#this is the thing that bothers me
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love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking
#yes i want things to be free like ??? that is not a weird desire#'but but it costs money to keep up' ok and? how is that my problem#the government has plenty of murder dollars they could reallocate a few to make internet services universal if they wanted#also these companies were perfectly capable of supporting themselves before the internet got drowned with ads so ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ#edit: muting notifs on this post bc new additions have kind of petered out#so no one feel bad about adding something someone else has saidā it is not bothering me im just trying to keep my#notifs page cleanish lol#also since i saw some people are being redirected to read my tags: firstly hiiiiii this is a special secret message for you:3#secondly i have learned since making this that the reason they were able to support themselves previously was because#of investors bankrolling everything#and theyre now finally realizing that theyre never going to actually make a profit and arent as willing to invest#however thats just a minor correction and doesnt change my overall point#once again. so many murder dollars#so thats why im just adding it here in the tags rather than making an actual correction#anyways . love yall š#origibberish#bigger gibbers
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I think we should have a turn of phrase for "I'm not in the right, but I AM annoyed with this situation, so I just need to go bitch to a friend about this before I suck it up and go do the right thing" because more and more I'm finding this is a critical element of functional adulthood.
#the person who's re-emailed me asking for help with something: yes I should get back to you. yes I will get back to you#but in the meantime I will look at the email like 'I am busy right now! I have deadlines! do not bother me about this unrelated thing!'#and like in 15 minutes when I'm ready to be an adult again I'll get back to them
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Honestly the cliche advice is true. If you fill your life w things youāre passionate about, if you challenge yourself every day, if you give your own opinion of yourself more weight than you do other peopleās opinions of you, you will actually thrive. Like no one can tell u anything
#Iām just in a whole state of mind rn#there will always be ppl who try to bring u down but pursuing the things u love will help u rise above it.#I absolutely still get anxious / annoyed at things but Iām over it sm faster. and soon it wonāt bother me at all.#or at least itāll have a healthy duration. bc negative emotion isnāt always bad. negative emotion is important and we should not ignore it#but overall!! preserving my energy better. just need to work on my knee jerk responses & Iāll be set#text
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what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?
i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?
a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?
in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.
girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.
there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.
for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.
something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.
is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.
most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."
a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.
#warm up#writeblr#this one has bothered me for a bit#any time a woman does something even passingly annoying we treat it like a fucking crime#hey man. women are allowed to be annoying. everyone forever is allowed to be passingly annoying#as long as they aren't hurting anyone/thing#like u wanna know something? i find it super annoying that men don't wear seatbelts#why arent there thousands of comments on driving videos thats just like : men try not to die in a car crash challenge#''this briefly annoyed me''. okay??????? AND????????????????? go get ur self a cookie and calm down about it#ur not entitled to control other ppl's experiences and emotions just so u can maintain ur own peace#if being briefly annoyed ruins ur whole day! you! need! therapy!!!!#men try not to become immediately angry about nothing challenge: level impossible#ps author is nonbinary. we didn't even get into the gender presentation thing#the fact men think it's SEXY that my voice is on the lower end....
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One of the reasons why I love Steddie is how sweet Eddie was with Steve in the forest scene. Thatās what got me into this ship. It was nice to see someone being patient and kind to Steve like that and it coming from someone like Eddie who viewed Steve so differently means a lot.
I loved how he told him how much Dustin looks up to him, making Steve smile and even after that wanting to joke around a little to make Steve laugh as well.
It was such a nice change, because all the other scenes we just see him bickering with someone or people making him seem stupid when he asks questions. Eddie didnāt make fun of him for not knowing Ozzy like he probably would have prior to things and instead let it be and called Steve cool. I love them.
#I know it shouldnāt be taken to heart how Dustin was like with him#But it just bothers me sometimes#Or even Nancyās comment how it explains everything bc Steve hit his head#Implying thereās something wrong with him even as a joke#I just take things personally sometimes because I see myself in Steve and Iād love to be given that patience too#steve harrington#stranger things#eddie munson#steddie
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reminder for abled people, part of being an ally to disabled people is to actually care about them enough to bother to tailor things to their needs.
care enough to plan activities that your disabled friends are able to do. care enough to plan meals that your disabled friends will be able to eat. care enough to be willing to meet them where They are, rather than being upset if they canāt meet you where You are.
things are so hard for us already. donāt make things harder and sadder for us by excluding us with your thoughtlessness.
#posts inspired by me being excluded from things bc my family couldnt be bothered :) lol#0#disability#disabled#chronic pain#chronic fatigue
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Some midnight doodles of them :>
Drawing Jazz with the doorwings feels so weird haha I kinda want to animate them doing flap-flap thing
#maccadam#transformers#prowl#jazz#jazzprowl#Okay hereās the thing#I like the new Jazz design from tf one#but everything in me refuses to draw him with thatā¦how do I say it in english? Straight nose bridge?#bruh i dont know the right words#His nose is straight and sharp idk how to say it better#he already has his visor that makes the sharp shape on his face#I like drawing him with..uhh#yea bruh no my vocabulary isnāt enough for this ted talk#sorry anyone who bothered to read it haha
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But I still think of you
#dead boy detectives#my art#charles rowland#song inspo: Radical Face ā Ghost Towns#the fact that his parents are still alive and heās constantly checking up on them mess me up a bit#since the school covered up what happened to him they probably didnāt bother to find out either#in the comic he even said his father would probably be relieved heās dead#30 years and he's still making sure they're okay. seeing them happy and moving on without him#it's one of the first thing we learn about him in the show
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ok someone please correct me if i'm wrong but am i weird for thinking those 'audiobooks don't count as reading' posts are ableist as fuck????
#ramble#my first thought was like: how is this even a debate what about blind people. not every book comes in braille but MOST have an audiobook#or dyslexic people#you still enjoyed the book!! you still absorbed it!!! you got EXACTLY the same thing as people who read the words!!!#how does it not count????#i guess you miss out on the 'learning new vocab' you get through seeing the words but also#i don't really do audiobooks but i do a lot of podcasts esp fiction podcasts#and i have ABSOLUTELY picked up new stuff from there that helps with my writing#someone please explain how this is even an argument of COURSE it counts????#idk in my opinion finishing a book means 'i put the words in my brain and i thought about them and i enjoyed a story'#not 'i held a stack of paper in my hands for a bit'#i'm v lucky that i do have time to sit and read. and whenever i commute anywhere it's public transport so i CAN bring a book with me#but if i didn't have the free time or had to drive for hours everywhere i would be STOKED to still get to enjoy books#it's been REALLY bothering me lmao idk why i feel so strongly#for some reason it's giving the same energy as like. being told you can't take a comic or manga from the library bc it's not a 'real' book#of course it's a real book it's a story somebody wrote down#i can see this spiralling into 'if you have a kindle you aren't reading'. you have to sniff the paper. feel the papercuts
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I always have a soft spot for characters who have a protective streak for another out of gratitude for their kindness towards them, but Charlesā protectiveness towards Edwin really hits a particular way because itās so so apparent that itās specifically about wanting Edwin to feel as safe and as comfortable around him as Edwin made Charles feel in his dying moments. Iām going to shatter like glass.
#and this is exactly why I think the cat king thing bothered Charles so much#āwhy isnāt he talking to me? doesnāt he know ive got his back? what could be so bad that he wouldnāt tell me?ā#and the devlin house completely uproots his sense of āgoodnessā and makes it all compound into#āmaybe Iām not a good person and maybe thatās why I canāt help my friends properlyā#:(#no further proof is needed that Edwin feels safest with Charles over anyone else#when his first reaction after finally figuring out his feelings for Charles is to immediately want to confess to him#even though heās scared. he trusts Charles that much that he has to try and tell him right away.#gah. theyāre so sweet.#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#storyrambles#dbda spoilers#random thoughts
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Exactly
i'm gonna say it, i don't think jack's father was planned at all
honestly i don't know if they were even going to adress it until everybody was like 'who is he???'
the traveler does not work as his father i am sorry
jack barely shows any connection to the traveler in the 2023 OR 2024 story modes
like i suppose he has gold in his design??? so does eddie from 24k magic and i dont think hes the travellers son
jd team couldve easily made a map with some other red haired coach in a suit and just said 'yeah hes not really important to the story but he was with leda at some point'
or just not even go down that route of the story, like i really dont think it had to be a big thing
we don't know who the other characters parents are besides wanderlust
so i think they just saw other known parent close to the main lore and said 'you know what sure i guess'
i guess he doesnt have to fully look like the son of both of them, but this is in the same plot with wanderlust who looks like if siha and traveler got put in a blender
this isnt even a 'i wanna still ship jacklust so im coping' thing its just a 'how does this make sense' thing
look at this and tell me it makes sense visually
like where did the red hair come from
#this is the thing that bothers me#I may not ship Wanderrlse any more or until farther news but still like it doesn't make too much sense#āBut maybe one of Traveler or Leda ancestor had red hairā then the JD team should have show it and for that they will need to make a new co#which they could also have done it too with making a father for Jack#āthe movement that Traveler does it's the same one as Jackā I also thought that but after clearling my mind it could have different meaning#rather than him being his dad like him looking up for him and I saw someone saying that Jack use that move to create portals to escape#They are probably going for that route but I'm still hoping that not.#not because I ship but becausr it not makes sense#and for other personal reasons but that a different story#also yes that are my thoughts about that they didn't were going for that route until they were people asking for who is the father#sorry if I'm sounding like an asshole but like bff this thing tickles me of a lot
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hug! that! captain!
#bbc ghosts#ghosts bbc#this is the type of thing that wouldve been too cheesy for the tv show but is so lovely to imagine lol#get hugged jimmy boy#julian is sort of hug adjacent because i donāt think hes much of a hugger. well and hugging him is a bit awkward#yes the star is mary#fanny putting her hand on his arm/back fucking killed me though. if he got a hug from anyone i wouldve been obliterated#cap and kitty hug in the christmas special please please please pretty please#ik humphrey was whole in the coming out scene but i cannot be bothered to fit his giant ass outfit in there. sorry king
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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Charlie, girlie, maybe don't trust the irredeemable serial killer?
#it's so funny to me how he doesn't ever bother to hide his true naturr#and Charlie's like ābut dad he's protecting this hotelāš„ŗ#charlie that's the least of the things he cares about come on#hazbin hotel#hazbin charlie#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel fanart#alastor#charlastor#charlie morningstar#radiobelle#shaylai
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sorry i can't actually stop thinking or posting about auggy they just have that effect (and also some twitter memes!)
#august pierce#akihiro yasumi#and some memes that mention rowan and sev but im not gonna bother tagging them LOL#infamous#infamous if#infamous art#my art#tentatively this might be the endgame canon pairing im going for (90% chance)#however aki and vic accidentally falling for each other also makes me want to start bashing my head into a wall#dont mind me. im just enjoying the ride#drawing this also made me want to do like a spread of his songwriting book i think that would be fun#a la miles' sketchbook development pages#and the lyrics ARE NOT MINE its again h/ippo campus's 'i got time' and a bit of 'cellar door' . only some sliight changes to suit aki more#based also on the fact that bad dream baby was written by jake n raffaella together in bed. such a cute little thing that i couldnt get out#of my system till i drew it with these two
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What We Do In The Shadows 5.03 | Padres vs Nats 6.7.2021
#this is the nichest of niche content. niche cracky content that me and jay can't stop laughing about#tatis š¤ laszlo: hot girl things. except tatis >>>> in this case. man didn't even bother touching the ground.... what is he.........#he's one jump away but also arguably what he did was more impressive#what we do in the shadows#wwdits#wwdits spoilers#wwditsedit#fernandotatis jr#san diego padres#baseball#mlb#userivett
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