#this is the stupidest and most out of date thing I’ve done

[annebrontefanclub]

Doctor: you only have 9 minutes and 22 seconds to live.

Me:

[luveline]

I’m obsessed with the sister!hotch and Reid fics. I can’t stop imagining that scene where Rossi goes to Garcia’s house and she’s fresh from the shower with Kevin. But instead is Hotch at readers house and Spencer is there.

—you and Spencer are in the midst of a long weekend together when your brother shows up unannounced. fem, 1.3k

“You’re really handsome.” 

Spencer laughs as you drag your hands back over his ears and through his sopping wet hair. The shower water is blissfully warm and soaking your front as it rains down on his head. You shield his eyes but otherwise have your fun. His hair is softer than anything you’ve ever felt. 

He holds your hands flat to his head. “You’re handsomer.” 

“Am I supposed to take that in a good way or a bad way?” you ask. 

“A good way!” he says, forgetting your hands in favour of guiding you under the water. “Handsome has nearly always been used for men more than women, but it didn’t fall out of fashion for girls until the fifties.” He tilts your head upward and to one side as his own begins to fall the other way. “You’re beautiful.” His voice is warm on your lips, “you’re so–”

His kiss is ridiculous; he kisses like he’s starving. You didn’t realise men could actually kiss like this until you met him. It’s not just in the movies, it’s right now, his hand at the back of your neck, unbothered by your laughing or your hand slipping down his wet t-shirt. 

“This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done,” you say. 

“We were covered in mud.” 

“We should’ve just got naked.” 

“We’re taking things slow,” he says, laughing, “it’s fun. But what are we gonna do about our wet clothes?”

“You got the most of the mud on you,” you say. Spencer had performed a valiant rescue in that when you fell, he was straight down into the grass after you in an attempt to save your jeans. It didn’t work, obviously, but the thought was there, and he’s such a good kisser in the shower that you don’t mind the loss. “I’m gonna get out and get changed, you can have a real shower, okay? I’ll get you a towel and your pyjamas and stuff.” 

“You sure?” 

“Yeah, it’s fine. I think all the mud from my top half is gone.” 

Spencer takes your face into his hand. His thumb rubs a line along your jaw. “Now it’s gone.” 

You beam. Who knew Dr. Spencer Reid was such a tender guy? You could sort of guess from looking at him that he’d touch you like that, but it’s a contrast, too, to be kissed as though you’re some irresistible siren and to have your face held like fragile glass. 

You step out of the shower still sodden, clothes heavy, and close the frosted door between you and Spencer to strip down. Separated but still shy, you hurry out of your clothes and into a towel, wrapping yourself tightly to head into your bedroom. 

You put on blissfully dry underwear and blot your face. Next is loose pyjama pants and a big t-shirt: you’ve never worried about being sexy for Spencer and you’re not about to start. Your first date was a walk in the park, your second date at the bowling alley. He’s not concerned with that stuff. It’s why his frankness about wanting to take things slow isn’t scary, because when he holds your face and tells you you’re pretty, you believe it. 

“Y/N?” 

You flinch so hard your neck cracks. “Ow,” you whine. 

“What’s wrong?” 

You walk forward before Aaron can let himself into your bedroom. Sure enough, your older brother is in your apartment (as he’s allowed, given that he furnished the entire place and paid the security deposit, and, also, awfully, is a very nice big brother). He’s smiling, carrying two pizza boxes and a carton atop it that smells like French fries. “What have you done now?” he asks fondly. 

“I hurt my neck, you scared me.” 

“If you answered your phone, you’d know I was here.” 

“I was in the shower!” 

“I can see that. You’re getting slovenly, it’s almost midday.” 

You’re so genuinely happy to see him that you forget for a moment your predicament. “It’s the weekend, I can do what I want.” You’re gonna have to let him down, which won’t be easy. “I’m not feeling the best, actually.” 

Aaron lets the pizza boxes rest against his stomach. “How come?” 

“I don’t know, I just feel tired. Maybe we can do something tomorrow.” 

“Honey,” Aaron says, with all the cadence of someone who’s used to rubbing your back when you’re sick, “what’s wrong? Let’s go sit down, I can make you something less greasy.” 

“I think you should just go home, actually. I might be contagious.” 

He looks less concerned and more gutted. “What? I don’t care if you’re contagious. When has that stuff ever bothered me?” Aaron takes another step toward you, his gaze flitting past you toward your bathroom. “What’s really going on?” 

The age gap between you and Aaron is expansive. Your being adopted is another gap, and neither have ever bothered him. The moment you showed up in his life he gave you everything he could manage, which has manifested in long phone calls, in hugs, in homemade soup and delivery when he couldn’t be there. Asking him not to look after you is like telling him you don’t want him to, and it isn’t true. 

He means a lot more to you than whatever awkwardness your confession will inspire. 

“Aaron,” you say, crossing your arms over your chest. “Spencer’s in the shower.” 

He squeezes his pizza boxes. “Sorry?” 

“We went to the park and I fell by the lake. He’s in the shower.” 

“But you were just in the shower,” Aaron says. 

“Well, we weren’t in there at the same time,” you drag. 

Your lie is obvious to him, not just as a profiler but as your brother. His brow pinches and his nose wrinkles, not disgusted with you or anything so cruelly stupid, but dissatisfied, at least. “Did you have to tell me that?” he asks, pained.

“I didn’t tell you that, you profiled that, and it’s sort of not what you think anyways! We didn’t do anything–”

“Honey.” 

“I’m really sorry, but it’s not what you think.” 

“Listen to me.” The shower turns off and Aaron’s cheek twitches. “You are a grown up. You can do what you like with who you like. It’s my fault for coming here unannounced, I keep thinking of you as younger than you are.” Says the adult. Then, the more friendly part of being a sibling emerges, “Could you send him home?” he whispers. “I got your favourite.” 

You laugh at his proposition. “That’s kinda rude, isn’t it? Can’t he stay? He’s cool.” 

“I’m having trouble coalescing the two of you as more than acquaintances in my mind,” he says, as though he has much more to say about it, even if he’s smiling. 

Spencer chooses that moment to walk from the en-suite bathroom and out of your room, a t-shirt stuck to his chest with damp, his own pyjama pants baggy at the ankles.

“Hey, are you okay?” Spencer grabs your hand impulsively, twining his fingers in yours. Then he sees Aaron and does a double take. “Hotch?”

You give Aaron a sorry smile. “Does that make it easier?” 

“I’ll wait in the kitchen.” 

You and Spencer watch Aaron retreat. His hand stays in yours, but he squeezes you too tightly. “Wait for what?” Spencer whispers fervently. 

You lean up on tiptoes to kiss his eyebrow. “You’re about to get the shovel talk, I think.” 

“Oh. Great.” He drops his forehead against your shoulder, wet hair dripping a path down your shirt. “This is really bad.” 

“He brought pizza.” 

“I don’t think that’s going to help me.” 

You crane your head and kiss-kiss-kiss the top of his ear. “You’re really pretty when your hair is wet.” 

Spencer murmurs to you reluctantly. “You’re really pretty all the time.” 

[softtdaisy]

hellu lando with it's okay, just breathe.

I LOVE your writing, you deserve all the celebration love!

Pairing: Lando Norris x female!reader

Words: 1020

A/n: the fact i went over 1k words for a story i don’t feel confident about is crazy. I really hope you will like it, i’ve never write about Lando before so it’s a first try  

Dating Lando was like living in a new sitcom episode every single day. Even when he was away for the championship and you couldn’t travel with him, he found a way to make your day better. A call, a message, the stupidest joke ever or the cutest proof of love. 

There were some bad days, of course. But somehow, the sun always seemed to shine even in the darkest sky. 

You could write a whole book about your boyfriend. 

You really considered doing it these past days. Being away from him for too long was getting harder for you. It was really like missing a half of yourself when he was in another country or, worse, in another continent. No amount of calls was making for the lack of waking up with him by your side.

“You realize that one day you’re going to deal with me every day for the rest of your life? Shouldn’t you enjoy your free time while you can?” he told you on the phone after you admitted being sad about him leaving early for Canada. He hasn’t even been home since Spain and he was already leaving.

“Well right now, I miss you, idiot.”

“Well I miss you too, dummy.” 

It was probably one of the quickest decisions you’ve ever made. After waking up again feeling alone and sad without the man you loved, you booked a flight for Montréal during the afternoon to see him. You didn’t even tell anyone, except for Max, Lando’s best friend, to make sure at least one person would be aware of your trip. You wanted to surprise your boyfriend.

You had no idea that this would become one of the most stressful days for him.

When Lando woke up on the other side of the world, you were already up in the air. He didn’t question why you weren’t answering his texts. He knew that when you were working, you tended to be so focused that you forget about the world around you. He also knew that he could call you if he was worried because that was the only thing that would make you pick up your phone. 

Somehow, Lando felt like something was off. He could put his finger on what.

If he was a fan of media duties, he couldn’t focus on anything today. His laugh sounded fake, he wasn’t smiling as much. “If something is wrong, you can tell me.” Oscar reassured him after he had to handle every interview that morning.

But he didn’t say anything. Lando wasn’t the kind to cry on anyone’s shoulder for nothing. He didn’t want to bother his teammate for just a feeling. 

Then it became more than a feeling when he still couldn’t reach you. 

You were supposed to be home. Or heading home. Anyway, you would have answered Lando’s texts already. But you didn’t.

He tried to call you. But you didn’t answer.

He asked Carlos to call you too, knowing he was one of the few drivers to have your number. But you didn’t answer either.

“Something wrong?” Carlos asked him but he refused to say anything. If he kept it to himself, it wouldn’t be real, right?

So Lando did the worst thing he could have done, he knew that. He went to the practices with fear and stress. He couldn’t think about the race or the cars or his whole career. Fuck that. All he cared about was you. He did so many mistakes he couldn’t even imagine the number of comments on social media about him being done or whatever these stupid opinions were saying. The team was already giving him a hard time on the radio.

When Lando got out of the car, he felt like he saw a ghost. Expect it wasn’t one.

It was you. Standing in the middle of the garage.

It took him a few seconds to realize that he wasn’t dreaming, that it wasn’t his mind giving him what he wanted to see. You were here. For real. Not home. But here with him.

Lando then ran to you and took you in his arms. “Oh wow I didn’t expect that to be so welcoming.” you laughed in his ears. Knowing him, you were convinced he would make a joke about you being here at the same time as his mistress. Or that you should take a shower, when he was the one dirty after racing. 

Not that he would hug you that tight. You felt him bringing him to his room and you followed him, quite perplexed on why he was reacting like that. 

It wasn’t until you were alone that you noticed he was shivering against you. 

“Hey, what’s going on?” you asked him, moving your head to see his sad face. You barely ever saw him being that miserable around you.

“You’re here…” he replied, breathless. You took his face between your hands.

“it's okay, just breathe,” you put your forehead against his and felt him relaxed slowly. 

“You didn’t answer me and I thought something had happened. I couldn’t call you, I couldn’t reach you and I thought you were… I can’t imagine my life without you!” 

“I’m not planning on leaving you.” you replied with a sweet smile, giving him a soft kiss on his lips. Lando always said that your lips had some calming power. And he wasn’t wrong. You could feel relaxed after that, like it was the proof he needed to be sure you were really here.

You spent some long minutes together in the silence. Now that he was accepting that nothing had happened to you and that you were here, for real, he was enjoying your presence. You gave him small kisses in the hair, the one he loved when he had a terrible weekend. It felt quite the same for once.

“I’m taking notes that you don’t like surprises.” you whispered in his hair.

“Not the one where I think I’m losing the love of my life, dummy.”

“Love of my life and dummy in the same sentence? What a pretty love language, Norris.” 

[my-castles-crumbling]

I have a problem Cas… I think im in love. 

Okay so, there’s this girl. We’ve been best friends like 5 years. I mean i’ve always- okay I don’t know how to explain this. 

I’m basically a fan-fiction come to fucking life. 

So i’m Demisexual, and last year I decided to come out to my family. I don’t know if other Demi ppl have preferences of gender, but I don’t. Honestly labels confuse me. I’m not sure if technically i’m Biromantic and Demisexual but hey, the point is- and what I explained to my family- that i’d be open to dating anyone. 

Basically i was telling them I wasn’t straight. (Obviously Demisexual is also about sexual activities and people and stuff but I wasn’t gonna try and explain to my parents that I don’t really get attracted to random ppl- cause they don’t get it- and I didn’t want to accidentally start talking abt sex). 

So anyway, they were not happy. Have you watched Brooklyn Nine-Nine? There’s this clip where the character Rosa comes out as Bi and her parents are like “That’s okay, since you can still date a man and marry a man and be normal” and they were like that for me (i’m a girl in case that wasn’t obvious- so they wanted me to date a man).

And I didn’t really care to be honest. I had an equal level of straight friends to queer friends, I felt suitably in both worlds. I truly love my family. They’ve always been good to me. But they did imply if I did end up with a girl, they wouldn’t want to meet/know her.

Not to mention the religious trauma. I spent a shit ton of time listening to ppl tell me that same-sex marriage and relationships are a “sin”. Hell- there was this one rlly lovely women at church when I was like 9, but she got kicked out when they congregation found out she was a lesbian. (Okay- not kicked out but like bullied into leaving).

So it was fine for me to accept that I could potentially date a women since i’ve never felt immediate attraction to anyone, it never felt totally real. 

BUT NOW I HAVE A PROBLEM. So my best friend (who is also a girl) of 5 years. She’s amazing. She’s literally the funniest person i’ve ever met, she’s so generous and has helped me so much, and she’s just adorable. She’s like fucking sunshine. And ngl, I don’t often like people who are so cheery all the time because it feels fake and I like people around me to be honest. 

But she just, she has this way of finding the beauty in the stupidest things and it’s so cute. We got splashed by a car the other day, drenched both our outfits, and instead of being mad, she got all excited and had us do a photoshoot in our crazy soaked clothes, and then got all excited that we could cuddle under a duvet and watch a movie with snacks once we got home cause apparently that’s the only acceptable thing people can do after being covered in water (which is exactly what we did).

And she’s not unreasonably happy, you know? Like when people try to cheer people up at bad times and make everyone more sad, she’s not like that. Whenever i’m upset, or mad, she’ll doodle these cute little flowers on coloured paper and write things she loves about the world on the back of them, and once i’m done ranting abt how annoying the world is, she’ll give it to me and smile. She has the best smile.

I have this jar, I write the date on them and put the paper in the jar. 

We’ve been best friends five years, she started doing that like four years ago and i’ve had the jar pretty much from the start. 

It’s always been easy to be around her. We sort of knew each other for like a year, and then I blinked, and we were best friends. I read all the books she gives me even though the plot is super cheesy cause she loves talking about them, I learnt how to bake all her favourite snacks her mum made, cause she’s pretty far from home and honestly a tragic baker. And she cooks dinner (don’t ask how she can’t bake to save her life but is the most incredible cook, it’s unbelievably ridiculous) for us a lot, she learnt to make my fav food. 

We technically live together, we’re at the final year of uni (maybe not tho depending on our next courses, I dunno) so we’ve been living together this year, but before that, I basically spent most of my time around her place anyway.

So yeah, we’re friends. But I realised a few months ago that i’m pretty, definitely, in love with her. I think i’ve felt like this for about a year and it just hadn’t quite clicked yet. 

(I had this awful day and came back to our place to see her genuinely painting our wall a different colour of white. She paints as a hobby and accidentally splatter a ton of blue paint on the wall and freaked out and tried buying white paint to cover it when it wouldn’t wash of and she was sat on the floor with white paint all over her and the wall still blue. 

She told me the story and I burst out laughing. I explained you often need white primer first, to cover the blue, and then to buy the correct shade of white, since ours was sort of chill white and she’d bought bright white. 

It’s the type of thing that would’ve annoyed me so much at the end of such a tough day, but because it was her, I just found it adorable. That’s when it clicked, I love her. She noticed I was tired immediately and felt bad cause she realised i’d had a bad day. I said this cheered me up, cause it did. Then we made dinner together and spent the night reading on the sofa with music on. 

We went to the shop the next day to get the correct stuff and luckily our wall is back to looking almost exactly the same). 

So yeah, I love her. Plus like, being demi, I don’t usually find ppl attractive… I mean i’ve always known she’s aesthetically pleasing, she has good fashion sense and stuff, but like, I tend to view all people as the same sort of level of attractive. BUT NOW ITS LIKE- SHES FUCKING BEAUTIFUL. It’s kind of annoyingly actually. How is everyone not spending all day gazing at her eyes. They’re fucking caramel, like a book character. She says they’re brown but she’s wrong. In dull lighting they seem brown but they’re like dark orange (amber i guess) with little hues of green, but in the sun they’re really bright and caramel and warm. 

She’s a lesbian btw. So theoretically I’ve got a shot. Also, i’ve always been good at reading people and I know she’s had like a small crush on me at least twice in our friendship. You can tell sometimes. 

But recently, it’s been a wreck. I’m so distracted cause i’m in love with her I can’t think, and my friends keep telling me she loves me back but I can’t keep my head on straight long enough to try and tell. 

But. If I do get my head out of my ass and tell her and she does end up wanting to date me, what the fuck am I supposed to do then. Cause if it does work out, i’m pretty sure it’ll last. 

My parents never totally liked her (they probably saw this coming- but I think in the homophobic, all queer ppl date each other, way and not the, they’re meant to be together, way) and if ended up having to tell them i’m actually dating a women, they’d be pissed. 

I always thought i’d end up with man, since it’s easier. No religious guilt about that. But I can put aside my own brains stupidity for her. But I can’t change my parents. But aside from this, they’re literally amazing. But I also know them and I truly don’t think they’ll change.

All my friends having been saying me and her should’ve been dating this entire time. I don’t know, I like to think now would be kinda perfect. I always knew she was gonna be in my life forever, I guess I just got so used to imagining myself with a man I forgot she was an option? That I could be with her romantically forever. You know, assuming she wants to date me.

(We’ll see about that. I’m really not sure. But i’m totally shit at keeping my own secrets so i’m planning to tell her soon if not just for the sake of my own sanity. All my friends say she’ll reciprocate, if she doesn’t, then I guess i’ll go from there, she’s not the type to be weird or bothered that we live together despite it. And if she does… then I have to decide what to do next. My other best friend is literally always right when it comes to our friends dating lives, and she has faith we’ll end up together, so we’ll see I guess) 

But if she does. If she does I’ll have to get into it with my family. I don’t want to lie to them. And I know I shouldn’t judge, but I honestly don’t think they’ll change their minds. I think they’ll say I can come visit whenever, but not bringing my partner. And I won’t want that. And we’ll all argue.  

I never liked knowing my parents didn’t accept this side of me, but I guess I never considered it would be an actual problem i’d have to deal with someday. 

I spend a lot of my time trying to figure myself out. I haven’t had the easiest path in life. But with her, it’s so easy. It’s easier to understand what I like, it’s easier to talk about things, and I fully trust her not to be weird. Or leave. Or get mad for nothing. I don’t have to walk on eggshells around her. I trust her. We don’t argue much. We have, what she calls, three different type of arguments. 

One, “bad mood argues”. She finds it so hilarious that it rhymes. You have to say it with the syllables. Bad-Mood Ar-Gues. We have these cookies in the freezer that we make every month. If one of us is having a bad day, we cook a few cookies to eat and I bought this dumb fridge magnet of a cookie to put on the fridge to signify it’s a cookie worthy bad day. 

Another one is “justifiable anger”. That doesn’t happen much. When we first met, she had this tendency to not tell me when I did something that upset her, and it’d spiral, and i’d be mad she wasn’t talking about why she was mad. So we have a rule to always talk about problems, even the little things. For example, her yelling into the phone to her family for hours while i’m trying to study- she has planned days now, so I can go to the library or she can go out if necessary, or keep the convo below 45 min, her mums like half deaf so she does have to shout, but it’s also VERY loud. Basically we comprise. And make sure no anger builds up.

The third type of argument is, what our friends call, “married idiots”. As in, she shouldn’t use the siri talk thingy while driving cause it never understands what she’s trying to say and so I get jumbled texts that mean nothing and then she thinks she’s told me something she hasn’t told me. She’s nearly understanding that one 🤦‍♀️ And you know, the classic colour of something argument (it’s purple- she’s wrong).  

Anyway. I forgot my point. Oh yeah, everything’s easier with her. I feel comfortable. If i’m being totally honest… i’m pretty sure if I ask her out, she’ll say yes. Like 80% sure. Im just scared to fuck this up, and cause family problems. Cause yeah, she’s worth the drama, but also, it’s her that’ll be being insulted right? She very likely won’t be allowed in my house. I don’t want this to ruin what we already have. 

So yeah. That. I could really do with some advice ❤️

Hi <3

If you do not ask this girl out, I will physically pass away.

Like...I'm not usually so pushy with asks, but you're describing a relationship, hon. This is a relationship. I'm not sure if you follow me because of the Marauders, but you two are literally Wolfstar, And I'm shipping the two of you so hard right now.

If, for some insane reason, she turns you down, it's because she doesn't realize she's in love with you, too.

As far as your family...again, I'm going to be more blunt that usual. You're going to have to face their lack of acceptance for you at some point. It's absolutely shit that they don't accept you, but like...don't let that stop you from being with this girl. Because even if you put off their feelings now, you'll have to deal with it someday, and then you might miss out on an amazing girl.

Please update me. I need updates. I am so invested. I am DYING for updates.

God, I'm rereading all the things you wrote and I'm kicking and giggling. You two are ridiculously adorable. Please kiss her already (with consent).

I'm naming you purple anon. Please write back.

[pensat-i-fet]

The way he makes you smile (Rúben Dias x Reader, ft Mason Mount)

**Hi! I got this request a couple of weeks ago and there was some conversation about it. I was also made aware that this idea has been done before but I haven't read any of those stories so take this just as my spin on the premise. And enjoy reading! ❤️**

Word count: 2556

Masterlist

Wattpad

Everyone loved love stories like yours. The childhood friends that separated only to meet again and become a couple. And you loved it too…until you didn’t.

Mason was the love of your life. You’ve known him since you were a baby, really. And probably fell in love with him when you were only 5. But there were a lot of moments in your life where you had to separate because he moved to London, and then he went to The Netherlands for a year, …and it was tough to see him leave you behind but you understood. Everyone just expected you to get over your crush and move on at some point. But you didn’t. And one time when he came back home to visit his family, he finally confessed he felt the same way about you.

That had been 2 years ago. 24 months of happiness by your soulmate’s side…or so people thought. Because after the first year, the cracks in your relationship started to show.

“Are you even happy?”, asked you one of your friends when you confessed to her that you and Mason had been having problems.

“Of course. I couldn’t ask for anything better. I have a good job, family is healthy and I’m dating the best guy”.

“Tell that to your fake smile. Honey…I’m not looking forward to you two breaking up knowing how that would break your heart but you aren’t happy. You’re arguing all the time, even in front of people. You look so sad and I want you to go back to how you used to be. I know it’s hard to let go of your first love but sometimes it’s for the best”.

“I…”.

“I know. Just think about it. Think about the pros and cons. And try and take the best decision for you. Because that’s who matters, you. You always put everyone else before you and it needs to stop”.

And she was right, of course she was. So that was why after another big fight over the stupidest thing, you finally put yourself first.

“We can’t do this anymore, Mason”.

“What do you mean?”

“This. Us. It’s destroying us. We are always fighting and we barely see each other so…how is that living? I feel like if maybe we stop now, we could at least save our friendship. Maybe even try this out again in the future. When we’re in different places in our lives”.

His look was of pure shock, mixed with anger. He really wasn’t used to being told something like this.

“Do you not love me?”

“I love you too much, Mason. Too much to force you, and to force me, to stay in this toxic relationship. We’re hurting each other”.

“Is there someone else?”

He had to be kidding.

“No! There is no one else! See? We can’t even talk without you turning everything into a fight!”

“Because you’re giving up on me. On us”.

“Someone has to. Before we destroy each other”.

And with those final words, you left him there. It broke your heart, but you knew you were doing the right thing.

What you needed in that moment was a fresh start and your job provided you with one. Most people couldn’t believe that you were willing to move from London to Manchester. To a smaller office and a smaller position in the company. But you just couldn’t stay in London anymore. Manchester wasn’t that far away but…it was better. The distance helped.

And the city also had something else waiting for you to help mend your broken heart. Well, not a something but a someone.

“Sorry”, you heard someone say in the middle of Sainsbury’s. “I know this sounds weird but I’ve seen you here shopping a few times and it’s driving me insane not knowing where I know you from”.

You looked up at the man talking to you and he looked familiar too. And when you looked at him properly, you knew exactly why he thought he knew you.

                                       –

                        6 months earlier

“Who’s that looking at us? He looks familiar”.

Mason turned to see who you meant and rolled his eyes. “Rúben Dias. He plays for City and I met him once at an F1 GP”.

“Right”.

You remembered that GP. Because you were supposed to attend with him but a big fight a few days prior made you stay home. Another plan ruined by your fights.

The man, Rúben, approached you to say hello to your boyfriend.

“Hi Mason, how are you?”

“Good, thanks. We need to go. See you later”.

“Ok?”

Rúben’s confusion at Mason’s behaviour mirrored yours.

“Why were you so rude to him?”

“How could I not be? He’s been staring at you the whole time”.

“Mason”, you said with a sigh. “He doesn’t know me. If anything, he would have been staring at you”.

“I’m not the one wearing that dress”.

“I thought you liked this dress. You bought it for me”.

“I like it. I don’t like guys drooling around you when you wear it”.

You were tired. Too tired. And not ready for another argument in front of so many people. So you just let the comment slide…there would be time to fight about it once you two were back home.

                                       –

“You’re Rúben, right?”

“So you know me too?”, he laughed. “Now I’m even more confused. But also intrigued. Please put me out of my misery”.

You laughed as well. “We saw each other at an event months ago. I was there with Mason Mount”.

“Oh”, you could tell the moment when it all clicked. “I remember now”.

“We aren’t together anymore”.

“Good”.

His words surprised you. Why would he say that?

“I mean. I only know the guy from playing against him and partying together once but when I saw him with you…no one deserves to be treated like that”.

“I know. That’s why I left”.

The way he smiled at you reminded you of how your friend had when you told her about leaving Mason. They both looked proud of you.

After that chat in the supermarket, you promised to meet again. It would be good for you to have a friend in Manchester that wasn’t just someone from your office.

Rúben ended up being someone you could talk to, someone who could help you, someone who understood you like no one had before. So falling for him was just something inevitable.

And everything was perfect but still…you worried. Rúben had to play against Mason. And, even if he respected your wish to be private, one day you’d have to tell the world you were together. And the reaction from Mason worried you. But also, what about his family? His fans? Even random people just judging you for dating two football players…facing everyone’s opinions terrified you.

“You need to stop”, mumbled Rúben.

“What do I need to stop? I thought you were sleeping”.

“I was, but the light from your screen woke me up. You’re addicted, my love. Wait until you leave the bed to check social media”.

You laughed at his complaint. He was right and you knew it but it was hard to change some habits.

It was when you were about to block your phone to enjoy your boyfriend’s kisses that you saw it.

Mason Mount agrees personal terms with Manchester United.

The phone fell from your hands and that caught Rúben’s attention. “So clumsy. See? Another reason to not be on your phone in bed”, he laughed. “We don’t want it to fall on your pretty face”.

“Mason is going to sign for United”.

“Huh?”

You showed the article to him.

“It’s ok”, he tried to reassure you.

“It just complicates things more…”.

“It doesn’t if we don’t allow it to. Your ex is moving to this city, big deal. It’s big enough for the three of us, I swear”.

“But he’ll play for United…”.

“It’s not as if he’s signing for City. That would be a bit trickier, not gonna lie. But I’ve played against him this season and it was fine”.

“Ok, I’ll believe you. But I have a bad feeling about this”.

The feeling never left you but…nothing happened. Mason moved to Manchester and didn’t even try to contact you. He was living his own life while you lived yours.

That was…until things changed.

On a Wednesday off with no matches, you and Rúben made your way to Bruno Fernandes’ house. The Portuguese players sometimes hosted a little get-together to catch up, even if they played for rival teams. You were literally the only non-Portuguese there but they still made you feel like one of them.

But people didn’t get they could be friends and rivals at the same time, so you kept those meetings private. Private like Bruno’s private Instagram account where he posted a story where you were seating next to Rúben. His arm was around your shoulder to bring you closer to him and the smiles on your faces couldn’t be bigger.

Bruno didn’t have many followers on that private account because that way he could make sure no one leaked anything private to the press. But he let his teammates follow him. And that meant that Mason was now following his account. So on that Wednesday night, when he was scrolling on Instagram totally bored, he saw the story. He saw you and Rúben together. And no one could see that photo and not know you two were a couple.

However, he didn’t call you to ask for an explanation. He didn’t tell Bruno about it either, to try and get information from his teammate. He waited until he had to meet Rúben at the Manchester derby to do something.

“Are you the reason she broke up with me?”, he said when the players were about to go out to warm up.

“I don’t know how you’ve found out but leave her alone”.

“Answer my question”.

“I didn’t know her then so no, I wasn’t the reason why she left you. It was all your doing”.

“What do you know about our private life?”

“Enough to want to smash your face against a wall but I won’t do it because it’s not worth it. And now she is with someone who treats her the way she deserves to be treated. That’s all that matters to me”.

Mason didn’t like that answer. At all. And so he spent the whole match trying to provoke Rúben to get a reaction from him but found none. The only thing he found was his way to the bench in the second half, after being told off by his coach for not focusing on the match.

“Shaw needs to do the post-match interviews”, said one of the media people.

“He’s injured and receiving treatment. Send someone else”.

“I’ll do it”, said Mason and no one thought much of it.

The Sky Sports reporter asked him all the same boring questions he was so used to answering. But she also asked the one he was waiting for.

“We also saw you seemed to have some issues with Rúben Dias. It almost seemed personal”, she laughed.

“It was. He stole my girl after all”.

The reporter’s jaw almost hit the floor but Mason didn’t allow her to recover and ask more questions before leaving.

When you saw the clip on social media, you felt like you were going to faint. Rúben saw it too and tried to get back home as fast as possible. For once, you weren’t in the stadium with him. Now he was happy you were nowhere near your ex.

“I can’t believe he did that”, was all you said when he got home.

And he knew words meant nothing at that point, so he just hugged you while you cried. Waiting for you to let all the tears out.

“What do you want to do?”, he finally said.

“What do you mean?”

“Do you want us to respond? I could get my team to write everything before we publish it to make sure it’s well written. Or we could not say anything. He doesn’t get to change how we handle our relationship”.

“You should probably deny what he said. Your reputation…”.

“You think I care about my reputation right now?”, asked Rúben. And you had never seen him looking so serious. “I promised he would never make you cry again and look at you right now”.

“You can’t protect me from everything, Rúben”.

“Why?”

That finally made you laugh. “Because that’s how life is. And it’s not your fault. It’s only his”.

After debating what was the best strategy to follow, you decided to make your relationship public. Well, it already was thanks to Mason. But you were now able to tell your side of the story.

It was a long post where you mentioned breaking up with Mason before moving to Manchester, where you met Rúben. You made it clear there had been no cheating involved, which was very important for you. Cheaters made you sick so being compared to one was the worst feeling. And you just basically made it clear that you and Rúben still planned to keep a low profile and asked for people not to invade your privacy.

Even after that post, you expected to get a lot of abuse on social media. But what you didn’t expect was to get a message from Mason.

[Mason]: I’m sorry about what I did. Can we please talk? No tricks. I just need to talk to you.

“Rúben? You need to see this”.

You showed him the text and he frowned while reading it. “Do you want me to go with you if you meet him?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea”.

“But you going alone…”.

“I think I need to do this. I don’t know how to explain it but I just do”.

“I trust your instinct. Do whatever feels right to you”.

So over a year after leaving Mason, you were in front of him again. There was your friend, your first love, the person you thought you were going to spend your life with…and now he felt like a stranger.

“I’m sorry”, he said and you nodded. “I went crazy when I saw you with someone else. And the fact that it was another player…it’s irrational but it hurt more for some reason”.

“I guess I can understand that. But it’s not like I did it on purpose. My life would be a lot easier dating an average Joe, you know?”

“Easier maybe, but not better, right? I saw how happy you looked with him. You never looked that happy with me”.

“I was happy…”, you tried to defend yourself but he lifted a hand to stop you.

“But not that happy. And I’m glad you are. I’m glad you found someone who can make you smile like that”.

“Then why did you try and shame me in front of millions of people?”

“Because I felt shame myself. Shame about how it all ended for us. Shame that it wasn’t me who made you happy. But I’ve made my peace. Next time I talk to the media I’ll tell them I lied. You deserve to keep smiling the way he makes you smile instead of all the tears I caused”.

[deadsnothere]

HE WAS AWAKE?!

synopsis - Someone who's to stubborn finally asks for help but also gets a love confession in their "sleep"

Masterlist

request - No

Word Count - 1.1k

Speak Ali! - This was full impulse don't expect anymore out of me- (do expect more out of me) Unless i feel like it. But I might not- Who knows honestly. Please send in request!! I am only accepting Lockwood right now, sorry :(

HE WAS AWAKE?! Pt.2

Lockwood barley asks for help,

And we all know it. He's an idiot who thinks he can do everything alone, no matter what. Me, George, And Lucy are always his anchors, we keep him from doing the stupidest shit, even if that means distracting him in less than ideal ways. Like aggressive flirting, just to let Lucy steal a case file. But we still get it done.

So when Anthony Lockwood himself knocked on my door at 2 in the morning with the most exhausted look on his face, let's just say I was more than concerned.

I was changing out of my ‘work’ shirt to put on an undershirt to fall asleep in. I'd been working on a new flare design all night and the shirt I was originally going to go to bed in had ash and grease all over it. when I heard a knock on the door. There he was my roommate, Employer, and “crush”, Anthony Lockwood. “Ant, what's up?- It's 2:36 in the morning, I was about to get in bed-”

His face screamed tired, his eye bags were deeper than normal and his hands were playing with the seam of his pajama pants pocket, like he does when he's nervous.

“I-” He whispered as if he was hesitant to ask in the first place. ”I can't sleep and I always sleep best when- You're in my room…just-” The way he rubbed the back of his neck, looking down at the ground, told me he was embarrassed. “Can I just sleep in here tonight…?” Anthony looked almost as if he regretted asking, like he should've just walked away instead of knocking on the door; Which he now stood in front of, wide open.

I nodded along with his words, moving away from my door and walking to my bed. “Just close the door after you come in, sleeping with it open-” He finished the sentence with me, already knowing what I was going to say. “-‘gives me anxiety’ I know Ali.”

When he walked into the room slowly, he was looking around at the posters and metal creations that hung from the walls and ceiling. There were things like metal dragons, butterflies with dazzling colors, Firefly's with handcrafted wings and many more insects and mystical creatures. “After we complete big cases I make a little statue and I hang it around the room…It's like reminding myself how far I’ve come.” His eyes landed on me next, I was already sitting on the bed, smiling at him warmly, my eyes closed, head leaned back from exhaustion.

“Come on Ant.” I patted next to me, laying down on my back moving closer to the wall so he had room to lay down to.

His posture says he's confident, like he's not afraid to make a wrong move. But his eyes are different. They look so hesitant, so terrified of how this could look to other people.

After a case went bad yesterday, Barnes called me Anthony's lover. He's been on edge since then, Maybe it hurt a bit when he got so defensive over the fact that I was in fact not his lover. It already hurts when I know he's just a flirty person to get what he wants, that when he flirts with me it doesn't mean I'm special. Now this? At least I know he doesn't like me back, before I went and tried to ask him on a date or something.

I faced towards the wall when he climbed into the bed, pulling the soft blanket over us both. Our routine moved like it did when I went into his room to sleep. His arm hooked under my body and pulled me into his chest, which felt cool with the silk pajama shirt he had on at the moment. Our legs tangled together, his face was pressed into the nape of my neck, and our breathing matched almost perfectly. This felt so normal, so nonchalant. But this is Lockwood we're talking about! He wouldn't do this with just anyone! Would he?

Ok, no he wouldn't- But he just trusts me! We’ve been friends for years, of course he trusts me. It's obvious I’m just a friend to him, and yes maybe it's not a friend thing to cuddle up to your friend while you press your face into their neck…like I said he just trusts me! It's a simple platonic thing to do when you go to a friend you trust for help sleeping!

But it would be so nice if he didn't mean it in a friendly way..For him to hold my hand, and laugh and walk with me to go on a date, Or maybe to cook dinner for our kids or babysitting…That sounds like heaven, an unrealistic heaven. But to be fair I do already basically babysit, but it's always me and George babysitting, not me and lockwood, mainly because we're babysitting him and Lucy during cases but still I can dream.

I turned my head around just enough to see his face, eyes closed, breathing soft, and nose pushed against my neck still. I tried to turn just enough to not wake him up but also be able to see him. I'm really hoping I didn't wake him up, or that he was really asleep, because this next part would be embarrassing if I did.

I placed a hand on his face, kissing the top of his head and running my hand through his hair. “I Love You, Anthony Lockwood. You stupid self-sacrificing idiot.” I turned around all the way and moved up a bit, his face laid on my chest, and my arms wrapped around his head holding him close.

Finally comfortable enough to fall asleep. It's been so long since I got a good sleep in my own bed, maybe the feeling of his hands on my back, pushing me closer to him, really did help me sleep, Maybe it made me feel protected, like I can be vulnerable again, like i'm safe in his ar- “Did you just call me a self-sacrificing idiot?-” SHIT-

thank you for reading to the end of this shit :D i can't promise a part two but hey i'll try.

[enhastolemyheart]

BROKEN — P. SH

pairing sunghoon x reader

genre angst, unrequited love (?)

synopsis who knew that you would be too late when it came to confessing to your childhood crush?

warnings crying, overthinking, proofread but lmk if any mistakes

word count 1.2k

networks @k-films @/hyfenet

note HI! I'm back with a fic!! I wanted to write something out real quick and was feeling like angsty saur this is the result!! Hope you guys like it :)

Why can’t I just say how I feel? Why can't I just let Sunghoon know?

It shouldn’t be hard. It should be natural. The most natural thing on earth. Everyone does it, right? Everyone’s always done it. It’s nothing. Just one small step. A few words. A few taps of a keyboard, even.

I reach for my phone. I’m gonna do it. I could call you, or… no. I’ll text. It’s less stressful that way, for me and for you. It lets us make sure we say precisely what we mean. Less chance for misunderstandings.

I open up my messages and scroll to your name. It’s not hard to find. I could pick your face out of a crowd anywhere. Opening the conversation, I start to type.

Hey Sunghoon, I was just wondering, would you maybe-

No.

That’s not good. It’s too weak. Too apprehensive. You’d smell the fear through the screen. I need to project confidence. I try again.

Hey, do you want to go to dinner with me sometime?

I ponder this for a while, eventually shaking my head. It’s too abrupt and unclear. You might not realise that I mean as a date. You might think I’m talking about a casual platonic meetup. That’s not a mistake I want to make. I want you to know what I’m asking. I want to know what your answer means. Sighing, I glance around my room, searching for inspiration. It’s a waste of time. Hundreds of books and movies, yet not a single one can give me the answers I need. In desperation, I turn to the world’s most treacherous source of advice. The internet.

Sure, there’s a lot of garbage on there, but if you slog past the cheesy pick-up lines and pseudo-psychology, there really are a few hidden gems. Not that I can find them. Almost everything I read is about dating in person. Standing up straight. Projecting confidence through physicality. Maybe even a bit of light contact, a hand on the arm, that sort of thing. Solid advice, but utterly useless to me since, you know, you’re halfway across the country right now. Still, slowly but surely, I cobble something together that sounds more or less decent.

Hey, I know you were back in town recently. How about Friday we go for dinner at that pizza place you like, then afterwards take a walk through the park? They’ve revamped the gardens, and I think you’d love them.

Dinner and a romantic, moonlit walk. That sounds like a date, I suppose. I’ve managed to make my intentions clear. Plus, I sound confident. No umming and ahhing, no self-defeatism. The best thing of all is it gives you an easy out. If you’re not interested, you can say you’re busy that night. If you genuinely are busy, you can suggest another time. It’s not like the park is going anywhere.

The message is perfect. I’ve done it.

I’m ready.

Now, there’s only one thing left to do.

It’s just a shame it’s the hardest thing of all. My finger hovers over the send button, unable to take that final step. I keep telling myself to just press it and get this whole thing over with. But that annoying little voice in my head keeps arguing. What if they say no? What if they decide they hate me? What if they don’t want to talk to me anymore? It’s times like this that I wish I drink. A little bit of liquid courage is exactly what I need right now. That’d shut the damn voice up. But I don’t take a drink. Instead, I do the stupidest thing possible. I give myself time to think. Yeah. I’m an idiot.

Before long, that little voice is running rampant. What am I doing? This is stupid. So, so stupid. Sure, I want more from our relationship. But what if you don’t? What if, by doing this, I ruin our friendship? I don’t want to lose you. I tell myself again and again that I’m overthinking. That you aren’t like that. That it would take more than a bit of awkwardness to drive a wedge between us. But I’m not convinced.

Sure, maybe we’d be fine for now. But what if you find someone else? Will they be okay with us being friends, knowing how I feel about you? I’m not so sure. Besides, I know that you’re not exactly looking for a relationship right now. Truth be told, it’s probably not the best time for me either. But that shouldn’t matter, not really. If two people are right for each other, they can overcome anything, can’t they? The timing might not be ideal, but we can get past it.

Then again- I almost scream in frustration. I can’t do this anymore. Picking up my phone, I delete the message, deciding to wait until you’re back and tell you how I feel face to face. It’ll be better that way. I can put all that advice to use and win you over with my charming smile.

I’m lying to myself, of course.

I know the odds are good that I’ll still find a way to bottle it. I’ll still talk myself down. But maybe, just maybe, I won’t. Maybe I’ll find a way to beat that annoying little voice. Do you know what the worst thing is? You probably think I won’t say anything because you don’t mean enough to me. That my fear of rejection is stronger than my feelings for you. You couldn’t be more wrong. In a weird, paradoxical way, the strength of my feelings for you are what stops me from saying anything. You’re amazing. The most perfect human being I’ve ever met. Every time I see your smile, my heart soars like an eagle. And when I hear your laugh, dimple on display, my body glows with happiness. Even when I’m just listening to you vent about your troubles, I feel like I’m hearing a classic tale equal to anything Shakespeare, Austen, Hemingway ever created.

Because you’ve nailed the most important part of storytelling. You’ve made me care about the protagonist. You’ve made me care about you. And I couldn’t bear it if I did something stupid enough to drive you from my life.

The next couple of weeks pass in a blur. I throw myself into school work, glad of the distraction. In the brief moments I let myself think of you, I begin to convince myself that I really will tell you how I feel. That by not saying anything, I could be robbing us of so much time together. By the week before you’re due back, I’m certain. The next time I see you, I’m asking you out.

My muscles finally relaxing, I slump back into a chair. I’ve spent a long day at my desk and am ready to unwind. Turning on the TV, I grab my phone and begin mindlessly scrolling through social media to catch up with what my friends have been doing. I see some pictures of you celebrating a friends' birthday. I smile. You’re happy, and that makes me happy.

But then I swipe to the last picture and see you wrapped up in somebody else’s arms, your rosy lips pressed against theirs.

Fuck.

My head spins. My chest tightens. I feel like I’m about to pass out.

Putting down my phone, I put my head in my hands and start to cry. Why didn’t I tell you how I feel? Why didn’t I atleast try to see if you felt the same way? Why do I have to be so damn broken?

a/n: tysm for reading!! Hope y'all liked it

perm taglist: @jak-ey ; @snoowhore ; @hsgwrld ; @seungiesluv ; @1-800shutthefuckup ; @heeseungshim (send an ask to be added)

[simmerdowndee]

uni_dayz episode twelve part eight

It’s our last night in Tomarang. Earlier today, we all went shopping around the tourist/market district. I found some very pretty jewelry and trinkets to take back with me. Theo tried to buy me everything I saw but I had to remind him, he still needed money for when he goes back to Windenburg. Sadly, he won’t be able to just come home with me.

Later that night, Theo asks me to get ready as he has a surprise for me. I’m not sure what he has planned to see, but most places are closed at this point.

We leave the house, and he takes me back to the resort club we were at earlier, but this time its only us and he set a romantic dinner for us.

Dakota: Awhh, Theo.

Theo: I wanted to do something special for you. We haven’t been on a real date in a while….

Theo: Here, let’s sit.

Dakota: This is really sweet babe.

Theo: I just wanted some alone time with you, without the group seeing I have to go back tomorrow.

Dakota: *Sighs* 

Theo: But I’ll be back home in 2 weeks.

Dakota: I know.

Theo: Let’s not worry about that right now. Let’s just enjoy the night.

Dakota: My favorite bottle again.

Theo: Its actually pretty good, you have good taste.

I know.

Theo and I spent the night talking about things we missed with each other while he was away. It seems like he enjoyed the program.

We talked about my clerkship and time at the firm. He was really proud that I was able to work on a that case.

I told him about how my mom and dad have been seeing each other and think I have no idea. They aren’t really good at being secretive.

It felt so normal to just be out with him and talk like we normally do. Once we finished dinner, Theo said he had one last thing for me.

We ended up at this private rental a few mins from ours.

Dakota: Why are we here?

Theo: I figured we could stay here tonight, so we can be alone.

Dakota: Theo, this looks very expensive.

Theo: I’m not worried about the money; I just want to spend time with you.

How much money is that program paying him?

When we get to our room, we put our stuff down and head to take a bath. It was so relaxing. Afterwards, we get ready for bed.

Dakota: Theo, now that we are back together, I wanted to talk to you about something.

Theo: Is everything okay?

Dakota: Yeah, I just want this to start off very clean, with everything on the table.

Theo: Okay.

Dakota:  For about 6 months, Noah and I dated.

Dakota: We never had sex, but we did date.

Dakota: We broke up because he knew I wasn’t over you….

Theo: I know baby.

Um, how the hell does he know?

Theo: Who do you think called me to come here?

nofuckingway

Dakota: That’s how you knew where we were.

Theo: Noah called me late the night before I got here and asked if I wanted to join you guys. He met me at the airport bar when I arrived, and he told me everything.

Theo: It was literally perfect timing because I was missing you really bad. So, I got on the next flight to be with you.

Dakota: You traveled over 9 hours in the middle of the night, because you wanted to be with me?

Theo: And I’d do it again.

Theo: We should’ve never broken up. That was the stupidest shit I’ve ever done.

Theo: I missed out on so many moments with you.

Theo: I hurt you & I’ll never forgive myself.

Dakota: Baby.

Well, if I didn’t believe him before, I definitely believe him now when he said he missed me.

Theo: I don’t ever want to lose you again. I love you, Dakota. I love you so much. I’m so sorry again.

Dakota: I love you too Theo. I forgive you.

We enjoyed the rest of the night with each other seeing it will be our last for 2 weeks. I don’t want it to end, I don’t want to go back home.

The next morning…

We’re all at the airport getting ready to head back home. I’m pretty sad because I finally got Theo back and I still have to be without him for a little while longer…

Theo and I are just going to hang out until my flight is ready to depart. He departs after mine.

Across the room

Laura: Look at them. They are so damn happy with each other. That’s all she needed.

Laura: Which is why you called him, huh?

Noah: I don’t know what you are talking about….

Laura: Mhm. You really did love her. So much that you put your own feelings aside to make her happy.

Noah: I told you; her heart is back where it belongs.

Back to Theo and Dakota

Dakota: Hey, where did you go? Is everything okay with your flight?

Theo: Yes, actually perfect. I have a surprise for you.

Dakota: What?

Theo: I talk to the customer service, and they were able to switch your flight, so that you’re ending destination is Windenburg…

Dakota: Wait, you want me to come with you?

Theo: I think we’ve been apart for long enough.

Theo: I was even able to get the seat next to me, so we can sit next to each other.

Dakota: Theo, are you serious?!!?

Theo: I didn’t want to have to wait to see you again.

Dakota: I love you.

Theo: I love you too babe.

Dakota: Let me go say bye to Laura and Noah.

I head over to tell them the news.

Laura: You say your temporary goodbyes?

Dakota: Actually, I’m not going home with you guys….

Laura: Wut.

Dakota: Theo wants me to come back to Windenburg with him. He got my flight changed.

Noah: That’s exciting Koda.

Laura: How you just gone abandon us?

Dramatic Laura strikes again.

Dakota: I will see you guys in two weeks when we both get back.

Dakota: Noah, can I talk to you before you go?

Noah: Of course.

Noah and I go off to the side.

Dakota: I just wanted to say thank you.

Noah: For what?

Dakota: For bringing Theo here. You didn’t have to do that.

Noah: I meant what I said to you Koda.

Dakota: What’s that?

Noah: I want to make you happy.

Goddamn it Noah.

Dakota: I’m so happy you are my best friend.

Noah: Am I now over Laura?

*Dakota laughs*

Dakota: Thank you again. I’ll see you back in Britechester soon.

Noah: Enjoy Windenburg.

I give Noah a kiss on the cheek and head back to Theo. Laura and Noah are getting ready to board. I’m excited to see Windenburg but most of all, experience it with the love of my life.

[purplesurveys]

1609

1. What were your summers like as a kid? Pretty...nonexistent? ‘Summer’ just meant vacations from school and we never did anything as a family then. I feel regretful about it sometimes, especially knowing that other kids went out of town or the country, but it becomes easier to understand once I remind myself that my parents were just working thrice as hard then so we could be comfortable today.

2. Do you enjoy thrilling rides like rollercoasters? I never enjoyed amusement parks and my stomach has never responded well to rides. When I find myself at a fair with friends, I’m always the first to volunteer to watch over their bags while they go on the rides.

3. Who was your childhood hero? My dad.

4. What is your favorite book? I haven’t found it yet and dunno if I ever will.

5. What do you find most attractive about your crush? Can celebrity crushes count? He’s very smart.

6. What’s your favorite outfit? I love these Korean-style trousers I recently got in chestnut and olive green. Manages to look stylish and still feel comfy at the same time.

7. Does seeing people in love make you happy? Sad? Annoyed? Of course I feel a general sense of happiness for anyone who’s found their person, but to be honest I’m not interested in hearing stories of how relationships came about. Once I find myself in the middle of such a conversation, I either automatically zone out or just internally cringe altogether.

8. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? I wouldn’t really call them stuffed animals...but I have several plushies, yeah.

9. What CD did you play to death as a kid? Beyoncé’s Dangerously in Love and Madonna’s The Immaculate Collection.

10. Hike to a mountain top to watch the sunrise or drive out of town to stargaze? I love roadtrips and looking at the stars, so you can kinda tell which one I’m leaning towards. It would be very hard to convince me to hike, and much much more so in the morning. 11. What song has the most relatable song lyrics to you? I feel as though Namjoon’s Wild Flower does this best these days. 

12. Iced drinks or hot drinks? Iced, can’t stand hot drinks.

13. Bright colors or neutral tones? Neutral.

14. Breakfast for dinner or pizza for breakfast? Pizza for breakfast sounds yum and I’ve had it quite a few times, too. Having breakfast for dinner just sounds a little bit too underwhelming, considering I view dinner as the main/biggest meal of the day.

15. Do you have a green thumb or a black thumb? Idk what a black thumb is but I’ll go with that because one thing I’m sure about is that I cannot grow plants to save my life.

16. What’s your favorite feature of yours? My fingers, eyelashes, and dimple.

17. Would you rather be a lawyer or a doctor? Doctor. I had an extremely brief period fantasizing about becoming a lawyer, but that was quickly shot down when I realized how much I would realistically cry in law school. I feel like working towards becoming a doctor would have been the more feasible of the two since I 1) liked at least one branch of science (biology), and 2) didn’t usually have problems with memorization.

18. What type do you tend to go for physically? I’ve rarely felt attraction so I’m not even sure if I have a type. If I happen to have one, I haven’t figured it out yet.

19. Power of invisibility or flight? Flight. Free travel! I feel as though invisibility and snooping around may lead me to see or hear things I wouldn’t want to encounter.

20. Would you rather wake up with your makeup magically done or your hair? Hair.

21. What’s the stupidest fight you’ve ever gotten into? My sister and I have gotten into some pretty pointless and immature 10-minute squabbles, as siblings do.

22. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen someone do in public? I had a classmate who used to drain out the ink from her pens and mix dried leaves and a bunch of other dirt that she could find outside in it.

23. What’s your dream date? A quiet museum trip where we both appreciate the exhibits and not feel pressured to talk throughout; and wrapping it up with dinner where the conversations can otherwise naturally flow.

24. Do you tend to gravitate more toward using logic or intuition to make decisions? Logic, I think.

25. Do you like parties? They can be fun, yes.

26. Did you enjoy high school? The last couple of years, yes. I struggled to adjust and make friends from freshman to sophomore year.

27. Who is the craziest person in your family and why? My mom can be obsessive and she is also the stubbornest person I know. She would never admit she is wrong and I’ve never heard her say sorry to her kids. I also know that she thinks less of her children because she is the parent - “I’m the mother, you’re just my child” is a familiar saying in the household.

28. What’s your favorite holiday tradition? Doing Monito Monita with a certain family from my mom’s side on Christmas Eve.

29. Can you describe your laugh? It rings a little bit but it’s never loud enough to stand out. I also tend to snicker.

30. Instagram or Twitter? Instagram is like this big meadow filled with flowers that you can run around freely on, lmao. As much as I can enjoy being on Twitter, it also feels like walking on a bed of nails.

31. What’s a show that everyone loves that you didn’t? Grey’s Anatomy. I guess it’s the fault of my own expectations, too – I thought it was going to be Breaking Bad-levels of serious (because duh? hospitals?) and was surprised when the scenes turned out to be so cheesy.

32. What song is stuck in your head? Dreamers by Jungkook is stuck in my head because I’m currently half-watching a video where the chorus is just repeatedly playing, lol. 33. Do you like exercising? Hate it. Sorry, future 40-year-old self.

34. Do you scare easily? Very much so. I can be so jumpy.

35. Who are your top 5 celebrity crushes? I have 7 and it’s kinda clear who they would be.

36. If you could learn one language fluently what would it be? Korean.

37. Would you fly to the moon if given the opportunity? I mean if it were for a genuine scientific purpose then yeah. I wouldn’t just accept a commercial flight to the moon or outer space.

38. What’s your favorite flower? Peonies.

39. What non-sexual touch affects you the most? Touching my hair is a rare form of intimacy I enjoy.

40. Do you enjoy cuddling? Not really.

41. Do you like valentine’s day? It’s fun to celebrate when you’re not single, I’ll say that much.

42. Do you enjoy driving and are you a good driver? I enjoy it in a sense that I have a complete hold over my time, and knowing how to drive just makes everything more convenient. Going out for dinner but I have 48347394 bags? Leave them all in the car. Mom telling me to go back home when I’m still in an intriguing convo with friends? I have the keys, lol. Idk if I’m a good driver but I definitely follow the rules, use my turn signals, and am probably the most generous driver alive haha.

43. What would you be most likely to become famous for? Writing.

44. Do you have a favorite quote? Not a quote exactly but a song lyric - “I hope you don't forget that giving up decisively also counts as courage.”

45. Are you a romantic? I definitely can be.

46. Do you have any tattoos or want to get one? Nope and kinda yup.

47. Biggest pet peeve? It doubles as a judgmental, not-so-understanding trait of mine, but the act of being overly picky about food.

48. Favorite personality trait about yourself? I would always put others’ needs first way before my own.

49. Sum up your type in three words. I don’t know.

50. Do you listen to Kpop and if so who is your bias and why? Yes. Namjoon from BTS...he’s just so smart ugh.

51. What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed awake? Little over 24 hours, but haven’t done that since college.

52. Hot or cold weather? COLD. I’d rather be layered up than sweat through my clothes.

53. Bouquet of flowers or box of chocolates? Flowers.

54. Can you do any good impressions? Just Kermit the Frog and Mr. Bean, which are both relatively easy to imitate lol.

55. What’s the best prank you’ve been witness to? Honestly the prank where my parents handed me a brand new Macbook box only to reveal my then-current, broken-down laptop inside was a pretty good prank hahaha (yes, they did give me an actual new laptop minutes after).

56. Favorite dessert? Cheesecakes, macarons, or cupcakes with chocolate frosting!

57. Is there a vine or tik tok you quote often? “A child.”

58. What tumblr post always makes you laugh?

59. What country that you haven’t been to do you want to visit most? Morocco.

60. Can you cook and do you enjoy it? I can’t. I don’t know how to, at least.

61. What’s your guilty pleasure movie? TWILIGHT

62. What’s your comfort movie? Toy Story or Love Actually.

63. Is there a genre of music you don’t like? Country and 90s hiphop/R&B/rap.

64. What’s an album that you think has no skips on it? Indigo by Namjoon; MOTS:7 by BTS, After Laughter by Paramore.

65. What’s your favorite thing to watch on youtube? BTS stuff.

66. Would you make the first move to ask someone out? I have in the past.

67. Do you often dream or have nightmares that you remember when you wake up? Not always.

68. What are you craving right now? Sleep.

69. What turns you on? Idk man I’ve felt asexual for quite some time now.

70. What’s something you haven’t done that you think most people have? Get chickenpox.

71. What genre is your favorite playlist right now and what’s it called? I don’t have a favorite playlist but I have been loving K-pop for the last two years; I’m also fairly confident that that’s not changing any time soon.

72. Are you a sad or happy drunk? Chill or energetic drunk? I’m anything but sad. Like I can shift between happy, chill, or energetic, or be all of those things together depending on the general mood, the people, or what I simply feel like being,

73. What time of day do you like best? 9 PM onwards. I love making the most out of my evenings.

74. Do you tend to enjoy being babied or do you prefer to be the one taking care of someone else? Oh I definitely enjoy being both. There are things I wanna take initiative on, but there are other situations, like when I’m the youngest in a group, where I can enjoy the extra attention being given to me haha.

75. What top three cities do you want to travel to? Seoul, Barcelona, Chicago.

76. What’s your favorite feature about your best friend? She has beautiful big eyes.

77. Do you have any pets? What are their names? Cooper and Agi.

78. Back scratches or having your hair played with? I’d go with hair. I’m very ticklish so most back scratches would make me jump.

79. Do you like surprises? I mean yeah, as long as it doesn’t mean I’m the victim of a cruel prank.

80. What’s your favorite picture of yourself? I don’t think I’ve shot it yet. Maybe my college grad pic would be the closest to being my favorite? I like how I look in it and it also makes me proud, so it’s a win-win all around.

81. What books influenced you most as a child? I had a really fun time reading The Septimus Heap series by Angie Sage and I think it’s fair to say it really helped me shape and cement my love for writing.

82. Do you like kids? For the most part. But I hate when they are clearly the result of bad parenting from the get-go.

83. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? (or other accessory if you don’t wear any) The necklace that Reena gave me which has a purple heart charm. Also the only piece of jewelry I own, really.

84. Any wild stories passed around in your family? Sure. Filipino families are crazy and I’m sure every one of us has got a wild story or five.

85. Do you consider yourself an independent person? Yeah, for the most part.

86. What are you most comfortable sleeping in? Not too particular with this, just airy and thin stuff as it gets pretty warm here.

87. What was your childhood dream? I wanted to be a writer/author. It only came to a halt when I accepted how bad I was at writing stories and poems.

88. What’s your fictional OTP? Hm. I don’t go as hard for fictional OTPs as I used to in my teenage years lol but I wanna say Taejin? Like if I had to pick a BTS ship to go down with it would be them; idk I guess I just gained so much love and appreciation for their dynamic after learning about their 2017 fight.

89. What’s one thing you want to achieve this year? Try a new restaurant for every 2023 weekend, or at least most weekends of this year. I already did that today!

90. What has been your favorite book you’ve read in the last 5 years? I have not finished a single book in that timeframe.

91. What was the first movie to make you cry? Good question, because I have no idea. If I had to take a wild guess - Bridge to Terabithia.

92. What book world would you live in if given the opportunity? I don’t know enough literary universes to pick one.

93. What’s your craziest work related story? I wasn’t there when it happened but basically somebody got caught spending money using the company card, which is usually arranged to be connected to our personal Grab accounts for any work-related deliveries. Only she wasn’t just using the card for work, but also for her personal food deliveries, personal courier deliveries, taxi rides, grocery deliveries, etc. So basically embezzling.

94. What’s the best job you’ve had so far? I’ve had one so far and it’s pretty ok except for the times it makes me want to quit and die.

95. Worst tinder or date experience? I’ve never been on a casual, non-serious date.

96. What’s the first thing you think of when you wake up most mornings? What time is it and how much time I have left to stay in bed.

97. Are you more of a planner or a spontaneous adventurer? I make topline plans, but am also very much open to bouts of spontaneity here and there as long as they don’t lead to any inconvenience.

98. Do you think you see yourself the way other people see you? Probably not.

99. What’s the last show you binged? The Walking Dead. 100. What’s one of your fondest memories? Riding an airplane for the first time and being in shambles because I didn’t know my ears were going to be feeling all weird. I thought it was the end of the world, lmao.

[lickingyellowpaint]

Turns out I WAS just that bored. Did you know Asks have a character limit for replies? I didn’t. Anyway. Here, nonny:

1. What were your summers like as a kid?   

Playing in the backyard with my brother - we had tire swings, if not much else. Did some day camp but don't remember much. Vacations were to family in near neighboring states, not very exciting, but cool for a city kid to get out to the country every so often. Lots of multiplayer computer games on the home network. Cats. Books. Playing Star Wars with neighbor friends with lightsabers for sticks. Rollerblading and biking around the neighborhood until the streetlamps came on. Writing little songs and stories.

2. Do you enjoy thrilling rides like rollercoasters?

Not particularly.

3. Who was your childhood hero?   

Mulder and Scully.

4. What is your favorite book?   

The Picture of Dorian Gray, forever and always.

5. What do you find most attractive about your crush?   

Don't really have any new/exciting crush of any kind.

6. What’s your favorite outfit?   

I really do love that jumpsuit I got with the open sides. It's just cool, despite its tweed-ness.

7. Does seeing people in love make you happy? Sad? Annoyed?

None of the above? What people? What context? None of my business, usually, but always happy for friends when they find someone who makes them happy.

8. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?   

One of my real animal curls up with me every night and purrs up a storm in my arms, and I wouldn't dream of letting Pusheen take her spot.

9. What CD did you play to death as a kid?   

Alanis' Jagged Little Pill got a weird amount of play. I was young when it came out, didn't even understand half of it, but liked singing along while doing dishes.

10. Hike to a mountain top to watch the sunrise or drive out of town to stargaze?

The hike/sunrise.

11. What song has the most relatable song lyrics to you?   

I love music and lean on it hard and always have, so too many to list.

12. Iced drinks or hot drinks?   

Hot. Even in summer. Iced coffee is an abomination to me.

13. Bright colors or neutral tones?   

I guess I'll go with bright but it really depends on for what.

14. Breakfast for dinner or pizza for breakfast?   

Breakfast pizza usually means there was dinner pizza, so the answer's kinda both? I usually don't eat until after 2 PM, though, so I doubt that still counts as breakfast.

15. Do you have a green thumb or a black thumb?

Black. Unfortunately. My last plant died last month and I'm likely never bothering again.

16. What’s your favorite feature of yours?   

My arms. Even at my laziest, I've always had a little tone thanks to bass.

17. Would you rather be a lawyer or a doctor?   

Lawyer, I guess. Can't imagine having to deal with calling insurance companies all the time.

18. What type do you tend to go for physically?   

Men, lean with some definition but not too muscly. Women, I've found myself temporarily dazzled by all types.

19. Power of invisibility or flight?   

Invisibility.

20. Would you rather wake up with your makeup magically done or your hair?

Hair. It's impossible to even brush properly half the time. This would be a welcome blessing.

21. What’s the stupidest fight you’ve ever gotten into?   

Not sure. I'm pretty confrontation-avoidant, so fights aren't something that happen often.

22. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen someone do in public?   

I've seen all sorts of things but there's a big difference between Witnessed At Pride/Market Days weird, Boomers Partying In The French Quarter weird, Homeless weird... hell, sometimes I'M the Weird Thing In Public.

23. What’s your dream date?   

Not so much dream and not so much date - my usual old preference was one-nighters with tourists I'd never have to see again. So, yeah, I don't think I have one of these...

24. Do you tend to gravitate more toward using logic or intuition to make decisions?

Logic for work, intuition for personal.

25. Do you like parties?   

Pre-COVID, yes. Maybe someday again if that's magically not an issue anymore.  

26. Did you enjoy high school?   

Kind of! I enjoyed research and writing papers, enjoyed being on the school paper staff and the interviewing opportunities it gave me at the time, enjoyed my bizarre little social circle, and all the ill-advised dalliances. Didn't much groove with my fellow IB kids, though.

27. Who is the craziest person in your family and why?   

It may have once been my dad, but I'm afraid I've adopted the mantle.

28. What’s your favorite holiday tradition?   

Halloween parade.

29. Can you describe your laugh?   

Sometimes I'm wheezy but I blame the smoking.

30. Instagram or Twitter?    

Twitter - if there's breaking news, I'll venture there for locals' insights. Instagram, you'd have to pay me to give a shit about.

31. What’s a show that everyone loves that you didn’t?   

I tried Dexter back in the day. Didn't make it far but can't remember why, just got bored. Most shows I haven't even bothered to try.

32. What song is stuck in your head?   

Light My Candle from RENT, all damn day. I saw a RENT poster on the bus this morning and it won't go away.

33. Do you like exercising?   

Yes, but I never have the time/privacy anymore to keep to my old routine. Bums me out. Could go to a gym but that's money and even less privacy. But YES I LIKE IT AND I MISS IT VERY MUCH.

34. Do you scare easily?   

From horror movies? No. From average everyday occurrences that trigger my CPTSD? Damn near daily.

35. Who are your top 5 celebrity crushes?   

I've decided to allow myself ONE skip in this survey and I'll use it here

36. If you could learn one language fluently what would it be?   

Probably the language most common amongst my job's regulars, so I could better communicate at work and thus better help people.

37. Would you fly to the moon if given the opportunity?   

Doubtful - likely too scared of what could go wrong.

38. What’s your favorite flower?   

Sunflowers are slightly special to me.

39. What non-sexual touch affects you the most?

Used to like having my hair petted but very rarely.

40. Do you enjoy cuddling?    

I can't truly relax, never know where to put my limbs, overheat way too quickly, and always feel like the other person must expect something from even my expression, that it should appear happy because of the cuddling. So, my face muscles start getting jerky and weird and deep down I hate it. It all makes me tense, too warm, and unsure of myself in every respect.

41. Do you like valentine’s day?   

I don't celebrate it but I don't outright despise it either. The real holiday is, of course, the next day when the candy goes on sale.

42. Do you enjoy driving and are you a good driver?

Never driven in my life and hope to never have to.

43. What would you be most likely to become famous for?   

Damned if I know. I used to think I might want it through writing, but fame seems exhausting, and my last good book idea, I tossed because someone else wrote the exact thing before I did. Soooooooooo, probably something really weird and un-sober. Like, Local Eats Too Many Edibles And Attempts To Leave Zoo With Meerkats In Pockets.

44. Do you have a favorite quote?

It's a Stephen Crane poem, but:   

I saw a man pursuing the horizon; Round and round they sped. I was disturbed at this;    I accosted the man. “It is futile,” I said, “You can never —” “You lie,” he cried,    And ran on.

45. Are you a romantic?   

lmao no

46. Do you have any tattoos or want to get one?

I have so many. One more in mind but the finances won't allow.

47. Biggest pet peeve?   

Currently? Every asshat who thinks personal calls on speakerphone, or watching videos without headphones, in a shared public space is an okay thing to do. Apparently there's a huge section of the population that was never taught how to behave politely. And so many of them come into my job, jesus shitting christ.

48. Favorite personality trait about yourself?   

Resourcefulness.

49. Sum up your type in three words.   

Creative. Charismatic. Frugal.

50. Do you listen to Kpop and if so who is your bias and why?

Nope.

51. What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed awake?

It was either 41 or 42 hours. Hallucinations happened at the end there. Not a fun time.

52. Hot or cold weather?

COLD. Anything above 75 or so can go back to hell from whence it came.

53. Bouquet of flowers or box of chocolates?   

Chocolates always.

54. Can you do any good impressions?   

I'm a great mimic with a wide vocal range but I don't use it as a party trick or anything, just for my own entertainment and acting practice.

55. What’s the best prank you’ve been witness to?

No idea. I pulled a good one on an old roomie but it's too long a story to bother with.

56. Favorite dessert?   

Might be baklava.

57. Is there a vine or tik tok you quote often?   

Yes but its audio was yoinked and used elsewhere, so I couldn't possibly say where it actually originated from.

58. What tumblr post always makes you laugh?

the salvador deli lmao

59. What country that you haven’t been to do you want to visit most?   

Most would require flying, so, none.

60. Can you cook and do you enjoy it?   

I'm a pretty decent cook and do enjoy it, but 99% of the time I'm gonna save effort, time, money and my weird digestive system by just munching on a sandwich instead. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

61. What’s your guilty pleasure movie?   

I'm trying to think if I love any movies that are so bad, they'd have to be guilty pleasures rather than regular ones. Maybe Roger Daltrey's version of The Beggar's Opera. I've got to be one of the few weirdos on the planet that enjoys that on a regular basis, right?

62. What’s your comfort movie?   

Fantasia.

63. Is there a genre of music you don’t like?   

Metal.

64. What’s an album that you think has no skips on it?   

The Who's Quadrophenia, I answer for the sixty bajillionth time because my answer will never change.

65. What’s your favorite thing to watch on youtube?

Obscure movies from between 1920-1990.

66. Would you make the first move to ask someone out?   

Not something I have to worry about but yeah, that's one area I do have actual social confidence in.

67. Do you often dream or have nightmares that you remember when you wake up?   

Pretty often, yeah.

68. What are you craving right now?   

Well, now that I mentioned it, baklava. -.-

69. What turns you on? Plenty of things. But I’m not about to list them on the designated horny freaks website, c’mon now.

70. What’s something you haven’t done that you think most people have?   

Driven a vehicle.

71. What genre is your favorite playlist right now and what’s it called?

I'm back to using YT more often than Spotify, and I don't even log into YT, so no playlists.

72. Are you a sad or happy drunk? Chill or energetic drunk?

Depends on the mood I was in when I started drinking. Tends to amplify it, whatever it may be.

73. What time of day do you like best?

Night.

74. Do you tend to enjoy being babied or do you prefer to be the one taking care of someone else?

I'll do or accept what I have to in emergencies, but neither? Handle your own shit day-to-day and let others do the same for the most part, is how I see it.

75. What top three cities do you want to travel to?

I'm gonna double the answer here, because I'd love to see Aspen, LA and San Fran again, but for places I HAVEN'T been to: Nashville, DC, and Savannah. (This list could def be less America-centric, but the plane thing...)

76. What’s your favorite feature about your best friend?

The fact he's pulled himself out of terrible health situations and is all the better for it - he's stronger than he thinks!

77. Do you have any pets? What are their names?

Three cats and, unfortunately, now a mere two fishies. The other recent tank additions didn't last long. :( But one of the originals is still kicking and seems to like his new friend.

78.  Back scratches or having your hair played with?

Used to be hair, but nowadays I just prefer not to be touched altogether. Hugs are okay, but that's it.

79. Do you like surprises?

I mean.... it really fucking depends what kind, doesn't it?

80. What’s your favorite picture of yourself?

Idk.

81. What books influenced you most as a child?

A whole bunch of ghost, paranormal, UFO and conspiracy books. I was THAT kid lol

82. Do you like kids?

I can pretend to like them for the brief period I am around them - no harm/no foul in that, so long as you act genuine enough: happy eyes, happy tones, engagement, listening, saying encouraging things. It's their feelings about the interaction that matter, not mine. But do I like them? No. They're usually stickier and louder than I can deal with.

83. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? (or other accessory if you don’t wear any)

I switch fave necklaces every few years. I'll rock a piece daily for months on end, then suddenly change it up and wear the new one for months. I have a chunky silver bracelet I like a whole lot but I really don't remember to put jewelry on much unless I'm having A Very Aesthetic Day.

84. Any wild stories passed around in your family?

A great-aunt was somewhat close with John Dillinger, but I don't know any specific wild stories about that. Dad managed bands in the 80s and I don't think I was allowed to know the best stories there, though his friend told me one about them ripping through an obscene amount of blow in one weekend. Parents used to see Dahmer in the neighborhood sometimes because of the bathhouse down the block, and Gacy at least once. Most other wild family stories are my fault, and I'm not around for what are probably the cautionary tale retellings.

85. Do you consider yourself an independent person?

Yessssssss.

86. What are you most comfortable sleeping in?

Whatever I happened to spend the day in.

87.   What was your childhood dream?

And again, 'Dana Scully' is more or less the answer.

88. What’s your fictional OTP?   

I've had a few, which immediately invalidates the O in OTP - changes about once a decade, though.

89. What’s one thing you want to achieve this year?

HA, joke's on you, year's almost up, I don't have to achieve shit. Take THAT, survey.

90. What has been your favorite book you’ve read in the last 5 years?

Torn between Breakfast at Tiffany's, because such a refreshingly less cheesy ending than the movie, and Catcher in the Rye.

91. What was the first movie to make you cry?

I assume Wizard of Oz? I distinctly remember being distraught that it was over and making my mom put it on all over again from the start.

92. What book world would you live in if given the opportunity?

Not sure. Maybe LOTR, for the peace of the Shire and the chance to possibly encounter Aragorn's fine ass.

93. What’s your craziest work related story?

That a former employer became a murder victim whose case went famous, probably. I've also got some crazy tales from the skip-tracing stint, but I may be saving those up for a future memoir.

94. What’s the best job you’ve had so far?

My current one. Best pay + best boss + less demanding work than past jobs = bliss.

95. Worst tinder or date experience?

......see, I'm really wracking my brain here, and idk. Instant clinginess has put me off quickly in the past, though.

96. What’s the first thing you think of when you wake up most mornings?

Coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.......

97. Are you more of a planner or a spontaneous adventurer?

Spontaneous. Plans, I usually make and then have zero energy for, day of. But hit me up on the day of a Thing, whether that be a concert or a three-day ride-along out of state in a trucker friend's cab, and I might well be down so long as work sched allows.

98. Do you think you see yourself the way other people see you?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Doubtful.

99. What’s the last show you binged?

Watched four episodes of Wings today just because it was on and I loved that show as a kid. It holds up so well. (Lowell is such a himbo, god bless him.) But does four episodes count, or has the definition of 'binge' been irrevocably changed by the Netflix era?

100. What’s one of your fondest memories?

Every single New Orleans trip had its own unique magic - there's a balcony on Burgundy I'd love to be standing on again, simply taking in the night air and reminiscing.

[chaoticabstractism]

Okay thoughts

- hate how both reader and brother are put in this situations and they both know they’re distanced but they can’t be okay about it so suddenly. God the alarms that must be going off in his head

- Why do I feel like brother is driving to yoongi’s house 😟

- I’m fucking anxious damn it

- Whatever the fuck happened at that table

- Three months of questioning his existence? What do you mean by that? Is he suicidal?

- FUCCCCCKKKK I KNEW IT OH GOD OH GOD OJ GOD OH GOD

- Lmao never seen yoongi in panic in two years of three tan universe

- Mister brother could be coming there to talk about his sister lying to him right? RIGHR ? Right ? Cus they’re bros and he could be worried RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT

- Ill have you know that I’m clutching my T-shirt and reading this

- Dasi run run run 🏃🏻‍♀️

- If mister brother is thinking of another scenario and he IS genuinely worried for reader , both of them are gonna be so down in the built ocean I can’t even . Wow I love mental pain but this is giving me anxiety

- Come to think of it , i do think considering how yoongi’s been and how much mister brother did for reader, his wrath is gonna be valid. Just don’t know how irrational. Sigh there’s no good or bad here just life

- Is the band “THE ROSE” cus you know your playlist and then snooze, and the rose is amazing and I love woosung hello

- OH MY GOD IT IS THEM LMAO ILOVEYOU

- What stare 😟😟😟

- How many surprises are here

- Do you hate us ryen tell me

- Does yoongi have a crush on woosung 😟😟😟😟 because I know I would too but

- Okay I can’t I don’t wanna read the mister brother conversation I can’t do this someone hold my hand

- He’s looking for things that reader left isn’t he

- Plane ticket 🤣I know it’s not laughable sorry but just never seen him like this in here, poor baby

- Scared to scroll up. I’m reading the parts in the middle of a screen but my eyes keep going to the bottom to see if there’s a dialogue yet and if it is there , what is it

- Okay I was so scared I just fast forwarded through dialogues now I’ll have to read again now that I know it’s not that bad phew or is it

- They have to address this. Both of them. Reader and yoongi. They are both so fucking scared about this and it affects both of them so much. Fuck. I hope mister brother don’t feel betrayed 😭

- What rumours? 😟What are this people? 😟Why is the implication of being associated with this ex so bad? 😟Why ? Why ?

- Don’t lie to your friend I’m crying yoongi don’t lie to your friend you won’t be able to live with yourself if he’s hurt

- Ah I’m I can’t .

- “Are they seeing someone” that has to be the dumbest stupidest most courageous and cocky thing he’s ever done

- Yoongi’s gonna spiral. Mister brother is already spiraling and I don’t even want to think about what’s happening with reader

- Yoongi :(

- Why are both their exes so evil and cunning leaving them so traumatised wtf

- Damn I need a smoke

- “Please don’t leave me alone” 😭only if the reader knew what’s happening inside his head.

- Does yoongi’s living room corner have a ghost ? 😟

- Hurts hurts hurts. The bandage needs to be ripped off ryen.

- Also when you say yoongi was radio silent for months? Did he not contact at all? I thought they kept texting throughout those 3 months

- I’ve been glued to my phone my eyes hurt a little hello

- Man every time they’re sneaking out, I’m the one freaking out. What is this sorcery

- “Heaven probably wonders how to replicate this feeling. “ 😔

- Where are they going it’s cute and all but im still jittery

- “You and your stupid hair” that’s my inner monologue I swear. Stupid hairs stupid voice stupid smile stupid eyes stupid stupid stupid

- Wow asking to eat food while he looks like a fucking full course wow

- Dating min yoongi - the reality is better than those fics reader ever wrote

- How many kisses are he going to steal

- Thanks for these fluff ryen I swear I’m healing

- Now why did that last scene felt like avengers assembled

- Anyway that was sucha good read ryen I swear. The anxiety had me choked up throughout. Phew can’t wait for more. Sorry I’m not up to date on discord but I’ll leave you this’. Take care. Drink water. Love you. 🌸

broken, pt. 1 (3tan) | myg

title: broken (pt. 1) pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f) series:masterlist | three tangerines | fireworks | house party | basketball | stay | sidewalk talk | friends | dalo | like that | anytime | sundress season | yoongi’s interlude | forfeit | flutter | video call | busted rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , fluff ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au summary: chilling conversations prolong things even further… until everything goes to hell. note: this is only one half of what was supposed to be a whole chapter! broken, pt. 2 will come out after i’ve had time to make it something i’m proud of. trying to rush everything out didn’t do any favors, so hilariously and ironically, broken is broken up into two hahaha. warnings: language, angst, tension, yoongi’s pov is longgg, alcohol consumption, tobacco mentions, bro🥲, yoongi in the studio😩, the studio boys make another appearance👀, …someone else makes their first appearance👀👀, scuffles, tense situations, did i say angst?, water bottles get their own warning, long hair yoongi, basketball yoongi🫠, crying, bro a ha ha, jimin has tats and he’s not afraid to show them, the chains stay on(???), …bad boy yoongi😀👍, honestly he is on another level of warning here don’t perceive me💀, the fluff is fluffing here like what, backstory we’ve been waiting for😗, yoongi on the phone, hand holding :’)), kissing :’)), oh god the kissing❤️‍🩹, there’s just a lot in both parts i’m sorry y'all playlist: broken (lp) drop date: dec 3rd, 2023, 4:00pm est word count: …19.1k 🚶‍♀️

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Words abandon you.

Keep reading

[sukirichi]

wine: ingredient 44 + sugar 7 + spice 12 for gojo satoru *slams table* thank you for feeding us kind maam

for sukirichi’s milestone event: 

the meal order : 🍷 + 44 (hate sex au) + 7 (forbidden relationship) + 12 (praising kink) your dinner has been served! also bruh LOL you’re a choso simp this is hilarious spspsps

— who are you to deny him when he only wants to worship you?

gojo satoru x fem! reader

contents/warnings: nsfw, slight angst, reader is hot girl shit, gojo long schlong, hate sex, car sex, spanking, riding gojo, slight angst, praising kink taken to a DIFFERENT LEVEL (i want to make people question the extent of their praising kink), body marking, rough sex lol it’s always rough in my stories, unedited

Your friends pushed you out of the club, all of you laughing, hands clutched around your waists as loud, drunken giggles fill in the night air. It was a wild night; your friends invited you to the club to take your mind off your stupid boyfriend. You thought you’d end up moping around, too much of a buzzkill to ever let loose because it wasn’t that easy to stop thinking about him, but even you were surprised when you started grinding with people on the dance floor just three drinks later.

The gals were more than delighted to see you enjoying your night, only dragging you out the club when you nearly shoved your tongue down another man’s throat.

Scratch that – your friends called you to hang out because you lied about having a shitty day at work. You’ve had your fair share of shitty days, but you were one of the most prominent lawyers in your firm, no one dared gave you a bad day. Your subordinates knew that if they even looked your way without your permission, you wouldn’t hesitate to dump paperwork on them, or assign them to the nastiest cases just to piss them off.

Yeah, you were sort of a bitch, but you didn’t care.

It took a lot to get where you were now. It wasn’t easy to be a woman in a male-dominated workplace and you were forced to strip your softness off, replacing it with hard armor and sharp tongue concealed under bold red lips, a tight pencil skirt that accentuated your curves, and a pair of black suede pumps.

You deserved all your success. You were smart, stunning, confident, powerful – so then why did you feel like shit around your shitty boyfriend?

The answer was loud and clear. It bothered you to no end that he wanted to keep your relationship a secret because his family was too different from yours, coming up with a shitty excuse that you were just “too different.” He never bothered explaining, and every time you confronted him about, he’d only wave his hand, distract you with those delicious and soft lips of his until you forget it over and over again.

You were okay with it at first. It wasn’t a really serious relationship; you only started dating him because you saw yourself a lot in him – confident, self-assured, maybe even a little cocky – plus, he was extremely attractive.

But the longer you spent time with him, you were beginning to fall in love.

Yes, you, the ice princess of one of the most respected law firms all over the city was beginning to soften up at a certain blue-eyed man who had magical hands.

But tonight – tonight you’d forget about him.

Your stomach was heavy with expensive liquor and you were nearly staggering on your knees, the only thing preventing you from falling were your more sober friends. The others were holding you close to keep you upright, while one of your friends moved to a quieter part of the block to call an Uber for you. Your friends were all happily married, some with children, so they couldn’t really stay out too late at night and chaperone you all the way back home.

You were well-aware you were being a bother, but fuck, couldn’t you lean on someone for just once? Sighing, you leaned closer to your warm friend, mumbling something about wanting to forget about everything you’ve been through.

“There, there,” she patted your head comfortingly, “You’ll be fine, babe, you’re a strong woman. I know you’ll get through this.”

“But I hate it,” you drunkenly admitted, lips trembling the more you thought about him, every stupid little thing about him – his soft white hair, those pretty blue eyes he always hid under shades even at night, his large, calloused hands that always felt so rough when keeping your legs open for him and you couldn’t even start talking about his cock, he was just so blessed and perfect in every little thing that you hated it. You hated him. “I don’t like this feeling,” you sniffled, “I feel like I’m being looked down on, that I’m being pushed to the side. I feel unimportant, like I’m not good enough.”

“Who said you aren’t?”

You froze in your friend’s arms, eyes meeting with those blue ones you could never get enough of. As if noticing your silence, your friend immediately covers you with her arm, glaring at your boyfriend. “Do we know you or something?”

“No,” Satoru replies coolly, brows furrowed in the state you were in. You turned away from him with a scoff, arms crossed on your chest. Why did he have to be here out of all places? Wasn’t he busy with work or whatever family shit he apparently couldn’t tell you about even though you’ve both been dating for a year and a half now? He just wasn’t giving you a break, and the hairs on your arm stood up when he said, “Not that you have to, but may I please drive Y/N home?”

“She’s not going anywhere—”

“She’s a friend of mine,” he insisted, turning to you with a pleading look in his eyes. You almost melted. Almost. “I need to talk to her about something.”

You rolled your eyes and stepped forward, your friend’s arm latching onto yours. You could tell she was worried from the way her gaze darted back and forth between you two. Satoru was, after all, clearly uninvited, and he didn’t seem like your type either. You always insisted you preferred refined man, men like his friend Nanami Kento, but alas, you were stuck dating this one instead.

“It’s fine,” you told her with a fake smile, “I’ll call you later when I get home.”

You never got to call her – simply because you didn’t make it home. The moment Satoru closed the car doors behind you, you both got into a heated argument. Satoru hated silences and always made sure the car was filled with music, but this time, he didn’t notice there weren’t any songs when you opened your mouth.

Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was the anger and pent-up tension of not being able to hold him and kiss him in public like normal couples did, in addition to the fact Satoru never explained why he insisted on keeping you a secret – whatever it was, you just snapped.

“I don’t even understand why I’m still dating you!” you huffed, legs crossed on top of the other as you gazed out the window. Lips trembling, you tried so hard to not cry, especially not in front of the man who was breaking your heart. “This is hardly a relationship when I’m not free to call or text you as you please, when I can’t go out with you on dates and we’re always hanging in my apartment. I’m your girlfriend, Satoru, we’ve been together for a long time but I honestly don’t even feel like it. What the hell are we dating for then?”

Satoru clenched his teeth, his grip on the steering wheel tightening. “How many times do I have to tell you that I love you,” he said coolly, acting unbothered and unaffected as ever, but the clench in his jaw said otherwise. “If that’s not enough—”

“Of course it’s not enough!”

“I’m trying here too, okay?” Satoru slammed on the brakes and parked on a desolated spot, hands running through his hair while he breathed heavily. Once he’d calmed down, he shook his head, refusing to look you in the eye like a man. “I’m trying my best. It’s just hard. It isn’t as easy as it looks.”

“What isn’t easy as it looks? Dating me? Letting the whole world know I’m yours?” when Satoru didn’t respond, you scoffed, patience running low and thin. “You’re pathetic, Satoru. Dating you was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, and I thought I was a smart woman.”

With a shake of your head, you slung your purse over your shoulder and reached for the car door. You were about to leave when Satoru suddenly pulled you towards him, his lips slamming into yours.  Like always, you fell into his trap, into the blissful pleasure that was his lips and his hands, and you hated it, hated him, hated him so fucking much because you were so tired of his entire existence.

You wanted to let him know he was insufferable.

You wanted him to feel the pain and misery he put you through.

“I fucking hate you,” you snarled as Satoru kept fucking into you, the entire car windows fogged and the vehicle shaking. “I wish I never met you, you asshole,” Satoru, displeased, only buries himself deeper into you, as if they would erase his mistakes and shortcomings.

Satoru’s large hands snake to your waist and onto your breasts, expertly tweaking them between his fingers. Your head fell back to the crook of his shoulder, your back pressed against his hard chest as Satoru trapped you in his strong arms, impaling you on his cock over and over again. “You’re lying,” he whispered into your neck, tongue and teeth playfully sucking at the tender flesh. His grip on your hip was bruising and possessive, and your breasts bounced fervently at how he snapped his hips upwards to feel your walls coat him and hug him tightly and warmly. “Why would you hate me, sweet girl? Don’t I always make you feel good? Don’t I remind you enough that you’re the best fucking thing ever?”

You didn’t respond right away, your breath taken away with how you could never get enough of this, of him. He was right no matter how much you denied it. Despite being terrible in everything else, Satoru knew and respected you, even admired your dominance and intelligence when other men were intimidated by it.

No, he worshipped you. He made you feel like you were a divine goddess when he tugged at your hair to tilt your cheek to him, his tongue slithering to your lips to taste himself on his tongue from when you previously busted his nut with just your mouth.

Lipsticks smeared on his cheeks and crescent moons on his pale thigh from your nails, Satoru looked wonderful beneath you like this.

He was beautiful, so damn beautiful, but it didn’t change the fact he’d put you through hell these past few weeks. 

No, it wasn’t just the past few weeks. Things were always complicated with him. He was perfect in everything else but when it came to you, he made it a mission to hide you and your relationship, changing your contact name to a totally random one “just in case.”

Your mind was confuzzled and you felt like you were on the urge of breaking apart from both his ministrations and his confusing treatment over you. Before you knew it, you were kissing him back fervently with the intensity of your hatred over this man.

Your hand reached his to guide it to rub at your clit, and Satoru, eager to make you feel good as always, happily obliged. Satoru kept bouncing you on his cock until you were too overwhelmed to speak, crying and mumbling incomprehensible words. 

Him, only him, would ever have the ability to let the sharp-tongued and intelligent woman who never bat an eye in court lose her wide vocabulary, falling apart in his arms while his long length abused your puffy lips.

“You made me feel like shit,” you finally admitted, tugging at his hair until Satoru is lowly groaning at the slight sting. But did you care? Of course you didn’t. You wanted to hurt him too.

“How so, sweet girl?”

“I can never have you the way I want,” you answered through gritted teeth, moaning out when Satoru suddenly thrusted too deep, hitting your most sensitive spot that had you quivering in his hold. “You don’t—” you gasped, “You don’t understand what I feel, how you make me feel like I’m never good enough for you. That’s the reason why you don’t want anyone else knowing, right? ‘Cause I’m not good enough for you, never gonna be good—”

Satoru didn’t let you finish your words, shutting you up with his cock instead. The vehicle shook uncontrollably with your mating sessions, and Satoru silences you by pulling at your leg to press it on his chest instead.

The sudden switch in positions had your muscles tensing and stretching, adding only to both your pleasures with the new thrown in factor of slight pain. You felt Satoru kiss your neck down to your shoulders, scraping his canines until you were absolutely lost. You gave in, you gave up, head lolling back next to his loving lips that murmured sweet nothings.

“Not true, sweet girl,” he reminded you, flattening you on his cock and making you roll your hips while you slid up and down his pole sensually. Unlike the previous pace, the slow sensation of your pussy hugging his cock with your arousal letting him slide in easily allowed you to feel every part of him, almost mind-wrecking at how good he’s able to make you feel even after such a long time of having him already.

“You’re the sexiest and most intelligent woman I’ve ever met, the best, the absolute blessing of my life, and I just want to protect you, sweet girl. You’re too precious for me to lose,” Satoru kept mumbling over and over again.

You could no longer process his words functionally, not when he’s slamming you down his length like that and burying himself in you as if he didn’t want to be anywhere else.

Satoru’s hands were still curious, appreciative and gentle as he runs his hands, dipping into all your curves and pressing into your most sensitive spots the way you liked it.

“You’re always so good for me so no, sweet girl, never gonna let you go, not when you’re so perfect for me,” Satoru eased your worries – temporarily – with his words, and you’d believe his lie, you’d fall into the same mistakes over and over again because you were just that weak and powerless when it came to him. “You’re made just for me, sweet girl, you’re the prettiest and your pussy is the prettiest – I worship you, I adore you. You’re so divine.”

You blamed it all on your ego.

He praised you so well, made you feel so good and always placed you on top of the world when he’s inside you like this. Even if you knew he’d knock you down the pedestal just hours later, you opened your doors for him all over again.

Satoru knew this too, because he rammed inside your walls and ruined everything that you held firm beliefs in, his large hands smacking your ass to urge you to bounce on him like you weren’t made for any other purpose than to be the woman he adored.

You lied to yourself – you always did – but did you care? So what if you couldn’t be the one he really loved? What did it all matter when you were the one he worshipped?

For the sake of the praise and the compliments, you’d let him fuck you and play with your heart over and over again. It was a toxic routine you’d never get tired of, and you no longer complained, forgetting about everything he’d done and every heartbreak he caused you because he was there, whispering into your ears how good you made him feel and how you were the only one made to take him, and you didn’t care. Not anymore – not when you were worshipped.

[veliseraptor]

wanted to post this earlier but Then I Didn't - it's the semi-traditional pre-flight 150 words meme!!! send me up to three numbers and I'll write 150 words in that project, etc. etc. if you're wondering what something is you can check my wip masterpost which I think is completely up to date.

go forth and tell me what to write on my transatlantic flight during the hopefully fairly short period of time when I'm not sleeping!

1. Kinn came a little closer, his arms uncrossing. “I just wanted to find out if you’d done anything useful tonight, or if you’ve just been spending it fucking the help.”

Vegas’s temper tugged at the leash he had on it. “No,” he said, giving Kinn a brilliant smile. “I was just getting started on that.” 

Kinn made an irritated noise. “If you can’t keep it in your pants–” 

“I should keep it in the house?” Vegas said. “I’ve always wondered if you hire them based on how fuckable you find them or if that’s just a coincidence.”  (no tenderness)

2. “I was supposed to meet somebody here, but it seems like they ditched,” Xue Yang lied. “Which means I’ve got an open tab and a free evening and nobody to take advantage.” 

A little more eyebrow furrowing, but then his expression cleared. “Oh!” he said, sounding a little startled. “Is that…so?” 

“Uh huh,” Xue Yang said. “The incredible gift of my presence just going to waste. Shame, right?” 

Prettyboy laughed. Actually laughed, loud, like that was the funniest thing he’d heard all day, and Xue Yang felt his smile tick a little wider, pleased. Then he dropped a stunner of a smile on Xue Yang’s head that he just stared at, briefly derailed. 

“I’m sure it is,” he said. “So you’re telling me it would be my civic duty to make sure it doesn’t?” 

“I don’t know if I’d say civic,” Xue Yang said. “Moral, maybe.” 

That got another laugh. Definitely stupid. Or trying to flatter him, but that wasn’t the vibe Xue Yang was getting off this guy. “Well, when you put it like that,” he said. “I’m Xiao Xingchen.” (spin me right round)

3. Vegas had figured out that Pete had a smile he used to hide. He’d identified what it looked like. Now he was wondering if there was more than one. 

He watched Pete closely over the next couple of days, but he was acting perfectly normal. He seemed in relatively good spirits and as far as Vegas could tell there was nothing different about the way he was treating him. Then again, maybe that just meant that it’d been there all along and he’d just been deluding himself for months without noticing that something was wrong. 

Or maybe Pete really didn’t remember. Maybe he’d sectioned that time off so well that it only came out when he was sleeping, gone again in the morning. His brain protecting itself, or something. That possibility was a relief for about 24 hours before Vegas realized that it wasn’t actually any better except in the shallowest possible sense. (walking shadows)

4. Xue Yang gave Jin Guangyao an incredulous look. “So people start coughing up flower petals because somebody doesn’t like them back? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Or, okay, not ever, but it’s pretty stupid.” 

Jin Guangyao’s lips twitched a little, not quite giving way to a smile. “You do have a unique perspective, Chengmei. Many people think it’s romantic.” 

“Considering most people are stupid,” Xue Yang scoffed, “that makes sense.” He twitched his shoulders. “I’d like to see that, though. So what happens? Do people actually die from it like in,” he gestured, “the play?” 

“Sometimes,” Jin Guangyao said, and then corrected, “often, or so I’ve read. I’ve never encountered a case personally, only records. It’s not clear if there is a cure. Some have said that there is in gaining the love of the object of the victim’s desire. Others say there’s no arresting the progress of the disease, only an inevitable and…apparently gruesome death. I don’t know the truth.” 

“Huh,” Xue Yang said. “Why don’t people just…stop?” 

Jin Guangyao raised his eyebrows. “Stop?” 

“Yeah,” Xue Yang said. “Stop caring. Just say fuck it, I’m not dying for this.”

Jin Guangyao’s eyebrows crept higher. “Are you proposing that someone will themselves out of love?” 

“Why not?” (xuexiao hanahaki au)

5. Song Lan turned around and began to make his way back to the city he’d hoped to leave behind forever. He didn’t let himself pass through populated areas; he didn’t know what Xue Yang’s ghost might be capable of, and if he seemed to be focused Song Lan there was no guarantee that he couldn’t harm others. Doubtless he would, given the opportunity. 

It seemed that whatever had been keeping Xue Yang from manifesting before, there was no such barrier now. Sometimes he was there during the day, a second shadow attached to Song Lan’s heels; sometimes there was no sign of him until nightfall, when he would sit with dark eyes fixed on him, chin propped on his hand, startlingly lifelike. He looked younger than he had when he’d died, though it took Song Lan a little while to realize why.  (the poison in your bones)

6. “Back to the wandering cultivator seeking justice and righting wrongs,” Xue Yang said, sarcasm thick in his voice. “Helping the common people.”

As Xingchen and I did before, Song Lan said, and while he managed to catch himself before he said the you, he didn’t really need to, and the way Xue Yang’s shoulders twitched suggested he heard it anyway. And there he’d done it again.

Was it his fault, that the simple truth could cut this snake? If he could not accept it–

You aren’t saying it because it is the truth. The thought, somehow, sounded like Xingchen. Speaking the truth to hurt is still speaking to hurt. And you wanted to hurt him. 

And using Xingchen  – using his bond with Xingchen – to do so.

Song Lan sighed. (Walking Far From Home)

7. It would’ve been nice if he could find someone to ask for tips on how to tell Vegas that he really wanted him to stop treating Pete like he was some kind of normal human being who didn’t want to get fucked up by his boyfriend/owner. He wasn’t going to ask Yok and he definitely wasn’t going to ask Porsche. Even if he could’ve managed to get any of the words out without dropping dead, whenever Porsche and Vegas were in the same room for very long they still started eyeing each other like strange cats. Pete couldn’t be sure he’d understand. (begging to bleed)

8. “Oh, okay,” a-Qing said. “That doesn’t sound creepy and suspect at all. I don’t just mean your boyfriend, either, that sounds like the start of some kind of horror movie.” 

Xiao Xingchen winced, a chill running down his spine. “Don’t say that,” he said plaintively. 

“Tell me I’m wrong,” a-Qing said. 

Hadn’t he thought…not exactly the same thing, but sort of? Xiao Xingchen didn’t say anything. A-Qing narrowed her eyes in his direction.

“Aw, Xingchen, don’t be worried about him,” she said. “I bet your boyfriend can murder his way out of some kind of most dangerous game bullshit, no problem.” Xiao Xingchen gave her a tired look, and she said, “no, seriously. And that’s assuming this story isn’t some cover for his real job as a contract killer.”

“As a what?”

“Do you think I could hire your boyfriend to take a hit on my parents?” a-Qing said, like she hadn’t heard him. 

“He’s not an assassin, a-Qing!” Xiao Xingchen exclaimed. She smirked at him, even if it was a little weaker than it usually would be.

“You don’t think,” she said. “It’s not like he’d just tell you. Can’t hurt to ask. Maybe there’s a friends and family discount.” (Redux)

9. “Okay,” Xue Yang said, breezing into her cell early one morning while she was half-undressed for her bath, “so I think you were right.”

She didn’t squawk, or scramble for her clothes. She turned her back, put on the single layer she’d removed, and said, “I’d appreciate it if you gave me a moment’s notice before coming in,” as calmly as she could manage. 

“Sure, whatever,” Xue Yang said, apparently taking no notice whatsoever of her state of undress. “Point is, I  tried stitching one corpse’s hand onto another corpse’s arm, and it worked. Sort of. I mean, it didn’t try to rip itself off or anything. So whatever the issue is, it’s something about living qi specifically.” He paused, frowning, and said, “I guess to really see I should try with something more than a hand. A head, or something. If I switched two heads around…”

“Slow down,” Wen Qing said, interrupting him. “What are you talking about?” 

Xue Yang gave her a look like it should be obvious. “I’m talking about what we were talking about the other day,” he said. “Or - whenever it was. About why you can’t just swap body parts between people without them dying. Remember?” (fall apart, destroy, release)

10. “So what’s your bright idea, Song-daozhang,” he said. “If you’re not gonna kill me yourselves–” 

“We’ll go to the Nie,” Song Lan said over him. “A strong sect, and Chifeng-zun is reputed to be a righteous man.” Xue Yang scoffed, but neither of them paid him any mind. Xiao Xingchen didn’t look completely convinced, but he was nodding slowly.

“Did you not hear anything I just said?” Xue Yang snapped. “That’s not going to solve your problem and you’re still stuck with a prisoner slowing you down and I’m not going to make it easy–”

“I can’t imagine you make anything easy,” Song Lan said under his breath. Xue Yang snarled at him. 

“Shut the fuck up,” he said. “You’re both so fucking–”

Xue Yang really hoped the arrow through Song Lan’s shoulder taught the two daoshi a lesson about leaving people alive to follow you later. Probably not, though. (strangers once united)

11. “What did I do?” he asked.

“Do?” his friend said. He sounded distracted.

“Yes,” Xiao Xingchen said slowly. “I did…something.”

“You’ve done a lot of things,” his friend said. “Bit of a long list. Could you narrow it down for me?”

Xiao Xingchen groped after understanding. His head hurt so badly and kept spinning and he was so confused, knowing things were missing but not knowing what he knew was missing. “I don’t know,” he said, distressed. “I…something wrong. Something…bad?” 

There was a brief, terrifying pause and then a laugh that sounded genuinely amused. “What? You, Daozhang?”

Xiao Xingchen could feel his face warming but he shook his head. “It was something important,” he said. “That I should have…or shouldn’t have…but I can’t remember. Did I…” He took a careful breath and said, “did I hurt you, friend?” 

“Pff,” his friend said. “No. Don’t be stupid. Come on. You won’t let me kill spiders in the house.” A flash of memory at that image, legs tickling his palm and he could feel someone’s amusement even though no one was laughing. It must be his friend. But it seemed like someone else. 

He didn’t know who. (xiao xingchen + concussion)

12. “Jiujiu,” Jin Ling said, frowning. Jiang Cheng fixed him with a frown.

“That’s enough,” he said firmly. “Did you have something you wanted to discuss or did you just come here to read my mail?” 

Jin Ling, to Jiang Cheng’s relief and slight surprise, dropped the subject, though Jiang Cheng had no doubt he wouldn’t forget it. And maybe say something to Wei Wuxian himself, since they’d gotten so close. 

Which was, Jiang Cheng reminded himself, not a bad thing. Was a net positive, really. And it would be very, very silly to be envious of his own nephew.Enough was enough, though. Whether this letter writer was just posturing or thought he could actually do something, it was time to put a stop to this nonsense. (through thistles and thorns)

13. It wasn’t like Sha Hualing hadn’t done this before. It wasn’t her first time with this shit, or her second, or even her tenth. 

There’d been a period of time when she’d first been blossoming into her full strength that it’d seemed like she couldn’t go two days without someone trying to hit her with one thing or another – Tender Violet pollen, the crushed leaves of Lover’s Embrace, the intoxicating scent of Thousand-Night Peach Blossom – and she’d dealt with all of them. Any demon that wanted to try to either claim her position or her heart was going to have to do better than pathetic attempts at humiliating her, forcing her to show weakness, or even just cornering her into fucking them. So alongside caution and care she’d learned five hundred cures and remedies and techniques to mitigate a hundred different possible poisons. 

She knew what she was doing.

And yet.

Even she made mistakes, sometimes. Slipped up. Got – not careless, she was never careless, but confident enough to miss something she shouldn’t have. 

She hadn’t done anything quite this stupid in a while, though. (under pressure)

[muffindaddystyles]

22! angst to fluff pls love ur works <333

THANK YOU SM EVERYONE FOR REQUESTING HOPE YA'LL LIKE IT LOVE YAA !!!!!!

Harry hates one thing, most. That’s silence. Still, Y/N gave him a silent treatment knowing how much it drives him insane. It pinches him in throat in the most sickening way and makes him vicious about their fights more.

She has her reason too. Anyone would have a right to be mad if their boyfriend will be seen going to bars with models and cherry on top it turns out be his ex.

In his defence it was a PR stunt to keep the quietude about his dating life since Y/N and Harry’s relationship is private for Y/N's sake.

“You could’ve atleast told me, tha' you were going with her?” Was all she said. Confusion and insecurities and the images of her glued all over him mocked her in the most brutal way before she was distancing herself away from him.

He did anything in his will to bring her back to him, apologised and tried to shower her in kisses, making her brekkie and staying at home but she kept on pushing him away.

The problem wasn’t him. It was her. She blamed herself. He’s been nothing but so gentle with her and she’s towing him away like a used tissue.

Harry knew Y/N anxiety was always at bay and he didn’t want to worsen it by going public but it was biting him in arse as questions upon questions were thrown at him for past three years.

It's Saturday morning and she appears from the guest room after ages, the sight for sore eyes.

Harry’s eyes that were staring the tiled wall of kitchen flitters towards her and his gaze turns soft when he sees her drowned into one of his lilac sweater (she missed him so much and felt awfully hollow and cold sleeping in the bed that doesn’t smell like him at all; so she did what could comfort her best).

She looks so small and frail as if the demons of the lone bedroom swallowed her whole.

Heavy eyebags digging away the glimmer in her eyes, her cheekbones prominent and the pinkness of her eyes visible telling how much she’s been crying.

He turns expressionless on purpose when she meets his gaze and isn’t what she wanted? Some space to figure her thoughts out – but that polite gesture turned into a silent treatment from Harry’s side this time.

She knows that he’s more of a meanie in this game than her because he’s the one that never let things bottle up, his eyes gives away everything but right now they’re just murk of anger.

“Can we talk?” Her voice dim from crying for days and Harry elevates his shoulders carelessly, wrinkles on his forehead and his frown deep as he shrugs, “Dunno. Realized t’pick y'puppet back, your eminence?” His taunt hits her right in chest and she blinks the moisture in her eyes away looking down at her fingers fumbling with the frays of the hem.

He’s cloaked with sadness and dejection from her misbehaviour.

He’s the most petty when she’s the reason of his agony.

“I hate how much I care about, you.” He spats. Knuckles turning white from his grip around the marble counter and Y/N listens —— because good, she should now she’s out of her own bubble.

“How much I’ve told y'that no-one ‘n damn nothin’ could come between us —-" His tone dripping with malevolence and bitterness it tears Y/N up.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Harry!!” She almost shouts. Shaky fingers contemplating to rip at her hair and her tears now shines at her cheeks, Harry elicits a flak taunting chuckle.

“See you’ve never trusted our love. Can y'fo’ once get outta y’head?” His own eyes glossy and his cheeks flushing rosy from the impact.

“You don’t want to bear what comes with lovin' me, don’t want me to cover up tha’ fo' you and you couldn’t spend a single day without doubting us,” He licks the salt away from his lips and his heart pauses a slow beat when Y/N's lips wobbles -- incoherent blabbers slipping past her swollen lips.

“What d'ya want then!?” The loud snap of his abrasive voice hitches her breath and she sobs out sorrowfully, “I just want you.” He sighs in defeat. Not really pondering over the severity and nuance of his words before speaking.

“Falling in love with you was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done in my life.” That was the last blow for Y/N. She gasps out a cry. Pupils bursting wide and her insides falls sick as the itching goosebumps pin-prickles at her skin.

Everything gets struck for a moment. Harry’s expression matches her as he realizes what damage he has caused and to confirm it a blaring thunder roars through the sky.

Y/N gulps the achy feeling in her throat and just nods silently retreating back through the steps that led her to him and he’s rushing behind her in fret only to get the door to be slammed on his face.

He curses himself. Hitting his forehead into the door frame, that was the lowest and most cheapest fucking insult you could’ve managed to throw her way you dick.

“Y/N. I’m —-...fuck.” He knows that a sorry will be too humiliating for the hurt he has caused her.

While, Y/N sits on the floor at the most corner of the room with her knees bunched up to her chest. His hurtful words rings in her skull and she stuffs her face into her elbow sobbing into it watching the bear Harry won for her in a carnival with doleful blurry vision.

Through his whole life the only decision he regrets is loving me – out of every stupid thing he thinks our love is the most stupidest, what if it's the end? How I'll live without him? It’s impossible.

Forgetting hurts the more than grieving and she’d never be able to do that.

Her toes numbs to tingles and she feels herself drowning somewhere into pitch darkness, her heart lurching ruefully at each knock Harry taps on the door and her stomach burns with acidy sting lungs knotting tight making her gasp for oxygen.

Her panic attack crawling up her body in beasty blood curling gashes and she attempts to shout a plead for Harry but white dots appears at the back of her eyelids tripping her into mountain of floor pillows.

It knocks the vase out and it shatters beside her head, “Y/N! Baby!” Harry pounds at the door and when doesn’t hear a response from her side he’s kicking it open harshly.

The lock unhinges as he rushes inside worrisome and his world shatters when he sees his lovie struggling for a breather, her petite body trembling and shaking with each gasp that bolts her throat more and she nearly begs for him to do something.

He’s falling beside her on the floor and embracing her pliant figure in his gentle hold, “’S okay. ‘S okay.” He croaks out wiping his own tears with the sleeve of his hoodie.

He rubs her tummy in soothing circles then trails his clammy palm up her chest and maintains an eye contact with her panicked ones. Her breath shudders when she tries to calm it back and her nails digs into his skin in doing so.

“Doing s'good f'me darling, yeah —-..yeah.” He bobs his head vigorously and assuring-ly stroking his thumb against her soaky cheek tenderly in pacifying motions.

Her breath lulls slowly back into a pattern and she jerks a little while inhaling a nourishing puff, “Take a breath honey, yes princess just like that.” He whispers speckling a tiny kiss to her forehead.

He pushes her up with a firm hand on her hip and into his lap murmuring sweet dottings into her ear, “Squeeze me hand if you could hear me baby.” He just wants to be reassured she’s doing okay –- his face crooked against her pulse point into her throat and she does so giving a weak squish to his fingers.

“Jeez.” He bumps her chin up with his head and touches their temples together – eskimo kissing her nose and her eyelids flutter when he pecks her mouth ever so lightly.

His insides are shaking anxiously from fright and he again hugs her warmly to feel her.

“’M sorry. So sorry lovie' didn’t –-.. didn’t mean to hurt ya, swear moppet was just upset tha’ y’were being so far from me. I love you so much precious ....." He presses his wet lips to the side of her head and buries his nose in her hair -- arms tightening around her waist.

".... and I don’t think lovin' you is stupid. Thinks tha’ ‘s the only best thing I’ve ever done in me life ... could never love anyone like that.” He mumbles cradling her sweaty face into his palms and patches soft kisses all over her face.

She hiccups a whimper. Nose quivering and lip wobbling — letting him kiss her pout and fists the flimsy fabric of his hoodie in her teensy hands compared to him, “’M sorry too. Sorry f'acting childish and not talking to you about it. I’m just scared I’m getting too obsessed with the idea of us and it’ll ruin us pathetically.”

“Wait. Wait woah baby ...” He grabs her gently with shoulders and pulls her back from him, “’S tha’ why you were trying to live off all by yourself?” He asks politely a bit glum she was enduring all of that herself.

When she tries to hide her face out of timidness he hooks his thumb under her chin and highers it up, “Y/N.”

“Thinks you love me so intensely?” She sniffs nodding in agreement and he smiles sweetly.

“Then fuckin' do it silly. Why d'ya think I wouldn’t want that lovlin? I want to be so loved by my sweet baby.” He almost falls back when she slings her arms around the nape of his neck and brings him down for a cuddle.

“I love you so much my Angel.” He murmurs with his face squished into her neck and fills his lungs with her warm vanillay scent.

She rubs her cheek up and down his chest like an affectionate starved puppy then stops where his heart lays under the trap of bones and kisses it three times.

Her love language. When she isn’t able to utter something she’s always appreciating him with loving actions and at the moment she did the same to exchange the sentiment.

Three kisses to heart means, “I love you so much it aches me.” He immediately catches it and pecks her nose.

"I know bub, I know."

[skigothy]

yayayayay big long thread time, ty for the tag! I love sharing personal info for friends and government to see!

1. Name: online I get called skigo for short. I also get called literally any other word that starts with an s by my irl friends, such as spigot! or stinky!

2. Pronouns/Gender:  I do not really care, I don’t prioritize labeling myself! but he/him is fine, and I am also cis I suppose

3. Sexuality: I guess closest to hetero? but again not big on labels, and currently am dating a nb so it’s really whatever

4. Country: united states of americus

5. Top 5 Fandoms: does music count? I spend a lot of time on rateyourmusic and r/indieheads when I was still on reddit. (for anyone actually reading, feel free to send me music recs or your fav playlists or anything like that, I love discovering new music!) along with that, I’d have to say hylics, jojo, binding of isaac, and smiling friends!

6. Most Forbidden Snack: I’ve always wanted to see how much of my cat’s head I can fit in my mouth

7. Would you pet a bug: yes and it would be this guy

8. Weird fact/story about myself: I like to explore construction sites! there’s a neighborhood being built down the street from mine I was exploring the other day when a truck started following me and trying to confront me (they literally drove on the wrong side of a road separated by median to try to get next to me) and I managed to successfully evade them riding on a scooter. can you imagine how humiliating it must be to lose track of someone you’re following who can’t even go like a quarter of the speed you can? amazing experience 10/10 would evade again

9. What does the color blue taste like: if blue takis are anything to base this off of, then suspiciously similar to the color red

10. Most beautiful thing i’ve ever seen: probably the grand teton mountain range, ohhhhh man those were some big rocks

11. Stupidest thing I’ve ever done: I have permanent scars on my fingers because I was using a bush trimmer outside and just. forgot that I was essentially wielding a mini chainsaw and put my hand out to grab something next to it and sliced my fingers! if I were any more careless I may have lost them entirely!

12. Stupidest thing I’ve ever heard someone else say/do: after the 2020 new years, one of my friends told me completely genuinely how crazy it was that we were only 80 years away from the year 3000

13. Hyperfixation Song: literally any song by Everything Everything! I’ve been listening to them a lot recently but if I had to pick one I’d have to say Photoshop Handsome

14. Meaning behind profile picture/username: username is one day I was just thinking about the word skig and how it was funny. I decided to name my future son skigothy.

15. Dream career as a kid: I went through a spy phase as a kid and thought it would be super cool! but I had a plan b of doing computer stuff, which is what I ended up doing!

16. Dream career as an adult: I would absolutely love to work on like a small team and make some silly games! another really cool one would be working on physics research, currently getting a physics minor but I may continue pursuing it once I’m done with my computer science degree next year!

17. Thoughts on cilantro: I have the weird gene. bad soapy. nasty grass.

18. Have I ever been banned from a location: does minecraft count? I was a mischievous one when I was younger (not that I’ve changed) and was banned from many a server

19. Favorite cursed food combination: apparently when I was like 4 I requested a peanut butter and mustard sandwich and my parents. complied? and I like ate it up and absolutely loved it. I was an astounding child

20. Trans rights: I support trans wrongs! trans people should be allowed to commit as many crimes as possible!

apologies if any of you have already been tagged: @shitass-broadsword​ @xxposerkid98xx @chronicallykyra​ @imkris​ @onemoretrite​ @tunedrockets​ @charyou-tree​ @jop0t​ @gaymeing

“I just came from r/196” ask game

Saw another post. I think I should invite y'all to one of our longstanding traditions. Answer the questions then tag 10 (or more) people. I'll go first.

Name? Frankie

Pronouns and gender? he/they/it, transmasc

Sexuality? Lesbian

Country? USA

Top 5 fandoms? Bungou Stray Dogs, Cosmere, All for the Game, Fundiesnark (not a series but I'm too deep in it to not consider it a fandom), .....the tornado fandom? (they're my special interest)

What is your Most forbidden snack? The preserved bones at the Atlanta Bodies Exhibition. They looked so crunchy...

Would you pet a bug? If it's big enough, it is pettable.

Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class. I like to drive around rural areas and photograph old, sometimes abandoned locations in the dead of night. I have been literally chased out of towns by foot and by car on two separate occasions. The second time this happened, "See You Again" by Miley Cyrus came up on shuffle and that's the soundtrack my friend and I tore out of town to. Also every "guy" I've dated except for my most recent ex (who has big egg energy) is a lesbian now.

What does the color blue taste like? Creme brulee

What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? The appalachian mountains of Tennessee in the middle of summer. There's kudzu everywhere. On the backroads, there were several old, dilapidated Baptist churches barely hanging to the side of the mountain. I wonder how many of them were still in use.

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? Short version: my friend's house almost got broken into by this dude who'd been stalking us for months while we were home alone. Instead of calling the cops, we decided to confront him with a bow and arrow (me), a hatchet, and a baseball bat (him). The plan was that if it went badly, we would simply throw his corpse into one of the many lakes in the neighborhood and let the alligators eat his remains (this was Florida). Why? Because we were afraid of having our home-alone privileges revoked. Luckily for us all, the guy fucked off and we never saw him again.

Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say? My ex thought that Jackalopes were real. Also, a nurse I was doing rotations with apparently thought that "Witness Protection" was for Jehovah's Witnesses.

Hyperfixation song? Young Enough + Bleach by Charly Bliss

Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username? Profile pic; I'm transmasc and I'm currently obsessed with TriStamp. Username; It was my fake internet name when I was like 13. I won't change it because I want my mutuals to recognize me, and because I do have a viral post associated with this name.

Dream career as a child? Doctor (funnily enough I'm now in nursing school)

Dream career as an adult? Professional Jester. Not a comedian. I just want to be some weird little guy who dresses silly and you can hire me to roast your boss at work parties.

Thoughts on cilantro? Delicious

Have you ever been banned from a location and if so, why? I honestly can't remember? Probably... but in recent memory I've mainly banned people from places.

What is your cursed food combination? Pineapple on a hotdog with grilled onions. It Slaps.

Trans rights? TRANS RIGHTS

Tagging: @rocket-mankoi @mostlymarco @atleast8courics @jazzlike39 @gemsweater72 @limbobilbo @ameliaaltare @redcrane112 @theoneofwhomisblue @twinkenjoyer @theultimatecarp and anyone else who wants to jump on

[middleearthpixie]

Lockdown

A/N: A Guy of Gisborne/John Porter Crossover, part 4 

The police code here is one I found for my home state and while the first fifty ten-codes are generally used in all 50 states, they can still vary. I may have also taken a bit of license with what the procedure would be in the instance of a school shooting. 

10-20 - advise to location 

Summary:You and John Porter have broken up, but when tragedy hits a little close to home, you’re both rethinking your priorities

Characters: John Porter, Guy Gisborne, Reader, numerous eight graders 

Warnings: Some tension, hints of gun violence in a school setting

Rating: T

Word Count: 3,889

***

You sighed as you tapped your pen against the blank notebook page on the table in front of you. You were between classes, listening to the din coming from the hallways that was sixth, seventh, and eighth graders all changing classes. 

A yawn worked its way to your lips. You hadn’t been sleeping well and hadn’t been for weeks, now. Not since the night you and John broke up. You tried not to think about it. Tried not to think about him. But that was, of course, easier said than done. You’d met on a blind date set up by mutual friends who were a couple and so thought everyone should be paired off. Unlike most blind dates, this one ended on the highest of notes and in a blaze of sinful passion that was the start of one of the most wonderful relationships you’d ever had. 

Maybe you should have seen the end coming, but you didn’t. After all, he seemed so absolutely supportive of your decision to go back to school and get your Master’s in American History so you could maybe teach at the high school level as well. But then as your workload piled up and your free time shrank until it almost disappeared, it took its toll on both of you. You began fighting over the stupidest things, until finally, in a moment of utter frustration, you told him, “Look, we want different things I guess. Maybe we should just take a step back for now.”

“Okay, tell you what. When you decide I’m as important as—” He held up the book you had to finish; All That She Carried, the Journey of Ashley’s Sack, a Black Family Keepsake—“this, give me a call.”

“John, you were the one who told me what a great idea you thought this was, that you’d understand if things got crazy. Well guess what? They got crazy.”

To which he said, “Sounds good. Call me when you’ve decided you’ve got time for me again.”

With that parting shot, he stormed out of your apartment. It was the last time you saw or talked to him and that was almost six weeks ago. He’d left a couple of terse voicemails but you couldn’t bring yourself to call him back. You tried not to think about what he was doing. Angel told you over coffee a week ago that he’d started seeing someone else and both she and her fiancé, Guy hated this new woman. She and Guy were planning their wedding and trying, she’d confessed, to find a way to keep John’s new girlfriend from coming to it. That conversation left you dead inside. You were Angel’s maid of honor. You would have no choice but to see John with your replacement and the thought alone made you want to throw up. 

The bell rang and your students filed in, laughing, chatting, texting without looking up from their phones or bumping into anything—which amazed you as much as it horrified you—and as they took their seats, you stood. “Good morning! Phones away, we’ve got a lot to cover this morning, beginning with your paper topics. Have you all decided what you’re writing about?”

The voices rose as one loud buzz and you smiled. “Okay. Let me try that again. Who here does not have a topic yet?”

With that, the buzzing dulled and three hands went into the air. You smiled. “Okay. Lisa, Deja, and Tyler. Good. The rest of you, take a look the questions I’ve written on the board and start answering them. Lisa, why don’t you come up and we can talk about what you might want to do. Deja, next, and then Tyler.”

The others grumbled, and two of the girls took out their phones instead, to which you said, “Elena, Donna—up here with the phones and into the basket they go.”

“Are you serious?”

“I’m dead serious, Donna. Let’s go.” You moved the wire basket that sat on the opposite corner of your desk to the other side of your desk. “You know the rules.”

They muttered under their breath, but each girl came up to drop her phone in the basket. “Anyone else think they might need to prevent themselves from becoming distracted?”

No one else moved and all phones went away. 

“Good. Now, get to work. Lisa, come on up and—”

The PA system crackled to life to interrupt you. “Good afternoon, students and staff. Brunswick High School is currently in a lockdown. Please lock all doors, shut off all lights, close all blinds, and move to the corner farthest from any doors and windows. Remain silent and mute or turn off all cell phones. This is not a drill. Again, Brunswick Hills High School is currently in a lockdown. Please lock all doors, close all blinds, and move to the corner farthest from any doors and windows. Remain silent and mute or turn off all cell phones. I repeat, this is not a drill.”  

You stood up. “You heard Principal Bailey. Phones off. Back corner, guys. And be quiet.” 

They stood almost as a unit and moved to the far corner of the room, where a low metal bookshelf stood just beneath the windows overlooking the courtyard. You skirted your desk to the door at the back of the room, pulled the shade, and then locked it, then flipped the lights off before moving to the door at the front of the room to lock it and pulled down that shade as well. Then, one by one, each window shade came down and the room sank into darkness.

It wasn’t a drill, but it also wasn't the first real lockdown you’d ever been through. Last year, there were two that wound up being nothing, so you weren’t really all that frightened. Your heart sped up a little, but you paid little attention to it as you moved over to where your students sat.

But then you heard it. 

Pop!

Pop!

Pop!

The noises were faint, but enough to make you jump and none of you needed to be told what you heard. And your heart sped up as you looked at the thirteen and fourteen year old faces in the corner. They knew it as well. 

“Keep quiet,” you whispered, putting a forefinger to your lips. “I’m sure the police are on the way, if they aren’t already here, and—”

“That sounds awful close,” Deja whispered.

More popping sounds. Louder this time. 

You looked around your room. You were on the second floor. The courtyard could only be accessed by way of the first floor, there was no exterior way into it. There were two cabinets that could hold two, maybe three of your kids each. That left fourteen students that would be sitting ducks. 

The commotion in the hallway grew louder. Boots sounded. Voices rose. The popping grew louder. Lisa let out a squeak, and Tyler clapped his hand over her mouth to quiet her. 

“It’s okay, guys,” you said, your voice far calmer than you actually felt. But you couldn't let them see you were scared as well. If you were outwardly calm, they would remain calm as well, and that was important. You knew the drill. You were ready. 

Of course, being ready didn't mean you weren’t scared as all fuck, because in truth? Your hands would be shaking like crazy if they weren’t balled against your thighs. You had to at least appear calm to keep them from panicking. You looked at those scared faces around you, some of whom had pulled their phones out and were texting like mad now, and you were supposed to confiscate the devices, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Stories of previous school shootings flashed through your mind. Columbine. Sandy Hook. Parkland. Some of those texts were the last words their parents would ever hear. 

A shadow passed the back door. Your heart stopped beating as the door handle rattled. And rattled again. 

A hand caught yours. You looked over. Tyler. He was such a sweet kid. He was new to the school and hadn’t quite figured out where he fit in just yet, but the others in class liked him and little by little, he was beginning to bloom.

You put a finger to your lips. He nodded. 

The shadow moved.

To the front door. 

You’d never heard a gunshot up close. It rang out and deafened you for a moment as glass sprayed inwards. A hand came through the hole that used to be a window. 

“Stay down.” You whispered this as you got up. Your heart hammered your ribs hard enough that black dots actually danced before your eyes. You’d never been so terrified in your life, and would have thought you’d freeze in this moment.

But you didn't freeze. You looked over your shoulder at the kids who were instead frozen in place, phones forgotten even as text bubbles popped up on screen after screen. 

“If something happens, do whatever you can to protect yourselves,” you whispered. “The police are coming.”

The hand caught the lock and turned it and you stood there, just waiting, barely breathing. Barely hearing anything over the rush of your own blood through your veins, through your temples. You heart raced. Your mouth was beyond dry. 

You waited.

John’s blood roared through his ears as he and Guy pulled up to John F. Kennedy Middle School. SWAT was already there. Paramedics and ambulances were also already there, just in case. He and Guy really didn't need to be, but as soon as he heard the alert go out, all he could think about was getting to the school. 

About getting to you.

“Shit,” he muttered at the sheer number of responders. Police. Ambulances. All with their flashers going but without any accompanying sirens. This was his first time responding to an active shooter in a school situation and that it was your school… 

He wanted to vomit. 

“Come on,” Guy tugged the keys from the ignition and thrust open his door, “let’s at least see if we can get a status update.”

“I should have called her last night. I wanted to,” John said as he climbed out of the car. “And I can’t explain why, because she’s made it clear to me she doesn’t want to talk to me. But I just had the urge to call her.”

“She knows about Stephanie.” Guy slammed the driver’s side door shut. “Angel told her.”

“Knows what? There’s nothing to know. It’s not like she’s my girlfriend.” At Guy’s long look, John shook his head. “She’s not. I’ve done nothing with her.”

“Really? Not even a kiss?”

John almost smiled at the disbelief in Guy’s voice. “Not even a kiss. It’s just not there for me. I’m not the least bit interested in kissing her or anyone else.” John moved around to the trunk and popped it, then bent over to fish out the kevlar vests with the reflective letters BHPD and Police on them. “Here.”

Guy took his and eased it over his head. “Then fucking call your teacher already, will you? You’re miserable. She’s miserable. And Angel’s pissed at both of you, which means I’m always running the risk of being miserable as well.”

John adjusted the Velcro on his vest. “Guy, I just told you—she doesn’t want to talk to me. I’ve called her about half a dozen times since we broke up and have gotten only radio silence.”

The radio on his hip crackled. “We have the suspect pinned down. Second floor classroom. Two hundreds. He’s got a teacher and about fifteen kids trapped in a classroom. Over.”

Another voice came over. “Ten-twenty. Over.” 

“Room two-twelve. Over.”

Guy lifted his radio. “Unit Fifty-Seven reporting. We just arrived on scene. Status? Over.”

“Unit Fifty-Seven, stand by at this time. Repeat, Unit Fifty-Seven, stand by. We have officers in place. Over.”

“Copy.” Guy lowered the radio. “You okay?”

“No, I’m not fine. I want to storm in there and take this guy out and that I can’t is killing me, man. I have to trust these guys—” he gestured to all of the uniforms around them—“and that’s the last thing I’m really able to do right now. And what about you? You okay? I mean, Angel teaches here, too, doesn’t she?”

“Yeah. But she took a personal day. Wedding stuff. So, right now, she is at any given mall in the state trying to find whatever it was she was trying to find and don’t ask me what because I have no idea.”

John couldn't ignore the way his gut bubbled. “Do you know if she’s doing this wedding stuff alone? Maybe she needed her maid of honor with her?”

Guy just gave him a look. “She’s here, John. Sorry, man. Angel is solo on this one.”

“Shit.” He peered over the top of their car at the officers swarming into the building. School shootings were something he simply was not used to, would never get used to, and he’d be lying if he said otherwise and it took every bit of will he had to remain where he was, because in reality, all he wanted was to get to you.

The gunshots rang out and both he and Guy spun towards the building’s north wing. Their radios went wild at that moment, with officers shouting over the pop!pop! of gunfire and then everything went horribly silent. 

“Officer requesting medical assistance to room two-twelve,” a voice crackled. “Gunman breached the classroom door and just began firing. Over.”

“Copy that. How many victims? Over.”

“Two, but injuries do not appear life threatening. Repeat, injuries do not appear life threatening.”

“And the suspect?”

“Killed at the scene.”

With that, the first responders flooded the building and John was right behind them. He had to see you, and to make sure you were okay. That was all that mattered. 

Everywhere, uniforms swarmed, escorting kids and adults out of classroom after classroom in a relatively orderly fashion. They were all oddly silent, at first, but once they were outside the building, and they caught sight of their parents or other family members, they bolted. Students hugged students Teachers hugged groups of students. Teachers hugged one another. By now, civilians cars—parents, no doubt—lined Maple Street and as kids ran out, parents swept in. Reunions were tearful, with other officers trying to keep parents from going into the building itself.

He took a step toward the building and Guy’s hand met the middle of his chest. “Porter, wait here.”

“No, I’m going in.”

“You’re not. You know the drill. We aren’t needed and we wait right here.” 

“But—”

“Right here, John.”

He glared at Guy. “Would you be waiting if it was Angel in there? Because you know you wouldn’t.”

“No,” Guy shook his head, “I wouldn’t. But you’d make damn sure I did and you know it. Now, I know it sucks, but we wait. Right here.”

John knocked Guy’s hand from his chest and stepped back. Guy was right and John knew it, but that did nothing to calm his nerves at all. He couldn't stand still. He paced. Along the sidewalk to the end and then back, where he said,“Any word?”

Guy could only shake his head. “Not yet. But, they haven’t called for any more medical assistance. Just for the two and those were non-life threatening injuries, so she’s probably fine.”

John didn't reply. The words stuck in his throat. All he could think about was the last conversation the two of you had. He was pissed off because you were supposed to go to dinner and you canceled because your reading for school was piling up and you had to get caught up. He’d acted like a spoiled git because you needed to catch up on things. And why did you need to do so?

Because he demanded you put him first. 

“Okay, tell you what. When you decide I’m as important as—” He held up the book you had to finish; All That She Carried, the Journey of Ashley’s Sack, a Black Family Keepsake—“this, give me a call.”

“John, you were the one who told me what a great idea you thought this was, that you’d understand if things got crazy. Well guess what? They got crazy.”

He sighed now. “I should’ve never walked out. I should have stayed there and insisted we work it out. Fuck.”

“What?”

He looked over at Guy. “We broke up because I was jealous. She was going back to school and all of the sudden didn't have any time for me—at least as I saw it. And I got mad. Told her to get her priorities straight, meaning put me first. She rightfully told me to fuck off and here we are and Christ, now here we are and I don’t know if she’s one of the injured and I’m just supposed to sit here and wait?”

“Yeah, John,” Guy replied softly, “that’s exactly what you’re supposed to do…”

Your hands shook and Tyler tightened his about one of yours as he said, “We made it. We’re okay. It’s over.”

You couldn’t speak. Your throat seized up as you looked first at the hand wrapped about yours, and then at the kids still in the classroom. Lisa. Deja. Donna. Tyler. Suriya. Elena. Nicole. Cameron. Dante. Gil. Samantha. Cody. Jaxon. Mackenzie. They were all there, alive and well and in one piece physically. They all looked shaken up, pale and so very young. But you managed to smile. “Text your parents,” you said softly. “Tell them you’re all okay.”

“Are you all all right?” An officer came into the room. “Is anyone injured?”

“No,” you told him, shaking your head, tightened your hands into fists again to hold the shaking at bay. “We are all fine.”

“Okay. McMichaels,” he looked over his left shoulder, “escort them out to the main parking lot.”

“Got it.” A second uniform came into the room and you tried not to pay much attention to how they just stepped around the prone figure on the floor. Tried not to pay much attention to the blood pool that slowly widened under him. 

The gunman still lay on the floor, half in the classroom, half in the hallway. A small hole in the first window was the only evidence that a sharpshooter from across the courtyard had impressive aim.

“Come with me, guys,” you told them softly, catching Tyler’s hand to help him to his feet. “Don’t look at him. Just look straight ahead, okay? Go on. I’ll be right behind you.”

They followed McMichaels, and you followed them and you tried to ignore the controlled chaos around you of paramedics and stretchers, of shattered glass, expended shell casings, and the lingering acrid scent you assumed was from the gunfire. 

“Right this way.” McMichaels led you down the main staircase and past the main office, out into a deceptively sunny, beautiful November afternoon.

As you stepped outside, you saw John and your heart stopped. You’d never been so happy, so relieved to see someone. He was pacing like a caged tiger, but then he stopped and spun about and as his steel-blue eyes met yours, he made a beeline for you.

“Thank Christ,” he growled as he swept you into his arms, crushing you close, one hand buried in your hair, his other arm so tight about you, you could barely breathe. “You’re all right, love? Tell me you’re all right.”

“I’m fine. My kids are fine and I’m fine,” you managed to grit before your throat tightened and your eyes overflowed. Without thinking, you wrapped your arms about his neck and clung to him, breathing in the sinful scent he always carried—sandalwood, eucalyptus, cinnamon.

“I’m sorry, baby,” he whispered back, squeezing you until you thought he might actually squash you. He lifted you off your feet briefly. “I’m so fucking sorry…”

“I’m okay,” you told him, sniffling as he set you down and you stepped back. “You didn't need to come—”

“Yeah, I did. As soon as the call came over, we were on our way.” He cupped your face in his hands, his thumbs moving slightly along your cheeks in the soft caress that you loved so much. You just gazed up at him, at that handsome, angular face, into those pale blue eyes. He had a way of making you feel so tiny and delicate. Maybe it was his size—he was nearly six-foot-three and all broad shoulders and wide chest. Maybe it was that he was former military and just exuded that confidence about him. You didn’t know and you didn't care. All you knew was you’d missed him. 

“Can we talk?” he murmured. “I mean, once you’re cleared to leave?”

“Do we have anything to talk about?”

“I hope so. I’ve missed you.”

“Really.” You tried not to lose yourself in his beautiful blue eyes. “What about Stephanie?”

“She was a mistake. And will probably be very glad to never hear from me again because she knew my mind was on you the entire time.”

“Bullshit.”

“Ask Guy. I’ve been miserable. I don’t like sleeping alone any more. But, trouble is, the only woman I want to sleep with is you.”

Your heart skipped a beat at that. “John—”

“I was an asshole, love,” he broke in softly. “And I do hope you’ll give me another chance. I promise you, I will make it up to you.”

“John, I—” You sighed softly. “No, you weren’t an asshole. At least, not entirely. I was, too, and I’m sorry. I expected you to just sit and wait until I had time and that’s not fair to you, either.”

“So, why don’t we start over?” He leaned in to brush your lips with his. “Want to grab dinner or something tonight?”

You smiled. “I’d like that, yes.”

“Good.” He swept a light kiss against your lips once more, then as he straightened up, he said, “Come on, let’s get you away from here.”

“Please,” you said, shaking as your adrenaline finally slowed up and a sudden wave of utter exhaustion slammed over you, “I just really want to go home now. Go home and have a strong drink.”

“Are you okay? Do you need one of the medics?”

“I’m fine. Just shaken up. He never got into our room. He got the door opened and then a bullet came out of nowhere and—” The image flashed through your mind and you shuddered involuntarily, your gaze sweeping across the school lawns. You saw a few of your students still there, and your throat squeezed shut once more. “Thank God none of my kids was hurt.”

“From the looks of it, the injuries were all minor. You were all lucky.”

You nodded slowly. “I know, but still…”

“Come on.” He slid an arm about your shoulders and guided you away from the building, whose entrance was being cordoned off with crime scene tape. You had no idea how long it would be closed for, and you really didn't care at the moment. You just wanted to go home.

With John. 

***

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