#this is why we need a third album so i can have something better to do

[beat-the-morning]

Depression interrupted || Hozier x reader

Kinktober - Day 6: Interruption

Prompt List

Tags: interruption, spit, mentions of depression, multiple orgasms, long introduction, reader has depression, nipple sucking, hickeys, references to possible suicide, fluff, hurt/comfort kinda because the hurt is like 2 paragraphs and the comfort is the rest of the fic

Summary: You’ve been on a depressive episode for the past couple weeks, and while Andrew had given you the space you requested, his anxiety gets the better of him when you stop answering your phone. So he goes to your apartment and finds a pleasant surprise.

Word count: 3.4k

A/N: this one’s a long one chat idk what to say i got really into it. There’s nothing explicit that isnt the smut itself so don’t worry about it💙

||💙FULL FIC UNDER CUT💙||

You had been in a slight depressive rut for these past few weeks, you didn’t know why exactly, but two and a half weeks ago you started feeling so incredibly sad that your brain decided it was best if you isolated yourself for a while, you worked from home anyway so it wasn’t like you’d be missing work if you decided to bedrot for a couple days until you felt better. But the “couple days” had now become seventeen days of not leaving the house and doing the bare minimum communication with your friends and family so they’d know you weren’t dead. This trend of lacklustre communication had also extended to your boyfriend, Andrew, who had been worried sick about you since you started answering to his messages less and less and not talking much during your calls.

He’d wanted to come see you sooner, but between making new songs and having meetings for his next album, he had been too busy to do anything that wasn’t working until a couple days ago. You had told him to not worry, that you just needed to be alone for a bit, and he decided to just let you be for a bit, checking in on you at least twice a day, usually more, and feeling his anxiety dissipate when you answered. His brain was divided, he did want you to have your own space and to let you figure this out on your own like you had before, but at the same time he was worried, your depressive episodes had never lasted more than four or five days since you started dating, and he’d always helped you through them, so why were you so distant now? And why for so long? Were you planning something? Andrew felt a knot in his stomach at the thought of you doing anything to hurt yourself, he grabbed his phone and messaged you, an admittedly cheesy message, but it was the only way he had of hiding how incredibly anxious he truly felt.

Andrew:

how are you feeling my love? can we call? id love to hear your voice i miss you so much baby <3] </blockquote>

You didn’t answer, didn’t even read his message, for the next hour Andrew sat on his couch waiting for you to message him or even to leave him on read so he’d know you’re still there. His anxiety created worse and worse scenarios in his head, he knew the most probable reason as to why you hadn’t answered yet was that you were asleep, but the little worm in his head told him a more sinister story, so he called you. You didn’t answer. He tried again. Voicemail. Third time. No answer. He knew that you would still get notifications from him and that your phone would still ring if it was a call from him even when you had it on Do Not Disturb, so why weren’t you answering? He called over and over again for the next hour, by his twenty-third call he was stressed out of his mind, he didn’t know what to do, but the call didn’t go to voicemail this time.

“Sorry, the number you’re trying to reach is off or without signal, please try again later.” Said the robotic voice over the phone. That settled it for Andrew, he took his keys and the copy he had of yours “for emergencies” and got in his car with the intention of driving it to your house and checking in on you in person.

While all of this had been happening, you had been sleeping on the couch while your phone was in your bedroom supposedly charging, or it would be if you had remembered to plug it in. You woke up a bit after your phone had, unbeknownst to you, fully ran out of battery. You staggered over to your bedroom once more, your feet dragging along the floor of your small one-bedroom apartment. You threw yourself on your bed, not even bothering to check your phone before curling in on yourself and trying to fall asleep again, tossing and turning in your bed for a couple minutes before you decided to just masturbate to help you fall asleep again. Laying on your back, your hand sauntered downwards on your body, slipping under your pants and underwear and in between your folds, you gasped softly at your own touch, having not done this since your depressive episode took hold. Slowly, you started flicking your clit, you couldn’t be bothered to look for your toy so your hands would have to do. Your free hand moved up under your shirt and to your chest, squeezing your breast though your bra and making you gasp again. Soft, quiet whimpers and moans escaped your lips as you slowly played with yourself.

Andrew was driving to your apartment at a record pace while still being careful enough that he wouldn’t break any laws, finishing what would normally be a 45 minute ride in 35. He parked the closest he could to your building and, as calmly as he could, speed-walked over to your building’s door, opened it, and went inside. He took the elevator to your floor, the fifth, and while it slowly moved, he repeated the same thought in his head over and over, that you were probably just asleep and that he was worrying for nothing, but he needed to make sure you were okay, he needed to see you, even if you hadn’t actually done anything to yourself he still wanted to hold you in his arms until you felt like yourself again. He’d missed you so much in just two weeks and the thought of not being beside you for another second hurt him. The elevator doors opened, he rushed to your door, unlocking it and stepping into your apartment.

It wasn’t as bad as he’d imagined it would be, but he hadn’t seen your room or the kitchen yet, so he knew there would still be some surprises for you two to clean later. He called your name, you didn’t answer, being too focused on your own moans in your bedroom to hear him speak or walk towards your bedroom door. Andrew leaned his ear against the door, hearing soft whimpers coming from inside, he felt his heart relax and break at the same time, his worst nightmare hadn’t come true, but you were, to his knowledge, crying in your bedroom by yourself. He slowly opened the door, his eyes looking for you in the dark space.

“Baby? I’m sorry I came here like this but you weren’t answering and I- oh.” He explained quickly as he slowly pushed the door open, his little apology coming to a halt as he saw you on the bed, your shirt and bra scrunched up over your chest revealing your breasts while your hand squeezed one of them. Your other hand having travelled to your cunt, idly playing with your clit. He felt his anxiety vanish completely, being replaced by insatiable love and lust for you.

You yelped at the sight of Andrew at your bedroom door, your hands stopping their movements and rushing to grab something to cover yourself with like he hadn’t seen you naked a million times over. “Andrew!” You screamed, “what are you doing here?”

“You weren’t answering my messages or my calls and then your phone ran out of battery so I came to see you.” He explained, a small smirk slowly appearing on his face. “Glad to see you’re okay, though.”

“I- I had it charging, did I not plug it in correctly?” You mumbled as you reached over to your nightstand, finally noticing that the charger wasn’t plugged into the wall. You noticed Andrew’s weight shift the mattress, then his arms around your waist pulling you close to him.

“Why didn’t you want to see me, baby?” He asked softly, burying his face in your hair.

“I didn’t want you to see me like this,” you answered, your voice starting to shake as the tears formed in your eyes. “I’m a mess, I don’t want to burden you with my stupid brain.”

“Hey, hey, hey,” he cooed lovingly, making you turn around so you were looking at him. “Don’t say that, you could never burden me, ever. I love you, more than anything, and I want to be here for you for anything that you need help with. Especially this, okay?”

You nodded, a few tears leaving your eyes and running down your face.

“Don’t cry, baby,” he kissed your cheeks a couple times each. “Do you want to talk about something else to get your mind off the sad thoughts? Or do you want to vent for a bit?”

“Something else,” you practically whispered, making Andrew smile.

“Okay, how about we talk about what you were doing just before I came into the room, hm?”

You felt your face heat up as you heard his question. “I- ehm. I was… yeah.” You managed to stutter out.

“Do you want help finishing with it?” He asked, his voice dropping an octave lower.

You nodded meekly, feeling your blood rush to your cunt. He chuckled.

“How do you want the help, my love?” He asked, leaning closer. “Do you want my mouth? My fingers? My cock?”

“Cock.” You answered, your face heating up even more.

“Very well, then.” Andrew smiled lovingly, kissing your lips deeply, his tongue moving against your lips, asking for entrance.

You opened your mouth, he deepened the kiss immediately, you kissed back with just as much passion as him, your fingers tangling in his curls. He pulled back from your lips and started kissing down your jaw and neck, relishing in the sound of your soft moans.

“You smell like coffee,” he pointed out between kisses.

“I spilled some on myself this morning, it was worse before I showered.” You mumbled in response.

“You showered?” He asked.

“Shut up.” You pouted.

“I wasn’t teasing, love. I’m proud of you.” He smiled softly, his eyes looking into yours with nothing but love and understanding. He kissed you again, more gentle this time, then resumed his worshipping of your neck, making his way down to your collarbone. His hands pulled at your shirt, his lips leaving your skin for just long enough that he could take it off you, followed by your bra, leaving you completely topless. He fondled your breasts, pinching your nipples until they were hard and taking one of them into his mouth, sucking and nibbling while his fingers played with your other one.

Gently, you laid down on the bed, Andrew followed behind, trapping you below him. His mouth moved to your other nipple, the coldness of the air hitting your wet peak making you gasp and goosebumps form in your skin. He chuckled, kissing your skin a few more times before pulling back and taking his own sweater and undershirt off. You smiled at the sight of him, he smiled back.

“There’s that smile I missed.” He said in a loving whisper, leaning closer to you when he noticed your hands reaching out to touch him. He hummed softly, closing his eyes for a second to fully focus on the feeling of your hands on him. You caressed his torso, stopping to grasp and squeeze his man boobs and his chubby stomach, making him laugh again. “Always with that.” He teased.

“Let me be, I like it.” You teased back, trying not to giggle.

“Not complaining,” he leaned down to place a peck on your lips with a smile. “Just making an observation.”

“Sure it was.” You giggled softly, Andrew smiled lovingly as he slowly kissed down your body.

“Have you been taking your birth control?” He asked once his hands started pulling down on your pants.

You shook your head, you hadn’t taken it since this episode started. “I don’t have any condoms either…” you added softly.

“Yeah you do,” Andrew argued with a crooked smile, standing up and taking a box of condoms from the drawer on your bedside table.

“I didn’t buy those,” you felt your face heating up again.

“I know, I did,” he chuckled as he started unbuckling his belt, “put them there just in case, too.” He threw the belt off somewhere in your room, taking off his jeans and boxers in one movement, his cock springing free from its confines, already hard and leaking. He took one of the condoms from the box, opening it and rolling it onto his cock.

He positioned himself between your legs, taking your pants and underwear off you as quickly as he could, running his fingers up and down your slit to see how wet you were.

“You’re dripping,” he growled, “all for me?” He added teasingly.

“Yeah,” you moaned softly.

“Did you even come before I interrupted you? Or since we last saw each other at all?” He asked, his voice deep and sultry. You shook your head in response, he chuckled and mockingly pouted, his hands moving your legs apart and positioning his length at your entrance. “Oh, my poor baby, almost three weeks without an orgasm, how did you even manage?”

“Shut up and fuck me already,” you whined needily, “please.”

“Demanding little brat,” he scolded playfully, thrusting himself complaining into your pussy in one single thrust and making you scream in pleasure. You tried to catch your breath, feeling your walls stretch around him in the most pleasurable pain to accommodate to his size. He stood still, buried to the hilt in your heat, drunk on the sound of your quiet gasps. “God, baby, you feel so fucking good, I almost wish I wasn’t wearing a condom right now.” He chuckled softly as he leaned in to kiss you.

You kissed back, moving your hips ever so slightly to silently tell him to start moving. He listened, thrusting languidly in and out of you. “Faster, please,” you mumbled between soft moans.

“How much faster, baby?” He asked, kissing your neck passionately. “Do you want me to ruin you completely? Because I know I want to.”

“Yes, please,” you begged in between breathy moans, “oh my God, pleasepleasepleaseplease.”

Andrew smiled, biting and sucking softly at your pulse point, leaving a mark for everyone to see. His pace quickened, becoming relentless and unstoppable as your nails left their mark on his back. Your bed shook with the intensity, your moaning resounding against the bedroom walls. He kissed your body in any place where he could reach, enjoying the sound of your cries of pleasure as he lost himself in you.

He grabbed your leg, moving it so your ankle was on his shoulder allowing his cock to hit on the right spot to drive you crazy. He looked at your tits, bouncing as he thrust into you, your face contorted in pleasure. His hand that wasn’t holding your leg moved to squeeze your breast, twisting and pulling your nipple to make you scream like he liked you to. He growled as you moaned louder and louder.

He kissed what he could reach of your leg, wanting desperately to always have his lips somewhere on you. His hand moved from your breast to your lips parting them with his fingers and pushing two of them into your mouth. You sucked out of instinct, eliciting a deep moan from Andrew. His fingers slowly thrusted in and out, muffling your moans, then he pulled them out, holding your mouth open by your chin, he leaned in, his face hovering over yours. He gathered saliva in his mouth, then slightly parted his own lips, letting his spit fall from his mouth to yours, shutting it closed right after. “Swallow it.” He ordered, leaving no room for argument, his relentless thrusts still shaking you and the bed. You obeyed, swallowing it without looking away from his eyes. He opened your mouth again, doing the same thing he just did and spitting into your mouth once more, this time you shut your mouth by yourself and swallowed without him having to tell you. He smiled, caressing your face lovingly. “Good girl, that’s it, you’re so good for me, baby. So fucking perfect.”

You felt the twist of climax forming in your lower tummy, your moans mixing with whimpers. Andrew slightly changed the posture just enough so his pelvis would hit against your clit with every thrust. You felt the coil quickly tightening more and more until it snapped without a warning. You clenched around Andrew’s cock in your orgasmic bliss, your juices spilling out of your cunt around him, making a mess on the bed. “Don’t stop, please, don’t stop.” You begged even as your climax washed over you.

“You want another one, baby?” He teased lightly, feeling like he was on cloud nine just from hearing you beg for another orgasm.

“Yeah… please?” You begged desperately. “Please, Andy, I’ll be good, please!”

“You know I can’t say no to you, my perfect angel.”

His hand moved to your clit, flicking it rapidly while his thrusts became irregular and twitchy because of his own oncoming orgasm. You felt your second climax creep up on you again, your legs shaking from the overstimulation and your moans turning completely into whines and whimpers.

“Almost there, baby, come with me, that’s it.” He cooed gently, guiding you towards your next orgasm. “Such a pretty sight, my darling girl, so pretty for me.”

You came at the sound of his voice, clenching around him once more as he buried himself deep in you, stopping his movement and spilling his seed into the condom. You both breathed deeply, trying to catch your respective breaths.

Andrew pulled out of you, letting you lay in bed while he took off his condom and tied a knot on it before throwing it in the trash. He put his boxers back on, sitting back on the bed and caressing your body with love and care. “How are you feeling, love?” He asked softly.

“Good,” you smiled, “better than I have in the past couple weeks.”

“I’m glad,” he kissed your cheek, “go to the bathroom, baby, you know you have to.” He reminded you. You nodded, standing up from the bed and making your way out of the bedroom, stopping at the door when Andrew called your name. “Can you make me some coffee, please? Only if you feel like it, I can make it myself if not.” He asked.

“I’ll make you some, don’t worry about it.” You smiled, leaving the bedroom, closing the door, and walking into the only bathroom in your apartment. You cleaned yourself up, put on new clothes that had been on the folding pile since the week before last, and went into the kitchen to make coffee for Andrew. You heard some noises coming from your room, which you assumed was Andrew trying to find his clothes between all the mess that had accumulated in there for the past two and a half weeks. You finished the coffee after a while, having made it in an Italian coffee press since you knew Andrew didn’t have one but liked how coffee tasted when made in one, poured it in a cup and made your way back to your bedroom. You opened the door to find most of the mess gone, the windows opened and lighting up the room once more.

“What the..?” You mumbled softly, seeing Andrew throw the last of your clothes that had been scattered across the floor into your hamper.

“I know you don’t have the energy to clean right now,” he said softly, taking the coffee from your hands and taking a sip, “so I thought I’d help a bit.”

“You didn’t have to.” You said, feeling tears prickling up in your eyes.

“I wanted to, though,” he assured you, leaving the coffee on your dresser and holding your face in his hands and wiping away the tears that had fallen from your eyes. “I love you, I want to help you. So let me.”

You hugged him tightly, “thank you,” you sobbed lightly, overwhelmed by the amount of love you were getting from him. “I love you too, I love you so much.”

“Don’t cry, angel,” he kissed your head. “Let’s cuddle for a bit, then we can go out somewhere if you want or we can stay here and watch a movie or something, okay?”

“Okay.” You nodded into his chest, letting yourself be guided into your bed once more and curling up in his embrace as you laid together, his fingers running along your hair and arms.

[metalotaku-da]

So many cross overs so narrow of common hero choices. Let's expand a little.

"Rip what the hell is that?"

"It appears sir, to be a small human child. Around the developmental stage of 4-5"

"Even you know better than to cuss infront of kids.

"I was gone for five minutes."

"Actually I snapped you back to a minute after you left."

"Are You misser booser gol?"

"Yeah kid that's me. You a fan or something who got into something you shouldn't to find me?"

"No. Clockie said tis for you." Hands a sticky note to booster.

Note reads: this is Danny. You will care for him from now on. See this as payment for resetting your time line safely. If you even try pass him off to Bruce wayne/batman, I will ensure your entire familial line never touched time traversing. And you stayed forever trapped in the 31st century. -clockwork master ancient of all time. P.s. there is not conning your way out of this. I will hunt down every ancestor or decendant for all time.

"This looks very serious sir. Congratulations sir you are a father Now"

"Wow kid. Clockie must hate you. I'm so sorry."

"I'm not that bad of an option. Obviously I was judged better that batsy."

"Clockie ass hero I want to say wiff."

"OH kiddo and you asked for the greatest hero boostergold?"

"I wike space. He say geen lanern is space. He take care of me."

"I'm so sorry sir, you have already disappointed your new child. Should I take a commemorative photo of this milestone moment for you?"

"No" "yes skeets"

Camera flashes.

"I shall add this photo to a new album labeled baby book. It is labeled Danny's first disappointment, sir."

"Thank you skeets." X2 one sarcastic one pleased.

"I wan geen lanern."

"Think you're gonna need help anyway Micheal. Call one of them. Not guy."

"I would never co-parent with guy. What kind of idiot do you take me for?"

"Rip takes you as the utmost idiot sir. As does most of the justice league sir."

"Thanks skeets."

"You are most welcome sir."

"Can I pay wif the talking space ship?"

"Sure kid." Pushes skeets into the kids hands.

"I do not believe I am rated for physical interaction by children under 10 sir."

"To bad skeets." Picks up Danny who looks up at him instead of at skeets to smile all teeth. "Holy shit are those fangs? We are going to go see my friend Ted now. He will know what to do."

"He will atleast know not to cuss infront of kids. Don't know about the rest."

"Is ted geen lanern?"

Cue shenanigans. They were roommates, but adopted a child.

"Does Batman know you stole a child from him?" <- Jaime when he visits.

"Do not even joke like that. My existence is at stake."

"Batsy is the new beetle juice. In this house."

"Are You geen lanern?"

"Sorry kid I am blue beetle."

"Should I take a picture for Danny's third disappointment since becoming your child sir?"

"No skeets."

"3rd? How long you had him?"

"A week"

"Ouch. Hey kiddo why do you want to meet green lantern? Aren't these guys just as cool?"

"Considering the average human body temperature is 98.6 degrees I do not believe they qualify as cool sir." Jaime is picking up danny to hold on his hip.

"Clockie says geen lanern is space." Danny smiles.

"Are those fangs? Is this a meta kid? You like space? My scarab is from space. Isn't that just as... Oh My, no scarab!" Scarab starts to go into protect host mode while screaming danger desteoy threat in Jaime head just as Danny's eyes start to glow green at the statement and his mouth splits inhumanly wide with even more teeth. Ted and Michael scramble to grab Danny and move him away from Jaime till he gets control of the scarab again. But Danny has a death grip and won't let go of his new friend.

"I do believe sir that your new child qualifies as a meta. Should I take a picture to commemorate your child's first power demonstration sir?"

[koiir]

‧̍̊˙· CHEER UP BABY! ·˙‧̍̊

— How they cheer you up

Characters - Scaramouche, Diluc, Cyno, xiao,

Genre - fluff, comfort, crack

A/n: less than two weeks bro… and then I see… TWICE BABYY

“Gosh, grumpy today are we?” Scaramouche wrapped his hands behind your neck, continuing the teasing he has been doing.

“Who wouldn’t be around you?”

“And attitude? Wow [name], you’re breaking my heart.” The indigo haired looked at your face, annoyance written on your face as you scrolled on your phone, acting as if you weren’t bothered. But Scaramouche knew better. It’s been hours, you should have gotten over it by. But nope.

“There’s always next time you know, just search the album online and see if you can find it-“

“You don’t understand that was the last one! And I bet online they’ll all be sold out Scara!” You finally turned to face him, a pout on your face as you recall the moment I’m which you saw that one guy purchasing the album you wanted, and walking out of the store happy with his buy. But you were absolutely furious as you watched the man trail into his car, wanting to jump him.

Your lover looked at you, a grin making its way onto his face. A thought of a way to make you happy, annoyed in his thoughts. “Well… nothing we can do now huh?” He said that as he quickly swooped your phone, ignoring your voice telling him to stop.

“SCARA WAIT, GET BACK HERE.” You two should have stayed inside, because with the space available Scaramouche was able to run around with you trailing behind him. It resembled a game of tag, rather it was not fun going after him as he happily mocked you and teased you until finally you caught him.

“What the fuck scara! I was already tired enough and so you decide to make me run around?!”

“Yeah, had to let you blow of the steam somehow,” he winked at you happy with his doing. You rolled your eyes at him, now being pulled into his chest.

“But,” one.

“Don’t get so bothered over this,” two.

“I’ll make it up to you,” three. The third kiss Scaramouche gave to you.

Little did you know he had ordered something that would soon arrive, just in case this happened.

“You ready love?” Diluc knocked on the door, waiting for a sign that it was okay to enter.

You opened the door, seeing the face of your lover who would drop everything for you. Literally. It’s why he canceled his meeting in order to create the date he had in store for you after seeing you so worn out from work. You didn’t even know what the date would hold, not knowing Diluc had came up with it last minute.

“You know… you didn’t have to do this Luc. Staying at home with you would’ve been fine.” It’s true, any moment spent with him was all you needed, being close to him was enough. But this small act of love made you realize how lucky you were to be his.

“And why would I let you spiral into your thoughts? I want you to be happy rather than upset over today. It’s the least I could do you for you [name], after everything you have done for me.” A kiss was given to your cheek as diluc grabbed your hand and led you to the spot in which your date would take place.

The sun now setting made it the perfect view, the small patio outside looked gorgeous with flickering lights around, petals of flowers and the nature around it made it look like a scene from a movie. When did Diluc do this? You sure you would’ve noticed a place like this before, but he always had his ways.

“Diluc… It’s beautiful, when did you-“

“I’ve thought of this for a while actually, but last week. Since I noticed you’ve been more stressed about work. I knew a place like this would help calm you down.” Your heart fluttered at his words, looking away and back onto the scene that he made just for you.

He held your hand, walking over to the table placed just for you and him. Awaiting the both of you was plates of food ready for the two of you. The food was recently made, who else was in on this date he planned?

It didn’t matter though, in the moment in was just you and Diluc. It felt like a new breeze of air, finally not having to the deal with the troubles of work and instead be with the one you cherished most. Looks like his plan did work after all.

“How about-“ “cyno shut up.” The man looked back at you, his expression showing a slight annoyance after you shut him down. Was it so bad that he wanted to tell you an amazing joke of his?

“[name], don’t let your feelings get the best of you. You can’t keep being this mean to me, you know.” It felt like an entirety with how Cyno kept trying to cheer you up, but his jokes were going to be the death of you. No matter how bad the joke was, you would crack a small smile trying not to laugh. If you did, he would only continue. Even though he is still trying. So in this situation, nothing would change him.

“Okay well, let’s try something different.” Oh no. You looked over at Cyno, a small smile smirk on his face. You narrowed your eyes at him, hoping he would get the hint by now. It you couldn’t help the excitement that rose in you, wondering what cyno would come up with.

“Are you twice? Because I’ll be your once and only.” You had no idea how cyno could say these things with a straight face, he stared at you waiting for you to say something. Your mouth hanged open, if it could be possible your jaw would be on the floor.

You blinked once, still looking at him. His mouth was about to open once more, but you had to stop him before he said anything else. “Cyno… that didnt even make sense.” After that you bursted out laughing, not being able to get over what he had said.

“What do you mean? It made perfect sense to me, you should know that.” Cyno looked over at you, hand on your face as you kept giggling. Eyes growing soft as he stared at you, seeing your smile and laughter made his heart flutter.

“Do you wanna hear another one?” For once in your life, you said yes.

“I’m back,” xiao stated as he entered, coming back from getting what was needed. What you needed.

He opened the door to the bedroom you two shared, seeing you curled up in bed. Pain evident on your face, the ache coming from your legs and head while your throat felt like it was fire. You had caught a fever and had to stay in for a couple of days, today was the day you were suppose to be at a fitting. Now you missed the important date and sadness swept over you.

“I’m here love.” Xiao slid into the bed, covering the blanket over you so it covered you fully. You turned around, seeing your lover back. He wrapped your hands around you, pulling you into his warm embrace. You melting into him, the warmth that came from him giving you comfort.

“Have you felt better?”

“Not really… just feel more tired.” Xiao hummed in response, holding you tight while looking back that floor where he had left the bag. The bag contained things needed, and one little surprise.

“I got you some things you might need, and this.” When he turned back to face you, Xiao held a plushie that you saw the other day while looking through the city. Your eyes widened as he handed you the plushie, the small smile you loved appearing on his face.

“Xiao! You didn’t have to you know… but thank you, I love it.” A kiss was given to the crown of your head as he caressed your cheek, the two of you maintaining eye contact. Gazing at one another with love and passion.

“It was worth it since it made you happy, I remember the smile that you had when you first saw it.” Whatever it was, if it made you happy Xiao would not have a second thought about it. He would immediately get it, for you, the love of his life.

A/n: I sincerely apologize for the joke that was made In cyno’s part. I hope you all can forgive me for that

[steddieasitgoes]

@steddiemas Day 5 Prompt: Grinch vs Christmas Cheer

Tags: Modern AU, Eddie Munson & Jeff, Steve & Eddie Are Neighbors, Teacher Steve, Meet Cute

wc: 1863 | Rating: T

Read on ao3 | ao3 collection

“I thought you said you talked to them?” Eddie groans. He tips his head so far back he wobbles in the chair for a moment before he rights himself and buries his head in his hands. “I can’t work under these conditions!” 

“I don’t think planning a campaign counts as working,” Jeff teases. 

They’re in their apartment kitchen. Jeff cooking something that smells a hundred times better than the vending machine sandwich he had for lunch at the shop. Free from his day job, Eddie’s working on something he actually cares about now. The latest Dungeons & Dragons handbook is open to a random page while his trusty notebook sits open. There’s no use in hiding it from Jeff. It’s not like he could decipher Eddie’s chicken scratch penmanship anyway.

Besides, he hasn’t gotten much of anything done since he plopped down on the worn leather chair. It’s hard to work with the blaring sound of Mariah fucking Carey’s Christmas album playing on repeat for the third day straight coming from their neighbor's apartment. The obnoxious whirling of the fans keeping a dozen or so Christmas inflatables blown up on their shared stairwell and balcony also doesn’t help. 

If this continues any longer, Eddie swears he’s going to find them a new place to live. The peace and quiet would be worth losing out on their rent-controlled place. At least, Eddie thinks so. Christ, he misses the Richards who moved last year. He’d take their scowls and snide comments over this Christmas madness any day. 

“It absolutely counts as working,” Eddie scoffs, shooting a glare in Jeff’s direction. “And don’t change the subject, Jefferson. Did you even talk to Mr. and Mrs. Claus next door?”

Jeff snorts, shaking his head before returning to the pot of sauce he has simmering.  “No, I didn’t and I’m not going to.” 

“Jeff!” Eddie whines. “Your job as the approachable one of this house is to confront our neighbors when they’re annoying us.” 

“Okay, but they’re not annoying me.” 

“Well, that’s a lie. You hate Michael Buble as much as I do and I know you heard his stupid crooning voice at seven this morning like I did.”

“Okay, you’ve got me there,” Jeff sighs, turning away from the stove to face Eddie. “But I can’t tell them to lower their music! Not when they haven’t complained once about the shit you blare at all hours of the night or our Corroded practices when we have nowhere else to go.” 

If Eddie was less stubborn, maybe he’d see that Jeff has a point. But he is stubborn, so he doubles down instead. 

“That’s different.” 

“It’s really not.” 

“Fine,” Eddie shouts, throwing his hands up in defeat. The headache festering behind is eyes is too painful for him to keep arguing with Jeff. Besides, he’s never been able to push Jeff around. It’s why they make such good roommates. “Can you at least talk to them about their decorating habits then? I had to wade through a fucking forest of inflatables this afternoon. M’pretty sure Frosty the fucking Snowman almost punched my balls.” 

“Eds, need I remind you that a few days ago you had the entire place decked out for Halloween? How is a few inflatables different than all those skeletons and demon shit you had up?” 

“First of all, how dare you compare my artistry to whatever is going on outside,” Eddie scoffs. He’s going to give himself a sore throat if he keeps this up. “I have taste. My decorations told a story! Those inflatables aren’t even from the same properties. They’ve got Santa Mickey next to the fucking Grinch! Charlie Brown mingling with Yoda! There’s no plot!” 

Jeff’s shoulders slump, forearms coming to rest on the kitchen counter so he’s at eye level with Eddie. “Just look on the bright side. At least they haven’t done one of those obnoxious light shows like that stupid reality show.”

As if Jeff accidentally summoned a demon in the form of Christmas cheer, a burst of red and green floods their apartment. Their once dimly lit kitchen looks like the inside of a club, red and green lights flickering with the occasional white and blue mixed in. The flickers are timed with the beat of another Mariah Carey Christmas song. 

This is what hell must look like, Eddie thinks, as he glares at Jeff. 

“What did you do?” 

“I didn’t do anything,” Jeff defends, hands up in surrender. 

Eddie can seem him struggling not to laugh and it takes all the energy he can muster not to reach around the counter and playfully punch his shoulder. How can Jeff think this is funny? The flickering lights completely goes against their moody aesthetic! Not to mention it’s a health hazard! There’s no way Gareth is going to be able to come over here — not with the way he’s so sensitive to strobes. 

Jesus H. Christ and it’s only November 25th! He has to put up with this for weeks! 

“It’s not funny, Jefferson!” 

“I mean,” Jeff snorts, biting the inside of his cheek to keep his smile from growing. “It’s a little funny.” 

🎅🏼 🎄 🤬 🎅🏼 🎄 🤬 🎅🏼 🎄 🤬 🎅🏼 🎄 🤬 🎅🏼 🎄 🤬 🎅🏼 🎄 🤬 🎅🏼 🎄 🤬 🎅🏼 🎄 🤬

The lights have not fucking stopped. Not for one single day. Eddie had hoped his neighbors would have grown tired of the constant strobing and Christmas music by now. But nope. A week and a half and its still going strong. 

He’s going to lose his goddamn mind. 

“Jeff,” Eddie hisses, lifting the blanket of his makeshift fort enough that he can make eye contact with Jeff. Or at least, try to. Jeff’s perched in their recliner with the biggest pair of sunglasses Eddie’s ever seen. “Please. I can’t take much more of this!” 

“It’s not that bad.” 

“I might have believed you if you weren’t wearing those ridiculous things,” Eddie snorts. He waits for Jeff to retort but when he doesn’t, he groans and slowly emerges from the safety of his blanket fort. Christ he forgot how bright those damn things are. 

Stalking over to their small entryway, Eddie hastily tugs on a pair of boots and reaches for the doorknob. 

“What are you doing?” Jeff asks, voice laden with concern. 

“Someone has to confront the neighbors!” 

He doesn't give him time to respond, yanking the door open and slamming it shut behind him in one fluid movement. It should be a short trip to the neighbor's front door, just a few long strides, but Eddie forgets to account for the fuckton of inflatables cluttering the path. He ducks around Frosty, flipping him off when his stupid wood arms nearly deck his balls, again and forcibly shoves Mickey’s face away from him. 

It takes another bit of carefully navigating before he finally reaches the front door adorned with a festive wreath. These people really left no spot undecorated. Eddie doesn’t spare them the decency of a nice, neighborly knock or ring of the doorbell. They’re way past that. Instead, he makes a fist and slams his knuckles into the wood door, and keeps going. Knock. Knock. Knockknockknock. 

They probably can’t hear him over the damn music, Eddie thinks, as his knuckle turns redder and redder. Just when he’s about to retreat and face Jeff’s smug wrath, the door opens. 

The first thought that passes through Eddie’s mind is oh, he’s hot. The second, more vital thought, comes a moment later. He’s going to kill Jeff. How dare he not disclose how attractive this guy is the minute he met him months ago? 

The guy, who Eddie vaguely thinks is named Steve, looks just as surprised to see him as he is. Decked out in an obnoxious Santa-themed apron and green plaid flannel pants, his cheeks are spotted with flour and his hands are stained a faint red color. Judging from the delicious aroma of vanilla and peanut butter wafting into the hallway, Eddie interrupted some very serious baking. 

“Oh, you’re not the Instacart shopper,” maybe Steve frowns. “Can I help you?” 

“Oh, uh,” Eddie trails off. He’s here for a reason, he knows this, but his mind is blank. Distracted by the smells and the lights and the gorgeous fucking man standing in front of him with hazel eyes so sparkly Eddie’s pretty sure he belongs in a cartoon. “I’m Eddie, your neighbor.” 

I’m Eddie, your neighbor? 

This cannot be the same brain that creates intricate, plot twist-ridden campaigns that last months. Absolutely not.

“Ah, so you’re Jeff’s roommate! It’s nice to finally meet you. I’m Steve.” 

“Right, Steve” Eddie nods. He’s not sure why he nods, it’s not a normal thing to do when you meet someone, and yet, he can’t stop nodding. Stop fucking nodding! 

“So, uh, what brings you by?” Steve asks, casually leaning against the doorframe. 

“Oh, I uh…” The lights. You were coming here to complain about the lights! “I came to tell you, uh… I could smell you baking!” Oh my fucking god. “You know these walls are thin and we, uh, share AC vents or something I think? So the smell was filling our place and it smelled so good I just, uh, had to come over and see what you’re baking?” 

If Jeff was here, Eddie’s pretty sure he’d be two seconds away from collapsing in a fit of laughter. Thank god he’s not. As soon as he gets back to his room, he’s going to take a lukewarm shower and try to forget this entire interaction ever happened and then hide from Steve for the rest of his life. 

“Oh, I’m making peanut butter cookies.” Steve’s smile is almost as blinding as the twinkling lights and like a moth to a flame, Eddie can’t look away. “One of my students has been having a rough time and they’re their favorite.”

“Damn, maybe if I had a teacher who baked me cookies I would have done better in school.” 

Steve laughs, “Tell me about it. Actually, uh, do you want to help? I’m allergic to peanut butter and my best friend is tied up at work. I could really use a taste tester. Make sure they’re edible.” 

“Oh, uh…” Eddie glances over his shoulder and takes in the sight of the sea of inflatables staring at him with their beady painted on eyes, squints at the obnoxious flashing lights keeping time to a terrible cover of “Jingle Bell Rock.” Together it’s the reminder he needs as to why he trekked over here in the first place, but when he turns he’s hit with a punch of peanut butter and well… “Not to toot my own horn, but I am a pretty good taste tester.” 

“Perfect,” Steve smiles, pushing himself off the doorframe. “Kitchen’s this way.” 

🎅🏼 🎄 🤬 🎅🏼 🎄 🤬 🎅🏼 🎄 🤬 🎅🏼 🎄 🤬 🎅🏼 🎄 🤬 🎅🏼 🎄 🤬 🎅🏼 🎄 🤬 🎅🏼 🎄 🤬

Eddie returns an hour later. Belly full of joy just peanut butter cookies, but also chocolate chip, and gingerbread, and some cinnamon concoction that had him considering a marriage proposal on the spot and a tupperware overflowing with said cookies. 

Jeff is still in the living room, sunglasses shielding his eyes, but Eddie knows him well enough to know he’s judging him. 

“Don’t say a word,” Eddie sneers, heading straight for the kitchen. 

[nocompassnosign]

share what clicked about chloe or sam bestie!!

ok so full disclosure this is just how i see it based on vibes, listening to it an extreme amount of times and forcing myself to meditate on it because it was driving me crazy more so than any other song on the album.

the first thing that i could not figure out but that felt very important was the title name. i just think that taylor is either very specific with title names or the name is the name for obvious reasons (main phrase in the chorus). and i believe she went with the very long and demanding to be questioned title because it summarizes the song in that all those names are each different individuals and it doesn't necessarily matter who they are but just that they are separate people, so i think the song is also about multiple individuals and it doesn't matter who they really are what matters is they are all people she's loved or cared deeply for and that ultimately didn't work out BUT what if....

which brought me to the conclusion that the song is basically just the entire thesis of midnights wrapped into one song. why did these old relationships end? it keeps her up in the middle of the night until she sees phantoms of things that never were. in the third verse she even references midnights by saying scarlet maroon and by asking multiple questions...?

i also think the song is very reminiscent of what we've learned through the vaults which is that taylor knows when something is love and doesn't understand why her partner can't also see it. so she states 'if you want to break my cold cold heart just say "i loved you the way that you were"' it's painful to think wow maybe i didn't need to reinvent myself after every relationship ended to be a "better girl" maybe they really did love me all along and had their own issues for why they couldn't tell me.

i’ve already made this too long but i could truly go line by line and interpret how this song is just midnights summarized. i think the verses represent different people she's loved and i think the bridge represents the what if and the knowledge that we can never change what we missed out on so i guess we can just pretend it would have been magical. "you could break me open if you just tell me you really did love me then, and you do still think about it" it's sad in a way where she feels this is her legacy, forever being the one that got away.

[colesluvr]

HI!!

I would like to request a Jay x male! reader where the reader is a singer and likes to write little love songs about Jay but he would never know the songs are about him,,

then one day the reader releases a new album and it's called "Your Blue Eyes." and then the reader just uses some more hints abt Jay like his brunette hair, something abt lightning, his freckles, EVERYTHING.

after he listened to the album, Jay is like, wait a minute. HE LIKES ME?????

Your Blue Eyes | Jay Walker X Male Reader

Your eyes scanned the arcade you left your sibling at for about 3 hours. Some sibling you are, how can I leave them there? You spoke to yourself mentally as you searched it up and down.

You had your hood over your head to make yourself less...open. Last thing you need to worry about is having a crowd sworm around you and you lose your chances on finding your little sibling.

Mother/Father's gonna kick my aaaasss. You panicked as you asked people of they have seen a little kid and described what they wore. You spoke in a different voice so you don't risk on getting attention. You already had sunglasses and your hood up, but people have sharp eyesight. You learned that the hard way.

It was hard being a famous singer at 16 years old.

You could never show people the real you.

Which is why you rarely made friends. You made a couple, but not much. You still loved them with all your heart. You never wanted to draw much attention to yourself anyways.

"S/N! S/N, I'm serious, where are you!?" You called out for the 23rd time, you lost count to be honest, but it feels like you've been searching for hours.

"And my older brother, Y/N L/N, is one of the bestest brothers I could ask for! He is a famous singer and better then whatever you all will be when your older like him!"

You heard your name and you looked to the source of it to find your little sibling surrounded by kids a year older then them. Ah, S/N! You cursed under your breath as you rush over to them.

"Ooh! Look, there he is! Y/N!" Your sibling jumped down from a chair they were sitting at and ran toward you. "Y/N! Tell these meanies that you're an amazing singer, and your songs are SLAY-" You gently slammed your hand over their mouth and grabbed them, attempting to run away.

"S/N! What did I tell you about telling strangers about my job? We don't need to start-AH!" Two screams screamed over each other. One was yours and one was...another male?

As you hit the floor with your sibling safe, you quickly tried to stand. "Im so sorry, I wasn't looking!" You help the boy with the brown locks back up to his feet. You both made eye contact and your eyes sparkled.

The boy that stood in front of you was the most handsome boy you've laid eyes upon. His hair was fluffy, his frecles were goergous, and his eyes.

They were the most beautiful.

They were a bright, electric blue, and the shined bright under the arcade lights.

"Omg, You're..." He started, "You're Y/N! Omg, I was just listening ti your music!" He fanboyed all over.

You were flicked out of your trance by your sibling, smirking up at you.

"Uh, Y-Yeah. I'm-I'm gald you enjoy i-IT." Your cheeks turned a shade of pink as you spoke to the boy. "It's amazing, dude! Uh- can-can I call you dude? I know you don't know me-"

"I'm sorry, I gotta run, uh, nice talkin'! I'll catch you later!"

Before he could respond, you ran past him and out the door with your little sibling right behind getting dragged.

Jay watched as you left.

His palms were sweaty.

He felt his cheeks get hot and his heart pound against his chest as a goofy smile formed on his face.

"Jay?" Nya called out to her friend for the third time. He yelps as he jumps and chuckled nervously.

"Hu-What?"

"Are you okay?" Nya asked, scrunching her nose as Jay nods.

"Hmmhm! Never been better....can we go now?" He whispered, poking his index fingers together.

Nya nods and the both of them leave.

-

Weeks went by.

Your mind has been racing.

Our thoughts were nothing but Jay. Jay this, Jay that. It's almost like he's taken over your mind and refuses to get out.

Later that night, you were in your room sitting at your desk. You tapped your pencil on the wood of your desk, tapping your foot to the beat as you stared at an empty piece of paper.

Staring at the sheet you've pictured Jay in your head.

His blue eyes were as bright as the ocean sea.

His brown curls were styled beautifuly.

His freckles. Oh you could talk about the all day.

Thats it.

Holy moly, that's fricking it!

-

Jay and Cole were gaming together in the Monestary. Jay was currently beating Cole in this game, causing him to get cocky.

"Jay! What the heck!" Cole yelled, seeing his character die to Jay's character. Jay giggled triumply smirking at his best friend. "Suck it, Master of Earth!"

Cole rolled his eyes and gently tossed the controller to the ground, leaving the room and to the kitchen. He left Jay alone, but a couple minutes later Kai ran in almsot knocking into the wall.

"JAYJAYJAY!"

"KAI?" Jay screamed back as Kai grabbed the remote from the Lighting Ninja's hand and handed him a phone. "Wha-?" Before he could reply, Kai threw on headphones over Jay's head and unlocked his phone.

"One, how did you get my phone? Two, how do you know my password-?"

"SHSHS! Just listen to Y/N L/N's new album. This is his first ever song for that album."

And with that, the song began to play. Jay stayed quiet and listen to the beat and the melody.

~

Verse One:

I'm scared what you, I'll say, when I say I think about you night and day

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say When I first laid eyes on you, the moment when we met You smiled, you smiled

Chorus: Your ocean blue eyes, your brown curls, your freckles To guard you and to guide you

Is almost more than I can take

Verse Two:

I just want you close

Where you can stay forever

Chorus: Your ocean blue eyes, your brown curls, your freckles And I know you love me

For I can’t help falling in love with you

~ this was so stupid im sorry :_

Jay's eyes blinked a couple of times as the song finished. He took the words and tried to think, why do those features sound so familiar. Kai removed the headphones and waited for Jay to reply, "Well?"

"I-I like the beat." Jay shurgged, unsure what Kai wanted to hear from him. "No, you dumbass! Y/N's new song is about you! Didn't you listen?" Kai started, "The ocean blue eyes, the brown hair, the freckles!?" Kai cupped Jay's cheek to prove his point.

He let go of Jay who was stunned to speak.

"Wait..." Jay began, standing to his feet forgetting all about the game he was playing. "Are you saying Y/N L/N fricking loves me? Or like, has a crush on me?"

Kai nods his head.

AS Jay watched as Kai answered his question, his face melted into a goody grin and he began to chuckle nervously. "Y/N-" He pants, "I-me. He."

Suddenly he's laughter filled the Monestary, "WAHO!!"

Kai stared at him as he ran out of the room and down the hall, running into Zane. Jay grabbed his arms and spun him around, "Jay?!" Zane cried, almost hitting the floor as Jay lets him go and ran.

Kai shook he's head, but a small smile formed on his face immediately after.

[bradpittwh0re]

faceclaim: ariana grande

pairings: brad pitt x singer!reader

warnings:fluff

wicked2024

liked by bradpitt, yourusername , y/nstan04 and 347,086 others

wicked2024 We are so excited to announce that Y/N L/N will be joining the cast of Wicked 2024 as Glinda

view all 263,907 comments

y/nfan01 we are so proud of you y/n

y/nfan02 wait she's getting back into her acting roots , mother!!!

pittfan24 brad would have to give her acting lessons cause she can’t act , love her voice tho

y/nfan03 y you such a hater she literally acted before she was a singer

y/nfan04 we don't want this we want the next album

y/nfan29 can yall stop bullying y/n to make another album

y/nfan72 she literally made 3 album in 3 years relax

hater09 stop letting singers act they always horrible

y/nstan11 she literally started off on broadway before she became an artist weirdo

bradpitt been keeping this secret for so long your going to kill it

yourusername aww thx my biggest cheerleader

bradpitt 🥰🥰

yourusername

liked by bradpitt, zendaya and 1.5m others

yourusername I can finally reveal my new hair color for the glinda

view all 732,115 comments

y/nfan62 her hair colour suits her so much

bradfan4 why she look like a skeleton

zendaya your so amazingg

y/nfan65 love her to bits but is she okay

bradfan3 probably doing ozempic

y/nfan72 she needs to eat more

bradfan18 brad should be with a real woman not a wannabe child

bradfan55 why does brad think she’s attractive , soo confused

y/nfan87 all these comments are disgusting , stop judging her body

(yourusername disabled her comments)

TMZ

iked by y/nfan14, y/nfan46 and 45,188 others

TMZ Y/n L/N has been getting backlash over new look she posted via instagram.Do you guys thinks she is on ozempic???

view all 30,274 comments

y/nstan04 i miss the old y/n

bradfan13 y/n deserves better

hater92 💀💀💀💀

bradfan22 sided eye , so obvious she is using compare her pics to early

bradpitt

liked by yourinstagram, tchalamet and 35.m others

bradpitt I dislike sharing my private life with the world. Still, when people in my personal life are getting bullied, attacked, and trashy news outlets and fans are saying untrue things, I can't just stay silent.Y/N is the kindest person ever (and the best girlfriend) and doesn't deserve any of this hatred.

But I just also wanted to say, one: There are many different kinds of beautiful. There are many different ways to look healthy and beautiful. When I looked the way you consider my healthy but that in fact wasn’t my healthy. But that’s the first thing: Healthy can look different.

The second thing is you never know what someone is going through. So even if you are coming from a loving place and a caring place, that person is probably working on it or has a support system that they are working on it with, and you never know. So be gentle with each other and with yourselves.

And thirdly, the third one’s unrelated I guess. I just wanted to extend some love your way and tell you that you’re beautiful no matter what phase you’re in. But yeah, sending you guys a lot of love, and I think you’re beautiful, no matter what you’re going through, no matter what weight, no matter how you like to do your makeup these days, no matter what cosmetic procedures you’ve had or not or anything. I just think you’re beautiful and wanted to share some feelings. Have a very beautiful day, and I’m sending you a lot of love.

(bradpitt has disabled comments)

author note - thanks for reading this was something I had done awhile a go and decide to just release something for you guys, also I'm currently editing my Sza and Rihanna works so they can be more up-to-date and relevant

[blacklight-animal-print]

possible milex "night out" references in the album:

"Tell him what you want and, baby, he can find you Anything you need, tell him what you're needing Come on, miracle aligner, go and get 'em, tiger Get down on your knees, get down on your knees again"

^ the song is about a cocaine dealer, so. There's that connotation. Also why are we getting on our knees? Something to think about.

"Ghost riders in the rat and parrot"

^ There's just so so many things about this line. It could mean a million things. First of all, we all know "Rat and Parrot" is a popular bar name, so there's that. In the genius lyrics, it mentions that "ghost riding" is the practice of having sex with a girl in the dark and then leaving sneakily so your friend can resume having sex with her in your place. So. Bad habits would also give that impression, specifically the mv (3sum vibes, ifykwim) ...

"Ghost riders" are just so sneaky. Why are we being sneaky in a bar, Milex?

"Dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley"

^ no explanation needed, I think.

"Hotel room, Holy Bible Hotel room, free love revival Baby, it's a never-ending spiral Looks a little bit like Paris"

^ this doesn't read like a night out in LA to me, per se. But this has always been the most incriminating verse on all of the album in my mind.

Just the mention of "holy bible" and "free love" together in a verse makes me think things. It feels very lgbt to me, but there's different and even more incriminating ways to think. Wikipedia defines free love as: "Free love is a social movement that accepts all forms of love. The movement's initial goal was to separate the state from sexual and romantic matters such as marriage, birth control, and adultery." So, you know. Adultery, cheating. Sexual relations in a hotel room that the government (nor anyone else) should have no say over...

And we all know the importance of France to Milex's relationship.

"I’m a liar, I’m a cheat A leech, a thief"

^ more of a stretch, but there's just more cheating imagery for you.

"Black-light animal print boogie, left in a heap"

^ Impossible to tell if this is a reference to a specific person (either Miles or Alex, since they've both worn their fair share of animal print at clubs and parties and probably got their clothes left in a heap somewhere as the night progressed). But, you know.

All of She Does the Woods is, well. More debauchery. I hold a personal theory that having sex in the woods is something Miles has done before, and then described to Alex later in great detail (based on that one tweet, which could have been an Oasis reference, could have not):

And then they wrote a song together to perform as a duet. Bro things.

...

There's more, probably. Where's that quote from that interview about how the whole album is basically about "shagging.." ? Because it is, honestly. With maybe a hint of Milex. Who can say for sure? Mostly seems like the guys were up to some devious actions that they didn't want to outwardly admit to in an interview.

text id:

It's not hard to draw the conclusion that there are tales from the tiles of the city that both now call home. Turner has lived in LA for a while now (it's home "for the foreseeable, I think"), while Kane recently moved out permanently, after a few trips which "would always extend, because the new air felt good." The pair live, Turner says, "seven minutes away from each other."

Ask them what a typical night out entails, and they look at each other, then proceed to not be very forthcoming, though Turner will eventually concede that "some of what happens in those situations is disclosed, through the veil of song, on the record. There's references."

/end id

(x)

[in-death-we-fall]

Slipknot

The Tightest Knots Never Fray

Metal Edge 48-11, March 2003

By Roger Lotring

(google drive link) Murderdolls interview here �� Stone Sour interview here

“Someone has to bring down the whore, dude,” says Shawn Crahan, determinedly addressing the soulless gluttony that has devoured integrity from contemporary music. “I’ve been all over the place,” he admits, readily likening his foregone ranting as being “almost schizophrenic, man.” But for #6—the Clown percussionist of Slipknot—the corporate impurity that desecrates his sacred rock ‘n’ roll art form pits him as the proverbial David in the face of a Goliath. “People always say Clown’s a fuckin’ retard genius,” he exhilarates. “And I say, ‘You’re right.’ I’ve taken an oath, spilled a lot of blood, and I’m part of an organization that is going to do nothing but bring down the pig.”

The challenge of Disasterpieces is the first of the slings and arrows. A turbulently intense package, the very first Slipknot DVD is largely centered around a February 2002 live performance filmed at the London Arena. A fast-paced style of editing moves conjunctively with 5.1 surround sound to overwhelm both the aural and visual senses, making for an extreme Slipknot experience. An accompanying second disc features a video history of the band, including the banned clip for “Spit It Out,” plus a previously unreleased animated version of “Wait And Bleed.” Enhanced bonus material and an exclusive audio track—”Purity”—make this DVD the gauntlet of a challenge to sedentary bands reigning over hard rock popularity. “I’ve kind of made the DVD like, ‘Look, if you’re not this good, and you don’t know what the fuck’s going on, why don’t you quit and do us all a favor?’” Moreover, Disasterpieces is an architectural draft by which metal fans can judge what to expect from their music. Nothing less will suffice anymore in a landscape of media saturated mediocrity.

“It’s the cattle thing,” Clown defines, a cultural popularity branded by lethargy. “If you’re not at the back of the pack, something in life forced you to be at the front,” he says, intimating music fans as an order of natural selection. “There’s probably a chance for everyone, but it means we’re going to have to go, ‘Hey, you guys at the back of the pack, they’re going to eat you, do you understand?’” It’s what he calls an education. “That’s what Disasterpieces is,” he says by comparison, something by which metal fans can decipher the natural order of musical innovation.

Metal Edge sat down on a Saturday afternoon for an intense conversation with Clown about Disasterpieces, as well as his perspective on the Stone Sour and Murderdolls branches of the Slipknot family tree. “I used to talk about unity and pushing forward,” he concedes, noting that, “I think Slipknot did that to the point that we don’t need to anymore. Now, it’s obvious all of us are looking for our insides. We are trying to evolve Slipknot. All of us need to fuckin’ find some stuff for ourselves,” he explains, assuring diehard Slipknot fans that “they ain’t got nothing to worry about. Let the Maggots know it’s all coming for ‘em. We’re not getting older, we’re getting better.”

METAL EDGE: Is the Disasterpieces DVD meant as a means of focusing attention on Slipknot in the interim before a new album? SHAWN CRAHAN: Most people in the world have to realize that we, the band, have been doing this for seven years. We’ve been doing it professionally, nonstop, for four years. We just got to the point where we understand what home is. So, everybody’s kind of doing their own thing right now—which is totally cool with everybody in the band—because we need time. The third album is coming, right around the corner, and we know it’s going to be different. No one has to be worried about anything drastically changing, ‘cause we’re pretty focused on what we need to be. However, the third one, I think it’s gonna be a really crazy, weird, all-out war. Every member is gonna bring who he is to the table, with all the experience he’s downloaded for the last seven years. This DVD was never intended to let people know that we were alright or whatever. It’ll run its course for two or three months, and we’re starting to write the new album in January—not all of us, but people are gonna fall into place as need be. But, like I said, man, this new album’s gonna be completely insane, as far as I’m concerned.

ME: Would it be fair to say that this DVD almost closes a chapter of Slipknot? SC: I’ve been getting into a lot of trouble lately, because I’ve been telling people that it ends an era. And I don't care what anyone says about it, it ends an era. I’m not interested—the Clown is not interested—in using goats anymore. I’m not interested in half the shit that’s on our stage. Have I talked about this with everyone else? No. But I do a lot of that stuff, and I’m just not interested in the Iowa show no more. I mean, I’m done, I’m bored, and it’s over with. The DVD captured it as best as we could. There were over ten thousand people, over twenty-one cameras, and it was just pure mayhem. You got the most of the show that we could do, that we did for Iowa for over a year.

ME: But isn’t that the point? Why continue doing the Iowa show? It wasn’t meant to be forever, it was meant to be that album. SC: Right, I think people just think that we’re breaking up, or something stupid like that. But no, it’s absolutely the end of an era, get fucking used to it! People change. Fourteen-year-old fans that were there [when] we came out, they’re eighteen now. We’re changing, too, and if no one likes it, fuck off.

ME: You mentioned that this project consisted of a multiple camera shoot, comprising a double DVD. When the idea was first conceived, was it readily apparent that it was going to be so intensive? SC: I knew what was going to happen. I came up with the idea of so many cameras, and the reason was, before, we had only a couple that would film the band. I would just pretty much almost shoot myself, every time we got something in, ‘cause I was so disappointed. Great, you got footage of Sid jumping in the crowd, but what about Joey’s excellent footwork? Where’s all the angles? So, I knew we were going to have a monster. They were talking about one disc, but I knew it would be literally impossible. There’s over four thousand edits in the show itself, and that just takes a lot of information for a computer to recognize.

ME: But with a band like Slipknot, and what it does onstage, you almost have to do it the way Disasterpieces was done, because if you’re at the show, visually, there’s so much going on. SC: That’s how I edited the whole thing with Phil [Richardson]. We edited it like we were in the front row. The reason why I was so excited about being able to do this project was, just like you said, yes, it moves very fast. But how is it moving? Is it moving out-of-control, or is it literally going Clown… Chris… joey… Mick… Sid… Paul… Jim… Mick… Clown… Sid—Ya’ know what I mean? That’s what it’s doing. You’re literally getting to see the chaos as it’s being done. Yeah, it moves very quick, but so does Slipknot. [Laughing] This is for kids to identify with what the fuck exactly goes on at a Slipknot show—Who starts what, who’s playing where, and what they’re doing while they’re doing it. This is all about cues, and the only way to do it right is to do it quickly. Plus, I don’t make anything for the weak, dude. I am here to cleanse the weak away from the idea known as Slipknot. I only want people that understand, because after they take it all in, they’re teachers. And they’ll go out and start molding the future. I’ve kind of made this DVD like, ‘Look, if you’re not this good, why don’t you quit now and do us all a favor?’ That’s how angry I am at the music scene. I understand music has to move, but I’ve never felt so sorry for people listening to music right now, ‘cause it’s fucking crap! Nu Metal? Garbage! It’s garbage, dude! It is! If you know you’re a nu metal band, you’re fucking garbage, end of story. This DVD is about real music, real players—there’s not one musical overdub in the whole thing. What you hear is what happened that night. The only thing that was done, I believe, was in the beginning of “Purity,” because the pyro blew up a couple of the mics. I don’t know any bands that can go through an hour-and-a-half of intensive, dead-on musicianship as we do. I pride myself very, very much to be honored in a band in such good company, ‘cause we’re all incredible musicians, and we make it fly.

ME: So it’s fair to say that this DVD is a challenge to any other band out there right now? If you can’t live up to this… SC: …If you can’t live up to this, why are you even bullshitting? I’ve been on tour with bands that suck. And I’m looking at 'em like, ‘You got a record deal? You’re getting a chance to change the world? Who signed you, some fuckin’ dork? Some idiot over at some big company that knows the formula?’ Man, they’re all losers, dude. Record people get a formula of something that works—Just take Slipknot, for example. Look at all the little fashion statements that have been started, because a band like Slipknot works. Most of the idiots that sign bands because of us are people that said no to Slipknot. I could call four people out from every label. The industry’s a fuckin’ joke, dude! I’m in rock ‘n’ roll, and I’ve never been so embarrassed to be a part of something in my entire life. But it doesn’t matter, dude, ‘cause Slipknot’s there. That’s what we stand for, and that’s what we break down.

ME: Isn’t that a cue, then, with your band being a leader within the rock genre, to throw a monkey wrench into it and make a total left turn? SC: I think so. I never sit here and intend to break the rules. I go, ‘This is the band I’m in.’ The whole time I was editing the DVD, I said, ‘Oh my God, I’m in that band! Yeah, I’m getting to design this, and the whole idea of the DVD is mine, but holy fuck, that’s me in the band! I’m in this band!’

ME: It’s a little surreal, isn’t it? SC: Oh, it’s completely surreal, man! I am so honored to be in the company of eight dudes that fuckin’ throw down. We throw down, man, and I’m proud of it. And I’m not gonna sit back like other people in the band—Everybody would be humble. I don’t care anymore! If your band isn’t this good, then you suck! I’m tired of all the political bullshit, all the bands making fun of us, talking shit. Well, guess what? All your bands suck. None of you could do what we do. I’ve watched all of you, and it doesn’t happen. You come short.

ME: It’s like the early days of KISS, when they would be ridiculed, and then blow other bands off the stage. Nobody would be laughing afterward. SC: We’re actually now managed by KISS’ manager. And we’ve talked a couple stories, ‘cause I play music because of KISS. That was my introduction to music. In the early stages, no one knew what they looked like, and people used to flip out. And I was thinking, goddamn, that sounds a lot like Slipknot!

ME: Watching Disasterpieces, everybody’s faces have been carefully obscured to preserve that mystique. But is the marketing necessity of Murderdolls and Stone Sour detrimental to Slipknot? Joey, Corey and Jim have all been unmasked. SC: I don’t know how to answer that, man. I love Joey, Corey and Jim—As I love everybody in the band. However, things have changed now, and they’re the only ones that have to live with that. And they’re the ones that have to be responsible for that. It is what it is, man, but I don’t think it matters. Joey and Corey and Jim have found another extension of themselves, okay, and I want to clear it up. Corey is a genius. He writes all the time, all day long. I got notebooks that he’s just left laying around, full of conceptual pieces. Some belong to Slipknot, some belong to Corey Taylor. There’s things he won’t even bring to Slipknot, because it’s not the ‘Knot. And no one knows that better than Corey. Think about what he did, man. I mean, he takes the mask off—You know how hard that was? And he did it, and he’s succeeding. And I say, good for him, because that’s what Slipknot stands for. Recently, I said we’re the biggest punk band in the world. I didn’t mean like we’re a punk band, [but] I mean we live the punk feeling. We’re the biggest metal band in the world, and I got three dudes trouncing around the world without masks, succeeding, okay? That’s exactly what Slipknot is.

ME: Meaning that Slipknot is at the point where it can fly in the face of convention and do whatever it likes. SC: I think what we’ve always preached, if we’ve preached anything, is to thyself be true. Don’t ever judge me, just let me do my fucking thing. We’re Slipknot. We stand up and teach kids to stand up! Fight for who you are! Be who you are, don’t worry about it. And now, my own members are like, ‘I gotta do this.’ They go up against all odds and break down all the fuckin’ walls. And they look everybody in the face with their real face, after relying on rubber masks for fucking years? People need to shut up. Fucking ignorance, man! I don’t care what any of ‘em say, we do what we want.

ME: Isn’t that the fundamental basis of being in rock ‘n’ roll to begin with? SC: Yeah! You got Slipknot, now you got the Murderdolls, you got Stone Sour—I will bet my left testicle, there will be other things. Who knows? Every member of the band might have its own entity, and then get together as Slipknot. Oh, some might suck, some might be good. But the point is, what do you do with your life? Most people that have an opinion, aren’t you just cattle being programmed with the imprint? I’m ready for this whole thing to change, man. I’m ready for the pictures in your magazine to change color; I’m ready for people to start talking about things they want, instead of their editors. I’m ready for bands to start telling the truth and lift the veil of rock ‘n’ roll, instead of all this bullshit.

ME: Have you listened to either the Stone Sour or Murderdolls albums yet? SC: Oh, yeah. I listened to the Murderdolls by myself—Joey gave me the copy. When we’re on the road, we’re both very, very busy, and we don’t have a lot of Shawn and Joe time. But Corey, when we were in Europe last time, we both happened to be up very early in the morning, and we were on a long drive. I got to listen to the whole Stone Sour album with Corey. Sitting there with the creator of it, somehow I understood all of it and knew where he was going. I even told him what his next single after “Bother” would be.

ME: Their exploration of musical direction will be invigorating when working on a new Slipknot album. That’s going to be the most positive effect on what the band comes up with, creatively. SC: Yeah. I would have used to have told you that I’d have my people take your head off with that explanation, but I agree with you now. I mean, dude, we’ve been going for four fucking years. Only now can I say thank you to the rest of the guys for allowing ourselves to be home and figure it out. And let me tell you, the three years before being signed—Pure hell. You want to see the evolvement of Slipknot? It took fuckin’ years. I used to wear a Barney outfit. One weekend, I’d be Barney, the next, I’d be a priest. Mick would be Little Bo Peep—Look at Mick, almost seven foot tall, in a Little Bo Peep outfit, slamming with a bonnet on.

ME: But that makes sense, because it wouldn’t have worked if it was something formulated. SC: No! I’ll be honest, man, I hurt some feelings when those guys did that. I hurt some serious feelings. I think people are still angry at me, ya’ know? And that’s cool. I don’t give a fuck. So what? [Laughing] But I take the responsibility of Slipknot hardcore, man. We gave these kids with nothing, something. They were the ones that were so far gone, they were like, I’m outta here, I’m gonna kill myself. Boom—Slipknot comes alone. I’ve had kids wear Slipknot shirts—you know how they are when they wear Slipknot shirts—it’s like a fucking army. They’ll wash it every day, to wear it every day. It lets other kids now (sic) what kind of kid they are. It’s a mentality. That kid is basically telling us where he’s at, by wearing that statement. That’s why I get so nuts, [and] why people are mad at me. Slipknot’s come to a point where—we know we’re a band, dude—but we’ve become icons of responsibility in the world we live in. I try to live my words, man. I try to be really, really responsible.

[petruchio]

guts ranking part 2 (bonus tracks)

me when i hit the character limit and tumblr says. SHUT UP! but here are my bonus track rankings:

13. obsessed - A GREAT SONG!! oh it's so clever and fun and haven't we all felt this way about our ex's ex?? i loooove the way she delivers "i can't help it i've got ISSUES" and i think the internal rhyme of obsessed and ex is a really catchy hook and i love the chorus. i think this was a great bonus track, i know people said it should've been on the standard edition but i actually think it works better as a bonus track. my one beef with this song actually is that i don't like the music video. i don't understand why it doesn't have more of a story, i feel like this song could've had such a great video with a great narrative (maybe olivia is, like, stalking the ex and trying to imitate everything she does but she plays both roles or something? i guess that might be too similar to deja vu but i feel like the obsessed mv just doesn't feel interesting enough because it's just random clips cut together with performance shots. i wanted more from this video. it was good but i wanted it to be great.)

14. girl i've always been - C i'm sorry i find this song extremely juvenile. it sounds like the kind of song you write when you're like 13 and you want to be the next taylor swift but you don't actually have anything to say. i don't like the vocals, i think the lyrics are all pretty cliche and boring, i really just don't think this needed to be released. if it was one of her instagram videos i think it would be super cute but i just don't think it is album worthy even as a bonus track. plus it's so short it just feels half baked anyway. i think it should've stayed in the drafts.

15. scared of my guitar - C+ i also don't like this song. i don't know it just doesn't do it for me at all. it's not catchy, the metaphor/concept doesn't interest me and similarly to giab it just doesn't feel like it's done. i'll say it, i think teardrops on my guitar does a much better job of integrating the concept of songwriting into the lyrics in a way that feels natural whereas this one just feels cheesy and underdone to me. (and even olivia herself has done better at fourth wall breaks, for example in "can't think of a third line" or "i hate every song i write" -- like those are so much better and well integrated than this song, so i just find this song to be... not that good.) i added a + to the grade for the line "stringing you along" though because i think it's clever.

16. stranger - A I LIKE THIS SONG!! i saw someone saying it felt musically similar to her stick season cover and that the sort of folk/rock influence works really well with her voice and i was like YES! i love her rock delivery but i think her vocal timbre really shines on the more stripped back folksy sounds (see also: my love for can't catch me now) and i think this is an example where the concept of the song is good and she does it really nicely. it's also catchy and can't overstate how much i love "you're just SOME. GUY." this is a really good song in my opinion.

17. so american - B+ this song feels almost exactly like all american bitch to me in that i'm like, it's GOOD! i don't buy it as authentic to her though. like it just sounds like "olivia rodrigo does 90s gwen stefani" which she does WELL but it just feels a little too self-conscious. and the studio chatter at the end actually really bothers me in this song, when i heard the ending i was like ok no dan nigro, STOP. it was cute a couple times but like cut it out. just play the song. but i do like the way that the album opens with all AMERICAN bitch and then the bonus edition closes with so AMERICAN like what can i say, i'm a sucker for a callback and an album that tells a complete story. i like that it's the first true love song we've gotten officially released from olivia and it feels like a bright light that illuminates the way forward after all the pain and insecurity on GUTS and so i APPRECIATE it, and i do think it's cute and catchy, it's just not a 100% slam dunk for me. but it's good.

[three--rings]

In music, sophomore albums (i.e. second albums) are generally seen as very tricky and often disappointing.

Because a band/artist has their entire lives up until their first album to write those songs, to perfect them, to play them live, and then they get an opportunity and make an album and put the very best of themselves into their first album.

And then, if that is a success, they get to make a second album, and they have a very limited time under pretty significant pressure to produce album #2, and it almost invariably feels disappointing. Less polished, the songs are more bland, not every one is a banger, etc. Because they were basically the first draft of the first songs that the artist came up with to fill an album.

And a lot of the time, artists learn from that mistake, and decide they need to take more time for their next one, be more selective, have a better plan, or figure out a new way of working to produce quality in this new environment of Being a Successful Professional Musician.

So I think a lot of seasoned music fans, when presented with a lackluster sophomore album are like, well, let's give them time and see what they produce next time and only then will we decide if their first album was a fluke or not.

Why am I thinking about this? Come on, if you follow me, you probably have guessed I'm thinking about OFMD.

Because that's exactly what OFMD s2 feels like to me. A lackluster sophomore record.

The first outing was spectacular, really blew me away with a new sound, unexpected mashups of genres, satisfying themes...

But the second one felt rushed and pressured and like it hadn't finished cooking. It hadn't had enough time with the songs being played and having the rough edges rounded off, the empty spaces filled in. It felt a little like a jumble of vaguely good ideas thrown together without a cohesive through-line or thematic elements tying it together. A collection of demos, not a well thought-out album of strong songs.

And look, don't ask me to fully flesh out this metaphor. I don't know how it applies to making television exactly, because I don't really know that much about how to make tv. Did the writers really have more time to plan out S1 than S2 or was it purely the reduction in episodes and budget that hurt things. Was it the pressure of following up something quite successful that nevertheless got cut budget from the network? IDK.

But this is how it feels.

I don't hate OFMD now. But I am perhaps less inclined to call the people behind it geniuses. Because they've proven themselves very fallible and capable of producing kinda a hot mess. But they can still pull it back with a third album that reminds you why you fell in love with the first one.

Or they can prove they were hacks and that was a fluke. It's up in the air. IMO.

And it kinda depends on how they handle making something that isn't universally popular. How they can handle criticism. Can they be honest with themselves and say "yeah that was rushed and sloppy and I see why people didn't love it" or are they gonna pretend it was fucking genius actually because it sounded better in their head.

And hopefully we'll get a chance to find out. But unfortunately TV is harder to get made than records, so you get fewer chances.

[astrangetorpedo]

Catching Up with Lucy Dacus and Fenne Lily

by Lucy Dacus | 11/13/20

Lucy Dacus is a Richmond, Virginia-based singer-songwriter and one-third of the folk supergroup boygenius; Fenne Lily is Bristol, UK-based singer-songwriter whose album BREACH was released in September by Dead Oceans. For this phone call, the two friends set out to dive deep on their recent dreams, and ended up taking in much, much more.

— Annie Fell, Talkhouse Senior Editor

Fenne: Before this call, I was just looking you up. Is that weird?

Lucy: You were listening to my music?

Fenne: Yeah!

Lucy: That’s so funny, I was listening to your music. “I, Nietzsche.”

Fenne: [Laughs.] You actually were one of the many reasons why I broke up with the guy that that song is about.

Lucy: Oh, my god, I didn’t like him at all.

Fenne: Do you remember? It was literally the first time I met you, pretty much, or maybe the second time. I was with him and he tried to pull me out of the conversation because he wanted to go home or something — probably to read Nietzsche. And you were like, “Don’t touch my girl like that.” And I was like, Lucy Dacus just called me her girl, and I need to leave this boy. [Laughs.]

Lucy: I felt quickly defensive of you. We had hardly met, but he was just acting so brutish. It was like, Damn, who is this guy? It was so brutish that I thought maybe you didn’t even know him, but then you were like, “No, I’m actually with him.”

Fenne: Yeah, he’s been inside me. [Laughs.] I mean, you’re someone who makes good decisions, so you’re probably not going to answer this with a yes, but have you ever been with someone that you’re like, “I can’t believe that I gave them my body, and my heart.”

Lucy: Yeah, I am easily disgusted by the idea of some of the people that I used to really have tenderness for. But then I realize, that was not a bad quality, to be able to find good things about a bad person. Even that’s tough, to call someone just a straight up bad person, but someone that I really don’t like now, I try not to be like, I’m such an idiot. That was just a part of growing, realizing that just because they have a couple good qualities doesn’t mean that they have to be my life partner.

Fenne: Yeah, I mean, I like to think of the really bad relationships I’ve been in as, like, an exercise in compassion, to an extent where now retrospectively I can see that they were manipulating me. But at the time, I was so ready to be like, You’re just an injured soul and you need a safe place, and I can be that place. But that should only be for a time. And I think I’ve definitely seen people in those relationships for a long time and it starts wearing away at them, and the way that you see yourself like personally. So as much it’s a practice in being able to see past someone’s bad qualities, I know that there’s a cutoff point for that. But yeah, thanks for protecting me. [Laughs.]

Lucy: Yeah, I think that was actually after I went through my long, drawn out, like, worst relationship. And I think that since then, I’ve been overly defensive probably. Or I just love my friends so much that I feel like nobody deserves them, and I’m just like, and I’m just like, “Go away!” to most people that my friends date. That’s not totally true, but it’s like a recurring feeling. But yeah, I hardly knew you so I was probably overstepping a bound by trying to defend you.

Fenne: It made my heart soar, and I honestly felt safe. But you have that lyric that goes, “You don’t deserve what you don’t respect,” and I always kind of thought that you were singing about yourself, but maybe you’re singing generally about people that you love also.

Lucy: Yeah, I definitely thought it about other people first, because it’s easier to defend other people than yourself. And then I realize, I should take my own advice, but I’m still not so good at that. But I think I’m better at it.

Fenne: Do you ever find yourself writing yourself as a character so that you can make clearer judgments on your own shit? Like, do you ever make yourself the third person so you can be like, “Lucy should do this.”

Lucy: A lot of people I know great as a character, but I have no such self-control. I definitely wish that I could write it as an exercise, but writing often just feels sort of like throwing up. You know what I mean? All of a sudden it’s just there, and you don’t necessarily want it to be there, an inconvenience. And I don’t really know what I’m saying until the song is written. Like, I would really love to be able to say, like, Oh, I’d like to process this event in my life, or this thought, — I will make art about it. But that has never been a skill. I feel like all my songs start as subconscious vomit.

Fenne: I agree. I thought you were going to go the opposite direction, because as a person, you seem like someone who thinks before they speak and considers the weight and the repercussions of what they’re saying. So it’s interesting that your process doesn’t reflect what I see in your character, in that sense.

Lucy: I think it’s easier to talk to other people than to myself. I think that I carry a weight of, like, you know, say-what-you-mean when I’m talking to other people, but I don’t have a practice of talking like that to myself. So it’s just kind of forced upon me sometimes, that I end up talking to myself through writing a song. Is that how you write? Do you actually sit down and say, “I’m going to write about this,” and then you write a song about what you intend to write about?

Fenne: No, I have very little foresight or planning or structure to any part of my life, and it is definitely affecting the way I work. I literally get to the point where I haven’t written in so long that I’m furious at myself for not doing anything. And I sit down, and it is like word vomit. I’m like, Something’s coming out, I’m just going to let it happen, because if I don’t, it might never happen again. And often, I’m writing and I don’t know why I’m writing from the perspective I’m writing from.

At the moment I am in a relationship that I am really comfortable in, and he makes me feel brilliant most of the time, I still feel these inexplicable periods of sadness that almost make me feel guilty, because he obviously sees me going through this and maybe thinks it’s a reflection on him. And often those are the feelings that come out when I’m writing. I think it’s a hangover from being a kid and being unable to talk about how I feel to my family, despite the fact that they’re really emotionally intelligent people and completely up fo talking about feelings, I was almost rebelling against that. So I started writing at that time because I literally couldn’t get out my feelings in any other way. I feel like I still do that, where I’m subconsciously storing up fuel to then speak to myself about songs, rather than having to vocalize it in words. So it’s never a case of being like, I’m gonna write a song about global warming — although now that I’ve said that, maybe I should do that. [Laughs.]

Lucy: I feel like it’s really rare to write about topical things and have it actually be good. I have some family members who are just like, “You should really write a song about everything that’s going on in these uncertain times!” And I’m just like, no. I just feel like my perspective isn’t necessary — just, like, as a white person, I simply don’t need to be taking up space. I’m grateful I have a platform that I can put other voices onto, with the literal easiest thing ever of resharing things.

But yeah, I think it could be useful for you to do a song about global warming, I hope you end up writing one. That’d be awesome. But don’t be tacky — it’s weird to be like, Oh, this is topical. It just it ends up feeling really tacky, I think, as a listener.

Fenne: I think to an extent, everything that I’ve written during this pandemic situation… I haven’t written a lot, I’ve feeling really unconnected to myself, and the world, and feeling really weird. But in a sense, everything that you’re writing is about the fucked up stuff that’s going on, even if it’s not directly preaching. I feel like the way you and I write is naturally diaristic, and doesn’t feel completely separate from the stuff that’s going on. You’re quite a permeable person emotionally, I think, and I definitely am. It’s inescapable that outside stuff is inevitably going to become part of the material, even if you if you don’t say, “Trump” and “Brexit” and the whole thing.

But you’re right. I mean, I’m dreading next year when all these quarantine albums come out, where all the songs are going to be called like, “Masked and Alone,” and “My Wifi’s Too Slow.” Have you been writing a lot during this period, or have you been feeling a bit dead?

Lucy: I actually have been writing a lot because, I think I end up writing to escape the present and to not think about the future. I feel like most of my creative life comes from the past. Thinking about the future is scary and living in the present is scary, and the past is certain, it can’t be changed. It’s static. I journal, so I’ve been rereading my journals and kind of remembering some emotional things that I haven’t really put to rest yet, and so that’s just kind of ending up being what I’m writing about right now. And then I might write about what’s happening in the year 2020 in, like, 2025. Do you ever have a dialogue about where you’re writing about something like many years after?

Fenne: Yeah, 100 percent. This record that I just released, when I first started writing for it, it [was] really important for me to reflect the growth that I feel I’ve experienced since the first album came out. That was kind of my first thing — I was like, I need to almost prove that I changed, if not just to myself, to people that are listening to the music.

And then as I started writing, there was a lot of stuff coming up. I was having these conversations with my mum about why I always feel angry rather than sad as my go-to feeling, and how I always feel panicky very fast. And she was telling me that when I was born, I didn’t have that big intake of breath that normal births provide — I was a cesarean, I just got cut out — and she was like, “For the first year of the life, you were crying if you weren’t held and you were always in pain and your spine was all weird and you just were not comfortable in your skin.” That was so interesting to hear that, because I genuinely feel like I haven’t really changed that much from how I came into the world. I definitely think there’s something to be said for your entrance into the world influencing how you exist in that world. So as much as I’m like, I really want to write about being 21, I feel like I also want to talk about being two again. It wasn’t a conscious thing, but it happened.

But you’re right about the past, it isn’t going to change, and thinking about the future is really scary, especially when — I don’t know how the rules are changing in the states, but especially here, it’s like we’re being run by children. It’s like “You can do what you want! Oh, no, those people died. Well, that’s a shit. Maybe we should stay inside again. Oh, no, that hasn’t worked.” No one knows what’s going on and to even try and get your head around what it’s going to be like in a week or year is impossible. And that makes you feel powerless, and then that makes

Lucy: Have you been having any of weird dreams during lockdown?

Fenne: The first couple of weeks I didn’t have any dreams. I think I was still in a state of shock, where I was like, This doesn’t feel normal. I almost [felt] like when you smoke too much weed, and your waking mind is going crazy, and then when you go to sleep, your body’s like, I literally can’t do it any more crazy anymore.

That was my brain for a while, but then come week three or four, I started having terrifying — like, not even apocalyptic dreams, just dreams when nothing was right. I had those, like. “running on the spot trying to get away from something but I couldn’t,” just really visceral, realistic horror dreams. I don’t know when they stopped, but it was dark for a bit. What about you?

Lucy: I think similarly in the beginning, I wasn’t having a lot of dreams. I did have this one dream about me and a lot of friends touring this big, kind of mansion-like house that was furnished. And they were like, “Oh, look, there’s a room over here, I found a new room!” And we were all just running around, like, laughing and loving this huge house. So I woke up and I was like, You know what, I’m just going to get on Zillow and see if there’s a big place that I could just fit my fantasy into. And there was this place that was listed, like, three days prior, and it looked so similar to the house of my dream. So I called my friends that were in the dream and I was like, “Hey, do you want to move in together? I just had this dream and I found this house and we were all in it together.” And that actually happened in July, like I live in the house with the people that were in the dream

Fenne: Oh, my god, that’s amazing.

Lucy: Did you feel you were psychic ever?

Fenne: Stupid stuff, like I predicted my brother’s birth. I was sitting with my mom on the stairs of old house, and I was, like, one and a half or two. I was like, “It’s going to be a brother, I think,” or something like that. And she was like, “What are you talking about?” And I put my hand on her tummy and said, “It’s going to be a brother, but it’s a sister I had in mind.” And she was like, “That was weird,” and then she went to get a pregnancy test and she was a month pregnant.

Lucy: Oh, wow. I thought you were saying like, “My mom was pregnant, so I predicted that she would have a baby.”

Fenne: No, like straight up, she had no idea.

Lucy: That’s much more impressive.

Fenne: She didn’t tell me for a long time — maybe until I was 15 I didn’t know, because she was like, “I don’t want to give her false power, I don’t want her to think that everything she has a feeling about is going to happen.”

But I think I go through certain areas where I get a bad feeling and try and squash it if I don’t know anything about it, and then it’s proven to me that I was right. I moved into this really spooky house… when I first moved to Bristol I was in shared houses, and then I was like, I really want a place to live with a couple of friends. We were looking somewhere and we, in the process, got kicked out of our existing houses, so we had to rush finding a place. We settled on this house that was enormous and really cheap, and we didn’t know why it was so cheap but we didn’t really think about it.

When we first went to view it, I was like, This feels wrong. Something about the energy of this house is not nice. It doesn’t feel like we’re welcome here. And I told my friend, and he was like, “Well, we don’t really have the chance to be picky right now, and we don’t have any money.” So we moved in, and then a couple of weeks after we moved in I was sitting outside — we signed on for a year, so we couldn’t get out even if we wanted to. I was sitting outside the house and the next door neighbor talking to me, and we were chatting and she was like, “Do you know the story behind the house you just moved into?” I was like, “No, but please tell me because I don’t like it.” And basically, about 10 years ago, maybe less, this family next door, who still lives next door, the dad in the family shot some guy because they were in warring gangs — I live in a really rough bit of Bristol. He shot this guy and tried to hide the body in the basement of the house that we live in now, and then he tried to escape to the States, and his wife bought him the ticket — they both went down for a long time, and the kids were in care. Now the woman’s out of jail and she’s living next door with the kids. So I was like, “There’s been a dead body in my house.” And I feel like I knew that something was wrong and I ignored it, and then ever since that point, I had to live there for another 11 months. And I had all my practice equipment in the basement, I’d made it into a room where we could record, and then it just didn’t feel good from that point on. I didn’t want to go downstairs.

Lucy: If you felt good, I’d be really concerned. [Laughs.] I do feel like people like haunted houses sometimes, like some people really get into that. I don’t understand it. I feel like you can only be into it if you haven’t truly been affected by the haunting of the house.

Fenne: It’s the kind of thing that you want to go into for a trip, but t you don’t want to really live there. I don’t know about you, and I will ask you, but I didn’t really think I was that much of a believer in ghosts for a pretty long time, and then I was listening to this podcast where people tell real stories from their lives — it’s not scripted at all, at least that’s what they say. There’s so many stories of people moving into a house, getting a weird feeling, and then their kid start talking to ghosts. Some of the stories are so visceral and so complicated and so obviously made me see that there is another world that I haven’t personally come into contact with, but why would we not? Have you had ghost experiences?

Lucy: Oh, yeah, more recently. I feel like I’ve heard from friends that the more you open yourself up to it, the more that it comes to you. I feel like I was just kind of closed off for a really long time. Even that podcast, I’d have been like, “Oh, good stories,” like whether that’s true or not, it doesn’t really matter. But having had your own experiences and having friends tell you stories — it’s really hard to refute someone you care about saying like, “This happened,” or something happening in your life. I’ve seen and heard things that I can’t explain, and I don’t know if it’s ghosts, but certainly something has happened that is completely unreasonable and inexplicable.

I do feel like they have sort of an architectural tone — you know, like haunting, need a place for it, and I do feel like there are some places that I’ve had, like, weird experiences that feel kind of supernatural. I think that once I realized, like, Oh, this is real, life is just kind of… The possibility has been there, so more of it has just come into my life. Not really as much right now — like the house we moved into should absolutely be haunted, but I don’t think that it is. There is sort of a weird energy — and anybody should laugh at me for talking about it this way, probably — but like, the energy is benevolent. If this is a haunted house, it’s a chill ghost.

Fenne: I think there’s no reason to not think that the energy of the previous people in a place affect it. Even if you don’t think a ghost is like an actual vision of a person, an exact replica of that exact person, I definitely think some places have bad vibes, some places have good vibes. But you can’t change the feeling in a place. When I moved into my current place, it was trash — the people that lived here before that burned the carpets up and left all their furniture here, and there were scrapes on the walls and stuff, and, like, everything was painted black. It was so weird. And again, I was poor and didn’t have much choice. So I moved in by myself and made it really nice with my best friend, and actually hung a picture of your face on the wall — that’s one of the first things I did, and I think that really helped.

But then I was broken into when I was on tour, and they stole all my merch money, which was a huge blow, and my laptop which had all my demos on it. So I went back to the house and the whole feeling had completely changed. And I worked very hard to not let this be a negative place for me, and I feel like that’s just been completely invaded and disrupted. And I obviously was scared as well, so I just got three of my best friends to live with me for a month, just to reset the feeling. And it worked.

I mean, you know as well as anyone that music isn’t particularly lucrative when you’re in the beginning stages of it, and a grand in cash will see you through two months. And that was not possible because… I don’t know, I hope that it was someone that needed it a lot, because I don’t like thinking it was just some guy that was like, “You know what, I’m pissed and I want stuff.” But I think as a person, I generally kind of revert to running away from stuff that is bad. So I think if I hadn’t really thought about it and wanted to stay in this place, I would have just moved.

Lucy: I don’t know if I told you, but I was robbed in May of this year, during quarantine. So, yeah, I’m really sorry that happened to you. I have a whole new, you know, knowing what it feels like. I was actually in the house, and I woke up at 5AM and heard — but I have such a creative mind, to put it lightly, where often I’ll hear things and be like, Oh, that’s the absolute worst thing that could possibly be. And I think like that all the time, so I know not to let it take hold over my thoughts.

So I woke up at 5 and was like, Oh, it sounds like people are in the kitchen opening the window, and well, they’re probably gone if they are, and probably they aren’t even there in the first place. I’m gonna go back to sleep. But then I went downstairs and someone had taken my wallet and a laptop and all of the booze in the house, and some other trinkets. Luckily nothing so bad — we had guitars around, and the guitars weren’t taken. One time I was robbed and someone stole my journals of three years, like all my journals of my whole college experience before I dropped out, and that’s the worst. That still hurts so much, not having those years documented.

But yeah, I did move. That dream I had about a new house, it was the old house that got broken into, and then we moved to this house. I feel a lot safer, but I definitely felt like, on top of feeling isolated and not leaving the house — like literally not even going onto the porch for a long time — I just dissociated for like a month and a half, basically June and the beginning of July.

I don’t know, I think a lot of people are going through things like that, and the general state of life is so fragile that when negative events come into life, it just feels kind of harder to recover. But I definitely I feel a lot better now. Do you feel any better in your house?

Fenne: I do, although it was a while ago. But yeah, just imagining that feeling — I wasn’t in. I was abroad, so I had to wait like a week to get back. But I can’t imagine knowing. You knew something was up, but you convinced your brain that it was just doing that thing that it does, and being in and being invaded in that way. That’s fucked.

It just hurt me so deeply that you had your journals stolen — that’s like taking a chunk of someone’s whole brain. And they don’t have any use for that stuff. Like the way that I was trying to frame the break in when it happened was like, OK, that’s cash, that’s a laptop. If they need them, those will provide for them in some way. But I was almost like, Why couldn’t they have left my memory stick with my demos on it? Because that wouldn’t benefit them. They took a packet of photographs, which was, like old family photos.

But there is so much bad, life ruining stuff happening at the moment anyway. And granted, it happens always, and I do think that the BLM protests in Bristol came right at the perfect point where everybody was angry about how we are being governed as a country, generally, through the corona stuff. And then the BLM stuff came at a time where everyone was so ready to be unhappy with the way that the world is run.

It was almost like, I’m aware that racism hasn’t just arrived overnight, and everyone was just like, “Oh, no, racism exists.” But it happened at a time when everyone was really open to the possibility that stuff is bad still, and we really need to make an effort as a community to change that.

I mean, this is completely unrelated to the health stuff, but there are so much bad, bad shit going on, and it’s a conscious decision to, daily, allow it to come in in a way that you can process in a positive way. It’s just so easy to doomscroll and be like, Fuck, this is really bad. You need to kind of police yourself as to when you let that stuff in, because it’s so easy to just constantly be tapped into this modern hellscape.

I recently got locked out of Instagram for no real reason, and initially I was like, Damn, that’s where I get all my stuff from. And then I was like, Actually, this is great for me because I can focus on the closest things to me and how to change the things that I can change. And not just think that the big picture is unattainable and so badly ruined that I don’t feel like I have the power to change anything.

Lucy: So maybe just to close, we can each tell a recent dream that we had.

Fenne: Weirdly, when you said that we should talk about dreams for our theme, I just typed in “dreams” in my notes on my phone, and I screenshotted a bunch of them, but two of them are so, so similar that it freaked me out, firstly, and then I realized that they’re exactly a year apart.

Lucy: Woah, that it so weird.

Fenne: The second one was when I was in Chicago recording, and the first one was a year before that.

So the first one, all I’ve written is, “Dream: Breastfeeding on a beach thinking, This would make a beautiful photo. Shiny sticker, little Game Boy, tiny nipples, holding hands while a wave rolls over.” And then the second bit is, “Nana is hosting a Halloween party. Me getting skateboard advice from a kind, kind man.”

I would like to pay the main attention to the breastfeeding part and the Halloween part, because exactly a year later in Chicago — I think around the time I was seeing a guy over there from Tinder, who was a skateboarder, so that’s kind of cool too. So the Chicago dream is, “Mum pregnant, me also pregnant. Letter writing to get better in school. Buying Halloween costumes with tall people and a beautiful woman on a minimum wage budget. Didn’t go for the white outfit.” And then the last line is,”Pour whiskey in my ear to unblock me, please.” [Laughs.]

Lucy: [Laughs.] Do you type these as soon as you wake up?

Fenne: Yeah, so they’re literally just key bits. I like to think I’m quite a stable person who’s got q handle on how they deal with their feelings, but it seems that there’s a lot of breastfeeding, pregnancy, weird kind of mom-daughter problem stuff that maybe I need to work through. And Halloween seems to be something I hold close to my heart, strangely.

What’s your most recent weird one?

Lucy: I almost never have any sort of, like, motherhood type of dreams. I mean, I’m also adopted and have pretty much no desire to ever be pregnant, so I guess I my subconscious just doesn’t complain. Like, Yes, that is true.

I’ve been having a lot of dreams set in Russia, which is a complicated setting because, as I said, I’m adopted, and my parents told me I was Russian when I was growing up. Actually when I turned 18, I got my file and found out that I’m genetically Uzbek, like from Uzbekistan, so not Russia. I took two years of Russian in high school to get connected to that part of myself, and then it’s like, I’m not even Russian.

So I’ve been having all these dreams set in Russia, and I had one a few days ago where the entire staff of Matador was swimming up an icy river and Rennie [Jaffe], who is both of our managers, and everyone that works at Matador was swimming up an icy river — freezing, and like chunks of ice floating by — because we were on our way to a show. We really wanted to see this girl sing.

Only four of us survived: Me, [Matador founder] Chris Lombardi, and Rian Fossett, and Malcolm Donaldson, who all work at Matador. We get to the shore and the promoters are there and they’re like, “Hey, we have blankets for you, thanks for making the trip, we know it’s such a hassle getting here. We have vodka and we have tea and blankets and heaters in this trailer, and we’re so happy you can make it.” And they have this little trailer set up next to this sports stadium where the show is going to be. They bring in the girl who they’re scouting, I guess to sign, and she’s so nervous. I’m trying to talk to her an be like, OK, it’s gonna be OK, you know, I was happy when Matador reached out to me, I think it’ll be fine, you seem really sweet.” We listened to her record, and the first song was the most beautiful song I’d ever heard. You know in a dream where you wake up and can’t remember what it was, but you know in the dream the supreme beauty was apparent to you? We all cried and were like, “We’re just honored to be here with you, you’re going to be a star,” everyone was so emotional. And then a couple of songs in, we were still liking it, but towards the end of the record, everyone got really bored and tired. So in, like, 20 minutes, it was just this beautiful, elated feeling to everyone sort of unspokenly getting really tired of her voice, the most beautiful voice in the world. And she noticed, and I noticed, and it was clear that everyone kind of just wanted to go. like when a party has gone on too long. She just started crying, and I just wanted to say, “I don’t know how to explain it, the feeling just left.”

And that was the dream, where I just had to console the best musician in the entire world that everyone just labeled not engaging enough.

Fenne: At the beginning of this dream, I thought the main part of it was — because this is way more detailed than I remember anything, like even real life — when you said that only only a few of you made it, I was like, Is this icy river a metaphor for the long road to being able to do shows again? And that a lot of people that we work with will just die after the market being ruined? But that’s so, so sad!

Lucy: I felt grief when I woke up. I have this problem where I wake up from dreams and I feel so deeply for everyone that I met in the dream. I thought about her the rest of the day, where I really felt bad for her even though she was a figment of my imagination. Like I had such sympathy for her position, and I really couldn’t understand and wanted to understand why we didn’t keep loving her music. I don’t know, it felt like something dark and sad going on there.

Fenne: Oof. I want to meet her. I want to climb in your brain and meet her.

Lucy: I could draw her. I wake up from dreams and I could tell you all of the architecture, I could tell you the fabric on the furniture and what makeup people are wearing, and shoes people are wearing. A lot of info.

Fenne: For a split second when I wake up, it’s like that, but yeah. There’s an artist called [Zdzisław] Beksiński — he trained as an architect and then he became a photographer, and then eventually he became this incredible painter, and his paintings inspired, like, black metal artwork. It’s like a lot of huge, imposing buildings draped in flesh, spiderwebs, and they’re beautiful because of how intricate they are, and they kind of glow. But he said that often he’d have the idea that — it’s not a theme, but it’s actually the picture itself, and then he replicated from this picture in his brain. So maybe you should go into Russian hellscape painting. [Laughs.]

(x)

[averagemrfox]

was just reminded of my favorite poem and now I'm beat up over bumbleby and these first three stanzas

You will never be let down by anyone more than you will be let down by the one you love most in the world it’s how gravity works it’s why they call it “falling” it’s why the truth is harder to tell every year you have more to lose but you can choose to bury your past in the garden by the tulips water it until it’s so alive it lets go and you belong to yourself again When you belong to yourself again Remember forgiveness is not a tidy grave  It is a ready loyal knight kneeling before your royal heart Call in your royal heart  Tell it bravery cannot be measured by a lack of fear  It takes guts to tremble  It takes so much tremble to love  Every first date is a fucking earthquake Sweetheart, on our first date  I showed off all my therapy  I flaunted the couch Where I finally sweat out my history  I pulled out the photo album from the last time I wore a lie to the school dance  I smiled and said “that was never my style Look how fixed I am  Look how there’s no more drywall on my fist  Look at the stilts I’ve carved for my short temper  Look how my wrist is not something I have to hide” I said  Well I was hiding it The telephone pole still down from the storm  By our third date I had fixed the line  I said listen I have a hard time  I mean I cry as often as most people pee and I don’t shut the door behind me I’ll be up in your face screaming “SEATTLE IS TOO RAINY SEATTLE IS TOO RAINY IM NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO LIVE HERE.” I sobbed on our fourth date I can’t live here  In my body, I mean I can’t live in my body all the time it feels too much  So if I ever feel far away know I am not gone I am just underneath my grief Adjusting the dial on my radio faith so I can take this life with all of it’s love and all of it’s loss See I already know that you are the place where I am finally going to sing without any static meaning I’m never gonna wait that extra twenty minutes to text you back and I’m never gonna play hard to get when I know your life has been hard enough already When we all know everyone’s life has been hard enough already it’s hard to watch the game we make of love, like everyone’s playing checkers with their scars, saying checkmate whenever they get out without a broken heart. Just to be clear I don’t want to get out without a broken heart. I intend to leave this life so shattered there better be a thousand separate heavens for all of my separate parts  And none of those parts are going to be wearing the romance from the overpriced vintage rack  That is to say I am not going to get a single speed bike if I can’t make it up the hill  I know exactly how many gears I’m going to need to love you well And none of them look hip at the coffee shop  They all have God saying “good job you’re finally not full of bullshit”  You finally met someone who’s going to flatten your knee caps into skipping stones Baby, throw me  Throw me as far as I can go  I don’t want to leave this life without ever having come home  And I want to come home to you  I can figure out the rain

[scheodingers-muppet]

in honor of speak now tv about to drop, im bringing back my stranger things taylor song casting. i wrote a lot of this on my phone after listening to the album so apologizes for grammar errors or anything

mine: ronance, from Nancy's POV. Careless man's careful daughter. Sitting there by the water mirroring the boat scene. You learn my secrets and you figure out why I'm guarded. In the music video, we see the couple fighting when things get tough outside of the relationship, which we've also seen Nancy do, both when she was struggling with Barb and fighting with Jonathan when dealing with sexism from her job.

sparks fly: lumax. Max is the rainstorm, Lucas the house of cards. "I'm on my guard for the rest of the world, but for you, I know it's no good"

back to december: stancy; but just Nancy apologizing for how things ended, not them getting back together. "that night" not just being the Halloween fight but her cheating on him. I think she would feel bad about how things ended and I really want them to talk everything out in season 5. Plz. Also the line, "I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile...how you held me in your arms that September night, the first time you ever saw me cry" Obv with the tan skin and smile, but I hc that after Nancy told Steve what happened to Barb, he held her while she cried

speak now: byler, from Will's pov. Not in a literal wedding sense (though that might make a fun fic...) but more of Mike asking Will for advice about El and Will just finally coming clean. Maybe it doesn't go great and he doubles down with El and it causes some tension or maybe the roles are reversed and Mike comes clean then panics and doubles down and Will is trying to get him back

dear john: Joyce about Lonnie. I hate this man.

mean: El about Angela. Imagine if before the roller skate incident, she confided in Joyce and she told her to just confront her with her words, ya know? Like just call her out for being mean. Then when that doesn't work, she thinks, "well, what would Hopper tell me? Gotta fight back." Makes my heart melt

the story of us: Mike and El, from El’s pov. I just really feel like El would use story tails and romance stories, etc. to compare love to. This song to the letter fight just... ugh.

never grow up: Nancy. First verse to Holly, how she knows what's ahead, both in terms of alternate dimensions and being a teenage girl. She doesn't want her to have to deal with either of the two, just to stay little while she can. Second verse to Mike, seeing him start to become more of an adult and secretly missing her annoying kid brother. (brings more punch to the line “all your little brothers favorite songs”) Third verse takes place after she graduates, moving for school. Her night light mentioned in the verse was her graduation/farewell present from Holly, who says she's a big girl now and doesn't need it.

enchanted: elmax! From Max's POV. Imagine the second verse is them having a sleepover, playing truth or dare. I also love the use of referencing the story tail love metaphor again

better than revenge: stommy; Tommy singing about Nancy. idk it’s the closest I could get.

innocent: Steve and Nancy. First verse is about Nancy (lost your balance on a tight rope, lost your mind trying to get it back. wasn’t it beautiful when you believed in everything and everyone believed in you. , second about Steve. bonus points if you imagine them singing this to each other (not in a romantic way)

haunted: lumax (I’m sorry) Lucas begging for her to come back after her attack. Trying to move on and be happy but he can’t get over her. the chorus too, “somethings gone terribly wrong” “your eye’s gone cold” the bridge too “you’re not gone, you can’t be gone” you can also imagine it as like, she lives but can’t face the party without thinking about what happened too

last kiss: stancy / mike and el (parallel!) I think I’m gonna write up a post about all the parallels I see in the characters and dynamics, but I really love this one. Steve being El and Nancy being Mike. The Wheelers having severe issues with love (specifically saying the word) and hurting those who are head over heel for them. I see this from all of their perspectives, switching based off the lines. first verse is mileven (the plane line, “sit on the floor wearing your clothes” we’ve seen El wear clothes from pretty much everyone in the party) the second verse is stancy from Nancy’s pov (life of the party, “i’m not much for dancing, but for you i did” listing things he did she loved without saying “i love you”) bridge is rapid fire switching. “so I’ll watch your life in pictures like i used to watch you sleep” mike (bylers take a lot of family photos; i can imagine him seeing her in photos will sends) “i feel you forget me like i used to feel you breathe” steve “and i’ll keep up with our old friends just you ask them how you are” el “i hope it’s nice where you are…it’s a beautiful day” nancy (i think she feels bad for how things ended)

long live: the whole party. they deserve to feel like hero’s and royalty after everything they’ve been though. i desperately need to find an edit to this

ours: Steddie. the town hates eddie atm and would probably not take well to king steve dating him. the lines “i love the riddles that you speak” and “any snide remarks from my father about your tattoos will be ignored” i can also see lumax, but this is just such a light hearted song to me so i didn’t want to compare it to the racism we’ve seen be thrown at lucas and his relationship

superman: jopper. i love the idea of joyce hyping him up as her superman. also based on my parents (my dad was a first responder and this song always made me think of them for the “saving the world” aspect) “he’s not all bad like his reputation” i’m ignoring the sad parts and just focusing on the “go be a superhero, i’ll be here when you get back”

electric touch: steddie. eddie’s taylor, steve is patrick. “this could either break my heart or bring it back to life” “got a history of stories ending sadly” (eddie) “everytime i tried for love, it fell apart” (steve)

when emma falls in love: robin. i have no real proof, it just reminds me of her. i love the image of steve saying all of this about her ❤️❤️ (obvs pronouns change and stuff)

i can see you: steddie (it’s a very steddie coded album, leave me alone) from steve’s pov, talking about how he’s always had a crush on eddie and always noticed him but it breaks eddie’s brain fhat king steve has a crush on him

castles crumbling: steve angst time. talking about his “fall from social grace” and how he lost everything, both in terms of reconciling what he lost from being a jerk as king steve and what he lost when he was dethroned

foolish one; byler. “stop checking your mailbox for confessions of love” “it’s delicate but i’ll try my best to seem bulletproof” “maybe someday when we’re older this is something we’ll laugh about” “you haven’t written me or called” “i’ll get your longing glances but she’ll get your ring”

timeless; jopper. soul mates for real

[newfullcresc]

Hi guys this is like the complete opposite of what I usually post but i really just need to do a (not so) little rant about Eat Your Friends (Jhariah & Pinkshift)

The lyrics and the fact that these are two entirely separate bands coming together to make this song are not lost on me, but apparently people think this song is about……. Cannibalism???????????? Like actually just straight up romanticizing cannibalism???? Because they take the title and some of the lyrics at face value, which is insane especially considering that it has been explicitly stated what the general concept this song represents is.

Currently, Jhariah is working on new music, so this may be an outdated explanation depending on what they decide to do with their singles & eps (and whether they combine them all onto one collective album in the future, especially with the fact that Pin-Eye and Collarbone have released recently and The Tooth Pact tour begins soon)

Anyways, this is about Eat Your Friends and not Pin-Eye, though I’m sure I’m going to have to talk about that too when people inevitably misconstrue the meaning behind that song as well lmfao (if people convolute RISK then it’s over i have to delete social media for good)

The song has been said to represent industry-created creative competitiveness and how it warps your perception of yourself, your colleagues, and others around you. It’s also VERY important to understand that these bands are comprised of POC, and it is incredibly difficult for POC to make headway in industries that are systemically set up against them, ESPECIALLY music and ESPECIALLY rock and alternative scenes. It’s also important that I clarify none of these lyrics have officially stated explanations just yet, and any highlighted text you see in the screenshots are people trying to speculate what they mean. I also will not be talking about the music video just yet. We can begin to analyze the song when the intro begins:

I really doubt that the red beretta in question is literal but also i think it’s interesting that red berettas are handguns specifically. I don’t think this is just fodder for the energy of the song, i really think it’s supposed to represent.. SOMETHING. The phrasing makes it sound vague and dubious; either the ‘character’ is idealizing offing themselves or a different person (or both, which is not a new concept with some of Jhariah’s music—see here: ‘whose eye is it anyway???’), but I feel like we should really talk about the third and fourth lines because they offer more substance, but I think that there is something to be said for the line “the beretta fires fast and won’t make you feel any better”

“You better hurry up or your friends will be fed instead uh” implies that the character is missing out on something, or is about to, and that their friends will end up gaining something that the character would have, had they not been doing, you know, whatever it is they were doing.

“Instead of breaking bread, you should kick em’ before they get up” is a very easy line to analyze—instead of acting diplomatic and celebratory, it’s suggested that the character thinks their best option is to kick their friends/colleagues when they’re already down to ensure that the character alone receives whatever benefit that their friends would have as mentioned in the line prior. The addition of breaking bread is interesting and why I think that the victim(s??) in this line is specifically the character’s friends/colleagues. Breaking bread quite literally represents becoming joint in spirit with others breaking the bread. Usually this is related to Jesus Christ in evangelical contexts, and there might be something there to talk about in correlation to the song’s theme, but I really don’t want to pull Christianity into it when it really has nothing to do with the song overall lmao.

The way these lines are laid out really displays that even though the character says that these people are their friends, they view them as competition that impedes on them and that they need to be snuffed out or put in their place. It also showcases the theme of envy very early on, and it’s necessary to say that this song already sounds conventionally angry, lyrics aside.

Let’s move onto the next section!

“Frivolous and bitter” is VERY interesting because we don’t know whether this is about the effort and desperation towards ‘making it’, OR if this is about something more personal. It’s interesting that whatever this is, is viewed as JUST bitter and not bittersweet, but as we look at the next line; “diminishing sense of who I am” we can understand that this thing is chipping away at the character’s very personage and sense of self. This is something that happens very very VERY often with people in creative fields, because it already feels Sisyphusian to try and thrive as a creative.

When we look at the lines below; “it’s a habit I wish I could kick or do I get a little thrill in the feeling of being set on fire?” We have a lot to address!! The character expresses that this experience isn’t something fulfilling, at least, not enough to actively feel enriched by, and I don’t think it’s necessarily about creating itself, and instead more about the way that creating has so many obstacles to overcome in the process just for the efforts to fall flat. Which is to say, I believe the beginning half of the lines ties into the lines prior, where the character talks about how the experience is sort of all-consuming in a negative way. I don’t want to talk about the second half because I’m not entirely confident in the way I can phrase it, but we can see that it “begs for more” and that either the effort the creator puts into it isn’t enough or that the fruits of their labor isn’t enough (either not enough to satiate them or not enough to keep them afloat, or both! It could be both for either!). The repetition makes the delivery sound fervent and desperate.

NOTE: in this section, standard text is sang by Jhariah, italicized text is sang by Ashrita Kumar (the frontman of Pinkshift), and boldened text is sang by both of them.

“It’s just me” and “it’s just you” being sang by two individuals makes the lines feel more like a conversation, and the phrasing itself expresses a familiarity between the two ‘characters’. Also, Ashrita’s first line in the chorus is put in parentheses and in the song it sounds like it’s more in the background. This as far as audio and text goes, makes it sound like Jhariah’s character is already successfully attempting at eclipsing Ashrita’s.

Next up, the most on-the-nose lines in the song!

“If not for this jealousy, I might feel better” is sang by both frontmen of their respective bands, which displays that this is a mutual feeling. Both parties are jealous, both parties have a skewed perception of the other, and both parties are left unsatisfied. The fact that this is a mirrored sentiment will remain present throughout the rest of the song from here, so be aware!

“I keep putting everyone else on pedestals” shows that both Jhariah’s and Ashrita’s characters see others in their field (more than likely, each other) as grandiose figures that need to be toppled by themselves, hence the line “just to burn them down”. I also think the former line talks about the coexistence of jealousy and anger as well as idealization and hate, and how they (Jhariah and Ashrita) also destroyed whatever prior characterization they held of these people in response.

NOTE: this section is sang by Ashrita Kumar!

“Menace of an illness” I believe is addressing that the secondary party understands that they pose a perceived threat to the other.

“I’m looking just to see who I am” is interesting with the context that both bands hold! Jhariah and Pinkshift produce a LOT of music about perception of the self and finding it, and truly I’m unsure what concept would even best apply to this line. Either that Ashrita’s character is searching for how others perceive her in Jhariah’s character’s image of her, OR that she herself just generally doesn’t have a set image of herself, which would also apply to the type of music that both bands make!

The line “you’re nothing more than you’ll ever be in this circumstance” is VERY dubious as far as direction and meaning goes. I’m unsure whether this is directed towards herself (caused by the implied lack of self-image in the line “I’m looking just to see who I am”), towards Jhariah’s character, or both, but for sake of digestibility I’ll say that this is towards Jhariah’s character. This is super interesting regardless of just who it’s directed to, because the circumstance in question is a feverish social climb that involves tearing the other down and/or idealizing their fall from grace. The sentiment, as addressed before, is mutual, and it is now clear that beyond a shadow of a doubt, both parties have a lesser image of the other in light of the jealousy they feel for the other, which is caused less by the other’s success and more so because of the self-perceived LACK of their own success. The reality is, both parties are struggling because the wall separating them from struggling and creative success is near-insurmountable—it’s rigged against them to pit them against each other. It’s cutthroat. It’s MEANT to be that way.

“You are the pedal to metal, this is your only chance” is way more self-explanatory than the last line lmao. This line expresses that YOU (intent of direction unclear once again, still don’t know if this is about Ashrita’s character or Jhariah’s or BOTH, AGAIN…..) are responsible for pushing for that acceleration (pedal to metal is a common phrase but for those who don’t know what it like. Actually means beyond common usage providing a sense of contextual clarity, pedal to the metal is a phrase synonymous with pressing down on the accelerator of a car. It’s not always literal, but it’s supposed to express that it’s usually a last-ditch effort to catch up and/or finish something). The second half of the line is.. really nihilistic! It’s, again, unclear whether this is to one individual, but I believe it to be a general statement for both Ashrita and Jhariah—that this (killing the competition. So, each other, basically.) is the only chance both of them have at success.

The next couple of lines are standard fare for dropping an act, so we can move on to one of the most interesting parts of the song. For this part, I WILL be bringing up the cinematography of the MV.

NOTE: as said before, standard text is Jhariah, italicized text is Ashrita Kumar, and boldened text is both.

The MV is actually very good context for the song as a whole—showing concert footage of Ashrita and Jhariah performing the song and “fighting each other” for the microphone, which, I know they did it for the sake of what the song means, but it really does showcase the desperation for the spotlight in this song. The main part of the MV I want to talk about is the rope scene. Throughout the music video, clips of the band members for both bands are spliced together, the main ones being concert footage and then themed footage of the band members “fighting” in a forest. The rope scene is shown after Ashrita and Jhariah break away from the fight and run out of the clearing into the same general area except spaced out, but the effort is futile because their respective band mates catch up to them. Jhariah and Ashrita are cornered back-to-back to each other by their band mates and the band members collectively take strands of rope and begin stringing up the frontmen while they sing in time to the song.

This shows that now, this isn’t even an isolated feeling to just Jhariah and Ashrita, and the lyrics are indicative they regardless of this fact, they are STILL fighting. The biggest part we need to talk about is the last couple of lines.

“Overgrown invasive weeds, unearth the roots and kill the seeds” is using the fact that the only way to get rid of weeds (which will kill other plants if left to their own devices—which in itself is a metaphor for the cutthroat nature of industry and the perception of the other group. Really reads as a “if it’s not them, it’s me” sort of rationalization) as a metaphor for having to stop the success of the others at the expense of themselves.

“Laid to rest” is interesting, because the phrase is only ever used for death, and generally for those who died peacefully and lived a fulfilled life, but I don’t think it’s a literal sense of killing at all. Killing a career, killing a passion, killing the competition? Those are more viable answers to what this line means.

“So eat your friends, they’ll understand cause they would too” is NOT fucking cannibalization you guys come the fuck on. Jhariah and Ashrita did not curate a whole song and music video about the themes they’re exploring just for you to sit and call it a cannibalism song. ‘Eating your friends’ is evidently tied to the idea and general concept of killing the competition yourself and that “they’ll understand cause they would too” BECAUSE THE CIRCUMSTANCES MAKE IT SO THEY WOULD DO THE SAME TO ‘YOU’. ‘YOU’ ARE COMPETITION IN THE SAME WAY ‘THEY’ ARE TO ‘YOU’. BOTH PARTIES ARE PSEUDO-OBSTACLES TO EACH OTHER BECAUSE OF WARPED PERCEPTION.

Anyways the rest of the song repeats the chorus and intro’s lines in a more desperate way before the song pulls to a sharp halt.

I analyze all this because there are genuinely people talking about how “omg eat your friends is about cannibalism!!!” Which completely undermines the effort that Jhariah and Pinkshift made with this song and literally one proves the point of the concept that this song makes. Sorry for how long this is (genuinely took three hours to write) but I love Jhariah’s music so much and I can’t believe media illiterate people are already getting their hands on his music.

[fitrahgolden]

Lilies and Soap: 3 - A Pleasing Smile

“The promises I covet most

Are the ones you’ve never made”

“Pleasing Smile” by Lilies and Soap.

Lyrics by K. K. Sharma.

—

"I thought you guys had better snacks at these meetings. I could eat any of this stuff at home," Colin assessed as he proceeded to eat at least one of everything that was laid out on the table along the wall of the studio. 

"Then I'll ask for a third time, why are you here?" Anthony exchanged a look with Kate. 

"Because Ben and I are going to the cinema after this. And I thought there would be better snacks."

"Well, we wouldn't want to keep you. What else is there, Ben?"

“Well, I've saved the best for last. Guess who's manager emailed me today."

"Who?" Kate asked as she worked on a phrase on the keyboard.

"Siena Rosso wants to collaborate with L&S.”

Kate's stomach dropped with a thud, but she tried to keep a straight face, and even managed a smile. 

“Oh, wow. Really?” Anthony seemed genuinely surprised, which didn't make sense to Kate. Siena talked about their band in the press all the time, and often mentioned Anthony specifically.

Benedict must have been thinking the same thing. “Mate, her crush on you is a very open secret. Hell, she’s liked you since we were all at the RCM.”

“No shit?” Anthony asked, with a hint of excitement.

“No shit,” Kate said quietly to herself.

“Your cluelessness aside, she wants to experiment for her next album. Not all the way mainstream, but mixing up her typical classical stuff to see how she likes a less niche sound. She wants you two to write some songs for her and maybe feature on a few tracks.”

Colin unhelpfully added, “And, of course, she wants to fuck Anthony.”

Anthony smirked as he reflexively chucked his pen at Colin and the three brothers laughed far too much at the joke, which Kate knew wasn’t a joke at all. Surprising herself, she stood up a bit too fast, knocking some sheet music onto the floor.

“I’m gonna run to the loo. That sounds great, though. Both the collab and Tony getting laid, of course.” She winced as she walked quickly across the room.

“Lamb–?”

She ignored him–and the sympathetic look Benedict sent her way.

—

When Kate didn’t come back from the bathroom after ten minutes, Benedict cleared his throat. “Well, that was really all I had for you guys, so…”

Anthony ran a hand over his face. “Yeah, it’s fine. You guys can head out.”

Benedict walked over and put a hand on Anthony's shoulder. "Let me know if there is anything I can do, OK?"

"Sure, thanks."

Once his brothers left, Anthony walked down the hall to find Kate just outside of the bathroom, leaning against the wall, staring up at the ceiling. When she heard him approaching, she looked in his direction and quickly straightened up. Her eyes looked teary.

"Shit, what's wrong?" Anthony took long, quick strides to reach her.

"What? Nothing." She sounded annoyed as she ran her fingers through her hair.

"Lamb, it's obviously something."

"I'm fine." Kate started to walk past him. He reached for her hand, but she pulled away from him, and Anthony felt a sting in his chest.

“I said I’m fine, Tony.” Annoyance was turning into anger, it seemed.

Anthony held his hands up. "OK, OK."

Kate's expression softened a bit. "Sorry. Look, if we’re done, I’m gonna go.”

“I thought we were going to–”

"No, I really need to go. I’m going to Somerset."

Anthony took a few steps closer, but Kate kept backing up. "What? Since when?"

"Since I decided I wanted to. So, I’ll see you later. Bye."

No hug. No kiss on the cheek. Just "bye," and she was gone. 

—

"Chellam!"

Kate's mother, Kaveri, kissed her daughter's cheeks before stepping back so Kate could come into the house.

"I saved some dinner for you if you want to eat something."

"I do. Thank you, Amma."

"Go put your bag in your room and I'll heat it up."

"Oh, I can do th–"

Kate almost had the wind knocked out of her when she felt someone jump on her back.

"Didi!"

"Hello, Bon," Kate breathed with a laugh.

"Oh, yes. When you told me you were coming, I let Mary and Edwina know, of course." Kaveri explained from the kitchen.

"Mum isn't here, though. She's had a cold and went to bed early tonight."

"She's sick? Why didn't you tell me?" Kate threw her bag into her old room and walked with Edwina to the kitchen.

"It's just a cold, Kate."

"Still, I could have come earlier." She sat down at the kitchen table where her mother had placed her dinner.

"Speaking of…" Edwina sat beside her at the table. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, but you usually don't take a three and a half hour train ride on a whim."

"Everything OK, Chellam?" Kaveri asked as she leaned against the stove.

"Um…" Kate took a break from inhaling her food. She didn't realise how hungry she was. "No, not really. I mean, I'm fine."

"You don't have to be fine. Just tell us."

"Well… Um… OK, uh, I think I have feelings for Tony. Actually, no. I thought I did for a while. Now I know I do."

Edwina and Kaveri looked at each other, their expressions not quite what Kate was expecting.

"What?" she asked.

"Not to take away from whatever you're feeling, but we sort of thought that's been the case for a long time."

"Really? How long is 'a long time?'"

"I don't know. You've been such good friends with the Bridgertons since uni. You and Anthony just sort of…fit together so well. Honestly, we know you aren't together, but, Didi, you guys have acted like you are for at least a couple years.

"Years?" Kate looked up at her mother. "Amma?"

"It's true. We talk about it all the time."

"Kaveri!" Edwina shook her head.

"What?"

"You guys really talk about it all the time?" Kate asked slowly, trying to take in that what she's only recently been grappling with is apparently old news to her family.

Kaveri joined Edwina and Kate at the table.

“Kathani. We didn’t want to mention it before you did, if you even would. I’m sorry. It just didn’t feel like our place to say anything. I mean, we could have been wrong, so we kept our thoughts to ourselves.”

“Yeah…” Kate started to push around the rest of the food on her plate with her fork. “I wish you’d been wrong.”

Edwina put an arm around Kate’s shoulders.

“Today, Ben told us Siena Rosso wants to collab with us.”

“Oh, I think I’ve heard of her,” Edwina said.

“Well, we actually all met at the RCM. We weren’t super close, but she would hang out with me, Ben, and Tony sometimes. She’s always had a crush on him–Tony, I mean. Nothing ever happened with them, but I don’t think she ever got over it. And when Ben told us she wanted to work with us, Tony just looked…” Kate sighed. “I think he’s interested.”

“Well,” Edwina said. “You don’t have to agree to the collaboration, right?”

“No, but I can’t turn it down if this is the only reason. It’s a great opportunity for us, and obviously Tony wants to do it. I can’t start making decisions for the band because of these… feelings. So, yeah, we’re probably gonna be working with her. Which means I’ll have to see them together and… I think I could be OK, feeling this way when he’s with other people. I just…” A tear rolled down her face and she wiped it away.

“I just don't want to see it up close," she whispered.

—

Edwina offered to stay with Kate at Kaveri’s, but Kate insisted her sister go back home since Mary was sick.

Kate stared up at the ceiling in her childhood bedroom, waiting for sleep to come. For probably the tenth time since she got into bed, she looked at the unanswered messages Anthony sent her since she left him at the studio.

DJ Tony B: Um, what just happened?

DJ Tony B: Did I do something?

DJ Tony B: Call me while you're on the train, Lamb. Please.

DJ Tony B: Just let me know when you get to Kaveri’s.

Kate decided she didn’t want to leave him hanging overnight, though she didn’t know what she wanted to say. She settled for the bare minimum before turning off her phone for the night.

I’m at Amma’s. Going to sleep. Thanks for checking in.

—

“Um, hey.”

Anthony was sitting backstage at The Lexington when he looked up from his phone and saw Kate hesitantly walking towards him. He immediately stood up and put his phone in his pocket.

“Lamb. Hey.”

They faced each other, saying nothing for a few long, uncomfortable moments. Anthony wanted to give her a hug, but things were left so awkward between them, he didn’t know if that’s what Kate would want. They started talking at the same time.

“How was–”

“I should–”

“Go ahead,” Anthony said, smiling.

“Thanks.” Kate took a breath. “I shouldn’t have literally run away from you last week. And I should have answered more of your messages over the past few days. Something just came up and I’m… dealing with it.”

“Are you OK? Is your family OK?”

“Yeah, yes.” Kate said sincerely. She reached out and took Anthony’s hand. He let out a sigh of relief and put his other hand on top of hers.

“And you’re sure I can’t help? Even if you just want to talk about it?”

Kate vigorously shook her head. “No, I can handle it.” She gave him a small smile. It wasn’t her real smile, but Anthony decided not to push it any further–for now. He tugged on her hand and pulled her into a hug. When he felt her relax into it, he tightened his hold. After a while, he finally let her go.

“Want to go out after the runthrough?”

“Sure. Though, you should know Amma and Mum packed a ridiculous amount of food for me to bring back for you. It’s at my flat.”

“Oh, well, in that case,” Anthony put an arm around Kate as they walked towards the stage. “Let’s just go to yours, then.”

[NOTE: I don’t hate Siena, and she isn’t a villain in this story. I also don’t think she’ll be in more than one or two chapters. Just FYI.]