send 👂 to overhear my muse talking about yours.
she never imagined herself doing this, mostly because she never thought about herself getting married at all. she thought maybe if it happened someday, it’d happen, but because she knew it wasn’t even applicable for someone like her, she didn’t let herself spend too much time thinking about it at all. she definitely didn’t expect that to be how she spent her time out here— most of the time, she’s been trying to look forward, figure out how they could get home. but when her excursion failed, it became harder and harder to stay optimistic, and adapting to the situation seemed much more prevalent.
that’s why it was so easy for her to say yes to mikayla.
they don’t know what this means for once ( if ) they do get home. they haven’t discussed it, but it doesn’t seem to matter, anyway— because taissa’s certain about her feelings. she’s certain that what they have here is already what mikayla described to her when she proposed, and maybe this ceremony they’re planning to do is entirely unnecessary— but that doesn’t matter. mikayla deserves everything tai can give her, and celebrating their love isn’t something she wants to do simply. getting to call her her wife, knowing they’ve done this, it makes it even better. and while tai has mostly been bothered by some of the attempts to make ‘fun’ out of this place, this is not like that for her. she or mikayla could die at any time; they could be torn away from each other in sacrifice. and while they both have ensured each other they’re going to fight if it comes to that, at least they’ll always be certain of this: their love knows no bounds, and they have each other.
❝ do you think it’s stupid? ❞ she doesn’t actually care for an answer, because she isn’t changing her own mind. she knows it may seem silly from the outside, but it’s real to her and it’s real to mikayla. and if this is a chance to give everyone some kind of hope, then she wants to take it. ❝ —- it’s not. not to me, ❞ she insists, and suddenly, she feels shy around nat. she always thought the concept of some man asking a father’s permission to marry his daughter was ridiculous, because it’s not up to them, and she definitely wouldn’t care for mikayla’s father’s opinion. but she does care about nat’s, because she knows what nat has always meant to mikayla, and she knows that she’s the best friend she has. and more than that, too, nat’s their leader, she’s the one they’re all looking to for guidance, the one tai doesn’t want to disappoint on multiple levels. her opinion does matter, especially about mikayla.
❝ i love her. i’ve never— i never saw this for myself. i didn’t let myself think about that, ❞ she admits, and she instantly realizes she’s giving nat a side of herself she’s never shared with her before, but it feels worth it, because if she’s going to declare her love for mikayla so proudly in front of everyone like this, she wants it to be clear. ❝ but loving her is the easiest thing i’ve ever done. ❞ even out here, when nothing feels simple— she has that to hold onto. and she has a lot of regrets and a lot of resentment for the choices she’s made, leading her to constantly question whether for not she’s even capable of doing good. but her love for mikayla reminds her that she isn’t the monster that some people have made her out to be, and she never wants to forget that.
her eyes scan nat’s for a moment before she takes a deep breath, trying to collect herself. ❝ she’s already my wife. that’s what she is to me. i was just hoping . . . we could— i don’t know. ❞ she starts to roll her eyes, mostly feeling silly for it now, but it’s still important. ❝ — you’re her best friend, ❞ she blurts instead. ❝ so i guess i just want to know that you— you think i’m good enough for her. ❞ her jaw clenches, because it sounds ridiculous. this isn’t the way she talks about herself, not with this shaken confidence, but this is for mikayla. ❝ i want — your blessing. or whatever, ❞ she adds with a soft scoff, poking fun at herself. tell me i’m not going to fuck this up, she means. tell me i’m going to be what she deserves.
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the story im doing for nanowrimo and is meant to have 20 chapters. cool i figure that gives me enough content to reach 50k. might go a bit extra.
im still not done with chapter 3 and this sucker is already at 12k. so. might be a bit longer than anticipated.
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not me just cramming like 90% of my post-canon vegaspete desires into one fic
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