#this is why i haven’t posted anything on here bcs i do a bunch of other bullcrap on photoshop

[kickbutts-singsongs]

I’ve had some thoughts about Izuku and his actions in the post-canon chapter that I haven’t known how to voice until this very moment so uh I just wanted to say that I actually saw myself in him and his decisions and here’s why:

(warning: manga spoilers and minor traumadumping)

I just recently turned 20 years old and I’ve been noticing that life feels a whole lot clearer now that I’m out of my crazy house (for the most part) and attending college, but I didn’t realize just how murky and foggy everything had felt up until now.

Like seriously looking back on it, I felt like my head was underwater and I was in a fishtank watching everyone pass me by. Some people would come up to the glass and reach out, but I didn’t really reach back bc I just assumed that since there was glass I wouldn’t be able to truly connect. Instead I kind of acted the best and brightest that I could, almost like I was performing tricks for them, in the hopes that they’d at least stick around, but I didn’t think I’d be anything more than a passing interest to them. But that was okay because I liked seeing the people and it was enough for me, I’d take what I could get.

Also some context: I was homeschooled as a kid and was a pretty isolated child whose only real connection to anyone was with her younger sister (which may or may not have been an unhealthy relationship) so when I finally attended high school, I went through those years thinking that everyone who ever met me wouldn’t really like me or want to stay connected bc if my own lil sis didn’t then who would? And though I did make friends, and they def reached out and touched the glass, I felt like I was this intangible thing that they would soon move on from and forget, once again leaving me alone in the water

Last year, someone came up to my tank and punched straight through the glass

And holy fuckin smokes everything changed

I have this dear friend that I’ve known for quite a long time (6 years now), but I never in a million years would’ve guessed that I had any real impact on her bc she was so well-liked and was surrounded by so many great people. I was just me.

But one night, she told me that I was her best friend.

Did I cry? Uh huh big time

But also?? My entire worldview changed????

Cuz WHAT DO YOU MEAN IM SPECIAL ENOUGH TO YOU FOR YOU TO DECLARE THAT OUT OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW, I AM YOUR BEST FRIEND

Basically, since then I have never felt more alive, and now I’ve decided that my days of being a wallflower to everyone I know and love are fuckin OVER

IM BEING PRESENT AND ATTENTIVE AND INSERTING MYSELF INTO PEOPLES LIVES BC THEY WANT ME IN THEM BITCHESSSSSS

“Wow, Song, congrats on the epiphany? I guess? What does that have to do with Izuku??”

Great question my friend

In my humble and lightly biased opinion, Izuku grew up without a bunch of self-worth and didn’t think very highly of himself. He also didn’t grow up with very many (healthy) friendships, and when he finally attended UA, he got his first dose of seeing people actually reaching out to him

But I think he was stuck in a daze of “Wow they really wanna be my friend? That’s crazy cuz they’re so cool and I’m just. Me.” <- similar to how I acted in hs.

And after all the ✨traumatizing shit✨ he went thru up until the end of the series, I think it’d be understandable if his life felt a bit foggy and murky, like he was existing but not truly living (esp if he never got a therapist or smth, but I sincerely hope he did) and he didn’t feel like he had much of an impact on the lives of his friends in hs other than his heroics (esp after he lost his quirk)

So my guess is that he just coexisted with everyone, counted his blessings, and then let everyone go after they graduated. It wouldn’t surprise me if the only reason he and Katsuki are as comfortable as they are in the epilogue is bc Katsuki was the one making efforts to reach out to Izuku for the past eight years, but again that’s my projections ashajkajaka

Anyways SO when it comes to the point where Katsuki’s driving and tells Izuku “if you treat everyone like they’re special to you, then no one actually is” I was shook to my core because that’s how I’d been living my life (and I still was at that point) so when I saw a lot of people criticizing Izuku for his seemingly uncaring behavior in rejecting Katsuki’s vague agency proposal, I couldn’t help but feel empathy for my boy bc I prob would’ve said and done the exact same thing. I don’t think I would’ve understood the importance of such an ask, or the impact I would’ve had if I’d said no.

And further on, when Izuku looks at Uraraka, someone who was a dear friend of his in high school, and notices that they never talk anymore and grew apart (partially bc he let that happen), he hears Katsuki’s words in his head and realizes that he’s right, and that Uraraka is someone that is special to him, actually special to him, and that he wants to rebuild that connection and put work in to keep in touch.

But I don’t think that means that that’s the end.

I think Uraraka is just the beginning.

My theory (my hope) is that he’ll start to look around at the people in his life (or currently out of his life) and allow himself to actually be in their lives again, to purposefully insert himself back in. To reach out, to connect. He’ll start being more aware of how his life actually impacts others, and how his life has meaning outside of doing things just to help people.

(And maybe he’ll re-evaluate how much he actually cares about a certain someone and notice how much effort they actually put into their relationship and wonder if they’re really just a friend to him but that’s my shipper heart alskllaksk)

Anyways uh I guess I had been neglecting my ‘thinking about Izuku’ duties for a sec so now I’ve just word-vomited a small essay that’s probably mildly incomprehensible but the point is that I care and maybe someone else will too so if u got this far thanks for reading 🫡

[wendytestabrat]

I know you haven’t done a Kyman rant for a bit, but I’m curious. I saw a post about someone calling Kyman a nazi bar, because Kyman fans excuse Eric Cartman’s antisemitism to ship him with Kyle. Your thoughts? I love your rant so I had to ask.

i think anyone who compares cartman to a nazi or hitler is fucking ridiculous and needs a serious reality check. like there’s a HUGE difference between a dictator who ruled over germany with an iron fist killing 6 million jews and some dumb ignorant fat kid who just makes bigoted comments sometimes bc he’s secretly in love with a jew LOL. also cartman is literally just a cartoon character, but even if he wasn’t and was an actual real person nothing he’s done is anything CLOSE to the harm that hitler caused. like cartman never once killed or caused significant harm to a jew, i mean other than the time he gave kyle aids LOL but besides that the worst cartman will do to kyle is tease him and that’s it. in fact cartman has SAVED kyle’s life multiple times…so yeah obviously this is not a hitlerian nazi bent on eradicating the jewish race that we’re dealing with here.

and if we’re being honest i’m pretty sure most 4th grade boys in the 2000s said a bunch of fucked up racist shit LOL (like when i was in middle school kids were just throwing around homophobic slurs left and right), so yeah that’s why i don’t rlly hold it against cartman bc it’s obvious that he matured and grew past that shit when he became an adult which we saw in the post covid episode, bc like most of his behavior is just him being a typical poorly raised and badly behaved child lol. that’s literally what cartman’s character represents and matt & trey have talked about that 35837393 times in interviews how the boys in south park represent what young boys actually say when they’re alone and not around adults. the fact that anyone would even make that comparison is just downright insulting and offensive to actual jews who have suffered real generational trauma from anti-semitism, so yeah the people throwing around anti-semitism accusations left and right over a damn cartoon should be ASHAMED of themselves. literally no one and i mean NO ONE is harmed by what some dumb cartoon character says on TV, but were people actually harmed by real nazis who threw their loved ones in concentration camps? um yes. i would suggest if anyone actually cares about stopping anti-semitism they should keep jews out of their mouth and stop using their real suffering as an excuse virtue signal to a bunch of innocent kind people online who are just having harmless fun (INCLUDING JEWS THEMSELVES) like ya'll are literally just pulling shit out of ur ass and making up a bunch of problems that don't exist that i can assure you most jews don't give a fuck about and are giving 0 thought to lol. bc like umm have u even actually ever met a jew before??? most of us have like a rlly dark ass sense of humor and know how to laugh at ourselves & fucked up shit LOL that’s why there are like 6894894532 comedians who are jewish. so yeah if you actually respected & cared about jewish people and their culture you would understand how extremely out of character it would be for a jew to actually care about the "harm" a cartoon jew and anti-semite in a relationship are causing. oh and south park is literally CREATED by a jew so um obviously matt stone doesn't give a fuck and finds it funny when the show does a bunch of messed up anti-semitic shit 24/7 and will have cartman and kyle doing a bunch of gay shit together LOL.

anyway i'm so glad that i'm a jew and i can get away with doing the 524825892 rants i do defending cartman and the kyman ship on here LOL so that people can hear it from someone like me that shipping kyman (even tho i hate calling it "shipping" it’s more like just explaining that a relationship dynamic on a show has some canon merit to it), hating kyle, and enjoying cartman is like completely harmless bc i'm sure if someone else tried doing the rants i've done they would’ve been more likely to get cancelled into oblivion FAST which is prob part of the reason why there were like 0 people doing kyman analyses (despite how popular the ship has always been) or defending cartman & pointing out how shitty of a person kyle is before i showed up on the block lol.

[starsstuddedsky]

Tangled in Love

vernon x reader

summary: there's nothing in the world that vernon loves more than cats. at least, that's what you think

genre: fluff, tiny bit of angst, non-idol!au, uni au, f2L, idiots to lovers, fake dating if you squint, technically university au

warnings: none!

wc: 3.8k

a/n: started this a WHILE ago and finished it like a month ago but i wanted to let it sit lol,,, may or may not have been the other option for the poll i put out and then i may or may not have forgotten to post.... anyways i am working for literally the whole summer until school starts again so i can't promise i'll be writing a whole bunch </3 so basically: enjoy bc idk when anything else will come lol (not going on official hiatus though!! just like... limbo) pls pls feel free to drop in anytime and chat!! also requests are open but again,, i'll write when i write lol

tldr: adulting sucks, i love you all, none of this has to do with the actual story lol

Vernon’s car sits in your driveway. The sight of his little red sedan evokes a strong sense of familiarity, almost as if it’s yours. It’s survived high school and his first three years of college, up till now, though the engine sometimes shakes the car a little too much and the air conditioning chooses to work less often than you would prefer. Still, the one time Vernon mentioned getting a new car, you nearly cried, so you don’t let yourself complain too much. 

He waits for you, keys in hand, as you tug on your shoes and sprint out the door with a shout of goodbye to your parents. Your shoes nearly slip off because you didn’t put them on all the way and they’re still untied when you make it to the front seat, slamming the door shut behind you and pulling on your seatbelt. 

“You didn’t have to rush,” Vernon says, barely sparing a glance at you. You do a supreme job pretending it doesn’t bother you. 

“Yeah, but my dad is watching hockey,” you say. Though it’s been years since Vernon has been to your house for a “play date,” you know the memory of your father yelling at the television as if the players can hear him isn’t one that Vernon (or anyone for that matter) can forget easily. 

“You know if you move out, you don’t have to hear them,” he says, finally glancing at you before turning his head to watch the road as he backs down the driveway. 

“If I move out, I also have to pay my bills on my own,” you say. 

“You have three job offers and you haven’t even graduated yet,” Vernon says. “Of all our friends, you are the most financially stable, so don’t you dare try that argument on me.” This debate has been going on ever since Vernon announced he was moving out; two years in the dorms on campus proved more than enough for him. 

You don’t understand why he’s so insistent about you moving out. Sure you complain about your parents occasionally but not enough to really matter, and he knows how grateful you are that they’ve let you stay in your childhood room and rarely let you pay for anything. 

So why? You set your eyes on him, with his annoyingly perfect features that you’ve known most of your life. He studies the road, indifferent to your glare and undistracted. 

That’s the Vernon you know: focused on the moment, and never noticing you. You know how pitiful you sound, pining for someone for so long who has never once spared you a second look. Still, before everything else, he’s your friend, your best friend. You won’t ruin that just because you caught feelings. 

“Why are we going an hour away again?” You ask, resting your back against the cushioned seats and turning your head to the window to watch the scenery pass by. It’s easier to avoid thinking about those feelings when you aren’t staring at him. 

“Because the people running the rescue needed a volunteer to pick up the kittens.” 

“And why am I here?” 

“So I don’t get kidnapped or murdered,” Vernon says nonchalantly. 

“How am I going to prevent you from getting kidnapped or murdered?” 

“Strength in numbers?” He takes his eyes off the road for half a second to flash a smile at you. 

You rolled your eyes, plugging your phone into the aux. “You should have asked Jihoon. Between his gym obsession and unbridled rage, the nonexistent potential kidnappers-murderers would never stand a chance.” 

“And he has good taste in music. Bump,” he says, bracing his arm in front of you as he hit a particularly large pothole. He drops his arm as soon as the car stops shaking and you ignore the urge to catch his hand in yours. 

“He does not, and you better not be implying I have bad taste!” You dig through your playlists, trying to find the Vernon-approved one. 

“I was implying but now I’ll outright say it.” 

“His playlist is just Bruno Mars and Harry Styles and one random Ariana Grande song.” You hold up the shared playlist for good measure. Vernon ignores you, refusing to take his eyes off the road. 

“Okay, not good taste, but better than yours.” 

“What is wrong with my taste in music?” 

“No comment.” 

“How have we been friends this long?” You ask. You can’t quite say it with a straight face; the idea of not having Vernon in your life is an absurdity you can’t imagine. 

“By the way, you need to give directions,” Vernon says. “I sent you the address last week.” 

You shake your head but dig through the messages to find the address, putting Jihoon’s playlist on to prove your point. Vernon pretends not to care, singing along to “Leave the Door Open,” as if he didn’t make fun of Jihoon a week ago because he played the song on repeat during his four hour shift at the cafe. 

When you’re being honest with yourself, you know you want more than riding in Vernon’s front seat and making pointless jokes. More than once, you’ve imagined what it’s like to go home with him and stay there, to wake up in his bed because you share it with him, instead of the times you drank too much and he slept on the couch (because of course Vernon is the type of person to give up his bed for his friend). Moments like that make it harder to remember that he doesn’t feel the same way. 

You were doing a great job of paying attention until the second half hour, when you got stuck in standstill traffic. In your mind, only a few minutes pass, but suddenly Vernon shakes your shoulder and your heart shoots bolts of adrenaline into your veins to wake you up. 

“We’re here,” he says softly. He holds your phone with the directions still open. The engine shakes the car; he must have literally just stopped. It takes a couple moments to remember that he drove you into the middle of nowhere to pick up some kittens to foster them (another bullet point in the ever growing list of why you love Vernon: he does absolutely insane things for what he loves. What would it be like to be the person he loves?). He stares at you for a moment and for some godforsaken reason, you think he’s going to kiss you. 

He points to the corner of your lips. “You drooled.” He laughs at your groan, turning in his seat and cutting the engine, tossing your phone into your lap. 

The door creaks when you pull on the handle but it swings open. You are extra careful when you swing it shut, being as gentle as possible. Vernon raises his eyebrows but doesn’t comment on it. You stretch until your back finally pops, jogging to catch up with Vernon who didn’t wait for you, striding up the smooth driveway. 

Warm pastel yellow greets you, a cute door that matches the array of flowers on the front porch perfectly. Vernon sneezes and presses the doorbell, stepping back to wait, shoulder pressing against yours. Even though his jean jacket and your cotton t-shirt separate you from really touching him, you feel a different sort of warm, a tingly feeling that spreads from your insides and makes you feel giddy. 

After a couple minutes, the door opens, revealing a smiling woman and a child that can’t be more than five clinging to her leg. “You must be the fosters! Sorry, it’s a little hectic today, but come on in!” She ushers you in, picking up the child. 

Some psychopath. You glance at Vernon but he turns his back on you, following the woman down the hall to a closed door. Whatever, it’s not like he needs to see you to know the jokes you make. 

“We’ve been keeping them away from the rest of the house since it gets so chaotic,” she says. “I’d love to keep them but we’ve got two toddlers and a hyperactive dog.” She sounds genuinely regretful, which you understand as soon as you step over the baby gate and into the room. It looks like it was a spare bedroom (you can’t help but think it’s for the children when they get too big to share a room), but the bed has been stripped and there isn’t any other furniture. In the middle of the room, in a nest of blankets, a grown cat sits and licks tiny balls of fur that mewl softly in protest. The black cat pauses in her grooming, studying you and Vernon while the woman and her child watch from the door. 

“Do you want to tell the lovely couple what we named them?” She asks the child. 

You freeze. Did she just call you a couple? “We’re not–” Vernon stops you with a hand on your arm, sitting cross legged on the ground and facing the woman and her child. 

“The momma is Pinky,” the child mumbles, barely audible. “‘Cause she has really pink feet.” 

You smile at her, though you’re still reeling from Vernon’s hand, which slips from your arm to interlace his fingers with yours. “Did you name her?” 

The child grins. “Yeah! But my brother named the babies.” She pouts. 

“I think Pinky is a great name,” you say. Vernon grunts in agreement. Pinky stands and wanders slowly toward Vernon’s hand (the one not holding yours), which he holds outstretched while looking away. Looking at you. You get to see the exact moment Pinky brushes her head against his fingers, watch the corners of his mouth creep up in satisfaction, watch his eyes slip away from yours as he strokes her head. She lets off a low rumble as she purrs, brushing her whole body against his foot before leaving him to study you. 

You’ve never thought of yourself as a cat-person or a dog-person (you love them all the same), but a life-time as Vernon’s best friend (and an abundance of cat cafes) have trained you in how to get cat’s to befriend you. You let Pinky move however she wants, hyper aware of Vernon’s hand squeezing yours once before letting go. 

He shifts to look at the kittens, earning a wary glance from Pinky. She watches him for a moment before turning back to you, brushing against your hand and eventually turning her back on you, purring like the engine of Vernon’s car the entire time. 

“What’s this one called?” Vernon asks, pointing to the orange colored kitten. 

“That’s Muffin, Momma named her,” the child explains. She stands at the baby gate alone, her mother off somewhere getting all of their supplies so that you and Vernon can leave with them. Her little fingers curl around the metal. “The black one is Fried and the white one is Egg. That’s what my brother named them.” 

Vernon nods, smiling over the tiny kittens. Pinky finally decides she doesn’t want him quite so close, leaving your side to place herself between him and the kittens. He laughs, sliding back to sit next to you. 

“There’s no way you don’t end up adopting at least one of them,” you whisper. 

“I have self-control.” 

“Wanna bet?” 

Vernon turns to look at you except he’s much too close, nose just barely brushing against yours. It takes all of your willpower not to glance at his lips, infinitely harder when you realize you can feel his breath on your lips. Would he kiss you back? You push that fantasy away immediately: it’s Vernon. He’d push you away and call you weird, or do that judgy-eyebrow-wiggle-thing that he reserves only for special occasions (most recently used when Soonyoung was talking about a hookup gone wrong). You’ve always been the one he looks at when someone does something weird; what would he do if it was you being weird? Your stomach turns, the butterflies eating each other alive. You can’t do that to him, no matter how perfect his lips are. 

You jump at the sound of someone clearing their throat. You turn back to the door to see the woman holding a cat carrier doing her best not to smile. 

“Not trying to rush you two, but the sooner they settle into a nice loving home, the better,” she says, winking at ‘loving.’ You really should correct her. Actually, Vernon should correct her. He always does, the very few times that you have been mistaken as a couple. He never hesitates, so why isn’t he doing it now? Does he really not realize what she’s implying? 

He stands up, turning to face you and extending his hands to pull you up. You roll your eyes but take them anyway, ignoring the way your heart sinks when he lets go this time. He takes the carrier and gently picks up the kittens, blankets and all, and tucks them inside. Pinky follows immediately after, as if she couldn’t bear to be away from her children for more than a second. 

“I have a box ready by the door with their food, and toys, and other supplies, and I know you said you have a litter box and you’re ready, but I just wanted to make sure that they settle in nice, and I added a blanket in case they’re homesick, and–” She pauses, peering at the dark holes of the carrier as if she can see the little kittens inside. She takes a deep breath, picking up her child again, stepping to the side so that you and Vernon can leave the room. “I know you two will take good care of them, I do, I just– I’m going to miss them.” 

“Me too,” her child says, clinging to her mother’s neck. 

The woman smiles. “But we said our goodbyes already, and they’re going to be so happy with these two, right?” 

“Of course,” you say when Vernon doesn’t answer. “He’s been obsessed with cats since he was smaller than you!” You wink at the child, who giggles. 

You pick up the box at the door, grunting at the heaviness. 

“We can switch,” Vernon says softly but you shake your head. 

“It’s just to the car, it’s fine.” Vernon looks like he’s going to argue more, but finally he steps onto the front porch, moving as gently as possible, trying to disturb the precious cargo as little as possible. 

“Thank you so much again,” the woman says, setting her child down. “We really do wish we could keep them, but it makes me happy knowing that someone capable will be taking care of them, especially an adorable couple like the two of you. Do keep me updated on their adoptions.” 

You force a smile and choke out a “thank you,” following Vernon mindlessly down the driveway after she closes the door.

Adorable couple, were her exact words and Vernon said nothing. Why? The word hangs on your tongue, threatening to spill out if you so much as open your mouth. You watch as Vernon sets the carrier in the backseat, then takes the box out of your arms and places it on the floor. You force yourself to move to the passenger side when he raises his eyebrows at you, but once you’re sitting down and the seatbelt is across your chest, you’re frozen again. 

Vernon takes your phone when you don’t move, putting in your passcode (the sum of his birthday and yours). He pulls up his own playlist, a collection of hyperpop and indie artists that you normally enjoy listening to. Today it takes all your concentration not to burst. 

You almost make it the whole drive, all the way to his block, the apartment building he’s spent the last year and a half in that’s become far too familiar to you. How much time have you wasted away on the floor of his living room, drinking, doing classwork, listening to him talk about the future, rambling to him about the midnight thoughts that threaten your heart? He knows everything about you, except what you need him to know the most. 

When the question begins to burn in your heart, you can’t hold it anymore. Vernon pulls into his parking spot and it falls from your lips before you realize it. “Why?” 

He has the audacity to feign ignorance, blinking at you before finally asking, “Why what?” 

“Why did you let her think we are a couple?” 

One of the kittens mewls in the silence, a soft cry for help, sounding pitifully like your own heart. 

Vernon stares ahead of him at the concrete wall, the fading red number 19 that designates this spot as his. Just say something, your heart begs him. Stop giving me hope where there is none. His shoulders rise in the tiniest shrug. “I guess I was just curious.” 

“Of what?” 

He swallows, Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. He glances at you, just once. “What it would be like.” He sighs. “This really isn’t the time for this conversation.” 

Your grip on the door handle is so tight your knuckles are white. So desperately, you want to believe he’s trying to say what you think he’s saying but you refuse to give yourself hope unless it’s real. “What conversation?” 

“Okay, for the record, I did think this through,” he says, “a lot. Like, for months. This isn’t coming out of nowhere, I really did try to figure out if it’s just a passing thing because the last thing I want is for things between us to be weird because you’re my best friend and I tried to imagine my life without you and that was worse than anything, so I decided I wouldn’t ruin anything except I can’t stop thinking about–”

“Vernon.” 

He pauses, turning to face you again and this time he doesn’t look away. You’ve never felt self-conscious under his gaze, not when he’s seen every awkward stage of your life and stuck with you anyways. His eyes have always been familiar to you, an oasis of comfort that you always find yourself drifting toward. But the longer he stares at you, the more you want to run away, hide from the heartbreak you see in his eyes. 

“I think I like you,” he says. “No. I do. Like, as in more than a friend. God, none of these words are working.” 

You stare at him. He’s saying everything you want him to say. He’s saying he likes you. Why can’t you move? 

Vernon runs a hand through his hair, and sighs. “Like I said, I don’t want to ruin things between us, you're still my best friend first. But I’m also sure about how I feel and I don’t want to keep it from you any longer. I can’t stay in this limbo of holding onto something that doesn’t exist, so, I’m really sorry.” 

“Sorry?” You repeat, frowning. “Why are you sorry?” 

“Because… I like you. And that ruins… this.” He gestures between you and him and that’s when you finally realize that he doesn’t know. 

“You dumbass,” you say, “I like you, too.” 

Vernon frowns, mouth hanging open a little, and you have to wonder if you looked this goofy when he was talking. Your heart swells when you realize you’re the reason for it. “You do?” 

“Yes,” you say, grabbing his hand. Your cheeks ache a little, and you realize that you’re smiling wider than you ever have before. You’ve never been this happy, not when you graduated high school, not when you and Vernon found out you got into the same college, not when you got a perfect score on that notoriously impossible chemistry final. “Vernon, I am an idiot that always thought you didn’t feel the way I did so I did everything I could to hide it. But I like you, I really, really do, and I’m sorry I never let it show.” There’s another word for how you feel, but you aren’t quite brave enough to use it yet, even if it’s what you really mean to say. 

Vernon leans closer, pressing his forehead against yours. “We really are dumb, huh?” 

“I can already hear Jihoon’s gloating.”

“He’s been nagging you too?” Vernon groans softly but the smile never leaves his lips. “He’s going to be insufferable.” 

You’ve grown used to silences with Vernon. Sometimes they are painful, like when he tells a joke and only you laugh. Usually they’re peaceful, comfortable silences that can only exist between two people that have nothing left to say but stay together anyways. But this silence is heavy, a weight on your shoulders pushing you to do something, move closer. You’ve known him your whole life but this is foreign territory. 

His breath kisses your lips again and this time you have the bravery to lean forward, just a little. His lips are soft, bottom lip chapped a little more than the top but it is warm and it feels like a first and thousandth at the same time, like unlocking the door to a house you know you’ll spend the rest of your life in. Your mind floats farther and farther away, in some place of impossible happiness that can’t quite believe that this is real. 

A soft cry from somewhere to your left brings you back to earth. You pull away at the same time he does, glancing at the backseat. Right. The kittens. You glance at Vernon, whose mouth is still a little open, eyes wide and flustered. It makes you want to kiss him all over again but you settle for laughing. 

“I guess we should go inside,” he says, leaning away from you though he doesn’t turn his back yet. 

“We should get them settled,” you say, glancing at the carrier again. 

Vernon nods, opening his door and grabbing the heavy box, pausing by the entrance to the building to wait for you to grab the carrier. Silence falls again as you ride the elevator up but you’re more than familiar with it. 

It doesn’t take long to settle Pinky and the kittens, not when Vernon already had a room set up for them. He figures there’s been enough stress for the day and they should get some peace and space to relax, so you stretch out on the couch, taking your usual corner. Vernon sits next to you, the inch of space separating you feeling like a mile. 

Vernon glances at you, chewing on his lip before asking, “You’ll stay?” 

“Always.” 

The grin that splits his face has you swooning all over again, so when he throws an arm over your shoulder, leaning into your side, your brain fully stops functioning. You have to will thoughts into existence, which is silly because it’s Vernon and he’s done this a million times. But when you tuck your head onto his shoulder and he kisses the top of this head, you know everything is different. And exactly how you want it. 

“You’re definitely going to adopt Fried,” you say. 

His laughter bounces you. “No way.” 

“It’s Fried or Muffin. You can’t handle their cuteness, I saw you baby talking at them.” 

“I'll stay strong.” 

“What if I want a kitten?” 

Vernon doesn’t hesitate. “Egg is pretty cute.” 

“Sucker.” 

“Only for you.” 

thank you for reading <3

[googledetective]

the theories that have been presented on this cast + one of my own :)

I do want to mention that I strongly believe this is a prequel due to a conversation I had with a bunch of people on discord earlier. (Everyone was 16+, dw.)

I haven’t seen anything about the first two at all so far, so I’ll be skipping over them and onto the third guy (oh my fucking lord).

(Also this post from @nesisamess helped a lot)

Staring onto the third dude,

(both posts are made by @zitherwaifuus :)

It seems that here this guy has some sort of relationship to XF-Future Tech, which if you’ve seen Min’s side story, you’d know is the company that came into her life and groomed her to be the Ultimate Student. She received special tutoring for them and worked her ass off for that title her entire life because of that. Next, this guy shares the same tie pin she does, and it’s also very notable that she dresses up with the same button down and tie in her MV. Not only do I think she is linked to the company now, but she might be working there before she was in the game. Who knows, though.

Next, I have not seen anything on the fourth girl besides a bunch of people on discord theorizing what the dandelion in her hair could mean. Unfortunately dandelions have different meanings from different cultures all over the world, so until it’s specified about where she’s from, I don’t think there’s many assumptions we can make yet.

Number Five, the purple guy.

Everyone seems to think so far that this is Elliot Cuevas, Charles Cuevas’s deceased brother. Now let me tell you that although I can’t see it based off design, the way he looks (playful and kinda weird but happy) and the way he was described by the creator in the latest qna (a popular joyous dude), can definitely make me see this being real. The only thing that is super far fetched about this is that we know he died a long time ago, and so if this is a prequel, it would have to be at least 15 years before drdt even starts.

Here’s also some more evidence from @sunlit-haru supporting the ‘that’s Elliot’ theory.

Now we’re up to the protagonist, who mind you is definitely my favorite so far. I will eliminate the rest of you protag dickriders so I will be the only simp left.

ANYWAYS, in the about page for this, it’s stated that this is a fangan for someone who wants to be the perfect teacher. Now with the hidden quote on the drdt tumblr page about this teacher…

( @demodraws0606 ‘s post)

Uh oh. I think we’ve figured out who this mysterious teacher might be. As for who is talking to them, I’ve personally got a few ideas, but they are not backed with any evidence.

1. The mastermind from this first killing game

2. Mai Akasaki or David Chiem still

3. The mastermind of the drdt killing game

Whoever it is, I think that these games are surely related and that each current kg participant does have a relation with one of these cast members. And that previous killing game’s end is why this one is happening.

Then, based off the post up top and a few others, people seem to think this is Teruko’s brother. I’m going to give a wild theory (no evidence) that Mai Akasaki knows him, only bc of the red in his hair. Then I think Mai would’ve found Teruko, and she would’ve been trying to reconnect them. Just a theory, though. There’s no evidence based around that this guy might be Teruko’s brother though, sadly.

Last but not least, @1moreff-creator pieced together some of the text on his badge:

I’m just gonna say that I’m seriously impressed with your efforts cause I have no fucking clue that could even be readable lmao.

*UPDATE ON TEXT: holy mother of god, @xmicrophonyx is a fucking god, and deciphered it. Here you go, and we all have got to give a serious thank you to them.

Sadly I cannot link the image of what the phone number gets to, but it gets linked to a yellow pill. I don’t have any ideas on how it would relate to the game, but I think it does. It’s used for high blood pressure and heart failure. If he’s really related to Teruko, I wouldn’t be surprised if he had high blood pressure lmao.

Also, the area code for 555 is just North America.

Here’s what I found on Wikipedia:

“The telephone number prefix 555 is a central office code in the North American Numbering Plan, used as the leading part of a group of 10,000 telephone numbers, 555-XXXX, in each numbering plan area (NPA) (area code). It has traditionally been used only for the provision of directory assistance, when dialing NPA-555-1212.

The central office code is also used for fictitious telephone numbers in North American television shows, films, video games, and other media in order to prevent practical jokers and curious callers from bothering telephone subscribers and organizations by calling telephone numbers they see in works of fiction.”

I don’t understand the first part, but it seems that this is a fictional number. If someone could explain to me wtf that first part even memes, I might be able to give more info.

Anyways, it seems that this guy ended up being a teacher at HPA, before or after the killing game. But I think this was very worth mentioning.

Unfortunately I’ve seen nothing about the next two, but I want to say that the girl in all pink (#8) I think is Felicity Giles, if that’s even possible. I just feel that’s Arturo’s sister. I know, I’m a weirdo. Even if #7 looks more like Arturo, I just cannot see it.

Moving on, nine and ten! If you look at them closely they’ve got the same eye pattern, suggesting they’re siblings, or likely twins, since they’ve got the fire/ice scheme going on.

Lastly, eleven which oh my god, Arturo’s dream girl! But she’s been theorized to be Whit’s mom. Here’s the post that argues a pretty convincing reason of why.

Oh boy. That woman is pretty cool and is very elegant, and has the same shade of blond hair that Whit dyed his too. I don’t think she’s any coincidence.

But joining along on that last little paragraph of this person’s post, it’s starting to seem a lot of characters do have connections to this cast and are seemingly mentioned quite a few times.

UPDATE: oh my lord, @accirax literally went on a deep dive for us and gave us a pretty good explanation and educated guess on everyone’s talents. I’m not going to link it because they covered pretty much every logical point as to why they have their guesses. Here’s the post if you haven’t already seen it https://www.tumblr.com/accirax/728687594893885440/drdt-new-character-talent-analysis

Anyways this is just the sum-up of everyone’s theorizing + a bit of my add on to it, and huge kudos to everyone who’s been making theories so far. I’ll be updating & crediting if there’s anymore notable things that come out.

Thanks for reading!

[pub-lius]

Hey, there! So who knew me watching a silly little 2 hour long musical would lead to me having a silly goofy little blog about it and being really invested in and researching the crap out of the Founding Fathers of a country which I'm not even a citizen of? Anyway, I just wanted to ask if you have any info on Ham's mom and dad, since I can't find much about them on Google and can't buy any books. If you've already been asked this before then sorry, I'll just go look for it

1) I KNOW RIGHT i have a little bit more of an excuse since im an American but this really is a rabbit hole

2) y’all have got to stop apologizing to me for shit i LOVE ALL OF YOU AND YOU HAVE NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR, especially not asking something ive already answered, chances are i haven’t, and there are even better chances that i’ll answer it again or just give you the link to where ive already answered it

and yes i do have information on them! i have information on a lot of people, which is why my dear and beloved son richie once asked me for a bunch of information that i made posts on and eventually assembled into a google doc! which is here! this has information on rachel faucette and james hamilton, as well as james hamilton jr., hamilton’s children, and his wife as well as a bunch of others! i figured id just give you the link in case you need anything else and also bc this has all the information i personally have about them, and i wouldn’t want to leave anything out

hope this helps! and thank you for the ask, they are ALWAYS APPRECIATED AND DONT FORGET THAT

[oreniaa]

About me!

Find me on ao3! I have works in: (✅ means that these works are completed and that I am not working atm on works in this fandom even if I have a bunch of ideas)

Dexter (1✅, 1🟧) - writing, multichaptered fic updating once a month

Stranger Things (1) - spontaneous updates (2/3 times a year)

Top Gun (1) ✅

Star Trek (1) ✅

Hannibal (1) ✅

Sherlock (1) - spontaneous updates, writing

Works planned in: the Primal Hunter (several slash + angst), Dungeon Crawler Carl (gen whump), Pkciv (one-off for someone 🤭) Hi, so I'll be putting things about me (fandoms, fun facts) here. It will probably get updated sporadically, but anyways if you have any specific recommendations for books or shows, etc then don't hesitate to ask me :)

Also!!! I take fic requests :) I’m in a bit of a writing block, so just request a fic from any fandoms below OR any you like which I may potentially be involved in!

Fandoms:

TV Shows (not obscure)

Hannibal - I am pretty familiar with the show, I'd say I'm not an expert but I'm no beginner either

Sherlock BBC - OMG I LOVE THE FANDOM, I have so much head canons but I can never get to writing :(

House MD - i love myself some malpractice MD :D

Merlin - used to be more obsessed, but I still love it, especially soulmate AUs

Psych - YES THE BEST, I've recently started watching this but I really love it

Stranger Things - I have watched all seasons & ofc, I AM A BYLER WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT NO IM NOT DELUSIONAL

Star Trek - mostly TOS & AOS, and I REALLY dig Tarsus IV, Academy pics and Spirk childhood friends w/ Tarsus

Books & such (not obscure)

The Inheritance Cycle - read all the books and halfway thru Murthag & i am really sad that there's not more fan work about this series :(

Fractalverse - YES I DIG IT SO MUCH ITS AMAZING, Kira is so badass, I love her, and there's barely any fan work on this, so... give it a try?

Grishaverse - decently into this, I have a lot of head canons but not much time to write anything bc I procrastinate too much

Obscure stuff

Lupin (the Netflix series) - I NEED MORE MORE MORE, in my head Assane, Benjamin and Guedira are in a throuple because why not

B13 (District 13) - I watched it once and... what if Damien was a trans guy? I see it.

LitRPGs

note: I have too many good litrpg series that I am reading. I have read most of the mainstream litrpgs, so you can hit me up whenever about that

Dungeon Crawler Carl - **IF YOU HAVEN’T CHECKED IT OUT THEN DO IT** in the process of writing an angsty whump!Carl fic hehehe

HWFWM - I adoreeeeee! There’s just so much humor, angst and of course an MC with dark powers :D

(on a tangent here about HWFWM, i image this clive/jason oneshot 5+1 which is basically 5 times people didn’t know who clive’s wife was + 1 time they did)

Reborn as a demonic tree - YES.

Tree of Aeons - yeyy.

Cradle - obv yes

Primal Hunter - love it! (however, I do hope that Jake doesn’t end up with a harem bc it’s not rly my cup of tea) ++ I unironically ship Jake with the Fallen King. In my lil AU, the fallen king’s nickname is Green :D

Other writing:

I write poetry mostly but I do some original stories, and occasionally I will try out playwriting or some other media

my writing is usually depressing and dark, which is exactly why I feel I can write well - so don’t hesitate to hit me up on that! I’m welcome to any discussion :)

tell me if you want me to post some original works!!

Fun facts:

I can do the 3x3 Rubik's cube in 30s

my method to write is just to put depressing adjectives next to random nouns, tweak it a little... and there. p o e t r y

that's all :)

[morgsdrew]

tldr at the end i think this is pretty annoying to read idk its in red

normally i wouldn't send this kinda stuff but honestly the ever changing list of reasons you dislike/like having me interact is making it really hard to decide whether to send one of those character interaction things .

because if you're fine with me then it's good to send it because you want interactions and i like writing but if you don't like me then if i send it you'd just be irritated and i wouldn't be able to tell

because you obvs haven't confirmed or denied such things considering the list was made by my brain which i wrote down to try and rationalise

not trying to bring down your mood or anything just giving context for the question im about to ask

is it like weird or annoying or clingy if someone keeps like sending you stuff about morgan or just like interacting with you

i dont want to do that if it is you get what i mean

because it feels like you don't like me but at the same time it could be anxiety speaking and i don't want to like put assumptions on you

but at the same time i don't want to assume that you're fine with me and then have it turn out i've been annoying all this while

idk why i'm typing this because even if you did dislike me / my characters people don't usually just say that kinda stuff to people's faces

this is like the tenth? time i've revised this ask it should not be this long (very sorry for that /gen )

are there like interactions that annoy you so like i can avoid that i guess /genq

please like feel free to ignore this i mean something this long in your inbox is probably also pretty annoying i guess it just felt like i should clarify things but at the same time what if this makes me annoying

i should probably stop like revising this ask every time i do it i feel the need to clarify more like at first it really really formal but it felt too not genuine but if i send like this what if you can tell who i am and then think i'm making things up for pity points or something and what if you didn't dislike me but now you do because of this and its getting really long i am so sorry

TLDR: are there like any forms of interaction that annoy you like ,,. someone interacting with your blog too much or something because i'd like to avoid annoying you and a bunch of miscellaneous stuff that i don't dare to delete because what if you want the context to this question or something but

yeah please feel free to delete this or something i don't know i've been pondering over sending something like this for days who knows how long which may make me seem weird i don't know i just need to know if i should or shouldn't interact i guess ? sorry

i feel like this is like about some asks i haven’t replied to (or won’t reply to) so here are the reasons why i don’t

i have no clue how to reply (this is like … the major reason and the biggest reason)

some people have sent asks like their character & mine have interacted before… when they haven’t… so i dont reply to that bc… how will i when i dont know where their relationship stands ifykwim?

asks that just says “hi” or something along the lines of that .. IM SORRY I JUST ?? idk i don’t vibe w it bc i love interactions w flavour you know?

connected to number 1; i have no clue how to reply because i don’t get it (and maybe the reason why i don’t get it because the ask is like the one in number 2 or i’m just slow as fuck)

i guess that’s all ?? should’ve clarified that i’m more comfortable doing novella with people i know / morgan has an actual relationship with — if you want that, interact with her posts (then again, it didn’t mean i will reply because of the reasons above)

i do try to formulate replies but in the end it’s just turns into an ugly writing that i give up .

[j2zara]

YAAAAAAY EHEH I GET TO SEND YOU A BUNCH OF ASKS 💖💖💖💖💖(<- these ones are just me being excited)

💖📥👀📊🍰🌝💻🧠

HIIIII SORRY THIS TOOK ALL DAY im so exhausted which is why i feel like my answers are not the best but here u go

💖 What do you like most about your own writing?

Argh…. Ngl i sent this one to more than one person in the circle of perverts bc I want to force ppl to say nice things abt themselves and now i gotta do the same thing. I feel like my answer before this year would’ve been my dialogue!!!!!!! Like. I do think i’m good at that. It’s hard to even say that because I feel like when I do enjoy a good quip and i feel like whenever i reread my original stuff im like “oh. I’m so marvel brained”. I don’t think dialogue is my strength in cloneverse tho.  At least. I don’t think it stands out. But otherwise that’s what i would land on.

Maybe it’s bc i’ve been in a very sorry for myself slump lately bc my current wip is giving me such a struggle but i don’t even know. Before now and my latest wip driving me crazy I would’ve said. Maybe coherence or theming? Like i don’t even know if thats a thing i CAN say like is it possible to be good at themes? Sorry im being so hard on myself rn I think if i were to look at my writing i would say i think it’s halfway decent but i don’t know the answer to the question…

📥 What is your fave fic to receive comments/messages on?

Oh this is an interesting one. For such a long time the answer would’ve been my old Talentswap fic for DR, tbh it always was like. Surprising and honestly kinda nice to get like a random comment of someone being like ‘hey i just discovered this! Sad its not updating but i really enjoyed it!” something like that. And I think b/c it was multichap it was very interesting and different when ppl were reading Almost for sure.

My secret weird answer is IYWD. Like. I’m at peace with the fact that its practically dead and nobody is gonna find it again i guess but a small part of me still considers it my favorite thing i’ve done in a long time so nobody does comment anymore but. That would be the thing i secretly kinda want. I’ll take literally anything tho obviously i love anybody that ever comments on anything.

👀 Do you have any WIPs that you would never let see the light of day? If yes, what are they about?

I have a Love is Blind au for a fandom I’m not gonna mention. Idk i might’ve mentioned it somewhere but eh. Its like ten chapters but only the first 5-ish are done i’m kinda 

And i’ve talked abt this this isn’t really a. Like. Oh I’m hiding this forever thing but. I have a DR Togakure hookup fic that’s written like. To take place during a naegiri wedding like in the post first game canon. And it is one of my favorite things i’ve ever written even tho it is smut, ngl my friends have been trying to convince me to post it and i might but im genuinely terrified nobody is gonna read it and im gonna be. Sad about it

📊 Current number of WIPs

Lol um… lj3porter fic. I’m two sentences into twelfth night coded j2 wooing Jace for Porter fic. Unfinished creeper Jace + j2porter fic…  a Jace topping Zara zarajaceporter fic. A fic that is in the IYWD verse that’s like a prequel that’s normal SB related. And if we could old fandoms I have semi abandoned talent swap (the ch 3.3 doc is like 10k lmao). Love is blind au.

If we’re counting original projects. My fantasy pseudo taming retelling. Horror comedy / locked room mystery called Date / Die. I have a. Sports romance (don’t look at me). And my weird lofty rom com thing that is this decade spanning story and used to be abt a “platonic” romance but idk I was like. They’re best friends they’re the most important ppl in the world to each other and they like having sex does that make this a normal romance. Maybe. Maybe not.

So ten. Yikes.

🍰 Name one of your fave comfort fics (doesn’t have to be your all time fave).

This is such a weird pull b/c i haven’t read it in years but Wing Man is a Bokuaka fic thats one of my fav of all time that makes me so happy idk its so like. Sweet and tbh i feel bad i never commented on it i really should bc they deserve to know i still think about it. but i just don’t reread fic all that often even my favs.

Actually that’s a lie i just remembered! I’ll cite something recent and i’m a little shy to cite something from the circle of perverts but also this is completely sincere i know i jokingly call @innskeep bambi’s LJ3 fic the perfect piece of fiction all the time but i do reread it… I just like them. I think it’s really cute and i like my little guys…  I love getting J3’s pov so much like i genuinely think its so comforting and special…

🌝 Who is one character you haven’t yet written for that you would like to?

I won’t lie I have a total DurDawn soft spot so like. I do think it wouldn’t fun to write something small for them. Also fucking hilarious as zukkacore that I’ve never written zukka and like. In my heart I would like too but they’re almost too precious for that? It’s hard to explain. Actually another answer might be for Mailee I actually think Mailee is soooooo underrated as a ship bc they have so much potential to be good for each other that wasn’t able to foster under azula’s thumb so I like that slightly toxic edge 

💻 Do you do research for your fics? What’s the deepest dive you’ve done?

I do a little bit of research but honestly not at much as i should. Last super deep dive i did was on the different filipino mythologies and history throughout the different regions bc ithink that subject is so interesting. but that has nothing to do with the sb circle that was for my own stuff. Lately I had to look up a little bit of elvish for something sb related lol. im such a fake fan of LOTR i love it but i’ve never actually read the books

🧠 What’s an idea you have that you can’t quite call a WIP yet?

A few! I’ve talked abt Jace hireling au I think that would be fun. And I joke abt Clone gamechanger au all the time and I SAID I wanted to try and make it work so like. Maybe. I’d love to try clone gamechanger au i think its funny and cute and i wanna do something indulgent.I feel like i’m forgetting something. Jess has real estate in j2porter vegas roleplay so i kinda wanna try maybe doing J2porter 50s housewife roleplay as a sort of sequel? I still like the idea of doing a You’ve Got Mail Shop Around the Corning fic. And. I feel so so so so indulgent wanting to write LJ3 stuff but like i just like them. I don’t know what i would wann write for them but i just like them

[baekhvuns]

HIIII BAEKSSSSS I missed you 😔 how are you? Wsp? How's everything?

Man, I've been pretty peaceful I'd say..kinda idk. Maybe the calm before the storm but that's besides the point. I miss your work so so so much 🥹🥹🥹 like rlly, not wanting to pressurise you just GIRL RLLY MADE 2022 SUCH A GOOD EXPERIENCE.

Anyways I've been watching a ton of stuff ofc, found a new pakistani drama 😈😈 well it's kind of the same plot as u wld guess, but I like this one it's like if not a lot then a bit diff frm the same ass dynamic. It's like a first daughter x youngest son the fun part is it was supposed to be, first daughter x first son but he was a jerk and a red flag. So yes...it'd be fun, it's a silly dynamic imo ik for sure there are going to be a ton banters.

ALSO dude these asmr Rps be getting Outta hand 😭 Nah cz i cried. I CRIED. THE ANGST OHHHHH. Some asmr artists are just so fucking good like alanakamakwk i felt like I was in a movie.

Lemme tell u a bit abt it, so the concept was basically, an old bsf comes back into the listener's life not in a bad way or anything just cz the bsf lived farrrrr away.

"do you wanna see the new tattoo i got?"

LIKE OKAY and then we did trace them too and a while later the convo goes deep "i got this tattoo bcz u told me seven years ago, what you don't rmr?" And then he sort of reminisces over the old times

"and that day..I went home, and texted you how much I liked you. And wanted to hang out with you a bunch.."

"that didn't happen I never texted you."

BRO OMG OMG ONWKWJWKW IM TELLING YOU THE FREAKIN TENSION BW ME AND MY HEADPHONES.

And then the best part was the listeners bf calls who also used to be friends with the bsf, and goes "i love you."

In hopes of hearing it frm us too. "Dear...?" Silence.

NO CUZ IMAGINE STANDING IN FRONT OF SOMEONE U ACTUALLY LOVE AND U GOTTA SAY ILY TO YOUR BF WHAT??? OMG.

And then when he comes out to go run errands he talks to the bsf AKA THE ASMR ARTIST I TELL U HIS VOICE *melts*

"we'll see you right?"

"... farewell"

That's the visual representation of me I'm not even kidding. And....he just leaves. LIKE THAT?? WHAT ABOUT US AHHHH *dies*

Nah but yes, I've been obsessed now. At least it makes me feel something 😮‍💨

Ok also no way my old Bollywood obsession is dying anytime soon *listens to bol na halke halke*

Anyways bye bye baeks MAKE SURE TO TELL ME ABT YOURSELF HOW U DOING AND STUFF OK?? OK MWAH ILY 🤭

YOU SENT THIS LAST WEEK AND I JUST KIND OF LOGGED INFBWNDBSK SO SORRY

i hope you’re doing well!! i’m currently sick bc of a heatwave i caught at a wedding 🥰🥰

i’m glad you’re feeling peaceful! AND DHSKDHKW DONT MENTION IT FNDMSKC ITS BEEN 2 YEARS 😭😭😭 maybe my writing bug just dimmed LMFAOOOO haven’t been on here or read anything, ive been in my drafts just giggling and reading but never like posting or writing fbdndb but ive kind of, maybe wanting to write something for fall time which i’m not sure ill post but it’s got me smiling a bit!

WHAT IS THE SHOW TELL ME 🔫

omg i can never get behind asmr, i have this thing called misophonia, i just despise the way the arm sounds make my ears feel fmandksb i just feel triggered BUT U CRIED BC OF IT WHY 😭😭

u gotta send me the link of it bc the voice actor u say… 👁

does our bollywood obsession rly die 😭😭 the new tauba tauba got me going a bit crazy,,, heard the jannat bgm but sad version and iM OBSESSED WITH IT, it lowkey inspired me to think and write <3 got me giggling and imaging stuff <3 in my pillow fbwndbsj

[clamsjams]

7, 15, 33:D

just realized that reblogging an ask game means that i’ll have to remember which numbers are for which question pray for me anyways

7. thoughts on cucurucho & the federation?

oh boy ok i have lots of these but i’ll try to condense them. cucurucho is very confusing and acts very contradictory at times and the feds are very weird and shadowy. what are their goals and motivations? we really don’t know. i like speculating on them and i think it would be interesting if cucurucho was working for the feds against their will or was brainwashed or something, but in my opinion i just don’t have enough evidence or data to say anything for sure

15. favorite pov(s) to watch?

i watch a bunch of povs, i actually follow every single qsmp creator on twitch, even the ones that haven’t played in a while, like kameto, and i like to swap povs if something more interesting is happening, like fun interactions. but for actual faves? i’m trying to not let my biases affect this lol bc i love max and his lore but he doesn’t have the translator in english most of the time and that makes it hard to watch for me. i adore slimecicle when he’s on bc he’s sooo good at going with the bit, and i actually like just having antoine in the background while i’m working. i can’t understand anything bc i’m not paying attention to the subtitles but it’s usually just some chill background noise

33. name a character and what they remind you of (ex color season food scent anything)

pac and mike remind me of like 90s bowling alley/arcade carpet, neon colors, laser tag, and arcade smell idk why but like arcades have a smell and they make me think of that.

antoine smells like when u go outside and u can smell that it’s going to rain, it’s all heavy and u can just feel it. also when u shine a light through a prism and u get those scattered fractals of light with little rainbows, i see him in those

maximus is hugs. giant bear hugs where u don’t let go for like 5 minutes and then u know u have to let go but neither of u want to so u kinda shuffle around in ur kitchen and it’s awkward and u can’t actually do anything like that but u don’t wanna stop hugging. max is soft, have u ever gotten wet, like u went swimming or got caught in the rain and ur soaked and shivering and then u get a towel and dry urself off a bit and get out of ur wet things and then when u finally get into dry clothes it’s all warm and soft and cozy and wonderful? that’s what maximus reminds me of

this last one got long and there’s way more that i could’ve written, for these characters and for others but i’m gonna end it here, i might make a separate post for more of these tho bc it was a fun exercise

[trumspringa]

{Fata Organa} Rock Bottom Isn't The End, You Can Always Go Lower

Two weeks ago, I was surprised to find a marble-sized mass in my left tit. It felt exactly like a cat’s eye marble had apparated into my tit. I somehow got in to see an OBGYN (not my usual one) the following week, and she decided that, yup, there’s a hard mass in my tit. I should add that, it was a painful mass only if it was being messed with, so getting felt up by doctors wasn’t exactly comfortable. In fact, after that appointment (where she set me up to get a bunch of scans done just this week), the entire left side of my chest has just been aching. Like I got punched directly in that area. She also changed up my BC script because I have been in constant demon spawner pain for about 3-4 months now? I don’t remember how long, but it’s just been constant and consistent. The answer to that question was to try a different hormone level and check that potential antichrist foundry later to see if it’s covered in tumors now instead of “just cysts”. Anyhow. Tangents.

So, the OBGYN confirmed there was a mass, got me schedule to get scans done in the hospital area so that the doctor there could go over the results as the scans were being done.

That happened on Tuesday. Between those two appointments, I was just increasingly irate with life. Because I knew this wasn’t going to be cancer. I didn’t know what, exactly, it was going to end up being, but I knew that it wouldn’t be anything that would actually do me that favour of killing my dumb ass. I’ve been wanting out of this shitfuck of a life since I was 5. Why would I start getting what I want now. So, I was just irritated that this would, at best, be something that would just continue to cause me pain and be nothing any doctor would DO anything about.

Boy, was I right!

Turned out to be “fat necrosis” caused by the, wait for it, car wreck. And, wouldn’t you know it, they don’t do anything about it but just leave it in there to continue to cause pain! Yea! I guess, why not, right? Why would I need my tits not to feel like I was routinely getting used as a punching bag? Not like I’ve got people lining up to feel me up or anything. I’m a fucking troll, in need of bridge and three goats to harass.

I am so fucking tired. Of everything. You have no idea.

As you can imagine, I haven’t had anyone to express these feelings to. For some reason, people get real weird when you say you were hoping you had cancer so it could kill you and you wouldn’t have to deal with this shit anymore. I couldn’t even post on my bluesky account that I was going in to get a mass checked and I didn’t want any comments about it, I’m just venting in my social media account, without people completely ignoring that and leaving comments about how “everything will be alright”. No. It won’t. Because you don’t know what that means for me. And I asked you not to do that.

On top of this, I had a neuropsychological evaluation don last month and got the results of it this week. They … I’m still not sure how to describe them, but the first thing I read on it stated that I was the youngest of three siblings (I am the eldest) and stopped reading it. I didn’t come back to it until today when my therapist could go over it with me. And she also had issues with it. Some of the things we went over that we both were confused by:

They claimed I relied heavily on a cane and had mobility issues - while I did have to relearn to walk after the car wreck, I haven’t used my cane in years. It’s been collecting dust in my car for at least two? I think I took it out once to herd the birds back into the aviary once? At any rate, I didn’t have it with me at the time of the evaluation.

They also stated that I seemed preoccupied with the potential degradation of my cognitive function and that they didn’t understand why, because (according to them) I am within the “average” range for all the shit they listed that I’m not going back to look up and list here. Within the span of a handful of paragraphs, they then mentioned how they got my records from the last speech therapist I saw, who diagnosed me with “mild dementia”.

They also mentioned how I only talked about my TBI. Bitch, what the ever-loving fuck was I there for. I didn’t know this was a date. I thought I was having a neuropsychological evaluation done. What the shit was I supposed to talk about.

They claimed I had a learning disability. For maths. That just magically appeared after my car wreck but that I totally had the whole time? Despite never having an issue with maths, ever? Despite my job being and Accounting Tech at the time of the car wreck?

We didn’t get through the entire evaluation, so we’re going to pick back up on it next week, but I felt better that my therapist was also just not feeling great about it. I would say, just for this specific incident, that going over their use of “average” and how that term feels to someone who operated above average for 34 years was incredibly helpful. Because, that word and how they used it, did a lot to make me feel like they were dismissing the trauma I went through in the car wreck. It was a high speed, rollover car wreck. I wasn’t wearing a seatbelt. My face detached from my skull. But I somehow managed to avoid a brain injury?

I don’t know how I really feel about all this shit right now. More often than not, my default is to just be angry and exhausted, so it’s difficult to know if that’s how I truly feel right now. I feel like I hit rock bottom ten years ago and got out just far enough to grab a shovel, get back in the hole, and start digging.

EDIT TO AD: on Friday, 28MAR, the OBGYN I initially saw for mass called me to let me know that while she agreed with the radiologist that the mass is most likely not cancer, she didn’t feel good about just leaving the mass there and me in pain because of it. She set up a referral for me with a “breast specialist” (which, I was an adult for once, and didn’t laugh at), and I’ll see if there’s anything that can be done about it.

[hadrasaurus]

so it Ben a while since I posted anything about Droannasaur out side of that vote which apparently no one cares about but why haven’t I posted anything for almost two months well cause I was not just having fun on my vacation but I also was making something to honor some I know

you see there was a another accident I knew of called @starquarck they were a sort of person I would talk to sort of but I like them and there art but one day they disappeared and out side of a few places there is nothing left of them

I want to honor them and make some art which were Droannasaur comes in these will be dinosaurs and other prehistoric creatures in @starquarck art style or at less a attempt I hope you like them and @starquarck where ever you are I hope you’re doing well.

here’s one of there art as well as it description for a example what there work was.

(starquarck) So yeah ig here's the redesigns of N and Uzi

Though I write eN like this bc one letter names are anoyying bc they dont show up in tags so now N is eN 

And Uzi-yeah she ain't Doorman anymore bc I decided Drones didn't pick up on having surnames (and also she kinda isn't Khans daughter anymore buts that's not important rn *cough cough *)

So like Uzi is in her early twenties or late Teens in humans like yk age the same for eN

Uzi is a door guard that is unsatisfied with her job bc all she really does is watch out if the Drones that go outside to collect stuff come back after a certain time if not they're deemed dead and she yk really wants to so something against it so she secretly makes weapons behind her - semi adoptive dad? Back. Though she has troubles actually making good guns without them exploding in you're face

eN is a Disassembly Drone from the newer Bunch that got send to Copper 9 bc of the problem with the runaway A. I that also got aggressive and defensive so now they need more D.D to exterminate them, eN is from the newer models so she supposed to be more efficient in hunting em down but eN has a bit problems with doing so because of her a bit soft hearted nature she feels bad hunting them when they all defenseless (though thats why she hunt those down who have some kind of weaponry on them that makes her feel better about killing them)

Idk tbh im kinda disappointed with the series the more i think about it, it has so much loopholes and lost potential i just ig made this semi au/rewrite thingy to satisfy myself.

Coming soon.

[fleurum]

🐇,

[imrllytootiredforthis]

Addicted

Pairing: Felix x reader

Summary: You’re obsessed with him, enchanted by him, too bad he’s taken...

Warnings: fem!reader, dom reader, sub lix, handjob, marking, slight humiliation, slight degradation 

Word count: 5k

A/N: I’ve had this written for like 2 weeks now but felt bad about posting bc i have a whole bunch of requests that i haven’t gotten around to. so if your one of the people that requested, dunno when i’ll get around to it but i will, i have like a million wips rn and i’m trying to get through all of them

It was a bad habit, you knew. 

Smoking.

You’d been a teenager once. Had the professionals talk about it, listened to all the same bullshit warnings; that your lungs would turn shrivelled and black-that cancer would bloom. Seen the pictures of the smoke-free lungs compared to healthy ones.

You knew it would end up killing you. You weren’t stupid. 

But they filled you with warmth, calmed you down, made everything feel a sort of numb as you stood out on the balcony of the apartment.

There was shouting inside, laughter and talking, the others all hanging out, having fun. 

You were supposed to be in there. Your step-sister-Avery had invited you, told you that you needed to make friends and get out more but you didn’t really feel as if you fit in with her type of crowd.

They weren’t actively trying to make you feel that way of course-in fact if anything they were very welcoming, asking you about yourself, trying to get you to contribute to the conversations, you just...

You didn’t know really how you felt, just that you told everyone that you would be right back, and now here you were cigarette hanging loosely from your lips, nicotine filling your lungs.

It was a horrible habit really-one you had thought about breaking dozens of times but never did.

You could stop anytime you wanted, if you wanted to but you didn’t need to yet so there was no point.

The slider door opened behind you.

At least smoking would take your mind off certain things.

“Why’d you leave?” Certain things like this.

Warm arms wrapped around your torso, head falling onto your shoulder into your hair, inhaling the smell of you. You and your slightly floral scent-perfume, maybe? 

Of course along with the pungent stale smell of the smoke. 

A smell that he hated in the beginning-it made his eyes water and his nose screw up in distaste. It was gross and bitter, a foul odour that reminded him of grime and dirty crowded cities.

But now the smell was you. It stained your clothing, lingered in your hair, clung to you like a second skin. It was addicting.

“Not really my scene y’know? Needed a bit of a break.” You sighed, twisting around to look at him. 

His hair had gotten a bit longer but you liked it. A bit shaggy and a bit messy but boyish, cute in a way that made you want to play with it all the time. He had talked about getting a haircut earlier that week but you’d managed to convince him not to. 

After all, the longer it is, the easier it is to pull.

That was your winning point to sway his decision.

“You should go back inside Felix. The others will notice that you’re gone.” 

He cocked his head to the side, hair moving along with the action. “Why? Don’t want me around?” A small pout adorns his lips with the question, bottom lip pushed out in a way that makes your heart do flips in your chest. 

You did.

You really, really did.

You wanted this more than you could even put into words.

Wanted to stay like this for just a bit longer. The feel his arms wrapped around you, his attention focused on you. Wanted for this to be a normal thing that happened, a normal thing that didn’t only happen when he was horny.

But he wasn’t yours.

And that was all just a fantasy.

You knew that.

You knew that too well as he nuzzled his nose into your throat, lips finding purchase against your neck. You took another drag, deeply sighing out, body shuddering as he whined for you to touch him-anywhere.

As he whined about how needy and desperate he was for you-somewhere-anywhere would suffice. As long as it was warm flesh against warm flesh, soft skin against soft skin, you touching him.

A moan slipped out, followed by another as he nipped at your pulse-point. “Please?”

His hands softly pushed your hair back, fingertips grazing your jaw, moving it out of the way for more purchase. “I need you.”

“Felix.” The words were a plead more than a command. A beg for him to stop, for him to make the decision you were too weak to make.

Because it was so hard to turn him down. So hard to tell him no because you wanted this-god-you wanted this so bad. Wanted to make him feel good, wanted to fill every single thought in that pretty little head of his. Wanted every single one of them to be you. 

You. You. You.

Only you.

Even if it wasn’t true, you loved to live in the delusion of it-the fantasy make-believe world where maybe, just maybe he could be yours.

“Please, touch me~”

The cigarette hung loosely from your fingers.

“Felix.”

His breath was hot as his mouth moved lower, down to your collarbone. “You know you want to.” He muttered lowly, kissing up your cleavage. “And I want you to.”

The smell of him, you couldn’t even name what it was but it was utterly intoxicating-so much more than nicotine could ever be.

Some part of you came back and suddenly you were very aware of the voices still talking and laughing inside.

She was right inside.

Finally, with that thought, you were pushing him away. “Felix no, your girlfriend is right inside that door.” You stepped back, far enough that a good three feet of space stayed between you-almost as much as you possibly could on the small porch.

He blanched, trying to step closer before you held out an arm, pushing his chest back. “It’s okay. S-she’s with the others-she won’t come out here-she won’t-”

“No.” The word was concrete but your eyes stayed trained on the ground as it was spoken, avoiding the puppy eyes you knew would be staring back at you if you were to look up.

And if you saw them you knew it would be over for you. You knew that. He knew that.

“Please, I need you so bad.” The words were agonizingly enticing but you’d been around him for long enough to build some level of immunity to his charms. 

“Please,” he took a step closer again, brushing away your arm as your eyes screwed shut. 

You couldn’t see him but you could feel his breath fanning across your face. “You can do anything you want to me. Push me around, punish me. Just fuck me.” He pressed himself against you, showing you just how hard he was for you.

“I’ve been so bad, so, so bad. Need you to just fuck me back into place.” 

Before your brain even comes to terms with his words, his hand was clasping around your wrist-the one with the cigarette in hand. Quickly bringing it up to his shoulder, pulling down his shirt to expose more skin. “Put it out on me.”

You’re sure your mouth is practically hanging open at the thought, lust pooling deep inside of you. “Do it-please!” He shakes your hand, desperation filling his eyes.

It would be easy. So easy to give into his whims. To let yourself fall into the trap of his desires...

"Miss you so much." His voice takes on a certain kind of desperation, lips trembling. "Need-need your touch so bad. Want you to bruise me, mark me, ruin me."

So, so fucking easy. To go along with it.

With a heavy groan you shove him away once more. He whimpers as you drop it onto the ground instead, snubbing it out under your foot. 

“Not right now.” The finality of the tone has him sulking and whining but you ignore him as you pull out your phone at the vibration of a notification.

You sigh at the contact name on the message. The real reason you wouldn’t give into his whims. 

Why you wouldn’t grab him by the throat right now, kiss him until his lips were raw and red, tease him until he came in his pants and make him walk straight back into there with his shame and your ownership stamped on him like a bright neon sign.

Because of her.

Avery: He’s with you rn, right?

You: Yeah

The dots pop up, signalling her typing before they disappear.

You: Why?

Avery: He just didn’t say he was going anywhere and I got worried

You: Worried?

Avery: Ofc! Why wouldn’t I be?

You: Avery.

Avery: Fine. 

Avery: I left with Hyunjin like 5 minutes ago, we’re heading over to his place for a bit

Avery: Can you just tell Lix I was idk, sick or smth-literally anything it doesn’t matter as long as he doesn’t come looking for me lol

You: Okay.

Avery: Yeah, maybe invite him to stay over at urs or smth, I won’t be back at our place til tmrw and u guys are friends so it won’t be weird.

And there it was. Both the reason you rarely ever felt bad and simultaneously felt incredibly guilty about what you had with Felix.

Because while he was out with you, she was out with someone else too, so in a way you guess it kinda nullified it? 

Made you sleep better knowing that you were fucking the brains out of a taken man?

You weren’t very sure to what extent either of them knew about the other’s rendezvous. You were sure he knew that she was cheating on him but doubted he knew it was his friend that it was with at the moment. And if she knew what was going on between you and him well she didn’t say anything and that was a pretty dead giveaway that she had no idea.

Because she was a hypocrite, not above starting a confrontation and spinning it around to make you and him seem like villains and her to be the helpless victim of the story.

Even as she was out with one of Felix’s best friends doing god knew what, knowing how much it would hurt him. But you guess that wasn’t so different than what he was doing to her.

“Hey, you wanna come over to my place? We can watch a movie or something.”

He perked up immediately at that, nodding quickly. “Yeah!” He knew what that was code for. He glanced down at his phone. “Should I go tell Avery I’m leaving?...Nah it’ll be fine, I’ll just text her later.”

“Okay cool, let’s go.”

The fire escape off the balcony landed right into an abandoned alley, perfect so you wouldn’t have awkwardly say goodbye to all of their friends.

You broke into a brisk walk the second you were on the ground, Felix having to almost run to catch up with you after he got off the ladder. “Hey! Wait up!” He shouted.

“Then hurry up, slowpoke!” You retorted over your shoulder, not slowing the pace. 

Your own apartment was pretty close, only maybe a 10 minute walk but it was still cold as shit and you’d given Avery your jacket earlier. You hadn’t really registered the chilliness on the balcony before, have it be the smoke or Felix you didn’t know.

“Hey!” He panted as he caught up.

You rolled your eyes, trying not to smile at the way he linked your arms together, swinging them happily.

He looked happy.

A smile across his face-his eyes still slightly clouded and the bulge in his pants still ever-so present but seeming to be fine ignoring it for now, even if whenever he took a step too long or too short he’d have to suppress a moan.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket again. Probably Avery. 

You ignored it.

Probably another update about her and Hyunjin, a reminder to keep Felix with you. Another reminder of how fucked up this whole situation this was.

“Do you ever feel bad?” You asked suddenly, the words blurted out before you could really think them over.

He let out a surprised noise. “For who-Avery?”

You nodded and he made a small noise of consideration, thinking it over before replying. “Not really, no. Really why should I? She was the one that cheated first.”

It was true, he could remember it all very clearly. They’d only been together for a few months at that point-basically nothing really but very quickly had either of them gotten attached. 

He vividly remembered walking in on her with some other random guy when he came home from working on a group project after school. 

He remembers standing there, frozen in place. Not wanting to watch but being unable to look away. 

Stuck in his body. Feet glued to the floor. Eyes frozen on them. Forced to watch her moan out the guy’s name, for him to smile and leave a kiss on her lips, groaning out about how she was such a pretty little slut for him.

The next thing he knew she was gasping, pushing the dude away, yelling out Felix’s name in alarm. The guy was pulling out of her, eyes wide in shock.

And maybe he didn’t know she was with someone-maybe he was innocent in all this mess. 

But she wasn’t.

And then his feet finally moved and Felix was running out of the room, trying not to cry as he threw himself into the guest room, locking the door and sliding down it, covering his face with his hands in an effort to hold back tears.

He could recall all of the sobbing and pain and apologizing that first time. 

She’d wailed all night long like she was the one that had been the one to walk in on their girlfriend fucking another guy. 

She refused to leave the house even when he yelled for her to pack her shit and leave. 

She stayed, sitting on the other side of the door, banging and crying for him to let her in. For him to let her explain herself, like that would somehow make anything better. 

She promised to not do it again. For two hours she kept that up until finally he cracked and let her in. 

She cradled him in her arms and wiped away his tears, cried with him for a bit and promised and swore and crossed her damn heart, assuring him that she’d never ever do it again. Held him tighter when he gritted his teeth and told her again, to leave. But she refused. She grovelled and pleaded and ‘justified’ her actions for a second chance.

He’d ended up forgiving her of course but, surprise, surprise, only a few weeks later it happened again. The whole process repeated with the guest room and the begging and the promises. 

And it happened again.

And again.

And the time after that. 

Over and over until it got to the point where he was used to it-expected it. No longer did he lock himself in the guest bedroom, all that would happen with that was she’d get bruises all over her hands from banging on the door and complain about it the next day as if it were a routine and nothing more.

And he wouldn’t say he was exactly happy with this arrangement but slowly with each new guy he became practically desensitized to it. 

When he came home from classes and saw her giving a guy a sloppy blowjob on the couch that had been Felix’s before they’d moved in together he simply sighed and rolled his eyes, ignoring the bitter twang in his chest and telling the dude to get out.

When he’d gone to a party with her and realized she’d disappeared only to find her practically dry-humping some random dude in the kitchen he’d just told her he was going home and to not wake him up when she came in.

It hurt, yes but through all of that he stayed with her. Why? He didn’t really know, maybe it was something to do with the fact that she was his first serious relationship and he liked the security of the title. Maybe because he was scared about how she would react, what she would do.

But for whatever reason he always stayed loyal throughout it all.

That was until you came along.

You, sitting in front of him in lecture hall. You who got decently good grades so the teacher’s paired you up with him, asking you to tutor him some days too if you were to have the availability, You who had a step-sister, through your dad’s marriage to her mom who just happened to be his girlfriend.

You.

You, you, you.

Who made him not want to be loyal anymore. Who made him laugh and smile and want to leave his cheating girlfriend once and for all.

And suddenly it was no longer the security of the title that kept him around, her anger or her small scraps of love only given when he begged for it. 

It was you. Who reminded him how it would affect not only them but all of their friends, who reminded him that she was your step-sister and the issues and drama that would come along with breaking it off with her.

But that didn’t stop him from wanting to.

He remembers the first time he came onto you, it was only about two months ago-56 days to be exact-but who was counting?

It was during a tutoring session, he’d been watching you. Observing the way you bit your lip when you concentrated, a slight furrow in your brow. Fixated on the way your tongue would dart out to quickly wet your lips before you spoke. 

Watched and watched until without really making the decision he was leaning in and kissing you and you were kissing him back and finally he understood how little Avery meant to him.

He could almost feel phantom hands on his body, remembering the way your’s had immediately gone to his hair, tugging at the silky strands until he moaned and then you realized what was going on.

You’d pushed him away all too soon, panicked and frazzled, yelling at him about why he’d ever do that. 

Did he know what this meant?

Had he really thought over what this might do?

Did he realize how Avery would feel? 

What this could do to you and to her and to-

And then he was kissing you again-desperate and needy, making you gasp out, grasping your hands by the wrists and placing them around his waist. 

And then your hands were back in his hair, all over his body, taking and giving and feeling and exploring. Then he was under you and any thought about how Avery would feel was the last thing on your mind.

The whole experience was different. Then anything he’d had and anything that you’d had, in a good way.

After that you didn’t want to stop seeing each other and she was starting to question why he was getting tutored so much. 

It started off as just sex and that wasn’t a morally good thing by any chance, but you could rationalize it. 

You told yourself that you could stop anytime you wanted, if you wanted to but you didn’t need to yet so there was no point. And it would be easy, because there were no feelings, not as bad of a betrayal. 

But it quickly turned into more than that. 

To laying in bed afterwards, him curling up in your arms, pressed up close against your chest, fiddling with his hair, and taking in the way he smelt. 

To enjoying each others company and nothing more during these moments-small bursts of time that started as one of you leaving right away, to staying for a few minutes, to staying for a few hours simply talking. About nothing. About everything. About your family and his friends, how your week was and how he wanted to be a professional dancer someday.

To suggesting good restaurants to him and to personally showing him to them. To days that one of you were in the mood and the other wasn’t, so you’d cool down and cuddle instead. To inviting him over for movie nights and making dinner together. To doing things without the idea of getting laid at the end of the night even in either of your heads.

And did he ever? Feel guilty about any of it?

“No.” Felix stated with a certainty in his tone. “If I could go back I’d do it all over again.” You unlocked the door and gestured for him to go in first. “But you never know...”

The keys were placed on the counter, “Never know what?” You questioned distractedly, shoes slipped off along with his. 

“I might feel differently if you keep teasing me,” He rested his head on your shoulder, whispering into your ear. “Maybe I shouldn’t have even come to you...Avery would’ve helped me back at the house you know-”

Before he could blink, his body was pushed back, stumbling until his knees hit the couch and he feel backwards. And then you were on top of him, knees of either side of his hips, lips inches away from his.

A dark look had crept into your eyes, flickering over the length of his body hungrily. He shivered almost violently, he couldn’t help it.

“Wanna repeat that for me, kitten?” Chills broke across his skin at patronizing tone you spoke in and he was once again reminded of how turned on he already was.

His mouth was dry and his body burned in anticipation but he wouldn’t reply-couldn’t.

A dangerous sneer replaced the smirk, malicious intent written all over it and fuck, it left him throbbing and holding back the whimpers climbing up his throat. “C’mon pretty little kitty, you said it so confidently before.” Your hand brushed over his thigh and he whined, a pathetic sound that rolled off his tongue like an angel’s call to your ears.

“Say it.” You demanded, tipping his chin up to look at you.

“Please,” He whispered.

A single brow of yours raised, unimpressed. “That’s not what I asked for.”

He shut his eyes, unable to look at you. “M-maybe if you won’t help me,” His voice wavered, turning to a mumble. “Ma-maybe...Avery w-will.”

Your smile was large but the action didn’t convey to your eyes. Mirthless and dark-in lust or anger he couldn’t tell but could only hope it was both.

That was the only way you’d fuck him the way he needed to be right now.

“Really?” You growled.

His breath hitched. He was very accustomed to this version of you. The version that came out when it was just the two of you. Here and now. When he was needy and you were willing. When he begged you to do anything you wanted to to him and you would grant him that wish.

It got you into this head space where you wanted to remind him who he belonged to-not Avery certainly. It made you want to break him down and build him back up again just to remind him that you could. To make him forget who she was and who he himself was and the only thing left falling from kiss-bitten lips would be your name and begs for more.

He knew Avery was an especially sensitive topic to bring into this moment. To taunt you with her name in the way he’d just done. In a way that undermined your hold and control over him in these moments.

After all, you were nothing if not possessive.

And he fucking loved it.

Because now you were going to show him. Show him how good you could make him feel. Show him how well you knew his body and make sure he knew that plenty could try but no one could make him feel the way you did.

The laugh that came next was cold as your lips travelled down the smooth expanse of his neck. Nipping over his jugular, sucking harshly at his pulse point. “Does she fuck you better than I do sweetpea?” He could do nothing but moan brokenly in reply, arms grasping helplessly around your shoulders.

“Can she make you feel as good as I do?” Your hands dragged over his body in the seconds, touching him so slowly, so tantalizing.

Was this heaven or hell?

“Does she make you scream like I can?” It took a perfectly timed stroke to the words and he felt like he was go crazy with want, losing grip on reality, liquid heat filling his body with need.

He couldn’t even begin to try to figure it out in this moment.

Felix shook his head, frantically trying to find his voice but to no avail. You let out a chuckle. “When was the last time she touched you?”

And this time it seemed like you wanted a legitimate answer, pushing your body up and off of his, hovering over him. Those few inches of space devastated him, leaving his body cold and tingling for your touch again.

Your eyes trained on him, expressive and pushing, prompting him to answer the question. 

“L-last week.” He finally croaked out.

At long last-which was only really a few seconds but felt like an eternity, you were back on top of him, bodies snug against each other. “Only last week?” You pouted. “Lixie, thought I was special, th-”

“-Y-you are!-”

“-Ah ta ta ta,” you clicked your tongue at him like he was a misbehaving dog. “No interrupting me sweet thing.” You scolded, pulling up his shorts to reveal unblemished skin of his thigh, kneading the flesh in your hand before continuing. “Thought I was the only one who got to see you like this.” 

Grip turning harsh, you pried his legs apart, setting between them. “But it seems like you’re just an easy slut, opening your legs for anyone.”

He whined, pulling you closer to him if that was even possible, hiding his pink stained face in your hair, trying his very best to control his body. To keep his hips from jumping up and thrusting up against you like his body was aching to.

“No-she doesn’t make me feel the way you do. She doesn’t-” the words cut off into a moan of pure unfiltered unholiness.

“Doesn’t what? Doesn’t stroke you the way I do?” You taunt, slipping his shorts down to find...huh, no underwear, couldn’t say you were surprised. “Commando princess? And you say you aren’t a whore.”

Dragging the heel of your hand up and down him, slow and sure. “Only a whore for you~” he whispers through pants, breathing becoming erratic and irregular as you pick up the pace, increasing in speed.

You can’t help but laugh at the quip. “Whatever you say princess.”

He mewls, watching your head dip out of his view as your tongue continues your mission along his throat. 

Tasting and teasing but careful to leave the skin unmarked-a certain amount of level-headedness able to still keep control over the horny thoughts beginning to run rampant.

Hand slipping behind his head you softly twine your fingers into the long hair you’d begged him not to cut and suddenly tugged, quick and harsh, giving you more space to work with.

You’re still level-headed.

But Lix has other ideas-rational thoughts replaced by wet dreams, hips chasing your hand for more and fingers threading through your hair. “Mark me-fuck! Bite me-please-bite me, bruise me!”

Something inside you thrums with heat and you gently scrape your teeth down his neck. “Dunno baby, can you really take that?” 

He nods quickly, unable to keep his body from squirming anymore. “And what about Avery? You want her to see you all pretty-covered in bruises from another woman?”

“Yes! Please do it, m’ yours-wanna be yours!”

You freeze but he doesn’t seem to notice, too lost in his haze of pleasure, fucking up into your hand.

He’d never said that before.

You’ve called him yours-your slut, your pretty little thing, your whatever felt right in the moment but never had he said it.

...And the level-headedness was gone.

Your teeth sunk into his skin, leaving him keening, arching, tightening his hold in your hair. “M-more, please, need more!”

Happily, you could oblige to him and his request, carrying on with more teeth, more sucking, more fervor and a primal desperate need-like you needed to prove something-to Avery? To him? To yourself? Who knew.

Certainly not the boy under you who had lost any semblance of composure-not that he’d had very much to begin with.

A strangled sound akin to a sob left him and his legs wrapped around your waist, his eyes slipped shut-wanton cries and hiccupy gasps filling the room. “Please.” Was all he could say, your hand moving faster, matching rhythm with his thrusts.

“Trust me princess. When I’m done with you, you won’t even remember your own name.” The hiss in his ear had his mouth falling open, no sound coming out.

Finally you pulled away just a bit, admiring your work. 

A piece of art that consisted of reddened patches of skin that would soon fade to purple. His cock, pulsing and throbbing his your hand, working up and down his length smoothly due to the copious amounts of arousal leaking from the tip. And lastly, the best part was his cute little fucked-out face.

Stroking his cheekbone lightly with your fingers, a slow smile crept across your face. His mouth hung open, eyes screwed shut, brows furrowed tightly. “And you sure as hell won’t remember Avery’s”

You were addicted to him, yes. 

Just as much as that little deathstick you couldn’t seem to stop smoking. 

But truly, in the end, could something that felt so good be so bad?

[arodabi]

I kno all this ship talk is getting annoying but i just wanted to make a post explaining why the way alloros treat aro characters bugs me specifically. And then I’ll shut up, maybe

I want to make it clear that i do not care if a couple assholes online write fanfic where aro character kisses ppl or is in romantic relationships. Y’all are right, some fanfics here and headcanons there don’t matter. I’ve been in fandoms where small groups of fans got mad that a character was a lesbian and started blogs just to post about how actually she was 100% straight. That’s still bad and I’m not here excusing those ppls homophobia, but it was also like a small drop in the bucket compared to how much fan content existed portraying her as a lesbian and canon enforcing it as well. At the end of the day it didn’t change her identity.

And i haven’t seen this as much but i have seen some ppl declare Todd bojackhorseman (one of the most prominent asexual characters) to actually be allosexual bc they hate ace ppl or something. I also honestly don’t give a shit about that. Not only do most people know that Todd is canonically ace, he has multiple plot lines in the show about being ace. Saying he’s not is just factually untrue.

But when a character doesn’t have those plotlines, when they never say asexual or aromantic, when all the in canon confirmation we have is “it’s just not my thing” or “I’d rather have a dog than children” or “I’m not x identity I’m nothing” or even just an external tweet from the creative team confirming it, it’s a lot easier to erase their identity. Fuck, I’ve seen a character say “i am incapable of feeling romantic attraction, i never have and i never will” and ppl still not only deny that they’re aro, it’s not even questioned that they’re alloromantic. Every time i post offhandedly about peridot from Steven universe being canonically aroace, i still have aspec ppl every time comment about how they never knew she was canonically aro bc the entire fandom continues to deny and erase her canon identity.

Ppl say “uhhh one fanfic isn’t gonna change a characters canon identity sweaty :)” “one persons headcanons don’t negate canon :))))” but when Everyone does that it does erase their identity! When nobody acknowledges it then a bunch of aspec ppl don’t even know they’re being represented! Fandoms will take scraps of tweets or one line references to enforce and prove their ship or head canon is actually canon, but when writers say “this character has never been in love” or “this character cares deeply about others but would never dream of dating or marrying anyone” then it’s “uwu but that doesn’t prove anything! U don’t have to be a heartless aro to not be a fan of dating uwu”

When the only confirmation we have is a line or two and everyone wants to steamroll over that bc their ship is more important to the point where PEOPLE LITERALLY DONT EVEN KNOW THAT CHARACTER IS SUPPOSED TO BE AROMANTIC then i have a problem! That is erasure! You are taking away our representation! You literally are doing that! And not to get into speculation but if a bunch of creators see that people fucking hate when a character is canonically aspec, they might not want to give us rep if the whole fandom turns and says “fuck you for doing that, you’re ruining my experience” i’ve seen at least one creator say “I’m not gonna confirm this characters identity because it will piss people off” when that character was previously known to be aromantic. So thanks for that i guess. I’m glad at least that there was backlash to ppl erasing yelenas identity, enough backlash to get aromantic to #2 trending which i have never seen before. At least now people are aware of her identity, at least aspec people know that she shares our identity, and when it inevitably gets erased in the MCU, at least we’ll know to be pissed about it. But for many others, ppl just don’t know, because everyone chooses knowingly or unknowingly to cut that characters identity away from them, bc idk they think someone being aspec is boring or smthn

My final conclusion i suppose is just, if a aspec representation falls in the forest and nobody ever acknowledges it, does it benefit the people it’s representing

[coldercreation]

Would you mind posting an update on what snippets are in the works rn?<33 Like which are indefinitely on hold, which prompts (or like how many) you’re working on etc? Can’t wait for the next one!

Ohh hmm, let’s see!

I have a bunch of unfinished things floating about, I tend to start new ones whenever I’m stuck writing something or just get a brief idea in my head. Usually, whenever I get a prompt, I write down whatever comes to mind for that. These unfinished docs I have are anything between like a single sentence to a few thousand words.

These are all WIPs and I keep adding stuff whenever the inspiration strikes, and basically everything I write has been inspired by a bunch of different prompts! 

In no particular order:

The Sad!Kitty story.

A very AU version where Isac's meeting Lit for the first time, out on a night out. He’s just on a demon rampage bc he wants to have sex for the first time lmao this prompt was so creative and funny, love it<3

Nathan trying to celebrate an achievement only to feel dismayed bc his mum is… his mum (she’s happy for him but Nathan still ends up feeling like it isn’t a big deal after all. Too many feels to explain here lol). He protest-buys himself a chocolate cupcake and sticks a candle in it. It’s more of a feel-good one than it sounds here.

Pretty early on into their relationship, Kit comes home from work to find Nat in pre-heat and starting to nest. I have posted a text conversation from the beginning of this snippet.

Alpha!Nat AU: “Ok if you’re doing AUs, how about some twists: Nat growing up in a pack w the boys, as an alpha, with no og hurt background? What would he be like? What would the pack and the dynamic be like? Maybe his first rut w them? (—)”

Literally just a couple of lines of Nat being all blushy and thinking how Kit is so handsome, and then saying it out loud when called out for staring. 

Lizzy snippet, just them hanging out when they were still just getting to know each other. I have posted bits of this at some point too.

Nat being a good boi and doing more kneeling, but also finally getting to satisfy his curiosity for using his mouth. 

Lithan, basically the As just getting handsy with a sleepy Nat. I should start a sleepy boys being filthy soft on the couch -series at this rate hahhaah

Litzy meeting Sammy for the first time

Izzy having a panic attack over uncertainty with his birth control :( This one is just a few lines and I don’t like writing it bc I hate feeling Isac like that. The prompt asked for Isac having something rough happen & how he'd react, and I figured it’d be a good way to explore his issues with this topic. It was not a good idea I hate it why did I think I should scare him with one of his biggest fears horrible let my bunny be happy!!! 

Link visiting Nathan’s family

Link visiting Liam and Kit’s home town/families. <-This doc basically only has this one line. 

Izzy coaxing Nat into wearing some pretty underwear because he knows the As would pass out. Nat’s not personally that into wearing anything like that but he’s not against it and finds out that he’s very much into the reaction he gets lmao

More stuff with Nat’s friends

Some less specific angsty Nat snippets/notes

A filthy prompt-fill for the filthyspicy anon who wanted some spicy free use Nat. Anon you are filthy and I love you hahaha<3 

Liam getting teamed up on by everyone else until he’s all whiny and babie and loved to death. Or well, it’s mainly Kizzy bullying him while Nat is being v helpful and a good boy, and doing what he’s told to keep wriggly Liam in place. Heavily based on a prompt as well.

Izzy’s heat/preheat/nesting/instinct stuff, nothing specific in this yet, I just want to write more about it at some point

Haven’t started this but I do want to write more about the Lizzy dynamic where Isac/his O is the more dominant all the way through

Ohh and I have a couple of lines of some more Lucy and Nat just hanging out but I don’t know what to write for it so it’s just… there.

I have some more but these were the ones I could easily see just by opening my docs.

SO uh yeah. I keep trying hahahah I’m just having a hard time completing things :’) These are all technically actively in the works, so nothing is on hold, but my 'actively' has been a bit ehhh xx