#and he really mines the text for meaning and relevance and everything.
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aq2003 · 2 days ago
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[pulls up a chair w the director of 2015 rsc LLL] wait okay so what do YOU think love's labour's lost is about if you're, like, taking away the play's commentary on race and beauty standards and how that interacts with the wider "frivolity of romance" theme
#i mention the 2015 version bc that's the one i watched but this applies to my bestie (/neg) kenneth branagh As Well#rip guys one of the most interesting parts of the play but like gatekept behind the fact#that LLL is nobody's favorite play and also people keep whitewashing rosaline#love's labour's lost#mm. the whole 'beauteous as ink' line.. 'much in the letters nothing in the praise'..#as in. rosaline agrees with the physical description of herself that berowne describes but not the overwhelming praise of her beauty#and how katherine like. is supposed to have blonde hair and rosy cheeks as opposed to rosaline#and of course that whole tirade where the guys make fun of rosaline for not being fair haired/fair skinned/etc to get back at berowne#there is a SOLID amount of evidence in the text pointing to rosaline being a black woman. like three or four obvious places#and i'm not surprised greg doran picked that up bc his productions are so detail oriented#and he really mines the text for meaning and relevance and everything.#but like he cant be the only person who picked that up.. or at the very least 'read the play and made this connection'#even if you cut all those lines (and i can understand why bc some of them are very very mean spirited)#wouldn't you at least still want to keep with the spirit of the play and not cast her as white ...?#shakespeare didn't have lots of canonically nonwhite characters in his plays.. rosaline is a lead character and the main love interest..#i'm just surprised at the lack of discussion around this. even if it's not as well known or liked as othello or anything
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all-seeing-ifer · 9 months ago
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Aromanticism in Academia
Since it's currently Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week and I'm currently in the middle of a master's research project about aromanticism and asexuality, I figured I'd contribute by putting together a list of some books and other academic sources I've read so far that deal with aromanticism! There's very little written about aromanticism in academia, so I think it's important to spotlight what we do have.
DISCLAIMER BEFORE THE LIST: Due to the lack of discussion of aromanticism specifically in academia, most of what I've found are texts that are primarily about asexuality but also discuss aromanticism. It's unfortunate, but it is also where we're kind of at right now in terms of academia, so bear that in mind.
Books:
Ace Voices: What it means to be asexual, aromantic, demi, or grey-ace by Eris Young - Definitely has the most focus on aromanticism of everything that I've read so far, this book draws from a combination of the author's personal experiences and interviews with other members of the a-spec community, including aroace and alloaro people. A good source of discussion of aro issues and how they interact with things like gender stereotypes. Also notable for its discussion of QPRs, a topic which I find has generally been ignored in academia about a-spec identities.
Ace: What Asexuality reveals about desire, society, and the meaning of sex by Angela Chen - Primarily deals with asexuality, as the title suggests, but also contains some relevant discussions of aromanticism, including the experiences of aroallo people. If you're going to check out the book, I would especially recommending looking at chapter 7: Romance, Reconsidered, which features most of the discussion of aromanticism and non-normative relationships
Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on our Sex-Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J Brown - Again, asexuality is the main focus here, but I would still recommend checking out this book as it does still contain some useful discussion of aromanticism, particularly an extended critique of "singlism" (i.e. discrimination of single people) and how it is weaponised against aros. I also find Brown's criticism of the dehumanisation of aromanticism in media to be very compelling!
Minimizing Marriage: Marriage, Morality, and the Law - I would be remiss not to mention Brake's work here. While Minimizing Marriage is not specificallly about aromanticism and deals with marriage reform and the concept of amatonormativity more broadly, I think it's fair to say that many of Brake's ideas (particularly her coining of amatonormativity as a term) have become vital to the aro community and aro activism in recent years. Definitely a must-read for anyone interested in deconstructing amatonormativity and in contemporary critiques of marriage as an institution, though it's worth noting that this is a work of moral/political philosophy first and foremost, and as such it gets very into the weeds of things. Available on the Internet Archive here
Academic Articles/Essays (all can be found in the collection Asexualities: Feminist and Queer Perspectives):
"Why didn't you tell me that I love you?": Asexuality, Polymorphous Perversity, and the Liberation of the Cinematic Clown by Andrew Grossman - A really interesting and engaging analysis of the archetype of the silent film clown, and how it can be read as an a-spec figure. While Grossman uses the language of asexuality, his analysis makes it clear that he is looking at the clown as both an asexual AND aromantic character.
On the Racialization of Asexuality by Ianna Hawkins Owen - A personal favourite of mine. I think many parts of this essay will be very relevant to aromantic people, particularly Owen's investigation of how romantic love came to be pedastalised and her critique of attempts to normalise asexuality by distancing it from aromanticism.
Mismeasures of Asexual Desires by Jacinthe Flore - A critique of the pathologisation of asexuality that also discusses how aromanticism challenges common discourses around intimate relationships
Finally, I would like to mention the work of Bella DePaulo, who has written extensively about singlism and compulsory coupling, and who Brown uses extensively as a source in their writing on aromanticism. I didn't want to make this part of the main list because I haven't yet had a chance to get stuck into DePaulo's work, but based on Brown's mentions of her work I believe she has some very interesting ideas that are very relevant to aro people.
As you can probably tell, the list of academic sources dealing with aromanticism and aro issues is very limited. However, while aromanticism is vastly underdiscussed in an academic context, I'd like to point out that this is also only what I've been able to find so far. If anyone has any other recommendations please do add them to this post - I for one would love to hear about them!
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embervoices · 5 months ago
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From when I was a teenager my Mom started having me attend the Proposition Parties she held for her adult friends.
Wait, no. Let me try that again.
When I was nearing voting age and Mom wanted me to learn more about the process, she had me start attending the gatherings with her fellow registered voters to discuss the state ballot Propositions and evaluate what they would actually do.
Phew. Some sentences really get away from you, don't they?
Anyway!
We would gather in some open dining room restaurant with all the relevant newspaper articles and activist group writeups and such, and go over what all the different groups said about each proposition:
Who was for it or against it and why, what their biases were
Where the money was coming from for each line of promotion
Who brought up and who paid for the proposition itself
What the text of the thing actually said
What any legal experts had offered on what it all means
What any socio-political or topic experts had offered on what secondary effects it might have that weren't explicit in the text
The one thing we never went over was how we should vote about it.
Anyone of any political persuasion was welcome as long as they could be civil and stay focused on the goal to come to an accurate consensus of what implementing the proposed law would actually do, not whether that was what we wanted to happen.
Now, it happens most of the folks who attended were fairly liberal at least in social values, since they were my Mom's friends and family. But the economic side of things varied tremendously, as did trust in government at various scales, ideals of how things should be handled between citizens, businesses, and government, and sense of reality of how things actually do get handled in practice.
Going even once to such a gathering is extremely educational. I'm a little sorry I've been too overwhelmed to join in the last few years. Thankfully a good friend of mine who is far more involved in tracking politics than I am, and whose judgement I both trust and am quite familiar with (including where we tend to disagree) also provides really great detailed writeups of the ballots that are - since he lives near me - the exact same ones I will be seeing.
Voting wisely takes some effort. Knowing who to trust in a world full of misinformation, disinformation, propaganda, and now outright AI bullshit is not a trivial exercise. If you're overwhelmed I 100000% understand!
But I want to say, the effort it takes can also be a lovely excuse to hang out with some of your smarter, more caring friends for an afternoon, too. You don't have to single-handedly know everything. You aren't in this alone.
So I think it's a worthwhile effort if you can find the time.
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aeonophagic · 5 months ago
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I wanted to look at the boothill tag and somehow came across voidhill which has very much piqued my interest 👁👁
Can I pleaaaaaaaaase have an explanation bc this voidhill thing now has me on a chokehold 🙏🙏
Yayyy I’m glad you’re interested in them!!! They mean a lot to me… I’m happy to answer any and all questions
So if this means you don’t know who VA is (apologies if I’m assuming), I’ll say they’re a HI3 character with HSR cameos who’s most likely around there somewhere. I treat them as my OC by this point though so that’s not really all that relevant. They’re a supercomputer in a human body, their purpose is archiving humanity’s knowledge. As an archive, they remember everything they’ve learnt in perfect detail, which aid their powers that allow them to recreate things they’ve learnt the composition of.
To put it shortly: I made it up as a crack ship but I ended up making an entire story for them. Cyborg who surpassed his body’s human limits, Supercomputer who keeps trying to make their human body surpass its human limits. They both have their particular relationships with their humanity, or lack of.
To put it unfiltered, here’s how I put it last month. Some little things I’d change now, but this is a good idea of it still:
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(Transcript of the first paragraph is in ALT text. It won’t let me add the others)
It’s kind of about them both conditioning each other to change. Void Archives becomes more interested in relationships and intimacy, more willing to participate in them; Boothill realises he’s really into this freak apparently.
My friend wrote the dialogue for this comic a few months ago that describes how they experience their attraction for each other basically:
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I need to reformat this into a vertical comic real bad
Boothill is the first cyborg’ed human they get to meet so personally so they’re particularly interested in him. Their possessiveness doesn’t come from a place of “we’re in a relationship, so you’re mine”—they’re not really in a relationship, it’s complicated—but “I know more than anyone, I remember every nook and cranny, so I am objectively the best qualified one to handle modifying/repairing your body”. Here’s a little doodle I haven’t posted here yet of them doing exactly that
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They’re very focused on the task at hand!
This is a basic rundown of their dynamic, I won’t delve too much into their story unless you’re interested in hearing that too. I really appreciate you asking. I usually express myself through my drawings and comics without saying much else about them, so thank you for giving me the chance to ramble a bit about them :)
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true-blue-sonic · 2 months ago
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For the Ask Game:
💥 What is one canon thing that you wish you could change?
⏰️ Do you like to post fics on a schedule or at random?
🔮 Any advice for writers working through burnout or writer’s block?
💥 What is one canon thing that you wish you could change?
Hmm, it's not really a change, but I wish we would get more clarity on Silver and his time-travelling abilities. There's a lot of information from which we can infer that he travels to the past out of his own free will (e.g. Silver always says he came from the future instead of getting sent from the future), but in the same vein, the characters who live there don't seem to know anything about how it works either (e.g. Tails being startled by Dodon Pa being able to send letters through time and space towards Silver and Blaze). I would like it if we got a complete confirmation that Silver has full control over his time-travelling, and furthermore what means he uses, such as the Chaos Emeralds.
⏰️ Do you like to post fics on a schedule or at random?
When I'm writing a multi-chapter fic, I try to stick to a schedule: New Beginnings got uploaded on Fridays, and Genesis on Sundays because I found having the weekend to work on it more really helped with finalising the chapters. Hmm, if I ever start publishing Could Reminisce Forever, maybe I'll do it on Saturdays this time? XD
One-shots I just post whenever they are finished, though!
🔮 Any advice for writers working through burnout or writer’s block?
I'm having quite the case of it right now, rip... I think "just get started" is always good; what you have can be edited. In the words of an acquaintance of mine: you cannot edit an empty page. "Do it scared" is also a good one: even if you fear that it'll suck, you don't need to upload everything you write immediately! I've found that just writing something and coming back after a few days gives me ample opportunity to edit a text I feel unsure about into something far more pleasant to read. I've also read a tip that you should make a playlist with songs relevant to your story and go walking for 30 minutes if you are stuck; I'm gonna try that one myself too. And I think it is most important to make it fun! I enjoy really getting in the heads of my characters and trying to imagine what they're feeling and doing, which I then try to put on paper. So find what makes writing fun for you, and hold onto that ^-^
But also, write what you find fun! I love fluff and romance stories, so that's what I write most, with Espio and Silver. I think that's why New Beginnings was so enjoyable for me to work on: there was an overarching plot and some stakes, but most of it was very lowkey cuteness of the bois getting to know each other better and falling in love. Maybe I myself should look into that for Could Reminisce Forever too🤔
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thessalian · 1 year ago
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Thess vs Ticket Issues
Anyone who thinks that nerds are childish and somehow lacking in adulthood because of their hobbies and interests really needs to watch us arrange a convention sometime. I'm not even talking about the money required to go to a convention. I'm talking logistics. Travel time, organisation of activities for every given day, sorting the souvenir budget. And that's just if everything goes right.
See, my mother booked a physical ticket when she bought me my weekend priority entry to MCM Comic Con this year, and it arrived on Friday. My stepfather brought it Sunday when he finished programming the new heaters (well, one of the new heaters; today's the other one, fixing a hole he made in a wall, and sorting out the boiler ... theoretically, anyway). The first thing I thought was, "Ooh, pretty". The second thing I thought was, "...wait, why does this only say Sunday Priority instead of Weekend Priority?" I mean, the envelope was opened, and Mum and David had already had a look, but they don't understand how any of this works, and anyway probably stopped looking particularly closely when they saw MCM on the flier inside and knew it was technically mine. So they obviously didn't catch it. I, however, did, and it's my ticket, so I was going to have to sort something out.
At first I thought, "Well, maybe it's only the physical ticket that says the wrong thing and the QR code is fine" ... but I was deluding myself because the card is honestly more like a gift card you can get for various shops than anything else, and that probably means that there's just a batch of tickets with QR codes on them for specific days pre-printed and sent out as appropriate, and I just got the wrong one. However, I did want to confirm, so I downloaded the app for the convention (entire conventions have apps now, which I'm sure is helpful but still will not stop being weird) and begin the process of activating my ticket, just to see what happens. I eventually get the text boxes for confirming individual day tickets and weekend tickets. Try my confirmation code in the Weekend Priority Ticket box ... before I even hit submit, it's telling me that the code is invalid. Put the confirmation code for Sunday in? No such message. So they sent me the wrong ticket. Well, fuck.
First thing I did was check to see if that had happened to anyone else. If it has, it isn't a huge deal on the places people complain about such (like, for instance, Reddit), at least not even under the best search terms my black belt in Google-fu could generate. Now, there was the option to email the con runners, but ... well ... much as I hate and despise it, sometimes you just have to talk to a human being for some peace of mind. So I called the line for queries.
Surprisingly, I got an actual person on the line right away. A person in a really shitty wireless headset who I could only partly understand, but an actual person. So I explained the issue, gave him the QR code on the physical ticket and the confirmation ID on the confirmation email my mother forwarded to me, and now all I have to do is go to the query desk with my confirmation ID on my phone and it'll all get sorted. And I had to go to the query desk anyway for an accessibility lanyard, so that's okay. I mean, I'm going to bring my physical ticket just in case they want to see it, but that's only because decades as a secretary has taught me to cover your ass and have all even potentially relevant documents to hand when you're dealing with an issue. Better overprepared than having to fumble for things.
So that's my spark of adrenaline for the day - I actually had to ring customer service and sort out a problem. Because seriously, Marion's coming for the whole weekend and my autographs are booked for Saturday, so going only on Sunday is not an option, even if my mother hadn't spent just over £100 for the ticket, the delivery of physical ticket that they screwed up anyway, and a souvenir pin badge that I also have to pick up at the query desk. Or at least a query desk.
Anyway, look, I adulted my ass off to sort out the mess the people sending tickets made of my con information. Nobody gets to tell me that going to a comic convention makes me less than adult.
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firstdivisiongirl · 7 months ago
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Heyyy I'm that anon who forgot to put stuff in the matchup request, which I'm really sorry for, should've been more careful ☹️☹️
Anyway I updated the whole thing and was wondering if you could do the matchup again?? It's okay if not
Again, I would like a romantic matchup for TR. The gender of the character doesn't matter
Pronouns she/he/they
Sexuality: biromantic and demisexual
I'm a Leo if that's of any help😭
I'm an INTP 5w4 (also phlegmatic-sanguine).Personality wise I'm a very calm person that looks tired most of the time but I also get extremely talkative when I'm with people I'm comfortable with or whom I've known for e very long time. And when I'm with those people I'm the teasing flirty type.I'm also very lazy, like hella lazy. I mostly sleep around all day and do nothing unless I REALLY have to.
People in general don't talk to me unless I butt into the conversation and then I sort of steal the spotlight even though I don't really mean it, but people don't seem to mind because they say I'm funny.So basically at first glance I get deemed as an extrovert. Even tho whenever I manage to get rid of people I basically become a human fossil and not talk to anyone and that goes as far as ignoring texts for months, which I agree is a toxic trait.So yeah, I'm going to ghost people no matter who they are at some point.I've seen someone include this so I'm going to say it: my giving love language are words of affirmation and receiving would be gifts or physical touch.
Okay as for likes and dislikes (sorry that I forgot about this, my bad):
Dislikes: people who think they know everything, bullies, people who don't know when to shut up- people-. Okay no, just kidding. I dislike most types of food, aka I'm a picky eater. I also dislike being told what to do and stuff like that
Likes: I like a lot of stuff actually. From comics to games to manga to anime to banana ice cream (don't ask why that's relevant). I also love collecting stuff. Like it could be random rocks or merch, I like to collect.
I also have the usual hobbies aka reading, drawing and listening to music. I like to write too. And does annoying my friends count?? A hobby of mine (if it's even considered a hobby) is to psychoanalyze people. Okay not doing a full psychoanalysis of them, just analyzing them in general.
And again sorry for forgetting stuff :((
Hello there. No need to apologize. Things happen all the time. I am just happy that I am able to fulfill your request. So...I hope you like it!
You Got...
Hinata Tachibana!!!!
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Would 100% bring you little collectibles wherever she goes!
She would understand that you need time to be alone and respect that. Would she worry? Yes. Would she eventually realize that you are okay? Yes.
She would always tell you how much she loves you and how she thinks you are amazing.
Would defend you if anyone tried to bully you, since you hate people like that.
Would think you are super funny and super nice.
Dates would be either to get ice cream or maybe a concert.
I can picture you flirting with her and she gets super happy and flustered all at the same time.
Will listen to you talk for hours because she loves you and finds you so interesting.
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mokkemusic · 2 years ago
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CHIHAYAFURU MANGA (first time read live thread) moving this here to make sure I never lose it its memories! Just for myself and everything I have felt!
I only started recording my reactions at the bridge scene so thats why this is cut  like this. I do have a whole anime thread as well I want to save later.
And when I mean just for myself I mean it. If I have to add videos they will be with every reblog cause they are mine! I want to keep them😭 I had this thread on twitter first btw. But also kinda hope you don’t actually look so far down this cause if they are videos they will be me being hysterical over Taichi over Chihaya over everyone and no I won’t apologize you’ve been warned 😂 also again for anyone seeing this this was memories from my FIRST read through ok so like I may have been harsh to some characters or not understood things but these are my feelings I can’t stress that enough. Just let me archive this in peace ❤️ but feel free to look at it if you feel like you want some entertainment or listening to me cry (I know I am cringe I do NOT care) this series is everything to me. Ok now that the ground rules are covered we start with hysterics cause that’s the best way
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OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG I NEED TO SCREAM TO SOMEONE If you know you know Like I knew but.. not not like THAT Wow I cantttt (Now for context later I was hysterical crying in my room at 3am because I am referring to the BRIDGE SCENE)
How is this manga so damn powerful
*gonna run into a walllll* I’ll be a - aghhhhh ahhh
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I’m going to sleep so starting volume 28 is gonna have to wait. But the first chapter art Chillaxin?! This man is the opposite of Chillaxin (but I love that he’s smiling bright)
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CHIHAYA !!! Cold hard.. heavy?
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DR HARADA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
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How could anyone even think it was anyone else… Chihaya in this state I-
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I’m really starting to love this guy And oh yea this poem isn’t relevant no
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HIRO !! I screamed I actually screamed I love him - see this is what I’m saying every character here you just they make me so happy BUT ALSO DONT ASK CHIHAYA WERE TAICHI IS!  I love you Hiro but noo
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aasfhvnbmb I’m ROLLING ON THE FLOOR …Dana you can’t do this for every panel I CAN AND I WILL DAMMIT HER FACE!
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You see you see this is why I held off reading   Asfhghgjgjhjnkkjchjkjhjjl *wheres the brick wall I gotta throw myself at it again*
Nooo that’s the one that’s the one that’s the one ..
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How did I get to love Sumire so much. Have so much respect for her. She’s grown so much
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Oh Chihaya my baby you left a legacy tho… it will continue after your gone but… oh oh And Kanade’s face too “That’s not true anymore” PLEASE STOPPP
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SUDO SUDOS HERE!!!! SUDOS HERE!!! Buttt I gotta say I went from that to saying SUDO HOW COULD YOU I THOUGHT YOU WERE ROOTIN- Well you are sadistic after all BUT I know deep down you care. Your pressing buttons to see the react Is Chihaya’s breaking heart react for you enough
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I still love you tho Sudo I still love you 
We gotta take a moment to listen to the incredible anime ost to get all the feels before continuing I need that score music Ingrained in my SOUL (not that it already wasn’t) This one I found is on loop spectacular 
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I hate it here Yea yea don’t you feel bad now Sudo 
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WHAT??!! Um .. I’m sorry what? Why do I feel like I’m gonna start crying next ch
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THIS IS TOO MUCH ITS TOO MUCH
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So Chihaya starts playing like Taichi even though Arata is who she looks up to in the world of Karuta we can start to see how Chihaya looks to how Taichi plays how he’s the pillar for guidance Not the expression on his mothers face too. I can’t
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AADGVJK THIS WHOLE EXCHANGE 
Hiro keeps texting Taichi ! I love you Hiro
I just made an audio reaction to seeing Taichi again and I don’t know if I should share this but you know what? I’ll regret my foolery later I definitely will but rn I have no fear and I’m emotional so! 
I’m just happy to see his face no what ok 🤧🤧  
Is his hearing getting better? Is his game sense getting better?
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OH MY GODDDDDD But you know why YOU KNOW WHY 😭 “…Yea Your right.”
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Ok I’m sincerely convinced this manga just wants to kill me. In every aspect I’ve come to this conclusion in this moment
Hiro 🥺
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ASDGHJK the Sudo fan I mean I can’t blame em 😂
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Pls I can’t I can’t I can’t
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I could go into whole thing of how now Taichi is inspiring her. She’s not idolizing him. But his little things are actually a huge thing how it’s inspiring her to be better not just for herself but to help the rest but I need to keep reading so later 
Rip my heart out why don’t you Chihaya it’s not -
I wanted the 5 of us … 🥹 *im not about to breakdown I’m not*
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She…she sends the poem The last card that was read was “Se” “A mighty boulder in a stream Divides the foaming flow; But reunited, on it goes, and so we will we, I know.”
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I need to put together a compilation of how everyone asks “where’s Taichi?” But they only say it to Chihaya and how Chihaya looks like her hearts ripped out  whenever it happens. Cause you know that’d be fun right? 
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UPDATE AND THEN I DID 🙂🥲 EDIT HERE
ADFGJKASDH THATS CHIHAYA ISNT IT? THATS CHIHAYA
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Not coach crying and praying to the shrine for Chihaya Oh I love her so much
Sudo appreciation time 👌🏻 cause it’s very important 🤧🤧👌🏻👌🏻 I love this man! His face brings me so much joy
WHY … WHY?! WOULD YOU DO THIS TO HIRO (this is the most disrespectful thing) CAN’T YOU GIVE THIS MAN A BREAK?!😭😭 VS ARATA?! He doesn’t have a chance he’s gonna be flattened in 5 secs 😭🤧 And he’s actually doing it to help his team 🤧👌🏻
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I really need to stop doing this I really need to stop embarrassing myself 
I love how the others are just like AYASE?? OUT OF EVERYONE AYASE?! WTF MASHIMA 😂 🤧 They don’t understanddd
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IM HAVING SO MANY EMOTIONSSSSS
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! I MEAN I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW I GET IT I DONT BLAME ANYONE I KNOW I KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE! He’s just saying he wants her to want him. It’s a human emotion that’s not a wrong thing to FEEL! MY SOUL IS BEINH SQUISHED
I HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE MATCH AFTER THIS?! It’s fine it’s fine
*where’s that brick wall my old friend … I’m throwing… hurtling my body at you*
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I KNEW IT I F KNEW IT!
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The fact that he has the call with his mom🥺 And his talk with Suou! And and Taichi please come please come watch 🥹🥹
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God I love this series so much 
Wtf That - that I wasn’t expecting.
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krispytidalwavesheep · 4 years ago
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Hopes and Dreams III
.I am not entirely sure about this chapter, if I’m completely honest, so I’ll probably rewrite it at a later time. If you want to get added to the taglist just let me know! Thanks for your continuos support with this fic, it honestly gives me so much life right now! *** Chapter 3
“There seem to still be a few things you haven’t seen.” Lady Dimitrescu stated after you reached the sitting room.
“It’s not everyday that you see girls turn into a swarm of bugs. I’ve seen a lot, but I never said I have seen everything.”
“Which brings me to the question that I want answered. What are you? My first guess would be that you are a vampire, like me and my daughters, but I have a feeling that that isn’t true. Sit down please, so that I can take a look at your wound.” Her tone brooked no argument, so you did as you were told and rolled up the leg of your pants. You winced when you saw the true extend of the damage. Even with enhanced healing it would take a few hours to properly heal.
“My biological father was a scientist, who researched a lot of occult and supernatural topics. He was also a massive asshole who thought it okay to experiment on his own baby daughter, so there’s that. I don’t know how, but someone he got his hands on the DNA of some creature no one really has a name for, but I have a guess. The only thing he really knew, was that they are like Vampires, but much more powerful.
He injected me with the DNA when I was four, but nothing happened, so I was deemed a failure. He did all kinds of tests on me, to see if the DNA would activate, but it didn’t. At least not until he tried to kill me. I was no stranger to torture after he failed, but that night I knew he came to finish it. I was 10, and I was scared and angry, so much so, that something in me broke. There wasn’t much left of him after I was finished. 
I’ll spare you most of the details of what happened after, since it is not relevant for what you want to know, and I hate the feeling of being exposed when I don’t know if I can trust the person in front of me. I ran away and my benefactor found me and took me in. I don’t know how, but somehow, he knew what I had become, and he took it upon himself to make sure that I got the best training I could get. I can somewhat use my enhanced abilities, but I am not completely awakened. I’ll get to that part shortly. 
After 6 years I was deemed ready to repay the favor and got sent on a hunt for rare artifacts, as I mentioned earlier. I was free to research my condition whenever the opportunity arose, and I did. I traveled the whole world, met all kinds of creatures and people, yet no one could help me with my predicament. That was until 8 months ago, when I found the first real clue. But that clue came with a price and I have been cursed. 
I still don’t have a name for the creature that I have become, but I found an old text that explained a lot to me. My kind won’t fully awaken until they bond themselves to another being, that has roughly the same power that we have. That’s where the curse made things more complicated: If I try to bond with anyone that isn’t my destined mate, I will die. Slowly and painfully. 
And if that isn’t enough, the curse took the ability to sense my mate away from me, at least in the traditional sense. Usually, we will know our mate by smell alone, for their blood will sing to us like nothing else ever could. We would feel a strong pull towards them, and they to us, for our blood will be just as exquisite to them, as theirs is to us. The curse took that ability away from me, and now I am destined to walk the earth, waiting for my mate to find me. 
Another side effect is what I call ‘boiling blood’. When I feel threatened enough it will activate and temporarily awaken me. I can’t control it though, and that is the problem. It only happened once so far, and that was when someone I care a great deal for, got hurt. But I have it under control for the most part. I just don’t like it when people I care about get hurt, I lost myself even before the curse happened. And I do understand if you deem me to dangerous and kick me out of the castle. You wouldn’t be the first one.” You ended lamely and sighed. It always took a lot out of you when you talked about the past. 
“You mentioned that you have a theory about what exactly you are?” Alcina asked and gently patted your dressed wound. You suppressed the gentle shiver that wanted to roll down your body and said, “I think I am a Vampire, but one of the first generation.”
***
“And what makes you think that?” Alcina asked carefully. You pondered that for a moment, her eyes never leaving you. She could see that it took a toll on you to tell her all that, and she could understand that. Admitting what had happened couldn’t be easy, especially when there was the possibility that you would be thrown out or worse. Alcina didn’t plan on doing either of those things though, and she would tell you soon enough. An idea was forming in her head.
“I read a lot about vampires and had my fair share of encounters, none of them as nice as the one with you, so I figured it must be something like that. Whenever a Vampire turns someone, a miniscule part of their DNA gets implanted in the one they’ve turned. That is why your Maker will always be stronger than you. But since I got way more DNA with fathers’ experiments, it could mean that I am the first person who got turned into a Vampire of the first generation. And if not first, then second, which would still be infinitely more powerful than a Vampire of third or fourth generation. Although I can’t be sure, since I destroyed everything that could give me a clue, when I killed my father.” You said silently, looking at the floor. Alcina couldn’t help but feel pity for you. A bad hand was dealt to you, and you just tried to live your life. She also admired how strong and confident you were, even after all that had happened.
“I have an offer for you.” Alcina said and put two fingers under your chin to make you look at her, ignoring your blush.
“Stay here. You have nowhere else to go, right? You fascinate me and I want to know more about your abilities if you are willing to show me. And I could use a hand to help me in the castle’s upkeep. But make no mistake, my dear. As soon as you show me that you become a threat, I will dispose of you. What do you say?” Alcina asked, but she knew your answer already. She could see it in the softening of your eyes and the spark of hope that flickered in your eyes. You gently nodded and gave her the most brilliant smile she had ever seen. Both of you briefly wondered where that feeling of trust came from, you more than Alcina, but for the moment it was enough.
***
A weird sense of coming home fell over you, when you looked into her eyes, that had gentled with your consent. She could probably kill you with a snap of her fingers, but somehow you got the feeling that she wouldn’t. Most people feared you when you told them what you were, not all of them humans either. But she gave you the feeling of safety, no matter what your nature was, and you wondered. Could she be the one that was fated to be with you? Or was that just wishful thinking, because she showed you kindness where everybody else would only show you fear and hatred? You were immensely attracted to her, that’s for sure, but could she be the one? 
“I want to see the full extend of your abilities as fast as possible if you don’t mind. If it is alright with you, I would arrange a little sparring session between you and my daughters.” Lady Dimitrescu said and took a seat on the chaise lounge in front of you. 
“I wouldn’t mind. It has been far too long since someone has offered me a challenge, so I will gladly accept, my Lady. My wound should be fully healed by tomorrow, so we can start first thing if you’d like,” you offered, eager to show her what you were capable of. Maybe she will keep you around for longer if you show her that you would be a valuable asset to her castle.
“I would like that very much, my dear. But now is time for you to eat and rest, as it is rather late. The day has been rather long and eventful, not just for you.”
“Of course, my Lady,” you smile and as if on cue, the door to the sitting room opened and one of the daughters entered the room with two plates. You hadn’t even realized how hungry you were until the smell of the food hit your nostrils. The two of you ate in companionable silence, and soon enough it was time to leave her presence for the night. 
The guest room she showed you was like nothing you have ever slept in before. You were used to all sorts of places to sleep, but never have you seen a bed so big and comfortable looking.
“Good Night, my dear. I hope you sleep well,” Lady Dimitrescu said and left you to your own devices before you could answer her. You dressed down to your tank top and shorts and fell into a peaceful slumber as soon as your head hit the pillow.
***
When you next opened your eyes, you were surrounded by the familiar darkness of your dreamscape, yet something felt different. You could sense a presence at the edge pf your consciousness and soon enough, a gentle voice spoke to you “So you finally found her.”
“Huh?” you asked into the darkness, chills running down your spine. The voice giggled and a shadow crept into the edge of your vision, which soon turned into a girl, that oddly enough, had somewhat of a resemblance to you.
“Who are you?”
“You’ll have to find that our for yourself. But what matters is, that you have finally found her. My Alcina,” the girl said and looked close to tears, although she was still smiling.
“Don’t get me wrong, but I don’t think that Lady Dimitrescu belongs to anyone.” You said, defensive of the Lady. That made the girl laugh again, and you couldn’t get over the fact that she looked so much like yourself.
“You are right. But she was mine, as I was hers, a long time ago. Listen, the castle’s magic is strong, but not strong enough to give me enough time to explain everything. Just trust me, okay? Stay by her side, no matter what. Protect her. But most important: Take care of yourself. She lost us too many times already, but maybe you are the one that will break this hellish circle.” 
“I-I don’t understand!” you said desperately, trying to reach for the girl, but she was already fading.
“We will speak to each other again when the time is right. Until then, remember my words. Please protect her. Do what we couldn’t do and survive.” Were her parting words before you awoke, drenched in cold sweat. What the fuck was that?
But no matter how hard you tried to grasp at your dream and its implications, you felt your consciousness fading and fell back into a deep slumber.
***** Taglist: @imdreamingblo @x-x-trixxster-k-m-w-x-x
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five-rivers · 3 years ago
Text
Danger First
Chapter 3
@pocketramblr (also please let me know if you would like me to stop tagging you on these, I don't want to be annoying. :))
"WAIT!" shouted Nana abruptly, as Izuku was talking to his (weirdo) teacher. "I know who that is! Quick, get ready to turn everything off!"
"Turn what off?" asked En. "We live in a formless mental void. We don't even have electricity."
"The quirk! That's Eraserhead!"
"Oh, yeah," said Yoichi, while everyone else (sans Second and Third) scrambled to grab onto the quirk. "I remember Eight meeting him, now! So, he's a teacher, huh?"
"How do all of you forget the one person who might be capable of one-shotting All for One?" demanded Nana.
"Doesn't his quirk not work on mutations?"
"Stop daydreaming and get over here, Yoichi!"
The quirkspace began to glow faintly, ominously red, and the ghosts pulled hard on the quirk, holding it temporarily out of Izuku's reach.
Then, the red glow abated and they dropped it back into place.
"Well, that was exhausting," said Banjo. "So, we'll have to be constantly ready for that, huh?"
"As long as he's around, yeah," said Nana.
"Why did we just do that, anyway?" asked En.
"So we can continue to masquerade as a normal, non-haunted quirk?"
"We could have just let him think he didn't have a quirk, or that the anxiety-"
"Super anxiety."
"-isn't part of it."
Yoichi gasped, as if scandalized. "You'd want us to lie to Izuku?"
"Okay, seriously, what is up with you and Nine?" asked En.
Despite not having a body, Yoichi began to visibly sweat. "Nothing, nothing at all. I just... think he's neat?"
"If you're going to lie to us, can you not do it with archaeomemes?" asked Nana.
"No, no, actually, I can get behind this," said En. "Would you say Izuku has... vibes?"
Yoichi nodded solemnly.
.
"Young Midoriya!"
Izuku shrieked and jumped back from the sudden sound as All Might suddenly emerged from an otherwise innocuous bush.
Both of them froze, staring at each other.
"Are you..." said All Might, hesitantly, sounding much more like he did in his small form than usual, "alright?"
"I... think so?"
"That's good, then." All Might coughed slightly into his fist. "I was wondering if you had a few minutes."
"Of- of course!" said Izuku, immediately.
"Then allow me to lead the way!"
All Might led him through a door labeled 'staff only' and immediately deflated. "All the staff know about my condition," explained Mr. Yagi.
Izuku nodded. Then a thought occurred to him. "Mr. Yagi?"
"Yes, my boy?"
"Why, um, why don't you teach, um, as Mr. Yagi? Instead of as All Might? Wouldn't it save your time?"
Mr. Yagi stopped and scratched his head. "I hadn't really thought about it before," he admitted. "But part of the reason I took this job, other than wanting to help train the next generation of heroes, of course, is that I want to get people used to the idea that I am going to retire." He tugged on one of his bangs. "Also, ah, I'm not sure if my qualifications to teach are quite up to par without my reputation."
"I'm sure it would be fine! You're the best, after all!"
Mr. Yagi chuckled. "I'm glad you think so," he said. Then he reached behind him and opened a door. "In any case: my office."
"Wow," said Izuku, quietly, stepping in. "All Might's office..." Who knew when he'd get another opportunity like this again? He kept his eyes wide to drink in the details.
The rather sparse details. The office was rather bare. Which made sense, seeing as All Might was a brand-new teacher. It was sort of... disappointing, as thrilling as it was.
Mr. Yagi sat down behind the desk and gestured for Izuku to take one of the other chairs. It had a lot of cushioning. A lot a lot. Izuku sank down into the fluff as Mr. Yagi fiddled with a drawer on his desk. He got the drawer open, and pulled out a notebook. A notebook of the same brand Izuku liked to use, actually.
"Since your experiences with One for All are so different from mine, I thought it might be a good idea to do some research into past holders and take a leaf out of your notebook, as it were." He passed the notebook over to Izuku, who took it with shaking hands and a slightly open mouth.
"I'll treasure it," he declared, voice wobbling.
"Not so much that you don't use it, I hope," said Mr. Yagi. "As it is, it's only an overview. The earlier holders, especially, don't have many records associated with them. Consider it a starting point. I haven't had much time to work on it."
"I can't believe you found the time to write this at all," said Izuku, flipping through the pages. The information was sparse, but each holder had a basic profile, all the way back to the fourth. "I mean, between being a hero, training me, and preparing to be a teacher, I'm stunned nothing fell by the wayside!"
Mr. Yagi proceeded to turn a very interesting color.
"Uh, nothing fell by the wayside, right?"
"Why don't you take a few minutes to skim through. If anything jumps out at you right away, we can talk about it. And then I'll let you go get changed and go home, and we can discuss more later, after you've had more time with it."
"Okay!" said Izuku. He'd start with just the basic profiles. Name, date of birth, date of death, quirk... wait, those ages... "They all died young," he said, softly.
"Hero work is dangerous," said Mr. Yagi, hand going to his side.
"There's something else, isn't there?"
"Not something you need to worry about. I took care of it, years ago." The hand holding his side spasmed slightly.
"... Six years ago?" asked Izuku, aware he was pushing his luck. But this sounded both important and relevant.
There was a long pause. "Yes," said All Might, finally. "A villain with a longevity quirk. He... had a history with the first user."
Izuku got the feeling that was an understatement. It also seemed unlikely that the only application of the villain's quirk was longevity, given what he'd done to All Might. But the subject was clearly making All Might uncomfortable, so he dropped it in favor of burying his nose in the notebook again.
(Social fumbles aside, this was the most secure Izuku had felt for... a while.)
"The sixth user had a smoke quirk?"
"Yes, it seems so. Although it doesn't seem to have been actual smoke, but a biological compound."
"I wonder if that has anything to do with all the steam you release when you deflate. Actually..." he flipped back through the quirk. "I wonder if you're using Float, too, subconsciously, when you jump."
"What?"
"I- I mean," said Izuku, "I noticed, when, um, when I grabbed your ankle and also in videos of you- Your hang time is kind of messed up? You're in the air for longer than you should be, but it isn't, like, consistent? Plus, you can change direction mid-air, which I thought was because you were shooting out blasts of air pressure with your quirk, but with me on your ankle, you definitely didn't do that. There was- there was a forum I was on where some people thought your quirk tapped into magnetic fields, somehow, but that doesn't make any sense, because you'd expect a lot more electronic interference and that similar locations would produce similar results, given the Earth's magnetic field, but they don't. But subconscious, low-level use of a telekinesis-based flying quirk would explain everything. If we take into account what you said about my anxiety after the entrance exam, then that's minor expressions of three out of four of the quirks listed here, not counting the base stockpile and enhancement quirk. Do you think the unknown quirks of the second and third users might have partially manifested for you as well? Have you experienced anything else that's atypical for a strength enhancement quirk?"
Mr. Yagi stared at Izuku.
Oh, no, he'd gone too far.
"Nothing immediately comes to mind, my boy," he said, faintly. "But... magnets? Really?"
"I told you it didn't make any sense."
Mr. Yagi rubbed his chin. "There might be something, but... it's too unclear to say either way. I'll keep an eye out. It's just... a lot to take in. I thought One for All was done surprising me."
"When has it surprised you before?"
"Oh, under the influence of certain mental quirks, you can wind up hallucinating the previous users."
"Hallucinating?"
"Yes. But being under the influence of a mental quirk is always the larger issue, so..."
"Mr. Yagi," said Izuku. "That's really the kind of thing you should let people know about up front."
"I- is it?"
.
The ghosts all stared at Nana.
"Hey, don't blame this on me! None of us explained that kind of stuff before passing One for All on."
"In our defense," said En, half raising a hand, "we were usually dying when we passed it on."
"More importantly," said Hikage, "do you think Ninth is right about the quirks?"
"It would make sense," mused Yoichi. "Although then we'd have to wonder why Blackwhip didn't manifest similarly."
"Is it too much for me to get someone to use my quirk? My extremely awesome quirk, that has no downsides?"
"It is powered almost exclusively by rage."
"No downsides."
"You-"
"No. Downsides."
.
Aizawa passed him an envelope labeled 'quirk counseling' along with the standard schedule and orientation packet he was handing to everyone else. It didn't look like any of his class mates had noticed, though, for which Izuku was grateful. He didn't want to be known as a weirdo who didn't know what his own quirk was.
He heavily suspected he was tapping into Danger Sense, somehow, but he didn't know how, and the fourth user of One for All had lived so long ago there weren't any records of him. Not easily and publicly available. Everything Mr. Yagi had written in his notebook (that Izuku had probably stayed up way too late reading... and texting Mr. Yagi about it... and comparing it to his notes... and texting Mr. Yagi about that... and reviewing old All Might compilations and theory threads... and having Mr. Yagi threaten to call his mom if he didn't go to sleep...) about the fourth user had been retrieved from the journals Mr. Yagi's mentor had passed down, according to one of the source notes in the margin.
(Mr. Yagi had really neat, small handwriting, which Izuku wouldn't have ever expected from his large, dramatic signatures as All Might, and his notes were meticulous and carefully cited. If Izuku didn't know better, he would have thought it belonged to a secretary.)
But despite Izuku's suspicions, he didn't actually know. He didn't know it's range, what it defined as danger, whether or not it 'ranked' dangers, how to distinguish it from normal anxiety, or- Well. Anything, really. And he would really like to.
He opened the envelope quietly. Inside was a handwritten note instructing him to pick one of three schedules for quirk counseling and return it to Aizawa by the end of the day. The other pages were printed, with times and possible locations. Options for both before and after the school day.
Izuku felt his eyes tearing up. This was easily the nicest thing a teacher had ever done for him... Although he was nervous about being alone with Aizawa. Some of his other teachers, when they asked him to stay after class it was... not good.
Nothing bad happened, not like in movies or TV shows or the awareness videos the school had shown sometimes. The teachers didn't hurt him, really, didn't do anything to him, other than talk or yell, mostly, but it still wasn't good.
Maybe he could ask Mr. Yagi or Recovery Girl to sit in... But he already felt bad, taking up so much of their time.
He picked one of the after school schedules. He was already staying late on the other days to work with Mr. Yagi, and if something did go wrong, he wanted to have the night to recover before he had to face Aizawa again in class.
He put it to the side, so he'd remember to give it to Aizawa before he left, then looked over the class schedule. Homeroom, Math, Hero Art History, History, and English in the morning. At least this morning. The history classes alternated with something called Heroics-Applied Science and Hero Law and Ethics. Afternoons, meanwhile, were entirely occupied by Hero Basic Training.
And every class would be taught by a pro hero. He wondered if it would be rude to ask for their autographs...
.
Shouta grunted as Hizashi flopped down onto the couch next to him on the couch in the staff breakroom. "What a morning! I just love seeing all those bright little faces at the beginning of the year. Anyone have a favorite first year yet?"
Shouta kicked Hizashi through his sleeping bag. Sadly, this had no effect on the man.
"I think mine might be the little green guy. He's the only one who was actually paying attention, and you know how rare that is, when everyone is anticipating their first heroics lesson. The rest of us just pale in comparison."
Shouta attempted to kick Hizashi again, this time for an entirely different reason. Midoriya was already All Might's favorite (probably)- he did not need more pull with the staff.
"I know who my least favorite is," said Kan. "Kid's certainly dedicated and competitive, but I wouldn't be surprised if he threatened his middle school teachers into giving him those glowing reviews. His personality needs a lot of work. How did you get Nezu to saddle me with Bakugo, anyway, Eraser?"
"I had nothing to do with it."
"Don't give me that, I was going to have Monoma. At least he's a team player."
"You're being illogical," said Shouta, zipping his sleeping bag closed over his face.
"How about you, Nemuri?" asked Hizashi, cutting off Vlad King vs Eraserhead round five hundred.
"It's hard to choose! They're all so cute and eager! Full of the passion of youth! I think they're all my favorite."
"You always say that..."
The door opened and closed.
"All Might! What about you? Any favorites yet?"
Yagi coughed. "I've only had the one class of third years so far. Don't you think that's rather... premature?"
What an incredible nonanswer.
"How did that first class of yours go, anyway? They didn't sour you to the whole idea of teaching, did they?"
"Not at all! The students were wonderful. The third years are very advanced, aren't they? For some of them, I wouldn't be shocked to see that skill level on an active sidekick."
"What can I say? We start them off right," crowed Hizashi.
"They did seem a little surprised by the scenario, however."
"So was I, t'be honest," said Snipe, who was in charge of the third years.
"Ah, was it no good...?"
"It was fine. Lesson plan was a bit rough around the edges, but you and Nezu'll be goin' over that later. But... quirk traffickin' doesn't quite seem like your thing."
"Ah, well, set-pieces," he said, using the slightly derisive underground slang for large-scale spotlight hero battles, "may be what I'm known for, but before my injury, the majority of my battles and investigations weren't publicized."
"Shield laws?" asked Nemuri.
"Generally, yes, but some of the investigations were tied to others, so we were using the organized crime secrecy laws to keep those under wraps. Simply put, my popularity isn't the only reason I keep the number one spot despite Endeavor having more completed cases than me on paper."
Shouta had known there was more to All Might than 'punchy, over-the-top, eyestrain-causing, bombastic muscle guy,' but part of his stupid, illogical brain was annoyed at Yagi for pummeling that image into imaginary dust, anyway. It seemed like the man's only two flaws were horrible interpersonal skills when not using his public persona, and his vast suite of health issues, the latter of which all heroes who operated long enough picked up.
Oh, and a possible inclination towards bribery.
Made it hard to dislike him, which Shouta wanted to do, because he was loud, flashy, and gave him headaches, literal and metaphorical. He ignored the fact that Hizashi was the same way, and had forcibly become Shouta's best friend. Clearly, there was no connection here.
"By the way, why is young Aizawa completely zipped in like that?"
"Nap time," said Hizashi, solemnly.
.
"Sir?" said Iida, raising his hand.
"Yes, young man?" boomed All Might.
"There are nineteen of us. How are we handling the odd person out?"
"Excellent question! In other exercises, we may handle it differently, but for today, one of you will be working alone! Occasionally, a hero may find themselves isolated when they originally expected help. However, for better balance, I have also arranged it so the odd hero out will be taking part in the last battle, so you'll have more time to strategize!"
But the other team would also have more time to strategize, Izuku noted. He really hoped it wouldn't be him... not that he wanted to force it on any if his classmates! He just didn't want yet another handicap on the first day of training.
All Might walked around with the box of ballots, pausing for each student to take one. He reached Izuku and held the box out to him with a wink. Izuku smiled back, reached in, and grabbed one.
A chill ran up his back and he froze, fingers wrapped tightly around the little ball. Something told him this was definitely the cursed, single-person ballot. Could he let it go? Would it be considered cheating if he picked a new one?
But All Might was already walking away. Every part of his body tense, Izuku turned his hand over and forced his fingers apart.
J.
The tenth character of the Latin alphabet. For the tenth, last, team.
He watched as everyone else started to pair up, and All Might looked at him apologetically.
Izuku approximated a smile. Plus ultra, right?
143 notes · View notes
blushing-titan · 4 years ago
Text
My thoughts on ch. 139
Some of you may be familiar with my previous writings - I usually try to stay as collected as possible, but today's post will be different. Ever since the chapter came out, I've been reblogging a lot of rants and memes about it. Those of you who follow my blog (thank you so much, really happy to have you here! ❤) know that I didn't really enjoy this ending. I want to elaborate more on that in this post - my only advice is to buckle up, because today we may get a bit heated (I apologize in advance for the sassy approach - I usually try to stray away from that, but guess today's post is more of a stream of conciousness/rant) :'D
1. Ymir
Starting up with one of the most controversial things about this chapter. Up to this point, I felt really bad for Ymir. Her life was terrible - she was a young girl, who was enslaved and abused by king Shitz Fritz. After she was forced to run away from his hounds, she acquired the power of titans and used it to help the king's cause. For that, she was awarded with the king's seed (🤢), and eventually became a mother of three girls. Through her entire life, she was treated as a slave and a lesser-being by the king - she also died while protecting him, and her daughters were forced to eat her remains after that (🤢🤢).
It felt so tragic to see her 2000 years later, still walking blindly in the paths. It wasn't enough that she was hurt so badly when she was still alive - she remained enslaved to the abusive king even after she died. I was rooting for her to finally be freed from this nightmare - hence I was so happy when ch. 122 came out and we got this scene:
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I was genuinely emotional when I saw her reaction. Finally, someone expressed some authentic care for her and tried to snap her out of this blind state. She would finally think about what she wants and try to free herself from the paths because, as Eren said, she was never a slave or a goddess - just a regular person. It's just like she finally let out all the pain that she's been suppressing for all these years.
Yeah...except, as it turns out, her awakening here changes nothing. She doesn't come to any conclusions, like, perhaps, that she doesn’t want to let herself be hurt and mistreated any longer...or that she should fight for herself, try to change her fate - because, after all, her life belongs to her - not anyone else.
Nothing like this happens. Why? Because, as it turns out, she's in love with king Fritz and needs to be proven by Mikasa that she can break this bond first.
....
💀💀💀💀
Excuse me, but...what?
Okay, first and foremost...am I supposed to believe that, during these 2000 years, no one else has gone against their unhealthy affection to someone toxic and unworthy of their love? No one? 🤡 Come on, we even saw that happen in the manga. What about Historia, who thought that her own mother hitting her was a sign of love? Who wanted to believe that her father was good, despite wanting to turn her into a titan? Where was Ymir when Historia stood up for herself against her father's wishes? Or when she flew up to him and delivered the final blow against him?
On top of that...what a disappointing conclusion to Ymir's story. I hoped that she would take her fate into her own hands, and - for example - be reborn and experience life as a free person, surrounded by people who actually care about her. Free herself from paths and destroy it - not because someone shows her that she can indeed detach herself from it, but simply because she wants to.
Instead, 80% of the world population is gone, because she needed to see that Mikasa is able to "free" herself from Eren in order to do the same.
🤡🤡🤡
2. Abandoned plotlines and plot-holes
Mikasa being a Hizuru princess? Never heard of that. Hallucigenia's fate? Who cares. Eren directing Dina's titan in Carla's direction in order to save Berthold? Nah, who would want any more info on that - guess he just couldn't direct her anywhere else. The Ackerman's headaches? Pfff. The fact that Mikasa shouldn't be affected by the memory altering, but somehow still is in the ending? "I guess she just forgot that she should be immune to this". Why was Historia's pregnancy implied as relevant if it wasn't in the end? So many precious panels wasted on that, when they could be used to help solve some other "unanswered questions" instead. Ehhh...🤷
3. Blatant character assassination
There, I'm saying it once again. I have no idea what happened in this chapter but the characters are off. What about Eren - the one who has always believed that freedom was his birthright, and has been fighting and moving forward for his goals? Yeah, turns out he has no idea why he was doing all of that. 
Remember Kenny's quote - everyone is a slave to something? I thought that this implication was pretty poetic in context of Eren's character. Through all his life, he sought freedom, but ironically, he was a slave to that dream...
...turns out it may have been a bit too poetic for this story because Eren is a slave to destiny. Literally - he's going on auto-pilot in order to reach that one moment in which Mikasa beheads him, so Ymir can watch and understand that she can do the same.
Nice joke...except not. Here go our main character's motivations 🗑
He casually commits unjustifiable crimes against humanity - not because he wants to be free or because he found the world beyond the walls disappointing, (...as we were led to believe). He did that because he doesn't know why - and then, he cries that he doesn't want Mikasa to ever find another guy.
:'))
Turns out Eren was somehow always in love with her too...? Yeah, weird way of showing it. Or should I say - not showing it at all.
If you read my previous writings, you know that I'm not very fond of Eremika. The way I interpreted it while reading the story: it was unhealthy, suffocating and one-sided. I hoped for Mikasa to move on and start thinking about herself for once.
Right, what about Mikasa? Has she finally moved on? Is she content with her life? Are her dreams coming true? What's her daily life after all this? Sadly, I don't have the answers. The thing we are shown instead, is how she's sitting next to Eren's grave and, once again, thanking him for wraping the scarf around her. The only thing that implies that she may be somehow still seeing other people is one bubble of text. After all 139 chapters of hoping for her character developement, that's it.
Keep in mind that all other characters are shown together - with their spouses, families and friends - yet Mikasa is still separated and alone. That's right - after she disappears with Eren's head, she's not shown with anyone else until the end of the manga.
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While we're on the topic of others, too...do I have to talk about the scenes in which everyone shows some level of gratitude to Eren...for wiping 80% humanity for them? Because I have no words for this.
One last note: I found the humor to be slightly out of place, too. Seriously, after all these terrible events, with so many unanswered questions and character developement of these two...Reiner is still weirdly simping for (now married) Historia and Jean is called a horse face :') Idk, but it feels somehow surreal after everything that's happened.
4. Conclusion
What else can I say...the final chapter disappointed me and I'm pretty sad about it. I'm happy for the people who liked it, but also can't help but feel like it was very far from perfect. I've been following SnK ever since 2013 and it's a bittersweet moment for me. The series had a lot of amazing moments that I'll definitely remember forever. Meanwhile, I would like to read some of the author's thoughts about the way he chose to end the story - perhaps it would clear some confusion (...although I can't help the fact that my first opinion is already formed).
Thank you very much for reading my thoughts - as always, it means a lot to me! ❤ The images used in this post are obviously not mine!
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detectivereyes · 4 years ago
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I Want to Hold You Like You’re Mine
Summary: TK gets lonely in the ER.
Notes: idk if anyone is going to really read this because everyone is kinda distracted with the new episode and the promo for next week but yeah. this idea wouldn’t leave my head so now you get to read it too.
title from “agnes” by glass animals 
beta’d by @marjansmarwani
read on ao3
Watching the bustling waiting room, TK nervously twiddles his thumbs. He’s spent far too much time getting to know the emergency room at St. David’s that when he closes his eyes, he can picture the entire layout.
And yet, he somehow found himself back here again.
It wasn’t exactly his fault though. Granted, he could have been a little more careful going up the ladder on the truck. But the situation was getting urgent and he was so focused on getting to the top of the ladder that he didn’t even notice when his right foot got caught on one of the rungs and twisted his ankle in the wrong direction.
Which is how he ended up sitting in the waiting room yet again, his right ankle elevated on the chair across from him and the now melted ice pack resting on the swollen joint. He knows that he could just ask someone for a new one, but he’s been here long enough that they should be calling his name any moment now.
However as the minutes tick on, he gets more and more restless, and he wishes that there was someone here to talk to and take his mind off the persistent ache in his ankle. There had been some discussion about someone from his team staying with him but he had insisted that there was no real reason for the team to be two members down for something as minor as what’s probably only a sprained ankle. And of course, the 126 was called to another scene before it could be discussed further.
After Tommy dropped him off at the ER entrance, he thought he would be okay. However, on this abnormally busy day at the hospital, he only gets lonelier as he waits for his name to be called.
His loneliness getting the best of him, he pulls his phone out of his pocket and shoots a quick text to Carlos.
TK: are you busy?
He doesn’t even have shut the messages app before he sees the typing dots appear on his text thread.
Carlos: I’m on a call right now, but I can call you in a few minutes?
Of course. TK knew Carlos was working today, he should have known better than to bother him.
TK: nevermind, forgot you were on shift. it’s okay. 
He shuts off the device, only for it to light up again with Carlos’ name in the call ID. TK frowns, hitting the red decline button. His boyfriend should be focusing on his job, not needing to worry about how accident prone TK is.
His phone lights up again, and he declines it again.
By the third time it lights up, TK sighs in resignation and presses the green accept button.
“Hey Carlos,” TK greets with his best cheery voice and fake smile.
“TK, you denied my call twice. You do not get to ‘hey Carlos’ me. What’s going on?”
“It’s nothing, I forgot you were working today,” TK answers quickly. “I can talk to you later”
“It’s clearly something. Just tell me TK,” Carlos says, pausing while he waits for TK to answer. 
TK wonders if it’s worth it to explain the situation to his boyfriend. He knows that as soon as he tells him, that the other man will drop everything to come be by his side. And while the companionship would be welcome, he would feel guilty pulling Carlos away from his job.
Unfortunately, he waits too long to answer and Carlos speaks up again. “Wait, aren’t you on shift today too?”
“Well, yeah..”
“TK, where are you?” he firmly asks.
TK can tell he’s beginning to put the pieces together. The ambient noises of the waiting room are no doubt filtering through his phones speaker, not to mention the red flags it raises that TK is calling him while on shift to begin with.
“That’s not really relevant,” he says, trying to shift away from the topic.
“You’re at the hospital, aren’t you?”
“Yeah.”
“Shit, TK. Okay,” Carlos says, and TK can hear him mumble something in the background before coming back to the phone. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“That’s not really necessary,” TK tries to wave him off before Carlos cuts him off.
“Is anyone with you?”
“No,” he trails off.
“Then I’m coming.”
TK smiles to himself. He knows at this point there’s no talking Carlos out of it, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t looking forward to seeing the other man. “Okay, I’m still in the waiting room.”
“See you soon.”
The call disconnects, and TK cycles through the apps on his phone while he waits for Carlos to arrive, periodically looking up at the sliding glass doors of the emergency room entrance.
Eventually, Carlos does make his appearance in the waiting room, still in uniform and face flushed as he scans the area before meeting TK’s eye.
TK gives him a little wave and small smile, greeting his boyfriend with a kiss when Carlos takes a seat next to him.
“Hey, what happened?” Carlos asks, trying to mask the concern in his voice but TK still picks up on it.
TK explains the situation, watching as Carlos’ eyebrows furrow in worry as he processes the story. When TK finishes, Carlos smirks a little before speaking up. “I thought you making the transition to being a paramedic was supposed to be less dangerous.”
“It’s not my fault they needed a medic up there, and I have more experience on the ladder than Tommy or Nancy.”
“Clearly,” Carlos stifles a laugh, gesturing to TK’s ankle while the other man gently swats him. Leaning down, Carlos removes the ice pack to further inspect the swollen joint. “TK, this ice pack isn’t very cold.”
“Yeah, I’ve been here a while,” he shrugs.
Carlos presses his lips together, before getting up, ice pack in hand, and making his way over to the reception desk. TK watches as the other man exchanges a few words with the nurse sitting at the desk. After their brief exchange, Carlos returns with a fresh ice pack which he places gently on TK’s ankle.
“The nurse says they should be calling you back next,” he says with a smile.
“Thank you,” TK says softly, returning the smile.
True to his word, just a few minutes later his name is called and Carlos is helping him transition into a wheelchair to be wheeled back to an exam room. 
After being poked and prodded, and an x-ray just to confirm it’s nothing more major, the doctor verifies Tommy’s initial diagnosis that it’s just a bad sprain. He’s given a sturdy black brace, a pair of silver crutches, and strict instructions to take the next few weeks off work.
That last note causes a pout to settle on TK’s face as the doctor exits the exam room. 
“Hey,” Carlos catches his attention, rest his hand on top of TK’s own. “It’ll be fine. Tommy will understand.”
“I’ve barely been on the job for a week, and I already have to call out. Not a great reflection.”
“Well she’s been working out your house for a few months, so I think she knows to expect that her newest paramedic is also a danger magnet,” Carlos chuckles.
“Yeah, I guess,” TK sighs.
Carlos gently runs his hand through TK’s hair, knowing that it calms the other man down. “You ready to get out of here?”
TK nods. “Can you just drop me off back at the station?”
“I thought I would just take you home. You should probably rest and ice your ankle a little more.”
“There’s ice at the station,” TK says with a mischievous grin, only to be met with Carlos’ unwavering expression. “I just would rather be around the team that sitting at home alone while you finish your shift.”
“TK, my shift ended 30 minutes ago.”
“Shit, Carlos,” he looks up meeting the other man's eye. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for you to get pulled away for this long. I hope you don’t get into trouble.” “It’s fine, I told my captain what was going on after you called and she let me go. I wasn’t planning on going back anyway.”
TK smiles, wondering how he got so lucky to have a boyfriend this caring that he really would drop everything to spend a few long hours in the emergency room with him. 
“Now, why don’t we get out of here, yeah?”
He nods eagerly, letting Carlos help him off the bed and graciously accepting the crutches the other man hands to him. “Thank you,” he whispers to Carlos with a smile, before making their way out of the hospital.
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imo-chan-imagines · 4 years ago
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『 As your boyfriend | BNHA Headcanons 』
From the good, to the bad, to the downright adorable.
Characters: female!reader, Aizawa Shouta
Tags/warnings: Boku No Hero Academia (anime), 18+, explicit descriptions of sex, smut, fluff, soft dom Aizawa, relationship, headcanons
⚠️ 18+ CONTENT! MINORS: PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT ⚠️
A/N: Right, so I'm simping for this man biG TIME, but I'm only on season 3, so no spoilers or anything, please. This is my first BNHA post (and it turned out way longer than I was intending 😅) Please let me know if you want more in the future!
Also, I have a repetitive strain injury, so typing stuff is taking a while at the moment. Sorry about that. Thanks for reading! Please enjoy ♡ ~Imo
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☆ Aizawa Shouta ☆
I'm not going to lie. Shouta can be a big ol' grouchy pants sometimes, and it's basically impossible to win an argument against him makes you want to tear your hair out, sometimes
But most of the time, he's just tired and in pain, and he doesn't mean to be so crotchety
He's not the type to make excuses, though. That's childish. He means his apologies, even if they're simple
He'll normally initiate an apology by gently wrapping his arms around you from behind and resting his forehead on your shoulder 🥺
Physical contact is incredibly personal and intimate for him. He doesn't just touch anyone, or allow them to touch him
You're special 💞💫
Soft, gentle touches, like his fingers interlacing with yours, or his leg brushing up against you, are basically his way of saying 'I love you'
Catch me crying in the corner, a'ight? 😔
He rarely ever raises his voice. Like, ever he doesn't need to, and is aware that it can be scary
He's definitely the kind of guy to forget to tell people that you're dating, simply because he doesn't see how it's relevant or anyone else's business 🤦‍♀️
I mean, he ain't wrong, but–
And his mood switches between 'antisocial' and 'clingy' like a mechanical metronome did someone say 'cat'?
Sometimes, you'll be lucky if he speaks more than three words to you together in a whole day nothing personal 🤷‍♀️
But on other days, he literally won't let you out of his arms for the world he's complicated, okay?
You have missed many a parcel delivery because he wouldn't let you get up from his lap to answer the door 🙄😂
Boundaries and responsibilities are key and highly respected by Shouta, and he would NEVER erase your quirk without your permission, unless he literally had no other choice like someone's going to get hurt, or something
Is generally quite serious so what's new? but you're one of the few people he can relax around when he feels like it
9/10 of his jokes are dad jokes 😎 hell yeah
Takes a hard stance in financial debates, but is constantly broke af 😶 says he'll buy you dinner and presents you with some instant noodles with a 'Reduced To Clear' sticker on them
Will take a bite of your food/steal some off your plate without asking, and literally say nothing to defend himself #gremlin
Is incredibly shy and uncomfortable about being ~le horny~ until you've been together for literally forever
Even then, he's still shy about it when he has to bring it up and it's pretty cute, let me tell ya
It took him forever to admit to you that he gets turned on when you eat ice lollies
Guess what you do whenever you want to mess with him like a little brat 😛
But if he's in the mood, he will 100% whisper something dirty in your ear, even if you're completely alone and probably well past third base
He does it because he knows your pussy will clamp around him at the sound of his voice 😳🥵
*fans self profusely*
Genuine, unadulterated smiles are rare with Aizawa, but when he does 🙌 Heaven hath opened its gates and allowed an angel walk amongst mere mortals 🥺🤧
If he lays his head on your chest, he will fall asleep like that *snaps fingers*
Surprise nose and forehead kisses to show he loves you ❤
Calls you 'Kitten' this is basically already canon at this point
And he's all about those deep talks with you at 3 am when he can't sleep
Speaking of insomnia!
It's cheesy, but you're like a soothing balm. The warmth of your body makes him feel safe, your touch helps him relax, and your voice soothes him to sleep
He's never slept as well as when you're beside him 😭🤧
When cuddling, he likes to be the big spoon but will accept being the little spoon if you if you press your boobs against his back and ask really nicely 🤭
And he loves you stroking his hair and running your fingers through it 🥺
Netlix nights and pillow/blanket forts!!
Rainy days are a godsend. Staying inside all day under the blankets, with the soft sound of the rain falling outside and no-one to interrupt you – literal paradise
He makes mean hot cocoas and Irish coffees 😋 I feel like this man lives off Irish coffees 😂🤣
Wears a lot of black and grey sweatpants at home 😗 which highlight the outline of his dick just right, if ya know what I'm sayin' 👀
Doesn't like going out for dates and prefers staying inside and doing stuff together same, honeyy
But if you really like going out, he will somewhat begrudgingly agree to it and get all dressed up for you, just so long as he gets his fair share of home-dates, too 🤗
But if you also don't like going out... the two of you will basically never leave the house, except to get groceries in your pyjamas from the 24-hour convenience store down the road at one in the morning oddly specific, I know, but you get me
And sorry, but I don't make the rules
Well, actually, I do. But shush
We all know that Shouta cleans up *chef's kiss* So when you go somewhere ~fancy~ he always looks so damn fine 😩
But he has very little idea that he's hot he sees himself as a tired, walking dumpster fire🚶‍♂️🔥
Shouta will 100% turn into a crazy cat dude with 15+ cats if you don't stop him I never said you should, though 🙃
And is a 'minimalist texter' – basically, if he can't answer a text with 'yes', 'no,' 'maybe', or 'OK', then he probably won't answer it at all 😭😂
Especially if you try and sext him or send him your nudes while he's at work. He'll probably lecture you when he gets home and depending on just how much you turned him on, he might proceed to teach you a lesson...
But wear his shirt, and just his shirt or his hoodie and he's yours
Heart eyes, motherfucker 😍
And, depending on how you two are feeling that day, you may or may not end up getting dicked down on the nearest semi-flat surface right then and there 👀
But don't misunderstand. This is an incredibly tired man you have here, and his libido actually isn't through the roof sorry, ladies so this kind of thing isn't an everyday occurrence
But when he dicks you down, he dicks you down goooood
Shouta's not big on PDA, but makes up for it in private. We're talking hands and kisses all over your body he leaves nothing unloved 😏
And while he's not big on PDA, he is big on sneaky displays of affection or 'SDA', as I like to call it
Like subtly grabbing your butt for a second, or his hand on your thigh under the table at a dinner etc. especially around other people
But what really gets him going is slowly removing your clothes and taking you fully naked, spreading your legs wide and holding them open he likes the view 😍
He lowkey highkey worships your body 🙏 and will literally not shut up about how fucking pretty you are, and how fucking good it feels inside you his words, not mine 😳
Groans and growls a little when he's getting close/cumming especially when he's being a little rough and likes to cum together, but knows it's not always practical
He tends to be a gentle dom, but can get just a teensy bit 🤏 rough if he's too into it – but nothing outrageous
We're talking rough thrusts and a brutal pace, maybe holding onto you a little too hard and, waaahh, he gets so embarrassed if he leaves bruises
Is also into a little bondage, but again, only light stuff – restraining your wrists with his hands or his tie or his Capturing Weapon 👀 maybe blinding-folding you if you're okay with it
If you're not blindfolded, then I'm afraid he's all about that eye contact
Eating out your pussy? Eye contact. Pounding you into the mattress? Blazing eye contact. Rearranging your guts in front of the mirror? Fucking eye contact
And CONSENT, BABY. THAT'S WHAT HE'S FUCKING INTO 😌🙌💞
But all jokes aside – he's too used to taking without consent with his quirk, that he's kind of paranoid about it comes to sex but it's adorable and sweet, and honestly, still kind of hot
And speaking of eating pussy – goddamn does he like to please you. Like cream to a kitty 😛
Oh, and he just loves it when you suck on his fingers as he's pounding into you 🤤
And he likes to leave love bites in personal, inconspicuous places and sometimes on your neck
He's marking his woman 😌
When he gets suuuper horny, he likes to fuck you from behind, standing upright in front of the mirror. It's a specific kink he has of watching himself stretch you out as the length of his cock disappears inside you...
I can get behind that, lemme tell yaaa
I said he tends to be dominant, but female doms – fear not!
Shouta is quite flexible when it comes down to it and is kind of lazy, lmfao so he definitely has time for laying back, having the control taken away, and having his dick ridden
For him, it's really all about communication and what you're both comfortable with
I will say this, though: sometimes, his cat watches you while you're banging 😅😂
The first time it happened, you freaked out and refused to continue because – how could you??? But eventually, you just kind of got used to it 🤷‍♀️
The same way you've got used to it following you to the bathroom every time you go to take a shit 😭
So now, you just kind of laugh about it, which helps keep things a little lighter 🤗
After sex, he does like to snuggle, but you'll be lucky if he stays awake for more than 30 seconds it's one of the few times he actually can sleep well
If you're ever out and about, or even inside, and cold, he'll wrap you up in his clothes/scarf/blanket like a sushi roll like Eren wrapping up Mikasa in his scarf, all deadpan and everything 😐
It's not that often, but when he gets drunk, he gets all soft and emotional, and starts babbling about how he can't believe he got so lucky to be dating you, and that he's sure he hasn't done anything to deserve it mah heart
He's pretty sure he wants kids, but he doesn't feel like now is the right time, and is lowkey afraid that it's never going to feel like the right time
He also constantly doubts himself, wondering if he'd actually able to look after them and protect them the way a father should class 1-A got him second-guessing himself 🥺
Besides, it's not all about him. You clearly have a say in it too, and he doesn't want to force you into anything
Again: communication and comfort zones
Dating Aizawa definitely has its ups and downs, and it's not smooth sailing, but he's prepared to work for a life with you because he's found a connection with you that he hasn't feel with anyone else
He knows that you're both far from perfect, but hopes that, for once, you might just make something good, and make it last 🥰😇
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© imo-chan-imagines 2020
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theresnosinlondon · 3 years ago
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Don’t Do It For Me - h.s. (part 2)
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The one where Harry’s still kind of a friend and more complications occur. (2.4k)
Quite a short part 2. Anyone want part 3? xx
Part 1
The Green Leaf café at 8:30 am tomorrow? x
I wasn’t sure if I was expecting his text or not. The half plan was made before we were drunk and before the mess that ensued later that evening.
I remembered everything, which, sure, reminded me to sort out a plan B pill because the last thing I needed to happen was to get pregnant from a drunken hook up with a famous friend who was in a relationship with someone else, but it also drove me to give useless, mean glares to the spot on my couch we were perched on for a short few minutes.
As bitter as it made me, I had to face the fact that yes, I was a single woman who was technically free to hook up with whoever I pleased, but I, nonetheless, participated in cheating on Jess. I didn’t know how Harry felt after he left, as there has been radio silence between us, until he texted me Sunday evening, confirming the plans for the next morning.
See you then.
I wanted for him to get the hint that we needed to talk about it.
——
Unexpectedly, Harry arrived at the cafe first. He was usually the one that showed up at least ten minutes late to any kind of gathering.
I pushed the door open and made my way to the table he usually occupied whenever he visited the little cafe. Setting my handbag on the circular table, I made eye contact with him and, noting the absence of any kind of beverage, I spoke up. “The usual?”
His eyes held my gaze for a few, long seconds, an unreadable expression on his face. “I’ve ordered for us already, they’ll bring our drinks to the table.”
Harry’s voice was as monotone as his expression. I pulled back the chair across from his and took a seat, sliding my phone in my bag and hanging it on the back of my chair.
Heaving a sigh I addressed him. “Thanks.” I nodded, keeping my gaze on the table.
“How are you?” He leaned his elbows on the wooden surface and linked his hands, thumbs rolling the rings on his knuckles. “I’m sorry I haven’t reached out.”
“I think we should cut the chit chat off. You’ve had two days to sit on it, so what are you thinking now?” My patience was wearing thin and the meaningless small talk was not getting us anywhere.
He pursed his lips, bringing his stare to mine and mulling over his answer. “I honestly don’t know.” He rubbed a and down his face. “Jess came back last night, asked to have dinner, but I couldn’t even think about looking her in the eyes, knowing what I’ve done.”
“What we have done.” I corrected him. “As much as I regret what happened, we were both consensual. But what I want to know is what are you going to do now. Are you going to tell her?”
Harry’s eyes widened and he bit his bottom lip. “I should..” his voice trailed off as if he just started thinking about the repercussions of our actions. “Are you on birth control?”
“No, but I've sorted myself out, don't worry.” Took him long enough to remember we had unprotected sex.
“I’m so sorry, I should've asked you sooner.” His furrowed brows and guilty expression didn't faze me, I was looking after myself and my future. I was not ready for a messy pregnancy. “And I promise, I'm clean.”
“Yeah, same.” I gave him a tight smile. “So, are you going to tell Jess?”
He groaned, closing his eyes and massaging his temple as if a headache was soon to take over his head.
I knew I was being a hypocrite, going against everything I’ve been preaching for the longest time, but seeing the anguish on his face and realising that it might’ve really just been a fluke in his judgment, I gave the advice I never thought I would.
“Maybe you shouldn’t.”
The look of surprise would’ve been entertaining and made me laugh, hadn’t the situation been a complete shit show. “What?”
“Do you still want to be with her? Do you genuinely regret what happened? Do you love her?” I fired off the relevant questions.
“I mean..” His voice sounded unsure, so I gave him a stern look, encouraging him to snap out of it. “I..”
“Harry, for fuck’s sake!” I leaned in, trying to keep my voice down. “I'm trying to help you out here!”
“I know, I just.. I don't know.” His timid voice said.
I blinked at him, completely bewildered by his sudden reluctance. “Have you guys been having issues?”.
“No, but we've been together less than a year and it feels like we're stuck in the same routine. I don't see us moving much forward with it, to be completely honest.” Harry huffed as if a weight has been lifted off his chest. “I don't think I see a future with Jess.”
“So, you're essentially wasting both of your time?” I couldn't help but frown at him. One of the qualities I've picked up about Harry’s personality is that he would never settle to do something he didn't want to - in his personal life, at least.
“What if I'm just not meant to be in a relationship?” His gaze stayed glued to the table.
“What now?”
“I mean, I've always thought of myself as a relationship type of person. But what if I'm just not?” His eyes connected with mine with a certain intensity that left me confused. “Here I am, with a perfectly fine relationship and at the first opportunity, I go and sleep with someone else.”
I knew I shouldn't have taken it personally. Someone else. He didn't mean it in a dismissive, impersonal way, but it still stung. So I took a deep breath, glanced at the ceiling and thanked the waiter who brought our coffees to the table.
“That sounds like a dilemma you'll have to sort on your own, mate.” Was the best thing I could think to say.
His dejected look made me rethink my statement.
“Look, I honestly thought you were happy with Jess. You get along and seem to have a very effortless relationship. You saying what you said just really surprised me.” I reached out and held my forgotten iced coffee. “Don’t blame your relationship for what happened. I guess we just chose to be two complete assholes that night.”
Harry’s chuckle made me smile. “Do you think I should tell her?”
“No.”
His raised eyebrows prompted me to continue.
“Usually, my first reaction would be to bully you into telling her, but if you're going to stay with her and see where the relationship is going, then I guess we can keep this between us and forget about it.”
His mouth pursed, his own hands stretched and engulfed his espresso with one hand, bringing it closer but made no move to take a sip. “Do you think I should stay with her?”
I didn't want to read too much into his question, but I couldn't help and wonder where all these doubts about his relationship came from. “She’s really nice, you'd be stupid to let her go.” I meant it wholeheartedly. “Now, I have to get going ‘cause I haven't started packing yet and I have to leave for the airport in a few hours.”
His hand shot out and held my wrist when I moved to stand, successfully keeping me in place, still sat across from him. His lips were pursed, eyebrows pinched and fingers warm on my skin. “Do you mind if I tag along? I can offer my excellent packing services.”
“I have literally witnessed you throw your belongings in a duffle bag one hour before your scheduled flight.” I managed to recover from his mood swings just enough to give the cheeky answer. “Plus, I think you should go and spend some time with Jess.”
He sighed as if done with the conversation. “She’s at work right now, I'll speak to her later tonight.” He downed his espresso and stood. “C’mon, let's go.”
——
My bedroom’s small chandelier was very dusty. Like, that kind of layer of dust that would probably fly everywhere if hit by a gust of wind. I needed to spring clean after coming back from visiting my family. I had to remember to pack the present I got for my nephews birthday on Saturday. That, and the mango flavoured candle to add to my mum’s collection.
My thoughts were interrupted by a kiss placed on my bare shoulder. My bare shoulder, connected to the rest of my naked body, only covered by my duvet. The duvet that was also covering Harry’s lower half. Harry’s naked lower half.
I was stupid. So, so, so stupid. But I was also only human and he was very cheeky, but also very physically close and one too many touches to my arm, my lower back, a stroke to his bicep, his chest. Suddenly we were in my bed.
At least we remembered to use a condom this time.
“Hey,” he whispered against my skin, followed by yet another peck. “We should finish packing.”
I let out of a breath I didn't realise I was holding, bit my lip and closed my eyes, holding the duvet to my chest. “Yes.”
“Do you regret it?”
“Of course I regret it, H. I've been cheated on before, it's not a great feeling. My morals are kicking my ass right about now.” Turning away from him, I sat at the edge of the mattress and reached for some clothes, slipping them on. I kept my back to him and heard him huff out a breath.
“I’m breaking up with her when I see her tonight.”
When I turned my head towards him, he was lying flat on his back, lower half still haphazardly covered by my duvet, eyes fixated on the ceiling - probably noticing the dust on the tiny chandelier.
“What?” I hooked one leg on the mattress to face him better. “Why?”
The guilt I felt before has tripled in size and I couldn’t help the feeling of dread at having aided him in making the decision.
“I thought about it on my way home after your birthday, then I was almost certain after our talk at the cafe. Now it’s just obvious. I can’t stay in a relationship after having cheated on her twice.” His tone was calm but his face was pensive.”It’s not fair to her.”
“I get it.” I felt selfish for asking, but I had to know if I had to steer clear of Jess for the foreseeable future. “Are you going to tell her the truth?”
“Some of it.” My eyes widened in fear, but then relaxed when he continued talking. “I’ll tell her how I don’t see it working, and that I want to concentrate on my work more for now.”
“That’s such a bullshit reason and you know it. You don’t have to be single to concentrate on work.”
“It’s all I could come up with.” He shrugged as if coming up with another reason why he wants to break up with his girlfriend didn’t matter to him. “At least we wouldn’t feel guilty doing this anymore.”
That got my attention. I frowned, hoping I understood him wrong. “Huh?”
“Well, I quite enjoy this thing between us.” He peered at me, taking in my unamused expression. “Don’t you?”
My thoughts were officially jumbled and I struggled to wrap my head around the fact that he’s including me in the reasons why he wants to break up with Jess.
“At the risk of sounding self-centred,” I made sure we were making strong eye contact, for him to understand how serious I was being. “Don’t do it for me.”
A moment of silence stretched between us, eyes still locked and his eyebrows raised slightly.
“At the risk of sounding like a dick,” he started. “I’m genuinely not.”
I blinked, kind of relieved. “Right.” I nodded. It was sort of presumptuous to think he would end a relationship for me.
“I meant what I said. Jess and I had a good time, but it never turned serious. I never met her family and she only met Gemma because she lives in London and I see her often.” He raised one shoulder in half a shrug. “I miss that specific type of connection with her.”
“Your timing is shit.” I chuckled. “Could’ve realised all of that before cheating on her.”
I stood up and headed to my closet, picking up clothes I wanted to pack. And carefully organised them in the suitcase, conscious of the time ticking by way too fast.
“Are you hungry?” Harry’s voice popped up, completely ignoring my last comment. His eyes were focused on his phone. “I can order some lunch?”
Glancing at the clock, I mentally sectioned off the time I needed to get to the airport, check-in my luggage, go through security, with ample time to browse the duty-free section. “Yeah, food would be great, thanks.”
“Food would be great.” He snickered, mocking me. “I always forget that English isn't your first language.”
“I didn’t say anything wrong.” I frowned at him - I took jabs at my knowledge of the English language very seriously. “Did I?”
He chuckled and shook his head at me. “You’re cute.” He really didn’t have to be so flirty. “Fancy a poke bowl? Salmon?”
“Ooh, yes, please!”
——
“Right, thanks for the coffee, lunch and the lack of help packing.” I flashed Harry a sarcastic smile as we stood by the door of my house, my Uber being three minutes away.
“Anytime.” He chuckled. “Have a great time with your family and send me pictures that will make me jealous. I’ll see you when you’re back, I guess.”
“Thank you, will do and yes.” I stepped towards him and wrapped my arms around his middle, him hugging my shoulders and placing a kiss on the top of my head. “Take care of yourself, please.”
We broke the hug as the Toyota Prius pulled up on the curb. Blocking my view of the car, Harry stepped in front of me, taking a step forward, he cornered me against my front door. I looked at him, confused until he leaned into me and pecked my parted lips. A quick, but strong kiss that left me bewildered, but regretfully wanting more as well.
I bit my lip and rolled my eyes at his cheeky smile. The bastard knew what he was doing.
I walked past him, suitcase in tow and with a quick goodbye to Harry, I boarded the Uber.
Part 3
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dinopopduck · 3 years ago
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Ezekiel Only Being Unaffected By Certain Kinds of Magic
Let’s just start with me saying this isn’t exactly a new theory. It’s the demigod thing, and it’s a fairly popular one. If you haven’t heard of this headcannon, I put as much as I can find here. If you have, I found a bunch of new stuff that I haven’t seen anyone else mention, so reading this isn’t a complete waste of your time, I hope.
I tried to keep this from becoming wordy, but it got really long anyway, because there was a lot to talk about here.
Ezekiel being unaffected by magic is sort of an ongoing thing in the show. He is influenced by it much of the time, such as by Santa’s Hat, Pan’s Flute, Prospero’s spell, lycanthropy, etc. When it comes to the stuff he was seemingly completely immune to, there is one link that connects them all.
Apple of Discord: Everybody knows this one. The Apple is a Greek artifact, meant to turn you into the worst version of yourself, and Ezekiel was only one completely unaffected. It’s blamed on “he’s already the worst version of himself” or whatever.
Zeus Lightning Bolt: the episode where Ezekiel ends up decked out in Greek armor, and is sent to pick up Zeus’ Lightning Bolt, which was freaking out and zapping everywhere. He picks it up just fine, and he’s then able to hand it off to Flynn. It may have been purely because of the Greek armor he was wearing, but Flynn did not seem so sure about that working.
Cindy’s Love Potion: Ezekiel is able to be near the potion without becoming obsessed with Cindy. At first, it’s blamed on him being obsessed with himself, then later Jacob tells Ezekiel that he was already in love with Cindy. It was an obsession, not a love, potion you literally spent the episode proving that blah blah, he didn’t even recognize her at first blah blah, anyway, I have a better reason.
There are two Greek mentions in this episode. First, the potion project itself is called Project Aphrodite, a Greek goddess. Second, the sunflowers; when asked, Jenkins mentions how sunflowers are a Greek symbol of unrequited love. In addition, “love” potions may have originated in Greece, or at the very least, were common enough to have multiple sites claim that, lol. At the end of the season, where each librarian uses their gifts to turn Apep mortal, this greek potion is what Ezekiel ends up using.
See a pattern here? Everything that he was completely unaffected by was Greek in some way. So, he has an immunity to these kinds of artifacts, but why? I vote demigod.
Anyway, moving on.
Here’s some magic he could have been immune to, or could not have been. Its pretty debatable.
Fortuna: Technically a Roman Goddess, but the show does acknowledge how similar they are to Greek Gods. He may have been affected by the spell, but broke out of it pretty quick. Some think he may not been affected at all; slot machines aren’t exactly fair, especially in a casino that exists to cheat completely. As for Ezekiel getting so upset over losing, what he says, “Not the guy that loses, I’m the guy that wins” sounds very similar to what he was saying in Point of Salvation, but that’s a whole nother topic.
Alternately, he was affected and this point shouldn’t be here. I don’t know, I’m not the writers.
Libris Fabula: He was a little bit affected, just far less than the others, as he acted pretty much the same. He did get a barely noticeable clothing change, became luckier than normal, and was just able to cast a spell for some reason? Speaking out that spell, it froze the guy, and a certain Greek God does have the ability to put people to sleep. Not really the same thing, but worth thinking about. Maybe. More on that later.
Most people think he was immune, but he could have just been similar enough to the character he was portraying that he didn’t need to change a whole lot.
These ones are barely worth mentioning, because have other reasonable (though I guess your definition of reasonable may be different from mine) explanations, but you could see them as magic immunity as well:
Silver Screen: Ezekiel gets into character the least, while Cassandra and Jacob are out singing and calling people by their character names. Maybe less affected, maybe just a spoilsport. Probably the last one.
Point of Salvation: Was the only one able to remember previous loops. Since they were in a video game, it’s explained that since he was the first through the door, he became the player while everyone else became NPCs. I mean, sure.
Christmas Thief: Saint of Thieves only used his truth telly power on Ezekiel’s mother, not him. Ezekiel did not feel obligated to say anything. Could just be that the guy wasn’t talking to Ezekiel. Or, earlier in that episode Ezekiel tells his mother he doesn’t steal anymore (at least for anything other than the Library, I assume, cause he still kinda does) and therefor that made him immune to the spell, since it only works on thieves.
Image of an Image: Both Cassandra and Ezekiel got their pictures taken, and Cassandra was the only one affected by the transfer spell. However, Ezekiel wasn’t one of the “chosen ones” because he snuck in, and jumped in front of the camera while Eve (one of the “chosen ones”, who was later able to be affected) turned away. Either that, or he just didn’t have time to feel the effect, since his picture was taken after Cassandra’s, and Eve’s was placed in manually.
That’s all the possible instances of magic immunity I could think of.
Next, we have some other stuff that is relevant to this point, but wasn’t necessarily artifact/magic immunity.
Prophecy Cube: Created by the Oracle of Delphi, who is from Greek mythology. This isn’t about whether Ezekiel was affected by something, as he was still able to use the prophecy glass/get stuck in the cube. Rather, it’s about the Zeus Challenge in the cube. They probably would have died in there, but luckily, Ezekiel had just happened to steal, and keep on him, the exact thing they needed to get through– a bunch of golden coins, and a prophecy that ensures at least one coin can’t be destroyed. Luck? Prophecy? Divine Intervention? Plot convenience? Okay its probably the last one but STILL
Also, Ezekiel getting pissed at Zeus.
Zeus’s Bolt (again?): There is a promo image I think for season 4? that has each of the Librarians holding their tools. Jacob had his axe, Cassandra had a notebook, Flynn had Excalibur, all normal, except for Eve and Ezekiel. Eve had this big staff thing I didn’t recognize, and Ezekiel had Zeus’ Bolt for some reason?
Lightning, just, in general: If there is wild electricity in an episode, Ezekiel is probably around.
Examples:
City of Light: Gets shocked and knocked backwards into Jacob by a very electrified fence, gets up right afterwards and is fine.
Broken Staff: The Zeus Bolt thing, you get it.
Image of an Image: Ezekiel electrocutes Jacob. Jacob was not really fine. He lived, though.
Point of Salvation: Ezekiel electrocutes Jacob part 2 Electric Boogaloo, but this time on purpose. He was not fine. He died. But don’t worry, he lived.
Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: Mentioned a little bit above, Ezekiel, Jacob, and a student get stuck in the Zeus Challenge, and Ezekiel uses some coins he just so happened to steal recently. Throwing them on tiles shows whether or not lightning will strike if it was stepped on. Seriously, why is it ALWAYS Jacob?
The Dark Secret: Ezekiel is the one sent to wrap a cord around a lightning rod constantly being struck by lighting. “Why am I bloody doing this”, he asks? I mean, Zeus probably isn’t going to kill his descendent(?), right?
Werewolves: Have you heard of the Lycaon of Arcadia? It’s a Greek myth. Basically, this dude named Lycaon wants to test how smart and all-knowing Zeus is. To do so, he kills his own son, cooks him, and serves him to Zeus to see if he notices, ya know, no biggie. Zeus was like “wtf man” and brings the son back to life, and turns Lycaon into, you guessed it, a wolf. So, Zeus creates a werewolf of sorts, maybe one of the firsts. In Fangs of Death, Ezekiel just so happens to be the one (main) character to be turned into werewolf. So, if he was a descendant of Zeus, imagine how big of a “fuck you” that was to the god. That all being said, Ezekiel was turned by an Egyptian god, so that might not have been intentional. Also, they may have just been avoiding turning Jacob, because there is already a werewolf named Jacob and they didn't want another Twilight reference in that episode.
Family/Name: Ezekiel is adopted, and his adoptive mother mentions how she took him in off the streets. Because of that, we don’t know who his birth parents are, and whether or not he, or anyone else, knows is unknown. Soooo, we can take some creative liberties as to who his parents might have been.
As for his name, it carries some religious connotations. It should be remembered though, the meanings I’m talking about here are Biblical, not Greek, so again, might mean nothing for this argument. “Ezekiel” is “God’s Strength” or “God will Strengthen”. Jones might also be something like “God is gracious” or “God has favored”, thought different sites say different things. However, I’m pretty sure the name Jones came from his adoptive mother, and apparently Jones is a common last name in Australia. His first name is more relevant, because all of his siblings have themed names; Mercy, Charity, and Honor. So, either his mom named him differently because she knew something we don’t, or he already had the name before she adopted him. Either way, this probably means absolutely nothing. But what are we here for? To analyze a dead show like an English teacher analyzes the color of curtains in an 100 year old text. If it wasn’t for all the other stuff, I probably wouldn’t think about this too much.
Okay. So Greek stuff, lightning, and Zeus himself come up a LOT when it comes to this guy. So is Ezekiel the son of Zeus? Possibly, but a more popular theory is that he’s Zeus’ grandson. Because Zeus’ son just so happens to be Hermes; god of things such as luck, travel, money, trade, and most importantly, thieves. Oh, and animal husbandry/shepherds and sleep, I don’t know how much those apply but I will try.
Time for some comparisons, honestly most of these don’t even need to be explained so I’ll keep it short-ish, cause this shit has gotten way too long already.
Luck: Ezekiel, especially in the first season, likes to rely on luck, and tends to be very lucky in general. Examples where this is mentioned include Fables of Doom and Apple of Discord. “Smarter to be lucky then lucky to be smart!”
Travel: We can assume that he ended up traveling in his previous job (that being heists all over the world) fairly often, even before the Library. Becoming a Librarian with a teleporting door increased that of course.
Money: Steals very high-value items to sell. Also apparently likes to take money from his coworker’s wallets. And probably everyone else’s.
Trade: The aforementioned high-value pieces he steals are traded/sold for money. In Christmas Thief, we find out he kept none of the money or items, giving it away to others who needed it. That kinda fits this category, I think.
Thieves: I really don’t need to explain this. Unless you haven’t seen the show.
Animal Husbandry/Shepherds?: Basically the care of animals. Um, well he doesn’t keep cows or anything, but he has a tendency to “adopt” magical creatures that need help. Stumpy, Nessie Jr., maybe Frankenstein’s Monster as well?
Sleep: I mentioned earlier how Ezekiel froze a guy (not really in an icy way, just couldn’t move) by hitting him with his coin. Hermes is able to send people to sleep with his Caduceus (the snake wand thing). Yeah, it’s not really the same thing, though you could consider being frozen a kind of sleep. He could have just been lucky enough to find a magical coin, and lucky enough to figure out how to use it at the exact right time without even knowing what it did. It’s a stretch either way, really, and was never explained in the episode at all. Yeah, I can't find anything else that fits.
Hermes is considered to be a thief and trickster, and a lot of the things he is god of are Ezekiel’s main occupations. With all those similarities to Hermes, frequent events related to lightning and Zeus related things, and immunity to Greek artifacts, we can conclude that he is perhaps the son of Hermes, taking after his father in abilities and getting visits from grandpa.
Alternatively, his somehow IS Hermes, but I doubt that. He’d probably be way more powerful. He was also able to see the future with Prophecy Glass, which Jenkins claims is impossible for immortals to do (although in that case he was talking about a Prophecy Cube, but close enough). It’s more likely that he is a demigod.
Okay, that is all I can think of that is relevant. I binged the series about two months ago, and have been thinking about this theory. I went ahead and re-watched the episodes that I mentioned in more detail, as well as parts of others that I remebered. The reason I bring this up is because I may have missed things. I did not rewatch a majority of the episodes, more that I looked at a list of episodes on wikipedia and tried to remember what happened in them, watching clips and episodes if I needed to.
The show was cancelled, so we’ll probably never get a confirmation as to who Ezekiels’ birth parents were, and as such, you can’t prove me wrong! That being said, if I got any facts incorrect in this, please tell me so I can fix it. I’m not well versed on Greek Mythology, in fact I know basically nothing, and did the research as I went along. So again, there could be more. This is just what I found in like, less than a day of searching.
Join me next time on “How is Cassandra magical, where’d she get it from? Also, were we ever gonna meet her parents?” And “In the first episode of season 3, Jacob is just able to hit a heavy punching bag of its chain, across the room, at bullet speed, just because of a shift of his wrist, and later in that episode do the same thing to Apep, and it’s just…never addressed or spoken about again? Like wtf man?”
I'm probably not doing that
If you managed to get through all of this, thank you, and I hope this wasn’t too painful to read.
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ahgasecaratfromn-city · 4 years ago
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Ten Things I Hate About You
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Pairing: Mark Lee x Reader ft. Haechan, Johnny and mention of Jeno
Words: 7.7k
Genre: Fluff, the tiniest bit of angst if you squint, college au
Warning: Tiniest bit of cursing, kissing, family issues, anxiety attack
Summary: You never had the luxury of selecting who you were going to tutor, so when you paired with the only person you disliked, Lee Mark, you couldn’t help but formulate a list of the ten things you hated about him.
A/N: Okay so, I will admit this is longer than I anticipated, my bad. Mark has been stuck in my head and this was my way of getting him out. Basically, each part is a snip bit/ scene from the day named in bold.  *This is very very very minimally edited 
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“Who the hell is that?” was not the most flattering thing someone could say when being given a free tutor. Hell, it wasn’t a flattering thing to say under any circumstance. Yet, there you were, walking slowly towards your literature class’s resident idiot, Mark.
“Me, I’m Y/N,” he looked you up and down, frowning slightly before looking back at the professor. The boy seemed to always believe that his opinions mattered to anyone but himself. He was always screaming his misconstrued thoughts during class or more likely not showing up at all, and everything about him seemed to piss you off.
Maybe it was the way he spoke to people, always assuming he was in the right. Or, maybe it was the fact that he spoke period, always rambling about absolutely nothing while the class was engaged in relevant and important conversation. More likely, it was the permanent grin etched on his face, as if nothing could touch him, not even the failing grade he was receiving in this class.
“Mark, this is quite literally your last shot because there is seriously nothing else I can do for you,” you tuned out the rest of the conversation, only raising an eyebrow once you heard that Mark wouldn’t be able to pass without a certain score on the final.
“And you really should thank Y/N, there are other students she could be helping,” your eyes shot up at the mention of your name, blushing lightly as the men looked at you.
It wasn’t as if you had volunteered to tutor Mark specifically. You had been tutoring since high school and figured it was the perfect work-study job to take up. Except you didn’t choose who to tutor, only which subjects. Unfortunately, literature happened to be one of them, and Mark happened to suck at it.
“Now, both of you get out of here,” he pointed to the doorway with a slight smirk on his face as Mark trudged away clearly annoyed.
“We can work Monday, Wednesday, and Friday until the test. We can meet up at the library,” you offered, following after the boy who seemed to only quicken his pace. Jerk.
“Not Friday, that’s a busy day,” he shrugged, looking at everything but you. 
“The test is three weeks from today and judging by your, uhm previous scores, you need all the time you can get,” the boy whipped around at that statement, raising his brow at you. You didn’t understand why he seemed so shocked, you were only telling the truth.
“Fine, catch you later,” His eyes were looking behind you, focused on something else before he finally walked away from you. 
That was another thing that bothered you, he never made eye contact. It was like no one was worth the time of day to him. 
“What are you looking at,” A familiar arm snaked its way around your shoulders, pulling you into his chest as you prepared to go home. You smelled the familiar scent of aftershave and light cologne that immediately brought a smile to your face.
“You’ll never guess who I have to tutor,” you looked up at your best friend, Haechan, grinning at his confused face. Haechan had been your best friend since you were kids in the sandbox and since then, wherever he was you were likely right beside him.
“Let’s go eat, and you can tell me all about it,” He spun you around, walking you towards the exit.
-
“Maybe you’re being too hard on him,” the boy suggested, playing with his food before taking a bite. That was his habit whenever you ate together, he would mull over his food as if building a masterpiece before devouring an entire plate in a few bites.
“What do you mean?” You furrowed your brows at the statement. 
“I mean, I dunno, maybe don’t judge a book by its cover and stuff,” A slight blush rose to his cheeks as he realized how cringey what he had said was. His eyes met yours for a split second before you both let out a few synchronized chuckles.
“That was so bad, Chan,” you reached over to poke his cheek, laughing even harder as his cheeks became a deeper shade of red.
“I mean seriously, can you even name ten things you don’t like about him?” He asked, suddenly raising his brows in a challenging manner.
“Honestly, I could name ten things I hate about him,” you admitted, taking a bite of your food to punctuate your point. He only shook his head in disapproval as a response before continuing.
“Get back to me in a few weeks, I bet you’ll even end up friends. He seems nice from what I’ve heard” he sent a knowing wink your way before calling the waitress over.
As he began talking to the waitress, his question was still lingering in your mind. Ten things you hated about Mark. You already had certain attributes running around in your head, but you wondered how many more you were going to add to your list. 
          1. I hate that he is inconsiderate
           [Monday]
It was only the first day of your study sessions with Mark, and of course he was late. You were sitting at your usual table in the corner of the library, checking your phone for the nth time. He was almost an hour late and you were anything but surprised. The boy didn’t strike you as the type to keep his word.
“Hey, tutor girl,” The voice struck you from your thoughts, coming from someone you didn’t think you’d see today.
“Mark,” You nodded towards the seat across from you, opening the textbook you had sat in front of you. The boy sat silently, a smug grin painted across his face as he looked at you, eyes focused above your head. 
“I had something pop up, sorry about that man,” even his apologies were insincere and annoying. You almost wanted to toss the coffee drink in his hands into the trash, but you found it in yourself to give him the benefit of the doubt.
“Whatever, let's just get started,” He nodded in response, glancing down at your textbook with a look of uncertainty, “Did you bring your textbook?” It was then that you realized that he hadn’t brought anything with him, not even a pencil. Of course he was unprepared.
“It’s fine, use mine,” You turned yours around towards him before pointing towards a specific chapter. He nodded in response before flicking his eyes back up in your general direction.
“Today, we’ll start with the basics of analyzing a text. We’ll do ethos, pathos, and logos. It’s pretty simple but it’s gonna help with the essay portion,” You rambled on for a few minutes about the basis of arguments and speeches. His eyes were in the book but you couldn't tell if he was understanding or not. Throughout your explanation, you could see his leg shaking and his fingers tapping on the table. 
“Is there anything you want me to go over?” his eyes were still glued to the book as he looked back up at you. He was smiling, as usual, but something about the look in his eye told you that he was utterly confused. 
“No, Uh, I think I understand,” His taps became a bit more intense until he realized you were watching him and stopped. 
“It’s okay if you don't,” you said mindlessly, “I’m here to help,” as much as you weren’t a fan of Mark, you wanted him to do well. It was a part of the reason you liked tutoring. Seeing someone work hard for something, and helping them get there was one of the best feelings in the world.
“It’s fine,” he shrugged, smiling wider. You didn’t understand why he didn’t just say he needed help since it was literally your job, but you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable.
“Let’s go over it one more time, for my sake,” you went over the material again, using more examples, even some from popular music to explain the definitions he didn’t understand.
“I mean, I already understood, but I get it, more,” He said sheepishly, rubbing his face in his hand. You smiled a bit at the light pink color growing on his cheeks as you switched subjects.
“Okay, I believe you. We have some more material to cover though. Since you’re picking it up so quickly,” you smirked at the last statement, flipping the textbook in front of him to the correct page. You ignored his groan of despair, instead continuing the lesson you had planned.
You had believed after the first lesson, he might be easy to work with, but eventually, you were proved wrong. Mark was an absolute menace. His incessant taps on the table, glances around the room, random babbling, and absolute lack of interest in what you said, was pissing you off. Even the librarian had walked over to tell him to be quiet.
“Let’s take a break,” he suggested, running a hand through his hair.
“It’s been thirty minutes, Mark,” you rolled your eyes, pointing back at the sheet in front of you. He seemed to lose focus often, so you decided making him take notes might help.
“I know, but honestly my brain is full,” he whined, sending puppy dog eyes your way. Usually, you would have been able to say no, but his puckered lip and innocent eyes were beginning to sway you. 
“Fine, ten minutes,” you gave in to a smiling mark, who shot his fist up in excitement. He leaned back in his chair, looking into space with a look you couldn’t decipher. He was visibly deep in thought and you were beginning to feel very awkward as time went on.
“Tutor girl, yeah she’s tutoring me
 I wanna go home cause that’s the place to be,
Wherever I am, the vibe is nice,
Cause I’m cool like ice,” he went on and on rambling random rhymes with the biggest smile on his face. Nothing would have made you happier than saying that it sounded terrible, and while the rhymes themselves were ridiculous, his voice had a certain addictive vibe that made you want to keep listening.
He suddenly stopped, grinning at your lack of words “Shocked into silence, they say I have that effect on people,” he smirked nonchalantly eliciting a groan of annoyance from you.
“I don’t know who ‘they’ are, but your ten minutes are up,” 
“What! It’s been like three at most,” he complained, dropping his head in annoyance.
“Well, at least stop being so loud,” you rolled your eyes at the boy, who lit up once again. 
You sat in silence for a few seconds before he finally spoke, “Why are you so uptight, tutor girl?” The nickname was really beginning to bug you and so was the boy sitting across from you.
“I have a name you know,” you finally comment, ignoring his question. You were fiddling with your fingers under the table, doing anything to keep your mind off of the uncomfortable question he had asked.
“I know, Y/N,” Your eyes shot up at the mention of your name, almost giving you whiplash. 
“So, why do you call me that?” 
“It’s just a nickname,” he shrugged lightly before beginning to beatbox. He was like a child with the shortest attention span you had seen on anyone above the age of fifteen.
“It’s definitely been ten minutes now,” you pushed his paper towards him before beginning the next lesson.
            2. I hate that he really is a mystery
                 [thursday]
“I’ve never been here,” You commented, looking up at your very tall friend, Johnny opening the door for you. He was a few years older than you but you ended up bonding through the tutoring center you both worked at.
The building was a typical cafe with a warm mocha toned interior. It had bookcases lining one wall with two big grandpa chairs watching over the small tables littered around the room. The place was relatively empty, with only a few people taking up two tables near the bookshelves. It was super cozy and inviting which made you question why you hadn’t been there sooner.
“Really? A lot of people from school come here,” you only nodded in response, following the boy towards the register. 
Once inside, you immediately walked to the baked goods section, eyeing the various desserts.  
You were glad Johnny called. You had been stressed out, from your mom riding you about job applications, classes reaching finals time, tutoring Mark, etc etc. It felt like as you got older the weight on your shoulders got heavier and heavier. Everyone in your life needed you to decide on your future and you just weren’t there yet. You couldn't even decide on a pastry let alone where you wanted to be in ten years. 
“Are you ready to order?” Johnny tapped your shoulder, pulling you away from your thoughts.
“Sure,” you nodded, masking the sadness the thoughts had brought on.
You watched as the older boy tapped the service bell before peering over the counter.  “Someone’s coming,” he said, leaning back.
“Hey Johnny, what can I get ya today,” the familiar voice caused your eyes to bulge as you looked up at the owner.
“Tutor girl?” 
“Mark,” you mumbled quietly, nodding in his direction. It seemed as if your problems followed you everywhere.
“You two know each other?”Johnny asked with a grin.
Mark answered quickly “We take lit together,” you frowned at the lack of mentioning the fact that you were his tutor. 
“Ah okay,”
“How do you two know each other?” you asked, only half caring.
“We’ve been friends since his freshman year,” The older boy explained.
“Anyway, what do you want bro?” Mark asked informally, smile bright as he got ready to punch the buttons on the screen in front of him.
“I’ll have an americano, give me like two extra shots,” Johnny looked at you, waiting for your order as Mark tapped on the screen.
“Can I get an americano and a chocolate croissant,” 
“Sure,” the younger boy said absentmindedly.
Johnny reached into his wallet before you could even say anything, looking down at you with a “don’t argue” look. You were used to him paying whenever you went out together or even with other friends, even though you always put up a fight.
“Don’t worry about it,” Mark said, pushing Johnny’s card back at him, “on the house,” he explained.
“You sure?” 
“Yeah don’t worry about it,”
“Thank you,” you smiled sincerely, surprised by the gesture.
“He never pays for me,” Johnny said, chuckling as if it were an inside joke before he began looking for a seat.
He finally selected a table in the corner with two chairs beside it, right next to a window. You sat down in the chair, giving the place a once over again. Something had caught your eye this time. You watched as the dark-haired boy darted around behind the register, preparing your drinks expertly. 
“I didn’t know he worked here,” You mumbled absentmindedly, still watching the boy work.
“Yeah, he works at a restaurant too,” Johnny commented, smiling knowingly in your direction. You furrowed your brows as you looked back at him. You didn’t know he had one job, let alone two. 
“Oh,” was all you said, leaving it at that. It seemed like Mark really was a mystery to you. You knew virtually nothing about him. Something about that fact gave you an unsettling feeling that you were too stubborn to think about any further.
             3. I hate that he asks too many questions
                  [Friday]
“I don’t want to gooo,” you whined, fighting against Haechan who was currently pushing you towards the library.
“It’s only the third day. You’re such a baby,” You could practically hear his eyes roll as he stopped in front of the door. He had given you a ride to the library, as he always would if he had time.
“Am not,”
“Are too,” 
“Am not,”
“Are too,” 
“Am not,” Despite how childish it was, you literally stamped your foot, leading to a laughing fit from the two of you. 
“I can’t believe you,” he sighed, lightly shoving you.
“I’m very mature though, on a serious-,” you suddenly stopped speaking as you noticed he wasn’t looking at you anymore, “what is it?” you turned on your heel only to be met with the infamous boy himself.
“Am I too early?” he looked down at his phone with furrowed brows before looking back at you. 
“No, you’re actually on time,” you didn’t mean to come off as passive-aggressive but judging from Mark’s raised brows, you did.
You watched as Haechan reached out to shake Mark’s hand with a friendly smile and a quick mutter of his name. Mark responded by smiling awkwardly before finally reciprocating the gesture. “I’m Mark,” he introduced himself with his world-famous grin before flicking his gaze in your direction.
It was silent for a few moments before Haechan finally said something, “I’ll leave you guys to it,” he smiled one last time, sending you a mischievous look before leaving the two of you alone.
“You ready?” he asked, reaching up to grab the nape of his neck awkwardly. You quickly noticed the Jansport backpack he was sporting. It was a small thing but something about the fact that he came prepared made you feel weird.
“Uhh, yeah,” you opened the door to the library, walking quickly to the usual spot in the corner, Mark trudging quietly behind you.
“I made some flashcards for you,” You began, reaching into your bag and pulling out the index cards that you had put on a binder ring.
“Thanks,” he took the cards from your hand with a smile.
“So that guy’s your boyfriend?” he asked casually while shuffling through the cards.
You jaw all but dropped in shock as you fumbled to find the right words, “absolutely not,” you finally said, “he’s like a brother,” you clarified, waiting for his reaction.
The question made you feel uneasy coming from his mouth. It seemed random and very odd considering neither one of you had ever discussed anything personal.
“Oh, okay. You seem close,” he commented, continuing to look through the flashcards.
“We are, but uh, today lets just talk about your essay structure,” you changed the subject promptly, noticing the grin that was solidifying on his face.
Ten minutes later you could already tell he was distracted, judging by his taps on the table that were rapidly reaching a fever pitch.
He looked in your direction suddenly, “What do you want to do, tutor girl, like after graduation” 
Mark asked you the question like it was the most casual thing to say, like it was comparable to “how was your day” or “what kind of coffee do you like.” No one had really asked you that before, what you wanted to do.
“uh, I’m not sure honestly,” you were unsure of why you were even entertaining the conversation. Had it been asked a few days ago you might have just rolled your eyes and answered with the generic response you had been trained to use.
“Really? You seem like the type to plan everything a hundred steps ahead,” 
You quirked your eyebrow up in surprise “What’s that supposed to mean,” 
A light blush found its way onto his cheeks as he stumbled over his words, “No, it’s just that you, like, seem put together, like you know what you want,” he clarified.
The notion confused you to an extent. You never knew what you wanted. You had spent so long doing what people told you that you should do, that you barely even thought about what you wanted. Honestly speaking, you had only started tutoring because your mother told you it would look good on college applications. You had just so happened to actually end up enjoying it. That was the real reason you always did everything the same way and were what Mark called ‘uptight’.
“I don’t,” you admitted, “I have a hard time knowing what I want,” you trailed off quietly before asking him the same question.
“I want to pursue music, but I’m not sure if it’s practical,” he said shrugging.
“It isn’t practical,” you agreed, smiling lightly at the shocked face Mark sent you, “but if it’s something you want to do, it’s worth trying,” you finished, watching as Mark let out a breath. 
He sighed, “I wish it were that easy,” his table tapping picked up a slow pace. You nodded in agreement, realizing that you were in a similar predicament. “Well, what do you like to do?” he asked suddenly.
“You ask a lot of questions,” you replied simply, playing with the seam of your jeans.
             4. I hate that he’s unbelievably stubborn
                   [Monday]
“Mark, honestly we can just reschedule,” You watched as the boy shook his head, jumping from his previous position.
“No, I’m fine,” he shook his head a few times before gesturing in your direction for you to continue.
The boy kept nodding off throughout your lesson and showing obvious signs that he was in no way capable of learning anything. His eyes were bloodshot as if he hadn’t slept all weekend, his eye bags were at least three shades darker than usual, and most importantly he wasn’t making any noises at all. Not even his usual incessant table taps.
“Mark, you did pretty well on the practice quiz, you can take the day off,” you tried to reason with the boy whose eyes were barely open. It looked like he was sleeping with his eyes open.
“No no, y/n,” him using your real name made you feel weird and told you that he was definitely not in the right mind. “You came all the way here, let’s just start,” 
You chuckled lightly at his groggy and barely comprehensible voice as you closed your books. 
“Why are you so tired anyway? Did you work over the weekend?” you found yourself actually curious about his answer, not just asking something random for the sake of it not being awkward.
He answered simply, trying his best to hide a yawn, “yep,” 
You shook your head disapprovingly before finally speaking, “Alright this is what we’re going to do. One more practice test and then please go home and do us both a favor and go to sleep,” 
“I don’t want to be an inconvenience,” he admitted, sitting upright.
“You’re more of an inconvenience this way because I can't tutor someone who can’t even spell their own name,” I tapped on the corner of his notes, where he had written his name as “mar” leaving the last letter off.
“Fine,” he said finally, lifting his hoodie off of his head.
“You’re so god damn stubborn,” you whispered mostly to yourself.
“I can hear you, y’know,” you smiled at his remark before setting a practice test in front of him.
               5. I hate that he sees what no one else does
                     [Friday]
“Yes, mom,” you paused for a moment, waiting for your mother’s usual rant about how you never did anything right, and how at your age she was already starting her own business, yada yada, the usual. 
“I know,” pause, “I sent them out last week, remember?” pause, “I will,”
“Hey, tutor girl,” Mark greeted, taking his usual seat in front of you. He had a concerned look on his face as he noticed you were on the phone having an unpleasant conversation.
You pulled the phone away from your face, “I’ll be right back,” you shot him a small generic smile before walking outside of the building.
“Y/N if you don’t get it together, I’m going to-” your mother’s voice could be heard despite the fact that you had pulled the phone away from your face.
“I’m in the middle of a tutoring session, I have to call you back later,” you interrupted, pressing the hang-up button soon after.
You took a few long breaths before plastering a smile onto your face and walking back inside the building. You could feel Mark’s eyes on you as you walked towards him trying your best to keep up a strong facade.
“Are you okay,” the concern in his voice as you looked at him almost wiped the smile off of your face.
“I’m fine, let’s get started,”
“It’s okay if you’re not. You can tell me about it,” he paused for a few moments, tapping on the table as he usually did, “I can tell you’re you aren’t,” 
“It’s nothing, let’s just start,” you waved your hand in dismissal.
“If that’s what you want,” he phrased it more like a question than a statement.
“So, today let’s talk about how point of view affects the entire story,” you began your explanation, the fake smile long gone as you gave examples from the required reading. Mark seemed only half interested in what you were saying, which was usually normal, except today you could feel his eyes glued to your face while yours were in the book as you gestured to certain sentences. 
You were not in the mood for his antics and as time passed he was truly starting to bug you. “What!? What are you looking at?” you whisper-yelled in his direction. You found yourself feeling immediately guilty as the boy looked at you in complete and utter shock. His lips had slightly parted into an ‘o’ shape and his brows were slightly raised. His cheeks had even begun turning into a deep red.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t-” he mumbled, trailing off at the end.
You raised your hand to your head, feeling a headache coming on, “no, I’m sorry. Honestly, I’m a little stressed out,” you admitted.
“It’s okay, you can talk to me about it. Like, if you want,” he looked at you expectantly, with a concerned expression adorning his face.
“It’s just my mom. She has a lot of expectations for me. It’s stressful sometimes, y’know,” he nodded at your words, waiting for you to continue, “It’s overwhelming. I don’t really know what to do. It’s like she’s been controlling my life for so long that I don’t even know what I want to do without her telling me,” you finished. 
It felt good letting it all out, and for some reason, you felt comfortable telling Mark about it. He seemed to really listen to you, like he actually cared. 
“Have you ever talked to her about it?” he asked.
“No, she’s not the best listener,” he nodded again.
“Then I think right now all you can do is try to figure out what you actually want for yourself. Like what’s something you really want to do? Like bucket list stuff,” he asked with wide eyes.
“I dunno, maybe a road trip,” you said the first thing that came to mind, mentally slapping yourself at how lame the answer was. “I’ve never really been anywhere,” you explained simply. “Kind of lame,”
He shook his head, “It's not lame if it’s something you want.” You only nodded in response.
“What you want is important, Y/N. Even if you don't know exactly what that is yet.”
               6. I hate that he is everywhere
                     [monday]
“It’s not my fault,” Haechan rolled his eyes at your shocked expression as he spoke.
“Haechan,” you said slowly, “I really shouldn’t have to explain it to you,” you shook your head in his direction. 
You were walking down the main commons area in your school, killing time before your next class.
“If someone says to you, hey! Can I borrow your hanger, how am I supposed to guess that they’ll-” he stopped speaking suddenly, a smile breaking out on his face, “look there’s your boy,” he nodded slightly in the direction ahead of you.
You looked up, almost immediately spotting Mark. He was smiling brightly as he spoke to a girl beside him. She looked to be familiar, maybe from the year below you. You watched as they laughed together, heads falling back as if they were in a movie. You had to admit, they made a cute couple.
“He’s not my boy,” you shoved your friend with light force, ignoring the tight feeling in your chest.
“Don’t worry, pretty sure she’s dating Jeno. Actually no, I’m super sure, every time I see them, they’re sucking face,” he grimaces at the notion, furrowing his brows tightly as if remembering the image vividly.
You shrugged your shoulders nonchalantly, “Why would I worry?”
“Okay, y/n,” he matched your expression, shrugging in the same way you did.
            7. I hate that his car smells just like him
                   [Tuesday]
“No it’s fine, I’ll just find a way home,” you glanced at Mark, whose eyes were on you already. “No, Haechan don’t worry about it. I’ll text you later,” you hung the phone up and looked up at the boy ahead of you.
After you opened up to Mark the previous week, he had begun taking a seat next to you in class. It seemed like you had become friends, or acquaintances at least. That felt weird to even think about. You and Mark were friends? No, acquaintances, you were just acquaintances. 
“Everything okay?” he asked, gathering his belongings.
“Yea, I just have to walk home,” you answered absentmindedly before standing.
“I can, like, give you a ride,” he offered nonchalantly, standing in front of you.
“You drive?”
He smirked at the question, “just got a new car,” 
“Okay then, if it’s no trouble,” you agreed, nodding at him. It was super weird how comfortable you were around him now. There were still things you very much disliked about him, but getting to know him had shown you that there were some things you hadn’t known at all.
“Alright,” he smiled in your general direction before leading the way. You had grown used to his quick pace, keeping up with ease now. 
“It’s nice right,” he pats the old black car lightly, as if he was afraid something would fall off. 
“Super nice,” you agreed with a grin.
You both walked to your respective sides and slid into your seats quietly. You were immediately hit with the smell of watermelon air freshener and the cologne Mark usually wore. 
“You can put your address in,” he pointed to the GPS on the car and you promptly typed it in.
There was a lasting awkward silence after that, Mark focusing diligently on driving while you were focused on counting the red cars that went by. You wondered how long it would take for someone to say something. Eventually, Mark just put on the radio, hoping to fill the silence.
He winced slightly at the country song that began playing, “You wanna hear one of my songs,” he said suddenly, a small smile accompanying his words.
“Sure,” you were actually curious, seeing as you had never heard him rap seriously, only hearing his mumbles when he was bored.
“Press the acronym one,” he said, handing you his phone, eyes still trained on the road. It was almost comical how focused he was while driving whereas during tutoring sessions he was always distracted.
“Que-tay, uhm, qwe-ta,” you tried pronouncing the acronym, eliciting a laughing fit from Mark. His laugh was so innocent you couldn’t help but smile along even though you didn’t know what was so funny.
“Key-tah,” he finally said with a smile.
“Ah,” you nodded, turning the volume up.
The song started off subtly, with a chill beat that matched the atmosphere in the car. You could see Mark’s light blush peeking from your peripheral as the song went on. By the time the second verse began, Mark was humming along before finally fully rapping alongside himself. Again, you were reminded of how addictive his voice was. 
He seemed so passionate at that moment, so confident. He was showing a side to himself that you hadn’t seen before. Someone so comfortable where he was. Someone truly in their element.
“I get why you want to do music,” you commented as the song ended.
“Why?” 
“You love it. I can tell. It’s like more than just a career for you, it’s a part of you,” you said matter of factly. The statement confused you to some degree. You had never seen someone so comfortable in their element. You hated to admit it but you were even a little jealous.
He smiled at that notion, “It is a part of me. Ever since I was young, my dad taught me how to play guitar and that really just jump started my love for it.” You nodded in understanding before picking a random Frank Ocean song on his playlist. 
“You should come to my showcase next week, I just got offered a spot today,” he said suddenly. You were completely shocked that he had asked you. 
“You can bring your friend, I think our whole class is going. It’s supposed to be an end of finals celebration” ah, everyone was going. 
“Okay,” you accepted simply, heat rushing to your cheeks for an unknown reason.
“just put your number in my phone, I’ll send the details later,”
The car ride from then on was more comfortable. What was once an awkward silence had become a relaxed atmosphere where you and Mark would chat about random things like the music on his playlist or the watermelon screensaver on his phone. 
              8.  I hate that he thinks can pull one over on me
                    [wednesday]
 “tutor girl, what’s up?” Mark crashed down into the seat in front of you, setting down a drink carrier from his cafe and a bag.
“Hi, Mark,” you greeted with a smile, shaking your head at his noisy entrance.
“Here you go,” he pushed an Iced Americano in your direction, following with the white bag.
“Oh, thank you, you didn’t have to get me anything,” you watched the smile on his face widen as he shook his head.
“It’s the least I could I could do for my favorite tutor,” your felt your cheeks get hot until you remembered one very important detail.
“I’m your only tutor, and you still have to take the full practice test,” you said sternly, putting the straw in the coffee quickly.
“Come on,” he whined out before starting a whole argumentative speech about how the practice tests were annoying.
               9. I hate that he doubts himself
                    [thursday]
“I mean, and I say this with full respect,” Mark began, “I truly don’t think I’m going to do that well,” he admitted, toying with the drawstring of his hoodie.
“Mark, just because you say with full respect, doesn’t make it more respectful,” you said with a grin, “but seriously, you’ve been doing so well on your practice quizzes. Over 60% every time, which is way better than what we started with,” you admitted, wincing a bit at the last statement you let slip out.
“Still, that’s not a passing grade,” he shrugged, utterly defeated as he picked up the essay rubric from his desk. His usual brighter than the sun smile had disappeared, leaving you feeling uncomfortably cold.
“Honestly your lack of trust in my tutoring skills is beginning to annoy me,” 
“No, dude, I trust you,” your eyes flew to him at that statement. He was still pondering over the paper in front of him as he continued, “I just feel like I suck at this stupid subject,” he threw the paper back onto the table at that statement.
You found yourself giving a pep talk without even a second thought “No, you don’t. You’re caught on quickly. You’re so smart but you need to stop second-guessing yourself. You’re going to do well. Even better than well because you have my help.”
“Thanks, tutor girl. I appreciate you,” you could tell he was sincere because he had met your eyes, even if just for a split second. It was the first time he had ever looked you in your eyes and it was making you feel things.
“I’m serious though, you are way smarter than you give yourself credit for, and you should know that you are no matter what score you get on this stupid test,” you finish, grinning as the smile returned on his face.
“Okay,” he nodded lightly as he stood waiting for you to join him.
You chuckled lightly at the boy as you looked up at him, “What is it, Mark?” he had a sheepish look on his face as if he was nervous about something other than the obvious.
“uhm well,” He was looking intently at you when you didn’t notice, waiting for any signs that he was annoying you.
“Actually, there’s something I was going to ask you,” a light blush found its way onto his cheeks as he spoke. You nodded in his direction waiting for whatever he had to say, looking up to find his eyes on you. 
At that moment you noticed almost like for the first time how pretty his eyes were. They were so doe-like and innocent, you couldn’t stop staring. 
To outsiders, you both would have seemed very odd as you stood just staring at each other. 
“Well, I-”
“Y/N, hurry- oh shoot, sorry,” Haechan’s voice rang from the doorway, pulling you out of whatever trance you had been in.
“I’m almost done,” you widened your eyes in Haechan’s direction for emphasis, looking back at Mark who had already looked away. “What were you saying, Mark?”
He smiled lightly for a moment, “Don’t worry about it. It’s nothing important,”
You furrowed your brows lightly, “You sure.”
“Yeah, we’ll talk later,” 
              10. I hate that I don’t hate him
                   [Friday]
“I told you so,” Haechan was grinning ear to ear as he joined you on your walk to class.
“I could name ten things I hate about him, yeah right,” He laughed to himself suddenly, mocking your old statement. “Imagine my shock seeing your face a few inches away from his. I should’ve taken a picture.”
“Shut up,” you pushed him lightly, finally reaching the door to the lit class.
“I’ll see you afterwards, good luck,” he said, sending you a final wave before walking away.
It was the test date and you were sure that Mark was nervous. As soon as you got into the room, you noticed his fingers tapping violently on the desk, his single mechanical pencil clattering as it jumped around. He was there early, earlier than you were and that was saying something. The room was empty except for the two of you, even despite you being only about fifteen minutes early.
“Mark,” you had to call his name a second time to get his attention. “Mark, relax,” you took the seat next to him and swiftly grabbed his chattering hand in your own. You watched as his leg began bouncing up and down as if it were mocking the pencil’s previous movement, “Mark, breathe,” his eyes were glued to something in the distance, his breath labored.
“Shit, I’m not prepared,” he muttered quietly, “I should have done another quiz,” he breathed out. “and I can’t fucking breathe,” he clenched his brows at the last statement, his breathing coming out as quick huffs.
“Look at me, Mark,” you reached up to turn his chin towards you. “I think you’re having an anxiety attack,” you said the words slowly, hoping to not make it any worse.
“You have to breathe, I’m right here and I’m not going to let go of you,” you squeezed lightly on his hand to emphasize your words.
“You’ve studied and studied. You’ve worked hard. You’re going to do well. All you have to do now is relax and breathe. In and out,” his eyes were glued to yours before he finally closed them altogether and began taking slow deep breaths.
“I’m here with you, and we’re both going to destroy this thing,” he nodded slowly at your words, opening them a few minutes later as his breathing reached a normal pace and his leg stopped bouncing. 
You released his hand in the next second, sending him a small smile.
“I’m glad you’re with me,” was the last thing he said before people began filing into the room.
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[Monday]
“I know what you’ve all been waiting for. I have your graded finals,” Your professor had waited until the end of the day to finally share the news, leaving everyone anxious.
It was utterly silent as he passed them around, only the sound of him saying a quick “see me after class,” to Mark, who immediately winced at the statement. You couldn’t help but furrow your brows in confusion, noticing that Mark hadn’t received his test back.
“Class is dismissed,” he pointed towards the doorway after delivering the final test, smiling lightly at the people whose arms were thrown up in celebration.
Your score wasn’t that big of a surprise, you had gotten what was expected of you. You were way more interested in Mark. So you decided to wait outside the door, watching as students filed out.
It seemed like hours had passed while you were waiting for him. You mindlessly scrolled through your phone, completely missing the sounds of someone walking up to you, that someone being Mark himself.
You yelped in surprise as you were lifted off of your feet and spun around in the air.
“What the hell,” was all you said as the boy set you down.
“Y/N, Look!” he exclaimed, handing you the test with a huge eighty-five percent scribbled in red on the top right corner of the sheet.
“Mark, I told you, you could do it,” you hugged the smiling boy, grinning brightly at him.
“I couldn’t have without you, Y/N,” the sincerity in his eyes as they bore into your own was making you melt on the spot. 
“No more tutor girl?” you asked, grin never falling.
“You’ll always be tutor girl but, uh,” he paused as if deep in thought for a moment, “I really like spending time with you. I think it will be weird not seeing you all the time,” you nodded in agreement, realizing that the semester had ended, meaning it was summer break.
“Well, we’re friends now right. We can still hang out,” you offered, watching as the boy looked down with a look you couldn’t decipher.
“Um, I know we’re friends, but,” he stepped a little closer to you, “I was wondering like, y’know if it’s possible, if you maybe wanna,” he continued to stumble over his words. You couldn’t help but smile at his very awkward, very cute way of asking you what you already knew he was getting at.
“Mark, do you want to go out sometime,” you finally blurted, chuckling at his pink face. 
“Yes, I would like that a lot,” he said nodding.
“I don’t know if you knew but uhm, I mean it was before, but basically um, I’m sorry I judged you before, Mark,” you apologized suddenly watching as he shook his head in dismissal. It had been on your mind for a while even despite him not knowing.
“I knew you felt that way before. That’s kind of why I was so like reluctant to have you as my tutor,” he grabbed your hand and squeezed lightly.
“That’s why you were so weird the day he told us,” you nodded in understanding remembering the look Mark gave you when you were first introduced, as if you spat in his drink. In his defense you deserved it.
“Honestly, yeah,” he confessed, “but in your defense, I am kind of an acquired taste,” 
“That’s not an excuse. I was an idiot,” you admitted, “Mark, you’re amazing,” he smiled lightly at your last statement, taking the time to just look at you. His brown eyes were like a pool, drawing you in until you sank, unable to stop staring.
He reached out, cupping your cheek with his hand before speaking, “Can I kiss you?”
You only nodded in response, waiting patiently as he lowered his head towards your face until he was less than a centimeter away. It felt like hours had passed until his lips grazed yours, allowing a tingling sensation to move throughout your body.
 In a flash, your arms were around his neck and he was holding onto you delicately, like you would break if he was too rough. He tasted like a mixture of mint and watermelon gum. His warm foresty and floral scent was filling your senses, actively intoxicating you as his lips moved against yours rhythmically. The kiss was greater than any apology you could have given him since it was full of the emotion you couldn’t fully articulate. Mark was fully focused on you in the moment, lips moving against yours like a magnet.
“I told you to become friends, not make out in public,” you heard Haechan’s voice interrupt, causing you to immediately pull away from the boy in front of you. You couldn’t help but laugh uncontrollably at Haechan's mortified face and Mark’s intense blush.
“Sorry,” Mark muttered quietly, smiling as he looked down at you.
Haechan walked towards the older boy, looping a hand around his shoulder as he spoke, “Y’know, I always saw this coming. She said she didn’t like you, but a best friend always knows,” you could only shake your head as Mark looked back at you as if asking for help. You could hear Haechan going on and on about his premonitions as you trailed behind the two boys, feeling a sense of happiness you hadn’t felt in a long time. 
Mark was someone you could never see yourself with. He was loud, always distracted, obnoxious, stubborn, and mysterious. But he was also kind, deliberate, hard-working, smart, infectiously positive, and beautiful. You didn’t know when the thought struck you, but as you looked up at the brunette boy walking ahead you finally knew what you wanted. You wanted him by your side for as long as possible.
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