#this is way longer than i thought it would be like i knew itd be LONG but its SO FUCKING LONG.. haha whoops :)

[so0ppa]

so... what are your favorite suomirock songs :3

this ask is akin to someone non-chalantly inviting all the circles of hell and satan himself into their living space. anyways, ask and you shall receive anon. i will be incredibly annoying and rambly for a whole long-as-fuck post because this topic is something i know way too much yet simultaneously very little about (im bad at keeping up w most bands' lore and member names and also only listen to a select few bands anyway v_v)

Right so i was planning on structuring this in some actually comprehensible way but I dont feel like it soo... lets fuck around idk. also feel free to raise your brow at some of these because theyre too "pop" or "iskelmä" i dont really give a shit genres are fake anyways 💥

TIISU MY BELOVED. There's a full recording of one of their live performances in Heinola from 2023. Which I happened to be at. So this, the banter and all the performances have a special place in my heart lmao. I could go into a lot of detail about this video and the songs in it but i wont since itd take up like. A majority of the post IM SO FUCKED UP ABOUT THIS BAND... If you have access to Yle Areena I'd recommend watching um all of their performances for the game show Hengaillaan lol... the show itself imo is mid but the music fucks soo... the fact they mostly played english songs is a travesty 😭 but the cover of Call Me Maybe makes it all worth it /silly. Anyway I also saw them live a little later in 2023 at one of their 10th anniversary gigs!! I got autographs that time from my fav Mikko Aaltio (every instrument lmfao), who left the band that yr :(, and the lead Henrik (Tiisu) Illikainen himself lmao :) only them since I wasnt about to stay for the rest of the band I was already anxious af about it 😭 uhh fun fact the drummers name is also Riku..... 🤨 and i have tiisu t shirt yayy which. im actually wearing under my hoodie rn wtf

SPEAKING OF MY FAV MIKKO AALTIO... he left Tiisu to do some other shit INCLUDING to focus on his own band, Paha Kurki!!!! Its hard to choose favourites from them which is FINE because their discography is prettyyy slim (1 single & 3 really short EPs) so its real easy to just listen to everything theyve released up to this point loll. Which I recommend btw because damn is it all good. Mikko's voice is soo... ^_^ i liek it tiihiii

so in Paha Kurki's self-titled song from their 2nd EP, Kolmin, they compare themselves to Ursus Factory, a way more popular finnish indie(??????) rock duo, since Paha Kurki started as a duo but "failed" due to gaining a 3rd member lol. Anyways, I think its an apt comparison vibes wise!! And also gives me an excuse to transition into talking about Ursus Factory!! LISTEN TO THEIR 2023 ALBUM IO, CHRIIISSTTT IT IS SOOO FUCKING GOOODDDD ?????? Pinkki pilvi (my 2nd fave album from them tbh) and Älä lopeta uskomista rakkauteen baby are also banger albums, but IO fucking takes the cake with how well it works as a whole in my opinion. The themes and just. Everything also hit hard for me honestly.. ummm they've actually got english versions for 3 of their songs (A Great Heart, Pomo The Master & Season For Everything) I definitely dont prefer them but if you dont understand finnish (likely /SILLY) and like understanding lyrics to songs. maybe give them a listen idk. The Virhe EP is also p good :)

hey soo remember when i mentioned the game show, Hengaillaan? well another band I wanna talk abt also performed on it, in the very first episode, actually... Luukas Oja :3c I'm not like their biggest fan or whatever, but damn if Sims, Parasiitti, Supersankari, Haaveminä and Väritetty todellisuus dont hit hard!!! Also their performances on Hengaillaan are also just great hehe :D

speaking of female led suomirock bands. Huora :) maybe the best finnish punk/metal band currently??? IN MY OPINION.... ^_^ Their most recent albums, Neljä Huolenaikaa and Älä Luovuta are some of my favourite albums just like in general :) I also saw them live actually, at Ruisrock in Turku... some year, idr. I thinkk the only time ive gone to a music event alone? :P if i had to pick favourite songs from them it'd prolly be Kohde vai esine, Sanni, Kuoleman odotusta eri tavoilla, Helvetin koirat, Loppu, (Älä) Luovuta, Njet, Vlad!; Sama olo, eri syksy; Koditon, Puukottaja, P.a.-Ska and Hautajaiset :)

another rlly good current finnish punk/metal band right now has to be Rasvamaksa!! I saw them live this year with my younger brother, and man were they WAYYY more energetic than the other bands at that same venue 😭 it was alot of fun hiihii and i also have a band tshirt of theirss. Rasvamaksa only has one album and an EP atm sooo get on it chop chop listen to them!! /nf j... anyway my fav tracks from them are VIIVA and LOLITA from their EP and HERKKÄÄ SETTIÄ from their album ^_^ id put them like a bit above Luukas Oja with how big a fan of them i am.. theyre good but in most songs the lyrics r a little boring and one note for me personally. if i just want something brain off angsty yelling tho i love to put them on lol

speaking of angsty punk. Negatiiviset Nuoret (literally translates to negative youth). ive listened to this band the least and idk shit about them other than the music so yk they might not even be youths... LMAO. I really like Mä Oon Niin Ruma, Soitin Pomolle, Niinku Sut Omistaisin and Kellokosken Prinsessa. um you can tell i basically havent listened to their 2nd album at all considering those are all from the 1st one .... orz anyway would it be weird to say this is a very bpd band to me. maybe. im saying it anyway hehe.

ok apparently i have alot more punk in my pockets than i initially thought. i haven't listened to Lapsuus in a while but from what i remember theyre really good. only got 2 EPs and 2 albums also. I reaaallly like the EP Haamuna Maailmassa and the song Viime kesän onnelliset päivät. anything else i cant rlly speak on >_<

christ, ive talked too much about bands i know jack fuck about. its YUP time baby. started as a more hc punk band, went on to do some progrock, and one of their more known songs is a love ballad (Rakkaus on pesti hulluuteen). im mentioning this for a reason i promise just. remember that for later (/silly). I'm preeeettyyyy sure they ever officially disbanded but theyve been on hiatus since like 2008 so thats basically just being disbanded tbh. anyway all that to say i missed my chance at seeing them live because i was too busy not being born yet 😔 /j. All their albums are fucking masterpieces you can read that as hyperbolic but to me. its true :) if you forced me to pick only a few albums though :( itd be Homo Sapiens, Toppatakkeja ja Toledon Terästä (a concept album about a fucked up town theres a tvtropes page for it if you want to get the gist of it), Normaalien Maihinnousu, Vapauden Kaupungit and Hajota ja hallitse 1993-2001 (actually not sure this counts its marked as a compilation but also. idrc so ^_^) and uh just songs wise i would pick. WAY TOO MUCH so lets go thru them hehe. Beelsebub ei nuku koskaan, Tänään kotona, Väärinkäsityksiä merellä, Mitä elämän jälkeen, Kuonamagneetti, Taivaiden maisterit, Alla jalavapuun, Murhaaja soittaa pasuunaa, Jos helvetti on täynnä, Yövieraat, Meidän on annettu pudota, Mitä luoja teki ennen kuin loi maailman, Tuuliajolla, Hauskat hautajaiset, Tavaroiden taikamaailma, Kuolematon, Normaalien maihinnousu, Meitä odotellaan mullan alla, Pohjaton säkki, Syyllisyys (this one hits hardd tbhh), Ihana elämä, Minä elän vaarallista elämää, Mikään ei voi mennä vikaan (actually i have a weird relationship with this song because i used to play it on loop when i was panicking in hopes of maybe not panicking. cant remember if it worked or not so shrug), Rankat ankat, Korppi kaiken yllä, Nyrkkeilijä, Korkeasta ruohikosta (finnish cover of Kõrge rohi by estonian punk band J.M.K.E. okay kind of a tangent but as a native finn estonian sounds soo fucking weird its like i feel like i understand and am supposed to understand but i dont. its so fucked up i need to learn it tbh), Herrasmiehet, Lihavia luurankoja, Tohtori Tulp esittelee alkuihmisen, Kuka pelkää raakaa lihaa, Suuri peto (also a cover but imo its way better lmfao), Kaikki hyvä ei ole terveellistä, Joutilas, Kaiken maailman pakanat, Eurooppa, Jos saisin kolme elämää, Nero, Minä en tiedä mitään, Maailmassa on virhe, Pullopää, Auringon pieksämät, Kunhan kuluu tuhat vuotta and Sanomisen pakosta (also hits hardd as an artist). ok that was way longer than i expected jfc.

im technically not done talking about YUP, because the lead, Jarkko Martikainen, has an album im soo fuckin obsessed with. Listen to Itse tehty elämä please 🥺 i got to see him perform it live last year :) idk if it really counts as suomirock but who gaf its really good :) maybe saying that Jäätiellä is an Ego/Critic song (TO ME, IN MY OPINION.. or whatever) will convince someone.... /lh

this is so long im kinda losing track of everything. have i mentioned Hassisen Kone yet. probably not. 3 banger albums, pretty short lived band, i had the chance to go see them at their 40th anniversary concert and missed it because i wasnt aware of them at the time so thats cool im totally not insanely salty about that. I dont really like Täältä Tullaan Venäjä as much as the other 2 albums but ymmv. um my fav songs : Oikeus On Voittanut Taas, Führerin Puolesta, Jurot Nuorisojulkkikset, Odotat?!, Tällä Tiellä, Hyvä Olla, Kupla Kimaltaa, Levottomat Jalat, Totuus, Eksyneet Lampaat, Julkinen Eläin and Pelko.. I need to listen to more Ismo Alanko (the lead iirc) projects but I havent yet v_v um at some point i will listen to everything from Sielun Veljet. Hold me to that or something lmao

apparently Zen Cafe is one of the classics so hey kind of a normal transition we're still on classic suomirock bands i guess ? I think I like Samuli Putro's solo stuff more tbh but Zen Cafe has good songs, such as; Herra heroiini, Idiootti, Tulis nainen, Monta kertaa(this one gets stuck in my head alooott), Tahdon halvan naisen, Särkylääkkeet, Taivas on kirkas ja napakka, Rakastunut taas(delphia aeon legion song tbh), Elämä moukaroi, Moi; Laiska, tyhmä, saamaton(me fr/j); Hontelot pojat, Puuenkeli and Rakastele mua.

Since i mentioned Samuli Putro might as well rec his 2023 album, Ikävä mummoa. again, not sure it counts as suomirock but like whatever. I also like the album Tavalliset hautajaiset :3c

Tehosekoitin!!! I used to listen to them alot more and they're like the first band I ever saw live... just listen to the Golden Greats album/compilation and the songs Kusipää & Taivaallinen Babylon and youre set thats basically um probably my favourite stuff from them /silly

does Apulanta count for this they're nu metal thats close enough to rock right. yea whatever they started as punk anyways. i saw them live at Ruisrock as well but like. not on purpose they just happened to be there lol. and it was before i got insane about some of their songs and started relating it all to my ocs ^_^ heehoo whoopsieess :3c ive linked to that spotify playlist that's just apulanta songs i relate to az/kai&"purjo" (aka "ac/kc&ig") enough already just find it in my suomirocking tag idk. uhhh the albums Heinola 10, Aivan Kuin Kaikki Muutkin, Kiila, Eikä Vielä Ole Edes Ilta & Kunnes siitä tuli totta are good iunno :p. the song Paha ihminen is also a fuckingg bangerrr. And um theyve got 2 albums, Apulanta (Import) & Viper Spank, that are just english versions of some of their songs idk

Aivolävistys is good!! I should've mentioned them earlier they're hc punk... Harvojen vallasta harhojen valtaan is a really good song.

okay i think thisll be the last band ! and i saved. the one im most insane about for last lmao. CMX is my favourite band forever and ever always um ever...... they started as a more hc punk, went on to do some progrock and one of their more known songs is a love ballad (Ainomieli). YUP IS SOOO SIMILAR TO THEM ITS SOO FUCKED UP AND SILLY DJKAJFJS.... tho unlike YUP, CMX has a way larger discography and only went on hiatus (again, not sure if they ever officially disbanded) in like 2018. i wouldn't say i have select favourite albums but there's certainly some i can say i dislike (save for a few songs). like idk i know its maybe their most prog work but Dinosaurus Stereophonicus just isnt for me 😔😔 i want to like it ... but alas... honestly otherwise most their albums are amazing. Talvikuningas SOLOS, i mean of COURSEE... its like a hard-scifi concept album (similar aesthetic to wh40k, im told) that is. so fucking hard to understand for me 😭 but also tbf i have not had my hands on the physical cd/lp and i suspect they would answer alot of my questions, like TjTT :P otherwise album wise I love Rautakantele, Vainajala, Seitsentahokas and Mesmeria. All 3 of the Cloaca Maxima compilations/albums are so worth as well :3c they have way more songs also so im nott fcukinng listing my favourites that sounds like hell ^_^

um the lead & lyricist for CMX (and the only original member of the band lmao), A.W. Yrjänä, like relatively recently released his first solo album, Heliografi :) i do not like it as much, tho his lyricism is really good so its fine just that carries it lol. he also wrote a book i still need to finish reading, and you can reaally tell hes a poet by the way he writes (in like a really good way imo...)

CHRIST okay im done AAGGHH sorry :) i barely get to talk about this shit bcz my irls do not listen to like. any finnish music :) :) and i feel stupid if i try to talk about it with my professional composer, choir lead and music teacher + incredibly-niche-progrock fan dad. because i dont know fuck all about music theory and im not about to learnn lmaaoo

[cloudysfluffs]

--And Once with Tickles!!

A/N: BLARHG i havent posted a fic of any kind in like four years. and i havent written a TICKLE fic in like SIX years!!!! so i might be a little rusty. but this fic has been in the works for OVER A YEAR NOW and itd be a shame if only my bf gets to see it :P so im posting it to da world!!!!!

Summary: basically just if the tickle scene from Sock Opera was longer ^^'' its literally my favorite tk scene of all time so now you can have an entire fic where i stretch it out for 5k words!!!!!!!!!!!! <3

Lee: Bill? Dipper? Bipper <3

Ler: Mabel + Stan

WARNING: THIS IS AN SFW TICKLE FIC!!!!! KINK/FETISH BLOGS DO NOT TOUCH!!!!! MOST OF THE CHARACTERS IN HERE ARE MINORS AND ALL OF THEM ARE RELATED!!!!! DON'T BE WEIRD!!!!!

“Whoah, whoah, hey-- hey, HEY!”

SMASH!

The cake prop crashed against the ground with a horrible crackling sound, breaking apart beneath both of their weights. There was a collective jump and gasp from the startled crowd. Even the puppets themselves-- or, at least, the soul piloting them-- seemed taken off guard.

Despite the panic and destruction, neither Bipper nor Mabel took too long to shake it off. Bipper landed on the ground, on his stomach, just a few feet away from Mabel, who’d landed on her side. Instantly, he pushed himself up, eyes wide, feeling around the floor for the journal. A stagelight swiveled, reflecting off the shiny gold cover, and both of them leapt for it with the determination of a starving animal on a hunt. They touched down at the very same time. They wore matching, angry glares, each gripping the journal so tightly that their knuckles were turning white. Mabel knew, as she squinted to avoid the spotlight, that there was no hope in saving the show. But there was hope for saving her brother! And if that meant sabotaging everything she worked for, then…Well, it was about time she sacrificed something for Dipper. 

They rolled across the stage, tumbling over one another, until Bipper’s head reached the edge. If he craned his neck backwards enough, he could see the confused and terrified face of the audience. Something he would’ve found amusing, if the stakes weren’t so high. Mabel was on top of him, her knee on his stomach, and both hands on the journal, tugging and yanking with all her might. He just held on, harder, gritting his teeth. The very same thought was in both of their minds. I’ve almost got it!

“Get out of my brother’s body, you evil triangle!!” Mabel yelled, pressing her leg down even harder. Enough to be uncomfortable, but not enough to cause any lasting damage. She really had to engrain that thought into her head. Once Bill got out of here-- and she would get him out of here-- it would be Dipper’s body suffering the consequences. He’d already been through too much. It turned out to be just enough to get the book to slip out of his hands. Both of their eyes widened in shock, but before Bill could give too much chase, she made sure to whack him with the journal. Just for good measure. She’d wanted to do that this whole time!!

Mabel stumbled to her feet, running back to center stage, just as Bipper was starting to sit up and rub his forehead. He growled, in a way she hadn’t heard since she was in Stan’s mind, in a way she knew her brother couldn’t replicate if he tried. Fascinatingly, she watched as his face seemed to heat up, reddening his skin even more than it had been already, as he pushed himself off the ground. If he were human, she may have assumed his failure had embarrassed him. But this was Bill, they were talking about…so, if she had to guess, this was his human-body equivalent of his yellow turning red. Kinda cute! In a weird, gross way. 

“Grrr…You can’t stop me!” He scowled, his eyes narrowing on the book. Mabel looked behind her. The set pieces blocked access backstage from this side, and while she could move to the stage stairs, or even jump down, that’d take a good amount of coordination. Before she could decide…she was leapt on. She gasped, feeling the air leave her lungs as she was tackled to the wooden floor. The journal slipped from her grasp, and landed on the floor beside her. Both she and Bipper placed their hands on it at the same time, hers on the edge, and his on the palm of the cover. Bipper was sitting on top of her, straddling her waist, his chest heaving as he panted. She felt breathless, too. But, as she stared up at him, still pink in the face, and with a tired, yet satisfied grin on his face…It was as if something clicked in her mind.

“I’m a being of pure energy, with no weakness!”

Mabel stared at him, almost in disbelief. It seemed so obvious. In any other circumstance, it would’ve been the very first thing she thought of, when searching for a method to gain the upper hand in combat, without actually hurting the other person. She did it to Dipper all the time! So often, in fact, that she figured the townsfolk wouldn’t bat an eye, if they saw her do this at her own show. For the first time, it was her turn to get to wear that smug, knowing smirk. She brought her other hand around to rest over the journal like a seat belt, just so he couldn’t snatch it while she talked. 

“True…But you’re in Dipper’s body!” She reminded, to which he huffed, as if offended. What, did she think he forgot? For once, it was like she could read his mind, because she picked up for him. She lifted the hand that wasn’t protecting the journal, and wiggled her fingers.

“And I know all his weaknesses!~”

Bipper quirked a brow. In the split second between her final comment, and what she was going to do next, she could see the cogs visibly turning behind his eyes. He wasn’t used to not knowing what was about to happen. Typically, at a glance, he could look at a person and see right through to their mind, where he could pluck their thoughts and plans right out. Sometimes, he knew what someone was about to do before they did. Having to rationalize like a human made it so he had to manually run through his own mental database, for what she could possibly mean…It was such a broad assessment. He was human, for christs’ sake. What wasn’t a weakness to them, really? They couldn’t handle being stretched too far, or bleeding too much, and their limbs could only bend to a certain point. Humanity was so fragile! It was honestly a mystery how they survived so long. But he’d pinned her like this for a reason; how could she possibly hurt him? 

“What do you mean his--?”

Before he could finish, Mabel lifted her wiggling fingers…and slipped her hand into his jacket, pressing them just underneath his arm. 

Bipper felt as if his entire body seized. In the half-second that the sensation touched down, he was overcome with a surge of physical reactions he’d never experienced before. First, he shivered, goosebumps freckling over his skin. It was as if every nerve in his body ignited, with an odd, fluttery tingling. Worse, perhaps…was the way he vocally reacted.He gasped, and squeaked, an embarrassingly high-pitched noise leaping from his throat. The glare, which he’d taken pride in withstanding, was forcibly wiped from his expression, replaced by a shaky smile. It felt like his insides were bubbling. But when he opened his mouth to express that concern…he realized what it was.

“GaHhh--! AAAaahhahahahahaha!” It was the urge to laugh. Uncontrollable giggles poured out of him like bubbles to a heated cauldron. The heat he felt rush to his face only made that metaphor seem all the more accurate. Mabel and the audience might’ve heard Dipper’s voice, but he heard his own. The helplessness in his tone disgusted him. Out of his own control, his reflexes went haywire, demanding that he get anywhere as long as it was away. Robbed of the motor skills required for any complex movements, he found himself toppling backwards, pinning his arms to his sides. He’d hoped falling would be enough to put distance between him and his tormentor, but it seemed like the opposite had occurred. The moment he was down, she took advantage, by climbing on top of his waist, instead. She wriggled the fingers of both of her hands under each of his arms, ruthlessly scribbling for long enough for him to feel as if any attempts at fighting back would be futile. And then, she slid both hands down, grazing his ribs, before settling on his sides. The motion elicited another yelp, and another full-body shiver, before he settled back into the helpless giggling that had possessed him before. 

It was unusual. It was unbearable. It…tickled.

“Tickle tickle!~” Mabel cooed, and for some reason, Bipper felt a heat rush to his cheeks. In fact, the burning sensation stretched all the way to the tips of his ears, making him feel compelled to wrench his eyes shut and turn his head away. The words-- or was it that voice?-- made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. Somehow, it seemed like her touch only tickled more, the teasing worsening the odd hypersensitivity afflicting his nerves. His hands locked around her wrists, and he arched his back, shoving pitifully while he used his heels to kick at the ground. Whether it was due to the tickle-induced weakness, or the pose was just that effective, he didn’t get anywhere. Mabel smirked, baring her braces like fangs, like she could see just how much the comment worked on him. Dipper couldn’t stand that, either!

“Awww, whatsa matter?~ Does it tiiiickle?~ Are you too tiiicklish to handle it?~ Kitchy-kitchy-koo!~”

“S-StahahaAAahahahahahahap!” He hissed, scowling, cursing the stutter in his voice. Damn Pine Tree’s twitchy little body and his squeaky little voice! How did he live, being so sensitive?? He couldn’t bear to listen to another word of that teasing, bringing his hands up to cover his ears. And, in retaliation, Mabel’s nails skittered upwards again. They passed over his ribs, before again settling into a gentle scratch just under his arms. It got the exact same reaction the downward motion over the same spot had caused; a gasp, a yelp, and a full-body shiver, all before his arms snapped right back down again. Both of them seemed irritated by that last response.

“AAGhh-! Whyhyhyhyhyhyhyhy cahahahahahahahan’t I mohohohohove my ahahahahahahahaharms?!”

“Reflexes!” Mabel chimed in, instantly, as if it were obvious. To a human, it may have been, but for Bill, ‘reflexes’ were an entirely foreign concept. He’d never felt so…effortlessly disarmed. And that was coming from someone who spent a good chunk of his life in the second dimension, and, the rest of the time, was confined to the mindscape. He was already relatively harmless. But somehow, when he had a physical body to interpret reality with, being helpless was so much more torturous. He knew the human body was pathetic, but really, how had they survived this long as a species, if all it took were a few pokes to entirely collapse them?? Perhaps it was a combination of how unfamiliar the sensation was to him, and how sensitive Dipper’s body was, anyway…but he felt he reserved the right to mentally complain, anyway. He felt naturally more whiny. As if Mabel could tell, she grinned, and retracted a hand.

“Here, let me help you!”

Her now-free arm shifted backwards, so her hand could lock around his wrist…and force it upwards, pinning it to the ground beside his head. The other hand, that had been trapped in place, wriggled its way out. She crossed it over his body, and switched which side she was attacking, her claws now slipping into his jacket to scratch beneath the arm she’d pinned. It all happened so quickly, Bipper hardly had the chance to look horrified…before he fully squealed, his laughter ratcheting up another octave. 

“EEEEeeehheheheheek!! ‘Hehehehehehehehehelp’?!” He echoed, offended, the bite of his tone lost in his giggling. He wanted to argue more thoroughly, but good god, that tickled so much more!! He arched his back, jerked at his elbow, and turned to one side, desperate for something-- anything-- to put distance between his skin and her nails. Talk about feeling disarmed! He thought it couldn’t possibly get any worse, and yet, here he was. 

“Yeah! Help! Now you don’t have to flail your arms around; you can just lay back and take it!” Mabel interjected, with an innocence that seemed far too natural for how cruel she was being. Bill saw some of himself in her, sometimes. With that kind smile, and flattery. So, sweetly deceptive. He had to hand it to her, she knew how to get ‘em! This girl was brimming with potential; the unicorns and butterflies and rainbows were just a thin blanket to mask the chaos that she was capable of. The little brat. Maybe he could use that someday. But now, it only aided in annoying him. 

“You’re welcome!~”

He wasn’t an idiot. He saw what she was trying to do. But just in case he didn’t, she told him, anyway. Mabel leaned down, eyes narrowed, so they were practically nose-to-nose. 

“Get outta Dipper’s body, or I’m gonna tickle you until you pass out!!”

He growled, trying to force the corners of his lips down into a frown. She wished it would be that easy! He may be weakened, and disarmed, but please! Who did she think he was? As if he suddenly realized he had control over his not-pinned hand, he reached over to try and grab at her wrist, to pry the hand attacking him away from the spot. It did work, partially, as the tugging would occasionally slide her hand downwards…but that only meant her wiggling fingers would graze his ribs, instead, and he’d be possessed by that yelp and full-body shiver that seemed to trigger every time. The reaction weakened him. As if he wasn’t weak enough! 

“Nehehehehehehehever!” He insisted, with just enough bite in his words for him to feel a swell of pride. He was starting to get used to it! His smile suddenly seemed all the more smug, practically a smirk, despite the fact that it was hardly warranted, in his current state. He was still laughing, and squirming, his entire body leaned to one side to reflexively counteract the nails scratching away at him. Mabel huffed. 

First, her eyes drifted to the stage. She wished she could see Dipper. To everyone else here, she was tormenting her innocent brother in front of an audience for no apparent reason. Worse, none of them, not even their most loved ones, would get an honest explanation. Whoops. She’d apologize to him later. In the meantime, she turned her head in the other direction.

Everyone out there seemed absolutely captivated. Well, for the most part, at least. Some seemed confused, others seemed shocked. A shocking amount seemed pretty flustered, while others sported the exact opposite mood. She could just barely see Candy and Grenda confusedly flipping through the script just off stage. But, generally, most of the crowd was enjoying this thrilling multi-media masterpiece. Even those from the Mystery Shack. In fact, maybe especially those three! Mabel couldn’t help but smile, as she met their eyes through the smearing, colorful stage lights.

Wendy was leaning back in her seat with her boots kicked up on the empty chair in front of her, an amused smirk on her face. Though she couldn’t hear anything coherent from the crowd from up here (and wouldn’t be able to, anyway, over Bipper’s high-pitched squealing), she could tell that Wendy snickered, as she elbowed Soos in the side. Soos was one of the members of the audience who seemed a little flustered over the whole endeavor. Even in the low lighting, Mabel could see just how red his face was. He was grinning nervously, and fanning himself with his cap, and flinched just a little too hard as he was nudged. It was all very sweet. Truthfully, she didn’t care if this ruined the show for most of the audience, because it wasn’t for them anymore. It was for Dipper! …But it did make her feel good, to see them enjoying themselves. And no one seemed to be enjoying himself more than Stan!

Earlier today, he seemed to be a little skeptical about coming. He was swayed incredibly easily though, which was rare for him. He was probably the most stubborn man the twins had ever met, and yet a good puppy-dog-eyed stare and a promise that the end would blow his mind was enough to convince him that maybe this memory was priceless. He’d even brought a camera to film it. Even with one of his eyes obscured by the pop-out window of the old recording device, she could see how widely he was grinning, the expression on his face one of fond amusement. He must have assumed that this was the ‘spectacular closing act’ that she’d been bragging about just a few hours earlier. It wasn’t, but if this went well, he’d never have to find that out! He caught her looking out upon the crowd, and tilted his head so more of his face was visible, his grin seeming all the more proud. He gave her a reassuring thumbs up, and she felt a new wave of confidence wash over her. She could do this.

Her eyes fell back to the demon pinned beneath her, who hadn’t stopped giggling and struggling since she shifted her attention a few moments ago. He’d probably been yelling insults she’d been too distracted to hear. She squinted at him suspiciously. If this were Dipper, she’d be jumping to his spot about now. Heck, that’s probably what she’d do when wrecking anyone! But…this wasn’t Dipper. It wasn’t ‘just anyone’. This was Bill! He already seemed to be getting the hang of this sensation, with how consistently now he was shoving at her hands, and how successful his thrashing was becoming. If she let up for even a second, he might even be able to wriggle away, or worse! She needed to not only tickle him to death, but she needed to make the session intense. What was something Dipper wouldn’t be able to stand…? 

Her gaze flickered to the crowd again. And, suddenly…she stopped.

Her smirk returned. Her wiggling fingers ceased, and instead that hand grabbed Bipper’s opposite wrist, so she was now pinning both to the floor. The demon-possessed vessel gasped the moment he felt a moment of solace, obviously annoyed by the fact that his giggle-fit didn’t immediately die. Every time he inhaled, or exhaled, he found he couldn’t stop laughing, like the feeling was still there, under his skin. But he was too out of breath to do anything about it! He fought with this natural, human response, while Mabel sat up as straight as she could.

“For my next act, I’ll need a volunteer from the audience!” She announced, proudly, as if it made any logical sense. The poor crowd was going to be so confused. But she didn’t need most of their approval. She only needed it from one. She grinned, and shut one eye, so she could point directly at her grunkle.

“How about you, good sir? You look like you’d make a fine actor!”

Stan lifted his head away from the viewfinder, visibly startled. He glanced to either side of him, pointed to himself, and brightened when Mabel nodded in approval. He didn’t hesitate any longer than that, handing the camera over to Soos (who fumbled with it for a moment, before giving a reassuring thumbs up) and climbing out of his seat. 

Bipper was only just starting to regain his composure, when he realized what was going on. He shook his head, and blinked open his eyes, squinting out at the crowd. Jesus, had the kid’s eyes always been this bad? He almost missed Sixer’s glasses. But, the very moment he processed that Mabel’s hands had released his wrists…thick, strong arms wrapped underneath his, scooping him up into a sitting position, pressed against someone’s chest. He felt like a cat being hoisted into the arms of their owner, unable to do anything but twist his shoulders and try to wriggle out of his grasp. Mabel was still sitting on his legs.  He glared over his shoulder. The light reflected off of Stan’s glasses, obscuring his eyes, and for some reason that made him look intimidating. Or maybe it was just the fact that he was in such a small, wimpy body; anyone could look like a threat, when everyone towered over you. His hands balled into fists.

“Wh-What is this?!” He scowled, stammering, trying to roll his shoulder to free it from the old man’s grasp. But it seemed like every inch that he managed to unwind, Stan just pulled him back even tighter. It was so effortless, it was hard to feel anything other than pathetic. No wonder this kid was getting tickled constantly! Everyone in town had a leg up on him!

“Let go of me!”

“This is called a grand finale!” Mabel declared, straightening her back and cracking her knuckles. The smirk on her face was downright sinister. An evil that Bill couldn’t help but think rivaled his own. She was an expert at this, wasn’t she? She knew this would up the game, considering the strength difference between them. Even with her best efforts, she wasn’t strong enough to keep him fully still. And even if she could, she’d lose leverage by being unable to use both hands. But the addition of another person-- him, especially-- had immobilized him completely, without her ever having to lift a finger. Not to mention how calculated this whole trap with her ‘grunkle’ had been. She hadn’t even had to speak word to him, for him to understand exactly where his place was, in all of this. Maybe they were psychic. Or maybe they really just did this that frequently. Man, he’d almost pity Pine Tree, if he deserved it! But he hardly had time to dwell on something like that, anyway. Not as he watched Mabel lift her wiggling fingers threateningly. 

“Last chance!”

She was bold, too. But so was he. And that would be his first mistake. Daringly-- challengingly-- he smirked.

“Pssh, yeah, right!” He chuckled, rolling his eyes. Mabel glared, as he turned up his nose, quirked a brow, and scoffed. Anyone who thought this was Dipper might almost see it as in-character behavior. He’d been similarly snarky, around this point in sessions. Stan even rolled his eyes right back, and tightened his grip, as if he’d found it predictable. But anyone who knew the truth, knew he wasn’t doing it for any reason other than to call her bluff. This was a pathetic excuse of a torture attempt. He thought smarting off would prove as much. When, actually…it did the exact opposite.

“Like I’d be convinced by a little tihihiiihihiHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHICKLING--!!”

Mabel’s wiggling fingers finally dug into his ribs. And it felt so distinctly different from the other spots, or even from how it felt when she was just grazing them earlier. It was like he’d been electrocuted, from the way his body jolted uncontrollably, and the way the sensation gripped him like a shock. The yelp of terror that jumped from his throat broke in the middle, fully replaced by helpless cackles. 

…Okay. Maybe not his proudest moment.

Maybe he should’ve known better. Maybe being in this body too long was getting to him. Maybe the stupid, human impulses that he’d gotten so good at ignoring also included this vessel’s apparent desire to talk himself into corners just to get himself tickled. Whatever the case, the whole time this had been going on, the more he felt his resolve…slipping. Exhaustion tugged at his eyelids, like his body suddenly remembered that it hadn’t gotten proper sleep in over twenty-four hours. Every part of him was sore, not that pain could even begin to compete with the tickly jolts shooting through his ribs. He considered the pro’s and con’s of dislocating a shoulder just to weasel out of here, but he couldn’t properly think. He swore he could literally feel circuits shorting in his brain, glitching and sparking and stuttering where the neat rows of coherent thought used to be. It had been a beautiful process to watch, from the other side…but was miserably frustrating, when it was your plans getting thrown out of whack! 

He wanted to growl. To kick, and scream, and either kill this vessel or one of the two holding him back. Whichever came first! But, all that came out was…

“SHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUT UHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUP!!”

…A very pathetic attempt at defiance. Enough that each of his attackers dared to snicker at him in amusement. He squeezed his eyes shut even tighter, thrashing and twisting in the restraints.

“W-WHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEN I GEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHET OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOUT OF THIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIIS, IHIHIHIHIHIHI’LL--! IHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI’LL--!!”

Mabel couldn’t help but notice just how…not-evil he looked, like this. Bill’s base form had no mouth, and yet he somehow always seemed to be grinning. Earlier, she’d seen that condescending smirk in Bipper. But now it was gone, and she was seeing a face she’d never quite seen before. It wasn’t quite the flustered, giggly look she got from her brother, but it was far from the invisible, malevolent smile that Bill was always wearing. It was something in between. It might’ve fascinated her, if she was any less focused on the task at hand. Her nails, while dull, knew how to press just right, to tickle as much as possible without translating into physical pain. She scratched at the spaces between his ribs, and played the bones like a piano, watching in satisfied amusement as every motion elicited the same, predictable reaction. Cackles, squeaks and voice-cracks echoed through the auditorium, almost sounding musical against the backing-track of her rock-opera, that no one had bothered to turn off. If anything, Bill was even squirmier than her brother was, which was certainly saying something. This was usually the point in the session where Dipper gave up fighting, especially when Stan was helping, since he obviously didn’t have a chance. But Bill still had some fight in him! 

“I don’t know what you did to deserve this, but clearly you’re gettin’ what’s coming to ya!” Stan accused, glancing over Bipper’s shoulder in an attempt to make eye contact. The kid was clearly avoiding it. But he still peeked up, for just a moment, if only to make a point to glare. Stan took advantage of his disorientation, knowing he was disarmed just long enough for him to be able to let go of his arms. Instead, he grabbed both wrists, and pulled them behind his back, like how a cop would while handcuffing you. But he didn’t need handcuffs, because his hands were big enough in comparison to grab both of the kid’s wrists in one of his palms while still having his fingers touch in the middle. And, with one hand free…he was able to pull out one last trick. 

Fingers skittered up Bipper’s spine, spurring out an involuntary shiver that was so intense, Bill was a little surprised it didn’t jolt him out of this body entirely. He didn’t get to dwell on how scarily close that had been to breaking him, though. Because in a second, that single skittering turned into a consistent, unrelenting scribble, and any coherent thought that was left slipped out through his fingers.

“AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! NOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!”

Right. Almost all of the Pines’ were ticklish here. Maybe he should’ve seen that coming. 

It was positively overwhelming. Every curl of his blunt nails against the spot had his nerves lighting up in a frenzy, activating the useless instinct that had him squealing and laughing like this whole ordeal was the most hilarious joke he’d ever been told. But no part of this was funny!! Not when it was him! It was humiliating, at best, and a total disgrace to his reputation at worst. He was glad the folks at home couldn’t see this, because they would never let him live it down. 

“Ooh! Good call, Grunkle Stan!” Mabel praised, finally looking back up to meet his eyes with an approving smile on her face. She wished she could give him a thumbs up, but her hands were kinda busy. Bill couldn’t help but bristle at how unfair it was, that Stan could restrain him like this. He couldn’t lean forward even if he wanted to, and leaning backwards only pressed him further into that hand! And, somehow, despite the trap being objectively more simple, it was more confining! Now, he didn’t even have the privilege of flapping his hands, or making vaguely threatening gestures. And it all just tickled more! It was cruel, and unusual. He wrenched his eyes shut, and felt tears build in the corners. Crying had always been an annoying, uncontrollable thing his puppets did, but it felt especially humiliating in this context. Way to rub salt in the wound.

“MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAKE IT STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP!!”

Whether it be a blessing or a curse, neither of the two around him had a chance to respond to that miserable display of emotion. Because, somehow mockingly, his body turned against him. When he tried to catch his breath, he felt a hiccup of air in his chest…that caused a snort. 

The two at either of his sides brightened. And the crowd aww’ed.

He’d forgotten they were there. He was on a stage, and yet, the fact that there were more than four of them here had slipped his mind. Earlier, if he’d remembered, he would’ve shrugged it off. Whatever, who cared if they saw him like this? It wasn’t his reputation that was going to suffer for it. It was Pine Tree’s, who now had to go home and live the rest of his life knowing that most of this town had seen him get tickled on stage. And that was still, objectively, true! He knew that. He knew none of them would think twice about it. So why did the sudden realization have his face blushing hotter? Why did he feel this horrible, anxious fluttering in his stomach, like he was full of spiders? He didn’t know. But he knew it had to end. 

He couldn’t take it. It wasn’t just his self-inflicted injuries that ached, now, it was others-- his sides, and his throat, and the corners of his lips, were all begging him to just stop laughing. Other than the ache, he was pretty sure he could feel this vessel overheating. Being put in this embarrassing position had struck a match inside of him that was slowly cooking him from the inside out. But more than that, he was tired. And that was hardly a feeling he even understood. Alas, the human urge to melt into a puddle and sleep for eight hours was, apparently, real. He was on the verge of uttering a genuine please, if this didn’t end soon, and he didn’t want to pull that card unless it was a life-or-death situation. So, apparently, he only had one choice left…

Damn it. It wasn’t fair! He’d let them have this win, but his fun wasn’t over. This plan was only the first of many tricks he had up his sleeve. He glanced up at Mabel one last time, eyes narrowing, as if he could glare at her very soul. But she only countered it with a smirk. She knew she couldn’t lose. She’d never lost a tickle fight against her brother! 

Suddenly, the sound of his laughter began to taper off. It quieted into a fit of twitchy, broken coughs; it almost sounded like he was glitching. But then he slumped in his spot, quiet…and all four hands retracted. Dipper’s body melted into his Grunkle’s chest, eyes closed, as if he was out cold. Both attackers pulled back for a moment, visibly tense, and met eyes. Mabel, because she was testing to see if this was a good sign…and Stan, because he was genuinely startled. Jesus, he’d never passed out like that before! Usually he called it, when he knew he was getting to the end of his rope! Did they kill him on accident? There was a beat of silence that was just long enough to raise concern...and then, quick enough to be startling, Dipper sat up. He gasped, and clutched his chest, panting like he’d been awoken from a nightmare. And, well…he sort of had! Both of his family members jumped.

“Ahh!! He’s back!!” Mabel accused, lifting her clawed hands in preparation to strike again. She didn’t expect her brother to scream, flinching backwards in horror. 

“AAHHhh, M-Mabel!! It’s mehehe, it’s me, it’s me!!” He pleaded, bringing up his arms to protect himself in a panic. The squeaky, nervous little voice sounded different than it had, just a moment ago. Less confident, less angry, and more…well, like her brother. If it was an act, it must’ve been a pretty convincing one, because she lowered her hands. Slowly, skeptically, Dipper lowered his, too…and she saw his round, brown eyes staring back. Her posture fully relaxed, and her grin returned to her face. It actually worked!! Tickling always worked. 

[crow-ur-beloved]

various jrwi headcanons because the worms in my brain (potential autism) wont shut up. no real plot spoilers except for one, but its marked :]

the suckening:

shilo is like vampire immunocompromised, which added to the pile of reasons his mom used to keep him inside the castle because she didnt want him to immediately get 37 different diseases and Die. (if vampires can have allergies then id like to think they can also get sick. i dont actually know if thats possible in the vtm system but i dont care they can in my heart)

genderfuck/genderpunk afab emizel. i feel like thats the only label he'd use, if he had to have one. i dont think hed label his sexuality because he wants to be an enigma. but he Definitely likes men.

bizley said in the qna something that can Only let me think of shilo as aromantic. maybe aro And ace... i dont remember what he said exactly aughhgh i wish i did...

shilo fidgets with his hands like all the time. his mother and uncle tried to get him to stop and sit still because it wasnt very princely and whatnot but my boy needs a fidget toy. i think hed go craaaazy with an infinity cube

i feel like me saying arthur bennett is a bisexual doesnt even count as a headcanon like i think thats just a given. i feel like itd be more surprising if i said i thought he was straight. all beautiful beautiful vampire men have to be lgbtq. its the law actually

arthur never officially broke up with mary. mans just Left one day without warning. probably left a note that said "sorry. -arthur" on it. i doubt he had it in him to say goodbye to her face or his reasoning for it (he thought hed inevitably hurt her because of what he is and what he did to the people he loved in the past, because bad luck seems to follow him everywhere... oughh he makes me ill). he definitely used finding a new lead on anya somewhere else in the country as a good reason to dip. at least, as good a reason as it couldve been for him.

maybe controversial but i 100% think arthur and magnus had a one-night stand at the beginning of their relationship, before magnus met jerome, and they never talked about it again and pretend it never happened. cannot explain how real this is to me.

riptide:

ftm chip who 100% innately knew he was a dude since the moment he could think. like when the black rose pirates picked him up, he got confused when they started referring to him as a girl at first. probably never got The Talk from them, so was Very confused when he hit puberty. Reuben reluctantly helped him steal to pay for top surgery.

since tritons live at the bottom of the ocean, they would have eyes that are far more sensitive to light to allow them to see better since little light gets all the way down there. gillion was Immediately blinded by the sun when he surfaced and still gets headaches from how bright it is in the oversea, but they've gotten better the longer he's been up there. tritons are built to adapt to all kinds of conditions, so his eyes have slowly been getting a darker bluish-purple the longer he spends above the ocean; they were originally more of a light blue-grey.

in tandem with the last one, chip thinks hes either going crazy or a bad friend because he Swears gill's eyecolor is different than last week but how could that be possible, thats not just something he can do, right? why would he be able to do that???

if gillion gets knocked onto his back without warning he does that thing that sharks do where they get paralyzed for a bit when they get flipped upside down. its scary because he can see everything but cant do anything. he also definitely forgot to tell chip and jay about this fact and scared the Shit out of them the first time it happened around them.

gillion can also change his sex like some fish can. its the reason he can lay eggs. i think this makes it safe to say genderfluid/nonbinary/generally trans gillion tidestrider is highly possible and even probable in this headcanon. what im saying is t4t fish n chips.

not to headcanon all my favs as trans but i cant help it. it is the highest honor i can bestow upon them. anyways. mtf jay ferin. ava always knew and was the first person jay came out to. jay was also 100% named jayson after her father and went by jay most of her life anyway as a nickname and just decided to stick with it instead of picking anything else. may was always very openly-supportive of her. jayson was as supportive as a generally strict, overbearing, unsupportive-in-everything father can be. jay totally came out to him and the first thing he said to her was something like, "as long as it doesnt interfere with your navy training," and may promptly kicked him under the table and made him say something nice.

kiras trans too btw. she came out before jay and helped jay discover she was trans. and that she liked women.

(spoilers for 109 and beyond) chip can't entirely remember what he looks like. everytime he focuses on the illusion of hiding that hes practically just a skeleton now, it changes just a bit. freckles in the wrong places, the wrong shade of orange for his flame tattoos, too much light in his eyes, too much muscle on his arms. jay notices it but cant bring herself to say anything. she knows the illusion is meant to keep everyone from worrying, but, everytime she sees something off about it, she just remembers what he really looks like underneath, and that somehow feels worse.

blood in the bayou:

all these bitches gay as hell. kian is pan. rands got a lot of internalized homophobia. rolan probably too. its the 80s, man.

apotheosis (haven't finished it yet so idk how true these'll be lol):

agender rumi. godbless.

also rumis a theater kid. he got the lead in every musical he auditioned for because he could literally just shapeshift. theyd make up a new identity and appearance for every role and get to know everyone on the cast and then mysteriously drop off the face of the planet as that person when the production was over and nobody would know it was them.

peter has actually tried All Kinds of things. weed. yoga. multilevel marketing schemes. you name it, big chance hes done it at least once and didnt like it. he doesnt know how he ends up in the situations to try it, either.

[instexcamera]

hi sweetie! it’s 🐏 again. i’ve been so busy with college work i haven’t been around ~

i’ve been on.. well, you can say a shu brainrot again. while leo will always have my heart, i have a huge soft spot for pink characters (๑´·.̫ · `๑) esp if they’re meanies

i’ve been thinking of this one specifically scenario involving shu. imagine you’re a doll, his doll. a doll he was given/was made by him. he loves you as his doll, and takes good care of you like how he would take care of mademoiselle. but one day.. you come to life. yet, you aren’t a doll anymore. you’re a human, who looks exactly like his doll. with the same name, and the same face. he’s not sure if he should help you, or if he should give into his urges… as, well- your doll clothes are now too small for you to wear, as you’re now the size of a human girl. you’re a dumb girl too.. asking your master why this happened and if he can help you find some new clothes.. sigh~ whatever will he do? - 🐏

Hii 🐏 anon it's been a while! Your rambles are always so nice to see! Don't worry I've been busy too, luckily I should be free fairly soon (finally)

I've actually been thinking of Shu lately too, I want him to ruin me, I also accidentally made this longer than I thought

Ooo interesting, being a doll that Shu made, spoiled, and then one day coming to life? I imagine he may be too shocked at first, making you clothes he always wanted to see you in, and now it's even better because you can tell him much your truly appreciate him

Except he soon realizes your actually quite dumb, you of course knew you used to be his doll and belong to him but you can only vaguely recall your time spent with him. Every day he would have a onslaught of new questions, some to cute and having his mind wander. He'd most likely be disgusted at first but eventually give in. But he would never tell you, just sneaking glances at you wondering if what he wanted was right or not and how he would even go about asking you

Eventually you'd want to repay everything Shu has done and will do for you, having no income and living with Shu you'd be grateful. He would see this as the perfect opportunity, and once he revealed his fantasies you have no problem. He wouldn't immediately pounce on you, wanting to plan out a time, after he is not one to just give up on things he had planned

When he can finally have you he's too overwhelmed, wanting to try too many stuff with you for just the first time. He'd start out by tasting you, wanting to know if you would be just as sweet as he'd imagined. His tongue would be so good on you, having never felt such intense pleasure before he can have you cumming in his mouth within minutes

He doesn't want to tire you out before he can even truly get started so after your second orgasm he sinks himself in. You'd be just as tight and warm as he hoped, almost sucking him in. It would drive Shu insane. He hadn't imagined you'd feel this good around him. You'd be vocal too, not being used to these new sensations. Itd get to the point after your nth orgasm Shu would have to use his hand to cover your mouth, afraid one of his roommates hearing you

One thing he would be curious about though, is could he breed you? Shu would cum in you as much as his body would allow before he gave out, wondering if perhaps you could carry children. The answer is no sadly but that just means Shu can use you to his hearts content and never have to worry!

Shu would also use you as his model, letting you wear cute outfits but he would also put you in lingerie. Showing off your body in ways he loves, he would also use this as an excuse to feel you up, he would never let Mika touch you however

[milf-lover42]

I've been thinking about Georgina Orwell an alarming amount this past week but I think I've exhausted all the good fan content out there 💔, tumblr posts, fanfics, hell even whatever pinterest gave me has run dry. I'm sad, I'm contentless, and I'm shamefully in love with Georgina Orwell.

That was longer than I thought itd be but basically the point is that if you have any advice for where to look next then I will take it, and if not then I am humbly asking you for any headcanons or anything you have 🙏

THANK YOUUU SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG!! YOU HAVE WONDERFUL TASTE IN WOMEN!!!

Dear anon I am so so unbelievably sorry for the time it has taken to get to you. I, an Esmé kinner, and my partner, a Georgina kinner, think about this ask every day and have been dying to answer you. Life has just been all over the place.

I would say that these headcanons are just that, and if you disagree then that’s fine, but truthfully I think of what we have come up with over the years as the real and actual truth and canon of the series. With that in mind! Here you go, I hope you enjoy!

Lore headcanons

First and foremost!

No matter the version, book, show, or continuation of the movie that never happened… Georgina survived her “death” at the Mill. In show canon, obviously there’s just an escape chute in the furnace, easy peasy, everyone has said this.

In book canon… yeah okay sure she tripped and was sawed in half at the mill. However, that woman has surely seen an Alice Cooper concert and knows how to fake a gory death live. She probably taught him how to do it to be honest.

So. She lives through Miserable Mill no matter the version. That woman is unkillable.

Georgina’s family is Old VFD. Like the Orwells were founding members type shit. Maybe it was her parents, maybe her grandparents or further, but either way, she was raised knowing everything. She was one of few members capable of learning about VFD and its inner workings from her own family - long before they died. She is the last keeper of every secret. She knows more things about the history of the organization than most of the sugarbowl gen can even begin to piece together. If VFD had nuclear weapons, Georgina Orwell would be the only one left who knew the codes, and that includes the Sinister Duo. Because of this, she’s very disconnected from the other members that we know of because they just don’t know about the truly dark information that VFD has kept secret from itself. She is technically still VFD, and in her earlier life was a dedicated member in some capacity, but she has no strong allegiance to it aside from her secret keeping (though that is more familial allegiance) when the SBG undergoes their schism.

Characteristic headcanons

BOTH of her knees are bad, that’s why she carries a cane. She doesn’t always need it (see: how often she simply holds it instead of actually placing it on the ground in the show), the pain flares up at different intervals and usually only in one leg at a time, but she always carries one A) because it is her sword and B) because that way no one can ever tell if it’s a good or bad day for her as far as knee pain goes.

She takes her coffee with no creamer, but does use sugar. It just varies in quantity per day. NEVER creamer or milk. Also is totally someone that’s a “don’t talk to me before my morning coffee” person. She doesn’t ever say this, she doesn’t have a nonsense mug that says it. However, if you try to speak to her before her coffee she will simply ignore you. She doesn’t get mad or glare or anything. She just… does not care until she’s had coffee. So it’s best to just wait because you won’t get anything out of her until then.

Tea she takes plain, nothing in it, no milk, no sugar, no lemon, nothing. Just. Tea. She isn’t a tea snob by any means, she will drink any tea she is given. If it’s bad tea she’ll just think that it wasn’t great, could be improved, but will take NO steps to improve it herself. She doesn’t even look at what type she is buying and she has no favorites. She likes tea enough to buy and make it but she literally does not care enough to select one. She just picks one at random every single time. She has had some truly horrible teas in her time without complaining or changing her habits once.

If you ask her what matcha is she will have NO idea what the fuck you are talking about.

Thank you so much for the ask, I love talking about my wife. I have so many more headcanons but pretty much all of them revolve around the idea that she and Esmé are together pre and post series (I am writing a fic slowly but surely to better explain this dynamic) and that they adopt Carmelita after the hotel. In the case that you are not an Eswell shipper I am keeping them to myself for the time being, but should you want that specific Georgina content I am more than happy to oblige! Just shoot me another ask and I will begin to compile it for you.

[amazingmsme]

Curtwen hc time! Bc we always need some more of these. (And strap in theres a few—)

First things first, i ADORE your last hc with Curt finding out about Owen first. I love the lines of dialogue beforehand between the two of them so SO much. I like that Owen would be like "stop tickling!" rather than "stop tickling ME", makes him sound more british.

Alr here are my thoughts:

Curt obviously spends a lot of time on his hair to keep it ✨️perfect✨️, but actually so does Owen. Owen uses a lot of product to keep his longer hair silky and soft, while Curt uses product specifically for looks. SO Owen loves that when theyre making out his hair ends up all up in Curt's face. Curts squinting and squirming and like "Owehehen- use a hair tie!" and Owens like "I literally just washed my hair, I'm not going to ruin it now-" so Curt has to suffer through giggles.

I will always and forever adore Barb being unwillingly involved in the boys' lil games, SO— Curt keeps asking and asking Barb to buildnhim somrthing that'll help him get revenge on Owen, but he never specifies what he wants the invention to do. So Barb's like "Mega, if you cant tell me what you want the invention to DO, i cant make one for you!!" and Curt tries to explain it in the vaguest way possible so that 1) she doesnt think he only wants it for himself and 2) itll still do what he wants it to do. And wventually when she connects the dots she teases the hell outta him. Curt makes excuses about the 'bad guys' bring thrown offguard or itd be helpful in interrogations, but Barb says "no one would ever use tickling in an interrogation, Mega" and Curt doesnt have the willpower or pride to correct her.

Owen has ticklish arms. There i said it. He wore a tak top while he and Curt were cuddling, and Curt just traced lines up and down the soft skin of his inner/outer arm. He tries SO FREAKING HARD not to tense his muscles because he knows as soon as he does Curt will notice. So hes just like "Curt could you cut it out? You're nails are itching me." and tries to move out of the way. But Curt senses somethings up and prods him (figuratively and literally) about it until he spills. Owen's laughter from soft tickles is so much different from when he's "getting wreckt". Its very breathy and soft, and he covers his face with the back of his hand to hide himself, but doesnt actively lean away from the feeling. Curt gets heart-eyes and immediately wants to hear more. Owen's throwing insults at him to stop, but he just lays there giggling into the side of the couch.

Finally, LETS👏TALK👏ABOUT👏CURT'S👏TICKLISH👏EARS👏. Our canon. Our bread and butter. Curt originally hates wearing earpieces because Barb hadn't perfected the technology yet and it always buzzed. He got yelled at because one time on a very important mission in Budapest Curt was losing his gd mind with how tingly his ear was feeling and he had to take it off. When Barb couldn't get ahold of him, she knew she'd give him an earfull later. Curt also has issues with Owen. Now, Owen loves Curt's ears. He thinks theyre a cute shape and he loves that theyre so sensitive. Owen adores tracing them and pecking them. Depending on the day, Curt wil either get major goosebumps from Owen, or lose his shiy immediately as he did in the famous interrogation scene. Owen always keeps an ostrich feather in his coat pocket. He rarely uses it, but he likes that Curt knows its always there. Its like its watching him 👀

THAT is all i have, i know it is alot but i am obsessed w these two and i just aAA-

AAAAAAAAA THESE ARE SO FUCKING CUTE I’M DYING I NEED CPR STAT!!! These two are gonna kill me, they’re such fucking dorks I love them I love them I love them! & I love that it makes him sound more British, I didn’t even think of that but now that you pointed it out I can’t stop seeing it!

I absolutely LOVE the difference in hair care between the 2 because they both obsess over their hair in different ways. Curt will style & gel his hair before he even thinks about stepping out the door because he’s always gotta look his best. Meanwhile Owen takes fucking forever after his shower brushing it & putting products in it to help it grow, heal split ends, make it soft, literally the works. Curt’s always like what the hell takes you so long??? & Owen’s just like “you have your hair routine, I have mine”

But it makes his hair so silky smooth & soft & it’s the perfect length to brush against Curt’s neck & ears when they cuddle or make out & it makes him so blushy & giggly because wtf hair shouldn’t tickle! But Owen absolutely loves the fact that he doesn’t even have to use his hands to get him laughing

On a related note, his stubble is the bane of Curt’s existence, it should be illegal

& omg Barb is constantly flipping between extremely amused & very annoyed, these boys never give her a fucking break! She’s so patient with Curt trying to find out what the fuck he actually wants from her, but he won’t stop beating around the bush & is being vague af. So she’s just like “damn if you can’t even say it you can’t be trusted with it” & then he tries to make more of an effort to actually describe what it is he’s looking for & she just gets more amused by the second. & when she says no one would use that in an interrogation he like mumbles under his breath something like “well Owen did” or “must be an MI6 thing” & he’s just being classic sassy Curt but she hears what he said & is like wait a fucking second. “Curt you can’t be serious. Agent Carvour is a professional” & he’s getting flustered & huffy & just goes “yeah, a professional pain in my ass. So can you make it or what?” She has it ready for him by lunch the next day & demands a “full report” on the device’s performance. She even had a sticky note with it that just says “give him hell ;)”

FMVRMAGELW I AM FOAMING AT THE MOUTH RN! TICKLISH ARMS ARE SO UNDERRATED! Sorry for yelling but this really has me in a chokehold. Owen is pretty averagely ticklish in all the normal spots, but I like to imagine he’s a lot more sensitive in harder to reach or more unconventional spots like his arms. Light touches here drive him up the fucking wall ok, he cannot take it whatsoever. Immediately breaks down in a fit of giggles. He tries to hold out, but breathy snickers always force their way out as he squirms around trying to suppress his wide dopey ass grin. Curt thinks it’s the cutest fucking thing he’s ever seen in his life, & he’s right. His forearms are pretty bad & he can’t help but twitch away with a huff of laughter when Curt brushes over the skin there. But his biceps? That’s a good way to kill him. Light tickles there will have him in shrill hysterics & squeezing the muscle will draw out full on belly laughs. Owen didn’t even know he was ticklish there until Curt, & so he was really trying to hide the spot from the both of them. Because what a stupid fucking spot to be ticklish, he did not need to know how sensitive that spot was & he really didn’t need Curt to find out either. But he can’t lie to him, so they went in a little journey of discovery together

Bro we’re so damn lucky that we got canon ticklish!Curt I literally couldn’t believe it! & on his ears no less, like that is legit one of my favorite spots! It’s just so sweet & cute & the way people giggle & scrunch their neck for protection is so kxganssmabfi & that’s his literal introduction to the show!!! Like he legit goes from suave spy who never cracks under pressure to cutest giggly dork in the world in seconds flat! Like wtf they can’t do that to me! But I fucking LOVE how he can’t handle the ear piece because he’s too sensitive there & he just straight up ditches it! & when they ask him about it he’s all dodgy & embarrassed & not giving a straight answer until Cynthia threatens not to pay him for the assignment if he can’t answer her & he just blurts it out, blushing so much & Cynthia just scoffs like “Jesus Mega, that’s it? Why didn’t you just say so, no need to make such a big fucking deal out of it” & he’s so shocked because he honestly expected a lecture about how a spy shouldn’t be ticklish, but she was cool with it??? & she can kinda sense what he’s thinking so she says “look, we’re all human, I get it. I’ll get Barb to make some adjustments” & he thinks that’s the end of it but now she just uses it to tease the shit out of him when he’s least expecting it

His ears are Owen’s absolute favorite spot because Curt is soooo cute & giggly when he tickles him there & it’s one of his worst spots, & he’s a bit of a masochist & likes to bully his boyfriend. & I’m fucking dying thinking about him carrying around that feather all the time “just in case” like just imagine the first time Curt stumbles upon it! Maybe he’s looking for something in his pocket or grabbing his jacket for him & he just freezes & turns completely red. & he pulls it out & looks at Owen like “what the fuck is this???” & Owen looks up & smirks like “well you should know what that is” all smug & shit & he fucking has the audacity to wink at him. He knows exactly what he’s doing, & Curt really can’t handle it

Also worth noting: this is one of the top pics that comes up when you google Owen Carvour

I love them so very much, if you couldn’t tell

[magnoliamyrrh]

genuine question how did u deal with your pregnancy scare because i think im going through one at the moment :(

hey dear <3 im sorry to hear that ur going through this, i hope its gonna b a false scare. it can definetely be scary and both times when I've gone through this it made me feel rather crazy

before i say anything else ill say tho: i went through this luckily in a place that allows abortion and knowing i had the money for tests or an abortion. if you dont, please reach out and ill try my best to work together to figure out something that would work. and if itd be really hard to get the money for tests (you can get those at most pharmacies and bigger stores) or an abortion any other way, please also reach out to me; i can most likely help out at least a bit with that. know that you're not alone, many of us have gone through this; it happens 🫂

...mostly, i tried to keep myself grounded and not spiral, which was hard, but i tried. i tried to tell myself that until enough time passed to take a test, there was nothing I could do about it, and thus it'd be best to just not think about it as much as possible until then; just set an alarm for that day and see then, because no amount of worrying, spiraling, thinking, etc. in the meantime would change anything. i also tried to not spiral into self hatred or self blame too much, because that again wouldn't be productive or change anything, just make me feel worse. these things happen, it is what it is.... i still thought about it and freaked out from time to time and it was always in the back of my mind, but trying to just think about it like this helped me during that time, and helped me from losing it as much as i could have..... i also had a tendency to want to put off getting a test and to avoid it, but I tried to tell myself again, that weather i know or dont know it wont change if its positive or not, and thus it would be better to know, and to know before the whole thing goes on longer if it is so. so, taking the actual tests was definetely anxiety inducing and scary, but i tried to tell myself that it had to be done, and it was the better option, and that I would be more okay if I knew, than didn't

.... one of my issues personally was that despite whatever rational thoughts i was having about if i was pregnant i realistically should not keep it for a very long list of reasons, i found out that i had an instict from somewhere in me to want to do so anyway. thus, i was more reticent to find out if i actually am or not, because I didn't know how I would handle that. i really struggled with this both times, dont know if you are. what helped me with that was just telling myself that no matter what, i couldn't. listing to myself all the reasons why it wouldn't work out - both for myself, and because even more importantly i wouldn't realistically be in a position to provide a kid everything they would need and everything that i would want to give them.... and trying to tell myself too, that its alright if i need to get an abortion; its not a bad thing (even though I generally feel this way, I've tended to end up personally conflicted when it comes to me). now, idk how your life is, where you're at, and how you're feeling about all this. what I can say is, if you are actually pregnant it's going to be your decision, and you'll get through it, and you'll be okay, but please if that is the case, really think about it.... but I would generally say, that is not something to keep too much on your mind until you take an actual test (or your period comes). it helped me to tell myself all the thoughts and contemplations just arent doing too much or taking me anywhere until i know

something i tried to tell myself too and that I'll tell u too, is that its gonna be okay. some women have a hard time with abortions, and others don't - thankfully ive never actually had to have one, just been there for friends who have- but it's going to be okay. you'll get through it and come out the other end and you'll be okay. you'll be okay until you find out and after you find out, whatever the results may be. you'll get through it, as you have gotten through other things in life <3

.... im sorry if this didn't help too much, but that's basically how I got through... the first time this happened it was actually due to something non-consensual too which was kinda a different kind of scary and crazy feeling to deal with, and I hope that's not the case with you, but if it is im sorry, and if you want you can send me another ask and I'll share how I got through that one..... but.. mostly.. just try to be gentle and kind with yourself, and try not to overthink until you can get an actual answer. do other things you enjoy, get other stuff you need to get done done, meditate, listen to music, talk to people, whatever may help you keep calm and take your mind off of it in the meantime. and know that you're not alone with going through this, and that youll b okay. ❤️🧡💛 wishing you the best 🌸

[blackvail22]

also (this is my third or fourth post within a 30 minute timeframe btw) my dad made me uncomfortable tdy because i went to my room when my mom started yelling (by coincidence tbh i just wanted to lay down bcos i had a headache and was tired and i have no couch/sofa in my living room) and when i went down for dinner he kept asking me "what did mom say to make you mad. i know her. i know you" and it truly just made me uncomfortable and unsafe and he seemed a little drunk so itd make sense hed do that and im scared that my dad is going to cross a boundary now that i confide in him more than my mom

what doesnt help is my past!!! i have been groomed online multiple times, and--i cant believe im saying this--lying about my age saved me once. i told them i was the same age i told you (sometimes id say 16 which was SO obviously a lie). this one guy, his name was pierce (allegedly), told me "my dad needs a photo of your birth certificate in order for me to keep talking to you" (this guy was 20 AT LEAST. why would he need parental approval?) because i lied abt my age and name, OBVIOUSLY i was panicking. i thought abt doing it ngl. i was like "how am i supposed to change my birth certificate to say im am who im saying i am?" and then i thought "how the hell am i supposed to access an important document that my mom has wo her looking through my phone again?" so i was like "no. i cant do that" and he got all mad and was like "well im blocking you then" and i said "thats fine. im not even supposed to be talking to you anyways" i remember the exact date and where i was exactly during all of it and what i did afterwards (watch the heathens mv by twenty one pilots, it happened the same day as publication around 2pm)

god, pierce was such a weird guy. i forgot about him until recently. i met him on minecraft after my parents "banned" me from roblox. in minecraft he'd make me roleplay with him but like... yk... it was weird. he would make us write everything in a book and he would store all of them in a chest (there was at least 40 books of this). there was a time (i regret this so deeply) he asked me for my phone number, and i gave it to him. from then we would text each other a lot, and we would skype. i dont have any recollection of him ever talking when on skype. i think he would type everything out, making it weirder. also, i had the squeeky little kid voice so he obviously knew i wasnt however old i told him i was (i think 16). also, i very much DID NOT look that old either. i still have the photos from then... i looked so young. i could see 12, maybe? bur 16? no. i had a power outage once, making me unable to use my phone for a few hours. i had a panic attack because i was so afraid of him being upset with me (he was) and he threatened to kill himself. i didnt want to do any of the things he told me to do. i didnt want to hear any of the sexual comments he would make about me. i didnt want him to talk about how much he wanted to make me have a big family and enact all of *that* out. i didnt deserve to be treated like that, and i shouldve listened to my parents when they told me to block his number. i feel so responsible for everything that happened to me back then and even with the more recent events. i kept saying no but he kept going on about it. i shouldve just blocked them. i shouldn't have kept him in my life any longer than b told me to. i just liked the company and i didnt want to be lonely again... i didnt want it all to end up this way... *that* way. if i think abt it, i wouldnt have been bullied so extensively or experienced that thing his friend did (and they both said i was a whore) (*side note i never talked abt the thinf his frkend did and i truly do not want to talk abt the specifics!!!!!) and sometimes i think theyre right. i still have the messages from last year when he reached out to me. "i cant have forced you to do anything when im online!!!" u did though. if i blocked u or unadded you youd blow up our friends forcing them into the situation bcos u knew theyd be on ur side and theyd bully me or find a way to con me into talking to u. if i told u no, i dont want you to do that, i dont want to do that, youd call me a bitch and a whore and wouldn't stop begging for it after i said no and making me do it/go with it to make you shut the fuck up. are there a lot of things i said that i regret? yes, absolutely. honestly if he spread screenshofs out of context i would 100% be called a whore, a liar, and that i wanted it. but i only did it to make him shut up n not be pissed!!!!! seeing his name on a church sign in my town makes me shut down every time. he traumatized me NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENED he traumatized me, in more ways than just that one. it truly reversed my progression by a lot. i cant talk abt it ever because i feel like no one will believe me or blame me for it.

anyways this all contributed to the changing and and scarring of my perspective of relationships--platonic, romantic... theyre all ruined for me. i always have a wall up now, and my ex did not help that at all! actually made it quite worse. im more vulnerable when it comes to the things i like, and im extremely careful when i make decisions that involve other people. whenever someone is extremely quiet near me, i start to panic. whenever i talk about my day, im scared people will not care about anything i have to say. they dont have to care, but its nice to have ppl care every once in a while

anyways ive been typing for 20 minutes now bcos im on my phone. its nearly midnight and i have to be at the hospital at 9am for my prodecure that is at 11am. im terrified but its okay

toodles!

wait no song time

d4vd has so many good songs he's def in my top 10!

okie byebye 😁

[foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland]

ok bc im fucking exhausted tho and havent slept for ages im gonna take advantage of this. and like. i mean. i dont write so idk how helpful this would b 4 me. but. i think itd b cool 2 know this nonetheless in the future. so. what it feels like 2 go 30 hrs w no sleep. errrr. well. after about 24 hours i was like. tired as FUCK. i felt physically sick and like. not good. and i was so exhausted and not even in a sleepy way but just in a way it felt like everything was just giving up on me. time also felt like. it was going wrong. an hour would feel like a minute or 5 minutes would feel like fucking forever. i felt rllyyyyy heavy and just generally disorientated. anddd now im 30 hours in. and im less like that. dunno if its bc i concentrated on playin stardew valley or bc i had a meal. but now its just. i feel sorta. spiky on the inside. my eyes feel sharp and both wide and like. closed. at the same time. my balance is realllyyyy off but when i walk it feels less like im a million pounds heavy and goin all over the place. it feels more like. cant feel shit. and i didnt even feel like my balance was off til i almost dropped my plate i was carrying. my body feels sorta like its split into pieces n stuff. anddd my brain is like. im not rlly thinking clearly its more like. i mean normally when i think and im thinking clearly its like theres this big gushing river ending in a little waterfall. and i have a bucket. and its like the water is all my thoughts and the bucket is me articulating them properly. and sometimes i have a rllyyyy big bucket n i catch mostttt the water and sometimes my buckte is tiny. but its essentially the same. when im usually tired its like. er. i forgot. idk. but rn its like. the water is no longer my thoughts the waters just my brain. and im not at the end of the waterfall im to the side of the river. and theres tiny little like. idk floating things. sayyyy petals or smth. all going down the river. and the petals r my thoughts. and im standing at the end of the river fishing out some of these petals at random. and like. putting them beside me. but i feel veryyyy distant from the river. im not in the waterfall and getting soaked and surrounded by water. im off 2 the side and my hands r barely even gettin wet. so. yea thats  what thinking feels like rn. and my feelings r. um. difficult to pinpoint. one i knew for sure i had earlier was guilt. bc of smth my mum said. but now i feel like. Not. Real. yknow. likeee. like im living in a memory rn rather than actual stuff. and er yea. also theres this biggg weight in my chest. its veryyy heavy. and its making breathing a bit of a chore. but yea. thats how being tired after 30 hours of no sleep is. like. er. yeah. ok. bye love u

[leafy--bab]

( posting my drafts :3 )

Icarus, a strange name to give a child. Implies one day he'll fly too high, get too close, and fall. No parent in their right mind enjoys seeing their child fall. So why promise it with a name? But then again a name is just a name and Icarus knew that. He knew that when he veered too close to the heater and burned himself. He knew that when he strode too close to the edge of a hill and tumbled down. He even knew that as today he finely placed his scar riddled hand too close to the thing in the corner. There’s always been something just on the edge of his vision that he could never catch. It lingered in the far reaches of his periphery, shying away from his gaze. He'd always wondered what it was.

He could still remember vividly the first time he saw just a glimpse of it. It was a cold afternoon, 3'o clock specifically. He was in his room as per usual at this time in his life he was about 5. Icarus sat in the center of his bland room holding beary, a pinkish rabbit stuffie with blue beady eyes. He loved beary, he took him everywhere. Icarus rubbed beary's paw on his face. It was soft and calmed him down. He stood up useing his bed as support. " maybe mammie unlocked the door now" he thought. He walked up to the door, it towered above him. Icarus was small, even for his age. All the other kids when they actually stood next him were much taller than him. " He's just little Mrs. Falsus, He'll get bigger no need to freat" the docter would say to Icarus's mother. Icarus, in that moment, reaching for the doorknob with all his might, wished he would grow right then. His little hand latched on to the doorknob, still locked. Icarus knew why his mother sometimes locked him in his room. She'd need to clean the house and it was easier if he was out of the way. He crawled up on to his bed, when suddenly he realized beary was no longer in his arms. Instead of being below him where he would of logically dropped him, beary now sat in front of his cracked closet. Strange but not scary. He scooted off his bed and dropped to the floor. He didn't walk fast or slow, Icarus at the time thought nothing of it. His rabbit moving places was normal to him. He was a very forgetful kid after all. His mother would also move beary sometimes. So this? His rabbit being in front of the closet suddenly? That was nothing to be afraid of. What scared him, to the point of screaming and slamming his fists on his door till mammie ran to get him, was the hunched over figure sitting in his closet.

From then on Icarus kept his toy box in front of the closet. But even then itd get out. Icarus was never without that thing. With it and how mammie was he grew up nervous and quiet. He only spoke when spoken to, just like mammie taught him. In class he never raised his hand, he preferred to just take notes. Once Icarus was in middle school the sightings of the figure were more common. With the rise in sightings of the figure came a desperation for friendship. Icarus moved his toy box to the basement and kept only the most important toys in his room. Beary sat on his bed while the others were in a tub under his bed. Icarus, just home from school, went up to his bedroom. No matter the day nor the occasion he was required to be in his room till dinner. So that's were he stayed. He sat on his bed for a bit, watching from the corner of his eye the figure pace in his closet. Icarus grabbed beary and sat in front of his closet. " you've been here so long, why?" Icarus asked. The pacing stopped, a deep voice slithered out of the figure " I have been waiting". Its voice startled Icarus, not because of how unnerving it was, no, it was the fact he recognized it. He recognized not from this time but from another. " what are you waiting for?" He began rubbing beary's paw on his face. It spoke in a hushed voice " For you, but not you as you are now. I've been waiting for a you from long ago, from a time that is no longer here."

( I might actually continue this!! Ahhh I can't wait to start writing again!! This was from so long ago I was way to nervous to actually post it)

There’s always been something just on the edge of his vision that he could never catch. It lingered in the far reaches of his periphery, shying away from his gaze.

[vaguely-yandere]

IDEA

a darling who’s very, very aware of what’s going on and uses it to their advantage.

“hmmmmmmmmm someone who’s willing to literally sell all they own, fight god and satan at the same time, and commit various acts of treason just for me to smile in their general direction’s in love with me????”

“i can definitely use this.”

-poised darling

honestly, me as a darling. call me toxic but i love the idea of someone willing to do literally anything for me!! i need that in this economy!

i think itd be quite fun too. maybe having a yandere as a roommate!

like with girly yan, sensitive, housewife, cannibal, etc, you see how they look at you. you see how their eyes follow you. youve found your clothes in their room multiple times, you can sometimes hear them whimpering in their room at night with quiet little moans of your name, and lets be honest here, youre kind of a snoop by nature! so when theyre out of the house (which is quite frequent), you take a look through their room and find their journals. journals, thick ones at that, coated front to back in scribbles and the occasional coherent sentence of what they want to do to you or what they want you to do to them. a few others thatre labelled, covering everything youve done everyday for the past few years, even before you knew them. wedding vows, scrapbooks, books filled with pages of just your name, its some insane bullshit and the dots finally connect and youve got bills to pay and love attention! why not have some fun with this?

so, you start wearing more comfortable clothes around the house. maybe just a big shirt and underwear. maybe just some sweatpants (and a bra if you wear those). you wear skin tight clothes or even just underwear when you workout in the living room, grunting freely and hiding your smile when you hear your cute little yandere whine when they first see you. you start inviting them to little movie nights where you cuddle right up, pressed right against them. if youre both the same gender, you leave your door open when you undress because "c'mon, its just us here!" you 'accidentally' take their clothes, wearing them around the house just for them to see and if you finally make a move on them? they wont be able to hold themselves together for longer than a minute

as for the others, like rival, big bad, stoic, etc(CEO yan would never have a roommate), i think your teasing would have to be a bit more hands on. purposely pressing against them a little bit when you scootch past them, always finding a way to touch them when you two are sitting together, complimenting them constantly, posting provocative things on your social media and if you bring someone over and loudly have sex in your room??? you might actually break them

(but you know they would just spend the night with their face stuffed into their pillow, shoving their fingers inside of themselves, feeling their insides twitch every time you moan, just wishing and hoping one day theyd be the ones fucking you. they lie to themselves and say its just a coincidence, that its normal to get turned on when you hear someone fucking in the other room, they arent masturbating to the thought of you but deep down, they know and they shame themselves for being so messed up. for being so obsessed with you but that doesnt stop their eyes rolling back when you moan the vague syllables of their name as you cum, doesnt stop them from spending the rest of their night humping their pillow with your clothes shoved in their mouth to keep themselves from moaning too loud, doesnt stop them from clawing at their sheets, wishing they could go into your room and really please you and it certainly doesnt stop them from cleaning themselves up and waiting in the living room so they can see who the fuck dared to try and take what was theirs)

and to seal the final nail in the coffin, you spend breakfast upset. moving away from your one night stand who is overstaying their welcome. acting cold towards them. giving your roommate 'help me/im so fuckin annoyed' glances so they help you out and kick them out and you spend the rest of the morning complaining about how they werent good enough and you were only acting it up because they seemed like they needed a win.

that is one sure fire away to make them put you up on the counter and eat you out until youre moaning out for real <3

[that-sarcastic-writer]

That's my girl- Arthur Morgan

Fandom: Red dead redemption 2

Pairing: Arthur Morgan x F!Reader

Summary: sometimes Micah Bell deserves to be punched in the face, so you do just that

Warnings: cursing, some inappropriate remarks from Micah, reader being a badass, Arthur being a protective boy

WC: 2.6k

A/N: so i know this will probably be such a flop, but since im doing a replay of red dead i just fell in love with arthur all over again. so yay im writing for him for a bit. this one was kinda based on how much i wanted to punch micah the entire time. so here it is. Also I call reader miss jones, since in this game people are called by their last name a lot I felt itd be more fitting to come up with one rather than use L/N which I dont really like. I'll probably use that last name if I do more oneshots. Other than that, reader still remains neutral with no further specifications.

Most days you loved the life you chose, the decision you made after the Van Der Linde gang found you all alone, scared and with nowhere to go was probably the best of your life. The day you chose to stay with them was the day you found a family. Sure it was tough, the constant running away, going from camp to camp, the killing, the robbing, sometimes both and to innocent folk. But you had people that cared about you, loved you and protected you. And then you had the love of your life. The man that saved you when you first met, the man that took care of you and taught you all you had to learn about this life. Arthur Morgan was the reason you didn't just break down when some bad people killed your parents. It was Arthur that took care of you, helped you grieve— in his own way. If it weren't for him you probably would still be the same scared girl you were 5 years ago. Now? Well, now you were as mean and as tough as Mrs. Sadie Adler. And it was all thanks to Arthur.

You still remember the day he taught you to ride a horse. He knew you were terrified, you could barely even touch the poor animal without jumping 5 feet away right after. It was Arthur that assured you the animal meant no harm to you, that you could ride it for miles and it wouldn't buck you. He was right when he said you'd fall in love with it once you no longer feared it.

Teaching you how to shoot was probably the hardest thing he's ever had to do. He thought no one could have such a shitty aim. The bullet wouldn't even fly close to the bottle. Poor soul couldn't hold the goddamn gun properly. That day was the first time you were in his arms as he guided you through it, it was the first time you felt safe in someone's arms, especially after what you went through. And it was in his arms.

But what sealed it for you was that of your first kill, the very first time someone died by your hand, at the barrel of your gun. When people say the first kill is always the hardest, they're not exaggerating. The nightmares lasted for days, every night you saw the face of that man, the sheer terror in his eyes at the sight of your gun pointed at his face and his lifeless eyes staring back at you. It haunted you. And Arthur was there for you, to hold you in his arms until your breathing went back to normal and your body stopped shaking, every single time. "He was a bad man, he deserved it. You didn't do nothin' wrong" he'd say. And you believed him.

Eventually it got easier, the nightmares were less, it didn't wake you in a sweat anymore. But when it did, Arthur was always there to calm you down, to make you feel safe, loved.

He might've been a bad man, but he was a bad man that made you feel safe and loved, and you'd do anything for him.

But some days, just some days, fuck did you wish you weren't his wife. You wished that maybe you hadn't done the dumb thing John Marston and Abigail did, get married. I mean who in their right state of mind marries an outlaw? A wanted man. But then again you weren't exactly sane and neither was he. Unfortunately your insanity meant that all tasks the other girls would do for him, the laundry, the cleaning, the things you despised doing were now your responsibility. At least when it came to him. Of course you couldn't have another woman do your man's laundry. So as much as you would very much rather be out and about town with Arthur, Miss Grimshaw had given you an earful about not doing your tasks, and that you would not step foot outside of camp until you finished them. And god forbid you don't do as she says, you cared too much about your wellbeing to do that.

God you despised doing laundry. If there was something you hated most out of any task it just had to be laundry. Especially Arthur's. Because that man would get his clothes dirty. Mud, dirt, liquor, sometimes shit and most times blood could be found in his shirts and vests. And you hated having to wash off blood the most, it would take a lot of scrubbing to get that damn blood off. You might as well be shooting something with the amount of effort it took to scrub his clothes clean. And yet here you were.

"Ugh, goddamn you Arthur Morgan. Every single time." You groaned loudly, harshly scrubbing a particularly stubborn bloodstain on his, of fucking course— white dress shirt. You were sitting by the river you were lucky enough to camp by, Karen, Tilly and Mary-Beth sitting around you doing their own tasks, occasionally bringing their attention to your senseless cursing.

"You're such a lovely wife, cursin' at your husband while furiously washin' his clothes." Karen teased, poking fun at what was always such a predicament. You lifted your gaze from the damp dress shirt, blowing out a breath to get some wild hairs that escaped your tight fishtail away from your face and you glared at the blonde, scoffing loudly.

"He could wash his own damn clothes, but nah Miss Grimshaw wants me to do it. But you don't see her naggin' and yellin' at Sadie to wash clothes." You scoffed, rolling your eyes and rinsing off the shirt as the group of girls giggled at your complaints.

"Yeah well, Sadie ain't married, you are." Mary-Beth pointed out with a hushed tone, knowing that it was a sore subject for Sadie, you looked at her knowing she was right, damn well knowing you were lucky to have the man you loved with you, tasks and all and you sighed heavily, carefully looking over the white fabric and you smiled triumphantly when you saw the stain was no longer there.

"Right, we're married now so I'm stuck here washin' his clothes while he goes into town. Marriage can be one hell of a thing." You laughed, joking about how you hated domesticity and shook your head, standing up to place the soaked fabric over the line of rope tied to some trees where you usually left your clothes to dry.

What you didn't notice was a certain presence behind you, one that you usually avoided at all times, especially when Arthur wasn't around, but this time you didn't have enough time to walk away.

"My, my, is this little Miss Jones I see washin' clothes? This must be my lucky day then, mind doin' mine as well?" You heard a mocking laugh behind you and a voice you unfortunately knew too well, one that you despised to say the least. You had to suppress a groan of disgust and the urge to grab your gun from the holster that was always on your hips.

"For the last goddamn time, it's Mrs. Morgan now. I'm busy washin' my husband's clothes, so please just get lost Mr. Bell. Go annoy somebody else." You muttered, not bothering to turn around to face the man as you simply continued to arrange the clothes you wanted to dry. You heard a scoff behind you, but not footsteps.

"Oh husband huh? I still don't understand what you saw in him. Why marry a dumbass like Morgan when there's better men out there." He even sounded proud when saying those words. You couldn't help but burst out laughing and you actually turned around to face Micah, but only to laugh in his face.

"Better men? Better than Arthur? Mr. Bell please, find yourself something useful to do instead of talkin' nonsense, will ya? Get lost." You repeated, waving him off before turning around again, hoping that was the end of that. Oh boy it wasn't.

"I just can't comprehend how such a pretty lil' thing like yourself could open her legs to an idiot like Morgan and—" Your head snapped faster than it ever had as those words left his mouth, you've never felt your blood boil this much. You didn't even have to think about it, your fist flew by itself and you punched him so hard you knocked him off his stance. And when he regained his composure there was already a red angry mark, one that would quickly turn into a purple bruise.

"Watch your fuckin' mouth." You were fuming, boiling with rage even, you didn't even care that you caught the attention of the whole camp by then, hell you were so angry you didn't even see Arthur get off his horse and start to near the scene.

"No, you watch yourself before I—"

"Before you what, Micah?" Arthur's voice was loud and low like a growl, but it boomed through the trees as in a matter of seconds he hurried himself over to the scene with heavy steps, "you got exactly five seconds to get the hell away from my wife before I get over there and break your damn neck myself."

You were quickly met with Arthur's hard chest and broad shoulders, one of his hands instantly coming to grab your arm, as if to hold you back in case you wanted to jump at Micah yourself. You kept your stance though, back straight, head high and fuming.

With the sight of both you and Arthur ready to shoot the scowl off his face, Micah slightly backed up and scoffed, glaring at Arthur.

"This is none of your business, cowpoke. This is between your lil' wife and I.'' Micah seethed, spitting right by Arthur's feet before his eyes landed on you again, "watch yourself Miss Jones, Morgan ain't always gonna be here to watch that lil' ass of yours and you can't sleep your way through every problem."

Now you had to hold Arthur back. When you looked back at the blonde. You were sure he was actually about to rip Micah's spine out with his bare hands. Before Arthur could step around you, you got right in his way and placed both palms flat on his chest, slightly pushing him back, trying to plant yourself between him and Micah. Arthur was absolutely fuming and he was on fire, staring at Micah like he wanted to unload his pistol on his face, snap his neck and break his spine all at once.

"Arthur." You said loud and sternly, your eyes big as his blue ones looked down at you, the storm in them seizing for a second. When you felt his body no longer push against yours, you slightly turned to look at Micah, but never moved your hand from Arthur's chest in fear he'd charge at Micah. "C'mon." You muttered to your husband, crunching his shirt into your hand to drag him away so he could calm down. But Micah just wasn't backing down quite yet.

"Yeah, listen to your missus, Arthur. She's already more of a man that you are, with those clothes and her lil' guns, she might as well tell you what to do." Micah laughed mockingly slowly backing away as if provoking a bull he knew would charge at him sooner or later.

"Shut your goddamn mouth before I unload a round in it." Arthur snarled, his face bright red and jaw tight, having to hold himself back since you were practically clinging to him. "I won't tell ya again, Micah, get the hell away from my wife. I don't wanna see you breathe the same air as her or I swear to god I'll do more than just give you a black eye."

"I'm right here, old man, I dare you to try." Micah mocked, doing a little motion with his hands and a shit eating smirk wide on his face. You had to plant your feet dead on the grass and your hand flat against Arthur's chest to stop him from charging at Micah.

"That's enough goddamnit!" You snapped loudly, your head whipping around to glare at both men, "Micah, just fuck off. Leave us be before I forget I'm supposed to be a lady." You warned him, one of your hands instinctively falling to the revolver sitting in your holster. You weren't actually going to use it, you would love to, but it was against your code to kill one of your own, no matter how much you hated him.

Still, this was enough to make Micah finally back down, not willing to put up with two angry outlaws with a short temperament and hella good aim. Not today. He muttered a "calm down" and waved his hands around in a form of surrender before he was digging through the dirt with his angry footsteps and leaving a string of curses in his wake.

Once Micah was far enough, your whole demeanor changed, your body loosened and your shoulders relaxed, allowing yourself to be comfortable in your husband's arms. It would take him a lot more than just that to calm down though. Seeing as his chest was still rising and falling, his nostrils flaring and jaw was tight, you knew he was fuming still. You sighed heavily, placing a chaste kiss on his chapped lips before dragging him away by his vest.

"C'mon you." You muttered, not stopping until you were far away from the sight and earshot of the camp, a spot down the river where you usually went to be alone, with Arthur or otherwise. "Arthur."

"Hmph. You shoulda let me snap his goddamn neck." He huffed angrily, his words coming out with a growl. You sighed heavily, placing both hands on his face.

"Arthur no. Trust me I wanna kill Micah Bell as much as you do. That bastard is insufferable, I know that. But it's not worth it, alright?" You pressed a kiss to his cheek, not really caring if you could smell the scent of cheap cigarettes or liquor still on his skin. You felt him slightly loosen, slowly releasing the tension that built up in his broad shoulders.

"I guess that was a pretty good punch. You got him good, sweetheart." He chuckled quietly, smiling proudly at the idea that his girl, no— his wife punched another man like it didn't even phase her. And that he taught her that.

"Yeah? I mean I would much rather cut off his balls with my knife, but I guess a good punch and a good bruise is as good as any." You giggled, Arthur catching one of your hands with his lips, coincidentally the same one you had used to punch Micah.

"Hehe, that's my girl." He was now full on smirking proudly, head high and chest puffed with pride. You couldn't help but giggle as he placed feathery kisses over your red soon-to-be purple knuckles.

"I'm your wife, honey. Your wife." You reminded him, your words coming out with a happy hum, your stomach turning every time you said you were his wife. Arthur hummed in agreement, catching your lips into a soft kiss.

"My wife." He repeated with a wholehearted laugh and a heart warming smile, one of those that were very rare to witness from him. He was a tough, sour and emotionless man, there was no doubt in that, but when he was with you he just seemed to forget about all of that and he tried to be happy, to make you happy. "God I love saying that. I'll never get tired of hearin' it."

You giggled, your eyes bright as you looked up at his beautiful blue eyes, seeing them light up in the same way yours did and you caught his lips into another kiss, this time slightly deeper and more passionate.

"I'll say it all you want then."

[t8oo]

idk how to communicate with twitter but I do want to talk about luzeni because it is tearing my brain apart from the inside out. like that one scene?? with Ami??? god it's so cute, Lupin is totally on board with it, and Zenigata is way more flustered than a guy should be if there aren't feelings involved. UGH seriously I can just imagine a fic where her comment is the catalyst for the two of them having an actual conversation about what the hell their relationship is. the longer they talk, the more flirty Lupin gets, and Zenigata keeps asking him to "be serious for a moment" but then Lupin turns it around and gets downright sultry because Zenigata is the one who isn't taking his advances seriously, and he really wishes his dear detective could figure this out already.

or like, the size difference... Zenigata being tall with his broad shoulders, and Lupin is so narrow... the ratio of Zenigata's hands to Lupin's waist... Lupin is such a tease hoping that Zenigata will break down and do something already, and Zenigata does want to just scoop him up in his arms and kiss him, but he figures he'd never live it down if Lupin knew how tempting he actually is. Zenigata blushes super easily though, so he always gives himself away. Lupin gets his thumbs in Zenigata's belt loops and drags him in close, whispers something in his ear before kissing behind it, and the man practically combusts. he's a big guy, sure, but Lupin has him wrapped around his finger, and that really feeds his ego. it's always when Lupin moves first that they end up kissing each other senseless in secret, giving in for just a moment before Lupin convinces himself that Zenigata will catch him if he stays any longer, or Zenigata convinces himself that Lupin's mouth is just a distraction from whatever theft he's planning. neither of them really has to worry about that, they're both too smitten, and maybe it'd be worth it to risk those things for just a few more minutes anyway, because it feels that good to stay glued to each other for a little bit longer.

they're so cute, they're such a good ship, I love them so much.

THE AMI SCENE

SHES GOT THEM MORE FIGURED OUT THAN THEY DO !!!!!! I think itd be cute if Lupin leans into Zenigatas space but zenigatas like WHATEVER YOU DO MAN. DONT DO IT. THERES SOMEONE RIGHT THERE. And Lupin just rests his head on zenis shoulder and zeni goes oh....😳

As for the hand to waist ratio.....oh my god that is such a thought. oh my god.....jesus.........thats a really good thought right there.......All of this is really good but you know what I like ? The idea that Zeni has Lupin all wrapped around his finger as well just like Fujiko...he just doesnt know the power of his titties. I like that within the tenderness of them making out in secret lies the worry that this might be manipulation on the others part it makes it really sexy lol....these two men need to seriously talk but it would break whatever the hell they have going on and its more precious to them than life

YES RTHEY ARE SUCH A GOOD SHIP I LOVE THEM SOOOOSOSOSOOSOSOSOSOSO MUCH THANK YOU for sending this ask

[jojoboisimagines]

Snippets Ch.4 : Johnny and Josuke (4) with the Same Crush (3)

Previous Chapter

A set of multiple drabbles/oneshots combining characters (i.e Jojos) from multiple parts and AUs.

.::.

"That guy...do you think--" Josuke started.

"That's their boyfriend? No idea." Johnny quickly answered, trying to play it off as if he didn't care.

It was quite the opposite. He may have cared too much.

To say Johnny was jealous was an understatement. But it seemed like Josuke was feeling some of the heat too, seeing you hanging out with some guy and proceeding to talk about him with Josuke when the two of you went to lunch the other day.

Josuke was still in the dark about Johnny’s own crush on you, which was a relief for the jockey, but it was hell for him, having to be afraid of either guy winning you over first.

He just needed to muster up the courage to talk to you again, but it was a lot more difficult than he thought it’d be. You two always seemed to be busy when the other wasn’t. Of course he still had Gyro (and occasionally Josuke and Hot Pants) to keep him company, but he missed you.

The little spat the cousins had was forgotten for a while. They didn’t exactly apologize to each other, but just starting to talk normally again was enough sign there was no hard feelings. The younger teen was still very confused about Johnny’s intentions that day.

‘ Was he trying to be a good role model or was he just mad I was leaving him at home?’ he thought. It didn’t really matter to him anymore, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t concerned about what Johnny must’ve been thinking, and if he still did feel that way.

They sat at a small table on the far side of the kitchen. Josuke, looking rather bored, held his head on his palm, while Johnny was playing on their shared Switch. Or at least, was pretending to be after Josuke brought up the subject.

“Hey, can I ask you an honest question?” The Japanese teen breaks the icy silence once again.

Johnny merely raises an eyebrow with a low ‘hm’ that was barely audible. His heart silently raced thinking of what the boy sitting across from him had on his mind to ask.

“(y/n)...how long have you known them?” 

A simple enough question to start off with, Josuke thought. Yet Johnny’s lips still pursed.

“Uh...about half a year now. We got really close in that time I’d say.” That last part wasn’t even to get a rise out of Josuke, he just genuinely thought so. He really cared about you, romantically or not.

Meanwhile, Josuke had only known you for the duration of the summer, which was about to end in a couple of weeks. Perhaps if he’d beg Johnny to let him stay he’d have more time to bond with you, but there was also the issue of him feeling homesick from time to time.

God, if he could take you back to Morioh with him..it’d be like a dream come true.

They both had quickly forgotten about whatever guy Josuke was referring to earlier, mixed up in their own thoughts about their relationship with you. Besides, he had only ever seen the guy once, there was no way you’d switch up on him that quickly.

He had no dates or anything planned with you like he usually does, though. Not that he didn’t want to spend time with you, he just felt as if he was coming off as a little...clingy.

Higashikata had been trying to drop hints that he liked you, such as buying you things, having heart-to-heart conversations as he’d walk you home, calling you pet names, and ending his goodnight texts with a little heart emoji. He considered himself a romantic, but when it came to your reactions, you kinda brushed them off platonically. Perhaps you’d never been flirted with before?

His texts were still frequent, making sure you were having a good day and all, but he figured maybe he should start being a little more risky..

“What do you like about (y/n) anyways?” Johnny asked.

There was a pause for a couple of seconds, before Josuke scooted back in his chair and got up from the table, intending to retreat to his room for a couple of hours.

“The same things you do, probably.”

.::.

“Ow! Gyro, what the hell was that for?!”

“Because, idiota, you need to confess already.” He hovers over Johnny like a judgmental parent.

Josuke had left the house to get some groceries, and in that time, the jockey called Gyro over. Not for advice specifically, but that's what it had eventually turned into. Sitting on the floor of Johnny’s room (where it was painfully easy to find porn magazines, Gyro won’t let that go as long as the two of them live).

“Like seriously, this is getting embarrassing to watch, just do it already.” The Italian pointed a finger at his friend. “Sooner or later you’re gonna do the thing where you get the girl drunk and then sleep with her regardless of feelings.”

“Ugh, I’m not like that anymore Gyro!” Johnny folds his arms with a pout his friend knows all too well at this point. “I’ve never committed to anyone before, so of course this is a little more awkward for me than it is for anyone else, you know this!” 

Indeed he did know. It was somehow one of the things they always ended up talking about.

“Listen, I know how this is gonna end. Its gonna end with you in this same room, bunched up in several blankets, listening to Fleetwood Mac on repeat with 3 pizza boxes to make yourself feel better.”

The American scoffs.

Gyro sits upright on his bed. “I’m right. Look, this gal means a lot to you, I know. I’ve seen it. You’ve never stared at someone with such a…not hateful look in your eye.” It was half a joke, half truth. “And I don't wanna see you sad, so you’re just gonna have to pull yourself up, grow some steel balls, and ask them out. For real. For both of our sakes at this point.”

Johnny rolls his eyes. “Wow, Gyro wants me to be with a girl? Pigs must be flying.”

“You are so not funny.” The Italian’s teeth flashes for a moment as he scowls.

“Alright, since you’re such a casanova, why don’t you tell me what to say to them?” At this rate, there was really no other choice for Joestar to take. He could ask Hot Pants, but knew she would give him similar advice.

“Nyo-ho! I’ll show ya! All you gotta do is gimme your phone.”

As soon as the word ‘gimme’ was uttered, the jockey clutched his phone as if it was a baby. The last few times he lended his friend his phone, it didn’t go so well.

Gyro would’ve snorted if he wasn’t serious about this.

“Come onnn! It--”

“Won’t go like the last three times, right? Fat chance.”

“Just hurry and hand it over before I tackle you!”

The larger man did that far too much already, much to Johnny’s dismay. Once Gyro had him in a headlock, there was no getting out of it. He defeatedly raised his phone up to the man for him to take.

“If you ruin anything, I’m doing the same thing to you, AND taking your damn horse.” The Italian waved him off as if he was merely an angry toddler. As he typed, Johnny tried to peer over and see, but his friend was too adamant on turning side to side so he couldn’t. The expressions Gyro was making wasn’t a good sign either. First confused, then mischievous, then looking a little too proud of himself. The jockey’s hands could start sweating at any moment from the sheer anxiety this was giving him.

“Aaaaaand done! There we go, all set!”

Johnny reached for his phone as soon as the words left his mouth, unapologetically in a snatching manner to immediately read the text sent.

::‘Hey This is Johnny darling. Hope your day has been as beautiful as your smile. I was wondering if you’re free tomorrow by 12pm. I have something very important to tell you. See you soon xoxo.’::

Alright, so it wasn’t as bad as he thought itd be (not nearly as bad as the time Gyro dared him to send a ‘send nudes’ text to you) but god, it would look suspiciously out of character for you to see. He can’t even remember the last time he typed ‘darling’ instead of ‘darlin’ and actually bothered to punctuate his texts. And who even used ‘xoxo’ anymore?

His friend looked at him with a big grin, waiting for his reaction. A slightly more pure smile than if he were waiting for Johnny to get a joke.

“Soooo what do you think? You gotta pick some nice clothes out for your date.”

The shorter man sighs.

“Its...passable.”

.::.

 Josuke got home a little later than he expected. He was surprised to see there was still Prince CDs in stock at the store. Thats one of the perks of coming to America, he guessed. He was more than ready to put them into one of Johnny’s old CD players he had found. It was already hard for him to listen to pretty much anything without thinking of you. At least if it was Prince specifically, it would help him feel better and he could jam out to it.

Finally finding the track he wanted, he grinned, letting the music play out loud and hopping on his bed. It was a good few minutes before he had started getting that feeling in his gut again.

..Crap, this wasn’t helping either.

The teen felt that he couldn’t endure this much longer. Love was something he took very seriously and to be so unsure about your relationship just made him feel funny. He had to at least know for sure if the both of you were on the same page. Josuke was sick of being so anxious about it.

Josuke laid down flat on his back, pulling his phone out.

“You know what? I’m gonna ask them out.”

[coffee-imagines]

Red

part two 

Pairing: Ron x fem!reader/gryffindor!reader

Requested: Can you do something with polyjuice potion where Ron’s girlfriend doesn’t want to be with him anymore so she convinces reader to be with him for a few more days and act distant before breaking up with him instead of herself? I dont know if that makes sense but if you could write something along those lines itd be great

Warnings: none?

A/N: Okay I love Draco but I should probably give the poor boy a break so here’s someone I haven’t written for in a long time, and this is way longer than I expected it to be so oops

Summary: Lavender finally has enough of Ron and asks for your help

———————————–

You were sound asleep in your dorm when Lavender had barged in. Sure it had also been her room, but her landing on your bed shook you awake. With a groan you shoved your face further into your pillow, only to have her shake you. Your relationship with Lavender was a weird one. The both of you had been friends ever since your first year, but this year put a strain on your friendship because of her relationship with Ron. She knew you liked him well before she ever showed interest in him, and when they got together you hadn’t taken it well. 

“Wake up.” Lavender demanded and you just gave her a grunt. “I’ll get the water.” She warned, making a move to get off the bed but your hand shot out to grab her. 

“I’m awake.” You grumbled and glared at her. If there was one thing you absolutely hated, it was being woken up earlier than needed. 

When you sat up you were completely floored at everything Lavender started throwing at you. With you being half awake you were only catching bits and pieces. Poly juice potion, Ron, breaking up with Ron, you breaking up with Ron… Ron?

“Slow down.” You covered her mouth with your hand. “I am not awake enough for this.” You rubbed your eyes and sighed. “You want me to pretend to be you… and then break up with your boyfriend?” You scrunched your eyebrows in confusion. 

“Yes exactly! Thank you! I’ll bring you the potion when it’s finally brewed.” She explained excitedly and gave you a hug before leaving. You stared at the door dumbfounded before letting yourself fall back into your comfortable mattress with a groan. You had no idea how you were supposed to do this. 

You pushed the thought to the back of your head, hoping that by the time the potion was done she’d just do it herself. You sluggishly put your things in your bag and made your way to the Great hall. With a sleepy smile you made your way over to Ron, Hermione, and Harry before plopping down between the boys. 

“You look tired.” Harry immediately said, making you shoot him a glare.

“This one’s girlfriend woke me up too early.” You explained, pointing to Ron with your thumb. 

“Oh she’s not too bad.” Ron explained, wrapping his arm around your shoulder before pulling you closer. “You’re more than welcome to sleep on me since it’s technically my fault.” He joked making you relax into him. 

“That’s very tempting.” You mumbled before sitting back up. “But I need food.” You explained, making a grab for Ron’s plate. 

“Get your own.” Ron warned, holding your wrist in his hand. 

“You stingy little-” You grumbled while you stood up. 

“Play nice you two.” Hermione cut in making you sigh. 

“See you later Red.” You smiled and rustled Ron’s hair before walking out of the Great Hall and back to your room.

You’d completely forgotten the fact that you were hungry, crawling back into your bed before letting yourself fall asleep again. Ron never failed to amaze you. You thought about what Lavender had said for the time you’d curled into your covers. Thinking about how it would be to date Ron. You wished it would’ve been you instead of her that got to ask Ron out first. There was no way you’d ever forget the hurt you’d felt when she broke the news to you. You still occasionally questioned your friendship with her because of it. She knew how you’d felt, and still do, and she only got with him to prove a point, there had been no doubt in your mind about it. 

“Red wait up!” You called after Ron on your way to class. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder when you walked up, and before you could speak again he was rustling your hair. 

“That’s for yesterday.” He explained making you laugh. 

“Just keep walking to class you red headed twit.” You teased, elbowing his ribs. 

“I’m so hurt.” Ron mocked sadness, holding his hand over his heart. “Come on.” He said, holding the door open for you. 

The potion finished brewing faster than you expected, and it finally made you realize that Lavender had been sitting on this idea for longer than you had originally thought. You were standing behind her, watching over her shoulder while she added her hair to it before giving it a final mix. 

“And done.” Lavender smiled at you once she capped the bottle. 

“This is crazy.” You groaned while you watched her. 

“You like him, he likes you. Nothing crazy about it.” She smiled, making you scowl at her. 

“He doesn’t like me. He’s dating you.” You seethed making her sigh. 

“It’s obvious he likes you too. That’s why you need to do this.” She explained. 

“But he’s gonna think it’s you.” You explained and she rolled her eyes. 

“He’s supposed to.” Lavender patted your head. “I just can’t take it anymore. Make it gradual. You have three days worth.” She smiled and wagged the potion in front of your face. 

“Yeah yeah.” You grumbled, grabbing it from her. “Three days.” You muttered to yourself, watching the liquid slosh back and forth. 

It had been two more days before you decided to do anything. Got the courage more than decided, but you hadn’t known what to do. You figured you’d give him an awful date for the next three days, and break it off. You explained the plan to Lavender and she nodded with a smile, deciding she’d stay in your dorm to not create any confusion. You drank enough to give you a few hours and shook your shaking hands as you walked into the Great Hall, making a B line for the red head. You covered his eyes with your hands before trying to muster up the most Lavender voice you could. 

“Guess who Won won.” You cooed and almost threw up in your mouth at the nickname. 

“Lavender.” Ron smiled up at you and you had to stop yourself from flinching. 

“Come.” You stated, pulling him up from his seat to go out. “Hurry up.” You explained when he lagged behind, tugging him to move faster. You wanted nothing more than savor him holding your hand, but Lavender had made it clear that you needed to make the break up believable, and that meant everything needed to be rushed. Letting go of his hand you sat on the grass. 

“What’s all this about?” He asked, earning a shrug from you. 

“A date obviously.” You gave a half hearted smile. 

Your heart began racing when he scoot closer. You hadn’t thought this far ahead. You hadn’t even talked to Lavender about what you’d do if he wanted a kiss. Maybe you should turn away? Start the distancing already? It was too late when you felt him cup your cheek. You were breathing heavily, staring at his lips before meeting his eyes with yours once again. His nose brushed against yours and your eyes fluttered closed on instinct. His breath was fanning your face, and before his lips met yours, he kissed your nose instead before pulling away. You let out a breath and open your eyes staring up at him in shock. 

“How was your day?” He asked, making you just stare. “Well?” He asked, the smile on his face growing. 

“Good, it was good.” You nodded, biting your bottom lip while you looked at his. If you didn’t think it’d be a bad idea you would’ve thrown yourself at him and kissed him, but you knew that would only complicate the plan. “Yours?” You asked, pulling your knees to your chest resting your chin on them while you watched him. 

“All good except for Defense against the dark arts.” He shrugged, making you bite the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from laughing.

“Why?” You almost snorted, already knowing the answer. 

“Well Y/N… she knocked me back during class in front of everybody.” He explained timidly and you couldn’t keep it in anymore. 

You shoved your face between your legs and started shaking as your laugh consumed you. It had happened by accident and you couldn’t get his face out of your head when he’d flown across the room. You’d been practicing how to properly wave your wand for Stupefy when you’d accidentally said it under your breath and it hit Ron straight in the chest. 

“Lavender. It’s not funny.” Ron muttered and you only laughed harder. You waved your hand out to him, and gasped for breath. 

“I’m sorry. I can’t.” You wheezed, standing up and kissing the top of his head. “I’ll see you tomorrow Re-Ron.” You explained and shook your head hoping he hadn’t caught your mistake. “I love you Won won.” You smiled and waved before hurrying back to the Gryffindor common room. 

You’d stayed in the restroom for a while, not wanting to pretend to be Lavender to other people. You’d be able to do it with Ron, but you hadn’t wanted to confuse things with other people involved. 

“How’d it go?” Lavender asked when you threw yourself on her bed, finally back to looking like yourself. 

“I had to cut it short.” You laughed, looking up at her. “So I accidentally hit him with Stupefy during class and he was talking to you about it and I just couldn’t.” You explained making her shake her head. 

“Well cutting it short will make it easier for him to believe the break up.” She explained, making you nod.

“We um...” You blushed making Lavender look at you skeptically. “Well he almost kissed me.” You explained making her laugh.

“Go for it.” She shoved you with a smile. “Now go get some sleep.” She explained almost pushing you off the edge.

The following day you felt butterflies in your stomach at the thought of hanging out with Ron. You had to pretend you hadn’t just gone on a date with him, and you couldn’t help but blush every time you looked at him. A part of you wished he would have kissed you yesterday, each time you saw him you could remember just how close he had gotten to your face. You knew it was because he thought you were Lavender, but that didn’t stop you from getting giddy at the thought.

“Hey Red. Any plans for today?” You asked, doing your best to wrap your arm around his shoulder.

“I was going to ask Lavender to hang out at Hogsmeade.” He explained making you stop walking.

“I have to go.” You explained and started running back to the common room despite Ron calling after you. “Lavender!” You called out when you got in and stopped one of the first years that had been walking by. “Have you seen Lavender?” You asked, and they only shook their head. You cursed to yourself and made your way into your room.

“Why are you calling me?” Lavender asked, looking at you through the mirror while she fixed her tie.

“Ron’s going to ask you to go to Hogsmeade with him.” You explained making her eyes go wide.

“Well you have to go for me.” She insisted, making you scowl. 

“I’m not allowed to go to Hogsmeade.” You explained making her roll her eyes.

“You’d go as me. They wouldn’t know the difference.” She explained and you sighed.

“I don’t like this idea.” You muttered, grabbing the bottle before drinking some.

“I’ll stay here, pretend to be you.” She smiled and laid down on your bed. “You sleep while we’re gone right?” She joked making you glare and walk over to her so you could pull the fabric from her hair before tying it onto your own head.

“You know you could have just done all this breaking up stuff yourself.” You muttered, looking in the mirror to make sure your clothes matched Lavender’s style enough.

“Oh now where’s the fun in that?” She asked, making you sigh.

The whole time you spent at Hogsmeade your eyes were just about popping out of your head. You’d always wondered if it were as fun as everyone had explained, and it was even better than you had expected. You were almost ignoring Ron the whole time, but you didn’t mind, knowing it was only helping your plan. That had been until you’d gone into the candy shop.

“I’m getting this for Y/N since she can’t come.” Ron explained, waving your favorite candy at you. You couldn’t help the smile on your face and you hugged him.

“That’s very sweet of you.” You mumbled into his chest.

“She’s your friend too you know.” He laughed, patting your back.

“Yeah...” You trailed, looking at all the candy in the display when you pulled away. “Come on, I think we’re leaving soon.” You explained, tugging him out of the store by his upper arm.

You let Ron have his arm around you the rest of the way back, and you couldn’t help but lean further into him. You’d completely forgotten to wear warmer clothes, and you were shivering slightly. When you both parted ways in the common room he kissed your nose which left a smile on your face. With a dreamy sigh you let yourself fall onto your now empty bed since Lavender had decided to go back to hers.

“He’s amazing.” You swooned, staring up at the ceiling. “I don’t know why you’re breaking up with him.” You laughed turning your head to look at Lavender. She was smiling at you and you furrowed your brows. “What?” You asked. 

“Nothing.” She smiled and shrugged. “You only have enough left for tomorrow.” She pointed out, looking at the almost empty bottle you had on the table next to your bed.

“How should I do it?” You asked, tossing her hairpiece back to her. “I mean… what do you want me to say?” You asked, earning a shrug from her.

“Just make it convincing.” She explained and you nodded.

You stared at the ceiling later that night contemplating all the different ways you could tell Ron you were, or rather Lavender was, breaking up with him. You knew there was enough to give you a few more hours, and you couldn’t let it go to waste. You were going to make sure to at least get a proper date that would make what you would say convincing. 

“Red.” You nudged him when you walked over to him in the Great Hall. “I have to talk to you.” You explained when he turned around.

“Hey Y/N, I got something for you.” He explained, ignoring your previous statement. “I know you don’t like missing Hogsmeade weekends, so I bought you this.” He continued, pulling the candy from his robes.

“That’s very sweet of you.” You smiled sadly at his hand before taking it. He gave you a questioning look before you shook your head. “Lavender wants to have a… date with you later.” You explained looking back up at his face.

“She can’t ask me herself?” He laughed making you bite your lip and shrug.

“I guess not.” You smiled, sitting next to him quietly. 

“You alright?” Ron asked when he saw you picking at your food. “Y/N.” Ron nudged you with his shoulder making you look up at him. “I asked if you’re alright.” He explained making you smile.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” You nodded. You couldn’t really tell him you upset that you would be breaking up with him even though it wasn’t technically going to be you. How would you have even begun to explain that?

Later that night you found yourself in a worse mood than you had been that morning. Lavender helped you get dressed, and you’d stayed quiet through the whole thing. She made sure you knew the plan and you were just giving her nods. You’d never dated anyone, and you didn’t know what if felt like to be broken up with, but you knew how your friends looked when it happened to them, and you couldn’t help but feel bad for being the reason Ron was going to be feeling that way soon.

You stayed quiet through most of the date. You were too nervous to come up with actual responses to questions he’d been asking you. Letting him hold your hand was all you’d given him, and by the time you’d gotten back to the common room you’d just let it out.

“I’m breaking up with you.” You blurted out making him stop what he was doing.

“Lavender I don’t understand.” Ron shook his head, his eyebrows knitted together while he looked down at you. “These past few days have been the best, what happened? What did I do?” He asked, making your eyes widen slightly. 

The best? You’d been horrible to the poor boy the past few days. Hadn’t you? Your chest ached at the thought of Lavender treating the sweet boy in front of you anyway other than lovingly. 

“We can’t be together anymore, that’s all there is to it.” You explained, shaking your head in return. It almost broke your own heart to be doing this for Lavender and having to see for yourself how exactly Ron was going to take the news. 

“Alright.” Ron mumbled, cupping your cheek before pulling you in for a kiss. You gasped but kissed back, moving closer to him. You’d almost forgotten what you were supposed to be doing, getting lost in the kiss before you quickly pulled away, resting your forehead against his. 

“I’m so sorry for this Red.” You whispered, turning away to make your way to your room. You couldn’t stop your hand from coming up to your face, a small smile forming when you brushed your fingers against your lips and remembered how his lips felt against yours. 

“Y/N?” Ron asked, making your fingers quickly fall from your lips and your eyes go wide as you froze in your spot.

———————————–

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[theropoda]

saw some discussion of majima's Mad Dog Persona©®™ on twitter and thought itd be nice to put down my thoughts on it somewhere. spoilers for y0 and y4, sorta. i get a little emo so this is kinda long and unnecessarily wordy

if you ask me it's all about control and being used. in 1985 he and saejima are used as pawns, small part of something so much bigger. they thought they knew what they were doing, what their purpose was but they didn't. they didn't know the truth of their actions and what they were really being used for. the truth itself is something i don't fucking understand tho lol, the plot of yakuza 4 is such convoluted nonsense and my least favorite of all the games so far because of it. idk what happened all i know is that they were both used

and he's used in the hole, cause god knows that his torturers weren't doing this shit out of just duty but for fun, blow off some steam and frustration by going into the hole and kicking the poor dude's teeth in.

and in the grand he's used, like a donkey with a carrot dangling in front of him, always being told oh, make a few million more and we'll let you back into the clan. and when he reaches that goal, it's a few million more, actually. of course no one's gonna let go of this cash cow.

and oh my God. the entirety of yakuza 0 he's used and he's used in the worst most heart wrenching way possible oh my fuck.

im coming to that part of this post where i lack the energy to articulate my thoughts both cause i simply am tired and because im being EMO!!!!!!! but that entire scene.

shimano revealing that he KNEW that he sent majima to kill makoto because he KNEW that he couldn't kill her, and would instead protect her.

it's not just "following my orders without realizing their true purpose" anymore. it's "going against what ive been told to protect who i love, thinking i was doing something right, only to be told i was following the plan." imagine thinking you were saving someone, only to be playing into the hands of the people who wanted to hurt that someone.

how heart shattering and humiliating that must've been??? to realize that your actions were not your own!!!!! and the words that really fucking hammer that shit in and made me lose my mind a little, "i know ya better than ya know your damn self."

not just his actions but his feelings too. i have my issues w majima and makoto's relationship but the idea that even something as intimate as their love and trust was just a stepping stone to a bigger goal, something like that just being used for shimano's reach for power, that shit hurts.

EVERYTHING about majima was used. predictable. i cannot imagine how it feels to be seen through like that. it must be so fucking dehumanizing, again the actions you thought were your own were not your own. you were just being used for something else bigger than you. feeling like a puppet.

that entire series of events is the crux of his mad dog persona for me, his breaking point. this persona has changed and developed over the years, shifting to fit new needs like a dinosaur (because dinosaurs were CRAZY successful and versatile, don't let anyone tell you otherwise, you'd fucking go extinct if a big ball of fire hit you too) but its foundations really lay here.

it's born out of the sickness of being used again and again. your body is used and your FEELINGS are used, all actions that you thought were your own were not your own. everything about you is calculated.

but you can't be used if you're unpredictable. if you're nuts. the mad dog persona evolved, imo, to save majima from being used. he shows the world a fake, exaggerated version of himself keeping his true self hidden so no one knows what he's thinking or what he'll do next. now he can't be controlled, he controls himself, and he's no longer afraid to do what he damn well pleases. no one's going to tell him what to do.

as i said before, this person changes over time as he meets kiryu and co, reunites with saejima, etc...but that's for another time i think.

BEFORE i end this post i should definitely say; i think people ignore lee and sagawa's role in inspiring him to live the way he does. it's always nishitani nishitani nishitani, which yeah he did but lee and sagawa were a big impact on him too and i love that. i could write a whole lot on sagawa and majima's relationship but i'll say that the fact that majima learned a lesson (tenacity, in particular) from his literal abuser and captor is part of his adaptability. this man has done horrible things to him yet he was still able to...learn something from him. he makes do with what he has, learns whatever tricks life can give him, even if it's through pain and torture at the hand of some piss drinker.