#this is the most out-of-pocket thing I’ve seen in classic who

[fritzmonorail]

WHAT THE FUCK MAN!

😨This era is wild…

[about-faces]

Batman: Caped Crusader, Episodes 1-2 thoughts (SPOILERS)

First things first, Harvey is as bad as I’d expected. I honestly can’t tell whether this is worse than the version we got in the last Timm-produced animated Batman show, “Beware the Batman.” That Harvey was a humorless prick straight out of the William Atherton school of jerkasses, while this one is a smug sleazebag who would be someone you’d love to hate if he weren’t also a complete inversion of a great tragic hero turned villain.

I’m just so sick of people portraying Harvey as a politician first and foremost, performing for the cameras and thinking about his career ambitions. I’m sick of him being a corrupt asshole and even an authoritarian. I’m sick him being two-faced, when the irony of his character is that he himself never WAS. Now that that’s out of my system, I’ll move on, because I know he has an arc in store that may prove more interesting than the usual Asshole Harvey takes.

They tried several things with the Penguin, and I’m not sure they gelled into anything that worked for me this time out. Making her a woman, that’s no problem, and I appreciate her classic style and appearance in a time when everyone just wants to turn Cobblepot into a boring Tony Soprano knockoff.

Ultimately, though, it all just served to make her a standard “Ma Barker” archetype. You know, the alleged matriarchal crime boss who was killed by Hoover’s FBI, who may have dragged her name through the mud to excuse their killing of an old woman? There used to be several takes on her in pop culture, although nowadays the only famous one is probably Ma Beagle from “DuckTales.”

With that in mind, they should have just cast Margo Martindale. Excuse me, didn’t use her full name: Beloved Character Actress Margo Martindale. Minnie Driver is a fantastic actress (I’m still mad that “The Riches” was not only cancelled but totally forgotten), but it was a waste not to let her use her real accent. As it was, she was fine, but she didn’t bring anything special to match the physical design. As an actress, she deserved more to play with.

Also, “Oswalda” is a terrible fake name. Like come on guys, you can do better. That’s on par with Revolver Ocelot’s real Russian name being “Adamska.”

The biggest problem with this take on Penguin is that she’s set up as some kind of brilliant mastermind, only to act incredibly stupid, reckless, and gullible. She kills not one but two innocent goons, including her own son, without so much as an investigation or even keeping tabs on the suspected rats to use them as pawns against Thorne! To paraphrase Dijkstra from the “Witcher” books, you don’t kill spies, you USE them. You feed them misinformation! You blackmail them into being double agents! This Penguin is bad at her job, so no wonder she loses everything within hours. It’s amazing she was able to build a crime empire in the first place!

I also dislike Bullock being a corrupt cop in the mob’s pocket. That fits Flass perfectly, but Bullock? Fuck no. Bullock IS dirty, but he’s dirty in a very acceptable way to cops. He’s brutal, he cuts corners, he’s crass, and he’s probably not above planting or concealing evidence, but selling out to the mob? Hell no. That’s just wrong. Hate that choice. Unless it’s a misdirection. This show sure does love its misdirections from what I’ve seen so far.

Batman himself is… fine. He’s Batman. He’s not a bad Batman. He’s serviceable but unremarkable. But at least he wasn’t an irritating asshole, which is more than I can say for most Batman depictions these days. I liked Bruce trying his “falling off a boat” joke a second time, delivered verbatim after it flopped with Barbara.

Barbara being a defense attorney is a rather contrived choice, one that gets to put her at odds with Harvey while also giving her a professional in with both Batman and Gordon. Essentially, she’s in the role Harvey Dent is supposed to play. Except here she’s a defense attorney, which SHOULD put her at odds with her dad, since lawyers and cops don’t seem to like one another, for SOME reason!

And Harvey, even as District Attorney, can’t be in the role of legal ally to either Gordon, because the story is far more focused on making him a mayoral candidate who throws people under the bus for his own advancement! Feh.

Anyway, that was episode one. It was fine, I guess.

The screenplay is by novelist and DC veteran Greg Rucka, so of course Renee Montoya is the central focus. Seeing her interact with Sleazebag Harvey gave me war flashbacks to what Rucka did with Renee and Harvey in the comics: setting them up with a poignant dynamic of tenuous respect and kindness before dashing it all with “Gotham Central: Half a Life,” which solidified the perception of Harvey as a creepy, obsessive stalker for a generation of fans. That version of them was very much of display here. Sigh.

Also, Lucius Fox is Bruce’s lawyer now? Why? And also, what the hell? God, poor Lucius. He starts off in comics as the guy actually running Wayne Enterprises, then “Batman: The Animated Series” makes him Bruce’s right-hand-man, then Nolan and Goyer get the inspired idea to make him the Q to Bruce’s 007, while the comics don’t know what to do with him and even make him an authoritarian to cause friction with his vigilante son, and now this? It’s such a random choice. There’s no reason why this character should be Lucius. Hell, Lucius could have shown up there WITH the lawyer and that would have been fine. As it is, it’s just weird.

That said! I overall liked this episode an awful lot! For DECADES now, I’ve wanted to see someone remember that Basil Karlo was an older actor in the classic horror movie vein (his name is literally a combination of Basil Rathbone and Boris Karloff), but ever since “Batman: The Animated Series,” everyone has just tried to make him BTAS’ Matt Hagen. Like, I really liked the “One Bad Day” issue for Clayface, where he gradually killed his way to the top of Hollywood stardom, but even that was still BTAS Hagen, the Serious Actor, not Karlo, the old horror ham actor.

But with this episode, someone finally drew on the old Hollywood horror roots of the character, and they found a way to combine his shape shifting abilities into the mix! I’m so happy!

Of course, this is me, so I still have criticisms. Like, I think it was unnecessary to frame it as a mystery, because that added unnecessary complications. I know the original Clayface story was a whodunnit and you can’t do that now that everyone knows that Karlo is Clayface. I was annoyed by the misdirection of Karlo’s “death,” in part because I feared this would be another Clever Subversion, just like how the animated adaptations of “Gotham By Gaslight,” “Hush,” and “The Long Halloween” purposely went against expectations from the source material in stupid ways. Hell, they’re doing the same thing now with Penguin (“But wait, there’s a twist: she’s a woman!”) and Harvey (“But wait, there’s a twist: he’s an asshole!”), so I was afraid this Clayface would end up being someone else entirely. I was okay with it in the end, but I’m annoyed at the cheap fakeout as a plot point.

Furthermore, I don’t get why Basil disguised himself as the doctor (whose name I don’t remember) for the benefit of the actress (whose name I don’t remember) he had chained up in his hideout. What benefit was there in making her think he was the doctor? She was already aware she was a prisoner and was scared, so why the facade? It served no purpose in context, only just to misdirect the viewers.

This is what happens when you try to make something a mystery when it would work better as a thriller. Stop trying to wow audiences with twists and surprises when you could just be focusing on telling a good story. So what if everyone figures out Karlo is Clayface? Who cares! Just go with it! Let them be in on it while Batman and Montoya figure it out themselves, that’s where the tension lies! Stop trying to be clever.

Regardless, I really liked this episode. I want this to now be the canon comics origin for Basil Karlo’s Clayface. Just explain that the treatments for his face gradually affected his whole body, and boom, you’ve successfully explained how classic Slasher Clayface became Mud Monster Clayface. This is how Karlo should always be written from now on. If you really want a sensitive, angsty lug Clayface, bring back Hagen. Let Karlo be the gloriously hammy monster with aspirations of stardom.

[lolitakirstein]

Hey Neighbor Pt 9

Part 8

WC: ~1.5k

AN: I'm so worried about writing longer chapters in case they are too boring. but I hate splitting things up when I'm on a roll. ha

You watched as the man you had run into exited Toji’s house 30 minutes later. Unable to hear what the two were discussing you relied on their body language to give you some hint as to who he was. The men seemed formal towards each other yet relaxed; Toji with his hands in his pocket or across his chest, the other guy casually lighting a cigarette while showing his back to toji. There must be some level of trust between them, then. Before the man leaves, you notice him gesture towards your house. You draw back further from the window, afraid of being seen.

Once the car is out of sight and Toji returns to his house, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Should you ask Toji who he was or was that being too nosy? Not like i’ll get a straight answer, he refuses to tell me anything, you think, settling on being nonchalant about it.

Fortunately, you had work to keep you focused. And most fortunately, your hangover was minimal. Nothing more than a slight throb thanks to the pain meds Toji had offered you. You become robotic as you scan, sort, and shelve books and answer the same boring questions from customers. 

Before you can notice, it’s your lunch break. You sit in the small cafe that the bookstore offers, downing a hot chai latte and checking your phone. One message from the work group chat and one from Toji that was sent a few hours ago

Toji: You ok?

You fight back the urge to send, “I can’t tell you right now, it’s not the right time,” instead, pocketing your phone and playing hard to get. You clock back into work, ready to start the second half of your shift. 

 Wait, am I wanting him to chase me or something? This guy who knows things but won't tell me? Why am I trying to act like this is a dude i’ve swiped on Tindr? This guy has secrets, deep ones. Ones I probably don’t wanna know—

“Excuse me,” a soft voice snaps you out of your internal monologue. You spin around and are met with a man. His dark auburn hair is close-cropped at the sides while the top fashionably brushes just above his deep brown eyes. A soft shadow of stubble peppers his strong jaw. 

“Oh, hello. Can I help you?” you quickly revert to the robotic motions of a customer service provider.

“Yeah, I was looking for your classical section.”

“Are you looking for anything in particular,” you ask after leading him to the designated section of the store. 

“What would you recommend?” 

A question every worker hates. “Well, can never go wrong with Doestrevsky.” 

“Ah, yes, I read Crime and Punishment in school. Incredible prose,” he responds. 

Your heart lifts at finally being able to discuss books with someone. “Indeed, if you like that, you might like The Idiot. Same themes of human nature and society.” You grab a copy off the shelf and hand it to me. 

“Well I’d be an idiot if I didn’t take the advice of such a beautiful, well-read woman,” he says coyly as you walk to the counter.  You internally groan but also can’t help but blush at the compliment, though the joke was indeed awful.

“Let me know how you like it?” you say after ringing him up and bagging his purchase. 

“How about we discuss it over dinner sometime,” he cocks an auburn brown.

“Oh,” you stammer, thrown off by the sudden offer. It’d been so long since you’d been on a date you forgot what it was like to be asked out. “Sure!”

“Great I’ll keep you posted on my progress,” the man who you now know as Connor pockets his phone after you exchange numbers. “I look forward to discussing it with you and hearing your beautiful thoughts.”

Ok, he was laying it on a little thick but you don't mind. The only interaction you had had with a man for the past few months had been with Toji. And those interactions were hardly civil, much less flirty. Though Toji tended to tease, it was mostly to throw you off the topic of his secrets. 

The rest of your shift goes by quickly and you arrive home before the sun goes down. As you get out of your car, you notice Toji sitting on his porch steps. You try to ignore him but ignoring him is like trying to ignore a bear about to devour you. You give a wave, walking fast to your house. 

“You ok?” Toji asks, still sitting on the steps. Damn, he either can’t take a hint or is just stubborn. 

“Yeah, thanks,” you respond fumbling your keys out of your pocket. You drop them. Cursing yourself for being so easily intimidated by him you stoop to pick them up. Toji’s feet appear in your line of vision. You look up at the giant man standing over you. You want to feel afraid, but you can’t deny the absolute feral part of your brain at the sight of him standing over you. 

“Why didn’t you text me back?” the possessive tone didn’t help dampen the submissive part of your psyche. Damn, why do I have to be such a whore for crazy men?

“I was working,” you squeak out, picking your keys up and walking to your front steps. 

“I wanna talk,” Toji says behind you as you march up the steps and unlock your door. 

“It’s fine Toji. Nothing to talk about,” you turn around, Toji is standing at the bottom of your porch steps. 

“There is,” Toji huffs a breath. “A lot, actually.”

You were not in the mood for this. Your day ended on a good note and you intend for it to stay that way. “Look, whatever it is. I don’t care.”

“Yes you do,” Toji takes one step up. 

You shake your head, even though you were screaming yes in your head. You will not let him win. “Nah, I’m good. I really couldn't care less what your little secrets are. I don’t even know you.”

“It’s not that, it’s just—”

The notification on your phone interrupts the moment. You reach into your pocket for it and notice a text from Connor. 

Connor: I hope you had a good rest of your day. I must say, you made mine :) 

Oh, the cringe was off the charts with this guy. But you can’t keep the stupid smile from appearing on your face. Followed by a giggle. Shit I’m giggling over a guy. I need laid 

“Who’s that?” Toji asks sharply.

“No one,” you shake your head.

“No one huh,” Toji takes another step up, finally standing in front of you. “‘No one’ got you smiling like a goof?”

“You have your secrets, I have mine,” you shrug.  

“You don't blush like that for just no one,” Toji teases, he steps so close you can feel the heat off of him. “Now who could possibly be making sweet little y/n blush so much besides me?”

You crane your neck up to look at him, refusing to show he’s affecting you. “I can’t tell you. It’s not the right time.”

Finally, you manage to knock him off his game by throwing his words back at him. He steps back, putting some distance between you. A scowl wrinkles his brow and his jaw ticks as he clenches his teeth. You smirk, pleased with yourself. “Good night toji.”

Toji

Toji stares at the door you slammed in his face, stricken dumb by the sass you dished out. He had expected this to be a moment of confession, finally getting it all out in the open. Now standing at your closed door, Toji has no choice but to retreat back home.

After dinner and tucking Megumi into bed, Toji collapses onto his king-size bed. He turns his head to the window, towards your house. The lamp on your bedside table creates a soft glow from your window. He watches as you enter the bedroom. Your eyes on your phone, smiling. 

Toji clenches his jaw. Here he was ready to start having an honest conversation with you, and you were too busy with this mysterious ‘no one.’ He hated being this way, but he couldn’t deny that he felt a sense of protectiveness over you. 

He watches you throw your phone on the bed, the giddy smile still on your lips—perfect lips, soft delicate lips he’s thought about kissing on multiple occasions. With your back to the window, you remove your shirt and toss it to the chair before you begin sliding your pants down. As much as Toji would love nothing more than to watch, he has enough decency to look away, he’s not THAT much of a pervert. 

He reaches into his back pocket, depositing the contents beside him. 

First is his cellphone which he text Shiu–I need to borrow a few of your tech geeks.

The second, is a sealed envelope. No address, no street names or numbers. Just 3 words written in delicate script:

il mio agnellino

[sitp-recs]

Happy Friday, friends! I’ve never done monthly wrap ups before but since Wireless pulled me back from a brief hiatus, I thought it would be cool to share some things I’ve been reading, that could use more love. 10 fics both old and new, Drarry and rare pairs, Wireless treats; pick your poison and have fun! 🙌

Drarry

Muscle Memory by @corvuscrowned (E, 7k) - brilliant concept perfectly executed, I’m so here for curse-breaking colleagues who fuck at the job to pass time and then forget about it every time 🤌🏼 genius and intriguing and captivating as per crow’s usual

There's something just beneath the surface, just at the periphery of Harry's mind. They've been here before — they've done this before. If only he could remember it.

And Embers at Your Lips by @nametheshadows (T, 15k) - sequel to one of my all-time favorite 8th year fics with insomniac roommates just as soft and healing as LLAYF. Gorgeous prose and all the kissing. Highly rec this series for A+ comfort food!

The sequel to Like Lightning at Your Fingertips: the kissing montage. And there’s that thing with Potter’s magic.

Rich Friend, Anon (E, 18k) - one of my faves from Wireless, pop star!Draco never gets old and both the pacing and the romance are perfectly developed! I live for Harry’s horny yearning and for their road trip together, kudos to casual Harry/Neville as a side ship!

As far as Harry can tell, Draco Malfoy is still rich as hell. He’s just not a wizard anymore. Featuring: Draco Malfoy trying to make it as a Muggle pop star, Harry Potter as our confused and horny hero, bad driving, good music, and the mysterious magic of falling for someone.

Waking Up Slow, Anon (E, 22k) - this ode to advent Drarry fics took my breath away with a charming Draco, fun dynamics, an enchanting Christmas shop and one of the sexiest smut scenes I’ve read this year, 10/10 recommend for hot & sweet magical vibes and lots of references as an homage to the classics!

'Twas the night before Christmas, although it’s July / Draco’s a shopkeeper, no-one knows why / There’s hiking and witch caves, freak snowfalls and more / Bad Christmas jumpers, nosy neighbours galore / Narcissa’s here too, but… something’s amiss / And what’s in those chocolates that’s making them kiss?

We Are Legend by Vaysh (E, 38k) - happy to report to @romaine2424 that I have finally read this epic apocalypse AU and am shooketh with its originality and serious tone. One of the most creative takes I’ve seen on animagus Draco, a poignant and devastating war story.

Eighty years into the future, Voldemort won. Harry Potter is a renegade wizard, Portkeying Muggles out of London to Hogwarts, last sanctuary in a Britain ruled by the Dark Lord. On a mission he encounters a powerful phoenix Animagus fighting on the Death Eaters' side. He recognises Draco Malfoy whom he thought long dead. But the differences between them are perhaps even greater than before. Cw: MCD

LA, Who Am I To Love You?, Anon (E, 42k) - I cannot believe this beauty was written for my lil Wireless prompt ♥️ perfect LA vibes, gorgeous aesthetics, horny ust and a fascinating take on both down and out bi Harry and out and proud bi Draco, we love to see it! Couldn’t have asked for a better story to fill my prompt, ty anon!

Harry’s summer in LA is not going as expected. Pansy Parkinson keeps inviting him to parties in the Hollywood Hills and harassing him to finally go to the physical therapist, Blaise Zabini keeps slipping new strains of his company’s magical weed into Harry’s pockets in hopes of an endorsement, and Draco Malfoy keeps having sex with everyone but Harry.

Rare Pairs

A Different Tune by November Snowflake (M, 8k) - very nice Dron get together, short & sweet with an undercurrent melancholy that I love, just what I needed before bed

Working in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office has led Ron to many strange encounters--but none more unexpected than this one. Cw: Harry’s dead

The Years Between by brummell (M, 14k) - another rare pair fave, this Rarry fic told from Ron’s smitten and jealous pov as he helps Harry recover from a coma is so deliciously raw and angsty. Gorgeous slow burn, the feels!

For both Harry and Ron, a wake-up call is just the beginning.

Things Remembered by avioleta (E, 17k) - best Snarry fic I’ve read this year, I’m low key obsessed with this hitmen + amnesia concept and how the romance develops so organically while they’re on the run. Intriguing plot, sexy ust and super scorching smut that made me salivate jfc 🔥

Harry wakes up in an unfamiliar bed, in an unfamiliar hotel room, and with absolutely no idea who he is. The man he’s in bed with has no memories either. But they think, maybe, they’re assassins, because they seem to be very good at killing people.

A Dress with Pockets by PacificRimbaud (E, 25k) - a Panville classic recced by anon (ty!!), what a sexy and vibrant read! I LOVED Neville and their dynamics are brilliant and so funny, I just couldn’t get enough of these characters. 100% sold on this ship pls and thank

Pansy Parkinson needed a drink. And a shag. She didn't care in which order. Enter: Neville fucking Longbottom and his rolled up sleeves.

[stitchyblogs]

Stitchy, How Do I Get Back into The Muppets?

Muppet memes are everywhere. They trend every time Brett Goldstein gets his hands on a microphone, or a British politician puts their foot in their mouth. Let the Muppets host the Oscars! Miss Piggy dumps Pete Davidson! Knives Out III! But, reader... it’s been a long time since you last hopped over to sip Lipton’s on Kermit’s lily pad, hasn’t it? And you kind of miss it.

I’m imagining you, dear reader. Not in a weird way or anything... I’m just being transparent about who I intend my audience to be, because I have Twitter poisoning. You know how it is, you rascal, you. I know, because I’m imagining you into existence! Let’s just go with it! Yeah, so- I bet you’re thirty something, low forties. You say ‘No worries!’ a lot, but you sure do have worries. How can you not? You’re way too online, but you hope to the Great Gazoo you’re pulling it off, looking merely casually plugged in, in public. You maybe don’t have kids, who've forced you to plumb the depths of Disney +, but you do have it, because you’re not immune to Baby Yoda and the bionic biceps of a one Bucky Barnes. Aside from that fatuous affair, you’re also in a ever evolving polycule with at least three streaming services, but they still aren’t *quite* delivering what you need from the relationship. You kind of miss being restricted to whatever 6 VHS tapes were in the TV hutch of your childhood home. If you’re too young for VHS, you at least remember having to mail actual disks back and forth with Netflix. You remember that once, practical effects were the only effects. You have taste! And curiosity! And heart! You tear up when you think about Mr. Rogers for too long, which is very sexy of you. Most importantly, dear reader, you appreciate a bit of cornball. You like a lil goof. A cheeky lil pun. A gag so cheap, the shopkeeper is looking the other way as you pocket it, secretly stoked to get it off the damn shelf already... Nobody’s looking, ya know. It’s okay to admit it! You like hokey jokes. In fact, you're spiritually wearing boxers with hearts on them right now, just in case. Not that I’m imagining you in your spiritual underwear.

Did I make it weird?

Shh, shh, it’s fine. I’m Stitchy, by the way! I am alllllll of these things too- it’s fine! Well, I’m not super into Bucky, if we’re being honest- which we are! Because we’re friends now! And you know, friends can ask each other embarrassing questions. Your question is the headline of this, so I won’t beat around the bush anymore. I’m gonna do you a solid. I’m gonna tell you.... How to get back into the Muppets.

Hey, wait! You sneak! You! That guy peeking over the shoulder of the reader I was just talking to. You’ve never seen any Muppets on purpose at all, and you’re hoping I can set you up, too? Ha! I knew it… Yeah, that’s okay. You can follow this list. I won’t rat you out, as long as you don’t tell Rizzo I said ‘rat’ in that context.

Muppet Immersion PART 1:  The New Shit.

You’ve already seen the stuff that came down the pipeline in the 90’s. You Mnah Mnah’ed your butt off in your tender youth, and nowadays you still get a little confused when there’s only one Marley in non-Muppet Christmas Carols. You vaguely know that the good people at Henson Co. made post-Y2K projects, but you haven’t checked them out, because you had important, more grown up things to worry about, like curating your MySpace top eight. Then time got away from you. That’s okay, bud- because I’ve been on my muppetfrickin’ grind.

(One note: not all Muppet Materials are made with our age group in mind, and that’s okay! I’m sure Muppet Babies 2.0 has its moments, but we’re only looking at the slightly more mature pieces.)

1. The Muppets, 2011 (watch on Disney +)

They struck gold when tapping lifelong muppet freak Jason Segel to write and star in the Muppet’s comeback to the silver screen. With the expert musical-comedy midwifery of Flight of the Conchord’s James Bobin (director), and Bret McKenzie (music), a beautiful baby Muppet was born! It’s a classic tale of “We’ve gotta get the band back together and put on the best show this town has ever seen Or Else!”. The Or Else, if you’re wondering, is oil tycoon Chris Cooper’s plan to obliterate the Muppet Theater. Best work he’s ever done, I tell ya. Same goes for Amy Adams, who absolutely nails her role as the doting but levelheaded Mary, who’s fiancé is troublingly codependent with his Muppet brother, Walter. Oh, Walter. A wide eyed, whistling optimist, who deserves love and puppies and the whole entire world. In the words of Phil Spector (Yikes) to know know know him is to love love love him. A great entry point for returning, or newly budding Muppet enthusiasts. Highlights include the knock off ‘Moopets’, hostage Jack Black, and Muppet turned man Jim Parsons.

1.5 The sequel, Muppets Most Wanted, 2014 (also available on Disney +) doesn’t work for me. Seeing as it’s my guide to Muppet Immersion, I say you can skip it if you’re not feeling like another feature film, just now! My beef may not be your beef, though. (Too much Ricky Gervais, too much faux-Kermit, and not enough Walter... ((My soul will never be at rest until I understand why TPTB lost faith in Walter as the new audience surrogate. I can only hope Serial has plans to investigate.))) Maybe Muppets Most Wanted will work for you! Definitely DO NOT MISS the absolute feast of bops, again penned by Bret McKenzie:

1.5 a. “I’ll Give it To You” 

1.5 b. The Interrogation Song, a thrilling double act by Ty Burrell and Sam the Eagle 

1.5 c. We’re Doing a Sequel!  

1.5 d. Something So Right featuring none other than powerhouse Celine Dion

1.5 e. Something So Right Demo Reel, because you need to have Bret’s Miss Piggy in your ears, too. 

Whenever Piggy wears a hat with one lil’ ear out!? That’s the good stuff.

2. It’s time to play the music, it’s time to light the lights, it’s time to fire up the Baby Yoda machine to watch The Muppets, 2015. Confusing, yeah... It’s the same-named, but sadly short lived series, spun out from the success of the new films. The docu-sitcom format is a natural fit for the fourth-wall breaking Muppets. For the first time since 1984’s Muppets Take Manhattan, Kermit is solidly the leading man. We find him back in the studio, producing Up Late With Miss Piggy, amidst a flurry of Muppet interpersonal problems. As a quintessential Will They, Won’t They couple of the last half a century- it’s kind of incredible that the Muppet media that best portrays why Kermit and Piggy love each other is the one where they are very emphatically Did, But Don’t Anymore. It’s a refreshingly grown-up main story line! Aside from that- we all know C is for Cookie, but B is for B-Plots and running gags that absolutely slap. Fozzie’s beleaguered love life, Uncle Deadly’s wrangling of Piggy’s vast wardrobe, Scooter’s ongoing beef with his mother’s boyfriend, the meddling network president June Diane Raphael... I truly can’t get enough! Because they canceled it! Hmmph! And a pink satin heeled kick, and a hiiiii-ya!!

Anyway, the cameos and needle drops are expertly deployed, as fitting and offbeat as ever. I’m especially fond of Christina Applegate, Ed Helms, and Josh Groban’s appearances.

My absolute favorite episode, if you watch only one, is “Swine Song”. The network saddles Up Late With Miss Piggy with a brand manager who’s dead set on giving the show a face lift. Key and Peele, now reduced to running an Etsy shop after their own fiasco with the brand manager, feature.

I don’t know what happened, that we didn’t get more of The Muppets. Perhaps the 30 Rock-ification of the Muppets might have been more at home on a different network, with a different pool of veteran talents and sensibilities? Were we as a society just not ready in 2015 for a story about workplace friends, grounded by such sincerity? Eh, maybe. It’s no surprise Ted Lasso’s Bret Goldstein is one of the most vocal proponents for a Muppet comeback, with that in mind. Same niche!

If there is any justice in this universe… [clenches fist]

3. The Muppets Haunted Mansion, 2021, on Disney + is a welcome return to form after the platform’s first “exclusive” but paltry offering of Muppets Now (Don’t even... Don’t even bother to look…). Gonzo and Pepe challenge themselves to face their fears and spend the night in the spookiest place on earth, inspired by the beloved Disneyland ride. It’s great. If you’ve taken my advice this far and you’re still in, just. Just go for it. It’s 52 minutes. What else you got goin’ on? You’re elbow deep in some internet weirdo’s ramblings about a fifty year old troupe of talking socks.

Can’t get enough? Need to soak in hours more of puppety perfection?

4. The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance, 2019, Netflix. Not technically the Muppets TM, but absolutely a must see for a burgeoning Henson buff. Did you ever see the original 1982 film? Do! It’s rentable. The Dark Crystal is some high fantasy, live action, no humans, all puppet madness. It’s disturbing and strange and beautiful. An age old tale of corruption and ideals, told by some of the cutest, oddest little creatures you’ll ever see. (Deet and Hup!!!) And I mean. C’mon. The vocal talent! They didn’t even fit Bill Hader on the wiki cheat sheet, that’s how stacked it is!

5. Fraggle Rock: Back to the Rock, 2022, Apple TV. This one’s definitely made for the kids, but it’s exactly as lovingly rebooted as you hoped.

We’re getting down to some slim, definitely non mandatory pickings, now. Uhhhh…

6. Miss Piggy made an appearance on Drag Race!

7. The creature workshop whipped up some puppets for Coldplay’s Biutyful music video!

8. And here’s a half hour supercut of a bunch of ads featuring the Muppets, in the last fifteen years or so. It’s not entertainment, per se, but at the very least, you’ll see the Kermit Sipping Tea origin.

PART 2: Outside Readings

The road to your Masters in Muppetfrickery has been paved by many scholars. Here are a few peers whose work you might like to check out, now that you’re no longer a tadpole, but a fully grown frog, with hard cover books and podcast subscriptions, and junk!

Jim Henson: The Biography, by Brian Jay Jones

This book is exactly the comprehensive, compassionate deep dive you hope it is. Watch out, though! It did make me cry in an airport.

I Am Big Bird: The Caroll Spinney Story, 2015.

A feel good documentary about the man under the bird. Available on Prime, Peacock, and others.

Muppet Guys Talking, 2017

Five of the original Muppet performers discuss their iconic characters. Muppetguystalking.com

Street Gang: How We Got to Sesame Street, 2021.

You guessed it! A doc about Sesame Street, on HBO.

Defunctland has also done some stellar coverage of the Muppets, Fraggle Rock, and more!  

Follow ToughPigs.com for a survey of what's up and coming in the various Henson adjacent worlds, and top tier curation of Muppet history. They have a podcast, too!

If you are lucky enough to live in NYC or DC, you can even see some Muppets in person!

Museum of Moving Image 

The Smithsonian

PART 3: The Oldies!

Whatever Muppet movies you had access to as a kid- there’s a good chance there’s one you missed! Good news is there’s still time to play catch up- whew!

Stitchy’s TOP TEN of the pre 2000 canon:

1. THE MUPPET MOVIE 1979 (Disney +)

2. MUPPET TREASURE ISLAND 1996 (Disney +)

3. THE MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL 1992 (Disney +)

4. THE DARK CRYSTAL 1982 (Rent Only?)

5. LABYRINTH 1986 (Netflix)

6. THE GREAT MUPPET CAPER 1981 (Disney +)

7. MUPPETS FROM SPACE 1999 (Rent Only?)

8. THE MUPPETS TAKE MANHATTAN 1984 (Prime)

9. THE MUPPET SHOW 1976-1981*** (Disney +)

10. EMMET OTTER’S JUGBAND CHRISTMAS 1977 (Prime, Peacock)

If you’ve missed any of the top 5, BOY HOWDY are you in for a treat. Especially if you’ve never seen the original Muppet movie. I am on my hands and Always Conveniently Off Screen Knees, begging you to give it a shot. If it’s been decades- give it a watch with fresh eyes. It’s a sweet, simple, silly story about a frog who dreams of making people happy. It’s about art, and integrity, and joy, and friendship, and it’s just about the only place you’re gonna get Hare Krishna jokes, nowadays.

Of course, this list is just a start. There were quite a few obscure TV specials and series besides, but as they are very hard to track down on streaming, I won’t insist on their viewing. I do highly recommend the series Jim Henson’s The Storyteller, 1987-1989, however. These episodes are all self contained if you can dig one up on Google, and they are exquisite pieces of art. John Hurt stars as the gruff old Storyteller, weaving fantastical yet tactile folk tales that have stuck with me for decades.

***Sheesh! The Muppet Show is like, 44 hours of television. I can do better than just point you at it in its totality! That brings us to:

PART 4: Going Right to the Source.

It’s the OG. THE Muppet Show.

By all means, crack open that laptop and follow your nose! There are legends aplenty to pick from, and just about every one of the 120 episodes has a classic moment, somewhere in there. As you scroll through the many guests, I’m sure you’ll be drawn to such greats as Rita Moreno (This appearance is The E in her EGOT!), John Cleese, Julie Andrews, Bernadette Peters, Steve Martin, Elton John, Madeline Khan, Gilda Radner, the cast of Star Wars, and Carol Burnette. They all put on fantastic shows that are essential viewing, but I must also put in a good word for some personal favorites.

Paul Williams, one of the great American songwriters, author of The Rainbow Connection and many other classics 

Vincent Price, your favorite creepy uncle, and mine. (That’s right! We’re not just friends, we’re also cousins!)

Avery Schreiber, who never ever holds back, and whose episode features the fantastic Electric Mayhem rendition of “Tenderly”. 

Sandy Duncan, who’s “Nice Girl Like Me” is an unforgettable, leggy revamp of the Manilow classic.

Mummenschanz, who are impossible to describe, but who would have ruled Tik Tok.

Leo Sayer, serving up three of my favorite 70’s tunes.

Pearl Bailey, bringing down the house with a pastiche sure to delight any musical theater nerd.

Harry Belafonte. “Turn the World Around” never fails to bring a tear to my googly eye.

Linda Ronstadt, lacerating the ONLY live vocals in the history of the show, and also crushing so so hard on Kermie. Relatable af

PART 4: Looking Forward

 (video) 

And you may ask yourself, "What Muppet Am I?" And you may ask yourself, "Why are there so many songs about Rainbows?"

What should come next for the Muppets? I say, if Disney is gonna own everything and everypiggy, go whole hog! Make Kermit the Avenger’s new therapist. Maybe he’s outside their insurance network (and dimension) but they have great rapport! Give Piggy a real late night slot, and get Grogu on to host a remote segment! Keep making the kids their kid shows, but embrace the grown up Gen X and Millennial audience with their own fare. Get back to the Muppets Sex and Violence roots, I double dog dare ya! Make a Muppet dating sim! Reboot Statler and Waldorf: From the Balcony on Youtube! Hook up Lil Nas X with the Electric Mayhem! Stop dicking me around and get the Muppets to host the Oscars, for real! Bring back my best boy Walter, and take advantage of the Muppets’ unparalleled skill for literary adaptation. A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Muppet is a story that demands to be told! 

Well, we do know one new series on the way in 2023- The Muppets Mayhem. A junior record exec must wrangle the unwrangle-able Electric Mayhem through the modern music industry as they record an album. I don’t know about you, but I’m crossing my furry little fingers.

[itjazzbicch]

School Dance

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugo x Fem Reader

Summary: Surprising all of their classmates and friends when Bakugo reveals he’s the readers date for the dance, the night goes better than the reader could ever imagine….

(Might do this with more characters because I like the concept!)

Warnings: N/A

Word Count: 1.4k

Tag List: @writtingrose

I DO NOT OWN THIS GIF:

“Aww Y/N! You look gorgeous!”

Tonight, UA was having a school dance and that compliment from Momo, all of my other girl friends in my class cheering me on as I made way over to them near the doors had me blushing.

“Thank you,” I smiled shyly, fixing my black dress, making sure I returned the favor, “You all look beautiful. I can’t wait to have a fun time tonight.”

“All of the fun!” Uraraka cheered, jumping a little as Toru appeared next to me suddenly:

“So, who’s your date?!”

My date for the dance was exactly why I was so nervous. No one knew that I had a crush and I managed to have him come to the dance as my date.

“My date is, uh-“ I was so nervous to share this, but we all came to a halt as we heard:

“Hello, ladies!”

Of course, Minoru was already in flirt, pervy mode, fixing his bow tie as he made is way over from all of the guys in class. I don’t think I’ve seen a time where we all were so dressed up and formal. We looked amazing! Every one of us, but my eyes were locked on someone special.

A bang of fireworks went off in my head, heart rate picking up at the sight of Bakugo, in classic tuxedo and my gosh, he looked as handsome as ever. The rest of my classmates started to pair up, Deku and Uraraka, Kyoko and Denki, Mina and Kirishima, but all eyes fell on us whenever Bakugo stepped up to me.

It was as if none of them were there when my gaze locked with Bakugo’s, his eyes finding my small heels, up my black glitter dress, past my jewelry, right into my eyes. I don’t think I’ve seen a time where he was speechless, that making me more nervous as I slid a piece of hair behind my ear, holding my hands and smiling softly:

“Hey, Bakugo. You look so handsome.”

“O-Of course, I do,” My goodness, he was stuttering, the slight blush in his cheeks quite adorable, my heart fluttering more as he began to say, “You look beau-“

“Aww, Kacchan! Y/N is your date?” Deku was just trying to be happy for him, but Bakugo never tolerated a word he said, turning around and his face turning more red as he yelled:

“Shut up before I kill you, Deku!”

“I’m sorry! I was just asking, Kacchan!” Those two had a weird relationship, it was funny most of the time, getting a giggle out of that to calm my nerves some, taking Bakugo’s mind off of Deku when I softy interlocked our arms:

“Let’s not kill Deku and go have some fun?”

“If it gets me away from that nerd!” He kept his hands in his pockets as he turned along with me, but kept our arms together, actually pulling me in closer a little.

I couldn’t keep my eyes off him the entire time we made our way in and it was so weird having all eyes on us. Everyone probably expected Bakugo not to show up, let alone with me, but it felt good, smiling shyly again as our classmates followed, Momo, Mira, and Kyoko waving to me before we all split up:

“Have fun, Y/N!”

I planned on having all of the fun in the world, that was till things didn’t go according to plan. There were some activities for all of us to play around, but the one thing I wanted to do most was dance. Sadly, I ended up sitting alone while Bakugo went to get food to chow down, bummed out that he wasn’t the dancing type. I don’t know why was even surprised

“Y/N? Why the long face? Did Bakugo do something?!”

Momo was the greatest friend, spotting me and making sure I was okay, sighing deeply and mocking Bakugo as I answered her:

“I wanted to go dance but, dancing is for ‘nerds’.”

“Ugh, that Bakugo,” Her eyes rolled softly, glancing over to spot him along with Kirishima, Denki, Shoto, and Deku with all of their food, “You know what, come dance with us girls! I know Mira’s been dying to get on that dance floor.”

Dances weren’t always about your dates and her offer put a bright smile on my face, jumping up and nodding, “Me too! Let’s hit that floor, huh?”

“Let’s go!” She smiled, taking my hand and dragging me along.

I was grateful for the amazing friends I had. All of us girls got into a circle on the dance floor, dancing our souls away to all the music, there was even a dance battle! It took all of my worries away, giggling and smiling till a slow song came on, Present Mic the DJ, of course, and loudly announcing the song, which was clearly made for couples.

A wave a blue sadness fell over me as us girls parted ways, all of my friends finding their dates for the slow dance, while I went to make my way to my seat.

“Hey Y/N, why are you sitting down?”

Kosei from class 1-B? What was he doing?

“Because, I’m not dancing?” I said, confused as to what he was doing, till he offered his hand and smiled:

“Need a partner? A girl like you shouldn’t be sitting here all alone.”

I was going to kindly reject his offer, I could never do such a thing to Bakugo, but there was no time to, glancing past Kosei’s shoulder as we heard:

“Hey, nerd!”

Oh boy, Bakugo might actually blast someone to bits, now! Just the anger in his eyes was enough for fear to rattle me and break me out in goosebumps, Bakugo flinging Kosei around to face him:

“You’re trying to pick up my girl? The nerve you have!”

Wait a second, Bakugo just called me, his girl?

I was positive my heart stopped when I heard those words, hoping this wouldn’t escalate as Kosei spat back:

“Your girl? If she’s your girl, why’s she sitting here all alone and sad, huh? I was only offering her a dance!”

“Well how about you go somewhere and die!” Bakugo growled, brushing past his shoulder to meet me, taking my hand, “Because little do you know, that’s exactly what we’re about to go do!”

Was this real?! Either way, hearing that put a smile on my face, Bakugo making sure he shot another dirty look to Kosei as he turned towards the dance floor, “Let’s go, babe.”

BABE?! He was going to be the death of me!

I didn’t realize it till we got out on the dance floor that I was shaking, the feeling of his hands on my hips helping me settle. His hands were so warm and since he was so comfortable, I rested my arms on his shoulders and around his neck, smiling up to his eyes even though he was still a bit angry:

“Just know, I’m killing any guy who ever tries to pick you up.”

He was always so angry and I just giggled, shaking my head at him softly, appreciating the feelings behind his brutal words, just smiling as we began to sway softly and dance to the music:

“Never mind them. Just remember, I’m always going to be by your side, not theres’.”

That put a small smirk on his face, making me even happier because that was the closest thing to smile I’ve seen yet, having a bit of an attitude, but deep meaning behind his next words:

“Well, they better remember that you’re my girl.”

“All yours, Bakugo,” I closed my eyes as I smiled at him, hands down the best day I’ve had at UA, going to rest my head on his chest, but as I began to move my head, I felt a softness against my lips, filling up with warmth, a swirl in my head, heart, everything.

Bakugo was kissing me?! My first kiss!

Just when I thought this night couldn’t get even better, when I opened my eyes, he was smiling, a small smile, but it was a smile! A real one!

Breathing heavy as I rested my head against his chest and he was good at reading me, rubbing my back softly, laying his head on top of mine, making me feel as if it was just the two of us, the music, and the love in my heart for him.

[writeforfandoms]

Oh I can imagine some of the absolute whack pranks Sneaky plays.

She doesn’t go too hard on Gaz and Ghost, though she does get them on occasion. With Ghost she keeps it small, like hiding tiny ducks all over his room. Her biggest prank on Ghost was putting streamers all over his room.

And with Gaz, her biggest prank was filling one of his drawers with marbles.

She doesn’t hold back towards Soap though. It’s how she shows him affection (secretly she’s trying to court him but she grew up with tomfoolery as her family’s love language so it doesn’t quite translate lmao) so she does the most out of pocket things she can think of.

The following is based on real threats I’ve thrown at my friends:

She tapes shrimp to his ceiling. Fake, real, doesn’t matter. There’s shrimp up there. Sneaking the step stool into his room was a real challenge but she’s stubborn.

She covers his floor in pieces of toast

Fills his room with rubber ducks. Big ones, little ones. You ever seen that comedian who kept upping the ante with his ducks in the bathroom? She gets the BIGGEST inflatable duck she can get her hands on and has Gaz help inflate it. Soap can barely get his door open and has to shimmy inside.

Fills his shoes with Jello

Or engages in classic pranks like covering everything he owns in wrapping paper. Literally everything.

(I’m having too much fun thinking of how Sneaky would go ham pranking everyone’s favorite Scott)

🦝🦝🦝

Okay but the thought that Sneaky is trying to court Soap but doing it in her family's way??? And there's some miscommunication because of different traits??? I am lowkey screeching over this and it has haunted me since I saw this ask days ago omg

Also all those pranks have me cackling. Those two would absolutely start a prank war and I love it.

Just imagine the two of them pranking each other and they're both trying to figure out how to court the other and the rest of the team is just. So done with them and their lack of figuring things out. Gaz eventually is the one that boils over first and throws his hands up and shouts something at Soap about courting and Soap just. Full on blue screens.

But he does make an actual move after that.

[bardraelyn]

The Gift of the Magi (a Good Omens meta)

If you’ve been following the Good Omens discourse, you’ve probably seen discussions around whether Aziraphale’s choice of the name “Jim” for Gabriel comes from either the cabin boy in Treasure Island or the titular character in the novel Lord Jim by Joseph Conrad.

But what if there’s a more subtle connection that viewers haven’t caught onto yet? And what if it’s a connection that Aziraphale intuited on a such a deep level he didn’t even realize it, the very moment Gabriel showed up naked on the his doorstep? And what if it’s a connection that has deep significance to his actions in the final 15?

Let’s follow this thought down the wooded winter path and see where it goes, shall we?

Before we proceed, we must first pause a moment to reflect on a classic O. Henry short story, which shares the title of this post: “The Gift of the Magi.” If you aren’t familiar with it, or if it’s been a while since you last read it, you can refresh your memory here (text) or here (text) or here (video). O. Henry lived from 1862 to 1910, and I’ve no doubt that Aziraphale would be aware of this author. What’s more, Neil Gaiman has read the work of O. Henry and has absolutely been influenced by it. I’m going to give the gist of the story below, but you really ought to familiarize yourself with the full work if for no other reason than to add to the angst I’m about to deliver.

So: “The Gift of the Magi” is the story of Della and Jim, a young couple who each sacrifice their most valued possessions to buy the other a Christmas gift that they deem worthy of the one that they love. Jim sells his gold pocket watch—a family heirloom that had belonged to his grandfather—to buy jeweled combs for Della’s beautiful long hair. Meanwhile, Della sells her hair to buy a platinum watch chain so that Jim need not be embarrassed by the cheap leather thong he’d been using when taking out his watch to check the time. In the end, both have sacrificed something priceless to give each other gifts that a neither can use. It’s a touching story, really, but also quite obviously tragic. Della and Jim both acted rashly, but also out of love, and in the end, it is that love that they treasure the most.

By now you’ve probably noticed something, but if not, let me draw for you the connections.

Jim arrives naked on Aziraphale’s doorstep. If there’s one thing we know about Gabriel, it’s that he's really fond of his suits. He not only mentions it in his chat with Aziraphale in the sushi restaurant in S1 and in the file that Crowley watches in Heaven in S2 but also visits his tailor in a scene that was in the script for S1 but never filmed. And why has Jim shown up on Aziraphale’s doorstep? Why, he’s trying to get to Beelzebub, of course. And what does Jim have of Beelzebub's? A fly in which to keep his memories. Like his namesake in “Gift of the Magi,” Jim gave up his most valued possession (quite possibly his only possession) to be with Beelzebub. And like Della, Beelzebub gave up a part of themself (one of their flies) to be with Gabriel.

And Aziraphale noticed it.

Now, if I’d spent four years waiting for the other shoe to drop after thwarting a major agenda of both my employer and their most significant corporate rival, the arrival of my old boss naked on my doorstep would absolutely set off alarm bells in my head. It clearly did for Crowley, and I’ve no doubt it did for Aziraphale. He didn’t have all the pieces yet and he couldn’t have known that Gabriel made a sacrifice out of love, but Aziraphale knew that the other shoe was about about drop and that a sacrifice of some sort was coming.

And to be clear, I’m not saying that in the moment when he landed on the name “Jim” it had any connection at all to the O. Henry story, because it could not have and didn’t—not to Aziraphale, anyway (as for a certain author by the name of Neil…well, we’ll probably never know)—but once all the pieces started falling into place, Aziraphale would almost certainly have noticed the parallels.

So then came his chin-wag with The Metatron, and the decisions he made during or immediately after. And once again we have parallels, and must wonder if the O. Henry story perhaps inspired them.

Because whether you believe our favorite anxious angel made the sacrifice to protect Crowley from a vague but definite threat or to buy Crowley back his angelic status, the reality is that Aziraphale gave up his most valued possession for Crowley. It was foolish, it was rash, and it was done out of love, but it was absolutely done for Crowley—because no matter how much Aziraphale wants to change Heaven, he doesn’t love Heaven enough to give up his bookshop. And how do we know this? Because in that same not-filmed scene where Gabriel visits his tailor, Gabriel and Sandalphon try to promote Aziraphale back to Heaven, and he doesn't want to go. He's only just purchased his bookshop, you see, and the grand opening is that afternoon.

So the question is, if Aziraphale is Jim in this scenario, and the bookshop is his pocket watch, what part of himself will Crowley, as Della (and coincidentally, the only one of the duo to have been shown with long hair) sacrifice for love of Aziraphale? Maybe his cynicism?

[self-loathing-angel-of-thursday2]

Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 13x16 Scoobynatural

“What the fuck is going on?” laughter

Laughter “oh what” laughter

Laughter “she’s delicate? I”d be more worried about the car and getting the tv home” “what the hell?” “well because it’s gonna” laughter

“They could have kept making supernatural cartoons. I’d watch it. They did that with Trailer Park Boys. Totally different genre but ya know” “I could watch Jensen cartoon characters all day long. Hell yeah” laughter

“Pretty good” “who’s Marmaduke?” “That cartoon food looks really good.” It does

“Down the hatch” “Hell yeah brother” laughter “too good” “I think you appreciate these the 2nd time around”

The first time around you were like “what the fuck” “SUPER gas” “That’s what you get after you eat there” “They gave Sam a lot of forehead wrinkles. It’s funny” “They’re really leaning into the colonel jokes” “I never really watched Scooby Doo. Did you” yeah

It’s funny because Velma came out as a lesbian

“Little darker than normal Scooby Doo, eh?” laughter

“When’s that bear going to wake up?” “zoinks” laughter “what” “hopefully the fruit is still ok” “at least Cas didn’t wait by the phone this time” “South Dakota” “really? Why now?” “For once they agree to stay together” laughter “what” “uh huh”

Classic Scooby Doo bit

“really?” “really Dean?”

“Ow” “Wouldn’t that completely fuck the dog’s spine?” laughter

Laughter “We’re doomed!”

“A Scooby Don’t?” “They blurbed it out? I want the unedited version” “Do they always do this Rue Goldberg shit?” yeah “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a full episode of Scooby Doo. This is probably the most I’ve ever watched” “Can’t the ghost float?” It’s a cartoon dude “Holy oil? Oh salt circle” “How did it get in the TV?” “Is the guy a shifter?” “Is Cas going to put Shaggy’s arm back?” “what a cock” laughter “what the hell man” “I really don’t like mixing cartoons with real life, but I’ll take it since it’s this show” “Who are the Cartwright Twins?” So There’s a joke about that

“We can’t just find the pocket knife

“Could have tried to disassemble the TV, but that’s not how we do things” laughter

“They’re not going to be able to melt the blade so they’re just burning the plastic off” “So if you’re possessing a steel object, does fire need to touch it? Or does it need to melt? Like what happens?” “what the hell? Why?” “This is a thin ending” It’s a Scooby ending. It’s always the real estate magnate

Laughter “what a fkn nerd”

[catierambles]

Public Relations Ch.10

Pairing: Clark Kent/Superman x Charlotte Danvers (OFC)

WC 835 (it's shorter, but it sets some things up that're going to happen down the road)

Warnings: None

@kingliam2019 , @greensleeves888 , @peaches1958 , @brattymum96 , @ouroboros113 , @summersong69 what is that? 3 in one day? I wonder how long I can keep this up

1965 Shelby Cobra the header image is what the one mentioned looks like

Clark’s birthday arrived, but he hadn’t heard from her. Hadn’t even seen her the last couple days as she suddenly got busy with work. His good morning text was answered a couple hours after the fact and he admitted to being a little hurt. Maybe she just forgot? She has been really busy lately. It was around lunch when his phone pinged and he picked it up, seeing the text from her.

Come outside.

Charlie?

Come outside.

Odd, but okay. Getting up from his desk, he went over the elevators and rode them down to the ground floor, heading out of the building and instantly seeing her there out front, leaning against the Shelby that gleamed under the early summer sun.

“Charlie?” He asked as he stopped in front of her, “Why do you have the Shelby here?” She just reached into her pocket and pulled out the keys, handing them out to him. “Bit of an impromptu drive, don’t you think?”

“That’s not what this is.” Charlotte said and he looked at her in confusion for a moment before he got it.

“No.” He said and she nodded, smiling at him. “I can’t possibly…”

“Yes, you can.”

“Charlie, this is…I can’t…”

“Clark, you love the Shelby.” She said, “You still have to sign the title transfer paperwork, but happy birthday.”

“This is too much, I can’t accept this.” He said and she grabbed his hand, putting the keys in his palm and closing his fingers around them.

“Yes, you can.” She said and he pulled her into his arms, picking her up off her feet and holding her tightly, her arms wrapping around his neck. “Happy birthday, baby.”

“Thank you.” He said, burying his face in her neck. “This is…this is incredible. Thank you so much.” He put her down on her feet and pulled away to look at her.

“You can keep it at my house if you don’t feel comfortable keeping it parked on the streets of Metropolis, but it’s yours sweetheart.”

“Now that…” They looked over, seeing Lois, Jimmy, and a couple other people come out of the Planet. “Is a car.” It was Jimmy who spoke.

“My birthday present to Clark.” Charlotte said, “1965 Shelby Cobra. From my collection.”

“God damn, I want to be your friend.” He said and Charlotte snorted.

“I don’t give rare classic cars to just friends, Jimmy.” She said and there was a moment of silence.

“Holy shit, Clark.” He said and Charlotte snorted, pressing her hands against Clark’s chest and making him look at her as her hands slid up and into his hair as she pulled him down into a kiss that he very eagerly returned, his arms tightening around her waist. She pulled away after a little bit, giving him an apologetic smile even as her fingertips moved through the hair at the back of his head.

“I have to go.” She said, “I’ve been away too long as it is.”

“Busy day?” He asked and she nodded with a sound.

“I would have given you the car tonight after dinner, but I have a late meeting at LexCorp that I have to go to and this was the only free moment to breathe that I had today.”

“What does LexCorp want?” Clark asked.

“I don’t know.” She said honestly, “Lex Luthor and I avoid each other for the most part, but he asked for a personal meeting and it would be bad form and press to turn him down.” Charlotte said, “But I will text you when I get home and if you want to come over, you can.”

“Okay.” He said with a nod, but he still didn’t feel right about the fact that she had a meeting with Lex Luthor.

“Or, you can let yourself in and pamper yourself until I get home. Your choice.”

“I might do that, honestly.” He admitted, “I’ve been meaning to try out that whirlpool tub you have.”

“Knock yourself out.” She said and rose quickly on her toes, pressing a brief kiss to his lips. “But now I really have to go.”

“I’ll pull the car into the garage around the back and drive it over to your place tonight.” Clark said and she nodded. “Thank you, again. Want me to drive you back to the Tower?”

“You just want an excuse to drive it right now, don’t you.”

“Yes.” He said and she snorted.

“Yeah, I’ll take the lift back.” She said and he looked to the others who had been watching the interaction.

“Let Perry know I’ll be right back.” Clark said, “And if you want to tell him other things too, you can.” They pulled away from each other, Clark moving around the car to the driver's seat as Charlotte got into the passenger's seat. The engine turned over with a roar and he dropped his forehead to the steering wheel briefly, making her smile, before he pulled away from the curb and drove down the street towards Danvers Tower.

[victorluvsalice]

Happy Smiler Creation Day!

The first date on my Valice(r) Calendar, the date that I first created a version of Smiler Always in Sims 4, and thus the general look for my OC Smiler Alton and all their various variants across the multiverse! Coincidentally, I’ve actually been doing some testing with Smilers in a couple of different “test saves” in the game recently, figuring out the best way to get a human Smiler Sim in case I want a version who isn’t a vampire for some reason, and making up some new outfits for them just for funsies. So I figured, might as well share all that with you today! :)

First up, the result of me putting Smiler into a save and then downloading a room from the Gallery which had the vampire cure drink in it, putting it on their lot, and having them drink it. What happened was, because their yellow eyes are a vampire-only feature in-game, even though I was using them on their “regular” form, they went away after they were cured. I decided I might as well take the opportunity to decide on their natural eye color, and this was the shade of green that spoke to me.

. . .if you think Smiler looks weird with a natural eye color, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. XD I dunno what it is, but it’s just -- OFF.

For reference, here’s a shot of a regular Smiler -- I think the difference is mainly that the yellow eyes I picked glow, so the sudden lack of extra shadows around them throws me. Fortunately, in a second “test save” (in which I just went ahead and created a full Valicer set for my library), I discovered that using MC Command Center to turn them human keeps their yellow eyes, so that’s almost certainly the method I’ll use for all future Smiler humanizings.

Onto the outfits! Here’s one I made for my “naturally cured” Smiler while looking for an outfit that might fit them for that Blades in the Dark-inspired AU I keep poking at (really need to do a proper post on that). I’m not QUITE sure it’s right yet, but I like that vest and its purple pocket square for Smiler!

Here’s a “classic” Smiler look that ended up getting deleted/overwritten in my Chill Save (I believe the “Smiler hoodie” outfit is now in its slot), so I wasn’t sure if you guys had seen it or not! Naturally, I tend to favor yellow with Smiler’s clothes, and I like the video game feel of this one, since it went well with The Smiler being so tech-themed.

I stumbled across this sweater/sweatshirt thing while doing outfits for my MC Command Center Cured Smiler and immediately liked it -- can’t go wrong with yellow and black! As this was just a “hanging around the house being comfy” look, I paired it with the purple pajama pants and some yellow slippers. :p

Another yellow-and-black sweater that I liked while poking around the various outfit categories, and some very wild pants that I thought they’d enjoy. Part of the fun of dressing Smiler is knowing they don’t particularly care about getting too matchy. XD Though I don’t think this particular combo is too horrible.

I found this shiny formal outfit and HAD to get it for them. XD I just like the dramatic contrast between the shimmery yellow jacket and the pitch-black pants. XD Gave Smiler some dramatic eye makeup to go with it too!

Some Vampires clothes that make for another good formal outfit -- I really like that purple vest (and hey, I just noticed it has a yellow tie!), and the pants with the faded yellow pattern are great. :D And still got the dramatic eye makeup going with it!

Probably Smiler’s most “normal” outfit, this was out of a desire to use those purple PJ pants for actual PJs and actually go with a solid purple theme for once instead of mixing it with yellow. I like it a lot. . .which makes sense because these actually look a lot like some of my OWN pajamas. XD

The return of the yellow vest, this time paired with yellow pants and brownish-yellow sneakers! The idea was that this was for a party that wasn’t exactly FORMAL but also wasn’t full casual. Think the pants are a bit muddy in the color, but it’ll do.

Again, a shiny formal outfit in yellow with a black shirt was a must-get. XD Smiler will sparkle at any given opportunity, thank you. Paired with a nice top hat and some black -- sneakers? Obviously they haven’t full committed to formal with this one. XD

A Smiler to illustrate my Christmas headcanon about them loving ugly sweaters and Christmas tat! I actually had my choice of ugly sweaters between the free “holiday” pack and Seasons, but I ended up going with this freezer-bunny-themed one because it was the right color scheme. XD Pair with a different set of PJ pants, slippers, and a knit Rudolph hat, and Smiler is ready to celebrate the season!

And finally, a quick shot from my Chill Save Smiler themselves, because I don’t think I’ve ever shown you their main formal outfit. Yes, full tux and tails just because that one had the yellow. XD And white and gold shoes, because who wants to match their shoes to their pants? :P

So yes, that is the Smiler Look Book for the day. XD Hope you enjoyed! Happy Creation Day, buddy!

[crazyblondelife]

Brand Crush - Sea Clothing + This & That

Happy Friday from Germany! Baldy and i have been visiting our daughter and her sweet little family, including Sarah’s husband, Will and our adorable grandson Bristol! Bristol turned two in January and is such an amazing little boy! He has personality for days and we’ve been entertained by him the whole time! We hadn’t seen them since December so we’ve been savoring every second of our time! Thankfully, at the end of this month, they’re moving back to the states and will only be three hours away from us, so we’ll get to see them much more often and spend holidays with them!

We’re in Vliseck Germany right now, but headed to Prague tomorrow for a short sightseeing trip and I couldn’t be more excited!

Today’s post is a jumble of different things that I’m loving right now from my new brand crush to my favorite hair oil and more! I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m making some real lifestyle changes and choices. My focus is on purchasing more environmentally friendly clothing and more local products, including food from local farms. Our choices in life, the way we spend our money say a lot about who we are and it also speaks to what we want to bring forward and manifest.

The environmental impacts of the fashion industry, agriculture and most everything we purchase can be lessened when we choose companies who are doing their part to care for Mother Earth. It’s so much easier these days to shop at local farmer’s markets for everything from in season veggies to meats to honey and so much more. I’m sure you’ve noticed my post about our local potters - Haand Ceramics! I’ve absolutely loved getting to know them and it’s been so much fun to style my food in their fabulous dishes!

When it comes to shopping for clothes and shoes…it’s easier than it was, even several years ago to buy clothing that’s ethically produced and more environmentally friendly! Does this mean that I’ll never shop at Zara or Target and that I won’t pull into Starbucks every now and then…probably not, but I am trying to be more conscious of my purchases and choose wisely.

Let’s start with my new to me brand crush - Sea Clothing! I’ve known about this company for several years but this beautiful embroidered dress is my first purchase! I saw it and immediately thought it would be so perfect for late afternoons at the beach! I love to put on something comfortable but still cute after a day at the beach and sit on the porch (of course with an afternoon cocktail). This dress is made from organic cotton and couldn’t be any more perfect for those on the porch beach afternoons and it would also take me straight to dinner! When I tried it on and realized it had pockets, I was sold…pockets totally change the game for me! I’ve already worn it several times and it really dresses up with the sky high Stella McCartney espadrilles I’m wearing! I would, of course be barefoot on the porch at the beach!

And a little about Sea…

“Sea is born out of the friendship between childhood friends Sean Monahan and Monica Paolini.  Together, they share a vision that is distinctively Sea—combining Monica’s eye for vintage-feeling pieces and Sean’s leaning towards more modern, clean styles.  Their considered perspective forms an aesthetic that is quietly inviting and elegantly balanced. Classic silhouettes with a distinctive use of lace, embroidery, knits and technical fabrics result in collections that are at once both effortless and optimistic, romantic and boyish.  Each season, the duo continues to refine and reinvent their own language, developing a cherished connection with their global, modern customer who relies on the brand for their day-to-day wardrobe. They stay focused on the world of Sea, exploring, evolving and building the brand.”

And…here are a few more random summer “essentials” - in no particular order!

I have to leave you with at least one recipe! This one for Pesto Pasta Primavera from Camille Styles is next up on my list of easy weeknight dinners! It’s sounds so seasonal and fresh and I can’t wait to make it!

Last up…Baldy and I are so exited to watch the new season of Queer Eye! It’s been one of our favorites for so long! It’s heartwarming and such a positive show in a world that is desperately in need of positivity!

[imagine-a-life-like-this]

Definitely Not Dating (H.HJ)

Warnings : none i can think of?

Word Count : 1622

Synopsis : all their friends tease them about dating due to how close they were, but they were just friends. or were they?

“Your boyfriend’s here.” My roommate and best friend, Felix, teased after answering the door. Hyunjin was close behind him, chuckling at the joke all our friends made about us.

           “Still not dating.” I countered as I stood up from the couch, grabbing my purse. “Where to today?” My words were now directed at Hyunjin who was standing in the doorway, his hands shoved in his pockets.

           “I figured we’d go see that play you’re always talking about. There’s a showing downtown tonight.” My eyes lit up when he said that. “I already bought the tickets.” He added with a chuckle.

           “Have I ever told you I love you, Hwang Hyunjin?” I asked with a smile, linking my arm with his as we made our way outside and to his car.

           “Only everyday.” He countered with a smirk.

           “Never mind, I hate you. Ugly.” I unlinked our arms as he opened the door for me, as he always would. As I got in and buckled my seatbelt, I could see Felix in the window, watching us with a teasing grin on his face. I knew exactly what he was thinking, so I flipped him off just as Hyunjin got into the driver’s seat. He looked forward just in time to see Felix return the gesture while sticking his tongue out.

           “You two have an odd friendship.” He chuckled as he did up his seatbelt. My phone automatically connected to his car as he usually let me play whatever I wanted to listen to. Our friends would always mention how cute that fact was. Maybe if you had better taste in music, he’d let you play your playlists. I’d always retort, hoping the growing feelings weren’t as obvious as our friends insisted they were.

           The next day, I sat at a table in the library with a couple of friends, working on the homework given out that day. My phone, that sat on the table, seemed to vibrate with a text message every few seconds. “Should probably see what they want. It’s probably your boyfriend.” Jeongin teased, nudging me with his shoulder. I rolled my eyes, once again saying that Hyunjin and I weren’t dating.

           “It’s probably Felix asking me to pick up something on my way home. Hyunjin said he was going to the dance studio today.” Hyunjin always threw himself into his dances, barely looking at his phone unless it was to pick a song or pause the music. There was absolutely no way he would be texting me right now. But when I picked it up, I was shocked to see it was him.

 We should get dinner tonight.

That restaurant you like has an opening tonight. I’ll make the reservations.

We could go stargazing after.

Why aren’t you answering me?

Oh right, you’re studying with Jeongin and Seungmin. Tell them I said hi!

Let me know when you’re done, I’ll pick you up : )

           I couldn’t help but smile at the messages, my stomach doing flips as I thought about how this would be a cute date, if it was a date. Dinner and stargazing. “So, what does Felix want?” The teasing tone coming from Seungmin’s lips told me he knew it wasn’t Felix.

           “Hyunjin says hi.” I answered, watching as their faces contorted into teasing grins.

           “And?” Jeongin prodded, nudging me with his shoulder again.

           “And that he’s making reservations at a restaurant before taking me stargazing.” I mumbled under my breath, hoping they wouldn’t hear me. They did.

           Hyunjin stayed true to his word and was outside the library doors when Jeongin, Seungmin, and I exited. His long blond hair tied up in that half pony he always did, his bangs falling across his face. I never was one for long, dyed hair before, preferring men with shorter, dark hair. But Hyunjin pulled off the long blond look so well it was hard not to be drawn to him. “Have fun on your date!” Jeongin teased as the two of them took off in the opposite direction of Hyunjin and I.

           “Do you think our friends will ever believe we’re just friends?” Hyunjin joked as he slid his hand in mine, lacing our fingers together. I giggled to myself, knowing that if I was an outsider looking in, I would think exactly the way they do. But this is how our friendship has been since high school. We’ve always been touchy with each other, cuddling and holding hands.

           “Once we’re married to other people.” I joked, trying not to let the hurt I felt at the very thought of him falling in love with someone else evident in my voice.

           We sat across from each other at my favourite restaurant, browsing the menu in silence. Soft chatter from the other patrons, and the soft classical music they played filling the comfortable silence between us. If I’m honest, I’ve only been here one other time. My previous birthday, Hyunjin brought me here. It was the first time we’d been somewhere so fancy, and we were quite underdressed, not knowing the dress code for the restaurant. We laughed about how badly we stuck out among the other patrons, but neither one of us cared. That memory alone made it my favourite place.

           Hyunjin held my hand from across the table as we ate, catching each other up on our day as if we hadn’t seen each other in ages, even though I saw him yesterday. We rarely went a day without seeing each other, almost as if we had a need to be by each other’s side whenever possible.

           We laid beside each other on the blanket Hyunjin brought, staring up at the night sky sparkling with stars. Soft music played from his phone that was laying in between us. He quietly sung along to the songs, and my heart swelled with joy. I absolutely loved listening to him sing, even though he hates singing in front of people. I’m sure I’m the only person that’s ever heard him, and honestly that should be a crime. His voice was my favourite in the entire world, but maybe I’m biased because I love him.

           “We’re friends, right?” I asked, silencing his singing, and bringing his attention from the stars to me. I turned my head to face him, our eyes meeting.

           “Of course.” He replied almost immediately.

           “But are we just friends?” The question hung in the air longer than the first one, but neither one of us moved, our eyes still locked. The weight of his hand in mind suddenly clearer than it’s ever been before.

           “What do you mean?” It was as if the words he meant to say were caught in his throat. I could hear it in the way his voice cracked when he answered.

           “Our friends always tease us about dating.” I pointed out.

           “That’s what friends do.” He smiled, his thumb now running over my knuckles. My skin burned from his touch, but I loved the feeling.

           “We’re always holding hands and cuddling.”

           “We’re touchy people.” He shrugged. I didn’t bring up the many times he told our other friends that he didn’t like skin ship. He wasn’t much of a hugger unless it was me. But I didn’t bring that up.

           “What about all the fancy dinners? The plays? Movies? Stargazing?” I gestured to what we were doing right now with my free hand, refusing to pull my hand away from his, loving the feeling of his hand in mine. I always have.

           “I like spoiling you.” Silence fell upon us again as I tried to think of what else to say. So many more things to point out, but I’m sure he had an explanation for it all. The drawers of my stuff at his place, and the drawer of his stuff at my place. The loving captions on pictures we posted of each other. The heart-shaped necklace he gave me one day, our initials engraved on the back of it. He’d have an explanation for it all, that I’m sure of. But there’s one thing he couldn’t explain away.

           “I’m in love with you.” The words rolled off my tongue before I could stop them, as if they were meant to be said in that moment. He could explain all the cute moments and thoughtful gifts, saying it’s just the way our friendship is. That’s just how close we were. But the love I have for him isn’t platonic.

           My confession hung in the air like a neon sign, and the confidence I once had began to fade. But before I could take it back, his lips were on mine. The same lips I’ve been dreaming about kissing for years, were now pressed against mine in the sweetest kiss I’ve ever experienced. It was a kiss filled with love and passion. A kiss that couldn’t be explained in a platonic way. “We aren’t just friends.” He whispered after pulling away. “I don’t think we ever were.”

           He kissed me again when dropping me off at home that night, whispering a quick I love you before I walked into the house I shared with Felix. “How was your date?” Felix teased when he saw I was home.

           “Perfect.” I smiled, watching as his eyes widened at the fact I didn’t bant with him.

           “You’re not denying that this was a date?” He questioned, fully emerging from the kitchen, where he was most likely baking brownies.

           “Why would I?” I kicked my shoes off and placed my purse on the coffee table before sitting on the couch, still on cloud nine.

           “Because you always do? You and Hyunjin are just friends.” I smiled and shook my head.

           “Hyunjin and I are definitely dating.”

[forever-rogue]

Oblivious

A/N | This is just a little sweet fluff with Buckaroo. It’s also a late little happy birthday for @falcor-thee-luck-dragon! I hope you (and everyone else) enjoys!

Summary | You’d think Bucky wouldn’t be so oblivious but...he was. 

Pairing | Bucky x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 3.9k

Warnings | language

Masterlists | Bucky, Main

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

James Buchanan Barnes aka Bucky Barnes was a man of many talents and had a vast knowledge of a variety of things. Sometimes, however, things were so obvious and clear that they went right over his head. You could hit him in the face with a 2x4 and he wouldn’t know what happened oblivious. Like the fact that you, his girlfriend of almost a year, had the strange and peculiar ability to communicate with animals. You’d never hid it, nor explicitly told him about it, thinking it would be funny to see how long it would take him to catch on. 330 days (and counting) in and he hadn’t.

Bucky grabbed his phone, scrolling through his social media feeds quickly before pulling up Spotify and turning to his secret indulgence playlist - classical Italian Opera. Yeah. It was just a thing he had happened to really like for no particular reason. The only other living souls in his apartment with him were Archie, your black and white speckled mutt and Alpine, Bucky’s snow white cat. You were currently out of town for work and had asked Bucky if he minded watching Archie, to which he had of course said yes. It was no secret that Archie loved Bucky almost as much as you and vice versa - he was the goodest boy as Bucky had proclaimed. Plus, the cat and dog got along like they were old best friends. 

Trailing into the bathroom, he stripped off his t-shirt and pajama pants as Archie laid on the bed and offered him a dismissal look. Alpine was tucked into his side as she slept soundly, paying no attention to her owner. 

As he turned on the shower and let the water warm up, he finished stripping off his clothes before deciding to sing along with his music as best as he could. Bucky didn’t speak Italian. It showed. But he was passionate about giving it all as he got ready to take on the day. Archie groaned as Bucky hit a particularly high note, burying his face under the soft duvet. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“You ever gonna ask her the question?” Sam raised an eyebrow at Bucky as the two men walked alongside the creek. Bucky had decided that ice cream and a walk for Archie were called for, so he’d taken advantage of the nice weather and gone outside. Missing your company, despite you only having been gone for a few days, he’d called up Sam and convinced him to meet up. Not that it took much convincing; the men were as thick as thieves, no matter how much they denied it. Co-workers, partners - best friends. 

“Umm,” Bucky’s eyes widened as he almost choked on his ice cream, awkwardly coughing to cover up his nerves. Sam just snickered in response as he realized he already had his answer. After a moment he slowly nodded, “I have the ring...it’s been sitting in the sock drawer.”

“Sock drawer,” Sam snorted and shook his head as a flush of red colored Bucky’s neck and ears, “classic. When are you going to do it?”

“I don’t know,” Bucky sighed as he broke off a piece of waffle cone and handed it to Archie, who had been listening in very intently, “I want to...but what if it’s too soon. We technically don’t even live together yet-”

“Doesn’t she like to spend her time at yours? She’s practically moved in...most of the stuff at your place is hers anyway,” Sam reminded him as Bucky made a small, noncommittal sound. It was true - when you’d first met Bucky his place had been minimal and bare. Now, with your time and touch, it felt like a home; a home you had lovingly built with him. Sam bumped Bucky’s shoulder with his, “just get it all done in one swoop. She’ll say yes.”

Archie made a small sound, agreeing with Sam as he rubbed his snout against Bucky’s thigh. He visibly relaxed as he nodded, hoping that this would be enough to psych him up, “I’ll think about it-”

“No thinking about it,” Sam tutted gently, “you’re going to do it. You’ve been a fool - a straight up head over heels in love fool - since you’ve met her. You’re going to ask.”

“Sam…”

“How long have you had the ring?”

“Sam.”

“Bucky.”

“A few weeks after we started dating,” Bucky cast his glance at the ground as warmth flushed up in his cheeks. He’d expected Sam to burst out in laughter, but luckily the other man said nothing, but a smile stretched across his features, “it seems so silly but you know..I just felt like I knew.”

“Sometimes you do,” Sam agreed, putting his arm around his shoulder and pulling him for a quick hug, “you just gotta do it, Buck. She won’t say no.”

Archie barked in response, looking between the two men, wagging his tail excitedly. Sam offered him a few pets before nodding in response.

“She comes home in a few days,” he couldn’t wait to pick you up from the airport and have you jump into his arms while he finally got to hold you again, “I’ve got until then to pluck up the courage.”

“Just don’t lay it on her right away…” Sam snorted as he picked Bucky running up to you immediately pouring his heart out to you. Not a good idea, “give her a moment to be calm and breath.”

“Shut up,” Bucky huffed as he finished the rest of his ice cream, “I’ve got this!”

“We’re all counting on that!”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Bucky set the empty popcorn bowl back on the coffee table as he tried not to sniffle too loudly. His eyes were misty and burning with unshed tears as he watched whatever cheesy romance he had randomly selected. He pulled the soft blanket he was curled up in higher, savoring the fact that it still managed to have a faint bit of your smell on it. Alpine was curled up on the back of the couch, snoozing away while Archie was laying next to him, his head resting on Bucky’s thigh. He was on and off sleeping, but had peeped open an eye when he first heard Bucky sniffle. 

“They’re in love,” he whispered gently, unsure if he was speaking to himself or talking to his furry companions. He was scratching Archie’s ears as he watched the scenes play out on the screen, “but they can’t be together. Their families would never allow it.”

Archie huffed lightly as he burrowed further into Bucky’s touch. It was the first time he’d seen the man get so emotional over the movie. Bucky had feelings, plenty of them, of course, but there was something about the movie he’d picked, combined with how much he was missing you that caused him to just lose it. It was like the dam had burst and his emotions were out of control.

He sat back and watched the rest of the movie in silence, a few tears running down his cheeks as he watched the love story play out. By the end of the movie, Archie was fully in his lap and Alpine was resting on his chest, “he left everything behind for her, so they could start a new life together far away. They really were next to meant to be together. It’s beautiful.”

The furry little ones were absolutely  going to tell you about this. 

���── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Archie yawned and slowly stretched before hopping down from the couch and heading towards Bucky’s bedroom. He tried to nose the door open as he learned to do, but was stopped when he found that it was closed all the way. His head tilted in curiosity and whined softly as he tried to see if Bucky was awake so he would let him in. 

As soon as he did, the dog regretted it. All he could hear coming from inside was the soft sounds coming from Bucky. Soft moans and sounds and gentle whispers of your name. His eyes widened as the dog took off down the hall and ran back into the living room, flopping down on his dog bed and cuddling up to Alpine as he tried to empty his mind. All the poor dog had wanted to do was to sleep in the big soft bed - not be scarred for life. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Bucky!” as soon as you’d gotten cleared and walked through arrivals and gotten your single bag, you’d kept your eyes peeled for Bucky. It didn’t take long to find him, standing near the back, blue eyes scanning the arrivals with a hopeful little smile on his face. You almost dropped your bag as you ran over to him. As soon as you were in arm’s reach, you dropped everything to the ground, and Bucky effortlessly scooped you up in his arms. You threw your arms around his neck as he held you in a tight embrace, “James. I’ve missed you so much.”

“I missed you too,” he sighed in content, happy to have you in his arms once again. Everything about you set his soul on fire, as he held onto you as tightly as possible. After a moment, he slowly set you back down, but not before peppering your face in gentle kisses, “you’re so beautiful.”

“Bucky,” you reached up and gently touched his cheek, “you’re too much. I’m so glad to be home.”

“Not quite yet.”

“Sure I am,” you insisted quietly, “I’m here with you. You’re my home, Bucky.”

The small velvet box was practically burning a hole in his pocket as you looked at him like he was everything - your whole world (he was). Unable to form a proper sentence, he  grabbed your face and pulled you close to him, crashing his lips onto yours, kissing you like you weren’t in the middle of a crowded airport. He could feel you smiling against his lips, reluctantly breaking apart from you only once you were both breathless. 

“What was that for?” you asked shyly, feeling your face flush with warmth as he picked up your bags for you. You were watching him with pure adoration as he reached for your hand and laced your fingers together. 

“Nothing,” he shrugged softly, “jus’ missed you is all, pretty girl.”

“I missed you too, Bucky,” you promised, “I love you.”

“I love you more than all the moon and stars, pretty girl.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“What?” you asked as Archie came into the kitchen and sat down, watching you intently as you finished up the cookies you had been working. Bucky was busy with Sam that afternoon, so you’d decided to make a little sweet treat for both of you. You’d been home for a few days and fallen into an easy routine, having opted to stay with Bucky for the time being rather than going back to your own place, “you’ve got something to say, I can tell.”

Just missed you. I like when you’re home, you and Bucky. And Alpine. 

“I missed you too, buddy,” you promised, leaning over to his head a gentle pet, “did you have fun while I was gone?”

Yes. Bucky takes good care of me. I like Alpine too. She’s nice.

“I happen to like them a lot too,” you grinned at your friend, “I’m glad you do too. I think...I really love him, Archie. I think, no, I know - he’s the one.”

He thinks so too. He told Sam you’re the one - and us too. 

“Really?” you almost dropped the cookies you were plating up in surprise as you bit the inside of your cheek to keep from squealing in excitement, “you’re not messing with me, are you?”

It’s true. He’s got...well, you’ll see. He likes romance movies apparently. And singing opera.

“Oh?”

He was watching a movie. He ate two bowls of popcorn and cried. He let me and Alpine sit on him though so it was okay. He sings opera when he showers in the morning. He’s not good but he tries.

“Archie! Don’t be a meanie,” you chuckled as you tried to picture the scene. It would have been hilarious to see. You’d always known Bucky had a soft side, you just didn’t know how soft, “but I will remember that and use it to my advantage when I want to watch a cheesy movie.”

Please do. He gives good pets when he’s in that mood. He always gives good pets.

“He’s a good man,” you grinned as you reached over the counter for a good treat that you easily tossed to him, “I really love him.”

He really loves you. One night I...never mind.

“No, no,” you shook your head as you waggled another treat at him, “out with it! Or I’ll hide all of your treats!”

Fine. But you didn’t hear it from me - I wanted to sleep in the big bed one night and the door was closed and I heard him. He was...saying your name.

Your brows narrowed in confusion for a moment as you pulled another treat out and twirled it in your fingers for a moment. Then you hit you, what he had meant, “oh. Oh. That is...good to know, I suppose.”

Not for me. I just wanted to sleep, not...hear that.

“Sorry buddy,” you snorted as you handed him another treat, “that will stay between us. Besides...he still doesn’t know we can communicate. I wonder if he’ll ever put two and two together?”

You could just tell him.

“But where’s the fun in that?” you teased as the door opened and Bucky walked in, a giant grin on his face. You looked at Archie and shot him a wink before turning to Bucky, “hello, my love. You’re just in time! Cookies are done and cooled!”

“Oh, my sweet girl,” Bucky came over and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips before petting Archie, “I love you. Is someone here? I could have sworn you were talking to someone…”

“Nope,” you (half) lied, covering up with a brilliant smile, “just me and the dog and cat.”

“Oh,” he shrugged, thinking it was just his imagination, “what’s all this? Cookies -  whatever for?”

“Just because I love you,” you grinned as Archie groaned and laid down, “both of you!”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You stopped for a moment to catch your breath as you reached one of the peaks of the small mountain you and Bucky were hiking. It was a glorious day so you’d decided there was no better plan than to get out and enjoy nature. He had no problem at any point, even offering to piggy back you when you’d grown tired; you’d just defiantly stuck your tongue out at the super soldier and carried on. 

“This view is absolutely breathtaking,” you looked over the small cliff, admiring the tranquil expanse of the woods in front of you. Bucky was at your side, his eyes on you the entire time.

“Yeah,” he agreed with a grin, “it’s pretty amazin’.”

“Bucky,” you turned around and rolled your eyes at him as he pulled you in for a kiss, causing you to break into a fit of giggles, “I’m all gross and sweaty!”

“Don’t care,” he insisted as his hands found purchase on your waist and pulled you closer against him, his lips already ghosting over yours, “jus’ want you, baby.”

“Bucky,” his name was soft on your lips, but before anything else could happen, you were stopped by a small, almost nervous little voice from up above. 

Umm, hi! I don’t want to interrupt but…

You pulled back from Bucky for a moment before looking at the tree, where you found a small squirrel sitting on a branch and watching you both. Bucky was surprised for a moment but calmed when you gave his shoulder a squeeze and gently moved past him and towards your new friend.

“Hi,” you smiled at her and offered a smile, picking up an acorn and handing it over to her, “is everything alright?”

Oh yes. I just wanted to let you know there’s a big group of people coming. If you want some privacy you should go somewhere more secluded! They’re pretty loud, I don’t like big groups.

“Oh!” you giggled as you could only imagine the awkward scenario if you’d been caught, “thanks for the heads up! We’ll definitely get out of here. I’m sorry you have to deal with all the noise.”

It’s okay. I’m going back to my nest now! If you go down the hill, there’s a more private path that leads back down the mountain. There’s signs if you need them.

“Why thank you,” you grinned as you reached up and she let you pet her, “you’ve been very helpful. Maybe one day we’ll see each other again.“

No problem. I hope so too! Thank you for the acorn!

“Anytime,” you promised as she scurried away with her new treasure. You shook your head in amusement as you turned back around to Bucky, to find him watching you with wide eyes. He wasn’t quite sure what had just happened, almost wondering if he was hallucinating. Had you just gone mad and tried to speak to a squirrel? You laughed lightly at the shocked look on his features,  “oh.”

“What was...what was that?” he asked as you rejoined him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. His eyes were still scanning the branch the small squirrel had just occupied. 

“She was just warning us that there’s a group of hikers coming our way and we should find someplace more private,” you said as if it was no big deal. It didn’t help Bucky in the slightest.

“She? A warning...how….That was a squirrel!”

“I was wondering if you’d ever put two and two together,” you laughed, almost doubling over in laughter, “I...Bucky, I don’t know how or why but I can communicate with animals.”

“You can….how long?!”

“Ever since I’ve been a child?” you held up your hands in earnest, “its something I’ve always been able to do. I don’t advertise it, obviously because people generally think I’m crazy, but I would think you of all people understand. It’s just been...fun to wait and see if you’d ever figure it out.”

“All those times…” he ran a hand over his face in exasperation and disbelief as you watched him in amusement. He was a brilliant, smart man but sometimes he was so oblivious. You couldn’t love him anymore if you tried, “it wasn’t just...a one sided conversation. It all makes sense now. Wow, that’s amazing! What a wonderful thing to possess.”

“I’ve always liked it,” you agreed, “it’s different, you know? But special in its own way.”

“Wait…” he mused for a moment, “so all those times...oh. H-how much have Archie and Alpine told you? Have they always talked to you?”

“Yup,” you crossed your arms over your chest, as you watched his neck and ears turn red, “those two in particular are very animated and over the top. They’re the worst little gossip duo. Almost like you and Sammy.”

“Of course they are,” he groaned as you reached for his hand and pulled him towards. He gave you a sheepish grin as you pressed a light kiss to his knuckles, “they told you about the movie, huh?”

“Archie,” you confirmed, “but he did say you gave him the best pets.”

“Did he tell about...oh no,” this time his whole face was a brilliant crimson, “I-I…”

“Oh stop,” you teased, “I’m flattered and honored. It’s not like I don’t do the same when I’m not with you.”

“Really?” he perked up with pride as you just nodded in amusement, “well then. Wait - did he tell you about Sam?”

“He said you went on a walk with him but that was it,” you shrugged, “nothing really. I do know that he loves you and Alpine very much. And so do I, obviously.”

“Okay,” he relaxed slightly as you took his hand and started to lead him towards the more secluded path your little squirrel had told you about. The box in his pocket was once again burning a hole, “good.”

“Everything okay, Bub?” you asked as he just nodded, lips pursed as he fell into step behind you. Something was definitely off, but you weren’t going to push him on it. If anything, you knew he’d come around and speak his mind about what was going on. He usually always did. 

A silence, one neither tense nor uncomfortable, fell over the two of you as you walked down the quiet trail. It was beautiful - lush greenery and newly bloomed plants everywhere. At one point you stopped and pulled out your phone to take a few pictures of the natural beauty. Bucky had been so lost in his own thoughts, his heart practically pounding in his chest and consuming every part of him that he almost bowled into you and knocked you over. 

“James!” it was somewhere between a groan and laugh as he caught you in his arms in order to keep you from tumbling into a bunch of bushes. You were face to face with Bucky, looking at him intently as he steadied you,  “alright, something’s up. Come on - out with it. You know you can tell me anything.”

“I umm...marry me?” all the speeches he had gone over and planned wet out the window as he just stared at you with nervous eyes. You’d been so taken aback by his sudden question that you took a step back and gave him a curious expression. Bucky’s stomach was in absolute knots as he wondered if he’d just fucked everything up.

“W-what?” your voice was a small squeak, as you tried to see if he was just pulling your leg. But his gaze never wavered, “what did you just ask me?”

“I…” he stopped over a moment before reaching into his pocket with trembling hands and pulling out a small box. Your eyes widened in response as you realized that was not joking at all, further evidenced when he popped it open and showed you the ring inside. Your mouth dropped open when it all came together, “I thought the whole proposal would go a lot differently than this but umm...yeah. Will you marry me? That’s what I’m trying to ask...I’m glad Archie hadn’t spoiled that for you.”

“No,” you shook your head as you already felt tears pricking at your eyes, “he definitely didn’t. I thought he might have been holding something back, but I...I had no idea.”

“I know it hasn’t even been a year yet, but I feel like when you know someone 's the one..you know,” he admitted softly, “and I know you’re the one. The one I want to spend the rest of my life with, the one I want to call my wife...my everything.”

“James,” you looked between him and the ring a few more times before swallowing the lump in your throat, “gods, I am so in love with you. There was never a doubt in my mind that it was meant to be you. Yes, of course yes.”

“Really?!”

“Of course,” you beamed at him, “I love you, Bucky. You’re my forever.”

“Forever,” he breathed softly, “I like the sound of that.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

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[granolaspaceship]

How to Dress for a Basement Rave

I’m sitting in a basement rave on a leather ottoman. I got my ticket last minute because I can’t plan anything, and because the friend who bought the ticket got COVID. The air is hot. The fog machine makes the hot air sticky. Everybody in the room is dressed according to their own needs and desires. Some more so in the direction of desire, and less in the direction of being dressed at all. 

Anybody who thinks about the clothes they wear is going to try things. I can tell you I have looked like an asshole sometimes. Like a peacock. Maybe even like a clown. Most often I probably look like someone trying to figure out how to buy their first shitty boat.

In this little window between taking acid dropped on an Altoid and when my phone screen starts wobbling around, I’m going to try and describe a rubric for figuring out what to wear. For a basement rave. For whatever. Having sat sweating at the party in the piece I wanted everyone to see, and rain soaked at the train station when I bypassed my beloved Pertex jacket for a more “classic” style, I can say I’ve finally come to a focused process for getting dressed that almost never fucks me over.

The trouble here is that it can’t come from Trunk Club or from a “hottest short sleeve button downs of SS22” list. It comes from knowing your body, and the things you like to do with it. My friend Forest Eckley of Glasswing knows this process well, and due credit to him for elucidating it for me too. Glasswing is the best store on Earth for people who care where their clothes and ceramics come from who also like to go to basement raves. Tonight Forest is wearing a black linen short sleeve shirt from Jan Jan Van Essche, and wide legged, high rise pants, probably also from Jan Jan. He chose these things because they move well and won’t make him too hot if he dances all night, which he will.

There are some things that don’t make sense, right? That big cowboy hat in this basement nine hours from another northwest sunrise for example. The sun doesn’t even rise here anymore anyway. I wanted to wear a lovingly repaired wool pullover from Arpenteur to this party, because I feel most like myself in that sweater. It would have been way too hot and besides I haven’t lovingly repaired it yet.

Before acid and molly and pulsing house music wrestle the idea from my brain, I’ll tell you what I put on tonight and why. Feet up in menswear tradition.

I’m wearing Merrell Jungle Mocs that I bought from Cabela’s in 2020. I was camping with my girlfriend and when I realized I’d only brought Crocs for riding my dirtbike I stopped on the way and bought these shoes after trying to shop for a sold out AR7 next to rows of empty shelves that were stocked with ammunition a month previous, before the pandemic. I have worn them walking ten miles a day in Tokyo, on the dirtbike, and on photo sets - but never in Mexico City because although I have been there twice, both were second dates. The only thing Jungle Mocs can’t do is impress a woman (or can they?).

Inside of these perfect shoes are Rototo’s Hiker Trash socks, because I love their simple color blocking and because I have bikepacked and partied and seen a dozen airports in them and never once noticed how my feet felt. They’re a merino blend which is the appropriate material for socks regardless of season or application.

The 1” hem of my tapered, single pleat, high waisted pant is sitting exactly at the ankle opening of my sock as I sit legs outstretched smoking on an electrical box outside. The pants are from Goldwin in a Cordura stretch denim with big swooping pockets that carry my phone and wallet somehow without showing their shape against my goddamn leg. They have a built in webbing belt and an easy snap at the closure as insurance against the confusion in my near future. There’s a hidden zipper pocket inside the right hand pocket and there’s nothing in there thanks for asking. Most importantly, these look like regular jeans to most people.

I bought Lady White’s pocket t one size too large. I just took five minutes off from writing to smoke a cigarette with a woman named Zoe who sat down next to me in a blue wig and lilac trench and little else, apart from six inch platform boots. To my absolute shock, she said she liked my Jungle Mocs and told me she has some in pink. I didn’t tell her about my friend Paul Ruffles who’s revitalizing the Merrell brand, but she didn’t stay long anyway. My t shirt is in Lady White’s own medium weight jersey, which has drape and structure while I also completely forget I’m wearing it. I chose the pocket t because if there’s one with a pocket and one without it would be insane to go without. It’s white because I only wear white t shirts. It’s tucked evenly into my waistband, where the extra size allows it to raise and move if I were to try dancing, which I won’t.

All apologies to my mother if she finds this but I chose my final layer because it has two chest pockets that are each exactly perfect for a half empty orange pack of American Spirits with a brown Bic lighter tucked inside. Either pocket would do, but the left pocket as far as I know has never been opened. The right pocket with the cigarettes is engineered somehow that it doesn’t bulge and so the flap closure drapes over the top of the pocket without sticking up awkwardly as it would on a lesser shirt. I could use the concealed button to fasten it if I wasn’t reaching inside, which I am.

Someone just congratulated Zoe on her white eyeliner debut. I bought this cotton herringbone field shirt from Evan Kinori’s online store without trying it on in 2016 and it was the most expensive garment I had ever bought at the time. I didn’t need to try it on because I’m a size large and Evan Kinori makes clothes correctly. I wore this shirt on both second dates in Mexico City and walking in Tokyo and on day hikes and I’d wear it anywhere a man would need to wear a shirt. It’s almost brown now, sun faded from its original charcoal, which is great because I don’t wear grey anymore. If I have ever sweat in this shirt it doesn’t seem to notice, and most importantly nobody else does either. I have never washed it and never will. 

In the basement somewhere near the leather ottoman is my navy tote bag from Tanner Goods in a fabric called Konbu that lasts like Kevlar and wears like cotton canvas. Inside is a travel tumblr still unblessed with strangers’ wine, a bunch of rainbow carrots rubber banded together next to another bunch of bananas with my beloved pertex jacket stuffed around all of it because in Seattle in June 2022 it is still January. The tote, while beautiful, has been unnoticed or uncared for all night by anyone but me, which is why I use it.

There’s a hiking cap from Cayl jammed somewhere near the carrots. A gift from my friend Sam at Meridian in Hudson, which is the best store on Earth for Anarchists who work in fashion and who also go to basement raves. It’s a lightweight beige nylon twill, with no structure apart from a shock cord fitment at the back and subtle wire for reshaping the bill if it were to be wrested from aside the bananas. I’m not wearing the hat because it took me thirty five years to figure out how to take care of my curly hair and I’m enjoying it. The hat doesn’t exist until I need it, which is all I need from it tonight. 

Right now I Iook like I might work in a shipyard, which I have done. I am communicating with what I’m wearing in a way that is accurate to who I am. Zoe in the lilac trench was doing the same. I have to believe that’s true for the cowboy hat person too. These clothes will not stick to me no matter what the fog machine says. I hope that when people look at me, they know what kind of person they’re dealing with. I think it’s working because Zoe walked off five minutes into an orange American Spirit which is a ten minute cigarette at an enthusiastic pace, which is my pace now that I have sat on this electrical box outside the rave in front of my friend Peter’s bookstore for a half hour.

The only acceptable way I have found for getting dressed is with things that I am in love with. Not with things that withstand how I live but with things that respond to it. This is true if I’m spending a whole tenth of this month’s income for a third date to the ballet in a suit (18east)((worth it ten times over)), or if I’m at home looking at shitty boats on Craigslist in a fleece and sweat shorts (both also 18east). Since I can’t plan anything, everything I own has to work for anything I might end up doing. All my decisions about what to wear are made by deciding what to buy. By knowing myself and knowing my clothes just as well.

I know I would wear and carry all of these things through the apocalypse because that’s what I’m doing. I don’t care at all how I look because these things that I adore save me from having to think about it. My two friends are on the sofa now at home. I’m sitting, legs outstretched on the floor. The Kinori shirt looks better draped on our bench than it does on me. My t shirt is still tucked in. My pants hems graze my socks. The Jungle Mocs will be fine wherever they are.

[mrsmaybank]

Crushing - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

“Reid, stop giving JJ’s intern bedroom eyes. It fuckin’ weirds me out.”

A/N: I love baby genius, season one Reid so much. I wanted to give him a soulmate. Soulmate is you: shy and also a baby genius. Okay, thanks for reading. This was honestly just for me. 

CW: Implied Smut, Mild Cursing, shitty writing 

“Who...Who is that?” Dr. Spencer Reid, debatably the wordiest boy Derek Morgan had ever met, was suddenly at a loss for words. Maybe it was your perfectly sculpted face, your shoes, the copy of The Kreutzer Sonata held to your chest, your chest, or maybe a mix of it all.  Whatever it was, at sight of you walking through the office doors, he was stripped of his ability to speak. 

“That’s JJ’s new intern.” Morgan said plainly, before noticing the completely enamored look on his friend’s face. “What, pretty boy?” Reid couldn’t even be bothered to reply. He was too busy studying every detail of your frame. 

“You think she’s cute or something kid?” Morgan playfully jabbed his shoulder, Spencer’s face instantly flushing an embarrassing shade of red. 

“What?!” He shrieked, “I-no! That’s not..No!” That’s a lie. 

“I just..I didn’t know JJ was getting an intern.” That though, was true. 

“She’s supposed to be pretty impressive. Let’s go meet her.” he started in the direction of the coffee stand, where you and JJ had begun chatting. Before Spencer could protest out of his shyness, he was being dragged along. 

“Morgan,” JJ smiled, “Spence,” she nodded in his direction, “This is Y/N Y/L/N. My godsent savior.” JJ beamed in your direction.

You smiled more sheepishly then you would’ve liked, muttering a “Hopefully.” that got a laugh from Morgan and a “Oh, please.” from JJ, but nothing from the man in the glasses. You did your best not to read into it. 

“Derek Morgan.” the muscular agent extended his hand to shake yours, an offer you timidly but happily accepted. 

The taller, lankier, younger, incredibly cute man next to him stuffed one of his hands in his pocket and shifted uncomfortably with a small wave, “I’m uh, Doctor Spencer Reid, oh! Uh, you don’t have to, uh call me Doctor. No..” He shook his head, “Just Spencer is fine.” He looked at you with wide eyes that sent butterflies berserk in your stomach and swiped his tongue in between his lips that only made them go crazier. JJ had told you all about the team. About the magnificently brilliant Dr. Spencer Reid, his 3 PhDs and eidetic memory, and all the other quirks you’d have to know in order to work with him, but had failed to mention how utterly hot he was. You felt a crush hijacking your system already. Dear god. 

“It’s nice to meet you both.” Your hands gripped your book tighter as you shifted onto your tiptoes, “I’ve heard really exceptional things.” 

The conversation was set to continue, but Morgan and JJ were summoned by Hotch to the closed doors of his office. Leaving the resident genius and you starting at each other with tight lip smiles. 

Spencer started first, “The Kreutzer Sonata is great.” He excitedly continued, “It uh, it actually used to be a pretty bold book to carry around. After the work had been forbidden in Russia by censors, there was actually a mimeographed version that was widely circulated. Then in 1890, the United States Post Office Department prohibited the mailing of newspapers containing serialized installments of it too. Theodore Roosevelt even called Tolstoy a-” 

His enthusiasm was beyond endearing. You finished for him with a soft smile, "Sexual moral pervert.”

Spencer’s lips upturned in a smile. It was rare somebody in the office could finish his sentences. And he couldn’t help but replay the crass words being said in your soft voice. He felt a crush hijacking his system already. Dear god.  

“Most people don’t recognize it in the original Russian.”  Spencer heard you say. 

“Most people probably wouldn’t recognize it in English.” he retorted.

You laughed, “Yeah, you’re right.” 

Spencer wasn’t even kidding. “I’m not joking.” He shook his head. “It’s unfortunate how many people aren’t even vaguely familiar with Tolstoy.” 

“It is.” you agreed. “You went to Caltech, correct?” 

He smiled, “Yes.” 

“I almost did too. Decided last minute on Columbia.” 

“You went to Columbia?” he asked. 

“I just graduated.” 

“How old are you?” he asked before quickly correcting himself,  “I’m sorry! That was forward! I am not...I’m not trying to undermine your studies with your age, I promise. I’m just curious.” 

“No! It’s okay!” You got out fast. “I’m 19. I graduated high school a little bit early.” 

“Me too.” He smiled. “12, actually.” 

Your eyes went wide, “12?” 

“Yes, um, in a Las Vegas public high school.” He winced, but the self-deprecation somehow came out charming, “I uh,” His eyes narrowed, “didn’t go to a lot of parties.” 

That made you wholeheartedly laugh. “Me neither! I graduated at 15, which you know is the age everybody else starts. It created a really weird dynamic because the older kids in my grade didn’t like me, but the underclassmen my age really didn’t like me.” 

Instead of the laugh you were expecting, Spencer just gave you a pensive stare. 

“Um..I can’t see why. I think you’re very likeable.” The compliment would’ve been strange exchanged by anybody other than Spencer to you.

  “Wait till you get to know me.” You said it through a smile but so softly you were afraid he might not be able to hear it, but he did. 

And that was confirmed when he flashed you the most incredible, toothy grin you’d ever seen. “I uh, I doubt there will be any change in opinion.” 

“Well, um, I’m sure- I think! You’re very likeable as well Dr. Reid.” you said. 

“That’s what you say now.” He retorted in the same coy tone you had earlier. 

You shook your head, “You’ll find I can be insufferably stubborn.” 

-----------------------------------

After two weeks, there was little Spencer could do to hide his massive crush affinity for you from the team. 

In the bullpen: 

You guys had locked eyes and were mouthing out exchanged of No’s and Yes’s from across the room. There was an ongoing half-serious dispute about whether or not Xanthippe slept with Plato. 

Morgan glided in his wheeled chair to whisper into Spencer’s ear. 

“Reid, stop giving JJ’s intern bedroom eyes. It fuckin’ weirds me out.” He said, shoving files into the cabinet below Reid’s desk. 

“I’m..I’m not.. I--what? Bedr--No!” Reid whisper-shouted back. 

On the jet: 

“Reid?” Gideon called Spencer, “Chess?” He motioned towards the board. 

“Yes, sure. Just give me a second. I’m almost done. I’m reading Infinite Jest. I don’t usually enjoy literature if it isn’t classic, even less so if it’s American. But..” Spencer smiled, “Y/N likes the author.”  He continued his fast-paced reading of the third-to-last chapter of the book. 

Morgan and Gideon exchanged glances. 

Even in front of you: 

You opened a sugar packet and began stirring. 

“De Revolutionibus Orbium Coelestium is still some of the best work on  heliocentric theory out there, I think. Copernicus knew what he was talking about!” You spun on your heels to see Reid’s face contorted in disagreement. You giggled, “Don’t give me that face! I’m right!” 

He took a sip of his coffee as to keep himself quiet. “Listen, cosmological theory is for…” 

But the pair of you were interrupted, it was Elle, standing behind you and in front of Spencer. 

“New skirt?” Elle asked as you turned, back now facing Reid.  She was pouring herself a cup of coffee too.

“Yes!” You excitedly nodded. “You like it?” 

Elle looked up and down, but not at you. The judgmental eyes were for the man behind you. She pursed her lips, “Not just me.” 

The only face redder than yours was Reid’s.

-----------------------------------

Nights spent in a bar after a case that had dragged on far too long was nothing new, but the energy tonight was especially light. Gideon had refused, but everybody else was just relaxed, even Hotch, and the team just got happier at each other's happiness. It was great, really. As Hotch and Morgan sipped on whiskey, JJ and Penelope had already downed four sugary, colorful cocktails and were in a whispered fit of giggles. Elle and Spencer settled on a tamer option of an IPA Spencer couldn’t name. 

“SPENCER!” Penelope excitedly shouted, “Y/N is literally you! You’re both adorable! You’re both geniuses! You’re both young!” She drew on her rant, “And if you have a crush on her you should just tell her!” JJ’s eyes widened in embarrassment as she tried to cover Penelope’s mouth. 

Morgan and Elle erupted in soft laughter while Hotch cracked an uncharacteristically amused smile. 

“Spence, I swear, I didn’t say that! I just...I may have mentioned how happy you get every time she’s around! And how you guys can talk for literally hours!” JJ defended, her words slurring in silly drunkenness. 

Spencer rolled his eyes. This wasn’t the first time they teased him about you, and it probably wouldn’t be the last time either. 

“I don’t have a crush on her! We just….we like the same things! It gives us a lot to talk about.” 

“Yeah?” Morgan said through a laugh, “And what is it that boy and girl wonder talk about so much?” 

“Well, uh.. a lot of things. But I find she gets the most excited when we are discussing the theories of postmodernism, in that apparent realities are actually just social constructs and veritable realities are subject to change, and uh... we like to talk about linguistics….political philosophy….history... mathematic theory...and uh, oh! Doctor Who.” 

Spencer was blushing and spoke about you like a teenage girl did their boyband crush, and the team noticed. They didn’t even need to say it out loud. Spencer gathered from the way they looked back at him. 

“I heard she lent you a book too, Reid.” Hotch said before taking a sip from his glass. 

“Yes! She did!” He smiled, “It was her copy of Pale Fire. She has an impressive collection of 19th century Russian literature. All in its original dialect! Some of it’s even annotated, which usually would annoy me but since it’s her thoughts and notes I sort of find it endearing.” 

“Dr. Reid is endeared!” Greenaway shrieked.

“Yeah,” he nodded, pushing his glasses up a little higher on his nose, “I find her incredibly endearing.” 

“Y’all that sounded like a dorky love confession.” Morgan said as the team erupted in laughter and Reid’s head fell in a smile. There was no point in denying it anymore: He really, really liked you.

--------------------------------------

Within two months, you and Spencer had finally put your shyness aside, and spent a very lovely evening at watching an orchestra at the Smithsonian Music,  and sharing noodles at your favorite Thai restaurant. And then you guys spent some time on your couch. And then in your bed. And then in the shower. And then in the kitchen. You were both very sexually frustrated. 

For the following two months, as soon as you both stepped out of the office, it was very, very hard to keep your hands off each other. Could either of you help it though? Teenage geniuses don’t experience parties, or football games, or clumsy sex. The time was perfect to make up for it. 

And you guys did. The sex part at least. “Football involves a lot of dirt. And germs. And sweat.”

“Oh my god!” you shrieked. His hands were in a place they found themselves more and more often: Your pants. 

“Does it feel good?” he asked, continuing his pattern of small circles on that particular bundle of nerves. 

“It feels great.” You nodded. 

“I uh, I’ve been researching the female anatomy.” 

You closed your eyes and nodded your head, but trying to focus on your boyfriends newfound intellect. “It’s fascinating, isn’t it?” 

He watched your undoing with boyish adoration and curiosity before swallowing, “Very.” 

“Oh fuck!” Your legs began to shake, “Spencee...I’m gonn--” 

--------------------------------------------

You and Spencer just understood each other.