#this is too fucking cute not to reblog

[plulp]

IM NOT A DOCTOR BUT I THINK I MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP

[writinggremlin]

How about Call of Duty: Held at sword/gunpoint for the Cafe Pals? (Those three sound super fun BTW, haha!)

-- @whumperofworlds

Those three are definitely super fun!! Especially Mars; he's a little gremlin sometimes. He loves to tease Jacky and Sunni, and you'll figure out the reason why by the end of this story lmao.

I don't usually whump these three -- I usually just use them for cute and funny bits in the background -- but that just makes the moments where I do whump them hit even better. So, here we go.

Call of Duty: Held at sword/gunpoint, for the Cafe Pals (Jacky, Sunni, and Mars)

The prompt is from this ask game here! Enjoy!

Cw (under cut): Gun, Robbery, Brief Manhandling, Blood

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Held at Gunpoint (Near Miss)

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It was a normal day for Jacky, who was humming along to a song that was quietly playing over the speakers. A sigh escaped her as she finished wiping down the counter, and she took a step back. Pushing up her glasses by the bridge, she looked up at the seating area.

There were only a few other people here at the time, and Sunni had just gotten back into the kitchen after handing an older gentleman his usual order. It never really got busy here -- this place had never really gotten popular -- but she couldn't help the feeling of pride that warmed her heart. This was her place; her child, even, and she loved it as such.

She also felt a bit of pride towards Sunni and Mars too, though especially so for Sunni. They had known each other for years now; she was the first person Jacky hired on. It couldn't of have been an easy choice for her to make (even though she was the one who made the offer to help), and Jacky never fully understood why this beautiful dork of a blonde stuck around, especially when she clearly had an interest and amazing potential in pursuing other careers like fashion and design, but she was forever grateful for her help and support nonetheless.

Besides, there was something special about her presence that made it really fun and easy to hang out with her. She was an amazing friend. Sweet, kind, supportive, compassionate...

The jingle of bells rung through the air as the door opened, pulling Jacky back out of her thoughts.

"Hello! Welcome t--"

The words were choked short in her throat as she was met with the barrel of a pistol. Slowly and cautiously, she raised her trembling hands.

"Open the register."

Her eyes flicked up to the masked figure. They were wearing all black, and fixed her with a stern stare.

Everything had suddenly gone deathly silent, save for her quickening breath and the song that didn't seem to match the mood anymore.

She nodded her head towards a jar on the counter, "There's the tip jar if you--"

"Now!"

Two pairs of footsteps came running out from the back; both abruptly coming to a halt somewhere out of Jacky's line of sight.

"What the hell is going o--"

"Shit--"

Shit.

Jacky glanced towards their direction, "Mars, Sunni," She spoke carefully and clearly, "Stay back. Keep your hands up. No sudden movements." She's dealt with a theif or two in the past, but this was the first time any of them had been held at gunpoint. She looked back to the person in front of her, daring a glare, "Don't hurt them."

"Do as I say, and nobody gets hurt." They shot a warning glare to the other two.

Swallowing back the bile creeping up her throat, she gave the slightest of a nod, "Ok. Deal. I'm going to open--"

"You're seriously going to just let them take everything without a fight?! I bet that's not even a real g--"

"MARS!!" Jacky and Sunni both sho--

BANG

Jacky flinched when the gun moved to aim towards the others. A couple patrons screamed, the sounds nearly drowned out by the noise.

Holy shit-- Holy shit-- Please be ok-- Please let them be--

"Fucking-- Mars!! Are you ok?!"

"Y-yeah... I-- I'm--... It didn't-- I wasn't, hit."

Jacky let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. Though that relief was short lived, as the gun was aimed right back at her once more.

"Take that as your only warning." Their cold glare was more than enough proof for Jacky to understand that they meant it, "Register. NOW!"

"Ok! Alright! Sorry!" Jacky carefully, yet quickly moved to press the buttons needed to unlock the register. The drawer popped open with a ding, and she flinched as the gun moved again. This time it lowered down to the counter, as the criminal hoisted themself over. She stepped back, attempting to stay out of their way.

"Here, just take it all and lea--" Apparently she wasn't out of of the way enough for them, as they grabbed her shoulder and shoved her to the side.

She fell from the force, unable to catch herself before her head smacked face first into the tiled floor below.

Jacky lifted herself slightly, immediately noticing the stark contrast of red against white; glistening blood dripping down onto the glossy surface beneath her. Turning her head, she looked back at at the person, who was quickly shoveling everything into a bag. A low groan escaped from her throat as she screwed her eyes shut and lowered her head back down.

As soon as the criminal made their exit, the place seemed to come back to life once more.

Sunni was kneeling next to Jacky in an instant, "Holy shit-- Holy shit-- Jacky!! Are you ok?! Shit your nose is bleeding-- here!"

Jacky looked up to find a handful of tissues getting shoved into her face. Smiling, she took them with a quiet, "Thank you." She held them up against her nose as she pinched it shut and tilted her head forward. "Are you ok?" She asked, placing a hand on the other's knee.

"Are you ok?" She retorted.

Jacky couldn't help but to chuckle over the insistent concern, "I'm ok. I'm fine." She winced as she pushed herself off the floor to sit up, "Ah! Ow-- My nose hurts though. I think I might've-- ah-- ...I might've broken it."

Glancing up, she noticed that a couple patrons had come over to check on them, "I'm fine, guys. Sorry about all of that. But if it's alright, can you all stick around for a bit? Just until the police get here so that you can--"

"Oh shit-- we should-- I'm gonna call the cops." Jacky looked over at Mars, who had pulled out his phone and was already dialing 911.

"Ok. Good. Alright..."

"Hello? Yeah, we just had a robbery over at..." The conversation quickly became muffled as he stepped into the back.

Jacky's attention snapped back to Sunni as she suddenly pulled her into a tight hug. Jacky stiffened, then quickly returned the embrace, allowing some of the tension in her body to melt away as she hid down into her shoulder.

After taking a few moments to soak in the comfort, Jacky lifted her head, frowning slightly, "Ah shit, I'm getting your sleeve all bloody." She felt a hand on the back of her head, gently guiding it back down to her friend's shoulder.

"Shush. It's literally just a shirt you fucking goof. I'm just glad you're ok."

She glanced up at Sunni, "You and Mars are ok too, right?"

Sunni nodded, "Yes, we're fine." Jacky felt her hands start to clutch at the back of her shirt, "Though I swear to god, Mars--"

"Shhhh, it's fine, we'll deal with him later. I'm just glad you guys are ok." She nuzzled down into the crook of her friend's neck.

She sighed, shoulders dropping, "I'm glad you're ok too." Jacky heard a small sniffle by her ear, "I just--... I don't know what I'd do if you-- if they--..." She didn't-- couldn't-- finish that sentence, instead drawing in a quivering breath, and hiding away into her shoulder.

Jacky started rubbing circles on her back, hugging her tighter, "It's ok, I'm ok. I'm here. We're here. We're ok. I'm not going anywhere." The reassurances continued for a few minutes, before Sunni lifted her head again with a snotty sounding sniff.

"Hey Jacky...? Can I tell you something?"

She lifted her head just enough to be able to look up at her, "Hm? Yeah, what is it?"

There was a long moment of silence...

Hesitation...

Anticipation...

Uncertainty...

"...Nevermind. Sorry."

Jacky's brow furrowed, but she decided not to pry, "Hm. Alright then."

A few more moments passed, before Sunni suddenly jolted a little bit, "Oh! Your glasses fell off when he pushed you, by the way! Here!"

Jacky laughed a little, "Oh, thanks! I didn't even notice that!"

Sunni smiled, soft and warm, "Of course! Here, let me get these back on for you real quick..."

Jacky didn't protest as Sunni carefully slid the glasses back into place. A stray piece of hair escaped Jacky's ponytail and fell into her face, and Sunni carefully tucked it back away behind her ear. Her hand lingered there for a moment, before she just shook her head and pulled her back in again.

As Sunni shoved her face into the crook of her neck, Jacky heard her whisper something under her breath. It was too quiet to know for sure, but she could've sworn that she heard three small words...

"I love you."

[bleach-your-panties]

🎀OMG THEY'RE ALL SO CUTE����

Villains (with the exception of choso)

(Had to make some edits)

[risingsunresistance]

twitter is entering their "rts > likes" phase now that likes are private after they spent years calling us ungrateful for being demotivated by ratios lmao

[mrswhymrhow]

i really want to make a cesare one one day but the thing is. my music is Not made for fancams

[tumbler-dot-com-user]

I made myself a crochet crown and decided to wear it out but now I just feel like a fucking idiot🙃

[forlornmelody]

Meet cute coffee AU but it's mutual pining because the customer doesn't want to ruin their aquaintanceship with that cute barista who makes them amazing latte art.

[skitskatdacat63]

Everyone in The Talented Mr Ripley is just the physical embodiment of a Leyendecker painting(including the homoerotica!!)

[mocacheezy]

Finished watching The Super Mario Bros. Movie, (there's a good quality version on soap2day.to) so here are my thoughts:

🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄

Good stuff:

The animation is super fun!

It's very colorful, but not in the way that it will make your eyes burn

Music I love the remixes of different songs from the games (especially the super star one at the end). There are also quite a few songs that are older and meme-y and they were so cool to hear!

I enjoyed the characterization of pretty much all characters

No Forced Romance I absolutely fucking ADORE that there was no on-screen forced chemistry when it came to Peach. Yea, Bowser is madly in love with her (or the concept of marriage, jury is still out on this one), but Peach? Nah. She has a bit of a rosey tint to her eyes when she first sees Mario, and Mario also likes her, but the movie doesn't force it past this. There's no "Saving the other", or "Victory kiss" or the like. They are traveling together to save the Mushroom Kingdom and Luigi, not to find a romantic partner. DK also pokes fun at Mario for a bit, and Toad also banters about it, but Peach doesn't confirm or deny anything, and Mario just says he's being friendly... Like, I genuinely think these two have a 'good friends that might become more' kind of relationship in this movie. And I love it, and I adore that we didn't have an animated kiss of any kind. It was so refreshing, and I was pleasantly surprised there wasn't any hand holding in that field of flowers.

The brotherly affection between Mario and Luigi

It was so good to see. It was wonderful to see them both excited, both of them supporting each other, and the reunion had me feel such joy. This is the kind of sibling love I sometimes wish I was capable of experiencing with my siblings. AND THERE WAS NO FIGHTING AND HURTFUL WORDS OR ACCUSATIONS HURLED AT EACH OTHER!!! This, this is so rare in the movies or shows I've seen before. It does make sense, siblings do stuff that annoys the other, but these two really stick together and care for eachother and rely on eachother.

Luigi not being just a scared incompetent guy He was terrified in that forest, got kidnapped, and when faced with a terrifying turtle looking creature that was very ready to start torturing him, he STILL denied knowing Mario for as long as he could. His line about "not knowing every guy with a mustache" made me smile a bit because it's TRUE, it's a GOOD POINT and EXCUSE, even if it didn't work. And he doesn't give up, he doesn't break down and think how hopeless everything is. Hell, he sees things and remembers Mario and how he always comes to his aid. I was also ecstatic that he ALSO BEATS UP BOWSER WITH MARIO. This movie isn't Super Mario, it's Super Mario Brothers!!!

Bowser. Jack Black did an amazing job. The animators and script writers have my undying gratitude. Bowser is now permanently on my Blorbo List. I will now stop talking or this post will be all about Bowser appreciation and gushing over the character and animation.

THE CREEPY ELEMENTS I had a Mario game for my Nintendo DS, and I could never play it because the water level with the eel scared me too much. I was terrified then, and seeing the eel now had me freeze up. A big NOPE. And not just that either, the skeleton Koopa, the masked lil guys, the creepy parts were very creepy. I adore it. And the bats looked adorable :> Meh stuff:

I didn't really like Toad at the start. I found him pretty darn annoying even. But his bravery as a sharp contrast to everyone abandoning their Princess is admirable, and he did grow on me as the movie progressed.

Seems that every situation requires an exclamation of "mamma mia". Now both folks on the internet and folks I've met irl do use it, and say they use it quite often, but there are also other phrases that could be used. Every mother in Brooklyn has hiccups at this point. And yes, I know it makes sense because this is one of the catchphrases Mario has. But still, I personally found it a bit meh/repetitive. I am not Italian tho, so my opinion on the matter can be discarded.

... honestly, there weren't many things I didn't enjoy about this movie, it was a nice one!

I give it a 10/10 + a golden star because THEY GAVE BOWSER A MINI PIANO!!!!

I also now have at least a few story ideas, because listen... I need that Koopa Wizard pinning after Bowser, I need this in my life-

In conclusion, 10/10, it's a nice time.

[handmemyglockenspiel-imgoingin]

Yes, I am in fact going to let this silly sad little man from a game I won't be able to play for god only knows how long occupy my mind at every waking hour for the foreseeable future because he's cute and I want to give him a hug.

[odetolovers]

i love. cats and my girlfriend

[peapod20001]

Don’t mind me. Just rewriting ocs again. Anyways did you know Carolina’s other dad was actually Rory’s late spouse? And that they had been together for millennia? Cus now you do!

[azumasoroshi]

forever cursed to write insane long tag spam on reblogs of other people’s posts until i realize that i should make a separate post for the idea and putting the post into drafts and then never getting around to transfering the idea to post form

[lightningfilledsaber]

I really need to plan holiday themed art in advance

[aroace-poly-show]

just woke up and almost immediately saw an incest ship what a way to start off my day

[jimingyue]

Cat Tumblr Dashboard Simulator

🖋️ meowful-musings Follow

🕊️ birdwatching Follow

what's wrong with dry food??? my humans feed me it all the time and i think it's fine

💀 elusivehider-deactivated948204

op wheres the natural feeding option

🌲 outdoorsy Follow

you guys are getting fed?

#im a barn cat so maybe im missing something here #meowtthew don't look

7,192 notes

☀️ pawsitive-affurmations Follow

ITS OKAY TO BE A MOGGIE

ITS OKAY TO BE A MOGGIE

YOU ARE NOT LESS VALID IF YOU ARE NOT A SPECIFIC PEDIGREE!!!!!

☀️ pawsitive-affurmations Follow

extra special shout out to cats who have "common" coat colors. grey tabbies and black cats i am rubbing against your head affectionately <3

🪤 m0usetrap01 Follow

as a grey tabby i really needed to hear this :"3

#i feel like i never see positivity posts for moggies even tho we're the most common type of cat....

154,688 notes

🎵 rage-against-the-meowchine Follow

i cant believe there are cats ACTUALLY advocating for kittens to be separated from their mothers before 12 weeks??? kittens still need to learn how to interact with other cats before being placed into their furever home omg you guys know you're advocating for undersocialized and aggressive cats right

❤️ loving-paws284 Follow

um op some of us??? matured early??????? i was separated from my mother at 7 weeks and i turned out fine... interesting how you assume that kittens being separated from their mothers at a younger age will lead to the degeneracy of the next generation...hmm i wonder where i've heard that before...

🐈 fluffy-the-cat Follow

OP got bit too hard during a play-fight as a kitten and it shows XD

🐟 tunafeesh Follow

also op have you ever considered that just because somecat is kind of scared and unable to deal with strange cats or humans, it doesn't mean they don't deserve to be adopted?? you sound like a vet psyop honestly

🎵 rage-against-the-meowchine Follow

oh meow god saying that kittens should be fully weaned before leaving their mother is NOT veterinarian rhetoric and i never said that they deserve to be euthanized!!! my mother literally died when i was 3 weeks old and it seriously messed up my development so stop putting words in my mouth, thanks

anyway friendly reminder that underweaned kittens are prone to illness and often struggle with basic cat behaviors like litterbox usage, and in some nyavinces it's even considered kitten abuse

#discourse #cant believe "kitten abuse is bad" is controversial now

32,456 notes

🍃 naturalliving Follow

BORN TO DIE

WORLD IS A FUCK

猫神 Kill Em All 1989

I am trash cat

410,757,864,530 DEAD BIRDS

#outdoorliving #outdoorcats please interact #outdoorcat friendly

48,971 notes

🎣 salmonpurina Follow

can't believe cats are uncritically reblogging that born to die world is a fuck post. i know it's funny but op is literally an outdoor cat truther

#like cmon now you just have to go to their blog #lulu speaks

34 notes

💀 tabbystripes-deactivated098712

gentle reminder that pushing cups off the table is not cute and can cause a lot of distress in your human!!!! gentle reminder that our teeth and claws can easily hurt them more than they can hurt us!!!!

🐰 evil-tabbystripes Follow

evil reminder that the cup should always be pushed off the table. evil reminder that you should always bite and claw at your human no matter what. you can do whatever you want forever

💀 tabbystripes-deactivated098712

make your own pawst

💀 laser-point-deactivated8574721

umm i know a tomcat who did that and his human ended up putting him down so...

👬🏻 nyasunaruenjoyer Follow

Nyaverage shelter cat behavior

#not nyaruto #re-nyab #pickles shut up

545,460 notes

🌈 nyaoi-warrior Follow

saw two male cats sleeping together on the porch today. homeow behavior imo

💡 discourse-meows Follow

hey um what the fuck??? it's really not okay of you to go assuming other cat's sexualities, especially cats you don't even know???? as a queer cat i'm VERYY uncomfortable. real-ass cats didn't consent to your nyaoi fetish, thanks

🌈 nyaoi-warrior Follow

1. i was making. a joak

2. i'm literally gay???

#literally what's your pawblem

7 notes

🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow

reblog if you've ever caught the laser pointer

🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow

i know you fuckers are lying

🍭 gaykittens Follow

this tom hasn't caught the laser pointer

🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow

shut the heull up

988,653 notes

🐾 b-e-a-n-t-o-e-s Follow

grey toebeans >>>>>>>>> pink toebeans and don't let the haters make you believe otherwise

🐁 ladymouser Follow

op shut the fuck up ALL toebeans are beautiful!!! just bc you're miserable and insecure doesn't mean you can bring others down based on things they can't control

🐾 b-e-a-n-t-o-e-s Follow

oh so the cat-human separationist wants to preach to us