#this is why I shouldn’t be allowed to have multiple tumblrs

[plansexualford]

As a long time billford truther (this blog may be new but I’m not.) I’m so happy to see the revival of a ship that was once so misunderstood.

Below is my not so little rant about my frustrations with “but it’s toxic” people and the disservice it does in undermining not only fans’ intelligence but lowkey the writing of the content we’ve been given. Also, a bit on how fandoms in general seem to dismiss the use of ships (unless canonized/written directly into the story) as a medium to tell complex, and sometimes uncomfortable stories.

The frustration I have towards the people that act like they’re high and mighty for saying “billford is ironic, you shouldn’t actually ship it cause it’s toxic” or some variation of treating it as a joke or untouchable that piss me off for multiple reasons.

1. We know, you are not smarter or superior for acknowledging a fact that is crystal clear to see and is literally the most common way that dynamic is explored. Like wow, congrats on providing such valuable insight that none of us saw before. The only times I ever see it not explored in that way has maybe been through pre-betrayal interactions and what ifs.

Not to say there are NEVER clear misreadings (not aus/or fixits/etc. just poor understandings) of their characters that are devoid of what makes them—them, but I fear I truly dgaf and just wince and move on.

2. It is in my opinion, infinitely worse (edit: and honestly a sign of immaturity) to want the allusions to a toxic relationship to be jokes instead of simply accepting that a relationship did happens in canon, whether it happened platonically or romantically (though there is more subtext that 12 y/o me would have never I’d ever imagined reading as an adult for that latter recently.) It should be taken seriously, given that the book clearly wants us to, otherwise the allusions in the book and thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com would not exist in the way that they do. Why would you rather something like that be a joke instead of allowing yourself to sit with and accept discomfort?

Ultimately billford is twisted, it’s horrifying to imagine, it’s a tragically awful train-wreck we can’t look away from. After all that, Ford’s resolve is honestly healing. And if we see interesting, complex stories/art/musings to tell from this dynamic, what’s wrong with that?

Lastly, the source material is a Y7-V Disney Channel show that premiered over 10 years ago, we’re (I assume mostly) adults now. Unclench.

P.S. I’m being unserious when I say this but “toxic yaoi/yuri ” is apparently trend and y’all can’t handle a yellow triangle demon and a grown man from a Y7-V series? Smh. Take every variation of that phrase out your tumblr bio immediately, you don’t deserve it.

[regretsofaghost]

Day 30- My love for you is true, I swear it is, it just will kill you in the end

AO3 link to chapter 30- here Tumblr link to chapter 29- here Tumblr link to chapter 31- here

Word Count- 1000 words

Edwin did not burst into tears, did not scrunch his face in a show of beautiful sorrow, nor did he have tears fall silently down his cheeks like summer rain.

There was no beauty in watching his best friend fall apart.

Edwin, as he tended to, was silent. He buried his face in Charles’ chest, and Charles felt the wetness of tears begin to soak into his polo, with hardly a shudder going through Edwin’s body as he cried.

Hell had taught its lessons well, after all, and the most important one was silence. No one cared to hear the tears of a boy who did not belong there.

Leading Edwin was possibility the hardest thing Charles had ever done.

Edwin was covered in blood, eyes wavering and misty, lost, as Charles tried to keep up his commentary, tried to get the other to focus on him, to not think about the creature or all the memories the thing was trying to make him think of with every change.

Charles did not recognize them all, but he recognized Niko, saw her with the blood spilling out of her chest from where Esther had impaled her with magic, the paleness of her face as blood soaked her white outfit.

Charles could not let Edwin see that.

Charles could not focus on that.

So he kept asking if Edwin trusted him, as that seemed to make Edwin focus if only slightly more, a furrow in his thick eyebrows as if wondering why Charles would ever think otherwise.

“Always.”

“Of course.”

“I always do.”

It hurt, to hear. It felt like trickery, to have Edwin wax his praises after Charles had kissed him multiple times, all while Edwin was clearly still under the effects of that awful potion. All after Edwin had looked so lost, so resigned, as if the kisses meant nothing.

They mattered, so much, but Charles had to take care of Edwin first, and that meant getting them away from the wraith that had become fixated on Edwin.

“I’ve got you.” Charles murmured into Edwin’s hair, holding him closer, burying his face in the other’s messy hair. “It’ll be okay.”

“I-don’t know why I’m crying,” Edwin’s voice was wrecked, soft, little more than vibrations against Charles’ chest.

“Doesn’t need to be a reason, does there?” Charles pressed a kiss against the crown of Edwin’s head. “Just the two of us here.”

There were little hitches of breath, as Edwin pressed his nose against Charles’ chest, uncomfortable for both no doubt, but Charles wouldn’t ask Edwin to move.

It was a relief, when Charles led Edwin through the mirror back to their office, away from the wraith, Crystal safely on her way home with Charlie’s help.

It wasn’t a lie, when he told her that it would be best to allow him to help Edwin alone.

Charles was just, pretty sure Edwin didn’t want anyone seeing him in this state.

Hands holding hands, Charles led Edwin to the couch, guiding him to sit before reaching for his backpack, intent on finding flannels. Edwin’s hand tightened in his for a second, as if needing Charles’ contact, and well, Charles would not fail Edwin again.

It was a bit harder, to find what he needed with one hand clenching Edwin’s, but Charles would always make due for his friend.

Sure, the blood would eventually disappear, but-

It was an awful sight, blood covering Edwin’s chin and front, splattered and smudged on his dress shirt and sweater vest, hand completely covered in it as well.

There was little Charles could hope to do about the clothes without Edwin’s help, but their medical supplies always worked.

“I miss her, so much.”

“I miss her, too.”

Charles watched the way Edwin’s eyes grew heavy, gaze following his movements as he wiped away the blood from his chin and neck, making sure to be gentle.

“I-I worry, she died for me-“

“She- she died for us mate. Both of us were in there, trapped.”

“She- shouldn’t have had to be brave for us.”

Edwin’s lips were swollen from their kiss, his teeth now worrying the tender flesh as Charles got closer to his mouth with the flannel.

Edwin tasted like gin, the vague memories of pine needles and fresh flowers.

“Niko shouldn’t’ve.”

“I, I am also angry, at her.”

“…”

“She, she didn’t even say goodbye.”

Charles wondered what Edwin would taste like underneath the gin.

“She didn’t. Proper rude, innit?”

“…quite.”

The hand was next, and it was so much worse now. Charles couldn’t ask, couldn’t interrogate the other, not without that awful monster of anger lashing out.

There were two deep bite marks, a new one on his thumb, the old one just below it worsened.

Charles was gentle with Edwin’s hand, careful, as he wiped up the blood, revealing brilliant purple bruises that covered a good portion of his hand now.

It wasn’t the time for questions, it wasn’t the time to ask.

Not with Edwin’s sad, lost eyes.

“Did, you visit her?”

“…no.”

“Would you want to?”

“… I would not want to impose.”

“Can’t impose, grave’s for the living, innit?”

“We are not living Charles.”

“Then, grave’s for those left behind, innit?”

Edwin’s eyes followed Charles as he stood up, getting Edwin to his feet as well before laying on the couch, pulling Edwin on top of him.

Edwin made a noise of protest, but Charles wrapped his arms around him anyway.

“Please mate, just, let me help you.”

Charles laid there for a second, then another, then another. Right when he believed he overstepped, that they did not do this any more, did Edwin’s arms slowly start to wrap around Charles’ middle.

“I missed this.” Edwin’s voice was soft, sleepy, sounding as young as his sixteen years of life, rather than the hundred years of death and torture.

“I missed this too,” Charles replied, holding Edwin tightly, rubbing his nose in the other’s hair.

Edwin’s hair smelt like vanilla ice cream and old-fashioned pomade.

[is-the-fire-real]

‘Documenting my Jewish conversion’ your opinion on the last year means nothing, then. Absolutely nothing. You will never know the fear that real Jews have been facing since October 7th 2023, and you will never understand the risks that come from looking and acting like a Jew. You people shouldn’t even be allowed to call yourselves Zionists, because you have no ties to the holy land at all.

I bet you think Kahanism is ‘too much’, too.

Wow, Anon, this would really hurt my feelings if I believed for one second you were actually Jewish.

I could leave it at this and move on, but you know what? I'm feeling chatty and it's been a long time since I've made a big post on here, so let's sort out, piece by piece, why I know you're cosplaying.

For starters: if you were really Jewish, you wouldn't be anonymous. Jews who believe gerim aren't "real Jews" post their opinions on their blogs under their names. They are very few and far between, but they aren't shy. I believe that you have chosen to send this anonymously because you ARE shy... because your login info will demonstrate that you are an antisemitic goy who's trying to pick at what you assume is a sore spot.

Second, if you were really Jewish and you'd paid attention to what I've said about "the last year" (and then using the Gregorian calendar date, which is just funny to me), you would know that I haven't actually expressed an opinion on Zionism. I have reblogged material from other Jews expressing their opinions. Those Jews have ranged from Zionists to non-Zionists to post-Zionists to "refuse all terminology"-ists. I have chosen, deliberately, to do what we used to call signal boosting.

When I have expressed an opinion, it has been on the behavior of antisemites on Tumblr who pretend to be something they're not--usually, pro-Palestinian, but in your case, Jewish. I have been wondering what the "pro-Pal" fandom would do now that it's started to collapse from the fans getting bored, and you've demonstrated one possible tactic--so thanks for that!

Third, if you were really Jewish, you would have something to say about being Jewish that isn't what you said. I've read and spoken with countless Jews who talk about being Jewish. Look at the words you've chosen: "risk" and "fear". I have heard Jews express fear, and awareness of risk, but no Jew I've met would reduce all of Jewish experience to risk and fear.

The Jews I marked Yom Kippur with were aware of risk and had prudent fear. But they were not fearful. They were not obsessed with risk. They do not define their Judaism by terror, not even the little old lady in a foreign country who had bad ankles. I'm not going to tell you what the rest of Judaism entails, because you should know it yourself. I'm not going to make your anonymous cosplay easier for you by giving you explicit pointers.

Fourth, let's talk about "looking and acting like a Jew".

The man guiding my conversion has been physically attacked multiple times in the past three months, to the point where he has stopped wearing his kippah in public--especially around his own home because he's concerned someone will find said home and stalk/attack him and his wife. He is the leader of a group of Jews who are reinstating Judaism in a land where there have been no Jews in centuries. There will, for the first time in half a millennium, be a Torah in this part of the world due to his tireless efforts. He has, immeasurably, made the world a better, more spiritual, and more Jewish place. He is the guy the press and the government and the local Christian and Muslim groups contact if they want to ask about Jewish holidays or the opinion of the local Jewish population. He is the guy who writes all the statements put out by the local Jewish organization, of which he is the president and founder. In that sense, even taking off the kippah won't shield him--he is definitionally, visibly Jewish.

And you may tell yourself "Oh, he must be born Jewish if he's doing all that, so of COURSE he's got a lifelong experience with Judaism and of COURSE he's had a lifelong experience of antisemitism so of COURSE he knows more about all of this than you do, Fire."

This man is a convert.

He has, to use your attitude, "only" been Jewish for one-third of his life.

So, like, what did you mean by "looking and acting like a Jew" being a thing gerim know nothing about? What did you mean about how gerim cannot "look" or "act" like Jews enough to experience antisemitism? What was that about gerim not being entitled to opinions because of their ignorance on what being a Jew is like? What kind of phrenology are you practicing to determine who was a born Jew and who converted? What alchemy do you believe in in which the flesh of a born Jew has mystical qualia that mine does not?

I believe that I will enter the mikveh a ger, and I will emerge a Jew. My belief is in line with literally every rabbinical source I have encountered and the opinion of every single Jew I've ever read... except yours. Mysteriously, you don't believe the mikveh is a closed practice only for Jews, and that the only way a goy could ever be permitted to enter a mikveh is so that they will emerge from it Jewish, just as Jewish as those who emerged from their parents' wombs as Jews.

Why don't you believe that? Why are you the odd Jew out?

Is it because you're pretending to be Jewish to sow dissent and hurt random strangers for your own cruel pleasure? I sure think so!

Fifth, let's focus on the next bit in greater detail. Why do you think I'm a Zionist when I've never stated one way or the other?

I'll tell you why!

You found my name on one of the Zionist Blocklists that your fellow antisemites put together. I'm not on all of them, but I have ended up on at least one! And you're going through that blocklist, pretending to be Jewish in order to harass the Jews you found on there. You think you can try to trick me into abandoning my baby-eating ways by suggesting that the "real Jews" don't think I'm one of them.

The funny part about that is that I didn't end up on that list by being a Zionist on main. I ended up on that list by talking about my conversion process, reblogging pictures of Judaica, talking to Jews, and reblogging posts from Jews. That's it. That is why I know those blocklists are utter BS--because I, like dozens of other Jews would tell you if you weren't an antisemitic troll, wasn't on a Zionist Blocklist at all.

I was put on a list of Jews for the crime of being Jewish on Tumblr. You are trying to hurt me because I was visibly Jewish online. You are only here because you found me on a Jew-Hate List.

But go ahead and tell me I've no idea what antisemitism is, or what being visibly Jewish is like.

Sixth: very bold of you to assume I don't have any ties to Israel! Are you sure about that? Are you really sure? It's not something I have ever discussed on my blog, and it's interesting that you would assume this means the answer is "no", when it could just as easily be "I don't discuss that detail of my personal life online with total strangers who are also antisemites and disgraces to their hate movements".

Guess which one is the correct answer! Go on, guess!

Seventh, I don't actually care about what you think about my conversion, even if you are Jewish (you aren't--this is a hypothetical). Conversion isn't a popularity contest. There are a ton of people who don't accept my conversion because I'm going to be Masorti. There are a ton of other people who will assume I don't think they're Jewish because they're not Masorti.

And I just... don't really care about the argument, overall. There are several Jewish opinions which matter to me. The man who's guiding my conversion, the Rabbi teaching my conversion class, and the beit din who will interview me. That's actually pretty much it! If other Jews don't think I'm Jewish, they're entitled to their opinion and they don't have to spend time with me or invite me to their services. They're justified in controlling who accesses their sacred spaces. It'd be nice if they weren't jerks about it, but you can't always get what you want.

Just to be totally, abundantly clear, then: even if you were Jewish, you'd still be wrong to tell me that I'm not and that my opinion is meaningless. It's just useful to point out that you aren't Jewish, about which I have one more point to make!

And last (don't worry, I know you stopped reading long ago, but I like to be thorough), I do not know why you're asking me to refute, or support, an ideology for a nation in which I do not live. I don't have an opinion on Kahanism more complex than "I don't like what I've heard about it". If you'd asked me my opinion on the Vox/PP alliance in Spain, I could write for days! Or if you asked me about how horseshoe theory is validated by the alliance between red fash, green fash, and Republicans in the US--I can and have written about that, too!

I don't write about Israeli politics in depth for the same reason I don't write about the political situation in Ukraine, or Canada, or Myanmar, or Qatar, or Ghana, or Greenland, or any of the other places I don't live. It seems silly for me to pontificate on political situations I don't understand when, most often, all I can offer is what I already said: "sounds bad, if true".

Here, let me liberate you from your self-constructed prison: you don't have to have a strong and informed opinion on every single thing occurring on the face of the Earth. It's okay for you to not know stuff. You do not have to form a hard opinion instantaneously because a stranger on the Internet demanded it. You can, and should, plead ignorance and move on with your life. You will be a far happier person if you are not ruled by obsessive anxiety regarding things you don't know. STOP MAKING HOT TAKES.

But, of course, I kid. I know, the same as you, why you brought up Kahanism. It's because you're the same anon who's going around harassing Jews by pretending to be Jewish, and you finally learned how to spell "Kahanism" correctly, and you're very, very proud of yourself and wanted to show off.

I am glad you found out it's not spelled Khanism!

This is the thing, brother. You are lying through your teeth. You are trying so hard to hurt Jews, and you're convinced this tactic will work. You want to create infighting among all the zionazi scum you despise. You and folks like you pretended to be Jews who were outraged over a bar mitzvah being performed in a television program, and you pretend to be Jews who are salty about the existence of converts. But I've gotta tell you, as a ger, I can still see right through you. It's all pretense.

You are as Jewish as an Easter ham.

Give up the game, anon. You're not clever enough to play it.

[lockandkeyhyena]

as someone who’s followed ur content for awhile, this entire situation just seems.. kinda stupid? like people would benefit from actual communication instead of just looking away and such.

i say this as a lesbian: i was previously a twitter user, left a little before the “tumblr migration” in fact. and yeah, twitter definitely has “against mspec lesbian” stuff, and joining tumblrbshocked me. seeing a community so supportive of mspec lesbians was confusing, weren’t they “wrong”? lesbiphobic? enbyphobic? etc, etc, etc. i felt awkward saying anything though, so i didn’t reblog or anything, but sometimes i’d read through them. i had realized i.. never took a moment to read about the other side, never looked at their perspective on things, just that they were “bad” and they were “harmful”.

after all this time, i’ll say it. i still don’t exactly *get* mspec gays! they’re so complicated even for me and as a lesbian i can’t understand truly, but there is one thing i’ve processed: why does it matter? where is the harm? sure, if they were forcing labels onto others (and yeah, some where forcing labels onto nonbinary lesbians, but that was SOME.) and being assholes about it, yeah i’d see harm, but if anything.. the rest of the community is the harmful one. we’re policing identities, we’re telling people how they’re allowed to feel comfortable.

nonbinary people don’t like being put in a box: they’re not a neat third gender (fourth gender? does intersex count?) they’re a spectrum of people all with relations to gender, to themselves. they can be masculine, feminine, even gnc. it doesn’t matter to other people, nobody else can control their relationship to gender, because it’s special to them.

people who identify with multiple genders or who swap between genders don’t like being put in a box: they could be “non-men” or “non-women”, but they could be both, they could be neither—anything! they shouldn’t have to or need to make a choice to what they are, that’s the entire point of their identity.

fuck, the entire point of the lgbt community is that we don’t like being put in a box!! we didn’t want to be straight or cis or whatever, we wanted to be us!!! so why should we box mspec gays??

i guess this is an apology to mspec gays for my behavior in the past, for echoing the voices of those policing their identity. they didn’t deserve that, i should have known better and hopefully i know better now.

hey, this is incredibly lovely of you anon! thanks for this ask

[jodilin65]

Not feeling good at all right now. I'm pissed, tired, and stressed out. I'm pissed at Google for removing the editing tool without even telling people and making us waste hours digging through code thinking something was broken, only to find out they yanked the damn feature. My guess? They're slowly trying to phase out Blogger and drive people off by taking away handy tools. Editing old posts is now a total pain in the ass unless I want to scroll through forever or try a keyword search, which doesn’t always work.

For now, LJ and PB will get updated in batches, but Tumblr is where I’ll be regularly. The only things that annoy me about Tumblr are: 1) I can’t allow comments from non-mutuals because there’s always some asshole begging for money, and 2) my visitor tracking never works right, no matter where I paste the code. So, I have no idea who’s reading unless they follow me and I follow them back and they tell me, not that it really matters. What matters is journaling. That’s my priority. Everything else is just extra.

Just when I started to feel hopeful that I might not have chronic fatigue, I get slammed with fatigue again. Yesterday I was tired because I stayed up way too long, but I’m still exhausted now. Yes, I took the mask off a few hours before getting up, but still—I shouldn’t feel this tired. 

And now the power outages are happening more often. Yesterday it was out for an hour, and then it flickered off and on around 2:00 AM. No storms were happening at either time, so who knows? There are so many downsides to living here, but with no money or energy to move, I guess this is it. Our "forever home."

This June has been stormier than I’ve ever seen. It's daily now—sometimes multiple times a day—and it’s stressing me the hell out because I keep worrying that it’s going to wake me up and leave me even more exhausted before my Monday appointment. A storm’s rolling in again right now. Tom got woken up last night, but he was fine because he doesn’t have such fatigue. 

Even though I’ve basically given up hope of ever getting my energy back in any lasting way, I do hope my appointment lifts some of this stress off me. 

When the power was out, I used the EMF reader on Jade again and got nothing. Now I’m starting to doubt she’s haunted after all. Still doesn't explain why there was no EMF when I moved her and then tested the spot she was in earlier, but once again, I’m doubting the afterlife or reincarnation. Multiple universes…maybe. This means I might not bother getting a supposedly haunted little blonde doll from Etsy like I was planning. I’ll do another test on Jade in her old spot and decide after that.

[bsdrarepairfest]

FAQ 🤎

Q: What is considered a rarepair?

A: it is purely up to you to decide. that being said, we highly encourage ships outside of the most popular ones -> going by AO3 statistics, those are skk, sskk, and ranpoe. let's give a chance to the many other wonderful pairings in bsd :) that being said, we cannot control you. do what you want!

Q: Do I have to do every day?

A: of course not! you may do as many days as you are comfortable with

Q: Are late submissions accepted?

A: submissions will still be accepted 2 weeks after the due date. late days are also okay (e.g. posting a work for day 2 on day 5. no worries!)

Q: Can I use multiple prompts?

A: absolutely! one, two, all, it doesn't matter. go wild

Q: Why wasn't my work reblogged?

A: if it's been more than two days and there was no rb, shoot us a dm, we might have missed it!

Q: Are collabs/group works allowed?

A: definitely! the more the merrier :)

Q: Are poly ships/platonic ships accepted?

A: yes!

Q: What does ‘no aging up characters for sexual acts’ mean? (for characters shown at multiple ages in canon, like dazai or ranpo)

A: for ease of understanding, take it that for NSFW works, characters involved must be 18+ already in canon. there shouldn’t be, for example, 15!dazai in an NSFW work because underage sex is still disallowed. but it is not considered aging him up for 18/22!dazai, as the oldest he’s shown in canon is 22. it’s also fine to depict him at lets say 30, for he is already of age. he just cannot be depicted as <18 in the creation

this pretty much just applies for NSFW creations. e.g. for SFW creations, it’s fine to do like 18!kenji in a college AU

Q: Can I post my creations on other platforms (e.g. tiktok)?

A: definitely! you may link it to your tumblr/twt post too

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

Do you use any discredited communication method such as Facilitated Communication??

(RPM is not “better than FC.” It is FC rebranded. The individual holding the letterboard still holds the letterboard and moves it, whether subconsciously due to ideomotor effect or on purpose. Victims are not allowed to resist verbally and are not encouraged to develop the verbal speech they already have. It’s taken as “meaningless unreliable speech” and ignored. Autism is NOT primarily a motor control disorder, which is one of the biggest lies of FC, and “impulsive speech” has NOT been backed by tje scientific autism literature. It is invented by “FC users” and their facilitators as a post hog rationalization of why verbal FCed people can say things that contradict their FCed or RPMed words. )

It is also very suspicious how most notorious FC users and those paraded as “success stories”, have since “disappeared” from the public eye entirely. https://www.facilitatedcommunication.org/blog/mysterious-disappearances-in-the-world-of-fc-what-does-it-take-to-sustain-the-illusion I suspect this will also be the case with new “tumblr generation” and more to come with the new variant, S2C. The author of this piece is a former facilitator who was involved in the infamous Betsy Wheatson case, in which she made her victim falsely allege abuse against a parent and tore her family apart. We only know the fate of two in the article, Tito M. and Amy Sequenzia. The former his mother still parades around, the latter she’s living in a facility after her facilitator (father) abused her. Organizations like ASAN had those like Amy on their board when her words are not her own so she could not have been called a “self advocate.” We shouldn’t even know these profoundly autistic people, if it wasn’t that their facilitators made it their mission to advertise them as FC role models and marketing purposes. They were used, now nowhere to be seen.

Others who are paraded as “success stories” within FC have a trajectory that I’m beginning to suspect may be the case with you. Amanda Baggs, for example, claimed to use FC, but was really a malingering schizophrenic who went to early college program perfectly typical with no issues. She may have had a late regression as many on Tumblr like “five thousand loaves of bread” claim to have. She claimed to have catatonia which many on this platform claim as well. Either way that didn’t matter in the end, because she was still subject to the practice of FC and she too mysteriously disappeared as of 2020 alleging medical abuse and no one knows where she is to this day. She is still cited as a “foundational neurodiversity advocate” and so is Amy S. , Carly F, Naomi H and Sharisa K. So is Donna Williams, a multiple personality case with an autistic “alter” who later claimed to be a severely autistic person. All these people are either abused and exploited or greatly exaggerated their disabilities. I suspect this may be the case with you and those like you.

If we are supposed to feel bad about not presuming competence of these folks, why are we supposed to feel good about Amy dumped and mistreated, about Carly (who notoriously went missing after a molestation accusation?) And why are we supposed to listen to these Tumblr users who are consigned to similar fates? Why should we listen?

post this for archive

.

now that block them so talk little (overwhelm w stuff so short)

1. interesting i not get the “are you really nonverbal” bc think this person inherent not believe me & regress (judge by mention my url & “suspect this may be case for you/those like you”)

2. not do good job proof read before copy paste send because “as many on tumblr like (my url) claim have” when send ask to me

[anonforlackofabettername]

A, B, G for any fandom for the asks?

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

I’ve been reading a lot of Tim/Kon lately since I’ve been in a batfam mood and Tim is my blorbo. Core 4 poly is also up there is good shit whether it’s platonic, queerplatonic, romantic, or sexual. It’s not right now but my other batfam ships are Tim+Cass siblings and Tim/Jason romo.

I just started Dunmeshi and yeah I can see why Farcille is good. This too is yuri.

Uhhh *does a quick backscroll through tumblr and my ao3 history* Luke+Leia is just *squeezes* so shaped. There’s a reason they’re both blorbos. Murderbot and Art are in no way romantic and I’m not sure I’d classify them as queerplatonic but god those two are just… look they’re very important to each other and are each others most important relationship but they’re both non-human sentients so it’s hits different in a very non-romo way.

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

I mean unless the show or story itself is pitching a ship I tend to need to be convinced. I’m very aroace-spectrum where unless the show is shoving the blorbos together (hello miraculous ladybug love square my beloved) I usually need fandom to hold my hand and explain why the blorbos go together. I think Ez may have sold me on Tristan/Teddy or at least taken it from “I think they’re neat” to “yes yes yes.” A lot of my strongly held shipping beliefs can trace back to someone in fandom going “I care a lot” and me going “hell yeah I’ll join you on this hill.” So yeah. I’m pretty easy to convince but I don’t always get there on my own just from canon itself.

G - Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it?

The answer is yeah of course I do, I love shipping. Live and let ship all the way. The problem is that while I believe in one ship above all others I also believe in both polyamory and the inherent joy of the fandom bicycle. So while I may fully believe in Stucky — for example — as soulmates, Steve is bicycle-blorbo shaped and thus I will ship him with anyone a fic or author makes a compelling argument for. Which undermines the whole “one true” part of OTP. Love to hold multiple conflicting OTPs in my heart and know them to all be true. Love even having OT3s.

As for my oldest? 🤔 I’ve been talking a bunch with the gc about Ranma 1/2 and how my gateway into fandom early on was Ranma+Sailor Moon. I’m pretty ship and let ship with SM but I do genuinely like and enjoy Usagi and Mamoru together even though I’m from a fandom tradition that paired Usagi with what seems like everyone else. I guess the early ship that I was like no these two belong together in a romo way and shouldn’t be separated or shipped with other people was Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase. I’ll vibe with most Harry Potter ships except Drarry but I read HP and PJO at around the same time and was like no these two demigods are meant to be together, do not interfere.

Alphabet Fandom Asks

[aajjks]

“nobody should assume the member’s sexuality” but the thing is, everybody assumes their straight and will fight tooth and nail to the people who question that. i’m not coming in here to say all members are straight or all members are gay but i am coming on here to say some members just might not all be straight. now what i’m about to say, i already know everyone is going to have a negative reaction to but still, it’s just an example. shipping along the members. everybody is so quick to say they hate anybody who suggests two members of bts are dating or have done something sexual with each other but if you really don’t want to assume their sexualities, why is it such a bad thing people point out some of the queer things they’ve done? there are two members that have done some questionable things that everyone will say “they’re brothers” or “friends so that all the time” but let’s face a fact. they are not blood brothers. if they wanted to be together, they damn wee have every right to be. regardless of anyone’s opinion. they could be just friends, but i definitely do believe they have done something sexual with each other before. because of some of the proof we literally seen from the footage bighit has released. as a queer person myself, there are things i do with people i have a sexual relationship with that i wouldn’t do with my regular close best friends. i am not saying that because i “know” the two members i am talking about are in fact dating but i am saying that if they are, not only would i support them but i wouldn’t really be surprised. i would support them even if they were not dating each other but other men as well as as women. we do not know these men personally. we just know what little things they allow us to know. (not all of the members have came out and said they hated shipping. fan service, yeah but not the shipping. if there is a video or actual proof of each member agreeing or saying please provide a link and prove me wrong! i am open to being proven wrong.) even if they wanted to come out and tell everybody, they’re not like us, they don’t get that privilege. they are not only in the biggest and in the world, and coming out would effect multiple peoples career, but they live in korea. a place that has strong negative feelings about queer people. us on tumblr who write and read theses stories, we use these for our own little fantasies about these men that although we are attracted to, we know we’ll never get to be with them. most stories on here are male x female stories because it allows us to fulfill our little imagination. nothing is wrong with using these men we find attractive as our protagonist but there’s a problem with people believing our stories truly reflect on how the members themselves are. take jungkook for example. 8/10 stories on here, he’s a asshole, fuckboy, red flag. the real jungkook is literally a sweetheart who cried because army made a song for bts. he’s respectful, kind. people believe in their imagination more than they are willing to see the facts. i know religion plays a big part in everyone believing that namjoon, hobi, jin, jungkook, jimin, taehyung, yoongi are all straight and could never be with in a romantic relationship with a man but the truth is, they could be. assuming their gay shouldn’t be such a horrible thing when assuming they’re all straight is such a huge issue. these men could be queer and the only problem is, everybody will deny it until their last breath. with the shipping is kinda goes hand in hand with theses stories. “no you can’t think they could be dating each other! let’s go read about about the members eating pussy instead” that’s kinda homophonic.

the last thing i want to say is i’m not trying to come off as i’m attacking anyone specifically! i am just so tired of seeing so many people say that we should never assume their sexuality unless it’s because they’re straight. majority of fans will die on that hill. i never understood why the shipping was so hated on when the memberxyn was so welcomed. it’s all just in our little imagination. when you believe it has be to be this way or no way, that’s the problem. no, i am not a shopper myself, i was just using that as an example. i will support any member when and if they ever come out. with that being with their sexuality or relationships. with a man or with a women.

thank you for your thoughts, I personally have no opinion on the lgbtq+ community because I’m not part of it but I do hate shipping.

[imagineimaginethat]

About the geography mc, i wanted Ikémen Sengoku. I couldn’t find your rules, so can i just request all? But if, just three, Nobunaga, Shingen and Masamune. Thanks!

Nobunaga

He's going to use this knowledge to benefit him for sure

He understands some languages have changed or their dialects might be different so he'll bring MC with him whenever he trades so MC can take notes

When it comes to geography, he uses MC to correct his maps, especially if he has conflicting ones, however it can be difficult since some landmarks have changed a lot over the years.

Nobunaga appreciates MC's geography and language knowledge overall and will try to use it in order to have an excuse to have MC in his presence even more often.

Hideyoshi

Hideyoshi is super suspicious of an MC who knows a lot of languages and knows a lot about geography.

In his mind he thinks no one but an enemy spy or maybe someone who works in trade would need such knowledge

When he finally realizes for MC it's just a personal passion/something that interests them, he'll begin to warm up to MC

He'll buy maps and scrolls in various languages as gifts

He'd also like to learn a bit of some European languages/customs to understand the western traders they deal with better

If MC teaches him insults and one of them insults Nobunaga, not happy doesn't even begin to describe Hideyoshi

Overall, he'd start off as suspicious but in the end be appreciative

Mitsuhide

Mitsuhide has a bit of suspicion when he realizes just how much MC knows, he'd hide it a lot better than Hideyoshi would

He'd probably test MC's knowledge on things and find some things incorrect because of changes from the past to the present, but since he wouldn't know that, he'd just assume MC was self taught or something

Mitsuhide would ultimately come to the conclusion that MC just knows stuff out of interest not because they're a spy or anything

He'd tease MC by saying sneaky/flirtatious things in different languages to shock them and a get a funny reaction.

Mitsunari

This sweet angel doesn't hold any suspicion against MC for knowing stuff about languages and geography. He just thinks MC is super smart

He does see that MC’s nowledge of maps and landscapes can be helpful in assisting with strategies, especially those that require clandestine travel

When it comes to language he'd have a ton of reading recommendations for MC and would enjoy studying together even though once he starts he kinda forgets MC is there

Overall Mitaunari would just be a 10/10 awesome study buddy

Shingen

Surely you must be the goddess of wisodkm and beauty?

Shingen loves how passionate MC was he would buy every map and spare no expense on any books having to do with language

Shingen would probably ask MC to teach him a a new language, he’d be particularly interested in the ‘Romantic languages’

Would allow MC to chart courses to make sure his men are taking the best route to battle.

A lil suspicious initially, did he accidentally kidnap a spy? But takes Sauske’s word for it when he says MC just has an odd hobby/interest

Masamune

Masamune thinks MC’s knowledge of geography is awesome, lil confused about why MC didn’t use that to get away when he had to go get them for Nobunaga

Definitely more interested in foreign cuisine over anything else

He does like to listen to MC speak in different languages and watch MC write, especially if it is in calligraphy

He would take MC to see any landmarks MC wanted to see

Not really suspicious because that’s just the way Masa rolls

Ieyasu

“Then why do you suck at running away?”

Ieyasu is overall pleased that MC has so much knowledge about geography, doesn’t really see how helpful the languages can be

He wouldn’t tell MC he was pleased though, more like an, “at least you know something” sort of backhanded compliment

Ieyasu would make MC study maps of areas battles were taking place so MC would have a refreshed image in mind of safe ways to get back to town alone if something goes wrong

Is low key scared to let Nobunaga know how good MC is with maps because he doesn’t want Nobu to start demanding MC’s help and have a spy think MC is worth kidnapping

[ladyyomiart]

Just a (self-confessed) mentally-ill writer named Autumn469469 (plus her alts Ygpgsgl and Saya / Widemushroom) who's having a huge meltdown because I disabled guest comments in my fic after she post-block harassed me multiple times through them:

I think she has beef with me because I supported another writer whose fic Autumn tried to steal months ago. 🤨 I deleted my replies from the commment section after Autumn herself sent hate to my Tumblr inbox, but I still have a transcript of it:

ladyyomiart: Wtf I'm so sorry you had to go through this. 🤦🏻‍♀️ No one deserves to get caught up in drama when they're just trying to enjoy fandom (it was super rude of her to call you a bully/hater just for trying to de-escalate the fight 🤨). The good thing about this is that when I found out about the issue in the Hakuouki tag I noticed that I hadn't given kudos to your fics yet (I usually download them to read offline 😆) so I remedied it right away, lol. I love the Souji/Haruhi ship ("The Mirror" rocks 🔥) and also Saichi so your series is right up my alley, hehe. 💖 I hope people will stop trying to wrap you up in drama and that you won't have any more bad experiences in the Hakuouki fandom, as we all appreciate your translations and your writing! ✌️💕

salty-hakuouki: I think Saya was a little too focused on someone who didn’t like her fic, and didn’t think that she shouldn’t escalate with a 14 years old. I am not blaming Says, we all have emotions and sometimes can get heated on the moment, and I am cool with her, no resentment or anything. I think she was blindsighted with the whole issue and that’s why she didn’t appreciate that I wasn’t on her side. I was trying to protect both parties with minimal damages, unfortunately fandom drama, as I learn through the years, can get very passionate. I hope with time, both parties will understand my position.

ladyyomiart: I hope she comes to her senses. Although I honestly doubt it since I had to drop by her profile to block her and noticed that she made multiple posts where she threatened to report you to the police for "falsely accusing her of plagiarism and bullying". 😬 Wtf, man… you can't reason with someone who goes to such extremes over such a silly thing like fanfic. I'm sure the police won't pay attention to her nonsense, so don't worry. If you ever need anything, my inbox is always open! 💖

Autumn started sending anon hate to my fic after I blocked her here so I disabled guest comments, and huh… that was when she decided to start posting those unhinged fic-rants in the Hakuouki tag. 🙃 (She even stated that she's abusing the anonymous account system to force everyone who muted/blocked her to read her posts in the Hakuouki tag).

☝Autumn: "This work is anonymous not out of fear, but as an act of aesthetic cruelty. Those who muted me will read this in full. And as long as they search for Kazama Chikage’s name—they will find me. They’ll remember every word, but never be certain it was mine. That uncertainty? That’s the blade."

I didn't want to give Autumn any attention since I've refused to allow her to involve me in her silly drama for months now, but enough is enough. Her stalking behavior is seriously creeping me out.

For example, days ago I replied to this positive Tumblr post about Chizuru's braveness by saying: "Yup! She's an edo woman after all!" and I was told that Autumn wrote a whole AO3 essay mocking me and calling me a "submissive supporter of the patriarchy" just because I like Chizuru. (As you can see in the following screenshot, Autumn is shameless enough to link to my blog to let everyone know which Chizuru fan she's post-blocking bullying).

What's wrong with liking Hakuouki's main female character?! 😅 I'm so tired of being targeted by her. I only wrote a comment of support to Salty when Autumn plagiarized her fic but it seems I became her number 1 enemy since then.

I feel both creeped out and uncomfortable at how she chose to escalate the abuse by posting yet another fic (can that even be called a fic?) where she tries to force me to fight with her. It's worth mentioning that in her newest post she stated that part of her resentment towards me stems from me being an anti-AI artist/writer, since Autumn believes the world would be a better place if we creators were replaced by AI... which is honestly scary.

I wish she'd understand that I blocked her because I want nothing to do with her, but she refuses to leave me alone. 😟 She has even been copying all the comments that my readers leave on my fic into a PDF to harass me (which is pretty silly since they're public 'cause there's nothing there that I'm trying to hide?).

Hakuouki has been one of my favorite autistic special interests since 2013 and I just want to peacefully play with its characters in my fic, but she won't stop hounding me ever since I blocked her and disabled guest comments to prevent her from sending me hate. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Even though I've repeated over and over again that I refuse to engage in stupid internet fights, Autumn keeps on saying "If you really care about your own interests defend yourself instead of pretending not to see it" in every "fic" that she posts; which proves that she's trying to force me to participate for who knows what reason.

I don't want anyone to harass her back because she claimed she suffers from mental illness and I suppose her endless pursuit of conflict is rooted in that, but I wish she'd show the same consideration to my autism and stop trying to constantly wrap me up in her silly drama. 😥 I know she's mentally ill and became fixated on me after she was done bothering Salty, but I only want to post my fic and art in peace. Btw, I already reported her to AO3:

Thanks a lot for asking about this Custarii, I'm glad you're back. 💖

right so like, I lost my original account (as custarii, as some may know of it) due to some poor decision choices in the internet (long story that ended up in hacking and whatnot, seriously be careful of stuff you download online, and that served as a reminder to not do it again), and SO--

um, after a break due to uni being merciless, going back to the fandom-- WHATS GOING ON AT HAKUOKI'S AO3??? 😭

I also run-by as @/baronpistachio on ao3, read some interesting works I'd taken in as an interesting character essay/digest, to only find out that there's actually stuff going on (srlsy I'm too sleep deprived and caffeine-addled to have noticed it)

[haikyuupaladin]

Please copy and paste this week’s ask and send it in to @wip if you see this, because they can’t ignore us all.

Week 12 of posting my asks to @wip , week 17 of no response from wip when it comes to my asks on photosensitivity issues, week 13 of no response from @support , week 7 since my second ticket got closed without any attempt at a response and week 6 since they refused to blaze one of these posts, here’s this week’s ask:

“Can we get accessibility features for photosensitive people? This is especially topical now with the amount of Spiderverse content making Tumblr unusable for photosensitive users at the moment.

A community label for flashing lights would be incredibly useful as right now if something is improperly tagged we have to ask each individual user to tag it, and we often have to do this for multiple posts by the same person as they forget.

Another useful feature would be to allow us to disable autoplay on desktop, as while I know it has already been said that a lot of browsers let you change it browser-wide, there are many reasons that that is not a good option for everyone, including not always having control over your own browser settings.

There also needs to be a better option for reporting ads for containing flashing lights, and the ads should be hidden while they’re being reviewed as right now the options are to file them under a category where the person reviewing it might just dismiss it because they don’t understand why it’s being reported, or forcing users who are sensitive to flashing lights to stay on the screen to try to get a screenshot if they want to report an ad that is harming them, and they still might see the same harmful ad 10 times in a row after reporting it.

Suggesting users pay for ad free is not an acceptable answer to this because photosensitive users shouldn’t have to pay to not put themselves at risk for a seizure, migraine, or other negative effect.

I could make more suggestions for features that should be added but these are some of the more pressing ones at the moment. “

[st4rs-l1ghts]

insult to injury- a. skywalker

-anakin skywalker x jedi!gn!reader

-heavy extreme heart wrenching angst. yay!

-gif credits to owner!!

-please do not post my work anywhere apart from tumblr without my permission!! reblogs are completely fine though!!

he counted your every flinch. every time the light from the billboard switched to neon yellow your eyebrow would twitch, sensing the change in atmosphere.

17.

wind blew in from the slightly cracked open window causing you to shuffle and stir closer to him, your body detecting his heat as a metal detector would detect a metal chain buried deep in sand.

18.

he didn’t sleep. never, in order to prevent nightmares that plagued his mind every time he slept. he wouldn’t have minded staying up, he wouldn’t have as much guilt as he did right now at the chance you’d wake up and see him like this. disheveled, sweaty, sniffly, weak; everything a jedi shouldn’t be.

19

and so to stop falling back into a space of nightmares, he focused on the one thing that he cherished more than anything. you. making it even more of an imperative that he stay as still as possible as to not disturb you.

20-

“i can feel you watching me, ani.”

kriff.

“it’s nothing, go back to sleep.” he hated being so distant, but he knew that if he allowed even one wave in his speech to differ, you’d know that he was so weak that he still hadn’t overcome the ghosts of his past and that they still haunted his every night.

you shifted away from him, sitting up straight and looking deep in his eyes, ignoring the demands of your mind for sleep. “ani, what wrong?”

“nothing.” he grabbed your hand and forged a smile.

“anakin.”

“it’s nothing.” he sounded more like he was trying to prove it to himself rather than you.

you could have elected to ignore it, like you had so many nights before this one, but you couldn’t. every night he’d wake up with a shake, grab a glass of water and walk straight back to your side, where he’d lay for the next few hours as he watched your ‘sleeping’ form.

“ani.” you sighed, a heavy, weighted, thick sigh.

he looked at you with glassy eyes as he laid face up to the ceiling from his silk pillow.

your heart shattered. what had he been keeping from you that made him cry? why couldn’t he tell you?

you were with him through it all. from shmi dying, from being lured to the dark side and then brought back again. all of it. but he couldn’t tell you why he couldn’t sleep?

“anakin, please.” your voice cracked as you recalled it all.

“it’s nothing, please let’s go back to slee-“ he was cut off.

“don’t tell me it’s nothing anakin.” your voice held strength but it’s was laid over a sea of worry. and he knew this. “i feel you, every night i feel you. i feel your body jolt when you wake, i feel your hands brush over your hair and i feel your lip quiver. you cry every night and i feel it.”

the tears pooling in his eyes fell down the sides of his face, imitating what yours had done as soon as he first spoke, soaking the already damp with sweat sheets.

you grabbed his hand and placed it atop your heart.

“don’t tell me it’s nothing when i feel everything.” you told him.

anakin felt your heart shatter once more under his rough, scarred hands.

“i..” his mouth opened and closed multiple times before he sighed.

as your eyes lit up the room with hope he’d finally pour his mind out to you, they dimmed once again as he retracted his hand and pulled it to his chest, taking the sheets with him too as he turned onto his side, facing away from you.

anything that was left of your heart from the previous shatterings had officially been crushed.

you gave him one last look of hope. hope that he’d turn back to you and tell you. tell you that he was hurt, that he needed you, that he was sorry for not telling you. that he loved you.

‘i love you.’

it was something that hadn’t left his lips in a while.

now you knew why.

reality shook you with force as you rose from your place on the bed and walked out of the room, allowing yourself to fall back into the curved couch in the middle of your living area, grander than that of the jedi quarters but humbler than that of something a senator would have in her home.

you would give him his time. you would wait for his heart to ease. but you wouldn’t go back in there until he had pieced your broken heart back together again.

[antis-solve-nothing]

Part Of Being An Adult Is Curating Your Experiences

And I actually don’t just mean with tumblr content and with fiction (fan and otherwise). I mean with life in general. 

If you have sensory issues that make it hard for you to stay calm when there’s lots of noise and lights and people, you should probably stay away from concerts and nightclubs and bowling alleys. Not go there and expect everything to be altered to keep you “safe” or expect your party to devote their entire evening to comforting you after you have a meltdown (real example I have encountered IRL). 

If you don’t like being around alcohol or drunk people because it triggers you, you probably shouldn’t go to bars or to parties where there’s gonna be a lot of drinking. Not show up and start demanding people dump out the booze and stay sober because you’re getting upset, or asking your friends to leave with you when they came here fully prepared to drink. 

If you’re vegan and become violently ill and morally repulsed by people eating meat, you really really really shouldn’t show up to a barbeque or a cookout where meat is “allowed”. If you think TTRPGs are stupid and that getting emotionally invested is cringey, don’t ask to join a group and make a character (real example I have encountered IRL multiple times). If you don’t believe in ghosts or aliens and think anyone who DOES is a moron who needs to be “shown the light”, you don’t belong at paranormal conventions or séance parties (real example I have encountered IRL, also multiple times). 

Like, it’s honestly that simple??? Don’t deliberately enter spaces that you will not have fun or be comfortable in and then get angry and defensive and sulky over that space not being catered to you. 

I literally do not understand why I am seeing this pattern of behavior from people in their mid to late twenties and BEYOND. Is it learned helplessness??? Is it entitlement and the byproduct of being incredibly sheltered??? Is it a misguided belief that their personal preferences are the “morally correct” ones and divergent tastes should be punished out of existence??? 

[evesaintyves]

I really disagree with the post about Teddy. You really think he’d be mad at his parents for not staying at home while all their friends and fellow Order members go and give their lives for the future of their world? Especially when he grows up around Harry and the rest. Children fought and died but they shouldn’t have because they had him? I actually hate the whole Lupin asking Tonks to stay at home. They met as part of the Order, and she was an auror. Becoming a mother doesn’t change that.

hi anon! i'm sorry you felt you had to send this anonymously, because i'd be happy to have this conversation with you in a way that isn't quite so one-sided.

first, let me make something clear: i'm fine with whatever your take on Teddy Lupin's psychology is. i am 100% not interested in pinning down some kind of absolute truth about Teddy, Tonks, Lupin, or any other character. i think that's a limiting approach to writing about people. human behavior is a complex, multifactorial, emergent process that's sometimes difficult to predict or explain. this is one reason why i rarely post or talk about "headcanons" - i'm open to the idea of multiple, even contradictory, interpretations that are equally valid, equally compatible with the information available in canon.

my interest in is storytelling. i want to read and write stories about what it's like to be a person. all these characters - especially remadora and teddy, about whom there is limited and sometimes unreliable information in canon - are full of possibilities and opportunities for extrapolating what we do know about them into a story about what being human was like for them.

being angry with your parents for doing things they thought were entirely justifiable at the time is, for many people, an aspect of the human condition.

but let's talk specifics. the truth is that we don't know, canonically, how teddy lupin feels about being orphaned. to me, that means it's fair game for all kinds of interpretations. now, i did not write the original post (gonna tag @jilylicious to chime in on this if they want since it's their work and i'm sure they have their own ideas) but i'd like to address your points and tell you why i think it's a perfectly valid interpretation of Teddy and his relationship with his parents' memory.

You really think he’d be mad at his parents for not staying at home while all their friends and fellow Order members go and give their lives for the future of their world?

sure, why not? Teddy isn't a Remadora fan on tumblr, he isn't necessarily familiar with and sympathetic to his parents' story in the way we are. he's a kid who has to come to terms with the fact that his parents left him with his grandma as a tiny baby and went to fight in a battle that killed them. that's fucking unfair to him. he's allowed to feel all kinds of ways about that.

what do we think an abstract concept like "the future of their world" means to teddy? as a young child, probably not much, right? the capacity to even understand something like that - as a vague abstraction mostly concerning the well-being of a bunch of other people - probably wouldn't even develop in teddy until at least around the time he went to hogwarts (and i am not about to make this shit even longer by citing child development theories, but you're welcome to look it up). meanwhile, his whole childhood, he's dealing with the consequences of his parents' choice, forming an identity that includes "my parents left me with my grandmother one night so they could fight in a war and never came back," and probably developing all kind of feelings about that, right? abandonment, whatever the circumstances and mechanics behind it, is hard on kids and has knock-on effects that can be lifelong: issues with trust and attachment to other people, feelings of worthlessness, fear of intimacy and commitment. those things can be forged in early childhood and it's not as simple as being talked out of them with some explanation of why it had to be that way.

is Teddy's life actually even better than if his parents hadn't gone off to die? maybe. Teddy might or might not feel that it is. we don't really have any evidence that Lupin and Tonks's participation in the battle had much of an effect on the outcome. one or both of them might have stayed home and the battle might have been won anyway and he'd be chilling with them right now. the idea of his life if the battle had been lost is another abstraction based on political and social developments that mostly happened before he was born. understandable for young Teddy, and even adult Teddy, not to really grasp all the could-have-beens there. even with the war won, Teddy may have grown up experiencing the social stigma of being the child of a famous werewolf who's not even around to help him through it. reasonable and okay to be angry about that, and understandable to still resent your parents for putting you in that situation even if you agree that it had to be that way.

i would argue that, however childlike, irrational, or self-absorbed Teddy's early feelings about his own trauma are, they're probably going to inform his ideas about his parents for a long time. like, have you come to a rational, all-perspectives understanding of all the ideas you developed in childhood? about your earliest sense that life was unfair? i don't think everyone does, at least not without a lot of difficult work. maybe he comes to a fuller understanding later in life. maybe he decides that he agrees that it had to happen but he is still plagued by this anger and hurt that won't be argued with. i think this is a pretty relatable idea. things can be true but not feel true. things can make sense but you're still sad and mad about them.

Especially when he grows up around Harry and the rest.

he does grow up around Harry! and Harry lost his parents too, so maybe he's in a unique position to counsel teddy about that - but Harry's situation is markedly different from Teddy's, isn't it?

Harry's parents went into hiding as a family to protect him. they didn't leave him with a relative in a safe house and carry on with their Order duties. James didn't send Lily into hiding with Harry while he kept fighting. the fact that they stood their ground together and died there to protect him is central not just to Harry's story but to the entire HP universe.

how might Teddy feel about the differences between their two stories? maybe fine. maybe it wouldn't even occur to him. maybe he'd feel cheated and abandoned by his parents who left him and went off to fight instead - yes, Teddy was one reason they felt they had to fight, but might Teddy not see it as them going to lay their lives down for Harry and for a cause? imagine how that might inform the way he feels about Harry. Teddy isn't required, especially as a kid, to think about this in a way that we feel is rational or sympathetic to his parents.

even if Harry does his best to present the story to Teddy in a way that's sympathetic to Teddy and his parents, Harry probably isn't the only source from which Teddy is going to hear this stuff. it's gonna be in history books, periodicals, fictionalized retellings, everyone's personal Where Were You On May 2nd story - and those accounts are likely to frame what happened as a bunch of people dying for Harry Potter and the fate of the wizarding world. not Teddy being able to live a happier life. that might be difficult for a kid to grapple with, no?

finally, Harry didn't raise Teddy. Andromeda Tonks did. how do you imagine SHE feels about what Teddy's parents did? what Lupin did? she might very well have seen leaving to fight in the battle as another attempt by Lupin to go redeem himself with a hero's death instead of facing his responsibility for Tonks and Teddy (and, honestly, i think that's a possibility worth exploring in fiction about Lupin and his motivations). how might that have filtered down to Teddy and his understanding of his parents? Andromeda is grieving while she raises her orphaned grandbaby, and i bet she has her own anger and resentment and despair to deal with there - that's understandable whether you agree with her conclusions or not. it's not hard to imagine Teddy overhearing some bitter asides from Andromeda, or picking up on the tension when she answers his questions about his parents.

Children fought and died but they shouldn’t have because they had him?

i mean, you're not going to catch me arguing that children should have died instead of Lupin and Tonks. i have mixed feelings about the choice they made that could be its own whole long post, but they're irrelevant here.

Teddy doesn't have to feel that way to be mad that his parents left him to go die. he also doesn't really have to give a shit about those long-dead children - another possibly hard-to-understand abstraction. he doesn't even have to think his parents should have stayed in order to be justifiably angry that they left! even if Teddy agrees they had no choice he can still be fucking pissed off at them! the dissonance between these ideas is probably pretty distressing, in fact!

feelings are like that sometimes. relationships with parents are like that sometimes. grief and feelings of abandonment don't always listen to logical arguments. that's what makes this take interesting and relatable, to me. being a person is fucking messy as shit. i'm sure there's an interesting story to be told about Teddy... being fine with his parents' deaths or whatever, but it's not any more representative of the spectrum of human emotions and trauma responses than the ideas the OP wrote about Teddy.

I actually hate the whole Lupin asking Tonks to stay at home. They met as part of the Order, and she was an auror. Becoming a mother doesn’t change that.

i think that's valid! i totally understand it. i think the way the situation was written reveals a lot about JKR's ideas about gender roles and parenting. i have different ideas about those things, which is at least partially down to the generation i belong to and my status as a queer person and a non-parent. i also really like interpretations of Tonks as a soldier who's as committed to the cause as any of her male contemporaries.

but this is one of those times where, you know, there isn't necessarily a wrong answer. just to play the devils advocate, i could argue that Lupin asking Tonks to stay makes as much sense in-universe as any alternative interpretation: we're we're talking about two people in a pretty heteronormatively-written universe set in the 1990s. Lupin was born in the 60s and might have had the same kind of internalized sexist background noise as, you know, everybody else. Tonks already, canonically, put her career on the line by marrying Lupin and having his baby. they've both been hiding from the fighting for most of her pregnancy. (which, if you want to go down a rabbit hole, might be another reason for Teddy not to understand their choice - it was okay to abstain from the world-bettering while he was a fetus but once he was born they changed their minds?) if one of them is going to stay and be the surviving parent of a three-week-old baby i guess it might as well be the one that's breastfeeding him. we don't get to see a lot of Tonks being an auror and resistance fighter or hear a lot of her feelings about it in canon, especially after Teddy is conceived. whatever we may surmise about her identity as an auror vs her identity as a mother and all the other factors that would play into how that situation went down - it's just surmising, it's subjective interpretation, and there are so many different storytelling paths to follow from it!

maybe you should write an AU where that conversation goes down differently, or a post-war Tonks-in-wizard-heaven monologue about how she felt about it, or just a gritty breakdown of how it might have actually happened in the light of your thoughts about Tonks's character! if you disagree with all of my conjecture here, maybe you should write a deep dive into Teddy's process of grieving and understanding his parents! fascinating! this is what i mean when i say it's not about the truth, it's about storytelling: there is so much more art and wonder and discovery in exploring all these possibilities than in haggling over which possibility is Correct.

Edit: read the original anon's very thoughtful responses here:

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6

[endofthelinegang]

tasm!peter's spidey senses failed him and miss girl (reader) is admitted to hospital (you choose why) and man is STRESSED hes there 24/7 and in SHAMBLESS

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ tasm! peter parker x fem! reader

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ none

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ tumblr dream boy right here, this man mmm

join the gang!

The beeping of hospital machines was not comforting to the ears of Peter Parker, although he was happy they were beeping because that meant you were alive. Especially the heart monitor. He couldn’t help but think of the possibilities that were to come when you did wake up. Would you be angry with him for being able to get so many people out of danger without harming them but not you? Would you come to the conclusion that the two of you shouldn’t be together because of the way he had allowed you to be in harm's way and get injured? Peter wasn’t entirely sure of what had happened last night after you got hurt, after you screamed for him because he saw tunnel vision all he could remember was this:

This wasn’t an unusual circumstance for Peter, a murder who had not meant to kill one person was on a killing spree now because he had been identified. The two of you were out on a date when the news put out a picture of the man and you encouraged Peter to go, knowing that it would not sit right with him if he didn’t. So, Peter chased after the man and had told you to stay put, if only it was that simple. Peter raced to the last known location of the man who was on foot, but once he got there knew that he had run but wasn’t sure in what direction which changed his priorities. That was now getting you to safety, but then he heard a scream from someone else that made the hair on his body stand up straight and he swung in that direction. But when he arrived at that scene it was not because of the crimes at hand, it was because two people were in an evenly matched fight with one another and the other had just gotten hurt. Taking off once more to find you he was all but too late.

“Peter!” You had yelled laying on the sidewalk blood spewing from an unknown location on the body. You were breathing extremely hard and your pupils were dilated to the point that the color in your eyes was gone.

“No, no no SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE!” Peter was in tears sitting next to you on the ground reaching into your coat pockets to try and find your phone in order to call one as well knowing that he could not rely on the people around him.

Peter went to take off his suit in order to find his phone since yours was not on the front of your body but you had put your hand up to stop him shaking your head right before you passed out.

The two of you had been in the emergency room all night and yet no one was telling him anything. Whether you passed out from blood loss or shock of the incident. Whether you had broken any bones or if you had internal damage. All he knew was that you had been stabbed twice, once in the ribs and once in the arm which both got stitched up. You had multiple other small cuts from the knife meaning he must have been swinging it around but those were all patched up. Not knowing scared him and made him angry that no one had been in your room since they stitched and patched you up. As the scene from that night played over and over again in his mind he grabbed your hand and leaned his head down onto your arm as he whispered,

“I love you, and I am so sorry.” Over and over again as tears fell from his eyes, his whole body was shaking but especially his left leg as his shoe rapidly hit the ground over and over again.

He had sat there all night with you, not once sleeping or even relaxing. Peter was tense and almost going through the stages of grief minus acceptance by the hour as you slept in the uncomfortable hospital bed. He didn’t even care about the news even though it was unusual for him because seeing that guy get caught should’ve been a priority for him but it wasn’t. Right now he was Peter Parker in a cold disinfected smelling hospital room with someone he loved dearly laying in bed as he thought the worst.

“Peter?” You had opened your eyes slightly, but the bright lights burned almost enough to give you a headache so you kept them half lidded as you squeezed his hand back.

“I love you and I’m sorry.” His head popped up from the side of your arm and you opened your eyes wider to see him. His voice was shaky, his eyes puffy, dark circles forming under them. Peter released your hand, sure the next words that would come from your mouth would not be pleasant.

“I love you too, don’t be sorry, you’re the reason I’m here and not dead.” You rolled your head over on the pillow to face him rather than straining your eyes.

“No, I am the reason that you’re here in the first place, this is all my fault and I understand if you don’t wanna be here anymore.” Peter looked down at the floor unable to face you as his voice broke.

“You didn’t tell that man to come after me, you didn’t tell him to hurt innocent people. I can’t expect you to carry the weight of this city plus me constantly. That’s impossible so when the two things collide I expect you to do what’s best for everyone, not just me.” You took deep breaths while speaking, the more awake you were the more pain you were in. Regardless you reached your arm out to touch Peter’s face, the tips of your fingers barely brushing his cheek.

“I-I can’t lose you, so don’t say that please don’t say that.” Peter leaned forward again and grabbed your hand cupping it into his own.

“I can’t lose you either, so don’t say anything about me not wanting to be here anymore because I got a little hurt. I don’t blame you for what other people do. You might be a hero, but you’re still a human. One human who is doing the job of so many all the time. Don’t make this so hard on yourself.” You smiled at him sympathetically jerking a little as a cold chill hit you.

“I-thank you. Are you cold? It’s freezing in here.” Peter noticed the goosebumps forming on your arm as he rubbed his other hand up and down the limb.

“Yes, but it’s okay, better than outside.” You joked with him a little as he released your hand taking off the jacket he wore overtop of the hoodie not even thinking about your jacket that was laying on the back of the chair he was sitting on.

Before you could protest Peter sat on the edge of your little bed pulling your forward a bit to put the jacket behind you and get your arms through the sleeves. Even going as far to put the hoodie over your head and zipping it up gently not wanting to put any pressure on the wound from your side.

“Thank you, also pull your sleeves down, I can see your suit.” You warned him not wanting anyone to see what he had hid for so long.

“I don’t care about that right now, are you warm enough? Do you want my hoodie?” Peter was shaking his head, still incredibly upset at what had happened.

“I care, and no this is good. Peter, I am okay. Settle down, I’m awake, I’m talking, and now I’m warm.” You weren’t sure that anything you said was helpful towards his state, but you tried your best to prove you were fine without overdoing it.

You reached out and started pulling his sleeves down yourself worried that someone could come in at any time and he just sat and watched as you did so in awe that you cared about him enough in this moment to keep him safe. Tears started finding their way down his face again he shook his head putting it down again. He could not believe the luck that he had gotten tonight and the luck he already had since he had been with you.

“Hey, cmon Peter, stop that. It’s okay, I’m okay.” You put your hand under his chin, lifting it up, slowly sitting up. You used your other hand to wipe tears off his face.

“Lay back down, I saw you wince, does your side hurt? I mean that’s not even a question of course your side hurts.” Peter grabbed both of your hands in his own gently moving you backwards to lay back down rather than take care of him.

“Sh, it’s okay.” You took advantage of the position you were in and grabbed his face as he hovered over you. Pulling him down you kissed him softly letting your foreheads touch slightly.

That was until people started running down the hall with multiple gurneys, you both looked to the hallway where everyone was in a panic trying to get all these injured people into empty rooms.

“You sure you don’t need to do any more Spiderman stuff tonight?” You tried to let him know that you were in a good enough place for him to go and do his own thing.

“Not a chance.” He shook his head pressing his against yours, your noses touching. Peter was not gonna leave you alone tonight or until you were fully healed again. No matter what the city was doing he was gonna be with you..