#this isn't going ANYWHERE

[oediex]

When I think about my mental state, I wonder what is worse: the acute suicidal thoughts I was having about six weeks ago, or the return to its chronic form I'm now experiencing. I don't think about it quite as much as back then, but every morning the thought that I don't want to live still enters my head as I wake up. I'm not crying hot tears all day as I was around the turn of the new year, but I do still get moments of despair when I can't keep it dry. My breath still hitches in my throat as anxiety rises in my chest, unprompted. I still dig my fingernails into my wrists but I'm not often so overwhelmed anymore that I bite my hands.

What does this mean? Am I better? Is it just a manifestation of the amount of time it's been since my latest crisis moment in December? When is the next one coming? Am I avoiding certain things because I know what it'll do to me?

How do you fight a depression that's ten years in the making?

[the-music-keeper]

Objective #8. Is DONE. THANK THE LORD.

[sam-reid]

It must have been terrible for him to see us off that night.

Assad Zaman as Armand INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE SEASON 2 (2024).

[flashphotograph]

DJObscene

[nothorses]

I think the other thing about it is that sometimes what you get out of art says a lot more about you than it does the artist. and what you see in people says more about you than it does them.

the people who looked at Gaiman's work and saw beauty and love for humanity and a life worth living may have been looking at the mask of a monster, and they may have been seeing a bit of something real in an otherwise abusive person, but what they were definitely seeing was a reflection of something already inside themselves.

your relationship with art isn't just about the art, and it isn't just about the artist. it's about you. you are a lens the art shines through, and you are a part of the conversation the art is having, and you are reflecting and being reflected through and by the art, and you are echoing and interpreting pieces of yourself alongside pieces of the art.

it's not foolish to see good things in art made by shitty people. it's not foolish to see good in people who are lying. it's not foolish to trust, believe, hope, or love. I think you might just have hope, love, and joy in your heart, and you might just be finding it in all of those places because you carried it there with you in the first place.

[antiadvil]

hold on when did the subreddit add this rule lmao

[thevoidstaredback]

Danny couldn't tell you what he expected, but it most definitely wasn't this.

Time and Space were weird in the Infinite Realms, both bending to the will of their masters and no one all at once. They didn't follow a line or a path. Time and Space did as they wanted. Fitting, considering who their masters are.

The first time Danny was ten years old, his Grandfather killed him. He remembers that, in an effort to save him, his mother submerged his body in the Lazarus Pits he and his brother had been warned about ever going near.

As it was explained to him, the Infinite Realms has a base level of sentience at the very least. She allows herself to peak into the worlds She cradles to keep an eye on them. She found Danny when his mother had lowered him into the water and She claimed him as Her own. She bent Time to Her will, making Danny a toddler again, before bending Space to drop him in the world that would most allow him to grow. She promised that She would come back for him when the time was right.

The first time Danny was fourteen, after the second time he had been ten, he died. The parents he had learned to accept as his own tried to open an unnatural gateway into the Infinite Realms. He was the one to turn it on. The electricity of the mortal world killed him, but the energy from the Infinite Realms revived him.

He remembers the whispers barely heard under his own screams. Whispers and imprints of "I'm sorry" and "I do not mean to hurt you" and "You will only grow stronger" and "Welcome back, my champion".

Danny can count on one hand the number of times he's felt safe between the first time he was six and the first time his was fourteen. He can tell you the names of exactly two places he has never felt the need to hide from.

The day Danny turned fifteen for the first time, he told his parents what happened to him. He knew, instinctually, that they would not understand, that they are researchers before they are parents. But he held onto the hope that had been trained out of him when he was first four years old. He had hoped that they would go against all odds and accept and help him.

He shut down the portal the very next day. He destroyed it and all of his parents' lives work. He would not stand by and let them hurt his people when he could not be there to interfere. He escaped back into the embrace of the Infinite Realms through Vlad's portal, giving him the Order to destroy it. The only way for the citizens of the Realms to enter the mortal worlds was to use natural portals, as unstable and unpredictable as they are. He would not risk them again.

He finds himself wandering listlessly, letting the Realms take him where She wants him to go. Sometimes She takes him to places that are completely empty, places where he can mourn what he lost without anyone finding him. Sometimes She takes him to his mentors and friends. Sometimes She takes him where he needs to be.

Danny finds the boy just as the natural portal closes behind him, the sickly green and black oozing like a festering wound.

The boy looks similar to Danny. His hair is spiked, his clothing dulled shades of a hero's costume under a black cloak, a mask covering his eyes, his body being more filled out to match his age. But Danny, on every level of understanding that he is and ever will be capable of, knows that this is his brother.

"Damian?" he whispers. The Realms push him forward. "Damian!"

Danny cradles the body of his brother, slowly sinking to the ground the Realms produce for him to land on. He carefully peels the mask from his face and lays it beside the katana on the ground.

As expected of anyone who finds their way into the Infinite Realms without proper protections, Damian has no pulse. He is not breathing. He is cold. The wound under his sternum is not bleeding.

Danny brushed his thumbs under Damian's eyes, his hands on his cheeks. "What did they do to you, ahki?"

Despite having no mortal ability to do so, Damian's eyes opened. He started ahead, blinking when his green eyes met Danny's. "Danyal?"

Tears fell from his eyes as he nodded. "Hi, Damian. You're here early."

Tears fell from Damian's eyes as well. He knew where he was. There was only one explanation. He couldn't feel himself breathing, nor could he hear his heart beat or his blood flow. There was no pain from where his mother had run him through.

"She killed me!" Damian cried into his brother's shoulder.

Danny held him tighter. "I'm so sorry," No one should ever have to go like that.

"Father couldn't save me."

"It's okay."

"Dick and Tim and Jason and Cass-!"

"Shh, ahki. You will see them again. I'll make sure of it."

The brothers held each other as they cried. The Realms wrapped Herself around the boys, comforting them as she could. Her champion and his brother, both children She had claimed and would protect.

Part 1 Storyboard

@anarinette

[mozart-the-meerkitten]

*rolls up 15 years late with Avatar the Last Airbender thoughts*

So I've been rewatching clips from the show lately to refresh my memory while I'm writing my Zuko Alone fanfic. And last night I rewatched the clip where Iroh teaches Zuko how to redirect lightning and I have had thoughts about this scene for years so I might as well finally throw them into the void of tumblr.

So, this scene is insane to me, because at the end of learning how he could-hypothetically- redirect lightning, Zuko looks at Iroh and, completely seriously says "okay I'm ready to try it with the real thing now". Like, Zuko, the boy with a massive scar on his face from where his father burned him just looks at his uncle and says, "shoot me with lightning".

And yes, he's 16 and not thinking but that's part of the point because the amount of blind, complete trust Zuko has in Iroh to look at him and say "shoot lightning at me" after the insane trauma he had at the hands of his own father- that is WILD to me. Zuko literally trusts Iroh so much that he just assumes, without even having to think about it, that no matter how volatile and unpredictable the lightning is, Iroh won't hurt him because Zuko cannot fathom his uncle hurting him.

And of course, Iroh's appalled because Zuko's standing there with a massive scar on his face from when his father misused firebending against him and likewise, Iroh cannot fathom hurting Zuko. And since IROH knows how volatile and unpredictable lightning is and how it could literally kill his son nephew he is absolutely NOT going to use it just to let Zuko practice redirecting lightning, but he's so flabbergasted that Zuko would even ask him that that he just kind of splutters angrily that he will ABSOLUTELY NOT shoot lightning at Zuko. (it's also just another layer of how messed up Ozai is because he shot lightning at Zuko without a second thought later)

But I hope Iroh thought about it later and realized the amount of pure, unthinking trust Zuko has in him because ;-; the child didn't even THINK about it. "Okay uncle shoot lightning at me now. I know I'll be safe because it's you." I love them so much 😭😭

[boatem-probler]

been chewing on this conversation between pearl and gem this week:

Gem: I know you didn't kill me!

Pearl: So what are you cranky about?

...

Gem: I'm just- you know, I wanted some drama! So, this is the drama, you're welcome.

Pearl: "This is the drama". You're telling me we could've been friends this whole time but you're just like "yoohoohoohoohoohoohoo... I hate you!"

Gem: Yeah, I mean, why not!

and i'm connecting it to gem in empires season 2, where like. in the context of the fiction everyone else had been living in that world their whole lives and that's their reality, like, it's real to them.

and meanwhile gem is just roleplaying. like, she was a being from another world who just came there because she wanted to play at being a human princess for a while. and then when she's called away she's just like. anyway i was never actually a princess or a mortal being from this dimension and we're never gonna see each other again, sorry for the existential crisis, bye!

and anyway i think she has a similar deal in the life series. like, everyone else is there because they're trapped in the Torment Nexus, gem is there because she wants to be.

[mischievous-thunder]

Wade: Don't call yourself old. You're not that old.

Logan: I'm over 200, bub...

Wade: So?? ! That's probably like 50 in normal human years.

Logan: I don't think-

Wade, hugging Logan tightly in fear of losing the man someday: Shh, Peanut, I know this, okay? You don't know yourself the way I do.

[silly-little-zio]

[guzhufuren]

New upcoming costume chinese BL The General's Son (将军家的小儿子)

"The mountains and rivers are vast, the sun and the moon are facing each other, the stars in the world are with you."

Li Jianwei, young master of General Li's, is as beautiful as jade and spring flowers. One day, he went to the Wei mountain to seek revenge. Chen Xiaoxi, a person who was pure but was killed unjustly and became a devil. What will happen when these two meet on the Wei mountain?

One of the lead actors is Dong Zifan (plays Chen Xiaoxi).

Filming started in May, wrapped in June.

source: mwsdrama

[royalarchivist]

Pac: Oh– [Stammers] Why– I have an Ender Flu? I'm shaking! Oh my god.

Tubbo: No, Pac! You've been impregnated! 😫

Pac: IMPREGNATED?!?! Wait, what? 😨

Fit: Oh god. [Laughs] That's a new one.

Tubbo: You're pregnant!

Pac: How?!

Tubbo: I can't believe preggers Pac is on the QSMP!

Pac: Oh my god, I'm so happy! [Laughs]

[ Full Transcript ↓ ]

—

Tubbo: This is not what I want! I don't want this!!!

Fit: [Chuckles]

Pac: Oh– [Stammers] Why– I have an Ender Flu? I'm shaking! Oh my god.

Tubbo: No, Pac! You've been impregnated!

Pac: IMPREGNATED?!?! Wait, what?

Fit: Oh god. [Laughs]

Tubbo: You're pregnant!

Pac: How?!

Fit: That's a new one.

Tubbo: Uh oh, I'm about to– I'm about to not be alive much longer.

Pac: How– ahhh!!!! Wait, this is good? [Tubbo gets killed by a mob] Oh my god, Tubbo!

Tubbo: Guys? Preggers Pac, and Fit, help!

Pac: [Reading chat] "Congratulations"? Thanks guys, I didn't know, man! As always.

Fit: [Revives Tubbo] Alright, run! Ok, you're good.

Tubbo: We got his ass!

Pac: Wait, wait– What does it mean like, I'm pregnant? I'm gonna have babies?

Tubbo: It means you're gonna give birth to a beautiful– a beautiful plethora of children!

Pac: Oh my god, not– [unintelligible]

Tubbo: [Still ranting] Merciful, wonderful babies! Babies! Innocent babies will-

Fit: [Laughs] Yeah, what he said.

Tubbo: –will splurt out of you!

Pac: Oh my god. I think I saw like, Foolish having birth the other day, so I–

Fit: [Fighting a mob] Not this thing again!

Pac: Oh my god.

Tubbo: I can't believe preggers Pac is on the QSMP!

Pac: Oh my god, I'm so happy! [Laughs]

Fit: [Laughs]

Tubbo: It's gonna be such a magical time for you!

Pac: Yeah, oh my god, I have been like, dreaming for–

Tubbo: Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. What do you– have you got any names? What are you gonna name it?

Pac: I'm probably gonna name it "Elton" and "John" if I have like, two.

Tubbo: Ohhh! What a beautiful name!

[not-communist-usa]

stop acting as if an authoritarian regime hasn't been toppled before.

[pkmn-redirect]

Chapter 3 - Page 7

First | Previous | Next | Latest Index And just a quick notice that we'll be taking a break for the next scheduled update! Had some unexpected overtime at work and I don't want to overdo it and burn myself out. Updates should resume as normal on February 11th!

[rampantram]

Just some quick drawings I did of Lamb being...well, Lamb. 😂