#this is what i get for saving videos randomly back in the summer without a care in the world and now wanting to be insane about them

[lovvecherrymotion]

shoulder kiss and messy hair 💕

[thebrownstone]

Anniversary Fic Exchange

June 13th marked one year of our server, so in celebration we hosted a fanfic event! Each participant submitted a prompt and was randomly assigned a prompt in return. You can read all the fics by going to the event’s ao3 collection or on this tumblr post. Thank you to all our participants! And, again, happy birthday to our little server. We love you dearly. 

key: title by author (tumblr)  [rating*, word count, chapter count]

prompt

*G - general audience, T - teen and up audience, M - mature, E - explicit; 18+

Tiempo de Vals by 14carrotgold (@14carrotghoul) [T, 5.5k, 1/1]

Alex was having a perfectly wonderful time when the very last person he wanted to see came waltzing into view - Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor.

Baby, it's Cold Inside by Celaestis (@celaestis1) [E, 9.8k, 1/1]

Acting like they’re cold to have an excuse to cuddle or share clothes or blankets.

It's Getting Hot in Here (So Hot!) by Celaestis (@celaestis1) [E, 10.8k, 1/1]

Acting like they’re cold to have an excuse to cuddle or share clothes or blankets.

All The Ways I Love You by Treluna [G, 1.5k, 1/1]

People think they're doing it on purpose but they're really not - they're truly THAT nauseatingly in love with each other.

Trick Rider by OrchidScript (@orchidscript) [E, 2.5k, 1/1]

Chaotic night with the super six ft. Henry saying yee-haw and any character saying the dialogue "Can I offer you a nice Shirley Temple in this trying time?"

jump in with your heart first by stutteringpeach (@stutteringpeach) [E, 7.5k, 1/1] 

he moved in the day we met and never left.

the beagle, the ghost and the wardrobe by stutteringpeach (@stutteringpeach) [M, 10.9k, 1/1]

he moved in the day we met and never left.

questions and answers by elegantdumpling [M, 1.6k, 1/1]

"There are years that ask questions and years that answer." - Zora Neale Hurston

“You jump, I jump, Jack.” by Muddbloodpotter05 (@mudbloodpotter05) [M, 8.8k, 1/1]

"I just saved your life, so you're welcome."

Hoping You'll See What Your Love Means to Me by politics_and_prose (@historicallysam) [T, 2.4k, 1/1]

Nora and Alex get drunk or high and one of them starts waxing poetically about their partner and the other gets it on video to make fun of them

Always Where I Need To Be by chamel (@cha-melodius) [T, 5.4k, 1/1]

Alex can’t find his glasses again - but he has a suspect in mind for the theft.

The Wrong Classroom by viciouslyqueer [T, 2.6k, 1/1]

Alex and Henry are college professors and are accidentally assigned to teach one of each others’ classes, which is so utterly specific that they know absolutely nothing about it.

SNL | Season 45 Episode 2 | HRH Prince Henry & FSOTUS Alex Claremont-Diaz by TheLastKnownSurvivor (@xthelastknownsurvivorx) [M, 9.7k, 4/4]

"Listen, I’m trying to cut down on the innuendo. But it’s hard... so hard."

i was right there beside him all summer long by hearitinthesilence (@heartitinthesilence) [T, 3k, 1/1]

“You really thought you could get away with this?”

pull the truth right from my lips by athousandrooms (@athousandrooms) [M, 2.4k, 1/1]

"I think someone's a little needy."

There's Smoke in my Eyes (and love in this kitchen) by vonPeeps (@vonpeepsisback) [T, 1.8k, 1/1]

"I didn't know it was possible to burn scrambled eggs to a crisp without actively trying to, sweetheart, but it's still the nicest thing a date's ever done for me."

don't you let it go by smc_27 (@smc-27) [M, 6.9k, 1/1]

Henry blinks into the mirror once, twice, and then frowns, wondering who the brown skinned, curly haired man is that’s staring back at him.

No Sense or Sensibility by InexplicablyMine (@inexplicablymine) [T, 5.5k, 1/1]

“Don’t look at me I thought we were getting Ice Cream.”

Uncut not Uncultured by InexplicablyMine (@inexplicablymine) [E, 6.4k, 3/3]

“Don’t look at me I thought we were getting Ice Cream.”

Promises, Promises by EmmaLostInWonderland (@emmalostinwonderland) [E, 1k, 1/1]

Henry and Alex explore Henry using 'every inch of authority in his blood.

of fathers and sons by adreama (@adreamareads) [T, 7.6k, 1/1]

"Not a win, no, but certainly not a disgraceful performance."

peace by raysletters (@raysletters) [M, 14.2k, 1/1]

Sky High AU

Burnin' Through The Sky by cricket (@cricketnationrise) [E, 5k, 1/1]

museum curator x lawyer au

dibs - (informal) The right to use or enjoy something exclusively or before anyone else, often expressed as an interjection by Poutini (@Cheesecurdsgravyandfries) [E, 1k, 1/1]

"I walked into this party and someone yelled 'dibs!'"

Dibs, the extended cut by Poutini (@Cheesecurdsgravyandfries) [E, 2.4k, 1/1]

"I walked into this party and someone yelled 'dibs!'"

There's No Chocolate by logan_love [T, 2k, 1/1]

And then it was found that all the chocolate was gone.

(you just) call out my name by outofthesun [T, 3.4k, 1/1]

"Sorry, my hands are shaking."

Lost and Found by sherryvalli (@sherryvalli) [T, 3.9k, 1/1]

“Single dad Henry (non-royal) moves to the United States and meets the hurricane of Alex.”

‘Kiss,’ ‘Egg’ and ‘Meeting You’ by everwitch (@everwitch-magiks) [T, 4.9k, 1/1]

An Outside POV from the painter/painters Henry/Alex hire for getting the Brownstone ready to move in.

Dinners and Diatribes by alightlefton (@a-light-left-on) [T, 7.6k, 1/1]

“5+1 anniversaries, any kind, any pairing”

Maybe Dreams Do Come True by Softheart777 [G, 1.3k, 1/1]

"You must be dreaming"

Just Business by bleedingballroomfloor [T, 11.3k, 1/1]

wedding ringer au (but make it gay)

three grubs in a trench coat + gay brit wizard by clottedcreamfudge (@clottedcreamfudge) [E, 8.1k, 1/1]

"Can y'all stop flirting in the google doc :/"

Biggest Fan by Sirius4Life [E, 905, 1/1]

Alex and Henry meet at a Con while separately cosplaying characters who are a couple in that franchise.

Diners & Double Dates by ACDs_Coffee [T, 2.4k, 1/1]

“It’s not a date - we’re just third and fourth wheeling!”

So Quiz Me by indomitablelove (@indomitable-love) [E, 10.6k, 1/1]

“Baby, sweetheart, I love you, but what in the everloving fuck did you just say?”

Not Even At All by ifigo (@juxtaposed-variety) [M, 4.3k, 1/1]

“10 things I hate about you” style AU: “But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you, Not even close, Not even a little bit, Not even at all”

[kyloswarstars]

ROOMMATES • Part 8

Divergent • College AU • Eric x Reader

ROOMMATES masterlist 💫 Divergent masterlist

You escaped your current living situation by moving in with your friend Christina – and five other college students. Little did you know that one of them was the guy who was your ultimate pain in the neck since your first semester. Now, you had to find a way to not strangle him in his sleep out of pure frustration. Also, you had to find a way to get rid of those weird butterfly feelings for him that slowly grew in your stomach.

Words • 2.7k

The enemies to lovers story no one needed.

/////

The day in the zoo was sad and great and irritating and left you with a faint emptiness. Eric kept a physical distance ever since. His hand didn’t brush yours randomly when you met in the hallway. He didn’t stand close to you at the check out when you went grocery shopping together. His feet didn’t accidentally pump into yours under the dining table when you had the roommate gatherings. He didn’t sat down next to you on the balcony, he didn’t bump into you when you got out of the bathroom and he certainly did not press his side to yours anymore. His thigh, his arm, his shoulder wasn’t burning against yours, the magnetising pull just eradicated as if you had never felt it at all.

Your bodies didn’t touch anymore and that made sure that none of all those times, you had wondered if it had been on accident, had been on accident. It had always been on purpose. Eric had wanted to be close and now he didn’t want to anymore. And the weirdest thing of it all was that you still wanted to be close.

The weeks went by. Chicago finally decided that it was time for all the stuffy air to vanish. With one big, biblical doomsday thunderstorm the sky cleared itself with heavy rain and sent all the heat it had held to the future. Stored it for next summer. It was still warm, still summer but it slowly came closer to its end, moving on from the start, moving on from you moving into this apartment.

You stared at the walls in the night. There was still the knocking. Every single night, his knuckles morsed ‚GN‘ and you returned it. That was the closest your hands got – six inches divided by a wall.

While Eric remained this physical distance, his eyes didn’t stop staring at you. And lacking his side pressed against yours in the most random situations, you stared right back. Whenever you sensed his eyes on you, you were drawn to them immediately. As if the magnet had been shoved into them, now that is wasn’t in your thigh anymore.

It’s fine. Everything is fine. A good mantra to repeat when you worked on the study. For a few days you had to repeat it almost every minute to concentrate. But the more time, days and then eventually weeks passed, it got easier. Peter had still been on your mind now and then but he just wasn’t worth it. And, even without Eric stating the obvious back at the zoo, you knew it. It was summer break still, but as soon as the new semester would start, there would be no time to think about a guy anymore. Not about Peter and not about Eric.

With that you fully regained the realistic side of your mind. You concentrated on your beloved constant in life called mathematics. You tidied your room, threw out stuff you didn’t need anymore. You made pizza with Eric for all the roommates, he didn’t press himself next to you at the countertop but instead let you knead the dough on your own. Eric occasionally searched for a conversation and it was all still very sincere, way too friendly for the guy who had argued with you for more than two years in your classes. But no. physical. contact.

Reality. You focused on it and decided it was time to call your brothers. During the summer break your contact always faded a little, giving the fact that Cole had to be at every party, Levi saving his ass and leading a group of volunteers at the sea turtle rescue centre and you being wrapped up in whatever went through your mind.

It surprised you that both of them actually accepted the video call. Instant homesickness greeted you. Especially from Levi’s window. He was sitting in the kitchen, your mom cooking dinner in the background.

„Honey!“ She blurted over the boiling pots. Levi didn’t even have the chance to say hello. Cole, in his window, rolled his eyes. „Didn’t I and your father tell you to at least text once a week? So we know you didn’t fall of the earth’s surface, yet?“

She joked a little but you heard the seriousness in her voice. And it instantly made you feel guilty, knowing very well that a simple one word ‚alive‘ message would be enough for them. And you didn’t know why it was so hard for you to simply do that.

„I pledge improvement.“ You promised and tried to stick to it this time.

„Levi, move! Before dad comes around and threatens Y/N to fly up there every week to make sure she’s okay.“ Cole was laughing and Levi left the kitchen on his order.

„So you are alive,“ Levi stated. With him and Cole it wasn’t that much guilt anymore. Still a little but less than with your parents.

You affirmed and then lead the conversation in a different direction, tricked them into telling you about their summers without having to talk about yours.

Cole got drunk every second day, Levi got his ass home whenever he couldn’t walk straight anymore. No surprise. Levi gave a detailed report about the current numbers of turtle nests and the amount of baby turtles they expected to hatch. It was Levi’s first summer break since he had started college. Instead of freaking out like Cole and running to every beach gathering he could find, he sticked to be the responsible volunteer he was and cared for the turtle protection. It made you proud. Cole, was still on the team too. Only on the afternoons, though. After he had slept off his hangover and before he made sure to get a new one.

Brothers.

At the end of the call your dad fetched Levi’s phone, who sat on the porch by now, and stared at you for a second. He wasn’t as carefree anymore. A few years ago he would just blurb about everything that came to his mind. Now, he thought more about the things he said and what to hold back.

„You need more sleep, honey,“ he said, looked at you with a caring smile and ended the call. I know.

Shortly after the beeping of your phone, indicating the finished call, a knock on your door made you turn to it. By now you could tell apart your roommates by the rhythm of their knocking.

„Are you ready for the store?“ Eric peeked his head in and you wanted to say no but couldn’t. The golden rules of this household were sacred.

„Yes,“ you said instead and followed him outside to his car, parked right in front of the building. A rare parking spot – luck had to be fully on your side to find it free.

Uncomfortable memories of going to the grocery store and the aftermath of it accompanied you once again. This time, nothing would happen, you told yourself. No-one would see you and even if someone did, there was no chance for Peter to reach out to you again. Every possibility had been eliminated by Eric and you.

Eric pushed the cart, you loaded everything in. No blueberry fight, pizza wasn’t on the menu tonight and chocolate pretzels were fully stocked. No repeating of that awful day!

Eric came to stand next to you in front of the snack shelf, within a good distance of course. He grabbed a huge bag of chips, threw it in the cart and waited for you to continue. You stared at the chips in the cart.

„Not on our shopping list,“ you mumbled and almost would’ve returned them to the shelf but Eric grabbed the bag in time to save it from your hands.

„We will need it later,“ he said, his lips pulled in a honest smile.

„Why? What is later?“

He still held the bag of chips with one hand and pushed the cart down the aisle with the other. When he passed you, he dramatically stared at you for a second. „Big time cinema!“

Eric’s silly wide eyes made you laugh – and wish for his arm to actually brush you by accident. Just this one time. It didn’t. He was adamant to not touch you.

/////

With ‚big time cinema’ he meant Toy Story. So it was indeed big time cinema. And big was also the fact that you found yourself watching a movie. With Eric. In his bed. His laptop on his desk played the movie, you laid next to each other, backs propped on a lot of pillows and the bag of chips between you. He didn’t touch you and that gap between you could easily fit Christina if she was there.

At first you shook your head at his suggestion to watch a movie with him in his room. When he went for a good old debate on why you shouldn’t, you surrendered and hoped the dining table full of roommates didn’t make any remarks. No-one did. Christina only wiggled her eyebrows and hid her grin behind a spoon full of veggies.

But now you were here, on Eric’s bed, wearing some joggers and a hoodie and laughed at the screen whenever Rex the tyrannosaur had something to say.

„As a kid I always wondered if my own toys were alive as well when I wasn’t around.“ Eric mumbled with some chips in his mouth.

„Same,“ you whispered. „I wanted them to be real so bad!“

„Right? I wanted my toy cars to be real so they could drive to the kitchen and get me snacks.“ A single chip has fallen down on the way from the bag to his face. You were fast to steal it from the mattress and shove it in your mouth.

Eric turned to you, gasped and whispered in fake consternation: „Don’t you dare!“

You laughed once more. „I remember you saying that we will need this bag of chips. Not only you.“

He was quick to drop it and smiled at you as he placed the bag in the gap between you again. After having a huge bowl of veggies with noodles you still managed to kill the whole bag of chips with Eric. He was a little sad when he stared into the empty bag. He crumpled it up and tossed it into a corner of the room.

The positive side of running out of chips was the newfound silence and therefore finally understanding every word that was spoken in the movie.

„How are you, Y/N?“

There his question was again. In the zoo wasn’t the only and last time he asked. He kept asking whenever he pleased. And he wanted you to answer sincerely, you knew that. And you did, every time. The first time in long that you answered that question in full honesty. And he did as well, whenever you applied the question on him.

It was a lot easier now to answer him. „I feel good.“

„Yeah?“

„Yeah,“ you turned to see his face, the movie still playing in the background but of no importance for the moment. „I feel more like myself again. I understand now that my troubled thoughts about Peter are not worth it. That he’s not worth it but I am. I don’t care about him anymore. Not one tiny bit.“

Your words made his tensed face ease up a little. His lungs let out a breath he must have held. „Good,“ he smiled. He smiled and smiled and smiled. Then he turned to face his laptop again.

„What about you? How are you?“

„I feel more than good now,“ he stated which made you feel even better.

The movie continued playing. Woody and Buzz fought at the gas station. They eventually fell out of the car and were left behind. You were partially concentrating on the scenes, the Pizza Planet truck, when you noticed Eric’s hand moving closer to yours. Your hand, as well as his, was laying flat on the mattress. Out of the corner of your eye you saw it coming closer in ultra slow motion. Did he think you wouldn’t notice? Did he think you would scare away if he moved his hand faster? What did he think?

You took smaller breaths and tried to concentrate only on the movie but Eric’s hand was still getting closer. It was closer than your knuckles at night, when they knocked ‚good night’. Your eyes shifted between the screen, his hand, your hand. All while you didn’t turn your head. This stupid little heart inside of your chest quickened. It activated the butterflies in your stomach, sent them flying through your whole body. Excitement over the almost physical contact was rushing through you.

When his pinky spread out and ever so slightly brushed yours, he waited. For you to draw back, to possibly shout at him for what he was doing. You didn’t. You didn’t look at him, knowing very well that Eric wasn’t looking at the movie on his laptop at all. He kept his finger steady against yours, didn’t dare to move it or to breathe. You didn’t breathe either. Instead you linked your little finger with his, tying them like a knot.

Both of you exhaled at the same time. No one said a word. You still stared at the movie and sensed Eric’s head returning to the screen as well. All the butterflies gathered in your hand and made it tingle. They demanded for more. More than this simple but electrifying knot of your pinkies.

You couldn’t bring yourself to take his full hand, though. A million thoughts were running through your brain and all of them were leading back to this tiny touch. You were scared he would break the physical contact again if you searched for more. Unsure as to why he even had closed the gap and reached out after weeks of adamantly making sure no accidental body contact happened.

You were irritated. And you were… happy. And you stopped breathing once more. Eric stopped your train of thoughts abruptly.

He started to intertwine his fingers with yours. Just the way he had tried to in the furniture store. Back then you had drawn back but this time you didn’t. You welcomed his fingers between yours. When they were perfectly locked in place, you squeezed them shortly, causing Eric to sigh in relief. He grabbed onto your hand and held it tight, not giving you the choice of letting go anymore. Never would you have let go of his big hand entangled with yours. This pure feeling of holding his hand almost made you burst because it silenced the oppressing feeling of homesickness. It captured those butterflies and turned them into a vibrant, positive version of that doomsday thunderstorm from a few days ago. If holding hands could make you feel that way… what would a kiss feel like then?

That thought made your head turn to look at him. You just stared at him as he watched the movie with a grin on his lips. When the closing credits appeared on the screen, reflecting in his eyes, Eric turned to you again.

„I don’t want to leave just yet,“ you said, not really sure why this honest admittance sent heat to your cheeks.

„Okay,“ he whispered and leaned forward to start Toy Story 2 without letting go of your hand. When he pushed himself back into the pillows, he entirely closed the space between your bodies this time. He placed the bundle of hands that wouldn’t let go off each other, on his abdomen and just like that you laid next to each other. His thumb brushed over yours while the second movie unfolded in front of you. A smile was chiseled into your face. You noticed Eric shifting at some point and placing the bundle of hands on his chest. You noticed the movie's noises fainting after a while, your eyelids grew heavy. A wave of Eric’s sent was pushed over, calming you and dragging you into a sheltered sleep.

/////

Taglist • @longlostinanotherworld • @dosentier • @dhunhdchrih • @coryisagee

[livingasaghost]

okay so i always see a bunch of ridiculous aftg headcanons soooo i decided to put my hat in the ring and try it out

this is all about the foxes and their chaotic as hell groupchats

so let’s imagine for a second that this series doesn’t take place in the early 2000s so smart phones exist 

periodically the foxes have exchanged numbers with each other - obviously each of the cliques can contact each other, but then throughout that first year there are little things that cause people to give out their numbers

like at some point nicky lets it slip that he’s having trouble with his stats class and out of the blue allison offers to meet up with him because she’s surprisingly like really great at math? so the two of them start up a little text chain where they just shit talk everyone and start a few random bets

and then dan gets katelyn’s number from one of the other vixens and the two of them initially just start texting about game details...which turns into bonding over make-up and girl talk and eventually dan starts inviting katelyn to hang out with her and the fox girls

at first renee is the only one who has everyone’s number because she’s the only one who everyone likes 

but then after their big win, renee just puts everyone in one massive groupchat so no one gets left out and they can all bond and it’s just as chaotic as one would expect

at first everyone’s just trying to figure out who’s who, but not everyone has an iphone so all the iphone users are really pissed off at the green bubbles

aaron’s the only one with an android because of course he is

he refuses to switch to an iphone even when the rest of the team BEGS him to bc he “doesn’t see the point”

for the whole summer after neil���s first year, the team keeps trying to pressure him and andrew into upgrading their phones because the team is so sick of what it’s doing to the groupchat

neil doesn’t really know how it all works because he’s still getting used to having a phone and having friends to text, but then everyone starts sending him emojis that don’t show up properly and his phone won’t load any photos they send and the rest of the foxes are so FRUSTRATED bc neil doesn’t seem to notice

eventually, in a shocking turn of events, andrew gets so fed up with the chaos of everyone texting his flip phone that he’s the one who gives in

he shows up at the dorm one day and just hands neil a little baggie with his new iphone

they’re just starting to get it set up when nicky strolls in and IMMEDIATELY takes over, showing neil all about emojis and changing your phone background and saving all the fox contacts

neil is, unsurprisingly, very overwhelmed and slightly terrified, so andrew reaches over and does it all for him, and nicky just looks put out

it takes neil like six months to change any of his contacts or backgrounds or settings because he just doesn’t care

eventually he does manage to set his lockscreen to a really bad photo he took of andrew when he wasn’t paying attention

andrew notices it one day and chooses not to say anything

(he secretly loves it)

when the groupchats start heating up.......neil realizes it’s kind of fun to have a smart phone because it feels like the foxes are with him all the time

after neil and andrew get iphones, the rest of the team decide to make a separate groupchat for just apple users bc no one really texts aaron regularly anyway

at first it’s just a place where people drop details about practices

dan shares news from wymack and abby and then kevin starts giving orders about what the foxes can do better

and somehow that is the tipping point

because everyone hates when kevin starts talking exy

(except neil)

so everyone jumps on him and it’s the perfect icebreaker

nicky is the obnoxious one who sends a ridiculous amount of emojis and gifs and reaction images (neil never knows where he finds them all) - he also sends the most tiktoks. usually ones that are super inappropriate or just plain stupid.

allison texts a lot because she’s always attached to her phone ready for the tea and sometimes she’ll send a really raunchy meme just to spice things up

neil doesn’t really know what’s going on half the time - and he never really scrolls up to see what he’s missed - so if and when he does respond, it’s usually just to ask clarifying questions or give a thumbs up

matt is the one who always checks in to make sure everyone’s doing okay - he’ll send really encouraging texts that people like andrew shit on

one time matt sends everyone a really sweet text over the holidays about how much they mean to him....and then dan just kicks him out of the gc and goes “okay enough of that bullshit i hate u guys xoxo” and andrew gives it a thumbs up

sometimes when he’s bored andrew will just kick out everyone but renee and neil bc why not

kevin is the one who gets kicked out the most 

sometimes it’s because he texts about exy, but eventually it just becomes a running joke that they’ll kick him out randomly

like they’ll be in the middle of a conversation and then allison will just boot him out of the gc just to see what he’ll do

usually when this happens kevin will just send an angry message in one of the other gcs telling neil to add him back

it’s usually neil or renee who adds someone back bc they feel bad that people get left out of the gc

renee has this weird obsession with tiktok and she sends them CONSTANTLY like usually they remind her of certain teammates

she’ll send these at all hours of the night bc she has trouble sleeping and that means more time to scroll through the app from hell

and even though it gets on everyone’s nerves, no one can hate renee so they all just kind of....watch the videos and then everyone’s obsessed with tiktok

dan will send memes and things but only when they’re like so ridiculously funny that they get the whole gc wheezing at midnight on a school night

and usually they’re SO ridiculous that they only make sense to dan

“Dan you do realize we have practice tomorrow?”

“matt shut up this girl is talking like MARGE SIMPSON I CANT BREATHE”

most of the foxes text without proper capitalization or punctuation but  matt and kevin and neil (and aaron) are all very proper with their texting

dan makes fun of matt all the time bc he doesn’t seem like the kind of person to Use Proper English but matt doesn’t understand why everyone can’t just use capitals when it’s automatic (he doesn’t know how to turn it off)

neil uses proper grammar just bc it doesn’t occur to him to do anything else

andrew uses lowercase bc it reads like a monotone to him and he thinks it’s ~cool~ and he also likes making kevin mad

sometimes he’ll use the wrong punctuation and grammar on purpose just to get kevin to reply to his texts

eventually nicky realizes he can change the group name and the group photo so he starts the most chaotic conversation by dramatically changing it to a snapchat screenshot of neil asleep on andrew’s lap and calling the gc SEXY EXY BESTIES 👅💦

it stays like that for all of two minutes before kevin notices and quickly changes the name to The Foxes

and then it becomes a free for all as everyone tries to be smart and snarky and ridiculous

stans of kevin’s left hand

the foxwhore court

🧡 Neil Josten Fanclub 🧡

life’s like a game of exy🥍

periodically throughout the week someone will change the name as they see fit - normally it’s something stupid but sometimes they’ll start an actual conversation by changing the group name

The Ungrateful Foxes

fuck you kevin

Guys plz be nice to Kevin

YOU KNOW, I GET IT—

The Worst Team in the NCAA

fuck you kevin

GO TO SLEEP NEIL!!!

one time after they’d spent like two weeks being called wymack’s whores, andrew decided he’d had enough of that so he just renamed it 🖕🏻🦊

and they do have a separate gc with wymack (they just don’t need to bother him with all their shitty commentary)

but funny enough, they’re almost worse in the wymack gc

at first wymack tried to control everyone by kicking people out who misbehaved, but then it just kept happening until it was him, kevin and renee left and he had to let it go

now all the foxes will text him at the most random times with the most random of questions

they also have a running joke where they all call him dad

kevin hates it, but wymack secretly thinks it’s hilarious and sweet

“hey dad can we get pizza after practice tomorrow???”

“dad nicky’s being a bitch can you make him run extra laps”

“WAIT DID YOU GUYS KNOW THAT WYMACK IS KEVIN’S ACTUAL DAD??? *blinking man gif*”

kevin starts leaving the gc instead of waiting to be kicked out

[shortythescreen]

Better.

Summary: The reader has been having a rough mental health week. Their partner, Bloodhound, doesn’t fix it all but they try their best to be there for them. 

Pairing: Bloodhound/Reader. 

Warning(s): Please be mindful going in that there are pretty vivid descriptions of a depressive episode! Including the reader having not showered, not doing laundry, having issues sleeping. Bloodhound is not a ~fix it~ for the reader’s depression but their presence definitely helps the reader cope. Gender neutral reader. 

Author’s Note(s): A commission for my darling @useeer​! He was having a rough time and wanted some Bloodhound being there for the reader! This is very light and fluffy and soft but the beginning IS describing a depressive spell so be mindful if that is triggering to you!

This week’s been rough.

You haven’t done much, which is probably not helping, but… Doing things is just so hard sometimes. Finding the motivation to do things is so hard. Things done without motivation feel empty, skeletal. Like you’re a ghost without legs, floating towards the laundry hamper that has been sitting in the corner of your bedroom for the past two days, clearly overflowing. Your ghostly hands phase right through the basket whenever you try to pick it up and it’s exhausting to exert the effort to make yourself corporeal.

Not that you’re not exhausted already. Sleep has been elusive -- to the point that you’ve been randomly napping throughout the day. At night, you lie away, stare at the ceiling, and think about everything from how yogurt doesn’t make any sense to what if a meteor were to crash into the earth right now. Your schedule’s all kind of fucked up, past late-night gaming, past late-night phone calls.

To top it all off, your legs feel like lead whenever you get up to shuffle into the bathroom. Usually it’s just to take a piss but sometimes you stare at your shower curtain and pretend it’s mocking you. Come on, I know you wanna shower. It’s just a little water. What’s so bad about a little water?

That’s on worse days, though. Today, you’re curled up on your couch, scrolling through Instagram, and, well- at least you got out to the couch. Maybe you’ll even turn on Netflix and put on a show you won’t pay attention to. That’s progress, right?

Sure, you’re kind of greasy, and scrolling through Instagram and watching dog videos that half make you want to cry in joy probably isn’t the healthiest way to deal with your… you don’t want to call it an issue but it feels like an issue. Issues. Whatever, you’re out of your room.

The sound of a knock jars you from the daze you’re in and you lift your head. You haven’t ordered anything recently, so you doubt it’s a package, and most of your friends are busy during the week with work, and school, and… Other things. It can’t be them kicking in your door for answers about why you’ve been so absent.

Your partner, Bloodhound, should still be on World’s Edge. That’s only added onto the shittiness of this week. All you’ve wanted to do is curl up under their arm, breathe in the smell of pine, and wood, and all that other stuff they can never seem to wash out of their skin. You told them so on the phone when you first felt your mood start to spiral.

They promised you that you would be able to do that when they got home. That they would like nothing more than to hold you to their chest, to kiss your cheeks and pet your hair again. The affection they only saved for you they let out over the phone and while it made you feel a little better, it almost made you ache even more for their presence.

But they have a job. Well, kind of. A calling. A duty. You’re not sure what word you should use for Bloodhound’s place as an Apex Legend but you don’t want to undermine it. You know it means more to them than it maybe does Octavio, or Elliott.

You glance back down at your phone. Bloodhound isn’t due back in Solace City until Tuesday and it’s only Monday, your phone tells you. Wonder who it could be.

You push yourself out of the hole you’ve steadily worn into your couch when you hear another quick, polite knock on the door and yeah, that sounds like Hound’s knock. It makes your tummy flutter, little nervous tingles. Maybe they’ve come home early? You shuffle over to the front door and creak it open slowly, squinting at the sunlight that instantly filters into your living room.

“Bloodhound?” You intelligently blurt.

Bloodhound is… dressed down. They’re free of gloves and in place of their helmet is a black, cloth face mask, with the fan logo for when they call upon the strength of their Allfather, or whatever crazy magic they do in order to become the beast of the hunt. They’re not even wearing their goggles – instead choosing to don their rare, round red glasses. The sun creates a halo around them, like they’re a fucking angel or something. It feels like they are.

“My love,” they say, and you can hear the smile in their voice. It makes your own lips twitch up, makes you peer shyly up at them through eyelashes. They open their arms and it’s easy for you to fall into their embrace, to inhale the earthy scent that you’ve come to associate with them. God, you missed them.

They tighten their strong arms around you and while your house is already kind of chilly, you relish in how cool their skin is. You twist your head into their chest, letting their heart thump against your nose.

“I thought you weren’t supposed to be back until tomorrow,” you whisper, voice muddled by the mouthful of their shirt you have. They only chuckle, swaying you lightly from left to right, their nose nudging into your hair.

“I was not,” says Bloodhound, ��but I missed you.”

Fuck. You sniff, beating back the tidal wave of feelings that well up in your throat. Your fucking partner is the best. For all they are the beast of the ring, the Apex predator, they are also yours. Finally, you release them, shuffling out of the way to let them inside.

The door shuts and without the sun, you realize how dark the house has been. They reach up, tugging the mask from around their ear and suddenly you can see their plump lips, the gold stud that sits on their cupid’s bow.

“Sorry I’m not more…” You motion vaguely down at your sweatpants, the oversized graphic t-shirt you’re wearing, “you know.”

Bloodhound waves a hand. “You needn’t apologize for such things, beloved.”

You guess it’s not all that much of a surprise to them anyway. You and Bloodhound had spoken on the phone three days into their week on World’s Edge. You mentioned you weren’t feeling great, that everything was starting to feel far away even though you hadn’t moved.

They fold their mask in half, resting it on the table next to the couch. Then, they glide into your space, their presence as welcome as a cool breeze on a hot summer day, or the soft hum of a generator turning on during a storm. They take your chin between their thumb and forefinger and then you meet their copper eyes that you swear are all knowing.

“Why don’t we take today to be with one another, hm? I missed you while I was away.” They whisper and their opposite hand slides over your cheek. You wince. How long has it been since you last showered, let alone washed your face?

Bloodhound echoes your thoughts. “When last did you bathe?”  

You don’t know what face you make but it must not be pleasant because it gives them all the answer they need. The hand that passed over your cheek finds the nape of your neck and they guide you towards their waiting lips, pecking your forehead delicately.

They detangle from you and begin to busy themselves around your home. They pull a towel from your hall closet then they disappear into your room. Less than a minute later they emerge with a pair of shorts and a sweater you don’t recognize right away. Your heart pangs when you realize it’s theirs.

They sling the towel over their shoulder as they return to you and you could weep at their tender eyes, at the way the little smile has never disappeared from their lips. Like they’re happy to be with you, no matter how shitty you feel. Their fingers weave through your own.

“Come,” they insist, and you are helpless to obey. They guide you into the bathroom, setting down the items they gathered in a neat pile on top of the toilet seat.  They pull back your shower curtain and bend over the edge, fiddling with the knobs of your shower before spray begins shooting onto the bottom.

They roll a sleeve up, turning their head to face you as they stick their hand beneath the water. “You will have to be certain it is warm enough for you.”

“Or cool enough. Your showers are hot as hell, Hound,” you say, your lips quirking up. Bloodhound narrows their eyes at you before childishly sticking their tongue out.

“I like to defrost sometimes,” they say and you actually laugh. They beam back at you, gliding over when the water is to their liking and kissing your cheek. “I will be waiting for you when you finish, elskan.”

They kiss your cheek and you sigh, missing their lips as soon as they’re gone. They close the door with a gentle click, and you set to work ignoring your bully of a shower curtain.

The hot spray feels great – though you do wind up turning down the hot and upping the cold just a little. You feel a lot better after you’ve showered. Once you’re clean, you put on Bloodhound’s sweater, and make your way back into your living room.

Bloodhound has tidied up in the time it’s taken you to shower. It’s not spotless, but there’s not garbage sitting on your coffee table anymore and you think you can hear the washing machine running. You’ll have to poke your head into your bedroom to be sure.

“Elliott suggested a film for us,” they tell you from their place on your couch. You hum, shuffling over and flopping into their side. Your arms wrap around their middle and they place an arm over your shoulders. You’re not sure but you think you feel them relax a little more too, like they’re as relieved as you are that they’re back.

“What film?” You murmur, your cheek squished against their chest. They nuzzle their nose into the visible part in your hair.

“Something having to do with cowboys? I believe he said it was a ‘western’.” They say and you snort, your shoulders moving with the motion. They turn their head, resting their cheek on top of your head, and their red curls tickle your skin.

“Are you feeling better, elskan?” They ask you, softly, gently. There’s no expectation in their voice, only genuine curiosity. Maybe a little concern.

“Yeah, a little,” you say. They nod, and the hand that’s been resting on the arm of the couch find yours. Their large fingers wrap around your bandaged knuckles and they drag them up to their lips, gently kissing the tops of them.

“Would you like to talk about your week? You mentioned not feeling well earlier than I was able to escape,” they say. Their use of the word escape makes you chuckle and you shake your head, twisting your chin up to watch them press the backs of your fingers against their cheek.

“No, babe. I’m already feeling better having someone here. And having showered… Thank you for getting away. I know it was probably a pain in the ass.”

Bloodhound shifts beneath you and you adjust, moving into whatever position they’re trying to get you to. You wind up half sprawled out on their body, your legs long on the couch behind your, your chest against theirs as they stare deeply into your eyes.

“I would do anything for you, beloved,” they whisper, like the words are just for you and they can’t risk anyone overhearing them. “I am only sorry I could not be with you sooner. I would have liked to hold you on your sleepless nights.”

“Even if I kept you up?” You whisper.

“Even if you kept me up. Though Artur is quite grumpy when deprived of sleep,” they tell you sagely and your head drops onto their chest, shoulders shaking with laughter. 

[loved-lefthaunted]

What are your thoughts on all the evermore songs?

oh my god. this is such a hard question for me so brace yourself. it’s taken me nearly 2 months to write this out and i still don’t think i’ve managed to encapsulate all my thoughts.

So, I have very strong feelings about evermore. I immediately loved it three times as much as folklore, for a variety of reasons. I can do a song-by-song breakdown alongside my general thoughts of the album below:

Firstly, I want to preface this by saying that I do not disregard the impact that folklore had on me prior to evermore’s release. I am not oblivious to the fact that folklore likely primed me for the sound that evermore had and that my mind was set up for a similar sounding album so was willing to receive it with more open ears.

That being said, I think that evermore is the superior album. The overall emotional range and sonic variety of the album is wider and more thought out. The different songs provide a more well-rounded listen in my opinion and give me much more emotional investment than folklore. Each individual song feels strong and there are far more songs with single potential than folklore.

So let’s get down to it:

1. Willow - iconic. The big sister that cardigan deserves. The song that I wish the Lover album had been. A song so fully devoted in such a soft and sweeet way without feeling sickly. A mature way to dedicate a song to the person that you can’t live without but in a way that doesn’t throw pink confetti at your face and tell single people to fuck off. TAKE MY HAND? OKAY TAYLOR. WRECK MY PLANS? FOR SURE BABES. THAT’S MY MAN? 100% FEEL U GAL.

2. Champagne Problems - LOOK. I AM CLAIMING THE NAME SAMPAGNE PROBLEMS FOR ALL FUTURE CONTENT. I want to be proposed to just so that I can reject them and then get wildly drunk on overpriced alcohol. It’s heartwrenching in a way that Taylor hasn’t been since the likes of Treacherous. It doesn’t throw sadness at you, overwhelm you with tears. It hides heartbreak within a soft piano riff and gorgeous imagery.

3. Gold Rush - a sapphic daydream. i cannot believe this is real. The return of a heart-thumping drumbeat and the most lovely, pure song that just describes the infatuation with someone beautiful and how you can wonder about them and be so happy about them and jealous of them all at once.

4. ‘Tis The Damn Season - this christmas song makes me wish i had a boy next door in my hometown that i could randomly sleep with. why don’t i have a fluffy hallmark holiday film based upon this premise? why isn’t there a christmas music video to show me how their interactions work during the holidays and how it differs so vastly with their normal lives? Why can i feel both the distance and the closeness that these two people feel? the cutest dedication to a very un-cute casual relationship. a bittersweet shout out to the people who make us happy for a few fleeting moments spread out over the long haul.

5. Tolerate It - i have very VERY strong feelings about this one. it feels like it both encapsulates romantic and non-romantic love so perfectly. It pairs perfectly with the likes of Closure (more on that later). We all deserve to be celebrated. In a world of people settling for less than they deserve, we should reach for those who deserve us. We are worth it. Find someone who will show us how worthy we are. It’s aching and slow and painful and just....everything. Just because someone has always been there doesn’t mean they deserve to continue to be there. Tolerating you is not the same as deserving your loyalty.

6. No Body, No Crime (feat. HIAM) - IT TOOK 14 YEARS BUT TAYLOR FINALLY MURDERED A MAN IN COLD BLOOD AND I AM HERE FOR IT. MEN ARE TRASH, LADIES. REMEMBER THIS. ENGRAVE IT INTO YOUR TOMBSTONES. TATTOO IT ON YOUR FOREHEADS. MEN AS AN ENTITY DO NOT DESERVE US. MURDER THEM. A YEEHAW DREAM. (I have no strong feelings about HIAM but the existence of Este’s name is a blessing in itself, their backing vocals are a lovely addition and a true testament to their friendship as we know how protective Taylor is about mixing business and friendship through collaborations)

7. Happiness - this song is HURTFUL. a song about growth, a song about finding yourself amidst the loss of a partner, a friend, a family member. a loss so deep that it will hurt you for years to come and take a piece of you away forever. but a loss that you have to be resigned to and grow from and let go of. the slow build of the backing is something i haven’t heard since Holy Ground. Both songs talk about loss and moving on in such starkly different ways but still encompass the feeling of reminiscing on something good and pure and perfect whilst battling the knowledge that it’s over and trying to be happy for the person now that they’re gone.

8. Dorothea - the sweetest girl in the neighbourhood. a childhood friend that we all miss having. a person we watched grow into something massive and successful and we’re so genuinely happy for them. the song encompasses the feeling of a distanced joy. a joy that has nothing to do with you, everything to do with this person that you’d be happy to accept again with open arms but will be equally as happy to watch succeed from a distance. a bouncy backing track and lovely vocalisations that really build a sense of a warm hug and the feeling of soft morning sun on your skin.

9. Coney Island (feat. The National) - alright. so i’m sat on a bench in the cold, wrapped up in a winter coat and a hat and gloves and a massive scarf that covers half of my face. i can see the air when i breathe out. there’s an empty ferris wheel at a deserted fairground and i can remember when it was alive and bustling and when i was surrounded by all of the people closest to me on a late summer’s day. and i miss them. i yearn for that to be back. the way we yearn for a time before covid, before masks and elbow touches and sanitising everything. a time when you could sit around a table with your friends and welcome someone with a hug and visit your family for the holidays. a time of joy that was so overlooked until it was gone. The presence of The National is also a breathtaking addition and truly deserved after Aaron’s input on both folklore and evermore. I’m glad they saved it for this song.

10. Ivy - this song just radiates GREEN. Am I in a forest? Am I just in a greenhouse, watering the plants? The guitar/banjo sounds make me so horrifically nostalgic for Speak Now era. The male backing vocals remind me that Taylor has evolved so far from the girl we used to exclusively listen in conjunction with Caitlin Bird and Liz Huett. 

11. Cowboy Like Me - one of the only songs I don’t really care about? it’s not bad, it’s just not great. it’s yeehaw without the accompanying passion. It’s the end of a sad, sad wild west movie. It’s a backing track in a scene of a TV show when someone is going on a journey alone to find themselves. But it’s nothing special.

12. Long Story Short - DO NOT FUCKING TOUCH ME. THE BEST SONG ON THIS ALBUM IN MY OPINION. THE STRONGEST BEAT, THE NOSTALGIA OF 1989, THE LYRICS OF RED, THE FUCKS GIVEN OF REPUTATION. THE PERFECT IMMERSIVE TAYLOR EXPERIENCE. TRULY A 10/10 ENTITY. I WILL HAVE THIS PLAYING AT MY GRADUATION. I SURVIVED.

13. Marjorie - the loss of a grandparent is always a lot. i’ve lost 2 due to Covid and it’s cut me deeper than I ever imagined. Marjorie is the 50′s sepia toned daydream that sends you flying back to being a child and being taught life’s most important lessons when you were far too young to understand them from someone so much wiser than you. It feels like I’m being taught to live again. Another build up backing track, but in such an uplifting way? A way that makes you think of the sun slowly coming out of the clouds. Of the end of a rainstorm and the start of a new day. Optimism and innocence. Peace and hope.

14. Closure - right, the return of sadness. The use of the clatter and discord in the background. The death of a Big Machine (subtle and perfectly done). She’s doing better. We all are. It reminds me of the friends I’ve lost and crave to have back but know I’m better off without. We have to let go of this. Close the chapter. You don’t even need the epilogue, it’s over. The production makes me so uncomfortable and it’s SO NECESSARY because lack of closure is UNSETTLING. It’s horrifying. It’s devastating. But the lyrics and the power of the song show how strong you can be and how important it is to push through the discomfort and continue to live.

15. Evermore (feat. Bon Iver) - the titular song. The return of Bon Iver’s vocals and the lone piano background are truly something to be commemorated for years to come. Although it lacks the painstaking hurt of Exile, this is one of her most simple pieces of artistry on this album and it’s BEAUTIFUL. Something that feels bare and raw. A song that cuts deep and shows us the true core of what she’s currently feeling right now: that although pain might feel forever, it’s not. all pain, much like joy, is fleeting and we have to feel it but we need to remember that it’s only a piece of our experience and place it into context. The song veers on self-pity and wallowing in hopelessness until the latter third, where suddenly hope rises out of the ashes alongside a slightly padded out production from Bon Iver’s vocals. A strong end to the album. This song sets us up for future albums on a note of optimism. It’s a new dawn. 

[lcnelyinthesky]

that time - kenma x reader

a/n: good evening! i feel like i haven’t written in ages, but maybe i kinda wish this wasnt the piece i was coming back in with. in any case, here she is.

based on that time by regina spektor

genre: angst

warnings: heavy mentions of drug use and suicide.

word count: 1.4k

Do you remember the time when I found a human tooth down on Delancey?

It was a perfect spring day. The flowering trees existed in all of their beautiful glory, painting the green grass with splotches of pinks and purples. You walked around a park, looking to meet up with your boyfriend Kenma.

Hey, remember that time we decided to kiss anywhere except the mouth?

Your boots clunked around your feet with every step you took. The legs of your baggy jeans rubbed against themselves as you walked, creating the slightest vibration. The light cotton of your shirt melted into your skin. Your hands found each other behind your back, fingers interlocking. You looked around at the trees and benches and people in dark clothes as you strolled along the paths.

Hey, remember that time when my favorite colors were pink and green?

You remembered the past fondly, a small smile creeping to your face as you thought about the first time you met your kitten. You were at a party with your friends, passing drunken stories around the circle you had formed together. Your pastel pink shirt was tucked into your olive green pants, the fabric held together by a grey belt with a chain attached to the loops. You moved the silver links around in your fingers when a group of guys came in, a particular one catching your eye more than the others. 

Your fingers anxiously fiddled together while you dug deeply into the yellowish eyes of the man standing above you, who proceeded to shoot you a coy smile. He sat down next to you, maroon fabric of his shirt folding as his posture faltered.

He took a liking to you instantly, both of you clicking as stories continued to pass around the room. You giggled as his face turned red every time a so-called “Kuro” poked fun at him. 

Hey, remember that month when I only ate boxes of tangerines?

You were just broke college students, but you made it work. Your shared, albeit small, income covered the rent of a tiny studio apartment and you figured the rest out somehow. None of that really mattered though, because you’d take waking up in his arms, engulfed in his cinnamony scent, over a dorm any day. He was always so cute in the morning. His sleepy eyes told you they loved you without him uttering a word. His hair would be in every single direction but he wore it so well.

So cheap and juicy, tangerines.

Kenma spent most of his time at home. You’d carry him to bed after he passed out at his post, eyes glued to a monitor. You’d lay his exhausted body in bed before you went to shower, and when you’d come back to him, his position would have changed entirely. You’d climb in next to him and face him while he slept. The scent of orange on your breath became something that could never fail to lull him to sleep.

Hey, remember that time when I would only read Shakespeare?

You were always one with spurts of energy, whereas his energy was constant and unwavering. You’d randomly tell him something you wanted to do and he’d laugh, causing a flame that allowed you to actually get it done. 

“I’m gonna memorize Lady Macbeth’s monologues. All of them.” You looked up from your phone at your boyfriend. His gaze met yours as his mouth twisted into a smirk and his eyebrows raised.

“Definitely, baby. I’ll learn Macbeth’s and we can be them for Halloween.” He laughed at you slightly, but it was all out of love. It always was.

Hey, remember that other time when I would only read the backs of cereal boxes?

You sat at the kitchen table in a trance, staring down the box your breakfast came from. Kenma walked in, sleepily trudging towards you, and asked what you were doing. The words came in one ear and out the other, an empty haze going over your brain. He went to the kitchen and tried to hide the clinking of a pill bottle with a story about a woman he saw in the park. He swallowed something mint green with water, before asking you--once again--about your blank stare.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Kenma walked over to you and placed an arm around your back, bringing you back to reality. You shook your head and looked up at him, asking flirtatiously if you could join him in a morning shower. He stuttered out an “okay”, but that’s when the worry started.

Hey, remember that time I tried to save a pigeon with a broken wing?

“Kenma! Hey!” You shouted, panicked in front of your apartment complex, a bird in your hands. The sky was a pale grey that contrasted heavily with your bright yellow shirt. The terrace attached to your living room had someone standing on it now.

“What the hell is that?”

A street cat got him by morning, and I had to bury pieces of his body in my building's playground

You wore black the next day. Something in you became used to the lack of color. It wasn’t exactly a change in personality, and it sure was subtle. Kenma never noticed when your closet’s colors started to fade. Nothing confused him when you left your pink shirts at the laundromat on purpose. Yet he was so observant elsewhere.

I thought I was going to be sick

But maybe something went too deeply into his brain, occupying his every thought. Nothing really seemed too different because his focus was always deep in a video game, but then you beat him at Mario Kart.

Hey, remember that time when I would only smoke Parliaments?

He wasn’t as sharp with a controller in his hands. He stopped falling asleep at three in the morning, sometimes turning in at as early as ten. He started spending more time away, walking down the alleyways between office buildings before and after his normal desk job. 

Hey, remember that time when I would only smoke Marlboros?

You woke up at seven one morning to an empty bed, knowing you fell asleep next to your boyfriend at twelve the night before. You rubbed your eyes and stretched your arms, walking twenty feet to see a blob of dyed blond hair and plushy black fabric. 

Hey, remember that time when I would only smoke Camels?

The bags under his eyes were deeper and darker than you had ever noticed them. His eyes fluttered open at the soft touch of your hand and he groaned at the brightness of the light. 

Hey, remember that time when I was broke?

“Shit, y/n. My neck hurts.” His arm reached around to massage the back of his neck, wincing his eyes shut at the light movement. 

“What’s this about, Ken?” Concern littered your face and nipped from your voice. He came back to reality slowly.

I didn't care; I just bummed from my friends

“I- uhm. I got too warm and had to sleep on the couch. Sorry, baby.” He seemed genuine. He put on a genuine face for you. The stutter made you doubt him.

Hey, remember that time when you OD'ed?

You were still strolling about a park, waving hellos to birds as they flew by. The black denim of your baggy jeans rubbed together, creating the slightest vibration. A tear fell from your squinting eyes at the memory. The happy facade you created fell quickly and all at once. 

Hey, remember that other time when you OD'ed for the second time?

You were looking to meet up with your boyfriend Kenma at the usual spot. He would be sitting there happy to see you, ready to push your hair from your face the second you sit down next to him.

Well, in the waiting room while waiting for news of you

Plot 34D. There were always flowers placed in the small vase. Kuroo came every three Thursdays. You typically went on Saturdays.

I hallucinated I could read your mind

“Hey, Kenma. On the way over here I was thinking about that one summer I only ate those tiny oranges! Remember how you always said they reminded you of your friend Shoyo?” You giggled, tear falling onto the well-maintained grass. “I stole one from a little farmers market in town and ate it right there. You would’ve scolded me so bad.”

And I was on a lot of shit too, but what I saw, man, I tell you it was freaky

[thepapergirlandthespiegelman]

Spoilers for Netflix’s Castlevania below the cut

I will preface this by saying that I absolutely have not played the video games. I understand that the show does draw from them, so maybe certain things make more sense in that context, but this is based solely on my viewing of the show itself.

Also, these are just my personal rambly feelings, so please do not take offense. You can have your own thoughts and ships.

Y’all what the fuck is going on in Castlevania. I just finished Season 2 and started Season 3 and I’m just like WHAT. How could Sypha and Trevor just abandon Alucard like that? Like, “yeah, we know you just killed your own father in your childhood bedroom and you’re probably experiencing some really intense grief and a lot of complex emotions right now, but we’re gonna just leave you in this old, empty castle full of things that remind you of your dead parents while we go off and have adventures. k Bye :)” Like, okay, maybe I can sort of accept this from Trevor because part of his thing is being emotionally damaged and unavailable, maybe he wouldn’t feel comfortable reaching out to Alucard, but I feel like Sypha should know better. It just feels out of character for her to be so completely unconcerned.

And then Sypha and Trevor just randomly start being a couple and I’m like ???????? Like it’s fine as a pairing, I don’t hate the idea of them being romantically involved, but it’s really out of the blue and also REALLY inappropriate for the circumstances. Like, hello??? Your friend Alucard is really struggling here, this is not the time to go have your fun summer romance or whatever. Also it was a little patronizing and inappropriate for Sypha to pressure Trevor into coming with her on adventures by saying “it’s good for you,” like he’s completely incapable of deciding on his own what’s good for him, but whatever, it probably is good for him, and it’s not an unforgivable offense as long as she truly meant well. (Again, though, it is extra weird that she takes such a strong interest in Trevor’s wellbeing when she’s leaving Alucard completely in the dust.)

But then Season 3 just took things to a whole new level where Alucard is literally in his house going insane and talking to dolls and the dynamic between Trevor and Sypha is...I kinda wanna say toxic heterosexuality. I hope that’s not needlessly provocative but like, it’s this very uncomfortable vibe of like, the man has to be big and stupid and emotionally unavailable and like beer, while the woman gets to be smart and right and constantly make fun of and criticize him. A little playful teasing is one thing, but it feels like Sypha takes it beyond teasing, to the point where she’s actually devaluing Trevor’s perspective and feelings (see “it’s good for you”). Alucard basically calls this out explicitly when he’s talking to the dolls. And the whole “beer is better than sex” thing...idk man, Sypha’s response felt cringey. Like, “How dare you enjoy something more than having sex with me?” ??? People are allowed to like the things they like. Also, seems like y’all been fucking like every night (quite honestly I was kind of floored to find out they were having sex, since again, I really didn’t see any chemistry between them), and he probably hasn’t had a beer in a while. There’s no need to take it personally. Yes, it’s reasonable that she might feel a little hurt, and yes, it’s okay for her to tease him, but something about it just feels immature and even a little possessive or narcissistic. It doesn’t make me love their relationship, basically.

I have a pet theory that Trevor, Sypha, and Alucard make up a carefully balanced ecosystem. All three of them take pot shots at each other, but there’s clearly a dominant tension between Trevor and Alucard that Sypha then has to mediate. Trevor and Alucard fight like cats, and Sypha breaks them up. Also, since it’s usually Alucard picking on Trevor, Sypha gets to play the hero and rescue/defend Trevor from Alucard’s attacks, which makes her feel good about herself as well as closer to Trevor.

But now that Alucard’s taken out of the mix, everything is all messed up. Alucard’s obviously a mess, but so are Trevor and Sypha. Sypha clearly feels very warmly toward Trevor, but without Alucard as an alternate target, all of her gibes and annoyance end up directed at Trevor. And maybe she discovers that her feelings toward him were more complicated than she originally thought when she rushed into this relationship.

Also like...I don’t really know what to say about what’s going on with Hector. It’s super fucked up, and no one is coming to save him.

I want to be clear that this isn’t intended as condemnation of the writing on the show. Media can and should show bad/questionable behavior, bad/complicated relationships, and tragic circumstances, especially among the protagonists. It’s how the show treats these things that matters.

And like, the point of media is to make you feel things. And boy, did these choices make me feel some things. Mostly confusion and indignation and distress, but those are valid emotions too.

I’m genuinely curious to see where this goes. I assume that Alucard finds his way back into the fray somehow. I have no idea what’s going to happen between Trevor and Sypha. I kinda want them to break up. I didn’t see any real chemistry between them before, and I’m not really seeing any now either. But who knows.

[peter-parcoeur]

“When you’re gone” - part 2

Summary + Chapter 1

Comment if you like it ♥

Chapter II

It had been two weeks now.

Two entire weeks of a world Tony Stark wasn’t part of anymore and still, Peter wasn’t ready to come out and face the emptiness he had left into his own life. It was just too brutal, too confusing, and too sad.

Ned had come to visit almost every day in hope that, at some point, Peter would consider leaving his bedroom and catch some fresh air. Every single attempt failed as he barely had the force to get out of his room to share a meal with his aunt. Sometimes he would simply watch his meal until it was completely cold. His entire world had collapsed and now it felt like he had no goal left. Even thinking about MJ didn’t bring him a single happy thought, he had simply lost interest in his ordinary life.

“School’s starting tomorrow” May stated as she grabbed a few dirty clothes from his bedroom floor “you should get your stuff ready for the big day!”

“You’re calling this a big day?

-          Last year of high school, this is HUGE.

-          Whatever, I’m not going anyway.”

Peter flinched at the sound of the laundry basket being dropped on the wooden floor. When he looked up, May looked furious.

“Okay that’s it, get up, now!

-          Wow, what’s up with you May?

-          I’ve been patient and I know you’re hurt honey but I won’t let you drop out of school and make stupid decisions like this! So you better get your ass out of this bed or I’ll drag you out of your bedroom so fast you won’t get to use your freaking magic spider sense!”

She was sat by his bed now, pulling at the cover so she could finally look into his eyes.

“What happened is truly awful and we’ll mourn Tony for as long as we get to live… But… Life needs to go on. You’re 17. Do you think he saved you so you could spend your days in bed playing Fall of Duty in your boxers?

-          That’s… Call of Duty actually

-          Whatever! This is a stupid game and you’re smarter than this, Peter.

-          I just don’t know how to do it…

-          One step at a time baby.”

With a tender hand resting on his cheek, she pecked his forehead.

“First step: take a shower, you smell like a rotted dead fish.” She winced, “Happy’s coming over for dinner, he’ll be happy to see you looking fresh.”

“Happy’s been coming a lot lately…

-          He’s been really supportive. Now out! Shower!” she snapped her fingers, grabbed her laundry basket and left the room so she wouldn’t have the conversation she was dreading.

There’s was something therapeutic about long, hot showers and though his heart was still heavier than ever, Peter couldn’t deny he was lucky to have May to kick his ass when he needed her to.

Walking back into his bedroom with a towel wrapped around his hips, Peter could smell his aunt famous’ meatloaf cooking from the kitchen. She was right, life would still go on even if it didn’t seem that appealing without his dear friend in it.

As he looked for a fresh pair of pants and some socks, his eyes were inevitably drawn to a few pictures he had pinned on his wall, right above his desk. Every person he’d ever loved was in there. His parents, his uncle Ben and May on their wedding day, Ned, MJ, Happy… And of course, Tony. His heart sunk into his chest as he grabbed a picture of himself holding a little girl wearing Iron Man’s helmet with her hands wrapped around his neck, recognizing Tony’s daughter, Y/N.

If only he had a chance, Peter would go back to this day just so he would get to hang out with Tony and his family again. To think he wouldn’t get to see his daughter grow into a woman (and probably terrorize any man willing to date her) was heartbreaking, especially when he thought of the way she looked at the funeral. She seemed both devastated and angry with no helmet for her to hide her feelings anymore.

He remembered every detail of the day he had met Y/N, 8 years ago.

 ***

 It was the first time Peter ever stepped into Tony Stark’s actual home. So far, they had met at Stark Industries or in random places all over the world but today, Tony had invited his young apprentice into the intimacy of his Home.

The weather was incredible that day, sunny and warm like a summer afternoon even though it was in the middle of March. Peter didn’t know why he’d been lucky enough to be invited here but he felt extremely thankful for it.

“Hi Peter, please come in” Pepper buzzed him in on the huge monitor in front of the main gate. Of course Tony Stark’s house was surrounded by a thousand of video cameras. After all, he was one of the most powerful man in New-York City, not to mention that he was, well, Iron Man.

Stepping into such a huge mansion wasn’t anodyne for Peter, a kid from Forest Hills. This looked nothing like anything he’d seen back in the Queens.

“He’s down in his workshop if you want to join!” Pepper smiled as she seemed busy with paperwork. She quickly led him towards the elevator, giving him the instructions to enter the basement like he was standing in the heart of the SHIELD’s offices. Everything seemed cool and impressive for an ordinary teenager.

Peter could hear AC/DC blasting from afar as he reached the basement. In front of the big steel doors he found a screen, just like Pepper had told him and as soon as he stood in front of it, a facial scan started.

“Welcome, Peter Parker” – with a click, the main doors opened for him.

“Hi kiddo!” Tony was working on a new armor that looked like a bigger, smarter version of his original Iron Man suit. Peter had always been impressed at how easy Tony made it look when it came to technology. As much of a geek he might be, Peter could never be on that level of perfection.

“New suit?

-          Yeah… Well, we’ll see where this goes, I’ve been thinking.”

Tony always seemed to say this. It’s like he never slept at night because somehow, that’s when his greatest ideas came alive. It was just crazy to think that a man could come up with incredible weapons and crazy armors just over a sleepless night. Would he be given the same amount of time, Peter wouldn’t even get through a school assignment.  

“Your house is incredible, thanks for the invite Mr Stark

-          It’s Tony

-          Alright, Tony.” Peter smiled, genuinely flattered Tony Stark himself would consider him close enough to name it anything but Mr Stark.

-          By the way, not that I wouldn’t have you there randomly but… Someone was dying to meet you and you know me, I aim to please.

-          Really, who!?”

Peter was secretly hoping it would be Nick Fury. He was just as scared as an admirer of the director of S.H.I.E.L.D. He couldn’t wait for the day he would make him an Avenger. To this day, it remained his biggest dream.

“Come on out honey, don’t be shy…” Tony smiled in a way Peter had never seen before.

Clearly, he would never call Nick Fury “honey”, so that dream was off the table for today.

Then a little girl came out, fiddling with her hands and avoiding all eye contact.

“Hi?” Peter smiled at her shyness, “is that Y/N?”

“My one and only” Tony stated proudly.

Tony had told him about his daughter, Y/N and how she had changed his whole life. What didn’t matter before, like getting injured or stepping closer to an inevitable death, mattered now. Happy had even told Peter that becoming a father had made Tony more anxious, more stressed. It was a different dynamic now that he had something to lose. Of course there was Pepper too, but she was hot and smart, she’d find a new husband. Y/N would never find a new dad.

Getting down on one knee, Peter welcomed the little girl as warm as possible. She could sense she was a bit star struck for some reason, but he had always been amazing with kids. She wouldn’t be the exception.

“Hi, I’m Peter!” he beamed, reaching for her hand.

“Oh she knows!” Tony chuckled “she’s not usually that shy, she’s just… impressed.” Tony watched the expression on Peter’s face change immediately “Don’t get too cocky, she just likes you very veeeery much, right honey?”

The little girl nodded then went straight into Peter’s arms for a hug.

“Aw that’s cute!” Peter smiled, holding the little girl against him.

“Yeah well, be careful, her dad’s kind of a psycho!”

Looking closer, Peter could definitely tell she was a Stark. She had her father’s eyes and mischievous smile but sometimes she would give you one of Pepper’s famous cocky look. Everything about her screamed “I’m the result of two geniuses’ love” and he could tell she’d become a smart ass in the future. Secretly, he hoped he’d still be around to see that, only because it would mean Tony would still be his mentor.

           The rest of the day went blissfully. Peter learned more about Y/N and had the privilege to see her “astrology” themed bedroom with a ceiling covered with stars that would shine in the dark, her massive telescope her daddy had built for her 8th birthday and all twelve names of her favorite toys. Out of everything, the cutest thing was the spider-man figurine she kept on her bedside table. There was no denying he was for sure, her favorite super-hero.

When Peter left, Tony grabbed Y/N into his arms for her to wave goodbye to her new friend.

“Daddy? She asked after a while

-          Yes sweetheart?

-          When I grow up, I want to marry spider-man.”

Pepper couldn’t help but laugh at Tony’s face, a perfect mix between the astonishment and the one he’d given her when she had keyed his favorite car “just for fun”.

“That kid will have to kill me first” he joked, walking back into the house as he held the most precious gift life had given him.

Thinking about it, Peter probably wasn’t the worst choice she could make… when she’d turn 30.

***

“Peter???”

Peter realized he must have blacked out for a while when he caught a glimpse of his aunt May and Happy at his doorway. How long had he been dreaming?

“Oh errr, sorry, I was just… thinking… Good to see you Happy!

-          Hi kid, I’d give you a hug but you’re underage and shirtless, so that’s weird!” Happy joked, pointing at Peter’s naked chest.

-          Dinner’s ready, May added, whenever you feel like joining us?

-          I’ll be out in a minute.”

Peter sighed as he pinned the picture back on the wall, wondering if he’d ever get to speak to Y/N again.

[ofpeachez]

task 001: character introduction.

(admin tangerine, 21, est) ☼ who’s that hottie, standing outside the love hotel? it’s VERONICA LOMBARDI, a BISEXUAL CISFEMALE, who looks a lot like LEA MICHELE! NIKKI’s insta bio says SHE is an INFLUENCER and is looking for a fun time this summer. SHE is into DADDY/MOMMY KINK & GROUP SEX, but not into SCAT & BLOOD PLAY. by the way, SHE reminds me of TIGHT YOGA PANTS & COLORFUL SUNSETS.

quick infos:

full name: veronica eleanor rosemary lombardi

dob: august 23rd 1988 (she’ll turn 31 this year)

pob: las vegas, nevada.

kinks: daddy***/mommy kink, mild roughness,  group sex, public sex, receiving oral (eat her out good and she’ll marry you... too soon) although she enjoys giving oral to girls and/or strap-ons/dildos, mutual masturbation, nipple play, hair pulling squirting, spanking, consensual somnophilia.

anti kinks: blood play, wax play, electric stimulation, bondage, very rough sex, scat, foot play, humiliation & extreme anal (fingering and butt plugs are fine, but there will be very rare anal sex).

3 favorite things: dancing naked at 2am to some electronic music or old rock songs, italian gelato (she’d give you a handjob for a raspberry gelato) & puppies videos on instagram.

3 things she hates: spiders or bugs of any sorts (excluding spider man or ant man or black widow wink wink), people who lack of respect & compassion, bad hair days.

+2 positive traits: easygoing & compassionate

-2 negative traits: gullible & jealous

wanted connections:

TAKEN BY LINCOLN LEWIS & HIGHLY WANTED! ex-husband: idk where i’m going with this, but i have a feeling this would be so interesting if he’d come back to the hotel and they’d reconnect after a few years of being apart and not speaking. bonus points for high sexual tension and cute stuff! suggested fcs: chris hemsworth, jamie dornan, tom hiddleston, john stamos, nick jonas or darren criss.

daddy and/or mommy: just that “caring, loving but also can please all your needs” vibe. spoiler alert, she won’t be the mommy, she’s too much of a sub for that (usually). keanu reeves, bradley cooper, jeremy renner, joel kinnaman / natalie dormer, amy adams, jessica chastain, priyanka chopra, gal gadot, olivia munn, anna hathaway.

TAKEN BY GABRIELLA PEREZ femme fatale: just a woman, preferably younger whom nikki just can’t resist. someone with dominant tendencies. or someone around her age too! suggested fcs: dianna agron, ana de armas, margot robbie, gal gadot.

friends with benefits: GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS no suggested fcs, i just want girls.

sexual tension: it says it all. all fcs! 

headcanons

childhood + teenage years:

only child of a loving family of restaurant owners, veronica inherited the best conditions to become a typical italian girl from a just as typical italian family. she was loved by her parents, she loved them. she learned to cook at a very young age and had a noticeable talent. she was the preppy girl from the picture perfect family. she had a dog, alfredo, that she rescued from the streets and who became her only friend for most of her childhood.

in high school, she bonded with a pair of twin siblings who came from a completely different background. from what she knew, their parents were big gamblers and lost most of their savings in casino nights. these people had that edge and gave that down to earth vibe nikki admired yet could not completely comprehend. they were a dynamic trio that balanced one another perfectly. jack (npc) was a total artist who encouraged nikki to express herself, valerie (npc) was very analytical and had a talent at reading through nikki while nikki herself was that sweet figure who was easy to please and could easily please everyone.

when they graduated, valerie confessed she had no idea what she would be doing with her future with no money at all. they were sitting in nikki’s family restaurant and drinking beer in cask with nostalgia and a part of sadness. jack had big plans, he found an apartment in san francisco and wanted to become a graphic designer. nikki, however, was torn between taking over the family business or making a living of her own. that was when valerie drunkenly suggested to work at one of the newly opened strip clubs nearby their neighborhood.

so she did.

twenties:

she turned 18 when she realized she had lost so many years to living in a mold she no longer fit in. she was more than just preppy church outfits and cooking sundays with her mother, she was more than a daddy’s girl who washed tables when the restaurant was closed. what did adults always say? a good education promised a good future, so, veronica applied to the college of southern nevada for a degree in communications with a minor in women’s studies. she had no idea where she was heading, but it was a start.

her parents contributed by driving from class to home every day, they paid her more adult looking clothing and they finally gave her the freedom she never knew she needed until she reached majority.

although jack disappeared from her life, valerie remained very present. they did as they agreed and found a job at a high end strip club in vegas. they made good money instantly without having to do nasty stuff nikki had never been introduced to. within a few months, they saved enough to get matching tattoos, new jewelry and pay for valerie’s apartment. the club provided a living area a few blocks away, but valerie felt better living on her own. nikki tried to mingle and fit in with the other girls, but they were too different. maybe it was the education, maybe it was the background, but the trashy side of this job did not interest the italian girl more than that.

veronica worked as a stripper during college until she graduated with a degree that would soon become irrelevant and useless. with contribution from her parents who never even judged her for her job (it was true nikki did tell them it was just a dancing studio) and with her savings, veronica moved out of nevada and headed to california. she found a small place and joined a community business that organized all kinds of social and sport activities. she became a pro at all yoga, zumba, meditation and dancing activities. she loved to work with the kids, the families and the older people who were just searching for a fun time.

while she was working there, nikki started to get active on social media. she would most dance choreographies to massive songs, making hundreds of thousands of views on youtube. she liked the attention she was getting, but she still preferred her real job the most. 

mid-twenties

so she met someone. randomly. they hooked up with no after thoughts, then hooked up again and again and again... it felt like love to them. everything escalated so quickly, but it felt like she was finally meeting her parents’ expectations so nikki went with it. LINCOLN  proposed only a couple of months in the relationship, and they got married soon after that. he was smart, attractive, perfect, almost too good to be true. she never thought she would deserve someone like him. they lived together, and their love became very intense. marriage was not about dealing with every issues by fucking all over the place. she loved it, of course, but something was off between them. maybe they were falling out of love, maybe they did not take the time to evaluate their future together, maybe they were not made to be together. or maybe they were, just not at that moment.

they divorced a couple of years later like a couple who noticed they were better off as friends, the thing was they did not remain friends and decided to live life on their own. there was no fighting, plate throwing on the ground, ugly crying and couch sleeping. there were just goodbye kisses and passionate love making for the last time, or so they believed.

after divorce, she decided to quit her job and focused entirely on social medias. 

now:

she has been an influencer and youtuber for the past 2-3 years. she posts about cooking, relaxing, fashion, and does a ton of vlogs.

she loves the sun, the vibes and the people of los angeles. 

she also decided to open her own yoga and lifestyle studio, where she teaches for all ages and all kinds of people. from yoga to the basics of dancing, she loved to be surrounded with people. her well-developped flexibility from dancing served her beautifully. she hired other instructors but still runs the business while focusing on her instagram, which has 900 000 followers.

she has been divorced for the same amount of time without being able to quite erase LINCOLN from her mind. the truth is she never really dated or hooked up for the fun of it. she focused on work and on discovering new hobbies.

she heard about the love hotel through her friend, valerie, who joked about this being exactly what newly divorced nikki needed as a way to spice up her life. on a just as drunken night as the one that brought them to work as strippers, nikki called and reserved a room. it is taking her completely out of her comfort zone, but she has a feeling that this is for the best.

headcanons:

she is more of a receiver than a giver. she rarely decides to take the lead unless she really wants to or feel comfortable with the other person. she crushes and gets attracted very easily but nothing leads to serious relationships. she enjoys threesomes and being the center of attention in them. she is very comfortable in her body and would walk around naked all the time if it was socially accepted, so she does not mind having an audience too much.

outside of kinky stuff, she’s a romantic at heart. she LOVES to be treated with kindness and to be treated like a princess. she is also willing to do that for her partner, because if marriage taught her one thing, it’s that it takes two to tango. nikki’s at a point in her life when she wants to meet new people and have fun. she had plenty of it when she was stripping and dancing, but being rushed into marriage kind of made her lose herself into a world she was not completely ready to enter back then.

she volunteers at animal shelters and helps playing and socializing pets. she has a few scars here and there of times when it did not go that well with an animal. chances are she might be distracted at all times if she sees a cute puppy or kitty.

her instagram and youtube are filled with dancing videos, cooking videos, song covers, general vlogs and thirst traps. there’s a reason she got so famous from doing almost nothing at all and said reason is her perfect peach butt she just loves to show off.  

she’s italian so yeah she’s all about sharing and loving and eating pasta all the time because that is her own definition of a dolce vita. she is kinda close to her parents, but their relationship became a bit rocky when a) she moved out and b) ended her perfect marriage and broke the traditional dream of building a family of her own before she hit thirty. 

[psyga315]

Fixing RWBY Volume 4

Volume 4 is… interesting, to say the least. It is obviously a breather volume, but at the same time, it tries to hammer home that every character is suffering to some degree. It also tries to do a sort of Game of Thrones-style “location-based arcs”, where multiple plots unfold across different areas. The only problem is that not everyone gets that spotlight. I can point you guys to the scene where Ruby sees Jaune training and nothing comes of it.

This is where I was beginning to see the problems of RWBY (dropped out midway through Volume 1 and only picked it back up before Volume 3), but I couldn’t quite put my finger on where exactly. Some critics have pointed to Volume 4 as a place where things begin to fall apart, especially in regards to Blake’s character. Then again, she was drawing pictures of the man who abuses her so…

As such, I’m going to tackle this Volume and try to tweak it so that it’s better. As before, I’m not going to reinvent the wheel or slap unneeded characters around. At this point, the only biggest change was Hazel’s appearance earlier in the show. With that in mind, we should begin with a meta-story first.

Keep Moving Forward

Volume 3 was a success and hype for Volume 4 was at its peak. Because RT managed to sell the idea that RWBY was gonna get dark way earlier than they did, I don’t see them using RWBY Chibi for anything other than training people to use Maya. Although there were plenty of animators from Volume 2.5 that used Maya, the ones RT picked out had experience with Poser and thus, they need to bridge the gap before the big Volume.

Around the same time, Miles and Kerry begin to realize that they’ve undertaken a rather ambitious task. Realizing the limit of their age earlier than they did (no joke, part of the reason the Faunus subplot got ditched was because they considered themselves too young and inexperienced to properly tackle it), they had an emergency meeting to figure out how to handle this Volume.

One solution was to simply keep the girls separated for one or two episodes before they’re reunited, nipping the problem in the bud and allowing the plot to continue. Miles insists that there should be a longer degree of separation. After all, all these girls have been traumatized and this isn’t going to be a simple pat on the back for them. The idea is then extended to one volume, to which Kerry suggests that the girls spend two Volumes separated. One where they’re getting over their trauma and the other where they’re doing something about their situation.

Instantly, the idea sticks and plans for both Volumes 4 & 5 began to take shape. Now comes the question of how to handle the high concept of four, maybe five plots going on at once. I’d assume that, with the Volume 2.5 thing, RT would have a lot of animators they could call upon. And so, a means to tackle the idea was formed: Much like how RWBY split up, so too should their animators. Miles and Kerry would continue to write scripts for the episode (barring suggestions from each animation team) and the four animation teams would handle their respective arc.

We have Team Mistral, the main team that deals with all the RNJR scenes and scenes that don’t involve the other members of RWBY, such as Salem’s Lot and Oscar. Then we have Team Atlas, who handles Weiss’s scenes. Team Menagerie handles Blake’s and Team Patch deals with Yang’s.

M&K also decide, this time, that, if they’re going to get serious, they should at least set up some sort of timeline. This leads to a month of brainstorming between them and other members of the crew to figure out what sort of hijinx would happen in a 6-8-month timespan and more importantly, how the saga would unfold. Should it all be at the same time or split across different points? Miles argues that it’d get too confusing, so at the same time would do.

They also decided to plot out how Volume 4 would unfold. Each episode will have RNJR as a major focus, with the members of RWBY sharing focus each episode. The way it works would be as follows:

· Episodes 1, 11, and 12 would focus on RNJR and WBY.

· Episodes 2, 5, & 8 would focus on Weiss.

· Episodes 3, 6, & 9 would be on Blake.

· Episodes 4, 7, & 10 would be on Yang.

· Some episodes would sprinkle in scenes of Salem’s Lot and Oscar.

This obviously messes up the flow of Volume 4, but at the same time, it would give everyone proper focus instead of randomly across the entire volume.

With the hype of Volume 4 reaching critical mass, it premieres on October of 2017 (remember, they delayed Volume 3 by a year to get the additional animators) and this is how Volume 4 would be tweaked…

Salem’s Arc

The first thing we see is Salem’s group celebrating their victory over Beacon while berating Cinder over getting injured. Salem destroys any vague wording she had given in the original and outright says that the method of which Cinder took her powers was considered unnatural and that she did not expect Ozpin to have a Silver-Eyed Warrior in his academy. Hopefully the audience can put two and two together that she’s talking about the Grimm-

[cue that clip of the audience reacting to the Volume 4 trailer and someone shouting “IT’S SUMMER!”]

… Salem explicitly points out that Cinder used the Grimm and that’s why she got fucked up by the Silver Eyes.

Most of these scenes stay as they are with the exception of Hazel being the new member of the group and thus be introduced to Watts and Tyrian, the latter of which being the one who saved Cinder last Volume. Hazel shows some remorse to the Fall of Beacon (to the point where he takes over Emerald saying “it’s almost sad” from last Volume) but when Salem says Ozpin was killed, he is relieved. At least something good came from the bloodshed.

Another change would be that Salem assigns Watts to Atlas instead of Haven. Her reasoning is that, with the CCT being down, she’d need to find a means to see what’s happening in Atlas. Watts understands and prepares a transport to Mantle, knowing he can hack into it with relative ease. When Hazel gets his assignment to talk with Sienna Khan, he asks if Tyrian would be a better choice, since… Y’know, Faunus. When Salem considers switching Tyrian’s job with Hazel’s (hunt the Silver-Eyed Warrior) Hazel and Tyrian instantly reject the offer. Hazel because he doesn’t want to hurt Ruby and Tyrian because he wants to hurt Ruby. Note that Salem doesn’t mention anything about the Spring Maiden. It’ll become apparent why in Tweaking Volume 5.

Also, I’d keep Salem’s motherly nature in this scene because that was always the nice contrast to Ozpin and considering how I dialed up the untrustworthiness of Oz, having Salem treat her minions like children instead of tools or assets would set up a huge contrast.

Cinder’s scenes are kept the same. At some point, I want to establish that the reason characters seemingly teleport all over the place is that it’s something Salem’s Seers can do. This would be done by placing multiple Seers across Remnant, which his why Watts is also going to Atlas, and then using one Seer to teleport to the other.

Oscar’s Arc

I like to thank Vexed Viewer’s video on how the creators screwed up introducing Oscar, since it gives me an easy means to avoid all the shit they did.

Oscar’s arc begins same as it does, but this time, his aunt (who we actually see) enters his room and asks if he’s okay. This has been the fifth night in a row where Oscar has had night terrors, almost centered around the exact same thing: the Fall of Beacon. Despite living so far away from Vale, he remembers the massacre vividly. More importantly, he remembers fire. Lots of it.

One of the episodes would end with focusing on him, only for a voice to pop up: “Hi! I’m Professor Ozpin!” That’s clearly more of an ending bit than a beginning bit.

Episode 6 and 7 would be where we see a good chunk of Oscar’s story unfold. Obviously, we have Ozpin trying to get Oscar to go to Haven, Oscar wants nothing of it. He has dinner with his aunt where, slowly, Ozpin takes over Oscar and forces him to go to Haven, convincing Oscar and his aunt that he always wanted adventure. Even without a body, Oz manages to find someway to ruin someone’s life to have his way.

Also, we don’t have him take the train. That’d be like if in Lord of the Rings, everyone was walking into Mordor and suddenly some 12-year-old kid flies in on the hawks. He’d be in actual walking distance from Haven. About an hour away. The encounter with Hazel stays the same, but Oscar has a slightly longer conversation with Hazel where he asks him if he’s ever been pressured to do something he doesn’t want to do. Hazel, having no idea about Ozpin’s reincarnation, tells him he has, but the reward would be to have peace of mind. This motivates Oscar to fully commit to going to Haven.

Also, skip the stinger because we’re going to use that for Volume 5.

Yang’s Arc

It’s mostly the same, but Port and Oobleck aren’t in the house since they’re dead. Also, Ironwood states in a letter that he apologizes for DQ’ing RWBY and that there’s no need to thank him for the arm so we can get rid of that meme.

There’s another plot detail, one that I’ll establish in Weiss’s arc, but the long story short of it is that the news plays footage of the ball where the Trophy Wife laughs about Vale lacking proper defenses, setting the already upset kingdom into fury, since those defenses were Atlas’s and as far as everyone knows, they were part of the problem. Taiyang is forced to go out and help quell the demands to go to war on Atlas.

Here’s how I’d structure it:

Episode 1 would have Yang adjusting to life without the arm. The simple montage of her doing chores which gets interrupted with Adam flashbacks.

Episode 4 has Taiyang giving her the prosthetic. She tries to wear it, only to have flashbacks of not only Adam, but injuring Mercury and Blake leaving her. She gets her signature hand trembles as she remembers the train from Volume 2, Gretchen’s death, and Raven telling her about Summer. It ends with her asking if she should really become a Huntress.

Episode 7 shows her watching the news when the Trophy Wife footage comes on and sees Weiss attacking her with a Boarbatusk. For the first time since arriving in Patch, she feels concern for her teammates. She knows that Ruby would be safe since she has Jaune and the others and Blake can die in a fire for all she cared. Taiyang comes home, tired and even battered a bit, having to stop some people from committing Atlasphobic attacks, which led to a Grimm attack. They have a chat about the state of Vale and Yang asks Taiyang why she even became a Huntress in the first place, to which Taiyang replies that she wanted to be like her mom, Summer. After she left and was presumed dead, Ruby had been menaced by a small bird Grimm (I’m going there) and Yang tried to fend it off. This was the spark that led to her being a Huntress. Yang, however, doesn’t buy the idea and goes to bed.

Episode 10 would bring the Atlasphobic attacks right to Yang’s home as the house is bombarded with people citing Taiyang as “Ironwood’s bootlicker” and “a droid sympathizer”. They want Taiyang’s head because if he’s not with them, he’s against them. The sad thing is that most of them are traumatized people who lost loved ones to the attacks. Yang wants nothing of it, but the moment the group grabs Taiyang and tries to string him up, her anger flares up, grabs the arm, and slaps it on her. She goes in and saves Taiyang from getting lynched but when it comes time to attack the crowd, she flinches and remembers attacking Mercury and recalling the words of doubt Blake casted in her head. She ejects the arm and, realizing she’s fighting people without awakened Auras, fights to knock them a few out before calling everyone out for letting fear control them. This obviously doesn’t instantly resolve the tensions with Atlas, but it does inspire Yang to return to being a Huntress.

Episode 11 has Taiyang, after healing up from the beating he got, talking to Yang about Raven. Because she knows about STRQ in this tweak, we don’t need to do the whole “oh, so now you talk about her” thing, but Yang does ask what Raven meant with Ozpin valuing Summer as a Pawn. Taiyang asks when she met Raven and notes that she would add that little detail. He then explains to her that Summer was special, just like Ruby, and that she was sent on special missions that none of the others were invited to. With Ozpin kicking Raven out, having favoritism placed on Summer and making Qrow his personal Huntsman, he slowly dismantled STRQ and Taiyang has quite a bit of upset over that. Realizing that this is what’s happening to RWBY, Yang decides to head to Haven…

Episode 12 has her using her motorbike, only to be stopped by a Huntress, Heather Shields, who asks for her help in tracking down a bunch of bandits. She isn’t interested until Heather says that their leader is possibly in league with the White Fang as they have a Grimm Mask. This piques Yang’s interest since this could either mean Raven or Adam.

The reason I added this subplot about Atlasphobic attacks is that I really didn’t want that ballroom scene to be in a bubble and I also wanted to emphasise the whole “angry at Atlas” thing.

Weiss’s Arc

Quite literally the same arc, but with a battle between Weiss and Jacques because he didn’t really have any earned comeuppance in Volume 7 and it’d be a better place for “This Life is Mine”’s rock version than battling giant bumblebees.

Episode 1 has Weiss more subdued than her earlier Volumes, showing her father’s leash is well on her neck. She is asked to visit her father, leading into episode 2, which has no actual changes outside of the reasoning for Ironwood’s embargo being more vaguely worded, since we want to illustrate that he’s going 1984 right now.

Episode 5 is Episodes 6 & 7 of the original mashed up into one episode. However, we get a shot of Watts recording the ball, then using the Seer to teleport to Vale and hand his recording to a local news outlet before moving to Mistral with the Seer.

Episode 8 is Weiss mastering her summon and sneaking out… Only to be caught by Jacques. Jacques is well aware that Weiss’s songs were nothing but hate speeches to him and he demands respect. Weiss refuses, telling him that he’s a poison on the family. Jacques remarks that she’d technically be poison too, since the Schnee children share his DNA. It soon leads to a battle in the Schnee manor where Jacques over relies on Dust as he isn’t a skilled fighter while Weiss over relies on her summon. As such, the two are evenly matched until Jacques runs out of Dust. Realizing that her fighting has become sloppy, she goes back to using her Glyphs and uses one to pin Jacques in place in a manner similar to how Watts pinned Ironwood in their V7 fight.

Episode 11 has her try to get on an airship before Ironwood stops her and tells her about the closures in place… Then assures her she has clearance to go, inquiring that she goes to investigate Winter’s findings on Haven. She jumps at the chance because she thinks Winter is there. Episode 12 is her on a private military aircraft with Pilot Boi.

Blake’s Arc

… Oh boy. You can tell why I saved this one for second last. Blake’s arc is by far the most infuriating of the arcs and really sets a bad standard for her. I remembered flipping her off when she said “we’re not going to fight the White Fang” when I was first watching Episode 11 because I had it up to here with her tomfoolery.

So, instead of making the battered abuse victim abuse Sun and chilling at her parents’ place as the rest of her team suffers while being stalked by someone who has a big lesbian crush on her, we’re gonna rehaul her entire arc.

Episode 1 has her secure passage on a boat. It’s not as grand as a liner in the original, but it’s not the rinkydink rowboat she was on in the comics. Rather, a simple cargo ship she had to bribe in order to get on. She has no clear goal in mind and when asked where she’s going, she says “nowhere. I just want to keep running.”

Episode 3 plays similarly to Runaways and Stowaways, but Sun stalking Blake is removed. If he wanted to be a good Samaritan, he shouldn’t dress up like some fucking cultist for no discernable reason other than “le bait and switch!” Instead, he’s there because SSSN need a lot of supplies and money to back to Haven and Sun is just doing his job as a security guard. He plays catch up with Blake whose moody nature causes a Grimm to attack them. The Grimm is defeated, but the ship has taken damage and must make a pitstop. When asked where it’s landing, the captain says “Menagerie” and this fills Blake with fear.

Episode 6 has Sun and Blake arrive on Menagerie, where it’s actually crowded this time. Failing that, the big problem is that they’re intolerant towards humans, since this is their turf. Obviously, the captain is met with tons of scrutiny and forces Blake to do the one thing she’s avoided her whole life: Talk to her mother.

I should explain something before we continue. In this tweaking, Ghira was killed by that group of people in Adam’s short. This explains the sudden shift between White Fang leaders and Adam’s words in Volume 3. In honor of Ghira leading a noble cause, Kali was given the title of Chieftain of the village I forgot the name of (Kua Kuana?) With her status, Kali could grant humans a temporary pass. And so, Blake reluctantly visits her and we get a touching reunion.

We also see Blake get introduced to the Albains, who in this tweaking aren’t telegraphing that they’re bad guys and are genuinely trying to get in Kali’s good graces. When Blake gives the Albains the business of the White Fang killing people, they state that they’re well aware, as they have Adam in custody and will sentence him to exile in the wilds of Menagerie where he’d most likely meet his end at the hands of monsters. Keen eared viewers would notice that Salem said that Adam was meeting Sienna Khan so… what gives? Well, that’s going to be explained in…

Episode 9 has Blake and Kali talk a bit about Ghira, we have that much needed talk, but instead of Sun busting it, it’s Fennec. He reports that Sun had been kidnapped by renegade White Fang members, but not saying that it was their members that kidnapped Sun. This causes Blake to give chase and goes to the outback where we get to see one of the vicious monsters Blake talked about instead of leaving it to the imagination or DC.

There, we see Sun and Blake were able to defeat it with moderate difficulty before they see Adam. The three fight, but as Blake’s trauma kicks in, Sun protects her and ends up knocking Adam senseless, revealing that it isn’t even Adam, but Ilia using a Semblance that makes her camouflage as other people (think Neo’s Semblance, but on a smaller scale). Blake and Sun are confused before Ilia knocks Sun out and retreats. I should also mention that in the battle, they also knock the scroll out of her.

Episode 11 has Blake explain to Sun why she ran (without her being a bitch about it) and Sun says why that reason’s bullshit. Kali and Corsac come in and they converse about how Adam is still out there. Kali shows plans for a raid on Haven and Corsac feigns condemnation of Adam’s actions. Blake then states that the White Fang has gone too far with its corruption and must be destroyed.

Episode 12 isn’t focused on Blake, but rather on Ilia, as she reports to the Albains and informs them on why she had to disguise herself as Adam. It’s here we find out that, yes, the Albains were in on Adam’s plans the whole time, but had to keep up appearances. They then explain that their goal is to try and prevent Menagerie from going to Mistral’s aid.

Ruby’s Arc

Finally, we get to RNJR. This is gonna be a long one since they’ll have all 12 episodes, even if they appear in only one scene. Let’s knock these out of the park by saying that Episodes 1 & 2 relatively stay the same, but episode 2 has them arrive in Shion just as Raven’s team attacks. This leads to a battle where Ruby battles her sister’s mom and doesn’t even know it. However, Ren sees the mask and freaks. Making matters worse is that the Nuckelavee appears and forces Raven to retreat. The group manages to hold off the Nuckelavee, but are unable to defeat it, leading them to run with a Huntsman following them, the same one that died in the original.

Episode 3 has Ruby talking to Ren about what the hell was up with his freak out but Ren refuses to talk and Nora isn’t helping matters. The huntsman introduces himself as Shiro Wan and says how he’s been assigned by Lionheart, the Headmaster, to investigate a recent string of bandit attacks. He then says that, if they can help him with the bandit, he can get a good word in to bring the group to Mistral. Ruby later confronts Jaune on his training with Pyrrha’s video as Jaune berates himself for letting Pyrrha die at Beacon, saying that if he was stronger, he would have helped her. We end the episode with him confiding in Ruby something: “Ozpin tortured Pyrrha…” That or he wants to kill Cinder.

Episode 4 reveals that Qrow is not only following them, but is talking to Raven about the Spring Maiden. Raven feigns ignorance, but her wording leads Qrow to confirm that she knows where the Spring Maiden is. Also, I want him to say this:

Qrow: If you don’t tell us, we’re all going to die.

Raven: And who’s this ‘we’ you’re referring to?

Qrow: EVERYONE, YOU DUMB FUCKING EDGELORD BITCH!

… I just want to do that.

Episodes 5, 6, and 7 are relatively the same, but Tyrian kills Shiro. Episode 8 has Jaune lay into Qrow about Pyrrha and Qrow tries to defend Oz by saying that Pyrrha chose, but Jaune brings up how he saw the contrary, even asking Qrow if they informed Pyrrha about Salem and the Relics, to which he sadly says no. Episode 9, 10, 11, and 12 are relatively the same as well, with only two exceptions. The first is that, in the flashback for Kuroyuri, we see that Ren makes friends with a ten-year-old girl before Raven and her bandits attack. Nora is also there and with her depression and the bandits, the Nuckelavee is let loose onto Kuroyuri, the ten-year-old last being seen with Raven and looking at the destruction with remorse. During the Nuckelavee fight, Ruby’s silver eyes act up, freezing the Nuckelavee in place for Ren to hand some final blows, rather than “hold arms down to win”.

The stinger isn’t really plot important, but reveals what will immediately happen in Volume 5 as Jaune, Nora, and Ren, with Pyrrha’s shield (if you’re gonna say she has extras, at least show she has extras), carry it over to a house and knock on the door… It’s clear what’s going on, but as the door opens, we cut to black. To be continued in Volume 5.

DVD Extra

I’d say four extra stories starring each member of Team RWBY. Maybe even adapting a story from the comics?

And that’s Volume 4… The next tweaking is going to be my final one and I’m gonna go out on a bang.

[xxsteveharringtonxx]

Lost Without You

Steve Harrington x Reader

(Lost without You - Freya Ridings)

Your friendship with Steve lasted a while, longer than you thought really. Three years ago you ran in on him and Dustin hunting for monsters, you were on a run down the tracks when you found them and curious to know what they were up to despite heir efforts to get rid of you, you stuck around. And then all that shit went down with the Russians last year and now you’ve taken a back seat to Robin.

She is a nice girl but she’s more suited to Steve’s personality than what you were. One night a few months ago you were more than a little drunk and admitted to Steve that you had feelings for him. You had done for the entirety of your friendship and just never had the balls to go for it but one Friday evening randomly and after probably a whole bottle of wine to yourself you blurted out everything. Initially you thought he felt the same you two had a good thing going but he left you sat by the side to Tammy’s pool and hasn’t spoken to you since.

Locking your car you walked round to the front and sat on your bonnet, you found a good spot that looked over pretty much the whole of Hawkins. You’d been with Steve a few times to clear your heads and you hadn’t been here for a while so to get rid of all thoughts spinning around you sat out in the summer heat and just watched Hawkins exist. You felt like a small part of you was lost when Steve just disappeared from your life, really you lost a part of you when you first fought off a demo-dog and fear replaced an innocence to the world you once had.

It was hard to remember who you were before everything happened, you were 16 and happy and carefree. Now you’re 19, too scared to leave everyone behind in Hawkins and always looking over your shoulder. Hearing another car behind you pull up you focused more on the trees moving to the soft breeze.

“Thought I’d find you here.” The voice made your heart beat faster in your chest and all thoughts in your head stop. Turning you looked at him confused and he sighed walking towards you.

“I’ve been looking all over for you.” He said joining you on your car.

“Why?” You asked even more confused as your frown deepens and then your heart leaped out of your chest.

“Has something happened is it back?!” You frantically asked making him shake his head and reach out, he hated how scared you always were. He always knew you as the girl a year younger who loved to have fun and would always have a smile firmly on her face.

“No. No nothings happened I just- I need to talk to you.” With a heavy sigh he looked away from you over to the town in front of him.

“Talk to me about what? It’s been four months Steve, there’s nothing to talk about.” You told him as you also looked away from his side profile to look at Hawkins.

“You’re wrong there’s a lot to talk about. I shouldn’t have left you like that, I’m an asshole but I need to tell you why and I think I only realised why when I saw you last night. I saw you walking past the school and I felt a rush I felt when we were younger. I haven’t felt like that in years and so when you told me you felt it too I pushed you away. You deserve so much better than me, I’m not going to college and I work in that stupid video store. I can’t give you the world, I can give you half of what you deserve and I know that so I’d rather you just hate me now that later.” You laughed at his words making him look at you sharply.

“Steve, you’ve saved my life. We killed monsters together and I’ve seen you become who you are and I wouldn’t love you if I hadn’t of seen that. I don’t care that you work in the video store, I care that when I was having panic attacks about those things you were there in a second. I care that when Dustin couldn’t sleep you stayed up all night with him talking about anything but the inter dimensional monsters that scared the freaking life out of him. I care you that you are the most thoughtful, caring and generous guy I’ve ever met. But you’re also fucking selfish and you’re scared of whatever we had so you ran, out of everything we’ve seen you were scared of me.” Your words stung because you were right.

“You’re right, I am selfish and I selfish enough to sit here and beg you for a second chance. I am so lost without you, I wake up everyday and I just wish I could tell you what I did the day before or I could come here with you and talk about anything we wanted. I am selfish I know I am but I need to be to get you to be with me.” His words shocked you and you looked at him to see if he was serious.

“Steve..” you said with a heavy sigh.

“Please, please Y/N I need you in my life and these last four months have been hell. We were better together and we always will be. Y/N I love you.” He grabbed your hands as tears filled your eyes.

“Why couldn’t you have said this months ago?! Why would you let me feel like I was nothing?!” You expressed before he just slammed his lips onto yours in blazing passion.

Pulling away you looked at each other deeply.

“I love you too, but don’t break my heart. If you’re scared or freaked out tell me. We can work it out.” You begged making him nod and kiss you all over your face making you giggle.

“I promise, I won’t ever leave you again.” Kissing you once more you smiled into the kiss.

[makeste]

BnHA Episode 39: It’s Freestyle

Previously on BnHA: Pretty sure this takes place just after the whole “Deku goes to the shopping mall with his pals! WHAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN -- oh. Oh, no” incident. Deku, Shigaraki is coming. OH MY GOD HE HAS AIRPODS ON. HE CAN’T HEAR US. OH MY GOD.

But of course it all turned out fine and Tomura skipped back home to plot how to destroy All Might by something something kidnapping Bakugou.

Today on BnHA: 

It snowed, and I went home from work early. So I turned on The Pool Episode of the BnHA anime because WHY NOT. 

Just FYI, I’ve only watched this once before, several months back, and don’t remember too much of it except that everyone has a very loose concept of what freestyle swimming is, and that I very much enjoyed it.

This recap will be manga spoiler-free since we want everyone to be able to have a fun time! So as long as you’re all caught up with the anime you should be good to go. I think I made a few references to the forest lodge arc but that’s it.

okay so the episode opens up in the ol’ villain bar (man I miss this place), with some All Might TV special playing, until Kurogiri switches it off

and now he’s turning to Tomura and they’re just like. staring at each other

and now Tomura is grinning and saying “I figured it out”

again, if you recall, he’s just had the epiphany that his purpose in life is to fuck up the Symbol of Peace in whatever way he can. so he’s pretty happy. I think it was Mark Twain who said, “the two most important days of your life are the day you were born, and the day you go to the mall and realize you just want to make All Might really sad”

so he’s recapping that the reason why Stain and the U.A. Wunderkinds piss him off so much is because of All Might, and All Might pisses him off because he’s always smiling “so thoughtlessly”

and now he’s running off somewhere. probably to plan the kidnapping

alone again, huh Kurogiri

he’s so cute lol

he’s looking at the photo of Izuku that Tomura conveniently left sitting on the counter, and mentally summarizing who Izuku is and what his most notable accomplishments are. because this is lowkey a clip show filler episode to ease people into the anime’s third season. but it’s pretty well done though

and now we’re cutting to Deku’s apartment, and he’s narrating about how they’ve finished their first semester at U.A. and have now started their summer vacation!

au contraire, Deku. this episode begs to differ

so he’s continuing his workouts to prepare for the upcoming training camp

I’m sure that camp is going to go great, by the way

and now we’re getting a flashback to that video of All Might rescuing people. the one that baby Deku loved so much

and he’s thinking about how All Might gave him his power. you know. just to remind anyone who’s only just now tuning in, for whatever reason. and they’re like “what is this weird show and who is this green-haired person who gives me weird Tsuna vibes”

and then the doorbell rings, cutting into his reverie!

and LOOK WHO IT IS

how do you guys know where Deku lives. and you do know that Bakugou also lives just like the next block over, yes? I mean. since you’re here and all

no one would ever do this, by the way. wear a long-sleeved black button-down shirt in Tokyo in August, I mean. but also, no one would just randomly visit someone’s house just to ring the doorbell and invite them to go someplace when they could have just texted them instead

but that is indeed what they are doing! they have come to invite Deku to go with them to the school pool! for training. wink

and now we’re cutting to Vlad and Aizawa as they plan the training camp

but before that, Vlad has a favor he’d like to ask Aizawa

“all twenty of them. in detail. but also, like, don’t take too long, though. just maybe kind of summarize it and give me a presentation that’s roughly, let’s say, about two minutes long”

and Aizawa just agrees. just rolls with it with no hesitation at all

and starts rattling off his students in alphabetical order

meanwhile my mind starts wandering and I start to wonder if Horikoshi intentionally planned it so that Izuku would come directly after Katsuki in an alphabetical list of the class 1-A kids. or if that was just a coincidence. he puts so much thought into the names that I wonder if he rejected any last names that started with an H or a P or a B just so he could do this

anyway now Aizawa is done. it actually took two and a half minutes

obviously there’s no time for that, Aizawa!!

lol and he’s interrupted by Deku, Kami, and Mineta barging in and asking if their request to use the pool was approved

you mean to tell me you guys dragged Deku all the way here and you didn’t even know if it was okayed or not

thankfully, Aizawa says that the school did indeed approve them to use the pool until 5pm

[shifty eyes] yep. endurance training. you know us. fuckin’ love to endure. and train. yessirree

there is no way he actually bought that even for a second, right?

but anyways, he’s telling them to do their best

he probably doesn’t actually care. or he just bought it because Deku was there, which of course was Kami and Mineta’s plan the whole time

and now we’re cutting to the pool, and sweet, innocent Deku genuinely believes they’ve really come here to train. “what a great idea, Mineta!”

he’s also excited because since they’re at school they can also use their quirks

which yeah, I forgot that would normally be forbidden at the ocean or at a municipal pool or whatever. for reasons which will later become apparent in this very episode

anyways, so Kami and Mineta are all, “[shifty eyes] [snrrk] that’s right! PLUS ULTRA”

I fucking love how Deku is just the ultimate rube here

meanwhile Kaminari is telepathically communicating to Mineta that inviting “the diligent Midoriya” was a good call. he really does lend legitimacy to the whole operation

Mineta is telepathically communicating back that if it had just been the two of them, they might not have gotten permission

wow they’re actually having a whole damn conversation in this manner

so now Kaminari (still via telepathy) is asking “by the way, there’s no problem with that, is there?” and Mineta is all “nah I overheard all the girls saying they were gonna meet up at the school pool over the summer break”

except he doesn’t get to the point right away, and we actually see a cute flashback scene with the girls all talking about how the school said they were supposed to refrain from taking any long trips over the summer

meaning that poor Momo had to cancel her vacation plans

sorry Momo, instead you’re just going to have to settle for being attacked by a monster with chainsaw hands, and saving Bakugou’s life. when life gives you lemons

and then they go on to plan the meetup at the pool

and there’s a scene of Mineta and Kaminari fantasizing about the girls in their cute swimsuits. but it’s tainted by Mineta’s perverted aura

and now the two of them are running down the hall heading for their paradise

ONLY TO FIND

oh right, this was the episode when I realized that Iida Tenya and Ryuugazaki Rei = maybe the same person?? I don’t know, what do you guys think. it’s just a theory

anyway so all these cuties are also here

hey hey hey indeed

because it’s The Pool Episode, Mineta. listen, we’re going to see Todoroki without a shirt. whether you like it or not

Deku says that since they were doing endurance training, he messaged everyone to see if they wanted to come

doin’ god’s work there, Deku

and like, we already knew this, guys, but Iida Tenya is fucking ripped. like, he is built. he is SOLID

I’m just saying

now Kaminari is clutching a fist woefully and saying that Deku is too diligent

but Mineta is telling him to calm down and that the girls are still here too

and they are!

hey ladies

anyway so Kaminari is annoyed that they’re not wearing bikinis, but it’s still good enough for Mineta

I don’t know why I’m detailing their antics, but I mean they are responsible for getting us here in their own roundabout way, so

anyway, now this towering Muscle God is coming up to them and congratulating them

it’s like his arms are made of Cotati metal fibers

and now he’s cheerfully lugging them off to come exercise with them

oh wow we’re doing the commercial break thing. so we’re already halfway through the episode. how bout that

so the girls are splashing around with a beach ball and having a blast, and it’s very cute

meanwhile the boys are taking a 15-minute break, and Kami and Mineta are lying on the ground already exhausted

and Iida is opening up a cooler full of orange juice

Kami is bitterly asking why Mineta applied to use the pool for endurance training when they could have gotten permission to use it for sunbathing like the girls did

meanwhile poor Aoyama is shivering and clutching his stomach, having apparently overworked himself

so my takeaway from this though is that his navel laser is waterproof. technology is so cool

Iida’s walking over to Deku and handing him a drink, and now Iida is getting all reflective on how far their friendship has come

which is of course a means of segueing to more flashbacks (of the U.A. entrance exam, and their first battle training exercise at Ground Beta)

and then at the end of all that reminiscing, Kacchan decides to make his grand entrance!

and of course since this is a filler, full Flanderization is in effect, and he’s pretty much immediately establishing his personality as Hates Everyone But Especially Deku by stomping over towards Deku like he wants to fight him for basically no reason

but thankfully this guy’s here too

and of course, Kiri’s own Flanderized personality is basically just The Bakugou Whisperer

Bakugou is all “HEY SHITTY DEKU YOU WANNA SETTLE OUR SCORE RIGHT NOW” lmao

and Deku is all “eh heh, no thanks”

BUT!

Iida Tenya has other ideas!

and now he’s raising his hand high into the air and loudly asking if the other guys want to see which one of them can swim 50 meters the fastest

yesssss Iida. somebody realizes he’s in a filler episode! time to get our pointless competition on!!

and now the music is picking up and the other guys are like “YEAH! THAT’S A GOOD IDEA!”

and the girls are volunteering to help as well! because Momo also realizes she’s in a filler!

Ojiro does not realize he’s in a filler, apparently, if he’s asking a stupid question like this

no, Ojiro, you’re just going to spend the rest of the episode swimming like normal people. pssh. as if. who tf would watch a whole anime just about a bunch of hot guys swimming. who would watch three whole seasons of that. who would watch three seasons and four movies of that. god, Ojiro

anyway, Iida is like, yes, duh, quirks

Bakugou is grinning and stomping over to Deku and he’s all “I’LL CRUSH YOU, DEKU.” because you know Bakugou. all day long, he’s just, “gotta crush that Deku!” all day erryday

oh wait, and we can’t forget about that other guy too

“why am I involved in this, I was just sitting here quietly”

so now that we’ve established how Bakugou wants to crush everyone, we’re cutting to our first race!

and it’s Mineta, Tokoyami, Kouda, Bakugou, and Kaminari

Momo’s telling them to take their marks

and of course, as soon as she blows her whistle, Bakugou activates his quirk and just blasts off to the other side

Kiri and Sero are all WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘HOW WAS THAT’, YOU DIDN’T EVEN SWIM

and Bakugou is all

which is honestly the best joke of the entire episode ngl

so then next are Satou, Kirishima, Sero, Aoyama, and Todoroki

and given what we just saw from Bakugou, it’s pretty obvious what’s about to happen here

thank you filler gods

and then Iida, Deku, Ojiro, and Shouji

and by this point you have to figure that Shouji and Ojiro already know they’re screwed

amazingly, even though Iida activates Recipro, Deku still somehow beats him to the other side. we’ll all agree this is blatantly impossible and that Iida for whatever reason just let him win. Iida would have already been at the other side of the pool before Deku could even fucking say the words “full cowl”

and now Todoroki is watching Deku help Iida out of the pool, and he’s flashing back to the sports festival when Deku broke all of his fingers in the name of love and friendship

lol and Iida’s flashing back to all that Hero Killer arc stuff

it’s so dramatic. you’re at the fucking pool guys. calm the fuck down

then for some reason we briefly cut over to the police station where Naomasa is showing All Might a slideshow of stuff that he already knows, and summing up the rest of the League of Villains’ activities up to this point

and now we’re back at the pool where the three main char -- I mean, the winners of the previous three heats, Deku, Bakugou, and Todoroki, are going to race each other for first place

and Bakugou’s telling Todo not to hold back like he did at the sports festival! and Deku too!

and they’re all lining up! and their squads are cheering them on!

baby~ this is what you came for~

and Iida blows the whistle, and they all leap into the air -- !

BUT THEN

oh my god I forgot about this part

I’m laughing so hard

and everyone is all WHAAAA

and Sero is holding up his hands in confusion and he’s all “their quirks were erased?”, as though it’s a complete and utter mystery how something like that could ever possibly happen!

and then this mofo walks in announcing that it’s now 5pm

and he’s telling them all to go home

they’re starting to argue with him that they just got to the good part

but Aizawa is all

and they’re all “LOL NOPE”

so then we cut to Bakugou and Kirishima walking home, and Bakugou is complaining about how Aizawa stopped the race

and he’s thinking that he won’t lose to Todoroki and Deku

and meanwhile Deku is standing on Dagobah beach, and All Might walks up to him

and there are a few more quick flashbacks about One for All being passed down to Deku, blah blah blah

and then All Might is all “Midoriya-shounen, the training camp will be tough,” which may just be the most hilarious understatement of all time

and that’s it! that’s the episode!

I gotta say, even with it basically being just an excuse for flashbacks, I still enjoyed this ep even on the second go-around. this should be a template for all future BnHA anime filler. just have all the class 1-A kids hanging around doing stupid stuff. that’s it. I’m easy to please lol

[weaselle]

I put them both in one post.

I have a brother 10 years older than me and a younger brother and sister 5 and 7 years younger than me respectively. I call the older by his name, and also “dude” a lot. You know those twisty metal puzzles you have to figure out how to take apart or put back together, like puzzle rings and shit? He can do those in seconds without even thinking about it, like, idly while talking to you. He’s a daredevil bombs and blades tinkerer, and a practical joker. Once he told me he was getting out of the lake because it was noon and that’s when the sun shone straight down to the bottom and woke IT up, and then got out and snuck halfway around the lake to climb back in and swim up from underneath me to wrap a hand around my ankle and suddenly yank me down about ten feet at an angle toward the center of the lake. He went to jail for building a bomb, it’s a good thing they never found his other homemade weapons, like arrows with exploding tips, or the underslung potato gun mounted to the frame of his car. And I SAY potato gun but I saw him use his tester model to launch a wad of duct tape through a truck camper shell at the junk yard in the R&D phase, and he use to load it with a wad of something for batting topped by a snapple cap and a handfull of roofing nails and disintegrate mail boxes with it. He is a good wood sculptor and has a surprisingly delicate yet raw style when drawing with charcoal or graphite. He can take apart and put together almost anything. I could just write a whole book about his antics.

With my younger brother it’s mostly his name and “dude” quite often. Every once in a while, I will call him bro, or brother, but usually when I am low-key reinforcing our age difference. Like if he thought mom would react one way to something, but I had seen her reaction to that same thing before he was born or whatever, like, brother, I’ve known her longer. He is one of two people I know personally who may be legit geniuses. He used to play video games in the early 90′s by hacking their code and modding them - I’d walk in and he’d be 12 years old like “Instead of cannon balls, I made the cannon shoot cows that bounce around randomly a few times and explode, and I’m trying to make it so that each time a cow bounces, it spawns another bouncing cow bomb”. He has a… I want to say a Masters in Physics. His math teacher in high school tried to hold his interest by having him teach the first 15 minutes of each class. Once when the rest of us siblings were all standing around talking about sneaking out of the house, we asked if he ever did and he was like “why would I sneak out in the middle of the night… that’s when I sleep.” Now he’s a very mellow polyamorous hacker who brews his own beer and “isn’t allowed to tell you where I work, it’s so silly”

Our youngest I call by her name, and dude a fair amount, and a combination of the word sister and her name (like if her name was Brittany I would call her Sisttany) I do call her sister more than I use brother for my fraternals, but she calls us all brother quite a bit.  I think there are some complex reasons for that, but it boils down to her having been teased terribly and given a very hard time growing up by us, her brothers, who had a certain alliance against her. Of course by now we’re forced to admit that she is awesome and special and maybe the best of all of us. Certainly the coolest. Like, my younger brother is hella cool on paper, but when you’re in a room with him, he’s a little.. the only way he pulls it off is by truly not giving a fuck if people think he’s cool, which, as we all know, instantly awards coolness to whatever you’ve got going. On the other hand, when my sister is in a room, people laugh when she decides something is funny. Someone else is often making the decisions, but everyone only agrees to go along with them if sheagrees with them. She’s not wearing those clothes because they are cool, those clothes are cool because she’s wearing them, Once she worked at the same hotel I did for a while, and I asked her what she thought of it, and she said “I only ever want to work in a hotel again if I OWN it”. She was 19. She once knocked out her (now ex) boyfriend for forcefully taking his car keys away from her too roughly when he’d been drinking. He realized what he’d done too late to save him and she pulled him down from the fence he was climbing to get away from her so she could lay him out. She ran her own business for a while doing marketing stuff for publications and wineries and things, but she felt she was working too hard for the return she was seeing, and now she works for some firm overseeing the people who manage their social media or something.

And then there’s me, the Bard of the group, basically. I travel around on lots of adventures (I was arrested by the US airforce in Germany, I got stuck in England for a summer when they took my passport away from me at Heathrow - I stayed at a circus school with a few of the circus students who had no real home to go back to for the summer, and I put together a circus busking group with some of them and that’s how I made enough money to eat every day.) I used to write and produce full length comedies for the stage. I was SO sure I was going to be a con-artist, so I studied slight of hand and magic ( I ran a crooked poker game at recess) but as a young adult, when I picked my first pocket, I found I had no taste for stealing from real people (I’ll fuck up Coke any day, where’s Amazon’s pocket? Side note: I tapped the guy on his shoulder and handed his wallet back to him and said “I think you dropped this” and never picked a pocket again, but I can still do some pretty interesting stuff with cards and coins and things, Juggle knives and torches. that sort of stuff). Anyway, I adventure, and I write songs and stories, and my siblings mostly call me by my name, and very occasionally, dude. Also, my origins are steeped in mystery and my siblings are actually my cousins by blood, but that’s another story. Okay, here is that story.

My Grandmother was left-handed and the reason I love cooking and definitely some kind of Being. Her title was The Grandma. She had 4 great grandchildren by the time she died, and so her daughters became Grandma, but she was THE Grandma. She had this way about her, like she was incredibly present, but also paying attention to everything in the whole world. And then sometimes (notably when you fucked up) it was like she pulled her attention off all those things and put the whole thing on you; it was very unsettling. And she had the Voice, which she almost never used.

The last time Grandma traveled on an airplane with us, we were going though security and she couldn’t go through the metal detectors because by then she couldn’t get out of the wheelchair for longer than twenty seconds at a time. The TSA agent said she was going to search her or pat her down instead, and reached for my Grandmother. And Grandmother said, in the Voice

“Don’t touch The Grandma”

The TSA agent blinked and looked at grandma’s eldest daughter (a celtic witch if ever there was one) who merely shrugged and said “…don’t touch the grandma”.

TSAgent hesitated as if about to reach forward and insist, thought better of it, called TSA Supervisor over. TSA Supervisor explained everything to The Grandma - it’s just a quick pat-down, everybody who can’t go through the detectors has it done, they won’t even ask her to stand - and then reached forward to pat down my grandmother

“Don’t. Touch. The Grandma”

TSA Supervisor’s hands stopped as if hitting glass. She looked confusedly back and forth between the TSA agent and my grandmother for a second, and then the confusion left her face and she stepped aside, looked at the TSA agent and said “Don’t touch the Grandma” and waived us through security. They didn’t even scan the rest of us

It’s a shame she couldn’t fly anymore after that, she loved to fly; when her first husband died, she married P, a WW2 B52 crewman who taught her to pilot small planes, and they would fly up and down the coast to any cities they wanted to visit - she knew the West Coast in a way few people do.

One morning in the deserts of Nevada a year after P’s death she woke me up and said “get dressed, were going to into town to the casino; P visited me in a dream last night and told me I’d win a video poker jackpot with a royal flush today” and we drove into town so she could spend fifteen minutes playing video poker. I say fifteen minutes, because after fifteen minutes she hit her jackpot with a royal flush in hearts, and we went back home.

She used to sit in her chair in her living room with her back to the kitchen wall, and I’d go to leave the kitchen and I’d hear her from the other room “don’t you leave my kitchen mat like that” and I’d look over my shoulder at the mat in front of the sink, and sure enough, it would be all rumpled up; sorry grandma.

Grandma and I shared a birthmark, a red stain I won’t describe fully. And my grandmother and I were both adopted. Let me explain.

My Grandmother was adopted by a nice family.

And then that family all died, and she was adopted AGAIN.

She grew up and married a man whose Irish father I am named after: K, who came here from Ireland to work the Alaskan gold rush. She and her husband lived with his father K for a while, and this is a story about that:

Every Sunday. great grandpa K would go off on his own for a couple hours to “walk in the woods”. Grandma followed him one day. K walked into the woods, packed a pipe, sat down with his back to a tree, and took a small handful of nuts and seeds and fruits and leaves out of his shirt pocket. He scattered them around. Soon, as if expecting him, several animals came and helped themselves. The squirrels climbed all over him, on his head even. The raccoons sat in his lap. The birds sat on his knees and shoulders and in his beard and peered into his face. The deer checked his jacket for more snacks. After they hung out for about an hour, they all went on their way. Then K smoked his pipe and went home.

Grandma and K’s son had 5 kids.

One died as a child.

The eldest became an ER nurse and a savant witch. She would never admit she is a witch, but there’s a horseshoe over her door (not the front door, mind you, but the door she actually uses) and she’s the one who taught me to always leave a single spider in your house when you clean. She has a natural way with plants and animals -  the deer eat everything but her herb garden, which isn’t even fenced. This year one of them stayed in her backyard for nearly two months raising twins to be big enough to take back to the herd. She recognizes the individual squirrels and birds in her yard and knows their personalities and habits and things about their families. And of course as an ER and ICU nurse, she’s a hell of a healer.

The youngest was a witch, but sadly neglected, remained immature. Still, she had talents. She could fool people and make them laugh as easy as breathing, like some kind of glamour. Every long line of strangers she ever waited in became a party among friends. Could literally smell if you were lying to her. As in, she’d lean close and take a couple deep sniffs and then be like “Nope. Tell me, where did you really go after school?”

The only brother became a wandering holy man of sorts. Used to hitch-hike around the country in robes and junk, with a small, like, cult; then he quit them to just grow his own holy experience. He died in his 30s.

And the middle sister was my mother. She was double jointed and very dyslexic, and everyone says she was incredibly gifted in many ways. She did intricate artwork in ink, fractal gardens and faux woodgrain that was made of salvador dali faces, stuff like that. She was self taught on the piano, used to just walk up to a piano and play songs she made up on the spot that sounded how she was feeling and little crowds would gather. Made her own exercise equipment. Could pick up an accent within minutes and become semi-conversational in days. She had me with a half Japanese guy in the Air Force (he didn’t stick around). Then when I was about three, she sent me to live with her eldest sister, because her life got too, ah, interesting. Like, her partner had a hit put out on them. It wasn’t safe for me. By the time I was six it all caught up with her, and she died in an accident when she jumped out of the passenger side of a car and tried to run away as it stopped at a red light.

That’s when her eldest sister adopted me. The paperwork was messed up and my name is different on my birth certificate, my SS card, and my ID. Then, the person who filled out the “messed up” paperwork was fired, but I’m still a mystery to the bureaucratic world.  

So here I am, same birthmark as my psychic grandmother, orphaned son of a savant creative criminal and a Japanese-American soldier, named after my Irish, gold hoarding, bearded, pipe-smoking beastmaster great-grandsire; raised by a celtic witch, hidden away from the official world. Sometimes I feel like all those hero origin stories are trying to call me out of hiding. More about my adventures soon.

[radramblog]

Album Discussion: ANThology (or: A return to my roots)

Those who have been with this blog for the long haul, or who’ve scrolled down all the way to the first couple posts, may recall that there is exactly one “album discussion” that existed before the daily postings you now know and love. That was the original intent for Me Blogging Online: to do weekly reviews of albums I had on CD. Like, if I got one done a week, it’d only take….four years… to get through all of them. Of course, the only one that actually got uploaded was for Hard-Fi’s Stars of CCTV, which is still a pretty good album.

That is not the first one I wrote, however. The first I wrote is a post that never made it beyond my own eyes. Actually I think I sent it to like one person, but it wasn’t in a completed form. I don’t have convenient access to that review anymore- I’m certain I only saved it as a sticky note on a laptop that may or may not still work- but I sure do have access to the album.

The fact that I haven’t listened to it since might indicate how I feel about it. Because this week, we’re getting a blast from the past in more ways than one- it’s Alien Ant Farm’s ANThology.

God help us all.

I will give AAF credit for one thing- naming the first album Greatest Hits and second one Anthology is exactly the meta shit I like when it comes to album names. I’ve said for a while that if I was ever a musician, I’d name my first album “Self-titled Debut” and the second “Underwhelming Followup”. When I was younger and disliked electronic music as a whole (because I was an edgy teenager) I also thought having an electronic instrumental named “Oxymoron” would be quite funny.

I wouldn’t expect much more praise for them, I’m afraid. Because this album is painfully mediocre early 00s nu-metal, and this is coming from someone who likes that stuff. Our first track, Courage, feels like an offcut from a mid-level Limp Bizkit album- the instrumental is fine, but nothing outstanding, and…look, I don’t know if Dryden Mitchell is a nice guy in real life or not, but it’s kind of hard not to come for his ass here. Because he’s really not a great vocalist. A lot of nu-metal was kind of about being ugly and whiny, and my mans just doesn’t hit either angle. Too clean for the genre but not good enough to succeed despite that.

Our second track on the album is Movies, one of its three singles and by far AAF’s second most popular song. Don’t worry, we’ll get to the first one. This song feels much more like something you would hear on the radio back in the day- a cleaner version of the kind of sound these bands were known for, that’s acceptable enough for pop/hit stations to play. Because that was relevant in 2001, and I mean that without sarcasm. Honestly, I remember being kinda harsh on this song when I last listened to the album, but it’s mostly just…inoffensive. The lyrics are romantic in a painfully cheesy way, and the performance and instrumental are both functional at the level of a 00s rock track. It’s just…really forgettable. Its blandness is kind of its downfall, I’m afraid.

Speaking of blandness, I kinda have to skip the next few tracks. Because there is just so little to take from them. Flesh and Bone (Track 3) is at least trying to do something a bit more interesting in the instrumentation in the verses, with this staggered, staccato bit which isn’t bad, but lets it all go in the verse/bridge. Much like Courage felt like an unreleased LB track, Whisper (Track 4) has a bit of a Deftones vibe, but it just makes me want to listen to Around the Fur again Or just loop My Own Summer, because that song fucks, much unlike this album’s 5th track, Summer. And I have actual nothing to say about Sticks and Stones (Track 6). I always feel bad when I’m jumping through songs like this, but this is a genre I actively like, and yet these songs still manage to blend together into a generic sludge.

So we’re going to reach the second single, Attitude. I actually really like the guitar melody this song opens up on, and the way it cuts back into just drums to begin the first verse. Genuinely, the instrumentation on this song is simple, trying to suit the more low-mood of the track, and it actually works. Unfortunately, considering it’s trying to be a more lyrics-driven, emotional track, this is where Dryden’s delivery really lets the whole thing down. If you don’t mind me ruining this entire album: he does a thing where he ends a lot of lines with a little “-ah”, and it’s really noticeable in this track’s chorus. And it gets extremely grating when you notice it. I’d genuinely like to hear a cover of this song, because I do think the non-vocal aspects are solid (well maybe the lyrics are a bit shite), but as it is, I can’t say I give this one a pass.

My plan was to cut ahead to the third and final single on this album, but there’s another song on here that randomly has more listens than Attitude despite not being a single- Track 9, Wish. You weren’t missing much on Track 8. Wish is at least an excuse to say another nice thing about this album and band- they’re clearly trying to do a bunch of different things within the space of the album. The guitarwork on Wish’s verses has that chugging tone reminiscent of System of a Down, and the track as a whole is definitely one of the better ones. The…bridge? I think? Is kind of godawful, though, if I’m honest. This is a track that I think needed a couple extra passes, and could have been great if it got them, but as it is is just kind of eh.

So all of this begs the question. Why the fuck am I talking about this album? I mean, it’s because it’s the first album I really ever wrote about, but beyond that- why did I write about it all that time ago? I think it actually might have been two years ago, when I decided to do that, and since then I’ve learned a lot about how I like to write about music, what music I like to write about, et cetera. But when I first started, I didn’t have a fucking clue what I was doing, I was basically doing things on a whim. So why this album? Why Anthology?

Well, that’s because of Track 12, which I guarantee you’ve heard before. And if you haven’t, then I’m so, so fucking glad I get to introduce you to this.

That’s right, these guys are the ones who did the Smooth Criminal cover. And they own that shit. It’s the most popular song they’ve ever done by an order of magnitude, two orders more popular than the album as a whole, and the one-hit-wonder that brought them up and brought them low.

The difference between this cover and the rest of the album is utterly jarring. Smooth Criminal was always a very good, very funky song, but this translation has such an incredible bouncy energy that it’s hard not to get into it. And I can tell you right now that nothing else on the album sounds like this. It’s kind of surprising- like you’d think a band’s one cover would be roughly in the same style as the rest of their work, but while this is undoubtedly a Nu Metal Smooth Criminal, it just has a power and swagger about it that would have been lovely to see for the rest of it.

I guarantee if you’ve heard of this band it’s because of this cover. It’s how I knew about them. If you want a more big-brain analysis of the whole thing, probably check out Todd in the Shadows’s video about the track, because it’s better researched and more nuanced from someone with more music knowledge than I. But what I can tell you is that it’s clearly the best track on the album, and it’s not particularly close.

And that’s the album. Well, no it isn’t, there’s still Universe and the bonus track, one of the few I can remember where Spotify doesn’t just separate it out from the last song. Universe is actually pretty okay, surprisingly grim-sounding which I do like, and the hidden song (“Orange Appeal”) kinda sounds like a remix of something from the Left 4 Dead 2 soundtrack. But It might as well be the end of the album. Like, Smooth Criminal is why we’re all here, right? I suppose putting it so close to the end was a good move to make people actually listen to the album, but you do risk people zoning out through the album’s dregs.

Anthology is kind of the ur-example of a one hit wonder band’s album that…kind of deserved it. A lot of the time, you find a one hit wonder, and it’s like dang, they’ve actually got some really good stuff that deserves time in the spotlight (e.g. The Veronicas, The Raconteurs arguably Franz Ferdinand), but Alien Ant Farm…kind of aren’t one of them, based on this. I think it is extremely telling that the most recent output by the band- a 2020 single that’s the first new music from them since a 2015 album that isn’t even on Spotify- is another cover, of Wham!’s Everything She Wants. It’s decent? Like, better than most of Anthology easily.

The long and short is, you can probably miss this album completely with the exception of Smooth Criminal and be completely fine. Even if you are into this genre, you can probably miss it, unless you’re really hunting for new material. It’s a forgettable album, unfortunately, which isn’t great when it contains your one hit track.

And yet I think this is still less harsh than I was the last time I wrote about this record. I remember jumping around a lot more, and going in way harder on the vocals. I remember slagging off the actual album cover and lyrics booklet (it’s real bad!), because the idea was I was talking about the whole CD package as well as the music. But I also remember not having as much to compliment, so I suppose maybe I’ve matured a bit. I’d like to think that. Maybe at some point I’ll try and dig up the old original ramble, but for now, I’m happy for this to be my final word on Alien Ant Farm.

[dumbfinntales]

I’ve finally done it. I’ve finished Assassins Creed: Origins. It took me so bloody long to finish it because I insisted on doing a lot of side content (and holy fuck there’s a lot of it) and the DLC’s. I finished the last DLC just today, and I feel like I’m done with this game. Much like with the Witcher 3 the game lasted long. But for some reason it didn’t feel like a sweet adventure that came to it’s end. AC: Origins is a good game, but it lacks something that makes it special. Perhaps the characters and the story?

Let me start off by saying that the first thing I noticed when playing this game was the movement. It’s so smooth and traversing the world feels good. Climbing on things feels good. The climbing and parkour mechanics are extremely simple, but they just feel real nice. Sometimes it gets wonky and Bayek just sits there without moving or he starts climbing over shit as I try to loot, but most of the time it feels buttery smooth. There’s a mountain in the way of your objective? Just climb over it, man. Much like in the Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild, but a bit faster.

The new combat is also mmmm, pretty good. The combat was really the only reason why I even gave this game a chance. I never cared for Assassins Creed before this game, because honestly, I thought the previous games looked dull. It’s pretty unfair to say that about a video game franchise with multiple entries, but I won’t sugarcoat my words. I genuinely do not care for the other games. I only ever played the first AC and it bored me to tears. Back to the combat, it’s obviously somewhat inspired by dark souls. They even use R1 and R2 for attacking. You don’t need to stealth in this game, although the stealth method makes fights easier. The combat also has a very satisfying feel to it and it’s just real fun to hack guys up, but there are things which I dislike. Enemies can stunlock you, as in if you get hit once an enemy can hit you multiple times without you being able to get out of the combo. You do the same to the enemies, but it still feels frustrating. I also fucking HATE the finishing moves. They’re always automatic when you kill the last enemy and while they look flashy they just waste your time. Because of this I killed most of my enemies with a bow or by setting them on fire, then you don’t need to watch those finishers.

The story and the characters? The story is very cliche and kinda boring. Bad guys get your son killed and you go on a revenge journey to kill everyone involved. Also something about a powerful relic that fucks with your mind. Deepest AC lore I assume. But Bayek? I loved him. Bayek was a really good character. He was a tough as nails intimidating warrior, but at the same time a fun loving softie. While he can get really angry and brutal he can also show a really light side, a joyous side. He’s a good man, and a man of honor. He wasn’t just some one dimensional angry dude on a revenge mission, just one really broken man seeking something. As for other characters? I didn’t really care for anyone else. Aya was cool I guess but not very interesting. I kinda liked that Greek poet? And the ginger guy from the last DLC was pretty cool, there was like one funny scene with him.

AC: Origins also tried it’s hands at boss battles. They were alright I guess? Nothing remarkable. I do like how they play around with some of the humanoid bosses. Like there’s one guy that does crazy teleporting thanks to the relic, and there’s this one guy with chain weapons that was cool. I like the ideas, but I wish they were executed a bit better.

There are also some things in the game that kinda bother me. One thing that I abhorred was the in-game shop. It’s true that the microtransactions aren’t intrusive, but that bloody shop locks up so many cool outfits and mounts behind it, and yes even weapons. Yes I know they can also be acquire in game, but guess through what? A fucking loot box. A loot box that you need to grind for and even then you have a slight chance to get some marketplace items. And there’s always a chance that you will get a duplicate, so the best bet is to either use real money or farm your ass off for that cool loot. In my 100+ hour playthourgh I got like 4 unique armors from buying the loot boxes. Some duplicate weapons and mounts too. They’re not intrusive, but they’re fucking bollocks either way. The outfits you can acquire in-game all look the same and aren’t anywhere near exciting or cool looking as the marketplace ones. Only in the last DLC you can find some unique looking armors within the game.

The games sidequests are also a bore. Yeah. Some of them are slightly intriguing, but most of them are just dull. Someone has a problem so you solve it by retrieving something or saving someone. The sidequests eventually start blending together and become a bore. At one point I was just doing them to check something off a list that was in my head. Same goes for a lot of the side stuff in the world. You just repeat a lot of the same shit. The only side activity that I always loved was tomb exploring, and that was because it was limited and interesting. It wasn’t plastered all over the map like those camps and treasure places. Although I did like taking out some of those camps. Surprisingly fun.

But you know what made the game for me? Curse of the Pharaos. I’m not joking when I say that this DLC is BETTER than the main game itself. It had everything I wanted from a game set in ancient egypt. Curses and cool looking Pharaoh bosses. I loved the designs of ALL the Pharaos and I loved exploring the four afterlives. Duat and the field of reeds were phenomenal. Exploring the Egyptian equivalent for afterlife was and amazing experience. The field of reeds was beautiful and dream like, while the Duat was magical like a fantasy world. The randomly appearing Pharao Shadows in the main world were really fun to deal with too and I just, ahhh, loved this DLC so much. It took the best parts of the main game, made them better and mixed it with new interesting ideas. This DLC gets a 10/10 from me, best content in the game.

How about the Hidden Ones DLC? Unremarkable. Pretty much the same as the main game. Didn’t care for the characters or the bad guys, and the story was so uninteresting that I can’t even remember it anymore.

So overall? AC: Origins is a pretty good game. It’s not exceptional, but it’s a lot of fun and has one of the coolest and most fun open worlds that I’ve played. Although there’s a lot of boring repetition, but still. Exploring ancient Egypt as a medjay was a blast. Is the game worth it? If you like a big open world games where you can get lost for hundreds of hours, it’s very much worth it. As an AC game? Can’t comment on that. But it’s the only AC game I actually like. I enjoyed the time I spent with this game this summer, so it gets a recommendation from me. I’d give it like a 7/10. It’s good, but could use a lot of improving. Now let’s hope Odyssey fixes these issues, eh? I doubt it. But at least I get to explore ancient Greece, my other dream video game setting.