#this isn't for you

[random-doctor-on-the-internet]

Beloved mortals, maggot invaders, and all the lost good omens admirers (seriously, what the hell are you doing here), as some of you may know, I am giving art lessons as a part-time job. Due to pressure from @weirdly-specific-but-ok , I am now bound to tell you about my Tuesday evening classes. Y’all know Fifty Shades Of Gray, now, prepare yourself for

Fifty Shades Of Grans

Dramatic music, whatever rizz happens in the soundtrack of this kind of movie, I don't know, I fell asleep after 5 minutes.

So, yeah, the class. It all starts, as it will end (will it? At this rate, my life surely will), in a church.

Why a church? I am a simple man: the town tells me to work in an abandoned church, I work in an abandoned church.

So, every Tuesday, I go there to meet my ten young retirees. I should've started suspecting something is wrong when they started calling me "young master", two weeks after meeting me. I passed this one, thinking that they're old and don't realise what they're saying, no need to make a scene.

It was going well until last week, where I made them draw blindfolded people. It takes 5 mins for them to start making jokes about the various situations in which you can use these blindfolds, none of these having a place in god's (abandoned) house. And that's the moment where one of them, pretty deaf, chooses to intervene, thinking that they're complaining about the difficulty of the thing and whispering "oh, but I kinda like that". The class turns into a debate about whether or not that gran keeps various items such as handcuffs, children, metallic poles and whips in her house. I'm afraid that the answer pointed towards "yes" at the end.

Who knows. Perhaps they sorted everything out on their WhatsApp group where they exchange strategies to make me suffer.

But that doesn't stop here. Yesterday, they had to draw human bodies. My OnlyGrans somehow managed to draw naked men, despite the models being clearly fully dressed women. Do I need to mention that they had eyes instead of nipples? Artistic freedom, what can I say.

All that to tell that I'm being bullied by kinky women in their late 70's. At this point, I'm afraid of next week. Someone, save me.

[pfhwrittes]

it may not ever come up in the fics i post but just know i am shoving my weird food preferences into at least one of the tf141 men every time i write about them

[screamingcrows]

How many minors and blogs with no age indicator in their bio will I be blocking today? - A whimsical story by me

[writer-and-artist27]

It's past 10 pm on a Friday night when the author posts this, but with a third family member having ascended to the world beyond in the span of a year from cancer treatment, the author had to process things.

And with the recent Halloween Rising 2023 event in FGO NA, a certain Foreigner's antics rubbed the author the wrong way enough to provide just enough of leeway to go try-hard in writing rage.

Fuck cancer in taking another person away from me.

Content warning for spoilers for Sections 4-6 of said Halloween event, graphic violence, cruel and unusual punishment, and mentions of torture. You've been warned.

AO3 link here. OST Playlist on YouTube here, with the new songs all included.

[this-world-of-beautiful-monsters]

People who say feminists are just trying to get out of cooking and cleaning their houses either have no idea how feminism works or pretend not to. Feminism is about making sure that EVERYONE, of every gender group (male, female, and others), has an opportunity and an obligation to contribute equally to the housework. 

If you have a good reason for that not to be the structure of your particular household, that’s fine, but it should be the basic structure that people might choose or need to deviate from, because the current basic structure is enforced by degradation and abuse that hurts everyone.

 And people who say “you can’t expect people to work in our modern economy and contribute to the household” are blaming feminism for capitalism’s problems, full stop. Calling feminists “spoiled” for pointing that out doesn’t make you clever, it makes you someone who can’t tag their own posts properly and doesn’t understand either side of the argument (or what “spoiled” means, apparently).

[terfs and other non-intersectional feminists fuck off]

[arynneva]

wait do people read first person stories and think they're the ones in the story???

Saw people talking about not liking first person, which is fair, but their reasoning was like "I would not do that" and I don't understand that mindset.

First person stories are still about a character. A character making their own decisions. First person isn't about you???? At least I thought it wasn't. What am I missing? I've always seen first person as just a more in-depth look into a character's mind and stricter POV. Not as a reader stand-in.

[sisterdragonwithfeathers]

this is your random reminder to CHECK IF YOU'RE STILL HAVING FUN

are you enjoying scrolling tumblr? watching youtube? reading that book? playing that game? drawing that art? doing that activity? if not,

YOU CAN STOP AND DO SOMETHING ELSE

you don't have to stick to something that you are doing for fun if it isn't fun for you anymore. You can come back! If you've loved it before you are likely to love it again! but you can stop!

Don't get stuck in a loop of doing something that you think should be fun when it isn't! You can put it down for a bit! Maybe that's the very thing that will make it fun again later!

[antennatoheaven]

[lazylittledragon]

can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

License to Kitty.

[unhingemyheart]

Prime Video: So, Good Omens Season 2 

Neil Gaiman: Yes

Prime Video: What‘s the Story? 

Neil Gaiman: No story, just vibes.

Prime Video: Neil, we need a little more to work with. 

Neil Gaiman: Okay, do you remember Sister Theresa Garrulous and Sister Loquacious from Season 1?

Prime Video: Yes?

Neil Gaiman: They‘re in a coffee shop AU.

Prime Video: Aaaand?

Neil Gaiman: And they need to fall in love. 

Prime Video: But Neil what about Crowley and Aziraphale?

Neil Gaiman: Oh, don‘t worry. They‘re already in love. 

[captainjonnitkessler]

Sometimes I wish we would start calling out the performative radicalism on this site for the poser bullshit it is. "Remember, it's always morally correct to kill a cop!" "Don't forget to firebomb your local government office!" "Wow, it sure would be a shame if these instructions on how to make a molotov cocktail got spread around!"

Okay. But you're not killing cops or firebombing government offices. You are posting on a dying microblogging website to a carefully-curated echo chamber that has radicalized itself into thinking that taking the absolute most extreme position on any subject is praxis but that anyone discussing the most practical way to effect actual change is your sworn enemy. You do not have the street cred OR the activist cred to be talking about killing cops, babe.

[batcavescolony]

Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[canisalbus]

Trying to figure out modern Ludovica.

[paintedcrows]

Revelations - Little peek at a longer continuation to my Stan & Bill accidental internet buddies comic!

After the reveal, Stan initially doesn't want to tell Ford his (former) internet best friend was Bill Cipher, because he doesn't want him to worry. Stan later doesn't want to tell Ford because he (and Bill) would rather die.