#this is why evil morty gives rick the choice but then tells him he knows the outcome

[homophyte]

okay since i am literally just sitting here waiting for like 45 minutes for my meeting to start. i am so so so hesitant about the episode

the real fear i have is that the self awareness is going to end here if that makes sense? like the disappointment the hollowness of the ending is just going to. not matter and ultimately rick is just a badass who does whatever and. all that. i kinda doubt it but fully honestly i dont 100% trust the writers to commit to the ideas theyre laying down if only bc the show has for so long been averse to commitment of any kind. its just a sitcom. the next episode will always be a reset of the status quo. etc.

and what really needs to happen for this to be pulled off well is for that to not happen at all. nothing can be the same this needs to be as impactful as the dimension switch from season 1 which the show itself directly compared it to. and i hope that making that comparison means thats whats gonna happen. but i really dont know! i dont know. i have this sneaking sinking feeling its not gonna happen.

i wouldnt say i have like, problems with the episode so much as i have reservations with it. what makes prime work just, conceptually, is that hes an incarnation of all ricks problems. he is the worst rick he is the baddest outcome he is all of ricks vices in pure form all the hurt he can do to people and all the lack of care he can have for them. rick killing him IS rick killing himself for two reasons because of that fact. it is literally destroying that identity. and while i think the hollow ending definitely grappled with like...something in rick himself is different, did change because of it, im not sure it grappled with it in the specific way of rick killing his worst self and therefore making himself better. by making prime less of a character, by flattening him, were actually flattening ricks ability to interrogate himself, and thats the number one thing thats a red flag for me. for this to work we need prime to be uh more than he was here. it was a deliberate anticlimax--which i did like to be clear, and to be fair i do thing it grappled w primes and therefore ricks cruelty--but there still does need to be a climax and a turning point, and its hard to do both at the same time. so, IF this is done well, its going to involve learning a lot more about prime and broadening his depth. i want to not be able to go 5 minutes without someone bringing him up for real. like genuinely there is going to have to be AT LEAST more ABOUT him if not more of him. thats not to say i dont think hes dead but like.........it would work. if he wasnt. its a narratively satisfying possibility, that it doenst end here, because to be narratively satisfying its going to have to not end here for one reason or another.

that being said i do really like this episode. nearly love it. i am just worried that like...this is so pivotal that whatever comes after is going to be more of the determining factor than what was in the actual episode itself yk. we have a dangling turning point and little indication of what the path forward is going to be, and it is fully possible they flub this. god i want them not to be its possible. Im Scared bc i want to love this i really want it to be good bc i really like this show. but. Man. im scared

i have . assignmence to do. but i wanna talk about rick and morty s7e5

[glitteringcrab]

Nip this in the bud (part 4)

Man I feel kinda dumb.

I kept trying to make sense of this phrase of the creators:

“There are parts of us that might cost us the things that we really want. There is an implicit choice there, where Evil Morty is giving Rick a decision where you can either stay here and beat the shit out of this guy until he’s dead, which is what you supposedly have always wanted, and while you’re doing that, that’s gonna be the reason why I’m walking away with the power to destroy everything you ever cared about.”

because I thought Rick C-137 was not initially aware that Eyepatch Morty had gotten the weapon plans, and had to be informed of it by Rick Prime who is, of course, untrustworthy.

Plus, you know, Eyepatch Morty stayed behind long enough to confirm to Rick C-137 that he got the weapon plans so really, where is the "choice"? What "decision"? As far as I could tell Eyepatch Morty made all the decisions for him.

Then I realized I was an idiot lol.

The show left us (or at least me) with the impression that Eyepatch Morty was afraid of being wiped out of existence by the Omega Device:

And I'm sure this fear indeed factored in his decision to participate in the Prime hunt, true, but...

...he had suggested from the very beginning that he was interested in the weapon itself:

(...I just forgot about it, heh)

Given that we know and that Rick C-137 knows that Eyepatch Morty was in the habit of stealing memories from Ricks, it becomes extremely obvious that when Eyepatch Morty presented to Rick C-137 Rick Prime on a platter, he had already gotten what he wanted:

(Of course, Rick Prime did not all know all that, so as far as he was concerned he likely did not expect his attempt to turn Rick C-137 against Eyepatch Morty would yield any short-term results so I think my previous assumption that Rick Prime aimed for delayed revenge probably still stands)

But yeah. I now get the "choice" part. Even without Rick Prime's input, Rick C-137 would totally assume that Eyepatch Morty already possessed the weapon plans, and Eyepatch Morty knew Rick C-137 would know he has the weapon plans...

...aaaaand Rick C-137 still prioritized killing Rick Prime over ensuring his family was safe from dying forever (I still think part of it, even a small one, was because he had just fought alongside Eyepatch Morty and because Eyepatch Morty had just saved his life. Or at least I hope so. It would be extremely underhanded of Rick to turn against him after all that).

As for Eyepatch Morty sticking long enough afterwards, making it possible, in theory, to get attacked, since with Rick Prime gone Rick C-137 was now free to follow the next set of priorities?

1. Eyepatch Morty might have been able to guess that Rick C-137's mental state after killing Rick Prime would leave no room for another battle.

2. He might be confident in his ability to escape in a moment's notice with a portal.

3. Aforementioned debt due to Rick C-137 having his life saved by him.

One final thing:

Since he knew that Rick C-137 could make an educated guess that he as of now possessed the weapon plans, his "threat" takes a completely different spin (maybe):

While he is, indeed, confirming that he got the weapon plans (and providing proof of it) I think Rick C-137 did not need that confirmation. I think if he exited that control room to find Eyepatch Morty gone, he would have assumed he got the weapon plans and skedaddled to safety just the same. He'd know his life and his family's lives might once again be at risk in the future and that he might one day be forced to do something about it.

So is it so much that Eyepatch Morty is threatening Rick C-137 to "stay away or else"...

...or is it that he's trying to placate him?

"Don't worry, I won't even build this unless you force me to. So stay away."

He's trying to reassure Rick that he won't kill him out of spite nor his family for the lulz the way Rick Prime did. He's trying to convince Rick to not try to pre-emptively hunt him down.

Plus if my theory that Eyepatch Morty is physically unable to fire the weapon against Ricks himself is correct, his options with the Omega Device are a lot more limited. He might be able to manipulate someone else to fire it in his stead, but that would probably take time to stage. Threatening to fire it is one of the best uses he can get out of the Omega Device, so he does precisely that. In this scenario, placating Rick is also very important because EM won't be able to use the weapon defensively if an angry Rick C-137 teleports at his doorstep. So he has to hit that spot where Rick C-137 is wary of him but not constantly terrified of him, and he goes for exactly that.

Interesting that Rick Prime tried to upset this balancing act and to push Rick C-137 firmly towards the "terrified" option.

(Man even with the strongest weapon in the world Eyepatch Morty still seems scared to me. Or maybe he ain't scared at all because of how successful he is in balancing everything, but I still feel like he's a lot more on the defensive than I initially thought)

[fandomwe1rd0]

I'VE GOT ANOTHER RICK AND MORTY OVERANAYLASIS BITCHESSS

Morty had mutiple chances to break free of Rick, we first get it in Ricksy Business, Birdperson himself points it out.

Birdperson: "Then why do you care so much if you are not longer aloud to continue your adventures together? It seeks like fate had presented you an opportunity to free yourself from Rick forever."

Morty could've just let Rick sleep on the couch and let his parents stop Rick from having adventures with Morty. But he didn't. He woke Rick up and told him that his parents were coming.

This isn't the only time it happened, it happened again in "Get Schwifty"

Birdperson: "I can give your loved one's shelter and jobs on birdworld, possibly as worm ranchers, how often do you think you might look up at the stars and wonder what might've been, had you just put your faith in Rick?"

Morty then seems unsure but as soon as he saw that Rick was in trouble, the first thing he wanted to do was go back to Rick and help him.

With the end of season 2, 3, and 4, we don't get any of these.

Quite the opposite in season 4 honestly, in the first episode he leaves Rick dead so he can die with Jessica, which does track since he shoot Rick in the head in the season 3 premiere.

Then we get season 5 where Rick was in serious pain and Morty is literally carrying him while Rick tells Morty to leave him. And then in the second to last episode of season, he gets abandonment issues because Rick left him, we can see Morty crying but Rick simply doesnt care.

He doesnt understand the pain it caused Morty. Morty already has so little autonomy, and Rick leaving ripped away any he had left. Rick is all he knows. His only friend. And he just left him, at the end of season 5, we see him trying to get Rick back, and at the end of the episode, he had an opportunity to leave Rick and go with Evil Morty, again Rick told him to go with Evil Morty since it was the best choice, but Morty still chose to save Rick. (Yes the second seat was a toliet, but Morty didn't know that)

We get it again in season 7, in fear No Mort he could've let Rick die, but he put himself in danger so Rick would be safe (It was hole Rick, but Morty didn't know that)

He had several options to free himself of his toxic relationship to Rick, but couldn't find it in himself to do so. He knows it's toxic, but he simply doesn't care. He needs Rick. Rick is his only friend. The only person who pays consistently attention to him, without Rick a part of him would be gone as well. They are so codependent so deeply intertwined, that without Rick, Morty doesn't know who he is. Jeez my poor baby boy is codependent.

[sanzoumon]

FREE RICKORTY+ PROMPTS!:

Seriously, if you wanna write any of these just go for it and then let me know. Spoilers for S5E10. Some are more gen but could also be shippy, smut encouraged but optional. All of these are definitely bottom!Morty btw. Others are straight up smut.

Non-rickorty prompts (really just Morty x Summer) are are the bottom.

PROMPTS:

Trapped on what remains of the Citadel, Rick confesses that he recently realized he’s in love with Morty and that he wants to be by Morty’s side forever - in whatever way Morty wants (as in be it romantic, familial, platonic, whatever, it’s Morty’s choice). How does Morty feel and what will he decide?

After the whole Planetina thing Morty gets much needed comfort from Beth. Tho he feels better after that, Morty feels the overwhelming need to be with Rick. As it happens, after that whole ordeal with Daphne, Rick feels an overwhelming need to be with Morty. Bedsharing and comfort ensue.

Morty notices that ever since the Citadel was destroyed, Rick’s been way more physically affectionate. Little touches, petting his hair, hugging, casually rubbing soothing circles on him when they relax, wanting to cuddle, affectionate kisses, handholding, even nuzzling him. Morty likes it. A LOT.

In a rare moment of relaxation, Rick and Morty snuggling up together, they share a kiss. Both are shocked but then immediately begin an intense make-out session.

Rick wants to make up for his prior mistreatment of Morty. Morty asks for something be never expected: A kiss. And Morty means a full on kiss - tongue included. Who is Rick to deny him?

Rick and Morty have a rather intense incest kink. Lots of dirty talk.

Morty finds out that Rick has feelings for him. Rick freaks out, feels like a piece of shit, and tries to run away. Morty stops him, clings to him, begs Rick to calm down and to not leave him. Rick is practically hysterical, Morty gets him to shut up and calm down the only way he can - a kiss.

Morty preys on Rick’s guilt for having mistreated Morty in the past by guilting him into having sex. Morty knows Rick doesn’t want it, but he’ll do anything Morty wants. Morty feels like shit doing this but he can’t get about of how good Rick feels inside him.

Morty royally screws up on an adventure, almost getting himself killed, and Rick opts for a good ol fashioned punishment - a bare bottom spanking. Aftercare happens because Rick was terrified for Morty and needs him to understand this is why he spanked him.

Rick suffers from Domdrop after a really emotionally intense session with Morty. Morty provides Rick with the aftercare he needs.

The family finds out about Rick and Morty’s relationship. Shocking everyone, it’s Beth who attacks Rick square in a blind rage. The whole time Morty is begging her to stop hurting Rick, who doesn’t even try to defend himself, and it’s Jerry and Summer who have to hold her back so she’ll actually listen to Morty.

Rick and Morty get married at the alien equivalent of Las Vegas. Summer was a witness and recorded the whole thing.

In another dimension it’s considered a rite of passage for a boy to have sex with the household patriarch when he turns 14. Morty never felt the need to do that but then Rick comes along and says that’s because Jerry wasn’t man enough to do it, so Rick takes it upon himself to do so.

Morty is attracted to Rick specifically because Rick is a dirty old man.

On the Citadel, some Morty’s are bred purely to be sex slaves for Rick’s. Bred to be more compliant, submissive, and who love Rick’s unconditionally no matter how badly they mistreat them.

Rick and Morty have an emotionally incestuous relationship. Basically: “when a parent or caregiver relies on a child for the support that an adult partner would usually provide. They may also treat the child like a romantic partner.”

Morty deliberately gets himself into trouble on adventures because Rick will, out of worry and adrenaline pumping through him, fuck Morty afterward like an animal. Like a twisted version of “glad to be alive sex”.

Rick and Morty have to hide in a tight fitting enclosed space while facing each other. Awkward boners and grinding / dry humping ensue.

Omegavese. Morty goes into heat and Rick knocks him up. It wouldn’t be so bad if Rick wasn’t seriously turned on by Morty being pregnant with his baby.

Omegaverse. Unclaimed Omega’s have it rough and are constant targets for harassment. One day Morty gets assaulted by some Alpha’s at school and before they’re able to violate and claim him, Rick shows up and makes them wish they were never born. Morty knew right then that Rick was his Alpha and begs for Rick to claim him.

Rookie Cop Rick x Cop Morty. Rick likes how chubby Morty is.

Toxic Rick x Toxic Morty. They’re both made up of the irrational attachments they have for each other. Without their healthier selves to reign them in they can’t keep their hands off each other. Basically, in between all the science, Toxic Rick fucks Toxic Morty and Toxic Morty can’t get enough of just how much Rick loves him.

Evil Rick x Evil Morty. Sometimes Morty lets Rick have control of himself again just so Rick will rape him like he used to before Morty took control.

Morty’s fantasy is for Rick to fuck him against his will while Morty cries and begs Rick to stop. Rick can’t deny Morty his perverted fantasy.

Rick goes on a rampage to save Morty and, by the time all is said and done, Rick is mildly wounded and is practically drenched in the blood of his enemy. And it’s the hottest thing Morty has ever seen in his life. Morty wants Rick to fuck him right then and there, raw and primal, using the blood as lube.

Morty’s just so small and cute. Rick loves it a little too much.

Rick loves to degrade and humiliate Morty in bed. Morty loves it too.

Breeding kink. They like to pretend Morty can actually get pregnant when they have sex.

OTHER:

Summer asks Rick to shrink her giant space incest baby down to normal baby size. Everyone tries to talk her out of it because she’s young and not ready to raise a baby, but she knows she can’t live without him and that she wants this.

Morty x Summer. It may have been under very weird circumstances but fact is they have a baby together. Summer says she doesn’t expect anything from Morty and is cool with it, but Morty wants to be involved. Raising a kid together can make you feel things you never expected to feel.

Morty x Summer. Morty liked attractive redheads and Summer is no exception.

Morty x Summer. After everything they’ve seen and done, sex with each other to relieve stress isn’t that noteworthy.

Morty x Summer. Summer is humiliated that she actually enjoys being fucked by her little brother. Worse yet, Morty knows it and taunts her with it while fucking her. Worst of all, him doing that makes it even better for her.

Morty x Summer. Set during the time Rick was in prison. They’re always fighting lately, sometimes to the point of physical aggression. One thing leads to another.

Morty & Summer. After the whole Morty Jr. thing, Morty isn’t sure he wants to be a dad again. But Summer is worn ragged with school, taking care of their recently-shrunk-to-normal-size space baby, and their family giving her crap for raising him instead of leaving him in space. And, well, he is responsible for the kid existing in the first place. Basically they raise their baby together.

Summer sees Morty getting picked on at school and she ends up beating up his bully half to death.

Morty x Summer. Something happens and they end up bound together face to face with Morty’s head buried in Summer’s boobs. They’re so big and soft that he gets aroused in spite of himself. Summer feels it, insults him like expected, but tells him just to hurry up and get rid of it by grinding against her thigh so they can start pretending this whole thing never happened sooner.

————

And that’s all I got for now, folks! I know it’s a long list and it’s all over the place but I have so many ideas in my head and the S5 finale just sent my imagination into overdrive.

So please, if you’re a writer, I hope these prompts inspire you. Let me know if you write anything, please!

[glitteringcrab]

I LOVE THIS POST!!

More more more notes:

In S7E5 MP repeatedly ruins the friendship vibes (I'm going somewhere with this!! Sorta) by:

Suggesting they use "the net":

Running off to find the net:

Suggesting they shoot EM instead:

Telling Rick to shoot again:

Telling EM to leave as soon as possible:

It's all pretty understandable given EM's past horrifying actions though and EM does not seem to hold it against MP at all. He made only a couple of snide remarks in response ("listen to pop-pop Morty" & "and people call me Evil Morty") but the rest of the time he seems content to wordlessly stand side-by-side to him. He even flinched when MP abruptly tumbled away from him in the box, which meant he felt comfortable enough in MP's presence that this took him by surprise.

Like, EM is WAY more insulting to Rick, who in turn is not aggressive to EM at all. Apart from the initial surprise (and subsequent agreement to use "the net"), Rick seems to grasp basically from the get go that, if Evil Morty had wanted to attack, he would have done it stealthily and immediately, and they'd all be dead before they knew it. Evil Morty keeps insulting and baiting Rick and Rick mostly keeps deflecting or defusing the situation (almost, uh, like parenting).

And when it became clear that Evil Morty was inexplicably in no hurry to leave, Rick even gave Evil Morty an out twice: an excuse to work together and an excuse to stay ("we all hate Rick Prime more than each other anyway" and "the weapon, Morty! He knows a thing that can wipe someone across all dimensions can wipe him across all dimensions!") I mean, those excuses were not just excuses (especially the last one), they were real explanations and reasons why they should temporarily join forces, but it's interesting that Rick was the bigger man and voiced them out loud while Evil Morty didn't not deign to give an explanation for his behavior and remained derisive.

And the "oh, hey guys" Rick said when their compartments united in the Box was very sweet. "Guys". Plural. I know Rick does not hold grudges against people who have attacked him in the past, but given one of those people is a version of his grandson, it was kinda sweet.

And I gotta say, Rick teleported Evil Morty in his own sub-basement. And then left Morty Prime there within him. I was kinda frozen at that moment in the episode, thinking frantically "are you sure it's safe to leave Morty Prime alone with Evil Morty???" That's, uh, quite an unexpected level of trust on Rick's part.

Of course, it all came crashing down in the end when Evil Morty made a particularly personal and biting jibe at a time when Rick was a huge mess emotionally, and he was finally told to f*** off. With real bite behind it this time.

ANYWAY back to the friendship of Mortys:

Evil Morty has also ruined the friendship vibes, because his own attempts are usually twisted somehow in a particularly unhealthy manner (I mean, he is Evil Morty. I don't mean to say that he's mean, or evil; I mean to say that he's been neglected and abused, and his idea of how to connect with another person has become skewed. Everything he does is a reflection of what has been done to him).

I'm sure EM's offer to MP was genuine, but it was also an attempt at coercion. He only extended an offer for MP to join him after MP had literally no other choice.

Before the Citadel's destruction, EM had called MP a "sellout", along with various other demeaning phrases like "I'd hate you more than the Ricks if there was any point" (so he hates MP... equally with the Ricks) and "you were bred for it" (nope, MP is a naturally occurring grandson).

As the Citadel was destroyed and death seemed both certain and imminent, EM explained the worst of Rick's actions (the Central Finite Curve) to MP in what I'm sure was an honest and genuine attempt at opening MP's eyes as a possible kindred spirit. He did want MP's company and understanding.

But the alternative to accepting EM effort was death. EM did not say "you can come with me or you can leave with this yellow portal or you can stay and die with Rick".

Now, I don't actually think this attempt at coercion was... exactly deliberate on EM's part. I don't think his goal was to exert ultimate control over MP, after all he did go intro the trouble of explaining the CFC curve. He did want this to be MP's actual decision. But I think EM comes from a place of extreme insecurity about the possibility of attachments. I'm under the impression that he had either wanted to improve his chances as much as possible, or that... I dunno. That he could sorta get revenge in case of rejection. And I think from the moment MP rejected him (Morty Prime being one of the nicest Mortys, a Morty who both stands up to Rick and tries to help other Mortys, who has been sick of Rick, who was appalled by the Morty Market and the CFC... basically as good as it can get in EM's eyes I think) opting instead to stay with his Rick and face almost certain death... I think from that moment EM gave up the possibility of friendship with MP. I mean I think he still likes MP to a degree, he still thinks he's nice, and kind, and would theoretically like to be around him, but as of that moment recognizes that MP would always put Rick first, even if it meant certain death. He'd never, ever, choose EM first, no matter how bad things got with Rick.

So I think EM gave up at that moment.

Which is why (I think) he doesn't hold MP's aggression during his sudden visit against him. He already knew. He had accepted it. That's how things are.

And we see this during EM's offer for MP to join him in the Prime Fight:

He doesn't expect MP to join him if he had simply asked. Nope.

He doesn't say "our chances will improve with one extra person".

He doesn't say "I have this awesome battle plan with a twin switcheroo and I want you to help me pull it off".

He doesn't say "I don't want to risk getting Omega-ed personally and Rick is more likely to survive if you help so we should both join"

No; he knows MP's priority is always Rick, so he emotionally manipulates MP into joining the fight, in a particularly twisted and crushing way for MP. If MP does not join, Rick might kill himself. What?! That's a huge weight to just dump on another person. What, MP is responsible for Rick not killing himself as of now? Like, wtf. This particularly huge responsibility is likely to start heavily weight on MP down the line if he actually takes it to heart.

And I'm sure EM knows this. I feel like there's some actual bite behind this particular manipulation, in a "oh you want to be at Rick's side forever? Here, bear the assorted extreme weight on your shoulders" fashion. This is the Morty Dome all over again (oh you want to be a human shield, sellout Morty?). In EM's defense though, he's probably really scared of the weapon. He gets that the guy who killed Ricks' wives can also kill Ricks' grandsons, and Rick C-137 is about to provoke said guy. There really is no time to lose. (Soooo... kinda nice of him to resort to emotional manipulation only when their lives were at stake...? Man, that's a low bar)

All this, of course, doesn't make EM's warning a lie. Rick killing himself is, indeed, something that might happen. But MP would not in any way bear the responsibility.

Anyway, it works. Because EM has correctly concluded that MP will always put Rick first, so of course in the end he would decide to join the fight. Ergo EM portalling back to take him along, but the whole thing is still twisted.

I'm gonna add that if EM really cared about MP at that point (like Rick does) he would not have let MP come (like Rick). But I still think EM also held MP in relatively high regard and would like to keep him safe... it was just that EM's safety was priority.

I hadn't thought about the EM defending MP along with himself (free will points!!!) before I read your post!! This is indeed lovely!!!

...But it is a bit sullied by EM emotionally manipulating MP into joining the fight in the first place. I mean, MP really did make that choice, but he was cornered into it.

And they rightfully do so, Evil Morty! I love you, but that was pretty hypocritical. I can give a pass on the Morty Dome, but you were elected President of the Citadel, you were tasked with protecting its citizens, and you betrayed them by killing everyone.

I mean, yeah, that was a bit evil on MP's part, but EM is the pot calling the kettle black here.

Of course it didn't. Because MP is still putting Rick first, and it seems that he will always do so.

Kudos for EM letting MP down pretty gently though. No more insults or manipulation. I think he really did enjoy working with MP. And I have an inkling that, had Rick C-137 been by himself when he was consolidating dimensions, EM would have indeed killed him; but when he realized that MP was there he decided to just pop up instead.

Conclusion:

Man do they have a long way to go.

I really think MP finds EM extremely cool. That Morty forgiveness is also at work; he keeps snatching at excuses to connect, which EM keeps rebuffing because he may have missed casual conversation, but that's not enough. That's not what he really needs. And he can't afford to let his guard down and end up getting discarded again.

I also think EM would have treasured MP's company if MP had chosen to join him, or even if he changed his mind now... But given how messed up EM is, and that he has chosen to live in the middle of nowhere, and that he is the one with access to incredible tech etc, I'm get the feeling that MP would have ended up extremely isolated and dependent on EM, even more so than he is with Rick right now. Even if EM gave the world to him (I have the feeling he would be unable to say 'no' to any of MP's requests... as long as they didn't involve asking to live in a populated place... although maybe after a long-ish time had passed, EM might have changed his mind) MP would still end up trapped. He made the right choice in not joining EM.

But the potential of friendship is there...! And I feel like it's very telling that despite MP's reserve MP keeps trying to make a connection, and that despite PM's rejection and EM's own trauma EM is not against including MP in his plans nor working with him.

And I had another thought today... Concerning the Omega Device, I see four possible ways for this to play out:

Possibility A: Evil Morty snaps at some point because of some provocation, because of something Rick did. There is potential here for a third party to induce this, to influence Rick's actions in a way that would trick EM into thinking Rick is coming for him. This would be a pretty nifty way to get rid of Rick without blooding your own hands.

Possibility B: Evil Morty indeed visits Rick in season 9 or something, asking for help with something, using the Omega Device as a threat in case of betrayal or something. Rick freaks out over the possibility of this becoming a regular occurrence and of Evil Morty gradually becoming more unhinged, and so he decides to bite the bullet. He attacks first. (I don't really see this)

Possibility C: Rick feels bad over all the trauma he has put MP through, and all the trauma Ricks have put Mortys through. Decides to do suicide by Evil Morty. (Rude.)

Possibility D: A third party discovers that EM has the Omega Device schematics, and would really, really like to have them... I can see them tracking EM down and overpowering him eventually, but the truth is that EM's very cautious, has a lot of defense systems, and can teleport to a different multiverse in the blink of an eye. Taking him down would probably be an epic battle...

...or maybe there would be no need for an epic battle, if they could lure him out instead. And who is the one person that we've ever seen Evil Morty get (a little bit) out of his way for, in however twisted ways?

Morty Prime.

(Man, it would be incredible if MP is captured or something, both Rick C-137 and Evil Morty independently from each other pop up to rescue him, the bad guys are all "drop your weapons or we'll shoot MP", Rick begins his "I have infinite grandkids" spiel, the bad guys respond "we weren't talking to you"...

...and Evil Morty drops his weapons.)

(I don't really see this particular scenario playing out, but it's fun to dream :P)

made a big compilation of Evil Morty and Morty Prime SORTA being friends (along with foreshadowed friendship). im not too keen on how tumblr works so i have no idea if any of this is gonna make sense, but just bare with me. also, for the sake of not typing the same names a billion times, EM = evil morty and MP = morty prime.

first off, just to start, this is a little frame that always stuck with me. EM is the first morty MP has actually met, so of course he’s curious about another version of himself.

and next is the BIGGG video. im not going to force you to watch it, so ill state my thoughts on it first and you can watch if you want to analyze more.

PART ONE aka when EM lead MP to the morty room

- to start, MP is obviously trying to make conversation

- EM is keeping that together cold, calm character probably to both not be forced to elaborate and to control evil rick

- MP states his ideas of rick, showing rebellion unlike other mortys. EM obviously took this to heart, even if he didn’t let MP leave.

- that strange stare EM gives MP

PART TWO aka when EM talks about “sellout mortys” (didn’t add the whole montage)

- EM refers to MP as a “sellout” morty, which is obviously an insult

- however he states he can’t hate him for it due to most mortys being “bred for it”

- gives MP the chance to see his issues with rick more clearly

PART THREE aka when both call rick a liar

- not much to say, just that they’re both in agreement and they jinxed eachother which is like totally a friend thing (im coping)

PART FOUR aka when EM states how MP probably relates to him

- it’s true, MP has been “evil” countless times

- EM puts enough ideas in his head where MP’s relationship with rick truly starts to get more shakey

PART FIVE aka when EM offers MP to come with

- do i even need to explain? he offers to MP that he’ll let him come, completely unmalicious

- even though EM says that second seat was a toilet, he still offered to let him come nonetheless

- MP literally calls EM cool

PART SIX aka when MP “tees up” EM

- once again not much to say, other than EM making snide remarks to rick and MP being curious as always

PART SEVEN aka MP and EM going into the same “fighting room”

- i know it’s realistically what would happen since the two mortys count as one rick in the machine, however they were still paired up so

PART EIGHT aka when EM kills nice rick

- EM could’ve literally killed MP so easily but he didnt

- kills nice rick once he admits he was just going to use the two, once again not a lot to say but EM protecting MP and himself in a way

PART NINE aka “the worst turd is a pizza”

- MP as always attempting to engage in casual conversation with EM

PART TEN aka when MP steps into EM’s portal

- there’s not a whole lot in the beginning, just EM explaining to MP stuff

- EM saying how he “doesn’t care” if MP comes or not

- the portal closing on MP, causing EM to immediately open the portal back up to once again offer to let him join

- morty explaining his dork ass reason, EM letting him come with

- although there’s probably a reason, EM acting like he doesn’t gaf and then opening up the portal 5 seconds later just to let morty enter. istg.

PART ELEVEN aka EM and MP regrouping with rick

- once again EM acting like he doesn’t really care, definitely not letting rick know he gave MP a second chance to come with

PART TWELVE aka “rick’s cheering section”

- EM stating “WE brought ourselves”

- really giving MP those free will points, defending both him and MP

PART THIRTEEN aka MP using a rick prime bot to save evil morty

- i don’t think i need to elaborate much, MP literally saves EM

- does the two fingers salute to EM, probably saying “you can trust me”

PART FOURTEEN aka EM doing a body swap thing

- we really don’t know enough about what EM actually did to figure this out

- it could be that they completely bodyswapped and EM was just in MP’s body now, but then he wouldn’t have his wires

- either way, they swapped shirts, see that in whatever way you want, friendship love, sibling love, bromantic, romantic, whatever way you view their relationship

- EM thanks MP, it’s hard to tell if it’s sarcastic or not because EM is always flat toned

PART FIFTEEN aka EM blows up the omega device

- MP, as usual, trying to engage in casual conversation

- lets EM know about the pretty visual, really trying to connect with him

- EM states “THIS didn’t make us friends”, maybe implying something like “THAT could make us friends” in a future season?

CONCLUSION

im full of cope, im practically losing it, but im so certain they’re trying to handle EM’s and MP’s relationship in a way where they aren’t purely acquaintances. and although MP makes him attempts at friendship more obvious, and EM refuses to act like they’re friends, he has almost as many “friendship” like moments on his own. i really hope we don’t have to wait for another season to pass for EM to appear again, he’s become alot more vital, especially since the main threat that we know of (prime rick) has been eliminated. i know the writers are probably gonna be kinda silly and just make EM the main villain, however these last few episodes have been purely to develop the characters rather than the plot, and EM’s and MP’s relationship has so much potential for something fun. i don’t think something like the freaky mortys theory will happen, however there is a lot of room to wiggle around in and develop their relationship, because it will ultimately develop both MP and EM which is definitely what the writers are wanting to do. anyways feel free to use this video, feel free to reblog with your own thoughts and ideas, these are just mine!!

[xbloodrunsredx]

Could you tell me what you think of the way the creators have instilled Rick and Morty relationship thoughout the show ? I've noticed that you're pretty good at explaining things so I was wondering if you wanted to showcase the "proofs" of their relationship. Anyway I love your fanfic "fire consumes fire" and I'm reading it right now, it's great !

For sure! Have fun with Fire Consumes Fire, it's my baby <3

I'll analyse season one for now and point out the creative choices and underlying themes as my proof! Let me know if you want to see more seasons though :)

An important thing to remember is that things like grooming and sexual abuse are not just about touching someone or being touched. Things like exposing a child to/forcing a child to watch a sexual act, speaking to a child in a sexually explicit way, and undressing yourself or them (typically older than the age they'll need to be bathed for that one) all count as aspects and types of sexual abuse.

Now some people might think that's less important because Morty is fourteen and at that age where male sexuality is a little more domineering but, canonically, Rick has been in Morty's life since he was twelve at most, possibly younger.

(Rick celebrating Morty's 13th birthday: Mindblowers)

There's a lot of time missing, and if we're assuming that Rick's attitude has remained consistent, then it means this has been a common theme since Morty was prepubescent.

The first episode is relatively tame, but it plays an important role in establishing the family hierarchy, and does a lot with the ever infamous megaseeds. There have been a lot of fanfictions about the seeds and for good reason - though not overtly sexual in nature, it establishes a certain level of control over Morty. Morty lacks bodily autonomy and the ability to tell Rick no. He does what Rick says, even if it means sacrificing his own body, and it is the first step the creators took in creating a warped dynamic between them. It sets the stage for further abuse of power by Rick, which is important to make the future episodes realistic and true to character consistently. Somewhat separately, throughout the show you'll see me note instances where you can see the show easing us into sexually explicit interactions between the two - we are desensitised to Morty's blatant sexuality before we're introduced to Rick's, which is really interesting considering who they are. The difference is that they need to put in more work to make Morty someone viewed through a sexual lens in an effort to get us used to him and how we'll see him portrayed in the future. Then they introduce Rick's sexuality, and even later how their sexualities interact with each other.

This next episode draws directly on the assumptions we make based on the first episode about sexuality, and expands even further. When incepting Morty's math teacher, we now see a focus on Rick's sexuality - he involves himself in bondage in a sex dungeon in front of Morty, and encourages Morty to participate. This time we see Morty deny him, clearly not comfortable with it despite being intrigued. Something really interesting is Summer in this episode: while some may not think it's important in relation to Rick and Morty's relationship, her trying to sleep with them establishes the first theme of incest we see in the show and sets a playing field: the creators are saying it's their show and they can make who they want to be sexual to who they want.

Something else I think is important in season one is that after heavily sexual episodes, we get a break where the following episodes are family based. That's why we're skipping anatomy park for now, to go into episode four: the episode where Rick undresses himself, forces Morty to undress, steals his clothes and makes him walk around naked. Sure, his intentions aren't outwardly nefarious - there is reasonable evidence that Rick knew Morty was a simulation for a decent while, but I'll focus on if he didn't for now - but that doesn't make it less important to the development of abuse structures. Morty is incapable of telling Rick no when Rick puts his mind to doing something: the surrender of autonomy to Rick is really important for creating an abusive cycle. What if Rick had been lying? How would Morty have known? What could he have done? Morty gives in without really knowing what he's giving into.

Meeseeks and Destroy, in my opinion, is one of the most important episodes in determining abuse. Something I like to think about, is the central figure of Morty's life. Rick, right? When Morty chooses his own adventure, it's akin to him trying to reclaim his autonomy and trying to exert his influence. He tries to become his own central figure, and in doing so he meets Mr Jellybean. Two things happen as a result: Morty associates being in control of himself with getting assaulted, and we see a demonised version of Rick in Mr Jellybean. Hear me out! Mr Jellybean is the replacement of Rick in this episode as a figure that shoves Morty around, makes him uncomfortable, makes him do things he doesn't want to do, but with a sexual twist. Mr Jellybean's temper when he doesn't get what he wants and the sudden calm when he does, is eerily reflective of blackout drunk Rick.

We get a mix of a family episode and a sexually explicit episode here so I won't go into too much detail - but the distinct separation of Rick and Morty from the rest of their family when they leave creates a dynamic where Morty can rely on Rick as the only constant. It separates him from the rest of his family and the rest of the world in a lot of ways, which heavily contributes to his mindset.

The next episode is one where the creator definitely try and push a distrust by the family in regards to Rick and Morty's relationship. Rick lets Morty buy a sex bot while they're out named Gwendolyn - Morty adapts quickly and happily to his more sexually active lifestyle until he asks Rick to come upstairs. Beth says then: "Okay, now if we hear squeaking, we intervene." Rick is attempting to fix Gwendolyn and jumps on the bed, which prompts the entire family to come to Morty's room to stop whatever it is that is happening. Like I've mentioned previously, they follow really explicit episodes with family stuff - this episode somewhat follows that by splitting it in half: half is explicit and the rest has Rick and Morty separated while we take in the new information given to us. Beth thought Rick would have sex with Gwendolyn, possibly in a threesome or something - if the character believes it, then the creators wants us to believe it too.

The next two episodes are family orientated, where we focus less on Rick and Morty and more specific members of their family, we're introduced to a flipped dynamic via Evil Morty and his Rick. Morty ponders his own worth as Rick devalues his existence and treats him like one would an object which is another aspect of abuse that gets referenced in the future. My interest for now lies in the use of Mortys and how they're viewed by Ricks. Evil Morty perpetuates that and attempts to go about it in a Rick-esque way. Which, of course, means tying naked teenagers to the outside of a building - there isn't a need for them to be naked, but Evil Morty does that in order to push the idea of it being something a Rick would cook up while also turning on himself. The idea that there are good Ricks, bad Ricks and worse Ricks makes for an interesting idea that begs the question: if the Rick next to C-137 on the scale is believed to be capable of doing that to hundreds of Mortys, then what is our Rick capable of?

The last episode is undeniably tame by comparison and is another family orientated episode to make up for the last one. It is undeniable that a lot of work has been put into making Rick and and Morty's dynamic reflect that of sexual abuse and grooming, a theme that grows more apparent with every new season.

[evilmortys]

Have you ever talked about/drawn/ have head among about c-136’s rick? His relationship w/ his family and morty? Is her better than other ricks or worse? Etc!

i’ve  never  talked  about  rick  c-136  much  extensively  come  to  think  of  it!  so  i  hope  you  don’t  mind  if  i  use  this  ask  as  an  opportunity  to  ramble  about  him  and  their  dynamic  and  their  dimension  in  general  a  little.  it’s  quite  divergent  from  what’s  typical  for  a  rick  and  morty  dynamic  in  places,  i  think.

first  off  i  wanna  lead  with:  morty  c-136  is  sixteen!  so  his  summer  is  of  course  older  too,  and  is  now  living  away  from  home  and  attending  college.  he  misses  her  a  lot,  but  they  still  call  a  few  times  a  week  and  bitch  about  their  parents  and  what’s  going  on  in  their  lives  and  bully  each  other  a  lot.  she  comes  home  sometimes,  usually  for  holidays  such  as  thanksgiving  or  whatever.  they’re  overly  sappy  for  a  minute  max  upon  reuniting,  then  she’s  kicking  him  in  the  balls  and  he’s  calling  her  a  dumb  bitch.

his  mom  and  dad  are  divorced,  and  have  been  since  he  was  ten,  so  jerry  is  not  really  in  the  picture.  rick  is  very  relieved  about  this  and  hates  jerry  about  as  much  as  is  typical  for  bastard  grandpas.  morty  was  sad  about  their  messy  break  up,  but  very  quickly  came  to  understand  it  was  for  the  best.  there’s  a  security  system  rick  set  up  to  kick  jerry  to  the  curb  if  he  ever  comes  around,  much  to  morty’s  aggravation,  but  it’s  not  put  to  much  use  anyway.  (usually  he  walks  over  to  his  dad’s  sad  studio  apartment  of  his  own  volition  for  custody  weekend  instead  of  being  picked  up,  because  his  dad  sleeps  until  late  noon,  so.  not  exactly  a  dependable  ride.  if  he  goes  himself  he  can  shake  jerry  awake  at  a  reasonable  hour  and ...  try  to  shake  some  sense  into  him  too.  so  he  doesn’t  come  to  the  house  much.)

c-136′s rick has a complex relationship with his beth.  she’s  still  very  much  wrapped  up  in  his  opinion  of  her  and  works  to  please,  impress  and  ultimately  attain  his  attention  whenever  she  can.  an  easy  way  to  do  this  is  back  rick  up  when  morty  backtalks  him.  if  morty  angrily  says  “shut  the  fuck  up,  rick”  within  earshot  of  his  mother,  she’s  very  quick  to  fly  to  her  father’s  defence  as  apposed  to  her  son’s-  “morty,  don’t  speak  to  my  dad  like  that!”  rick  plays  off  this,  recognizing  an  opportunity  to  make  beth  feel  like  it’s  them  versus  morty,  and  says  “thank  you,  sweetie.”  the  two  then  delve  into  conversation  about  how  morty  is  “out  of  hand”  as  if  he’s  not  even  there,  which  understandably  infuriates  him  further.  

it  hurts  him  a  lot  that  his  mom  is  so  desperate  to  feel  like  her  and  her  dad  get  along,  and  for  him  to  acknowledge  her  existence,  that  she’ll  invalidate  his  feelings  and  bitch  about  his  behavior  with  rick  to  get  it.  he  very  much  feels  like  his  mom  values  having  a  positive  relationship  with  her  dad  over  him  as  a  result.  morty  continues  to  love  and  care  about  her  even  in  spite  of  the  fact  that  it  feels  largely  nonreciprocal  at  the  best  of  times,  but  can  come  across  quite  cold,  dismissive  and  clearly  subconsciously  angry  with  beth  when  talking  about  her  at  times  as  a  result.  don’t  get  me  wrong,  they  go  see  the  occasional  movie  together  and  morty  helps  her  out  preparing  dinner  very  often.  he  cares  deeply  about  his  mom  and  he  loves  her,  of  course  he  does,  but  he's  also  felt  incredibly  estranged  from  her  for  most  of  his  life.  if  nothing  else,  they  can  always  at  least  bond  over  an  eyeroll  at  one  of  his  dad's  latest  fuck  ups  or  stupid  statuses  on  facebook.  there’s  some  stuff  about  his  childhood  i  could  tack  in  here  that’s  relevant,  but  i’m  very  conscious  of  how  long  this  is  and  i  haven’t  even  talked  about  rick  and  morty’s  dynamic  yet ...  adjaskjdfaksf  sorry!

her  alcoholism  worries  morty  whereas  rick  seems  a  little  indifferent  to  it,  or  considers  it  not  a  big  deal.  likely  because  he  knows  it  invites  accusations  of  hypocrisy  if  he  calls  out  her  self  destruction  via  these  vices.  

in  the  past,  morty’s  tried  talking  with  her,  watering  down  and  pouring  out  her  alcohol  stashes,  and  even  pleaded  for  rick  try  and  make  her  see  reason-  to  no  avail.  (his  grandpa  ended  up  cracking  a  joke  about  what  a  fucking  buzzkill  morty  is,  they  laughed  it  off  together,  and  they  both  went  out  for,  you  guessed  it,  a  fucking  drink,  or  more  likely  ten  of  them,  directly  after  the  fact.)

right  now,  beth  c-136  has  been  seeing  a  bartender  for  eleven  months.  rick  seems  to  idly  approve  of  him-  at  the  very  least,  doesn’t  hate  him  like  he  did  jerry,  which  delights  beth.  her  father  deeming  anything  in  her  life  a  good  choice  means  everything  to  her  because  she  fights  so  hard  to  impress  him  while  also  trying  not  to  look  overtly  clingy  and  needy,  because  that  seems  to  repel  him.  also,  he’s  her  genius  father  who  doesn’t  like  anyone,  so  how  the  hell  can  his  judgement  be  wrong,  right?  him  approving  of  this  guy  has  locked  him  into  her  life  for  the  forseeable  future.  again,  this  pisses  morty  off,  because  this  bartender  guy  encourages  his  mom’s  worst  vice  of  daydrinking  with  his  job  and  lifestyle.  he  makes  her  happy,  but  he’s  the  fucking  worst,  and  it  makes  morty  want  to  tear  his  hair  out.  him  and  summer  frequently  snipe  about  the  guy  in  private.  sharing  distaste  for  their  parents’  prospective  partners  is  very  valid  bonding  they  think.

c-136  rick  and  morty's  relationship  is  emotionally  flexible  at  the  best  of  times.  some  days,  so  very  rarely,  they  get  along  just  great.

to  name  one  wholesome  headcanon  before  we  Get  Into  It.  occasionally,  rick  will  pretend  to  know  absolutely  jack  shit  about  one  of  the  plants  in  morty’s  greenhouse  just  to  let  him  go  off  about  it  and  suddenly  seem  excitably  sure  of  himself  for  about  twenty  minutes  of  nonstop  infodumping.  95%  of  the  time  he  knows  absolutely  everything  about  the  plant  he’s  asking  about,  actually,  and  on  some  level  morty  is  absolutely  aware  of  it.  the  smartest  man  in  the  universe  apparently  doesn’t  know  what  a  flaxtius  olcum  is?  right.  but ...  he  still  appreciates  the  gesture  a  lot,  and  it  cheers  him  up  after  a  shitshow  adventure.

it's  not  too  clear  what  allows  these  occasions  of  treating  one  another  with  basic  respect  and  almost  fondness  to  arise-  maybe  his  grandfather's  in  an  uncommonly  gracious  mood,  maybe  they're  playing  minecraft  or  bashing  animal  crossing  together,  maybe  they're  snickering  and  exchanging  incredulous  glances  during  some  cartoonishly  evil  alien's  monologue  of  a  plan  as  it's  dictated  to  them  in  painstaking  detail …  regardless,  those  come  around  less  and  less  often,  these  days.

rick  secretly  considers  morty  to  be  very  capable  and  alarmingly  more  competent  as  of  late,  and  he's  not  sure  whether  to  feel  almost  proud  or  work  to  scramble  to  unravel  all  this progress  lest  morty  start  pulling  away  from  him  and  revelling  in  his  own  independence.  

they're  a  kickass duo  when  adventuring, very  in  sync.  morty's  less  of  a  whiny  burden  or  wide-eyed,  unremarkable  sidekick,  and  more  of  a  borderline  asset  at  this  point.  which  again,  makes  rick  feel  very  conflicted  over  how  that  skews  their  dynamic  in  a  way  that's  less  favorable  for  him,  because  morty  doesn't  need  to  lean  on  him  as  heavily  or  stick  as  close  anymore.  but  at  the  same  time,  there’s  less  inherent  risk  of  him  dying  while  they  adventure,  because  he  handles  himself  so  well.  they  can  split  up  as  needed  to  get  shit  done  faster.  morty  frequently  solo  adventures,  or  as  he  calls  it,  “runs  rick’s  goddamn  errands,  actually.”  he’s  outgrown  the  concept  of  getting  to  choose  an  adventure  and  instead  claims  the  portal  gun  every  twelve  adventures  they  have  together,  and  goes  off  for  one  of  his  own.

morty  speaks  his  mind  very  bluntly  with  rick  and  isn't  really  afraid  to  tell  him  to  get  fucked  when  he's  being  an  unreasonable  dick.  he  resents  rick  immensely  for  putting  him  down  and  pushing  him  around  all  the  time.

morty's  more  assertive,  yet  still  very  much  resigned  to  their  irrefutably  imbalanced  companionship ;  there  are  countless  factors  as  to  why.  but  primarily,  it  tends  to  boil  down  to  feeling  like  he  owes  a  lot  to  rick.  were  it  not  for  his  presence  in  his  life,  morty  knows  deep  down  that  he  wouldn't  be  half  as  interesting  or  even  marginally  as  intelligent  as  he's  capable  of  being  now.  he’d  still  be  stupid,  and  mediocre,  and  uninteresting.  unremarkable.  unworthy  of  anyone’s  attention  or  time  because  of  how  dull  he  is.

he's  at  a  point  where  (to  an  extent)  he  feels  distant  from  his  life  on  earth  at  the  best  of  times,  because  space  and  the  infinite  multiverse  has  encompassed  his  daily  life  for  so  long  and  on  some  level,  he  handles  himself  far  better  fighting  for  his  life  on  the  edge  of  the  universe  than  trapped  in  a  school  full  of  sweaty  teenagers  and  material  he  either  blitzes  through  or  can  barely  grasp.  plus,  rick  was  the  closest  thing  he  ever  had  to  a  friend  while  he  was  growing  up.  morty  cares  about  rick,  even  if  the  older  constantly  cites  reasons  as  to  why  attachment  is  moronic  and  sentiment  is  stupid,  and  he's  aware  that  rick  has  come  to  care  for  him  too-  even  if  all  his  pointed  jabs  about  not  giving  a  shit  and  aloof  front  makes  it  hard  to  believe  that  all  the  time.

the  issue  is,  once  morty  seems  to  waver  in  feeling  that  he  has  to  constantly  acquiesce  to  rick  and  falters  in  tolerating  rick  as  an  result  of  this  obligated  feeling  of  familial  love,  no  matter  how  slightly,  rick  then  begins  to  exert  control  over  their  relationship  by  other  means,  such  as  emotionally  manipulating,  gaslighting  and  outright  blackmailing  him  to  keep  him  in  line  with  what  he  wants  out  of  their  dynamic:  rick  and  morty,  a  hundred  years,  the  only  two  people  in  the  infinite  multiverse  that  truly  matter-  theretofore,  they  should  both  solely  consider  one  another  as  important,  and  worthwhile.  he's  willing  to  tarnish  any  other  connections  morty  might  form  beyond  their  duo  for  fear  of  losing  him.

he  grows  out  of  this  irrational  attachment  a  little  more  each  time  his  grandfather  lets  him  down,  disillusions  him  ever  further,  hurts  him  or  traumatizes  him  or  actively  fucking  experiments  on  him-  slowly  but  surely.  he'll  snap,  in  some  sense,  sometime.  when  exactly  can't  be  known.  what  precise  actions  he  might  take  to  pry  himself  free  of  their  codependent  dynamic  is  unclear.  but  the  way  things  are  headed,  the  two  of  them  splintering  apart  is  inevitable,  and  it's  unlikely  to  be  an  amicable  thing  at  all.  rick  often  actively  renounces  and  appears  repulsed  by  the  very  concept  of  familial  love  and  basic  attachment,  constantly  rants  and  raves  in  his  drunken  stupors  about  how  replaceable  everyone  in  his  life  is,  and  it's  hard  for  morty  to  bite  his  tongue  when  he's  behaving  like  that.

he  just  hates  that  he  feels  badly  about  himself  and  second  guesses  himself  around  rick.  strangely  enough,  when  he’s  having  to  push  through  crazy  shit  alone,  he  does  fine.  great,  even.  sure,  he’s  freaking  out,  making  everything  up  as  he  goes  along,  and  secretly  wishing  rick  was  around  to  guide  him  out  of  the  chaos  because  he  knows  in  his  heart  rick  would  probably  do  it  smarter.  but  once  he’s  with  rick,  he  feels  incapable  and  stupid  beside  him.  like,  being  apart  from  him  makes  him  feel  so  much  lighter,  allows  him  to  lean  on  the  intelligence  he  very  much  does  possess,  without  being  berated,  second  guessing  it,  and  reminded  it’ll  never  match  up  to  rick’s,  so  there’s  really  no  point  in  even  trying.

[secret-diary-of-an-fa]

The End of Year Awards Are Back... and This Time, It’s Personal!

And so we approach the end of 2020, the year that never really began. On paper, at least, it looked incredibly promising. There were lots of great movies slated to come out; culture seemed slightly less paucity-riddled and pointless than usual; good things were in the air. Then COVID happened, and basically fucked everything. Actually, that’s not quite true: my personal year has been fucking spectacular. I’m in a long-term relationship with a gorgeous woman for the first time in forever- no more abrupt trysts and stolen moments for yer humble narrator: I’ve got a sumptuously plus-size lady-friend who actually wants to spend substantial amounts of time me (and has knockers you could sled down, were you so inclined). I also started a Youtube channel where I upload performances of magic tricks I’ve designed and a few people seem to quite like it. Oh, and I’ve written four novels, with a fifth well on its way to completion. Unfortunately, that’s my life, not the life of our civilisation and culture as a whole. The fact that bugger all happened in that makes this end-of-year round-up a little hard to write. With that in mind, I’m going to hand out the gongs for 2020, but I’m also going to do my usual dodge of giving end-of-year awards to things that I discovered in 2020, even if they came out the year, decade or century before. It’s not like any right-minded person gives a hoot about my opinion anyway. Right then, everyone clear on the rules? Then let’s roll up our sleeves and plunge elbow deep into the fetid trough of our decaying society to ferret out the best and worst of the Things That Humans Have Done Recently.

The ‘I Like It Because It Confused Thick People’ Award for Best High-Concept Sci-Fi Movie... … Goes to the sterling Tenet, a spy film that used entropy inversion and symmetric, opposite-direction timelines within the same physical space the way most spy films use hacking and guns. Christopher Nolan films are always intricately constructed and meticulously-executed, but this one must have had Japanese Master Puzzle-Box Makers crying into their breakfast cereal. Is breakfast cereal a thing in Japan? I honestly I have no idea. For some reason, all I can imagine is a sort of dry kedgeree where all the ingredients that aren’t rice have been removed. But I digress. For all its intricacy, Tenet is actually really easy to follow once you’ve grasped the basic premise that there’s a machine that lets people move backwards through time, and that this makes them appear to move in reverse to the rest of the world while they perceive the rest of the world as moving in reverse. Nolan maintains a mastery of cinematic visual language that makes even the most abstruse concept easy to wrap your head around. Nonetheless, following Tenet’s release, dumb people took to the Internet on mass to complain that the film was confusing and stupid, never once realising that their inability to conceptualise time in non-linear ways was their own failing, not Nolan’s. I find that refreshing. It’s nice to see a sci-fi film that’s actually made for smart-cookie sci-fi fans and doesn’t give a hoot if it alienate thickos.

The Award for Most Inexplicably Compelling Web Comic… … Goes to Questionable Content. I originally started reading Questionable Content because I’d heard that the female lead and love interest was a plus size lassie and that shit’s my jam. However, the art style makes everyone look like a skinny indie-type, regardless of their actual, in-universe size, so it doesn’t do much to titillate my Fat Admiring Titillation Centres. And yet, I’m over five hundred ‘episodes’ in and still reading. The thing is, I couldn’t tell you why for the life of me. Maybe it’s the hope that the art style will evolve to the point where the people look like actual human beings with different body types (but then, why would I care unless I was invested for some other reason). Maybe it’s the fact that when I get one of the many, many obscure band or pop culture references, I feel a little buzz of kinship with the writer. Maybe it’s the fact that it takes place in a universe where robots and superheroes are things that regularly happen, yet most of the strips are just normal people chatting shit in a coffee shop and the slice-of-life narrative/sci-fi setting appeals to my sense of juxtaposition. I don’t know, but I find it really compelling to the extent that I’ve pissed away entire days reading it. I have a horrible feeling that it’s a short step from this to really angsty hentai. If I start singing the praises of that, somebody please shoot me in the crotch.

The ‘Forest Gump Debating Peter Andre’ Award For Most Sustained or Elongated Instance of Stupidity… … Goes to Donald Trump. I was tempted just to award this gong to his entire presidency, but that wasn’t just stupid: it was also venal, corrupt, horrifying and punctuated by terrible moments of low cunning. So, instead, this award goes to his ‘soup’ rant. For those of you who missed it, the former President of the United States spent a really, really long time (in the run-up to the election) wittering on about protestors throwing cans of soup at police. What was dumb and weird about it was that he appeared to be extolling the virtues of soup as a siege weapon, going into really specific detail about how it was better than a brick because it could be thrown with more force, finishing with the utterance that protestors would just argue that “this is just soup for my family” if they were caught with the cans… which is phrased wrong in such a subtle and inhuman way it’s hard to imagine that anyone actually ever said it, at least in those words. I have no idea if protestors in America were throwing soup cans at police (which would be entirely justified considering how many innocent people American police have murdered in cold blood quite recently) or if this was a fantasy dreamed up by the former president in the cloudcuckooland that is his diseased little brain. Either way, the connected rant was balls deep in dumb.

The Most Disturbing Unintentional Impression of Vincent Price Award… … Goes to the narrator from One Step Beyond, a Twilight Zone-esque anthology of weirdness that purports to be based on true events and has to be seen to be believed. The stories are oft-disturbing instances of spooky-inflected human drama and can occasionally be quite disconcerting… until they’re book-ended by a dude who sounds like Vincent Price reading a children’s book in a really earnest voice. It’s weird and no, it didn’t hit our screens in Space Year 2020, it dates back to Ye Olden Times of the 1950s or 60s, when men were men, women were women and technincolour was a distant dream that could get you strung up for witchcraft. Nonetheless, I only encountered it this year, so it’s getting its prize. I warned you I was going to pull this shit, but you foolish fools didn’t listen.

The ‘It’s Not Gay If I Don’t Clench’ Award for Cognitive Dissonance… … Goes to Amazon Prime, the content-making branch of evil, tax-dodging, anti-monopoly-law-breaking megalith Amazon. You see, while Big Daddy Amazon is off being incredibly sinister and worrying, like a shifty vampire hanging off the economy’s throat, the creative people at Amazon Prime are busy making or acquiring some of the flat-out best TV ever committed to a streaming-service, from the extra-weird slice of fun-pie that is The Tick, to the entertainingly horrifying cultural dissection of The Boys to the utterly unique Carnival Row, to the superbly adapted American Gods. It’s a bit like discovering that Geoffrey Dahlmer single-handedly created a body of artistic work to rival Vincent Van Gogh’s when he wasn’t pouring acid onto the brains of emotionally vulnerable young adults. It gives me a headache.

The Clint Eastwood Award for Most Effective Older Gentlemen… … Goes to Joe Biden, for unseating dipshit in chief Donald Trump with the casual badassery of a Wild West gunslinger shooting a baddy (probably played by Leonardo Di Caprio) in the balls. I mean, he’s not the best Prez America could ask for but a) as a Brit I don’t have to care and b) anyone who ousts Trump gets mad props from me.

The ‘It’s a Pity Everything Else is Shit Now’ Award for Best New Ongoing Series… … Goes to my own Youtube series, Victor The Magician, in which I claim to be a reality-hopping, interdimensional wizard on an endless quest to… perform magic, basically. I’ll admit that the quality is super-variable (Youtube algorithms and their constant demand for fresh content be a harsh mistress, etc., etc.). However, when I’m good, I’m really good. If you’re looking for a punch-line other than the fact that this whole bit is a self-promoting plug, it’s this: my Youtube series really was the best thing to come out this year. Not because I’m great or anything, just by default. A promising year really did turn into a cultural wasteland the moment COVIDius Rex reared its scaly head.

The Zombie Ian Curtis Award for Most Crushing Disappointment… … Goes to Rick and Morty Series 4. As I think I’ve said before, it was still good, but it just didn’t reach the dizzy heights of nihilistic lunacy achieved in series 1-3. I think the problem is that the audience is meant to learn something from Rick’s poor choices, even if he doesn’t, because the creators saw the amazing success of Bojack Horseman and decided they wanted a slice of that sweet, tangy deconstructionist pie. It worked up to a point in the climax of Series 3, but having made their point, the showrunners probably should have moved onto a different point. They forgot that the appeal of Rick Sanchez is his combination of ‘entertaining car-crash of a human being’ and ‘unstoppable superbeing’. Push him through an arc and you risk breaking the thing that makes him and the show so endlessly watchable. Rick, unlike Bojack, just wasn’t built for heavy introspection. Also, the team hired on new writers who were less than familiar with the characters, setting and subtext, and that’s always an invitation to disaster.

The Special Sir Mixalot Award for Posteriority… ...Goes to… my girlfriend and glamorous assistant, Mystic Miss Terri, who’s arse is gorgeous and majestic.

The ‘Are They STILL Making That?’ Award for a Show You Forgot Existed And is Now Back… … Goes to Supernatural, which never technically went away and whose final series is apparently being broadcast on one of the 4 channels (though who knows which one, any more), It’s kind of nice to realise it’s still out there and be reminded that there are still people who care deeply about what happens to it. It’s like when you remember ‘oh yeah, [insert cute animal here] actually exists and isn’t just an internet meme. That’s nice’. Also, it’s good to see Jared Padelacki working steadily. It can’t be easy to find acting gigs when most producers just want to shoot you and mount your antlers over a fireplace.

The Irritating Magician Award for Something That Just Won’t Fuck Off… ...Goes to this blog entry, which is three pages long in Word. Good grief. Bye y’all! See you next year, assuming that the last few days of 2020 don’t culminate in a civilisation-destroying attack by giant space-ants. If that seems worryingly specific, let’s just say that- as Leonard Cohen would say “I’ve seen the future and, brother, it is murder”… by giant space-ants.

[zeep-xanflorp]

ok so basically the only thing i Agree w majorly is that there's a criminal lack of b plots in this season. there have literally been none and i haven't decided how i feel about that. also agree that morty is getting majorly sidelined this season. he wasn't really in the first few episodes and then he got thrown to the side by evil morty, and then he became a mutant who can't communicate for most of the episode. which i don't rlly like.

so now my main two things about this analysis.

first, i feel like the series has done "show don't tell" EXTREMELY well through its entire run. take for example rick sacrificing himself in 201 w the collar and later pretending it didnt happen. he doesn't outright state "morty i have a rough exterior but i really do care about you and think you're important deep down," but we as the audience can easily gather that from his actions. it's not until season 6 i believe when he does outright state that morty's life matters. it doesn't come out of nowhere bc the viewers who have been paying attention already know that; and rick voicing that sentiment shows character growth and gives him a vulnerability that i think a dude who calls himself a god every other episode needs to stay entertaining and grounded.

in the new episode (707), i feel it's a similar thing going on. we've been shown that rick treats summer differently to morty. that he rewards her for her work. that for all intents and purposes, he treats her like an equal. the subtext that he did this because she reminded him of diane was far from blatant even though some people definitely connected that, so you can argue that came out of nowhere. but the idea that he treats summer the way he does because they have mutual respect for each other isn't something new to viewers who have been paying attention. and rick being able to tell this to summer once again makes him vulnerable. it explains why he makes her work for him transactionally instead of demanding things.

it kinda reminds me of how in good omens, aziraphale and crowley had to kiss because it was the final nail in the coffin to show that their relationship was more than platonic to viewers who hadn't already caught on. to the part of the audience who didn't realise rick cares about morty and didn't realise rick has respect for summer, these moments of spelling out subtext can give them a lot of clarity.

now my second point is about the sexuality of the characters.

while it Does bother me that they seem to be straight washing a lot of the members of the smith family who are definitely queer, i don't think this has ever rlly applied to summer. she's always been bisexual, always had onscreen relationships with both men and women, and i don't think that her ending up w the kuato girl at the end of the episode is contrived at all. they had a connection after being trafficked and i think them exploring their relationship further is only natural. you may have a point that they could have dedicated more screen time to that, but for me that's not rlly a necessity even if it would be appreciated idk.

and i didn't really think of summer's choice at the end was a big "summer is gay" reveal. again, it's been shown throughout the series and in the comics so if ppl are surprised by that then they just haven't rlly been paying attention. i don't rlly think the writers should get special credit for including it either but idk. i found it pretty wholesome.

the gay jokes in the jerricky episode were a little on the nose, which i also agree with, but again. for certain members of the audience, rick is this alpha male straight man so at a certain point it Needs to be spelled out to them. and the "confessing you're gay" joke happening in a room of supportive mobsters feels like the classic rick and morty subversion of tropes so i think it still works.

anyway this reply ended up being longer than i wanted. there's not a wrong way to consume fiction and everyone interprets everything differently, but always remember we stand together with one thing uniting us:

WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE B PLOTS???

warning: a rant no one asked for!!!

episode 7 wasn't bad but i'm kinda disappointed abt how the writing is less and less subtle and they're forgetting the show don't tell rule

e.g. rick saying summer reminds him of diane, even tho he already said that before to the ai he made in c-137 (it had a huge impact in that scene). now he said it in a moment where it wasn't earned at all. it was still sweet ig.. it's just that some scenes feel like the writers have a fucking check list for the things they gotta make the characters say and make up stories around those dialogues. it comes out of nowhere.

then revealing summer's gay (what a big reveal, we already know that if you've read the comics or if you've seen the episode where jerry developed an app with glootie) in a random way like: oh look she doesn't want the guy because she want girl!! what a girlboss, another W for lgbt community /s

they could've used the time they wasted on showing off the boring ass party (that was really uncreative) to show summer and the girl develop at least some basic feelings lmao, but they just put the least effort into it so they could take "summer gay" off that checklist. like come on, i'd be interested in their relationship, they could have made her an actual person, but they gave more personality to the guy trafficking summer.

a similar thing happened in the cursed jerricky episode, where one of em said "we're all a little gay" like BE MORE SUBTLE I'M BEGGING!!! i always loved the show for not saying certain things out loud and not having to spell shit out for the audience, but in some episodes they wrote it like it's intended for children.

i'm kinda disappointed at the writing of a few episodes this season, they don't seem like they were thought out very well.

some episodes feel really bland because they make the characters say the most NPC phrases imaginable.

what's interesting is that most scenes with rick aren't affected by this at all, it's like all the effort is put into his writing, which is like a good thing for rick fans, but if they don't fix the world around him soon, i swear i'm gonna start theorizing that he's in a simulation again.

[dorklyevil]

Bad decisions

Part two of Not Yours and shit comes down here lol (i did this and the other fic yesterday but i’m only posting it today lol and this one has artworks!)

Ships: Doofus Erica/Evil Rick, Doofus Erica/Eyepatch Rick

3k+ words - sfw - F/M - Sad romance, complicated feelings, a lot more of bad decisions, alcoholism, light harassment and suicidal tendencies 

It's been months since the little issue between him and 7-b happened, and he grew increasingly agitated and drunk, which affected his work performance, Scarlip had enough of it.

 On their way back to their little hide out, after a pretty much messed up mission, he scoffed a remark at Eyepatch.

 "Monsieur." His tone clearly irritated, he ran his hand through his hair, attempting to straight it out, "What-What's wrong with you? It's pissing me off that you're being more of a fuck up than usual." He scoffed and Eyepatch seemed to pay him little attention, and it pissed him off more, grabbing him by the arm, he glared, "Don't start that attitude with me, Connard. You're ruining our reputation as excellent hitmen! What-What the hell is even up with you!?" That earned him a glare from the Brit, wrenching his arm away from the Frenchman's grip, he seethed at him,

 "None of your bloody business." He spat, and Scarlip rolled his eyes, "Uh, I think it is because, hmm how do I say this, you're ruining our work!" He growled.

 Patch just waved a hand over his face, dismissing him, "I don't want to talk about it. Besides, it was your fault this mission failed because the bloody cops saw you." He taunts and Scarlip fumed, squaring up at Eyepatch who seemed unphased, "-That's because YOU didn't hear our signal! For fuck’s sake, it's getting tiring doing ALL of the work for you. It's as if I brought a long a kid with training wheels when he can't even do an escape correctly!" He said through barred teeth, and the Brit didn't care, he had little to no care when it came to their work, he was distracted, and it seemed to not bother him anymore. 

 Scar took a deep breath, trying to compose himself, "As much as I love seeing you miserable, Monsieur. I can't, in good conscience, let you ruin our work. Is this about that Erica?" He huffed and Eyepatch shot him a bloody glare.

 "Don't you dare start." He growled, attention full on him now.

 The Frenchman raised a cocky brow, crossing his arms with a mocking smirk, "What? You didn't think I knew about your little date nights? You two seeing each other in that mediocre cafe? Seriously." He laughs, almost pitying the other, who seemed he'll lash out at him at any moment, "Why are you even getting worked up over some... Girl? That's the last thing we should be concerned about-" and at that moment, he saw stars when Eyepatch struck him with a powerful punch to the cheek, causing him to swing and fall to his side, he groaned and rests a hand on his abused cheek, spitting a bloodied spit, he chuckles darkly.

 "Well, I didn't think that would be your weakness." He taunts again and Eyepatch towers over him, grabbing him by his collar and raising him so they're both at eye level, he threatened him,

 "If I ever hear you bring this up again, I'll bloody murder you." He growled, and Scar just chuckled,

 "Heh, I guess I'll have to try harder, then." He smirks, and Eyepatch hated it.

 The two just stared at each other, one was fuming and the other was just loving it, he sets Scar down and straightened out his suit, fixing his tie and cast him a disgusted look, "You better watch your tone, Scar. Or you'll have more than just a scar running down your fuckin' face." Scarlip just shrugged and walked on, eventually the Brit followed behind him, the evening between them winded down, he thought, he hoped, but Scarlip didn't seem like he's gonna let him live it down.

 "Look, monsieur. If I were you, why don't you just confront her again? Like a fuckin' Rick. You just don't seem like yourself these days, your mind fleeting to dangerous territory. Where-What even happened to that cold, heartless, precise Rick I worked for?" He raised a brow and Eyepatch internally groaned, as if it offended him, "Don't you already think it's dangerous territory talking to her again? And if that bloody Rick found out, it wouldn't just be a murder, you know. And unlike you- I actually respect her space." He commented and Scarlip just laughed,

 "Well, doesn't that make it a lot more fun?" He purred, and Patch was regretting his decisions having to work with this guy, but something in him actually seemed to be taking the other man's advice, it disgusted him of himself.

 "No, it doesn't. It's a clusterfuck of bad decisions."

 -----

 Eventually parting ways, he made his way back to his home, and the first person who greets him was his grandson, throwing both arms around him, happy and excited to see him again, he sags his shoulders, relaxing slightly,

 "G-Grandpa Patchy! Welcome home-!" He nuzzled him and looked up happily, he chuckles softly and ran a gentle hand through the boy's curls, "Hey, chap." the young boy giggled, letting him go and steps back slightly, "I-I made us dinner! I hope you're hungry f-for some roasted chicken~" he then runs off to the kitchen, and the older man followed. He loved the little bugger, he was the last person who's keeping him sane from everything that has been happening lately, and seeing him just relaxes him again.

 Dinner between the both of them was him eating quietly and Bucktooth telling him about his day, he saw a blue jay land on their window and he attempted to pet it but it flew away, he nodded while he ate, though his attention caught when the boy nudged his hand, "G-Grandpa, I've-- I've noticed you're not doing well... Are you okay?" His face turned to a frown and Eyepatch just sighed, "I'm alright, Chap. Just a tiring day from work, is all..." he lied, he was getting good at it but the boy knew better, moving to sit next to him, he sighs softly, "I-I know you're telling me that so-so I'll feel better... But I care a-about you, and seeing you so down makes me sad..."

 He frowned, he didn't like it when Morty felt sad, and he feels worse that he's being a cause of it, instead he gently pats the other's head. "Grand-Grandpa's gonna be alright, yeah? He's just having a down day, you don't have to-"

 "D-Do you love her, Grandpa Patchy?"

 It stunned him, "W-What?"

 "Y-You know, th-the Bucktooth Erica... Do you-Do you love her?" He asked with a questioning gaze, he felt flustered and embarrassed that his own grandson was giving him the talk. But instead he feels defeated, all these past few weeks of denial and resorting to destructive vices, came all washing down on him, he felt tired, useless and above all, humiliated.

 "I... I do." He mumbles weakly and he saw Bucktooth scoot closer, "She-She makes you happy, doesn't she?" He asked and he nodded sadly, the boy smiled almost apologetically,

 "Then h-her happiness must mean a lot to you as well, r--right...?" He asked again, and he couldn't look at the boy's face. "I-I..." he mutters but he stops when he felt Buck's hand rest over his, "If you really-really love her, you'd let her go... I bet she-she wants you to be happy as well."

 Unaware, he felt a stray tear roll down his uncovered eye, and his patch felt damp, he was crying. Infront of his grandson, all the truths of disregarding his feelings, just numbing the stinging pain in his heart for ruining what they both had because of his stupid actions, and his grandson reminding him the very reason of his mental breakdown, it took a toll on him. Weakly, he raised a free hand to cover his eyes, he sobbed quielty and the boy cooed him,

 "I-I know it hurts... N-Not being able to have what we want. But sometimes, t-things we want, pe-people we love, it's just not meant to be..." Buck said sadly, he comforted his grandpa, who seemed to be speechless and all he could do now was sob the month's worth of pain he intended to hide.

 Both being torn with the right thing to do and what his heart was screaming what it wanted, he had to make the choice.

 But he was a clusterfuck of bad decisions.

 -----

 A week later from him and Buck's talk, he felt he was doing better and Scarlip noticed that, he was slowly starting to be his old self again and gained him a praise from the Frenchman. But all of that ended when he was on his way home, and the memory he was literally trying his best to push away was infront of him, he saw her.

 At that same cafe, same spot, same drink and reading her little handbook, the walls he built around his heart toppled down all over again, he watched her from outside and through the glass windows. She was beautiful, unaware, peaceful. And he was there, slowly crumbling from the last of his resolve, he wanted to go inside the cafe, sit with her, ask her about her day, tell her how amazing she was, but he was stunned in place. And maybe after a few minutes of standing there, staring at her like she was some ghost from the past, her eyes meet his, for the first time again in a long time. She looked shocked, he thought he might've scared her away but instead, the corners of her mouth tug to a small smile and she slowly raised her hand, waving at him. His heart swells by the little gesture, oh how he missed her polite little smile, he returned it. He smiled and waved, hoping the smile was enough to hide the pain he was in, only to be ruined once again when he saw someone approach her seat. The tall, handsome, mirror version of himself, walking to kiss her on the forehead, then her hand, he sat across her. And her attention was ripped away from Eyepatch then to her man.

 He felt destroyed.

 That man was the gruesome reminder that she didn't belong to him, and it slapped him hard on the face. Embarrassed as he realized he was gawking out there long enough, he walked away. Far away, he decided he didn't want to come home yet, he didn't want to be reminded again by his grandson that he can't have her, which in reality, would be a good thing. But God forbid him to have a peaceful night, so instead he walks to the nearest bar and drank his heart to a numbness. He honestly wished someone decided it was a goodnight for a mass murder because oh how he desperately wanted to be shot through the head. But life didn't work that way.

 A regrettable amount of whiskey later, he dragged his feet along the sidewalk, swaying side to side, he laughed at himself for looking so pathetic, it wasn't rare for him to be this batshit drunk, but that comes with actions he wouldn't do if he was sober, he found himself standing infront of the apartment space, and gawked up at their window,

 "F--EUGH-uck it---" he slurred drunkenly.

 He reached in his pocket for the stolen portal gun he took on one of their missions, he shot a portal through the wall and stepped through it, stumbling inside said apartment room, causing enough noise to alarm someone to get up and check, the other side of his brain wished it was that Erick who was ready with a gun to shoot him, but to his luck, it was 7-b, who was stunned to see him laying down by their door, she quietly but hastily went over to him, kneeling and helping him stand, she spoke in a loud whisper,

 "Oh-Oh my god, What are you doing inside-- What are you doing here, P-Patch!?" She whimpered and looked behind her, then back at Patch whose body seemed to sag against her like a sad sack of potatoes, he grips her nightdress,

 "I--Eugh-- Wanted-- to see you..." he slurred, a sad attempt to sit up, 7-b just helped him, but she was nervous he can tell,

 "Erick might wake up a-and find you-- You shouldn't be here!" She spoke a loud whisper again, and it seemed hopeless since Eyepatch's drunken state seemed to be opposing.

 He reeked of alcohol and she could tell he was intentionally getting himself drunk, she scrambled to grab the portal gun on the side, jutting in random coordinates and opened up a new portal, intending to push him inside, the grip he had on her caused her to topple on the other side with him, and with a yelp, the portal closed in behind them, leaving the apartment room quiet once more.

 -----

 Good thing they were still within the Citadel, she groaned softly and looked around, they seemed to be on the south part, something or someone shifted below her, she swings her head back around and down only to see Patch was underneath her, slurring something she couldn't understand, but she sighs and just rests on top of him, her tears forming on the corners of her eyes once more,

 "W-What are you... Why are you doing this...?" She sniffed and he attempted to look at her, gently raising his hand to tuck her hair back her ear,

 "I--- I can't help--URP-- it... I had to see--you..." he croaked and she shook her head,

 "You know that I can't-- We can't, and I thought we already d-decided on that?" She declared sadly and his mind didn't seem to register that properly.

 She tried to protest but he had her in his grasp tightly, he pushed himself up so he's sat and she's just awkwardly sitting over his lap, she frowned but he spoke,

 "I--I know I fucked up--- I really wanted to-EUGH- say i'm sorry... I'm really... s-sorry..." he muttered and she sighed, "W-Well this isn't really a better way to a-apologize, Patch... Please, if there's anything else you want to say, s-say it now. Erick will--or might wake up and if he realizes I'm not the-there he'll--!" Her little scolding was stopped when he crashed his lips regrettably against hers again, she shrieked under it. The previous kiss he gave her months ago was soft, unsure and restrained. Now it was demanding, dominating, hungry. She was toppled down on her back and he loomed above her, with her wrists pinned over her head, she desperately squirmed underneath him, but he was stronger.

 Her legs kicked around desperately, hoping she could break away but he has had her pinned tightly to the grass, he kissed her hungrily and she cried underneath, pleading, scared. He pulled away from the kiss to catch his breath, hazy eyes looming over her figure. Her face, flustered, drenched in tears and broken, she cried, "St-Stop-- Stop this Patch, you're hurting me!" She struggled from his grip and he growled lowly,

 "I want-- you... and I don't---EUGH- I won't stop until I have you..." he slurred and started running down kisses on her neck, her skin shuddered and she continued to struggle until one of her hands broke free, effectively pushing him off of her and she scrambles back away from him and she pressed her back against the tree behind her, "S-Stay away from me!"

 He slowly regained his balance and walked towards her, kneeling infront of her, attempting to reach her face until he felt a sting on his cheek, she slapped him hard, hard enough to have his face turned away from her, he froze in place as she continued to cry.

 "I-I hate you..."

 "I-I" he wasn't sure if the statement she said or the slap sobered him up, but he realized his actions a little too late, resting a hand over his cheek and he looked back at her. Her face was turned into an angry expression, brows furrowed and the tears continued to roll, never has he seen someone look at him so hatefully, so disgustedly, he tried his best to take it back,

 "Bunny- I--" he started but was cut off again with another slap, a little gentler this time, "W-Why can't you just leave us alone! I-- I was happy... I'm already happy, w-why are you coming in on us like this-I--... We're getting married tomorrow... And t-this is how you greet me?" She spoke angrily but also sadly, and if that wasn't enough to break Patch, she continued.

 "I'm marrying him. And I don't w-want to see you there, Patch." She demanded, and he felt the earth swallowed him.

 He just stared at her, dumbfounded and heartbroken. What has he done? Were his demons that strong and got the best of him? He didn't know, all he knew was he fucked up thoroughly, and he just sat back there, pinching the bridge of his nose and his shoulders start to shake, he unabashedly cried. And this seemed to prick the pity in 7-b's heart, she slowly crawled over to him, with a soft, gentle sigh.

 "...Patch. I'm sorry... I-I, you know that we can't do this." She reached to rest a hand on his shoulder, he sagged against her touch, allowing that atleast, she soothed him by giving gentle rubs on his back, shooshing him, "Patch, y-you're a great guy... I'm sure there's someone out there who'll appreciate that... I want you to be happy too, and if I'm causing you all this misery then I'm sorry..." she bit her lip, his arms loosely wrapping around her, not in an affectionate way, this time, it's as if to keep him from ending it all here and then.

 "...Die." He muttered between his sobs, and it stunned her, scared. She swallowed, "W-What?"

 "I just--... want to die."

 She tensed and paled, she held him, and she didn't know what to do or say, she's afraid she'll just set him off more, but time was ticking, "I-N-No... don't say that, y-you don't deserve to die... We all make bad decisions, a-and suicide is one of them... th-think about what your grandson will feel... he'll be heartbroken." She reasoned and he just laughed weakly, she felt something cold brush her thigh, and she shivered, he spoke again.

 "...Nothing matters." She heard a cock of a gun, and she bravely rests her hand over the nose of the gun, her hand being the only barrier from the gun and underneath his chin, she shook slightly and held him tighter,

 "T-This isn't the answer..." she started to cry, she felt afraid, she didn't want to be a cause of someone's death, they just sat there. His life was on her hands and she didn't know what to do.

 She slowly dragged her hand down and to his, lightly wrapping around the gun's handle, effectively distangling his fingers off the gun, letting it drop to the side, while she laces their fingers together. She closed her eyes, and spoke softly against his hair,

 "Do you... Do you remember the time where, y-you and I were at the cafe? We talked for hours about life and other things? I loved it when I hear you laugh, and when you tell me stories about Morty, just seeing you so happy. I want that to happen again, I want you to feel genuinely happy... and if you die now, I'll never get to see that again." She spoke calmly and she felt the Brit rest against her, she's pretty much cradling him now, not pulling her hand away from his as an attempt for keeping his hand off the gun, she continued,

 "We-We do bad things for the right reasons... but the pain isn't forever... Wh-When I first met Erick, he used to be so protective of himself, he said bad things to me, hurt me, even... But all because his past took such a toll on him, it traumatized him and I helped him through it all... I'm hoping that I could save you too, Patch. You deserve as much as we all do..."

 He spoke finally, "You... You remind me so much of her..." She opened her eyes and looked down at him, "Wha-What...?"

 "My Diane... you're so much like her..." he stared at nothing, but he continued, "She was... she was my eye donor, my beautiful wife. The day when I had an accident, she didn't hesitate to give up hers... and one day, life decided it was time to take her... When we had Beth, she... She couldn't take the delivery... and she died, along with our daughter... Every morning, when I get ready. I can see her eye, on me... looking at me... So I always... cover it up..." he spoke quielty, and 7-b sat there, stunned, "When Morty was assigned to me, I was floored on how much he resembled her, and then you came around... I guess I... I don't know..." he lightly grips her hand tighter, and he closed his eyes as he rests against her, "I guess I found a reason to believe the world isn't a bad place... but reality isn't always fair, it plays dirty as much as I take out lives due to my work..."

 She frowns, now feeling bad about the tone she had with him earlier but he spoke once more, "It's crazy... isn't it? We're always chasing things that gives us inner peace, only to realize that peace requires sacrifices... Ahah... It-It should've been me... but life took both of them away." His voice held years of pain, and yet, she didn't know what to say, other than,

 "I... I'm so sorry, Patch."

 He shook his head, "No... I'm sorry, I should never had put this burden on your shoulders." Finally, he pulled away from her, and grabbed the discarded portal gun on the side, jutting the coordinates back to her apartment, he shot it to the tree,

 "I wish you all the happiness, Bunny." He said with a smile, and lightly pushing her back, and he watched the portal closed in on him, he was left to sit there alone.

 ---

 She sat near their apartment door, stunned and surprised, she just listened to another person's life story, and she didn't got the chance to help. Standing up, she walks back to their room and she sees Erick peacefully sleeping on their bed, his leg hanging off of the bed as he sprawled across, snoring softly. She smiled and walked around him, she sat near him as she gently caresses his hair, stirring him slightly awake.

 "Mhh... Hey, baby..." voice still gruff from sleep, he pops an eye open at her, she smiles down on him, "Hey sleepyhead." He chuckled sleepily and shifts to his side to rest his face against her thigh, laying an arm over them,

 "You couldn't sleep...?" He mumbles against her skin, and she sighs, heart still heavy from what happened,

 "Yeah... But e-everything will be alright. Go back to sleep..." she says while she strokes his hair, and he does just as so. 

 She listened to the quiet sounds of his snoring, the tick of their bedside clock, and the faint, ringing sound of a gunshot.

 Fin

[dalekofchaos]

I know you hated Luke's portrayal in TLJ, but if Luke went to Crait for real, how would you want it to go?

First actually show Luke training Rey. Show that Luke is hesitant to training another generation of Jedi because of the Jedi who died at the hands of Kylo Ren. He’s shameful, especially after losing Han and not being able to save his best friend. And after R2 shows Luke the message from Leia, Luke remembers what’s at stake, he remembers what he was fighting for, he remembers what he was willing to die for. His family. His sister. He tells Rey he will teach her how to master the force, how to become a Jedi and then he will leave with her to save Leia. He shows her how to feel the force. He tells her the history of the Jedi and how their code and unwillingness to change allowed the rise of Darth Sidious and the birth of Darth Vader. When Rey says that him saving his father and the galaxy, have Luke say this.  “The galaxy thinks I’m a flawless hero who defeated evil all by myself with the power of the Force, but in actuality I failed a lot and learned a lot, and relied on my friends to help me in all of my legendary feats. And in the end, it was simple human compassion that defeated the Emperor. Not legendary fighting skills.” Luke would tell her attachments can lead to the dark side, but only if you let them, love can save you, not condemn you. Then we see Luke and Rey training with melee weapons. Luke with his staff and Rey with hers.  And finally Rey does go to the dark side hole. Luke comforts her. Rey says “I’ve never felt so alone.” And we get Luke telling her “the force is strong in my family. My father had it, I have it, my sister has it and my daughter has it” “There is a reason you dreamed of this place.” “You were never meant to be left on Jakku…I thought you died the night in the academy.” “All those years. I was so alone.” “I know. I’m sorry.” “Did you ever try to find me?” "Of course. For so long I searched the galaxy for you. Everyone said that you had died that night in the temple, that I should give up searching. But through the force, I could still feel you. I knew you were still alive. Every face I seen, it was your. Every voice I heard, it was yours. It drove me crazy. I came to this island, turned away from the force because it was so hard. Feeling that you were somewhere in the galaxy and being unable to find you. Seeing you in front of me right now… I’ve never felt so lucky.”And Rey with tears in her eyes. “I waited so long for you and your finally here” they embrace, father and daughter reunited.” Rey then asks about her mother. Luke sadly says “her name was Mara Jade and she loved you very much.”Rey why she was left on Jakku. “Because of your cousin Ben, Kylo Ren.”

Luke tells her that after a decade of training Ben, and fighting to keep the dark side at bay, Ben turned to the dark side because his family kept the secret that Darth Vader was his grandfather. He still wanted to help his nephew and save him from Snoke. One night he went to him to talk to him, Ben saw this as Luke being afraid of his power and Ben was the one to strike first. And then he woke up to see the other Jedi Masters dead. His wife Mara Jade dead and even the younglings dead. Only six other Jedi left with Ben, those who would become the Knights Of Ren. Rey left with Ben because she trusted her cousin and she couldn’t find Luke or Mara.  and Ben left her on Jakku where no one would ever find her because a part of him couldn’t kill his cousin. Rey has a vision like Luke did. Rey sees The Resistance dying one by one and this prompts Rey to leave Rey must confront Kylo Ren again and to stop him and Snoke. Luke wishes her good luck and safety, while he must save Leia.

Luke and Rey have a genuine mentor/student relationship, and now a father and daughter relationship. There was so much evidence that Rey is Luke’s daughter. Their relationship was MEANT to be the heart and soul of the movie and it should have been so.  

Then we would see Luke and the force ghosts of his masters. It would not just be Yoda, but Obi-Wan and Anakin as well. We did not need a scene of Yoda trolling Luke. We needed a emotional scene of Luke being reunited with his father and old masters. We needed to see Obi-Wan and Yoda telling Luke how proud of him they are and say what happened with Ben was not his fault, Ben made his choice. We needed to see Anakin still holding out hope for his grandson, and we needed to see them all reignite the hope in Luke Skywalker. And finally we see Luke do what he failed to do in Empire. Lifting his old X-Wing out of the water.

The difference between the Throne Room battle would be that after Snoke is killed, to keep up appearances, Kylo Ren would fight Rey. Because the fight between Rey, Kylo and The Praetorian Guards was bad. The protagonist and antagonist fighting against faceless and characterless henchmen. There is no emotion or tension in the fight. So Snoke would send it away. And instead of fighting over the Lightsaber. They would battle for the second time. This time around it looks like Kylo has the upperhand, but before he could do any damage, Holdo hypperspace rams the Supremacy. Rey leaves Kylo Ren and any hope she had for her cousin, yet she cannot kill him.

On Crait, as we Finn about to make his sacrifice, and suddenly, we hear the blast of an old X-Wing destroying the siege cannon. Thus saving Finn, Rose and The Resistance. Finally we see Luke and Leia’s moment. This time it actually holds meaning because Luke is actually there and Luke in his grandmaster robes and with his Green Lightsaber. And then we would see the bulkhead open and Luke enters.

Kylo Ren orders every ship to fire on Luke AT-M6’s all firing but to everyone’s surprise, all blasts stop frozen in midair. Luke wipes the salt off his robes and sends the turbolasers right back at the AT-M6s and TIE-Fighters. Brings down the transports and Kylo’s shuttle and the Star Destroyers in orbit. Kylo descends from his crushed shuttle, preparing to kill his uncle. 

We have a real lightsaber battle between Luke and Kylo. Luke has his green lightsaber. Their blades clash. Their dialogue remains the same, but Luke is there. Luke is toying with Kylo, similar to how Vader toyed with him on Bespin.  When Kylo makes his dramatic slut™lunge at Luke, but Luke dodges and cuts Kylo’s hand off. And finally Luke gives his “see you around kid” but Luke does not die, he teleports onto the Falcon. 

Rey after meeting Poe, she is greeted by Luke, her master. Mentor and student, father and daughter together once more. Smiles and tears and happy to see each other again. Rey, Luke and Leia together. Both siblings holding their hands together on Rey and the broken Lightsaber. “We have everything we need”

We needed to see Luke as a powerful and wise Jedi Master. We needed to see Luke being empathetic and true to his character. We needed to see Luke Skywalker, not some nihilistic garbage someone came up with because they watch Rick And Morty.

[trashyocstash]

i’ve mentioned what julie may be like in some episodes of rick and morty, so i wanted to expand on this. feel free to share ideas if you have any, since i don’t have ideas for every episode(minus the unity one, since it wouldn’t exist here).

raising gazorpazorp: when things are a bit awkward since everyone can clearly hear morty having sex with the robot, julie just assures everyone that morty is a teenage boy, and it’s natural for him to be this way, disagreeing with jerry wanting to intervene.

when morty jr. is born, julie tells rick she’ll help look after him with morty, while rick goes off to gazorpazorp. unlike with his parents, morty doesn’t mind julie helping him, because she actually has good advice and does genuinely want to help. she ends up unnerved too when morty jr. seems to be all about death and destruction, and helps morty track him down, greeting rick with a kiss on the cheek when he comes back with summer.

rixty minutes: julie doesn’t mind the show they’re watching at the beginning, and knows about the device rick has to watch tv from other planets. she doesn’t mind the strange tv they watch either, since it’s not unusual for her. while beth, jerry and summer wear the goggles to see themselves in different realities, julie stays behind with morty and rick, watching tv with them.

when she sees summer running off upset into her room, she follows her and comforts her about finding out she was going to be aborted originally, and morty goes to help too. summer soon feels better, and she, morty and julie go back to watching tv. julie is shocked when she hears beth and jerry are planning on divorcing, and is happy when they kiss and change their minds.

big trouble in little sanchez(this episode was actually referenced in the part 2 of the julie lives au): julie scolds rick for being rude to summer, and when rick proposes the idea of beth and jerry going to the best couples counselling in the galaxy, julie agrees, since she wants them to work things out.

she ends up sharing summer’s concern about tiny rick, and tries to help him, but he’s not having it, upsetting her. julie joins morty and summer in confronting tiny rick in the garage, pleading with rick to remember how much he loves her, showing her wedding ring and pendent, but again, he’s not having it, saying he doesn’t need her, causing julie to cry. morty and summer are enraged by this, and she ends up helping them hold him down, with rick apologizing to julie too. she greets rick with a hug when he’s in his old body again, and just looks away when he slaughters his younger clones.

the wedding squanchers: julie is excited by the wedding between birdperson and tammy, as she loves love, and weddings, and is happy that birdperson has found love. she wears one of her old dresses, and rick acts like a flirt with her the whole time. rick’s wedding speech is also happier and not as cynical as it is in the original episode, thanks to julie.

she escapes with the family when the truth is revealed, and is upset by everything, with rick comforting her a bit. when they end up on that tiny planet together, she stays behind while rick goes out exploring, giving him a kiss before he goes. during the family talk, she defends rick against jerry, and comforts beth after she yells “because i don’t want him to leave again you dumb asshole!”.

when rick leaves, julie is devastated and sheds a few tears, feeling upset that he’s gone..

the rickshank rickdemption: julie doesn’t appear much, but she’s shown to still be very sad about rick leaving, constantly staring at her wedding ring and pendent, and looking tired, showing she hasn’t been sleeping much.

after rick returns, julie is very excited to see him, hugging him and kissing him all over. she ends up sad that beth and jerry are divorcing, but rick assures her it’s for the better.

(the diane scene would be different too, but i’m not sure what rick would do instead)

pickle rick: julie isn’t opposed to the family therapy idea, thinking it would be helpful. she dresses up nicely, and rick, as a pickle, compliments her outfit, making her blush. she asks why he’s turned himself into a pickle, but he just says it’s because he can, and she accepts it, laughing about it, thinking of it as just another one of rick’s crazy antics.

she is the most comfortable at family therapy, having no issue revealing her problems, and encourages the rest of the family to speak openly about their issues too, but beth is still hesitant. when rick comes back, she lets him sit on her lap. and when in the car, she has rick stay in the back with her so she can give him the antidote and look after him. she also insists that they should go back to family therapy, but beth isn’t so sure she wants to.

the abcs of beth: after many years, julie finally learns about froopyland, and is shocked, hurt that rick never told her, but they do work things out and he apologizes.

beth denies she was an evil child, but it’s made harder to do so since even julie agrees she was a little off, asking if the therapy she went to when she was younger made her block out her memories as a child. even here, rick still offers to clone her, with julie telling her to “make the choice you think is the best”. she eats the pizza with the family too.

[cartoonfan7]

I have another probably lame AU to Ducktales.

I have a new Ductales AU idea, and I promise it’s better than this one, specifically because I have expansive ideas about it.

It’s a Ducktales AU based on Madeline L’Engle’s A Wrinkle in Time and it’s currently upcoming 2018 cinematic film adaptation. Now because I’m only ideas with almost zero writing skill, I’m hoping that @i-restuff​ and/or any other Duckfan tumblr user(s) who write Ducktales fanfiction can write stories or help me expand/flesh out the following ideas.

So first things first, we should explain where this idea came from. I was listening to the version of Sweet Dreams (Are made of this) that Mark Hadley made for the 2018 Film trailer, when I decided to listen to the original and realized how fitting the lyrics to the full song are to Scrooge McDuck’s character/life experiences.

Sweet dreams are made of this Who am I to disagree? I travel the world And the seven seas, Everybody’s looking for something. Some of them want to use you Some of them want to get used by you Some of them want to abuse you Some of them want to be abused. Sweet dreams are made of this Who am I to disagree? I travel the world And the seven seas Everybody’s looking for something Hold your head up Keep your head up, movin’ on Hold your head up, movin’ on Keep your head up, movin’ on Hold your head up Keep your head up, movin’ on Hold your head up, movin’ on Keep your head up, movin’ on Some of them want to use you Some of them want to get used by you Some of them want to abuse you Some of them want to be abused. Sweet dreams are made of this Who am I to disagree? I travel the world And the seven seas Everybody’s looking for something Sweet dreams are made of this Who am I to disagree? I travel the world And the seven seas Everybody’s looking for something Sweet dreams are made of this Who am I to disagree? I travel the world And the seven seas Everybody’s looking for something Sweet dreams are made of this Who am I to disagree? I travel the world And the seven seas Everybody’s looking for something

Tell me I’m not crazy for thinking this. The trailer version gives off a grand, epic adventurous vibe that wouldn’t be out of place in Ducktales.

Now to give an idea of what will happen in this AU, and because I literally can’t summarize it any better, here’s a concise plot summary of A Wrinkle in Time, feel free to stop the video when it gets to the analysis.

So the premise/summary I have for the AU is this: the Triplets (Huey, Dewey, and Louie) are beginning to feel like their lives are in a rut. Their mother, Della’s, been missing for a good portion of their lives and while their uncle, Donald Duck, has been doing his best, acting as their legal guardian, they can’t seem to completely shake the “something’s missing” feeling. On top of that, the private school they go to (which is meant to be the same one that Gosalyn goes to in the Darkwing Duck comics) has come down with a MAJOR bullying problem, leading Huey, Dewey, and Louie to become ostracized for their status as triplets (being made fun of for being “the same”, so to speak.) So the bros, are chilling in their house boat one night, unable to sleep, when they’re visited by I-actually-haven’t-worked-that-out-yet and when Donald comes to investigate, he’s told the whole, “There is such a thing as a Tesseract,” and promptly faints. He soon after goes to visit Scrooge, and takes the kids and the currently-to-be-determined-entity since he has no one to watch them, and manages to get alone time with Scrooge to talk. HDL temporarily escape the CTBDE when they run into Webby, who’s backstory hasn’t really changed in this AU. They wind up overhearing Scrooge, Donald, and Gyro and bring up a secret collaboration with S.H.U.S.H. involving interdimensional travel and teleportation, powered by some of the magic artifacts that Scrooge has donated to science. Confronting the Mrs Whatsit stand-in about this, they reveal that HDL’s mom, Della, as well as Gyro Gearloose, among others of potential note, were involved in experimenting with magic and that Della was a test pilot for the teleportation portion. They also reveal that Della’s actually still alive, held on a distant planet, Camaztoz, and that they came to HDL (and now Webby, given that she and HDL became fast friends) because they believe that they’ll be ready to save Della. HDL are given a day to decide if they want to undergo this truly perilous quest and they stay over at McDuck Manor overnight. The kids get to know Scrooge during a particularly awkward family dinner. They then talk with both each other and Webby, getting to know her better and learning more about their family’s history. Each of the triplets has a different stance on whether they want to go on this quest or not and why, but they ultimately decide to go for it. As Donald and Scrooge convince Gyro and his intern, Fenton, to restart the teleportation/portal project, HDLW manipulate Scrooge’s chauffeur, Launchpad, into taking them to an address that entity #1 told them to go if they accepted. Telling, Launchpad to wait for them, HDLW go in, meet the other two entities-meant-to-stand-in for Mrs Who and Mrs Which, and are taken via bifrost-esque warping through spacetime to Uriel. While there, they kids have some fun before they get some info about the BLACK THING, a primordial illness that is attracted to negativity and evil and encourages them, creating a cycle for it to feed. They also learn of creatures made of the BLACK THING,  the Heartless. A similar backstory to the one in the book is explained, where one of the entities used to be a star, but went supernova to kill the BLACK THING. They’re then ferried to whoever the Happy Medium is this AU (They could look like Fethry Duck?) and get briefed on what they need to do. Basically, break Della out of space prison. The entities then put the kids through Trials involving space-time fuckery, including a bit in the book where a Tessering incident briefly turns everyone 2D. They’re teleported to Camazotz after they pass and are given ‘gifts’ to help them on the quest, meant to last until the quest is fufilled, i.e. Della is free and everyone can party it up on Earth over they’re success. Huey gets the gift of knowledge, Dewey choice, Louie creation, and Webby destruction. (Possible spoilers for RWBY, but if you’re following me, I’m assuming you’re watching and are caught up or don’t watch and just don’t care.)

While all of the above is happening, Lauchpad tells the Duck Uncles™ about what happened. After Donald, Scrooge, and Beakly manage to get over the initial shock, they have Launchpad take them to the teleporting site and have Gyro examine the residual energy left behind as it might provide a clue to perfecting the teleporting experiment and provide a way to save HDLW (The Duckles™ don’t know about the Della Retrieval Arc that they signed up for.) Gyro manages to make the portal successful enough to track down locations that HDLW have been to and Donald, Scrooge, Beakly, Launchpad, Gyro (who has the controls to the Portal Gun (think the Other Dimension-inator from PnF or Rick Sanchez’s Portal Gun), and Fenton (who’s bringing Project Blatherskite with them incase something happens that Scrooge, Donald, and Beakly can’t handle). They have their own adventures following the kids, including a brief jump in-between dimensions where they encounter wild Heartless.

HDLW land on Camazotz, which initially seems normal, too normal. The creepy, synchronized citizenry soon make themselves apparent and HDLW make their way to a structure called “Central Cental Intelligence”, a massive Space Elevator/Citadel-Tower that reaches into the sky, lording over all. They also make note of the “domesticated” Heartless acting as the planet’s enforcers. Managing to infiltrate the Central Central Intelligence, they are eventually confronted by a Man with Red Eyes who briefly gets into a strife with them before inviting them to dinner and a tour. They hold their own for a while, but they are ultimately unable to keep up with his seemingly infinite stamina and ability to seemingly control the planet itself, rivaling the gifts the previously-discussed-and-still-currently-undecided-entities gave them. Taking him up on his offer, The Man with Red Eyes exposition dumps the story that Camaztoz used to be a REALLY shitty place until the man’s master, IT (Not to be confused for the Titular entity of Steven King’s Book and it’s two film adaptations of the same name) (this story is also kind of a darker version of Unity’s story with the nipple people planet, in-case you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m also a big Rick and Morty fan), and actually sells some of it to DLW, but Huey’s gift of knowledge let’s him see through the smoke and mirrors. It gets worse when they eat dinner as Huey sees through the mental illusions that make the food look and taste edible to the other people and even openly brings up the concern that Della might have been indoctrinated into this society and that the food could be laced with some type of chemical to brainwash them, a point Webby instantly agrees with. The Man assures the kids that no such things have happened, but he is capable of controlling them all if he wanted to. Huey then offers the Man a challenge (or should it be vice versa): he wants to use his gift, allowing a form of telepathy to see if he can find Della (as the man earlier confessed to knowing where she is) before the Man can affect his mind. Against the objections of the others, Huey takes the massive risk and engages in the most epic staring contest. He loses. Succumbing to the Hive Mind of IT, Huey guides the horrified-at-what-they-just-had-to-witness DLW to Della, all the while they try snapping him out of it with classic anti-hypnotism gags like physical violence, water, and literal snapping. Reaching and releasing Della, she’s initially confused over who saved her until the kids introduce themselves. Huey then claims to want to show them the way out with DLW rightfully suspicious of this claim. They all wind up in the chamber with IT, which resembles a massive brain (think Andross from Star Fox 64). Getting into close proximity to IT causes their minds to be assaulted telepathically by the Hive Mind’s full power. Della, who still has some teleporting power left (the only place it couldn’t work was in her prison cell), tessers the gang, sans Huey, away to Ixchel, a neighboring planet. Unable to completely protect herself or the kids as they pass through The Black Thing, they fall ill when they land. Luckily for them, the natives of the planet decide to look after them, nursing them back to health. It’s here when Scrooge and the others catch up the party.

Heartfelt reunions are had all around as the group worries about how to save Huey. The three entities that earlier guided HDLW return to give the kids some guidance and the entire reunited party tessers to Camazotz in order to storm the Central Central Intelligence. This results in an epic climax that almost gets everyone killed, when Dewey realizes what they need to do. In a moment reminiscent of Moana’s climax, the family focuses their love to Huey, breaking him free from the Hive Mind. IT is stunned allowing, them all to warp back to Earth. The entities take their gifts back, leaving the group to catch Della back up to speed.

I have some other ideas, but this went on for long enough. I’ll make a different post for those other ideas.

[aion-rsa]

INTERVIEW: Kyle Starks Plans to ‘Kill Them All’ – In Full Color

Previously published through Kickstarter in black and white, Kyle Stark’s “Kill Them All” is now bypassing the elevator and mowing a bloody swath up fifteen flights, all in full color when a new edition of the graphic novel arrives September 27 courtesy of Oni Comics.

RELATED: Russo Brothers & Fox’s Image Adaptation “Sexcastle” Adds “Happy Endings” Writers

Starks’ “Sexcastle” was up for Best Humor Publication at last year’s Eisner Awards, right around the time he successfully funded its spiritual successor “Kill Them All,” and he has since gone on to script comics based on the “Rick and Morty” animated series with artists including Marc Ellerby and CJ Cannon. In anticipation of this new edition of “Kill Them All,” featuring colors by Luigi Anderson, it’s the perfect opportunity to look back on this raucous sendup of ’90s action cinema.

The story follows the head-on collision of two very dangerous people out for vengeance, one a disgraced detective named Iruka, the other an assassin known as the Tiger’s Daughter. But really, it’s about the kicking and the screaming.

CBR: Can you talk a little bit about your process as a cartoonist and how projects like “Kill Them All” might differ from your collaborations on “Rick & Morty?” Was there a learning curve there, scripting for other artists? 

Kyle Starks: My process for myself and working with others are super disparate.  For my stuff – for “Kill Them All” or “Sexcastle” I don’t use a script at all.  I tell myself the stories and work them out and then I just start doing them.  Perfect cartoonist boy Andy Hirsch called it “comic book improv” and it’s not far off. I have maybe an outline.  But for “Rick and Morty,” obviously, a script is needed.  But I also do full layouts for “Rick and Morty” so sometimes it is the same as my process and then I just put a script together as a formality. That being said, working with other artist is definitely a different experience since I have to spill my idiot head out onto a script for them and pray I explain things in a way that makes sense to them like it does to me.

Let’s talk about this killing. Who’s doing the killing and why? Are any of us in danger? 

Are you a baddy? Do you have evil in your heart?  Are you plotting devious shenanigans?  Then you’re likely safe.  In the case of “Kill Them All” the killers are an alcoholic ex-cop, a recently wronged lady assassin and the killees is the criminal enterprise that wronged her.   I feel like maybe that didn’t sound, like, appropriately bombastic – how about: Two hard as hell bad asses are going to kill their way to the top of a 20 story building filled with criminals and mooks and nogoodniks and they are going to their bloody revenge.

When will your bloodlust be sated? When, Kyle? 

When all the baddies have been appropriately dealt with then I know I can set my pen and paper down, and relax in my easy chair. But until then, there are stories to be told. Stories that have a ton of kicking in them.

This all started in black and white with the initial independent Kickstarter, right? This takes things a step further.

Yup, the middle of last year or so I kickstarted it as a black and white, novel sized printing – Oni saw it and liked it enough to reprint it, bigger better, to a larger audience.

The added color lends a lot of atmosphere and mood. Do you consider this version…sexier? Is either version definitive for you, or is it simply a matter having the opportunity to offer choice? 

I think it’s definitely sexier. You’ll 100% want to kiss it – but resist! For “Kill Them All” is a book and thus a series of pages and a smoochy paper cut is the worst paper cut of them all.  With this printing being larger and in color, and Luigi doing a really great job of adding to the story with the color, it’s definitely the definitive version.

“Sexcastle” wore its ’80s action movie influences on its sleeve (or, well, supple, bare arms). Is this from that same place? 

As “Sexcastle” was my love letter to ’80s actions movie this one is sort of more a love letter to ’90s action cinema: buddy cops, estranged killers, dangerous crime cabals, skyscrapers to fight in.  I was inspired to make “Sexcastle” after watching “Roadhouse” for the 300th time, and I made this after seeing John Woo’s “The Killer” for the first time in over a decade. I then immediately re-watched “Hard Boiled,” and it all sort of starting falling into place.

You mention John Woo, who uses wind and birds a lot. As wind is almost unheard of in comics, how did you compensate for the lack of wind? 

John Woo was like the ignition in the chamber – there are also, unfortunately, no doves.  “Kill Them all” is very good and fun and full of action and tough guy talk, but it is a Failure of Doves, for sure.

What is next for Kyle Starks and those who love him?

Well, “Rock Candy Mountain” just came out from Image Comics as my new ongoing and I’m wildly thrilled about it. People are really going to like it – kicks and jokes and hobos, I mean it’s the total package. The total action-adventure hobo package. I also am, of course, on “Rick and Morty” for a long time. I’m currently set to be on it up to 40, I think, which in this era of comics I think is a really impressive run. I’m here to make comics, and I hope to keep making fun comics for a long time and make new people to love me and give them more stuff to love and we’ll all just be laughing laughing laughing for forever.

The post INTERVIEW: Kyle Starks Plans to ‘Kill Them All’ – In Full Color appeared first on CBR.

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