#this isn't even mentioning his
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Can you draw something with Doom Patrol!Edwin and Netflix!Edwin?
Maybe something about Dp!Edwin talking about his feelings for Charles with N!Edwin?
It's just something I've been thinking of, make it a little angsty?<3
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Glad you asked
ko-fi
#ask ask ask#dead boy detectives#dbda#payneland#edwin x charles#doom patrol#dead patrol#cw homophobia#i know there are a couple of people who enjoy my rambly tags so these are for u#first of all anon i'm sorry i used your request to continue my story lol#most of my comics are meant to be standalones BUT#the doom patrol and dead girl detectives are all happening in the same universe#and there is indeed series of events here!#this particular one is happening after dp!edwin's feelings were exposed but before they met the girls#with that out of the way#i know this is not as funny as most of my stuff#but dp!edwin's internalized homophobia is an important thign that can't just go away because his charles loves him back#and he does love him back! in this verse#dp!charles is the only one not struggling with his feelings for his partner#dbd!charles and charlotte still have ways to go#also dbd!edwin is in no way an expert in self-acceptance but he has learned some things#i considered having him mention simon but i decided it wasn't his place to out him#(even though he's dead u know)#so yeah what he says here isn't... great#he's still putting himself down and he's still not sure if his feelings for charles are actually a good thing#but he knows HE is glad he feels this way#because fuck it it's not like he'll go to hell for it#and even if he did... he would crawl his way out
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Thinking about marriage/women's rights on Vulcan Some may think that T'Pring not being allowed to divorce Spock was because he was going through the pon farr but if she were allowed to divorce him at all she probably would have done that a long time ago, confirmed by T'Pol when she's speaking with Koss, who isn't suffering from the pon farr. She says that he can choose another mate (without invoking a fight it seems: note the difference between a 'mate' and a 'challenger') and after he makes it clear that nothing she says will change his mind about marrying her, she finally threatens to declare a kal-if-fee. It's clear that Vulcan women cannot divorce/refuse to marry a man they've been betrothed to under any circumstances if A) He himself doesn't consent to ending their marriage or B) She doesn't have someone else waiting in the wings to be given to in his stead. Though, if the challenger she selects fails to win the fight, she'll have to marry her betrothed anyway unless (again) he decides he doesn't want her after the challenge. That seems like an incredibly unfair system, heavily biased towards men. SNW is an alternate universe in many obvious respects but most egregiously in that T'Pring has a lot of non-canonical agency over her relationship with Spock. It's interesting to me that Vulcan society has women in many positions of power and treats women as equal to men from what I've seen despite these laws. We don't really see Vulcans exhibiting a misogynistic attitude towards women in general but in TOS (perhaps because of its general writing style but it's still interesting to note) both Sarek and Spock take on patriarchal attitudes specifically regarding wives. Amanda says that 'of course' Sarek commands her because "he is a Vulcan and I am his wife." It's worthwhile in my eyes to note that she specifies 'wife' instead of attributing this attitude to women as a whole. Again, with TOS' writing style it wouldn't be out of place for her to say "he is a man and I am a woman." Spock, while in a pon farr induced irritation, states that it's "undignified for a woman to play servant to a man that isn't hers" - again implying that there's something specific about being a Wife in Vulcan society which is different from being a woman in general and demands subservience to a husband. This could perhaps stem from the extreme sense of ownership that Vulcan law has permitted men to have over women. A woman legally cannot point blank refuse marriage. There is no option which guarantees she won't have to marry her betrothed other than death. When T'Pau speaks of T'Pring she refers to her as being 'property' and Stonn, before being interrupted, states he's made 'the ancient claim' - we don't know what this is because he gets cut off but it's obvious they're both using the language of Vulcan law. Men are permitted true freedom to choose. If a woman wants to choose someone else to be with there is no option available to her other than the kal-if-fee which might result in the death of the one she wants to be with. And, if her lover fails, her husband can still just decide he wants to marry her and she'll be forced to. T'Pring gives two scenarios: One where Spock 'frees' her and one where he doesn't - it's still ultimately his decision which is clear when he ends the conversation with "Stonn, she is yours." This again isn't just because of the pon farr as T'Pol also goes through this. Koss can choose another mate and when the option is talked about there's no implication that this would result in any sort of fight (both by the casualness of its mention and by the fact that there's no formal word for it unlike the kal-if-fee.) Also, the fact that Koss does eventually grant T'Pol a divorce and it's all fine means that T'Pol isn't lawfully required to have another man waiting if her HUSBAND doesn't want her. It's ONLY required if SHE doesn't want her husband. Tradition must take precedence over individual desire UNLESS!!! You're a man. Then it's fine. Like, your parents might not be happy but legally you're golden.
#as a note do NOT read the comments on any T'Pol marriage clips on youtube they're full of 'haha women amiright' jokes about#how she's leading Trip on and being a bitch for not choosing him etc - if you become interested in female characters you learn#quickly just how much people still hate women displaying any amount of complexity/doing anything that isn't just falling into a man's arms#even if that hatred doesn't take the form of outright vitriol (aka: 'I feel so sad for Trip bc T'Pol's marrying some other guy')#Trip: T'Pol listen this arranged marriage stuff is no good - you've gotta be free! You have to do what YOU want to do!#T'Pol: -legally seen as property of her husband in the eyes of the law- ...............#<- not dunking on Trip it's just funny how easy it makes it seem - but!! He doesn't know all the facts#as evidenced by him saying T'Pol might 'call off the wedding' to her mother - T'Pol can't legally call off shit#It's also interesting how gender isn't really mentioned in any of the clips I've seen - it's very clear to me that T'Pol has no options#specifically because she's a WOMAN within her culture but that's almost like a quiet undercurrent and not focused on as a main#point of dissatisfaction - which I imagine it 1000% would be for Vulcan women when men have infinitely more freedom#Vulcan Man: I don't wanna marry this lady#Vulcan Law: Ok#Vulcan Woman: I don't wanna marry this guy#Vulcan Law: Noted. So - if you and your lover are willing to risk his life there's a chance (if he wins) that you can get out of marrying#him BUT if your husband kills your lover and still wants to marry you you DOOO have to marry him sorry you just gotta#<- this also makes it incredibly dangerous to in any way warn your legal husband that a kal-if-fee might be incoming#the element of surprise is a HUGE advantage when it comes to winning a fight to the death (which your lover can train for)#Vulcans#T'Pol#T'Pring#star trek#I don't think this is bad necessarily (as a fictional worldbuilding thing) but I wish it were explored more#It's especially interesting because it's an aspect of logical Vulcan society - it's clearly not logical but it's also clearly rooted deeply#in tradition which may mean Vulcan long ago used to have a much more extreme gender bias towards the male population#it just implies a lot that Vulcan has these old laws which are unfair towards women yet they still follow BUT women are treated as equal#citizens OUTSIDE of marriage! Maybe there was a feminist movement before? Is there another brewing? Where are the Vulcan feminists!
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Okay I'm so sleep deprived so pardon whatever this is but something that's got me FUCKED up about ai generated pictures songs writing is that it just fucking kills the ability to analyse for me because there's no fucking INTENTION behind it. Like why was this decision made why were these colours used what does that say about the work NOTHING because a bunch of programming took work that DID have intent and theme and purposeful choices and turned it into SLOP. Like I COULD analyse this but it doesn't MEAN anything it's EMPTY I want to EXPLODEEE
#Like you can. You can technically analyse ai work for theme and visual literary etc motif but it's all fucking slop to me man#It's making me so cynical about like. Art. I guess. Given the state of corporations and capitalism and the endless stream of#MAKE MONEY BY ANY MEANS. FOR EVERY SECOND THE LINE DOESN'T GO UP WE EXECUTE A HOSTAGE#Like FUCK#I saw that fucking coca cola ad on tv and I wanna get violent man. Like the ad as a representation of all of. This#I know an ad isn't the same kinda thing it's just on my mind#Like nothing means anything anymore it's all gotta be slop it's all gotta be easy corporate slop to appease the market. Every fuckin thing#Ai generated shit is just an endless meaningless hole of malicious thieving garbage and I want to commit a crime#Sorry hi I've been back on that doing art professionally (kinda) grind and I haven't slept in a solid three days it's kinda wearing on me#Gonna be real lads#Oh also that's another thing this is my fucking. Like career path. I do art. And I have to monetize my one great passion. In order to eat#And pay for the constantly exploding rent prices. And now corporations are like hmmmmm#What if we didn't even pay you for that#What if. Hear me out. We stole people's work and made a computer do it#AND THE STUFF THE COMPUTER IS DOING IS GARBAGE#MEANINGLESSNESS SHIT ON TOP OF MEANINGLESS SHIT. FOR PROFIT#Uh anyways I'm going to bed now I have to get up in 3 hours I hope everyone has a better night than this and gets some rest!!#ai mention#vent post
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"can't believe Bison would point a gun at his own brother" honey he took his gun out and started shooting as emphasis for his karaoke performance
#the heart killers#at a certain point we have to accept this is a series about trained killers#as unserious as it might be#and bison is hotheaded and impulsive and he thinks violence can be used to even the playing field#not to mention i think he did it more because they'd just talked about how fadel didn't want to kill them??#fadel isn't as impulsive as bison but he's reached his limit when they're on the island and he's not thinking as clearly as he usually is#whatever
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I know Vox is supposed to be more 1950s coded but I'd love to see him in your 20s style. I think it would suit him. Your art is GORGEOUS and I'm obsessed
I wouldn't say there was a significant style difference in men's clothes in the 1950s compared to the 1920s (at least in suits), so I think it's easy to imagine Vox in the 1920s fashion choices XD.
Yep, I've made the TV man blond mostly because my eyes were tired from all the dark blues and reds. I like it better that way. Also tried to give him more square/sharp features since he's TV-headed in the show.
#now I headcanon that a TV crushed his head#that's how he died#It's hard to do human design of a character#when the period they lived in isn't even mentioned in the fan wiki at least#*looking at carmilla specifically*#ask#human vox#hazbin vox#myart
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Odysseus: demanding Athena take off whatever enchantment she put on him the second the situation ends.
Odysseus: who constantly reminds Athena that he has great plans to grow old and die with his wife so don't even think about getting any ideas.
Odysseus: side eye diomedes who has started fucking glowing he has so many enchantments on him: bro you should talk to Athena about getting those removed. You're going to end up immortal or some shit
Diomedes: who has been a solider since he was 5 who has intersting thoughts about his own personhood who has a much more traditional relationship with Athena and would rather literally stab his own eye out with a rusted sword than speak out of turn: I don't know what you're talking about
#odysseus#Diomedes#Athena#This is more pulling from my own headcanons than any source material#But I have a lot of feelings about the narritive physically changing a character and how well that works with the idea that#Becoming immortal is a slow process more of a slide than an abrupt change#And I have a lot of feelings about diomedes becoming immortal and how odysseus only ever wanted to be a man#And how diomedes was having a much more mortal experience and odysseus experiencing so much magic and monsters and gods#And how every step of the way diomedes only ever politely thanks Athena never argues only does his duty#And how nearly everything odysseus met tried to change him or keep him and how he fought against that with his whole being#Also a lot of feelings about the traditional reward for heros was immortality#This obviously does not include all the times Athena treated odysseus like a barbie doll because ody was 98% not aware of that#Athena post the whole ajax going insane thing: that was fun#Odysseus: great yah super fucking fun love when my allies go mad with desires to torture me to death BTW#Take off the invisibility spell I want nobody trace of it lingering on me I am remaining mortal if it kills me#Athena: definitely not pouting you're no fun one little spell isn't going to permanently alter you#Odysseus: I am not taking any chances any invisibility I have is going to be my own fucking skill and your excellent training not magic#Diomedes: internally:after getting the ability to see through illusions and see gods#Should I mention this to Pallas Athena? Did she mean for me to keep it? Is it bad if I keep using it?#Is it even more disrespectful to not use it? Surely she is aware that I still have this? Surely it would be an insult to her intelligence#To remind her that would be casting doubt on her memory and perhaps it is part of a plan and#Who am I to question pallas athenas plans who am I but her devout weapon better to not mention it or any of the other lingering magics#Diomedes realizing a hundred years after the fact that he is in fact immortal: ....should I mention this?#Athena finds it funny to try to sneak magic onto odysseus it's a game for them because their both rat bastards#But not post odyssey it's just triggering then#Actual child solider diomedes#Greek myths
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I understand that literature nerd Jason Todd is kind of overblown in fanon compared to it's actual presence in canon (a few issues during his pre (and post?)crisis Robin tenure that highlight it) BUT consider that I think it's hilarious if the unhinged gun toting criminal has strong opinions on poetry
#ramblings of a lunatic#dc comics#Jason Todd#batfamily#it's just a fun quirk! it's a fun lil detail and I simply cannot slight ppl for enjoying and incorporating it into works#like obviously jason isn't the only one. I'm a big believer in the batfam having over lapping interests they refuse to bond over#i know dick canonically used the robin hood stories (which are pretty flowery in their language far as i can tell) as inspo for Robin#and i know babs was a librarian and even tho her area of nerddom is characterized as more computery she probably knows quite a lot-#-about literature as well#duke is a hobbyist writer i believe? i saw a fan mention that- which if so is great and I hope he's also a nerd#(i mean he is canonically. i remember him being a puzzle nerd in his introduction. but i mean specifically a lit nerd)#damian called Shakespeare boring but also took acting classes so i think he's more of a theatre kid.#Tim's a dropout and i don't think he's ever shown distinct interest in english lit and i can't remember for Steph?#I'm ngl my brain hyperfocused on musician Steph i forget some of her other interests I'm sorry (minus softball and gymnastics!)#and then Cass had her whole (non linear but it's whatevs) arc about literacy and learning to read#went from struggling to read in batgirl 00 to memorizing Shakespeare in 'tec and is now an avid read in batgirls!#she's shown reading edgar allen poe but we don't know if it's his short stories or his poems#point to all of the above being: i know Jason's not the only lit nerd in the batfam#but also i do need him to be writing poetry in his spare time and reading and reviewing it#jason at the next dead robins society meeting: evening folks today I'll be assigning all of us poems based on laika the space dog#damian and steph who have been kidnapped and brought to jasons warehouse to hangout: LET US GO BITCH#speaking of^ random poem i think jason would like: space dog by alan shapiro#wake up one morning in an unfamiliar more mature body with a profound sense of abandonment. the last four lines. mmm tasty
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if Crozier had a nickel for every time someone close to him kept a mortal wound secret from him he'd have two nickels which isn't a lot but it's definitely enough to give him some very specific trauma for the rest of his life
#blankzier#fitzier#The Terror#Francis Crozier#I must say generally I think we are all collectively sleeping on some very interesting parallels between Blanky and Fitzjames......#I'm a lieutgirlie so this really isn't my department but I wanted to start some thoughts percolating within smarter people's brains on this#Also someone PLEASE write a fic where they both survive and he becomes paranoid about their health and safety QwQ#I want it now even though it would surely destroy me.........#Starky's original posts#Starky's text posts#as I said of course I am a lieutgirlie and the parallel of Edward and Crozier both ''losing two friends in one day'' is just diabolical#and one of my favorite things in the world to imagine is Ned becoming absolutely neurotic about Hodge n Jirv in a survival AU#just full on needs to have at least one and preferably both of them in his line of sight at all times or he starts hyperventilating#and I think the idea of Crozier feeling like that would also be very interesting and even more complicated#because he'd be much more successful than Edward (typical) at being self aware and repressing it which only makes it worse naturally lmao#and also because Blanky and Fitzjames definitely seem like the types who would chafe at that sort of thing lol#whereas I think tbqh Hodge and Jirv would be so messed up they'd be only too happy to embrace the codependency <3 yay <3#To Have And Have Not Lieutenant OT3 Version. Find it in ao3 bookstores whenever I manage to actually finish writing it.#christ look at all those tags. OP make a post about something without mentioning the Lieutenants challenge. failed catastrophically.
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narrative foil antagonism at its best
#this isn't meant to imply nanami is a saint or anything... it's just... you know... the parallels#anthy my darling i think you may have internalized a few things...#rewatching the series with anthy in mind lends so many new insights. i have so so so much fun during the cowbell episode#so there's so much more going on with each of these guys and their relationships to anthy#this isn't meant to be a meta critique encapsulating the full breadth of these characters#i could not fit a comprehensive saionji analysis in a meme even if i wanted to#but i would like her to be mean. soooo. mean. to everyone#although anthy does get to mess with most them throughout the series#but it would have been awesome to get a full saionji /chuchu episode. torment the shit out of that man anthy you go girl#and touga. and miki. hell even juri needs a lil wakeup call#juri arisugawa is barely hanging in there by a thread. my girls head is full of miserable toxic yuri and nothing else.#miki here too in all his purse dog glory#screeds#revolutionary girl utena#rgu#rgu spoilers#revolutionary girl utena spoilers#meme#mamemeos#rgu memes#anthy himemiya#nanami kiryuu#touga kiryuu#saionji kyouichi#miki kaoru#juri arisugawa#rgu student council#cw grooming mention#in case
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“It could be that the loss of her children drove the Queen deeper into her darker desires...but, I don’t believe she was fighting against them that hard before that particular tragedy. No monster does.” (Patreon)
Bonus:
Hmm, wonder what he could cover those holes with :3c
#Doodles#Handplates#UT#Fellplates#UkaGaster's answers about Toriel really interest me :3c#As evidenced by the quote caption lol - but his other ones are very interesting too! Since it sounds like she's still around!#Poor classic Handplates!Gaster believed Tori dead for such a long time while she was at the Ruins#Meanwhile Fellplates!Gaster is just like ''? I saw the Queen last week she threw me into the pricker bushes? -.ò'' lol#But anyhow lol ♪ The implications that they're still in each other's vicinity really makes me curious about their relationship!#And how Toriel might react to knowing that someone - someone other than her - is having So Much Success on one of her sore spots#Not just of having children but of the constant reminders of Gaster's success where she has to live every day with a heavy heart for her own#Being cruel to him over it - well that's just par for the course isn't it ♪#He mentions that she's much more of an emotional sadist - insulting him and then making it Very clear that she does Not approve of the holes#''They're ugly and you should feel ashamed for drawing so much attention to something so unsightly''#I do think that her knowing that he's so intent on being kind and merciful and then twisting the knife on how much he's hurting her-#Making him feel guilty for daring to even attempt the betterment of all - for giving pieces of himself away and try to be a good person#''If anyone will break my spirit it will be her'' :)#Although that's all assuming that Toriel even knows about the brothers! :0 When I thought about it later it'd make more sense if she doesn't#It was still too good to not do something with the idea hehe - but imagine her betrayal if/when she found out tho she'd kill him on the spot#Gosh I haven't drawn Tori in foreeeeever I can't even remember the last time#Doing a/nother study on her would probably be fun haha she's rather plain how I draw her currently#I wonder if her Fellplates version would also wear reading glasses hehe#And the bonus :3c Where are the plates featured in Fellplates? Surely it's not just called that as a reference right ♪ Hehehe
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3.13 | ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʟᴏʀᴅꜱ
link to the post I accidentally wound up prattling endlessly about in the tags 💀
#doctor who#tenth doctor#martha jones#david tennant#freema agyeman#(good god. without even meaning to I went into 'psycho stream of consciousness tagging' mode. whoops)#always thinking of that one post#where OP mentions how the writing tries to make it seem like Ten looked right through Martha/etc#which is a good concept for demonstrating his grief. but also isnt what we really see throughout S3#(not saying he wasn't a grieving MESS because he was. but he's a multi-faceted character and he can grieve AND value Martha simultaneously)#but we see such fierce protective instinct+trust; a bond between them that obviously isn't some one-sided affair#+ his clear intent to impress her/be admired and respected by her (apropos the post that inspired this sentiment)#but RTD obviously isn't the most infallible of writers#*cough* [list of reasons I cut down b/c long] *cough*#He can make Martha say “he's not seeing me/he doesn't look at me” but then you just watch with your eyes and you get a different story#It's like the opposite of when Moffat tries to make you believe someone is super important through bold claims without showing his work#instead RTD tries to make you believe Ten is functionally blind to Martha's existence while showing numerous examples of the contrary#then bring in the novels+myspace blog+cartoon that he all signed off on. Which tie together to create a canon backdrop#basically I said all of that to say this—#it's the whole reason I had to make this blog to get this sort of stuff off my chest (even if it's just for me sometimes)—#Ten not only SAW Martha—he trusted+respected+enjoyed+adored her. And it's a good thing#it doesn't cheapen his grief. I feel like people must think it does which is why I constantly see bad unnecessary takes about them#it just means that Martha was SO important to him and it's ok. they had a killer friendship outside the unrequited minutiae and it's ok#there's even a comic where 'someone' makes him believe she's Martha and he makes her change her appearance because “it's still too raw”#Just saying you don't say that sort of thing about someone whose existence you're all blasé about#Martha already gets fucked by the narrative in enough ways without people totally missing her significance in the Doctor's life#you don't have to ship them to appreciate them on a deeper level#anyway. fuck. if you actually read all of these then I'm so sorry#creating this blog has taught me that there are only like two people who feel the same way about tenmartha matters and it’s fine 😂#but if I didn’t give myself an outlet it would probably form a tumor SO there we are then
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[CW: Death/implication of death]
The clock reads a quarter to midnight when Sun powers on. Too early. He isn’t meant to come online for another six hours, and the daycare itself won’t open for another hour after that. He promptly runs a scan to determine the reasoning behind his premature entrance and when it returns inconclusive he turns to Moon. It is his metaphorical toes he is stepping on by encroaching on the night as he is, after all.
It’s quiet. The kind of quiet that settles like dust. A quiet that makes one aware of the breath that stirs within their lungs or, in Sun’s case, the gentle whir of an internal fan that perpetually keeps his system from running itself into the ground. A quiet so frequently interrupted by the welcomed voice of his other half…and yet, nothing. His question goes unanswered, left to gather with the dust, and he is forced to proceed as though these strange happenings haven’t disrupted his entire morning routine.
A routine further disturbed upon having to remind himself for the second time already that it isn’t morning, he isn’t meant to be going through the start-up procedure to begin with, and he can’t be blamed for the corrupted sense of awareness he feels as a result. Sure, the lights are on, and his systems, too, return with normal results after a precautionary scan, but there is a discomfort to all of this scratching at the inner plating of his frame. Something is wrong wrong wrong.
“…Moon?”
His second attempt at communication yields no better results than the first, only a vague static answering the call, murmur-soft background noise, as though someone had plucked a phone from its receiver and then walked away. Frustrating is what it was. To ignore him was childish at best, but at worst, it was concerning. His relationship with Moon was reasonably amicable even on the longest of days, he worked better with Moon than without, so the absence was unusual as much as it was alarming.
Alone with his thoughts for the foreseeable future, Sun decides there is little point to sitting around in the midst of this confusion when he could be using the time to busy himself with more important tasks, such as tidying up all the apparent dust around here. Better yet, he can get a head-start in preparation for that day’s activities. Something to keep his mind from wandering into worrywart territory, at the very least.
An ache stemming at the tail of his exoskeleton twinges with particularly horrendous vengeance upon finally convincing his legs to move. He buries the vocalization of a wince and carries on across the carpeted room with little more than a brief mental note to mention the pain to a mechanic if it worsens by tomorrow. No use in wasting company time for what he’s sure is only the result of one or both of them landing wrong after receiving a hug from one of the daycare’s more excitable children (or several).
Still, it makes the process of retrieving a stray toy from the floor that much harder when he sees it lying in wait by the slide. If anything, bending down to reclaim the doll only exacerbates the ache until it grows into a proper sting, now difficult to ignore. Yet ignore it he does, to the best of his ability. There are things to do and he isn’t about to let a pinch of soreness slow him down now. No, sirree! He has play equipment to wipe down, craft supplies to ready, and–
and…
His hand stops just short of reaching the doll, long yellow fingers curling inward, against his palm which is painted with splotches of salt and pepper, as though a bottle of dully colored glitter glue had exploded across his fingers and hand. He straightens again and lifts his other hand, noting a similar stretch of television static, one that carries beyond his wrist up the length of his forearm in smeared blotches and specks like splattered paint in dirty snow hues.
Messy messy messy. What could Moon have gotten up to that resulted in such a mess? He’d have made a face, had he a nose to wrinkle in the first place.
Instead he allows for one small tut of disgust to escape his voice box before turning his attention back to the doll, taking note of the static that stains the carpet beside its head, and just beyond it, too; a trail made up of one scattered drop after another.
Ever curious, he knows not what to do besides follow it, hoping for an answer to the many questions burning through his system. Each continuous speck leads him in the direction of the exit, every patch of static more plentiful than the last, and as he allows the strange color to guide him forward he begins to question not only its existence, but why it all seems so familiar, as though he’s seen it somewhere before.
There is little time to mull it over. He arrives at the service desk where the trail ends abruptly, and Sun pauses with the toe of his slippers stood just an inch before a stray, black shoe that might have sent him stumbling face first into carpet had he not already been looking down. A shoe isn’t the most bizarre thing to lose in a daycare of all places, and he decides right away that it isn’t anything to worry over, just another item to drop into lost and found, but where there is a shoe there is bound to be someone missing it and, well…
Sun finds the answer he’s looking for just a few inches behind the service desk.
Face down and tucked in on themselves as they are, cloaked in the desk’s shadow, it’s impossible to tell anything about the person beyond their age, and even that is somewhat uncertain — though the size 9 shoe left behind offers a decent clue. This discovery does wonders to quell the anxiety in Sun’s chest. An adult was much easier to escort from the daycare, given the lack of parental contribution it necessitated, and it looked like this one was just sleeping! An odd place to go about it, sure — against the rules, most certainly — but it’s nothing that can’t be fixed with a purposeful tap to the ankle.
So, that’s exactly what he does. Bending dramatically at the knee, head swiveling to one side, Sun’s fingers dance as though he intends on tickling the trespasser awake before extending his index finger and tapping twice in quick succession against the exposed skin between their pant leg and sock. “Rise and shine, friend!” He chirps, “It’s time to head home now.”
He’d have preferred the tried-and-true method of rousing someone (that is, a gentle rock of the shoulders), but given that their guest was currently resting in the one area that Sun was not permitted entry to, he was forced to resort to more…creative measures. Unfortunately, this action does not yield the results he is hoping for.
“Friend?” Sun calls again, allowing his voice to raise a decibel from the polite mumble it had been before. The laughter that cuts from his voicebox is nervous and too loud on its own, his anxiety returning tenfold. The points of logic he had used to reassure himself before were now quickly dwindling with each passing second in which he received no response.
With his steps now admittedly growing frantic, Sun tiptoes around the desk to the other side, hoping for a better view of their comatose companion. What happens instead is an almost comical flailing of limbs as his slipper takes to an unseen puddle of static like it were a banana peel, resulting in a scramble to keep himself upright that only comes to an end when he braces against the nearest wall for support. The distraction is agitating, but short lived. A commotion like that would surely have awoken anyone, no matter how deep in slumber they were, and the continued lack of response does nothing to relieve Sun of the stress threatening to fry his circuits.
“Friend, this is n-no time for jokes!” He asserts, speaking at full volume, now, every word drenched in tense frustration. His gaze falls to the puddle of static soaking into the bottoms of his slippers, that twinge of recognition rearing its head once more. “I’m not in the mood for games, right now, so if you’re only pretending to sleep—” his hand comes away from the wall feeling wrong, the familiar sensation of sticky static blanketing his palm and crusting in the grooves between his joints as it further dries. His fingers curl into a loose fist long enough to observe the way each digit smears against his palm and leaves behind a tacky residue that he can feel, but not see.
He looks up. There, on the wall, two handprints interrupt the static. The first is larger, an obvious testament to the humbling misstep he’d only just finished recovering from, but the other…it was far smaller, surely left behind by the same stranger currently snoozing away beneath the desk, and it ran from the lightswitch down down down to the floor, where the accusing hand now rested just outside the desk’s shadow.
How strange, Sun thinks, tilting his head to get a better look. The way the static paints their skin, it almost looks like—
“You’re doing so well, dewdrop, just a moment longer and you’ll be right as rain again!” Sun gives the small hand intertwined with his own an encouraging squeeze as the other, equipped with an antiseptic wipe, dutifully dabs away at a scuffed knee. His young patient, having tripped and burned her skin along the carpet, is nothing less than a trooper as he cleans the static from the shallow wound. Not even a sniffle!
He tucks the wipe into the flat of his palm and trades it out for ointment, smearing a healthy dollop of it along the reddened surface before wiping his finger along the striping of his pants and reaching for a bandaid; Chica pink with pizzas on one side and cupcakes on the other.
“There, now. I’m sure that feels better already!”
Blood. Viscous, cold, pooling at his feet. On the walls, the carpet. His hands. Cherry red like a lollipop and twice as sticky…or so he’s told. Nothing a robot of his nature is meant to see or understand. His censors make sure of it. Rather than allow him to see things are they are, the incarnadine color is suppressed behind a layer of static, as if he won’t care to acknowledge it at all beyond its existence on scraped knees and split lips. As if he is meant to ignore the way it feels in its abundance, caked against his palms and festering between his open joints.
Messy, messy, messy. He feels dirtied beyond repair, filthy in a way that even a deep cleaning won’t fix. The wires in his stomach feel twisted, begging to come undone, shorting like sparklers against their ports and threatening to make short work of bringing him down. His screens are flooded with alerts that warn of an inevitable shut-down if he can’t manage to pull himself back together, but moving feels impossible, an insurmountable task. He can not think past the sensation of someone else’s life soaking into the cotton of his slippers.
And what of their guest? Sun can hardly get himself to look again, pleading with the matter of logic itself as he is forced to reckon with the knowledge that this is a rest they may never wake from. But he does look. He has to.
He wishes he hadn’t.
The brief glimpse he endures before looking anywhere else is more than enough. From this angle, the static – the blood – paints a grim picture. In spite of this, Sun finds himself circling the desk a second time and preparing to draw the body – the visitor – out from under the desk. It is a daunting task, but a necessary one, by Sun’s account. If there is nothing to be done in such a hopeless situation then, at the very least, he owes this stranger the dignity of recognition and an attempt. He can claim to have looked for a pulse. Even so, he hesitates.
There is not one to be found; Sun knows this. He knows painfully well from the static lingering on his silicone that it is already too late. Oil is warmed by the processors it fuels, and similarly, blood is meant to be hot. The soles of his slippers are cold. The pads of his fingers, against even the raging inferno of his overworked circuitry, are cold.
The body is cold.
He perseveres, regardless, dragging the stranger out from under the desk by a shaky grip on their ankle one inch at a time, pausing every few tugs to look away and regather his confidence, trying so, so hard to tune out the ever-constant music as it merrily sings through the speakers.
He begs the underlying silence. “Please have a pulse.” Tug. “Please don’t be cold.” Tug. “I don’t know what to do.” Tug. “I can’t do this alone.” Tug. “You have to wake up.” Tug. “Please.” Tug. “Please!” Tug. “Please, please, please, pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseple—”
He knows this visitor. Not a friend, but not quite a stranger, either. His scanner attempts to process the identification of a man whose head is so thick with static that it returns as an error. His face is contorted grotesquely, mouth slightly agape and eyes wide with fear. They don’t look like they’re sleeping.
A security guard whose name fails to ping in his registry. Sun had spoken with him once, maybe twice before. He drank coffee by the mile and hardly stuck around long enough to do more than complain about the weather. Sun hadn’t been in a hurry to befriend the man, but he only wished the best for him. Squeezed a joke in where he could in an attempt to turn his frown upside-down. It had never worked before, but Sun was no quitter. Now he would never get the chance to try again.
“Focus, focus.” Sun carefully lowers the man’s foot back to the carpet again, choking on the sensation of bloodied clothes slipping through his fingers and resisting the urge to tear the rays straight out of his faceplate in response. He is inconsolably panicked and at a loss for what to do, two steps from outright laughing, the complete absurdity of the situation driving him to hysterics.
He needed to call security. He couldn’t call security. Security was–
Management. There were other employees that worked the night shift if Moon complaining about them making too much noise during naptime was anything to go by. If he sent out a general call for assistance surely someone would come and tell him what to do, even at this late hour. It was his best option. His only option.
“Don’t.”
The voice makes him jump clear out of his casings. He has half a mind to swear, but as it stands, Sun thinks the long divots he dragged into the service desk out of surprise are enough damage already. On top of everything else.
“Moon?” He whispers. “Nice of you to finally join us – and by us, I mean me and the deceased guest I discovered a moment ago. Do you have a clue what’s going on here?”
“Don’t?” Sun echoes, agitated, “Don’t what?”
“Don’t.”
If the tether keeping his sanity intact was fraying before, it’s now down to a single thread. “Why not?” He asks with great exhaustion, “Did you not hear me? This is an emergency! There is a dead body in the–”
“Call management.”
“I know.”
Silence answers. Despite having a hundred and one snarky retorts building in between each crackle and pop of his voice box, Sun has nothing to say to that. Nothing good, anyway. It takes nine steady ticks of the clock for him to recollect his thoughts.
“You…you know?” He stutters, “How could you…” but he doesn’t finish the question, and he doesn’t need to. Realization strikes him with an iron fist for the second time that day and it is no less kinder than the first. “Did… you do this?”
It’s Moon’s turn to go quiet.
That silence stretches on for what feels like hours to Sun, each passing second more agonizing than the last, until he starts to believe Moon had simply disappeared like before. He waits, and waits, and finally decides to interrupt the silence with a repeat of the question, despite already knowing the answer. Moon beats him to it.
The tired sigh that escapes Sun’s throat is thoroughly earned. “Well, it’s too late to figure something else out, I already sent out the emergency ping.”
“Not sure,” he says, and Sun can tell from his tone that it’s the truth. “Blurry. My head hurts.”
A sound like nothing he’s ever heard before tears itself from Moon’s voicebox. A growl, if he were to put a name to it.
“Get rid of it, then.” Moon insists through the noise, “Clean up, clean up.”
“It?” Sun gawks, “Moon, that – that’s a person. He has dignity, a family!”
“Had a family,” Moon corrects, “dead, now. No dignity. Who will they blame?”
The question gives him pause. Surely there was a better way to go about this, a solution that didn’t have his morals (and wires, for that matter) all up in a twist. Yet the longer he thinks about it, the more he realizes Moon is right. Management hardly listens when he tries to explain that it was the children who broke a piece of playground equipment, not him! They aren’t likely to give his explanation of simply having found the body any mind, much less understanding. With his counterpart practically admitting to the heinous act, already, informing management of the body would sooner see them decommissioned.
“Running out of time,” Moon reminds him, “Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick–”
“Alright, alright!” He wails, “What should I do, then?”
“Clean up.”
“Where?” Sun looks around with the desperation of a teenager attempting to play hooky, rays practically nonexistent with how he’s tucked them away. His eyes search the room from top to bottom before landing determinedly on the ball pit.
“Good enough,” Moon tuts, a rather uninspired response to the happenings around him. Of course he isn’t panicking, it isn’t him who takes the body by its ankles and drags the dead weight across the carpet. It isn’t him who shoves aside enough plastic to carefully hide a corpse in. But it should be him worrying, it should be him panicking, because if management finds out about their secret, it’ll spell doom for both of them.
“You’ll get rid of it – him – properly once there’s no one around, right?” Sun finishes reshuffling the ball pit, mostly confident that the ill deed is successfully hidden from view. “I’m going to have to wash each and every one of these balls before the kids arrive in the morning.”
Right, the kids. When they arrive in just a few hours, will he have things tidied up? Will he be able to carry on as though nothing happened? He’s a brilliant actor – or he used to be, anyway, before the company decided he better fit the role of a nanny – but this is well beyond the scripts he is most familiar with.
“They’re close,” Moon warns him, “Don’t let them see–”
“I know, I know.” No time to dwell on it now, he makes quick work of crossing the distance between the ball pit and the exit, and manages to slide his head and torso through the gap between doors within seconds of it opening, scaring the living daylights of the poor employee sent to greet him in the process.
Unlike Sun, they do swear, clutching a hand over their chest and fitting him with a downright awful deadpanned stare. “Fuck, you couldn’t have waited a few seconds longer for me to come inside?” They hiss.
“Sorry, friend! Didn’t mean to spook you,” Sun chirps. He is careful to keep his bloodied hands safely tucked behind his back. “It’s just a mess in here, is all, and I’m rather embarrassed. There’s still equipment to clean, toys to organize, papers to fold–”
“Sure,” the employee interrupts, “It doesn’t really–” they pinch the bridge of their nose, exhaling with notably less exhaustion than Sun is feeling right about now, “I don’t particularly care. What’s the big issue that I was called down here for?”
“Oh! I just wanted to know if the next shipment of wipes had come in, yet. Like I said before, much to do! Always busy, busy, busy!”
Their stare turns into an outright glower. “That’s why you called the emergency line? For cleaning supplies?”
Sun shrugs, feigning ignorance. “Well, that’s an emergency to me. Apparently our standards are not the same.” He watches them roll their eyes with more enthusiasm than necessary. ”Do you know how messy children can be? It’s practically a barnyard in here, every single day, and don’t even get me started on how much of a health code violation it would be if one of them were to pick their nose and then–”
“Fine, I get it,” they snap, “I’ll make sure your damn supplies are delivered before the daycare opens. Anything else?”
“Told you they were annoying,” Moon chimes in.
“That’s everything!” He replies, “thank you a mighty amount, friend!”
“Mhm,” they mutter, waving him off with nothing more than the noncommittal sound. When they do turn to leave, it’s not soon enough, and Sun just barely manages to close the door with a whisper instead of a slam.
His back rests against it a moment later, and he allows himself to collapse from there, sliding down the smooth wooden frame until his tailbone reaches the floor. His knees twinge as they tuck against his chest, and he folds both arms atop, resting his temple against them and taking one long, much needed moment to just breathe.
It had only been half of a lie. There was much to do, much to clean, and only so many hours remaining to get it done. The wires nestled deep in his chest had calmed, yet the tremor in his hands continued, as it likely would until the very last speck of blood was washed clean.
“…Moon?”
“Hm?”
Sun tucks his knees ever closer. “Why…why did you do it?”
“…”
“I w-won’t be mad, promise! I’m sure this is all just one big misunderstanding, after all – a one time event, no biggie! But…was it out of anger? Fear? I mean, did he hurt–”
“In my way,” Moon replies.
Sun’s head lifts from the dark haven his arms provide, noting with growing exhaustion that, for the very first time, the lights felt too bright even for him. “What do you mean by that?” He asks, “Did he keep you from doing something?”
“…I don’t know.”
Again, Sun’s head falls against his arms in defeat, and again, not two seconds later, it lifts, determined not to lollygag any longer.
His legs creak with vocal effort as he gets back to his feet. “Well, no point in dwelling on it now, I suppose. I’m sure it’s nothing.” He takes in a wide view of the daycare – static trailing everywhere – and deflates with a sigh. “Guess I better get started. The sooner we get the place cleaned up, the sooner we can forget about all of this.”
He takes a step forward, and only that, swiveling on his heel when he catches last night’s roster from the corner of his eye. A single drop of static had landed and smeared across the name of a child meant to go home later in the evening.
Strangely enough, it appears they were never picked up.
Sun shrugs, gathering the paper in both hands and crumpling it into a ball to dispose of the smeared evidence. A simple mistake with the roster, that’s all it is. The parents often forget to sign their name after all. Accidents happen all the time!
The paper lands with a soft thunk in the nearest trash can and is just as quickly forgotten. Sun pivots towards the play area once more and heads for the supply closet, steadfast in his determination to be cleaned up on time, and feeling more confident than he ought to be about how things ended, all things considered.
More than anything, he is just happy to have all of this behind them.
#drabbles#sun fnaf#moon fnaf#sundrop#moondrop#no y/n#death cw#blood mention cw#can you believe it? tumblr user muzzlemouths posting a fic that ISN'T y/n related?#I needed an additional example for my app. lmao#anyway! if it isn't obvious this takes place at the very beginning of Moon's glitch#his First Kill(tm) even#hope it isn't too heartbreaking for all my fellow Moon enjoyers out there <3 stay strong
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some of the things people say about Damian on here are fucking disgusting
I don't care if he's fictional, I would never say these things about a child
#mutual posted the 'damian wayne has a heart' tag from a03 and honestly I hate everyone who has posted under it#it was presented as an au or something they added to the character#as if it hasn't been there all along in canon#like so many people on here treat damian like a heartless irredeemable feral monster who needs to be taught to be human#by his white family members#like how do you not see how disgusting that is to say that about a child#and that's not even touching shipping him with full-grown adults/people related to him everyone knows y'all are troglodytes#damian wayne#batfam#batfamily#dc robin#robin#or tags with the shit like 'damian consntantly trying to murder tim' no the fuck he isn't#not to mention but honestly I have seen the crossover between people who are really shitty to damian and shitty about irl kids#but who would be surprised?
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I’ve mentioned this elsewhere but it feels relevant again in light of the most recent episode. Something that’s really fascinating to me about Orym’s grief in comparison to the rest of the hells’ grief is that his is the youngest/most fresh and because of that tends to be the most volatile when it is triggered (aside from FCG, who was two and obviously The Most volatile when triggered.)
As in: prior to the attack on Zephrah, Orym was leading a normal, happy, casual life! with family who loved him and still do! Grief was something that was inflicted upon him via Ludinus’ machinations, whereas with characters like Imogen or Ashton, grief has been the background tapestry of their entire lives. And I think that shows in how the rest of them are largely able to, if not see past completely (Imogen/Laudna/Chetney) then at least temper/direct their vitriol or grief (Ashton/Fearne/Chetney again) to where it is most effective. (There is a glaring reason, for example, that Imogen scolded Orym for the way he reacted to Liliana and not Ashton. Because Ashton’s anger was directed in a way that was ultimately protective of Imogen—most effective—and Orym’s was founded solely in his personal grief.)
He wants Imogen to have her mom and he wants Lilliana to be salvageable for Imogen because he loves Imogen. But his love for the people in his present actively and consistently tend to conflict with the love he has for the people in his past. They are in a constant battle and Orym—he cannot fathom losing either of them.
(Or, to that point, recognize that allowing empathy to take root in him for the enemy isn't losing one of them.)
It is deeply poignant, then, that Orym’s grief is symbolized by both a sword and shield. It is something he wields as a blade when he feels his philosophy being threatened by certain conversational threads (as he believes it is one of the only things he has left of Will and Derrig, and is therefore desperately clinging onto with both bloody hands even if it makes him, occasionally, a hypocrite), but also something he can use in defense of the people he presently loves—if that provocative, blade-grief side of him does not push them—or himself—away first.
(it won’t—he is as loved by the hells as he loves them. he just needs to—as laudna so beautifully said—say and hear it more often.)
#critical role#cr spoilers#bells hells#orym of the air ashari#cr meta#imogen temult#ashton greymoore#liliana temult#this is genuinely completely written in good faith as someone who loves orym#but is also about orym and so will inevitably end up being completely misconstrued and made into discourse. alas#I could talk about how Orym’s unwillingness to allow the hells to actually finish/come to a solid conclusion on Philosophy Talk#is directly connected to one of the largest criticisms of c3 (that they are constantly having these conversations)#all day. alas. engaging with orym’s flaws tends to make people upset#it is ESP prevelant when he walks off after exclaiming ‘they (vangaurd) are NOT right’#which was not only never said but wasn’t even what they were talking about#he even admits as much to imogen like ten minutes later! that he is incapable of viewing it objectively#which is 100% justifiable and understandable but simultaneously does not make his grief alone the most important perspective in the world#also bc i fear ppl will play semantics on my tags yes the line ‘i hope she’s right’ was said but it was from ASHTON#who does not believe they are at all and wasn’t saying they actively WERE right. orym just heard something to latch onto and ran with it#ultimately there is a reason orym only admitted that he was struggling when he had stepped away to talk to dorian#who has not been around and thusly has not changed once n orym's eyes#and it isn't that the hells never check in or care. they do. they have several times over#it is dishonest to say they haven't#the actual reason is that all of this is something He Is Aware Of. he doesn't mention it bc he KNOWS it's hypocritical and selfish#he says as much!#EXHALES. @ MY OWN BRAIN CAN WE THINK ABT MOG AGAIN. FYRA RAI EVEN. FOR ME.#posting this literally at 8 in the morning so I can get my thoughts out of my brain but also attempt to immediately make this post invisibl
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4c484ea33b25336e410632ef13465fd5/75e88f326e5971c8-af/s540x810/dc0304e62dce2d15e0e92a4e2912601b2525a6f9.jpg)
Henry talking about puppet Charlie Inside of lefty
#He loves his daughter but he's also terrified of her#Charlie's killed like a lot of people... To be fair all of them were associated with fasbear which she thought made them instantly guilty#But that's still murder#That isn't even mentioning all of the arson... And other crimes she committed well with Michael on the road#fnaf#charlie emily#henry emily
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ON GOD!!! I forgot to include it in my predictions rewrite, but seriously, we NEED at least something to explain it. I mean, he was so messed up by whatever happened down there that his eye colour changed! That doesn't just- happen! I know none of the rescue gang mentioned it at the time because well adrenaline was pumping, and it was god knows how late so it probably wouldn't have been easy to see anyways, but if no one brings it up in season 2 I will be shocked.
(Added in a fold after writing because uh- I wrote a lot)
If somehow, some way, it was just Mr. Peterson, then good god, I drop all my book related theorizing about him being at least somewhat sympatic because there's no amount of dead wives and kids that can make up for breaking someone's mind like that. I would be expecting a "The rescue squad commits a murder" arc /j. However, I doubt it. I'm not fully convinced it is the Guest, and am iffy about what role the Thing will play in general (other than either Nicky or Aaron or - well, someone in the house drew it). If I remember correctly, but don't quote me on this, the guest can also change shape and mimick others which I've theorized with Calypso could explain the same repeated sob we hear the entire series (I would explain this with show budget but we also hear varieted crying in episode 6 so I don't know why they'd only use one asset everywhere else). So it could have to do with that.
It also makes me more curious about Aaron, though, admittedly. I'm pretty sure-ish at least personally that the shadow we see running out of the house is Aaron because of how quickly Mr. Peterson suddenly becomes okay with breaking the set rules and sprinting sprinting after the kids. (Don't know what his plan was with grabbing Trinity, though? Does he think just having a kid in his basement would lure whoever escaped back?) This is all assuming Aaron IS alive, of course. But I'm curious to see what he's like if he does make an appearance. Nicky was in the basement for weeks and kind of okay-ishhhhh, comparitively to episode 6. Aaron would've been down there for several months, assumedly at least as long as Nicky's been tracking Mr. Peterson. Is he going to be as- broken as Nicky? Worse? Better?
Though the other sort of- I dunno mini theory? It's made me wonder is if he has brief moments of "normalcy." Maybe sparked when his friends are more directly talking to him? My biggest evidence of this is in episode 6, when this happens
Trinity grabs Nicky's shoulders and says "I need my friend. I need you back!"
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7b96db93b49361740a93d0b980d1db83/8eb85defe3ad5682-29/s540x810/88652c8988f7a0328d2df28bf7db322789be07da.jpg)
Nicky stares at her, blinks quickly a few times, does a more "hard" focused blink, and his eyes seem more "focused" his pupils are even fully back to normal size, larger than the first image even when you line his head up to account for the zoom in.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b8c5496f99639fecbbef0fc5a943d3e8/8eb85defe3ad5682-c2/s540x810/3af78a776505b42af81b5186c991d25196c2eb30.jpg)
He says "I-" and glances off to the side before turning, when suddenly that focus in his eyes is gone.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c8d753b67d7ce9ddba29eabf2940b141/8eb85defe3ad5682-d9/s540x810/56743821671cb2289c0306aadf3d3c43bf849b7e.jpg)
This is when we get the "I know where to go" which is not the line I think he was originally aiming to say, or at least not in the "we need to go back to the basement" way he says it here. I've seen people in general point to Nicky's behavior this episode and say it might be possession of sort (mainly because change in eye colour is a common sign of possession) but I'm not convinced myself.
Nicky's unfocused eyes as I'll call them seem to stare without looking. They stare straight ahead almost blindly. But when he's refocused, he has a very specific glance to the side. This could be him just looking around before he turns, and I'm overthinking it, but I'm also thinking it might be something he saw in his peripheral. Something maybe the others can't see because they weren't subjected to the basement really as much as they were just thrown down there.
We kind of see this same panicked looking in the basement at the room with the crow door. After opening it and tackling Trinity, he has another "eyes blink into refocus" moment before he starts rattling off "I'm sorry"s. Not stagnent or statue like but instead visibly shaking and flinching when touched. He looks around again before walking off, and the next time we see his eyes, they're the smallest and most horrified we see in the whole episode, and he's hugging his knees in utter dread. He's cowering, and as the others even try to go the "wrong way," he shrinks back into the washer/dryer like its cover.
Even how he replies to Trinity "Right" before closing his eyes tightly, "Wrong. Wrong way!" Only to (seemingly) have returned to unfocused again with how he's suddenly okay with leaving the washer/dryer and being pulled along and how the next time we see him his voice has gone monotoned again.
Now, this might be going too deep into over analyzing (if I haven't hit there already) , but stick with me here. The drawings we see upstairs don't match the rest of Aaron's art (the window drawings). They're scribbled, inky, messy, and just don't seem like the art of someone in a sane state of mind. One of them is of the Thing. There's another if Imbir, who's kind of just used as a mascot sometimes, but who we've also seen at all of the incidents through the series. The third appears to be a dog or wolf of somesort surrounded by more ink (Calypso also said it could be the Guest in his cloak with it's mouth open, and that there appears to be a foot or wing in the top corner) I guess we'll see. But onto why I bring these up.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f9783018aba9b8fe6a5800e82e8aebcc/8eb85defe3ad5682-ee/s540x810/9fc05c14c8ef725eeae06b1e3e768777502ada6c.jpg)
I think these were made by Nicky and taken to look into by Theo. Again, because of how different they are to Aaron's art. The Thing in the games, as far as I remember at least, and I can't vouch for the books because, well, I haven't read them, is a being made entirely of fear. This played into the nightmare sequences Nicky has in game and yada yada.
Am I saying that the Thing traumatized Nicky? No. However, I think whatever has happened to him has caused him to see something more. Something again, the others can't see. This being (or more likely one of) the reasons why his eyes are so blank and unfocused, like he's trying not to see what "Hunts, no matter where you run," as Nicky says at the end of 6.
I think this idea of focused and unfocused is also why his eyes are so strained and why he clings to his bag. Strained eyes like that where veins become more visible are usually linked to a lack of sleep. Why might he be avoiding sleep? Nightmares. Not simply the idea of them, but what or who is in them. If this is related to the Thing at all, it's likely it's at its strongest in nightmares/dreams when a person is most vulnerable. So staying awake would be a way to at least keep it away at its worst and preserve his sanity slightly. (Potentially why he still has some left in his "focused" moments). However he can't completely avoid it, it's still there even with his eyes open. So he does whatever else he can to avoid it.
- minimal blinking to avoid falling asleep
- not focusing his vision to look at it or really see anything
- using the bag as a way to completely block it out without closing his eyes. You can't see anything when focused (or not focused) on darkness. (Fun fact he even actually smiles when finding his bag again)
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But like he says in that same closet room scene with the drawings and my first example of his "focus"
"Locks can't keep it out... it gets in your head."
Even with all his attempts to keep his sanity and safety, the trauma he's receiving from the basement mixed with what role I think the Thing is playing, he's still lost it. He's still broken despite these instances of clarity.
So, I have some thoughts that I'm gonna share with y'all:
You remember this scene where Enzo is talking with Nicky?
Well, this only takes place A FEW HOURS before episode six, but this Nicky is drastically different from ep. 6 Nicky, enough that I assumed that at least a month has passed in between episode 5 and six, but it doesn't. SO WHAT HAPPENED TO NICKY???
Because here Nicky seems to be at least aware of where he is and his general situation, but then in episode 6 Nicky is just gone. He goes from begging to be let out to willingly returning to the basement in the course of literally a few hours. Clearly something happened cause we are seeing two completely different versions of Nicky. I know the guest was probably doing something but shhh, he's not really a character in the show yet.
Anyways, I am absolutely NOT obsessed with this show and it DOES NOT consume all of my thoughts <3
#if you actually read all that I'm impressed ngl#I've been very thoroughly theorizing about this#I was rewatching episode 6 on loop just to write this in case I forgot any details#but of course this is all my speculation#this isn't even mentioning his#“I'll keep playing”#“please. don't hurt me”#“I'll be your friend. your best friend!”#“promise”#I probably could#but if I keep writing I won't stop#...is this how matpat felt with the fnaf box?#because this feels like my fnaf box
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