#this is the most excited ive ever been abt a project

[harveydentfanclub]

been getting such good feedback on my fanfiction recently. I’m so giddy. I love that thing so much i’m so proud of it.

[waywardsalt]

thinking abt linebeck’s coat. something very alluring about it for some reason. so im just gonna ramble about it here instead of in the tags for once

you can probably start a fight between the people who think it’s a coat and people who think it’s a jacket but i think it’s a coat moving on

the character designs are interesting to look at due to the proportions and art style so it is hard to imagine how long his coat would be but i think it would go down to a bit above ankles because i think that’s good. it’s a bit more dramatic a bit more impressive(?) that way and would probably lead to problems tbh

based on some of the official art i imagine that the stripe at the bottom might’ve been a late addition since it’s missing in the bit of official art most used to represent linebeck. tbh linebeck is inconsistent in very tiny ways in the official art but that’s mostly if you’re gonna be nit-picky or bored enough to notice

his coat is so good it’s simple but very recognizable and stands out among the other character designs in ph and its just. yknow good character design

its also surprisingly good for headcanons and stuff and because i mostly take a lot of canon as suggestion i have a good handful of headcanons tagged specifically onto his coat (one of which is the length of it ig)

i like to imagine that he made it himself. i’ve seen stuff where people write linebeck as being able to fix link’s tunic when it gets torn and i feel like the logical extreme of that is that he made his own coat. i think that adds a layer of. importance to it? it’s unique it’s solely linebeck’s it’s tied to him because he made it with his own hands and maybe it can represent something about him that way?

i like to imagine that in addition to the normal pockets one the outside he’s got a whole lot of little pockets on the inside of the coat, like so many pockets that he hides little trinkets or tools or things he steals in either to keep or to take back to his ship for whatever reason. some of the pockets have little flaps of whatever they’re called that can be secured in place with a small button to keep stuff in

he’s got like pencils and a compass and little notes and tiny figurines and cool rocks and feathers and all kinds of little things he thought was worth keeping around and due to that his coat is uncomfortable sometimes but if he knows for certain he’s going to be busy doing stuff he’ll empty out all of the pockets and only leave the important stuff so that it’s lighter and less uncomfortable. link finds his coat lying around at some point and is caught so badly off-guard by how surprisingly heavy it is with all of the bullshit he keeps in all of his pockets

i also imagine he values it a lot, maybe to the point of being really possessive and protective of it, not letting link touch it and if it gets torn or stained he shuts down and has to fix it before he can move on to anything else, and if he can’t fix it at the time it leave him kind of overwhelmed or upset until he can fix it. he has a lot stocked-up materials specifically for his coat to avoid a situation where he has to go for while with his coat damaged

backing away from headcanon territory, his coat is just a cool bit of character design and has just been lodged in my mind for a while. its cool and never brought up within the game (obviously) and i guess a last little closing thought is that in the cutscene where oshus teleports link above linebeck it kinda looks like his coat moves when he tries to catch link and i think that’s cool

[totallyblooktacular]

Heh, thank the old Spider Riders blog for that haha. Not a lot of folks remember the, even up here in Canada, where we dubbed it and aired it constantly; though everyone remembers the old game, which people are trying to revive. I've been revamping my own fic on AO3 for a while now, and I think I'm the only person currently writing new content for the show both there and on FFNet lol.

some of this feels a little vague so im worried im not thinking of the same things youre actually referencing, but i still definitely agree.

its a shame not very many people made their own dedicated blogs for it here (i only know like 2 ?) but theyre definitely very helpful for general access to content (official and otherwise), especially when pretty much anything of substance about it is so obscure, so i would say i do owe a lot to at least the one that was kept up here until.. i think just right after i started getting more into it myself, coincidentally enough lol

nice to be able to hear from a fic writer too though!! and that ur still kicking, as well. i havent read a majority of the ones out there, but i’ve been trying to stay pretty on top of some more recent ones being updated, so i think ive been reading it too, good job there!

[y0urnewhyperfixation2]

autistic rwby hcs

ive been seeing a lot of autistic rwby hcs so here's some of my own :)) it's very unorganized so good luck (totally was not projecting throughout all of this)

RUBY - the autistic silly ever i love her sm. we already see in the show, even the manga she's crazy obsessed with weapons so I'll take that as either her special interest or hyperfixation. i like to hc that when she was little she rambled abt weapons to mainly yang, but when she went to beacon she began talking abt them more to blake. sometimes even weiss would listen (but again, mainly blake). ALSO ruby cannot understand social cues for her LIFE (me fr). This is a common trait many autistic people share. Overall, she has trouble communicating and interacting with others in v1. In one of the first few episodes (ep 2 i think) she seems to oppose the idea of making new friends when Yang brings it up. This could hint at a small disliking for change (that she eventually learns can be a good thing). when she was younger i like to imagine that ruby wouldn't really have a sense of fear, and would often get herself into dangerous situations that yang or summer had to pull her out of. impulsive ruby perhaps. probably a clumsy little kid too. now these are just hcs so i hc ruby as a leg bouncer. i think she'd stim the most out of all of rwby and just can't keep still no matter what (maybe AuADHD ruby rose idk just an idea). I think ruby would enjoy hand-flapping when she's excited, and she's usually bouncing on her toes or swaying on her feet bc shes so restless. chewing her nails too when she's anxious. I like the idea that ruby would sit down and rock herself when she's distressed (again, totally not projecting). hc that ruby would also despise eye contact. also i think ruby would absolutely hate the texture of eggs, idk why. ruby also has meltdowns from time to time, but they increase in numbers the closer they get to v9 and worsen. ALSO ALSO ALSO ruby has trouble controlling her volume, incorrect pitch tone and speed. basically ruby is very autistic to me :D

WEISS - weiss is a trickier one tbh but I CAN SEE IT. ok so yknow that one time in v2 (or 3 idk) where weiss wont shut up abt the vytal festival and remnant world history n stuff. and that other time she starts talking to ruby abt vale's communication tower and the history behind it. i know she's probably just invested in that stuff bc shes weiss and she was also from another country (atlas), but STILL. i think she would hyperfixate on that stuff. she would like to just compile the weirdest most random facts ever abt the world around her and just start spouting them out at everybody bc it makes her so happy. this makes people think she's a know-it-all though, so :( which also leads into my hc that weiss was forced to mask her autism for a LONG time in Schnee Manor. her father thought she had some "illness" and took the ableist route (sounds familiar). i think this would lead to weiss being insecure abt her autism and having that sinking feeling of needing to be "fixed". dw, weiss begins to embrace and accept her autism the more time she spends with rwby :) also, even if weiss is pretty sarcastic herself i think she had trouble understanding sarcasm back at beacon. she got a little better at deciphering it over the next few volumes but ultimately she has trouble sussing it out sometimes. i also think that weiss would bounce her leg when she's nervous, probably twirl her pencil. her voice gets noticeably higher in the show when she's excited (like when she met with Winter), so i hc that she squeals when shes super happy. she would enjoy organizing as well. maybe she'd even use singing as a vocal stim. at first, i think weiss would've hated being touched, but then she shifts to be absolutely touch-starved. (she likes yang and ruby's hugs the best bc the deep pressure calms her) and also we all know weiss probably sucked at making friends if she ever had the opportunity. she probably also is crazy good at spotting even the smallest details and observations and stuff. ive also considered bpd weiss but y'all arent ready for that discussion

BLAKE - now i'll be honest: i haven't actually thought abt autistic blake a lot. the thought kinda just skimmed my mind im sorry ;w; but we all know blake would hyperfixate on her books. a bunch. ngl she'd probably be that one person in the fandom writing a whole lot of fanfics idk why. maybe she had a small hyperfixation for wildlife and nature when she was little. i can see her being one of those kids who enjoyed playing in the grass and collecting bugs in Menagerie. in the show (beacon arc) we do know that blake is more reserved and it takes a while for her to trust, and its probably bc of her past relationship with adam but shhhhh. BUT at the beginning of v1 we do notice that blake prefers to be alone, and this is different from the whole 'running away bc she thinks she's endangering everyone else' thing. like, at the beginning of v1 she's implied to be mildly annoyed at yang's attempts to befriend her, and she immediately walks away from ruby the first time they met. many autistic people prefer to be alone and blake may have been one of those people. again, just my hcs. i think blake would've had a slightly similar case to weiss, masking her autism around adam. (but less extreme and she stopped masking earlier than weiss.) ghira and kali probably got her diagnosed at a young age, so blake's always been aware of her autism and overall, she doesn't have a big problem with it. i think (mainly post v9) blake would sometimes purr or like yknow hum to soothe herself. i can also see her organizing and rearranging stuff. she would also run her fingers and twirl her hair a bunch. i also think blake would be the most affected from loud noises, and she owns a pair of modified cat-ear headphones for this. blake's social battery is drained pretty easily too.

YANG - haven't thought of her that much either ;w; but i think her special interest would be motorcycles or smth like that. similar to blake, maybe she was obsessed with nature at some point, like bugs and birds. i think yang would also find comfort in deep pressure. probably owns a heavy-weighted blanket (she and ruby would cuddle up underneath it when they were both overwhelmed as kids). yang probably bounces her leg too when she's nervous, maybe taps her fingers on the desk or chews her pencil. i think yang would also struggle with managing her emotions and has several methods to calm herself down. oh and yeah i think yang would've been diagnosed at a young age. she doesn't really know whats "wrong" with her at first, but comes to accept her autism pretty easily after that. when she was little i think she had a rough time making friends. she was always too loud and couldn't control her volume. taiyang has always made an effort to understand yang's autism and tries to help her in any way he can (yang gets a little annoyed by it). oh no yang is a hard one too uhhhh lemme think. yang would've loved certain sweet, flowery smells and fluffy textures as a kid, and often went to them seeking comfort. maybe scented pillow or smth. i think she would've also been those kids to carry around a comfort object like a stuffed animal everywhere (ruby does this too). probably one of those kiddos to also get hurt a lot, so summer would have to patch her up almost every day after school. yang learns to be more careful and watchful of her steps later on. i feel like yang would also be kinda picky abt what clothes and fabric she wears bc of the texture.

my brain juices are dead so those are my autistic rwby hcs. uhm yay bye help this took hours for some reason even though nobody is gonna see this lol

[angelfevr]

❤️️❤️️❤️️ :3

i have multiple wips so i'll talk abt All of them

this may get long, so.

icdwd - aka i couldn't dance with death if i tried!! its a zero escape fic mostly exploring a potential (loveless) relationship between akane and mira. its abt a lot of things i realize i never rlly touched upon in my other works?? for context im aromantic and i like. Constantly talk abt it even to my allo friends esp abt the constant amatonormativity the world likes to throw at us. specfically how ppl feel pressured to be in a relationship. why? well, various reasons: to fit in, to be seen as "more mature" (aspecs tend to experience infantilization and this doubles if ur autistic), to be seen as human, bc u feel like itll make u whole, bc u dont realize theres another option!! ive always hced my favs as aro ever since i realized it, but i always used to focus on the ace part of my identity. so i never rlly got to write a fic that explores aromanticism, aside from a fic i wrote four years ago in which leorio and kurapika hxh r in a qpr

another thing is i have ocd and for that reason, i dont like to write abt sexual topics . but in this fic, ive been sorta delving into that (its literally nothing just a fade to black that immediately goes to like the character waking up in another character's bedroom) and idk i think it shows my growth in a way?? that im willing to finally write that stuff without my ocd trying to kill me??? idk its . smth

im also having a Lot of fun writing akane and miras dynamic. i think, with me hcing them as aro (akanes aroace and miras an aro lesbian), i feel itd stand out more compared to other mirakane fanworks and interpretations . like this isnt a relationship ur supposed to root for!!! its abusive, its messy, its Uncomfortable, gory, and both women have ulterior motives. idk i like writing abt two unabashedly flawed queer women and having them navigate a relationship when one has no experience while the other has experience but whose disability prevents them from connecting w others (akane has a similar struggle), idk!! its an interesting dynamic

queerpei - i like a lot of the descriptions i wrote. im so used to writing akane that its soooo weird writing in the headspace of anyone else. but junpeis introspection is fun, like he has a mind of his own... i have this experience when writing akane (im plural so. go figure) and even when writing diana

angelus custos - so im kinda in the planning stage for this one but . Wow. im so proud of myself and how far ive come with this project, and just in general?? i used to primarily be a fic writer until 2018, when i decided to dabble in making my own characters. its always been bittersweet, bc my friends (all artists, never writers) would tell me to just make ocs instead of fanfic and my 12-14 yr old self would always be upset by that. so my characters never rlly came into their own so to speak

until This Year. ive been watching this rlly awesome youtuber named local script man. he's a screenwriter but a lot of his advice can apply to writing as well. i dont remember which video it was, but he talked abt how a characters' motivations can serve as fuel for smth deeper, like an insecurity for example. which THEN can serve as a backstory. and idky but it all clicked in my head?? character work became so much easier when i applied this to my process. i no longer had trouble w coming up w things that seemed to come naturally to most. bc i Know im good at fleshing out characters, i just needed to know how to do it for original work, even tho ive had friends praise my characters in the past

but yeah thats prob the best part of the story rn . im still having trouble w what their voices would sound like, speech patterns and the like, but thatd prob come around when i actually write the damn thing lol

BtSoyT - the idea itself has me so excited!!! ive been watching some horror movies, specifically recs from my friend @zebatverse hehe, and idk i feel like ive been getting more inspo and knowing what i'd wanna do if i were to write horror . i have several other ideas besides this in my notebook but this is one i wanna write the most. i even made a moodboard for it ^_^

[hellhoundlair]

bro you mentioned being on T and I was just wondering how that’s been for you? like in literally any aspect

btw you’d definitely don’t have to talk about this if you’re uncomfortable, don’t feel pressured at all!! <3

I'm happy to talk abt it! I love talking about it! but also this is vague so idk how to answer lol. overall my experience has been super positive! Im super happy with the changes ive had.

T has been such a "maybe one day" thing for me for years so even though im 1.5 years on t the novelty of it hasnt worn off.

its been great. im not gona say its a cure all for my dysphoria, but the change has been huge. im way more confident and sure of myself. Its been a huge difference from getting changed in the corner of the bathroom after a shower like the fucking blair witch project to avoid mirrors to looking in the mirror and going FUCK YES!!!! and even tho im 1.5 years on t im still finding out new stuff about what its doing 2 my body that i dont expect (i discovered just yesterday that im growing hair on my shoulders lol) and seeing these changes happen is the craziest and most exciting thing.

whether or not i pass or not is a different story. I dont pass and i dont know if i ever will but honestly being on t and also meeting other ppl on t makes me less concerned about it. Im happy with what ive got! Like, super happy! and i want people to hear my squeaky t voice and to see my scrappy neckbeard and that my hairline is going thru a bit of a change because those things make me happy! My only regret with t is that i didnt start it sooner

idk if i want to lay more personal details abt it out publically, but id be very happy to talk abt it in more detail and answer any questions abt it in dms to anyone whos curious!

[thetenamongstthesethrees]

TW: REFERENCE TO SH AND RELAPSE OF SH AND SUICIDE ATTEMPT

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Ok so ik ive been inactive for a *WHILE* and im srry for that but like i have a buncha things that happened these past 3 months that I NEED To share SOOOO....

First things first, the one im most excited abt: I DID MY FIRST PERFORMANCE!!! My school was doing little mermaid jr and I got Scuttle! I was really happy to get my first role and getting at least one solo, and Im just happy overall on how it went! I think I did really good on my first try! Only bad thing was that now im kinda going through my lil mermaid hyperfixation and have been looking up fics where Sebastian and Ariel kinda have a Father/Parental Figure-Daughter or Older Brother-Younger (stupid but ultimately well meaning) Sister dynamic and have started to write a fic on that bc no ones done it before apparently😒(im going cray cray, bonkers mayhaps)

Might've gotten my eye infected(I live in the east of the us, new york to be more specific and woke up the day after the "live vintage (BLAME CANADA/j) filter" with my right eyes nerves slightly more irritated and haven't gotten that checked out so thats fun)

FINALLY finished that one drawing ive been making for 3 MONTHS.(well, technically....)

Almost done writing my passion project, AKA the one I originally wanted to make into an animated series but have settled for a book just in case that can't happen! I still need to work out some kinks, design more outfits, get all their personalities in check, make sure the world and magic is fully fleshed out, ect.

I also do band, and while I originally thought that I would have a problem bc of both band and theatres close scheduling(i originally had dress rehearsal on june 2nd, AND my band concert on June 2nd) but it all worked out in the end! My band concert went great, and while the dress rehearsal was a mess, we at least got through it! :)

Unintentionally quit SH! I was originally only meant to stop until AFTER performances, but ive been bettering myself and learned that if I ever want to forgive myself or at least move on I gotta stop feeling sorry for myself and not forget nor forgive, but remember, i just can't let it haunt me. I know I'll relapse, I always do eventually, but I want to enjoy these few moments of mental "clarity" while I can. I've also learned that for some reason i tend to become a more terrible person and despicable person the more time I spend at home with my mother, so that's fun. God, I hate America's education system, its messed me up BAD. AND the foster care system. I just tried to kms 2 times today, and she didn't even notice, or care. How sad is that?

On a lighter note, yes, as the rest of yt and TikTok, I got a minor lil hyperfixation on the Lorax and really think ppl should make more [PLATONIC] Lorax and Onceler dynamics, mainly the type where they're like some really annoying pair of bickering siblings or a father whos sick of his adopted child's shit, like there is so much on the table for platonic fluff and angst and most of what I've seen is romantic smut and fluff like CHANGE IT UP A LIL

Also, Ive been going to karaoke centers on Tuesdays and have become a lot more confident to performing in front of ppl! So far, I've performed "All You Wanna Do", "The Ballad of Jane Doe", "Heart of Stone", and am gonna do "What the World Needs" the next upcoming Tuesday, where I'm gonna try interacting with the audience while singing!!

(Also, before I end this....I may have ADHD??? my teacher who has ADHD says some of my behavior is "similar to hers"(i feel like thats just her way of saying i reek of neurodivergency) and I also did some research and I display similar/exact behaviors listed, have taken online tests from doctorate confirmed sites and basically all of them said to go get a diagnosis. I also found I do a few behaviors similar to stimming! Also also, I kinda suspect a lil more bc my mom has Autism and apparently sometimes neurodivergency is biological (i forgor the word) but my mom is kinda in denial abt my Depression diagnosis and thinks I got anxiety "biologically", so if I tell her I wanna get tested for ADHD shes just kinda gonna gaslight me into not believing that and i already told the school therapist and basically she just told me that I'm probably just imagining things or copying behaviors from my mother and that "kids like to give themselves all these titles nowadays" so I just did what I always do which is to keep it shut and act until they think you fell in line)

So yeah, thats all! Thanks for reading, now that my schedule is clear again ima start posting more frequently again, so be aware :) <3333

[mikiruma]

also things abt laszlo ive been thinking lately

terrible liar, opts to stay silent or give non-answers instead of coming up with something on the spot. he's also just easy to read in general ie facial expressions

the forced smile. the kind you do for family photos when you and your sibling want each other dead but your dad is exhausted from reeling y'all in and your mother doesn't even want the stupid photos anymore. not used exclusively for said hyper-specific scenario, it is very versatile

doesn't like to talk when he's preoccupied with a task. his focus is limited and he hates going back and finishing something later, so every project has to be done in one sitting with minimal distraction. he gets moody when interrupted, but as soon as he's out of work-marathon-mode it's like nothing ever happened.

generally good at picking up hints but the times where it fails can either be catastrophic or hilarious

(in tandem w headcanoning that his flight mechanism works w brain activity) propellor emoting..... mainly when he's upset/flustered/excited. + all that spinning in the movie....

genuinely loves his family but finds dating nerve-racking bc he knows EXACTLY how supportive everyone will be of him & his partner/s. he says they're "embarrassing" and means it as a term of endearment. (they do embarrass him by being really showy and extravagant while he prefers less dramatic/more personal shows of affection but like. in the end who cares)

has grown out of being a hyperactive kid (for the most part) but still has a good tolerance for hijinks and mischief. tallulah is probably the only one who can wear him out

scratch that: tallulah when teamed up with wilbur. they can scheme up a STORM. also the prank wars can get really out of hand. again he's always down for silliness but lasz's lines are drawn more firm

h i'm (<- mimi typed that and im not erasing it)

[truckfreaks]

had such an funny array of experiences the other night at that bar and I've been reflecting on it and wanting to write about it very much.....

on one hand i saw my friends sibling who i haven't seen in quite a while, and he was more outwardly open and excited and chatty than hes been for probably the whole ten years I've known him. like, he even invited me to his bands show? he never invites anyone! he's notorious in our crowd for being very, like... idk. ive heard lots of things - "particular", "difficult to work with", perfectionist... but he was totally different.

he brought his new boyfriend along, and we all had a long silly talk about sneaking into cons when we were kids, navigating the precarious world of gender soup (he understands my soup probably better than anyone, cis trans or otherwise, that I've ever met! it felt great!), the different creative projects were working on (he went to college for video game soundtrack composition at a really prestigious school - super talented!), got really excited when we realized we never had any idea one another had bugsonas and excitedly shared art of our respective bug guys... oh and his boyfriend recognized Dr. Habit on my phone lock/background?! it was the first time anyone's ever recognized anything SFM related on me in the wild ! so that was cool!

and on the other hand... my friend (his brother)'s girlfriend who i've been trying to give an honest fair shake in getting to know was there as well. and like, i think surface wise most people look at her and assume she's like, very ... leftist? and I'm sure she thinks she is, too. but every time i talk to her she sneaks in some kinda backhanded comment about women. i get a big internalized misogyny plus Italian familial politics vibe. and i found myself talking to her abt similar topics, because she said to me she's never seen her boyfriends brother so animated before! and i said well this might be my personal experience coloring things, but being out makes a massive difference in someone's ability to just, like, exist happily! and she wasn't sure what i meant by that, so i explained, and she was like "oh, well i guess i don't understand why you're choosing to identify in a neutral or masc leaning way but you dress like a girl?" and i explained that first off, i appreciate not getting it, but the first step is recognizing that there is no one right way to be a man or a woman, and if we accept gender nonconforming behavior from cis people then why don't we accept it from trans people? why do i have to be a caricature of manhood for you to see me as transmasc? and it kind of got through to her but... not entirely, because her line of questioning was a little ... invasive and unkind in a bad faith way (i have a LOT of patience for folks who may "get it wrong" but engage with me in a good faith way). like she was tryna play gotcha or something.

and i suppose the juxtaposition - people who are quietly queer suddenly becoming loudly queer and, as a result, happier, vs. people who are vocally supportive, but only when a person fits their narrative of what a queer person should look or act like... well. it was not lost on me!

and it also reminded me that sometimes, when you get a vibe about a person, you should trust your gut! it's ok to think, yeah, this isn't a nice person, im gonna protect myself! because if i continued engaging with her, the conversation might have gone very poorly. it certainly has in the past. (for example, apparently bee and puppycat was, and i quote, "too woke" for her. she got really mad when i laughed about it and realized with horror that she wasn't kidding). i feel bad for my friend (her boyfriend) for being in the middle of it, sorta. he's a easygoing simple dude who is wildly supportive of his brother and however he chooses to identify, and frankly i don't think he knows a whole lot about this side of his girlfriend because to him, he doesn't really seek out those kinda conversations. not obviously that it's never come up, but yeah. i know him well enough to know he doesn't share those feelings with her, and it's always really shocking to me to hear her express them - but always when he isn't around. so much so that in the past when I've expressed concern about it, he didn't believe me at first! (then other folks started saying the same thing.)

idk. life is cool and weird and i am happy to be a cool and weird little guy.

[belovedcherie]

I posted 498 times in 2022

That's 498 more posts than 2021!

94 posts created (19%)

404 posts reblogged (81%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@luymani

@pcktknife

@tizzymcwizzy

@belovedcherie (lol its me)

@buggachat

I tagged 497 of my posts in 2022

#art - 137 posts

#reblog - 128 posts

#fav!!! - 101 posts

#cherie's chats - 69 posts

#miraculous ladybug - 64 posts

#project sekai - 56 posts

#cherie watches stuff! - 30 posts

#cherie's aesthetic - 21 posts

#spy x family - 20 posts

#splatoon - 18 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#if i had a penny for everytime we were worried bakugou died i'd have 2 pennies which isnt a lot but its concerning that it happened twice..

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

THAT TEASER IS GOING TO PUT ME IN A DAMN COMA

9 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

#4

thoughts on multiplication

bc i need to scream about this SOMEWHERE. LIKE WOW. OKAY.

obviously spoilers are under the cut !!

tld;r: yelling abt adrien and WHAT ARE EVERYONES INTENTIONS??

ADRIEN FALLING FOR MARINETTE ADRIEN FALLING FOR MARINETTE ADRIEN FALLING FOR MARINETTE ADRIEN FALLING FOR MARINETTE

yes im gonna yell about this first because adrienette holds my HEART YOU DONT UNDERSTAND THEY R EVERYTHING TO ME </3

ive been waiting for adrien to pin for marinette in canon for so long and season 3 def delivered with the little stares he was giving her BUT NOW THAT ITS FRFR HAPPENING?? HIS BLUSH WHEN HE LOOKS AT HER IN THE MORNING? HIM IMMEDIATELY CALLING HER UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT TO TELL HER HOW SPECIAL SHE IS? SOBBING

okay but the fact that he probs tried to kiss her every. day. we only saw 3 sequences but if that montage happened over the span of several weeks..... i am swooning. i am in tears. shambles.

adrien had me KICKING MY FEET AND RUNNING LAPS OKAY I HAD TO PAUSE SO MANY TIMESSDHFK

that being said before i write an essay on light of my life adrien lets talk abt,,,

reverse love square??

i love the idea of reverse love square bc adrien being a lovesick fool for marinette is my aesthetic but iM JUST HJDGSFSGKF BC OF THE TIMINGG

i was kinda hoping for some sudden rapid development today but im not complaining at all dw 🙏🏾 simp-drien is enough

the ladynoir moments are real cute tho :( them playing cards im cryingsdjhs

im excited to see the ship dynamic in the future episodes heheheh

GABRIEL. AGRESTE.

this man becomes more of a loser every episode what else is there to say

him digitalizing adrien.... funny... not funny haha...funny weird....

i hate when this guy gets smarter cuz he always has some wack trick up his sleeve 😔 but i wanna know more abt those weird siri rings

ALSO HOW DOES TOMOE PLAY IN THIS?? i think she knows hes hawkmoth but why is she helping him?? ik they were leading up to their partnership before so i guess we'll finally see why they were so secretive in the past!!

lie-la

i was gonna talk abt her in the gabriel point but this girl is so annoying she deserves one for herself

SHE GETS ON MY LAST NERVEEE

the genuine irritation i feel whenever i see her character on screen is actually funny

"ladybugs just a kid we need to forgive her ;(" GIRL I HOPE PARIS CAN FORGIVE U FOR THE CRIMES YOU'VE COMMITTED??

im sorry theres nothing productive to say abt her other than the fact that it seems shes going to play a bigger role this season (sadly) (but also yay cuz she brings the spice)

okay last point is abt felix

HELP WHEN HE APPEARED AT THE END 💀💀 THIS GUY WAS HERE THE WHOLE TIME????

i hope and PRAY he treats dusuu well homegirls been going through it D:

WHAT. ARE. HIS. INTENTIONS.

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11 notes - Posted June 21, 2022

#3

i saw miraculous was trending and i was like OMG IS THERE FINALLY A NEW SEASON 5 EP?? but it was just beau 😭

12 notes - Posted August 30, 2022

#2

HI so um. back in 2020 kade made this meme thing and i dont think ive ever recovered from it bc I WAS SO TOUCHED LIKE 🙁 NOBODYS EVER MADE ME A MEME BEFORE

since we started talking again a month (+ a day bc i am late) ago i had the idea to make him one in return bc TALKING TO U MAKES ME SO HAPPY AND U DESERVE THE WORLD !!!

sooo here ya go @luymani ILYSM!! happy one month anniversary /p (that sounded way funnier in my head im so sorry LMAO)

13 notes - Posted August 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

thinking abt my son syaoran li ♡

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27 notes - Posted July 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[sorikkung]

ohohoho youve given me so much to talk about here... how you indulge me <33

Gender can be complicated like that sometimes, and to get that in a fanfic is what keeps me coming back for these kinds of stories.

this is a scene i really wanted to include in here at some point, both to normalise these kinds of conversations and also address the reader's gender identity cause i can't say ive ever seen someone describe their identity like this before in fic Or in any other kind of media, only in person. this mc (who i have lovingly dubbed as Vex outside of the actual writing, for any lurkers who may be reading this, but the name will not be mentioned in the text) is more of an oc than a reader insert that is supposed to be relatable to everyone, its supposed to be relatable specifically to me, and anyone like me, because ive never really been able to see myself in fiction like this, but obviously with some creative differences rather than a direct copy-paste. LOL. he wont be relatable to most, but i know for the few who he Is relatable to, it'll mean a lot to have this part explicitly mentioned.

Unintentional personal growth through fanfic! Mischief, your ongoing project to help me grasp the concept of an unreliable narrator is working. (I think. Going to laugh when I look at the educational cheat sheet version of the story if I got this all wrong. I'm determined to learn this!) I don't trust strangers in person, but somehow characters other than Pinocchio and his giveaway nose slip right past me. You finally have me starting to see this reader project his assumptions on everybody interacting with him. This time it starts with Chan.

you got this part right! the cheat sheet talks abt this a few paragraphs down to avoid highlighting the whole intro, but you're on the right page. i'm glad you're able to learn something from this passion project of mine though, haha!

Sure there is some adversarial behavior going on, but to seemingly miss that Chan genuinely can be attracted to him has me sad for our reader. It really speaks to his history and having to fight for his place in the world. We know he can accept unconditional love from his bandmates, so I am excited to see him broaden that group of trusted people over the course of the story.

okay, i want to clarify that its not that vex thinks chan is not attracted to him. he knows that he can continue to have the upper hand on chan because he knows he finds him attractive, he has since their first interaction - but they separate physical attraction from pretty much everything else. what he's doubting here isnt his own attractiveness, but his Power, and his power over chan specifically - he thought he was the toughest guy in the room and he could make chan crumble for him. all these mind games and sexcapades are a power thing for him, he gets off to overpowering and humiliating his self-proclaimed enemies, much like he did to felix both times. its how he feels in control. chan taking that control from him and therefore "winning" their little "battle", has him feeling humiliated that he lost, and assuming that chan planned to humiliate him from the start - the very same way they wanted to humiliate him.

but you're right about him being used to having to fight for his place in the world and accepting unconditional love from his bandmates - i elaborate more in the cheat sheet as to Why he's able to accept that from them yet meets chan with such hostility, but yeah, he's going to face a lot of growth and development throughout the story :)

Oh. That is gutting.

aha THANK YOU! that was exactly the reaction i wanted to garner w that one, and honestly its my favourite part of this chapter i think. honestly it hit rather hard just writing it, like damn SDFKJGKSDF pleased to see it had the intended effect.

And then the commentary about all the hurts and slights he has experienced, meanwhile, we don't know what Chan has been through himself. For all we know, his history could be similar and yet his makeup is set to kindness anyway. But his makeup is honest.

i really, really like this read, because you're exactly right! we (or, i guess, you guys, since im the one writing it, lmfao) have no fucking idea what chan has been through, but once again, the reader is making an assumption here - that if he can't understand why they're so distrusting, he obviously has not been through a hard enough time to get it like they have. but this assumption isn't as entirely left field as most of them usually are, because by chan asking if he's never had someone take care of him or be nice to him before, and asking if he's been hurt that much, being surprised at it, there's a subtle implication there that he hasn't been, but that's still entirely assumption.

And then to get our reader's lack of self-awareness watching Eric's behavior after trying the same with Chan.

this is a very, very good catch that even i didnt consciously pick up on until you mentioned it! yes, their dynamic with eric currently very much reflects their dynamic with chan on opposite ends, just with a lot more love and animosity respectively.

Going to be very interesting to see how the characters grow as the story goes on. I keep saying I am rooting for them, because I am. Can't remember if we have been promised happiness for this cast, but I hope that happens after a lot more episodes to savor.

i did in fact promise a happy ending for this one, because i cant do tragic endings they make me too sad </3 but that doesn't mean a Whole Lot will happen between now and then. it'll get a lot worse before it gets better, but this cast were never the type to do things the easy way anyway. writing these characters grow and develop over time is honestly one of the things im looking forward to most abt writing this!

Loved the reference to a hot cocoa moment with Mingi. I like that you can drop in a reference without having to give us the scene and still give so much meaning to that paragraph.

this story has a Very large cast of characters, and i want to showcase each of their individual bonds and closeness without extending the wordcount by triple the amount just to get in all the required backstory anecdotes, so that's exactly what i was going for here! i like to insert these little moments here and there so you can really feel how close and tightly interwoven these characters are and the history they have without derailing from the plot.

I gotta know if the rice thing is real.

it is! im surprised you havent heard of it, its a very popular woosang moment, heres a cute lil animatic of it by natacular.

thank you for your particularly lengthy review on this chapter!! they always make me so happy to read and i look forward to them each time i post hehe <3

what goes on in neverland. ⇝ aftercare, aftershocks, and the aftermath

word count: 8.9k

pairings: transmasc!reader x Everyone, everyone x everyone (its literally too convoluted for me to try type them out here anymore just see the masterlist for full pairings LOL)

genre: e2l, f2l, smut, fluff and lots of assorted shenanigans. hijinks, if you will

au: battle of the bands!au but make it gay and horny

warnings: nothing really? discussions of top surgery scars and gender identity?

a/n: noticed a lot of chan likers after the last chapter... yall gonna love this one :)

tags: @honeybyunnies @syunderful @absentcaryatid @mingirn (lmk if you want to be added/removed!)

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Waking up in the bed of your biggest competitive rival is definitely, to say the least, sobering. 

You’re not surprised to find the bed empty next to you, but you are more surprised to find yourself still there. Staying the night was never on the agenda, but neither was really submitting to him, so you suppose compromises were made. The memories flood you with the uncomfortable kind of heat now that the lustful haze has faded, and you are left with nothing but the searing humiliation at how easily you played into his hands. 

Who really won there? You really thought you had him for a moment back there, pressed against the wall and shutting you up in the exact way you wanted him to. It was all going so damn well. He seemed so close to breaking then, you saw his subtle blush and the hitches in his breath, the way he leaned into your touch rather than away from it, the way he had to kiss you to shut you up because he knew you were right. He was enjoying you playing with him, he was excited at the prospect of you having a go at him, what fucking happened to all of that?

Was that an act? Letting you have your moment so it can be even more satisfying when he gets to shut it down? Did he find you cute then, too? Or was it that goddamn golden boy, did he want to seem nicer in front of him still? Did he not want poor little freckles to see him be mean?

Illuminated by only the dim coloured light atop Chan’s bed – a warm yellow-orange, now – you wince as you roll over and check the time. 1:47am, your phone says, which isn’t that long after you would’ve finished, considering the time when you arrived there already. God, he really did take his time with edging you – but before you could wonder where exactly he went, he comes back in with a bottle of something in hand and all his make-up washed off.

“Ah, you’re awake.”

“Were you about to do something to me while I was–?!“

“Shh,” he whispers, putting a finger to his lips, “You’ll wake up the rachas if you start yelling. They’re deep sleepers, but not that deep.”

He seems far too calm for someone who could have been caught doing something dastardly or nefarious, so your mouth falls shut, and he opens the bottle and pours some oil on his fingers. You notice the label on the bottle then, soothing massage oil – and after warming it up in his palms, he gestures for you to turn over.

“What?”

“Turn around. On your stomach if you want, but you can also stay sitting up.”

“Why?”

He snorts, nodding at your wrists. “You were bound for a long time. Are you not sore?”

When he says it out loud, you are no longer able to ignore the aching pain in your shoulders, wrists, and your back as well, from being stuck in such a position for so long. While you’re no stranger to aches and pains, whether it be for BDSM related reasons or pole dancing, it definitely doesn’t make sleep any easier, and probably what woke you up.

“Well, now that you mention it…”

“Come on then. Turn around.” His voice doesn’t carry any sternness, nor does it even hold much impatience, simply just having a task he plans on accomplishing and getting straight to the point. You comply.

His hands on you are gentle, but firm, pressing down at the tightness in your back with enough pressure to make you moan softly, but he doesn’t so much as make a snarky comment about it. He’s surprisingly silent as he works, focused on the task at hand, and you wouldn’t mind the change of pace if not for how hyperaware it makes you of every sound you make.

“It’s okay,” he murmurs softly, “you don’t need to hold back that much. The walls are thick enough.”

“It’s not the rachas I’m worried about,” you mutter, uncharacteristically self-conscious despite not even facing him, but you can’t deny his massage feels good. When his skilled ministrations slow down to a halt, you cast a glance at him over your shoulder.

He’s smiling at you.

“What, worried ‘bout little ol’ me?”

You whip back around with such ferocity your neck audibly cracks. “Asshole.”

He chuckles lightly, then gets back to massaging your shoulders, a little gentler this time. “I’m not big enough of an asshole to tease you during aftercare, tough guy. You can relax.”

Aftercare? It shouldn’t come as a surprise to you, having done similar acts of aftercare yourself and having received it more times than you can count, but something about receiving it from Chan of all people is puzzling. Last time you checked, you were having hate sex. Not that you hate him, really, that would be a pretty strong sentiment you currently only really hold for Felix by merit of him being Eric’s flaky ex-boyfriend, but you don’t exactly like him, either. Well, you like pissing him off, and you like competing with him, and you like getting reactions out of him, and maybe you like his artistry as well, but that’s about as far as it goes.

Oh, and you like his body, too, that’s a big one. The way his hands work the tension out of your shoulders is positively divine. Suppose he’s a pretty face, too. All up until he opens that big mouth of his.

“You say that, then you teasingly call me tough guy again. All men do is lie, huh?”

“Tch, you’re one to talk,” he scoffs, pressing harder with his massage, but not too hard, so it’s welcomed. “Besides, I wasn’t teasing. You’re tough.”

You wait for him to elaborate on that, but after a long moment of silence staring at the figurines on his headboard and the flickering triangular lights above it, you realise that was where his comment ended.

“…Thanks?”

“You’re welcome,” he hums simply, definitively, then shifts you on the bed to turn back around and face him again so he can take your wrists and begin massaging the oil into them too. He doesn’t even so much as spare your face a glance, but it’s not avoidant. It’s focused, and just a little bit tired, too, you realise, noticing the crease in his brow.

You frown. Something about the silence feels so damn intimate – even more so than the actions itself, which you suppose are just him going on automatic after dominating someone. After all, giving aftercare is often the aftercare in itself for dominants, too, so maybe he’s doing this for himself as well.

He pauses to look up at you. “Got something on my face?”

As intimate as the silence felt, getting caught staring is far, far worse.

“Yeah,” you snort, throwing up snark as a reflex, “Ugly.”

It’s a bit harsh, you think, and the way he cocks his head makes you think he’s disguising a wince, but he looks back down at your wrists as he continues to massage them anyway.

“You wouldn’t be in my bed right now if you really thought I was ugly.”

He’s right.

“You’re right,” you echo, not really wanting that to be the hill you die on anyway when you both know its not true. That isn’t a good look on you, either. “It was a joke. I don’t sleep with ugly guys.”

“I know.”

He wraps up and pulls away, and you find yourself missing his touch as soon as it leaves you. Which is odd, because once again, you don’t even particularly like him, nor were you even expecting aftercare, and he’s already doing more for you than you would’ve bothered doing for him.

Or that you did for Felix.

The silence stretches on, and that thought grows louder. Is that what this is? Considering how Lino obviously told Felix what you messaged him, you wouldn’t be surprised if Felix told everyone else about your night at the Prism in excruciating detail, too. Based on how Chan acted with you tonight, it seemed far too deliberate for that to not have been the case. The look he gave Eric while kissing up on your neck? Hell, he had to have seen that. That’s right, he was there, he must have seen it and–

“Feeling a bit better? Want me to massage anywhere some more?”

His face is as open as you’ve ever seen it, expecting to hear a genuine response. There’s no more attitude, no more competition, no more sexual tension – despite the fact that you’re both still half naked, you in only the unbuttoned shirt you didn’t take off before he bound your wrists, and him still gloriously shirtless, just sitting in his underwear. He looks a lot less intimidating without his make-up on anymore, either, the softness of his features really bleeding through, and without such a cocky expression either, he looks like a whole different person.

The lingering soreness is more of the pleasant kind, now that he’s worked his magic, but you nod anyway. Just so you don’t have to look at him again. You shift back around. “My back’s still pretty sore, actually.”

You feel the bed shift behind you as he shuffles onto his knees, and presses a hand between your shoulder blades to push you down, and you lie onto your stomach without a word.

“Does that hurt?”

“What?” He already lifted his hand, he can’t possibly think he shoved you too hard. Is your back supposed to hurt while lying on your stomach after being bound like that? “Um, yeah. Kinda.”

“Your scar, I mean,” he says plainly, blinking at you dumbly when you peer over your shoulder again to look at him. “I mean I know it’s healed, at least, it looks healed enough, but still, pressure on such a large wound…”

“Oh, that- that’s fine,” you reassure him, plopping your head back down on the mattress and letting your eyes fall shut. “Bed’s soft. Didn’t even think about it.”

“Alright.” He throws a leg over you to straddle your hips, this time massaging your lower back as well, and while you asked him to continue mostly just because it felt nice, you now realise how much tension you had down there, too. “Can I ask how you got it?”

“My scar?”

“Yeah. I mean, I know what top surgery scars look like, but that looks a bit more violent. Makes me wonder if it was something else.”

“Ah.” You fall quiet, not really sure what to say. That you asked for it to be that way? Doesn’t really sound all that impressive when you put it like that. He’d probably ask why, too, and you aren’t sure how you would explain that to him, either.

“You don’t have to tell me,” he says, stopping only to crack his knuckles and pour more massage oil onto his palms before resuming the massage, “Was just curious.”

“You said it was pretty,” you breathe out, not daring to open your eyes and look at him. “Guess you’re not bad at dirty talk, huh. Suppose it is pretty violent looking in reality. I like it that way, though.”

He pauses – his words, not his hands – for a short beat before responding. “Pretty and violent aren’t mutually exclusive, you know. There can be beauty in violence, sometimes.”

“Yeah?” you huff. “Sounds like something a pretty violent person would say.”

He presses down extra hard on your shoulder and you grunt, knowing it was entirely on purpose. “Says you, tough guy. You’re a little menace.”

“Who you calling little? First freckles, now you – you guys sure do like pulling the height card for a bunch of garden gnomes. Glad to have someone shorter than you for a change? Congrats, he’s not even a cis man.”

“What do you identify as, by the way? Do you consider yourself a man, or...?” Chan asks genuinely, once again dodging your attempts at provocation. He’s getting quite good at this, and that bothers you, because provoking him was the entire fun of him, but you suppose now is too nice of a moment to really push it.

“Man enough. Man sometimes. On Tuesdays, maybe. On Wednesdays I’m just a gendery enigma.”

He chuckles. “What about Thursdays?”

“Hmm. Guy, but in the same way you call an animal friend you find on the street a little guy, y’know? Just a dude.”

His signature giggles are back, and you find yourself smiling and cracking your eyes back open before you even realise it, hazy. You can’t remember the last time you felt this relaxed since the whole competition started.

“And on Fridays?”

You yawn loudly, letting your eyes flutter shut again as sleep threatens to tug away at you once again, but you know you won’t fall properly asleep while he’s still touching you. “Gender on Fridays… that’s between me and God.”

He laughs properly at that, catching himself quickly and keeping it quiet as to not disturb his roommates, but you feel an oddly swelling sense of pride at being able to make him laugh like that. Maybe he won this game of wits you played in bed, but he can’t deny you’re at least funny.

“Alright, I’m getting tired,” he yawns as well, rolling off you and flopping back onto the bed next to you. It’s only then when you notice the bright red lines adorning his back, and gasp at the sight.

“Holy shit, Chan, your back.”

“Yeah?” He looks over his shoulder at you with a simultaneously sheepish and smug grin. “Suppose you didn’t get a good view before, huh?”

“No, I’m not— okay, I am appreciating the view, but dude, I basically mauled your back, does that not sting?”

He wrinkles his nose, twisting his torso this way and that experimentally. “A bit. It’s not bad, though.”

After he took care of you so gently, you find yourself wanting to take care of him at least just a little – just to even the playing field, so he can’t chastise you for not knowing safe kink practices, or otherwise flip it on you somehow. At least, that’s what you tell yourself when you get up and ask him if he has any ointment for it.

“Ointment?”

“Yeah, like an antibiotic cream, or something. I broke skin, Chan. There’s a bit of blood. The least you should do is get it cleaned so it doesn’t get infected, especially if you’re gonna sleep without a shirt.”

He yawns again, stretching out and then wincing slightly, no doubt at the fresh scars adorning his back now. “Get it cleaned, huh? I don’t suppose you’ll do it for me?”

You bite at the inside of your cheek. “Is this a test?”

“A test? No, it’s a question. Do I have to get up and do it myself or can I stay here?”

“...Where’s the ointment? Or should I just use water?”

“Bathroom’s around the left corner, in the cabinet behind the mirror.”

It’s exactly where he said it was, so you return with a damp cloth and ointment in hand, and seat yourself behind him on the bed. This is certainly not your first time tending to your own scratch marks – or claw marks, as Kevin likes to call them, joking that the band are your scratching posts – so you fall into the process rather quickly. A gentle wipe-down before applying the cream, that’s all it is, you could do it in your sleep.

Your heart is beating out of your chest like it’s about to erupt.

You know why. It’s not a Chan thing, you know that for sure – it’s the same when taking care of your bandmates, too, as there is something so sacred about the whole process that’s almost tender. It’s the vulnerability of it all, and you’ve since gotten more adjusted to it with the others, but without any trust built between you and Chan, it feels significantly more potent than usual. Risky, almost.

Maybe it is a Chan thing.

Silence drags on and neither you nor Chan do anything about it. Out of tiredness, probably. You wouldn’t call it entirely comfortable silence, though; for some reason, tending to him feels even more vulnerable than him giving you the massage. You suppose you can’t really keep pretending like you hate him while you’re treating the wounds on his back that you inflicted, and you’re not sure what this means, anymore. You don’t know what any of this means, or how you’re supposed to be feeling about this.

“There,” you finish, closing the cap on the cream shut. “All done.”

“Thanks,” he mumbles, shifting around on the bed to get a better look at you, and you find yourself unable to hold his gaze. He shrugs and simply flops down onto the bed. “’Think I’m gonna go sleep now… oh wait, did you want like, undies or something–“

You snort. Undies. “You’re not kicking me out?”

He tilts his head up just enough to drowsily stare at you in confusion. “No? Not when you look like you’re about to melt right into my mattress. But hey, if you wanna uber home or something, go for it. I’m not keeping you here.”

He rolls over, slipping under the blankets and curling himself around a large pillow. Cute, you think. He looks even smaller like this. You wonder how you must look for him to make such a comment, how much of the number he did on you is visible, but you know you won’t get any sleep tonight if you stop to check in the mirror now.

“Yeah, I’ll take you up on the undies.”

“Aight.” He yawns again, stretches, clearly falling asleep already as he grabs you a spare pair of boxer briefs and tosses them at you as he slides back into bed. Once your shirt is on the floor and you are under the blankets with him, you find yourself subconsciously gravitating towards his side of the bed for warmth, to which he responds by turning over and draping himself over you instead of the pillow. It reminds you so much of sleeping with Sunwoo, Eric or Mingi that you find yourself lulled right back to sleep at a record speed.

If waking up in the bed of your rival was sobering, waking up in the arms of your rival is like a bucket of cold water to the face.

What is worse is that it takes you far too long to realise it, at first. Sleeping with strong arms around you is your norm, so you don’t really question it as your sleep-fogged brain slowly starts turning its gears, and you practically jolt when you pull your head back and realise you’re snuggled up to the one and only Bang Chan and pointedly not one of your bandmates.

“You’re not Sunwoo,” you blubber out, sliding away from him on the bed, and Chan just drearily groans and rolls over, pulling your half of the blanket with him.

“No. M’not.”

He stays still there, so you suppose this is your cue to get out, make your walk of shame, et cetera. Not that it was ever really a shameful walk for you, it being more like a walk in pride at the accomplishment of the notches in your belt, but Chan being who he is and his roommates being who they are make you finally understand why they called it the walk of shame in the first place.

“Where y’goin?” he mumbles, peeking out at you over his blanket as you start picking your clothes back up and getting dressed – still in his underwear with yours discarded on the floor somewhere, but at this point you consider leaving it behind as a prize, just so you can get out of there quicker.

“Where do you think? Home. Unless you’re up for round two? I’m warning you, I won’t go easy on you this time.”

Chan laughs out loud, wide and bright and fucking humiliating. You threatened him and he’s laughing at you. You scramble to get your things quicker. You need to leave, and you need to leave now, before you can dig your own grave even deeper.

“Have brekkie before you leave, at least!”

You pause to gawk at him, curly hair now free from its chemical restraints and sticking out in every which direction, his softer face illuminated by the morning sun. Who is this man?

“Breakfast? Seriously?”

He stares back at you like you are the one out of your mind.

“Yes? Do you not usually have breakfast? It’s the most important meal of the day, you know.”

“I pissed you off, tossed you around, let you bring me home and fuck my brains out, and now you’re making me breakfast? Chan, do you like me or something?” you guffaw, the only reasonable conclusion you can come up with using the limited brainpower you have access to before noon. Seriously, who the fuck does mornings these days? It was either that, or he’s trying to kill you with kindness and make you feel bad. Ha. Like he could ever.

Chan furrows his brow, recoiling in mild disgust and confusion. “No? God, is that what you think? I’m literally just being a good host. You stayed the night, I had my way with you, now I take care of you. It’s not rocket science, y’know.”

It’s not rocket science, he says, but trying to make sense of him is looking more and more like a complicated algebra equation you failed in math before dropping out. Why does he feel the need to take care of you? You’re not his responsibility. He doesn’t owe you anything. You were mean to him on purpose and he knows it, so he might as well have tossed you out on the curb as soon as he got off. Maybe called you an Uber if he wanted to be a gentleman. But this?

“Why?”

“What do you mean, why? I just said why! Have you never had someone be nice to you before, or something?”

“Wh– of course I’ve had people be nice to me before, I’m not that pathetic,” you scoff, folding your arms. “Just not after I’ve gone out of my way to aggravate them on purpose.”

Chan just snorts. “Maybe you should stop aggravating me on purpose, then.”

“So that’s what this is!” The final piece of the puzzle clicks into place, and you stare him down intently – or maybe that’s just the morning glare in your eyes. “You’re trying to kill me with kindness, aren’t you? Think being a good host will make me go easy on you? Smart, but I have less of a conscience than you seem to think I do–“

“God, a man can dream, I guess! No,” he sighs your name in the most exasperated tone you’ve ever heard from him, “this isn’t some evil plan to take you down as a competitor, I’m literally just being nice. Because I like being nice to people. Is that really so hard to believe?”

“You don’t have a reason to be nice to me. I sure as hell ain’t nice to you! Every time I think you’ve grown some backbone you–“

“Oh please, that is not what you were saying last night,” he interrupts, finally starting to lose his cool. Good. You hate fighting him when he’s so clear-headed. “You wanna be so tough and scary so bad, but you insisted on cleaning my wounds before bed–“

“Oh my god, you are in love with me, aren’t you?”

Whether you actually think Chan harbours any sort of romantic feelings for you leans heavy towards no, but the accusation is one you can think of very few people who wouldn’t get a rise out of. Not to mention how funny it is to see them flounder to prove themselves just for you to twist everything they say against them.

“In love with you? Are you seriously that self-obsessed? No, no– I’m not falling for that, you know I’m already–“ he cuts himself off this time, realising the hole he just dug, but it’s too late.

“So you are in love with Felix, you admit it!” you cackle victoriously, clapping like a seal. “You’re right, we already knew, but I sure wonder if Felix does. What was his Instagram tag again? Lix something?”

“Sure, go ahead and tell him, like he’d believe you,” Chan huffs, “You’re not subtle either, tough guy! ‘You’re not Sunwoo!’ Hm, I wonder why you’re thinking about waking up in his arms.”

“We sleep together, genius,” you deadpan, rolling your eyes, “the entire band, we all sleep together, I did not think any of us were subtle about that.”

“I know that, but why is it Sunwoo’s name specifically you think of first thing in the morning, huh?”

Fuck. Why is it Sunwoo? As soon as you ask yourself that, your recent conversations flash through your mind, and you sure as hell are not about to let Chan of all people know about that.

“Because your arms felt like his, it’s not that deep!”

“I don’t mean this in a body-shaming way, but his arms are like half the size of mine. I’m not exactly convinced.”

“Then don’t be! I have nothing to prove to you.”

“You really don’t! So why do you keep acting like you do have something to prove to me every time we meet?”

His words slice through you like a hot knife through butter, and it takes a second too long to come up with a response. He’s right. You fucking hate when he’s right, and you would sooner edit a Wikipedia article to win an argument against someone when you’re in the wrong than admit it to him.

He sighs. “I don’t get why you have such a raging hate boner towards us. I know Eric has beef with Felix and we’re neck and neck in the Battle of the Bands, and you get your kicks out of provoking people, but you seem to think that I – or the other guys too, for that matter – would act against you if you slipped up enough to give us a chance to. But we’re not like that.”

We’re not like you, is the unspoken message there, but you hear it loud and clear. “Why wouldn’t you? Felix still has something to prove, that much I can tell for certain. Lino was quick to spill my secrets as soon as he had them. Hell, Changbin threw me over a table for something entirely consensual and even went as far as to slut-shame all of us. Like, riddled with diseases? Really? You’re no better than we are just because we actually own up to being assholes, you just lack the self awareness.”

Chan tilts a brow up at you, then it furrows into a puzzled expression. “This is what I mean about you bringing out the worst in people. Lino went for it because he knew you’d definitely do the same, and Changbin... he doesn’t start fights as often as you’d think he does based off of your experiences with him. They’re usually justified. Though I will admit the slut-shaming wasn’t, he was just trying to get some sort of edge over you since he didn’t know you knew about Hyunjin’s career. He’s actually done sex work in the past too, got his fair share of STI’s, it’s not an insult that comes from a place of actual prejudice.”

“Oh, so its all blatant hypocrisy then! Wow, that’s sooo much better, you guys are such morally-correct heroes.”

He rolls his eyes so hard you think he got a glimpse of his brain, then pinches the bridge of his nose in barely concealed frustration. “Okay, yes, sure, he’s a hypocrite! I’ll admit to that! But you’ve had something to prove since before any of that happened, so I’m just wondering why exactly you expected us – why you expected me – to be some sort of villain from the get-go! Why do you want me to be the bad guy so bad when I’m just trying to be nice to you and make you some goddamn breakfast?!”

You see he has reached his wits end, and it’s no longer a noble attempt to defend his team but a cry for help to save himself. You knew your verbal spars had more behind them than he tries to act, but now he can’t pretend like he’s their infallible shield anymore. Nor can he pretend his little posse are all virtuous saints. In a way, you finally won, you made him crack.

So why does it feel so much like losing?

“Because I just don’t get why you don’t,” you confess in an aggravated sigh, “Other people would! I’d argue that you should, given it all! It feels— it feels wrong to have you just, clean me up and make me breakfast when we’re not even friends! We don’t even like each other! Like, this goes above and beyond even for just a Tinder hookup!”

Chan barks out a dry laugh. “It’s like you really can’t comprehend the concept of someone being nice to you. Have you never had someone properly take care of you before?”

“I have! My band take care of me better than I could even ask for. But that’s the difference, they’re mine. They’re my band, I mean, we have a bond even deeper than family, we take care of each other because we love each other. What reason do you have to take care of me of all people? I haven’t given you a single reason to and yet, you do anyway.”

“You think people need a hard-earned reason to be nice to you?” Chan remarks back at you, and it shocks something deep inside you with an ice-cold chill. Yes? Maybe? That would sound stupid if you say it out loud. Would it? It makes so much sense to you, though. People can be nice without reason sometimes, but not to people who don’t deserve it.

Not to people like you.

“I... I’m not saying people can only be nice to people once they’ve done something to earn it, I just mean that people aren’t usually nice to people who have given them a reason – or in my case, multiple reasons – not to be. If someone hurts the people I love, I’m not making them breakfast, I’m kicking them to the curb when I’m done.”

“I know,” Chan deadpans, no doubt thinking about Felix too. “That’s where we differ then, I guess. I don’t filter who I’m nice to based off of some invisible tally of who deserves it or who doesn’t. I choose to be kind because it’s how I want to be, not because it’s what someone does or doesn’t deserve. I’d like to say that all people deserve kindness, but even I cave and deliberately deny people of that sometimes. I’m only human, yeah? We all are. Even you. So I’m not sure why you’ve convinced yourself you’re so unworthy of my kindness that you lash out at me for it. Have you been wronged that much?”

He says it so casually and gets up to wash his face in the connected bathroom like he didn’t just cover you in paper cuts then drop you in a pool of lemonade and salt. Have you been wronged that much? Hell, have you been wronged by that many? You think back to your family, then your former friends, their friends, your peers. You think about your band, all runaways or renegades from similar surroundings, and the safety you found in them being like-minded individuals. How you all met because you were all so scorned taking the road not taken, so driven yet so lost.

Society has a way of chewing you up and spitting you back out into more pieces than you started off in, then expecting you to pick them up and glue them back together yourself, as if you are the one who did it. That’s just how life is; there is no childhood without hardship, no adult without trauma, despite the best efforts of many and the lack of effort of many more. Everyone has their own demons to fight, all while fighting for their lives in the blender that is late-stage capitalism and man-made prejudice.

You know all this. Yet when Chan asks, ‘Have you been wronged that much?’ Part of you thinks that all of that is bullshit and somehow you and your band have ended up being through hell and back for no other damn reason than drawing the short straw in the hand dealt to the rest of the world.

“I don’t... I...”

You struggle to find words for the emotions you are feeling – rage, grief, sadness, bitterness, envy, but there’s something else in the muddled pit of them all that doesn’t quite fit with the others. Hope, maybe? That’s a dangerous emotion, but that’s rarely stopped you before. You wouldn’t be where you are today without it. Fear? Closer, but what for? Relief? At what?

Chan walks back out of the bathroom with a hand towel around his neck, then right past you towards the kitchen.

“Come on. I’m making pancakes.”

Feeling like you don’t have much of a choice not to – or a reason not to, for that matter – you follow him, plopping yourself wordlessly down on a stool on the outer side of the counter.

He doesn’t say more as he takes out the ingredients and gets to work, a simple recipe but nonetheless homemade compared to the pre-made pancake mixes you use back home. You take the chance to observe your surroundings, spacious yet rather cluttered with the various belongings of the multiple men in the household, and that is when you remember you two are not the only occupants currently home.

“Are the others still asleep?” you ask, and he just shrugs while pouring batter onto a fry pan.

“Probably. We’re not usually up before noon, but I’ll make some for them to have for lunch.”

“Did I wake you, then?”

“Yeah. But it’s fine. I got more sleep last night than usual, honestly.”

It will never not be jarring to you, the difference in the kind of conversations you have with Chan. You’re either arguing with blades drawn, or you’re laid completely bare with nothing but an emergency razor blade hidden under a band-aid on you, conversing like you actually know each other. Like there’s any sort of closeness or trust between you. You don’t know if that is just because you’re more used to fighting him than not, or because something about Chan with his guard down makes you feel even more exposed than ever, or if it’s the things he’s done and said in the past twelve or so hours that changed the air between you. There’s discomfort in how comfortable it is, a juxtaposition you have no idea how you got to.

“Don’t get much sleep, huh?”

He nods, scarred back still facing you as he cooks. “Not usually. I tend to stay up late until I’m exhausted enough to maybe catch some sleep when I finally go to bed, then try to sleep on and off until it gets too hot at noon and I just give up. Well, not all the time, I do get uninterrupted sleep some nights, but the staying up super late and getting up late is pretty consistent. So yesterday I went to bed kinda early.”

“2am kinda early, huh?” you snort, and he chuckles.

“Yeah. Earlier than five, at least.”

The relatively comfortable silence from last night returns, and you find you don’t hate it as much this time. It’s still rather foreign, but not as deeply unsettling as it was before, so you are content to just take in the view of his half-naked form cooking a gigantic stack of pancakes until he finally plates and serves.

“Eat up, then.”

You do.

You have been dreading returning home since the moment Eric threw his little fit last night, so you are already bracing yourself for metaphorical impact – the impact being rancid vibes more than anything else – from the very moment you open the front door to your apartment.

What you find instead, is a messy-haired Han with the buttons on his shirt done up one buttonhole too low, skewing the whole symmetry of the shirt sideways. If the bruises on his jaw and neck are any indicator, you’d guess this is Sunwoo, Wooyoung, or maybe San’s handiwork, but given that it’s your apartment he’s coming out of, you put your money on Sunwoo.

“Damn. You too huh—”

“I was just leaving!” he blurts out, shoving past you and speed-walking away while still putting on his layered jackets, and you snort and close the door behind you.

“Let me guess, that was the work of one man starting with a ‘Sun’ and ending with a ‘woo.’”

“You know it!”

He calls back at you from the kitchen, and you realise the mop of dark hair you spotted on the couch is not him and his permed curls, but simply Wooyoung’s atrocious bed hair. Or maybe sex hair. Could be either or, with him. Walking into better view, you notice the whole band is here already, seemingly waiting for you with Eric standing between the two couches expectantly.

“Ah good, you’re finally here!”

He sounds less than thrilled, and the rest of the band don’t seem all that excited either, barring Sunwoo’s aura of smugness at having his plaything leave moments prior. The tension in the room is palpable, like mugginess on a humid day, except the windows are wide open and the constant drone of the fan on in the background makes the would-be silence even louder somehow.

“Oh boy,” you groan, “if you’re going to grill us all on sleeping with the enemy, frankly I do not want to hear it.”

“You think I wanted to hear Jisung screaming out Sunwoo’s name repeatedly last night and calling him oppa?” Eric guffaws, as if that’s somehow your fault. You take a quick glance at the man in question, who only looks even more proud of himself, so you snicker at him.

“Wow, nice.”

“No, not nice, what the fuck you guys! Is there anyone here who didn’t fuck a stray kid last night?!”

“Huh?”

You look around the room at the others, only thinking you and Sunwoo did, but the only one who cautiously raises his hand is Kevin. You figure Wooyoung and Mingi probably got Changbin to crack with the added influence of Lino, but your eyes widen at San.

“Whaaat? That Hyunjin kid was testing my patience. Though I can’t say I wasn’t curious after his stream—”

“Seriously guys, did everything they said just evade you? They dissed our music, our message, Wooyoung and I’s dancing, our sex lives— and you’re going on and fucking them instead of fucking them over? What the fuck you guys!”

Wooyoung just shrugged. “I sure fucked him over his boyfriend, I think he appreciated the view—”

“You’re not even taking me seriously at all!” Eric roars, eyes flaring, but he’s right. You aren’t. You don’t think anyone else in the room even is.

“It’s hard to take you seriously when you’re trying to come at us for who we choose to sleep with. Like, I thought we agreed that what we do with other people is none of each other’s business, and it’s extra hypocritical when you were the first to do so this time. Last year we literally fucked a homophobe from the rival band to humiliate him and now you’re drawing the line? Just say you’re upset about Felix still and be done with it,” you tell him with scalding bluntness, and you can see the hurt visible all over his face. It does make you feel partly guilty, but you meant every word you said. Suppose you didn’t hear everything the others said once you were preoccupied with Felix and Chan, but you don’t think it would have changed your path of action regardless.

“Fine then,” Eric hisses, bitter and thoroughly done. “Fine! Fuck them all if you want, have one big fat orgy in our living room for all I care, but don’t expect to touch my ass once you’re done with them. Kevin, you’re the only one left with hole privileges.”

Kevin wrinkles his nose and raises a brow, puzzled. “But I’m a bottom?”

“Good! Then don’t use them! An extra fuck you to the rest of them!”

He storms off after that, slamming the door to his room behind him, and you all take a collective sigh at his little temper tantrum. They aren’t anything new, but he usually isn’t this unreasonable, but you all know why. Felix. It always comes back down to Felix, the first love who broke his heart into so many pieces he is still trying to glue them back together. You feel sorry for what he is going through, you really do, but that doesn’t mean you are going to let him walk all over you and lash out like that.

“So. Movie night?” San suggests to break the tension, and the others are quick to nod and mutter in agreement.

“Definitely not here, though,” you pitch in, Eric’s loud trap music blasting from his speakers through the closed door, right on cue. “Let’s give him some space to cool down.”

“I’ll stay here,” Sunwoo suggests, “Just in case he needs to talk it out while we’re still gone.”

“Let me,” you offer, “I’m not huge on movies anyway—”

“Respectfully, I think he’d rather talk to anyone but you,” Kevin interrupts with an apologetic frown. “You did kind of fuck around with his ex without him. I don’t think he wants to confront how jealous that made him. He still misses him so much.”

“I know,” you sigh, sinking down into the couch, wedged between him and Mingi. At this point you have already accepted movie night is not going to happen until you have talked this all out with the others. “I think it’s more than that, though. When I was talking to him about it while training him on pole, he said the rest of the kids made him jealous, too. Because those are all effectively, and I’m paraphrasing this bluntly, mind you, but they’re basically his replacements. His and the rest of their dance crew that he left. He wanted me to fuck Felix with him to prove that he too had moved on and met cooler, hotter and more talented friends to make music with, so he could feel in control again. But I think it backfired on him as soon as they started winning and rubbing it in our faces. At least, based on his outburst just then, that’s my guess. Still needa ask him directly, preferably once he’s let off some steam.”

Mingi plays with your hand as you talk, his large ones easily encasing yours and tracing patterns along your skin. “Sounds about right. Maybe we should stop sleeping around with them, then. It’s not like we’d have much of a dry spell without them, as hot as it is I don’t know if it’s worth making Eric upset.”

“That’s treating the symptoms, not the root of the problem,” you point out, noticing the way he stays fixated on your hand, not looking at you, but more so, not looking at Wooyoung. “That’s the thing I don’t get about monogamy. People will go to such lengths to make sure their partners don’t get jealous, instead of trying to unpack why they feel so bad about seeing someone else with them. Like, clearly he has a lot of insecurity about being replaced, or other people being better than him. I get that. So we just need to show him how much we value him, and how irreplaceable he is to us. How fucking with other guys doesn’t change that.”

That seems to stir something within Mingi, gears turning in his head visible on his face. You hope that it’s the realization you think it is, because while Mingi has never been the overly jealous type like Eric is, you know from many late nights drinking hot chocolate on his shoddy balcony that his insecurities are just as loud and all-consuming sometimes. You haven’t had the chance to properly check in on him since his fight with Wooyoung in front of you, but you hope he can read between the lines nonetheless.

“Huh. And how do we do that?”

“We put him in control again,” you say decidedly, nodding. “A position of power, of some sort. Make him the star of our next stage, build it all around it. Let him run it, even. And of course, him permitting, suck his dick till he’s shooting blanks.”

A unanimous chuckle ripples through the room at the last part, knowing full well how the combined effort of the six of you could make that a very easy feat.

“He did call us here to talk about our next stage,” Wooyoung hums thoughtfully, “I think he wants to do another special stage like we do at those dance clubs, with you taking over drums and Sunwoo on bass so he and Mingi can dance with me, if I were to guess. He seemed particularly torn up about their comments on dance specifically, which makes sense given how that’s how Felix left him.”

“What did they even say about your dancing, anyway? I didn’t catch that, was too busy arguing with—”

“Sneaking off to suck Felix’s dick in a hallway, we know,” Wooyoung snorts, shifting himself into his usual seat, that being Mingi’s lap, and leaning against his chest. “They said I danced like my sex appeal could make up for a lack of talent. Which is whatever, honestly, I just used that to make Changbin admit he still found me hot and eventually lead to bringing him home – amazing ass, mind you, he wanted to top so bad and I damn near let him but—”

“Okay, okay, details later, what else did they say about us?” Knowing each other inside out means that the tendency to cut each other off is never taken too personally, given how much you all have the tendency to ramble.  You’re grateful for it, because at times like this, you need to get straight to the point. “Did they insult Eric’s dancing too?”

Wooyoung grimaces, lips pursing into a line, and that is enough to confirm your suspicions. “...yeah. To be fair, Eric did bring it up first. He was taunting them about their dancing and how they should go compete in dance competitions instead like they used to in Force – but oh, that’s right! Felix left Force, and for this, and he implied it was because he knew that they’d never make it in an actual dance competition without Force. So they dragged him and the rest of Force through the mud, saying maybe the reason they disbanded as soon as Felix left was because they knew he carried the team and they were nothing without him. You can imagine how hard that would have hit.”

You poke your tongue at the inside of your cheek. Can’t exactly say their response was entirely uncalled for, then, but at the same time, Eric made a solid point. Why didn’t they just enter dance tournaments instead? You remember Eric going to compete in a whole ton of them between Force and Triple Z, the dance crews he was in with Felix and Wooyoung and Mingi respectively.

Force since disbanded with Felix’s departure since he acted as the glue that held the crew together, the other members closer with him than each other, while Triple Z still meets up sometimes, but a lot more casually than they used to now that most of them aren’t studying anymore, and have a lot less free time working to pay rent. Especially with the Battle of the Bands coming up, you don’t expect they will be doing anything big for a while now. At least that meant Eric finally stopped overworking himself between all his commitments.

You think about the week prior he spent learning a whole new medium of dance just to prove a point, and you quickly retract that thought.

“I think I know just what he needs,” you speak up, the puzzle clicking together in your head one piece at a time. “Not just what he needs, what this competition needs. An even match.”

“An even match?” San echoes, and you nod, noting the way he looks slightly disheartened, but you continue before he can think that the band isn’t a worthy competitor to the current reigning group.

“An even playing field, I mean. They’re doing something completely different to everyone else; that’s why they’re winning, because they can’t be compared to anyone else. We just need to give them something to compare to. Another dance group. Four of us are already some form of dancer, and the rest of you are fit and fast learners. If we spend the next week on the grind, we can make a dance performance out of one of the old tracks Kevin or Mingi produced for Force or Triple Z that never got used– and if we let Eric run this little boot camp, he hopefully will feel like he’s in control of the situation again and that we still value his opinions and role on the team.”

“So... your vote is basically plagiarism then,” Wooyoung snorts, crossing one leg over the other with a playful flourish, almost kicking you in the face in the process. “I’m interested. In fact, if we want to really boot camp this, we should all take the week off work. I think I can help cover the costs that may arise from that one.”

“No way!” San gasps, eyes quickly widening while the rest of you glance around at each other, not getting the memo. “Don’t tell me that sugar daddy you were talking to is actually legit...?”

“More than legit,” Wooyoung preens, evidently rather proud of himself. “I found out how to squeeze even more dough out of him. He loves seeing me in fancy designer brands, he has no idea I just stole half of it and have been using the generous allowance he gave me to spoil Mingi instead and buy other sorts of useless shit and necessities. So I just pretend I’m this fashionista diva who only wants to wear the most exclusive of designer, and even with all the money he’s giving me, it doesn’t give me the connections to get limited edition pieces from exclusive collections... and he gets them for me, of course, and do you have any idea how much those kinds of things sell for?”

If there was one thing you always admired about Wooyoung, it was how clever that sly fox could be when it came to things like this. Trust Jung Wooyoung to milk rich old men for all they’re worth, but still not consider that microwaving rice three times would make it into a solid brick. The duality of man.

“Why haven’t you told us earlier?!” San seems almost offended, lips falling into a pout. “That’s huge! You’re basically rich now!”

“Ew, gross,” Wooyoung wrinkles his nose, “I’m not rich, I’m exploiting the rich. Big difference. Don’t lump me in with those bastards! I didn’t tell you all yet because I didn’t want to get my hopes up in case it was a scam or he ended up being dangerous, but... I think we’re in the clear now. I’m still going to pole dance because I love it and I don’t want my only source of income to be reliant on some old rich man’s whims, but I can afford to take a week off and pitch in for you guys too. I might have to leave periodically if he calls, though, but luckily I already know how to dance. I’ll catch up quick.”

“It’s a plan, then,” Kevin speaks up, and the relief it fills you with is immense; you were the most concerned about his reaction to the idea, as he was the least inclined to heavy physical activity out of all of you, but you figure you must have been underestimating him – he may be no dancer yet, but Gaga nights at the gay club have him vogueing like he is one. “We make our next stage a dance stage to rival theirs, and Eric gets to put us all through dance hell? Good thing I started working out…”

You look around the room for any signs of protest, but luckily enough, everyone seems to be on the same page. You see a particular spark in Wooyoung and Mingi’s eyes – for completely different reasons – that make you think this really is the right path to take.

“Going once, going twice… agreed, then!” You clasp your hands together, determined. “Someone pick a movie, and we can tell Eric when he feels like speaking with us calmly again.”

a/n: not gonna lie this might be one of my favourite chapters so far hehe those chan scenes were extremely fun to write. anyway if you havent already, let me know your thoughts thru this google form or even through an ask, either or can be anonymous if you want (tho if you want me to reply to your form responses, pls do sign off w ur @!) as always reblogs are always appreciated and im always down to talk in depth abt these characters if any questions or brainrot arises. LOL

[andro-dino]

I know you love Shishiya a lot (his first name is a nightmare for a dyslexic person like me so I have to go with his surname) so why not talk about him, I'm especially curious about what songs you associate with him :D

CHALKKKKKKK I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW BADLY IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO BRING HIM UP JUST SO I CAN TALK ABT HIM

these are going to be hyperspecific because the projection is strong here

For one, he definitely 100% unironically enjoys hyper pop. It makes him happy. He’s the kind of person who listened to ringtone by 100 gecs and thought it was a cute romance song and then REALLY listened to the lyrics and was like “NOW WAIT A GODDAMN MINUTE-”. He would like glitchgum too methinks. Sakyo once asked him what he was listening to only to be met with the glory that is xXXi_wud_nvrstøp_ÜXXx and then severely regretted his decision. He doesn’t understand why Takanosuke likes it but it makes him happy so he doesn’t question it.

He definitely also has a playlist of cute romance songs. He’s played Honeypie on loop more times than he can count.

He has like 4 anime rhythm games on his phone. He’s not very good at them but he likes them a lot. Does not do good things for his wrists though. His favorite pjsk character is emu.

He’s tried a lot of abhorrent food combinations and most of them he actually really enjoyed. He never brings it up to people because they always get grossed out by it but he insists that if they just stopped being cowards they would understand how wrong they are.

If he gets too excited he loses all ability to form words and just kinda just makes noises while making very big gestures and expressions. He stims A LOT and is not afraid to show it. He flaps his hands and pumps his arms very intensely, bounces and jumps a lot, and definitely has a lot of vocal stims. He also has a habit of mirroring people’s mannerisms and has accidentally picked up a lot of speech patterns from his friends.

He’s very affectionate. Some may say clingy. He likes to hold onto people a lot and nuzzles and hugs them a lot. Sakyo is obviously the biggest target of this. At first he was apprehensive but just got used to it over time. He wouldn’t initiate it but he doesn’t mind it anymore.

Sakyo gives him gender envy. Sakyo does not know what that means and is frankly a little scared to ask, but he’s pretty sure it’s a compliment so he guesses it’s alright.

He likes animals a lot. Dogs usually like him a lot. Cats usually do not. It makes him sad. He likes rodents and reptiles a lot too.

He usually hums and bounces a lot when he walks. He’s been told he acts like a cartoon character. He doesn’t understand what that means but he takes it with pride.

He likes cozy games. He has the most abhorrent animal crossing island you’ve ever seen but he worked hard on it and he’s proud of it goddammit. He cries when he chooses the wrong dialogue option or gives a character a gift they don’t like in stardew. His favorite romanceable characters are Sebastian and Sam.

Whenever Takanosuke mentions how much he admires Zyro, Sakyo definitely does NOT get jealous nope not him. He is completely fine about it and definitely does not feel the need to show off how much cooler he is than Zyro nope absolutely not. Takanosuke does not notice this in the slightest.

[nerice]

1-4, 10-14 for black swan 👀

HOTTEST ASK IVE EVER GOTTEN 🤍 #tw linn, the usual.

what’s the maximum amount of time they can sit still with nothing to do?

gray wld be fine just sitting around until he becomes part of the interior design though it depends on pain whims bc sometimes it's easier to move and put his body to some use than tough it out while burning up inside. ideal existence is dancing with linnea, followed directly by sitting completely still reading a book without paying attention for the rest of his unending life. linn is, ofc, the exact opposite, restless internal drive to do and experience things like it's no wonder that the one power she retains post-fall is short distance teleportation (turning into fog and Leaving) lmao

how easy is it for them to laugh?

ggggHHHHHHHHHH. evilest question & YOU KNOW IT.

linnea is always laughing :3 always always amused by everything around her and if not she will make it amusing (to the possible detriment of bystanders caught in whatever the fuck her idea of entertainment is in that moment) vs. gray who. u rly are making me say it hhhhh. laughs from the bottom of his wretched heart around linnea and then never again (only empty snide grins, the same hollow cruelty he projects from thereon) but with linnea it was real.... the laugh she is able to draw out of him… how fun it is to be around somebody who enjoys life to the fullest, vicarious joy (no matter how rotten it turns in his mouth sometimes) being around linnea is easy, effortless, she makes him smile and laugh & forget abt it all </3

how do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

gray has the hot habit of inducing sleep by suicide. yknow why bother wading thru 17 layers of exhaustion and possible nightmares n trauma traps when a knife up his arm takes care of the business in ten seconds. lol, meanwhile linn once again presenting as the fun opposite where she's insomniac by choice until she's had her fill of excitement and sleeps like a baby. fun bed-time rituals include tempting gray to rail her into oblivion or otherwise unsavory adventures with mortal pets that she leaves edged or bleeding while she decides to take a Nap™, also sometimes eating well and having a comfy pillow are nice, yknow, normal things :3

how easy is it to earn their trust?

neither of them trusts anyone i wouldn't even necessarily say they trust one another, they just know what to expect. like w/ linn you never know what ur gonna get but gray is at peace with that since they mutually subject the other to their whims, neither of em wld go as far as to call it a betrayal. n that very much shapes how they interact with others bc even if eliada somewhat earns gray's trust, gray is always aware of his ulterior motives & linn doesn't have close ties with anyone until after black swan deviancy though maybe she should have mistrusted faye a little bit more :) etc

what lie do they most frequently remember telling? does it haunt them?

linn has never been dishonest in her life. if she says something you can be sure she means it (and plans on following thru. u better watch out) i guess the one lie she (unwittingly) told was when she put gray to sleep and said she'd go take care of faye, which is moot since she loses that memory along with everything else :^)

gray is not particularly haunted by anything he has said or done😊

how do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

gbhgbfhgbfhb both of them bastards would just pretend they know exactly what's going on lmao linn is too used to having the upper hand to concede on any ground & while gray occasionally inquires in earnest when talking with eliada abt soulless issues he still mostly plays it off as 'oh yeah thats what i figured' when eliada imparts new knowledge on him bye

how do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?

gray: once again suicide is an option. if body fucky just reset (though the more common situation is his body being achy in weird places as such a common occurrence that if it's truly just an itch it won't even register for him. come back with a level 10 pain cataclysm if you want him to bother)

linn gets obnoxiously dramatic about it until gray helps her out but then she just uses it as an excuse to go full whore mode and [drapes herself across his lap] "guess where else i'm itching ;)" irredeemable

what color do they think they look best in? do they actually look best in that color?

linn commits to the all white color scheme she knows suits her (bonus points for accidental wet incidents that make her getup see-thru) also loves to accentuate in shades of blue that match gray's eyes bc she's cringy like that & ofc she knows and is right in that blood always looks good on her. freakshow of a woman <3

ive made my thesis on gray in the screenplay we all know he is the furthest known object from fashion in the universe so he's content with Whatever Linn Picks Out For Him and she delivers & is right that stark black and silver contrasts well on him tho if i may be a hoe for a moment i will just say. any monotone & esp sepia-toned outfit he looks extremely good in because it brings out his eyes. im already popping some cyanide but i'm right

what animal do they fear most?

linn knows no fear. gray could stand to develop a healthy fear of rabbits imo send tweet

[seaquestions]

im sorry to the fetts, to anakin and obi-wan, but ive been thinking about quickswitch and sixshot’s story since before i got into star wars and ever since i saw the prequels i cant help it [copies homework but changes it as much as i can so its not similar] (long post ahoy)

anyway!! i started working on a lil comic script some time ago (which im not gonna finish anytime i bet but it still gave me Ideas). sixshot is taken prisoner by the autobots, and theyre gonna experiment on him to try and make their own six-changer. unfortunately sixshot wakes up, trashes the place and escapes before they could finish the full scope of the project but they did manage to create... a baby clone of sixshot (our boy, quickswitch). they get magnus/minimus to take care of the kid because a) not a lot of ppl have the clearance to know abt the project and he’s one of the few b) of the people who do know, he’s the only beastformer c) since he’s so dedicated to the cause, it would ensure that quickswitch grows up to be a loyal autobot, yes? so here. take care of this child.

things go wrong eventually. but for the time being minimus is an adequate dad to quickswitch, for someone who had zero prep or warning that he was going to care for sixshot’s baby clone. and they do love each other. minimus cares about the pup more than most things in life. maybe even more than properly filled paperwork. he has to be actually minimus way way more often too, and thats probably good for him and his identity issues. quickswitch‘s dad is minimus ambus, not ultra magnus. its a secret thats hard to keep, very hard now that he doesnt hide in the armour as often, but minimus follows the rules; not even his own pup can know.

and, naturally, quickswitch finds out. but not before he finds out the truth about his origins first. he’s a curious kid, yknow. and he’s different. people treat him different. nobody else is like him, he’s special. he’s going to grow up to become the hero of cybertron. (he’s going to grow up to become a weapon.) and it takes a little push from an anonymous message, telling him that he needs to know the truth. to know why he exists, and where he came from. and he sneaks around and finds out about the whole project, confronts his dad, and asks what other secrets have been kept from him and, well, the kid doesnt take well to being lied to his whole life. doesnt take well to the realisation that his whole purpose is to be used. he runs away, scratching the autobot insignia off his chest.

and as all this is happening, sixshot does his job, does his duty: committing acts of violence for the decepticon cause with indifference and existential loneliness. to someone like him, its a simple life. he’s been bored since he was born, really. he’s not had a challenge for a long time now. and unlike others he’s disinterested in fighting his fellow decepticons. whats the point, if they all end up in the same medbay? besides, he’d win anyway. he lets shockwave examine him, mess around and experiment, because what’s the point of saying no?

(shockwave found out about quickswitch very quickly, and decides to shelve the “cloning sixshot” project idea. if someone beat them to the punch, might as well not waste any resources. no, lets just take the already finished product, and make him think it was his idea too.)

quickswitch grows up, roams around the galaxy, unaffiliated. takes in a few bounties for cash, ends up making himself known against his will. well, its kinda hard to be inconspicuous when youre this big and you’ve got six altmodes, just like that very infamous decepticon, sixshot. quickswitch doesnt know if he wants to meet him. he’s afraid, a little bit. but he’s also so curious. think about it. thats his dad, right? well, his template at least. in his dreams, sixshot takes him under his wing and becomes his new mentor, maybe even recognises him as his son. in his nightmares, he is an autobot still, and he is pitted against the very person who he is made from, and he dies a brutal death. quickswitch still holds a grudge. he misses minimus but if he wants to stay, he’d have to rejoin the autobots, and he Does Not Want That. no telling how he’d be treated too.

minimus retreats into the armour. he’s ultra magnus nearly 24/7 now. he thinks about reaching out, of finding quickswitch and reconciling, but he’s afraid of being rejected. the magnus armour doesnt do anything against his son. its minimus who fucked up. he knows it, and he hates it. hates himself.

maybe they cross paths once in a while. but quickswitch just glares at ultra magnus’ face and walks away.

quickswitch gets swayed towards the decepticons. the idea of meeting sixshot is compelling, and as he grows into his own strength, he’s less and less scared, and more just curious, excited maybe. and he will meet him.

..... this is the part where im not quite sure how i want the story to go. the things that are definitely going to be a thing: quickswitch meets sixshot. sixshot is initially like “what the fuck” but slowly comes to like quickswitch. ultra magnus shows up at some point and all three have a confrontation. minimus and quickswitch reconcile, at some point. but idk what actually does happen??

either QS and 6S meet in a string of coincidences, or QS joins the decepticons? maybe?? i feel like either way QS is factionless by the end at least. thats just the vibe im getting. kinda wanna say “and then quickswitch gets two dads and they all live happily ever after” but ahh.... it just doesnt feel right for the tone of the story so far. but anyway thats what i got!!! the ending is!! not really there yet!! but ive been typing for like an hour so sksbjsjak im wrapping this up.

[lipwigliest]

nice things today!

got to wear my cute & gay outfit to uni... hell yea

that class was so nice??? FINALLY something engaging that actually required me to think, i actually feel a little excited about studying now!

afterwards i went for a walk with some groupmates that i didnt really get much chance to spend time with before... nice

also got to chat with my roommate? tbh it was mostly me doing the talking but i feel like this is the most shes ever talked to me so 😂 progress

got an idea of how to speed up this crocheting project.... maybe

ok already said that but i legit felt so good abt the way i looked today? i styled my hair all nicely and like, even at home i wore a different shirt and felt better 😂

ALSO i did most of my homework for today's class well done me

also i had a really nice breakfast

and played animal crossing to finish the day, it was very chill

cool things tomorrow!

didnt go to the post office today so ill do that tomorrow! wooo

okay hopefully actually dealing with that uni thing. or at least sending an email. soon im gonna become an email wizard or something

fuck yeah no alarm for tomorrow i get to Sleep as much as i want

also ive a pretty cool class tomorrow, sadly online but ill try to enjoy it regardless 😌

kinda thinking abt starting a new book? ive been wanting to read more again but the book im reading atm is just not doing it for me, and i have another one that seems short but interesting!

[wincore]

AGREEEE, WORKING OVER THE WEEKEND IS THE WORST esp since im in uni full time and i work 9-5 on the weekends which means... no breaks for me ever.. 🥲

MASSIVE CRUSH ON OIKAWA OMGGG I SUPPORT THIS!!!!! but i am unfortunately much older than 15 and still enamored by 2d men 😔 life’s rough like that HDJWKDJ YES ATSUMU CAUSES PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE.. HES THE WORST!! btw.. ive heard that the oikawa to atsumu stan pipeline is very real... so if u get to s4.. u may develop atsumu brain rot like me 👁_👁

OOO alright run on, extracurricular, vincenzo, true beauty, love alarm, & perfect crime. NOTED!! ive actually been meaning to watch extracurricular for a while now, it looks so interesting!! now that it has the wincore seal of approval i must watch 😤 OMGG SAKURADA DORI I SAW HIM IN ALICE IN BORDERLAND!! super good show but really gore heavy at some points 👁

ahh ok thank u for the reccs, ive been thinking about starting demon slayer too!! shoplifters sounds really interesting :oo crime??? i havent watched a full movie in a while so i will def check it out!! THESE R ALL GOING IN MY NOTES APP.

NEXT YEARRR omg it sounds far away but i know time passes so quickly nowadays so I WILL WISH U LUCK ONCE AGAIN 💛 i hope u update us when the time comes!!

UGHWHHD EVEN THIS SYNOPSIS IS MAKING ME MISS UR WRITING?!? I LOVE THE WAY U WORD IT... “given a choice to pretend, you find that jaehyun is the lesser of the two burdens to bear” AHHHHHHH omg “he’s in a relationship and doesn’t rlly care about the soulmate system” THIS IS ALWAYS SUCH A PAINFUL SCENARIO IN SOULMATE AUS PLSS!!! Wait is the soulmate of yn gonna be an oc/vague character or another member :O EITHER WAY... PAIN! THIS IS GETTING ME SO EXCITED AND U HAVENT EVEN MENTIONED ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT JAEHYUN’S LIKE IN THIS FIC YET

RUNWAY CHARACTER CAMEOOOS YESS I LOVE RUNWAY YN!!!! i actually reread it last night and ugh i was reminded how much i love yns personality... just the process of experiencing all tht self doubt with them!!! so real & makes u root for them :’)

“if jeno plays edward i need him to that apple scene like taemin did” WHHHHHWJDJJWJDBW THIS MADE ME CHOKE ON THE WATER I WAS DRINKING LMFAO

GODDDD THESE TROPE/MEMBER PAIRINGS, HARD AGREE HARD AGREE!!! HAECHAN AND RENJUN ARE E2L 100%!!!! i think bc the ppl in the bff2l category cant convincingly hate yn back LOL

“gets complimented on his lyricism often but like every song’s about you” STOPPPPP HES SO PERFDCT FOR THIS TROPE!!!!!

OMG I SEE EXACTLY WHAT U MEAN ABT SICHENG IN ROYALTY/CHAEBOL AUS... i think like u said it’s because of his poise & the way ppl are generally in awe of him but also bc of his reluctance to open up!! more reserved until he trusts u... funny and kind but sometimes perceived as aloof... those r some prince tendencies! “what are corporate businesses but modern day kingdoms” LMFAOOWJDJ SERIOUSLY THO

“mans really said i will not give you any onscreen idol personality to work with” HDJWJDJWJSJ LITERALLYYYY this is why i have trouble reading jaehyun fics sometimes bc sometimes they can feel “inaccurate” but its mostly just bc there’s no Standard Personality Stereotype to go off of. but a random & uncommon trope i think he’d pair well with is exes to lovers!! Yes im basically just a jaehyun + angst advocate.

“i think most of them would pair well with bff2l??” FACTTTTTTT and no im not just saying this bc its one of my favorite tropes.. heh... i think i told u this before?? but ur like the main reason i started enjoying e2l!!! i didnt like it before bc i love the PINING in bff2l but then i started reading ur works n was like OH SHIT! THERES LOADS OF PINING HERE TOO...

i think yangyang is not bff2l or e2l, he is in his own category which is Annoyer2Lover HDJWKDJ ex: troublemaker, wasted nights

OMGGGG I DID NOT EXPECT ROYALTY AU TO HAVE SUCH A LARGE LEAD IN THE SURVEY??? and cryptids is so low 😔😔 cmon guys, vampires r fun!!!

WE R LITERALLY WRITING ESSAYS TO EACH OTHER RN BUT I LOVE IT 🥺🥺 its a such a nice break to read ur response when im burnt out from studying!!

OMG IM GOING THROUGH #moonwrites AND IM LITERALLY AN IDIOTTTT IVE BEEN OFF TUMBLR FOR SO LONG I DIDNT REALIZE THAT ROMEO ROULETTE HAD A PREVIEW OUT????

“And I get what out of this?” “Me?” IM IN LOVE WITH THIS CHARACTERS PERSONALITY ALREADY LMFAOO

“—and when this whole game you’re playing is over, you’re going to say I rejected you.” ?!?!???? THE WAY JAEHYUN IS A LITTLE SHIT! THEIR PERSONALITIES ARE BOTH SO FUN PLSJWJDJEJ IM MORE EXCITED NOW!!

pls disregard the part in my last ask where i asked abt romeo roulette.... i had no idea all of the information i needed was sitting right in front of me 😔😔

- tata

WHAT 9 TO 5 ON EVERY WEEKEND???? the system has failed you this honestly feels like a villain origin story 😭 when does it get better???

ALSO let me answer the other asks separately for better readability lol we really out here writing essays GOOD THING i have practice writing but like. this is infinitely better to write 🥰

PLSSS SOMETIMES I WILL SEE AN EDIT/TIKTOK OF OIKAWA AND BE LIKE DAMN I REALLY NEED TO CATCH UP I MISS THIS MF also are you daring me to ruin my life for 2d men bc i will do it without hesitation. wait till i watch hq again and get that atsumu brainrot with you he seems annoying enough for me to like ^_^

AND YES PLS I WAS SO ABSORBED IN IT!! extracurricular was the most gripping show i’ve watched in a while like yes enough teen romance give me two unhinged teenagers doing crime 🤩 AND OMG??? THAT’S WHERE WE SAW HIM TOO and although niragi was literally vomit-inducing human trash, sakurada dori is like. a good actor. except i hated coffee&vanilla which starred him it was literally so cringe i couldn’t 😭 i blame the writers for that though. IM EXCITED FOR S2 OF ALICE IN BORDERLAND THO i really like horror (and i can tolerate gore if ive been desensitized enough) and like i read the manga too!!! the games were really interesting (although morbid).

😭😭 MY NOTES APP IS FULL OF RECS FROM FRIENDS ALL OF THEM HATE ME FOR NOT WATCHING THE SHOWS BUT LIKE. i binge 3 or 4 at a time and strike them off and then go 6 months without watching a single tv series hhh.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I SURE WILL UPDATE !!! it’s so exciting to think about grad school sometimes :33

AHHH IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT AND THE PREVIEW TOO SGSDJKDS there’s a few differences in the actual fic i think bc i changed up the language (and i dont remember what else bc i refuse to look at my writing) JAEHYUN RLLY IS A LITTLE SHIT he’ll be like hm yeah im pretty chill :) and then proceed to beat yn at her own game at times. (she wins mostly dw) the fact that i made her soulmate cha eunwoo like girl if i were you i’d crash their relationship 🥱 (jk) but like. jaehyun too is 🤩 despite being dry af

ASDKDSKDS YOU REREAD ALL (ALMOST) 19K WORDS ??? IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE THAT FIC SM AAAAHHH IM FEELING LIKE AN ACTUAL AUTHOR 🥰 i loved runway yn too they were like boss attitude with 20% anxiety.

LOOK JENO BETTER BE PULLING MOVES LIKE THAT TO IMPRESS THE GIRLS 😤 if he hits himself in the forehead with the apple, bonus points bc that was true comedy (as invented by taemin)

AND YES. LIKE I KNOW MARK HATED DONGHYUCK SO MUCH HE WANTED TO LEAVE SM BUT LIKE HE’S TOO NICE WITH EVERYONE ELSE 😭😭😭 i cannot picture him pissed off apart from that summer fight </3

thinking about dejun getting rejected by a girl he wrote a song for. rip brother.

IM GLAD YOU PUT THAT INTO WORDS BC THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS!!! he’s got all of these regal qualities but he’s still human ykyk so it makes for the most amiable person on earth 😌 i love this characterization of him!!

oof exes to lovers with jaehyun... i had a similar idea a while ago (with theme song sincerity is scary by the 1975) that i discarded bc i don’t think i’m cut out to write that 😭 (YET) so i will keep this is mind. u r so right about jaehyun feeling inaccurate bc it’s like he’s very mild in personality onscreen sometimes?? so him having strong personality traits makes me go 🤔🤔 that man is overreacting. (jkjk but like you get the idea)

WAIT RLLY OMG BC OF ME???? i would never enjoy e2l irl bc irl dudes are 🤢🤢 and if they annoy me i will end them. but in fiction the mutual pining and initial disgust at yourself for liking the other??? helllooo 🤩🤩🤩 especially if it’s in a romcom style <3 bff2l is also better in fiction bc if the relationship doesnt work out irl and the person become uncomfortable with me i will just get annoyed jskshdl

LMAO YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT YANGYANG HE’S JUST THAT™ DUDE skgkhs he feels like someone fun to hang out with but he would annoy you the whole time. also he is cute 🥰

AND EXACTLY!!!! IM HAPPY FOR ROYALTY AUS BUT CMON. LOOK AT THOSE VAMPIRE TEETH. feel like media ruined vampires for people 😔 

THIS IS SUCH A NICE BREAK FROM STUDYING HONESTLY!!!! im like working on two semi-large projects AND studying course and out-of-course material simultaneously so my brain is a little fried. thank u for this 😘