#this is why the discussion around his character is so interesting
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Hello!
I have more sampo thoughts! Surprisingly, not about the recent event but an old event. Or not even the event itself, but something from after it
The memory bubble you get after Aetherium Wars.
Couple of things about memory bubbles before I bring up Sampo or this particular bubble’s contents. After some (admittedly brief) research on bubbles, I’ve learned they’re created by Memokeepers to preserve memories and are usually stolen from the original memory holder. In the game there are 21 memory bubbles. 20 of them belong to Herta and can be found around the Space Station. The last one is the one from after Aetherium Wars and is found on Jarilo VI.
I haven’t interacted with any of the memory bubbles myself, but I have read through all the dialogue and descriptions on the wiki. The 20 belonging to Herta all seem to put you in the pov of the memory holder. It tells it more like a story, kinda similar to Simulated Universe?
But the Aetherium Wars Bubbles only gives dialogue (very similar to Sampo’s character stories) making us more like an observer and not part of the memory. Unless we’re watching the memory of someone who was watching the conversation, but I feel like there’d be more description of the setting if that were the case.
I could go on about the content of the conversation, but I think we’ve all read through it multiple times. What really caught my attention was the beginning and end dialogue of the bubble.
(taken from the wiki. I haven’t done aetherium wars yet ;-;)
Four things stick out to me right away:
The game/The trailblazer’s thoughts notes this feels different
As I mentioned before, there is no description of the scenery showing up before you, but just two figures. My guess as to why is that this bubble wasn’t created by a stolen memory, but was made by the memory holder (or at least the memory holder was involved in the process). The memory holder being Sampo
2. There’s an implication that this bubble was left on purpose
This only adds to the point above. There’s a strong implication that Sampo left this for the Trailblazer to find. You also get an achievement for finding this bubble called Confessions of the Mask which. That kinda says it all.
But now I have two questions, the first being how? It's not said explicitly, but in a conversation with Herta it's implied that Memory Bubbles are only made by Memokeepers. So, if this was left by Sampo, either he got a memokeeper to help him (extremely possible) or he has the power to do it himself (extremely interesting)
My second question is why?
Why would he tell us? Why is he telling us in this indirect way? My guess is it has something to do with his mask. The conversation in the bubble mentions Penacony and Sparkle. So,this was probably around the time Sampo started planning to go to Penacony to get his mask. I discussed this with a friend, and she suggested it might even be some sort of warning, which is why it’s done with a memory bubble.
That sort of reminds me of the recent event, where Sampo spills a lot about the Fools and the Tavern, information that you would only really know as a Fool, but said it in a way that implied he wasn’t a fool. That he heard it from somewhere else, someone else, not that he knew it first hand. I wonder if his mask is sort of.. Making him unstable? (He grew increasingly dark every day) And the 7 day event was another warning. Warning of who he might become when the mask fully takes hold and a warning to not become like him
3. The game/the Trailblazer’s thought recognizes that there are multiple mysterious things about Sampo
Maybe this isn’t as important as I’m making it out to be. After all, we all know something is very Off about Sampo. But the Trailblazer recognizing it feels significant to me. It feels like further confirmation that eventually we will unravel these mysteries. Eventually.
4. “When talking to one who wears a mask, always keep your wits about you.”
This. THIS. This statement has been driving me mad since I first saw it. When I read those words I immediately thought of the translated statement from Topaz’s trailer:
“One who is unaccountably solicitous is hiding evil intentions”
(if you have no idea what I’m talking about, it’s one of my first posts)
The statements are not the same. But they feel so strongly similar, like they go hand in hand. Both are warnings. Both tell you to be careful about people who are not how they appear, people with masks and people who are falsely sincere. Both are talking about Sampo. Looking into this made me realize just how many times we've been warned about Sampo. Half of those times being Sampo himself
Something about it just makes my brain light up with possibilities and I feel like I keep pushing the statements together waiting for something to make sense and explain everything else, but I’ve yet to figure it out. So I’m left here just kind of going insane
But that’s all I have for now! Maybe someone else will have something
#sampo koski#hsr sampo#honkai star rail#sampo theory#sampo lore#m rambles#god this was so much longer than i thought it'd be#i planned it out on a google doc. it was two pages#I've been binging gt live can you tell#but i was actually looking at this memory bubble to double check something for a completely different sampo thought#and then i noticed all this stuff#might make a post later about that other sampo thought
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Kid Ica- sorry, Pit.
Oh neat. Finally we end this long session with this sweet boy. :>
Send Me a Character
And I will tell you my:
First impression
I am one of the millions of people who only knew Pit from Smash. When Brawl's reveal trailer showed its face on Youtube, I recognized every single character. Every single one. Including Snake, especially Snake. But when I saw this kid I thought he was Roy for a second because of the sunset lighting on the Halberd. It took me a couple of seconds to register the name that popped up as someone I briefly saw in Melee. I think Mr. Sakurai knew what he was doing here.
Pit is, like, one of my most favorite characters. His design and character hit about all the right spots for me on my mental checklist. I had a huge thing for angels has a cringy tween, plus he had brown hair in this look which I preferred more, and the outfit certainly does say "this one can kick butt". Also ooh that weapon, how versatile!
But yeah, it was bad. I had an OC who I paired with Pit. And also who wouldn't wanna try on that look (I never did, but the wings would do, and the many times I'd spin sticks like he did his bow, bwaghh).
Even with all that, there was so little to him. I'd scrape around the Internet looking for whatever I could about the kid. And that's where I learned what Captain N was. So you can thank/blame Pit for getting me into Castlevania and (even more into Classic) Mega Man.
With whatever I could gather, along with Uprising's release, I had a reasonable idea as to who Pit was. He's cheery, adorable, and selfless. And I feel some of the other layers to his character that I've picked up also stem from his background as an overlooked retro character. I've discussed this aspect in a comic between him and Sora's addition to Smash. I can tell Mr. Sakurai wanted to give Pit something he didn't quite have, and I chose to translate this as the kiddo having quite the journey in making himself known. Very little by little, until that point in Smash where we know him now.
I'm not surprised if people also saw this like an "ugly swan" path.
Impression now
I may be focusing more on his friends now, but Pit holds a very-very special place in my heart. Especially now that Uprising is a thing, and I have actually grown a li~ttle sour towards it.
I know some of the humor in that game can be itty witty silly banter, but sometimes the jokes at Pit's expense can get a little, uhh, old. I get it, he's a brainless chicken who only thinks about food whatever.
It isn't like he can't be a competent character and still be silly, but sometimes the general fanbase can conflate one side. A lot. Because it's funny, sure I understand. Even I like to give Pit his silly moments, but I'd hope it's seen as him being allowed to let loose with his friends, who don't see him as someone lesser-- despite being very prolific representatives in their homelands.
This part of Pit is such an interesting thing to explore. Pit is the captain of a goddess' army. I don't think it matters the size of the army themselves, as everything is dependent on the decisions of their leader. And he's quite skilled with a variety of weapons now that Uprising has implemented that to his person.
There are so many impressive little things that Pit can call his own, but then why would he still feel inferior. Maybe it's because that's how he grew up. I can see it in the context of his place as a random retro character, but also as "that tiny angel who can't fly". (And maybe also the near-constant belittling he gets from the ones above). So as much as he's shown to be so positive, there are definitely moments where those weaknesses are seen or implied.
Long story short, it's the little things here-n-there that I like about him. It also makes for interesting prompts to write about.
Favorite moment
Am I able to pick one? Uhh, Pit randomly singing at the start of that one chapter is always gonna be cute. He does a lot of cute things. ^^;
Idea for a story
Something about Pit and Rock's relationship in Captain N clicks with me. On the outside it doesn't seem like much aside from "the two little kids hanging around each other", but perhaps that's just me picking at the words they say while mixing in the biases I already have. As a result, I see it that Rock follows after Pit in everything, but Pit also views Rock highly. They both found something in each other.
See this super ancient comic about it here.
One comic I had simmering for decades was looking at the between the two's connection after the events of Captain N and reuniting in Smash 4. It would have been in Pit's perspective and done through several letters-- that he needed help writing.
Unpopular opinion
I don't know what is unpopular.
I'm not a part of the KI fandom. I am a part of the Pit fandom, wah.
Favorite relationship
*Shoves Captain N in your face once again*
Favorite headcanon
Pit is concerningly humble. He has a lot of little talents up his sleeve, a lot of which were picked up with the various part-time things he'd volunteer to do, but he doesn't really make a big deal of them. Some were simply picked up from the duties he was expected to do, or of course, they're just things he can do (so why is that really important).
#I frantically type this out without totally proofreading ahh I tried#but it's donE! they're all done! ( ; O ; )#thank you again for your messages folks#I didn't think there was gonna be... that many#Asks#Ask Mew#thenewgamemaster-moved#kid icarus#pit#i have to go back and clean this up after editing-- the formatting on mobile ruined everything agghhh
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Danganronpa V3 slander?? In my tumblr "For You" dashboard??? How did that get there? I gotta do something about this!
Alright before I tear into the shade thrown at v3 here, I would first like to say that the idea that dr1 and dr2 are criticisms of the justice system specifically is interesting and I hadn't thought about it like that exactly - Of course, they're games that deal with how punishment and crime are handled in a really small community, in very specific circumstances, but I hadn't connected it to punitive justice specifically. It's a very good analysis! Which is why, if the post was just that, I would be quite into it. But OP had to bring my baby v3 into it!
The argument being made here is actually kind of crazy to me. "The first two games in this series were about this thing, so the third one has to be about that too, and because it isn't, it's bad." God forbid franchises try new things! You know, one of the points v3 was making was that the danganronpa formula based on "hope and despair", like it was before, was running dry. But here's the thing: this point, despite what many claim, is not made in a cynical way. It turns around on itself and says "the formula is running dry, but it's final sendoff can be a love letter to itself." Let me elaborate.
Let's accept the claim that dr1 and dr2 are fundamentally about criticisms of punitive institutions. Great! See, the thing is, danganronpa v3 has aspects of criticisms of things, but it is fundamentally a game that wants to *uplift* something. Nietzsche said that, in his later works, there had to be a "yes" and a "no" - the Zarathustra was the yes, and everything else was the no. You could say that dr1 and dr2 are the "no", and drv3 is the "yes" for the danganronpa franchise.
Danganronpa v3's main themes are truth and lies. These manifest in multiple ways, like belief, trust, and identity.
These themes are explored through every chapter and character, much like how OP described danganronpa 1 and 2. The first chapter of drv3 is about an unreliable narrator, it takes the "truth and lies" angle and applies it to the pov character, showing how one deludes themself, through Kaede, Shuichi and the player. Chapter 2 takes Ryoma (who's trying to find something to believe in, something to keep him alive, but can't find it within himself once he discrovers the truth of his past) and Kirumi, who uses propagandistic rhetoric to try to get everyone else to sacrifice themselves for her. Chapter 3 deals with esoteric/religious belief. Chapter 4 and 5 take a theme that had been built up, belief in others and distrust, and take them to the extreme through Kokichi and Kaito, whose perspectives are sublated through Shuichi's character. And Chapter 6 is the culmination of all of this, one that I shall discuss now. But in the character sense, it makes them all deal with the fact that their entire personalities and memories have been crafted to make them how they are. They're "written characters". But that doesn't lessen their value as people.
I would say the word that encompasses the message of danganronpa v3 is, of course, "Fiction". Danganronpa v3 is a game whose final message is not a criticism: it is fundamentally about uplifting the power of fiction.
I find the argument that v3 "criticises something that doesn't exist" to be pretty bad faith, honestly. All of the danganronpas have unbelievable and unrealistic things in them: the whole thing about the tragedy and monokuma robots running around and the whole world being sent to hell by Junko is pretty unbelievable in real life, but we suspend our disbelief because we see the message behind it, we see the point being made. She played the system and fucked shit up because it was already fucked up in itself. The degree to which the world implodes is exaggerated and bombastic, but we get ir. The Neo World Program is also quite exaggerated. Just like the "Ultimate Real Fiction" is exaggerated in danganronpa v3. But that's the thing about fiction, isn't it! It uses scenarios that are not real to make points about real things. So, let's play the media literacy game, tumblr. Danganronpa v3 shows us an "outside world" that relies solely on killing game content for its entertainment. The audience accepts that a killing game could be done in real life and they are fine with it. What's the point here?
Without even getting into the fact that the nature of the outside world could be partly a lie due to Tsumugi's bullshit, what's important here is that this is a world whose sense of meaning hinges entirely on the killing game. And the characters of v3, despite that, still manage to make a change in this world. What v3 is saying fundamentally, is that fiction has the power to change people's mentalities, and that changing people's mentalities can change the world. V3 is saying: art can change the world. Art has philosophical and cultural value. Even in the most hopeless situation, this thing that is by all means "fake" is not devoid of meaning. Its fakeness shows the real world where meaning lies.
If you don't think that v3 is the best game in the series, that's fine, we can disagre. If you don't like that v3 is different to the other danganronpa games, that's fine. You're entitled to your preferences. If the themes didn't hit the spot for you, then that's really a shame, honestly. But don't pretend like it had to be like the other games to be something worthwhile. You can have your opinions, but when you make arguments to claim that a piece of media is bad and thematically bankrupt and I find those arguments to be fundamentally flawed, well, I have to bring up the counterarguments.
In summary, v3 is a really good game in delivering its message and themes, independently of their relationship to those of the previous games. It doesn't need to do the same thing as the prior games to have value in itself - and even still, through its purpose in uplifting fiction, it uplifts the previous two games too. It doesn't need to be about a real life institution that sucks to be able to change the world. It certainly changed mine, and I cherish this game despite its many flaws, which are not really relevant to this post.
Now since I sometimes can't tell I really hope the original post was serious because if it wasn't... lmao
my pet theory is that any danganronpa media worth its salt has to be a little bit about a corrupt bullshit orginization and how much it sucks. the first 2 games are literally about how the punitive justice system sucks fucking shit. first game shows this by every blackened having a Reason for kilking outside of "murder yaaayyy," yes even celestia, her desire for money is explained in depth from her free time events and how she grew up, everyone had a Reason. sakura's suicide was the result of societal punitive justice instead of institutional and how people who think their moral outrage is good bc its aimed at the "correct targets" will just end up hurting people. second game takes this even furthur and goes "in the first game, punitive justice was bad because all these people were victims of circumstance. can you keep those same morals when the people being subject to punitive justice ARE actual criminals of their own free will?" with the added part about the nwp explicitly being a rehabilitative justice program. kamukura's inclusion and honestly dr:0 as a whole since the whole catalyst was kamukura is just a little bit about how any kind of exceptionally smart child is propped up as Something Amazing and is basically forced to use that talent for the greater good despite any feelings the child themself may have about it or how stuck they feel or how traumatized or tortured they become in the search for and nurturing of that talent, and any child thats not that is constantly told theyre inferior to the former and Why Cant They Be Like That and are seen as lesser-than by everyone around them. ultra despair girls is also kind of about that with the warriors of hope and their backstories. dr3 and v3 fall short because they are not about that at all. dr3's future arc is a bit stronger than despair because it actually is about an institution that sucks and despair's feels too much like an interpersonal thing and All Junko's Fault when the whole point was junko just took advantage of unrest that was already there. v3 is about an Institution That Sucks however the institution is "what if you loved a murder game so much you made it real" which doesnt fucking happen. you can make approximations like comparisons to true crime, reality tv, and for a more specific example that squid game reality show. but they didnt even kill people on that. v3 is critiquing something that does not measurably exist and also it doesnt connect to even a single theme from the rest of the series. my other pet theory is that kodaka is scared of the number 3 and thats why the ones with 3 in them are like that
#danganronpa v3 killing harmony#danganronpa#danganronpa v3#writeup#No thats wrong!#Ill cut through those words!#media analysis#drv3#drv3 killing harmony#im also tagging this#kokichi oma#and also#this is personal to me#i did not think i was gonna be engaging in danganronpa v3 discourse of all things today#i hope i didnt come across like too much of a hater but op did strike a nerve by dismissing v3 so brazenly#i tried to make my post more about uplifting v3 than criticizing op#hahaha see what i did there#also i dont know what “pet theory” really means so i might just be shouting at a wall#but hey i told a friend that id explain why v3 is great and didnt deliver so its here now#also why the heck not#philosophy#yes im being a bit pedantic#im not sorry its fun
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hanschen fans are so strong. they got the writers of the musical effectively calling him a future nazi and an uber-capitalist and yet they persevere.
#this is why the discussion around his character is so interesting#he is so malleable. he can represent so much by doing and saying so little#spring awakening#hanschen rilow
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Imagine being 9 years old and asking your dad about the things you're interested in doing when you grow up and he's like "No ❤️! But you can get married, have babies, and then maybe your sons can do those things ☺️🫶 "
#arya stark#one of those /wtf Ned/ moments#then people act like she invented misogyny cause she was like /uuuhhhhh no thanks that's not me/#/Arya is masculine/ and she's literally just a child who has interests outside of her patriarchy-assigned role#the way people read this and then demonize Arya for not silently conforming like people expect her to...#that's the ingrained misogyny from being socialized in a patriarchal society speaking babes 😭#cannot stress enough how Arya is just an average little girl and what makes her behavior stand out is their society's strict gender norms#her life + learning almost entirely revolves around the fact that she is being raised to be a wife and people resent her for wanting more :#she is NINE in AGoT and her parents are discussing her refinement because /In a few years she will be of an age to marry/#the way misogyny is explored in Arya's story is actually so brilliant and well-written (+ underappreciated) though#we feel the full weight of how restrictive their society is through her POV and get the experiences of lower-class women too#which is why it's so significant that George wrote her based on feminists who realized they wanted more than becoming wives/housewives#she's one of his key characters who will /change the world/ but people think he's sticking her on a boat bc she isn't feminine enough 😭#thank god he's writing the books and not any of these reductive hacks who thinks misogyny is subversive 🙏🏾#sidenote: would've loved to see this from her POV to get her feelings when he said this cause I'm sure it doesn't match Ned's perception#considering he views her main issues as being stubborn/difficult while we know about the self-esteem issues she has
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[pulls up a chair w the director of 2015 rsc LLL] wait okay so what do YOU think love's labour's lost is about if you're, like, taking away the play's commentary on race and beauty standards and how that interacts with the wider "frivolity of romance" theme
#i mention the 2015 version bc that's the one i watched but this applies to my bestie (/neg) kenneth branagh As Well#rip guys one of the most interesting parts of the play but like gatekept behind the fact#that LLL is nobody's favorite play and also people keep whitewashing rosaline#love's labour's lost#mm. the whole 'beauteous as ink' line.. 'much in the letters nothing in the praise'..#as in. rosaline agrees with the physical description of herself that berowne describes but not the overwhelming praise of her beauty#and how katherine like. is supposed to have blonde hair and rosy cheeks as opposed to rosaline#and of course that whole tirade where the guys make fun of rosaline for not being fair haired/fair skinned/etc to get back at berowne#there is a SOLID amount of evidence in the text pointing to rosaline being a black woman. like three or four obvious places#and i'm not surprised greg doran picked that up bc his productions are so detail oriented#and he really mines the text for meaning and relevance and everything.#but like he cant be the only person who picked that up.. or at the very least 'read the play and made this connection'#even if you cut all those lines (and i can understand why bc some of them are very very mean spirited)#wouldn't you at least still want to keep with the spirit of the play and not cast her as white ...?#shakespeare didn't have lots of canonically nonwhite characters in his plays.. rosaline is a lead character and the main love interest..#i'm just surprised at the lack of discussion around this. even if it's not as well known or liked as othello or anything
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That one post of my mine predictably aged like fine wine. Never let somebody on comic twitter in the writer's room😭😭😭 Like imagine a 1 to 1 adaptation of literally any event?? -1b at the box office. "Who are these people???"
#Anywayyy I'm writing a retelling of DC and it is honestly so fun to imagine the characters in a new but familiar light#Like the biggest reason why I was never interested in writing fanfic before 2 months ago is because I never felt like those characters were#I felt... uncomfortable writing it not because i thought fanfic was bad or anything but because I felt it was weird to write for example#“XYZ DID THIS AND DID THAT AND DID THIS” like maybe he did?? I wouldn't know I don't know him like his creator!!!#But comic characters feel like more flexible due to the many interpretations over the years but firm enough where I can decide how to take#Certain traits and minimize them or expand on them#Also 1 to 1 adaptations suck balls to write. I'm not sure if that's universal but the whole fun of writing is coming up with new ideas#Writing a straight adaptation would be kind of writing a translation into a new medium. Which isn't bad. Novelization are literally those#But a common sentiment among writers I've seen is that Novelizations aren't that fun either unless you get to experiment either#Adapting comics into a new format and retelling them is kind of hell because you have all these intersecting plotlines and insane events#That's just tangled up in a story with a timeline that literally makes its contradictions into plot lines. But it's FUN coming up with ways#To condense a character's origin and sort of rewire it into the story you want to tell. Because yeah I think a lot of people miss is#that at end of the day#you tell stories about people and their struggles. You need to find a way to fit those moments of joy sadness love.#Like a movie about Jason Todd being RH will never be emotional as Jason Todd dying because you'll have less time to feel the love and pain#that Bruce felt for him. Like sure#flashbacks and exposition but that can only go so far. At the end of the day#It will always be about RH vs Batman. That's what people came to see. But that's not all Jason is. He was Robin before he was RH. A 1 to 1#Adaptation will never translate that to screen. Plus you (sadly) have shared universes now and a movie can only jump around in time so much#For example in my fic if I wanted to add Tim and faithful to his source material I would need to add so MUCH about Jason death#About like Bruce grieving without skipping all over that and missing the human element. It would severely mess up pacing.#I don't know i love how adaptations can make you see the characters in a new light or elevate the source material#Iwtv my beloved doesn't adapt the books exactly but reimagined in it a way that I like much more#Anyway this proves my point about comic fans being weirdly childish and omfg I hate to use this term...anti intellectual 😮💨😮💨😮💨#Everyone who writes or yknow reads should like understand this on a fundamental level. One to one adaptations are safe but boring.#Like the Psycho remake was bad not because it made bad changes but it barely made any changes.#Anyway watch amc iwtv to understand good adaptations better than your average comic stan on twtter#Not a rant I just love discussing adaptations#Long tags
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i don’t get how people can complain about the writing “doing Martha dirty” when that same writing gives her an ending that addresses her treatement over the course of the season, allows her to finally put her to foot down, to establish her self-worth as an individual and to air out her grievances, and gives her the most respectful and satisfying exit from the TARDIS we’d yet seen in the show . like it’s one thing to dislike the direction the writing team took with her arc and to criticise it (perfectly fine) and another to somehow miss it entirely lmao . the ‘martha feels out of place, second best, and like a rebound’ is an intentional piece of writing that gets resolved by the end of the season . like that wasn’t smth they threw in for shits and giggles, it had in-story repercussions
#and if u don’t think those repercussions were Enough then that’s totally cool and smth to start a discussion over#but . don’t act as if they didn’t happen lmao??#i just . yells#like i have my own criticisms about the writing (giving the ‘i feel second best to this dude’s past love interest’ to the first POC#companion was . probably not the best of choices let’s be real#though there’s some leeway there as im assuming the character was written before audtions . but still . could have been reconsidered#idk i totally understand why people aren’t fans of the storyline itself (outside of how coherent the writing is) but i think it’s a shame#that many others just kinda seem to miss the point because it’s such a unique and interesting arc to give to a companion#i like fresh ideas!! i like the doctor Actually being portrayed at someone who is clumsy with relationships and emotional intimacy!!#i like it when his trauma spills over in ugly and complex ways like we see in season 3 in regards to his friendship with martha#and i like it even better when his accidentally cruel actions and mistakes get brought up and criticised by the narrative!! like it does in#the end of s3!! it’s so good!!#i enjoy 10 because he’s my favourite wet cat but also because he is allowed to fill up room like a real traumatised individual would#it’s like . okay i enjoy ‘ooo the doctor is the oncoming storm ooo he’s hurt and killed so many people ooo’#but it’s also good to See the actual ramifications of that shit you know . hearing about his legend status is always fun but damn man#is it satisfying from a character analysis POV to see him hurt the people around him . to see him treat his friends poorly on accident#because of his own character flaws . like that’s GOOD#and it just sorta irks me sometimes bc people will have this smug attitude of ‘well MY blorbo isn’t a rude piece of shit and is actually a#paragon of morality’ and like girl i don’t give a shit . that’s fine in small doses but it’s not what’s compelling#people tend to like interacting with ‘angsty traumatised edgy characters’ if their edginess is contained in a nice little box that doesn’t#overspill . fuck no give me the characters that are loud and ugly and unpleasant about their trauma THAT’S THE REAL SHIT#jay rambles#dw.txt#10.txt#marthaj.txt#sometimes u wanna treat the blorbo from your show like a real person sure but sometimes it is better to remember that they are fictional#and there to be considered as part of a bigger story and as an item to analyse . case in poiny#point#maybe i shouldn’t be surprised by this though since people still get hung up over rose quartz
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as someone who is a huge fan of other queer content (like heartstopper and red, white and royal blue), dead boy detectives feels so incredibly different.
despite how much i love those two, they don’t feel like they’re made for queer people.
in a lot of ways, they feel like media made for cishet people about queer and trans people which is fine and doesn’t make it unenjoyable, but dbda has a totally different feel to it.
it feels like queer media made FOR queer people.
they have so much nuance to their characters and don’t shy away from it. charles openly flirts with both edwin and crystal despite the fact that he never says anything about his sexuality and edwin’s backstory doesn’t try to hide the horrifying way that queer people were treated historically and i think that’s really important.
though he is very clearly repressed, he is still unapologetically queer. he showcases his jealousy loudly and there is no doubt in the viewer’s mind that he is queer even for a moment.
same with monty and the cat king. they’re so vibrantly and boldly queer. monty begins flirting with edwin nearly the moment we see him and as does tck. what i really appreciate about tck is his gender nonconformity. i think that’s so important and i honestly really appreciate that they don’t even mention it.
with tck in particular, his actions can be considered rather predatory, but we never really feel like that’s due to his queerness which is FASCINATING because that is a really harmful stereotype of queer people, but it never feels like that’s what they’re going for or like they’re using it to demonize queerness.
with jenny, she says so casually that she’s attracted to women and it’s not even something that they have to discuss again. it’s such an unimportant aspect of her character, but it’s still so unabashedly there. i love that niko doesn’t even say anything about it when she learns, she just accepts her, no questions asked.
even with simon, he very clearly discusses his sexuality in E7 when he tells edwin that he liked him, but he never has to say the words. we just KNOW contextually because he talks around it. he i would argue that he is the only instance of a character discussing shame in their identity and it immediately results in one of the loveliest quotes in the show.
“if you punish yourself, everywhere becomes hell.”
he has spent over a century repressing himself and when he finally tells edwin, the boy he liked and treated terribly because of it, he is immediately told that it is not torture to be queer. he is immediately told that there is nothing wrong with his sexuality.
the confession scene btwn edwin and charles in E7 and the scene in E6 where edwin is TRYING to confess are so fucking important to me. nearly immediately, charles tells edwin that it doesn’t make any difference that he’s queer and that he accepts him. when he does confess, he doesn’t make him feel bad for it. he tells him that he loves him too, but that he can’t say he does in that way right now, but that he’s the most important person in his life and that that will never change.
the scene in E7 where they’re on the roof and edwin tries to apologize for potentially having made things awkward, charles shuts it down immediately. he says “it doesn’t.” and that’s the end of it.
this show exemplifies queerness through a queer light and it’s very clear who the intended audience is for dbda not to sound like i’m hating on the first two pieces of media (rwrb is literally one of my special interests, trust me, i adore them both), but maybe that’s why hs was given a third season and dbda was cancelled within five months of airing. i feel that these two pander to straight people in a lot of ways, but dbda doesn’t. it’s something that is incredibly important to me and i’m really happy about it.
#dead boy detectives#dbda#charles rowland#edwin payne#save dead boy detectives#renew dead boy detectives#revive dead boy detectives#payneland#dead boy detective agency#save dbda#we will save this show#savedeadboydetectives#jenny green#monty finch#the cat king#queer media#this is the importance of good queer media#his story is queer! (astronaut gun) always has been#red white & royal blue#rwrb#heartstopper#queer media analysis#media analysis#dbda meta
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LIAR, LIAR!
PAIRING — kim mingyu x fem!reader
❝ AND THE DANCE FLOOR IS FILLING UP WITH BLOOD, BUT OH LORD, YOU’VE NEVER BEEN SO IN LOVE! ❞
WORD COUNT — 17k
SYNOPSIS — in a dramatic turn of events, a rich businessman is found dead in his lavish estate, and the authorities believe it was no accident. as the detectives dig deeper, they ultimately end up with two key suspects: you, the businessman’s very own daughter, and your sworn enemy, kim mingyu. as the time progresses, tensions rise and secrets spill — and the truth has the power to either bring you closer together or tear you apart.
TAGS — murder mystery, rich rivals to partners in crime to lovers, whole lotta plot, explicit sexual content, somewhat graphic depictions of death, everyone and everything is dysfunctional™, mentions of suicide, unrealistic circumstances, moral compass is nowhere to be found, angst, medium long hair!gyu bc self-indulgence, tsundere-ish reader again guys sorry i love her so bad, mentions of parental neglect, this ended up so long help
♪ verydeadly - wolves (kanye west cover),, low - dancing and blood,, vessel - red sex,, florence + the machine - mermaids,, zayn - bordersz,, mikky ekko - who are you, really?,, q - alone,, danna paola - tenemos que hablar,, blue foundation - eyes on fire (4 ave version),, summer camp - i want you
NOTE — one of my favorite episodes of going seventeen remains bad clue 2020, i loved mingyu’s role in it and i could totally see him portraying darker/morally grey characters and rock tf out of it so. i wrote this solely based on that idea. the music recs above are also really nice to get into the vibe! enjoyyyy :D
[ ONE ] ✧˚ · .⋆ ★ [ JUMP TO PART TWO ]
i. ASK ME THE TRUTH AND I’LL TELL YOU A LIE
the interrogation room is unnecessarily bright, the noise of the water dispenser in the corner and the flickering led light above you running through your ears. the chair you’re seated on is uncomfortable, though it’s nothing compared to the tension you feel as the man in front of you treats you like you’re guilty of something.
“on september 2nd, around six o’clock, your father reportedly got unwell, so he left his office early, choosing to do the rest of his paperwork at home. according to the information we got from the gps tracker in his car, he went straight home, took no detours. he arrived at your family estate thirty minutes later. then at eight o’clock, the police receives a call from you, saying your father hung himself.”
you stare at the the inspector — whose name you did not bother remembering — before waving with your hand. “i’m aware. i’ve heard the recap of events many times at this point. this isn’t the first time i’m being interrogated, surprisingly enough.”
with a puzzled look, he raises his brow at you. “you don’t think you should be a suspect?”
“no, i don’t.”
“at the time of the incident, you were home, as well as two members of the staff. since the staff were on their dinner break and you were apparently in your room, it’s hard to say what exactly happened, since there were no witnesses.”
“do you mind me asking why you think it’s murder and not just a suicide?”
he’s intrigued by the way you discuss the topic so casually. “your father was an important man. wouldn’t you want to know who killed him if that were the case?”
“sure. i’d thank them.” you smile at him, the hatred for your father shining through. “believe me, inspector — my father was a miserable man who surrounded himself with miserable people. i wasn’t there by choice.”
“did he treat you badly, then?” he continues, trying to pry any information out of you.
all you can do is sigh. “i was his daughter in blood and name only. nothing more.”
with your demeanor softening into something sadder, the inspector’s tone changes into something different. “aside from you, and the staff, of course, we do have another suspect who we think could have something to do with your father’s death.”
that sparks your interest. “who?”
the inspector grabs his small pile of documents to pull a printed photo out of it, putting it before you. you visibly frown, because the person on the photo is someone you’re unfortunately awfully familiar with.
“kim mingyu is a suspect? seriously?” you ask, completely in shock. ironically, he’s the last person you’d suspect in a scenario like the one you currently find yourself in.
“what can you tell me about him?”
leaning back in your chair, you list a few things. “he’s a year younger than me. we went to the same high school, same university, have some of the same friends. though all of that is relatively common in our social circle.”
“anything else?”
keeping the insults to yourself for now, you press your lips together. “our parents are good friends. well, were, now that my father’s gone. mingyu and i hate eachother to the bone, though.”
“any particular reason why?”
“i’m not sure where it started… there’s just something off about him. it’s always been there. he’s—beyond arrogant. always showing off his looks, his wealth, his charm, his intelligence. everything. he insults me, i insult him. we simply don’t get along, never have. nothing you haven’t seen before, i’m sure.”
the inspector raises his brow. “i think you may have left something out.”
“such as?”
his hand moves into the blue folder sitting on the table, taking another photo out of it, holding it up before you. “your father was often spotted with him. at events, business meetings — you name it. matter of fact, your father seemed to be accompanied by kim mingyu more than anyone else. which is interesting, considering you are his only child.”
your gaze turns sour, voice softer yet more hateful than before. “don’t tell me this is the reason i’m a suspect.”
“let’s just say it doesn’t make you look good.”
“you really believe i murdered my own father in cold blood because he cared more about kim mingyu than he ever did about me? that’s pathetic and ridiculous.”
“you wouldn’t be the first. it’s a plausible story.”
scoffing at the accusation, you shake your head. “we’re done here. the moment you have an actual lead, i’ll talk, but not like this. i’m still here grieving and you’re accusing me of being the culprit.” you get up in anger, taking your bag with you before slamming the door shut, not bothering to listen to what the man is trying to tell you to make you stay.
this whole shit-train started two weeks ago. your father was found dead in your childhood home, hung by a rope around his neck. instead of calling it a death by suicide, the police apparently have enough reason to suspect it was a homicide.
you’ve been questioned several times in the past few weeks, but there’s been a gradual shift in the behavior of the inspector and his handimen — they’re treating you like a suspect now.
which you are, for whatever reason. they have yet to come up with any actual evidence.
your contact in the police force mentioned to you that you’re not just any suspect — you’re one of the two main suspects.
and that is unsettling, especially when you discovered who else is.
as you go down the hall, you suddenly lock eyes with kim mingyu himself, who’s leaning against the wall with his hands in the pockets of his trousers. a few strands of hair hover by his cheeks, framing his strong features.
“what the fuck are you doing here?” you ask in a rather hostile manner, the scowl on your face deepening.
his lips part before he starts explaining. “they wanted to talk to me. again.”
“haven’t you heard the rumors, gyu?” you mockingly use the nickname, taking a step closer to him, “they’re saying there’s a possibility you killed him.”
your arch-nemesis looks back at you with a furrowed brow. “that’s ridiculous.”
“is it? you were always with him… it’s perhaps the only thing that makes sense in all of this.”
he seems offended you’d even insinuate something like that. “it’s really the other way around, though. you’re the one who hated him. i had nothing against the man.”
it’s true that you and your father didn’t exactly get along, especially the past few years, to put it lightly. you always considered him to be greedy, cold and unforgiving, and you certainly didn’t cry the moment they told you he had passed away.
“no, we all know how much you liked him,” you hardly make an effort to hide your disdain, “but they must not believe that, considering you’re just as much of a suspect as i am.”
he clenches his jaw. “i’m not guilty.”
“neither am i.” you state. like always, there’s a tangible coldness to your voice, which he finds soothing, for whatever reason.
it’s quiet for a moment as you’re both unsure of what to say next, a rarity between you.
a few years ago, your father mentioned you and mingyu could make a good pair.
you proceeded to laugh in his face.
mingyu is a constant reminder of what you could be, and that’s the last thing you need in your life.
“if i find out you’re somehow involved in this—”
instead of immediately refuting the statement, he narrows his eyes at you. “then what?”
you realize you need to be careful with your words here — you can’t throw around threats to kill people as the top suspect in a murder investigation. “i’ll make sure you pay for it. they might buy your little golden-boy act, but i sure as shit don’t. i never have.”
a smirk subtly tugs at his lips as he leans more down, eyes flicking lower before they meet yours again. “i’d be careful with my words if i were you,” he firmly tells you, his lashes fluttering, “there’s always someone watching.”
only now do you take notice of how close you’re standing to him, and you look behind you, seeing the inspector that just interrogated you observing you and mingyu from a distance.
so you push yourself away from him, giving him a last glare before walking away.
mingyu only moves from his spot once you’re gone from his field of view, greeting the inspector with a kind smile.
ii. THE HATRED WE BEAR
you find yourself staring at your father’s tombstone with a numb face and the wind breezing through your hair. your makeup is slightly smudged under your eyes from the tears you shed just an hour before, while you were giving the public a final speech regarding his passing.
the funeral was long — too long.
at a certain point, once the whole thing was done and everyone left, you decided to take a quiet moment for yourself in the graveyard to let everything sink in.
you made the mistake of thinking you’d left alone.
a voice you’re too familiar with speaks up behind you. “i’m sorry for your loss.”
of course it’s kim mingyu out of all people who’s still here, sneaking up on you.
you don’t have the energy to make a snarky comment this time. “i’d ask why you’re still here, but it’s a question i already know the answer to.”
he still offers you his answer. “i’m here to check up on you.”
well, that takes you by surprise. “why?”
“you lost the one parent you had left. i don’t want you to be alone.”
something about that sentence fuels a sudden anger in you. he’s got some fucking nerve, saying that to you. “maybe you should’ve considered that a couple years ago. you know, before you decided to become my dad’s little protege.”
even as a little girl, your bond with your father was a shitty one. your mother passed when you were young, so you barely have any memories left of her.
in an attempt to win his love and affection, you always did everything your father asked of you, yet your efforts were hardly acknowledged. you found him to be a harsh and cruel man, but surely with you being his daughter, his only child, he must’ve cared for you. or so you always told yourself.
something about your yearning for his approval and support changed for the worse when mingyu’s mother became a prominent business partner to your father, about nine years ago. it made him spend more time with the kim family, and you have no idea how or why it happened, but mingyu became like a son for him.
you saw how well your dad treated him, and you cried for a long, long time as you compared it to his neglect towards you. for every pat on mingyu’s back, you got scolded for not being good enough. whenever he got praised, you got discarded. it’s no miracle that you came to be the way that you are. detached, perceptive, appearing to be just as unfeeling as the man who raised you.
you hated your father. with all your heart.
but you grew to hate kim mingyu more.
so to hear him say that he doesn’t want you to be alone — that takes the goddamn cake.
he lowers his head at your words. “it wasn’t like that.”
“right. of course it wasn’t.” your voice is painfully spiteful.
“i wouldn’t have done it if i knew it was at your expense. i’m sorry.”
he’s trying to be nice to you, not understanding yet that it’s actually doing more damage, making you angrier. “the last thing i want is your fucking pity.”
“then what do you want?”
“nothing you can give me.” it’s a subtle final warning coming from you, because you’re actually about to explode at him. “just leave me be.”
“please, just... i wanna help you.”
like a ticking time bomb, you suddenly hit your limit. finally, you turn around, facing him, and it’s only then that he truly sees how upset you are, like a storm suddenly changing its direction, and he’s in the way.
“help me? you’d help me by getting the fuck out of my face. you wanna know what i want, mingyu? i want to know what in god’s name everyone loves so much about you, what it is that made my father shut me out completely and replace me with you. he gave you more love than he ever gave me. just looking at you makes me sick. what the fuck did he see in you that he didn’t see in me?” you ask, unable to stop yourself from pouring your emotions out to the guy in front of you. “why did he hate me so much? even in death, he favors you over me. he left you... everything. a final ‘fuck you’ to his own child. and for what? for you?”
the fact that you got word from your father’s lawyer that your father chose to leave everything he had to mingyu instead of you was like the straw that broke the camel’s back.
throughout your life, you always did what was expected of you. you were the perfect daughter.
and for what?
the fact that your father grew to hate you and love this asshole so much that he left you not a single penny to your name — that is your tipping point.
and mingyu just wordlessly allows you to continue ranting, almost as if he deserves it.
“what the fuck is so special about you, huh? because i don’t get it. sure, you’ve got a nice face and you’re a smart guy, but i don’t believe you actually give a shit about others. i bet you came here today to rub my dad’s inheritance in my face — you fucking pretentious douchebag.”
“i’m sorry. i never meant—” he stumbles, nearly falling over as he backs away while you keep stepping forward, feeling surprisingly small in front of you, in spite of his tall frame.
“i don’t give a shit if this is what you intended to happen or not! i’m all alone.” you show your sadness right between the anger and hostility, vulnerable in front of him. “no family like everyone else, no money, no house, nothing. abandoned by the one person i had left.”
he looks at you as if you’ve just slapped him across the face. he’s never even shown you a hint of vulnerability — nor have you for that matter — so why is he showing it now?
you’re too deep into your breakdown to think rationally about it. “you took literally everything that i had. and i’ll never forgive you for that.”
“please, let me—let me fix it.” he chokes out, as overwhelmed by your strong emotions as you are yourself.
the harshness of your words makes him feel like he’s crumbling in your presence. “talk to me like you care about me one more goddamn time, and i’ll make you regret ever meeting me in the first place.”
in all the years that you’ve known him, you don’t think you’ve ever seen him flinch — you doubt any of your words have ever hurt him.
until this moment, it seems. but why is he even hurt? you don’t care about him and he doesn’t care about you. it’s always been that way, and you have a hard time believing it’ll ever change.
the moment you walk away from him with a sharp pain in your chest, pushing him to the side by his shoulder, he’s left behind in a shocked and bewildered state, neither of you aware that a pair of curious eyes witnessed the whole exchange.
iii. ULTERIOR MOTIVES
“the full inheritance of your father has been transferred over to you.”
the cup of tea you were raising stills with your hand. your eyes narrow at your lawyer as you’re seated in the garden of your father’s estate. “what—how? why? it wasn’t passed down to me.”
“no, but the person it was passed down to can always make the decision to pass it on. and he did — surprisingly with no strings attached,” he tells you, putting the document from the notary in front of you, “i had it all double-checked. everything’s there, the documents signed by kim mingyu himself.”
just hearing the name makes you grimace, putting you off your tea. “and there’s absolutely nothing he wants from me?”
“nothing was mentioned, no. he did, however, leave you a note.”
“what does it say?”
your lawyer raises his brow as he reads it, handing it to you instead of reading it out loud, which makes you give him a puzzled look before casting your eyes downwards to the piece of paper.
tomorrow, 4:30, my apartment. all you have to do is sign the papers. i look forward to the day you’ll make me regret meeting you.
“that asshole.” you mutter to yourself, not loud enough for your lawyer to hear it, but he’s certainly got an idea of how you feel about the whole situation.
“you do, of course, always have the option to reject the inheritance, but i would highly recommend not to. frankly, in all of my years of experience in this field, i’ve never felt a bigger need to encourage a client to take a deal.”
once you’ve picked up the documents and skimmed over the words, you look back at him. “and if i did accept it, it wouldn’t contain any possible implications for me in the long term?”
“none. it is... fairly remarkable he’s willing to give you the full inheritance for nothing in return, even if he and his family are known for their wealth. but it wouldn’t be a significant loss for him, considering the capital he already has to his name.” the man explains, not needing to spell it out for you.
you put down your cup. “knowing him, i’m not so sure he doesn’t want anything. i suppose i’ll have to talk to him about it myself, tomorrow.”
your lawyer highly encourages you to do so, leaving you to spend the rest of the day wondering what he could possibly want from you.
and so the following day, at 4:30 sharp, you step into his apartment — penthouse is the more fitting term. you’ll admit, though, that he’s got style.
it’s dead silent in his place, save for the metronome in the background and the slow brew of his coffee machine. he’s wearing a white long-sleeved shirt with black trousers as he approaches you. “glad you could make it. coffee?”
“why are you willing to give me the inheritance?” you ask directly, not feeling up for the unnecessary chitchat. you’ve always hated small talk. “if it was just a set-up, i’m leaving.”
he doesn’t seem to be even the slightest bit surprised by your forwardness. “i’m willing to give it to you because a) i don’t need it, and b) i don’t want it. i think it’s ridiculous your dad set up his will like this.”
“well, that makes two of us.” you fake a polite smile, clearly very sarcastically, putting your hand on your hip. “you asked me to come sign the papers, but i have yet to see them.”
mingyu smiles a little at you. of course you’d skip straight to business — you never were a girl of many words. he walks over to a cupboard and takes a sealed folder with the documents out of a drawer, handing it to you.
when you attempt to take the folder from him, he swiftly retracts his hand like the asshole he is. “it’s not completely free, though.”
you pinch the bridge of your nose. “of course. i should’ve known better than to believe you were willing to do something out of the kindness of your own heart.”
he just keeps going as if he didn’t hear you, very much used to the little quips you throw at him by now. “don’t worry, i think you can manage this very small task for me.”
“just tell me what you want already—”
“my family’s hosting a gala next week, on friday. i’d like you to be my date.”
you’re baffled. this is what he wants in return for the inheritance worth millions of dollars? to have you on his arm for a single night?
oh, hell no. you’re not falling for it.
“why? you wanna publicly humiliate me or something?” you question, a deep frown settled in your forehead.
he huffs, annoyed that you’d think that low of him. “i know we’ve always hated eachother, but, maybe, during a hard time… it would be nice to have one relaxed night. and yeah, i wouldn’t mind doing that with a pretty girl to keep me company. what do you say? deal?”
not once in all the years you’ve known him has he ever called you pretty.
“fine. but don’t think about pulling any stunts.”
“wouldn’t dare.” his smile sits somewhere beween teasing and serious when he finally hands you the papers.
you sit down and briefly scan the documents, not signing them right away to have them checked by your lawyer first. “if everything in this is according to the plan, you’ll have them signed by tomorrow morning.”
“okay. see you friday.” he winks at you, escorting you to his front door, a subtle grin on his face that gives off the impression he’s planning something, and you can only imagine what it might be.
there is one good thing about having to spend time in his family home, though — and that’s to search his rooms to find anything that might implicate him having something to do with your father’s murder.
since there’s still a culprit to be named.
with your own agenda in mind, you walk out of his apartment, searching for the name of your stylist in your contacts.
you’re going to need a dress, after all.
iv. A PROPOSAL
with a stern look on your face, you look at the entrance of the gala from the tinted window of your car. it’s all bright lights and colorful decorations, candles, flowers — the kim family is well known for their luxurious and memorable parties. you’ve attended plenty of them. while you and mingyu may not get along, his sister and mother are genuine sweethearts, some of the kindest and most welcoming people you know.
if only you could say the same for the asshole you’re about to spend the evening with.
after checking your makeup in the pocket-sized mirror for a final time, your driver opens your door so you can step out of the car, which leaves you on your own in front of the stairs.
mingyu originally mentioned he wanted to pick you up at your home like the gentleman he very much claims to be, but you very quickly shut the idea down and told him you’d just meet him at his family’s mansion.
so here you are.
attending a gala only a month after your father’s funeral must seem like an… interesting choice, to say the least. the people you come across express their condolences and ask if you’re doing well — you wonder if the sentiment is real or not — and you tell them you’re here because it serves well as a distraction.
you’ve become an excellent liar over the years.
as you’re standing at the top of the stairs, leaning on the railing, you observe the people on the dance floor below. those who aren’t dancing are chattering, the noises of clinking glasses and laughter filling your ears.
most of the time, you’re able to somewhat enjoy this life. but the truth is that it can be as exhausting as it is glamorous.
but with your last living parent gone, you do feel a sense of freedom, even if it is lonely at times.
not like you didn’t feel lonely when he was still alive.
you didn’t love him or care for your father. you cared for the hope that someday he would change. that he would show you he did care for you, even a little bit.
but that day never came.
he was primarily an investor, so at least you haven’t been burdened with having to take over a business or anything like it. having no siblings either, you feel like you should take this opportunity to start fresh; focus on building your own career and use your father’s money for things he’d never approve of.
suddenly, you spot your date in the midst of the crowd, breaking you out of your train of thoughts. his half-long hair looks pretty on him, you have to admit, the few strands in front of his face paired with the tailored, navy suit giving him the appearance of a model.
he’s currently talking to an older woman who clearly seems to adore him, the smile he puts up making her give him a gentle, loving squeeze on his upper arms. like always, no one is able to read the bitterness you feel as your face remains neutral.
growing up in your restricted social circle of the country’s wealthiest families, your group of peers wasn’t extremely big. you all went to the same primary school, same private high school. mingyu was always one of if not the most popular kid at school. an effortless ace at every fucking thing. everyone loved him, be it your peers or their parents.
you wouldn’t say you weren’t popular. quite the opposite, actually. your best friend was the queen bee of the school, as she was always striving to be the best in everything. top of the class, highest achievements, a true perfectionist at heart. bold, definitely a bit judgemental and classist too, but once she’s your friend, she’s the sweetest girl in the world. she did like to dabble in some drama with others if it came onto her path.
and you were the opposite. you preferred to steer clear of any drama, much preferring to watch it unfold from the sidelines — as you usually just didn’t care enough to interfere with it — and you were never quite as talkative as your best friend.
the sentences leaving your mouth are always quick, direct, sharp and without stutter. you’re masterful at small talk, even though you hate it. you know how to play people like a fiddle. your father made you use your manipulation skills to good use rather frequently.
many consider you cold and calculated.
which is true, of course. but you still have a heart, even if it barely beats.
the outburst you gave mingyu after your father’s funeral must’ve come as a shock to him. no one has ever seen you in such a vulnerable and weak state, and out of all the people who could’ve seen it, it naturally had to be him — and that makes you uncomfortable.
once he’s finished his conversation, he looks in front of him, then up at the balcony — and he locks eyes with you.
you give him a look of acknowledgment, but that’s it. he doesn’t seem to mind, though, still shining as brightly as ever, making his way up the stairs as fast as he can. “i’m sorry i wasn’t at the entrance to greet you, i didn’t think you’d be here so soon.”
“it’s fine.”
he glances up and down, admiring the dress you chose. “you look gorgeous.”
the deeply dark green dress with its boat neckline, long and fitted sleeves and intricate gold embroidery makes you look elegant. with the dress itself already being quite the statement piece, you chose to pair it with dainty earrings, your hair half-up and curled.
“thank you.” you don’t bother saying anything about his appearance. he must be used to it at this point.
“can i get you something to drink?”
you test the waters by throwing in a joke. “what, planning on poisoning me?”
his eyes flicker for a moment, stricken by something you can’t quite place, which makes you blink at him. his flirtatious and charming self returns within a mere second, and he proceeds to snicker at your joke. “i could, but where’d be the fun in that?”
rolling your eyes at him, you take his arm once he’s offered it, keeping in mind you’re doing this for the inheritance.
the time goes by quicker than expected. he introduces you to some of the people he’s close with, tells you stories you’ve never heard before, even asks you about yours.
a few of his friends come by as well, surprised to see you by mingyu’s side. most people your age here know that you and him have never quite gotten along, to put it lightly.
when they subtly ask about it, mingyu tells them he insisted you came to distract yourself from the death of your father, and that you could probably use a party.
it raises more question marks as to what his motive is for asking you to be here tonight. what is he gaining from this? he hasn’t humiliated you yet. if anything, he’s only spoken of you highly, save for the little snark he keeps between the two of you.
it’s strange. really strange.
after a while, once all the guests have been drinking a bit, you decide to set your own plan in motion. this might be your only chance to snoop around here, as you doubt you’ll find yourself in here again anytime soon.
you’re literally invited in his home — you’d be a fool not to check his room.
unfortunately, just as you try to disappear from the crowd, mingyu extends his hand to you. “dance with me?”
just as you’re about to refuse him, you remember that this is the one night you have to be nice to him, all so he can give you the inheritance that was meant to be yours in the first place.
with a small sigh, you slide your hand in his, at which he grins triumphantly.
before you know it, you’re in the middle of the room together, and he has his one hand on your lower back, the other hand intertwined with yours. he’s smooth with his moves, you have to admit.
the question has already left your mouth when you process it. “why am i here? i’m sure there’s a reason i needed to be your date tonight.”
mingyu cocks his head at you. “i think you’ve had to endure a lot the past couple weeks. the incident, the interrogations, the press, the shit with the inheritance — i’m impressed you haven’t lost your mind yet.”
“how do you know i haven’t?” you ask, and he twirls you around, his hands feeling like they’re burning on your skin. “wasn’t my breakdown after the funeral enough to prove you otherwise?”
“well, looking back, i should’ve probably left you alone in that moment. but i did think about what you said, and you can correct me if i’m wrong, but i feel like your father and our ties to him were what made us hate eachother so much. now that he’s gone, maybe we can… i don’t know. tolerate one another.”
you make sure to hide your confusion from him. does he really not see it? sure, the main reason you’ve always despised mingyu was because of his relationship with your father, but you weren’t exactly best friends before that either.
even putting it like that would still make it the understatement of the year.
if he actually pictures the two of you becoming friends, though, he’s lost it.
unsure of what to tell him, you give him a shitty excuse to escape the conversation. “i’m just gonna use the ladies’ room, if you don’t mind.” you let mingyu know, and he nods at you in acknowledgement, caught off guard by you leaving so suddenly.
so you walk off, the voices of the people and the music in the hall fading into the background as you trail off.
now that you’re alone, you can finally go check his room.
it’s harder to navigate the mansion than you thought. hallways that all look similar, god knows how many rooms — you hope you won’t get lost here.
one of your best friends is good friends with mingyu’s sister, and so she knows the place like the back of her hand. when you asked her for the layout of the place, she did think it strange, but you told her she had nothing to worry about.
mingyu’s bedroom and study are supposedly on the third floor of the east wing, and the party takes place in the west wing.
so that’s just fucking great.
your best friend did warn you that he most often keeps his doors locked whenever visitors are present, so to ensure you could get in, you snatched the key from his pocket when he was dancing with you earlier.
it almost makes you chuckle when you think about how easy it was.
when you’ve finally arrived at what seems to be the door to mingyu’s room, you double-check the environment around you to see whether anyone’s following you, and when it appears to be safe, you shove the key into the lock, twisting it.
you exhale when realizing it’s the right key.
entering the room, you quickly shut it behind you, taking in the sight.
it’s raining outside, which you take notice of through the large windows. several paintings adorn the walls — you didn’t know he was a lover of art — as well as some photos of him with his family.
the room is surprisingly tidy, his clothes all neatly folded on the wooden planks in his closet and the drawers underneath. the few books he has sitting on top of the cupboard are gathering dust — you suppose he doesn’t like to read all that much.
of course he doesn’t.
his king-sized bed seems soft and comfortable, and the room smells of the cologne and perfume he always wears.
you blink a few times, realizing you’re dwelling too much on details that are not a priority right now.
which is enough to snap you awake, a rush of adrenaline moving through your veins as you look for anything interesting. files, documents, notebooks — anything.
you find his agenda in a drawer of his desk. with slightly trembling fingers, you move the pages back to the date of your father’s death, as well as the days before that.
as you’re caught up with doing so, you momentarily forget the first rule of breaking into a forbidden space: never turn your back to a door when you should be watching it.
“you know, i’m starting to think you agreeing to be my date came with ulterior motives on your side.” you suddenly hear mingyu’s voice behind you, at which you turn around, looking a bit too guilty for comfort.
your voice almost gets caught up in your throat, but you keep your composure. “if it makes you feel any better, i didn’t plan this.”
“it’s alright.” he responds, closing the door behind him smoothly, as if he doesn’t want you to see it. “you still think i had something to do with your father’s death, don’t you?”
“i’m not sure. i don’t see why you would, now that you’ve given me the inheritance. what other motive could you have?”
all mingyu does is clench his jaw at the rhetorical question. then he snaps out of it, his eyes trailing to the desk you’re currently leaning on. he takes a few steps closer to you, and you raise a brow, waiting in anticipation what he’ll do.
his face is suddenly very close to yours, and you’re almost convinced he’s leaning in to touch you when he reaches for the drawer behind you instead. “well, as a matter of fact, i did have something to show you.”
that surprises you.
“your father always carried a little red notebook with him. it’s the only part of the inheritance i didn’t give you, solely because i wanted to show you myself. there’s a few strange scribblings in it, with locations and numbers, and look at this—” he opens it up in front of you, pointing at the paper with his index finger, “apparently he felt like he was being followed just days before he died. maybe the police is right and he did get murdered.”
“yeah, i already figured he probably pissed off the wrong guy.” when he looks at you hopefully, you shrug. “what?”
“we should check it out, right? find out who killed him.”
you immediately shake your head at his suggestion. “no.”
mingyu’s whole body language changes, genuine confusion overtaking his features. “what do you mean, no?”
“he was caught up in all kinds of shit, things i never wanted to be a part of. that’s no different now that he’s six feet under.”
“are you not the slightest bit curious who killed him?”
“frankly, no, i’m not. i’d say whoever is guilty did me a favor.”
despite your valid point, he persists. “okay, then how about this — what if this person would come after you for whatever reason? don’t you want to know who you’re dealing with?”
you narrow your eyes at him. “why do you care so much, mingyu? i’m sure this is something you could manage on your own.”
the sudden question surprises him, so he shrugs. “maybe i’m not sure why. but i do. and you know i did care for him.”
“why don’t you just let the police handle it?”
“because they don’t know this world — and we have access to places, people they wouldn’t even know where to find or how to deal with. have you talked to the detectives? they’re amateurs.” he answers, pausing before taking a step closer to you. “he’s dead either way, doing a small bit of research might be interesting. who knows what you might find.”
“and you wanna do this with me of all people because...?”
he rolls his eyes at the question. “you were the only other person directly affected by it. c’mon, am i really so bad that you can’t even deal with me for a little while?”
the fact that you just give him a deadpan stare tells him all he needs to know.
it makes you bite your lip. you don’t feel like doing this at all, certainly not with mingyu of all people, but he appears to be ready to do this with or without you.
besides, you do feel up for a little adventure.
“fine, i’ll bite. hypothetically, what if i were interested in finding out who killed him?”
the young man in front of you tilts his head. “then i’d suggest we work together and do some digging.”
pursing your lips, you watch his pleased expression when he notices you’re actually considering it. “why do i feel like i’m gonna regret this?”
“maybe you will. maybe you won’t. we can go right back to hating eachother after this, but for now, we’ll be partners. deal?”
your eyes linger on the hand he’s stretched out to you, and even as you’re hesitant to take it, he doesn’t take his eyes off you.
with a sigh, you shake his hand. “okay. deal.”
v. PARTNERS IN CRIME
“for someone so organized, he sure as hell has a lot of unnecessary shit lying around here.” mingyu mutters, searching through the drawers of the cupboard.
you scoff in agreement. “tell me about it.”
the two of you are rummaging through your father’s study in your home in an attempt to find anything interesting as to what he might’ve been up to the past few years.
so far, you’ve had zero luck with it.
you already figured there’d probably be nothing of interest here, but mingyu insisted, said it would be stupid not to. so here you are.
“you know, i’m pretty sure my dad wouldn’t be as stupid as to just leave traces of his criminal affiliations lying around in his study.”
mingyu shrugs while simultaneously looking into a drawer. “you never know.”
“he was an asshole, but he was a smart one.” you mumble to yourself as you go through the little notebook mingyu just handed you a few minutes ago.
he watches you with curiosity. “can i ask you something?”
without looking up at him, you give him a rather direct response. “i’m sure you’ll ask me regardless of my answer to that question.”
ever so indifferent, he thinks. if anything, one thing about you he is actually fond of is your unfiltered attitude. more people should be like that. “you said you’d never forgive me for what i did to you."
hearing those words makes you look up at him. you’re surprised he’s taking an approach this straightforward with you. “i know what i said.”
“is there nothing i can do to at least make things more civil between us?”
god, you’re sick of him already.
instead of outright telling him you hate him more than anyone else you know, you cross your arms over your chest and fire a question right back at him. “why do you want things to be different between us? don’t tell me you’re losing sleep over it, now.”
mingyu pauses a moment before he answers you. “i thought about the things you said, when you were upset with me, and i realized i’ve made your life harder without having intended to do so. and yeah, i am losing sleep over it.”
while he does appear earnest, you don’t exactly trust him, so all you do is shrug your shoulders.
he wants to say something right when his phone rings. once he picks up, you figure it must be something business-related, judging by the tone of his voice and formal language.
an apology directed at you leaves his mouth as soon as he’s hit the red button on his screen. “i’m sorry. an important business meeting was moved and i promised my mom i’d be there.”
you’ve met mingyu’s mother a few times, at events. she’s the ceo of a very prominent hotel business. many of the highest ranked hotels around the world are under her care, and she clearly knows what she’s doing, since her business has been thriving for many years at this point. you remember it was her who took over as ceo after mingyu’s father passed in a car accident when he was younger.
“then you better get going.” you tell him, your face not pulling a single muscle. you hope he didn’t think you were going to ask him to stay.
he nods at your words, taking the jacket with his initials embroidered in the tag and slinging it over his arm. “yeah. i’ll call you.” he says, going out the doorway, yet your voice makes him halt in his tracks.
“mingyu.” you say his name to him, an unfamiliar feeling on your tongue, and he turns to look back at you.
he awaits your words, catching the subtle warning in your eyes as you refer back to the question of his you had yet to answer.
“we may be working together now — call us associates, or even partners in crime — but once this is over, we’ll go right back to strangers. let’s just keep this… somewhat professional.”
you find he can be surprisingly hard to read from time to time, for a guy who wears his heart on his sleeve. after blankly staring at you for a few seconds, processing the words, he just offers you a little smile and a gentle response. “okay.”
and he walks off, only leaving you more intrigued than before.
for two days, it’s complete radio silence from mingyu. all he asked you over text was if you’d been able to find anything in the study, to which you replied with a simple no. he didn’t say anything else.
you sincerely thought this whole investigation of yours wasn’t actually gonna lead to anything, that it was useless — until now.
it’s eleven o’clock, dark outside, the metronome ticking in the background of your living room as your eyes are glued to the screen of your laptop.
you just got a notification from the bank that someone made a significant withdrawal from one of your father’s bank accounts, one that still needs to be signed over to your name.
question is, who the fuck has access to your father’s bank account besides you?
no one. supposedly.
staring at mingyu’s contact in your phone, you twist your lips, unsure of whether to call him about this or not.
going against your gut, you press on his phone number and wait for him to answer the call.
nothing.
for good measure, you call him a second time. same result.
then it hits you. you spoke to wonwoo last night — he mentioned something about him and mingyu going out together this evening.
wonwoo, thankfully, does pick up his phone. “hey. what’s up?”
“hey. are you with mingyu right now?”
“yeah, why?”
“where are you?”
“uh—” he stutters out an address in the middle of the city, clearly confused by the urgency in your voice. “what’s going on? what do you need mingyu for?”
“well, it’s hard to explain. anyway, i’m coming over.”
“he’s kind of—”
you quickly interrupt him by hanging up. taking your wallet and car keys, you head out. the address wonwoo’s given you is located in the club scene downtown, and you make it there in no-time with the navigation on your phone.
parking your car across the block, you get out and check your phone, heading to wherever wonwoo and mingyu currently are. you usually tend to go for the clubs at the other side of the city, as the vibe feels a little different here, but you’ve been around the neighborhood a couple times, so it’s not entirely unfamiliar to you.
when you arrive at the club, you catch the sight of your friend leaning against the stone wall outside.
jeon wonwoo, all handsome in his expensive jacket and sleek shoes, looks surprised when he notices you of all people coming up to him, even though you told him you were coming. his voice is soft when he greets you. “hey. you gonna tell me what exactly you’re doing here?”
shrugging your shoulders, you put your hands in the pockets of your black coat. “you said you were here with mingyu. i gotta talk to him.”
“right now?”
taking note of his baffled reaction, you tilt your head to the side. “yes, right now. i don’t care if he’s occupied.”
wonwoo brings a cigarette to his lips, pushing the pair of dark-rimmed glasses higher up his nose. “what’s going on with you and him, anyway? i thought you hated each other.”
“we still do.”
“well, something’s changed.”
“believe me, wonwoo, i don’t like him any more than he likes me.”
all he does is narrow his dark eyes at you.
just when you want to open the backdoor to the club, wonwoo stops you. “you do know what kind of establishment this place is, right?”
frowning at him, you open the door just the slightest bit to check whatever he’s getting at, and once you catch sight of the pink and red lights, sensual music and metal poles attached to the ceiling, you momentarily close the door again.
right. this must be one of those clubs that are hidden from the prying eyes of non-customers, to give the illusion there’s nothing going on behind these walls, giving the rich clients some privacy in their activities.
you roll your eyes. “when you said you were going to the club, i didn’t think you meant a strip club.”
“i was about to tell you when you hung up on me.”
“so why are you out here and not in there with him?”
“because i wanted to smoke and he felt like heading into a more secluded space. with company, no doubt.”
oh, this is gonna be fun. since kim mingyu pretty much ruined your life, the very least you can do in return is ruin his night. you briefly chuckle to yourself. ���alright. well, have fun smoking.”
“you’re still going in?” he calls after you, and all you can do is scoff.
“you think i care whether kim mingyu’s gonna have a good time or not?”
“forget i asked.” he responds, the hint of a smile tugging at his facial features. “i’ll wait here ‘til you get back.”
you shoot him a knowing smirk before stepping into the club. remaining in the background, you scan the area to see if there’s a glimpse of him somewhere.
at the other side of the bar, a man seems to be on watch in front of a separate hallway, so you figure that’s where the jackpot is.
not bothering to look back at the bartender, whose gaze trails after you, you head over to where you need to be, which is where you’re stopped in your path, as expected.
“these are occupied private rooms, ma’am.” a bouncer tells you.
“look, sir, i…” you begin, coming up with some bullshit excuse to get past him, “i’m pretty sure i saw my boyfriend just go in here with a dancer. all i want is a confirmation, i’m not looking to start drama.”
before the man can respond, you wordlessly hold up a small stack of hundred dollar bills between your index and middle finger, waiting for him to take the bribe.
works like a charm wherever you go.
his demeanor changes once he sees the money. “what’s he look like?”
“tall, dark medium-long hair, brown eyes, pretty handsome — though that’s probably subjective.” you shrug, adding a little fake smile to it. you can get far in life with a little charm and money.
the few generic features seem to be enough for the bouncer to know who you’re talking about. he takes the money from your hand, pointing his finger at one of the more secluded rooms in the back.
“go for room number six.” he says, stepping to the side so you can pass him.
thanking him, you head into the back, the heels of your ankle boots clicking against the floor.
the rooms have their matching numbers on neon signs above them. your eyes curiously take in everything they see, but all rooms grant the people in them privacy with the use of frosted glass.
once you’ve made it to the room with the number six on the sign, you take a breath while your hand rests on the handle.
you enter the room soundlessly. the broad space is dimly lit with its soft lights, a mixture of yellow, pink and red almost convincing you that this place is a mere fever dream.
mingyu is seated on the velvet red couch, his legs spread with a girl in skimpy lingerie dancing between them.
yet his eyes are on you.
with his head tilted down, he looks up at you from beneath his lowered brows, peering right past the bare hips of the girl as if she’s not dancing in front of him at all.
you catch a hint of intrigue in his features. he reaches inside his pocket to hand a small stack of money to the dancer in the exact same way you did with the bouncer only a minute before, and the girl leaves you to your privacy.
“hello to you, too.” he says, not bothering to move a single muscle as he remains on the soft couch.
“next time, answer your damn phone.” you scold him, staring him down with the coldest glare you can muster, and mingyu’s not sure why, but he relishes in it. it doesn’t happen often that someone treats him like this.
“i was occupied.” he casually answers, his hand running through his dark locks.
“well, not anymore.” you grin, handing him your phone to show the photo of the bank transcripts. “apparently, my dead father just took fifty grand out of his account.”
mingyu furrows his brows at the screen. “where?”
“all the way at the other side of the city. question is, who else has access to his account, aside from me?”
“we should go and check the footage.” he says, shrugging his shoulders, and he finally gets up, towering over you again. “i know someone who’s with the municipal authorities, i’ll make the call.”
“right now?” you ask, referring to how deep into the night it is, at which he raises his brow.
“yes, right now. this is the best clue we’ve come across so far. don’t you agree?”
“i do. i just thought you cared more about, y’know, being occupied.” you emphasise the last words with a waving hand, gesturing to the girl that was previously dancing on him, and his flirtatious nature comes right back to him as if it never left.
“why? wanna give me a show before we leave?” he smirks, getting closer, hoping to get some kind of reaction out of you, to see what’s lurking underneath your closed-off persona.
fine. both of you can play this game, you think to yourself. “what, are the girls here not enough to get you off?”
“is that a yes?”
“why would you want a lap dance from a girl you can’t stand? i may not like you, mingyu, but i didn’t think you’d stoop so low to go after any woman with a pulse.”
“i feel flattered,” he smiles, eyes trailing down to your exposed collarbones, finding it ridiculously hot in here, “and i don’t particularly like you, either, but we both know you’re gorgeous. besides, i’ve seen you dance at chan’s club. you looked good.”
his honesty almost stuns you in your place. you didn’t think he held that kind of physical attraction towards you, yet it makes you feel good — because you think he’s fucking hot, too.
such a shame that he’s an asshole.
but still, there’s no time to dwell on his words. you have a reputation to uphold and a murder to solve, after all.
so you lean in, whispering your decision. “in your dreams.”
jesus, mingyu thinks, do you even remotely know how much sex appeal you have? it makes him beyond impulsive. “did you know studies have shown that sleeping with someone you can’t stand is arguably the best thing ever?”
you sarcastically reply to him with the exact same tone. “did you know you’d be so much more bearable if you just kept your mouth shut?”
“what? it’s part of my charm.” is all he says in return, snickering a little over your response, and you merely roll your eyes.
“we’ve got a different idea of charm, then.”
“okay, fair enough.” he shrugs, still maintaining the minimal distance between your bodies. “so what do you find charming? i’m dying to know, really.”
“i like men who don’t feel the need to pay for a woman’s touch.” the reply comes fast and sharp as a blade. “i hope you pay them generously, since they have to put up with you out of all people.”
“she didn’t touch me, though. it’s a strip club, not a brothel.”
“how noble of you.” you humorlessly chuckle at him, attitude turning more playful.
“mhm.” mingyu nods his head, the rest of his words sounding lower and suave. “tell me more. c’mon, i’m curious. i gotta know my partner’s preferences, right?”
the look you give your current partner is something. you decide to indulge him this once, face inching closer to his, just to keep things interesting. “i want someone who won’t hold me back. someone who will accept me for who i am — uninhibited.”
there’s something you can’t quite place flashing behind his eyes. it’s close to intrigue, but more intense, and you don’t think you’ve ever seen it in anyone else’s eyes before.
“good to know.” he breathes out, as if your words stole his breath, and you come to the realization that maybe, there’s more to kim mingyu than you thought.
now that he seems to be pretty much speechless, you raise your shoulders. “so, are we heading out or should i tell the dancer to come back in?”
he stutters out a reply, and you find it funny how his attitude is constantly going back and forth between a flustered mess and the most confident guy in the room.
once you’ve returned to the backdoor where you got in, you see wonwoo is still outside, his cigarette put out on the ashtray beside him.
“you leaving?” wonwoo asks, waiting for either of you to answer.
“yeah. duty calls.” mingyu replies while putting his jacket on.
for what it’s worth, wonwoo is actually a dear friend of yours, and one of the few people you show physical affection to, so you give him a kiss on the cheek before walking off. “catch you later, okay?”
he nods, catching mingyu curiously watching the exchange, and when you walk off with him, wonwoo notices him put his hand on your lower back, which you proceed to swat away.
a mere twenty minutes later, you and mingyu are seated in your car in an empty parking lot, looking at a screen displaying street security footage of the bank where the withdrawal was made earlier tonight.
mingyu’s friend seungkwan, who works for the authorities, sent you the footage, and as you’re looking it over, he’s on the phone explaining his observations. “he was wearing a mask and a cap, so we couldn’t recognize him. the car he drove has a license plate that doesn’t match, so likely stolen. he drove from a nearby parking garage to the bank, withdrew the cash, got back in the car and then parked it right here, about six blocks further, in the business district.”
the building the car is parked across is one you’d recognize any time of day. it’s where your father’s main office is — or was — one of the places he never allowed you to get into, or anyone for that matter. it was the only place where he got the peace and quiet he wanted.
you turn your head to glance at mingyu, giving him a knowing look. “that’s where my father’s main office is.”
“you think the guy’s gonna try to break in?”
“if he got his hands on the passcodes and proceeds to wait before the building he always worked in, then yeah, i do.”
you nod in agreement, because he makes a fair point. mingyu looks at the worried expression on your face and decides you’ve gathered enough information now.
he thanks seungkwan and tells him bye before hanging up, then turning his focus to you. “whoever that guy is, if he’s planning on breaking in, we gotta beat him to it.”
“you wanna break into an office on the seventh floor located in a building that neither of us are allowed into? they won’t even let us pass the front desk. i know because i’ve tried.”
he shakes his head. “trust me — we’ll find a way in. i’ve got an idea, but it’s not gonna be easy.”
vi. WE’RE NOT SO DIFFERENT, YOU AND I
the following days are spent analyzing and memorizing blueprints, tracking the people entering and exiting the building and checking security in the hope of finding some kind of loophole in the system.
trying to get in through the front door is too risky, so you’ve opted for the roof instead, because there’s several buildings so closeby that you can get into either of the buildings next to it and reach it from there. you’ll get in with a classic heist movie tactic you pray works in real life as well.
ventilation shafts.
so now, you’re both in dark and practical clothing to attempt breaking in. because your plan is mediocre at best.
as you watch from the rooftop of a currently unoccupied office building nearby with a binocular, you face-palm yourself the moment you notice the security set-up is different than anticipated with the blueprints, meaning the ventilation shafts are most likely not accessible. “well, fuck.”
“what’s wrong?”
you hand the binocular to mingyu, and he mimics your previous actions, huffing in annoyance when he sees it too. “shit. what do we do now?”
“nothing.”
“what?”
“our plan was already risky enough, but now that we pretty much don’t even have a way in, we’d be stupid to try. we only have a fifteen-minute window before a security guard comes up the roof again.”
“that’s plenty.”
“it would be, for like — a swat team. we’re amateurs. at this, anyway.”
“speak for yourself.”
“oh, i’m sorry, have you done anything remotely on this scale before?”
“well… no.”
pinching the bridge of your nose, you roll your eyes to yourself. “we should’ve brought wonwoo.”
mingyu is quick to respond with a sarcastic comment. “and tell him what, exactly? ‘hey, we need your help breaking into one of the best-guarded buildings in the city so we can snoop around and try to find a clue leading to a killer’?”
“well, i don’t know if you’ve noticed, gyu, but we quite literally have no other options.”
“we could always try the front door. you’re still his daughter, they might let you in.”
“i really hope that wasn’t an actual suggestion, because if it was, it would highly diminish the idea i have of your intelligence.”
“is this your way of telling me you think i’m smart?”
“well, currently, i think you’re being an idiot, so no.” you retort, stealing the binocular out of his hand again. “god, i’m starting to respect criminals. this shit is difficult to navigate around.”
mingyu chuckles as he adjusts the black baseball cap on his head. “there has to be another way. maybe we could—”
“—get in through an open window.” you interrupt, handing the device over to him. “you see the glass window in the roof of his office? it looks like it’s ajar.”
once he sees it too, he tilts his head. “it’s almost too easy. it’d have to open manually, otherwise we’re screwed.”
you can only shrug. “it’s only a modern interior on the inside, the building itself is older, so the odds might be on our side. besides, it’s worth a shot, right?”
“can’t argue with that.” he agrees, checking the other buildings around to figure out the best approach.
you watch him as he’s distracted. he’s fully going for the whole partners-in-crime thing you’ve got going on with him, yet a part of you is still unsure what his motives might be.
but for now, you’ll just focus on the task at hand.
every fifteen minutes, a security guard comes up to the roof, checks everything, stays for a minute or two and leaves again. you’ve been keeping track of it. as soon as the one currently on duty closes the door to the staircase behind him, heading back down, you both start a silent timer on your watches, getting to work.
one thing you discover doing said task is that jumping from roof to roof is really not as easy as they make it seem in the movies. if anything, it’s pretty scary, even if they are relatively close to eachother.
the jump from the last building to the one you need to be on top of has the biggest gap, and mingyu takes a solid leap, landing ever so gracefully.
you shuffle your feet for a moment, making the mistake of looking down. mingyu notices your hesitation and tries to encourage you the best he can. “it looks scary, but it’s a relatively easy jump. i swear. that’s gotta mean something coming from a person with a fear of heights.”
clenching your fists, you try to steady your breathing. “don’t you lie to me, kim.”
there’s something strangely charming about you using his last name whenever you’re scolding him. “c’mon. i’ve always thought you were fearless. you’re not gonna diminish the idea i have of you, right?”
curse him for using your words against you like that.
clenching your fists, you bite your lip, the worst case scenario going through your head over and over.
“just go back a couple steps. steady your breathing, and then you run. okay?”
you don’t respond to his words but do as he says anyways. the jump isn’t even that far, you’re just afraid of tripping.
but you won’t go out embarrassing yourself in front of kim mingyu. your pride is too strong for that.
so you take a deep breath and make a run for it, jumping over the gap and landing on top of the other roof, far away from the edge. mingyu laughs triumphantly. “good job.”
“thanks.” you smile as he helps you up to your feet, and you dust off your jacket, proud of yourself for going through with it.
the two of you walk over to the glass window, and you kneel down, inspecting the lock. thank fuck — it’s so simple that all you have to do is click it open. you’re guessing they probably thought the security walking around was enough.
with your hands covered in gloves, you wiggle them through the gap and crack it open, after which mingyu takes the lead. he lets himself drop into the office silently, looking up at you as a gesture for you to follow him.
you attempt to do the same as him, but you figure he must have strong arm muscles, because you’re barely able to hold yourself up the way he can. he notices your struggle and moves to stand underneath you.
“just let go. i’ll catch you.”
“are you sure?”
he nods, his arms up as if he’s waiting for you to jump right into them. “yeah, yeah. i got you.”
not entirely convinced, you try to drop onto the floor in a way you can still hold yourself up, but mingyu proves himself true to his word when he catches you as easily as drawing his next breath. he looks you in the eye while he has you in his arms, his senses feeling heightened as your clothed skin touches with his.
then you tap on his shoulder, and he lets go of you.
the office is bigger than anticipated. the moonlight from outside is bright enough for you to not need a flashlight, so that’s beneficial.
mingyu is awfully quick on his feet for someone as tall and bulky as him. he’s quiet in every step he takes, which is useful in a situation like this.
while he begins to look through a bunch of drawers, you open cabinet after cabinet, going through some documents that don’t really contain anything interesting.
you turn to look at the desk and the painting on the wall behind it. it’s nothing spectacular — your father never had much of an appreciation for art, so you find it strange he’d even have it up here.
out of sheer curiosity, you try to check if there’s a secret stash behind the painting like in those crime movies.
you have to refrain from laughing when your eyes fall onto the safe in the wall. “hey. gyu.”
he turns around, his entire demeanor changing when he sees what you’ve found. “you’re kidding.”
the safe has a surprisingly easy system. it has four dials, so you need a code with four numbers to get access to whatever’s inside. you change the dials to your birth year for fun, but naturally, it doesn’t work. hell, mingyu’s birth year might have a better shot.
while you try out every combination you can think of, mingyu gets the little notebook out of his pocket — the one that was part of your father’s inheritance. he flips to one of the last pages. “try 9-3-6-8.”
going with his suggestion, you rotate the dials until they have the right numbers, and you hear a click. blinking a few times, you turn the small crank wheel beside the dials and open the safe.
there’s not much inside in terms of quantity, but the things that are in there are no joke.
two gold ingots, a stack of files and a loaded handgun with a silencer attached to it.
“what the fuck was he up to?” mingyu asks rhetorically, inspecting the pistol with care, and you shrug, grabbing the files to put them into the bag you took with you.
“i don’t know, but we should hurry up. we can look at whatever all this is later. clock’s ticking.”
he figures you make a good point, so you hold out your bag, and he puts all of the safe’s contents into it.
you’re both scared to death when you suddenly hear voices coming from the other side of the door. you immediately zip up your bag and close the safe back up, putting the painting right back in front of it.
footsteps come approaching your direction, and you realize you don’t have enough time to get back out of the office without being caught red-handed, so you’ll have to find a place to hide.
just as you’re about to go sit underneath the desk, mingyu doesn’t hesitate to grab you by your hand and pull you against his body, both of you hiding in the small gap between the bookcase and the wall, which is right next to the door.
you almost jump in your place when the door is opened by a security guard, and mingyu puts his hand over your mouth to make sure the guard doesn’t hear you.
thankfully, you’re hidden right behind the door now that it’s opened, but your heart is fucking pounding as your chest is pressed against mingyu’s, and all you can focus on is him.
he’s suffocatingly close to you.
the situation forces you to look at him so closely — like never before. your attention trails down from his dark eyes to the litte mole on the bottom of his nose, the shape of his lips, and the glimpse you catch of the silver chain adorning his collarbones.
it’s the first time you see how big of a man he is. he’s been working out a lot in the past few years, with considerable results — standing this close to him highlights the contrast between his frame and yours.
the footsteps leave the office not long after, and the door closes. you’re finally able to breathe properly when he releases his palm from your mouth, and you inhale and exhale deeply.
“you alright?”
“yeah. that was just — scary.” you respond, cracking a little smile.
he nods, neither of you really moving in your places yet. “you can let go of me, y’know.” mingyu whispers, sounding entirely unconvincing, and you frown before looking to your hand that’s apparently been clutching his jacket this whole time.
“oh, yeah. sorry.”
“it’s okay.” he assures you, pointing to the ceiling. “we should probably head back.”
you agree and sling the bag over your shoulders, on your back. he gets onto the desk first so he can climb out the same window you used to get in, and once he’s gotten up the roof again, he extends his hand to you so he can pull you up.
it doesn’t go smoothly. he’s a little clumsy, but he manages, so you take a breather once you’ve made it out of the office with him. you close the window in the exact position it was before you opened it, and you make it to the safety of the rooftop where you started just twenty minutes ago.
as you quickly go down the stairs of the abandoned building to reach the ground floor, he laughs triumphantly. “holy fucking shit. i can’t believe we actually pulled that off.”
you smile at him with adrenaline still rushing through you, heart still pounding in your chest when you realize what you just did.
and honestly, you don’t think you’ve ever felt that… alive.
a mere fifteen minutes later, you’re seated in a half-empty diner with him. he’s across from you in the booth, elbows on the table as he fiddles with his fingers.
while he looks around the place, you take the files you found in the safe out of your bag so you can look them over.
as your eyes fall onto the first page, you frown.
mingyu notices your gaze. “what’s wrong?”
you switch to the other file folders before scoffing to yourself, realization hitting you. “you gotta be fucking kidding me. they’re tabs he kept on the people around him. the staff at home, his driver... even me. and you. well, looks like he didn’t trust you completely.”
before he can even reply to the subtle dig, you slide the folder with his name on it across the table, and he opens it up, noticing a huge chunk of information on him neatly stashed away in separate documents. there’s even candids there that must’ve been made by a private investigator.
“i knew he was paranoid, but this takes the cake.” you mutter, and you throw the folders back into your bag, and mingyu hands you his so you can take it as well.
“well, this sucks.” he sighs. “those files aren’t of much use, so now we’re back to square one.”
you tilt your head. “that’s not entirely true. we might be able to check where the gun came from, or whose name it’s registered under.”
mingyu hums, lifting the cup to his mouth, whispering a compliment, not really expecting for you to hear it. “smart girl.”
with your bag zipped up and everything off the table again, it’s quiet between you and mingyu for a moment.
“god, i’m starving.” he says as you wait for your food to arrive, and where he’s slightly fidgeting in his place, you sit completely still, looking at him with a frown. once he catches your gaze, he raises a brow at you. “what?”
“do you do this often?”
“eating in a cheap diner?”
“trespassing. breaking in. illegal activities. whatever you wanna call it.”
he shrugs. “occasionally. keeps life interesting, y’know?”
the casualness in his attitude makes you scoff. “sure.”
“you don’t agree?”
“i didn’t say that.”
“no, but then again, you don’t really say much at all.” he says bluntly. he doesn’t mean it as an offensive statement in the slightest, but it would’ve probably sounded better if worded differently.
for a moment, he thinks his impulsivity must’ve upset you, seeing as you remain silent for a moment.
then you laugh at him. the sound is completely new to him, yet strangely soothing to his ears.
“you’re bold, i’ll give you that.” you snicker before taking a sip of your coke. “but i assume you don’t have an issue with people who are on the quieter side, since you’re besties with wonwoo and all.”
mingyu mimics your facial expressions. “yeah, i prefer being around quieter people more. but i didn’t—it came out wrong. i meant, you don’t really, like... show who you are. if that makes sense. even back when we were in high school, you were like a mystery. you still are, to me.”
“is this what this whole partnering-up thing is about? you wanting to unravel the mystery about me? because if it is, i’ll give you credit for the creativity.”
mingyu tilts his head. “well, it’s a little more nuanced than that.”
“if you wanted to get to know me, why didn’t you try years ago?”
“have you met you?”
you roll your eyes. he smirks at you, enjoying your company quite a lot, anticipating whatever it is you’ll say in response.
“you wanna know something, mingyu?”
“yeah.”
“you’re telling me i’m the mysterious one, but i’d say that’s you.”
his playfulness falters a bit, and he shows his confusion instead. “me?”
“mhm. you’re popular, good-looking, charming, all of that — and i think you’ve got layers to yourself that no one even knows about. characteristics no one would ever dare imagine when they think of you.”
his breath hitches in his throat. “why do you think that?”
twisting your lips into a pout, you put your drink back down on the table. “wouldn’t be any fun if i outright told you, would it?”
mingyu narrows his eyes at you. you just shrug, as if to tell him he’ll figure it out, if he’s smart enough.
and he welcomes the challenge.
“okay.” he smiles, biting his lip when he leans back in his seat. “but, hypothetically — what if you’re wrong about me? what if i don’t have those layers you’re talking about?”
you eye him up and down, remaining quiet with your arms crossed over your chest. you’ve always had that attitude. like you know more than everyone else, as if you’re the smartest person in the room. usually, you are. and yet you’re never smug about it, unless someone challenges you to be — you’re always calm, cool, collected. stoic. the fact that wonwoo of all people called you an ice princess years ago says enough.
“i’d be sorely disappointed.”
“so you have high expectations of me?”
“in a way, perhaps. though you’ll have to work a little harder to impress me.”
“tonight wasn’t enough?”
“it was a start. we still loathe eachother, remember?”
“right. i’ll keep that in mind for next time.”
sure, you and kim mingyu hate one another, but he still makes you smile the most anyone has in ages, and you make him feel more alive than anyone else has.
vii. FRIENDS CLOSE, ENEMIES CLOSER
“i’ve got bad news.” you say, tapping your nails on the coffee table in your living room as you have mingyu on speaker.
“okay. do tell.”
“the gun isn’t registered, so we pretty much only have the files as evidence.”
“yeah. i doubt your father put those files together himself, since they seem like the work of a professional. we might be smart to seek out the private investigator who gave him the intel.”
you know he hears you sigh at the other end of the line, and your response hardly sound convincing. “yeah, i guess.”
“what’s wrong?”
it’s quiet for a moment. you speak up with a tension rumbling in your chest. “maybe we should just quit, gyu. i don’t feel like what we’re doing is actually going anywhere. we still don’t have a proper lead.”
then it’s his turn to remain silent, and you swear you can hear his breath shudder. “we’ll get there. it just... takes some time.”
“you sound a little too sure of that.”
“i just think it’d be a waste to not continue after the stunt we pulled last week.”
“what’re we gonna be doing next? breaking into the national bank?”
“something tells me you’d find that exciting.”
well, shit. have you become so transparent that kim mingyu of all people can tell the truth about you?
“maybe i would.” you grumble like a child admitting defeat.
the sound of his laughter echoes through the phone. it subconsciously brings a small smile to your face.
“look, i have a meeting ‘til five. i can come by after to brainstorm about things, pick up some food on the way. are you free tonight?”
“yeah. text me when you’re on the way here.”
“yes, ma’am.” he jests, saying he’s got to go before hanging up. it leaves you to stare at your phone for a minute. a past version of yourself would never believe it if you said mingyu would ever get close to you in the way he has over the past two months. it’s been a strange time. it’s come to the point you’re pretty sure you don’t even hate him as much as you used to.
maybe you don’t even hate him at all anymore. maybe.
but something about admitting that to yourself feels scary, so you put your thoughts elsewhere while secretly looking forward to having him come over again.
it’s a quarter past five when he sends you a message, letting you know he’s picked up the food and on the way to your house, and a mere twenty minutes later, you and him are seated in the lounge on the first floor as he tells you about his day – all while shoving a dumpling into his mouth.
what interrupts you, however, is the noise of your doorbell. mingyu frowns instantly, and you mimic his expression, because you weren’t expecting any more company. “who’s that?”
“no idea.” you shrug, so you get up from your seat, jogging down the stairs with mingyu following you, simultaneously chewing the food in his mouth.
checking the screen beside the door that’s connected to the doorbell, you notice a familiar face standing outside.
“isn’t he the main detective on the investigation?” mingyu asks rhetorically, his body language changing to something more stiff. “what is he doing here?”
“good question. i certainly didn’t invite him, but the guy at the front gate probably told him i was home. fuck — you have to hide.”
“hide? why?”
because the detective thinks you still hate mingyu, so seeing him here would make your story hardly plausible. “because he can’t see you, obviously. get upstairs and stay there. i’ll distract him.”
“are you sure?”
“yeah, so go!” you push him back with your hands on his chest, and he seems hesitant to leave you by yourself, but he eventually jogs up the stairs again to get out of sight.
the inspector smiles only as a formality. you do the same. you haven’t spoken to him since you indirectly accused him of being an asshole, a while before your father’s funeral.
“good evening. i hope i haven’t come at a bad time. may i come in?”
“i have to take a business call soon, actually, so another time would be—”
“i won’t be long. i assume you’d like to have an update on the investigation?”
well, fuck. he’s got you there, so you’re forced to let him in, but you don’t let him wonder and gesture for him to sit down in the living room, on the couch. you move to take the seat directly across from him to ensure his focus is on you, instead of on the huge staircase behind him.
“am i still at the top of your list?” you ask. when the man tries to find the right words to respond, you scoff, filling in the blanks. of course you still are. “but you have no evidence.”
“it’s not about evidence — moreso the lack thereof. i’m stuck with two people who each have a solid motive, an alibi that’s far from foolproof, and an important tie to the victim. you cannot deny that.”
“is this another interrogation? because this is all off-record.”
“not an interrogation. i was just wondering something – back when i spoke to you last, before your father’s funeral, i asked what you could tell me about kim mingyu, your father’s former associate.” hearing him say his name makes you anxious, yet you pull every possible muscle to hide it. “you spoke of him as if he were the devil himself. you clearly hated him, perhaps more than you hated your father.”
“and?”
he pulls something from the inside of his jacket, and you discover they’re a few candids, photos taken of you with mingyu while out in the city. well, that’s just fucking great. you’re gonna have to make use of your top-notch acting skills here.
“i’m sure you wouldn’t mind me asking why you’re suddenly seeing someone you claim to hate as much as you do.”
the blankness of your face dissolves as you adapt a more playful and sassy persona. “you came all the way to my home for this? a few photos?”
“a few photos of my two main suspects together for a reason i cannot think of, yes.”
“you can’t think of a single thing? really? no offense, but i was under the impression you were at least a little clever.”
the man stares at you as if he’s trying to solve a puzzle. that can only mean one thing – he’s falling for your act.
what an idiot.
you lean forward in your place, the dry smile remaining on your face. “i fucked him. several times, actually.”
he narrows his eyes at your statement. “i thought you told me you hated him.”
“oh, i do. but a good hate-fuck is the best way to release some frustration. you should try it sometime.” the sound of your voice is monotonous as you utter the words in one go.
“i’ll keep it in mind.” he sarcastically responds with a fake smile, and you copy his body language, pleased to see you’ve made him somewhat uncomfortable.
he clearly wants to change the subject, but you don’t feel like continuing this conversation any longer. “if you’ll excuse me, i really have more pressing matters, so i trust you can see yourself out.”
the inspector huffs a bit, but he knows better than to overstay his welcome. he wordlessly allows you to let you walk him to the door before turning around. “i hope you know who you’re dealing with. not everyone is who they say they are.”
leaving you confused, he looks at you a moment, proceeding to walk out your front door, after which you close it. did he know more than he was willing to let on? what a strange visit.
when you finally decide to turn around, you see mingyu standing in the middle of the stairs, looking a little baffled, at which you roll your eyes.
“why would you tell him that?”
“would you have preferred it if i told him the truth?”
“would that be so bad?”
you scoff, passing him on the staircase. “see, this is what i mean when i say you’re not as smart as you think you are.”
mingyu follows you back up to the lounge. “i’m just saying — maybe it’d make us look less suspicious.”
“it’d do the opposite, gyu. trust me.”
“okay. fine. but out of all the things you could’ve said, why that?”
“well, it made him uncomfortable, making it easier to get him to leave early. and, well… you know what you look like.”
the last sentence really grabs his attention.
“what i look like?” he repeats, knowing damn well what you’re getting at, but he’s eager to hear you spell it out for him.
“well, you’re somewhat good-looking. it’s one of your few strong points, actually.”
“so you think i’m hot?”
“didn’t quite say that.”
“no, but you implied it.”
“not really. you may be conventionally handsome, gyu, but attraction is a whole different thing.”
“oh, c’mon. admit it. i’m willing to, so…”
“do i need to remind you i said we’d keep things professional? which you agreed to.”
“god, you’re so tough.”
“part of my charm. maybe that’s why you like me so much.”
“i never said i liked you.”
“no, you didn’t have to.” you scoff, laughing at him, and mingyu feels the corners of his lips curling up — because you’re right.
then, as you plop down on the seats in the lounge again, you sigh as you look at the papers scattered across the table.
“you know, it’s been weeks, and we still haven’t got the slightest clue who’s the killer,” you frown, fingers resting on your collarbone, “and if i’m being honest, i doubt we ever will.”
mingyu briefly narrows his eyes at you, proceeding to take his laptop out of his bag. you watch curiously when he silently types away at his keyboard, then turning the device around and clicking on the play button.
suddenly you hear your own voice, and the words — you said those during the interrogations. how the hell did he get his hands on those recordings?
he seems to be able to read your mind. “i’ve got a contact in the force. he sent me the sorted files of everyone who was interrogated. we should probably listen to them, right? after all, we know more about the situation than the detectives.”
blinking a few times, you shrug and nod in agreement, so he increases the volume and presses the button again.
the following two and a half hours are spent listening to the recordings and taking notes of important things. you’re only halfway through them, but doing this the whole time really sucks you dry of energy.
at a certain point, you press the pause button and get up from your seat, moving to the liquor cabinet a few meters away. “you like a good whiskey, right?”
“yeah. how’d you know?”
“i observe and listen. that, and i heard you say it to wonwoo one time.”
he chuckles at your words, watching you take the bottle with two glasses and set it down on the table.
once you’ve poured the liquid into the glass, he takes what you offer him and down it in one go, after which you give him a judgemental stare. “seriously?”
“sorry. had a rough day.”
your gaze softens, and you pour him a second glass as he holds it out. “why?”
“i just… haven’t been feeling great lately. not really sure why.”
well, that’s interesting. “your conscience eating away at you?”
his eyes widen an uncharacteristical amount, and your face is blank for a few moments until you crack a smile. he laughs it off, squeezing his hands together, which you take notice of.
“guess you could say that. no, i don’t know. my sister’s been stressed and she won’t tell me why, which is odd ‘cause she always comes to me — and my mother’s been overworking herself, and i’m worried for her.”
pursing your lips together, you cast your eyes down for a moment.
for some reason, you feel a sense of repulsiveness whenever mingyu speaks of his family like that. as if it’s a reminder of what you didn’t have.
but you don’t show it.
“sounds tough.” you reply, not intending to sound distant — you just find it difficult to know what to say.
what you fail to recognize is that mingyu sees it. he sees your struggle and the emotions you think are so deeply hidden underneath the surface. they actually are, to be honest, but he’s come to know you and with that the way you hold yourself. and he’s suddenly able to read you better.
you’re made of sharp edges only — broken glass on all sides.
he takes another sip of his drink. you down yours in one go.
“can i ask you something?”
“sure.”
mingyu’s eyes curiously follow your every move, the alcohol in his system making him bolder. “how are you holding up?”
“me? ‘m fine. why do you ask?”
“i think mostly ‘cause i’ve asked you a lot of questions, but not that one.”
the words make you silent for a moment, and you let out a knowing sigh when you realize what he’s getting at. “i told you i was glad he died, gyu.”
“i know. but even if you are, you can still find it difficult to deal with.”
you inhale and exhale slowly, leaning back against the wall for a moment, staring into nothing. “i’m not sad that he’s gone. i never will be. but there’s things i wanted to ask him.”
when you don’t continue, he asks you to. “what things?”
“things about my youth, my mother… hell, maybe even about you.” you shrug, chuckling for a brief moment, but the sound is gone as soon as it came. “but i think, mostly, i’d ask if he saw himself in me.”
mingyu is intrigued by your answer. “why would you wanna know that?”
you shrug, your tiredness contributing to you opening up. “because maybe i’d hear the answer i want to hear, and not the one i currently have. my worst nightmare has always been to turn into him.”
“you won’t be like him.” he tries to tell you, but you shake your head.
“i already am. i hated him to the bone, and yet i act like him, sound like him, handle things like him — because he taught me everything i know. at the end of the day, i am my father’s daughter. there’s no changing that.”
“you’re not a bad person. he was.”
“how would you know? he was nice to you. stand-offish, probably, but nice.”
“you don’t think i had an idea of what kind of person he was? i cared for him, but i knew he could be harsh. i caught some bits and pieces when he… yelled at you after our high school graduation.”
you have an almost visceral reaction as he mentions the incident. your father had yelled at you after the graduation, because the best student of your class got a prize on the big podium, and it wasn’t you. and that as a result made your father angry, because being in the top five wasn’t enough — because it should’ve been you.
it was always supposed to be you.
“why did you even want to be around him at all? if you knew how much of an asshole he was all this time.”
mingyu stares at the wall for a few seconds when he thinks about it. “he came into my life when i needed it the most. but looking back, i feel guilty. i shouldn’t have cared for someone like that.”
“like what?”
“someone that cruel. he didn’t deserve to be loved or cared for, not in any way.”
“can only good people be loved?” you ask in return, and he seems positively surprised at your question.
“you’d find love for a bad person?”
“mingyu.” you say his name in a brief chuckle, and it steals his breath away. “do you think you have that much of a choice over who we love? we don’t. that’s what makes it so complicated.”
he seems to grow increasingly stressed with each thing you say, much to your surprise. “but would you want to love someone like that?”
looking away from him for a moment, you think his words over. “if that person was good to me, and had the same values… yeah, i would. trust me, the few people i care about are no saints, and yet i’d go to hell and back for them.”
“am i on that list too?”
you meet his eyes, and his expression is so beautifully genuine, full of raw emotion you’ve never seen him show before. it’s then that it finally hits you — kim mingyu actually cares about you.
the worst thing is that you just might care about him, too.
so you gently smile at him with a light shrug of your shoulders. “maybe.”
he reciprocates it, his brown eyes blown wide as he gazes at you. “i’m glad. you’re on my list too, y’know.”
“am i?” you tease, and he nods cheerfully, happy to have verbalized his appreciation for you. “well, i didn’t really see it coming, that’s for sure.”
your words bring mingyu’s thoughts back to the death of your father, the rift you accused him of causing between the two of you. a wave of guilt comes flooding in once more.
“look, i… i know you may not believe me, but i genuinely feel sorry for what happened. for taking something from you. despite the things i saw and heard, i really was too stupid to see that your dad treated you as badly as he did.”
staring him right in the eye, you don’t fail to catch the earnestness in them. “it’s alright. you’re not half as much to blame as i’ve tried to make myself believe you were.”
the words intrigue him. “how come?”
swallowing the lump in your throat, you press your lips together. “because he didn’t care about me. he never did. maybe he was different before my mother died, maybe he wasn’t. i wouldn’t know.”
mingyu tries to hold his ground as he watches you get emotional. he remains quiet in his spot next to you.
“can i tell you something?” your voice is hesitant and almost inaudible, like a child who’s trying to tell their parent they did something wrong.
when he silently nods, you continue.
“you wanted to know why i hated you, right? well, i...” you pause in an attempt to find the right words, “i felt invisible to my father. like i didn’t matter — i was treated like nothing more than a tool to improve his businesses. but you... he treated you like a son. like a person. and i spent years trying to figure out what i did wrong and you did right, and i just... i didn’t get it. i still don’t. but whatever it was, i was jealous that you had it and i didn’t. and everyone loved you and praised you, be it our friends or their parents. everyone in our social circle. from my point of view, no one had ever uttered a single bad word about you, and then when my father began to take a liking towards you as well... i just hated you. you were my perfect scapegoat.”
the guilt on his face is clear as day. when he parts his lips, you already know he wants to apologize again, but you shake your head, speaking up first.
because you don’t hate him anymore.
“mingyu, there was nothing for you to take away from me to begin with. long before you were even present in his life, he didn’t care for me either.” with the corners of your lips turned down, you continue. “i did everything he asked. perfect grades, perfect manners, perfect social life. but he didn’t care. it’s not often i say people have no heart, but he just… he just didn’t have one. for his job, perhaps, for his business partners — but not for anyone outside of his work. i just didn’t think that would go for his own child, too.”
you reach for your forehead, trying to take his attention away from your face, running your hand through your hair while blinking your tears away. why are you telling him all this?
but it just feels so good to finally get it all out.
“you did the best you could.” he tells you, and you nod with watery eyes.
“i did. and somehow, none of it mattered.”
when the first heavy sob leaves you, you try to hold it back, not wanting him to see you break down.
he doesn’t let you. he moves to sit next to you and takes you into his arms, and for the first time in however long, you let yourself break. the tears are your acknowledgement of the pain it has caused you over the years, the damage that will never quite heal and always follow you wherever you go.
you’re not sure why you’re falling apart this easily. you hardly ever cry anymore, perhaps a few times a year, and you usually feel strong enough to hold it all back when you’re in front of others, but this time — this time, you just can’t.
“it’s alright, sweetheart. it’s okay. you’re alright. he’s gone now.” he whispers into your ear as comfort. “but you’re not alone. not anymore.”
his heart shatters when he internally makes the comparison between the loving family he grew up in and the lonely, broken family you could hardly call home.
“why wasn’t i enough? why didn’t he like me?” you mutter to yourself, having lost control as you cry into mingyu’s neck, clinging onto his body as your chest aches.
“because he couldn’t. he didn’t have it in him to care for anyone. that says more about him than it does about you.” he responds, gently stroking your hair, even pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
and for the first time in a long time, you feel… cared for. like you truly matter to someone.
something that feels scary, perhaps even strange, but good.
mingyu’s big arms cage you into his hold, a comforting feeling. to be honest, you wish you could stay with him like this for the whole night. maybe even longer than that.
he rubs your back, feeling the pain in your chest as if it were his own. he’d take all of it if he could. you were damaged in a way that no one deserves, and seeing how much it still affects you and most likely will in the long term, that tears him apart.
the heavy ache in your chest subsides, yet you still cling onto him. you feel the most at ease you’ve ever been with anyone.
“thank you.” you mumble, giving him a tight hug with you wrapping your arms around him ‘till he’s almost suffocating. “i needed that.”
“anytime.”
you eventually finally come down from your breakdown, body slightly twitching as the last tears silently roll down your cheeks.
with your head in his lap, you lay on your side, closing your eyes for a while as the pain in your chest slowly subsides. he’s still rubbing at your clothed skin, and you’re curious if he’s aware it does wonders for calming you down.
“i’m sorry for yelling at you, gyu. after the funeral.” you speak up, voice still raspy. “i was wrong about you.”
mingyu feels his throat tighten up. “it’s okay. i was wrong about you, too. we have more in common than i initially thought we did.”
you wipe your tears away and move to sit upright, finally feeling confident enough to look him in the eye again. “like what?”
both of you are tired. everything that’s happened the past weeks has definitely been causing some sleepless nights for both of you, and with all the alcohol and emotions running high, you’re both feeling a tad drowsy.
he runs a hand through his dark locks. “this part of society — i think it’s exhausting, a lot of the time. full of noise, small talk that’s supposed to hide how cold half these people are, social pressure, all of that. but here, at home, it’s quiet. maybe a little too quiet. the thing is, i have my friends and family that i care about more than anyone else, but i still feel… hollow. like i’m missing something.”
you nod at him. “you can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely.”
“yeah.” he sighs. “do you feel it too?”
“well, i may not have a family, but i have my friends. and they mean so much to me, and i can talk to them if i need to, but… yeah. i feel it too.”
he wonders if you feel the same connection that he’s feeling right now. he’s drawn to you like a damn magnet.
mingyu already knows he’s a goner when he gently puts his hand on your cheek. he feels electrified by your presence, your voice, even the way you look at him.
he needs you.
“maybe we can be lonely together.”
his words are enough for your breath to hitch in your throat. you doubt you’ve ever wanted to have someone as much as you do now.
and so you cross a line you never thought you would and press your lips to his, desperately needing his touch.
the kiss is harsh but slow, as if you’re aching to taste eachother. his hand makes its way to the back of your head, the other on your back to pull you closer to him.
his heart might as well be lurching out of his chest. god, he feels that excitement and nervousness as if he were his teenage self sharing a first kiss with his crush — yet whatever feeling is clouding his mind is something darker and deeper, something that transcends what he can describe with words.
he kisses you like his life depends on it. once you’ve both pulled back to get some air, looking the other straight in the eye, it’s like you’re silently admitting that the relationship you share is more than just being partners.
it’s something that comes alarmingly close to love.
the moment is harshly interrupted when his phone rings. he blinks a few times before rolling his eyes at the timing, as he’s still half on top of you.
you can do nothing but wait underneath him as he takes the call, and when he closes his eyes and releases a sigh, you know it’s not positive.
“alright, thank you.” he says before hanging up, turning his focus to you. “the alarm at my apartment in the city was triggered. i gotta check it out, i’m sorry.”
“it’s fine.” you mutter out, suddenly unsure of how to talk to him now that you’ve crossed the line that you have.
but mingyu is much more straightforward. his gaze is warm and intense as it finds your eyes, and he wants nothing more than to stay here with you. so he shows you that.
just when your lips are about to touch again, he smirks, gently holding your chin. “i’ll be back for this.”
with those words, he catches his breath and gets up from the couch, after which he jogs down the stairs, and half a minute later, you hear the front doors open and close.
the sound allows you to release the breath you’ve been holding.
what the fuck have you gotten yourself into?
thank you for reading. let me know if you enjoyed it x
READ PART TWO HERE
® SANAKIRAS — do not repost, remake or copy my work in any way whatsoever. translations are not allowed.
#kim mingyu x reader#svt x reader#seventeen x reader#svthub#mingyu x reader#seventeen smut#seventeen fanfic#svt smut#seventeen imagine#svt imagine#kim mingyu ff#kim mingyu angst#svt fic#svt angst#svt fanfic#svt imagines
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my interests always regress so bad during finals so i’ve been reading the rest of the simon snow series after rereading carry on and its kind of just bad (shocker). i’m gonna read the third book though because i really want to know whether they decide racism is good or bad 🤨
#the vampire attitude is crazy…. ‘this whole race is inherently evil and deserves death no matter what’#except for the main character who’s a vampire because (????)#i thought the introduction of lam(b?) was soooo interesting and that they would finally discuss their radical vampire biases but nope#he’s also evil and deserves death#baz learning about vampires and his own body after so long being alone and confused and scared was so touching and resonant….#to turn around and still be like No all vampires should be mass murdered is CRAZY.#why are vampires the one race that they can’t accept has moral nuance 😭#even after lam revealed he was also turned against his will like baz even#anyway. book 2 was so boring and weird. simon is so annoying….. and agatha is sort of just boring. baz penelope and shepherd sweep#also re: agatha like dude she should’ve been written out 😭#her storyline was so real and fascinating in the first book. to say ‘no obviously she can’t leave magic behind how silly of her’#is so reductive…… write her the hell out already 😭#ss#and on top of that there’s the whole party talking about how baz is so embarrassed to just exist and be healthy as a vampire#even in front of his loved ones and like. nobody gives a fuck (?). theyre just like phew good thing we killed all those disgusting vampires#crazy……….#baz is kind of eh in the first book but hes so wonderful in book two……
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I'll Take You In |Naruto Men X Reader| HC
Characters: Kakashi Hatake, Sasuke Uchiha, Shikamaru Nara, Naruto Uzumaki, and Gaara
Summary: They bring home a baby.
Warnings: Implications of child abandonment.
Masterlist Ko-fi
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Kakashi Hatake
It was late at night, and he'd just returned home from a mission.
You immediately noticed the little bundle in his arms. Without a second thought, you'd plucked the little one out of his arms and made your way to the couch for cuddles.
"Who's this?"
He sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck and took the spot next to you.
"A little girl we found alone in the woods on the way back. No one in the area claimed her, so we brought her back here."
"She's beautiful."
"I offered to take her in."
You were shocked by that. Kakashi had never shown any interest in kids, so for him to offer to take one in was unexpected.
"I know, I should've talked to you first, I just," he sighed, "I got kind of attached."
You shook your head at him, worried he'd taken your shock as disappointment.
"I get why. She definitely fits the baby sized hole I've suddenly acquired in my heart."
The next morning, you'd taken the little girl to Sakura for a checkup and to the records hall for a birth certificate.
Meanwhile, Kakashi had recruited a Gai to assist him with the nursery.
By end of day, you had a fully built and stocked bedroom for your daughter.
It hadn't even been 24 hours, and yet you'd already perfectly filled out as a family.
Sasuke Uchiha
You'd just returned home from grocery shopping when you found Sasuke and Kakashi talking in the living room.
Nothing seemed out of the ordinary until Sasuke turned around holding a baby.
You dropped the bags in your hand and immediately made your way over to them.
"Who's the cutie?"
You combed your fingers through the baby's hair and fought the urge to kiss their face.
"Naruto and I found him in the woods on the way back from Suna. We asked around, but no one seemed to be missing a baby."
Sasuke passed the baby to you, knowing you would most definitely want to cuddle.
He made eye contact with Kakashi, a silent way of telling him to leave. He did without protest, knowing exactly why he was no longer welcome.
"I actually wanted to discuss something with you."
You hummed, too busy playing peekaboo to pay your husband any mind.
"I would like to... keep the baby."
Your eyes snapped up at him. Who was this and where was your husband?
"You want to keep a random baby you found?"
He blushed, not really liking the forwardness of your words.
"He's a good baby. He'd make a great addition to the clan."
You didn't need any further convincing. You loved kids and wanted plenty of them. This would just be a head start of sorts.
You hugged and kissed Sasuke, thankful you had a wonderful husband.
Shikamaru Nara
Oh boy.
When Shikamaru came home with a baby, you knew something was up.
He never volunteered for work, so you knew something unfortunate had to have happened.
You'd made your way over to him to see the baby, but stopped when you didn't recognize them.
Sakura and Hinata had recently had their babies, so you expected it'd be one of them, but no. This baby didn't look like anyone you knew.
"They found her in one of Orochimaru's old hideouts. Sakura checked her out, and she seems okay, but..."
"But?"
"She needs a home."
You nodded. Obviously, she needed a home. Then it dawned on you.
"You want us to keep her?"
He nodded and looked away.
You smiled.
"She must be something special if you wanna take her in."
"Kakashi asked me specifically, and I don't know, there's just something about her..."
You stopped him before he started talking himself into a hole. You understood, and were more than happy to bring the little one into your family.
Naruto Uzumaki
When Sakura told you that your husbands had found a baby on their way home from Suna, you weren't very surprised that Naruto had come home with them.
He looked a bit sheepish, like a kid who got caught by his mom.
Neither of you had to say anything. You already knew what he was going to ask, and he already knew that you knew.
"Look, I know what the orphanage is like, and he's so little, and-"
"It's okay, Naruto. I understand."
He felt a flood of relief wash through him.
"So we can keep him?"
You laughed and took the baby from him.
He really was so little, probably less than a week old. You felt a sense of obligation, not just because of Naruto. It felt like that baby was supposed to be yours.
"Yeah, I think I'd like to take him in."
Gaara
Since he had taken over the role of Kazekage, the sand village had been striving. Poverty was at an all time low, shinobi had higher success rates due to higher moral, and the economy had been booming.
The orphanage had, thankfully, been empty for quite some time, so when a baby was suddenly in need of a home, they came to him first.
He thought about reopening the orphanage for this one child, but he had a better idea.
Which is why he had come home from his regular work day with a baby.
To say you were shocked would be an understatement. You never imagined Gaara would be the one to bring home a child, that was much more yout Forte.
"I should have discussed this with you prior. I can always make alternate arrangements if you-"
You shut him up instantly.
This baby was now yours. A little girl, a daughter, just as you had always imagined.
"She's perfect."
#naruto uzumaki x reader#naruto x reader#naruto fluff#sasuke uchiha x reader#sasuke x reader#sasuke uchiha#naruto uzumaki#kakashi hatake x reader#kakashi x reader#kakashi hatake#shikamaru x reader#shikamaru nara x reader#shikamaru nara#gaara#gaara of the sand#sabaku no gaara#gaara x reader#gaara fluff#kakashi fluff#sasuke uchiha fluff#naruto#naruto headcanons
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It’s been clear that the Tanizakis aren’t siblings from the very beginning
here’s some evidence now that it’s been confirmed canon…
everyone who’s read irl Tanizaki’s book knew that Junichiro & Naomi weren’t siblings as soon as they introduced themselves
BUT just because the Tanizakis aren’t siblings doesn’t mean you can’t feel uncomfortable about them. if you feel uncomfortable, GOOD. that’s exactly what they want
the Tanizakis, Mori— they all use these disturbing ruses to disarm or distract people in order to protect themselves, or to accomplish their goals. this is a writing device that asagiri commonly employs as a way to parallel the irl literature (it’s actually ingenious)
there are 4 main indicators that have always made it clear to me that Junichiro & Naomi are not siblings:
1. most obviously— their character designs. Harukawa is extremely intentional with character designs, & she very intentionally made Naomi & Junichiro look nothing alike
their eye shapes are purposely different
their color palettes are contrasting
even their differing styles of clothing have meaning
this was all done so that the audience could PLAINLY see that they’re not related— so that WE know that they’re lying when they say they ARE related
2. how the people around them respond to their act.
the general reaction is “don’t question it”— which is exactly what they want. “be distracted by how uncomfortable you feel so that you look away from what we’re hiding” (this is likely a protective measure)
3. most importantly, this is meant to parallel irl Tanizaki’s book “Naomi,” where the main character Joji picks up Naomi to raise her into his ideal woman, but since she's so young (& a minor) they call each other cousins (Joji makes no sexual advances on young Naomi btw)
however, his plan backfires because when Naomi gets older & they get married, she flips the script on him & manipulates HIM so that he's under her thumb (which is why bsd Tanizaki is at a domineering Naomi's mercy). Joji let her have her way because of his masochistic tendencies
4. lastly is the emphasis that Asagiri and the Tanizakis themselves put on calling each other siblings.
over & over, it’s “my brother this” & “my sister that”
like they’re desperately trying to convince us that it’s true (“don’t let your lying eyes deceive you”)
here are just a few of many examples from the light novels…
again, if you’ve read “Naomi” you knew that Junichiro & Naomi weren’t siblings as soon as they introduced themselves
just like if you’ve read irl Mori’s works, it’s clear that bsd Mori isn’t a pedophile
just like if you’ve read No Longer Human you know that Dazai’s an unreliable narrator. he makes you think he’s a bad person bc he believes he’s a bad person, but those around him see him differently (btw this doesn’t mean he’s never done anything “bad,” though bsd isn’t about morality— but that’s another discussion)
anyway, i’m so excited for the Tanizakis backstory to be revealed so that we can better understand why they use this defense!!
also let this be a reminder to READ THE LITERATURE if you’re able to!! even reading synopses & analyses of the coordinating books makes bsd make much more sense 🥹
reminder that this how you’re supposed to react while reading bsd:
also, if you’re interested in a post explaining how Mori isn’t a pedo, i wrote this analysis on twt. OR you can read this document that one of my moots sent me (remember: analyzing a character does NOT mean you condone any actions they may or may not commit!)
#i hope this makes sense. i’ve had this in the drafts for months but was too scared to post it#i’m hoping now that it’s confirmed canon there won’t be as much backlash ^^’ pls be kind#darcy this is for you… i hope you like it :’)#also full disclosure i haven’t been able to read all of Naomi yet. mostly synopses & analyses. so don’t take my summary of the book as law#also hopefully now people won’t ignore the Tanizakis anymore!! not only are they so interesting. they’re also just fun characters#Naomi is so underrated & intelligent. i need more of her teaming up with Dazai#rambling about bsd again#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd meta#bsd analysis#bsd tanizaki#bsd naomi#naomi tanizaki#tanizaki junichirou#tanizaki siblings#bsd 118
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JAMES POTTER | GENUINE
SUM. : your boyfriend finally takes a role who has a romantic interest but his expression is hardly convincing; only you can get a genuine reaction from him
LENGTH : 1.8k
TAGS : actor james potter au ; modern au ; muggle au ; singer reader au ; actor/director sirius black au ; actress marlene mckinnon au ; fluff ; celebrity couple goals ; james can't do romantic roles ; he's too loyal!
“CUT!” Sirius shouts and James drops his shoulders in disappointment, his expression of ‘hopeless love’ also slipping off his face. This is why he wasn’t suited for romantic roles. As Sirius shouts for everyone to take a short five-minute break, James catches Marlene sending him a sympathetic look before moving to her chair with the help of her make-up team, who lifted the heavy skirt of her wedding dress for easier movement. “Come on James, what’s gotten into you?” Sirius asks, making his way over as Remus touches up James’ hair and suit.
“I’m trying Sirius,” the actor sighs, “I think I just need a break to collect myself and then I can finally get that winning take for you,”
“You better,” Sirius playful threatens, “I know you’re a lovesick fool so I know the type of infatuated expressions you can pull. Just try to emulate that and you’re golden, okay?”
‘It’s not that easy if it isn’t her…’ James was tempted to protest but settled with a simple, “Okay…” satisfied, Sirius walks away with Remus to discuss some things with the camera crew while James leans against the set’s alter.
As an actor, James should find it easy to perform his characters’ expressions and emotions, his stardom and recurring roles in thriller, action and adventure films were a sentiment to that. However, his current role requires romantic displays, something he had actively avoided in his acting career.
Characters that had passionate, romantic and intimate scenes were roles James tended to avoid primarily due to his endless loyalty to you, his childhood sweetheart. As young teens, you and James fell in love long before your successes. Since then, you have only grown a deeper love for each other, fostered by the hardships that came with your dreams of becoming a singer and his of becoming an actor with Sirius.
His best friend eventually divulged into directing his own films whilst James continued expanding his career as an actor — as much as he’s able to with the number of scripts he’s dropped for their romantic interests and amorous scenes. It didn’t sit right with him having to kiss another girl let alone look lovingly at someone that wasn’t you. He felt like a cheat. Many, including Sirius, however, have told him that it was part of his job but James was insistent on making no exceptions. He respected you and the love you shared too much. The same way you would play your own love interest in music videos while wearing a short wig and masculine attire. It was a show of mutual respect you both had for the other before and after your relationship became public.
The only reason James had taken on this role was due to Sirius’ insistence as the director, the lack of intimate scenes as well as the dominating adventure, and fantasy genre. It would all be underpinned by small heartfelt moments with his character’s love interest played by his close friend Marlene McKinnon. The two characters’ love story will end in tragedy, haunted by the trope of ‘right person, wrong time’. James believed he could convincingly play his loving expressions only brought on by you in the rare, romantic moments his character shares with Marlene’s but it’s proving harder than he originally thought. Simply thinking about you wasn’t enough…
Mulling over his character’s story, James imagines you in Marlene’s place. He only had three minutes remaining to focus on how he should convey his character’s ‘hopeless love’ convincingly.
To concentrate, he closes his eyes and thinks deeply, ignoring the sudden scuffle and whispers around him. On an adventure to rescue his unrequited love’s significant other, James selflessly volunteers to aid in her quest, protecting her and cherishing her throughout the arduous journey, putting his life at risk for a girl who would never love him back. Unselfishly, he continues forward without drawing any attention to the deep love he holds for her, the audience kept in suspense of his mysterious ambitions— that is, until the dream sequence. In his sleep, influenced by the surrounding, foreign plants’ effects, James dreams of his ideal future, one where he gets to marry his love, who will reciprocate his feelings wholeheartedly. It’s the moment all audience members realise James’ true motivations, encouraging a swell of heartache amongst them when they are forced to accept the reality his own character is made to face: that he cannot be with his love no matter despite his efforts. Her heart belongs to another and if he were to fall for the plant’s trap, he will never wake up from his heavenly dream-come-true and become living fertilsier to continue the plant’s life. The heartache of that realisation is further emphasised when James doesn’t stop loving her in his own, silent and benevolent way.
This is going to be a big moment for James’ character; he needs to put his all into this!
Before he has the chance to open his eyes, however, James is already being led to his spot on the set by Remus. The brunette informs him that the short break is over and instructs him to start before his turn to face Marlene.
“Again, the shot’s focus will be on your face, James, Make it a good one,” Sirius instructs from his director’s chair and, with a small pause cues for the start of the hundredth take.
Opening his eyes gradually, as if waking up from a dream, James takes a moment to analyse his surroundings. He meets the eyes of his groomsmen, shooting them a confused look before slowly turning and raising his gaze. He’s become familiar with Marlene in her wedding dress now so her off-centred placement doesn’t deter him. He also fully trusts in the team, if they saw it fit to make any changes, he’ll help follow through. Marlene is only slightly off centre, he realises, to accommodate the camera’s view of his expression more clearly. James fully expects to only see Marlene, however, when he finally raises his gaze, in the distance, he sees you by the camera.
And James immediately smiles.
He completely forgets where he is, rather, he savours the warmth that fills his chest at the sight of you, the burst of elation in his brain when he sees you smiling at him, dressed in his oversized sweater and your casual jeans. You’re not in a wedding dress nor dolled up the same way Marlene is for the take but you’re just as gorgeous. There’s a tingling itch in his fingertips to reach out for you and he almost does but stops when he remembers where he is and what’s happening around him. His look of sweeping joy and deep affection falters ever so slightly but is completely captured by the camera’s close-up shot. James’ internal berating of another failed performance barely begins when Sirius is suddenly cheering in delight.
“CUT! AND PRINT!” Sirius claps and laughs at the success but James is left blinking in confusion. Did he hallucinate you? He looks in your direction again. No, you weren’t a figment of his imagination, you’re really here! “Finally! That was what I was looking for! Great idea on putting her beside the camera, Moony,”
Remus nods his head in graceful humility as you giggle from where you stand. You had planned a surprise visit for James and called Remus beforehand for access to the set. It was the perfect surprise considering you had barely seen each other the last few weeks; he was busy filming with Sirius and Marlene while you were recording songs for your new, up-and-coming album. That only seemed to add to James’ favourable reaction, however.
“BREAK!” Sirius announces with a wink directed at you, “Let's give the two love birds a moment, as thanks for finally getting the job done. Let’s give it ten!” it seemed as though succeeding after multiple failures had made Sirius a little too happy and laidback but who was James to complain? As Marlene knowingly smirks at him, he runs past and launches himself at you. With a squeal, you return his embrace and giggle into his shoulder.
“I missed you…” he whispers into your crown.
“Surprise!” you announce despite the lateness and giggle again. Music to his ears.
“Thanks for helping me with my scene, love,” he pulls away with deep affection swimming in his hazel eyes and he cups your jaw while resisting the urge lean in and kiss you endlessly. He loves the sound of your voice just as much as the feel of your lips against his own so, for now, he’ll willing listen. He can taste your sweet lips later.
“I didn’t really know what was happening but I’m happy to help,”
“You’re so cute,” he sighs and finally pulls you into passion-filled kiss before you can utter another word. "I can't believe you're my lady,"
"Your lady?"
"Yes," James giggles and kisses your cheek again and again and again, "my lady, the same way, I'm your man,"
"Mmm, sounds good," you utter against his lips, "I'll have to feature you in my new music video then~"
⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅
“...tell me about that scene. It was such a big moment for the audience and your character. How did you manage to look so in love but then so heartbroken?” the interviewer asks, smiling but tilting his head in curiosity when Marlene burst out laughing.
“Oh, this is such a good story!” James looks away, unable to meet his co-star and friend’s mischievous smirk and glimmering eyes, “Can I tell him?” she doesn’t even give him the chance to answer before ingeminating the tale, “James couldn’t get that moment right for multiple takes. We were all getting tired of him, really. But since Sirius knew he was capable of being a love-drunk fool, he persisted for over an hour! And this is just for a one minute section of the film!” James finally chuckles despite his flustered expression when Marlene makes a side comment about how the wedding dress was a chore to wear for such an extended period of time and didn’t appreciate James’ slow uptake, “there wasn’t even an after-party for me to let loose in, my supposed ‘groom’ had his brain elsewhere,” the two share a laugh and James picks up on the story.
“Elsewhere, meaning my girlfriend. She actually planned a surprise visit during filming and was brought in by Remus. He put her right by the camera and the reaction you saw on film was my reaction to seeing her instead of Marlene.” his co-star coos at how adorable he is whenever he’s around you and gossips with the interviewer about how cute of a couple the two of you make behind the scenes.
“Is that why you’ve become her love interest in the music videos for her new album?” the interviewer asks impromptu. He’s on the edge of his seat and is a clear fan of your music, which makes James happier than if the man was to say he was a fan of him.
“Naturally,” James smiles to himself, “she did say I was the inspiration for her love ballads,”
NAVI.
A/N : this was inspired by this tiktok and a daydream i had! the anime is called 'Frieren: Beyond Journey's End', I've never watched it but it was on my fyp, i did some exploring and, now, here i am (๑˃́ꇴ˂̀๑) i hope you darlings enjoyed the read!
#james potter x reader#james potter#james potter x you#james potter fluff#james potter imagine#james potter fic#james potter fanfiction#james potter x fem!reader#marauders
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uhmm i haven't been seeing a lot of discussion about till aside from his relationships with other competitors and i think it's something that must be addressed because i think among the competitors he's the anomaly.
unlike his peers, Till is nothing special. Ivan is beautiful and talented and so is Mizi, and they're both treated as valuable things by their alien owners because of it. You can see this in the way Ivan's constantly surrounded by attention and food and Mizi's pampered lifestyle pre-alien stage.
but then you get to Till and he's literally just strapped to a medical table. Mizi and Ivan's "foster family" treat them with some degree of humanity, even if it's in the way that humans now treat their beloved house cats. If that's the case, Till's treated as a mildly interesting lab rat.
His owners go lengths to further dehumanize him, and you can see that from the way he's so often muzzled when no one else is. They also quite literally brand him !!
This type of dehumanization in my opinion is also something that contributes to Till's aggressive behavior, because he is constantly in the circumstances that force him to do so.
Till is neither too attractive or too talented at singing, and I'm pretty sure he knows this --- that's why he relied so heavily on the element of gruesome surprise during his first round.
It's also worth mentioning that his unhealthy attachment to the idea of Mizi as some kind of saving grace also reflects on his own perception of himself, as some sinner in need of saving. Whenever he imagines Mizi in the Round 6 video, he is someone tainted in the colors of his captors (red) and sweaty, whereas Mizi is bright and glowing.
He didn't expect to live past round 6, I think that's made pretty clear. His expression isn't one of someone who expects to live (especially when Mizi is now either dead or gone). His expression is of someone defeated.
Another thing about Till is that he felt alone. Ivan loves him, we knows this, but Till doesn't. The few instances we see through Ivan's eyes, his kindness towards Till is either from somewhere Till can't see or when he's unconscious. The only time we see them interact where Till is aware of what's going on is when they're fighting as kids, and their one escape attempt.
As far as I know, Till has nothing to go off of in recent times. The only time that he's touched is by alien captors and scientists, both who see him as less than human. It's easy to be beat down and dehumanized when there is no one around you to humanize you.
No other competitor, from what we've seen, is treated as awfully as Till is treated. His idealization of Mizi stems from delusion, and there is no indication to him now that his ex-best friend Ivan still gives a shit about him.
That changes after the 6th Round though, and Till is so well set up to be a character who gets his entire worldview shattered, with Ivan's final show of affection and Mizi's disconnect from the one he has in his head (symbolized by her cut hair).
Till, a hotheaded human who is nothing special but lived on until the final round through the idealization of one competitor and the sacrifice of another ... the silliest of all time
#this is all rambling but erm.... till my beloved#till alien stage#alien stage till#alien stage round 6#ivantill#mizitill#alien stage#luolies#alien stage ivan#alien stage mizi
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Pick One: Magical Girl Show or Rom-com. You cannot be both.
Early in season four we get the episode Gang of Secrets. An episode that ends with Marinette outing her secret identity to Alya. A touching moment that sparked outrage across the fandom because it meant that Marinette had made the choice to reveal her identity to her best friend while keeping her hero partner in the dark.
This choice spat in the face of the exceptions that many fans had for the series. Thousands of pre-season-four fanfics feature moments where Ladybug and Chat Noir promise each other that they'll be the first to know each other's identities. After the Alya reveal, scores of fanfics were written to salt on Marinette's choice to tell the "wrong" person.
Most of these fics feature a betrayed Chat Noir quitting or otherwise punishing Ladybug for breaking their promise to be each other's first, thereby destroying his faith in their partnership. But that promise was never made on screen. It only existed in the realms of fanfic and, when Chat Noir finally found out in canon, his reaction was largely neutral. He never once blamed Ladybug for her choice or pushed for a reveal or even asked for the right to tell one of his friends.
So what happened here? Why did the fans have such wildly unrealistic expectations of canon? Were their expectations even unrealistic or did canon betray them? The answer to that is not as straight forward as you might think because it all comes back to one of Miraculous' many, many, many writing problems: Miraculous is trying to be both a Magical Girl Show and a romantic comedy, but those are not genres that mesh. You can only be one (or you can be a third thing that we'll get to at the end as it's the easiest way to fix this mess, but I want to mostly focus on where the anger is coming from and why the writing is to blame.)
To discuss this mismatch, we're going to do something that breaks my heart and talk about some of Origins flaws. While I love that episode and unironically refer to it as the best writing the show ever gave us, it's not perfect and its flaws are all focused around trying to set up both genres. Do note that I'm going to use a lot of gender binary language here as magical girl shows have a strong focus on gender segregation and rarely if ever acknowledge gender diversity.
Let's Talk Magical Girls
Magical girl shows are shows that center on young women and their friendships. While male love interests are often present in these shows, the boys tend to take a backseat and function primarily as arm candy while the girls save the day and carry the narrative.
A great example of this is the show Winx Club. This show features a large cast of teenage girls who save the magical universe from various threats with their magical powers. Each girl has a love interest, but the boys are usually off doing their own thing and only occasionally show up for a date or to give the girls a ride on their cool bikes or magical spaceship. I don't even think that we see the guys fight or, if we do, it's a rare thing. They are not there to save the day. They are there to be shipping fodder.
Like most magical girl shows, Winx Club starts with the main character making friends with one of the girls who will eventually become part of her magical girl squad. This brings us back to Miraculous.
Did you ever find it weird that Origins implies that Marinette has no friends? She doesn't even have a backbone until new girl Alya shows up to become Marinette's First Real Friend:
Marinette: I so wish I can handle Chloé the way you do. Alya: You mean the way Majestia does it. She says all that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good people do nothing. (pointing at Chloé) Well, that girl over there is evil, and we are the good people. We can't let her get away with it.
This is a bizarre opening because Miraculous is not about Marinette making friends or learning to stand up for herself. If you skipped Origins and just watched the rest of the show, then you'd have no clue that Marinette wasn't close with her classmates before this year. You also wouldn't know that Alya was new in town and you definitely wouldn't know that Marinette had never stood up to Chloé before this year. So why is this here? Why waste screen time setting up elements that aren't actually important to canon?
Miraculous did it for the same reason that Winx Club did it: magical girl shows traditionally start with the main character making friends with at least one of her eventual female teammates because Magical Girl shows are all about the girls and their relationships. The boys are just arm candy.
But Miraculous isn't a magical girl show. The writers have explicitly stated that it's a rom-com and romantic comedies aren't about female friendship. They might have female friendships in them, but that's not where the focus is. The focus of a rom-com is on the romance and Origins is very clearly all about the romance.
Origins as a Rom-com
Origins has a lot on its plate. It has to establish the villain's motivation for the first time, show us how the heroes got their miraculous, show us how the heroes first met on both sides of the mask, show us how they met their respective best friends, and show us how the heroes dealt with their first akuma. It would be perfectly understandable if this 40 minute two-parter didn't do anything with the romance. They have a full show to give us that!
In spite of this, Origins has some incredibly touching moments for both Ladynoir and Adrienette because romance is the heart of Miraculous. It is the main focus of the show. The driving motivation for both of our leads and the majority of the show's episodes. To tell the story of how their journey started without at least one of them falling in love would feel wrong. That's why we see both of them fall in love!
First we get Chat Noir giving his heart to his bold and brilliant lady, then we get Marinette's heart being stolen by the shy sweet boy who never once thought to blame her for her snap judgement of his character. We even get a touching moment where Chat Noir inspires his lady to accept her role and be Ladybug, leading her to boldly face their enemy and call him out:
Roger: I have a new plan, unlike you! Move aside and let the pros do their thing. You've already failed once! Ladybug: …He's right, you know. If I'd captured Stoneheart's akuma the first time around, none of this would have happened! I knew I wasn't the right one for this job… Cat Noir: No. He's wrong, because without you, she'd no longer be here. (they look at Chloe) And because without us, they won't make it, and we'll prove that to 'em. Trust me on this. Okay? Ladybug: Okay.
I love this moment, but it does lose a little of its power when you remember that we had an Alya-driven variation of this exact same thing five minutes prior:
Alya: HELP!! (Marinette suddenly gets filled with courage. She gets the case out of Alya's bag and puts on the Miraculous. Then, Tikki appears, happy to see Marinette again.) Tikki:(raising her arms) Mmmm! Marinette: I think I need Ladybug! Tikki: I knew you'd come around! Marinette: Well, I'm still not sure I'm up for this, but Alya's in danger. I can't sit back and do nothing.
This scene initially confused me because - if Miraculous is a rom-com - then why would you make Alya the reason that Marinette became Ladybug? Why wouldn't you have Chat Noir be the one in danger so that Marinette chose to fight because of her love interest and then encourage that bond with the later scene of him encouraging her? Why split the focus like this? Why give Alya so much attention?
In case you haven't figured it out, it's because Origins is trying to establish two different genres of show. Two genres that will continue to fight for the rest of the series (or at least the first five seasons).
Magical Girls Vs Rom-com
Why is Alya the one to shake off the nightmare dust and inspire the others during the season five finale? Why is Alya the one that Marinette trusts with all of her plans while Chat Noir is kept in the dark? Why does Alya and Marinette's friendship get so much more focus than Adrien and Nino's? Why was Alya the only temp hero who got upgraded to full time hero?
It's because Alya is Marinette's second in command in a magical girl show and magical girl shows focus on female friendships while the boys are just there to be cute and support the girls.
Why do most of Marinette's talks with Alya focus on Adrien? Why is Chat Noir the only other full time holder of a Miraculous for the first three seasons and then again for the final season? Why do Marinette's friends become more and more obsessed with Adrienentte as the show goes on? Why is the love square's identity reveal given so much more narrative weight than any other identity reveal?
It's because Miraculous is a rom-com and the love square is our end game couple, so of course the story focuses on their relationship above all else!
Are you starting to see the problem?
Circling back to our original question: no, it was not unreasonable for the fans to expect that the Alya reveal would have massive negative consequences for Ladynoir. That is what should happen in a rom-com and Miraculous is mainly written like a rom-com. But the writers are also trying to write a magical girl show and, in a magical girl show, Alya and Marinette's friendship should be the most important relationship in the show, so it makes perfect sense that the show treats the Alya reveal as perfectly fine because the Alya reveal was written from the magical girl show perspective.
When it comes to Miraculous, if you ever feel like a writing choice makes no sense for genre A, re-frame it as a thing from genre B and it suddenly makes perfect sense which is fascinatingly terrible writing! It's no wonder there are people who hate the Alya reveal and people who will defend it with their life. It all depends on which genre elements you've picked up on and clung to. Neither side is right, they've both been set up to have perfectly valid expectations. Whether those expectations are valid for a given episode is entirely up to the mercurial whims of the writers!
How Do We Fix This Mess
At this point, I don't think that we can, the show is too far gone, but if someone gave me the power to change one element of Miraculous, that element would be this: scrap both the magical girl stuff and the rom-com stuff and turn Miraculous into a team show where the friendships transcend gender.
At this point, I've written over a quarter of a million words of fanfic focused on these characters (the brain rot is real) and one thing I've discovered is that it is damn near impossible to keep Adrien and Alya from becoming friends. They're both new to their school while Marinette and Nino have gone to the same school for at least a few years. Alya and Adrien are both obsessed with Ladybug plus Adrien is a natural hype man who loves to support his friends and Alya loves to talk about her blog. Alya is dating Adrien's best friend. On top of that, Alya, Adrien, Nino, and Marinette are all in the same class, meaning that they pretty much have to be spending time together five days a week unless French school don't give kids a chance to socialize or do group projects. If so, then judging them for the first issue, but super jealous of the latter.
Given all of that, why in the world is does it feel like Alya is Marinette's close friend while Adrien is just some guy who goes to Alya's school? Along similar lines, while canon Marinette barely talks to Nino, I've found that Marinette and Nino tend to get along smashingly, especially if you embrace the fact that they have to have known each other for at least a few years.
If you embrace this wider friendship dynamic and scrap the girl squad, replacing it with Alya, Adrien, Marinette, and Nino, then the fight for narrative importance quickly goes away. It's no longer a question of is this episode trying to be a magical girl show or a rom-com? Instead, the question is: which element of the friend group is getting focused on today? The romance or the friendship?
A lot of hero shows do this and do it well. I think that one of the most well known examples is Teen Titans. That show has five main characters and the focus is usually on their friendships, but there is a very clear running romantic tension between the characters Robin and Starfire with several episodes giving a good deal of focus to their romance. I'd say that this element really starts in the show's the 19th episode - Date with Destiny - and it all culminates in the movie that capstones the series: Trouble in Tokyo. The character Beast Boy also gets a romance arc and, while it's more short lived, it's further evidence that you can have strong romances and strong friendships in the same show and even the same episode. You just have to own the fact that boys and girls can be friends with each other, a very logical thing to embrace when your show has decided to have a diverse cast of heroes instead of imposing arbitrary gender limitations on its magical powers.
I couldn't figure out a way to work this into the main essay, but it's relevant so I wanted to quickly point it out and give you more to think about re Origins. Have you ever found it weird how Origins gives both Adrien AND Marinette the "I've never had friends before" backstory and yet wider canon acts like Marinette has this strong amazing friend group while Adrien doesn't seem to care about making friends and instead focuses all his energy on romance? Why give both the protagonist and the supposed deuteragonist this kind of origin if it's not going to be a major element of the show? It makes so much more sense to only give one of them this backstory and then focus that person's character arc on learning about friendship.
#ml writing critical#ml writing salt#adrien deserves better#marinette deserves better#alya deserves better#nino deserves better#My queendom for a team show#I was promised a team show!#Why even give the boys powers if you don't want the boys to have screentime?
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