmed that everything was intentional. What strikes me most is how they describe this particular scene:

I can't copy down what they said word-for-word (Patreon info), but they described Ivan watching "creepily" as Till and Mizi are faced with danger. We know that Ivan was familiar with the Cerberus wagyein beforehand, enough to touch its teeth and even to rest himself inside its maw. To Ivan, the wagyein is not dangerous, but to Till and Mizi, it could be. Ivan prepared the wagyein, led them there, and watched "creepily" from afar as Till fell on his knees, seemingly injured.

The closest I can get to making sense of Ivan's "scheme" is that he wanted to see how other children would react in a dangerous situation. Ivan's always been an observer, after all, and he's learned to survive by copying the more "normal" behaviors of his peers. This situation occured when Ivan was still young and had not yet developed his more charming mask, so perhaps he staged this encounter to study a situational response, to learn and mimic the emotion of fear. And what better subjects for the experiment than two of the most expressive and reactive humans of their batch? It helps that he was already fixated on Till beforehand, too. I think Ivan became irreversibly obssessed after this incident, especially since it's framed as a turning point in Ivan's life, comparing Till to the stars.

This is just my attempt at an interpretation, though. It could very well be for another reason. He most likely chose Till and Mizi specifically for personal reasons, not just for reaction. I'm still not sure on the purpose behind the whole thing.

The team wanted to capture Ivan's "dark emotions" through the shot of his stalking, which could relate to his more sinister intentions. His gaze can be read in a few different ways, though. Curiosity, interest, fear, etc. Maybe that's why they decided to redraw the shot in ROUND 6.

I think this better sells the feeling they were trying to convey.

[shmaroace]

being openly queer is so so terrifying but seeing other queer peoples' reactions when they see me makes it worth it

[zevranunderstander]

number #1 tactic that people use to not sound as racist as they are when they talk to black people: 'uhh so you AMERICANS need to stop pretending everything is about YOU. why should i know this im not from the us :/' (= is talking about like. a phenomenally internationally well-known black artist)

[erwinsvow]

i’m lime green jello rn… need some jealous shy!reader and rafe

rafe had said he invited some other friends. you thought it would be a quiet gathering, just topper and kelce like usual, playing their games and discussing whatever it was your boyfriend talked about with his friends over beers.

you didn't do so well with big crowds, something rafe knew already, but you were getting used to hanging out with the three of them together. you got along with them well, and they didn't seem to mind your quietness like you worried they would.

in the car ride over, rafe told you some other people might be coming. you had tensed up immediately. your first thought was wondering if you could handle being around new people, your second if you could make it through the night like you had originally wanted to.

you knew it was stupid, it always felt that way. and normally rafe was so understanding about your personality, so accommodating. you felt guilty even bringing it up tonight, not wanting to burden him with your issues. sucking it up, you went inside, thinking you could make it work.

you did for most of the night. after rafe left to try and sell like he always did, you talked with kelce and topper on the couch, eating pretzels while they went through beers, introducing yourself to one or two people who came to say hi to them.

you didn't do well away from rafe in situations like this. yes, it was fucked up, that you were so reliant on your boyfriend. you knew it and didn't care anymore, craning your neck to see where he'd gone off to.

"he's over there, princess," kelce comments, gesturing to the far corner of the room. the nickname made you feel clammy and embarrassed—it only felt right coming out of rafe's mouth. you turn to look, watching rafe talk with a pretty girl, leaning in close to say something, the girl smiling and laughing.

in that moment, everything went silent except the sound of your heart thumping in your ears. she was pretty, with an aura of self-assurance that you so profoundly lacked. she didn't seem painfully shy or skittish, she didn't seem like talking to a stranger made her face burn and shoulders shake. she talked to your boyfriend like she knew him, like they were close.

jealousy rakes over you, painting your features green with envy. first, that rafe was talking to this girl so closely, that he had forgotten about you on the couch with his friends. second, that this girl seemed like the epitome of everything you wanted to be—surefooted, confident, pretty enough that she knew it without someone having to remind her all the time.

"who's that?" you ask, though it comes out shaky.

"uh, i think that girl he used to date-" topper starts, but kelce kicks him in the shin. "ow, what the fuck?"

kelce shakes his head, motioning with his eyes to your figure, eyes fixated on your boyfriend and the girl.

"oh, um, the girl he used to hang with. yes, hang out with. that's right," topper corrects with a cough.

it all seems like background noise. you get up, leaving the boys on the couch and heading towards rafe without a second thought. when he sees you, he smiles, opening his arms to bring you in. you don't lean in though, like you always do.

"hey, kid. this is my friend sofia."

"hi," you say, smiling at the pretty girl. "nice to meet you." you turn to rafe, talking so quietly he has to lean in. he brings an arm around your back, bringing you a few feet away.

"hm?"

"can you take me home, please?"

"y'just got here. what's up?" you hesitate for a moment, faltering. then you glance back at rafe's friend, looking at the two of you, her gaze on rafe.

"i didn't come here to watch you talk to some other girl all night." rafe blinks, a little taken aback. in all the months he's known you, he doesn't think you've ever said something so sharp to him.

"excuse me?" he thinks you'll apologize like you always do.

"you heard me," you reply, crossing your arms. "can you take me home or should i walk?" even with your attitude, the question is asked politely, or so he thought. "if you're so busy with her, i'll walk."

rafe laughs, and your eyes get watery. it would be one thing if he understood your feelings once you said it, but he laughed. you turn away, when rafe grabs your arm and keeps you close to him, bringing you further away from the crowd of people.

"what, kid? you jealous, hm? is that what this is?" tears spill down your face before you can stop them, an angry retort bubbling up. it dies in your throat before you can get it out. "she is a friend, s'all. you got that?" rafe brings his knuckles to your temple, tapping softly.

"you didn't tell me about her, and topper said she's your ex girlfriend-"

"he's got a big fuckin' mouth. we went out once. one time. haven't seen her since."

"you invited her-"

"i invited two people, she came with them. now, you want me to leave with you?"

you feel another tear spilling down. you don't rafe to leave the fun for you. he brings his hand to your face, wiping it away.

"we can go right now. don't care. not here for her or anyone else, here for you. got that?" you nod, leaning into his touch. an apology lingers on your touch, but you refrain, still a little angry.

you grab rafe by the collar of his shirt, pulling it in towards you and into a kiss. you stay like that for minutes, not letting go while you make out, catching the attention of others around you. when you let go, his shirt is wrinkled and his lips are red.

"okay, let's go." he follows you out, laughing to himself.

"jealous. you're cute, kid."

[uncanny-tranny]

So often, twink death is framed as a bad thing. However, the "twink death" for trans men* is frankly one of the most healing things you will bear witness to (pun intended).

[onceuponadisembo]

I had to look up the RGB code for brat green for this, shitposting is hard work!

Resources/References:

Meme quote source

Image of Harry Du Bois smiling - Disco Elysium Wiki gallery

Image of Harry Du Bois wearing an armoured vest, holding a bottle - Survivor RP Wiki gallery

Images of Harry Du Bois and Kim Kitsuragi dancing - screenshotted from a GIF from Tenor

Image of Harry Du Bois lying down with wine bottle - cut out from this picture that I found on google images linking to here

"Born to forget" text and background - Text Studio

"410,757,864,530" text - Burning Logo Generator

"World is a blur", "I am memory issues man", "forgotten precious memories" text - Make WordArt

brat green colour code (used to colour the word "forgotten") - HEX code converted to RGB so that I can use it in MS Paint