#this is truly nitpicking sorry lmao

[trillscienceofficer]

well if you replicate a turntable at least replicate one with a good cartridge damn

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 410: Kacchan Fights a Baby

Previously on BnHA: Kacchan was born and then he grew up and murdered the Demon Lord.

Today on BnHA: Kacchan fights a baby. Tomura and Deku finally remember that they were supposed to have been fighting too this entire time, and get on with that once again. Tomura is all, “[literally just reaches out and grabs Deku’s face because Deku’s main character powers suddenly abandoned him in a fit of confusion].” Deku is all, “[chops off Tomura’s fingers which is somehow not even in the top twenty of violent things that have happened in this series in just the last five chapters].” Tomura is all “joke’s on you I still got your quirk :D” and fuck me he actually stole Danger Sense, what the fuck.

logically I knew AFO still had to be alive somehow because he’s too big of a villain to go out that easily without a proper sendoff. but deep in my heart, I’m still secretly disappointed

it just isn’t fair, lol. this guy has died more times than Rasputin and he’s still out here scheming his schemey schemes. when oh when will it end

sir you did not just say you had yet ANOTHER unused trump card up your sleeve??

(ETA: the translation isn’t fully clear here, but I think the trump card he’s referring to is the whole “I’ll just go back inside him and join the part of me that was already in there and we’ll take over Tomura’s body again together” plan that he was trying to pull off. I think. if not though, that’s certainly something worth speculating about.)

well as always the psychology in this series is unironically fascinating! he just wants acknowledgement at the end of the day, huh. just wants some love and attention. too bad he was born in a rat-infested hellscape and learned all the wrong lessons and turned into a crazed omnipotent murderlad

also he really did turn back into a baby sdfsdlkjfl oh no. I need to see Katsuki’s reaction to this immediately

oh my lord

(●__●)

lmao this is so incredibly fucked up

ngl though, this is karma at its finest. he tortured and killed so many people trying to earn everyone’s fear and awe and reverence, only to literally blip out of existence at the end with absolutely nothing to show for it

everyone please enjoy this series of panels of a deeply vexed Bakugou Katsuki picking a fight with this slowly melting evil baby

“you think I care that you’re a baby now. you think I won’t fight a fuckin’ baby. let’s do this you little punk”

also I’m sorry but it’s absolutely ridiculous that the gigantic chest wound Tomura inflicted on him got sewed up so neatly lol. AFO’s not the only one who stubbornly refuses to die no matter what

...

just once, it would be nice if Horikoshi didn’t immediately shred my plot nitpicks to pieces mere seconds after I write them

LMAO

BABY AFO DON’T CARE. BABY AFO WILL THROW HANDS WITH ANYONE ＼(｀0´)／

KACCHAN MY BELOVED FAVE OF ALL TIME, ARE YOU REALLY ABOUT TO LOSE TO A LITERAL FUCKING INFANT

WHAT HAPPENED TO “PERFECT VICTORY” LMAO. MOVING THE GOALPOSTS EVEN AS HIS CONSCIOUSNESS FADES. “EH, CLOSE ENOUGH”

-- OH FOR THE LOVE OF --

me: wow it sure is uncharacteristic of Katsuki to just pass out before he properly wraps up this battle

Horikoshi: oh yeah good point, sure would be a shame if someone... IMMEDIATELY ADDRESSED THAT CONCERN ON THE VERY NEXT PAGE

me: ఠ_ఠ

ldskjflaksdjfkds

fdsfsdkf. “SORRY ABOUT THAT, FOR A MOMENT THERE I ALMOST FORGOT TO BEND THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE TO MY WILL”

holy fucking shit. his body was all “um, just a quick reminder that you’re HORRIBLY WOUNDED and have lost like ten gallons of blood and all of your cells are about to call an emergency meeting to shut this thing down before you get us all killed.” and he was all “WHAT WAS THAT?!” and his body was all “oh my GOD, FUCK, OKAY just forget we said anything”

and meanwhile Baby AFO is just lying there all “(◉⌓◉)”

this six-month-old child is truly and sincerely still trying to kill Kacchan while screeching death threats in high-pitched baby talk

this actually would have killed him too, if he’d succeeded in passing out. all that just to be punk’d by a damn baby

you are actually shitting me right now

at this point I’m genuinely not sure which of them has the more powerful angry toddler energy

oh no ffuffkdsfk

meeeeelting. meeeeeeltiiiiiing!!! oh what a world what a world

jesus Horikoshi I am genuinely speechless

... welp

WAIT NO WAY, REALLY?!?!

?!?!?! WAS IT ACTUALLY THAT SIMPLE THIS WHOLE TIME

-- lkjf

three times. three times in the same fucking chapter. I give up. apparently I’ll literally believe anything this man says. does it feel good, Horikoshi. preying on your readers’ hopeful naivete

yeefuckinghaw lmao

GOOD JOB KACCHAN YOU DEFEATED THE EVIL BABY

awwwww

I actually had a theory about this! well more of a wishlist item, really. I can’t remember if I’ve actually posted about it yet or not. but it’s like. you know how Deku and Kacchan are always being really dramatic about holding hands? wanting to hold hands; not wanting to hold hands; being afraid to hold hands; holding hands via proxy, etc. etc.?

and you know how both Endeavor and All Might have each done their own version of the victory pose that Kacchan is referring to here? with each one using a different hand?

so you see, I was thinking that it might be nice. might be a little poetic and all that. if at the end of the fight, Deku and Kacchan did, in fact, hold hands. and then did the victory pose together. and it became like their iconic hero moment. them standing there together. having accomplished their goal and defeated TomurAFO through teamwork. realizing their shared childhood dream. and sharing that moment of triumph with each other and with the world, ushering in a new era of heroes

anyway yeah. I was thinking that might be a pretty good ending. but it looks like Kacchan maybe really is about to pass out here now, lol, so maybe not? anyways time to finally scroll down

-- okay I literally said awww again out loud

what a fucking nerd. I have never felt more fondness for a character in my life

every damn person watching this on the news better have leaped to their feet and started applauding, goddammit. those motherfuckers better be CHANTING HIS FUCKING NAME. all those nagging reporters better be bombarding his phone with calls. those fuckers who deleted his footage from the Shouto interview better be shamelessly leaving him dozens of voicemails acting like none of that ever happened and presumptuously asking when he can free some time in his schedule to visit their studio again. all the heroes who haven’t hugged him yet better be lining the fuck up. that one guy from the post-kidnapping press conference in chapter 86 better be writing a fifty page letter of apology!!

oh hey it’s a random pre-battle flashback mysteriously taking place in Troy “a few days before the battle” even though I thought they only moved into that place the night before the fight

I love how Katsuki immediately narrows his eyes (I assume. we can’t see for sure but that’s the vibe I get) at Jeanist and has to resist the urge to call the police on him for that pun

so Hadou’s wondering what Jeanist is talking about because they already evacuated the civilians, so what else are they trying to protect. and Edgeshot is all, “well obviously we’ve gotta protect everyone’s future,” which is a nice... rearshadowing?? for him saving Katsuki’s life later on lol

and now Mirko is all “get to the fucking point already.” which, same

so Jeanist says that Tomura is an even bigger problem than AFO, because at least AFO doesn’t want to murder everyone on the entire planet. and he concludes with “he’ll probably try to touch the ground and use his quirk.” which is a conclusion that I have to say wasn’t really worth two pages of flashback buildup for, considering that we all figured that out years ago

I’m guessing this is all just some sort of awkward transition back to Deku’s fight now lol

and now we’re getting two pages of exposition on how long it would theoretically take Tomura’s Decay to spread throughout the city, and then the entire country, yikes

damn. talk about stakes

and now finally back to Deku!!

shoutout to everyone who correctly predicted that Deku was once again talking out of his ass when it came to being out of Gearshifts. we all knew. unlimited supply

wow Tomura way to throw AFO under the bus

the way I recall it, AFO wasn’t the one who failed to kill him back then lol. but go ahead and talk your shit king

DEKU WHAT ARE YOU DOING

holy shit?!?!

like my first thought was “well last time he did this he just tried to steal OFA rather than Decay him, so he’ll probably try that again and it’ll be fine.” only to remember that the AFO inside Tomura is currently permanently(?) out to lunch, and Tomura himself doesn’t give two figs about stealing OFA. so, uhhhh >_>

(ETA: nevermind.)

but then this happened

Deku what the actual fuck

OH MY GOD??!?!

HOLY SHIT

okay. okay, fuck. lemme gather up my thoughts, and then we’ll wrap this up

they’ll never admit it, but you know the other OFA Vestiges secretly resented Shino a tiny bit for being the only one of them to not be gruesomely murdered. bet they all feel guilty for thinking that now

Shino and Banjou also seemed to have this cute little pseudo-rivalry thing going on, so I really feel bad for Banjou now. :/ he looks so horrified in that bottom right panel

gotta admit, I did not see this coming in the slightest. OFA has been this immutable “I do what I want!” quirk for so long that I never thought Tomura or AFO would actually succeed in stealing it, even partially. that shook me to my core

BUT, it’s also really exciting to me because it’s going to make this battle much more interesting if Deku can’t use his get out of jail free card. shit just got way more real and I’m here for it

lastly, so! let me tell you guys my prediction. I still can’t see Tomura being the final villain lol. I just can’t. it feels too anticlimactic. if I’m wrong, I’m wrong, and I’ve certainly botched MANY predictions in the past, but I have not yet learned my lesson from any of it and I will not apologize lol

so here’s what I think. Deku and Tomura battle it out for the next chapter or two, and Tomura snatches up more of Deku’s quirks one by one. we see all of the Vestiges disappearing and the mood gets more and more desperate. eventually we’re down to just Kudou and Yoichi. Deku is panicking, but for some reason Kudou seems even MORE panicked

Kudou/Gearshift eventually gets stolen too, and it looks like this might finally be it for Deku (I have no idea how he’d stop Tomura from Decaying the ground once Blackwhip gets stolen, btw, but maybe Katsuki or someone else interferes in desperation towards the end). but just when it looks like Tomura is finally going to take the last piece of OFA, Deku’s vibes suddenly do a 180, stopping Tomura in his tracks

cut to the OFA Moon Gorgeous Meditation Realm, where Deku and Yoichi are staring at the door -- yes, that door -- in shock. because it’s finally been opened (now that the other Vestiges are no longer there to keep it at bay). and just like that, enter AFO, for the THIRD FUCKING TIME :D :D

tl;dr, HERE’S HOW HORCRUX!DEKU CAN STILL HAPPEN!!! wait where are you all going. wait come back

anyway so wow that was a really bizarre chapter that I truly thoroughly enjoyed, which should probably be a bit concerning. on to the next two week break! (for anyone who’s not aware, Shounen Jump will be on break next week, so yeah.) I’m on chapter 391 now. so close but still so far. the end of the year has gone by too damn fast tbh

[darksxder]

the good plant pollen

pairing: fem! recom reader x na’vi miles quaritch

summary: getting hit by a sex pollen on your first mission as a recom was not exactly ideal, but thankfully your colonel helps you out

warnings: dubious consent (due to sex pollen), pwp, masturbation, sexual tension, p in v sex, public sex, voyeurism, creampie, breeding kink, dirty talk, na’vi heat cycle/sex pollen, power dynamics for sure (you’re his subordinate)

word count: 12.5k (HELLO???) not even sorry, my hands ache tho (from typing, not anything weird)

a.n: i requested something similar from @shadowshart but realized I wanted to play with this idea myself also lmao (read their story it slaps!)

GOT CARRIED AWAY WITH BACKSTORY I'M SORRY OKAY.

also thank u to my roomie for helping me with ideas, love u s.

dts: to the lovely @shadowshart herself (im ur biggest fan fr, sorry i flood your inbox) & @tarrynightss for beta reading, love you bae <3, @spiderlover03 for wanting this fic so bad and always, @belle82devart​     

*******

You wouldn't be in this situation if you paid attention.

You swear it.

You knew you should have been paying attention to Darcy as she pointed out things from the slideshow of venomous and otherwise deadly plants and wildlife on Pandora to avidly avoid, but you swore you knew it all already. Or at least you think you did from your other life.  

You remember certain blurry flashes of colours and ramblings of a safety meeting, the dim room packed with row after row of benches full of whispers and muddled mumbles of ‘dangerous’, ‘claws’ ‘toxins’ ‘ leaching from skin’. Just a monotonous repeat of: ‘deadly’, ‘deadly’, ‘deadly.

All you could truly remember was watching Quaritch’s arms flex as he addressed you all, the way his face tensed as he spoke, just an octave under a yell, always. The strain in his neck. You were in the front row, leaning in, all for the guise of catching every word he spoke and you had at the time, but still, he was the major thing on your mind even then.

And now he was still a distraction, with his thick thigh pressed against yours, his heat leeching off of him and gripping at you, travelling up your side, up your neck, tingles spreading through your extremities. If you moved away an inch you would be on Lyle’s lap. That was not an option despite the constant light flirtatious jokes shared between you.

And no matter how sick it was, you enjoyed this stolen touch. It still felt forbidden. Probably because it still was.

He was still your colonel, you were still his subordinate.

How unlucky to be given the chance to live two separate lives where you were infatuated with him, and in both, you could not have him.

He didn't seem to mind this touch now so why would you? Honestly due to this you truly had no chance of paying attention to this safety presentation before the mission. It would have usually had your rapt attention, but something about this morning had you anxious and the touch of Quaritch had your stomach all fluttery and your mind wandering as the scientist spoke.

She was a mean woman, about your age, or at least the age you were as a human, your na’vi body was only 20. She had fierce red-brown hair that hung in long, frizzy waves. A headband pushed the bangs back from her face harshly as she rolled up her sleeves and continued talking. On her pale face, she wore teal eyeliner, and you suspected it was a strange way to place herself firmly in the recom team spirit, but what got you was her personality. She was fiery, she bit back at everyone, insults that went a toe too far, were her supposed comfort, terrorizing her fellow scientists through nitpicks and badgering in sickly sweet mocking tones in the morning and dragging them to the lab past reasonable hours.

Overall just metaphorically making them bend to kiss her feet.

Quaritch liked her. Not enough to like her as a person, but enough to appreciate the snark, the tone. Enough to ask general Admore to put her on their team for good the first week when she yelled at one of her many scientist underlings who got in Quaritch’s pathway.

Sometimes you wondered if he fucked her.

But when you did, you got sick at the thought and quickly extinguished it.

You focus back, feel the rumbling of the bench underneath you. Lyle was laughing beside you so loud it reverberated through the metal. Your eyes snapped up to see a deep red, long-leaved plant displayed on the screen and all of the recoms laughing. Darcy looked a bit too pleased with her ability to make Lyle wheeze.

“Overall it's not exactly supplying the good type of plant pollen if you know what I mean.” A wink. You did not indeed know what she meant and you heard Quaritch huff a laugh behind you.

“ Unless you like being on a rock for hours, I guess. There is a reason the na’vi call it the tsewtx toruk ”

Mansk spoke behind you. “The fuck does that mean?”

You laughed, which made Darcy glare at you. “It means dirty dragon. Its namesake is for its potency, strength and umm… tenacity or stamina it gives the user. As well as the physical symptoms of intense fever and hot flashes. But again like everything else, it is deadly. You would fuck till you drop essentially. Stay away.” A click and she was onto something new and you tuned her out again. Willing yourself to soon be able to make it out of the room, to be without her nasally voice if even for only an hour’s reprieve.

You were still focused on other things, panic flaring as you remembered you got up late this morning. Now mentally calculating how fast you would have to be after the meeting to make it back to your bunk and clean up your station before bed check later when you got back. But you focused pivoted again.

Not very far, just to your right.

Your colonel was so very close to your side. You were trying not to stare, truly, but you knew you weren't doing a good job. Your side eyes were never particularly subtle, Mansk and Lyle told you this for years and yet you continued. You couldn't control it. And it didn't help that you were much more noticeable in your na’vi body.

******

You were used to being firmly human and tiny for your age.

You were a stealth operative under Miles Quaritch for the RDA at twenty years old nearly 14 years ago. A lifetime ago. Able to even sneak past every na’vi and even Eywa herself they swore, but you never thought that was quite true. They nicknamed you Ghost anyways.

You pretended to hate it.

But when you had snuck into their village one day when they were gone to the river for a ceremony, taking pictures of the internal structures undetected, the team had celebrated you. Seriously celebrated, and even made a makeshift cupcake to commemorate the breakthrough. But it was not something done lightly and the cupcake was neither edible nor good, but you had eaten it. Had smiled, and allowed yourself to be jostled by firm slaps and pats on the back of Wainfleet and the rest as the guilt gnawed at you slowly.

But Quaritch noticed, he always did.

He found you out on the bridge that night, leaning against the rail as you gazed at the depths of emerald tones that made up the forest.

“You did well today. I know it’s difficult, soldier, but you did well.”

You looked up, startled to see him at your side. So much taller than you, even as a human. White hair cropped short and clothes pressed even at the late hour. Not a single wrinkle.

The deep scars on the side of his head caught in the blue-white light of Hell’s Gate’s fluorescents as he talked. They almost shined as if they were a platinum badge. His blue eyes lit up an icy hue. You felt your palms sweat as you readjusted your grip, feeling yourself shake just slightly. The once-chilled air of the brig was warm as you felt him step beside you.

Always on your right side, after having noticed you tense the first day, when he saddled up to your left. You had bad hearing on the left side and hated the anxiety of someone being on that side. He switched wordlessly when he saw you tense. His jaw set, eyes facing forward. He did it wordlessly and never left that right side view since then, even when agitated at you.

Especially then.

If he didn't like you, which you were sure he didn't, he at least respected you.

That was rare for him and it was enough.

It was enough.

But now as you try to shove images of burning forests and screaming na’vi from your mind you could barely see him. You were so tangled, knotted and sick at the way you would be and always were in a way a part of it. All of the atrocities, the death. Once you had been passive but now you had chosen to be firmly active.

He followed your gaze to your hands, you could feel it before you matched his stare to your white knuckle grip on the metal rail. You unclenched, shaking out your burning hands. A deep sigh rumbled from his chest, the sound seemingly following the curve of your spine as he leaned back. Dog tags clinked as he leaned farther forward over the rail to properly see you, to meet your eye. You indulged him only just to see his gaze be soft if only for a fleeting second as you gave in. You were always nervous about its absence, but it was always there. For you, at least.

You tried to smile, but it was barely a twitch of your lips, your knees aching as you tensed next to him. You had been standing here for hours after the so-called ‘party’ had died down.

Music booming in your ears, rattling your hunched frame in the corner as a small smile twitched at your lips to assuage that you were okay as the world fell apart around you. Breathing in the stale air of the gym in the brig, smelling dust, metal and sweat and of course the sweet vodka peach drink Zdinarsk spilled on your elbow as you moved past her. You took in everything as you sunk into the concrete behind you, revelling in the cold bite of the chilled material. Just watched as Zdog and Prager shouted lyrics to a Jay Z song, fingers pointing up to god knows what, rotating between gesturing the song out and rounding Lyle and Mank's shoulders as they laughed, half belligerent, drinks sloshing onto the concrete ground from battered red plastic cups. Since slipping out the back and avoiding the colonel's eyes hours later, you were just here.

Unmoving as the base winded down further and people prattled around its large expanse. All flitting about with briefcases and files as they rushed past you to their makeshift homes. Tired eyes focusing on the idea of their beds as the day was wasted and the next promised to start just as early. They filled the once cold lifeless gray space with life for a time until the night truly dwindled. The eclipse lit everything a bright purple. Awash in colours of magenta, and violet you just breathed, hands shaking as you inhaled. Your gaze never leaves the wonders beyond the glass surrounding you.

Now you were here and he had finally found you.

“You know why you're so good at your job, Ghost?”

A sigh slipped past your lips. Your shoulders caved in as your eyes slid shut once more at his deep raspy voice. At the use of your moniker, a remembrance of reality. He was your colonel. You were but a soldier. You were no hero, certainly not now.

No woman he had met by chance. Not a friend of his, of anyone, no longer a sister, no longer even your first name.

Just Ghost.

“No. Why, Colonel?”

And he hated how weak your voice was as he brushed calloused fingertips against your hands. So slight you were sure it was an accident. Your gaze shot to his, heart jumping painfully, back straightening as you stiffened. His eyes kept yours as he pried your hands from the rail none so gently, turning the right palm up and sliding something small and cool into your hand before closing your fingers around it, softer than the initial yank from the rail. But only by a fraction. All he could afford you.

Shivers raced up your spine, your chest aching at the touch, lurching with it.

“Wh-”

“It’s because you care. The animals out there don't notice you because they know you care. Like they know you wouldn't hurt them, even when vulnerable and squattin’ in the mud. You just have to remember to care for your kind more, alright?”

Your lip wobbled, voice much too weak to speak as you merely nodded, gaze trailing down again. Heart racing and fear clawing at you as you just stood there, weak and mortified, scared that he knew it all. Had the power to have you called a potential traitor for your empathy.

You wondered if when he said animals he meant the na’vi or the wildlife. You swallowed hard, eyes burning, squeezing shut as if you could wring the horrible thought from your mind, keep your heart from sinking to the depths alongside your stomach. You did not want to ask, for you knew already.

Your eyes tracked your beaten-up converse on your aching feet as you shuffled from your left to right leg, ignoring the prickles that raced up your shins. Caught on the only remnant of your sister left. She died in failed cryo on the way here. The heart drawn in sharpie on your left toe from your last day together. After, you both collapsed in exhaustion from packing your small joint carry-on bag the night before shipping off. It was glaringly bright in the white-tinted light illuminating the large hall now.

Still muted, smudged, and fading, but it made you smile anyways.

They were the first thing you put on each time you got back to base. The first step after a shower.

All of this, you realized you did for her. All of those like her, those left on earth. Trapped there, on a dying planet with no solution, no real plan or power to change it.

You finally braved a look at your palm, seeing a carved metal charm sitting there amongst callouses. It was crudely carved from the material but still startlingly smooth. It was a small ghost resting in your palm. No longer than your finger pad. A small hole was punched near the head with a link there to attach to your dog tags.

You let out a laugh at the sight and Quaritch was sure he had never heard anything so sweet, so close to shattering.

Your hand, gentle but rough like his, brushed against his knuckles. But this was no accident. It could never be construed as such and that was the true danger. You focused on feeling the strength there in those three seconds before your hand fell back against the now icy rail, missing the fleeting warmth he always seemed to radiate.

You just have to remember to love your kind more, alright?

“I do.”

A nod followed your soft words and he saw then just how young you were. With your two braids falling over your shoulders as you rocked back on your heels, forearms poised on the rail as you held the charm gently, close to your hoodie-clad chest, like it might break, like someone might take it from you. He focused on the light highlighting your features, and he felt his breath still for a mere moment. All at that moment it clicked in his head as if it was invisible until now, at this moment.

You were barely past being a teen, having signed on for a suicide mission with a sister who was long dead now, with few other choices six years ago. You were an excellent sniper and a keen strategist. A good follower, who took great orders. Loyal as shit. Throwing yourself in front of many projectiles from day one for strangers, colleagues and your team alike. Hell, you were probably a better soldier than all of them combined.

But you were too young. Painfully young.

Much too sweet to have calluses so deep and eyes so pained and a voice so hollow. Too young to have lost so much.

His gaze fell to your shoes, then back up as you looked back out to the horizon. He just wished you didn't wither away, yet. You were all so close to an answer. He knew it. A solution. Pandora was it. He knew you just needed a reminder and he would give you one, just this once.

You were just a kid.

Yelling never worked with you and he could never bring himself to do it anyways. You were a motivator for everyone, always picking them up with words or hands if they fell, but you were also easily motivated yourself. Easily swayed by a belief that what you were doing was good, or right. So he would give that to you. Because he needed you, he needed this whole team.

And that's all he thought when he had found that metal shard in the yard a month ago, in the vast grasses that tickled his hands as it sat in the very middle of it all. The whole operation and base. And he took it back to his room to carve. Immediately seeing the small timid ghost in the shape. It was barely the size of the pad of his thumb when he was done, whittling it to near nothing, slivers embedded in his palm, his skin. It only took him a night. He worked in between sets of weights and paperwork he barely dared to usually do, fingers always itching to pick up the tools again. Its creation in itself was motivating.

He tried not to think of why he was doing it. Pondered why he couldn't put it down when he started.

Why did he wait so long to give it to you? Why did he dread how you would react? Why was he so sure of how you would?

Just as you were now.

Soft, kind and something else he wished he didn't see. He refused to see as he too looked at the expanse of stars above your eyes, past your stare. He wished he saw what you did there, what you talked of seeing, of feeling. You talked of a vast expanse, a deeply instilled hope, a timid purpose, a reminder that although time was not infinite, life beyond them was, the cycle of everything and anything was so endless and it didn't scare you. It brought you peace as you gazed at the bright twinkling gems cast in the inky dark.

But instead of an expanse, he saw a dome. A prison. And that charm you cradled is just the same. It was just manipulation, a trap to get you to stay.

That’s all it was.

That is all it ever could be.

******

Now you sat there trying desperately to ignore the near euphoric scent of him beside you, and how your ears were twitching towards him whenever he made a slight noise, even if it was just a deeper breath than those previous. You noted all of them and swore you could feel them in your veins.

He smelled like a bonfire, a forest after a harsh rain, coffee, something like his old cologne with tangy twists to it along with gunpowder,  metal. It was perhaps what his soul could be summed up as if he had one. But you were very much sure that he didn't.

But you still managed to focus upfront once more, on Darcy’s grand hand gestures with the clink of her bangles at her thin wrists as she pointed to the moving 3D images of frightening pandora fauna. Her green eyes were bright even in the dimmed light of the command room. The hologram was now focused on a palulukan.

A leathery wolf-like thing that caught your eye. Its teeth were so large and it was around ten feet long in size, taking up the whole room. You felt your tail thwap hard against the ground, curling around your left leg as you jiggled it harshly. Lip caught in between your teeth as you tensed, but no one paid you any mind. All you felt was your heart racing so fast you swore it might break your chest open, might splat on the ground still beating its erratic rhythm. Your fingers tighten on your empty holster as if to reach for a gun to protect yourself against the hologram threat.

“Y’know, they’re not all bad up close.” Quaritch laughed beside you, a low mocking thing that did horrible things to you.

That had your head snapping to his. Jesus, he was beautiful, that's all you could think, the anger giving way to awe as you watched his nose twitch, a look of confusion on his face, but it was gone as soon as you noticed. Like it was never there.

The stripes on his face matched his nature, sharp and melted into his bone structure. Highlighting the high cheekbones and strong jaw. His recom tags twinkled as they dangled with his strong lean forward, forearms resting on his knees. It gave you a horrible sense of deja vu you couldn't quite place. You always shoved memories of your past life away and you knew why you shoved that one out quickly. The tiny ghost charm still around your recovered dog tags felt like a collar then, even if it was tucked into your shirt, away from his view. You swore he knew. Knew he owned you.

“I’m not sure I believe you. I mean this is coming from the man who was once permanently scarred by one.” You said.

A huff.

“Plus I’m not concerned. Nothing on Pandora scares me like that.” You paused, frowning. “Not anymore.”

Not since dying. He knew what you meant.

His face was stern, but playful at the edges. It was evident in his eyes that he didn’t buy it. No muscle shifted in his face or his body, not a single hue of change seen, even of a minuscule sort, and yet you knew he was aware you were full of shit.

His eyes fell to your hands twisting in your t-shirt and you stilled them.

He laughed.

“That’s not what gave you away, Peach.”

And he leaned in, the smell of him was overwhelming, intoxicating, you felt like you were suffocating, fighting the urge to take a deep gasping breath in. He smelled so good, your ears perked up, flattening against your hair, then ruffling up again as his raspy voice whispered in your right ear as it twitched at his warm breath,

“I can hear your heartbeat.”

That only helped to increase its speed, you felt like you would faint, sure you would, but it was the least of your problems as you heard the recoms shuffle and make to move out. The dim lights now burning bright. All grabbing weapons off the table and suiting up. You hop up quickly, eager to get your hands on a gun, to then check and make sure that your bed was expertly made before inspection later, excited to get out and far away from Quaritch, from the itch he left under your skin. But the firm yank to your tank top collar had you gasping and collapsing back into his chest, your nose filled with his rich scent. You could feel his strong arms around you, one at his side, flush with your body, the other at the nape of your neck like you were a rogue kitten. You could feel his breath, your body moving, arching as his chest expanded with his inhales, could feel the cold metal of his belt buckle against your tailbone, digging into the soft skin there deliciously. Heart still racing.

“Where you goin’ Rookie? Chopper’ is that way.” His eyes met yours over his shoulder, your breath stalling as you felt his eyes wander like a physical touch branding you, brushing against the hemline of your top, your heaving chest. He grunted, making an exaggerated gesture to the right side, in the direction of the hangar.

“Right, I- I just forgot something.”

He snorted. “Well tough, we gotta head out. ” And that was that.

You heard Lyle laughing at your expense, pointing at your flicking tail which you grabbed from behind you in fury at the blasted thing. It was giving away way too much to devious people around you.

The Colonel just charged ahead of you all, shoulders squared and ears flicking in irritation. He looked so mad and you had no idea why. Well, hopefully, he’ll let you off easy later at the sight of your messy sheets.

Hopefully, that scary palulukan bastard won't kill you… Hopefully, it will all go fine.  

********

And it was all going fine until you spotted a viper wolf from the corner of your eye. You were a mile into the journey since drop off, muscles tight and burning from hacking at plants and hiding from leering beasts. The animals still attacked people they recognized as na’vi, just not as much as an avatar driver or god forbid, a human would. None of you were as accurately attuned to silent threats as the people of Pandora were. The recom bodies were new and native in theory to this planet, but you did not grow up as they did, hell you all grew up in a tank technically.

It had been stalking you all for a long time you gathered, it had to have been, what with the way it effectively cornered you as you all were nearing a ditch drop-off along with the certain confidence to the wind up of his body. So when it finally dashed with a horrible high-pitched laughing sound everyone turned to it, but it was already in the air.

Your hand grabbed your knife from your sheath with ease, throwing yourself in front of Quaritch and swinging your arm up with a cry. The thing launched itself with so much force that it bent nearly into a c shape as your hand slammed into its abdomen, sickly thin ribs curving over your hand, teeth snapping at your face as you swung it around, twisting the knife deep, teeth gritted in a yell, neck leaned back to avoid its teeth. Blood soaked your hands as jaws snapped at you, continuing their attempt at your face. You didn’t realize you were near the edge until it was too late. A strong kick of hind legs to your ribs shoved you off the grassy hill. Your grip slipped from the knife, and the creature it was buried inside as you went down screaming, tumbling down a rock covered slope. Wind and grass whipped past you, rocks crushing bone as you rolled, limbs flailing as you fell from various heights in between harsh slopes of land. Arms tucked around your head near the end. Muffled gasps and breaths wrenched from your lungs, various hard things crushed in your chest, and mud slid into your eye, leaving you with no sight on your left side, and with no air.

You couldn't breathe. You couldn't see.

All throughout you heard constant shouts of your name, “Ghost!” and whether it was a minute or truly an eon, you finally stopped moving, collapsing on your back, wedged under a sharp rock and something delightfully soft in contrast. Your head pounded like your heart was there.

The world was truly spinning, your stomach turning violently. The taste of metal and grass in your mouth. Splinters of sunlight fractured your vision as you pried your eyes open, looking up the long hill to the sea of blurred faces. With a groan you assessed the damage quickly, and stood shakily, trudging over with only a slight limp to the clearing next to you so they could see you were alright. But with blood running down your forehead, arms swinging around for purchase as your knees buckled, you can imagine it was not exactly affirming.

“I’m okay. Is the thing dead? Are you all alright?” You asked, voice shaky.

The clinks of rocks and mud had your heart jumping as you moved back, falling on your hands and knees, moving backwards like a crab then standing again when sense came back to you.

Someone, no idea who, was making their way down the hill, at the very loud and very kind protest of your teammates.

You found your voice as your head swam with worry, your vision still too blurry to make anyone out. You didn't want them to get hurt. “No, no it's okay. I'll find my way up. Is it dead?” You called, wondering if you had asked that already, but truly unable to remember.

Your head was severely pounding. And perhaps you were fine until a wave of dizziness blacked out your vision, and your legs gave out from underneath you. Pain ripped up your tailbone to every single cell of your spine. You felt like you might throw up as you yelped. But after wincing, and back bowing in, eyes squeezing firmly shut, your gaze met a lovely red flower beside you. With a deep blue and orange center. With oval-like petals the size of your actual face. It was ripped in half savagely and you felt the ground around you in a panic, calloused fingertips meeting soft petals wedged under your ass.

Oh no.  “Shit, I’m sorry.” You whined.

A laugh. You had no idea where it came from. “What is she apologizing to? A plant?” You paid them no mind, tears welling in your eyes at your destruction of the life here. It felt like you were still the same. You huffed, gazing at the horrible tear in its side. It was nearly as tall as your waist and it looked heavy, naturally leaning against a mossy tree. A thick white substance was flowing from the flower's core. It was bleeding.

“Oh my god, I'm so sorry.”

Combat training takes place before logic it seemed, as your shaking hands dipped into the flower, pressing against the center as if trying to stave it from bleeding out. But as you did so a burst of yellow dust slammed into your face. You choked, stupidly taking a deep breath in through your nose as you slid your mouth firmly shut, feeling a burn in your lungs, an itch in your nostrils. You sneezed, some of the powder falling out, dusting off of you. The flower’s essence was now burning on your hands and Darcy’s warnings kicked in much too late. You rubbed them against your rough pants, with the feverish feeling sinking in. They were no longer wet like though, almost like you had absorbed the thing.

Tingles raced up your arms as you winced, moving away quickly, truly just staggering around. Wiping your hands on the ground quickly again. But as soon as you stood on your feet your vision cleared, and everything became so much brighter.

Woah.

All of your pains faded away, almost healed. You felt great honestly. Nothing felt tilted or like a scene with a film filter on now. You felt alive, it was the only word for it. And so when Quaricth made it to the bottom finally, an almost scared expression on his face, eyebrows once furrowed in worry, scrunched in confusion. Lending to genuine shock as he watched the gash on your forehead heal itself, sealing with a pink glow, leaving your blue skin perfectly untouched.

His mouth went dry, gaze straying to the plant beside you. It looked quite familiar. Then back.

“You okay, Cupcake?” You throbbed at the nickname, deep in between your thighs, so sharp you almost fully folded over. What was that? You cleared your throat, feeling the tingles from your hands race up your windpipe as if you had just drank something fizzy, coaxing your words to slow, the octave going just slightly deeper. It didn't go away, the feeling flowing up your arms and wrapping around your waist like an embrace. Oh god. “Yeah, Let’s go.” He handed you your knife, neatly cleaned on his shirt and you stashed it back at the garter on your thigh with a wink.

He felt his steps still as you moved around him, grabbing at the rope Mansk threw down as you started to climb. You looked utterly fine, but he knew you weren't. It wasn't because he watched a gash heal itself on your skin, but instead for the fact that you had winked at him. You would never have dared.

His ears twitched, his tail flicking leaves harshly before he reined himself in again, determined to keep a firm eye on you.

*******

You knew something was wrong. Knew as soon as you touched that fucking plant. As soon as your vision cleared you knew what it was, what you had just properly and thoroughly infected yourself with. The so-called “dirty dragon”. You wish you had paid more attention, wished you didn't roll down a hill and hit your head making you delirious. Wished you were not stupid enough to try to save a goddamn plant as Lyle suspected. But here you were.

Maybe there was a cure.

Maybe you could make it back in time before it kicked in. You would never tell Darcy, she wouldn't help you anyway, but the chances of no one else noticing seemed slim. You stayed at the back of the pack, covering their backs as Quaritch led them once again. His search of the forest in front of him interspersed with glances over at you that you never failed to notice.

The recoms were just as distracting, but in an irritating way. You could smell all of them, all of their signature scents like they were pressed against you, nuzzling your face. It made your head hurt. You chose to focus on the best scent, his. It was intermingled with all of the other recoms, but it was the strongest, the best.

Your heart raced as you took deep breaths in, feeling the tingles spread from your lungs to your breasts with the action. Your gun kept slipping from your grip from sweat, it clung to your skin like a film, the relative cool of the morning in Pandora wrenched from you as heat wave after heat wave hit you. Sweat sliding down your forehead and teasing your parted lips. The rub of your thighs together as you moved in a low crouch was so intoxicating. A zing of electricity flowed up your body each time the seam of your camo pants met your center.

You were wet, so wet you could feel it. It felt like a period at first and you had panicked a little before realizing na’vi women did not get those, they reabsorbed the uterine lining as all animals should. It felt almost like a weight in between your thighs, as you noticed your arms shaking beside your head all whilst you kept the gun raised. On guard still even when you felt dizzy and faint. Hot and cold. Core aching desperately.

Quaritch raised a clenched fist and you all paused immediately as if in sync. His glance over a broad, muscled shoulder was quick, “Take the gear up three clicks and wait for Ghost and I there. Make camp.” Your core pulsed at his mere voice, an urge to be closer to him undeniable as you were still at the back of the group. Confusion marring their faces. He had an order against night ops, or at least he had as a human.

“What? Stay the night here? Are you crazy?”

It was Lopez, never shy to disagree with the Colonel's orders. But the look he gave him shut his mouth up real tight, sealing his attitude off.

“Nevermind. Let’s go. Move out.” Lopez grunted, picking up Colonel's dropped pack too before leaving. Struggling with the weight Quaritch didn't even bat an eye at.

Quaritch looked so good, hand loosely poised over his comm collar, the other resting on his cocked hip, braid swinging behind him with the motion. He looked delicious and you ached at the sight of him.

“General Ardmore, we're making camp. We’ll be back at 0600 sharp the next morning.” It was not a negotiation. You would have laughed at his gall, but it was no surprise to you and the snappy talk made you bite your lip, focusing on the deep timbre of his voice, basking in the sound.

You only snapped back to reality when you noticed the silence. Your group now a blurred mess in between faraway leaves, too far away, much farther than you remember them being. The colonel's words came back to you.

Take the gear, wait for me and Ghost there.

Leave us alone basically.

Oh god.

“Looks like you got yourself into some deep shit huh, Cupcake?” You sniffed, wiping at the sweat on your hairline frantically. “I don't know what you mean, sir. What did I do?” You squinted up at him, light spilling through long leaves to illuminate his figure, his eyes burning a bright gold in its rays.

You tasted your sweat as you took deep breaths, fists clenching as you felt your nipples rub against your bra with the move, thighs clenching slightly.

“I can hear your heartbeat, remember?”

Your face blanched, going still, eyes wide as he grabbed the strap of his vest, leaning into a hip, his lowered eyes travelling down your shaking figure.  

“What plant did you fall into exactly?” He asked, a hint of amusement in his voice. He sounded smug. The bastard.

Shaking your head, you moved around him quickly, the movement matched the slight wind, bringing his scent over you in a rush. It was so sudden-so strong and good that you gasped loud and harsh. Your pupils were blown as they stared ahead at the foliage, praying something would come out of it and eat you. End your misery as you feel your cheeks burn. Jaw clenched.

You ignored every tingle and jolt as you trudged on, hearing him fall in step behind you.

“Ghost, just tell me what it is. One of the scientist freaks can help.” You scoffed, turning back sharply, almost colliding with his broad chest, your own heaving, each breath harder to grasp. You hated this, every single part of it. Hating how every part of you wanted to be plastered to him, wanted to feel all of him. How hard you had to fight it.

“No. They couldn’t. They wouldn't.” You cry, gaze, meeting the ground in shame.

“What do you mean? They have cures to nearly every poison on this dam’ planet by now.” He moved forward as he spoke, cautious like you were a wounded animal. You bit hard enough on your bottom lip to split it, tasting metal once again as you smoothed sweaty palms down your thighs, tensing as shivers racked your body with the action. He moved even closer and you backed up five quick steps, they could nearly be counted as hops, your eyes wide with alarm.

He did not understand the danger he was in. How badly you wanted him. What you would do to have him and if he kept trying to come into your space you were not entirely sure he wouldn't find out.

“It's not a poison, Quaritch.”

A breath of silence stretched between you, both of you instead focusing on the chirps and caws of Pandora wildlife around you. And that's when he noticed it. The shaking of your hands, your voice, the blown-out pupils eating away at the gold of your eyes. The sweat. The wink. It’s not poison. What else could it have been? A healing plant was unlikely to cause these side effects. What else did Darcy-

Oh.

Oh.

“Take care of it.”

You scoff, cheeks burning, tail whipping behind you sharply.

“Excuse me?” It was shrill, the embarrassment rationing off your shy side to near nothing.

He gestured to the base of a large and thick tree trunk. Made a show of turning around, arms out wide, walking twenty paces out and stilling, gun at his side. Guarding you. He couldn't be serious. He couldn't. But the thought of actually doing it, sinking into the bark, tearing off your belt and slipping your hands under your pants, feeling along your cunt all whilst he listened, watched out for you? It was insane, and you refused to give in, but despite that thought your body moved for you. Your hands were moving and your knees locking before you fell to the grassy heap at the base of the tree.

******

Quaritch was sure he would pass out any minute now. He was tense, still, waiting, a part of him hoping you’d refuse, another knowing you would not be able to.

He could smell you for miles since the fall and the collision with that damn plant. He had been hard for hours, only taking point so no one else would see it. But you never noticed, you never did.

He wasn’t looking forward to the hell General Ardmore would put him through when he got back, but he knew you would not have made it back in time. He may have been distracted during the safety presentation by your scent, your warmth, and the touch of your soft thigh through his cargo pants but he paid attention, and it paid to do so. So he knew the shit you were in and it was deep. This was meant to be agony. He just knew- His ears swivel at the clink of your belt, followed by a rush of soft breaths.

Rustling has his tail twitching up, flicking side to side, nearly hitting his bent arm on the downswing. But it goes silent again and he can't help it. “You okay, Peach?”

Your moan is loud and he chokes, nearly falling over, fighting the urge to look, already perfectly picturing what he would find. He could hear you. How slick you were, he could smell it, his mouth watering, heat pooling in his stomach, fists clenching.

“God please keep doing that, Quaritch.” You gasped. His dick twitched. He stops, stomach flipping. “Doing what?” He drawled, bringing the last syllable on a walk, loving the squeak you made in its favour. His voice came out deeper, more rasped than he would have liked but he just  swallowed, hard. Fighting to not look over, slightly failing and getting a sliver of blurred blue in his peripheral vision, a glance at scattered clothes nearest to him.

“Talking.”

God. Someone save him.

It was wrong, all so wrong and yet he would do whatever you wished at that moment. He would say anything you wanted.

“What do you want to hear?”

A slick sound and another gasp and he swore he cracked a tooth with how hard he clenched his jaw. “Anything. Just need your voice. I love your voice. Fuck!” And he groaned, ears twitching against his head, eyes squeezed shut as he fought the urge.

He wouldn't do this, he wouldn't. It wasn't right, but still, he talked.

“I can smell your cunt.”

A moan.

“I could smell it for fucking miles ever since you ran into that fuckin’ plant. Could smell you. Could hear your heartbeat…both of them.”

He couldn't breathe because every time he did, he smelt you, he breathed you in and he was one step closer to losing it. To breaking.

“Never wanted to fuck something so bad in my life. Wanted to pin you up against a tree, rip all the damn' clothes off of ya’ until you admitted what you need.” He could hear your heightened breaths. “Please, I'm so close.” But he stopped, shaking his head.

“What-why?” you called, voice vulnerable. It was a whine and he was delighted. This was power and he knew how to wield it. You always wasted yours.

You could have had him back there at the bottom of the hill if you asked, in front of his whole damn team if you wished. Hell if you jumped him he would have gone for it, no questions asked. You could have had him at fifty one when you wanted him. He would’ve fucking taken you. It would have been wrong, but he would not have cared. But you never did try, never even got close when you could have. You never did the wrong thing, the thing you wanted. Needed.

But he was not you.

“I'll keep talkin’ till you cum all over those pretty fingers enough to be cured Cupcake, even if it takes till fuckin’ sunrise. But only if you let me watch.” His voice came out as a drawl, southern accent sticking to every syllable. His ears twitch to better hear you reply. It was immediate.

“Turn around.”

And he does, slow and sure like.  It takes everything in him to do it that way. To not seem too eager, like he hadn't been thirsting for your pussy since you were first placed on his team, when you were barely more than a teen. You were barely twenty and he was starting fifty, and yet he had wanted you. Human or not, Miles Quaritch wanted to fuck you and he was convinced that would never go away. You were not simply something he could get out of his system, but he would try.

Good God.

His heart stopped as his gaze met yours. Your eyes half-lidded, wobbly knees pulled apart, showcasing your drenched fucking cunt. You were wearing nothing but your dog tags. He found himself walking towards you, focused on the many strands of hair that fell from your braid, plastering themselves to your body, your neck, and your arms. Your face lovely and flushed, lips parted and swollen, but not as much as they ought to be. He drops to his knees in front of you, uncaring for the gun he throws in the grass somewhere around behind him, gaze never leaving you. Your heaving chest, your heavy breasts, your full blue curves in the sunlight.

“Talk.”

It was a demand and he could meet it.

“Yeah, whatever you want, baby. I’ll do anything you want.” He was stomach to the ground, palms gripping at the earth beside him as if for solace as he took a deep breath in and held it. His eyes flashed open as he watched your small lean fingers messily draw circles on your clit, hips jerking up, chest heaving. It wasn’t enough and the scrunch between your brows was from pain, not pleasure. He was breaking as your eyes met his. It was not the first time you looked at him like that, with enough lust to make his stomach flip, but it was certainly the first time he had ever been able to do something about it.

Jesus, he needed you.

“Use me, baby, please. I can give you what you need, y’know I can. I’ll fill you up, fuck that pollen right out of you if you want me.” A shocked sound came from you as if personally offended, hands falling off your body. You stood on wobbly knees and he joined you, cock aching as he stared down at your small flushed frame. You were beautiful like this. Perfect.

He was giving the power to you. Addressing the imbalance. You could refuse him, you could shove him away and he would willingly go, but he knew you wouldn't.

“ I want you. I a- I want you. Please.” It was a rasp, your voice near gone, throat parched. And your hands, hot as the sun gripped his tank top in fistfuls under his vest. He could feel your touch even above the cloth. At first he thought you were pulling him in until you whined when he tried to close the space. Hand smoothing up his shoulders. “Want this off?” He asked, hands on his vest. You only nodded and he unclipped it, not needing to be told twice, dropping it slowly to the tree beside him, your hand now laid on his bare shoulder.

“More.” Another demand.

He barely refrained from ripping the thing off. Settling for grabbing fistfuls on the back of his shoulders and pulling it up and over his head. Before he even tossed the shirt to the ground you were kneeling, thumbs dipping to rest on his hip bones. Your nose sliding up the line of his abs, inhaling deeply. He gasped, hand finding your hair, feeling the sweat there as you licked and kissed up his stomach.

One of his hands falling to the tree to keep his knees from fuckin’ giving out. You devour every inch of skin he showed. It was perhaps the first time he ever felt worshipped, with hands the heat of the sun gripping at his lithe waist, pulling and tugging him how you wanted, as you kissed, licked and bit at him, taking your pleasure with his. Your face rubbed along his hard-on through his pants nearly every third time you kissed his abdomen or sucked on a spot of his waist.

Butterflies. He got fucking butterflies like a teenage girl when you met his eyes, smiling before pressing the softest touch he had ever experienced in both lives, above his belly button.

That was it. “Oh, fuck it.” He rasped, pulling you up by the hands still on his waist, smoothing them up to rest around his neck, soothing your confusion with shushes as his hands tucked under your thighs, yanking you up as you yelped, a giggle falling from your lips. But you were not deterred, lips attacking his neck on the left side, under his jaw right by his chin and ear, and he nearly collapsed at the feeling, the pleasure that shot deep through his veins. With a deep breath his forehead met the tree. Fucking damn it, you would be the death of him. He overestimated how much strength he needed to carry you, to fuck you standing and you landed on his big blue chest, center landing on his sternum as gravity slowly pulled you down, the ridges of his abs rubbing into your puffy clit.

*******

You threw your head back at the feeling. Your thighs squeezed his sides as you slid down to rest on his hips. His head tilted back too then, a small huff leaving his nose as he went to gaze at the sky, as if to ask for mercy. You licked a hot line up his throat, sucking hard and he moaned, vision breaking to land back on you. Furious, he looked furious and it made another honest to god giggle leave your lips. The sound made your stomach flip, your core aching as you ground your hips into him hard. But with your look at the blue sky next when he dove to kiss your neck, reality cut through the pollen-induced haze.

You were taking advantage of the situation. He was only doing this to help you, a member of his team, that was all.

“Wait, wait,” you called, breathless and panting and he did, pulling back immediately, alarm on his face. A question in his lust-blown eyes, the golden green hue nearly swallowed by the dark pupil.

“You don’t have to do this. I don’t want to infect you” You said, tears in your voice. He tensed, hands readjusting you as he aimed to meet your eyes. He hadn’t even considered you infecting him, he knew you couldn’t. But you looked so sad. Then he got it. You had to be kidding. You thought-. Fingers firm but gentle on your chin made your gaze match his. He looked down, heart nearly stopping as he saw the ghost charm glint in the sun, newly attached to your dog tags.

A gasp left him. His gaze matching yours, now electric. He would devour you. “I’d fuck you whether or not I’m high on some plant, Peach. I’ve wanted to fuck you for ages.” It came out as a purr against your cheek as he leaned in, finally admitting it.

And you know he means it. You see it in his eyes, and you swear it’s enough to do you in.

You laugh, a truly mean-sounding thing. A smirk slides onto your face. His face tucked into your neck, kissing along your pulse point until you whined, hips jerking. He could feel your wetness on his fingers, sliding down your thighs, the hard pebbles of your nipples and your heartbeat roaring against his chest in tandem. Your short breaths caught against his ear as he ground into you. You sounded nothing short of heavenly, heat curling in his abdomen, an ache forming in his chest and navel, electricity smoothing up his arms at your feverish touch.

But he felt you pulling away. He took a long time to pull away from you, even longer to open his eyes. “What, what’s wrong?” His voice was nearly gone, cracking at the seams, it was all pure ecstasy.

Another laugh met his ears as your shaky legs met the ground. You turned so your back was to him. A flush of heat slammed into him as he took the view in. He marvelled at the slope of your spine, the dips at your blue hips, the stripes on your skin, the glowing dots across your shoulder blades. You place your palms on the tree, feet spread just slightly apart and then you lean back, putting just about everything on display.

“Nothing’s wrong. I just want you to fuck me from behind.”

And his hands are on your hips before you even truly finish your sentence. You hear the clink of his belt, hear it slide out of the loops, falling to the grass carelessly behind you.

“Can you do that?” You ask, hips swerving. It was a taunt. He wanted you, he could come get you.

Your back arched, pussy aching, truly dripping, heat plastered to your sweaty skin. You were fearless then, for the first time in your life. It came from being truly wanted, even if for a brief moment. A brief dalliance would be all this ever was anyways.

A quick yank to your braid as he wrapped it around his fist had you gasping, pleasurable pain ricocheting up your spine, your ass rubbing against his crotch as he pressed into you, the tree bark just barely brushing your nipples and you nearly screamed. It was too much.

“I can and will fuck you anyway you want. I’d fuck you standing.” He nuzzled into the nape of your neck, his tongue sliding along your tendon, the cool wind latching onto the saliva and making you shiver so hard you squeezed your eyes shut, knees locking, bark digging into your skin. He chuckled, “I’m gonna be buried so deep inside this cunt you'll never be able to forget it.” His filthy words were accompanied by one strong palm smoothing over your left hip, pressing against your abdomen, ghosting your navel. “You’re gonna feel me here.” You whined. Clenching around nothing.

It was painful. The plant coming in full force, demanding to be bred and fucked. Waves of pain spread the feeling of knives along your skin and he seemed to notice the switch from pleasure to pain again. His mask dropped. He didn’t ask what you needed, he already knew. Fingers slipped down to your cunt, and he swore, his hand slipping almost past it with how slick you were as if moving through water.

“Fuck, you're so wet.” One hand gripped at your breast, acting as an anchor to his chest, to ensure you stayed steady, ready for him as he thrust three fingers inside you. He swore as he felt your tight, slick heat.

A gasp and a moan met his ears as your back arched, ass pressing into him,  one hand gripped at his wrist, begging for what you were not sure about- but he did. His fingers were so thick, so good and you couldn't even think as he pressed three inside you all at once with a deep groan, slowly pumping them in and out, the sound of it almost comically loud as he focused on pressing up at just the right angle and depth to have you screaming, clenching around him so perfectly. 

Fuck, you were going to absolutely milk his cock.  

You fell forward, pleasure rushing over you like waves. You grasped at the tree desperately, knees going weak. “Please,” you moaned as his thumb slipped over to rub small tight circles around your clit. You went higher and higher, breaths lasting mere seconds as you gasped, voice high as you moaned. It was so fucking good, your tip toes pressing into the ground as you leaned up into his touch, hips grinding on his huge fucking hand.  His thrusts turned faster, harder, hitting the perfect spot. A sharp press of his fangs to the back of your neck, the broad base of his chest against you, pressing your nipples just slightly against the rough bark and you shattered.

He had to hold you up as he kept pumping his fingers, barely able to move them as your orgasm took over, clenching around him in waves as he continued to fuck you. It was a momentary reprieve. He could tell that was not enough because your breaths just picked up speed again and you arched your back further. “Inside, please. I just need you. I’m ready.” He wasn't sure if that was true, but he also couldn't imagine you could be more prepared. He pulled his fingers out of you, watching your essence fall to the forest ground.

He gripped your jaw, pressing you hard against the tree, your wide eyes meeting his, cheeks flushed purple, drool spilling from your lips. He nearly came at the sight. Quaritch pulled you back against him hard and you gasped, limp in his arms. Brought his arms in front of you, his right hand covered in your slick, his pointer finger trailing your lower lip and your tongue snuck out to taste. But his hand was gone, pulled away with a click of his tongue, head shaking down at you. “You’re so messy. Look at you, such a slut.” He spat the words out and you ached. He heard your heart beat jump and he laughed, bringing his hand to his mouth instead, tongue swirling around his fingers.

Eyes closed, he moaned at the taste. He was starving for it. You tasted so sweet. Truly like a peach. He licked every bit of it off of him as you whimpered at the sight. You tasted like heaven. He needed more, but he knew that wouldn't satisfy what the pollen induced lust was craving, so he shoved you forward again, your shoulder meeting the tree with a wince, pleasure shooting down to your cunt at the roughness.

“Finally fuck me.” You pleaded, ass wiggling back, voice edged in anger, frustration. And he broke. He yanked the rest of his clothes off faster than what should have been possible, bare feet bracing inside of yours as he rubbed himself along your pussy. You were plenty wet and smiled at the feeling. He had been fully hard since he turned around and saw you, since then just pulsing, feeling as his pants tried to stretch to accommodate him.

It was a mild relief. He could give you more of it.

He tapped his head against your clit just to hear you hiss, see hints of your fangs. Moving down he lead himself to your cunt. The slide inside you was immediate, and he swore, tensing every muscle in his body in an effort not to cum immediately. “Oh fuck, Peach.” He tried to think of something else, something other than your perfect fucking pussy clenching around him, tugging him in further like he was meant to fit there inside you near to the hilt forever. You felt like warm silk and he could feel himself get close, all as your hips moved back and forth, still struggling to take him all in. “Don’t.” he rasped.

You stilled, smile falling as you peered back at him, worried he changed his mind, worried you would never get the release you needed for the pollen to leave you.

“If you move, I'll cum.”

But that did not deter you. Actually, it seemed to make you move faster. You pulled off him, nearly hugging the tree until just the sensitive tip of his cock was inside you before sliding all the way back with a roll of your hips that had his hands seizing, his abdomen lurching in pure pleasure. “Fuck sake, stay still, girl.” You clenched around him at the nickname and he chuckled. He saw how it was. Two could play this game. If he would come quick, he would make sure you did it first, as many times as he could wrench from you. And his words always seemed to do the trick.

“Should have known you were a fuckin’ freak. The way you looked at me back then was absolutely filthy, baby. You wanted me even when I was fifty, isn't that right?” The southern drawl sounded so mocking as he thrust into you. It wasn't really a question, but he stilled, waiting for your answer.

“Yes!” You yelled, shame burned your cheeks as he slid his own against yours, leaning forward over you making you moan. He was so nice and deep.  You could feel his smirk. But you were rewarded for honesty.

He thrust into you so hard you saw stars before falling into a nice rhythm. Staying slow and hard with his thrusts as he spoke, his sweaty chest plastered to your back as his balls slapped against your clit. In between grunts and gasps, he spoke near your ear, but it was nowhere near a whisper. There was a bigger thrill because he was so loud. Anyone could hear, anyone could see. “Y’would’ve let me use that perfect young cunt any time I wanted, huh? Let me bend you over my desk right before a meeting, fuck you full. Have you leave with my cum’ still drippin’ down all over your pretty legs.” His words and a fast circle to your clit have you cumming again, this time around his cock. 

He swore, veins in his neck popping as you bared down on him, squeezing him for all he was worth. His own high closing in as he thrusted harder, slamming deep inside you, brushing something you didn’t even know existed. A gasp falling from your lips, eyes rolling back. He pushed a large hand into the divot of your back to force a deeper arch, your head falling forward as you braced for him. And he fucked into you hard and fast through your orgasm and past that, when you were so sensitive you barely realized that the heat was almost gone, the excess of sweat slowed to nearly nothing but from the exertion Quaritch was putting you through.

“Where do you- damn, “ a huff against your back, “I’m gonna cum, fuck-, where do you want me?” His hips moved as if to pull out of you as he asked, but you let go of the tree with one hand, grabbing the back of his thick thigh, getting half a handful of his ass, pushing him closer to you as you rock back on his cock, rolling your hips, making an effort to grind against his pelvis with fervor. 

Head tilted up, fucking begging internally for him to grab your throat, to lean down and kiss you, but you knew he wouldn’t. 

Not on the lips. He would never.  

“Inside Miles, cum inside me.” And it was you saying those words, your sweet voice breathy and the feel of you around him that did him in. Warmth flooded your core as he fucked up into you, in three hard slow thrusts, the sofest sounds you have ever heard from him escaping his lips as his head fell against your shoulder, shaking against your back, his ragged breaths making your hair stand up as you shivered, grinding back into him in slow circles. And he winced, making a noise that could almost be construed as whining if you were listening.

He was all over you, his scent flooding you, his seed inside you, spilling around his cock and down your legs. His sounds were so sensually sweet and it made your heart ache. He was yours. You would make sure of it. And you felt the heat rise in your body again, undeniable and painful.

When he pulled out, you turned, and in the last burst of a pollen-induced haze you grabbed the back of his neck, bringing his neck to your mouth, your fangs immediately piercing into his skin, tasting blood, marking him. He grunted in surprise, wincing as his arms grabbed your elbows, not pulling you away but holding you all the same. It was a primal thing, an urge you weren't even sure you could have, until you fulfilled it. You nuzzled into the crook of his neck, lapping at the blood, delighting in the absolute pained sign-turned-moan that left his open mouth as you sucked at his blood, tearing slightly into his skin to affirm your mark.

A sudden shot of cum shot out across your abdomen as he wrapped your legs around him, his arms firmly around your back. Promptly falling on his ass with the force of his orgasm, moaning as his hips bucked into the air, chasing something that already passed.

You had done that.

The feeling of your fangs piercing his neck, marking him as yours had brought another orgasm right beside his last. Not even a minute later. That would not have been possible for any being other than a na’vi, and at this moment you were grateful for it. His strong arms held you tightly against him, your rapid deep breaths matching his, your ear plastered to his slick chest, the uneven rush of his heartbeat having your lips curl up. You looked up to see his eyes closed, squeezed shut as if in pain, rough hands slowly rubbing circles into your back, tracing the points of bioluminescence there, dewy grass tickling your knees on either side of his hips.

You felt the ache from the rough sex before the soreness in your muscles came over you. A side effect of the way he manhandled you or from the pollen you were not sure. You can't believe you just did that. You were in such shit. But it was not over yet. Both of you refuse to get up, to leave this haven and return to the realm where this is forbidden.

Your palm smoothed up his pec and farther to his neck, landing on the fresh blood there. You looked up, moving slightly off him, taking his jaw gently in your hands. His eyes looked calmer now, but his pupils were still very large as he watched you, breathing hard through his open mouth. You felt his breaths under your left hand on his chest, rising up and down with its force, gazing at his muscled figure, taking in every inch shamelessly. And he looked back at you tentatively, but not guarded.

Trusting.

Your other hand tilted his jaw to one side as you leaned against him, sweaty chests meeting as you felt his breath hitching. You placed a kiss on the bite mark and he flinched.

“I’m so sorry.” You said, voice tired but sincere. He just squeezed your hip, unable to talk. Not now, not like this. He was too vulnerable.

Your pointer finger found the spot you were looking for. The small freckle on his neck to the left side, on the edge of his adam’s apple. Dipping further down, strands of your hair tickling his chest you ever so softly kissed his beauty mark. A whisper of a touch. A loving touch.

Quaritch breathed sharply through his clenched teeth, like he was in pain and your eyes watered.

“Thank you.” You whispered, pulling away, hands sliding down his chest to his abdomen where your hips sat. It was such a soft gesture, your lashes fluttering as you met his eyes once more. 

It was too much.

“No problem, Ghost.”

You tensed above him, but forced yourself to relax again. Your throat burned with the tears as you pushed up off of him. Still slow and cautious. You didn't want to give too much away. Not anymore.

That use of your alias was deliberate. It was a placement of the iron wall between you once more and although you knew it was coming, expected it even, it still felt like your heart was collapsing, wildly jumping all around your body as pain laced through your every shaky breath. Your jaw clenched tight, leaving him in a pile on the grass. It was hard to angrily walk away after taking a pounding like that, if anything you angrily wobbled away, but still, it was done. You wiped the cum off your body with leaves, and roughly stepped into your clothes. Your braid was undone, brushed with your fingers and redone. No need to keep it down.

You were sure he didn't leave any marks on you anyway. Harshly, you looked back, stopping mid-tie of your combat boot to see him. He was refastening his belt silently, nearly a half yard away and you just stared at his chest, his arms, catching on his tattoo on the left bicep. You never got to kiss it, and that thought nearly killed you. The yearning was a stabbing pain in your chest. It felt like being torn apart.

You noticed the marks, he had plenty to pass him by and you felt almost guilty, at least a little.

How would he explain it all?

But another part of you, the part of you that felt compelled to bite him in the first place grinned, smirking like a Cheshire cat with all the milk in the world at her disposal. It was like you had written ‘mine, mine, mine,’ all over him in the red and blue-black bruises scattered along his abdomen, along his v line dipping into his pants. The scratches on his left thigh, and of course the fucking bite mark on his neck, carved into the perfect blue canvas there from your fangs.

But if he minded it, he didn’t say a thing.

He could heal it at base camp easily with a nice blue gel, with no scars involved. You knew he would, but wished he wouldn't.

He didn't even acknowledge it as he walked into the set-up camp an hour later with you in tow. Did not even make to explain both of your absences. He wouldn’t. He didn’t need to. They knew.

You looked more put together than the Colonel, and that was the most obvious tell of what had happened. No one was more put together than him. It was like the man was born a military man, created from strict order and perfection.

Besides that there was the fact that you reeked of each other. No one could tell which scent was who’s, or even tell who you were by scent alone anymore. Then if they somehow missed that, the ripped shirt sleeve on your left side and the missed belt loop on Quaritch’s right hip was a good clue. Along with the uneven gait from you as you walked up the hill beside him to meet them, gun slung over your shoulder.

But the best clue- the one that did them all in, it had to be the fucking bite mark.

No, the declaration of property,

plastered on the left side of their colonel’s neck.

******

bonus:

It was five hours since they landed back at base and all the recoms were playing cards in the deserted cafeteria, all eerily silent. 

Lyle could feel the tension in the air ever since you and Quaritch separated like the sea when Bridgehead came into view. You go to the showers probably and Quaritch heads off to explain himself to general Ardmore, looking only slightly more presentable than yesterday.

They all wordlessly looked at each other before Lopez spoke up, the sound of the helicopter still ringing in their sensitive ears.

“So… cards, anyone?” Lopez asked. Everyone immediately agreed, a series of frantic nods and a chorus of affirmation as they all moved to the cafeteria.

They didn’t even bother changing, showering, eating, just walked to the cafeteria jostling each other, sharing tidbits from the mission in small laughs, but they never dared to speak about you. Or at least not what they were all actually thinking about in terms of you.

“Did you see the way she jumped in front of Quaritch with the-“

“-yeah. Just like old times. Stepping in front of shit, for that old goat.” Prager laughed, shaking his head roughly, disbelieving. He never understood that. He never would.

“The way the fucking thing kicked her off a cliff and she like got up, like she was fine??” Lyle exclaimed with a scoff, hands motioning in front of him wildly.

“Yeah that’s Ghost, alright.” She huffed a small laugh. “Y’know, i’ve never seen the Colonel throw himself in danger for anyone. But he cleared that fucking hill immediately after she fell.” Z-dog sounded almost awed as she finished speaking, still chewing her gum that had long since gone flavourless.

They all nodded, silence falling again. Mansk pulled a very serious face as if he was thinking hard enough to hurt before he spoke.  “It’s because he never has.”

They all turned to look at him, stilling as memories washed over them. It was always Colonel and Ghost. Always. The clatter of the dining hall got so loud as they were awash in melancholy. He was right.

They took off their gear and rounded the benches, the cards came out and it was dead quiet once again, but the tension was thick. Hard to breathe. The only sound was cards shuffling, the rhythmic pop of Z-dogs gum, and Prager’s huffs whenever he lost (which was always). It was enough for Lyle to finally break after two rounds. “So we all agreed they fucked each other, right?” His voice not even close to a whisper.

“YES!” The group yelled, in unison again. 

Relief went through them so fast, like a huge wave that crashed over and through them, their tired shoulders hunching forward like a weight fell off of them. And excitement rushed in to take the tension’s place.

“I knew it!-”

“I called it!” Z dog laughed, “Pay up you leeches!” Her hands spread out, cards falling to the metal table as she made a mock grab for Prager’s pockets. He only snorted, batting her away with a soft ‘fuck off, z-dog.’ 

They all laughed, feeling the buzz return to them, the camaraderie. “I just can’t believe it. I thought she’d never do it.” Lyle laughed, almost a sense of pride in his tone.

Lopez snorted. “Why not? He's always wanted her.” Nods all around the table.

“Yeah, they just both would never admit it.” A chorus of agreement once again, but the silence dipped into their group again. An unspoken thing still hanging over them.

“So… what changed?”

No one had an answer. They were shocked seeing you guys trudge back up that hill an hour after Quaritch told them to set up camp. After they realized you had fucked the hell out of each other.  But for some reason it seemed so normal. Natural. The tension had to break at some point. Everything gives in eventually. And they had been waiting for you two to break for years. It took two  lifetimes. 

They didn’t want an answer. Not really. None of them would ever talk of it outside the group. They were not snitches and they cared for both of you far too much to even think of it anyways. 

They just hoped you two fucking didn't make your relationship worse, or even more complicated than it was naturally. 

But perhaps it already had…

*******

a.n: if you made it this far: I am impressed! I have had this idea since the first week of January and finally getting it out was great! I read it too much  to like it, or tell if it’s even good lol. But lmk what you think, or if you want a pt.2 👀 cause I’m thinking about it tbhhhh

[youledmehere]

Exactly we saw everything about the CRM through our protagonists' experiences!! The CRM is present in everything we see in these 6 episodes, even in episode 4 the conflict is partially about them. Media literacy is truly dead

some ppl in twd fandom have a serious problem where they theorize something to death and end up getting mad when their own personal* theories don’t pan out and that was a big thing with their perceptions of the CRM. it wasn’t exactly what they wanted it to be so they wrote it off as being bad. i saw a lot of comments about it not being as “fleshed out” which doesn’t really make sense either since we spent the majority of ep1 through rick seeing what this new community is like and him starting as a cosignee and what that entails. we see him join the military and through that we learn more about how okafor wanted to change the CRM from the inside because the way they were operating would not be sustainable overall. we see through michonne the brutality of what their forces are capable of when she and her friends are attacked on the road. over the course of the episodes we learn what their ultimate goals are and why they did what they did. it was all in the name of keeping their city protected and hidden but eventually (as stories often unravel) we learn the CRM just cares about having the most power, ensuring their own survival at any cost while betraying their allies, and obtaining resources through horrible actions. at this point idk what else needs to be learned since most questions have been answered.

+ those same people who complain the most, deluded themselves into thinking towl was setting up some kind of next chapter (when nothing pointed to that and it was marketed as being six episodes long) where they wanted michonne to die so rick could have some man pain, go “savage” mode and team up with daryl and negan lmao?? instead. like sorry that daryl is on some european tour doing his own thing whilst negan is fast forwarded in his spin-off gallivanting around NYC? but it was never going to be some michael bay inspired production of exploding helicopters and men standing around together shooting at things while having bromantic moments so they just nitpick and whine

[mrs-gauche]

Vows & Vengeance Episode 1

ALRIGHT GUYS! As always, I'm super late to the party (although for once, I actually have a good reason, which is that I'm currently kinda in the middle of renovating my place lol), and while I first listened to the episode on Thursday, I just wanted to let it sink in a bit and listen to it again a few times, to really appreciate all the details. :D So here are a trillion few notes on the first episode (spoiler, I loved it! <3333) and I hope this doesn't sound too jumbled, I haven't had a lot of sleep lately. 😂😂💀💀

- Ok, so my first reaction to the ending was basically: "OH MY GOD NOTHING CAN EVER GO RIGHT", "DAMN THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY" and sobbing for Elio, I guess. lol

- My general thoughts: I loved it!! ❤️❤️❤️ I felt like it was gripping and immersive from the beginning, but also genuinely funny and moving at times! I think this first episode did a good job of setting up the plot, the pacing was good and I'm already invested in the new characters! The sound design and voice acting was top notch (albeit maybe a bit over the top and a little cheesy in a couple of scenes lol) and I absolutely LOVED the little nuggets of the Veilguard soundtrack we got throughout (Zimmer and Balfe confirmed!!). There are a few tiny nitpicks, but overall this was fantastic and correct me if I'm wrong, but I've never heard of a game being marketed with an audio drama before? 😂 But looking at Dragon Age's amazing voice cast (and the fact that they all made us develop a voice kink lmao), this makes so much sense and I need like a hundred more of these in the future. lol

Notes on the episode itself:

- The narrator reminds me so much of the ones in these old anime dubs. I was expecting him to be like "LAST TIME ON DRAGONBALL Z". He got lost in the wrong dragon franchise. lol Really cool voice though!

- I LOOVE how it starts off with a minute of just the ambient sounds, chatters and music of the tavern, to really get that immersion, as if you just walked into this place yourself. - That new rendition of "Oh Grey Warden" hit me in the feels ngl.. ;-;

- Nadia just walking it and poisoning Olen to get answers was such a badass introduction to our main character! - I like how the narrative is neatly tied together by making this a retelling of what happened, starting off with loads of questions and by the end we're back in the present again.

- Nadia and Elio are so sweet nawww <3333 - Those sounds of Elio waking Nadia up were straight up ASMR. lol - The tune that's playing in the back here is sooo nice, I wonder if it's part of the new Love theme or something. 🥹❤️

- A sort of forbidden love between Liberati and Altus, oh this better end f*cking well!! 💀💀💀 - Well, that birthday got cancelled REAL fast. lol - I get Nadia's outbreak, but DAMN, she went OFF on him from like 0 to 100 in a heartbeat. lmao I guess something was bottling up for quite some time. - "I'm sorry" Oh no. I notice a certain pattern. *sob* - Again, that track that's playing here, wooow. Goosebumps! It's a super tragic rendition of the main theme. I just know this one's gonna hit so hard whenever that plays in Veilguard. 😭

- I wonder if the docks here are the same we've seen in screenshots. :3 - The soundtrack that's playing here reminds me SO MUCH of Unravel (one of my favorite tracks in recent years! <3333) - I like Nadia and Vik's dynamic. Super authentic. :D

- Nadia's reaction to the gold and then "TRIPLE the bag for delivery??" Yeah, Solas truly is the richest apostate hobo in all of Thedas. Those vaults from Trespasser come in handy now. Good thing the currency of old Elvhenan is apparently still valid. lol - Solas' quest of collecting every ancient powerful artifact continues. - Isn't this like the second time now that Solas indirectly hired someone to break into the Archives? lol They really need to improve that security. (Watch there being a quest in Veilguard where you have to break in there again, but it's impossible due to the amounts of guards now and Solas is like "Yeah, that might be my fault, sorry." lol)

- Super random thought, but judging by the sound design, there's gotta be lots of chickens running around in the streets of Minrathous. lol - NEVE!! <3333 (I'm sorry to anyone who had the wildest conspiracy theories about that teaser image and was expecting someone else. lmao) - So, wait. Does that mean Solas also anticipated Neve to talk to Elio? Or maybe someone else was supposed to do that but Neve got there first? lol

- Nadia and Vik have got to be the noisiest thieves I've ever heard. LMAO HOW did you manage to steal anything until now?? 💀💀💀 - I love how you keep hearing Vik laughing in the distance while distracting the guards. lol

- I wonder if all the turmoil could have been avoided if they just informed Elio about his ancestor's connection to the Eye and the Venatori from the get go. I guess he needed that push of knowing to never be able to return to his life in Tevinter to go along with it, but.. *sigh* poor Elio. - "I trust you." UHGGHH We were on the right track there. 😭😭 - That music AGAIN?? Chilllls!! - Nadia just casually destroying hundreds of years worth of relics. Love it. lol - "FLAME BLAST!!" Oh, this is so anime. lmaoo - Elio going from "WE'RE NOT DOING THIS" to fully enjoying beating up templars and go full criminal in a matter of seconds as soon as he sees his girl in her element. He loves her so much. <33

- "Who's the hat?" lol - That groan after the Dread Wolf name drop? Yeah, that was actually me. lmao - So, I assume this also ties in with Neve already knowing about Solas and his shenanigans in Minrathous when she met Varric in The Missing. Maybe it was this very incident that Neve was talking about? - Noooo, Vik!! 😭😭 (I knew you for like five minutes, but you made in impact. lol) - Sooo... I take it these "assassins" were actually Venatori, since they were the ones going after the Eye in the first place? Or am I stupid now? - "The eye went boom!" Love that delivery. lol - "She's trying to freeze the bay!" Yeah, Neve just DID that. What a boss. - "An elf with a fancy tongue." Oh, I know who THAT is. lmao

- "Me and you." 😭😭😭😭 You two are killing me. - That motif AGAIN. 😭😭😭😭😭 - Oh, for fuck's SAKE. Solas really always has the best flippin timing. They're all sweet and loving and here goes our disaster man "I'm about to ruin this couple's day so good." 💀💀💀 It's her BIRTHDAY, dammit!! - "Ominous looking chap in the road" lmao All I could think of there was THIS (for anyone who gets the reference LMAO)

- How is it that I knew he would appear in this episode from the teaser, and yet I still freaked out so hard. lmaoo After such a long time, it's like any second of new Solas content makes my heart skip a beat (or several). 😭😭 I still can't believe we're getting all this. 🥹

- Look, I may be a Solasmancer and have my biases, but godDAMN.. GDL is so good. HE IS SO GOOD. That Welsh accent. That rolling lilt. A voice like velvet that can be both so smooth and so sharp. There is just something about his performance that has you on the edge of your seat every time he's talking and I looove these little moments when you can so clearly hear that cheeky little smile in his voice. 💜

And it's so nice to hear him talk so calmly (well, at first at least lol) and kinda playful again, opposed to how super anxious he sounds at the beginning of Veilguard. 🥺 It's kinda interesting to compare this performance with DAI now, because now he's fully embracing the Dread Wolf role, and I keep thinking this is him after being isolated for the past ten years. ;-;

- Anway, so Nadia "unknowingly employed by the Dread Wolf" gets her pay from Richie Rich and girl, that would've been the moment to LEAVE. *sob* - "What other choice do we have?" Well, I dunno, RUN?? lmao - *chuckles* "I will demonstrate." Alright, I'm dead. Why did you say it like THAT? T_____T - Hearing Solas talk in elven after so long.. Dead again. Overkill. And yes, he's saying the exact same thing he said to Sera once. No, we don't know what it means. lol Maybe Sera IS actually an ancient magical artifact and he tried to trigger.. something. lol - That whole flippin dialogue. Solas please stop talking like an old witch trying to lure her prey into her lair. 💀 - "I do not play games." *screaming* - Honestly, I was like "NOOO WHY would you GO with himmm" but then I remembered, SHIT I WOULD FOLLOW HIM ANYWHERE. Hell, I *HAVE* followed him anywhere. To Hell and back. 💀💀💀💀💀 - Solas' persuasion game is at maximum at all times.

- "Energy is neither dark nor light." Speak for yourself, Trickster God of In Between. - "It is the Fade. The Veil is fragile here."

- Solas finally gets to answer questions again, but Nadia is rude about it. 😂 Solas slightly approves AND disapproves. lol - "Kindly remove your blade from my neck."

- Those damn Venatori at it AGAIN with their hunt for magical McGuffins. After TN and the Missing, I'm starting to believe that is all Solas did in the last ten years, snatching one deadly toy out of the their hands after another. lmao - "And it is up to me to ensure we arrive at the best possible outcome." Oh, we're so doomed. - "You're sharper than you let on." Here we go again with the backhanded compliments. lol Ohhh, how I missed it.

"Some people confuse a reckoning as an ending." "I seek... regeneration."

Holy shit. The voice. The long pause. The delivery of that last line. Shivers down my spine. It feels eerie. Like he sounds.. desperate.. and maybe a little.. insane? lmao (That's how you start to talk if you've been separated from your soulmate for ten years 💔💔💔)

Ok look, I've seen a TON of people thinking that, because of the way he says this and him using the word "reckoning" ("For a reckoning that will shake the very heavens"), this HAS to be whatever part he took of Mythal speaking now that has taken over his mind or something. But.. I don't think so? lol

I honestly think this is just Solas who, after a thousand years of preparing to "heal" the world again that he broke, even after admitting to himself that this world and its people are in fact real and he has to destroy it, is SO close to getting there now and there's NO ONE who could possibly understand him or how he truly feels or what any of this or the Blights/Titans/spirits/gods/Veil even truly ARE, so no WONDER he sounds a little f*cking unhinged. 💀💀💀

The choice of words is very interesting though.. "Regeneration" is not something he has ever used, BUT it immediately made me think of the line "But still, some hope remains for restoration" in Trespasser. This is what google tells me:

Regeneration represents a form of upgrade from restoration. If restoration means “to make something well again,” regeneration, for some authors, means “to make it better” than a (supposed) origin condition.

Regeneration: "a renewal or restoration of a body, bodily part, or biological system (such as a forest) after injury or as a normal process/ or a spiritual renewal or revival"

You know.. if I read "restoration of a bodily part or biological system", you know what's the first thing that comes to my mind yet AGAIN.

Look, that Titan's body is SPLIT IN HALF and we know that this was kinda the catalyst for everything Solas did back then, so... I'll just leave that here and listen to rest of the episode now. lmaoo

- "And the eye will make us fix that?" "More or less." dksdjjgdkfvlf THE SMILE IN HIS VOICE. What does that even MEAN? What do you MEEEAN, SIR?? I would've RUN out of that cave SO flippin FAST. - "And you're sure this is safe?" "As safe as we make it." *literally two minutes later* "SOLAS, SOMETHING IS WROOONG!!" This is a goddamn comedy show. lmaoo - "Silence, please." lol at him still being polite. - "This is all to be expected!" *five seconds later* "WE MUST FLEE!" I BUST out laughing. WHY are you such a DISASTER. Nothing EVER goes right and yet you always keep trying, you fool, omg!! - I don't think we have ever heard Solas so distressed. lol Like, not even when Wisdom died or at the beginning of Veilguard. - "Take my hand!" I would've never thought to hear THAT Trespasser line repeated under those circumstances, but here we are. lmaooo - We know Solas is a hopeless romantic, so for him to see that sweet couple torn apart because of him, and him still trying to save Nadia, I'm not ok. - Solas being responsible for Elio getting banished to the Fade and him being trapped there not long after.. Do you believe in karma? 😂 - "I'M SORRY!" WHY DOES IT ALWAYS END WITH HIM SAYING THAT. 😭

- So.. uh... what even WAS the plan, exactly? lol Like, what was supposed to happen?? Maybe they should've asked a few more questions after all. 💀 - That following scene with Nadia all alone. I got chills again. That hit different. ;-;

- "Where can I find this wolf??" Oh, she is about to hunt him down. 😶 "...I'll be back." Nadia in full Terminator mode now. 😂 - How are she and Elio connected now though? How can she hear him? 🥺 And I can't help but think about whoever was left in the Fade in DAI again, too. 😭😭😭 - Not the credits making me almost sob AGAIN because of the music. 😭 It is so so good.

So there we are. Everything went wrong, a couple is doomed and Solas is sorry. So, nothing changed. LMAO Everything as usual. 💀💀💀 Solas, I swear, if you don't get these two back together again and pay Lavellan a visit afterwards, my Rook might rethink listening to your advice in Veilguard. lmao

I can't wait for that next episode! This was so much fun and an amazing start, and I'm so excited to hear all the other companions! :D ❤️❤️❤️

[transmutationisms]

literally fucking hate seeing unsourced unverified covid claims from people whose pandemic politics i agree with in broad strokes because i don't want to be on here like doing "well ackshully" posting that's like nitpicking the few people who do still agree this is a serious public health crisis but also truly some of you are just saying shit at this point. and i think it makes sense for this to happen in a news environment dominated by manufactured consensus but it still sucks lmao. like i actually don't think you are scaring people in a productive manner that encourages public safety i think you are wildly misinterpreting complex information and making yourself look foolish to anyone who doesn't already agree with you. abysmal. im sorry that cdc information is ideologically slanted but it always has been and so are your twitter screenshots. so what now

[torchickentacos]

DREW 3 + 4 👀

From this ask game!

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

Okay, so this is kind of a double-edged sword, but he's kind of a real jackass in earlier episodes to the point that I find him more grating than anything else. Like, actually just mean-spirited for no reason a couple of times. But 1.) early episodes were the ones where they were kind of feeling out his character and that takes some figuring out, 2.) this gave him much more room to grow in later episodes, and 3.) I also kind of love it at the same time. He's so insufferable (said both affectionately and with intent to throw him out of a window).

But honestly? I don't dislike much about him as a character! That's me nitpicking. I think that if I can choose things that aren't him as a character specifically and more how he was written, I'm annoyed that they never did ANYTHING with the LaRousse City thing. Whyyyy is he from this super cool exclusive location that apparently has no bearing whatsoever on him as a person??? Canon, get back here and expand on that please!!! But again, it's not all bad because I truly ADORE reading other people's opinions on his upbringing and backstory!!! The gaps in canon are perfect for fans to fill in and I wouldn't trade that for anything. Sorry lmao- ask me a question about a negative opinion and I'll come back with several positives.

But yeah no he's kinda fucking annoying sometimes skjdnkdjfndkjfnd.

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

I think that he would THRIVE in some small-town farming sim like Stardew Valley. I think that would be his dream. That said, I would rather toss him into something that he wouldn't thrive in because it's funnier. I want to see him on a competition reality show of some sort. I've never seen Love Island but put him somewhere like that, I think he'd be trying to escape like a cat in a screened-in porch. I want to see him in a campy 80s slasher movie (he'd probably enjoy that more, honestly). Romcom musical. Put him in The Good Place just so we can see what a specifically-tailored nightmare afterlife would be for him. Just to see what happens.

I do think he'd be genuinely good at Great British Bake-Off, though. That'd be fun.

[genericpuff]

Dude…You.. are truly a mean spirited person by the way you attack Rachel and her comic. I was hoping to see actual valid criticism on this blog that are good takes and respectful…but all I see is a savage, hate-mongering being; projecting your own personal fears on fictional Greek gods, with loads of malice; accusing RS of so many things that’s not even an issue in the slightest.. like bro are we reading the same story?? Bc I’d assume you’d dislocate your shoulders from all the reaching you do, to just cherry and nitpick the comic so much; at this point I think you’re dedicating your life’s work to shitting on this comic with asinine accusations?? hell, I get the comic aint perfect but the way y’all shit on it damn near has the same level of hate you’d normally have for a fucked up, white supremacist manifesto…. have you ever sought inner peace or?? what’s the problem,,,

Your views are truly horrid and y’all are why ppl are scared to come out with their own series bc of malicious people like you getting kicks of punching down an author and mocking them instead of being more civil with your views. Probably haven’t considered creators like RS with ADHD have RSD too huh… maybe haven’t considered how ppl with RSD got symptoms where it’s pretty difficult to take criticism…lmao.. aaaaand yet you antis are just as barbaric as obsessive LO stans and y’all just won’t leave well alone smfdh

Heaven help you fr. Hope you cease your obsessive hate for a fictional story and seek actual help than pouring all this hate on a book and pointing fingers at issues that’s nonexistent in the series.😒

Ooh yay it's been a while since I've gotten an ask calling me out. Love to see it :3

So here's the fun thing - I do have way less "spicy" takes on the comic (because let's face it, the definition of "valid" in this context is often... very subjective, I've seen people call the most respectful criticisms and reviews of LO "hate" plenty of times before) but I also just enjoy dunking on it because it's fun and it's how I engage with this comic that, believe it or not, I did genuinely used to love. I don't talk this much shit about comics I've never cared about. Boyfriends and Let's Play are also both godawful but I never loved them quite as much as I loved LO back when I used to read it religiously, so I just don't feel like talking about them as much as I do LO. Saturday nights used to be my favorite night of the week but they became dreadful after a while as my love for the series' drained relative to its decline. Now I have to find other things to look forward to on Saturdays, so I've gone ahead and made my own things, things that have rejuvenated the feelings I used to feel reading LO.

Here's another fun fact, in case you're new to Tumblr and don't know how it works - this is just my account that's dedicated solely to LO stuff. There are other things that I do besides shit-talking this comic and using it as fuel to create my own interpretations of it, but you don't see that here because this blog is, again, purely for my LO related stuff. I also have a day job that's completely unrelated to webcomics, and draw webcomics that aren't related to LO. I spent like.... 6 hours playing Slime Rancher today. I know it doesn't look like I have a life outside of this when you sift through my anti-LO-themed blog of queued posts all in one go, but I do lmao

Sorry I don't have a more satisfying response than "it's fun!" I have a great time in this community, everyone in it has been genuinely sweet and caring and accepting. Many of the people in this community are genuine friends now, who I go to for things outside of LO, from comic discussion to real life talk.

You know which community doesn't make me feel safe or welcome? The core LO community that's come at me in my inbox, snuck into our fan groups to spy, and even outright made bots to breach our privacy. As soon as I had even the slightest bit of criticism for the comic, back during the trial arc, they decided I wasn't "one of them" and I realized I was terrified of being an "anti" because I knew how anti's were treated by the community. I had to find ways to accept my own feelings as they were changing and having the antiLO/UnpopularLO community accept me the way they did... really changed my perspective on the whole "fandom" thing. I can take part in both sides in the anti/unpopular community - praise and criticism. Maybe consider for a second the only reason the criticism is so loud... has to do with the fact the comic itself isn't worth praising anymore.

All that aside, it's fine if you don't like my takes or don't agree with how I choose to spend my time! There are both better and even worse takes out there from other people just as pissed as I am about the turn LO has taken. None of those people, myself included, do what we do to "make" others hate the comic or hate on Rachel. None of us are encouraging outright bullying directly at Rachel, we're literally just curating our own space for discussion and memes and art and writing surrounding this dumb little comic that many of us did find enjoyment in back when it first started. And I don't think any of us are saying that because we don't like this comic, that means we're gonna automatically trash on anyone else's just for existing? Because, again, none of us encourage direct bullying, and if anything, all these accounts have inspired more people to take up comic creating through AU and fanfic content of the source material that they wish could have been better. If anyone's legitimately "scared" to go into webcomics because of a few strangers' opinions on the Internet about a massive commercial comic that's completely unrelated to their own work and far above what most creators will ever make... well, I don't know how to fix that or help with that. Maybe apply your own advice that you're giving me in your ask and stop caring so much? I'm just a person engaging in one of their many hyperfixations on the Internet and there are others who happen to share in my interests and enjoy my takes, whether or not that includes the saltier ones. There's nothing special enough about me to warrant any sort of finger-pointing like what you're doing. I'm not a monolith nor am I the end-all-be-all to webcomic creation or discussion lmao

It's honorable you want to defend Rachel, or people with ADHD/RSD. I can't shame you for that. But coming onto my blog that's themed around antiLO/unpopularLO content and doing the same thing you're claiming I'm doing (which I'm not because again, it's not like I'm going directly at Rachel with any of the things I say or do and I would never encourage anyone else do that either lol) is a little... hypocritical, don't you think?

But - sass time - what do I know. I'm just someone who's also ADHD. Autistic with RSD too! Guess we'll just have to agree to disagree, as none of us can speak on behalf of the entire neurodivergent community.

Appreciate the crit though, thank you for taking the time to write <3 Sorry to hear my blog didn't turn out to be what you expected but... I don't recall ever setting those expectations in the first place. At least not when I started. Now that Rekindled's a thing I suppose people aren't gonna expect blatant trashing when they find it but that's why I'm also trying to move away from purely trashing on LO so that I can put my time and energy into more productive stuff (even if that "productive stuff" is making a comic that started as an LO-spite project LOL)

But at the same time... I mean, is it really that surprising? Like I guess this can serve as a general "heads up" to anyone else who's new here, but I do not go easy on LO and have a lot to say about it (and I'm very loud and disgruntled about it) but I figured most people would realize that's the amount of spite needed to redraw the whole thing as I'm doing right now LMAO Like c'mon, you think someone who only dislikes LO mildly would really put in all this work? 🤣 I do it because I can't stand to see where it's gone, and I want to give myself and others who were disappointed alongside me the closure we all deserve. Trying my best, at least (～￣▽￣)～

That's all for now! Have a good one :' )

[stxrliasfics]

Catharsis - Jamie Campbell Bower Smut

Pairing: rockstar gn!reader x jamie (enemies to lovers kinda sorta ???)

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 5.3k

(just now realizing i never explained: D/N stands for “Drummer’s name” and B/N stands for “Bassist’s name” sorry just in case you were confused LMAO)

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

A/N: I have returned from hiatus with something new!!! To start off the new year, I present to you this wonderful masterpiece that was really intended for my two beautiful friends (they're big Jamie enthusiasts!)

Some say it’s better to keep your friends close and your enemies closer. That was utter bullshit to you. And maybe you were too callow to seemingly miss the meaning, but if your enemies were burning alive right in front of you, you wouldn’t even piss on the fire to put them out. Especially if it were Jamie Bower.

You’ve known him since you joined your band, replacing the former lead guitarist. There was limited interaction between you two from the start. 5 years since then and there has still never been a praising comment from him. It was always constant nitpicking at your solos or the way you played your parts entirely. He didn’t want to cooperate with you at all. You’ve come to realize that.

“You two need to get it together,” said your bandmate, D/N. The morning had started off just fine at rehearsal until Jamie was yelling about you continuously missing a note. “We have two more days until we play this fucking show and you’re acting like babies.”

Jamie glared your way as if the message was really intended for you. As if YOU were the problem. You glared right back at him, mentally boring holes into his skull with your bandmates in the crossfire of tension.

He took the strap of his guitar off his shoulders, threw the instrument down, and muttered something as he stomped off stage.

“Dick,” you called. The sound engineers came running with their clipboards and exasperated looks on their faces. 

“Can someone go after him? We’ve barely made it through set,” One of them argued — a burly bald guy with a prominent Yorkshire accent. D/N hurried off the stage in pursuit of Jamie. You turned the volume off on your guitar, set it by the wall of amps, and sat down on a stool. Truly at a loss, you didn’t know which direction to take. You didn’t want to stay somewhere you weren’t welcome. Five years was long enough — but you couldn’t just give up that easily. You didn’t want to be seen as weak, you didn’t want to sulk around anymore and hope to gain the approval of someone so cruel. So you got up and turned your guitar back up. 

When D/N came back with no Jamie in sight, relieving air filled your lungs. Your body relaxed. 

“Come on, we’ve got a show to play, yeah?” You put your guitar strap back over your shoulder. 

“But Jamie—,” B/N started.

“He ran off somewhere,” said D/N. “Got in his car and drove off.”

“We can practice without him,” you said, turning to the sound engineers. “Go on. We’re ready.”

The last few days of rehearsal surprisingly went by with no problems. There was a “Hurry up and get it done” frame of mind settling into everyone, so there was no time for Jamie to start throwing a tantrum. Neither of you two looked at each other for those last few days. You focused your energy more on your excitement for the big day as you stared out into the stadium, imagining all of the bright faces drunk on echoing notes ringing their ears. Everything was good until the show on Thursday.

For more content catered to the fans, you thought it would be a good idea to strap a tiny camera to your forehead, showing a different point of view of your playing. The headband that held the camera was unbearable. So much so that you could feel the elastic digging into your skin, itching below your hairline. Refraining from clawing at your skin, you kept your focus on your fingers dancing on the fretboard and the stinging in your muscles.

During the last song of the night, the last hurrah for the closing show, your eyes closed briefly and your body was thrown into the shockwave of the moment. When they opened, smoke carried off your vision and everything felt lighter. Before you knew it, you were flying above clouds of hands carrying you away. The exhilaration pumping cold through your veins, you lost awareness until you were brought back to the forefront. Every piece of you…except for the camera.

“Fuck, fuck, FUCK!” Jamie’s yells could’ve been heard all throughout backstage as he stormed after you, face red with anger. The show was done and everyone was starting to pour out.  

You whipped around at him. “It was an accident!” The elastic strap was still itching the skin of your forehead. 

“Hey, chill out,” said B/N, stepping in the middle with outstretched arms to hold you two apart. Jamie smacked their hand away.

“The camera. They lost the camera!” he was still glaring at you, harder than ever before. 

“It was an accident! We can get it back.”

At this point, Jamie had stepped away from the boundary B/N placed and was getting closer to you. Hell’s blaze burned bright in his eyes. “It wouldn’t have gotten lost anyway if you weren’t being such a dumbass.” 

“Get out of my face,” your voice dropped low and your eyes hardened. He took some steps back, jaw still clenched, and urged out his last word as always.

“You are the most useless thing that’s ever happened to this band.” 

You watched him edge back out to the stage where fans cheered on his return. Your bandmates surrounded you with somber expressions, yet avoided the crossfire. 

Apparently, the camera was found, but no one had told you that. When you arrived back to your flat the next morning, you had closed yourself up in your bedroom and slept the pooling anxiety away. Jamie’s words hit right at your pride. Useless rung in your ears to the beat of his tone. And you were really starting to believe that, but there was no way you were letting this continue on any further. Screw Jamie. Screw the band. You were out.

The biting wind of mid-November had come in for another time. Streets were covered in cold rain — normality for England. It had been raining nonstop for a few weeks. Cleary skies seemed rare. Your days lazing around the house were all the more dreary. With your band on a short break, you were left to dwell in your bed. Your final thoughts forced you to make a stomach-churning move — a compulsive decision that could possibly break the bridges. 

You were going to talk to Jamie. 

The night before, you were pacing the room with your phone in your hand. Every thought that bubbled up into a word didn’t make sense. Every sentence frayed into a mere memory. It would’ve been difficult to get up with him, considering that you two weren’t really on speaking terms. He did reply to your message hours later. With a thumbs up emoji. You started to get irritated but a thumbs up was better than no response at all. 

You planned to meet up at a cafe near your flat that morning. It was still rainy, so you made sure to grab an umbrella. You rehearsed everything that you were going to say over in your head, silently mouthing it to yourself as you reached the place. Jamie hadn’t arrived yet. There was no sign of his light blonde hair given. You ordered a small coffee to hold your patience in the meantime. 

Heat transferred from the paper cup, warming your frostbitten hands. If it weren’t for all the eyes around you, you would’ve used it to warm your face as well. Possibly fans trying to scope out. Their eyes left you as soon as the cafe’s door jingled and Jamie walked in. 

His hair was tied up and he was wearing all black. Standard Jamie attire. Further more, this made him recognizable amongst the teen fans gawking at you two. You could see his hardened demeanor although he tried to be stoic. When he sat down in front of you, your throat had dried up and everything you wanted to say flew south. You went bitch. 

“Hi, Jamie,” was all that could come out. It didn’t even sound like you. All shaky and weak. Sometimes confrontation wasn’t your strongest suit. It didn’t help that you couldn’t see his eyes. Was he looking at you or behind you? 

“About the camera,” you tried your best not to stutter. “I’m sorry for being ignorant about it.

A short exhale meant to be sarcastic laughter escaped from Jamie. His face stayed blank. 

“You’re not going to say anything?” you poked on. 

“What do you want me to say?” his voice was foreign. Softer than what you were used to but still housed a cold undertone. 

“The way that you’ve been treating me lately. I’d like an explanation for it.” 

He looked out of the window with his arms crossed on the table, not saying a word.      

“What’s your problem with me, mate? I work my ass off and you act like I do nothing. If the camera thing was the last straw then once again, I apologize. I seriously didn’t mean to do it.” 

He looked from the window to the table, watching it in a few seconds of silence. The whole time you watched and waited.  

“I don’t have a problem with you,” he said. Thinking you had imagined it, you eyed him in confusion. 

“You wouldn’t just shit on me for nothing, then.”

He only gave you a shrug. You probed further. 

“What is it? What do I need to change for you to like me?” you hissed. “What’s your problem with me?—” 

“Excuse me. We’re big fans of your music,” Two girls who looked like they were no older than 15 came up to your table. “Could we please have a picture?” 

“I’m so sorry, we’re in the middle of a private meeting,” you apologized. The girls frowned and issued profuse apologies for interrupting you two before Jamie butted in. 

“We can give you our autographs if you have something for us to sign, though!” 

Once again you had to do a double take as Jamie was now smiling. He sounded so sweet. Of course, that was the mask always on display for anyone outside of the band. He held a genuine smile when talking to the girls, taking in every word they said to him. When the girls left, however, he returned to his normal self. You wondered how he made it seem so genuine. Maybe he wasn’t just faking it with them. 

“So?” you said. He turned back to you. 

“So?” he said. That nonchalant tone of voice irked the hell out of you. He didn’t care. Was he even listening to you? 

“I want an explanation. An apology. Something!”

Jamie shrugged again. It took all your might not to smack the shit out of him right then and there. 

“Fine,” Gritting your teeth in uproaring anger, you began to sit up with your still full coffee in hand. “I’m out of the band.” 

You pushed the door to the cafe open, holding back the hard lump in your throat and trying to take a deep breath before it all went out. You had let it all go. Everything you worked hard for. You regretted it, but it didn’t matter. You could get anywhere on your own. Fuck everything. 

Ever since that day at the cafe, there had been no contact between you or anyone from the band. Radio silence. It wasn’t until one Saturday evening that B/N called about a party. You had no plans to go out. Still, it wouldn’t have hurt to show your face. You were sure your bandmates hadn’t known about your self-dismissal. 

You got ready at 9:00, 15 minutes before you were to meet up with them. Silently, you hoped that a certain someone wouldn’t be there. Really, you didn’t want to face anyone right now. Something about it was too embarrassing. 

All of your friends were meeting up at a nightclub. Big and fancy, it was. One of the biggest in the city, perhaps. Only high-profiled people filled it up. Your band had played here before. 

It was one of the club's usual busy nights. Anything that you could think of went down here. It was a chance for everyone to go buck wild and let loose for one night before they got up in the morning with a bottle of aspirin and an unkempt tie. For these to be important people in the industry, you’d think they’d be more civilized. Then again, you thought of what industry you were apart of. Yeah. A band manager snorting coke off of a pornstar’s chest wasn’t surprising. 

Through sweaty bodies and seizure-inducing lights, you couldn’t see your bandmates at all. You dialed B/N’s number and hoped that they would be able to hear you over the thumping music. During which, some drunk asshole had bumped into you rather harshly, nearly knocking your phone out of your hand. You gave the guy a side-eye and held the phone up to your ear. 

“Hey,” B/N’s voice came through the speaker after the second dial tone. “You on your way?”

“Yeah, I’m here,” you yelled over the music. “Where are you?” 

“V.I.P. room. It’s at the back,” they said. “Fair warning, though—”

“What?!” you covered one ear with your index finger to try and hear better. 

“I’ll just tell you when you come over. I’ll be waiting outside of the curtain.”

Their voice was replaced by the beep of the call ending. You huffed out a sigh of annoyance, still pushing past a bunch of people. You finally saw the V.I.P. lounge and B/N where they said they would be. They waved you over.

“Hey,” you said. This area of the club was quieter since there weren’t any speakers nearby.

B/N looked to be on their toes. You couldn’t put your finger on it. It was like they wanted to tell you something but it wouldn’t get past their lips. 

“What’s up?” you spoke again. 

“Jamie’s in there,” they said lowly. As soon as those words left their mouth, the purple curtain shielding the V.I.P. lounge drew back. Your eyes shifted to an emerging Jamie holding a giggling person's hand. He didn’t look up at you. Neither of them did. You rolled your eyes. 

“So?” B/N said. 

“So,” you shrugged. “I’m not going to let that ruin my night.” 

Again, you tried to seem nonchalant. In truth, WANTED a reaction. Just a simple glance would do. You wanted to be seen. Maybe just to shoot him an even meaner look than what he would’ve given you. And you knew that he had seen you. Why wasn’t he saying anything? No thoughts on the meeting from a few weeks ago at all? 

To further prove your point that you didn’t care (and why would you?), you wasted the night away by downing drinks. Not too many, but enough to get you a little buzzed so that you could take on the rest of what the night would bring. You sat in your invisible bubble at the bar, contemplating exactly why you would care. Why it was so important to get Jamie’s attention. You downed a shot of your drink. It fired up your insides in a quick flash, starting from the tip of your ears and down. There was no use in thinking about this. What more could you do? 

Floating into your absent land, the smell of spicy cologne filled your nose. You felt someone lean into you from the side and whisper in your ear.

“I need to talk to you,” the voice said. You turned to see it was Jamie. Shadows danced in his piercing eyes, the same way they did whenever he was trying to be intimidating.

“What do you want?” you said in a monotone.  

“Please. I’ll be quick.” 

The two of you disappeared to the upstairs lounge in the club. There was a bar up here too, occupied by people having more civilized and controlled conversations. You ambled over to the black couches nearby and took a seat, Jamie sitting beside you. You stayed in awkward silence for what seemed like forever. From beside you, the man was engaged in thought, trying to find something to say. He had his hands clasped as if he were saying a prayer and held it close to his mouth. 

I don’t have all day, you mused. His sigh filled your thoughts.

“I’m sorry,” he started off. He wasn’t looking at you. His eyes were trained on the floor. 

You waited for more, then said, “How do I know you mean it?” 

“No, I do. I really do mean it.” 

“You still haven’t answered my question,” you said, looking at him. “Remember?” 

“I don’t hate you,” he replied. Not at all.” 

There was a flash of amusement on your face. That was the only emotion you could find.

With another sigh, he repeated like a broken record, “I don’t hate you, Y/N. Quite the opposite.”

You quirked a brow as if to tell him to go on. He wanted to. His lips were moving as if grasping for something in the air and pulling it to his cords. 

“I-I don’t know,” his voice went low.  

“You know what, you’re a dickhead,” you took another sip of the sharp tequila. “Good job. Good fucking job.” 

“On what?”

“You’re just…so hard to figure out. I don’t get you.”

“I didn’t mean what I said that night. When I said you were useless to the band and all that. That’s not true at all.” 

A satisfied grin was urging on your lips as you had gotten what you wanted. You hid it with the rim of your cup. Down went the last drop and you set the cup down. 

“I admire you, Y/N,” he went on. “A lot, actually.” 

“So what’s up with you being a dick to me then?”

“I guess…I’m jealous of you.”

The way his words edged out so hesitantly, you didn’t believe it. Because why in the world would Jamie Bower be jealous of you? But his demeanor, the softness in his body language — if he were playing a joke on you, he did a damn good job at acting. 

“Oh, bullshit,” you said dismissively. 

“You’re an amazing guitarist, and you're the most poetic person I've ever met,” he rattled on. “You're everything I want to be and I just...hate that I'm not, I guess. You’re the backbone of our band." 

Really looking at him this time, you could tell he meant it. There was sincerity hidden in that black heart of his. You never thought you’d see the day. There was no room in you to take this in. 

You stammered, “I—uh—got to get going.” 

Jamie shot up from the chair when you did and trailed after you. “Wait, Y/N. You’ve had too much to drink,” he said. “Let me take you home.”

“No, I’m fine.” you waved him off and walked back downstairs. The beating music in the main part of the club filled your ears once more, pounding a headache into your head. You wanted tonight to be a brain fog in the morning. One that you couldn’t remember for a long time. You couldn’t tell if it was embarrassment or if it was the praise you always wanted getting to you. Your face was hot and flushed from being flustered as you ran out of the doors. You could sense that he was still following you. His presence loomed over like a shadow. 

“Y/N,” you heard him call, proving your suspicion right.

“I’m calling a taxi,” you said, searching your coat pockets for your phone. 

“Listen to me. I meant what I said back there. I really, really admire you.” 

“That doesn’t just take away the constant hell you’ve been putting me through this whole time,” you argued. “What? Out of envy? Get fucked.” your fingers typed aggressively on the keypads. 

“Y/N,” you felt him grab your shoulder and spin around. Your legs turned to jelly from the sudden touch. You hated that. Jamie was so close you could feel nearly every fiber of him. Smoke from the cold night air escaped past his parted lips. “I’m so, so, sorry. Please, if I have to get down on my knees just to keep you in the band then I will. I’m sorry for being so shitty.” 

Too nervous to meet his eyes again, you looked to the concrete. Your heart was racing so much, fluttering butterflies trapped in your throat. 

“Let me take you home,” he said again. “Please?”

“What happened to your friend from earlier?” you said. The image of them holding hands flashed in your mind.

“Someone to fill up space, I guess,” he muttered. Both of his hands were placed on your shoulders, forcing you to look at him. There was a sense of sudden gravitation towards this man. Something that was so unfamiliar you were questioning yourself. Could you still hate him even after this? 

“You really are something, Bower.” your whisper was carried by midnight’s wind. 

It was like the space between you was getting tighter. Your eyes traveled to his lips which were half covered by the lights of the nightclub. You didn’t get any closer but paid attention to the way his soft lips moved as he spoke.

“Will you let me take you home?” 

You nodded. “I’ll just tell B/N that I went with you then.”

For the first week of the new month, you distracted yourself with music. Your bandmates still knew nothing of you quitting, as far as you knew. Your mind was still consumed with Jamie Bower and that night at the club. How quiet and frail the air seemed during that car ride. How his goodnight made you burn up more than the tequila you were drinking. Everything you did to ignore it didn’t work. You guessed that it could’ve been some obsessive type of thing. What other explanation was there?

Currently, you were stationed at your desk, scribbling down lyrics and humming along to match them. Nothing would work along with these words. You kept scribbling and erasing, scribbling and erasing; until finally, you cracked and threw your pencil at the wall. 

You forced yourself out of the chair to go to the fridge. The only thing that could put an end to this madness right now was a bottle of good ‘ole Jack, which you happened to have. Call you careless for drinking so early in the morning, you didn’t give a shit. It was nice and ice cold. Mind-numbing enough to delete whatever it was you tried to explain to yourself. 

You slumped down on the couch, watching some talk show when a knock came at your door. You were too lazy to get up and hoped that it was for someone next door. 

The knock came again and you grumbled. “Come in!” you shouted.

“It’s locked,” a voice said from behind the door. It seemed you had no other choice. You got up from the couch, annoyed. And much to your dismay upon opening the door, Jamie was there. 

“Oh,” you said. 

“Can I come in?” he said. He was wearing a black top and a pair of skinny jeans. Sunglasses adorned the top of his head. You nearly dropped the bottle.

“Uh—yeah—sure.”

You stepped aside to let him in, cursing yourself inwardly for somehow manifesting this. How lucky it was to have him show up on the day of your self-concentration. 

“I came to check on you,” he then said, answering a question that was just forming in your brain. Was he reading your mind or something? “I hadn’t heard from you in awhile.” 

“I’m fine,” you plopped back down on the couch and felt it dip when Jamie sat beside you. 

“You told me that you’d call the day after and you never did.” 

“Forgot,” you muttered, taking a sip of your drink. 

“Jesus, Y/N, it’s only 9 in the morning.” 

“Don’t pretend like you care.” 

“I do. Or else I wouldn’t have come here.” his cold and calloused fingertips grazed the hand that held the bottle of your ease over and over. You had a faint realization that it would slip out of your grasp, but it didn’t. Something else had caught it while you were under Jamie’s hypnosis. He had the bottle in his hand. You watched him set it down on the coffee table in front of you. 

“I still don’t know if I trust you,” you said, half-jokingly. 

A small smile formed on his lips when he turned to you. “I understand. I only hope to earn it as time goes on.”  

You sensed your lips tugging on to a smile as well and bit the inside of your cheek to hide it. 

“You know I do care,” he said, almost in a whisper. He was closer to you now. Like magnets, you were pulled to each other; pulling to the ecstasy that lay in this tension. Only then when your noses were touching, you realized what you were doing. But in his warmth, nothing else mattered. You thought all of the butterflies would be washed away under sweet oak whiskey only to find them return at his touch. Maybe this was a form of trust. 

“I’m sorry,” Jamie pulled away immediately. “I’m so sorry.” 

“No, don’t,” you said, grabbing his face with both hands to hold on to this last moment. You didn’t want it to end here. Not with how good everything felt in this moment. Your heart was skipping beats. You thought you would go into cardiac arrest. Your whole world was engulfed in Jamie. 

When he pulled away a second time, you both were panting for air. He rested his forehead on yours, eyes clouded with hazing lust. You thought they looked beautiful.

“Y/N, I have to be honest,” he said in between the sound of your soft pants. “I want you. If you’ll let me—” 

Your lips collided again as your hands roamed his body. You could smell the tobacco leaves protruding from him, getting drunk off of this scent alone. You moaned softly into the kiss. 

It felt like your entire being was pulsating, waiting for this magical moment. Jamie had to have felt the same too. He looked as if he could lose it at any moment. 

“Do you want to stay here or go to the bedroom?” you asked. “There’s more room.” 

“Whatever you want,”  he replied and started to trail pecks down your neck. You moaned, biting your bottom lip. 

“Let’s go then.”

Jamie followed behind you like a lost little puppy as you carried him upstairs by the arm. Once the two of you were inside your bedroom he spun you around and picked you up, placing you on the bed. You giggled as he climbed on top of you. 

“I don’t have a condom,” he muttered into your neck. 

You reached over to your nightstand and opened the drawer, pulling out a blue box of latex condoms and a bottle of lube, throwing it over to him. He snorted a laugh, picking up both. 

“Why do you have these?” 

“Just in case, you know,” you shrugged and watched him examine them. “Hurry up. You’ve already got me riled up.” 

Jamie chuckled. “I have to admit, I’m a bit jealous.” 

“Awe, someone’s jealous?” you slid your hands under his shirt, contacting the warm skin and bones underneath. You felt him shudder. Perhaps because your hands were freezing cold. 

“Very,” his hands traveled to your thighs. “Can’t have anyone else touching you.” 

“Already possessive, are we?” you helped him lift his shirt over his head, throwing it to the floor. Both of your clothes had been discarded, stored away in the confines of your worlds with the least worries. 

Once you two were prepped, you took advantage by wrestling him to the sheets and climbing on his lap. Seeing him in such a vulnerable state shook you all around. His nails grazed your thighs, leaving faint and temporary red marks. Soft gasps came from your lips as you sunk down on his cock. The feeling of it twitching inside drove you even madder, your heat quivering around it. You began moving your hips with Jamie's eyes holding you. His hands gripped your hips. You moved faster and faster, moaning at the immense pleasure in your core.   

“Jesus, Y/N,” he groaned, admiring the view of your sweaty body. Every thump inside sent you into overdrive. It was like a fire had started in your body, carrying off from your chest down to your toes. Your hands grasped at his pecs. You leaned down, breathless, bouncing on his thick cock as if your life depended on it. His punched-out moans vibrated your eardrums.   

“That feel good?” you gloated with a smile. 

“Fuck yeah,” was all he could muster. You began marking his neck with hickeys, sucking and biting while you drove his soul out, letting out a pleased hum when you found your spot. “You gonna come?” he says, deep voice penetrating your ears. You moaned again, digging your nails into his pecs. Your body shuddered as your orgasm hit. Jamie held you tighter. You never thought you’d be this close before. 

You didn’t stop moving your hips, wading through the aftershocks and overstimulation with tightened eyes. Not long after, Jamie had come too, letting out a relieved sigh as he spilled into the condom. You thought it to be twisted how you wanted to feel every bit of it. Greedy, almost. How you wanted to just get rid of this god-forsaken barrier and feel ALL of him. It wasn’t nearly as good as having it drip out of you. 

A small gasp left your throat at the loss of heat when he slipped out. But he was still hanging on to you as he sat up, edging his tongue in your mouth one last time. 

You broke away from him, saying, “I can’t believe we just did that.” 

“Me neither,” he replied. “That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy it, though.” 

You scooted away from him and watched as he removed the condom, throwing it in the bin and grabbing his clothes. A frown was about to slip on your face, realizing it was all over.  

Jamie must’ve noticed when he glanced at you. It took him no time to slip his clothes back on. 

“Why the long face?” he said, sitting down beside you on the messy sheets. 

“Nothing,” you gave him a thin smile. “Just…where exactly do we go from here?” 

“Well, I don’t want to stop talking to you or anything.”

“I don’t either. It just feels weird.”

Jamie’s brows furrowed. “Weird?” The look made you a bit nervous. 

“Not like a bad weird,” you explained quickly, laughing. “I mean, we’ve never been on the best of terms, Jamie. We just fucked.” 

“True,” he smiled. “I do hope that this…situation doesn’t affect us. I want us to be on good terms. Not just as bandmates, you know?” 

“Of course.” 

He pecked you on the cheek and stood up. “Gotta get going,” he said. “We’re heading to the studio today. Do you want to come?”

“Don’t know if I can,” you chuckled. 

“I never told them you left. Don’t worry. Your spot’s always open.”  

The two of you said your final goodbyes that day. It was like nothing had ever happened. You were left with nothing but a ghost of your time. Crawling up into your bubble again, you wondered just how much more confusing Jamie Bower could get from here. It wasn’t very fun when you were still figuring him out.

[ravenalla]

Welp. Mando finale thoughts.

Y’ALL IM DYING I WAS RIGHT WE ACTUALLY DID NOT GET HELMETLESS DIN 😂😂 what a fucking joke. Literally it’s like the writing this season has expected you to have the attention span of a five year old, debriefing room? Nah mate that was last episode forget it. This show won’t keep a plotline going to save its life. Sigh. At least Din escaped by his own with the help of Grogu instead of Bo coming to rescue him like a damsel in distress again. His fight scenes were really cool and we got to see the most he’s interacted with Grogu out of the whole season.

The Moff Gideon clone thing makes sense I guess but it kinda just came out of nowhere? Like his epic showdown speech was all about Din destroying the clones when it happened like 5 minutes ago, why didn’t you have any security for that anyways lmao. This is probably just a nitpick but it’s a weird thing to introduce at the last second and have it be his big motivator. Also I was just imagining how much more cool it would be if the darksaber was being wielded by Din in that fight, truly the marketing meant absolute nothing. But hey now it’s gone forever so doesn’t even matter who tf cares anymore there yayyyyyy 🙄 At least Bo Katan would actually have to prove that she’s a worthy leader not just based on fucking sword ownership, which realistically she’d 100% get them all screwed again if she wasnt written as a different person all season lol.

No one was the spy. Kinda glad because I didn’t want the Armorer to be evil but idk why the fuck they named a whole episode that then. Flying scenes were also neat at least.

NO DINBO AND HE DIDNT STAY WITH HER AT THE END LETS GOOOO!!! and FINALLY a father son confession, though I’m sorry Din Grogu? Is that a Mandalorian cultural practice established? Why wouldn’t it be Grogu Djarin tf? 😭 that’s gonna take some getting use to because what. Also come on why didn’t you make Din say he’s his son to the New Republic Officer at the end that would have been the perfect transition from this apprentice nonsense after adopting him. Speaking of, please don’t tell me they are making Din a cop. I know it’s an independent contract to just hunt down imperials not much different than his bounty work but it’s getting dangerously close to cop levels for me.

I will say, after going through all that, I’m at the very least happy we got an ending that can merge into Din and Grogu actually being the focus as a family and going on adventures again. These writers still have lost all my trust and I’m not looking forward to more, but it’s better than any alternatives we could have gotten.

Overall, not a god awful finale, but not a great one either. Lots of missed opportunities, but dodged a couple of bullets we were all worried about.

[the-invisible-queer]

I feel like this is gonna make me sound both like a know-it-all nitpicking you and an insane weirdo who was way too invested in the relationship of two teenagers I don't know but. As someone who literally hyperfixated on both Nick and Miley for basically all of my formative years, and as a result just permanently has an encyclopedia's worth of useless information about their teenage selves stored in my brain even though both fixations died off years ago and I barely pay attention to either of them now, some parts of your post about them are simply killing me and I HAVE to correct and expand on it or I'll explode lol, I'm sorry it's nothing personal:

Kevin misspoke in the doc; the Hannah Montana episode wasn't when they met, they were already dating by then. They met at a charity event on June 11, 2006 according to Miley's book, with Nick also eventually calling June 11 their anniversary in Wedding Bells. IIRC Miley said in the book that Hannah Montana had only been airing for a few months when they met and the boys hadn't really done much of anything with Disney yet, which would definitely indicate emotions happening before any publicity did.

(There's also a very funny/interesting/wtf piece of lore re: this date from yearrrrrs later where Miley either mixed up the dates herself or tried to retcon her own life and gaslight everyone about public information by claiming on Twitter that June 11 was her anniversary with Liam, then deleted it, then announced her divorce very shortly after. That's not really directly related to anything we're discussing here but it was such a bizarre thing to watch happen in real time that it almost dragged me back into the fixation again as a grown ass adult, so I felt compelled to bring it up anyway lmao.)

A LOT of the og Niley Lore came from Miles to Go, where Miley dedicated an entire chapter to Nick (called "Prince Charming" in the book) and their relationship. I don't remember every detail anymore but she definitely said they clicked instantly, became boyfriend and girlfriend the day they met, and stayed up talking on the phone until like 4 a.m. that night, all of which backs up what Kevin said about love at first sight. She also explicitly said in the book that they truly loved each other and had a serious relationship despite how young they were.

A lotttttt of JB songs, especially but not exclusively the ones from the mid-to-late 2000s, are thought to be about Miley and some are very obvious if you know The Lore, but the only ones I know were ever explicitly confirmed besides the ones you mentioned are Sorry, Can't Have You and, of course, Before the Storm. The "hugs are overrated" part of SOS is sometimes thought to be a reference to the day they met, where according to Miley's book he tried to shake her hand and she told him she only did hugs, but I've always assumed that was probably just a coincidence since it seems like logistically it must have been written before they broke up and that would be a weirdly snarky line to write about your current girlfriend. Burnin' Up is also very very heavily thought to have been inspired by Miley, specifically by her look at the 2007 AMAs, which you can Google if you're interested enough; I do believe this one, which makes Selena's appearance in that specific music video much, much funnier.

Essentially all of Miley's earlier Miley songs (as opposed to Hannah ones) are also either confirmed or commonly thought to be about Nick. Also possibly of note is that some of Demi's early songs are also rumored to have a lot of Miley inspiration in them due to Nick co-writing them, which is simply amusing to me, especially considering the chances that at least one song probably ended up being partially about Nick's ex and partially about his brother. I never fixated on Demi or her music as hard as I did on these two though, so I no longer remember which specific songs were implicated here.

Nick confirmed Wedding Bells in his 'answering Google's most searched questions' video, where you could tell even he was thinking "who tf else did y'all think that one could have been about" lmao.

The messy little ping pong game Nick played between Miley and Selena for a while was definitely confirmed; I don't remember if any of them ever explicitly acknowledged it (outside of lyrics like "you love me, you like her" from 7 Things which...damn girl scalp him again), but to me and the other hyperfixated kids following along at the time, the dates alone made it obvious lol. He first got with Selena after the first time he and Miley broke up and then repeated that exact pattern at least two more times over the next few years, rarely being single for any significant length of time at all in between. Baby fuckboi behavior.

In conclusion, both of them have been pretty clear and consistent over the years that the emotions of it all came first and were very real, even if Disney may have capitalized on those emotions for publicity purposes. My specific examples are fuzzy since the fixations were dead by then but I know both of them have described the other as their first love and first heartbreak well into adulthood, including as recently as I think last year for Miley (where she revealed that the first time they broke up she asked if she could give him a hug goodbye and he said no, which is lowkey hilarious even though it makes baby Nick sound like a douche - although knowing his sensitive ass he was probably just afraid he'd start sobbing or something if she hugged him lol).

The only non-Niley piece of input I have to add is that in recent years Miley has definitely expressed negative and complicated emotions about starting her career so young, not in the sense that she didn't actually want it at the time but in the sense that like...children often want to do things that wouldn't be good for them or that they aren't capable of fully understanding the ramifications of, but that doesn't mean their parents should allow them to do those things or that they'll appreciate having been allowed to do those things when they look back as an adult. I don't know a ton about her feelings on it since again, I don't actively follow her anymore and only really see what comes across my feed, but it seems like it was definitely much more complicated than "her dad sold her to Disney Channel" or "she wasn't forced into it so it was fine." For the record I've often wondered if any of the Jonas boys have similar emotions about their young stardom, as most child stars seem to to some degree, but honestly feel like if they do we'll never ever hear about it; they just don't give me the vibe that they'd ever be comfortable talking about that publicly, especially if it involves any complex feelings towards their parents, who they seem to have much closer and healthier relationships with than Miley has with hers.

OKAY I'M DONE sorry that was a whole novel you didn't ask for but I literally have had all these stupid factoids about these two strangers just bouncing around in my head for like almost twenty years and almost never get the chance to put this wealth of knowledge to "use" anywhere, so on the rare occasions I can vomit all this up I kind of get carried away lmao whoops

BESTIE NEVER APOLOGIZE! Especially not when it comes to rambling about fixations. My blog is a safe space!

Though I wish you could add cuts in asks because RIP to everyone's dash I'll try to add tags so people with long posts blocked can ignore.

I'll be the first one to admit my fuck up with Jonas lore. Deadass don't remember anything Miley wrote in her book about Nick and I read Miles to Go twice but I have the memory of a twig.

I can't even remember what I was doing 5min ago - no joke.

Also my timeliness are SO fucking hazy - it's the trauma - because I'm learning shit I thought happened with JB in 2011 happened in 2009.

I am not the most reliable source.

Also I didn't care about Nick much back then. That's from when he was my least favorite (derogatory).

Thank you for illuminating us on the subject! I actually did learn a lot from that.

[timegears-moved]

(totk ending spoilers ahoy)

wow ganondorf sure does love gettjng stabbed in the head huh

ya know, for all the shit i've given this game about how much i hate the story, that finale was fucking amazing. better than botw's even (i know it's not a hot take to say botw had a mediocre ending for how much i enjoyed the rest of the story).

so.... i loved the callbacks to the beginning with gloom's lair and the forgotten foundations. i loved that you can remove the rocks blocking the way to see the rest of the mural now that you know what happens (kinda strange that the murals were there before zelda even time travelled but whatever. i just gotta accept that the time travel in this game makes zero fucking sense). but it was just very cool to have a book closing situation with it. AND ALSO ZELDA'S TORCH WAS STILL THERE!!! very sweet and sentimental detail. i also liked how it was the opposite of botw's, as in botw you were ascending hyrule castle but here you're descending far far below the castle and further below anywhere else in the depths.

the atmosphere here was amazing, especially with how the power of the sages couldn't reach you. it was truly isolating and i knew that the sages themselves would show up eventually but nonetheless it was really hammering in the tenseness of the situation.

one of my gripes is honestly with the sages. they felt kinda....useless?? which feels means to say because i like their characters but it felt like they didn't have much of a presense in the final despite literally being there. i do like how tulin was like "we need to work together" when his whole thing during the rito questline was how he was doing everything by himself and had to learn and accept teamwork. if totk carried at least one thing over from botw it was that the rito continue to have the best and well-developed characters lmao (even if the impact of tulin's felt smaller. probably because he's not.... ya know....dead).

AS FOR THE FINAL BATTLE ITSELF. WOW. ganondorf's ai was fucking incredible here. also his taunting was just very funny to me for some reason??? except for when he reached his second phase and was beckoning link closer i was like okay you need to die now.

SPEAKING OF THE SECOND PHASE: LOST MY SHIT AT THE HEALTH BAR. i love when games play with the hud and that adds to the story (prof sada/turo's text boxes glitching out and it briefly flashing with "they have no intention of fighting anymore" before changing back comes to mind as something similar). it was just very cool.

third phase was also very cool with it incorporating the sky and zelda joining us (nitpick time sorry: though the fact that she is capable of recognizing link and helping him even as a dragon kinds goes against the whole "losing yourself" aspect of it. like she was clearly still in there). i don't think the third phase was as good as the first and especially the second though. it was very easy, though it was cool that if you got hit by ganondorf's attack you would permanently lose one of your hearts. it was still a good part of the fight though, don't get me wrong.

JUMPING AFTER ZELDA AND REACHING FOR HER WAS BEAUTIFUL THOUGH. WAHHHHH

as for the epilogue it was sweet but the entire story of the game let it down a bit. i felt nothing for mineru passing and that's because everybody from the past barely felt like a character to me. this is also extends to when the current sages were vowing to protect hyrule and zelda had a flashback to the old sages. like wow it's very cool that you got to know those guys zelda and i'm glad that they meant something to you. wish i could say the same considering we still know fuck all about them.

epilogue aside, the ending was wonderful. it brought this game up from a 6 out of 10 to a 7 out of 10. if only the rest of the story was of this quality.

[articianne]

Where should I start if i want to get I to the fire emblem series?

this is going to be a pretty biased answer, so... im sorry in advance! this is also a long one, so I'm putting them under a cut.

u have a fair number of options here. All of the ones I'm recommending released in the last decade, mostly because games older than that are NOT friendly to new players due to their difficulty. once u get used to the combat, then 100% some of the older games are fantastic to get into.

ill put them in order of my recommendation, including the new release of engage! i have vastly different reasons for why i may recommend each one.

1) awakening

this one is the beginning of the more "social" games, i.e. the horny chess stuff (cough dating sim). i think this one is the one that's recommended as a "Start Here!" game the most, and for good reason! i absolutely love it for what it is, and it has a good balance of combat, story, and the matchmaking stuff. i recommend this first to anyone who heard of fire emblem's social mechanics and, as a result, wants to dive in. it also has lore that goes back to the very beginning of fire emblem to FE 1. not much, but it does. from here, u can go back and do older games, or keep going and play the newer ones. Either way u'll be happy with the gameplay choices they added in the last decade or u'll enjoy harder combat from before then. this is my 2nd or 3rd favorite FE game!!

2) engage

i am really surprised i'm able to say this game considering it just came out, but it honestly is a really good place to start, unless downgrading in graphics is a big issue. i honestly have nearly no issues with this one—granted I'm not done with it but it's got a bit of romance for the protag, a tone in the story similar to 80% of the other games, REALLY FUN COMBAT, and somehow literally every other protag in the series without spoiling things for other games.

it is also VERY cheesy, maybe even more than normal, and the plot is fairly predictable (as far as I can tell). but cheese is a mainstay in FE games. if that's not up ur alley, prepare to either cringe or relish in anime. i fucking love it lmao

the only complaint i have, and this is literally my only complaint so i am truly nitpicking, is that for some reason like 20% of the girls in this game have vtuber hair that goes down to their ankles, and i don't know why. I don't know why this was a style choice, or if there's a plot reason, or whatever, but a lot of them have it. I don't even have a problem with "toothpaste pepsi mc" anymore. m!Alear is WILDLY endearing to me, but f!Alear's hair is so fucking long. i just. How.

3) shadows of valentia

im probably an outlier in recommending this, but i swear i have a good reason. this is the newest "classic" game because it's a remake of FE 2—i.e. if u don't care about matchmaking or having the protag marry someone of ur choosing, or if u simply wanna get a taste for the older style of games first before going to the games with more stuff to do, then i recommend this one. The story is fantastic, it's fully voice acted with some of THE BEST acting (and also music) I've honestly ever heard. but i am definitely biased since this is my favorite FE game and one of my fav games of all time. however, it really is just combat and story, with a few spare support conversations between characters for the sake of stat boosts (all the romance is canon within the story—can't change a bit about that).

4) three houses

this is the last one out of the "play this first" i'll recommend, because ill be honest, I'm not a fan of 3h's gameplay. I do like many of the characters, I think the serious tone of the game is great, but the gameplay really soured a lot of it for me. There's a calendar system that steamrolls the story so ur mostly just there for the ride as the hours clock by. As well as that, many of the combat skills that other games share with each other aren't a thing in this one, so combat mechanics can be a hard shift going from this game to anything else.

that being said, this is a great place to start if u want a game that will introduce u to the strategy mechanic that also isn't campy, cheesy, filled with anime tropes, whatever. the game is serious, with different routes and loads of choices for matchmaking galore. the only caveat is literally no other game in the franchise is like this. many of the other games are about light & dark and our friends make us strong and My Whole Personality Is About This One Thing. which i personally LOVE. but if that isn't for u, i would start with 3h, get used to the gameplay, warm up to the idea of campiness. and if u still think it's not for u, then great, u played 3 houses and probably enjoyed it a lot and u can wait until a new game comes out that may match the tone.

hope this helped!

[sensesdialed-aa]

people are so quick to jump on every tiny thing about this spiderman and. For What-

[beevean]

(Regarding Sonic Omens, also sorry for the broken English) what the fuck is that story lol

Shadow's Character development regression with that hologram boss is truly a bruh moment.

Also the fact Sonic X is canon in this fangame despite stated to take place in the game continuity after Unleashed make no sense like that mean Shadow got bonked again, lose his memory again and got captured by Eggman again.

I know this is nitpicking but the fact they consistently referred Dr. Eggman/Robotnik as Professor Robotnik and Shadow referred him as Eggman rather than Doctor annoyed me a lil bit.

That fangame is the perfect example why being a fan should being a bonus, as well why giving them that much power is a mistake.

At least we had Sonic Triple Trouble 16 bit, I heard good things about that fan made reimagine.

I have no idea. @latin-dr-robotnik showed me some clips and I was like "tf is happening????"

Yes, the timeline is SA, SA2, Sonic X, Unleashed, Omens, Colors (as hinted in the ending). We just skipped three whole games because... they're inconvenient, I guess. Can't have Shadow being manipulated by Maria if ShTH happened :^))))) because that's his personality, right? Maria angst. That's all there is to him. We love Shadow so much that we forgot his whole character.

I know this is nitpicking but the fact they consistently referred Dr. Eggman/Robotnik as Professor Robotnik and Shadow referred him as Eggman rather than Doctor annoyed me a lil bit.

I haven't seen these parts, but c'mon man, Shadow always always says "doctor". He's supposed to be polite! Please!

and professor robotnik's name is gerald. bruh.

That fangame is the perfect example why being a fan should being a bonus, as well why giving them that much power is a mistake.

Remember that this game was monetized :)

What a whiplash, going from TT to this one. TT not only is a much better game, but it nails the characterization of the characters in its competition mode! And it's clearly made out of love, and not out of "I can do better than SEGA". The "explaination" as to why the Chaos Emeralds haven't appeared in modern games is so contrived... and worthless as of Frontiers, lmao.

[nbapprentice]

ok so i played boyfriend dungeon

it has been super racist with sunder being an extremely sexual and promiscuous moc and nothing else going for him. like he is so immediately horny for the protag its not even funny. like, there’s supposed to be a stalker in this game, right? sunder feels worse than him at times its that bad. he’s a play on the latino lover trope but, ohhhh SUbVEriING eXpEcTAtions turns out hes Indian. wow. truly changes everything.

had valeria's background be about dating. two siblings. simultaneously. why. why. why. she herself is ok but it keeps coming up in the route, again, and again, and again. i am so fucking uncomfortable. it keeps coming up as if it was a normal thing.

isaac is... weird. he’s meant to be this much older, mentor-ish figure ??? and he keeps trying to psychoanalyze you through the monsters in the dungeons...??? eeehnnn

sawyer is. sawyer is a kid. they cant even drink. the fact that you have Could Honestly Be 40 Yr Old Businessman and 20yo Freshman as love interests in the same game for the same protagonist is super fucking weird. the fact that sawyer is NB doesnt help anything considering how much nb ppl get infantilized. in the final cutscene they look like they’re 12 (and they got whitewashed?). what the fuck.

rowan is whatever. they’re clunky at worst. but its super weird that they write them to, like, not know about technology and be super sheltered even though their grandmother??? had an online presence, apparently?? and their raven has viral videos??? ??? also this ones just a nitpick but for sbdy whos literally never had friends let alone a partner why were they somehow magically (rimshot) a sex god

the only normal one whose route was actually enjoyable was seven. hes ok.

and yall wanna know the worst part?

the antagonist? the stalker who keeps violating all of your boundaries? the ending. the final confrontation is about. helping him through his insecurities. wow. lmao. rofl. im sorry? im sorry??? we’re hugging it out with this weirdo who can’t leave me the fuck alone? really?

gag!