#and he really mines the text for meaning and relevance and everything.

[aq2003]

[pulls up a chair w the director of 2015 rsc LLL] wait okay so what do YOU think love's labour's lost is about if you're, like, taking away the play's commentary on race and beauty standards and how that interacts with the wider "frivolity of romance" theme

[all-seeing-ifer]

Aromanticism in Academia

Since it's currently Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week and I'm currently in the middle of a master's research project about aromanticism and asexuality, I figured I'd contribute by putting together a list of some books and other academic sources I've read so far that deal with aromanticism! There's very little written about aromanticism in academia, so I think it's important to spotlight what we do have.

DISCLAIMER BEFORE THE LIST: Due to the lack of discussion of aromanticism specifically in academia, most of what I've found are texts that are primarily about asexuality but also discuss aromanticism. It's unfortunate, but it is also where we're kind of at right now in terms of academia, so bear that in mind.

Books:

Ace Voices: What it means to be asexual, aromantic, demi, or grey-ace by Eris Young - Definitely has the most focus on aromanticism of everything that I've read so far, this book draws from a combination of the author's personal experiences and interviews with other members of the a-spec community, including aroace and alloaro people. A good source of discussion of aro issues and how they interact with things like gender stereotypes. Also notable for its discussion of QPRs, a topic which I find has generally been ignored in academia about a-spec identities.

Ace: What Asexuality reveals about desire, society, and the meaning of sex by Angela Chen - Primarily deals with asexuality, as the title suggests, but also contains some relevant discussions of aromanticism, including the experiences of aroallo people. If you're going to check out the book, I would especially recommending looking at chapter 7: Romance, Reconsidered, which features most of the discussion of aromanticism and non-normative relationships

Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on our Sex-Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J Brown - Again, asexuality is the main focus here, but I would still recommend checking out this book as it does still contain some useful discussion of aromanticism, particularly an extended critique of "singlism" (i.e. discrimination of single people) and how it is weaponised against aros. I also find Brown's criticism of the dehumanisation of aromanticism in media to be very compelling!

Minimizing Marriage: Marriage, Morality, and the Law - I would be remiss not to mention Brake's work here. While Minimizing Marriage is not specificallly about aromanticism and deals with marriage reform and the concept of amatonormativity more broadly, I think it's fair to say that many of Brake's ideas (particularly her coining of amatonormativity as a term) have become vital to the aro community and aro activism in recent years. Definitely a must-read for anyone interested in deconstructing amatonormativity and in contemporary critiques of marriage as an institution, though it's worth noting that this is a work of moral/political philosophy first and foremost, and as such it gets very into the weeds of things. Available on the Internet Archive here

Academic Articles/Essays (all can be found in the collection Asexualities: Feminist and Queer Perspectives):

"Why didn't you tell me that I love you?": Asexuality, Polymorphous Perversity, and the Liberation of the Cinematic Clown by Andrew Grossman - A really interesting and engaging analysis of the archetype of the silent film clown, and how it can be read as an a-spec figure. While Grossman uses the language of asexuality, his analysis makes it clear that he is looking at the clown as both an asexual AND aromantic character.

On the Racialization of Asexuality by Ianna Hawkins Owen - A personal favourite of mine. I think many parts of this essay will be very relevant to aromantic people, particularly Owen's investigation of how romantic love came to be pedastalised and her critique of attempts to normalise asexuality by distancing it from aromanticism.

Mismeasures of Asexual Desires by Jacinthe Flore - A critique of the pathologisation of asexuality that also discusses how aromanticism challenges common discourses around intimate relationships

Finally, I would like to mention the work of Bella DePaulo, who has written extensively about singlism and compulsory coupling, and who Brown uses extensively as a source in their writing on aromanticism. I didn't want to make this part of the main list because I haven't yet had a chance to get stuck into DePaulo's work, but based on Brown's mentions of her work I believe she has some very interesting ideas that are very relevant to aro people.

As you can probably tell, the list of academic sources dealing with aromanticism and aro issues is very limited. However, while aromanticism is vastly underdiscussed in an academic context, I'd like to point out that this is also only what I've been able to find so far. If anyone has any other recommendations please do add them to this post - I for one would love to hear about them!

[embervoices]

From when I was a teenager my Mom started having me attend the Proposition Parties she held for her adult friends.

Wait, no. Let me try that again.

When I was nearing voting age and Mom wanted me to learn more about the process, she had me start attending the gatherings with her fellow registered voters to discuss the state ballot Propositions and evaluate what they would actually do.

Phew. Some sentences really get away from you, don't they?

Anyway!

We would gather in some open dining room restaurant with all the relevant newspaper articles and activist group writeups and such, and go over what all the different groups said about each proposition:

Who was for it or against it and why, what their biases were

Where the money was coming from for each line of promotion

Who brought up and who paid for the proposition itself

What the text of the thing actually said

What any legal experts had offered on what it all means

What any socio-political or topic experts had offered on what secondary effects it might have that weren't explicit in the text

The one thing we never went over was how we should vote about it.

Anyone of any political persuasion was welcome as long as they could be civil and stay focused on the goal to come to an accurate consensus of what implementing the proposed law would actually do, not whether that was what we wanted to happen.

Now, it happens most of the folks who attended were fairly liberal at least in social values, since they were my Mom's friends and family. But the economic side of things varied tremendously, as did trust in government at various scales, ideals of how things should be handled between citizens, businesses, and government, and sense of reality of how things actually do get handled in practice.

Going even once to such a gathering is extremely educational. I'm a little sorry I've been too overwhelmed to join in the last few years. Thankfully a good friend of mine who is far more involved in tracking politics than I am, and whose judgement I both trust and am quite familiar with (including where we tend to disagree) also provides really great detailed writeups of the ballots that are - since he lives near me - the exact same ones I will be seeing.

Voting wisely takes some effort. Knowing who to trust in a world full of misinformation, disinformation, propaganda, and now outright AI bullshit is not a trivial exercise. If you're overwhelmed I 100000% understand!

But I want to say, the effort it takes can also be a lovely excuse to hang out with some of your smarter, more caring friends for an afternoon, too. You don't have to single-handedly know everything. You aren't in this alone.

So I think it's a worthwhile effort if you can find the time.

[aeonophagic]

I wanted to look at the boothill tag and somehow came across voidhill which has very much piqued my interest 👁👁

Can I pleaaaaaaaaase have an explanation bc this voidhill thing now has me on a chokehold 🙏🙏

Yayyy I’m glad you’re interested in them!!! They mean a lot to me… I’m happy to answer any and all questions

So if this means you don’t know who VA is (apologies if I’m assuming), I’ll say they’re a HI3 character with HSR cameos who’s most likely around there somewhere. I treat them as my OC by this point though so that’s not really all that relevant. They’re a supercomputer in a human body, their purpose is archiving humanity’s knowledge. As an archive, they remember everything they’ve learnt in perfect detail, which aid their powers that allow them to recreate things they’ve learnt the composition of.

To put it shortly: I made it up as a crack ship but I ended up making an entire story for them. Cyborg who surpassed his body’s human limits, Supercomputer who keeps trying to make their human body surpass its human limits. They both have their particular relationships with their humanity, or lack of.

To put it unfiltered, here’s how I put it last month. Some little things I’d change now, but this is a good idea of it still:

(Transcript of the first paragraph is in ALT text. It won’t let me add the others)

It’s kind of about them both conditioning each other to change. Void Archives becomes more interested in relationships and intimacy, more willing to participate in them; Boothill realises he’s really into this freak apparently.

My friend wrote the dialogue for this comic a few months ago that describes how they experience their attraction for each other basically:

I need to reformat this into a vertical comic real bad

Boothill is the first cyborg’ed human they get to meet so personally so they’re particularly interested in him. Their possessiveness doesn’t come from a place of “we’re in a relationship, so you’re mine”—they’re not really in a relationship, it’s complicated—but “I know more than anyone, I remember every nook and cranny, so I am objectively the best qualified one to handle modifying/repairing your body”. Here’s a little doodle I haven’t posted here yet of them doing exactly that

They’re very focused on the task at hand!

This is a basic rundown of their dynamic, I won’t delve too much into their story unless you’re interested in hearing that too. I really appreciate you asking. I usually express myself through my drawings and comics without saying much else about them, so thank you for giving me the chance to ramble a bit about them :)

[true-blue-sonic]

For the Ask Game:

💥 What is one canon thing that you wish you could change?

⏰️ Do you like to post fics on a schedule or at random?

🔮 Any advice for writers working through burnout or writer’s block?

💥 What is one canon thing that you wish you could change?

Hmm, it's not really a change, but I wish we would get more clarity on Silver and his time-travelling abilities. There's a lot of information from which we can infer that he travels to the past out of his own free will (e.g. Silver always says he came from the future instead of getting sent from the future), but in the same vein, the characters who live there don't seem to know anything about how it works either (e.g. Tails being startled by Dodon Pa being able to send letters through time and space towards Silver and Blaze). I would like it if we got a complete confirmation that Silver has full control over his time-travelling, and furthermore what means he uses, such as the Chaos Emeralds.

⏰️ Do you like to post fics on a schedule or at random?

When I'm writing a multi-chapter fic, I try to stick to a schedule: New Beginnings got uploaded on Fridays, and Genesis on Sundays because I found having the weekend to work on it more really helped with finalising the chapters. Hmm, if I ever start publishing Could Reminisce Forever, maybe I'll do it on Saturdays this time? XD

One-shots I just post whenever they are finished, though!

🔮 Any advice for writers working through burnout or writer’s block?

I'm having quite the case of it right now, rip... I think "just get started" is always good; what you have can be edited. In the words of an acquaintance of mine: you cannot edit an empty page. "Do it scared" is also a good one: even if you fear that it'll suck, you don't need to upload everything you write immediately! I've found that just writing something and coming back after a few days gives me ample opportunity to edit a text I feel unsure about into something far more pleasant to read. I've also read a tip that you should make a playlist with songs relevant to your story and go walking for 30 minutes if you are stuck; I'm gonna try that one myself too. And I think it is most important to make it fun! I enjoy really getting in the heads of my characters and trying to imagine what they're feeling and doing, which I then try to put on paper. So find what makes writing fun for you, and hold onto that ^-^

But also, write what you find fun! I love fluff and romance stories, so that's what I write most, with Espio and Silver. I think that's why New Beginnings was so enjoyable for me to work on: there was an overarching plot and some stakes, but most of it was very lowkey cuteness of the bois getting to know each other better and falling in love. Maybe I myself should look into that for Could Reminisce Forever too🤔

[thessalian]

Thess vs Ticket Issues

Anyone who thinks that nerds are childish and somehow lacking in adulthood because of their hobbies and interests really needs to watch us arrange a convention sometime. I'm not even talking about the money required to go to a convention. I'm talking logistics. Travel time, organisation of activities for every given day, sorting the souvenir budget. And that's just if everything goes right.

See, my mother booked a physical ticket when she bought me my weekend priority entry to MCM Comic Con this year, and it arrived on Friday. My stepfather brought it Sunday when he finished programming the new heaters (well, one of the new heaters; today's the other one, fixing a hole he made in a wall, and sorting out the boiler ... theoretically, anyway). The first thing I thought was, "Ooh, pretty". The second thing I thought was, "...wait, why does this only say Sunday Priority instead of Weekend Priority?" I mean, the envelope was opened, and Mum and David had already had a look, but they don't understand how any of this works, and anyway probably stopped looking particularly closely when they saw MCM on the flier inside and knew it was technically mine. So they obviously didn't catch it. I, however, did, and it's my ticket, so I was going to have to sort something out.

At first I thought, "Well, maybe it's only the physical ticket that says the wrong thing and the QR code is fine" ... but I was deluding myself because the card is honestly more like a gift card you can get for various shops than anything else, and that probably means that there's just a batch of tickets with QR codes on them for specific days pre-printed and sent out as appropriate, and I just got the wrong one. However, I did want to confirm, so I downloaded the app for the convention (entire conventions have apps now, which I'm sure is helpful but still will not stop being weird) and begin the process of activating my ticket, just to see what happens. I eventually get the text boxes for confirming individual day tickets and weekend tickets. Try my confirmation code in the Weekend Priority Ticket box ... before I even hit submit, it's telling me that the code is invalid. Put the confirmation code for Sunday in? No such message. So they sent me the wrong ticket. Well, fuck.

First thing I did was check to see if that had happened to anyone else. If it has, it isn't a huge deal on the places people complain about such (like, for instance, Reddit), at least not even under the best search terms my black belt in Google-fu could generate. Now, there was the option to email the con runners, but ... well ... much as I hate and despise it, sometimes you just have to talk to a human being for some peace of mind. So I called the line for queries.

Surprisingly, I got an actual person on the line right away. A person in a really shitty wireless headset who I could only partly understand, but an actual person. So I explained the issue, gave him the QR code on the physical ticket and the confirmation ID on the confirmation email my mother forwarded to me, and now all I have to do is go to the query desk with my confirmation ID on my phone and it'll all get sorted. And I had to go to the query desk anyway for an accessibility lanyard, so that's okay. I mean, I'm going to bring my physical ticket just in case they want to see it, but that's only because decades as a secretary has taught me to cover your ass and have all even potentially relevant documents to hand when you're dealing with an issue. Better overprepared than having to fumble for things.

So that's my spark of adrenaline for the day - I actually had to ring customer service and sort out a problem. Because seriously, Marion's coming for the whole weekend and my autographs are booked for Saturday, so going only on Sunday is not an option, even if my mother hadn't spent just over £100 for the ticket, the delivery of physical ticket that they screwed up anyway, and a souvenir pin badge that I also have to pick up at the query desk. Or at least a query desk.

Anyway, look, I adulted my ass off to sort out the mess the people sending tickets made of my con information. Nobody gets to tell me that going to a comic convention makes me less than adult.

[firstdivisiongirl]

Heyyy I'm that anon who forgot to put stuff in the matchup request, which I'm really sorry for, should've been more careful ☹️☹️

Anyway I updated the whole thing and was wondering if you could do the matchup again?? It's okay if not

Again, I would like a romantic matchup for TR. The gender of the character doesn't matter

Pronouns she/he/they

Sexuality: biromantic and demisexual

I'm a Leo if that's of any help😭

I'm an INTP 5w4 (also phlegmatic-sanguine).Personality wise I'm a very calm person that looks tired most of the time but I also get extremely talkative when I'm with people I'm comfortable with or whom I've known for e very long time. And when I'm with those people I'm the teasing flirty type.I'm also very lazy, like hella lazy. I mostly sleep around all day and do nothing unless I REALLY have to.

People in general don't talk to me unless I butt into the conversation and then I sort of steal the spotlight even though I don't really mean it, but people don't seem to mind because they say I'm funny.So basically at first glance I get deemed as an extrovert. Even tho whenever I manage to get rid of people I basically become a human fossil and not talk to anyone and that goes as far as ignoring texts for months, which I agree is a toxic trait.So yeah, I'm going to ghost people no matter who they are at some point.I've seen someone include this so I'm going to say it: my giving love language are words of affirmation and receiving would be gifts or physical touch.

Okay as for likes and dislikes (sorry that I forgot about this, my bad):

Dislikes: people who think they know everything, bullies, people who don't know when to shut up- people-. Okay no, just kidding. I dislike most types of food, aka I'm a picky eater. I also dislike being told what to do and stuff like that

Likes: I like a lot of stuff actually. From comics to games to manga to anime to banana ice cream (don't ask why that's relevant). I also love collecting stuff. Like it could be random rocks or merch, I like to collect.

I also have the usual hobbies aka reading, drawing and listening to music. I like to write too. And does annoying my friends count?? A hobby of mine (if it's even considered a hobby) is to psychoanalyze people. Okay not doing a full psychoanalysis of them, just analyzing them in general.

And again sorry for forgetting stuff :((

Hello there. No need to apologize. Things happen all the time. I am just happy that I am able to fulfill your request. So...I hope you like it!

You Got...

Hinata Tachibana!!!!

Would 100% bring you little collectibles wherever she goes!

She would understand that you need time to be alone and respect that. Would she worry? Yes. Would she eventually realize that you are okay? Yes.

She would always tell you how much she loves you and how she thinks you are amazing.

Would defend you if anyone tried to bully you, since you hate people like that.

Would think you are super funny and super nice.

Dates would be either to get ice cream or maybe a concert.

I can picture you flirting with her and she gets super happy and flustered all at the same time.

Will listen to you talk for hours because she loves you and finds you so interesting.

[krispytidalwavesheep]

Hopes and Dreams III

.I am not entirely sure about this chapter, if I’m completely honest, so I’ll probably rewrite it at a later time. If you want to get added to the taglist just let me know! Thanks for your continuos support with this fic, it honestly gives me so much life right now! *** Chapter 3

“There seem to still be a few things you haven’t seen.” Lady Dimitrescu stated after you reached the sitting room.

“It’s not everyday that you see girls turn into a swarm of bugs. I’ve seen a lot, but I never said I have seen everything.”

“Which brings me to the question that I want answered. What are you? My first guess would be that you are a vampire, like me and my daughters, but I have a feeling that that isn’t true. Sit down please, so that I can take a look at your wound.” Her tone brooked no argument, so you did as you were told and rolled up the leg of your pants. You winced when you saw the true extend of the damage. Even with enhanced healing it would take a few hours to properly heal.

“My biological father was a scientist, who researched a lot of occult and supernatural topics. He was also a massive asshole who thought it okay to experiment on his own baby daughter, so there’s that. I don’t know how, but someone he got his hands on the DNA of some creature no one really has a name for, but I have a guess. The only thing he really knew, was that they are like Vampires, but much more powerful.

He injected me with the DNA when I was four, but nothing happened, so I was deemed a failure. He did all kinds of tests on me, to see if the DNA would activate, but it didn’t. At least not until he tried to kill me. I was no stranger to torture after he failed, but that night I knew he came to finish it. I was 10, and I was scared and angry, so much so, that something in me broke. There wasn’t much left of him after I was finished. 

I’ll spare you most of the details of what happened after, since it is not relevant for what you want to know, and I hate the feeling of being exposed when I don’t know if I can trust the person in front of me. I ran away and my benefactor found me and took me in. I don’t know how, but somehow, he knew what I had become, and he took it upon himself to make sure that I got the best training I could get. I can somewhat use my enhanced abilities, but I am not completely awakened. I’ll get to that part shortly. 

After 6 years I was deemed ready to repay the favor and got sent on a hunt for rare artifacts, as I mentioned earlier. I was free to research my condition whenever the opportunity arose, and I did. I traveled the whole world, met all kinds of creatures and people, yet no one could help me with my predicament. That was until 8 months ago, when I found the first real clue. But that clue came with a price and I have been cursed. 

I still don’t have a name for the creature that I have become, but I found an old text that explained a lot to me. My kind won’t fully awaken until they bond themselves to another being, that has roughly the same power that we have. That’s where the curse made things more complicated: If I try to bond with anyone that isn’t my destined mate, I will die. Slowly and painfully. 

And if that isn’t enough, the curse took the ability to sense my mate away from me, at least in the traditional sense. Usually, we will know our mate by smell alone, for their blood will sing to us like nothing else ever could. We would feel a strong pull towards them, and they to us, for our blood will be just as exquisite to them, as theirs is to us. The curse took that ability away from me, and now I am destined to walk the earth, waiting for my mate to find me. 

Another side effect is what I call ‘boiling blood’. When I feel threatened enough it will activate and temporarily awaken me. I can’t control it though, and that is the problem. It only happened once so far, and that was when someone I care a great deal for, got hurt. But I have it under control for the most part. I just don’t like it when people I care about get hurt, I lost myself even before the curse happened. And I do understand if you deem me to dangerous and kick me out of the castle. You wouldn’t be the first one.” You ended lamely and sighed. It always took a lot out of you when you talked about the past. 

“You mentioned that you have a theory about what exactly you are?” Alcina asked and gently patted your dressed wound. You suppressed the gentle shiver that wanted to roll down your body and said, “I think I am a Vampire, but one of the first generation.”

***

“And what makes you think that?” Alcina asked carefully. You pondered that for a moment, her eyes never leaving you. She could see that it took a toll on you to tell her all that, and she could understand that. Admitting what had happened couldn’t be easy, especially when there was the possibility that you would be thrown out or worse. Alcina didn’t plan on doing either of those things though, and she would tell you soon enough. An idea was forming in her head.

“I read a lot about vampires and had my fair share of encounters, none of them as nice as the one with you, so I figured it must be something like that. Whenever a Vampire turns someone, a miniscule part of their DNA gets implanted in the one they’ve turned. That is why your Maker will always be stronger than you. But since I got way more DNA with fathers’ experiments, it could mean that I am the first person who got turned into a Vampire of the first generation. And if not first, then second, which would still be infinitely more powerful than a Vampire of third or fourth generation. Although I can’t be sure, since I destroyed everything that could give me a clue, when I killed my father.” You said silently, looking at the floor. Alcina couldn’t help but feel pity for you. A bad hand was dealt to you, and you just tried to live your life. She also admired how strong and confident you were, even after all that had happened.

“I have an offer for you.” Alcina said and put two fingers under your chin to make you look at her, ignoring your blush.

“Stay here. You have nowhere else to go, right? You fascinate me and I want to know more about your abilities if you are willing to show me. And I could use a hand to help me in the castle’s upkeep. But make no mistake, my dear. As soon as you show me that you become a threat, I will dispose of you. What do you say?” Alcina asked, but she knew your answer already. She could see it in the softening of your eyes and the spark of hope that flickered in your eyes. You gently nodded and gave her the most brilliant smile she had ever seen. Both of you briefly wondered where that feeling of trust came from, you more than Alcina, but for the moment it was enough.

***

A weird sense of coming home fell over you, when you looked into her eyes, that had gentled with your consent. She could probably kill you with a snap of her fingers, but somehow you got the feeling that she wouldn’t. Most people feared you when you told them what you were, not all of them humans either. But she gave you the feeling of safety, no matter what your nature was, and you wondered. Could she be the one that was fated to be with you? Or was that just wishful thinking, because she showed you kindness where everybody else would only show you fear and hatred? You were immensely attracted to her, that’s for sure, but could she be the one? 

“I want to see the full extend of your abilities as fast as possible if you don’t mind. If it is alright with you, I would arrange a little sparring session between you and my daughters.” Lady Dimitrescu said and took a seat on the chaise lounge in front of you. 

“I wouldn’t mind. It has been far too long since someone has offered me a challenge, so I will gladly accept, my Lady. My wound should be fully healed by tomorrow, so we can start first thing if you’d like,” you offered, eager to show her what you were capable of. Maybe she will keep you around for longer if you show her that you would be a valuable asset to her castle.

“I would like that very much, my dear. But now is time for you to eat and rest, as it is rather late. The day has been rather long and eventful, not just for you.”

“Of course, my Lady,” you smile and as if on cue, the door to the sitting room opened and one of the daughters entered the room with two plates. You hadn’t even realized how hungry you were until the smell of the food hit your nostrils. The two of you ate in companionable silence, and soon enough it was time to leave her presence for the night. 

The guest room she showed you was like nothing you have ever slept in before. You were used to all sorts of places to sleep, but never have you seen a bed so big and comfortable looking.

“Good Night, my dear. I hope you sleep well,” Lady Dimitrescu said and left you to your own devices before you could answer her. You dressed down to your tank top and shorts and fell into a peaceful slumber as soon as your head hit the pillow.

***

When you next opened your eyes, you were surrounded by the familiar darkness of your dreamscape, yet something felt different. You could sense a presence at the edge pf your consciousness and soon enough, a gentle voice spoke to you “So you finally found her.”

“Huh?” you asked into the darkness, chills running down your spine. The voice giggled and a shadow crept into the edge of your vision, which soon turned into a girl, that oddly enough, had somewhat of a resemblance to you.

“Who are you?”

“You’ll have to find that our for yourself. But what matters is, that you have finally found her. My Alcina,” the girl said and looked close to tears, although she was still smiling.

“Don’t get me wrong, but I don’t think that Lady Dimitrescu belongs to anyone.” You said, defensive of the Lady. That made the girl laugh again, and you couldn’t get over the fact that she looked so much like yourself.

“You are right. But she was mine, as I was hers, a long time ago. Listen, the castle’s magic is strong, but not strong enough to give me enough time to explain everything. Just trust me, okay? Stay by her side, no matter what. Protect her. But most important: Take care of yourself. She lost us too many times already, but maybe you are the one that will break this hellish circle.” 

“I-I don’t understand!” you said desperately, trying to reach for the girl, but she was already fading.

“We will speak to each other again when the time is right. Until then, remember my words. Please protect her. Do what we couldn’t do and survive.” Were her parting words before you awoke, drenched in cold sweat. What the fuck was that?

But no matter how hard you tried to grasp at your dream and its implications, you felt your consciousness fading and fell back into a deep slumber.

***** Taglist: @imdreamingblo @x-x-trixxster-k-m-w-x-x

[five-rivers]

Danger First

Chapter 3

@pocketramblr (also please let me know if you would like me to stop tagging you on these, I don't want to be annoying. :))

"WAIT!" shouted Nana abruptly, as Izuku was talking to his (weirdo) teacher. "I know who that is! Quick, get ready to turn everything off!"

"Turn what off?" asked En. "We live in a formless mental void. We don't even have electricity."

"The quirk! That's Eraserhead!"

"Oh, yeah," said Yoichi, while everyone else (sans Second and Third) scrambled to grab onto the quirk. "I remember Eight meeting him, now! So, he's a teacher, huh?"

"How do all of you forget the one person who might be capable of one-shotting All for One?" demanded Nana.

"Doesn't his quirk not work on mutations?"

"Stop daydreaming and get over here, Yoichi!"

The quirkspace began to glow faintly, ominously red, and the ghosts pulled hard on the quirk, holding it temporarily out of Izuku's reach.

Then, the red glow abated and they dropped it back into place.

"Well, that was exhausting," said Banjo. "So, we'll have to be constantly ready for that, huh?"

"As long as he's around, yeah," said Nana.

"Why did we just do that, anyway?" asked En.

"So we can continue to masquerade as a normal, non-haunted quirk?"

"We could have just let him think he didn't have a quirk, or that the anxiety-"

"Super anxiety."

"-isn't part of it."

Yoichi gasped, as if scandalized. "You'd want us to lie to Izuku?"

"Okay, seriously, what is up with you and Nine?" asked En.

Despite not having a body, Yoichi began to visibly sweat. "Nothing, nothing at all. I just... think he's neat?"

"If you're going to lie to us, can you not do it with archaeomemes?" asked Nana.

"No, no, actually, I can get behind this," said En. "Would you say Izuku has... vibes?"

Yoichi nodded solemnly.

.

"Young Midoriya!"

Izuku shrieked and jumped back from the sudden sound as All Might suddenly emerged from an otherwise innocuous bush.

Both of them froze, staring at each other.

"Are you..." said All Might, hesitantly, sounding much more like he did in his small form than usual, "alright?"

"I... think so?"

"That's good, then." All Might coughed slightly into his fist. "I was wondering if you had a few minutes."

"Of- of course!" said Izuku, immediately.

"Then allow me to lead the way!"

All Might led him through a door labeled 'staff only' and immediately deflated. "All the staff know about my condition," explained Mr. Yagi.

Izuku nodded. Then a thought occurred to him. "Mr. Yagi?"

"Yes, my boy?"

"Why, um, why don't you teach, um, as Mr. Yagi? Instead of as All Might? Wouldn't it save your time?"

Mr. Yagi stopped and scratched his head. "I hadn't really thought about it before," he admitted. "But part of the reason I took this job, other than wanting to help train the next generation of heroes, of course, is that I want to get people used to the idea that I am going to retire." He tugged on one of his bangs. "Also, ah, I'm not sure if my qualifications to teach are quite up to par without my reputation."

"I'm sure it would be fine! You're the best, after all!"

Mr. Yagi chuckled. "I'm glad you think so," he said. Then he reached behind him and opened a door. "In any case: my office."

"Wow," said Izuku, quietly, stepping in. "All Might's office..." Who knew when he'd get another opportunity like this again? He kept his eyes wide to drink in the details.

The rather sparse details. The office was rather bare. Which made sense, seeing as All Might was a brand-new teacher. It was sort of... disappointing, as thrilling as it was.

Mr. Yagi sat down behind the desk and gestured for Izuku to take one of the other chairs. It had a lot of cushioning. A lot a lot. Izuku sank down into the fluff as Mr. Yagi fiddled with a drawer on his desk. He got the drawer open, and pulled out a notebook. A notebook of the same brand Izuku liked to use, actually.

"Since your experiences with One for All are so different from mine, I thought it might be a good idea to do some research into past holders and take a leaf out of your notebook, as it were." He passed the notebook over to Izuku, who took it with shaking hands and a slightly open mouth.

"I'll treasure it," he declared, voice wobbling.

"Not so much that you don't use it, I hope," said Mr. Yagi. "As it is, it's only an overview. The earlier holders, especially, don't have many records associated with them. Consider it a starting point. I haven't had much time to work on it."

"I can't believe you found the time to write this at all," said Izuku, flipping through the pages. The information was sparse, but each holder had a basic profile, all the way back to the fourth. "I mean, between being a hero, training me, and preparing to be a teacher, I'm stunned nothing fell by the wayside!"

Mr. Yagi proceeded to turn a very interesting color.

"Uh, nothing fell by the wayside, right?"

"Why don't you take a few minutes to skim through. If anything jumps out at you right away, we can talk about it. And then I'll let you go get changed and go home, and we can discuss more later, after you've had more time with it."

"Okay!" said Izuku. He'd start with just the basic profiles. Name, date of birth, date of death, quirk... wait, those ages... "They all died young," he said, softly.

"Hero work is dangerous," said Mr. Yagi, hand going to his side.

"There's something else, isn't there?"

"Not something you need to worry about. I took care of it, years ago." The hand holding his side spasmed slightly.

"... Six years ago?" asked Izuku, aware he was pushing his luck. But this sounded both important and relevant.

There was a long pause. "Yes," said All Might, finally. "A villain with a longevity quirk. He... had a history with the first user."

Izuku got the feeling that was an understatement. It also seemed unlikely that the only application of the villain's quirk was longevity, given what he'd done to All Might. But the subject was clearly making All Might uncomfortable, so he dropped it in favor of burying his nose in the notebook again.

(Social fumbles aside, this was the most secure Izuku had felt for... a while.)

"The sixth user had a smoke quirk?"

"Yes, it seems so. Although it doesn't seem to have been actual smoke, but a biological compound."

"I wonder if that has anything to do with all the steam you release when you deflate. Actually..." he flipped back through the quirk. "I wonder if you're using Float, too, subconsciously, when you jump."

"What?"

"I- I mean," said Izuku, "I noticed, when, um, when I grabbed your ankle and also in videos of you- Your hang time is kind of messed up? You're in the air for longer than you should be, but it isn't, like, consistent? Plus, you can change direction mid-air, which I thought was because you were shooting out blasts of air pressure with your quirk, but with me on your ankle, you definitely didn't do that. There was- there was a forum I was on where some people thought your quirk tapped into magnetic fields, somehow, but that doesn't make any sense, because you'd expect a lot more electronic interference and that similar locations would produce similar results, given the Earth's magnetic field, but they don't. But subconscious, low-level use of a telekinesis-based flying quirk would explain everything. If we take into account what you said about my anxiety after the entrance exam, then that's minor expressions of three out of four of the quirks listed here, not counting the base stockpile and enhancement quirk. Do you think the unknown quirks of the second and third users might have partially manifested for you as well? Have you experienced anything else that's atypical for a strength enhancement quirk?"

Mr. Yagi stared at Izuku.

Oh, no, he'd gone too far.

"Nothing immediately comes to mind, my boy," he said, faintly. "But... magnets? Really?"

"I told you it didn't make any sense."

Mr. Yagi rubbed his chin. "There might be something, but... it's too unclear to say either way. I'll keep an eye out. It's just... a lot to take in. I thought One for All was done surprising me."

"When has it surprised you before?"

"Oh, under the influence of certain mental quirks, you can wind up hallucinating the previous users."

"Hallucinating?"

"Yes. But being under the influence of a mental quirk is always the larger issue, so..."

"Mr. Yagi," said Izuku. "That's really the kind of thing you should let people know about up front."

"I- is it?"

.

The ghosts all stared at Nana.

"Hey, don't blame this on me! None of us explained that kind of stuff before passing One for All on."

"In our defense," said En, half raising a hand, "we were usually dying when we passed it on."

"More importantly," said Hikage, "do you think Ninth is right about the quirks?"

"It would make sense," mused Yoichi. "Although then we'd have to wonder why Blackwhip didn't manifest similarly."

"Is it too much for me to get someone to use my quirk? My extremely awesome quirk, that has no downsides?"

"It is powered almost exclusively by rage."

"No downsides."

"You-"

"No. Downsides."

.

Aizawa passed him an envelope labeled 'quirk counseling' along with the standard schedule and orientation packet he was handing to everyone else. It didn't look like any of his class mates had noticed, though, for which Izuku was grateful. He didn't want to be known as a weirdo who didn't know what his own quirk was.

He heavily suspected he was tapping into Danger Sense, somehow, but he didn't know how, and the fourth user of One for All had lived so long ago there weren't any records of him. Not easily and publicly available. Everything Mr. Yagi had written in his notebook (that Izuku had probably stayed up way too late reading... and texting Mr. Yagi about it... and comparing it to his notes... and texting Mr. Yagi about that... and reviewing old All Might compilations and theory threads... and having Mr. Yagi threaten to call his mom if he didn't go to sleep...) about the fourth user had been retrieved from the journals Mr. Yagi's mentor had passed down, according to one of the source notes in the margin.

(Mr. Yagi had really neat, small handwriting, which Izuku wouldn't have ever expected from his large, dramatic signatures as All Might, and his notes were meticulous and carefully cited. If Izuku didn't know better, he would have thought it belonged to a secretary.)

But despite Izuku's suspicions, he didn't actually know. He didn't know it's range, what it defined as danger, whether or not it 'ranked' dangers, how to distinguish it from normal anxiety, or- Well. Anything, really. And he would really like to.

He opened the envelope quietly. Inside was a handwritten note instructing him to pick one of three schedules for quirk counseling and return it to Aizawa by the end of the day. The other pages were printed, with times and possible locations. Options for both before and after the school day.

Izuku felt his eyes tearing up. This was easily the nicest thing a teacher had ever done for him... Although he was nervous about being alone with Aizawa. Some of his other teachers, when they asked him to stay after class it was... not good.

Nothing bad happened, not like in movies or TV shows or the awareness videos the school had shown sometimes. The teachers didn't hurt him, really, didn't do anything to him, other than talk or yell, mostly, but it still wasn't good.

Maybe he could ask Mr. Yagi or Recovery Girl to sit in... But he already felt bad, taking up so much of their time.

He picked one of the after school schedules. He was already staying late on the other days to work with Mr. Yagi, and if something did go wrong, he wanted to have the night to recover before he had to face Aizawa again in class.

He put it to the side, so he'd remember to give it to Aizawa before he left, then looked over the class schedule. Homeroom, Math, Hero Art History, History, and English in the morning. At least this morning. The history classes alternated with something called Heroics-Applied Science and Hero Law and Ethics. Afternoons, meanwhile, were entirely occupied by Hero Basic Training.

And every class would be taught by a pro hero. He wondered if it would be rude to ask for their autographs...

.

Shouta grunted as Hizashi flopped down onto the couch next to him on the couch in the staff breakroom. "What a morning! I just love seeing all those bright little faces at the beginning of the year. Anyone have a favorite first year yet?"

Shouta kicked Hizashi through his sleeping bag. Sadly, this had no effect on the man.

"I think mine might be the little green guy. He's the only one who was actually paying attention, and you know how rare that is, when everyone is anticipating their first heroics lesson. The rest of us just pale in comparison."

Shouta attempted to kick Hizashi again, this time for an entirely different reason. Midoriya was already All Might's favorite (probably)- he did not need more pull with the staff.

"I know who my least favorite is," said Kan. "Kid's certainly dedicated and competitive, but I wouldn't be surprised if he threatened his middle school teachers into giving him those glowing reviews. His personality needs a lot of work. How did you get Nezu to saddle me with Bakugo, anyway, Eraser?"

"I had nothing to do with it."

"Don't give me that, I was going to have Monoma. At least he's a team player."

"You're being illogical," said Shouta, zipping his sleeping bag closed over his face.

"How about you, Nemuri?" asked Hizashi, cutting off Vlad King vs Eraserhead round five hundred.

"It's hard to choose! They're all so cute and eager! Full of the passion of youth! I think they're all my favorite."

"You always say that..."

The door opened and closed.

"All Might! What about you? Any favorites yet?"

Yagi coughed. "I've only had the one class of third years so far. Don't you think that's rather... premature?"

What an incredible nonanswer.

"How did that first class of yours go, anyway? They didn't sour you to the whole idea of teaching, did they?"

"Not at all! The students were wonderful. The third years are very advanced, aren't they? For some of them, I wouldn't be shocked to see that skill level on an active sidekick."

"What can I say? We start them off right," crowed Hizashi.

"They did seem a little surprised by the scenario, however."

"So was I, t'be honest," said Snipe, who was in charge of the third years.

"Ah, was it no good...?"

"It was fine. Lesson plan was a bit rough around the edges, but you and Nezu'll be goin' over that later. But... quirk traffickin' doesn't quite seem like your thing."

"Ah, well, set-pieces," he said, using the slightly derisive underground slang for large-scale spotlight hero battles, "may be what I'm known for, but before my injury, the majority of my battles and investigations weren't publicized."

"Shield laws?" asked Nemuri.

"Generally, yes, but some of the investigations were tied to others, so we were using the organized crime secrecy laws to keep those under wraps. Simply put, my popularity isn't the only reason I keep the number one spot despite Endeavor having more completed cases than me on paper."

Shouta had known there was more to All Might than 'punchy, over-the-top, eyestrain-causing, bombastic muscle guy,' but part of his stupid, illogical brain was annoyed at Yagi for pummeling that image into imaginary dust, anyway. It seemed like the man's only two flaws were horrible interpersonal skills when not using his public persona, and his vast suite of health issues, the latter of which all heroes who operated long enough picked up.

Oh, and a possible inclination towards bribery.

Made it hard to dislike him, which Shouta wanted to do, because he was loud, flashy, and gave him headaches, literal and metaphorical. He ignored the fact that Hizashi was the same way, and had forcibly become Shouta's best friend. Clearly, there was no connection here.

"By the way, why is young Aizawa completely zipped in like that?"

"Nap time," said Hizashi, solemnly.

.

"Sir?" said Iida, raising his hand.

"Yes, young man?" boomed All Might.

"There are nineteen of us. How are we handling the odd person out?"

"Excellent question! In other exercises, we may handle it differently, but for today, one of you will be working alone! Occasionally, a hero may find themselves isolated when they originally expected help. However, for better balance, I have also arranged it so the odd hero out will be taking part in the last battle, so you'll have more time to strategize!"

But the other team would also have more time to strategize, Izuku noted. He really hoped it wouldn't be him... not that he wanted to force it on any if his classmates! He just didn't want yet another handicap on the first day of training.

All Might walked around with the box of ballots, pausing for each student to take one. He reached Izuku and held the box out to him with a wink. Izuku smiled back, reached in, and grabbed one.

A chill ran up his back and he froze, fingers wrapped tightly around the little ball. Something told him this was definitely the cursed, single-person ballot. Could he let it go? Would it be considered cheating if he picked a new one?

But All Might was already walking away. Every part of his body tense, Izuku turned his hand over and forced his fingers apart.

J.

The tenth character of the Latin alphabet. For the tenth, last, team.

He watched as everyone else started to pair up, and All Might looked at him apologetically.

Izuku approximated a smile. Plus ultra, right?

[blushing-titan]

My thoughts on ch. 139

Some of you may be familiar with my previous writings - I usually try to stay as collected as possible, but today's post will be different. Ever since the chapter came out, I've been reblogging a lot of rants and memes about it. Those of you who follow my blog (thank you so much, really happy to have you here! ❤) know that I didn't really enjoy this ending. I want to elaborate more on that in this post - my only advice is to buckle up, because today we may get a bit heated (I apologize in advance for the sassy approach - I usually try to stray away from that, but guess today's post is more of a stream of conciousness/rant) :'D

1. Ymir

Starting up with one of the most controversial things about this chapter. Up to this point, I felt really bad for Ymir. Her life was terrible - she was a young girl, who was enslaved and abused by king Shitz Fritz. After she was forced to run away from his hounds, she acquired the power of titans and used it to help the king's cause. For that, she was awarded with the king's seed (🤢), and eventually became a mother of three girls. Through her entire life, she was treated as a slave and a lesser-being by the king - she also died while protecting him, and her daughters were forced to eat her remains after that (🤢🤢).

It felt so tragic to see her 2000 years later, still walking blindly in the paths. It wasn't enough that she was hurt so badly when she was still alive - she remained enslaved to the abusive king even after she died. I was rooting for her to finally be freed from this nightmare - hence I was so happy when ch. 122 came out and we got this scene:

I was genuinely emotional when I saw her reaction. Finally, someone expressed some authentic care for her and tried to snap her out of this blind state. She would finally think about what she wants and try to free herself from the paths because, as Eren said, she was never a slave or a goddess - just a regular person. It's just like she finally let out all the pain that she's been suppressing for all these years.

Yeah...except, as it turns out, her awakening here changes nothing. She doesn't come to any conclusions, like, perhaps, that she doesn’t want to let herself be hurt and mistreated any longer...or that she should fight for herself, try to change her fate - because, after all, her life belongs to her - not anyone else.

Nothing like this happens. Why? Because, as it turns out, she's in love with king Fritz and needs to be proven by Mikasa that she can break this bond first.

....

💀💀💀💀

Excuse me, but...what?

Okay, first and foremost...am I supposed to believe that, during these 2000 years, no one else has gone against their unhealthy affection to someone toxic and unworthy of their love? No one? 🤡 Come on, we even saw that happen in the manga. What about Historia, who thought that her own mother hitting her was a sign of love? Who wanted to believe that her father was good, despite wanting to turn her into a titan? Where was Ymir when Historia stood up for herself against her father's wishes? Or when she flew up to him and delivered the final blow against him?

On top of that...what a disappointing conclusion to Ymir's story. I hoped that she would take her fate into her own hands, and - for example - be reborn and experience life as a free person, surrounded by people who actually care about her. Free herself from paths and destroy it - not because someone shows her that she can indeed detach herself from it, but simply because she wants to.

Instead, 80% of the world population is gone, because she needed to see that Mikasa is able to "free" herself from Eren in order to do the same.

🤡🤡🤡

2. Abandoned plotlines and plot-holes

Mikasa being a Hizuru princess? Never heard of that. Hallucigenia's fate? Who cares. Eren directing Dina's titan in Carla's direction in order to save Berthold? Nah, who would want any more info on that - guess he just couldn't direct her anywhere else. The Ackerman's headaches? Pfff. The fact that Mikasa shouldn't be affected by the memory altering, but somehow still is in the ending? "I guess she just forgot that she should be immune to this". Why was Historia's pregnancy implied as relevant if it wasn't in the end? So many precious panels wasted on that, when they could be used to help solve some other "unanswered questions" instead. Ehhh...🤷

3. Blatant character assassination

There, I'm saying it once again. I have no idea what happened in this chapter but the characters are off. What about Eren - the one who has always believed that freedom was his birthright, and has been fighting and moving forward for his goals? Yeah, turns out he has no idea why he was doing all of that. 

Remember Kenny's quote - everyone is a slave to something? I thought that this implication was pretty poetic in context of Eren's character. Through all his life, he sought freedom, but ironically, he was a slave to that dream...

...turns out it may have been a bit too poetic for this story because Eren is a slave to destiny. Literally - he's going on auto-pilot in order to reach that one moment in which Mikasa beheads him, so Ymir can watch and understand that she can do the same.

Nice joke...except not. Here go our main character's motivations 🗑

He casually commits unjustifiable crimes against humanity - not because he wants to be free or because he found the world beyond the walls disappointing, (...as we were led to believe). He did that because he doesn't know why - and then, he cries that he doesn't want Mikasa to ever find another guy.

:'))

Turns out Eren was somehow always in love with her too...? Yeah, weird way of showing it. Or should I say - not showing it at all.

If you read my previous writings, you know that I'm not very fond of Eremika. The way I interpreted it while reading the story: it was unhealthy, suffocating and one-sided. I hoped for Mikasa to move on and start thinking about herself for once.

Right, what about Mikasa? Has she finally moved on? Is she content with her life? Are her dreams coming true? What's her daily life after all this? Sadly, I don't have the answers. The thing we are shown instead, is how she's sitting next to Eren's grave and, once again, thanking him for wraping the scarf around her. The only thing that implies that she may be somehow still seeing other people is one bubble of text. After all 139 chapters of hoping for her character developement, that's it.

Keep in mind that all other characters are shown together - with their spouses, families and friends - yet Mikasa is still separated and alone. That's right - after she disappears with Eren's head, she's not shown with anyone else until the end of the manga.

While we're on the topic of others, too...do I have to talk about the scenes in which everyone shows some level of gratitude to Eren...for wiping 80% humanity for them? Because I have no words for this.

One last note: I found the humor to be slightly out of place, too. Seriously, after all these terrible events, with so many unanswered questions and character developement of these two...Reiner is still weirdly simping for (now married) Historia and Jean is called a horse face :') Idk, but it feels somehow surreal after everything that's happened.

4. Conclusion

What else can I say...the final chapter disappointed me and I'm pretty sad about it. I'm happy for the people who liked it, but also can't help but feel like it was very far from perfect. I've been following SnK ever since 2013 and it's a bittersweet moment for me. The series had a lot of amazing moments that I'll definitely remember forever. Meanwhile, I would like to read some of the author's thoughts about the way he chose to end the story - perhaps it would clear some confusion (...although I can't help the fact that my first opinion is already formed).

Thank you very much for reading my thoughts - as always, it means a lot to me! ❤ The images used in this post are obviously not mine!

[detectivereyes]

I Want to Hold You Like You’re Mine

Summary: TK gets lonely in the ER.

Notes: idk if anyone is going to really read this because everyone is kinda distracted with the new episode and the promo for next week but yeah. this idea wouldn’t leave my head so now you get to read it too.

title from “agnes” by glass animals 

beta’d by @marjansmarwani

read on ao3

Watching the bustling waiting room, TK nervously twiddles his thumbs. He’s spent far too much time getting to know the emergency room at St. David’s that when he closes his eyes, he can picture the entire layout.

And yet, he somehow found himself back here again.

It wasn’t exactly his fault though. Granted, he could have been a little more careful going up the ladder on the truck. But the situation was getting urgent and he was so focused on getting to the top of the ladder that he didn’t even notice when his right foot got caught on one of the rungs and twisted his ankle in the wrong direction.

Which is how he ended up sitting in the waiting room yet again, his right ankle elevated on the chair across from him and the now melted ice pack resting on the swollen joint. He knows that he could just ask someone for a new one, but he’s been here long enough that they should be calling his name any moment now.

However as the minutes tick on, he gets more and more restless, and he wishes that there was someone here to talk to and take his mind off the persistent ache in his ankle. There had been some discussion about someone from his team staying with him but he had insisted that there was no real reason for the team to be two members down for something as minor as what’s probably only a sprained ankle. And of course, the 126 was called to another scene before it could be discussed further.

After Tommy dropped him off at the ER entrance, he thought he would be okay. However, on this abnormally busy day at the hospital, he only gets lonelier as he waits for his name to be called.

His loneliness getting the best of him, he pulls his phone out of his pocket and shoots a quick text to Carlos.

TK: are you busy?

He doesn’t even have shut the messages app before he sees the typing dots appear on his text thread.

Carlos: I’m on a call right now, but I can call you in a few minutes?

Of course. TK knew Carlos was working today, he should have known better than to bother him.

TK: nevermind, forgot you were on shift. it’s okay. 

He shuts off the device, only for it to light up again with Carlos’ name in the call ID. TK frowns, hitting the red decline button. His boyfriend should be focusing on his job, not needing to worry about how accident prone TK is.

His phone lights up again, and he declines it again.

By the third time it lights up, TK sighs in resignation and presses the green accept button.

“Hey Carlos,” TK greets with his best cheery voice and fake smile.

“TK, you denied my call twice. You do not get to ‘hey Carlos’ me. What’s going on?”

“It’s nothing, I forgot you were working today,” TK answers quickly. “I can talk to you later”

“It’s clearly something. Just tell me TK,” Carlos says, pausing while he waits for TK to answer. 

TK wonders if it’s worth it to explain the situation to his boyfriend. He knows that as soon as he tells him, that the other man will drop everything to come be by his side. And while the companionship would be welcome, he would feel guilty pulling Carlos away from his job.

Unfortunately, he waits too long to answer and Carlos speaks up again. “Wait, aren’t you on shift today too?”

“Well, yeah..”

“TK, where are you?” he firmly asks.

TK can tell he’s beginning to put the pieces together. The ambient noises of the waiting room are no doubt filtering through his phones speaker, not to mention the red flags it raises that TK is calling him while on shift to begin with.

“That’s not really relevant,” he says, trying to shift away from the topic.

“You’re at the hospital, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“Shit, TK. Okay,” Carlos says, and TK can hear him mumble something in the background before coming back to the phone. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“That’s not really necessary,” TK tries to wave him off before Carlos cuts him off.

“Is anyone with you?”

“No,” he trails off.

“Then I’m coming.”

TK smiles to himself. He knows at this point there’s no talking Carlos out of it, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t looking forward to seeing the other man. “Okay, I’m still in the waiting room.”

“See you soon.”

The call disconnects, and TK cycles through the apps on his phone while he waits for Carlos to arrive, periodically looking up at the sliding glass doors of the emergency room entrance.

Eventually, Carlos does make his appearance in the waiting room, still in uniform and face flushed as he scans the area before meeting TK’s eye.

TK gives him a little wave and small smile, greeting his boyfriend with a kiss when Carlos takes a seat next to him.

“Hey, what happened?” Carlos asks, trying to mask the concern in his voice but TK still picks up on it.

TK explains the situation, watching as Carlos’ eyebrows furrow in worry as he processes the story. When TK finishes, Carlos smirks a little before speaking up. “I thought you making the transition to being a paramedic was supposed to be less dangerous.”

“It’s not my fault they needed a medic up there, and I have more experience on the ladder than Tommy or Nancy.”

“Clearly,” Carlos stifles a laugh, gesturing to TK’s ankle while the other man gently swats him. Leaning down, Carlos removes the ice pack to further inspect the swollen joint. “TK, this ice pack isn’t very cold.”

“Yeah, I’ve been here a while,” he shrugs.

Carlos presses his lips together, before getting up, ice pack in hand, and making his way over to the reception desk. TK watches as the other man exchanges a few words with the nurse sitting at the desk. After their brief exchange, Carlos returns with a fresh ice pack which he places gently on TK’s ankle.

“The nurse says they should be calling you back next,” he says with a smile.

“Thank you,” TK says softly, returning the smile.

True to his word, just a few minutes later his name is called and Carlos is helping him transition into a wheelchair to be wheeled back to an exam room. 

After being poked and prodded, and an x-ray just to confirm it’s nothing more major, the doctor verifies Tommy’s initial diagnosis that it’s just a bad sprain. He’s given a sturdy black brace, a pair of silver crutches, and strict instructions to take the next few weeks off work.

That last note causes a pout to settle on TK’s face as the doctor exits the exam room. 

“Hey,” Carlos catches his attention, rest his hand on top of TK’s own. “It’ll be fine. Tommy will understand.”

“I’ve barely been on the job for a week, and I already have to call out. Not a great reflection.”

“Well she’s been working out your house for a few months, so I think she knows to expect that her newest paramedic is also a danger magnet,” Carlos chuckles.

“Yeah, I guess,” TK sighs.

Carlos gently runs his hand through TK’s hair, knowing that it calms the other man down. “You ready to get out of here?”

TK nods. “Can you just drop me off back at the station?”

“I thought I would just take you home. You should probably rest and ice your ankle a little more.”

“There’s ice at the station,” TK says with a mischievous grin, only to be met with Carlos’ unwavering expression. “I just would rather be around the team that sitting at home alone while you finish your shift.”

“TK, my shift ended 30 minutes ago.”

“Shit, Carlos,” he looks up meeting the other man's eye. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for you to get pulled away for this long. I hope you don’t get into trouble.” “It’s fine, I told my captain what was going on after you called and she let me go. I wasn’t planning on going back anyway.”

TK smiles, wondering how he got so lucky to have a boyfriend this caring that he really would drop everything to spend a few long hours in the emergency room with him. 

“Now, why don’t we get out of here, yeah?”

He nods eagerly, letting Carlos help him off the bed and graciously accepting the crutches the other man hands to him. “Thank you,” he whispers to Carlos with a smile, before making their way out of the hospital.

[imo-chan-imagines]

『 As your boyfriend | BNHA Headcanons 』

From the good, to the bad, to the downright adorable.

Characters: female!reader, Aizawa Shouta

Tags/warnings: Boku No Hero Academia (anime), 18+, explicit descriptions of sex, smut, fluff, soft dom Aizawa, relationship, headcanons

⚠️ 18+ CONTENT! MINORS: PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT ⚠️

A/N: Right, so I'm simping for this man biG TIME, but I'm only on season 3, so no spoilers or anything, please. This is my first BNHA post (and it turned out way longer than I was intending 😅) Please let me know if you want more in the future!

Also, I have a repetitive strain injury, so typing stuff is taking a while at the moment. Sorry about that. Thanks for reading! Please enjoy ♡ ~Imo

☆ Aizawa Shouta ☆

I'm not going to lie. Shouta can be a big ol' grouchy pants sometimes, and it's basically impossible to win an argument against him makes you want to tear your hair out, sometimes

But most of the time, he's just tired and in pain, and he doesn't mean to be so crotchety

He's not the type to make excuses, though. That's childish. He means his apologies, even if they're simple

He'll normally initiate an apology by gently wrapping his arms around you from behind and resting his forehead on your shoulder 🥺

Physical contact is incredibly personal and intimate for him. He doesn't just touch anyone, or allow them to touch him

You're special 💞💫

Soft, gentle touches, like his fingers interlacing with yours, or his leg brushing up against you, are basically his way of saying 'I love you'

Catch me crying in the corner, a'ight? 😔

He rarely ever raises his voice. Like, ever he doesn't need to, and is aware that it can be scary

He's definitely the kind of guy to forget to tell people that you're dating, simply because he doesn't see how it's relevant or anyone else's business 🤦‍♀️

I mean, he ain't wrong, but–

And his mood switches between 'antisocial' and 'clingy' like a mechanical metronome did someone say 'cat'?

Sometimes, you'll be lucky if he speaks more than three words to you together in a whole day nothing personal 🤷‍♀️

But on other days, he literally won't let you out of his arms for the world he's complicated, okay?

You have missed many a parcel delivery because he wouldn't let you get up from his lap to answer the door 🙄😂

Boundaries and responsibilities are key and highly respected by Shouta, and he would NEVER erase your quirk without your permission, unless he literally had no other choice like someone's going to get hurt, or something

Is generally quite serious so what's new? but you're one of the few people he can relax around when he feels like it

9/10 of his jokes are dad jokes 😎 hell yeah

Takes a hard stance in financial debates, but is constantly broke af 😶 says he'll buy you dinner and presents you with some instant noodles with a 'Reduced To Clear' sticker on them

Will take a bite of your food/steal some off your plate without asking, and literally say nothing to defend himself #gremlin

Is incredibly shy and uncomfortable about being ~le horny~ until you've been together for literally forever

Even then, he's still shy about it when he has to bring it up and it's pretty cute, let me tell ya

It took him forever to admit to you that he gets turned on when you eat ice lollies

Guess what you do whenever you want to mess with him like a little brat 😛

But if he's in the mood, he will 100% whisper something dirty in your ear, even if you're completely alone and probably well past third base

He does it because he knows your pussy will clamp around him at the sound of his voice 😳🥵

*fans self profusely*

Genuine, unadulterated smiles are rare with Aizawa, but when he does 🙌 Heaven hath opened its gates and allowed an angel walk amongst mere mortals 🥺🤧

If he lays his head on your chest, he will fall asleep like that *snaps fingers*

Surprise nose and forehead kisses to show he loves you ❤

Calls you 'Kitten' this is basically already canon at this point

And he's all about those deep talks with you at 3 am when he can't sleep

Speaking of insomnia!

It's cheesy, but you're like a soothing balm. The warmth of your body makes him feel safe, your touch helps him relax, and your voice soothes him to sleep

He's never slept as well as when you're beside him 😭🤧

When cuddling, he likes to be the big spoon but will accept being the little spoon if you if you press your boobs against his back and ask really nicely 🤭

And he loves you stroking his hair and running your fingers through it 🥺

Netlix nights and pillow/blanket forts!!

Rainy days are a godsend. Staying inside all day under the blankets, with the soft sound of the rain falling outside and no-one to interrupt you – literal paradise

He makes mean hot cocoas and Irish coffees 😋 I feel like this man lives off Irish coffees 😂🤣

Wears a lot of black and grey sweatpants at home 😗 which highlight the outline of his dick just right, if ya know what I'm sayin' 👀

Doesn't like going out for dates and prefers staying inside and doing stuff together same, honeyy

But if you really like going out, he will somewhat begrudgingly agree to it and get all dressed up for you, just so long as he gets his fair share of home-dates, too 🤗

But if you also don't like going out... the two of you will basically never leave the house, except to get groceries in your pyjamas from the 24-hour convenience store down the road at one in the morning oddly specific, I know, but you get me

And sorry, but I don't make the rules

Well, actually, I do. But shush

We all know that Shouta cleans up *chef's kiss* So when you go somewhere ~fancy~ he always looks so damn fine 😩

But he has very little idea that he's hot he sees himself as a tired, walking dumpster fire🚶‍♂️🔥

Shouta will 100% turn into a crazy cat dude with 15+ cats if you don't stop him I never said you should, though 🙃

And is a 'minimalist texter' – basically, if he can't answer a text with 'yes', 'no,' 'maybe', or 'OK', then he probably won't answer it at all 😭😂

Especially if you try and sext him or send him your nudes while he's at work. He'll probably lecture you when he gets home and depending on just how much you turned him on, he might proceed to teach you a lesson...

But wear his shirt, and just his shirt or his hoodie and he's yours

Heart eyes, motherfucker 😍

And, depending on how you two are feeling that day, you may or may not end up getting dicked down on the nearest semi-flat surface right then and there 👀

But don't misunderstand. This is an incredibly tired man you have here, and his libido actually isn't through the roof sorry, ladies so this kind of thing isn't an everyday occurrence

But when he dicks you down, he dicks you down goooood

Shouta's not big on PDA, but makes up for it in private. We're talking hands and kisses all over your body he leaves nothing unloved 😏

And while he's not big on PDA, he is big on sneaky displays of affection or 'SDA', as I like to call it

Like subtly grabbing your butt for a second, or his hand on your thigh under the table at a dinner etc. especially around other people

But what really gets him going is slowly removing your clothes and taking you fully naked, spreading your legs wide and holding them open he likes the view 😍

He lowkey highkey worships your body 🙏 and will literally not shut up about how fucking pretty you are, and how fucking good it feels inside you his words, not mine 😳

Groans and growls a little when he's getting close/cumming especially when he's being a little rough and likes to cum together, but knows it's not always practical

He tends to be a gentle dom, but can get just a teensy bit 🤏 rough if he's too into it – but nothing outrageous

We're talking rough thrusts and a brutal pace, maybe holding onto you a little too hard and, waaahh, he gets so embarrassed if he leaves bruises

Is also into a little bondage, but again, only light stuff – restraining your wrists with his hands or his tie or his Capturing Weapon 👀 maybe blinding-folding you if you're okay with it

If you're not blindfolded, then I'm afraid he's all about that eye contact

Eating out your pussy? Eye contact. Pounding you into the mattress? Blazing eye contact. Rearranging your guts in front of the mirror? Fucking eye contact

And CONSENT, BABY. THAT'S WHAT HE'S FUCKING INTO 😌🙌💞

But all jokes aside – he's too used to taking without consent with his quirk, that he's kind of paranoid about it comes to sex but it's adorable and sweet, and honestly, still kind of hot

And speaking of eating pussy – goddamn does he like to please you. Like cream to a kitty 😛

Oh, and he just loves it when you suck on his fingers as he's pounding into you 🤤

And he likes to leave love bites in personal, inconspicuous places and sometimes on your neck

He's marking his woman 😌

When he gets suuuper horny, he likes to fuck you from behind, standing upright in front of the mirror. It's a specific kink he has of watching himself stretch you out as the length of his cock disappears inside you...

I can get behind that, lemme tell yaaa

I said he tends to be dominant, but female doms – fear not!

Shouta is quite flexible when it comes down to it and is kind of lazy, lmfao so he definitely has time for laying back, having the control taken away, and having his dick ridden

For him, it's really all about communication and what you're both comfortable with

I will say this, though: sometimes, his cat watches you while you're banging 😅😂

The first time it happened, you freaked out and refused to continue because – how could you??? But eventually, you just kind of got used to it 🤷‍♀️

The same way you've got used to it following you to the bathroom every time you go to take a shit 😭

So now, you just kind of laugh about it, which helps keep things a little lighter 🤗

After sex, he does like to snuggle, but you'll be lucky if he stays awake for more than 30 seconds it's one of the few times he actually can sleep well

If you're ever out and about, or even inside, and cold, he'll wrap you up in his clothes/scarf/blanket like a sushi roll like Eren wrapping up Mikasa in his scarf, all deadpan and everything 😐

It's not that often, but when he gets drunk, he gets all soft and emotional, and starts babbling about how he can't believe he got so lucky to be dating you, and that he's sure he hasn't done anything to deserve it mah heart

He's pretty sure he wants kids, but he doesn't feel like now is the right time, and is lowkey afraid that it's never going to feel like the right time

He also constantly doubts himself, wondering if he'd actually able to look after them and protect them the way a father should class 1-A got him second-guessing himself 🥺

Besides, it's not all about him. You clearly have a say in it too, and he doesn't want to force you into anything

Again: communication and comfort zones

Dating Aizawa definitely has its ups and downs, and it's not smooth sailing, but he's prepared to work for a life with you because he's found a connection with you that he hasn't feel with anyone else

He knows that you're both far from perfect, but hopes that, for once, you might just make something good, and make it last 🥰😇

© imo-chan-imagines 2020

[theresnosinlondon]

Don’t Do It For Me - h.s. (part 2)

The one where Harry’s still kind of a friend and more complications occur. (2.4k)

Quite a short part 2. Anyone want part 3? xx

Part 1

The Green Leaf café at 8:30 am tomorrow? x

I wasn’t sure if I was expecting his text or not. The half plan was made before we were drunk and before the mess that ensued later that evening.

I remembered everything, which, sure, reminded me to sort out a plan B pill because the last thing I needed to happen was to get pregnant from a drunken hook up with a famous friend who was in a relationship with someone else, but it also drove me to give useless, mean glares to the spot on my couch we were perched on for a short few minutes.

As bitter as it made me, I had to face the fact that yes, I was a single woman who was technically free to hook up with whoever I pleased, but I, nonetheless, participated in cheating on Jess. I didn’t know how Harry felt after he left, as there has been radio silence between us, until he texted me Sunday evening, confirming the plans for the next morning.

See you then.

I wanted for him to get the hint that we needed to talk about it.

——

Unexpectedly, Harry arrived at the cafe first. He was usually the one that showed up at least ten minutes late to any kind of gathering.

I pushed the door open and made my way to the table he usually occupied whenever he visited the little cafe. Setting my handbag on the circular table, I made eye contact with him and, noting the absence of any kind of beverage, I spoke up. “The usual?”

His eyes held my gaze for a few, long seconds, an unreadable expression on his face. “I’ve ordered for us already, they’ll bring our drinks to the table.”

Harry’s voice was as monotone as his expression. I pulled back the chair across from his and took a seat, sliding my phone in my bag and hanging it on the back of my chair.

Heaving a sigh I addressed him. “Thanks.” I nodded, keeping my gaze on the table.

“How are you?” He leaned his elbows on the wooden surface and linked his hands, thumbs rolling the rings on his knuckles. “I’m sorry I haven’t reached out.”

“I think we should cut the chit chat off. You’ve had two days to sit on it, so what are you thinking now?” My patience was wearing thin and the meaningless small talk was not getting us anywhere.

He pursed his lips, bringing his stare to mine and mulling over his answer. “I honestly don’t know.” He rubbed a and down his face. “Jess came back last night, asked to have dinner, but I couldn’t even think about looking her in the eyes, knowing what I’ve done.”

“What we have done.” I corrected him. “As much as I regret what happened, we were both consensual. But what I want to know is what are you going to do now. Are you going to tell her?”

Harry’s eyes widened and he bit his bottom lip. “I should..” his voice trailed off as if he just started thinking about the repercussions of our actions. “Are you on birth control?”

“No, but I've sorted myself out, don't worry.” Took him long enough to remember we had unprotected sex.

“I’m so sorry, I should've asked you sooner.” His furrowed brows and guilty expression didn't faze me, I was looking after myself and my future. I was not ready for a messy pregnancy. “And I promise, I'm clean.”

“Yeah, same.” I gave him a tight smile. “So, are you going to tell Jess?”

He groaned, closing his eyes and massaging his temple as if a headache was soon to take over his head.

I knew I was being a hypocrite, going against everything I’ve been preaching for the longest time, but seeing the anguish on his face and realising that it might’ve really just been a fluke in his judgment, I gave the advice I never thought I would.

“Maybe you shouldn’t.”

The look of surprise would’ve been entertaining and made me laugh, hadn’t the situation been a complete shit show. “What?”

“Do you still want to be with her? Do you genuinely regret what happened? Do you love her?” I fired off the relevant questions.

“I mean..” His voice sounded unsure, so I gave him a stern look, encouraging him to snap out of it. “I..”

“Harry, for fuck’s sake!” I leaned in, trying to keep my voice down. “I'm trying to help you out here!”

“I know, I just.. I don't know.” His timid voice said.

I blinked at him, completely bewildered by his sudden reluctance. “Have you guys been having issues?”.

“No, but we've been together less than a year and it feels like we're stuck in the same routine. I don't see us moving much forward with it, to be completely honest.” Harry huffed as if a weight has been lifted off his chest. “I don't think I see a future with Jess.”

“So, you're essentially wasting both of your time?” I couldn't help but frown at him. One of the qualities I've picked up about Harry’s personality is that he would never settle to do something he didn't want to - in his personal life, at least.

“What if I'm just not meant to be in a relationship?” His gaze stayed glued to the table.

“What now?”

“I mean, I've always thought of myself as a relationship type of person. But what if I'm just not?” His eyes connected with mine with a certain intensity that left me confused. “Here I am, with a perfectly fine relationship and at the first opportunity, I go and sleep with someone else.”

I knew I shouldn't have taken it personally. Someone else. He didn't mean it in a dismissive, impersonal way, but it still stung. So I took a deep breath, glanced at the ceiling and thanked the waiter who brought our coffees to the table.

“That sounds like a dilemma you'll have to sort on your own, mate.” Was the best thing I could think to say.

His dejected look made me rethink my statement.

“Look, I honestly thought you were happy with Jess. You get along and seem to have a very effortless relationship. You saying what you said just really surprised me.” I reached out and held my forgotten iced coffee. “Don’t blame your relationship for what happened. I guess we just chose to be two complete assholes that night.”

Harry’s chuckle made me smile. “Do you think I should tell her?”

“No.”

His raised eyebrows prompted me to continue.

“Usually, my first reaction would be to bully you into telling her, but if you're going to stay with her and see where the relationship is going, then I guess we can keep this between us and forget about it.”

His mouth pursed, his own hands stretched and engulfed his espresso with one hand, bringing it closer but made no move to take a sip. “Do you think I should stay with her?”

I didn't want to read too much into his question, but I couldn't help and wonder where all these doubts about his relationship came from. “She’s really nice, you'd be stupid to let her go.” I meant it wholeheartedly. “Now, I have to get going ‘cause I haven't started packing yet and I have to leave for the airport in a few hours.”

His hand shot out and held my wrist when I moved to stand, successfully keeping me in place, still sat across from him. His lips were pursed, eyebrows pinched and fingers warm on my skin. “Do you mind if I tag along? I can offer my excellent packing services.”

“I have literally witnessed you throw your belongings in a duffle bag one hour before your scheduled flight.” I managed to recover from his mood swings just enough to give the cheeky answer. “Plus, I think you should go and spend some time with Jess.”

He sighed as if done with the conversation. “She’s at work right now, I'll speak to her later tonight.” He downed his espresso and stood. “C’mon, let's go.”

——

My bedroom’s small chandelier was very dusty. Like, that kind of layer of dust that would probably fly everywhere if hit by a gust of wind. I needed to spring clean after coming back from visiting my family. I had to remember to pack the present I got for my nephews birthday on Saturday. That, and the mango flavoured candle to add to my mum’s collection.

My thoughts were interrupted by a kiss placed on my bare shoulder. My bare shoulder, connected to the rest of my naked body, only covered by my duvet. The duvet that was also covering Harry’s lower half. Harry’s naked lower half.

I was stupid. So, so, so stupid. But I was also only human and he was very cheeky, but also very physically close and one too many touches to my arm, my lower back, a stroke to his bicep, his chest. Suddenly we were in my bed.

At least we remembered to use a condom this time.

“Hey,” he whispered against my skin, followed by yet another peck. “We should finish packing.”

I let out of a breath I didn't realise I was holding, bit my lip and closed my eyes, holding the duvet to my chest. “Yes.”

“Do you regret it?”

“Of course I regret it, H. I've been cheated on before, it's not a great feeling. My morals are kicking my ass right about now.” Turning away from him, I sat at the edge of the mattress and reached for some clothes, slipping them on. I kept my back to him and heard him huff out a breath.

“I’m breaking up with her when I see her tonight.”

When I turned my head towards him, he was lying flat on his back, lower half still haphazardly covered by my duvet, eyes fixated on the ceiling - probably noticing the dust on the tiny chandelier.

“What?” I hooked one leg on the mattress to face him better. “Why?”

The guilt I felt before has tripled in size and I couldn’t help the feeling of dread at having aided him in making the decision.

“I thought about it on my way home after your birthday, then I was almost certain after our talk at the cafe. Now it’s just obvious. I can’t stay in a relationship after having cheated on her twice.” His tone was calm but his face was pensive.”It’s not fair to her.”

“I get it.” I felt selfish for asking, but I had to know if I had to steer clear of Jess for the foreseeable future. “Are you going to tell her the truth?”

“Some of it.” My eyes widened in fear, but then relaxed when he continued talking. “I’ll tell her how I don’t see it working, and that I want to concentrate on my work more for now.”

“That’s such a bullshit reason and you know it. You don’t have to be single to concentrate on work.”

“It’s all I could come up with.” He shrugged as if coming up with another reason why he wants to break up with his girlfriend didn’t matter to him. “At least we wouldn’t feel guilty doing this anymore.”

That got my attention. I frowned, hoping I understood him wrong. “Huh?”

“Well, I quite enjoy this thing between us.” He peered at me, taking in my unamused expression. “Don’t you?”

My thoughts were officially jumbled and I struggled to wrap my head around the fact that he’s including me in the reasons why he wants to break up with Jess.

“At the risk of sounding self-centred,” I made sure we were making strong eye contact, for him to understand how serious I was being. “Don’t do it for me.”

A moment of silence stretched between us, eyes still locked and his eyebrows raised slightly.

“At the risk of sounding like a dick,” he started. “I’m genuinely not.”

I blinked, kind of relieved. “Right.” I nodded. It was sort of presumptuous to think he would end a relationship for me.

“I meant what I said. Jess and I had a good time, but it never turned serious. I never met her family and she only met Gemma because she lives in London and I see her often.” He raised one shoulder in half a shrug. “I miss that specific type of connection with her.”

“Your timing is shit.” I chuckled. “Could’ve realised all of that before cheating on her.”

I stood up and headed to my closet, picking up clothes I wanted to pack. And carefully organised them in the suitcase, conscious of the time ticking by way too fast.

“Are you hungry?” Harry’s voice popped up, completely ignoring my last comment. His eyes were focused on his phone. “I can order some lunch?”

Glancing at the clock, I mentally sectioned off the time I needed to get to the airport, check-in my luggage, go through security, with ample time to browse the duty-free section. “Yeah, food would be great, thanks.”

“Food would be great.” He snickered, mocking me. “I always forget that English isn't your first language.”

“I didn’t say anything wrong.” I frowned at him - I took jabs at my knowledge of the English language very seriously. “Did I?”

He chuckled and shook his head at me. “You’re cute.” He really didn’t have to be so flirty. “Fancy a poke bowl? Salmon?”

“Ooh, yes, please!”

——

“Right, thanks for the coffee, lunch and the lack of help packing.” I flashed Harry a sarcastic smile as we stood by the door of my house, my Uber being three minutes away.

“Anytime.” He chuckled. “Have a great time with your family and send me pictures that will make me jealous. I’ll see you when you’re back, I guess.”

“Thank you, will do and yes.” I stepped towards him and wrapped my arms around his middle, him hugging my shoulders and placing a kiss on the top of my head. “Take care of yourself, please.”

We broke the hug as the Toyota Prius pulled up on the curb. Blocking my view of the car, Harry stepped in front of me, taking a step forward, he cornered me against my front door. I looked at him, confused until he leaned into me and pecked my parted lips. A quick, but strong kiss that left me bewildered, but regretfully wanting more as well.

I bit my lip and rolled my eyes at his cheeky smile. The bastard knew what he was doing.

I walked past him, suitcase in tow and with a quick goodbye to Harry, I boarded the Uber.

Part 3

[dinopopduck]

Ezekiel Only Being Unaffected By Certain Kinds of Magic

Let’s just start with me saying this isn’t exactly a new theory. It’s the demigod thing, and it’s a fairly popular one. If you haven’t heard of this headcannon, I put as much as I can find here. If you have, I found a bunch of new stuff that I haven’t seen anyone else mention, so reading this isn’t a complete waste of your time, I hope.

I tried to keep this from becoming wordy, but it got really long anyway, because there was a lot to talk about here.

Ezekiel being unaffected by magic is sort of an ongoing thing in the show. He is influenced by it much of the time, such as by Santa’s Hat, Pan’s Flute, Prospero’s spell, lycanthropy, etc. When it comes to the stuff he was seemingly completely immune to, there is one link that connects them all.

Apple of Discord: Everybody knows this one. The Apple is a Greek artifact, meant to turn you into the worst version of yourself, and Ezekiel was only one completely unaffected. It’s blamed on “he’s already the worst version of himself” or whatever.

Zeus Lightning Bolt: the episode where Ezekiel ends up decked out in Greek armor, and is sent to pick up Zeus’ Lightning Bolt, which was freaking out and zapping everywhere. He picks it up just fine, and he’s then able to hand it off to Flynn. It may have been purely because of the Greek armor he was wearing, but Flynn did not seem so sure about that working.

Cindy’s Love Potion: Ezekiel is able to be near the potion without becoming obsessed with Cindy. At first, it’s blamed on him being obsessed with himself, then later Jacob tells Ezekiel that he was already in love with Cindy. It was an obsession, not a love, potion you literally spent the episode proving that blah blah, he didn’t even recognize her at first blah blah, anyway, I have a better reason.

There are two Greek mentions in this episode. First, the potion project itself is called Project Aphrodite, a Greek goddess. Second, the sunflowers; when asked, Jenkins mentions how sunflowers are a Greek symbol of unrequited love. In addition, “love” potions may have originated in Greece, or at the very least, were common enough to have multiple sites claim that, lol. At the end of the season, where each librarian uses their gifts to turn Apep mortal, this greek potion is what Ezekiel ends up using.

See a pattern here? Everything that he was completely unaffected by was Greek in some way. So, he has an immunity to these kinds of artifacts, but why? I vote demigod.

Anyway, moving on.

Here’s some magic he could have been immune to, or could not have been. Its pretty debatable.

Fortuna: Technically a Roman Goddess, but the show does acknowledge how similar they are to Greek Gods. He may have been affected by the spell, but broke out of it pretty quick. Some think he may not been affected at all; slot machines aren’t exactly fair, especially in a casino that exists to cheat completely. As for Ezekiel getting so upset over losing, what he says, “Not the guy that loses, I’m the guy that wins” sounds very similar to what he was saying in Point of Salvation, but that’s a whole nother topic.

Alternately, he was affected and this point shouldn’t be here. I don’t know, I’m not the writers.

Libris Fabula: He was a little bit affected, just far less than the others, as he acted pretty much the same. He did get a barely noticeable clothing change, became luckier than normal, and was just able to cast a spell for some reason? Speaking out that spell, it froze the guy, and a certain Greek God does have the ability to put people to sleep. Not really the same thing, but worth thinking about. Maybe. More on that later.

Most people think he was immune, but he could have just been similar enough to the character he was portraying that he didn’t need to change a whole lot.

These ones are barely worth mentioning, because have other reasonable (though I guess your definition of reasonable may be different from mine) explanations, but you could see them as magic immunity as well:

Silver Screen: Ezekiel gets into character the least, while Cassandra and Jacob are out singing and calling people by their character names. Maybe less affected, maybe just a spoilsport. Probably the last one.

Point of Salvation: Was the only one able to remember previous loops. Since they were in a video game, it’s explained that since he was the first through the door, he became the player while everyone else became NPCs. I mean, sure.

Christmas Thief: Saint of Thieves only used his truth telly power on Ezekiel’s mother, not him. Ezekiel did not feel obligated to say anything. Could just be that the guy wasn’t talking to Ezekiel. Or, earlier in that episode Ezekiel tells his mother he doesn’t steal anymore (at least for anything other than the Library, I assume, cause he still kinda does) and therefor that made him immune to the spell, since it only works on thieves.

Image of an Image: Both Cassandra and Ezekiel got their pictures taken, and Cassandra was the only one affected by the transfer spell. However, Ezekiel wasn’t one of the “chosen ones” because he snuck in, and jumped in front of the camera while Eve (one of the “chosen ones”, who was later able to be affected) turned away. Either that, or he just didn’t have time to feel the effect, since his picture was taken after Cassandra’s, and Eve’s was placed in manually.

That’s all the possible instances of magic immunity I could think of.

Next, we have some other stuff that is relevant to this point, but wasn’t necessarily artifact/magic immunity.

Prophecy Cube: Created by the Oracle of Delphi, who is from Greek mythology. This isn’t about whether Ezekiel was affected by something, as he was still able to use the prophecy glass/get stuck in the cube. Rather, it’s about the Zeus Challenge in the cube. They probably would have died in there, but luckily, Ezekiel had just happened to steal, and keep on him, the exact thing they needed to get through– a bunch of golden coins, and a prophecy that ensures at least one coin can’t be destroyed. Luck? Prophecy? Divine Intervention? Plot convenience? Okay its probably the last one but STILL

Also, Ezekiel getting pissed at Zeus.

Zeus’s Bolt (again?): There is a promo image I think for season 4? that has each of the Librarians holding their tools. Jacob had his axe, Cassandra had a notebook, Flynn had Excalibur, all normal, except for Eve and Ezekiel. Eve had this big staff thing I didn’t recognize, and Ezekiel had Zeus’ Bolt for some reason?

Lightning, just, in general: If there is wild electricity in an episode, Ezekiel is probably around.

Examples:

City of Light: Gets shocked and knocked backwards into Jacob by a very electrified fence, gets up right afterwards and is fine.

Broken Staff: The Zeus Bolt thing, you get it.

Image of an Image: Ezekiel electrocutes Jacob. Jacob was not really fine. He lived, though.

Point of Salvation: Ezekiel electrocutes Jacob part 2 Electric Boogaloo, but this time on purpose. He was not fine. He died. But don’t worry, he lived.

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: Mentioned a little bit above, Ezekiel, Jacob, and a student get stuck in the Zeus Challenge, and Ezekiel uses some coins he just so happened to steal recently. Throwing them on tiles shows whether or not lightning will strike if it was stepped on. Seriously, why is it ALWAYS Jacob?

The Dark Secret: Ezekiel is the one sent to wrap a cord around a lightning rod constantly being struck by lighting. “Why am I bloody doing this”, he asks? I mean, Zeus probably isn’t going to kill his descendent(?), right?

Werewolves: Have you heard of the Lycaon of Arcadia? It’s a Greek myth. Basically, this dude named Lycaon wants to test how smart and all-knowing Zeus is. To do so, he kills his own son, cooks him, and serves him to Zeus to see if he notices, ya know, no biggie. Zeus was like “wtf man” and brings the son back to life, and turns Lycaon into, you guessed it, a wolf. So, Zeus creates a werewolf of sorts, maybe one of the firsts. In Fangs of Death, Ezekiel just so happens to be the one (main) character to be turned into werewolf. So, if he was a descendant of Zeus, imagine how big of a “fuck you” that was to the god. That all being said, Ezekiel was turned by an Egyptian god, so that might not have been intentional. Also, they may have just been avoiding turning Jacob, because there is already a werewolf named Jacob and they didn't want another Twilight reference in that episode.

Family/Name: Ezekiel is adopted, and his adoptive mother mentions how she took him in off the streets. Because of that, we don’t know who his birth parents are, and whether or not he, or anyone else, knows is unknown. Soooo, we can take some creative liberties as to who his parents might have been.

As for his name, it carries some religious connotations. It should be remembered though, the meanings I’m talking about here are Biblical, not Greek, so again, might mean nothing for this argument. “Ezekiel” is “God’s Strength” or “God will Strengthen”. Jones might also be something like “God is gracious” or “God has favored”, thought different sites say different things. However, I’m pretty sure the name Jones came from his adoptive mother, and apparently Jones is a common last name in Australia. His first name is more relevant, because all of his siblings have themed names; Mercy, Charity, and Honor. So, either his mom named him differently because she knew something we don’t, or he already had the name before she adopted him. Either way, this probably means absolutely nothing. But what are we here for? To analyze a dead show like an English teacher analyzes the color of curtains in an 100 year old text. If it wasn’t for all the other stuff, I probably wouldn’t think about this too much.

Okay. So Greek stuff, lightning, and Zeus himself come up a LOT when it comes to this guy. So is Ezekiel the son of Zeus? Possibly, but a more popular theory is that he’s Zeus’ grandson. Because Zeus’ son just so happens to be Hermes; god of things such as luck, travel, money, trade, and most importantly, thieves. Oh, and animal husbandry/shepherds and sleep, I don’t know how much those apply but I will try.

Time for some comparisons, honestly most of these don’t even need to be explained so I’ll keep it short-ish, cause this shit has gotten way too long already.

Luck: Ezekiel, especially in the first season, likes to rely on luck, and tends to be very lucky in general. Examples where this is mentioned include Fables of Doom and Apple of Discord. “Smarter to be lucky then lucky to be smart!”

Travel: We can assume that he ended up traveling in his previous job (that being heists all over the world) fairly often, even before the Library. Becoming a Librarian with a teleporting door increased that of course.

Money: Steals very high-value items to sell. Also apparently likes to take money from his coworker’s wallets. And probably everyone else’s.

Trade: The aforementioned high-value pieces he steals are traded/sold for money. In Christmas Thief, we find out he kept none of the money or items, giving it away to others who needed it. That kinda fits this category, I think.

Thieves: I really don’t need to explain this. Unless you haven’t seen the show.

Animal Husbandry/Shepherds?: Basically the care of animals. Um, well he doesn’t keep cows or anything, but he has a tendency to “adopt” magical creatures that need help. Stumpy, Nessie Jr., maybe Frankenstein’s Monster as well?

Sleep: I mentioned earlier how Ezekiel froze a guy (not really in an icy way, just couldn’t move) by hitting him with his coin. Hermes is able to send people to sleep with his Caduceus (the snake wand thing). Yeah, it’s not really the same thing, though you could consider being frozen a kind of sleep. He could have just been lucky enough to find a magical coin, and lucky enough to figure out how to use it at the exact right time without even knowing what it did. It’s a stretch either way, really, and was never explained in the episode at all. Yeah, I can't find anything else that fits.

Hermes is considered to be a thief and trickster, and a lot of the things he is god of are Ezekiel’s main occupations. With all those similarities to Hermes, frequent events related to lightning and Zeus related things, and immunity to Greek artifacts, we can conclude that he is perhaps the son of Hermes, taking after his father in abilities and getting visits from grandpa.

Alternatively, his somehow IS Hermes, but I doubt that. He’d probably be way more powerful. He was also able to see the future with Prophecy Glass, which Jenkins claims is impossible for immortals to do (although in that case he was talking about a Prophecy Cube, but close enough). It’s more likely that he is a demigod.

Okay, that is all I can think of that is relevant. I binged the series about two months ago, and have been thinking about this theory. I went ahead and re-watched the episodes that I mentioned in more detail, as well as parts of others that I remebered. The reason I bring this up is because I may have missed things. I did not rewatch a majority of the episodes, more that I looked at a list of episodes on wikipedia and tried to remember what happened in them, watching clips and episodes if I needed to.

The show was cancelled, so we’ll probably never get a confirmation as to who Ezekiels’ birth parents were, and as such, you can’t prove me wrong! That being said, if I got any facts incorrect in this, please tell me so I can fix it. I’m not well versed on Greek Mythology, in fact I know basically nothing, and did the research as I went along. So again, there could be more. This is just what I found in like, less than a day of searching.

Join me next time on “How is Cassandra magical, where’d she get it from? Also, were we ever gonna meet her parents?” And “In the first episode of season 3, Jacob is just able to hit a heavy punching bag of its chain, across the room, at bullet speed, just because of a shift of his wrist, and later in that episode do the same thing to Apep, and it’s just…never addressed or spoken about again? Like wtf man?”

I'm probably not doing that

If you managed to get through all of this, thank you, and I hope this wasn’t too painful to read.

[ahgasecaratfromn-city]

Ten Things I Hate About You

Pairing: Mark Lee x Reader ft. Haechan, Johnny and mention of Jeno

Words: 7.7k

Genre: Fluff, the tiniest bit of angst if you squint, college au

Warning: Tiniest bit of cursing, kissing, family issues, anxiety attack

Summary: You never had the luxury of selecting who you were going to tutor, so when you paired with the only person you disliked, Lee Mark, you couldn’t help but formulate a list of the ten things you hated about him.

A/N: Okay so, I will admit this is longer than I anticipated, my bad. Mark has been stuck in my head and this was my way of getting him out. Basically, each part is a snip bit/ scene from the day named in bold.  *This is very very very minimally edited 

“Who the hell is that?” was not the most flattering thing someone could say when being given a free tutor. Hell, it wasn’t a flattering thing to say under any circumstance. Yet, there you were, walking slowly towards your literature class’s resident idiot, Mark.

“Me, I’m Y/N,” he looked you up and down, frowning slightly before looking back at the professor. The boy seemed to always believe that his opinions mattered to anyone but himself. He was always screaming his misconstrued thoughts during class or more likely not showing up at all, and everything about him seemed to piss you off.

Maybe it was the way he spoke to people, always assuming he was in the right. Or, maybe it was the fact that he spoke period, always rambling about absolutely nothing while the class was engaged in relevant and important conversation. More likely, it was the permanent grin etched on his face, as if nothing could touch him, not even the failing grade he was receiving in this class.

“Mark, this is quite literally your last shot because there is seriously nothing else I can do for you,” you tuned out the rest of the conversation, only raising an eyebrow once you heard that Mark wouldn’t be able to pass without a certain score on the final.

“And you really should thank Y/N, there are other students she could be helping,” your eyes shot up at the mention of your name, blushing lightly as the men looked at you.

It wasn’t as if you had volunteered to tutor Mark specifically. You had been tutoring since high school and figured it was the perfect work-study job to take up. Except you didn’t choose who to tutor, only which subjects. Unfortunately, literature happened to be one of them, and Mark happened to suck at it.

“Now, both of you get out of here,” he pointed to the doorway with a slight smirk on his face as Mark trudged away clearly annoyed.

“We can work Monday, Wednesday, and Friday until the test. We can meet up at the library,” you offered, following after the boy who seemed to only quicken his pace. Jerk.

“Not Friday, that’s a busy day,” he shrugged, looking at everything but you. 

“The test is three weeks from today and judging by your, uhm previous scores, you need all the time you can get,” the boy whipped around at that statement, raising his brow at you. You didn’t understand why he seemed so shocked, you were only telling the truth.

“Fine, catch you later,” His eyes were looking behind you, focused on something else before he finally walked away from you. 

That was another thing that bothered you, he never made eye contact. It was like no one was worth the time of day to him. 

“What are you looking at,” A familiar arm snaked its way around your shoulders, pulling you into his chest as you prepared to go home. You smelled the familiar scent of aftershave and light cologne that immediately brought a smile to your face.

“You’ll never guess who I have to tutor,” you looked up at your best friend, Haechan, grinning at his confused face. Haechan had been your best friend since you were kids in the sandbox and since then, wherever he was you were likely right beside him.

“Let’s go eat, and you can tell me all about it,” He spun you around, walking you towards the exit.

-

“Maybe you’re being too hard on him,” the boy suggested, playing with his food before taking a bite. That was his habit whenever you ate together, he would mull over his food as if building a masterpiece before devouring an entire plate in a few bites.

“What do you mean?” You furrowed your brows at the statement. 

“I mean, I dunno, maybe don’t judge a book by its cover and stuff,” A slight blush rose to his cheeks as he realized how cringey what he had said was. His eyes met yours for a split second before you both let out a few synchronized chuckles.

“That was so bad, Chan,” you reached over to poke his cheek, laughing even harder as his cheeks became a deeper shade of red.

“I mean seriously, can you even name ten things you don’t like about him?” He asked, suddenly raising his brows in a challenging manner.

“Honestly, I could name ten things I hate about him,” you admitted, taking a bite of your food to punctuate your point. He only shook his head in disapproval as a response before continuing.

“Get back to me in a few weeks, I bet you’ll even end up friends. He seems nice from what I’ve heard” he sent a knowing wink your way before calling the waitress over.

As he began talking to the waitress, his question was still lingering in your mind. Ten things you hated about Mark. You already had certain attributes running around in your head, but you wondered how many more you were going to add to your list. 

          1. I hate that he is inconsiderate

           [Monday]

It was only the first day of your study sessions with Mark, and of course he was late. You were sitting at your usual table in the corner of the library, checking your phone for the nth time. He was almost an hour late and you were anything but surprised. The boy didn’t strike you as the type to keep his word.

“Hey, tutor girl,” The voice struck you from your thoughts, coming from someone you didn’t think you’d see today.

“Mark,” You nodded towards the seat across from you, opening the textbook you had sat in front of you. The boy sat silently, a smug grin painted across his face as he looked at you, eyes focused above your head. 

“I had something pop up, sorry about that man,” even his apologies were insincere and annoying. You almost wanted to toss the coffee drink in his hands into the trash, but you found it in yourself to give him the benefit of the doubt.

“Whatever, let's just get started,” He nodded in response, glancing down at your textbook with a look of uncertainty, “Did you bring your textbook?” It was then that you realized that he hadn’t brought anything with him, not even a pencil. Of course he was unprepared.

“It’s fine, use mine,” You turned yours around towards him before pointing towards a specific chapter. He nodded in response before flicking his eyes back up in your general direction.

“Today, we’ll start with the basics of analyzing a text. We’ll do ethos, pathos, and logos. It’s pretty simple but it’s gonna help with the essay portion,” You rambled on for a few minutes about the basis of arguments and speeches. His eyes were in the book but you couldn't tell if he was understanding or not. Throughout your explanation, you could see his leg shaking and his fingers tapping on the table. 

“Is there anything you want me to go over?” his eyes were still glued to the book as he looked back up at you. He was smiling, as usual, but something about the look in his eye told you that he was utterly confused. 

“No, Uh, I think I understand,” His taps became a bit more intense until he realized you were watching him and stopped. 

“It’s okay if you don't,” you said mindlessly, “I’m here to help,” as much as you weren’t a fan of Mark, you wanted him to do well. It was a part of the reason you liked tutoring. Seeing someone work hard for something, and helping them get there was one of the best feelings in the world.

“It’s fine,” he shrugged, smiling wider. You didn’t understand why he didn’t just say he needed help since it was literally your job, but you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable.

“Let’s go over it one more time, for my sake,” you went over the material again, using more examples, even some from popular music to explain the definitions he didn’t understand.

“I mean, I already understood, but I get it, more,” He said sheepishly, rubbing his face in his hand. You smiled a bit at the light pink color growing on his cheeks as you switched subjects.

“Okay, I believe you. We have some more material to cover though. Since you’re picking it up so quickly,” you smirked at the last statement, flipping the textbook in front of him to the correct page. You ignored his groan of despair, instead continuing the lesson you had planned.

You had believed after the first lesson, he might be easy to work with, but eventually, you were proved wrong. Mark was an absolute menace. His incessant taps on the table, glances around the room, random babbling, and absolute lack of interest in what you said, was pissing you off. Even the librarian had walked over to tell him to be quiet.

“Let’s take a break,” he suggested, running a hand through his hair.

“It’s been thirty minutes, Mark,” you rolled your eyes, pointing back at the sheet in front of you. He seemed to lose focus often, so you decided making him take notes might help.

“I know, but honestly my brain is full,” he whined, sending puppy dog eyes your way. Usually, you would have been able to say no, but his puckered lip and innocent eyes were beginning to sway you. 

“Fine, ten minutes,” you gave in to a smiling mark, who shot his fist up in excitement. He leaned back in his chair, looking into space with a look you couldn’t decipher. He was visibly deep in thought and you were beginning to feel very awkward as time went on.

“Tutor girl, yeah she’s tutoring me

 I wanna go home cause that’s the place to be,

Wherever I am, the vibe is nice,

Cause I’m cool like ice,” he went on and on rambling random rhymes with the biggest smile on his face. Nothing would have made you happier than saying that it sounded terrible, and while the rhymes themselves were ridiculous, his voice had a certain addictive vibe that made you want to keep listening.

He suddenly stopped, grinning at your lack of words “Shocked into silence, they say I have that effect on people,” he smirked nonchalantly eliciting a groan of annoyance from you.

“I don’t know who ‘they’ are, but your ten minutes are up,” 

“What! It’s been like three at most,” he complained, dropping his head in annoyance.

“Well, at least stop being so loud,” you rolled your eyes at the boy, who lit up once again. 

You sat in silence for a few seconds before he finally spoke, “Why are you so uptight, tutor girl?” The nickname was really beginning to bug you and so was the boy sitting across from you.

“I have a name you know,” you finally comment, ignoring his question. You were fiddling with your fingers under the table, doing anything to keep your mind off of the uncomfortable question he had asked.

“I know, Y/N,” Your eyes shot up at the mention of your name, almost giving you whiplash. 

“So, why do you call me that?” 

“It’s just a nickname,” he shrugged lightly before beginning to beatbox. He was like a child with the shortest attention span you had seen on anyone above the age of fifteen.

“It’s definitely been ten minutes now,” you pushed his paper towards him before beginning the next lesson.

            2. I hate that he really is a mystery

                 [thursday]

“I’ve never been here,” You commented, looking up at your very tall friend, Johnny opening the door for you. He was a few years older than you but you ended up bonding through the tutoring center you both worked at.

The building was a typical cafe with a warm mocha toned interior. It had bookcases lining one wall with two big grandpa chairs watching over the small tables littered around the room. The place was relatively empty, with only a few people taking up two tables near the bookshelves. It was super cozy and inviting which made you question why you hadn’t been there sooner.

“Really? A lot of people from school come here,” you only nodded in response, following the boy towards the register. 

Once inside, you immediately walked to the baked goods section, eyeing the various desserts.  

You were glad Johnny called. You had been stressed out, from your mom riding you about job applications, classes reaching finals time, tutoring Mark, etc etc. It felt like as you got older the weight on your shoulders got heavier and heavier. Everyone in your life needed you to decide on your future and you just weren’t there yet. You couldn't even decide on a pastry let alone where you wanted to be in ten years. 

“Are you ready to order?” Johnny tapped your shoulder, pulling you away from your thoughts.

“Sure,” you nodded, masking the sadness the thoughts had brought on.

You watched as the older boy tapped the service bell before peering over the counter.  “Someone’s coming,” he said, leaning back.

“Hey Johnny, what can I get ya today,” the familiar voice caused your eyes to bulge as you looked up at the owner.

“Tutor girl?” 

“Mark,” you mumbled quietly, nodding in his direction. It seemed as if your problems followed you everywhere.

“You two know each other?”Johnny asked with a grin.

Mark answered quickly “We take lit together,” you frowned at the lack of mentioning the fact that you were his tutor. 

“Ah okay,”

“How do you two know each other?” you asked, only half caring.

“We’ve been friends since his freshman year,” The older boy explained.

“Anyway, what do you want bro?” Mark asked informally, smile bright as he got ready to punch the buttons on the screen in front of him.

“I’ll have an americano, give me like two extra shots,” Johnny looked at you, waiting for your order as Mark tapped on the screen.

“Can I get an americano and a chocolate croissant,” 

“Sure,” the younger boy said absentmindedly.

Johnny reached into his wallet before you could even say anything, looking down at you with a “don’t argue” look. You were used to him paying whenever you went out together or even with other friends, even though you always put up a fight.

“Don’t worry about it,” Mark said, pushing Johnny’s card back at him, “on the house,” he explained.

“You sure?” 

“Yeah don’t worry about it,”

“Thank you,” you smiled sincerely, surprised by the gesture.

“He never pays for me,” Johnny said, chuckling as if it were an inside joke before he began looking for a seat.

He finally selected a table in the corner with two chairs beside it, right next to a window. You sat down in the chair, giving the place a once over again. Something had caught your eye this time. You watched as the dark-haired boy darted around behind the register, preparing your drinks expertly. 

“I didn’t know he worked here,” You mumbled absentmindedly, still watching the boy work.

“Yeah, he works at a restaurant too,” Johnny commented, smiling knowingly in your direction. You furrowed your brows as you looked back at him. You didn’t know he had one job, let alone two. 

“Oh,” was all you said, leaving it at that. It seemed like Mark really was a mystery to you. You knew virtually nothing about him. Something about that fact gave you an unsettling feeling that you were too stubborn to think about any further.

             3. I hate that he asks too many questions

                  [Friday]

“I don’t want to gooo,” you whined, fighting against Haechan who was currently pushing you towards the library.

“It’s only the third day. You’re such a baby,” You could practically hear his eyes roll as he stopped in front of the door. He had given you a ride to the library, as he always would if he had time.

“Am not,”

“Are too,” 

“Am not,”

“Are too,” 

“Am not,” Despite how childish it was, you literally stamped your foot, leading to a laughing fit from the two of you. 

“I can’t believe you,” he sighed, lightly shoving you.

“I’m very mature though, on a serious-,” you suddenly stopped speaking as you noticed he wasn’t looking at you anymore, “what is it?” you turned on your heel only to be met with the infamous boy himself.

“Am I too early?” he looked down at his phone with furrowed brows before looking back at you. 

“No, you’re actually on time,” you didn’t mean to come off as passive-aggressive but judging from Mark’s raised brows, you did.

You watched as Haechan reached out to shake Mark’s hand with a friendly smile and a quick mutter of his name. Mark responded by smiling awkwardly before finally reciprocating the gesture. “I’m Mark,” he introduced himself with his world-famous grin before flicking his gaze in your direction.

It was silent for a few moments before Haechan finally said something, “I’ll leave you guys to it,” he smiled one last time, sending you a mischievous look before leaving the two of you alone.

“You ready?” he asked, reaching up to grab the nape of his neck awkwardly. You quickly noticed the Jansport backpack he was sporting. It was a small thing but something about the fact that he came prepared made you feel weird.

“Uhh, yeah,” you opened the door to the library, walking quickly to the usual spot in the corner, Mark trudging quietly behind you.

“I made some flashcards for you,” You began, reaching into your bag and pulling out the index cards that you had put on a binder ring.

“Thanks,” he took the cards from your hand with a smile.

“So that guy’s your boyfriend?” he asked casually while shuffling through the cards.

You jaw all but dropped in shock as you fumbled to find the right words, “absolutely not,” you finally said, “he’s like a brother,” you clarified, waiting for his reaction.

The question made you feel uneasy coming from his mouth. It seemed random and very odd considering neither one of you had ever discussed anything personal.

“Oh, okay. You seem close,” he commented, continuing to look through the flashcards.

“We are, but uh, today lets just talk about your essay structure,” you changed the subject promptly, noticing the grin that was solidifying on his face.

Ten minutes later you could already tell he was distracted, judging by his taps on the table that were rapidly reaching a fever pitch.

He looked in your direction suddenly, “What do you want to do, tutor girl, like after graduation” 

Mark asked you the question like it was the most casual thing to say, like it was comparable to “how was your day” or “what kind of coffee do you like.” No one had really asked you that before, what you wanted to do.

“uh, I’m not sure honestly,” you were unsure of why you were even entertaining the conversation. Had it been asked a few days ago you might have just rolled your eyes and answered with the generic response you had been trained to use.

“Really? You seem like the type to plan everything a hundred steps ahead,” 

You quirked your eyebrow up in surprise “What’s that supposed to mean,” 

A light blush found its way onto his cheeks as he stumbled over his words, “No, it’s just that you, like, seem put together, like you know what you want,” he clarified.

The notion confused you to an extent. You never knew what you wanted. You had spent so long doing what people told you that you should do, that you barely even thought about what you wanted. Honestly speaking, you had only started tutoring because your mother told you it would look good on college applications. You had just so happened to actually end up enjoying it. That was the real reason you always did everything the same way and were what Mark called ‘uptight’.

“I don’t,” you admitted, “I have a hard time knowing what I want,” you trailed off quietly before asking him the same question.

“I want to pursue music, but I’m not sure if it’s practical,” he said shrugging.

“It isn’t practical,” you agreed, smiling lightly at the shocked face Mark sent you, “but if it’s something you want to do, it’s worth trying,” you finished, watching as Mark let out a breath. 

He sighed, “I wish it were that easy,” his table tapping picked up a slow pace. You nodded in agreement, realizing that you were in a similar predicament. “Well, what do you like to do?” he asked suddenly.

“You ask a lot of questions,” you replied simply, playing with the seam of your jeans.

             4. I hate that he’s unbelievably stubborn

                   [Monday]

“Mark, honestly we can just reschedule,” You watched as the boy shook his head, jumping from his previous position.

“No, I’m fine,” he shook his head a few times before gesturing in your direction for you to continue.

The boy kept nodding off throughout your lesson and showing obvious signs that he was in no way capable of learning anything. His eyes were bloodshot as if he hadn’t slept all weekend, his eye bags were at least three shades darker than usual, and most importantly he wasn’t making any noises at all. Not even his usual incessant table taps.

“Mark, you did pretty well on the practice quiz, you can take the day off,” you tried to reason with the boy whose eyes were barely open. It looked like he was sleeping with his eyes open.

“No no, y/n,” him using your real name made you feel weird and told you that he was definitely not in the right mind. “You came all the way here, let’s just start,” 

You chuckled lightly at his groggy and barely comprehensible voice as you closed your books. 

“Why are you so tired anyway? Did you work over the weekend?” you found yourself actually curious about his answer, not just asking something random for the sake of it not being awkward.

He answered simply, trying his best to hide a yawn, “yep,” 

You shook your head disapprovingly before finally speaking, “Alright this is what we’re going to do. One more practice test and then please go home and do us both a favor and go to sleep,” 

“I don’t want to be an inconvenience,” he admitted, sitting upright.

“You’re more of an inconvenience this way because I can't tutor someone who can’t even spell their own name,” I tapped on the corner of his notes, where he had written his name as “mar” leaving the last letter off.

“Fine,” he said finally, lifting his hoodie off of his head.

“You’re so god damn stubborn,” you whispered mostly to yourself.

“I can hear you, y’know,” you smiled at his remark before setting a practice test in front of him.

               5. I hate that he sees what no one else does

                     [Friday]

“Yes, mom,” you paused for a moment, waiting for your mother’s usual rant about how you never did anything right, and how at your age she was already starting her own business, yada yada, the usual. 

“I know,” pause, “I sent them out last week, remember?” pause, “I will,”

“Hey, tutor girl,” Mark greeted, taking his usual seat in front of you. He had a concerned look on his face as he noticed you were on the phone having an unpleasant conversation.

You pulled the phone away from your face, “I’ll be right back,” you shot him a small generic smile before walking outside of the building.

“Y/N if you don’t get it together, I’m going to-” your mother’s voice could be heard despite the fact that you had pulled the phone away from your face.

“I’m in the middle of a tutoring session, I have to call you back later,” you interrupted, pressing the hang-up button soon after.

You took a few long breaths before plastering a smile onto your face and walking back inside the building. You could feel Mark’s eyes on you as you walked towards him trying your best to keep up a strong facade.

“Are you okay,” the concern in his voice as you looked at him almost wiped the smile off of your face.

“I’m fine, let’s get started,”

“It’s okay if you’re not. You can tell me about it,” he paused for a few moments, tapping on the table as he usually did, “I can tell you’re you aren’t,” 

“It’s nothing, let’s just start,” you waved your hand in dismissal.

“If that’s what you want,” he phrased it more like a question than a statement.

“So, today let’s talk about how point of view affects the entire story,” you began your explanation, the fake smile long gone as you gave examples from the required reading. Mark seemed only half interested in what you were saying, which was usually normal, except today you could feel his eyes glued to your face while yours were in the book as you gestured to certain sentences. 

You were not in the mood for his antics and as time passed he was truly starting to bug you. “What!? What are you looking at?” you whisper-yelled in his direction. You found yourself feeling immediately guilty as the boy looked at you in complete and utter shock. His lips had slightly parted into an ‘o’ shape and his brows were slightly raised. His cheeks had even begun turning into a deep red.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t-” he mumbled, trailing off at the end.

You raised your hand to your head, feeling a headache coming on, “no, I’m sorry. Honestly, I’m a little stressed out,” you admitted.

“It’s okay, you can talk to me about it. Like, if you want,” he looked at you expectantly, with a concerned expression adorning his face.

“It’s just my mom. She has a lot of expectations for me. It’s stressful sometimes, y’know,” he nodded at your words, waiting for you to continue, “It’s overwhelming. I don’t really know what to do. It’s like she’s been controlling my life for so long that I don’t even know what I want to do without her telling me,” you finished. 

It felt good letting it all out, and for some reason, you felt comfortable telling Mark about it. He seemed to really listen to you, like he actually cared. 

“Have you ever talked to her about it?” he asked.

“No, she’s not the best listener,” he nodded again.

“Then I think right now all you can do is try to figure out what you actually want for yourself. Like what’s something you really want to do? Like bucket list stuff,” he asked with wide eyes.

“I dunno, maybe a road trip,” you said the first thing that came to mind, mentally slapping yourself at how lame the answer was. “I’ve never really been anywhere,” you explained simply. “Kind of lame,”

He shook his head, “It's not lame if it’s something you want.” You only nodded in response.

“What you want is important, Y/N. Even if you don't know exactly what that is yet.”

               6. I hate that he is everywhere

                     [monday]

“It’s not my fault,” Haechan rolled his eyes at your shocked expression as he spoke.

“Haechan,” you said slowly, “I really shouldn’t have to explain it to you,” you shook your head in his direction. 

You were walking down the main commons area in your school, killing time before your next class.

“If someone says to you, hey! Can I borrow your hanger, how am I supposed to guess that they’ll-” he stopped speaking suddenly, a smile breaking out on his face, “look there’s your boy,” he nodded slightly in the direction ahead of you.

You looked up, almost immediately spotting Mark. He was smiling brightly as he spoke to a girl beside him. She looked to be familiar, maybe from the year below you. You watched as they laughed together, heads falling back as if they were in a movie. You had to admit, they made a cute couple.

“He’s not my boy,” you shoved your friend with light force, ignoring the tight feeling in your chest.

“Don’t worry, pretty sure she’s dating Jeno. Actually no, I’m super sure, every time I see them, they’re sucking face,” he grimaces at the notion, furrowing his brows tightly as if remembering the image vividly.

You shrugged your shoulders nonchalantly, “Why would I worry?”

“Okay, y/n,” he matched your expression, shrugging in the same way you did.

            7. I hate that his car smells just like him

                   [Tuesday]

“No it’s fine, I’ll just find a way home,” you glanced at Mark, whose eyes were on you already. “No, Haechan don’t worry about it. I’ll text you later,” you hung the phone up and looked up at the boy ahead of you.

After you opened up to Mark the previous week, he had begun taking a seat next to you in class. It seemed like you had become friends, or acquaintances at least. That felt weird to even think about. You and Mark were friends? No, acquaintances, you were just acquaintances. 

“Everything okay?” he asked, gathering his belongings.

“Yea, I just have to walk home,” you answered absentmindedly before standing.

“I can, like, give you a ride,” he offered nonchalantly, standing in front of you.

“You drive?”

He smirked at the question, “just got a new car,” 

“Okay then, if it’s no trouble,” you agreed, nodding at him. It was super weird how comfortable you were around him now. There were still things you very much disliked about him, but getting to know him had shown you that there were some things you hadn’t known at all.

“Alright,” he smiled in your general direction before leading the way. You had grown used to his quick pace, keeping up with ease now. 

“It’s nice right,” he pats the old black car lightly, as if he was afraid something would fall off. 

“Super nice,” you agreed with a grin.

You both walked to your respective sides and slid into your seats quietly. You were immediately hit with the smell of watermelon air freshener and the cologne Mark usually wore. 

“You can put your address in,” he pointed to the GPS on the car and you promptly typed it in.

There was a lasting awkward silence after that, Mark focusing diligently on driving while you were focused on counting the red cars that went by. You wondered how long it would take for someone to say something. Eventually, Mark just put on the radio, hoping to fill the silence.

He winced slightly at the country song that began playing, “You wanna hear one of my songs,” he said suddenly, a small smile accompanying his words.

“Sure,” you were actually curious, seeing as you had never heard him rap seriously, only hearing his mumbles when he was bored.

“Press the acronym one,” he said, handing you his phone, eyes still trained on the road. It was almost comical how focused he was while driving whereas during tutoring sessions he was always distracted.

“Que-tay, uhm, qwe-ta,” you tried pronouncing the acronym, eliciting a laughing fit from Mark. His laugh was so innocent you couldn’t help but smile along even though you didn’t know what was so funny.

“Key-tah,” he finally said with a smile.

“Ah,” you nodded, turning the volume up.

The song started off subtly, with a chill beat that matched the atmosphere in the car. You could see Mark’s light blush peeking from your peripheral as the song went on. By the time the second verse began, Mark was humming along before finally fully rapping alongside himself. Again, you were reminded of how addictive his voice was. 

He seemed so passionate at that moment, so confident. He was showing a side to himself that you hadn’t seen before. Someone so comfortable where he was. Someone truly in their element.

“I get why you want to do music,” you commented as the song ended.

“Why?” 

“You love it. I can tell. It’s like more than just a career for you, it’s a part of you,” you said matter of factly. The statement confused you to some degree. You had never seen someone so comfortable in their element. You hated to admit it but you were even a little jealous.

He smiled at that notion, “It is a part of me. Ever since I was young, my dad taught me how to play guitar and that really just jump started my love for it.” You nodded in understanding before picking a random Frank Ocean song on his playlist. 

“You should come to my showcase next week, I just got offered a spot today,” he said suddenly. You were completely shocked that he had asked you. 

“You can bring your friend, I think our whole class is going. It’s supposed to be an end of finals celebration” ah, everyone was going. 

“Okay,” you accepted simply, heat rushing to your cheeks for an unknown reason.

“just put your number in my phone, I’ll send the details later,”

The car ride from then on was more comfortable. What was once an awkward silence had become a relaxed atmosphere where you and Mark would chat about random things like the music on his playlist or the watermelon screensaver on his phone. 

              8.  I hate that he thinks can pull one over on me

                    [wednesday]

 “tutor girl, what’s up?” Mark crashed down into the seat in front of you, setting down a drink carrier from his cafe and a bag.

“Hi, Mark,” you greeted with a smile, shaking your head at his noisy entrance.

“Here you go,” he pushed an Iced Americano in your direction, following with the white bag.

“Oh, thank you, you didn’t have to get me anything,” you watched the smile on his face widen as he shook his head.

“It’s the least I could I could do for my favorite tutor,” your felt your cheeks get hot until you remembered one very important detail.

“I’m your only tutor, and you still have to take the full practice test,” you said sternly, putting the straw in the coffee quickly.

“Come on,” he whined out before starting a whole argumentative speech about how the practice tests were annoying.

               9. I hate that he doubts himself

                    [thursday]

“I mean, and I say this with full respect,” Mark began, “I truly don’t think I’m going to do that well,” he admitted, toying with the drawstring of his hoodie.

“Mark, just because you say with full respect, doesn’t make it more respectful,” you said with a grin, “but seriously, you’ve been doing so well on your practice quizzes. Over 60% every time, which is way better than what we started with,” you admitted, wincing a bit at the last statement you let slip out.

“Still, that’s not a passing grade,” he shrugged, utterly defeated as he picked up the essay rubric from his desk. His usual brighter than the sun smile had disappeared, leaving you feeling uncomfortably cold.

“Honestly your lack of trust in my tutoring skills is beginning to annoy me,” 

“No, dude, I trust you,” your eyes flew to him at that statement. He was still pondering over the paper in front of him as he continued, “I just feel like I suck at this stupid subject,” he threw the paper back onto the table at that statement.

You found yourself giving a pep talk without even a second thought “No, you don’t. You’re caught on quickly. You’re so smart but you need to stop second-guessing yourself. You’re going to do well. Even better than well because you have my help.”

“Thanks, tutor girl. I appreciate you,” you could tell he was sincere because he had met your eyes, even if just for a split second. It was the first time he had ever looked you in your eyes and it was making you feel things.

“I’m serious though, you are way smarter than you give yourself credit for, and you should know that you are no matter what score you get on this stupid test,” you finish, grinning as the smile returned on his face.

“Okay,” he nodded lightly as he stood waiting for you to join him.

You chuckled lightly at the boy as you looked up at him, “What is it, Mark?” he had a sheepish look on his face as if he was nervous about something other than the obvious.

“uhm well,” He was looking intently at you when you didn’t notice, waiting for any signs that he was annoying you.

“Actually, there’s something I was going to ask you,” a light blush found its way onto his cheeks as he spoke. You nodded in his direction waiting for whatever he had to say, looking up to find his eyes on you. 

At that moment you noticed almost like for the first time how pretty his eyes were. They were so doe-like and innocent, you couldn’t stop staring. 

To outsiders, you both would have seemed very odd as you stood just staring at each other. 

“Well, I-”

“Y/N, hurry- oh shoot, sorry,” Haechan’s voice rang from the doorway, pulling you out of whatever trance you had been in.

“I’m almost done,” you widened your eyes in Haechan’s direction for emphasis, looking back at Mark who had already looked away. “What were you saying, Mark?”

He smiled lightly for a moment, “Don’t worry about it. It’s nothing important,”

You furrowed your brows lightly, “You sure.”

“Yeah, we’ll talk later,” 

              10. I hate that I don’t hate him

                   [Friday]

“I told you so,” Haechan was grinning ear to ear as he joined you on your walk to class.

“I could name ten things I hate about him, yeah right,” He laughed to himself suddenly, mocking your old statement. “Imagine my shock seeing your face a few inches away from his. I should’ve taken a picture.”

“Shut up,” you pushed him lightly, finally reaching the door to the lit class.

“I’ll see you afterwards, good luck,” he said, sending you a final wave before walking away.

It was the test date and you were sure that Mark was nervous. As soon as you got into the room, you noticed his fingers tapping violently on the desk, his single mechanical pencil clattering as it jumped around. He was there early, earlier than you were and that was saying something. The room was empty except for the two of you, even despite you being only about fifteen minutes early.

“Mark,” you had to call his name a second time to get his attention. “Mark, relax,” you took the seat next to him and swiftly grabbed his chattering hand in your own. You watched as his leg began bouncing up and down as if it were mocking the pencil’s previous movement, “Mark, breathe,” his eyes were glued to something in the distance, his breath labored.

“Shit, I’m not prepared,” he muttered quietly, “I should have done another quiz,” he breathed out. “and I can’t fucking breathe,” he clenched his brows at the last statement, his breathing coming out as quick huffs.

“Look at me, Mark,” you reached up to turn his chin towards you. “I think you’re having an anxiety attack,” you said the words slowly, hoping to not make it any worse.

“You have to breathe, I’m right here and I’m not going to let go of you,” you squeezed lightly on his hand to emphasize your words.

“You’ve studied and studied. You’ve worked hard. You’re going to do well. All you have to do now is relax and breathe. In and out,” his eyes were glued to yours before he finally closed them altogether and began taking slow deep breaths.

“I’m here with you, and we’re both going to destroy this thing,” he nodded slowly at your words, opening them a few minutes later as his breathing reached a normal pace and his leg stopped bouncing. 

You released his hand in the next second, sending him a small smile.

“I’m glad you’re with me,” was the last thing he said before people began filing into the room.

[Monday]

“I know what you’ve all been waiting for. I have your graded finals,” Your professor had waited until the end of the day to finally share the news, leaving everyone anxious.

It was utterly silent as he passed them around, only the sound of him saying a quick “see me after class,” to Mark, who immediately winced at the statement. You couldn’t help but furrow your brows in confusion, noticing that Mark hadn’t received his test back.

“Class is dismissed,” he pointed towards the doorway after delivering the final test, smiling lightly at the people whose arms were thrown up in celebration.

Your score wasn’t that big of a surprise, you had gotten what was expected of you. You were way more interested in Mark. So you decided to wait outside the door, watching as students filed out.

It seemed like hours had passed while you were waiting for him. You mindlessly scrolled through your phone, completely missing the sounds of someone walking up to you, that someone being Mark himself.

You yelped in surprise as you were lifted off of your feet and spun around in the air.

“What the hell,” was all you said as the boy set you down.

“Y/N, Look!” he exclaimed, handing you the test with a huge eighty-five percent scribbled in red on the top right corner of the sheet.

“Mark, I told you, you could do it,” you hugged the smiling boy, grinning brightly at him.

“I couldn’t have without you, Y/N,” the sincerity in his eyes as they bore into your own was making you melt on the spot. 

“No more tutor girl?” you asked, grin never falling.

“You’ll always be tutor girl but, uh,” he paused as if deep in thought for a moment, “I really like spending time with you. I think it will be weird not seeing you all the time,” you nodded in agreement, realizing that the semester had ended, meaning it was summer break.

“Well, we’re friends now right. We can still hang out,” you offered, watching as the boy looked down with a look you couldn’t decipher.

“Um, I know we’re friends, but,” he stepped a little closer to you, “I was wondering like, y’know if it’s possible, if you maybe wanna,” he continued to stumble over his words. You couldn’t help but smile at his very awkward, very cute way of asking you what you already knew he was getting at.

“Mark, do you want to go out sometime,” you finally blurted, chuckling at his pink face. 

“Yes, I would like that a lot,” he said nodding.

“I don’t know if you knew but uhm, I mean it was before, but basically um, I’m sorry I judged you before, Mark,” you apologized suddenly watching as he shook his head in dismissal. It had been on your mind for a while even despite him not knowing.

“I knew you felt that way before. That’s kind of why I was so like reluctant to have you as my tutor,” he grabbed your hand and squeezed lightly.

“That’s why you were so weird the day he told us,” you nodded in understanding remembering the look Mark gave you when you were first introduced, as if you spat in his drink. In his defense you deserved it.

“Honestly, yeah,” he confessed, “but in your defense, I am kind of an acquired taste,” 

“That’s not an excuse. I was an idiot,” you admitted, “Mark, you’re amazing,” he smiled lightly at your last statement, taking the time to just look at you. His brown eyes were like a pool, drawing you in until you sank, unable to stop staring.

He reached out, cupping your cheek with his hand before speaking, “Can I kiss you?”

You only nodded in response, waiting patiently as he lowered his head towards your face until he was less than a centimeter away. It felt like hours had passed until his lips grazed yours, allowing a tingling sensation to move throughout your body.

 In a flash, your arms were around his neck and he was holding onto you delicately, like you would break if he was too rough. He tasted like a mixture of mint and watermelon gum. His warm foresty and floral scent was filling your senses, actively intoxicating you as his lips moved against yours rhythmically. The kiss was greater than any apology you could have given him since it was full of the emotion you couldn’t fully articulate. Mark was fully focused on you in the moment, lips moving against yours like a magnet.

“I told you to become friends, not make out in public,” you heard Haechan’s voice interrupt, causing you to immediately pull away from the boy in front of you. You couldn’t help but laugh uncontrollably at Haechan's mortified face and Mark’s intense blush.

“Sorry,” Mark muttered quietly, smiling as he looked down at you.

Haechan walked towards the older boy, looping a hand around his shoulder as he spoke, “Y’know, I always saw this coming. She said she didn’t like you, but a best friend always knows,” you could only shake your head as Mark looked back at you as if asking for help. You could hear Haechan going on and on about his premonitions as you trailed behind the two boys, feeling a sense of happiness you hadn’t felt in a long time. 

Mark was someone you could never see yourself with. He was loud, always distracted, obnoxious, stubborn, and mysterious. But he was also kind, deliberate, hard-working, smart, infectiously positive, and beautiful. You didn’t know when the thought struck you, but as you looked up at the brunette boy walking ahead you finally knew what you wanted. You wanted him by your side for as long as possible.

[himbo-buckley]

The Big Buddie for Dummies Guide

Hello party people and welcome to whatever this was supposed to be!

Quite a while ago I got an ask by someone about doing a guide on all the canon indicators for Buddie to explain the ship to non-shippers and about 5 anxiety attacks and four weeks later, I finally did it!

So read, enjoy, reblog, validate, disagree!

Also here are some notes before we get started:

Buddie has been around a while now and there are some incredibly people writing about them and doing meta posts for them, some of which I asked for their opinion which I will link at the end and some of which I am quoting in a way / have been inspired by (Also feel free to send me all and every post related and I will link it in the text as I will try to do the same)

This Guide is organised by the following themes we find in the show with Buddie: trust - coparenting - connection and love life - subtext

I’m not gonna lie, this is incomplete af because tbh? There is so much stuff that can be interpreted as evidence for Buddie but this is too long already so I left some stuff out, I hope ya’ll don’t mind … (also the reblog  option exists for reason, just add on what I missed, I’m not gonna bite!)

I’m gonna assume the person who reads this has a general understanding of the show and its scenes because I cannot explain every scene down to it’s very detail (I mean I can but that’s another 20000 words worth of meta and not sure anyone wants to read that … again) but I will try and link fitting gifsets (again, send them my way if you feel I should include sth.)

I should also add a warning for the fact that I, personally, think I am hilarious but others might not but fellas, Idc! (Also I cuss, some people don’t like that?)

So let’s get this show on the road then, shall we? I call this meta : „We might end up real close.“

(alternate title: „Buddie stans ship hard but canon ships harder“ or „This is Timbo’s story (of becoming more famous than Joss Whedon) and I’m just it’s vessel“)

Trust

We’re gonna start this off strong (I mean all of them are strong themes) by talking about the biggest theme with Buddie which is trust. It goes all the way back to 2.01 and the gym scene and Buck basically telling Eddie he doesn’t trust him (complaining about Eddie’s comfort level, anyone?) and that he needs to earn that - which rude but also I get it.

In fact there are two main themes which I combined into Trust which begin in 2.01:

„You’re my problem“ and „You can have my back any day“ both of which sort of sum up Buddie, because from the get go Buck decides hey, this guy is my problem and then he proceeds to make everything about Eddie his business. Eddie meanwhile tells Buck he’d love to have him watching his back - meaning Eddie trusts him and wants Buck to be his partner.

(Side note: isn’t it beautiful how that is a complete reverse of their usual attitudes? Usually Buck trusts way to easy and Eddie never does but with each other it’s the opposite!)

Let’s look at the episodes in order, okay?

2.01: „I think I’ve seen this happen in porn before“

- „You’re my problem“: I’m gonna talk about the gym scene later a bit more but this sort of establishes the dynamic Buddie has? Because both are fascinated by and focused on each other from the get go. I mean: Eddie got to the 118 and everyone seemed to be nice to him except this one guy and instead of giving him a few days, thinking he’ll come around , Eddie is like: nah, I’ll confront him! Why? Maybe it’s gay, maybe it’s Maybelline, maybe Eddie „I am not enough“ Diaz was just sick and tired of everyone putting trust in him because soldier and craved the vibe check?

- „You can have my back“: Basically what happened was, they got the bomb out (being partners and in sync even when they didn’t like each other yet) and they stood outside and Eddie tries a new approach cause for some reason Eddie decided out of everyone at the 118 he needed Buck to like him specifically and so he pays the guy - who was nothing but rude to him so far but who is also very competent - a compliment and Buck gets all flustered and thankful - and „You’re my problem!“ gets rephrased into „Or you know, you could have mine!“

(Also the look of pure elation on Buck’s face when Eddie compliments him, you know the person Hen has basically said is so awesome and pretty it transcends sexualities? And he picks Buck of all people to have his back? Buck has no choice but to stan!)

- In terms of Trust we also get the pool scene which is our second instance of them being in sync and partners by both jumping into the pool and getting the guy out basically at the same time

2.02 / 2.03: „Why Edmundo Diaz hates earthquakes part 1 and part 2 (of 2)“

- „Where do you want us, Cap?“: Now looking at the timeline of 2.01 they’ve known each other for approximately four days as this is their fourth shift together (we see) and yet Eddie is already comfortable enough to answer for himself and Buck several times. He’s the one who decides they will go in and he answers the roll call later for the both of them. This is our first real instance of them being in sync and just their whole interaction, from Eddie going along with Buck’s plan about the elevator to everything else just shows how much they already trust each other.

- „I, uh, I love kids“: Also Buck in this episode, why was it so important that Eddie knows you like kids? Please share!

- “Eddie, you’re kid is in the safest place he can be.“: Connected to this is a sub-theme I like to call: ‚They know each other better than anyone else does‘ which is established here with Buck realising that Eddie is full of shit when he pretends not to worry about Chris so Buck spends some time trying to assure Eddie Chris is safe at school.

- „Is everything okay?“: Of course, the fact that Buck was the only one to check in with Eddie’s mental state from the truck scene onwards is very telling, because everyone else likes and trusts him but they don’t really care (yet)

- And the episodes end with everyone reuniting with their families, including Eddie - while Buck watches from the car because Buck drove him there because he has his back (also see Subtext)

2.04: „Hearteyes, motherforker“

This whole episode is what made several people ship Buddie and well, I can see it and I will talk about a lot of it with the other themes but for now:

- „I just feel bad for him. (…) Eddie’s working on it“: This episode really leans into the whole „You’re my problem“ with Buck apparently driving Eddie to the hospital (or at least coming along) to Buck clearing Chris coming to the station with Bobby to worrying about them at home until finally he introduces him to Carla.

Mind you, they haven’t known each other that long, yet Buck feels the need to meddle in Eddie’s life and fix his problems for him which, yes, is very Buck thing to do but still: Considering Eddie was introduced to us as this super capable guy, it’s interesting that Buck immediately saw through him and decided: yeah, that guy needs me to take care of him.

Or you know, to have his back.

2.07: „*Tommy Wiseau voice* Oh, hi Shannon!“

- „I needed someone to have my back“: This episode establishes the significance of „You can have my back“ even more because in this episode Shannon comes back and you know what they fight about? Eddie not having her back. Shannon quite literally says „I needed someone to have my back“ which is almost the same exact  Eddie tells Buck in 2.01 and with that wording as well ...

In the same scene Shannon also says how Eddie always knows best and is the one to make the decisions which  is another parallel you can draw to Buddie where Eddie began like that in 2.01 (the scene at the mechanic’s) and then began to follow Buck’s lead (the elevator shaft) / let Buck help him (Carla))

2.10: „It’s all about ‚figured it was none of my business‘“

I love this episode very much because there are several Buddie hints in there.

- “I think it’s none of our business.“: Connected to the topic of Trust is the scene between Chimney and Buck when they buy the Christmas tree and Buck keeps talking about Shannon coming to the station and the fact that Shannon and Eddie hooked up while Chim seems exasperated by this and frankly doesn’t care and he tells Buck as much, saying it’s none of their business. Except it is because Eddie is Buck’s problem, remember?

- „So … not gonna say anything?“: And then the „None of your / my business“ gets repeated in the scene when Buddie sits at the fountain talking about Chris and Shannon and they both say it’s none of Buck’s business. Yet Eddie then still tells Buck all about it sounding all defensive.

- It’s also the first instance of Eddie willingly searching out Buck’s advice about Christopher.

- And related to the topic of knowing each other well, considering how surprised Buck is by all of this, one sort of has to wonder how often they hang out outside of work. Because the way Buck acts makes one assume it’s quite a lot, which is why Buck is so hurt he doesn’t know about it.

- Also the fact that they so casually go somewhere with Christopher and the way Buck talks about him making it clear they have done this before.

- „Trying to protect your kid.“: On the topic of Trust I also wanna mention the fact that Eddie doesn’t trust Shannon with Christopher. Which is a direct parallel to 3.03 when Eddie tells Buck there is no one he trusts more with his son. And also 3.09 when Buck gets to be back in Chris’s life after the lawsuit as soon as Buddie made up yet Shannon needs to really beg for it? I mean, yeah.

2.13: „ Evan *I colour coordinate with bae while my sister is abducted and my brother is dying* Buckley“

- „Oh, no, I know what you were thinking.“: The scene at the hospital between Buck and Eddie does have a bit of subtextual relevance but I do think we should note the fact that this scene was in the show at all like this because wouldn’t Bobby have made a bit more sense? After all they spent one and a half Season before that making him the guy Buck goes to for advice and he has sisters as well, yet here we get Eddie being the one to talk to Buck.

We get Eddie basically telling Buck exactly what he needed to hear and while not exactly condoning his actions, he is also not judging them. Instead Eddie is telling Buck he might have done the same, because Eddie and Buck know each other and see each other.

So I wouldn’t necessarily call that scene Buddie-hinting but it does definitely play into the whole ‚having each other’s backs‘ and ‚knowing each other well‘ thing they got going on.

Also compare it to 3.06 in the way that both times Buck did something wrong and it was Eddie who actually took the time to listen to Buck’s reasoning and be the one to understand him, which is a very important part of their dynamic.

And the line „I wasn’t worried about that.“ in response to how Buck thought he would get away with all of this might be one of the top 10 heartbreaking lines of this show for me and that is saying a lot with 911!

2.14: „‚It’s a miracle… bro #nohomo’“

I am not fully sure if the scene of Buck freaking out about Eddie going back in to save the kid really fits in here, but I’m also very unsure were else to put it, so Trust it is!

- „Eddie, what are you doing?”: It does fit into the whole having each other’s back thing with Buck immediately jumping into action to try and help Eddie

- But in all honesty prior to 3.14 this would have not made the cut as I would have been like: eh, that’s just who Buck is as a person - but as 3.14 will proof / has proven, he can be calm and collected even when his sister, his ACTUAL family is in danger and while I would argue it was in part because there was less he could do to actively help in 3.14, it still deserves to be mentioned now

- Side note: considering 2.13 / 2.14 and 3.14 / 3.15 this marks two occasions were Buck being worried for Maddie’s life was followed by an episode of Buck being worried for Eddie’s life and that too deserves mentioning

2.18: „insert *Jane Austen film*-gif: It’s about the hands!“

- I’m not really sure if this is really connected to Trust but Eddie holds Buck’s hand the whole time, even after he has dragged him out from under the firetruck until they disappear in the ambulance.

- Also the fact that Eddie, who is probably stronger than Chimney, is the one helping Hen drag Buck out from under the fire truck while Chimney helps lift it is … worth a mention.

- Definitely connected to Trust is Buck’s insistence to going to Eddie’s ceremony because this is Eddie and he has his back

3.01: „How you know he no sleep naked?“

Yes, this scene has a lot to unpack. In terms of *trust* / how well they know each other:

- „He’s just sulking, Cap“: Eddie says about Buck. In my opinion the phrasing combined with how before that they were talking about how Maddie can’t get Buck to leave the house and he won’t answer any of Bobby’s calls implies that either a) Eddie too has tried to contact Buck with no success or b) is actually in contact with Buck, has talked to him and has concluded based on what he saw that Buck is sulking - and yes, I am leaning toward b).

- “Maybe you’ll learn something.“: Which brings me to the fact that it’s Eddie who makes the  plan to get Buck out of his funk and prove to him that he still has stuff to live for, despite how dismissive he had been about Buck’s feelings before, calling it sulking and saying Buck should just brush it off. Because Eddie has Buck’s back despite it all and is there for him and trusts him.

- „He’s hanging out with his Buck today“: In terms of actual Trust there is the fact that Buck is very much depressed in this episode - and what does Eddie do? Puts his son in his care, you know, the most important person in Eddie’s life, convinced that Buck will be able to take care of him despite how low and bad he is feeling about himself. One) because it has been the case for Eddie probably. Two) because this is who Buck is as a person even while depressed and Eddie trusts that. And three) because even before the Tsunami Eddie was very sure about how much Buck loved Chris.

- „Honestly I don’t know how to help him.“: This also parallels Maddie with Eddie in an interesting way because Maddie spends the whole episode worried about Buck and thinking he cannot take care of himself, while Eddie trusts in Buck to not only take care of himself but also his son. Which yeah, interesting.

3.02 „Eddie hates earthquakes - the remix“

- The episode sort of proves that while the others may have known what Eddie was gonna do, Operation „Buck up Buck“ was his plan because he is the one who has Buck’s back. (Considering for example Maddie doesn’t know about it as she thinks Buck is home and had Chim been involved he would have told her beforehand meaning this was Eddie’s plan and he executed it and then told the others about it while at work.)

- Also in terms of literal Trust: LA is hit by a Tsunami and Eddie doesn’t worry about his son once because Buck said they are going to the movies next and also because Eddie trusts Buck to protect Chris like he would.

3.03 „‚Do it for the trauma!‘ - Buck-edition“

Once again a subtext-mill but there is some textual evidence as well:

- “How do you tell your best friend that you lost his son?“: At the VA hospital Buck calls Eddie his best friend when he talks to Maddie which I always found weird in this context? Because it should always be hard to tell another person about how you got their child killed (which is not my opinion but the way Buck sees it here, okay?), yet the writers choose to put in a reference to how much Eddie means to Buck.

- Which connects to another subtext and text thing which is the voiceover which has Buck say the lines: „To be seen. To be found. Isn’t that what we’re all looking for?“ after talking to Eddie, which no longer just implies this is about Eddie but actually straight up says it - and it connects to the sub-topic of how well they know each other, cause Buck says in this episode: Eddie is my best friend and he sees me for who I really am. Which, yeah, is stuff one usually finds in connection to a love interest. (Will talk about it more with Subtext though)

- Also before that the voiceover has Buck say „Sometimes being lost is not knowing how to get from where we are to where we wanna be, where we need to be.“ right as Eddie knocks on the door, which basically states that Eddie and Chris might be where Buck wants to be but also how Eddie apparently knows how to get Buck there. Because he knows him so well. (He literally calls Eddie his life raft in the voiceover!)

- „Buck, there is nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you”: Now the Trust theme in regards to the loft scene is interesting in how it compares Buck to two people in Eddie’s eyes / life: Shannon and himself. Shannon, as I already said, we have with 2.07 and 2.10, both of which talked about how she left Chris (and Eddie) and how Eddie no longer trusts her because of this and refuses to let her back into Chris’s life. Which is different to how he always lets Buck back into Chris’s life, even after the lawsuit with virtually no hesitation once they made up as far as we can see. Meaning he trusts Buck more than he trusts Shannon. Who is, you know, his wife?

As for Eddie himself, I’m gonna flashforward a bit to 3.08 and the conversation between Eddie and Bobby. Because in 3.03 Eddie talks about messing up with Chris, yet how he never stops trying and how he knows Buck is the same way - which is interesting considering 3.08 has Eddie basically say that he has not forgiven himself for all those mistakes. Yet he forgives Buck both for the Tsunami and abandoning them during the lawsuit.

And now I wanna say something very controversial and hurtful but also connected to how I read Buddie and Trust which is that in my opinion? Eddie includes himself here. Eddie tells Buck here he trusts him more or at the very least just as much as he trusts himself with his son. Which is pretty big, considering he barely trusted his wife, the mother of said son, who he has known for at the very least about 11 years during Season 2? Someone he himself said he loves? Someone he at one point planned his future with? (Meaning he most definitely plans his future with Buck in it now…)

3.04 „discount!Buck in the house“

- Two things are in this episode, both of which are very much not about Trust in the literal sense but how much time Buddie spends together outside of work:

“Can’t fight city hall.“ Eddie being the only one on board with the fire drill Buck’s leading because he is a boy scout who follows all the rules but also because Buck probably talked to him about his job as fire marshal beforehand and so Eddie knows how important what is happening here is to Buck.

„You don’t know math.“: now, you can think this is another dig at Buck’s intelligence but you also have to acknowledge that at one point Eddie might have either heard someone reference Buck’s math knowledge in front of Eddie or Eddie has seen Buck try doing math and has remembered that well enough to immediately be able to pull out that dig. (Which brings us to a parallel I will talk about later!)

- “Uh, who - who’s that?“: I also firmly believe that Buck would have not been as willing to go along with the lawsuit, despite Bobby’s betrayal, had Eddie not immediately rushed off toward Lena at the firehouse, making Buck think Eddie (his partner) has replaced him. Does no longer need him to have his back.

3.05: „What if we fight like a married couple in a grocery store downtown LA, bro?“

Ah, yes, that episode! Filled with Buddie signs!

- “And if Cap says he’s not ready, he’s not ready.“: What I find interesting in terms of Buddie and Trust is the fact that Eddie apparently trusts Bobby’s judgement more than he trusts Buck’s. Which I find OOC. Or not because Eddie is a soldier and Eddie grew up fairly authoritarian it seems his first instinct will be to follow the chain of command / do as the person in charge tells him to.

- Now everything else that happens after including and specifically the street fighting storyline? That was a direct result of the lawsuit and the deposition in which Buck betrayed Eddie’s trust by revealing the info about Shannon. Which Buck is aware of because up until this point we see him still looking up, yet after this he drops his eyes and doesn’t really look at anyone again during the deposition.

- “And I’m not allowed to talk to Buck.“: Yet. YET despite this massive betrayal in Eddie’s eyes what stops him from calling Buck later is the fact that he wasn’t allowed to do so! Nothing else. Also the phrasing is very interesting as it gives us three entities Eddie considered to call: his abuela, Buck and the 118, meaning Hen, Chim and Bobby - the people he will call his family about 6 episodes later - are an uniformed mass but Buck is his own person - because up to this point Buck always had Eddie’s back. And we all know he still would have had! (Sidenote: this line is what made me an actual shipper and why ya’ll can read posts like this, so maybe say thank you to Lyndsey Beaulieu? Or fuck you, depending on your opinion of me ;P)

- „And now I can’t even talk to you.“: This whole scene gives huge character exposition and I’ve talked a shit ton about the fight in the grocery store before as have a lot of other people, but basically what it boils down to is that Eddie is mad at Buck because he revealed things about them to his lawyer but mostly because Eddie thought they had each others back and trusted each other and apparently Buck doesn’t trust and care about him the same way Eddie does for him because he didn’t even consult Eddie about the lawsuit? And Eddie misses Buck a lot. And Chris misses Buck a lot. And Eddie is already mad because Shannon wanted a divorce despite how hard he tried and then she died, meaning she left him again and now Buck left him as well and why is Eddie never enough for anyone?

And of course, as always, Eddie is mad at himself the most because he wasn’t enough for Shannon and he wasn’t enough for Buck and he’s probably not enough for Chris who is struggling so much and Eddie just feels angry and lost all the time!

I think this is the moment Buck finally understands how much he means to Eddie truly. How Eddie meant every word in 3.03. How for once someone actually trusted him, depended on him - and he let them down. Which was never his intention because Buck never understood that he could (which is not the topic of this post though).

- “Why can’t you see my side of things?“: On Buck’s side, while he isn’t nearly as mad as Eddie, he does raise the question of why Eddie didn’t have his back - which is a very fair question but Eddie is still too mad at Buck here to hear it.

- What is also very interesting about this scene is that no one, not even Bobby who was actually sued by Buck, is as mad at him as Eddie is and no one dares steps between them. Probably because everyone recognises they are closest with each other, so the conversation hits a bit different and also is about a lot more than the „stupid lawsuit“. Yeah.

(Real talk I have been very mad at friends before and I am known to make scenes but damn, this scene does not read platonic at all, it reads ‘married couple fights in grocery store in LA - what happens next will surprise you. News at 11.’)

- In other news, Eddie didn’t come to the rage room in the end and Buck was very very sad about it.

3.06: „*cries about the framing*“

(Sidenote: I feel Eddie so much in this episode, I too would be too embarrassed to talk to Buck had I just screamed at him in a grocery store in full view of all our coworkers. I too would avoid everyone like the plague and maybe join a fight club just so I would not have to deal with those feelings. I get it, my dude!)

- “Whew, dude, are you okay?“: We’ll talk about it with 3.08 as well, but it is very significant and pointed that Buck immediately knows something is wrong with Eddie when no one else at the station had seemed to be aware of that.

- “I don’t know what you want from me, Buck“: The apology scene is very subtext heavy but what it comes down to in the whole having each other’s back / knowing each other well / Trust - column is the fact that after being mad and avoiding him all day Eddie still sticks around and more importantly actually listens to Buck - which, as shitty as that sounds, but considering how he acted before if Eddie hadn’t wanted to still be Buck's friend he could have said something shitty and left or stayed and not actually listened to what Buck had to say - but he didn’t because as hurt as Eddie had been by Buck’s betrayal he still trust him and he wants to understand, which I do think sets Eddie apart from everyone else because Hen and Chim forgive Buck but they don’t ever try to figure out where he is coming from while Bobby is … being Bobby about all of. Eddie meanwhile, who has the most or maybe the only right to actually be mad about the lawsuit, still trusts Buck enough to know that he had his reasons and actually takes the time to listen to them. Even if he is being sassy.

- And on Buck’s side we do have his need to reconnect with Eddie the whole episode and we have him notice stuff about Eddie no one else did and we also have the really beautiful and mature line of Buck saying: „I just want you to talk to me. Even if it’s just to say you’re still mad.“ Which I love very much and tells us a lot about Buck and communication, because Buck values openness so much.

- “And I just wanted to…“ - „Punch someone?“: Also while it was important for Buck to explain himself to someone - it was especially important for him to explain himself to Eddie, both because he considers Eddie his best friend and also because the grocery store scene showed him how much he means to Eddie which probably floored Buck because as we learned before and also after: Buck is not used to people needing him as much as he needs them.

3.08: „XOXO gossip (fire)fighters“

- “Whoo. Nice truck.“: One thing about 911 is that it’s a very plot and action driven show, meaning sometimes it will lack the time to actually show us certain things, especially when it comes to relationships, so it relies a lot on telling us things about characters and their relationships and as these scenes here show us they do a good job at it. Buddie talking about Eddie buying a new truck is very casual and banter-y / flirty (this is a Buddie post so I call it like I see it) and light and shows us: hey, they are friends again and close again and they know each other very well - while also showing us: Eddie still keeps stuff from Buck but Buck knows something is off.

- “Eddie too.“: Which brings me to my next point and the thing I love most about this episode aside from Heidi which is Buck running around and going: ‚something is wrong with Eddie‘ while everyone else is like: ‚Eddie? Are you sure? I haven’t noticed anything‘

Which leaves two ways to read this:

Eddie and the rest of the 118 aren’t as close as it seems and they do not care about Eddie that much - which considering all the deep talk between Eddie and Chimney in 3b especially and the fact that he calls them his family would be fucked up and also doesn’t seem like the vibe they are going for OR

BUDDIE! I mean, look at what has been going on with the street fighting storyline, essentially the writers went: okay, so Eddie can't talk to Buck so he goes completely off the rails but no one will know because Eddie hides it so well - EXCEPT Buck will realise sth is wrong the second he looks at Eddie and once the lawsuit is done he will spend two episodes running after Eddie and trying to figure out what is going on

3.09: „#tw: mild adult themes & implied sexual content / #pwp - porn without porn“

- “He’s kind of obsessed with natural disasters.“: Honest question: Is Buck really obsessed with natural disasters or does Eddie have earthquake related trauma and Buck has been googling stuff and telling him facts to calm Eddie down every time the earth vibrates a little because a train or something passes them by?

In any case it’s a very cute scene with Eddie once more revealing how well he knows Buck and the writers confirming to us that yes, these boys spent a lot of time with each other and talking to each other - without needing to show the scenes

- “I could still take you“: AFTER ALL they needed the runtime to do this other little scene this fandom has not talked about at all ever mainly because it is so very straight basically people stopped shipping after.

I’m just kidding, obviously the whole scene was very queer both in subtext but especially in text, I mean, what even was that line about still taking him, Buck? There is a child not even 15 feet away, where is your sense for decency and decorum? DO YOU WANT TO TRAUMATISE HIM EVEN MORE???

A few notes on this scene:

- It’s been pointed out to me that Maddie complains about how everything around there gets shared with the 118 and how Buck … turns around and shares everything about his sister with Eddie, which I love because it seems so normal and comfortable between them like they do that all the time, which is way cute and domestic!

Added to that considering the conversation Eddie had the week before with Bobby about Shannon and the throwaway reference about thinking his marriage having been complicated, I wonder: Did Eddie talk to everyone about the street fighting and Shannon after his talk with Bobby in 3.08? Did he just talk to Buck about it? Did Buck know about Shannon wanting a divorce all along? (Yeah, you know were I am leaning, right?)

- “Especially if you aren’t around to see that they need saving“: As for the apology in and off itself, I’m not gonna talk about the character implications again cause been there done that, send an ask if you wanna know more, but what it comes down to is: Buck acknowledging that he should have been there for Eddie and he didn’t consider the Eddie of it all when he sued Bobby, which is interesting because OFFICIALLY Eddie really is just his best friend and coworker at this point so did he really have to consider his feelings all that much?

Also Buck is saying - and Eddie is not contradicting this - that Eddie street fighting would not have happened if Buck had been around, which, to quote a good friend of mine: Uff!

I think we can admit that while Eddie was mad at Buck, his anger was not primarily about Buck but it was amplified by Buck abandoning him. We can admit that Buck was what ultimately caused Eddie to lose his control and considering everything that Eddie went through in the past year with Shannon and considering everything Buck went through in the past two years: this is as close to unconditional love as these two can manage at the time and that is very beautiful and does support Buddie 100%. They are each other’s anchor and person the one they turn to in a crisis.

Or well, Buck is for Eddie. Buck does have more people like that in his life with his sister there and I do think before the lawsuit he wasn’t fully aware that he could depend on Eddie so fully because Buck always doubts how committed other people are to him because abandonment issues.

3.11: „Bist du single? Nein, eher Album!“

- „This is Eddie’s house. I’m not really a guest.“: Incredibly strong indicator / implications toward how much time these two boys spent with each other, considering how comfortable both of them are in each other’s space (and I don’t mean physical but material space). Eddie has a key to Buck’s apartment and just let’s himself in willy-nilly, while Buck is around in Eddie’s place often enough to not think of himself as a guest there. (And while that might be normal best friend behaviour to some of us, Maddie’s words imply that it is not for her / the Buckleys.)

3.14: „Frank says ‚Thank you, this paid for my new house!‘“ / 3.15: „MY therapist also says ‚Thank you!‘“

I’m gonna group these two together, since 3.14 in itself doesn’t have any relevance considering Eddie isn’t even in the episode but it does become relevant in regards to 3.15!

- Basically what it all comes down to is the contrast between Buck’s reaction to Maddie being in danger and his reaction to Eddie nearly dying!

Now I already said while talking about 2.14 part of it was that Buck was aware he was in no position to help Maddie and might actually make stuff worse if he intervenes while with Eddie he was HIS ACTUAL LIFELINE! He was actually responsible for getting Eddie out of the well and home to his family. BUT (!) it’s still very pointed, especially remembering they apparently changed the order of episodes around? Meaning we are really hit with the contrast and we have to consider the implications of it all!

- Also just Buck’s reaction in general, even with Chimney and Maddie in Season 2 he wasn’t this frantic, he wasn’t freaking out like that! This really seems like all those scene’s shows like that usually do to confirm one person is in love with the other by having them completely loose it at the prospect of the other dying.

And damn, does 911 delivers here, not just with Buck literally trying to dig down to Eddie with his bare hands but also with his conviction for the rest of the episode before going sort of catatonic near the end. Basically Buck was going through the 5 stages of grief over Eddie during the course of this episode and we just? Let him?

- Of course we should mention Buck has Eddie’s back always, so he doesn’t give up on him and doesn’t entertain the notion of Eddie possibly being dead for even a microsecond because this is Eddie and Buck needs him!

- And to add to the list of heartbreaking lines we have Hen saying: „Why? So we have two cut lines?“ because yes, Buck would choose to stay down there rather than let himself be saved if Eddie was already dead - and if Eddie wasn’t he would force Eddie to trade lines with him so Buck could be the one to die because Buck thinks Eddie’s life is more valuable than his and also he is a selfless idiot who loves Eddie more than himself - which frankly is a mutual thing if we look at 3.03

Option #3 btw would be that Hen knows Eddie has a legitimate reason to cut his line and he would explain that to Buck and - considering who they are - Buck would immediately agree and cut his line as well.

Anyways, no matter which option the writers were thinking off this line is heartbreaking and the implication interesting!

To sum it all up, the episode basically said: Buck would die for Eddie and he loves him more than anything else

- The Eddie implications of this episode are mostly Subtext, so we’ll get to them later in case you thought I forgot!

3.16: „The rope was a metaphor after all“

Tbh I do not think that this episode was really about how no person can be happy / live without regrets / not be lonely unless they are in a relationship with someone or they would not have put that much focus on the relationship between Maddie and Buck and the fact that his abandonment issues stem from her leaving.

- “He’s not gonna do it alone“: As for Buddie, the episode goes back to them being partners and in sync with the roof thing and yay, it has a different ending then the reversed situation the episode before but also it features a metaphor we will talk about later

- “Hey, you’re more than welcome to come and celebrate with a bunch of 9 year olds.“: Just like we will talk later about Eddie inviting Buck to the sleepover! Because while I don’t think the invite was all that serious and I don’t think even considering everyone else, Buck would have taken him up on it because celebrating with a bunch of 9 year olds around isn’t what Buck had in mind, it’s very interesting that the first person taken out of the equation is the guy Buck is closest to and probably spends the most time with.

- And now let’s talk about the playing pool scene because it once again shows that 1) Buck and Eddie are very alike, 2) they know each other very well and 3) they care about each other the most!

Because for 1) I do wanna point everyone to the fact that Eddie doesn’t have anyone outside his family and the 911 either or they would have mentioned him staying in contact with his army buddies or something.

2) Eddie is the only one who actually listens to what Buck says and gets what Buck is really asking, while Bobby, Hen and Chim are all too focused on their own experiences to get that the reason Buck tries so hard to help Red is because he thinks he is Red (I mean they do get it, but they don’t really realise how serious this is for Buck - yet)

3) There is also a lot of focus on Eddie in this scene which we will talk about later as well but it picks up the whole ambiguous „us“ from the grocery store which technically refers to the whole firefam but the way it’s said still implies that it is about the two of them especially.

To anticipate a bit: every time the word „Us“ is used in this scene Buddie only looks at each other. When Buck says „I mean that would never happen … to us.“ he looks at everyone else but turns to look at Eddie as he very pointedly says „to us“ and keeps his focus there for a moment. Eddie meanwhile technically turns to the pool table while he says the word „us“ but he only focuses on Buck before this and doesn’t look at anyone else because to him: Buck is the important aspect here. And no one else!

Not to mention the intense look Buck gives Eddie (and only Eddie) when he says „Better not.“. Like damn, in 3 Seasons Buck has never sounded this threatening before!

Basically the way this scene is acted combined with the words that were written it sort of reads like them going: We’re all family here but you and me will most definitely never leave each other!

I mean there is a reason why Buddie used the ambiguous „us“ while everyone else talked about the firefam being friends or being family.

(And yes, that might be a bit of a reach but this is a Buddie guide after all, so we are going with the buddie-est interpretation!)

3.17: „‚Don’t say her name‘-challenge“

- “Uh no, someone else.“: More of a subtext scene but it does seem pointed that Buck refuses to admit that he was thinking about Abby here, considering Bobby most definitely knew that Buck was talking about Abby because he was there for the hot-air balloon date, so even if he did not remember right away he knew the second Buck said he didn’t know from Maddie and since Hen and Chimney weren’t there in the truck (and also, they probably would have known who Buck was talking about as well) the only one Buck was hiding from was Eddie.

Which makes sense, even if you only look at them as best friends, because Eddie only saw the aftermath and what we canonically know that he heard about Abby were things like Buck’s speech in 2.08, so … even as just Buck’s friend he must really dislike her

(Also there is that whole parallel one can draw between Abby and Shannon which I talked about here)

- „Buck invites Eddie“: So I’ve been going back and forth on what to write here for a few hours now and what it comes down to is this: despite being 6500 words deep into a meta on Buddie and knowing full well the writers so far have no intention of actively doing Buddie, I would not accuse 911 of queerbaiting. HOWEVER, if the show ends and Buddie doesn’t happen I will consider this scene queerbaiting because there would have been ways to write this that did not leave the implications it did because the way it has been written the text is:

„If I bring my romantic life-partner to dinner with my best friend he will bring his romantic life-partner who will invite her brother who will invite his best friend and then we have to invite this other couple we are all close with.“ and well, one of them is not like the others, right?

(Well, technically two but Maddie and Buck are most definitely siblings despite that scene in 2.01)

Because essentially what that scene did here was say: If I bring my wife the evening turns into this couples night with all our friends - except Buck and Eddie aren’t a couple.

And sure, just like all great queerbaits there is a reasonable explanation as well as a completely platonic way to read this because of course Buck would not wanna be all alone with two couple so he would bring his best friend and the we’d have to invite the other couple we know as well so they don’t feel left out.

EXCEPT - and this is why it feel pointed and queerbait-ey: We have already seen the 118 hang out without Athena and Bobby at Chimney’s birthday and it was never mentioned to us whether they were invited and didn’t come - or Chimney didn’t invite them. Both explanations sort of make Hen’s point moot because it does proof that they can hang out without their boss slash friend and his wife slash her best friend without it being a big deal meaning especially if this was a make-up dinner for Chimney’s birthday they wouldn’t have needed to be there.

There is also the fact that supposably Alfred is still in town? You know, Chimney’s brother? So if they wanted to avoid the Buddie implication they could have also thrown in how Chim might bring his brother like:

„I invite you, so he invites Maddie, Maddie invites Buck, Buck invites Eddie, Chim might invite Alfred,  and now we gotta invite Athena and Bobby“ - see how that has a completely different feel? Now there are three single guys and two of which are siblings of someone else in the group while the third is friends with the rest of the group, making this sound less like couples night out and more like a group of friends hanging out.

But they didn’t do it like that so now it feels like they are pointedly equating Buddie with the canon couples of the show which is quite queerbait-ey.

3.18: „TrainCRASH? More like train WRECK? *cries*“

Okay, so this episode is a little hard to do because there is so much going on and a lot of it is very hard to categorise! As for the topic of Trust and having each other’s back:

- I do think that a lot of Eddie here come down to having Buck’s back - even when Buck might not think that’s what Eddie’s doing like in the train car, but he probably realised later which is why we see Buck talk about it with Bobby but not with Eddie because they are at this point where you no longer need to have clarifying talks (about stuff like that, once romantic!Buddie hits they’ll have to do all the talking).

And that’s basically it when it comes to Trust because most of what is happening in the episode when it comes to Buddie is Subtext!

Coparenting

I think this theme needs less of an explanation - though I do wanna point out that while I think Buck has fatherly feelings for Chris and Chris loves Buck a lot, Buck is not actually his parent / father. He is slowly getting there and if or when Buddie happens he might become Chris’s other parent but right now he is not. So this theme is about Buck being a honorary member of the Diaz family in general and Eddie’s treatment of him most of all.

Because the way I see Eddie him dating anyone would always be tied to his son. Eddie has been shown to be someone who would do anything for family and his son in particular, so the fact that Buck is tied into this family is important. It also shows how much they are already a family without actually dating and proofs they spent more time with each other than we see and more than with anyone else.

I should also say that there is a very heavy overlap between this and the category of Subtext so some things will be repeated but all of them deserve to be repeated so there is that.

2.02 / 2.03: „Why Edmundo Diaz hates earthquakes part 1 and part 2 (of 2)“

- Like I already said when I discussed Trust Buck is the only one asking who Eddie is trying to reach, he is the only one trying to reassure Eddie and he does so even though Eddie is being sarcastic and pretending he doesn’t need to be comforted - also a staple in their relationship

And I think this is also were their dynamic of Buck being Eddie’s go to person when it came to Chris came from. Buck told Eddie he liked kids and then he proceeded to actually show Eddie he means it and he cares and considering Eddie says the mother isn’t in the picture and Chris has no one else (which as we learn throughout the show is not 100% true because technically Eddie's parents are there, even if they have no idea how to properly raise Chris, but in LA Eddie doesn’t really have anyone (yet) he feels comfortable burdening with his fears about Chris), so that must mean one hell of a lot.

- “Hey. Service.“: There is also the moment at the end of 2.03 when Buck immediately tells Eddie: hey, service is back! and then he drives Eddie to pick up Chris which is a scene that has so much subtext so we’ll talk about it later! It does however give us our first‚ Diazs plus Buck‘-family moment because while we see everyone reuniting with their loved ones, we see Buck with Eddie and Chris and yeah.

2.04: „Hearteyes, motherforker“

- One of my favourite things about Buddie is how they manage to be exactly what the other person needs - or in case of this episode figure out exactly what the other person needs and giving it to them. It’s happening here and again in 3.01 and 3.03 and some other smaller moments as well (see 2.01 honestly).

It’s also interesting that Buck is the one to drive Eddie again because we saw he has a car! So why is that? Maybe because he knows the way better?

As for the coparenting happening here, aside from Buck introducing Eddie to Carla because he knows she is what Eddie needs, we also have Buck clearing Chris coming to the station with Bobby which is something Eddie apparently hadn’t considered but Buck had and instead of telling Eddie he needs to do that - he does it for him! Because that’s who Buck is but also because Buck realised in this episode how much Eddie really needs someone to have his back and just do stuff for him.

2.07: „*Tommy Wiseau voice* Hi Shannon“

- And in terms of having each other’s back this episode really shows the significance of this phrase with Shannon pointing out, like I said before, that from her point of view Eddie didn’t have her back. She needed him to be her husband and her coparent and he wasn’t.

Now we can argue whether that is true or not but it’s still an important parallel and puts Eddie turning toward Buck for advice into a new light.

Because as Shannon points out Eddie was never good at letting other people make decisions for him or with him before yet we continuously see him turning toward Buck for exactly that: sharing the load with him. And to put that even more into perspective: Buck is the youngest from their friend group, he is the one considered immature and he is the one without kids or younger siblings, yet he is the one Eddie choose for helping.

2.10: „It’s all about ‚figured it was none of my business‘“

- The interesting thing here is that Buck as Eddie’s friend really doesn’t have any right to know about what was happening between Shannon and Eddie if Eddie didn’t want him to, but Buck as Eddie’s family does (a little).

But either way this episode gives us another instance of Eddie confiding in Buck about his family problems - problems he again is the one most inexperienced with. In other words Eddie talking to Buck about it was really about Eddie wanting Buck’s opinion specifically.

There is also the fact that Buck came to see Santa with Eddie in the first place which is most definitely a family affair as far as I know US customs? (We don’t do this in Germany / Bavaria, okay? We have the Child of Christ and around the 6th we gather in the town square and shoot at it.)

It’s even brought up in text with the Elf telling Buck they make a beautiful family - and Buck not disagreeing because honestly it’s just easier and he probably knows how they looked. But yeah. That!

- Also not to repeat myself but the topic of trust is important here! Eddie not trusting Shannon in 2.07 / 2.10 with Chris vs. trusting Buck in 3.03 / 3.09 / 3.10 is important!

Yes, sure Shannon is his actual mother so Chris has stronger feelings for her and the potential to get hurt is way bigger. Yes, Buck was only gone from their life for a few weeks while Shannon was gone for about 2 years. Yes, Buck apologised twice while Shannon just played the victim card tbh (even though she did have a point with some of the stuff she said). But still:

Eddie is very hesitant to let Shannon back into his son’s life (and really his as well) while he does have no such qualms about Buck once Buck apologises to him in 3.06. In fact their relationship returns to normal with Eddie asking Buck for help with Chris numerous times while say 2.15 makes it clear Eddie still keeps Shannon at arms’ length and out of a lot of aspects of raising Chris.

Of course, giving advice to Eddie is not the same level of involved as actually parenting the child and part of it is probably growth on Eddie’s side when it comes to Season 3 but right here: it’s a stark contrast and it deserves a mention!

2.17: „*fridges female character for man pain* Haha, we’re so random!“

- „Ice cream? Oh, I do not envy you putting him to sleep tonight!“: There is the scene here where Eddie facetimes with Shannon and she is out and about with Chris and Abuela and they are getting ice cream and Eddie is all like: damn you’ll regret that later - which is the same thing he says about Buck in 3.02

3.01: „How you know he no sleep naked?“

- Buck gets a card from Chris which is a child thing to do but also should be mentioned because Buck does not get a card from Danny or Harry. And considering how much Buck likes children and how good he is with them we do have to mention that we only see Buck interact with Danny once and never with Harry while it’s been implied several times before the tsunami already that Buck does spend a lot of time with Chris. (Of course, in part this is due to how much closer Buck is with Eddie than Hen and especially Athena but still)

After all the season ends with Chris giving a card to his literal father, tying these two scenes together. And pointing out once again how important Buck is for Chris and the Diaz family.

- Also as I mentioned during Trust there is that parallel / contrast between how Maddie and how Eddie see Buck with Maddie sort of treating him like a child who needs to be dealt with while Eddie is basically like: let’s give him something to do so he feels less useless! (Guess who had the right idea! Just guess! And you have one try!)

- „Are we the only one’s without kids?“: There is also the cut from Madney talking about being the only one’s without kids and then remembering Buck to Buck getting woken up by Eddie so he can babysit Chris which I won’t say confirms Buck being a father to Chris but does accentuate everything he does for Chris after and gives the vibe that Buck does indeed have some fatherly feelings for Chris. It does at least place the idea of the Diazs WITH Buck being a family firmly into our heads.

3.02 „Eddie hates earthquakes - the remix“

- „How’s operation Buck up Buck going?“: Buck sending Eddie updates and pictures of Chris and himself hanging out is just really cute

- Also Eddie isn’t worried about his son at all!

- And we do have that tweet from Oliver Stark about jumping into the receding water at the end of 3.02 being basically suicide but Buck still doing it because the director told him, he’d do it for his own kids.

3.03 „Do it for the trauma - Buck-edition“

- I talked about it before with Trust but basically Eddie, who has parents who are still alive and physically able and love his son very much, even if they have different ideas of how to raise his son, and a sister with at least one child not that much older than Chris and a grandma and an aunt and probably some more family in LA AND Carla who he literally pays to take care of his son, literally tells his best friend he is the one he trusts the most with said son. That is fucking meaningful!

3.05: „What if we fight like a married couple in a grocery store downtown LA, bro?“

- „You know how much Chris misses you?“: The fact that Eddie brings Chris up at all and to hurt Buck specifically is - in part about Eddie deflecting from himself but also about Christopher actually missing Buck, which says a lot about the relationship Chris and Buck have and how much time they spent together if that is something Eddie would bring up here.

3.09: „#tw: mild adult themes & implied sexual content / #pwp - porn without porn“

- „I’d rather be at home with my kid, enjoying the one good thing I got going on.“: Eddie says these words during therapy and where do him and his son spent the following evening or at least an evening that same week? With Buck at his loft. Because even though Buck wasn’t mentioned here as part of the family time Eddie would much rather have, apparently he is part of it.

3.10: „Parenttrapping for Beginners“

- „Well, I thought it would be nice to bring the boys together for a playdate.“ - „All three of `em.“: this speaks for itself, Buck being invited in the first place was … an interesting choice? A dig at Buck’s mental age? Exposition? What exactly, Tim? Like what was the vibe in the writers room here?

- „Hey, Buck? (…) Can I spent Christmas with you?”: The fact that Chris would rather spent Christmas with Buck than with his grandma and the rest of their family is interesting as well and again points toward Buck being an integral part of the Diaz family.

- The way Eddie looks at Buck here and the little head shake implied to me that Buck and Eddie had the same conversation Eddie and Hen have right then already.

3.11: „Bist du single? Nein, eher Album!“

- “Well, that’s what the 118 is. The family we chose.“: Again maybe more subtext than text but when Eddie talks about the 118 being his family the camera pans to *drumroll* Chris, his actual blood family, Albert, Chim’s actual blood family - and Buck, who is basically Chim’s little brother and Eddie’s, well, best friend? Coparent? Partner in work and life? SOULMATE?

Yes, it’s a little subtext, but it’s interesting that this scene shows only one character neither of them are related to and it’s Buck, emphasising once more that these two and especially Eddie (because he’s the one talking here) think of Buck as their family.

3.12: „There’s a horse loose in a hos… school“

- “(…) we should try it together”: Again with the emphatic inclusion of Buck in family scenes! (But this time Carla gets to be there as well - though only to record them?)

This episode introduces Ana Flores as a potential love interest for Eddie and then spends the whole episode contrasting and paralleling her with Buck, as one does …

In this episode as well Eddie gets advice about Chris from several people and it’s interesting that the one person whose advice he follows without disagreeing or trying something else first is once again Buck. 

The episode also maybe implies that Buck was the one to built or buy or find out about the skateboard.

But really what matters here is Eddie reaffirming that there is no one he trusts more with his son (because he refused to take Carla’s advice right away but he did listen and think about what Buck had to say right away - despite his joking) and Buck being included in the family scene.

3.15: „MY therapist also says ‚Thank you!‘“

- „I’m always gonna fight to come home to my family.“: I’m not gonna comment on the lack of Shannon in the montage because I do believe part of it was that they didn’t really have scenes that fit and would have had to film them specifically which would then have to fit into the timeline / storyline before and also mostly it was about Shannon already being dead meaning she is no longer part of the family Eddie can come home to, so it makes a hell of a lot of sense for her not to be included, guys!

That being said I do believe Buck being in it quite a lot means something about how much of a part in Eddie’s family he is! Which is a big part and something I love about them a lot!

- Also Buck was so very happy Chris came to visit and then immediately walked over, which doesn’t really have any relevance except I thought it was cute and this is my guide.

3.16: „The rope was a metaphor after all“

- Obviously it was meant jokingly, but Eddie would have loved if Buck came and not just because being alone with a bunch of 9 year olds is no one’s idea of a fun evening and Eddie could probably use the help (still hoping Carla was there with him and still surprised Eddie was in such a good mood during the pool scene after), but because he likes to spend time with Buck and he did wanna celebrate with him - but he was also very aware that spending the evening with 9 year olds was not what Buck envisioned so he said it jokingly.

3.18: „Traincrash? More like train WRECK? *cries*“

- “Whoa! Whoa! Two weeks from home? Isn’t Chris kinda young for that?“: I don’t think I need to say more about that scene really, I think everyone who saw it understood that it confirmed the 118 but especially Buck being fairly involved in Christopher’s life and how that confirms: Buck = part of the Diaz family.

- Also all the interactions between Buck and Chris at the party both with and without Eddie around I mean, yeah, again, meaningful!

- In conclusion: Eddie, Chris and Buck are family and dems the facts!

Connection and love life

Now, this is where we are slowly going subtext and also really interpretation heavy!

The title might be a bit missleading but I didn’t really know how else to sum all aspects up. Basically this theme is about their love live but also about the parallels between their storylines - especially when it comes to their love life!

Also this theme isn’t organised by episode but by subtopics because I summed up so many different aspects here.

Parallels in their storylines:

- 3.15 / 3.16 and the rope metaphor as a metaphor for their dating life:

Technically the rope is a metaphor for their lives and them letting go of things in general but especially about their dating life because for Eddie in my opinion this is when he really fully comes to terms with Shannon’s death while Buck finally admits to his abandonment issues, in part caused by Abby leaving.

(Side note: the fact that Eddie choose to cut his line just like he choose to actually do therapy to deal with his issues for Christopher’s sake while Buck’s burns away and he is literally forced to deal with his issues through being confronted with Red and running into Abby at the train crash is … something.)

Their dating life is being paralleled:

This really isn’t technically something that explains why you should ship them but I do think it’s interesting that from the get go their love lives have been happening in parallels / contrasts to each other? As if they were connected? Magnets?

So yeah, that and also it goes like this:

- 2.01: Eddie references Buck being single

- 2.02 / 2.03: Eddie first mentions Shannon but indicates a break-up / Buck meets Ali and seems to bond with her

- 2.04: both refuse to hook up with any of the girls at the bar and don’t want to date because they consider themselves taken (I know Eddie says it’s about Chris but Buck called bullshit here and text told us to trust Buck on what he says about Eddie)

- 2.06: Buck flirts with Taylor and Eddie acts a bit jealous

- 2.07: While Buck finally comes to term with his break up with Abby in her absence, Shannon returns and we learn that Eddie has sort of been holding out hope so far (they kiss in the end) (Also Eddie and Shannon and Buck and Taylor both happen in parking lots which probably only means they ran out of location money but still!)

- 2.08: Buck hooks up with Taylor, then meets with Ali and begins dating her

- 2.10: it’s revealed that Eddie has been sleeping with Shannon and Buck is miffed

- 2.11 - 2.16: we get a few mentions of Ali and some scenes between Eddie and Shannon reminding us both these relationships are happening and they are growing closer

- 2.17: Shannon thinks she is pregnant, Eddie wonders about their relationship, Shannon wants a divorce but dies before they can go through with it

- 2.18: Buck gets a new apartment because of Ali, their relationship seems ready to become more serious, then Buck gets hurt and Ali is traumatised by this and tells Buck she needs to rethink the relationship

- 3.01: it is revealed that Ali and Buck broke up

- 3a: both of them work through the trauma of the past few months, no references to either of them dating are made, romantic and / or domestic scenes happen between them instead, the ambiguous „us“ happens

- 3.11: they are asked about their relationship-status to remind us about them being single (AND THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER? Wow.)

- 3.12: It’s pointed out again that Buck is single but he says he prefers it that way while Eddie meets Ana and shows some interest in her, then during a call Buck indicates that he might not be as happy being single as he told Madney and Josh while also seeming a bit happy Eddie won’t be dating Ana (probably)

- 3.15: Eddie finally fully comes to terms with his past, including his relationship with Shannon and her dying

- 3.16: Buck reveals he might still be hung up on what happened with Abby and he realises he needs to move on, the ambiguous „Us“ is brought back

- 3.18: Buck runs into Abby and actually moves on

- Side note: considering 2.08 and 2.10 and 3.09 and some remarks made throughout the show, Buck and Eddie are somewhat aware of the relationship struggles the other had which isn’t really relevant but also sort of is

Parallels with canon couples

This is TV and TV and especially shipping lives through tropes and parallels inside the story to subtext tell you something you need to know without actually having to say the words, but just to plant the idea in the viewers head.

For example, and please I am just spitballing here, you are writing a show about Lifeguards. And there are these two characters who are named … Paddie and Tucker. They have amazing chemistry and they are best friends and love each other a lot. Now, you, as the showrunner, are considering making them a romantic item but you need to do it slow cause while you do have queer characters and a queer following this show is fairly mainstream and also the characters have presented as straight in text so far. So you need to do crumbs, right?

Okay, so how do you best do that? Well, Tucker is known as this really caring guy and very open with his feelings and he freaks out when someone he loves is in danger - so you put Paddie in danger, right? Proofs he loves him, right?

But then you want it to have some deeper queer implications, right, in case you do decide on making them romantic? So how do you best do that? Well, lucky for you, Tucker has a sister. And you were planning on putting her in danger as well this season anyways, so you just have Tucker react a bit more subdued here, right?

But then you really want it to hit people, like you need people who are more casual and mainstream and might not have noticed the romantic undertones Tuddie has had to notice that, right? So you put these two episodes back to back.

Except „Paddie Begins“ is set to air first and well, Tucker IS known to lose his shit about people he cares about being in danger, so they might not actually notice anything more. Or they will just consider Tucker not reacting as hard about his sister, Sadie, being in danger bad writing. And you can’t have that!

So how do you fix that? Well, you just change the episode order! Now the episode with Sadie in danger airs first and people will spent a week complaining about how out of character Tucker was and it will be still on their minds when „Paddie Begins“ happens and Tucker goes feral and it will hit EVERYONE! Like damn, apparently Tucker cares more about Paddie than Sadie? Why? What makes Paddie so much more important?

Anyways, this is how you test out an idea in TV and why tropes and parallels are important…

Moving on:

- 2.14: „‚It’s a miracle… bro #nohomo’“: Now I have already written a bit about Buck’s reaction to Eddie potentially dying to safe the kid and while it is fairly tame for Buck it’s still something you usually see a guy do for a love interest (Any of ya’ll watch „Chicago Fire“? Because I watched like the first two Seasons and the main „Will they / won’t they“ - couple had a scene like that about once every three episodes. Cause it’s a trope!)

- 3.02 „Eddie hates earthquakes - the remix“: This is a teeny tiny bit of a stretch and there wasn’t even any nice cuts to anyone in the firefam to indicate they were referenced (which I found odd, considering this would have also fit for Bobby) but the guy who got impaled with his son in law said: „She‘s the love of my life but he‘s her‘s.“ which considering this episode has Buck doing everything to protect Christopher means a lot and I think about it once a day, okay?

- 3.14 vs 3.15 vs. 3.16 vs. 3.17 vs. 3.18 - Losing the love of your life and how to deal with that:

This may be the biggest parallel of all, and maybe I could have included 2.14 as well but I didn’t because it’s a whole season removed. It also seems meaningful that this episodes happen one after the other, making us naturally compare the scenes and see / look for patterns.

But to explain real quick:

In 3.14 Maddie is in danger and Chimney, who is her boyfriend and told her he loves her just one episode earlier, freaks out completely

In 3.15 Eddie might die / is considered dead by several of his friends already and Buck utterly looses it! We are talking frantic screaming and trying to dig Eddie out by hand and running around trying to figure out ways to save Eddie only to turn full on catatonic when none of that works. I mean, his mood turns faster than mine when I am hangry while on my period and that is saying sth!

3.16 could be considered a bit of a stretch but we do see Red lash out a lot when he realises that Cindy, the woman he considered the love of his life and someone he pined after for quite a while doesn’t exist like that anymore.

In 3.17 Athena is put in great danger and Bobby is forced / able to listen to it and while I am not sure if the blank look on Bobby’s face is bad acting, a deliberate but accidental acting choice OR done consciously in a way that mirrors Oliver’s acting in 3.15 - it’s there and it’s a parallel and we can watch it and compare it and see it.

To bring this whole thing home for us they contracted another outside player in the form of Connie Britton playing Buck’s ex-girlfriend Abby, who similarly to Red and Buck, turns frantic upon possibly loosing her fiancé and starts panic and lash out a little, which is fair and also part of a motherforking pattern, ya’ll!

- Another fairly obvious parallel between 3.14 and 3.15 is Buck telling Sue - as the watch Maddie and Chimney hug - that Maddie already has everything she needs when Sue asks him why he didn’t immediately rush toward his sister. Which can be compared to 3.15 were he does immediately rush to Eddie’s side and support and hug him!

-  I’ve already written about 700 words on 3.17 and the line „Buck invites Eddie“ so I’ll just point you back toward that part of the guide where I pointed out that Buddie was actively compared to the three main canon pairings here. Which is a lot and also could have been avoided and probably queerbaiting.

- Again, teeny tiny bit of a stretch maybe but like, we’re here to talk about anything in canon pointing toward Buddie and also this is my guide and I do what I want but in 3.18 we learn that Abby is now engaged to a single father and considering she was only gone for about two years (Season 2 takes place over the course of one year and in 3.13 we learn that Madney has been dating for just under 11 months so unless there was a time jump somewhere in the last 5 episodes we weren’t really told about, we clock in at about 2 years and maybe one or two months, tops, at the end of Season 3), they have been together for less than that time, even if we think Abby already knew him when she was still dating Buck. Which timeline wise puts them meeting maybe around the time Buck met Eddie, maybe a bit after, meaning Abby met and began dating and fell in love with and decided to marry a single father in the same timespan Buddie did … whatever it is they are doing! Which is meaningful because for the viewing of the Abby/Buck relationship which I am glad more and more people are realising was very unbalanced and provides an interesting parallel to Buddie because this means Abby and Buck met and developed feelings for a single father around the same time. Idk, I understand that the whole father thing was to make Buck care even more but damn, it’s a parallel so I mention it!

- Michael and Doctor Hale vs Eddie and Ana (3.17/3.18 vs. 3.12ff.)

Now, of course we need to realise that Eddie and Michael are fairly different characters and Michael has way less relationship related baggage than Eddie has which is why he goes after what he wants way faster (also, carpe diem, he just found out he won’t die). Also of course, there is no moral component to address in Michael dating some doctor vs. Eddie dating his son’s teacher, but still:

Michael and Dr. Hale had one scene together and it wasn’t even overly flirty and yet, we knew where it was heading, we felt the chemistry and everyone ended the episode saying: I ship it, more of that - which they did give us, just one episode later. They had some awkward moments, yet the show never left a single doubt in your mind where this is heading.

Now look at Eddie and Ana:

First of all we learned more about Doctor Hale in the two short scenes than we did about Ana in four scenes. That seems deliberate.

Second, while we do realise Eddie thinks Ana is attractive from the get go she repeatedly shuts him down by pointedly saying „Mr. Diaz“.

Third, every scene between Michael and Doctor Hale was romantically coded and we know where this was heading while aside from the initial scene between Ana and Eddie and maybe the second scene there were no hints of romance between the two. In fact in 3.15, an episode that is about Eddie moving forward in his life and letting go of the past she is both mentioned and actually appears, yet there are no hints of romance and romantic interest, not from Eddie and not in form of teasing from Buck and especially Carla, who pointed out Eddie’s interest in her previously. Soooooo…

Parallels with Love Interests

Now, obviously we also cannot talk Buddie without talking about them dating in general and then relating this to each other. In other news: there are parallels between each and every love interest Eddie ever had and Buck and also between Eddie and Abby.

(Side note: I could probably also find parallels between Eddie and Taylor and Eddie and Ali but tbh both of these barely qualify as love interests, especially Ali, who despite actually being in a relationship with Buck we know nothing about (hi, original Ana! You did good and I am sorry people hate you for having boundaries!))

Eddie paralleling Abby

I mean the truth is we don’t even need Eddie paralleling any other girlfriend of Buck cause there are so many between Abby and Eddie!

- Abby and Carla vs. Eddie and Carla:

The biggest one might be parallel that both employ Carla and why. Which is in part because Buck brought Carla to Eddie but goes deeper than that.

There is that conversation between Bobby and Buck about Abby and her mother in 1.09 when Buck wanted to break up with Abby and Bobby basically said: if you wanna date someone you have to love them baggage and all and should be there for them as well - and while Buck did try doing that with Abby, well, Patricia died before he could fully step into the ring and then Abby left, BUT he showed no hesitation after that to step right into Eddie’s life, into his issues, with him. And he even brought in Carla as a baggage carrier, isn’t that nice?

Also the whole reason why they need Carla around in the first place as both of them are taking care of a family member (plus the fact that Christopher is a literal child so even without CP Eddie would need help taking care of him working the hours he has).

Also tía Pepa quite literally calls Eddie a saint and I am pretty sure Abby was called sth similar by Carla and Bobby in Season 1 though I don’t care enough to check mainly because the implication was there all through the first ten episodes about how Abby was such a great person for taking care of her ailing mother.

But really it comes down to the parallels between Bobby telling Buck that a real relationship is about sharing the load and the conversation between Maddie and Buck as well as anything else in 2.04 where Buck is so desperate to be there for Eddie and help him.

- There is also a definite parallel to be drawn between the conversation Abby and Buck had in the Jeep while looking for her mom about how Abby hasn’t had sex in a year and Buck asking Eddie about dating in 2.04. It’s a little subtextual, but between the expression on his face and the topic and the teasing and the walking shoulder to shoulder it does feel alike to me so I mentioned it.

- street fighting vs. the apology: losing yourself

Now this one I love a lot because while it does happen half a season apart and isn’t explicitly expressed on the show: Eddie’s whole ark in Season 3a is about losing control and by extent losing himself because Buck wasn’t around. Abby meanwhile talks about how she found herself after she left LA and how she would have lost herself again if she returned to Buck (which is absolute bullcrap but not the point).

- There are also some parallels to be drawn between Buck, Eddie, Abby and Shannon (and technically also Maddie) and the whole leaving each other thing, with Eddie leaving Shannon for the army without consulting her about it while Abby left Buck for Ireland and then also the lawsuit where in a way Buck left Eddie like Shannon did, being so caught up in his own feelings he didn’t consider what Eddie (and Christopher) were going through.

But we can also acknowledge how it must have felt to Buck with Lena / Eddie taking Bobby’s side like he was once again replaced / left for someone else, much like Abby left him for Ireland and Maddie left him for Doug.

Buck paralleling Ana, Lena and Shannon

Buck on the other hand side parallels Eddie’s love interest a lot sometimes down to the clothes (and yes, technically Lena isn’t a love interest but Ryan Guzman thought she was and aside from the fact that he’s into women that could beat him up (which for once, not judging you, bro) and considering the parallels with Buck … that means if Buck was a woman, well, ya know?) so let’s talk about that

- Buck and Shannon:

I’ve already talked about that one a lot so I will only mention it here real quick but the whole Eddie not trusting Shannon vs. trusting Buck despite his betrayal again like right away once he apologised (which yes, what Buck did was not as bad and far more justified) and letting him back into Christopher’s life IS a parallel, considering for example how Shannon asks about Chris missing her (though it’s been over two years, at one point children just stop asking as we know Chris did) and Eddie telling Buck Chris misses him in the grocery store scene.

Also Eddie not trusting his wife and Chris’ mother with him fully even after they reconciled and him telling Buck he was the one he trusted most in the world when it came to his son is … something.

There is also a little parallel to be drawn between 2.17 when Shannon goes for ice cream with Christopher and Abuela and Eddie is all like, well, don’t come crying to me when he won’t sleep because sugar high and saying basically the same thing to Hen and Chimney in 3.02 when they ask about „Operation: Buck up Buck“ because Chris ate loads of pancakes.

Also Shannon in 2.07 said she needed Eddie to have her back and Eddie says he always did but Shannon disagrees (which might be a little how Buck felt with the lawsuit) and you know, Buck and him agreed to have each other’s backs just six episodes earlier.

- Buck and Lena:

 Now, with Lena, despite her being most connected to Eddie, the first (and second) time we actually see her is in 3.01/3.02 through Buck, which connects the two from the get go.

Eddie then finds out she was at the pier in 3.02 (before meeting her) just like Buck (though he doesn’t know that) and then meets her in 3.03 and she spends the whole episode running around LA trying to find her Captain while injured, much like Buck is doing in the same episode.

I also mentioned in my meta-series how I think one of the reasons why Eddie likes Buck so much was that Buck wasn’t impressed by his military background like everyone else (or his looks, I mean, it was probably more about his looks tbh) and how when Buck started liking him it was really about Eddie and not whatever he had heard about him - yet Buck was / is still never afraid to call him out bullshit, much like Lena from moment one.

There is also the fact that Eddie goes to her for advice and she literally uses Buck’s locker (and will I ever stop laughing about the tape? Probably not, I think it was hilarious, okay?)?

Then of course we have Buck in 3.04 reacting quite similar to seeing her for the first time as he did with Eddie in 2.01, even saying basically the same thing.

- Buck and Ana

Now, Ana is an interesting case because we see her a total of four times and she is mentioned two more times throughout the show and each and every single moment is connected to Buck somehow and sometimes so very unsubtle to.

In „Fools“ we cut from Buck saying he likes being single to Eddie doing parent-teacher conference and yes, meeting some other teachers first but also Ana, showing us that while Buck is fine with being single - Eddie might not be. And then Eddie introduces himself as Eddie and Ana knows immediately this is short for Edmundo - unlike Buck in 2.01 who guessed Eduardo? Also, Carla’s „big blue eyes“ line which is a little clown-y, so take it with a grain of salt that it could connect us to Buck.

Then of course her next scene is Eddie getting in her face about Christopher being hurt. Later in the episode we see Buck reference this on a call, meaning either Carla or Eddie told Buck about it (I am leaning a little toward Carla making fun of Eddie in front of Buck and Eddie then having to come clean about all of it, because I cannot wrap my head about the idea of Eddie telling Buck about having a crush, I’m sorry.) (And will I ever be over Buck being so gleeful that Eddie will now be dating the teacher after all? Because boy was close to cackling which even if he was in love with Eddie at the time and therefore happy he wasn’t off the market - still quite rude for a best friend if you ask me! Like, sure, do that but in front of strangers?)

Her next scene is Eddie coming to apologise to her and she gives her speech about limitations - which we can of course connect to Buck and Eddie talking about Christopher and his limitations before that and then afterwards going skateboarding with them. (It does feel a little deliberate.)

And then of course we have „Eddie Begins“ and you guys, they could have very very easily have either Carla or Buck make a joke about Mrs. Flores and Eddie’s crush in the firehouse scene, but they didn’t! And then we do get to see her at the end where she has one whole line and Eddie barely looks at her and you know what happens? They have a child ask the same question Buck asked at the beginning about ever just wearing the medal (which sounded very not straight in its delivery, Mr Stark, what were you thinking about?), making us think of Buck. Like, it would have been enough to establish Eddie doesn’t feel like a hero if the question was asked only once - twice in the span of 45 minutes constitutes a callback, meaning we are supposed to think of the other scene and that means thinking about the other person that asked, which was Buck.

Is this … flirting

Now, some of these are quite ambiguous but there are several scenes that imply they consider each other attractive or feel like flirting and here they are:

- 2.01: „I think I’ve seen this in porn before“

Now, we all know Buck’s initial dislike of Eddie was about Eddie being to good at the job and Buck being afraid of being replaced, but considering one of the first things we hear about Eddie is Hen saying that boy is so fine it transcends sexualities and considering they talked about the calendar which chooses them based on hotness just before and then all the references to the calendar throughout, it stands to reason that Buck considers Eddie attractive.

Also their whole conversation during the gym scene, what was any of that? I mean, Buck thinks the pictures of Eddie are professionally done which means he thinks they are good which means, yes, Buck thinks Eddie looks good in those!

Plus the whole scene is riddled with (sexual) tension. From Buck constantly increasing the weight he is lifting, while throwing looks at Eddie as if double checking that he sees he could bench press him and the way he gets in Eddie’s face to Eddie’s veiled barbs about the girlfriend breaking up with him and doing the same thing as a firefighter but he was getting shot at. I mean, what was that if not the beginning of a porno? (And here we have our first parallel between Buck and Eddie as we find out later because Eddie, too, has been left by a woman. Now the real question would be does he consider them broken up?

Not to mention that when Bobby tells him at the end of the episode that he wasn’t chosen Buck immediately assumes Eddie was and also is so very happy for his new friend, because he thinks he’s hot (right?).

- 2.04: „Hearteyes, motherforker“

In 2.08 Buck has a conversation with Chimney about his pick up technique and well, did anyone in production watch this episode because when Buddie walks away from tailpipe-girl-emergency he literally does everything he described.

Also Maddie says the words „Does this man crush on Eddie mean you are finally over Abby?“ to Buck and his only reaction is „Cute.“ meaning one) Maddie has teased him about his Eddie gushing before and two) maybe Buck does have a bit of a crush?

- 2.06: „Bucky Barnes murder strut - 911 edition“

Again with the Maddie and Buck scenes!

Basically what happened was Maddie talked about how cute Chimney was but Buck assumed she meant Eddie because apparently if someone says cute, Buck thinks Eddie. This is just a fact, okay?

- 2.14: „‚It’s a miracle… bro #nohomo’“

Like my name for the episode already says, there is this scene were Buck and Eddie stand next to each other and Eddie says „That was incredible!“ and Buck who is already standing in Eddie’s space leans in further to basically whisper the words „It’s a miracle.“ into Eddie’s ears and then lean back a little and I am not sure if that wouldn’t fit better with Subtext but also Buck looks at Eddie like he wants to eat him alive and Eddie looks like he would let him and say thank you after while still embarrassed because he cries during sex.

You know, acting.

- 3.04 „discount!Buck in the house!“

Listen, I am convinced this is all Ryan considering the reaction of Kenny / Chimney and Aisha / Hen but that doesn’t change the fact that they used a take which had Eddie stare at Oliver / Buck’s butt the whole time and I mean, what horrible things happened in the other takes that made production choose this one unless they want us to see Eddie looking at Buck’s butt while Chimney and Hen stand around looking amused?

- 3.09: „#tw: mild adult themes & implied sexual content / #pwp - porn without porn“

Listen, from the moment Buck says „Cause you would prefer working it out in the ring?“ and then does this dorky thing with his arms while Eddie smirks into his beer about how he fought in a cage not fenced in (which, I’m a little unclear on the distinction I think, but I am nitpicky af so who am I to judge? Probably just stuff getting lost in translation) that whole scene changes vibes, going from apologising to teasing. And I think it’s very interesting that this is when Buck chooses to come closer (and then keep coming closer until he is right in Eddie’s personal space while touching his belt which we all learned by now means he is thinking about sex) and they have this whole conversation about who could take who which happens in sort of half sentences and does not feel like they are talking about fighting each other at all.

I mean, Buck keep coming closer, while Eddie stands there rooted to his spot, leaning against the bar, smirking, like every hot guy in a bar ever who knows one smile and a bit of smolder and they will come to him (which Buck does, playing right into it, I mean, come on, bro, weren’t you once a serial dater? How do you not know how to play hard to get?) and holding the beer (you know, phallic shaped obj- okay, I’ll stop here, it’s a reach), occasionally drinking, like maybe he tries to draw attention to somewhere or he has a very dry throat and honestly: this is how porn starts!

I don’t think my writing (or anyone’s writing really, not that ya’ll aren’t talented af) can properly express how very not platonic and innuendo-heavy this scene felt.

- 3.13: „‚Bro, what if I flirted with you in a bowling alley while out on a call?‘ - ‚Bro, what if I invited you out to lunch after telling a friend to say I love you before it’s too late?‘ - ‚BRO 😍‘“

Again, the title gives everything away but like so many scenes between these boys that moment at the bowling alley when Buck channels Arnie and Eddie is all: you’re a dork and also wrong! and then later when Eddie invites Buck to get lunch (which is sort of Eddie’s thing, remember 2.01?) after earlier telling Chimney to tell Maddie he loves her if he has a chance because he might regret it. And to really drive the point home or maybe make it in the first place, after Eddie asks Buck - and only Buck - to have lunch with him, Buck then declines because of a little blood (Evan, come one, you’ve seen worse! I know I have!) - only for Chimney to consider this the push he needed to invite Maddie for dinner so he can tell her he loves her.

So, you know, platonic.

- 3.16: „The rope was a metaphor after all“

I mean, what was that scene in the locker even with Eddie leaning against the doorway all cheeky and grinning like: yeah, come hang out with me! - obviously it was about Buck never saying yes to babysit a group of nine-year olds when he could be out drinking (as someone who works with kids, I approve), but yeah, that’s not what it felt like? So unless ya’ll cannot act anymore this was deliberately a bit over the top and ambiguous.

Jealousy

Now, no good ship works without jealousy and neither does Buddie so here are some examples of Buddie being jealous.

- 2.06: „Bucky Barnes murder strut - 911 edition“

Now, your probably saying: Bucky Barnes murder strut? That’s a tall order! But damn, Ryan nailed that, okay? Listen, we’ve seen Eddie walk out of uniform several times at this point and NEVER before and never after has he struted this predatory. Eddie walks tall and military, you know, the way he stands, Eddie doesn’t strut!

Yet, here he does! And what I love about this scene is that we see him in the background while Bobby talks to Taylor, working out with no care in the world - and then Buck comes over and flirts with her, suddenly Eddie feels the need to be part of the conversation?

And he doesn’t even wait until he is standing next to them to talk, he calls over while still sitting on the lifting things.

So yeah, that one is him being jealous.

- 2.10: „It’s all about ‚not my business‘“

- Now 2.10 is a great episode for Buddie and in part it is due to Buck’s facial expressions in the background and out of focus of the camera when Shannon comes to the station.

I mean, Oliver always plays Buck very intense and expressive and with his whole face but that was a bit much, you’d think he just found out Eddie broke a vow of chastity or had an affair while being married (which technically is what Buck compares it to later so kinda makes sense he looks like that but also doesn’t, Buckeroo, what’s the big deal? Did Eddie show up at your doorstep a week earlier telling you what a punk ass bitch his wife was, or…?)

- 2.17: „*fridges female character for man pain* Haha, we’re so random!“

„Talk to Bobby. Maybe he can get you guys a discount.“: There is a point to be made about Buck just not liking Shannon considering everything he knows about her and has heard about her, the same way Eddie doesn’t Abby, but still. This scene and this line, Buck does not sound happy for Eddie or truly interested and yeah, it’s off and it seems jealous.

- 3.04 „discount!Buck in the house!“

It’s actually not just my interpretation, it’s actually - between the similarities to 2.01 and everything that happens after with the lawsuit and how Buck explains himself - literal text that Buck was jealous here with Lena. So there!

- 3.09: „#tw: mild adult themes & implied sexual content / #pwp - porn without porn“

Tim Minear please send me over some scripts or have someone call me and explain what they were going for with the „You had sex with your therapist?“-scene because Eddie was so huffy and offended and I need to know!

- 3.12: „There’s a horse loose in a hos… school“

Buck sounds awfully gleeful Eddie will probably not date Christopher’s teacher and while that might just be him making fun of his best friend being so very overprotective and short tempered when it comes to his son (Mr. Control has left the building!), still, it reads a little like jealousy over some unknown pretty woman Chris might have mentioned some time and Carla probably described in great detail when she told Buck all about Eddie losing his cool!

- 3.17: „LegsTM“

It’s technically not really a jealous moment because it’s not Eddie being jealous but Buck simply refusing to mention his ex-girlfriend here, but considering 3.18 and also and most importantly the fact that there are only two other people in the truck, one being an unknown firefighter driving the truck and the other Bobby, who very much knows how Buck was supposed to take a hot air balloon ride with Abby, for who but Eddie was Buck concealing her identity for because Bobby already knows?

There really is only Eddie left, who probably figures out what Buck was about as well because bro may not be Buck and his out of the box thinking smart but he is fucking smart and he can figure shit out as well! Yet Buck refuses to mention Abby’s name and for what? So he can pretend Bobby and Eddie don’t know he is still bitter about her? I mean, fucking hell, send over the motherforking scripts, Minear, I am done with you!

- 3.18: „Traincrash? More like train WRECK? *cries*“

While I think Eddie is being more protective than jealous here, he is awfully involved and he is uncharacteristically out of control and emotional here and I wanna know why? Does Abby being back remind you of Shannon? Is it jealousy? WHAT IS GOING ON??? WHY YOU SO MAD, ARMY BOY???

Subtext

Now, I am first gonna talk about Subtext things in general like clothing choices, music and cuts between scenes and I am gonna be honest, I probably missed quite a few!

- One of my favourite is that while Buck wears the same colours in 3.03 as Shannon does in 2.07, Eddie wears the same exact shirt - and considering the fact that Ryan got buff between Season 2 and 3 that was deliberate, someone bought that shirt again because we are supposed to connect these scenes with each other!

- As I wrote before in 2.10 we can see Buck and his reaction out of focus when Shannon comes to the firehouse to talk to Eddie and ya know, why?

- Tim Minear himself said the elf in 2.10 was an easter egg for us Buddie shippers and he also said we can make out of the fountain in the background what we want, so there, Buddie is talking about Shannon and Eddie having sex and how much that messes shit up while a fountain shoots water in the background and yes, that is an innuendo and subtext and I hate it a little.

- 2.13 has this hospital scene I love a lot and you know what? Buddie is basically dressed the same, because the subtext of this scene is these two are alike and connected and they GET EACH OTHER.

- Another scene I really love is in 3.01 when Buck comes in for the surprise party because not only does he not hug his sister or Athene but runs up to Eddie first, Bobby actually shoves Eddie at Buck so he is the first person Buck hugs (and then the hug itself, what was that? The way they hold onto each other for a moment just looking while their hips are still touching?! Is that how you two hug because I want in!).

- Also they are dressed basically the same, should we discuss this as well?

- And still in 3.01 when Buck thanks Bobby and they talk and Bobby tells Buck he’ll find someone better and then asks him if he is doing okay, the first person the show cuts to is - nope, not Evan Buckley’s sister who is also there but his best friend, Eddie! Jup!

- And still in 3.01 when the firefam talks about helping Buck in the firehouse, Eddie first acts dismissive but the scene ends with Bobby saying Buck has them even though he may not believe that right now and half of that is said while the camera is on Eddie’s face who looks thoughtful - only to cut from them to Maddie and Josh discussing the same thing and mainly how Maddie doesn’t know how to help Buck and what he needs from her. Which you know, the episode ends with Eddie basically giving Buck a swift kick in the butt like she though he might need (and then 3.03 has Eddie basically telling Buck everything is gonna be okay, so we see Maddie talking about helping Buck but never see her doing it and instead we get two scenes of Eddie being there for Buck and also no Maddie in relation to the lawsuit but an extreme focus on Eddie? Writers, I see you and you aren’t wrong!)

- Also worth another mention is the cut between Madney talking about children, saying Buck didn’t have any either - to Eddie waking up Buck so he can babysit Christopher and specifically calling Buck „his Buck“ to make us think on their relationship and let us know how close they are and also to tell us to not trusts everything Maddie says about her brother because she gets shit wrong.

- In 3.03 after Buck tells Eddie he lost Christopher and then Eddie sees Christopher and rushes over and and Buck collapses and while Eddie holds Chris after he checked for injuries and Chim and Hen and Bobby hold Buck and Bobby asks Buck if he is okay, well, this whole time Buck is staring at Chris and Eddie and Eddie is staring back at him and Bobby, if you wanna know about me, gotta tell you, I am not okay?!

- And then we have the loft scene and yeah, okay, this deserves 5000 words of his own, from the fact that they played „Photograph“ by Ed Sheeran which includes lyrics about how they will never be alone and how loving can heal and mend your soul and the fucking song ends on the words „Wait for me to come home“ just as Eddie knocks and brings Christopher over and tells Buck there is no one he trusts more with Christopher than Buck and I am sorry, what are we supposed to think here? This show is from the US, these people speak english, it’s not like these lyrics leave much room for interpretation!

Not to mention the whole monologue Buck did about being lost and not knowing how to get from where you want to be to where you need to be before Eddie showed up and then talking about how a few choice words can sometimes be the life raft one needs to get home and how we are all just searching for someone to see us? I love Maddie and I love the Buckley siblings, but damn, she’s not the one he has been searching for!

(And I keep bringing up Maddie here because as his sister she is the person Buck could feel closest to and should care about the most and be cared about the most by and yet all canon evidence points to Eddie being that person! Also she is the person next to Eddie Buck has the most scenes outside the firehouse with.)

- This one is a bit of a stretch but Buck looks very uncomfortable during the whole deposition in 3.05 but he looks everyone in the eyes until the lawyer mentions Shannon and suddenly his lap is so much more interesting and yes, after is when all of them get asked the really hurtful question but still, this is when Buck stops being despondent and realises, fuck, I went a bit to far

- Someone please find for me where the director talked about purposely framing them as romantic in the apology scene because I cannot find the post for the life of me, but never the less: In 3.06 during the apology, in the beginning of the scene we see Buddie from quite a distance and Eddie has his back turned toward Buck and there is a column in the shot to visually indicate the divide and yeah, the whole framing is quite something and the way the camera angle goes from far away making it seem like unbridgeable distance cutting to closer shots and how we slowly see alongside the words hey, they aren’t actually that far apart, like yeah, this scene was something else!

- Not a direct cut but during therapy Eddie talks about how he wants to be at home with Chris because he is the one good thing he has going for him and the one thing he gets enjoyment out of (because he is so fucking depressed and I cry), yet when we later see Chris and Eddie together it is neither in Eddie’s house nor are they alone, nope Buck is there as well, meaning Buck is considered a part of that one thing even if he wasn’t explicitly mentioned!

- During 3.10 when they take the photo with all of them Buck is grouped between Madney and the Diaz family, like right between and not just next to them. Also earlier when the eat Buck sits next to Christopher who sits next to Eddie and therefore on the opposite side of his sister and her boyfriend.

- Yes, they were probably amused by the meddling mom asking then „Are you boys single?“ in 3.11 but come on! They look at each other and smirk? For real? Hand over the script, Timbo!

- Also as mentioned before the fact that when Chim and Eddie talk about family and the 118 being the family they choose the camera is on Albert, Buck and Christopher, no one else is in the shot. And of course the song that is playing here, another song about home.

- The callback to Buck in 3.12 of Ana immediately guessing Eddie is short for Edmundo unlike Buck as well as Carla saying blue eyes (which Buck has) is also Subtext.

- Said it before but: the scene in 3.13 when they arrive at the hospital and Eddie asks Buck out to eat and then Buck changes his mind but Chimney runs off to call his girlfriend because he wants to have dinner so he can tell her he loves her like Eddie told him to do at the beginning of the episode is … interesting.

- I already explained why I think Shannon wasn’t in that many scenes in the video in 3.15 yet Buck was in most of them but it bears repeating. Also again it’s subtext that Buck is part of Eddie’s family and Buck is very important to Eddie and Eddie loves Buck.

- Also the question about the medal in 3.15 and the little boy at the end repeating the question, sorry, were we not supposed to think of Buck here, Tim???

- Also just in general 3.15 focuses very very heavily on Buck and Buck’s reaction - much like 3.18 later does with Eddie. All the non-Eddie scenes feature Buck and Buck freaking out about Eddie potentially dying and Buck making plans and being frantic and the driving force of hope cause homeboy cannot even for a second entertain any thoughts on Eddie’s passing.

- The rope metaphor in 3.15 / 3.16 is of course also subtext but I already explained that one and don’t have anything to add really.

- This one is a little bit of a stretch but I do think there is a reason Eddie was the first one to be taken out of the equation in 3.16 and because of his son and not a love interest.

- Also the pool playing scene in 3.16 there visually we see Eddie and Buck together in nearly all shots, there are two shots of Eddie without Buck in it but not a single one of Buck without Eddie in it and considering camera angles and actors literally being told were to stand it is deliberate that Buck is only seen with Eddie by his side here.

- I’m repeating a lot of things here but Buck refuses to say Abby’s name in 3.17 even though Bobby clearly knows who he is talking about.

- „No. He stopped waiting for me a long time ago.“ cuts to „Summer Camp?“ I mean sorry, what were we supposed to think here? Because this does imply he really did stop waiting because now he has Christopher and Eddie!

- Not to mention it sort of hammers home what I wrote before how Abby is dating a single father and Buck is sort of dating a single father.

- Also 3.18 puts a lot of focus in general on Eddie and his reaction to everything when say, Bobby, who actually knows Abby and was there for the relationship would have made more sense - unless they are pushing an agenda here!

The first person we have Abby interacting with at the traincrash is Eddie and then Buck joins them and the scene literally goes: Eddie *talking to Abby* > cut to Buck, coming closer > Buck: „Abby?“ > cut to both Abby and *Eddie* > Abby: „Buck?“ while the camera is still on her and Eddie > cut to just Eddie’s face having a realisation > cut to Buck

So sorry, why do we focus so much on Eddie here, Mrs. Lynch? Is there a particular reason, oh director, who art also directed 3.01 and which has also loads of Buddie subtext?

There is also Eddie coming to stand visually between Abby and Buck when Sam is loaded into the ambulance as if he is physically putting himself between them and then Buck running back toward the traincrash and Eddie following him after and all the shots of them and Christopher during the party together and once again having Bobby asking Buck if he is okay visually connected to Eddie, though in reverse this time because the scene goes from Eddie and Chris having fun to Buck and Bobby talking. (And should we talk about how this is the first time Buck actually answers the question because finally he has an answer or are we thinking about that right before sleep today when it’s easier to cry?)

- Also very interesting subtext is the fact that Buck and Eddie wear nearly the exact same colour and a similar cut pullover when Buck talks to Abby at the end and when Eddie says goodbye to Christopher and I mean, thematically both scenes are about saying good bye and letting someone go? But also it connects Buddie with each other and connects these scenes, which Idc, I probably wouldn’t have done without the clothes?

Not sold seperatly

- Also subtext / visual thing is the fact that Buddie is basically always with and next to each other at the firehouse and on calls (and before anyone says: well, they are partners, Hen and Chim aren’t as much), and that is a long list so I am just giving examples: in 2.05 they sit next to each other at the table while in 2.06 they sit next to each other on the couch and in 3.08 they sit next to each other at the table again and then we have 2.02 standing outside and 2.04 walking away from the scene together and Eddie handing Buck a weapon in 3.17 and walking toward the ambulance together in 3.13 and several other times, the point is there are a shit ton of scenes of them being right next to each other in case you thought that was a fanfic thing!

„The Buck lens“ / „The Eddie lens“

I’m pretty sure there is an actual technical term for what I am trying to describe here but basically there are several instances where we see Eddie the way Buck does, meaning while the scene shows us Eddie doing something the focus is on Buck watching this. Sort of POV but not quite I guess? Also the reverse is true as well, even if those scene aren’t as pronounced!

- Let’s talk about 2.01 once again as we have done for most of this meta and finally, finally look at Eddie’s first scene which we all know is sort of gay and the first time we see Ryan shirtless because Tim accidentally wrote a certain quota of shirtless scenes he needed to do into Ryan’s contract and he needed to get started on those right away.

Also please remember while we as well as the core four are watching Eddie get dressed „Watta man“ plays in the background, which, considering we are introduced to Eddie through Buck’s point of view might be the song playing in his head here? Anyways, back to the topic at hand and how we as the viewers don’t see Eddie until Buck turns around and sees him as well. Which is significant because several times through the conversation between Buck, Hen, Bobby and Chimney we see the locker room in the background so they could have filmed that differently.

Instead they had Chim, who stands off centre, noticing something while Buck banters with Bobby about how he will get to represent the 118 in the calendar, then the camera changes angle so we no longer stand between Bobby and Chimney but rather behind Buck, making him centre stage and putting a focus on his reaction to Eddie. In this scene we have Buck framed by two people commenting on Eddie’s attractiveness. Now we don’t get to see Eddie until we have gotten all reactions of the core four to him, with special attention to Buck, both in filming and text with everyone taking a jab at Buck before walking over to introduce themselves to Eddie which leaves Buck alone, watching.

(Now keep in mind this scene also has Hen basically say Eddie is so hot it transcends sexualities while „Whatta man“ plays as Buck slowly turns around and Idk, mate, that does seem shippy to me.)

- Another scene that focuses very heavily on Buck is when Eddie rushes and hugs Chris at the end of 2.03. In fact for most of the scene we see Buck in the car watching them.

- Also, the hospital scene in 2.04 and how once again we see Eddie interact with Chris while Eddie watches them because fuck knows why.

- Similar to the Buck lens we have 3.10 where Eddie talks to Hen about Chris while the two (or rather Eddie since he sits at the centre) watch Buck play with Chris and Danny. This is significant because Buck is also placed in the middle, putting him opposite Eddie and also making him the focus of the camera for most shots when the scene was about Christopher and Eddie feeling guilty. Huh, we say!

- Something similar happens in 3.11, which is the next episode several months removed when Eddie talks to Chimney about the 118 being their family and while this time Chris is the one sitting in the front, Buck once again is in the middle and also in focus in a scene shot from Eddie’s POV.

Other people reacting to them / commenting on them

Now, I am not sure if this is really Subtext but who knows where else it fits in? (This is a rhetorical question, only my opinion counts around here while I write!) So It goes here! And I think the title is self-explanatory enough.

- I’m a little on the fence on the Bobby looks because - no offence to Peter Krause - he doesn’t have that many facial expressions in general, but yeah, at the mechanics Buck watches Eddie and Bobby watches Buck.

- Our first real one of those scene is the truly savage tía Pepa who is a woman after my own heart because she says the mean shit to your face and the nice things behind your back because she loves you but she loves vibe checking egos more! And well, she is understandably confused by Buck’s being there at the hospital and asks Eddie who that is and why he is here and gives one of the best lines of the show by being so sarcastic, because oh, you work together? Damn, wouldn’t have guessed from the fact that both of you wear LAFD t-shirts! (I love her!)

- In the same episode Maddie comments on Buck’s boycrush on Eddie and while I am unsure whether that is supposed to make it sound less gay or it’s Maddie saying: Bro, you sound 12! but oh well! It’s a comment on them!

- I loath a little to include the elf in 2.10 because Tim has said that was an easter egg for Buddie shippers and a tongue in cheek thing but yeah.

- Also Bobby watches the whole „It’s a miracle“ exchange in 2.14 with that look.

- In 2.18 we get some text on the screen when they help instagram girl about how hot the both of them are and also how THEY should be dating which I’m putting into the same box as 2.10.

- The fact that Bobby shoves Eddie at Buck in 3.01, like sorry, why was it so relevant that this is the first hug?

- When Eddie / Ryan stared at Buck’s / Oliver’s ass in 3.04 we see Hen and Chimney grin about it.

- I know I have said myself that Maddie’s reaction in 3.08 was due to the fact that she just said: can ya’ll stop gossiping - and Chim and Buck were like: sure thing! and then started gossiping but still.

- There is Buddie flirting at the bowling alley in 3.13 and once again Bobby gives them the look and yeah.

- In 3.15 everyone seems very worried about Buck especially and they keep reassuring as if he were Eddie’s next of kin.

- Again a Bobby look I am unsure of but in 3.17 we see him giving them the look in the truck and yeah.

Other people’s heartache

Now, as I’ve said in the beginning, I didn’t wanna just include my perspective on Buddie, so I asked a few other people about this and while this isn’t a representative statistical number it’s still interesting, right?

(Also originally this Guide was organised by episode and I would have included the comments when the things came up but alas that didn’t work and I think I turned a little grey because of that)

@buckleysbabe:

When i first watched 9-1-1, I had no idea that Buddie existed (i hadn’t been on tumblr a lot at the time so I hadn’t seen gifs or anything) and when i started s2 I really thought they were just best friends, but then 2x10 and the ”you two have an adorable son” scene happened and Buck’s ”thank you” and the shy smile AND I WAS ON BOARD!! That was really the first moment, then I got the confirmation after 3x03 and the scene where Buck sees Eddie in the tsunami scenery, and then the whole Eddie saying theres nobody in this world....like in that moment I felt like they were seriously in love 😍❤️

About the 2x10: that scene has so many things. Like the water fountain in the back, Chris in the scene with them (like they are a family), then the elf saying what she said, Buck being for a second like ”huh?” and then you see the light bulb going on when he’s like ”ohhhhhhhh yeah” and then he says thank you 😍😍😍 saying HE IS CHRIS’S COPARENT. AND THEN THE SHY SMILE

@theleftboobgrabber

Right off the bat I thought they had chemistry but I think the entirety of 2×04 is when I genuinely started shipping it. Like.... the constant heart eyes, the support, Buck trying so hard to be there for Eddie and Eddie absolutely never questioning it, the look Buck gives Eddie at the fire house was absolute fire (when Bobby tells Eddie Buck asked for Chris to stay with them) like Eddie's like you did this for me??? And Buck has just this massive Big Buck Energy from where he's sitting like "get used to it" and I remember absolutely loosing my mind that Bobby got the hug and not Buck at the end of the scene like in what universe??? And yeah the rest of the episode is just the same but that feeling of 'that's the wrong man you're hugging' was the tipping point

@emotionalsupportfirefam

Okay so mine was kinda two moments?1) when Buck took Eddie to Chris' school after the earthquake and we see his reaction to Eddie's joy and relief as he holds Christopher and then spends the next episode trying to find ways to help Eddie with finding a suitable caregiver/ support for Chris and 2) the fact the took them whole of five minutes to go from 'rivals' to the 'dynamic duo' after the grenade call.

@evaneddie

Honestly? Literally every scene they have is romantically coded. The first scene of them, with Eddie being shirtless and us seeing it from Buck's perspective with „Whatta Man“ playing? That's subtext.

You can have my back any day? Yo.

The scene when the elf Blair(e) said they have an adorable son and Buck just said thank you instead of correcting her before he literally skipped away?

Eddie showing up at Buck's apartment and Buck not even questioning how he got in?

The way Buck is like a second father to Chris and protects him like one in the tsunami?

"THERE'S NOBODY IN THIS WORLD I TRUST WITH MY SON MORE THAN YOU"?! REALLY EDDIE? WHAT ABOUT LITERALLY ANY OF YOUR FAMILY? OR CARLA? Baby, that's love.

THE HALLOWEEN HUG?!

THE KITCHEN SCENE, THE WHOLE SEXUAL TENSION IN THAT SCENE?! BUCK'S HAND ON HIS BELT, THE GLANCES, "I'D STILL TAKE YOU", ON THE COUCH EDDIE LOOKS TO BUCK'S LAP, LIKE COME ON!

"You boys single?" *Looks at each other*

"This is Eddie's house, I'm not really a guest"

Buck's breakdown when he lost Eddie under 40 feet of mud. That was not the breakdown of losing a friend, that was the breakdown on losing someone you love. There's a meta I saw once literally just for this scene alone, the way Buck dug so desperately at the mud with his bare hands, the screams of heartbreak, the way he collapsed into Bobby, the pure dissociation as Bobby was giving instructions later on, Eddie's memories filled mostly with Christopher and Buck. Sure, the others were there, but, it was FILLED with Buck and Chris.

Then the ending scene of the season?! What was he trying to do with the necklaces? Thrusting his hips towards Eddie, hitting him in the face, then that soft touch on his face?

@adamngoodbuck

Hey! Nice question and for me really easy to answer. I started watching the show back in 2018 when it first aired but I was a casual viewer. Very casual. So casual I actually watched everything up to 2x10 and then I thought it was the season finale so I forgot about it. And then season 3 started. And nothing made sense. So I checked and welp, I had to catch up. And I did and something started brewing inside of me. I wasn't part of the fandom yet. And then. The THE SEARCHERS happened. And that scene. The there's nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you scene. My icon scene. And I was done. Hook, line and sinker.

@the-family-we-choose-118 

My main ones were all the big ones: the kitchen scene, the end of 3x03, the Christmas episode one where Buck is helping Danny and Chris make gingerbread houses and then plans a whole party for the firefam, Buck clawing at the ground in 3x15, Eddie interrupting Taylor Kelly when she came to the station to do the documentary in Dosed, the fact that Eddie was introduced from Buck's POV with „Whatta Man“, the entire earthquake episode where Buck is reassuring Eddie his kid is okay and then drives him to get his kid later on, and the scene where Buck introduces Eddie to Carla in (I'm pretty sure it's) the same episode where Maddie asks him if his boy crush on Eddie means he's over Abby (that was my main one). And I was fully convinced when Eddie walked in Buck's apartment in the beginning of S3 and ripped his blankets off him and was so sure he doesn't sleep naked/wouldn't have anybody over.

And the „official“ part of the guide is done but I do wanna say something else real quick which is:

You have just read about 20.000 words I painstakingly wrote over the course of several weeks and while I get that meta is even more harrowing to reblog than gifsets or fics because meta involves so much opinion and interpretation and what if you disagree with parts of it?

Well, again, I invested a lot of time in this and also: IF YOU DISAGREE TELL ME!!! TELL ME IN THE REBLOG OR IN THE TAGS!!! Because different to fics and gifsets meta is a dialog and I can’t have a dialog unless people talk to me! I’m not here to lecture you on right or wrong, I am here to tell you: okay, this is how the scene looks from my point of view, what do you say? So honestly, please consider liking and reblogging and tagging and maybe talking a little about it with me, because screaming into the void is so very boring

(And also in general: reblog reblog reblog! All these funny posts you see on buzzfeed and instagram screenshoted from tumblr? Half of them were made great by reblogs and all of them were noticed by these sites because of reblogs)

Anyways, before I (REALLY) let you go it would be hypocritical now to not talk about some people who inspired some of this (but ya’ll have to understand I cannot talk about everyone)!

I can however say these four especially helped me write this:

- @diggorypuff , who I have never talked to but whose posts about interesting parallels actually sort of got me into thinking deeper about this show: (X)

- @ingu, who fairly recently did a series of gifsets on Buddie and how Buck is framed as Eddie’s love interest which gave me life: (X)

- @matan4il, who is such an amazing friend and does the most concice and well thought out metas on Buddie without having to watch the show a million times like other people we shall not name have to (me, I am talking about me). Find her buddie metas here: (X) 

- And most importantly my girl, my babe, my love, @chimbuckleys who is the voice of reason between us and always lets me rant about stuff and was the sounding board for this and so much else I have written - I couldn’t do this without you! (ALSO I AM GOING TO BED NOW, BABE!!!)

AND DEAR READER, you made it! Now go have a blessed day and plant some trees because earth is dying and we with it!