#this is what happens when there's unresolved character trauma
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MISTER x SHOUJO - Subaru Oogami x G.N Reader part 1!
The kid at the back is a 18+ visual novel Minors don't interact!
Words: 16000
Genre: G.N Reader (Fluff, Angst!)
Summary: You and Geo navigate an unconventional relationship built on misunderstanding, tension, and unexpected moments of connection. After a lie spirals out of control, rumors spread that Geo is your boyfriend, much to the confusion of everyone around you—including Geo himself. Despite his cold and hostile demeanor, Geo reluctantly agrees to play along, but only for his own peace and solitude.
Geo’s sharp, broody personality often leaves you feeling uncertain and overwhelmed. He doesn’t hesitate to criticize you, flick your forehead when you talk back, or scold you for minor mistakes. Yet, he also protects you, whether from prying classmates or persistent admirers, and even takes your hand to make a show of your "relationship" when his friends are watching.
( Reader is a g.n!)-
Trigger Warning: This content contains themes of
Tension-filled dynamics with elements of power imbalance and verbal hostility's
Rumors and social pressures leading to feelings of alienation and discomfort.
Physical gestures of dominance (e.g., flicking foreheads, pinching).
Underlying themes of unresolved trauma and complex family dynamics
Solivan Brugmanisa
Violence, Blood
EXTRA: He's a character from a game named The kid at the back!! Note, Been reading a lot of Shoujo mangas why not! Make Geo and reader in such a simple plot!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SUBARU OOGAMI!! 15K SPECIAL FOR MY BOY
Reader is Sol's sibling!
In the daytime, you’re Y/n Brugmansia.
Just a normal person living an ordinary life—or so everyone thinks. Because there’s something about you that no one knows yet.
You have a secret.
Your brother is a stalker.
Yes, your brother. Your blood, your family, the one person who’s supposed to have your back. Instead, he’s an emo, obsessive creep with a fixation that makes your skin crawl. The kind of guy who lurks in the shadows, watching, scheming.
But this isn’t just about him. No, your life was thrown into chaos the moment you set foot in that school.
The Hierarchy.
You weren’t supposed to be there. It was a place for the elite, for the kids whose families could pay their way to success. For you, though? It was your scholarship that got you in—a ticket earned with late nights and relentless effort. While others coasted on their wealth, you clawed your way up with sheer determination.
But this place? It doesn’t care about how hard you worked. They only value your worth—the kind that comes with a price tag. If you can’t keep up, you’ll be discarded, just like the others before you.
You’ve heard the stories.
Students who didn’t meet the school’s impossible standards, quietly shuffled to the “other building.” The one for failures. The ones who didn’t fit the image of perfection. A few were expelled altogether, their names erased from the records like they’d never existed.
The students here don’t like you either. You’re an outsider, after all. Not one of them. Surviving without being bullied or set up for things you didn’t do? That’s a challenge in itself. And every misstep feels like a calculated attempt to push you out.
Then there’s your brother.
You don’t live with him anymore—you couldn’t bear it. Not after what he’s become. He’s obsessed, twisted, a shell of the person you once knew. The kind of person who might even hurt you if it came down to it.
And yet, a small part of you wonders: does he care?
The thought of it makes you feel... something. Hope? Comfort? You’re not sure if it’s worth the cost.
But it’s not just him.
You still have Hyugo. Your childhood friend. And Subaru—though you hesitate to call him that anymore. You three used to be close, inseparable even. But that closeness shattered the day something happened.
Subaru changed.
He stopped talking to you, his warmth replaced with an icy indifference. The sweet, playful boy you knew became someone cold, sharp, and unrecognizable.
You don’t know if you’ll ever fix what’s broken.
And honestly, you’re not sure if this place will let you try.
It has been years since you seen him...
You’ve tried to explain it once.
The exhaustion, the loneliness, the way it eats away at you day by day. How studying and living alone isn’t glamorous or freeing—it’s a slow grind, a life that wears you down until you’re nothing but raw nerves and a hollowed-out shell.
But no one really gets it.
They see your grades, your hard-earned scholarship, and think you’ve got it all together. They don’t see the hours you spend hunched over textbooks, eyes burning under the dim glow of your desk lamp. They don’t see the pile of instant noodle cups next to your trash can because cooking is too much work when you’ve been running on fumes for days.
You’ve told yourself it’s fine. That it’s temporary. That sacrificing your health, your happiness, is just part of the process. But some nights, when the silence of your apartment becomes unbearable, you wonder if this is all life will ever be.
Unhealthy. Unhappy. Alone.
It wasn’t always like this. You remember what it was like to have a family. A real family. Before things fell apart. Before your brother became... well, him.
But now, it’s just you.
You wake up every morning in the same cramped room, surrounded by the same cheap furniture you’ve been dragging from one place to the next. You work hard. You study harder. But no matter how much effort you put in, it never feels like enough.
There’s always another exam to ace, another essay to write, another hurdle to jump over just to prove you belong.
Belong where, though?
This school? These people? The ones who sneer at you in the hallways and whisper behind your back? The ones who’ll never see you as one of them because you don’t come from money, because you don’t have their polished, picture-perfect lives?
You’re surviving on scraps. Scraps of energy, scraps of time, scraps of whatever you can salvage from the wreckage of your days. You’ve forgotten what it feels like to sit down and eat a proper meal. To relax without guilt clawing at the back of your mind.
Even sleep feels like a luxury now.
Some nights, you lie awake staring at the ceiling, your chest tight with thoughts you can’t shake off. You wonder what your life would be like if you weren’t so alone.
If you had someone—anyone—to share the burden with.
But then you remind yourself why you’ve done this. Why you left. Why you worked so hard to distance yourself from your brother, from everything he’s become.
You hated what he turned into.
The obsession, the darkness, the way he seemed to spiral further and further into madness with every passing day. You told yourself you couldn’t live like that. That you wouldn’t let him drag you down with him.
But even now, you can’t stop thinking about him.
Because no matter how much you try to convince yourself otherwise, he’s still your brother. The same boy who used to pull you out of bad dreams and promise to protect you from everything scary in the world.
What changed? When did everything fall apart?
You hate him. You miss him. You hate that you miss him.
And then there’s Subaru.
Once upon a time, you thought you understood him. Thought the two of you were inseparable, that nothing could ever come between you.
But now, every interaction with him feels like walking on shards of glass. He’s distant, cold, like he doesn’t care anymore. Like you’re just another face in the crowd.
And maybe that’s what you are now.
Just another face, another name, another person struggling to stay afloat in a world that doesn’t care if you sink.
But even as these thoughts weigh on you, you refuse to give up.
Because giving up isn’t an option.
Not for you.
You’ve worked too hard, sacrificed too much to let it all go to waste now. Even if it means eating nothing but instant noodles for another month. Even if it means enduring the whispers and the stares, the isolation and the exhaustion.
You’ll keep going.
Because at the end of the day, this is all you have.
Your work. Your drive. The dream of something better waiting for you on the other side of all this.
And if you have to face it alone?
So be it.
You’ve been alone before. You’ll survive. You always do.
That day came.
The day when you couldn’t hold it in anymore.
You’d had enough. The isolation. The pressure. The constant fight to keep up with everything and everyone. It was suffocating, like you were being dragged under by a tide you couldn’t control. And in the midst of it all, there he was.
Hyugo.
You hadn’t seen him in so long, but there he was, standing before you on the crowded street, his gaze soft as he noticed you.
“Y/n… is that you?” His voice was gentle, as if he’d just stepped out of a dream.
You froze, your chest tightening. For a moment, you couldn’t breathe. You wanted to run, to pretend like everything was fine, but you couldn’t. Not anymore.
Before you even realized what was happening, the dam broke.
You nearly crumpled right in front of him. Your throat burned with the emotion you’d kept bottled up for so long—anger, sadness, frustration—and it all poured out at once. You didn’t want him to see you like this, to witness your weakness. But it was too late. The tears came anyway.
Hyugo must’ve seen the pain in your eyes, because without a word, he pulled you gently into a nearby cafe.
The warmth of the room felt almost suffocating, but the air was filled with the rich scent of coffee, a distraction from the storm inside you. You sat down across from him, your hands trembling as you gripped the coffee cup, trying to steady yourself.
Before you could say anything, Hyugo spoke, his voice calm but observant. “Your eyes... they’re almost like Sol’s.”
The mention of Sol’s name struck you like a lightning bolt, but instead of reacting, you clung to the cup harder. You didn’t want to hear his name. You didn’t want to think about him.
“I... I hate him,” you managed to choke out, voice breaking. “I hate what he’s become.”
Hyugo watched you carefully, as if weighing his next words, before asking softly, “What about your studies? How’s everything going?”
You hesitated for a moment, the weight of the question almost unbearable. You had been running from the truth for so long, but you couldn’t lie to him. Not anymore.
“It’s fine,” you said, though the words felt like they were scraping against your throat.
Hyugo didn’t believe you. You could see it in the way his brows furrowed, his eyes narrowing with concern. “No, it’s not. You almost broke the glass just holding that cup. Y/n, what’s going on?”
The words were like a trigger, and suddenly you couldn’t hold back. The tears spilled over as you let out a shaky breath. “They’re tormenting me, Hyugo. They blame me for things I didn’t do. They keep talking... rubbish, nonsense, and I just—I just want it to stop!” Your voice cracked with the weight of everything you’d been bottling up. “I wish they’d all just... die!”
The anger surged inside you, but it was swallowed by the crushing despair. You gripped the cup even harder, your knuckles white, trying to contain the flood of emotion that threatened to tear you apart.
“Why... why do you even support him? Why do you care about my brother? He’s insane, Hyugo! He’s delusional!” The words came out like a scream, as if you were pleading for him to understand. “Why do you support him like a... like a mother?! Why do you even put up with his bullshit?”
Hyugo’s face softened, and he leaned forward, his voice low but firm. “Even if he does... things... even if he’s lost himself, I still care about him. And you, Y/n. I care about you, too.”
The words hit you like a punch to the gut. You stared at him, your chest tight, unable to comprehend what he was saying.
“I need to go,” you muttered, standing abruptly from the table, your chair screeching against the floor. Hyugo looked at you with concern, his hand twitching as if to stop you, but he didn’t.
“Go where?” he asked, his voice steady but questioning.
“Home,” you replied, your tone clipped. “The goons... they’ll be waiting. Around 7 p.m., maybe earlier if I’m unlucky. I need to escape before they find me. I can’t—” Your words were sharp, urgent, spilling out faster than you intended.
Hyugo’s brow furrowed, his lips pressing into a thin line. “Y/n, you can’t keep running like this.”
You didn’t answer. You couldn’t. There was no point in explaining further. You grabbed your bag and left the cafe without another word, your mind racing as you hurried down the street. The world outside was darker than you expected, the evening chill cutting through your jacket as you quickened your pace.
Every shadow felt alive, every movement in your peripheral vision like a threat waiting to pounce.
The next day came like a blur.
You didn’t get much sleep—if any at all—but you forced yourself to get up and go to class. As you walked into the building, something felt... off. The air was heavier, charged with something you couldn’t quite name.
You pushed open the classroom door, and that’s when you noticed it.
Everyone was looking at you.
Not the usual stares of indifference or mild disdain. These looks were different—wide eyes, hushed whispers, the faint rustle of papers as students leaned toward each other to mutter under their breath.
Disgusted. Scared.
The rich kids, the goons who never paid you any mind, suddenly couldn’t seem to look away. Their sneers were gone, replaced by something that almost resembled unease.
You froze for a moment, the weight of their gazes pressing down on you like a physical force. Then, forcing yourself to keep moving, you headed toward your usual seat at the back of the class.
The kid who usually sat there, slouched and half-asleep, glanced at you briefly before muttering something under his breath and moving to another seat.
Fine. You didn’t care.
You sat down, pulling out your books and pretending to read. But you could feel it—their eyes on you. Every single one of them.
Your throat tightened as you flipped through the pages, the words blurring together into meaningless lines. You couldn’t focus. You couldn’t think.
What the hell was going on?
You stayed quiet, trying to shrink into yourself, but it didn’t help. The whispers grew louder, the stares more pointed. Some students didn’t even bother to hide it, their eyes burning holes into you as if you were something they couldn’t comprehend.
It didn’t make sense. Yesterday, they hated you because you were poor, because you didn’t belong here. But now?
Now, they looked at you like you were something to be afraid of.
You gripped the edge of your desk, your knuckles turning white as you fought the urge to scream. To demand an explanation. To tell them to stop.
But you didn’t.
You sat there in silence, the noise around you growing louder and louder until it was all you could hear.
And you didn’t u
The tension in the room reached its peak when the teacher walked in. You were too distracted by the whispers, the stares, and the suffocating atmosphere to notice her at first. But her sudden gasp caught your attention.
She froze, staring at you as if she’d seen a ghost. Her face paled, and for a moment, she didn’t speak, her lips parting and closing as though she was struggling to find words.
Then, in a voice barely above a whisper, she said, “They didn’t inform you?”
You blinked, confused. “Inform me about what?”
She didn’t answer. Instead, she moved quickly toward you, grabbing your arm—not harshly, but urgently. Her hand trembled slightly as she pulled you out of your seat. “Come with me. Now.”
The whispers grew louder as she dragged you through the room, her pace brisk, her movements almost frantic. You looked back at the other students, their eyes glued to you, their hushed voices cutting through the silence like knives.
And then you heard it.
“…their brother hurt them so much…”
Your breath hitched. Your brother? What were they talking about?
“What do you mean?” you demanded, your voice trembling. “What’s going on?”
But the teacher didn’t answer. She didn’t even look at you as she led you through the hallway, her grip on your arm tightening.
Your heart raced. The whispers, the stares, the fear—it all felt like it was closing in on you.
She stopped abruptly in front of the principal’s office, knocking quickly before opening the door and ushering you inside.
The principal was seated at his desk, his face pale, his hands clasped together tightly as if trying to steady himself. When he saw you, his eyes widened slightly, a flicker of fear crossing his features before he masked it with a forced calm.
“Sit,” he said, gesturing to the chair in front of him.
You sat down, your mind racing, your hands trembling slightly as you gripped the edges of the chair.
The principal took a deep breath, leaning forward slightly. “Y/n… have you been having trouble with goons recently?”
You blinked, startled by the question. “Yes,” you replied cautiously. “But… what does that have to do with anything? What’s going on?”
The principal hesitated, his gaze darting to the teacher, who stood by the door, wringing her hands nervously. He looked back at you, his voice low, almost trembling.
“If you knew someone with… powerful connections, you should have told us. Things like this could’ve been avoided.”
“What things?” you snapped, frustration and confusion bubbling to the surface. “What happened?”
The principal’s eyes widened slightly, and he leaned back in his chair, his hands trembling as he gripped the edge of his desk.
“You don’t know?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
“No!” you shouted, your voice cracking. “I don’t know anything! What is going on?”
He stared at you, his expression a mix of fear and disbelief, as if he couldn’t comprehend how you were so unaware of whatever had happened.
The principal's voice was sharp, accusatory, as if every word he spat at you was a bullet meant to tear you down.
“That family’s worker—their enforcer or bodyguard, whatever they are—beat up the goons who were after you. The students too, the ones who even stood nearby! Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”
Your breath hitched. “What—what did I do?”
“What did you do?!” he repeated, his face twisting with rage. “You ruined their lives, that’s what! Those students? Their limbs are broken, their reputations in tatters! Why didn’t you just keep quiet?!”
“I didn’t—” you stammered, your voice shaking. “I didn’t do anything! I didn’t ask for—”
“Quiet!” he roared, slamming his hand on the desk, making you flinch. “Do you have any idea how much trouble you’ve caused? The parents of those students—they’ve stopped funding the school! Their kids are worth more than you will ever be!”
The words stung, each one sharper than the last, but your mind was too clouded to process them fully. The room felt like it was spinning, your heart pounding in your chest as his words echoed around you.
“Those broken limbs...” he continued, his voice lower now, dripping with venom. “Someone from that family family—took it upon themselves to send a message. You should have kept your head down. Instead, this happened.”
Your breath caught in your throat.
Broken limbs.
You didn’t need to hear more. Your mind raced, and for a moment, everything around you faded into the background.
The image came to you unbidden.
The night before. The goons���waiting in the alleyways, lurking in the shadows. And then... him.
A man, cloaked in a dark hoodie, his face obscured by a mask but his presence unmistakable. His crimson eyes gleamed like blood in the dim light, his black hair catching the faint glow of the streetlamps.
The goons, cocky and loud, sneered at him.
“Who the fuck are you?” one of them snarled, stepping forward.
The man didn’t answer. He simply tilted his head slightly, his crimson gaze locking onto the speaker.
“Hey, I’m talking to you!” the goon barked, stepping closer, his hand reaching for the weapon at his side.
That’s when one of them recognized him.
“Wait... isn’t that—”
But it was too late.
The man moved with inhuman speed, his strikes precise and brutal. The first goon went down before he even had a chance to react, his weapon clattering to the ground as he crumpled, clutching his shattered arm.
The others charged at him, shouting obscenities, but it was futile. The man was a whirlwind of destruction, his movements fluid and calculated. Each punch, each kick, was delivered with devastating accuracy, bones cracking under his blows.
It wasn’t a fight—it was a massacre.
And when it was over, the goons lay sprawled on the ground, groaning in pain, their limbs twisted at unnatural angles.
The man stood over them, his breathing steady, his crimson eyes cold and unfeeling. Without a word, he turned and disappeared into the shadows, leaving behind only chaos and broken bodies.
Your stomach twisted as the scene played out in your mind.
It wasn’t the family’s worker.
It was him.
Your brother.
You swallowed hard, your heart racing as you stared at the principal, who was still fuming, his voice rising once again.
“And now—now you’re telling me you didn’t know? You didn’t think this would happen?! You’re a liability! We can’t have you here anymore. You’re being moved to the other building—”
“What?!” you cut him off, your voice rising with panic. “No! I worked hard to get here! You can’t just—”
“I can and I will!” he snapped, slamming his hand on the desk again. “If you’d kept your mouth shut, none of this would’ve happened. But no, you just had to—”
“Had to what?” you interrupted, your voice cold now, cutting through his tirade. “Had to exist? Had to study hard and not depend on anyone? Is that it?”
The principal glared at you, his face twisted with frustration and fear.
“You should’ve been quiet!” he spat, his voice trembling with anger. “Because of you, because of your connections, those students—those valuable students—are ruined! Their parents have pulled their funding! They’re worth more to this school than your... your—”
“Garbage,” you said, cutting him off again, your voice steady and ice-cold. “No matter how much garbage you collect, it’s still garbage. Just like those idiots who got beat up.”
The principal’s face turned an alarming shade of red, his mouth opening and closing as he struggled for a response. But you didn’t wait for him to find his words.
The principal’s voice boomed, his face a mix of frustration and fear.
“You’re expelled from this building! Effective immediately, you’ll be transferred to the other one!”
You blinked, the words hanging in the air. For a second, your chest tightened, and you almost felt like crying—but then, inexplicably, a smile stretched across your lips. It wasn’t happiness, not really. It was a strange mix of bitterness, relief, and vindication, all bundled into one small, defiant smirk.
“Maybe this isn’t the place for me,” you said softly, your voice steady but laced with a subtle edge. “Maybe it never was.”
The principal’s face turned red with rage, but you didn’t stick around to hear whatever rant he had brewing. You turned on your heel and walked out of the office, your head held high.
Whispers erupted around you the moment you stepped into the hallway. You didn’t bother looking at the students lining the lockers, their wide eyes and hushed voices buzzing like bees in your ears. You were done with their judgment. Done with their stares. Done with this.
Two days. That was how long you had before your official transfer to the other building.
Your locker greeted you with its usual dull metallic clang as you opened it, shoving your books into your bag with slow, deliberate movements. The weight of your situation pressed down on you, but for the first time in what felt like forever, you didn’t feel completely powerless.
Why?
Your mind flashed back to the incident—the broken limbs, the terrified whispers, the way the principal’s voice shook when he accused you of “ruining” those students’ lives. It wasn’t fear that gave you confidence. No. It was something else.
Was it him?
The thought of your brother filled you with conflicting emotions. Rage. Confusion. Maybe even the faintest trace of... gratitude?
You laughed quietly to yourself, the sound sharp and bitter. “Why the hell would that idiot’s actions make me feel safe?” you muttered, slamming your locker shut.
Still, deep down, you knew the truth. For all his faults—and there were plenty—he had your back.
Later that evening, you returned to your tiny apartment, hoping for a moment of peace to sort through your chaotic thoughts. But instead, you found your belongings scattered across the pavement outside.
“What the hell...?”
Your landlord stood in the doorway, arms crossed and glaring at you with pure disdain.
“You’re out,” he said bluntly.
“What?!” you snapped, storming up to him. “What are you talking about? I’ve always paid my rent on time—”
“Don’t care!” he barked, stepping forward and shoving you back before you could argue further. “You and your connections aren’t welcome here anymore. I don’t want any trouble.”
“Trouble?!” Your voice cracked with anger and disbelief. “What trouble?! I don’t even have connections!”
But he slammed the door in your face, leaving you standing there, stunned and furious.
You stared at your scattered belongings, your chest heaving with frustration. The weight of everything—the expulsion, the stares, the whispers, and now this—felt like it was crushing you. Your vision blurred as tears threatened to spill, but you refused to let them fall.
“Y/N?”
The familiar voice snapped you out of your thoughts.
You looked up to see Hyugo and Sol standing a few feet away.
Hyugo looked at you with an apologetic frown, his hands shoved into his pockets. Sol, on the other hand, was a mess. His hoodie was torn, his knuckles were bandaged, and bruises bloomed across his face. His crimson eyes were sharp and piercing, but there was something in them—something tired.
“Hyugo,” you muttered, your voice shaking.
Hyugo crouched down beside you, his expression soft and filled with regret. “I didn’t think it would go this far. I’m sorry.”
You stared at him, your emotions swirling. “Thank you,” you said quietly, your voice barely above a whisper. “For helping with the goons.”
Hyugo shook his head. “Don’t thank me. Thank Sol.”
Your gaze flicked to your brother, who stood silently, his crimson eyes boring into you.
“There’s no need for thanks,” Sol said, his voice flat and cold.
You didn’t know what to say.
But before you could think of a response, Sol broke the silence. “You have nowhere to go now.”
Your stomach dropped.
“So move in with me,” he said.
You blinked, stunned. “What? No! Absolutely not!”
Sol raised an eyebrow, his expression completely unimpressed. “You don’t really have a choice.”
“I do have a choice,” you snapped, standing up to face him. “And I’d rather be homeless than live with you!”
Sol didn’t respond. He simply crouched down and started gathering your belongings, completely ignoring your protests.
“Hey! What are you doing?!” you demanded, panic rising in your voice.
“Taking your things home,” he said calmly, not even looking at you.
“Home?!”
“Yes. Home. My apartment. Two rooms. Small but functional.”
You clenched your fists, your frustration bubbling over. “I don’t need your help!”
“Too bad,” he replied bluntly, standing up with your bag slung over his shoulder.
You glared at him, your voice trembling with anger. “I don’t even have anything worth taking! Just clothes and—”
“And cheap junk?” Sol cut in, his crimson eyes narrowing slightly.
Your face burned with embarrassment as you looked away. “Don’t judge me. I’m broke.”
For a moment, he was silent. Then, to your surprise, his voice softened—just barely.
“I’m not judging you,” he said, his tone unreadable.
You stared at him, taken aback. Sol was always cold, distant, impossible to read. But now, for the first time, you saw something in his eyes—something faint and fleeting, but undeniably there.
Understanding.
You threw your hands in the air, frustration bubbling over as you glared at Sol. “What the hell even are you?!” Your voice cracked, half from anger, half from the strain of everything that had happened. “I’ll never talk to you again. Not after this. Not after—whatever the fuck this is!”
Sol stood still, his crimson eyes fixed on you. For a moment, you thought he might lash out or bark back, but instead, his gaze softened.
“I regret a lot of things in life,” he said quietly, his voice steady but tinged with something you couldn’t quite place. “But this… what I am, what I’ve done—it is what it is.”
You stared at him, your breath catching in your throat. There was no malice in his tone, no defiance. Just a quiet, resigned sadness.
Sol turned his gaze to the ground, his expression distant. “After this year, you can move out. You don’t have to stay with me any longer than that. This is just for now—for you to stay safe. It’s the least I can do.”
His words hung in the air like a weight you couldn’t shake.
“And after that?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
He glanced at you, his crimson eyes duller than you’d ever seen them. “After that,” he said softly, “I’ll disappear. I’ll stay in the shadows, far away from you. You can hate me all you want. I’ll carry that, too.”
For a moment, you were frozen. You wanted to scream, to demand answers, to break down and cry all at once—but you didn’t.
Instead, you stood there, silent and broken, unable to find the words.
It took time—time you didn’t want to admit you needed—but eventually, you moved in with him.
The apartment was small, just like Sol had said. Two rooms, clean, minimalistic. It was nothing like the chaotic mess of your old place, where everything was a constant reminder of your struggles. Here, it felt… oddly peaceful.
Sol didn’t talk much, and you didn’t ask questions. It was easier that way. The tension between you was always there, simmering under the surface, but he never pushed.
What surprised you the most, though, was how much he did for you.
Every morning, without fail, there was a freshly prepared bento waiting on the kitchen counter. Carefully packed rice, vegetables, protein—a far cry from the instant noodles and junk food you’d lived on before.
At first, you wanted to refuse, to push it all away out of spite. But your stomach betrayed you, and after the first bite, you couldn’t stop. It was so much better than anything you’d had in ages.
You hated how much you appreciated it.
Still, you didn’t say thank you. You couldn’t.
Life slowly began to find its rhythm. The new building accepted you, and for the first time in what felt like forever, you could study without constant fear or harassment. The weight of the goons, the whispers, and the stares had lifted.
You focused on your classes, determined to finish your degree and leave everything behind.
Sol stayed out of your way for the most part, true to his word. He didn’t ask about your day or pry into your life. He just… existed in the background. A quiet presence that you couldn’t quite ignore, no matter how hard you tried.
One evening, as you sat at the small dining table, absently picking at your food, you overheard something that caught you off guard.
It was a phone call—Sol’s voice, low and muffled through the thin walls of the apartment.
“She’s fine,” he said, his tone surprisingly soft. “No, I don’t need anything. Just take care of yourself, alright?”
You froze, your chopsticks hovering mid-air.
A few minutes later, Sol walked out of his room, his expression unreadable as always.
“You…” You hesitated, unsure if you even wanted to know. “You’ve been seeing someone?”
He stopped, blinking at you in surprise. For the first time in a while, you caught a glimpse of something almost human in his crimson eyes—something vulnerable.
“It’s not important,” he said curtly, brushing past you and heading to the kitchen.
You didn’t press. If he wanted to keep his secrets, that was fine. It wasn’t your business anyway.
You still weren’t sure how you felt about living with Sol. Sometimes, the weight of his presence was suffocating. Other times, it was strangely comforting.
What you did know was that, for the first time in a long time, you felt like you could breathe.
The new building was peaceful. Your studies were going well. And for all the chaos and pain that had led you here, you were starting to believe that maybe—just maybe—you could finish your degree and move on with your life.
For now, that was enough.
The students, for the most part, weren’t as cruel as those from the first one. There were no constant whispers or mocking glances. No one actively sought to tear you down. In fact, for the first time in a while, you felt like you were fitting in.
It didn’t hurt that you made a couple of friends, too.
Crowe, a student council member, was probably the most surprising of them all. At first, you thought he was just another stuck-up overachiever, someone who only cared about his grades and keeping up appearances. But to your shock, Crowe was kind, understanding, and remarkably down-to-earth. He made an effort to include you in group activities, always looking out for you when you felt like you were on the edge.
Then there was Brittney, a gyaru girl with blonde hair and a look that screamed “don’t mess with me” in the best way possible. You’d seen her walking around with her friends, looking like she owned the world, but once you got to know her, she was actually one of the nicest people you’d met in a long time.
Life wasn’t perfect, but it was better. You could breathe easier here.
Until, of course, some shitheads from the other building decided to ruin it all.
You had heard the rumors. The students from the first building still had their eyes on you, and not in a good way. They’d been whispering behind your back, mocking you, probably spreading lies about you. You’d thought you could leave all that behind when you transferred, but it seemed that the hatred for your last name followed you wherever you went.
One afternoon, while you were walking to class, a group of them cornered you in the hallway. They wore smug smiles, leaning in closer as you tried to brush past them.
“Well, well, if it isn’t her,” one of them sneered, a girl with jet-black hair and a silver stud in her nose. “How’s life in the new building? Not as glamorous as you thought, huh?”
You kept your head down, walking faster, but they followed you.
Another student, a lanky guy with glasses, laughed loudly. “What’s the matter? Afraid to talk to us? Or are you just embarrassed to be here?”
The insults kept coming, each one cutting deeper than the last.
You could feel your patience slipping away. They thought they had power over you. They thought they could just keep pushing you around because of your name, your past, your connection to your brother.
But no more.
You turned to face them, your voice low and controlled but full of authority. “Enough,” you snapped, eyes flashing with a fire that even you hadn’t realized was there.
One of the girls laughed, clearly trying to push your buttons. “What’s the matter, princess? Can’t handle the truth?”
You stood up straighter, meeting her gaze with cold, unflinching eyes. “You want to know the truth?” you said, your voice dripping with disdain. “My boyfriend won’t tolerate this. He’s not going to let you get away with this. He’s already made it clear he doesn’t like people messing with me.”
The group of them paused for a moment, clearly surprised by your sudden shift in demeanor. Then, one of the guys—a taller, muscular dude with a tattoo on his neck—sneered at you. “Oh, you’ve got a boyfriend? Who would want someone like you?”
You didn’t flinch. Instead, you gave them a sharp smile, one that didn’t reach your eyes. “He’s busy. But if you really want to meet him, I can show you a picture.”
The group of them exchanged glances, clearly amused by the idea that someone like you could have a boyfriend.
“Well, then,” the girl with the silver nose stud said with a smirk, “show us. I dare you.”
You kept your gaze steady, knowing exactly what you were doing. You pulled out your phone, holding it up in front of you like a weapon. “Fine. Two days,” you said, your voice cool and confident. “I’ll show you a picture. You’ve got two days to get off my back, or I’ll make sure he pays a visit here. You won’t like it if you push him too far.”
The group laughed, thinking it was all a joke, but you could see the doubt creeping into their eyes. They hadn’t expected you to fight back.
“Alright, we’ll give you two days,” the guy said, clearly eager to get away. “But don’t try to back out. We’ll be expecting that photo.”
With that, they all dispersed, leaving you standing in the hallway, your heart racing but your face betraying no emotion.
You let out a sigh, leaning against the wall. You hadn’t expected to be so forceful, but it felt good to finally stand up for yourself. Even if it was a lie.
But now, you had a problem. You didn’t have a boyfriend. And if you didn’t show them a photo in two days, they’d be all over you like a swarm of angry bees.
You cursed under your breath, pulling your phone back into your pocket. What had you gotten yourself into?
You sat in the back of the classroom the next day, trying to focus on the lecture, but your mind was elsewhere. You could feel the eyes of the other students on you, some out of curiosity, others out of contempt. It was no different than before—except now, it wasn’t just because of your last name.
You were being mocked,
You tried to ignore the whispers, you glanced over at Crowe, who was sitting a few seats away, scribbling notes in his notebook. Brittney was next to him, chatting quietly with some other students, her usual carefree attitude making you feel slightly more at ease.
But the peace didn’t last long. The students who had mocked you the day before were back at it, making sure to keep their voices loud enough for you to hear.
You tried to block them out, but it was impossible.
And then, a strange thing happened.
Brittney turned to you, her face unreadable. “Don’t let them get to you,” she whispered, her eyes serious. “You’re not alone.”
It felt like a small comfort, and for the first time, you felt like maybe you could make it through this.
Two days.
You could figure something out in two days. You had to.
The door clicked shut behind you, the familiar sound echoing through the small apartment. You sighed, your shoulders sinking in relief, glad to be home after another exhausting day of pretending everything was fine.
But, of course, it wasn’t.
Sol was already there when you walked in, sitting on the couch with his phone in his hands. His voice was light, like he was chatting with someone and clearly enjoying himself. It was almost sickening, how happy he sounded.
You stared at him for a moment, your gaze narrowing. What was it that had him so cheerful today? You’d never seen him like this, not even when he got good grades or when he finally kicked his bad habits. He wasn’t even looking at you; his attention was fixed entirely on the screen, his voice soft and relaxed.
"Hey," you said, trying to sound casual as you dropped your bag by the door, "who are you talking to?"
He glanced up at you, his smile widening just a little, before turning his attention back to the phone. "Oh, just my lover," he said with a weirdly creepy grin plastered on his face.
Your eyebrows shot up. Lover? What the hell? He was still going on about it, his voice practically dripping with giddiness. He's like a puppy "I can’t get enough of them. we’re meant to be together."
You froze, your eyes going wide. What the actual fuck? He wasn’t just casually talking to someone—he was head over heels. And you had to sit there and listen to it? You couldn’t believe it.
Meanwhile, you had been completely oblivious. All this time, you’d been drowning in your studies and dealing with the goons and everything else that kept you on edge. You hadn’t even thought about relationships, hadn’t even considered love as part of your life. It was just... forgotten. You had nothing.
And now, Sol—Sol—had someone.
A sick feeling twisted in your stomach, and you couldn’t hold back the bitterness that bubbled up. You stared at him like he was the world's biggest idiot, feeling your jaw clench. What the hell was wrong with you?
You didn’t even know why it stung so much. Maybe it was because you had never realized how important love was until now. Maybe it was because, for once, you wanted to experience that kind of happiness, that kind of connection with someone. Maybe it was because the one person who you thought was stuck in the same mess as you was already way ahead of you.
Shit.
"How was your day?" Sol asked, his voice almost too soft as he glanced up from his phone for a moment.
For a split second, you wanted to tell him everything, to unload your frustrations, your anger at the goons, the way they tormented you, how you were faking everything just to get through the day. You could have told him about the lies, about how you had to lie about having a boyfriend to shut them up. You could have shared all of it.
But no.
You couldn’t let him know. You wouldn’t. Not after seeing how genuinely happy he was. You couldn’t let your mess affect his life.
So you smiled, fake as it was, and answered. "I spent time with my boyfriend."
Sol blinked, looking confused for a second. He raised an eyebrow. "Your boyfriend?"
You instantly regretted saying it. You weren’t sure why you said it, but you couldn’t take it back now. "Yeah," you said, trying to sound more confident than you felt. "My boyfriend. I just... I spent time with him. That’s it."
There was a beat of silence as Sol stared at you. His eyes seemed darker now, suspicious even. You could see the gears turning in his mind. "Wait, what?" He put his phone down slowly, his eyes narrowing. "Who is this guy? How long have you been together?"
Your heart skipped a beat. Why was he asking so many questions? Why did it matter to him?
You felt your pride kick in. You had to keep up the act. You had to show him that you weren’t some loser, stuck in a miserable existence. "It’s none of your business, Sol," you snapped, irritation creeping into your voice. "Just drop it."
But he wasn’t letting it go. He tilted his head slightly, eyes still locked on you with an intensity you hadn’t seen before. "I’m just trying to be a good brother here," he said quietly, but the words were heavy. "You don’t have to lie to me."
"I’m not lying!" you shot back, then immediately regretted it. Your words came out too sharp, too defensive.
He sighed, rubbing his temples, clearly frustrated. "Look, you don’t have to tell me everything. But if you need someone to talk to—"
"No!" you cut him off, more forcefully this time. "Just... just leave me alone, alright?"
Sol blinked at you, his expression unreadable, and for a moment, you thought you saw something soft in his eyes. He didn’t say anything, just nodded slowly before picking up his phone again, his voice more distant than before. "Fine. then."
You shot him a glare, already heading toward your room. "Whatever."
But as you reached the door, he called out to you again. "Hey."
You didn’t turn around.
"I know you think you have to keep things from me," he said quietly. "But I’m still your brother, okay? Even if you hate me."
You didn’t respond, just stepped into your room and slammed the door behind you.
But as the silence settled, your mind wandered back to the lie you told. You couldn’t stop thinking about it, about the emptiness that still lingered in your chest. Your life had become so focused on surviving, on studying, on dealing with the shit that kept piling on top of you, that you forgot about the things that truly mattered.
You’d built walls so high around yourself that even the smallest glimpse of happiness felt out of reach.
You sat down on the bed, head in your hands, overwhelmed by it all. What was wrong with you? Why couldn’t you just be normal?
The night passed quietly, the silence of the apartment settling heavily around you as you drifted to sleep. Your thoughts were a swirling mess of frustration, loneliness, and regret. You tossed and turned, unable to quiet the storm in your head.
The scene shifted.
At the same time, across town, the conversation was unfolding in a cozy corner of a cafe where you wouldn’t be, but where the people you’d come to know were. The three of them sat together, sipping their drinks, their chatter light despite the weighty topics that had been hanging around you.
Brittney, Jess, and Crowe were in the midst of a rare quiet moment, their usual teasing and laughter taking a backseat to something more serious.
“I just don’t get it,” Crowe was saying, his voice low, almost like he was trying to make sense of something he couldn’t fully comprehend. "You know, they’ve been through so much. It’s like... their whole life’s been one disaster after another."
Jess nodded, her face thoughtful. "I feel it too," she said softly, her voice tinged with empathy. "They’re like a walking storm cloud, always pushing people away without meaning to. It’s hard to watch someone live like that."
Brittney, who had always been more outspoken, tilted her head, frowning. "They’re just so... nice, y’know? They’re really relatable in a way. Like, it’s easy to see why they’ve been through so much. But they hide it so well. I respect that."
Crowe smiled at Brittney’s words, his gaze softening. "You’ve made a new friend, huh?" he teased, leaning back in his chair.
Brittney shot him an unimpressed look, her eyes rolling. "Don’t act like it’s hard for me to make friends, Crowe. I’m not that bad," she said, a half-smirk on her face.
Jess chuckled at the playful exchange but then grew serious again. "But, seriously, you guys think they’ll ever fit in here? I mean, meeting Deryl is one thing, but how will Geo feel about them joining the group? You know how he is with... new people."
Crowe’s expression hardened slightly, his fingers drumming lightly on the table. "Geo’s a problem. If they can’t handle him, this whole thing’s gonna blow up. But... I think he’d accept them, eventually. I hope."
Brittney leaned back, her lips curling slightly as she pondered the idea. "Well, let’s just hope he doesn’t scare them off," she muttered. "Because with the way they’ve been acting, I don’t think they’re in the mood for more drama."
There was a heavy silence between them, the weight of the conversation pressing down on all of them. They had seen glimpses of the life you led—your struggles, your isolation, and the way you tried to hide it behind a wall of sarcasm and forced smiles. And despite their differences, despite their own challenges, they understood you in a way most didn’t.
And just as the silence grew uncomfortable, Crowe broke it again, his voice quieter this time, a little more thoughtful. "We’ll see. I think, in their own way, they’re starting to open up. But... we all need to be patient with them."
They all exchanged glances, unsure of where this new chapter would lead. Would you really fit in with them, or would the weight of your past hold you back from finally connecting with people who genuinely wanted to be your friends?
Only time would tell.
You woke up on Sunday feeling oddly restless, your thoughts swirling. You needed to do something about that "boyfriend" situation. You could ask Hyugo for help, but a tiny voice in your head told you that would be a huge mistake. You didn’t need his involvement—not now. What you really needed was someone like Sol, someone intimidating and powerful who could send a message. Someone who made others back off without lifting a finger. But finding someone like that wasn’t going to be easy.
You walked, your mind raced through all the possibilities. Could you find someone who matched that terrifying energy? Who could fill the role without looking like a total joke?
Suddenly, a murmur caught your attention. A group of girls were talking excitedly, their words a mixture of awe and admiration. You glanced in their direction, curiosity piqued, and your gaze fell upon the source of their chatter.
There, walking casually down the street, was a man who commanded attention. His pale complexion stood out against the dull backdrop of the city, his aquamarine eyes seemingly piercing through everything in his path. His lips were fuller than usual, giving him a strikingly handsome appearance. But it wasn’t just his looks that made him stand out—it was the energy he exuded. Something about him screamed power, something that made you feel a strange flutter in your chest.
He had dark bluish-purple hair, the type that could easily be called stylish but still slightly intimidating with its bowl-cut shape. His low ponytail was tied neatly, as though he didn’t even need to try. His clothing matched his entire vibe: a dark, bluish-purple hoodie with a white turtleneck peeking out, paired with black ripped jeans that added an edge to his appearance. And the accessories—those long, rectangular block earrings in teal and white, not to mention the septum piercing—made him look like someone who didn’t care what anyone thought.
He was, in a word, perfect. He looked like the kind of guy who would make a fantastic, terrifying boyfriend. You could feel the pull, the certainty that he would be just as frightening as Sol. You took a step forward, feeling that strange urge to get closer to him, to make him yours somehow.
You pulled your phone from your pocket, your heart racing slightly. This was it. You didn’t need to talk to him, you just needed a photo, something to show the goons who had mocked you. Something to prove you had a boyfriend—someone they’d never dare question. You lined up the shot, focusing on his face, waiting for the perfect moment.
And just as you were about to snap the photo, you saw him look up. His gaze locked on yours. Time seemed to freeze for a second.
"Did you take my photo?" he asked, his voice cold, his expression unreadable.
Your heart nearly stopped. His tone was sharp, almost predatory. The way he asked it… it wasn’t just a simple question—it was a warning. His cold stare sent a shiver down your spine.
Oh no. You felt your face flush, and before you could react, he looked away. But then, just as quickly, his eyes returned to you, piercing through you with a chilling gaze.
"Did you take my photo?" he repeated, the question more threatening now.
Your mind went blank. You were trapped. You realized, in that moment, that you’d made a huge mistake. You’d done the exact thing your brother would’ve done. You'd stalked someone. You’d taken their picture without permission, without any regard for boundaries. You’d become that person—the one who couldn't control their obsession.
Your body froze as the realization hit. "Congrats," you thought bitterly to yourself, "You’ve just become like your brother. It's a crime, you idiot."
Panicking, your hands shook. The girls who’d been chatting earlier noticed the scene and started laughing. "Aww, look at there, an idiot!" one of them teased, her voice ringing out like a bell. The sting of their mockery made you want to disappear.
Your heart pounded. What had you done? This guy was terrifying. He was exactly the kind of person who could ruin your life with a single word. You stood there, paralyzed, as he looked at you with disdain, clearly not impressed by your actions.
"What the hell?" he muttered, his eyes narrowing at you. It felt like time was moving in slow motion. He took a single step toward you, and you couldn't stand it anymore. You turned on your heel and bolted, running as fast as you could, your heart in your throat.
Your mind was a whirlwind. What the hell had just happened? You had crossed a line, and you knew it. The anxiety in your chest grew heavier with each step you took, and it wasn’t just because you had taken his photo—it was because, in some messed-up way, you kind of wanted him to catch you. But now you were scared of what might happen next.
You kept running, never looking back, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that you had just made a terrifying mistake.
You slowed down, your feet dragging slightly as you tried to catch your breath. The adrenaline was wearing off, but your mind was still racing. You pulled your phone from your pocket, your fingers trembling as you looked at the picture you’d taken of him. The shot was perfect. He looked so intense, like a figure from your twisted fantasies. Your heart was pounding, but there was a strange sense of satisfaction building within you.
Your life won’t be hell anymore. The thought rang in your mind, though you weren’t entirely sure if you believed it. Was this really the answer? You’d gone this far, taken this huge leap, and now you couldn’t back down. You had something on them, something that would protect you, wouldn’t it?
But as you walked, you heard the unmistakable voices of the goons. You froze, the panic starting to rise again. There was no escape. No more hiding. They had found you.
“Hey,” one of the guys sneered, his eyes locking onto you. “What’s that you got there?”
You didn’t even get a chance to react before the other guy grabbed your phone from your hand, swiping it with ease. You tried to fight back, but they were too fast, too strong. Your pulse quickened, your breath shallow.
“What is this?” The first goon asked as he stared at the screen. He glanced at the picture you’d taken. “Looks like someone we know…”
The tension in the air thickened, and before you could do anything, they grabbed you. One of the goons sneered down at you. “You’ve really crossed the line this time, haven’t you?”
A rush of cold terror washed over you, and before you could get a word out, a fist collided with your face. The world spun as you crumpled to the ground, everything going black for a moment. A sharp pain shot through your skull as your vision blurred.
But then, you heard something. Voices. A scuffle. Another punch. And then, to your surprise, two men came into view, swinging at the goons who had been tormenting you. The sound of fists hitting flesh was almost deafening, but you barely registered it. Your head was still spinning from the punch. One of the goons was knocked to the side, groaning. The other barely managed to stand before another punch sent him to the ground.
The man who had delivered the blows stood tall, a dark presence looming over you. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw his face. You blinked through the fog in your vision, trying to make sense of what was happening. The man who had just taken down the goons looked familiar, his features hauntingly similar to the guy you’d just photographed.
Your breath hitched. The connection was clear now. This was him.
You had taken a picture of his face. You had made a move, and now, here he was, standing over you like some kind of dark savior, though it didn’t feel like you were in safe hands at all.
A voice cut through the haze. It was the other man— you thought his name was—asking the man if you were okay. The other voice was tentative, almost kind, though there was a nervous laugh in it.
“Don’t touch ‘em,” Geo" muttered, his voice cold and detached, though there was something else there too. “Why even bother with someone like them?”
You blinked, struggling to stay conscious. Your vision blurred again as your body betrayed you, and you nearly passed out. But not before you heard Deryl’s voice again, this time more insistent.
“Buddy,” Deryl said, trying to lighten the mood. “You should help people in need. Even if they photographed you.”
Geo shot him a look, his eyes deadly serious, but there was a flicker of something—something darker—in them when he looked down at you. His gaze was hard, calculating. It was like he was piecing something together in his mind. Finally, after a long pause, he spoke.
“I’m not touching them,” he muttered again, but it was clear that wasn’t the case anymore. He was trying to pretend he didn’t care, but his eyes told a different story.
You could barely focus, your eyelids growing heavier as your body refused to stay awake. Geo’s voice cut through the fog once more, and you caught a few words before everything went blank.
“Deryl, you carry them. I’m not touching that.”
Deryl adjusted his grip on you as he walked, muttering softly to himself. “Man, you’re heavier than you look…” He chuckled nervously, more to ease his own discomfort than to make a joke. You were completely unconscious, head lolling slightly, and he glanced back at Geo, who followed a few steps behind with his usual brooding expression.
Geo’s aquamarine eyes lingered on your face, his sharp gaze narrowing. Something about the way you looked stirred a memory, one he wasn’t prepared to confront. His steps faltered for just a moment before he hissed, “Wait.”
Deryl stopped in his tracks, raising an eyebrow. “Huh? What is it?”
Geo’s eyes widened slightly, the corners of his mouth twitching into a grimace. Without explaining himself, he stepped forward, his presence looming over both you and Deryl. “Give them to me.”
“What?” Deryl asked, startled. “You just said—”
“I said give them to me,” Geo snapped, his voice low and cold, cutting through Deryl’s hesitation. He reached out, his movements sharp but deliberate, and took you from Deryl’s arms without waiting for an argument.
Deryl blinked, his jaw dropping slightly. “You’ve been all high and mighty about not helping, and now you’re—”
“Shut up,” Geo hissed, his tone dangerous. He adjusted his grip on you with a surprising gentleness that contradicted the hostility in his voice. He glanced down at your face again, his expression hardening. His lips parted slightly, as if he wanted to say something, but no words came out.
Deryl stared at him for a moment before sighing and scratching the back of his head. “Alright, fine, Pal! . Lead the way, I guess.”
Geo didn’t reply. He simply started walking, his strides long and purposeful. Deryl followed behind, shooting the occasional curious glance at Geo, who carried you as if it were both a burden and something he couldn’t let go of.
When they reached the nearest bus stand, Geo stopped. He looked around briefly before stepping toward the bench. His movements were precise, almost mechanical, as he carefully set you down, leaning you against the metal backrest. His hands lingered for a moment, his fingers curling slightly as if he were resisting the urge to do more.
Deryl, watching the scene unfold, crossed his arms and tilted his head. “So, uh… what now? We just leave them here?”
Geo straightened up, his face as unreadable as ever. “Yes.”
“Seriously?” Deryl’s voice rose in disbelief. “You’re just gonna walk away and leave them like this? What if something happens?”
“They’ll survive.” Geo’s tone was clipped, final.
Deryl took a step closer, trying to catch Geo’s eye. “How do you even know that? You’re acting like you know them or something.”
Geo froze, his eyes narrowing dangerously. Slowly, he turned his head to glare at Deryl, his aquamarine gaze sharp enough to cut. “I said shut up.”
Deryl raised his hands in mock surrender, though his grin didn’t quite mask his curiosity. “Alright, alright, no need to get all hissy about it. Just saying, you’re acting weird.”
Geo didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he cast one last glance at you. His expression remained cold, but there was something in his eyes—a flicker of recognition, perhaps? He pressed his lips into a thin line, his jaw tightening as if he were swallowing words he didn’t want to speak.
“Annoying,” he muttered under his breath, his voice barely audible. He turned on his heel and started walking away, his hands shoved into the pockets of his hoodie. Deryl jogged after him, falling into step beside him.
“Okay, but seriously,” Deryl said, his tone lighter now but still probing. “You’re acting like this is personal. Do you know them?”
Geo didn’t slow down, his gaze fixed straight ahead. “No.”
Deryl snorted. “You’re a terrible liar, buddy.”
“Shut up,” Geo snapped again, his voice lower this time, almost a growl. His pace quickened, but Deryl kept up, undeterred.
“Come on, man,” Deryl pressed. “If you don’t know them, why’d you suddenly change your mind? You went from ‘leave them to rot’ to ‘I’ll carry them myself’ in, like, two seconds. What gives?”
Geo’s teeth clenched, the muscles in his jaw tightening. For a moment, it seemed like he wouldn’t answer, but then he let out a sharp exhale through his nose. “They’re too familiar.”
Deryl blinked, taken aback. “Familiar? Like how?”
Geo’s lips curled into a sneer, though it seemed more directed at himself than at Deryl. “I said, shut up.”
Deryl held up his hands again, though his grin widened. “Alright, alright. But you’re really bad at keeping secrets, you know that?”
Geo ignored him, his strides long and purposeful as he walked away from the bus stand. His mind, however, wasn’t as composed as his outward demeanor suggested. Memories he’d buried long ago were clawing their way to the surface, and no matter how much he tried to suppress them, they wouldn’t stay hidden.
“Still look the same…” he muttered under his breath, barely audible even to himself. His aquamarine eyes flicked toward the ground as he walked, his expression darkening. The weight of recognition was heavy on his shoulders, though he refused to let it show.
Deryl, walking beside him, noticed the change in Geo’s demeanor but chose not to press further. Instead, he settled for a quieter approach, matching Geo’s pace without saying a word. He could tell Geo was lost in his thoughts, and though Deryl was naturally nosy, he knew better than to push too hard when Geo was in one of his moods.
Geo’s mind raced as he replayed the events of the past hour. Your face, your fainted form, the way you’d looked so vulnerable—it all felt too close to something he couldn’t quite place. Or maybe he could, but he didn’t want to admit it.
“You’re too into my memories,” he muttered again, his voice barely more than a whisper. His fists clenched in his pockets as he walked, his gaze fixed ahead.
But despite his outward hostility, a part of him couldn’t shake the feeling that this encounter wasn’t over. And that thought, as much as he hated to admit it, unsettled him more than anything else.
You jolted awake as a high-pitched wail pierced your groggy mind. A child, no older than five, stood in front of you, tugging at her mother’s sleeve. “I want to sit!” she cried, her tiny voice laced with impatience.
The mother gave you an apologetic smile, gently shaking your shoulder. “Excuse me, but could you let her sit?”
Blinking rapidly, you straightened up, your head still spinning. “Oh, uh, sorry! My bad!” You quickly stood, brushing yourself off as you apologized again.
The little girl climbed up onto the bench, beaming as she claimed her throne. The mother gave you a curt nod of thanks, and you stepped back, trying to collect your thoughts.
Your heart was still racing as you walked away, your legs shaky but functional. A strange heaviness settled in your chest as you tried to piece together what had happened. Then, with a sudden jolt of panic, you patted your pockets. Your phone. Relief flooded through you as you pulled it out, still intact.
Your thumb hovered over the screen as you unlocked it. The first thing you saw was the photo. The guy. His face stared back at you, aquamarine eyes cold and piercing even in stillness. You stared at it, holding your phone closer for a better look. He looked familiar somehow, but you couldn’t place why. Then again, did it matter?
You sighed, switching off your phone. At least you had something to show those goons. Even if they were terrifying, this picture might just save you from whatever chaos they had planned. You tried to convince yourself that was enough.
Your thoughts drifted back to the encounter. You couldn’t quite recall how you’d escaped, but you decided it wasn’t worth overthinking. You’d survived, right? That was all that mattered.
Later at Home
The familiar scent of food hit you as you walked through the door. Your stomach growled in response, reminding you that you hadn’t eaten since morning. Sol was in the kitchen, idly humming as he set down a plate on the counter. He didn’t look at you, his attention focused elsewhere.
“Food’s ready,” he said simply, his voice devoid of emotion.
“Thanks,” you replied, grabbing the plate without much thought. You caught a glimpse of him as you headed toward your room—he was hunched over the table, sketching something in his notebook. The silence between you was heavy, but you didn’t feel like breaking it.
Once inside your room, you locked the door behind you and plopped down on your bed. The plate balanced precariously on your lap as you mindlessly ate, your thoughts still scattered from the day’s events. Sol’s unusual quietness lingered in the back of your mind, but you brushed it off. He’s probably just sulking about something, like always.
You finished eating and set the empty plate on your bedside table. Lying back, you pulled out your phone again. The photo of the guy stared back at you, his aquamarine eyes boring into yours. You couldn’t help but shiver slightly.
“Guess I’ve got my ‘boyfriend,’” you muttered to yourself with a wry smile. The girls were going to love this.
The next day, you strutted into the campus with a newfound sense of pride, your phone clutched tightly in your hand. The image of the man’s piercing aquamarine eyes had become your badge of defiance against the girls who had bullied you. As they approached, the usual smug grins plastered on their faces, you decided it was time to strike.
“So, where’s your boyfriend’s picture?” one of them sneered, arms crossed.
“Oh, you mean this?” you said with a dramatic flourish, pulling out your phone and showing them the picture. Geo’s cold, intimidating gaze stared back at them. You almost felt sorry for them—almost.
Their smirks instantly dropped. One of the girls snatched the phone from your hand, staring at the screen in disbelief. “Wait... he’s your boyfriend?” she stammered, her voice laced with uncertainty.
“Yes,” you said smugly, crossing your arms. “He is. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like my phone back.”
They handed it over quickly, their attitudes doing a complete 180. “We didn’t know he was your boyfriend! We won’t bother you anymore!” one of them said, her tone almost apologetic.
You couldn’t help but chuckle, an exaggerated, evil laugh escaping your lips. “Hehehehehehe!” You turned and walked away, feeling like you’d just conquered the world. Metaphorically, your nose was growing like Pinocchio’s, but who cared? You’d earned this victory.
Later, at lunch, you bumped into Brittney, who waved you over enthusiastically. “Hey, you coming to the cafeteria today?” she asked, her usual sunny demeanor infectious.
“Why not?” you replied, shrugging. It would be nice to eat with someone who wasn’t Sol for a change.
You all sat down to eat, Brittney turned to you, a sly smile playing on her lips. “So... I’ve been hearing some rumors.”
You blinked at her. “Rumors?”
“Yeah, you know, about a certain someone being your boyfriend,” she said, wiggling her eyebrows.
Before you could answer, Crowe chimed in, “Speaking of someone, it’s been a while since Deryl and Geo hung out. Wonder what they’re up to?”
You raised an eyebrow. “Deryl and Geo? who are they?”
“Deryl’s great—kind as ever,” Crowe said with a grin. “Geo, though... well, he’s a piece of work. But don’t worry! He’s not as bad as he seems.”
You smiled faintly, unsure if you should feel reassured or not. Brittney, however, wasn’t letting the conversation shift away from the topic of your so-called boyfriend. “So, spill! Who is he?” she pressed.
With a dramatic flourish, you pulled out your phone and turned the screen toward her. The picture of the man filled the display, and you couldn’t help but add a smug, “Hehehehe!”
Brittney’s reaction was immediate. Her face fell, her cheerful expression replaced by something darker. “Wait... is this...?”
“What?” Jess leaned over to look, and her eyes widened in horror. “Oh my god.”
Crowe, curious about the fuss, leaned in as well. His usually calm demeanor cracked as his blue eyes sparkled with surprise. “You’re dating... him?”
All three of them screamed in unison, “YOU’RE DATING OUR GEO?!”
The cafeteria went silent, all eyes turning toward your table. You froze, your face flushing as you tried to stammer out a response.
Before you could say anything, two familiar figures entered the cafeteria: Deryl and Geo. Deryl looked as cheerful as ever, while Geo’s usual broody expression darkened as soon as his eyes landed on you.
“Geo!” Brittney yelled, pointing at him like he’d committed a crime. “You’re dating them?!”
The entire cafeteria erupted into whispers and murmurs, the tension in the air thick enough to cut with a knife. Geo’s aquamarine eyes flicked between you and the others, his expression unreadable.
You panicked. Before he could say a word, you grabbed his hand and bolted, dragging him out of the cafeteria as fast as your legs could carry you. Geo barely resisted, following behind with a mixture of shock and annoyance etched on his face.
“Wait—what the hell are you doing?” he hissed as you shoved open the door and pushed him outside.
“Just—just go with it!” you snapped, your voice a mix of desperation and embarrassment.
You stopped a few paces away from the building, finally letting go of his hand. Geo crossed his arms, his piercing gaze locked on you. “Care to explain what that was all about?”
You gulped, feeling the weight of his stare. “Um... it’s kind of a long story.”
“You-!" he said coldly, his tone daring you to try lying again.
The moment you finished explaining, you felt your heart pounding as Geo stared at you, his expression cold and unreadable. You swallowed hard, your nerves threatening to snap under his piercing aquamarine gaze. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean for it to get this out of hand. I won’t tell anyone else. Just… please don’t expose me. I’ll do whatever you want.”
Geo crossed his arms, his tall figure looming over you. His silence was more intimidating than any verbal berating. Finally, he let out a sharp sigh, the faintest trace of irritation flickering across his face. “You really are the most idiotic piece of shit,” he hissed, his voice low but cutting. “Photographing me, spreading rumors, telling people I’m your boyfriend—do you even think before you act?”
You flinched, clutching your phone tightly. “I’m really sorry! I didn’t mean—”
“Save it,” he cut you off, his tone icy. “Just stay out of my business from now on.” He turned as if to leave but paused, glancing back at you with narrowed eyes. “But… where did you even get that picture?”
Your mouth opened to respond, but suddenly, a memory bubbled to the surface. The sight of him standing there, broody and imposing, triggered something deep in your mind. “Wait…” you murmured, staring at him as if seeing him for the first time. “I’ve seen you before. I know you from somewhere.”
Geo’s eyes narrowed further, his body tensing. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“It’s you,” you said, your voice trembling with a mix of disbelief and excitement. “Subaru-kun… it’s really you, isn’t it?”
The name hit him like a bolt of lightning. Geo’s face shifted from annoyance to pure panic, his aquamarine eyes widening as he looked around. A few girls nearby, overhearing the conversation, started whispering.
“Subaru?” one of them muttered. “Isn’t his name Geo?”
Geo clicked his tongue, his sharp jaw tightening as he grabbed your wrist. “You,” he hissed under his breath, “shut up.” Without another word, he dragged you away, ignoring your protests as you stumbled after him.
“Wait! What are you—Geo, I mean Subaru, I—”
“Stop talking,” he snapped, his voice low and dangerous. His grip on your wrist wasn’t painful, but it was firm enough to keep you moving. He navigated through the campus like a man on a mission, his long legs making it hard for you to keep up.
When you finally reached a secluded area behind one of the buildings, he released your wrist and spun to face you. “Don’t ever call me that name again,” he said, his voice sharp enough to cut glass.
“But why—”
“Because that’s not who I am anymore,” he interrupted, his tone softer but still guarded. He raked a hand through his dark bluish-purple hair, his earrings catching the light as he turned his gaze away from you. “Got it?”
You stared at him, your chest tightening. The Subaru you remembered—kind, soft-spoken, always smiling—was so different from the man standing in front of you now. But even in his hostility, you could see fragments of the boy you used to play with, buried beneath layers of coldness and resentment. “It really is you,” you whispered, more to yourself than to him.
Geo sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You’re so damn persistent,” he muttered, his tone laced with exasperation. “Why couldn’t you just leave things alone?”
“I didn’t know it was you!” you defended, your voice rising slightly. “I just… I thought you looked familiar, and now I know why. We used to play together, remember? You and Hyugo and—”
“Enough.” His voice was sharp, but his aquamarine eyes betrayed a flicker of something—pain, maybe? “The past doesn’t matter. Not to me, and it shouldn’t to you, either.”
You bit your lip, unsure of what to say. The tension between you hung heavy in the air, the weight of unspoken memories and unresolved emotions pressing down on both of you. Finally, Geo straightened, his usual cold demeanor sliding back into place.
“Just… forget this happened,” he said, his tone more resigned than angry. “And stop dragging me into your messes.”
Before you could respond, he turned and started walking away, his long strides carrying him further and further from you. For a moment, you considered chasing after him, but something in his posture—rigid and unyielding—stopped you. Instead, you watched him disappear around the corner, the name “Subaru” lingering on the tip of your tongue like a forbidden word.
Your heart ached as you stood there, alone in the silence. It wasn’t just Geo who had changed—you realized, with a pang, that you had, too. And somehow, in the midst of all this chaos, you had stumbled back into each other’s lives. Whether that was a blessing or a curse, you weren’t sure yet.
Geo’s aquamarine eyes narrowed, frustration evident on his sharp, pale face. He crossed his arms and stared down at you as if you were the most infuriating puzzle he’d ever encountered. “You really don’t know when to stop, do you?” he said, his tone icy and cutting. “First, you drag me into this whole boyfriend nonsense, and now I’m stuck dealing with your idiotic face. You’re just like Hyugo—always causing problems I never asked for.”
His words hit like a slap. You blinked, trying to keep your composure, but the sting of his insult made your chest tighten. “I didn’t mean to,” you murmured, your voice trembling. “I’m sorry.”
Geo scoffed, clicking his tongue in irritation. “Sorry doesn’t fix anything,” he snapped. He stepped closer, his tall frame looming over you, and tilted your chin up with a surprisingly firm yet gentle hand, forcing you to look into his aquamarine eyes. “You’re the one who got us into this mess,” he hissed, his voice low and dangerous. “And the only reason I’m even this nice to you is because, unfortunately, you’re someone I used to know. You haven’t done anything wrong—yet. But keep pushing, and we’ll see.”
His sharp words were laced with venom, but there was something else in his gaze—a flicker of restraint, as though he were holding back more than just his temper. Your breath hitched under the intensity of his stare, and you bit your lip, looking away. “It’s fine,” you said quietly. “I’ll fix it. I’ll tell everyone it was a lie. I’m sorry for bothering you.”
You turned to leave, your head low, but Geo’s voice stopped you in your tracks. “Wait.”
You froze, glancing back at him hesitantly. His expression was still hard, but his aquamarine eyes had softened, just a fraction. He exhaled sharply, running a hand through his bluish-purple hair, his earrings swaying slightly with the movement. “There’s no point in fixing it now,” he muttered, almost to himself. “The damage is done. And if I’m being honest, it might actually work in my favor.”
“What?” you asked, genuinely confused.
Geo’s lips pressed into a thin line, as though he hated every word he was about to say. “This school is full of shitty people,” he began, his voice laced with irritation. “Love letters piling up at the end of the year, girls stalking me, and way too much work to deal with. If pretending to be your boyfriend gets them off my back, I’ll do it.”
Your jaw dropped. “You’re kidding, right?”
He fixed you with a deadpan stare. “Do I look like I’m kidding?”
You blinked, your mind racing. Geo—cold, broody, terrifying Geo—was offering to pretend to be your boyfriend. “I don’t understand,” you said slowly. “You hate me, and now you’re offering to help?”
“I don’t hate you,” he said, though his tone wasn’t exactly reassuring. “I hate the situation you dragged me into. But if it gives me some damn solitude, it’s worth it.”
You opened your mouth to respond, but no words came out. This didn’t feel real—Geo, the guy who seemed to hate everyone and everything, willingly offering to go along with your mess? It was the last thing you expected.
“Don’t overthink it,” he said, his tone sharp, as if reading your mind. “This isn’t about you. It’s about me, and keeping people away from me. Got it?”
You nodded slowly, still trying to process everything. “Got it.”
“Good.” He stepped back, shoving his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. “But don’t push your luck. If you do anything stupid, this deal’s off.”
“I won’t,” you said quickly. “I promise.”
Geo rolled his eyes, clearly unconvinced. “Whatever. Just try not to embarrass me more than you already have.” Without another word, he turned and walked away, his long strides carrying him out of sight.
You stood there for a moment, replaying the conversation in your mind. Geo, of all people, pretending to be your boyfriend? It was so absurd you almost laughed. Almost.
But as you thought about his offer, you couldn’t help but feel a small flicker of hope. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.
The weight of everything from the day was making your head spin. You had barely registered the final bell ringing, signaling the end of classes, before you packed your things in a rush. There was so much pressure on you, too much. You wanted to thank Geo for the ridiculous arrangement, but the reality of it was starting to sink in, and it was suffocating. You just needed to escape, get away from everyone, clear your head.
But as you stuffed your notebook into your bag, you heard Crowe’s voice behind you. “Hey, can we talk for a second?”
You paused, turning to look at him, a little surprised by his sudden approach. “What’s up?” you asked, trying to mask the anxiety twisting in your stomach.
Crowe shifted on his feet, his expression a little more serious than usual. “It’s about you and Geo...”
Before he could go any further, someone at the door interrupted, their voice cutting through the air. “He’s waiting for you.”
You froze. He? You glanced towards the classroom door, and there, standing in the hallway, was Geo. His aquamarine eyes were focused somewhere off in the distance, looking as uninterested as ever, yet there he was—waiting.
A strange feeling tugged at your chest. Was this really happening? You’d expected him to be cold, but to actually see him waiting for you like this was a different kind of surreal.
Crowe raised an eyebrow, a small smirk tugging at his lips as he looked at you. “Looks like someone’s waiting, huh?”
You swallowed hard, your pulse racing. You nodded, but your voice barely escaped. “Yeah, I guess so…”
With that, you made your way to the door, feeling your feet move like they were carrying you toward your fate. As you approached Geo, you couldn’t help but wonder: Was he really waiting for you, or was this some sort of joke? You were bracing yourself for his usual stony indifference.
“Geo?” you asked hesitantly. “Are you… waiting for me?”
He didn’t answer right away. Instead, he looked at you, his face expressionless, his stance relaxed but distant. For a split second, you thought maybe this was a chance for him to act sweeter, to at least pretend to play along with the whole boyfriend act. You almost expected him to give you a teasing smile, some playful banter. But then, everything changed in a flash.
Without warning, he reached out and pinched your side, hard. A sharp pain shot through you, and you gasped, immediately feeling the sting of his fingers digging into your skin.
“You should’ve waited for me,” he scolded, his voice low and cold, but with a noticeable edge of annoyance.
You winced, holding your side where he pinched you, and instinctively, you apologized. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to—”
Geo’s eyes narrowed, his face still unreadable. “Tch. Whatever. Let’s go.”
He didn’t even wait for you to respond, immediately turning and walking toward the exit. You stood there, momentarily stunned, before scrambling to catch up to him. The moment the words left his mouth, you realized just how much control he had in this situation.
You hurriedly walked behind him, your heart pounding as you struggled to keep up with his brisk pace. The silence between you both was almost unbearable, the weight of the earlier events and his cold reaction weighing heavily on you. You had expected something—anything—that resembled affection, but instead, all you were left with was his cold indifference.
Geo walked ahead, you felt something stirring deep within you—a mix of frustration, confusion, and a strange pull toward him. You didn’t know why, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were both stuck in this weird dance together.
Brittney and Jess were sitting together, the usual buzz of the cafeteria surrounding them as they spoke in hushed tones, exchanging glances. They couldn't believe it—Geo, Geo, of all people, was actually dating someone. It was almost surreal.
“I just... I don’t get it,” Jess murmured, her voice still tinged with disbelief. “How can someone as... scary as him be in a relationship? Like, who could handle that? He’s so intimidating.”
Brittney glanced at her, raising an eyebrow. “You really think he doesn’t care? Maybe he’s just... hard to read? I don’t know, maybe someone’s actually getting through to him.”
“Who knows? Someone has to be changing him,” said with a small frown. “I just... I can’t see him acting this way for no reason. There’s no way someone could stay that icy without something or someone... breaking through.”
Before they could dive deeper into their thoughts, Deryl walked into the cafeteria with his usual carefree stride, scanning the room for his friends. As soon as he spotted them, he made his way over, looking a little too smug for anyone’s liking.
“Hey, where’s Geo?” Deryl asked, looking around as though Geo had just disappeared off the face of the Earth.
“Ah, Geo?” Brittney started, her voice flat and disinterested, though her mind was still buzzing. “He went with his... partner.”
Deryl blinked, the news landing on him like a slap to the face. “Partner?” he echoed, eyes wide with shock. “He actually has a partner?”
Brittney nodded curtly. “Yeah. I’m guessing that’s what’s happening. Can’t say I expected it.”
Deryl’s jaw nearly dropped. “Wait, wait, wait—hold on. Geo? Dating someone? But... he’s the I'm happy for my pal!"
Jess looked a little uncomfortable at Deryl’s outburst, glancing at Brittney for reassurance. She cleared her throat. “I mean, I guess if someone’s able to get through to him, that’s... impressive?”
Deryl was still in shock. “But—who could handle him?” His eyes widened as if the very idea of someone taming the chaos that was Geo was too much to fathom. “He’s... so unpredictable, so intense. Who even—”
Brittney, sensing Deryl’s struggle to process, gave him a knowing smirk. “Maybe Geo does have a heart, after all. Strange, right?”
Deryl’s response was instant, his face lighting up with a smirk of his own. “Pfft, Geo having a heart? Nah, he’s a cat. Cats are stubborn and difficult to deal with, but deep down, they’ve got their moments. They can be soft when they want to be, but don’t expect them to show it all the time.”
The idea of Geo being a "cat" seemed to hit a nerve with the group, causing them to laugh despite themselves. Deryl’s tone had been teasing, but there was a strange sense of truth to it. Geo, with all his aloofness and cold demeanor, was a little like a cat—moody, hard to figure out, but once he trusted someone, he was loyal in his own way.
Brittney nodded slowly, her lips curling into a half-smile. “I guess... but a cat? You’ve got a point. He’s certainly got his claws out all the time.”
Jess, who had been quiet up until now, shrugged. “I don’t know. I just... can’t picture it. I mean, it’s hard to imagine him with someone. But hey, maybe that’s the thing. Maybe he’s just... waiting for the right person to bring him out of his shell.”
Deryl leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms, still processing everything. “I guess. If someone can get him to soften up, then maybe he’s not as messed up as he looks. Who knows? He’s got a reputation, but... maybe it’s not all bad.”
The group fell into a thoughtful silence for a moment. Geo was a mystery to everyone, but now that he was involved with someone—someone—it added another layer to his already complex persona. The idea of him being soft or affectionate in any way still seemed so foreign, but with everything they’d learned about him, it was becoming increasingly clear that there was more to Geo than met the eye.
They continued to ponder Geo’s strange relationship status, the sound of footsteps in the hallway interrupted their thoughts. It was a loud thud followed by a voice calling out, and before they knew it, Deryl turned his head toward the door.
Geo, the ever-distant, ever-aloof figure, walked in with that same cool, expressionless demeanor. His eyes scanned the room before locking onto you. And despite everything he had said, despite his cold exterior, there was something about the way he carried himself that made it clear—he wasn’t going to let anyone push him around. He was here to stay, and no matter what anyone thought, you were with him now.
Brittney and Jess exchanged glances as they watched him approach, and even though they had their reservations about Geo, they couldn’t help but wonder—was this the side of him they had yet to see?
The questions and the mysteries about Geo only seemed to multiply, but one thing was certain—he wasn’t just a “cat” or an intimidating figure anymore. He was someone with more layers, and those who cared to look close enough were going to see them, one way or another.
Next day
Lunchtime came, and as expected, you found yourself seated next to Geo at the lunch table, a situation you never could have imagined. His friends had planned it—no doubt to make things even more awkward for you. There you were, sitting beside him, unsure of what to even say or do. It was supposed to be a casual lunch, right? But it was far from it.
You had brought a soda with you, offering it to Geo in a small, kind gesture, hoping that maybe it’d be a step toward a more comfortable moment between you two. But instead of accepting it, Geo looked at you—dead in the eyes—and gave you his water bottle without saying a word.
“W-What?” You blinked, unsure of what just happened. Was he messing with you? You looked at the water bottle in your hand, feeling an awkward lump form in your throat. What was this? Why was he acting like this?
You took a sip, trying not to feel too frustrated. There was nothing to do but follow the silent pattern of your lunch together. You ate your food slowly, almost like a dog eating scraps, feeling small in your chair. The taste of the food was bland, but you didn't mind. It didn’t matter much anymore, did it?
You ate, your gaze wandered around, and then you noticed it—most of the girls in the cafeteria had their eyes on you. You felt an uncomfortable shiver crawl up your spine as you tried not to look up, not wanting to attract more attention. Why were they staring? What was going on?
Before you could figure it out, two girls suddenly came and sat next to you. Their eyes were full of curiosity, and they wasted no time in asking, “So, how’s Geo doing?”
Geo remained silent, not even looking at them, his face as impassive as ever. Then, without warning, he took your hand—his fingers lightly curling around yours—and stood up. You froze for a second, not sure if you were imagining this. Was he really doing this?
His hand in yours felt warm, and you couldn't help but feel a strange sense of comfort wash over you. “What?” you asked, almost whispering in disbelief, your eyes locking with his. “Your hand…”
He barely glanced at you before answering in his usual cold tone, “Let’s stay like this for a while.”
Your heart skipped a beat. You felt... happy. It was unexpected, sure, but there was something about the closeness that made you forget about the strange situation. Maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t as cold as he always appeared. Or maybe you were just imagining things, holding on to a fleeting hope.
But then, his next words crushed that tiny bit of hope you had managed to build. “My friends are watching,” he said coldly, his voice cutting through the moment like ice.
You looked behind you instinctively, and there they were—the familiar heads of his friends, staring at the two of you with intense curiosity. Your heart sank, and you couldn’t stop yourself from glancing back at your intertwined hands. There it was again, that feeling from childhood, that strange sense of familiarity, the way you and Geo used to be when you were younger.
It was unnatural to let go now, wasn’t it? You couldn’t bring yourself to pull your hand away. Maybe it was that part of you that longed for something—anything—that felt real and lasting, even if it was tied to a lie. But looking back at the stares, you felt uneasy. Geo’s friends watching, the girls eyeing you, the weight of the lie hanging over you like a cloud.
In that moment, you realized that this... whatever it was between you and Geo, wasn’t real. Not in the way you wanted it to be. It was a performance, a farce, an act for everyone else. And as much as you didn’t want to admit it, you were just as much a part of it as he was.
But the strange feeling still lingered. The warmth of his hand, the memories from when you were younger, the sudden pull toward him despite everything. It was like your childhood self had never really let go, and now, you had no choice but to face the consequences of holding on to something that could never be.
Geo dragged you into a quiet corner of the school building, away from the prying eyes of his friends and the girls who seemed to be watching your every move. The hallway was eerily silent, the distant murmur of voices from the cafeteria fading into the background. He finally let go of your hand, and you flexed your fingers, still feeling the lingering warmth from his grip.
“It should be safe now,” he muttered, his voice low and cold.
You looked at him, feeling awkward as you rubbed the back of your neck. “Geo, I—”
“Shut up,” he snapped, cutting you off sharply. His aquamarine eyes glared at you, and you froze on the spot.
“But—”
Before you could finish, he flicked his finger against your forehead with surprising force. “Ow!” you yelped, covering the sore spot with your hand, your eyes wide with disbelief. “What was that for?”
He crossed his arms, his expression unamused. “I told you to shut up. You’re part of this mess now, so just deal with it.”
You blinked, staring at him. “But—”
“If you disobey me and try to make excuses again,” he interrupted, his tone sharper than before, “I’m not tolerating it. Do you understand me?” His gaze was intense, pinning you to the spot.
You hesitated, fidgeting under his scrutiny. He was so harsh, but… it wasn’t just anger, was it? There was something else in the way he spoke, a strange sort of protectiveness, even if it was buried under layers of frustration. “Geo…” you murmured softly, trying to find the right words. “You… you’ve done so much for me. Even though all those rumors say you’re dangerous and scary, you’re…”
He raised an eyebrow, looking almost annoyed. “What?”
You swallowed nervously, barely managing a smile as you finished, “You’re just… a moody little neko…”
There was a pause—a heavy, awkward silence—as Geo processed what you’d just said. His expression shifted from confusion to utter disbelief, and then his usual scowl returned in full force.
“A what?” he growled, leaning closer to you, his intimidating presence making you shrink back slightly.
“I-I mean, it’s kind of cute how you care in your own way!” you stammered, waving your hands defensively. “Not that I’m saying you’re actually a neko or anything! Just that—”
“Shut. Up.” He snapped his fingers in front of your face again, and you flinched. “Don’t even finish that sentence.”
You bit your lip, trying to hold back a nervous laugh. He was so serious, so moody, and yet… you couldn’t help but find it endearing. Maybe it was foolish, but despite his sharp words and cold demeanor, you felt oddly safe with him. Like, under all that hostility, there was someone who actually cared, even if he’d rather flick your forehead than admit it.
THIS ISN'T WORKING! MAYBE YOU SHOULD FIND A REAL BOYFRIEND SO- HAHAHAHHA, MAYBE HE WILL NOT GET HIT!
#the kid at the back vn#tkatb#tkatb sol#the kid at the back sol#visual novel#tkatb x reader#the kid at the back x reader#solivan brugmansia#hyugo sugimoto#Geo oogami#Subaru oogami#tkatb geo#the kid at the back geo#tkatb geo x reader#the kid at the back crowe#tkatb vn#geo oogami
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Weight of the World
Alonza, an Oath of the Ancients paladin, desperately wants to convince Halsin that he deserves all the love in the world. Aka Act 3 bonus romance scenes my brain invented to resolve outstanding character trauma weeee~ Named for BRMC's song "Weight of the World"... because Halsin.
Tags updated with new chapters.
Chapter 1: Let the Master Become the Student
“Did you wait to tell me that you wanted me… because you thought, somehow, you didn’t deserve to be happy while the shadow curse lingered?” -Alonza
"Every straight-laced, tight-assed paladin could benefit from a sweaty, semi-feral bear-man willing to help him unleash his inner freak." - Astarion
#I know it's not cool to use your actual oc in fanfic anymore#but I'm old school so whatever y'all#take the smut or leave it#there will be lots more#my brain is gonna make up the story anyhow#might as well write it down#this is what happens when there's unresolved character trauma#I literally cannot help myself#fanfiction#my fanfiction#fanfic#bg3 fic#bg3 smut#bg3 fanfiction#halsin silverbough#halsin x tav#halsin x m!tav#halsin x oc#alonza#my tav#ao3#halsin stan#give him more romance scenes or I will#oh wait too late
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There’s actual racism in the game in Davrin’s portrayal as not his own character but a caregiver to a fantasy cat, but sure ig we can argue about some of the only compelling dysfunction written into the game by design where everything else is sanitized down into easily chewable marketable bits and “rah rah go team” characterization
#include necessary disclaimer about how I enjoyed veilguard here because any criticism is assumed to automatically mean you hated the game#not everything has to be portrayed as ‘healthy’ and ‘well adjusted’#lucanis and Neve are by design traumatized messes and it only gets worse BY DESIGN for one of them when their city falls#acknowledging the fact that they are hardened (literally a game mechanic for trauma and unresolved issues) is not automatic hate#I want the mess !!! the mess is fun and interesting !!!#you’re ruining it with the whole ‘everything is fine actually you’re just (not actually) racist’#there are people actually hating Neve for no reason and you’re up in arms over people who are—lemme check my notes—analyzing things that#actually happen in game? mechanics of the game and their storyline implications?#boo get outta the tag!#conflict and problems and people having all around Bad Times are what makes a story a story imagine that#actual racism includes: davrin…p much every writing decision made for his character#people erasing the fact that Lucanis isn’t white#people being hyper critical of Neve for things that don’t make sense or where they let other characters off the hook#racism does not include: mentioning Actual Writing Choices that were made and included in game
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Adding Tension After the Ship Happens
i feel a lot of slow burn ships lose steam after the characters finally get together, whether it's just from sleeping together or them actually engaging in a relationship, so here are some ideas for how to maintain steam.
their problems are not solved now that they've crossed the thresh hold
first things first, the plot itself i'm sure has other details than just their relationship. even the most fluffy of fluff has other things going on than kisses and giggles. don't abandon these details once the relationship truly begins. and if there was any kind of unresolved tension point or previously mentioned ex/trauma/insecurity/fear bring it back! bring things back around that might put a strain on a new, tender relationship. this can either make them have problems or be a way to develop their bonds and *show* it in action. any of these foreshadowing/resurrected points can be added in edits if you didn't start out with them or with retconning if you're writing rp/fanfic. all the writers do it. we see it in tv everyday it's ok if u gotta pull a rabbit from a hat.
their relationship will not be suddenly smooth and solid as if they have been married 20 years
okay they kissed/fucked/agreed to be together. now what? what circumstances kept them from getting there sooner? are those circumstances still present and how will they deal with it as a team? you also don't have to have characters officially together once they've done something physical. there is still discussion to be had and boundaries/expectations to establish. those conversations could be interesting to explore. and, even more-so, this is the perfect point for plot to happen and keep them from being able to have those conversations when they should. you can add angst, you can add miscommunication, you can add anything that tickles your fancy. especially a perfect time to have an ex return to cause some tension and uncertainty if they haven't made it official. they don't know what they are yet and that uncertainty is a delicious point to write it and really give the characters a hard time
utilize the main plot's tension
again, if you're writing more than just a contemporary fluffy romance, the romance should enrich the main plot. the romance as a subplot should be a component which merges with the main storyline and does not take away from it. if you don't want to milk the will-they-won't-they anymore than you already have it's time to build the relationship up in the midst of OUTSIDE conflict. let them disagree about how to resolve problems. let them butt heads. let them be scared and do and say stupid shit because they're scared. let them be worried or angry or frustrated and have to figure out how to balance their newfound vulnerability with who they are and were before that point. let them hurt each other a little so they can come back together stronger.
utilize the characters around them
if it is a plot which is mainly romance filled, then think about the tension from the lives around them. think about their loved ones and how their own issues could influence the plot points the characters have to face together. this could be a time for them to be introduced to loved ones. you could throw in a group trip with silly mishaps and shenanigans. you could even have loved ones try to break them up or doubt the love interest. navigating new relationships while also dealing with friends and family can be a source of plot and tension in and of itself. this can be a point to let love interests reassure each other and prove their salt. it can help them grow closer. it can be the heroic moment for one of them to stick up for the other or prove they're there for them no matter what.
overall if you're struggling with what to do after the slow burn feels like it's sizzling out it's time to zoom out. make sure you are not losing the whole picture of their environment or steamrolling past the real development of new relationships.
#writing tools#on writing#writing#writeblr#writing process#writing community#writer things#creative writing#writing advice#ao3#rp advice#writing inspiration#writer inspiration
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"Jotaro Kujo is Weak at His Core"
As a writer and avid character psycho-analyzer, I find this concept fascinating because I wholeheartedly agree with what OP has quoted from a "What opinion would get the community to do this? *Insert Johnny getting torn apart*" post.
Before I begin, I know some people will see this, misread it, and immediately say "lmao did we watch the same show? He's strong, badass, and can kick anyone's ass. Like do you know Star Platinum bro?". Trust me, I've seen the replies to this post and they said this same exact thing.
And I'm here to say that to said people, if you truly are not the illiterates I'd like to term you as, you'd take the time to realize that when we say "he's weak", we're not referring to his physical prowess because we know he's one of the strongest characters in the show.
If you don't like to, then you're just proving the accuracy of the last sentence: "You can't stand seeing your edgy badass image of Jotaro as vulnerable."
Pushing that aside, I'd like to expand on OP's opinion/headcanon with some depth to it and explain how exactly he's "weak" outside of being a skilled and strategic fighter.
I've learned that to be holistically healthy, one needs to develop and maintain all optimal functions of oneself: Physical, Emotional, Social, and Mental.
Obviously, Jotaro excels in the physical category. He's conventionally attractive, taller than the average male population, well-defined with a muscled build, fit as hell, street and book smart, and highly in tune with his environment making him adaptable in any circumstance.
He's "strong" in that aspect we all know at a superficial level.
However, we start to see the core problem once we strip this good-hearted man of his physical appeal:
Emotional? He believes he doesn't need to express them to others because why should he. He refuses to process them and instead keeps them behind a locked wall of stoicism and aloofness.
Social? Can't communicate to save his life. He's reclusive and doesn't know how to socialize outside of work. Guarded and skeptical around others. Too much of a workaholic to bother making new acquaintances (if he even knows how) outside of familial connections.
Mental? At 17, he went on a death crusade over Asia and the Middle East, almost died numerous times, and most likely lived with unresolved PTSD that carried over into adulthood, and further deteriorated his already poor social and emotional skills.
What do we have then? If we look past that powerful exterior of a man, we have inappropriate emotional expression, poor socialization, and constant fatigue of dealing with bullshit that relates to his trauma.
And this is what we mean by his "core": His mindset. His inner machinations. The soft spot his enemies would need to target in order to defeat or kill him, strategy-wise.
I. Emotional
We pretty much already know how this man handles emotions. And this may come off as "irrelevant" to the dudebros and the meme riders who believe "haha feelings are for pussies, I advocate for edgy autistic Florida man who don't give a fuck, elopes with dolphins, and berates women".
But believe it or not, he has them, just like any other human being on the planet. I said it once and I'll say it again: Not everyone will wear their heart on their sleeves. Some will convey emotions publicly with no issue, while others would prefer to keep to themselves.
But how does this contribute to him being "weak" at his core?
Essentially, it's similar to how someone with depression may behave (not everyone, some of them). One may appear friendly, sunny, and bubbly to everyone around them, not knowing they're actually suffering from a void that eats them up from the inside when alone.
For his case, it may look like he doesn't care about what happens to him and everyone around him, considering his nonchalant and aloof behavior, but beneath that cold exterior, he cares way too much for his family, friends, and allies. He feels too much to the point where once his allies are endangered, he would sacrifice his well-being without a second thought.
And that's an issue to him.
To him, emotions make him vulnerable and in his circumstance where enemies are actively hunting him down trying to find his weak spots, his emotions should be kept behind doors because he doesn't know how to regulate it on the outside so it's either total stoicism or lashing out.
I found someone saying this line about him that fits him so well: "He's a good person who doesn't know how to be a good person."
This is a man who means well and truly wants to help out of the goodness of his heart, but because of his inability to convey his emotions properly and is unable to pick up emotional cues, it can lead to shit tons of misunderstandings due to inappropriate tone & expression, and that can change how someone views him in the long run, thus leading to unintended deterioration of personal relationships (which contribute to the social aspect of his weakness).
I found a visual representation of what I just said above. Just to give context: The show is about a married couple who struggles to keep their relationship afloat, having to navigate through family politics, work & life balance, and miscommunications so they could find why they loved each other in the first place.
The emotionally-reserved character here with the poor communication skills is the girl. She's a CEO who just received a call, came out from work, and meets with her husband, asking him to accompany her to a doctor's appointment.
Observe how she thinks she views herself VS how others actually view her as.
Other's POV: Demanding, brash, and insensitive Her POV: Anxious, hesitant, and confused
Now remember what Araki had written about Jotaro? "He doesn't believe he must reveal his emotions to others because he thinks everyone can figure him out, leading him to be a victim of misunderstandings. Others think him to be cold-hearted, rebellious, and insensitive."
II. Social
With emotions as our base foundation to poor communication skills, this leads us to his weak socialization aspect.
In a recent quote reblog about how he was raised as a child may have contributed to his tough persona, I mentioned something about his need of "Security".
Growing up, it was mostly just him and his sweet pacifist mother Holly. Joseph couldn't have visited often (he hates Japan) and his dad is a busy musician with a packed schedule on tour. As a kid up to early adolescence, he was coddled by his mother and raised as a good student. Everything was going great for him.
[In popular headcanon] Once he passed puberty, the change to his Part 3 MC era began. People began picking fights with him and bullying him, and he began to see the world as a threat to his safety. Knowing his mother, he wouldn't rely on her to defend him against these dangers. She was too kind, too friendly, too loving for her to deal with the harsh life he now has to deal with.
So he had to be the stronger one for both of them. He already had the physical attributes for it, so why not use it to his advantage?
He got on the popular delinquent trend back in 80's Japan, integrated a couple of cool masculine-esque personalities as his own from his favorite Western and Crime media, and is then able to project this menacing aura everyone should be afraid of, to ward potential threats away from him and his mother.
But Mijin, how does this make him weak? What does this have to do with his need for security?
Think about it: The poor guy's already introverted, doesn't feel comfortable with his emotions that he can't express properly, and now he has to be skeptical with people around him because he realized how shitty society can be, which leads to intimidation that wards off not only potential foes but potential friends as well, making it look like he's anti-social.
On the outside, people are likely to think that he likes being this way when in reality, he seeks a reliable support system on which he can lean onto. Everyone with a sound mind wants that subconsciously because we are social creatures. It's part of our nature.
He's constantly fearful of his surroundings, growing even more vigilant as he ages, but he doesn't look afraid because he chooses to put on a brave face to challenge said fears instead of acknowledging he's scared. I read somewhere in an ask that's not mine that in the manga, some panels actually depict Jotaro shaking/trembling in a mix of fear and adrenaline during some of his fights.
He wants to be around people who he can trust. People who he can lower his defenses with. People who are capable of protecting him just as he is capable of protecting them. People who can face his intimidating aura and challenge it to stand on equal grounds with him or to remind him of his place when he goes too far with certain things. Hence, why he seems comfortable being with the Crusaders.
For once, he wants to feel safe.
To not feel like he has to be this strong pillar of hope that everyone depends on.
To be someone being protected, instead of the other way around where he was always the strong protector. He wants a life of normalcy where he can just be a marine biologist and a professor with a loving family he can come home to.
But that can't happen. The inner circle of friends he counted on is either dead or far away, leaving him even more fearful of the world around him. This results in even more guarded skepticism, always watchful of who's an enemy Stand user and what their Stand could do. Because of his cautious nature, this leads to minimized socialization with others.
With little to no solid support system he can count on, he has no one he feels completely secure with because he believes danger will always come to hurt and/or kill those near him. He doesn't want to burden others with the issues & responsibilities of dealing with Stand users. He wants them to live the normal life he could no longer have.
He doesn't trust in the capabilities of his loved ones when it comes to defending themselves against the amount of potential threats and dangers he has faced, and yet he cares about them dearly. So, he commits to what seems to be the most practical solution in his mind: Self-Isolation.
To be a distant beacon where danger is attracted to and away from those dear to him.
(As we see in the beginning of Part 3 where he willingly locks himself in jail as soon as he sees himself as the threat, and in Part 6 where he stays away from his family once he realizes his enemies were targeting him).
"Your family is your weakness."
All this leads him to become what Araki always envisioned him to be: A lone hero.
III. Mental
Now onto the last part, this part of the essay will focus more on the popular headcanon the community has made about him: "Jotaro has PTSD."
Considering what he's been through at only 17, it would be no surprise that he'd acquired major trauma after those 50 days. Think about it- he gets injured more times than he can count, almost dies numerous times, sees his grandfather get "killed" in front of him, and all this combined with the constant reminder that his mother's life is also on a time limit. A failure to kill DIO meant a failure to save Holly.
The amount of pressure and risk he had to endure for her (and there will still be people who adamantly believe that he hated Holly because he said "bitch" to her twice in the first two episodes).
Now, remember when I said about him having this mentality of over-independence when dealing with stressors? It was still manageable during Stardust Crusaders, but because of what had transpired in Cairo, that mindset carries on to the rest of his adulthood, more so if we consider that he most likely didn't get any therapy or treatment for his trauma.
It might be normal for a teenager to hold onto this stubborn notion of "I can do this by myself" and be casual about it, but with trauma now involved, that notion warps into a persisting belief of "by doing this myself, no one else will get hurt" (i.e. refusing help, doing solo fieldwork, self-isolation).
But Mijin, you keep saying "mentality" this, "mindset" that. What are you talking about?
There's an old Tumblr post I found that talks specifically about this in great detail, but to put it shortly: Jotaro has always wanted to do things by himself because he believes that not only will the task be done with, there would be no one else involved with it, making it better for him to cope mentally if ever shit hits the fan (tying back to poor emotional expression and insecurity in bonds).
If any injuries were to be inflicted, he would be the one to receive them, and he alone, because who knows how he'll react and/or cope when his allies are harmed instead of him over and over again? (refer to the trauma of Jotaro surviving Cairo while the majority of the team that went with him died a.k.a "survivor's guilt")
(Also, refer to how he had exhibited great distress when Jolyne was about to be struck by a rain of knives that Pucci sent)
This might also be the reason why he's more self-sacrificial as an adult: Will be the bait during the rat episode instead of Josuke, takes the brunt of Sheer Heart Attack's explosion to spare Koichi, dives straight onto a path of bullets to save Jolyne, etc.
The only possible solution so he could snap out of that belief he holds on to is that strong, reliable support system he internally needs. People who can help him without sustaining fatal injuries in the process [social]. People who he can approach to release any pent-up frustrations and inner conflicts [emotional].
If he had found those people, then he might have been able to deal and/or cope with his trauma better instead of letting it linger and change his outlook in life [mental].
But we all know how his life went in canon. One moment he's a kid playing ball with his mother, then in his last, he dies by having his head bisected by a time-altering Stand.
Jotaro is a person with a gold heart and a rough exterior. Someone who wants to help and protect his loved ones from the unpredictability of the world the best that he can. But even then, his best wasn't enough. His fear was masked with an air of strength and capability, perhaps as compensation for everything else he lacked:
Adequate processing of emotions.
Stable connection with familial, platonic, and romantic bonds.
A sound mindset that stems from effective coping for his PTSD.
We could only hope in headcanon land that he had a better chance at life in the Ireneverse where he finally could develop his inner core better and get that long-deserved break he had always wanted.
#can't you already tell I love this man?#not in a romantic yumeship sense but in a “let me study you under the microscope” sense#mischaracterize my pookie and you'll hear me thundering through the streets#jojos bizarre adventure#jjba#jotaro kujo#mijin thoughts
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How can you reconcile being a fan of Snape and defending him so much, while also knowing about the terrible attitude he has as an adult toward his students? This isn’t a malicious question,I’m genuinely curious
I don’t justify Severus’ behavior, I simply understand it. And it’s not for the typical reasons like Harry being a copy of James, or Neville being clumsy, or Hermione being insufferable in class, or just because he can’t stand kids. I understand it because, in my view, Severus is still very much a child.
Take Sirius, for example. We can all see that being locked up in Azkaban for so many years essentially froze his life at a young age, so even though he’s old enough to have grey hairs down there, he still acts like a childish, immature person a lot of the time. And well, that’s exactly what Sirius is—an immature kid. He never had the opportunity to have experiences or grow throughout his twenties. Maturity doesn’t come with age alone but through everything we go through during that time and the experiences that shape us. Without those experiences, there’s nothing to build on.
Severus’ case is different from Sirius’, but it also stems from a lack of maturity and the inability to grow. Severus was a victim of violence from childhood, and that violence didn’t end—it continued throughout his school years. After all that torment, instead of leaving Hogwarts, telling everyone to screw off, and starting a new life where he could rebuild emotionally, he ends up trapped in the same school, playing a role to maintain his cover with pureblood families and burdened with having practically sold his soul to Dumbledore. He has no space to heal, no tools to work through his traumas, and no safe, healthy environment to grow into an adult. Severus is stuck in his adolescence, haunted by his past, his traumas, and totally incapable of managing his most visceral emotions. Sure, he’s great at faking it, acting indifferent, and wearing a mask to hide what’s going on inside. But just because he’s good at repressing doesn’t mean he’s good at managing his emotions, because in that regard, he fails completely. I mean, there are so many moments throughout the saga where Severus gets triggered, and every time it happens, his serious, unflappable façade crumbles, and he acts like a kid throwing a tantrum, someone with unresolved anger issues. That’s when you see that, deep down, he doesn’t know how to handle himself, which makes sense because he never had the chance to do so. We’re talking about an abuse victim who, instead of processing and exorcising his demons, had to lock them away and throw away the key—literally the last thing you should do when dealing with trauma.
What I’m getting at is that, on one hand, it’s reasonable to expect an adult to act like an adult. But on the other hand, as I grew older, went through years of therapy, and worked with people who come from messed-up backgrounds and have lived through terrible things, when I revisited the series and saw certain scenes where Severus is being an absolute jerk to his students, I didn’t just see an adult acting out. I saw the teenager he once was, insecure, feeling worthless, scared in the hallways. And now, for the first time, he’s in a position of power where he can say what he thinks and lash out without consequences. It’s not an adult acting here—it’s a kid who never grew up, trying to have the moment of glory he never had. It’s incredibly childish. And I have to say, I really like this aspect of his character because it’s so consistent with his backstory, even though it’s clearly irresponsible and abusive.
Severus shouldn’t be a teacher because someone who hasn’t matured, grown, or healed can’t be a role model, nor do they have the tools to properly handle situations where it’s so easy to project their insecurities and abuse their authority to compensate for their own shortcomings. But we can’t really expect anything else from him—if he were a well-adjusted adult, it would make him an unrealistic character. It’s impossible for someone with his background, without professional help and many years of personal work, to function properly in an environment like that.
#harry potter meta#severus snape#pro severus snape#severus snape defense#severus snape fandom#snapedom#growing ass childs are my faves#sorry not sorry
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Garnet's biggest flaw
So I’ve seen many people in the fandom state that Garnet has no flaws or virtually no flaws outside her co-dependence in the form of Ruby and Sapphire. But that’s not true.
No character is perfect and Garnet is no exception as she carries with her some fundamental flaws that I find interesting exploring. In fact, her flaws are in a way very ironic to her character.
Btw she’s an excellent character and this is by no means to discredit her or anything. If anything, I think it’s good that characters have flaws and aren’t perfect as it gives depth to them, and SU is all about not putting anyone on a pedestal.
(There is a TLDR at the end)
Garnet is bad at communicating
Despite often preaching about the importance of communication in any relationship, Garnet has major trouble in this department.
Even after Garnet opens up later on in the seasons, she still struggles in this aspect.
There are many times where Garnet doesn’t explain a thing to others like Steven, and because of this lack of communication, he ends in trouble. In fact, Garnet often resorts to letting her actions speak for her.
And with Steven in particular, someone who needs guidance, it becomes a tough point for him. And it often lands him in trouble.
In a way, Garnet acts like the subversion of the old troupe of “learning your lesson the hard way”. She follows this line of reasoning, and yet she fails to consider that this isn’t a healthy way for Steven to learn. SU likes to subvert classic cartoon troupes, deconstructing them like how all the cartoony heroic adventures were actually traumatising for Steven and hindered his development in a healthy way.
So letting Steven “learn his lesson” with stuff like the proposal in SUF, it actually became the turning point in him spiralling so badly.
It hurt him so much (already dealing with a loss on what to do in life, losing trust in those nearest to him, losing his support system, lots of unresolved trauma bubbling through as Steven freshly processes how screwed up his life was and why he’s struggling so much now), and it essentially started the huge domino effect to what later happens in SUF.
(I’m not excusing Steven’s own actions, though as we’ve seen, he has things that contributed to the path that was taken. For this post, I’m focusing on Garnet’s stake in all this.)
The proposal, a point of neglect
I think the proposal especially highlights this weakness from Garnet in several ways. First a little background from Steven’s PoV.
He reached out to a guardian that he trusted and admitted he didn’t know what to do with his life, who only turned back and said he should’ve known better and he was dumb for listening to Ruby and Sapphire.
This is when we’ve just learned that Steven was scared at opening up to people because he’s afraid that it’ll push them away but Steven anyway worked up the courage to ask Garnet, who only told him she didn’t have time for him and let Ruby and Sapphire take charge.
This is also just after learning that Steven wasn’t socialised properly and doesn’t understand human conventions too (so he didn’t know it was weird to propose as 16 either. Most of his knowledge comes from cartoons and other media, where Steven himself loved reading books about adventures falling in love like The Unfamiliar Familiar, so this stuff was normal to him. Still not okay, but he was neglected socially.)
(Btw this also adds to Steven’s frustration with his dad later on, as the proposal stuff hurt so much and he didn’t know it was a bad thing to do as Steven was unfamiliar with human stuff and what to even do with his life and his dad didn’t provide that guidance and neither did the gems.)
Steven isn’t the one that brings up the proposal, that is a very important fact.
Steven opens up to Garnet, who dismisses him and lets him talk to Ruby and Sapphire, who are the ones that tell him to propose. Ruby eggs him on even as he goes “really?” and even then he doesn’t immediately do it but double checks by going to Sapphire, the one that Steven trusts to be the logical one of the pair. Ruby and Sapphire are still his guardians, and Steven has made it very clear that he struggles with knowing what to do with himself.
So imagine the betrayal that Steven feels, when his guardians, the ones he trusted and had trouble opening up to but decided anyway, just brushes his feelings off and makes it all his fault for trusting his family, essentially calling him dumb and makes it all about being a hard lesson for he himself not realising it was a foolish idea.
We as the audience know he didn’t have the tools to know, neglected socially and traumatised, and that he was in a very bad headspace.
And even the gems have seen Steven has not been in a great headspace for a while prior to this.
Robbed of agency
But because Garnet just accepts the future she “sees”, expects it to come and sees it as inevitable, she forgets to take responsibility.
She didn’t help him afterwards even if she could. She didn’t tell the other gems and left him all night and day after to be alone in his slump even though Garnet knew he was miserable and in a sensitive spot and wanted to reach out for support (like calling Greg). Instead he was left to spiral in those bad thoughts and feelings with no sympathy or aftercare.
Garnet let her role as Steven’s guardian slip.
She essentially robs both Steven’s agency with the proposal by saying it was inevitable, but also robs herself of her own agency to act. All because she believes her visions are certain and there is no reason to act otherwise.
But we know this is false, her visions aren’t certain!
Future vision
Garnet’s “visions” are merely calculations. She doesn’t see the future but calculates likely outcomes. Garnet herself has admitted that several times, but continues to contradict it as she still falls back to her habit.
Sapphire’s future vision coupled with Ruby's influence that lets her see multiple outcomes, gives Garnet the notion that she knows what will happen.
Steven's complaint that Garnet thinks that she "knows better" is an interesting one, because in a way, he’s right.
Garnet inadvertently robs other people of their agency by over-relying on her visions. In her eyes she knows they won't change, that they will always do this.
And that also inadvertently robs herself of her own agency.
It’s kind of ironic too, because if she truly could see the future in all certainty, she should’ve known that Steven would spiral badly after the proposal and needed support. But that’s the thing, Garnet doesn’t know better, she doesn’t see everything or every outcome.
The biggest irony of this is that despite Garnet being a fusion, has a whole spiel about how conversation is important in any relationship, how her own existence was due to Ruby defying what Sapphire “saw”, Garnet herself is often a hypocrite to her own ideals.
The episode "Future Pool" is proof that her vision is flawed, as it isn't really future vision, but a probability calculator based on the facts she knows (which is also why Garnet never predicted Rose being Pink Diamond or all other numerous surprising things). Even Sapphire in SUF shows it’s all a probability calculation that she’s running.
Even Garnet didn’t predict Bluebird to turn on Steven and all and try to kill him. If she even “saw” that possibility, she didn’t even warn Steven and she egged him on to give her a chance.
But ironically, Garnet didn’t really “learn her lesson” in these episodes, did she? Not the crux of it at least. Her future vision was getting more and more inaccurate in “Future Pool” as she couldn’t get a read on how Steven had grown as a person and wasn’t behaving as expected.
But instead of stepping back and assessing whether she should reconsider her relationship with the ability, as Steven tires to nudge her to think for herself instead of over-relying on visions that aren’t set in stone, Garnet goes back to the same as usual as she learns Steven had matured and factors that in to get back her more accurate future calculations.
Pink’s palanquin
Another example of Garnet robbing people of their agency and being bad at communicating is when Greg was kidnapped by Blue Diamond.
Instead of communicating to Steven that Blue Diamond was in Korea and that she would kidnap Greg if they went there, she just told him to not go.
Steven was at this point super frustrated at the gems not telling him anything and not communicating, while his rising frustration (and trauma) with the gem stuff was rising and he didn’t want to be constantly dismissed and denying knowing about this gem past that was affecting him so much now.
But again, Garnet is bad at communicating.
And when Steven goes to Korea, she robs Steven of his agency by saying this would've happened regardless.
Realistically speaking, if Garnet sat down and talked with Steven, acknowledging his feelings instead of dismissing them and how he felt about his heritage and Rose, (which has been a huge contributor in going into Korea in the first place, being denied his feelings) and Garnet actually explained Blue was there and the consequences going there, Steven would've likely not gone.
But in this twist of irony, Garnet denies her own agency with her flawed view on her vision, doesn't make an effort in communicating with Steven, it ends up fulfilling her vision.
Denying responsibility
It's very interesting that being the leader of the team, the one everyone looks up to, she sometimes struggles acknowledging fault or responsibility.
It’s not that she doesn’t ever not admit fault to something, she has admitted plenty of times. But there are times where she’s steadfast in not having any responsibility or that she had a part in too.
And this stands as an interesting contrast to her companions in the cast, Amethyst and Pearl, who are often confronted with their issues and are expected to change their mind or admit fault.
But there are many times where Garnet simply denies her doing anything wrong. And being the de facto leader, it gets accepted.
Garnet was still very responsible for the proposal thing. And even if Ruby and Sapphire were the ones telling Steven to propose, Garnet could’ve unfused, let the two of them take responsibility and apologise to Steven.
She just brushes it off as them being lovebirds so it’s okay for them to almost ruin Steven’s closest relationship and pins it as his fault for trusting them, despite them being his guardians who he opened up to with a sensitive issue. She denies Ruby and Sapphire their agency and even justifies their bad behaviour because love (but at the same time faults Steven to act on his emotions, despite being actually considerate enough to ask his guardians whether this was a good idea).
Garnet is still responsible for Ruby and Sapphire, because even if Garnet is technically her own person, Ruby and Sapphire are still a part of her and the two of them can choose to become her at any time just as Garnet can choose to become Ruby and Sapphire any time.
Fusion
And that’s another flaw Garnet has. She thinks she “knows better” about fusion, just because she’s a permafusion for thousands of years.
And while she does have a lot of sage and good advice about fusion
She still has her flaws about it. And often lets fusion become a scapegoat for her own responsibility or other people’s.
Like when Sugilite runs rampage.
They don’t even apologise to either Steven or Pearl for all the hurt Sugilite had caused (heck, she almost seemed fine with killing Pearl or at least being fine with all the destruction she caused. Steven even had his bones cracked when a huge boulder hit his face due to Sugilite).
Even if Sugilite wouldn’t be able to apologise, Garnet and Amethyst still could as it was their decision to fuse in the first place even with Pearl’s warnings that they tend to lose control. In fact, Garnet was the one to bring up fusing with Amethyst in the first place.
The only comment Garnet makes afterwards is how Sugilite overworked their bodies and that’s why they’re tired at the end of unfusing. No apology for the hurt they caused.
It’s an interesting contrast to how other fusions act.
Smoky is still apologising on Steven’s behalf with the havoc caused in “Guidance”. Steven apologises to Mega Pearl for Pearl and Pink Pearl, since the trip to the Reef didn’t turn out well. Even Stevonnie is treated as both their fusion and Steven and Connie, and Stevonnie treats themself as that too.
Meanwhile Garnet flip flops between being the result of Ruby and Sapphire’s actions to having no responsibility for Ruby and Sapphire.
Garnet even excuses Bluebird, saying Steven can’t judge her just because she’s a fusion of two of Steven’s enemies that wanna murder him. Which first of all, that was his house and he has every right to not want some strangers invited in there, let alone the fusion of his previous murderers.
Second of all, he absolutely can judge people based on their components. In fact, Garnet is yet again a hypocrite as she really likes Stevonnie, Smoky and all the other fusions because they’re the fusions of their friends. She doesn’t treat them as just their own people, the components matter too with the relationship she has to them. Garnet likes Fluorite, sure, but she isn’t family. But Smoky Quartz is family even at first sight, just because they’re a fusion of Amethyst and Steven.
Reflection
Garnet is by no means perfect, and that’s what makes her a good character. She has flaws like everyone else, just as she has strengths like everyone else.
She doesn’t mean ill with any of this. A lot of it is her being well-meaning too, and she tries a lot to be a leader for the team which is a tough spot.
In fact, being thrust in a leader position is probably why Garnet started over-relying on her future vision. She had to fill the spot Rose left for them, be the mature one as everyone processed their grief and keeping the team together, especially how prone to conflict Pearl and Amethyst were with each other earlier on before Steven stepped up to be the heart of the team.
So it just becomes this interesting if a little tragic and ironic thing that the very things Garnet preaches about and is a symbol of that others look up to, are the very things Garnet is really bad at.
TLDR
While Garnet is often seen as flawless or nearly perfect aside from her fusion with Ruby and Sapphire sometimes showing co-dependence, she does have significant flaws. Her biggest flaw is poor communication, which contradicts her emphasis on its importance in relationships. This flaw becomes especially apparent in her interactions with Steven, where her lack of guidance contributes to his struggles, such as in the proposal situation and the Korea thing.
Garnet’s over-reliance on her future vision also leads her to undermine others’ agency, assuming outcomes are inevitable rather than communicating and acting on them. This creates a paradox, as Garnet’s vision isn’t always accurate, she knows it isn't, she knows it isn't really future vision but a probability calculator and she often has blind spots and she herself is a result of that blind spot.
But Garnet still falls back to treating her visions as inevitable and misses opportunities to protect or support others, including Steven, by denying their and her own agency. Additionally, she sometimes avoids taking responsibility, particularly when it comes to the consequences of her lack of communication, and also using her future vision and fusion as an excuse in certain aspects.
Despite these flaws, it makes Garnet a more complex and compelling character, as dealing with her leadership role she was forced into after Rose's absence. Acknowledging her flaws gives depth to her character and emphasizes the show’s theme that no one is perfect.
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scott street - ᴍᴠ¹
in which, the pressure of the 2024 formula 1 season becomes too much for the dutch driver, so instead of leaning on his best friend for support, he pushes her away.
contains: angst, swearing, crying, unresolved conflict, unhappy ending, shouting, mentions of childhood trauma, depression, jos verstappen mentioned (ew), a gilmore girls reference, not proof-read.
max verstappen x unnamed female character
...
...
she thought something was off, something wasn't right - and she was correct.
it was right after the belgian grand prix, after max had lost another win through no fault of his own, after mclaren had gained a few more points on his beloved oracle red bull racing.
she was there, she always had been, waiting for him after the race like she always did. although she had prepared herself, nothing could have prepared her for this.
he knew he needed her, but he was just so wound up, so tired of the shitty car, so done with the team that he couldn't even bring himself to look at her when he walked into his driver's room.
"hey, are you okay?" she asked softly, standing up with the dutchman entered the room, his usual sadness replaced with something else - he was fuming. "max?"
"i'm fine." he mumbled, discarding his helmet carelessly to the floor.
"do you want to talk about it?" her voice was somewhat comforting, but nowhere near enough to calm the pure rage bubbling in his chest.
"no." max sighed, refusing to turn around and look at his best friend.
she nodded, not that he could see her, but it was more of a nod to herself. okay, he doesn't want to talk, that's okay. but she also wondered if he knew it wasn't his fault, because he couldn't help a ten-place grid penalty brought on by his team, and he certainly couldn't help that the mercedes were exceptionally quick today and being held up by cars he was lapping wasn't helping him either - it just wasn't his fault.
of course, she knew he'd be annoyed about his race - but that wasn't the route of his emotions, his father was. max had obviously told her about the traumatic events of his childhood, long after they'd happened, although she was around when most of them took place.
however, she didn't bring it up.
"max?" she spoke quietly, her voice a little airy. "it's not your fault, you know that, yeah?"
"i know it's not my fucking fault." he spat back quickly.
"come on, max, please talk to me." she pried a little more. "it hurts to see you like this."
"oh, it hurts you?" he scoffed, finally turning around to look at her, anger ever-so-present in his pretty eyes. "how the fuck do you think it makes me feel? you always manage to make everything about you, don't you? just can't stand the attention being away from you for just one fucking second, can you?"
it took everything in her to not physically recoil at his words - he'd never ever been like this, and she wasn't going to lie, her heart shattered at his cold attitude toward her. she was only trying to help him and he was acting like this.
"nothing to say, huh?" he almost laughed, but there was nothing resembling a smile on his face. "you know what? just get out."
"sorry?" was all she could muster, an expression of hurt confusion on her face.
"you heard me, leave." he repeated it, squashing her hopes that he was just angry and didn't mean it, that he'd apologise and lay in her arms and just tell her how he really felt.
she got up, putting her phone back in her pocket, glancing over at him to see that he'd turned back to desk, fiddling with something on there.
hearing the door shut behind her was confirmation of what he'd just done - why the fuck did he do that?
head in his hands, he slumped down on the couch, already missing her presence. clearly, max hadn't meant any of that, but it was like word vomit. he felt as if he was floating outside of his body, watching him shove his best friend away, and he couldn't do anything about it.
outside, she stood there, motionless. what the fuck had just happened? gritting her teeth, delicate tears fell down her cheeks as she started to walk out of the red bull garage in aimless despair.
maybe if she hadn't said anything he wouldn't have lashed out of her? did she pry too much? why wouldn't he just talk to her?
"ah, good afternoon." a familiar voice came from behind her as she stood in the paddock, unsure of what to do with herself.
daniel ricciardo.
"oh, hi daniel." she thumbed away the salty tears and sniffled before she turned around - but it was no use, daniel caught on straight away.
"what's wrong?" he furrowed his eyebrows, putting a hand on her shoulder.
she knew there was no point in lying, daniel would get it out of her eventually. "max kinda... blew up at me? told me that i make everything about me and then told me to leave- don't say anything to him though."
"you know i can't promise that, but are you okay?" he shook his head, mentally noting to bring that up with max in the near future.
"i'm not sure."
...
a pretty afternoon in monaco had brought about a lunch between max verstappen and daniel ricciardo. a whole week had passed since the incident, and neither had spoken to each other - both absolutely terrified of what the other would say.
max was scared that she'd push him away, the same way he did. she was scared that max didn't want her back.
the reality was, max needed help - he needed her back. since his outburst, things had gone downhill. the car wasn't looking as good as he'd hoped in the factory, one of his cats was ill, and someone had rear-ended his car somehow - it was as if the universe was screaming at him to just apologise to her, get in his car and go to her apartment, tell her he didn't mean any of it and then finally tell her how he really felt - but max verstappen had fallen deaf, clearly.
luckily, daniel ricciardo hadn't.
"max, what is going on with you?" he asked as the two sat on the bench, slightly hot from the round of padel they'd just played.
"what?" he scrunched his nose at the australian, glancing at him briefly.
"you." daniel repeated. "you're drinking way more than usual, i'm the only person you've seen other than for work purposes, and then you pushed your best friend away - god, why did you push her away?"
"how the fuck do you know about that?" max snapped, quickly apologising with a look afterward. "sorry, how do you know about that, though?"
"she was crying in the paddock after the race." he nodded, pursing his lips. "told me what you said."
"i didn't mean to, okay? i miss her. i know i shouldn't have said what i said, but i can't undo it. i just... i'm scared- what if this is it? what if she won't take me back this time?"
"max." daniel said firmly. "i promise you, that girl will always take you back - you could kill someone and she'd still stand by your side."
"what have i done, daniel?"
...
she was more okay than she thought she was going to be. monday evenings were always reserved for max - dinners, movie nights, whatever they decided to do, it was together.
this monday night was different though.
there wasn't the familiar dutch laughter bouncing around her apartment. there wasn't the delicious smell of home-cooked food lingering in the corridor. there wasn't the colour of freshly bought tulips adding to her plain white kitchen (max always gave her pretty flowers when he came over.) and there certainly wasn't the comforting smell of max's aftershave stuck on her cushions anymore.
it had been three weeks and no word from him.
maybe it was time to move on. maybe he wasn't coming back this time.
she decided early on that it was his decision to return - he was the one who pushed her away so why should she make an effort? in no way was she saying it was for the better, but she was... relatively okay. yes, of course there were things she missed about him - no one wanted to do anything on a monday evening apparently.
so, she spent her monday evenings alone, drowning herself in blankets and fast food, watching some movie that she would never even the end of of - because she fell asleep every time, without fail.
so she did move on.
max on the other hand? he was moving backwards - rapidly.
he thought he was borderline depressed. rotting in his apartment with his cats, occasionally venturing out of the house to buy food or see daniel and lando - but that was it. it was as if all the life had been sucked out of his existence - all the colour, all the light.
so, when he turned up to her apartment on a rainy monday evening, it was a knife to the heart, to the head, to the gut.
he walked into the lobby, planning on going straight up to her and confessing every single feeling he'd had since that dreadful day in belgium.
but, he was met with an unexpected sight. there she was, smiling, with a man.
she was laughing, with him. they were walking towards her apartment, about to head into the elevator. if they were on normal terms, max would have waltzed right up to her and asked who he was - but he didn't have that privilege anymore, remember?
so, he turned around, shocked and almost reduced to tears, and he left.
if only he knew, she would have run to him in a heartbeat.
but, maybe it was for the better.
...
coming next... novacane, ʟɴ⁴ motion sickness, ᴍᴠ¹ (part two)
#formula one#fanfiction#f1 fanfic#formula 1#max verstappen#max verstappen angst#max verstappen x reader#scott street#norrisjpg
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There's something in the differing emphasis that Brad and Hunter and Charles place on the phrase "good guy" that really affected me on my first watch and hit even harder on my second. I'm going to try and put it into words.
When Brad and Hunter say it, they say "we're good guys", as in, good at everything a guy "should" be good at - good at sports, popular with the ladies, on their way to a good university. But they turn out to be total shitheads. They don't care about being "good", they just care about their reputation, how they're perceived. It's status and power - they're good guys and they feel entitled to do whatever they want.
But when Charles, feeling betrayed by this reveal of their character, says he wanted them to be good guys, the emphasis is completely different. Charles wants to be a "good guy". He doesn't want to be a "bad guy".
The emphasis is on good, because that's really the crux of Charles' greatest fears, isn't it?
When Charles wants to be a good guy, he doesn't mean it the way Brad and Hunter do; that veneer of goodness that comes with popularity. He means that nothing he did was ever good enough for his dad. Doing the good thing and helping that kid his "friends" were beating up literally got him killed. Trying to stop Devlin only got him trapped in the loop, stuck until his friends freed him, only able to watch helplessly as a mother and her innocent children get slashed to death before his eyes.
And it's this helplessness that is the thing that truly sets him off at the end of episode 4.
It always struck me just how much of his breakdown there, for as much as he finally gives a voice to his own hurt at the injustice of his situation, was still about other people. Because he was secure-ish, at one point, when he was Edwin's partner and protector. He thought he did a good job at it anyways, but guess not, because something obviously happened with Edwin and he's not talking to him about it. And he likes to think he did good with solving cases, but Crystal is still hurting and haunted by a demon and nearly threw herself off a cliff earlier that day because she wants her parents so badly, and he's no closer to helping her solve that. And all of it, every single part of it, is a reflection of his own unresolved trauma; that he never "made it better" and he can't, so now he tries to be good enough for other people, but that isn't working anymore either, and now someone is threatening to take Edwin away, and even this final shocking act of anger and violence is still in service of protecting; of saving someone from the suffering he was never able to escape except by fucking dying.
His anger, really, stems from the injustice of it all, and the abuse of power by guys who can get away with it because they're guys, when they should've, could've, been good to others instead. It's a large part of why he projected so strongly onto Brad and Hunter - they did everything right, they were good guys who got screwed over, because even if everyone seems to love you, there's always that one person you can never please, right? Who will hurt you, no matter how good you are. When it's revealed that Brad and Hunter are far more like his bullies, like Devlin, like his dad, than he'd thought - controlling, intolerant, cruel to those who "step out of line" - Charles feels betrayed and horrified because he related to them... so what does that say about him?
But here's one major difference that Charles does not seem to recognize well. Charles has never had the power in these situations. He was the victim, and his being the victim is through no fault of his own, but the fault of those who decided to be cruel. It is certainly not contingent on how good he is. Being good in the eyes of people who want to hurt you will not stop them from hurting you.
When he lashes out at the Night Nurse, it's out of helplessness and rage. Once again, he's pitted against someone who holds more power than he does and is threatening harm, and he's just been bitterly, brutally reminded that a smile and a helping hand and a firm word never, ever worked to make it stop. There's only one other way he can think of to shift the balance of power, and he's finally livid enough to actually do it. This violence is a desperate attempt to finally overcome yet another force much greater than him, a transdimensional entity that has unjustly arrived to take his best friend to Hell. And Charles wins, he did it, he stopped her, at least for the moment. But at what cost, when he looks at his friends and can't tell whether they look more scared for him or of him? And can he blame them, when he's clearly scared of his own anger and how overwhelming it is now that it's been let out?
Because he tries so hard to be good and it's never good enough to stop the suffering. Because that anger rose to the surface so easily and maybe that means he's not good at all.
But of course, Charles once again misses something important here - there is a distinction in why that anger exists. His dad, Devlin, and Brad and Hunter get angry because their power over others makes them feel they have a right to punish when things don't go their way. Charles gets angry because he feels more helpless than he'd care to admit, and seeing cruelty inflicted onto others by those with power makes him want to cut them down to size.
And herein lies the second major difference. Charles... is a kind person, at heart. He's genuine. He really does likes helping out, he likes making people happy, he doesn't turn people away who need help, he's friendly and protective. The scene where Edwin pulls him out of his fear that he's somehow bad even though he really doesn't want to be, is outright one of my favourite scenes for what it brings to both of their characters. Edwin knows exactly what to say. While it's always good to check your behaviour, to apologize and take accountability - because no one can be good all the time, and even the most well-intentioned of us will mess up sometimes - Edwin is right.
"Bad guys do not worry about being bad guys."
#storyrambles#hope this made sense. ended up being a lot longer than i meant it to whew.#anyways. charles you mean so much to me :')#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#dbda meta#I FORGOT MY BELOVED ANALYSIS TAG ->#call me ace detective the way i am ace. and also a detective.
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Yuji's accumulated Trauma
After Choso's death, I've been thinking about Yuji's reaction to it. At first glance, it looks mature and composed and obviously Yuji doesn't have the time and privilege to grieve. More importantly, Gege didn't give Yuji any panel time to be distraught; his aniki's death scene was over pretty fast. The 3000 Shibuya deaths in conjunction with Nanami's and Nobara's deaths on the other hand had been given more time and more impact afterwards.
The difference in reaction between those two times makes sense in context but, in my opinion, not with Yuji being mature and composed about it.
Because Yuji never got over Nanami's and Nobara's death, he didn't heal from that, instead, he had a negative character arc where the trauma of their deaths affected his world view and mentality in significantly bad ways.
He started to think of himself as a cog in a machine and he also identified with Mahito, the curse who killed both his friend and his mentor figure, a villain and his personal antagonist. Yuji did not overcome Mahito in Shibuya, the story makes us forget that often times. He was marked and changed by Mahito and even though that curse ended up with an extremely pathetic death that didn't mean that he hadn't broken something inside Yuji.
The only time where Yuji constructively dealt with that trauma was in his fight against Higuruma but that was only about his guilt over letting Sukuna kill 3000 people with his body. And it didn't get resolved completely, at least not in a way that would've helped with dealing with Nobara's and Nanaimi's death too.
Yuji is taking that trauma from Shibuya, his feelings of weakness and guilt, and he puts them into believing himself to be a machine that has to follow a predetermined path. Before Sukuna took over Megumi, that meant being suicidal when the situation called for it. Yuji wanted his life to make sense again and dying so Angel would've her wish of seeing Sukuna dead to save Gojo perfectly fit into that.
After Sukuna possessed Megumi, his path and role stayed the same except killing himself directly was off the table but that tendency still exists inside of him. If he were to be presented a way to defeat Sukuna while saving Megumi at the same time where he would die as a result he would take that path immedietaly without hesitation.
Back to Choso's death. In my view, this unresolved trauma and his lack of will to live lead to an unhealthy coping mechanism: thinking of his friends and allies as already dead. We can see that when he asked Megumi if Nobara had survived Shibuya.
He knew that there was a slim chance she survived but it was so low that she was basically dead. When Megumi confirmed her fate, Yuji was prepared for it. Prepared to receive the bad news so instead of crying again he could function like the cog he was supposed to be.
And this Mahito-infused cog mentality still follows him until now. He has to function so his role can be fullfilled and when that means he has to think of his friends as having already been killed so he would never break again then that's what he's going to do.
He did not despair over Choso's death, he despaired because it looked like he was alone and on the verge of defeat against Sukuna. His role was breaking just like his reason to live and I think that this mentality, his negative character arc, will find it's conclusion at the end of the Sukuna fight.
This fight is not the end of the manga, we still have the merger to deal with, there is still a big arc with smaller ones in between coming at us. But for Yuji something big has to happen, probably something pretty bad that has him crushed... at first.
At the end of it, he will finally deal with all his loss and his trauma in a good and healthy way and leave his life as a cog and being a human Mahito behind. Then he might finally shed the tears that were missing in chapter 259.
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#sukuna#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#ryomen sukuna#higuruma hiromi#meta#mahito#choso#jjk choso
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I'll gladly let you kill me then.
-That promise, make sure you keep it.
So I think Daon's backstory is significant for us to understand a bit more about Han Daon as a character. He's got this huge scar from his childhood incident that he never really healed from. Also, he's no saint. We've seen him wavering in what he should/should not do more than once so far.
He knows giving police protection to criminals is a waste but still does it because it's the lawful thing to do. He wavers for a couple of seconds there when Kang Bitna offers to kill his parents' killer for him because the law cannot. From what I see, he's always walked on a thin line between what is right or wrong according to society's definition. He definitely has a violent streak in him; he's just never had to fully give in to that.
You bet he'd have ended up on the dark side after his parents' death if not for his noona who never gave up on him, turned him away, with her love and kindness, from a path that could have led him to darkness and uncertainty. Now that Detective Soyeong is gone, the person who showed him light is gone too. His only family after he'd lost his own, gone. And he's back to being that kid again who had so much unresolved hurt, trauma and angst against the law that didn't believe in him (a wound he still carries). Law that wasn't enough to give him his well-deserved justice. Back then, he had Soyeong who was a human and law abiding individual. Now, he has Kang Bitna aka Justitia, a demon who serves justice in her own way because she knows the human law is faulty. If Han Daon was guided to life and light back then because of Soyeong, would he then give in to death and darkness now, because he is already spiraling as it is and there's no one to bring him back to light?
Why do I feel Kang Bitna actually wouldn't want that? It was different back when she'd stabbed him, but the switch is flipped now, and I think she'd care very much about Han Daon's future and fate. The way she goes 'HAN DAON!' and 'Then you'll end up in hell too' and stares at him like she doesn't recognize this version of Daon--I've replayed that scene far too many times.
Because Bitna may say Daon's morality and tenacity to get to the truth is annoying, but I think she doesn't even know that she appreciates it, which is also why she gets so worked up every time she feels like Daon's faked his emotions or betrayed her with his words: she expects him to be on the side of truth and righteousness.
Even though we see her supporting Daon in the precap for eps 9 and 10, she might go out of her way and even risk her own existence to keep Daon away from darkness later, because now if something happens to him, she'd be the first one to cry.
A part of me also thinks Daon cannot go ALL the way with his revenge because he'd made a promise to Detective Soyeong to always be a detective first and do his job. It's his vengeance talking right now but once that wears off and reason kicks in, I don't think he'd want to kill somebody unlawfully, disrespecting the promise he made to his noona.
Or we could totally have a switch up with Bitna becoming the superego and Daon, the id. It'll be interesting to see if Bitna starts shifting gradually toward the 'unevil' side while helping Daon, having his back and protecting him. She might have to take Daon's life after all (deal with the Demon and all), but at a time when it'll hurt her THE MOST doing so. Maybe the power of Kylum can come to their rescue then, reviving Daon? It also makes me think if the 'Other Thing' you need for Kylum to work its divine magic is unconditional love/sacrificial love, where Bitna would have to willingly give up her life to revive Daon?
*cough* ^I take no responsibility for what I just said above thank you very much T-T
#the judge from hell#park shin hye#kim jae young#judge from hell#kang bitna#han daon#justitia#kdrama#kdrama recommendations#east asian drama#its giving the wolf fell in love with the sheep vibe now smh#dont mind me just theorizing like its my day job
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Another day another ask mysteriously disappearing from my inbox when i'm about to hit post on the reply
Anyway the question was basically "what do you think of the "Jason isn't able to get over his death while bruce is capable of forgiving joe chill and sitting by him as he dies" take and doesn't it sound a little like the "everybody died he ain't special " take?"
Why yes. Yes it does sound like that. My thoughts on that idea, in no particular order:
- it's almost 2025 are we still placing moral judgement on characters based on the comparison between how they're enduring their trauma what happened to the universal singularity of human suffering what happened to not comparing apples and bananas weren't we taught not to do that in elementary school
-Is this about the Three Joker comics? It sounds like it is, anyway uh that comics is not mainline (and has pretty shitty writing imo), in mainline even in his least flattering runs (ie Battle for the Cowl) Jason hasn't gone postal because of his death in a while (in BTFC it was Bruce's death and the mention of the "unresolved dark horrors of his childhood" triggering a bad parody of some sort of psychotic break) so like i guess criticizing Jason for something he isn't doing is kinda strange
-if anything Bruce is the one "not over" Jason's death considering the flashback he had right at the beginning of Failsafe arc (though of course demanding he just gets over the trauma of holding his dead son's corpse is just as absurd as demanding Jason gets over the trauma of having died)
-honestly staying by Chill's side as he died was pretty cool and heroic on Bruce's part, totally agreed, that was badass of him to not let him die alone despite his trauma. That being said can we please stop tying morality to the concept of forgiveness? Implying there's a goodness of heart to forgiving/getting over your trauma is weird, it way too puch pressure on the victim, we should stop with the "good victim/bad victim" narrative, martyrdom culture is harmful. If forgiving Chill helped Bruce, cool for him, Jason is in no obligation to forgive Joker, and also Bruce forgiving Chill =/= staying by his side as he died, those are two separate things
-if we're comparing coping we have to compare resources, what does Jason's support system at that time compared to Bruce? Should we make a tally to see who has more friends especially close ones? We both know who will win but also that it's a completely stupid and pointless arrangement, how many apples and oranges must we compare before we conceptualize that it's not the same fruit?
-in terms of personal taste, I find placing moral judgement on characters is about the least interesting analysis angle I can imagine, like, congrats, you've established Angel McPerfect is a better person than Asshole McInteresting! Now multiply me by one and subtract zero.
-kinda hilarious to criticise Jason for not getting over his death and compare that to the coping of a man who dresses as a bat to cope with something that happened thirty years ago. Like if he's so over his trauma why is he wearing pointy ears
-also, obviously, the idea that characters should just "get over their trauma" is insanely dumb. Trauma is like a wound. It can scar, if treated properly, and then the scar will always be there. Imagine telling someone they should get cosmetic surgery because "we get it, you got stabbed, you don't have to shove it in my face every time I look at you." Or telling someone whose wound got infected "why can't you be more like this guy? Look, his stab wound is all healed nice and clean by now. It's like you're not even trying !"
Anyway I hope that answers your question and you have a good day anon, I agree with you that that take is weird, I truly don't understand the reasoning beside "i don't like jason". Idk maybe these people just need to...chill.
#ngl sometimes i get ask that are a blatant invitation to talk shit#and i'm like sure yk what i can talk shit with you#also call me the joker cause that pun was fucking terrible#dc#jason todd#dc comics#red hood#ask#batman#batman three jokers? maybe
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Let’s talk about the impossible feat of loving Nesta while simultaneously shipping Nessian. Yes, it’s possible to admire Nesta’s fierce, complex, and deeply troubled character, but it becomes a mental gymnastics routine when people insist on pairing her with Cassian, the very character who consistently undermines her healing and mental health.
There’s a fundamental issue here: Nesta is on a self-destructive spiral for the majority of her arc in A Court of Silver Flames, and Cassian, the supposed "love interest," isn’t helping—he’s actually worsening the situation. Cassian doesn’t just harm Nesta emotionally; he’s also not great for himself, which turns this into the classic case of two people who are absolutely not ready for a relationship but are shoved into one for the sake of drama, attraction, or—let’s face it—trauma-bonding. So let’s get into why loving Nesta means rejecting the idea of Nessian, because at its core, this relationship is toxic.
Cassian's Actions: Love or Harm?
In what world is it okay for a man to force a woman into an intervention-style imprisonment because she’s hurting? That’s not love; that’s coercion. The moment Rhysand, Feyre, and Cassian decide to lock Nesta up in the House of Wind without any real professional help is the moment you realize how warped their perception of "helping" is. Cassian actively participates in this isolation, and no matter how it’s spun, that’s not caring for someone’s well-being—that’s control. Realistically speaking, throwing someone with severe PTSD, depression, and a ton of guilt into a glorified prison doesn’t scream "let’s heal together"; it screams "I don’t want to deal with your pain, so I’ll just shove you into a corner."
The thing with Cassian is that he keeps asserting dominance over Nesta under the guise of tough love, which, at best, is misguided and, at worst, is abusive. There’s emotional manipulation here that people often overlook. He’s constantly undermining her boundaries, trying to force her into situations she’s clearly not ready for. This isn’t about "challenging her to be better"—this is about someone refusing to accept where she is in her emotional journey and trying to rush her into healing on his timeline.
Relationships Aren't a Band-Aid for Self-Destruction
You can’t ship someone who is in the throes of their own personal turmoil into a romantic relationship and expect everything to work out. It’s not the 90s where "love heals all wounds" was a plausible relationship arc. Let’s get real: both Cassian and Nesta are deeply flawed, emotionally scarred people who are not in a position to bring out the best in each other. Cassian has his own guilt, his own trauma, and his own unresolved issues, which means that he is self-destructing in his own way too. How is a relationship built on two crumbling foundations supposed to thrive?
There’s this common trope that "relationships make people better." And sure, sometimes that’s true. The right partnership can encourage personal growth, offer support, and provide a stable ground for emotional healing. But here’s the kicker: that only works if both parties are in a place to actively support one another. Cassian and Nesta are both drowning in their own emotional baggage, and what happens when two people are drowning? They pull each other down.
It’s Not the Right Time—Or Maybe It’s Just Not Right
Let’s entertain the idea for a moment that Cassian and Nesta could be meant to be. Maybe, in another universe, under different circumstances, their dynamic could work. But in this current context, it's not just that it's not the right time—it's that Cassian is fundamentally bad for Nesta's mental health. Relationships take effort, mutual respect, and understanding. What Cassian offers is a kind of pseudo-support that's wrapped up in his own unresolved issues. He’s often dismissive of Nesta’s pain, or worse, he actively exacerbates it by belittling her coping mechanisms (however flawed they may be).
Cassian pushes her physically and emotionally when she’s clearly not in a place to handle it. This isn’t the "right person, wrong time" situation—it’s the "this relationship is unhealthy for both people" situation. To claim they’re good for each other is to completely disregard the damage they do to one another.
Cassian's Behavior: Emotional Manipulation or Love?
Cassian fans often try to justify his actions by claiming he’s trying to help Nesta get out of her destructive cycle, but let’s be real here: a lot of what he does is emotional manipulation. Cassian constantly tries to mold Nesta into the person he thinks she should be, without giving her the space to figure out who she actually is. Yes, Nesta is angry, grieving, and hurting, but instead of letting her process that pain on her own terms, Cassian’s solution is to insert himself into her healing journey as if he’s the one with the answer to all her problems.
The power dynamics here are wildly skewed. Nesta is at her most vulnerable, and Cassian—who should recognize that and proceed with caution—does the exact opposite. He forces her into situations she’s not ready for, whether it’s physical training or emotionally confronting things she hasn’t yet processed. This kind of forced "healing" is toxic. It's not love; it's domination.
Abuse Isn’t Just Physical—It’s Mental and Emotional Too
It’s easy to point out physical abuse and say "that’s wrong," but what people fail to recognize is that emotional and mental abuse are just as damaging. Cassian’s emotional manipulation—his constant pushing, his refusal to respect Nesta’s boundaries, his belief that he knows what’s best for her—are all forms of emotional abuse. He might not physically hurt her, but the way he chips away at her mental and emotional health is just as harmful.
Nesta deserves a partner who supports her healing in a way that’s compassionate and understanding—not someone who forces her into situations she’s not ready for because he thinks it’s the best course of action. Cassian, for all his good intentions, isn’t that partner. At least, not now, and maybe not ever.
Conclusion: You Can’t Love Nesta and Ship Nessian
Here’s the bottom line: you can’t claim to love Nesta while simultaneously shipping her with a man who actively harms her, emotionally manipulates her, and refuses to respect her boundaries. If you love Nesta, you want her to heal, to thrive, to grow—on her own terms. Cassian, in his current state, doesn’t support that growth. In fact, he stunts it. So no, you can’t love Nesta and ship Nessian at the same time. To do so is to fundamentally misunderstand what it means to love someone like Nesta: fiercely, without conditions, and with a respect for her autonomy.
Cassian might be good for someone else, or maybe even for Nesta in a different life. But in this one? He’s not the hero of her story—he’s the obstacle.
#acotar#anti cassian#anti nessian#anti sjm#cassian critical#nessian critical#i hate nessian#anti rhysand#anti ic#anti acosf#pro nesta#pro nesta archeron#pro neris#love nesta#nesta acotar#nesta#nesta archeron#nesta acosf
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What would happen if you were a writer for TSAMS?
I mean we'll never know unless we try, however-
God the temptation to make jokes about shipping ajfsdkg;ljfasd;l
In all seriousness I'm good at finding and fixing plot holes and writing consistent storylines. I've been writing solo for years, and recently I've been co-writing fics for this fandom. And stars I'll say it now, obviously I wouldn't drag fan ships into the canon lore, that would be stupid considering most of them just wouldn't work with canon.
If I had the chance to write for TSAMS I would definitely try to influence the way certain things (specifically things like mental disorders) are portrayed, because I understand being part of the audience and the frustration of only seeing part of the story and missing an entire important perspective. I personally find so much enjoyment in that because I get to tear everything apart, dissect it, and put it back together so the fandom can understand what the story is portraying, but the fact that someone is required to tear it apart to get what should have been an obvious message most of the time is an issue, in my opinion.
A consistent problem I've noticed with TSAMS is that it's overly omnipotent on some things while being too closed about others. This is a narrative problem that stems from not having enough time to figure out the best approach for new situations they want to incorporate. This is because the writers/VAs are so bogged down by personal projects, stream schedules, their servers, life, etc that they just don't have time to figure these things out. Especially when the company is pushing for more content/lore episodes and they're just a team of four. Four very very busy individuals that have to write AND voice act the entire cast of characters. I feel like having someone who is just a writer would help with a lot of the inconsistency and unresolved plot holes.
There's a lot of strong potential for things that would stem back as far as two years that would be so interesting to see incorporated, but they just don't have the time to work through those and it's easier to keep jumping on new boats and abandoning the ones they have to sink because of unresolved tears in the plot letting more inconsistencies trickle in like so much water. So I would absolutely work to correct those and clean up the holes and resolve unanswered questions.
I'd also push for more consistent characterization, or rather better worded, deeper characterization. Not that they don't have good characterization now, overall I think they do a decent job, but there are just some things that I wish they'd touch on more. Likes, dislikes, disorders, complications, relationships, etc. What really makes up these characters; I'd probably end up with a complicated character web for the main cast at the very least to help with consistent storytelling. I do this with my own AUs to keep characters consistent, including quirks (For example Solar Flare always refers to people by their full name in my writing). It would also be interesting to dig deeper into what makes the characters them. Their personalities, beliefs, interests, morality/standards (for those without morals), and what they did and didn't find traumatic (as well as what level of trauma).
God even just the thought of how I could potentially fix the dumpster fire (/affectionate /positive) of TSAMS and co is a little exciting because there's just so much potential lying around untampered with that I would happily dig my grubby little claws into.
#alex answers#answered ask#thanks for the ask!#tsams#the sun and moon show#sun and moon show#tsbs#petition to get alex on the tsams team real?#<-- this is a joke I don't think they'd accept a random ass person ajfdsklg;jafds#I mean okay I'm not that random#Friends with the mods#I've done art for Reed#And kat follows my thread in the server#but ough#okay now I'm just yapping#long post
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Love Sea Final Thoughts
I have been trying to wrap my head around my overall feelings about Love Sea, a show that is undeniably flawed but somehow charming anyway, that drops so many threads but does such a good job with a few of its core points that it's hard to be mad. I can't really say that this is a great drama, but I can say that I enjoyed it a lot and I think it's a good watch if you go in understanding some caveats.
Let's start with a few things I really loved about this show:
Mahasamut. A great character, he will be going on my shortlist of Thai bl favorites. He's smart, honest, patient, giving and forgiving but he also knows himself, his limits, and his worth. On top of all that, he actually looks like a normal person, with a healthy body weight and beautiful imperfect skin. So rare in dramas.
Smart class dynamics. I appreciated how much this show grounded Mut and Rak's relationship in their class disparity, how wealth and lack of same was a constant issue between them that was never forgotten, and how its effect on their power dynamic shifted over time as their relationship grew.
Very well-executed sex scenes. The sex in this show is tied to character development and relationship arcs, and every sex scene mattered to the story. We watched the shifting power dynamics between Mut and Rak play out via the sex they had together and by watching their intimacy we learned more about them.
Ridiculous chemistry. The main love story was supported by truly excellent emotional and sexual chemistry. I always believed in the attraction and the feelings between these two, and that helped a lot when the story didn't quite take me where it needed to.
Rak and Vie's friendship. I really loved that we spent time with these two as besties, and that they were genuinely so supportive of each other. Vie was a real MVP in kicking Rak's ass when he needed it.
Meena, the best child ever. What a delightful character who brought a lot of fun and lightness to the story. Her scenes with Mut were a true highlight.
And here are some things that didn't quite work for me:
Uneven focus for the main characters. Once we left the island to go to Bangkok, the entire show was about Rak, his backstory, his issues, his ongoing problems, and his needs, and Mut was kind of subsumed in his story instead of having one of his own. I was glad we got back to Mut's life at the end, but they really should have kept it present throughout so everything didn't feel so one-sided.
Shallow engagement with family trauma. And despite the fact that the story was so much about Rak's issues, the story never actually went deep on them. I still don't really understand a lot about his family dynamics. The show used his dad and cousin as villains and then his mom as an easy out to solve everything at the end, but we never dug into how all these people ended up this way in the first place. It was a real missed opportunity.
Rak's emotional journey. I was on board for much of it, but other parts felt a bit haphazard and all over the place. Sometimes it felt like he was suddenly progressing out of nowhere, and others it felt like he was backsliding just because the plot demanded it. I liked where the story took him a lot but the path to get there was pretty bumpy.
The side couple. WOOF. I have no idea what happened here, but that was a fail on just about every front. Mook was a hard character to love from the start, Vie felt like a completely different person with Mook than in all her other scenes, there was so much lying and manipulation for no good reason, and in the end they were left completely unresolved. If you are on the lookout for great gl pairings, you will not find that here.
So there you have it. This show is absolutely a mixed bag on its execution, so how much you end up liking it will probably depend on how strongly you connect with what it did well and where it dropped the ball. For me, it was a good experience and one I'll remember fondly. I'll definitely be watching the special when it's released and I hope to see this cast again.
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niki and quackity both are characters who have felt extremely powerless and unseen. they have nothing, or their lives are controlled by outside sources- they are shells and pawns unwillingly used and mistreated in a game much larger than them. in manberg niki sees through quackity, and quackity sees through her. they both want escape and to feel stability again; but they don’t get that. it only gets worse until it all collapses in and they have a first row seat to see it, feeling alone and isolated.
quackity copes with this by building. he tries to claim back power in any way he can- resigning from the cabinet and eventually returning with a plan of betrayal, taking office after schlatt dies, attempting to break the laws of nature and death just in the name of taking political power. when things go wrong he turns to the rubble and tries to build it up how he thinks is best. He moves on, he starts over, time and time again. He doesn’t slow down to process. he doesn’t give himself time to think over what has happened to him. he craves and searchs for power and eventually builds up his own empire.
niki also copes with this by building. she isolates and tasks herself with building a place for people to be safe- something she never got to have, and something she wanted to provide for others. it’s a distraction, an attempt to do good while she avoids what’s happened to and arround her. the isolation takes its toll and backfires, her own mental struggle and the weight of what she’s witnessed settles on her. niki resolves herself to not knowing why she continues to live. she builds her own tomb, a city once made to shelter one that now constricts her slowly. niki festers in her feelings, in opposite to quackitys running from them. she’s an open wound that she doesn’t let heal over, she feels her loneliness, she feels her rage, she feels the despair. she sinks her feet in and builds the world around her to be as bleak and isolated as she feels.
they both shelter from their past. they isolate and shut others out, especially those they love. they lash out and hurt those they love as a result of their own closed off emotional state and unresolved trauma.. but they start to heal in the same way, too. they open up and let others in. they share the burden they’ve carried solely on their shoulders with someone else and after so long they let themselves take a step back and breathe.
they both get an ending that isn’t hopeless. they get a chance to be happy.
idk. something to think about. i’m insane
#i’m not a c!quackity expert#this is my own interpretation#feel free to critique or correct#niki.txt#dsmp#c!niki#c!quackity#patoduo <3
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