#this is where I come to vent
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TUMBLR= My personal diary.
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I feel like it seems like I’m always mad when I’m posting and it’s because I am.
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being physically disabled as a young adult after being an physically active child in and physically active family, who still participates in the online spaces for physically active hobbies but cannot participate physically means… i’m a living nightmare. i talk to people who share this interest with me, and my existence is their worst nightmare. they see my crutches and hear that i cannot walk far or climb a ladder and think, thank god it isn’t me. my existence is horrible and unimaginable to able bodied people.
#i’ll never forget the guy who when i told him i was physically disabled and couldn’t walk much but could walk with aids#he said ‘oh that’s not that bad!’#he meant it genuinely and i understand where he’s coming from#but man#tell me you know nothing about disability without telling me you know nothing about disability#i just agreed and moved on but it stuck with me#cripple punk#cpunk#disabled#physically disabled#physical disability#spoonie#fibromyalgia#vent#this is a vent post#vent post#you can ignore this#this is about urbex but i don’t think it’s relevant so i won’t tag it#okay to reblog
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Ming + being proactive in getting to know Joe and his works
MY STAND-IN (2024) | 1.03
#poom phuripan#up poompat#my stand in#my stand in the series#userbunn#userrain#usersasa#userjamiec#tobelle#msiep3#usertoptaps#tuseralexa#userrlana#userjap#rinblr#my stand-in#clairedgifs#msiedit#thaidrama#justice for my misunderstood meow meow ming#this gifset is dedicated to sasa bc i actually came up w this while venting with her in the dms abt how viewers are mostly misreading ming#ming actually cares you know#like no matter how small joe feels whenever he's with ming... like ming does care#ming doesn't even want the new nice fancy things... he's okay living in joe's humble abode and using old things#ming stops being picky with his food and attempts to cook for joe#this was a bit more detailed in the novel since we had more time#i love the parts in the novel where joe 1.0 would come home very tired from work and ming's passing thoughts are like why dont u just quit#and i'll take care of you for the rest of your life and you dont even have to work so hard for so little wage
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I think everyone but Jimmy would believe in Aliens to an extent and have a weird story about something that happened while in space that they link back or like a UFO or alien.
Curly talks about blips on the radar that move to fast or irrationally to be regular space debris. Too uniform or too fluidly, they disappear too fast too. Anya talks about weird flickering and medbay or like odd flashes on the day screen that are too direct and specific to be simple glitches. Swansea talks about random mechanics on the ship giving out in odd ways, he’s been working for years and things don’t work like that, maybe even a gear or sprocket found after landing he swears is to foreign to be manmade but P.E always confiscates it. Daisuke always wanted to believe and takes the experiences of his very serious superiors, especially Swansea, as proof and wonders if the Tulpar is like a magnet for extraterrestrial happenings.
Jimmy thinks it’s stupid because why would aliens waste time doing all those little things and not just like abduct them? His ass obviously sees one and no one believes him cause they think they just being a jerk and messing with them, even Curly.
#Don’t know if this is just thoughts or something would come of this but uhhh#world where Aliens board the Tulpar because the mouthwash is like idk good fuel and they try to kill the crew to cover it up cause#even pe can like blame them and have to look to the stars if the shipment vanishes like mid haul out of no where#and I guess it is just like aliens au but the aliens love fucking listerine cool mint#they want to do a little probing to but they are mostly there for fresh breath and murder#they could just destroy the ship but where the fun maybe they aren’t that advanced or it’s not that groups job#curly is convinced everytime he has a crazy insomnia dream it was a sign of abduction and everyone has to tell him it’s not#but then Swansea says something’s def in the vents and he’s just there like see my sleeping habits are fine it’s the fucking xenomorphs#doing it to me and like even if that’s also true he needs like melantonin#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#jimmy mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing
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transformers fandom. what if I said bee is not a baby? what happens? do I burst into flames?
#sorry this is just. vent. ughhgh#seriously where did this come from?#do I not know about it bc I dont really engage with TFA stuff? did it start there?#I can see g1 cartoon / bayverse having some influence here#slightly prime? maybe?#ignore me. I'm just frustrated. THEY DONT HAVE BABIES.
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you know, i can handle a little bit of fun "Nandor is dumb" talk, but i have a net-zero tolerance for any implication that Nandor is not educated.
Nandor would have been incredibly educated in his lifetime.
even (or especially) as a soldier in the Islamic World. being a soldier was more like getting sent to boarding school that's also a military camp. they weren't just concerned with creating loyal fodder for war. they were building the next government officials, generals, accountants, advisors, etc. it was important that young men knew how to read, write, speak multiple languages, learn philosophy...sometimes even studying art and music was mandatory.
if he was nobility (and its most likely he was), take all that shit and multiply it exponentially. Nandor would have been reading Plato at the same age most people are still potty training. he would have been specifically groomed in such a way to not be just a brilliant strategist and warrior, but also diplomate and ambassador of literally the center of scientific and cultural excellence of the age.
so like yeah, he can be a big dummy sometimes, sure. but that bitch is probably more educated than any of us will ever be.
#wwdits#nandor the relentless#Nandor#what we do in the shadows#i think its obvious by how much Nandor loves to read that he grew up educated#it's one of my favorite character traits of his#anyways#this was just your local psa abt the depth of Nandor's character and intelligence#and how the medieval islamic world was like - so much more advanced than it's western counterpart it's hilarious how ppl mischaracterize it#(by hilarious i mean it makes me want to break something)#this was in my drafts lolol what did i read that made me vent this? idk#also 'islamic world' is just a term some historians use to describe a specific geographical location and historical age#kind of how 'western world' is used today#it doesn't mean it's specific to one religion or nation but the broader time and location#meaning that Al Qolindar or Persia or Ilkhanate or w/e you want to call where Nandor came from#the same expectations of education and it's vibrant social/cultural world remain an accurate image of the middle east in the medieval age#if you come from the west like me#think The Forum + The Library of Alexandria + Paris/Florence + and idk anything else u think of when u think of 'Western Excellence'#and then imagine of all of that in one place at one time and then u might get close to what the world Nandor was living in as a human
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ownership
#owch i cut my finger on all this edge#this was supposed to be a diary comic but it spiralled into something else and now its an allegory for my deep seated discontent#i dont normally post personal stuff like this- it feels too easy to ask for comfort or validation this way and thats not what i want#its asking a question not knowing the answer but also not really wanting the answer either and hoping something comes out of it anyway#something like an epiphany or at least a point in time where ill look back on this like oh shit thats what was wrong with me#idk! idk!#comics#vent#?#my art#myart#doodles#diary#i made this instead of replying to an email
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the pressure fandom right now
#pressure#roblox pressure#pressure roblox#pressure game#pressure sebastian#sebastian pressure#sebastian solace#sebastian roblox#Like bro I have never felt this much “pressure”🤪 with fandom drama before like#like holy hell#I just feel mixed feelings about this entire situation#Like one second I see someone talking shit about the dev team and the fandom while trying to Spread a false Narrative#About zerum and then I see someone defending the dev team and the fandom#Or seeing people deconstruct this entire Situation and just boil it done to people being childish about someone else's character and#Boundaries or I'm seeing horror stories about zerum and zeal and other dev members getting doxxed and harassed#And then I'm seeing people getting pissy about the whole thing because of shipping drama or I'm seeing people calling zeal out for#ableism or something else entirely#Like I get where people are coming from with this#This isn't the only time people got mad at a character for put boundaries on their character#And I know it would be the last time unfortunately#I'm not trying to defend zeal or zerum nor am I trying to get people to hurt them#I just feel awful about this whole thing and it's just a reminder to stick to smaller fandoms where people are less vocal ig#ok i'm done yapping#Selfshippers live your best life#And I hope the rest of the dev team recovers from this and try to learn how to be more Professional#Once again#I'm not trying to defend anyone I'm just confused and scared of this whole thing#I just wanted to make silly crossover art with sebastian and not have the fear of someone coming into my inbox or dms with my full name#For once :(#thank you for coming to my semi vent ted talk about the current pressure fandom issue
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Going back to my roots ☁️
#suddenly getting an upboost in wanting to draw these guys again#tbh the drive never really left I always feel like drawing them??? I just jevef have the time lmao#it felt so refreshing and free to see them on a page once more :]#this was also a small way to vent about the heat coming in where I am now lol#art#no straight roads#nsr#fan art#traditional art#sketchbook art#doodles#djss#fan character
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Johnny Cade who endured so much suffering and violence and pain leaving behind a legacy first and foremost of kindness and hope you are so special to me
#I’m having thoughts today fellas idk where they’re coming from#things just keep occurring to me and then I take 10 psychic damage#(respectively I’m referring to the church kids and then ‘stay gold’ but honestly#the first one works for a lot of things including how he was the go-to to vent to)#og#the outsiders#johnny cade
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*on verge of crying* GOD DAMN IT, DUAL DESTINIES, LET ME FUCKING INVESTIGATE THE BACKGROUND!!! I want to ask Athena's opinion on every yokai figure seen here and also have a pointless discussion whether any ladder we encounter is a stepladder. Did they not save enough money by using these butt-ugly 3D animations to pay someone to write me a few lines of Apollo wondering if the tongue on the parasol on the right makes it better or worse for shielding you from the sun? They could literally have payed me to write this. It's not that hard. Come ooooon. Give me anything, I'm begging you!
#it is making me so so angry to see locations where the only possible interaction with the background is move away#fucking come on#as if those exchanges are not at least a quarter of my playtime of this game#hhhhhh#how am i to get to know those characters???#this is scar#venting#ace attorney#dual destinies
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“What do you mean there’s still so much biphobia in fan spaces? Bisexuals are like some of the most popular characters!”
Yeah, and they either get treated like this:
Or like this:
“Biphobia isn’t real” neither are your braincells
#bisexuals deserve better#biphobia tw#biphobia#bisexual#bisexuality#listen not to post this rancid post on bi visibility month but part of bi visibility month is venting about biphobia and that’s okay#long tags#bisexual characters are constantly branded as either gay/lesbian or straight because bisexuality is constantly branded as never good enough#yes harlivy are sometimes fetishized by men who want to get off on seeing girls smooch. yes sometimes these men are the writers of dc#no they do not make up 100% of harlivy content. no gross men drooling over harlivy doesn’t immediately make harlivy straight#harlivy have had queer female writers before. a huge portion of their fanbase are queer girls#just because they are occasionally festished doesn’t mean that they aren’t good bi rep#I see where this person is coming from but no. bc REAL BI WOMEN get festishized by men and that won’t make their sexuality any less valid#would you tell these real girls that they’re actually straight since ‘sapphicness isn’t sapphicness once it’s taken advantage of by men’?#glimmer lesbian content makes me sad bc it’s not even like interpreting harlivy or korrasami as lesbians assuming all wlw is solely lesbian#but also erasing her entire romance with bow. degrading it down to comphet and ignoring bow#like I can at least understand mistakening poison ivy for a lesbian but glimmer?? glimmer??!#biphobic#biphobic tw#bisexual hardships#korrasami#harlivy#glimbow#bi#fucking essay in the tags
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Aw man...
#Vent incoming wee woo wee woo#Goooood man I feel so. Stressed and anxious cuz of my job#I hate it. I hate trying not to cry every 5 minutes#I hate the feeling in my chest. It's like someone is poking really hard into it#It's almost suffocating#I feel awful. Every little thing makes me angry. I don't want to be angry at ppl who did nothing wrong. I don't want to be like this#I really wish I wasn't like this. Why can't I be more calm and normal#I feel like I need a good cry. But I don't have anywhere to go for that#When I'm at home I don't feel like crying cuz I purposefully distract myself from stress#But I do feel like crying at work#But ofc I can't cry at work#And even at the end of the Day when going home I'm too tired to cry. Plus it would look weird for other ppl walking by...#I hate this. I get all stressed durring work but then I can't let it out#I have work rn. And tomorrow#I'm just gonna have to feel awful until my Days off come#God. I really hate venting. I don't like ppl seeing me like this but. I don't have anything else left to relieve the pain#I just don't know what to do anymore#Where to go#Whatever. This feeling will go away eventually#It will come back ofc#I just wish there was a better way to ease the pain. But again. I don't have a place for that#So I'll just have to seat w these feelings until they go away#I'll try to keep myself distracted. Which will be hard cuz I. Am at work. The place which makes me feel these things in the first place#But whatever! I'll try anyways#I'll look at art. Or I'll think about characters that I like...#Save me fictional characters. Save me!!#Anyways. Vent over 🎉
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I always feel so out of place even in system communities. Does anyone else relate at all??
Like, idk some system memes are cool and relatable bc obviously not everything is gonna line up, but so much of it doesn't click with us.
We've almost never been put off by the voices, we all wanna communicate, we don't think less of each other or think 1 deserves more front time than anyone else, etc. Idk, there's so many memes about denial and eating each other's food and all this distress. Which is i know, a major part of many system's lives. Part of what makes a meme is the repeatability and a lot of systemhood IS struggles in that area.
But what about systems who do everything right (in the sense that we have healthy coping and such)? What about systems who unconditionally love each other and dissociative barriers are something we work around instead of fighting? What about the systems who love the voices?
#this comes off as abilistic i know im gonna get some bs from this#but listen. listen to me. ur allowed to struggle and this post isnt about/for u if ur gonna get mad or defensive#im talking systems well on their path through purposeful recovery#systems years into studying themselves and having full comfort and understanding within. full love. full acceptance.#i want memes and content that isnt medicalized and saying the same stuff over and over and over and over#all this misery. where is the system content where we're just being plural and silly. im so tired#dont even start on syscourse like its so bad in here#smells like stinky#system babbles#osdd#actually osdd#minor vent?#system posting#memes#did#actually did#actually traumatized#actually traumagenic#endo safe#syscourse dni#positivity
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my bad for not adding skizz won't happen again
#i didnt forget him I promise I don't know why I left him out#i love zkizz this is a sin I should repent or something#tt#i think its cause I don't have a good design for him and this was a lower effort drawing and i cant just draw him normally#he has to be weird and fucked up u know#and I've drawn him a lot but I didn't want to put in the energy at the moment#same as to why they arnt laughing in this drawing#cause I can't just slap an XD face on them and call it a day cause their poses would look weirdly stiff#then I would have to complicate the poses and I didn't feel like doind that cause I'm lazy#no its cause I spent a lot of my drawing energy earlier and I didn't want to burn out so I cut a few corners#i dont know where the line is sometimes#what's low effort and what's me trying to take it easy#I hope this doesn't come off as me venting I'm trying to reflect haha#anyways silly skizz doodle#this should inspire me to stay up a little later to do a few skizz designs tho#wegh
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