#this isn't going ANYWHERE
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When I think about my mental state, I wonder what is worse: the acute suicidal thoughts I was having about six weeks ago, or the return to its chronic form I'm now experiencing. I don't think about it quite as much as back then, but every morning the thought that I don't want to live still enters my head as I wake up. I'm not crying hot tears all day as I was around the turn of the new year, but I do still get moments of despair when I can't keep it dry. My breath still hitches in my throat as anxiety rises in my chest, unprompted. I still dig my fingernails into my wrists but I'm not often so overwhelmed anymore that I bite my hands.
What does this mean? Am I better? Is it just a manifestation of the amount of time it's been since my latest crisis moment in December? When is the next one coming? Am I avoiding certain things because I know what it'll do to me?
How do you fight a depression that's ten years in the making?
#depression#suicide cw#suicidal ideation#suicidal thought#self-harm cw#mental health#mental illness#writing#my writing#a story every day#18 february#2024#this isn't going anywhere#just on my mind today as I prepare for another therapy session on tuesday
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when i was 11 or 12, my grandma’s friend gave us a bunch of puzzles. One of them was this surrealist cityscape on the edge of the ocean, full of ghosts and eyes. My mom and I were putting it together.
Then my baby sister, who was a baby at this time, crawled through it and the pieces went everywhere. So my mom threw it out.
I have been HAUNTED by that FUCKING PUZZLE ever since, and my mom didn’t even warn me so I could like. save the box. I’ll never see it again, but I keep typing different booleans into google hoping it’ll show me a puzzle that I could have been gifted secondhand by a German immigrant who bought it sometime before the year 1995
#this isn't going anywhere#i mis that puzzle so much#it might even have been from germany#or portugal her daughter lived in portugal#i don't think the title was in english
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Objective #8. Is DONE. THANK THE LORD.
#amy rambles#amy's to do list#lamc#catholic university of america#cua#musicology#music major#it's sent#it's turned in#it's longer than some of the stuff they already have#and that's good enough for me#this isn't going on my cv though#this isn't going ANYWHERE
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It must have been terrible for him to see us off that night.
Assad Zaman as Armand INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE SEASON 2 (2024).
#the fact that armand withholds what lestat said for 50 years#until the interview is done and he's SO sure louis isn't going anywhere... VILE#the gremlin is gremlin-ing#armand#interview with the vampire#amc iwtv#iwtv#iwtvedit#assad zaman#vctvedit#vctv#cinemapix#cinematv#azamansource
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Danny couldn't tell you what he expected, but it most definitely wasn't this.
Time and Space were weird in the Infinite Realms, both bending to the will of their masters and no one all at once. They didn't follow a line or a path. Time and Space did as they wanted. Fitting, considering who their masters are.
The first time Danny was ten years old, his Grandfather killed him. He remembers that, in an effort to save him, his mother submerged his body in the Lazarus Pits he and his brother had been warned about ever going near.
As it was explained to him, the Infinite Realms has a base level of sentience at the very least. She allows herself to peak into the worlds She cradles to keep an eye on them. She found Danny when his mother had lowered him into the water and She claimed him as Her own. She bent Time to Her will, making Danny a toddler again, before bending Space to drop him in the world that would most allow him to grow. She promised that She would come back for him when the time was right.
The first time Danny was fourteen, after the second time he had been ten, he died. The parents he had learned to accept as his own tried to open an unnatural gateway into the Infinite Realms. He was the one to turn it on. The electricity of the mortal world killed him, but the energy from the Infinite Realms revived him.
He remembers the whispers barely heard under his own screams. Whispers and imprints of "I'm sorry" and "I do not mean to hurt you" and "You will only grow stronger" and "Welcome back, my champion".
Danny can count on one hand the number of times he's felt safe between the first time he was six and the first time his was fourteen. He can tell you the names of exactly two places he has never felt the need to hide from.
The day Danny turned fifteen for the first time, he told his parents what happened to him. He knew, instinctually, that they would not understand, that they are researchers before they are parents. But he held onto the hope that had been trained out of him when he was first four years old. He had hoped that they would go against all odds and accept and help him.
He shut down the portal the very next day. He destroyed it and all of his parents' lives work. He would not stand by and let them hurt his people when he could not be there to interfere. He escaped back into the embrace of the Infinite Realms through Vlad's portal, giving him the Order to destroy it. The only way for the citizens of the Realms to enter the mortal worlds was to use natural portals, as unstable and unpredictable as they are. He would not risk them again.
He finds himself wandering listlessly, letting the Realms take him where She wants him to go. Sometimes She takes him to places that are completely empty, places where he can mourn what he lost without anyone finding him. Sometimes She takes him to his mentors and friends. Sometimes She takes him where he needs to be.
Danny finds the boy just as the natural portal closes behind him, the sickly green and black oozing like a festering wound.
The boy looks similar to Danny. His hair is spiked, his clothing dulled shades of a hero's costume under a black cloak, a mask covering his eyes, his body being more filled out to match his age. But Danny, on every level of understanding that he is and ever will be capable of, knows that this is his brother.
"Damian?" he whispers. The Realms push him forward. "Damian!"
Danny cradles the body of his brother, slowly sinking to the ground the Realms produce for him to land on. He carefully peels the mask from his face and lays it beside the katana on the ground.
As expected of anyone who finds their way into the Infinite Realms without proper protections, Damian has no pulse. He is not breathing. He is cold. The wound under his sternum is not bleeding.
Danny brushed his thumbs under Damian's eyes, his hands on his cheeks. "What did they do to you, ahki?"
Despite having no mortal ability to do so, Damian's eyes opened. He started ahead, blinking when his green eyes met Danny's. "Danyal?"
Tears fell from his eyes as he nodded. "Hi, Damian. You're here early."
Tears fell from Damian's eyes as well. He knew where he was. There was only one explanation. He couldn't feel himself breathing, nor could he hear his heart beat or his blood flow. There was no pain from where his mother had run him through.
"She killed me!" Damian cried into his brother's shoulder.
Danny held him tighter. "I'm so sorry," No one should ever have to go like that.
"Father couldn't save me."
"It's okay."
"Dick and Tim and Jason and Cass-!"
"Shh, ahki. You will see them again. I'll make sure of it."
The brothers held each other as they cried. The Realms wrapped Herself around the boys, comforting them as she could. Her champion and his brother, both children She had claimed and would protect.
Part 1 Storyboard
@anarinette
#danny's the realm's champion#i pulled this out of my ass#i need to sleep#but i had to get this out of my head#all of my knowledge is from fanfic and other fanon#dc x dp#dcxdp#damian wayne#danny phantom#part 2/2#reunion of brothers#the infinite realms is sentient#i accidentally created a new world and it isn't going anywhere#at least i don't have plans to take it anywhere#do you like it?
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*rolls up 15 years late with Avatar the Last Airbender thoughts*
So I've been rewatching clips from the show lately to refresh my memory while I'm writing my Zuko Alone fanfic. And last night I rewatched the clip where Iroh teaches Zuko how to redirect lightning and I have had thoughts about this scene for years so I might as well finally throw them into the void of tumblr.
So, this scene is insane to me, because at the end of learning how he could-hypothetically- redirect lightning, Zuko looks at Iroh and, completely seriously says "okay I'm ready to try it with the real thing now". Like, Zuko, the boy with a massive scar on his face from where his father burned him just looks at his uncle and says, "shoot me with lightning".
And yes, he's 16 and not thinking but that's part of the point because the amount of blind, complete trust Zuko has in Iroh to look at him and say "shoot lightning at me" after the insane trauma he had at the hands of his own father- that is WILD to me. Zuko literally trusts Iroh so much that he just assumes, without even having to think about it, that no matter how volatile and unpredictable the lightning is, Iroh won't hurt him because Zuko cannot fathom his uncle hurting him.
And of course, Iroh's appalled because Zuko's standing there with a massive scar on his face from when his father misused firebending against him and likewise, Iroh cannot fathom hurting Zuko. And since IROH knows how volatile and unpredictable lightning is and how it could literally kill his son nephew he is absolutely NOT going to use it just to let Zuko practice redirecting lightning, but he's so flabbergasted that Zuko would even ask him that that he just kind of splutters angrily that he will ABSOLUTELY NOT shoot lightning at Zuko. (it's also just another layer of how messed up Ozai is because he shot lightning at Zuko without a second thought later)
But I hope Iroh thought about it later and realized the amount of pure, unthinking trust Zuko has in him because ;-; the child didn't even THINK about it. "Okay uncle shoot lightning at me now. I know I'll be safe because it's you." I love them so much 😭😭
#avatar the last airbender#zuko#uncle iroh#have literally had these thoughts rattling around in my head for YEARS#makes their reunion at the end of season 3 even more heartbreaking and sweet because zuko was so afraid#that iroh would be mad at him ;-;#the consequences of the crossroads of destiny really haunted him haha ;-;#their dynamic isn't even in my story I was looking it up just for lightning redirecting reference but the scene brought back thoughts#I love avatar it's one of my dormant hyperfixations that can become a current hyperfixation at any moment#which is. actually what's happened to me xD#this could potentially be relevant considering netflix is doing avatar tv show things now#but I doubt they'll do the subtext anywhere near this well#*writes an avatar fanfic 12 years after I first watch the show* 16-year-old me would go feral over the story I'm writing haha#anyway enjoy my ramblings
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New upcoming costume chinese BL The General's Son (将军家的小儿子)
"The mountains and rivers are vast, the sun and the moon are facing each other, the stars in the world are with you."
Li Jianwei, young master of General Li's, is as beautiful as jade and spring flowers. One day, he went to the Wei mountain to seek revenge. Chen Xiaoxi, a person who was pure but was killed unjustly and became a devil. What will happen when these two meet on the Wei mountain?
One of the lead actors is Dong Zifan (plays Chen Xiaoxi).
Filming started in May, wrapped in June.
source: mwsdrama
#the general's son#将军家的小儿子#chinese bl#upcoming bl#tgssource#mine#mjtag#userspicy#userjap#rinblr#raeblr#chinese ql#note: i do not know who that second lead actor from screenshots is#his name isn't anywhere and he never posted in the weibo tag of the show#also i think it's going to be a bit shorter than myatb cause they filmed only for a month#i love this timeline so much
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stop acting as if an authoritarian regime hasn't been toppled before.
#us politics#ooc#election#election 2024#donald trump#kamala harris#i have no right to speak on this as someone who lives in hk but really doomerism isn't going to get you anywhere#stay strong please#you can't just lay back and cry about it#nothing's going to change if you don't fight#alright i'm also logging off for the day or a week#need time to process it#-katie(they/them)
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Chapter 3 - Page 7
First | Previous | Next | Latest Index And just a quick notice that we'll be taking a break for the next scheduled update! Had some unexpected overtime at work and I don't want to overdo it and burn myself out. Updates should resume as normal on February 11th!
#pokemon fancomic#pokemon#pokemon legends arceus#pokemon trainer oc#umbreon#pokemon volo#don't worry the comic isn't going anywhere#just need a bit of a grace period because the Real Life Job That Unfortunately Pays The Bills is sucking the life out of me
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Just some quick drawings I did of Lamb being...well, Lamb. 😂
#I know I've done it at least once and other people draw their red crown peacing out pre-coital shenanigans#but my crown is a little freak and isn't going anywhere#art#my art#cult of the lamb#the ewe au#cw suggestive#lamb#ewe
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Toying around with a sort of Apex Polarity spin involving Sun and Moon and having them as Arctic Fox type of creatures (think werewolf monster body types but fox style) and Y/N is an Arctic Hare-esque humanoid mythical being with white fur and long ears tipped in black. Of course, it's set in the Arctic tundra. Thinking of calling it Of Fox Maws.
You've seen the fox men before. They'll skirt the outsides of the large valley you like to go to gather arctic willow and sedge out of the snow. Their eyes glint in the harsh Arctic light, watching you. You warily tense your legs, always ready to bolt should the two fiends decide they're hungry enough to attempt to chase you down.
You can't trust foxes.
But you always skip away, out of sight and far from the terror of what could easily be your last day. This happens for a season. Sometimes, they attempt to creep closer in plain view but you turn tail and run, ducking behind snowy hills and hiding low until you're certain they're gone.
Once, you were caught off guard in the middle of your foraging. One voice called softly out to you. You jumped back and found the fox men too close, almost within lunging distance—your little heart fluttered as if to take flight and escape—but you ran and ran and ran until you couldn't breathe. Then, you look behind you.
The fox men were nowhere to be found.
One day, you're amid a rocky field of purple saxifrage, happily picking blossoms to toss in your mouth while twisting your long ears this way and that to listen in for any predators or creeping fox men that might try to break your little neck in their vulpine jaws. You never expected the teeth to come from the ground you placed your foot on. A snap of metal. A bone crack. You're bitten by something cold and terrible, and it chains you to the ground. Terrible pain eats your leg as blood, crimson among the snow and rocks, begins to drip down your fur.
You panic. Such is your nature. You thrash and struggle while the metal trap digs deeper into your leg. The safety of daylight begins to fade as exhaustion and fear begin to take hold, and then you see them. Their glinting eyes, their sharp ears narrowed, their fur white and strangely marked with colorful swirls on their underside, their claws scraping over the ground as they come closer and closer.
You cry it in your terror—you could always run before. They talk low and soft to you, one anxiously coaxing you to stop moving, to stop hurting yourself, but you tug and struggle in your wild franticness. The teeth keep biting your leg—you flounder before a set of arms catches you, pinning you down with strange gold and red fur on his chest that warms your deathly chilled body. You scream but another set of hands holds down your caught leg—this one with deep blue and silver swirls in the fur on his chest. You dissolve in the horror of the end that will come from too many jaws—
A musical steel note plays when he breaks the chain in half with his raw strength. You keep thrashing, struggling to get away, but the fox men are too strong, and the one holding you keeps asking you to stop being frightened—they only want to help. The other digs his dark claws into the metal trap and pries it apart as the other drags you out of reach of the contraption maw, and you cry from the pain of it all.
The two begin yipping and fussing. When they press their hands to the bleeding bite mark on your leg, the anguish overwhelms you until all you see is white, then nothing.
They become frantic at your slumped form and all the blood on your silky white fur. Sun takes to your wound and Moon takes you in his arms, and keeping pressure on the strange bite, they carry you back to their den. There, you'll be safe and warm, and there, they can help you with your broken leg.
Hopefully, you won't keep screaming when you wake up. (You will.)
#Of Fox Maws#fox!sun#fox!moon#hare!reader#apex polarity#<<< branching off from that#i love the furry mythical creatures and the boys being very dangerous but also a little misunderstood because ~foxes~#and you aren't exactly peachy with everything#but hey that broken leg isn't letting you go anywhere anytime soon (though you'll try)#(and they will not be happy to find your sorry carcass out in the snow as you try to limp away)#they boys are mischievous and predatory but in a fun cute way not real way#naff writing
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Study Buddies
isaac lahey x reader
summary: isaac asks you for help in chemistry. you agree on one condition.
tags: high school, studying / tutoring, mutual crushes, awkward flirting, caught in a lie, shyness, embarrassment, play fighting / tickling, bad puns, confessions, first kiss, teasing, fluff, pre-wolf isaac; his dad still sucks; autistic-coded reader
word count: 4.5k
a/n: this is my first time writing for teen wolf. I feel like I'm encroaching on claimed territory. 😅 also i've had this tab up for almost a week but have been afraid to post it, so here goes
Mr. Harris slides your progress report down onto your desk before you have a chance to react, and it catches wind and falls to the ground a moment later. You sigh and roll your eyes, but he’s already halfway across the room, impatiently handing out the rest of his stack. Your own little slip of paper is nowhere by your feet, and you resist the urge to make a remark about it.
“Hey.” A voice interrupts your intruding thoughts at the same time a tap lands on your shoulder. Gentle, as if the tapper hates to disturb you, yet needs your attention.
You turn, and temporarily forget about your lost report as your eyes meet Isaac’s, the boy who sits behind you, and has the cutest smile imaginable. You drop your gaze instantly, only for it to fall on his dimpled smile, and then, finally, on the paper held between two fingers.
“I think this is yours,” he says, holding it out to you.
Your name is clearly printed on the front, followed by your most recent grades in the class. You blush, immediately remembering it had dropped in the first place.
“Oh. Thank you.”
“No problem. He seems like he’s in a mood today.”
You nod, then take your paper from his hand. By this time, Harris has made his way back to the front, and is clearing his throat in a demand for the class’ silence. Quiet mutterings amongst friends cease at once, and you turn back to face the ill-tempered chemistry teacher.
“Take a good look at your progress reports. The midterm is coming up, and some of you have more studying to do than others. Today, we will be learning new material, but next class period, we will have a review day. If you have any questions, do not hesitate to ask. You can ask at the appropriate time in class, or come see me after school, or shoot me an email. Regardless of your grade, everyone should be studying, however, some of you have to move up a whole letter or two. That is on you to be aware of, and for you to put in the effort to do. Now, pull out your notes so that we can cover this section. It isn’t the hardest thing we’ll cover, but I expect it will be a struggle for some.”
And after that condescending introduction, he begins to teach.
When the bell finally rings, your head is swarming with so much chemistry, your eyes are beginning to glaze over and put you to sleep. You’re relatively good at the subject, but that topic was more challenging than he warned it would be, making even you confused at times. You shake your head when you reach your lockers, trying to relieve yourself of the numbers swirling about in your mind. It takes a moment. A very stressful moment.
A tap on your shoulder, more urgent than the last, pulls you out of your mental headspace. The chemistry bounces out of your mind entirely, bringing you back to reality, but making you jump in place at the sudden contact.
“Sorry,” a familiar voice apologies, “didn’t mean to scare you.”
Turning, you come face-to-face with Isaac again. His normally bright blue eyes are slightly cloudy, which worries you more than you’d like to admit. “No worries. Everything okay?”
“Yeah. I have a question, actually, to ask you.”
“What’s that?”
“Okay, I wasn’t looking at your report, I didn’t mean to see your grades. I accidentally saw them when I picked up your paper, but I promise I wasn’t looking on purpose.” He stalls, continuously apologizing for something not at any fault of his own.
“It’s okay,” you interrupt as politely as you can.
He pauses, “um. I was wondering if you could help me? Like, in chemistry. Help me study, kinda like a tutor, I guess?”
You pale immediately. Just because you’re doing okay in the class doesn’t mean you have a clue how to help him understand. “Um-”
“Just… I just need a little help, if you can. I understand if you don’t want to, or can’t, or… I don’t know… are busy.” He runs his tongue along his lips nervously. You snap your eyes to the floor, avoiding eye contact.
“I don’t know… I’m not a good teacher.”
“But you’re really good in the class. Probably a better teacher than Harris has been lately.”
You chuckle, but you’re still not sure. Being that close to the boy you’ve liked for ages? On top of not being able to teach well? He’ll reduce you to a stupid, stuttering mess, just look at yourself now, unable to look him in the eye. No, don’t look at him, that was rhetorical.
“I just,” he continues, “when he was talking about people who needed to go up a whole letter, he was talking about me. I know you’re good, you sit in front of me. If you can even just explain it to me as you study, it would help a lot.”
Half of your mind races to find an excuse, looking for an out, while the other begs you to agree. Isaac shoves a hand in his pocket and waits for a response. You debate with yourself for a moment, but then the urging part of your mind wins the argument with a question of its own.
“What about this,” you start, “I’ll help you in chemistry, if you help me in French?”
“What?” He asks, taken off guard. “I’m not good at French.”
“You’re better than me. You have the answers to most of Ms. Morrell’s questions, and I can hear you when she asks us to recite words out loud.” His eyes narrow at that, to which you reply, “you sit behind me in French, too.”
“Right.” He smiles, but doesn’t meet your gaze. Instead, he rests his head against the locker beside yours.
“So?”
“How do you know I’m not just guessing?”
“What’s your grade?”
“A,” he sheepishly answers.
“See? You can tutor me.”
“What’s your grade?”
You purse your lips and avoid his eyes again. “Too embarrassed to say.”
“Really?”
“Languages aren’t my strong suit. We all have our strengths.”
“Alright, deal. Help me in chem, and I’ll help you with French.”
“Sounds good. Library, or at one of our houses?”
“I can probably go to the library sometimes. Maybe during lunch or free period. But after school, I have lacrosse, and you probably don’t want to wait around school for that to be over.”
“Okay, so then your house or mine?”
“Where do you live?”
“Like ten minutes from here. You?”
“A bit closer than that. Parents?”
“Don’t really care what I do.”
“My dad is a little controlling,” he admits.
“Would he care if I were to come over?”
“Not if you’re helping me study.”
“Okay. You want to meet a couple times a week at your house, and sometimes during lunch?”
“Sure. Practice ends around five. Is seven too late?”
“Not for me.”
“Cool. So, um, I’ll text you, and we can plan dates.” He shakes his head. “I mean, like, what days work best.”
You blush at his embarrassment. “Have to give you my number first, doofus.”
“Oh.”
You scribble it onto a sticky note and hand it to him. “Let me know.”
“I will. And thank you.”
“Thank you, too.” You hurry your way to your next class, leaving him red in the face and hands at having a girl’s number. Granted, it’s just for studying, but it’s the fact he was able to talk to you at all that has him shaken. Isaac forces himself to breathe, before entering it in his phone and tucking the sticky safely in his backpack. As the bell rings, he hurries to his next class.
~~~~
The next evening is the first time you meet up to study. You drive to the address he’s given and knock on the door as gently as possible. Isaac had mentioned his dad is controlling, so the first thing you want to do is to avoid pissing him off in any way you could. Controlling could mean a lot of things, and the boy wasn’t specific at all. For both of your sakes, you tread lightly.
Isaac opens the door a moment later, dressed in a simple t-shirt and sweats. You try really hard not to blush as he invites you inside, but then his dad’s strict voice snaps you back into reality. You can see Isaac take a visible deep breath before rounding the corner in the kitchen, you in tow. You put on your best look of professionalism while trying to anticipate how the next couple of minutes might go.
“And? Who was it?”
“Y/N, the girl I told you I was studying with… with whom I am going to study,” he corrects at the last minute.
His father’s posture tenses a bit less when his son corrects his own grammar without prompt, but it doesn’t stop his cold eyes from floating over to you. “And you’re studying what?”
“Chemistry, sir. I’m helping Isaac, and he’s helping me with French.”
“And you know French well enough to help her?”
“I believe I do,” he says, trying to sound confident.
“I think he does, too. In class, he always has the answers, and Mrs. Morrell’s often impressed, and she’s hard to impress more than once.”
“Hm.” His dad takes a sip from a glass, then carefully sets it down on the table. His eyes are locked on Isaac the whole time. The boy stares at the ground, any confidence shaken by the interaction. You study the scene, confused. “Well… Go study. Bring up those grades.”
“Yes, sir,” you reply at the same time.
Isaac nods for you to follow him to his room, which you oblige. His dad remains seated as you make your way up the stairs. You bite back a comment about the man, even in the safety of Isaac’s bedroom, and he doesn’t say anything, either. The same remark is in both your heads, yet while you want to ask it in a question, he wants to use it as a reassurance. Yes, he’s a bit more controlling than Isaac originally said. No, he won’t do anything stupid while you're there. He tries to convey this in an expression, which you half-understand, but eventually drop it. If anything happens, you’ll leave. Simple as that.
As it turns out, the first night of you studying together ends up nothing like the initial interaction you had in his house. Isaac is gentle, patient, and willing to learn and teach the best that he can. He’s admittedly worse in chemistry than you are in French, but you’re able to convince him that you only need to work on a few things; an hour of time doesn’t have to be devoted to your studies, maybe only twenty minutes. On the contrary, the other sixty are put towards chemistry. And, of course, the first five are for settling in, and the last five are for uncontrollable laughter at a mispronunciation.
Thirty minutes to nine, you realize how late it’s gotten and start to pack your things. Isaac looks exhausted, and frankly, as much as you’re enjoying his company, you’re getting tired from talking.
“Voulez-vous qu’on se rencontre vendredi?” He asks, rather quickly.
You stare for a moment, then, “what?”
“Vendredi.”
“Thursday?”
“Non.”
“Friday?”
“Oui, rencontrer?”
“Meet then?”
“Yeah, would you like to?”
“Sure.” You nod. “Say it again?”
“Voulez-vous qu’on se rencontre vendredi?” He says it slower this time. It has the same effect on you, but you can comprehend each word better.
“Cool,” you say, not at all thinking about his accent that paints the words so beautifully. “I’ll bring my H2O, since I forgot it this time.”
The boy snorts with more laughter. “Bad joke.”
“Absolutely horrible,” you agree. “See you in school tomorrow.”
“Drive safe.”
“Be safe,” you reply before you can stop yourself, referring to his dad downstairs.
Isaac only nods. He walks you to his front door, then hurries back up to his room.
~~~~
Each day you study together follows a similar routine to the first: five minutes to settle in, sixty of chemistry, twenty of French, then five of joking around with each other. Sometimes Isaac pushes for thirty of French instead, worried that you’re sacrificing your own studies for his, and never understands when you push back that you’re good with only twenty.
His chemistry improves immensely with your help. In three weeks, he manages to pull it up to a ‘C’. Not only is his father a bit more lenient to him after the next progress report, but he’s also more pleasant to you the next time you come around to study. He even cracks a smile.
Today, you go over just the same as you have been. Seven on the dot, you’re greeted by his dimpled smile and half-friendly father. The man has now graduated to welcoming you, and has once clapped you on the shoulder as you’ve passed. You’re polite to him, though you can tell Isaac’s uncomfortable with his unusual behavior, so you always try to retreat upstairs as soon as possible. This time, he’s busy with something in the kitchen and doesn’t talk for long. He makes one comment about grades; you promise him you’re both doing well, then he lets you go.
Finally away, it doesn’t take long for you to settle down anymore. You make yourself comfortable on Isaac’s bed, pulling out your notes and pens, and smiling when he joins you. You’ve come to be good friends in the last couple weeks, and although there’s something definitely in the air, too, you’re good with being friends if that’s all you can convince yourselves you are.
You start, per usual, with chemistry, reading over notes and figuring out problems. He moves closer and closer to you each day you teach, simultaneously making you nervous and excited. Either way, your water bottle remains beside you to calm your ever-growing heart rate. When it comes time to switch subjects, you excuse yourself a minute to recover and prepare for the next half hour. In the beginning, it was easier to hide your blush, promising you’re still getting the hang of the co-teaching thing. Now, your excuse dwindles. The shy smile you wear as he recites words of the love language has never faded. You have to compose yourself entirely, elsewhere, to be able to control your reaction and face him.
“Can I use your bathroom real quick?”
“Yeah, just over there.”
“Thanks.”
As soon as the door shuts, Isaac jumps off the bed to check his hair in the mirror. In the process, your French binder falls to the ground and loses its page. The boy sighs, mutters an ‘oh shit,’ then pulls it back up to find the page again. He opens the flap and immediately finds a stash of old progress reports. You seem to keep all of your old ones in the front flap of your binder; he’s noticed you have all your chemistry reports, too. Curious, Isaac steals a peek. Despite confessing about his ‘D’ in chemistry, you’ve always cheekily refused to share your French grade. He doubts it’s that bad, but he’s never gotten you to admit it.
He glances at the bathroom door, then checks the date on the report before scanning the grades. Guilt eats at him the longer he looks, but nosiness, then confusion keeps his eyes glued. Is he really reading that right? There’s no way you have a-
“Sorry about that,” you say, closing the door.
Startled, he drops your binder and looks up at you. “It’s no worry.”
“What’s wrong?” You notice his change in behavior, like a young boy being caught doing something he shouldn’t be doing.
“Nothing. Your binder fell off the bed, I was picking it up.”
“Oh. Thanks.” He smiles when you join him back on the bed. You’re not sure if you still have a right to be suspicious, or if he’s just embarrassed because he’s so shy. “So, um-”
Isaac, on the other hand, is brimming with questions. As anxious as he is that you caught him peeking, he can’t help but wonder about what he saw. You start to speak, maybe to change the subject, but he cuts you off, guilt and curiosity both winning. “You have an ‘A’ in French?”
“What?”
“You’ve had an ‘A’ since the start of the year. Why do you need me to tutor you if you already know it?”
You shut your open mouth immediately, face paling at the realization you’ve been caught. “I-... I don’t know. Your grades are better than mine.”
“By one point.”
“Two points. You have a 94. I have a 92.”
“Doesn’t explain the need for a tutor,” he argues.
You study him, choosing to base your reaction off his own. He’s smiling; seemingly happy, curious, and not at all upset. His tone implies no accusation, just confusion, and his body posture is straight, shoulders relaxed. A twinkle shines in his baby blue eyes; his level of eye contact is neither constant nor avoidant. He’s safe.
“I, um,” you decide to tell him the truth. Or, rather, stutter out the truth. “I don’t need a French tutor.”
“So I’ve gathered.” Decisive tone, yet still friendly. Still safe.
“I figured, since I would help you with chemistry, even though I’m not that good of a teacher, if you had to teach me something too, it would put less pressure on me to be a good teacher.”
His eyes narrow. “Okay… but why French?” He’s still a little confused on that reasoning, but doesn’t question it. He knows you’re shy. If that’s what you had to do to make it work that you could help him, he doesn’t mind.
“I, er, well, the French provided a win-win scenario.”
“Which is?”
You shrug, body warming quickly as you near your deeply guarded secret. “I- I don’t know how to explain it.”
“Mhm, really?”
“You’re best in French,” you offer instead, on a whim.
“True,” he agrees, “though I feel that’s not the real reason, judging by your lack of eye contact.”
“I’m always bad at eye contact.”
“You’ve been getting better with me these last few weeks.”
“Yes, but…”
“I’m not going to judge, Y/N. Whatever you say, it’s safe with me. You trust me, right?”
“Of course.”
“Then how is me teaching you French a, as you call it, win-win scenario?”
Finally, you fess, “because I get to hear you speak it every time you teach me.”
Isaac’s quiet for a moment. Then, you realize it seems to have gone over his head as he says, “you hear me speak all the time in class.”
“Yeah, but… with twenty other voices mixed in, too. I like hearing just your voice. The way you know just how to sound it out perfectly, and the way your accent flourishes each sentence. Most people in class sound like they’re gurgling saltwater, but you make it sound hot, like the way French is supposed to sound.” Your mouth utters words before your brain can catch up and prevent you from embarrassment. As soon as you realize what you’ve said, a dizziness swarms your head and it feels like the temperature’s gone up ten degrees.
Isaac is speechless in front of you. He’s first stuck on the fact that you like his voice, then on his pronunciation being described as perfect, but then he short-circuits as the word ‘hot’ falls from your lips. He doesn’t even realize when you plant your face into your binder, shocked by your own confession.
“I’m sorry,” you apologize. It’s muffled, but he hears it enough to pull him from his trance.
“You like my voice?” He asks, cursing himself for the stupidity of the question. It’s all he can think of to say, though, still trying to cool his own rising body temperature.
“I shouldn’t have said all that, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I wasn’t thinking.”
“I’m not uncomfortable,” he blurts out quickly. “I’m actually quite charmed by that.”
You resist the urge to look up at him, desperate to see if he’s smiling or not. Isaac seems to have a similar thought, and tries to hook a finger under your chin to lift your head. He succeeds, but then you instantly embarrass again, and dive for the pillows, burying your face amongst them.
“Oh no, get back here,” he jokes. You feel him before you look out to see him. His hands shake your shoulder, but when you don’t respond, he playfully starts to tickle your neck. You scrunch and try to scramble away, but he only continues. “C’mon.”
“I can’t!�� The words have finally sunken into his head; the weight of them falls on your chest.
“Oh, yes you can!” He teases more, moving pillows away from you, just for you to grab another and bury back under it. When Isaac realizes there’s no use in trying to win the pillow war, he swings a leg over yours and begins to tickle your stomach. Your shirt has begun to ride up from your movement, and temporarily, he forgets you’re classmates, not longtime best friends. “C’mon, give it up!”
“I-I can’t!” You’re running out of breath, and pillows. He pulls another away from you, then puts his hands back on your sides. Your eyes are squeezed shut, but only do you open them because of the unfamiliar feeling of him touching you. A beat skips in your heart at the sudden, unexpected realization that he’s not only touching your skin, but he’s also straddling your waist. You swallow hard. He pinches your side lightly, shocking you back into reality, and making you grab another pillow to hide your face again. Before you can grasp it, Isaac grabs your hands and pins them above your head. You pant, heart racing a mile a minute. His too, as you can hear in the moment you both grow quiet.
“You think it’s hot when I speak French?”
“No, I think you’re hot when you speak French. There’s a difference.”
“Is there now?”
“The temperature of the room doesn’t get hot, it’s you that gets hot.”
“Oh, I see.”
“Not that you’re not always hot… I mean, sometimes, you’re more like a cute little puppy than a hot, French-speaking…” your words fade as your brain catches up, faster this time, yet still not fast enough.
“Am I now?”
What’s done is done, you figure. Can’t take it back now, can only admit it. “Yeah.”
“Huh. So all this time, you’ve been teaching me chemistry, and I’ve been talking pointlessly while you listen and learn nothing?”
“When you word it like that, it sounds bad.” A pout graces your lips as guilt floods you. “But I have learned some things. I was struggling with direct objects, and now I’m not.”
“Ah. So I’m not totally useless?”
“Never. You wouldn’t be useless even if I knew perfect French.” Before he can reply, you continue. “I’m sorry I wasted your time. I shouldn’t have. Can you forgive me?”
“Forgive you for what? You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“I wasted your time when we could’ve been doing more chemistry.”
“Darling, too much chemistry and my brain woulda exploded. The French lessons are a nice intermission. Besides, I wouldn’t consider any time with you as time wasted.”
“Really?”
He drops your hands and they fall back down to your waist. He seems, then, to realize he’s still on top of you, and begins to climb off. “Sorry, I-”
“Don’t.”
“What?”
“Can I confess something else?”
He pauses. “Sure, anything.”
“I would’ve been okay with just tutoring you chemistry, but I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to look you in the eye long enough to do it well.”
“You’ve been doing great with the eye contact thing. I know it’s not your strong suit, but you’ve made a lot of progress these last couple weeks.”
“Thank you,” you smile. “It’s not only that.” A heartbeat passes. “I like you.”
“You like me?” His eyes narrow before he assumes only, “you like my voice.”
“No, I like you. I mean, yes, I like your voice, but I like it because I like you.”
“Like me, as in…”
“Like I have a crush on you.”
He tilts his head like a confused dog. “On me?”
“Yes.”
“Really?”
“Why do you seem so surprised?”
“I’ve never had anyone have a crush on me before,” he admits.
Now you’re confused. “What?! How?!”
“I don’t know!”
“That’s stupid. Never had anyone admit it, maybe.”
“I’d never know.”
“Well I’ve had a crush on you since the seventh grade.”
“You moved to Beacon Hills in the seventh grade.”
“Exactly.”
“And you’ve had a crush on me this whole time?”
“Very secretly.”
“Huh. Well I’ve liked you since the first day of school,” he confesses.
“I’ve liked you since orientation, so I win.”
He smiles, then shakes his head playfully. “So I sit behind you in classes for years and only finally get the courage to talk to you when I’m borderline failing chemistry, and you only get the courage to talk to me for more than one minute if you can convince me to talk half of the time that we’d be studying together.”
“Sounds about right.”
“And my portion of the talking is in French, because you think my accent is hot?”
“Your accent is always hot; your French is hot on its own.”
“Ah, I’m following now.” He chuckles, letting his fingertips grace your hips.
“So,” you ask, “as two people with several year long mutual crushes on each other, what do we do next?”
“Well you’re the one that’s been tutoring me chemistry, love, I’m hoping you have the answer.”
You laugh, rolling your eyes playfully. “Wrong kind of chemistry, dork.” You reach your hands up to the sides of his face anyway, and pull him down for a kiss. Isaac complies immediately, setting one hand down beside you, while the other caresses your chin. Your legs hook around his waist, keeping him close until he starts to pull away, needing air. You let go, then hide your face as his own turns a rosy pink.
“That was worth the wait,” he says, smiling, and touching a finger to his recently-kissed lips. “Êtes-vous d'accord?”
“Shut up,” you tease, pushing him slightly. “Chemistry time.”
“We just had chemistry time. It’s French time now.”
“No, we can skip a round,” you insist, unsure you can hear anymore French fall from his lips without folding and kissing them again.
“On the contrary, I think you need to sharpen your vocabulary.”
“I think I’ll need a water break first.”
“That we can do,” he agrees. “I’ll make sure to get yours with extra ice.”
“Shush!”
#i feel like i'm cheating on kai#but i promise kai isn't going anywhere!!#nor are the mikaelsons - those for which i'm trying to write more#i have simply ✨ added ✨ another man to my collection#y'all i spelt his name wrong so many times writing this#have i ever mentioned i had a crush on a boy named isaac in my junior year of hs?#he was a twin#anyway#isaac lahey x reader#isaac lahey x y/n#teen wolf fanfiction
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Hello OFMD crew! I love you and I'm happy you're here. 💕
#ofmd#our flag means death#I know it's been a rough few months with a lot of ups and downs#and just perusing the timelines I'm seeing a lot of people really feeling the Big Sads again#which is so so valid and I think everyone should really feel whatever they need to feel right now#but also know fandom isn't going anywhere#the show may be taking a breather but our heart is still beating strong 💗#sending so much love and hugs#I am grateful to all of you and my inbox/DMs are always open if you need someone to talk to
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arts and doodle dump
Here we have a claus/masked man reference sheet yippee
Some ow
Here is a sketch of lucas when he gets mistook as the commander. Although In this case, it VERY VERY clearly is not him with claus' face and arm in such a condition. It annoys me really bad, someday I will finally think up a good reason they would manage to mix the two up. But until then logic shall be thrown out the window for plots sake.
Kuanotr and a goofy
Stickynote doodles I like
I haven't posted barely anything in a good while, as my artstyle started changing, and it was in an awkward stage between this and the brightly colored animationy one, but I finally feel like its settled down enough where I can draw comfortably again, SO EXPECT MORE FREQUENT ART POSTINGS I have good stuff cooking as we speak 🤲
#i also wanna try to start sharing more sketches#no one will ever understand my very detailed and thought out mother 3 intrepretations if i only share a few finished artworks#also do not fear my animation artstyle is still in existence and isn't going anywhere#mother 3#lucas#earthbound#mother series#my art#claus#claus mother 3#masked man
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tommy drooling all over the pillow while evan fucks him with deep long thrusts leaning over his back with a hand in his hair.
evan edging tommy for hours until tommy's unable to form even a single sentence.
tommy riding evan until they almost break the bed with the force of it.
evan kissing and caressing tommy's face while fucking him making love to him like he's the most precious thing in the world.
#this isn't going anywhere but whatever#just bottom tommy#they both deserve to be dicked down okay#but i'm in a bottom tommy mood today#buck is a slutty bottom like 90% of the time but we know he loves to give and spoil his partners#in my head they're both vers#bucktommy#kinley#tommy kinard#evan buckley
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being so real the story of dan trying to talk to the toilet comforted me just cause it affirmed that he closes the fucking lid behind him. and as someone who always does that and has realised most people don't (????????) that really healed something within me
#i hope it isn't actually most people#but i encounter open toilet lids far more often than i do closed ones#and everyone i've lived with other than my mum left it open#and mostly anywhere i go it's left open#most public toilets as well#both in norway and the uk#and i just like.#what#what the fuck is wrong with u.#obviously not counting all the public toilets that don't have a lid
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