#this is the most kind they are to each other on a normal basis
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That's the saga of how the Doctor got the Master sick. I might make some more doodles of them both sick in bed watching telly (the master hogs the remote and it's playing teletubbies on repeat, they tried peppa pig but found it too unsettling to nap to).
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eisthenameofme · 6 days ago
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i wonder if there's the potential for a solution to the doxxing fucking over marginalized people specifically thing and/or the some people only being able/knowing where to engage with community online thing if we we were able to like. weaponize the relative lack of actual anonymity in the opposite direction.
like for one thing, instead of doxxing just resulting in problems from others in person, using that information to actively support the person instead, and for another for the other potentially more targeted use of the internet to find people to engage with in person (although that one you'd have to be even more careful about in case it worked in the opposite direction. I'm just thinking it would be nice to have something more structured/widespread than happening to find out your internet friends are in your local area, that could potentially be used to circumvent people not meeting in third spaces/other issues people have initially finding local community in person.)
It would be nice if instead of exclusively finding offline solutions/telling people how to be more careful we could also use what's often part of the problem to our advantage when it does happen. Like, having a way to address it that isn't only preventative.
#no idea whether it's actually practical im essentially just thinking outloud#if we could have another pokemon go thing where people have the opportunity to#encounter each other on a friendly basis in person because of their phones that would also be nice#idk how you'd do some of this in a way that's actually 'safe' though#mypost#the doxxing response thing would have to be either like. a general cultural shift which is probably very unlikely#or a targeted attempt to support people affected that extends to their local area#and the other would kind of just require people to be fine with telling people online roughly where they are it seems like#unless there's some additional vetting process or something you could use first#which would obviously have a bunch of risks + more for some people than others#but like. part of my personal situation re online safety#is that a. i've already been on here and posting shit since i was a younger teen#and it would be practically impossible to make my normal social media doxx-proof to begin with#and b. none of my political opinions or me being trans or anything are exactly a secret in person#so anything someone could try to harass me with in person would either be trying to just like. embarass me in general i guess (useless)#telling people something they already know (also useless)#lying (could cause mostly temporary problems with the wrong person at most)#swatting (okay yeah this one could cause problems if they're stupid enough#to fall for it but also i don't really think there's anything to be done about it)#or other threats to my physical safety (people can do that anyway considering how outwardly visible i am about my#opinions/being trans/etc + that would require them to be in my phsyical proximity as well)#so basically my threat model for internet security is way more lax on General Social Media than a lot of people would think it should be#and i've used the same url for events i've attended in person#but considering that people could definitely find me if they really wanted one way or the other + there's nothing really. secret? on here.#like. there's stuff i wouldn't randomly bring up in conversation but none of this is something i'm actively hiding really#and then if there's something i do want to use the internet for but want to keep Secret secret from my irl identity#that's just a whole different account that i'm creating#tldr you can't realistically intimidate me by threatening to reveal information that's already public knowledge#i guess maybe once i move i'll have to reconsider whether i want to try a new threat model since some of the infomation people would be abl#to get easily would be outdated but i also almost prefer it to stay mostly a moot point so people can't effectively use it as leverage
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lunanoc · 1 year ago
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might as well throw in some pingxie thoughts while i’m at it
i have. many things to say about pingxie. but on the subject of reducing relationships to one dimensional tropes specifically, it does them just as much of a disservice.
my favorite variation of pingxie is in the books (very shocking i know, although that’s technically the original them and not a variation), and by comparison to what’s shown in the dramas (which are fun and self-indulgent don’t get me wrong), the books are the slowest of slow burns. never forget we see everything in them from wu xie’s pov exclusively (at least the main entries), so we can only infer xiaoge’s own growth and development from what wu xie sees of it, but it very much exists.
wu xie has a complicated opinion of xiaoge in the earlier books, mostly because he doesn’t quite know what to make of this man who looks younger than he is and completely blows him off on their first meeting (blows everyone off in fact) much to his displeasure, which leads to the initially derogatory nickname ‘menyouping’, and yet is also vastly competent and knowledgeable. he’s cold and indifferent, yet wu xie feels safe around him and trusts him more than he likely should from the get go, mostly because wu xie’s good at reading people’s intentions and character on an instinctive level he doesn’t always manage to rationalize early on. he’s fascinated and would like to know him better, but also finds him deeply unfathomable, even incomprehensible.
and then you have xiaoge, who it merits saying, is repeatedly described as largely indifferent to most things (and he genuinely is), doing what he deems necessary but otherwise not bothering to involve himself with other people or social niceties. this is a man who spends his time off to the side sleeping or contemplating the sky, and yet in the space of four books he goes from not giving two shts about wu xie (or more than he would the average person) to voluntarily interacting with him, siding with him in quiet ways, helping him through unspoken little acts all the way up until a turning point wherein he first tries to keep his distance from wu xie en route to tamutuo in an effort to keep him from getting further involved than he already is in dangerous things he has no concept of, except by then he’s shown enough uncharacteristic interest in wu xie that wu xie notices he's being cold and distant. this all culminates in the infamous moment where xiaoge eventually lets himself act on thoughts he’s likely never fully analyzed himself, let alone shared with another person, leading to the “if i disappeared no one would notice” moment. 
and from there all the way until post ten years later and into things like yucun biji, the reality is that pingxie were never the serious immortal and the dorky clumsy mortal boy he adopts, nor are they the vulnerable strong one and the eventual protector, or any other trope variation really. pingxie are two people who at the start stand on opposite sides of a line neither of them were ever meant to cross, and to all intents and purposes should never have met for how very different the worlds they come from are. they’re people that circumstance threw together who chose to stay together, and keep choosing each other. they don’t need each other to exist, and could have gone their separate ways had they wanted to, but the importance of their relationship lies in that they stay together by active choice, and that in doing so, they meet in the middle.
wu xie matures and comes to understand a number of things through hardship while xiaoge is behind the gate that untether him just enough from the world that xiaoge isn’t quite so unfathomable anymore, while xiaoge comes down from his imposed pedestal just enough that he tethers himself to wu xie (and pangzi) and learns to live rather than exist
neither of them became a different person for the other, and the core of their relationship (and the beauty of it) is in the harmony and understanding they eventually achieve. reducing all of that to archetypes is honestly a little tragic
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fucktoyfelix · 7 months ago
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Choking Safety
I've been seeing some kind of scare-mongering type posts going around about choking during sex, so I wanted to address how to approach choking in a safe way. Choking is not a 0 risk activity, but it is also not so dangerous that you will just randomly die either. Anyone who does martial arts will confirm that thousands of teenagers are being successfully trained to choke each other safely (for self defense) every day! There's no reason you can't learn to do it too.
First you should be familiar with some basic anatomy of the neck and throat:
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The carotid veins on both sides of the neck and the trachea/windpipe in the center are the most important things to be aware of. If you want to enjoy the psychological element of having someone's hands around your neck with relatively little risk, you can do "choking" play that avoids putting any pressure on those arteries or the trachea. As with all choking play, safety is highest when both parties are fully sober. I'm not actually sure if there are people out there who are into having the windpipe or trachea blocked. This tends to hurt like fuck and cause an autonomic choking response. You'll know if you went too far center because generally the bottom will be like "WTH". I don't know if there is a way to do this play safely or not as I don't have experience with it. It probably carries some risk of the trachea collapsing which would be a hospital trip for sure. Most choking play is done with the intention of cutting off the blood supply to the brain by applying pressure to both the left and right carotid arteries. This type of choking is not really "breath play" because of the way it works (though many people refer to it that way.) This creates a pleasant light headed feeling, but is also where the higher risk comes in. It often doesn't take long for a person to lose consciousness once these arteries are blocked, often less than 10 seconds. Sometimes getting completely choked out is the goal, sometimes not. Either way, the top has to pay very very careful attention to every aspect of their bottom's body language. Once you realize that a person has lost consciousness, the choking must stop immediately. Because of this: the most dangerous way to do this kind of play is alone. (hence all the auto-erotic asphyxiation deaths you hear about) It goes without saying that intoxication also dramatically increases the risks. It's not recommended to lose consciousness this way on a regular basis. It's just not good for your brain to repeatedly go through, especially in rapid succession. Generally, the more time spaced out between this type of play: the better. Though some people may have medical conditions that make the risk higher, as long as you stop choking when you reach the desired headspace, this play is approachable. Anyone who's REALLY into the idea but feels unsure or scared, I highly recommend taking a few martial arts classes. MMA guys do this to each other all the time! For sports! The key is just stopping at the right time. There are two main ways to go about blocking the carotid arteries. The main one used in martial arts and self defense is the rear naked choke.
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This type of choke is incredible effective at choking someone out quickly and easily. The forearm and the bicep are squeezing each artery until the desired effect is achieved. The risk here is how quickly it works in combination with not being able to have a visual on your bottom's facial response. When someone loses consciousness they will go limp and begin twitching somewhat. This is normal, and you should stop immediately if you notice those signs. The more common method of choking play during sex is what looks more like typical choking. Facing your partner, using both hands.
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You want to find the arteries with both hands, and use the meat at the base of your thumbs to apply gradually increasing pressure upwards towards your partner's head. You can keep the thumbs tucked to avoid accidental pressure on the windpipe. (Though this is not required so long as you remember not to apply pressure to the windpipe.) This type of play has a few safety benefits. First, you can see your partner's face so it's more obvious when you can see they've hit a headspace that is desirable. Additionally, it's just a little more difficult to find the arteries and push up on them correctly. If your goal is to get a little light headed without losing consciousness, this is more easily accomplished with this type of choke. However, losing consciousness is still a risk and both partners being fully alert will ensure the lowest risk environment. I know choking play is incredibly popular, even 'vanilla' people participate in this type of play on a regular basis without really knowing the technical details. Most of them don't get seriously hurt...but knowing what you're actually doing with risky play is a base component of risk aware consensual kink. Anyway I hope people find this helpful! Happy choking!!
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feminine-obedient-alexandra · 2 months ago
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First Times
For a long time, i didn't understand what Men find hot about this. A girl licking a toilet or other non-sexual but icky things. But nowadays i know that it isn't about sex, it is about dignity. A normal person wouldn't lick the toilet, but a dirty whore would. That means by licking the toilet the girl admits to being a dirty whore. She shows that she has no boundaries, that she will do anything for him. Often it does not even matter what it is she does, as long as she does it because he wants it (and would never do it without him demanding it). And the more repulsive the action is, the more turned on the Man gets.
By debasing ourselves, by lowering ourselves to toilet licking whores, we can attract male attention. Every girl can look pretty in a dress, it is not that difficult. And while it is also not technically difficult to lick a toilet, most girls get stopped by their pride and dignity. Only by being able to overcome those burdens, we can show Men that we are worth their time. We can show them that we don't act inside the normal morals, that we are not like all the other girls, we are better, more fun. Of course, toilet licking is here just an example, not every Man will be into this particular action, but what they are into is into pushing the boundaries of what is considered "normal".
In that sense, it is kind of a test. A test if we are ready to submit or if our pride and dignity have ruined us. When it comes to sex Men have a very dirty and creative mind. There will always be new things that they invent. Just look at the porn industry. One would assume that by now every kind of porn has already been shot but yet the industry is booming with more and more videos coming out each day. Men don't want to let their sex life get stale, they need new things. So while it might have been enough to show some ankle 150 years ago, today Men need more. They need dirty sluts. They need us to throw away the "morals" of society and go the extra mile. Where it once has been showing some ankle, then maybe some knee and now we are in a time where clean-shaven pubic hair and anal sex is expected.
It won't stop. It will keep going. Men will need more and more, we can't just sit back and relax on the basis that we once licked a toilet. No, Men need more and need it repeated. You cannot do things for the first time twice. Once you degraded yourself in a certain way, you can repeat it but you can never make happen for the first time again. With each repeat, it will get easier and more normal. That is why morals shift - there will always be people on the edge of what is "normal" and push the boundaries a little further. And after a while, it is not seen as weird anymore and a new normal gets created.
So keep in mind that with every degrading action, with every defiance of your pride and with every renouncing of your dignity, you shift what's normal a little bit further. And every first you give your Man just ingrains you in his brain. A Man will not remember the 10th blowjob he got, but he sure as hell still knows everything about the first time he came into a girl's mouth. Do your research and check the porn sites for new stuff. Look at what is trending, those are the videos Men are watching. Watching something is the first step. After they have seen plenty of it, they will want to experience it. So prepare by watching the same videos and get used to the ideas in porn. Over time even the most degrading actions can appear normal to us, use this to your advantage and always be one step ahead :)
Of course, this does not mean that this is all Men want. Men want a variety of things, they are quite complex beings. But porn, sex, and degradation go hand in hand. Every Man is influenced by them to some extent. Some more and some less. But it never hurts to dismantle any pride you might feel. Pride never helped anyone, it is poisonous. With dignity it is the same. No girl ever got her prince charming because she was the most dignified. No Man ever had an orgasm from respecting a girl.
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oikasugayama · 1 year ago
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BSD MEN AS BOYFRIENDS pt. 2
pt. 1 Dazai, Kunikida, Atsushi, Chuuya pt. 2 Ango, Ranpo, Poe
mentions of smut in Ranpo and Poe's!!
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Ango
He's a sadboi and once he's comfortable with you he's probably whiny and clingy. It's extreeeemely common for him to come home from work exhausted, change out of his suit, and silently drop down beside you wherever you are. If you're in bed he'll lay with you, if you're on the couch he'll sit with you, hell sometimes he'll get into your bath with you. He wont talk for a while--sometimes up to an hour-- while he decompresses from work, and then finally once he's started to relax he'll talk to you and ask how your day was. You're used to this-- you can't imagine the stress he's under on a day to day basis not only doing his job but knowing that he's incredibly hated among some very very dangerous circles. You promised him a long time ago that you wouldn't ask about it and would try your best not to worry about it. "I could be killed any day for a multitude of reasons," he told you once. "Let me worry about that. Please just let me feel normal and in love with you in the meantime."
He doesn't...have friends... so you get to spend ALL of his free time with him :D Not that there's a lot of it. He hates working late, but unfortunately it happens a lot (funny how it coincides with every time the Port Mafia or the Armed Detective Agency get involved in some big scheme). You miss him when he's late coming home, but as much as you want to be a cute partner and bring him dinner at the office (or stop by for any reason for that matter), you know you can't. Ango keeps your relationship EXTREMELY private, to the point of being secretive. You're not allowed to be seen in public together, for your safety. He doesn't want you to be taken and used against him for any reason, so it's better that your relationship is under wraps.
One time, though, you were at home with him and Dazai--okay, so Ango has one friend--invited himself in. You'd never met him before this moment, and he seemed shocked that Ango wasn't home alone. You've heard enough about Dazai to know that he likely instantly knew who you were to Ango when he saw you leaned against each other on the couch in the split second before Ango leapt to his feet and started yelling at Dazai for breaking in.
Ango honestly seems a little relieved to introduce you properly to Dazai-- you're the two most important people in his personal life, after all. Now maybe he can have his two favorite people in the room at the same time and feel a little normal for once.
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Ranpo
Don't even fucking pretend like you don't have a crush on him. The second you think "oh shit, I think I like him" he opens his eyes, quirks an eyebrow at you, and says "I didn't even do anything." If you didn't know better you'd think he's telepathic. He asks you on a date then and there (after a bit of teasing, trying to get you to admit to liking him before he outs you himself)
He fairly quickly decides that he wants to be your partner, having worked out in an instant that you'll make his life more fun and give him lots of things that he isn't used to (i.e. affection) that he desperately wants.
If you ask why he didn't date anyone before you came along, he says that he has dated a few people, but only if they've approached him, because he's too lazy to pursue anyone. It's easier for him to wait for someone to confess than to try to hunt for someone good.
He's not much for cuddling. He's kind of touch averse and isn't too fond of petting or random innocent touches or hand holding. He very, very much likes kisses and compliments, though!! You can smooch him and tell him how handsome and smart and good he is and it'll send him over the moon.
He doesn't have much of a sex drive, but you do have sex. He prefers to not do the work as much as possible. If you'll suck him off or ride him, he's more than satisfied. He tells you he used to think he could honestly live without sex, but then he remembers how good you look when you're blissed out and how proud he feels when he makes you feel good, and it makes him want to do it more. Throughout your relationship he gets a bit more sexually adventurous, but it does take a while for him to get used to all the physical touching and the energy it expends.
It's impossible to surprise him. You have to start warning him that you want to surprise him, and then he pretends not to notice any of the sneaking you do. You kind of knew this was going to be an issue going into the relationship, but you didn't realize he wouldn't know not to spoil a surprise. He gets pretty good at pretending he didn't know surprises were coming, though. His favorite ones involve you making him special dinners or coming to the office in the middle of the day to bring him lunch and give him a kiss right in front of all of his coworkers.
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Poe
He will buy you EX!PEN!SIVE! GIFTS! You want a rare first edition of a novel from the 19th century? $2,000? Pocket change. You want a beautiful gemstone neceklace and it turns out it's $100k because they're all diamonds? Easy spending money. He'd buy you a whole fucking town if you asked him to. Please ask him to. Please.
He is at your beck and call. Every second you're not with him he's thinking of you and moping. He cries to Karl that you must have forgotten about him and what if you don't love him anymore? He falls into a doom spiral and writes devastating poetry about never-ending despair and loathing--and then you text him and he's sunshine and rainbows and writes you a sonnet about how much he loves you. He's especially susceptible to sexts. If you send him a picture of your tits or your bulge, his mouth will be watering and he will call you in an instant, whining and begging for you to come see him as soon as possible.
he insists he can see through his hair and prefers it to be in his eyes to block some of the light--even if it's dark, it's still too bright for him. The first time you huff and reach up to move his hair out of his face, he nearly nuts on the spot. There's something about you grabbing his hair and forcing him to look you, unobstructed, in the eye that turns him on so much. He's very much a sub and wants you to take control and tell him exactly what you want any time you get intimate.
quality time is very important to him, just as much so as gift giving. He'd be happy to be in the same room as you even if you weren't looking at him or talking to him. All it takes is for you to be nearby for him to feel at ease. He's very prone to anxiety, but having you by his side, or just in his vicinity, makes him feel a bit braver.
He lowkey gets jealous when you give Karl more attention than him. Yes the raccoon is cute and very pettable, but Poe is pettable too, damn it, look at all that hair he has!! Run your fingers through it!! Kiss his forehead!! Discover what color his eyes are and wax poetic about how beautiful they are and ask why he keeps hiding them from you!! Give him attention!!!!!!!!!!!
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starrysunbeam · 4 months ago
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asteroid sweet (11727)⋆。‧˚ʚ🍬ɞ˚‧。⋆
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asteroid sweet (11727) represents sweetness, innocent charm, and "cute" energy. when you think of america's sweethearts, they probably have this asteroid somewhere important. marilyn monroe and judy garland both have theirs in their midheaven, for example.
note: you may not resonate with an asteroid's energy unless it's prominent in your chart (ex. conjunct your sun, moon and/or rising). i'm still including a description for each house, so hopefully it resonates for you!
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sweet in the 1st house ~
no matter how old you are, you have a youthful glow about you. you also have a welcome presence, so you get along with most people. people might get protective over you because of how pure you are, like an apple not meant to be poisoned. you’re very precious.
sweet in the 2nd house ~
people might like to treat you because they just feel that you deserve it! you also like to treat yourself, and do a lot of self-care. scent and taste are important to you, you want to smell good and definitely have a sweet tooth.
sweet in the 3rd house ~
well aren't you a sweet talker? you can get out of a lot just because of your endearing nature. if you have siblings, maybe you were the favored child, or your parents always believed you over others. if you like to sing, your voice may sound almost childlike, kind of like beabadoobee.
sweet in the 4th house ~
your family most likely doted over you as you grew up. this placement reminds me of someone who'd want a cute vintage home, maybe a victorian cottage. perhaps you like gifting homemade baked goods to loved ones.
sweet in the 5th house ~
you probably like the cutecore aesthetic and colors like pink and peach. you remind me of someone who’d like sanrio, strawberry shortcake, things like that. you probably experience baby fever often (or puppy/kitten fever).
sweet in the 6th house ~
you have a soft, kind approach when it comes to taking care of others. you might prefer sweet to savory in your diet. gratitude is a healing practice for you.
sweet in the 7th house ~
you love to be around people who you deem as sweet. you’re drawn to more feminine, lighthearted energy. you show your sweet side more in your relationships than on a normal basis.
sweet in the 8th house ~
when you act all cute and sweet, it turns people on. it’s giving pillow princess vibes. you might not always feel like you can personify this energy a lot, but it comes out in your intimate relationships.
sweet in the 9th house ~
you probably think young people have the best view on the world, full of possibilities and kind of guarded from the harsher realities. the world is like an ice cream shop and you have yet to try all the flavors!
sweet in the 10th house ~
america’s sweetheart energy. your charm is effortless. you might get frustrated at times because people treat you younger than you are, or act like you’re inexperienced, especially at work. i imagine you’d be the good face of a company, whether a ceo or receptionist or model, because no one can deny that smile.
sweet in the 11th house ~
you remind me of the kind of person who’d befriend the outcast at school, you’re just really nice. it’s not that you take pity, you just see the good in everyone. you might be involved in charity or volunteer work.
sweet in the 12th house ~
you might feel like your kindness has been weaponized too many times, so your patience with people has run thin. since the 12th house can indicate hidden enemies, be wary of those who are sweet to your face but something else behind your back. you need to be gentle with yourself, healing your inner child is of importance here.
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justporo · 1 year ago
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Hi sweetheart if your request is open I want to request a nsfw and or sfw alphabet for Astarion 🥰
Hello my sweet, Anon, and thank you! Oh exciting, I like these, so I'm happy someone asked me to do this. This will be SFW but maybe I'll do a NSFW version too - if people want it?
I used this wonderful template by @the-coldest-goodbye (thank you for making this!)
Also let's call this
Fluffy relationship headcanons about Astarion and Tav (in alphabetic order)
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(Because I know the word headcanon is somewhat of a Pavlov'sch bell for some people here, hihi~)
A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
Very much so. Once Astarion really grabs onto the concept of having someone he deeply and truly loves, he tells them every moment of every day. He compliments them, showers them in gifts, his flirtatious behaviour never stops. But oh yeah, they also bicker like an old married couple - it's their love language.
Also he’s very keen to keep his hands on you, PDA: oh hells yeah, showing the whole world you belong to him, also you’re just that yummy.
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
Pure chaotic goblin energy. If you’re best friends with Astarion you’re most likely enabling each other to commit arson on a daily basis – and you love it.
You most likely stumbled over each other, each thought “what a dickhead, looks so dumb…”, figured you were equally sassy and were inseparable from there on out. Because the best friendships start with thinking “ugh, this dumb idiot…”
Also being in a relationship with Astarion means also being his best friend and having chaotic gremlin moments – like for example grouping up on Gale to shittalk him.
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
Cuddling is a kind of unusual concept for Astarion at first, like with any kind of non-sexual intimacy. But he very quickly figures out he loves cuddling. Just normal hugging, holding you standing behind you with his arms around your waist. But he also enjoys it so so much when he’s being held, just knowing your arms are his safe haven.
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
Honestly, after everything? Yes – at least for quite some time I guess Astarion wants to settle down, have some time to figure himself out but also enjoying some mundance peace and quiet with Tav – with the biggest worry being what he’ll wear this night.
He’s shit tho at all the domestic shit. He doesn’t know how to cook or anything else and frankly he has never needed to because even before being turned he lived the comfortable live of a noble. Tav’s going to have to teach him a thing or two on how not to be so messy…
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
Despite that I am 1000% convinced that Tav and Astarion are endgame… Quickly, I believe, like ripping a bandaid off, but making sure to really get the point across on why.
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
The idea of commitment might scare Astarion, the idea of having Tav forever does not. So I guess he would actually come around to the idea although you both assure each other it’s not to prove something. Also Astarion does joke about it – because he loves thinking about it, to have someone who’s loving him until the end of time.
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
So gentle, almost chaste, especially at first. Yeah yeah, he knows every trick in the book when it comes to sex, but exploring what a committed relationship can feel like? Sharing small moments of intimacy, opening up his feelings that he never really allowed himself to have before.
That being said I believe the first time Tav and Astarion sleep with each other after he’s freed: it’s like it’s his first time, fully there, bravely letting himself fall into your open loving arms, experiencing for the first time what it means to be this kind of intimate with someone you love more than anything else in this world.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
Something he also didn’t really quite get until he shared it with Tav – and then the other ones who became his friends. He relishes hugs as something that really make him feel at peace. And he does become a hugger, at least with Tav: small, quick hugs to full-blown embraces – although these are something he likes to enjoy only with you. Oh, and they’re wonderful hugs: not too strong, not too weak, although Astarion might be a bit of a clinger, especially in the beginning, when he can never get enough.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
Tav says it first, but he’s pretty brave and pretty sure about his feelings (at least about how hard he’s fallen once he accepts the initial fact), so pretty quickly. And after that: AT. ANY. POSSIBLE. MOMENT.
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
Jealous, but reasonably so. Like he can obviously differentiate if you’re just friends with someone or if it might even just be flirty banter (because he’s also guilty as charges with that) but someone hits on you, you’re definitely not interested, the other person keeps pushing? He’ll be ready to rip their throat out. He gets protective. This being said, his jealousy is always focused on the other party pushing a toe out of line, not you.
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
Everything? Everywhere? All at once?
Of course his kisses are perfect, he likes to kiss every inch of your body and loves when you repay him for that in like. Although like with other intimate moments it’s still something new to him because there are a lot of feelings in it now.
Also Astarion and Tav love to annoy each other with giving each other big wet smooches when the other person is being annoying or just needs a lip-smacking reminder of affection.
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
“You’re so gross, Astarion.”
“Why is cute, when Scratch does it, but not when I do it?”
“BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT A DOG, ASTARION!”
“I mean I could bark if you wanted me to.”
Children can be annoying them because “ugh, why are they so loud and smelly… and sticky” but Astarion loves the chaotic energy kids have. And if the other companion’s would ever bring kids over he would absolutely incite them to cause chaos all around, teach them naughty words, give them candy so they get a sugar rush when they should actually go to bed.
And Astarion is good at telling kids captivating stories, so he becomes the resident storyteller when friends with kids come visit.
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?) (or in his case evenings, I figure)
Slow, full of cuddles and “five more minutes, my love, please” – basically he loves to just hang around with you in bed. He also takes his sweet time getting ready after waking up – A) because he can B) “when you look this good…”; once he figures out what Tav’s favourite hot beverage is in the morning, he’d learn how to brew it perfectly and bring it to them when he’s feeling generous.
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?) (and here days, accordingly)
Even more cuddles, talking before bed, talking after going to bed, probably having lots of wine while doing so – or just lounging around reading with his head in your lap while you detangle his soft curls.
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
Slowly at first but then more and more. But there’s just as much for him to unpack as there is for you to learn and take in. But Astarion learns quickly that you’re a good person to open up to: he feels safe and seen with you. And even if it doesn’t fix all his trauma right away – telling you, it really helps.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
Astarion has more than a bit of temper. He can get very easily annoyed especially by little, seemingly unimportant things. He can snap at you but he tries to take a quick breather then and work through it and apologises – even though this too is something he learns slowly.
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
I think he memorizes a lot about everyone anyway, because it’s a survival instinct to gather all possible information that might become helpful. But besides that: once Astarion is all aboard the relationship train, he will absolutely remember everything – probably even better than you. That’s also why he gets you the best gifts, because he listens, when you tell him something that you would like.
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
He holds the memory of this first special hug very close and dear in his heart. Because he remembers how incredibly frightened he was how scary that leap was. But there you were quite literally with open arms and an open heart.
But there’s lots more moments. When you bought the house in Baldur’s Gate and he could carry you inside the first time cheekily in bridal style? The first gift you ever gave him for your first anniversary? There’sso many and he collects them like precious little treasures.
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
Very, oh he’s so very protective. And he will cut someone if the need arises. He might actually even be a bit too eager about it. And he likes when you’re protective of him as well – and let’s be honest you’re just as eager to keep him safe.
Nobody touches you or him – or they get the sharp end of a knife.
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
Everyday stuff, oh eeeeh, it’s hard. Astarion is just so not used to it, but he tries. He really does. And gifts, dates and all? Firstly, he finds out that he’s very much a romantic. Secondly, this man does not do things like this lightly, because “if we were going to be basic about it, we don’t have to do it at all”.
And he regularly outdoes himself trying to spoil you.
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
As much as he tries to be open and learn. The habits of 200 years die hard. Sometimes when he feels backed into a corner he snaps and he can be very much hurtful. And as much as you want to pretend you rationally know it better, you do get angry sometimes, you do feel hurt. And you do have fights.
But at latest when tempers are cooled again, you always get back around to talking it through and learning something from it. The two of you never go to bed angry with each other – that’s an unspoken agreement.
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
Astarion deeply is a creature of vanity. He cares about his looks almost as much as he cares about Tav. And it can annoying, but then again: he deserves to treat himself and he deserves all the swooning and pining and compliment you can give him – and you happily supply.
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
Let me cite a fic of mine and although Tav says it, Astarion feels very much the same:
“I love you so much, I would give up everything for you, if only it meant I could still be with you. I would burn this whole world down if it meant, I could keep you safe. I would walk with you to the end of the universe if it was what you needed to be happy. And if I ever where to leave this earthly world behind, I believe my soul would find you again – and again and again – because I’m half and only ever whole with you.”
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
It’s hard to say that he has no regrets. And surely Astarion would never want to go through all his trauma again, but yet… in the end he met you, didn’t he?
In the end he found you and you became his light.
Sometimes he thinks about that as you lay beside him dreaming. He softly moves a strand of hair out of your closed eyes and thanks whatever God has sent you his way
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
Plainly, if they saw him in a way like probably everyone did for the past two centuries and if he felt used by them. But you’re you and would never do that.
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)
He doesn’t know it but he tends to be a clinger when he’s in his dreamful trance. And maybe this is only a thing he developed since the two of you have been together, but he sometimes wakes you because in his sleep he pulls you to him so you’re left with nothing but snuggling up to him – becoming his life size teddy bear.
You’d never have it any other way!
(Also sorry for swinging between Tav/you - I'm just so used to 2nd person perspective while writing, oops)
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kinkandkreep · 5 months ago
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Celebratory Blue Lock Boi Yandere Interpretations: Ryusei Shidou, Yoichi Isagi, Meguru Bachira, Reo Mikage, Rin Itoshi
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A/N:...Hey hey y'all...🙂 Ok, so I fuckin' lied I am so sorry. 😭 These was sposed to be for my birthday yestaday but the day got so busy and I was tied den a mug, so posting these did not happen. 🙃 But! Alas, I am here now, and I have for you all my introductory yandere interpretations for 5 of the Blue Lock boyos!
Keep in mind, I am still getting caught up on the anime so if anything reads off, I apologize. I'll very likely either come back and adjust these as I become more familiar with their personalities or just post a whole new set for each boy.
Anyway, enjoy!
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Ryusei Shidou: 
Let me just say right off the bat that I get the strong notion that Ryusei is gonna swiftly become my favorite character the more exposed I am to him (like I already love his design and that weird sexual edge his character possesses 😏)
That aside, as a Yandere, I envision that he maintains that same intense energy he has about football, it just manifests a little differently
You make his heart “explode,” in a similar fashion to his precious football- either that, or you possess an “explosive” quality within yourself that draws him in
I saw someone say that outside of a few specific circumstances, Ryu is a pretty chill dude, which I think is 100% true
And I believe this can even apply to you, in the Yandere sense as well
Ryusei can be intense, and a little monopolizing 
He's also somewhat possessive 
But for the most part, as long as he knows you're his and you continue to make him “explode,” Ryusei isn't the worst Yan to have
Now, in my research, I have seen some interpretations of him where he’s much more sadistic than I personally envision him to be, which of course is fine, but just know that my Ryusei can’t really be bothered to act sadistically unless you try to fight him
Exactly why you’d try to do that is beyond me, but if you did happen to want to start a physical altercation with Ryu, he may be inclined to be a little rough with you, just to show a bit of what he’s capable of and also keep you in check
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Yoichi Isagi:
I just look at Yoichi and a single phrase comes to mind- “he’s a sweetheart unless provoked”
You, provoke him
You make this nagging little voice in the back of his head make the Spongebob “wee-woo” sound at like max volume every time you’re in each other’s vicinity
Yandere Yoichi adores you
He’s like a little pup around you, always wanting attention and affirmation and reassurance that he’s the best, and the he’s going to be the best, and that throughout it all you’ll never leave him
But! He can also be kind of intense and maybe a bit of an asshole
Like just look at him and tell me you don’t get that vibe
I’m new to the game as it relates to Blue Lock but from what I’ve gleaned, Yoichi has a sort of metaphorical switch that turns on and off depending on the circumstance
Things get heavy when he’s on the field, and that’s when his “Ego” comes out
It makes him more cocky and confident, from what I understand, and I’d say the same thing applies where it concerns you
For the most part, Yandere Yoichi is just your average puppy with a thigh fetish
But let the “Ego” come out, and now he’s more domineering, controlling and patronizing
Try not to trigger that part of him though, and Yoichi is actually a pretty ok Yandere to have
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Meguru Bachira:
Meg’s a weirdo but one of the lovable variety
He’s a very eccentric character, as I’m sure anyone who’s familiar with Blue Lock will know
He talks about the “monster” that inhabits his psyche and manifests itself when he plays soccer
I don’t particularly subscribe to the idea that this “monster” influences his actions on a normal, day to day basis (though that could be the case and I just missed it in my research) but I can definitely see how one would think it does
I will say that years of simple…cohabitation (?) with the monster has definitely left an indelible mark on Meguru’s mind
Yandere Meguru especially 
To Yandere Meguru Bachira, you are perhaps the most important thing in his life
Being bullied for so long and so relentlessly probably wasn’t the best for his mental and emotional wellbeing, as you can imagine, so Meguru has been in desperate need of someone to come along and show him genuine love and support
He’s found that in you, and that’s part of the reason his Yandere personality/tendencies make an appearance when he’s with you
He’s definitely clingy and wants all your attention all the time, and he’s also not very knowledgeable on what it means to give someone their personal space
He doesn’t give you much autonomy either, really preferring to do things for you when given the chance
He can get a little intense, but he’d never hurt you 
Physically, at least
And if by some off chance he were to hurt you otherwise, it would never be on purpose
All that said, I do kind of think that Bachira would be one of the slightly more uncomfortable Yans to have, simply on account of his neediness 
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Reo Mikage: 
FIrst off, let me just say, eat the rich 😤
Chile when I was doin’ my research and saw dis dude’s frankly ridiculous net worth I was appalled 
But if he smart enough to know what to do with the money and assets then I guess it’s whateva 🤷🏾‍♀️
Anyway, that aside, let’s focus back up 😂
I could potentially see Reo being one of the more strict Yan’s to have 
He just has so much to protect, and that includes you
He’s also probably very used to getting the things he wants and having things go his way that he can’t imagine you not reciprocating his feelings, or at the very least seeing the benefit in choosing him over everyone else
And as we’ve seen (me only partially really, I’m still makin’ my way through the show 🙃) he already has some form of an attachment issue as it relates to Nagi, or alternatively, the things he’s invested time and energy in and on
Which, as you can imagine, would include you, should he decide to pursue you
As a Yandere, Reo is admittedly controlling and a bit smothering
But he’s just like that ‘cus he wants to ensure that nothing will separate you two!
It’s innocent really, honest!
And given Reo’s reputation, it would be rather difficult to convince others that he’s, well, kinda crazy if you were so inclined
But other than that, as long as you remain loyal, Reo’s a pretty fair Yandere
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Rin Itoshi:
Whoo boy, this one’s a tough nut to crack
I honestly think Rin is more tsun than yan but I could definitely see where the Yandere aspect of him could potentially rear its head
I’m not 100% up on my knowledge of what the hell his deal is with his brother, but from what I’ve gathered, there’s this mostly one-sided rivalry (on Rin’s part) towards Sae (his brother, for the uninformed) because he (Sae) refuses to acknowledge Rin in soccer and he abandoned their shared soccer dream from when they were little
That all being the case, I really like the concept that Rin is a Yandere for you because A.) something about you warms something cold and dead inside him and B.) you recognize him as talented and capable outside of his brother’s influence, and he (Rin) desperately clings to that affirmation 
Rin is undoubtedly possessive, wanting nothing more than to hide you away where only he can access you or, alternatively, make it known to everyone, in whatever way, that you belong to him
Rin is also somewhat domineering and controlling, as he still doesn’t want anything to tarnish his reputation
I think as a Yandere he’s a little more open to PDA (not by much at all, but just a little) 
I also think that, as a Yandere, Rin can be fairly intense without realizing it
Like during games and whatnot, he ups the ante ‘cus he knows you’re watching and he wants to impress you, keep your attention, and have earned your praise when he’s done
That could also apply to him normally sorta, but I think the behavior is more prominent in Yandere mode
All-in-all, Yandere Rin isn’t the most terrible, he’s mostly just…needy, in his own special way
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a-casual-kpopfan · 1 year ago
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It's a Date. - Karina
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Shoutout to @capslocked for the little beta read. <3
I'm starting to get back into the writing groove, dropping small fics here and there. This was fairly short and sweet, I hope you all enjoy as usual. :)
~~~~~
You were one of the hosts to take Aespa around New York while they’re on tour; today was an off day and you were with the group and their managers going out to several shopping districts and trying desserts throughout the day. 
“Oppa, how come you’re not looking around for things?” Little Winter walking along next to you like a puppy, if a puppy can carry like 5 shopping bags with their paws.
“I live in the city Winter; this is my lifestyle.” You look around the shopping centre, it’s bustling and hustling as NYC would be normally. “Oh, come on oppa, there’s got to be something for you to do too, what about a girlfriend?” You had to think about it, it’s been a while since you were out with someone, let alone had a long-term relationship. “Ah, the last time I dated someone was back in college.” You gave a little smile to Winter as the two of you walked just behind the main group of members and managers.
Karina who’s walking along the main group takes a glance behind, seeing you and Winter laughing through your conversation. She excuses herself from the main group and slows down to the pace of you and Winter. “Ahh, what’s so funny?” Karina may be one of the most visually appealing idols and one of the most captivating people to ever walk this planet. But her looks don’t define who she is; Karina is actually a walking toddler.
Her cheeks are puffed up and lips in a pout. “Winter here is calling me a fossil, calling me old because I haven’t dated since college!” You were playing along with the act, acting a little whiny and childish which was alright, you’ve been with the girls a couple days already, they’re really playful and outgoing which is something you really appreciate seeing in Korean idols compared to a lot of Western stars you’ve hosted around every once in awhile.
Winter laughs uncontrollably on your left side, and is holding onto your arm, Karina is happy to see that there’s someone to trust outside of their group. “How old are you then oppa?” Karina tilts her head like a puppy, it really seems like Aespa as a group is a bunch of little puppies. “I’m 26 years old.” Winter pretends to be super shocked, exaggerating a dropped jaw. “Oh, my goodness, you’re a grandpa!”
“Yah, I’m only 3 years older than Karina.” Trying to defend yourself from Winter, but on the other side Karina is laughing at Winter’s reaction. “Oh, you’re not that old oppa, I just see the little white hairs appearing on your head.” Karina jokes around but catches you off guard making your jaw genuinely drop. “Ms. Karina!” Your jaw stays open but with a smile, you are putting your hand over your heart as if you got shot, but what really shot you is Karina’s smile and laughter.
Your walk through the mall was fun, it was all smooth going until…
“Oppa! Let’s go get you some clothes!” Giselle, the most fluent in English, pulls you into a local clothing shop. “Giselle!” The idol continued pulling your arm, you really didn’t have a choice. “Please, just call me Aeri.” With a reassuring smile that it’s okay to be on a first name basis at this point. “I feel like we’ll know each other a lot more after today.” Aeri with an excited smile, confuses you but you just go with the vibe.
“Oo, you'd be good with this… And this… We should try this too…” Aeri is picking out several pieces of clothing, going through different kinds of pants, looking at the blazers and some tops. “Giselle.” Aeri looks at you with a glare. “Aeri…” The glare changed to a smile, relieving you of possible stress. “Oppa, just try these on, okay?” Dumping a small pile of clothes into your arms, all you could do is sigh and accept it.
You went through multiple variations of outfits from all the clothes that Aeri has chosen for you. After spending about a half hour trying on clothes, there was a set that both you and Aeri found fond of. “Wah, oppa! You look so handsome!” You were wearing a short sleeve dark blue blazer, though worn open and on the inside, a nice grey, almost a salt & pepper style t-shirt, a black jean, complemented with a very dark brown leather shoe. “Wow, I have to hand it to you; you have great style Aeri.”
“Perks of being an idol~” You look through the mirror and watch Aeri pose with a V sign, making you laugh.
“That decides it, let’s go buy them!” You shook your head and looked at Aeri through the mirror. “I may be making decent money but buying all this is too expensive for me.” Your little shopping companion comes up to the mirror and looks you in the eye. “Oppa, who said you were going to pay?” And out of her pocket is her credit card from the company. “Yah, wouldn’t they be mad if you bought something not for you with this card?”
“This is the least that I can do being such a great host for us the last couple days.” You turn around to see a sincere smile and it doesn’t seem like she would take ‘No’ as an answer. “Okay, you win this round.” Aeri clapping her hands and you shrug in defeat as you make yourself to a change room with your original clothing.
Aeri kept to her word, now you’re walking along with Ningning and holding quite a lot of clothing. “Are you having fun with us, oppa?” It’s almost like each member is having their turn with you throughout the day. “Sure, I am Ningning, I get to spend time with very famous idols.” Ningning wasn’t satisfied with that answer. “What do you really like to do for fun?” You were confused as to why the idols are being really personal with you lately.
“Hmm, I’m originally from South Korea, but after moving here I really grew into North American culture. Watching basketball games, going out for bar food like wings and burgers with friends late at night. I do enjoy playing billiards, I’m always open to trying new activities.” Ningning now seems to be happy with that answer. “It seems that you’re very active.” You and Ningning kept the conversation going with each other, more and more you’re finding out the girls like to drink and eat a lot in the dorm, yet they seem so fit for the amount of food they consume and more Ningning is finding out your habits here in New York.
Once finding a restaurant to have a late lunch, you and the group were seated but you offered to sit separately as you would like to give the girls and managers their privacy.
“Nonsense! You’re sitting with us!” Karina was not happy with your suggestion. “You’re a part of us and you’re sitting with us.” The leader was standing firm, and wouldn't budge for anything. “Because you’re trying to bail on us, I’m making you sit next to me to keep an eye on you.” Karina poking your chest with her finger, you were given no choice. You couldn’t help but smile about it and shrugged. “Good, let’s go.” Karina grabbed your hand and dragged you in.
You were led to a large table fitting for 8 near the back of the restaurant, not completely private but obscure enough to eat comfortably. Karina sat on a bench with Winter and a manager beside her, one seat was left, and you were going to offer it to Ningning or Giselle, but you watch them already sit on the other side of the table with their other managers. “Nope, with me oppa.” Karina was sitting down, looking up to you with a smile.
“I really can’t get away from you, can I?” You finally gave up and sat down to the group’s leader. “Looks like someone has a liking for him.” Winter nudges Karina, shortly getting a slap to the leg to deny the teasing. “Yah…” You couldn’t hear the little whispers, you tried to ignore everything so the members can have a sense of comfortability and privacy, but then Karina can easily notice that you’re feeling uncomfortable.
“Hey… It’s okay.” Karina lays her palm on top of your hand and pats it. “Just be yourself, that’s all I ask for.” Her head is on a tilt, her smile, sincere. You nod your head and try your best to follow Karina’s asking. She’s always tried to make sure that her members were comfortable, that her manager was okay, but you being an outsider only have been with them for a short amount of time, Karina had always made sure that everyone was alright, she’s a great leader.
Lunch went smoothly, you and the managers had some good laughs, the members were having a good time, but alas all things must come to an end. The shopping is done, lunch is over, now you’re walking the girls and managers back to the hotel.
You bid your farewells, but Karina comes running back to you before you have the chance to leave the premises. “Oppa, I have a favour to ask you.” Karina's demeanour is off, hands behind her back, one foot balance on her toes, her eyes facing the ground, avoiding your gaze. “What is it, Karina?” You were curious, it’s not everyday you have a beautiful woman in front of you acting like a fool.
“I... Uh… Have this friend who’s coming to the city later tonight… I was hoping you could tour her around, like you did with us?”
“Oh… What could I have hoped for?”
“Sure, what time should I meet her?” You accepted without an issue, you wanted to be a good guy, you just spent a few days with the group and why should you decline? It’s not like you have a date to attend to.
“Yay! Thank you oppa, here’s her number, meet her here at 8pm!” Karina hands you a paper with an unusual phone number, not an area code you’re familiar with but you took in anyways. “Thank you oppa.” Karina bowed in respect before running back inside the hotel.
You would be a little disappointed, but this is a favour.
~~~~~
You make it back to the hotel at the time Karina told you to be there by, you texted the phone number that you arrived in the front. Good thing Aeri took you to go shopping for new clothes, you must dress up a little for the New York nightlife.
You: Hey, I’m in front of the lobby.
Unknown: I’ll be right there!
That reply came quickly, you were on a look out for someone outside the hotel, but the results would surprise you.
“Good evening oppa.”
You spin around to Karina, a different outfit from this afternoon. Instead of a white sweater and a long skirt, the Aespa leader is changed into a thin back long sleeve, mesh-like material being near fully see-through, a black bandeau underneath, complimenting her large bust and curves, paired with blue jeans and to finish with black boots.
“K-Karina?!”
Shocked to see the leader alone, no supervision, not even anyone watching from the entrance. “I hope you don’t mind me taking off my extensions, I felt like the short hair for our date.” Karina plays with her hair then smiles at you, she has somewhat of a gummy smile.
“Wait, I’m sorry, our date?” You were extremely caught off guard, Karina? Aespa’s leader? A kpop idol? A date? With you? “You could have better options than this old man.” The idol slowly walked towards you, grabbing your hand with both of hers, it’s now you really took the time to see, Karina has baby hands. “Why not? You treated us well, made sure we were comfortable, this is the least I could do… And I want to get to know you more.”
“But I live here, you need to go back to South Korea soon.” The idol was only giggling, she probably has already thought about it, otherwise you wouldn’t think she would go through the trouble of setting up a date with you. “We can cross that bridge when we get to it. There is a lot of tour guides in South Korea that would like a bilingual tour guide.”
With Karina’s amazing smile looking at you the way it is, how could you deny her?
“Okay Karina.”
“Please, my name is Yu Jimin.”
You smile and chuckle.
“Okay Jimin, what would you like to do tonight?”
She pulled away one hand, but still held yours with one. “Hmmm…” Her facial expression turned to a pout, playfully laying a finger on her chin, exaggerating the fact she’s thinking. “How about we go to a bar, get some wings and maybe watch a basketball game if there’s any?” Your jaw was left open, how could she have known?
“Ningning?”
“Mhmm.” With a cute nod.
How would you survive spending the night with Kar- Jimin?
The two of you walked off in a direction where you heard was a good restaurant that had some of the best wings and flavours, Jimin couldn’t let go of your hand, she was basically latched on your arm at this point.
“Oppa, are the New York Knicks any good?”
“Oh man… Don’t get me started…”
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k-eilonwy · 20 days ago
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decided to get back to my roots for a bit and tackle redesigns of my all-time favourite mlp G3 dream team : 3 these five have shaped my early 2010s and helped me to grow both as an artist and storyteller (i started writing silly little fanfics and my own take on the then-hypothetical G5 based on G3 and these five characters in particular), so they have, and always will have my entire heart.
i came up my own kind of au version of G3 and here are some of my small headcanons for each character!!
Rainbow Dash:
her parents are Parasol (G1 pony) and Barnacle (G1).
she is the oldest (and the tallest!) of the five.
she is a major fashionista and diva, but with a hint of adventurousness and even ferocity behind those eyes. Dash is a fan of all things beautiful, be it bright colours, grand celebrations, and more down-to-earth values.
naturally, her craft is related to rainbows - she draws them with the special paint she makes herself, and it's a very rare knowledge among the Ponyville citizens (Unicornia's rainbow-creating magic works on the same basis as Dash's paint, she just makes it without the unicornian magic involved).
oftentimes she is the voice of reason for her friends.
in her free time she designs clothing in collaboration with Sew-and-So and funds/runs fashion shows.
isn't the biggest fan of sweets (thinks it spoils her figure and coat).
absolutely adores rainy weather (cause rainbows).
is a sap for romance and cheep romantic novels.
Spike:
was born in a dragon tribe living far from pony societies.
was born wingless and with water-based powers, while most dragons breathed fire and had wings, so he's an oddball amongst the common dragons.
the dragons were supposed to work with pony royalty/leaders and protect them. The way the dragons chose did it was passing a test of obtaining a very rare flower only meant to be gifted to the royalty - the Royal Everbloom, a flower which was near impossible to maintain/grow but could bloom for forever.
Spike failed to pass his test of safely delivering the Royal Everbloom back to the tribe, failing to protect the flower from a bad storm so it withered under hard rain. However, Wysteria noticed Spike struggling to keep the flower safe just outside her cottage and brought them both inside - nursing the poor dragon and the flower back to health. It suddenly bloomed under her care, so by the old tradition, it meant that Wysteria belonged to royalty.
cue the events of Princess Promenade pretty much the same as they went down in the original as Spike played the role of mentor and royal advisor to Wysteria. She still rejected the title in the end, proclaiming that Ponyville didn't need royalty to govern over them and that she was no more special than any other.
Spike is humbled (and charmed) by her worldview and decides that he rather enjoys the simple life of local ponies - besides, he has grown deeply devoted to Wysteria and doesn't want their friendship to end, so he parts with his tribe and lives with the purple gardener in her little cottage.
he greatly helps Wystie with gardening - his water-breathing powers come in handy while working with plants! He finds that even if he doesn't breathe fire like "normal" dragons, he still can make his abilities work in other fields.
he is often the brains of the group - his exotic dragonic upbringing is a great contrast to the ponies' more down-to-earth worldviews.
is a vegetarian (idk if all dragons in this universe are or it's just him, but-).
is a big fan of literature of all kinds, especially poetry.
generally is a huge nerd and is prone to rambling about his favourite subjects. Not the most outgoing person, more of an introvert, especially in contrast to most ponies (that's why they match their energies with Wysteria so well).
absolutely adores Wysteria, they are something of platonic soulmates/life-partners. Can be very protective of her, even though he is usually non-threatening/pretty chill (he is her personal dragon guardian!)
Wysteria:
her parents are Blossom (G1) and Salty (G1).
Petal Blossom (G2) is her maternal older cousin.
Wysteria took to gardening and flower arrangement since early years from her mother. Participated in a lot of local fair gardening competitions through her fillyhood and won the majority of them (the trophies are kept at her parents’ house). 
moved out from her parents’ house once she had managed to save up enough money to purchase a small but neat cottage at the edge of the woods; it is located near Ponyville, but quite far from its centre. Pinkie, Minty and Dash like to visit their bestie and her dragon friend on weekends and each time together they plan some really fun activities. 
during spring and summer seasons, Wysteria lives off selling flowers and bouquets at Ponyville’s biggest market. Once autumn hits however, she and Spike stay at one of their three closest friends’, Pinkie, Minty or Dash’s, house until next spring - each year they stay at a different pony’s house. Wysteria and Spike help out with chores and share household duties during their stays, but even regardless of that their friends are simply happy to let the two live with them.  
Wysteria is socially anxious and quite solitary, content with keeping a limited circle of friends to spend time with. Akin to Snufkin she requires a lot of “alone” time away from others, that’s why she likes living so far from the town. However she is very dependable and very very kind, so a lot of ponies confide in her.
hates. weeds. so. much.
often feeds stray and forest animals coming to her cottage. Is fond of bunnies and birds the most.
Pinkie Pie:
her parents are Cotton Candy Snr. (G1) and Slugger (G1). Is a twin sister to Cotton Candy Jr (G3).
Pinkie runs a gift shop along with Minty, her bestie since fillyhood and a life-partner.
works as a party planner as her second job - generally just love celebrations and organising events.
she is a natural leader and is able to make even opposing groups come and work together. Sociable and easy-going, pretty chill to be around.
isn't easily scared and usually doesn't believe things she can't see with her own eyes or try out.
has a MAJOR sweet-tooth: her sister runs an ice-cream cafe, so there's that.
has a "supernatural" ability to come up with a solution to almost anything, - using Pinkie's squink (basically just squeezing her eyes tight and thinking long enough).
is drawn to photography and films.
Minty:
her parents are Minty Snr. (G1) and Steamer (G1). Ice Crystal (G1) is her maternal uncle.
everyone's favourite disaster-monger.
works in a gift shop alongside Pinkie. Generally can't function well without her supervision lol.
Clutzy and socially anxious, but in a different way than Wysteria, Minty is obsessive, hyperactive and makes up for her awkwardness with her pony-pleasing attitude. Enjoys helping others out, it makes her feel important.
can't sit still for long period of time, needs an outlet for her excessive energy.
collects SOCKS.
winter is her favourite season; it reminds her of warmth and companionship of her friends huddled close by the fireplace. Exchanging gifts and stories. Making others smile.
is surprisingly good at checkers.
is claustrophobic, hates being limited.
doesn't enjoy reading that much, but rather likes picture-book illustrations.
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silverynight · 4 months ago
Text
Welcome home
Chapter 1 (of 5)
It's been a year since Izuku reconnected with his childhood friend, now pro hero, Bakugo Katsuki.
He has changed a lot... in a good way. When he found out Izuku got a job at the same agency he works for, he went straight to the analytics department to see him and talk to him.
Izuku had to ask for a break and meet Katsuki outside; he was nervous then, but he realized quickly he didn't have to. All the pro hero wanted was to apologize for his past behavior.
They started over after that and now they're really good friends and Izuku is very happy because of it.
There's a lot of things in his life that have improved since he got that job, actually.
He gets to meet a lot of pro heroes, yes, most of them are kind enough to go to his department and see him in person rather than only communicate with him via text or earpiece.
Aizawa promoted him after a couple of months and now Izuku handles most to the mission and investigations; he chooses quickly which pro hero (based on their quirk, availability and experience) is the best to deal with the situation at hand.
He really likes his job because even though he doesn't do the hero work directly, he gets to help the pro heroes in a way.
He also hangs out with Katsuki a lot; he met his friends the first week after the apology and went to his apartment for the first time fifteen days after that.
Ashido says that it's weird for "Blasty" (as she calls Katsuki) to spend so much time with him right after meeting him again, although she has this smirk on her face whenever she says it that makes Izuku flustered for some reason.
However, Izuku thinks it's perfectly normal; whenever they're together, it feels right, like they never stopped seeing each other and have been good friends for years, ever since they were kids.
"It's still weird," Kaminari says when Katsuki goes to the cafeteria counter to get Izuku a coffee and a bagel. "It took us a year to get invited to his apartment."
The way his friends (because Izuku considers them his friends now) look at him make him feel flustered, but he doesn't do anything to hide the blush on his cheeks like he used to do in high-school whenever he was embarrassed.
Now he just hopes it goes away quickly.
"Well, that was years ago," Izuku says, trying to dismiss it. Katsuki told him he bought his fancy apartment two years after he started working as a professional hero. "Kacchan has changed."
Izuku got really shocked when he found out he owned that apartment, but he knows the pro heroes get very well paid, especially when they get brand deals. It also helps that Katsuki is the number one hero currently, although pro hero Shoto is right behind him.
"He doesn't trust most people," Kirishima points out, like he's trying to tell him something. Then his expression turns into an amused one as he sees Katsuki approaching them again. "And he's certainly not the type to bring anyone food."
"Kacchan's just being nice!" Izuku says as the three pro heroes look back at him like he's crazy. Yes, Katsuki is not that nice on a regular basis, but that doesn't mean he hasn't improved. "I told him my ankle hurts a bit because I rescued a cat and fell right after I managed to get him down from a tree."
Fortunately, the mention of the cat makes them focus on that instead, and suddenly Izuku finds himself showing them pictures of it.
Katsuki sits right next to him, and Izuku sighs in delight after taking the first bite of his bagel.
"How much?" He asks after a while.
"I don't know," Katsuki makes a dismissive gesture with his hand. "I paid for your stuff and mine together."
"But surely they gave you a receipt–"
"No. Just drink your damn coffee, nerd!"
"Thank you, Kacchan," Izuku says, trying not to roll his eyes; sometimes Katsuki does stuff like that, he seems determined to pay for every little thing Izuku wants when they go out together.
"Also, I'm going to drive you to your apartment..."
"There's no need–"
"You're hurt," Katsuki argues and the green haired man knows that expression really well; there's nothing that can change his mind now, no matter what Izuku says, the pro hero will take him home no matter what.
Izuku realizes right then that it's the first time Katsuki sees the place where he lives; they always go to Dynamight's apartment or to a coffee shop, a restaurant or somewhere else when they hang out.
"Please, tell me you're joking," Katsuki hisses as he parks his expensive car right outside Izuku's building, the one that looks like it's been sitting there for hundreds of years and is about to collapse under its own weight.
Or maybe that's not why the pro hero is frowning that much; his red eyes are scanning the area like the worst kind of villain is about to pop up from the dark alley next to Izuku's building.
"It's not that bad," he assures his friend. They have tried to rob him only once, maybe twice... but he survived!
Well, maybe he shouldn't say that out loud.
"Shit!" Katsuki hisses. "I thought they paid you well! What the hell?"
"They do!" Izuku assures him. "But, uhh... you see... I'm kinda tired of paying rent so I've been saving some money to buy my own place somewhere else. However, if I want it to happen soon, I need to stay here for a while."
"I'll buy you a new apartment."
Izuku chuckles, but his smile falls when he realizes Katsuki is not joking at all.
"I appreciate the offer, but there's no need, Kacchan," he smiles.
Katsuki is still grabbing the steering wheel like he's very tempted to drive away from there. His knuckles are slightly white, perhaps because the grip of the wheel has tightened considerably.
"Izuku, this is not a safe place." He's deadly serious, and by the tone in his voice, it seems like he's about to snap, but he's trying to control himself.
"I can take care of myself," he hears himself saying, slightly irritated. Katsuki is not the only stubborn person in that car.
"Alright..." Katsuki doesn't deny it, but Izuku can tell that he doesn't like the situation at all. "If you want to save for your new apartment, perhaps you can live with me in the meantime. You'll save even more money because you won't have to pay rent anymore."
Izuku's face turns slightly pink at the thought of living with Katsuki. A memory returns to him in that moment; when they were kids, they had promised each other they would live together and work in the same agency as a hero duo.
But that was before Izuku found out he was quirkless.
A long time ago.
"Kacchan, I really appreciate what you're trying to do, but I can't accept–"
"Please."
He's sure the pro hero has seen a lot of awful things during all those years working as Dynamight; Izuku has access to a lot of cases, and even though the information is sometimes haunting, he knows there's nothing compared to seeing it happening or arriving at the crime scene.
However, this time Katsuki is overreacting. Sure, the place is not the safest one, but it's not like there's a murder every single day.
Besides, his neighbors are very good people.
"I'll think about it," he finally says, mostly to reassure him.
However, it doesn't work. Katsuki keeps looking around, growing tense.
"You should stay with me tonight. I'll make katsudon if you do."
The offer is really tempting, but Izuku knows it's because Katsuki is imagining horrible things happening to him in that place. Things that are not real.
"I'll be fine."
"Then I'll stay with you."
The fact that he's almost begging makes Izuku's heart beat in a funny way inside his chest. Surely, they are friends now, but it seems Izuku really had no idea how much Katsuki cared about him.
Until now.
"My apartment is tiny and I don't have an extra futon–"
"I can sleep on the floor."
"Kacchan..." Izuku leans closer, placing a hand on his broad shoulder. "Listen, take a deep breath. Nothing is going to happen to me, I promise. I have lived here for over two years now. I know this place, and I know how to take care of myself."
Katsuki nods as he relaxes... a bit.
"Alright, but I won't go until you enter that building... no, I won't leave until you text me you're inside your apartment."
Fine. He can agree to that.
"Okay, Kacchan."
***
Two days. It's been two days since Katsuki found out where Izuku lived and whenever he's not with him, he calls him. A couple of times a day.
It's okay, at least he hasn't "kidnapped" Izuku and taken him to his apartment, even though he clearly wants to.
"Hi, Kacchan. Yes, I'm in the office and nothing has happened to me," he mumbles joyfully as he keeps filling a couple of reports for Endeavor's agency.
"I call because I somehow got used to your nerdy voice, and now I miss it constantly," Katsuki grumbles. There's a weird noise coming from his side that makes Izuku frown for a moment.
"Sure, Kacchan," he rolls his eyes because he knows the pro hero can't see him. Maybe he just imagined it. "I suppose you're on patrol so before you–what was that?"
"Shit!"
There's an explosion on his side. This time Izuku is sure of it.
At first, he gets worried as he immediately goes to the database, and then the status section until he finds Dynamight's profile.
"Are you okay?"
"I got everything under control," Katsuki assures him and even though he's clearly using his quirk, Izuku can tell he's being honest.
Then, he gets irritated. Especially when he reads the status and remembers the important mission Izuku assigned to him started today.
"Did you call me during a mission?"
"Izuku, I'm clearly busy here..."
"Alright, I'll end the call."
"No, wait! Is Hatsume there yet?"
Just as Katsuki says it, the head of the support department rushes into Izuku's cubicle.
"Hello, pretty!"
"Hi, Hatsume!" Izuku perks up, smiling at her; she's always a mess, but it suits her somehow.
"Great," Katsuki sounds relived.
"Wait, how did you know–"
"I'm sorry, Izuku, I have to go. I'll pick you up in a couple of hours, alright? Don't get out of the office!"
Katsuki ends the call before Izuku has the opportunity to say anything at all.
He's so distracted arranging everything for the pro hero from Endeavor's agency who'll be coming to work on a case with them and, at the same time, thinking about what he's going to say to Katsuki when he sees him again that he doesn't realize Hatsume is in his personal space until he hears a click.
Suddenly, there's a very beautiful golden chain around his neck, it's not exactly tight, but not as loose as other necklaces he's seen.
It's honestly beautiful, especially with that black X in the middle covered in orange and green gemstones.
Izuku is sure Hatsume made a mistake; if he had to guess, he'd say it looks like a fancy necklace that's probably part of Dynamight's new merch collection or something.
"Uhh... Hatsume?"
She has a tablet in her hands and is typing something so fast it makes Izuku feel a little envious; his job would be slightly easier if he could type that fast.
"I sent an email," she says, without looking up.
A little bit confused, but intrigued nonetheless, Izuku takes out his phone again and opens his mailbox.
It has the agency logo, so Izuku supposes that's something official and relaxes a bit.
He starts reading and then...
"A tracker?"
She chuckles.
"Don't worry, it doesn't activate unless you're in danger. This is for your safety. The standard ones send an alarm to the agency so one of our pro heroes can go and rescue you or help you in case you need it."
Izuku has read about these in a couple of files, although he doesn't know much about them. The ones he looked at seemed completely different from his.
Besides, they were just for very important people... politicians, idols, all kinds of celebrities and scientists if their lives were considered to be in imminent danger.
Also, for obvious reasons, pro heroes' families.
But Izuku was neither of those. He decides to ask Hatsume, but something else makes him worry.
"This looks really expensive."
"You bet!"
"But–"
"It's already paid for, obviously," she says, typing something before the necklace makes a noise and a green light appears in the middle of the X, although it vanishes quickly.
So it's from the agency? Maybe. Although Izuku knows he's not that important to be given something like that. Sure, he handles a lot of information, but it stays in the computer he uses to work on in the office. Besides, neither he nor his coworkers wear uniforms... they aren't given anything that can be linked to the agency for the same reason.
They're not usually the villains' targets. Izuku has never seen a report that mentions an office worker being in danger.
But he admits he's not an expert in that area, perhaps they give something like this to everyone who works there.
"Why Dynamight's logo?"
Hatsume looks at him before chuckling.
"You're funny, Midoriya."
Getting slightly frustrated, Izuku tries again with another question.
"How can I take it off?"
Even though she's the one with crooked goggles on her head and stains of grease all over her face, she looks at him like he's crazy.
"You're not supposed to take it off, ever. It'd defeat its purpose."
"I mean... to take a shower?"
"Oh! Don't worry, it's waterproof!"
At least he finally got a little bit more information about the necklace.
"Uhh..."
"Sorry, I'd love to stay and chat with you, but I have a lot of work to do and I'm sure you do too!" Hatsume says, already waving him goodbye, and looking down at her tablet at the same time.
Izuku sighs and looks down at the device around his neck. He likes the Dynamight symbol, even though he has no idea why she picked that one specifically.
He knows these have to be a secret; the general public can't know about them, so perhaps making it look like expensive merch was her goal?
Yeah, that's probably it.
And she chose Katsuki because it's not a secret Izuku is good friends with him so him wearing his merch makes sense.
He nods to himself, mostly because he doesn't have time to look for more information on that.
He still has to tell Aizawa that Endeavor's office hasn't sent the name of the pro hero who's coming in a few days.
They have to work with them in that particular case because even though they started the investigation, the villain has moved to the zone assigned to the pro heroes who work at Endeavor's.
It'll probably be fine.
***
Next--->
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redbirdandbluebird23 · 24 days ago
Text
Gay's Still the Word
Written for @dc-aspec-week 2024
Masterlist
Jason couldn’t quite stop the hitch in his breath as Dick buried a hand in his hair and used the grip to tip his head back so he could deepen the kiss. Jason reacted in kind and slipped the hand that had been on the back of Dick’s neck up into his hair as he tightened the arm he had around the other man’s back. Dick shifted some of his weight onto his other forearm, so he wasn’t completely crushing Jason into the bed, without breaking the kiss. 
But Jason couldn’t help but tense up as Dick ground his hips against Jason’s thigh. 
Dick pulled back, breathing slightly faster than normal through his swollen lips. “Not tonight?”
“Not tonight.” Jason echoed. “Sorry.”
Dick just smiled softly as he readjusted how he was lying over Jason so his hips weren’t touching him anymore. “I thought I’d already told you to stop apologising, Jay.”
Jason shrugged as Dick gently nuzzled their heads together. 
“I’m happy just doing this, or cuddling up and watching a movie or reading, little wing.” Dick said before pressing a kiss to the side of Jason’s mouth. 
Jason lent into him. “I know, it’s just…”
“I know.” Dick said quietly. 
They’d had a lot of conversations over the past eight months about sex and what it meant to them both. It took a while, but Jason was eventually in a position that he could and wanted to try. Dick was exactly as Jason thought he would be; sweet and gentle and more than willing to take charge. Jason enjoyed it, and they’d started having sex on a semi-frequent basis. But Jason had to be in the right headspace for it and he was well aware that their sexlife was… lacking compared to most normal couples. Though, as Dick kept reminding him whenever he used that word, there was really no such thing as normal . 
“Hey.” Dick said, carding a careful hand through his curls to pull his attention back to him. “I can practically hear you thinking, care to share with the class?”
“I think you already know what I’m thinking about.” Jason said with a lopsided smile as he bumped his nose against Dick’s. 
Dick hummed. “You need another reminder about how perfectly happy I am with our relationship?”
Jason shook his head. “No, I know. It’s just…”
“Brains are weird.” Dick smiled. 
“Brains are weird.” Jason agreed, matching his smile. 
“Soooo, have you decided on which of the options you want to choose for the rest of the night?” Dick asked, still smiling. 
“What were the options again?”
“We can carry on making out, or we can have a cuddle night with books or a movie?”
Jason debated each one before answering. “ Or , we could watch a boring movie that inevitably ends up with us making out anyway.”
Dick laughed. “That’s definitely something I’m onboard with.”
Read on Ao3
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heartsoji · 2 years ago
Text
falling in love with your roommate, suna rintaro
roommates to lovers
a/n: i haven't read the manga so i don't rly know anything abt rin's fam situation - sorry if any info is incorrect loll also this is more of like a college au?? idk if rin went to college but here it is
a/n pt. 2: i kinda switch between using rin and suna sorry
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"rintaro!"
"what?"
"aren't you tired of living in my home, still? you're 21! i'm sure all of your friends have moved out already, right? most of them probably moved out at 18, but you haven't budged an inch!" mrs. suna scolded.
"yeah, yeah, pipe down, mom. i'll move out soon, i promise."
"no! it was fine that you stayed home for your freshman year of college, and i thought that you'd start being independent for your sophomore year, but you're still completely dependent on us! you don't cook, buy groceries, clean, or do any work around here! what are you going to do when you've graduated and you don't know how to run a washing machine?"
"yes, yes, i'm sorry."
"and i was very understanding of the fact that you didn't want to move into a dorm, but aren't you tired of commuting hours away when you could just get a closer apartment?"
"mhm, mhm."
she sighed. "rintaro, you know im only saying this because i care about you. i want you to be independent and strong, you know?"
"yep. i just booked an apartment tour via online."
"and i- huh?"
yeah.
soon after he decided the apartment was in good enough condition to be living in, he rented it out and moved in.
on his moving day, he met you.
"hi! you're.. suna rintaro, right? sorry i wasn't there on your tour day. i'm your new roommate, l/n! nice to meet you." you said, a friendly smile on your features.
stoically, suna replied, "good to meet you."
at first, you and suna kinda kept to yourselves. you were polite to each other, of course, but there wasn't much talking, only coexisting.
that is, until you discovered his grocery bills.
"$18... you've been surviving on $18?!" you looked at him in shock.
"yeah. is that weird?"
"damn right it is! what are you even buying?"
"well.. i don't know how to cook anything, so i mostly order door dash. my grocery bill is from instant ramen, chuppets, eggs, and milk."
you stare at him blankly.
"you've been eating nothing but door dash, instant ramen, candy, eggs, and milk for the past 2 months?"
"yeah."
this guy.
he just stands there awkwardly at you laugh at him.
from then on, you two become closer.
you taught him basic recipes to make using groceries you taught him to buy, (imagine his shock when his bill came out to be like $60.. and you were like "bro that's normal") you taught him how to use a washing machine, ("oh, so you put the detergent in this compartment..") etc. just basic household chores, but he was so impressed.
eventually, you two stopped being friendly roommates and just became friends.
he was a good listener. you'd rant to him about your problems, no matter how insignificant, and he'd listen to you carefully, and you never felt like your problems were stupid whenever you talked to him.
you two started hanging out a lot. you'd study together at cafes, go to amusement parks on weekends, and just chill at home together.
and as much as you hated to admit it, you had started developing feelings for your roomie.
i mean, how could you not? he was tall, handsome, kind, funny, cheeky, and it certainly helped that you got to see him all tired in the mornings.
you didn't really know if he felt the same way, but if he did, he was a real bitch, because at some point, your relationship became kind of flirty, and he'd give you butterflies on a daily basis.
you two would watch scary movies and he'd let you cling to him, giving your terrified features a teasey smile every now and then.
he'd walk around the apartment with his toned abs out, and his sweats dangerously low on his hips.
when you guys went on walks, he'd give you his hoodie if it got cold.
whenever you'd go on long rants, he'd just stare at your face with love in his eyes. "and then i-what is it, rin?" "nothing, pretty."
like sir you can't just do that. you're too handsome to do that without risk of heart explosion.
then, one day, unexpectedly, he popped the question.
you two were watching a cheesy romcom for the 5th time, sharing a pot of instant ramen, and at the same moment that the male lead said to the female lead, "i like you. a lot. i have for a while now," rin did too.
it wasn't grand.
it wasn't loud.
it wasn't annoying.
you weren't even sure if he meant it.
but when you saw him looking at you, nervous, awaiting a response, you knew he did.
so, at the same time the female lead said, "me too," you did too.
then, with the cheesy romantic music playing in the back, you guys gave each other cheesy smiles, and he planted a cheesy peck on your cheek.
it was subtle.
it was sweet.
it was cheesy.
it was familiar.
it was uncharacteristically romantic and sentimental.
it was just like how your future relationship with your roomie and best friend, suna rintaro, was going to be.
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velvetlilith777 · 1 month ago
Text
Cedar Smoke
Sebastian x Reader
Author's Note: Another practice drabble! This one was loosely inspired by a plot post I saw on tik tok that was so cute it stayed in my head rent free. Also wrote this one gender neutral and I think I did pretty okay if that's chill to say.
Synopsis: Neither you or Sebastian sleep well, so you decide to spend the nights hanging out together since there's nothing better to do. It's just a way to kill time, right?
CW: Fluff mostly!!! They aren't in a relationship. Swearing bc it's a Seb fic so of course there is. Mentions and descriptions of anxiety and mental health problems. Oh also cigarettes because - Sebastian <3
Word Count: 2k
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Tick. Tick. Tick.
It was enough to drive a person mad. An incessant reminder of every second you weren't resting.
You were tired, of course you were. Operating a successful farm and carrying the needs of a small community on your back wasn't for the weak. Every part of your body and mind ached for rest at the end of every day.
Each night followed the same routine: get home, bond with your dog, eat dinner, shower and head to bed. At the end of it, you always felt like you'd be able to fall asleep as soon as your head hit the pillow. However, when your head would finally lay and you'd begin to drift off, the last second before the sweet release of your dreams was met with what felt like a hammer to your chest. Knocking the wind out of you, you'd shoot upright upon being greeted by your old friend, anxiety. It wasn't the normal kind you dealt with on a daily basis, manageable with medication and some methods Harvey had taken the time to teach you. It was much worse and much heavier in your body. You weren't sure what the root cause was, just that it had been happening every night for months now matter what you changed or how you tried to cope.
You'd been lying there for hours, the clock finally hitting your last nerve. Sighing, you rolled over in search of your phone, finding it shoved under your pillow from when you gave up on a video or a game helping you calm down. The screen illuminated far too bright as you turned it on. Noticing you had a text notification from 20 minutes ago, you already knew who was trying to reach you at such an hour.
Seb: sleeping?
Of course he wasn't either. Though he would never fully share what was on his mind, you knew similar circumstances kept him awake well past most people too.
nope 🙃
Seb: same. wanna chill again?
yeah, you can come over here if you want
Seb: cool, be there soon
Standing up from your bed, you started fumbling around in the dark looking for something to change into instead of your pajama shirt. Settling on a sweatshirt, you threw it on and left your pajama pants for your bottoms before remembering that everything would've been easier if you'd just turned a light on. You really weren't sure how you were able to get about your day anymore with the effects of sleep deprivation in full swing.
The first time the two of you had spent the night in each other's company was accompanied by a symphony of frogs surrounding the lake by his house. The familiar pang of nighttime anxiety pushing you to search for any solution, you'd taken a walk under the stars to try and work through the tightness in your chest when you stumbled upon him smoking in search of similar relief. Since that night when you'd both realized you had similar luck around sleep, spending the dark hours together had become common, happening most nights of the week.
Padding out to your living room, you turned a single lamp on and plopped down on your couch while you waited for Sebastian to arrive. You began to scroll through instagram to pass the time, only making it through a handful of posts before you heard a knock on your door.
"It's open!" A half shout left your throat.
Creaks filled your ears as the programmer swung the door open letting himself in. A smile crept across his lips as a greeting.
"Hey, are you cold?" His nose was covered in a flush of red, reflecting the chill beginning to settle in for the upcoming season.
"Always. We can start a fire?" Your head tilted towards the stone fireplace his mother had carefully installed in your home during your last renovation.
"Thank god, it's fucking freezing out there" he let out a low chuckle while shutting the cabin door.
"I can make us some coffee too? Decaf, though, unless you want to commit to this whole 'awake when we shouldn't be' thing?" You poked, hopping up and striding towards the mug cabinet in your kitchen.
Sebastian glanced up from the fireplace where he'd already achieved a successful kindle over to where you had sat two of your favorite mugs. "Decaf is fine, but only because we should be sleeping. Don't give me that shit during the day."
The two of you locked eyes, the emo giving you a snarky side smile.
"I wouldn't dream of it."
With your mugs full of your shared favorite beverage, you returned to your spot on the sofa and pulled out the giant, chunky blanket Emily had knit for you last Feast of the Winter Star. Sebastian followed not long after, the fireplace crackling with the sounds of warmth.
"What's the vibe for tonight?" Your usual cheery tone coated your words even at this hour.
"Mmhm, we could start The Witcher over again? It's been awhile." Fabric slid across your legs as he tugged the blanket lightly to join you in bundling up.
"I'll never say no long-haired Henry Cavill!"
Taking a swig of his coffee, he snorted a laugh and shook his head at your thirst. You met his gaze with a giggle, reaching for the remote on the table beside him. The familiar dum dum of the Netflix intro sound filled your living room as you flipped on the series you'd rewatched a dozen times now.
Feeling a familiar cramp start up in your thighs from the hours of labor you put into your work each week, you decided you hadn't picked the most comfortable position to rest in having sat cross legged on the couch. Sebastian caught you wincing out of the corner of his eye as you adjusted your legs for any alleviation from how taught your muscles had become.
"You okay?" It came out almost a whisper, so quiet you weren't sure if he meant to ask at all.
"Hmm? Oh, yeah. Just sore from the farm. Sitting like this isn't helping either" a light laugh followed your words as you attempted to deflect from how unpleasant your pain had actually become.
He studied your face for a moment, your eyebrows had begun to furrow at the burn throughout your body while you continued to squirm in search of comfort. How you had overworked yourself to this point of exhaustion and still were wide awake with him he both did and did not understand. You should be passed out by now, but mental health was a bitch that took no prisoners, he knew that well.
"Would it help if you laid down?"
Shaking your head while giving him a tired smile, you returned "no, I can't watch the show from my room and I can't sleep either, remember?"
"No, on me" the emo blurted out so quickly he didn't realize how timid he should've been. "I meant, would it help if you laid on me. Out here."
Your mouth parted in shock briefly before finding the wit to respond. "Oh no, I really wouldn't want to do that to you I'll be f-"
"I don't mind. Promise" his face was straight aside from the worry lines on his forehead, giving away his genuine concern for you as he cut you off.
"Here." He gently helped you stand up before positioning himself horizontally on the cushions, resting his head on the arm. Once he had settled, his hand tapped against his chest beckoning you to him.
"Okay, fine, but this is better for your neck," you sighed a small laugh before tossing a throw pillow at his face. As you moved to crawl on top of him, he adjusted the pillow behind his head and moved to bring the blanket back over the both of you.
Stretching out, it was as if your body began to melt into his. Scent overwhelmed you in the best way. The air smelt of cedar from the fire, while the smell of tobacco smoke lingered on his hoodie. You weren't sure what cologne he wore, but something spicy and warm enveloped your head. Beams of light danced on the walls as the fire flickered around. Moment by moment, the ache in your chest grew lighter.
Geralt and Stregobor had just begun speaking in the illusion of the mage's tower when your eyes started to flutter shut. Sebastian's heartbeat thumping in your ear with the comfort of your favorite show in the other was enough to finish lulling you off with the anxiety now at bay. Once you allowed yourself to surrender to the exhaustion that was now your biggest worry, waking you up wouldn't be possible until morning.
"Want to watch the next one?" Sebastian quizzed as episode one came to a close.
Silence. Not even a twinge of movement left your body. He pushed your hair out of your face while he peered down at you in hopes of getting your attention. Greeted with the most peaceful he'd seen your face in months, the reality of the situation washed over him. You actually fell asleep. The corners of his mouth crept upward, relief brought to his mind that one of you was able to rest after all.
Seb pressed play on the next episode. Checking the time, he decided he'd put you to bed after this one and head home. His thumb mindlessly rubbed circles on your back and in your hair. Tension grew on the tv, but he found himself yawning when he should've been paying the most attention. Shit. He was about to fall asleep too. Realizing he wouldn't be able to make it through the rest of the hour, a wave of guilt hit him - he wanted to stay. Your body felt like the kindest weighted blanket on his own. The smells of amber and vanilla from your shampoo had been filling his nose as he played with your hair. His brain was quiet, and he couldn't remember the last time it was.
No. It would be wrong to overstay his welcome just because both of you had found peace in this moment. You weren't awake and able to ask him to stay and he wouldn't let himself cross any unspoken boundaries you may have had.
His elbows found the bottom cushions. He began to push both of you up in an effort to carry you to bed. As he slowly started moving, so did your head. Your arms wrapped around little tighter around his back. He froze, hearing you grumble something incoherent while your eyebrows furrowed together. Fuck. He wasn't sure how to get out from under you and keep you asleep.
Pulling an arm out from under him, he began to stroke your hair again.
"Hey, I need to get you to bed" he cooed.
You lightly shook your head, your brows still knit together. You muttered a small no along with it, but it was quiet enough to leave room for doubt.
He wasn't sure what to do. If he kept going, you were bound to wake up fully. You weren't actually awake enough to make a sound decision, but the small gestures you did manage made it seem like you wanted him to stay right there and stop moving. It went against everything in his moral code to stay without welcome, and he didn't want to put your friendship at risk. But god, his brain was calm and you were so comforting.
"Fuck it" he whispered to himself. If this was the wrong decision, he would gladly pay the price in the morning. His head met the pillow you'd given him as he wrapped his arms back around you. He swore he saw a smile tug at the corners of your lips in response. Hitting play on the show again, he let the quiet of his mind and the serenity of the moment soothe him away.
For the first time in years, he got a full night's worth of rest in your company.
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sysmedsaresexist · 1 month ago
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Something about that last post just really fucking irked me.
Normalize asking questions about your experiences and things you're not clear on
Yesterday, I had to ask some friends a question.
Any uterus having people that have had the electro therapy on their back-- very specific but Google isn't helping
Can the electricity on the lower back cause a period???
Wow, fucking cringe, what a faker, doesn't even know how her own uterus works, how do you make it this far in life and not know this stuff, FAKE UTERUS
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I was so embarrassed to ask. I was scared, too.
And yet, I got an answer that I hadn't been able to find on my own.
Yes, it can happen.
Nice!
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Well, first off, A, thank God I'm not hurt or dying, that's a relief. B, no one laughed. C, this shit isn't common knowledge.
Even if you think it's obvious, it's not.
Things can be related in the weirdest ways, and sound totally strange at first, and they turn out to be totally normal experiences.
What is dissociation?
Doctors say it's super complicated to understand, don't worry, you're not alone.
What's the difference between normal and pathological dissociation?
Oh, boy, let's sit down for this one.
What's the difference between trauma and abuse?
Fantastic question, first, are you doing okay? Second, it's complicated.
Could these two symptoms be related?
FUCKING PROBABLY, let's talk about it.
All these overgeneralized, sweeping statements, made under the guise of "correcting misinformation," and really only trying to prove people wrong instead of educate, hurt other people with that thing.
"Your doctor is ALWAYS right," fuck you, no they're not. "They know you better than you know yourself." Ohhh, fuck no, that's dangerous. "You MUST fit the criteria 😤."
The criteria:
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WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE TRYING TO HELP?
Because you're failing spectacularly at doing any kind of good for the community you want to "help".
You lost the point so hard that your posts are now actively dangerous to people with CDDs that don't think clinically enough for you. You lost the point when you use papers that directly contradict each other over basic facts, and don't even realize it in your rush to be "right".
"Trust your doctor 100%," about any other disorder, would get you instantly canceled. Are you overweight? A POC? A woman? Trans? A combination? Well, you're fucked.
You, yourself, have probably never thought that.
So why did you say it?
Who cares what they're calling themselves, who cares whether the term is clinical, are they getting the help and support they need? Can we help clarify anything for them?
Using a people focused approach in therapy is totally fine, THIS HAS NEVER BEEN AN ISSUE. It may be a doctor-focused issue, but it's not a treatment issue. In other words, for every doctor that prefers a parts focused approach, there's one that'll use a people focused approach just fine, if that's what you want to do. Good job getting into therapy, congrats! That's what's important.
"Fictives," are so well documented that complaining about them is laughable.
Alters can take years to come forward after events, and may latch onto a character years after their actual formation. Who cares if the person can pinpoint the cause, or if they don't even care enough to try, are they getting the help and support they need???
Instead of saying, "that's impossible," let's start asking, "how can I help?"
Instead of saying, "your opinion is wrong," let's address actual misinformation. Talk to pro/endos about the trauma basis of DID. That matters a fuck ton more than whatever you're arguing about.
Instead of laughing at people who don't know things, learn to socialize and present corrections in a pleasant conversation. God forbid you're seen "being nice," to the other side.
As a very good friend said, better than I ever could, this whole "prioritizing research always over listening to others' lived experiences" is just the plural version of "academic theory on queer experiences is most important." You need both.
Many things can be true, all at the same time. Opinions are onions, they all make me cry or whatever the saying is. Single research papers should never be used generally. If you put all the papers together, anything is possible. This paper doesn't specifically talk about that thing so it's not possible.
Another paper, just a click away:
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Are people happy, healthy, and feeling supported in their life?
Fantastic, that's what matters.
This blog is open to basic questions that people are scared to ask. I would also highly recommend sending @cdd-safe-haven those kinds of questions. It's completely unrelated to syscourse, hopefully the information will help more people.
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